#apparently theres some debate

[socksandbuttons]

THEY... LITERALLY I WAS JUST GIVING NICE ECLIPSE A BETTER LIFE IN MY AU WHAT U DOING???

[aloysarrow]

I wish GI wasn't trying to push people (kinda specifically longer players) away from the game, like damn. I really hope new players are watching closely and not just deciding "there are haters" or "complainers." Some of the things, like the age old where's the end-of-game road map, have been actual game needs that haven't been addressed for years. Game needs, guys. Idk, if you still call some people haters/complainers, then I'm probably gonna call you a bootlicker lol

[sporksaber]

I googled it and apparently it is possible and has been done. I also learned alot about world war propaganda.

Okay fuck it if this post reaches 666k notes by the end of 2023 I'll practise basic self care

Why 666k? Because it's funny and impossible so good fucking luck

[matamistral]

I am so happy to not be on Twitter because I can finally live in bliss. I don’t have to keep up with fandom discourse and just like dnf art to my hearts content

[irregodless]

i dont want to start a discourse but

[snekdood]

i feel like so much anti theism is a trauma response from being subjected to oppressive (mostly christian, since thats the pov i hear from the most) religious institutions. it reminds me of when radfems are like “men are bad so we need to kill them/wall them off from us/they serve no purpose and should be ignored/ostracized/exiled, etc.” and we all know they’re only saying that bc of trauma.

[lemmetreatya]

librarian!eren who knows he’s being sinful every time he watched you come in; his eyes always drawn to the extensive collection of oversized hoodie and biking shorts you wore.

how librarian!eren quickly realises that you’d only come at vacant hours, where the benches are cleared and the library finds itself void of other occupants — bar librarian!eren of course.

or how you occasionally make conversation with librarian!eren because he’s the only one there. even worse, because he’s a night shift worker and they only need one person on staff for ratio (okay but who the fuck keeps a local library open past six?! — it’s not like this was NYPL for people to be coming in at ungodly hours) but alas, there were budding learners, like you, who always seemed to make good of the toxic hours and used them accordingly.

well, on most nights, that was.

as librarian!eren is packing a few of the return books back to their rightful place, he peaks past a pillar and almost drops the 1st edition fantasy book that was over 150 years old.

because no fucking way were you doing what he thinks you were doing.

automatically he feels his dick jump within his boxers and he panics, because librarian!eren still has four hours of his shift to go — theres no way he could get through it bricked up. for the sake of his own sanity, he has to think chaste thoughts; like cute bunnies and purple frogs.

but no matter how many times he looked and tried to give you the benefit of the doubt, he couldn’t deny your hunched over position, cocked leg perched onto the bench and the sound of petty moans mixed with sizzling vibrations.

librarian!eren thinks to himself how on earth he’s going to go about this. ignore it and save your pride? or enforce justice and escort you out. it doesn’t help that he’s warring within himself but after a heated mental debate, he enters the battle field.

“sorry, but that counts as public indecency.”

and you gasp up at eren, startled, because never did you think you’d ever be caught — especially concerning all the other times you’ve gotten away with it. but now you panic because you couldn’t get a criminal offence to your name, not this term!

but despite that, librarian!eren has a different tactic to how he can implore justice.

someway, somehow, you end up with your toes hovering adjacent to your ears as librarian!eren wets his dick inside your squidgy pussy, his smile demonic as he presses your adorable rose bud to the meaty bean of your clit.

it’s disgusting and it’s weird because at some point you’re begging your local librarian to spit in your mouth and for him to make out with you whilst possessing a cum filled mouth, but he complies all the same. at the end of the day the both of you won.

you tell librarian!eren that you enjoyed the time and would definitely do it again, but apparently you had a thing against the familiarity of second times. either way, librarian!eren doesn’t care. he’s more than happy to go back to doing his work.

librarian!eren can’t believe what’s transpired tonight, but either way, he knows it wasn’t no scenario any book could make up.

