#apologies if this is fucking incomprehensible

[fairymischief]

I've been thinking about how often I heard men say that "women are crazy" and that's supposedly why their relationships never worked out. My ex used to use me and betray me so often that I was in a nearly constant state of distress and anger for years, and to his male friends I will always just be the "crazy ex that he's well rid of." This is all men see: just an upset woman who must therefore be the problem. I could have explained to them in painstaking detail everything that he did to me and it wouldn't have mattered. It made me think about ALL of my friends and lovers who claimed their ex-girlfriends were "crazy," and now I wonder what kind of hell those men put them through.

ARE we crazy, or are we being kept on the verge of a mental breakdown at all times because of how we're being treated?

ARE we crazy, or is it distress at being told that our natural bodies (both functionally and aesthetically) are disgusting and need to be painted over, waxed, douched, dyed, tanned, whitened, tucked, injected, implanted, and otherwise tortured to be acceptable to the same people who claim to love us - and that the disparity between "I love you" and "I hate everything about you" is both painful and incomprehensible?

ARE we crazy, or could it be that we are exhausted from putting in 110% effort while the person who is supposed to be our partner puts in 0.1% and acts like even that is more than we have a right to expect?

ARE we crazy, or are we never able to heal from the fucking ENDLESS ways we're disrespected and degraded, none of which ever have a proper apology or even explanation beyond, "I don't know, I'm just an idiot, okay!" And after which the onus is on us to just get over it, otherwise we're gaslit into believing that WE broke up a relationship over "one little thing" - when it's actually a neverending stream of actions that convey very clearly that our man isn't a true partner, never intended to be, and couldn't care less about us?

ARE we crazy...or is trying to force a relationship to work with someone who HATES US while claiming to love us enough to drive anyone into such despair and distress that it looks like insanity to ignorant and indifferent outsiders?

[brattybytes]

Hate to be so miserable, but I don't wanna put this on main... But I also need somewhere to put my thoughts ...

My chronic pain is getting worse. Its like now, every time I do even a modest degree of walking or other physical activity... Bam. Migraine, searing pain down the bottom half of my body. From my spine to my thighs and knees.

I have several ruptures and my spine is beyond fucked. My sleep schedule is so insanely wrecked due to severe insomnia. I can't sleep at night, hardly sleep during the day. I don't want to say I hate being alive, but I sure do hate that my condition's gotten this bad.

I'm so fucking sick and so tired of keeping up this kind and happy façade for everybody. I don't like letting people know I'm in pain, that I'm this motherfucking angry, that I feel so broken all the goddamn time. But I'm about to give up and start biting peoples' heads off!! I fucking swear!! This shit isn't fair, why can't people like Trump and deSantis be stuck in this fucking condition so that they know what it's like to suffer?

I don't fucking believe that I'm even close to being any Gods' soldier. No higher power chose this suffering for me. Shit just happens. And nobody can control that.

It doesn't matter what I do. I feel it all the time. It's THERE and I can't Get It Out. It's trapped under my skin and I'm trapped in this hellhole with it.

[lazycranberrydoodles]

woe mundane monopoly headcanons be upon ye

follow for more of modern au hua cheng’s outfits

[puprlebrotato]

Ozpin is an ageless motherfluxxer: An rant essay

I have no idea how to start this but let's go-

So beyond most of the huntsmen/tress (why were'nt they just called hunters RT what the hell-) students, we have no Brothersdamn clue how old most characters in RWBY are.

Most peopole wouldn't care about that because they're sensible

If you couldn't tell, I am not most people

So one day, I decided to finally try mark out how old some characters are, using, of all people, "(Formerly Dr)unkle" Qrow Branwen

If we start at his first year at Beacon, he would (probaly) be 17, since that's the standard age most initiates are (ignoring the possblity of him being older or younger since he pulled a Blake and joined despite being a criminal so he probably didn't give a damn about the age reqiurement).

Flashforward to graduation, when he and STRQ finish their fourth year. Qrow should roughly 20 or 21 now.

