#aroace discourse

[artic-peril]

I swear to god I'm going to rip aro and ace exclusionists to shreds with my teeth

ITS A SPECTRUM DUMBASSES

I'm sick of seeing people getting told they're not aromantic or asexual or anything under the umbrella because they engaged in sexual or romantic activities at all.

I am getting so pissed with it all. People don't stop being asexual just because they've experienced sexual attraction or sex itself.

People don't stop being Aromantic because they felt romantic attraction or are in a romantic based relationship.

People don't stop being demisexual if they have sex with someone without a developed relationship. Same with Demiromantic.

I'd also like to say: Aesthetic attraction doesn't equal romantic or sexual attraction. That doesn't invalidate anyone at all. Get it through your fucking skulls.

Like I said. It is a spectrum. I'm a hardcore AroAce myself. But I also feel some of what I interpret as aesthetic and sexual attraction to a small amount of the latter.

[sanyu-thewitch05]

So I’m warning ya’ll, the Yelena Belova aroace erasure discourse might show up again:

[skys-archive]

Fandom Can't Handle Asexuality

I was watching this video and GOD this is so important. I haven't felt like making a post about everything that goes into shipping ace and around characters but this is really good to what I think. This is about Alastor from Hazbin Hotel but it's a really good watch even if you haven't watched it

Especially there's this one part, about loopholes. I fully love the idea of queer platonic relationships between fictional characters, but a lot of the fandom seems to be using it as a loophole to be romantic under the veil of qprs. A queer platonic relationship is NOT romantic. Depending on the people there might be affection of some kind but the whole point is that there's no romantic feeling.

I don't know, I don't have the energy to fully get into the aroace shipping discourse but please for the love of everything, us aroaces don't have a lot of representation, and when we do all everyone wants to do is try and use our words against us. Aces can be sexual, aros can be romantic. And yes that's true but not when these characters so clearly are NOT. Alastor is so clearly not interested in touch and and sex and romance, Isaac from Heartstopper is so clearly pained from the fact that he just doesn't want sex or romance AT ALL. I can't speak for other representation as I haven't watched it. Please stop doing this.

You don't want your gay characters in straight relationships, you don't want to take away representation it's what we've been saying forever so why are you taking it away from us?

I guess I got into it more than I meant to but really I could go on forever.

[unagrancantidaddepanes]

"allo people ship aroace characters in QPRs as an excuse for aroace erasure by still shipping them with other characters" is the most mind numbing take ive ever heard in my life. I cant believe I have to say that respecting aroace identities isnt aphobic 💀

[bloggingboutburgers]

I realized I was AroAce and got into the community apparently long after the dog days of AroAce discourse. I'm glad that it's somewhat better now, but I'm kinda disheartened that we were rejected in the first place. I still only have a partial picture of what went down, though. What was it like at the time?

I'm not gonna lie – I wasn't really that vocal about being aroace at the time, only occasionally, because I believed it'd probably get ignored or diminished anyway.

...Guess that sorta made me dodge a personal bullet, considering the stories I read. (Also full disclosure, whenever I stumble onto posts about it I can only read a certain amount before I have to stop. It's all pretty distressing and I try to avoid that.)

I'm really glad and very pleasantly surprised I now get so much positive feedback talking about my aroace experience, but I also still get the occasional aphobic comment on this website or others, and I bet many others do too, so let's not forget that it's not like the discourse is fully gone either. I'm really glad things are going good, but I hope everyone can stay safe from exclusionist being verbally harmful to them. Didn't think their words could get to me anymore but they still do sometimes and... Yeah.

[homerjacksons]

Why do you only write romance and ship fics if you’re aroace

Bc being aroace doesn’t stop me being a sappy little romantic fool???

[kiwikipedia]

Are you one of those guys who thinks aroaces are part of the lgbtq

Not sure how to tell you this buddy but I am the AroAce in the community. Fucking deal

[sheena-is-a-punk-rocker]

Ngl, it was a breath of fresh air becoming besties with my tattoo artist because he's legitimately one of the very few alloromantic people out there that holds his platonic relationships on the same level as his romantic ones. He got a gf and I never once felt like I was being pushed aside or abandoned and it's sad because THAT SHOULDN'T BE A RARE THING IN FRIENDSHIPS

being on the aro spectrum would be a lot easier if being single wasn't made to feel like a literal death sentence

[kazbrekkerfast]

shoutout to the aromantics who don't feel love at all. shoutout to the aromantics who feel love deeply but not in the way society wants us to. shoutout to the aromantics who are repulsed by romance. shoutout to the aromantics who are romance positive. shoutout to aromantics who have conflicting feeling about romance. shoutout to aromantics that are neutral about romance. shoutout to aromantics in qprs. shoutout to aromantics who aren't in qprs. shoutout to aromantics who are also asexual or aspec. shoutout to aromantics who are allosexual. shoutout to aromantics with conflicting identities. shoutout to aromantics who are questioning. shoutout to aromantics who are in relationships. shoutout to aromantics who are happy not in a relationship.

