#are we ready contestants?

[jedi-starbird]

When I look at my blorbos I am not a scientist trying to study them in a lab but Sam Reich on the set of Gamechanger.

[marciliedonato]

ukraine is hosting eurovision (in the uk) and if there’s no verka in the finale me and the girlies (gn) will have no choice but to riot.....mark my words there WILL be bloodshed.... 😐 😐 😤 🔫

[torchickentacos]

.

[dalkyeom]

cries I haven’t posted in so long, I dreamt someone shaded me on how I draw Shua and accidentally tagged me while I was in the middle of playing a weird variation of stardew valley, wherein an alien ship crash landed and mutated the animals.

[targarrus]

my favorite entries from the second semi :)

[shikai-the-storyteller]

Just rewatched Promare again for the first time in years and it is still so deeply soothing and cathartic for my soul :')

[caffeinewitchcraft]

AITA for telling my boyfriend’s coworkers that he’s lying about his body count?

I (35f) have been dating my boyfriend (32m) for four years. It’s honestly been the best relationship until last Friday when it all went down. I feel like I’m in the right, but now I’m wondering if I overstepped.

For context, my boyfriend has been a professional Slasher for about eight months now. He’s always really admired Cryptids, Monsters, and Nightmares so when his application was finally accepted, he was over the moon even if he was starting in a lower position than he initially applied for.

At his company, being a Slasher requires a lot of travel which we knew when he accepted the position. The end goal is for him to get a promotion to at least regional Nightmare (he wants Cryptid, but that position doesn’t have a lot of turnover) but to get that he needs to be in role for at least 12 months OR meet his goals for three months in a row. Once he promotes, we plan to relocate to his new region and “start talking about our future.”

(Side note: no this isn’t about him not popping the question yet. We are both in agreement that marriage comes after financial stability. I run a small business doing scare consults and, while it’s been growing, I wouldn’t call it stable yet. So neither of us are ready.)

I told him it’s completely normal for it to take a whole year before he’s ready to promote and he really should focus on adjusting to the company before thinking about next steps. I used to work for a competitor (I’ve been retired for five years now) and I know it can be hard to go from only taking the occasional human life to having to take over half a dozen a week. It’s not a light workload, no matter how easy it looks in the movies. One of my best friends Slashes part-time and she still only averages about five lives a week despite having done it for years. Especially these days, it can be really hard to meet quota. Humans are getting smarter, no matter what the Council wants us to think.

Anyway, boyfriend didn’t do as well as he thought he would in his first couple months. Totally understandable, of course, which I told him. I suggested he ask his boss if he could be put on a couple team assignments or even a duo until he got the hang of it. That was our first real fight. He thought I was doubting his ability to kill. He brought up how I told him it would take over a year to promote and how I said that this job wasn’t for everyone (His first assignment ended with a 0% kill rate, but that’s a different story). He said it felt like I didn’t believe in him and he said that if that was the case then maybe we shouldn’t be thinking about marriage so soon.

It got pretty messy after that. I felt like he was forgetting that I’d worked in the same field and, arguably, had a lot more experience (not to brag, but I averaged a 98% kill rate). Also, four years is NOT too soon to talk about marriage. He said I didn’t understand how he needed to focus on his career right now. I told him I thought he was taking Slasher too lightly just because it wasn’t Cryptid. He accused me of not respecting him and then things spiraled from there.

We both said a lot of things we didn’t mean and I’m embarrassed that it turned into a bit of a fang measuring contest. I ended up sleeping under the bed for a few nights until he coaxed me out to apologize.

It was a rough patch, but we talked it out. We agreed that, going forward, I wouldn’t offer advice unless he asked and he would try not to take so much of his frustration home with him. He took a weekend off and we went on a recreational haunting trip in the Montana woods.

Things did get better after that. I tried not to give him consults every time he came back from a work trip. He started bringing me souvenirs like roses and cursed puzzle boxes his work said he could have. It became easier just to hang out with each other and it felt like we were back to normal.

But then, four months ago, he came home super pissed because his boss put him on a PIP. (A performance improvement plan.) Apparently, boyfriend had not been doing better at work, he had just stopped telling me when he had a bad assignment. I saw the paperwork he got (he left it in the dungeon under the house, I didn’t go through his stuff) and he’s been missing quota by a LOT. As a junior Slasher, he was supposed to be executing at least 6 people a week, but he’d been lucky to be maiming half that.

Obviously, I had to talk to him about that. We rent our house and, even though I could have afforded the rent on my own, I didn’t want to jeopardize the investments I was making in my business (I was in the process of hiring an assistant to handle my scheduling). Plus, we agreed from day one that we would be 50/50 on rent and I would take care of the rest of the bills because I earned more. I felt that if his financial situation was in jeopardy, he needed to talk to me about it.

I tried to approach him a bit differently than last time. I asked him if there was anything I could do to help. I told him about my slasher friend and how maybe she could give him advice if he didn’t want any from me. But he said he needed to figure stuff out on his own and that if he couldn’t get himself off the PIP then he would go back to work for his dad’s janitorial company.

I let it go. I was worried but I didn’t want to fight again just after patching the holes from the last blow out. It really bugged me that he thought I didn’t believe in him so I committed to giving him the benefit of the doubt. I said okay and asked him if he needed me to meal prep for both of us that week. He offered me grocery money, but I said it was fine since I’d had to deal with a lot of humans breaking in lately and I still had some leftover in the dungeon.

Fast forward a month. Boyfriend got off the PIP super fast. He worked his way off of it over Spring Break and started taking on a lot of extra assignments. In just four weeks he went to Miami Beach twice, New York City twice, and to three separate summer camps. I missed him and it was hard not having him around but I remembered how he said he needed to focus on his career and I tried not to nag.

It was hard not to nag though. With him gone, all the housework fell on me. We rent a 19th century manor, and its upkeep really does need two people. Doing all the chores plus running my business started to really drain me. Even when he was home, he forgot to banish the ghosts (my chore is to kill all invading humans, and his chore is to banish their ghosts) and he never took out the trash. I think he cleaned blood off the dungeon walls once, but then I had to basically redo it because he missed a lot of spots.

But still, I didn’t say anything because he was doing really well at work and I didn’t want to ruin that for him. Even when Humans started breaking in every week, I didn’t complain even though it interrupted my work day.

Last month though, I did ask him if we could move somewhere that needed less maintenance. There were just way too many Humans breaking in and I didn’t have the time to deal with them anymore. Even if I don’t do all the theatrics I used to as a Cryptid, killing humans through fear still takes a lot of time. He asked me if I didn’t appreciate the free meat, and I said I would appreciate it more if I wasn’t the only butchering it.

He said he didn’t want to move because he was really close to getting promoted to regional Nightmare and he didn’t want to take time off work to move. I was so surprised that I couldn’t hide how surprised I was. He saw and got offended. He asked if I still didn’t believe in him. I said that I did, but it was a huge jump to go from an 8% kill rate to getting promoted.

