#apparently tumblr mobile displays

[underwhelmingalchemist]

So apparently the version of the "Isn't It Bromantic" interview that gets passed around isn't the full thing

So after seeing a tumblr post I can't find, about two and half hours of intensive internet digging, and one purchase from a sketchy second-hand site later (full story under the cut, I promise it's interesting, but also long), I got the physical magazine and scanned it

So here you go: the full "Isn't It Bromantic?" TV guide interview with Robert Sean Leonard and Hugh Laurie

Feel free to repost wherever you want- I want people to be able to find the full thing

SO, as for how I found it:

I saw this tumblr post forever ago that I can't find anymore because tumblr is just Like That with a cropped screenshot of an interview with Hugh Laurie and Robert Sean Leonard. In the interview, they're asked about the "bromance" between their two characters. Leonard makes an annoyed comment about how "everyone [is] obsessed with homosexuality", followed by the interview apologizing and Laurie immediately jumping in with, "No, no, let's talk about it. Wilson and House have an unusual relationship so you have to explore…" and the screenshot cuts off there. Cue funny comment from the OP about the interaction, roll credits.

Except, as these things tend to do, it ended up becoming a bit of a brain worm, and I wanted to find it again. But I couldn't find the tumblr post. I looked absolutely everywhere, and in the process of looking everywhere, I found what I thought was the original interview- a blog post with the full quote from the actor. I didn't think too much about it, I figured it was just a short quote given to a popular blog in 2008. There's a magazine cover above it, but I don't think too much about it, because I'm focusing on the quotes in the article instead of the rest of it.

So I send screenshots to a couple friends to make jokes, and it probably should have died there.

However, late at night I end up thinking about that interview again, because of course I did. I start to think about how it's weirdly formatted for, what I assumed at first reading, was just an entertainment news blog reaching out for comment and getting a response. So I pull up the screenshots of the article (because weirdly enough, the old-ass blog only loads on mobile) and look at it again.

This is when I realize that this isn't an original piece from a blog interviewing these two after reaching out for comment. This is a blog post quoting and commenting on a full interview from a magazine, which I had originally thought had just been the inspiration for the piece.

So naturally, I go looking for the magazine.

Luckily, the name of the magazine is displayed on the cover, and so is the title of its main piece. This should be easy to find, right?

Wrong.

This is an interview in a physical magazine. From 2008. October 13th, 2008, to be exact.

I know this exact date because searching the article title and magazine name leads me to an archive on the TV Guide website.

Of covers.

And nothing but covers.

I spend like forty-five minutes searching everywhere I can think of on the web. Internet Archive, the TV Guide website, any search result that comes up when I search any combination of the words "House" "Interview" "Bromantic" "Bromance" "TV Guide" "Archive" etc. Over and over, all that's coming up are that original blog post and the cover from the official gallery.

The only things I could find online were:

The cover and date of the issue on the TV Guide website

The original blog post that was screenshotted in the original tumblr post

Another blog post that had a much shorter version of the quote, references something Leonard says from later in the article, and makes a comment on the nature of his reaction to the term "bromance"

An entry on Leonard's IMDB page's "interview" list mentioning it in title only

And:

5. A single listing for the issue on what seemed to be a second-hand site that looked like it hadn't had its UI updated since the mid 2000's, with a listing with no date or additional information besides what issue it is.

This is the only listing anywhere. I checked every other second-hand site I could think of, and then some that only came up through google searches. There's not a single listing for that issue on any of them. There were plenty of listings of TV guide magazines, including one that seemed promising because it included issues from that year, but it was missing all of October.

It seemed like the only listing for this issue on the entire internet was this one copy on this one obscure website. For all I know, this was listed in 2008 and abandoned, and just never got marked inactive. It could also be a complete scam.

A few quick google searches show that that website seemed to be legit, albeit a bit loose on quality control (which makes sense, this website seemed like the kind of thing you'd have to use the Way Back Machine to access). It also had an option to pay via PayPal, which meant I could file a chargeback if need be.

It was $11.50 when you include shipping.

So at about half past midnight, I bought the listing.

Naturally, about an hour later, I manage to actually find a scan of the interview. I had to follow a link in the comments of a post on FanPop, taking me to an old wordpress blog, and I'm sitting in front of the damn interview at last.

But something doesn't make sense. Why would their cover story only be two pages of text that aren't even full pages, and why would it cut off so strangely? There was no concluding sentence or paragraph, even though it started with a fairly long lead-in. It also led right up to the edge of the page, which felt like there should be more to it. There were more images in the interview than text, and the fact that there are so many of them and they clearly did a whole photoshoot indicated that they had them on hand for a while. The silly string one, for instance, I imagine probably had to require a couple takes, which means cleaning off Wilson's hair and face, adjusting makeup, etc. for it. Meanwhile, the conversation itself seems like it could have taken ten minutes total. I could have been totally wrong and that was where the article ended, but I couldn't shake the feeling that there might be more.

So I hold tight. A couple days pass with no update, and then the PayPal purchase gets updated with a tracking number. Promising, but it could still be a scam. Whether or not I get the actual magazine becomes a source of anxiety for the next week.

Until today, when I get told it was delivered. And when I opened the envelope it was sent in: there it was.

When I tell you I was happy stimming in my bedroom just holding the damn issue in my own hands... And then opening it and finding out that I was right, there was a missing page... I was elated. I still am, just typing this.

So I spent half an hour getting my scanner to work, and I give you the above issues.

Like I said above, feel free to repost however and wherever you want. I want all this to mean something.

In the meantime, I have two more House-themed TV Guide magazines coming to try and get articles from.

[sonicenvy]

So I was poking around through my followers list and I noticed that there are a few of you who have no title, no profile picture, no custom site and no bio who do have enough likes to make me think you might be a real person and not a bot. If you are indeed a real person, please read this post.

If I click on you and your blog looks like this:

you look like a bot, yes even if you have a substantial amount of likes.

It is very easy to make yourself look human, and because I'm feeling helpful and chatty today, I'm going to show you how to do that, with screenshots. I even went on this site in safari where I don't have dashboardunfucker set up to take these screenshots, so you know I'm feeling good today.

Step 1:

In your sidebar go to "account" highlighted in blue below:

Step 2:

Select your blog in the drop down. (There are a bunch of blogs on mine because I have multiple junk side blogs.) For the purpose of this exercise I made a brand new blank one called imtotallyabot56789.

Step 3:

Go to "blog settings" in the right hand sidebar. This will take you to a new page.

Step 4:

On that new page, select "edit appearance".

Step 5:

Get to editing! I've highlighted for you the 4 most important things you need to change to not be a bot.

Those things are:

your icon

your header

your title & bio

you banner/bio colors

Some notes:

Your banner can be a .gif, a .png or a .jpg. It is best at a 16:9 ratio. I can't remember how big mine was, but a little bit bigger is better so that it displays decently on desktop and on mobile.

Your icon/profile picture should be a square. I think it displays at 128x128, but I don't know for sure. Use a bigger image than that though. Mine is apparently 886x886 at 72 ppi. Don't pick a photo of yourself unless there's something interesting about it (ie: you're in cosplay or something) because a regularass photo of a person looks like a bot as well. If you don't know what to pick, you can head over to picrew and use an icon generator there to create an icon. There are a lot of fun options. If you want to design your own and don't have photoshop or something like that, check out photopea which is an in browser photoshop clone. Have fun with this -- pick a character you like or a pretty image. Like whatever you want just don't stick with the default one. Use either a jpg or a png.

Your title doesn't have to be that deep. Or descriptive. A lot of people use lines from books, music, poetry, tv or movies for theirs. Mine is related to Elizabeth Warren ("Nevertheless She Persisted"). I've previously used "Death Cannot Stop True Love" and "This could be a little more sonic"

Your bio also doesn't have to be long or, like describe anything super detailed about you. The beauty of tumblr dot hell is that it is one of the more anonymous social media sites out on the internet. You could literally just put something like "Fandom Lurker". Just have something.

The banner/bio colors just change the color of the border around your header image/icon "background" and the accent color.

Step 6:

Some additional basic (optional) things to do:

Enable "Custom Theme". This gives you an actual website rather than the dumb little tumblr dot com/blog/yourblognamehere thing that you get by default. The advantages to having an actual yourblognamehere dot tumblr dot com website are numerous. I made a whole post about that with instructions on how to do that. (note that the screenshots in that post were made before the tumblr layout change that was tumblr staff copying twitter's homework). A big benefit to having your own site is that it is easier to find tagged posts on a site because the default search that tumblr has on the /blog/yourblognamehere thing is hot flaming garbage and pulls posts that don't have that tag whilst also missing ones that do. with a yourblognamehere dot tumblr dot com site you can simply go to yourblognamehere(dot)tumblr(dot)com/tagged/mycooltag and see all the tagged posts. Dooo this. you know you want to doooo this.

2. Open your ask box and turn off tumblr affiliate links. Asks can be fun. They can also be terrible. You can always turn them off later if you decide that people are being mean to you. Personally I have not had that problem in the 12 years I've been here. Maybe it's just the relative obscurity of this blog? who knows. glad for that though.

3. Add some featured tags.

This is a newer setting but I think it's fun. If you make posts (or reblog lots of posts) you can add a few tags that you use very often to this as little shortcuts for people visiting your blog.

Whew! That's all for today folks! Thanks for coming to my tumblr how to for newbies talk. I'll probably post another tumblr for newbies chat at some point.

with love and light,

💚 your local internet crazy lady slash tumblr oldtimer

Be kind to yourself and someone else today!

[lytefoot]

@staff What fresh hell is this?

Apparently this is some clever mobile mode, but it triggers because I have my display scaled up. If I set the zoom on the Tumblr main page to 90% it goes back to its previous semi-usable configuration.

Maybe make the responsive design actually query aspect ratio, rather than just using width as a shorthand? I'm on desktop (i.e. a landscape screen--a stupidly wide screen in fact) and should be getting the toolbar designed to take up horizontal real estate.

[masterjedilenawrites]

AHH Lena ive got a problem!! so i think my blog got hacked into???? but theres nothing diffrent/changed so im not sure but it i was looking at stuff and it says i was "active" at some place ive never been to? but the thing is that weekend i had traveled and somewhat close (like to the neighboring state but it was on the other side away from me) and im not sure if it could just be a glitch? but im still quite worried. i mean i just changed my password but it says it was active recently and i dont know what to do and i dont want to delete my blog (its super small anyways so it wouldnt matter tho)

Don’t panic friend! I’ve got some ideas for you based on some research I’ve done.

(Also apologies for any typos, i’m typing this out on mobile in a waiting room lol)

So, i hadn’t heard of this “active sessions” section of Tumblr before, but quickly found it on the web version under account settings. According to Tumblr’s FAQs, this shows any log ins/access sessions to your Tumblr account by browser, and includes location info, to help you keep your account secure.

Looking at mine, I recognized various devices I’ve used over the past several months, with the locations as my home town. Two logs stood out to me though. 1 - my current session (marked as “current” in green) says my location is in a different part of the state. Odd, but could be due to having a new phone? 2 - apparently a session back in April came from a completely different state. Very odd right?

If i’d come across this back in April, i probably would’ve freaked out like you anon. But the fact it happened 3 months ago (and i haven’t noticed any unusual activity on my account), i couldn’t help but wonder how accurate these locations are…

Hence a research rabbit hole about IP addresses. You’ll notice underneath the city/state display is a string of numbers. This is the IP address of the browser’s network connection. There are several free websites where you can search that IP address and get a much more accurate location… Apparently, IP addresses may not always be accurate due to the geolocation databases they run through. So at the time of that connection, my location was displaying as one place when I was really somewhere else. But when I search that IP address now, it shows my current and accurate location.

I’ve also experienced odd location issues in other areas… like when I access Netflix from a new device and it sends a confirmation email, it usually has the city wrong.

So… this is what I did to look into the odd location activity on my account and i’m comfortable saying it was a IP address geolocation error. It’s possible that’s what you’re seeing on your account too.

If not… next step i would recommend is to double check the email address you have on the account. If someone actually hacked your account, that would be one of the first things they’d change in order to keep access. Really look at the address because sometimes they’ll try to throw you off by making a similar email but with like an added dot, or an extra letter that you wouldn’t catch at first glance. You can change it back to your own address in addition to changing your password.

Those are my two main ideas. I’m not an expert in these things but that’s where i would start, especially if you’re not seeing any suspicious activity on your account. Anyone else with ideas or experience here, feel free to chime in!

[lacefuneral]

oh hey I discovered something really fucked up about Tumblr themes.

so. I have a modification in my CSS that is set to not display whatever my pinned post is set to on mobile. And this is because my theme is very old and the format doesn't match Tumblr's current post format in terms of image embedding. and it looks very yucky when you view my blog on desktop.

(also I have a sidebar, which has a bio. which, fun fact, is NOT connected to my mobile bio. something i did on purpose for the same reason. it conveys the same basic information but without all of the emojis and unicode art and shit. it's formatted to look good for That Sidebar Specifically.)

and I just assumed, that this would not affect my desktop archive. Because surely,  that is something entirely unconnected to my theme. that is something that Tumblr hardcoded like other parts of their website, that I should not be able to modify.

WRONG! apparently, hiding a post on my own blog with CSS also hides them in my archive. and I know this because I have multiple posts that are  tagged with #pinned. But NONE of them appear when i search for them in my archive. Which I don't think should be allowed????

now, the posts still exist. And I'm able to pull up some of them on mobile despite how terrible mobile searches work. And if the posts exist outside of my blog, such as in a public Tumblr search or public Tumblr tag, they can be recovered.  This happened yesterday, when I was unable to recover my own pinned post on desktop, but my friend was able to find it because ze searched the name of one of my sideblogs in public Tumblr search.

anyway. That's crazy. And it really shows that this website is ductaped together.

now, I don't want to submit any kind of report about this. Because I'm worried that they'll patch the ability for me to hide posts on my desktop theme. And I really don't want them to do that because I am very happy with my configuration that the blinkies are a mobile-only phenomenon.

but like. i still wanted to tell this as an anecdote because. what the fuck

[awiola]

Normal update, summer XXIII

RNG said to write the year in roman so here it is.

September is upon us so it's time for an update. I think I'll make them a seasonal[?] thing so there's actually enough to write about.

Let's start with failures ✨

My great, glorious and magnificient sunofes game with scifi elements is postponed indefinitely. I had some ideas but wasn't sure how to continue during certain moments so it's shelved for now. I still find the idea cool, or at least relaxing, so it's going to be finished eventually.