[kaiasky]

I also find biden's debate performance dispiriting because id yknow, like to believe that theres some devil's bargain miracle medical cocktail that makes ur brain crazy good, overriding any fatigue or age or w/e, and they don't give it to me on account of it's expensive and the side effects are potentially lethal and during the comedown you need to be restrained because you've signed over your body to Lucifer for 1 hour in exchange for power. but of course the president has access to it in order to be awake for 7 days straight in times of crisis. But nah, the best we got is apparently still cns stimulants and a good night's fucking sleep huh. terrible.

[strangesem]

hihi!!

if you’re still taking requests.. can you do a Hobie x fem!reader 😟‼️❓

Can Hobie be really close friends, and the reader has a fat crush on him. Like following him like a lost puppy, doing sweet things for him typa crush.

And like, one day she goes over to his place and he’s all injured and in his Spider Suit, and she like freaks out?

THIS IS SO CUTE RAHHHHH

apologies to everyone who’s request I haven’t gotten to yet; this ended up being a pretty long one because I just couldn’t stop writing lol

hobie brown x reader (reader finding hobie injured)

a/n: I changed it just a little bit and made reader and hobie roommates lol (as I’ve said previously I see hobie as 19-ish)

ps I need more spider-punk gifs theres like 3 total

so you and hobie have been best friends since you were kids

and you’ve been crushing on him since you were like 14-

and when you got your own place, it was only natural to share that with hobie

because of his struggle with being unhoused, he spent a lot of time at your place, so it wasn’t much of a change anyway

and sure the apartment was a little small, and not in the greatest neighborhood, but it was home

or at least you thought so

as hobie started coming come later and later, you became unsure if he felt the same

even worse he consistently came home with bruises/marks littering his face and arms, and you’re sure if you could see the rest of his body it would be the same

he’d always hound you for being out late because of the type of people who hung around this part of town at night, but if you even try to ask him to be more safe? he i just shrugs it off.

“it’s different” or so he claims, but you fail to see how.

not to mention that, as far as you could tell, he didn’t even have a reason to be out so late.

and as his late nights bleed into early mornings, you eventually stop being able to stay up waiting for him every night, and that worries you even more;

what if he just doesn’t come back one day? and you wouldn’t even know until the next morning!!

but your school/work responsibilities, as irrelevant as they may seem compared to your concern for your best friend, necessitated you having a full nights rest

but tonight? you can’t sleep.

hobie had promised you he’d be home in time to watch the new horror movie you’d rented. and yet, he never showed.

you had actually gone to bed early, exhausted and knowing sitting on the couch waiting would only breed more anxiety as each hour passed; but you hadn’t slept

you couldn’t. not tonight.

and so, you decide to just get up and have something warm to drink; maybe that would help soothe you

you lazily drag yourself to the kitchen, spend a few moments debating between tea and cocoa, before delicately mixing together your drink of choice

it’s then that you realize you had apparently left the tv on? the volume is off but there’s clearly light coming from your living room

so, you quietly enter the living room to grab the remote to turn it off; only to see a body laying across the small couch you had recently bought, causing you to jump

“jesus christ hobie what the fuck- WHAT THE FUCK HOBIE”

you quickly notice the crimson blood dripping from his deep looking wounds, seeping into his clothes- wait no. spider-man’s suit???

one thing at a time y/n.

“‘m sorry, just kinda crashed here” his voice is hoarse as he grabs your hand and squeezes it in some weird plea to keep himself grounded

“OHMYGODHOBIEAREYOUOKAYWHATHAPPENEDISTHISWHYYOUREALWAYSOUTSOLATEWHYDIDNTYOUTELLMEYOUREBLEEDINGLIKEALOTSHOULDNTWEBEDOINGSOMETHINGABOUTTHAT”

translation: omg hobie are you okay?? what happened- is this why you’re always out so late?? you’re bleeding like a lot shouldn’t we be doing something about that?????

you quickly stammer out before running to grab all the first aid supplies you had in the bathroom and heading back to a way too unbothered hobie

“calm down I’ve had worse”

“YOU’VE WHA-

“calm down.” he grabs you by the shoulders and makes you look him in the eye “I’m fine”

“people who are fine don’t bleed this much, hobie.” you began working on the worst looking wound, applying pressure with a cloth to hopefully stop the bleeding “why didn’t you tell me?”

