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afterspark-podcast · 6 years ago

Text

G1 Episode 3: Transcript

Episode Show Notes

[This can also be found on AO3!]

Stinger

O: Trying to think of a very Drift-esque thing to say?

S: Cleanse your aura.

O: [Laughter] Cleanse your aura!

S: Breathe in, breathe out.

O: Center your aura or some bullshit!

[Intro music plays]

O: Hello and welcome to the Afterspark podcast, an episode by episode recap of the Generation 1 Transformers cartoon. I'm Owls.

S: And I'm Specs!

O: And today we're going to be talking about episode number three, More Than Meets The Eye Part 3. Let's talk about giant robot shall we?

S: Um-hmm.

O: Last time on the Afterspark podcast: Rubies! Dams! Coloring errors abound! Explosions! But today we open up with Optimus Prime rolling down a kind of steep hill after the explosion in the mine.

S: This really hurts him for some reason

O: Remember this for later kids.

S: [muffled laughter] Ratchet and the other Autobots attempt to get Prime back on his wheels and get him transformed back into robot mode.

O: While Ironhide supervises? And does nothing to lift Prime!

S: [Laughter] It doesn't- he's supposed to be the strong-- he's one of the strongest ones there and--

O: --He's just like nope! Nope! I-I'm in a supervisory role, thank you.

S: And like Ratchet’s up at the front of Optimus Prime's cabin. He has such a lovely bedside manner. And of note! Originally Ratchet was supposed to be a female [character]. Apparently he was based off a character from One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.

O: Huh, dunno. I like grumpy medic Ratchet, though.

S: So do I. It just would have been interesting.

O: So uh, Optimus shows concern for his child, uh, Roller--

S: Um-hmm.

O: Did Roller explode? I can't remember.

S: No, Roller came- well, Roller comes zooming out of the mine. He escapes the explosion.

O: Okay.

S: But he comes zooming out and back into Optimus Prime's trailer once he is back on his wheels.

O: So, um, while they’re trying to get Optimus to transform back into robot mode, and I don't know why this helps and I'm sure there's an actual explanation out there, but the groaning while this is happening is-

S: [Laughter]

O: How do I put this? It-it sounds like it belongs in a very, very different kind of show and I just don't know why that was the line read--dear Peter Cullen: I’m sorry, we're sorry, we’re so sorry. [Laughter]

S: Just, yeah...That groaning. It- yeah.

O: It sounds oddly suggestive, that's all I'm saying.

S: It does.

O: So once he's transformed he's perfectly fine!?

S: Later in the series- well, later series, particularly the comics, are more explicit about the importance of transforming in their species, but yeah. It's- it's a big deal? And then suddenly, it's not.

O: It's very strange because Optimus is like, “Nope! I'm up, I'm on my feet! I'm fine!” But then the Autobots start digging out Bumblebee and Sparkplug. Uh, who are also completely fine despite being in the mine when there was an explosion.

S: It was a super convenient air pocket. It was just really convenient.

O: And then I believe it's Optimus Prime who says, “The Decepticons are finished.” Optimus has the smoke cleared!?! No!

S: It's another preemptive declaration. They're really good at doing those in this series.

O: Which is funny because I think in like episode 4 or something, uh, Prime is like a lot more pragmatic. And I'm like thank you! So shockingly the Decepticons are also fine. With Megatron standing and saying,”We are indestructible!” Megs, honey, no you're not, baby. [Laughter]

S: But he's so elated about. I mean, just super elated, and then they proceed to blast a hole in the ceiling and fly out of the mine.

O: Proving that Megatron is a dick to ceilings, yet again.

S: He's a dick to a lot of things, honestly.

O: I mean it's his def--his defining characteristic, so yes. “I'm a giant asshole!”

S: [Laughter]

O: Anyway, so apparently Soundwave is holding---so, so while this is happening where, you know, Megatron is espousing and they're getting ready to leave the mine. Uh, Soundwave is holding a bunch of Energon cubes that for some reason are not cubes and resemble the size and shape of cybertronian scaled pizza boxes.

S: Yeah it's-it’s like he's passing out lunch. I mean, totally serving it up. But like, these are the ones that for whatever reason they compress them by shoving down on the top they get--they squish?

O: Yeah but for whatever reason a few scenes later they’re squares again?

S: [Laughter]

O: Because animation errors.

S: Considering how they transport these things with the fact that the Jets just--- [Talking over each other]

O: Shove them in and fly off.

S: They hold them and they transform and they just sort of go into their tummies. [Laughter]

O: We’re very full. [laughter] So the Autobots see them flying away. Optimus does not pursue because they're too fast in the air, apparently. Ironhide says fuck that shit and follows anyway and Bluestreak follows to retrieve him. And by retrieve we mean: Shoot at Decepticons because no one can follow a damn order for fucks sake.

S: They're so bad at it. I mean, these are soldiers in a interstellar war that's lasted---I don't know how long it's supposed to have lasted---

O: I think it was 4 million years?

S: Yes, but that's how long they've been asleep.

O: Ohh, right. I don't know.

S: I don't know how long it lasted before that.

O: Millions and millions of years.

S: I guess--the thing is they're not supposed to be more than like 9 or 11 million. I think there is actually maybe an official timeline somewhere.

O: We should go check that.

S: I really should. Yeah, but they're so bad at it. I suppose he just wants to show off some of his leet skillz or something? Because Bluestreak is some sort of sniper, uhh, yeah.

O: Speaking of Bluestreak! Hello, Casey Kasem. Which if you don't know who Casey Kasem is, he is the guy who voiced Shaggy in the original Scooby-Doo.

S:He voices a number of other characters in th---

O: Including Teletraan?

S: Yeah..

O: Er, Teletraan 1, um, so he also voices the computer. But, this is one where he sounds slightly less computery.

S: He sounds more like Shaggy.

O: Pretty much. Anyway, this is the first appearance of Skywarp’s Teleportation ability. And for some reason he asked for permission from Megatron to use it, which seems strange--uh, strangely polite. Considering Skywarp’s kind of a dick.

S: He is! And he definitely wants to show off some leet skillz.

O: Look at me! Megatron, look at me!

S: And so, he teleports behind Bluestreak and Ironhide and starts shooting missiles at them, hitting Ironhide.

O: Ironhide then falls into some water, which may or may not be a lake and is retrieved by Bluestreak.

S: And he’s- he’s, like, drowning? This is-

O: We've seen them stay underwater for longer lengths of time so this seems mildly strange, but okay. Um, also hello Jazz's hookshot, again.

S: He “gently” cradles Ironhide's head after pulling him out, and that's “gently” with quotation marks.

O: [Laughter] Ironhide can't move but he can still talk, oh joy.

S: He informs Ratchet that he was hit, “in the back end somewhere.”

O: Insert your own joke here. Uh, they- he's been loaded up into Ratchet to return to the Ark for repairs.

S: More of Ratchets’ lovely bedside manner. Oh, he's basically the hospital taxi service. We'll see him getting back at Ironhide for various things later, I think.

O: [Laughter] During this whole bit with Ironhide and Bluestreak flying, Ironhide’s gun keeps disappearing and reappearing- so I'm going to break this down. Bluestreak catches up with Ironhide, no gun. It cuts, there's a gun, another cut no-gun, cut- ironhide's gun is coming out of the panel on his back, that's fine. Two to three more cuts are fine- the gun’s visible. Skywarp hits Ironhide with a missile and his gun disappears again.

S: Oh, and I think we should make it clear that the gun is supposed to be coming out of his back the entire time, every time it shows up it's not going between hand, back, hand.

O: No, no- yeah, sorry, oh, it does come out of his back and it's not supposed to be on there at all until we actually-- it cuts to the part where it comes out of his back. Yeah, reusing animation, poorly.

S: Yeah.

O: So, back at the Ark--

S: Spikes diary again, complete with an oddly large chin. I feel like they just didn't position his mouth quite right.

O: Probably.

S: And Spike thinks Optimus would make a good president.

O: I mean...

S: And I mean theoretically-- they've been here since before the country existed so they're probably, they could be considered naturalized citizens.

O: You say that. You say that! But Native Americans didn't even get the right to vote until years later, despite being actual citizens.

S: That's true, but it's different when they're large enough step on you. Probably.

O: That is a valid point, I'll give you that one! Anyway--We see Autobots mocking a caged Ravage, if you'll remember previously was caught. Uh, so bully the kitty.

S: There's an awful lot of bullying going on.

O: My poor baby.

S: And then Hound is dicking around with holograms--again, to bully the kitty.

O: Yeah, he, like, he makes a hologram of Megatron.

S: Um-hmm, and then Mirage asks Hound to make him a big house with a 4 car garage once they're back on Cybertron.

O: What the what the hell does that even mean for their society?

S: Does it mean, is he asking him to marry him? To live with him? To create a four-bedroom house or are those supposed to be four front doors? Are the garage doors the entrances, what?

