#apparently cover her healthcare

[explanationpoint]

I agree with like 95% of this but I would give it 4 stars

x

[existentialfailure]

This new old body

Pairing: N/A (Possible Reader x Hawks in future)

Length: Oneshot, 2384

Description: The aftermath of war, Keigo is OK with it all. He is OK with how things have gone. He is OK with how things have changed. He knows if he keeps telling himself it's OK, then maybe it'll be OK.

He just needs to learn to keep walking.

Warnings: Past violence, blood and injury, injury recovery, permanent injury, quirkless hawks.

Notes: Post-war, may continue later

He doesn’t recall too much of the aftermath of his part of the war. The first few glimpses of the world are cloudy, unfocused; like watching an old movie through sandy goggles. 

He felt like a doll, stuffed full of cotton and weighed down with a belly full of rice; fat, heavy, and easily tipped over. There was only one thing that consistently felt out of place, one thought that kept nagging incessantly every time he found himself stumbling forward into a consciousness that was always too bright-

“Can… someone roll… off… back? Wings… ’ll cramp.”

Nobody would answer, or if they did, they were too busy talking slowly and with their mouths full of marbles. It was irrelevant anyway, Keigo was too tired to pay attention, and the heaviness of his eyes pulled him right back into the veil of quiet dreamless sleep.

He learned later that he was too banged up for any quirks to be used as an immediate fix all. Funnily enough to add insult to injury, nobody was really quite sure what exactly to do with Pro Hero Hawks- or rather, Former Pro Hero Hawks. As the triage team had moved in the aftermath of AFO’s grisly departure, he was tagged swiftly as an immediate evacuee- a civilian evacuee. ‘A high ranking civilian,’ he was told, as if to placate his offense. It did, and it didn’t, but he was too exhausted and fucked up on narcotics to care and muddle through his feelings. Besides, he was a reasonable man, and he knew they couldn’t send him to where the wounded Pros were going. He was a waste of resources; they were trying to get all possible weapons back on their feet to deploy right the fuck back out to fight. What could he do by that point? 

He’d have been a cute cheerleader if they gave him a shot, he thinks. Rah, rah, go team go.

The initial shock of waking up quirkless was easy to handle, in the way that he didn’t handle it. He was still blitzed out of his mind on what he was humorously calling ‘The Good Shit’, and it was easy to float in and out of the reality he was currently occupying. He had never been hospitalized to this degree - even when Dabi had tried to flame broil him- and it was apparent that the damage the villains caused had put a definitive strain on the healthcare system. The hospitals were stuck relying on hands-on techniques as quirk usage was being stretched thin and reserved for the critical patients who could survive their application, or couldn’t survive without it.

Keigo certainly wasn’t critical. The nurses and therapists visited him every so often each and every day, wrangling the flailing former hero out of his bed, disentangling him from all his lines and wires like a freshly caught fish. He was encouraged to walk to use the restroom, he was encouraged to walk to sit in a chair, he was encouraged to sit up and eat and talk and laugh and engage.

Walk, walk, walk.

Keigo certainly wasn’t critical. He doesn’t know who the hell his doctor is, the staff was stretched thin, and he really didn’t care, but he liked the practitioner who came in and congratulated him on his progress as time went on. The sound of her voice was nice, but he remembers fuck all she said, just that her voice warbled when she went over all the shit they did to him throughout the day.

Staff continued with their routine. Get up, walk, sit, stand up, move, sit, stand up, walk.

Walk, walk, walk.

Keigo certainly wasn’t critical. He was one of the lucky ones. He got out of the hospital with his face stitched from AFO trying to split his skull open like an egg, his body covered in miscellaneous bruises that looked like constellations if he stared hard and squinted. Furthermore, he felt like one giant exposed nerve, the surrounding air causing his skin to feel like it was electrified and ready to crawl off and leave him hanging there naked and wet. He probably would’ve felt better if it did.

But he was alive, which some others couldn’t say the same. He was supposed to be grateful, he knows. He is, he thinks, somewhere in the hollow of his chest. Nestled between the black of broken ribs, in the sick sinking in his gut, he is ok with the fact he is alive. He is ok with it, and he will repeat it until it's true, because it is, it has to be, or else… 

Keigo walks.

Keigo walks because he isn’t critical. Keigo walks because he is one of the lucky ones. Keigo walks because he is alive. He walks because he is ok with it.

Keigo walks because there is a thrumming emptiness in the hollow of his beating heart where something is supposed to be and there isn’t anymore. He walks because there is no longer a heaviness at his back pulling him up. He walks because there is no longer a heat in his spine, a pressure in his skull, a vibration in his mind, a purpose, a warmth-

He is caught off guard as flashing flames of blue take his vision from him, hands flying up to drive the heels of his palms rough, and harsh into his eyes. The phantom heat licks his cheeks, snapping at his nose like razor sharp teeth. He can feel it just as he had that day when he stood over Bubaigawara, fierce and unforgiving. Keigo bends, hands falling to brace himself at his knees as he is overwhelmed with the need to just breathe.

Eyes wild, and his brain lagging to catch up to the fact that there is no fire and there certainly is no cremation villain anymore, Keigo finally takes a look at where his feet have taken him. For the last several years, since earning his so-called freedom with the HPSC, he spent so much of his time seeing the city from a birds eye view. Now, he found himself feeling out of place; small and insignificant under the looming branches of blossoming trees and their bowing trunks. He doesn’t recall this particular park, or maybe he does, and his mind is just too fluffy with wool to piece together a name. Maybe he just doesn’t particularly care at the moment where he is.

The park is empty from what he can tell. Despite the haze of dusk beginning to fall, he can clearly see the rubble of what was left of benches and stone carved animals. They must’ve stood proud surrounded by well-placed flowers, if the squashed pedals and shattered colorful stones are anything to go by. Keigo takes his time meandering around the remnants of what had probably been one of the smaller parks in the city. A quiet spot for your average office worker to find respite during lunch hour, or a group of kids to sit and study.

Keigo rounds a few trees, bark scorched and bare wood carved- whether by knives or claws, he doesn’t care to investigate. He pointedly ignores the skulking shadows that follow in his peripherals, diving between bush, tree, and rock as they watch. Those piercing but empty bright yellow eyes that feel like weights on his shoulders. Bodies blackened, smokey, curled and twisted; broken in ways that made no sense but powerful in every move. Phantom muscles at his back twitch with need. He can see their talons now, glinting ebony and sharp, curling over every bit of debris ready to pierce, cut, shred, eviscerate-

“Hey, are you alright?”

For the second time today, Keigo is pulled back into reality feeling as though his chest has caved in on itself. Each rib has shattered itself free, and pierced through his lungs like daggers to fill them up with blood and drown him. His head jerks to the side, noticing now the benign shadows of the trees as they sway with the breeze that filters down to them. Yellow eyes have winked out of existence, there are no talons digging fresh lines into the damaged earth of the park, no great black beast looming around a tree ready to take on the wingless wonder.

Keigo takes his first deep breath and feels like he is going to vomit.

“Hey?” The voice cuts in again, and Keigo turns to give his frazzled attention to his current witness.

You’re not a Pro, is his first thought as his eyes sweep over you. You’re dressed rather plainly, if not smartly for what it looks like you’re doing. Keigo’s eyes flash down to the bucket in your hand, filled with an assortment of flora that you must’ve been pulling from around the shattered statue he notices just behind you. Keigo turns his mind onto investigating you, chest still heaving as he tries to get his body to remember it's supposed to breathe.

He notices you’re wearing an apron, bits of trash sticking out of pockets that you may have haphazardly stowed away as you worked. Your forearms are dusty, if not altogether filthy, and your pants are slick with dark earth.

“What’re you doing?” Keigo fires back, breathless, but jerking his head towards you almost accusingly.

Your eyebrows raise immediately, probably not expecting the minor hostility in his tone. You were a local in the area, trying to do your part in cleaning up the neighborhood after the antics of the war. This particular park had been special to you, and you had joined the neighborhood established cleanup crew trying to salvage as much of the original foliage as you could before the others came in to finish tearing down what the villains had already started. And maybe also swipe a couple of root balls of some of the flowers you’d been eyeballing since you were a kid.

You had just been coming up on one of the flower patches that used to surround the ugliest cement statue of a duck when you had noticed the blonde down near what had formerly been a fountain. Initially you were just going to ignore him, but his thousand yard stare, pale face, and accentuating ‘i’ve-had-the-shit-kicked-out-of-me’ look had drawn you over to investigate.

“Cleaning,” You answered breezily, “and are you OK?”

Keigo tilts his head slightly, bringing a hand up to rub uneasily at his chest. Of course, he is ok. He has to be ok. He is ok.

