#apocalypse's archenemy

[vertigoartgore]

Igor Korney's cover for Soldier X #7 (2003).

[knight-in-baggy-sweatpants]

"renegades is about grey morality" "oh the ending of supernova made the whole point of neutral morality completely moot" IT'S EXTREMISM. RENEGADES IS ANTI-EXTREMISM.

callum literally says to nova in archenemies that he disagrees with the anarchists because all they did was destroy, they believed the only way for the world to be as it should was to essentially cause the apocalypse. we don't talk about it enough, but the series DOES take place in a semi-recovered post-apocalyptic environment. and then the anarchists raised nova to destroy what little progress had been made towards recovery. yes the renegades were a very flawed system; the whole point is that they should be CHANGED, not DESTROYED.

[what-would-your-blorbo-do]

This poll was submitted to us. If you’d like to send us your own scenario (plus different ways a character might react to said scenario) so we could make a poll for you, feel free to send them to our inbox.

[heiligen-krieg-project]

Artillery

Jesus Christ in Heaven, Satan in the Sheol, and Artillery in Earth. No matter how divine, gargantuan, indestructible you are, a howitzer shell will tear you to shreds like it does with anyone else. The true god of war, artillery is paramount to every single belligerent in the Holy War both as a way to break fortifications, and to guarantee the defense of theirs.

From outdated machine guns to vicious field guns, the Brotherhood has no qualms in sending strongly-worded letters of destruction to the forces of Hell. Favouring mobility over excessive firepower, most of their guns are mobile and mounted atop repaired vehicles in a practice called "gun trucks", an ordinary military car with an engine divinely blessed to perpetually run on maximum speed, perfect for hit and run tactics.

On the other side of the war, the League of Winter much rather prefers armoring their mobile artillery, sacrificing speed for engagement security and more room for larger calibers. Yet, many believe they do not even enjoy guns for artillery, as most forces would rather spend their limited budget in rocket launchers that sing zealous prayers of obliteration.

Hell is not a single step behind in this aspect. In fact, his vile engines of war are instead much superior to what humanity can design. From absurd 106mm tank destroyers to 220mm mortars, the demons are known for making literal hellfire rain with everburning incendiary shells. Around the Ebonstone Gate, atop the spiked roofs of profane temples, 666mm howitzers disintegrate targets from miles away, and the rebuilt Schwerer Gustav rests above the Hellmouth, ready to open the Seals of Apocalypse should humanity ever come close to the Archenemy's palace.

Small yet noteworthy, a lesser power has recently emerged in the middle of the Holy War on humanity's side: the New Ottoman Empire, an alliance of most North African and Middle East nations to fight a common nemesis under the banner of the Golden Moon. They too consider mobile artillery a matter of cowards, displaying their arguments with bombards and falconets blessed seven times by the new knights templars. The introduction of new weapons in humanity's arsenal is proving the key to breaking the stalemate in their favor, and if what it takes is several tons of steel cannonballs, then let them rain.

[gojixyz69]

Why I love Bowser vs Eggman

I talked about this matchup a bit in my old posts heck I recently talked about who would so go and check it out, anyways the point is this is my most wanted Death Battle matchup and also my favorite matchup in general and today I'm going to talk about it. Remember this is just my opinion so if you disagree that's fine, now let's talk about it.

Connections:

Both Bowser and Eggman have a lot of connections and those are... both have a asistant/second in command who use there abilities to replicate there foes (Bowser Jr framed Mario as Shadow Mario and Metal Sonic framed Sonic in SH respectivally), both want to use power of extremely powerful gems (Chaos Emeralds and The Dream Stone respectivally), both have an army that they rule with an iron first, etc.

There are more connections like how they teamed up with there archenemy to fight a more powerful enemy (Dark Star and Solaris respecitcally) and how there companies are rivals, so yeah there are connections and more.

Debate:

To get out of the, Bowser would win and if you want to know why I talked about in a post whitch was litereally at the time I'm makings this, yesterday. To put it simply Bowser is stonger, more durable and has to many powers for Eggman to handle like transmutation, sealing, etc.

Animation potential:

If I had to explain it with a few words it would basically be this

https://www.deviantart.com/mrnoma/art/Bowser-vs-Eggman-set-up-and-death-1001223189

Basically Bowser vs Eggman should start like Ultron vs Sigma where it's an army battle but there the main foccus and the death should be more lile Black Adam vs Apocalypse with the loser seeing there Kingdom/Empire chrumble before being executed, whitch in this case would be Eggman whitch if that's the case then Bowser would either stomp Eggman's face like Apocalypse did to Black Adam or you can have him throw Eggman to the Death Egg and destroy with his fire breath. But if you think Eggman would win then Eggman would grab Bowser and burn him alive after showing that he conquered his kingdom. As for how the fight would go you can have Eggman using his giant machines fighting Bowser in his giant form, heck you can have Dreamy Bowser fight Nightmare Eggman, there's so much you can do here.

Banter potential:

It's pretty good, you can show there egotistic side while also showing how much of a force they can be, you can have there goofy moments as well.

Music potential:

Now this is where we get to the juicy stuff, Brandon Yates already made a commission track for the matchup called Hard Boiled Fury whitch you should listen to it's pretty good and if you know both Brandon and Therewolf made commission tracks for matchups that eventually became episodes of DB, for example and the recent one theres Deciphering Discord and Discordant Decipher by Brandon, both are amazing track with Discordant Decipher being better than the og, so imagine Hard Boiled Fury but better and potentially with lyrics, that would be amazing to listen to.

Solving problems and update:

Death Battle had Bowser and Eggman, with Bowser fighting Ganon and Eggman fighting Wily and while Eggman vs Wily was good the problem is that it's old it happened in Season 1 since then there's new material to use for Eggman. As for Bowser his episode was unfortunatelly bad, it has mans problems whitch I sugesst watching a review of it but to put it simply they did Bowser dirty in his own episode and it's old not as old as Eggman's but still old. So this matchup would fix it while adding new stuff for both.

History:

Now this is where I talk about the main reason why I love this matchup, both Bowser and Eggman were part of my childhood with Bowser being my favorite villain and Eggman being entertaining and also my favorite scientist, so you can see why I love this matchup it's a fight between two of my favorite villains who were also in a way my childhood.

So yeah that's my thoughts on it, overall I love this matchup it has a lot of potential to be a great if not a perfect episode and I would happy if it finally happened in Death Battle.

[graphicpolicy]

Twelve Mutants answer the call to be Apocalypse's successor in X-Men: Heir of Apocalypse

Twelve Mutants answer the call to be Apocalypse's successor in X-Men: Heir of Apocalypse #comics #comicbooks #xmen

Before the X-Men enter a new age this summer, a challenge must be held to determine who will inherit Apocalypse’s sacred responsibility in X-Men: Heir of Apocalypse! Written by Steve Foxe and drawn by Netho Diaz, this four-issue limited series kicks off in May and sees the X-Men’s former archenemy gather 12 mutants for an epic tournament to discover who is fit enough to take his place. After…

[aziraphales-library]

Any ineffable husbands fic where there is ineffable bureaucracy as side ships?