O: Yeah what does that even mean? Uh, also hoe-lo-gram is said multiple times. Uh, Hound is weirdly tiny and oddly enough looks like he's partially in Ravage’s cage in one of these shots.

S: Eh, It's just another error, they didn't layer things--

O: Correctly. [Laughter]

S: Yeah. And then Hound gets the brilliant idea of duping the Decepticons with a giant hologram.

O: And then the Autobots subtly, very subtly, uh, talk about a secret supply of rocket fuel in front of- in front of Ravage and ACCIDENTLY drop the keys to the cage. So Ravage gets out and, uh, Autobots make a show of attempting recapture and as they tell Prime that Ravage escaped he says seductively? “Perfect.”

S: That bedroom voice, though. And the other Autobots look oddly horrified after the statement despite it being the plan and not really trying too hard to catch that damn cat. It's just the expressions, like, Mirage and Hound both sort of have round mouths-- [Talking over each other]

O: Yeah, like, very scandalized look on their faces and you’re like you're the ones that came up with this plan, weren't you?

S: Yeah and I still don't understand why Hound has a stupid little keyring on, like, his hip.

O: Yeah so, so basically, what happened is there's this little hook-- [Talking over each other] on Hounds body so when they're like accidentally dropping the keys for Ravage, he like hangs the keys on that hook and then, kind of, they kind of get jostled off and I'm like, what is the even for? Why do you even have that?

S: Why do you even have actual keys?

O: [Laughing] Yeah that's a good point too. [Coughing]

S: Then again these are robots that don't have, you know, security cameras, so.

O: [Indistinct] It’s definitely a little strange. So, then, Ravage gets away and reports back to Megatron about the rocket fuel stash and, and, and, by report-- I mean, there's a voice coming out of Soundwave that I don't think is Soundwaves’ voice? And I'm not sure if it's supposed to be Soundwave or if it's Ravage, despite- they never really have him talk in the cartoon? Uh, in every--in both here and every other iteration to my knowledge Ravage is sentient, um and uh, actually can talk. When he shows up in the Beast Wars cartoon I don't know why he's Russian there, but he is. Umm, but he is sentient, so I don't know what's going on with this scene, at all.

S: Well, he is always in a hurry to get things done, so of course he's Russian. [Laughing]

O: [Groans]

S: I saw--but yeah, it's really not consistent. Sorry, I saw the opportunity for that pun. [Laughter]

O: [Groans]

S: And then Megatron and Starscream squabble over leadership of the Decepticons.

O: So basically Megatron’s like, “I'm on to your plan, Starscream,” and Starscream starts whining about how it's time for new leadership and then Megatron says you couldn't lead ant-oids, or was it androids?

S: I'm pretty sure--

O: Probably ant-oids--you couldn’t lead ant-oids to a picnic! Which is a great line.

S: It is. And then Starscream gets blasted by Megatron’s fusion cannon after trying to shoot Megatron in the back, like, of course Starscream.

O: They're both fine after this? Question mark?

S: Question mark, question mark--

O & S in unison: Question mark!?!

O: Uh, so then the Decepticons attack, but not really? Uh, and Megatron mocks Optimus for thinking he could fool Megatron by letting Ravage escape. Also, the Autobots are all cosplaying as scientists in this shot cuz they're pretending to be that rocket fuel stash?

S: They’re humans or whatever, they're just wearing white coats which--

O: And I'm just like, I don't know how that would fool anyone? Even if sometimes the Decepticons are kind of morons, so are the Autobots. So I just don't know.

S: It's the beginning of a very long tradition of robots wearing clothes, I mean you see it in a bunch of other--

O: Yeah, all I can think of is that it's like comparable to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles when the turtles are wandering around like, you know, their bare feet in trench coats and hats and then sometimes terrifying human masks.

S: I mean it's not quite as bad as the time that, uh, Megatron in 2001 RID decided to cosplay as a red sports car.

O: Ugh, god, that's right. I would like to point out that Megatron doesn’t-- isn't really this Megatron, he- I think he was named Gigatron in Japan.

S: Yeah, yeah.

O: Because this was an anime, so I don't really count him and he actually shows back up in the IDW comics as a-- he's a separate character, is what I'm getting at.

S: He is.

O: I can't imagine any of the actual Megatron's turning into a little red sports car but um, it sounds fun? [Laughter]

S: It would be entertaining at some point. Maybe they'll do it in the future, we'll see.

O: So uh, then Megatron’s espousing to Prime and he shoots his fusion cannon and then lifts his arm up and shoots a smaller secondary gun from his elbow, that, I don't think ever shows up again and I have no idea what purpose this would serve.

S: It's really suggestively placed and, I mean, we nearly missed it when we were watching this, it’s just I spotted it and I was like we need to go back, we need to go back to see that. [Laughter]

O: Its so ridiculous, I'm just like what is happening?

S: But, yeah, it's really suggestively placed considering that Megatron's original toy had a, um. A trigger crotch.

O: Yeah. It's awkward.

S: Yeah.

O: So, the attacking Decepticons, like, the “attacking” quote-unquote, because the Autobots were getting attacked were apparently just made from scrap and they fell apart. But how were they walking to begin with?

S: They're really, really shity animatronics, I don't know? [Laughter]

O: It seems like a lot of effort put into this ruse?

S: It is but, I mean, Megatron later makes, like, a life-size Optimus Prime.

O: Oh God, right. There's a lot of things that just never show up again. Um, so anyway, then the Decepticons--we, we cut to the Decepticons actually attacking the real air base. Which just means them blowing up shit as usual. Uh, the base is the most confused air base in the world? It seems like it was supposed to be based on Cape Canaveral in Florida but all the backgrounds would suggest that it's in the middle of a desert or mountains? And it is definitely not near any water.

S: We looked this up on TF Wiki to make sure we weren't mishearing the bases’ name, and we weren't but it's, yeah, it's really weird. It’s--

O: It's really weird.

S: It's a cape in the middle--it’s Cape Whatever in the middle of of the desert.

O: Yeah, cuz I--

S: Or scrublands?

O: Or something. It's just, isn't-- it does not look like it's near water. So we-- we see the humans trying to fight off the Decepticons with cannons?

S: Yeah, they look like actual cannons. Like, cannon emplacement, like they're on wheels- they can move them but they don't look like fancy cannons. They just-- they just look like cannons that shoot cannon balls.

O: And I'm like, I mean I do kind of feel like maybe that would be somewhat effective, eh, just through sheer force of Cannonball, but still?

S: I mean, the thing is there's a fancy futuristic rocket in the background and they're using these old fashioned looking cannons. Why?

O: Umm, so after this happens, we- we find out the Decepticons have apparently gathered enough energy to leave Earth and are preparing their ship.

S: And it's purple they just love purple.

O: They do.

S: Got to have some more purple .

O: Uh, so the Autobots put together a group to attack the Decepticons.

S: And majordomo Jazz Rides Again.

O: And then we get the toy line up shot. Remember the toys kids!?! The toys!!!

S: All the toys. And then they take the humans with them.

O: Why!?! Why would you take the Squishies!?!

S: Because apparently, I don't. I don't know. I don't have any good reasons for this. And back at the Decepticon base they get ready for liftoff.

O: Which, for some reason, the space is like, in the middle of the hollowed out rock formation like, the ones you see in, like, westerns and so, do- do you think they hollowed it out or did they just find it that way?

S: I would have to assume they hollowed it out? I mean it's still apparently got a ceiling because it explodes when they blast through it. And you can see chunks of rock, umm, which I don't understand why they didn't take that away before, because going through a freaking rock ceiling you're going to damage your stupid ship.

O: It doesn't seem good for this ship. Anyway oh, so the Autobots attack.

S: They drive, then they transform and run and that's not...faster? At all.

O: You wouldn't think. Umm, Optimus manifests grass out of nowhere in a few of his shots. They're in the middle of a desert, what grass?

S: It's- it's not even, like, scrubby looking grass. It's looks very green.

O: Yeah, it does not look like it belongs there. Clearly this was reused from another shot. Oh! and then Skywarp gets to handle Megatron today.

S: Yep, yep and then we’re-- we're keeping-- are we keeping a running tally of who's shooting Megs in which episode?

O: We aren't, but we are going to mention it, every time.

S: Yes with as much innuendo as we can fit in, maybe?

O: Oh, I'll try, we'll try. Umm, so, uh, Soundwave’s brilliant operation name for this episode as he ejects three of his cassettes into the fight is: Operation: Warfare. Uh, Hound and Rumble fight, there's bad touch all around.

S: And Hound looks like he's underwater in this, ‘cause it looks like there's air bubbles going past him?

O: The only thing I can think of is that they’re maybe reusing some of the animation from the dam episode?

S: I guess, it's just--

O: ‘Cause, he was fighting him underwater there, too.

S: Yeah, ‘cause it doesn't look like dust. Those look like air bubbles, not dust so it's weird.

