#01zfan: eunseok

[01zfan]

bad friend: AITA | s. es

boyfriends besfriend!eunseok x reader | 5.8k words

uhm…a little something i’m working on. i don’t condone cheating in any circumstance UNLESS you’re getting your lick back but most of the times I DON’T CONDONE IT. Also, nothing in this fic reflects either eunseok or sungchan's personalities. all fiction and all fun heh.

contains: cheating on your boyfriend with his bestfriend, sungchan and eunseok are bestfriends they swear, sungchan is a bad boyfriend and arguably a worse friend, eunseok is no better.

Eunseok knew you first. He made sure to stress that. He specified that he knew you long before Sungchan entered the picture. 

You were the barista who worked every weekday, standing behind the espresso machine that made Eunseok cortado and rung up the bottled of pressed orange juice that he nursed every morning.

With his computer in the corner closest to the outlets Eunseok knew you first. He talked to you first, he built a rapport with you and got close to you first. He knew about how being a barista was your part time job until you found a something related to what you studied in college, that you lived in the apartment complex ridiculously close to where he lived. 

Eunseok blamed the closeness of the cafe to his apartment for the reason you and Sungchan met. He didn’t say it was fate that you were at the cafe on a Saturday, but instead that it was by terrible design of your work schedule and coincidence that Sungchan wanted to tag along so badly. Eunseok said his roommate was awful for wanting to know how he spent his early mornings. Eunseok described it as keeping his lives separate, his safe haven away from his regular life. The balance was disrupted when he came in with Sungchan in tow and saw you perk up behind the counter to greet him. The slowness of the cafe early in the morning allowed you to ask about Sungchan, and his tendency to swoop in and steal things he knew Eunseok wanted made him talk your ear off for hours. 

Eunseok didn’t blame you nearly as much as he blamed himself. He didn’t expect you to know that he mostly started coming to the cafe to see you and steal bits of conversation throughout the morning. He didn’t expect you to pay attention to the way he paid attention to you. But that was his method of courting. Months of hopeless pining, and then one day when he could finally get the courage, he’d ask for your number. He swore he was going to do it soon, written on the back of a receipt he’d give to you before leaving the cafe swiftly. Then he would wait for a text back, or find a different cafe entirely if you messaged him that you weren't interested. Eunseok had a plan, an inkling of one, but a plan nonetheless. 

The plan was ruined when Sungchan leaned in close to him and asked your name. A simple question, but he knew the infliction of his bestfriend’s voice all the same. He had an interest in you, and Sungchan had a different way of courting. One that didn’t include months of reconnaissance but instead one that manifested to him getting your number before they even left the cafe. Eunseok watched it with his own two eyes. He was looking past his laptop screen in the corner of the cafe locked in on you and Sungchan. Leaning across the bar towards you and telling you his latte was well made. 

(Even though he told Eunseok that there was too much milk and the shots were burned. He also said that the pastry was dry, and that the music from the playlist you made was too boring. He also said that there was a better cafe ten minutes away, and Eunseok was wasting his time and money coming to this one.)

Sungchan smiled at you and you ducked your head as you smiled back. Eunseok watched with his own two eyes how you fell head over heels infatuation with Sungchan just from a single compliment. Something Eunseok had been working at for weeks, Sungchan did it in a span of ten minutes right before the morning rush started. He timed it perfectly. Right as customers started coming in he put his phone on the counter, asking you something Eunseok couldn’t hear. Then he saw you steal the fastest glance towards him before you wiped your hands off on your apron and reached for Sungchan’s phone. 

Eunseok also made sure to mention that you two had more in common than you and Sungchan ever did. You were both quiet, something Sungchan bothered Eunseok about but loved on you. He would always brag to Eunseok about how quiet you were, how you were so shy anything he did made you look down and smile sweetly. You both had nonconventional interests, ones that Sungchan mocked Eunseok for, so much to the point that you silently let your interests go. The first time you ever came over you looked at Eunseok’s manga collection. Eunseok didn’t miss the way your eyes lit up in familiarity before Sungchan remarked that his roommate was a weeb. Eunseok watched you let go of the manga before you nodded your head and smiled at your boyfriend’s joke. He even brought up the time that Sungchan said jokingly you two would make a good couple. Eunseok counted his lucky stars that his skin was already red from the liquor, and not from the shame of knowing you two would be a better couple.

Sungchan knew it too, Eunseok knew he had to. Sungchan unfortunately knew what Eunseok liked after years of knowing him and living in close quarters practically their entire adult lives. He saw the meek girls his roommate would bring around on the rare occasion. Shy just like him, they gushed over his manga collection and had quiet conversations about their interests. A majority of them were a spitting image of you. 

Sungchan had to have known that he was trying to do things right with you, and that’s why Eunseok tried to keep you two far apart. Long before their stark personality difference became a point of contention, Sungchan always had the habit of taking things Eunseok wanted. The toys in the sandbox. The valedictorian spot. The last pan fried dumpling. The bigger room in their shared apartment. 

Eunseok had his fair share of taking the things Sungchan wanted, but he made sure to omit that. He also made sure to omit the fact that he never explicitly said he wanted the aforementioned things. Sungchan often cautioned his friend on being so easygoing, that it opened the opportunity for people to take advantage of him. Sungchan prided himself on being attentive, but he could only do so much. How was he supposed to know not to take if Eunseok said nothing about it? Of course he noticed the touching and the stolen glances and Eunseok’s kicked puppy expression, but he is only human. You didn’t stop him from getting your number and Eunseok didn’t do anything about it either.

Sungchan knew that Eunseok was meek. He knew his bestfriend had the tendency to let Sungchan walk over him in the name of diplomacy. But Sungchan would’ve never thought it’d all culminate into what happened apparently a week ago from last night.

You and Sungchan were really happy together at first. Everyone knew it. Opposites attract, he got you out of your shell and you showed him new things. In the beginning, when you two were finding out about eachother, each day was something new. Your giggles filtered through the walls and boomed in the quietest of places. You two went outside dressed the same, hand in hand trying new places together. Eunseok even mentioned in the beginning that you two seemed to make a good couple. He was looking at his game when he said it and it was a quick comment thrown over his shoulder, but it was validation nonetheless.

You two were good for eachother. 

Were.

Towards the three month mark there was a bump in the road. Sungchan told Eunseok in confidence that there was hesitancy in your side. The cocked eyebrow in Eunseok’s expression should’ve told Sungchan to stop talking. But he kept going, laying into his grievances of you and your relationship. You were too quiet, too shy. You didn’t like going out, but you were always breathing down Sungchan’s neck when he would enjoy his nights. Sungchan could admit he was being a little dramatic, but when you are drunk two texts seems like your phone is being blown up. 

He chalked it up to you two not being matched well. Eunseok chalked it up to that too then. His friend asked him carefully after a beat of silence if Sungchan was going to break up with you. He couldn’t describe the emotion then, but now Sungchan would define it as indignation that bubbled in his chest when he shook his head quickly and said no. 

Towards the four month mark, you and Eunseok started to get close. Sungchan believed then that it was another one of your small acts of defiance. When you really broke out of your shell and started bringing up your grievances, he was quick to find an excuse. Those girls that hung around Sungchan were just a part of his much larger friend group, and it wasn’t fair to take Sungchan away from his friends. Even if they had the habit of hanging off of him and calling him their boyfriend when drunk, they were just friends. You were reading too much into it, and you decided to test if you were overthinking things when you got a friend of your own. But it wasn’t your coworkers, wasn’t the strangers you met throughout your day. You didn’t look far to find Eunseok, and it wasn’t long before you were leaving to hang off of his arm when Sungchan was busy.

In the beginning, it was innocent. Atleast Sungchan can have peace of mind that in the beginning when you would take Eunseok to things he didn’t want to go to it was for companionship. Even though you had girl friends that were interested in those things, but Sungchan digressed. He didn’t want to have another fight and be forced to confront the fact that the girls he hung around wanted more than to just be his friend, and that he shamelessly entertained it when he was feeling like it. In the beginning, Eunseok was just your friend and a pawn in your game of chicken. Who would be the first to set the boundary, who would be the first to admit they were in the wrong? Sungchan knew then it wasn’t him, and he still had trouble admitting it now. Even if he was allegedly the one who pushed you right into Eunseok’s arms.

Eunseok didn’t spare the details after the warning. Sungchan couldn’t help but lean in even closer. He ignored the pain in his back as he focused.

The first instance of there being something more was when Sungchan chose his friends over you. The situation was so minor, something as simple as getting lunch with them over going to the store with you. Eunseok was with you during your errands, insisting on paying for your food and meandering through the aisles of a store with you. When you guys were in the game section you grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the games you wanted to look at. Something that was so simple turned into something that had you two ducking your heads and never bringing it up again.

Until it happened again. The guilt was something you only seemed to bare until Sungchan chose someone over you again. This time it was at one of the few parties Sungchan was able to bring you to. He noticed that you were more than willing to go after Eunseok asked if he could tag along. Sungchan should’ve picked up on the signs, how you two had stopped talking for a few days after the lunch he didn’t ask you about. But you visibly perked up, asking Sungchan which outfit you should wear while Eunseok bit his tongue to hold back a suggestion.

Sungchan didn’t even know about the second time. He was admittedly too involved in a game of beer pong and brushing you off the whole night to know what you were doing. He was certain you had found a lawn chair in the backyard and stayed there, looking at your phone and sipping on a beer. He knew now that you were sitting there, waiting for your boyfriend to be done before the knight in shining armor came in. He crouched beside you in the lawn, the same beer in his hand as he offered you the bottled water that was in the other. You looked to Sungchan one last time before you took the water, and thanked Eunseok so sincerely but he only shook his head and said don’t mention it. He was entirely too cool as of late, and now Sungchan knew why. He bet Eunseok didn’t even ask you if you wanted to go somewhere else, he only flicked his head back towards the party that was continuing on inside before you got up from your chair and dusted yourself off. 

Sungchan could admit now he remembers you telling him where you were going. He wasn’t paying much attention to your quiet voice as he tried perfecting the bend in his arm to throw the ball into the cup across the table. But he did know he acknowledged you leaving because he thought you’d be right back. He didn’t know you were leaving to sneak upstairs through throngs of people.

The dimly lit bathroom let Eunseok see all of you. The way you pulled him closer, the way you locked the door before looking up to him entirely.

Eunseok described your lips as shiny. The were covered in a thin layer of the gloss that he bought for you on another run to the shop. The cashier told you that you had a good boyfriend and you didn’t deny it, even if the man swiping his card was very much not your boyfriend. Your lips were soft and slow pressing against his, and hesitant until Eunseok looked you deep in your eyes and asked you if this was alright. He could swim in his reflection in your wide eyes as you slowly nodded your head up and down. When he said you could stop him at any time and moved his hand to cradle the back of your neck you went in more sure of yourself. The light pecks Sungchan complained about turned into something more hungry quickly. The hunger made Eunseok’s other hand wander your body quickly, feeling the parts of you only Sungchan had touched. Your mutual hunger made Eunseok lift you up to place you on the edge of the sink, it made you stick your tongue into his mouth as you wrapped your legs around his waist.

“He doesn’t deserve you.” 

That was the first time Eunseok ever let the confession slip out. He meant it with everything in him, and it showed that he didn’t regret what he was doing. He would never leave you alone the way Sungchan left you alone, he would never leave you to think that anyone in his life held a candle to you. You didn’t refute his claims either. You only pulled away and nodded again with tears beginning to dot your waterline before you went back in again. 

Eunseok only took his hands off of you to take his jacket off. The top layer was entirely too hot as you pushed it off his shoulders. He didn’t care if his jacket fell to the floor of the bathroom, black hides stains and he didn’t want to take his lips off of yours. You two breathed into eachothers mouths to avoid breaking apart entirely, and when his jacket was off you pulled him so close and so fast by his white shirt he had to brace himself by holding the edges of the ceramic sink. He gave you his tongue quickly, laving the top row of your teeth as his hands found your thighs again. 

Eunseok had to take a detour just to say how everything about you was just so soft. He couldn’t believe it. A tiny part reserved only for himself he talked about your soft hands, soft lips, soft legs, and soft heart. It wasn’t fair someone as kind as you was pushed to do such terrible things. He lamented that you were so loyal, and Sungchan often said one of the best things about you was that you were too shy to cheat.

But as the tight skirt Sungchan suggested rode up your legs, you weren’t that person anymore. When you nodded as Eunseok wedged his hands between your thighs you weren’t meek. He was enamored by the soft feeling of your thighs closed around his hand, bringing him closer to the fabric of your panties. Eunseok was completely surrounded by you as he dragged his hand against you, the heavy pressure against your cunt made you whine into his mouth. Sungchan and Eunseok could both agree on your sounds being beautiful. Your reactions made him want to continue. He would’ve done it, if your phone didn’t start vibrating from a call on top of the toilet seat. The sound of the vibrations pulled you from Eunseok entirely. Sungchan’s picture taking up your entire screen made you realize the situation you were in. 

He had to go through another week of radio silence from you after the party. Eunseok described it as guilt. Even when Eunseok found out Sungchan never found out, you two refused to go back to normal. Even when he continued to choose his friends over you, you were still quiet. The third time Eunseok had to go to you.

Sungchan should’ve seen the signs. He knows that now. He came into their shared living room entirely too heated. Eunseok was already there, his interest piqued as he paused his show. He asked Sungchan what was wrong, and he could only pretend nothing happened for a second before he spilled everything.

“She broke up with me.” Sungchan said.

He opened the fridge just to close it. Leftovers from your takeout sat right next to his, and your tiny reminder of him not to eat it was the first thing he say. 

“Did she say why?” Eunseok asked.

Sungchan had to furrow his eyebrows at the sudden tension that was in the room. Why did it feel like Eunseok was asking that question for all the wrong reasons? When Sungchan had been broken up with in the past, the only thing Eunseok offered was a drink and well wishes. Now he had the show completely paused, leaning forward like he was trying to pick up on every word. He should’ve listened to the hairs that raised on the back of his neck, but instead he shook it off. Maybe his friend was trying to be more involved, that had to be it. Eunseok was his friend before he was yours, and he didn’t have it in him to have ulterior motives. 

“She said we weren’t a good match.” Sungchan answered.

He was too distracted to see that Eunseok’s expression shifted. The tension dissolved and Eunseok let out the smallest sigh of relief before his sights cut back to the television. Sungchan was too focused on the comfort his friend was giving him. A pat on his back and an it’s okay was enough to convince Sungchan everything really was okay. He wasn’t a bad boyfriend, he just didn’t meet his match. Sungchan went to bed telling Eunseok he was such a great friend.

He had no idea that once he went to bed, Eunseok was on his phone in an instant. Opening up your message history to tell you that Sungchan told him what happened. You told the truth and said you didn’t tell him about what happened at the party, but you lied by saying Eunseok wasn’t one of the reasons. If he truly wasn’t it wouldn’t have been so easy to open your door to him. All Eunseok had to tell you was that your leftovers were still in the fridge, and he could bring it to you and you two could talk. Just talk, both of you specified that.

Sungchan would’ve loved to not know how long you lasted before you folded. But unfortunately, he knew it all. You invited Eunseok into your apartment visibly cleaned up from the crying you did all day, and you took the leftovers before throwing it in your fridge with the rest of your takeout. You didn’t even like the food from the restaurant. You put it in the fridge just to see if Sungchan would be a bother and eat it just like all the other times you left food in his fridge. Sungchan knew that you two started by talking on Eunseok’s couch, mentioning everything but the reason he was there and why you had used tissues balled up on your coffee table. It wasn’t until the movies credits started to roll that you two looked at eachother knowingly.

“He broke my heart.” You said truthfully.

The tears were so obvious. Eunseok was a mediator. He was a thinker down to the bone, always trying to get people to look at the situation objectively. But you crawled closer to him, your head resting over his heart as he put his arm over you. Eunseok gave in immediately, rubbing your shoulder before kissing the crown of your head.

“You deserve better.” Eunseok said.

Sungchan imagined that when the situation sunk in and you realized Eunseok was his friend everything fell into place. His comforting words served their purpose, but you wanted more. He even described the sad look in your eye shifting to lust with a hint of contempt as you looked up to him. Eunseok brought his other arm to your waist. That was soft too.

“I do.” You said quietly, looking to his lips.

The only part Eunseok spared was you leading him to the bed. Sungchan imagined that part vividly though, after a continuation of the makeout session Sungchan rudely interrupted by calling his girlfriend you jumped off the couch to grab Eunseok by the hand. He only wondered if Eunseok got undressed there, if you gave him a show taking off your clothes the same way you’d always do with him. He imagined his friend sitting there dumbfounded as you took off your shirt and bra. He imagined him drooling as your fingers messed with the band of your sleeping shorts. 

Eunseok didn’t know what to do with all of you, Sungchan refused to believe that. He was just a good storyteller, crafting a lie filled with the tiny habits Sungchan noticed very early on. The tiny squeaks you make, your affinity to being manhandled into place. Your tiny talk to me’s, because you need someone to talk you through everything. There’s no way Eunseok had it in him to flip you from your back to your stomach, to lift your bottom half and spread your legs apart with his hands as he slotted his body between them. There’s no way he could muster the audacity to lean in close until his front was pressing to your back to whisper he was so mean to you baby right in your ear. His meek friend didn’t have it in him. There was no way.

Sungchan looked on in disbelief at the thought of you whining and nodding hopelessly. You liked being crushed, to feel someone’s frame over yours. Eunseok would’ve superimposed your body as he separated from you, looking down at where he was about to be inside of you. If he fucked you in the dark he would be able to see you glisten, if he was able to get the bedside lamp on he’d see the way you preened and wiggled your ass towards his cock. You’d preemptively grab a pillow to muffle your moans as Eunseok pressed a hand to your lower back. He had to have everything perfect, he had thought about this for too long. Fucking you in missionary would’ve been ideal—he was a romantic after all—but he didn’t think you were ready. So he settled for fucking you in one of Sungchan’s favorite positions, one he raved about when it came to you. 

Eunseok slid in slowly. He said it himself, hand on the bible like he was testifying in court. Your hand quickly reached underneath you to feel the rest of his length as he slid in. When his hips kissed yours, and your hand was looking for somewhere else to go, he held it so tight and pressed it to your lower back. You started babbling about wanting him when he slid all the way out to his tip just to go right back in. When he started picking up the pace and clasped a hand around both of your wrists you started talking about love. 

Apparently your walls were soft to. Wet and warm and soft, clasping around his cock like you two were made for eachother. He made it his mission to make you forget about anyone else you had in that moment. Eunseok picked up the speed and let go of your wrists just to watch them fall heavy to the mattress. His hands grabbed at your waist to help guide you back. Eunseok put his hands behind his head and watched you do your own thing for a short period of time. He disappeared inside of you, the lewd sounds combining with the muffled whimpers behind the blankets. 

When you ran out of energy, like you always did, Eunseok moved his body forward. His front was against your back again, but the layer of sweat kept you glued together. Eunseok applied more and more weight on your body until you collapsed all together, your stomach flat against the mattress while Eunseok somehow wedged deeper inside of you. He was able to take away the covers entirely at this point, and your unbridled moans filled the room. They were pathetic whimpers at this point, cut off words, and the beginning of Eunseok’s name all rolled into one. He nodded and cooed to each one, kissing the side of your face to show he was with you.

“I got you.” Your pussy clenched around his cock again at the rough edge in his voice. “I’m here.”

He eventually had to start swiping your tears away with his thumb. He stayed still inside of you for a long time as you regained yourself. He selfishly wanted to draw out whatever this was, because after tonight you two would actually have to talk about what this was before going any further. So while you helplessly clenched around Eunseok in preparation for your orgasm he kissed you gently, trying to back you away from the edge.

“Seokie.” You babbled.

“Hmm.” His heart jumped at the nickname and how sweet it sounded coming out of your mouth in such a whiny tone.

“Feels good.” You uselessly tried lowering and lifting your hips in an effort to fuck yourself on his cock again. “Please keep going.” You begged.

You begged for more as if the line of drool and your body twitches weren’t enough of an indication. Eunseok still nodded and kissed your cheekbone again as he pulled back his hips to slam into you roughly. That’s what you always liked in the end. Rough and slow, Eunseok’s heavy pants on the sweaty base of your neck as he pressed he head against yours. He was feeling the edge himself as he started rambling off at the mouth.

“You’re so perfect.”

“He doesn’t deserve you.”

“I’d treat you so well.”

“All mine.”

These were all things you agreed with. Nodding against your blanket in between your loud moans and declarations of your own. You told Eunseok he was so much better right before you told him you were about to cum. You told him that your cunt liked him better, that it hit a spot deep inside of you. Sungchan didn’t know you had it in you to say such crude things in bed. He didn’t know you were capable of such intimate pillow talk afterwards. Asking him to stay the night, kissing and cuddling until the two of you fell asleep.

Sungchan knew that there were other times he had seen you. His friend that continued to come home at odd hours in the morning and midday with half-assed explanations was seeing you instead. Fucking you, holding you, talking about Sungchan with you. Even though that night was the only encounter Eunseok talked about explicitly, he knew there was more. 

When Sungchan saw that there were other dates marked underneath the conclusion paragraph that’s when he finally pulled away. He looked at the top of the Word document again, blinking hard as he tried to make sense of what he read. But it was right there for him, in big black bold letters, less than an admittance of betrayal but moreso the beginning of a thesis paper.

AITA: ME AND MY BESTFRIEND’S EX-GIRLFRIEND HAD SEX WHEN I WENT TO COMFORT HER ABOUT THEIR BREAKUP.

With his fingers on the trackpad, Sungchan scrolled to the bottom of the document back up to the top. The TL;DR summed up the situation Sungchan read with his own two eyes. 

He was still hanging off every word, from the beginning where Eunseok defined the codewords fro your two names down to the scroll blinking on the very last period, silently asking if the writer wanted to continue. The music playing throughout the lobby of this new cafe was more Sungchan’s taste, but he couldn’t hear anything over the blood rushing in his ears. 

He felt sick looking at the last edit made timestamp at the top. Less than ten minutes ago, while Sungchan sat right in front of Eunseok talking about his recent breakup. His friends reaction made sense now. The tiny nods to the details Sungchan didn’t remember mentioning before. How involved he was in the conversation, when just a week ago Eunseok seemed like he wanted nothing less than to talk about the relationship. Eunseok’s habit of asking about you first, his eyebrows knit in worry as he asked how you were handling all this. Eunseok taking your side instead of his. Everything made too much sense. The timelines coincided too. Sungchan remembers that stormy night when your location was off and he caught a whiff of you on his bestfriend the next morning. He thought it was the remnants of you taking up his mind, but now he knew it was really you.

Sungchan felt anger replace the bile when he remembered all the times Eunseok lied to him too easily. He was seeing you when Sungchan told him he was at the store, he was sneaking off to see you at parties in secluded rooms when he said he was getting drinks. When Eunseok looked his bestfriend dead in the eyes and said he hadn’t even thought about you, he had seen you the previous night. 

Sungchan was played a fool by the one person he believed to be dumber than him. He found solace in the fact that he could walk over his complacent friend, take what Eunseok wanted so desperately to be his. From the time they were kids up until a week ago, it was too easy. Eunseok’s submission was what made their relationship work. Now that Eunseok has turned their dynamic into a pissing contest—one that Sungchan didn’t know he was horrifically losing—he didn’t know what to do. 

His first instinct was to smash Eunseok’s laptop on the ground. The cement floor would’ve turned his laptop to smithereens. He could grab his coffee and poor it right over the keyboard. Maybe if he was lucky the thing would produce smoke, maybe even catch fire right before his eyes. Sungchan could also wait until Eunseok emerged from the bathroom, wait until he was unaware of everything and sucker punch him. They could start a brawl between these two tables, absolutely make a mess of this fine establishment. 

But then Sungchan thought about how Eunseok would have that smug look on his face. As of a week ago, Eunseok got increasingly better at pushing Sungchan’s buttons, saying comments so slick that it left him confused on how to react. He imagined it now, Eunseok’s calm demeanor before telling him Channie, why are you so quick to anger? Like he already knew how his friend would react if he knew what he was writing for the past hour. 

Being predictable is what made Sungchan take a deep breath. He  couldn’t behave the way he wanted to, the way Eunseok would expect him to. Also, there was that one time the two of them fought in grade school and Eunseok beat his ass. He’s sure he could take him now, he’s absolutely positive of it. But Sungchan tells himself he goes back to calmly sitting across from Eunseok because he has a plan. He smiles instead of letting his emotions show on his face when Eunseok comes out of the bathroom because he knows what he’s going to do. Sungchan doesn’t know what he’s going to do just yet, but it’s going to wipe the worried look off Eunseok’s face when he leans in close to Sungchan’s scowl.

“Is everything alright, Sungchan?” Eunseok points to Sungchan’s drink. “Is it the coffee?” He asks.

Sungchan shakes his head and takes a sip to prove it’s alright. Eunseok nods his head and goes back to typing. Sungchan nearly chokes on his drink.

“Better than the other cafe, right?” Eunseok asks, looking at his screen.

Sungchan watched his friend look from the document back up to him. He calms the fire in the pit of his stomach as he nods to his friend. Eunseok goes back to the document and Sungchan can see him switch to a different window. He grips the armrest of his sofa, something Eunseok doesn’t notice as he goes back to typing.

“Way better.” Sungchan says.

He messes with the rim of his cup. Another breath in.

“Eunseok.” He says.

Eunseok stops typing to look at Sungchan. The genuine concern on his face makes Sungchan want to lunge over the table.

“What did you ever do with that food left in the fridge.” When Eunseok looks confused Sungchan clears his throat. “From a week ago.” He specifies.

Sungchan watches him register what happened a weak ago. He has the nerve to hesitate and look up to think like he doesn’t already know. Sungchan’s tongue pokes the inside of his cheek as he looks down at his coffee.

“I threw it out. So you wouldn’t have to deal with it.” Eunseok answers after a beat of silence.

Sungchan takes another deep breath in. He looks up to Eunseok with a smile on his face.

“You’re a good friend.” Sungchan says.

He can see the hesitancy in Eunseok’s head nod. Eunseok knows he can see it too.

[melobin]

14, 17, 24 :3 WHENS DINNER MELOW

What are your top 3 favorite fanfics?

i’m not sure if this is of my own or someone else’s LMFAO so i’ll give one of my own and then two of other peoples. but for my own it’s rules, sungchan. i loved writing that fic i enjoyed it so much and i still love it.. god i love you pathetic sungchan. for others.

argue with you, eunseok by @01zfan. this fic series changed my life. i was there waiting for the next part to be uploaded it’s just PERFECT 💔

dare i say between the lines by @bbina (lmfao) it’s just so good it’s the best smau ive ever ready i was so invested and kicking my feet 💔 i recommend it to literally everyone

there so many good fics on here i reblog my favourite ones on @wonbincore 💔

17. Have you ever posted something that started off as a oneshot/drabble and it became a series? Tell me more :)

i remember for the porn plot series i had the idea of doing a mechanic sungchan fic because i thought he fit it well and then i thought it would make a good series that i never finished LMFAO .. i actually have antons half written and i should finish it bc i have more series ideas hehe.

24. What good advice would you give for creativity blocks?

the thing about having a block and struggling to continue is that you should never force yourself to do it. if you already don’t want to write, then don’t. forcing yourself into it will only make you hate it more. when it comes to writing, if you don’t want to write a certain thing, don’t, at least push it aside until you do want to. focus on something or someone else, not down any random ideas you have. brainstorm with friends. come back to the idea when you’re ready to but if you force yourself to write something it will never get finished

fanfic ask game

[01zfan]

presidential suite pt. 2

actor!eunseok x actress!reader | 5.2k words

a commission i got for the second part. the person who commissioned me i got your anon message and i just want to say THANK YOU! i was not aware so thank you for informing me heh.

this fic kind of was inspired by a house in nebraska by ethel cain.

contains: unprotected sex, mentions of online hate, unsaid feelings (but are they really unsaid)

presidential suite: one | two

Getting inside this place was alarmingly easy. Eunseok had forgotten what it was like to not be greeted by bellboys or a doorman who took his job too seriously. The most alarming difference was that he had to close his own door before his taxi drove off and he had to navigate through the delayed automatic doors to get to the front desk. 

Even if he lived the pampered lifestyle, he was still resourceful. He still had remnants of what it was like to be in places like these, no matter how hard he tried to forget. To find your room all he had to was give the man behind the front desk your description and a shitty excuse the man didn’t care to hear. He didn’t even get to finish his story before he pointed down the hallway.

“Third from the left.” He said without looking up.

Eunseok watched the man turn up the volume of the game to show him the conversation was done. He casted one more look to the bell that had DO NOT RING scribbled on a torn piece of paper tucked under it.The sign-in sheet next to the unused bell was simply a suggestion. The halved pencil attached to the clipboard had a broken piece of lead, all the names on the paper were fake. He only pulled his cap securely to his head before he started walking down the hallway.

His Golden Goose shoes matched the integrity of the carpet. His shoes were scuffed up, the artificial stains were a sign of wealth once you escaped this tax bracket. If this was the Ritz, the bare spots in the carpet would’ve been raved about on Architectural Digest. If this was on the opposite side of town the people rushing down the hallways would’ve been praised for their Indie Sleaze aesthetic. 

His avoidance of this life was on purpose, he didn’t want to even get the chance to muddy the lines. The actors who were Eunseok’s colleagues now had no idea of this life. They didn’t know that disheveled and falling apart wasn’t chic. They didn’t know about flickering lights that weren’t supposed to flicker, or the eery silence that was interrupted by whatever happens on the other side of these thin walls.

If this was a movie set it’d be a horror and the director would have to yell at Eunseok for being too relaxed. He’d be instructed to look scared walking past the night creatures drifting in and out of the place, he’d be told to look weary and hold everything close to him. But he couldn’t help it, no matter how much he hated it. This was home too. He knew the smell of mildew before he learned about notes of the fancy perfume brands that endorsed him. He was more familiar with the lower class etiquette of minding your fucking business before how to conduct himself on red carpets and fancy wrap parties. Eunseok hated that this was familiar, he hated that some part of him actually missed this. 

This was the one place Song Eunseok was just another John, another person walking up and down the hallways looking for a number on a door. The one place left in the world that no one would even bat an eye or turn a curious head wondering if that was really him, because why would a movie star be here? Why would they even care if they knew it was him?

He knocked once and pressed his ear to the door. The number matched from the text you sent him and matched the directions he was given at the front desk, but he wanted to be sure. The hallway was empty now except for him, his goose down jacket was loud when he reached for the doorknob.

“I’m in here.” You said on the other side. 

You didn’t have to come open the door. He remembered that here, nothing automatically locked. All he had to do was twist the knob and push past the rotting doorframe for it to open. 

The sight of you from the hallways made Eunseok’s heart drop. All of this was too familiar. You sitting on the edge of an uncomfortable mattress, the corners of the comforter tucked in tight to hide the fact that the mattress was dirty. A loud game show lighting up the corner of the room. The Price is Right shined on the aged wallpaper and the stained chair perpetually stuck in the corner. The bedside lamp with a pull chain and an ancient wooden bed frame that had seen better days. 

Eunseok had never been in this room before, but everything was familiar. This room was three years ago, before he hit his big break and back when he didn’t know if he’d make it in this world. This room was home when he couldn’t afford rent and where he found out one other person understood him. 

You were comfortable. Leaned back on your hands, looking up to Eunseok like you were telling him he was home. Your unwavering confidence confirmed that you weren’t putting on an act three days ago. You didn’t know how to navigate the space of wealth and fame like you did anonymity and privation of riches. Eunseok waited for you to hurriedly shut the door or hide your face or use a fake name. But you didn’t care, someone else passed by your open door you didn’t looked scared. You knew they would continue about their business, not worried about anyone else’s life but their own.

Eunseok tried to act like he had the upper hand. He acted like he shut the door quickly simply because he wanted to, not because he didn’t want anyone else to see you wearing the lingerie set he bought for you in Milan. He stayed in front of the door and crossed his arms, trying to ignore his heart hammering in his chest.

“You called me.” He said simply.

That was the truth. You called him about twenty minutes ago, breathing heavy into the receiver asking about his schedule for the next day. Eunseok lied and said that he was free, despite him having a redeye flight that was going to ship him to the other side of the world in a couple hours. Eunseok was well aware knew he didn’t have any time to waste, but he was still frozen in your entryway looking at you.

“You came.” The commercial break on the box set was louder than your voice, but you cut through it clearly. “Really quick.” You added.

This was also the truth.

You shifted on the bed and Eunseok swallowed his nerves, fake coughing to himself. Maybe he wasn’t home. This felt more like a trap he walked right into. He didn’t realize how quickly you stripped him of his wealth and the arrogance that came with it. Your text and quiet phone call made him think that he was in charge, but with you in front of him he was humiliated. He was reminded of the times he came to you like this in the beginning stages of your careers. Back when these were the only places you two could afford while booking odd jobs, back when the cost of travel and staying here almost took all your earnings. His past he spent so long trying to bury was unearthed and he felt compelled to fall to his knees and crawl to you. 

He knows you can see through him. Even if he can barely see you in the dark room he knows the elusive Eunseok-Before-The-Fame stands before you.

“I won’t talk about it if you won’t.” You say.

He has to think hard about what you’re referencing. When you let your hands slip out from under you to lay fully on the bed the only thing in his mind is you’re still the You-From-Before and how you’re waiting for him just a few lengthy strides away. 

He first thinks you’re talking about the fact that you two still most likely very much have feelings for eachother, but he messed it up by listening to his agents and you messed it up by telling him you hate him every chance you get. 

He then thinks you’re talking about the fact that he came running faster than you came running to him despite the fact that his schedule right now is currently busier than yours. 

Then, finally, Eunseok remembers what you’re actually talking about. The reviews for your movie came in from the film critics and they were less than shining. You were talking about the fact that your phone had to be shut off due to the panic of your team and you being flooded with people’s unprompted opinion of you. The fallout was so bad that Eunseok stepped in to defend you. 

(Although framing his tweet saying see it for yourself as defense was pretty egregious, it was the most his team would allow and as far as he could go before you’d skin him alive. But now your searches were filled with speculation of you two still being together. Eunseok knew that you being connected to him in any way was arguably worse for you than being talked about negatively. He assumed the situation was too complex to even address, which is why you referred to it as it and why avoided eye contact by sinking further to the bed).

So Eunseok didn’t push the situation any further. He just shed his jacket and hung it on the leaning coat rack, then his hat and shoes. He took off his shirt and then worked his pants down his legs, stepping out of it the closer he got to you. You moved closer to the center of the bed as Eunseok closed in, only looking to him once he was the one looking down on you. 

He leaned onto the bed, one hand pressed into the mattress beside your head and the other next to your ribcage as he leaned closer. He could see through the mask. Something he would’ve teased you for in his presidential suite he ignored per your request.

“How do you want it?” He asked.

Eunseok was too careful. He could tell you saw through his mask too. His hands stayed on the mattress for too long waiting for your guidance, his overconfidence was nowhere to be found. He was navigating you like he was that same threatened young actor again, before he learned to hide how scared he was of you and ending up in places like these again. 

“You’re in charge.” You said simply. 

Eunseok admittedly felt nervous hearing you give him all the authority. He hasn’t explicitly been in charge since you two were fake-together. Ever since he broke your heart and this arrangement started everything was a battle. If it wasn’t you stubbornly refusing to submit it was Eunseok refusing to give you what you wanted. You two had built up a relationship of being mutually unpleasant he forgot what it was like to be willing. 

As soon as your instructions fell from your lips you started touching his arms in anticipation of what he was going to do. He hesitated again. He wasn’t this nervous since his first award show. He didn’t even feel like this when he was announced to be in the running for that Emmy, but then he was so certain he’d lose. He also felt like he was losing in some sense here too. The window to let you know he wanted to talk about it was closing the more you touched him. He was at risk of being thrown out on his ass and in just his boxers if he told you how uncharacteristically tender and sentimental this moment felt to him, or if he said he genuinely enjoyed your performance in your recent project. 

Eunseok had to push himself off the bed to clear his mind. He didn’t need to tell you about yourself, it was clear you called him here to make you forget about everything, that’s the only reason you two ever called eachother. So Eunseok paid attention instead to the way you raised your body on the bed to follow him, eyes wide and waiting for instructions.

“Tell me what to do.” You said.

Eunseok swallowed thickly. The television is so loud, cheers from the audience interrupted his train of thought.

“Flip over.” He said.

You listened so fast it made his head spin. Before Eunseok knew it you were face down and ass up simply because he said so. If he had asked you to do this any other time you would’ve scowled at him, or you’d say make me if you were really feeling like being an asshole. But you were pliant, you even took the extra step to look back at him waiting for approval.

“Is this good?” You asked.

You really were an actress. Your whiny tone was perfect. The bed creaking as you wiggled your ass in the air was incredible set design. The television illuminating your pathetic pout was perfect. Eunseok didn’t feel worthy to see such a production. 

“Perfect.” Eunseok answered.

You even whimpered at his compliment instead of rolling your eyes. He almost dropped dead before he remembered he had his own role to play.

Eunseok tried to manually flip the switch before he went towards you again. His hands went to your back, grazing the silk fabric of your camisole. He took in the sight of your camisole folding further up your body, the silky fabric bunching at the beginning of your arch. He saw you in this position more than he saw your face during sex, but this was different. He saw the way you were reacting to him and how you bit at your lip in between each one of his touches. He couldn’t control himself from grabbing the back of your thigh roughly, causing you to jolt from the force. He looks to your face pressed into the mattress when he pinches your skin. Instead of chiding him you only let out a shaky breath.

“Feels good.” You say.

This was so unlike you. He can’t remember the last time a compliment fell from your lips in this setting. Any praise was always backhanded, followed by a way he could improve. You’re delivery is good BUT, your fingers feel nice BUT, your dick is big BUT. Eunseok was so use to it he was waiting for you to tack on an insult to your sentence, but you only waited for the next thing he’d do to you.

Eunseok nodded to himself and wasted no time pushing down his boxers. The thin sheet on the mattress rubbed uncomfortably against his knees as he got behind you. Being here should’ve disgusted him. If he was consistent, he would be making fun of the peeling wallpaper and the fact that you were acting like a pornstar instead of a high-brow actress in this cheap room. He should’ve teased you for needing his support online and in real life, maybe even throwing in something about how desperate you sounded over the phone. But Eunseok unfortunately felt unlike himself. He just blames it on the fact that you’re too distracting when he’s behind you and when you’re making sounds you both knew would leak through the walls into the hallway and neighboring rooms. 

“Isn’t this place disgusting?” You sighed.

The way you were thinking out loud was too obvious. You never had to do that before. Eunseok had more than enough ammunition when it came to you. Sometimes it was a competition of who could make a snide remark the fastest. He always won, he was quick-witted and delivered everything with a smirk that had you scowling and left you with clenched fists. But when you were practically inviting him to comment on the state of this place he couldn’t think of anything. For some reason this felt self-depreciating instead of separating himself from his old life.

When he guided your hips to press against his dick he already felt weak. Eunseok was silent behind you, his mind blank even if he knew exactly what you wanted him to say. But this place wasn’t all that bad. The smell was inviting, no one judged him and he was granted the anonymity he hadn’t felt in ages.

“Seok.” You push your hips back to grind against his. “Please.” You whine.

The desperation in your voice made Eunseok tilt his head back. You stopped moving your hips and completely swayed in Eunseok’s hold. He was slow dragging your hips against his. He could feel his precum staining your silk bottoms, he saw the small splotches he was leaving behind. 

“What do you need?” He asked.

The irony of the situation is not lost on him. When you two were together like this, being mean came like second nature. Sometimes it seemed like being abrasive was what got you two off. Denying pleasure and insulting eachother during sex was easy. The emotional labor of getting with someone who broke your heart was easily masked behind mutual hatred. Now, with you begging Eunseok to be mean to you he couldn’t think of anything. He knew your movie wasn’t going to tank once the public saw it. He knew you were good at acting, he knew that you were truly uncomfortable with the life of fame he thought you were suited perfectly for. 

