#appointments are hard

[turns-out-its-adhd]

An ADHD morning

7:30 am - First alarm

Roll over to sleepily take meds

Realise I left my water bottle in the kitchen last night when I went to refill it

Have nothing to drink to take meds

Fall back asleep

7:45 am - Second alarm...[third and fourth alarm...]

Manage to wake self enough due to need to pee

Take meds with me to bathroom and slurp water from tap to swallow meds

Hasty wash, brush teeth, makeup

Remove and re-apply smeared eyeliner job

8:20 am [Somehow... what‽]

Bus due at 8:50

*Panic*

Clothes/Dispense food to cat/Dispense love and affection to cat

Keys/Phone/Purse

Am I dressed warm enough? Probably... No? Yes it's fine

Get to door

Realise I forgot to grab cash for bus fare

Run back upstairs, get bus fare

8:42

Leave house

Power walk to bus stop

Get to stop just as bus comes round corner

Success!

8:50 - 9:19

Zone out on bus [except to notice coffee shop we just passed]

9:20

Arrive, disembark bus

Do I have time for coffee....?

9:23

Stand in short but unexpectedly slow queue for coffee

9:26

Power walk to doctor surgery with emotional support coffee

9:29

Arrive at GP just in time for 9:30am psychiatrist appointment

Proud face

Approach reception, check I am at correct reception

Give details

No record coming up in my name

Told to sit and wait while receptionist checks for me

**PARANOIA**

Check phone calendar - appointment today @ 9:30am

****MORE PARANOIA****

Check through phone pictures for photo I think I took of appointment letter

Find photo of letter after many photos of my cat

Letter confirms that :

My appointment was last Monday at 9:30 am

[blueywritespoetry]

I do not write happy poems.

I should probably get that checked out.

My ankle is still a little swollen

I should likely phone the doctors.

I have issues with overcomitting

And problems with abandonment

And my room is a mess I need to clean

And my desk is too dirty to be useful

And I should get my head looked at

And I'm probably autistic

And my heart hurts in a visceral manner

And I want to curl up and die

And I should probably get it checked out

But I don't. And so I won't.

[quins-makeshift-menagerie]

Why I’ve been so sick and why I might continue to be sick but will still try and work on the blog

@the-other-q made this so I am obligated to use it

[nondelphic]

writing: where i put my trauma to good use because apparently it’s cheaper than therapy

[pocketponii]

Mf has to break his neck to look at palkia

[chrisrin]

hi so i got diagnosed with adhd like 6 months ago after continuously insistently denying i had it to everyone who swore up and down that i did have it. then a psychiatrist was "yeah you have it bro" and i've been re-evaluating everything in my life. anyways. that's context, and with that re-evaluating i've realized something about my hyperfixations and i want to know if:

a) people with adhd relate to it. b) how do you. deal with this. because i think it's somewhat ruining how i interact with media.

anyways, under the read more ->

i've come to realize a pattern with media i consume that i get fixated on. typically this happens with longer media. so stuff like homestuck, and currently with one piece. stuff that i cant binge in an evening or two. (i am on chapter 170 of one piece at the moment of writing this, i read 40 chapters yesterday)

i obviously can't be consuming the new piece of media i'm into every second of my day, in fact, that sounds exhausting.

i have other things i need to get done and, in fact, i NEED to be doing other things because even with something i'm hyperfixated on, my brain will get bored and needs to bounce off other types content. however what this does mean is that every thought i have IS still hyperfixated on the piece of media which means i will still seek out that content even if it's not me reading the original source material.

what this MEANS is that i have all these video essays recommended to me about one piece because youtube has caught on that i am liking and enjoying ONE PIECE (same with twitter. my entire twitter for you page is completely consumed by one piece. i dont know who 2/3rds of these people are please im still in alabasta what is happening) and i Want to Watch them all but i'm in the stage rn where Everything Is A Spoiler so i CANT watch the video essays so ill instead watch them RIGHT UP UNTIL im in the danger zone of being spoiled (sometimes actually risking/getting spoiled) or watching random out of context one piece clips and my one piece friends are all telling me i am just like icarus and flying too close to the sun but i also feel like i can't help the compulsion in some ways? it also means i cannot help but talk about it in every conversation i have with everyone but that seems like, minorly connected to all this.

it's crazy because in my head this is the Worst Stage of the hyperfixation, where i can Only consume the media itself and not all the fan stuff around it. but that's Insane because this should be the best time because i'm literally experiencing the cool media i like for the first time. i feel insane. does anyone else relate to this. how do you deal with it?

[collophora]

haha I'll never finish this

but hewwo new followers <3

[liatai]

Question!

Neurodivergent peeps of Tumblr, I have a question.

I know that "nonverbal" or "selectively mute" are specific terms that mean "I cannot force words out no matter how hard I try," so... is there a term for "I can speak if I have to, but right now it requires extra energy?"