O: Um, Laserbeak looks huge in some of these shots for some reason, like, he's as big as the Seekers. He should not be as big as the Seekers.

S: There's some weird perspective stuff going on, I guess. I mean other than, you know, the noticeable errors.

O: The other errors, that we’re normally aware of.

S: He's just a hell of a lot closer to us than everyone else. And Optimus Prime and Megat-Megatron fight, again.

O: Is this robot flirting? I am convinced that this is robot flirting. Um,so then we see Spike disarm Starscream with a rock.

S: Impressive for a 14 year old, I mean, honestly, I thought he was 16, but you- but you brought up the page and showed me that he was 14.

O: We looked it up, he is 14.

S: Which really, really weird me out cuz I thought he was like 16 for like, the last 15-- how many years I've been into Transformers.

O: For a very long time.

S: The Decepticons escape on to their ship. Megs actually waits for all of his men to get on the ship before he enters which is really nice of him.

O: And weird, like we don’t--we don’t get to see this Megatron be nice very often, so it's strange. Um, I do want to point out even the elevator is purple, the ship is purple, the elevator is purple. I reiterate Megatron really likes purple.

S: Or maybe he wasn't being nice? Maybe he just wanted to make sure he had all of his soldiers and it wasn't a courtesy thing.

O: Eh, I mean it's still, he found enough value in them he did not want them to be left behind? So yeah, may be nice isn't the right word but, but actually valuing them even as tools seems a little weird for me.

S: Pragmatic. And he doesn't seem like he's the most pragmatic robot.

O: [Laughing] Oh, this version of Megatron is not pragmatic.

S: Um-hmm. And then Optimus does his best Shatner impression as the Decepticons blast off.

O: “MEGATROOOONNNN!!!”

S: [Laughing] And then Optimus commandeers Sideswipes’ rocket pack to pursue the Decepticon ship, and this is the only time I think, we've seen his rocket pack mentioned?

O: Yeah, and so were they using rocket packs to fly this whole time because that's not consistent. They, very clearly, looked unassisted in the earlier episodes and then like, Sideswipe later will be flying around and doesn't look like he's got his jetpack, so I don't understand?

S: As far as I'm aware he's the only one with a rocket pack, so I don't know what the hell. There isn't any consistency here.

O: Anyway, so Optimus is flying through the air and is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it's Optimus fucking Prime!

S: And then the Decepticons shoot him down.

O: Uh, so okay, remember earlier when rolling down a slightly steep hill nearly killed Optimus? Well, rolling down a kind of steep hill is nearly fatal but falling from space is no big deal because Optimus just walks it off.

S: Again, what is consistency and what the hell Optimus. Blunt force trauma from falling from space seems like it would be a hell of a bigger deal then rolling down a goddamn hill.

O: You'd fucking think.

S: And then Starscream decides to be an idiot, again.

O: All of the Decepticons slowly back away from Megatron and Starscream because they want to stay the hell out of this lovers quarrel.

S: They're smart.

O: Yeah, they--it seems like a pretty smart move to me. Uh, surprise Mirage, uh, is now on the ship and he blasts the ship's control panel.

S: As one does. And then, um, Starscream shoots Mirage and then Megatron blasts Starscream with his cannon again, like okay, really?

O: [Laughing] I mean, at this point, I just assumed this is a normal Thursday for them. Every week Starscream attempts to overthrow Megatron.

S: I guess, probably. It's just, I mean he just shot the dude that, okay, he was threatening you but he also just shot your- your infiltrator.

O: I'm telling you it's a Thursday--it's just a regular Thursday for them. Um, for some reason Skywarp comes equipped with fire extinguishers in his arm.

S: LIke, I think Thundercracker has flamethrowers, so maybe Skywarp has the extinguishers because of that? But he doesn't seem like the sort of person who would come equipped with fire extinguishers.

O: Like, I mean, unless maybe Thundercracker has a tendency to light his, like, light Skywarps shit on fire so Skywarp’s just like. “Look I don't like it when my shit burns, okay?”

S: Maybe. And then Soundwave is the only competent one here.

O: Oh my god, my baby. [laughs] Um, like, no I'm not even kidding I, uh, he isn't able to regain complete control of the ship but he stayed at his, like, station through all of this stupidity, including Megatron's and Starscream's whatever the fuck that was.

S: Tiff. Their tiff.

O: And we'll see later he was able to bring down the ship without completely destroying it. He is the best boy.

S: Um-hmm. He's like the, for whatever reason he's their chauffeur, he's the only one who's really good at driving.

O: Do you trust any of these other idiots to drive? I don't!

S: Maybe Thundercracker? He's the only one that seems serious but we also haven't seen him do anything…

O: Okay but he flies so I don't even though if that counts-- no, nevermind I'm talking about a tape deck being able to drive, ignore me. [Laughing]

S: [Laughing] Well, whatever hell else--I don’t know, I don’t know. And then Mirage bails out of the ship as it's crashing.

O: Don't worry they all had parachutes, they all survived.

S: I mean, yeah, there's a surprise parachute, he’s-he’s the most prepared robot. We'll see surprise parachutes later.

O: Yeah we will.

S: Why do they come equipped with parachutes but they don't have freaking cameras?

O: [Laughing] We're not forgetting about that.

S: I will never let the lack of surveillance cameras go.

O: [Laughing] Anyway, so the ship crashes into the ocean and Optimus Prime says, “The Decepticons are gone,” Arrrgh! Has the smoke cleared, Optimus fucking Prime, no!

S: More pre-emptive declarations, why do they do that? I don't-- God.

O: I'm going to say, I think it's weird too, because in, like, episode 4 or 5 Optimus is being really like way more pragmatic about it, but-

S: Yeah.

O: But here he is like, “Oh! The Decepticons are dead Oh! the Decepticons are dead,” despite them having lived through this at least, like, three times now.

S: Yeah. And then the Autobots drive off because, oh-okay you're not going to check anything? You're just going to assume the water killed them?

O: Shh! Shh! Toys. Toys, Specs, toys.

S: I love toys as much as the next person but I'm sorry, this writing is dumb.

O: [Laughing] It is. So here--so how are we going to wrap this madness up? Well, we're going to end with Spike writing in his diary about how the governments of Earth give Optimus Prime enough energy to revive Cybertron. Which, we will never hear or see this ever again.

S: True, true. And good thing we don't have to worry about those Decepticons anymore.

O: [Laughing] Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. Um, oh wait.

S: What did I say about preemptive declarations?

O: Uh, so, you'll be shocked the Decepticon ship is in fact intact at the bottom of the ocean and Megatron exits the as the episode ends. Surprise bitches bet you thought you'd seen the last of me.

S: Yep and you see him just kind of going towards the--

O: Ominously!

S: The surface.

O: Ominously to the surface!

S: Like a shark!

O: [laughs and then starts imitating the Jaws theme]

S: [starts imitating the Jaws theme]

O: Okay, but I'm just imagining some poor like, person out in the, in the ocean and this 40 foot robot fucking pops up. What, what do you do with that?

S: You stop drinking.

O: [laughter]

S: You swear off the alcohol. [Laughing]

O: [laughing] Yes. So at the end of that episode and that “cliffhanger”, quotations, um, that wraps up the original Transformers pilot, so we're done with our first three parter. Uh, what are our fanfic for the day, Specs?

S: All right, so we've got 3 recommendations for fanfic today. The first of our fanfic recommendations for today is “On Being Reduced to Instinct” by The Starhorse. It’s, uh, G1 Cartoon, rated K, it's Gen- so there's no romance or anything. Characters are: Mirage is our point of view character and then there's the G1 cast. So in summary: “Weird stuff happens to Mirage. Poor, poor Mirage. Whiney!” [Laughing] And so our character/theme for the rec this is based off of is: Mirage, and it is complete.

S: The next one is “Contra Mundum” by Cafei and it's a G1 AU, rated T, Gen, no romance, no pairings. Uh, the main character is an original character and then there's the G1 cast. So in summary, it's a Transformers AU. “The Decepticons have spread throughout the universe conquering and plundering. The Autobot forces are stretched far too thin and they cannot save everyone.”

S: And so the reason I picked this one is because this is the end of our pilot trilogy, and so I figured might as well do the aftermath of first contact where the Decepticons have basically taken over because I thought that would be an interesting juxtaposition with, Juxtaposition!

S: [Laughing] From the first recommendation, uh, the first episode, I think and this one's incomplete. It hasn't been updated in years, it's probably not going to be finished so take that recommendation with a grain of salt.

S: And then the third and final fanfic recommendation for today is Paper Airplanes by EmciiSquared. It's G1 cartoon, rated K+, it's General, no romance and so the main characters are Starscream, Skywarp, and Thundercracker. And in summary: “It's a series of One-Shots featuring Starscream, Skywarp, and Thundercracker, the Command Trine. Starscream, Skywarp, and Thundercracker, the Command Trine, have their share of stories to tell. These stories, however, are not among their proudest moments.”