The spooktober idea has changed. Though I suppose that's not considered a failure? I realised that it's too big to create in a month and combining it with mushroom jam would feel kind of forced so it's also temporarily shelved. I'll talk about the new project later.

It came to my attention that most of my web builds don't display properly on mobile and require [not so] minor gui adjustments. I plan to take care of that this year if possible and also finish properly whatever project had some elements missing [like a CG, for example].

That's it for failures, time for other stuff.

Mushroom jam has officially started today.

It lasts three months so there's still time to join even after spooktober and such. As of writing this post, 236 people have joined so maybe we'll get 50 entries if it goes well.

Next year we'll have Insect (Adjacent) jam, lasting probably two months and starting around late summer. The exact date is tbd. Same with the jam's page so no link for now.

Current game stuff

[Apparently tumblr's html does not allow h3, interesting... ]

Other [secret] projects are going more or less as before, though I joined yet another one as a cg artist because I have absolutely no self restraint. It's not for a jam, though, so I can be prety chill with it. Can't really share the details yet but it's about ace teens. Look forward to it[?].

As I mentioned before, the spooktober project has changed. And separated so I'm also making something for mushroom jam later. Mushroom Game is still undecided but there's a strong chance it might be hanahaki inspired. But who knows, it could still change. I have three main contenders, might gain even more...

Spooktober Game is planned to be a surrealist dark comedy scifi [but unfunny cause I'm not funny]. How much it'll fit the genre - who knows. I'll definitely try.

I'm solo devving in case something went wrong; the character designs, however, were done by someone else as I can't decide on the general graphic design. I read a book on that so hopefully it helps me create better ui than before.

Plot wise it's inspired by many things but the structure is more like that of Liar Liar, Lily's day off or Pervert&Yandere. Basically save at every choice. I'll also prepare a handy flowchart for anyone interested as I'm using it to plan stuff anyway and name labels. The whole thing is supposed to be at least somewhat significantly chaotic but as usual, I ended up adding too many grounded[?] elements? Stuff that makes it less surrealist than I planned... I think it might actually change into a time loop story, even... Well, we'll see. I'll get a fun tester to see if it's okay or should be scrapped and rewritten.

Besides that... There's stuff I won't mention yet in case it never happened but I may or may not have some projects prepared for the future~~ But that's for the future.

Over.

[red-taileddolphin]

how the fuck did you type an interrobang on the G post

I’ve got a scant few special characters saved as shortcuts on my phone, but the real answer is you can just copy paste any of them from google. Unicode has some real funky characters that basically every screen can display, and some of them are even famous here in tumblr, like the sinhalese amogus or dick hieroglyphic. Here are some special characters I have shortcutted:

Interrobang ‽: yeah this one’s a good one. my shortcut for this is literally ?! so to get them separate I have to manually tell it not to autocorrect it

Shrug ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: I use shrugg as my shortcut and let me tell you NO emoji can get across this emotion. sometimes you just gotta ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Lenny face ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): you know it, you love it, my shortcut is degdeg thanks to that one tumblr post where someone used a screenreader on the face

Special comma ‚: okay now we’re getting spicy. so tumblr doesn’t let you put commas in tags, right? it separates the tag when you type on on mobile and on both mobile and desktop all commas you type in the tags disappear. But they only specifically check for The Comma, unicode U+002C. But as mentioned unicode has some specific as hell characters, like the small comma or raised comma. I believe I use the small comma, accessed with my shortcut commma.

Bonus round: boii is a link to my longest yeah boi ever, goodshit is that copypasta with all the emojis, and eyee is for judging people ,’:-|. apparently I also have shwa saved in case I need a ə? alright

[homesception]

May 31, 2013 - part 1: wherein Lobac eats a cookie.

To be fair, it has been like two hundred years since my last update.  That’s a pretty good nap.  Just means I’m all the more rested to work on new stuff, right?  I mean, I need to keep a spritely pace up if I still plan on catching up to Lobac’s liveblog before said liveblog catches up to the comic.  Which for sure is still an actual thing at all, and not a bit of exclusive humor between friends.

Last time Lobac was getting into some theory crafting and analysis of the classpect system.  I didn’t have much to say about that at the time, particularly not much that wouldn’t qualify as spoilers, so iirc I was mostly just responding with random thoughts and video links, half of which are dead now.  There was a bit left over looking at the troll’s perster names, which was also good stuff, but lacking anything coherent to say about it, I’ll just gloss past the rest of that post, apart from:

Lobac said:

Thank you all for sticking around °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

As if you could ever get rid of me.  ~{@PQ}~

Moving on, we rejoin the comic with PM visiting the Black Queen to retrieve the mysterious GREEN PACKAGE, which had been impounded by agents of the Black Court as a result of a traffic violation.  The Black Queen cuts an imposing figure, and Lobac is, of course, duly imposed.

later, Lobac said:

Are those… tentacles ( ´ _ ｀) I thought only the imps were affected by the prototypings?

OH SHIT OH SHIT THAT LOOKS SO COOL HOT DAMN (゜▽゜) Wowow look at her joints! Look at all the carapace-y stuff going on there!

These days, Lobac’s soft spot for this particular sort of shiny, black, possibly betentacled monster-type aesthetic is well documented.  I’m pretty sure she would have loved the black queen’s design even if it wasn’t just objectively cool as hell, but that certainly doesn’t hurt.  I’m kind of sad that we never got a proper fight scene out of this particular version of her.

That’s not a spoiler is it?  I’m pretty sure that’s not a spoiler.

Yeah, the random objects the kids threw in the general directions of their seizuresprites are directly affecting the final boss. NOTHING COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG HERE EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE

I don’t see the problem here.  Nothing the kids could possibly put in those sprites could be at all unsettling or dangerous.

haa haa.  hee hee.  hoo hoo.

Her face is so weird though It’s Jaspers-shaped, and her eyes are constantly narrowed, I can’t even tell whether it’s in distaste or amusement

Why not both?

Andrew sure is proud of that hand’s close-up She’s not even dramatically pointing she’s literally just saying “yeah I dunno anything about that kinda shit you best go down there and ask my pretty princess, I mean, subordinate”

It is a pretty great hand, honestly.  I think this particular image gets called back to a few more times yet.

Yeah Rose! You go and fulfill your as of yet unclear vaguely Seering-related destiny

Yeah, Rose!  Get on that, maybe!

ROSE NO YOU ARE 13 THAT IS GONNA TASTE AWFUL TO YOU Heh I legitimately don’t know whether her mom would be proud of or disappointed in her if she could see her now Is this an act of defiance or emulation Just silly teenage antics, probably, but I’d like to think she misses her

Rooooooose Rose nooooooooooooooooo （ ´ω｀） Ehehe I love how the artstyle turns super silly to reflect how upset/surprised she is

These two panels constitute one of the most iconic funny moments in the comic.  It works really well.  Shoot, I should have done the post topper-edit based on these, huh?  Oh, well.  The one I already did took like four hours, mostly due to my extreme rustiness, so I’m not going back now.

Otherwise, I also like to think of Rose missing her mom here.  Maybe not admitting it to herself, but still.  I also still ascribe to the “everything Mom ever did was 110% unironic, Rose made up the whole passive aggressive conflict between them in her head, her mom wasn’t passive agressive she was just a bonkers drunk rich lady” headcannon that I think I spoke about ages ago in this very liveblog.

Anyway, yeah, this is both a hilarious joke and a fantastic little character moment for Rose.  Another contributing factor to Rose being my big early favorite with a seemingly insurmountable head start in the ‘best character’ race.

Actually, lately, since the end of the comic, she’s been gaining ground again for me?  I mean, one of the trolls definitely surpassed her for most of my Homestuck fan life, but... eh, whatever.  There’s no way I can getting into how my feelings about those characters developed over the comics life without being way more spoilery than even I’ve already been, so that kind of talk will have to wait for later.  Even if later means ‘years from now’ or ‘never’.

BOO FUCKING YAH, IT’S THE WHITE QUEEN Or Windswept Questant, for now She’s also as of yet uncorrupted by the kids’ silly sprite shenanigans

Lobac had been waiting for this reveal for a while, I think.

PM: Command John to put the carved tablet into a pyxis.

You follow the command telling you to command John to put the carved tablet in the pyxis and type, “John, put the carved tablet into the pyxis.” You successfully do that, and he successfully does that too. Everyone is friendly and cooperative.

Ah yes, you so rarely get this kind of friendly cooperation from narrators these days

It was a rather uncommonly tidy sequence, for this comic.

Shit I just remembered those typing hands we saw when trying to name Jack, the reader is like a physically present entity??? Maybe???

What prompted this thought?  The earlier black queen hand image hanging in your head, then a bit about narrators entering text, and that old bit just pops up?  It’s cool how brains work, making intuitive connections and all that.

What if we eventually zoom out to reveal a human exile commanding everyone. We’ve only been watching that human mess around up until now. The real story begins when they just suddenly go “whelp that was kinda fun. gotta look for food tho” at an incredibly dramatic moment.They turn away from the console.  And then we watch them slump through the desert for thousands of pages and their journey of introspective self-discovery is the actual story. Yes.

Shit, Lobac just predicted the whole narrative!  No point in continuing this liveblog, I guess.  “[#P%]t

Well, obviously this means that WV has an uncanny knack for distances and PM has one for sounds AR can probably track down crimes by their scent He’s like McGruff the Crime Dog, but a little less fluffy

I used to love McGruff the Crime Dog.  Until I grew up and realized he was a tool of THE MAN.

dear gOD SHE REALLY IS PUTTING JACK IN DRESSES (*≧▽≦)ﾉｼ He and Slick are basically the same person, right? Oh man he is gonna stab the shit out of her one of these days

~{%|%}~

Jack Noir, more like JACK NO. NO YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE OUT THERE MURDERING PEOPLE AND FROLICKING THROUGH THE STREETS WITH YOUR ASSHOLE CREW. WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS IS PATHETIC o(`д´ ｡)

I’d say this is a “be careful what you wish for” moment, but I think Lobac knew exactly what she was doing here.

Ticket? Oh, this thing. Ha, ha, look at that, you are holding a ticket. How did that get in your hand? It belongs on the desk with the others. No, you are not here to pay a parking ticket. You explain to the frightening man that you are here to pick up that green parcel.

GIVE ME A C! GIVE ME A U! GIVE ME A T AND I AND E! sheeEEEE’S A CUTIE!!!!

Honestly, they’re all cuties.  the cuteness of the entire cast, even the villains mostly, in both visual depiction and personality, really is a big selling point of the whole comic.

There was a time when I wasn’t super into cute things.  I was never viscerally opposed to cuteness, never when through a virulently anti-girly-stuff phase, but these days I’m MUCH more into things being cute.  I just like cute characters!  Sure, I like things that are somber and spooky, but the best is when they’re somber and spooky AND super cute!

Like, Hollow Knight.  That whole game is like exactly my favorite aesthetic these days.  Sad and morose and dark and adorable.

But more often than not homestuck still comes pretty close to that ideal.  You just want to hug the shit out of all of these doofuses, a few stab wounds here or there be damned.  Speaking of stab wounds...

WHOOPS TENSION. THIS IS NOT WHAT I MEANT. I DO NOT ACTUALLY WANT YOU TO START KILLING PEOPLE OK

Maybe Lobac didn’t know what she was asking for earlier.

Wait, the crowns, what the fuck, he wants her to KILL THE KING AND QUEEN??? SHE���S JUST A MAIL LADY ヾ(´･-･｀)ノ”

How does he even know she’s desperate enough to kill people just to get one package?

The PARCEL MISTRESS departs with her mission of double agency. You wonder if she’ll actually be so foolish as to attempt to uphold her end of the lopsided bargain. You make a policy of handing out a REGISWORD and a HITLIST to just about everyone who enters your office. But you never think anyone’s actually going to GO THROUGH with it. 

What a phenomenal asshole That explains that

pretty much.  As for the box itself...

Yeeeeah you’re not actually gonna show me so, go ahead, taunt me, get it over with

PFFFFPFPFPFPFFF WHAT SOMETHING COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS APPARENTLY? NOT AS RIDICULOUS AS HIS FACE THO. Magnificent asshole cutie

Hahah, \[&P%]/

Anyway, at this point the action cuts back to the kids, and that seems a good a time as any to take a break.  I could just save this as a draft and finish the rest of lobac’s post later?  I mean, then I wouldn’t have to take extra time for another panel edit?  But I kind of want to post something now, so I guess well do this one in parts again.  part 2 scheduled for, let’s be ambitious and say may 2022

How did I ever use to have the time for this blogging shit?  I’ve been working on this for like six hours, and only got like a third of the way through one update?  I guess I was just younger then.

I’m so old now.  Time just gets away from me.

And my back hurts all the time.

[harwinsgirl]

The White Sheep - Harwin Strong X Reader

You are the second born daughter of King Viserys, often referred to as the White Sheep, as you are too pure to be reminiscent of the black and red colors of your family. You fall in love with your personal guard, Harwin Strong. But when he rejects you, you seek to mend your broken heart in the streets of Kings Landing.

(This is the first fic I’m posting on tumblr! Apologies if the formatting is wacky because I’m on mobile! Hope you like it! Angst with a happy ending because I’m a sucker for it, also slight violence/creepy assholes are mentioned)

The evening had been a long one. A feast, followed by rounds of drinking and dancing, welcomed esteemed guests to Kings Landing. Many of them had hoped to grab either yours or your older sister Rhaenyra’s attention. After all, being one of the daughters of the ailing king who had no sons to offer his realm, it became apparent that one of you would rule the Seven Kingdoms one day, at least for a time. Men salivated at the thought of the wealth and prosperity that would be promised by your hand in marriage. All who tried to win your hearts failed miserably, each attempt fizzling out quicker than the one before it as the two of you grew weary of the men vying for your time. You gave up long before your sister and you tried not to note the look of disappointment on your father’s face when you asked for your personal guard, Ser Harwin, to escort you to your chambers. He certainly did not believe the lie you fed him about having caught a chill from the night air, but after several goblets of wine, the king could not have argued if he wanted to. At least not articulately.

Usually you and your knight would discuss the suitors (and all of their shortcomings) in much detail on the walk back into the castle. There would be laughter and giggles and you would fall into a similar stride before you bid each other goodnight. Sometimes he would even sneak in for a nightcap, enjoying a drink or two and spending time conversing with you until the early hours of the morning. However, this time was different.