Yep...

Miracles by TawnyOwl95 (E)

TICKETS ON SALE NOW!

Ladies, for one night only, The Tadfield Arms presents, straight from their recent You Tube success,

Celestial Cement's Saints and Sinners

They may not be young, they may not be pretty, they may not be any good, but in these hard times they are prepared to take their clothes off for money!

Or, the Full Monty/stripper AU I decided I needed more than sanity.

Love in Limbo by TheOldAquarian (T)

Aziraphale and Crowley are racing to stop the apocalypse by scheming to get Gabriel and Beelzebub together. It's not going to be easy to spark a romance between an angel and a demon who have seemingly nothing in common, but luckily, falling madly in love with an archenemy is something Aziraphale and Crowley have experience with. If only they could admit it to each other before the end of the world.

The Mighty Fall by LawrVert (T)

After the Apocalypse was averted, Gabriel and Beelzebub are banished to Earth by their respective head offices and forced to live among humans as their powers fade and they become mortal. Forced to rely on Aziraphale and Crowley for help, they form an uneasy alliance and learn what it means to be human.

Best Laid Plans by Arielavader (E)

Anthony Crowley loves putting off the creeps that ask for his friend Bea's phone number (She gives out his number, you see.) But a call from a man Bea calls Angel might just change everything. Especially when Crowley and the angel have to team up to figure out what's going on between Bea and the angel's roommate, Gabriel.

All You Knead Is Love by fumi_faust & Writer_Maxtli (NR)

Anthony Crowley left behind the world of high class dining to open a small bakery in Soho. Aziraphale is a lonely bookshop owner who finds it on accident. Cue rom com levels of romance, baking shenanigans, and everyone being happy. As they say, if you want a hyper specific bakery AU, you gotta do it yourself.

Square One by Angels_Grace (T)

There are only so many times you can listen to the Sound of Music sound track on loop. Aziraphale had reached that limit around two hours ago...

Aziraphale is starting his first year at university under the watchful eye of his older brother, Gabriel. He plans to grin and bear it to make his mother proud, but falls into his brother's drama and, well, he meets a really cute boy that Gabriel just doesn't seem to approve of.

- Mod D

[honey-olive]

Arthur: The Four Knights of the Apocalypse. My archenemies.

The sins: We thought we were your archenemy Arthur.

Arthur: I have a life outside fo you guys >:(

[rassilon-imprimatur]

Flux! I love Flux! The Halloween Apocalypse good! Loved it! 

It’s technically little more than a teaser for the other five episodes but it’s really fun. The pacing is absolute breakneck crack, but that really worked for me? There's so much going on, the episode feel so full. Was really surprised to already see the Sontarans, very intrigued that this wasn't even the Angels' main event, more of a tease for (presumably) their actual episode. Really sucked into the Diane and Claire side of things.

Jodie and Mandip are on fire together, excellent chemistry and energy, the Doctor and Yaz are working together so beautifully. Love Dan! Dan’s good. 

The Ravagers already have me by the throat, really into what’s going on here. Swarm himself is already brimming with ideas and tasters (killing the Division agents and clearly regenerating into another actor and design after absorbing them was nifty, said a lot with very little), and giving the Doctor an archenemy she can’t remember is exquisitely wacky EU energy. Loved Swarm’s sister having a setup and awakening as a twisted reflection of Ruth’s from Fugitive of the Judoon. 

Vinder is a fucking cutie pie. Really intrigued by the quiet revelation that not all Division agents are (were) Gallifreyan? 

I really love this. Happy Halloween to me and me only. 

[lovingrosewho]

Purgatory

Hello again! Long story short, previously I had watched Supernatural until the very beginning of season 12, because I found out what happened at the end and at that time, I just knew I wouldn’t be able to take it. Now that I’m rewatching the whole series I figured I’d might as well just keep watching what I didn’t anddd it hasn’t been much easier haha, I cried a lot and immediately started writing this, even before reaching the end of S12, so yeah that’s how bad I wanted my heart not to ache as much. Anyways, for those same reasons, I didn’t know about “the Empty” and perhaps a few things don’t make a lot of sense but I tried them to, sooo, hope you enjoy :-) Plus, some usual disclaimers: English is not my first language, any feedback is welcome, etc. <3 Ly all <3 

ONE SHOT

Pairing: Crowley x Reader

Rating: T.- Angst, fluff

Word count: 3.7k+ words (yes, I got a little carried away)

Summary: you somehow get trapped in Purgatory and find Crowley

Warnings: SPOILERS AHEAD, SET AFTER SEASON 12, veeery slight smut, nudity(?), cursing

You don’t know how you got here. Everything’s dark. Like, pitch dark. The sounds are terrifying; growls and screams all along, sounds of beasts. The smell of blood and death ahead. 

Come on, think. What’s the last thing you remember? You were under a witch spell. Scratching and killing any single thing that got on your way. You had claws. 

You begin to walk, but the creak of the dry leafs beneath you is noisy around here, red eyes surround you and you’re forced to run in the only direction that seems viable. 

Legs trembling, you reach a clear spot between the woods. Where are you? 

“Hello darling” a voice with a british accent behind you startles you. You turn around ready to fight. A man in a ragged suit, covered in dirt and blood raises his hands in surrender “Relax, I’m not here to fight”. 

“Who are you? Where am I?” you demand taking a few steps backwards. He gazes at you curiously.

“You’re... well, we are in Purgatory, love” he reveals and you freeze. 

“No... no that can’t be right” you mumble, more to yourself than to him “Humans don’t go to Purgatory”. 

“That’s exactly what I was wondering. Fancy explaining?” he says in a smug tone. You eye him untrustfully. 

“Who are you?” you ask a second time. He looks impassive.

“Name’s Crowley. Who I am doesn’t matter” he answers cuttingly “What matters is... how and why did you get here? 

You shift uncomfortably, laying your weight first in one foot and then the other. 

“A witch casted a spell on me. I don’t remember much after that... just that I... had claws, and fierce, sharp teeth” you explain careful not to reveal too much information.

“Ah, yes” he nods and chuckles slightly “Nasty spell, that one. Never figured it sent you to Purgatory being a human, though”. 

“Me neither, must be the type of spell” you murmure, when you hear sounds coming from the woods again. Crowley takes your hand.

“Come with me” he says, and with little to no other option, you accept nervously and start walking right behind him. 

You’ve been a hunter your whole life, that is, until you stopped a year ago. You were tired, of the running, of death following you around, of the loneliness. But of course you never knew when, nor how, to fully stop. 

Crowley and you walk in silence, but the foggy ambiance and the sad landscape begin to make you uneasy. 

“How long have you been here?” you ask him, voice almost echoing amongst the trees. A few crows on the distance take flight and their croaks reach your ears, making you shiver. 

“Time doesn’t exist here” he explains after a few seconds “I don’t know how long it’s been”. 

You nod quietly. 

