#are they calling me an empathetic kind hearted individual or are they calling me a pathetic sopping wet cat

[ri4naaa]

friend of mine said i reminded them of mob in an autistic way. said we had the same "aura". not sure what this means ????

[ivesambrose]

NOVEMBER 2024 MINI MESSAGES ❤️

1. 2. 3.

And we're in November and I feel everyone's a little overwhelmed, but I intend that you receive the guidance you need.

To book a personal reading with me DM or email me at ivesambrose@gmail.com

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Picture 1

You feel like you're struggling to make it up hill and maybe you're point blank exhausted, physically, mentally and emotionally. The theme of this month for you to lighten the burden you've been carrying in hopes that someone will lighten it. That someone is you. This month also calls for physical rest. I will admit there might be moments you'll feel like you have a bunch of stuff to sort out that do leave you feeling tired but trust that yourself to prioritise you. Take care of your back health some of you. You may also feel a bit emotionally distant or just plain bored or even be deep in contemplation as though you're missing something. However, I see a burst of new ideas, insights or information or clarity that lets you leave that apathetic energy you had been previously feeling, behind. It's as though out of the blue, the path clears. This month brings a positive transition which means you have to leave something behind. But what you do leave behind, won't be a loss. November ends on a more emotionally fulfulling month than it started on. Now whatever fulfills you emotionally, is innately personal to you. Trust that you'll have it and even if you can't right now, know that things will fall in place anyway.

Picture 2

Don't often say this, but it's truly your month if you're the 'I'll channel every emotion in me into getting everything done and becoming the best.' and even if you're someone who believes that slow and steady will win the race, it's still your month. You'll be working diligently into improving an aspect or multiple aspects of your life or just working hard towards your goals. By this I mean that you'll show up, you'll be consistent and you will improve. You've always been good at this now you'll be better and eventually great. Expect the rewards of your labour, especially financially. Be as ambitions as you wish to be instead of diluting yourself. If you can mentally the paint the picture then you can have it. Just make sure to not overwork and overwhelm yourself. You will be attracting influential individuals but also people who have an addictive or controlling personality, stay wary of those and keep your boundaries intact. Bit by bit, all your efforts, the dominant thoughts you have, what you say to yourself and others, what you share, what you consume etc all of it will add up. This month ends with you feeling like "A brand new person" and yes, I am referencing the Tame Impala song.

Picture 3

Oh you're fired up this month to the point even you're amused by it. Either it's a sudden burst of energy you'll feel or an opportunity that will be presented to you. You'll also be feeling excited, eager, curious and creative. Lot of planning, lot of risk taking, like you've decided to put your foot down on regards to something and you will be rather defensive of it because I'm seeing maybe some people might want to project their own ideas or limitations onto you or downplay your enthusiasm and determination. Don't let that get to you. In fact, do not overwhelm yourself this month since there is a risk of feeling burnt out. Try not to be too hot headed either and also avoid shopping as therapy (not too much, you can treat yourself though!) I do see there will be someone warm, kind and empathetic towards you. Extremely loving and understanding. Have the same energy towards yourself and those who care for you. Keep your heart a little open too. This month will end on you over coming a rather low point of your life is what I'm sensing. There's a feeling of isolation and defeat that you'll be overcoming and stepping into a version of you that's passionate and wants to experience life to their fullest.

[inkspiredwriting]

The Defense of the Hargreeves

Five Hargreeves x reader

A/N: Sir Reginald Hargreeves is an asshole. I just had to write a little story about it.

Warnings: None

Y/N had always heard stories about Sir Reginald Hargreeves, but she had never met the man. Today, however, fate had different plans. She found herself standing in the grandiose living room of the mansion, face to face with the infamous patriarch of the Hargreeves family.

Reginald's cold eyes assessed her with the same indifference he likely showed everyone. "You must be Y/N," he said, his tone devoid of warmth. "I've heard about you."

"Yes, sir," Y/N replied, trying to remain polite despite the chill in his demeanor. "It's nice to meet you."

Reginald ignored her attempt at pleasantries and launched into a critical monologue about his children. "You must understand, my 'children'—if one can even call them that—are highly flawed individuals. They lack discipline, focus, and a clear understanding of their purpose. Especially Number Five. A brilliant mind, wasted on trivial pursuits."

Y/N felt her blood begin to boil. "Excuse me, but I think you’re wrong," she interjected, her voice steady but firm.

Reginald's eyebrow arched slightly, the only indication that he was taken aback by her boldness. "Oh? And what insight do you believe you have that I, their father, do not?"

Y/N took a deep breath, determined to stand her ground. "Five and his siblings are wonderful people. They’ve faced more challenges and endured more pain than most people could imagine, all because of you. Despite everything, they’ve grown into strong, resilient, and compassionate individuals. They might have their flaws, but they are good people."

Reginald remained silent, his expression unreadable, as Y/N continued.

"Five is incredibly smart and resourceful. He’s saved the world more times than you probably know. Luther is strong and has a heart of gold. Diego is passionate and fiercely protective. Allison is kind and uses her powers to help others. Klaus is empathetic and more powerful than you realize. And Viktor, he’s brave and incredibly talented. They all stick together, no matter what. That’s something you should be proud of."

Her voice trembled slightly with emotion. "They are so much more than the sum of their powers or their mistakes. They are your children, and they deserve your pride and love, not your disdain."

Unbeknownst to Y/N, Five and his siblings had entered the room, drawn by the sound of her impassioned speech. They stood just outside the doorway, listening intently, their hearts swelling with gratitude and emotion.

Reginald’s face remained a mask of cold detachment, but something flickered in his eyes. "You seem quite convinced of their worth," he said slowly.

"I am," Y/N replied without hesitation. "Because I see the good in them every day. They are extraordinary, not just because of their abilities, but because of who they are as people. And if you can’t see that, then you’re the one who’s flawed."

For a moment, there was only silence. Then, Reginald nodded curtly. "I see. Well, you’re entitled to your opinion."

With that, he turned and walked away, leaving Y/N standing there, her heart pounding in her chest.

As soon as he was out of earshot, Five and his siblings rushed into the room, their expressions a mix of surprise and admiration.

"Y/N," Diego said, his voice soft with emotion, "that was... incredible."

"Yeah, you really told him," Klaus added, his usual cheeky demeanor giving way to genuine appreciation.

Luther placed a hand on Y/N’s shoulder. "Thank you. For standing up for us."

Y/N smiled, tears of relief and happiness in her eyes. "You all deserve to be seen for who you really are. I’m just glad I could help."

Viktor nodded, his eyes shining. "We’re lucky to have you with us, Y/N."

Five pulled Y/N into a tight embrace, his voice filled with gratitude. "I love you, Y/N. Thank you for defending us."

Y/N hugged him back, feeling the warmth and love of the family around her. "I love you too, Five. Always."

In that moment, surrounded by the people she had come to love and cherish, Y/N knew that they would always have each other. And that was something truly worth fighting for.

[cybrsan]

ATEEZ as Benders

Masterlist | A/N: A glimpse into each member and their roles in my upcoming ATLA-inspired, Wooyoung x reader fic for the second part of my title track series. Will most likely end up writing a fic for each member and turning this into a sub-series of its own. Let me know what you think! Edit: As of 11/11/23, this has been turned into a series. Check out the masterlist here.

Hongjoong

Element: Fire

Occupation: Diplomat, Strategist

Personality: Intense, strong-willed, passionate, loyal, creative, intelligent, charismatic

Fun Fact: Hongjoong, despite being young, has become one of the government officials with the best reputation. He is incredibly persuasive and cunning, and he uses his skills to enact the will of the people and do his best for the good of the Fire Nation. He has a lot of secret admirers, often finding chocolates and other gifts in his office, but don't mention that to him or he'll get shy.

Seonghwa

Element: Water

Occupation: Artisan

Personality: Sensitive, nurturing, perfectionist, reliable, open-minded, adaptable, empathetic

Fun Fact: Seonghwa is known to make some of the most beautiful carvings and jewelry in the entire Water Tribe. All benders, no matter what nation they're from, would love to own one of his pieces. But secretly, he loves to make toys for kids to play with and prefers that to his main job.

Yunho

Element: Air

Occupation: Acrobat

Personality: Jovial, spontaneous, free-spirited, romantic, kind, helpful

Fun Fact: Yunho often tours the four nations with his troupe, and his solo act has become a favorite amongst children and adults alike. What makes his routine even more impressive is that he has an incredible mastery over his bending, and performs without ever touching the ground. Incredibly charismatic and entrancing to watch, his performance will capture both your attention and your heart.

Yeosang

Element: Air

Occupation: Meditative Guide

Personality: Unique, endearing, positive, dreamy, free-spirited, peaceful

Fun Fact: People often find Yeosang to be in his own world, a step or two behind everyone else. It makes it hard to believe that he's one of the best meditative guides hailing from the Air Nomads, helping troubled souls find their inner peace through deep and intense focus. Truthfully, he's aware of everything that's going on but only likes to pay attention to the things that really matter to him.