This event felt more serious to you. There were men that spoke to you with a tone that was entirely too comfortable, as if they expected that you would accept a proposal if it were offered. They knew certain things that you liked, or didn’t. It was clear that someone was feeding them information in an attempt to make you feel more at ease in their presence. Your father wanted you married, and you couldn’t deny him much longer. But deep down you knew that you didn’t want to marry any of the lords on display tonight. The brazen ones, the old lords with aging hair or the young ones full of bravado and unchecked confidence, the ones who couldn’t hide their interest in the jewels you wore, and even the ones who seemed perfectly nice and proper.

You wanted to marry your knight.

Ser Harwin.

Your feelings for him were strong and they always had been. The day you two became introduced was seared into your memory. Curly brown hair that fell above his shoulders, deep cerulean eyes, a voice as gentle as honey but at the same time rough like the sand. You were transfixed. But if he were simply just handsome, your feelings might have been fleeting, chased away by thoughts of your respective duties. But Harwin was so much more than his looks. He was charming and he had a quick wit about him. Aside from your sister, you rarely had the pleasure of interacting with someone who wasn’t afraid of showing you their true personality, and Harwin was always his authentic self. He was courteous and kind but also lively, full of quips and quiet barbs that never failed to make you laugh. Your personal guard soon became your dearest friend and confidant, and your love only grew deeper from there.

You had been described as the white sheep of your family. Typically one would say black, but you were always described as pure and chaste, the traditional black and red colors of your family not matching your nature. Even your fury had a quietness to it. Having a fiery firstborn sister like Rhaenyra meant that you were hardly noticed or mentioned as an afterthought. Which hardly bothered you, as the freedom your sister so badly craved was almost second nature to you. Although still bound by duty and shackled by royalty, you were afforded much more privacy, whether you chose to hide in the expanse of a library or the greens of the gardens. There was a comfort in aloneness, but there were times where it was too much to bear, where it started to creep into the territory of being forgotten. But Harwin chased away any feelings of loneliness simply by being in the room with you. He made you feel seen, appreciated, even loved.

“We have arrived, princess.” Harwin said quietly, breaking you from your thoughts. Something was off about him too. He hadn’t said a word the whole way back to your room. You didn’t know if you should take comfort in that or not.

“So we have.” You felt a sudden rush of adrenaline course through you, like a flash of fire in your belly. He had to know how you felt. And if not now, then when? Time to talk of these matters was beginning to dwindle, and you knew it. “Would you join me for a moment, Ser Harwin?”

He hesitated. There was a playfulness between you two that he had to come to expect. If things were still truly lighthearted in nature, you wouldn’t have had to ask. You would’ve grabbed him by the arm and dragged him inside already. The first time you had done so he was rightfully alarmed, squabbling about the indecency of it all, but it became such a regular occurrence that he began to just shake his head and take his place in one of the tufted arm chairs that adorned your room.

“The hour has grown late. You should retire soon, princess.” He said gently.

“Please ser,” your voice was heavy and thick with emotion, “I must talk with you.”

Harwin sighed and made a motion for you to enter first. He closed the door behind the two of you and stood in front of it.

The fire inside you started to die, washed away with waves of dread. You didn’t know how to broach the subject, and so you stood there awkwardly, wringing your hands until you mustered the courage to speak. “My father wishes for me to marry.”

Harwin nodded in agreement. “Every man wishes to see his daughter contented with marriage. You knew this day would come. Your father has more at stake compared to others in this same situation. Of course he’s going to try and introduce you to suitors, princess.”

“I do not wish to marry them. I do not love them.”

“My lady-“

“I love you, Ser Harwin.”

Harwin’s expression was unreadable. He had never looked so serious, at least in your presence. You watched him swallow and clear his throat, shifting uncomfortably against the door. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before flashing you a small smile. “You flatter me, princess.”

It wasn’t the reaction you were hoping for, but you were undeterred. “I do not intend flatter you ser. I only speak the truth. I love you, Harwin Strong. I want to be your wife.” You approached him and took one of his gloved hands, placing it against your cheek as you looked up at him. He let out a heavy sigh, closing his eyes again as he stroked your cheek softly. You leaned into his touch and took another step closer, only to be met with him pulling his hand back to place it gingerly on your shoulder, holding you in place.

“My princess, I’m afraid you may be confusing love with infatuation.” Harwin spoke barley above a whisper. His expression was pained, which did nothing to ease the sensation of your heart breaking. “You are so young. There are men who are more suited to be your partner than me. You’ll come to understand this.”

“Very well ser. I thank you for your time and honesty,” you said politely, a fake smile plastered over your face. Of course he didn’t love you. Why hadn’t you seen it before? You were too young, too inexperienced for a man like him. He thought nothing more of you than a silly girl with a crush. Worse, he probably only thought of you as a job, a chore, a burden. All of those memories of his company that once brought you great happiness were tainted with the thought of him counting down the minutes until he could leave. You would not waste his time any longer, you decided.

“The hour has grown late, as you said. I shall bid you goodnight.” You turned and faced the fireplace, hot tears streaming down your face. You bit down on your lip to swallow a sharp cry that threatened to spill forth. Despite your best efforts, Harwin knew immediately how upset you were. He took a step closer to you and began to speak again.

“Princess-“

“Goodnight, Ser Harwin.” You said coldly, not turning to look at him.

You heard the sound of Harwin’s armor clinking softly as he bowed. The creak of the door signaled his exit. Only then did you collapse onto the floor and let out a sob that wracked your whole body. Tears continued to spill until no more could come forth. Your eyes felt heavy, and soon sleep overcame you.

You refused to be seen by your handmaidens the next morning. You also refused breakfast. The only good thing about this affliction of the heart was that it gave credence to your “chill of the night” excuse that you gave your father the evening before.

You did not leave your room the entire day.

When the day had waned and night was beginning to fall, someone knocked on the door and inquired about dinner. Your stomach rumbled at the thought but your appetite immediately soured at the thought of Harwin being outside the door. You declined dinner as well.

Your sister insisted on a maester being sent in to examine you but you managed to charm your way out of that as well. You just wanted to be alone.

You walked over to your window at one point and took in a view of the kingdom as it lit up the dark.

Harwin had practically implied that you were too inexperienced to be his woman. That you were a spoiled, privileged princess that did not know anything of the real world.

That was going to change, tonight.

You sent word for one of your handmaidens to see you at once. You gnawed at your fingernails as the moments passed until finally you heard a small timid knock at your door. You practically pulled her inside by her arm, closing the door quickly in case your knight was waiting outside.

“My lady, we have been worried about you today.” The handmaiden spoke softly. “Are you ill? Can I send for anything for you?”

“I just need your clothes.” You said quickly, trying to ease the confused look on her face with a dismissive wave. “I promise I will take good care of them. I will give you one of my jeweled necklaces as a thank you. This means a lot to me.”

Excited by the promise of your jewelry, the young girl nodded furiously and started to disrobe. You gave her one of your nightdresses to change into and told her to wait several moments before returning to her quarters. After she left, you took great care into tucking your hair into the white cap that she had left you. It amazed you that once you had hidden your signature Targaryen locks and changed your dress that you went from Princess of Dragonstone to handmaiden, all except for the hint of lilac in your eyes.

Your sister had taught you how to escape from the Red Keep before, and even though it had been years, you weaved through the damp tunnels expertly. Once you were outside the main gates, you paused. This was the farthest you had ever gotten before. Rhaenyra was much more adventurous than you, and after she failed to persuade you to join her, she would take off anyway. You admired her fearlessness as you watched her disappear down the road until she was out of sight. You would always wait for her to return, curled up in a cloak as the night air nipped at you. She never chided you for not coming. If anything, when she would come back she would reward you with some little trinket, joking that you were the better of the two and you deserved something for it.

Your sister would have an entire evening of freedom and exhilaration, and you would choose the comfort of the steps of your home, every time.

Not this time.

You hurriedly rushed down the same road your sister took all those years ago, your fears and doubts biting at your insides until you reached the outskirts of Kings Landing. The darkness of night ebbed away with torches and lanterns that were lit in the city streets. You were amazed at how many people were up at the late hour. Men and women drinking, laughing, crowding the roads as they made their way towards taverns and street shows. Vendors offering cooked meats and shoddy jewelry. Drunkards spitting and coughing up their wine, couples intertwined and dancing as bards filled the night air with love songs. It was all too much, too fast, but you were determined to drink it up. Hesitant, you were light on your feet as you took in all of the sights as fast as you could, maneuvering through different alleys as you continued your journey. The farther away you were from home, the better you began to feel. A caged princess, finally experiencing life. Gone were the thoughts of a dutiful, handsome knight who wanted nothing to do with you, banished by the adrenaline of new sights and sounds. You rounded a corner and found yourself in an alleyway that seemed far less lit than the others you came from.

“A handmaiden? A bit surprising to see one of you out and about, aren’t you supposed to stay inside the Red Keep at all times?” You froze, turning to find the owner of the low, ominous voice. A man, who couldn’t be that much older than you, was leaning against a back wall, most of his form still shrouded in darkness.

“Excuse me sir?” You said, internally wincing at how meek you sounded.

“You’re a servant. You’re supposed to stay put, in case you need to serve.” He pushed himself off of the wall and made his way over to you. The first thing you noticed about him was his smell, his breath reeked of ale. Still, the way he approached you was similar to a wolf stalking it’s prey, and you began to feel fear pooling in the pit of your stomach. You hadn’t thought to bring a weapon.

“I’ve seen a few of you out before during the day, fetching things for your ladies. But what could you be doing out in the city during an hour so late? You must’ve snuck out, haven’t you?” He snaked one hand around your waist, drumming his fingers against the velvet skirt of your gown.

“Leave me alone, ser. I have places to be.” You said firmly.

“Insolent. I pity you though, such a pretty little thing without anyone to protect her. I’ll make sure you get home safe, in exchange for your company for the rest of the night.” He smirked, tightening his grip on you. Frantically, you turned your head to look for any passerby to scream for. Immediately sensing your distress, his hand gripped your neck tightly in attempt to silence you before you could try.

“Brat. I’ll remind you what it means to serve.” He snarled.

A quick flash of silver appeared before your eyes before you heard the soft squelch of flesh. Scarlet blood splattered against the white cream fabric of your corset. The man’s hand had been sliced clean off with a sword. He let out the loudest howl you had ever heard as he collapsed back onto the dirt. Quickly, you turned to face the man who attacked him and your blood ran cold. Harwin Strong was wiping his sword clean with a cloth, glaring down at the sniveling man with the burning hatred of a thousand suns. You had never seen this blind fury from him before. You stood rooted to the spot, partly in fear from what would happen next.

“I would say unhand the lady, but I took the liberty of doing that for you.” Harwin spat at him, taking your arm forcefully. “You are lucky no more will come from this, rapist. If the lady wasn’t present, you would have a lot more to lose.”

Harwin’s grip on you was painful but you were too scared to do anything more than follow him as he weaved his way through the crowds, signaling his approach with a grunt to warn others to move out of his way. You earned a couple of a looks from different folk, some of them murmuring about what trouble you must be in for a white cloak to have apprehended you. You tried your best to hide under your bonnet and keep your eyes focused on the road ahead of you. Your night of freedom had nearly cost you your virtue and you were in a significant amount of trouble, should Harwin choose to rat you out to your father.

The sounds of the city began to dwindle as the two of you started to get closer to the castle walls. Harwin had yet to acknowledge you, save the vice grip he continued to have on your arm. Timidly, you began to test the waters. You tapped on his shoulder and waited for him to turn around, to no avail.

You cleared your throat. “Harwin?”

“We are not speaking.” Was his reply.

“What?”

“I said no speaking. I am so angry with you that I do not trust my words.” He said plainly, almost indifferently. Anger started to bubble inside you.

Why the hell was he angry with you? He made it abundantly clear that he did not return your affections. You had spent the entire day pouring over your time together, and each memory led to the realization that you were the instigator. You asked him to be your guard. You asked for his company. You pulled him into your chambers for more time with him, and he used to object to it before giving in to your whims. You were blind to it before, but it was evident that you had essentially held the man hostage in your life. And you wanted no more of it.

“Angry with me? Why? What I do in my own time is no business of yours-“

“Except that it is!” He roared. I am your knight, your sworn protector, and you left the safety of the Keep! How the hell is that not my business?”

Your eyes widened.

You had forgotten to send your letter.

“I am so sorry ser,” you said timidly. Your eyes were cast down, so you didn’t notice the way he flinched at your formality and the softness of your voice. “It slipped my mind this day, I genuinely was not feeling well. I had written a letter to my father, asking for you to be absolved of this role.”

Stunned, Harwin could only watch as your wrought your hands together with nervousness. “Please do not be angry. I did not write anything that would implicate that you did not perform your duties well. In fact, I asked if you could be promoted to the Commander of the City Watch. You would be an excellent commander, even now I can see how well you can handle the brutishness of the city. It would mean a higher wage and nicer quarters as well.” You stopped and looked at him in the eyes. “I only want good things for you, Ser Harwin. Many thanks for taking such good care of me these years. Gods know that you are due for a promotion after all this time in a position you never asked for, nor wanted. I should’ve vouched for you a lot sooner, and spared you from my company.”

“I decline.” He said, firmly.

“I must insist,” you said, smiling sadly. “Again, I am sorry I did not realize sooner.”

“Realize what, may I ask, princess?” Harwin said with an exasperated sigh.

“That you detest me.” You said, cocking your head to the side with confusion. Then you righted yourself, as you had another epiphany. “I know why you are upset.”

“Wha-“

“You are slighted because I am a woman and I am deciding your future, is that not correct? If you do not need my letter-“

“No more talking.” Harwin said bristly. He took your arm and took you off the path towards the Red Keep, which you could see looming in the distance. He led you through a dense thicket, pushing at branches as he made his way to a small creek that bubbled past calmly. It seemed like he knew this area and had been here before. To your surprise, he placed both hands on your shoulder to keep you steady before dropping to his knees in front of you.

“First, my lady, please do not ever insinuate again that I would ever take offense at a woman acting in my interest. A woman brought me into this world. I have nothing but respect for your kind, and I would’ve hoped that you knew that of my character.”

Before you could speak, he took both of your hands in his and squeezed gently, a silent plea for you to let him finish. “I know that what I said last night has planted seeds of doubt in your mind. And for that, I am sorry. What I said was not a rejection, or a dismissal, despite what you may have felt. In good conscience, when I thought about the differences of our statuses, and what I could offer you, I deemed it was best to gently remove myself from your consideration. I could not imagine that being the heir to Harrenhal was enough to persuade your father into taking me as a son-in-law. I wanted to save both of us the anguish of being told we could not love each other.”