“Of course.” He answers smoothly, pulling a smile that's all teeth. It doesn’t quite reach his eyes, and you raise a brow at it. The act causes his stitches to scrunch up at his cheek. You imagine he thinks he is charming, but the look falls flat. Keigo’s smile falters a little, and he sighs.

“Really, thanks. I’m alright. Just got a little winded from walking,” He winks, dropping his hand from his chest to stuff both into his pant pocket. He walks around you, swaying a little. You watch him, eyebrow still raised.

“You looked a little more than winded.” You mutter, slightly concerned. You’ve learned over the course of the last few weeks that a lot of people were dealing with the aftermath of the villain's act of war in different ways. While a small minority of people had managed to skate by unaffected, a large portion of the population ended up scarred in some way. Some people lost loved ones, family members, friends. Others who never got to make it into a shelter were left to defend themselves or hide from the roaming villains. Some managed to avoid encountering a villain altogether, while others… Well, they’re left with the scars of their encounter. Some physical, some mental. Some both.

You’re not sure where this guy fell on that spectrum. Studying him, you could tell he didn’t have an easy way of things during the war, if the sheer amount of visible bruising and freshly knitted gashes were anything to go by. His hair looked like it was shorn by someone inexperienced with clippers, uneven and lopsided in spots, what must’ve been bangs clipped impossibly short and laid back.

You watch him as he moves to stand in front of the desecrated cement statue of the duck, his head tilted and lips twisted as though he were lost in thought. His nostrils were flared, and if you didn’t know any better, you’d guess he was trying to hide the fact that he was still struggling to maintain his erratic breathing. You look between him and the remains of the park decor, before finally catching him watching you back.

For a moment you feel glued to the spot. His eyes look sharp and predatory, like there is something that should be there that isn’t. The gold feels molten as it's trained on you, and the deep black discoloration that tips his waterline makes them seem simply feral. He blinks, and the moment is cut, his eyes honey warm and mirthful. You aren’t sure what you feel.

“So, got a name?”

You give him your name, and he nods as he repeats it, as if committing it to memory. He lifts a hand from his pocket again, rubbing mindlessly at his chest. You sidle up beside him, staring down at the defeated duck. He returns his attention to it as well, though he tilts his head slightly acknowledging you beside him. Gently, you pry,

“And you?”

He doesn’t answer for a moment, breathing shallow and calm. His chest still feels tight, and the phantom pain of something webs out from between his shoulder blades. He thinks he wants to cry, but his eyes feel dry and his mouth stays curled in a not-smile grin. His eyes rove over the ruined cement statue, how it had once clearly been a duck with wings spread, neck curled and feet outstretched. Left in a stasis of both flight and landing, neither airborne nor grounded, something in between. Now it was nothing but a crumbled up bit of dust and rock, shattered and broken, and probably not worth the effort to repair. Replaceable with something better, surely. It's just a silly statue, after all, a background piece. Decor.

“You can call me Kei.”

[dearestro]

Oh Baby! Part 3

Warnings: Sick baby, brief mentions of bodily fluids, Innuendos , and crude language. Sorry if I missed anything!

Disclaimer: I know nothing about healthcare, diseases, etc. I read a case file on the internet about the disease I wrote about. Almost everything I wrote (symptom and disease wise) I got from the internet, so I apologize if I messed up.

Summary: As time marches on desperation sinks in.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4 Coming Soon...

Your Pov

Before I knew it, we were on our way to Princeton-Plainsboro. Everything felt numb. Lights flashed when I closed my eyes, and the screams and cries of our baby filled my ears.

I didn't realize that we arrived until James had come to my side of the car and opened the door.

"Sweetheart…we're here." He gently prodded my shoulder. I finally looked at him. His shirt was still covered in Rosie’s blood. I only stared. "Y/n…come on. They're waiting for us in the ER." I shook my head, breaking out of the trance.

"Right…" I quickly unbuckled and got out of the car. James wrapped his arm around my waist to keep me stable as we made our way inside.

Once inside, James sat me down and went to the front desk to find the whereabouts of our baby.

We were moved to a private consultation room. We had yet to see Rosie or find out any information, but the doctor's face didn't relay much hope.

"Dr. and Mrs. Wilson…unfortunately your daughter is not doing very well. She was immediately moved to NICU." My hand flew to my mouth to stifle a sob as James wrapped his arm around me and held my head to his chest.

"So-so who's the attending doctor? What's the course of action?" James grilled the man, intent on getting as much information as possible.

“I, along with Dr. Oro, will be taking care of her. Right now, we will monitor and observe her so that we can find the right diagnosis and treatment. It’s been a long day, and there’s nothing you can do for her right now. I recommend the two of you go home and try to get some sleep. We’ll keep you updated, Dr. Wilson.” He left to go attend to business and leave us to think. We stayed silent as we took in his words. James shook his head and rubbed his hand down his face before sighing.

“I’ll-I’ll drop you off at the house…pack a bag, stay the night in my office for any updates.” He stood up and stuck out his hand to help me up. I looked up at him to see tears in his eyes. He looked like a mess. I could only imagine how bad I looked. I took his hand and we started walking to the car. I wanted to see our Rosie, but with the state she’s apparently in, it might just kill me, so I continued silently.

Once we got home, I sat on the couch and just stared…there was still blood on the carpet, and the forgotten items from earlier were thrown about. James had gone to get a shower, change, and pack. When he came back, he noticed my trance-like state.

“Why don’t you head to bed.” He whispered as he caressed my hair. “I’ll clean up out here.” I just barely nodded before he helped me get up and walk to our room. “I’ll call you in the morning.” He said as he kissed my hairline. “I love you.” I looked up at him sadly, still not able to say a word, but he seemed to understand and kissed me one more time before leaving.

Wilson’s Pov

I woke up to a loud banging on my office door. It took a second for the events of last night to flood my memory. I sighed and looked at my watch. It was ten in the morning, and I had overslept. I sighed and rubbed my face before getting up to find House on the other side of the door.

"About time." He shoved his way into my office. "You look like shit by the way."

"Gee, thanks. Look, House, I'm really not in the right state to deal with you. Please just leave."

"What? Trouble in paradise? Rugrat keep you up all night crying? And by that, I mean the baby made you cry all night."

"Please, House." I pleaded.

"Oh! I know! Wifey number 4 finally had enough and kicked you to the curb? Couldn't stand having two pathetic creatures wanting to suckle her breasts 24/7?" He would have continued, but I had finally had enough.

"House!" He turned and seemed to fully take in my disheveled appearance. A confused look crossed his face.

"What?"

"It's-it's…" I tried to get it out. To say it. I could feel tears well in my eyes as I took a deep breath to regain my cracking composure. "It's Rosie… she's sick." I could hear my voice crack at the words. I looked up, finally meeting House's eyes. He only stared. I scoffed. "What? You're not going to say anything?" I asked in disbelief at his silence. "I didn’t expect much sympathy from you of all people, but the least you could do is act like you feel bad!" I sighed again before looking back at my packed bag. "I have to pick up y/n so we can figure out what's wrong with our daughter. Lock up or don't. I don't care anymore." And with that, I left to get my wife.

Your Pov

It took forever but eventually exhaustion took over and I was out like a light. I woke up to James prodding my shoulder gently and whispering my name.

"Honey, honey, I know you're tired, but you have to get up. We've got to eat and get dressed so we can see Rosie." I groaned at the noise and sudden light. "I know. Come on." He gently helped me to sit up as I wiped the sleep from my eyes. "That's my girl." He kissed my temple as he rubbed my back.

"What time is it?" I asked while yawning.

"Almost eleven." My eyes shot open, and I scrambled to get out of bed. "Hey! Hey. It's ok. It's ok."

"I'm sorry. I should've been up by now!" I whined on the verge of tears. "I'm a bad mother! How could I sleep when our baby is sick?" I scolded myself.

"Shh. You're not a bad mother. You're exhausted. Besides, staying up worrying all night would only make things worse." I nodded at his words as I started to calm down. "That's it, babe. Come on, let's have breakfast and get showered. It'll make you feel better." He continued to rub my back as we made our way to the kitchen.

Once there, he sat me down at the island and proceeded to put together a simple breakfast. I sat quietly as we ate together while he rubbed my thigh. I just couldn't bring myself to talk much. Eventually, we got showered and dressed and headed to the hospital. We waited for any news.

This was our routine for the rest of the week. Eat, sleep, cry, wait. James took off work, and together, we tried to get through it, but unfortunately, with every passing day, there was no answer.

Today was another day spent waiting for the doctor and any news.

"Unfortunately, your daughter has taken a turn for the worse." I comprehended the doctor's words, but I couldn't relay any emotion. "We still do not know what is wrong with her." I stared at my hands. Picking at the remains of my cuticles as if it would distract from the real pain. "We aren't giving up. However, I'm afraid there's not much we can do…" After offering his sympathies, he left us to cope with the news.

