#argus smut

[latimeria-fell-from-heaven]

OMFG ARGUS BRO UGHHHH RHEHDHEHFUDXJJXJDJDJETHEHEHEHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH WOWWWW SISSOR ME TIMBERS FISNFJSKFNEJ I NEED A FIC WITH HER IN IT NOW

P.s Lati istg when u see her u finna have a bi/gay panic fhzjdjuxiecjdj

hehe as soon as i saw argus, i just wanted her to put me in a chokehold, i love a woman who could just straight up kill me ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧ her design is just so yummy i love it so much jsakchshjvb,,

and omg argus scissoring you?? it's more likely than you think (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝) in spite of her gruff demeanor, there's just something so clumsily intimate in the way that she griiinds herself against your slick pussy, her calloused hands finding purchase on your trembling body. >w< unnfhhhhh just the way argus watches you so intently as you desperately push yourself back into her already-rough ministrations, memorizing every lil' cute expression and reaction you give.

and who knows, maybe next time, she'll finally get her hands on one of those toys you always keep bringin' up <33

[meownotgood]

a few anons asked me about an arcane!viktor and league!viktor fic. here it is. the machine herald and the herald of the arcane sandwich.

18+, arcane season 2 spoilers

════════════════════

The recent influx of arcane anomalies is responsible for many, many things; the dysfunction of the Hexgates, the instability in several Hextech devices. And additionally, apparently, messing with anomalies often results in rifts, capable of bridging one universe with the next. 

You're assuming, anyway. It's the only option to logically explain why you're currently sandwiched between two Viktors.

"Are they always this… obedient?" Viktor — the menacing, Hexcore-infused, arcane-touched version of Viktor — hums, his voice deep and distinctive. It rumbles through you, threatening to displace your shaky legs with its boom alone, echoing several times before it settles in your eardrums. 

You take in a sharp breath, one you're sure the both of them can hear. The lack of space within the anomaly's pocket of unreality forces you to fall back against his chest. True to his assumption, when Viktor's hands find your waist, your limbs go limp. You pliantly allow him to lift you, until you're settled on his thigh. 

"It is difficult to tell." Viktor — the other Viktor, all metal edges and mechanical thrums — finds your jaw. With a firm, steel index finger, he guides it, carefully bringing your wandering gaze back to him. His mask is expressionless, glowing orange pools of light examining you blankly. 

But you swear, the thickness to the edges of his muffled accent, the way he grabs your chin hard, keeping you in place when your head threatens to fall back, as his counterpart's fingertips analytically skim your side — It screams jealous. 

Your eyes flicker all over his figure, unsure what to focus on. Unsure what to make of this. And Viktor laughs, maniacal and amused. His third arm, his Hexclaw-hand, reaches down towards your much smaller figure, settles on your head, and ruffles your hair in something of a playful, infantilizing gesture. Or, it would be playful, if his third hand wasn't capable of producing a dangerous, one-thousand temperature Death Ray. 

"I believe," Machine-Viktor starts, "We are intimidating them." 

Arcane-Viktor glides his palm over your chest, approving. His touch is foreign, neither rough, nor smooth. "Precisely." 

So much for trying to hide it. In this situation, how could you not be intimidated? 

Both of them are insanely intelligent, to the point it nearly scares you. They're larger, taller; you have to crane your neck up to continue looking at Machine-Viktor, gaze steady on him like he's instructed. 

And Arcane-Viktor is somehow even taller than his copy. It makes you feel helpless in his arms, with the way his figure dwarfs yours completely. You can practically feel the persistent glow of his eyes, boring into you. Examining you with a sixth sense of perception, that could only be defined as inhuman. 

The Machine Herald and the Herald of the Arcane are inscrutable. They're both impossible to read, you couldn't hope to determine what they're planning if you had a million timelines to do so. There's a strange sense of understanding between them. A form of matched intuition, perhaps, that comes with being one in the same. 

Truthfully, they've been arguing, bickering over every topic to be brought up since you got stuck here. Cosmological theories, conflicting assumptions, defining the line between the mechanical and the arcane — It's all flown over your head, honestly. Literally and figuratively. This is the first time they've focused on you since the moment you became pressed in between them. 

Yet, when you are involved, they seem to be on the exact same page. The Machine Herald gives a single nod towards the Arcane Herald, and without the need for words, they're switching tasks. 

Machine-Viktor takes your thighs, holds them instead, palms splayed underneath them to brace the weight. Your legs wrap around his waist instinctively, locked at the ankles, his metal armor smooth yet firm against your skin — and Arcane-Viktor steps in closer. Your back presses entirely against his chest, helping to support you. 

His outline digs into your shoulder blades, golden and rib-like. And his hands, purple-hued, rich with power, grasp your face to tilt your head back. To make you look at him, instead. You aren't sure which set of eyes to focus on. The claw jutting out from his back twitches, seemingly regarding you with its own element of sentience. The other Viktor stiffens, for a moment. 

But the position you've been placed in is deliberate; it leaves you wide-open. So, he takes advantage of the opportunity his counterpart has graced him with. His third arm hums mechanically as he moves it. He brings its hand to your mouth, and your lips part to let him press his thumb inside. 

It's more analytical than anything else. 

Arcane-Viktor watches, transfixed, as your tongue swirls around the faux metal digit. It's a curious lesson in mortal instinct. You whimper, your gaze grows misty as you try your hardest to focus on him, but you barely falter. You aren't giving up. Weak and desperate, your whole body shudders, enough to be felt on his palms as a tremble rushes through you. 

Oh, you want to be made to shudder, he realizes. This is a wealth of emotion and excitement and desire for you, an addicting amalgamation of new sensations to experience. Humans love to chase this high. They cannot be distracted by fear, when raw, depraved need clouds their judgement. His machine-equivalent understands this concept, surely. 

Your plush lips meet the artificial joints: welded with clean, steel pivots. Viktor would recognize his own handiwork anywhere. But the intricate assembly around each linkage — the other Viktor has improved the design, he's made each subdivision double-jointed. 

Intriguing. Perhaps he should teach his opposite self about the arcane, as reimbursement. 

Your tongue licks a hot, slow stripe onto the end of the Machine Herald's thumb, and he breathes a half-sigh, half-huff, causing smoke to pour from the sides of his mask. 

There's warmth, coming from both of their figures. Just two different kinds of warmth. For the Arcane Herald, it's electric, like stars and static, racing across your skin. For the Machine Herald, it's more stifling, artificial. Like standing over a hot stove. It's the heat of countless individual parts of machinery, internal and external, all working in unison to support his processes. 

And you're starting to sweat. 

"Marvellous," Arcane-Viktor murmurs, oddly inquisitive. "Are they not?" 

Removing his thumb from your mouth, the metal slick with your saliva, the Machine Herald gives a rumbling hum of approval. 

"Yes. They are." 

Your throat tightens, suddenly dry. From above you, the all-powerful Herald of the Arcane tilts his head ever-so slightly, adjacent to an interested cat. He taps his thumb against your puffy bottom lip, as though he's considering repeating the display himself. Lingering residuals of magic thread through you faintly, tingling on your lips with each idle tap. 

When he decides against it, finally letting go of your face, Machine-Viktor is quick to grasp your chin with his Hexarm. Roughly guiding your gaze back in his direction. Selfishly recapturing your attention. 

Unfortunately, your attention is everywhere. It shifts, placed between the budding heat in your body, the weightlessness of your limbs as you're held in place, the press of metal armor to your thighs, the tracing of confident fingertips up your stomach. Your vision blurs around the edges, you can barely focus when you're this overwhelmed. 

Arcane-Viktor's palm is beginning to trace up your chest, and you wonder if he can feel your heart pounding, if either of them know how much you're enjoying this. Surely, they're well-acquainted. They fucking tower over you, and you're bare, you are pliant. For either version of them, for Viktor, you will always be just as they hypothesized. 

Obedient. 

"They are trembling. How curious," The Herald of the Arcane continues, but the deep, confident vibrato to his voice makes you believe your reaction is far from unexpected. "Theoretically, I could imagine this being too much for them." 

"No," The Machine Herald counters, "It is not." 

The Arcane Herald appears to express as much aversion as an unchanging expression is able to. His palm begins to trace back down, this time. With the same slow, methodical movements; possessive, in a way. Down to your stomach, stopping just above your pelvis. 

"You would truly place confidence in their ability to take us?" 

Hands suddenly grasping your thighs tighter, you're pulled closer, unintentionally grinding you against the ridges of his metal plating — you breathe a quick, pleasured noise, your thighs tremor hard, but you know his iron grip wouldn't let them fall — and the Machine Herald practically scoffs. 

"They will take all we give to them. Such is the essence of their potential." 

The Arcane Herald pauses, before he answers, "I believe in your own lingering sentimentality, Machine Herald, you may be vastly overestimating their limits." 

"It is not sentiment." The Machine Herald's voice is level. His thick accent curls around the words, tone rich with a downright ruthless sense of certainty. "Receptors in my central system have been allocated to measure their breathing. The pattern is not one of discomfort. They are rife with… eagerness." 

His Hexarm reaches for your neck, and your head tilts back submissively. As confirmation, your heart skips, your breath catches. Your gaze is heavy and pleading. He squeezes methodically, until your eyes are rolling back, and your arms are falling limp. 

Precise fingertips find your forehead, they muddle your every thought and function as their prying touch seeks to enter your mind. Your thoughts converge into a singular, tightly knit thread, pounding in echoes of pleasure. A hand brushes between your spread legs, finds where you are slick and aching — 

"Viktor-" 

Your voice is weak, desperate, shuddery from the lack of use. 

And to your delight, both of your overseers react. Machine-Viktor gives your thighs a firm squeeze, he caresses your throat fondly. Arcane-Viktor teases you. His fingertips purposefully prod your waiting entrance, and Gods, they feel like magic incarnate. 

They vibrate from the intensity of their own existence. You can feel every thrum, and each lush wave of the arcane, vibrating mercilessly against your sweetest spot. Then, just as you're beginning to believe you could come apart merely from this, his hand is delicately shifting away, and you're left to quiver around nothing. 

"Fuck," You're swearing, "Please- don't stop…" 

The Herald of the Arcane, as though he wasn't just mere moments away from sinking his fingers inside you, replies in a distinctly composed tone. "Humans can be such demanding creatures." 

The Machine Herald nearly sounds annoyed. "You have forgotten our initial objective. We may switch places, if you are convinced you cannot satisfy them." 

"Whatever occurred in your timeline, it is clear you never learned patience. We have time. Our research will prove most accurate when it is fleshed out to its fullest, not when it is rushed. Unless, perhaps you have discerned a solution to getting us out of this anomaly. Do share, Machine Herald." 

Machine-Viktor remains still. Utterly unreadable, as always. 

"Hold them." 

Everything happens so quickly, so flawlessly, you'd almost swear they planned this — Arcane-Viktor takes hold of your thighs, he keeps them spread while he leans your body against his chest. And Machine-Viktor grasps your face, squeezes your cheeks, his leather glove rough against your chin. He's so close, all you can see is the orange of his makeshift eyes. Bright and intimidating, clouding your view with polychrome shapes, like if you were to glance at the sun for too long. 

His touch is distinctly different, it is steady, resolute, determined. A single thick, metal finger drags through your arousal to first get the steel slick, and then he is pressing it inside; you can feel every small joint and deliberate ridge as he fills you. One of his manufactured digits is essentially the equivalent to three of yours. 

You're left to weakly slump against his copy, completely at his mercy as he fucks you open, completely at their mercy as the two of them watch you attentively. Focused on the way his digit disappears within you, how your chest heaves as you gasp and whine. 

"This is not enough stimulus," Arcane-Viktor ascertains. Matter-of-fact, his echoing voice perfectly stable. "Their thoughts are still clouded. Preferably, we would want them- their mind, and their body- to think only of us." 

"Not enough? I thought you believed they could not handle us both." Machine-Viktor scoffs. 

It's a challenge. An analytical assumption, and if his copy is anything like him, he knows it's a notion they'll enjoy deciphering. Together. With you as the subject. 

"Well?" The Machine Herald hums, "Are you willing to put your hypothesis to the test?" 

[osamucide]

NSFW—MDNI

boyfriend!Toji who swears he’s out of the game. he’s done the thing, got married and had a kid—when he starts dating you he promises himself it’s for companionship purposes only. he’s a lonely old man; he wants someone to fuck on, someone to kiss at night, someone to fill a certain void he’s got trouble placing let alone admitting to himself. you make him feel young and hot—the way your fingers creep up the faint trail of hair on his toned stomach, the way you lick his pecs and suck on his nipples and draw sounds out of him he’s not sure he’s ever heard before; you beg to ride his toned abs, beg to hump his muscular thigh, beg to squeeze his big ol’ tittes because the more of him to love, the better. not soon enough, it seems, it’s you begging him to fuck his fat load into you with his even fatter cock—you’ve got your hands on his abdomen, his hips, his chest, not pushing him away but pulling him ever closer, wanting to feel him, more, more, more; you want as much of him as you can get.

only when he’s fiancé!Toji does he really realize what you’re doing—you’ve done some sort of witchcraft on him. you’ve had to. no matter how much he hits the gym, he’s filling out in ways he never thought he would. you notice, too—but it doesn’t seem to bother you. quite the opposite, actually. when he turns to the side in the mirror, analyzing his gut—all the beer must finally be catching up to him, or maybe it’s your cooking—you just wrap yourself around him and dig your fingers into the layer of plush forming around his waist. the pretty little rock he put on your finger glints in the mirror and steals his attention for a second until you’re burying your face in his shoulder, your hands dancing beneath the waistline of his sweatpants—beneath his tummy—to tease the thick bush you insisted he stop grooming so vigilantly because you don’t mind, you had said with a hint of something else behind your coy smile. you hum as you take in his smell, grin as his cock twitches to life between your fingers, laugh a little when his back arches the slightest bit into you.

husband!Toji’s aware of what you’ve done, but he loves you too damn much to care. all of his musculature is soft and full, no longer hard and sinewy, and he’s never clean-shaven. you even implored him to let the tuft of hair on his chest—the one he was so unsure about—sprawl across his (now squishy) pecs and you just bask in him. you take your time with your husband—you bite the stretch marks on his biceps from his years of training, now cracking further, prettier, pinker under your hand. you grab on his lovehandles while you ride him—there’s far more room to dig your signature in with your nails after you’ve fed him so well. you bury your nose in the thick happy trail on his cute, round stomach before you suck him, seemingly worshipping every hair on his pelvis prior to taking him in your mouth. his fat balls seem bigger, saggier—you love fitting your lips around them, hearing him croon and call you dollface. his thighs, still strong but fluffier with both hair and chub, squeeze your head so lovingly when you go down on him; you squeeze them back with just as much adoration.

it’s no wonder Toji let you pull him off the bench. not only does he still feel young and hot, despite everything he thought would go out the window the second you started making him pasta in exchange for your orgasms and begging him to stay home and cuddle instead of going to hit arms—he feels okay with getting old, because you still think he’s the hottest man you’ve ever laid eyes on as long as you’ve got all of him to love.

[doiliedaze]

All Night Long

Warnings: high sex, eating out (sev receiving), orgasm denial, soft dom! Sevika, sub! Reader

Genre: smut

A/N: obviously I’ve been having Sevika brainrot but I want to write a softer Sevika so here you guys go hope you enjoy it…I also have been thinking about eating her out so that’s what really fueled this lol. Reader has braids in this, you can imagine any style or length!!

───────┈ · ·

You only get high with Sevika, it’s the best experience! You’re cozy in the bed with pre-rolled blunts. She got rose petal papers like you asked, your argument that it makes it more smokeable!

Needing to be close to you, Sevika wrapped herself around you and lit the blunt for you both. “Please remember don’t let the blunt tunnel!” She sighs. “Shush and gimme” you say with a big smile.

You place your glossed lips on the blunt and inhale. Your not new to blunts but you suck on the inhale so you prefer edibles.

Wanting to be a tease you lean your head up and blow the smoke in her face causing a small smile showing off her gap teeth.

The blunt was passed and movies were watched. You press your back into her chest and play with her fingers. Your minds are hazy and you can feel her relax against you. “Vika?”

“Mhm” she rubs her face against yours and squeezes you.

“Lay back for me please”

“Yes ma’am” she says slyly

Your tummy tightens just hearing those words.

She lays back for you and pulls you onto her hips. “Strip” you said in unison and laugh. You place your forehead against hers and whisper an I love you.

Her soft lips reach yours and slowly the giggles turn into moans.

Your fingers rub on the outside of her boxers feeling a wet spot. “Already?”

“Shut up” she snorts then moans as you bite her neck.

Your kisses trail down her body and you kiss her happy trail. She ties your braids back so they’d be out your way. “Thank you lovely.” You say with a smile as you pull down her boxers and attach your mouth to her clit.

As you lick and suck on her clit you push two fingers inside her fat cunt slowly pumping in and out.

“Look at me baby” she says shakily.

You do as you continue your movements. Sevika caresses your face. “My girl is so beautiful- fuck.” She moans closing her eyes as you bite at her clit then kiss it. Her pussy is dripping in arousal and already swollen.

She starts to grind against your face wanting friction. “Stop for a second.” Sevika says catching her breath. Her pussy is pretty sensitive and the weed wasn’t helping so her thighs were already shaking.

Sevika guides you to lay down and she sits on your face. You grip her toned thighs clawing at them a little as she lowers her cunt.

She presses down to make sure your slightly suffocated, “fuck such a good girl f’me” she slurs as her hips bounce back and forth.

Your mouth was engulfed by her pussy your tongue was thrusting as much as it could. Your main goal is to please her the best way you can and if that means she rides your face all night long so be it.