S: And I thought we should spotlight some jets because so far all of my recommendations have been very Autobot based and, yeah, this is a collection of one shots. And let's move on to the fan art recommendations.

O: So, uh, the fan artist for today is Blitzy, uh, you can find them at blitzy-blitzwing.tumblr.com. They also have a Kofi which we will post a link to and they are [on] Twitter @BlitzyBlitzwing. They tend to post a variety of things. Uh, my personal favorites are a lot of their IDW comics, er, fan comics they've done. Some are based on like, canon stuff that happened but we didn't necessarily get to see. Others aren't. They all crack me up and their version, like, their IDW Megatron has the best facial expressions, like, not even kidding I think it's my, like, my favorite version of him.

O: So here are three Comics that I really enjoyed, uh, the first was a Lost Light Halloween, so you have the Lost Light crew celebrating Halloween. Everyone gets a costume, everyone. Um, then we have The Captain's Chair which is basically Rodimus arguing with Megatron on how, since they're co-captains, they need two Captain chairs. Megatron saying, “No, that's ridiculous,” and Rodimus going along the train of thought to, “Well, then, I guess I'll sit on your lap.”

S: [Laughter]

O: Which Megatron’s is not okay with! Obviously!

O: And then the last one, I'm just going to describe it as Rodimus being a little shit, uh, which I know is like him 90% of the time but, uh, it’s basically Rodimus being a shit to Megatron, so more of that.

O: So next time, we will be able to get into the series proper and we'll be done with the, uh, pilot. And I wish I could tell you that it was going to start being more consistent--

S: But it's not.

O: --but I can't. So, I'm sorry, uh, but buckle up, kids, cuz we're going to go on a wild ride.

S: A very wild ride. And that just about wraps it up for us today. Remember to check our Tumblr at afterspark-podcast.tumblr.com, for any additional information, show notes, or links we may have mentioned. You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter at AftersparkPod (all one word) and SoundCloud and YouTube at AftersparkPodcast. Till next time.

O: Bye!

S: Toodles.

#transcript #g1 episode 3 #afterspark podcast

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writeyouin · 7 years ago

Text

Swerve X Reader – A Human Crewmate - Chapter 9 Part 1

A Play-Date with Megatron Part 1

A/N – Based on a lot of head-canons from @rocksinmuffin and @straightouttacybertron so extra special thanks to them for that. Fun fact, Lepoteran is a word I made up based off Lepidoptera which is the scientific name for a moth.

Warnings – None.

Rating – T

Swerve watched as you paced the bar, speaking excitedly of the planet Hacathar which you would all soon visit. He loved seeing you like this, as did most of the crew. By now, quite the crowd had gathered to hear what you wanted to see upon visiting.

“I wonder what kind of people live there,” You beamed.

“It’s a space-port,” Nightbeat answered, happy to show off his knowledge. “Ships from all over the galaxy refuel in the port while the planet itself is for people to get a break from ship life.”

“Cool… Hey, will stuff there be too small for you?”

“No need to worry about us short stuff,” a slightly overcharged Chromedome laughed, patting your head with a servo which you playfully swatted away. “We’ve got to use our holoforms.”

“Holoforms?”

“The illusion that makes us look human,” Rewind explained. “We also use mass displacement to reduce our weights.”

“Oh yeah, I saw some of those when I was brought aboard. Rodimus, Maggie, and Rung used them.”

“They’re stupid,” Whirl complained loudly. “They don’t want us there! Then why fragging go?!”

“If you hate it so much, why are you going?” A mech called Wrecker asked angrily.

“Maybe I’m going to trash the place.”

“Oh yeah? How ‘bout you scrap off before I trash you?”

Whirl stepped forward threateningly, “You piece of scrap, I’ll-”

“I’ll bet,” You interrupted loudly, “that this planet doesn’t accept non-organics because they’re jealous; I would be too if I was faced with someone way more awesome than me. Never meet your heroes, right?”

Whirl laughed obnoxiously, “You’re right meat sack, smart fragger.”

“So, you’re not going to break anything?”

“Not when they clearly idolise me. Gotta keep the worship coming.”

Everybody watched in awe, all wondering the same thing. How had you stopped Whirl from fighting? Nobody could control him; it was a fact he was immensely proud of. If anyone bothered to ask Whirl why he’d acted so out of character, he would have lied or shrugged it off. In truth, Whirl was afraid of disappointing you. You were a clean slate, someone who didn’t know or care about his past. You understood him without trying to change him; in short, he respected you. Without showing affection or anything that would jeopardise his reputation, Whirl made the effort to find ways to listen to you, even if it meant taking the bait to obvious lies aimed at stroking his ego.

“Great because I’m looking forward to a little window shopping,” You chimed.

The conversation resumed at a normal pace once again. Meanwhile, when everyone else was in jovial conversation, Swerve worried between serving drinks. He’d spent so much time planning everything the two of you would do together that he hadn’t even considered his holoform. Swerve was no stranger to what passed as handsome on Earth and that concerned him. He wasn’t tall, slim, or remotely muscled and up until now, he hadn’t minded but what if you saw him and were repulsed or expecting more. There wasn’t time to change the holoform now but Primus, he wished he could.

Swerve opened his mouth to shoot a casual question about Earth shops but before he could, the ship’s PA came on, calling you to Megatron’s office.

When you reached the right corridor, Rodimus stomped out of the office. Upon seeing you, he pointed and yelled, “Just so you know, this isn’t my fault,” before storming off again.

You frowned, confused until Megatron called you in with a stiff, “Enter human.”

You stood awkwardly I the doorway, looking up at Megatron who’s discomfort showed. Despite his displeasure, Megatron spoke solemnly, “Thank you for coming, we have something very important to discuss. Tomorrow we arrive at Hacathar and it has come to my attention you intend to go to the planet’s surface. Unfortunately, I cannot allow you to do that, instead you must stay here with Ratchet. You have my humblest apologies.”

“WHAT?!” You exploded. “Why can’t I go?”

“A foreign planet holds many dangers for… one of your kind,” Megatron lied. He couldn’t tell you the real reason; that a Cybertronian aboard the Lost Light was trying to kill you and the planet would provide too many opportunities to do so.

You sighed heavily, “Megatron, I’m afraid I can’t stay on the ship tomorrow. I mean, I didn’t want to bring this up and panic anyone but- but- I’ll die if I don’t get onto a planet soon.”

“Excuse me?”

“Human’s need exposure to natural pathogens to survive, we store them in our blood streams for ages but I’m beginning to run low; if I don’t top up soon, I’ll- I’ll-” You managed to start crying.

Megatron shuffled uncomfortably, unsure of what to do; your lie was taking a heavy toll on him. He couldn’t leave you unprotected, nor could he let you die; his processor was working hard to come up with a workable solution.

“Very well human,” Megatron said tiredly, “we shall reach a compromise. You may visit the planet to replenish your pathogens however, I shall be there to accompany you for the entire day.”

“I mean, can you believe it? Megatron actually told me I can’t go with anyone but him. Does he really think I’m that bloody fragile?” You ranted at Swerve who was feeling more and more crestfallen. Once again, all his plans to make you happy had been foiled. It was almost like there was a force keeping the two of you apart.

Despite his despair, Swerve slapped on a false smile and hid behind humour, “Hey, it could be worse, I can’t believe you managed to trick him like that. I mean, enzymes? That’s hilarious.”

You grimaced guiltily, “Gosh, I’m sorry Swerve. I’ve been bitching at you this entire time but you’re right, at least I get to go out now. I wish I could still go with you but there’ll be lots of time to spend together afterwards. Hey, how about we get a few bots together for a game night when we get back?”

Swerve gave an enthusiastic thumbs up, “You got it.”

You beamed and stretched, “Alright, I’m gonna get some sleep before we hit the planet. Night Swerve.”

“Right and I’ll be right here… recharging.”

Swerve laid on the berth, thoughts once again consuming him. Did he have a problem? He’d already considered this time and time again, constantly switching between conclusions. It was very possible that he needed to get over you, for you were the impossible; despite that, he didn’t want to get over you. It was near impossible to stop thinking about you except for when he talked with friends, providing a distraction to his overworked processor. The only problem with that method was that very few people considered him friend enough to converse with; in all honesty, he was lonely before you came along.

“Damn it, why can’t she go back to just a hot frag fantasy? At least then, I didn’t care.”

You pouted as various bots went to the ship’s docking bay and you awaited Megatron who had delivered you a set of rules while you slept. Never had you felt more patronised than when you read them.

Rule 1: You must wait till everyone else has left before we leave.

Rule 2: You will stay in sight at all times.

Rule 3: No wandering off.

Rule 4: No outside communication without my permission - that includes other crew members.

Rule 5: There will be no mention of Cybertronians on the planet surface.

Rule 6: There will be no consumption of alien foods so as to avoid injury or disease.

Rule 7: No visiting of bars, clubs, or any other such rowdy areas.