“Why are you helping me?” you sincerely wonder. He stops dry and turns to you.

“Am I?” he asks back, eyes in a little bit of annoyance. You shrug and he sighs, suddenly a dull aura washes over him “I’ll explain when we are somewhere safe. We’re almost there, just, hang on for a little longer, Pet”. 

You accept and start walking again, when you hear a strange hiss. Sideways, you get to see a vampire aiming for your neck. You hit it with a branch near you, but in response it throws you across the woods, hitting your back with a tree. Pain strikes you out, you’re barely able to get up, the adrenaline of hunting coming right back to you, ready to keep fighting, when Crowley beheads it from behind with a machete. 

“My, my. What do we have here?” he says in amusement, eyeing you “I know that look. That pose. You’re a hunter. I knew no common human could take that lightly being killed by a witch and going to Purgatory”. 

Before you can even answer he grabs your arm, prompting you to keep walking.

“Easy there love. If that one found us, that means there’s more to come. We’ll chat when we’re safe” he states and you nod, following him. 

You don’t know how much time passes. It feels like ages walking. Everything starts to look the same. You and Crowley reach a darker area.

“Does this mean it’s sundown?” you ask innocently. Crowley chuckles. 

“No. Nothing like that. There’s no such thing as sundown here. Everything stays the same. There’s no day nor night” he explains “No, this place is just where I come to get some rest when I can. It’s usually lonesome, but I try to keep moving anyways”. 

“It’s weird but...” you begin “I don’t really feel sleepy... I’m tired yeah but-“ 

“We don’t sleep here. We keep moving, fighting, killing. That’s the punishment” he says while climbing up a tree, not bothering to look at you “Come with me”. 

You sigh, and follow him once again. 

When you’re both far up enough, there’s no other option than to lay as close as you can to him, so neither of you fall down. You cuddle up in his chest. He doesn’t say a word as you do so, just slips an arm behind your waist so you don’t lose balance. 

“So” Crowley finally speaks “A hunter”. 

You sigh once again.

“Retired. Sort of” you try to tell and he chuckles. 

“I have it on good source there’s no such thing as a ‘retired’ hunter”. He’s not wrong. 

“Yeah well, that was exactly my problem” you say, closing your eyes for a second, but damn you, you can’t feel sleepy not even trying “Name’s (Y/N), by the way. You never asked”. 

“I figured you wouldn’t tell me if I asked” he guesses and you half smirk “I’m planning on keeping the nicknames either way”. 

You roll your eyes.

“Never told you not to” you tease and now he’s the one to half smirk “Who’s your ‘good source’?” you ask changing the subject.

“The Winchesters. You must have heard of them”. You’re not quite sure but it seems to you there’s a hint of nostalgia in his voice. 

“Doesn’t ring a bell” you confess muttering, the darkness suddenly weighing on you. You cuddle up to him even more. 

“It doesn’t?” he interrogates incredulously “That’s... weird. To say the least”. 

“Very” you agree. You thought you knew every hunter in the country. 

“They’ve stopped one or two little Apocalypses” he tells you. You laugh lowly. 

“I’m guessing you were good friends” you assume, and you don’t know it but Crowley’s heart breaks a little.

“More like archenemies” he reflects after a few moments, but you don’t believe him for a second.

“You’re not serious”.

“Deadly”. 

You stay quiet with this last statement and opt to stay silent in his arms, as the minutes pass. 

“I think I can help you go back” he murmurs. You frown.

“How?” 

“I don’t know much, but the same good source... told me there’s a way out. A portal back, if you will”. 

“That’s just a myth” you say, a sparkle of hope shinning through nonetheless.

“It got them out” he says, referring to his friends. 

You huff and shrug shortly afterwards.

“Well if you’re gonna help me go back” you talk distracted drawing circles in his chest “You can get back too right?” 

“I don’t know if it works for demons”. You gasp, you thought he was just a common... well, human.

“Demons don’t go to Purgatory” you mumble, which makes him exhale absently.

“Apparently I did”. 

His confession puts you in alert, you still don’t understand, but you know now’s not the time to discuss it, now you need to survive, and that’s not going to happen without Crowley. You’re tired, confused, and besides, at this point, being dead, in freaking Purgatory, you couldn’t care less about what he is.

Your body begins to feel drowsy, you haven’t closed your eyes at all and the lack of movement feels paralyzing. 

“Ready to get moving love?” Crowley asks you when he feels you shifting. You nod and disentangle yourself from him, slowly getting down the tree. 

What seems like days, or maybe even weeks, you spend it together. It’s getting tiring. You’ve found better weapons but it feels as if you’re just walking in circles. Maybe you are. You enjoy Crowley’s company, but there had been hunts, or more like survivals, you’ve been about to give up. He has noticed and has saved your ass more times than you could count. 

“I can’t do this anymore” you tell him one day while you’re next to a river, getting freshed up. He sighs. 

“We’re almost there (Y/N). Humans don’t belong here. The portal will spit you out the moment we get to it” he explains carefully.

“And I suppose you want a ticket out” you mock but he looks you in the eye, dead serious. 

“I don’t expect you to take me with you” he admits and takes you by surprise, his expression makes you gulp so you nod silently. He sighs again “I’ve done horrible things, love. Things you can’t even imagine. I’ve killed, I’ve kidnapped, I’ve tortured”. 

“But you’ve changed” you dare say, a slight smile appearing on his lips “I love it when you smile”. 

This time he grins naturally. You’re about to say something else when two asteroids of black mud drop to the dirt right next to you. 

“Bollocks” Crowley mutters “(Y/N) run!” 

You start seeing how the strange goo takes human form, whilst you step backwards to stand behind Crowley. 

“Go for the head” he indicates quickly, before whatever the things that you’re facing come right at you. 

You fight until they are beheaded on the floor. Crowley takes your hand, moving you away from the scene so no more of those find you. 

“What were those?” you say as Crowley pushes you to keep moving, your eyes in shock looking at the scene.

“Leviathan. I’ll explain later, now we’ve gotta run”.

You reach a safe spot in the woods and cover yourself in leafs as camouflage. 

“Crowley” you mutter almost inaudible “What the hell?” 

You are laying next to each other, his body almost melting in yours because of the need of heat and compact. 

He begins sighing, and tells you all about his life. His time as a human, as a demon, the Winchesters, Apocalypse, the angels, leviathans, him as a blood junkie, the need of love, of comfort and feelings.

You listen expectantly, you had never thought you’d see that side of Crowley. 

He finishes the story telling you about Lucifer and the Cage, how his ego, and his need for revenge, wanted to win, to see Lucifer suffer. 

“So... King of Hell huh?” you mock, speaking when he’s done, he just huffs playfully “But neither of those things were all that made you sacrifice yourself, were they?” 

He chuckles and shakes his head lightly. 

“I’d like to think after that the Winchesters finally saw that I was on their side” he admits “There was a time you wouldn’t see me fighting, I would be the one to witness the fights and do nothing... maybe God is punishing me for that”. 