───────┈ · ·

A/N: one more fic then I’ll give y’all a break from my constant posting lol

Taglist: @manfuckthisimout @bambishaven

(Dividers- @dollywons)

[miraclewoozi]

SPECTACLE. -j.ww

in which your new boyfriend, wonwoo, doesn't give a crap about his expensive eyewear.

pairing : wonwoo x fem!reader. content : smut. pwp. tags under the cut. MINORS DO NOT HAVE MY CONSENT TO INTERACT. w/c : 2.7k. notes : yeah i kinda. went insane over this idea. so. bon appetite to you, and also to wonwoo ? i guess.

content + smut tags : established - but new - relationship. making out. FACE SITTING. impact play? (one gentle butt slap). the shenanigans are on a couch if that matters, i don't know. reader is a little shy about doing it. PLEASE let me know if i've forgotten anything.

Wonwoo looks flushed when he pulls away from where he’s been kissing and nipping at the side of your neck, hair stuck up in every direction thanks to your tugging fingers and your gentle guidance to help him find your sweet spots. His lips are pink and a little plumped. His glasses are steaming up, sitting halfway down the bridge of his nose, and every slightly heavier breath he takes makes his broad chest rise and fall where it’s pressed wholly against yours.

You can’t help yourself from leaning forward into another kiss; he’s completely irresistible. Maybe the most handsome man you’ve ever seen. And while this isn’t really news to you, the dynamic of your relationship with him shifted a month or so ago and you’re still getting used to the privilege of seeing him this close up. 

He’s still adjusting too, if the way he groans directly into your mouth, hands groping harder at the curve of your ass as you shuffle in his lap is anything to judge by. Still learning, still figuring you out. But – and this is how you know what you’re building here might be the real deal – even when it’s clumsy, and when you knock teeth while you’re kissing and burst into slightly pained giggles, or when things accidentally slip out of place while you’re getting steamy… everything Wonwoo does makes your spine tingle. Makes your stomach flip. Makes your core throb. 

Even when it doesn’t always work? It makes sense, and it’s perfect, and losing yourself in the way his lips caress and worship yours is so damn easy when he murmurs your praises just for letting him do this in the first place.

“Will you do something for me?” He asks after a small forever, pulling back just far enough that he's not breathing up your nose. His hands have made their way under your – his – hoodie now and he’s grazing his fingers over your ribs, tickling enough to make you whimper, not enough for you to want to swat him away.

You think you’d give him the world if he asked for it in that deep, rough voice he adopts when things start heading in this direction. The moon too. Shit, if you could get a lasso around the sun and bring it closer to keep him warm, you’d do that as well. So, whatever his little request is now, you know you’re going to agree; resting your hands on his shoulders (finally leaving his gorgeous hair alone), you lean back from him and nod your head.

“Anything,” you say. You’re certain that you feel his cock twitch in his sweatpants where it’s pressed against the inside of your thigh, but you’re not quite sure why. 

It makes you feel hot, though. More-so when he bites back a grin, lips curling in that adorable way. It feels greatly unfair that you can’t swoop down right this second to kiss him again, and again, and again; as painful as it is though, you do exercise enough grace to wait for him to come out with it.

“Get up,” he says softly, dropping his hands down your sides and squeezing at your hips once. 

You do as he asks and move off his lap, sitting on the other side of the couch; he doesn’t say anything else as he stands up himself, pulls his hoodie off over his head and tosses it to one side before sinking all the way down to the floor. You raise an eyebrow at him, but he doesn’t see you. He shuffles into place with his back against the edge of the seat and only once he’s comfortable does he turn to look at you over one shoulder, grinning brilliantly.

“Okay,” he says, bending his knees and planting his heels into the floor. “Come here.”

You stand up off the cushions now and look down at him for a second, wondering what on Earth is going through his mind, but you know better than to start questioning his strange ideas. Especially when he’s in this sort of a mood. You step over him, one foot either side of his hips, and start to drop down too, but he puts a hand on each of your knees and stops you before you’re in his lap once again.

“No,” Wonwoo says, shaking his head. His hands then make their way to the backs of your thighs and he pushes forwards, trying to guide you where he wants you. Your knees bend of their own accord and press against the couch on both sides of his head. “Like this.”

You don’t exactly freeze up, but it is as if you forget how to control all of your muscles for a second. The ones in your legs seem to turn to jelly and you know it’s only because the sofa is currently taking a portion of your weight that you don’t buckle completely and fall onto the top of his head. The ones in your face give you a slack-jawed, wide-eyed, unblinking expression. 

Your abdominal muscles tighten and your cunt flutters at what you’re sure he’s trying to suggest, the rush of wetness you feel only worsened by the intensity in his eyes as he tips his head back and looks at you.

“Please?” He asks, all sweet but deep and rough at the same time. 

“Are you s–?” You start to ask. 

Wonwoo clicks his tongue at you and tries to encourage you further onto the couch to prove his point. “Yes,” he says, nodding eagerly. 

And then, just so you really can’t mistake what he's asking for–

“I want you to sit on my face.”

Your entire body heats up at how bluntly he says it. You squeeze your eyes shut and bite the inside of your cheek so that you don’t accidentally laugh with the nerves already trying to burst out of your tummy. 

It’s not that you don’t want to. If you had a penny for every time you’d thought about him giving himself up for your pleasure this way, you’d be rich. You do. You’re going a little crazy just imagining how good it’s going to feel. 

It’s just that him being so bold about it has you feeling shy, and that’s never happened to you before. You’re at a loss. You’re totally stumped.

When you open your eyes again and look down at him, Wonwoo is just as earnest and hungry for you as he was a few seconds ago. If anything, it’s as if he wants it more. It’s without a doubt the hottest thing you’ve ever seen and before you can talk yourself out of it, you’re nodding at him; his fingers start to drag up and down the backs of your thighs happily, before they hook under the waistband of your shorts and gently make that first little pull.

“If you don’t like it, we can stop,” he says to you, only pulling them all the way down when you start to help him. They get tossed over to the side to join his hoodie after you step out of them. His eyes glance to the panties you’re wearing – the last barrier, the final thing keeping him from what he’s so desperate for – before he looks back at your face and flashes you a smile. “Just tell me, okay?”

“It’s not that,” you laugh softly, taking off your own jumper and throwing it onto the pile. Wonwoo groans at the sight of you; you roll your eyes at him. “You just… took me by surprise.”

“Good,” he sighs, wrapping an arm around one of your legs and letting you settle onto your knees in position over his mouth, pressing his fingers into the top of your thigh. 

The first soft press of his lips over your panties makes you gasp and you hold a little tighter onto the back cushions as you look down at him. His eyes are closed already as he breathes your heady scent in, deep enough to hopefully stain his lungs, enough that he’ll never get rid of it, that he’ll be able to carry you everywhere he goes. 

But Wonwoo’s closed eyes aren’t the only thing you notice between your thighs and a soft laugh replaces the pleased sounds already spilling from your lips. One hand drops down to where he's settled and your fingers brush against his temple as they try to pinch at one side of his glasses. He looks affronted when he catches your gaze.

“What’re you doing?” He asks, gently moving your hand away. 

You tilt your head at him. “Your glasses,” you prompt, moving to reach for them again. His fingers curl around your wrist and he shoves your hand into his hair instead, rubbing the tip of his nose against the inside of your thigh.

“I want to keep them on,” he tells you.

“What if they break?”

“Don’t care,” he hums, kissing his way back towards your covered pussy. “I’ll buy a new pair. I just wanna see you.”

You swallow at this and decide that you’re definitely not going to try and change his mind, instead choosing to tilt your head back and let his skilled tongue work you up through your underwear. It’s a mess of arousal and spit and they’re soaked, translucent, clinging to you by the time he’s frustrated with them; frankly, so are you, and it's a relief when he concludes that enough is enough.

“Baby,” he groans as he pulls your underwear to one side and has to crane his neck up to lick the flat of his tongue in a stripe up your slit. You whine, the cool air and his hot breaths a menacing mix of sensations, but you don’t have the sense to respond; one soft slap of his hand against your ass makes you look back down at him, though, and you’re met with dark eyes, flushed cheeks and a practically frenzied Wonwoo in the space between your hips. Your sweet, softly spoken boyfriend is nowhere to be found.

“I said, sit.”

His strong arm tugs you down and your knees slide against the cushions, bringing your pussy even closer to his face, literally forcing you to rest against his lips. He chuckles triumphantly and buries his tongue between your folds, tasting you so much more legitimately than before. The way he loves – straight from the source, the spring. You feel him prod at your hole and your walls clench around what he gives you – barely just the tip, but it’s enough to have you reeling already, and when his other arm hooks around your other thigh, when he starts to move you back and forth, you take very little convincing to start to rock your hips down against him on your own.

“Oh,” you whimper as his lips seal around your clit and he sucks at it once, giving a few experimental flicks of his tongue at the same time. The hand in his hair tightens immediately and Wonwoo groans with you still in his mouth, sending delicious vibrations through your sensitive nerves and making you gush onto his chin. 

“So fucking pretty like this,” he tells you, stroking his thumb over your waist. “Might be my new favourite view.”

He keeps lapping at you teasingly, testing circles and sideways motions, precise swipes, long drags; every subtle change as he tries to find what makes you scream in this position draws a different sound from your throat. He tenses the muscle and fucks your dribbling hole with it while encouraging you to move enough forward that his nose bumps against your clit with every jerky rock of your hips. You’re grinding faster, now, pressing down against his mouth harder, caring less by the second about whether his glasses are actually going to break in two. Besides, the way he drinks you down tells you that he could do this for a week straight without getting tired; he doesn’t want you to stop, or slow down, or ease up. He wants more. And if you’re too shy to give it to him, he’ll just take, take, take.

“Just– oh, fuck,” you gasp as his tongue finds your clit again and he laps at it with so much zeal that he could rival your favourite vibrator. “Just like that–”

Both of his hands grasp you tighter, squeezing and massaging and kneading at your soft skin as you chase your high on his pretty face. His eyes are tightly closed in his own rapture, and you hope that he won’t blame you for wanting him to open them; your hand pulls harshly at his hair again, hard enough to make him cringe, enough to make him stop for just a second before he sees how wound-up you look. You try to pull off from him a little, at least enough for him to catch a couple of breaths, but Wonwoo captures your pussy between his lips before you even hear him inhale.

“You– you wanted to s—see me,” you stutter out as the fire starts to catch and you feel warmth and ecstasy start to build at your core. “Fuck– ah–”

So he does. With big, hungry eyes, Wonwoo watches as you hurtle towards oblivion, as you writhe and squirm and grind down against his ardent mouth.

He sends you crashing over the edge with a wet sob, your own eyes closing now as you see stars in the darkness and ride your high out on his still-moving tongue. There are tears on your cheeks before you can do anything about it. Your walls spasm around nothing. He barely slows, taking back enough pressure so that your pleasure doesn’t turn to pain. He’s pretty sure he doesn’t even blink until you’re out the other side of your climax, though.

When your pants start to die down and you’re twitching to get away from him, so sensitive that even his tiny kisses make you shudder, Wonwoo drops his head back down to the pillows and wipes at his mouth with the back of his hand. You don’t have the strength to move yet, still reeling, still too floaty to try for any level of coordination, but he doesn’t mind. Your swollen, glistening pussy right over his face is something he'd pay millions to see.

“Didn’t even break the glasses,” you laugh weakly once your voice decides to come back to you. 

“Mm,” Wonwoo hums, sliding them off his nose and inspecting them. He ‘tsk’s before putting them back on. They’re steamed at the edges and a little smeary now, and he surely can’t actually see that clearly through them. He obviously doesn’t care. “That’s not good enough.”

“Huh?” you ask, moving carefully so as not to plant your knee into his jaw but still trying to bring your legs together so that you can sit to one side. He isn't having it, though, and slowly shuffles up onto his knees, turns around to face you and lays his fingers on one of your ankles, wasting no time in trying to pry your legs apart again.

“That’s. Not. Good. Enough,” he repeats, using his other hand to palm himself over the fabric of his sweatpants. The tent in them would be comical if it weren’t for the animalistic look in his eyes; there’s nothing laughable about the way he’s looking at you right now, though.

“So what are we gonna do about it?” You ask, opening back up for him and not hiding how you stare as he rips his shirt off over his head. Then, he slides his fingertips up the inside of your calf, to your knee, down your thigh… he drags them over the lips of your pussy and collects a little of your slick on them before bringing his hand to his lips and sucking it clean.

“I’ve got a few ideas,” he tells you, groaning at your sweet taste as if he wasn’t just drowning in it a minute and a half ago. He lowers himself until he's once more level with your cunt and guides both of your legs over his shoulders, smirking up at your expectant face. “Maybe try to squeeze your thighs a little more this time. See if that does the trick.”

thank you so much for reading!! i hope u enjoyed this hehe. as always, likes, reblogs, replies, feedback and asks are always super appreciated.<3

[l3viat8an]

Beel brainrot he’s such a big big softie and I love him because of that but he’s also a cocky shit and just HUGE his shoulders and BIG hands he can lift you like it’s nothing no matter how much you weigh and he takes pride in that. But more then anything he loves that whenever you’re near him, you just seem so small and the way he’s cannon had you sit on his back so he can do PUSH-UPS HE IS SO JACKED AND I NEED HIM CARNALITY.

Feeding my own size kink I fear 😣

Beel brainrot is some of the best <3 he’s just so big ‘n fuckin’ hot!!!

And!- and!!!- just imagine being at the gym with Beel! you’re there to ‘spot him’ drool over him <3

He’s all sweaty, his tank top is sticking to his chest when he asks you to help with his next set!! It’s adorable how eager you are to help~

Beel sits on the floor in-front of the bench and pulls you down into his lap, facing away from him and at the huge gym mirror -fuck you really do look small in his lap- you hear Beel say something about how he wants to work on his core strength- and he tells you, you’re the perfect wight for a quick warm up!!

Making sure you’re as comfortable as you can be, he starts hip thrusting up into you…..it’s a little clumsy at first, so naturally, Beel puts his hands on your hips to keep you steady ofc.

When Beel’s done playing with you- warming up he sits there with you in his lap for a minute….he leans down to press a few, quick kisses along your flushed neck, before he makes eye contact with you in the big gym mirror and winks, “Wanna help me in the shower?”

[wh1sp3rr]

hate sex with arkham knight!jason

ೀ masterlist ೀ requests ೀ

he’s so mean and mocking, has you pinned to the wall, hand shackling your neck, your head getting fuzzy and your vision going blue.

feels like ur on a drug, chasing that high more and more with each thrust he gives you. he’s got this sexy half-smile half-smirk thing going on, and he’s sweating so much, it slicks his hair back and makes his curls wet with it’s salty sheen: sharp glisten as they bounce up and down every time he moves.

you can barely get a word out, feel the sentence bubble up in your throat for what feels like hours before you finally manage to hear it vocalise and ring in your ears, each word cut off by a hiccup and jason’s still so cocky and mean but also tender, wipes the corners of your eyes, likes to see the mascara smear on your face and his thumb, before cradling your face and shutting you up with a kiss. lips soon swollen and eyes wanton.

“you talk too much.” he’d simply say to ur desperately and pathetically feeble attempt at dismissing the eye rolling feeling of his dick so deep inside fucking you so good rn.

before you manage to say anything he shushes you and puts a hand over your mouth, “thereee. that’s betterrr.” he’d coo, feeling you drool from the inside of his palm.

“fuckin’ horny bitch. didn’t realise you wanted to be fucked this bad.”

he kisses your cheek. barely sucks the flesh when he lets go. “jesus fucking christ. god, look at what you’re doing to me—fuck.”

his forehead leans against yours, his voice now quiet and whispery, sounds almost like a whistle, “wish you’d said something earlier. telling me i could’ve fucked you months ago?”

you give in, eyebrows crease and u nod your head with a muffled cry. he laughs, mimics your nod and says through a broken chuckle, “yeah? i could’ve? tell me i could’ve, baby. tell me i fucking could’ve.” he removes his hand. waits for your response, though his hips don’t stop.

he gets impatient, watches at how you look down shamefully, slaps your face a little to get you to look at him, “come on.”

miserably and moaning you bite your lip—a sort of nervous panic and tell him what he wants to hear, “you could’ve fucked me forever ago. anytime you wanted.”

he gets so hard. like, way harder than he already is and he connects your lips again, both pleased and amused then compliments you so sincerely, almost to himself, “so fucking fine.”

© WHISPER 2K24 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

[minnixiii]

me to SHOTA AIZAWA 🤭🎀

[heart-of-the-morningstar]

Lucifer: Sweetheart, I'm absolutely famished, can I have something to eat? 🥺

You: Oh, alright. *Sits down on the bed, spreading your legs*

Lucifer: Oh, golly, my favorite!!!

[fettuccin-e]

It's About Power, Baby

Kinktober Day 26: Face Sitting

Tags: Marc Spector x Reader, afab!fem!reader, cunnilingus, face riding, subby!Marc because he needs to be dominated because I said so (w/c: 903)

A/N: A short lil drabble for some of my late Kinktober stuff. I am a firm believer in switch!Marc okay. He likes when a woman takes control because no one marries Layla El-Faouly without being a little bit of a sub okay, I'm right and you know it!! (For Kinktober I've been using these prompts from flightlessangelwings!)

There’s just something about it that drives Marc fucking wild.

It’s something about the way you grind onto his face, gripping hard into his hair as you chase his tongue and dig your clit into his nose.

It’s in the way you taste, warm and musky and so fucking good on his tongue. He aches to have you like this, begs you for it, even though he never really has to beg for anything.

You can't say you understand it, but you certainly can’t complain when he pulls you down to his mouth, licking into you like he wants to drown in your wetness.

The first time you did this, you’d been so nervous, hovering lightly over his face and refusing to let your weight rest on him.

“Marc, I’ll crush you,” you’d said, swaying slightly on your knees as Marc grazed his hands up your thighs.

“You won’t, baby, promise,” he’d murmured. “C’mon, just relax. I’ll make you feel so good.” He’d nipped lightly at your inner thigh, and you’d moaned softly.