Rule 8: No participation in dangerous events.

Rule 9: No usage of the name Megatron upon the planet’s surface so as to avoid conflict.

Rule 10: You will follow my instruction at all times.

You tapped at the datapad keyboard adding to the document.

Rule 11: No fun.

Megatron cleared his vocaliser at you, “I see you’ve been studying the code of conduct I’ve given.”

You turned the datapad screen off, hiding the addition, and forced a grin, “I sure have, Megs.”

“Megs?”

“Rule nine, no use of your name on the planet; I was just practicing,” You said innocently.

Megatron frowned coolly; you were almost sure his face had only one setting by now.

“So… can we go now?” You asked.

Megatron nodded and applied his holo-form.

“Whoa… dude, you look awesome.”

Megatron ignored the praise, mainly because he didn’t know what to say; very few had praised him unless out of fear and now, nobody did, not that he felt he deserved it. He walked to the docking bay with you by his side where he could keep an optic on you.

You gasped upon reaching the ramp. The planet below was similar to a rainforest, with thick foliage of the lushest blue creating a tall canopy over the sandy floor. Buildings were scattered under the bushes and trees in a random order; they were seemingly made of sharp, long slabs of crystal. You briefly found yourself wondering if they were onyx. Various market stalls outside the buildings had thatched roofs made of yellow, straw like flowers. With a mix of odd foods on one, clothes the likes of which you’d never seen on another, and technology on a third, you were reminded of old bazaars seen on films. Then, there were the people, all organics like you, yet wholly different. There was a person who looked like a humanoid caterpillar with a long body and multiple hands. Then there were hulking elephants of people inching their way through the crowds with polite exclamations. Somebody examining jewellery had a large maw with razor teeth and apparently no eyes or nose; that person was actually licking the necklace it was holding.

You beamed excitedly at Megatron; it was like nothing you’d ever imagined. You ran straight for the first stall, a clothes stall with labelled racks that indicated not size but species. Megatron glared, he should have made another rule, no running. He paced towards you, maintaining a dignified speed while you listened to the shop keep, a sort of moth man, speaking with a customer; you were amazed by the ship’s translator that Perceptor had previously explained. Eventually, the moth man caught you staring.

“Can I help you?” He harrumphed disdainfully.

“Uh yeah, sure,” You breathed, attempting to calm your boggled mind. “Do you have any clothes for humans?”

“You can’t read?”

You glanced sheepishly at the signs, “Oh yeah, right, sorry.”

“(Y/N),” Megatron glowered, appearing by your side.

“What?”

“The rules.”

“Oh come on Megs, I haven’t done anything yet.”

“Your communication says otherwise.”

“What that? I didn’t know you meant I can’t talk to anyone, I was only asking-” You faltered at Megatron’s scowl, “You know what Megs, when you’re right, you’re right, sorry.”

“Well, at least you behave better than Rodimus.”

Usually, you would have argued your point, but you weren’t willing to push Megatron too far lest he took away your outdoor privileges.

It took only a minute to find the rack for human section and when you did, you were disappointed to find only one hideous, mustard coloured jumper that was much too small anyway.

“What a bust,” You murmured, looking around for the next store.

Your excitement was quickly restored upon spotting a music store which was playing a song you knew well.

“Oh my God,” You laughed. “They have the YMCA in space.”

You grabbed Megatron’s hand, pulling him quickly to the music stall, where you started to dance, much to his consternation.

“Dance with me,” You giggled.

“I do not dance.”

“Come on, every ex-warlord should know how to dance. Besides, this one’s easy, you just have to make the letters. If you don’t like this one, I can see if they have the Macarena.”

“I have no idea what you just said,” Megatron deadpanned.

You danced with even more enthusiasm, and started singing along with your own words, “Old man, you can’t help yourself. Old man, do it for your good health. Old man, old man, come and dance with me, after that I will set you free. It’s the YMCA, come and dance to the YMCA.”

As you crooned, Megatron suffered; as it turned out, you didn’t behave better than Rodimus.

While you danced, Swerve was miserable. He’d visited all the places he’d planned to take you… alone. None of it meant anything without you; he was once again friendless. Now, it was approaching the planet’s early sunset and Swerve was stood by himself on a curved, wooden bridge which overlooked a flowing river; in a few short minutes, it would also have the perfect view of an effect known to occur on Earth, aurora borealis, more commonly known as the Northern Lights.

Light moaning revealed that Swerve wasn’t alone as he’d first thought. He looked around and quickly spotted a pair of the planet’s native Lepoterans (the very moth people you’d discovered earlier) making out amorously in the side alley. Swerve sighed despondently, sloping off in another direction; he couldn’t catch a break.

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hgfstreamchats · 4 years ago

Text

The Terror finale

thenightetc2Yesterday at 9:31 PM Hello! highglossfinishYesterday at 9:31 PM Hello there! We'll dive right in because we've got a great deal of Terror to get through. thenightetc2Yesterday at 9:32 PM Oh wow, sunlight HopolitesYesterday at 9:33 PM Yes, the sun does indeed exist. highglossfinishYesterday at 9:34 PM Everyone knows the sun is a myth invented by Those Who Live Above. thenightetc2Yesterday at 9:34 PM Ha! highglossfinishYesterday at 9:38 PM "And eating English lead." thenightetc2Yesterday at 9:38 PM That, too. HopolitesYesterday at 9:38 PM Pffft Yes Sounds delicious thenightetc2Yesterday at 9:39 PM "If you know what I mean." I swear, whenever there's an outdoors scene I'm struck by how they don't quite seem to be dressed for the alleged temperatures HopolitesYesterday at 9:44 PM Also I once again have made the unwise descision of grabbing food during this show Also To be fair No one is remotely prepared thenightetc2Yesterday at 9:45 PM ...man HopolitesYesterday at 9:45 PM Whoops! You Have PTSD! thenightetc2Yesterday at 9:45 PM God, poor guy