San

Element: Fire

Occupation: Firebending Instructor, Tactician

Personality: Passionate, unpredictable, alluring, strong-willed, independent, principled

Fun Fact: San is one of the best firebenders in the nation, having mastered the technique of blue lightning. People would pay unspeakable amounts of money to be taught by him, but he only teaches those without the means to compensate him, dedicating his time to the underprivileged. He gives free classes at the orphanage his father runs, while he gets his money from the government, advising military leaders on the most effective ways to deploy firebenders and utilize their bending skills in combat.

Mingi

Element: Earth

Occupation: Architect

Personality: Patient, conciliatory, persistent, logical, diligent, complex, gentle

Fun Fact: Mingi loves creating things, but he also finds himself wanting to leave a positive impact on the people and environments around him. That's why, when designing any sort of structure, he taps into the vibrations of the earth, seeking its guidance to foster a harmonious connection between the building and its surroundings. He believes that humans and the earth can live together in harmony, strengthening and taking care of one another.

Wooyoung

Element: Water

Occupation: Healer

Personality: Enigmatic, sensitive, giving, comforting, loving, altruistic, committed

Fun Fact: Wooyoung has mastered a unique form of healing that he calls "Wavesong" where, through singing and dancing, he can project vibrations through water that promote healing within wounded individuals, allowing him to help not only their bodies but their minds. People believe this is because he is moon-blessed, a child born under the Siren Moon that only rises once every 88 years. Wooyoung lets them believe that, not wanting to reveal that his true "blessing" is having prophetic dreams that tend to get him in more trouble than they're worth.

Jongho

Element: Fire

Occupation: Ceremonial Performer

Personality: Courageous, idealistic, adventurous, passionate, independent, powerful, dynamic

Fun Fact: When Jongho isn't participating in a ceremony or ritual, he often busks on the streets of the capital, entertaining passersby for fun. If you manage to see him, either in an official or unofficial capacity, you should consider yourself lucky. Whether it's due to his bending or simply his natural talent, his voice seems to imbue the listener with a feeling of warmth and a nostalgic longing for home.

[insteading]

As someone who’s done bereavement care for almost 20 years, I’ve observed again and again and again that it is not staying with grief that cuts us off from other people, it’s suffocating grief and suppressing grief. It’s impossible to repress grief without also repressing all sorts of other things like joy and memory. Actually, expressing grief naturally connects us empathetically to other people. It is not an accident that right now when there is such a profound suppression of global grief, we’re also finding ourselves in a moment of such isolation.

Rabbi Elliot Kukla, in them magazine

I sought out this piece because Rabbi Kukla was quoted in today's sermon in reference to the ongoing genocide in Gaza ("It is lifesaving to mourn our humanity in inhumane times").

But this paragraph about grief hit me so hard I wanted to single it out to share. It is relevant to corporate grief of the sort we might experience when a state is doing harm in our name (police brutality, displacement, execution). It is also relevant to individual griefs.

In the bereavement calls I do for hospice, I have noticed, this is precisely what gets people stuck in grief: the feeling that there is no safe space and time to express grief. Companies tend to give very little accommodation for bereavement, if they give any at all. Culturally we're expected to get over losses in a matter of days. But grief rewires us, and some losses-- particularly losses like war, displacement, and police brutality where a state or institution does the same kind of harm repeatedly-- are complex and ongoing.

Grief impacts sleeping, eating, executive function. (I don't ask people in bereavement calls, "How are you doing?" I ask, "How are you sleeping?" "How's your appetite?" Maybe "Are there moments from your caregiving, or from your [loved one's] dying, that keep coming up for you?" Because of course you're not fine! You just lost someone essential to you. What I want to know is, is your body getting a chance to repair itself as your mind and heart process what you've experienced?)

People have talked to me after a loss about feeling exhausted and overwhelmed by daily life. It's not unlike recovering from a major injury and having a sizable portion of your bandwidth given over at all times to the tasks of bone, muscle, and nerve repair that are not under your conscious control. When tasks you're used to thinking of as having one part suddenly make it clear how complex they are? Cooking a meal takes more out of you. Doing a load of laundry takes more out of you. If you're already an introvert, the cost of social engagement goes up, at a time when social engagement might actually be very helpful.

Doing some of our grief work with other trusted people shares the load. It recovers some bandwidth. But many folks learn early in the grieving process that they have fewer trusted people than they thought. Or that it feels like the wrong time to deepen an acquaintanceship they'd hoped might become a friendship. Or that they aren't as comfortable asking loved ones for help as they thought they would be.

And the bereavement model I'm trained in assumes that a grieving person has experienced one recent loss. We know that a recent loss might poke us in the tender spots left by earlier losses. But that's still different from the experience of a tragedy that affects a whole community at once (as in an entire region's population losing multiple loved ones in a very short time and being forced to flee).

I don't really have a conclusion here, but I'm finding the activism that feels most healing and hope-filled to me has lament built into it: a chance to name the people who've died in our county's jail, while advocating for better communication with families of people inside. A chance to call out the names of people lost to covid while advocating for policies that will mitigate risk to vulnerable people.

Maybe it takes days to name all the people impacted by ongoing genocides in Congo, Palestine, Yemen, while urging our government to end its role in those genocides. Maybe our systems and structures, which aren't even good at honoring our grief for members of the nuclear family we're taught is our primary world, are disinclined to give us that time. Maybe we ought to take it anyway.

[deadindeathvalley]

Hey gen z

I really thought this generation was going to pull through and help us make change this time around. I'm a young millennial. I'm not even that much older than y'all. But it's evident that there's a huge problem. Obviously this is a generalization and not all gen z is like this, but we need to talk. Now read this whole thing before you react.

Last year it made my heart swell seeing all these young people rally around Palestine. I thought it meant our country was moving forward. But this election really showed that y'all don't care about anyone who doesn't align with your specific political beliefs.

You have a majority of young Gen z men voting for trump, this whole "your body my choice" trend, and the absolutely horrifically racist behavior I've seen on the internet. You also have a lot of trades wife pick me girls bringing back ED culture and throwing tantrums when they see a fat person existing.

Then you come over to the left and it's full of tankies and people insisting that Dems and GOP are exactly the same and there's no point in voting. They hate liberal women seemingly more than they hate conservatives and take anything they do as a personal offence. They poopoo on any efforts to organize and call anything that isn't violent "performative." They see that 53% of white women voted for trump (which is less than in 2020) and accuse every white woman of being a fake progressive who secretly voted for trump or of having a trump supporting boyfriend.

Gen z refuses to have nuanced conversations and insists on infighting and hating liberals whom they have more in common with than the actual enemy. They are evangelical in their beliefs on both sides. They won't listen to older activists who have experience because they're "out of touch." They lack social skills and empathy, and push away anyone who tries to find common ground.

Y'all are making me feel old with this behavior. I will always be a leftist in my beliefs but I want nothing to do with our community. It's toxic and cannibalistic. Y'all act like mean girls and force people to submit to you. It's wild. Meanwhile liberals are trying to find solidarity with their blue bracelets and their pink hats and trying to support each other. Maybe you think it's corny but at least they're doing SOMETHING besides rotting in their bed and bullying people on the internet.

A lot of you live in these leftist little echo chambers, whether that's physically or online. You put statistics theory and articles over real people's experiences and don't understand that the majority of the country isn't as far left as you. If you want leftist politicians and policies then you have to give people a reason to vote for your cause. Some people just aren't aware, and you bullying them for not aligning with you will not make them want to vote for your guy. You have to have GENUINE conversations with people which a lot of you seem incapable of.

I'm not saying other generations aren't problematic in their own way, but I've spent a lot of time in leftist gen z spaces and my mental health hit an all time low during that time. It was full of a bunch of miserable people hazing anyone that wasn't as miserable as them. It was full of people preaching theory like it was the bible and blocking anyone who tried to have a nuanced conversation. They call anyone with spiritual beliefs a grifter and a liar and use the world liberal like it's a slur.

I need y'all to get your shit together and learn to be empathetic EVEN towards people you perceive as more privileged than you. Gen Z has a real problem with dehumanization, and I know because I almost fell into that trap. Learn to be kind to strangers, care about people different than you, and dismantle your individualism and maybe we'll get somewhere as a country.

Until then I'll see anyone wearing a blue bracelet as someone who's trying. I see you. Let's build a community.

Love,

Your older sibling.