I hadn't realized I was crying until a tear dropped onto my hands. First one, then two, then a rainfall. It was endless. I continued to pick at the raw skin until James grabbed my hands.

"Hey. Stop that." He said gently as he grasped my fingers and brought them to his lips. I finally looked up at him and saw the tears running down his cheeks. And just like that, something inside me broke.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!" I sobbed as he pulled me into his chest and stroked my hair. "I couldn't even give you a healthy baby!"

"This isn't your fault." He whispered. I knew he was right, but if it wasn't my fault, whose was it? "None of this is your fault." I could hear the quiver in his voice as he tried to keep it together.

"We need House." He pulled back to look me in the eye as confusion crossed his face. "I know you're mad at him, but we need him. He's the only chance our baby has. Please ask him, Jamie." I continued to cry as he nodded and kissed my temple.

"Of course."

Wilson's Pov

After dropping y/n off at home and helping her to calm down, I made my way back to the hospital with one thing on my mind. House. I finally reached his office to find him ddxing with his team. Normally, I wouldn't interrupt, but in dire circumstances…

"House." Everyone turned to stare at me as I was well aware of how awful I must have looked. "I need to talk to you."

"Well, we're kind of in the middle of something so…"

"Now." He shrugged before tossing the marker to Thirteen.

"She's in charge until I get back." And he hobbled out of the room to his office. "What is it that's so important?" He deadpanned. I sighed before turning to him.

"The doctors. They don't know what's wrong with Rosie. She keeps getting worse, and they've basically given up on her." My voice trembled as I spoke.

"Which doctors?"

"Dr. Miller and Dr. Oro." He scoffed.

"Well, no wonder you're getting nowhere. They're idiots. Have her case sent to me. I'll figure it out." I exhaled, not realizing that I had been holding my breath on whether he would help or not.

"Thank you House. I-I can’t thank you enough."

"I haven't saved the rugrat yet. Go home, comfort your wife." He waved dismissively as he started back to the other room.

[begitalarcos]

Hey Guys

Wow it's been quite some time. In regards to my last life post (that I don't remember making) but did happen and was very difficult to deal with all the fall out for like... more than a month after.

I'm sorry I left you all with that and then just disappeared again. Things have been weird the last couple months... to put it in simple words... shit sucks

The falling out with my daughter caused a huge rift between several people who (were not involved but still had a very loud opinion about things) and quite a few uncomfortable conversations.

I unfortunately started drinking as a way to deal with not dealing with things (I'm good now but I had about 3 weeks of just being smashed on the regular) and during that time I suffered an awful fall which resulted in me slipping a disc in my back. Possibly 2 of them but I've had such a hard time dealing with doctors lately that no one in the medical field has been particularly helpful. So I've been living off a cocktail of painkillers for almost 2 months now (which I hate), I was going to physio but then my insurance decided not to cover my sessions until I could PROVE I was actually hurt.

Tomorrow I go for an assessment with a new doctor to try and get my insurance to cover treatment again, my MRI isn't even until August of next f*cking year. -_-

Our healthcare system is an absolute joke right now.

On top of being in CONSTANT pain (not being able to sit or lie down for very long either cuz I lose feeling in my legs) my daughters disability/mental health program has decided to just... not help anymore until she gets a new assessment. Even though its been almost 3 years and she's still on a waiting list for an adult psychiatrist.

So the last week or so now everyone is coming back to me to try and fix/smooth things out again (after I was basically pushed out of her life because I was "making shit up" and "didn't actually care" and apparently was just being a control freak) and no one has apologized for the way they treated me or forced me out of helping my own kid. Nope. They just expect that now that she has no financial coverage that I should be the one to speak for her again cause they have no idea what to do. -_-

My husband has been solid thankfully, even though his relationship with Sassy has suffered so much because of the people around her who have influenced her... not always for the better. But I at least have maintained a sense of control in a way that's worked for me.

I told everyone who has given me grief for the past couple years about Sassy (including Sassy) that if I am going to advocate for her and get this stuff sorted out that I'm doing it my way, and if I get any push back or flack from anyone - then I'm done. They can figure it out themselves and I wash my hands of it all.

My husband thinks I shouldn't have gotten involved again at all, but I know (and I knew things were gonna blow up eventually) if I don't fix this... its gonna become my problem again anyways.

This past month or so I've had some really good breakthroughs with my therapist about my toxic coping skills, people pleasing and lack of boundaries with family members.

I feel better about things though than I ever have and now that I am standing firm with my boundaries and my convictions its been much easier for me to deal with any gaslighting or potential drama that people have tried to start up with me.

I know this got super long winded and I didn't intend for it to be as rambling and trauma dumpy as it was but - it is good to get things out and clear the air. As I feel like I sort of left an air of weirdness here for quite sometime.

Working on getting back to the things that I enjoy and stop becoming immersed in other peoples drama and things that I can't change.

I've missed you guys and crikey has Tumblr changed since I've been away. But I'm hopeful and I look forward to getting back into fandoms and gif sets and all those things I loved so much again <3

much love to you all

B

[bogkeep]

for Months i have been stressing over stupid Bureaucracy Regret -

when i started school in sweden i figured i need to notify the system that i'm living there, so i did, and i acquired a swedish ID and all that jazz.

for two years this has seemed mostly superfluous - i think maybe it's been useful to get a proof of student ID because they don't give you those at school and you need to download an app that fills your inbox with advertisements and i hate it so bad - but this year i ran into trouble when i found out that Living Outside Of Norway is a bit problematic for Ongoing Medical Assessment In Norway (that i started over a year before moving to sweden). like it's fine as long as i DON'T get a job in sweden and DO get my student loans from norway, but they can't cover my travel cost to the hospital and getting my T gel prescription was a pain (and i can only get it in norwegian pharmacies unless i get a swedish doctor to sign off on a prescription in sweden), and i can't access most of the services in the healthcare portal or contact my GP without calling her clinic. so all of this is confusing and frustrating, right, and nobody at the gender clinic had any clue about any of this (despite telling me they have had patient studying abroad before) so they were gonna have a social worker who's supposed to have a clue call me to figure out a solution. turns out they had only a little more clue but not as many answers as i'd hoped, and together we came to the conclusion that i'll just change my legal address back to norway and things will be smooth sailing again. apparently most students going temporarily abroad just change their c/o address and not their legal permanent address and i did not know this! none of my fellow norwegian students seem to have done the same process as i so i'm just ignorant i guess!!!

AS IT TURNS OUT you can't just "move back to norway" that easily, WHICH MAKES SENSE I GUESS, so i decide to call the folk register directly to find out how and why and when, and even if i do have a home in norway i can't actually "move back" until i can prove i have reason to stay there for the next six months, which i'm not, because i'm studying in sweden. the service worker on the phone was very apologetic and told me i should've called before i registered moving so that i could've Known the Consequences, but i couldn't have known i needed to do that, AND it's a pain to call them through limited phone times and long queues. so basically i've been going through the five stages of grief and decided i'll just have to eat the travel costs (which has an extra element of frustration because i could've made it all just a little bit cheaper for myself if i had waited a couple more days at the time and coordinated better but DONE IS DONE, I'm already lucky somw acquaintances let me crash at their place and i didn't have to book a hotel) and deal with the frustrations as best i can before i move back to norway next year anyway. like it sucks but i will deal and i can't change the past and i did my best ET CETERA.

and then last week the office lady at school sent us an email that the powers that be now require all students to have a swedish id so if we don't have that already we need to get on that. so uh

after all that frustration and regret. i was gonna have to do all that anyway. now i'm watching my fellow norwegian students struggling with the paperwork runs while i don't have to do a single thing

nice ok

[gwydionmisha]

Personal: For Profit Healthcare and Me

So remember how Peacehealth drove all the independent offices in four specialties out of business, thus forcing everyone to use their clinic, then closed those clinics to force everyone to go to their central clinic two counties to the south? And remember how both the Doctors who were running that clinic made a deal to operate out of a clinic a regional medical conglomerate was opening near the hospital? so instead of me spending all day on a sixty mile each way trek for my treatment I was using the last three months of skeleton crew treatment at old clinic which ended the last Thursday in September? Remember how they said we could all follow our doctors there?

Yeah, about that.

I've been dutifully calling ever two weeks to see if they were letting people schedule appointments yet. They sent out a letter saying they were open. I stayed up Tuesday to get in sorted. it was a whole drama because the automated maze to get to the scheduler was as much of a hassle as Peacehealth's and prone to dropping calls, forcing one to start from scratch each time. so that was frustrating and tine consuming.

Apparently they have no access to our health records, so it was a start from scratch situation. Me, mentally: Shit! This is going to be HOURS. Only it wasn't for all the wrong reasons. They take Medicare, but not Medicare Advantage. So if I want it covered I have to lose most of my benefits including having Medicaid pay my big Medicare copay. O.o. Or I can pay for expensive treatments myself as uninsured.