HopolitesYesterday at 9:48 PM As he was pulling off his sock I was so worried something horrible would be revealed underneath them highglossfinishYesterday at 9:48 PM There'll be plenty of opportunities for that. thenightetc2Yesterday at 9:49 PM I bet it's something good he just saw, huh See! Free supplies! HopolitesYesterday at 9:49 PM Oh yes Im all excited to see what weird horrors this show has in store for us, but also I would like to eat my food before anything- WHELP. thenightetc2Yesterday at 9:50 PM Ah. No bets on whether he'll end up eating those words HopolitesYesterday at 9:54 PM Ooooh yeah highglossfinishYesterday at 9:55 PM Got to love the study accumulation of things that certainly won't backfire horribly later. thenightetc2Yesterday at 9:56 PM Ohhh dear oh nooo, not the dog :< HopolitesYesterday at 10:03 PM I hope the dog reaches people before them Im reminded of a movie made of a short story done by the guy who did call of the wild that I watched in class It was about a guy trying to walk in the alaskan wilderness to a mining camp, and he literally had only a couple of shirts, and like, a dog My class cheered when the dog reached safety. thenightetc2Yesterday at 10:06 PM What just happened? The framerate has gotten super bad HopolitesYesterday at 10:07 PM Framerate is fine for me. thenightetc2Yesterday at 10:07 PM Like the picture just pauses for several seconds Better, now ...well, I spoke too soon HopolitesYesterday at 10:09 PM Oh okay cannibalism is happening now. thenightetc2Yesterday at 10:09 PM ~foreshadowing~ oh god :< poor dog... HopolitesYesterday at 10:10 PM This isnt even just foreshadowing, this is- oh thats wild. highglossfinishYesterday at 10:11 PM Cybertronians have cannibalism and a robust amount of things that consume us, but I have to say, it's a glorious thing not to be made of meat. This will end well for everyone involved. thenightetc2Yesterday at 10:14 PM Definitely HopolitesYesterday at 10:15 PM Cant wait to see what happens. thenightetc2Yesterday at 10:16 PM I feel no foreboding HopolitesYesterday at 10:16 PM Yes, this music doesn't bring up any worries at all. highglossfinishYesterday at 10:16 PM What a nice family. Only good times ahead. thenightetc2Yesterday at 10:16 PM Uh oh Is that that "paradoxal undressing" or whatever it's called HopolitesYesterday at 10:18 PM Hmm Oh its stuttering thenightetc2Yesterday at 10:19 PM Oh, it's even called "horrible from supper" HopolitesYesterday at 10:19 PM Okay, I kinda love the incredibly creepy music thenightetc2Yesterday at 10:23 PM Urgh ... so you're saying you deserve to be here, huh And that other guy really IS a fake. HopolitesYesterday at 10:27 PM I would embrace a horribly punny name highglossfinishYesterday at 10:27 PM I heartily embrace mine. thenightetc2Yesterday at 10:28 PM Heh. highglossfinishYesterday at 10:28 PM The Good News bell. thenightetc2Yesterday at 10:28 PM It must be! HopolitesYesterday at 10:29 PM Oh always OH OF COURSE highglossfinishYesterday at 10:29 PM That's the bell that sounds when someone hasn't been stabbed. thenightetc2Yesterday at 10:31 PM It doesn't get rung a lot, as you can imagine Oh, jesus SO now he's trying to frame some random people they ran into HopolitesYesterday at 10:33 PM Of course. thenightetc2Yesterday at 10:36 PM yikes Ohhh no "show me exactly where you were found straddling his corpse half-naked" highglossfinishYesterday at 10:42 PM Hah! thenightetc2Yesterday at 10:42 PM oh, that's not good HopolitesYesterday at 10:43 PM Ah yes, lovely. Ah yes, a bunch of lead filled idiots have guns. thenightetc2Yesterday at 10:45 PM "whimsical tinkly music" so he's, uh, enjoying those drugs for now HopolitesYesterday at 10:46 PM I think his brain is doing a wiggle thenightetc2Yesterday at 10:48 PM dude, stop HopolitesYesterday at 10:49 PM Goodbye miss! Have a better life away from this guys! thenightetc2Yesterday at 10:49 PM "come to my country! you can be treated like a circus animal and catch novel diseases!" highglossfinishYesterday at 10:49 PM Go with her, have a gaggle of tiny be-mutton chopped humans together. It's not going to get better. "Don't you want to die in eight months of smallpox?" HopolitesYesterday at 10:51 PM Is that the leg thenightetc2Yesterday at 10:52 PM What, uh... what's going to be in his... stomach HopolitesYesterday at 10:52 PM Please roll up your sleeves thenightetc2Yesterday at 10:52 PM Oh. HopolitesYesterday at 10:52 PM Yep thenightetc2Yesterday at 11:00 PM Well well. Oh damn it he's getting away HopolitesYesterday at 11:02 PM Amazing. thenightetc2Yesterday at 11:05 PM y'know, if the bear-thing's supposed to be some kind of revenge for all those murders, it has VERY poor timing HopolitesYesterday at 11:05 PM Actually no it has great timing I love the dichotomy of this scene compared to the previous one Its very funny Okay that zoomed in uncomfortably close to her face thenightetc2Yesterday at 11:13 PM Decent of him. highglossfinishYesterday at 11:13 PM At least spit in a few of them. thenightetc2Yesterday at 11:14 PM They're already all poisoned. Gaaaah HopolitesYesterday at 11:15 PM Whelp He is thoroughly befuckened. OOO DOUBLE SCREWED And hes the food isnt he thenightetc2Yesterday at 11:16 PM Ugh. HopolitesYesterday at 11:18 PM Whelp highglossfinishYesterday at 11:18 PM Well, then. thenightetc2Yesterday at 11:18 PM So it's the scurvy, then HopolitesYesterday at 11:20 PM Eyup thenightetc2Yesterday at 11:20 PM Yes, yes, we get it, you're laying the groundwork to eat someone soon. HopolitesYesterday at 11:21 PM Like, how obvious can they be? thenightetc2Yesterday at 11:22 PM So he's going to be first. "Good news, everyone!" highglossfinishYesterday at 11:23 PM Hah! thenightetc2Yesterday at 11:26 PM "there will be NO cannibalism on THIS trip" HopolitesYesterday at 11:28 PM Well, nice to see she got back to her people safe. thenightetc2Yesterday at 11:28 PM yeah ah highglossfinishYesterday at 11:37 PM Everything about these two hurts. thenightetc2Yesterday at 11:37 PM an albatross, perhaps? god burn poor guy HopolitesYesterday at 11:41 PM Several layers of Oof highglossfinishYesterday at 11:42 PM The oof never ends. HopolitesYesterday at 11:42 PM AN EVEN LOUDER OOF SharpwingYesterday at 11:46 PM Hi all! I am. At Walmart. So I cannot join in to watch... apparently foreshadowed cannibalism But I would like to say hi anyway HopolitesYesterday at 11:47 PM It is no longer foreshadowed highglossfinishYesterday at 11:47 PM Oh no, it's very much the opposite by this point. SharpwingYesterday at 11:47 PM agh highglossfinishYesterday at 11:47 PM But glad to have you pop in just the same. SharpwingYesterday at 11:48 PM Ok no regrets about not seeing... that. But yes! It's great to see you! How ya doing? thenightetc2Yesterday at 11:50 PM oof highglossfinishYesterday at 11:50 PM No complaints! And you? HopolitesYesterday at 11:51 PM Oh okay mr hickey has gone full weird SharpwingYesterday at 11:51 PM No complaints here either!:blush: oof, weird how? (If you feel like elaborating) HopolitesYesterday at 11:51 PM Standing int the super cold morning smiling smuggly thenightetc2Yesterday at 11:51 PM on a table HopolitesYesterday at 11:52 PM Also only wearing one layer of clothes SharpwingYesterday at 11:52 PM Yep that's Very Weird HopolitesYesterday at 11:57 PM "But what about second mutiny?" thenightetc2Yesterday at 11:57 PM pffffff highglossfinishYesterday at 11:57 PM Hah! Local man ruins everything. HopolitesToday at 12:00 AM Whoopsiedoo! highglossfinishToday at 12:04 AM Last episode. Here we go. HopolitesToday at 12:04 AM Woooo! Cant wait to see what slightly insane things will happen next! Im going to guess they will proceed to lose, at least, ten men. thenightetc2Today at 12:10 AM oof :< HopolitesToday at 12:14 AM Oh boy thenightetc2Today at 12:16 AM ...he poisoned himself in some way? highglossfinishToday at 12:16 AM Oh, this is excruciating. HopolitesToday at 12:17 AM Fascinating hallucination. thenightetc2Today at 12:18 AM ... gaaah highglossfinishToday at 12:24 AM Very gaah. HopolitesToday at 12:24 AM Sometimes I hate having pain empathy. Eesh thenightetc2Today at 12:26 AM definitely was covering himself in poison at the end there, then HopolitesToday at 12:27 AM Ooooh yeeeeeah thenightetc2Today at 12:28 AM ...I remember once someone asked you what you thought the worst thing one human could do to another would be, and you said you thought it was probably forcing someone to eat, well, this Can't imagine why I remembered that just now! HopolitesToday at 12:29 AM HAH Hopefully they dont have the lowest bidder for food. Again. HopolitesToday at 12:30 AM I mean, at that point it would be funny. Nooot really on the fur department. thenightetc2Today at 12:32 AM Called it. HopolitesToday at 12:32 AM Of course. Very inspirational. Just shoot him. thenightetc2Today at 12:36 AM I can't get over how fucked up it looks. Is this a SHAVED bear? HopolitesToday at 12:36 AM The bear has no fur Like, how will they make a coat from it? thenightetc2Today at 12:36 AM Good point. HA HopolitesToday at 12:37 AM Is the reason why the bear looks like that because- HA! HAAAA! thenightetc2Today at 12:37 AM GOOD RIDDANCE HopolitesToday at 12:38 AM But yeah, does the bear look like that because a proper polar bear would be too cute and fluffy looking? highglossfinishToday at 12:38 AM It's covered with a fine layer of fuzz and old man skin. They can make a coat of that. I think it's to emphasize that it's not an actual bear. HopolitesToday at 12:39 AM Right yeah, it had creepily human eyes. thenightetc2Today at 12:39 AM Gotta be OH NO highglossfinishToday at 12:46 AM You did the best you could, Stumpy. thenightetc2Today at 12:48 AM the camp of people who are definitely still alive HopolitesToday at 12:48 AM I once again have to say that I like the music highglossfinishToday at 12:48 AM Likewise. thenightetc2Today at 12:48 AM very eerie. okay WHAT HopolitesToday at 12:49 AM Uh what thenightetc2Today at 12:49 AM What the fuck has been going on here highglossfinishToday at 12:49 AM Apparently they really did find him like that, and absolutely no one then or now can explain why. HopolitesToday at 12:49 AM Wild! What the fuck! thenightetc2Today at 12:50 AM Maybe they all got the hypothermia madness HopolitesToday at 12:50 AM Also I love by the bend in his sleeve you can tell the actor has just, tucked his hand into it. highglossfinishToday at 12:50 AM Sensible child. thenightetc2Today at 12:51 AM dude did you not realize she has a name HopolitesToday at 12:51 AM SHE HAS A NAME YOU DIPSHIT highglossfinishToday at 12:52 AM I wonder if she ever told Goodsir. thenightetc2Today at 12:54 AM ...oh HopolitesToday at 12:54 AM Oh its because she summoned the monster highglossfinishToday at 12:54 AM It's because it died on her watch. And that's The Terror! thenightetc2Today at 12:59 AM Well. It sure was! That was a hell of a thing. HopolitesToday at 12:59 AM I do appreciate how much the show kept telling us that the British didnt belong there highglossfinishToday at 12:59 AM Wasn't it just? Awfully nice of them to let him live with them after his men killed one of their shaman and then their protector spirit. thenightetc2Today at 1:01 AM Yes SharpwingToday at 1:01 AM :eyes:like what thenightetc2Today at 1:01 AM He had some weird piercings in his face, and chains--like, jewellery chains--attached to them HopolitesToday at 1:02 AM Im sorry but I love this video making fun of the british mispronouncing a inuit word SharpwingToday at 1:02 AM Isn't getting a piercing a common occurrence during a crisis? HopolitesToday at 1:03 AM COLD BOYS thenightetc2Today at 1:03 AM ldfkjg HopolitesToday at 1:05 AM Is this a cheesy edit someone did I feel I shouldn't be giggling at this edit like I am. thenightetc2Today at 1:08 AM Sea shanty SNL? highglossfinishToday at 1:08 AM OH, YES! Perfect! thenightetc2Today at 1:12 AM FOrty-five minutes from shore! HopolitesToday at 1:13 AM Amazing. thenightetc2Today at 1:13 AM Very amazing. highglossfinishToday at 1:13 AM And that, I believe, is a good place to wrap it up! thenightetc2Today at 1:13 AM Well! Thank you, once more, for hosting. HopolitesToday at 1:14 AM Rest well! highglossfinishToday at 1:14 AM And thank you for allowing me to subject you to this show! HopolitesToday at 1:14 AM Was fun! Always nice to make fun of the british. SharpwingToday at 1:14 AM :blush::wave: Thank you! I hope your next two weeks is good♡ highglossfinishToday at 1:14 AM And yours too! thenightetc2Today at 1:14 AM Goodnight! ...I actually have a suggestion for next time, if you're interested in something animated and a bit stupid. Latte and the magic waterstone highglossfinishToday at 1:17 AM Looks promising and delightfully stupid. Latte it is. thenightetc2Today at 1:18 AM :D