“Maybe...” you say “Damn it. I should’ve quit hunting when I could”. 

Crowley chuckles. 

“Why are you telling me this anyways?” you continue timidly.

“I’m getting you out of here, (Y/N). I figured, we’re just a few more hours until we get to the portal... what is a little more softness from my part?”

“Why?” you still demand “Why would you help me if there isn’t anything in it for you?” 

“Because it’s the right thing to do” he says with a serious face. 

You keep talking for a while. You tell him a bit about your life, hunting, family, friends... and he listens attentive, stroking your hair as the words come out of your mouth. 

Afterwards, you stay silent, leaving the conversation at that. It’s been a few rough days (if you can call that days), and you two have shared more than enough to each other. 

“(Y/N)...” he calls your name quietly “Before we leave, there’s something I need to do”. 

“What is it?” you say lifting yourself up a bit to look him in the eyes. His scruffed beard almost grazing your chin, his eyes looking at your mouth. 

“Care to guess?” he says as he catches your lips in a gasp, you part them and begin exploring his mouth, letting his tongue dive into yours, deepening the kiss.

The heat is consuming the both of you, desperation and need for contact, for love, catches you two off guard, wandering for more. Your hand roams across his chest, grabbing him and closing any single distance existing in between, and then travels to his crotch. His on the other side, moves to your hair and pulls you to him, his other hand tightening on your waist, an eager grasp, but he stops you right there.

“(Y/N)” he says softly “I... we can’t”.

“Why not?” you say confused, still kissing his neck and jaw. 

“We could get killed” he explains holding you gently, making you look at him “We need to keep moving, we’re almost there”. 

“What if I never see you again?” you ask, voice cracking. He gives you a light, sad smile. 

“Hopefully, you won’t” he jokes, embracing you tightly. Sideways, you get a peek of what you think it’s a tear leaving his eye. 

You get up feeling heavy. This place has weighed on you but so has the fact that Crowley seems decided to stay behind, and you’ve come... to love him, actually. 

A few hours walking pass. The forest is in absolute silence, monsters just in the distance.

Suddenly, an electromagnetic force starts calling your senses, you feel drawn to it. 

“We’re almost there” you tell him, knees beginning to feel weak after all the walking, the fighting. You feel like you’ve been swimming non-stop all this time and just now you are about to touch mainland. Crowley smiles and nods, sensing you’re probably right. 

Finally, the portal appears in front of your eyes. Blue, electric lights, the end of the tunnel. 

Crowley stands close behind you, waiting for you to go, suppressing the need to cry and scream and curse at watching you leave. 

Unexpectedly, you turn to him and grab his hand, pulling him with you.

“You’re coming with me” you tell him with one foot on the other side of the almost closed portal.

“Are you out of your bloody mind?!” he yells “You don’t know if it’ll work!”

“I have to try!” you yell back almost in a sob, and with one last pull, Crowley’s inside the portal with you, it closes instantly and spins you around for what seems like eternity. 

You wake up in a field in the middle of nowhere. There’s no road, no signs, no nothing. And Crowley is nowhere to be seen.

“Damn it!” you scream at the sky in tears, realizing the portal must’ve bounced him right back at Purgatory. Or maybe even some place worse. 

“Quite the temper, haven’t we?” a voice coming from behind some bushes startles you. 

It’s him.

You can’t believe it.

It’s really him.

“Crowley!” you say running to him. He picks you up in his arms and hugs you as if he hadn’t seen you in decades. 

“Hello, darling” he greets softly leaving you on the ground, wiping the tears off your cheeks with his thumb. 

“I thought I’d lost you”.

“Well, no. Apparently you’re not so lucky” he mocks and you laugh, smacking him lightly on the chest. 

“So” you start “What now? Can’t you use your demon powers to zap us out of here?” 

He makes a thoughtful face for a second and then shakes his head.

“I think they’re gone” he confesses.

“What do you mean gone? As in gone-gone?” you interrogate in surprise.

“Yes as in gone-gone” he admits rolling his eyes playfully “I don’t understand why I...”

“Maybe you’re getting a second chance” you tell him with a grin, which he returns but it’s not quite sure about “Whatever, we’ll... we’ll figure something out”. 

Now’s the time to keep walking, this time hand in hand, no weapons needed, until you find the main road and manage to sneak into the back of a truck. 

When you get to the civilization, you politely ask some woman on the street if you can use their phone to call some pals. They send you some cash so you can go back home. 

You get to your apartment after what appears to be a lifetime, though your friends tell you it’s just been four months since they last heard from you. 

Both you and Crowley strip out of your dirty, ragged clothes and get into the shower together, washing down the dirt and blood, but it’s more than that, it’s a new start.

You get Crowley a towel to dry himself, which he does with you sitting on his lap, drying yourself as well. 

“What’s next, Kitten?” he asks when he’s finished, wrapping his arms around your waist, seeing as you drop the towel to the floor. 

“Well no more hunting, for starters” you declare and he chuckles “Apart from that, I have no idea”. 

You stop to think for an instant. 

“Does this mean you’re entirely human?” you ask shyly. He looks at you, a mix of fear and hope in his eyes. 

“Shall we find out?” he interrogates and you nod, placing your hand to his chest, relaxing the moment you sense his heartbeat “Go get the holy water, Pet. We should be sure anyways”. 

So you test him with holy water, salt, a demon trap, and even a demon knife you had laying around. He’s human. 

The two of you grin lightly and stay embraced for a while in the couch, taking in the scent of the other, still naked. 

He stays quiet for a bit, but then clears his throat and speaks again.

“Do you mind if I use your phone to call my... Moose and Squirrel?” he asks, tone a bit shy. 

“Be my guest” you say smiling, lifting up from him so he can put an oversized old robe you had on and call his friends. 

You hear some rings through the phone.

“Funny” he says lowly “Says none of this numbers exist”. 

“What?” you say frowning “Try again”. 

He does but the machine keeps telling him the same.

“Well, maybe they ditched their phones?” you presume “They’re hunters, wouldn’t be uncommon”. 

“No, I suppose it wouldn’t” he reflects.

“Have you got an address?” you ask “If the Impala hasn’t been stolen, we could pay them a visit”. 

He nods still a bit confused. 

“The Impala?” he questions carefully. 

“Yeah, my car”.

He goes silent again, but sighs and shrugs shortly afterwards.

“Do you have any clothes that’ll fit me?” he says doubtful.

“Yeah, I must’ve somewhere”.

You look through the drawers and find some men clothes. Must be from a friend, or an ex-boyfriend or something.

“Hopefully this’ll fit” you say handing him over a pair of black jeans, plain black t-shirt and black shoes. He sighs.

“We’re going shopping after this” he declares starting to change, you laugh and roll your eyes. 

When you hit the road, the address he gives you seems oddly familiar, but you decide not to ask questions just yet, and instead wait to see what happens. 

You feel safe with him on the road. His hand on your knee while you drive and his absent stare on the highway. 

You get to the place and... you weren’t wrong, this is your old grandparents house. 