He looked down momentarily, only to meet with your eyes again, tears starting to form as he spoke with thick emotion. “But by the gods, was I wrong. I hate myself for implying that your love for me could be fleeting. The sounds of your crying pricked at my heart and I wanted nothing more than to hold you in my arms. Knowing that I had done that to you, it still wounds me, even now.”

He sniffled and shook his head slightly, casting aside the tears that fell. You were still absolutely bewildered by this encounter. Harwin had shared many sides of himself that you were certain many were not as fortunate to see, but you had never seen him so emotional. You had surely never seen him cry.

He cleared his throat and continued again once he regained composure. “When I first came to the estate, I knew I wanted purpose, in whatever form that it came in. But in my short time in Kings Landing, I had already begun to detest it. The nobles were stuffy and the townsfolk deplorable, in a general sense. I was surrounded by so much filth. I found small pockets to escape in, such as this one, and I found beauty in them, but I was not tasked with defending a creek. But I knew I could do my job well enough, no matter the circumstances.”

“And then I met you. The tamest Targaryen. The quiet beauty. Very obviously overlooked, and I could tell in a sense that you enjoyed that. But the way your eyes met mine, that first day we met, it was like you were asking me to know you, and instantly it felt like I had. I don’t think you know this, but I asked to be your guard before you requested it.”

The look on your face confirmed that for him, and he continued. “I knew instantly I had found my purpose. To guard the rarest gem. To keep you safe, to love you in all the ways I could. Listening to you recite poetry and bringing you small plates when you grew hungry. Guiding you to your chambers after long nights. You were absolutely divine and I swore to defend you no matter what.”

“Do you think me a child, Ser Harwin?” You asked quietly. His words were as sweet as cherry wine, but you also worried that perhaps his love was not romantic, but more born from duty and respect. You were after all, the white sheep, and it would make sense for a man as honorable as Harwin to be drawn to you, only to become devoted to your protection.

Harwin smiled and brought one of your hands to kiss it. “Not in the slightest my lady. There’s a difference between being demure and innocent and being naive. You are no child, you are no fool. I only refused your offer because I thought you deserved better. Never because I doubted your conviction. In my attempt to be gentle, I made you feel so low about yourself. Again, I am sorry.”

“What do we do now?” You said softly, staring back into his deep blue eyes. “You do not want to join the city watch, but you do not want my hand-“

“My dearest love, I have rambled on for far too long, because the reason I am on my knees is to ask for your hand.” Harwin said plainly. You let out a small gasp as Harwin produced a small ring, embedded with a white gem in the center.

“Targaryen red never suited you my love, I hope a diamond will suffice.” He said with a grin.

“You are asking me to be your wife?” You said, a hint of incredulousness in your voice.

“Yes my dear lady. Exactly as you said. I am asking you. Your opinion matters most. I will deal with our fathers after the fact, but this is and should be your decision. It may take convincing but ultimately I do believe your father loves you enough to ensure your happiness. I just may need to bring you along to sing my praises.” Harwin held up the ring to you again. “Please, my greatest love. Honor me by allowing me to be your husband. Forgive me for being a fool and denying you. I swear to be yours and only yours for as long as I live.”

You nodded and extended your hand for him, allowing him to slide the ring onto your finger. When you let out a small, happy giggle, a huge grin washed over his face as he stood up and lifted you in his arms, spinning you around as he held you close. His lips were upon yours in an instant, flooding you with a feeling of warmth as he pressed kiss after kiss to your lips, leaving them red and tender.

“I have the most beautiful lady wife in the seven kingdoms!” He practically howled.

When he put you down, his smile faded into a tight line. “Who is also in a world of trouble, sneaking off into the city. That is the first and only time you pull a stunt like that. You will never cause me such grief again.”

“I am sorry, lord husband.” You said wrapping your arms around him and resting against his chest.

“You mustn’t look at me with those big beautiful eyes. I forget my anger when you look at me like that.” He said quietly, his fingers cradling your face.

“You’ve told me your weakness, Harwin. Now that is your mistake.” You said with a grin. He peered down at you and pressed his forehead to yours.

“I’m beginning to suspect you are not as pure as you present yourself, dear lady of mine.”

“I never was.”

[thecassadilla]

Hi Cass! I'd love to read #3 "I think I love you" for kristanna. Regards 😘

Hi, Angie!!! I really hope you like this fic!!! 🥰 It’s a modern au. I apologize if the formatting is wonky, I had to post this using tumblr mobile. Special thanks to @tamorasky for helping me with this one!!

3. “I think I love you.” Send me a prompt!

The first time Anna told Kristoff that she loved him was on their third date.

He’d just returned to the table she had been saving for them at the local hamburger joint, setting down a tray of burgers and fries and milkshakes in the space in front of her for them to gorge themselves on. Anna had been talking about how hungry she was since he’d picked her up, and apparently, finally setting eyes on the tray of food had been enough for her to proclaim her affections for him.

“I think I love you,” she said, beaming at him with sparkling eyes.

Kristoff was completely taken aback by how easily the words slipped out of her mouth, barely able to focus on anything other than his shaking hands and racing mind and whether or not he should say it back to her. Even though the thought of Anna telling him that she loved him was enough to make his heart drum like a heavy metal rock song, there were two problems. The first was that they’d only been on three official dates and he knew there was no way she could already be in love with him. The second, which was directly tied to the first, was the possibility that she was actually talking about the food and not about him - as soon as she’d taken the first bite of her cheeseburger, she seemed to completely forget about what she’d said, instead talking about how good the food was and how she waited all day for this moment.

But Kristoff didn’t forget. How could he?

The next time she said something similar wasn’t too long after the burger joint incident, but it involved a completely different set of circumstances. He had been expecting to spend a boring evening at home by himself, but his mood was instantly brightened when his phone started ringing and he saw Anna’s name displayed across the screen. With a smile, he answered the phone, only for Anna’s voice to urgently come through the speaker before he could even say “hello.”

“Kristoff, it’s an emergency!”

Less than an hour later, he found himself standing in the feminine hygiene products aisle of the grocery store, completely overwhelmed by all the options on the shelf. Nervously, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed Anna, hoping she’d be able to point him in the right direction.

“I’m really out of my realm of expertise here,” he chuckled nervously. “Which ones do you need?”

“Just the regular kind.”

His eyes scanned over the shelves. “Um...what does regular mean?”

“Like...regular!” was her unhelpful answer. “Just get the pink box that says ‘regular’ on it.”

“There are a lot of pink boxes.”

“It’s on the bottom shelf, usually.”

He squatted down, squinting at the tiny font before finally locating the one she seemed to be talking about - or so he hoped. “Okay, I got it. Do you need anything else?”

“Midol,” she answered quickly. “And chocolate ice cream!”

“Got it.”

“You’re the best!”

After gathering the rest of the items she needed and garnering a look of sympathy from the cashier in the checkout lane, he set off to Anna’s house. Before he could knock on her front door, but with his hand poised and ready to, it swung open.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Anna exclaimed, grabbing the plastic shopping bag from his hand and rising up on her toes to pepper kisses over his face. “I love you!”

Kristoff blushed. “Oh, I -”

But in a flash, she was running towards the bathroom, calling to him from over her shoulder. “I owe you one!”

And in an instant, his heart had plummeted to the pit of his stomach.

A bit of time passed before another L-word incident occurred. One late night phone call and a drive to a nightclub later, and Anna was sitting in the passenger seat of his truck, drunk out of her mind after a night out with her girlfriends.

“Tonight was so fun,” Anna slurred. “I had the best time ever.”

Kristoff chuckled, tearing his eyes away from the road for a moment to peer over at her. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, but it’s so much better now that I’m with you,” she said, a high-pitched giggle escaping her lips as she placed a hand on his bicep. “You’re my favorite person.”

“Am I?” he asked, unable to hide his growing smile.

“Uh huh. Whenever I’m around you, the butterflies in my belly don’t stop fluttering and I think…” she trailed off, hiccuping. “I think that means that I love you.”

Kristoff swerved the truck at her confession, instantly grateful that there was no one else on the road at that hour and that an accident had been avoided. Though he was unsure of what to say, opened his mouth to respond, only to be cut off by Anna continuing.

In a way, he was glad that she hadn’t given him the opportunity to respond because he didn’t know what exactly he’d respond with, but the thought lingered in his head. The more he thought about it, the more he wanted to tell her that he felt the same way - that he felt the butterflies, too, and that he loved her - but the words died in his throat. She continued chatting throughout the duration of the drive, and when he finally pulled up to his apartment complex, they both climbed out of the car.

“Can you carry me?” she whimpered, raising her arms slightly and not moving from where she was standing by the car door. “My feet hurt.”

“Of course.”

He walked over and in one swift motion, swept her off of her feet and cradled her in his arms. She rested her head against his chest, clutching the fabric of his t-shirt as he carried her towards his apartment. Though it was a bit of a struggle to get the door open, he managed to get them both inside safely before heading straight for the bedroom.

“Kristoff?” Anna whispered.

He peered down at her. “Hmm?”

“Thank you for taking care of me.”

“Any time.”

“You’re so good to me.”

“You’re good to me, too,” Kristoff smiled. As gently as he could, he laid her on the bed, pushing back the sheets before sliding her high heels off of her feet. “Is that better?”

A relieved grin spread across her lips as she glanced up at him through hooded eyes. “Much better.”

“Good.” He pulled the sheets over her body before ducking down to brush her bangs out of her eyes and press a kiss to her forehead. “Try to get some sleep, okay?”

“Mmhmm,” she nodded, already close to dozing off.

He returned to his full height, smiling down at her sleeping form before turning on his heel to switch off the light.

“Kristoff?” Anna mumbled.

He peered over his shoulder just in time to catch her eyes slowly blinking open. “Yeah?”

“I love you.”

But before Kristoff could say anything back to her, her eyes closed again and she settled against the pillow. A yearning, aching feeling began to spread in his chest, knowing full well that she wouldn’t remember saying that in the morning. And though he didn’t say it out loud, the only words repeating in his brain were I love you too.

As he got himself ready for bed a little while later, he tried to rationalize every time she’d said the words “love” and “you” in the same sentence. She was drunk. It was an emergency. She was starving. Maybe she doesn’t mean it. Maybe she just says it to everyone. Maybe I’m just overthinking it.

With a sigh, Kristoff climbed into bed next to her and stared at the ceiling until his eyes finally became too tired to stay awake anymore.

Unsurprisingly, he woke up before her the next morning. She had migrated in her sleep, moving impossible close to him, one of her legs sprawled over his and her arm strewn across his chest. He laid there, unmoving, until she finally began to stir and squinted her eyes at him. Kristoff smiled. “Good morning, sunshine.”

Anna groaned, burying her face into the pillow.

“How are you feeling?”

“Gross,” she answered, her voice muffled by the pillow. After a moment, she turned to face him. “My head is pounding.”

“Let me get you some aspirin and make you some breakfast. You’ll feel better if we get some food in you.” Kristoff moved to push himself up off the mattress, but Anna pulled him back down.

“No, just…” she trailed off, nuzzling her face against his chest. “Stay here and snuggle with me.”

“Okay.” He settled back down, wrapping his arms around her and stroking her hair with his hand.

“Thank you for always being there for me.” She angled her head upwards so she could meet his gaze. “I really don’t know what I would do without you.”

He squeezed her shoulder. “I don’t know what I would do without you, either.”

“I just want you to know that I meant what I said last night,” Anna murmured.

Kristoff furrowed his eyebrows, slightly confused by what she was referring to. “What did you say?”

“I said that I love you,” she answered. “I did say it, right? I didn’t just dream it?”

“Oh. Oh.” His eyebrows shot up as he finally understood what she meant, a rush of adrenaline shooting through his veins. “You...you did.”

“Oh, okay.” She furrowed her brows for a fraction of a second. “Good.”

“I, um…” he trailed off, swallowing thickly. “I wasn’t sure if you just said it because of the alcohol o-or because you were half-asleep. I didn’t think you would remember saying it, honestly.”

“Oh...yeah, no. I mean, I was drunk and half-asleep, but I did mean it.” Anna huffed a small laugh, her eyes crinkling in the corners as she added, “I’ve meant it every time I said it. I love you, Kristoff.”

“I love you, too,” Kristoff breathed, barely able to contain the smile spreading over his lips. “I love you so much.”

And as their lips met amidst a flurry of giggles, all the doubt disappeared and all was right with the world.

[dualboot-androgynoid]

ok so I've updated my blog description now cause apparently it's been invisible on mobile the whole time??

like

the description editor allows you to use html (and by extension, css), which means you can make your bio look like this:

but for some reason, tumblr won't display it outside of your desktop page, so, on mobile (or on /blog/view pages) it just looks like this:

which is far from the optimal result.

so uh yeah I changed it now.

[crusherthedoctor]

Out all the eggman boys he pilots for battle and what not like the egg dragoon or death egg robot, what are some of your favorites? And do you have any ideas you wish he would employ in the future?

It should be mentioned that, being the Eggman fanboy that I am, I love many of them, even the simplest or shittiest ones (ie: Egg Dealer), because the aesthetic of Eggman's style really appeals to me, and the way his machines can range from goofy to intimidating, or both simultaneously, can be seen as an extension of how versatile the doctor himself is.

Still, I do have my favourites. Most of them are the ones you'd expect, but here goes:

Well you gotta start with the classic, don't you? The first of Eggman's king-sized monuments to his own visage, and more than deserving of its iconic reputation.

This one's a fan favourite when it comes to his smaller scale Egg Mobile attachments, and it's easy to understand why. It's an undeniably brilliant design that doesn't have any obvious weaknesses for armchair intellectuals to point and go "Why does this video game boss have that? That's stupid, IQ of 300 my ass, I'm such a clever internet person, please give me all your praise".

The Death Egg Robot may be the one everyone knows, but the Great Eggman Robo is the one we all strive for. Both phases of the fight may be straightforward, but the scale of the behemoth cements the tense atmosphere, and it happens to be smack dab in the middle of arguably the greatest finale in a Sonic game, which is as wonderful as it is in part due to Eggman never, ever giving up.

A more unconventional choice here. There may not be much to these two fights in particular, but I just really like the general concept of Eggman taking ancient statues or other such structures, and weaponizing them. It's a nice spin on his usual motif of converting Mother Nature to his own preference, as well as defacing ancient histories and legacies for the sake of his own.

Both of Eggman's final mechs in SA1 are awesome. The Egg Viper is a really cool design and gave birth to a certain meme, and the Egg Walker marked the climax of one of Eggman's best moments and one of Tails' best moments.