He got even more mad at me for bringing up his stats and he said that he had nearly 80% kill rate since being put on the PIP. I asked how many humans a week he was slashing and he told me I was being too nosy and that was proof that I didn’t believe in him.

I asked him if we could at least hire a ghoul then to keep the humans out of my office and he said he didn’t want to waste the money that we should be saving for our new house. I asked him what he wanted me to do then? I had to take phone calls for my consulting business and it was really hard to stalk humans all around the house while trying to sound like a professional to my clients.

He asked me to be patient for one more month. He said if he met quota for one more month, his boss said he’d get promoted. So I said fine and let it go.

Fast forward to now, almost a full month later.

Last Friday, I attended the Eldritch Conference. For those not in the scare field, the Eldritch Conference is the most prestigious event in our industry. It’s invitation only and is a chance to network with all the big players in the field. Mothman, the Jersey Devil, Bloody Mary and Bigfoot all spoke this year and both my former company, Grudge Industries, and my boyfriend’s current company, Forgotten Summer Solutions, were invited.

I was surprised to get an invite as a solo contributor to the field. However, my consulting firm has really been doing well and I did land a seasonal contract with the Yeti Co-op which I guess is how they heard about me. Plus, I’ve been a speaker before so I think the organizers knew I would behave myself.

I was planning on telling my boyfriend that I was going, but he was out of town on a co-ed sleepover assignment. He usually doesn’t have his phone on during his assignments, so I didn’t bother calling him. I just figured it’d be nice if we ran into each other at the conference if he made it back in time.

Which brings me to what actually happened (apologies for the long post).

So everything went great for my part of the day. I got to network with a lot of individual businesses and even got to reconnect with Blood Mary who I knew back in my Cryptid days. I told her I was dating a Slasher from Forgotten Summer Solutions and invited her to come with me to check out their booth. I thought it would be fun to grab dinner with her after since I assumed if my boyfriend was there, he’d be going out with coworkers which he often does. Plus, I admit, I was showing off a little. I don’t often get the chance to brag about my Cryptid days.

She agreed and we went over to see if my boyfriend was there.

I introduced myself to the people manning the booth. My boyfriend wasn’t there, but a few Slashers recognized my name and greeted me. They were definitely in awe of Bloody Mary (she came in full uniform) and invited us to look at their displays. They had portfolios for each Slasher on the desk as a sort of preview of what their services looked like.

While Bloody Mary looked through the portfolios, I chatted with my boyfriend’s coworkers. They said they were thrilled to work with him and that, even though he had a really rough start, it was impressive how quickly he started meeting his goals. Something about how they talked about his work kind of didn’t make sense. They were talking like he was killing a dozen humans a week, but he’d told me that he was at 80% on his assignments which typically only offer about ten humans each.

I asked them about it and they said that he’d been Slashing during After Hours which is a new goal supplement program his company launched a few months ago. Basically, anyone can sign up for After Hours and the company counts human kills done in uniform as part of their quota. I asked them if this was available to them while they were on assignment and they said no, it had to be done when they had down time. I asked them how my boyfriend was part of that when he was traveling all the time and they looked confused. One of them said that my boyfriend is still getting one assignment per week and is then supplementing his kill rate with After Hours.

At that point, I was even more confused. It sounded like my boyfriend had been lying to me then, because he told me that he was getting at least two assignments a week. If he was only getting one, then where was he going when he said he was traveling?

Bloody Mary interrupted before I could say anything and asked how their Slashers did their kills. They said that every Slasher at their company is required to use a standard issue weapon (like a machete or axe) for their kills to count. They said their company doesn’t count accidents as part of their quota (like falling or heart attacks).

Bloody Mary pulled me aside and showed me the portfolio she was holding. She said that she was going to give me a chance to explain without them overhearing and showed me the book. She said that a bunch of kills in it looked Cryptid kills. And she said, specifically, it looked like the kills I made when I was a Cryptid. I took the book from her and flipped through it and she was right, they really did look like Cryptid kills. Worse, I recognized a few of the Humans from the past few weeks. They were actually my kills!

Kill stealing is a major taboo in our industry.

I told her I didn’t know anything about this. She looked really relieved at that and said that even though I wasn’t a Cryptid anymore, it would look really bad for me if I was caught helping a Slasher cheat at their job. It could affect my business which she’d only heard good things about.

I’m embarrassed to say that I tried to defend him. He’s new to our industry so I thought it might be a mistake. He might not be trying to cheat, this could be a misunderstanding.

She said she didn’t think so because a mistake would be one or two of my kills mixed in with his, not the entire book.

I counted up how many photos were in the book and, all told, of the 146 kills, at least 100 were mine. I couldn’t really say it was a mistake at that point and I was just staring at his portfolio like an idiot. Bloody Mary asked me what I was going to do because, mistake or not, this looked really bad and could damage my reputation if it got out.

At that moment, another man walked up to booth and asked us if there was a problem. I knew that if I said anything, I would be jeopardizing my boyfriend’s job, but if I didn’t say something, I was jeopardizing my business.

I told my boyfriend’s coworkers that he was lying about his body count. I said I didn’t think that they knew he was doing it, but over half of the kills in his portfolio weren’t his and I suggested they remove it from their display before another Cryptid came by and realized it.

The other man thanked me for bringing this to his attention and asked how we knew. Bloody Mary said that she knew another Cryptid’s kills and I had to tell them that I was that Cryptid, though I was retired now. He asked me if I knew my boyfriend was doing this, and I told him no.

I told him I really didn’t want to get my boyfriend in trouble and suggested that maybe he didn’t know those kills didn’t belong to him because they happened in our house. I was grasping at straws and Blood Mary even looked sad for me. His coworkers looked skeptical but tentatively agreed. The man – who turned out to my boyfriend’s boss – said that they would investigate this thoroughly and apologized personally for his employee’s misconduct.

I was spiraling at that point so I thanked him and said I wasn’t mad, I was just looking out for both of our reputations. He promised to keep it between us and I agreed.

Then I apologized to Bloody Mary because I didn’t feel like eating dinner anymore. She said she understood and wished me well.

I went home and did a quick perimeter search of the property. Sure enough, there were human summoning stones ALL OVER the yard. Which means my boyfriend was intentionally luring humans to our house to get me to kill them so he could take credit. It wasn’t a mistake at all.

My boyfriend came home later that night in his work clothes. As soon he got inside he started yelling. He said he was suspended without pay and that all his hard work was for nothing.

I said I knew he’d been stealing my kills and he almost ruined my reputation. He said they still counted as his kills because he did all the work of luring the humans to our house.