“Crowley...” you begin as he gets out of the car and towards the door “What are we doing here?” 

“We...” he says as he tries to open the door, and can’t but notice this place doesn’t look quite similar to what he remembered, and it hasn’t even been that long. You frown and take out the old keys to open the door. He stares at you in shock. 

“My grandparents used to live here. Men of Letters and all” you chuckle opening the door, Crowley has gone silent. You turn on the bunker’s lights and inhale the book and dust scent. 

“This whole time, it was you” he acknowledges but you don’t understand.

“What do you mean me? What are you talking about?” 

“I think... I think the portal bounced me to another dimension, to your dimension, just like I was telling you” Crowley tells you after putting two and two together.

“Oh” you finally understand “Oh”.

Inevitably, your heart fills with worry. You don’t want him to leave. 

You get back to the car and just sit there, trying to process what just happened. 

“We should go back to you place” he mutters after a while “It’ll be easier to decide what to do”. 

You nod and start the engine on. 

When you’re back at your apartment, everything feels kind of different, there’s a heavy tension coating the room. 

“I’m gonna change into something more comfortable” you state heading for your room. When you’re stripping out of your jeans, Crowley enters your bedroom as you put some pajama shorts on and losing the bra without taking your t-shirt off. When he sees you, he walks slowly over you and with a playful look pulls you to the bed with him. You begin to stroke his hair while he’s laying on your chest.

“Crowley” you mumble, unsure about what you’re about to say “Maybe we can find a way back. To your friends I mean”.

“Who says I wanna go back?” he says frowning “I was tired of having a bunch of demons on my tail the whole bloody time anyways”. 

“But aren’t you going to miss them? Sam and Dean? And Castiel? And your mother?” you say worried, it’s not like you are pushing him to leave, it really isn’t, but you don’t want him to stay if that means he won’t be happy. He already knows that. 

“Mother is dead as far as I know, as for the other three Hardy boys... they’ll do just fine without me” he says a bit nostalgic but giving you a genuine smile “Besides, I have you now, haven’t I?” 

You smile back and nod.

“Then I have everything I could possibly want or need right here” he declares, turning to kiss you

MASTERLIST

[darkpurpledawn]

Love in Limbo by TheOldAquarian

Rated: M

Tags: Ineffable Husbands, Ineffable Bureaucracy, Romantic Comedy, Banter, Humor, Hijinks & Shenanigans, none of the worldbuilding here is meant to be ontologically or ecologically coherent, Based on the movie Set It Up (2018), Implied Sexual Content, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, the apocalypse but played for laughs, Sharing a Bed, Limbo is a place here and it has a juice bar, the corporate culture of heaven and hell (is a disaster), Crowley's relationship with his plants is 50 shades of screwed up, Matchmaking

Aziraphale and Crowley are racing to stop the apocalypse by scheming to get Gabriel and Beelzebub together. It's not going to be easy to spark a romance between an angel and a demon who have seemingly nothing in common, but luckily, falling madly in love with an archenemy is something Aziraphale and Crowley have experience with. If only they could admit it to each other before the end of the world

Chapter 7/10 is now up!

[sliding-into-space]

Zombie au questions, how did Hacker get locked away? What kind of powers does Slider have? Does he ever punch anybody, like Hacker? Relationships between him and everybody else at cc, what are they like?

THANK YOU FOR FUELING MY OBSESSION WITH THIS AU! :)

So! Control Central is one of the only strongholds left that isn't crawling with masses of infected. Buzz and Delete get infected, bringing it onto the Grim Wreaker, which unfortunately means he can't stay on there safely and just avoid all the Cybersites. So he shows up at Control Central with an ego an size of a Texas Senator, thinking that for some strange reason he'll be hailed as a saving grace for Cyberspace and be crowned ruler because clearly if Motherboard had been stronger she could have stopped this, despite who actually created the virus and all that. Instead he is greeted by Coop punching him squarely in the face because Slider is half rotting code now and that kinda pisses Coop off. But unfortunately he does have handy info so instead of kicking him out to rot in his own virus, they lock him in a cell in Control Central where he, Marbles, Coop, and Archenemies are working together to try to find a cure.

That's where Slider comes in. The virus is spread by physical contact. He got attacked at the skatepark but made it home back to Coop before it completely got to his processors meaning he was still in his right mind. Coop in a panic puts on a radiation suit and drives like a madman to Control Central to beg Dr Marbles to save Slider. After several tries they were able to make a solution that can stop the spread, but not get rid of it, unfortunately it needs to be given every week or else the spread starts up again. They also can't have Slider running around and infecting others so he's in a glass containment cell in the lab and has unfortunately become more of a lab rat for possible solutions to the virus, making him kinda bitter and detached. As for his powers he's still working on being able to control it. Picture a black goo of code that's attached to Slider at all times. The more upset he gets the more unstable his code becomes and the more goo like he becomes. Hacker takes great enjoyment in trying to get Slider as deformed as possible. Slider can form different shapes with it, have larger strength and can even control smaller amounts of it when it's detached from his body. When he gets out of containment all of control central gets put into lockdown. They have developed a freeze ray that basically when used on Someone, it traps them int a containment of the ray, so when Slider gets out and gets caught, he just grumpily gets escorted back to his cell in a floating beam of light.

Slider has become pretty bitter and sarcastic, he doesn't believe that people have good intentions anymore and doesn't care about saving Cyberspace. Coop tries to visit him as much as possible but won't speak up about stopping any testing on Slider because he understands what's at stake. The kids do not exist in this universe and are dropped in by accident via a glitching portal from their own canon universe. Most characters are a lot more desperate, mistrusting, tired, and mean bc it's the apocalypse bayBEEE! If you wanna know about a specific character just send another ask about it. Slider is closest to Digit bc Digit is the only one who actually thinks he shouldn't have to be there and shows that he still has a moral compass.

[true-blue-sonic]

I’m thinking about how much Silver’s life has sucked up to this point because honestly…

Sonic ’06. You spend 14 years of your life fighting your archenemy, a giant fire demon, with only your bullied best friend at your side. Some creep with no mouth shows up and yeets you through time and space in order to kill someone who he vaguely proclaims responsible. You are desperate to save your world but also unsure about what the right thing to do is and oops, you tried to kill a guy twice and then it turns out you were wrong, hijinks ensue, you are ready to sacrifice yourself but your best friend goes in your place instead, the guy who you tried to kill died anyway and now you need to help fight the literal god of the sun and also time. You win, the timeline gets rewritten, and you still exist in its replacement! Neat.

Problem: you now have an archnemesis who travels back in time to turn the whole planet into a card, and then when you defeat him he escapes and releases a different fire demon on the world. This destroys your future before you are able to travel back in time and stop the event and also should have caused the mother of all paradoxes, but that’s neither here nor there. You defeat your archnemesis with help from your new best buddy, leave him (your archnemesis, not your pal) for dead in a burning hell dimension, and all is well. You get to go to an amusement park and meet your sacrificed best friend there! You don’t recall her at all beyond a vague feeling of familiarity.