Speaking of Egg Walkers, I like this one too. Yeah, it's no secret that I don't like how Eggman - the guy known for making all sorts of crazy crafts - is stuck in one tiny thing for a whole game's duration (even though I'm aware it's for gameplay's sake, but still), but on its own merits, the Walker itself is still cool in my book.

Putting them together because they're more or less the same mech. Nothing special here, I just think they're cool "modern" interpretations of the Death Egg Robot-style humanoid mech. And yes, I know Eggman technically didn't pilot the Egg Emperor in Heroes... but he did in Generations 3DS, so get it up yee.

Another one you knew was coming. Don't we all love the Egg Dragoon? So do Sonic Team, it seems. The Dragoon is one bad mothafucka, and the way Generations added to it by incoporating an Egg Viper tail and the Egg Wyvern's wings made it even more badass. Unleashed may not be one of my favourite games in the series, but I'm thankful that it gave me this winner right here.

These two don't really have much in common (aside from the colour blue), but I put them together because thanks for nothing, Tumblr image limits.

Anyway, I've always felt the Egg Wizard deserved more recognition. The design is interesting in itself and keeps to the nautical theming of Rush Adventure, but what REALLY makes it stand out is the way it uses the power of the Jeweled Scepter, and how we get to see some crazy magic that you don't often get from Eggman robots. Like giant dragon heads made of lava, for example. And the fight is plenty enjoyable too.

As for the Time Eater, it may not have gotten much if any story to its own nature, which is a shame, but at least we got a nice clockwork motif out of it, and the way it jitters gives the impression that it's trying desperately to fight back against Eggman's control, but can't. And speaking of, Eggman FINALLY controlling a monster successfully is worth celebrating... unless you forgot like Ian Flynn apparently did, since Worlds Collide claimed he lost control of it. Typical Flynnanigans, eh?

I'm absolutely in love with the idea of Eggman being crafty enough to store a second mech inside the first one in the event of the latter's defeat. It's the perfect way to cap off Eggman's consistent display of brilliance and foresight in Forces. The designs themselves are pretty sweet, with the first one taking cues from Alfred Molina Dr. Octopus, and the second one being an eerie mess of wires and tentacles, as if it were the "heart" of the first mech. And say what you want about the so-so execution of the fight itself, but the sound design that went into it is seriously overlooked.

Just a shame they're collectively known as just Death Egg Robot, seeing how they don't have anything in common with the actual Death Egg Robot. Neither of them are even fought aboard the Death Egg. They deserve a more unique name IMO, but ah well.

Other examples I really like but couldn't use images for because of Tumblr being Tumblr:

- The Final Zone/Egg Pistons from Sonic 1, cause even though it may be smaller scale than the Death Egg Robot, I like the unique scenario of the room itself being your opponent. The final bosses of Sonic 1 and 2 on Master System have a similar appeal.

- Brass Eggman from the 2013 Sonic 2, because weaponizing an organ of all things is perfect for a man of Eggman's pride and swagger.

- The Egg Totem from Advance 2. No special reason for this one, I just like the simple yet effective design.

- The Gachapandora from Mania, because it's a great way to pay tribute to some older Eggman contraptions, and it suits his manchild personality to a tee.

- The Phantom Egg from Mania (again), because even though it looks like a romper suit mixed with a Pokeball, I really dig the concept of Eggman using a suit of robo-armor to go mano a mano, which this boss comes close to doing, if not entirely.

- The Klepto Mobile from Mania (three time's the charm), because a literal rush job still being able to go toe-to-toe with Phantom King is both incredible and hilarious at the same time. Even Eggman's shittiest efforts are his best! Is there no limit to this man's brilliance???

- Metal Robotnik/Black Eggman/Brak Eggman/Bruh Eggman from the OVA and Sonic Robo Blast 2. I don't know what the doc was thinking when he decided to give a robot based on himself some dragon wings and a spiked mohawk, but I'm glad he went through with it. The final fight with Metal Sonic may be the one everyone talks about (understandably so, it's an awesome scene), but the battle with Bruh Eggman is great too.

- The Eggpod from the movie. As far as translating the doctor's style into live action goes, it's a worthy first attempt, and it's understandable that they didn't go for something bigger since they probably want to save that for the sequel, so as to organically raise the stakes (wink wink, nudge nudge). It also reminds me of the Egg Hornet from SA1. I don't know if that was intentional, but it's something I appreciate all the same.

[chris-evans-indian-fanfic]

Longing

Chapter 1

Description: Chris Evans becomes obsessed with you when he realises he can't have you. Eager to be with you in some form or the other, he starts writing fanfiction, where both of you are passionately in love with each other. But what happens when his imagination starts to merge with his reality in his subconsciousness?

Warnings: This entire mini-series will contain smut, bad language and angst. ONLY PROCEED IF YOU ARE 18+

This first chapter is inspired by the GIF below from @navybrat817 and @stargazingfangirl18 's ShamelessHoesForChris writing challenge. Click here to know more

A/N: I do not know Chris Evans personally. This fic is a work of imagination and should only be used as such. It doesn't comment on Chris or anybody else personally. It is also not meant to destroy his reputation or paint him in a bad light. I admire the guy and he really seems like a genuinely nice person. Again, I repeat, THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION SO TREAT IT AS SUCH!

A/N 2: I did search quite a lot on the internet and didn't come across a fic like this. Which makes me nervous and also kind of excited that I get to do something unique? Please please give me your criticism and feedback on this! Would love to hear your thoughts.

A/N 3: I have used a few big words throughout the series because this fic is from Chris' POV and we all know that he's a bit of a wordsmith 😅 I had never even heard these words before in my life. So please let me know if I have used them in an incorrect manner. 

My Main Masterlist

I don’t consent to have any of my work published or featured on any third party app, website or translated. If you are seeing this fanfiction anywhere but Tumblr and AO3, it has been reposted without my permission. In that case, please do share the link and let me know.

…

The best thing about shooting Defending Jacob? Chris got to stay in his house in Boston. The worst part about working on the set? He was currently stuck in a room engulfed in hot, angry flames of fire. The fire had abruptly started due to a short circuit and spread across the set in the blink of an eye. Coughing, Chris doubled down on the floor, his breathing becoming more laboured with each second. 

The smoke stung his eyes as he looked around for a fire extinguisher. He tried calling for help, but only small grunts managed to escape his lips. Just as he was on the verge of losing consciousness, he heard a voice. Your voice.

"Is anyone here?" you called out, your voice faint in his ears. "Hello?" 

Chris tried to shout again, but only sank further towards the floor.

Luckily, you opened the door of his room and found his almost crumpled body on the ground. Using the fire extinguisher, you managed to douse as many flames as you could, while also covering Chris with a thick blanket. As the room was still filled with smoke, you pressed a wet towel on his face, asking him to breathe through his nose. 

Slowly, you managed to drag him out of the room and into the corridor, the fire reduced to embers in most places thanks to your fire extinguisher. Chris being a heavy man, you tried your best to support his weight as much as you could, your body almost stooping to form a right angle.

Just as you thought you might be in the clear, you heard a crack from above. Looking up, you realised that the ceiling was about to cave in and so, on impulse, you pushed Chris out of the way, as portions of the false ceiling fell on you, knocking you unconscious. 

Chris, in his state, vaguely realised what happened, before he lost his balance and fell to the ground a few feet away from you, his left arm stretched towards your limp body, as if reaching out.

Sirens of the firetruck and the ambulance filled the heavy air. A deep groan escaped his lips as he attempted to crawl towards you, a failed effort. Where did it all go so wrong? he thought. I was supposed to be the one to save you angel! You should be falling in love with me!! And break-up with your good for nothing fiancé! 

Overwhelmed with emotions, Chris started drifting off to sleep, your name leaving his lips in the form of a desperate whisper.

🔥

8 MONTHS AGO

Chris met you for the first time at the table read for Defending Jacob. You didn't strike him as anyone special. Being the Junior Assistant Scriptwriter for the series, you were just in the room as a formality. It was your job to jot down the minutes of the meeting, and have the parts of the script marked which were supposed to be changed slightly. 

You managed to stay invisible for more such meetings. An introvert by nature, you kept to yourself even when the shooting started. 

It was in the Week 4 of the shooting when Chris actually started to notice you. He realised you were always absent from his house parties, never stayed around on the set for after-work shenanigans and, you never hung out with any of your crew-mates for a drink.

What really drove his attention towards you were your random acts of kindness. He once saw you feeding a homeless man in the alley behind the set. Unknown to you, it was where Chris often hid from his cast and crew to smoke. 

Then there was the bit with setting up of a mobile blood donation camp on the set, which was completely your idea. He had also seen you distribute fliers for animal adoption centres and NGOs who fought for climate preservation.

You always made sure everyone on the set ate before you did, and the ones who couldn't due to work, you were sure to help them and share their load so they could have lunch.

But one particular incident made him see that you were no ordinary woman. 

It was a particularly tough day on the set. They were shooting the 35-second sex scene between him and Michelle. While these scenes looked easy on the screen, they always made Chris feel uneasy about himself. "What if my body is not upto the mark?" , "I don't want to hurt Michelle in any way" , "God I hope I don't touch her inappropriately by mistake" and more such troubling thoughts clawed at his mind. After the scene finally ended, he felt the lustful eyes of the crew feasting on him, admiring his body on display. 

He hurried towards his van, avoiding to look at anyone, until his eyes met yours for a total of 5 seconds. He expected to see the same smirk to be reflected in your eyes as everyone else's. Instead, he saw a completely different emotion. He saw sadness, sympathy, and most importantly, recognition of his discomfort etched on your face.

After that, Chris started to keep a close eye on you. You always wore comfortable clothes, with loads of pockets. Yet somehow, they always fit you well. He also noticed that you always got your own lunch, refusing to eat the food available on the set. 

A few days after filming the sex scene, he decided to try to speak with you. Palms sweaty, he headed towards you and gently said your name. 

"Hi," he said, and stopped. 

"Hello Mr Evans," you greeted him back, a little surprised that he knew your name. 

He continued to look at you, bright cerulean eyes bearing into yours, apparently lost. You blinked twice, unfazed, and a little uncomfortable, "Can I help you sir?"

Chris shook his head slightly. He was so used to women fawning all over him, that your utter lack of excitement on seeing him deterred him a bit. 

He cleared his throat, a little flustered, *Ahem yeah… I wanted to ask… something… karaoke!" he managed to mumble, "It's karaoke night at my house. Tomorrow. Will you come? At night?"

"Umm… No Mr Evans. I am sorry I will not be able to make it," you politely declined while taking a small step back.

"Oh. Uhh… well we can have it any other night if you want," he cleared his throat again, sweat starting to gather on his forehead as he noticed your movement, "You never visit any of my house-parties."

You smiled a bit, "I like to go home early. I want to spend as much time as I can with my fiancé and my cat."

Chris raised his eyebrows at that revelation, "Fiancé? I… I don't see a ring."

"That's because there isn't one," your smile widened as you pulled the chain around your neck and revealed a locket. It was an intricately carved sunflower locket, with small, delicate curls nestled inside the petals. 

Chris glanced at it with disdain. It looked hand-made, cheap, "Is that… is it made from clay?"

"Yes Mr Evans," you beamed at the locket, admiring it with love and pride, "My fiancé is a potter and he made this himself. It took him over 6 hours just to carve all the petals. But he still made it because he knows how much I love sunflowers."

"So he's too poor to give you an appropriate ring?" Chris snapped at you. 

Offended, you looked at him in shock and anger as he continued. "You deserve someone who can afford to give you an expensive engagement ring. Not some cheap craft project."

You grit your teeth at his comment, "Unlike some people, I don't look at the price of the gifts, I look at their value. While this," you held the locket in front of his eyes, "is worthless for you, it is priceless for me."

You placed the locket back inside your shirt and walked away. Chris stood rooted at the spot, biting his cheek hollow. He hadn't meant to drive you away. He had just wanted you to see him as a prospective partner. 

As he turned towards his trailer, an idea popped into his head.

🔥

Next Friday saw you and your fiancé walk into the bowling alley. The production house had organised a "Bring Your Partner to Work Day" and you both were excited to step out of your routine lives. 

A few people on the set recognised your fiancé Aiden from his YouTube channel. Kenneth, an Assistant Set Designer, drooled over him, "Maaahhnnn! I love your pottery videos! They are so calming dude. How do you make them so relaxing?"

The ever shy and soft-spoken Aiden gushed at the compliment, turning a shade of red which you always found adorable. Aiden was almost the same height as you, with a lean figure and a kind, freckled face. Your friends always told you that Aiden's looks were nothing to brag about, but you disagreed. Because for you, this man was the most handsomest, cutest and sexiest person in the world. 

And you knew he felt the same way about you. That's why, even after being together for almost 5 years now, you two still looked at each other with heart eyes.

As the party progressed, you made sure to avoid Chris, and so far, you were successful. That was until he softly said your name. 

With dread in your stomach, you and Aiden turned around to face the man. Aiden knew of your previous encounter with Chris, and tried to square his shoulders as much as possible, but Chris' towering physique and personality literally made it impossible for Aiden to appear tough.

You gave Chris a curt nod and received a sweet smile in response. 

"I believe I owe you an apology," he confessed, "I am sorry. My behavior that day was inexcusable." He paused for reaction, but looking at your hesitant faces, he continued, "It was quite a hectic day on the set and I guess I took it all out on you," he looked towards you, "You know I am capricious by nature. It takes me some time to become gregarious. But," he raised his hands in the air, "I repeat, the way I acted was inexcusable. I am sorry."

He extended his arm towards Aiden, "You are a porter I believe."

"Potter, sir," Aiden corrected while shaking his hand and introducing himself.

You bit your tongue, knowing that Chris was mocking you with his false apology. 

He invited Megan to join the conversation, "Megan loves handmade ceramics. Maybe she would be interested in your work."

Introductions were made again, and as the conversation pursued, it arrived at the topic of your marriage.

"Have you guys decided on a date yet?" asked Megan as Chris looked at you. 

"We are planning to get married as soon as the shooting ends for DJ," you smiled.

"Oh really? Wow that's… unusual," Megan tried her best to hide her surprise.

"We don't know exactly when will the shooting end," Chris said with a frown on his face.

"That's not an issue Mr Evans. We are actually planning to get married at the courthouse," revealed Aiden.

"You know if money is an issue then we would be more than happy to help you guys out," Chris offered in a sincere tone. 

"Oh no no Mr Evans. Money isn't an issue," you clarified, "We have decided to donate the money we had intended to spend on the wedding."

"But thank you so much for the generous offer, we really appreciate it," Aiden added with a sincere smile.