I was upset, but I remembered superstar medical social worker lady personally calling around town to talk dentists into taking medicare dental coverage for me thus opening up my small city so that medicare patients can now get root canals and crowns instead of learning to live without chewing.

So I still thought it was salvageable. Problem is she's gone and the woman replacing her is a busy supervisor who likes to call me two hours into my sleep cycle without warning and then gets angry at me for not being charming. Previous lady asked when was best to call and would schedule calls in advance for a time when I was able to be awake and functional. it is a lot easier for me to be charming when I wasn't just ripped out of REM sleep and am now being interrogated about something.

New lady is a supervisor and super busy with supervisor things and is made of no and is snippy. I can not make her understand that not only is a 120 mile round trip over mountain passes dealing with the traffic mess along the highway in the major metropolitan area where I once got caught in a four hour traffic jam and couldn't get off to pee, is an entire exhausting day for me and that plus a treatment would not only mean i could do anything useful that day, but the next day to. She can't grasp how much pain is involved in long car trips or how much treatments take out of me. She keeps hard selling me on this and then calling me resistant and recalcitrant like I'm the one being unreasonable for considering this basically insurmountable at my level of disability.

She did not fight the in town clinic for me. She did not try to argue them around.

Her, repeating a suggestion she has made over and over since the closing announcement: You should just get your GP to do it.

Me, explaining for at least the third time because we have this conversation every time we talk: I asked my GP last spring like you asked. They can't do it. It can't be administered by a GP. They'd need to hire a specialist and build new facilities for compounding and for special storage of medication.

Her: Well just ask you GP to give you a different treatment.

Me: There are no other treatments. I have medications to manage symptoms. These treatments are the cure. There is only one cure.

Her: You are being recalcitrant!

Me: There is literally only one cure. No new ones have been invented since last February. The cure is working. I'm getting better. i will get worse again with only symptom management.

But she kept arguing with me because I was being stubborn about facts being facts. My GP can't pull an entire brand new treatment regimen out of her ass. She would not let it go or let me go and I was exhausted because it was hours past when I would normally be asleep at this point and also what was the point of her hard selling me on demanding the imaginary alternative treatment or the 120 mile trip. I ended up giving and and saying something like, "I have to go now," which I know is rude, but we spent this entire conversation with her neither listing not understanding and basically acting like I was the asshole here.

So I'm fucked and I'm frustrated and angry. I was literally at the point where I was going to get better really quickly if I kept doing treatments, but if we stop now I'll be back to square one with it all to do again if another clinic opens.

And it's all like this because Obama and Biden didn't have the balls to stick to their universal free healthy care guns and decided to adopt the capitalist give away Republican health plan in pursuit of bipartisan buy in they did not get, which anyone paying attention told them they could not get, which Mitch McConnell vowed they'd never get as part of the project to make Obama a one term president at all costs. They burned all their political capital on a bullshit give away to insurance companies when they could have taken the same or less of a hit just giving up a developed country level health care system. No fucked up website needed for sign ups. No red tape or copays or catch 22 shit like I'm dealing with now.

[webtoon-related-tournaments]

FINALS!

Leland is the father of the three male leads

he pit his sons against each other competing for his affection, neglected his wife and youngest son, gaslit and manipulated his eldest sons into repeating the cycle of abuse with their own fiancées and is now trying to publicly humiliate his best friend because he wasn't there in his time of need twenty-five years ago or something

BUCKLE UP THIS MAN IS AWFUL basically he has secretly been in love with his best friend Jack for years now but Jack fell in love with a woman called Leelathae and Leland has never gotten over that. He has also never forgiven Jack for not being there for him at his parents funeral (i don’t remember why Jack wasn’t there but it was probably something to do with Leelathae). He decides to marry a girl called Isolde to make Jack jealous (which doesn’t work because Jack does not return his feelings) who he later becomes abusive towards and keeps in the dark on all future evil plots by placating her with expensive desserts. The evil plot in question is to have his three sons marry Jacks three daughters. When the plan eventually falls apart he literally TORTURES his children. Like he hangs Blaine and Lance upside down in a dungeon over a LAVA PIT and makes them do CHIN-UPS and throws Frederick into a massive PIT and just LEAVES HIM THERE. He eventually frees Blaine and Lance but only so that he can take them to the Pastel Palace which he is planning to INVADE so he can FORCE the princesses to marry his sons AGAINST THEIR WILL.

Yui is the mother of Kousuke and the stepmother of Nol/Yeong-Gi.

well let's see... 1) drugs her own son and refuses him doctor-prescribed healthcare 2) neglects and abuses her stepson 3) threatens to kill her own husband when he's no longer useful to her 4) tried to blackmail the main character and to have her sent away from town for no reason other than liking to play mind games 5) covers for a sex offender and helps him trap more victims 6) threatened her nephew to have him fired and disbarred (well the equivalent for doctors) if he looked too deep into her son's health history and I'm pretty sure I could find a 7 or even an 8 if i looked closer but that will be a good start

Insanely manipulative, to the point of apparently straight up drugging her son for possibly multiple years???!! Constantly lying to her family to turn them against each other. Even with her 'precious' biological son she repeatedly ignores his boundaries and encourages his worst behaviour, apparently seeing him as little more than a puppet she can use to gain power.

[boricuacherry-blog]

I feel like people who have to add '[insert] - phobic' whenever someone disagrees with something literally has no other way to refute something so they try and make your opinion look like a hate crime. Like, no Lizzo is literally just fat and people are mentioning it. She herself mentions it every second she can. And is always crying over how fat she is... Lizzo literally has a phobia against her own fat. And same thing goes for 'transphobic.' Like can y'all ever come up with an intelligent response or do your whole lives consist of perpetual victimhood? Get a life and you'll realize not everyone's "phobic" of your fat. Like damn. It's like people want to feel like you're fatphobic so they can finally feel special in their lives.

Edit: **PSA (apparently I have to give one)**

*If this post triggers you, please talk to a therapist. I am not a licensed professional, just someone with common sense. If you or someone you know has been deeply triggered by this post, talk to your healthcare provider and see what medicine works right for you. Be aware that not all care will be covered under your insurance.*

[inkstainedhandswithrings]

so I keep learning about The Horrors™️ of American healthcare and I keep hearing Americans talk abt this shit like it’s totally fine and let me tell y’all. It’s not. Apparently and ADHD or Autism test costs like 500$ for you guys? And then when you do get diagnosed you gotta think abt shit like “okay but do I actually need meds?” Bc apparently that’s a financial decision? But it,,, it shouldn’t be right? Right okay bc

I live in Europe, specifically Austria, and this is how healthcare works here: if you have a job you have healthcare. Your employer pays for it. They have to. It’s absolutely illegal and unheard of not to. They do take about 20% out of your pay-check every month to pay for that and other legal things that I don’t quite understand (my dad explained it to me once but I’m 20 so I still don’t get it bc I don’t really have to but every cent they take out benefits me I think so it’s fine).

Now irl this is a lot more complicated but basically, you have public healthcare and private healthcare and then just stuff that’s up to the government (like ambulance rides, I think. Even if you don’t have insurance u don’t pay for that. I know this bc an American friend of mine didn’t and had to go to the hospital and called a cab and when they told me I was like “??? BRO WHY NO AMBULANCE” this is also how I found out that Americans have to pay for ambulance rides. wtf.)

Basically your insurance covers all medical expenses from doctors who are in your network (public practice). This is your GP, hospitals, and pretty much all specialised docs (dentist, internists, cardiologists, etc.). However, the public offices are much busier than the private ones (obvi) so if you’re in a rush, want special treatment, or just be a little fancy you can CHOOSE to pay for private doctors. And even then you can hand in those bills to your insurance and you get part of the money back (abt 30% which you receive abt 4 months after handing the bill in).

If you keep your bills for private care doctors you can hand them in to,,, someone somewhere somehow (idk man) and get a bigger tax return. (bc we don’t calculate our taxes ourselves. it just gets taken out of your pay-check by your employer every month and then at the end of the,,, fiscal year??? I guess?? Idk man idk how shit works — you get any money that was like,,, extra (????) back)

Now you might ask yourself: “phi, why would I pay for doc if I can go to free doc?” Which is an excellent question. Again, for most people it’s about waiting times but there is one field where it just really makes more sense: mental health services. Private practitioners have less clients and more high quality care than public ones because they choose their own funding, which, surprise surprise, is better than public funding.

I will now take you through my own personal journey so you can have a practical example of how good healthcare CAN AND SHOULD BE (keep in mind here I have parents who after messing me up and being terrible but learning their lessen once I became an adult and told them how horrible they were are very supportive of me pursing my mental health)

When I was about to turn 20 I went to my GP and had a conversation with her about how I think I might have ADHD. She asked me about my complaints and agreed there definitely are symptoms indicating it. She wrote me a referral to a Psychiatrist. When I got to my Psychiatrist she tested me and because of the referral she could tell the insurance company that this test was necessary and not elective, meaning insurance payed for it in full and I never even saw that bill.