“I have no doubts about that, I just don’t want to kill you with my pussy, Marc.”

“But what a way to go,” he’d breathed, almost dreamily,  and you’d wanted to smack him. But you couldn’t, you’d barely had a chance to breathe before he was using his strength to pull you down to his mouth.

And fuck, if you had known how good it would feel, you would have smothered him with your pussy without a second thought. It’s so different like this, the way you just let gravity do the work for you, spearing yourself deep on Marc’s ravenous tongue.

He moans loud when you rest your weight on him, the folds of your cunt spreading apart on his face and making a fucking mess, dripping down his cheeks, down his chin.

His nose digs into your clit so perfect, so right from this angle, and you can’t help it when your hips twitch forward, grinding into it. His thick fingers dig into your thighs hard enough that the tips of them turn white, and you’ll probably find dark bruises later from the strength of his grip.

But it doesn’t matter, not at all. Not when Marc groans into you and sends vibrations reverberating up your spine, and your hips twitch forward again, dragging your slick pussy across his face.

“Fuck, oh my God, Marc,” you whimper, and Marc only answers with a moan, his tongue working against your dripping entrance, drinking you in. A sharp grind of your hips into his face makes you cry out, your hands snapping forward to grip onto the headboard.

There’s a heady sense of control that flows through your blood, making your mind hazy and the feeling of his mouth against your cunt so much more electric.

“It’s so fucking good like this,” you whimper, your hips twitching instinctually to rub Marc’s nose back and forth against your throbbing clit. You should let him breathe, lift off of him so he can suck a substantial breath into his lungs, but you can’t fucking stop. You can hear movement behind you through the rush of blood in your ears, and glance behind you. The sight nearly makes you black out.

Marc’s hips undulate into the air, an obscene tent in his boxers as he humps into nothing. He licks into your pussy as his cock searches for friction, desperate and needy and so fucking hot you could cry.

Marc is a man who doesn’t like to show weakness, but this? This is clear as crystal, the way his eyes flutter shut as he savors the taste of you on his tongue, the way he needs you so badly he fucks into empty air as you sit on his face like a queen. Marc Spector is not a weak man, but God, he is weak to you.

The knowledge that you are the only one who knows him like this, to have this kind of power over him, makes your head spin.

“You’re so fucking hard, Marc,” you whisper, and Marc grips onto your thighs like a fucking lifeline, whining beneath you. You reach a hand down to curl your fingers back into his hair, rocking your hips into his searching tongue. “Make me cum and I’ll ride you so hard you’ll see stars, baby.” You feel him nod between your thighs, moaning softly. 

Marc tilts his head up beneath you to suck your aching clit into his mouth, and you nearly scream as he throws you over that edge, soaking his face as you tremble and clench above him. 

You practically stumble away from his face as he continues to lick at your overstimulated entrance, pulling back to sit on his stomach. You watch with wide eyes at the way his chest heaves, how he licks at his lips and tastes the cum you left behind.

He lifts his head to look at you, a blush high on his face and his mouth shiny with your slick. He looks fucking ruined and oh so gorgeous.

He sits up on his elbows, wordlessly asking for a kiss, which you gladly give him, even though his lips taste like you. 

“My turn,” you murmur, grinning against his mouth, and Marc’s chuckle quickly morphs into a moan as you squeeze his neglected cock. You smile.

He looks pretty damn good at your mercy like this.

[nateezfics]

and some people actually think this man is a sub??? oh no no. that’s a whole dom right there! that’s captain!

[qupidology]

Of all of the GOM you’d think that Kise would be the most gentle in bed. From the way he interacts with everyone with a smile on his face and in such a sweet manner you’d really think he’s the type to kiss you sweetly as he’s fucking you nice and slow.

But no. Kise is the type of man who wants to see tears running down your face, makeup ruined, and choked noises between a moan and a sob leave your mouth as he drills into you so fucking deeply you think he’s bruised your cervix. He’s the type of man to choke you with one hand as his lips are next to your ear whispering the filthiest words.

And even when you’re crying about it being too much and you can’t go anymore he’d just roll his eyes at you while he goes on for the ninth round that night. And don’t even try blacking out on him because he’ll make sure you’re awake enough to feel him fuck his kids nice and deep into you. And if even after he’s slapped your face a few times telling you to keep your eyes open you can’t, he’ll grip you by your chin, his golden eyes burning holes into you and say, “Either keep your fuckin eyes open or we’ll make a movie for you to watch later on. I’ll even invite my teammates over to watch too so they can see how much of a slut you are.”

[doiliedaze]

Breathe in, Breathe out

Domestic! Sevika x reader

Warnings: suffocation training ☺️↕️ size kink kinda, pussy slapping, think that’s it!!

Genre: smut

A/N: when I tell y’all I got myself a little flustered cause I need her so bad🙏🏿 reader is a bored bimbo housewife 🫶🏿

───────┈ · ·

You love trying new things, so when you’re cooped up in the house and Vika isn’t there you do everything! You cooked, re-organize, touch up your nails, have a fashion show for the cat, imagine Sevika fucking the shit outta you.

You being you, you love pushing your limits. You try to handle everything she gives you but damn near tap out everytime she choked you so tonight you’re gonna practice till it’s perfect.

When Sev arrives home, you do your usual greetings, kissing by the door, showing off that you’re wearing just her shirt and talking her head off as you follow her around the cozy apartment.

Watching her shower was enough to get you wet but it wasn’t about that tonight. She knows your stares and she can always read what’s going on in that little brain of yours, “what’s my girl thinkin’ about mhm?” She says softly as she steps out the shower.

“Nothing Vika” you whisper as you play with your ring.

Her naked form walks over and places you on the sink counter. Her buff arms on either side of you. “You okay baby?” Sevika’s eyes flicker with concern. You rub her face, “I’m fine I just…Sev can you build my tolerance?”

Embarrassed and not wanting to explain yourself you play with the plush of your thighs. Heat seeping into your face and you’re glad she can’t see it.

Her hand tilts your chin and her eyes tell you to continue talking.

“Y’know how whenever you choke me I can never handle it? Well I want to so I thought maybe if you like trained me I could handle it!”

She snorts at your explanation causing a whine to come from your lips.

“You’re so dramatic, how long did it take you to muster up the courage to ask?”

“Longer than I’d like to admit…”

To reassure you, Sevika kisses you softly. Y’all lips moving in sync, and she pries your legs open. Instinctively you take off your shirt and press yourself against her.

She tries to pull away from your lips, eager to keep her tongue down your throat you bite her lip hard causing a shaky groan to spill out the taller woman’s throat.

Your clit throbs in want so you move your hand off her bicep to touch yourself when she grabs your hand. “Not tonight.” You pout at this but you listen.

Sevika let’s go of your hand trusting her wife to obey her command. Her metal hand wrapping around your throat and her eyes asking if this is okay and you nod.

The cool metal starts to add pressure around your neck causing you to sit up some. You close your eyes and steady your mind as you’re already getting overstimulated. To ease you Sevika leans back in and kisses you.

You spread your legs further for her, in the process knocking things over. Your wet cunt presented for your beautiful wife. She slaps it hard causing a jolt in your hips and a moan to escape.

Her grip on your neck has tightened ten fold and you’re feeling pressure that’s slightly uncomfortable but beyond pleasurable. She’s splitting you open in a way. She plunges two thick fingers into your eager pussy, and tongues you till drool trickles down your chin seeping into the valley of your breast.

Her eyes evaluate if you can handle more and before she can pull away and ask you nod as much as you can.

With that she applies more pressure in her grip around your neck, you scratch at her bicep, digging in deep to drawl a little blood. A weak moan came from you, motivating you to continue. Your free hand travels down her body and you strain yourself to play with her neglected clit. It is protruding and pretty, always wet for you.

You scoot closer causing her fingers to go deeper into you just so you can slip your fingers into her fat cunt. Her grip and movements stagger as she shakes, she’s a quick to cum when you touch her.

You try to build another orgasm in her as you feel her pussy pulsate around you but her fingers pump faster as you shake and arch off the sink and into her. Your orgasm crashes over you and you choke as you try to moan.

Sevika let’s you go and pulls away from your grasp as you both catch your breath.

There’s cum down the both of your legs, chests heaving and saliva everywhere. You look up at her and brokenly say, “round two?”

───────┈ · ·

A/N: this is actually my favorite outta everything I wrote!! Got myself a little hot and bothered lol!! Enjoy lovelies🫶🏿

Taglist: @manfuckthisimout

(Dividers- @dollywons)

[ssamilf]

argue with me. - b.e. smut

g!p, fighting, rough sex.

970 words.

go check out my fic requests :)

|

|

|

|

|

"you can't go wearing that!" billie yelled.

"what's the matter with my outfit? are you calling me a whore?!" i yelled back from our bedroom. i was so fed up with billie at the moment. she's never cared about what i wear and how i present myself. why now?

i stand up to look in a mirror. i was wearing a lace crop tank top with some low waisted sweatpants. i hadn't even got my shoes on before billie started complaining about my outfit. what was her problem? sure, i had a lot of skin revealed but i've wore something like this before out in public with her. im so done with her right now...

billie's pov:

"what's the matter with my outfit? are you calling me a whore?" i could hear y/n yell. oh my god. why did this turn me on? i could feel myself getting hard. i started up towards our bedroom. i stop and peeked through the crack in the door. i see y/n get up and look in the mirror. oh god. did my words hurt her that bad? i could feel myself get even harder as i stared at her. fuck, now is not the time for this.

"y/n?" i say as i actually enter the room. she looks furious. "what, billie?" she aggressively said. i feel myself turn red. "mhm? tell me billie. what is it?" she says in the same tone. i could feel myself twitch. my breathing quickened up. "i'm sorry." that was all i could muster out. i needed her so badly.

y/n pov:

"that's it? you're just sorry? no i'm gonna need to hear more if you want me to take care of that.." i quickly looked down at her boner. i wanted her so badly. even though i'm so mad at her. i take a deep breath and look her dead in the eyes. "billie. talk to me." i walk up to her, standing right in front of her. "i'm sorry y/n." she goes to grab my waist but i quickly slapped her hand away. i give her a piercing stare. "please y/n. i need you so badly. it's starting to hurt..." she whimpers out. i felt myself getting wetter as she begged for me. i couldn't take it anymore as well. i roughly pin her against the wall, going in for a even rougher kiss. i quickly pull away for a second. "we're gonna do everything i want. do you understand me? do you?" i dominantly said. she silently nods. i continue the kiss, eventually leaving deep hickeys and bruises all over her neck. i bite and suck at her neck as rough as i can. i hear her whimpers and sobs. i could care less. "what? what is it? can't take it?" i pull away, looking her back in the eyes. i notice tears forming from the pain. "please y/n..." a few tears fall down her face. "take your pants off." i commanded. she quickly slipped her pants off, revealing her boxers. she was so hard. "the boxers as well." she does the same thing, this time revealing her huge dick. precum dripped off of her. i get down on my knees. i lick her tip. she whimpers once more. i smile as i slowly start to stick all of her in my mouth. she moans as i start bobbing my head up and down, letting her hit the back of my throat.

i feel a familiar warm liquid hit the back of my throat. "fuck..." billie moans out one last time. she walks to our bed and lays down. she tried to steady her breathing. "i'm sorry. really y/n. i just got super jealous. that's doesn't excuse how i acted." "that's what i want to hear..." i say as i now join her in bed. even after all that she's still hard. i turn around and decided to sit on her lap. "what do you think you're doing, love?" she whispers into my ear as i lean in closer to her. i quietly giggle to myself and start to slowly start to ride her thigh. her dick twitches. "y/n... stop." i stop and get slightly concerned. billie starts to laugh. she turns me around to where she's on top. "billie?" i ask her, trying to sound serious. i feel her tip at my entrance. "just because i'm sorry doesn't mean i'm still not mad." she says before roughly entering me. i let out a loud moan. "billie! fuck..." i say. she aggressively starts thrusting in and out with no mercy. i start loudly moaning, even screaming billie's name as i got closer. i could feel a familiar wave of pleasure in my stomach but also pressure on my bladder as i got closer. "billie.. im gonna... fuck!" "shut up. i know." she aggressively said. as soon as she said that, my liquids were everywhere. i could hear billie giggle. she continues on, well after i finished. i start shaking. "billie..." i whimper out. she continues, only making me shake more. "billie!" i scream as i felt a second orgasm hit me. as a new wave of pleasure hits me, i could feel billie getting closer. soon after, we both cum. i could hear billie's deep moans. she pulls out soon after, causing me to feel empty.

"mhm maybe i should get you riled up more often." i say i as i try to stand up.

"maybe you should lay back down, you're not gonna be able to walk for awhile." billie said in a joking tone.

she was right, i was sore

[01zfan]

argue with you pt. 3

valedictorian!eunseok x debate leader!reader | 17.9k words

the long awaited part three. i hope the actually insane word count makes up for how long i kept you guys waiting heh. thank you again for 1k and that you for support the argue with you series. i love you guys so much. i hope you guys enjoy!

ALSO HAPPY BIRTHDAY EUNSEOKKKK

argue with you: one | two | three

contains: no content warning enjoyyyyy

you haven’t been the best leader of your team lately. in your defense, you may have been too hard on yourself. in fact, if you were to ask anyone on your team about your performance as a leader this season they would only say great things. besides the fact that you seemed distracted. it had gotten to the point that your team had exhausted every synonym of the word during the season.

when you’d mess up calling out events you were preoccupied. when you had to correct wrong information you gave to your teammates you were inattentive. when you would lose your footing and almost trip over nothing you were absentminded. it had gotten to the point that the only time you weren’t flustered was when you were debating. 

they didn’t blame you for seeming distracted. your team came to the conclusion all on their own that you were constantly thinking about your last competition season and how the stakes were raising with each win. they believed you were stressed and felt the pressure for your team to perform well. no one knew the real reason, why your mind seemed to be in a million places at once. when you weren’t debating you were thinking about your debate partner and what you two would do when you were alone. when calling out events you would see eunseok’s name written beside yours on the clipboard and lose track of your thoughts. 

at first your dirty mind would drift to what he looked like on top of you at the previous competitions when he’d sneak into your room after light’s out. you mind would force you to remember how foolishly adamant you were about not fucking in missionary. you thought about how once you started, you couldn’t go back. you lived for each competition not just to debate but also for what you knew was coming each night. either one of you would give your secret knock on the others door after the competition to be let in instantly. in the beginning you two would act only on carnal desires, taking off clothes and clashing teeth before stumbling onto the bed. you two barely spoke in the beginning besides teases and taunts, or the occasional that feels good and right there’s.

as the season progressed the air around you and eunseok changed. the desire was still there, in fact you believe it started to burn brighter than before. sometimes it felt like you were on the verge of combustion, especially when the sun would set on competition days and the anticipation started setting in. but as you started being around eunseok more and more you would see his name on the clipboard next to yours and think about how soft his hands always were and how he started looking at you with so much care. you starting thinking about how much eunseok was beside you at school now, walking you to your classes and sitting at your lunch table. he always made sure to get you the food you liked in line so you could get an extra serving.

when you tried to give pointers to your teammates you started thinking about how both you and eunseok started helping eachother in regards to debate. you would accidentally give your teammates tips that helped the enemy team while you recalled eunseok showing you how to sway the lay judges, teaching you how to convey confidence through your body language and tone. you learned then that eunseok was shyer than you. he was an extreme introvert who just so happened to have an aura people were drawn to. 

the same way he taught you, you gave him pointers on how to save an argument that seemed unsalvageable. it was run-of-the-mill stuff for you, but each tip you gave eunseok’s eyes would focus and he’d nod his head eagerly. it was the same head nod he’d give you in bed when you told him to touch you a certain way or the nod he’d give when you started losing your ability to speak. 

clumsiness wasn’t something that you struggled with before eunseok. but when he was close, you felt yourself tripping over nothing, foot catching on air or something that wasn’t there. eunseok was no better, sometimes stopping for no reason while passing by you. he let his head follow you down hallways and across stages, always stopping mid sentence. he left his friends wondering what he was looking at and your friends would joke that you wore shoes a size too big.

everything was easier when it was just sex with eunseok. you two had set rules aside, a shared google document with a million codewords that could not be cracked by the average person. it was written meticulously, never openly saying the word sex and posing the rules in debate format. it was excessive, but necessary for your peace of mind. your teammates and sponsors often asked for you to share documents with them and the thought of accidentally sharing a document with them that had the logistics of your sexual arrangement with eunseok made your heart drop. you even considered making a whole new email just for the document, but eunseok convinced you it wasn’t necessary. you both compromised by wording the rules in a way that would confuse anyone so immensely they wouldn’t even bother trying to decipher it. eunseok found himself reading the manifesto—the name he came up with—shaking his head as he tried to understand what you were writing on the other side of the screen. 

many rules on the manifesto were broken pretty early on. you two actually had to start writing in the margins to keep track of who was breaking which rules. 

eunseok was the one who broke the rule of no kissing. before you two hooked up for the second time, you made a point to stop his lips from touching yours. who broke the rule was decided after a heavy debate between the two of you. you argued that because you were the one who first denied kissing eunseok it made no sense that you were the one to blame for breaking the no kissing rule. eunseok argued that you only set the rule so it could be broken. he also made the point that no kissing wasn’t in writing when he kissed you. it was arguably a moment of weakness for him, lost in the moment when you emerged underneath the sheets after sucking him off. eunseok saw the spit in the corner of your mouth that you wiped away with the back of your hand, and the glassy look in your eyes that told him you pushed yourself a little past your limit just to make sure he felt good. you gravitated towards towards him like a dream and something came over him when his two hands pulled you in for a kiss. eunseok withheld the fact that you only hesitated a moment before kissing him back, and how quickly you took control while kissing him. you were riding his thigh while he pulled you in closer, and you started whining when he put his tongue in your mouth.