I told him that wasn’t how it worked and he knew it. He said it was the same as setting a trap and I was taking this too seriously. I told him that, as a Slasher, he has to use a weapon to get his kills, not me. He said I was basically the same thing since I had such a high kill rate. I asked him if he was calling me an object.

(My parents exploited me by selling me as a haunted doll through a lot of my childhood and he knows I’m sensitive to being called an object.)

He backpedaled at that point and asked if I didn’t want to buy a house together. He said he was doing it for us and I should’ve understood and not said anything. I told him that when I was a Cryptid I had my pride and would’ve never done this.

He said I needed to tell his boss that he was the one who made all those kills. I said it wasn’t me who recognized them as Cryptid kills and now his boss knew too. He accused me of thinking I’m better than him because I have telekinetic powers and can move through shadows and can possess people, while he’s basically a human himself. I told him of course not and that I worked hard for those powers unlike him.

He got really mad at that and actually charged at me with his machete raised. I don’t think he was going to actually hit me, but I reacted like he was. It was all instinct. I disarmed him and I swear I heard a crack when I grabbed his wrist. I shoved him into the wall.

 He crumpled to the floor and started crying. He said sorry and sort of curled up around his wrist. He said he didn’t ever feel like he was enough for me and he didn’t even know why I was still with him. He called himself a bunch of names and said I would be better off without him.

I sort of awkwardly stood there for a minute. On one hand I wanted to assure him that he was enough and that I loved him, but, on the other, I wasn’t sure I could forgive him. He nearly ruined my reputation, and he embarrassed me in front of Bloody Mary. Plus, I still didn't know where he’d been going all those times he said he was on a business trip and apparently wasn’t.

So I ended up not saying anything. I went to our room and started packing a bag. He followed me. He was still crying as he begged me not to go. He said he would own up to his kill steals at work and he would make it right. He pleaded for me not to leave him and that he would give up slashing.

I told him I needed space to think. He tried to grab me, but I shadow walked out of the house. I heard him screaming from outside and I hurriedly drove away.

Now I’m at my friend’s house and I told her everything. She agreed I did the right thing walking away from him, but when I asked her what I should do she hesitated. She said that my boyfriend wasn’t right to kill steal but, as a fellow Slasher, she understood what he was going through. She said I wouldn’t understand the pressure to meet quota because I was always surpassing mine when I was in the field. She said that a Cryptid could never understand a Slasher.

She also said that nobody would have found out about his kills if I hadn’t brought them to his boss’ attention. She said the only time kills are on display like that is at the Eldritch Conference and by the next one, he’d have had kills of his own. She thinks that if I’d just confronted him at home, he wouldn’t be on suspension.

So now I’m worried that I overreacted when I told my boyfriend’s coworkers that he was lying about his body count.

AITA?

----

Thanks for reading! Several amazing supernatural citizens (aka my Patrons) gave great advice to our poor OP over on my Patreon! Please go check them out here (X)

(I will definitely be posting some of them here in the near future!)

My next supernatural AITA is already up to my patrons!

It's called "AITA for divorcing my vampire husband because he lied about his human job?"

Patrons get to see many of my stories a week ahead! If that interests you please check me out here (X)!

[seth-whumps]

I MADE A WHUMP EVENT: get ready for July folks

welcome to the Whumperless Whump Event of July! for your sickfic, situational, and completely apersonal whump needs--comfort included, of course. follow @whumperless-whump-event for more information and details!

Image transcripts, tagging rules, and guidelines under the cut!

RULES

Any and all art types allowed (GIFs, drawings, music, writing, etc.)

No AI generated content allowed

OCs and Fandom works alike are welcome :)

Trigger and content tags required, even if the prompt explicitly requires the content (eg. Vomiting still needs the emetophobia tag)

NSFT and NSFW are allowed, if tagged appropriately. This blog will not reblog them, as minors do follow it. However, you're still free to write as you please :)

If enough interest is shown, I will make an Ao3 collection (edit: ao3 collection is made and can be found here)

Side note: please let me know if there's anything I can do to make this post or event more accessible. Should I put the image transcripts on the ID too? Is the formatting causing issues? What can I do?

This is not a contest, just an event. The only awards will be announcements for people who completed the whole darn thing. My entries will not receive any announcements or awards, because I'm hosting

TAGGING

Tag with, per example: #whumperless whump event day 1; #whumperless whump event; and (optional) #whumperless whump event day 1: alcohol as a sanitizer

Tag @whumperless-whump-event please! If not, I may not see it or be able to reblog it!

If desired, tag the medium you used

Trigger tag and content warn (including nsfw/nsft)

If posting early, tag with #wwe early entry. If posting late, tag with #wwe late entry. If posting just for fun, no need to tag these!

IMPORTANT:

There are NO OTHER RULES. Do one prompt! Do seven! Do 'em all! Repeat the same prompt six days in a row! Switch them around and do them all out of order! Post them eight months after the event is over! Finish the prompt list early! Write one long-ass story that deals with every prompt or do a one-sentence drabble for each one! Recommend your favorite scenes regarding the prompt! Write, draw, sing, play music, make playlists, do fic recs or show recs or episode recs or book recs, fucking crochet or something! FOLLOW THE VIBE. DO WHAT'S FUN.

Prompts (text):

Emergency First Aid: Self-done stitches / Alcohol as sanitizer / “It's just a scratch, I've had worse.”

Does your insurance cover this?: Car accident / Bystander caretaker / “Eyes open, ambulance is almost here.”

Like a record, baby: Vertigo / Struggling to stand / “Is the room spinning, or is it just me?”

It's every day bro: Chronic pain / Massage / “I'm used to it.”

Stealing my breath (give it back): Wheezing / Light-headed / “I'll count, you just breathe.”

Summer is a curse: Heat Stroke / Panting / “Why don't we… find some shade, quick?”

Accidental Cryotherapy: Falling through a frozen lake / Hypothermia / “Hey, c'mon, you gotta stay awake.”

Put your head on my shoulder: Migraine / Light & Sound Sensitivity / “I can close the curtains…”

White and red handkerchief: Coughing up blood / Can't speak / “You just can't shake that cough, can you?”

Your work is never finished: Forced to work while ill / Workplace emergency / “...sit down, I'm calling HR.”

A minor annoyance: Stuffy nose / Hate to be sick / “I'm fine, I can work.”

It's going down (I'm yelling timber): Building collapse / Trapped under rubble / “I can't move my legs.”

It's just a pebble: Avalanche / Stuck in the mountains / “Well, this wasn't how I thought the hiking trip would go.”

Lay down your sword: Fighting back a cold / Cuddling / “Just let yourself be sick so you can get better.”

I'm going down (you're yelling timber): Passing out / Exhaustion / “I've got you, let's sit down, I've got you.”

Say goodbye to filters: Half-conscious / Delirious / “You would never say that in your right mind…”

In hot water: Dangerously high fever / Cool baths / “We have to get that number down somehow.”