Now I had a diagnosis all but a week later. I spoke to my parents who agreed to support me in finding private care. My Psychiatrist charges 160€ (insurance returns 48€) per appointment which my mum graciously pays for. I see him once every couple of months to check in on my use of medication and how I’m responding and to see if my dosis needs adjustment. If and when I need a refill, I only have to write him an email. Before he could put me on medication I needed a blood draw and cardiac test, to ensure that I qualified for a stimulant, since they can be harmful in some cases. He wrote me referrals and I went to my GP and a public cardiologist for those tests, which were all free of ANY charge.

I was then cleared to take my meds within a few weeks (cardiologist had a bit of a waiting list). I was prescribed Ritalin and some sleeping pills by my psychiatrist. He gives me the prescriptions and a letter to the insurance company asking them to cover the cost, as I have a diagnosis which he confirmed again in his initial assessment of me. Now that I’ve gotten approved, all I pay for is the prescription, not the actual medication. Which is about 6-7€ for the Ritalin and 4-5€ for the sleeping pills (monthly supply each).

My Therapist is also a private doctor. She charges 120€ per session and I go twice a month, which is 240€ per month. My dad contributes 100€ and my mum contributes 30€, which means I’m down to 110€ per month. Insurance pays 30€ per session (so 60€ per month) so I pay a grand total of 50€ or 25€ per session.

So my medical treatment each month costs me just about 62€ AT MOST (since I don’t always need my sleeping pills refilled).

Now, just for fun, let’s assume my parents don’t support me and I see both my therapist and my psychiatrist in the same month and need both my meds refilled. This would come to just about 304€ (because of insurance deductions).

But you have to consider that I DON’T see my psychiatrist every month, so the more realistic monthly cost would be 187€. And should I decide I can’t pay for that I can still get on a waiting list for public mental health practitioners, in which case the only thing I’d ever need to pay for are the prescription costs for my medication which would still be up to 7€ for the Ritalin and up to 5€ for the sleeping pills putting the grand total at 12€ PER MONTH.

My family and I simply chose the quicker, more efficient option, but no one twisted our arm into paying this amount of money FOR BASIC CARE.

And yes, it’s a lot of bureaucracy (it took me WAY too long to spell that) and paperwork, but I’d much rather that than have to decide between mental well-being or being broke.

So, my conclusion: Cancel America, move to Europe, OR just tell the American People In Charge Men that it is that easy and they really should try a little harder and you citizens shouldn’t settle for the shit you have to put up with right now because wtf

if you wanna cry a little it’s okay lemme know I’ll come sit with you and offer a hug but you can say no if that’s not your thing

anyways love ya

phi

[dwarf-vader-of-middle-earth]

I fucking hate the USA. So much.

My mother sent in paperwork weeks ago to the insurance company, stating that they had agreed to keep her covered while she was recovering and laid up from work.

Yesterday, our insurance company suddenly said they never received the paperwork that was faxed directly to them despite the fact that I had witnessed it being done so, and that the insurance was cancelled indefinitely.

Today, my tooth broke horribly and is super sharp and painful, it's scraping my cheek inside until I can't even talk without feeling pain, and I have a bad taste in my mouth from it. I am mid lupus flare, and my migraines are returning as a result. And the most agonizing thing of all is I have suddenly developed a fissure in my lower body and I am in such horrible agony that I cannot use the bathroom without screaming and crying.

And I can get help with none of this. All because the fucking insurance company probably threw aside the faxed documents and ignored them completely, and they're just sitting there in a pile or on a computer and will never be seen.

I am suffering. I am in severe pain in multiple places and it is actually making my life unliveable. I cannot do basic functions (use the bathroom, walk, eat). And there's not a damn thing I can do for this until the insurance company agrees to sign us back on, and there is legit no telling how long it'll be. Last time this happened, it was a full month we had to go without insurance. And apparently that's a short time.

Doctors will not and cannot see me because I am not covered by insurance, and therefore I am not permitted by their practices to be treated since having no insurance is a liability issue. If I managed to find a private practice primary care doctor, and oral surgeon, and rheumatologist, which is basically impossible on all accounts, my family would be shelling out literally hundreds of dollars for just one visit to each one where I'd have to go for even more expensive testing that would be tens of thousands of dollars, and none of it would even including the far more expensive meds that would be thousands of dollars each and I'd need at least 6 prescriptions covered. And my mom currently has to pay off the insane hospital bills and surgery bills and helicopter medivac ride bills, the last of which isn't even covered by insurance despite the fact that it was necessary for her life to be saved. So there is no money for uninsured doctor visits.

American healthcare is a Godsforsaken scam that fucking kills people. I'm not even making that up. Doctors here admit insurance companies exist to scam you out of your money. And it's illegal to not have health insurance. And having no health insurance means no care which means death. If you do have health insurance then it means you're denied care and coverage and limited on where you can go for any appointments and what steps you must take to get an appointment, the steps of which each require increasing copays just to be told you have to find another type of doctor, and pay them a copay for them to say the same thing, and it keeps going until the issue is so bad you wind up in the hospital. If you don't know what you're doing when finding doctors and filling out paperwork and signing documents for things regarding health and treatment, you're scammed out of literally hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Insurance companies are bullshit. They will profit off you, then refuse to benefit you in any way, and then take away all medical resources for stupid reasons without notice, literally leaving you to suffer and die without care.

Fuck the USA.

[journallingonpaperboats]

Day 1

3rd Month of 18th ADE Location: Town of Kasom Time: Mid-Morning Weather: Sunny

It took me a while to finally decide to come to this place. In one of the capital's soirees, a noble asked me what I do, and I said anthropology. Of course, the man feigned interest and asked topical questions about the field of study. Unfortunately, dull yet arrogant people like him make me not want to talk, so I answered vaguely, to which he replied with lifeless "ooh" and "interesting". However, he mentioned something that caught my attention: the Village of Kasom. Apparently, the said village is under their family's domain. I said I knew of the place but had never been there and wished to visit someday. He offered for me to visit the place as his family's official guest. I thought it was just for the sake of polite conversation, so I said yes. Days later, a letter arrived at my household: an official invitation and a pass document for me as an estate guest of the Adelman family. So, he really followed through with his words. I guess he is not that bad at all. But by the gods, he is a dull conversationalist.

Location: Village Clinic Time: Mid-Morning

       As soon as I arrived, I went immediately to the town's clinic as instructed by the letter. It stated that the town's healthcare professional would be my caretaker.

       The clinic is located at the heart of the town: a three-storey building that looks relatively new. Later that day, I found out it used to be the doctor's childhood residence. After his parents passed away and he completed his studies in the capital, he returned here and renovated the house into the building it is now. Although it appears well taken care of, the exterior shows signs of aging: weathered paint, cracks in the walls, moss-covered gutters, yellowed and faded posted notes on the wall, and discoloration of window panes.

       The interior was decent as well. More posters about general medicine; reminders for hygiene, healthy eating habits, benefits of physical activities, and the importance of a good sleep, and oddly a poster about a meditation session and a game of bingo. With all the posters, the meditation and bingo ones look recent. The print color is still crisp, while the rest are faded and the poster material feels rough to the touch, like dried leaves. The place smells of herbs and those foul-smelling red tablets, I think they are vitality supplements. It's overpowering--at first--but somehow, I immediately got used to it.

       I was ushered by a lady to the other side of the room after I told her I came for Doctor Fradkin. She said the Doctor is in the medicine room looking for something a patient needs.

       On the opposite side, a long waiting bench pressed to the wall, occupied by a couple of town people, most of them dressed as commoners and well past middle age. One notably wearing an apron that usually fish vendors wear. Most of them are women who seem to know each other, slightly huddled close to one another and conversing in a not-so-subtle whisper. At the end of the waiting line, second from the door, a mother holding her child, a boy maybe 8 to 10 years old. Both are dressed differently from the others. They don't look quite upper class. Upper-middle class perhaps. The child is playing with a knight figurine made from smooth and lacquered wood. Definitely not cheap but not as expensive and high quality as the dolls and figures in the capital. Last time I heard they made toys with basic joints similar to a human, that way you can move the toy's limbs. The idea of automaton is indeed not far from fruition.

       The head of the line, nearest the doctor's table, is a man with an injured arm covered in a bandage and slinged from his neck.

       Beside me, there is a young man, approximately the same age as I. His face looks ashen, with dark circles under his eyes, probably from lack of sleep. He would not stop fidgeting even when sitting. I guess that is one other thing we're similar.