Everything was suddenly off limits, he was suddenly no better than you. He was just like you, comfortable in these dingy rooms instead of penthouse suites. He wanted to tell you that he tossed and turned all night, counting threads of linen instead of sheep. The big windows terrified him and he always felt like he was being watched. He was just better than you at ignoring that voice in the back of his head that told him he didn’t deserve it.

Your hand that was pressed into the mattress reached for your waistband. Eunseok watched you pull your shorts down as far as you could reach. Eunseok quickly pulled your shorts down the rest of the way, and he watched you desperately kick them off your legs. Your hand wasn’t even floating for a second before Eunseok grabbed it. He had the answer to his question when he pinned your hand to your lower back and you moaned loudly. He knew exactly what you wanted when he leaned closer to your body to clasp his other hand around the back of your neck. 

You gasped at the sudden movement, the complete change in Eunseok’s demeanor. Your legs spread further on the mattress and Eunseok moved his knees to slot in the space. 

He leaned his body close to your back, causing the side of your head to go deeper into the mattress while you whimpered from the slight pain of your pinned hand. He had you trapped, fixed in the position he decided to put you in. 

Eunseok should make fun of you in your ear. You’re too damn proud for your own good, you’re too hard on yourself, you’re too closed off. But you also take up too much of his mind and Eunseok feels a wave of nostalgia pull at his chest.

“Fuck. Flip over.” Eunseok breathes.

He lets go of you and you’re on your back in seconds. He watches your nipples peak through the thin silk fabric. You’re bewildered, from both the eye contact and the way you listened to him so quickly. When he pulls your bottoms off the rest of the way you wordlessly work your camisole off. Eunseok puts both of the garments gently on the bed, completely opposite from his clothes that are spread across the floor. 

Eunseok has to hide the intimacy behind gathering both of your wrists in one hand and pinning it to the mattress.

He grabs his dick with his other hand, looking down between your two bodies as he gets closer to your cunt. Eunseok looks up just to see you preening your neck to get a view of it, too.

“I’ll take care of you, alright?” Eunseok assures into your ear. 

He has to hide his sincerity behind squeezing your wrist together until your lips part in pain. 

You stopped letting him into any other part of your life a long time ago. You stopped calling him about your roles or running lines by him. The last connection he has to you is fucking you on the rare occasion you’re not stubborn enough to let him know you need him. It’s already terrible that Eunseok is about to get shipped off to Japan and not have access to you for the better half of a year. He absolutely can’t afford to make this too tender despite everything in him wanting to do so, because the last thing Eunseok needs is for you to stop because he’s being too nice. So he tries to add the know-it-all tone to his voice, even though the need to take care of you only makes him want to live with you in this disgusting room for the rest of his life.

He’s relieved you buy his act. Immediately your head nods against the warm puffs of air fanning your ear and preened your hips forward to the best of your ability. Eunseok feels you uselessly trying to prop yourself up on your leg, just for it to slip out from underneath you again. He laughs because he can’t believe how obsessed he is with the way you move, you whine because you think he’s making fun of you.  

When he finally pushes inside of you with his chest flush against yours, he fully believes the nostalgia is going to kill him. Like you were plucked right from his memory, your hair tickles his face the same way as it did back then. The obnoxious commercial break projects the same way. If he wasn’t pressed to your ear he would’ve never heard the sound of relief that left your lips as he sunk further into you. You squeeze around him the same way you always have, so tight and warm.

When Eunseok pulls away from the side of your face, he is a breath away from your lips. Your eyes break from the water stains on the ceiling to look directly into Eunseok’s eyes. He can see the shock, in any other instance you’d mock him for looking so sorrowful. Kicked puppy is what you’d always call him when he looked at you like this, and mimic his pulled in eyebrows and mock the longing look in his eyes. But now you’re silent, and you mirror his expression with no malice.

“I’m going to Japan in a couple of hours.” Eunseok says.

He pulls out, despite your walls clinging to him desperately. He pushes back in and your back arches off the creaky bed. Your hands go to his shoulders, a desperate grip keeping him close.

“Congratulations.” You say.

You have to bite your lip when Eunseok repeats his slow thrust.

“I won’t be back for nearly a year.” He continues.

He purposefully lies about the amount of time he’ll be gone just to see your reaction. Your hand moves from his shoulder to wrap around his back. Eunseok feels you pull him in tighter as you attempt to hike your leg up.

“Once again, congratulations.” The break in commercials and the show starting again makes the room completely dark. You whine with parted lips when Eunseok flicks his hips upwards. “I don’t care if you fuck your costar, by the way.” 

You give him the opportunity to be mad on a silver platter. The option to squeeze your neck is right there, maybe even pulling at your hair until you whine from the pain. But he’s got you like this, it’s hard to add venom to your words. He just wants to caress your sweaty cheeks and tilt his head at the bothered tone of your voice. Also, Eunseok knows that if you didn’t care about the possibility of him fucking his costar you both wouldn’t be here. 

He moves to your neck to avoid you seeing his expressions. He pulls out until his tip prods your entrance and pushes in roughly. He feels your nails press into his back and he grips he sheets beside your head. He repeats the motion again wordlessly, and you moan right in his ear.

“God forbid.” Eunseok mutters against your skin.

He just now realizes that the air conditioning unit hasn’t kicked on once this entire time, and that it’s so late in the night the game show turned into a televangelists. The sweaty man on his television preaches about forgiveness. He preaches about the bible while the bed creaks underneath the movement. The two of you are drowning in irony and Eunseok can’t believe he’s the only one who notices.

“I didn’t fuck her you know.” He continues.

Her is alot of people. You have name dropped his costar he was with at Maria Hernandez when you were feeling particularly spiteful, but Eunseok uses her in an all encompassing way. Being a sex symbol is good for press and his career, but not so much for every other facet of his life. So Eunseok uses her as swipes his thumb against your jawline, then glides up to your cheekbone to let you know he hasn’t thought about anyone since he’s started thinking about you. 

“I don’t care.” You say.

Eunseok brings you forward by the back of your neck to kiss you. You immediately press against him harder than he kissed you and you stick your tongue into his mouth before he can pull away. Eunseok feels you grab at his arms and you pull him down until your back is on the bed. 

You try to wrap your legs around his waist again but Eunseok stops you by pressing his hand to the back of one of your thighs. He pushes more and more, until it’s close to resting on his shoulder and you moan from the stretch. With more of you open he goes deeper, pressing your body into the mattress.

“I really didn’t fuck her.” He repeats into your neck.

As if the way he was fucking you was supposed to prove his loyalty. Every movement is slow and deliberate, the way he sighs into your ear before pulling back to look down at you.

“Was she better than me or something?” You ask.

He is almost stunned to silence at how badly you want to fight. He knows that the two of you carefully fostered this type of vitriol, but he is shocked that you have doubled down to prevent anything sweet from happening. 

Still, even through your persistent on starting something Eunseok suddenly finds it in himself to be calmer. He shakes his head and moves back until your legs rest on his shoulders. He straightens them with his arm across your knee, and you curse from the stretch.

“I wouldn’t know.” He says truthfully.

Anything else he tries to say is interjected by the televangelist and the way your calves rest on his shoulders. Eunseok goes back and pulls you across the sheets to follow him. His long thrusts turn into ruts that makes your body jolt. Eunseok eyes the way your skin and chest moves from his thrusts, and he smirks when your hands go to your chest to hold them still.

“You should come visit me.” When you look up from where he’s fucking into you confused he pulls you towards him again. “In Okinawa.” He clarifies.

“Now why would I do that?” Your eyebrows knit together even more when his legs slap against yours. “Right there.” You whimper.

Eunseok makes sure to hit that stop again as he reaches for your hand. You refuse to give it to him, making him overlap yours on his chest as he comes closer. The stretch is too much, but if it’s not painfully obvious at this point you like the pain. 

You writhe on the mattress underneath him and it just makes him want you to visit him even more. His hand that was holding your legs straight goes to his mouth, and instantly one of your legs falls from his shoulders. You’re determined to keep the other one up there, even when Eunseok laves his fingers before dipping it between your legs. Your eyes are wide as you watch him, and like his touch is electric your back arches off the bed again when he touches your sensitive clit.

“Maybe I’ll go there and never come back.” Eunseok purposefully adds extra pressure to his finger and he feels your foot press into the side of his face. Your lips part but the only thing that comes out is a high-pitched moan. “Wouldn’t you miss me?” He asks.

“You’d come back.” You avoid a direct answer but you nod your head.

“If you asked.” He says quickly. 

The sounds you two make together is louder than anything else. Eunseok can still see the projection of light, but the only sound he can pick up is your voice.

“If you got another job here.” You stutter. 

You move your hand from Your chest and Eunseok takes your place. Now it’s your hand over Eunseok’s gripping tight.

“Or if you asked.” He repeats.

“I’m close.” You say. 

Eunseok nods and focuses on circling his fingers on your clit. He can feel it becoming more swollen underneath his touch, he can feel your walls sporadically seizing around his dick. Eunseok’s ruts became slow, drawing out pleasure as he tried to get your back to arch off the bed. When you do it again he lets your leg fall from his shoulder. He pressed his chest to yours, pressing kisses to the perimeter of your parted lips before kissing you directly. 

“I really would come back if you asked.” He says.

Your eyes are closed, when Eunseok separates from your lips you immediately catch them between your teeth. He sees your desperate nod clearly, and your hand wraps in his hair to push his face right back in the crook of your neck. Eunseok’s hand is stuck between your two bodies, flicking across your clit as you shiver underneath him. He can’t see your face as you moan pathetically, barely letting him know that you’re cumming before it’s too late. When he tries to pull out your leg hooks around his waist, keeping him inside of you. He pants against your flushed skin and burrows deeper into you as relief washes over him. 

He is collapsed on top of you when he hears the television again. The sound of you groaning underneath him pulls Eunseok back to reality, and his phone going off in his jacket pocket makes him look at the broken clock on the wall. He wishes your hands were still pressed into his back to keep him unbelievably close to you. They fell to your side at some point, and when Eunseok looks down at you, your eyes are open. He sees glassy surface and the tears dotting your water line so clearly. 

“You have to go to Japan.” You say it clearly, but Eunseok feels like it’s a question. Like he could just say nevermind and stay here with you.

“I’ll be back.” He says, still resting on top of you.

“In a year.” 

“Okinawa is a tourist destination.” 

[01zfan]

presidential suite | s. es

actor!eunseok x actress!reader | 10k words

loved the idea of actor eunseok so much i had to write a fic about it unfortunately.

contains: mentioning money and an uncomfortable relationship with it, reader is assumed to be a prostitute by hotel staff, dry humping on a couch like horny teenagers, eunseok and the reader are enemies kinda

presidential suite: one | two

Your taxi finally made the final turn into the roundabout of the hotel. The otherwise dark drive was suddenly illuminated with the bright yellow lights of the lobby and drop-off lane with bellboys ready to tend to the rich with their luggage carts in toll. The hotel trolleys were gold plated and the young boys were clad in black, from their black polished shoes to their glove-bound hands that covered their open-mouthed yawns and picked at their faces in boredom. 

When you saw the boys stand at attention waiting for your cab to come to a halt you felt a pang in your heart. Even during the night California was much too hot to be wearing a full suit, and you imagined the pay didn't match the manual labor their job demanded. When you saw their tired faces preemptively light up with the dead customer service smile you were taken back to those days yourself. Young, broke, no clear visions of your future. The memories of working late night odd jobs that didn't pay you enough still plagued your mind. Sometimes you still found yourself using your fake customer service voice, overly cheery with the intent to please by any means necessary. But that isn't to say your new wealth suited you any better. Sometimes you went months without looking at your banking statements, and you were so plagued by guilt that you couldn't identify.

Your guilt made you insist on carrying your luggage up yourself and tipping the bellboys extra despite them not doing any work and taking pictures with them even if you were tired. Because of your guilt you would slip into your customer service mode, and then because you were acting fake cheery you would feel even more guilty. The endless cycle was a downwards spiral, leaving you with an acidic taste in your mouth and making you feel like you've made a fool of yourself. It made you incredibly sweaty too, and your back was already lined with sweat from the excessive layers you wore.

You were lucky that today you weren’t checking into the hotel, technically you weren’t here at all. To everyone’s knowledge—including your team’s—you were back at your motel getting rest in preparation for your long day tomorrow. 

You made the decision after filming, one that you told yourself was impulsive even if you had the directions to this hotel saved on your navigation app the second you landed. The person you were here to see told you where he was staying with a simple text. You replied with an even more simple fuck you before going radio silent. He replied with a you wish, and five hours later you were sneaking away in the dead of night.

You left the motel quietly to avoid suspicion from the paparazzi that were hellbent on catching you in the middle of something juicy enough to sell. You called the yellow taxi a five minute walk away from your motel, covered head to toe in black. When you felt how nervous the taxi driver was seeing someone in several layers of clothes in the middle of summer come into the car you felt guilty. Part of you debated on taking off your mask and shedding the jacket, but you didn’t know what he knew. You didn’t know if middle aged man had the paparazzi on speed dial next to that faded picture of his family paper clipped to his foldable windshield, ready to tell them that an a-lister was in his cab going to a hotel that was very much not hers in the middle of the night. Your paranoia made you keep your identity hidden and deepen your voice as you gave him the directions to the hotel across town.

The taxi ride was spent in complete silence. The only sound was from the occasional squeaks from the vinyl seats and the low, low volume of The Hot 100 playing on the radio. As the radio continued playing you realized how out of the loop you were when it came to music. You tried to remember the last time you had a chance to listen to an album in full. Maybe you listened to the latest project of the person that did the soundtrack on your last movie? Something playing in the background as sat in a makeup chair getting ready, or the white noise of rain as you tried to force yourself to fall asleep?

Your schedule was too packed to enjoy anything but work. Your schedule was so much to the point that you were operating on autopilot. Your brain was just a turning cog, something that send a signal to your mouth to open and your limbs to move. You couldn't handle anything more than that most days. You were so lost that your personal assistant set your schedule as your lockscreen, trying to force you to remember how present you’d have to be the following day. The method seemed outlandish, and the schedule was hideous each time you opened your phone, but came in handy; when you turned on your phone to check the time you were reminded of the day you’d have tomorrow.

Hair and makeup: 5:30AM

Breakfast: 7:00AM

Interview #1: 7:45AM

Interview #2: 8:30AM

On set: Filming Scenes 48-52, 77, & 83 9:15AM-9:15PM

Looking at the schedule made your head spin. You already felt your body grow weary at the thought of the work waiting for you the next day.

But did you really have the right to be tired when you were on your way to a hotel getting ready to do anything but sleep? 

Behind your mask you slowly started mouthing the lines to the scenes you’d be shooting tomorrow in an effort to make use of the time you were wasting. If your very first agent could see you now, he’d be disappointed. You could see him so clearly, with his nose pointed to the air as he talked about if he was you, he’d never do something so stupid. 

You rolled your neck and put a hand on the knot forming at the junction of your shoulder. You dug your fingers underneath your jacket and shirt to prod at the tense muscle, trying to find some form of relief. Now the sound of your jacket moving filled the car, and the sound of your heavy sigh behind your mask followed behind it. You can admit that your newfound wealth did make you feel comfortable in the confined spaces like these ones. You weren't scared to let your presence be known or your discomfort be heard in the back of taxi cabs. You also had your fair share of revelations in the backseats of cars. Your first callback was in the back of a car like this one, the first time you felt like the paparazzi were actually looking for you was in the back of a tinted out van. You just wish you could feel something like that again, giddiness instead of this terrible sinking feeling.

You put your head back and let out a sigh, closing your eyes to try and find a reason why you were doing all of this. In the beginning you loved it, but now it felt like you were grasping at straws to find a solid reason. The art? The money? Because it feels good? Because you like being held?

You could feel the taxi driver look back at you from the rearview mirror, you could tell he was on edge from the way you were behaving. You had half a mind to comfort him, to pull down your mask and ask a question about the current song playing on the radio. But you only blinked hard to try and will away the tight band of ache forming around your head before going back to your phone. 

Who isn’t on edge this late at night? You said while scrolling through the script. To be relaxed late at night was a privilege, one that was revoked when you got your first paycheck as an actress.

You told yourself that it’d all pay off a million times over in between reading the lines of the script and suffering through every single pothole in Los Angeles. You told yourself each time your but raised in your seat that was another million in the box office. Each car that had their high beams on and blinded you was another accolade. You were so caught up in your mantra you didn’t even realize you were at your destination until the taxi driver spoke for the first time.

“Is here okay, miss?” He asked.

You looked out the window to see the hotel. Before you could prep your fake voice and tell him to park on the side of the building the taxi pulled into the curved driveway and stopped in the pickup area. 

From your tinted window you watched the bellboys flock to you, excited for some sort of work this late into the night. You looked at them motioning for the driver to pop the trunk as you took in the sight of the large building in front of you. You pressed your forehead to the window and still couldn’t see the top, only lights from the rooms that still had people awake and the never ending skyline. 

When the view became too much—when everything became too much—you took another deep breath and rested your body against the backseat. You heard the low music from the radio cut off completely as your taxi driver rolled down his window.

“There’s nothing in there!” The driver yelled to the bellboys.

They scattered from the trunk and went to your side of the car next. A trio rushing, and then singled down to one when they realized all of them couldn't open your car door.

They pulled you from your breathing exercise to fully immerse you in the five-star hotel experience. One of the bellhops offered the side of his forearm to you, an invitation to treat him as a living breathing step ladder to get you out of the car. You could feel the air conditioning on full blast from the grand entrance of the hotel, chilling your sweating body.

You quickly reached in your pocket and grabbed a wad of cash, not caring to look at the number on the meter before handing it to the driver. You assumed it was the right amount by how wide his eyes got and the extra arm of a bellhop that came into your line of sight.

“Are you going to be in the area in an hour?” You asked.

The taxi driver nodded, his eyes still fixed on the cash.

“I’ll be here, miss.” He said.

You nodded and grabbed the bellhops arm, feeling your body get pulled from the backseat of the cab to the curb. One of the bellhops told you to watch your step as you were fully hoisted up.

You couldn’t say thank you before another bellhop closed the door. As the taxi driver drove out of the drop off area the other bellhop lead you to the front of the hotel. None of you spoke and you stumbled trying to go through the motions of a life you still weren’t suited for.

The smaller door into the lobby was opened for you by a man in a different suit, one that had an enamel pin of the hotels logo pinned to his lapel. You wish there was a name badge, so you could atleast pretend you were interacting with another human being.

“No luggage, madame?” Enamel Pin asked.

You shook your head, instinctually gripping the arm of the bellboy a little harder. You took in the sight of the lobby behind Enamel Pin, from the white marble floor and the stairs with solid gold handrails.

“No.” You swallowed when you tilted your head and saw the large chandelier. “I’m just visiting someone.” You said.

The air seemed to shift as Enamel Pin and the bellhops eyed you down. You realized the situation long after everyone else, what it could possibly mean for a young woman to arrive at a hotel with rich clientele once the sun went down. But the working class don���t ask questions, they only follow procedure and assumed in hushed voices during their lunch breaks that there are prostitutes coming into their place of work. 

So Enamel Pin doesn’t ask you to clarify, he only points towards the concierge and flicks his head subtly the same time the bellhop goes back to standing outside to wait for their next rich customer.

“You can check in at the front desk, miss.” He says.

You’re no longer a madame. You felt like you’ve been striped of a title, you aren’t the distinguished madame but instead the dirty miss who is here to do nothing but tarnish the reputation of this fine establishment. You almost pull down your mask and take off your cap to reveal your true identity, that you’re the one starring in a blockbuster every summer and receiving endless praise for your indie projects. You’re tempted to throw a wad of cash at Enamel Pin and yell I’m nominated for a fucking Oscar, you dipshit! But you keep your words to yourself. You knew by the time you woke up the next morning you’d be circling the gossip pages, your identity badly hidden in a not-so blind item. 

Young and rising actress making it rain in the hotel lobby where her former costar ex-fling is staying. You could see it so clearly, and you could see the disappointment of your current agents face even clearer. So you only nod your head and start walking towards the desk, wishing that the bellhop stayed around a little longer to get a tip.

“Who are you visiting today?” The concierge asks.

You lean closer to the desk, trying to hide all evidence that you’re nervous. You assume the same fake deep voice again, trying to sound so different from the movies you’ve starred in.

“Song Eunseok.” You answer.

The concierge looks from her computer at the name. You thought places of this caliber would be a little more inconspicuous. But she is wide eyed, even leans in to make sure you said the right name.

“Song Eunseok?” She asks.

You can practically see the way her eyes light up at the mention of the actor. You still haven’t come to terms that he’s not you’re little secret anymore, that he’s not the same boy you saw at all your low-brow auditions when you first came to the scene. He was an international heartthrob now, one that made women lose their tact and become unprofessional.

No one knew what type of person he truly was underneath all the charm and the good looks.

But it was arguably worse that you knew and were still putting yourself in these predicaments just to see him.

You were in one now, as the concierge started to realize you were a girl going up to his presidential suite dressed like a shadow and like you were hiding something under all of those layers. 

She went back to looking at the computer, going over the approved list of visitors.

“What’s your name, miss?” She asked.

In the beginning of your careers when Eunseok still slept in motels and poorly managed inns you never had to worry about checking in. There wasn’t a concierge in a pantsuit but instead it was a man in a stained shirt who didn’t even look up from the game on the television. He would only slide you a key and say Don’t make too much of a mess before going back to his regularly scheduled program. 

You were so used to the anonymity that came with being a nobody that you panicked at the question. Your mind scraped through the people in Eunseok’s circle, who would be on the list so you wouldn’t have to give up any of your information. You thought about Minjeong and Wonbin, Eunseok’s stylists and then went to his agent Shotaro. The concierge looked at you expectantly, raising her eyebrows waiting for your response.

“Sohee. Lee Sohee” You adjusted your mask on your face to try and add sureness to your voice. “I’m Song Eunseok’s personal assistant.” You added.

The lady looked at the list then looked to you. Her eyes stayed on your face mask then flitted up to your tinted shades and baseball cap. You could tell she wanted nothing less than to let you upstairs. In her mind she was protecting her precious actor as she reached for the landline in front of her.

“Let me call Monsieur Song to let him know he has a visitor.” She said.

You nodded, feeling another layer of sweat line your back as she looked over the room number. Each button she pressed into the keypad vibrated your skull. Over your shoulder you swore you could feel Enamel Pin staring at you, ready to escort you out.

Maybe you should really get back to your agent on the spy movie she pitched to you. You already had real life experience of lurking in the shadows and going on top secret missions where there was so much at stake. Maybe instead of risking your career you could play a role that would help propel it further. 

You pulled your baseball cap as far as it could go and settled into your jacket more. This was the part of the movie where the phone rang for an embarrassingly long amount of time, forcing the concierge to ask for your ID. This was the part that it’d be revealed you were not Lee Sohee, and you were not Song Eunseok’s personal assistant. You were arguably something much worse, something way more valuable to a concierge looking for some extra cash.

Just when she was able to ask you to materialize some form of identification, Eunseok answered the phone. You and the woman drew in a pensive breath the same.

“Monsieur Song. Sorry for calling at this hour but there is a Lee Sohee here to see you.” She said.

Your eyes were focused on the transmitter, trying to imagine Eunseok on the other end of the line. The concierge was imagining him too, she turned her body and played with the handset cord like they were in their own private conversation. You leaned further against the front desk in an effort to hear the conversation. You heard the low hum of a voice on Eunseok’s end but couldn’t make out a response. 

The concierge acknowledged your presence again when she took a quick peak over her shoulder. The smile she had faded slightly as she hummed a yes into the transmitter.

“She said she’s your personal assistant.” She said.

Your eyebrows raised as you heard no response on the other end of the line. For a second you thought that Eunseok was going to tell the concierge that Sohee isn’t a girl and would never be up this late at night. But instead you hear more low hum, and the concierge nods again.

“Yes sir. I’m sending her up now.” She says.

She puts the handset on the switch hook and you can see the wistful look in her eyes before she turns to you again. She pulls a sticky note from the pile of her supplies and a pen. After quickly scratching a number onto the note she slides it to you.

“Sir Eunseok is at the top floor in room 7319.” She says.

The relief of not being caught still has you frozen. You take a moment to clear your throat and reach across and grab the note.

“Thank you.” You say. 

You’re tempted to slide money across the marble countertop to the concierge, but something holds you back. Maybe it’s the last bit of sense you have left that tells you to try and not make it look painfully obvious you’re doing something you’re not supposed to do. By the time you take the note the concierge is already doing something else that involves her computer. She’s switching between tabs and typing maniacally as if you no longer exist. She doesn’t spare you a second glance as you turn on your heel and head towards the elevator. 

As you walk across the lobby to the elevators, you imagine the sound of heels clicking across the floors. Even underneath the heel of your flat worn out shoe you can tell the floor so badly wants to make a noise, that it wants your presence to be known. You purposefully make your steps light as a feather to try and leave no trace of yourself behind. 

You find true relief when you’re in front of the elevators and hear the sound of someone coming in, booming about their flight and chatting with Enamel Pin. You silently thank the man for being unashamed to make noise as you press the button to the top floor.

As you watch the red analog number climb you settle further into the corner. Your eyes mindlessly travel around the tiny box, peering from corner to corner until you see it. The small camera hangs from the corner diagonal from you, but it’s pointed at you all the same. You stay unmoving in your spot and you imagine the security guard in the basement staring at your unmoving moving image. You don’t take a step until the elevator doors finally open to the top floor, and you let out a pensive breath when you step across the threshold into the hallway.

Your eyes are fixed on the carpet underneath your feet as you make your way down the hall. Your eyes wander from your worn shoes in contrast to the fresh carpet as you look for an imperfection across the fabric. You don’t see the dark stains caused by God knows what or fraying threads, you don’t feel parts of the carpet that were threadbare from constant foot traffic. All you see is proof of a well managed building. The difference is already staggering, you’re reminded of your motel room that had unknown stains and janitors that did illegal substances in the supply closet. You could’ve sworn there was noise coming from every room on your floor; noise surpassed the tearing wallpaper and leaked into the dimly lit hallways. The sounds of program television and people bounced off the walls of the narrow hallway and even found its way into your room. You had to blast The Price is Right to try and drown out everything, but you slept soundly. You felt more comfortable in the bed you had to check for bugs and bloodstains than you did now. 

The hallway you walked down now was completely silent. You strained your ears for signs of life, looking past the doors of the suites imagining someone was there. You were the only source of noise. Each time your heel scraped the carpet you flinched, afraid that someone was going to open one of the doors and shush you to death. The fear of being caught making noise made you knock on Eunseok’s door quietly, three small taps before you brought your arm back to your side.

You knew that Eunseok was going to make you wait outside. He had a habit of forcing you to revel in the lengths you’d go through just to see him. You were in the hallway, completely covered, but still so exposed. You imagined any second one of the doors would open and there’d be a camera pointed at you, and the very next day your career would be over. You shuffled on your worn feet and looked back tot the elevator. Maybe the taxi was still close. You could go back to your motel and get enough rest for your long day tomorrow.

Before you could even fully consider that option the door opened. Light filtered into the dim hallway, and past the tiny gap in the door you saw Eunseok looking down at you. Despite all the layers and all traces of your face being hidden you saw Eunseok’s eyes soften before part of his smile was revealed.

“Kinda late, isn’t it Sohee?” He asked, smile getting even bigger.

You pushed at the door despite the chain keeping it locked in place.

“Let me in.” You ordered.

Eunseok scoffed but didn’t even close the door all the way before getting the metal latch off. Even when there was only a slit of you visible between the cracks of the door Eunseok didn’t take his eyes off you, like he was afraid you would disappear into thin air. He opened the door wide for you, and you stepped into the entryway past him.

You heard the door close and the dead bolt lock as you took in Eunseok’s room. The corridor was small, even smaller than the one at the motel with half the amount of rooms and you understood why. You looked at the hotel room—this presidential suite—to see the full kitchen and California King sized mattress. There was a full sofa, clean and inviting in front of the flatscreen plasma television. Your motel room had scratchy seats and unknown stains on a cramped loveseat with an ancient box television that had screen burn in the bottom corner. The ceilings above you were high, maybe even higher than the ones of your apartment back in New York. There was definitely a better view, from the large windows it looked like you were at the highest point of California.

You were still taking in the view when Eunseok put his hands on your shoulders. You felt him try to turn you, but when you didn’t give in he started pulling at the sleeves of your jacket.

“You told them you were Sohee?” He asks. 

Eunseok guides your arms out of your jacket as you walked further into his room. You never understood what a presidential suite meant or what separated it from the other types of rooms in a hotel. But you saw what parts of it was illuminated from the small light hanging above you, and how it seemed to stretch even further past the darkness. 

“Because Sohee is a feminine name.” You reason.

Your voice sounds far off as you try to conceptualize how much wealth is in the room. The marble countertops with the stove embedded in and the open bathroom door that exposes the large shower. Your mouth only drops further but Eunseok is unaffected as his heavy hands drag down your arm, feeling your clammy newly exposed skin.

“Could’ve said you were Minjeong.” Eunseok whispers from behind you. His head lowers down to yours, whispering in your ear as you continue to look around the dark suite.

He can’t see the way you shake your head from his suggestion when he turns away to put your jacket on the hook by the large door. He comes back to you and puts his hands on your shoulders again, rubbing your arm and messing with the end of your sleeve.

“I don’t want the gossip pages to have her name in their mouths.” You respond.

Your mouth feels dry when you turn your head and see the light fixtures that hangs from the ceiling. Eunseok bends down to kiss your shoulder but stays there, whispering into your neck.

“You’re that paranoid?” He asks.

As if a switch had been flipped, you turn away from the wealth to look at Eunseok. He already has that knowing smiling etched into his features, like he knew he was pushing your buttons.

His hands reached up to take your mask off, smiling even bigger at the pout that he knew was already there. He lifts your cap and takes off your shades, gathering all the things you used to hide yourslef in the bowl of your upside down cap. He ruffles your hair and pinches your cheek, causing you to reach up and smack his hand away.

You can tell that Eunseok is trying to corral you further into the suite, but your feet are planted. You don’t think you could move past the space of the entryway even if you wanted to. The thought of you not deserving to see so much luxury keeps you focused on Eunseok’s amused face. You don’t dare to look at the walk-in closet next to him or the pristine paintings hanging on the wall.

“No woman is in a mans hotel room this late at night unless—”

“Unless what?” He asks.

Eunseok tilts his head to the side. You hate when he interrupts you. You hate when he looks at you so intently waiting for what you’re going to say next. You hate that he’s so used to the wealth that he wears plain designer shirts to bed. You hate that he seems more comfortable in his skin while you're ready to crawl out of it. You hate that he tilts your chin up when you try to avert eye contact.

“Unless she’s a murderer or a prostitute.” You say. You make sure to emphasize the first word, as if you were capable of hurting Eunseok.

Eunseok takes his hand away from your face to laugh. It’s a dry chuckle but it has something blossoming in your chest, a warmth that’s different from the layers of clothes you were wearing earlier. It's equally strangling, and equally makes the knot form at the base of your neck again.

“I did think you were a stalker at first.” Eunseok walks past you, forcing you to follow him across the room. He subjects you to his wealth, he practically rubs it in your face as he lazily pads to the couch like he owns the place. His black tee and low sweatpants reveals the lowest part of his back for you. You let your eyes stay focused on that as he continues to walk towards the couch. “Sohee would never be here at this hour.” He says.

“But you let me up anyway?” You ask.

You can barely see Eunseok’s expression as he sits on the couch in the near darkness. You thought it would look like he was photoshopped against the backdrop of the Los Angeles skyline, but he was a natural. Eunseok settled into the gray modular couch and put his arm on the back like it was second nature. He spread his legs out and shrugged before looking behind him at the night sky.

“I figured it was you.” He answered.

Whatever you and Eunseok had truly wasn’t all that complicated. Yes you cursed him out before showing up at his suite in the middle of the night and yes you two must hate eachother to some degree. But your separate careers grew side by side, you came out during the summer and he dominated the winter. In the fall that following year—when your careers were still fresh and you two would’ve agreed to anything to chase the fame—you were told about the opportunity you had to grow your careers and build more hype around the project you were both starring in. 

Looking back, you could admit you had fun. When work dragged on or you were feeling extra lonely you’d look at old issues of the tabloids, thumbing through the pages until you got to the gossip and celebrity couple section. You'd look down the doggy eared pages of the magazine and look at the paparazzi traps disguised as dates. You looked at the two of you walking around in matching athleisure wear on the way to pilates with Eunseok trailing behind you holding your things and the infamous Central Park date where you two played with children and dogs that weren’t yours. There was even that one photo of you in the bottom corner of the page with Eunseok's hand on your lower back guiding you to your chauffeur. That date felt very real. The drinks you held in your hand was real liquor, you felt actual excitement and the buzz of being in a Hollywood party. Eunseok's hand that reached across the back row of seats to buckle you in was real. The way he pinched your cheek and told you teasingly you should let loose more often was also very real.

The wobbly view you had of him was the same you had now. His pointed noise and high cheekbones, the softness in his expression that defied his sharp features. His hair still fell the same as he continued looking at the outside, picking at the top of the couch like he was subtly trying to find an imperfection. Back then in the back seat of the tinted SUV he was red in the face, looking out the windows in awe of the flashing cameras. Back then you only had your bleary sights on him, you only took in the smile on his face instead of the sounds of paparazzi calling out your name and orders to roll down a window.

That fall you two seemed to be the worlds couple, coming from humble beginnings and navigating the glamour of Hollywood together. You two attended every event attached at the hip, wearing a something that complimented the other and said praises during each interview. For a moment you thought everything was right in the world. The money had started rolling in, the two of you compared checks like kids compared trading cards, wide eyed and passing them in your two-person circle. Eunseok sent you the magazine issue to your new high rise loft in Astoria that had you two on the cover. We look cute together was the note he wrote in permanent marker on the back, you smiled and ran your fingers over the black ink, thinking about how he thought of you all the way in Tempe, Arizona.

Eunseok was the first person you would call when you got a positive feedback, and he was the first one you went to when you ended up losing a role. You believed for a long time the relationship was the same both ways, but when your joint project came out your relationship did what it was supposed to do. You two found solid roles and your names started being mentioned in the acting world. The same time you found out you were in the running for Best Actress the magazines found out the one thing that sells better than love was drama. So less than a week later you found Eunseok snuggled up to the co-star of his upcoming movie underneath the trees at the Maria Hernandez park, playing fetch with a Goldendoodle and cooing at a toddler that was hobbling towards them. 

The sides chosen only fueled your anger. People believed that Eunseok wronged you (they were right) and that you were the best thing that ever happened to him (they were also right). Others didn’t really care, but still participated in the feud to say that at the end of the day it didn’t matter because Eunseok had more accolades (they were unfortunately right). 

Your hatred for Brooklyn and Eunseok started then, you cut him off without hesitation and ignored his texts begging for reconciliation. You put your nose your work without coming up for air, replacing every moment you had with him in favor of lines for your upcoming films.

Somewhere along the way in the middle of your bout of no contact he caught you (or you caught him, that was still unclear) at a wrap party in NoHo. Minjeong, who you built a real friendship with during your very fake relationship with Eunseok, promised you that he wouldn't be there due to a conflicting schedule. For a moment at her wrap party you were at peace, free to drink due to the lack of press and phones that were collected at the door. But when your nth shot of the night started tasting like water, Eunseok arrived. He took the pregame route, showing up to the party already drunk and haughty like the jackass he truly was. When you were at your weakest and the party was winding down, you two set your eyes on eachother. You narrowly tried to avoid him, bobbing and weaving through the crowd of unknown cast and crew members and their plus ones as he weaved through right behind you. The further you went to try and hide the further you strayed from the crowd.

You ended up in the bathroom (the only one that didn't have people doing coke inside), trying hard to close the door on Eunseok's Golden Goose shoe. You were slurring that his shoes were hideous and he was telling you about the botched trailer for your movie one minute then the next you were on top of the small sink spreading your legs and swapping spit with him. You told him you hated him and his stupid movies and he nodded while sticking his fingers in your mouth. You told him none of it was real and he hesitated, your spit covering his lips in a thin glossy layer before he said sorry so genuinely it made you almost regret everything. You never meant to fold, you never meant to be anything less than cruel to him, but Eunseok grabbed your hands the same way he did when there were no cameras around and kissed each individual knuckle while keeping bleary eye contact with you. He truly seemed sorry when he slid inside of you with a quiet sigh, and you seemed to accept his apology by the way you begged him to go faster. 

Something that was meant to be a messy and regretful one time thing for closure happened again, and again, and again. Wherever you were working on for a movie Eunseok seemed to be trailing close behind for his own project. You two begrudgingly came to an agreement, a secret kept behind closed doors. 

Despite the level of trust needed for something so reckless you found it hard to be with him. Sometimes you questioned if you even liked Eunseok, or if you were just blinded by the false sense of familiarity and the lasting effects of the dopamine rush from the PR stunt. He was nothing like that boy from humble beginnings you met at your very first audition, the one you felt like understood you. Then he wore beat up shoes and had a hole in his polo where he accidentally tore the fabric trying to remove the logo. The same boy who talked about name brands with disdain was endorsed by several now. The boy that was so afraid to take up space spread out on the Italian leather upholstery and patted his lap like it was a seat.

“Don’t be afraid to get comfortable.” He says.

You start by taking off your shoes, carelessly kicking them behind you where you saw Eunseok’s other pair of shoes lay.

“I can’t get comfortable.” You say.

Him rolling his eyes takes your attention away from the silk sheets on the bed and the large windows that give a full view of the city.

Eunseok picks at the stitching of the upholstery and focuses on his prying fingers. He focuses on the integrity of the couch, lips pulled into a scowl before he turns to you. Almost instantly a taunting smile replaces his features as he settles into the couch again. 

“Just because your fake humble doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy a little luxury.” He taunts.

Despite the snarky comment Eunseok still holds his hand out to you. 

“I’m fake humble because I like to save money?” You asked.

Even with your eyes raised in anger and surprise at the jab you start walking towards Eunseok. His smile gets wider with each step you take. The floors are cold against your feet but you feel warm all over. You tell yourself it’s the rage, your body that's burning itself out from being overworked.

Eunseok doesn’t speak again until you stand in front of him. He brings his hand from his lap to hold your waist, a steady grip to keep you in place. He dares to lean forward and press a kiss to your clothed stomach before looking directly up at you. With a sigh your hands go to his shoulders and your head lulls to the side to look down at him.

“I saw how well your last movie did.” This time he lifts up your shirt to press a kiss to your bare waist. He pulls you in a little closer by the belt loop of your jeans before messing with the button. “An extra couple hundred here and there won’t break your bank anymore, baby.” He responds.

"I'm not your baby." You say it quietly, your hand rubbing his hair slowly.

You feel the tension and the forming headache melt away like rain. You already feel relaxed when you shake your head. The need to fight back leaves your mind when you feel Eunseok come forward with his other hand to undo the button.

Your body turns with each pull and before you know it the denim pools at your ankles. You step out of them and Eunseok sees it as his chance to pull you onto his lap. When you try to straddle him he directs both of your legs to one side. You stumble into the position, unsure what Eunseok has in mind for the night until you sit on his lap sideways and he brings an arm around your shoulders to keep you close. 

You can already feel his dick twitching underneath you, but before you can mock him you’re distracted by the feeling of Eunseok running his hands up and down your bare legs. He inches closer and closer where you need him most before retreating. He repeats the motion of tracing up and down your leg over and over again. It’s not long before you’re squirming in his lap and keeping your eyes on anything but the rest of the room. When the teasing becomes too much you finally grab one of Eunseok’s hands and lead it towards your cunt.

“Just because you flaunt doesn’t mean I have to.” You say.

Your words lack bite, the edge is completely gone from your breathy tone. Seeing you remain steadfast while becoming weaker and weaker only fuels Eunseok to make you suffer even more. His hand restricts yours to the side and he waits just above your waistband. He looks at you silently with a pout on his face as your stomach jumps from being so close to getting what you need. Your hand pulls against his grip uselessly and suddenly you're too embarrassed to look at Eunseok anymore.