Next you somehow end up in the broken realm between dimensions where you battle one of your rivals and get crushed under your own immensely dense and heavy debris ball that you were keeping as your last resort in battle. Oops again. At least you get to attend a birthday party afterwards that you weren’t even invited for, which is nice.

However the future is still not safe! You go back in time again to participate in a 6-month global war, and you nearly get steamrolled by your enemy’s newest and most powerful creation for your efforts. Luckily this time your participation in the plot has actually paid off and a disaster is averted. You go back to your era once more only to find that basically everyone and everything has been turned into metal and/or disintegrated. Yet another time-travel trip later and you are one of the like legit four survivors of the actual zombie robot apocalypse before you and your presence manage to save everyone at the last second. Finally, finally, your future is saved, at least in one continuity and until the plot demands that it is destroyed again.

I know other characters go through a lot of crap in this franchise (just look into Tails’ or Shadow’s backstory), but I consider Silver to definitely have it among the roughest of all. However, to me it’s very inspiring that Silver manages to be so optimistic, bright, and just despite having every right to be bitter and angry about the situation he finds himself in.

A large problem is that he needs to be relevant (to a degree) when the plot of a game demands it, and a ruined future that he tries to circumvent is often the main reason for him to be there. I myself would like it better if he decided to stay in the past for good and negate any possible dangers from there, without the time travel, but that is of course not up to me.

[aziraphales-library]

hello! Are there any fanfics which has Aziraphale x Crowley and Beezlebub x Gabriel?? <33

Hi! There are loads of fics with Aziraphale/Crowley and Beelzebub/Gabriel! Here is just a selection for you...

Love in Limbo by TheOldAquarian (T)

Aziraphale and Crowley are racing to stop the apocalypse by scheming to get Gabriel and Beelzebub together. It's not going to be easy to spark a romance between an angel and a demon who have seemingly nothing in common, but luckily, falling madly in love with an archenemy is something Aziraphale and Crowley have experience with. If only they could admit it to each other before the end of the world.

The Garden Party by StarryEyedForAnArchangel (M)

The traitors are enjoying life after Armageddon't on a beautiful sprawling estate, showing up the historical fashion humans with their historically accurate duds.

Two Bureaucrats are doing the same, trying to enjoy their own lives that they've made up.

Shenanigans ensured.

Hell is a place on earth by phlintandsteel (T)

“And think about joining the neighborhood watch, we meet on Wednesdays!”

Crowley immediately turned around as soon as Gabriel let him out of their little encounter, so he just waved the newspaper over his head noncommittally as he headed back into his house.

“Who was that you were talking to?” Aziraphale asked, nodding at the kitchen window while he poached their eggs on the stove.

“Some cunt.”

Sometimes it's cosmic, sometimes it's cocktail weiners by myladyclegane (M)

All executive chef Anthony J Crowley wanted was a cider and some time with the girls(of the Golden variety) after his double shift, what he gets is playing savior when his best friend and next door neighbor (and desperate crush) has to unexpectedly host a last minute game night for his awful co-workers.

Love no one must speak of by deaddarkness (M)

They couldn't be any different from each other yet whilst good and evil will always hate each other in ways, some how over time unusual feelings and attraction arises for the two bureaucratic representatives Garbiel and Beelzebub a foreboding desire had come to the surface after the stalling of the end of days. Though they aren't alone.....

Bohemian Rhapsody by Joseph_Amadeus (M)

They meet when Crowley decides to write a book and gets some help from his best friend's brother-in-law. Or how Crowley writes a book for Aziraphale

- Mod D

[naerryn]

Fragile Tension (Part One)

Part Two

“How many coffee is that now?”, my partner Lea asked bemused when she sat down at the edge of my office desk as she’s eyeing the steaming black coffee next to my laptop.

“Six? I am surprised you’re really drinking this dishwater.”, she asked in the blue, tugging some of hair messy curly hair behind her round ears and I noticed dark circles around her chocolate brown eyes, even through her almond brown skin tone concealed a lot of her tiredness.

“Better than nothing.”, I shrugged her comment off and added some milk and sugar into the porcelain mug. Nightshift at the Magic Task Force facility was always an unpleasant experience, to say the least. Either nothing was going on and you had to fight sleep for ten hours straight, or the crazy shit was blowing up right into our face. There was nothing in between.

At least, there weren’t many other agents in the building at this hour. Especially almost to no elves.

“Oh, guess what.”, Lea started talking again, obviously I was part of her plan to fight off her desire to sleep while I was stirring my coffee with a silver spoon. I hummed in respond, waiting for her to continue talking.

“I heard Agent Arlon bitching about the public speech your mother held in the elf district of Seattle today. Shame for all elves and the usual bullshit.”

“And here I thought you head something new.”, I replied with a dramatic roll of my eyes, taking a sip from my almost to sweet tasting coffee. It was an open secret that the bigger part of the elvish society considered my mother to be their personal Dark Lord. Or antichrist, how humans liked to say in such a matter.

She worked since decades for a real equality between all races, not just one that stood on paper. Growing up privileged, my mother sympathized at a very young age with creatures that weren’t lucky enough to live behind guarded walls and enjoy the best unaffordable education for over 60 % of the planet.

Her speeches back then were waved off as youthful flaws, but when she felt in love with a human and decided to give birth to the first halfbreed of the elvish kind, that crossed the line for most elves.

It was socially tolerated to have a secret affair with humans, but that’s were the comfort zone ended. Being in an official relationship would be a scandal to an alarming extent and the pressure to much to bear, but breeding with a different race, that was a social death sentence.

I lived my childhood in the elf district of New York City, moved with my parents to three more elvish districts around the country before we finally settled in Los Angeles. Still a lot of hate, but at least there was enough other gossip that we could live our lives in peace for most parts. There were only heydays of hatred whenever mother did one of her more passionate speeches about equality or wanted to enforce a new law that didn’t benefit the needs of the elves.

“One should think that they are more discrete with you being around.”, Lea said thoughtfully, taking one of the elder files that rested on my desk and flipped through the pages.

“Nah, they love it when I walk in to listen to their shit. Hoping I will cry my eyes out about it.”

Back when Lea and I got paired up roughly three years ago, she thought I am just one of those arrogant elves that fill the halls of the department, thinking that everyone should bow to them. But that impression dissolved into dust when she witnessed me getting bullied by elvish coworkers on a daily basis.

I may looked like them, minus the pointed teeth and the bright, light colored eyes, those were human, I got treated like an abomination since the day of my conception. Even by my elvish grandparents.

A loud ping echoed through the open space office and the door of the elevator opened with a swift motion, revealing the Agents Kandomere and Montehugh to be back from a field trip.

I growled at the sight of the buff elf, with his dyed blue hair slicked back nicely and his silver-blue eyes scanning the room as he entered the room with his partner.

“Behave.”, Lea hissed quietly, but we both knew that Kandomere heard every word we would exchange from now on, even if he would be five rooms apart from us.