       The lady that I talked to earlier, the doctor's aide, approached us, or that's what I thought; she slightly bent down and offered a warm smile to the man beside me and said, "It'll be fine Mr. Gasko." Mr. Gasko nodded hesitantly and replied with obviously a fake smile.

       He turned his head towards me, we locked eyes. I panicked for a moment--I hope it didn't show on my face--I politely smiled at him and greeted "Hello." I offered him a hand and introduced myself. We shook hands. His was cold. He introduced himself as well, Gardetto Gasko.

       Apparently, he was not surprised to see me. He said the doctor mentioned that a visitor from the capital will visit the town. I felt the eyes of those in the waiting bench pore on me. "This is the kind of town where everyone knows everyone, y'know," he said.

       I should have expected that.

       "If it's not too much, sir, may I ask why are you here? Are you enduring some ailment?" I asked. He looked away but nodded. "It's worse than illness, my good sir. It's---" he stopped mid-sentence and looked back at me. "You're from the capital, good sir---"

       I interrupted and asked him to just call me Polly (Apollyon Endora). He nodded hesitantly. Then he continued, "Do you people from the capital like you still believe in spirits, things, and forces beyond reason, the mystic?"

       His question took me by surprise and made me pause. Interesting framing; the assumption that people from the capital---modern, progressive, advanced---don't or at least not anymore subscribe to the mysticism of the world. A partly true assumption. Most people in the capital don't think any more of those kinds of things. They, or we, I'm not that arrogant to exclude myself, don't bother anymore about old traditions and that includes the aforementioned superstition. That's what the younger generations call them now. But there are still a few houses that hold to the superstitions, especially the old families whose leaders are from two generations ago (or more) that are still alive.

       For me, I would like to say yes. My parents raised me telling stories about Nephilims, dybbuks, golems, ziz, the devils, watchers, and more. It fascinated me. It doesn't feel like just stories. I felt that it was alive. As I grew older, I started reading more about them on my own. Learning more than just the kids' bedtime version. I read the gruesome yet muddled origins. The history of the tales that either branches into hundreds of pieces or just stopped. And I read more. And then I just stopped. Somewhere somehow, I just stopped.

       "A part of me still believes," I finally said. He nodded hesitantly. Slowly silence welled between us.

       Before we completely drowned, he broke the silence and confessed, "I got, I got possessed".

       Now that's interesting. I've read a handful about possessions and exorcisms, heard news of them as well and it's always happened in far-away provinces. Never heard of a first-person account.

       And I'm sure the people on the other side heard him. I bet they already know, just like he said, this is the kind of town where people know everyone. And somehow their reaction is not what I expected.

       "That's why I'm here to see--to see the doctor," he added. But before I could encourage him to talk more about it, he looked away. Leg still fidgeting. I did not push the topic further.        I decided to engage in small talk, might as well start to get to know new people. I asked Mr. Gasko if he is local, and he said yes. Though his grandparents were not, according to him they were from the East. A city he can't remember. His grandfather was a carpenter who learned the craft there and taught the skills to Mr. Gasko's father, that was also passed to him. Now he is one of the town's handymen. A mentee of a senior carpenter.

       "And probably will spend the rest of my life here," he said. I asked what he enjoys about living here. "Y'know it's more than just what's to be enjoyed, I guess, but more of familiarity and the sense of belongingness," he paused and chuckled low, shaking his head. "Sorry, Mr. Endora," I reminded him to just call me Polly, "I guess it was not the answer you were expecting. The town may be small but the air is fresh. I enjoy fishing in the river. Sometimes I go to the fields and just hang out in there."

       I asked him if that's what he does after a stressful day of work. Surprisingly, he said no. He does puzzles. He said it relaxes his mind while still stimulating it. I guess for a carpenter, it's beneficial for his building skills? He also mentioned that one time he had an excess hardwood of fine quality, he commissioned an artist to do a painting on it and had it cut to puzzle pieces to the puzzle designer next town.

       At last, the doctor came out from what I assumed the medicine room. A wide smile plastered on his face. He is a tall fellow. A couple of strands of white hair cut through his brown hair. Is it age or stress-induced white hair, or maybe just genetics? Surely he is older than me but his physique is enough to be a trainee High Guard.

       Dr. Fradkin and I exchanged pleasantries. He mentioned he already knew me before the Adelman family appointed him to be in charge of me. He read the paper I wrote about how the capital--behind every glamorous event, successful charity works, noble-peppered galas, and soirees, worker and business fund elevations--is sucking subordinate territories dry to uplift itself. That it is a classist lighthouse that only looks out for itself. That was 2 years ago when I wrote that paper and submitted it to the ombudsperson, at the same time publishing it in the papers. The piece garnered support from the commoners, derision from the nobles and politicians, and silence from the heads of the subordinate territories (I guess they want to continue to play victim). Do I regret it? No. Have I changed my opinions since then? No. But that was a naive move from me. I accomplished nothing.

       Gerry, he insisted on calling him by his first name, introduced me to his aide, Emily, and to the patients in waiting; they nodded and smiled politely. I'm sure they know or have an idea who I am the moment I walked through the clinic door.

       The doctor instructed his aide to take care of the patients. He walked me out towards where my lodging is. Out the clinic door, two steps to our left, and there it was. "It's above the general store," he beamed, "well, on the third floor, but how convenient right?"

       We entered a small door beside the general store that contains the stairs to the second and third floor. The stairs are economical or so to speak. It can contain two people side by side, so meeting another person from the opposite direction would not be a problem, but going up, with the Doctor's breadth... He's taking up space.

       On the way up, I asked him about the odd poster in the clinic; the one about bingo and the meditation class. He said it was for the elderly. A dedicated space for the old people to do bingo but more importantly mingle with other people; constant social interaction with their peers makes them happier that in turn makes them less susceptible to illnesses. "And it's fun," he said.

       The meditation class, though not exclusive for the elders, is still mostly attended by them. It consists mostly of breathing exercises and a few stretching routines.

       Both the bingo and the meditation class happen on the floor above the clinic.

       My lodging is quite nice. Spacious enough to have a table for dining and another one for doing some writing. There is also a small space for a sink, and a trivet for heating food or cooking, surprisingly with an airing vent above. I think this is the best, maybe one of the best, available lodgings in town and that's why this was picked for me, considering I'm an official guest of the ruling family.

       There is also a small partition for bath taking and relieving myself. I wonder how I get water up here. But considering this place is no way a rich town, at least I get to have a private latrine.

       And I think what makes the room feel cozy is its big window that faces southwest; facing the other half of town, the river that splits it, and the two small bridges that connect it.

Location: Lodging - Town of Kasom Time: Late Evening

       I spent the rest of the day unpacking my things and writing a letter to Fredo, my majordomo, stating that I arrived safely and asking if there was any worthy news circulating in the capital that is worth keeping up to. I have to check tomorrow where and how I can mail letters from here.        Obviously, this is my first day here, but I haven't seen and felt what my parents keep talking about from their days. Even the "sense of freedom" mentioned by my sister in one of her letters. If there are things that I have proven true from their stories it is that it is indeed a close-knit town. Everyone knows everyone (corroborated by Mr. Gasko), and logically shares information with one another, or unfortunately, gossip. It is further proven that the town wasn't surprised by my arrival. They merely acknowledged or verified that it was me, the guest. Well, not verbally, but the stare and the little nod they did. So far, all the people I've seen have a pleasant atmosphere in them.

       The town itself is quaint. I assume fewer troubles come up here, and if there are, those problems are less political since they are under a noble family. That reminds me, I should send a letter to the Alderman family, to show a gesture of good faith and gratitude.

       The truth is I just took this trip on a whim. Disguised as--lied to myself--an ethnographic study of this town. I have no real goal here. Anthropology? I just became an anthropologist because that's what was expected of me. The youngest kid of a family of archaeologists and anthropologists that brought invaluable artifacts and studies from bygone eras. And for what, just getting used by the capital to widen their pockets and position themselves as one of the powers of the world? Until now I don't understand why my parents tolerated what the capital did to their findings. And Fredo won't tell me a thing. Says I have to discover it on my own.

       Why am I here, really? To see the "lovely town" they always visit and talk about? To trace the steps they took for their trips? To have a glimpse of the life they lived away from me? Probably not. It's been a long time. Perhaps I miss them?

Bagel, Lox, Golem Talks by @psychhound

[demonicintegrity]

Yknow with the fact that everyone my age is like “ah fuck we’re in a recession and the housing market might crash soon” and that General Air, I’ve kinda accepted it might just be a slim chance if I ever have a retirement. Part of it is the career I’m choosing, but part of it is the Everything.

Y’see a normal full time job has you put some money in for your retirement and then they put money into it. And should you be working for them for X years (and the number keeps growing) you can get the partial/full amount of it at age Y (number also fluctuates) and it seems like a lot of my parents generation has/had this. Something they will get if they don’t have it already.