Your head tilts towards the high ceilings as he finally pushes past your waistband. You arch your back and he pulls you closer before pressing his fingers deep to your clit with his cold middle finger.

“Is that what you tell yourself when you wear designer straight off the runway just to walk around the Upper West Side?” He asks.

Before you can defend yourself Eunseok presses deeper into your clit, pulling a pained whine from your lips and a pathetic thrust. His refuses to trace down to your slit to collect your slick before messing with your clit. Somehow it is infuriating but erotic that he knows how to not touch you but does it anyway. He doesn't treat you sweetly, he doesn't do what your hands guide him to do. He does what he wants, he goes straight to picking up the speed on your clit that sends currents through your body.

When he realizes you can’t speak anymore only then does he dip his hand down further, gathering the slick from your hole and prods your entrance with his two fingers. You feel the tension and pressure from his fingers, you preemptively let out a sigh and a small shake when Eunseok kisses your temple. The kiss is passive and small, but it makes you relax enough for Eunseok to slide his fingers inside of you.

You practically suck his two fingers in, and you whine out to the large light fixture above you. You turn your head to Eunseok’s chest seeking some type of comfort but he gives you nothing of the sort. Even if you are cradled in his lap he doesn’t baby you, he doesn’t coo at you affectionately while pumping his fingers in an out of your heat.

“Seriously. You think just because you stay at The Struggle Inn on the other side of the tracks you’re humble?” Eunseok presses the pad of his finger against your walls for emphasis. “This little persona you got going on makes me sick sometimes.” He laughs.

“Sometimes?” You breath.

You let out a labored whine from the feeling of Eunseok playing with you. He’s making a mess of you and you’re almost ashamed that you do nothing about it. Your hand reaches back to dig into the firm cushion of the couch as a means to ground yourself. You see Eunseok look from your clothed cunt to you, nodding his head as he pushes his fingers in deeper. You can feel his soft fingers, you swear you can feel each individual knuckle as your back arches. When your chest is high enough he kisses your covered nipple until you lower it out of his lips reach.

“Sometimes it’s so cute seeing your eyes get all wide like you don’t have money. Kinda feels like I’m ruining you.” Eunseoks’ free hand travels up your back and moves your body close to his. Your hands go back to gripping his shoulders instead of keeping yourself propped up. You lean all your body weight on Eunseok’s side and his arm as he runs his eyes up and down your twitching body. “You’re committed to the bit, I gotta give you that.” He laughs.

“Not a bit.” You respond.

You don’t know how he manages to string so many words together during times like this. You’re all for the jabs at ones character—especially Eunseok’s—but you think it is extremely unfair when you can’t form a coherent sentence that doesn’t involve whimpering his name. He further tips the scale by plunging another finger into your heat and using his hand to lean your head against his shoulder. One of your legs stays on the couch but the other slides off, opening yourself up to him even more.

“Slumming it in a motel while filming a movie with a half million dollar budget.” Despite being in a position of comfort Eunseok’s words have the opposite effect. He’s sturdy against you, unmoving from your body twitches and sudden movements when he hits that spot he has memorized. He so clearly wants to aggravate you while bringing you pleasure, he wants you to fight with him while he bends his hand at an odd uncomfortable angle just for you. “Aren’t you sick of it?” He asks.

“No. I’m not.” You try to bite back but your body preens forward into Eunseok’s fingers and your head leans fully into his shoulder. “Not everyone becomes a classist pig after a little success in the box office.”

“It was actually after I got my first Emmy.” Eunseok’s hand wraps around your waist and brings you further into his lap. Eunseok speeds up his hand as he brings his face closer to yours, so close your clammy cheeks touch. “You wouldn’t know anything about that though, would you?” He sneers.

Everything always goes back to that fucking Emmy. You still remember being up against him in the Outstanding Limited or Anthology Series. Your project was your one and only attempt at anything that wasn’t a movie, and it was Eunseok’s first of many. You remember thinking about how nice the titles of your shows looked side by side when Eunseok won. The fan wars that were fueled by Eunseok’s win plagued your social media feed for weeks. You still periodically saw the clip of Eunseok appearing on screen before the camera cut to you in the crowd. 

“The award wasn’t just for you.” You dig your hands into Eunseok’s waist to try and ground yourself. “You’e not that special. Just a one trick pony.” You lie.

Your heart only has the chance to drop for a second from your lie before Eunseok chuckles again. His fingers inside of you don’t even falter from your jab, instead his other hand pushes your leg until you move it to one side. Your other leg comes up from the ground and before you know it you’re straddling Eunseok as his fingers continue to push into you. The squelching sounds between your two bodies is louder than the kiss he places on your sweaty forehead before going to your ear. 

“You haven’t even seen all my tricks.” He teases.

Eunseok bested you once again. You have nothing to say in response to his fingers that suddenly picked up their pace, you only clutch at him tighter and moan so pitifully it’s barely muffled by his shirt. Your voice floats up to the ceilings as you crumble against his chest. You see the darkened spot on the shirt from your saliva the same time you feel Eunseok press a kiss to the top of your head.

“You’re breaking my heart, honey.” He coos. “I didn’t take you for the competitive type.” 

Eunseok’s hands increase their pace and you can already feel more drool peaking past your lips. You’re being bullied to the edge and Eunseok hasn’t even take his pants off yet. You squirm in his touch again, pressing your hips down to feel his hard dick jump in his sweats. The feeling pushes you forward, it gives you motivation to try and speak.

“I’m not competitive.” You lie again.

Eunseok hums and slips his fingers out of you. The lack of stimulation causes you to whine but gives you room to push your hips against his. Eunseok’s wet fingers grab at your hip and works them back and forth. You hear the content sigh tumble past his lips as your hands grip the couch on either side of his head. You finally find the strength to lift your head up and press your open mouth to Eunseok’s. 

“Then say my movie is gonna do better than yours.” Eunseok murmurs against your lips and pushes you down again. You pant hot air into his mouth and tilt your head, silently wishing he’d kiss you instead of taunting you. “Say it and I’ll fuck you so good.” He says simply.

You shake your head and Eunseok runs his hands up and down your arms, light as a feather to make goosebumps raise across your skin. He pulls away from your lips and looks at your heaving chest and your perked nipples that poke against the fabric. One of his hands harshly pinches at your nipple, causing you to cry out. As an instinct you smack his hand even harder. He looks up from your chest to your face with a smile on his lips.

“So, so, so good.” He taunts.

Eunseok looks you in your eyes again but you can’t even bring yourself to retort. You are still trying to clear the haze and calm your lust from the edging. You only slightly back away from the peak of pleasure before you start pressing your hips down on Eunseok’s. Your previous position on his lap made it had to feel it but straddling his hips let you feel all of him. He throbs against your clothed pussy through his gray sweatpants. Eunseok even lifts his hips upwards to press against you more. You breath heavily into the crook of his neck, but you still shake your head weakly.

“I’m not gonna say it.” You whimper.

“Then you’re not getting it.” Eunseok groans.

For a moment your heart drops at the thought of Eunseok lifting you off his lap or holding your waist to cease your movements. But Eunseok is caught up the same way you are, even if he tries to act like he isn’t. He doesn’t want you to stop, clear in the way he greedily moves your hips when you lose your pace. 

You can feel his dick continue to pulse, the stimulation has you dragging your bare cunt on the fabric of his sweatpants. You swear you can feel all of Eunseok and he moans like he can feel all of you too. His hands press unbelievably hard into your waist to help guide you up and down his length.

“You’re not getting it.” He repeats.

Eunseok is so quiet you think he is speaking to himself rather than to you. But you still nod in the crook of his neck, kissing the exposed skin before tilting your head upwards towards his ear.

“I’m not getting it.” You echo.

Eunseok brings a hand between your shoulder blades and presses your chest against his. he starts lifting his hips with more fervor, letting out a quiet curse into the air when a tiny whine escapes your throat. You purposely push your hand against Eunseok’s thigh just so he will grab your wrist and hold it against your lower back.

“You wouldn’t even be able to handle it, would you?” He whispers.

"It's been too long." You quietly whimper back.

Moments like these where you two are so desperate to be quiet takes you back to your motel days together. The walls were thin as paper back then and you two had an irrational fear of being caught like you weren’t two consenting adults. You’d moan and whimper quietly into eachothers ears, chasing so desperately after that feeling you were both pursuing now. Back then you two would kiss alot more and only praises would fall from Eunseok's lips.

You weren’t sure what you preferred. Pleasure was pleasure the same way wealth was wealth no matter who was administering it. You did wonder if clutching at Eunseok’s shirt would’ve been more fulfilling if you two were on the stiff loveseat cramped in the corner of your motel room. You wondered if hearing him moan your name sweetly would’ve sent you over the edge faster if he still presented himself the same way he used to.

The thought of slumming it with Eunseok again brought you back to the edge again. You went back to the crook of Eunseok's neck as your body swayed against his. You felt the impeding orgasm loom over you. You dug your nails into his shirt and leaned against the back of the couch. For a moment you were so lost in the throes of pleasure you forgot where you were. When you opened your eyes you remembered, and when you remembered it felt further away than ever.

You were subjected to the view from the top floor of this fancy hotel, looking down at the rest of the city beneath you. You saw the cars of people just now getting off from their shifts or people heading to work while you were all the way up here, carelessly enjoying the life of luxury by fucking in the presidential suite. Your hands were tangled in the hair of your arguably richer ex-whatever, and you were grinding on custom Italian that cost more than what most made in a year. You remember being down there, struggling to get a decent nights rest after being a corporate slave all day. That was your life but it felt like an eternity ago. Instead of Eunseok and what he was giving you your mind went to the yawning bellhops and the barista who made your coffee this morning. You saw them in the dark reflection next to yourself in the glass of the window. You focused on your mussed appearance and the back of Eunseok's head. Maybe this really was a persona, maybe you were something worse.

“I can’t.” You whimpered suddenly, stilling your hips against Eunseok’s.

Eunseok looked from your waist to you. His furrowed eyebrow went from focused to confused. You looked at the sweat dot his forehead and line his top plump lip. He looked like he did when you first met, taking you back to the time you wanted to escape from so badly. When you tried to pull away Eunseok shook his head and continued to hold you close. Your loudest sound fell from your lips, something between overwhelming pleasure and the unbearable guilt that comes with achieving success you can barely conceptualize.

“You can. You’re so close already.” Eunseok pulls your view away from your reflection to press your forehead against his. He looks at you intently again, like you were his beginning and end. “My star.” He coos.

Your hips falter at the nickname. Eunseok smiles and grinds his clothed dick against you again, showing that your nickname has an effect on him too. You press your forehead harder against his, the sweaty surfaces sticking together as you two let out heavy pants. You can feel yourself clenching around nothing, squeezing around air as you get closer and closer to the edge. The grip you have on Eunseok becomes so strong your hands begin to shake.

“I’m close.” Eunseok breaks apart from your forehead to lean his head against the couch. His neck is on full display for you, the protrusion in the middle of his throat bobs up and down as he tries regaining his composure. “Keep going.” He whines.

Everytime without fail, Eunseok became the most vulnerable right before he finishes. His own persona crumbles before you. If you ever brought up how pitiful he becomes in the pursuit of his orgasm he would accuse you of projection, but his submission was so palatable you could taste it. He was no longer the cocky movie star, but a defenseless whining mess underneath you. You could always see how badly he wanted to be taken care of, it was written on his lips and evident in the way his grip tightened on you but no longer guided your movements. He needed you to press deeper into him, to kiss him all over and talk him through it.

“Look at me.” You said.

Whether your voice was commanding enough didn’t matter, because Eunseok opened his eyes almost immediately. You looked at him instead of looking around his suite or looking past him outside the large windows. You stayed locked in on Eunseok’s blown out eyes, focusing on yourself in his eyes instead. You never changed on the glassy wet reflection. You still looked the same when you stared intensely at them.

Something about Eunseok being so weak made you feel strong. You forgot about your overwhelming guilt to press your hips down to Eunseok’s and rock against him quickly, looking directly into his eyes. He only lasted a moment before his back arched off the couch and his eyes were screwed shut. You moved one of your hands from Eunseok’s shoulder to thread through his hair, pulling tightly as your hips continued to move.

He started twitching underneath you and you let yourself collapse against his chest. Designer perfume and Eunseok filled your nose as you whimpered against his chest and a beat later the familiar warmth washed over you. Your hips started moving erratically as you settled deeper into his chest, repeating that you were cumming after Eunseok already came in his sweats. 

“Go ahead.” Eunseok weakly cooed at you as his hands ran up and down your back. “I got you.”

You nodded against his chest, and you didn’t stop nodding until you felt the warmth subside. You let out a heave against Eunseok’s chest. The both of you had matching heart rates and the same heavy pants. 

You rested against him and he pulled you closer, still rubbing your back as you came down. When you could manage moving your body agains you started massaging Eunseok’s scalp, paying closer attention to the area that you had his hair tugged between your fingers.

Even with knowing you were a sticky sweaty mess you felt comfortable. When you were against Eunseok’s shoulder all you saw was him. You didn’t worry that you defiled the expensive Italian sofa or that you might’ve disturbed the neighbors. You were only focused on the whirring of a machine somewhere and the fact that Eunseok smelled like you now. Everything was reminiscent of the life you were accustomed to.

“So.” Eunseok clears his throat and lets his head rest against yours that’s still slumped in his shoulder. “You gonna stay the night? Or go back to the dirty motel?” He asks.

Instantly the veil is lifted. The fog in your mind clears and the strength comes back to your limbs. You pull out of Eunseok’s hold get up from his lap with a grunt and walk over to your pants, pulling them up your leg as Eunseok scoots forward to the edge of the sofa.

“Don’t be like that.” He says.

You shake your head again and pull up your pants quickly. You even wag your finger as Eunseok to show him he’s really messed up. 

“You ruined it.” You say. 

You walk through the dark of the suite, trying not to run into anything on your way out. The worst thing would be to leave a trace of your presence anywhere. You want to be in and out like a ghost, you want to be back in the comfort of your scratchy sheets.

“Seriously you should stay.” You hear a tiny gross leave Eunseok’s lips as he gets up from the couch. You can hear his bare feet against the floor of the room as pads after you. You don’t turn around, you only reach for your baseball cap sitting on top of the command center. “It’s so late.” He reasons.

Your mask is already on your face by the time Eunseok makes it to your side. His voice is hoarse, when you turn around you see his hair is still bumped on one side as you secure the baseball cap onto your head.

“I gotta get back to my dirty motel.” You emphasize the end. Eunseok’s eye roll and the dark splotch on his sweats is tinted behind the your shades before you turn to grab your jacket. “My taxi is waiting for me.” You say.

You can tell Eunseok has given up any attempt to get you to stay when you zip up your jacket. Instead he puts his hand on the doorknob, stopping you from pulling it open. When your hand goes to the deadbolt Eunseok puts his hand over that too. You see his softened gaze behind the dark tint of your shades, so inviting you have the urge to stay.

“How long are you in LA for?” Eunseok asks. 

Your hand goes to the small chain above the deadbolt lock right beside Eunseok’s head. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” You say.

Eunseok puts his hands up in defense and you take the moment to undo the lock and turn the knob. The door is heavy, it pulls you slightly forward as you try to open it. Eunseok helps you the rest of the way and you’re forced to walk past him to go into the hallway. You don’t dare to turn back and look at Eunseok when you make it to the hallway. You keep your eyes on the elevator only, so close to escape.

“Maybe next time we can fuck on the nasty sheets in a motel?”

Eunseok speaks above his normal volume because he knows it will make you turn around. He swears he can see the indignation  in your eyes as you point your finger at him in warning. He puts his hands up in defense again and laughs at your reaction.

“Shut up.” You seethe behind gritted teeth. 

“I’m just saying it’ll be a nice change of pace for me.” He says, equally as loud.

Eunseok is happy he’s able to wear you down when you pull out your phone and start vigorously typing. He hears his phone chime behind him on top of the command center before you stuff your phone back into your pocket.

“I sent you my schedule for the next month.” You point your finger at him again as you start heading backwards to the elevator. “Don’t make me regret it.” You seethe.

Eunseok leans against his door, nodding mockingly.

“You won’t.” He says.

Eunseok stays leaned against his door even when you turn away from him and walk towards the elevator. He doesn’t catch your eye again until you turn inside the open elevator to face the exit. He decides to be even more of an asshole by bowing to you just to show you how grateful he is. Eunseok waves to you with all his might as the doors came to a slow close in front of you. 

You make it back down to the lobby, the same staff there as when you went up. You notice the concierge staring at you from across the lobby. You feel her gaze never leave your body as you shift uncomfortably from the unwanted attention and the feeling from your underwear. Enamel Pin doesn’t say a word to you as he opens the door, he barely gives you a nod as you walk past him.

The bellhops look from the yellow taxi to you, they make a step towards the back of the cab before standing still in their place. You don’t know what you’re waiting for but you’re still too. Everyone outside is still, no one moves until you hear see the passenger side window roll down.

“Have a nice night, miss.” Enamel Pin says.

The bellhops move to the car that comes up behind the taxi and your feet finally move. You open your own door and clamber into the backseat. You close your own door and motion for the driver to take you back to the same spot.

You look up from your seat in the car, trying to find the top floor of the hotel. It’s impossible to see from down here. You still try to find the top as the cab leaves the lobby, heading the same direction you came from.

[01zfan]

your birthday pt. 2 | s. es

husband!eunseok x wife!reader | 8.5k words

a part two i never thought i’d make. i actually love this couple so much i fear. i love them so much i accidentally wrote 3.5k more words than intended. if you are interested in leaving a one time tip or commissioning me feel free to do so here!

contains: unprotected sex, shenanigans in a room while other people are in the house

your birthday: one | two

Snow covered the streets and rooftops, not caring about the time of year as it continued to fall. The street was bathed in white, the lamp posts down the curb of the cul-de-sac illuminated the snow that fell in a never ending frenzy.

Wistfully you looked out the window at the scene setting before you. Your chin rested on top your palms and your elbows were perched on the windowsill. Your eyes scanned the landscape before looking up to the white sky. You couldn’t sleep, too captivated by how the snowfall that made your life seem like a movie. You wondered if you looked how you felt, like a character deep in thought or a musician getting ready to sing about love. You believed you could sing about it for the rest of your life, each song about something different. One song would be about the love you felt the moment you stepped into this house. Another would be about the room you stayed in. You would sing about the bed that wasn’t yours that creaked from years of use then no use at all. You would sing about the blissful drowning in memories that weren’t yours, hanging on the wall and heard in the whirring of the old family desktop. 

The final song you’d sing, possibly the longest and the most heartfelt would be about the gleaming rock on your ring finger. All the love culminated to the diamond, cut and carved delicately to be put on a wedding band. You would sing the song long after your voice gives out from overuse, even after you realize their is no music left to sing along with. You let out a sigh when your fingers run over the engraved letters on the band, something that was a secret detail kept between you and your husband. You closed your eyes and breathed in deep, taking in all the nostalgia and love and beauty that almost became too much to handle. 

When you opened your eyes again you heard the door open behind you. You looked away from the windowsill quickly, hands falling to the armrest of the chair as you used the stability to turn your body further. For a moment you were worried, eyes wide thinking that you woke up the other people in the house. A quiet apology was on your lips before you saw a cautious head poke past the door. Instantly you softened and let out a breath, your hands balling up in silent excitement. 

“I thought you’d never show up.” You said quietly.

You didn’t try to hide your smile seeing Eunseok come inside before closing the door softly behind him. You heard the door quietly close, and you watched Eunseok step on the floorboards that wouldn’t creak as he made his way to the bed. He maneuvered around his room like a cat, on his tip-toes and keeping perfect balance. He winced silently as he got on the corner of the bed closest to you, like the smallest sound would trigger something.

“I was taking my time.” Eunseok whispered, looking past you for a moment to the view outside.

You took a quick turn to look outside again. Another layer of snow covered the ground. You smiled to yourself and subconsciously used your thumb to rub the gold band of your ring. 

“What are the odds it snows this hard in March?” You spoke while still looking outside, looking up towards the moon to try and find it. Eunseok completely forgot about the world around him until he saw you turn back to him slowly with a smile on your face. “And what are the odds it snows on your birthday?” You add.

He couldn’t stop himself from looking down bashfully at your comment. He stopped trying to fight the blush that would spread across his cheeks when he’d suddenly get your full attention, but he absolutely couldn’t handle keeping eye contact with you while it was happening. Eunseok came up with ways to play off the fact that he still couldn’t look at you for too long without feeling like he was going to die—his hands would fly to his bangs to readjust his hair or he’d shake his head trying his best to muster up a cocky smile. 

He fails to remain nonchalant when you move from your place on the recliner to reach towards him. Eunseok instinctually goes further onto his bed, trying to tease you while also trying to give himself some time and distance to get his head in the right place. But his plans are thwarted, they burst into flames when you follow him on your hands and knees. Eunseok tries his best to keep the sly smile as you add extra weight on your hands and knees, purposefully making the bed squeak underneath your body. Eunseok is no better, as he backs away from you his own body makes noise on top of the mattress too. When he gets to the headboard and realizes that there’s two sources of sound coming from this room when there’s only supposed to be one, he puts his hands on your shoulders, stopping you from coming any closer.

“You’re so loud.” He says gently.

You only cocked your head to the side, a confused pout on your lips. Looking at your face smoothed the clenched teeth and furrowed eyebrows Eunseok didn’t realize he had.

“I thought your parents slept through everything?” You asked.  

Eunseok was twenty-five. He spent his life at twenty-three living with you. He watched you graduate university and look for a job in your field and at the same time, Eunseok started imagining a proper future with you; one that required him to leave his comfort zone and apply for a higher up position at his job. 

At twenty-four he got the promotion the same time you landed a job. This was also around the same time Eunseok started looking at nearby jewelers and learning about different types of rings. At twenty-four Eunseok started planning your anniversary months in advance, long before you began thinking about it. At twenty-four Eunseok reluctantly started keeping secrets from you and hiding the shake in his hands as the date creeped closer and closer. At twenty-four Eunseok brought you to a beautiful restaurant while your friends and family set up the apartment. Like his birthday when he turned twenty-three Eunseok watched you navigate through the darkness of your apartment, talking about no surprises right before everyone revealed themselves. At twenty-four Eunseok got down on one knee and pulled out a ring, smiling to himself as the room went silent. He heard your confirmation the same time the room erupted in cheers and confetti was thrown.

At twenty-five Eunseok went from being your fiancé to your husband. You two went on a honeymoon out of the country where your eyes stayed on the ring, constantly looking at it and sighing in content disbelief. Eunseok repeated the phrase like it that much? with a proud smile on his face. 

(He knew you would like it. He made sure you would. Before he even considered buying the ring he took your bestfriend, your sister, and your Mother—all on separate occasions, he had to make sure ones opinion wouldn’t be swayed by the other—to the jewelers. He presented the ring he had in mind to each one of them, asking carefully if it was you. He was delighted to see everyone believed it was the ring. Even your friend who wasn’t easily impressed by Eunseok gave him a nod of approval. He still held onto the not bad, Eunseok like a lifeline when he swiped his card.)

Eunseok was twenty-six and forty-two minutes old now and he knew about way more things than he did the previous years of his life. He was more sure of himself, too. He was a high performer at work and a happy husband, something that seemed so foreign to him when he was a teenager doing God knows what. 

But even now, with all of his knowledge and amassed experiences he wasn’t sure if you were batting your eyelashes and pouting at him in a silent attempt to get him to make a move. 

Even if Eunseok’s heart was hammering in his chest he wasn’t opposed to it. The sight of you in his childhood bedroom with the backdrop of the beautiful snowfall actually left him fighting the urge to close the space between your two bodies. You stood on your knees now, still looked at him with that glint in your eyes. Eunseok was weak, he was grateful to lean against the headboard to give himself some sense of stability. But the way you leaned back on your haunches with your hands balled up in your lap and your ring staring at him he felt his inhibitions slipping away by the second. He was happy to be back home, Eunseok needed his friends and family to survive, but this trip has tried him to no end.

His parents were extremely old fashioned. They were so set in their ways that Eunseok had to tell you about it incessantly the first time you came over. He sat in the driver seat of his car and lamented the way they were until you nodded your head in annoyance. At the time, before Eunseok’s parents referred to you as their daughter, the only thing you were worried about was them liking you. Eunseok was more worried that you would see first hand why he was such a rebellious asshole as a teenager.

Even though time had passed and Eunseok’s parents arguably treated you better than they treated him, he knew their traditional ways would keep you apart. The first night when you were getting ready for bed Eunseok’s Mom came up behind you, leading you up the stairs to his childhood room while his Father continued talking to him downstairs. When his Dad bid you a goodnight and he started pulling out the couch that turned into a bed he remembers the shock on your face. He remembers you trying to as respectfully as possible tell his Mom that you were fine with the two of you sleeping on the cramped twin mattress in his room. He smiled to himself as he laid out the extra set of blankets, already knowing what his Mother was going to say.

“Eunseokie is sleeping on the couch so you can sleep in his room.” She said with a smile. “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.”

Even though Eunseok knew his Mother was going to keep you two separated at night, he still felt unprepared. He foolishly thought he could handle being away from you for only a night, but he tossed and turned on the couch. He felt like a teenager again, scowling to himself and getting angry at his parents trying to impose rules on him. He was old enough to admit now that he was overreacting when he rebelled to having a curfew as a teenager, or when he’d get grounded for having bad grades and when he’d come home smelling like smoke. But he was a kid then, an ornery asshole with a million hormones running through his bloodstream. Eunseok was a man now—a man who needed to sleep next to his wife to get a goodnight’s rest, but a man nonetheless—he believed he was justified in his indignation at being told what to do.

So each night, almost twenty-six Eunseok turned into a rebellious teenager again. The only difference was that he wasn’t sneaking out of the house, but actually going deeper into it. 

He stayed on one side of the staircase to avoid creaking and tiptoed past his parents room to sneak into his. Each night you were already up and waiting for him, a smile on your face as you leaned against the headboard of his bed. Eunseok got a kick out of seeing you be rebellious. On the first night your eyes would widen with each creak of the bed and you quietly shushed him a million times. Eunseok had to assure you that his parents didn’t wake easily and that he would go back down to the couch before morning came just to so you would cuddle with him.

He would’ve never thought you’d get so used to rebelling so quickly. The same girl that was nervous to even cuddle with his parents one room over was now staring at him with intent. You were nervous to even move on his bed the first night but now you played with your allotted decibels, he was starting to believe you purposefully overdid it just to get a rise from him. 

You even traded your usual nightwear for a set that was reminiscent of his birthday three years ago. He didn’t want to pay attention to your set when he came in, but now that’s all he could think about. Especially the way one of your straps made it over the edge of your shoulder and draped down your skin so perfectly. Each time you moved even the slightest the silk moved with you. 

Between your eyes boring into his and your chest grabbing his attention Eunseok wasn’t sure where to look. He was out of options, his eyes darting to the frames on his wall trying to recall his old memories instead of the image of you crawling on the bed towards him. Unfortunately Eunseok came to realize that it was already seared into his mind, burning everything else into a crisp. All there was in his mind was you, and here you were already in front of him still looking at him with those eyes. Your innocent question lingered in the air the suggestive nature in your voice imprinting on his mind. 

When you pushed slightly against Eunseok’s hands, he let his hands travel down to your arms. He had the strap of your set pressed between his palm and your upper arm, and you seized the opportunity to come even closer to him. Instantly you leaned your body against his, letting out a sigh as you looked out the window. Eunseok willed his body to relax as yours settled against his. When you turned to face the window your other strap fell from your shoulder, and you made a clumsy attempt to pull it back up. It seemed to fall down even lower after you tried, forcing Eunseok to move his hands upwards to put them back on your shoulders. He moved his hands up and down your arms, trying to soothe himself by soothing you. The repetitive motions should help his heart go back to its normal pace and that itch spreading across his body that only you could scratch should go away.

Just as Eunseok followed your gaze outside to the snow he saw your eyes go back to his room. You inspected the room like you only saw it in snatches, in between the mornings before heading downstairs and the night before going to bed.

He didn’t know why having you in here felt so different. He was suddenly hyperaware of the pile of clothes in the corner of his room and the aged desktop in the corner of his room. Eunseok noticed the hobby items of the animes he used to watch, the dusty trophies from spelling bees and certificates of decathlons before he decided he wanted to be one of the cool kids. Something that should’ve been hidden in the night was illuminated by the lamp posts and the snow, letting you see the highlights of Eunseok’s childhood. He would’ve told you anything you wanted to know about his life without hesitation, and he was sure he talked about his past before becoming a delinquent before. But still, having you see firsthand the child he used to be was somber. He only watched you in silence as you took it all in, he turned his head from the snow to watch yours tilt and turn as you looked at his life story.

He watched you pause on the cork board that hung on his door. It was dedicated to birthday cards, a faded Have a great Summer! and a faded countdown that reached zero. Eunseok leaned forward to kiss the ball of your shoulder, finding comfort in having his skin against yours in another way. When you hummed it let him know you saw all of him, and you were beginning to digest it. He followed your eyes and leaned his head forward, looking down at your cheek that you chewed on absentmindedly.

“What are you looking at?” He asked.

You looked up at him from his side. He still ran his hands up and down your arms in a soothing motion, only stopping when you pointed to the board.

“What was the countdown for?” You asked.

He forgot himself what the countdown was for. When he remembered he laughed to himself quietly before letting out a  sigh. A million memories ran through his head at once, the good, bad, and ugly that came with being a kid trying to find his way. Eunseok let the memories fall like the snow as he looked out the window again. 

“It was a countdown for my eighteenth birthday.” Eunseok continued watching the snowfall as you started laying down, getting more comfortable on the bed. When your head resting in his lap he started touching your cheeks absentmindedly, watching another layer of snow coat the ground. “I was always in such a rush to grow up.”

Eunseok looked away from the snow to the window nook. He wants to laugh again at how melodramatic he was, how he’d sit in that nook and be a moody teenager. He remembers waiting there until his friends pulled up in their car before he’d sneak out to go somewhere he wasn’t supposed to be. Your cheeks were soft underneath the pads of his fingers. He didn’t take his hands away, only nodding his head towards the pillow that was still caved in on itself from years of use and the blanket that was jumbled in the corner. 

“I used to sit right there.” Eunseok felt your head turn underneath his hands. “I would look at the sky and just think about what life would be like when I finally left.” He said.

Eunseok didn’t know why he was being so candid. He quietly walked up the stairs with the sole mission to cuddle, maybe even get a kiss or two. He would’ve never thought he’d be sharing the small details of his life he always kept to himself. But he also should’ve known by now that he could keep nothing from you; even if they were insignificant moments in his adolescence he only thought about in passing. Everything had the tendency to come to the surface when he looked at you. He was still trying to figure out why your presence always prompted him to speak. Silence was something Eunseok was praised for when he was a teenager. He wore the mysterious and quiet label like a badge of honor. When you were around, it was useless. Sometimes he felt like he was just talking to talk when you came around, like his body was forcing him to subject you to his voice. He never got better at controlling his urge to talk to you. Even now, his gaze cut back to the falling snow to point his finger through the white haze in the general direction of his neighbors house.

“Our neighbor across the street, can you see his house?” 

He wasn’t sure if you were humoring him when you craned your neck to look through the downpour of snow. You nodded your head regardless of if you could see it or not before leaning your head back on his lap. Suddenly his throat felt dry. He didn’t even know what he was going to say, what this useless ramble was leading to but he still felt antsy for some reason. He tried to shake the feeling away by shifting his body underneath yours, using the creaks in his bed as a palette cleanser for his voice. 

“He always puts up his lights up during Christmas the exact same day.” Eunseok puts one of his hands behind his body to keep himself propped up while the other continues mindlessly playing with your face. He thinks your eyes stay focused on the corner of the roof that’s visible through the snow. He doesn’t know, because now he really can’t bring himself to look down at you. “Like for as long as i can remember, he always puts them up on December 13th when his son comes from wherever he lives to help him. I think my Mom told me once he drives for three hours just to help his Dad put up decorations on the exact same day, every year.”

Even though your silent, Eunseok knows you heard him. He swears you’re looking at him as a teenager in the nook of his window, blanket curled in his lap as he looks across the cul-de-sac to his neighbors house. He swears you’re right behind him, looking down at the Father and son putting up the Christmas decorations together. He hopes you can see the things a small part of him doesn’t want you to see, that you can hear what’s left unsaid. He hopes you can understand the inner turmoil and how the lack of family traditions pulled at his heart. He hopes you can understand the battle he went through of thinking about the trouble he was going to get into with his friends while also wishing for a relationship with his parents. He prays you know he wanted more than day drinking on Friday mornings instead of going to class .You hum as you imagine Eunseok sitting in the nook of his window, looking across the cul-de-sac to the Father and son putting up Christmas decorations together. 

Eunseok had matured in more ways than he could count since you two started seeing eachother. After he learned about your aversion to alcohol he stopped drinking carelessly, when he found out you were moving to go to college he started getting serious about his life too. You often argued that he was more mature than you, but his biggest setback now was that he would never mention it. He didn’t like to dwell on the past, he didn’t like to look back on the type of person he was as a young adult. Even now, he was only realizing in the moment that the antsy feeling across his body was because he wanted to say something else. He couldn’t find the words, and he looked down to you for help. He still needed you, the same way you needed him. It was a silent agreement between you two, signed and sealed by prolonged eye contact and gentle touches and delivered through words. When he needed the push you were there.

“I want something like that one day. Family traditions are so nice.” You say with a smile.

“Yeah.” Eunseok’s voice tapered off at the end as he snapped his gaze to the window. The blush creeped across his face again and sweat lined his palms as you intertwined his fingers with yours.

Eunseok’s other hand went back to playing with your face, but his touch was a little harder. He tries to distract himself, he almost tries talking himself out of what he’s going to say next by clearing his throat and watching the snowfall. He started uselessly counting the falling specks, losing track over and over again as he tries to stop himself from being vulnerable. 

One

Two

Three

The feeling of your hand squeezing around his makes Eunseok lose count. He clears his throat, trying to will away the hot feeling across his body.

One

Two

Three

Six

Eight

Twelve

Avoidance of emotion is a terrible habit Eunseok has, one made instinctually through trying to hide his personality his whole life. The worst part was when sentiments were on the tip of his tongue but suddenly his throat would feel dry until he swallowed it back.

“What do you want to say?” 

Eunseok was pulled from whatever number at the sound of your voice. He looked down at you already looking up at him. Your smile is so welcoming and your eyes are big and focused on whatever he’s going to say. 

When he needed a push you were there.

“I was just gonna say that I can’t wait to have family traditions with you one day.” 

Eunseok didn’t realize he was pinching your hand from the nerves until his eyes drifted away from yours. He loosed his grip instantly but you made up for it tenfold, gripping him so hard he could feel the creases on your fingers. Being overwhelmingly vulnerable about his future with you (as if the ring on your finger didn’t bound your lives together for better or for worse, from now till the end of time) made him nervous. Eunseok felt like he had embarrassed himself in some way until you got up from your place on his bed to be eye level with him. 

“I can’t wait either.” You agreed. 

Everything about you dripped in sincerity. The way your eyes had only gotten wider to show you were serious and your hand reached up to cup his face to let him know you were right there with him. Eunseok was amazed by how you put yourself out there seemingly for his benefit. You so easily repeated back his sentiment without hesitation, even after you had to pull the confession from him. He didn’t know how he got so lucky, how you made him feel so seen when he spent his entire life trying to be invisible. You had the talent of reading his mind, he hoped and prayed that you understood what he was trying to say when his eyes focused on your lips.

“I really want to kiss you right now.” You said.

Eunseok didn’t say anything else when he rested his hand on the back of your neck. Any extent of being vulnerable made Eunseok mentally drained. His endurance when it came to using words was slim to none, but when he failed on that front he knew he could always fall back on his physicality. Eunseok could admit that it was a little pathetic his emotions needed a breather after something as insignificant as hinting at having a family but he was okay with that. As long as he was able to distract you from the fact by kissing you until you couldn’t breathe. 

When his thumb ran up and down the small space of your jaw and your hands went to grip his forearms Eunseok knew he had you distracted. He focused on you for a second longer, the backdrop of the snow seemed like you were carved out from a movie. He saw you part your lips and run your tongue over them quickly before you started slowly inching forward. He closed the distance even slower, tilting his head and pulling you in by his hand on the back of your neck.

The quiet sound of your lips making contact filled the space between the two of you. Your hand eventually planted into the mattress to steady yourself while Eunseok’s hands guided you through the motions, trying his best to minimize the sound of movement on his bed.

When you tried getting onto Eunseok’s lap he started using his hands to guide your body onto his bed. You didn’t know what he was planning but you let him do it anyway, maneuvering your body until he could guide your body down. He kissed you all the way down until your head was resting on the pillows, and his hands that touched your face started touching his sheets instead. You closed your eyes into the chaste kisses, pressing your lips gently against Eunseok’s as you searched for his hands. When you felt his wrists you grabbed at them, but Eunseok didn’t weave your fingers together like he usually did. He didn’t deepen the kiss either, only pressing hesitant kisses that got slower and slower. You could feel his anticipation falter with each old creek of the bed. 

Finally Eunseok’s hands started clutching at yours, but they were contemplative before you tried deepening the kiss. Before you knew it Eunseok pulled away from you, and you lifted your head in a habit of chasing him.

“I’ve never done this before.” Eunseok said breathily.

You blinked up at him, trying to get the gears in your mind to turn. Instead the only thing you could think about was Eunseok on top of you and the way the glow from the lamp posts dimly lit the side of his face.

“We’ve definitely made out before.” You say back.

Eunseok knew you were using the term making out very loosely. Unsure chaste kisses to lips were nothing compared to what you  two were accustomed to. When Eunseok ran his tongue over his lips he could feel the thin layer of drool coating them. But his lips felt nothing like the swollen warmth he’d usually be left with when you’d break away to catch your breath. The light catching on your lips didn’t resemble the usual sight either. When you two were actually making out Eunseok would always part from your lips leaving them a bitten red mess. Eunseok had a habit of sucking and lightly biting your lips, but he was too distracted to do anything beyond juvenile pecks. 

He was amazed to see your eyes were still ogling him like he was teasing you. He felt your leg rub against his as he shook his head.

“I mean I’ve never made out with anyone in my childhood room before.” Eunseok says.

Eunseok doesn’t miss the way your head tilted to the side in genuine confusion at his remark.

“Really?” You asked.

Eunseok’s own head tilted at the genuine shock in your voice. He knew that his reputation preceded him in many ways before you met. Living in such a small town meant that word spread fast, whether it was true or not. When one member of his crew did something, it was assumed the rest of them were doing the same thing. So when word travelled that people in his clique were sneaking girls in and out of their homes late at night, Eunseok should’ve suspected that the common consensus was that they were all fooling around in their childhood rooms. 

He could see instantly that you regretted how shocked you sounded. Eunseok saw that you were still frazzled from the kisses, catching you off guard to the extent that you weren’t able to hide your expression. Eunseok saw it as an opportunity to lean close, so close that his nose touched your ear.

“You think I was bringing girls over?” He asks.

Eunseok tilts his head slightly, a smirk on his face when he sees you trying to avoid eye contact. He presses even further, until his lips press against the shell of your ear and your hand grasps at his body as a reflex.

“Sneaking them in and out?” When you nod your head Eunseok tsks playfully and shakes his head. Before you can defend yourself, Eunseok drags his hand along the line of your jaw. His eyes follow his own hand, as if he doesn’t know where it’s going either. When his fingers rest lightly over your neck he feels you swallow underneath him. Eunseok’s eyes drift back up to your face, smiling to himself when you still avoid eye contact. “I thought you thought more of me.” He fake pouts.