"You know a lot of couples are doing that nowadays. It's a trend I believe," Megan commented, "Where are you going to make the donation?"

"The local orphanage where I grew up. We both love kids and, it just seemed to be the perfect choice," Aiden beamed at you. 

You mirrored his expression while Chris scowled. "I think everybody should get the wedding of their dreams, and you" he stated, pointing towards you, "deserve much more than a courthouse wedding. Don't you want to get married in a beautiful church? Walk down the aisle in a gorgeous white gown? And get married to a man who can actually fulfill your wishes and desires?"

Squaring your shoulders, you looked at Chris dead in the eye, "I am marrying the man of my dreams Mr Evans. The wedding ceremony doesn't matter to me. What does matter is the beautiful life we will begin together. Now if you will excuse us," you linked your arm with Aiden's, "we need to leave."

Chris watched you leave as Megan tried to distract him with something else. Tonight did not go the way he had anticipated.

He left the party shortly after you, directly heading for his home. Standing under the cold shower, he tried to reason with himself. He was acting out of character. There was no reason for his behavior. You had made it ample clear that you loved your fiancé and that nobody in the world could sway you.

Then why was he so hell-bent on claiming you as his?

Because she's perfect for you, a voice answered him. 

Yeah, but she belongs to someone else, he argued.

So what?, the voice urged, Fight for her. You saw her wimp of a fiancé. You can break him into two pieces without breaking a sweat. She is made for you. Just you, and nobody else.

"I… Just… No," Chris stammered loudly as he shook his head, trying to get rid of the voice in his mind.

He tried to meditate, but it didn't work. Dodger too, was unable to distract him. Even his books on self-help and mental health were of no use.

As a last resort, he opened his laptop, but his fingers halted at the search bar, the cursor blinking back at him.

He was too tempted to search for you again. The last time he had Googled you, he had been satisfied with the results. You often volunteered with a few NGOs, coordinated multiple donation drives, visited orphanages and taught underprivileged children. His heart had melted at a particular photograph- you were holding an 8-month-old girl in your arms, while looking over a painting drawn by a 4-year-old boy as the child looked up at you with a toothy smile. 

It reminded him of everything he wanted to have, but still couldn't. 

He closed his eyes and started kneading his forehead with his palms. Everybody he knew always only had the best things about him. Right from Scarlett to Mark to Olivia to every fucking person he had ever worked with, everybody said he deserved to have a loving wife, a stable family. 

And yet, here he was, on a Friday night, home alone with a beer bottle, on the verge of anxiety. 

Was it just anxiety though?

Who the fuck is Aiden and why does he deserve to be with her? the voice in his head was back.

They love each other, they want to get married, Chris reasoned.

He doesn't hold a candle next to you, the voice persisted, People love money more than they love others. She will come to you. But you need to let her know you are available. You need to take her to-

"No," Chris interrupted the voice loudly, "No. This is unhealthy. No."

Reaching for his phone, he searched for his therapist's number, when the voice chuckled, You really think a shrink is going to help you with this? Eh? They are only going to ask you to fuck another pussy, or read more books. And I will be damned before you touch another book about trees. 

Chris shook his head again, but in vain. Unable to find the number in his contacts, he turned to Google for the second time that night and started searching for therapists in his area. The voice tut-ted, Yeah, as if the psycho doctor is going to shut their trap about Chris Evans crying over a girl.

Chris almost crushed his bottle in frustration. He couldn't let the voice take over. Not now. Not after working his ass off to get where wanted in his career. Taking a deep breath, he looked at the screen again and came across the headline- "Why Do People Write Fanfiction?" The word fanfiction seemed vaguely familiar to him. He was going to ignore the article and scroll downwards, but the brief underneath the headline made him stop- …mostly, people write fanfiction to stay in touch with the characters they love," says leading Psychologist Andrea Williams.

Intrigued, he opened the article and started reading. Then he opened another, and another and by the time he was done, he had read 6-7 articles on the concept of fanfiction and what it entailed.

Sighing, he opened a new word document. He was reluctant to type a letter, let alone a whole fictional story. He had tried everything and yet, you chose to occupy a rent-free space in his mind. 

Now all he needed was a reference.

He minimised the document, and opened a new tab on his browser. His hesitant fingers typed the words - Chris Evans Fanfiction - into the search bar, and he instantly winced.

Millions of search results were displayed before him, and as he read the descriptions of each one of them, he realised that 99% of these stories were porn. There was no sugar-coating it. On the 5th page of the search results, he luckily found a story sans the erotica. It was a cute one-shot about him going on a first date with the reader. He read it with squinted eyes, afraid that a sex scene might jump out of the blue, but luckily, nothing of the sort happened. 

Chris liked reading it. It was an innocent story filled with romance. 

But the only problem? It was written from the reader's point of view. He checked a few others, and realised they were all written from the women's perspective, not his.

He sat back in his chair, turning his head such that he was looking at the ceiling, contemplating his options. 

You want her, the voice whispered.

Reluctantly, he typed the first word that came to his mind. Your name. 

Chris rested his chin on his palm, wondering where to start. If this were fiction, would tonight have gone different? Would you have visited his house for karaoke that night? 

Tapping his fingers on the desk, he bit his tongue in thought. Thinking it was better to start at the beginning, he started typing from his POV-

The first time I saw her I thought she was pretty. I saw her during meetings and the shooting. Then one day I saw her giving food to a homeless man-

Deleting his words, Chris shook his head. This was insane! Right? You were a real human being and it was unethical of him to write this! He needed to learn to handle his feelings. 

If you don't have the balls to fight for her, then be with her in the stories you write. Grow a spine Evans, whispered the insulting voice.

Hesitating, he tried to write another paragraph, which ended up getting deleted. 

Try again, the voice coaxed him. Pour your heart into this. Write better. 

Taking a sip of the beer, Chris started typing again-

It was lunchtime when I saw her arranging some equipment on the table. Her back was facing me as I carefully approached her, afraid to startle her. I breathed in her scent, light, floral and fresh, before whispering her name.

She turned around, a bit surprised to see me, but she smiled nevertheless. Oh gosh her smile. I had seen her smile a few times on the set, but in person, it took my breath away. 

"Hi," I managed to greet her shyly. She matched my response.

"I was wondering if you would like to sing karaoke with me? There's a karaoke party tonight at my house if you would like to come," I asked her hopefully.

Her expression turned remorseful as she apologised, "I cannot come Mr Evans. My fiancé won't let me."

Imagine my surprise when I found out about her fiancé. "I didn't know about your fiancé. Why won't he let you come?" I asked her, concerned as she started sniffing a bit.

"He's… he's very strict Mr Evans. He doesn't like it when I go out with my fri-friends or co-workers," she shared between her light sobs.

My heart broke into pieces on hearing her confession. I had often noticed her taciturn behaviour on the set, but I had no idea about the reason behind it.

I raised my hands to cup her face. I was itching to wipe her tears with my lips, but instead, I used my thumbs. 

"I want to help you. Please let me," I requested.

"Nobody can help me Mr Evans. I am stuck with a monster." She pulled a chain from underneath her shirt and I got a glimpse at the marks on her neck. "Aiden gave me this chain and locket instead of an engagement ring. He said it will be better than a ring. And now he-" she started sobbing harder. I pulled her into my chest, running my right hand through her hair as my left hand soothed her back.

"And now he uses it as a leash," my angel whispered, horrified, "he says I do not deserve a ring."

I hugged her tighter and thankfully, she buried her face in my chest, "You are no longer stuck with him. Are you listening to me?" I bent my face to bring my lips near her ears, "I will make sure that you are free of him."

She shook her head, reluctantly pulling away from me, "No Mr Evans. I cannot-"

"Yes you can," I interrupted her. "You are going to come to my house for karaoke tonight. Message Aiden right now, and tell him that I will be dropping you home. Okay?"

After some coaxing, she agreed. I held her close as she typed out the message, her hands shaking around her mobile phone. Finally she clicked on the SEND button.

I brushed a kiss on her forehead, "Wait for me in the back alley after the shoot, okay? I will pick you up from there."

She nodded gratefully in response.

I couldn't wait for the shoot to be over that day. In my eagerness, I even messed up a few takes, mumbling over my lines like an idiot. But eventually, I got through the day. 

I was excited when I picked her up after the shoot. I could see she was nervous and maybe a little bit scared, but she still entered my car anyway. So I made small talk with her and tried to put her mind at ease.

Finally, when we reached my house, she was in awe. 

"This is the most beautiful house I have ever seen Mr Evans," she gasped as I led her inside, "I don't think I have ever seen anything like it before!"

I chuckled, "I am happy you like it. It… it just feels empty sometimes, you know? I find loneliness ubiquitous in this house."

You looked at her puzzled expression and smiled. "Ubi-what was that word Mr Evans?" 

"Ubiquitous," I replied, "it means something that is present and is found everywhere."

"Ahh okay," she nodded, "thank you for teaching me."

"I will accept your gratitude only on one condition."

She tilted her head ever so slightly, "And what would that be Mr Evans?"

I smiled as I slightly bent down and held her hand, "You need to start calling me Christopher."

Visibly flustered, my angel looked down at her feet. "I-I can't Mr Evans," she said in a low voice.

"Why can't you?"

"I respect you too much sir," she confessed.

"Hey," I gently nudged her forehead with mine, "I want you to say my name. Please?" 

I stared into her eyes as she met mine. God.

There was something about her eyes that was absolutely riveting. The depth of her eyes pulled me in towards her as I read the plethora of emotions hidden within them. Her gaze searched my face for malice, deceit, but only found love and trust in return.

I slowly cupped her face as her breath hitched in her chest. I could feel my own heart race. Bringing my face as close as I could to hers, I whispered, the distance between our lips fast closing, "Please."

She parted her lips ever so slightly. I felt her warm breath on mine as she obliged, "Christopher."

I closed my eyes as I heard the most melodious symphony, my name draped in her sweet voice.

I dipped my head to kiss her, feel the shape of her lips, but she stepped back.

"I-I am st-still engaged Chris-Christopher," she stammered.

I straightened myself, my hands no longer cupping her face, "I understand. I am sorry. Would you like-"

Before I could finish, a car honked outside. While I was curious at the intrusion, her eyes widened with fear. 

"That's him," she gasped, "Aiden is here. He found me."

"How is that possible?"

"He has a location app installed on my phone through which he tracks my location," she revealed, visibly shaking at the thought of greeting her fiancé.

"Stay here. You will be safe inside. Let me handle him," I said, squeezing her shoulders.

I walked out of the house and towards the car. The vehicle didn't look in good shape, it's owner even more so.

Aiden manually rolled down his window and spat on the ground. Fumes of cheep alcohol and stale cigarette smoke escaped through the window. "Where is she?" he hollered.

"That's not your concern anymore. She's breaking up with you," I crossed my arms and stood facing him. "If you know what's good for you, you will leave her alone and stay out of her life."

Aiden exited the car at that threat, the door of the vehicle rattled as he opened it. "She said that?" he scoffed, "Color me surprised, I thought the little mouse had no fight left in her. Bring her out here. I want to hear," he wriggled a finger at me, "whatever the fuck you are saying from her own fucking mouth."

"Not going to happen Aiden. You followed her here against her own wishes. Now scoot off before I call the cops," I warned.

"You think I will be scared of some Hollywood prick who shits diamonds?" he sneered. 

"No. But you should be scared of the law. You are currently harassing the owner of this private property, not to mention you have clearly abused your girlfriend mentally, emotionally and physically. So be sensible," I took a step towards him, "and fuck off."

"STOP," she shouted as she trusted towards us. She stood in front of me, as if to guard me from her monster of a fiancé, "Please don't hurt him. I will come with you. Just let him be," she pleaded with him as he smirked. 

Before he could react, I pulled her behind me, making sure my body was shielding her from Aiden.

"She's a gold-digging bitch. You stay away from her," he pointed at me as he tried to reach her. 

I pushed him away once and kept my hand on his weak, thin torso. Turning my head, I asked her for the last time, "Are you sure you want to go with him? I can save you. I will protect you, provide for you and keep you happy!" I urged her.

She looked at me with hope and helplessness. Slowly, she glanced at Aiden who looked like he was ready to commit murder. Sobbing uncontrollably, she removed the chain with the sunflower locket and threw it at his feet. 

"Leave me alone," she managed to mumble at him.

Furious, Aiden growled and tried to pounce at her. Fortunately, I intervened on time and punched his sorry excuse of a face into the ground. 

She gasped as Aiden fell with a thud. Embarrassed, he slowly got up and dusted himself, muttering under his breath as he sat inside his wreck of a car. 

"Don't bother coming back to gather your stuff! I am burning it all tonight you cock-sucking bitch!" and with that outburst, Aiden was finally gone.

She was sobbing and shaking uncontrollably at what had just transpired. I wrapped her in my arms to let her know she was safe. Within moments, I felt her ease into my body. 

I closed my eyes and smiled, my nose buried into her hair. My angel was safe. My angel was mine.

Chris blinked his eyes as he re-read his story. He already felt a whole lot lighter, his anxiety at ease, and mind exhausted. Clicking on SAVE, he finished the last of his beer and went to sleep, hoping that this was the end to his problems. Little did he know about the horrors that awaited him, behind the door he had just opened by writing that fictional story.

__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__--__

Permanent tag: @donutloverxo

Chris Evans and his characters taglist: @onetwo3000

This story: @just-one-ordinary-fangirl @carpediemm-18

(If you guys don't want to be tagged in this, just let me know. No hard feelings 😊)

Taglists are open! Just comment, send an ask or a message!