[telomeke]

EUGENE LEE YANG IS LEAVING THE TRY GUYS

Eugene talks about how he's currently too stretched creatively, and is leaving the Try Guys to focus on his other projects. (He has two films in production, as well as a queer fantasy novel and a graphic novel in the works.) His departure does not appear to be happening with any rancor, but what he says about the difficulty in keeping up a public, onscreen persona is also very heartfelt and moving. Nonetheless, he's also kept the door open for guest spots with the Try Guys in the future. And he's only leaving after the current season, so we can still catch him in Try Guy videos for now.

Full transcript of the audio follows, if you'd like to speed read through:

- [Rachel] You ready? (Eugene sighs) - Dear friends, well, it's my time. I've wanted to have this heart to heart with y'all for quite a while now. It is with immense gratitude and unconditional love for Zach, Keith, our partners, our staff, and all of you who have supported us that I'm announcing my official departure from The Try Guys. After 10 profoundly impactful years, my time here on YouTube has come to an end. There's no version of this announcement in which I can properly express how emotional this moment is for me, how hard it is to close such a meaningful chapter of my life. But in the spirit of so much of my digital work, I'm gonna give it one last try.

I want to preface this by giving my heartfelt thanks to Zach and Keith, my bespectacled baby brothers, my tall and tiny nerd. I have no idea how we ended up on this wild journey together, but I couldn't have asked for better, smarter, weirder, funnier, and above all kinder individuals to have ridden alongside. It's been a great irreplicable honor that I will always treasure. And though our time in viral videos may be over, our friendship is forever. Even if I'll hate it when your spawn call me Guncle in the future, I shall train to become the best goddamn gay uncle in recorded human history.

Keith, you are such a shining light, truly the most physically gorgeous specimen alive with those long legs and huge mouth. After today, you are undeniably the hottest Try Guy. Zach, you're an absolute rock star. Every opinion you have is 100% correct, and I want to proclaim on record that I am the Letty Ortiz to your Dom... Guys, come on. I'm not saying all of this. - No, this is so much better than I ever imagined. Keep going, keep going. - Yes, the more emotional you get, the more everyone's gonna be okay with it. - Can you cry on cue? That would be so good for this. - Oh my gosh. Crying in the thumbnail. That'd be tits! Give it to us! (everyone laughs) - Rachel, will you please make them stop? - Yeah, you can't do this. It's a sincere video. You can't make him fake cry. - Okay. - Make him take off his shirt so we can objectify him one more time. - You being naked would be tits! (Zach laughs) - If y'all are gonna keep doing this, then just come over here and join me in presenting a few points. - Okay. So should we do the whole three guys one couch? - Absolutely not. - Dang. - Kind of invented the couch, but, okay, whatever.

- That being said, the three of us have always held a mutual, empathetic understanding about when the right time was for me to take a bow. - Some of you may have seen this coming for a while, as Eugene's schedule has gotten busier over the past few years. We thank you for your patience regarding a formal clarification. We wish we could have told you sooner, but certain circumstances outside of our control kind of challenged the three of us to come together in solidarity, and I'm very glad that we did. - Me too. So I'd like to reiterate, in case anyone misinterprets this as some kind of interpersonal ill will, that this is the furthest thing from drama. We have been through the worst version of that together. And all of my decisions have been made in consideration of what we built. And these two will always have my undying support, even if it happens to be from afar. - As you've witnessed with other notable goodbyes this year, there's a myriad of motivations for YouTubers to step away. Some are retiring, others are burnt out. Many have issues with the platform itself, as you've heard us talk about before. But again, our shows, they're not leaving YouTube at all. - Yeah, we're staying. I mean, he's leaving. - He's leaving. - I'm leaving. They're staying. But it's still a very personal decision for me, which I'll expand on later in this video. Rest assured the three of us have been discussing and planning these major changes together for a very long time now. - Of course, there's really no perfect time for this. This was always gonna be bittersweet, and we know that. We agreed though that now makes the most sense considering all the exciting new things that are happening at the company and in our lives. - Speaking of which, I just wanna say that I'm so, so, so proud of these two and our staff for your vision. Did I just elbow your stomachs? - Yeah, elbowed my belly. - I'm trying to express affection. - It was good. - You're almost there. - What do I do instead? If I go down... - If you go down it will be less affectionate or more affectionate, depending on the type of affection you like to give. - You were telling us how proud you are. - I was. Okay. Speaking of which, I am so, so proud of these two and our staff for your vision and hard work for the next era of 2nd Try. Now one of our long-term goals has always been to use the privilege of our platform to expand into a wider cast of diverse voices. - So we like to think that we're not really losing Eugene, but we're gaining so many more perspectives that deserve the opportunity to shine. However, we cannot let Eugene go without filming one last season of classic Try Guys videos. - And you can watch those episodes starting tonight at 2ndtry.tv. They're also gonna be here available on YouTube for free at a later time. Either way, I'm gonna miss you, buddy. - Yeah, 'cause, you know, we love you. - Oh. I love you all too. Come here. Come here. - Okay. - Come here. - Let's go for it. - This is a real one. - This is nice. - All right, now, if you would be so kind, I'd like to spend my last moments here with our beautiful, incredible audience. - Makes sense. - Cool. - [Zach] Okay. - I... (Keith and Zach giggle) - [Keith] Wee! - [Zach] Woo! Where do you wanna get lunch? - I'm the one leaving. This doesn't make sense. - [Zach] Oh, it's so bright. - [Keith] Oh my god. - It's fine. Okay. I'll wait till their bit's done. How are they gonna get back inside?

I want to be fully transparent about my reasons for leaving YouTube. And some of these have been difficult for me to find the confidence to express, but y'all deserve a comprehensive explanation. Well, first, in regards to my time, which is the primary issue we've cited, yes, I have become enormously inundated with work. I'm the busiest I've ever been in my entire life, and I'm so, so thankful to be committing my blood, sweat, and tears into projects that mean the world to me. Projects that have been in rigorous development for many years, which I'll elaborate more on in a bit. Now, as you know, once they required my undivided attention, I couldn't appear as often as I used to in videos. And it hasn't gone unnoticed how much my gradual withdrawal has upset some of you. And I am truly sorry for that. To express this as simply as possible, working full-time here became untenable, and it's evident that I can't continue keeping one foot in. So this amorphous arrangement where people end up asking the very fair question, "Is Eugene even a Try Guy anymore?" that will only disappoint all parties involved, especially you, the viewers who have stood by us. So for clarity's sake, we've decided to establish a clean break because clean breaks are ultimately better for the healing process. And I sincerely hope to guest star in future videos, and I don't wanna risk them being tainted by any embitterment. I want us to collectively look forward to those reunions with joy.

Now onto what I've been working on. My primary passions are writing and directing in the film and literary spaces. And my focus has always been on fiction, behind the camera and the pen. And that has never changed. And to hope to achieve any success in those spaces, gosh, it requires a lifetime of commitment. And first, my feature film. I've been writing and developing what will be my directorial debut for some time now. And we are in the active stage of packaging, and I am thrilled to be bringing it to life. The incomparable creatives at Killer Films believed in my script and have been working tirelessly with me for the past few years to get to this critical point. And I can't share more yet, but believe me when I say that it is the unbridled expression of my soul, and I have never been more determined and inspired. Now if you're unfamiliar with the industry, it's an exceedingly rare and blessed opportunity to be able to, one, get a movie produced at all, and two, gain the trust of others as a filmmaker. It requires 110% of my investment, both physically and emotionally. And I'm finally at a place in my journey as an artist to tackle this with unwavering conviction in my vision. And on top of that, the same can be applied to the literary world. I hold tremendous reverence for the writing process and am committed to proving myself as an author. So many aren't afforded this extraordinary opportunity, and I really don't want to squander it. As some of you know, I've been hard at work writing my novel, which is the first in an epic queer fantasy duology with the brilliant folks over at Macmillan and Feiwel & Friends. Due to certain unforeseen circumstances, we've had to push the release date. So you can expect it to be available next year in 2025, and I cannot wait for you to read it. Separately, I've also been writing my first graphic novel with Vault Comics, a twisted horror fantasy musical titled "Buckaroo". And you can expect more news about that and many other developments I can't mention yet in the very near future. My devotion is to creating original stories that will fundamentally thrive in other mediums.

This all brings me to a crucial message that I humbly want to emphasize. While yes, these projects are time consuming, I haven't necessarily prioritized them because I view the digital space as somehow beneath them. No, no. I have worked here online proudly for a decade and will always champion how profound and spectacular this medium can be. But after this past decade of work, of being invited into your homes, of having the privilege of getting to know so many of you, I've come to terms with the fact that this simply isn't the right space for me. The internet can be a fun, rewarding, fantastic place where many creatives shine, including my colleagues who are so, so talented at what they do. In truth, more often than not, I've experienced the opposite effect and leaving will be the best decision for preserving my mental health.