but whoever it was—it was eunseok—was long forgotten. because now you guys kissed without having sex, sneaking away to another storage closet or empty classroom to suck on eachother’s faces. eunseok always would pull away from your lips with a smile on his face one that told you he knew how happy you were that he broke the rule.

you’re able to admit that you were the one who broke the rule of no missionary. you still remember which debate it was. it was a day that challenged you as a leader and debater. everything seemed to go wrong—your team arrived late due to a pileup on the freeway, two of your teammates forgot their uniform, and you were going against the same team that beat you the year prior. you hated being frazzled by things you couldn’t control, unlike your debate partner that let the problems bead and fall from his body like rain. the circumstances and stress of the day made you a terrible debater. you stumbled over your words and rebuttals caught on the tip of your tongue. nothing helped when you saw a smirk on your enemy teams lips, knowing that you were lost. for the first since becoming a debater you felt like you were the worst in the room. you found yourself looking to eunseok in between the breaks. each time he gave you a look that urged you to relax you felt more tense. by the end of the debate you were completely leaning on him and were avoiding the looks of your teammates that had come to watch. 

you were shocked when you and eunseok won the debate. afterwards, you learned the two of you won by the skin of your teeth. you found out after the fact that extra points were rewarded due to eunseok’s confident body language and cracks he exposed in the enemy teams arguments. 

you felt like a shell of a leader when you stood beside eunseok to accept your medal. it was all the same to your team, a win was a win no matter how it was awarded. but you felt awful. it was the first time you failed so miserably, and the first time you didn’t take the lead during a debate. you smiled through the photos while you felt a rock forming in your throat. it unsettled you immensely, and it made you hyperaware that you could no longer have days where you didn’t perform like a future finals winner. you immediately took off your medal after the last camera flashed in your face. you disappeared from your celebrating team for the rest of the day, avoiding calls and texts about lunch and dinner. any selfishness you felt for hiding in your room boiled down to anger and shame for your terrible performance. you were stuck on an infinite loop, recalling the way you choked on your words and feeling the hot light from the stage beat down on you. the sweat rolling down your back made you uncomfortable as you failed at defending your argument. you planned on being completely alone to ruminate on your mistakes when eunseok showed up at your door. he was apologetic even though it wasn’t his fault with food in his hand even though he had already eaten.

the argument that followed eunseok coming to your room unannounced was inevitable. you don’t know why you were so angry, or why eunseok kept a cool head the entire time. you had tired yourself out thirty minutes later, the truth came to the surface after eunseok gave you a surprisingly warm hug. your combative nature that was fueled by your lackluster performance as a debater and leader was extinguished when eunseok started rubbing your back. you bit back tears, and anymore arguments melted in your throat while you slumped into eunseok’s arms.

eunseok then comforted you the only way you’d accept it at the time. he touched you gently where you needed it most and wherever you told him. he made sure you didn’t have to lift a finger, taking off your clothes with gentle and steady hands. yours were still shaking from the adrenaline when you laid down on the soft sheets of the hotel bed and kept pulling eunseok’s body up until he was hovering over you.

“can we do it like this tonight?” you asked him quietly. 

you could barely hold back your tears when eunseok nodded and caressed your face. you felt hot tears slide down your cheeks when eunseok kissed your forehead tenderly while he slid in. he was gasping at how you felt around him while you let out sounds of your own. he whispered in your ear about how great of a leader you were until you were a whimpering mess underneath him. eunseok was slow and deliberate the whole time, and held you close as you came. when he looked at you in the eyes and kissed the tracks of your tears you couldn’t stop the raw emotions from taking over your body. you held eunseok even closer while you cried from stress of the season and the conflicting emotions you were feeling for your fuck buddy. 

you two never spoke about that night but something changed again. you found yourself more distracted than ever before. it was dangerous how often you were thinking about eunseok even if he was right beside you. your mind often started thinking about holding his hand in public and kissing him outside of the bedroom. you would think about seeing him after the competition, and how missionary was your position of choice with him now. 

despite your mind being somewhere else all the time, it wasn’t an issue. no one was bothered by your aloofness as long as you were focused for the debates; and you were. you had led your team to the finals, only two people on your team didn’t advance. the achievement was unprecedented for your school and you were hailed as an exceptional leader for securing funding for future seasons. your wins showed the school board how successful the team can be.

the grant that was given to your team was something to celebrate. the school board came to your final debate meeting, congratulating everyone for a successful season. your teammates looked to you when they awarded the team a grant. the money would be used for better hotels, official uniforms, and better transportation. it was one of the biggest grants awarded in the history of your school, and it was a cause for celebration. that’s why you were hosting an all girls slumber party two days before the competition. it was convenient, being able to celebrate and do prep work with the girls on the team and then carpool to the school together to get to the buses. it was one of the few strokes of genius you had as leader as of late.

the girls on your team enjoyed it immensely, being able to chat and go over the highlights of the season. you tried to be as present in the moment as possible, talking and adding on to everything that was said. you were able to give advice to the first years on your team, and metaphorically pass the baton to them, emphasizing the new attention the debate team would have especially if you won the finals. your team nodded at you eagerly, like you were giving them the keys to life. it was hard to understand why your team looked at you with so much respect and admiration. if they knew about your sexcapades of the season—with the person everyone thought you hated nonetheless—you imagined all of their opinions would change. 

you successfully didn’t bring up your arrangement with eunseok, and how all consuming it was. you kept it to yourself, sneaking off once everyone was in bed to think about what to do. you felt creeping anxiety from the looming presence of the most important competition of your life being two days away. your sleep schedule was in such disarray that staying awake through the night was more plausible. you were also afraid of dreaming, scared that your subconscious would make you dream of a medal or a person just out of your reach. you knew you would end up sleeping on the long bus ride to the competition anyway. you convinced yourself it was because of the constant movement of the school bus that rocked you to sleep like a baby and not the presence of your debate partner next to you.

see you tomorrow.

sleep well.

you read the text as you opened up your fridge. eunseok was the one that broke the rule of texting you outside of your hours of operation—during competitions, priority after lights out. you can’t lie and say you weren’t humoring him, texting him back whenever you got the chance. your progression of texting had turned from sparse texts every now and then to full on conversations. you don’t know why some nights you ended up on the phone with eunseok, only talking about debate for a few minutes before going into mundane things. now you were at the point of eunseok telling you goodnight and how excited he was to see you tomorrow.

your eyes stayed locked on the message, rereading the text over and over again until your fridge yelled at you to close it. you still stared at your phone when you went to your dining room with your late night snack. when you looked up from your phone you saw yunjin.

yunjin came into your dining room, wrapped in her night robe. you were annoyed at yourself, not noticing or hearing yunjin come down the stairs. you truly were distracted.

yunjin and you stood underneath the fluorescent kitchen lighting waiting for the other to say something. you shuffled on your feet and yunjin crossed her arms

“okay. tell me.” she said

“i don’t know what you’re talking about.” you said.

yunjin laughed and gave you a dumbfounded look, amazed that you think she’s so stupid. she wordlessly makes her way across the kitchen and sits down with you at the table. you sat at the head, looking down at your hands and yunjin sat next to you, head in her palm while she waited for you to start. 

you took a deep breath, thinking about how you are going to have to write in the margins of your google document later owning up to the fact that you broke another rule. you look at your friend then immediately looking down at your hands again. you clenched your fists and closed your eyes.

“you should get it out before it effects your perfo—”

“i’ve been sleeping with eunseok.” you say quietly.

you swear you can hear yunjin hold her breath. you caught her mind sentence, and you could see the gears turning slowly in your friends mind as she tried to finish her thought and comprehend your words. you look up and see yunjin blink slowly as she processes what you said. she still has the same expression on her face as before.

”what?” yunjin asks.

“i’ve been sleeping with him since the season started.” you repeated.

this time the information sinks in. the same moment a weight lifts off your shoulders you can see it transfer to yunjins. she takes in a deep breath, one that takes in all the fresh air of the dining room. you’re forced to sit in silence and watch yunjin’s eyes go wide. you can see your friend thinking about the logistics of it all, finding the facts and thinking about evidence of fooling around. yunjin lets out the breath. she cracks a smile before looking at your dumbfounded face. it surprises you when she starts to laugh. yunjin’s whole body moves as she laughs, causing her robe to fall down her shoulder.

“i was not expecting that,” yunjin adjusts the sleeve of her robe before raising her eyebrows to emphasis the word that. ”i thought you were gonna say someone was getting cut from the team.” yunjin says.

she starts laughing a little louder, and you also smile at the situation. here you are, two days before the biggest debate of your life and you’re confessing to your teammate that you have been sleeping with someone who you treated like a rival for as long as you’ve known him. yunjin tries her best to wrap her head around you and eunseok, it makes perfect sense but at the same time it doesn’t. 

yunjin shakes her head trying to clear her thoughts.

“is that why you seem so distracted lately?” she asks.

you shrug your shoulders, bringing your eyes to your phone that rests on the edge of the table. eunseok’s text still remains unanswered, sitting in the graveyard of all your unanswered texts.

“i thought it was because of finals?” yunjin says.

“that too. i’m going through alot right now.” you laugh dryly, trying to brighten the situation.

“clearly.” yunjin says.

you let your friend process it even more and sit patiently. you know she’ll begin her cross examination soon.

”are you guys together?” yunjin asks.

you shake your head. 

“are you guys exclusive?” yunjin asks.

you nod your head.

“what are you going to do?” yunjin asks.

that is when you do nothing. it’s a complex question, one that can’t be answered with a nod or shake of your head. it surprisingly can’t be answered with words either, you’re speechless trying to think about what you’re going to do with eunseok when the season ends. you think about how you said to eunseok you’d date him if you won finals. back then, it was a joke and something you said to fill the awkward silence of trying to leave eunseok’s room before you were caught or got to comfortable. at the start of the season it seemed impossible to advance this far ahead. but now it felt like the painful conversation with eunseok was unavoidable. 

looks at her hands resting on the table, twiddling her thumbs before you see an evil smile come across her face. yunjin puts her head on top of her hands and looks at you innocently.

“is it big?” yunjin asks.

she’s facetious and expects you to withhold your answer. yunjin audibly gasps when you look down and smile after nodding your head.

“he knows how to use it too.” you say shyly.

yunjin gasps again and hits your arm playfully. she didn’t know this side of you existed, sneaking around with your debate partner. she asks you about the logistics and you share it all. it’s refreshing, finally being able to be somewhat open about your situation with eunseok. you show her the text messages and photos you ended up taking with eunseok during random moments of your time together. she raises her eyebrows when you insist none of the outings were dates. yunjin secretly hopes that you’ll eventually talk yourself into a hole, and she will be able to nail you with a question that makes you realize your arrangement with eunseok has turned into a relationship. you narrowly escape each of her attempts, pivoting when the conversation starts heading towards that direction.

you also spare yunjin some of the details, not subjecting her to the more intimate aspects of your relationship. you think you’ve said more than enough, and all is understood when you give yunjin the look when yunjin asks a racy question. by the time you’re done, you can see your friend understand your conflict. she brings her hand to rest on top of yours, rubbing the same spot you would mess with when the conversation got too serious.

“you know you’re the smartest person i know, right?” yunjin asked.

you lifted your head to look at yunjin. you shook your head the same way you did each time she told you that. yunjin only smiled before gripping your hand even tighter.

“you’re the smartest person i know. so stop being so stupid.” yunjin said.

when your jaw went slack, yunjin laughed and went back to lean into her chair. you looked at yunjin from your side of the table, feeling like her hand smacked you across the face. yunjin only shrugged, telling you that’s all she had for you.

“just focus on ending the season. everything else will come afterwards.” yunjin said.

you nodded your head and looked down again. suddenly there was a wave of shame again. you felt like curling into yourself, or grip your phone until it cracked. the loose ballast in your ceiling lights buzzed as you and yunjin sat in silence. your phone dinged again, echoing off the walls in the room. you looked to the lit up screen and then to yunjin’s raised eyebrows. 

everything else will come afterwards.

you repeated it like a mantra when you turned your ringer off. yunjin’s face remained neutral, following behind you as you headed back up the stairs. 

yunjin withheld what she truly wanted to say, that she had been covering your trail with eunseok like the good friend she was. each time the nosy freshmen tried to pry yunjin had an excuse locked and loaded for you. yunjin didn’t debate but she was cunning, something your team seemed to forget. so she had noticed the glances and the unnecessary touching and the tension no one else picked up on. yunjin had even caught eunseok walking out of your room. she played dumb, pretending she didn’t see him freeze like an deer caught in the headlights. yunjin instead fiddled with the vending machine for a second too long as eunseok backed into your room, closing the door silently to try and not draw her attention. yunjin will tell you about it one day, a day when you visible look like you can handle it. instead she has to play the role of the nurturing friend, putting a hand on your back as you drag your feet up the stairs.

when yunjin comforts you silently you try not to think about how you broke another rule—don’t tell anybody. it was bolded and in a larger font than everything else. you even had it in all caps on the manifesto, and you underlined to really get the point across. you try to comfort yourself by saying it doesn’t matter, your arrangement with eunseok will be null and void in a few days when the season comes to an end. 

the next morning came slowly. it was due to the fact that you were awake looking at your phone, waiting for the sun to rise so you could wake up your team at a reasonable time. while everyone else snored you used your phone as a distraction to occupy your mind. you kept pulling down your notifications tab, checking to see what eunseok was trying to text you. you refused to clear the notification, keeping it there as some sort of punishment. you had peaked at the notification for the millionth time when your alarm finally went off. 

you wasted no time getting your girls up. you let your obnoxious second alarm clock sound off and watched as more and more of your team were pulled from their blissful sleep. they were groggy, rolling over on eachother looking for the source of the noise. some of them were more stubborn, forcing you to jostle their limp bodies until they came back to the land of the living. 

once everyone was awake you went over the list of toiletries they’d need for the hotel stay and their debate materials needed for the competition. you heard disoriented words of confirmation as everyone loaded their things into your car. everyone was able to cram into two cars that had designated spaces in the staff parking lot. any leftover belongings and your vehicles would be safe and secure for the long weekend. it eased your mind as a leader to give a ride to your teammates, it made you feel less guilty about how irresponsible you were at the competitions. you were able act like the leader you once were by double checking everyones debate material and making sure that everyone arrived to the school on time. by the time your crew arrived to the bus pickup, the whole team was accounted for.

the rest of your team was in a huddle in front of the school. it was the designated meeting place for the early morning competitions. it was easy to leave from the front before the rest of the student body woke up and drove their cars to school. the autumn morning sun looked like it was coming straight from the pavement, blinding everyone as they searched for the bus in the empty parking lot. you blinked and held your free hand to your face, trying to block the sun.

“where’s the bus?” you asked.

the boys of your team turned towards you. they had been busy looking for the missing bus they didn’t see you approach them. your girls trailed behind you, their overnight bags and duffles slung over their shoulders. the weather had just started getting nippy from the approaching cold season, and the bitter looks on your teams faces told you they wanted to be inside of the bus to seek refuge from the weather. 

no one answered your question, even the chaperones that were whispering in their own separate huddle.

your team as a unit were decked in their most comfortable loungewear, sweatpants and sweaters that shielded everyone from the frigid air. some people found extra relief from the wind by throwing on a windbreaker. regardless, everyone acted the same by shuffling on their feet and trying to garner any amount of warmth.

when the whole team was together, the boys instantly merged with your group of girls. everyone greeted and hugged eachother in excitement, happy to get an excuse to miss classes. 

you found yourself feeling apprehensive, searching in the small crowd for a certain face. you looked around with furrowed eyebrows, head moving to try and look through the several mini conversations that was happening around you. you even got on your toes to do a headcount that kept coming up one person short. you looked to the group of chaperones that had separated themselves from the group of students. they were teeming with excitement too, looking towards the back of the school and whispering something along the lines of they have no idea.

you approached the group of parents calmly, adjusting the strap of your duffle bag.

“have you seen eunseok?” you asked your sponsor.

before your sponsor could answer, their faces lit up. at the same time you could hear the exclaim of your teammates, some of them even letting expletives slip out. you turned around immediately, having to adjust your eyes to the sun that shined in your face.

when you held your hand up to your eyes you got a clear view of the spectacle. you saw a mini-coach bus come around the back of the school towards your group. the bus pulled up to the curb, stopping right in front of your team. it was sleek and luxurious, the exact opposite of the dingy school buses you took to previous competitions. everyone was in disbelief until the bus opened its doors.

your team looked towards you, as if it was your doing. you had the same shocked and wide eye expression when you turned towards the chaperones. they had big smiles as they approached the bus.

“us and your co-captian pulled some strings for the final competition of the season.” your sponsor said.

before you could ask how, your team erupted in cheers. you don’t think they reacted this positively to anything the whole season. when it was announced your school would advance to finals, the blood left your teammates faces. they had blank expressions as your school was called out, no one cheered or made a single sound. you could’ve heard a pen drop in the room, the only sound coming from the sparse courteously claps from other schools. but now your team was hollering and jumping around, throwing their large duffles into the undercarriage storage so they could rush onto the bus.

the bus jostled slightly as people filed out. you had to tell your team to slow down to let the people off first and to not crowd the entrance. you were more stern than you should’ve been, their reaction for some reason left a terrible taste in your mouth. you understood the excitement regardless, this was the first time your team had been given such an amenity. the hotels was the bare minimum, and most of the funds for your overnights stays were crowdfunded by your team. this was the first time you had seen something so nice that didn’t come out of the pockets of your teammates.

you were staring at the door of the bus, strap of your backpack clenched in your hand when eunseok finally filed off. it caught you by surprise, seeing him come out in between the extra bus driver and the principal of your school. he waited in the folding doors of the bus for just a second until his eyes found yours. you smiled and lifted the hand that was holding the strap of your bag. it was weird waving hi to him, like you two didn’t know the other would be here. regardless, eunseok did the same and shyly lifted his hand in greeting. he forgot about the people behind him trying to get off and the people in front of him trying to get on. eunseok suddenly snapped his head backwards when the principal pointed forward. he hastily got off the bus, almost missing the space between the curb and the last step of the coach bus. 

eunseok floated through the crowd towards you. you were lucky that the exhilaration of the future competition and the luxurious accommodation occupied your teammates thoughts. they didn’t notice how eunseok approached you nervously, or how he stuck his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants when he realized he had nothing to say to you. you shifted in your slip-on shoes and adjusted the bags hanging off your shoulders. it was going to get painful soon carrying all of this weight.

