#aos five year mission on my mind all the time

[swedenis-h]

(X)

[kirk-spock-fics]

hello! I'm looking for a fic that I read but have since been unable to find. It's sort of an arranged marriage fic. Spock needs to marry Jim to stay on board the enterprise for some reason, but the thing I remember most is Spock taking his marital duties very seriously and he would give Jim a flower each day (or often). I would really appreciate any help in finding this fic, it's so good! Thanks!

Hello!

The only fic I could find that matched your description of Spock bringing Jim flowers often is

Vulcan's Most Eligible Bachelor by museaway

mature aos, kirk/spock, kirk/spock prime victorian vulcans, courtship, language of flowers, love letters, marriage proposals words: 30,146 'Jim wasn't the one who saved Vulcan, but he's the one on a transport right now for a month-long stay as an honored guest. What he doesn't realize is they're all going to try and court him…including his first officer.'

It's not quite an arranged marriage or fake marriage fic but it's the closest I could find that included the part about flowers.

If anyone knows which fic this is, please share it in the comments or in an ask/submission!

Here are some other fics where Jim and Spock have to fake a marriage/relationship so they can stay together on the Enterprise:

My Love Is Bigger Than Your Love by gunstreet

explicit tos, kirk/spock fake marriage, marriage of convenience, jealous kirk, love confessions, first kiss, slash words: 29,065 'When Spock's mother sends him a message with a list of suitors he must choose from in short order lest he be barred from returning to his homeworld, his only alternative is to bring his own chosen spouse to Vulcan for his parents to meet for themselves. Spock not actually having a spouse is hardly a problem in Jim's mind. However, his brilliant plan has the potential to backfire in ways Jim could easily have predicted… and ways he could not have.'

Verisimilitude by CateAdams

explicit CW: graphic depictions of violence tos, mirror!kirk/mirror!spock, mirror universe marriage of convenience, action/adventure, romance, slash words: 15,527 'A new directive from the Imperial Fleet requires all officers of command rank to enter into legal marriage. On the ISS Enterprise, the order’s purpose is obvious: to allow political operatives to gain influence within the lucrative exploits of the flagship and divert more profits and power to the Admiralty. As the deadline approaches, the captain and first officer of the Enterprise devise an unlikely solution that forces a deeply personal reckoning.'

a sequence that you never learned by annataylor

explicit TW: implied childhood sexual abuse aos, kirk/spock kid fic, fake marriage, getting together, first time words: 64,624 'When Jim gets it in his head to adopt an eight year old Vulcan, Spock presents a logical solution to the issue of Jim's humanity: marriage to a Vulcan citizen.'

the warp and weft of your being by tardigradeschool

teen CW: past implied abuse aos, kirk/spock fake marriage, sharing a bed, hurt/comfort, crew as family, mutual pining words: 7,701 'When getting legally married to Spock is the only way to keep him on the ship, Jim is more than willing to do so. (In fact, upon reflection, it turns out that there are very few things he wouldn't do for Spock.)'

You Could Call It Love by lurikko

mature tos, kirk/spock, post-canon getting together, fake/pretend marriage, slow burn, unresolved sexual tension words: 45,791 'If marrying Spock is what it’s going to take to get them both back on Enterprise for another five-year mission, then Jim Kirk damn well is going to marry Spock.'

Nature of the Bond by jadztone

explicit tos movies, kirk/spock fake/pretend relationship, temporary amnesia, misunderstandings, mutual pining, sharing a bed, friends to lovers, old married spirk, pon farr, slash words: 32,429 'Just before they are to head back to Earth after the fal-tor-pan, Spock detects that he has a bond with Jim. Still having gaps in his memory, he attempts to analyze the nature of the bond. Spock concludes that he and Jim are bondmates, and says as much in front of Starfleet brass. Jim is shocked, but goes along with it out of fear that Starfleet would declare Spock unfit for duty. After telling Spock the truth, they agree to continue letting Starfleet believe that their bond is romantic in nature, while both privately wish that it was.'

[affixjoy]

I’ve read a few fics lately with some great timey wimey premises so if that’s your jam you might also enjoy them!

If I missed your fav please share in the comments! I love this sort of thing and will always want to read more.

Some Version Of You by @ncc1701ohno

Summary: Bones is stuck in a time loop and stuck in his room. With Jim. He's forced to admit how intense this thing between them has gotten, how much he feels for Jim, even as he's been falling in love with Spock.

Does what happens in a time loop stay in a time loop?

Thoughts: I’m a sucker for time loops and this is just such a great short look at it with academy era McKirk.

Highlights: the angst! The longing! THE END!

It Ends Or It Doesn’t by @muirmarie

Summary: McCoy dies, and Kirk breaks his hand on a wall. Kirk dies to save McCoy, and McCoy breaks his hand on Spock's face for not stopping him. Spock dies, and he doesn't have to see what happens next, because the day resets. The day keeps resetting. McCoy keeps dying.

Thoughts: these self sacrificing idiots just love each other so much and I love THEM!

Highlights: there’s a loop towards the end where they accept what is happening and it’s probably my favorite part of this fic.

Grief As A Four Dimensional Figure by @jennelikejennay (moreta1848)

Summary: "One might arguably say it is not fully logical to care whether I cannot return to Vulcan because it no longer exists or because it is separated from me permanently in five-dimensional space.”

“No, I think I get it,” said Jim. “Like, I haven’t gone back to the old house in Iowa in years, but I do like knowing it’s there. If my mom sold it and it got knocked down, it would make a difference to me.”

The ambassador nodded. “Likewise, even in four-dimensional space, we are separated from the things we have lost only by distance—by the fact that we cannot easily travel along the timeline.” He marked out a section of his timeline, then a dot further back in the bottom timeline—Jim’s timeline. “My marriage is here. I am here, in a different timeline and at a different time. But my marriage exists. It is a figure in four-dimensional space which will continue to exist, in that sense, eternally. So long as the timeline does not collapse, it is a permanent part of history. So although I do not have my spouse with me, I know that he existed. That somewhere, in a time and a dimension I cannot go, we are meeting for the first time. That somewhere, I am asleep in his arms.”

Thoughts: I rarely like aos as much as tos fics, but this one worked so so well for me.

Highlights: every reference to the one with the whales, all the feelings about Amanda, all of Spirk’s big feelings about each other.

Way From Within by @gunstreet and @justveeing

Summary: Jim and Spock are assigned together for a rescue mission, and in the exhilarating aftermath, their attraction to each other comes bubbling to the surface. But the next day Spock is surprisingly distant, and the rest of the morning starts to seem eerily familiar to Jim...

Written by gunstreet and illustrated by lorvee, this is a K/S timeloop story in the vein of Palm Springs or Groundhog Day.

Thoughts: pretty sure we all collectively lost our minds about this one when it came out a few months ago, but if you haven’t read it yet it is GREAT. All the fun time loop tropes I love with Kirk and Spock at the center.

Highlights: the art is so good! I love seeing these scenes illustrated!

Happy reading everyone! 🖖

[dira333]

Oh Captain my Captain - Star Trek AOS Gen Fic

The linen of your bed is cool on your skin as you lie awake. Is it really only one week left until you leave the Enterprise behind and with her all the friends you’ve made?

You can’t believe you’re really doing this.

As sleep is evading you, you slip out of bed and pull a small box out of your cupboard, spilling its content on your desk. Pictures, small notes you’ve taken, as well as the silly little doodles you’ve always liked to create.

You get to work just as eager as one does who’s tasted the first, addicting spark of creativity, in your dimly lit room in the early hours of Gamma Shift.

You sort everything by person until your eyes linger on a picture you’ve forgotten you own and you pick it up.

It shows you and your favorite professor, his arm slung around your shoulders as you help him stand. Christopher Pike, the man whose speeches have fueled your desire to be what you are today.

Without intending to, your mind slips back into the past.

“I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you!” You yell, chasing after him on one of the long hallways of your home.

“And I’m trying to subtly avoid it!” he answers with a snark, moving his wheelchair away from you.

“Uncle Chris!” You demand his attention and he stops with a sigh, knowing full well that he can’t get away from you when you start using the family bonds on him.

“I’ll stick to my word,” he threatens as you step in front of him, arms crossed over your chest.

“What word?” You ask, “When I was seven years old you saw my desire to go to Starfleet. Your stories made me have that desire in the first place. And you promised me, several times, that you would teach me everything you know when it was time for me to learn.”

“But-”

“No buts,” you disagree stubbornly, “You promised. I know you’re missing the Enterprise but you’re my favorite uncle and my best professor, you can’t just ask me to drop out of Starfleet Academy just because some douchebag decided to attack the Fleet! That’s a risk we live with every day.”

“You’re my niece! You shouldn’t have to live with that.”

You look down at him, less angry but still as determined.

“I will have to live with that either way, but your experience can help me survive it.”

You turn around and walk away, knowing he will need his time to think about it. It only takes him five seconds, five steps of you down the hallway.

“Wait. You’re right.”

You heave a sigh and look down at the picture. Khan’s attack has taken an even greater toll on his health and you can’t be thankful enough for him to be still alive. With a smile you scan the picture and type a letter to him, thanking him for the role he’s played in your life.

You move through the pictures, taking each one up to look closer at it and let your mind wander to memories you cherish, moments you want to remind them again, now that you leave.

-

You’re just about to take a seat at the navigator’s desk on the bridge as a bright voice pipes up behind you.

“Did you know that the role of the navigator was invented in Russia?”

“What?” You turn around to find a curly haired boy standing behind you, grinning at you.

“It was Toporov Marka Igorevich, who-”

“You’re lying.” You interrupt him and he stops short, his grin faltering.

“I don’t.”

“You do.”

“I don’t.”

“You do.”

“Are you clinically insane or incredibly annoying?” He asks, only half joking.

“I don’t know, probably both.” You reply and he laughs out loud.

“Good to know, but I didn’t lie. Now move over, this is my seat.”

“Not for long, Mister,” you tell him and slip out of the chair, patting his shoulder, “But I will let you have it as soon as the Captain’s chair is mine. My name is Y/N, better remember it.”