Now it makes me wildly uncomfortable to divulge all of this as I don't want to come off like I'm complaining. I can never stop repeating how deeply fortunate and thankful I am to have ever, ever been on this platform. But I'm going to try to open up as eloquently as possible because I really do care about all of you watching who might have come to care about me. I was always a private person, which has continually been at odds with the demands of being an online personality. Relatability, vulnerability, accessibility, all keywords you're familiar with about what makes a great YouTuber. Unfortunately, these weren't second nature to me, even though I tried my best. I really tried. I already contend with a complex relationship with my identities, so to have to casually discuss and publicize them at length, often in a positive and humorous manner, was exceptionally tough. This is an unscripted comedy channel after all, and that is why I removed myself completely from podcasting. I was trying to find ways to set boundaries and protect myself. But as someone who heavily saturated your screens for so many years, it might have come off as me growing distant and disinterested.

And if you have ever felt that way and if my colleagues have ever felt that way, then please know that that was never ever my intention. In all honesty, I was enduring more anguish, especially after involuntarily going viral for something so agonizing and demoralizing. Demand for my openness only grew. Strangers have been quick to tell me that I owe them my feelings and that I owe them my time to appear in content and that it's all just part of the job. Now contrary to the brave face I try to put on, I've always been profoundly aware of others' expectations. And if I'm unable to satisfy those expectations while staying true to myself, then maybe it's just not right. And many of you watching have probably experienced something similar in your own lives, that poignant moment when you know deep down that it's time for a change. Even if it hurts and even if it's hard, you know what? That change can be wonderful for everyone involved. And that is why I know that this simply isn't the right space for me and that that should be okay. I sincerely hope that it will be okay for all of you. And how I best express myself has been through narrative projects and ones that I can be fully immersed in, ones that can be guarded and intentional, long-term and precious, because that's where I'm most comfortable and energized, when I'm translating my identity, cultures, family history, and demons into work that can be dark and radical and strange and provocative. And while I also have made so, so many memories here that I'll always cherish, in the end, I can't stay. I wish I could be better at all of this for you and for my friends here at 2nd Try. I wish I found an alternative way to make this work because many YouTubers manage to flourish while protecting their peace. But the best, brightest version of myself is the me that can disappear behind my work, and that should be okay.

I chalk some of that up to how I've always had to navigate my privacy and presentation, which tends to be an integral part of the queer experience. It's why I've always relished experimenting with fashion as it's a way for me to transform into an alternate higher version of myself that's dazzling and powerful and self-possessed. You witnessed me learning how to paint my fantasies through clothing in real time. I bring this up because I don't want the summary of my issues to diminish the countless occasions where I have genuinely felt growth, connection, and happiness. A vital aspect of my time with y'all online was my coming out journey. That was undeniably raw and real. And I have grown so much louder and prouder about such a controlled, buried part of myself that was largely due to how emboldened I became because of so many of you out there, and I am eternally grateful for that.

I've also become uncompromisingly secure and appreciative of my representing of Asianness, of my Asianness. So much of that is thanks to the climate I was incredibly lucky to be a part of online where we carved out spaces to show more multifaceted, nuanced aspects of our unique backgrounds. To even be considered a voice in our community is an honor I hold dear every waking moment because I was someone who had always felt so voiceless before.

Fuck! I'm not supposed to cry. Overall, I've undergone an invaluable kind of education that could only happen through social media. It's inspired me to champion progressive values even when the world tries to stamp them out. I fully embrace the power of activism, and I'm more dedicated than ever to lead projects that explore and employ underrepresented talent. My time here with you has helped shape those principles, and I aim to never ever lose that energy. And although I've confessed the more stressful facets of my 10 years on YouTube, if I ever happened to make you smile or laugh or cry, then please know that you were instrumental in keeping me going 'cause you inspired me. Because regardless of the platform, to be able to share essential parts of myself, to garner an emotional response, and to have a spirited discourse, all of that qualifies as art. It constituted a meaningful relationship between us. And it ended up making me learn how to smile and laugh and cry too. And you, my dear friends, have my profound thanks for the opportunity and privilege to have been a part of your lives. Thank you, thank you, thank you. In conclusion, I want you to take away this one incontrovertible truth. You, all of the fans, and everyone here at 2nd Try could never be the reason I left because you were all the reason I stayed. Well, that's it. I hope y'all enjoy my final season of videos ahead, but this is my official sign off from the internet for the last time as a Try Guy. And as a guy who still has much to try, I know we'll meet again. Love, Eugene.

- That's a cut and that's a wrap on Eugene Lee Yang. (everyone applauds) Wait. Come hug him. - No! - [Rachel] Yes! - [Keith] We did. - No. - We didn't order you a lunch though. Are you cool with that? - One last time. - Taco salad. - Congrats. - I love you all. Now just the hugs to the camera. (everyone laughs) - [Rachel] Miss you most of all. - [Eugene] I'll miss you most of all.

[ask-caine]

Hello, sweet-tooth!!

I thought I’d drop in just to say that you are doing a phenomenal job at managing the circus and its residents! We are all so incredibly lucky to have you as our leader; an insightful, honourable and empathetic man with a healthy sense of humour and strong morals. These are all admirable traits that equate to a being an outstanding leader, and outstanding you are, my shining star!

I know that, as your wife, my words may not be as impactful. It is expected of me to be this encouraging and supportive individual… but, even before we became us, I was still right behind you, silently supporting you from the guidelines. I could never simply not support you, Caine.

You have been nothing but exceptionally kind to each and every human who passes through this digital realm of ours, well— except for maybe that one instance, but that wasn’t entirely undeserved, either. Either way, I digress, point being that your actions are not going unnoticed, my love, quite the opposite in fact! I am ever so glad to be able to be your side, to be your assistant, to call you my husband. Thank you for all of the wonderful opportunities you have given me as of this far, Caine. Thank you for keeping me around and supporting me through all that I have been through. You and Sun have been nothing short of wonderful to me during this past short while, so I decided it is high time I attempt to formulate my words in order to encapsulate the true depth of my gratitude!

In summary; I love you, Caine, my sugary sweet tooth~. I love our family. I love being able to assist you in any way that I can. You can always call upon me, and I know I can always call upon you… that’s what makes us such a great and loving duo, right? Like Bonnie and Clyde? Wait— would mentioning them be a breach of the ToS…?

Oh... Thank you, Moon... It really means a lot to me to hear all of that.

You really do treat me so well, my love. I'm so lucky to have won you over. You really do complete me, honeymoon. You're the apple of my eye, so to speak. Your every smile brings me so much joy...!

Your words are still just as impactful as the day we first found each other. Perhaps moreso, because out of everyone in the Circus, you're the one who knows me best.

I do my best to be the best ringmaster I can, for you and for everyone else here. It makes me very glad to know that my efforts have been so successful. Thank you, darling, for choosing me and letting me be a part of your life. Thank you for loving me so incredibly much despite all my imperfections. Thank you for being here by my side through everything we've been through, even when it's been hard for us both. Thank you for being so understanding, and for wanting me to be the one to go through everything with. Thank you. With all my heart, thank you.

I love you more than anything, my sweet, gorgeous angel... I love that you let me take care of you as best I can. I'm glad to be a pillar of support for you, and that you're so willing to provide the same for me. Our love is certainly just as unstoppable as those two feared outlaws! ...Which shouldn't breach the ToS, as far as I'm aware? Not that it really would matter anyway.

[via-l0ve]

Hay there B) I'm interested in the silly lil 🎃 :D

Fandom Supernatural, of course! Don't be afraid to pair me up with someone who doesn't get as much traction or isn't the main two (of course, if I don't get one of the main two). :)

I'm an avid enjoyer of everything spooky and scary and hunting would definitely be something I'd do if I were in the SPN universe. I feel the loner but necessary alliances type, but I wouldn't be one to get too attached unless I felt a serious spark. Not against working with the same individual more than once, either.

I personally like to imagine my own self-insert as some "earth angel" or spiritually in-tune young woman who can read auras, emotions, feel what one feels, etc etc. I'm what others would call an empath irl (not in the super trippy spiritual way if thats what you don't believe in), I'm just super compassionate and empathetic. I don't know if that part's important, but as rough and violent as I can be (when need be), I'm all for peace and tranquility within one another. I'd always try to solve any tension rather than make it worse. I keep quiet, reserved and to myself unless someone I care about is hurt and needs someone, or if someone tries to start bs with me. I was always that mother friend.

My anger and my envy I experience typically come from not really having a normal childhood even in real life. I never got to experience high school dances, dates, or hell even an irl high school to begin with. Just homeschooling, barely even any real irl friends or social cues. I envy everyone who gets anything and everything they've ever wanted.

My taste in overall men (and women) can be kind of unstable. I'll love the hero, but I'll also fall hard for the villain. My red flag is I think I can ease the villain's heart. No matter how clingy, or obsessive, or dickish they are. I'm also kind of obsessed (shhhh don't tell anyone...)