“y’ worry too much; especially ‘bout me”

“of course I do! you’re my best friend.”

“we both know it’s more than that, love”

you freeze; you can’t look at him. you’re too embarrassed to let yourself admit that he’s right, because you had always been just friends. and you were terrified of ruining that.

“I’m sorry”

“look at me, y/n”

you can’t.

“feelings mutual y’know, if that’s what’s got ya all worked up” he laughs, shoving your shoulder a little in an effort to diffuse the tension you had built up within yourself “always has been; thought I made it pretty obvious. you always were pretty oblivious though”

“no I’m not!” he smiles; you always were defensive too

“pretty sure y’a are”

“I will literally let you sit here and bleed out”

“no you won’t”

no, you won’t.

you just go back to addressing his wounds, trying not to feel all giddy inside, but also doing your best not to overflow with anxiety.

what are you guys then? this changes EVERYTHING- is it weird that you live together now? is it weird-

“you’re worrying again. and don’t try to tell me you’re not; I know that face”

“it’s nothing. anyway, I’m all done; we should change the bandages in a few hours though, just to keep everything clean”

you get up to go wash your hands, and maybe heat up your long-forgotten drink, but you’re interrupted by hobie’s audible sigh

“you’re forgetting something, love”

“I am?? did I miss somewhere?” your voice gets progressively higher as you check him over, worry bubbling within you

“y’ did, yeah”

he pulls you closer to him, briefly cradling your face before allowing his lips to brush against yours

“stay? f’ me?”

[arminreindl]

Large caimans, seacow predation and a new pepesuchine

What a week we just had when it comes to fossil crocodile news. Not one, not two, but three whole publications dropped this last week, each noteworthy in its own way.

The first of these was "New taxa of giant caimans from the southernmost hyperdiverse wetlands of the South American late Miocene", which coined two new genera of caiman from the Argentinian Ituzaingó Formation.

Tho the names are new, both are far from unknown. The first of these is Paranacaiman bravardi, which was described based on a fossil traditionally associated with Caiman lutescens (now deemd a nomen dubium). The second is Paranasuchus gasparinae, which was already described in 2013 under the name Caiman gasparinae.

I will say that I find the names to be a little poorly chosen. On its own either one works, but together they are very similar and feel like they might cause some confusion down the line, at least in science communication.

But that's just my own opinion. Regardless of nomenclature, they are interesting. I am currently working on reconstructing Paranasuchus, but I did wrap up Paranacaiman with a simple reconstruction of the skull and a quick scaling, revealing it to have potentially been just shy of five meters in length.

Barely a day later we got hit with more Miocene croc news, specifically a short note on crocodilian feeding traces being identified on the fossils of the dugong Culebratherium from Venezuela. The animal has bitemarks all over its body, but highlighted are those centered around the skull. In addition to simple punctures, some bitemarks appear to showcase dragging and slashing, possibly associated with the well known deathroll performed my crocs. Alltogether, this could hint at the fact that one of the large crocodilians of the Agua Clara Formation might have grasped the seacow by its snout to drown it before tearing into it. Given that the fossil locality is fairly new and the fact that they are nothing but bite marks, we do not know what crocodilian was responsible, tho the paper suggests a small to medium sized caiman. Feeding traces also show that tiger sharks got involved at some point, which mirrors fossil evidence from the Austrian Paratethys.