Instantly you shake your head, but no words come out. Eunseok knows he shouldn’t be so cruel. He never debunked the rumors of him being a delinquent, to some extent it was true and he was also guilty of feeding into it. Eunseok would’ve never thought that it’d pay off like this in the future. He was able to see the gears helplessly turn in your head as you tried to think of a way to defend yourself. Just when the words were about to come out Eunseok flexed his hand over your neck again, adding the slightest bit of pressure. He watched your back arch off the bed from the sensation, and you whimpered weakly. He felt your pull at his shirt, weak despite your hand gripping his shirt so tightly it caused wrinkles.

Eunseok wonders if you were trying to be in charge tonight. The two of you were always impartial to roles in the bedroom, but on his birthday you always seemed to assert some sort of dominance. Even if it was breathlessly asking Eunseok to do whatever he wants to you, he always noticed that you tried maintaining control to some degree. But now here you were, gripping onto him pathetically and avoiding eye contact while you came closer and closer to him. Eunseok didn’t know if he preferred it this way, but he sure as Hell wasn’t going to complain. He only leaned into it, kissing your cheek before using his other hand to point your face towards his.

“It’s like our first time again.” Eunseok smiled against your skin before leaving wet kisses in the crook of your neck. 

You whimpered, your hand travelled up to press into his shoulder blade. Eunseok went back to kissing and laving the warm skin on your neck, shuffling your body underneath his as he got on top of you. When the bed creaked again he noticed it was you who hesitated this time, bending your head towards his so he couldn’t kiss you anymore.

“What if your parents hear us?” You asked.

Eunseok didn’t stop devouring you, kissing your neck and jawline and cheek before repeating the same cycle. His other hand started pulling at you, silently urging you to start pulling at him too. When Eunseok felt you give in an inch, he took another mile. He raised form your neck completely to look down at you, his eyes drifting to all the spots on your neck and face that were glossy from his spit. He ran his finger over the crease of your eyebrow, smirking to himself.

Eunseok looks around his room for a moment before settling on the nook. The thought of having you on top of him right next to the window with the snow falling has him off the bed in seconds pulling at your arms to get you up. Eunseok feels pride swell in his chest at how you follow him immediately and how you’re wobbly on your feet for a second before he pulls you towards the window. You teeter unsure where to go but let your body be lead by him. He is so hasty that he doesn’t know what to do when he has you where he wants you. He notices the lack of space first, he forgot that he has definitely grown since he was a lanky preteen. But seeing your blown out eyes and feeling your hands impatiently grab at his body and sweats fills him with innovation. He scoots back to the window and sits on the nook, letting his feet plant onto the wooden floor. He purposefully manspreads, distracting you more as your eyes flit between his lap and his eyes. Your strap fell down again at some point, but you aren’t focused on it at all. He has to look at the strap before you realize it had fallen down. 

“Come here.” He says gently, hands beckoning towards you.

You close the distance immediately. The strap is loose on your skin as Eunseok rubs the material between his fingers. Your hands already go to his shoulders, holding them in anticipation. He loves how easily you get wound up for him. It took him nearly a year to convince himself that you were truly always this ready for him and that you weren’t playing it up for his confidence. When he needed to prove it to himself all he had to do was stick his hand past the waistband of your matching shorts.

Instantly you gasped and he smiled to himself before looking up to you. Now it was your turn for your face to get hot and for Eunseok to be nonchalant. He still innocently played with the strap of your camisole, as if his other hand wasn’t teasing your slit. He played with the slick, purposefully messing with it in a way that caused the most noise.

“You still have to be quiet.” Eunseok said quietly.

You bit your lip and nodded, but you were still so loud. You were squelching between his fingers just from kissing and a little pulling at your skin. Sometimes he wondered if you ever rested, but he also knew he was no better. He was trying to fight the bulge from forming in his sweats since he opened the door and saw you in this set. That was the best part about sex with you—it could’ve easily been him being teased while you sat on the windowsill looking up at him evenly—it just happened to be him first. 

So Eunseok exaggerated everything. He shuffled closer to the edge of the nook and briefly stopped playing with your strap to pull you in by your lower back. Instantly you got so close his nose pressed against the silk fabric of your camisole. Eunseok looked up at your head lulling to the side, and he pulled at you again until his chin was pressed against your stomach. He smiled at you losing your balance, how your hand quickly pressed against the glass of his window to stabilize yourself. When your legs pressed against his he wedged his legs between them, spreading them apart until you looked uncomfortable. You still bit your lip and moved your body whichever way he wanted, being so good just for him. He went back to the strap of your camisole, pulling it lower and lower, slowly revealing one side of your chest. He fingers continued making a show of how wet you were. Eunseok knew everything he was doing was so close to what you wanted but at the same time so far away.

“Please.” You dragged out your quiet plea, preening and lowering your hips to try and get his fingers where you needed them to be. 

“Aren’t you worried—” He couldn’t even finish his question before you were shaking your head. His dick jumped in his sweats and he started pressing a little harder, right next to where your cunt was clenching around nothing. “Aren’t you worried my parents will wake up?” He asked.

“Don’t care.” You rushed the words out, but still spoke in a whisper. “I Don’t care.” You repeated.

To show that you were serious, Eunseok watched you quickly pull away from him to reach at the bottom of your camisole. In seconds it was off your body completely, thrown somewhere random in the room. Eunseok watch your hand greedily go up to your own chest and he started kissing at the skin of your stomach. He pressed his teeth to your skin the same time he pushed his index finger inside of you. He looked up to catch your expression, a wet mark left in the wake of his lips as you started teasing your nipple roughly. Your legs were already starting to get shaky, Eunseok watched you lean on him more and more for stability as he added in another finger. He was having too much fun messing with you. It wasn’t enough that he was ruining you in some convoluted way by finger fucking you in his childhood room right in front of the window, but he took the extra step to tease you by retracting his finger so it was only one again. Watching you pout was too satisfying, seeing your hands grab at your body to make up for loss of contact made his dick strain in his pants.

“Am I being mean?” He asked.

Eunseok made sure to be as sarcastic as possible, he even smirked up at you after he was done speaking. The smirk turned to a full blown smile when you nodded with your whole body, hands still groping your chest as you tried making sense of everything. The frosted glass was cold against his skin but he warmed it, and your hand left a foggy imprint in its wake. 

“Want me to stop teasing you?” He continued.

You nodded again, adding a pathetic whine while doing it. You made it entirely too easy for Eunseok to be an asshole. He wanted to know why you seemed to like it so much too. Each time he pushed his finger into your heat you squeezed him tight, desperately looking for more. He felt your heartbeat, he felt you gushing around him. Your reactions made him want to be a delinquent again, the type that gave you so much it made you make noise. But he decided now wasn’t the time, and here wasn’t the place. He had plenty of chances to be mean to you in the future. So he was going to bask in the teasing and the fact that you had to be quiet even though making noise in bed seemed to be your favorite thing. 

Eunseok added his finger back. Then he added another one. Then he reached his hand from your lower back to grab the other side of your chest that you were neglecting.

“Love seeing you fall apart.” He murmured against the skin of your stomach.

Eunseok felt his stomach lurch forward when your hand fisted his hair. You didn’t pull on the strands to assert dominance, you were using him as a human stress ball as consolation for not being able to make any noise. When he quickened his fingers your eyes screwed shut and you pulled even tighter. Eunseok had to swallow a groan as he tilted his head into your grip, trying to alleviate some of the force. He watched you slouch and felt your legs tremble against his. You were fluttering around his three fingers, and labored breaths were tumbling through your bitten lips.

“Close?”

You nodded your head immediately. Eunseok watched you rotate your hips slightly. He broke from the dominant haze for a moment at the look of discomfort that flashed across your face. He bent his hand that was inside of you, and when he knew he was getting it right your hand tightened in his hair again. He kissed and sucked on the skin of your waist, pressing his tongue flat before looking up to you again. 

This time your eyes were open, wide and glassy. You also freed your bottom lip from your teeth, Eunseok swore he could see the indents in the orange glow of the lamp posts. You looked like peace despite you in the middle of falling apart. Even though you were directly causing pain to his scalp Eunseok felt something so tender and raw in your rough hold. He was here with you and you were right there, trying so hard to be with him.

“I’ll be better for you.” Eunseok murmured.

Eunseok watched you nod quickly, your pout deepening. The cogs were turning in your mind, trying to keep up with the words falling from his lips and the rough pace of his hands. You were getting pulled back and forth by him. He was sure his promise came as an echo to you, bouncing off the walls of your hazy, lust-filled mind. Then suddenly, Eunseok saw you come back to Earth. Your hand was placed delicately on his cheek, stroking the skin with your thumb. He had to blink away the bracket of tears threatening his water line to keep his eyes on you.

“You already are.” You said.

Eunseok let out a sigh and leaned his head against your stomach. Your were like a warm pillow, jumping with each sharp inhale and exhale of breath. His eyes were focused on the wall as he went to your clit, rubbing the bundle of nerves with his wet fingers.

“I need you to fuck me though.” You said. Eunseok swore the snow stopped and his desktop stopped whirring in that moment. He looked up to you and your hand squeezed his cheek, forcing his lips to pucker. “Please.” You added, as articulate as possible.

After wrapping such a tempting proposition in a pretty bow, Eunseok couldn’t control himself for the second time that night. He got up from his stoop and pulled at your waistband. Your hands started pulling at his shirt and sweats at the same time, trying to quickly undress him as he smashed his lips against yours. Eunseok couldn’t be pulled away from you, he pushed you further and further back towards the edge of his bed as your hands started reaching for any part of him. 

You almost tripped when he pushed your shorts down to your thighs, and you actually fell when the back of your legs hit the back of the bed. Your body caused the springs to creak when you fell, but Eunseok didn’t clench his teeth or try to silence it. He seemed to be striving for it. He made your body squirm on the mattress when he took off your shorts, and made them sound off again when he flipped you over onto your stomach. When you tried to crawl further onto the bed he stopped you by a hand clasped over your shoulder. He knew you were confused, he was confused himself. The only thing that was in Eunseok’s mind was the sincerity in your voice when you told him so nicely that he needed to fuck you. Your voice made his hands pull off his clothes quickly, it made him not waste time getting on the bed to mount you. He only stood next to the bed while you were laying on your hands and knees in front of him, looking back as you settled into your position. 

He at the very least took time adjusting your legs on the bed and pressing a hand to your lower back to deepen your arch. He also asked you if you were ready, to which you very impatiently gave the affirmative.

Eunseok wasted no time working up to a fast pace. The moment he felt your walls let him in he was pulling back and smacking his hips against yours. It knocked the wind out of you first, them it made his bed scream, but he didn’t stop. In his mind he was able to rationalize a quick burst of noise rather than prolonging it, even if he wished for the former. You let tiny whimpers and moans slip out underneath the pressure of the mattress. He looked down at you taking him in, each time he pulled out his dick was covered with another layer of your slick. His hand left your lower back for a second to point at your left hand balled up in the sheets.

“Gimme your hand.” He said.

Instantly you started flailing your hand behind you, too focused on not crying out to actually give it to Eunseok. He grabbed your wrist that fit so perfectly in his hand and pinned it to the same spot on your lower back. He focused on hitting that spot deep inside of you, and before he knew it one of his feet was propped up on the bed beside your body. You were really weak now, losing your form as your hand tried turning to grab his wrist. Eunseok pressed deeper, driven still by your order of fucking you. He leaned close, so close that your body was flat against the sheets and one of your legs slipped off the bed completely. He accommodated you immediately, and the screaming creaks of his bedsprings turned into quick steady croaks.

“You like that?” Eunseok’s other hand went to the back of your neck and he felt your walls clench around him. He moved his hand a little higher on your back, moving your pinned wrist to a slightly uncomfortable position. It seemed like that’s what you craved the most, because the tone of your sounds became whiny and weak. “You’re so quiet I can’t tell.” He teased.

Eunseok patted himself on the back at the sound of your incoherent babbles. The only word he could make out was close. 

“I love you too.” Eunseok squeezed his hand on the back of your neck and watched you attempt to get an arch back. He threaded in a love confession to your babbles on his own accord, knowing that was something you tended to say when you were almost there. “Cum for me, baby.”

Your other leg slid off the bed when you came. Eunseok had to move his hand from the back of your neck to clasp over your mouth preemptively to get ahead of the shaking moans that ripped past your parted lips. They were muffled and warm against the palm of his hand, and he muffled his own grunts on the clammy skin of your back. You felt the warmth inside of you and heard three more heavy creaks of the bed until Eunseok stopped moving on the final one. He stayed inside of you, his body pressed flush against yours as both of your hands pressed laid on top of the mattress. Eunseok intertwined his fingers with yours as you both caught your breath. Your wind came back to you through wheezes while Eunseok did deep inhales. You were still babbling about something, which Eunseok silenced with kisses to your tear stained cheek and the corner of your lips. 

Your feet helplessly dangled over the edge of the bed, impossible to get your footing or placement on the ground. Eunseok’s warm body crushing you almost lulled you to sleep, but then the thought of his parents catching you like this in the morning made you fully alert. You bent your leg to kick the back of Eunseok’s thigh, pulling him out of his own trance. He was too busy thinking about those family traditions before sighing, pushing his dick deeper into you one last time before pulling out completely. You still seized around him like your body wanted him but he continued to pull out. He looked down at your cunt briefly, seeing if you had pushed any of him out. But it looks like you took every last drop, and he bit his lip to hold back a smile until you stayed moving. 

When the bed creaked underneath you he hissed and his hands went to your body to try and still you. Eunseok watched you look back at him with actual confusion, head tilted to the side. 

“Don’t you think it’s a little too late for that?” You grumbled, making the point to make extra noise while you clambered off the bed.

[01zfan]

not safe for work minors do not interact . . . favorite work(s)

bad idea, right

in the middle (feat. jung sungchan)

summer

keyring

malpractice

miss you more

wusyaname

argue with you: one | two | three

glasses: one | two

your birthday: one | two

presidential suite: one | two

click "eunseokz" for his blurbz and reactionz

[melobin]

have you seen ninona’s recent eunseok fic.. 💔💔 i miss the person i was before reading that i’m now sobbing into the sheets

NO I NEED TI READ IT. i’m so behind on my nino fics @01zfan forgive me ily im gonna binge read your fics when im free 💔

[01zfan]

never thought | l. at & s. es

boyfriend!anton x reader | 5.3k words

completely normal after the tonseok gym pics :D this is also just like pure filth LMFAO i apologize in advance.

contains: anton and his girlfriend are exhibitionists by accident, eunseok is a voyeur by accident, semi-public sex, dom/sub dynamics

Eunseok didn’t know that Anton had it in him.

Eunseok knew that Anton had a crush on you and he knew that you reciprocated it. He knew that Anton asked you to hang out all those months ago, and you guys have been dating ever since. 

He also knew that Anton’s reserved nature was often brought up in their workout group. During the first post-workout locker room talk, Anton's gaze stayed locked on the tile floor of the bathroom. A towel draped over his wet shoulders and tightly wrapped around his waist while everyone else couldn't be bothered to cover up. The other boys walked around the area freely, more concerned with using their towels to dry their hair rather than remaining decent. No one noticed that Anton was trying so hard to conceal himself until Sungchan pointed out the red tips of his ears and his hands securely holding the wrap in his towel.

The group only took pity on Anton and moved on after the red spread across his entire body, but ever since then his shyness became a topic of discussion. Everyone found it endearing how Anton would shake his head and stay seated on the bench while everyone else roamed freely in the area. Eunseok paid close attention to how Anton would wait until no one else was around to change into his clothes, or how he would omit the showers all together. Eunseok noticed that if Anton left while everyone was showering that was his indirect way of saying the previous locker room talk went too far. If they brought you up, even in passing, Anton would without fail leave early the next gym session. Eunseok realized that the shrugging in his shoulders was Anton feigning indifference, and his head shake was a silent warning to not push the topic any further.

Eunseok made the mistake of assuming Anton's avoidance in talking about you was due to insecurity or shame. How could he talk about you in the locker room if there was nothing to say. What was Anton hiding, what was he lacking that made him so wary to bring you up?

Anton's non-confrontational attitude didn't help his case. If he didn't say what was bothering him they would not stop bringing it up. Eunseok and Anton’s shared friends would often tease him, chiding about his sweaty palms and the splotchy blushing mess his cheeks became at the drop of a hat. Anton’s tendency to trip over his words and his clumsiness when navigating small spaces made everyone think he was just one blunder after another. Anton did nothing to dispute this, he could get mad all he wanted but he could not deny fact. He would only sit on the bench in the locker room, eyes not focusing on anything as he shook his head and laughed to himself.

As time went on, and Anton started gaining muscle mass faster than everyone else in the group, he became extremely tightlipped when it came to you. He was still the same shy guy, batting off the teasing with a smile and a head shake, sometimes even a sly comment back that would illicit laughter. But if it was you, Anton became pointed looks and a side smile that showed annoyance. Everyone picked up on what Eunseok already knew and they credited it to jealousy too. Eunseok ended up considering a hint of possessiveness that rested underneath Anton’s compliant nature. Anton's refusal to talk about you made Eunseok believe that it was humiliating for Anton to bring up. He believed he was too afraid to admit he was the same submissive person with you like he was with his friends. 

Eunseok admittedly spent too much time thinking about the dynamics of your relationship with Anton. But in his defense, It's hard to not speculate when so much is left to the imagination. Anton's refusal to indulge his friends left so much up in the air. When Wonbin asked if you and Anton had done it and Anton's eyes got so wide they almost popped out of his head, everyone made their own assumptions. Sungchan believed you and Anton had done way more than the crew could even comprehend. Wonbin guessed that you two were waiting for marriage.

Eunseok knew it was wrong to think about it, to imagine what his friend was doing with his girlfriend in their moments alone. But he couldn’t help it. Everyone in their workout group made shots in the dark about the relationship, some were just doing it more than others. Eunseok would take the crown of being the most curious, but he just couldn’t see it, he couldn’t believe it. He had to run over the anatomy of your relationship anytime he saw you two together in an effort to make sense of it. He ended up making a shot in the dark just like his friends a long time ago. He convinced himself that you had to be the one who took the initiative, that you were the one that bossed Anton around. You were the one that coaxed him out of his shell, teaching him what you liked and didn’t like. 

His assumptions were backed with evidence. Even when you weren’t around, Anton spoke about you with devotion. Every word of yours was religion, you were name dropped in every conversation. Well she said was his favorite phrase. He bought you things he thought you’d like, stuffed in his cart before he ever thought of getting something for himself. His behavior was only worse when you were around. Anton hung to your every word. He was close to you like a shadow, holding your bags without a second thought. He slid his card into your wallet for safe keeping, took off his jacket to keep you warm before you even had the chance to be cold. He complimented you shyly each time like it was the first. You were his lockscreen and homescreen, you were his everything. Anton just always seemed so grateful, so desperate to please you. 

Eunseok believed it was natural for Anton to take such a submissive role for you in public because it was the same in the bedroom. Once he deluded himself into believing that was fact, Eunseok tried to figure out what made his friend that way and what made him avoid the topic of you two. What did you do to Anton that had him worshipping the ground you stepped on? What tricks did you do, what new world did you show him. He could only imagine what it was that had Anton so helplessly sprung. 

Laying alone in his bed at night was the only time Eunseok granted himself to think about it in depth. One hand underneath the covers while the other held his phone in landscape mode, ears straining to waiting for an insight on your relationship to leak through his headphones. 

When his vision on the video started becoming shaky and the sound through the wired headphones fell out, Eunseok started seeing it clearly. Instead of the videos found in the incognito, his mind would be replaced with visions of Anton and you. Your hands expertly on your clit while Anton silently watched the pattern. Your other hand feeling your chest, putting on a show for Anton watching your every move. Your two slender fingers being replaced with his thicker ones. Anton's unsteady and unsure movements while you swiveled your hips to make up for what he was lacking. Anton looking up to you with his big brown eyes, silently waiting for your approval. His untouched dick twitching and leaking in his pants when you’d give him a breathy just like that or a shaky affirming head nod. You guiding his hands to your body, showing him how to tease and pinch your skin just right. 

Eunseok imagined Anton going red all the way up to his ears each time he'd take his pants off. Every time without fail, as if it was your first time seeing him naked. He imagined Anton being a shaking mess when you guided his back to the bed, gently pressing on his wide shoulders. Eunseok could almost see Anton squeeze his eyes shut right before you would sink your body down on his.

He imagined Anton clenching his bedsheets desperately as you cooed at him and encouraging him to hold on. Assuring your boyfriend that you were almost there, you just needed a little more. Anton at the brink of tears telling you how badly he needed to cum. His words being cut off mid sentence as his orgasm took him completely by surprise. 

Eunseok always assumed Anton would be out of breath, out of energy after the first round. If Anton’s stamina in the gym was any indication of that he was sure his friend would want to tap out after one round. He could hear Anton's apologies, and then the tears finally spilling when you’d start grinding on him again. He'd cringe at the wet and lewd sound of him inside of you but strain to hear it all. Just one more you’d say in a demanding voice. Anton biting his lip red and swollen trying to hold back the pitiful sounds. Him apologizing more after the second wave a pleasure started kicking in and before he started speaking incoherently. Shaking his head trying to regain his composure before he’d repeat the same mistake again.

Eunseok could admit that his mind had the tendency to wander, but he had to fill in the gaps somehow. In his bedroom and his mind, where he made the rules, he had the complexities of your relationship figured out.

But as Eunseok pressed his head to the crack in the door he bared witness to the truth and everything else crumbled. 

There were instances of Eunseok seeing the dynamics you and Anton exhibited now. There was your birthday party, when Anton held your chin playfully in one hand while the other brought a frosting covered finger to your face. Eunseok remembers seeing your eyes flash and your lips parting obediently as if from muscle memory. He remembers seeing Anton’s eyes cut down to stare at your lips and him getting that same slick smile when he knew something others didn't. For a moment—before you two realized you were in the corner of the kitchen instead of the privacy of your bedroom—you looked so pliant, so willing. Eunseok saw both of you come back to the present in real time, his friends grip on your chin went back to being playful before he smeared the white frost across the apple of your cheek at the last second. 

There was that time Eunseok walked in on you two cramped together on the tiny loveseat in the common area. It was late at night then, a show neither of you were watching played on the television as you straddled Antons’ lap. Anton was consuming then, even in the dark living room Eunseok could make that out clearly. His hand on your waist pulled your frame against his, his hand clasped on the back of your neck guided you the exact way he wanted you to. You two didn’t notice Eunseok standing there then. The two of you were so caught up in eachother that you couldn’t spare anything else to look to the side. Eunseok ended up tiptoeing back to his room, closing his door shut softly just to open it up again loudly. When he reentered the living room you were suddenly on the other side of the couch, your chest heaving as Anton pretended to look at his phone relaxed and even. You were the only one that spoke to Eunseok, smiling at him sweetly like there wasn’t lipstick smudged across your lips. 

Even if Eunseok had seen Anton assert some sort of authority or dominance, it was always fleeting. Everything would happen so quick Eunseok would barely be able to catch it. Smaller moments like Anton gently pulling you the way he wanted to go, his hand resting on the back of your neck before he’d squeeze just to smile at you tensing up—things like this were gone in the blink of an eye. What Eunseok saw most of was his friend being hopelessly in love with you, smiling and blushing profusely when you called him Tonie in a sickly sweet voice.

Hearing the nickname fall from your lips was what brought Eunseok back to the present.

“Tonie” You repeated the nickname the same time Eunseok shifted closer to the crack in the door. “Too much.” You said weakly.

Eunseok was on his knees, shifting from side to side to get the view of you two through the small opening. One of his hands was planted on the ground, the same way your two feet were planted to the ground in front of the inclined workout bench. Eunseok’s other hand dared to push at the weighted door, opening it up.

“What? It's too big for you?” Anton teases.

Eunseok swears he’s not hearing things right. Anton’s tone is too condescending for this to be real. Anton was supposed to be whiny, unsure of himself, and he was supposed to be the one being asked embarrassing questions. Explicit words said with a light sneer shouldn't roll off his tongue so easily.

He shouldn't be the one that licks his lips when you whine in response before purposefully fucking you harder. You’re supposed to be the one with the cards in your hands. The only job Eunseok sees you have is the responsibility of taking all of Anton, over and over again as he pulls your body back on his.

“Too big.” You answer quickly.

You clench your hand around nothing the same time your words are cut off by a sharp thrust. Eunseok can’t believe it.

“Just a little more, baby.” Anton was seated against the incline of the bench, both hands holding your upper arms as he guided you backwards to meet his hips. He was preoccupied talking to you, instead looking at the lines of your back jerk from the movements. “Doing so good for me.” He sighed.

His voice is alot more relaxed than yours is. Each time he brings you back by the hold he has on your arms he grunts, but he is faring much better than you. You’re a mess, so different from the collected girl Anton gets shy even looking at. Eunseok can clearly see your teary eyes, your bitten lips, and how you don't care your body is spilling from your tight shirt. 

Eunseok didn’t know Anton had it in him. He didn’t know this side of you existed. He is overwhelmed by the sight, so confused by the body Anton spent so much time hiding and not talking about. Eunseok is ashamed to admit that the scene in front of him is enticing. He watches you two in your natural habitat, how you behave when no one is watching. In the small private gym it is just the two of you, falling into your separate roles to chase after the same feeling.

“Always so wet for me.” Anton says it like a fact. 

He looks away from where you too meet to look at the back of your head. Eunseok sees an almost evil smile on Anton’s face when you nod your head, trying so hard to form a coherent thought as he readjusts the hold he has on your arms.

“Feels so good.” You stammer.

Eunseok doesn’t know how long you two have been doing this. He’s never at the gym during Anton’s day of the week with you. He only swung by because he left something the day prior, he followed the sounds from his locker to here, sitting in the dark hallway of private exercise rooms watching you try to drive your hips backwards to meet Anton.

"What if I stopped?" Anton asks playfully.

“Please don’t stop.” Your tone is pathetically serious, almost pleading as you try and look back to see Anton's face.

As if you weren’t struggling enough, he takes his hands off of your arms. Without his strength your lack of energy is obvious. Eunseok can see your feet slide forward from your loss of stability, the way you helplessly whine from the loss as you try to find your footing on the wooden floor. Eunseok has to catch his breath with you, matching your deep inhales of air with quiet ones. 

Eunseok has never seen you so weak. He always imagined Anton would be the one whining as he tried to gather his energy, that it would be Anton to silently ask for help. Eunseok would’ve never thought it’d be you who ended up being a shaking mess after only bouncing your hips twice.

Eunseok thought it’d be you in Anton's place. Unaffected, hands behind your head as you admired the sight in front of you. But it’s Anton who is unabashedly dragging his eyes down your back and running his hands through his hair without a care in the world.

“Keep going.” Anton murmurs.

His tone is quiet but firm. Eunseok thinks it’s the first time he’s seen Anton boss anyone around, but you listen so quickly. You dig your nails into Anton’s hard thighs for extra leverage. Eunseok sees the muscles in your arm strain underneath your skin as you raise and lower yourself on his dick again.

“There you go.” Anton praises.

Anton leans forward to kiss your sweaty shoulder blade. His lips are right over the strap of your tank top, the one that does nothing to hide your body now. He has to readjust the front of your shirt to conceal your chest again, he has to pull down the bottom to cover your soft stomach, and pull up the other strap until it rests on your shoulder again. He pats your covered skin when you're decent again, only for it all to get ruined as you continue to ride him recklessly. In seconds your tight shirt rides up your stomach again and your chest spills from the top. He only laughs at the sight, and your bounces suddenly switch to another unstable attempt at a rhythm.

“You're struggling, baby?” Anton asks and the smile on his face only gets bigger.

Eunseok can’t stop his eyes from widening at how easily the teasing falls from Anton’s lips. His jaw drops to the floor when he sees you quickly shake your head in response.

"I got it." You lie.

Anton only hums in response, experimentally pressing his hand between your shoulder blades. Eunseok watches him apply the smallest bit of force, just to see your weak body yield to him. Anton hums again, his gaze going from the space his hand occupies to the back of your head.

“Feels good right?” He asks.

You nod your head even faster, dropping yourself on Anton’s dick so fast the sound of your ass slapping against his lap fills the room.

“So good.” You hum in response.

When Anton takes his hands away from you completely, that’s when Eunseok finally lets his hand go to his own body. As if Anton is bossing him around too, Eunseok moves the same way you do. When you tilt your head to the side so Anton can press his teeth into your neck Eunseok tips his too. When you lean back Eunseok does the same. He sits on his knees, resting back on his haunches as he palms himself over his gray sweatpants.

“Fuck.” Anton breathes to himself.

His hands are clasped behind his head watching you do all the work. The effort from before shows on his skin. Eunseok sees the sweat and the splotches of blush that paints Anton’s body and face. He can see the sweat forming on his brow and chest that makes his black compression shirt cling to him even more.

Even now, without touching you, Anton slightly flicks his hips upwards to meet you each time you come down. But he is lax, watching your body move from the force of your drops.

“Keep riding me, princess.” Anton says softly.

When your response is a little too loud, Eunseok bites his lip. His dick twitches against his palm when Anton leans forward to grip your chin in one hand. He doesn’t even have to pry his fingers between your jaw to get your lips to part. Just like on your birthday you do it mindlessly, a string of spit webbing between your drool covered lips. Just like you two seemingly wished to do on your birthday Anton brings his fingers to your mouth and presses them heavily on your tongue. Eunseok watches your lips close around him immediately, hallowing your cheeks and swirling your tongue around. Anton fucks your mouth with his two fingers, pushing deep almost causing you to gag, before pulling back.

“So good at listening to me.” Anton says.

Eunseok thinks he’s about to explode. His hand pressing against his bulge isn’t enough. Looking at you two through a crack in the door and from the reflections of the room wide mirrors isn’t enough.

“You listen to me so well.” Anton comes closer and wraps his hand that isn’t in your mouth around your waist. “If only everyone knew.” He teases.

For the first time, Eunseok watches you be defiant. Even as you continue bouncing on his lap through the burning pain in your legs, even as spit dribbles down your chin due to an overworked gag reflex, even as you let yourself be consumed by Anton’s frame. You shake your head somehow speeding up the way you drop down onto him.

“It’s a secret.” You gargle behind his now three fingers.

Eunseok’s hand wraps around his dick inside of his sweats when he sees Anton lick his lips before fake pouting. 

“Oh I know.” Anton voice drips with fake sympathy. “Our little secret.” He promises.

Eunseok feels the hairs raise on the back of his neck when Anton runs his hands over the planes of your shoulder. Eunseok watches you pause on his lap and he gets even closer to the crack in the door. His dick is twitching in his hand, precum wets his tip and in between his fingers.

Anton is out of his view when he moves his body. Eunseok scoots closer to the opening, swaying his head from side to side trying to find the angle to give his eyes the widest view.

When he gets too close, just when he finds his spot, Eunseok sees that Anton is looking at him. Narrowed eyes and a furrowed brow peaking in the darkness of the hallway Eunseok is crouched in. 

Fear shoots up his spine. Eunseok’s hand completely stills its tugging movements. He pulls in a breath so quiet and so deep that his vision spots. Anton looks directly at him. Eunseok can see Anton looking right at him, but Anton doesn’t move. He only cranes his head and narrows his eyes further trying to find someone in the shadows. Eunseok freezes like a deer in the headlights.

“Tonie.” You whimper.

Your undistracted voice makes Eunseok’s hand continue to move, even while Anton stares directly through him. Anton is still looking for something, prying eyes trying to find a presence he can feel but can’t see. 

“Tonie.” When you drag out his name, Anton goes back to you. With one last side glance at the hallway he lets his fingers slide from your mouth. “I’m so close again.” You whine.

“We gotta be fast.” Anton orders gently. 

You nod, bringing one of your hands to quickly wipe across your face. You get the spit, smeared chapstick, and tears in one go, bringing in a sniffle before you plant your hands on his thighs again. 

But when you are prepared to continue bouncing on his lap until you make even more pitiful and even louder noises, Anton has other plans. Eunseok can see it in the way he wraps both hands around your waist, he sees it as someone looking in before you can even notice. 

At the drop of a hat Anton flips you around, where you’re the one with the side of your face pressed against the incline of the bench while he mounts you from behind. You’re in a haze, completely pliant to Anton’s impatient hand that guides one of your knees to rest on the edge of the bench to open you up wider so he can slot himself between your legs. 

The change in position and balance causes you to helplessly grip the head of the bench to find stability. Once again Eunseok can no longer see Anton’s face, but he imagines he’s looking down at where your hole clenches around nothing. He sees Anton rest one of his feet on the low cushioned bar for leg curls to get an optimum angle. Eunseok can see everything this way, the way your ass wiggles towards Anton’s dick and the glisten that goes down your thigh. Eunseok can see your cheek smushed against the incline of the bench, how it causes your lips to pout and pucker. 

Eunseok can see it all, except for Anton. When he watches Anton’s hand wrap around his dick he moves in the tiny space of the hallway again. 

But this time, when Eunseok can see everything, he sees Anton staring straight at him. He’s not staring into the darkness, he’s not looking at what he thinks is a person. The way Anton's eyes widen in shock and the red deepens on his neck tells Eunseok everything he needs to know. His hand stops in his pants, even when his dick continues to pulse in his grasp. Anton freezes too. 

Eunseok and Anton both refuse to look away until you lift your heavy head from the incline. Eunseok watches you turn, completely ignoring the Eunseok shaped shadow in the crack of the door to look at your boyfriend with pleading eyes.

“Tonie, please.” Your hand blindly reaches behind you in an effort to guide Anton’s dick the rest of the way. “Don’t tease me.” You beg.

Anton can barely pull himself away from Eunseok slowly continuing to tug at himself again to look at you. He leans forward, pressing his shirt clad chest to your back to kiss your cheek. He moves his hips out of the way, making your hand hover in space, looking for something Anton purposefully moved out of reach. When you whine again he smiles against the apple of your cheek.

“Not teasing you, babe.” He says.

“Yes you are.” You pout, and Eunseok can almost hear the beginning of a cry in your voice.

When you close your eyes to preen your head towards Anton’s lips, he casts another glance to Eunseok. His confused state turns to a jealous one when he realizes Eunseok hasn’t stopped his ministrations on himself. Anton purposefully obstructs Eunseok’s view, wedging his body between your ass and Eunseok’s line of sight. He perches his foot on the leg curl bar again, and casts one more look to Eunseok. The look Anton gives Eunseok shatters everything. The upturn in his lips, the amusement in knowing what Eunseok is doing on the other end of the door, the way he hides you from Eunseok’s view. 

It’s a quick look, one that disappears fast like all the other cracks Eunseok has seen in Anton’s resolve. Quickly he is sucked back into the moment and you, his head tilts back from the relief the same time he brings a hand down on the swell of your ass that Eunseok can’t see.

When Eunseok can no longer handle the view of Anton’s rippling muscles underneath his compression shirt he looks down to himself instead. He’s so close, on the same cusp of insanity that you’re on. Anton knows it, Eunseok knows he does. His hands wrap around your waist to bring your hips back quickly. He fucks you with a fervor that shakes the weight stand your other hand clings to.

“Squeezing me so tight.” Anton leans forward to clasp his hand over yours. Eunseok can’t see a single part of you as Anton uses his body to cover you completely. He speaks loud enough for Eunseok to hear, the lewd sounds you make leaks into the hallway after bouncing off the mirrored walls. “Doing that on purpose?” He asks.

You don’t even speak anymore. Only pitched moans are pulled from the back of your throat. You were always the talker between the two of you. Anton nodding along to every word you say. Now he is the one filling in the gaps of silence, pinching your cheek playfully when he realizes you have nothing to say.

“Must feel really good, huh?” He teases.

Eunseok doesn’t blame you for the pathetic yeah that escapes your lips almost instantly. His hand speeds up in his sweats, the fabric jumps as the metal equipment shakes around you two.

“Are you gonna cum?” Anton asks.

Eunseok paints his hand and the inside of his pants before you can answer. His orgasm takes him so suddenly his pitches forward, his hand presses into the wall as he looks down at the ground in front of him. He sees his thighs twitch as his whole body contracts. Eunseok’s sweaty hair cascades and blocks his vision as his hips start rutting into his hand. He fucks his hand like a hormonal teenager while Anton commands you to cum around him. His words drown out the tiny sound that slips past Eunseok’s bitten lips. 

When Eunseok looks up from the ground, he can see Anton give you one final thrust before he pulls out completely. Anton pumps his dick quickly as you come down from the same high Eunseok just experienced. He watches Anton reach down quickly into his bag before he finally releases. The amount of control and precision Anton makes Eunseok realize he is wearing the mess he made, that there is already an obvious stain forming right in the front. 

Anton is tidy, his mess is clean before you even catch your breath. You’re weak and spent, back against the incline of the bench as you look up to Anton looking down at you. Your weak hand pinches and prods at his thick thighs, the other grazes over his taut lower stomach. You can’t bring yourself to widen your sleepy eyes, you can barely stifle a yawn as you lean further into the bench.

One second Anton is solid underneath you, the next he is soft and giggling. You can only give him a weak smile as you continue touching him. As if a switch had been flipped you’re no longer feeling him up but tickling him. He playfully grabs your hands, both wrists contain in your hand as he wipes away the tears collected at your waterline. 

Eunseok is bewildered to see the bright smile on Anton’s lips. He’s no longer eating you alive but putting you back together, guiding your legs into an extra pair of sweats he had stuffed in his gym bag. Anton tends to you before he even thinks about tending to himself, kissing your cheeks sweetly in between each action.

You’re still collecting yourself when Anton is ready to go. He has to pull you up from the bench with both hands, he has to offer to carry you before you shake your head and lament you can walk. 

Eunseok sneaked off long before Anton opened the door for you the rest of the way and let you stagger through first. He was out of the parking lot before Anton buckled you into the passenger seat. He was home laying in bed by the time Anton started running a warm shower for you.

Eunseok absolutely didn’t know Anton had it in him.