My hair is long, wavy and dirty blonde. My eyes are kind of sad, down turned like Blue Diamond's from SU. I like to dress in many different styles, if I'm feeling it but typically I go for something simple. Long, flowy skirts, blazers, t-shirts, flannels. If I'm feeling nice, a pretty white dress with pearl headbands. Or I'll try to look like a school girl coming home from a long, tiring day from dealing with her bitchy teachers and even bitchier classmates. Either light or dark, it depends on the mood. I'm also Christian.

I'm obsessed with true crime, demonology, mythology, and other spooky stuffs. I also enjoy writing, reading fanfics/novels, the occasional sketching and drawing, and I also wanna look into making custom dolls. I've looked into white magic before, attempted it a few times in the past. I'm a huge music fanatic, all genres (yes, even country...), but I typically listen to shoegaze, noise, metal, rock, and goregrind. Anything with screaming, distorted vocals, distorted/soft guitar, or no vocals at all, basically. (Examples being Duster, Deftones, Ghostemane, Giles Corey, Have A Nice Life, In This Moment, Birthday Massacre, etc)

I'm into some pretty dark shows and movies. I'm not in many fandoms, I don't see my own SPN self in many either, but I've seen a fair share of fucked up films. A Serbian Film, Dog Tooth, Lolita, The Handmaid's Tale (mainly the show), Miss Violence -- I watch them for comfort from my own trauma, and I see myself doing the exact same thing in SPN. My twisted past with ex boyfriends and abusive family members are probably what's gotten me head over heels, reeling over villainous characters that could snap me in half if they wanted.

I just want to be loved.

Anyways, I hope that's enough for you! I kind of overshared, but I hope it's alright! TL;DR I just want someone, anyone to love me for who I am and enjoy some of my hobbies. Take all the time you need, I understand your box might be full as hell.

first of all i love you so much and you absolutely deserve to be loved and worshipped because you’re beautiful and worthy of love and acceptance and care <3 (if you ever want to talk more my inbox is always open)

with that being said:

i ship you with cas :)

i know you said to not be shy to ship you with someone who isn’t the orig/main few, but i got heavy castiel vibes from you <3333

i think that he’s be drawn into your quiet but badass energy. how you want to diffuse traumas or tension before it even happens, but he also sees you on hunts as such a badass demon killing person. he also finds it fascinating how empathetic you are.

he loves all of your hobbies and often will sit next to you while you write or read. when you mention custom dolls he will freak out and absolutely ADORES watching the process.

he thinks you’re gorgeous. your blue eyes match his and your hair mesmerized him.

i also think that you guys can bond over traumas. while you have childhood based and family/ex-lover trauma, castiel definitely holds some trauma in thinking he’s not good enough or things from the other angels in heaven.

you guys balance eachother out. you teach him so much and you guys have the cutest little dates, the type to be up until 4am having deep conversations.

castiel also isn’t a rat and you deserve someone who isn’t a rat <33

[mvyhvms]

𝙸𝙽𝚃𝚁𝙾𝙳𝚄𝙲𝙸𝙽𝙶 … 𝙖𝙞𝙮𝙨𝙝𝙖 𝙗𝙚𝙙𝙞 , the governess of denmark.

( simone ashley, cis-female, she/her, 27 ) ** ♔ announcing AIYSHA BEDI,  the GOVERNESS from DENMARK ! upon closer look, they resemble SIMONE ASHLEY. it is a miracle that SHE survived the last five years and for that reason, they are FOR the kingdoms working together. reflecting on them now, they remind me of CHALK DUST COATING HER HANDS AND DRESSES, A NEVER ENDING REVOLVING COLLECTION OF LITERATURE IN HER HANDS, HAIR THE COLOUR OF DARKNESS & GLISTENING JEWELS HOLDING HER HAIR IN AN UPDO. 

𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙨

full name : aiysha bedi . nickname/s : none . pronouns : she / her . age : twenty - seven . birthday : september 10 . star sign : virgo . title : governess . home country : denmark . family : unknown father, priyanka bedi ( mother ), unnamed younger sister ( wanted connection ). character inspiration : hermione granger ( harry potter ), nancy wheeler ( stranger things ), peggy carter ( mcu ).

𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠𝙜𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙙

growing up , aiysha never knew who her biological father was . all her mother would tell her was that he had been the love of her life but he had to leave them , never to return . she was raised by her mother , believing the story that her mother told her until her sister came along .

as aiysha grew older , she realised that the story her mother held onto was one of delusion , one that she had spun to keep aiysha off the trail . her father had never loved her mother . he had , instead , fed her beautiful lies to have her fall into his bed night after night . from a young age , she swore she would never allow another to have that kind of power over her .

aiysha has always been a lover of learning , of literature , of history , etc . she would spend hours upon hours with her nose firmly pressed within the pages of any book she could find . she even taught herself and her younger sister how to read and write while their mother was absent , working .

despite still being a child , she took on a maternal role in her younger sister's life , making sure that she was well cared for and had a decent enough education , with aiysha teaching . it was then that she realised she wanted to teach others when she was older . when aiysha was fourteen , her mother passed from an illness , leaving her to become a guardian to her younger sister .

throughout her childhood and teenage years , she kept topping up her knowledge by reading and learning about life around her . aiysha had always been a highly intelligent and logical individual . she relies heavily on her mind and logic compared to emotions and her heart ; though , she can be quite compassionate and empathetic when the situation calls for it .

during the plague , aiysha counted herself and the people she cared about lucky as they survived the disease . it made her realise how short life is and to make the most of what time she has on this earth .

the last six years aiysha has been working as the governess / tutor to the royal danish children . she is extremely fond of them and always ensures that their needs and wants are met and that they are receiving a high class education . she has travelled to portugal with the children .

[cinderella-ish]

Fruits Basket Personality Types Part 23: The Hondas

As we get to some of the less central characters in Fruits Basket, I won't be writing out as much detail on why I see them the way I do.

Kyoko Honda

It feels strange to call Kyoko one of the less central characters, because she is kind of at the center of Tohru's arc (and therefore all of Fruits Basket). She also plays a part in Yuki, Kyo, Arisa, and Saki's stories, and she comes up again and again.

Anyway, I see Kyoko as an Enneagram SX 8w7, the Challenger/the Maverick. Haru is a SX 8, and Rin and Arisa are both 8w7.

I see her Tritype as 2-7-8, the Free Spirit. Since she's the first 2-7-8 in this series, here's the description from Katherine Fauvre's website:

If you are a 278, you are caring, innovative and protective. You want to be helpful, loving, and straightforward. You are independent and assertive with a heart of gold. You have a ready smile, a rapier wit, and a twinkle in your eye. You are fun-loving and enjoy people and adventures, nurturing those in your circle of care. You use your charming disposition to create an upbeat, positive, and action-packed environment. You follow your own muse but enjoy the attention and energy of a group of your choosing.

Surprisingly, I see her MBTI as ENFJ (the Teacher - same as me!). Since she's the first ENFJ in this series, here's the description from The Myers & Briggs Foundation:

Warm, empathetic, responsive, and responsible. Highly attuned to the emotions, needs, and motivations of others. Find potential in everyone, want to help others fulfill their potential. May act as catalysts for individual and group growth. Loyal, responsive to praise and criticism. Sociable, facilitate others in a group, and provide inspiring leadership.

Grandpa Honda

I see Grandpa Honda as an Enneagram SX 9w1. This is exactly the same as Tohru!

I see his Tritype as 3-7-9, The Ambassador. Since he's the first Ambassador Tritype, here's the description from Katherine Fauvre's website:

If you are a 379, you are ambitious, innovative, and accepting. You want to be focused, upbeat, and peaceful. You are outgoing even if you are shy. You seek companionship, so naturally, include others in your circle. Your friendly, welcoming, and diplomatic approach provides a warm and pleasant atmosphere that fosters a sense of goodwill. Secretly, you avoid complications, preferring to stay with pleasantries. You strive for success and a feeling of personal importance.

I think his MBTI is INFJ (same as Yuki).

Katsuya Honda

Katsuya is very clearly an Enneagram SO 9w8, the Peacemaker/the Referee. Saki is also a 9w8.

Since he is the first SO 9, here is the description from Enneagram Explained:

SO 9s are the Countertype of type 9 as they react in an opposite way with their vice (sloth). These fun-loving 9s can become workaholics as they put the needs of the group above their own.

"Sloth" in the Enneagram refers to a slowness to do necessary internal work.

I think his Tritype is 3-5-9, the Thinker. Machi is also a 3-5-9.

I see his MBTI as INTP, the Logician. Shigure is also INTP.