Artwork of the possible predation event by Jaime Bran

And the final croc paper of last week takes us back quite a bit further, all the way back to the Cretaceous. Epoidesuchus tavaresae is a new species and genus of pepesuchine peirosaurid from the Adamantina Formation of Brazil, famous for its diversity of notosuchians (and apparent lack of modern crocs sans one exception).

Now for those unfamiliar, Pepesuchinae is a subfamily of Peirosaurids, best recognized by having slender, very crocodilian-like jaws that may indicate more semi-aquatic habits, as opposed to the more terrestrial and almost pig-like peirosaurines such as Uberabasuchus.

I should mention that theres some debate around the nomenclature. The paper follows the idea that Pepesuchinae is a subfamily of Peirosauridae, but a more recent paper (which at least two of the authors including the lead worked on) has Peirosaurinae and Pepesuchinae both as fully-fledged families, with the latter going by the name Itasuchidae (which is the older name). I should further mention that the nomenclature paper coined the clade Peirosauria to contain both these families and Mahajangasuchidae.

Anyways, tho fragmentary, we know that Epoidesuchus had the same narrow jaws as many other pepesuchines/itasuchids and was likely semi-aquatic. Given that neosuchians are rarer in South America, it seems very possible that their nische was largely filled by these specialised notosuchians, which strayed from the usual terrestrial habits of their group. In fact, tho many different notosuchians are known from the Bauru Group, the only neosuchian recovered so far is the recently named Titanochampsa.

Below the gorgeous press art by Guilherme Gehr

All three papers in order

New taxa of giant caimans from the southernmost hyperdiverse wetlands of the South American late Miocene: Journal of Systematic Palaeontology: Vol 22 , No 1 - Get Access (tandfonline.com)

Full article: Trophic interactions of sharks and crocodylians with a sea cow (Sirenia) from the Miocene of Venezuela (tandfonline.com)

A new Peirosauridae (Crocodyliformes, Notosuchia) from the Adamantina Formation (Bauru Group, Late Cretaceous), with a revised phylogenetic analysis of Sebecia - Ruiz - The Anatomical Record - Wiley Online Library

[gabessquishytum]

So Desire married exclusively for money, but is now stuck in a sexless marriage with a dusty professor who they don't even really enjoy spending time with. The worst part is that because of the prenup, they can't even leave Hob, or they walk away with nothing. Hob has to be the one to start the divorce, or Desire can kiss the money and easy life goodbye. And sleeping around isn't nearly as fun when you have to go home to an indiffrent husband. So they enlist Dream who desperately needs the money to be a home wrecker and have Hob fall in love with him so he starts the divorce and Desire can walk away with the money. The bigger issue is that Dream starts to fall for Hob and hard. Everything that Desite insists is a turn off, Dream finds so charming and loveable. And so he goes into a panic because if he continues to go after Hob, Hob will leave Desire and loose half if his assets and it will be Dream's fault. But if Dream leave Hob with no explanation, Hob will stay with Desire, who openly hates him, and Dream will loose someone he really likes. And telling Hob will make Hob hate him, so theres no way Dream will get out of this without loosing the man he loves.

Asfhklkjf the ANGST hit and took me by surprise here!! Holy shit!!

From Hob’s perspective... well, he knew that Desire married him for money and security, and he was fine with it. He needed a partner who would dress up nice and be charming at faculty functions, helping Hob climb further up the greasy pole of academia. He knows that Desire cheats on him all the time, which is why he has no interest in sleeping with them at all any more - he's really not looking to catch an STI off his spouse, that would be too humiliating.

Hob may be a dusty academic tripping into middle age, but he still has needs, so of course he's interested in Desire's pretty, soft spoken brother. Dream is everything Hob would like in a partner, and it's pretty obvious that he feels the same - he's not exactly subtle in his looks and touches. They enjoy debating with each other, play board games, enjoy each other's company. Hob is definitely starting to see that he married the wrong sibling.

He is sensible enough to make Desire sit down and sort the whole situation out. Neither of them are happy, that's pretty obvious. Hob is willing to split equally and amicably with Desire, no one has to be blamed, their joint assets will simply be divided. Desire can even have the house if they want.