“did you get my text?” eunseok asked.

he didn’t have a backpack on to grip nervously. he was forced to face the situation head on, looking at you right in the eyes. you think he would’ve ran his hand through his hair if he had the chance, but the strands were tucked into the beanie he wore. eunseok looked more comfortable than you did, sweatpants and a matching sweater with a jacket vest over it. 

you knew that eunseok knew you purposely ignored his text. after talking to yunjin you took her advice to try and ignore all of it, focusing on the competition you had tomorrow. eunseok was your debate partner before he was a distraction, but it was getting hard to distinguish the two. 

you nodded your head to his question, and he didn’t say anything else after. you let your confusion turn into anger about the bus situation. your mind quickly evaluated the situation, filling in the blanks to help you feel like your anger was valid. you had already felt like you were failing as a leader, eunseok had to have known by the way he comforted you. maybe eunseok purposely left you out of the loop because he knew you couldn’t handle being the leader anymore. you let the thought sink into your mind more. the irrational part of your brain overtook the rational side and you felt your fist clench at your side. you let your emotions run rampant for just a moment before trying to reel them in. it was no use, strong emotions bubbled in your chest that pulled you away from looking at eunseok.

the two of you stood side by side, silent as the rest of your team mingled and talked about the naps they were going to take on the way to the competition. you turned ever so often to see if eunseok was still beside you. he reached for the bag on your shoulder and you moved away from his hand. you saw yunjin looking back at you as she got on the bus, and you quickly looked away. eunseok noticed something between your glances and backed off immediately. he went on the bus behind anton, and you were left alone to put your things in the undercarriage. once everything was inside you took a moment, looking at your things resting beside eunseok’s. you took a deep breath and slammed the undercarriage closed before getting on the bus. 

when you got onto the bus, the chaperones filed in behind you. you took attendance call, reading the list of your teammates names. every name rolled off your tongue easily, until eunseok’s got caught in your thought. it was there like water that went down the wrong pipe. it was a second of hesitation covered up by a small cough but it felt like everyone knew something was up. your mind came up with the scenario that in under six hours yunjin told everyone on your team that you and eunseok had an arrangement of sorts. it made your eyes stay stuck on the attendance list and it made you tap your pen against the clipboard anxiously. your mind somehow turned it into another reason to be mad at eunseok. 

you sat next to him with your arms crossed as the principal gave your team the worst pep talk you’ve ever heard. your crossed arms tucked further into your chest as he spouted out nonsense. there was no way this was the same principal that gave speeches to the football team. your team clapped simply because it was over as the principal walked off the bus. the chaperones were confused as well, sitting in their seats as the bus driver pulled off from the curb.

the bus ride to the hotel was surprisingly smooth. this was due to the fact that you guys got an actual bus built for comfort as opposed to the school buses you took to previous competitions in the season. once you hit the open road it was soothing with the working air conditioner and screens that were embedded in the seat in front. you were out like a light once you put on your music. you think you went to sleep extra fast because it gave you a reason to not talk to eunseok. 

you don’t remember what you dreamed of, all you remember is that you woke up to him. just like he always had, eunseok lifted one side of your headphones once the bus came to a complete stop. you jolted awake, sitting upright from your resting position that had your head leaned on his shoulder.

“we’re here.” eunseok said gently.

he must’ve woken up recently too. eunseok spoke to you in the same groggy voice he had when he’d ask you not to leave his room. you don’t say anything to him, only stretch and stand in your seat to look at your team.

they get up slowly the same way you did, stretching in their comfortable seats and taking their headphones off their heads. they seem infinitely more comfortable as opposed to the stiff seats of the bus. no one complains about their back hurting, or how bumpy the ride was. everyone seems refreshed as your sponsor speaks first, coming back to the bus after leaving to the front office. she goes down the aisle handing out keycards with the numbers written on them.

“boys are staying in buildings across from the girls. dinner is waiting for you guys in your room. lights out is immediate.” she finishes handing out the keycards and stands in the front of the bus. “competition is early morning so try not to stay awake for too long. call if you need something.” your sponsor says.

you team is still waking up and grabbing their things from the overhead storage. the other chaperones file off and line up people’s things from the undercarriage storage on the paved parking lot. your sponsor looked to you, offering for you to speak but you politely shook your head. anything you said to your team would go in one ear and out the other—everyone was extremely exhausted. you didn’t have half a mind to speak, and you had an annoying crick in your neck that needed to be underneath the lukewarm water of your shower. you just sat back in your seat as the team filed off back to front. 

you and eunseok were the last ones off the bus. everyone was silent, moving slowly as they absentmindedly grabbed their things. people still yawned and stretched, while others talked about the weird layout of the buildings. the boys and girls buildings face eachother and are only separated by the small parking lot. the buildings could easily be mistaken for two separate hotels if there wasn’t another building at the end. the cool weather was becoming colder as the sun disappeared behind the building at the end of the parking lot.

you focused on the setting sun instead of eunseok who stood behind you like a shadow. he barely gave you any space and followed your every move. when he reached for his bag you prematurely leaped for yours, thinking he was trying to help you. 

the boys headed for their building while the girls went the opposite way. you don’t look back as you head for your room despite feeling eunseok’s eyes follow you as you crossed his path. you follow behind your group, keeping your eyes trained on everything but the world behind you. 

eunseok lingers only for a second before turning to walk to his room too. he turns back once he’s made it to his room to watch you struggle up the stairs. he sees the bottom floor hotel rooms illuminated inside, and the curtains either are drawn closed or are opened by the girls as they settle into their rooms. eunseok sees you find your room, then he sees you walk down the walkway to direct your lost teammates to the correct room. he watches your head go down to read the keycard before nodding your head. he sees you adjust the strap on your backpack, and how the heavy weight causes your body to lean as you get everyone into their rooms. he sees your room light up last only after everyone is safely inside their rooms.

eunseok keeps the number on your door at the forefront of his mind. he remembers the number as he eats his cold food, and when he’s in his cold shower. he remembers your room number as he checks the delivered messages on his phone, and he remembers your room number as he recalls the way you’ve been avoiding him all day. 

eunseok stares at the drawn curtains directly in front of him as he absentmindedly chews the gamy and cold chicken. he sits in near darkness, only thing illuminated the silver platter in front of him is the moonlight that seeps through the curtain and the dim glow from the hotel rooms across the parking lot. progressively more and more lights turn off across the way and the night begins to set in. by the time eunseok is done eating he can barely see the plate in front of him. he leans forward until the tips of his fingers grasp the corner of the curtains. his body nearly falls off the bed as he uses the last of his momentum to flick the curtain open. he sees your room light still on, calling him like a moth to a flame. 

eunseok sees the light in your room and he swears he can see your figure through the curtains as his fall back into place. he sits in the silence and darkness of his room for a moment, listening to the clock tick and the sheets ruffle underneath his body. it’s not long before he gets up to dress himself in all black and heads for his door.

eunseok knew that when your rooms were in separate buildings, it was more risky. more often than not, your rooms would be no further than the end of the corridor. on one occasion, your two rooms ended up being side by side, only separated by a corner in the hallway. eunseok ended up breaking a rule that night when he asked you to stay the night in his room, cuddled with him underneath his sheets. eunseok remembers seeing you write his name in the margins on the manifesto, then after a brief pause you put yours there too. 

following that, it got harder and harder for eunseok to not beg you to spend the night with him. once he discovered how pretty you were in the morning it was hard to live any other way. eunseok still believes he had the best sleep of his life that night with your chin tucked underneath his head as he held you close. eunseok found himself subconsciously keeping track of your breathing, matching his chest raises to your breath that would fan his chest. eunseok wondered if you struggled with not having him beside you at night, or if you sat on the edge of your bed hoping the distance of the two rooms would keep him away.

if he had any pride left, he would’ve avoided you completely due to how you were acting towards him all day. but eunseok is nothing if he’s not a man of his word. you two made a binding contract that eunseok planned to abide by. even if the feeling he got from you on the bus ride was strange, it wouldn’t deter him. this was possibly his second to last chance to ever be with you again—he’d be damned if a little walk across the parking lot kept him away from you. so eunseok put on black head to toe and left his room, carefully opening and closing the door so it wouldn’t make a sound.

you sat on the edge of your bed looking at the door. you had been pacing around since you got here, adjusting the temperature in the room a million times before settling for something that was a little too cold. when your body was finally tired, and your mind was drained from overthinking you let yourself try to relax on the couch. then you got up and moved to the bed—then to the couch again. you found yourself finding comfort based on your relationship to the door. it was a restless feeling that started in your feet and worked all the way up to your teeth that picked at your nails. the only thing that pulled you from your full body jitters was a quiet knock on your door.

your head instantly snapped towards the source of the sound, and your body froze. you still had the tip of your thumb pressed against your teeth when you heard the knock again. you stumbled over your pacing feet to get to the door. you pressed your hands against the wood, and put an unclosed eye to the peephole. 

you saw eunseok standing on the other side of the door. he stood there patiently, the opposite of you. when it was you knocking on eunseok’s door you were constantly looking to the side to see if anyone would come out paired with a million texts to eunseok’s phone. he was so patient it almost made you sick—like he knew you were going to let him in. you thought about leaving him out there in the cold. you could tell him the next day you went to sleep with the lights on, or that you were too busy focusing on the competition. but when eunseok looked at the peephole, it felt like he was looking right at you. your hand reached for the doorknob and before you knew it, eunseok was in your room again.

he stood next to your doorframe, moving out of the way so you could close the door. when it was just you and him, it was alot harder to ignore the elephant in the room. it was right next to eunseok when he sat on the couch and looked at you.

“why have you been avoiding me all day?” he asked.

eunseok’s superpower was confrontation. it used to be yours too, but when it came to eunseok it seemed to be your biggest weakness. when he brought up problems between the two of you with ease, it made your heartbeat too fast and it made your face too hot. you looked past eunseok to look at the thin pasty white curtains that hung behind him.

“i don’t know what you’re talking about.” you say. 

your words are anything but convincing. eunseok scoffs before leaning further into your couch. 

he makes himself at home in your space, moving his arms to rest on the back of the couch. he messes with the lamp on the table beside the couch, forcing you to stand by your bed in silence. the only thing you can hear is the machinery of the lamp click and you’re forced to stand there with your own thoughts. when the setting of your lamp is changed to the dimmest setting, eunseok looks at you again.

“do you want me to leave?” eunseok asks.

you can see him clearly, even if it is almost completely dark the hotel room. eunseok looks a little nervous himself, like he is expecting you to say no. but you haven’t been able to say no to him in a very long time. so you shake your head, still standing in the same spot on the carpeted floor of your room. 

eunseok’s arms fall from the back of the couch and go to his black sweatpants, mindlessly soothing out the ripples of fabric. when his hands reach his knees he brings them back up to rest on his thigh. he looks down at his pants only for a second before looking at you.

“want to come over here?” he asks.

when you nod, eunseok reaches a hand out to you. you try not to approach him too quickly, letting your hand fall into eunseok’s outstretched hand as you walk to stand in front of him.

when you stand in front of eunseok, he sits upright to bring his back away from the couch. he looks up to you, and you can see his eyes shine. even in the dimly lit space of the couch you can see how they scan your face for expressions as he brings his other hand to your body. one messes with the bottom of your shirt while his other hand wraps behind the back of your legs bringing you closer to him. when you’re pulled forward by his arm, you place your hands flat on your shoulder for stability. 

you let eunseok lift up your shirt and kiss the skin of your stomach. he looks up to you before placing each kiss, and you tilt your head back to stare at the popcorn ceiling of the room. you count each bump of the ceiling, and you can feel it coming closer to you the more eunseok sucks and kisses the skin of your stomach. when he presses teeth to your skin your whimper is quiet, and eunseok brings your closer by the back of your legs. he pulls away from your skin to blow cold air on the forming marks. 

he picked up the nasty habit of leaving hickies on your skin in places no one else could see. it was one of the few rules he abided by in the manifesto, and he took full advantage of it. his favorite place was on your hip bones and along the line of your waistband. it had gotten to the point he would just be leaving marks on top of already discolored skin. each time eunseok pulled away, he had a look of pride on his face. it was sick, but it was a perfect metaphor for your relationship. something only you two could see, but so easily exposed if you wanted it to be. you felt something similar to eunseok’s sick pride after eunseok would leave and you had the chance to examine the purple and deep crimson marks.

eunseok started to mess with the waistband of your pajama pants. you pulled your head from the ceiling to look down at him. eunseok was already looking up at you, messing with the waistband again until you got the hint. you nodded your head and helped eunseok pull your pants down your legs. when the loose fabric pooled at your ankles, and you stepped out of them. eunseok looked at your naked bottom half, and used his hand that played with the bottom of your shirt to run a line from your thigh to your heat. when you sighed and leaned further into him, eunseok grabbed a hand full of your ass. he spoke into your hot skin as he left a light bite on your stomach.

“take off your shirt, baby.” he said.

you obeyed immediately, taking your hands from his shoulders to take off your shirt. you took off your bra too, throwing it somewhere behind you. you let your hands go back to eunseok’s shoulder, and he reached a hand up to grab your chest. 

too many times did you end up completely naked for eunseok while he remained fully clothed. there was something people called men like him. it was a name you only let slip out a few times when everything got to be too much.

“are you nervous for tomorrow?” eunseok asked in between kisses.

your hand that grabbed eunseok’s hair the same way he grabbed your chest loosened. when you stopped your movements he did too, looking up at your with confusion.

“the competition?” you asked.

eunseok laughed before nodding and going back to kissing your skin. you continued to rub your hands through his hair, trying to think about what happens tomorrow. whether you win or lose, you had something arguably even more daunting waiting for you after the fact. you were going to have to talk with eunseok about whatever this was, if it was more than love bites or only two people acting on carnal desires. you two were going to have to make a decision to either continue seeing eachother or to let the moments you two shared end with the final competition. you don’t know what scared you more.

“i don’t want to think about that right now.” you said.

eunseok placed one last kiss right underneath your bellybutton, letting his bottom lip graze on your stomach as he looked up at you. you felt his index finger tease your clit before he brought two fingers between your folds. your hand that was on eunseok’s shoulder tightened.

“what do you want to think about?” eunseok teased.

you could feel his fingers prodding at your entrance. he was so close to being inside of you that you debated on grabbing his hand and doing it yourself. but eunseok knew what you wanted, he always has. so all you have to do is whimper and lean your head to the side before he pushes his fingers inside of you. 

“just keep going. please.” you sigh.

eunseok only hums before going back to sucking on the skin of your body and fingering you. it’s slow and deliberate, when he bends his fingers inside of you it causes your body to lean forward into him. your weight slowly pushes his body further and further back until he is leaning against the back of the couch with his face pressed into your stomach. eunseok uses his free hand to guide your legs to straddle his hips until you are on the couch with him. 

you let your body become pliable to eunseok. you let him guide you down to the couch without a second thought, driven purely by the building tension in the pit of your stomach. you wished it had remained like this through the entire season, none of the feelings get involved. but something about the way eunseok touches you feels better than meaningless sex. when eunseok lets his head rest on your chest you pet his head tenderly. the gentle touches and whimpers wouldn’t be possible if you two still only acted on carnal desires. you just wish you could have both without the feelings.

“so wet.” eunseok says.

his head still rests on your breasts as he continues to finger you. he’s off in is own world now, feeling your slick between his fingers. each time eunseok has the chance to lie with you he is distracted by how ready you always are for him. it distracts him so much that he almost doesn’t notice the way you preen your chest further into his face, trying to get him to suck on your sensitive nipples. 

“want me to suck on them?” he asks.

you nod and continue to pet his head. your pace increases as his hand inside of you increases too. he plays off of your pleasure and desperation, how you can barely speak when you get close. each time you have sex with eunseok it feels like years have passed since you’ve been touched. it makes you equal parts sensitive and whiny. you are a mess when eunseok looks up at you from the valley of your breasts with a grin.

eunseok takes your breast into his mouth. he lets his tongue peak out, laving the area that isn’t in his mouth. his mouth is wet and warm, and you can his smooth teeth graze your sensitive nipple. your lean over eunseok’s head from the sensation, holding onto him tightly as you try and hold yourself together. you don’t know why you’re so close so quickly, but you can already feel the telltale signs of your approaching orgasm.

“eunseok.” you quietly cry out.

“hmm?” he hums around your breast.

eunseok knew you were close. it was getting harder and harder to keep your thighs apart, and your hole was sucking in his fingers and clamping around them tightly. he had to keep your spread by a handful of your ass, and his fingers were thrusting into you with such speed it made your chest jump.

“i’m gonna cum.” you whine.

eunseok detaches from your breast. the cold air hitting your wet skin makes your nipples harden even further. your grip on eunseok’s shoulder is tight, and you have stopped petting his head to grab a handful of his hair.

“i got you.” eunseok says.

you let go of his hand to pitifully paw at the waistband of eunseok’s sweats. he pauses fingering you, shocked by how desperately you reach for his sweats. eunseok can feel himself throbbing against the thin fabric when you look at him with blown out eyes.