shoutout to every aromantic person reading this because you are valid and a welcome part of the queer community no matter who you are or what you identify as. you are so loved and appreciated <33

[solfinite]

extra doodles below

[xxbl00dsh3dbunnyxx]

I WANT THE LGBT COMMUNITY TO JUST STOP FIGHTING

WE ARE NOT AGAINST EACHOTHER, WE ARE NOT ENEMIES NO MATTER HOW YOU IDENTIFY

TRANS PEOPLE ARE NOT YOUR ENEMY, INTERSEX PEOPLE ARE NOT YOUR ENEMY, BISEXUALS ARE NOT YOUR ENEMY, LESBIANS ARE NOT YOUR ENEMY, ASEXUALS ARE NOT YOUR ENEMY, AROMANTICS ARE NOT YOUR ENEMY, ETC

TERFS ARE YOUR ENEMY, TRANSPHOBES ARE YOUR ENEMY, HOMOPHOBES ARE YOUR ENEMY, ACEPHOBES ARE YOUR ENEMY, AROPHOBES ARE YOUR ENEMY, ETC

STOP PUSHING AT EACHOTHER, START PUSHING FOR EACHOTHER, ANY HATE TOWARDS ANY GROUP OF US IS HATE TOWARDS ALL OF US

TRANS PEOPLE BEING ATTACKED IS AN ATTACK ON ALL OF US, INTERSEX PEOPLE BEING ATTACKED IS AN ATTACK ON ALL OF US, BISEXUALS BEING ATTACKED IS AN ATTACK ON ALL OF US, LESBIANS BEING ATTACKED IS AN ATTACK ON ALL OF US, ASEXUALS BEING ATTACKED IS AN ATTACK ON ALL OF US, AROMANTICS BEING ATTACKED IS AN ATTACK ON ALL OF US, ETC

THERE ARE NO "GOOD" QUEERS IN THEIR EYES, AS LONG AS YOU ARE QUEER YOU WILL BE A TARGET

DISCRIMINATION IS DISCRIMINATION, DOESN'T MATTER IF IT'S A PHYSICAL ATTACK, MEDICAL DISCRIMINATION, GOVERNMENTAL, ALL OF IT

STOP TRYING TO ATTACK EACHOTHER, WE ARE ALL EQUAL

[artemx746]

“Other people have it worse—“ there are also other people who have it better and I’m sure those other people would meet both our stories with concern. Think about that before you say I need to be oppressed more to be valid

[daybringersol]

gotta be honest, i hate the whole oppression contest between romance-favorable and romance-averse aromantics that’s going on right now. both of those groups are pressured to act like the other. you know why? because people just don’t like us being aromantic. that’s it. nobody’s more privileged than the other, at least not in this context.

if you’re alright with being in relationships, then you’re told you’re not really aromantic. the goal is to make you doubt you’re aromantic.

if you don’t want to be in relationships, then you’re told that aromantics can date, so you should! the goal is to make you more palatable, to make you romance-favorable so then, they can gaslight you into thinking you’re not actually aromantic. or they just straight up call you heartless (shoutout heartless aros, love you guys <2) and/or inhuman, but thats just their true colors showing. they think that of all aros.

and the aromantic people who says shit like that? they’re trying to throw the group they’re not part of under the bus to make themselves either more palatable or less ‘confusing’. they’re scared.

nobody’s winning here. let’s all just shut the fuck up for a second and recognize that these people just don’t want us to be aromantic. that’s it. doesn’t matter if you’re romance-averse, romance-favorable or anything else. they just want us to conform. and if you’re accusing the other side of being responsible for your oppression, you’re playing right into their game.

[wild-wombytch]

Ah yes, classic straights, can't handle disagreement without being homophobic as fuck and using slurs and insults against gay people. Also "it's not your decision blah", but it's the decision of heterosexual people? Y'all also haven't "reclaimed" shit, you use it like just the next homophobe would.

It's used as an "umbrella term" by your lot because lesbian, gay and bisexual are definite sexualities and you're not part of them but still want to be included, since you see it as a cool club and not as a human rights and liberation movement for people who actually experience homophobia.

Tell me again about how heterosexuals are oppressed because other hets have been mean to them once lmaooo

"Aros aren't queer-" GUILLOTINE GUILLOTINE GUILLOTINE GUILLOTINE GUILLOTINE GUILLOTINE GUILLOTINE GUILLOTINE

[mossy-aro]

tbh as much as i do think it is worthwhile to discuss the topic of shipping aromantic/asexual characters and the nuances of it all (as well as the general attitude allos have towards aspecs in fandom spaces). it also makes me sigh equally because like... what characters. i'll be real guys we don't even have characters to discourse over. literally there are like 3 ever and none of those have fandoms anyway and the ones which do are like 'it was confirmed on twitter in a nebulously worded post by the creator'. its so bad out here

[anarcho-catboyism]

Sorry but you're not a "totally progressive radical queer" if everytime you see a gender or sexuality you don't understand you become a fucking Conservative about it.