From here on it's kinda iffy but, assuming Tai adn Raven have Yang right then, Qrow should, in Vol. 1, be 38.

For a refresher, out current math is 17 (First Year) + 4 (Academy Years) + 17 (Yang's life).

Now, what does this have to do wiht Ozpin looking nohting like his goddamn age?

Enter Peter. Fricking. Port.

According to the man himself, Port was a TA (teacher's assistant) during Qrow's first year. Now the math for this is even MORE iffy than the "Tai and Raven bang upon leaving beacon" math, but hear me out.

IF we work backwards, Port has his career of Huntsmaning beforeing being hired by Beacon, entering as a TA. Low balling at 4 years of experince, Port is likely 25 when Qrow is 17 (which also means Port is 8 years older than tai which makes the whole joking in his home thingy odd but also funny but whatever) [also the math of this is 4 years of exp + 4 years of beacon + 17 years leading to entering beacon]. Adding Qrow's four years and Yang's age, Port is 47 as of Vol. 1.

That's... okay. Personally he looks older to me, but this is just a 'low ball' estimate.

Now, with all of this figured out

What in the ever loving FUCK do I do with Ozpin.

This is VERY speculative, so take this with a micro-fucking-scopic amount of salt, BUT

Oz is (probably [notice I've been saying that a lot?]) headmaster when Port is a TA and Qrow's a first year. Now, one would assume Ozpin is WAY older than Port. HOWEVER, Ozpin is also said to be the youngest headmaster in Beacon's history, so who fucking knows how old his wizard of oz ass is. For clarity's sake, let's say he's Port's age. That's probably wrong, but let's just say so because why not.

If you're paying attetnion, that would mean in Vol. 1 Ozpin is 47. Fourty-fucking-seven.

Do me a favor and look up a picture of ozpin for me. Ignoring his hair, look at his face. Look at him.

there is no way in hell ozpin is forty fucking seven

I know people who are entering the prime of their life, hell I'm fsamily with people are well past the prime of life. THAT MAN IS NOT ENTERING HIS FIFTIES.

If that's fifty then Maria must be over a damn 100 I just- I dont- AGH-

[Please wait: having ragful technical dificulties]

Now, this could just be a design thing. I mean, come on. It's RWBY. It's an american anime, no one ever looks their freakin' age in anime.

Or, Ozpin and his aura and immortal magic BS have done what no skincare company in the world can do and has achieved Ryan Reynolds levels of not aging.

that is all, I needed to get this out of my head. If you're reading this as of posting, words of the immortal Samuel Jackson, "Go the Fuck to Sleep"

[shitty-proendo-blackout-posts]

These dogs be barxing

[isdalinarhot]

I am. Very drunk, absurdly drunk. Giving that as a disclaimer if worst comes to worst. Which I don’t think it will tbh. I think I’ll have an awful hangover tomorrow and that’s it. But if it is true that I die a grisly death from getting so drunk that I can’t make posts on this blog anymore I want it said that Dalinar is so hot and sexy and sad is he’s not as hot and sexy as Dalinar but he’s still really fucking high like I don’t want him left out of the conversation of like who is the hottest prince is it Adolin is it Dalinar or it might be sad if you were like I don’t know EA or fucking I don’t know I don’t fucking know like this might be incomprehensible because I’m using text to speech and I know that’s not always the best for like talking about Canon characters where the text to speech cannot figure out names but that’s OK. I don’t know I don’t really wanna die OK I want to stay alive so I can be out. Do you understand I want to reach out there’s gonna be new chapters in the new book but I don’t know if I can read them because I don’t know if I’ll be dead by then, but if I’m not dead I wanna read books Sanderson wrote in case Dalinar is in them unless Dalinar dies in book 5 then I might not even care then I might just give up on Cosmere. I don’t think I’ll give up on Cosmere OK I think I’ll keep on making Cosmere polish to the end of forever, just now I’m with the frequency I do now when Dalinar is alive and sexy and doing things with his largest boss, jock, arms and sexy face. I know that Brandon Sanderson doesn’t want me to say that Dalinar has a sexy face but he does and when he’s making his train go fast he’s limiting he’s limiting things so that our train isn’t as successful as like a saddest train or a Navani train two people were like way sexier than Dalinar objectively speaking but they’re going at it so you know they’re going at it I don’t know. I just wanna stop making this post so I can post it I don’t know.