He was the personification of my archenemy. The second I laid eyes on his silver gorget, etched with the sentence “Elves above all. Above all elves.” in Övüsi, the elvish language, I decided to hate him with a burning passion.

And after a heated debate in a team meeting around a year ago, where it wouldn’t have taken much for us to strangle one another to death, our human partners decided to keep us separated by all costs. And it worked until now.

I didn’t came around to notice how he clenched his strong jaw as his piercing eyes landed on me, heard his heartbeat quickening and he let out a deep breath.

“Can’t he breath even louder.”

“[Y/N]!”, my partner hissed again, this time a bit more aggressive, her eyes dancing between me and the two arrivals and I could swear I noticed a pleading look on Montehughs face directed at Lea.

“Why don’t we go to the archives? Decoding some ancient languages? What do you say, [Y/N]?”

“No.”

“Well, I could go for something small to eat, Kandomere.”, I heard Montehughs booming voice, looking around the room casually before glancing at his partner, who was striding through the room in my direction.

“Then go.”, he said callous, passing Lea and my desk with stone cold features before I could hear the chair of the desk right behind mine being pulled back. So that’s his first move, I thought to myself and decided to slurp on my coffee rather unladylike.

I felt his death glare literally on the back of my head, but at this very moment, I couldn’t care less. Instead, I had to hold back myself from laughing about Lea and Montehugh, who were unable to cope with their (half-) elvish partners.

Montehugh, who still stood close to the elevator, walked the invisible path Kandomere previously moved on, but he came to halt right next to Lea and myself.

“Long time no see... So, how is it going?”

“Well, it’s always the same, Ulysses.”

“Ulysses?”, I blurred out with a raised eyebrow, watching the two humans with an answer demanding look in the eyes and judging the of Kandomeres sharp breath we were sitting in the same boat.

“That’s his name.”

“I know, but since when are we addressing each other by first name?”

He’s with the enemy, I thought to myself, as I tried my best not to let that thought become visible on my facial features.

“I have friends beside you, [Y/N].”

“Friends?”, this time, it was Kandomeres sonorous voice filling the air as he rose his voice and I slid back while remaining on the chair to be able to look at him and the two human.

“Since we can’t bring the two of you to team meetings without starting the apocalypse, we started talking during the breaks and stuff.”, Montehugh said in defense, crossing his arms in front of his chest while Lea slipped down from the desk to stand next to him.

“Oh really?”, Kandomere and I said at the same time, quickly glancing at one another before turning our attention back to our partners.

"You both are behaving ridiculous. I mean, look at you.”

“She’s right. You know what, Lea and I are getting some supper and you guys can burn down this place if necessary, but don’t get us involved anymore.”, and with that being said, Montehugh and Lea turned their backs on us and headed straight for the elevator and just a blink of the eye later, they were gone behind metallic doors.

“That’s your fault.”, Kandomere said in a low growl, interlocking his hands in front of his face while staring at me with arched eyebrows.

“My fault?”, I asked him outraged, placing a hand on my chest as I swirled around to face him. He remained silently, his silver-blue eyes staring me down without blinking.

“This is hardly my fault. You”

“I have done nothing.”

“Of course. How could I forget that our godlike Kandomere isn’t able to do anything wrong. Elves above all. Above all elves. Right!”, I yelled at him and both of us rose to our feet, only a desk kept us apart from one another.

At first, there was pure rage shown on his face, but with every heavy breath that he exhaled, his strong features began to soften.

“So this what it was all about the entire time?”, Kandomere asked me calmly, tilting his head while he scanned my features for any sign if he found the final clue to solve a case that caused him a lot of headaches.

Unwittingly, I backed away a small step, meeting the desk I said behind for the last two hours with my backside while my full attention rested on the elf in front of me.

“What are you talking about?”, I muttered under my breath and felt awed by the sudden change of his demeanor as I watched Kandomere pointing at his silver gorget, his piercing light eyes locked with mine.

“You hate me because of a piece of jewelry?”

“I hate you for everything this piece of jewelry stands for.”, I told him honestly and I could tell by the look on his face what he was thinking at this very moment. That I was sounding just like my mother.

“I have nothing against other races.”

“But?”

“But I think most need supervision.”

“By elves?”, I wasn’t beating around the bush, but neither was Kandomere, and I crossed my arms in front of my chest while he walked around the desk, now standing an arm-length apart from me as he leaned against the desk.

“Yes.”

I snorted in respond, shaking my head in disbelief about his dusty, old fashioned views. Sadly, this view was shared by most of those elitist pure-blooded elves. An awkward silence took a firm grip of us, mentally going through the usual better and worse reasons to believe in each of our views.

Those debates were held millions of times, there was no good reason for the two of us to start it on our own. Nothing new would come out of it. Everything that someone could say on that topic was already said by older, more wiser elves then us.

“But that doesn’t mean that I hold any resentment towards you.”, Kandomere said after a long pause, slowly coming closer to me in small, graceful steps. I bit my lower lip, avoiding his gaze for a split second before looking back up to meet his eyes.

“I find it hard to belief.”

“Really?”

“Really.”, we exchanged our words quickly, and he came to stop right in front of me, the tip of his expensive designer shoes touching mine softly. He smelled like smoke of an open fire mixed with the scent of leather and roses. It left me wondering for a moment if there was someone waiting for him at home, but that thought left my racing mind as quickly as it entered.

“Then, would you allow me to prove you that my words are honest? All I want is a chance and time.”, he spoke calmly, looking down at me through half closed eyes.

“I have to think about it.”, I whispered, flinching away from him before I grabbed my jacket, which rested on the back of my chair before I stride towards the closed elevator.

I felt his eyes burning in the back of my head with every step I came closer to my escape, his smell still etched into my mind and the sonorous sound of his voice echoing in my head.

I needed a clear head, and here, with him, I wouldn’t be able to get what the back of my head demanded. That’s at least what I told myself as I waited for the elevator to show up, feeling like it’s taking longer then usual for it to show up on our floor.

With a loud ping, the door glided to one side and I quickly entered the small room to press the button for the ground floor. Turning around on the spot, my eyes landed on Kandomere one last time before the doors closed automatically.

The silver-blue orbs of his were pleading me to stay, to come back to him and sit down on the some chairs, talking about this and that and making first steps on getting to know one another. I lowered my head, avoiding his gaze as the door closed the engine of the elevator starting to lower the cabin to it’s destination.

(2184 Words)

[sellyoursoulforagoodfic]

JKR 3: BRC 2

Part 3 of my Joker x reader series, Bruce Wayne x reader

Word Count: 1593

Summary: Bruce Wayne, is this a date?

Note: Just a little something to entertain our boredom during the apocalypse 

It hadn’t escaped your notice that when Wayne told you to meet him at his penthouse he hadn’t given you the address, and it may come as a surprise to him, but you didn’t stalk him just because you knew he liked to dress up as a flying rodent at night. Like, it wasn’t hard to figure out where he lived, but you didn’t like the implication. The ribbing you’d taken from J about dressing in sweats as you were preparing to leave didn’t help better the mood you’d been put in by that assumption, either.