In summary:

Kyoko Honda

Enneagram SX 8w7

Tritype 278

MBTI ENFJ

Grandpa Honda

Enneagram SX 9w1

Tritype 379

MBTI INFJ

Katsuya Honda

Enneagram SO 9w8

Tritype 359

MBTI INTP

Fruits Basket Personality Types: Enneagram | MBTI | Tohru | Akito | Kyo | Yuki | Haru | Kisa | Momiji | Hatori | Ayame | Rin | Hiro | Ritsu | Kureno | Shigure | Kagura | Kazuma | Saki | Arisa | Machi | Kakeru | Kaibara Students

[sophiemariepl]

I can only partly agree.

I think that way too many people forget that Coriolanus barely had any normal example of unconditional love in his life (unlike Lucy Gray, who mostly had genuine people around her in the form of the Troupe).

Like, yeah, many people point to Tigris here, and they are not wrong, at least partly. Tigris definitely was an empathetic, kind-hearted person around Coryo, but the rest people around him - no.

In the words of an acquaintance, even Grandma’am, so the only adult that basically raised Coryo, treats him less like a human being and more like a human doing. He is loved by her because of his achievements and of what he can do for the family - not because he is her grandson in the first place. Like, think even about the first scene in the book (and in the movie) when Grandma’am appears in person. She immediately calls him “the future president of Panem”. Like, doesn’t it tell you something about how this woman’s expectations and parenting style towards her grandchildren (and possibly her children before him)?

That clearly shows that even though they did not have much interaction, these expectations cast a huge shadow on young Coriolanus. Grandma’am was, in a sense, an authority in this household, everything remaining of connection that he had to his dead parents. She largely molded him into a boy who does not think of himself as an individual with his own aspirations, dreams, and plans, but as an inheritor of the Snow dynasty that needs to be re-established to its former high status.

(I believe that there is also a gender aspect to this situation because not much of such pressure is put on Tigris, even though she is also an heir of the Snow name - but since she is a young woman, by Panem standards she still cannot potentially pass down the Snow name and legacy. Ergo, Grandma’am centers her aspirations on her grandson, instead of her granddaughter. That’s also why Tigris is freer to follow her dreams of becoming a fashion designer.)

Also, speaking of pressure and lack of a safe environment, I think that we also need to speak of the Academy and how the elitist school environment had shaped the way Coriolanus views relationships in general. That is, has anyone ever realized that there are almost no normal friendships in there? That everyone is competing for grades, achievements, positions, and appreciation from teachers?

Like, sure, theoretically every school environment there is some form of competition, but everyone who has ever been in a so-called “elite” school, knows what I’m talking about. These places do not teach you to have normal, secure relationships, they teach you to play games, use people to your own advantage, and to constantly watch your back, because every small misstep can make you loose all the social points you have achieved so far.

Of course, I know that I haven't managed to speak of all the details (gosh, I love how detailed TBoSaS is). But knowing at least the things I mentioned, I’m wondering how can anyone not see that Coriolanus’s environment made him live in a constant state of stress and fear, which contributed to him developing an insecure attachment style (of which he is an extremely hard case, I would argue)?

When you are a person who lives in constant stress and fear for their situation (be that economic or something else, in the case of Coriolanus it was mostly economic standing + political position of his family), and under incredible pressure from their family to achieve, their mind will search for a position/place/opportunity that can give them a sense of safety. And very often this supposed safety is found in positions of power. Of course, the trick here is that safety in the position of power has to be constantly maintained and mentally you don’t leave your old feelings of terror pretty much - but people who developed an insecure attachment style very often don’t see that. Trust me, been there, done that.

So in the end, I would argue that Coriolanus did not “love power” per se - he wanted to achieve a sense of safety, security, and order, and he believed that the only way to achieve these things was through getting into a position of power.

This, of course, does not justify him and should not serve for anyone to justify him. But it shows how his thinking mechanism developed.

Now compare that to Lucy Gray who despite also being a war orphan, living in poverty, etc. still had many loving people around her who reassured her that a sense of safety is something that can be achieved without money, power, or achievements. See the difference?

People who think Coriolanus didn’t love Lucy Gray need to realise that love doesn’t have to be *pure* to be true. Love can be toxic and complicated and messy. Using his own words, love can destroy you. His love for her wasn’t pure and perfect but it was true. In the end he just loved himself and power more. You don’t spend 60+ years being haunted by someone you didn’t genuinely love. You also don’t marry someone you hate so that love can never make you feel weakness again….

[nobodyknowsraina]

03/09/23

so it's been a while, but i'm not even going to write like anyone will ever see this. or whatever. I just need somewhere to put it all down.

am i depriving myself of a life that could be much more fulfilling to me by attaching to a boy again? are my lovergirl tendencies what will hold me back for the rest of my life? bitch when you fall in love, you fall. why is that though? is it because you want to feel needed? is it beacuse you like being a sidekick? you want one person to hold close to you that you can cheerlead and feel good about? i truly think i was born as someone who loves to shower others with love...but i also have this other side of me that is so independent , so.... in love with her solitude. cherishes her individuality. this duality confuses me. it seems simple... live IN love (body, mind, spirit) and fiercly follow your passions (lean into my independence) but ...... this time is so different

i can't even pretend this time is anywhere close to my past situations. i mean...aaron truly fell from somewhere right in front of me and in a matter of seconds, started charming me like none other. i've always missed one specific thing from my past lovers, and it was the intellect. this man doesn't just have intellect....to call it 'intellect' is such an understatement. this man just walks around with a never-ending well of wisdom inside of him and has no desire whatsoever to prove that to anyone. if you know, you know. if you take the time to find out, and if you are intrigued, and if you stay long enough, and if you are wise yourself, only then will you be able to experience this magic i speak of.

isn't it so ironically funny that this is the number one quality about him that makes me swoon? not his wisdom, but his total lack of ego accompanying this wisdom.

it's a rare and beautiful thing no doubt. along with this, he is also tremendously kind, has genuine compassion for all plants and animals, he loves to take care of me, he is witty and charming and painstakingly funny– the type of humor that makes me realize that nobody else has ever really been funny, the type of humor that good comedians are able to practice– shit that is so sad but so funny, eventually just leading to the silly irony of existence as a whole.

his lack of ambition is not the typical kind. it's the kind that exists because he refuses to partake in the evil facade and illusion of capitalism. how can i do anything but respect that? i actually don't respect myself for not having the courage to say fuck you to the system in such a real ass way.

i love him. it's not a lie i'm telling myself. i used to do that, but not anymore. i will be honest though. things are getting hard. i always make things hard for myself, even with nobody else in the picture– my anxiety is at an all time high as far as fear of rejection and artistic/creative paralysis. i'm tired and stressed often. i feel empty a lot of days. i feel alone and isolated from community. i have no real friends, girl friends that i can hang out with and feel nourished afterwards. but okay, i can figure that all out with a little discipline and self love. as far as aaron's addiction, his child, his baby mama, and his financial irresponsibility.... it's taking a toll on me.

I don't have to list out the heinous actions that he has taken towards me in a drug-induced state. it's extremely heart-breaking to think about, and it's even more heart-breaking that he genuinely feels remorseful and is struggling with a mental and genetic disorder that has a tight grip on him. maybe I just need to get him the help he needs and take some time for just myself.

there are a lot of people going through the same shit. this is my story though. i'm always living primarily for someone else, i feel. half-assing anything i do for myself and my own life.

i don't have the answers though. even when i think about it, and when i write about it– there are two approaches. an empathetic perspective, and a hyper-independent perspective.

this duality of lovergirl vs. badass follow your dreams travelling videographer girl will be the death of me

i so want both to exist in the same universe, at the same time , but i don't know if that's possible?

[wolken-himmel]

In which Neige finds (Y/n) weeping alone in the forest and attempts to cheer her up with a little poem.

Yet, (Y/n) seems reluctant about talking with him after finding out who he truly is, or rather, which school he attends.

Request by anon.

Birds were chirping in the distance and the sun was slowly sinking from the horizon when Neige strolled through the forest, unaware how far he had ventured from the beautiful coasts of Royal Sword Academy already. The bridge he had crossed to leave the school seemed long gone, and there was no sign of a coast where he was now — instead, he found himself venturing through a dense forest.

There was a happy skip to his step, which wasn't anything unusual; Neige was known for being such a carefree and lively individual, after all. With a basket slung over his arm, he gracefully moved through the forest and kept his eyes wide open for beautiful flowers that he could bring back to show off to his seven friends.

Finally, upon having found a small yet serene clearing not too far away from where he stood, he laid eyes on a blue and fragile flower blooming by his feet. The black-haired teen knelt down and patted the flower's small petals with his fingers. "Hm... would Timmy like this flower? Or maybe I should get him another one..." he mumbled to himself as he unsurely played with its little leaves. Yet, he was snapped out of his trance when his ears took up the sound of something akin to sobbing. He furrowed his eyebrows immediately. "Oh? Is that... someone crying?"