“Pavel,” he shakes your hand, “And don’t worry, I won’t forget you.”

-

“I am sorry, but you are not allowed to go onto this away mission.” A woman holds you back.

You take a long look at her, before smiling.

“Lieutenant Uhura, right?”

“Affirmative. But you knowing my name does not change anything about that decision.”

You squint at her. “And who made that decision?”

“As far as I know I Capt- Mr. Pike asked Captain Kirk to withhold further missions.”

“Until when?”

“I don’t have any information about that.”

You take a closer look at her face, before breathing out.

“You don’t agree with either of them?”

“No, I don’t,” Lieutenant Uhura answers you, “I have seen your record and I trust in Captain Kirk’s decisions. If he says you’re suited for a mission, you are suited for a mission. If you’re not, you’re not.”

“But Uncle Chris…”

“Mr. Pike is clearly worried, now that he’s not able to stay with you.”

“Well,” you sigh, “I’m sure there’s no use in arguing about this mission now.”

“Sadly not, no.”

You nod to yourself and to her as you make a decision, stepping back.

“Excuse me. I have to go make a scene.”

She smiles when you leave.

-

“I feel like I’m being stabbed.” You groan as you lie on the dirty floor of the cave you’re hiding in.

“How do you even know what it feels like to be stabbed?” Lieutenant Sulu asks, peering out into the darkness.

“Excuse you, I have a very active imagination!”

“Excuse you, you said you weren’t injured!” He looks back at you and you think you can see the worry in his eyes.

You laugh, unamused. “I’m not injured, you idiot. I have my period.”

Sulu sighs, turning back towards the opening. “Why did you insist on going on this mission then? And why do you discuss your period with me anyway? Is it because I’m-”

“It’s because you’re there and you’re breathing. I would discuss my period with everyone present that’s a living being, thank you very much.”

You can hear him laugh and turn a bit to throw your supply kit at him. He catches it easily.

“Get on your feet, we’re moving. If you get us caught with you moaning in pain, I will bite you.”

“Wow, what a threat,” you tease him, pulling yourself up. Despite the pain, you know how to focus on what’s important.

The priority right now? Get to the camp. Preferably alive.

-

The first time you meet Nurse Chapel, it’s in a camp on a planet, ready to evacuate.

She’s blond, she’s fierce and she’s drenched in blood.

“All that blood looks good on you. It really brings out your eyes,” you tell her, right when she turns around to look at the two of you.

Sulu’s elbow rams your ribs, but it’s too late, the words have slipped out already.

Christine just laughs and her first reaction foreshadows every further impression you get from her. She laughs at your jokes, she takes you seriously when you need to be taken for real and she manages to push you to the limits you’ve thought you had.

You put the picture of her down on the other side of the table, typing a message into your PADD.

“Dear Christine, as much as I dread the time here running out, I can’t wait to meet you again. How lucky I am, to get this chance, to be lucky like this. I get to be a Captain and have you as my head nurse. Also, McCoy wanted me to tell you that he’s never had a better nurse than you. I do believe he never meant anything more serious than this in his life. Not that it surprised me. I know how great you are.”

-

You watch Keenser pour a thick, bright yellow liquid into a glass before he drops three green seeds into it and waits until they have dissolved. Whatever he’s mixing, you can’t pronounce neither its name nor its ingredients, but everything he uses is either brightly colored, smells intoxicating or looks like something taken out of the imagination of a small child.

Watching him work on that drink is the best show you’ve seen for a long time.

His last ingredient smells just plain disgusting.

“Is that-?” You ask, afraid to think about what it looks like. Something like a liquid but it looks like it’s moving as if it is alive. You’re not sure, but its color makes you want to retch, at least until he drops it in the drink, stirs and pushes it towards you.

“That’s disgusting,” you tell him. He shrugs and pushes the glass the tiniest bit further in your direction.

You sigh and take the drink, sniffing it. It doesn’t smell bad, but the sight of that last ingredient…

Keenser glares at you and you pull a face and take a few large gulps, downing almost half of its content in one go.

“That’s disgusting,” You tell him, “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

He shrugs again, urging you to drink the rest of your glass.

“I am way too sober for this.” Scotty groans right beside you, staring at the glass you still have in hand.

“You’re not sober,” you remind him, “You and me, we’ve got the hangover of our lives and Keenser is trying to cure it.”

“Oh,” Scotty says as if he has just realized that now, “I totally forgot.”

“You forgot you had a hangover?” You laugh but stop when the pain in your head makes you realize what a bad decision that had been.

“No, I forgot I already woke up,” he groans, slumping on the table, “This feels like a nightmare.”

Keenser pulls a bottle out of his pocket and pushes it across the table into Scotty’s hand.

You clink your glass against it before raising it to your lips.

“May we keep our promise and never drink Sinar Whisky again.”

“Aye!”

-

“God, ‘dying is easy’ was the biggest lie ever. I’m exhausted.” Jim bemoans from his bed.

You roll your eyes and wring out the cloth before you bring it back to his forehead to cool down his fever.

“You’re not dying,” you tell him, “You’ve just got the flu.”

“I’m burning up, my throat-” he coughs and rasps to emphasize his point, “hurts, I can hardly breathe and there’s no medicine available.”

“We have plenty of medicine, Captain,” you remind him, “Now stop whining or I will not ask Doctor McCoy to get off his shore leave earlier to take care of you.”

“Did you just insult your Captain?” Jim asks and you roll your eyes.

“You’re dying but your hearing is just fine. How about you keep in mind that this is shore leave, Uncle Chris invited you and I have to use my vacation time to look after you.”

“You’re an angel?”

“That sounds way better,” you smile at him and tuck the blanket around him.

A week later you’re back on the Enterprise and sick yourself.

Not that you don’t try to downplay it.

But when you manage to sneeze all over your monitor during your shift on the bridge, it’s hard to hide.

“Are you feeling unwell, Lieutenant Y/N?” Spock asks after you’ve sent everyone a glare that was supposed to stop them from asking. It didn’t stop him.

“I’m fine.” You growl.

“You do not look fine.” He disagrees.

“Then stop looking.” You snap back and turn away from him to wipe the snot off your monitor. It’s gross but it would be grosser to leave it where it is.

“You are to report to med-bay immediately.”

“It’s just a cold,” you disagree, shooting a glare back at him, cursing the fact that Jim has to be in a meeting with Scotty right this moment. He would let you stay, if only for the reason that he got you sick in the first place. But Spock is not just a rule-obsessed Vulcan, but a very stubborn one too.

“You could infect everyone else on the bridge and a common cold, as you call it, could be fatal to co-workers of other species,” Spock disagrees again, “You are to report to med-bay right now, or I’ll have to force you to.”

You roll your eyes and get up, “Alright, fine, I’m going.”

In the end, it’s not his authority who makes you follow his orders but the risk of infecting others. Not that he will see your actions this way.

-

“Take the damn medicine!”

You regret going to med-bay the moment Doctor McCoy is trying to force something disgusting looking down your throat. You’d rather take Keenser’s hangover drinks any day.

“No, it’s gross!”

“Stop acting like you’re two and take it!” The spoon stays right in front of your mouth and you press your lips together, determined not to let that spoon through.

“You’re worse than Jim!” He groans and you open your mouth to disagree. A big mistake, as he shoves the spoon inside the moment your lips part.

You splutter and cough but there’s no use, the medicine is already sliding down your throat and you glare at the doctor.

“What was that for? That was unfair!”

“Was not! And now lay back and get well or I’ll stab you with a hypo the next time you need medicine!”

“Unfair!” You insist and he gives your shoulder a shove as you stick your tongue out at him.

You halt in your memories, thinking back at the time spent with Dr. McCoy. It had not always been fun, but there had never been a second where you had doubted he had meant well.

“I should have been you a better patient”, you write into the letter directed at him, “I should have taken the medicine and not cursed as much when you had to give me a hypo. I can’t promise to be better, as I don’t know what cruel CMO I will get on my own ship, but I promise to miss you.”

-

Finally, the day arrives where you leave, your new ship coming close enough to pick you up, taking you to earth where the command will be given you officially.

You cry, you sniff, you smear your tears in your friend’s uniforms, but eventually, you step onto the transporter PADD and wave one last time in the direction of your friends before the golden light hides them from your eyes.

When you can see again, you look into the eyes of your new first officer, who’s smiling back at you.

“Wipe away that tears,” Carol Marcus announces, “We’ll be partying tonight and we won’t stop until anyone on this ship knows that you’re our new Captain.”

“I hate you.” You grumble back and she smirks before she answers. “Why? I’m lovely.”

You hit her, gently, on the right shoulder. “You know why.”

“Oh, because I did not let you stay sad? I booked some time for you tomorrow evening, you can be sad then.”

You hit her again and she laughs and slings her arm around your shoulders.

“No violence, Captain!”

-

You eventually know you have found a new home on this new ship when the door of your ready room opens and a familiar face appears.

“Carol Marcus told me you’re feeling sad.”

“Jaylah!” You jump out of your seat to hug you, “I’m so glad to see you again.”

“But you knew you would see me! We spoke about me already being here.”

“I know, I know, it’s just a figure of speech, I was missing you, you know-”

“Do you need tea?” Jaylah asks and you stop to look at her.

“What?”

“Montgomery Scotty used to say that tea cures everything. So we should begin with tea.”

“I’m not sick.”

“But-”

“No but, no tea. I know you are worried about me, but if you try to feed me soup, or give me any more blankets I am going to slap you.”

“But I didn’t give you a blanket in the first place?” Jaylah looks just as out of place as you’ve felt before she’s barged into the room.

You laugh. “I’m sorry. I think I just have to get used to this, is all.”

“I have a remedy to that. Carol Marcus has planned a party for you anyway.”

[tigereyes45]

AOS mckirk + 43? ❤️

Prompt 43 was, "Why aren't you eating?" You can find the list of prompts here. I originally wrote a version of this request where it's Jim not eating, but then my mind kept saying, but what if it was McCoy. So I did that. XD There's going to be a second part to this where Jim is the one not eating. You can also read the story on AO3 here:

Summary:

It's easy to push aside eating in favor of finishing a task at hand. Everyone needs reminders sometimes.