It's a perfect solution and Desire is thrilled to be free of their disaster of a marriage! Until... they start seeing a change in Hob. The way he is with Dream is so different, so romantic. He buys gifts, takes him on cute little mini breaks, and posts the cutest updates on Instagram. Stuff he NEVER did for Desire. Desire has overheard Dream whispering about his sex life to Death and they can't believe it! Apparently Hob is some kind of unstoppable force in bed?! Dream is almost exhausted from all the amazing sex?! Its not FAIR.

Desire is inexplicably so jealous, seeing their brother and ex husband so happy and loved up. Sure Dream did everything that Desire wanted and broke up their marriage but he did it TOO well! Why does he get to be happy when Desire is miserable?!

[scph1001]

thank you for ur input on the metaphor re:fantazio game 😼 now i am debating whether to try the demo or not right now, i am worried i will get too into it and i will hate waiting to actually get to buy it... but i like fantasy settings like it, what are ur thoughts on its story and gameplay so far? i like the redhead girl i like that she is a knight and the little fluffs on her ears are cute i think she would look cute with an animal nose and tail

😼😼😼 yeah not trying out the demo if you dont have the money for it is a good call it got me hooked pretty quick

long rant ↓

gameplay

-

gameplay is incredible. every bit of it is great. its a perfect mix of user friendly well also not being too optimized in a way that would make it feel all pointless.

them knocking out job systems on their first try is really impressive. messing around with combinations and trying out builds feels great.

also exploring towns is really nice. you dont really get that much with SMT so its cool to see!!

story

-

story is a bit more tricky. if i wasnt picky and conscious i would love it fully. ATLUS is very good at setting plot points up along with keeping things going at a constant pace. theres always a new plot development and new characters about. the overall concept is very fun- world building is good- characters have been great. it has all the works. it feels very expertly crafted. i felt like the start of some confidants were rocky but im a bit through brigittas and hers has been incredible so far..

i dunno it feels like many companies would kill to be able to pull off what ATLUS usually does at the start of its games.

on the negative. its ATLUS' first fantasy (in the DQ/FF way) game and they think they need to have all the fantasy tropes including race politics. theres already been one "hurting/killing your oppressors makes you just as bad as them" moment and i imagine there will be many more.

i am a bit wary of how they are going to handle royalty. very early in the game (literal first cutscene before you even click "new game"- so i dont consider it spoilers) you learn that they main villain you will be chasing after has recently killed the king and apparently cursed the prince in the past.

throughout the game characters talk about a fictional book where everyone is equal and they all go "i hope that can be our world. a world where the king is picked through popularity and the power is in the people sounds wonderful!!" they say all this but use it as a point to go "(the villain) is a tyrant since he killed the king for power we need to put the royals back in power" which is just a whiplash of tones. it feels so egregious to go "yeah the people should pick the ruler" and then go "yeah it sucks the king was killed he was perfect for this country!" that i feel like they have to be planning something.. they cant be that stupid.. especially given the fact that even P5 was brave enough to go out and criticize the government despite its lack of backbone.

also the game repeatedly goes on about how the religious structure / head in the country is unfair. i feel like theyre trying to go a weird middle route of "the state instated region is bad and oppressive but the prince and king are good since theyre #different". but also everyone seems lowkey addicted to the prince so maybe they are ensnared by his comatose charm.

i dunno. i have some hope (well alot of hope but less so in the politics regard) we will see where things go.

they do seem decently socially conscious (more than usualy moreso) and its nice seeing a game by the developers of P4 that isnt jumping at the chance to make fun of everyone ever and be seconds away from saying slurs.

CLOSING THOUGHTS!!!