“take your dick out.” you say.

your voice is not nearly commanding as you wish it was. it’s still breathy and high-pitched as you come down from almost finishing. eunseok grabs a handful of your ass to lift both of you up slightly from the couch. it’s just enough for eunseok to push his sweats down for his dick to spring free. eunseok’s hard dick barely has enough time to slap against his stomach before you bring your body down to grind against it. he has to tuck the bottom of his shirt underneath his chin to get a better view of the way your hips move. he watches you in awe, alternating between where your bodies meet to your serene face. your eyes are hooded, and your bottom lip is pouted as you chase after something more. 

eunseok’s hands go to your hips, forcing you to slow down. you try but fail to overpower him, and your bottom lip juts out more as you whine in eunseok’s hold. he smirks, and places a quick kiss to your pout.

“you want my dick that bad?” eunseok taunts.

“so bad.” you answer.

in any other situation, you would’ve never given in to eunseok’s teasing. but through the time spent with him you realized that relinquishing control to eunseok is the rare occasion in your life where you don’t have to be in charge. with other people it would’ve caused panic and it always led to you taking a dominant role in the bedroom. but eunseok proved to you each time that he was more than capable of taking care of you and your needs. so you answer his taunts and react well to his teasing, because you know eunseok will give you what you want.

when eunseok’s damp hand holds on to your hip while he lines his dick up at your entrance, you shiver. your grip on eunseok’s shoulders loosen and tightens in anticipation. you can feel his hand let go of your hips and dig into the pocket of his pants before putting the foil packet in your hand. you rip open the package with shaky hands as eunseok keeps you suspended above his lap, only to the point where his tip barely pushes into your entrance. when you get the condom out of it’s packaging you drop it into eunseok’s hands. your walls flutter around what you can feel, and you put your head into the crook of eunseok’s neck to whimper quietly.

“please.” you whine.

eunseok hums empathetically while still holding your body in the same place. it isn’t until you sink your fingers into the skin of his shoulders and mutter something that felt foreign on your tongue. you thought it came from your lips abruptly and too rushed for eunseok to decipher. but he understood you perfectly, evident in the way he bit your shoulder before thrusting his hips upwards to you. 

you cried out loud, trying to muffle your voice in the balled up fabric of eunseok’s shirt. his pace doesn’t relent, so different from the way he fingered you at an achingly slow pace. now his hips come upwards earning a slapping sound of sweaty skin making contact with skin. you start letting your hips drop down in tandem with his thrusts, and you can feel eunseok deep inside of you each time you come down. you pant into eunseok’s neck, and he wraps a hand around your back to press your chest into his.

“you’re so tight.” eunseok grunts inbetween thrusts.

“you’re so big,” when eunseok hits that part deep inside of you, your hips falter ”so deep.” you whimper.

eunseok hums again, and his hand that wraps around your back goes to your shoulder to pull you from his neck. eunseok presses your forehead to his, looking deep into your eyes. when you hold eye contact eunseok’s fast pace changes to a slow and deliberate one, repeatedly hitting that spot with deep thrusts. it’s nearly painful, trying to hold back the pleasure that burns across your body. it started in the pit of your stomach and spread like wildfire. the way eunseok doesn’t relent causes you to sweat, even though you stopped attempting to do any work awhile ago. eunseok likes when he brings you to euphoria all on your own, your only job is to look at him with blown out pupils and to kiss him fervently. 

“i love you.” eunseok says.

your hands are on his face, running fingers over his cheekbones when he says it. you could easily say that the declaration slipped past his lips accidentally, or he meant to tack on a compliment about your body at the end like he has done many times before. but eunseok says he loves you and doesn’t stutter, only looking to you waiting for you to say something back. you can’t stop yourself from closing your eyes and dropping your head into his neck again.

“i’m going to cum.” you say back.

eunseok’s hips falter for a moment. he doesn’t pry, or bring your body back to look at him again when he finishes inside of the condom. he only pulls you closer so your chests touch, sticking together from the sweat.

“fuck.” eunseok sighs.

he only has to thrust up into you a few more times again before you have to bite the fabric of his shirt to muffle your moans. you clamp around his dick, and you can feel the fire project from your body to ignite your room. you hold on tight to eunseok, grinding your hips down on him even though your skin already kisses. you hips don’t stop swiveling until your out of breath and you slump against eunseok’s chest trying to catch your breath. he continues to gently rub and pat your back, soothing you back down to earth.

eunseok guides you off his lap to the empty spot on the couch next to him. you sat there, trying to catch your breath while eunseok started touching you again. he started with your legs that were draped over his legs. he started by running light fingers from your thigh to your knees, creeping higher and higher until your body twitched from the sensitivity. after you let out a sigh eunseok moved to your hands. you let him do it, while you tried to think about anything else. while you scanned your room a million times eunseok was busy changing the grip of his hold on your hand and playing with each individual finger. he continued to play with your hands as he cleared his throat to get your attention. you turned. your head that was pressed against the back of the couch turned to face him. he continued to look at your hand when you cleared your throat.

“i’m sorry.” you say quietly.

eunseok doesn’t heed your apology, only shakes his head like he is trying to clear his mind of what happened.

“i was thinking,” eunseok turned to look at you. “when we get back home, i was thinking we could go to that new mini golf place that opened.” he said.

you stopped letting your hand be so pliable. your hand stiffened in his, and your fingers became unbendable.

“the season is going to be over tomorrow.” you said.

eunseok nods. his hands move up to your bicep, running up and down your skin.

“you said if we make it to finals you would consider dating me.” eunseok laughed.

you could tell that he still had a playful attitude as he spoke. when you shook your head though, eunseok’s demeanor changed. his eyes got a little wider, and his hands stopped running up and down your skin. you felt the absence of his touch, and you could feel the air in the room change. it wasn’t warm anymore, and as the loud air conditioner unit kicked back on you felt goosebumps raise across your skin.

“i said that as a joke.” you said.

“well then it was a joke. but now, it feels like it might not be a joke anymore.” eunseok says.

when you sit beside him without saying anything, eunseok’s smile falters slightly.

“you don’t feel the same?” eunseok asks.

“i don’t like you.” you answer.

your attempt to sound lighthearted failed. it came out deadpan, completely void of all emotion. it wiped the smile from eunseok’s face. he detached his hands from your body, and you lifted your legs so he could lean over and pull his sweats back up. 

he got dressed without saying a word, pulling his black hoodie back on as you stared at him. 

”are you really upset with me?” you scoffed.

eunseok not sparing you a second glance made you realize what this was. this would be the second time you have had an actual fight with eunseok. before your arrangement with him it was usually just meaningless bickering, one trying to get on the others nerves. when eunseok would push your buttons back then you thought you were annoyed, but it paled in comparison of what it felt like to actually argue with him. he ignored you always to try and gather his own emotions, but it only made you lash out more to try and get a reaction from him.

“you knew that this was just sex from the beginning.” you said.

eunseok scoffed as he checked his pockets for the keycard to his room.

“you’re not going to speak to me?” you roll your eyes as eunseok continues to get ready to leave in silence. you get up to move behind him as he heads for your door. “you’re overreacting.” you say.

eunseok stops in his tracks and turns around to face you.

“why are you like this?” eunseok shakes his head from confusion before looking to you. “you make everything so complicated.” he says

eunseok putting all the blame on you has you denying your feelings even more. you regress back to the person you were with eunseok in the beginning of the season. you cross your arms in front of your body and tilt your head to the side. you don’t know how to reciprocate the feelings eunseok has for you, or how to comprehend the conflicting emotions you have felt for him for too long. but there’s an innate part of you that knows how to upset eunseok down to his soul. 

“i don’t know what you’re talking about.” you say casually.

every single emotion was firing off in your mind, making your body hot and tense. the question was simple but it made adrenaline rush through your veins. you failed to calm yourself, only becoming more highstrung. no matter if you were angry or sad you always ended up fighting back tears, leaving you confused as to why you were so emotional. you argued with people for fun, why was it suddenly the hardest thing you had to do when it was with eunseok.

when you shrug your shoulders waiting fro a response, eunseok continues to look at you. his eyes search yours before he starts to speak.

“do you just feel nothing?” he asks.

you don’t let your mind contemplate for a second before you give him a knee jerk reaction of a response.

“of course not.” you said simply.

eunseok tried to remain calm with you the same way he did the first time you guys fought. that was different than now, he understood back then why you were bothered. but he didn’t know why you stood in front of him now, with a look of regret on your face as you said things you couldn’t take back. if you just admitted feelings it would be easier, it would feel less painful than everything did right now. but you stubbornly stood your ground, crossing your arms like a child. 

eunseok still felt everything for you when you acted this way towards him, but it didn’t stop it from hurting. seeing you actively deny the feelings you have for eachother caused his heart to sink a little further each time. 

suddenly, it like eunseok was drained of all his energy. his tense shoulders sagged and his clenched fists loosened at his sides. 

eunseok continued to move silently towards your door, and he could feel you still behind him.

“that’s it?” you ask.

the defeated tone in your voice almost makes eunseok turn around. but he is drained mentally, and he can no longer be the only one who lets his feelings be known. he also knows that if he turns around and sees your face, he will have no choice but to fold to you. so he says nothing, and only turns the door of your room quietly. he looks down at the floor by your feet, seeing one of your feet move forward like you are about to come to him.

“i’ll see you tomorrow.” eunseok says quietly.

eunseok closes the door behind him and your air conditioner turns off. now it is truly silent and you are truly alone. you stand there in the spot eunseok left you for hours, trying to think where you went wrong. you fall asleep on the same spot in the couch where you and eunseok laid together.

you completely missed your alarm for the next morning. you hear it going off on your phone in the center of your bed when you were woken up by frantic knocking. it brought you from your sleep immediately, making you shoot up from your uncomfortable position on the couch like a vampire. the pain in your neck followed a second later, and the soreness of your legs came after that. you’re mouth is dry as you look around the room trying to figure out where you are. you still have a headache from crying and you can see the outlines of your teammates as they stand on the other side of your window trying to peer in.

you only had a second to adjust to being awake before another series of knocks came to your door.

“i’ll have to come in if you don’t answer the door.” your sponsor yells on the other side.

you look at the clock near the bed. you are almost late, and you don’t have anything ready. realization hits you like another wave of pain to your neck as you come to. it’s the biggest competition of the season and you aren’t ready at all. your team is waiting for you. you are in this position because of what you did last night.

your hand pulls back the curtain so quickly it shocks your teammates on the other side. they end up leaping backwards, caught off guard by your sudden appearance.

“she’s alive!” you hear someone yell.

you don’t see anyone else after you make eye contact with eunseok. he looks at you only for a moment before casting his look somewhere else. you are stunned to silence, forgetting your voice as you let the curtain cover the window again. you fall over the edge of the couch trying to get to your debate uniform that’s neatly folded on your desk. you get dressed in a minute, and brush your teeth in three. you try to tidy up your hair, giving yourself the chance to fix during the ride to the competition. you trip over your feet as you pull on your socks and your shoes.

you answer the door with bleary eyes and a groggy voice. your team looks at you with wide eyes as you apologize profusely. you fix the uneven buttons on your uniform with all of your things haphazardly tucked underneath your arm. you follow behind our group, trying your best to ignore the worried glances they cast backwards to you. 

you let eunseok take the lead as co-captian for the morning. you used the word “let” loosely. you didn’t get the chance to clear your throat before eunseok was calling out who would be deabting and at what time. you were too embarrassed to take control of the situation. instead you looked at yourself in the camera of your phone while fixing your appearance. while you tried to compose yourself on the bus ride there, you heard eunseok give pointers to anyone who asked. you eavesdropped while eunseok gave the same talking points you gave to him. you tried to seem unbothered each time he looked at you, as if he was waiting for you to interrupt. you only continued to look at your notes, trying not to let the severity of the situation today get to you. you had to compete with everything you had inside of you with someone you were currently fighting with. 

you thought about yunjin’s advice, how she told you to save it until after the competition was over. it was entirely too late now, you were in the middle of dealing with it when your mini-bus turned into the parking lot of where the competition was being held. eunseok looked to you once before taking the lead again, handing out name badges as everyone filed off the bus. you were the last one to go down the seats. you let eunseok put the badge in your hand while you keep your eyes trained on the floor. 

eunseok puts his hands on your shoulders and shakes them gently, the same way he used to do at the beginning of the season. usually you would’ve swatted his hand away, but now you felt yourself yearning for any type of contact with him. so you only looked up, focusing on the way eunseok’s lips moved as he spoke to you.

“we will do well.“ he said simply.

before you could even nod, or open your mouth to thank him his hands were off of your shoulders. he walked past you in the parking lot and you trailed behind him, trying to put the lanyard underneath the collar of your shirt without tripping.

you and eunseok never left eachothers side the entire day, but you continued to punish the other with silence. it was ironic getting the silent treatment from eunseok when you only heard his words bounce through your head all day. they bounced around in your skull on repeat while you sat in the audience to watch eunchae and bahiyyih debate. eunseok and you both nodded at the same time when bahiyyih nailed the opposing team with her refutation and when eunchae projected her voice not just to the lay judges but to the audience as well. you were both beaming with excitement at the future of your team, smiles that were wiped off your faces when you both made eye contact.

eunseok telling you that you would do well was echoing in your mind as your breath caught in your throat outside the room you would be having your debate. you were in the same loop you were always stuck in before going into the room. pacing back and forth, using your fingernail to floss between your incisors. nothing brought you from your trance, not even eunseok looking at you with so much worry as he leaned against the wall. everything only made you feel worse, and you had to clear your mind by breathing in and out deeply. 

when the assistant to the judge came out, you turned to look at eunseok. he pushed himself up from the wall, and ran his steady hands down your arms. he blew warm air on your cold hands and rubbed them together to create warmth.

“don’t worry about anything else,” he put your unclenched hands back at your side. “you came here to debate. so lets do that.” he said reassuringly.

you nodded your head and licked your lips. for the second time that day, eunseok let go of you before you could tell him to keep touching you. he fell back right before going through the door, letting you take the lead. 

when you go through the door, the first thing you see are your opponents. they stand tall, and you know they have every reason to. their school has won the finals for the past three years. respect is such a ridiculous thing to talk about, especially when it’s in regards to kids your age who you have never met before. but you feel respect for the opposing team and how they stand tall. you come to the center of the two tables with the other teams leader while eunseok stands behind his chair. you shake hands with your opponent, reading the badge as you agree to debate fairly.

we will do well

eunseok’s words play again and again in your head when you sit at your seat. it finally causes the blaring sound in your ears to subside and your thoughts are streamlined and pieced well together. 

you barely remember debating—it comes and goes and only reappears in pieces. what you remember is looking back to your team in the crowd as they give you a big thumbs up, and how eunseok nods in his seat with confidence as you spoke. you go back to the tips that eunseok gave you, puffing your chest to convey confidence and almost talking smugly. 

when the debate is over, adrenaline has you on your feet for the rest of the day. you don’t come down until the sun does, and just when you think your nerves have settled the time to announce the winners comes. you are alone for the first time the whole day, eunseok is nowhere to be found. you are left to your own thoughts while you wander the halls of the university like a ghost. you aren’t pulled from your stupor when eunchae pulls your hand towards the auditorium.

you filed into a seat next to bahiyyih at the end of the row you intentionally left the row seat next to you open as you looked around for eunseok. people from the competitions were filing in, the auditorium would be full soon. the end of the competitions when they’d announce the awards were always your favorite because it gave you an excuse to look around for eunseok. you were able to hide your need to sit next to him under the guise of having to be next to your debate partner. you never spoke it out loud, but having eunseok next to you calmed your nerves that came with the anxiety of losing. usually you were fine, your skill in the debate room let you know you’d come out on top. you also admittedly enjoyed being the first person that saw eunseok’s face light up each time you were awarded a medal. he was always the first person you turned to, smiling ear to ear as you both got up from your seat. but now he was nowhere to be found and you felt like this was the time you needed him most. the trophy could go to anyone, the debate was evenly matched, sometimes the scale tipped in your favor and sometimes it tipped to theirs. you wanted nothing more than to have eunseok next to you telling you that you guys won. when he spoke about hypotheticals they always came to fruition. 

eunseok came and sat next to you quietly. it was so quiet you didn’t see him, still looking around the room waiting for him to come through the door. when eunseok shuffled in the seat next to you, you were prepared to tell whoever it was that the seat was for somebody else. 

when you turned to see eunseok you were unnerved by how he continued to look forward. he was unbothered by your presence, nearly ignoring it as you sat next to him. it made you even more anxious, getting the serious silent treatment from someone who was usually so playful. you only moved in your chair before clearing your throat, trying to look busy as you flipped through the program. eunseok was his usual self with everyone as they greeted him. you two had to put on fake cheery smiles, laughing along with people and thanking them when they complimented your debating skills. the moment it was just you two though, eunseok would go back to ignoring your existence. the silence made you go through your phone a million times, checking notifications that stayed the same and the weather app that remained unchanged. 

you were relieved when the lights in the auditorium went low and a spotlight shined on stage while the hosts and judges walked out. they came out in a line, holding trophies and a oversized check with no name written on it. you could hear your team surrounding you make interested noises at the check and the trophies. 

“that’s ours.” someone whispered.

“money money money.” someone else said.

your team held in giggles while the host of the competition started the rules and how the winner was calculated. everyone listened on the edge of their seats, waiting for the winners to be announced. you felt nerves of your own, picking at the frayed fabric of your debate uniform. it only got worse as the announcer started naming off categories. string pulled from the stitching of your skirt twirled in your hand, and the sound of it being plucked from the seam filled the tiny space between you and eunseok’s legs. he looked down for a moment to see where the sound was coming from. you instantly stopped, letting your hand rest on your thigh to soundlessly pick at your black tights.