I don't see it: Hallucinations / Fever dreams / “It's just a nightmare. You're safe.”

The whump morning after: Tending to injuries / Domestic hurt comfort / “Let's check the bandages, okay?”

It's not fun if you're panicking: Stuck in an elevator / Claustrophobia / “Get me out.”

Where's the exit: Lost / Stuck in the wilderness / “Surely someone will notice we're gone.”

Better out than in: Nervous Stomach / Vomiting / “I got your hair, it's fine.”

Well, that doesn't taste right: Accidentally poisoned / Allergic reaction / “My tongue feels like bees, is that normal?”

Be one with the fish: Drowning / Rescue Breaths / “Why did you think that was a good idea?!”

We didn't start the fire: Severe burns / Running into flames / “I know it hurts. Breathe.”

That's no barn spider: Venomous bite / Arachnophobia / “You'll be okay, we can help.”

What's your name again?: Concussion / Temporary Amnesia / “I don't remember what happened to me.”

Nothing behind the eyes: Fully unconscious / Force feeding / “It's just me, go back to sleep.”

Wrong place, wrong time: Robbery / One of many hostages / “Stay behind me, I can take a hit.”

I don't mean to get emotional: Fear / Breaking point / “I can't stop crying, I'm sorry--”

Only way out is through: Tunnel collapse / Accidental Journey / “We can't just sit here and wait.”

ALTERNATES:

Seizure

Choking

Withdrawal

Mugged

Wild animal attack

Hangover

Strain/sprain

Broken bone

Bloody nose

Panic attack

[astonmartinii]

knives out | lewis hamilton social media au

pairing: lewis hamilton x rosberg!reader

2016 saw the murder of brocedes right before our very eyes, but who got y/n in the will?

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

- part of the brother's best friend series -

yourusername

liked by lewishamilton, maxverstappen1 and 751,209 others

tagged: nicorosberg

yourusername: back in barcelona! nothing has ever happened here, right? RIGHT?

view all comments

user1: when i'm in a victim of brocedes contest and y/n rosberg turns up

user2: nico was like "oh, lewis has had a good qualifying... here comes the curse"

user3: he's the hater we should all aspire to be

nicorosberg: barcelona is a beautiful place but you should pick your company well!

yourusername: great advice nico, i should've left you at home

nicorosberg: snore! i'm great company you just can't keep up with my great personality and wit

yourusername: what ever you need to tell yourself old man

nicorosberg: i'm two years older than you?

yourusername: how was the industrial revolution?

user4: i hope they never grow up and always argue in public

user5: omg the argument on sky about lewis v seb in canada... and jenson just stood there with the biggest shit-eating grin ever

lewishamilton: my trauma is not your joke

yourusername: it was my trauma too i was the one who had to listen to him complain for the next TWO WEEKS

lewishamilton: trying to find where i care...

yourusername: you complained first ??

lewishamilton: rightly so!

yourusername: do not tussle with me about this, by now i thought you'd know that us rosbergs don't play about complaining

lewishamilton: believe me my therapist knows that

user6: i know nico sat on his hands forcing himself not to comment back

user7: alternatively, celebrating that he still lives in lewis' head

lewishamilton

liked by georgerussell63, charles_leclerc and 2,305,899 others

tagged: yourusername

lewishamilton: @yourusername i may love you but if that man ever takes a picture of my car i'm putting a hit on his head

view all comments

user11: we got a relationship reveal and a death threat all in one post

user12: lewis saw yall ready to make a brocedes edit using this race and made sure you knew that he doesn't care about a his old haunts

user13: he was like yall shipping me with the wrong rosberg

yourusername: let's refrain from threats for now

lewishamilton: we're gonna have to get rid of that last name, no more curses

nicorosberg: RIGHT THAT IS IT IF YOU DARE GET MARRIED DOUBLE-BARRELLED OR ELSE, ROSBERGS ARE ELITE AND YOU WISH YOU HAD THIS NAME

yourusername: he does have a point

lewishamilton: i'm for real going to lose my mind that we haven't spoken in years and this is where he drew the line

nicorosberg: you told the world you're dating my sister at the same time as me

lewishamilton: stop cursing me then 🤨

nicorosberg: i don't curse you my devilish good looks just sent your engine into cardiac arrest

user14: i know toto wolff just fell to his knees in the mercedes garage seeing them bicker in instagram comments after making merc a literal warzone for years

user15: and yet this is the most brocedes way to go about it

georgerussell63: even if you're dating his sister, i'm still your favourite teammate right?

yourusername: valterri exists buddy soz

georgerussell63: *clutches my pearls*

lewishamilton: and that is exactly why valterri is my favourite teammate

georgerussell63: whatever 💁🏻‍♀️

charles_leclerc: not for long xx

yourusername: whoever can bring me the best coffee can get the crown?

lewishamilton: stop exploiting my teammate and future teammate

yourusername: that's what they're there for?

yourusername

liked by nicorosberg, maxverstappen1 and 823,087 others

tagged: lewishamilton

yourusername: anything happen this week?

view all comments

user19: y/n ruining her brother's week - anything happen this week?

user20: more like year

nicorosberg: more like life

yourusername: drama queen

nicorosberg: as i should be !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yourusername: got enough exclamation marks in there buddy

nicorosberg: no open the door i need to scream directly in your ears

yourusername: if it's any consolation, the relationship started after 2016

nicorosberg: so he got me out of the way so he could go for my little sister 🤨

lewishamilton: yep!

nicorosberg: no i'm serious let me in i need to yell

nicorosberg: I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE I CAN HEAR ROSCOE

nicorosberg: fine i'll just abseil from my apartment give me a sec

user21: y/n please let him in he's so serious about that i can feel it

user22: anyone from monaco here and want to keep us updated?

danielricciardo: Y/N LET HIM IN HE NEARLY KICKED MY POTTED PLANT OFF THE BALCONY

yourusername: lol

danielricciardo: THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER PLEASE

lewishamilton: fine, you people are such bores

nicorosberg: i nearly lost a birkenstock

yourusername: and my inheritance nearly doubled

lewishamilton: *our

user23: i think lewis is having way too much fun with this

nicorosberg

liked by lewishamilton, jensonbutton and 692,889 others

tagged: yourusername

nicorosberg: we're back at the track and i've got a sneaking feeling that the red bull might be fast around here

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user24: nico said babe won't catch me posting lewis on my instagram

maxverstappen1: sure thing buddy he's dating your sister, but there's NO NEED TO TAKE IT OUT ON ME

nicorosberg: i said you're going to win?

maxverstappen1: i DON'T NEED YOUR BAD JUJU GIVE IT TO LEWIS HE'S THE ONE YOU'RE ANGRY AT NOT ME

nicorosberg: i'm not angry at lewis

lewishamilton: really?