-

maybe you could sue and get it for free since this character design seems ripped from your mind / style

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

hiiii mackerellll my brains also bad soup rn soup brain solidarity BUT nhw.... winters family torment nexus..... i did have a question for u actually. currently wading around in the tranches (early game nhw) n i wanna write them doing silly like teen traumatized child soldier shit like playing truth or dare or shit like that... what do u think their two truths & a lie would b? also like. do u have any thoughts on their civilian life. when they are Not on the job or fighting extinction level threats or having panic attacks at school. u know. that 10% <333

ALSO. NHW WAVELENGTH..... do u have any thoughts on him. my only secret backstory caveat is that he has to have the fucking worst shit nightmare rube goldberg machine luck of all time. third & final question im just curious was danny phantom vivisection real & canon or just like a Thing??????

ok im going to start with the danny phantom question bc im dyinggg to talk about this. pun intended. also this is my equivalent of rent-lowering gunshots. if u cannot deal with my dp posting u do not deserve my pd posting etc etc etc !!!

THE ANSWER IS. BOTH YES AND NO. it never Actually Happens but it is talked about!!!!!!! the whole thing is like. dannys parents are ghost hunters and dont know about his powers so theres a lot of him like. overhearing talking about them dissecting ghosts and experimenting on ghosts and such. not knowing that he is one!!! prime territory for somes angsty ass fics. however i am of the small minority that doesnt actually think the fentons are monsters apparently. they dont know!! how could they know!!!!! theyre scientists!!! do you know how much scientists casually talk about dissecting things!! its a lot!!! also theres been a few different instances of them finding out about dannys powers (almost always retconned by time/memory shenanigans but its fine) and EVERY TIME THEYRE SO SUPPORTIVE OF HIM. AND THEY TELL HIM THEY LOVE HIM REGARDLESS. AND IN ONE CASE THEY EVEN APOLOGIZE FOR SAYING THOSE THINGS AROUND HIM BC THEY DIDNT KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anyway. anyway. i digress bc i love the fentons. anyway! there are so many. SO MANY fucking fanfictions out there of danny getting dissected/vivisected. so many in fact that its one of the things the fandom is best known for by outsiders. enough that there was literally a FANDOM-WIDE DEBATE about whether to call it dissection or vivisection because dannys status as alive/dead is so unclear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lmao!!!!!!!!! worlds most fucked up fanbase i love it here

putting the nhw stuff under a cut. subjecting my followers to my dp ramble bc fuck you!!!!!! read about my ghost boy first

OK I AM SOOOO FUCKING BAD AT TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE. IM SO BAD AT IT I CAN NEVER THINK OF ANYTHING. so instead i am just going to think of fun facts about them. so actually im gonna kill two birds wiht one stone here and answer both of ur questions abt them. here we go !!!

i think it would be REALLY funny if william is the only one with a drivers license bc he grew up in Not The City (just because he has a license doesnt mean hes GOOD). dakota is lactose intolerant but chooses to be in stubborn denial about it (he canonically doesnt like ice cream!). virion, despite being compared to a cat so often, is allergic to cats. speaking of animals, william likes animals but animals DO NOT like him!! on the other hand animals absolutely love dakota he is friends with every stray dog and cat in the whole city. virion was homeschooled by his parents/the greats. virion also doesnt know much about anything in regards to pop culture/general everyday civilian life? because he was never completely removed from the cape world at any time growing up. no non-cape adults in his life. so he and william still have their movie nights where william introduces him to shitty b-movies hehehe. dakota tries to get him into more Normal movies like. disney or ghibli or whatever but virion likes the shitty ones more. ASSIGNING THEM FAVORITE GHIBLI MOVIES WHILE IM AT IT. this is not which ones i think theyre the most like, just the ones i think are their favorties. dakota likes ponyo, william likes howls moving castle, virion likes princess mononoke, ashe likes spirited away . dont ask me why. UHHH FAVORITE PLACES TO HANG OUT OUTSIDE OF THE BASE/HOUSE. dodgeboy memorial library. lightspeed hangs out there and they like her <3. antonios pizza. he lets them loiter bc they always tip really well. william likes going to the park because he has chronic Grew Up In The Woods disease and needs outdoor time or else he'll go crazy. hes not used to city life. dakota likes the park bc there are lots of little animals there and he can Run Around, virion doesnt like the park as much bc its a lot of Vulnerable Open Spaces and those make him nervous. speaking of which in my head ive grown so attached to the idea of him being so hypervigilant at all times. look at him ive given him anxiety!!! just like. the insane betrayal losing every important figure in his life immediately leading into a life basically on the streets alone picking fights with other capes led to . idk man i keep thinking about it like sleeping in shifts but its impossible to do that with only one person!!!!!!!! do u know what i mean!!!! basically translating the "growing up on fauna where everything wants to kill you" energy into this setting. HMMMMMM. I THINK THATS IT. THATS ALL I CAN THINK OF RN . SORRY FOR THE BLOCK OF TEXT