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iky92791 · 8 years ago

Photo

So FINALLY I get to show these two pieces off.

The originals can be found on my DeviantART here and here:

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After doing a lot of the art for Renegade Rhetoric and Echoes and Fragments, I was on a GoBots high…probably mostly because before all this I knew little to nothing about GoBots, so it was fun breaking into something new and being a part of breathing new life into this underdog franchise. I had expressed to Jim Sorenson my overly ambitious goal to eventually draw and redesign every GoBots character, if for no other reason, just for fun. Eventually Jim approached me with just the opportunity, except for something actually canon…so that was a huge plus. He told me that Andrew Hall was interested in a huge poster of literally everybody from GoBots…so I was down.

While it still wasn’t exactly clear WHAT the poster would be used for, the project evolved into a set of two posters: one for all the Guardians and one for all the Renegades. And more specifically, they were to homage the “Goodbye Convoy” and “Goodbye Megatron” posters that came with the respective gift sets.

http://www.tfw2005.com/boards/attachments/10-jpg.27332166/

So my mission was to complete both of these posters, include every GoBots character, and makes them all recolors/retools of existing Transformers designs so as to avoid any copyright/trademark fiascos. (Actually, any Hasbro-owned design was at my disposal, though I was able to manage sufficiently within the realm of Transformers.) Oh, and the amount of time I originally had to complete the posters decreased significantly, offering me only two months to complete them both. (And having a family, full-time job, and not being an amazingly quick/efficient artist made this quite the challenge.) But I sold my soul, and got to work…and HOO BOY did I work, but - dear fragging Primus - I actually did it! Finished each one in exactly a month…and I must say that these posters have been my most grandiose artistic undertakings, and I was quite astounded and impressed with myself for actually completing something so damn huge AND doing it on time (OK, well…each one went like a day over my deadline, but whatevs :P) Drained as I was at the end of it all, I was also at the same time super invigorated to start doing some more art to help out with Beast Wars: Uprising, and my confidence in myself as an artist had increased drastically. Also, with the enormity of these projects, everything after that seemed thoroughly achievable. (Oh, and I later found out these posters would actually be used in the Spatiotemporal Challengers finale…so that was really exciting…and then literally 10 minutes before the story went live, they were apparently cut from the story. But Jim was still so kind to use them for Renegade Rhetoric. So either way, I’m still quite enthused!)

But I won’t get into everything else regarding my adventures doing Fun Pub art right now. The focus of this post is on the GoBots posters and some things I’d like to share about them.

So I did a ton of research and did my best to include every (or nearly every) GoBots character in these two posters. I made sure to include every Guardian and Renegade from the Challenge of the GoBots cartoon (including show-exclusive characters) as well as every toy-exclusive character as well - and not just the ones from the “main” toy line, but the obscure, miscellaneous ones as well. I specifically begged Jim to include Scooter Bot (which he fortunately supported), so I threw in the other weirdos like “AM Radio”, “Laser Gun”, “Trans AM”, and the other non-RoGun Arco GoBots. Considering these guys were factionless, Jim and I had to group them accordingly…so they’ve now been sorted onto their appropriate for these posters. We also agreed that the model kit character “Turbo Teen” was TOO weird to justifiably include, so he’s been left out.

Jim said I didn’t HAVE to include Rock Lords, Jewel Lords, and Fossil Lords, but I was feeling REALLY ambitious (and I’m a self-destructive completionist at heart), so I did my best to include them. In the end though, due to time restraints and the fact that it would visually be very difficult to include THAT many additional characters that weren’t even GoBots proper, only the major ones made the cut. Boulder, Nuggit, and Magmar were the most significant Rock Lords, so they got to squeeze their way into this cacophony, and Solitaire was the representative Jewel Lord. Sadly, none of the Fossil Lords or Narlies made it.

Regrettably, its been several months since I’ve finished these posters, and I’ve very recently discovered some more super obscure characters from play sets and other merchandise that I would’ve included had I known about them previously. There’s A-Tak from the HO Train Set, the little dude from the Mystery Tunnel Roller Coaster, the four different colored Bubble Blowers, the 3-in-1 Communication System, and some little guy that literally turns into the GoBots logo. (OK, so that one would probably have been too weird to use too…but still.) I’m sure one day I’ll draw them, though.

Now more specifically regarding everyone I did draw, I’ve compiled a guide to who’s who and what bodies they’re modeled after. Also to note, in order to resemble the original GoBots characters as much as I could beyond just a paint job, I chose different heads from OTHER Transformers characters that most resembled the original heads of the GoBots characters…or at least the ones that most readily came to mind when I referenced the GoBots characters’ original designs.

So here’s a list of everybody (with numbers matching the above images):

Guardians

1. Command Center - CW Sky Lynx (with the legs out) 2. Flip Top - CW Alpha Bravo 3. Guide Star - Generations Payload with G1 Beachcomber’s head 4. Bent Wing - CW Powerglide 5. Ace - DotM Powerglide 6. Bolt - TF 2010 Highbrow with Armada Oval’s head 7. Bullseye - G1 Windsweeper with G2 Hooligan’s head 8. Sky Fly - Armada Ramjet 9. Steamer - Go-Bots Randy with G1 Bumper’s head 10. Blaster - Armada Wreckage 11. Baron/Professor Von Joy - Alternators Camshaft (modified so the top of the car becomes his head) 12. Solitaire - Armada Thunderwing with Animated Red Alert’s head 13. Bullet - G1 Shouki 14. Night Ranger - Cybertron Lugnutz 15. Boulder - BW Under-3 with Infiltration Ratchet’s head (specifically Guido Guidi’s cover for issue #2) 16. Nuggit - BW Eggbot with MTMTE Fulcrum’s head 17. Good Knight - TF 2010 Hubcap with Armada Incinerator’s head 18. Small Foot - G1 Gears 19. Dive-Dive - Cybertron Deepdive 20. Shotgun - WFC/FoC Shockwave with MTMTE Rung’s head 21. Rifle - TR Galvatron (modified to have G1 Sentinel “guard” head) 22. Scope - Universe 08 Nightstick 23. Squirt - CW Shockwave with Armada Stormcloud’s head 24. Pistol - AM O.P. 25. Tic Toc - Movie Meantime 26. Scooter Bot - Generations Metroplex (with a modified face) 27. Spay-C - OC Raker with TF 2010 Sea Spray’s head 28. Path Finder - G1 Cosmos 29. Royal-T - CW Quickslinger with Prime Vehicon head 30. Treds - G1 Warpath 31. Man-O-War - G1 Seaspray 32. Beamer - G1 Windcharger 33. Dart - RotF Knock Out 34. Raizor - G1 Rotorstorm with Armada Gunbarrel’s head 35. Road Ranger - G1 Huffer 36. Motosan/Mr. Moto - Armada Sureshock 37. Defendor - Movie Brawl with Classics Jetfire’s battle mask head 38. Dumper - CW Long Haul 39. Dozer - CW Bonecrusher with CW Scrapper’s head 40. Tri-Trak - DotM Backfire with Cybertron Ransack’s head (with an added mouthplate) 41. Jack Attack - Classics Bumblebee with Armada Iceberg’s head 42. Rest-Q - G1 Hubcap 43. Leader-1 - CW Air Raid with CW Quickslinger’s head 44. Twister - Energon Bulkhead with CW Onslaught’s head 45. Hitch Hiker - G1 Omega Spreem 46. Courageous - OC Sky Sweeper 47. Mach-3 - CW Fireflight 48. Wrong Way - G1 Spinister 49. Space Hawk - Prime Star Hammer 50. Major Mo - Universe 08 Prowl with his head from Echoes and Fragments 51. Super Couper - TF 2010 Hubcap 52. Rumble - BM Blastcharge 53. Tail Pipe - Masterpiece Sideswipe with Cybertron Red Alert’s head (with an added mouthplate) 54. Zeemon - G1 Firecracker (modified so the top of the car becomes his head) 55. Turbo - CW Breakdown 56. Scratch - G1 Trailbreaker with G1 Arcee’s head 57. Throttle - Cybertron Offshoot with CW Counterpunch’s head 58. Hi-Way - modified TF vs. G.I. Joe “Bus Decepticon” 59. Scooter - CW Groove 60. Hans-Cuff - CW Streetwise 61. Van Guard - G1 Skids 62. Sparky - G1 Runamuck with Universe Roulette/Universe Shadow Striker’s head 63. Street Heat - Universe 08 Sunstreaker with MP Ironhide’s head 64. Trans AM - G1 Roadhandler with RID01 Hot Shot’s head 65. Wrecks - Armada Scavenger with Timelines Strika’s head 66. Ridge Runner - Spittor’s Cybertronian form from BW: The Gathering 67. Heat Seeker - G1 Dreadwind 68. Spy-Eye - Classics Jetfire with G1 Whirl’s head 69. Apollo - Armada Sky Blast 70. Pumper - CW Hot Spot with CW Hook’s head 71. Staks - CW Optimus Prime with his head tucked in 72. AM Radio (who I’m calling Radio-Head) - Spychanger Prowl 2 (modified so the top of the car becomes his head) 73. Tork - Cybertron Dirt Boss with Armada Spiral’s head