[cosmicloved]

ooookay...i decided to try and play around with the new popup display & made a quick little mobile banner. i’m not using it now bc it didn’t really work the way i wanted, both bc it was rushed and bc the new display. kinda sucks. it’s needlessly complicated. and it fucking sucks. i will explain. (also, i’ll be referring to the popup display as ‘peeplr’ from hereon out bc, apparently, that’s the official name and it’s easier than trying to describe things)

what i said the other day about the banner container being a 3:1 ratio seems to hold true but you can’t make the graphic according to that ratio. the peeplr WILL ruin it. when i tried to upload a graphic in those dimensions, the stretched version zoomed in REAL close. the non-stretched version was...uh...stretched. or, rather, it was squashed too thin.

this specifically led me to realisation that the banner graphic itself still has to fit the original peeplr dimensions (or taller; if the graphic isn’t tall enough, it gets distorted). this makes sense bc this is STILL how the graphics display on the hover version of the peeplr and, as far as i can tell, on mobile as well.

what this means is that tumblr has changed the size of the container and absolutely nothing the fuck else. they didn’t recode anything to fit with their changes. but it gets even more needlessly confusing. the new peeplr banner container is just a cropped version of the original BUT it crops in the centre.

so, if you want your graphic to look good on desktop, you have to take that into account. the easiest way to do this would probably be to make sure you have gutters/borders on the top and bottom of the graphic or just make the graphic the full size & plan for the awkward crop. just keep in mind, if you go with the gutter/border option, that’s gonna show up on mobile & hover.

idk maybe this isn’t THAT complicated but it certainly feels clunkier than it needs to be. it’s really baffling to me that the official post for this update said ‘a bold, vibrant, and creative tumblr is a tumblr at its best’ -- y’know, suggesting they’re very pro-customisation (and to their credit, the fact themes still exist means they are better on this front than most sites these days) -- and then updated this in a manner that just makes it very awkward to navigate if you want to do anything more specific than throwing in a random photo you think is pretty. anyway, i don’t usually care that much about random tumblr updates bc, at this point, i’m used to it but...this one’s annoying. i don’t like this one. maybe if it didn’t require me having to rethink my whole editing process, it wouldn’t bother me as much but. i still think it sucks!

[magic-multicolored-miracle]

So a list of tumblr formatting that is apparently screwed up at the moment (on desktop):

1) photos appearing in a long line instead of a grid layout

2) asks not displaying the sender or any clear delineation of where the question stops and the answer starts

3) read mores are a waste of time because they’re not there.

It looks like it’s not happening on Mobile, where everything still looks normal, or with reblogs, where, again, everything looks normal.

[ri-ahhh]

van life

I wasn’t gonna post this because it’s just like an overload of unrealistic softness but now that we know that they’re selling the van I think now is the best time if I’m gonna do it lol.

Also I’m sorry I can’t make this shorter on your dash by putting a ‘keep reading’ break. Tumblr is shitty and permanently fucked on my desktop where it just won’t load the page once I’m logged in so I have to do everything through mobile🙄

6k

warnings: fluff, smut, kinda unedited

***

MJ sighs as warm morning sunlight kisses her skin through the passenger window of the tiny house van. She and Grayson had decided to have a beach day to themselves — the first one of summer — and she could’t be more excited. Nothing makes MJ Macias more content and at peace with her life than laying under the Pacific sun until her nose freckles and her skin takes on that healthy golden hue. Wrinkles are a risk she’s willing to take as long as she has a nice, long podcast, something to munch on, and, of course, a good view of her boyfriend in the surf.

That view of him rivals the one of the ocean in her opinion, which is just past his window as they cruise down the PCH on their way to Malibu. MJ wiggles her white-painted toes on the dashboard and smiles as she watches him sing along quietly (and off-key) to the Tame Impala song filling the cabin of the van. She loves his profile so much: the perfect slope of his nose; his full lips; the chunk of hair that swoops across his forehead.

She lifts their clasped hands from where they rest on her thigh with their fingers threaded together, and kisses the back of his wide palm.

“You’re so handsome, Bear,” MJ murmurs against his skin.

Grayson stops singing long enough to look over at her and smile brightly, his eyes hidden behind his black Louis Vuitton sunglasses. He pulls their hands towards himself so he can copy her kiss, only to her her own soft skin.

“My pretty Peach,” he returns with a squeeze to her palm, making MJ flush the color of her pet name. “Always so beautiful in the mornings.”

MJ hums and takes her turn returning their hands back to her lap, trailing her long nails up and down his muscular, veiny forearm. Apparently they’re equally as headass for each other today. “Just in the mornings?” she teases, tickling the sensitive patch of skin near the crook of his elbow.

She can’t see his eyes roll, but she imagines they do as his grin turns playful. “Of course not, but especially in the mornings. Your hair is in that cute braid and your skin is all silky soft and your eyes are extra green.” He takes his eyes off the road for a moment to appraise her looking exactly as he described. “And, you know, usually on the weekends you’d still be naked at this time. I like that part about mornings, too.”

“Oh, Lord,” she laughs with a shake of her head. “Grayson!”

She gasps his name and giggles harder as he completely catches her off guard by moving their hands right over his hardening cock. MJ squeezes him reflexively, and Grayson gives a little grunt as he shifts in his seat with a smirk.

“What?” he asks in mock defense, placing both hands back on the steering wheel. “I had to show you how much you affect me! I only have to think about you naked in our bed and it goes up.”

“That’s sweet,” MJ says, stroking his dick one more time before moving her hand further down his thigh, “but if you think I’m giving you road head in this car on this twisty road, you’re very mistaken.”

Grayson makes an obnoxious little whiny noise in defeat, pouting playfully and muttering dejectedly, “I knew we should have taken the Tesla.”

MJ raises an eyebrow. “Well, we wouldn’t have been able to bring your surfboard. Or be the first ones to christen the tiny house.”

“Oh, shit,” Gray says quietly, surprised. MJ smiles at the small victory of teasing him, her eyes diverting back to the beautiful scenery ahead of them as her mind wanders to all the things they can do in that makeshift bed.

“How about road hand, then, to start it off?”

She lets out a frustrated huff, his request interrupting her daydream. If there was ever a scenario where she didn't trust Grayson, it was one in which he was receiving any overt sexual pleasure whilst controlling a giant motor vehicle.

“Gray, I love you, but you’re pushing it.”

“Understood.”

***

It takes about half an hour for them to reach their destination, but MJ knows it was worth the drive as soon as they exit the car and she inhales the clean, salty air. They park at a little camping lot they had reserved a spot in for the day, the glittering ocean a mere few hundred feet away.

“Surf looks good,” MJ remarks, her hand shielding her eyes as she gazes out at the water. It always makes her a little nervous when Gray goes out in big swells, so the mild waves are a happy sight for her. “Nice and small; just how I like ‘em.”

Grayson looks out as well as he climbs on the roof of the van to retrieve the surfboard. “Funny, I happen to know for a fact you like ‘em long and wide,” he jokes. He just couldn’t help himself, apparently, his wide smile looking down at her from the top of the ladder a clear display of how proud of the stupid joke he is.

MJ watches the exposed muscles in his arms and shoulders ripple under his skin as he begins wrestling with the hooks and ties securing the board to the roof racks. The sight combined with his words and thoughts of what transpired earlier in the car makes her center pulse dangerously.

Needless to say, he’s successfully turned her on despite her best efforts.

“You’re insufferable, Dolan,” she says with a shake of her head. Her body feels heated from his innuendo and also the midmorning sun that is steadily raising the outside temperature. She pulls off the hoodie she had thrown on in the chilly early morning and steps into the back seat to haul out the cooler and beach bag.

“Yeah, but you love me,” his voice comes from right behind her. She turns around and yelps in surprise when she sees Grayson peeking his head upside down into the cab from the roof. He’s inches from her and is just dangling there like an overgrown monkey, which makes her fall back in the seat in a fit of giggles. He wags his brows at her playfully. “Ooh! Spider-Man kiss!”

MJ rolls her eyes good-naturedly and happily scoots over to clasp his cheeks in her hands, granting his wish by planting a sweet kiss to his lips. The scruff on his chin tickles her nose peculiarly, but she’s not mad at it. “Too much. I love you too much, you goof.”

Finally, with all their beach supplies in hand, they walk together towards the ocean. The private beach that they can access with their camp site is quiet and secluded. Best of all, it isn't clogged with tourists or people in general, which they both greatly prefer. Less people means they’re less likely to be bombarded by fangirls, or paparazzi, or any other unwanted distractions from what MJ hopes will be a perfect day.

As soon as the texture under her feet changes from firm concrete to sunken sand, MJ is stopping to remove her flip-flops so her toes can dig into the fine powder. This moment of first stepping on the beach is one of her favorite experiences, as minute and insignificant as it seems.

She looks up at Grayson, who glances back down at her questioningly. “Race ya,” she challenges suddenly, hauling ass to a perfect open spot on the wide expanse of beach. If there’s one thing she and her boyfriend have in common, it’s a highly competitive spirit.

“Cheater!” Grayson calls after her. He has the surfboard under one arm and the cooler slung over his shoulder, but everyone knows Grayson Dolan is the last person to turn down a competition. Which is why he does his best to catch up to her even with the obstacles in his arms holding him back.

The finish line is also only in MJ’s head, so she stops when she finds a spot she likes. She drops their bag and turns around with her arms raised like Rocky. Grayson isn’t very far behind her, being as in-shape as he is he’s reached her quickly, but he slows down earlier than he really needs to so he can take her in. Her breasts heave beneath a leopard print bikini top, loose hairs escape from her messy french braid, and her long legs glitter with the sand she had kicked up on her run.

She’s the most beautiful, dorky, amazing woman he’s ever seen and she is his.

MJ watches smugly as her boyfriend stalks over to her. “I wi—“

Grayson releases everything he’s carrying to the sand and grasps her face in both hands, pulling her in for a long, lingering kiss. MJ lets out a little squeak of surprise, but she melts into him half a second later. Nothing warms her soul more than his lips on hers, and she wraps her arms around his middle to bring them as close together as possible.

When he pulls back, Grayson stares at her with complete, obvious adoration. Ethan would have called him a simp if he were there, that’s how sappy his twin looks. Grayson can’t help himself, though; he is a simp for MJ, and, truthfully, he doesn’t give two shits who knows it as long as he makes her smile up at him like she is now, every day.

It’s why yesterday he had casually opened a new browser window, convincing himself he was just curiously window shopping on the ring section of Tiffany’s and the like… even after he got sucked into the customization tool on one website for nearly two hours.

Shaking his head and biting his lip through a grin, he traces the freckles on MJ’s cheek. “I want a rematch later.”

MJ squeezes him and smacks his ass playfully before releasing him and reaching into the bag for the big blanket. “You’re always such a sore loser,” she teases, unfolding the cloth and weighing it down with Grayson’s help. She digs through the bag again and hands him his wetsuit. “Go catch some waves. I have to catch up on this podcast by this really sexy guy and his twin brother.”

If there could be snapshots of the rest of the day, they would have been out of a picturesque rom-com. For a while, MJ rests on her tummy as she watches Grayson glide through the water, his deep voice simultaneously reverberating in her ears through her AirPods.

Eventually, when he’s done surfing — looking like a beach Adonis when he walks up the shore with the top half of his wetsuit folded down at his hips, surfboard under his arm and his wet abs glistening in the sun — he joins her on the blanket.

In the early afternoon MJ props herself up on her elbow, appraising his form with hungry, appreciative eyes as he tans on his back next to her. He has his hands pillowed behind his head, which causes his biceps to bulge and her thighs to clench. MJ is lost in him as she trails her finger over the features of his face — down his button nose, smoothing over his arched brows, across his rosy cheeks, against his pillowy lips. She smiles as he sighs contentedly and drops a peck to the tip of his nose before settling with her cheek on his chest. He smells like tanning oil and ocean and that clean, woody musk that MJ knows as him.

Later, they wade around in the sea between batches of sun bathing. At some points, he’s holding her waist-deep in the water with her legs wrapped around his middle and arms around his neck, lips connecting occasionally amidst easy conversation. Other times they have full-on water fights that have her squealing and him laughing as they splash each other back and forth.

It isn’t until the orange and pink hues of the sunset paint the sky that they’re brought back to the beach for good. Once they rinse off and have all of their things collected, they head back to the van.

MJ removes her bikini inside while Grayson reattaches the surfboard to the roof. She slips on her sweatshirt and a fresh pair of soft shorts just in time for him to carefully crack open the back door to make sure she’s decent.

Grayson smiles widely as he crawls in on the already made bed where she sits and is piling her damp hair into a messy bun. “So fucking beautiful,” he murmurs, giving her a lingering kiss while her hands are still mid-twist in her long hair.

A pleasant warmth swoops through her belly at his compliment; it had taken her a while to get accustomed to not only how often Grayson rains sweet praises like that down on her, but how sincerely he means them, too.

She hums into his mouth right before he pulls away. “I left your shorts there, baby,” she says, gesturing behind her with her head. Gray thanks her and she starts to dig through the cooler as he tugs his swimsuit down his inked legs, following them back up with the clean shorts.

They eat dinner with the back doors wide open, a perfect view of the sun setting below the ocean’s horizon right in front of them. A pleasant breeze floats around them in the van, cool and refreshing from being picked up right off the water. MJ nuzzles her cheek on Grayson’s bare shoulder, and he presses a kiss to the top of her head as she chews her last bite of tofu.

“Thank you for such a perfect day,” MJ says a minute later, gazing up at him while he takes a sip of La Croix. “Seriously, I can’t remember the last time I felt so…carefree. Loved. In love. Not that you don’t make me feel those things every day, but… y’know. Today was just great.”

Her hand reaches to caress his stubbly cheek, a soft smile at the corner of her full lips. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Gray.”

Grayson looks down at her silently, but his eyes say everything his lips don’t. He tucks his can and their empty tupperware back into the cooler, tossing the bag into one of the back seats behind them so it’s out of the way.

He cups her cheeks in both hands, wasting no more time in bringing their mouths together. MJ sighs and shifts so she’s that much closer to him, just as his tongue prods gently at her pliant lips to coax them open.

They make out like that, slow and deep, with the soundtrack of crashing waves wafting through the open doors. Gray lies her down and supports the back of her head with his forearm, his free hand swooping up and down her side before settling in the dramatic dip of her waist as he pulls away just barely.

Eyes closed, their breaths come heavy and mingle sweetly in the minute space between them. Grayson suddenly lets out a little incredulous huff, shaking his head and diving back in blindly to suck softly on her bottom lip. MJ lets out a little moan and digs her nails gently down his bare back, her eyes fluttering open.

“What?” she asks with a little smile of her own, nuzzling her nose against his in an Eskimo kiss.

Grayson’s hazel orbs meet her green ones, and the hand resting on her waist comes to cup her face once again so he can stroke the new freckles that litter her high cheekbone.

“I’m gonna marry you,” he answers, chuckling at her shocked little gasp. He hurries to clarify himself. “One day, when we’re ready. You’re my world, MJ. Maybe it’s selfish, or self aggrandizing, but hearing you say that makes it so obvious to me that you’re the only person I’d ever want to spend the rest of my life with. Because I feel the same about you. I only ever want to make you feel that way; nothing makes me happier.”

MJ is stunned into silence. Grayson isn’t exactly the most eloquent person, so somehow she reasons that his perfect delivery of such meaningful words means they’re truly heartfelt. Not that she would have doubted him either way, but their relationship has suddenly shifted even deeper in the matter of one day. One simple, amazing day.