[springcatalyst]

🖊 for any milo and/or reiji details they fascinate me ^-^

YES thank u they live in my brain

Let me go on a tangent before I even get to what this ask actually is cause why wouldn’t I- Milo and Reiji are interesting characters to compare to each other, because despite their entwined storylines, I don’t draw a lot of connections between them as they were designed.  Characters that never interact are fun to draw conclusions with because it’s more obscure out-of-universe things:  Julian and Milo are so different but they follow very similar paths and come from very similar places.  Milo and Brooke (actually they do interact but only like, once) both deal with the results of a corrupted worldview that once questioned, can’t be ignored once again.  Reiji and Diana share an inherently wary, bleak outlook on how the world functions as a result of their own experiences.  And characters that do interact but were designed that way are... designed that way.  Julian and Liliana are the same stuff poured into different molds, impossibly similar and impossibly different, and that drives everything about their relationship- they’re foils.  Diana and Julian start at the same place in the same situation, (for different reasons), and end up wildly different people in opposite directions- they are diverging paths evidenced by truth or lies. 

But Milo and Reiji aren’t connected by anything inherent or anything unchangeable.  Their meeting in the first place is mostly chance and a little bit of give and take of compassion.  They stick together because the alternative is being alone in a world that’s so much bigger than both of them, so much older, and just a little bit more broken.  Their relationship is a choice in a way that really isn’t the case for a lot of other characters. 

And I mean, they do have parallels, but they seem different somehow, because they actually apply in-universe.  They reflect off each other.  They both leave something behind that they wish they could get back: but while Reiji’s was taken from him by circumstance and chance, Milo’s was a culmination of something grown that eventually he had to choose to abandon, though if there was any other way, he would have taken it.  (He tried, before.  It didn’t work.) 

But now they’re both missing something, and with it, their place.  Reiji doesn’t know where he belongs and the truth is that he doesn’t belong anywhere.  He can’t return to the one place he did- (it wasn’t a place, but a people.  They’re long gone, even as they live) -and now he searches aimlessly for someplace he can return to.  He doesn’t find one.  Milo loses everything he’s ever known when he walks away, and even as he makes the decision to, it feels like the admission of some crime (it looks that way to them, and he knows it).  He longs for the community he lost, but even if he gets something close to it, it’s wrong, because it isn’t them, and because the reason he left still follows him. 

They’re both ghosts wandering a vast expanse of unknown.  There is exploration in it- Milo especially does genuinely love the places he passes through, the people he meets briefly, the idiosyncrasies of each town, city, village.  Reiji less so- he’s only ever known the wandering, so it isn’t as special to him.  He’s always looking for something that will change, but even so, traveling with Milo forces him to see things he wouldn’t otherwise. 

The difference between them is that Milo stops being a ghost.  As time goes on, less and less is searching and more and more is exploring.  More is fixed than is broken.  But the opposite is true for Reiji.  As he finds nothing it feels more and more like he is one of very, very few.  That he has found no place to exist because there is no place for him, for those like him.  Reiji is looking for answers in an environment that buried most of them, in a world that hunts the rest.  And it becomes this obsession- a thousand whys. 

Why didn’t his flock look for him?  Why did he even survive?  Why is he hunted?  Why did it start and why won’t it change?  Why is the world sitting on the ashes of an older one?  Why are people broken by something they don’t remember?  Why does every place he goes scream that there used to be more?  Why are his people a part of it?  Why are they here?  Why do they occupy a world that is so clearly not made for them?  Why does he not know where they are made for? 

Reiji asks a thousand whys and they can all be summarized by one what: What happened?