[01zfan]

freaky | riize

(a repost) of my humble opinion and ranking of who’s the most to least freaky/kinky in riize

contains: kink mentions, suggestive, nothing explicit

shotaro

i absolutely know that this man is a FREAK. i know shotaro has a reputation of being a cutie and i am not taking that away from him at all, but something about the way he carries himself and the unwavering confidence he has just lets me know he gets DOWN he does NOT PLAY. like he knows he’s cute and he fully uses that to his advantage. i think he also loves the fact that nobody would know or think he has it in him either. he wouldn’t be the type that tries to prove himself with it because i fully believe shotaro is kind of the private type. he would enjoy knowing that side of him is reserved for you and you alone. 

he’d be into everything but nothing at the same time, and that makes him DANGEROUS. very unpredictable, pulling out wild cards left and right. you tried shibari last week, now he’s trying to sneak you to a secluded area of the party you guys are at to have a quickie. he’s not impartial to anything, he just wants to have a good time and make sure you’re having an even better one.

i personally see shotaro as a toy connoisseur, he knows how to use everything arguably even better than you do. you haven’t used every setting on your vibrator? he’s gonna change that. you only use one stimulant at a time? he’s gonna change that too. i think he also is probably constantly coming up with different things to spice up sex life. let’s try something new is his favorite phrase. shotaro is a switch, but definitely favors and leans towards the playful dom role. very very very attentive so i think he would also like bringing up stuff he thinks you’d be into but too shy to admit. if you are less experienced than him he is going to eat you alive good luck.

more underneath the cut!

anton

if shotaro’s favorite phrase is let’s try this, anton’s is can we try this? anton would be a tough nut to crack in bed. i think it would take awhile for him to even make louder noises in bed, keeping to whimpers and content little sighs. but after awhile when you guys have built a rapport and trust i think he would let the freak out, but as gently as possible. prefacing every proposal with a safe word and a sheepish can we try this? even if he’s already halfway to losing his mind. ohhhh he’d be so happy when you’d say yes and offer to do all the work too.i believe anton would be really down to experiment so that’s why he’s very high on the list. very much down to try everything atleast once.

i see anton as a switch too and depending on what he’s feeling like depends on which kinks you’ll see. if he’s feeling submissive it’s alot to do with humiliation and degradation. he genuinely wouldn’t even know how to bring it up, he just knows you like it when you tease and coo at him condescendingly. there’d be alot of can i’s and yes please’s from both of you. 

when anton is dominant i can see him being on the rougher side. throwing all that weight around, throwing YOU around. i don’t think he’s used to his strength all the way, so there would be moments where you gotta tell him to chill out before he breaks you LMAO. i can see him aas the type to kinda get lost in the moment like when he’s locked in he is locked in. very much into restricting your movements, mating press where he’s holding your arms into the mattress above your head. he’d be whispering crazy shit in your ear too throwing you for an absolute loop. he’d absolutely get sidetracked, smacking your ass and everything without even realizing how strong he is.

sohee

sohee is the same as anton, only difference is that he wouldn’t be the one to initiate kink exploration. i don’t think sohee really has any kinks honestly, but he would be down to try mostly anything. there are some hard stops for him and he absolutely wouldn’t hesitate to tell you that. but he’s really down to get his dick wet, so in the moment he’d be down to do alot.

i also think that sohee would be alot of fun to try new things with because he’d be very joking and the atmosphere would be very playful and comfortable. but he’d also flip like a switch, telling you when something felt really good or if he discovered something new about himself. also i think sohee would really mainly be into trying new positions? i think he’d probably be the most well versed in positions among riize members, so that puts him high on the list in my opinion. he’d be the here do this instead type, next thing you know you’re in a position you didn’t even think was possible.

eunseok

now eunseok…he’s kinda hard to read honestly. i don’t necessarily think he’s not into things, but i think there’s alot of stuff he doesn’t prefer to do. like there are things in his safe zone and then things that are not, and he prefers to not venture outside of his bubble. but it’s funny because the things he’s comfortable with are arguably more crazy than the stuff he’s uncomfortable with. like you could have him tied down till the sun comes up but god forbid you try to put a finger in his butt or something.

but i think eunseok would be down for exploration, however he’d know if he liked it or not within maybe a minute. if he didn’t like it he would want to go back to the stuff you two usually do (which once again, could be even crazier than the thing you two were trying). i see him as another toy connoisseur, i think i can see him using toys more often than he uses his dick. very very very attentive, so he wants to watch your every move and that can sometimes be hard when he’s inside of you. so he likes to use toys (but only one specific setting) and watching you fall apart. 

wonbin

wonbin is pretty low on this list because i don’t see him as the type to have kinks. i think he sees it as a distraction from actual sex. i think however wonbin would have an interest in kinks that enhance the senses or something that involves them heavily. something like blindfolds, very light/minimal bondage, maybe food play if he’s feeling extra freaky. but i don’t really see wonbin being open to trying too much either i think he’s very particular about sex so most kinks probably are like a turn off to him. that doesn’t mean he doesn’t get messy though! i think how possessive he is comes into play, very much into marking and spitting. 

sungchan

my baby. my husband. the love of my life. this may be controversial but i think he is very vanilla. simply because he is very traditional and he gives me kind of sheltered vibes so i don’t really see him as the type to be into anything crazier than like…backshots and/or breeding LMFAO. also he seems like the possessive type as well so i don’t think he’d be into anything outside of private spaces like the other members.

but sungchan is a very interesting case because i think he aims to please and that’s his main objective in bed. also he’s a virgo and they’re always bettering themselves so i think he makes up for it by being the Best at what he does. so if you’re getting missionary from sungchan he is absolutely hitting the deepest spots, he has your legs stretched further than you thought they could go. he has your feet behind his head or YOUR head asking you doesn’t this feel so much better? and if you’re getting backshots from him oh it’s absolutely over. he’s manhandling you into place, keeping your form, slapping your ass. he is absolutely giving you the work blowing your back all the way out. almost always ends sex with the mating press and cumming inside.

another thing about sungchan is i think he is really into things having to do with discipline. not necessarily roleplaying or dominance but stuff like orgasm denial or getting you to cum multiple times. this observation comes from his self-discipline when it comes to working out and not drinking so i feel like it would translate to the bedroom too. his mindset is very much if i can do it, you can too. 

i can see his possessiveness coming into play too where he is constantly keeping you as close as possible to him (sometimes ends with you being crushed in a mating press but like in the best way possible).

[01zfan]

glasses pt. 2 | s. es

nerd!eunseok x reader | 6k words

the much requested (and commissioned) continuation of this! hope you guys enjoy this was so fun to write. i might’ve found my new favorite couple RUH ROH!

contains: no warnings hehe

glasses: one | two

“Should I leave?” You asked.

Eunseok turned around in his seat so fast it tipped to the side from the momentum. All the shame he felt was replaced with the overwhelming urge to get you to stay. He shook his head blindly, knowing that you could see him better than he could see you. Despite having no vision he wished that his glasses still were sitting pretty on your face, the silver band floating over the bridge of your nose and catching the light each time you turned your head. Instead, his glasses were next to his keyboard, taken off in a haste as his current situation sank in. 

The discord server was still going crazy—Eunseok was sure of it. When he came to the realization that he was still very much in the voice chat and unknowingly gave his friends a show the first thing he did was take off his glasses. He was hoping that somehow, someway, his frames were actually fooling him instead of helping him see clearly. 

After his thick frames were discarded Eunseok rapidly blinked as if that would restore his blurry vision. The words on his screen moved too fast for his still hazy mind to comprehend. Was the text on his computer always this small? The tiny words floated down his screen and he had to lean close to try and understand what was being said. He reread messages over and over again and the pings for his name shook inside of his skull. He leaned even closer to the screen of his computer, inwardly saying a final prayer hoping that it was all fake.

But it was real, very much real, and everyone was already telling dramatic retellings of it. The people in Eunseok’s small circle that were never active spoke, and those who laid witness to Eunseok getting head for the very first time were already sharing their dramatic retellings. Eunseok couldn’t even will his fingers to type, to give some sort of excuse or try to get himself out of the hole he groaned and moaned himself into. His fingers hesitated over the keyboard, unable to come up with anything. 

When tarotime pinged him for the nth time, Eunseok absolutely couldn’t take it anymore. He closed out of the app correctly and shut his computer completely off before turning his monitor off too. He started at himself in the reflection of his screen before bringing his hands to his face in defeat.

He only got the chance to look at his reflection for a second before you came into view.

After you asked you question the first time Eunseok turned in his seat to watch your blurry hand raise to wipe your face. You wiped away the last of him from your lips and chin, the fluid gliding across your hand and showed a sheen anytime it caught the light. When you were done you brought the back of your hand down to your waist, then dropped it completely to mess with the bottom of your shirt. 

“It’s okay if you want me to leave.” You repeated.

Eunseok felt like you loomed over him. Even if he couldn’t see your confidence he could feel it. He could hear it in the way you asked if you should go home. There was no embarrassment in your voice like the humiliating heat Eunseok felt across his body, and there was no malice either. You asked the question casually, so nonchalant it almost made Eunseok’s chest hurt. He didn’t wish to see you clearly, he firmly believed at this point his poor heart just couldn’t take it.

All he could do was just shake his head again, trying to not think about his sweats that were only pulled halfway up his thigh.

You rocked from foot to foot and silence filled the room. Eunseok wasn’t sure what was next, he silently prayed again that you would take the initiative like you have all the other times.

When you sat down on the edge of his bed he visibly perked up. Eunseok watched you hesitate for a moment before leaning forward, eyes flitting between his crotch and his face.

“Wanna keep going?” You asked.

Eunseok nodded his head and made his way towards his bed like a bug to a light. When you took off your shirt and started shimmying out of your pants Eunseok was in a daze, following your lead. He had his clothes off before you, throwing them somewhere around his room as you backed further onto his bed. Your books and papers were pushed aside, some of your things even falling over the edge onto the ground.

By the time you were completely undressed you came to a halt, and Eunseok sat down at the foot of his bed looking at you. He paused before he could come to you completely, realizing that he was thinking about everything except for what to do at this part. He stayed in his place on the mattress, and once again silence filled the air.

He could tell that you knew he was nervous. He hadn’t moved an inch since he got on the bed. His still balled up fists caused tiny craters in the mattress, physical evidence of his hesitancy. He was too scared to look past your mid-thigh, his eyes focused on your bent knees and the area that was so close to your core.

He knew he should’ve made a move. This was the part where he was supposed to crawl further up on the bed and slot himself between your legs before mounting you. He was supposed to be pressing fervent kisses to your face and biting his lip to hold back moans but instead he was just there, fists digging further into the mattress as he tried working to nerve to look at the rest of your body.

Eunseok knew he was still for too long when you propped yourself back up on your elbows. He quickly surpassed the rest of your body to focus on your face. He saw you lean your head to the side as your hand started mindlessly rubbing your leg. 

“Eunseok,” He heard the softness in your voice and for the first time he heard hesitancy in your voice. “Have you ever been with someone before?” You asked.

Technically he has. He lost his virginity with his longtime girlfriend before college. They didn’t do it again outside of that one time though, the two of them came to the silent agreement that once was enough. His other intimate endeavors included kissing a girl at a frat party during an insanely juvenile game of spin the bottle and got an aggressively dry handjob in Sungchan’s room at another party. There was also the time he was making out with a girl who pulled away in the middle of it to say that he was getting spit all over her. 

(Needless to say, Eunseok doesn’t go to parties anymore)

“I have.” He answered back.

So by no means was he a virgin, but he was terribly unexperienced with instances that had him avoiding intimacy at all costs. Eunseok had actually started to think he was cursed when it came to anything beyond holding hands. He would’ve never thought he’d be in a situation where both parties were seemingly craving more.

“Are you nervous?” You asked.

Eunseok heard the softness in your voice as you continued playing with your leg. Your knees had eventually come together, closing off the view of your core that Eunseok took for granted. He needed to see all of you again, or atleast have the opportunity to. He had the urge to put a gentle hand on top of your knee and gently pry your legs apart until he got a full view of you again. He flattened his fists to palms on his bed, imagining the way it’s feel against your knee. 

When he took a moment to answer your question you tilted your head to the side. Eunseok watched you as you sat up on the bed, one of your legs extending past his body while the other stayed close to you. Eunseok watched you reach out your hands towards him, palms facing upwards as a smile stretched across your face. He gave you your hands and moved backwards to sit at the end of his mattress.

Eunseok looked down, trying his best to not linger on the sight of your chest before he looked down at your hands. You rubbed your thumb over his knuckles soothingly, so contradictory from the mission you were clearly on when you came into his apartment earlier. Eunseok told himself countless times that if you were only looking to have sex with the quiet nerd in your class all you had to do was ask him nicely; but here you were showing all signs that this was more than just sex. You even leaned forward to kiss his cheek before leaning back to your original position.

“Don’t be nervous.” You assured.

You pulled Eunseok’s hand slightly towards you and when he gave in completely you wasted no time. You guided both of his hands by the wrists to your chest, leaning into his still palms.

Eunseok’s eyes were wide as saucers, and for the first time the whole night he stared at parts of your body he’s never seen before. He looked at his hands placed over your chest, how he could see patches of your skin peaking through the space between his fingers. He was in awe at how soft you were, how you fit in his palm, and how you arched your back to bring your chest further into him. 

When he was still frozen you giggled lightly. You managed to make something so embarrassing for Eunseok lighthearted, and he felt himself becoming even more flustered. He had watched his fair share of porn and heard more than enough stories from his friends, he knew what he had to do. But he was completely lost on what to do with his hands thats were on your chest that rested so perfectly against his palms.

“You don’t know what to do, right?” You asked, still smiling.

When Eunseok shook his head he felt you hands clasp over his to mimic a grabbing motion.

“Squeeze them.” You said.

Eunseok took a peak upwards at your face and his lips parted at the sight. How you seemed more lost than he felt was beyond him. You had wet your lips at some point, and started chewing on them after you gave him instructions. Eunseok stayed locked in on your face as he splayed his hand over more space on your chest. He dug lightly dug his fingertips into your skin, and you tilted your head back. 

He pressed his palms deep into your chest and he felt the goosebumps raise on his skin as you let out a content sigh.

He continued the ministrations until your legs parted and your feet were planted on both sides of Eunseok’s body. He was getting surrounded by you without even knowing it, he was only focused on feeling more of your chest and drawing out the same sounds you coaxed from him. Your hand went from Eunseok’s wrist to his arms, then to his hands as you guided them to press deeper.

Eunseok made the conscious decision to keep his body out of your reach. He wanted so desperately to control the tempo. He wanted to at the very least try and give you the same pleasure you gave him. 

He focused on your chest, how you let in a sharp exhale when he focused on pinching your hardened nipples. He thought back to the times it was cold in the lecture hall and he had to do everything in his might to not look down and it made his hands falter. He squeezed a little to hard and heard your gasp of pain, but before he could apologize he felt you preen your chest even further to his hands. So he tweaked your nipples again, and you let out that same sound again. 

Your hands had given up trying to touch more of Eunseok, focusing on grabbing at anything now. He watched you alternate between pinching the sheets and rubbing your own body. You eventually leaned back to prop your body up by your hands, letting out shaky breaths as you closed your eyes and let your head lean on one of your shoulders.

He was getting high off the sight of you being in this position and drunk off the fact that it was because of him. He was the one causing you to whine when he pinched your skin particularly hard, it was him causing you to scoot your body closer and closer to his on the mattress. 

Eunseok was sure he could’ve spent the rest of the night feeling you up. Being able to see something so beautiful so clearly was hypnotic. The way your head lulled from side to side, your chest raising and lowering, and occasional hitches in your breathing made Eunseok forget about his hardening dick that twitched and leaked precum on his thigh and lower stomach. Stopping was the furthest thing on his mind, he didn’t think he was capable of stopping. Even when your hands came back to his wrists he still ghosted the motions over your chest.

“Eunseok.” You whined.

He looked at your partially closed eyes and your furrowed eyebrows. You had an expression he didn’t know how to describe, but it reminded him of all the times you sat by him in class and complained about how badly you wanted food. You spoke with a pout, and brought his hands down to rest on your thighs. His hand was resting on the part of your body he was too scared to look past minutes ago. You guided his hand further down and Eunseok could feel the heat radiating off of you.

“Feel how wet I am.” You said.

Eunseok’s eyes widened again at your invitation. The fortitude he built from kneading your chest crumbled in an instant at the undiscovered territory of your inner thighs and what was between it. He palmed and squeezed at the soft skin of your inner thigh the same way he did with your chest, but this time it garnered a reaction of pouty lips and a small shake of your head. 

For a moment Eunseok thought he was doing something wrong, he thought that he was about to add another experience to his list of embarrassments. But instead Eunseok watched you move your body closer to his as your pout and furrowed eyebrows deepened. You parted your wet and bitten lips after swallowing the spit that gathered in your mouth.

“Please.” 

You begged. You didn’t ask him the same way you asked about a question on an assignment or what the prescription was on his thick lenses. You begged him with glassy eyes that looked ready to spill tears at any moment and a pathetic hold on his forearm that desperately wanted to push his hand further down. Eunseok decided in that moment of silence between another one of your whines that he was going to give you everything he had, even if he necessarily didn’t know what that meant yet. So he followed the warmth and the softness all the way to the sensitive bundle of nerves that sat at the top. 

Instantly your grip on his forearm tightened. He watched your chest raise from the abrupt stimulation and your knees try to come together. Eunseok let out a shaky breath of his own before trailing his hand further down. He felt the wet stickiness with his middle finger before the rest of his hand followed. He took a peak down at his hand, trying to make sense of the lewd squelching that filled the air just by him playing with your chest. your other hand dug into the sheets and Eunseok started experimentally spreading your slick around in a circular motion with his middle finger and index finger. He was making a mess, feeling your fluttering hole he was sure was going to swallow his fingers any second. 

He looked back to your face and you silent told him he was doing something right. You eyes were closed tight, nodding slightly each time he rubbed a particular way. He felt a new wave of warmth coat his fingers and you finally parted your lips to let the first moan fall out.

“Feels good.” You said.

Eunseok only hummed in response but he felt himself already getting lost. One part of him couldn’t stop touching you, but another part of him strays even further down the path. He feels your slick between his fingers, wet and sticky and more just keeps coming out for him. Your moans sound so sweet, the way you preen your body towards him makes him hungry. Eunseok needs a taste, he craves it and before he can even comprehend how he feels the urge to stick his face between your legs consumes him whole. 

He looks up from his hands to your hazy eyes. You were looking down too, but in a split second you are holding burning eye contact. Eunseok didn’t know what he was doing when he pulled his hands away from your clit to stick his fingers into his mouth. He basked in the sight of your eyes widened in shock, the way your whole body froze as your foggy mind registered what he was doing. Your reaction made him want to keep going; for a reason he couldn’t quite explain he wanted to shock you more and more until you didn’t know what he was going to do next. So he took his fingers out of his mouth and put a hand to your chest, gently pushing you down while he also got lower.

Your chest raised in anticipation as you made it to your back and Eunseok was on his stomach between your legs. He still looked at you, one hand still on your chest while his other guided your legs to bend them further.

“Can I eat you out?” He asked.

His voice was hoarse, Eunseok realized that his throat was dry from his open mouthed sighs.  He could also see so clearly how you went through the inner struggle of not wanting to push Eunseok further than he could go, but you also wanted relief so bad. Eunseok drove the point home that he wanted your relief arguably more than you did by kissing your inner thigh. 

“Yes.” You breathed.

Eunseok could’ve cut the tension with a knife. For a split second after having your permission Eunseok remembered how inexperienced he was. He had never been in a situation like this, evident in the way he had to repeat the Can I in his initial question. You were intimidating even if Eunseok knew you were one of the nicest people he’s ever met. The atmosphere surrounding you was daunting, somedays so strong that Eunseok had to avoid your eye contact. The worst part was that you seemed to be so unaware of it too, how you were just so pretty it almost hurt him. It made the expectation Eunseok set for himself loom over you both, like a dark shadow behind your back that sat on his bed frame. He was determined to make you feel good, he just had to find out what that looked like.

“You can start out slow.” You say.

He hears your suggestion, far off in his mind he hears the kindness in your voice as you take his lack of experience into consideration. But when he sees the slick that still wets his fingers and the way you clench around nothing, everything else leaves his mind. Eunseok has tunnel vision, he can’t even spare an okay of acknowledgment before he presses a wet kiss to your slit.

“Wow.” Eunseok looks up to to see your wide eyes. He prays he’s doing the right thing when he kisses your cunt again and sticks his tongue as far as it will go into you. He’s rewarded with the visible reaction of your body loosening and a quick hand going to his hair. “Oh wow.” You repeat. 

He hesitates before continuing, but he starts kissing your cunt to try and get another reaction from you. He alternates between your face, darting his eyes away when you periodically open your eyes to look at him.

Eunseok can feel his glasses start to fog again. The way he’s pushed into your heat causes the glasses to come up at an awkward angle, he can feel his large lens pressing into the apple of his cheek. He can’t bring himself to ask you to take off his glasses, or take a break from eating you out to put them on the bed next to him. He doesn’t want to, he doesn’t want to miss the sight of your chest jumping when he hits the right spot or your eyes becoming more and more teary. This is something that Eunseok has to see as clearly as possible, cleaning his glasses after the fact is the least of his worries. 

“Are you sure you haven’t done this before?” You ask out of breath.

The strain of his dick started turning to an aching pain as he listened to your indirect compliment. Eunseok can tell you’re trying so hard to maintain your composure, but it’s lost when your thighs close around his head. He can feel his confidence increase by tenfold when your hand leaves his hair and grabs his. You hold it desperately over your stomach and slightly grind your hips into his mouth.

Even with everything muffled he could still hear your breathy moans clearly, bouncing around the walls of his room and his skull. Your hand tightened around his, and Eunseok used his hand that was underneath your thigh to push you upwards further into his mouth. Your stomach tensed underneath your joined hands and Eunseok could feel your legs twitch around his head. Without even realizing he started pressing his dick further to the mattress, looking for some relief in the form of friction. He moaned into your cunt from the feeling, earning another taste of slick coming from your clenching hole.

“You taste so good.” Eunseok answers.

He can’t even bring himself to pull away completely. He murmurs the words into your cunt, causing a wave of vibration that has you pressing your back further into the mattress. 

“So pretty.” He continued.

Everything about you was so pretty it was unfair. You were the embodiment of the word, from your personality to your body that Eunseok couldn’t stop touching. You had the prettiest sounds slipping from your pretty lips, that only got louder and louder the messier Eunseok’s kisses got.

“Eunseok,” You pulled at his hand and he looked up to see your entire body reacting. “I’m close.” You moaned. 

Nothing could stop Eunseok after he heard that. You were pretty even when you were on the verge of losing your mind, talking so sweet and quick to try and get the words out as fast as possible. Eunseok took the chance to let go of your thigh and wrap it around your leg. He found the sensitive bundle of nerves that made you jump the first time he touched you and pressed down on it. You both jumped at the same time, Eunseok felt your nails dig deep into the back of his hand. He kept going, alternating between pressing hard on the nub and rubbing it. When his touches became gently matching his kisses he saw you quickly nod your head.

“Just like that.” You whimpered.

So that’s what Eunseok did. He continued doing it just like that until your thighs closed even harder around his head and your breathy high-pitched moans turned to a prolonged one. He continued doing it just like that while your entire body seized up and he tasted another you on his tongue. He even continued to do it just like that while your legs twitched around his head and he heard unintelligible words fill the air. 

He didn’t stop until your legs pulled away from the sides of his head and you started pulling his arm upwards. Eunseok reluctantly took his hands and mouth away from you and let you pull him up. He wasn’t even against your body completely before you lifted yours to kiss him.

He could still taste you on his tongue, then he felt you indulge in the taste as your tongue pushed past his lips. The kiss was messy, strings of your spit and slick kept your mouths together. Your hand went back to his hair and another went to his face to guide him the way you wanted to be kissed. 

Eunseok tried to focus on the way your lips moved against his, but when he felt his already aching dick press against your thigh he had to pull away. Your lips detached with a wet sound, and Eunseok watched you try and figure out what was wrong. The problem was right underneath him, with a hand on his face and soft against the rest of his body. You were nothing like the mattress he was pressed against moments before, you were warm and gave Eunseok so much stimulation he was convinced he was going to explode then and there.

“Are you okay?” You asked.

Eunseok nodded even though it couldn’t have been further from the truth. His dick was aching and he needed to please you so bad he was convinced he was going to die from it. When you shifted underneath him he groaned and a hand went to your waist. He gripped you so hard it caused you to tense up. When Eunseok opened his eyes getting ready to apologize he saw that same smile across your face before you got on your knees for him.

“You’re so hard.” You said, still smiling.

Eunseok nodded again, this time letting his head hang pathetically low. He felt your leg grind against his dick and he ducked into the crook of your neck to moan. You continued rubbing your leg against his dick, and Eunseok started letting desperate whines and strains of moans into your skin. He could barely see, driven by your inhales and the churning feeling he got in his stomach. When you stopped moving your leg Eunseok’s urge to chase that feeling took control. He started grinding his dick against your leg, finding a slow drag that let him feel the most of your soft skin as possible. 

He started huffing into the skin of your shoulder, filling the same space with hot air as he screwed his eyes shut. Eunseok knew he was close to losing it then and there until you pulled his head from the crook of your shoulder to look you in the eyes. Eunseok’s fogging glasses got in the way, but the obstruction was clear when your hand took them off. Eunseok blinked from the change in vision, but he focused on your lips to see the words fall from your lips.

“Do you want to have sex?” You asked.

“Yes.” Eunseok felt his dick twitch against your thigh. “I want to make you feel good.” He added quickly.

Eunseok saw you try and reach out from under him towards the other side of the bed. Eunseok followed your hand and saw your school supplies that were at some point pushed to the side you two didn’t occupy. He watched your hand try to grab your open backpack that was just out of reach. He brought it to you the rest of the way and saw your hand disappear into the bag. You felt around for a moment before presenting the blue foil packet of a condom.

“I wanna make you feel good too.” You said.

Eunseok went back on his haunches after grabbing the packet from your hands. He watched your eyes shamelessly stare at his hard dick, how it bobbed and twitched and almost looked angry. He opened the packet slowly, crumbling the foil in his hand without knowing where to put it. When you saw him look from side to side you held your hand in front of him. Eunseok gave you the trash. 

He waited to put the condom on, wanting all your attention after you put the trash on his bedside table. He felt cocky having your attention, seeing the outline of your head focused on his hand and his dick. Without knowing if he was doing it right he slid the condom on slowly, and even went as far as pumping his length a few times. Eunseok believed he was hiding his inexperience well, or at the very least you were so excited that it didn’t matter anyway. All he knew was that he never got the chance to ask if it was on properly before you were pulling on him again so he could mount you.

When Eunseok was on top of you, you didn’t hesitate to grab his dick. A small part of him wanted to retreat back to the crook of your neck, but he wanted to look at you more than anything. So he fought through the instinct to close his eyes in bliss to stare look at you directly. 

“Do you know how long I’ve wanted you?” You asked.

Eunseok shook his head, confused on how you expected him to form a coherent thought much less a response with the grip you had on his dick. He forgot about the rubber separating his bare skin from yours as you continued pumping him, cooing each time he groaned desperately. 

“So nice to me even when I purposely annoy you.” Eunseok felt you tap the head of his dick against your cunt. Both of your bodies reacted the same way, hitched breaths and chests inching even closer together. “Always letting me copy off your work, too.” You add.

Eunseok felt you guide his dick to your entrance. He could already feel your hole clenching around nothing as he prodded it with his tip.

“So pretty.” Eunseok said.

He wished he could say more than the two words that he had to strangle out of his throat. He’d just have to save everything else he wanted to say for the future if he was lucky enough. You seemed to still understand the sentiment though, because the teasing smile you had turned into a sincere one before you kissed his forehead.

“Thank you, baby.” You said.

He felt you shimmy your body further down so his tip pressed past your slit. Even from the shallow penetration Eunseok already felt himself getting dangerously close to the edge.

But you were unfazed. You seemed to enjoy Eunseok already being so high-strung so quickly. He felt your hand on his shoulder blade, pressing gently to bring his body closer to yours. He felt your hole clench around him again, he was one push away from feeling you completely wrapped around him.

“Make me feel good.”

Eunseok pushed forward, feeling your tight walls contract around his dick before loosening completely. He slid in, all the way until his hips kissed yours. He fit perfect inside you, like two puzzle pieces coming together. You let out a weak moan, and Eunseok felt you pulse around him as you dug your nails into his shoulder blades.

“So big.” You said. 

Eunseok was going to have an uncontrollable ego if you kept this up. He was also going to finish embarrassingly quick if you kept whimpering each time you tried moving your hips to get another shallow thrust. He had to tighten his grip on your waist to hold you in place, but even that didn’t stop you. Between your sounds, the squeezing, and your desperate need for more of him he didn’t stand a chance. He let his head hang low and his grip became bruising on your body.

“Please stop moving.” He moaned pitifully.

Instantly you stopped. You still whimpered the same, and your walls fluttered around his dick but he didn’t have to worry about you grinding your hips against his. He had no idea you were such a good listener.

“I need more.” You still did not move your hips. “Please give me more.” You whined.

Eunseok felt another wave of control over him at your plea. He drew his hips back, despite your body’s attempt to keep him inside. You sucked him back in with ease, and when you whined again Eunseok drove his hips forward a little faster.

“Give me more.” You repeated.

Eunseok held his breath and picked up the pace. He felt your legs rub against his body and before he knew it he had one over his arm. The new angle had you arching your back, and Eunseok felt the sweat return across his body. He started falling into a pace he wasn’t sure he himself could keep up with, but he became fixated on the pleasure he was in pursuit of. He looked you in your eyes, glassy and wet all because of him. He knew he was going to become a problem, fully enabled and fed by your reactions to him. 

“You’re so hot and you don’t even know it.” You moaned.

Eunseok seemingly didn’t know anything. If he could give up everything else to know your ins-and-outs he would. He hoped he was on the right path with you now, that you liked the pace he set that caused your hips to smack against his.

“Can I kiss you?” Eunseok asked between thrusts.

You nodded your head before lifting it to his. Your lips collided hastily, abandoning technique in favor of messy contact. You tongues clashed and almost made Eunseok’s pace crumble. He was trying to do it all for you, to bring you the most pleasure he possibly could. He was getting dangerously close to his peak, terrified that you weren’t right there with him.

“I’m close.” He warned.

Eunseok felt your leg that he wasn’t holding wrap around his waist to keep him in place. You started lifting your hips to meet his thrusts, moaning at the feeling of Eunseok hitting deep inside of you. 

“Cum for me, Eunseok.” You whimpered.

Eunseok’s hips faltered inside of you and he let out a final suppressed moan as he emptied into his condom. He felt his balls tighten and his dick twitch inside of you as your walls continued to squeeze him. It felt like you were taking everything he had in him, Eunseok lost his energy so fast his body he kept hovered over you pressed into yours. He laid his sweat head of your chest, breathing rapidly as he gave you the final spurts of his cum.

For awhile he had no thoughts in his head. He didn’t know anything, he wasn’t even sure if he was still in his room. But he was reminded of the sounds you made when he was between your legs and how you didn’t make those sounds yet. Almost instantly Eunseok lifted his body yours, looking down at you in horror. You had a smile on your face, like you already knew what he was going to say.

“Oh my God.” Eunseok’s voice was still weak as he looked down at you. “I’m so sorry.” He said.

You shook your head and pushed hair away from his face before kissing the bare skin of his forehead.

“Don’t worry about it.” You assured. Eunseok felt a full shiver go through his body as his dick slid out of you. The slimy latex of the condom still clung to his dick and the thought of taking it off almost made him shiver again. “I’m sure you’ll be able to make it up to me later, right?” You asked, reaching towards his condom.

Eunseok nodded, feeling that same heat span across his body again.

here is my ko-fi if you wish to commission me or leave a one time tip to support me further! thank you for reading👩‍💻🕺🫂

[01zfan]

glasses | s. es

nerd!eunseok x reader | 6.4k words

eunseok in glasses does something incredibly crazy to me…

contains: blowjob, the reader kinda plots on him im ngl LMFAO

glasses: one | two

eunseok pushes his glasses up by the thin metal resting over the bridge of his nose. the slides projected onto the whiteboard in front of him is no longer a blur, but he still has to narrow his eyes to see the table containing the numbers. eunseok convinces himself that he’s tired and that his constant need to refocus his eyes would be cured by a long nights rest. he doesn’t even want to consider having to schedule an appointment to the optometrist. the thought of being on the phone is already nauseating enough, but having to remember his insurance and speak in a cheery voice? 

“i rather die.” eunseok mumbles to himself, barely above a whisper as he looks to the board and then back to his notebook.

he rather wait for the semester to be over and then get his mother to schedule the appointment for him when he goes back home. all eunseok would have to do is bump into a few things around the house and squint a little harder and his mom would have the appointment marked on the fridge by the end of the night. 

eunseok was too busy looking back and forth between his notebook and the whiteboard to notice you tapping the eraser end of your pencil against your notebook. the sound was usually enough to get the attention of eunseok, a quick look back to show his annoyance. you would see the irritation subtly on eunseok’s face in the form of a furrowed eyebrow or a side eye—but each time he realized it was you he would smooth out his features and go back to looking forward. 

almost always you would grant eunseok the silence, let him focus in the tiny secluded area of the lecture hall where you two sat. occasionally when the people surrounding you two actually felt like participating in class instead of shopping on their computer you wouldn’t do it at all. but when you were feeling extra annoying and feeling extra desperate for a sliver of eunseok’s attention you would go back to tapping on the paper of your notebook. you would tap it even louder, watching the back of eunseok’s head as he shifted from side to side trying to tune the noise out. when he tilted his head to the side you knew he was in your trap and all you had to do was lean your head against your fist and sigh.

the sound of exasperation was always enough to set eunseok off—if that’s what you could even call it. his evidence of being ticked off was only turning around in his seat and looking at you the same way he did before. from the moment he turned around in his seat you could already see his annoyed face crumbling, his narrowed eyes focused on your moving pencil in an attempt to show you he wasn’t mad at you but rather what you were doing. you still continued to tap your pencil against the blank page, pretending to look at the board while all of your attention was actually on him.

you played your little games with eunseok and you played them well. you knew he had the tendency to sit in the secluded parts of lecture halls and lock himself away in his apartment playing games. you knew that his eyesight was shit and that he never talked to anyone ever, much less anyone of the opposite sex.

you wanted him so bad. 

the fact that he was completely clueless to it made you want him even more. 

you didn’t know how to deal with it anymore. you never leaned towards a specific male archetype, but the common denominator between all of them is that they were always easy to read. you had experience in men that screamed they had experience—even if that wasn’t always the case. you knew that when you were going over to their place to take notes it would end with you on your knees or them between your legs, but with eunseok, it was different. when you went over to look at his notes you actually ended up taking notes. when you went over to hang out, you would always end up on his neatly made bed with no underwear on while he played some game on his computer. 

eunseok was so painfully honest it made him unpredictable. you didn’t know if he was so patient with you due to attraction or if he was a nice person. you didn’t know if he blushed because he was picking up on your flirting or if his rosacea was flaring. you didn’t know if he stiffened when your hand brushed against his because he liked you or if you were invading his personal space.

your friends didn’t even believe eunseok was into the opposite sex. each time you would tell your them about another sexless encounter, they would only shake their heads and laugh.

“that man is gay.” giselle would say, looking at her lunch tray.

“gay as fuck.” yunjin would agree. 

but you didn’t believe it. they were never there to see eunseok respond to your wide eyes and profuse apologies with a flushed face and a quiet it’s okay. they didn’t see the way he opened doors for you or would clear his throat and avoid eye contact after you told him how good he was at his little games. you knew there was something there, and that people like eunseok just needed a little push. 

so when class was dismissing and eunseok was throwing his backpack over his shoulder your eyes followed him and you cleared your throat.

“eunseok.” you said.

instantly he turned to face you. he stopped in the middle of grabbing his jacket and you bit you looked down at you desk to stop yourself from smiling. 

“i know there’s that assignment due tonight,” you paused just to bask in his full attention. “i don’t really understand it.”

eunseok is grabbing his jacket out from the folded seat beside him as he nods his head. he grips the collar and focuses on it when he speaks.

“you can come over, i just might be—”

“playing league?” you ask.

when eunseok’s entire face goes red before nodding sheepishly, and you laugh as you start packing your own things.

by the time your computer is in your bag you have already made up your mind that you make your move tonight. he doesn’t make it obvious that he is waiting for you at the end of the rows of chairs but he moves a little slower when he sees you still packing up. you move a little faster because of it and eunseok cuts his eyes away from you to look down the classroom towards the door. 

on the days after class where you would follow eunseok back to his apartment he would always walk ahead of you. you didn’t know why he did it, forcing you to follow behind him like a lost puppy as he walked quickly across campus. eunseok would only toss looks over his shoulder towards you like he half expected you to give up and go back to your dorm instead. but you have your mind set and you follow behind him quietly all the way back to his place. eunseok lets you get in front of him as he heads up the stairs, and you watch him shuffle in the pockets of his sweats before pulling out his keys. he fumbles with them a little and almost drops them when you purposely get closer to him.

“make yourself comfortable.” eunseok closes the door behind you and kicks his shoes off. “i have some food in my fridge too.” he adds.

you silently nod while you kick off your own shoes. eunseok was so quick to leave the dorms to get his own place that he didn’t care to buy furniture. when you walked into his place in the living room there was only a loveseat and a television that sat on the floor unplugged. his kitchen didn’t have a table due to the fact that eunseok ate all of his food sitting at his computer desk. you remember bringing up how bizarre it was that eunseok only had one set of dishes.

“i don’t expect people to come over.” he always said.

each time he would only look at you confused as if you were the weird one for wanting to sit at a table to eat. but the lack of furnishing in eunseok’s apartment always gave you the excuse to go into his room and sit on his bed. so you two did your little dance that ended with eunseok sitting in his gaming chair and you sliding onto his bed. 

he casted another glance your way as his computer came to life. you started pulling things out of your backpack to pretend like you were going to do anything besides think about eunseok and making a move on him. after a beat of you only having your things out on his bed eunseok reached into his backpack and pulled out his journal. he opened it to the notes about the assignment and scooted his gaming chair over to you. he got up in his seat slightly, leaning to your body to show you his notes.

“this is what i wrote about the assignment.” you made it painfully obvious you were looking at the side of his face and not the notes that would help you with the assignment you already turned in. “let me know if you need help, okay?” he said.

eunseok turned his head and cleared his throat when he noticed you staring. he hesitated for a moment, as if he was unsure on what to completely do. but you cut him some slack and cleared your throat too before turning back to your textbook and notebook.

i will.” you said.

you got comfortable and moved to lay on your stomach while eunseok scooted back to his computer. he wasn’t sure if there was something in the air as he opened up discord and asked his friends if they were free to play. he had spent his whole life being more or less invisible, but now it seemed like he was in your sights all the time. he didn’t even think his bestfriend was in his apartment as much as you were. you were never in his living room—granted he didn’t have much to do outside of his bedroom—you opted to sit on his bed that he was forced to make every morning now. eunseok knew he had no reason to impress you, but he couldn’t stop himself from neatly making his bed every morning in the off chance you would invite yourself over after class. he had to game to distract himself from the fact that there was a dangerously pretty girl laying on his bed. he didn’t believe his eyes each time he took a glance behind to see you, and he knew his friends wouldn’t believe it either.

while eunseok cued up for a game, you let yourself come to a boiling point behind him. in any other case you would’ve felt ridiculous for trying to subtly seem as appealing as possible to someone. you laid on your stomach, you flipped over, you made as much noise as possible in an effort to get him to look at you. when you finally got up and rested on your haunches the nervousness started sinking in. embarrassment should’ve been coursing through your veins as you pushed your chest forward and practiced the sultry look in your eye and your flirtatious script over and over again. you should’ve felt pathetic at the effort you were putting forward while eunseok continued to play on his computer without a single clue. you knew you were in too deep when even the thought of him being disgusted at your advances didn’t deter you.

“eunseok.” you said it quietly, trying to pierce between the sound of his air conditioner and his fingers that were tapping on his mouse and keyboard.

when he didn’t respond, you shuffled closer to the edge of his bed.

“eunseok.” you repeated.

eunseok’s head that was locked onto the computer moved to the side as he picked up your voice. you could tell by the rapid clicking that something important was happening in the game, but you liked seeing his head take a quick peak over his shoulder to see you in his peripheral.

“hmm?” eunseok’s head moved as he followed the fight. “do you need help?” he asked.

you were perched on his bed putting yourself on display for him while he was engrossed in a game. 

“yeah.” you lightly nodded your head and brought your hands to rest on your thighs. “i need help.” you said.

when the fight was over and eunseok’s screen froze you prepared yourself. you shuffled your body one last time as eunseok started turning in his seat.

“which part are you—”

eunseok froze in every sense of the word once he got a glimpse of you. he didn’t even turn all the way around in his chair before he stopped completely. part of his body was facing his computer screen as his eyes darted to your thighs that were pressed together, then to your chest as you shuffled in place again. the excitement replaced your embarrassment as you watched eunseok try to gather himself. 

“which part are you—” he pointed to his open composition book in front of you as he readjusted himself in his gaming chair. “which part are you having trouble with?” he asked.

you couldn’t help but tilt your head to the side at him. if he wasn’t so obvious readjusting himself you would’ve thought you had this all wrong. he still made the feeble attempt to talk about your work, as if you weren’t on the completely wrong page of your textbook and you didn’t even have a pencil out. but you played it out when you realized you finally had eunseok’s attention in the way you so desperately craved. he was yours completely, evident in the way he quickly pushed his headset off his ears to rest on his neck when you parted your lips to speak. 

you pretended like you were going to start your sentence twice, just to watch his eyes widen and see him slightly lean in so he wouldn’t miss a word. eunseok turned in his seat completely when you started sliding your legs over the edge of the bed. his eyes flitted to your thighs that were pressed together before going back up to your face.