“i’m sorry.” you said quickly.

eunseok looked back to the stage as they announced the debaters for independent events. he said nothing, but he brought his hand that was on the armrest down into the darkness past the seats. his hand settled there for a moment, completely gone in the void of the seats. you thought nothing of it until he brought his hand back up and gently placed it hand over yours. 

you stopped picking at your inky black tights immediately and turned to look at eunseok. his expression didn’t change, and he still looked ahead at the stage, but he gripped your hand a little tighter to let you know he meant it. you instantly squeezed back, letting your clammy shaking hands find comfort in eunseok’s steady hold. anxiety and bewilderment bubbled in your stomach, reaching all the way up to your chest. you tried looking forward at the stage to be nonchalant like eunseok, but your heart was beating so fast you thought it would explode. 

when each winner is announced, both you and eunseok linger to see who will take their hand away first to applaud. sometimes it’s you and other times it’s him, but each time your hands on instinct go back to holding eachother. 

you have a white knuckle grip on eunseok’s hand when the public forum debaters are called. you close your eyes when you hear your name, preparing to let go of eunseok’s hand when the winner is announced. you both only freeze and continue to hold hands when your name is called.

you didn’t expect to hear your two names come through the stage microphone. it took everyone on your team in surprise. you turned down the aisle mouth agape to see your teammates slack jawed too. you turned to eunseok whose wide eyes still looked ahead.

”are you two out there?” the host said jokingly.

yunjin started cheering first, and giselle leaned over bahiyyih to pinch your arm. when you smacked her hand away she pointed to the stage, motioning for you two to get up. you forgot that you had to go onstage, and you also forgot that you were still holding eunseok’s hand. when je got up first from his seat, and the commotion brought everyone’s eyes to focus on him. he held your hand still, so when he stood everyone on your team clearly saw your two hands clasped together. you heard the whispers again, but the blood rushing into your ears nulled every sound. you both looked down at your hands clasped together. eunseok hesitated for a second before letting go, and you quickly pulled your hand down to rest at your side. 

you felt like your face was on fire you followed him down the aisle of seats, with your head hanging as the rest of the auditorium began applauding as well. it started off scattered, but picked up when your team started cheering loudly. the tension in the room raised and the space between you and eunseok felt like a chasm. he let you ahead of him as you approached the stairs. his hand went to the small of your back like it always did when he was navigating through spaces, and you tried not to read too much into it. you instead focused on the sound of your school shoes on the hollow ground of the stage. you focused on not falling, and taking the gigantic check that was in the judges hand seamlessly.

you and eunseok remained onstage as they announced the rest of the winners. it was incredibly awkward, standing up there with a gigantic check in your hands with someone who was essentially your ex. while your sponsor took photos of you two standing on complete opposite ends of the check other debaters came up to you guys. they had nothing to say but praise for your teamwork and the first time win for your school. you and eunseok only nodded awkwardly, while thanking people profusely. your face was burning and eunseok’s ears had become beet red. by the end of it you were exhausted to the point of tears. when your team left the auditorium you handed off the check to your team, letting them take their own pictures with it.

the overstimulation from the awards ceremony made the resolve crumble, your stoic demeanor regarding eunseok was more obvious than ever. it also didn’t help that your team also saw you two holding hands in your seat. they pieced everything together over the course of dinner, some faster than others. by the time eunseok came to dinner everyone knew. it was silent as eunseok walked into the lobby. they watched as your eyes followed him the whole time, and eunseok not sparing you a glance. as fast as he was in he was out, and you watched him like a hawk the whole time. it angered you the same amount it worried you, and your whole team was intrigued. 

when eunseok left it was whispers and rumors for the rest of the night. you finished your food quickly after, cleaning up your area before heading to your own room. 

as you walk across the paved parking lot you look back to see eunseok’s room. it feels like it’s miles away. the curtains are drawn and the lights are off, unlike the other rooms of your teammates. you’re sure festivities will be happening all night celebrating the wins, but you would be heartbroken that the season was over. 

it was a creeping realization why it broke your heart so much. you loved debate, you always had. but you don’t know why you felt your stomach sink each time you thought about never coming to these competitions again. never seeing your team in this context hurt, the thought of this moment in time never being created again hurt even more. but you would have the chance to see them at school. you only bonded with everyone on your team this season, learning about them through long bus rides and lunch table talk. 

but you had gotten so close to eunseok over the time too, learning things about him that added depth to the character you thought he didn’t have. the thought of never being able to be with him again in private and in public made your steps falter and your breath catch in your throat. you looked at his room again, praying that the light would turn on and he’d open his door to call out to you. but the cold wind continued to nip at your face and freeze your hands tucked into your pockets. you look at eunseok’s door again, then you look to yours. your room for some reason seemed lonelier.

it was ironic that it was you nervously crossing the parking lot of the hotel now. you were clad in black the same way eunseok was, trying to seem as nonchalant as possible while you walked the moonlit path to his room. you wanted to turn around, to try and salvage whatever was left of your pride. you were a highly decorated debater and a leader that took your team to victory. but now here you were, pitifully walking across the parking lot as you came to terms with your feelings.

you must’ve went back and forth in the parking lot a million times, trying to decide what you really wanted to do. each step you took to eunseok’s room you thought about all your possible options. you could never talk to him again, never even look his way at school. it would’ve been easy. the season was over and you really had no reason to see him again. you wish you had the excuse of having a class with eunseok, because then you’d have a reason why you wanted to see him so badly. it was inexplicable why you needed him in your life, and why you only came to this conclusion after realizing the possibility that he wouldn’t be in it at all.

you let your train of thought run wild until you ended up in front of eunseok’s door. you were still, not moving your hand up to knock on the wood. you just stood there, waiting for yourself to gain the courage to knock. the skeptic in the back of your mind also told you it was time to prepare to be rejected. you held your breath as you formed a fist and knocked gently on the door.

you stood out there for what seemed like ages. you thought about how you left eunseok waiting outside your hotel room for even longer than this and felt guilty. with each second your heart dropped more and more, you don’t know why you would subject the man you like to waiting outside. you started losing hope quickly, that eunseok was being cruel to you in the way you deserved. you were being left out to dry the same way you left him—it was poetic truly. so you pitifully turned on your heel and started walking back across the parking lot to cry yourself to sleep.

before you left the shade of the platform above, eunseok opened his door. you turned back around instantly, trying to stop the smile from forming across your face. it was hard to remain happy as you took in eunseok’s serious expression. he only opened the door enough to see half of his face, and the short metal chain as an extra safety measure covered part of his face. the less you saw of him the more panicked you felt. eunseok always gave you everything, but now on the other side of this door you felt like a stranger. you wanted to reach through the crack in the door and touch him. he continued to look at you, the playful glint he usually had in his eyes were gone.

“what do you want?” eunseok asked.

he spoke at a normal volume, different from the usual hushed whispers. you looked down the row of doors in panic. someone could easily hear his voice if he kept that same volume.

“i came to apologize.” you said quietly.

eunseok looks at you for a second longer before closing the door. you continue to stand out in the cold, hearing the chain unhook on the other side of the door. eunseok a second later opens his door, inviting you to the warm yellow glow in his room. 

you smile at him as you walk into his room. you’re still met with eunseok’s expressionless face, and you want to continue walking to lock yourself in his bathroom as he closes the door and locks it. you sit on the edge of eunseok’s bed, putting an indent in the neatly folded sheets. eunseok still stands by his door, arms crossed as he looks at you. the warmth you felt in between the moments of intimacy was gone. eunseok made you feel like an intruder, and you started feeling a rock form in the bottom of your stomach. 

you’re silent for too long—eunseok tilts his head and raises his eyebrows to show you his impatience.

“i’m sorry for how i acted yesterday.” you said.

you rock back on your heels, taking out all the nerves you feel from looking at eunseok in his eyes. he stands with his hands in his pockets, repeating your apology in his head over and over again. after a moment he lets out a sigh and nods his head.

“i forgive you. and i did overreact—you were right.” eunseok rubs the back of his neck as he thinks back to his own actions “i can’t force you to like me. so we should end it here before we head back.”

you shake your head and take a step closer to eunseok.

“you only reacted like that because of what i said to you.” you reasoned.

“i still don’t like how i reacted.” eunseok says.

you nod to accept his apology. it gives you time to try and think of how to say the things you still need to say. your confession sits on the tip of your tongue, but you can’t put it eloqunetly like you imagined it. 

eusneok stands in front of you, with his hands moving in his pockets as you two stand in complete silence. you hear the door next door open, and you instinctively move out of the line of sight in the window. your movement puts you close to the door, so close that you could turn the knob and be outside in a few movements. eunseok looks past you to stare at his door, motioning towards it gently.

“the person next to me is random. he won’t know if you leave.” eunseok says casually.

his tone doesn’t tell you to leave, leaving it open to what you want to do. eunseok walks towards you, until he stands in front of you. you can smell the fresh soap on eunseok and see droplets from eunseok’s wet hair fall on on the carpet. when he’s close enough to take in a deep breath of him, and close your eyes.

“i like you,” you open your eyes to see eunseok already looking down at you. “i like you so much it kind of freaks me out” you say.

your confession floats in the cold silent air of eunseok’s room. it circles around your bodies like a string, pulling you closer and closer together as the words sink in. eunseok brings his hands from his pockets so squeeze both of yours. he works his way up from your hands to your elbows, then to your shoulders. your hands go to eunseok’s waist when his hands hold your face, rubbing his thumb along your features. a gentle hand tilts your chin up before eunseok brings you into a kiss. you close your eyes a second after he closes his, to make sure that this is real.

eunseok’s soft lips touch yours, and you press gently back. the way eunseok can’t stop running his hands over your body makes you think he’s not sure if this is real either. you both kiss back timid and gentle, the sound of pecks and chaste kisses fills the room. when you push back against eunseok’s lips a little rougher he pulls away. 

he runs his pink tongue over his slightly swollen lips before looking at yours. the lamp beside eunseok’s bed casts the shadow of his hands reaching for the bottom of your shift against the wall. you see your bodies move in realtime in your peripheral vision when you reach your arms for the ceiling.

eunseok helps you out of your sweatervest, tossing it behind you somewhere. he slowly undoes each button of your blouse while you start pulling eunseok’s shirt over his head. he has to hurry with the last button to take off his shirt the rest of the way, leaving you both in your bottoms and you in your bra.

he takes a step closer the undo the button of your slacks. the teeth of your zipper makes a quiet noise, but it’s heightened by the absence of sound in the room. you let the material pool at your ankles and eunseok does the same, both of you stepping out of your pants at the same time.

eunseok knows he has seen you naked before. he doesn’t know why it feels like the first time again, or why you look like a fallen angel in his room. your eyes are red from nearly crying as you look up at him, and your bottom lip is swollen from nervous bites. when the yellow glow of the dingy hotel room bounces off your skin, it makes you look too fragile to touch. his hands almost shake as you guide them to your back, letting them rest on the clasp of your bra. you let your hands rest on eunseok’s shoulder as he undoes the clasp on the second try. the elastic snaps forward, and your chest is free from the material. eunseok helps your arms out like you’re made of porcelain. he lets your bra drop onto the ground beside your pants.

eunseok brings you in for a kiss again, turning you around so he can guide you to his bed. when your back legs hit the edge he guides you down gently, leading you all the way until your pretty head rests between the pillows.

you can feel eunseok twitching against his boxers as he presses his dick against your clothed heat. your panties stick to your folds as eunseok continues to grind into you, and you can feel precum seeping through his underwear. eunseok trails kisses from your cheek to the crook of your neck, letting out a depraved groan when you wrap your legs around his waist and lift your hips up.

“remember the first time i fucked you like this?” eunseok asks.

eunseok kisses your forehead before putting a firm hand on your waist, keeping you in place. he leans back on his legs to be upright and a gentle hand pushes the waistband of your panties down. all you have to do is lift your ass off the bed slightly while eunseok guides your legs out of the holes. eunseok leaves a trail of kisses starting at your ankles that ends at the space right next to your lips before he’s hovering over you again. he takes off his underwear with much less care, and you use a cordinated foot to help him get his underwear off all the way.

you nod your head and wrap your legs around eunseok’s waist, not letting him get any further from you. you move your hips to close what little space there is between the two of you, and his hard dick presses against your entrance. it’s like it’s the first time again, the way eunseok looks to you for approval until you nod your head desperately. the space between your lips crackles with electricity as eunseok slowly pushes his dick inside of you. it’s delicate just like his touches, and he takes his time pushing in all the way.

eunseok slowly slided back out. you’re forced to keep your hips in place and take it all as eunseok continues to pepper kisses all over your face. he pushes back into you just as slow making you gasp and pull him close to you.

“i missed you too.” eunseok says.

“i’m sorry,” your words are caught in your throat when eunseok puts a delicate finger to your clit. “i’m so sorry.” you whine.

eunseok continues to kiss you. he stops rubbing your clit to press his finger to the sensitive bud. it makes you squirm undeerneath him, and he kisses your sleepy eyes.

“it’s okay, just don’t break my heart again alright?” eunseok says.

when he presses a little harder to your clit you arch your back, and eunseok wraps a hand behind you to bring you closer. 

“alright.” you whine.

you are the one that kisses him first this time. your hands bring eunseok’s face impossibly close to yours as you push your tongue past his lips. you taste everything, and you can feel eunseok’s warm tongue touch yours. you can barely get enough of him, only halting in your kisses when eunseok changes the motion of his fingers or thrusts into you roughly. your moans are eagerly swallowed by eunseok, and he starts ravaging you the same way you were doing to him.

“feels so good.” you say in between thrusts.

“i know. i know.” eunseok coos. 

he kisses the waterline of your eye, and you dig fingernails into eunseok’s back.

“i’m close.” you whimper.

“me too.” eunseok says back.

his voice starts to waiver on its own. his usual steady tone cracks, and you can hear his moans become more breathy as he increases the speed of his hips. 

you reach between your two bodies to pull his hand away from your clit to hold it. you squeeze his hand, trying to find an outlet for your orgasm so you can prolong feeling of eunseok’s hot puffs of air against your neck and him hitting that spot deep inside of you. eunseok still rests in the crook of your neck, nearly whimpering into your ear when you need to look at him.

“eunseok.” you whine.

he pulls away to look at you in the eyes. you move his bangs away from his eyes as his hips begin to stutter.

“i love you.” you say quietly.

eunseok pecks your lips before pulling away to look you back in your eyes.

“i love you too, baby.” eunseok grins.

he can’t get another word out before your body reacts to him. you pull eunseok close to you by pressing hands to his back and wrapping your legs around his waist. for the first time ever you overpower eunseok, and he lets you completely take charge. your walls seize around eunseok’s dick and you press your ass into the mattress to fuck yourself on eunseok’s dick. eunseok lets you overstimulate him while you reach your own peak. his moans turn into desperate whimpers while you continue to milk him. it isn’t until eunseok is nearly crying out your name that you orgasm yourself. eunseok wedges his hand between the mattress and your body to pull you into a hug, and you moan mixing curses and eunseok’s name while you came undone. 

you two lay in bed together for awhile. it takes you what seems like ages to stop twitching, where eunseok can touch you without you moaning from overstimulation.  you two talk about everything, giving the other a play by play from your individual perspectives. eunseok proudly informs you that he knew about his feelings after the first time you two had sex, and how he was waiting for you to realize your own feelings. you told him a story of your own, how scared you were to admit your feelings for no reason.

before it’s time for your team to depart, eunseok regrettably tells you that you have to go back to your room. he helps you back into your debate uniform, finding your undergarments and clothing items that are strewn across his room. he helps your sore legs through the black tights, and he laughs when the buttons on your blouse are uneven. he lends you his jacket before walking you across the parking lot to your own room. the sun started rising over the parking lot, illuminating your path in light blue and golds. the usual nip of the cold morning was manageable with eunseok’s hand clasped over yours, and you didn’t have to worry about tripping over potholes in the parking lot with his hand resting on your lower back. when you get to your door you kiss eunseok one last time. before closing it all the way, you open it again to give him one last peck on his lips.

“see you in a little bit.” eunseok says with a smile on his face.

“yeah. see you in a little.” you laugh.

when you finally close your door and eunseok finally leaves your stoop, you finish packing up. you change out of your rumpled debate uniform and take a quick shower. by the time you’re done getting ready for the long bus ride back, you get a knock on your door. you leave the person on the other side waiting for only a second before swinging the door open. 

eunseok turns away from the parking to look at you, smiling bright when you smiled right back at him. you let him grab your hand as you leave the awning of your hotel room. 

you two take the walk together back to the mini-bus, acting oblivious to the loud exclamation of your teammates as you admire your trophy.

[hearts4werka]

— ⋆.˚ SMOKE AND STEEL ! —

| — in conclusion… fresh after getting a job done, you and chris chill in a stolen car, previously belonging to a now dead hit man trying to get to you two first, passing a cigarette between each other deep in conversation which leads to something more.

| — warnings… mentions of murder , child neglect , blood involved , stealing , smoking , criminal activity , serial killers , slight gore description , arguing , suggestive content , kissing , swearing , pet names , crime confessions & more.

[ the mentioned gruesome acts are to not be repeated! ]

You quickly close both front doors to the black stolen rather spacious car, both of you panting as you rest your body fully against the cushion seats, a suspicious stench starts to spread across the car and hits your nostrils, aside the growing smell of fresh blood seeping in from the stained fabric of your clothes into the clean seats of the vehicle and sweat as all of the factors start to mix together, soft and quiet curses leave both of your mouths as the smell starts to invade your noses and lungs as it gets worse but a weird smell coming from is currently the last of your worries when an objective automatically sets in your mind. "Did you take his keys?" you question while your words mix in with the soft pants coming out of your mouth, glancing over at Chris as he scrambles to quickly take them out of his pocket and go over to start the car. "Yeah, I did. Thats what we went back for, cause you have the memory of a goddamn goldfish and didnt take it yourself." he states annoyingly while sparing you a single glare, pushing the keys into the keyhole and twisting them as the engine roars to life, Chris observing all of the functionalities to figure out the basics to operate the car with ease, visibly tensing with the amount of time he's possibly taking into his advantage.