But two problems are now present with the current model of retirement: one being that the money it gives you just isn’t enough to survive anymore. There was no accounting for how the cost of living and inflation would affect how far a dollar can go. So now we see people who had to come out of retirement and work a bit to make up for the difference. And two, how to build your retirement was never really taught in schools. My mother had to tell her coworkers how to maximize their plan in the current job they all have because they just didn’t know and reading legal/economic jargon is just kinda difficult for a lot of people.

Your other option for a/an additional retirement plan is working with someone who can invest your money in a portfolio. Stocks and all that stuff. But as far as I’m concerned that’s fake money earned through wizardry, I have no fuckin clue how the hell that actually does something.

So now say you’re 20/30 something and you wanna try and have a retirement. Your options is actually be able to work full time at a job that offers retirement benefits and actually stick with it for like 20+ years or invest money you don’t have in a portfolio. It’s not new that a lot of places deliberately don’t have you on for full time so they don’t have to pay those benefits. And the only two careers I know of that promise a full retirement in only about 20 years of work is the military and being a cop.

So what do you do? I think the options generally are morbid.

Wait for your parents to die, sue someone and win, or win the lottery.

For me at least, that is the only conceivable way I’ll ever get a large amount of money at once. (And even then, watch most of it go to student loans lmao)

And it’s morbid. Thinking your best bet into have a comfortable to retirement amount of money is your parents dying. And even that is coming from a place of privilege. But I’ve heard it before! Being upset that your parents are dead and it’s stressful planning the funeral but also feeling guilty because that chunk of change feels good to have. It’s morbid and rightfully taboo as shit to acknowledge but getting a significant amount of money when someone dies might actually help you outta a bind.

The second is suing. Americans in particular have a rep for being a lil trigger happy about lawsuits. And I think it’s for two reasons. 1) it’s the only way to truly guarantee someone has to be held accountable and even then it’s a hope and 2) we’ve romanticized getting a lot of money outta it. Because we need it.

Y’know that older but still prevalent joke that “hey if I get hit by a uni bus at least they’ll pay my tuition?” Yeah no they won’t. Not anymore at least. I’ve had several adults working at my college say they won’t, they’ll only cover medical costs from the incident bc it’s happened so much. Apparently you also have much better luck suing the bus company itself than the school. But it is textbook romanticizing a shitty thing because a lot of money would be nice.

Sidenote: maybe if we had a functioning healthcare system that wasn’t driven on profit we wouldn’t have to be entirely reliant on suing someone to have impossible medical debt not kill us

And it’s also because you don’t realize just how slow and expensive the legal process is until you’re in it. And how much of a difference having money to throw at a court case makes. But that’s why settlements outside of court are so so tempting. Again, it’s also a degree of privilege.

So here’s your last option: the lottery. Which is just gambling. It’s 100% gambling and hoping it works. And a 1 or 2 dollar lottery seems relatively low loss on you for a whatever billion win. Whatever that comes out after taxes is still enough to keep you alive the rest of your life provided you don’t blow through it.

(Side thought on the lottery. If the state has like, a lot of money set aside to give to a random lucky person, why not just actually divide it and give it to the people? Or put it towards the roads/a school/whatever program??

The current mega millions jackpot for 10/24 is $114,000,000. $114 million dollars. So that’s not a lot if you split it out to the population, but I still don’t understand why not put that jackpot money into the roads instead of the amount earned with people buying lottery tickets. Idk idk it just feels like the state is dangling money over you head sometimes. Heehoo look at this money that could quite literally save your life come dance for meeee)

So it would seem the only guarantees for getting enough money to live (cuz remember the minimum wage isn’t livable anymore even with full time hours) let alone retire is some combination of privilege and luck. Lucky us.

[bakafox]

So I never heard back from my care coordinator last week and tomorrow I will not only have a new stranger coming into my home to work as caregiver, which already stresses me out to begin with, but it is going to be a caregiver who speaks very little english and my options will be using my phone and google translate or calling the supervisor who never picks up her phone when I call about other things and always goes right to voicemail to act as translator, because apparently if I refuse another caregiver trying to hold out for one I can talk to without translation services needed I will have to try and find a new caregiving service looking for clients.

I have a lot of social anxiety to begin with, and whether it's that or agoraphobia it's already hard for me to have a stranger in my house. Dreading the effort it's going to take to communicate what I need done and how I prefer it done is really ruining my day today already. Like I want to just stop existing rather than have to deal with this tomorrow. I am this close to just risking losing all caregiving allowance to refuse to deal with this, even though I could really use a caregiver! I don't like living in a rubbish bin/disaster zone! I want a clean house and I still am having severe executive dysfunction keeping me from cleaning it and keeping me from planning and prepping real meals.

I just want a caregiver I don't have to use a translation service with or do partial charades with to explain that I don't want them moving my medications, that I want them to use the dishwasher not hand wash my dishes, that I need them to put some things back right where they were if they had to move them to clean, and where I want them to put the laundry and plates and stuff. I want a caregiver I can easily tell 'oh hey that bit of cleaning you're doing is too noisy or too close to me and I'm overstimulated right now can you do the kitchen and living room stuff instead for a while'.

I hate healthcare in this country. Where it's felt I should 'just be grateful' that my medicaid covers help at all even when the guise the help comes in pushes so many of my anxiety buttons that it has me struggling extra hard with my mental illness for days before and after the 'help' arrives. Like I am literally fighting an urge to leave the fucking city and lie about having a family emergency so that I am not here when a probably perfectly nice woman shows up at my door tomorrow because the inability to easily communicate with someone IN MY HOME, the one place I usually feel I have some control over/in, that I am relying on to do shit stresses me out that much.

I am less stressed by having no help than I am by getting the help in certain ways but that doesn't mean I don't deserve the help. This feels like that post about the HLEP where the abled people think they're helping but they're not really helping and in fact may be doing harm.

[danwhobrowses]

One Piece Chapter 1068 - Initial Thoughts

Don't think I'm quite adjusted to scanlations showing up on Thursday just yet but I do have a busy Friday tomorrow so I'll take it

Back from break and time for shit to hit the fan, after all

you can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs...

Spoilers for the chapter, support the Official Release

Judge can't be that tough if he's throwing fisticuffs at Caesar to a stalemate, though I wonder if this means MADS is gonna be revealed via cover story

Following up from last chapter, Pythagoras denies CP0 access

Turns out the Kuma Seraphim is called S-Bear, sensing a pattern

Kaku seems to be a little offended by the refusal, though he could just be playing the con

Lucci with the 'does he know?' meme

The G-14 base was mentioned again, are they teasing me or like Carrot just trying to give me a slither that Tashigi and Smoker may indeed appear in Egghead

Lucci though brings up an unusual stat; ships from CP5, 7 and 8 (why 6 get left out?) have disappeared after coming to Egghead

Pythagoras however is curious of this too though, since he remembers signing them out

Lilith meanwhile takes offense, let her fight Lucci at least then she's on our side

Lucci however isn't leaving Egghead empty handed, telling everyone to abandon ship to be at the mercy of the sea beasts, apparently S-Bear's ability will get them all to the island

I mean it could be Kuma's ability itself but that's too overpowered, could be warping since we saw the Stella body testing it out, or it could be Blueno's Door-Door fruit

Meanwhile actual Kuma has peaced out too, he used his fruit for the first time since Marineford too

Back with Team Luffy and Luffy wants to know why Vegapunk wants out

So at least one reason seems to be that Vegapunk's financial well has run dry, though not many others would be rich enough to compensate him

He also intends to make a world of free energy, which already makes him more decent than Elon Musk who backed out of his UN offer

Luffy of course does not have much thoughts on the matter, thankfully Jinbe's there to be the mental sparring partner, noting how resources usually lead to war. Vegapunk, maybe naively, believes if resources are unlimited, it will remove that fuse of war

I can't say I'm an expert but having enough resources doesn't usually end wars, most of the times people want the bigger slice of cake, after all the world can easily end world hunger if they all wanted to, we could give everyone a fair and sustainable wage and we could grant healthcare to the world if we all shared our resources...but we don't, but still at least he's hopeful

Same face from Luffy though XD Oda's putting Luffy in peak comedy mode this arc

Simple Luffy brain though says 'he's doing a good thing so that's good' but also notes he doesn't wanna be a hero, usually meaning that Egghead better prepare to have a gigantic 'Luffy Our Saviour' statue ready

Vegapunk also wants out because he keeps digging into the robot's power source, which leads him to learning more about the Void Century, so he's no longer safe in the WG's clutches

He also mentioned inheriting a friend's will, guessing he means Clover

CP0 - who were ordered not to damage Egghead - then make themselves known with an explosion...