nicorosberg: OF COURSE NOT

yourusername: he'll get over it soon lewis don't worry

lewishamilton: really? he's still holding a grudge from 2016 - that was EIGHT YEARS AGO

yourusername: yeah sorry that's a rosberg trait ❤️

user25: not the grid becoming victims of the brocedes fall out eight years later

yourusername: you're so shady why did you crop lewis out?

nicorosberg: outfit wasn't on par with the rosbergs

yourusername: oh no

lewishamilton: HOW DARE YOU

yourusername: you queens can take this out on each other i'm not getting involved in this one

lewishamilton: i know this birkenstock wearing primadonna is not dissing my custom mcqueen

nicorosberg: it's custom because no one would want something so ugly 🫶🏻

user26: someone take nico off the parc ferme interviews lewis might just run him over

user27: he should just let roscoe at his ankles

nicorosberg: that vegan dog can't do shit to me

yourusername: leave the kids out of it nico

nicorosberg: you birthed that? my condolences to your reproductive system

lewishamilton: DO NOT FAT SHAME MY SON

roscoelovescoco: kill yourself @nicorosberg

user28: WTF IS GOING ON

lewishamilton

liked by georgerussell63, kimiantonelli and 2,844,599 others

tagged: yourusername

lewishamilton: he may have won the battle, but i won the war

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user29: bro you're going to be subjected to boho chic Christmases for the rest of your life

user30: guy is going to get poisoned via christmas nut roast by nico 😭

yourusername: this is corny but i love you

lewishamilton: i love you too i'm going to pretend you didn't just call my super thought out caption corny

yourusername: it was corny and that's what i love about you

nicorosberg: you need better standards

yourusername: for someone who had so much homoerotic tension with the man that you retired you're being very rude about the subject of such tension

nicorosberg: that's not how that went

yourusername: sure, jan

nicorosberg: stop trying to rewrite history

yourusername: i saw it with my own two eyes... are you jealous that i ended up with lewis instead of you?

nicorosberg: nO

user31: i feel like this is definitely not the argument i thought i would see on the internet today

user32: lewis hamilton got passed around the rosberg house ... this your goat?

user33: both rosbergs are hawt as hell so yes!

charles_leclerc: oh great, keep stoking the flames lewis! if you invoke his wrath upon ferrari next season i will personally sacrifice you to the gods

lewishamilton: excuse me?

charles_leclerc: i don't know if you know this but i kinda don't have a world championship yet ... I DO NOT WANT THE ROSBERG CURSE ATTACHED TO ME

lewishamilton: do not minimise my trauma charles

charles_leclerc: you haven't joined ferrari yet, you don't know trauma. be nice to him, i can't finish my career with max having more championships than me

maxverstappen1: skill issue

user34: do these people ever stop arguing?

yourusername: no! and i can assure you it's worse in person

user35: worst brocedes tussle since nico found out?

yourusername: i was making a list of people to invite to my birthday dinner and nico was angry that i wrote lewis' name before his

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, lewishamilton and 1,304,277 others

tagged: lewishamilton, nicorosberg

yourusername: still a victim of the brocedes nuclear fallout all these years later

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user37: bro nearly lost her bf to her brother

user38: lewis couldn't have nico and went for his sister instead

user39: insert larry stylinson theory here that y/n is just the beard and toto wolff is simon cowell

yourusername: i'm blocking all of you

nicorosberg: still yapping about this ... and i'm the dramatic one

yourusername: babe we can all see all of your comments on previous posts where you're the literal definition of crashing out

nicorosberg: BARCELONA WAS LEWIS' FAULT WE ALL KNOW THIS

yourusername: when did i bring up barcelona... you just proved my point IDIOT

nicorosberg: make me sound insane all you want ... TOTO IS THE REAL VILLAIN HERE

yourusername: ???

nicorosberg: he notebooked us

yourusername: riiiiiiiiiiight

nicorosberg: i wrote lewis a letter when i retired and toto never gave it to him

yourusername: you're telling me i had to hide my relationship for so long because you trusted that austrian big foot fraud to be your messenger pigeon ?

user40: did we just get insane brocedes lore on a random tuesday?

user41: you're telling me it was toto's fault the whole time?

lewishamilton: well yes it would've been helpful to have gotten the letter, you have to admit the sneeking around was hot

yourusername: you're right 🤭🤭🤭

lewishamilton: hiding in your bathroom while nico came over to bitch about me was a personal highlight

nicorosberg: excuse me?

lewishamilton: i know we're trying to be better, so here's a compliment: you're very creative when being mean about me

nicorosberg: why thank you 😝

yourusername: nuh uh we ain't doing this shit

lewishamilton: don't worry y/n you'll always be my favourite

nicorosberg: but you'll never have our trip to greece :P

yourusername: i will strangle you britney

user42: y/n got brocedes to talk again, but at what cost?

lewishamilton

liked by nicorosberg, charles_leclerc and 4,677,309 others

tagged: yourusername

lewishamilton: got y/n's hand in marriage in the will (after i murdered her brother's career)

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user43: y/n can't escape brocedes even on her engagement post

user44: she (and them) will never get rid of it

yourusername: i love you baby, here's to the rest of our life (even if that includes you arguing with my brother for the rest of time)

lewishamilton: i love you even more, i'd go through all of that psychological warfare again and again if it means i still end up with you

yourusername: we've always had an invisible string

lewishamilton: and there's no one else i'd want to be cosmically tied to <3

user45: i might cry they're so cute

user46: that comment thread called me single in about 100 different languages

charles_leclerc: congratulations you two! also congratulations to me - no more rosberg curse!

yourusername: really? on this POST?

charles_leclerc: hold on girlypop, it was mr hamilton-rosberg that brought up your brother first not me

lewishamilton: you better get all this attitude out now charles

charles_leclerc: what? you gonna marry my brother?

yourusername: lol i'm not threatened by them

arthurleclerc: why am i being shaded?

user47: 2025 HURRY THE FUCK UP

nicorosberg: i guess you're finally getting the rosberg name you've always wanted ...

lewishamilton: yes... i have always had a crush on your sister

nicorosberg: GASP! PERVERT 🫵🏻 i have known you since we were 12 you GROSS MAN

lewishamilton: WELL YES I WAS ALSO 12 I'VE NOT ALWAYS BEEN 36 MORON

yourusername: well doesn't this just get me excited for christmas

user48: i know a monopoly board hate to see these three coming

yourusername: @nicorosberg can i have an actual congratulations???

nicorosberg: i'm happy for you, i'm glad you're happy (also he's loaded so slay)

yourusername: i'll take it!

lewishamilton: sure whatever thanks nico !

fin.

note: lol finally finished this one! i have been very in and out on here, i have a lot going on x

[marciliedonato]

God, grant me the serenity to not look at the eurovision top 37s, the courage not to look at the eurovision top 37s and the wisdom not to look at the eurovision top 37s.....🧘‍♀️🧘‍♀️

[tame-the-lion-writes]

for the CatReader Au

the boys try to speed up the bonding process by slow-blinking and now reader is fighting the devil himself to not give into instincts and slow blink back

(MY FIRST CAT READER AU ASK H U Z Z A H)

Soap tried the blinking first, crouching at the door of his bedroom. And when Gaz came across him, he asked what on earth he was doing; as soon as he got an answer, he joined.