Like, I'm autistic. I have times where I can speak and even hold conversations, but stringing a verbal sentence together takes effort, the same kind of effort lifting a heavy load with your body would but in your mind. I can be perfectly eloquent and verbose in text when this happens, and sometimes I'll even make some of the limited signs I know in ASL without an issue, but speaking aloud uses up all my mental RAM and I can feel the metaphorical fans of my mind-computer whirring in overdrive. X3;

It's exhausting, too. Usually if I've been verbally social for a while, that's when it kicks in.

I can understand spoken words just as well as other times when this happens, as long as I don't have to speak to reply. If I have to speak, the mental effort and stamina needed to do it tends to push details aside in an endeavor to save processing power. ^^;

I know autism is a spectrum, and I'm hoping someone might have a name for this "not QUITE nonverbal but verbal words are VERY hard right now" feeling ^^; "Partially nonverbal" or "partially selectively mute" doesn't seem quite right.

Help?

[fbfh]

Imagine topping Leo in a chair?

LITERALLY love you for this. riding Leo in a chair is in like your top 5 favorite ways to ride Leo. your faces are so close together and he can feel every intimate rockwing bouncing squeeze of your tight juicy little hole gripping his throbbing cock like a vise. his eyes are so wide and his grip on your soft hips is nearly enough to leave pretty little fingertip bruises polkadotting your thighs (which he's obsessed with) and your hips (which he's also obsessed with) and your ass (are you sensing a pattern here????) and god everything you do drives him crazy but CHRIST the way you hold his face so sweetly in your pretty hands, so innocent and tender while simultaneously milking his cock for all he's got. and he'll give it to you. Leo will let you ride him in that chair that he can't look at after that without going half mast. he'll let you ride him until he's shooting blanks, until both of your cum drips on the floor, mixing in messy creamy beautiful puddles. Leo will throw his head back in pleasure, panting, chest heaving and giving you the best view of his perfect neck that's just begging to be covered in hickeys and bites. Leo will let you ride him in a chair until he passes out. can't walk. pounding down gatorade and liquid iv to try and rehydrate. and he'll thank you for it.

[lady-harrowhark]

guess who's back, back again

(it's my exposed jawbone)

[the-one-with-spider-brainrot]

finally i figured out how to draw hekets head shape

she's fat and buff - in fact her body type is based on weightlifters

[marzipanandminutiae]

my mom's friend just had to get skin cancer on her nose removed. they had to take a huge amount of tissue to get it all- so now she's going to have even more pain and expense and stress and trauma with reconstructive surgery

this woman is incredibly sweet. the last time I saw her in person was at my high school graduation party, when she and her husband gave me big hugs and an antique locket. she's also a full-time caregiver for her disabled daughter. I can't imagine what she's going through right now

this is why you should use sun protection. not any anti-aging BS, although if that lights a fire under you, great. you don't have to be scared or obsessive. just take common sense precautions like covering up and/or (preferably And) wearing sunscreen, sitting in the shade if you're outdoors for long periods of time, etc. yes, even if you have dark skin. arguably ESPECIALLY if you have dark skin, because skin cancer tends to go undetected longer on dark complexions and therefore have worse outcomes

nobody deserves to go through this. and she's one of the lucky ones- she's still alive

[skywalker42]

What people think ADHD is:

So I went to my room to grab sticky notes to leave my roommate a reminder on the dryer but then I saw my week old mug on my nightstand so I went to put it away and then when I was in the kitchen I realized there's no room for it in the cabinet and now I'm measuring the wall for shelving units.

Which, yeah, it is that. It's definitely that. But it's also this series of texts I sent to my friend this morning:

[xoxoemynn]

The inside of my head basically looks like if you handed a toddler a marker and let them scribble all over the walls. It's hard for me to form coherent thoughts or know what to do and that's so hard for me, because I love a plan, I love a task list, I love knowing exactly what comes next and what needs to be done. And I just don't have that brain space yet.

But I do know I can give my sweet dog a piece of turkey and look at how happy she is as she gobbles it up, and give her kisses and belly rubs and hold her close.

And I can text my friends, even ones I haven't talked to in a while, and know even if they don't have words either, we understand.

And I can have a cookie the size of my fist for dinner, maybe two.

And I can paint my nails something shiny and sparkly because having something bright and pretty visible on my hands as I scroll, and scroll, and scroll, can remind me there are still little things that make me smile.

And when I am reminded of something that scares me, I can make a donation to a cause that is fighting it.

And I can go to sleep wrapped up in my favorite blanket and wake up tomorrow.

It may not be much, but for tonight, it's enough. Tomorrow is another day.

I love you.

[officialkendallroy]

if i posted something on here in regards towards the research of my master's thesis would you guys help me out pls....... 🫶🏻

[fake-married-my-dead-fiance]

I'm not saying that Soo-cheol has entirely won me over with his cute stupidity but he has one chance to talk to his wife and he sends English and Korean vaccination records for the kid who might not even be his son? And he reminds his wife to sing baby shark? And we see the appointment and he's crying more than his son? And he's not even mad at her he just wants to know that she's okay?

My poor heart!