Milo and Reiji cross incomprehensible distances and in the time that takes, a lot changes.  Milo goes from being a ghost of who he was and who he should be to being alive in a way he wasn’t before, genuine in a way he didn’t allow.  Milo looks for an answer in a different way than Reiji, because he is looking for certainty.  He wants someone to tell him, with no room for error, what is true and what is corrupt.  He wants surety and permanence in a way that just doesn’t exist, and so instead must choose which side he’s on- he must decide what to believe, because nobody can tell him black and white.  With that choice becomes an acknowledgement that the world isn’t as simple as good and evil, and the two can very much coexist, that perfect and unredeemable don’t really exist, not here, anyway.  He’s allowed to just be.  Reiji, though, doesn’t get the opportunity to make that choice, to take that answer.  He isn’t looking for the answer to a moral question or a cosmic should.  He is looking for a reason, which is an order of magnitude more impossible to find.  He looks to the past for why and the nature of time is that he keeps getting further and further from it.  He finds very little, which only makes him look harder, which makes it worse when he finds even less.  He starts down an impossible spiral that he can’t get out of until he finds what he wants, but what he wants just doesn’t exist in the way he needs. 

[panvani]

Gil apology scene will always be one of my all time most favorite scenes of anything ever

[that-tall-queer-bassist]

Yeah all of fWhip’s original villagers came from cured zombie villagers he canonically captured in boats from the cave, but eventually he did set up a breeder for efficiency. The same thing happened with flying for him, where at first he didn’t want to use an elytra for lore purposes but he eventually gave in and did the elytra ears so he could travel quicker

been turning this around in my head so much.

current headcanon is that the zombie villagers were corrupted by the skulk and he worked with shubble to cure them and is making efforts to contain the skulk in its own area whilst creating a new empire for all of the recently cured goblins who suddenly come back to themselves and find that their home has been taken by the cave except its okay because theres a tall goblin who’s helping them get rehabilitated.

[ratrights]

tumblr is truly the realest platform, if not solely for the fact that typing a "-" followed by a ">" anywhere on the website will unfailingly result in the perfect: "->."

[leewire]

whenever i speak to people it’s just like the rosie posies nursery rhyme. people falling left and right and they’re ALL me and rats it’s tragic

[wanderingmausoleum]

hey not to judge but how the fuck did tumblr manage to fandomify I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream

[gyusimp]

I can't get over the idea of full on pussydrunk gyutaro like him being so whiney as he does it maybe that for a request:))

°•Pvssydrunk Gyutarō headcanons

⚠️WARNINGS: NSFW | MINORS DNI! | 0r4l s3x | Fingering

You had been busy lately, work and other things to do had consumed almost all of your time making your demon boyfriend get in a bad mood every time he came home and found you doing your chores of any kind.

The man grunted with reluctance every time you told him that you had to do something important and he ended up angrily returning to his sister and locking himself inside her for the rest of the night.

You apologized to Gyutaro many times but without caring that he always ended up angry. You promised him that you would make it up to him in a good way, however he wanted, and that led you two to tonight, right now. It had been a while, your thighs were burning and your waist was starting to tingle.

You had lost count of how long you had left your legs spread, letting Gyutaro bury his face in between them. It had been over an hour judging by the slight pains in your body. You stood on your arms on your futon and looked down to see Gyutaro who didn't seem to have any intention of stopping so you simply turned back to your spot and frowned at the sensation in your core.

"Ah-aah Gyutaro- are you going to finish yet?" You asked, your voice fragile.

You didn't want it to end because it was uncomfortable or you didn't like it, but a lot of time had passed and your body was beginning to ache and a heavy feeling invaded you. Gyutaro didn't say anything, he just looked up at you and continued doing his thing.

You couldn't take it anymore. You could feel your body damp with sweat, your legs trembling under your boyfriend's grip from being in the same position for too long, your entire cunt was wet and hot from Gyutaro's saliva, seeping into each of your folds every time. His tongue caressed your entire slit.