“can i just show you?” you asked.

you liked playing this game. you felt achievement at the sight of blush fanning across his cheeks and lighting his ears crimson. you had to bite your lip to hide the smile when you saw eunseok run his palms down his sweatpants after he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

“yeah.” he said quietly.

you slowly slid off of eunseok’s bed and felt the tension thicken. the journal and textbook on his bed was long forgotten as you got closer and closer to him. you focused on the lights of his headset and the low sound of people talking coming out of the headphones. eunseok focused on the newly exposed parts of your stomach as your shirt rode up your body. he focused on the soft skin of your stomach and the way you fit in your pants. a comfortable outfit you wore for class almost made him go crosseyed. when you were too close eunseok’s sweaty palms went from his sweats to gripping his armrest. he had to tilt his head up to follow you as you came closer and closer.

when you were as close as you could be, you looked down at eunseok sitting in his chair. his knuckles were white by the time you made it in front of him, and although his eyes were still fixed on your face, it seemed like he wasn’t looking at you fully. he didn’t dare to speak as his eyes darted from your nose to your eyebrow, then the spot on your neck that he always seemed to settle on. you reached out as an experiment, just to see him seize up and straighten his back. 

his gaming chair went back to accommodate his leaning weight, and you smiled. you let your hand rest on his cheek that was warm to the touch, and eunseok’s eyes got even wider. his pupils shook watching your every move, and his body started shaking like a leaf when your other hand went to his shoulder. you took the chance to lift your leg, and eunseok immediately brought his legs together to give you room. silently you clambered on his leaning gaming chair, your knees on either side of him as his hands gripped the armrest even tighter.

with eunseok frozen underneath you, you played with him some more. you innocently jostled his hair, fixing the dent in his locks caused by the headset. you tilted your head with a pout on your face, pretending not to notice the even deeper blush eunseok’s face and now neck was covered in. you brought your face even closer to his, earning a quick deep breath like he was prepping for something. instead you looked past eunseok to his computer screen. you saw the messaging app he had told you about before in passing, something used to communicate with his friends while they gamed together. you saw eunseok was in a voice call, the green rings lit up around people’s profile pictures periodically as you saw people ping eunseok in the text chat.

jinsu: we can’t end on a loss…

darkness: @eunseok HELLLLLLLLOOOOOO

haniiiii: was that a girl i heard in eunseok’s room or am i hearing things?

tonyangduck: you’re hearing things.

anton: if we don’t queue in five seconds i’m going to bed.

you drifted your hand down to eunseok’s shoulder, smoothing out the fabric of his shirt. you saw his hands loosen on the armrest to rub his palms on the leather. you imagined his hands on you instead touching you in the same way. you were already making all the moves, you decided to wait patiently for it to become too much for eunseok until he touched you. so you eyes the lines of his neck upwards until you ended on his lips. you licked yours and you watched in amusement as eunseok’s tongue quickly did the same thing.

“can i kiss you?” you asked quietly.

you swore you saw the green rings around people’s icons light up and the increased sound of someone yelling through his headset. the chat suddenly went crazy, but you were focused on eunseok’s quickly nodding head. you smiled and looked at his lips and his eyes that were like saucers before you leaned in. you kept your eyes open a beat longer just to see how eunseok would prep himself for your lips. instantly his eyes were closed and he tilted his head to the side, so desperate and ready for you. you smiled into the kiss from the confidence boost, and brought your hand to his cheek to kiss him better.

eunseok’s lips were unmoving against yours at first. you couldn’t blame him, you purposely touched your lips to his light as a feather just to see his reaction. you were shamelessly experimenting on him in an effort to drive him as crazy as he’s made you. eunseok puckered his lips and you placed a chaste kiss on his pout before pulling away slightly. you watched eunseok screw his eyes shut before they fluttered open slightly. behind his thick frames his face seemed magnified. you could see the whites of his eyes so clearly from here, and how he looked at you with some much adoration. 

you pressed forward again, this time coming so close to eunseok’s face you felt his lenses against your skin. you kept your lips unmoving against his and tilted your head to the side. when you felt one of eunseok’s hands leave his armrest to sit on the bare skin of your waist you finally started moving. your hand that rested on his cheek kept his face in place while you poked your tongue out to run it over his bottom lip. eunseok stiffened underneath you and at the same time you let your weight fully settle on him. his grip on your waist tightened when you felt his dick in his sweats press against your cunt.

just as you were driving eunseok crazy, you started losing even more of your mind. having him right where you wanted—where you needed—him for so long made your desperate. you didn’t stop kissing him as you started lightly lifting your hips to settle them back on eunseok’s. your other hand that wasn’t on his face clutched his shoulder as you started tilting your head to shove your tongue in his mouth. when you got a breathless moan from eunseok after pressing down your hips exceptionally hard you started sucking on his bottom lip and grazing them with your teeth. eunseok finally started gripping your waist with a force that matched your desperation. you opened your eyes to see him lost in you, completely unaware that his thick frames were foggy. his hand drifted down to your ass to keep you in place on his lap. you had to put a hand on his shoulder to push him away when you felt him lift his hips upwards to meet yours.

eunseok opened his eyes after taking in a deep breath of air. you watched his chest rise and fall in his white tee as he blinked rapidly. hi slips were sheen with sweat and his flushed face started becoming splotchy. you started smiling while trying to regain your breath when you noticed eunseok’s hand stayed on your ass while his other one still tightly gripped his armrest. he was completely silent, you could see his eyes searching for what to do next behind the fog. you flicked your head towards his computer screen before grinding your hips back down on his.

“you should probably get that right?” you asked.

instantly eunseok is twisting in his chair, typing something before closing out of everything and turning the monitor off. you stayed on his lap, enjoying the view of eunseok looking at his computer while you held onto him for stability. 

when he twists back in his chair facing his bed his hands don’t go back to your hips. his glasses still have fog on the lower part of the lens, and you can get over how eunseok looks for you in this current state. out of breath with his swollen lips. before you know it you reach your hand to his face and take off his glasses. you slide them on your face as you slide off his lap and onto the floor in front of him. 

instantly eunseok responds to you. he blinks his eyes rapidly to adjust to the change in his vision and he sits up a little more in his gaming chair. you keep your eyes on him, despite being able to barely see from his prescription. you imagine you look just the same as he did before with your pupils shaking behind his foggy and smudged lenses. when you’re completely on your knees in front of him eunseok reaches forward slightly and blindly shakes his head.

“you don’t have to.” he stammers 

eunseok scoots forward in his seat like he’s about to go down to the floor with you. your eyes go from the shy look on his face to his dick that jumps in his sweats with every move he makes. when you press your hands to his thighs wordlessly he stays in place. his hands ball into fists and your eyes widen at him submitting to you so fast. he already looks so grateful and already wrecked just from you being on your knees slotted between his legs—how could you not want to go further?

“i want to.” you say while your hands creep upwards to his waistband. “you have no idea.” you add.

eunseok truly had no idea. he thought at the most you were just using him for occasional help on your assignments. you seemed clueless in his presence, but he realized once you got high marks on your tests it was just a facade. ever since then, eunseok has been trying to figure out why you spent so much time with him. he never would’ve known that you wanted to kiss him and that you wanted to get down on your knees for him. he still didn’t believe it when you tugged at his waistband softly as a silent command for him to lift his hips off the gaming chair. eunseok listened to you immediately, and within seconds he felt his sweatpants pool at his ankles while his dick sprung straight up.

“oh my god.” eunseok sighed.

he leaned back fully into his gaming chair and brought his arm up to cover his eyes. he looked down from the crook in his elbow to see your blurry outline stare at his dick. he felt embarrassed as much as he felt relief when you wrapped your hand around the root of his dick. he bucked into your hand and pulsed in your grasp. he was lightheaded just from a touch and a stare.

“you’re big.” you said simply.

you still sounded amazed as you gave him simple strokes. eunseok couldn’t let go of his armrest as he felt you squeeze your hand around the tip of his dick. he didn’t know whether or not to be modest, if you wanted to hear the pitiful sounds he was holding back by biting his lip. all he could do was weakly move around in his gaming chair while he was completely at your mercy. for a moment everything else fell out. anticipation creeped over his body as he heard you shuffle forward. his computer whirred and his brain became fuzzy when he felt your lips press a kiss to his tip. eunseok’s whole body twitched. he didn’t realize what he was doing until he felt his legs press harshly against your sides, essentially caging you in.

you pulled back and pushed his glasses back up your nose. his precum made your hand glide up and down his dick, and eunseok was practically fucking your and while actively becoming weaker in front of you. but you still asked the question, speaking with a pout before looking up to his unfocused eyes.

“can i suck on your dick?” you asked

“please.” eunseok spoke immediately, his reservations crumbling as he scooted towards the edge of the bed. “if you want.” he begged.

you shuffled forward the rest of the way before taking him partially in your mouth. his tip pressed into your cheek and you could feel your skin protruding from you. you rested on hand on his shaking thigh before moving your head to take him deeper.

eunseok really will need a new glasses after this. the pair belong to you now. he will gladly go the rest of the semester—the rest of his life—without his frames if it means you’ll wear them. eunseok will use his poor vision as an excuse to come to your face as close as possible just to see his thin metal frames magnify your eyes. he will rely on his other senses, he is already getting used to it. eunseok smells your shampoo carried by the wind each time you bob your head. he hears you gagging on him and the wet sounds of your hand as you jerk off what you can’t reach. he tastes the remnants of your lip gloss and chapstick on his lips, he’s already fallen into the habit of licking his lips to taste you faintly. 

the only sense that betrays him is touch. because eunseok knows one hand is gripping the root of his dick and the other is softly pressing into his thigh, but when you gently kiss his tip again he swears he can feel you everywhere. your hand drifts to his taut stomach and the hairs stand up on the back of his neck. eunseok has to screw his eyes shut and tilt his head back to relieve the pressure. 

after you pull him from your mouth eunseok lets out a sigh that racks through his body. he feels your flushed skin against his thigh as you lay your cheek against him to recompose yourself. your hand makes up for the loss of your mouth, but eunseok selfishly wishes he was feeling your warm tongue lave his dick again. he is still a mess and still satisfied regardless, evident in the way his body shakes. he’s sensitive everywhere. he’s hyperaware of his nipple that graze his white tee every time he lets out a particularly labored breath. 

he feels you speed up your hand, and he can’t stop the noises from slipping past his lips. hisses and whines join with the wet sound of your hand on his shaft. he feels your laugh vibrate against his thigh, abnd you playfully lean forward. when your teeth graze a vein at the root of his dick he hisses and twitches. 

“sorry for laughing.” eunseok grips the armrest a little tighter hearing your hoarse voice. “you’re just too cute.” he hears you say.

eunseok tries to will himself to speak, but taking away his eyesight completely makes him focus on everything else even more. he heard the hesitancy behind your compliment, and he feels you nervously shift on your knees. he wants to reach out at pat your head, or to caress your cheek the same way you did to him but he just can’t bring himself to look. he blindly reaches out his hand, aiming for any part of you. he can feel the familiar metal rim of his—your—glasses against his middle finger and pushes them up. he can feel your cheeks raise against his leg and hears your breathy giggle again.

“thanks eunseok.” 

he lets his hand gently rest on your cheek. he can feel the tears in the corner of your eye under his index finger and the spit collecting at the corner of your mouth underneath his thumb. he feels you all over him again, a prickling sensation that starts in his stomach and spreads across his entire body.

for a moment eunseok just focuses, his eyebrows furrow as he stares at the back of his eyelids and he tries to will away the sweat that begins to bead at his hairline. he feels like a bottle of coke being shaken, on the verge of making an embarrassing mess.

“do you like when i wear your glasses?” 

eunseok’s eyes snap open at the desperation in your voice. he can practically hear your pout, he imagines the look on your face you’d always get when focusing on a problem in class. he looks down at you and even if his vision is blurred he swears he can see you clearly. he can see your face so vividly laying on his flexing thigh as you pick up the pace of your hand. he can see your teary eyes behind his thick frames and your sniffling nose. eunseok presses his hand slightly into your face as he swallows thickly.

“i like it alot.” he says, way weaker than he expected.

he sees your smile. he feels the end of your lip curling underneath his thumb.

“what else do you like?” eunseok hears your taunting tone as you tighten your grip. his back comes from the chair as he lets out another groan and you lift your head from his thigh. “i like compliments, ya know.” you say.

just when eunseok figures out something else to say you take him all the way back in your mouth, until your nose and the metal bridge of his glasses press against his stomach. he can feel you gagging around him and he almost chokes on his own words.

“i like you.” eunseok says. his hand is still on your cheek as you go up and down. his other hand digs into the armrest so hard his nails bend. “so pretty and smart. even if you act like you’re not.” he adds.

your laugh causes you to vibrate around his dick. if you didn’t preemptively have your hand pressed against his thigh eunseok would’ve bucked into your mouth again. he just shakes his head as he becomes overwhelmed. your teeth graze his length again and eunseok opens his mouth as aah aah aah slips past his lips.

when eunseok feels his tip prodding your cheek again he loses it. his balls tighten and he feels a cold sweat line his body.

“i’m close,” eunseok feels you all over his body again as he hits the back of your throat. “where can i?” he asks.

eunseok looks down and despite his terrible eyesight, he can tell you’re looking directly at him. your eyes pierce through the fog, and although you don’t answer him you show no signs of stopping. you pick up your pace, loosening everything so eunseok hits the back of your throat. he starts vibrating in his seat, his headset that was around his neck slips off and falls behind his back.

“wait a second.” eunseok stutters. 

he remembers his terrible diet lately consisting of instant ramen and energy drinks as you gag on his length again. he lifts himself up from the chair as he feels your hands massage his balls. he’s going to burst at the seams and you don’t seem to care. you don’t even notice the poor state he’s in until eunseok detaches his shaking and suddenly weak hand from the armrest to hold the other side of your face. he can feel your slack jaw in his hands, and his vision gets blurry again when you hollow out your cheeks and suck harder. your stronger hand over his keeps him from pulling you off, and your in my mouth, i don’t care if it tastes like battery acid is muffled by eunseok’s twitching dick. he can only helplessly rut into your mouth as his face scrunches up and heavy pants rattle his chest.

when eunseok releases, it’s first a prolonged groan. he thinks it’s the loudest he’s ever been his whole life when the first spurt paints the inside of your cheek. he doesn’t know if you can even taste him on your tongue, he’s convinced it slips right down your throat as you continue bobbing your head up and down. eunseok’s body becomes so loose as he continues to cum that his hand is limp against your face. the only thing that keeps him there is your hand that’s wrapped around his index and middle finger tightly. the rest of his hand useless twitches against your cheek as he slumps further and further into his gaming chair. all of his senses are kicked into overdrive, it’s so overwhelming eunseok thinks he might burst into flames with you between his legs.

when everything fizzles out, and eunseok fights through the blur in his mind and can form a thought beyond your name, you still continue to suck on his tip. he. has to regain his strength to pull your off of him, and he isn’t sure anything is real until he hears the quiet pop of you releasing him and his limp wet dick slapping his stomach. 

his head lulls to the side and he can see the blurry outline of your tongue peaking out past your lips.

“sorry.” eunseok says sheepishly.

“don’t be.” eunseok feels your hand let go of his to wipe your lips. “i liked it.” you say.

eunseok feels both of your hands press into his relaxed thighs. he hears you quietly whimper, and suddenly eunseok remembers you have been on your knees on his hardwood floor for too long. instantly he regains his strength to give you support by holding your forearms. he helps you up, and his freakishly finds satisfaction in the tiny sounds you make from your legs being in an unnatural position for a prolonged period of time.

in seconds eunseok is looking up at you again, only difference it’s harder to see you. he is also painfully aware that you are still fully dressed and seem fine while he has his pants down at his ankles and his cheeks are still burning red. eunseok is forced to see the effect you have on his clearly when your hands take your glasses off and gently put them on his face. 

he lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding when he sees you perfectly. your lips are swollen and glossy, your face shines from the blue light from his computer screen. he can’t stop himself from pulling at your forearm until you come all the way back down to him. he also can’t stop himself from bringing his other hand to your chin and bringing your face to meet his. he doesn’t pull away from you even when he runs out of breath and you have to hold onto his armrest for balance.

when you pull away eunseok watches you run a hand down his face affectionately before you kiss the tip of his nose. he tastes himself on his tongue as you grab his headset from behind his back and put it back on his ears. he ignores the light that indicates they’re still on as you turn his monitor back on. your hand pulls back when the screen lights back up. eunseok watches your eyes widen before you laugh.

“what?” he asks, still looking up to you.

“your friends are trying to talk to you, i think.” you say, still laughing.

eunseok reluctantly pulls away from you to turn in his seat. his eyes widen just like yours when he sees the recent messages.

anton: nah no way…

tonyangduck: GTFO OF VC @eunseok

jinsu: eunseok ur nasty as hell.

tarotime: what i miss?

eunseok felt his body heat up again as you reread the chat over and over again trying to hold back your laugh.

he really needed to get a new pair of glasses.

i hope you guys enjoyed! here’s my ko-fi if you wish to give a one time tip or commission me🕺

[01zfan]

wusyaname | s. es

eunseok x reader | 6.3k words

uhm inspired by that tiktok that was like eunseok is the person you see on your trip and then never see him again….made it with a little twist.

warnings: cheating, the reader is engaged (NOT to eunseok)

eunseok had seen you before. he knew even from looking at the back of your head that you were familiar—like a face he had seen everyday on his trip. 

he first saw you because he always struggled with going to sleep in places he wasn’t familiar with. he liked having the temperature set a certain way and he liked being able to smell himself on the covers. but here, the sheets were changed everyday and the thermostat automatically set itself to freezing temperatures.

eunseok thrashed in his bed the first night, trying to beat away the jet lag and the unfamiliarity of a new place so he could get a decent nights rest. eunseok turned to see sungchan sleeping on the other side of the room soundly. he thought about the itinerary his sleeping friend made, how the plan was to begin at the break of dawn and not stop until well into the night. eunseok was sure that his friend was trying to kill him. 

he looked at the time on his phone and groaned inwardly, turning to face the ceiling. he couldn’t stop thinking about the morning, how he was going to be dead to the world wandering through the streets of amsterdam with sungchan. he put his groggy mind to work to find a solution, and it wasn’t long before eunseok found out there was a convenience store nearby. when eunseok remembered the directions he moved to the search engine on his phone next, asking what the energy drink selection was like in amsterdam. 

when he started walking down to the narrow hallway that would take him outside, eunseok heard you first. he heard you yelling, muffled slightly by the closed door of the building. he paused for a moment, debating on if he should go back to his room and tough out the night and the morning. eunseok was introverted in that way, sometimes he found himself going to great lengths to avoid human interaction. but when he only heard your voice yelling he continued slowly down the hallway to assess the situation. when he got closer to the door he heard you clearly, and he saw you through the clear glass of the window sitting on the steps with your knees pulled to your chest. he saw the back of your head first, how you had it tilted and occasionally shook it. eunseok saw your hands next, how one held a cigarette in the air and the other held a phone to your ear. he smelled the fumes from your cigarette melding with the spring air when he opened the door. 

“—and you won’t fucking believe what he told me.” you said into the phone.

before you could finish your tirade, you turned to face eunseok. he was caught off guard by the confusion on your face, like you were almost amazed someone else was awake at this time. he was confused too, how you dropped all of your focus on the call to turn to him. he thought he saw your gaze soften for a moment before you went right back to the frown, turning your head to continue your conversation. 

eunseok couldn’t even offer you a shy hello or tight-lipped smile before you were back on your phone. the only thing you did to acknowledge his presence was that you lowered your voice and started blowing your smoke clouds away from the door. eunseok let no time pass before he cleared his throat and began heading down the short flight of stairs. he tried his best to look forward at the brick road, not paying attention to the way you waved your hands to convey your frustration into the phone. he saw ash from the end of your cigarette fall onto the ground, and he felt your gaze on him as you started only murmuring responses instead of yelling into the receiver.

eunseok did the same thing when he came back from the store with his energy drink and candy bar. you still sat on the steps outside the hotel only this time your phone rested beside you on the stone stairs. eunseok no longer saw you speak and he no longer saw the fire in your eyes—all he saw was a blank stare forward as you moved like a robot in front of him. you had a new cigarette now, the ash hanging heavy on the end as you brought it to your lips in a repeated motion. you moved the lighter in your hand constantly, alternating between spinning it on your fingers and squeezing it in your palm. neither of you spoke or offered eachother a second glance as he cleared the stairs to go back into the hotel.

you two had unknowingly created a routine. eunseok would go about his day being tourist with his friends but at night he would feel himself craving a run to the convenience store the same time you would be outside on the stoop smoking a cigarette. each time he would leave and see you on the phone, talking about something regarding this ever-frustrating him. eunseok had no idea who he was, all he knew was that he was the subject of all your phone calls and seemingly all your problems. eunseok concluded that he was also the reason you would end each night staring forward while mindlessly inhaling your cigarette.

the only difference now was that instead of your hands holding a cigarette they were wedged into the sand, and instead of looking forward to brick buildings eunseok saw you looking towards the water. he followed your gaze from where he stood and he couldn’t see anything but the pitch black water and foamy bubbles that came from the crashing waves. eunseok looked behind him towards the cabana. the party he assumed you were supposed to be a part of went on without you. he continued to stare at you sitting on the beach, alone in your loose pretty dress that blew in the wind. his feet dug into the sand as he considered approaching you, getting ready to turn on his heel to head back to the hotel. he felt out of place without his energy drink and candy bar and not seeing you blow out smoke clouds. when he heard you sniffle and saw your shoulders shake he couldn’t stop himself.

“you look different without a cigarette in your hand.” he called out.

eunseok got you to turn away from the black water to look at him. he could see the last bit of your tear tracks before you wiped them away. the confused look in your eyes lasted for a moment as you searched his face, trying to remember why he looked so familiar. when you recognized him eunseok saw you frown before turning back to the water.

“that’s really the first thing you’re ever gonna say to me?” you pull your hand from the sand to scratch the back of your neck. he sees the ring on your finger before you press it back into the sand. “also you scared the hell out of me.” you say.

eunseok drags his feet in the sand towards you as he apologizes. when you hear him get closer you turn towards him again, and you pull your hand from the sand to rest is on the surface. eunseok assumes you’re trying to put the wedding ring on display for him, but it doesn’t stop him as he gets closer. 

“sorry.” he apologizes again.

“all good.” eunseok sees the moonlight cast on your face as you turn again to look up at him. “you look different without a shitty candy bar and an energy drink.”

eunseok sits down in the sand next to you, stretching out his legs far. he sees you shake you head and you begin laughing.

“like seriously, who buys an energy drink that late?” you say.

eunseok puts his hands up defensively, smiling when he heard you chuckle.

“jet lag.” eunseok puts his hand on top of the sand next to yours “and my friend likes to do stuff really early in the morning.” he says.

“why aren’t you with your friend now?” you asked

eunseok shrugs his shoulder, letting his hand drift a little more towards you. he smiles again when he feels your eyes focus on his creeping hand.

“early sleeper.” eunseok looks to you, bringing your attention from his hand to his eyes. “i like to have time alone at night.” he says.

“yet you’re here talking to me?” you ask, keeping eye contact.

“i’m just sticking to our routine.” eunseok dusts off the sand on his hands just to put his down even closer to yours. “i’ve seen you every night so far.”

with your head tilted you looked eunseok up and down. you started from his blonde hair that blew in the wind down to his hand that was dangerously close to yours. you swayed from side to side, and eunseok could see a smile on your face that only got bigger the longer you looked at him.

“i’m very much engaged, you know.” you hold up your hand to eunseok’s face, making sure he has to make eye contact with the band on your ring finger. “soon to be very much married.” you say.

even saying the world felt unnatural. it stayed on the tip of your tongue a beat too long, only being pushed past your lips when you realized you had to say it.

you put up with all the problems of the trip because you heard being married was nice. you heard marriage one of the few sacred things left in life, a promise between two people. but each argument, each compromise, every mishap made you believe it wasn’t worth it anymore. you had narrowly avoided the reality of being married to such an extent you realized that was your first time ever saying it. 

with the weight of your sentence sinking in, you looked back to the sea. you let your arms rest on your knees, your hand with your ring dangling in the space between you and eunseok. he turned forward too—both of you let the sound of water crashing against water fill the silence.

“do you love him?” eunseok still faced the sea as he spoke.

“of course.” you say it without hesitation, as if that will make it anymore convincing.

“how much?” he asked.

you turned away from the dark waves, head resting on your arms. you looked at eunseok for a moment, how kissable his lips looked. he was almost like a dream in front of you as if the light ocean breeze was going to blow him away. you think about how he would look underneath the artificial light of your hotel room.

“i’m saving it for my vows.” you said smiling.

you looked back to see the party that goes on without you. bad luck followed you all day—you could even say it followed you this entire trip. you believed you could handle it, but as time went on it only got worse. situations you usually would’ve been able to approach with a level head only gave you a migraine. you were barely able to escape the situation of your sloppy drunk fiance at the cabana without going over the edge. you remembered looking into his bleary eyes that were hooded from all the alcohol. he confessed to you that everything was just for appearances, that his “love” for you was simply transactional. he told you through slurred words about his true love, how he wouldn’t stop seeing her despite the ring on his finger. you couldn’t be mad, infidelity in a loveless marriage was bound to happen. but it didn’t make the words hurt any less.

you thought nightly calls with your friend back home would make everything bearable. but there was something in the air tonight that had been building up since you landed. something weighed over you like a dark cloud—maybe it was the truth of your future setting in. maybe it was the broken heels that sat next to you in the sand. maybe it was your makeup that felt heavy like a mask on your face or your broken nails. maybe it was the cheap decorations in the cabana and the music that was mixed terribly. you don’t know what it was but suddenly you wished you brought the secret pack of cigarettes that was tucked away in your suitcase. a bad habit you picked up and planned to kick just in time for your wedding. you saw it as your last act of rebellion, a way to fight back against the appearances even if you hated the smell and didn’t have a taste for nicotine.

you looked to the stranger next to you, watching his hair blow in the salty wind. this was admittedly the closest you had ever been to someone in a long time. even before eunseok shuffled a little closer to you a quick flash of panic made your hand clench. you forgot what to do when someone was so close. you were sure that he could smell the sadness on you, your desperation for human interaction.

your shoulders almost touched, his hand less than an extended arms length away from you. maybe he could be your lifeline instead of the poisonous cigarettes in your hotel room. he could be the thing you pretend didn’t happen when you go back home and live the rest of your life. it seemed like a sign from god himself to have the only person who has seen you smoke appear before you the one time you didn’t have a cigarette wedged between your fingers. you didn’t believe in fate because it was intrinsically connected to true love, but what were the odds that the man beside you that had constantly seen you at your lowest the whole week was touching your shoulder and so close to touching your hand?

you dragged your hand through the sand, slowly like the tide that was coming in. you let your hand with your ring rest over eunseoks’. you continued looking forward, scared he was going to pull his stiff hand from underneath yours at any moment. he kept it there, even spreading his fingers so yours could fit in the gaps.

“the hotel is really close to here.” you said to the sea.

“is it now?” he turned towards the sea too while intertwining his fingers with yours. “my name is eunseok by the way.” he said.

“nice to meet you, eunseok.” he nodded to your greeting, and you leaned to the side until your shoulders touched. “do you always flirt with vulnerable women when you go on vacation?” you teased.

“do you always invite strangers back to your hotel at your engagement party?” he asks.

eunseok thinks he went too far when he sees you stand up from the sand. his smirk fades and he gets ready to apologize, but instead of walking away you start dusting the sand from your flowing dress. eunseok helps, patting away any sand he sees. you turn around and look down at him, and eunseok swears he can hear the waves crashing a little harder and the wind pulls your dress a little more. you smooth your dress out to no avail, and reach out your other hand to eunseok. he takes your hand and pulls himself up with ease, wiping off the sand harder than he did off your body.

“my heels broke.” you say, holding up the pair for proof.

eunseok crouches down and without a word motions for you to get on his back. you don’t hesitate, putting your hands on his shoulder while you leg wraps around his waist. he hoists you up and holds you there, rearranging your body until he holds you securely. your broken heels dangle from your hands as eunseok passes by the cabana to held back to the hotel. 

you hold onto eunseok’s shoulders a little tighter, scared that someone would notice you. with your cheek pressed to his back you two walk past the party. nobody notices you, not bothered to look away from their drinks or their conversations. eunseok says nothing, but you can feel him pull in a breathe. when you see your husband you turn your head, facing away from him as sand embedded into your cheek presses against eunseok’s clothed back.

eunseok carried you on his back the whole way to the hotel. your chin went to resting on his shoulder, watching your broken heels dangle in your hand like a pendulum. you listened to his steps on the brick roads not saying a word. when eunseok didn’t speak either you felt yourself wanting to hear his voice. by the time you got to the front of your hotel you would’ve answered his prying questions if it meant he’d keep talking to you. you could tell he was holding questions at the beach, probably too nervous to even ask you for your name. 

eunseok didn’t speak again until he made it inside the elevator. he adjusted his hands underneath your thigh as he looked to the buttons to each floor.

“which one?” he asked quietly.

you pointed your sandy foot to the top floor, and you could see eunseok’s lips form an “o” before pressing the button.

you got down from his back when you two exited the elevator and you looked down both sides of the hallway trying to remember which way to go. when you remembered your placement you looked back to eunseok. he was stiff, standing completely still. he looked to you confused at your sudden expression. 

before he could ask you where to go you lifted your dress and ran the same way you did when you left your party—the only difference now was that you were laughing instead of crying, and when you looked behind you someone was coming after you. eunseok closed the distance behind you fast, laughing as you both made you way down the long corridor. you were able to get far enough ahead of him that you held your keycard to the door and unlocked it, leaving it open just wide enough for a panting eunseok to enter through the crack. 

you were still catching your breath when you sat on the edge of your neatly made bed, dropping your heels to the ground beside your planted feet. the light in your entryway was still on, making the shadow of eunseok taking off his shoes project onto your wall. when the adrenaline of running wore off, you began nervously flexing your feet. eunseok was taking so long to come into your line of sight that you started feeling the individual grains of sand between your toes.

when he finally came around the corner eunseok stood still by the wall. he looked at you sitting on the edge of the bed, hands pressed into the mattress beside you. he could feel his nerves hang like static over his body when he couldn’t look you in the eye. he let his gaze wander down to the ring on your finger, focusing on the gold band and how it caught the light.

“where are you from?” he asked absentmindely.

eunseok watched you ball up your fist so your ring was hidden. his attention was brought back to your face when you shook your head.

“i don’t think it’s a good idea for me to tell you that.” you said.

even if he wanted to know more, eunseok still nodded. he didn’t have it in him to pry, he barely had it in him to stand in front of you now. all he could think about was the possibility of your husband coming in, or sungchan calling for him asking where he was. you seemed to notice, because you leaned back on the bed until only your elbows propped you up.

“he’s usually out all night.” eunseok couldn’t pull away from your eyes once he caught them. “do you want to come over here?” you said, motioning to the part of the bed beside you.

eunseok nodded, clearing the space to sit next to you on the bed. he left no space between your shoulders, coming so close you almost felt the need to shift away. he pressed the hand between your two bodies onto the mattress behind you, and used his other hand to turn your face. when you kept eye contact, eunseok looked across your face for some sort of sign. 

“you can kiss me.” you said, nodding.

eunseok closed his eyes and began leaning in, pressing his dry lips to yours.

when eunseok began moving his lips against yours you turned to the gentle tide that rise on the beach. like water you melded into his touch, so closely it felt like you were becoming one. you moved your own hand to eunseok’s face, almost gripping him in efforts to bring him closer. eunseok leaned into his hand that was behind you to go deeper into you, pushing a timid tongue into your mouth. you accepted a little too quickly, lowering your jaw so you could do the same. you had forgotten what it felt like to make out with someone so intensely—you felt like a teenager again, bringing a boy into your home and trying to do everything you could before you were busted.

with your eyes closed it was almost easy to forget about your situation. in the world you saw behind your closed eyelids you were not committing the countless moral wrongdoings. but when you opened your eyes you reluctantly remembered your current situation. the repercussions didn’t stop you from kissing eunseok with a force that matched his fervor, and it didn’t stop you from moaning into his mouth either. it only made you more desperate—you put your hand over his and slowly guided it down your body as you raised one of your legs until your foot was resting on the edge of the bed.

with the silent permission to touch more of you, eunseok was slow with it. he ignored your hand that pushed his downwards and took his time squeezing your chest. he even grabbed your arm to hold it, seeing how much he could fit in his hand. you had given up trying to get him to speed up as your hand went to his pants. eunseok didn’t try to slow your hand down even as if fumbled with the button on his shorts. eunseok lifted his hips enough for you to push the waistband of his shorts far enough for you to wrap your hand around his length.

when he got to your leg eunseok slowly started dragging his hand up to your knee. he didn’t waste the time to pull your dress up, instead going underneath the fabric to get to you as fast as possible. with your hand pumping his dick he was already getting desperate, your slow languid movements made eunseok hiss and sigh into your mouth. you worked your way up to his tip, squeezing and then repeating the motion. he pressed into your underwear, and you fisted his shirt in your free hand. eunseok did that for a moment, just rubbing you over your panties until slick started seeping through. he could feel the fabric dampening underneath the pads of your fingers, and you pulled completely away from his lips to rest your head on his shoulder. 

you refused to look at eunseok, focusing on his arm that was half gone underneath your dress. the parts of his arm that were left uncovered moved in tandem with his fingers against your heat. you could feel him find you easily, rubbing circles and occasionally reaching down your folds. you would’ve liked to last longer, to atleast have some sort of upper hand in this situation. but your fiance rarely kissed your cheek and you could hear eunseok above you sighing from your ministrations. you would’ve loved to hear him get louder, to almost beg you to speed up your hand. but your need for more made you pump eunseok’s dick a little faster and to squeeze him a little tighter. his hand that was behind you on the bed reached around your waist to pull you closer. 

“do you have a condom?” he whispered into your hair. 

you nodded and pulled away from eunseok to clamber further onto the bed. he did the same while pushing his pants and underwear all the way off as you grabbed your purse resting on the nightstand. you ruffled through your densely packed bag until you felt the familiar packet of the condom brush against your finger. you handed it to an already naked eunseok. your eyes widened as you took in the parts of his body you hadn’t seen. you scanned over his whole body in an instant, ending on the view of his hard dick resting against his lower stomach.

“sorry.” eunseok took the condom from your hand. “i’m just not sure how much time we have.” he reasoned.

you shook your head, reaching to the end of your dress to pull it over your head. 

“i understand.” you said.

when your dress was completely off, eunseok had the condom fully on. you watched his hands slowly pump his dick, and it was his turn to look at you with wide eyes. even with the lewdness of it all he still looked at you softly, head tilting to the side as he waited for you to make another move. when you reached behind your back to try and undo your bra eunseok crawled clower to you on the bed. his hands went to your body instead as he peered over your back, finding out how exactly to undo the clasp.

“lemme help.” eunseok said, hands already going to your bra straps.

you nodded against his neck as he undid it on the first try, shivering from his breath fanning your neck and your nipples that were becoming exposed to the cold air of your room. you shifted from your spot on the bed and you already felt vulnerable. you couldn’t remember the last time someone had seen you like this, your mind even drew blanks trying to remember the last time you were naked in front of your fiance. eunseok’s hands went to your shoulders, trying to soothe them enough to go down to a relaxed position. he didn’t take his eyes off of you as he cleared his throat, looking down to the pllows that were placed in the center of the bed.

“i can be on top? if that’s alright with you?” eunseok offered.

“okay.” you nodded, but motioned to the covers underneath your body. “i’m cold.” you said.

even though your body felt like it was on fire underneath eunseok’s fingertips, he nodded anyway. as you were lowering your body to become situated on the bed, eunseok gently pulled the sheets from under your body to pull them over you both.

when you were fully on the bed you adjusted to find a comfortable spot on the pillows. you spread your legs getting ready for eunseok to slot himself between them but instead of hovering over you eunseok moved to one side of you, hands going underneath the waistband of your panties. he watched you, pulling the covers down slightly as he slowly dragged your panties down your body. he kept the same gruelling speed, making your underwear catch on your skin and your knees as you lifted your legs up. when they were discarded over the edge where eunseok’s clothes were he came between your legs, and you spread them further to give him enough room. he pulled the covers up his back, and you felt the warmth from your bodies become trapped in the small space.

seeing eunseok look down at you made you forget everything. every thought, every word you could’ve said, everything you could’ve done completely left your mind as you stared up at him. for a moment the only thing you could hear were waves crashing on the beach, the sound of your hands digging into the sand as the water creeped up closer to your feet. when eunseok started lowering his head down to meet yours you swore you could feel the water lap at your feet. 

when he kissed you again, your hands went to his arm that was propped beside your head. as badly as you wanted to hold hands with a stranger, you settled for digging your fingers into his bicep, eunseok didn’t mind, your gut even told you he liked it. he pulled away from your lips to look down between your two bodies and you followed his gaze. you saw eunseok’s hard dick bobbing in the space as he inched closer to your pussy. you felt anticipation prickle as you bent your knees, spreading your legs even further. eunseok brought his body down to press against yours. you drew in a breath when you felt his tip prod at your entrance.

“tell me if it hurts and i’ll stop, okay?” eunseok says.

you bring him closer by your hands that press into your back. you keep him in the crook of your neck, hoping to save the last bit of dignity you know you’re going to lose soon. 

eunseok’s hand that was propped beside your head fists your hair, and he draws in his own breath as he slowly sinks into you. when you seize around his tip and he can’t push any deeper, he kisses the skin of your neck.

“you gotta relax.” he hisses.

you pathetically nod your head like he can see it.

“i’m trying.” you shift your hips, the change in the angle causes you and eunseok to both hiss. “i’m sorry.” you apologize. 

eunseok shakes his head against yours, kissing your clammy skin again.

“don’t apologize.” he says.

eunseok pulls himself out of you with a sigh and he moves to the side to free up a hand. you think that eunseok is getting ready to pull away completely, but you feel his hand lightly graze down your skin. you keep your eyes on his hand, even after they go underneath the tent your bodies make in the covers.

when eunseok presses a gentle hand to your clit you jump in place and pull in a tiny tense breath. he looks down too but looks to you quickly when he feels how stiff you became.

just try to breathe.” eunseok says.

his eyes stay locked on your face and you turn your head to turn and relieve the stress of him looking at you. eunseok keeps the burning gaze on your features, watching to see how you’ll react. when you nod your head his fingers go lower, and when he presses into your slit you sigh quietly. when you open your eyes you see his smile and you feel him slowly push his fingers inside of you.

“i’ll take care of you.” eunseok pulls his fingers out and pushes them back in. you can feel yourself already relaxing to take him in. “just relax.” he assures.

you nod pitifully, letting your body relax again. when eunseok speeds up his fingers you get lightheaded, and when he adds a third you start nodding your head to encourage him. eunseok is fully leaned on his side as he fucks you with his fingers, alternating between your face and underneath the covers. his eyes get wider looking at you, and his hair slightly shakes each time he moves. you get that churning in your stomach you haven’t felt at the hands of someone else in so long and you quickly clutch eunseok’s shoulder. he stops immediately, looking at you curiously while he scissors his fingers inside of you.

“i’m ready.” you whimper.

eunseok nods pulling his fingers from your heat. you can see him hesitate with his hand, he brings it dangerously close to his lips and you instinctually shake your head rapidly.

“sorry.” he chuckles.

eunseok goes back to resting on both his forearms, hovering over your body. he comes close to the same position he was in before and beings his lips to your ear. you can feel his breath fanning your already hot skin and you can feel his tip prod your entrance. eunseok and you both take a deep breath at the same time you feel him sink inside of you. even with the prep you feel yourself seizing around him the same way you did before. his wet hand grabs your side, a gentle grip to try and get you to ease up.

“fuck. just try to relax.” eunseok says quietly into your ear.

although eunseok tries to remain steady for you, the grunts and shaky breaths give him away. you can tell he is struggling to stay with you, and you begin trying to match his deep inhales in efforts to relax your body. when you both feel it working eunseok pushes in a little deeper and holds onto you a little tighter. you two repeat the process, silently falling into another routine.

when eunseok was fully inside, you both let out sighs of relief. he draws his hips back and with a grunt he pushes back in, and his hand that held your side goes to your legs to guide them around his waist.

with eunseok buried deep inside of you, kissing on the skin of your neck that hadn’t been touched in so long you felt complete. you were completely connected to the man above you, the two of you moving in complete harmony. when he pulled all the way out your hips tried to follow him, and when he held his breath you did the same. 

the moment was fleeting, gone as quickly as it came like the foam from crashing waves. but when he pulled away from the crook in your neck and pressed his forehead to yours as he pushed into you again, you couldn’t stop it.