Upon arriving, you were quickly ushered around by his (delightfully honest about his employer) butler, Alfred. “He’s told me about you, Miss,” he informed you casually as you approached an elevator.

“Oh? Nothing good, I hope?” Your eyebrow was raised as you looked pointedly at him.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” he chuckled. “No, he told me what it is you do for a living, and that you know about his nightlife.”

Well, that doesn’t sound like he’s about to kill me . . . “Ooh, is this the shovel talk?” You channeled the Joker’s teasing voice to distract from your sudden nervousness. The elderly man didn’t look like he’d put up much of a fight, but you expected there was more to him than meets the eye. “Been a while since I”ve gotten one of those.”

“Partially, yes, but it’s also a warning. Master Wayne may like you, but I know you’ve still been seeing the Joker.”

You froze mid-step.

“And I know you’ve been keeping him somewhat under control, inadvertently keeping them apart. Come along, dear; you have to get ready. Anyway,” he resumed once you were mobile again, “your choice of company will remain our little secret because of that.”

“I hope you realize that I can’t keep him laying low forever.” Well, relatively low, anyway. He’s still being a bit of a menace to the general public.

“Of course. When he spirals out of control again, consider my inaction as a thank you for trying. Though, in that situation I would ask that you not get caught in the crossfire; I doubt either of them would walk out whole if something happens to you.”

“I’ll do my job. Nothing less.”

“Fair enough.” His sigh, however, spoke volumes about his opinion on that one.

“But I do feel like  I should point out that Mr. Wayne and I don’t exactly get along,” you stated as the two of you finally exited the elevator on what you assumed was the floor you were supposed to be on.

“I’d argue that we don’t know each other well enough to know that,” said the man in question as he lounged in a chair. He was dressed in the same outfit as earlier, the casual one that made your eyes roam his body for a lingering second., “and you should probably call me Bruce since you’re going as my date.”

You crossed your arms. “The first time we met, you broke into my apartment and threatened me.” Good looks aside, that was still a line that he’d crossed that you weren’t particularly happy about. “Pardon if that didn’t exactly endear me to your boyish charms.”

“I prefer roguish,” he grinned, somehow knowing that you weren’t truly angry about the matter, “but that was just business. I had to make sure you wouldn’t talk. Clearly, that isn’t a problem since here we both are months later. Now, I’d like to get to know you better personally.”

Your eyes narrowed as you read something new between those lines, but you kept quiet for now. “Then you should probably stop breaking into my apartment, Brucy.”

“Literally twice.”

“One of those was while I was in my underwear, so it counts as at least two.”

“Master Wayne!” 

“She was wearing a shirt!”

“That wasn't mine! And I had a guy in the literal next room over!” You were laughing even as you protested. Maybe all that time with J is fucking with me after all. But then again, life had been a bit strange ever since you came to Gotham, and flirting with a man that broke into your home just to talk didn’t seem that strange anymore. Maybe it’s just living in this city.

“Alright!” Bruce was laughing, too. “I’ll knock or call from now on.”

Part of you couldn’t help but wonder how this admittedly cute interaction would be going if he knew just who the other man was.

“Come on,” Bruce called your attention back to him. “I’ll show you where you’ll get ready.”

Alfred took that as a dismissal and said, “I’ll go prepare the car, sir. Do keep in touch after tonight, Miss; Bruce could use another good influence.” He was gone before you could really register that last statement.

You stared at Bruce in redirected confusion. “He said he knew about my job, and there he is, calling me a good influence? How the fuck does that work?”

“He thinks I need to loosen up, and while we don’t like your methods, we respect your code. You have a sense of honor Gotham lacks most of the time.”

“So basically I don’t have to worry about the Bat coming after me until the more dangerous criminals are off the streets?”

“Well, I’m hoping I can change your evil ways.”

“Aaaand that leads us into our next point,” you waved one finger in the air as you spun around on your heel to lean back on the door frame the pair of you stopped in front of to look at him. “If we’re doing . . . whatever this,” you gestured between you, “whole thing is, you can’t do the whole possessive/overprotective thing.”

“What do you mean?” Again, you were annoyed by how attractive he looked doing something as simple as scrunching his eyebrows.

“I know how it was with Rachel, Bruce. You jumped out a building for her. If we are going to be doing literally anything that’s not me working for you, you have to promise to avoid doing shit like that no matter what happens.”

You could see his jaw clench; whether it was at the mention of his old love (and her subsequent death) or at your insistence in this matter specifically, you weren’t sure. “If you know about Rachel, you know I’m not good at . . . what you want.”

“And unlike her, I can take care of myself,” you argued. Some part of your mind was screaming somewhere in the back of your head, What the fuck are you doing?! You don’t know this guy! You’re being too serious too fast! but this conversation needed to be had promptly. Things could only go badly if it wasn’t. You looked him dead in the eye when you said, “I will always have things you can’t know about; there will always be secrets between us on both sides. I’m being open to this, but you need to understand where my boundaries are. I just want you to respect me and my privacy.”

He nodded seriously. “I can do that.” There was a pause. “It probably won’t be smooth sailing all the time, though.”

“As long as we can talk this calmly about the problem, that’s fine.” You hesitated this time. “And as a last thing, I need you to be honest with me about jobs involving me. Always. I can promise to try and stay out of your way if we’re on opposite sides; hurting each other wouldn’t exactly be conducive to . . . whatever we’re going to be to each other.”

“Agreed.”

“And I refuse to be hired by you.”

His smirk came back the tiniest bit. “Oh?”

“Personal life mixing with an employer is always stupid, and you know it.” You decided to bring up the point you’d realized not long before. “For instance, this isn’t a job tonight, is it? You just paid me to be your date as an incentive.”

He held up both hands in mock surrender. “Busted.”

“Keep the other half of your payment, then. If you want me to come to things like this, all you have to do is ask. I’m a mercenary, not an escort.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“And, just to be clear--”

“Full of stipulations, aren’t you?”

“I like to know exactly where I stand with people. Believe me, Jack and I had the same conversation.” You didn’t worry about using Joker’s real name since it was so common, and you couldn’t keep calling him ‘the other guy’ forever. Especially since Bruce was technically the other guy.

“And is he . . . okay with you doing this with me?”

“We have a different kind of relationship,” you handwaved verbally, “but yes. Which leads me into my last question for the time being: Is this a date?”

“If you’re alright with that, I’d like it to be.”

“Then it is. Me on a date with a billionaire; I’ve got friends that would shit themselves at that one. I assume you’re okay with me having another guy based on that?”

“‘Last question’, huh?” he teased. “Yes, I’m alright with it.”

You nodded, mostly to yourself, and chose to ignore the jab. “Alright, Bruce. Leave me alone so I can get ready in peace.”

A kiss was suddenly pressed to your cheek. “See you soon.”

All you could really think about as you slunk into the obscenely nice bathroom was how J was right . . . somehow. For some reason his archenemy was into you despite your job . . . and you were more than a little okay with that.