"You two gonna be there all day? We got livestock to feed," Price sighed, hauling a recently-bought sack of chicken feed over his shoulder.

"Just a minute longer, sir. Tryin' to bond with the cat."

"Tryin' bond with the devil, more like," Ghost muttered under his breath, still pissed about the mice left in his room just two days ago. He was ready to head out as well but stopped just to give the cat a glare.

"Oh, c'mon now. Cats give stuff to people they like," Soap laughed, continuing to slow blink at the little lady staring straight at him. She still hadn't moved from her spot in bed. Not had she blinked for the past ten minutes--probably from sheer spite. (Didn't stop them from trying, though.) "Maybe she thought ya can't hunt."

"No, no--she knows what she did. The fuckin' brat--"

"Soap," Price cut in, "where are you getting this info anyway? I doubt the usual cat behaviour applies to our little...," he trails off, looking at the cat with an exasperated expression, "... friend."

"Couldn't hurt to try."

"Will hurt if you keep puttin' off your chores," Ghost muttered, giving Soap a quick smack to the back of his head. The Scot responded with a sharp yell, rubbing the spot gingerly.

"OI!-- LT--"

"Guys, shush!" Gaz scolded, pointing to the cat and drawing their attention back to her. Sure enough, willpower had failed her; she'd given into a slow-blink and a half when she saw the rest of them staring--at which point she hissed and buried herself under the blankets.

"Small victories, Gaz," Price eventually chuckled, amused. He clapped a hand to the back of the sergeant's shoulder. "Small victories."

_

Bonus Thoughts:

Soap gets his own slow blink next. Then Price.

Ghost gets it last, but only after sneaking into Soap's room several times at night because he refuses to show the rest of the boys that he's getting soft on the cat. It takes another week or so, though.

"Just slow blink already, ya lil' shit."

Petty staring contest intensifies.

[cherry-hulu]

— Shows on 3.. 2.. 1..

Synopsis: Thirteen dicks in front of you, all standing tall with varying girth and size. Not a matter of when and where, but rather a matter of how.

Warnings: idol!SVT x idol!fem reader, orgy, unprotected sex, exhibitionism, implied free use, oral (m receiving), dirty talk, double penetration, creampie, implied age gap, dacryphilia, throat bulge, LOTS of cum, orgasm delay, pwp

#Part One — #Part Two

You on all fours with Dino rutting behind you, mouth covered by his big hands while his other was wrapped around your waist pressing you against him. G spot being abused by the constant hit of his cock. Skimpy skirt held up, safety shorts on the floor. No lube, no protection.

All while his other members watch, dicks out of their pants, standing up and hard, raging red with precum leaking up at the top. Some were jacking off, some were just rubbing themselves,some were helping each other by jacking each other off or sucking the other, but all had their eyes on you.

Your mouth is slightly ajar, eyes unfocused and glassy, lips swollen because of how hard Dino had kissed you earlier, pretty and beautiful moans and whimpers coming out of your mouth. You were a wet dream come true.

"You like that? You like whoring yourself out in front of your seniors? Little slut." Followed by a slap to the ass by Dino himself.

"Bet she does, probably gets herself off to the thought of us 'no?" Said Minghao

"Such a pretty hole, always open and ready to be fucked. Heard from a little birdie that you took both Jaehyun and San in one go just yesterday." Said Mingyu

"If she can take two then I bet she can take all of us, isn't that right right slut?" Hoshi asks rubbing the tip of his cock slowly. Groans and moans from the other members was taken out of that question.

"Such a perfect cock sleeve. Can't wait 'till we can have our own way with you." Joshua mutters

"Fuck.." Dino whispers under his breath, hips moving faster, harder, and deeper. If you weren't already wrecked earlier, you most definitely are now. Eyes rolling to the back of your head, your lips stuck between your teeth, you looked like a wet dream come true.

Wonwoo, taking the initiative, stands up from his seat and walks over to you with his cock hanging out off his pants. You open your mouth as you feel his thumb caress your lips, holding your chin within the palm of his hands. You suck on his fingers as they slip into your mouth, slobbering your saliva all over it— your doe eyes staring straight into his sharp siren gaze.

Woozi, now standing beside you, grabs your left hand gently, lifting it to wrap around his dick before beginning to thrust his hibs nack and forth slowly. "Hm.. your nails look too pink princess, how about we add some white to it?" He grunts as you rub your thumb across his top, gliding your nails in between the slit of his penis.

Your right hand was next, now with Vernon this time. Without any word spoken, he grabbed your fingers and wrapped them around his length. He was intent on watching you suck Wonwoo's fingers off while you hold a staring contest with the taller man.

Dino— seeing all of this unfold— didn't took too long until he was cumming inside of you not giving two shits if it was ruining your dress. "What an obedient good little girl, taking cum without complaints." He says as he slowly pulls out watching his semen drip out of your glistening cunt.

"My turn princess." Seungkwan said as he finally stood to his feat and walked over to you, he'd been watching from behind, loving the way your ass jiggles everytime Dino's hips meet yours. Dick in his hand, he gives himself a few long strokes before pushing into you filling your cunt up again.

He can't help but moan at the feeling of your tight cunt filled with the cum of his dongsaeng embrace his cock in a warm welcome embrace. More semen seeps out of your pussy as he pushes his whole length in, creaming off the sides of your hole. Astonished, he stayed still as he watches your pussy hug him tight.

You moaned with him feeling mutual about the experience, eyes crossing and moving to the back of your head breaking eye contact with Jeon Wonwoo. And before you knew it, Wonwoo was inserting his own length into your mouth taking you by surprise, causing you to choke lightly.

"Such a good girl, taking good care of her seniors. That's all you are aren't you? Just a tight pretty hole to be filled." Jeonghan. The devil has finally spoken having come up from sucking off Seungcheol. From being on his knees to man-spreading playing with the tip of his cock. The versatility of this man was insane.

"Hm.. but as far as I know good girls don't let their senior do all the work. Don't they?" A deep throaty voice echoes the room as the leader and eldest of the group spoke his words. He was sitting on the loveseat taking up majority of it's space as he spreads his legs, dick standing big and tall resting against his abdomen. It was wet, covered with Jeonghans saliva and his own precum.

You whimpered as your cunt tightens at their words, both hands immediately moving to motion jack off the two boys beside you, head bobbing up and down, pussy grinding on Seungkwan.