Start:

When Jim Kirk steps into McCoy's private office space, there's a swagger that's ever-present in his moves. A self-confidence that's more act than reality. Leonard has enough kindness to keep from announcing the fact. The doctor lowers a PADD that had been claiming his ever-dissipating attention, for the last hour and a half.

"Nurse Chapel tells me you haven't been eating." The doctor drops his PADD onto his desk as if he couldn't be bothered to read it for another moment.

“She told you.” McCoy corrects before rolling his eyes. It’s official. No more late-night lab tests with Spock. The vulcan’s beginning to rub off on him. Leonard shakes his head. His fingers impatiently tap against the PADD’s screen. "Christine needs to learn how to keep information to herself." Jim’s foot began to subconsciously tap along with Bones’ fingers. McCoy huffs and crosses his arms. "It's unprofessional."

"She worries about you Bones." Kirk leans against the doctor's desk. A knowing smile on his face. "I worry about you."

That’s obvious. Despite his role as captain, Jim has never been able to hide his favoritism. He’s kept those who he first encountered on the ship closer than most others. Their history throughout the academy resulted in McCoy being allowed closer than most. Even more so than the bridge crew.

"I don't need you worrying over me." Bones insists. How many times have they had a conversation like this? With another huff, he stands up. "And leave Christine alone. She's a rather skilled nurse. I'd hate to lose her. Again." That last word came out with a little more bite than he intended.

"I'll keep that in mind."

There's so much work to do. Wounds to heal, chests waiting to be sewn up, check-ups, vaccinations, physical therapies to watch, paperwork to sign off on, newly released research to catch up on, and then review. All before they head off to start this new five-year mission. The work never ends, and damn it! He's a doctor. If anyone knows how far and long their body can go, it's him. No puffed-up captain is going to tell him otherwise.

"Bones," Jim's soft call is followed by a hand clapping around McCoy's shoulder. Leonard shrugs the handoff. Concern fills Jim's face. His usual smirk now hangs awkwardly open. No doubt the gears are turning in that quick mind. Nimble as a fox. That's what his father would’ve called Jim.

If they ever had the chance to meet.

"I just want to make sure you keep some meat on you." Jim jokes, rounding on McCoy. He folds his arms over his chest and offers a light smile. Even that small smile would be enough to brighten up most of McCoy's days. Not now though. There’s no time. He’s due for a surgery in about eight hours. Eight hours that’ll pass in a blink of an eye if he’s not careful.

"I've got work to do Jim." Leonard tries to step around. 

Jim swiftly sways and weaves to keep in his way. "Come on Bones. Join me for lunch."

"I can't."

"Yes, you can.” Jim’s the one rolling his eyes now. “Take a break.” He throws a hand out, leaning in the doorway. Thoroughly blocking McCoy’s only way out. “Captain's orders." He adds with a wink.

"I said I can't." It’s not that he doesn’t want to, but there’s too much on the scales. He has to keep going just to keep them balanced. Otherwise, Jim will be short on crew, and missing talented people. Individuals that may keep him alive. Out there in the vast emptiness, they’ll only have each other to count on. Starfleet won’t be able to help if they get into trouble. They can’t have come so far for McCoy to make a mistake. Not now. Not again.

McCoy furrows his brows and fights back the memories threatening to take his attention. Deep down Leonard knows why he’s doing this. Why it has become so easy to push his own needs aside and focus on all the lives on board. 

Part of it is his training. Doctors of all kinds learn early on in school how to push down the biological signs of hunger and stress. When you have lab results due in the morning, but the tests haven’t run their full course yet, and midterms are around the corner, while professor after professor is encouraging you to start thinking about your thesis work now before you even manage to get out of undergrad, well stress becomes seconded nature. Exhaustion, hunger pangs, and increased anxiety that verges on panic attacks, all get swept under the rug, and suppressed until a body can’t go on anymore. By the time they get to medical school most students have bodies that are simultaneously, in a horrendous state, yet conditioned to work through it. They keep to themselves. Reminding himself with post-its, handwritten notes scrawled in the empty spaces of his books, and phone alerts to drink water, eat food, and take five minutes to close his eyes before pushing on. Always aware of the fact of the hypocrisy between the instructions he gives to patients on how to care for themselves as he works himself to the bone.

Leonard’s trained not to share his own problems. To ignore his own needs, but even that can only go so far. Deep down there’s more to it. A fear deeper than the grief that washes over him as he loses a patient. Something that motivates him more than any fear he experienced when in school or out in space.

He can’t lose Jim again.

"And I said you can." Jim opens up his arms, talking with his hands. "You're not much help to anyone if you're all skin and bones."

The timing had been more. Leonard knows that’s not what James was saying. He wasn’t invalidating the fear, but rationality wasn’t home today. "Damn it Jim, I said no!" McCoy’s hand goes flying past Jim, towards the door’s control. Fingers catch on the bottom of Jim’s long sleeve as his palm smacks the buttons.

It’s painful how ingrained that loss had become in his life. Terrifying how the mere thought of it sends his mind spiraling as if lost to a deep, powerful vortex that sucks everything else away.

"Hey!" Jim pushes a hand against Leonard's chest. "Watch the hand, McCoy."

McCoy pulls his hand back. His fingers were shaking. With a deep sigh Leonard folds them in. Doing his best to calm his racing nerves the doctor closes his eyes. Doing his best stern, yet calm voice Leonard says, "Just get out of here Jim. I've got lives to save, and people who need fixing." People you need.

Leonard opens his eyes slowly. The look on Jim’s face was one of determination. Better than heartbroken. McCoy can only imagine his own expression. He needs to get back to work.

“Nurse Chapel.” Christine appears right behind him, as if waiting for Jim’s call. “When is Doctor McCoy’s next scheduled appointment?”

“In eight hours sir. It’s Lieutenant Alfonse’s surgery.” An engineer skilled enough, that Scotty himself has been asking after his health since they first discovered the kidney issue.

“Does he have any pressing matters in the meantime?”

Christine doesn’t even bother pretending to look at the datapadd in her hands. “No sir?” Her eyes stare McCoy down.

“He’s officially off shift. Call me directly if there’s an emergency.” Leonard fights back the urge to swear. Jim really isn’t going to let this drop.

“You sir?” Chapel asks, trying to get a look at the captain’s face. The man keeps his back to her, and his eyes trained on McCoy.

Jim crosses his arms. “He’ll be eating with me in my room.” A new smirk adorns his face. “Won’t you Bones?”

Sensing no room for argument McCoy agrees through gritted teeth, “I guess I will, sir.” He added that last word to make it clear that while he’s bending he’ll remember this. If Jim’s bothered by that idea, he doesn’t act like it.

Jim steps aside, finally letting Leonard pass by. Chapel steps back out of the way, heading over to the bio beds, with a polite nod of her head. Leonard steals a glance at her datapadd. It wasn’t even turned on. They planned this! Jim comes bounding after. He lightly pats Leonard’s arm, as he falls into step beside the doctor. “No be angry Bones. You’re gonna like this.”

“I like working.”

Jim playfully smacks McCoy’s chest. “No you don’t. You like fried potatoes, dumplings, and steak bites.”

That stops Leonard dead in his tracks. “What?” He turns to face Jim whose got the biggest shit-eating grin. Sickbay’s front door slides shut behind them.

Jim grabs both of McCoy’s arms, and fix the end of his short sleeves. “Like I said,” Jim leans closer practically bubbling with energy. “You’ll like it. I even used basil.”

This time Leonard couldn’t keep his face from forming a wide, disblieving smile. “You what?” Did that mean Jim actually cooked? Yeah they were still on Earth but it must’ve been out of his way to go and grab actual food from a market. McCoy’s stomach growls, voicing it’s lack of care over where the food came from, or how it was prepared. Either way he has to try it now. As if it wasn’t already being required by Jim.

A home cook meal. Literally. It shouldn’t be such an odd thought considering that the Enterprise was going to be his only home for the next five years. Leonard had expected to only eat synthesized food for it all. An actual cooked meal, made with fresh ingredients, his mouth starts to water.

The captain was already a few steps down the hall, as McCoy’s feet finally lift and start to follow. With each step bringing him a little bit closer to the promise of food, his body grows lighter. There’s still a lot of work to do. Guilt threatens to rear it’s ugly head back up, but Jim’s smile banishes the thoughts to the deepest recesses of Bones’ mind.

Sometimes it’s easy to forget to actually enjoy his time with the people he wants to save.

Another lesson trained into the practice, unfortunately.

[lenievi]

Hey so I’m curious about your feelings on bones having a daughter? It’s just something I’ve been feeling conflicted about lately. Like on one hand I think it adds an interesting layer to his character. On the other hand it just seems like something that he would feel guilty about, assuming that it’s not a close relationship, which people sort of go back and forth on since he would be pretty absent but he also just seems like such a caring and loyal person so it can be hard to imagine him just not being around on any level for his kid. I also struggle a bit with the fact that so many people write her as being so young, which isn’t a bad thing but I always imagine her as a teenager or young adult, which, depending on how long Bones has been in space and part of the fleet, would also likely impact how close they are. Like did he leave when she was a young child so they never had the opportunity to be close or did he leave when she was a bit older so they had a relationship before he left?

I'm conflicted about him having an ex-wife jahdjshfjgdjgfj

This is gonna be headcanon heavy and maybe not really what's common? idk Because the fandom expects it, I generally have him be divorced and have a daughter in TOS. In my mind, he married young and had Joanna when he was in his very early 20s (like 22yo) and was studying medicine. He wasn't ready to settle down, he wasn't able to be there for his wife or his newborn daughter, and within two years after Joanna's birth, the wife had enough and filed for divorce. That led McCoy to join the service.