“i love you.” you breathed.

as soon as you said it both of you froze. instantly you felt the atmosphere of the room change, eunseok’s eyes went wide as his hips stilled as your lips parted in shock. you froze the same way he did, the hands you had pressed to eunseok’s back went beside you as you squirmed underneath him.

“i’m sorry.” you apologized again.

eunseok shook his head, and his hands that were pressed into the bed beside your head reached down to grab your hands.

“it’s okay.” eunseok held your hand tighter, pressing your clasped hands in the mattress as he drew his hips back again. he kept eye contact with you this time, watching your face contort in pleasure as you took every inch of him. he dropped his head back into the crook of you neck, making sure you could feel his smile against your skin when he was completely inside of you. “save it for your vows.” he said.

eunseok had participated in one night stands before. he had done the heated makeout sessions in the corner of dark bars, and the quickies in the back of cars. if knew he was well versed in the world of intimacy and sex with strangers, so he had no idea why he felt everything with you so deeply. maybe he was more of an empath than he thought, or maybe there was something more he couldn’t quite put his finger on. maybe he would be able to talk to you about it after everything—maybe he’d find out you felt the same. the motivation to talk to you drove eunseok to put his hand underneath your thigh, bringing your leg up until your knee almost touched your chest. he hit deep inside of you, each slow thrust causing your body to move a little further up the bed. one of your hands planted onto the headboard and the other fisted the sheets. eunseok suddenly remembered time was fleeting as you seized around him again.

“i’m leaving tomorrow.” he grunted.

eunseok saw your eyes dart from where your two bodies met to find his eyes. he could see the downward shift in your eyebrows, and the pout on your lips made eunseok think you were close to crying. you nodded your head, squeezing your eyes shut when eunseok hit that spot deep inside of you again.

“that’s okay.” you said, voice whiny and high-pitched. you put your hand over eunseok’s on your leg, nodding again. “that’s okay.” you repeated.

eunseok looked at you under him, eyes bleary and red. he pressed his hand deeper into your thigh and the covers slipped past his shoulders revealing more of your body that you almost seemed to try and keep hidden. eunseok couldn’t stop himself from thinking about your life when he saw the panic flash across your face. he knew he had no right to, and he also knew all of his assumptions about you could’ve been completely untrue. but you seemed to have a life many would be envious of. there was no way you were poor, judging by the designer dresses, the expensive perfume, and the ring on your finger—at the very least your future husband was well off. you had a big family and a group of friends who traveled to your destination engagement party. you didn’t seem to have a bad life by any means, but the way you clung to eunseok made him believe there was something in your life you were lacking. it was deeper than the riches and maybe it had something to do with the fact that you were missing from your party for god knows how long and still no one has tried to contact you. eunseok didn’t know if you’d choose love, or whatever you felt for him over the comfortable life you were going to soon lead, and it wasn’t his job to, either. all he knew was that right now you were choosing him, and the sounds falling from your lips were getting louder and more desperate. so he grabbed your hand and guided it to your clit as he started thrusting into your heat at a faster pace.

“you’re close.” eunseok huffed.

your hand didn’t start rubbing revolutions on your clit, instead you used your free hand to run it along eunseok’s toned stomach, holding tight to his tricep as you nodded your head.

“so close.” you sighed.

eunseok looked down to his dick disappearing in your cunt at a faster pace. both of you were shuddering messes, you pulled at eunseok’s body to bring his chest close to yours. he obliged, pressing his sweaty body against yours as his hand tangled in your hair. he held your body in place as his thrusts turned into hard ruts. he felt your own hand pull at his scalp as you started moaning his name against his ear.

“eunseok. kiss me.” you pleaded.

eunseok pulled his head from the crook of your neck to rest his sweaty forehead against yours. he saw the fresh tear tracks wet underneath your eye, you even sniffled before craning your neck up to kiss him. he felt his emotions of his own swell behind his eyes as he closed the difference between your lips. 

it was a messy kiss, your teeth clashed and eunseok could taste the smoke and pina colada on your tongue as you settled deeper into him. eunseok’s hand pulled at your scalp, his arm next to your head keeping you in the perfect spot as he pressed deeper into your lips. the spark was undeniable, heating both of your bodies as the covers uncovered more and more of you both. neither of you could speak, only breaking this kiss when your moans filled the high ceilings of your hotel room. when eunseok had to stop moving his hips you kept going, selfishly flicking your hips upwards to prolong the feeling of extreme closeness—you didn’t know when you’d feel like this again. eunseok lets you be selfish, peppering kisses along your face even when his sensitivity from his orgasm shifted to almost pain. 

when he couldn’t take it anymore he pressed his hand to your hip bone, pushing you into the mattress and ceasing your movements. you huffed in defiance but didn’t fight back, settling for the feeling of his softening dick still inside of you.

after everything, eunseok settled his weight on top of you. even if you felt like you were being crushed, you welcomed it. the comfort of losing your breath to someone being so close to you gave you reprieve from the other suffocating things in your life. you wanted to cling to his shoulders to hold him in place when you felt him slide out of you. 

eunseok rolled to lay beside you in a huff, giving you one last kiss to the side of your cheek. both of your chests raised and lowered, you felt cold as the air conditioning unit cut on again. you felt a lone tear glide down your face and you quickly swiped it away.

“sorry.” you apologized while bringing your hand to your other eye to remove any traces of tears.

you could hear the man beside you shake his head against the sheets, trying to help ease your discomfort.

“it’s okay.” you could hear him turn on his side to face you. “it’s gonna be okay.” he assured.

the way he said it almost made you really believe it.

you turned on your side to face him. you looked deep into his eyes, trying to remember the way he looked at you. you would not see him again after today, your own packed bags lined up neatly in the corner. you didn’t know if you’d get the chance to ever feel something like this, so tender and delicate. when you pulled your hand that was tucked underneath your head to move his hair out of the way he grabbed your wrist gently, kissing the back of your hand. you smiled from the gesture, letting him kiss your hand all over. when he was done he let your hand rest on his cheek, and you stroked his skin, trying to memorize the texture underneath your fingertips. he smiled and closed his eyes for a moment, opening them with a playful glint in his eye.

“is now a good time to ask you for your name?” he laughed.

[01zfan]

miss you more | s. es

ex baby-daddy!eunseok x reader | 6.6k words

i do NAWT condone having a baby with a man you’re not married to.

contains: sex without a condom (they’re absolute messes DON’T BE LIKE THEM)

you don’t know how you ended up in front of eunseok’s place. even if you were the one behind the wheel, the one shifting the gears, and the one rolling red stop signs you don’t know how you ended up there. you looked out your driver side window to look at the house you used to call your home across the street. atleast you were in your right mind enough to not park directly in front. but you also knew this was just as bad, in a parked car with the lights off across the street like a stalker.

you knew you could’ve gone home. you could’ve put your car back in drive and come back in the morning to pick up your daughter, pretending like this never happened. but you knew yourself better than that, and you knew that the failed date you went on still weighed heavy on your shoulders. 

you turned towards your phone, hoping that something on your device would distract you. but when you opened your phone you saw your lockscreen—your happy little daughter trying to hold a pumpkin the size of her body as you and eunseok helped. you thought about how content you were that day, how you felt like you were truly a happy little family again. you even had a heart to heart with eunseok, talking about how you were too young and just starting your career when you met him. your life was barely on track by the time your daughter came and although you wouldn’t trade her for the world you both humored the idea of meeting later in life. you felt a pang in your chest as you remembered looking down to your daughter who held tightly onto eunseok’s hand while she held her tiny pumpkin in the other. 

the person you went on the date with noticed your wandering mind, it was obvious in the way he cleared his throat after you stared at the picture for a little too long. 

trying to comprehend your relationship with eunseok was difficult. when you were with him you thought about all the shortcomings in your relationship—the lack of communication, hiding your feelings, keeping things bottled up until they exploded. neither of you were able to save your relationship before it was too late, and it could be argued that you two were better apart. but when you weren’t with him, the only thing you could think about was trying to make it work.

you looked at the man sitting across from you at the dinner table and you imagined it was eunseok. maybe it was the familiarity, maybe you shouldn’t have made the mistake of seeing him before going on your date. because now the only thing you could think about was him, if he was going on dates in secret and if he was thinking of you too. you thought about your daughter, how much you wished you were with her instead of pretending the fancy food on your plate was good.

you knew the moment you started thinking about your family that the date was already over. it would be another endeavor in your long list of failures, all you could think about as you sat in your car was how you gave up a day you had with your daughter for this. you deleted your message history with the man, staring at your most recent text conversations. eunseok sat at the very top, his unread message appearing in the form of a tiny blue dot next to his picture-less icon. you clicked on the message thread, revealing a series of pictures of your daughter and little updates through the night.

eunseok: she likes strawberries alot.

eunseok: playing zelda and animal crossing on the big tv.

eunseok: she’s better than me at zelda now.

eunseok: she told me mommy is going on a date?

eunseok: i hope it goes well.

eunseok: she ate all of her food.

you don’t know why you felt guilty reading the last message. eunseok didn’t have the right to know, and you knew that. you had simply told your daughter in passing that you were going on a date night with your friends, knowing that she would repeat whatever you told her to her father. you typed your reply over and over again, trying to figure out what approach to take. 

lol i was going out with some of my friends from wo|

that’s none of your busin|

the date went we|

are you awake?

your mind came up with a million things to say, but none of them felt right. it felt like all of them were attempts at sounding casual. you threw your phone into the passenger seat beside you, and you rolled your neck to try and relieve some of the tension. you let out a sigh and turned your keys in the ignition, letting your car come to life around you.

you pulled out from the parking lot and headed down the road trying to go home. it started off with one wrong turn, your mind confused on where to go from the restaurant. when you had the chance to go back the way you came you felt something take control, and you continued heading down the same road. you took another turn, you even waited at the red light with an unexplainable energy as you tapped the steering wheel. the tension in your neck was gone too as you headed further down the road. 

you knew you didn’t have the right to act confused when you finally turned down eunseok’s road.

you let your head rest against the steering wheel when you parked across the street. each time the thought of leaving your car invaded your thoughts, you gently shook your head, feeling the worn leather of the steering wheel cover against your forehead.

“don’t do it.” you said to yourself.

you looked back at the house again, looking at the window that your daughter was sleeping in. you knew that on the other side of the house you couldn’t see, was the window to the room you used to sleep in. you started thinking about eunseok in that bed by himself, drowning in the california king that was too big even for the two of you. you started thinking about if he thought of you before going to bed everyday, if he thought about you tonight and where you were going in your pretty dress. 

“don’t do it.” you repeated.

saying it a second time was unnecessary. you said it purely for effect, trying to seem like your better senses were trying to put up a fight. you were already taking your key out of the ignition before you finished your sentence. you had taken your first step out of the car when you repeated the phrase again. you cleared the road quickly, hearing your heels click on the paved road with each step. by the time you made it to the sidewalk you had accepted your fate. you were still weary, slowly making your way across the lawn to the stoop. 

when you made it to the small set of stairs you looked to the door in front of you. the last chance you had to go back in your car before you undid all of your hard work. you knew you were being recorded by the ring camera beside the door. you could simply lie if eunseok ever brought it up. you could just say you considered coming to get your daughter before realizing how late it was. eunseok most likely wouldn’t believe you, and you would most likely lie some more trying to tell a convincing story. but your gaze went from the ring camera to the potted plant that stood tall beside you. you looked even lower to the painted rocks that circled the bottom. you let the ring camera catch you crouch down to your heels. the same hand that drove you here picked out the discolored rock that felt hollow. 

you held the rock in your hand, feeling the three engraved letters side by side. you held it away from your shadow, letting the moon illuminate the letters. you laughed to yourself for a moment before bringing your other hand to it, feeling for the split in the middle. it was too easy to slide the fake rock open, and to grab the key to the front door out of it.

you stepped through the door, turning the knob so it closed quietly behind you. you took off your heels at the door, hanging your jacket on the coat rack. you felt like an intruder, walking through the house on the balls of your feet trying to be as stealthy as possible. you lurched past your daughters toys in the living room down the hallway to eunseok’s room.

“don’t do it.” you said one more time putting your hand on the doorknob.

you pushed open the door to eunseok’s room slowly. you cursed at the creaky hinges, only letting it fully open when you saw that eunseok’s bed was empty. you didn’t hear him in the bathroom, so you pulled away from the door. you turned around, looking at the pink door of your daughter’s room. you ran your hand over the paint, remembering the day you spent painting it outside. it was the same day you painted the rocks outside. for some reason you believed eunseok would’ve thrown out the rocks you painted, or atleast replace them with new ones. but everything was the same as you left it all those years ago. 

when you silently opened the door, you saw your daughter take up a majority of the bed. her stretched limbs forced eunseok to the edge—his arm was slung over the side, and he was so close to falling that his hand touched the ground. eunseok was on his stomach and your daughter was on her back, both of their snores filled the room. for a moment pain flashed across your chest, you missed seeing this more than you thought. your own flesh and blood laid next to your shared history that was so suffocating it took your breath away. it was overwhelming and calming, as painful as it was peaceful. 

part of you wanted to stand there for the rest of the night, just watching the two sleep side by side. you were still for a moment, letting your mind replace all the bad memories with the good as you worked up the courage to get closer to eunseok. 

all of your steps towards eunseok were careful, walking on the flat part of your foot to not cause the floorboards to creak. you had your eyes trained on your sleeping daughter, making sure she didn’t open her eyes while you crouched close to eunseok’s body.

when you reached your hand in the space between your chest and eunseok’s shoulder, you hesitated. you were frozen looking at eunseok and his cheek pressed into the mattress and his mussed black hair. you hadn’t seen eunseok like this in god knows how long. after you called things off, eunseok put his stoic resolve back up. he put on a mask for you, a facade of furrowed eyebrows and emotionless stares. you had been deprived of eunseok’s softness you almost forgot it existed. now you crouched next to your ex beside the flower lamp on your daughters dresser resisting the urge to run a finger over his soft parted lips or his smooth skin. you almost didn’t want to wake eunseok up, afraid that you would once again have the gentleness taken away from you. you didn’t know you could miss the view of someone you claimed to hate so much. 

something inside of you wanted eunseok to know you saw him like this, serene in middle of the night just like when you were together. maybe he would even talk to you in the same raspy voice he always used to talk to you in. maybe if you woke him up fast enough you would be able to experience the eunseok you loved before his mind fully woke up to make him robotic towards you again. so you finished reaching across the space, gently touching his shoulder before you let your hand fully cover the area.

you shook eunseok gently at first. his body was limp underneath your hand, moving whichever way you applied force. you looked past eunseok to your daughter, who had at some point moved on her side to sleep like you. you drew in a breath, applying more pressure behind your hand trying to rouse him. finally he did something, letting out a sigh before shrugging his shoulders.

“go back to sleep baby,” eunseok swallowed and turned his head, facing away from you. “we can play zelda in the morning, i promise.” he mumbled.

even if his voice was barely audible, you still clenched your teeth in worry. your daughter was by no means a light sleeper, but all it could take is mentioning one of her favorite things to have her head shoot up in the middle of her sleep. eunseok ignored you trying to wake him up, you had to lean in close to the back of his head.

“eunseok,” you shook him a little harder “it’s me.” you whispered.

as if you yelled straight into his ear, eunseok shot up from the bed. you were spooked, almost letting out a sound when he turned to you with wide eyes.

“what are you doing here?” he sounded lost as he looked around your daughters dark room. “is something wrong?” he asked.

“no i just.” you looked over eunseok’s shoulder to look at your daughter. she was still snoring, but had turned to face her father. if she woke up now she would never go back to sleep. “i need to talk to you.” you whispered.

eunseok looked at the flower-shaped clock hanging on the wall behind you. he squinted his eyes trying to make sure he was reading the time right.

“at two in the morning?” he asked, voice still raspy.

in that moment you realized it was a mistake coming. nothing good as ever happened between you and eunseok after midnight. but you also realized it was too late to go back, and a small voice in your brain convinced you that you weren’t sleeping in your own bed tonight. so you nodded your head again as eunseok carefully move off the bed to not wake your daughter. 

eunseok motioned for you to walk toward shis room but he still led the way. he didn’t care to walk on his tiptoes or avoid the creaky parts of the floor as he rubbed his face. 

you looked back to your daughter once more before closing the door behind you. she moved to the center of the bed, taking up the little amount of space eunseok was occupying. you slowly pulled the door closed until you heard it click behind you. when you turned back into the hallway you saw eunseok past the opening in his door, looking at you through the space. he was no longer tired and he didn’t have his eyes squinted in confusion anymore. he held eye contact with you from his room, almost like he was daring you to come in. the implications made your bare feet timid in the hallway, lingering behind each creak on the floorboards as you crossed the threshold into his room. 

as if you had never been in the room before, you waited by the doorframe as eunseok closed the door shut beside you. he gave you a second to collect your thoughts, leaning against the closed door as he looked down at you. you tried matching his calm, leaning against the wall until the light switch poked your back. when eunseok crossed his arms you breathed in deeply.

“what are you doing here?” he asked.

you didn’t have an answer. all you could do was cross your arms against your chest and avoid his gaze.

“i don’t know.” you answered.

you could hear eunseok let out a dry laugh from beside you. even in the darkness of his room you could make out the framed photo of you two that sat at his work desk. he followed your gaze and cleared his throat when he saw what you were looking at.

“did you enjoy your date?” eunseok asked.

“that’s none of your concern.” you quipped.

eunseok pushed off of the door, and your eyes followed his back as he walked towards his bed.

“i’ll take that as a no.” he said quietly.

when he turned around to face you, you took a step forward.

“i’m seeing him again.” you lied.

the smug look on eunseok’s face didn’t fade away as he crossed his arms again. you saw him lean against your former side the bed, head tilted as he caught onto your lie.

“oh i’m sure.” he said.

you felt the familiar rage blossom in your chest. suddenly you felt regret, reaching behind you for the doorknob.

“this was a mistake.” you seethe.

before you can turn the doorknob, eunseok takes a step towards you. when you turn the doorknob he takes another step. he clears the space between you two, and continues coming closer until you have to look up at him. eunseok moves his hand to clasp over yours on the doorknob. the warmth of his hand coaxes you to let go of the doorknob, and he brings his other hand to hold yours. you can already feel the heat across your cheeks, and you can see the blush dust across eunseok’s face the longer he looks down at you.

you don’t know why eunseok humors you even though you’re no longer together. you don’t know why he takes his time teasing you. you came to him in the middle of the night in a tight short dress after a failed date. he could’ve taken you in the hallway or the couch in the living room, god knows you deserved it. but he was gentle with you, bringing his hand to brush underneath your chin to keep your head tilted up at him.

“you don’t know why you’re here?” eunseok asked again.

you silently shook your head, knowing he’d show you why. he looked at your lips, and eunseok pressed his leg between yours. the movement made your dress ride up. you remembered that eunseok bought you this dress when he let go of your hand to reach for the zipper. he still remembered that he had to hold the fabric straight to get the zipper to work, and he pulled it down in one smooth motion. you got up from the wall to aid him, and you didn’t protest when the dress became loose on your skin. you only continued to look up at eunseok, feeling your eyes become glassy as the fabric pooled to your feet.

“you still don’t know?” he asked quietly. 

eunseok brought his fingers to run over the trim of your bra, letting out a sigh when you tilted your head back in approval. you didn’t have to answer eunseok for him to know your response. he only laughed, teasingly bending down past your lips to kiss your shoulder.

when eunseok moved to your neck you brought your hands to his shoulder. you kept him there, letting your legs bend slightly to rest some of your weight on his leg. he was strong underneath you, the flexing muscle in his thigh made you want to grind against him. before you could do anything else, eunseok worked his kisses up to your ear then completely pulled away.

“let’s go to the bed.” he said.

you complied immediately, making your way to your old side of the bed as eunseok walked around. 

both of your stood next to the bed, staring at the other. you waited for his instruction, but eunseok stared at you waiting for your next move. it made you swallow your nerves, and you reached behind you to undo the clasp on your bra. eunseok watched you fully clothed on the other side, completely still as you moved to your underwear. eunseok watched you push your underwear past your knees, until you could step out of them. 

as you brought your arms to cross against your chest, eunseok let you watch as he pulled his shirt over his head. you looked at his toned stomach, how he ran his hand down his body before getting to the waistband of his sweats. you moved from foot to foot, trying to not make it obvious how much of a mess you were already becoming. it felt like the first time again, both of you trying to remember what your bodies looked like now. you had stretch marks like tiger stripes now, and eunseok had grown into his body. you no longer felt like the young adult you were when you first met him as eunseok pulled down his sweats to reveal his white briefs. as he reached for the waistband he motioned to the bed, silently telling you to get on first.

you pressed your hands into the foam and crawled to eunseok’s side. you sat back on your legs, perched and ready to listen. eunseok grabbed your hand that was balled up at your sides, kissing your palm after spreading out your fingers. you wanted to press your hand into his toned stomach and travel down until you could squeeze his length over the fabric of his underwear, but you let eunseok kiss every single one of your knuckles as he kept burning eye contact with you. when he let your hand fall back to the bed he reached into the top drawer of the night stand. when your mind caught quickly on you shifted on your knees.

“i’m not seeing anyone.” you said quickly.

“what about your date?” eunseok asked.

you shook your head, hoping that eunseok wouldn’t make you say it out loud. the smug smile that blossomed across his face was enough of a response.

“so no condom?” he teased.

eunseok eyed you carefully as he put the foil packet back down on his dresser. he watched you shrug your shoulders and look away, focusing on fluffing his pillows. he sits back on his haunches as he watched you get comfortable laying on your side. it’s been too long since he’s seen you like this, naked and getting ready for him. seeing the line of your body settle on his sheets makes eunseok want to tell you how much he changed. how he’s not the same twenty-year old who broke your heart by hiding his feelings. he wants to tell you that he’s a responsible adult now, and that his therapist tells him every session he’s making real progress. 

when you settle onto the mattress you turn to face him. eunseok notices how you fail to hold eye contact with him longer than a second before turning away. your hand that was rubbing up and down your body goes to fraying thread on the sheets, and your eyes dart away to focus on the wall behind eunseok.

“hurry before i change my mind.” you were anything but convincing. your words had no bite as you patiently waited for eunseok to fall into his place beside you. “you should be thanking me. god knows when’s the last time you had sex.” you said.

even if you tried to seem threatening, eunseok saw your body seize in anticipation when he shifted on the bed. he took his time, going to his back first to fully take off his underwear. he enjoyed seeing you trying to take quick peaks over your shoulder to look at his bare body and hearing your nails scratch the sheets to try and collect yourself. 

eunseok put his hand on the side of your knee when he shifted his body again. he ran his hands up slowly, his touch light as a feather to try and make bumps erupt across your skin. eunseok scooted his body closer to yours, his arm that was between his body and the mattress fell into place underneath your neck. 

the two of you went into your old routine, muscle memory of your past together in bed guided your movements. you both told yourselves your bodies were acting on their own accord. that was the excuse echoing around in both of your heads as you scooted your body back to meet eunseok’s and why he pressed a soft kiss to your shoulder blade. you gasped from the feeling, and suddenly the familiarity between you two filled the room. the closeness of your bodies was nearly blinding, you put your hand over eunseok’s that had found it’s place on your ass. 

eunseok foolishly thought that this position would protect him, that not being able to see your face would help him have emotionless sex with you. but feeling your fingers seamlessly intertwine with his made his heart pound against your back. each time he tried to slightly pull back you only followed him, chasing after the warmth of him against you. he thought fast to distract you before you could point it out, he reluctantly separated his hand from yours to lift your leg, making it come over his. the change made you lean forward to put your hand on the mattress to stabilize yourself. eunseok leaned forward, and wrapped his arm that was under you across your chest to bring you close.

“the last time i had sex?” when your leg was locked over eunseok’s, he used his fingers to swipe at your folds. you preened your ass backwards, making a sound of embarrassment at how wet you were. “it was when i came over to help you with your tv, remember?” he whispered.

eunseok let the memories flood over you as both of your bodies shivered. it was months ago, you needed help putting together and setting up the brand new television you got for christmas. you were never much of the handyman, and eunseok wanted an excuse to come over to your new place. so while she was at daycare eunseok was invited over, and just like now one thing led to another until you were on top of eunseok. he remembers trying to kiss your knees that were bruised from being pressed to the ground and you told him to go away. he also remembers after the fact you used the excuse that you were lonely due to the holiday season. but now it was summer and you were moaning for him like you always used to. when eunseok pressed his lips to the side of your face you didn’t tell him to go away, you only turned your head to give him better access.

“you said you hated me then.” eunseok said.

eunseok pushed two fingers into your heat and a satisfied smile spread across his face when your lips parted. he sees you nod your head, trying to form a coherent sentence.

“i do.” you respond.

you can barely get through your sentence without your voice pitching upwards. eunseok feels you attempt to push your hips back to meet hie fingers. 

“you still hate me?” eunseok slips in a third finger to try and change your mind. “after all these years?” he asks.

“i do.” you say, shaking your head.

eunseok talks your mixed signals as a sign he’s doing something right. maybe by the third time you come to him like this he will get you to say no, maybe even have you initiate the kiss first. he uses it as motivation to keep pumping his fingers into your heat, and bringing you closer by his hand that squeezes your chest. 

when you try wedging your hand between your bodies to find eunseok’s dick, he moves out of the way. he shakes his head in the crook of your neck. he imagines the look of frustration on your face, the one that’s seared into the back of his eyelids as he lifts your leg. you fall forward once again from the new angle and eunseok lets you. 

“fuck me please, eunseok.” you whine into the sheets. 

you use the rest of your strength to push your body back to its side and you moved eunseok’s hand down your chest. he can feel your heart jumping in its cage as you continue whining for him. eunseok feels his own heart catch in his throat when he feels your desperate hand reach down to grab his dick again. he separates his clammy chest from your back and watches you grasp at the air to try and find him.

your first touch is light as a feather, as if you’re expecting eunseok to deny another one of your touches. but he only presses his forehead to your back and draws in a breath as you hold him in your hand. after the first pump it’s eunseok who’s whining. he forgot what it was like to be touched by you to the point that he has half a mind to ask you to just jerk him off like this. maybe he’ll turn you around, just so he can see your eyes blow out with lust as he finishes over your fist. maybe he will stay in this position, moaning and leaving bruises and bites along the planes of your back and shoulders to let out his frustration. but just like always does he keeps his thoughts to himself and lets you decide what you want. when your other hand pull eunseok’s fingers out of you, he leans forward and lets his hard dick press against your ass.

both of you are so desperate your movements become rushed. eunseok ruts his dick into your fisted hand from the haste, and you start spreading his precum around his tip. you pump his length a few times, just wanting to hear the content sighs and quiet gasps as eunseok tries to hold back his moans. you continue to do it, letting the slick sounds of his precum between your hands fill the room until his sighs turn to quiet whines. 

“turn around.” eunseok kisses your shoulder, pressing his lips into your skin to muffle his words. when you say nothing and only continue pumping him he pulls his head back. “look at me.” he begs.

you ignore him, even though you both know you can hear. you both know that the position you’re in currently is too intimate for people who claim to hate eachother. you both know that eye contact is dangerous, that it will only bring back feelings you both put so much energy into denying. so eunseok lets you ignore him and plays off his pleads by lightly biting your skin. you moan from the pain that lights your body like a fire, and eunseok puts his hand over yours to guide his dick the rest of the way.

“ready?” eunseok asks.

eunseok says it just as quiet as his previous plead. when you nod and whimper out a yes he feels his heart drop. he knows it was an act of self preservation, but he wished to see your face. he was forced to settle for his imagination and your sounds when his tip prodded past your entrance, and he settled for your tightening grip on the sheets as he pushed in every inch until his hips kissed yours.

you sucked him in and kept his dick in place, fitting around him like a glove. there was no better feeling in the world, nothing tasted better than the salt from your skin that stayed on eunseok’s lips. he put his hand on your ass to spread you out enough to draw his hips back. he heard your nails drag across the mattress and he felt you grab his hand on your chest to steady yourself. he slid back in just as slow, cursing each time your walls sporadically seized around him. 

it had been too long. eunseok was actively abandoning all of his inhibitions feeling you around him. he felt himself caring less and less about not wearing a condom the louder you got.

“i’m gonna cum if you keep clenching around me like that” he grunted into your shoulder.

eunseok moved his hand on your ass to press his hand deep into your lower stomach, causing you to push your hips further back. he swore he could feel himself inside of your stomach, and the sound that ripped from your throat made him believe you felt it too. the new angle let eunseok push his hips further into you. you could no longer hold your head upright as you let it fall into the pillows to muffle your sounds. but even with your broken moans and grabby hands you held back, trying to keep some shred of your dignity.

eunseok lifted his head to try and look down at you. he could see your eyes closed from the pleasure, and the thin sheen layer of sweat that glistened across your face. the tiny beads of sweat and your supple skin caught in the moonlight. eunseok bent down to kiss your cheek, trying to entice you to turn your head again. for the second time, eunseok could tell you were ignoring him. he forgot what you were trying to protect yourself from as he felt your walls seize around him again. you were becoming even more sporadic, and your breaths were turning into quick huffs. when your hand tightened over his, eunseok used his leg to raise yours even more. his hand on your stomach found your clit quickly, rubbing circles that complimented his thrusting. you finally turned your head from the mattress, you even turned a little further to look eunseok in the eyes.

“i’m so close, seok.” you whispered.

eunseok saw you close your eyes and catch your bottom lip between your teeth, another telltale sign of you trying to focus. you dragged his hand that gripped your chest to your neck. eunseok’s eyes that were focused on your face flitted down to your neck. his eyes widened looking down at your hand pulsing over his, shocked at you trying so desperately to take the tenderness from this moment. if eunseok squeezed his hand around your neck like you wanted, it would be easy for you both to claim this was simply just a horny mistake, a borderline hate-fuck. he made that mistake the first time—with a hand around your neck he told you how much he hated you. he looked into your eyes when he said it, trying to revel in the way your eyes flashed in pain between the moments of bliss. he didn’t mean it then but he definitely didn’t mean it now—like he said before he has changed. 

so instead of pressing his fingers into the veins on the side of your neck he traveled up to your chin, turning your head so you were forced to look at him. you were shocked, eyes so wide and your face so close to his that eunseok could see himself in the reflection of your pupils. he placed a kiss right on your lips, not pulling back until he felt your lips move against his. he saw himself in your eyes again, and he sees his spit glistening on your lips. he feels himself inside of you, and he feels your warmth cover his entire being.

“i think i was made for you.” 

eunseok meant to say it quietly just for himself as a silent realization, but the way you nod makes him believe it to be true. eunseok feels you get your strength back as you push your hips backwards to meet his hard and deep thrusts.

“you still are.” you moaned.

he tells himself that you are just talking to fill the void of silence. eunseok also tells himself that you can’t bring yourself to ignore him for the third time this night when you’re looking him right in eyes. regardless, eunseok can also feel himself getting closer as you clench repeatedly around his twitching dick.

“oh my god.” you moan.

eunseok pulls your body closer when he feels you shudder against him. you start driving your hips back without rhythm, trying anything you can to keep the stimulation going. eunseok still looks down at you as you cum, and he smiles at the irony of you trying so hard to keep eye contact. you give into closing your eyes when he slips a finger into your mouth, and he can feel the vibration of your moans around his digit. 

when you start getting weaker, and settling into eunseok’s hold he pulls his hand from your clit to pull out. when you open your eyes again they’re glassy. they’re no longer half lidded as you grab eunseok’s wrist, stopping him from pulling out.

both of you look down at your hand. you look almost as shocked as eunseok, like something came over you to stop him from pulling out. eunseok takes it in stride, pushing back into you with a force that has you moaning around his finger. you turns your head even further to face him. he kisses the apple of your cheek and then your lips, smiling against your pout.

“you want another baby?” eunseok moved down from your cheek to your jaw. “you really wouldn’t be able to get rid of me then.” he whispered once he made it to your ear.

before you could say anything back, eunseok latched onto the skin right below your ear, sucking and pressing his teeth in the area below your jaw. the stimulation made your lower half sink further down onto the mattress, until you were relying fully on eunseok’s strength to keep your body up. memories flood back to eunseok, but the way he still remembers how you sound and respond to everything makes him think he never forgot in the first place. both of your bodies move simultaneously, when he pulls away from your neck you tilt your head to give him access to the other side. you preen your neck towards him, whimpering quietly when he lingers above the spot.

“oh my god.” you start shaking and eunseok feels your nails dig into his skin. “too much.” you whimper.

eunseok turns your head back around to press let his face rest against yours. you still suck around his fingers, and he can feel you turn your head to kiss whatever parts of his face you can reach. you still clamp around him, your cum adds to the lewd sounds that fill the room.

“can i cum inside?” eunseok asks.

eunseok closes his eyes and focuses on everything about you. he hold back until he feels your head nod against his.

“please.” you bring your hand behind you to run through his hair. “i miss you so much” you whimper around his fingers.

“i miss you more.” eunseok whispers.

he doesn’t hold back anymore as he empties into you. he turns to the crook of your neck, sucking harshly at your skin to relieve even more of the tension. when his hips still you take the lead, plating your hand onto the mattress to give your hips more stability. eunseok grips your ass, kneading the flesh desperately to try and ground himself. he pulls away from your skin to whimper into your ear. 

you two can no longer speak, only communicating through the hushed sounds of euphoria. eunseok brings both of his hands to wrap around you, bringing your body as close to his as possible. you can no longer push your hips back from the new angle and that’s exactly what eunseok wants. he forces you both to stay still, to feel all of it—the way his dick pulses inside of you as he cums deep inside of you. even when eunseok gives you all he has, you both stay in that position. you both settle deeper into the bed, catching your breath as your skin doesn’t break contact. 

neither of you want to be the first to speak or to force the other one to come back to reality. so you two remain silent as eunseok pulls out. you don’t say a word when eunseok turns your body around to face him, or when he pulls the covers over your sweaty bodies. he returns the favor by saying nothing when your nestle into his chest and you guide his arm to wrap around your body. 

[01zfan]

the thought of a big strong man ejaculating prematurely during a makeout sesh 😞

oh you know i had to do this for the cloudz….WALK WITH ME

with eunseok it would would early in the morning. your body draped lazily over his. your hands are pressed to his face, nearly squishing his cheeks as you keep bringing his face up to meet yours. both of you would barely be awake, just focused on kissing. eunseok’s hands eventually go to your waist, bringing your body completely over his. 

his hands move from your waist to your thighs, guiding you bring them up. your ass ends up perking up a little bit more, and you two just start going through the motions, not thinking anything of it. one moment your just swiveling your hips against eunseoks’ and kissing him, the next he’s basically panting your name into your mouth and his grip on your thighs is almost bruising. you don’t even realize what’s happening so you keep kissing him, not knowing he is cumming in his pants underneath you.

when you finally pull away eunseok’s face is sooooo red, and he’s laughing from how surreal the situation is. he blames it on the fact that he’s so tired and didn’t have his guard up and you absolutely tease him for it the next couple of days.

with sungchan it would happen at a party. you two flirting all night eventually led to you pulling him away, maybe outside or tucked away in a dark corner on top of the sofa. you two would be side by side, thighs pressing against eachother while you made out. he would be so caught up in you, how soft your lips are and how you kiss him just right. you two found the perfect rhythm so fast, and you grip his hair with just the right amount of force. 

he thought he had it all under control, but when you move your arm to the end of the sofa beside him, basically caging sungchan between you and the couch he didn’t stand a chance. having you hover over him, tilting your head to take control of your makeout session while pulling at his hair a little tighter caused his mind to short circuit. 

i think also sungchan wouldn’t say anything, he would probably try to distract you as he embarrassed himself. all of his self control would go into keeping up with your kisses, and bringing his hands to your face so you couldn’t pull away. all you knew was that when you two stopped kissing he avoided eye contact with you as he got up from his spot quickly to go to the restroom.

with anton it would be on his couch during a movie night. it had been awhile since the two of you had seen eachother, and he prepared a little movie night for the two of you to hangout again. now though, the movie long forgotten as you two were just busy sucking on eachother’s faces. you had moved from your spot on the couch to straddle anton, and his hands rested comfortable on your ass. you were no better, feeling him up and touching whatever part of his body you could get your hands on. 

i think out of the three of them anton would be the most aware of what’s going to happen. he would be taking breaks in between your kisses, murmuring “babe slow down.” while laughing shyly as you continued to kiss his moving lips. but both of you were too desperate to stop, trying to make up for lost time. so you didn’t slow down as you kissed anton fervently, and you didn’t slow down as you purposely settled your hips deeper against his.

when you moved to anton’s neck, he let his head lean back to rest on the couch. he had to focus on the ceiling to keep everything at bay, he even tried to focus on the dialogue of the movie to try and distract himself. but you started sucking on the most sensitive part of his neck, and you moved his hands from your ass to your chest. when anton felt the vibrations of your moans against his neck in between the sucking and the feeling of your teeth pressing into his skin no amount of self control or distraction could help him. 

it hit anton like a freight train, he was holding onto you with all of his might, eyes screwed shut as little ah ah ah’s slipped past his lips. you knew what was happening, grinding your hips against his to give him some friction. anton was whimpering pathetically by the time he was done, hands moving to his face as he shook his head.

“i can’t believe that just happened.”

[01zfan]

malpractice | s. es

med student!eunseok x reader | 5.6k words

everyone stay healthy our future doctors are roleplaying as physicians to fuck their roommates…this was my first roleplaying fic so anon i hope it’s to your liking!

contains: roleplaying, NO dubcon, no protection is used

eunseok and you both agreed it was a one time thing. a quick hookup, fueled by lack of human interaction and alcohol. 

the night had started normal. you shared a small break from long shadow shifts at the hospital with some of your favorite classmates. your friend group of future professionals did what anyone in your age group would do. the club was packed and the mood was high. drinks were passed around and rounds of shots were bought en masse. it was a mistake you didn’t know you were making, getting so wasted in the presence of eunseok. 

when the shots started to sting a little less the two of you started getting touchy. his hand was on the small of your back and your arm gripped his bicep. by the time the shots tasted like water you and eunseok were dry humping in a dark corner of the club. 

the music made your ribcage shake and the darkness of the club made you heady. your view of eunseok came in snatches, only visible when the lights of the club would shine on him periodically. his eyes were hooded and his movements were clumsy like yours, driven by lust but slowed by the alcohol. bodies on the dance floor bumped into the two of you, causing kisses meant for lips to land on cheeks and making you stumble into his arms. eunseok switched with you, caging you between him and a n exposed brick wall that felt rough against your back. when he looked down at you, a brief moment of sobriety hit you both. the moment of clarity was gone the second eunseok started rubbing his thumb on your bottom lip.