Jun, now standing beside Wonwoo, slaps his cock on the small cock bulge on your cheek spreading his precum all over your face. It was hard and heavy filled with cum waiting to be released. His tip ran all over your face before stopping beside the corners of your mouth. "Open up princess, let's put this pretty mouth to good use."

You stop moving your head leaving only your ass and hands in motion. You whimpered looking up at him, you looked like a mess. Make-up running all over your face, mouth spread wide open wrapped around Wonwoo's cock. "C'mon, open up for sunbae. You can take it, I know you can." Jun smirks, tapping his tip on your lips.

Slowly, you pull away from Wonwoos cock before sticking your tongue out for the both of them. The two men make eye contact first smirking at each other. Their dicks were pretty different from each other— Wonwoo was thick while Jun was on the thinner side, but their lengths were on par with each other.

Jun goes first laying his dick on your tongue, followed by Wonwoo doing the same. You move your head forward looking up at both of them as you slowly take them inch by inch. "Shit," Vernon whispers under his breath as he cums all over your hands. "So fucking hot baby," he moans as he watches his hyungs dick disappear into your throat.

Halfway through their length, an evident bulge was starting to show on your throat. Tears shed from yout eyes as your mouth stretches wider than it has ever been in your whole entire life.

"You look so pretty when you cry baby.. only a few more, come one, you can do it, hyung is so proud of you." Wonwoo coos as he cups the side of your face in his hands making you whimper around the two men.

You choke on their dick as Seungkwan starts moving behind you grinding back on your cunt. "Such a good princess, taking us so well." He moans, starting to thrust his hips into you. Pace starting slow before moving quickly forcing you to move forward on Jun and Wonwoos dick inevitably swallowing them more.

"Poor baby, doesn't know who to focus on," Minghao coos at you as Vernon moves away from you, your hand immediately wrapping around Minghaos dick as he comes close to you. "Would you look at that? I haven't even said anything yet and she already knows what to do. Certified slut." He chuckles.

To be honest, you weren't registering anything that was happening to you anymore. You were slowly turning dumb, the only thing you knew was cock cock cock and cock.

Jun slowly starts to thrust his dick into you when he starts to notice your struggle. "No thoughts behind those eyes 'no?"

"Fuck– shit– I'm cumming–," Woozi whines as spurts of cum come out of his dick completely covering your fingers in his cum. Boy was he a heavy cummer, you kinda wished he did it somewhere else.

Your attention from the producer immediately shifted away when you feel Wonwoo and Jun thrusting into your mouth. All of a sudden you feel two different hands go under your top and fondle with your boobs. This in combination with Seungkwan constantly impaling your g-spot has you rolling your eyes backwards.

You were doing so good in holding your come until this very moment, almost forgetting about your sunbaes orders, you hold your stomach tight stopping yourself from cumming. You were so close, so, so, so close.

"Sh.. shit.. fuck! I'm cum.. cumming," Seungkwan groans behind you, thrusts staring to speed up even more hitting you harder than before.

"How about you all go together and cover her up in your cum?" Seokmin spoke, finally.

"Y.. yeah. I can do that." Minghao responds, breaths shaky as he nears his orgasm.

"I'm close.." Wonwoo says groaning. "Yeah.. me too." Jun, breathless.

A few more thrusts and your senses were overwhelmed of how much cum is going on and into you.

Seungkwan shooting his seeds deep within you, mixing with your precum and Dinos dump earlier. Jun and Wonwoo filling up your mouth, directly shooting down your throat forcing you to swallow and taste a mix of their cum. And of course, Minghao spraying all over your hand and back while pinching your tits.

It truly was a sight to see, something that some people could only imagine. Moans, pants, and whimpers echoes in the room as the other members cum on their own as well. It was clear to see that everybody was spent.

Well everybody except five. Seungcheol, Jeonghan, Joshua, Seokmin, Hoshi, and Mingyu. Who's dicks are still as hard as rock, standing as tall as the buildings.

Insisting that they go before the other members considering how far their stamina can get them. They sat on the couch watching everything unfold before them, barely stroking their dicks.

And to ensure that they'd still have you despite already dealing with seven of their members, they made a rule, that if you had cum during the first round with the others. They'd make sure it would be your last for that week. Telling other idols to always leav you hanging no matter what. Because that's what bad girls get.

One by one, the other members pull away from you, taking their place somewhere in the room, leaving you in the middle. Cum all over your body, leaking from your cunt, your mouth, and spread all over your hand and even on your pretty dress you'd performed in.

"Ready for round two princess?"

[doyoulikethissong-poll]

ABBA - Waterloo 1974

"Waterloo" is a song by Swedish pop group ABBA, with music composed by Benny Andersson and Björn Ulvaeus and lyrics written by Stikkan Anderson. It is first single of the group's second studio album of the same name, and their first under the Atlantic label in the US. This was also the first single to be credited to the group performing under the name ABBA. The title and lyrics reference the 1815 Battle of Waterloo, and use it as a metaphor for a romantic relationship.

In 1974, "Waterloo" represented Sweden in the 19th edition of the Eurovision Song Contest held in Brighton, winning the contest and beginning ABBA's path to worldwide fame. The song differed from the standard "dramatic ballad" tradition at the contest by its flavour and rhythm, as well as by its performance. ABBA gave the audience something that had rarely been seen before in Eurovision: flashy costumes (including silver platform boots), a catchy uptempo song and simple choreography. It was the first winning entry in a language other than that of their home country; prior to 1973, all Eurovision singers had been required to sing in their country's native tongue, a restriction that was lifted briefly for the contests between 1973 and 1976 (thus allowing "Waterloo" to be sung in English), then reinstated before ultimately being removed again in 1999. Watch the performance in Swedish here. Sveriges Radio released a promo video for "Waterloo" that was directed by film director Lasse Hallström, whose first notable English-language film success was What's Eating Gilbert Grape in 1993. ABBA recorded the German and French versions of "Waterloo" in March and April 1974; the French version was adapted by Alain Boublil, who would later go on to co-write the 1980 musical Les Misérables.

The song shot to number 1 in the UK and stayed there for two weeks, becoming the first of the band's nine UK number 1's, and the 16th biggest selling single of the year in the UK. It also topped the charts in Belgium, Denmark, Finland, West Germany, Ireland, Norway, and Switzerland, while reaching the Top 3 in Austria, France, the Netherlands, Spain, and Sweden. Unlike other Eurovision-winning tunes, the song's appeal transcended Europe: "Waterloo" also topped the charts in South Africa, and reached the Top 10 in Australia, Canada, New Zealand, Rhodesia, and the US (peaking at number 6, their third-highest-charting US hit after number 1 "Dancing Queen" and number 3 "Take a Chance on Me"). In 2005, at Eurovision fiftieth anniversary competition Congratulations: 50 Years of the Eurovision Song Contest, "Waterloo" was chosen as the best song in the contest's history.