So in my 'verse McCoy has never been around. He provided for his daughter, and the older he got the more he started to reach out to her, but it didn't always go well. (In my mind, Joanna is bitter and blames McCoy, especially during her teenage years.) He feels regret over his choices (and more and more the older he gets), but he's imho a career-driven man (like Kirk), and he doesn't regret his life in general. (in my hc he reconnects with Joanna after Joanna has her own daughter, and he tries to be a good grandfather)

I think it's rare for Joanna to be young in TOS-based fics (not unheard of though), but in AOS fics, she'd be young. I think it's usually assumed she was born in 2249 - that makes her 16-21 during the five-year mission in TOS. But would make her just a kid during the AOS timeline. When Kirk and McCoy met in AOS, Joanna would be 6. (But people might use different years idk) I personally don't headcanon that Joanna exists in AOS, though. The years are just all off, so I don't even hc that McCoy married the same woman. Since in TOS, at the time of him meeting Kirk in AOS, McCoy was with Nancy.

I also can't stop but think how Jim would think about his BFF going to space and leaving his young kid behind. He'd have a lot of things to say about that imho

So, even though I would occasionally prefer not to use McCoy having an ex-wife or a daughter, I created a version for myself I can get behind. It also allows me to deepen the connection between Kirk and McCoy (in TOS) because they can commiserate and bond over having kids and not knowing them. And I love to create connections between the relationship between McCoy&Joanna and Sarek&Spock, allowing McCoy to understand Sarek's position and being able to explain some things to Spock, things Spock can't see, because McCoy speaks from experience.

[nefarious-nightjar]

I hope you don't mind me reblogging this, but for the life of me I cannot get my links to work in asks. Also, I don't know how comfortable you are with certain ratings, so everything i've recommended is no higher than an M on ao3

Nevertheless, some Spock/McCoy recs you say??

The fics I have linked below the cut are some of my favourites, both to have read and to re-read when I feel I need something more than a short one-shot (as in they all have at least 10,000 words or more).

milostollbooth's "all in" is a fic that explores how, when Spock is forced to take command of the Enterprise in an emergency for an extended period of time, his relationship changes, clashes, and eventually morphs with Doctor MoCcoy's. Very well written, a engaging plot, and I found it to be very faithful to both McCoy and Spock's characters as they are in TOS.

"Damaged Goods" by andrew_lv is a wonderfully emotional gut punch of a fic. It is set after Star Trek: The Motion Picture, but before Star Trek: The Wrath of Kahn (so not much is needed in having to know the films if you have yet to see them), and shows how Spock must help McCoy cope with the remarriage of his ex-wife and how that affects his relationship with his daughter.

Swimmingwolf59's "Between Worlds" Series has got to be one of my all time favourite star trek fanfic series to date. It is an AU in which the Enterprise is on a ten-year mission instead of a five-year one, and is a collection of stories following Bones and Spock's misadventures in raising a baby Joanna onboard the Enterprise. So much love is put into how the characters are portrayed, it also takes its time to involve a lot of the bridge/enterprise crew outside of the triumvirate. When not focusing on spones, it is very much a "it takes a village to raise a kid" kind of series!

Last but not least, is Kurgara's "red-eyed stranger" This ought to be one of the first, and one of my absolute favourite, spones fics that I have read. Although it is tagged with AOS, it reads like a drama-filled TOS thriller episode (if you can remember to get past the eye colours). Overall, it's a very interesting take on a timeloop, and it makes for a great case fic!

Hope that these help in your search for some spones fics! I adore these fics (and many others) with all my worth, so feel free to give me a shout if you like them and ever want more!! :]

Spock/McCoy fic recs, please?

Just finished Star Trek and I'm hunting down some recs for Spock/McCoy (in the original series for now, eventually will get to AOS)

[jillianallen14]

Spirk fanfic rec

Some amazing Spirk fanfic to bless your dash because I’m falling in love with this shit all over again (this is like the 10th time this has happened lol):

Entering Orbit:  Jim escapes to Iowa to avoid the media frenzy following the Narada incident, but a late-night miscommunication results in Spock turning up on his front porch; rated m; 30,957 words

Papers in the Roadside:  Non-Starfleet AU. Jim owns a small bar in Chicago, keeps on picking up strays and taking care of everyone no matter how hard it makes his own life. Spock is a journalist writing feature articles for the Chicago Tribune; he depicts the world with uncanny skill, but hides more than one personal drama and is possibly under surveillance from the Vulcan royal family. They meet by accident just before their lives start to spin out of control; rated e; 49,637 words

Take Refuge in What You Know:  AU - Kirk has moved into a apartment/house and wants to get to know his neighbors. He meets his neighbor Spock, a loner who suffers from extreme agoraphobia. Kirk thinks he's beautiful enigma; rated e; 120,334 words

Listen, this is not only my favorite Star Trek fic of all time, it’s also one of my favorite fanfics in general. It’s right up there with Text Talk and The Shoebox Project from the HP fandom, which if you’ve read, you know are incredible and frankly life-changing. And this fanfic changed my life. The description the author gives doesn’t do the beauty of this fic justice. I suffer from agoraphobia and Spock’s depiction as an agoraphobic man was probably the most well-researched, sympathetic, empathetic, caring, realistic portrayal of what it’s like to be agoraphobic that I’ve ever witnessed in fiction. It made me cry like a child because I had never felt so seen and understood. This writer is incredible, and this fic is incredible. I can’t recommend it enough. It’s an AU, which I’m usually pretty wary about, but it barely even feels like an AU. It just feels like Jim and Spock. The author’s understanding of both of their characters’ is perfect, like just a spot-on portrayal of who they are. This fic genuinely helped me accept who I am and helped me understand that I am capable of & deserving of love. If you don’t read any other Star Trek fics (and you def should read more Star Trek fics because they’re amazing), then let this one be the one you read. I dare you not to read it three times in a row like I did.

Observations:  First Officer Spock comments on life aboard the Enterprise and his service under Captain James T. Kirk; rated m; 500,000+ words.

So the author of this fic actually did a thing where they made this fic into two books (similar to what The Shoebox Project authors did many years ago in the HP fandom). They don’t get any money from people buying the books; the cost is just to go towards producing the books. This fic is the equivalent of two LARGE novels. We’re talking 600 pages & up. It’s a huge fic. Now, that being said, I read it in one day. ONE DAY. It’s that good. This is another one of my all-time favorite fics, though not quite as dear to my heart as the one I listed above. It’s focused on AOS, and tbh, I forget that what happens in this book isn’t actually canon. Like it’s so well-told, it just feels like it’s now part of the timeless story of Kirk & Spock. The “professional” Star Trek writers would never be brave enough to do what this author does with Kirk and Spock, though. This fic will make you angry, will make you laugh, will make you cry. It has such a good grasp on every single character. It also shows the love between the crew of the Enterprise, which is always a treat, and it’s beautifully done in this fic. It has a sorta-enemies-to-lovers arc between Spirk and an enemies-to-close-friends arc between Spock and McCoy that is beautifully done and fleshed out. This fic is definitely a journey to go through, and I can’t recommend it enough. It’s extremely slow burn, and you will want to slap both Kirk and Spock (and McCoy) upside the head at certain points lol. 

Of Coffee Beans and Green Tea Leaves:  The progression of a relationship, through Coffee Beans and Green Tea Leaves. Basically, it’s an AU where Kirk works at a coffee shop to pay his way through school, and Spock visits often. rated t; 16,429 words

Love, love, love, this fic. It’s cute, it’s in character. They have kind of a rocky start together, so it’s got a little bit of that Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy i-hated-you-but-now-i-love-you-marry-me vibes to it. I’m a sucker for that, if you haven’t figured that out by now lol. It’s really good, and a really enjoyable read. And it’s not too long, if you’re in the mood for something on the shorter end of things.

 Please Don’t Touch the Vulcans:  The "yes" is out of Jim's mouth before he can think about it. Jim is chipper about having time off for the holidays. He asks everyone if they want to spend time together but sadly, everyone ditches Jim over the holidays because they have plans. McCoy visits his daughter, Nyota visits her family, and everyone splits. Not knowing Spock has feelings for him, Jim doesn't even bother asking if he wants to spend time together figuring he has something to do. Something cute, romantic with the boys spending time with one another and confessions; rated m; 17,690 words

Super cute and has lots of Sarek, which idk about y’all, but I’m always a fan of. Sarek and Jim kind of get to know each other a bit, and it’s cute. Sarek knows about they’re in love before Spock & Kirk know lol. If I remember correctly, there’s also some appearances from everyone’s favorite: Old!Spock! You also get a little bit of jealous and protective Young!Spock. So you’re in for a real treat with this one. 

The Ren shat’var Trilogy:  A split-second decision changes Jim's life forever, as he enters into a bond with Spock in the face of certain torture. Enemies to the Federation emerge from unlikely places, and the command team must contend with unexpected threats, as well as challenges within their own intense relationship. In this three-part series, the Enterprise races across the galaxy to confront the unknown, and Jim and Spock discover the true significance of their unprecedented connection; rated e; 184,411 words

Textual Attraction:  Valentine’s Day does not bring up pleasant memories for Cadet Kirk. But the serendipitous switch-up of his cell phone with a particular Vulcan professor’s will make his day far more interesting –and romantic. Perhaps some new memories can be made! 15,900 words

SO GOOD. Just SO good

Spaceman:  Academy AU. Five times Spock realizes he's attracted to a barista at the academy spaceport, and one time he decides to do something about it. rated t; 3728 words

Short, sweet, funny. You’ll love it.