"Hey! at least I'm not the one who fucked up last time, forgetting a fucking hand after dismembering that bitch." you bite back, crossing your arms over your chest and sink into your seat, just as Chris is about to finally starts off the car, he turns to you and rolls his eyes at your supposed insult. "Oh cmon, that was like weeks ago by now, still not over it?" removing his gaze off of you and back to starting the car and goes at an unneccesary high speed, the usual speed you would use to get away from a simple chase you would encounter once in awhile, "Besides, no one found nor reported it before we noticed it was gone, get over yourself." he says sarcastically, his words containing some truth in them, infact no one found out about the lost hand before you retrieved it. Rolling your eyes back at him the current speed spiking your concern as a gass problem would quickly emerge from the amount being used all at once. "Why the fuck are you rushin’ so much? its not like he's gonna come back to life and chase after the car.” you comment, soft annoyance seeping into your voice, you try to keep an unbothered and annoyed expression but when the weird stench assaults your nostrils again you can’t help but show soft signs of disgust that Chris notice’s on your face and in the air but seeming to not be as bothered as you were.

“Oh my god, why does is smell like a goddamn rat’s ass in here? you better pull over somewhere before I throw up in here and make it worse.” “You’re acting like you never smelled a dead body in your life, he probably left something in the trunk.” "Probably?! its not a 'probably' its definitely a rotting dead body in there!" you exclaim, worried you could get pulled over by the police and framed for the murder you didn't even commit, at least not this one. “I’ll pull up somewhere, calm down.” he says calmly, driving around the empty dark road in search of a decent place to dump out the body, or whatever is there in the car currently, “We’re lucky there aren’t any cops around here or we would be busted.” “Yeah, no shit.” you roll your eyes once again at another one of his smartass remark, he was always like this during any kind of mission you had together and overtime you learned how to adapt to it, taking some of his attitude and transferring it onto your own, kind of starting to grow on you. His eyes spot a decent and softly hidden spot to pull over and dispose of the factor causing the rotten smell, parking the car you both get out of the car and walk around to now face the trunk, the stench only intensifying and smelling worse the closer you got to opening the trunk.

“Well, here goes nothing.” you prepare yourself before Chris lifts the trunk open, the stench becoming unbearable you pluck your nose with your fingers as you observe the thing before you, or what was left of it, from what you could make out the trunk revealed a decaying body of what seemed like a young child, purple marks bruising its delicate skin around the neck as the little clothes that were slowly disintegrating showed more marks, who knows what happened to this poor child? “Holy shit—“ “Oh fuck no—“ both of you exclaim in unison, your gaze immediately looking away as you couldn’t bare the sight but not daring to show any vulnerability. “Okay I didnt not expect to be dumping out a fuckin’ child?!” Chris says in disbelief and utter disgust, examining further the rotting corpse as now several flies and insects started to flow around it, appearing the child must have fought back but have been strangled. “The fuck did this kid do to be just chucked into a trunk like that..” he wonders and ponders what could possibly have happened to this child, you turn back around and face the corpse once again, attempting to find a way to carefully pick the corpse up and dispose of it.

“How are we going to get rid of it anyway?” you question and your mind wonders, possible solutions and ideas circulate around the asked question inside of your brain as Chris seems to think as well while his gaze wanders the body up and down, figuring out how you could pick it up and dispose of it to also not add onto the already existing injuries littering the entirety of the corpse. “Just dump it down the hill, I guess.” he suggests as if it would be our only solution in this situation, you ponder and the soul idea of just dumping the kid down the hill seems too cruel to you, wishing you could just get this person a proper funeral or burial but can't quite take the risk to get caught by the police now, you let out a soft sigh and look up at Chris. "This is so fucked up, why would that hitman have a child just casually rotting in his trunk? like what the fuck?" "Just shut up and let's get this over with so you won't have to keep fucking whining in my ear." you furrow your brows in annoyance, biting back an insult but deciding to take a slight different approach to the current argument. "Oh you care about me too much, worried I'd whine my ass off?" you say sarcastically, him rolling his eyes in frustration before you start to slowly and carefully move forward and towards the edge of the long hill before placing the body down on the edge, you stand up next to the body as Chris softly pushes it, watching it roll down the hill and getting caught up on all of the stuff in its way, bones cracking and limbs twisting in weird directions before it finally lands at the end, right by the shallow river.

You two stand there in silence for a minute, just watching how several flies and insects start to circle it, you turn your gaze to Chris and signal to him that you two should probably go already and he nods his head in agreement, turning around from the cliff and walking back to the car that was left open. Hopping back into the car you two started to drive again with not much purpose, the car fell silent as the car gone back onto the road as none of you spoke a word, deep in thought about what you two have witnessed, you didn't want to think about it but the thought alone wouldn't leave your mind so easily, even if you had seen a lot of death over the years this still felt quite new to you and unfamilliar, you take a soft breath before finally breaking the silence which was getting quite uncomfortable to sit in. "Well, that was interesting. though never are we killing a hitman again, I don't care what the boss says." you state matter-of-factly, throwing your hands in the air before falling down and crossing over your chest, glancing over at Chris who seems to be consumed on watching the road, still being rather empty as only a few cars pass by us and none looking suspicious. The air loosens slightly from the tense grip it was in, the radio bumping up the atmosphere with music full with bass and rhythm, catchy lyrics come out of the performers mouth as you softly hum the melody to yourself out of just pure boredom and because the melody became imprinted in your mind now, constantly replaying itself as the song continued, the silence of your voices still occupying the air.

"Like he can't certainly force us to do it, right? no way he can." you add to your previous statement with a scoff at the end of your words, shaking your head in denial, you don't care if you would sound like a total brat to your boss, you live in a free country and have human rights and your boss cannot take them away from you, that's for sure. "It would be ridiculous if he tried to just toy with us like he does with his fuckin' mind slaves that see no wrong in this job, just a bunch of brainless fucking dumbasses." you continue and soon enough go on a small rant about your boss and what kind of job you have to do in order to get payed but then realizing you mostly do it just for the thrill of it and fill the air with quite meaningful words but some dumb ones as well, as your eyes subconciously glance over at Chris to check if he is still even listening to you you notice a slight smirk starting to grow on his face which lights a soft spark of curiousity grow inside of you as a small amount of confusion shadows over your features, your brows furrowing together. "The fuck you're smirking for right now?" you question, cocking your head to the side while traveling your full attention onto him now, him only spearing you a single teasing look before shifting his eyes back onto the road. "You're adorable when you get all mad bout' shit like this, hard not to." he answers loud and proud like he's going to win an award for it, but the way he spoke made you slightly flustered and cutting off your long train of constant words coming out of your mouth to now almost none as your mind couldn't think of what to say in the right amount of time and Chris seemed to take notice of your state, taking your situation to his advantage.

"Is someone flustered and out of words?" he spoke teasingly, sarcasm lacing each and single one of his words but also a soft hint of seriousness still poke through, you were about to reply to him but he continued. "Well about damn time, thought I would rip my ears off then listen to you any minute longer." "Oh fuck off, you cocky bitch." you reply with more annoyance in your words but a slight hint of playfulness snaked into your tone, rolling your eyes at him as he chuckled at your reaction, the harsh tension left in the air dissolving completely as your conversation got more playful and teasing. "I'll take that as a yes then." he spoke again, your eyes tearing away from him and go to look out of the window into the darkness of the night, the empty streets adding onto the eery astmosphere outside slowly bulding up as you continue to drive for to an unknown destiny to you, you swipe your tongue across the top of your teeth with a soft pop while your mind starts to wonder to lengths you didn’t know you could even reach, but one thought crosses your mind all of a sudden, what exactly is your relationship with Chris? you never thought much into it when the only reasonable answer was partners in crime, right? or all this teasing and playful banter meant something different to him, men are so difficult to read nowadays anyway.

“Where are we driving anyway? don’t we have like another mission in an hour or two?” you question, scanning your eyes around the car and your surroundings to figure out where Chris could possibly be driving to and as to figure out what train of thoughts is going through his head in this moment, maybe he could be thinking about your relationship too? you couldnt be sure and once again begin to get consumed by your own thoughts. "A quiet place to take a breather for a minute, thought I was gonna kidnap you or somethin?" your eyebrows furrow together at his cocky mouth today, rolling your eyes at him before answering. "Why would you even kidnap me? that doesn't even make sense at all right now." you reply now slightly more serious but that playful tone still remaiming in the depths of your voice, not seeming to be going anywhere anytime soon, "Oh I thought no one would want you anyways, so might as well take you all for myself." he shrugs his shoulders matter-of-factly while starting to slow down the vehicle, driving into an empty parking lot fairly close to a big mansion with flashing party lights shining in through the windows and slowly backing up into one of the non-taken spots, "Don't get too cocky with me now, christopher." "Or what are you gonna do? bite my tongue to make me shut up?" he mocks, the banter still somehow continuing between you two, when the car finally comes to a stop he turns his full attention onto you and you doing the same, a fain smirk of your own starting to show faint marks on your face.

You could see right through his words in that moment, the daring undertone in them not being able to escape your attention as you notice it right away while the daring look in his eyes confirmed your growing suspicion, deciding to play along with his little show he's putting on. "Oh really? don't threaten me with a good time or I might just give in, sweetheart." you mockingly speak the last word, seeking out his reaction on his face while secretly admiring his defined features and lips with simple sneaky glances, his eyes being oblivious to your almost obvious staring, you chuckle as his smirk becomes more evident on his face from your name calling. "You're such a nuisance." "Nuisance my ass! don't forget who helps you clean up bodies and crime scenes." you say defensively, softly pouting your lips and sitting back into your now blood-stained seat, reaching into the back pocket of your jean shorts to retriev a lighter alongside a pack of red malboro cigarettes, softly rolling down your window for fresh air to find its way inside of the car, bringing the filter to sit between your lips as you part them while lighting the end of the cigarette and inhaling the smoke into your lungs, the smell and smoke already spreading across the enterity of the vehicle. "Those are bad for you, dumbass." "Oh screw you," "Yeah, you just might." he chuckles teasingly, gesturing for you to pass the cigarette to him with his hand doing a soft motion and you look at it confused.

"Thought you said they were bad for me and now you want one?" you scoff sarcastically while he just chuckles and shakes his head, still despite his claims and smart remarks towards you, your mind decides to still let him steal a single drag from your cigarette but in a different way as an interesting idea pops into your head. "So you want a drag?" "Yeah dumbass, I do." he deadpans as if it was the most obvious thing in the world but you take him by surprise when you lift your body off the seat, bloody imprints left behind while you situate yourself on his lap and immediately feel his hands slithering their way up your thighs, softly massaging the bumpy flesh underneath his hands until they finally rest on your hips with his fingers hooked into the belt loops of your shorts, pulling them lightly from time to time. "Well, look who decided they like me again.. comfy there, parasite?" he mocks playfully, his fingers fidgeting with the your belt loops and slightly pulling on them, you roll your eyes at him and shift on his lap, not answering his question as you couldnt find a normal reply inside of your dark mind. "Open your mouth." you demand while your eyes travel from your surroundings to Chris who without much hesitation nor convincing, parted his lips and opened his mouth, surprisingly. Inhaling some of the smoke into your mouth, bringing your face and mouth closer to his before they ghost over his own lips, exhaling the smoke into his own mouth and noticing the slight surprise in his eyes but it quickly fades away while he closes his mouth with your smoke remaining inside, inhaling it into his lungs before blowing it out into the air.

"Well wasn't that unexpected now?" he teases, clearly not exactly complaining about how close you two were in that moment but actually enjoying it quite much, playfuly pulling on your belt loops again. "Couldnt just give me the cigarette like a normal person, hm?" he adds, cocking his head to the side in question, scoffing sarcastically place your hands on his shoulders while they loosely wrap around his neck, once again adjusting your hips on his lap before finally speaking. "You thought that was unexpected? just wait for what else I have instore." you playfully tease him with your words as well as your subtle shifting and movements, the contour of his body underneath and against yours becoming more evident to your mind while more time passes sitting together in such intimate position but both of you couldnt exactly care about anything else than each other right now. "Oh yeah? well bring it on, bitch." "Okay then, man whore." both of you chuckle at each others words before Chris brings his face closer to yours while his lips softly and subtly ghost over yours, using your arms around his neck you pull him closer and concealing your lips together into the desired kiss you've been waiting for, your lips move against each other with rhythm as the soft streetlights cast a soft glow over you from the opened window as you continue to captivating kiss, feeling a growing smirk against your mouth as the kiss turns more aggresive and tough, almost as if it could bruise your lips.

His tongue making its way into your mouth, your teeths softly sinking down on his bottom lip while your hand travels to tangle your fingers into his brown locks to demand him closer with a simple touch as he continues to pull on your belt loops but now unhooking one of his hands and slithering its way to grasp the back of your neck with roughness and gentleness mixed together into the sudden touch, the calloused fingertips digging into the clothed flesh of your hip that might just leave a mark behind, working as a small reminder of the moment you two are sharing anytime you would see it, you try your best not to accidently press the horn on the steering wheel with your back to not alert anyone passing nearby of the activities happening inside of the car between you two, the cigarette is still snuggled between your fingers but your thoughts of it completely leave your mind while Chris fully occupies it for now. "Like it when I pull those loops, hm? When I get all rough with you, makes you want so much more." he speaks between kisses, his voice dripping with both confidence andd pride of his dominant position that appears to be on the more dominant side in this situation and taking that into his advantage, for now continuing to aggressively make out inside of the stolen car.

A sudden loud echoing noise coming from outside disrupts your peace and pulling you out of your small trance and intense moment, making you two become more aware and more alert of your surroundings, you roll your eyes as things were just getting interesting but also are a little bit confused by the sudden loud noise and what could have caused it, you were sure that you two were alone in the area, well that just proved your statement severely wrong but it possibly could have just been nothing as well. “What the fuck was that noise?” you question out loud while your eyes scan the area visible through the softly black tinted windows of the car, inside of your mind you come to a conclusion it was just probably a harmless thing, nothing dangerous at all, but even if something would to happening that put our well-being and life handing on an edge, you were definitely prepared and armed for the occasion. “Honestly speaking, I couldn’t give a fuck less about it, there are some houses around here too so that could be a possible answer y’know?” Chris states seeming almost unbothered by the noise and you stop any movement for a second, just looking at chris’s face before shrugging your shoulders and both of you exchanging a simple look before leaning back into each other, taking off from where you have left off from your make-out session and continue it, your lips connecting once again with now a soft feeling of longing lingering in the air while the taste of smoke and your mouths dance in an intense dance on your tongues as they tangle into each other again, your teeth delivering soft bites and nibs at his bottom lip.

The tension and intimacy slowly starts to come back into the captivating moment as you two return to the same state of mind and become entranced by each other once again while the background starts to fade from your mind and all becoming replaced with Chris now, the feeling of your lips on his and the not so subtle touches dancing on your skin, you don't care about anything else than him and this moment right now no matter what could happen to you two for ignoring the possible alert of danger being the loud noise outside, just as you feel you've caught up to where you've left off a hard knock is delivered onto the car window once again breaking you two apart from each other, a soft curse leaves your mouth while you stare at the tinted window with annoyance scribbled across your features and Chris seems to have the same reaction but his seeming a lot more bored than your own, "Fuckin' again? I'm annoyed with this already jesus." you hiss, your voice laced with venom and annoyance as one of Chris's hands leave your body to press the button to roll down the window all of the way, when the window is fully down and revealing the other person outside, to both of your surprise one of your co-workers Dalya suddenly appears on the other side of the window, her brows immediately furrowing at the sight she has just witnnesed, biting her tongue back to not splurt out with a shit ton of questions.

"Okay so I aint one to judge, and I rather keep my mouth shut here but y'know the boss is pissed you two didn't comeback after yall's mission, right?" she quickly explains, being quite straight-forward about the message she wanted to deliver but you two are still left quite stunned and surprised by her sudden presense, "Yeah but the fuck are you doin' here now?" her gaze travels to look at your face individually as the following question leaves your mouth, Chris nodding his head to join the question as well, also being curious about what answer she could give to you. "Boss sent me yall's details and shit to find ya and bring yall back." shiiit... the boss is definitely going to be pissed when we eventually comeback to the base, sending the one of many workers he isn't exactly fond of just further proves my point, Dalya noticing our slightly worried thoughts casting a soft shadow over your facial features she decides its the best time to speaks up again. "Im assumin' that shit is bad for yall?" Chris shakes his head while her simple presense and words started to slightly get onto his nerves and annoy him further and more than he already was. "Yeah, no shit, brainless bitch. It is bad for us."

— VERA’S MURDER NOTES : 4.2k words of work after, my brain finally decided to let me finish this for yall as a kinda comeback fic?? i rlly hope you guys like this one this time as tbh writing this was pure pleasure for me cuz I absolutely love to write and read these kind of fics, if you guys have any ideas like this I would love to hear them and also maybe write them too!

— VICTIM LIST : @sturnsxplr-25 @luvvs4chriss @pussypie456 @choclatestarfishwithahat @venusxsturnio @bagsbyclair0 @sturnstvs @dykes4chris @mattsbrat @hoe4matt @cayleeuhithinknott @strnilolover @marrykisskilled @phone4pills @emely9274 @cupiidk1lls @lily-strnlo @star-sturns @sturniolosiphone @sophand4n4 @zombiesturniolo @luvleyangeldust @owensbabygirl @sturnina @leoslaboratory @ifwdominicfike @kiemiu @lovergirl4gracieabrams @trevorsgodmother @pasteldreams @chrisissobabygirl @immaqulate @heartsonlyforchris @sofia-is-a-sturniolo-triplet-fan @y3sterdaysproblem @courta13 @sturn777 @sturns-mermaid @endereies @sweetshuga