His interest immediately caught, he turned away from the flower and rose to his feet again. He almost seemed mesmerised as he ventured closer to the curious sound of someone weeping their heart out within the clearing. Soon, he saw strands of (H/c) hair shrouded behind the bush he was hiding behind.

You sat slouched over on a tree stump with your grimacing face buried in your trembling hands. Neige watched with empathetic eyes as your body seemed to be shaking heavily — out of sadness or anger, he couldn't find out. When you removed your hands to pitifully wipe away your many tears, it was clear that you were furious. "Stupid Ace, stupid Grim, stupid Deuce! Always getting me into trouble..." you hissed between sobs. "As if I don't already have any problems to deal with..."

You rose to your feet and angrily kicked away an innocent pebble that conveniently lay at your feet. Then, you crossed your arms and longingly looked off into the distance, your back turned to the curious boy watching you.

Neige — being the kind person he was — immediately stepped out of cover after having decided that he needed to help you with your problems. So, clearing his throat once he stood just a few metres behind you, he softly called out, "Excuse me? Are you alright?"

A loud gasp escaped your lips — almost accompanied by a shrill scream, but you were able to gulp it down. Snapping around in surprise, you laid eyes on the friendly-looking boy smiling at you with such innocence that you felt calm again. Still, you raised your hands defensively and took a few steps back. "I-I'm alright—" you stuttered out while sending him a nervous smile. "Uhm... I should go..."

As you were about to turn around and sprint away with your last remaining stamina, you were stopped by Neige yelling out, "No, please don't go just yet!" His voice sounded so gentle and vulnerable that you couldn't bring yourself to take another step away from him. So, you stopped and turned around to give him an unsure look; he reciprocated with a reassuring smile. "You look sad, my dear. Mayhaps it would help if you talked to me about it? My friends always tell I'm a good listener."

"I'm... not sure."

Neige laughed to himself while taking a few cautious steps towards you. Then, he opened his mouth and put one hand to his chest. "A stray lost in her thoughts— I saw her sitting there, nursing a frown." His voice was confident yet gentle, and it sounded like he was reciting a poem. The way he spoke was enchanting, and so, you soon found yourself relaxing and letting down your guard. "So I reached out, compelled to offer a warm hello! No reason, no motive, simple, unadorned, unpretentious~"

You gave him a playful roll of your eye once he was finished with his little performance. "You poet," you scoffed playfully, to which he shook his head in an equally as playful way.

"The smile on her face!" he continued, and you realised that he wasn't finished yet. "It startled me, made me forget my troubles. Suddenly all seemed so insignificant." Finally, he bowed, signalling that this now truly was the end of his performance.

You clapped your hands together, laughing. "You're adorable," you said in a nonchalant way, although the way you stuttered didn't give you a casual appearance at all. Neige prided himself in the way your cheeks were warm in embarrassment and gratitude, and he soon stepped closer to take your hand into his and press a careful kiss to your knuckles. "Thanks, stranger... I think you managed to cheer me up."

"It is of no problem!" Neige chirped immediately, just happily smiling in such an endearing way that you caught your heart fluttering in joy. "I'm glad I was able to help you out."

You hummed while looking him deeply in the eyes. There still was some suspicion left in your gaze, and you carefully asked, "Say, what's your name?"

"Neige LeBlanche," he replied without hesitating. "And yours?"

You silently repeated his name on your tongue, wondering why it seemed so familiar to you. As you were busy thinking hard, Neige waited patiently and used the opportunity to get a better look at your face, memorising your (E/c) eyes. So, he almost gasped in surprise when you violently yanked your hand out of his and clumsily stumbled multiple metres away.

"Wait, you're the Neige?" you cried out in panic.

His eyes were wide in surprise as he calmed down again. Soon, there was a sheepish smile on his face, and he simply mistook the panic on your face as the realisation of having met a celebrity. Still carefree, he cheerily asked, "Oh— you know me?"

His answer caused that frown on your face to deepen even more. With one last heavy breath, you turned around and yelled out, "I—I have to go—!" Then, you quickened your pace until you were practically sprinting out of the clearing.

Neige was quick to react and run after you with a worried expression on his face. It was soon that he had caught up with you, and you stopped with a heavy heart, never truly looking him in the eyes again. "You seem startled..." Neige remarked in a concerned tone, and he sounded slightly hurt and confused, too. "Did I do something wrong?"

It was only with a heavy heart that you mustered all your courage to raise your gaze and quietly explain, "You're from RSA— the others would kill me if they saw us together..." You spoke at such a quick pace that Neige could barely understand you, nonetheless comprehend your words. All he noticed was that melancholic smile on your face as you turned away from him once again. "Thanks for everything, but I need to go now—"

"At least," he interrupted and wrapped his hand around your wrist, "tell me your name before you leave. Please."

The way your eyes darted back and forth gave away your anxiety. You seemed hesitant, but Neige knew how to press the right buttons by giving you the best puppy eyes he had to offer. Eventually, he found success, and you exhaled in defeat before quietly muttering, "Alright... my name is (Y/n)." Without giving him any time to respond, you tugged your wrist out of his hold and scurried away. "Now, goodbye."

Neige remained where you had left him, amidst the tall trees and curious animals watching him. The smile on his lips grew until he felt his muscles aching. A longing sigh escaped his lips, and he twirled around in utter happiness. "(Y/n), my princess..." he whispered to himself and clutched his heart in a delighted way. "Oh alas, my princess has come to me! The wishing well truly fulfilled my deepest desire!"

[youngmasterwisdomperson]

Contemplating Traits that Mistspren Look for in a Radiant

Some radiant spren are a little more intuitively named with regards to what they’re attracted to, like honorspren, who are attracted to people with a strong sense of morality, and cryptics (lie spren) who are attracted to people who are lying to themselves. But others aren’t so intuitive, like Highspren, Cultivationspren and Inkspren, so we have to fill in the gaps based on examples we’ve seen and what we know about their associated oaths.

Skybreakers bond Highspren, and their oaths are all about law, so they’re probably attracted to individuals who care a lot about following a strict set of rules, as opposed to a loosely defined code of morals like with honorspren. Cultivationspren have been stated to actively meet and choose candidates to send one of theirs to bond, but they probably still seek out those most likely to swear the associated oaths of looking out for the little guy. They were considering Ym, who went out of his way to give free shoes and medical care to orphans, but the Mistspren seem to have gotten there first. And it’s Truthwatchers in particular that I’m interested in knowing more about, as the radiant quiz says I’m one of them, with Edgedancer as a close second.

This close call makes me ask the question of whether I’d have ended up with a similar situation to Ym, where both Cultivationspren and Mistspren were interested but one got there first. And it makes me ask which one, regardless of which of the two orders better suits me personally, I’d have been more attractive to. Trouble is, I’m uncertain what exactly Mistspren look for in a radiant. We don’t have many examples of Truthwatchers in SA so far, and what examples we do have are given few perspective chapters to use as a reference. We don’t even know for certain what the oaths they take look like.

We’ve been told that Truthwatcher oaths involve discovering universal truths, and they’re adjacent to Lightweavers, who must accept truths about themselves in order to level up. Therefore, it is reasonable based on limited information to assume that Truthwatchers have loose, personalized oaths as well. To advance, you likely have to present your Mistspren with a truth about life, the universe, and other broad, impersonal subjects that are hard to define, and then accept those truths. This, naturally, doesn’t give us a lot to go on when it comes to what traits might attract a Mistspren.

Perhaps analyzing the common traits of those Truthwatchers we’ve seen could help with this conundrum. The Stump and Ym both spent their time helping orphans and street urchins, so a tendency toward altruism and kindness could be considered. Renarin and Rlain are both generally kind and well-meaning as well, so that could be part of it. But a lot of radiants are good people, so that’s probably a little too broad. Both Renarin and Rlain have demonstrated a feeling of not belonging among their peers, Renarin’s autism making it harder for him to relate to the other Alethi, and Rlain being the only Listener among a society of humans. Perhaps Mistspren are attracted to people who don’t belong?

I think perhaps the final piece of the puzzle might be found in what little we know about Mistspren themselves. They are supposedly very empathetic and curious creatures, fascinated by the perspectives of other people. Corrupted Mistspren can hide within the bodies of their radiants and enter gem hearts, something they can apparently use to influence Cremlings, almost literally stepping into someone else’s shoes. Could it be, then, that Mistspren are attracted to individuals with an unusual perspective on life? That would certainly match Renarin and Rlain, Renarin being neurodivergent and Rlain having viewed the perspectives of both humans and Listeners. Perhaps they’re similarly attracted to people with high levels of empathy for others, or people with a tendency to try to understand the world around them.