She feels the prickle of tears behind her eyes, and bites her lip through a watery smile as she raises her hand to run her fingers through the back of his hair. No matter how happy she is, her instinct for dealing with any emotions is to deflect with humor. “Can’t wait ’til I pop out a few of your babies. From the sounds of it, you’ll be worshipping the ground I walk on.”

That hits him right in the baby fever, his dick hardening even more behind his shorts at the thought of her belly swollen with his child. Joking or not, she’s absolutely right.

“Fuck,” he whispers, grinning as he ducks his head to nibble her favorite spot just behind her jaw and right under her ear. “How many of my babies? Hm?”

“Mmm,” she sighs, scratching lightly at his scalp, considering the question seriously. “Four little Dolan babies, I think. Three boys and a little girl.”

“Yeah,” Grayson agrees easily, making his way across her jaw with soft little suckles. “But make that three girls and a little boy, and you've got a deal.”

MJ giggles and grabs his face so they’re staring each other in the eye again. “No actual baby-making until there’s a ring on this finger.” She wiggles the digits of her left hand, which Grayson grabs and kisses the back of with a smirk. If only she knew just how close that moment might be. “But we can always practice in the meantime.”

Grayson nods and hitches her leg up his hip as he ducks down for a surprisingly chaste kiss considering her invitation a second before. As much as he wants her, he has a need deep in his chest just to be close to her for the moment. To feel her hold him and nuzzle into the warm crook of his neck, sucking gently on that freckle there to make his head swim like after a nice glass of wine.

MJ is just as happy with that arrangement, and she lets her body be still and her breaths tickle the sensitive skin at his collarbone. The ocean breeze billowing through the open doors of the van is cool and salty and comforting.

“It’s crazy,” Grayson whispers after a few peaceful minutes, his fingers starting to trail up and down her covered back slowly. MJ pulls back a little so she can see his face. He isn't looking at her, but rather out the open van doors at the last moments of the sun setting behind the water. “I remember feeling exactly this way the first day we met, only now it’s…more. You felt right then, so right it was scary. And here we are. How did I know that you were my person as soon as you let me walk you back to that tent?”

MJ smiles and her belly swoops. She thinks back to that night, how scared she had been and how instantly — well, as he said — right Grayson had felt the minute they crossed paths.

“I did kind of seduce you,” she chuckles, lifting her head to nibble at the underside of his chin and reveling in the sensation of his deep chuckle vibrating against her lips. “Maybe you’re just under my Black Widow spell. Have I never let it slip I’m only after your money?”

Grayson laughs louder, squeezing her to his body tighter. “Nope. But that’s the MJ I remember falling head over heels for in a matter of hours. Smart and witty and sweet and so fucking pretty with her green eyes and bright smile.”

MJ stares up at him with stars in those emerald eyes he adores so much. He is unreal to both see and hear; his skin has turned olive and his hair has the crisp of the ocean still in it, and the fact that he can still pinpoint the little things he liked about her from so long ago…

“Do you love me?” she asks quietly. It’s so ridiculously unnecessary to ask, he tells her multiple times a day, every day.

“So much, Peach,” he murmurs back predictably, finally swooping down to capture her lips like she wanted earlier, tongues meshing instantly.

He tastes so familiar and sweet. She wants to devour him slowly, intimately, like she has a thousand times before.

“Close the doors?” MJ gasps after the simple swipe of his thumb over her nipple through her sweatshirt makes her thighs tremble and her hips grind onto his half-hard erection. Something about the heartwarming intimacy of the day has translated to her body being physically sensitive beyond belief.

Grayson nods and sits up, reaching for the switch of the fairy lights MJ had hung up a few weeks ago before slamming the doors shut on the nighttime scenery.

While he does as she asked, she scoots up to rest her head on a pillow and watches his bare, chiseled torso glow in the dim, sensual lights. Right as he turns around he catches her struggling to free herself from her hoodie.

“Let me do it, Peach. I wanna do it,” he breathes, dipping down to kiss her soundly before tugging upward on the hem of the soft fabric. MJ drops her head to the pillow to break the seal of their lips, lifting her arms up so he can pull the garment over her head.

Grayson flings it to the front of the van and brings their mouths together so quickly, like he simply can’t be away from her lips for longer than a second. His hands reach up and cup the pliable mounds of her breasts, which are several shades lighter than the rest of her chest. Clearly, he could care less, and MJ sighs softly as he massages them firmly, his calloused palms creating delicious friction on her hypersensitive nipples.

“Still the prettiest tits I’ve ever seen, too,” he smirks, making his way across her jaw. MJ smiles too, eyes closed in bliss as he kisses the familiar trail down her sternum. Predictably, his warm lips suction around the bud of her left breast, and she lets her mind wander through the pleasure to flash back on the first time he did this.

“We’re still kind of in a tent, too, y’know,” she gasps as he switches sides, letting out her first moan of the night when he scrapes his teeth against her. “Just…more bougie.”

Grayson hums, quickly getting lost in the feel of how soft her tits are and how much he loves the sensation of her hard nipples under his tongue. He drops his hips down so he can grind his full erection against her hot center, eliciting wanton gasps from both of them.

MJ groans again, the feminine sound literal music to his ears and the perfect reinforcement to keep going. She hooks her legs around his waist to hold his hips against her, thrusting up against him as he continues to bite and lick and suckle her breasts.

“Holy shit, Gray, right there… I’m gonna cum,” she whimpers, grasping at his hair to hold him down where he was sucking perfectly on her breast, and continues to grind roughly on his dick. Sure enough, a few seconds later she’s shuddering with the most intense orgasm she’s ever had without manual stimulation. Even from Grayson.

Grayson himself can hardly believe it; they have a great sex life, but he can’t remember the last time he had gotten her off just through some intense dry humping.

He isn’t going to question it, though, because it only means one thing: she’s as voracious for him tonight as he is for her. He growls when she starts to come down and surprises her with his mouth planting roughly back on hers. MJ kisses him back lazily as her mind clears some, smiling and fluttering her eyes open to meet his dark gaze when she feels his middle finger replace his tongue in her mouth. She closes her swollen, pouty lips around the digit and sucks, holding onto his hand and maintaining complete eye contact with him when he moans softly. She pulls his hand out of her mouth and pushes it into her shorts.

“Fuck,” he rasps, collecting her slippery cum against his finger, swirling it against his thumb before trailing his middle finger up to her clit. He soaks in her expression as her eyes roll back at the first contact, his favorite reaction she has to his touch. “Fuck, MJ. So fucking wet for me.”

MJ nods quickly, opening her eyes again to watch him watch her. “Lemme taste,” she whimpers.

She pulls his hand back up and doesn’t wait for permission or leave him time to process her demand as she sucks the slick moisture straight off his finger, the taste of herself gracing her tongue causing her pussy to gush even more. When his brain finally catches up, he’s immediately ripping his hand away from her with a harsh groan and hooking it around the back of her neck to kiss her deeply. His tongue plunders her mouth as he searches for traces of that sweet, earthy tang he knows oh-so well. MJ’s hands distractedly push at the waistband of his shorts, desperate for the feel of his dick in her hands.

“Please, baby,” she whines against his lips when they break for air, using the moment of clarity to tug more determinedly at his shorts. “Need you.”

“Need me where?” he teases, backing up so she can’t reach him as he pulls her own shorts down her long, newly tanned legs. Once he flings the scrap of fabric to join her sweater, he ducks down and swipes his tongue quickly over each of her nipples. “Here?”

MJ groans and shakes her head, her brain not operating at enough capacity to tease back, it’s so clouded with desire for him. “Gray…”

Grayson smirks and grabs one of her hands that are coasting down his back and attempting to pull him down against her. He cups her petite palm against his pulsing erection, sighing a little when her fingers wrap around him through his shorts instinctively. He drops his hand and brings it to her pussy, his fingertips dancing delicately against her swollen lower lips. His head swims at how wet she is and how the solid feel of him seems to have brought her mind back to earth, because as soon as he lets go of her hand she delves past his waistband to grip him directly.

“My dick, baby, you need my dick?” he asks softly, his voice a little high and his breath pitchy as she strokes him steadily now.

MJ moans and her pussy throbs simply at his words. She nods hastily. “Need it in me,” she manages, meeting his heated gaze as she gives him a firm squeeze. “Love your dick.”

“Yeah,” he sighs, his touch leaving her as he helps her in getting him completely naked, kicking his shorts off when they reach his ankles.

He takes a moment to gather himself and to slow down, trying to get himself back in that intimate headspace they were so deep in earlier, so that this doesn’t turn into just a hot, hard fuck. They love that, and it’s kind of their bread and butter in the bedroom. But he wants to hold her close and savor her body, to pass that loving energy between them in the most special, physical way.

MJ’s chest heaves as she watches Grayson hover above her, staring at her, and she parts her legs to welcome him back into her space. He looks like a fucking Greek god in the low light, his hair curly from the saltwater and sweat, his skin golden and his muscles bulging. She can’t possibly want him any more than in that moment.

“C’mere,” she whispers, reaching her arms out and making grabby hands at him. She can’t allow another second to go by without the sensation of his smooth skin against hers.

Grayson smiles sweetly at her, eyes sultry as he lowers himself at her request and presses their bodies together from chests to centers. She cups his cheeks and scratches her fingers against his scruff as they kiss slowly, deeply, desire building intensely once again as they grind together at the middle.

“Please, Grayson,” she finally says again.

All thoughts of any more teasing are out the door as Grayson obliges her. He dips his fingers in her pussy, testing her readiness and using her sweet juices to coat his dick.

MJ spreads her legs up and out, bent at the knees, and she throws her head back with a gasp as he enters her in a short thrust; a little more on the second, until he bottoms out with the third.

“Fuck me,” she whimpers, her hands pushing on the firm globes of his ass.

Grayson obeys with a groan, drawing his hips in and out steadily. “Wanna fuck you slow,” he says in her ear, thrusting all the way in and all the way out. The warm clutch of her perfect pussy is so intense at that tempo that he shudders and his eyes roll back. “Slow and deep, Peach.”

“Yes,” MJ agrees, her breaths coming in fast despite the maintained speed of his dick. He’s working her up so good, and she leans forward to bite into the junction of his neck and shoulder out of habit to keep her sounds muffled.

“Yes, baby,” she squeals quietly when her minute adjustment shifts the angle just right for him to hit her spot over and over. Her nails claw at his back, scraping over the work of art that is both his rippling muscles and the picture of the lions inked into them. “Oh my God, keep fucking me like that.. like that…”

The air confined in the van is warm and thick. Sweat drips from the ends of his hair, his hot breaths fan over her forehead, and his chain dangles enticingly across her face as he stares down at her all blissed out beneath him. Nothing turns him on more than her words of encouragement, which are usually muted due to the fact that his omnipresent twin brother lives across the hall. But now that they’re alone, in nature — just like the night they met — all filters are off. It makes him even more determined to get her to cum so hard she forgets any of those sweet praises she’s mumbling other than his name.

It’s already so, so good, but as soon as he gets on his knees just enough to gain more leverage to thrust even harder into her, that knot in MJ’s stomach starts growing in a fantastically unfamiliar way. Her eyes roll back and Grayson reaches a huge hand up to support her head against his shoulder, sensing how perfect the angle is for her and wanting to help her maintain it. She’s getting tighter and wetter around him, so much so that he has to grit his teeth and hiss to avoid having to pull out and stop.

“MJ,” he moans into her ear, tugging on her lobe with his teeth, an unspoken warning that he’s close. He’ll hold on as long as he can, but he absolutely needs to get her there first.

In the back of her mind, she comprehends his cue. But she’s so focused on reaching the bursting point of that expanding ball behind her belly, she can’t help but selfishly draw every ounce of pleasure she can from him. She thinks she knows what’s going to happen, and it will be a first-time experience for both of them.

It’s only going to take a few more deep, hard thrusts, and she’ll be there. Almost there…

“Gray!” she squeaks, squeezing a hand between their bodies to push against his abs, just in time for him to pull out and her to gush all over him and the blankets serving as makeshift sheets beneath them. It’s an indescribable release that washes over her, her own loud, shaky squeals of pleasure distant noises in the back of her head. She can only see colors behind her closed eyelids, greens and blues and lavenders sparkling in her mind’s eye like a mystical fog.

Grayson can’t believe what he’s seeing. His shocked and aroused groan sounds obnoxiously loud and foreign in his own ears; the fact that he doesn’t bust his nut right there on the blanket next to hers is a miracle. Instinctively, he reaches his fingers down to help her through it by rubbing her clit, huffing out an incredulous laugh when her thighs clamp instantly around his hand and a little more of her juices come out, soaking his hand. His name tumbles repeatedly out of her lips, just like he was aiming for and unwittingly exceeding his own expectations.

He’s painfully hard as he leans over her again, kissing her through her mindless whimpers as she starts to slowly come-to, her damp thighs opening once again and allowing him to slip between them. Right where he belongs.

“MJ?” he whispers, stroking her brow softly and watching her face intently. “You okay?”

Eyes still closed and breasts heaving, MJ takes a second to respond, but she moans quietly and nods, puckering her lips in invitation for him to meet with his. He obliges, indulging her for a moment until he can’t wait anymore. “Where do you want me to cum?”

“Inside,” she breathes at once, reaching down to grasp him and bring him to her dripping pussy. Grayson flinches at her sudden grip on him and the overwhelming wetness against the sensitive head of his dick. “Come on, Bear. Want you to cum hard inside me.”

With a groan, he slides back inside her, and a few hard, sloppy thrusts later, he’s shooting deep in her pussy. He’s never cum so hard in his life, and he whines into her mouth with the timing of his spurts. She hums contentedly, obsessed with that feeling of warmth that comes with, well, his cum.

“So good,” he murmurs when he’s finally done, pulling out of her slowly. He grabs a spare towel and cleans up the liquid white that follows him dripping from her center. “That was incredible, MJ. You’re incredible.”

MJ shakes her head in agreement, clapping a hand to her forehead and giggling softly, her knees bent and swaying side to side. “I thought we had done everything to try to get that to happen. Turns out we just had to go back to the beginning.”

Grayson lies down next to her, turning her head with a gentle hand on her cheek so he can press their lips together. “I love you,” he says simply. “My pretty Peach.”

MJ grabs a blanket and tosses it over the both of them, brushing her nose against his once they’re cuddled together. “And I love my Gray Bear. Mine.”

“Yours,” he whispers in affirmation, tucking her head into the crook of his neck until they’re both lulled to sleep in their cozy little bougie tent.