Subtext: Texting your Vulcan first officer in the middle of the night is never a good idea. Especially when you have an obsessive crush on said Vulcan.The holidays are approaching and Jim is left entirely Spockless aboard the Enterprise when his First takes shore leave on New Vulcan. After some midnight pining, Jim sends a text he instantly regrets. That is, until Spock responds and willingly continues their textual communications to an inevitable conclusion; rated t; 13,032 words

Cute, sweet, funny. It’s a texting fic. I think you’ve probably figured out I love those. This one makes me laugh so fucking hard. Like actually laugh-out-loud-omg-did-i-just-snort kind of funny. Spock is great in this one

All Spock Wants For Christmas:  While Jim is away on a delegation mission, he panics about what to give Spock for Christmas. With help from Bones and Uhura, and in between some spam texting with Spock, Jim realizes he already has the perfect gift. And all it needs is wrapping paper and a bow; rated t; 11,966 words

And here we have another cute, sweet, funny texting fic. Sue me lol

The Morning After:  Jim convinces Spock to take shore leave with him on Risa, hoping the time together will help re-solidify their bond of friendship after some recent tension. Meanwhile, Spock convinces himself he's on Risa for one reason and one reason only, to prevent his wayward captain from getting into trouble. After a passionately illogical night of Romulan Ale and chocolate infused liquor, everything changes when Jim wakes with something other than a hangover filling his head. Something he's sure neither he nor Spock can handle. Because if Jim knows anything for sure, it's that his messed up thoughts belong nowhere near Spock's clean, ordered mind; rated m; 50,381 words

HAHA. This fic fucking cracks me up. You’ve got drunk boys pining over each other & not realizing it. You’ve got accidental marriage. You’ve got bed sharing. It’s great, it’s cute, it’s funny. 

Take This Sinking Boat (And Point It Home):  In which Spock pines, Jim isn’t stupid (except he kind of is), and Christopher Pike has had enough of this bullshit; 6698 words

Pike is great in this one, and it’s super, super funny.

Extracurricular Activities:   Spock returns to the Academy from a tour of duty to find an intriguing cadet captures his attention; rated e; 15,433 words

Veritas: Basically, Kirk and Spock are on trial because the Federation thinks they are emotionally compromised by each other, which is putting the lives of their crew in danger. They have to convince a court they’re not actually in love with each other. They think the claims are bullshit. They think it will be easy to prove that they aren’t in love or emotionally compromised, damn it. It isn’t; rated m; 186,80 words

This one is so, so good. A real gem off of Fanfic.net. I remember it was actually one of the first Spirk fanfics I ever read, and it blew me away. The progression of their relationship is really well-done and interesting. It has star-crossed lovers vibes and has some really emotionally intense moments in it, especially for Spock. 

A Habitual Affection:  Living in 1930s New York with the Vulcan you're secretly in love with is no simple thing. But Jim never liked anything simple. And then, the big snowstorm hit...; rated t; 7998 words

A beautiful TOS fic about one of the gayest episodes of Star Trek. Love this one. 

Atlas:  Between what was and what will be stands James Tiberius Kirk, in all his fractured patchwork glory. Because saving the Federation was only the beginning; rated t; 135,529 words

A beaut. Really great characterization, and the progression of Jim and Spock’s relationship is really well-done.

[momentofch-aos]

Fic Writer Review

Thank you for the tag @herosofmarvelanddc I’ve been wanting to do a little bit of a reflection so this great!

1. How many do you have on Ao3?

19! I have another one shot that may make this an even 20, but it’s currently half written!

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count?

257,652 which I think is not too bad for just over a year!

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Three? On Ao3 anyway but all my docs are Agents of Shield or Agent Carter with one MCU crossover with both!

4. What are your top 5 five by kudos?

*spoilers in descriptions but all Daisy/Sousa, mainly fluff*

Never Needed Anything More - 274 kudos - My collection of oneshots for my Daisy/Sousa Coffee Shop AU. Lots of family fluff documenting their relationship, small bits of angst (but slightly less trauma for the characters than in the show)

To Live for the Hope of It All - 264 kudos - My original Coffee Shop AU. 12 chapters of Daisy and Sousa dancing around each other and my first ever fic!

You Belong - 215 kudos - The first of my alternate timeline fics. Set a few years post-finale, Daisy and Daniel have a daughter and life is simple for the first time ever. Then someone from another timeline arrives at Shield and throws them for a loop. Beth Sousa is the daughter of an alternate version of Daniel Sousa and former shield directors Peggy Carter.

Return of the Astro Ambassadors - 157 kudos - After a long space mission, our Astro Ambassadors reunite with their family, fluff and emotions with surprise characters!

I’ll Be Right Here (when you wake up) - 152 kudos - Temporary Amnesia where Sousa gets hurt on a mission and Daisy being a worried wife. While in the hospital thinks he’s in the 1950’s for a hot sec and then he flirts with his own wife because he’s unaware of who she is. *Bonus chapter of Daisy being in the hospital and Daniel being a worried husband* ft cute tag scenes and Mack nicknames

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Yes! I try and reply to every single one as they make me so happy, even older fics! I love when people point out references I’ve made or ask questions.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I don’t really write with angsty endings! Everything tends to be very fluff, happy endings over here!

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I’ve got my alternate timeline fics but that is just AoS and Agent Carter. One of my fics has a small mcu crossover as a small attempt to quell my post-endgame issues but is quite simple in reality! Here.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I have received what I would call “constructive criticism” on a OC’s name (each to their own) and one on my portrayal of a certain character (👀👀👀) but I kind of roll my eyes and get over it 😂

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I don’t because I find it hard enough to describe kisses in a non repetitive way let alone anything else 😂

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I’m aware of! I did briefly think I might in Wattpad but I can’t work that website at all so I gave up trying to look 😂

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I haven’t but that would be so cool

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I haven’t, and I honestly think I would over think that so much and I don’t think my writing is good enough for that!

13. What is your all time favourite ship?

Writing wise! I love writing Daisy and Sousa as I think the fact we only had their relationship build for a few episodes left two of my favourite character open for a lot of interpretation. But also like Peggy and Sousa lives rent free in my mind. None writing its Castle and Beckett, as I have a real soft spot for them as that’s what introduced me to fandom culture!

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

My Peggysous fic 😅 no I will, eventually. I’ve got it 90% planned but then I get distracted and write a fluffy one shot instead 😂 also the fact that the agent Carter fandom is a little quieter means I struggle with motivation sometimes!

15. What are your writing strengths?

Fluff I think? Chuck a few feelings in there as well

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Describing smiles and kisses. I’m so repetitive. I also get ridiculously bogged down in details and dates that don’t matter, such as birthdays of the whole shield gang and working out their actual ages after time travel.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I love doing this, but am also very aware that I don’t speak another language and I don’t want to get it wrong or offend anyone!

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Agents of Shield. Big surprise to everyone 😂

19. What’s your favourite fic you’ve ever written?

I find this so hard! I have a soft spot for my coffee shop AU series Brought Me to You as it’s what I first came up with a week after the finale and have only just finished, but I also love I’ll be Right Here (when you wake up) . One shot wise I really enjoyed writing It’s the Way They Love as it’s just different from what I wrote normally!

I feel like a bunch of people will have already done this but I’ll tag a few people if they want to join in and haven’t already : @redvanillabee @steeleholtingon @stilltryingtowrite no pressure at all!

[maybebrilliant]

My ridiculous fandoms:

I know, multifandom much?!

I have a LOT, although I will post mostly AoS shit. (I don’t make things for all of these, don’t worry lmao, mostly I just spectate and sometimes reblog stuff.) Up to know I’ve put them all up in my bio, but I’ve decided only to do the top, say, three, otherwise it just gets wayyy too long. However, I’m putting it all here, so that anyone, if they feel so inclined, can see what shit I’m interested in. 

I will also be putting a bunch of my favourite quotes from the shows there, because, well, I’m a total nerd xD. 

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

”With great responsibility comes...a ton of weird shit you are not prepared to deal with.”

“The steps you take don’t have to be big, they just need to take you in the right direction.”

“Sometimes, making a difference means being different.”

Star Trek: Discovery (sauce)

“You had me at unsanctioned mission...” 

“Deal with me, universe, while I deal with her.”

And...(though this is not a real quote, exactly) Sauce Afirma Sauce Eterna. :)

Derry Girls

“If anyone is feeling anxious, worried or maybe you just want a chat, please, please do not come crying to me.”

“We got the gist. They ran out of spuds, everyone was raging.” 

“Slainte, motherfuckers!”

Julie and the Phantoms

“Chill man, Street Dogs haven’t killed us yet.”

“I cried in a room for twenty-five years and didn’t get a single hug from either of you!”

“Oh. She said oh. That’s what you say if you get socks on your birthday, not when you’re invited to join the most epic band ever!” 

Brigerton

“Having a nice face and pleasant hair is not an accomplishment. Do you know what is an accomplishment? Attending university! If I were a man, I could do that, you know.”

“You would actually have to be interesting for me to bother spying on you"

“All is fair in love and war but some battles leave no victor, only a trail of broken hearts that makes us wonder if the price we pay is ever worth the fight.”

Simon Snow series

“You were the sun, and I was crashing into you.”

“Sharing a room with the person you want most is like sharing a room with an open fire. He's constantly drawing you in. And you're constantly stepping too close. And you know it's not good--that there is no good--that there's absolutely nothing that can ever come of it. But you do it anyway. And then... Well. Then you burn.”

“I'd cross every line for him. I'm in love with him. And he likes this better than fighting.”

Avatar the Last Airbender

“Life happens wherever you are, whether you make it or not.”

“My first girlfriend turned into the moon.” “That’s rough buddy.”

“Why am I so bad at being good?”

Harry Potter

“It’s leviOsa, not levioSA!” 

“I solemnly swear I am up to no good.”

“Things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end, if not always in the way we expect.”

The Queen’s Gambit

"I Would Say It Is Much Easier To Play Chess Without The Burden Of An Adam's Apple."

"I'm Not Your Guardian Angel. I'm Not Here To Save You. Hell, I Can Barely Save Me."

“Again?”

Once Upon A Time

"That's How You Know You've Really Got A Home. 'Cause When You Leave It ...There's This Feeling You Can't Shake. You Just Miss It."

"Sometimes The Best Teacup Is Chipped."

"All Magic Comes With A Price."

The Good Place

“I’m just not a ���new experience’ kind of guy. My comfort zone is basically like, that chair, and honestly? The arms are a little sharp.” 

“What matters isn’t if people are good or bad. What matters is, if they’re trying to be better today than they were yesterday. You asked me where my hope comes from? That’s my answer.”

“We do nothing. We hope that our early successes make up for the embarrassing mess we’ve become. Like Facebook. Or America.”