“let’s go back to the apartment.” eunseok said.

you nodded and followed behind him, sending a text to your friend that you and eunseok were calling it a night.

as soon as the door of your shared apartment was closed you were on top of eachother. no more moments of clarity, not even a second to think about how you two would change the dynamic of your relationship forever. instead you fucked your roommate that you told yourself you’d never fuck on couch in your communal space. you rode him until your thighs burned, then you let him return the favor by making him do all the work. you were drooling into the armrest of the couch by the time he was finished with you, only knowing his name and the feeling of his hands pressed against your body. 

you didn’t realize the gravity of the situation until you woke up the next morning. eunseok slept on the floor next to the couch with a pillow from his bed tucked underneath his head. in any other situation you would’ve teased him for sleeping on the ground, but then you remembered why. events of the night hit you the same time the hangover migraine hit, nearly knocking the breath out of you. you snuck from the couch and around eunseok’s body to close yourself in your bedroom.

since then, you had avoided eunseok completely. you didn’t sit on the couch anymore to watch television. you stay in your room now, finding ways to entertain yourself when eunseok is home. the only time you left your bed was when you heard eunseok leave the apartment or go into his room. avoiding eachother had become an unspoken acknowledgment, both of you falling into a schedule that left the communal spaces empty in shifts. your usual conversations devolved into short pleasantries. tension was like a thick fog in your apartment. both of you stayed away from the other to try and grant space. 

you knew sex with eunseok was a one time thing. so why was it that you couldn’t escape him? the memories of your night haunted you dreamscape, infiltrating the one place you had reprieve from the stress of being in eunseok’s proximity. 

the dreams started the night after. your subconscious filled in gaps your drunk mind had forgotten or glossed over. you felt eunseok’s hot breath on your neck in your sleep and his hand ghost over your neck. when you felt the experimental squeeze on your windpipe you woke up with a breathless gasp. you were drenched in sweat, looking around your room as if eunseok was in there with you.

everything only got worse after the first dream. they would start innocent, like studying with eunseok or the normal dream of you in class. the beginning would always lure you in, giving you a false sense of security. but no matter how normal or mundane the dream was it would always have eunseok in it and it would always end the same way. sometimes it would be eunseok taking you from behind on your shared couch, smacking your ass until you swore you could feel the pain in real life. sometimes it would be you on your knees, looking up to eunseok’s bobbing adam’s apple as his hand in your hair tightened. no matter what, you would always jolt yourself awake when your conscious mind realized what was happening. 

tonight was different. everything had come to a boiling point, you were dressed in your scrubs walking down the quiet ward to greet your patient. when you opened the door to the hospital room it was eunseok was on the hospital bed, whimpering about pain. you were trying to be the best nurse you knew you could be, asking him where it hurt and what his symptoms were. it was no use, the way eunseok pulled at your scrubs made that clear. you had known by now that your dreams never ended with something as simple as a diagnosis. this dream instead ended with you riding eunseok on his hospital bed while he groped every part of your body.

you no longer shot up from the bed gasping for air. when the nonsensical ridiculous dreams kept coming, you were forced to deal with it quietly. now you let your eyes open quickly to stare at whatever was in front of you as you came to. your throat was always dry now, and you had to blink to bring moisture back to your eyes. 

you blinked repeatedly trying to adjust to the darkness in your room. everything felt uncomfortable. your body was drenched in sweat, down the line of your back and underneath the covers stuffed between your legs. your clothes stuck to your sweaty body, and you could feel your underwear press to your folds each time you moved.

your clock told you it was time to go to bed, in any other case you would’ve turned around in bed and dealt with it in the morning. but the water bottle next to your bed was empty, and you needed to go to the bathroom. you considered your option, smacking your lips to try and wet your throat. when your throat still felt dry and scratchy you stretched carefully before getting up from your bed.

you nearly stumbled out of your bedroom rubbing your eyes. you didn’t want to wake yourself up too much, knowing you might struggle trying to fall asleep later. you are still out of it, making a wobbly line for the fridge. your mind was so busy thinking about your dreams that you didn’t notice eunseok sitting at the table. he took notes diligently, pausing his movements to watch you over his circular frames. you visibly tensed when you finally noticed his presence. eunseok froze the same way for a moment before going back to writing in his journal. 

you freeze in place and eunseok does the same. he waits for you to say something first, evident in the way he clears his throat.

“you’re up late.” you say.

your attempt to sound casual fails. your tone is awkward, stating the obvious as you shift on your feet. eunseok laughs quietly as he highlights something in his medical book.

“case study,” eunseok doesn’t look up from his notes. “taking longer than i thought.” he says.

he looks at his watch again before looking back at you. if you look at eunseok for too long, you start to remember details you tried to forget. it takes everything in you to turn away silently while making a beeline to your bedroom.

“what are you doing awake?” eunseok asked.

the question was rushed, falling from his lips before you could shut him out again. when you turn around you see eunseok no longer looks at his books. his highlighter and pen rest in the binding of his journal as he looks at you.

“bad dream.” you said sheepishly. 

you could see eunseok’s head tilt as he thought about something. he tapped on his book nervously, looking at you over the rim of his glasses. you stood there in between the space of your room and the kitchen foolishly, waiting for eunseok to say what was on his mind. he cleared his throat, looking to you directly.

“the walls are thin, ya know.” he said. “especially when i’m in here doing work late at night.”

that was all you needed to hear before quickly turning on your heel to walk into your room. the heat made your face feel like it was on fire when you reached for the doorknob of your bedroom.

“wait.” eunseok said behind you. 

when you looked at him you saw that he had gotten up from the table quickly. he looked to the seat on the other side of the table, the one you haven’t sat at in so long. 

“can we just talk? please?” eunseok said.

when you sat down, you found out that eunseok had heard everything. he tried taking a neutral approach, trying to save you from some of the shame. but it was unavoidable as eunseok told you he’s been hearing everything. you were nearly crying when eunseok reached an awkward hand out to pat on your shoulder. eunseok told you sincerely you didn’t have to be embarrassed, but shame still made your head hang low. eunseok didn’t stop rubbing your shoulder, but you didn’t spare a glance towards him. it wasn’t until he stopped rubbing your shoulder and cleared his throat, opening his mouth over and over again as he tried to gather what to say.

“i want to help you.” he says.

you lift your head to look at eunseok with narrowed eyes. shock has left you and was replaced with anger fueled by embarrassment. the fact that eunseok seemed to only want to throw salt on the wound made the hair rise on your neck.

“not funny eunseok.” you say.

your arms are crossed protectively as you get ready to stand up from the table. eunseok reaches towards you, a hand asking you to stop.

“i’m serious.” eunseok lets his hand rest on the table as he gathers his thoughts. “i was thinking. maybe if we did it under the guise of something else it could ease the tension.” he says.

when you realize what eunseok is hinting at you can’t stop your eyebrows from furrowing. your shocked expression mirrors eunseok, like he is also surprised he came up with such a thing.

“you mean like roleplaying?” when eunseok nods you keep talking. “like we fuck but you’re my doctor?”

“if you don’t like it. we can stop and pretend it never happened.” eunseok assures you.

you consider all your options. you think about yelling at eunseok for assuming you’d be so easy to say yes to something so ridiculous. but you also think about the dreams you’ve had, how you hhaven’t stopped thinking about eunseok since that night. if this backfired, you’ll move out and never be seen by eunseok again. you still feel a pit in your stomach at the possibility of it being awkward. you look at your roommate in his seat at the table, twiddling his thumbs as he waits for you. you’re no better, picking at your hands underneath the table.

“i feel like after…” you clear your throat and force yourself to maintain eye contact with eunseok even though your face feels like it’s on fire. “after we should have a very long conversation about what happened that night after the club.” you say matter-of-factly.

eunseok’s eyes light up and he nods his head vigorously as you stand up from the table.

“i agree completely.” he says.

eunseok still sits at the table looking up at you when you rock back and forth on your heels. every attempt you make trying to seem confident in this situation seems to fall flat. you wish you could’ve slipped into the act, a non-assuming patient that sweetly asks where to go for the examination. instead you clear your throat awkwardly and look around the space of the common area.

“my room or yours?” you ask shyly.

eunseok stands up from the table quickly, pushing in his chair slowly before walking over to you. you can see he has trouble too by the way he gestures to his room. you two are silent, you only nod before heading to eunseok’s room. you can hear him push in your chair and clothes his books, turning off the light in the common area and following behind you. before you made it through the threshold of his door, eunseok grabs your hand and holds it gently. he turns on the lamp that sits on his desk, and clears off his neatly folded pajamas that sat on his made bed with one hand. 

you stood next to eunseok’s bed and he stood beside you, your hand still in his. it was daunting, being in eunseok’s room knowing what you came in here to do. all the other times you had been in his room was to quickly look for something or peer in to ask if he wanted to order takeout. but now you were in eunseok’s room looking down at his sheets, anxiously waiting for what was going to come next.

eunseok turns to you, smile on his face as he speaks.

“should i put on my lab coat?”

with a serious voice but a smile on his face eunseok helps ease some of the tension. you laugh and shake your head, playfully hitting eunseok in his shoulder. 

eunseok squeezed your hand one last time before letting it go. you felt him come behind you, placing both of his hands gently on your elbows.

“you can lay down.” eunseok said gently.

you silently nodded your head, realizing it had started. you could feel the atmosphere change as eunseok guided you slowly to crawl on his bed. one of his hands moved to the back of your head to help you lay on the pillows gently. he was handling you slowly and carefully like glass, the complete opposite of how he held you the first time. 

eunseok stayed by your side, holding your hand as he looked down at you. you found yourself avoiding his gaze at all costs, suddenly becoming hyperaware of everything about yourself. how you were laying, how you looked from eunseok’s perspective, how tight you were holding onto his hand. you tugged on his hand to bring him down to you in an effort to level the playing field. 

when he was crouched beside the bed next to you, eunseok took in all of your features. his hand that was holding yours let go to run a slow finger on your jawline, resting on your forehead like he was checking your temperature. you held gently to his tricep, needing something to hold for comfort.

“are you comfortable?” eunseok asked.

you shake your head still anxiously picking at the sheets underneath your fingertips.

“i think. i think you need to take a closer look.” you whisper.

eunseok smiles, his hand that was on your forehead reaching down to pinch your cheek.

eunseok crawls onto the bed, slotting himself between your partially spread legs. he rests on his haunches, rubbing soothing hands up and down your calves. you focus on the tiny sound your nails make against the fabric of eunseok’s bedsheets. you can feel his eyes on you and you’re too anxious to focus your eyes in the dimly lit room to look back at him.

eunseok recognizes too much about you, the way you nervously pick at everything around you and the way you bite your lip when you’re stressed. he wants to help you, he wants to get rid of the tension that weighs down on your shoulders each time he passes by you. so eunseok does what any good doctor would do and begins his examination.

“when did the dreams start?” eunseok asks.

he’s serious, his hands reach down to your ankles to push them up the bed, forcing you to bend your legs at the knee. you try to think hard, focusing everything to get into the character of his patient. put you’re shy, too shy to look at anything but your bent knee. eunseok’s hand that comes to rest on top of your knee forces you to open your mouth.

“since that night we—i went to the club.” you stammered. 

“i see.” eunseok hums sympathetically, hand working down your knee towards your thigh, stopping where the bottom of your night shorts begin. “and what happened when you went to the club?” eunseok asks.

you clear your throat, heels digging into the mattress.

”i wont judge you.” eunseok places a chaste kiss on your knee. “what happened when you went to the club?” he asks again.

eunseok starts messing with the bottom of your shorts, going underneath the fabric to rub on your skin. his hands are soft, wedging. between your ass and the bed until you are in the palm of his hand. you squeeze your eyes shut and open them to look at the ceiling. your hand that isn’t picking at the sheets in underneath your night shirt, hand over your stomach to self-soothe.

“i had sex.” you say quietly.

eunseok hums in acknowledgment before reaching his other hand into your shorts. this hand rubs on the top of your thigh, reaching all the way up until he hits your waistband. eunseok is so close to touching you where you have been needing him the most. anticipation makes you dizzy to the point that you barely hear him.

“so the dreams started that night?” eunseok asks.

you nod your head, the words are caught in your throat when you feel eunseok bend his hand to cup your heat.

“they started that night.” you bring your hips closer to eunseok’s hand when he presses his hand against your heat. “they happen every night now.” you say.

“i see.” eunseok looks up from between your legs to try and see your face. all he can see is your head pressed into the pillows as you pinch his bedsheets between your two fingers. eunseok presses his hand against you a little more until your back arches slightly off the bed. “and what do you dream about?” he asks.

eunseok hears you hesitate for a second. you let your knees come together, almost locking eunseok’s hands in place while simultaneously keeping him away. he doesn’t want to pry, he doesn’t want to pry your legs apart to give himself better access. he waits for you to get comfortable again until you part your legs again. he’s even gentler than before, taking his hand away from your heat to hold your hand that rests on your stomach. you squeeze his hand and eunseok can hear you let out a breath. you put your hand on top of eunseok’s to slowly drag both of your hands underneath your waistband. his hand underneath your ass lifts your bottom half up slightly so he can grab at your thighs.

“my roommate.” your voice is airy, barely above a whisper as you answer eunseok’s question.

“what about your roommate?” eunseok asks.

he kneads your thighs and your sides, trying to coax anything he can out of you. eunseok wants to hear about your dreams, to see if they’re the same as his. he kisses your knee, working his way down your leg just to go right back up. from resting on his haunches eunseok can see your face clearly. he can tell his ministrations on you are relaxing, your legs wobble but they don’t close in on eachother. when eunseok grips a untouched part of your body he can see your chest raise abruptly. 

“i dream about having sex again.” when eunseok grabs the flesh at the apex of your thighs you grab a fistful of his sheets. “with him.” eunseok hums and grabs the same place. “all the time.” you ramble.

eunseok pulls both of his hands from your shorts and rubs your legs. he does it slow, trying to get you to stop looking at the ceiling to look at him. you prop yourself up on your elbows, looking at eunseok between your legs. his hands go to your waistband, hands curling underneath the elastic as he looks to you for approval.

“i’m going to take these off.” you lift your hips and eunseok begins pulling them down. “for the next part of the examination.” he says

you nod, lifting your feet off the bed when your shorts are pulled to your ankles. eunseok tosses your shorts over the bed somewhere in his room. it’s not important when you’re laid bare for eunseok. 

he’s slow at first, hands on the underside of your leg rubbing all the way down to your heat until he works his way back up to your knee again. it’s cruel, torturous almost as you squirm on his bed. you can feel all of eunseok’s fingers as he rubs your hot skin, and you can feel goosebumps prickle along your skin as anticipation builds over you.

the next time eunseok works both of his hands to your heat one of his hands splays across your stomach to hold you down softly. his other hand finds its way to your core, rubbing his fingers up and down your folds. it’s only more teasing, forcing yourself to listen to the wet sound of you on his fingertips. eunseok sweetly kisses your knee again, looking into your eyes as he does it. you bit your lip, and you fail again at maintaining eye contact when eunseok puts his finger inside of you.

you arch slightly into his hand, any attempt to go higher is stopped by eunseok’s hand on your stomach.

“try not to move during the examination.” eunseok says it playfully while he watches you squirm. 

you stop trying to swivel your hips into eunseok’s finger to follow his orders.

“okay.” you pout.

eunseok almost takes pity on you seeing how badly you want to move. he gives you another finger as consolation, and lets you scoot your ass lower on the bed to fuck yourself on his fingers. his hand on your stomach had to go to your knee to try and keep your legs apart.

“do you dream about this?” eunseok asks.

he bends his fingers as if he’s beckoning to you. your hand goes to your knee to put it over eunseok’s hand.

“yes.” you say breathlessly, nodding against the pillows.

you can see eunseok’s smirk even in his dimly lit room, and how his shirt starts jumping as he speeds his fingers up. you try to close your legs around his fingers, but his hand on your knee stops you.

“just like this?” eunseok asks.

“just like that.” you whine.

you can hear eunseok’s light laugh as he watches you get high off of him. it’s not long before you are digging your heels into the mattress and your body starts feeling hot all over. eunseok notices, he sees the way you reach behind you to press against the headboard. eunseok keeps giving it to you, moving to sit on the bed between your legs. his hand on your knee goes to your clit and starts doing revolutions.

“eunseok.” you whimper. 

eunseok looks up from your cunt to focus on your face. your eyes are wet and your legs twitch. eunseok almost bends down to kiss you, but he remembers who he’s supposed to be for you right now. so he remains stoic, lifting an eyebrow as he continues to pump his fingers into you.

“hmm?”

“i’m close.”

as soon as you utter the words, eunseok withdraws his fingers. your back is still arched off the bed and your body quickly comes down from the high that was building up. you prop yourself up on your elbows again, to see eunseok with his fingers in his mouth. he brings his hand that was rubbing revolutions on your clit to your lips, his wet hand beside your stomach as he holds himself up. you hesitate for a second before opening your mouth, letting eunseok put his fingers on your tongue.

“you taste so sweet.” eunseok looks at your bare stomach from your uplifted shirt. he puts his hand on your stomach while you continue sucking on his fingers. “so healthy.” eunseok says.

you nod and hollow your cheeks around his fingers. eunseok takes his out of your mouth and trails down your chin before desperately grabbing your clothed chest. your hand goes to his tricep, trying to encourage him to keep touching you that way. eunseok lifts up your shirt to expose more of your stomach before bending down to kiss your soft skin.

“i think i found the cure.” eunseok says between kisses. “for your problem.”

eunseok starts sucking harshly on your stomach, pulling away each time to admire his work. he blows cold air on each bruise and kisses it gently as if he’s welcoming it. you stopped trying to prop yourself on your elbows, you fully sink your body into the pillows and the mattress underneath you.

“and what’s that?” you ask breathlessly.

eunseok pulls away from your stomach, looking up at you from between your legs. his smile is wicked and you already know what he’s going to say. 

“as a professional in the medical field, i just think you need to get fucked again.” eunseok puts his fingers back inside of you, earning a moan. “don’t you agree?” he asks.

“i agree.”

eunseok takes his hands away from your body and lifts his shirt over his head with a single hand. you do the same but fumble with the end of your shirt, pulling it off your head in a rush. while eunseok works on his belt you take off your bra and then help him pull off his jeans the rest of the way. all of your clothes are thrown somewhere random in eunseok’s room, immediately once they are out of sight they are out of mind. you only care about eunseok’s dick that bobs in the space of his room and his hands that go back to your body.

he walks on his knees to slot himself in between your legs again, lowering his body until his dick rests on your stomach. it is hard and heavy against your body, you can feel and see the leaking precum come from his tip. 

“who should it be?” eunseok grabs your ankles and puts them on either side of his head. “should i call someone?” eunseok asks playfully.

he revels in the way you pathetically shake your head and how your hand reaches between your legs to grab his dick. you desperately guide him to your entrance and wiggle down the bed so you’re closer to him.

“please help me.” you are desperate, already arching off the bed when eunseok slaps your folds with his dick. “i need it.” you whimper.

eunseok splays his hand across your stomach again, and he uses his other hand to guide himself into your cunt.

“who am i to deny a patient?” eunseok says, letting his tip poke at your entrance.

when eunseok slowly sinks in, both of you are silent. you could hear the clock ticking in eunseok’s room as both of your mouths opened in silent euphoria. a week felt like a century, and being sober made you feel everything. the way your walls relaxed as eunseok slowly pushed himself all the way in, the feeling of his hips kissing yours. you almost think you’re becoming drunk off him when he pulls out slowly just to go right back in even slower. eunseok kisses your calf and wraps his hand around your legs to keep them in place.

“i dreamt about this too.” eunseok murmurs.

he watches your chest move in tandem with his thrusts, how you hold one of your breasts in your hand. he wishes he had another hand, to give the other side of your chest attention too. eunseok instead grabs your stomach, enjoying the sight of your skin peaking through the gaps in his fingers.

“feel better yet?” eunseok asks from above you. 

he knows he should be nicer, but from his point of view he can’t stop himself from becoming cocky. he sees the furrow in your eyebrows and the way you bite you lip trying so hard to be quiet while you take all of him. eunseok teases you by drawing his hips back and thrusting into you, making you put your hand on the headboard again to steady yourself. you can open your eyes only for a second before closing them. 

“come closer.” you whine. 

when you pull at eunseok’s hand on your stomach he obeys immediately. he leans forward until the backs of your knees are on his shoulders. even from the stretch you still preen your neck to kiss eunseok. your soft lips push against his and your tongue goes into his mouth with fervor. you suck on his bottom lip and eunseok lets you. the same way he admired the marks on your stomach you admire looking at his swollen and glossy lips. eunseok presses his sweaty forehead against yours and stays there, trying to see all of the faces you make for him.

you run your hands through his hair and eunseok wonders if you can see the blush across his face in this dark room. he’s focused on hitting you as deep as he can, with slow thrusts that cause you to pause and whine in his face. eunseok brings his body closer to you, letting one of your legs fall from his shoulder so he can press his chest against yours.

“faster please.” you whisper against eunseok’s lips.

he nods and brings his hips back to thrust into you at a faster pace. one of your hands holds eunseok’s that’s planted in the mattress and the other holds your thigh close to your body. eunseok is able to pick up the speed fast, and he’s unrelenting even when your breathing starts to becoming hurried and your body starts squirming underneath him.

“where do you want it?” eunseok grunts. 

he can’t bring himself to be cocky anymore. he has to focus all of his energy in his hips and waiting fro your instruction on where he can cum.

your ankle digs into his back and you lift your hips to give him a new angle. 

“inside.” you laugh against eunseok’s lips at how ridiculous you sound. “that’s how i get cured, right?” you ask.

eunseok is the one reduced to nods now. he nods against your forehead before bringing you in for a sloppy kiss. his tongue runs across your lips before ever going into your mouth, and he presses his tongue against yours to taste you. his hips rut against yours, the sound of your skin slapping against eachother fills the room. eunseok moans into your mouth and you do the same, digging your ankle deeper into his back as he hits that same spot deep inside of you again and again.

“fuck.” eunseok pulls away from your lips. he can feel himself twitching around you, and he can feel your walls close around his dick to milk him. he continues to thrust into you slower and harder now, determined to give you every last drop. “take it.” he groans.

“give it to me.” you whimper underneath him. 

your back arches as far as you can into eunseok’s chest as your legs stiffen. your hips move on their own accord, matching eunseok’s stuttering hips. you two continue to get higher and higher of eachother, until eunseok lets your other leg fall from your shoulder to pull you close. he lifts your body from the bed and pulls you onto his lap, fucking up into you as you helplessly wrap your arms around him to stabilize yourself. you are a moaning mess now, no amount of pressure you apply to your lips could keep you from holding back. eunseok is the same, grunting and moaning into your ear as his hand grips your shoulder.

he keeps you in his lap for awhile, letting his softening dick twitch inside of you while your walls still pulse. when he guides you back to the bed he’s gentle, laying his body on top of yours to still be close to you.

eunseok pulls out of you and falls on the bed next to you. the both of you look at the ceiling, coming down from your shared high. it’s eunseok who turns first to kiss your cheek, but you’re the one that grabs his hand to bring him closer to you. you can feel yourself drifting off to sleep, maybe the best sleep you’ve had in weeks. eunseok doesn’t try to keep you awake to talk, instead he pulls you close and lets his slowing heartbeat lull you to sleep.

[01zfan]

keyring | s. es

ex!bf eunseok x reader | 4k words

i had a little too much fun writing this.

contains: no warnings

eunseok was the one that pursued you, he wasn’t ashamed to admit that. he was actually proud of it, bringing it up to you whenever he got the chance.

your relationship began in the spring, when it was impossible to not be outside. with the relaxing time that came with the season, neither of you had any obligations. it was perfect, the two of you were able to spend all of your time together. looking back now the two of you were stupid in love, recklessly living day by day instead of looking to the future. 

when the next winter came, the effort your relationship needed wasn’t there. your warm apartment where love was in full bloom became cold and desolate. the same place where you two spent all your time together was spent apart, or wishing you were alone. when you two sat on the couch, your thighs were no longer pressed against eachother, the shows you watched together would always end with someone on their phone, and when you both went to bed you no longer cuddled until both of you fell asleep. you two laid on opposite sides of the bed, only muttering a quick goodnight before turning out the lights

you watched the petals fell from the flower that sat in the middle of your table. the only flower left alive in the bouquet from your last date was withering. both of you had forgotten to take care of the flower for so long it was dying right in front the two of you. you looked past it to see eunseok on the other side. his eyes were focused on his plate, not looking up even when he asked if the food was good. you had lost your appetite, poking your food from one side to the other

the blame went both ways, you could admit that. when eunseok would come home from work you found yourself wanting to be alone. sometimes you found him to be overbearing, and you found yourself thinking about when you were single. you thought your way of taking responsibility was confessing to eunseok after dinner. before he could go into the bedroom to retire for the night you grabbed his hands gently, pulling him to the couch to sit beside you. he had a look in his eyes you couldn’t face, so you looked at your hands in your lap while you told the truth.

“the spark is gone.” you reasoned.

eunseok said nothing, completely stoic as you poured your heart out. you talked about the way you two never were together anymore, how you both had grown so distant. 

“i don’t want this to end either.” you said.

it was the truth and eunseok knew it too. there was a part of him that wanted to ask how to get you to change your mind, but he knew it was pointless. all eunseok could do was apologize and offer to give you your space. he squeezed your hand tightly for the final time, kissing the back of your hand like he always used to do. 

something about that made it hurt more, how he almost seemed blindsided by the breakup. you expected eunseok to fight with you, to let you know the ways in which you failed as his girlfriend. but he said nothing, only bringing you in for a hug while you cried into his chest for the next hour. 

nothing about that night was easy. your heart broke again seeing eunseok pack an overnight bag to go stay with his friend. he passed by you on the couch, muttering quietly that he would be back for more of his things in the morning. you only nodded your head, teary eyes locked onto your television to keep yourself from bawling or begging him to stay. 

you didn’t break down until you head the door close, and you didn’t stop crying until you fell asleep on the bed you used to share with eunseok. 

when you woke up in the middle of the night your eyes still felt puffy and your nose was running. before everything set in it was peaceful for a moment, you even turned to eunseok’s side of the bed to look for him. when you remembered it hit you like a freight train, knocking the air from your lungs. your heart was breaking all over again. you held onto his sweater tightly as you wiped your tears.

you didn’t know that eunseok still had his keys. you thought he had left the key on your desk while he was leaving to tell you he was never coming back. 

eunseok himself planned to do it, he wanted to leave his key silently to eliminate the temptation to come back. but he was a weak man when it came to you. he took the key with him, telling himself he needed it to get the rest of his things quietly the next day. 

the temptation of going back called to him when his keys dangled from the ignition of his car. each red light eunseok hit he had to fight the urge to do a u-turn in the empty streets and make his way back. if his friend wasn’t waiting for him outside he was sure he’d do it.

when he made it to sungchan’s house he was brought in for a big hug, being told repeatedly everything would be alright. eunseok only nodded in acknowledgment, telling his friend absentminded thank you’s. what eunseok’s attention truly was on were the keys to your apartment stuffed in his jacket pocket. he was too busy running his fingers over the cuts and bitting of your apartment key to respond to his friend properly. all of his focus went to feeling the key llike he was trying to memorize the ridges. 

when sungchan was asleep eunseok was still awake, staring at the ceiling and moving constantly on his friends couch in an effort to clear his mind. eunseok couldn’t help but wonder what you were doing. if you were sleeping in the bed too big for just you or if you were cramped on the small couch like he was. he thought about if you were crying or holding your tears in like him, if you had already gone through your camera roll to delete the memories you two had made together.

the more eunseok thought the more restless he became. he turned to look at where his keyring rested on the coffee table. the gentle calling started to sound like yelling, only quieting down after eunseok got up from the couch. before he knew it he was tiptoeing through sungchan’s apartment, heading for the front door.

eunseok made it back to the apartment too fast. it was too fast for him to try and reason with himself, or to talk himself out of going back to you. clarity didn’t come to him as he parked his car next to yours, or when he cleared the steps to your walk-up two at a time. clarity only came to him when he stood in front of your door, one hand on the doorknob ready to turn. finally, the small amount of self control he had left stopped him from pushing the door open. 

eunseok looked down the hallway of your apartment building. he could leave and come back in the morning, pretending like he didn’t drive all the way here for unknown reasons. he might have been able to even ask a favor from his friend, so he wouldn’t have to see your face ever again. 

before eunseok could walk away, he heard the tiny sound of you sniffling on the other side of the thin walls. he turned the door without hesitation, not bothering to kick off his shoes while he made his way through your tiny apartment. he found out that having a key was unnecessary anyway, your door was still unlocked from when he left. 

your crying ceased when he closed the door behind him, and when eunseok came into your bedroom he saw you sitting up on the mattress, alert and wide eyed.

“what are you doing here?” you asked.

you stared at him like he was a ghost. eunseok felt his blood go cold, almost having to lean against the door to keep himself upright. he was no longer the person you looked to with love or the playful glint in your eye. all he saw was confusion as you wiped your tears with your index finger.

“you didn’t lock your door.” eunseok said.

eunseok stood in the doorway. he wasn’t too sure why he was here either. all he knew was that you laid on the bed on your side, leaving eunseok’s side completely empty. the wound from the breakup was so fresh on eunseok’s heart that nothing had set in yet. you seemed to be the same, muscle memory almost caused you to pat eunseok’s side of the bed to welcome him.

eunseok came onto the bed from his side, coming close to you. he stayed at the side for a moment, looking down at you looking up at him. the scared look in your eyes changed, pushing him to test the waters further. he leaned part of his body on the bed to come close to you, trying to see if you would back away or shake your head to tell him no. but you let him get close, so close that his breath fanned your flushed face and partially dried your tears. when eunseok was closer he could see the fresh tear tracks on your cheeks and your eyelashes clumping together from crying. he couldn’t help his eyes from softening or his thumbs that went to the bottom of your face. he was the doting boyfriend he used to be in an instant, wiping away the remaining tears with his thumb. you closed your eyes and settled in, not holding back a small sigh of relief as you melted into his hands.

“did you forget something?” you asked once you opened your eyes.

eunseok wanted to curse himself for not touching you like this sooner. for not being the boyfriend he knew you needed. you were so soft inside and out, everything about you just melted into his hands. 

eunseok knew you needed someone better, someone who could give you what you needed. but when he thought about someone else touching you like this in the middle of the night his body had a visceral reaction. he couldn’t stop the jealousy from bubbling in his chest at the thought of your tears being from pleasure another person was bringing you instead of the pain that eunseok caused. sadness was in the downward cast of your eyebrows and your pout, something eunseok couldn’t smooth out with the pads of his fingers. most of the pain was from your eyes, they were misty and stared back at eunseok going right through him. when eunseok didn’t answer your question, he saw your big eyes become hopeful.

“what are you doing here?” you asked again.

eunseok didn’t know. he was still trying to figure out the answer when he pulled you in by your face and pressed his lips against yours. eunseok partially expected you to freeze, or to pull away. but your hands went behind his back instantly to pull closer by fistfuls of his shirt. 

when eunseok felt your mouth open for him, he kissed you back with a passion you were sure he had forgotten. you didn’t know that he was capable of still kissing you this way, so powerful it pushed you head backwards as you tried to match him. one of your hands went from eunseok’s back to behind you in effort to balance yourself. when he felt your hand leave his body, he wasted no time grabbing your arm. he pulled it towards him, forcing you to lean into his body for support.

eunseok guided you slowly to the bed, kicking off his shoes quickly to get on the bed fully. he straddled your legs first, continuing to kiss you while hovering over your body. 

eunseok didn’t stop kissing you on your side of the bed that you two used to share. his hand that didn’t hold your arm helped your face keep balance as he slipped his tongue into your mouth. you tried to prove you didn’t need him by preening into his lips, ignoring the uncomfortable way you had to lift your head from the mattress. when your other hand tried to fist his hair to bring him down to you, eunseok grabbed it to press both your hands into the mattress above your head. 

eunseok pulled away from your lips to look down at you. his brown eyes watched your chest rise and fall quickly as you tried to catch your breath. you were both quiet, trying to comprehend what situation you had gotten yourselves into. you tried to keep your cool, only breathing through your nose as you tried to figure out what to say. for once, eunseok spoke for the both of you.

“i can’t say bye to you.” eunseok murmured.

his free hand traced from your chin to your neck, trailing down until he went back down to suck harshly at your skin. you whined and fought against his hands, wishing you could touch him.

“so don’t.” you said breathlessly.

eunseok let his teeth bite down on the skin of your neck harder than you were used to, but you didn’t pull away. you leaned into his teeth more, taking the slight pain as punishment for how you treated him. eunseok noticed you didn’t shy away, pulling from your neck to blow cold air on the new mark.

“taking me back already?” eunseok asked.

you shook your head, spreading your legs until they pushed at eunseok’s inner thighs. he got the hint immediately, to slot himself between your legs. you looked down at the pants both of you were still wearing, lifting your hips up slightly. eunseok dragged his hand down your clothed chest and you sucked in a tiny breath. both of you watched silently as eunseok stuffed his hand down the front of your shorts. he teased you again, kissing your jaw as he cupped your heat. he could feel your warmth in waves and how wet you were on his palms. eunseok looked up from your jaw to see your head press into the pillows as he slid two fingers in with ease. you gasped and then craned your head to look down at him. your eyes still looked wet as you spoke.

“we shouldn’t be together.” eunseok hummed in agreement, still pumping his two fingers in and out of you. when he bent them at the knuckle you closed your eyes and looked up to the ceiling. “i still need you though.” you whimpered.

eunseok hummed in agreement again. he pulled his fingers from your shorts and stuffed them into your mouth, making you taste yourself. he watched you with satisfaction as you cleaned his fingers up without hesitation, tongue peaking past your lips as you tasted it all.

he kissed your forehead when he took his fingers out of your mouth before reaching down to your waistband. he pulled them down your to your thighs, letting you frantically kick them off the rest of the way while he moved his body to the side.

he fumbled with his belt as you kicked your shorts off your ankle to the ground. when eunseok wasn’t moving fast enough with just one hand you whined and pushed against his grip on your hands again.

“let me help you.” you whined.

eunseok ignored you, finally unbuttoning his pants only a moment later. anticipation built all over you when eunseok didn’t bother pulling his pants down all the way. he pulled his briefs and jeans down at the same time, barely making it past his knees while he scooted closer to you. 

before you could say anything else he wrapped his hand around your thigh to pull your body closer to his. it was effortless for eunseok and it caught you off guard while you travelled down the bed. eunseok let his dick slap against your stomach heavy and angry while precum leaked onto the fabric. you looked up to eunseok after feeling the weight and how he twitched. your hand that would usually grab eunseok's length and guide it to your entrance was restrained, forcing eunseok to take matters into his own hands. he grabbed his dick and pumped his length before quickly sliding it down your pussy until he could feel your hole.

he looked up from between your two bodies to look you in the eyes. they were large and looked at you with care, so different from his frantic movements earlier.

“ready?” eunseok asked breathlessly.

he put the tip of his finger inside of you to feel your walls flutter around him in anticipation. you nodded your head pitifully, wishing you could use your hands to guide him in yourself.

“please.” you begged.

eunseok only guided his length a little further in before he let go, letting himself slide in the rest of the way. you let out a cry, it had been too long since you felt eunseok inside of you. intimacy in your relationship had been absent in your relationship for so long it felt like the first time again. you could feel all of eunseok as he slowly slid in, and your hands grasped for nothing as he bottomed out.

eunseok moaned looking down between your two bodies before he looked up to his hand that held yours against the mattress. he smiled at you in his hold, pressing your hands further into the bed for emphasis. his moans turned into a grunt of satisfaction when you fluttered around him again. he pulled out to thrust in hard and fast, hitting that spot that had you turning your head to stifle moans into your arm.

“you still need me?” eunseok huffed.

his effort to sound mad was undermined by the struggle in his voice. it had been too long for him since he had felt the way he fit perfectly inside of you. eunseok felt lightheaded when you clamped around him tighter at his teasing and how you pitifully nodded your head.

eunseok guided one of your legs over his shoulder while your other leg hopelessly tried to find stability. when you tried to bend your knee to dig your heel into the mattress eunseok hit a little deeper, causing your foot to slip on the soft sheets. when you tried to wrap your leg around his waist to lock him in place he only shook his head, not letting you take charge of the situation at all. it was the most petty eunseok has ever been, denying you any control. he always went with the flow in bed, not focused on who was in charge as long as you both felt good. but tonight eunseok wanted to show you what true effort was and how much pleasure he could bring you if you let him do everything.

it was hot and stuffy in the space between the two of you. neither of you spoke anymore, the weight of the previous day keeping you both silent. the way you talked was through whimpers and fighting against his grip, and eunseok spoke to you by leaving fresh marks on your exposed skin. both of you huffed in air, chests rising so high they pressed together. 

eunseok’s hand had moved to press your thigh closer to your chest. you wanted nothing more than for eunseok to bring you in for a hug and to tell you everything was going to be okay like he always did when you came. but you knew you didn’t deserve that anymore, and it wasn’t eunseok’s job to validate you anymore. maybe it was best to be in this situation with him, where he was just someone you used to know who came around every now and then to fuck you.

you started arching your back off the bed, desperate to have eunseok come down to you. he didn’t have to hold you, but you just needed his body pressed against yours. he smothered your senses when he came down to you everything was all about him. the way he still had your hands in a vice grip above your head, the way he still smelled like you, how you could feel his sweaty forehead press against yours. when you opened your eyes to see him looking down at you, it became too much. you dug your heel into his back to make him fall into you more, and started lifting your hips to fuck yourself on his dick. eunseok moaned before biting his lip, as if he was trying to hold back how good you were making him feel. his hand pressed into your hip to hold you in place but you shook your head and won in a battle of strength against his hand. he was still weak for you, his facade crumbling as he saw your orgasm take over. in the middle of your haze he pressed his lips to your sweaty forehead quickly before pushing his pants a little further down his legs.

eunseok came after you did. he let your walls spasm around his dick erratically as your hands continued to fight against his grip. you had folded your hands over eunseok’s to dig your nails into the back of his hand, as some sort of consolation for not being able to move how you wanted. but eunseok knew you loved it because it took effort for him to hold your hands above your head while simultaneously fucking you senseless. maybe eunseok didn’t have the effort you needed romantically in a relationship, but he would make it his mission to give you everything he had in him physically.

eunseok only let himself go after the look in your eyes focused to look at him softly. it was your way of silently begging for him to finish inside, something eunseok wasn’t entirely sure he had the right to do anymore. but when you stopped digging your nails into his hand and you mouthed please against his lips, eunseok knew he couldn’t control himself. any thoughts he had to pull out and cum on your stomach were discarded when he twitched inside of you for the final time.

he let out a groan and you mirrored it, whimpering as eunseok stilled inside of you. he let go of your hands to interlace his fingers with yours the way he always did when he came. if it was too intimate you didn’t stop it, using your other hand to bring him in for another kiss. this time it was you kissing eunseok passionately, kissing him through his groans that had turned to whining from overstimulation. you had almost forgotten everything from the day before, how you two were technically not together anymore. the low hit you after the high, and when eunseok went to the crook of your neck to sniffle you felt yourself holding back more tears of your own. 

sniffles were coming from the crook of your neck for a while. usually when eunseok was finished he would normally stay inside of you, peppering your face in kissing and telling you how perfect you were. he would be cheesy while letting his full body weight rest on you playfully acting oblivious to the way he was crushing you. but now he let go of your hand a little too quickly and pulled out even faster. he moved away from your side of the bed to the side that was formerly his. the speed that eunseok moved away left you shivering. the cold in your room and on your skin was complete opposite of the heat inside of you that started seeping onto your bedsheets. 

in the aftermath you noticed the haste. eunseok’s pants were at his ankles as he pulled them up, and the and both of you still had your shirts on. he didn’t look over at you while he bent over to put his shoes on forcefully.

everything was happening to fast, you felt your heart begin to sink at the thought of eunseok leaving you alone for the second time in the past twenty-four hours. 

before he could grab his keys from the edge of the bed you moved first, snatching his keyring in your hand. eunseok looked to you surprised, the post sex flush on his cheeks obvious even in the dark. your boldness had turned to desperation, and you hoped you were still the girl eunseok could never say no to.

“can you stay here for the night? just one night?” you asked quickly.

eunseok sighed and ran his hands through his hair. he knew sungchan would wake up in the morning looking for his friend. maybe sungchan already knew where his friend would be.

“we are just friends.” you added quickly, as if either of you would believe it.

eunseok scoffed and ran his hands through his hair again. his keyring reflected the moonlight in your hand, and he recognized the house key as the one you reached for. he didn’t need his keys to call to him again as he settled back into the bed, kicking off his shoes slower this time.

“just friends.” eunseok agreed.

for the first time in a long time, eunseok saw a smile on your face. it was small and pitiful, but it was a smile nonetheless as you came closer to him. eunseok laid both of you down for the second time that night, cuddling you close underneath his chin as you fell asleep with his keyring clutched in your hands.