You could swear your clit was swollen from so much overstimulation and felt more sensitive than before making you squirm at the slightest movement of his lips.

Your moans filled the room as you moved your waist and tried to make the wet feeling of his tongue more pleasurable and maybe cum again. Your mind was empty until you heard more moans between your thighs, moans and whimpers from Gyutaro.

You leaned down to see him and sure enough, his voice trembled between your legs, saying incomprehensible praises to you and half-hearted curses into the air while he tasted you. His eyes were half open without taking an inch away from you, you could see the red painting his face and some tears threatening to salt the corners of his eyes while the sweat made the messy strands of his bangs stick to his forehead.

"G-Gyu-aah! Mmhh are you okay?"

An obscene snap sounded from between your legs as Gyutaro removed his lips from yours and looked at you. His gaze was lustful but somewhat lost, giving you the impression as if he were drunk, drunk on your taste.

"Oh babe, you're so fucking addictive...you're like a fucking drug to me..." His voice was raspy and shaky, his lascivious smile tilted sideways across his face and his sharp teeth were licked by his tongue to leave inside from his mouth every drop he had tasted of you. "You said you would make it up to me, now shut your mouth and spread your legs for me."

Saying this, Gyutaro lowered his hand towards you, introducing two of his fingers, making you arch your back along with a deep and loud moan that indicated your surprise.

You felt Gyutaro's fingers move inside you causing wet sounds as his big, thick thumb rested on your clit to press and move against your skin causing shivers to run through your body. You started moving towards him again, making his hand slide deeper and deeper into you listening to all kinds of dirty things he had to say to you until it was all too much and you cum on his hand for the fourth time in the night. Gyutaro's fingers immediately left you and he brought them to his mouth so as not to waste a single ounce of your release.

He opened your legs again and traced a line up and down with his tongue all over your cunt, completely licking your squirt in every corner. His lips sucked on your clit and his fingers finished overstimulating you until full of your flavor he dropped onto one of your thighs while he lazily kissed your skin and his fingers gently caressed your pussy.

[moncharrow]

giving loser!ellie head for the first time

a/n: wrote this a while ago but since i havent put anything out in a bit, figured this would suffice. inspired by that one twt video...

content/warnings: 886 words, gn reader, cunnilingus (e receiving, r giving), ellie's first time, fingering

eating loser!ellie out is a religious experience

you blow lightly, the cold sting making ellie's legs shudder. it’s her first time having someone go down on her, and you think it’s a fucking shame. every other girl must be blind to not want this sensitive, soaked pussy that clenches around nothing.

then again, you’re glad nobody else has done this for her, because you have the privilege of being first. thank god for that, you think, because you don’t want anyone else to get this kind of perfect view.

closest to you is her clit, puffy and pink with arousal. your eyes gaze next to the trail of neatly-trimmed hair leading up to her navel. just earlier, you’d teased her, licking down that line as she squealed and put her head in her hands. you’d just laughed. “i’ve never been touched there-"

she’d never been touched anywhere. it’s why she was so ecstatic every time you laid a hand on her. originally, you’d thought ellie was just introverted. that she didn’t like anybody touching her.

and then you’d learned she didn’t dislike your touch- on the contrary, she fucking loved it. she loved it so much she had to shy away from it, otherwise her clit would throb and she'd feel the familiar wet spot grow in her panties and her mind would start to wander and think of that time you bent down in front of her in that tiny, slutty skirt and-

ellie shakes again, face flushing the prettiest scarlet you've ever seen. it brings out the ambers and forest greens of her eyes. you lick a stripe up her entrance and she brings both hands up to clutch her face.

"oh shit- oh fuck, oh my god. holy-" her reactions are so cute that you almost feel bad for laughing at her so much, but the embarrassment she gets from it all is just too delicious to stop.

you pinch her clit in between two fingers and her hips jump up into your face. you suck harder and she yelps- is it mean? maybe. but you can tell that even though she's sensitive and nearly overstimulated, she feels amazing.

as your tongue continues its assault on her, she begins to move away. you know it's purely reflex, but you're persistent. ellie, despite being so sensitive, hasn't cum yet and you desperately need her to. when she props herself on her elbows and begins to throw her body backwards to try to shy from your touch, your arms hook around her thighs, encasing her. she can't get away, and this position allows your hands to further spread her open.