Community

"We'll definitely be back next year. If not, it'll be because an asteroid has destroyed all human civilization. And that's canon."

"GAAYYY MARRIAAGEE!!"

“Our Captain was killed on duty tonight. Leaves behind two kids and a pregnant wife. So you’re missing a Batman DVD?”

Zoey’s Extraoridnary Playlist

“Who wants some freshly delivered, slightly cold, mediocre pizza?” 

“Songs are all just an expression of our deepest wants and desires… Joy, pain, heartbreak, yearning, forgiveness, revenge. Good music can make you feel things you can’t express in words.”

“I just found out a guy I like is engaged, and I am either going totally nuts, or I suddenly can hear people’s innermost thoughts as big musical numbers.”

The Old Gaurd

“Depends on the century.”

“You're an incurable romantic...”

“SHIIIIIIIIITTTTTT!”

Merlin (BBC)

“Merlin should take some of the credit, turns out he’s not always entirely stupid.” 

“Are you saying I’m fat?” -Arthur | “No, I’m saying the belt is one hole shy away from perfection.”

Artemis Fowl

“I am the future queen of this world, at the very least. You may refer to me as Mistress Koboi for the next five minutes. After that you may refer to me as Aaaaarrrrgh, hold your throat, die screaming, and so on.” 

“We lost the crickets,” she said. “Even you can’t make that sound tough.”

“I never tell anyone exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared.”

How To Train Your Dragon

“ Thank you for nothing, you useless reptile!”

“You just gestured to all of me.”

“Toothless, what are you doing? We need her to LIKE us!”

The Dragon Prince

“I’m just a kid. I haven’t fought in any battles. I haven’t read many books of wisdom. I haven’t gone through the things that made my father the king he was. So I’ve decided that I don’t have to be the king my father was. My father made choices to keep fighting battles that started hundreds of years before he was born. To punish enemies for crimes their parents committed! I don’t want to be that kind of king.” 

“The dragon prince is alive! And he’s really cute, by the way.”

“What? WHAAAAAAAT!”

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?”  

“A towel, [The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy] says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapors; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a miniraft down the slow heavy River Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (such a mind-boggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.”

“For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.”

“The Answer to the Great Question... Of Life, the Universe and Everything... Is... Forty-two,' said Deep Thought, with infinite majesty and calm.”

“Ford... you're turning into a penguin. Stop it.”

sorry for the five I couldn’t choose only 3

But there you have it, my insane, ridiculous, way-too-many fandoms. For anyone who cares. ;)

[theknightoflameblogs]

Dinner Date? (AOS Spock x Reader)

A/N: I think this may just be a part one, I do want to continue the story but I was more eager to see if people were interested first. Also this is meant to be read with either a female, male, or non-binary reader! I have been wanting to do a Spock x Reader for awhile now, this is my first time writing one! Enjoy!

Summary: After being hospitalized (and passing out) in Sickbay from a dumb choice you made while on mission, you are surprised to find that Commander Spock had stayed by your side while you slept.

Word Count: 3,338

Warning: Swearing and a sarcastic Bones and cute moments

---

“Shit. Shit. Holy- FUCK!” Was all you could manage to say as a sharp pain twisted into your side. You were currently in Sickbay after having collapsed on the floor just outside of the bridge, nearby crewmen immediately rushed you to a not-so-happy Dr. McCoy.

“Damn it, man, I told you not to eat that planet’s weird berries!” McCoy said in a frustrated tone as he pulled out his scanner. “It’s only been what- two hours? And you are already showing symptoms of infection in your abdominal region that would usually take years to develop!”

“How can you be so sure…” You breathed, gripping at your stomach which started to cramp. “...that it was the berries?”

“Mm, I dunno (Y/N), maybe because of the fact that Jim and I had no berries whatsoever and we seem to be doing perfectly fine. It’s no coincidence, damn it!”

Nausea passed over your body in massive waves, you applied pressure via your fingertips between the two tendons on your wrist in an attempt to get the feeling to cease. You remembered seeing this technique in an article somewhere, but you were pretty sure that the article didn’t take into account your situation. “Well the natives said... that eating the berries was a sign of a... good spirit… a way to connect with them. It’s called respecting...tradition. Something you and the Captain… refused to do.” The fact that it was taking so much energy to construct sentences both amazed and horrified you.

“Maybe those berries weren’t meant for humans.” McCoy grunted, walking out your line of sight. “Just because you're some diplomat representing all of Starfleet doesn’t mean you have to go around eating weird foods for the sake of tradition.”

“Bones,” You declared. “I could really do without the lecture right now.” You only felt worse the longer you laid there, your forehead broke out into a sweat and your face grew hot. You pictured McCoy getting his instruments together from the sound of metal clinking against metal, at least that is what you hoped he was doing.

“Alright! Alright, hold on…” He said, fumbling with what sounded like a plastic bag. “Damn... what would that green-blooded hobgoblin think of this?”

“You mean Commander Spock?” You asked, even though you understood what he meant. “What does he have to do with-” a sharp sting entered the side of your arm as your asshole-of-a-friend, and trusted doctor, injected you with a large syringe. “-Oh, what the hell was that?!”

“That-” McCoy said, holding up the syringe defiantly, “-just saved your life. Well, maybe. Give it an hour or two, your fever should already be going down. The pain will subside in no time.”

“Jesus, Bones, you could have at least warned me before stabbing my arm!"

“Well it’s not supposed to hurt so much without a warning.” You heard him say, but you were more focused on the white walls within the Sickbay, which were beginning to blur into everything else until it became one muddy display. It made your eyelids feel heavy.

“Everything is so abstract looking…” You said half-consciously, watching as different colors danced in front of your vision.

“Well I’m no Picasso, much less a painter,” You heard him say, or maybe you just imagined it. It didn’t matter though, seeing as all the sounds and sights were becoming one big jumble. It didn’t stay this way for long before everything went completely black.

You have been abroad upon the Enterprise for almost a year now, part of its five-year intergalactic planetary voyage. As a Starfleet diplomat, you were stationed on the bridge and tasked with regulating Starfleet protocol and managing peace-treaties and negotiations. Through this job, you befriended many on the Enterprise, especially those stationed on the bridge with you. You were quick to become friends with the notorious (or so he thought) Captain Kirk, as well as others like Lieutenant Uhura and the pilots, Mr. Sulu and Chekhov.There were even people beyond the bridge like Mr. Scotty down in Engineering who you managed to get well acquainted with. You were simply amazed by all these different and infatuating personalities you had come to know, but there was one person- or rather, an alien- who you had come to admire the most aboard your time here.

Commander Spock.

You were only to report on the bridge three days out of the week, the rest of your time was spent helping to ease the tension between antsy crewmen who were getting themselves into disputes and fistfights (even though it was not in your pay grade, and was sure as hell not part of your job description either) and even assisting the Chief Officers in preparation for meetings in the department they resided over (which was part of your pay grade).

It was a small attraction… at first.

The Enterprise was only four months into its five-year voyage whenever the Captain tasked you to assist in preparing and partaking in an introductory meeting (really it was more of a banquet) for the Science Department. The last two months had already taken up your time with meetings (*banquets) in other departments: speaking on behalf of Starfleet, introducing yourself to the staff and crew, helping them adjust to life aboard a starship, answering to millions upon millions questions and concerns. Today would be no different, or so you thought.

You entered the science lab with a clipboard full of notes you were preparing to say in your speech. Contrary to others’ belief, you never used the same speech twice, you took too much pride in your work to do so- except for those few rush jobs where the only thing you managed to have on hand was a speech about how cute yet terrifying Tribbles were. The memory of all those confused faces in the crowd during a Starfleet conference still haunted you to this day. The Admiral was to say, in the very least, displeased.

Awaiting by a table of fliers was the Enterprise’s chief science officer. His back had been turned to you when you entered the lab, and he was still unaware of your presence as you drew closer to him.

“Commander.” you greeted, yet received no reply. That was odd, with you being the only other person in the laboratory besides him, he had to have heard you. Maybe you just weren’t being loud enough. Determined, you took another step closer. “Commander!” 

Still, no reply. By now you managed to get close enough to see his face, and you were rather more perplexed to see that his eyes were closed. Odd. You weren’t well educated enough about Vulcans to know if this was some ritualistic standing sleep-like state they put themselves in, but it reminded you of a similar nature that some of the Terran animals back home displayed.

“Just like a horse…” You murmured, before slowly reaching up to touch the Vulcan’s face. You hadn’t realized how close you had gotten to him. He stood there perfectly, his face was so mellow, so clear of emotion, he almost looked like some sort of statue…

A hand caught your wrist before a finger could even graze his cheek, a shock ran through your body, it scared the shit out of you. “What is like a horse?” Commander Spock asked, staring down at you with his full, dark eyes.

You quickly (and embarrassingly) pulled your hand away from his grip, holding it protectively close over your hammering heart. “C-Commander Spock, I-I thought you were asleep!”

“I was not sleeping.” He responded in a calm tone. He straightened his posture and placed his hands behind his back.  “I was meditating.”

“Nervous?” You asked half-jokingly. “The whole department is going to be here tonight, things can go wrong, but it will be alright.” It was apparent you were saying this more for your own benefit rather than his.

“I find it illogical to be nervous.”

“And why is that?”

“Based on what I could gather from your involvement in past assignments, Lieutenant. I trust you are more than qualified to execute this meeting successfully.” He replied with a small smile.

You felt your heart swell at the praise, and you smiled right back.

After that day, you and Commander Spock maintained a mutual friendship: greeting one another with a nod or smile as you passed by in the hallways or having small (but quite educational on your part) talks while riding the lift, it never went beyond that, but you didn’t mind. You felt like your growing attraction for him had to be limited in some way, seeing as his thoughts on you are nothing but platonic.

…

...Lieutenant?

Lieutenant (L/N)? Can you hear me?

You felt a rough shake of your shoulders, pulling you straight out of the darkness in a start.

“Doctor, I believe that was an unnecessary course of action. The Lieutenant was already waking up.” A familiar voice said. 

“You’re overreacting, Spock. (Y/N) needed a jumpstart.” Another voice responded.