Renegades:

1. Thruster - Victory Thunder Arrow 2. Twin Spin - PCC Searchlight 3. Quick-Step - Hero Mashers Grimlock 4. Traitor - Animated Waspinator with G1 Ransack’s head 5. Geeper-Creeper - Energon Strongarm 6. Grungy - OC Sky Sweeper 7. Bad Boy - G1 Powerglide 8. Bug Bite - Classics Bumblebee 9. Nemesis - Prime Bumblebee Battle Suit 10. Chaos - G1 Flywheels with Armada Jetstorm’s head 11. Decker Decker - Bendy-Bus Prime 12. Scales BM Thrust (modified so the cycle-mode’s head becomes the robot mode’s head too…except it’s G1 Rippersnapper’s head) 13. Slicks - G2 Double Clutch with Cybertron Hardtop’s head 14. Pow Wow - G1 Crankcase with Armada Blurr’s head (with the “side wings” removed) 15. Psycho - TR Blurr (modified so his cockpit becomes his head) 16. Magmar - Protoform Optimus Prime with LSotW Impactor’s head 17. Stinger - Masterpiece Tracks with G1 Searchlight’s head 18. Destroyer - Classics Broadside (with his turret turned around so he has a cannon for a face) 19. Fly Trap - RB Salvage 20. Herr Feind/Doctor Go - G2 Blowout (modified so the top of the car becomes his head…and added a monocle) 21. Fitor - Classics Ramjet 22. BuggyMan - G1 Beachcomber 23. R-Navi (BM Technorganic Waspinator) 24. Laser Gun - Masterpiece Shockwave with G1 Onslaught’s head 25. Crasher - Classics Mirage 26. Cy-Kill - Generations Wreck-Gar with CW Dragstrip’s head 27. Monsterous - IDW Monstructor with BW Tripredacus’ head (specifically based on Don Figueroa’s design): — Fright Face - Slog — South Claw - Wildfly — Weird Wing - Bristleback — Heart Attack - Birdbrain — Gore Jaw - Scowl — Fangs - Icepick (They’d probably all have different heads, but obviously I didn’t need to figure them out for this project.) 28. Sky-Jack - G1 Talon with Armada Jolt’s head (with no mouthplate…as per his appearance in the PS2 game and pack-in comic) 29. Zero - RotF Ransack with SotW Ostaros’ head 30. Breez - PCC Searchlight with G1 Pipes’ head 31. Puzzler - modified CW-styled Combiner with RB Chase’s head: — Tic Tac - TF 2010 Tracks (modified to transform into a Combiner body) — Pocket - CW Breakdown — Crossword - CW Dead End — Zig Zag - CW Streetwise — Rube - CW Wheeljack — Jigsaw - CW Blackjack (They, also, would probably have been given different heads had it been necessary.) 32. Water Walk - CW Powerglide (with modified “sunglasses-styled” eyes/visor) 33. Stallion - G1 Trip-Up with BW Manta Ray’s head 34. Gunnyr - Armada Jetstorm 35. Evil One - RotF The Fallen 36. Tank - BM Tankor with MTMTE Trailbreaker’s head 37. Destroyer (the other one) - RotF Depthcharge 38. Clutch - Movie Dropkick 39. Cop-Tur - Energon Bulkhead with Universe 08 Jolt’s head 40. Vain Train - G1 Yukikaze 41. Crane Brain - CW Hook 42. Screw Head - UW Nosecone (modified so his drill becomes his head but with G1 Soundwave’s face 43. Binoc - Movie Longview 44. Odd Ball - RB High Tide with Armada Thrust’s head 45. Tux/Stretch - Animated Stretch (without the mustache) 46. Spoons - RoTF Dirt Boss with G1 Hook’s head (with an added mouthplate) 47. Gong - Movie Meantime 48. Re-Volt - G1 Doubledealer with Action Master Treadshot’s head 49. Blast - BM Blastcharge 50. Night Fright/Blades - TF 2010 Tomahawk with Armada Dune Runner’s head 51. Snoop - Armada Terradive with MTMTE Nautica’s head (without the antenna) 52. Zod - G1 Trypticon 53. Warpath - Classics Divebomb 54. Rogue Star - Prime Sky Claw 55. Spoiler - G1 Freewheeler 56. Dactyl - Armada Laserbeak 57. Loco - RoC D-Go 58. Block Head - CW Mixmaster 59. Bladez - Cybertron Unicron (slightly modified so his claws extend on the side of his hands and not over them) with BM Thrust’s head 60. Hornet - Animated Slapper (with added wings) 61. Scorp - Energon Scorponok (with a slightly modified head design) 62. Pincher - Energon Slugslinger with BW Manterror’s head (specifically based on his design from The Gathering) 63. Klaws - Energon Sharkticon with G1 Venom’s head 64. Vamp - Cybertron Megatron with G1 Chop Shop’s head 65. Bugsie - BM Scavenger with BW Retrax’s head 66. Creepy - Cybertron Scrapmetal with BW Tarantulas’ head

Additional notes:

Anyone who had already been given a design in Spatiotemporal Challengers kept it.

With Courageous, Grungy, and Nemesis…due to the fact that they’re really just combining battle suits rather than the characters themselves actually combining, it wouldn’t have really carried over properly to represent them as recolored Transformers Combiners. But instead, since they all have vehicles modes as well, we found some TF molds that fit the bill decently enough. And since the Sky Sweeper is made up of Combiner kibble, the design still hints at the notion of combining. And using the Bumblebee Battle Suit for Nemesis carried the whole…well, battle suit theme. So I think those worked out pretty well.

While it it’s PRETTY difficult to tell in the poster, Scales in actually in Thrust’s “3-wheeled robot mode”…since that would be more fitting for Scales than having legs. In a similar vein, Rumble and Blast are in Blastcharge’s “wheels-for-legs” robot mode.

Tic Toc and Gong display a little Easter egg. Tic Toc diplays 10:29 1984, which (after Jim and I did some digging to make sure it was actually accurate despite other reported information) is the original air date of the first episode of the Challenge of the GoBots cartoon. Also his pose is lifted from the 12th Doctor’s iconic stock pose. Gong’s display date of 10:27 1986 is (according to Vector Prime) the air date of “season 2” of Challenge of the GoBots, as recounted by Cy-Kill himself in Renegade Rhetoric. To parallel Tic Toc’s pose, I wanted to give Gong an iconic pose of The Master…but there doesn’t really seem to be one. But I did kind of use this as reference:

http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/themasterthumbsup_8908.jpg

Oh, also I’m an idiot and just noticed a couple days ago that I didn’t color Geeper-Creeper’s right arm all the way. I’ll fix that eventually.

But I guess that’s about everything I can think of currently that worth mentioning about this project. It was quite a momentous undertaking, but it was a blast to do, and I’m super grateful to Jim, Andrew, and Fun Pub for giving me the opportunity to do it!

- IKY

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