"pleasepleaseplease babe, come on, be nice to me." she rambles. despite her pleas, she was just as desperate as you, eagerly wanting to come undone on your tongue. knowing this, you don't repent.

she's still on her elbows, eyes transfixed on the way your mouth fucks her, how you look just as pleased as she does, like she's the best meal you've had. it very well might be, you think. her noises turn incomprehensible. you can make out vague "please"s and "fuck"s, but other than that, she's fully gone. ellie's breath is heavy and shallow. you hope this is a sign that's she about to finish.

your feel her clit twitch on your tongue, and you realize that, yes, she's getting closer. you speed up and ellie starts to thrash around. you look up at her, making eye contact, and she moans, throwing herself back against the bed. "babe, please! fuck- oh shit-!"

ellie's movements become more violent and you let go of her for a moment. she whines, thinking you're stopping to punishing her for being so defiant. as you lean back and sit on your legs, she begins to stutter out an apology that's cut off when you grip her waist and pull her up towards your mouth.

your lips start their assault again. ellie's legs are over your shoulders and her hips are elevated above the bed, allowing you to get into just the right angle that makes her scream. she grinds herself against your face and lets out more indistinguishable noises that you can only assume is ellie begging you to stop, but the way she pushes herself further into you, grinding her clit on your tongue, is telling you something different.

she squeals and you laugh into her cunt, sending vibrations through her body. the way she clenches tightly around your face, clamps down, and all but screams your name tells you that she's about to cum.

"fuck, oh fuck, please- please! a little more i'm almost- i'm so close to- haaaaah!" she finishes with a loud groan that fizzles out into pants. you fuck her through it, tongue slowing down as her head lolls to the side. her eyes are crossed and her legs shake slightly as you pull off of her, putting her thighs on the bed.

you kiss her forehead and she smiles softly. "you did so good for me, els. how was that?"

she grins cheekily, heavily lidded eyes focusing on you now. she bites her lip when she sees the gleaming slick covering your lips.

"it was fucking amazing, is what is was. you think i can do that to you sometime?"

my masterlist

[abbyshands]

♥︎ ❛ abby anderson, and your last day on set ❜ — you and abby were famous actors, the stars of a long running tv show, and today was your last day on set. it had come time for the finale of the show that had been running for years, and you were filming the last scene. but, as great an actor you were, and as simple a scene it was, you were having a hard time. you had five lines, but couldn’t get past the first. it was too painful. on the show, you and abby played lovers, and in real life, the two of you were very close. so as you tried your best to deliver your lines, you broke character over and over again. you were rolling again, your hands on abby’s chest, and hers on your cheeks. “i’m so glad i didn’t lose you,” you say in character. abby responded in character, her voice barely above a whisper as she spoke. “you’ll never lose me.” fuck, fuck, fuck. you do it again, breaking down in tears as you avert your gaze from abby’s piercing blues. “i’m sorry. i’m so sorry,” you say, unsure of who you’re apologizing to. “it’s hard,” you manage to choke out. abby’s safeguarding nature kicks into overdrive as she wipes your tears. “i know, baby, i know. it’s okay, it’s okay,” she coos, her voice nearly inaudible, because she’s speaking to you, not your character or anybody else on set. you. she leaned in to hug you, rubbing circles over your back. you don’t see this, but you can assume what happened when your director and crew members walk off, abby having mouthed for them to give the two of you a moment. even your director knew how hard this was for you, considering that you had actually been on the show from the very beginning, while abby became your love interest in the second season. but that didn’t even matter. these years you had had the privilege of spending as abby’s costar had healed you in ways incomprehensible, and to see them come to an end would be one of the most painful goodbyes you would ever have to say. you hiccuped against abby’s chest, tears falling freely as she held you tight. “it’s alright, my love. i’ve got you,” she whispered, pressing little kisses to the top of your head, rubbing slow circles into your back. “i don’t want t- to say goodbye,” you manage to choke out. “i know, baby. but it’s not a real goodbye. you’re always going to be mine,” she assured you, pulling back so she could look into your eyes as she said it. “even out of character?” you ask, eyes glossy, vulnerable. abby smiled down at you, giving you a nod. “especially out of character, sunshine,” she says, and there it was, that radiant smile of yours. sunshine, was abby’s character’s nickname, for your character. you place a kiss on abby’s nose, feeling better by the second. “i love you,” you tell her. “and i love you,” she tells you.