You looked around the room quickly, watching as the blurred figures started to take appropriate shape and form. It was Dr. McCoy and Commander Spock, both peering down at you. Immediately, McCoy started to check your vitals asking you clipboard questions like: How are you feeling? Is there any pain when I do this? Commander Spock on the other hand stood idly by with his hands behind his back, his face could be read as stoic if it weren’t for the fact that his eyebrows were furrowed. It actually surprised you to see him here, but you had a feeling that it had to do with the details of your mission.

"Oh man…" you grunted as you sat up slowly. "How long was I out for?"

"Approximately for five hours and twenty-one minutes." Spock responded.

"Yeah, because (Y/N) was so worried about the exact number of minutes they missed." McCoy said with a loose smile, despite the gruff tone in his voice.

"I may not be well acquainted in human social cues, Doctor-" Spock said, turning his gaze on McCoy, "-But I believe you are using sarcasm. In your case, this would not be uncommon."

"Well good job, Sherlock. Seems you cracked the case!" McCoy said with false praise.

Spock went to open his mouth, you could tell he wanted clarification by the way his gaze narrowed, but instead, he diverted his attention back onto you. "How are you feeling, Lieutenant?"

It was a question that surprised both you and the doctor (or maybe he always looked that confused). “I feel fine-” You said abruptly, “Well, at least I think I do. Am I, Bones?” You nervously looked over to your friend.

“Yeah, you’re fine.” McCoy responded, waving his hand casually. “All we had to do was pump your system full of antibodies and just like that, infection was gone. Thank God we aren’t living in the Dark Ages.”

The Commander approached your bedside. “It seems the berries initiated a rapid case of abdominal infection known to your species as colonic diverticulitis. It’s quickening effects seem to have caused a trauma in your nerves, specifically your sensory nerves, leading them to send incorrect signals. Which explains your disassociation with reality.”

“Alright, Mr. Know-it-all, I’m the doctor here.” McCoy said with a grumble, before addressing you. “It just means those berries infected your bowels and started blending your five senses together like one big smoothie.”

“That is rather an inaccurate description, but yes, the Doctor is somewhat correct.” A slight grimace was in Spock’s voice, causing you to smile. The two always had differentiating opinions. Watching them react to one another like highly-active mind fields was quite entertaining.

McCoy only shook his head in irritation, “Which means, (Y/N), no more eating any foreign soul-binding berries, you hear? I mean it.” He was now targeting you, which was not so entertaining.

“Okay. Okay.” You held up your hands in defeat. “I solemnly promise to never eat any foreign soul-binding berries, again.”

“Yeah, well let’s see how long that promise lasts.” He crossed his arms, before a faint smirk appeared on his face. “You know Pointy-Ears here-” he said gesturing to the Commander. “-was worried sick about you. Got here as soon as you passed out, didn’t even leave your side when writing his report to command.”

You felt your face grow hot at the news. He waited here for you? He wasn’t in the landing party with you when you beamed down onto that planet… you didn’t know how to take this news. But knowing you, you must have been overthinking it, he was just being friendly after all. Still, you had to force yourself not to cover your face in shame as you knew it was red with embarrassment. You didn’t want your friend (and doctor) or the Vulcan you had come to like so much see your flustered expression.

“I was merely concerned with the Lieutenant’s well-being, as (L/N)’s superior, I saw it only fitting to stay by their side until they got better.” You heard him say.

When you felt confident enough to look up from your bed sheets you were surprised to see Spock staring straight at you.

“Uh huh…and I’m the king of Mars.” McCoy sarcastically said with a taunting smile that you wish you could smack off his face. He probably didn’t even know what he was embarrassing you by doing this.

“Doctor, the United Martian Colonies is governed by a uniglobal government, it does not have an establish monarchy-”

“How about I get a drink, and you finish that thought later. Alright, Spock?” Bones interjected with eagerness. “(Y/N), you’re free to leave whenever. From your head to your toes, you are medically sound.”

“Thanks to you, Bones.” You replied.

“Please, it’s only my life’s work.” He said, waving his PADD up in the air knowingly. “And if you need me, which you better not, I’ll be in the bar- drinking the day away.” With that, he disappeared out the door.

You turned your attention over to Spock, who had his gaze on the door. You decided it would be best to head out as well, seeing as you couldn’t control your heartbeat, you were sure you looked like a tomato with how frequently your face was turning red. "Well I guess I’m free to leave since my doctor suggested so." You say in a means of farewell.

The bed's mattress shifted under your weight as you slowly began to peel yourself off from it, it took awhile, seeing as the way you had been laying on it for the past five hours made you stiff,

"I have to agree with the Doctor's earlier statement." Spock said, grabbing your attention. "Your actions were reckless and could have been fatal if it were not for him."

"Understood, Commander.” You responded formally as you pulled on your yellow blazer over your tank top. You felt somewhat dejected, but shook that feeling away. He was concerned because he was your commanding officer. That gesture alone should have been satisfying enough.

“I typed up a mission report and sent it to Command, they requested that you send in a report as well.”

“Thank you, Commander.” You replied, grabbing your Command insignia off of the end table before reattaching it to your uniform. “Have the natives of the planet decided whether or not to join the Federation?”

“I’m afraid I do not know. I was... preoccupied at the time.”

He must have been talking about the report. Thinking about it now, it would be best to complete yours now while it was still fresh on your mind. It was only fair to your Commander that you got it done as soon as possible. 

“Well I better head-” You started.

“Lieutenant, I was wondering-” Spock also initiated taking another step forward.

The sound of the entry door sliding open stopped you both, it was Captain Kirk.

“I heard what had happened and the natives promised-” Kirk announced as he casually walked into Sickbay. “-they did not know it was potentially fatal to us and assured- am I interrupting something here?” His nonchalant attitude formed into a more devious one as he looked between the two of you.

“Uh, no, you aren’t.” You said quickly. “What did they say?”

Kirk smirked, briefly shrugging his shoulders, before continuing on. “Well everything is all good now. Just about an hour after you were admitted into Sickbay, the natives agreed to join the Federation. Took awhile for them to decide. They sent gifts of apology to you, I had them sent to your room. Of course, if I had known that I would be receiving gifts, I would have eaten some berries too.” He said with a chuckle.

“Captain, that would be highly illogical seeing as the same berries led to the incapacitation of Lieutenant (L/N).” Spock noted matter-of-factly, making you smile a bit. It was well-known that as a Vulcan, his mind-set followed logic to its core, however you couldn’t help but interpret his words as being thoughtful. Or maybe, you were just projecting that into his words.

“And that is why I am in debt to our wonderful Lieutenant, here.” Kirk said with a dramatic bow. “Without (Y/N), the Federation would not have gained a whole planet as its ally today.” You couldn’t help but laugh as you watched your Captain move across the room like some Shakespearean actor (like running on his tippy-toes and bowing), you decided to play along and twirl dramatically over to him before kissing him on the cheek as though his words just meant the world to you. The scene itself caused an eyebrow-raised look from a clearly confused Spock, the expression alone made you two laugh.

“Am I missing something here?” Spock asked, looking between the two of you.

“Nope.” Kirk responded, lazily putting his arm around the Vulcan’s shoulder, “But you know what you are missing? A nice, hot meal. After such a long day, you two deserve a treat. Go grab something in the mess hall together, Captain’s orders.” He finished with a smirk, making your stomach turn. Why would he say it like that? ...Did he know you liked the Commander? But that would be impossible! You never even mentioned to anyone how you felt about Spock… Were you that obvious?

Before you could open your mouth to say anything, you saw that your Captain was already leaving the room. He turned around briefly and gave two thumbs up and an encouraging nod in your direction, but to your surprise the gesture wasn’t aimed at you, but rather.... at the Commander.

You heard a throat clear beside you and turned to see that Spock was looking you in the eyes. Like, really looking at you.

“Lieutenant...” The way his voice wavered suggested… nervousness. He knitted his eyebrows together and his posture became much more stiff, confirming your suspicions. “...do I have your permission to address you by your first name?”

You felt your cheeks burn again at his request. “You do.” Immediately his body relaxed. “May I, in turn, address you as Spock?”

“Certainly, (Y/N).” He said smoothly, you could tell he was testing out your name. You liked it.

You felt a nervousness build up within you, unsure where this conversation was leading to until Spock spoke up again.

“I would like to request your presence tonight in the mess hall for social engagement and dinner.”

And with that your heart was blown ten thousand light-years away.

“You sure our lovely Captain didn’t bribe you to say that?” You asked half-jokingly, trying not to sound like you were just melted away.

“I do not need persuasion with money or gifts to spend an evening with you.”

How he could say such things without becoming a puddle of embarrassment amazed you. You felt giddy as a warm smile spread across your lips. “Then yes, I would love to have dinner with you.”

“I’ll come by your quarters at eight.” He stated, smiling down at you.

“I’ll be waiting.”

[bearsinpotatosacks]

Day 17 of TrekTober2020- Other Trek Crossover

I know this is a few days late but I honestly forgot and I really wanted to write something for this. I might continue with these crossovers, I need TOS Bones knocking (metaphorically) some sense into his AOS counterpart. (Also TOS Leonard McCoy is Bones, AOS Leonard McCoy is Leonard)

Trigger Warning for depression, self deprecating thoughts and depressive episodes

Also on AO3

~~

His hands tensed around the PADD, another death, another life he couldn't save. Sickbay hurried around him, nurses running to and fro, doctors collecting in small groups, looking over PADDs. 

He sighed, letting his head fall into his hands as he took a few moments to process the last few hours.

~~

It had been a strange day, a major ion storm had prevented them from delivering well needed supplies to a new Starfleet colony. They had eight hours to get to the colony, if not, it could be another Tarsus IV.

Jim had been on edge ever since they received the emergency mission, he'd paced the ship dozens of times, eaten until he was sick and bitten his fingernails until they were blunt. 

His anxieties were only heightened when the Transporter started malfunctioning and engine power decreased so much, they were stuck in the middle of deep space.  He'd pushed every aspect of the ship in his control to its limit, sending countless engineering crew to sickbay and even pushing Scotty to, respectfully, also the Captain.