ohhhhhhh god. oh god oh fuck. i literally Have Not Thought about nhw mark yet like AT ALL only bc i know if i do ill get so sick about it. worlds most suffering man ever he is losing everything!!!!!! ok bc im thinking about lizard stuff tonight im going to answer your question with a question. we;ve kind of sort of talked about the existence of harttawa in relation to overlord and cauldron does he still get fucked up lizard mutations!!!!!! ALSO CAN WE TALK ABOUT HIS POWERSET. i have a lot of feelings abt him being at least partially a tinker. i think before u also called him a striker (maybe? am i remembering that right) i dont think i know strikers yet what does that one mean. WHAT WAS HIS TRIGGER EVENT. OR IS HE A CAULDRON CAPE. SHAKING YOU. I KNOW I HAVE MORE QUESTIONS THAN ANSWERS BUT. I NEED 2 GET TO THE WORM SECTION WHERE I GET TO LEARN ABOUT NHW ASHE SO BAD. actually i didnt get to read any worm this weekend so im gonna stay up a Little later just to get past this section where theyrre fighting the dragon suits. ouagh EXCITED.

[stonerskinny]

why does alcohol have so many cals 😭

weighed at 277 just now, it really is crazy what a single 💩 and a nap will do for you LMAO

now do i want to risk ruining that w alc and possible binging or do i just go back 2 sleep and be good

i’m 22hrs into this fast meaning if i skip going out and having fun i can take my sleep meds and probably get to 36hrs easy but i can also see the scenario where they just don’t kick in and i end up binging anyway plus i just was aiming for 18hrs

ugh why are there so many ways this could go

the switch is flipping actively, i think. who knew i just needed to get out of the cycle for a night.

i feel like i have something to prove. which i hesitate to admit, but it’s true. apparently when all your friends are restricters and your entire ed is just you failing at restricting, theres some interesting shame stuff that comes up LOL sometimes i just feel like a lazy gross piece of shit compared to everyone in my life because i am like this unhinged fucking glutton and everyone else has the discipline i’d commit war crimes to have

i feel like a wannarexic sometimes which i basically am

i just want to do something right and the only thing i care about is this which i am royally terrible at. sometimes it’s like all i know how to do is eat, doesn’t matter that i purge because im so big.

you know i’m gonna have to lose just over 2/3 my body weight to get to where i wanna be. that’s a lot of fucking weight and there’s no way i end up without loose skin so basically im fucked if i lose to where i wanna be, and fucked if i go crazy and decide to recover because i’ll still be huge. maybe if i actually worked out i wouldn’t end up w so much loose skin or if i did this slowly but slowly pisses me off because my brain is all about that instant gratification

the longer i’m awake the more i want to binge fuck

but i know i will regret it. i knowwwww i will. because ill feel bloated and ill gain and it’ll fucking suck. or ill purge, one of the two. there’s no excuse for it though. this body does not need food, it has PLENTY of natural resources to live on lmao.