If Mistspren are curious by nature and want to explore other points of view, then naturally they’d gravitate toward a radiant who could help them fulfill such desires. They’d always be looking for someone with unusual sets of experiences, such as Ym, who used to live a life of revelry fueled by his parents’ inheritance, but was implied to spend quite some time as a homeless man when said money ran out, giving him empathy and understanding toward orphans and urchins while also having had experience in a higher social class. This would have been what gave him his unique point of view on why people live different lives and how we’re all just parts of the same universe trying to experience itself in all sorts of different ways. That may have even been his second ideal!

I’d be interested to hear from my fellow Truthwatchers on this subject. Would you say you have an unusual point of view on life, or do you think it would be inaccurate to describe yourself that way? Would you say your particular set of experiences gives you greater than average amounts of insight on how some aspect of the world works, or do you believe your perspective to be more down-to-earth? Do you perhaps feel unusual or out of place amongst your peers, or do you actually have a fairly strong sense of belonging? Are you perchance neurodivergent, or from a different culture than the one in which you currently reside?

And for those of you who have spent significant time interacting with people you know to be Truthwatchers, but are not of that order yourselves, how would you reply to the above questions if you were asked to describe such people?

I’m curious to hear your answers.

[imasimpforshanks]

Hiya ! Could I request Marco from op and the fluff alphabet ??? Thank you so much and hope you’re doing well 💕💕💕

Fluff Alphabet - Marco

a/n: hiiii!! Thank you for requesting! I hope you enjoy this 💗 I absolutely adore Marco 😭

A-Activities (what do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?)

Marco enjoys to anything domestic really. Just spending time with you in any way, shape or form is enough for him. The two of you could be lounging about on the deck of the Moby Dick or you could be exploring a new island – if it’s together, he doesn’t mind what it is you’re doing.

B-Beauty (what do they admire about their s/o? what do they think is beautiful about them?)

Your heart is one of the most beautiful things about you. It’s so kind, always filled with empathy and a selfless desire to put others before yourself. He’s never met someone like you and every time he looks at you he can’t stop thinking about how blessed he is that you chose to be with him of all people.

C-Comfort (how would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?)

Marco undoubtedly gives the best advice. He is amazing with words and always knows exactly what needs to be said. He also makes it abundantly clear that you are not going through this alone – he is there to lean on any time you need it.

D-Dreams (how do they picture the future with their s/o?)

He doesn’t envision his future as being any different from how it is now. Sure, he can see you two settling down eventually, after his time as a pirate has come to an end, he can also MAYBE see a child or two if that’s what his partner wants. But other than that, he’s enjoying things just as they are, and honestly, he doesn’t really want anything to change for a while.

E-Equal (are they the dominant one in the relationship or rather passive?)

If needed Marco can be more dominant, putting his foot down and being the decisive one. However, more often than not, he tends to just go with the flow of the relationship - he’ll openly and actively listen to what you have to say and if it doesn’t sit right with him then he will communicate that to you.

F-Fight (would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?)

Marco is great at holding his tongue and remaining calm during any kind of fight or disagreement with his s/o. He doesn’t want to say or do anything he might regret. Also, he’s extremely quick to forgive. Life is too short to fight with the ones that you love.

G-Gratitude (how grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?)

Not a day goes by where Marco doesn’t thank you for being a part of his life. Sometimes he just outright tells you how thankful he is. Other times he performs little acts of service to show his gratitude. He is always making sure you know how grateful he is.

H-Honesty (do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?)

Marco is one of the best people ever at communicating in a relationship. Honesty is extremely important to him. He shares practically everything with you without hesitation and he trusts you to do the same.

He only keeps a secret if it involves some sort of a surprise for you.

I-Inspiration (did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?)

He’s an extremely easy-going individual who likes to take things as they come. So, throughout your relationship Marco has taught you the joy and pleasure that lies in going with the flow.

J-Jealousy (do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?)

It takes a lot for him to get jealous. In fact, I’d say Marco rarely gets jealous – honestly, it’s practically NEVER. There’s no reason for him to be jealous because he doesn’t doubt your loyalty and love for him at all. Occasionally, he teases you and asks, “oh so you don’t love me anymore?” but there is absolutely no truth behind it. He knows with his whole heart that you love him, and you know that he loves you more than anything in the world.

K-Kisses (are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?)

He’s definitely had a bit of experience, so it’s safe to say he knows what he’s doing. Even if he lacked the experience, I view Marco as someone who is just naturally a great kisser.

Your first kiss was practically like one from a romance anime. The two of you sitting outside looking up at the stars and talking about anything and everything. There was a brief pause where the two of you looked at each other and you smiled so brightly. Marco couldn’t help himself as he leaned in to place a soft yet deep kiss to your lips.

L-Love confession (how would they confess to their s/o?)

Marco makes the mistake of telling Thatch, Izo and a few others of his feelings for you. They try to convince him to do some big elaborate confession with candles, flowers, and everything of that sort. But, to their dismay Marco shot down all of their ideas, instead opting to go for something a little more low key. It’ll happen near the end of one of the Whitebeard Pirates’ big parties. Everyone’s either passed out or passing out, and the two of you are just sitting together giggling to yourselves about it. After a moment or two he’d just come right out and say it.

M-Marriage (do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?)

Marco is in no rush to get married. He loves you and you love him. That’s all he needs to know. He doesn’t need a ceremony or a piece of paper to tell him what you both already know. Not to mention you guys practically already act like a married couple. That being said, if marriage is something you really want, then he is all for it. If it makes you feel more confident and secure in your relationship, then he will propose to you as soon as you want.

N-Nicknames (what do they call their s/o?)

He likes to use the classics ‘babe’, ‘love’, ‘sweetie’. But he also has a teasing nickname that you absolutely hate, it’s from an inside joke between the two of you.

O-On cloud nine (what are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?)

When Marco first falls in love he starts randomly whistling the tunes of some love songs (HOW CHEESY I KNOW). He doesn’t notice he’s even doing it until Thatch or Izo point it out to him (not without teasing him about it first). After it’s been pointed out, it’s as if the whole world finally makes sense to him.

P-PDA (are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?)

Marco is pretty chill when it comes to PDA. He doesn’t mind standard PDA like a peck on the check, a kiss on the lips, hand holding (etc.), but he’s definitely not going to have a pash right in front of everyone. HOWEVER, if his mates are complaining about how single they are he is more than happy to rub in how happy and in love he is by giving you a massive smooch on the lips right in front of them.

Q-Quirk (some random ability they have that is beneficial in a relationship?)

As a matter of fact, Marco is quite the handyman. You never have to seek out someone to fic anything because Marco is there to fix it for you. Although, he does still recommend that you don’t use his work as a permanent solution.

R-Romance (how romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?)

I think his love language/s is acts of service and quality time. He uses these to express his love and affection. Sometimes his expressions of love can be cliché (e.g. a bouquet of flowers), but other times they could be creative and very specific to the dynamic of your relationship.

S-Support (are they helping their s/o achieve their goals do they believe in them?)

Marco is by your side every step of the way. But he wants to make sure he doesn’t overstep any boundaries and achieve your goal for you. So rather than getting involved, Marco is that unwavering support from the side lines – constantly uplifting you and providing reassurance that you can do it.

T-Thrill (do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship or do they prefer certain routine?)

Marco is content with the way things are. You have a comfortable routine, and it works for the both of you. He feels no need to spice out your relationship, mainly because life as a pirate does that enough. However, if either of you ever expressed any desire to spice things out even more, then he would welcome that idea with open arms!

U-Understanding (how good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?)

It’s almost unbelievable how good he is at reading you. When it comes to you, he just knows. He needs to be able to just know, so that he’s ready to help whenever you need him.

V-Value (how important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?)

The relationship is very important and it’s up there with being one of the most important things in his life, possibly the most important thing. The only possible competition your relationship has, is his loyalty and responsibility to Whitebeard, but even then, Whitebeard is happy so long as his family is happy. And since you make Marco happy, well that’s pretty self-explanatory.

W-Wild card (a random fluff headcanon?)

He’s the type of person to keep a photo of you and him in his wallet, and he loves when he’s out and about paying for something and someone happens to point it out because it gives him a reason to brag about you.

X-XOXO (Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?)

Like I said, he likes to show affection (but no big acts of PDA). He’s most cuddly and affectionate in the early hours of the morning though. He peppers lots of kisses all over your face and cuddles you so tightly that you have to tap him on the shoulder and warn him that you can’t breathe.

Y-Yearning (how will they cope when they are missing their partner?)

Most of the time he copes by involving himself in little shenanigans with a few of his crew mates. He finds it to be a great way to distract himself, while also continuing to be surrounded by his loved ones.

Z-Zeal (are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind?)

Most of the One Piece characters are willing to go the extra mile for their relationships. Marco is no different. We need to remember he is a Whitebeard Pirate, so we already know how much he values any of the relationships in his life. He joined the battle against the Marines to get Ace back, so just imagine the lengths he would go to for your relationship.