"Waterloo" is featured in the encore of the musical Mamma Mia!. The song does not have a context or a meaning. It is just performed as a musical number in which members of the audience are encouraged to get up off their seats and sing, dance and clap along. The song is performed by the cast over the closing credits of the film Mamma Mia!, but is not featured on the official soundtrack. It is also performed as part of the story in the sequel, Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again, by Hugh Skinner and Lily James.

The Australian film Muriel's Wedding (1994), features "Waterloo" in a pivotal scene in which lead Toni Collette bonds with the character played by Rachel Griffiths. The film's soundtrack, featuring five ABBA tracks, is widely regarded as having helped to fuel the revival of popular interest in ABBA's music in the mid-1990s. "Waterloo" features prominently in the 2015 science-fiction film The Martian. The song plays as the film's lead, played by Matt Damon, works to ready his launch vehicle for a last-chance escape from Mars. In "Mother Simpson", the eighth episode of the seventh season of The Simpsons, Mr. Burns plays "Ride of the Valkyries" from a tank about to storm the Simpson home, but the song is cut-off and "Waterloo" is played, to which Smithers apologizes, advising he "must have accidentally taped over that".

"Waterloo" received a total of 89% yes votes!

(the video is posted by ABBA's own account, not Eurovision's = safe to watch)

[southislandwren]

okay SOMEHOW this little baby got put in charge of bringing the van over to the department building so now i have a little baggy of car insurance information and the knowledge that if i miss my 5:30am alarm tomorrow i am royally fucking up everything.

[hypewinter]

He didn't know how far he had wandered. He had just kept running and running, for once glad of his newfound body's constitution. But now he was finally tired and he doubted his pursuers were close by (if they were even looking for him anymore). So for now, he found an abandoned warehouse, bundled up under a tarp, and rested.

----

Wally had been scouting the area for the enemy when he found the boy. He'd noticed a particularly weird shaped clump in the corner and when he removed the tarp, he found a body. At first he thought the body was dead since he had no pulse and was cold to the touch. But then the boy suddenly sat up causing Wally to have to back up (he did not yelp from the sudden movement thank you very much).

The boy backed up towards the warehouse wall and pulled his knees to his chest as he studied Wally. For his part, Wally studies the boy back. He was clad in a black suit with golden accents and more knives that Wally was comfortable with. His golden avian eyes seemed to bore into the young hero. They seemed to size Wally up as opposed to being full of fear. Additionally, despite being huddled away in hiding the boy displayed no signs of fear. Overall it felt less like he was cowering away and more like he was silently judging him. Wally really didn't like how it felt like this kid would slit his throat if given the chance.

As the two continued their staring contest, Wally felt a gust of wind and Barry was suddenly by his side. "Kid Flash, what's up? You weren't answering your co-" Barry trailed off as he noticed the boy.

He side glanced at Wally but the sidekick only shrugged back. Barry stepped forward. The boy tensed, muscles suddenly tight and body ready to spring. Barry quickly put his hands up.

"We don't want to hurt you," He said. "Quite the opposite actually. We're heroes, we can help."

The body blinked long and slow at him, before finally his body seemed to uncoil. He gracefully got to his feet and neared the pair, circling around them once before stopping in front of them with a soft smile.

Wally returned it with a smile of his own. "So uh- why are you here? Is someone chasing you or something? Wait, what's your name first?"

The boy's face crumpled into something sad before he pulled down the collar of his suit to reveal a scar running across his throat. Oh. Both heroes side glanced each other at the same time, a silent communication shared between them. The bats? The bats.

[reticent-writer]

Okay The Hashira taking care of a half human half demon baby? Like the baby can survive on human food and animals and are repulsed by human blood. Like the babies basically are found trying to explore new things like Nezuko in a way

Demon slayer masterlist Demons with baby reader

✿✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･**･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*ﾟ:*:✼✿　

Shinjuro held you in the air and examined you. Kyojuro left you with his father while he and senjuro went to the market.

Leaving you with a former Hashira wasn't a good idea in hindsight but who would kill a child.

"Half human half demon huh?" He muttered to himself as he watched you move in his arms.

He lowered you to where you were nestled on his chest and he laid back.

Shinjiro and kyojuro came back to see you and their father asleep on the floor in your room.

-------

Giggles could be heard in the Tengen ousehold as it was dinner time.

Tengen was rolling on the floor with you as the girls made dinner.

"Hope the both of you worked up an appetite." Hina came in giggling at her husband on his back with you on his stretched-out feet.

"Ahh lord Tengen you have to be careful with them. They're just a child." Suma came in fusing over to pick you up

-------

Obanai didn't know how to take care of a child so he went to the closest person he knew, Mitsuri.

"Aww look how cute Obanai they eat human food." She gushed as she feed you.

Obanai watched in adoration as he couldn't help but think about how good she is with kids (people in general)

"Cool." Such a shallow response that held back everything he actually wanted to say.

If only he could tell her. (😭)

-------

"What am I supposed to do with you." Sanemi muttered as you crawled all over your temporary bedroom (a small room he didn't know what to do with).

"what do you eat?" He kneeled down to your height. You crawled up to him, using his knees to try and stand.

He poked your stomach causing you to lose balance and fall. You stared up at him, He stared down at you.

you started to huff.

'oh no' the thought 'they're gonna cry'

and cry you did. You screamed your lungs out as he tried everything to calm you down. He even tried to feed you his blood, which only made you scream louder.

He got you to calm down by giving you Ohagi. Turns out you love it almost as much as he does.

------

"Time to go to bed Y/n." Giyuu said as he watched you play with your toys for like two hours.

You turned to him before giggling. Unfortunately for Giyuu, you knew how to run. You stood up and got ready for an unwanted game of tag and hide n seek.

"Don't even try, It's time for bed." Giyuu also got ready as this isn't the first time this happened.

In fact, this happens most nights and Giyuu is always the winner.

You ran out of the room with Giyuu close behind you. You rounded the corner at full speed. Too much speed. You hit the wall. Giyuu was quick to pick you up.

"This is why we don't run in the house." He comforted you by rubbing your head and bringing you to your room. You were asleep in his arms as he laid you down.

------

All Muichirou wanted to do was train but since you were assigned to him his attention was all on you.

Currently, the 2 of you were having a staring contest as you both ate. You copied his movements, and he would just watch.

You never cried, screamed, or made much noise. You and Muichirou got along great.

He brought you to every Hashira meeting and he let you do your own thing.

-----

"Bu" you called to Shinobu from the pin she put you in. It was the only word you could say.

She looked up from her work over to you. You were standing holding on to the bar of the pin.

"Ah someone finally awake." She set her work aside and went to check on you.

"Bu Bu" You squealed as she picked you up.

"I'm here. I'm here."

You were the only reason she never worked herself to death.

✿✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･**･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*ﾟ:*:✼✿