i wish i didn’t most likely have the hellscape combo of hypothyroidism + PCOS which both individually make weight loss hard and weight gain so easy. but at the same time i can’t erase my failure by crying about genetics, if i really wanted to get there i’d already have gotten there long ago so now im just wasting everyone’s time.

can u tell the suicidality came back so strong tonite lol

i wonder how many ppl actually read these monstrosities that i write. how many ppl actually absorb my thoughts. trippy

sometimes i think i don’t actually have an eating disorder at all because i am just so inconsistent with anything besides binging. which i know is its own ed but let my silly little rat brain have its moment.

also apparently i literally sleep like the dead bc my hr was 40 when i was sleeping earlier so that’s fun no wonder i wake up feeling like a fucking corpse every day

okay that’s all for now i’ll spare y’all the rest of my brain while i lay here and mentally debate the pros and cons of both trazodone and tequila

[velvetvexations]

(i am not very accurate all the time so take this with a grain of salt this is half remembered and i wasn't in the drama while it happened) (also im getting like 90% my info from moonkitti) OKAY so it all starts with this character Dovewing(whom i will call dove). Thing that is important to note, the erin hunters are ghost writers and they do not have a warrior cat bible, so they use the wiki when they need info. which is really really bad cause the wiki at the time was dogshit. like really really shit. you wanted a characters personality? friends? anything? have fun scrolling through the mini essay they wrote which is bascially just a summary of the book. not fun. Also ppl didn't really like Dove for some other reasons which i can talk about if wanted.

So Dove's eyes were debated cause like every book they'd change color. One book it'd be green, another blue, sometimes it'd switch up in the book, others the cover would be one color, and the words another. Another thing to note, the fandom is mainly artists, AKA, people who need a solid character design. So naturally, they argued, and some of the time, in animations they'd switch the colors, in joke ones it would be rainbow.

Kate Cary(a ghostwriter) at one point said her eyes were blue so the wiki(which at the time listened to the word of the authors rather then what was in the books more) put it like that on the wiki. After a while, Dove got a solid eye color, green. Naturally people saw this and were like, "Hey, its green now." The admin of the wiki disagreed and eventually started blocking people who said it was green. This started a 9~ hour twitter mess were people were getting blocked left and right. The people getting blocked were having a good time.

Eventually, the fight stopped and the person(who also had some other stuff apparently) stepped down and moonkitti made a video on the whole thing. During that video, she talked about how shit the wiki was and how they really should fix it. Surprisingly they actually did fix it, its way better, they added official art, the pixel art doesnt look hideous, its better now. The end! (theres a reddit post that probably explains it better on the sub hobbydrama(?))

I had no idea the author of Warrior Cats is actually a team of ghostwriters. No wonder it feels so Homestuckian and stuff like this drama happens. Way too many cooks, I'd imagine.

[arkhavens]

the inquisitor getting absolutely batshit side plots that become almost entirely irrelevant the second youre not directly interacting w them is as funny as it is irritating.

you get this literal actual cult on nar shadda thats only ever brought up again near the end of chp.3 and somehow(without your input??) theyre the only ones producing this hyperspecific and important computer chip that you need to equip a fleet with lazers so strong they can just fucking obliterate anything

you unearth this ancient rakatan machine that 1- is apparently responsible for creating twileks, zabrak, and also the fucking esh-ka??? & 2- can rebuild your body(possibly even from scratch but thats debatable tbh) better than it was

theres a fuckin guy on rishi thats been getting messages from the rishi maze for 30 YEARS and they're all about making these machines that specifically lengthen the inquisitors lifespan, and say some really fucking weird shit while doing so(ie, "the tesseract is fear", "redeem or destroy", "someone must be sacrificed", "beware his desires")

and then theres the whole "even outside of the weird rakata machines and other misc bullshit, you still might be a lttle immortal, oops!" bc unless im remembering this wrong, thanaton flat out kills the inquisitor but it doesnt stick because of the ghosts?? what the fuck was up with that anyways