Luffy gets debriefed on CP0 by Jinbe and Vegapunk, since he wasn't present when Robin brought it up in Dressrosa

Kaku's geeking out on the island, I guess he is just that expressive

Situations have now had to be reassessed, so Pythagoras and Shaka start by evacuating citizens, they're also sending out the Jinbe (S-Shark), Boa (S-Snake), and Mihawk (S-Hawk) Seraphim, I guess Blackbeard didn't keep a hold of the latter when he absorbed it into his void

Sentomaru is also here! I mean we know he's been tied to Vegapunk since debuting but it was kinda 'and they're here too!' thing

After Luffy agrees to take Vegapunk - because he has a cool head - Vegapunk notes that they should move Bonney out of the battlefield, but then peaces out alone

Kaku fights the hologram, disappointed to learn that his dream fight with a space monster is just a projection

Bad Pussy Stussy (because she runs the pleasure district) seems to be familiar with Egghead, wonder if she's visitor or former resident, she seems to have a Vivi in Alabasta-esque habit though of saying things a little too late

Poor Kaku...I guess? I kinda feel bad because he's so vibrant but also he's 'evil government dude the sequel' so I can't be too sad about him being hit by the laser grid when he tries to get to the lab...though this trio dynamic is kinda fun

Guess the Straw Hats are fortunate that Shaka is on their side, these lasers probably would've caused them trouble too

Atlas nooo! Don't fight CP0 alone, live to do violence another day

ATLAS NOOO!

Lucci went straight to Hybrid form Rokuogan, blowing up half of Atlas' face

Atlas is still alive it seems, but barely

Luffy though has arrived with Bonney over his shoulder looking to get to the labophase too

But then he sees Lucci, who he still calls 'Pigeon Guy' XD

Round 2 Senses are tingling, and no break next week!

Time to rub our hands together, get comfortable and buckle up because it's about to go down

This was a great and fast-paced chapter as well, we got a lot of stuff going on; Luffy vs Lucci II, CP0 vs Seraphim, Atlas potentially dying, and there's still the matter of Zoro and Brook chilling by the ship and Caribou left to his own devices.

We could still very well get Tashigi, Smoker, Doll or the other SWORD people showing up, especially if they catch wind of why CP0 are in Egghead. There's also the matter of where Kuma is off to, since he has the wherewithal to use his DF to set off somewhere.

People do seem to be expecting Luffy to clear Lucci, and I'm not saying that Luffy will lose this fight if it's 1v1 either, but let's not undermine that the last time Luffy fought Lucci he couldn't move for about 3 days out of pure exhaustion, and Luffy isn't the only one who gets stronger over 2 years. The Leopard Man may have some new tricks up his sleeve as well, same for Kaku, though Stussy's knowledge of Egghead does leave me curious.

There's still a lot to cover and I hope we're gonna give the rest of the Straw Hats more to do as well, but now that CP0 know that the Straw Hats are here, Vegapunk can't turn back now.

[anything-but-predictable]

For the past few months my level of anxiety had been sky rocketing high.

Received the result of my cervical biopsy today which thank God came back negative for CA. Apparently, abnormal cell growth was detected during my cervical screening on November last year and my GP referred me to a Gyne specialist for further review and got diagnosed with CIN 3 or high Grade 0 cervical dysplasia which if left untreated can eventually lead to cancer.

Fuck me, I was overwhelmed with fear right at that moment when I was told by my Gyne specialist. God knows how much I am praying na sana even at my late 30s I could still conceive. Right there and then, on my own, I was told that I have to undergo LLETZ (large loop electrical excision) procedure where a large loop wire has to be inserted in the cervix to remove the abnormal cells and I’m not kidding when I tell you that it was bloody painful despite of 4 shots of regional anesthesia. I fainted and literally felt my heart pounding. But if I won’t be able to tolerate the procedure then I will be booked for OR table which I really don’t want as it would make me feel that it’s officially major. I remember biting my lips so hard during the whole procedure. I told the Dr that I wanna do it right away coz there’s no point on delaying if it needs to be done anyway and I just want to get over it. So it was done and the excised specimen was sent to lab for biopsy, which took painstakingly looong.

Three things na iniisip isip ko after that. First, my main concern is kung papaano ko sasabihin sa parents and sister ko if say I have cancer, I feel like I could easily process and accept it than them. It will break their hearts and that I’m not really sure if I can handle. We have lost one of our sister when I was a teenager and I don’t even want to relive what we went through after we lost her. My parent’s just don’t deserve to go through that pain and agony again in their life.

Second is, I feel bad for myself coz I am praying so hard na sana I would still be capable of conceiving in the future, honestly I don’t know when. I try to remind myself na di pwedeng just because I’m kind of desperate to have a baby is kung sino sino na lang. My children cannot choose their father but I can, not that Im saying Im perfect but hell no Im not nor nowhere near that but, I know what I deserve and as well as for my future children. I want to experience motherhood and seeing my children grow up and be a hands-on mum.

Third and last is Im grateful that Im insured, and that healthcare in the UK is free. Like literally you go in the hospital penniless but no worries at all dahil ni pence wala kang babayaran maski chemo, radiation or whatever therapies or even surgery that you have to undergo. How I wish na ganito din tayo sa Pinas. ☹️ Also, Grabe pala yung feeling pag insured ka, I didn’t realize how important it is not until I was almost get diagnose with Cancer. I mean if anything happens, the least among all the worries my family have to think about is money because I’m covered. It’s literally a security blanket considering that I am the 🥖 winner in the family.

I cant help not to overthink during that time. Ikaw ba naman kaya ang nearly diagnose to have CA. Inisip ko na ayoko magalit kay Lord because, as cliché as it sounds, I believed that everything happens for a reason, whatever it may be, hindi man natin maintindihan right at that moment, but eventually along the way, life unfolds itself. And I always tell sa lahat ng prayers ko na kahit ano pa man yun will ni Lord no matter how painful it could be, I know He knows better than I do, kaya dun ako. Let thy will be done. 🙏🏻

Quite a long read but yeah, my heart is full. ✨

[knuckles-bloody-for-me]

So just wondering basically whatever you can think would be good advice or insight or tips for someone wanting to move to Melbourne from the UK

Doesn't have to be limited to the likes below;

healthcare, prescriptions (I have a few chronic illnesses; nothing too serious, but I do need different medications etc), Visas, nominations, what sort of yearly wage/income would I need to be comfortable, taxes/insurance, bills, education (I don't have a family; but say I wanted to do a uni course, could ?); rent or buy, is a car needed, should I look into city living or suburb living, is it safe for a single female to move there & live on her own... and yeah just anything else you or anyone else can think of, l've never moved abroad before

Okay a lot of this you should check out on our government websites because I was born and raised here so I dont know how it works for people moving here.

Healthcare we have reciprocal rights with the UK. We can use the NHS and you can use Medicare, but I don't know how long that lasts for? Like do you get it for a month, 6 months, however long your visa is? Idk, but I'm sure googling it would bring up an Australian government website that could help!

We have something called the pharmaceutical benefits scheme that makes a lot of common prescriptions a lot cheaper (standard contraceptive prescriptions from the discount pharmacy can be as low as $8 for a 4 month resupply). It doesn't cover everything but as an able bodied cis person I've never needed anything NOT on the PBS. Doctors appts can be hard to get and a lot out of pocket, but again, don't know how that works for people moving from overseas sorry.

Wage and income is extremely varied. If you want to live in the most central part of Melbourne you'll need to find a job with a VERY good wage, like $90k p.a. at least. If you live further out in the suburbs then rent is lower and you can live on a lower income. National minimum wage atm is $24hr so it would depend if you work a casual job, part time, etc. This impacts how much tax you pay too. Like if you earn more you pay more tax on it etc. There's a government website that explains that too!

You'll probably have to rent to start with, and our rental prices are cooked atm and the government isn't doing anything to regulate it. Buying is also extremely difficult apparently, with supply shortages and high competition for what properties are available.

I think a woman living alone in melbourne probably has to have the same wits about her as living anywhere. Don't walk with headphones on at night, always lock your door, tell friends if you're going on a date etc. Men's violence against women is an ongoing issue here, we've had a lot of women murdered by partners this year specifically, im sure you could look it up and find a wikipedia page about it. But it's also less than a lot of other countries, and of course, gun violence here is rarer than a double rainbow. Look up Australian mass shootings and you'll see how few we have compared to That Gun Country, and actually looks about the same as the UK list I just found on Wikipedia.

A lot of your questions about tax and visas and healthcare you'll need to look at Australian government websites, these are way beyond what I can tell you about because its so different moving here from overseas as opposed to someone born and raised here. About the only other thing i could tell you is that getting a partner visa (moving here because you are someones long term partner) is about $10k Australian. I've never moved abroad either so dont know how it all works in reverse! Invoking @idsb again and anyone else who has moved to Australia and can help with some of this