[dipperscavern]

pondering anon back again for the third time today 😔😔😔 i can’t stay away I CAN’T STOP PONDERING! MAKE IT STOP!!!!!

Thinking and pondering about the bedding ceremony with cregan. prior to the ceremony he pulls you aside, the nervousness and discomfort evident in your demeanour as the moment approaches. he implores you to reveal what it is that troubles you, what has brought you such discomfort on your wedding day, what troubles his darlings wife’s pretty head, and how what shall he do in order to bring you happiness on such a day where you are most paramount to him. he would not have your holy matrimony be built on such negative feelings. so when he finally clocks that it is the bedding ceremony… or moreso its audience that concerns you, all bets are off. he grabs your face and tilts it towards his own and makes his final vow for the night, that for as long as you are his wife, he shall do naught to displease you or indignify you. though some insolent voices amongst the “welcomed” guests (horny lords, medieval porn addicts) urged him to maintain the tradition that is not oft broken. for every great man there are tenfold lesser men.

to alleviate the bickering of bitchless blue balled lords, he agrees to let them spectate and witness the consummation. though ‘there has never lived a stark who forgot an oath’. so it was decided by cregan himself that they would indeed witness the consummation; but not through their eyes, through their ears. so the lords, less than eager to further question their wardens orders, resigned to sitting outside his bedchambers doors and sat there with each other in shameful silence as they hear the most lewd sounds echo from beneath the heavy oak door. they are just there, in the middle of the hallway, sat in chairs facing the door with their hands awkwardly clasped together in their laps and all they hear are your whines of pleasure, wet slapping sounds, the creaks of the wood bedframe, and cregans gutteral groans and occasional utterings of “mine” “my beautiful wife” and other inaudible ramblings of what could only be declarations of his devotion to keeping you nice and safe, keeping you his. letting you know that you are his as he is yours from that moment forward as your moans are heard from all seven kingdoms much to your dismay but a girl can’t help it! all they can do is picture how on earth it is that he is pleasuring you with such fervour. blue balled for life.

and they sit there until the first silence, when all sound ceases and it is evident through cregans very vocal and loud lovemaking that you had both reached your peaks (which left many lords wide eyed and stunned, as despite having witnessed so many consummations, none would be able to recall such a moment where a woman were to create such lustful sounds and certainly not able to recall a woman having an orgasm. “most unnatural” recalls one lord.). now very eager to remove themselves from such a humbling and quite embarrassing situation, some of the lords from lesser houses stood up to leave. though they were interrupted when the sounds of pleasure quickly resumed much to their astonishment. soon they were back to their former positions, staring at the door which at that point they could’ve sworn was the most dreadful door they had ever laid eyes on. just as soon, they came to understand that they would be there for some time (many hours on end as it turned out to be, well into the night and creeping towards the first light of dawn). only half made it through the entire bedding ceremony and many a lord fell asleep by the 3rd hour of ceaseless noise.

TLDR:::: cregan fucks hard, he fucks loud, and he fucks like he wants you pregnant as soon as possible (because he does :///////).

i apologize for such long asks of my incomprehensible ponderous thoughts, i’m not evening asking anything anymore i am simply begging for you to hear me out guys hes so fine #needthat 😔😔😔

just gonna… just gonna leave this here. i am so normal about this