They had spent five hours fully stationary when the Transporter made the familiar sounds of someone beaming up.

After running to investigate, they found something they never thought they'd see. Themselves, from the late Ambassador Spock's universe.

From there, everything had gone into overdrive, with two of almost every main officer, it was chaotic. There were a few positives, new ideas, more staff with different knowledge and, before they knew it, they were racing across the cosmos towards the emergency.

There had been no calm when they arrived, however. Starving people in desperate need of care and raving leaders forgetting their duty was with the people. 

Everyone was occupied. Most senior staff, especially both versions of Uhura, were busy contacting Starfleet and easing the palpable tension that filled the atmosphere like fog. Sickbay was instantly filled, surgeries one after the other, minor ailments filling up the corridors and overflow wards and every possible room available on the two floors being full. 

Leonard was losing his cool. He hadn't eaten since their counters arrived, had barely drank anything that wasn't coffee or those sickly energy drinks. His feet were aching and his body swayed, head began to fuzz as the headache he'd been putting off with painkillers hit him. 

His body gave up and started to crumple in on itself just as a pair of warm and familiar hands caught him as he fell. 

"Woah there, son," His counterpart said, helping him get steady again as he put down the PADD and led him towards his office. "You need to rest for a while,"

Together, they managed to make their way towards the sofa that lay against the right hand wall, perpendicular to his desk. He sat down with a groan and rubbed his forehead as Bones poured him a glass of water and prepared him some pasta from the replicator.

They waited around in silence for a moment, listening to the far off conversations and happenings of sickbay. He was still processing the day's events, particularly the way he acted in that other universe. 

Some of the uncanny differences were the fact that he was older on their five year mission, his Joanna was born earlier too. There was a soft happiness that radiated from him, even when they arrived at the crisis and were slowly overwhelmed. Maybe it was because he'd had more time to process the tragedies of his life, the divorce, his dad dying. It had opened up a lot of old wounds, seeing a version of himself so put together, having learnt from all his wrongdoings and not letting himself be defined by them.

"Eat." Bones slammed down a plate of food, breaking off his train of thought. "God knows when you last did that,"

He picked up the fork, it felt heavy in his hand, and started eating. The food was both delicious and meaningless mush in his mouth. His mind had gone from emergency mode to rational thinking as soon as he'd sat down. This happened every time a crisis ended, and every time he promised himself he wouldn't push himself this far.

"Do you do this during every red alert?" His counterpart asked. He settled next to him and sipped his own glass of water, lifting his hand to gently rub his back as he ate.

"Pretty much," Leonard said, there was no use lying to himself.

"Dear god, no wonder you're in such a bad place,"

He stopped eating for a second and turned to look at him, "How am I in a bad place? I'm doing a lot better than I used to," 

"How are you doing better?" His voice was calm and steady, while Leonard's was getting tighter and harsher.

"Well," He ran his hand through his hair. "I'm not an active alcoholic anymore, and I try and eat three times a day, and I try and have downtime with my friends twice a week, and I don't do all nighters writing reports,"

He could feel Bones' gaze on his head as he lowered it to look at his feet, which he'd crossed on the sofa beneath him. 

"I mean, maybe I can't get out of bed some days, and maybe this has made me late to my shift a few times, big deal," He wriggled in his seat and picked at the skin around his nails. "And I guess I don't shower at all some weeks, and I don't really have any hobbies, I don't really feel like I'm here sometimes,"

Bones opened his mouth to say something, but Leonard jumped in with, "But I don't cry every night, I sometimes exercise and try to tidy up and do all my reports and-"

"Feel nothing while you're doing it?"

Leonard panicked, his mouth ran dry, palms went clammy and he couldn't speak a word. 

"Haven't actually, whole heartedly, freely laughed in god knows when?"

He nodded.

"Struggle to remember, don't find anything enjoyable, wonder why it isn't getting better when it was supposed to?"

Leonard felt the tears pour over onto his cheeks as he nodded continuously, his head falling onto Bones' shoulder as every little thing he'd been holding in for years fell out of him in one go. 

Bones quietly hushed him, hand consistently circling the worn tunic he was wearing. He had meant to scrub out, but another landing party had come up with the usual scrapes, bruises and broken bones, and he'd been flurried away to help them. 

"This isn't healthy," Bones continued. "I can't say that I'm the pinnacle of health, physical or mental, but, I know that bottling up even your basic emotions isn't good,"

Leonard didn't dare to raise his head, it felt too heavy with foreboding thoughts.

'You can't open up, it'll scare people,'

'You can't trust him, you've dealt with this for years, you don't need his help'

'You can't handle life now, if you open up and change, then you'll have more to do, you won't be able to handle it'

He felt two hands on his shoulders, shaking him lightly as he blinked and remembered where he was. His breath was coming out shorter as he heard distant instructions, telling him to breathe and only focus on that.

It was a few more minutes, or it could've been hours, before he fully came back to himself. He felt his stomach gurgle and he reached for the cold bowl of pasta, shakily shoveling mouthfuls in.

Bones looked at him and smiled sadly, sympathy and empathy twinkling in his blue eyes. He stood up, going to receive a blanket from a drawer before sitting down and smothering his body in it.

"Now, you're going to have a nap in here, trusting your staff to sort out the few people who remain in sickbay," He instructed, tucking the edges of the blanket under him as he reached for a PADD.

"But I nee-"

"No arguing, just napping," 

He sighed and closed his eyes, letting his forehead relax and loosening his body. A subtle headache had just formed, from the aftermath of his tears and breakdown. The darkness came quickly after that, the last thing he remembered being him dropping into the lap of the counterpart.

~~

I hope you enjoyed this

[redvanillabee]

We Still Have Time: An Anatomy Analysis Fic

I got tricks on @ellsey​‘s Writeblr Trick or Treat, and I decided to challenge myself with something I have never written, and frankly never thought I would write. Here’s my take on the cryptic “Anatomy Analysis” line from the AOS finale.

(Also available on AO3)

***

“Interesting stuff”, Jemma had said with a wicked grin in the Framework. Daisy squeezed out a tight smile. Just tell me already, she had wanted to say. But not in front of the whole team. Not now. Not yet.

The Analysis went to the back of her mind as she gazed out of the cockpit window at the glowing, unknown nebula, flanked by the two people she loved the most in her life. But the moment she left Daniel’s comforting warmth behind, and in the silence of her (their) bunk, it all came flooding back.

It started with a missed period. Usually it wouldn’t cause alarm, she thought, it had never been that regular anyway. And when you are technically part alien, and you partake in alien food every other day, get exposed to different atmospheric makeup and soil content and radiation and levels of gravity... things are bound to get weird

But then she remembered that she now had a partner. A very loving partner. Who had found all sorts of ways, old-fashioned and new, to show her just how much he loves her. And they did indulge, a lot, much to Kora’s dismay, two months ago around Daniel’s technically-101st birthday. So in the middle of the night, in a panic, she called Jemma. Under her instructions, she ran a full test with the equipment on board and sent all the data to Jemma.

Daniel found her in their bunk. Silent, pensive, frowning.

“Hey. What’s wrong?”

Daisy looked up. And- she didn’t know if it was the stress, the emotions running high after seeing her team family again, or whatever else it was. She couldn’t hide anything from him. Not when he looked at her like he always had: open, warm, inviting. The words just tumbled out of her.

They had very vaguely talked about family and children a few months into their relationship, way back before the Coulson Academy had its own building. Before the Helicarriers were recommissioned. Before Alya turned five. Marriage and children, they would love that, somewhere down the line. But let’s take it slow. Let’s learn to live life without the constant threat of Chronicoms (in both their cases) and in the 21st century (in Daniel’s case) first.

“...I think I may be pregnant.” Daniel’s face lit up upon hearing that. He stared at her, eyes bright, but the words that came out from him shocked her to the core.

“Oh God, Daisy, I am so sorry.”

A beat. Two.

“W-what?”

“I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to get you-- we are hundreds of lightyears from Earth, and we aren’t even married yet--”

“You don’t want--”

“--the right wa--What?” Daniel finally looked her in the eyes, and took notice only now that she was openly crying, tears streaming down in rivulets. Realisation dawned on him. He grasped her hands, and hastily added,

“No, no- Daisy, please, don’t cry- that’s not what I meant at all.” He reached up to brush the tears from her face. “I would love to have a child with you, Dais, I just- it’s not very responsible of me, is it? Getting you pregnant when we are in deep space on an outreach mission?”

Daisy shook her head. “It’s okay,” she hiccuped, “I’ll just--y’know--” She gestured vaguely in the direction of the Med Bay--

“No.” He tightened his grip on her hand again. “You-we don’t have to do that. We’ll work through this together, unless you...”

“I would very much like to keep it.” She whispered. And finally, since they started this conversation, Daniel smiled.

“That’s settled then.” He brought his girlfriend close, letting her lean on his shoulder, and kissed her softly on the top of her head. “We’ll work through this together. If Jemma and Fitz could raise a kid in space, then Quake certainly can, hmm?”

Daisy let out a teary scoff, and half-heartedly slapped him on the arm. That awful name is never going away, but at least with Daniel, it always came from a place of love.

“I wanted to do this right, you know. Settled back on Earth, and get married first.”

“It’s fine,” she softly replied.

The two sat in silence. Daniel played with stray strands of her hair, gently pulling them back, just like he had back then.

“Has Jemma gotten back to you yet?” She shook her head. “No matter what she says, I’m with you, okay?” Daisy nodded,

*

Hours--which to Daisy felt like years--later, Jemma finally called. Daisy had locked herself in the equipment room. She pressed the little green button on her screen, and raised the phone to her ear.

“Just tell me.”

“Negative, Daisy.”

“Huh?”

“The test came back negative. You are not expecting, Daisy.”

Daisy didn’t know if she should be relieved to hear that or not.

Jemma slowly went through the test results with her. No, she was not pregnant. Her missed period was likely just a result of her irregular schedule and Space Stuff; they had come up with this Official SHIELD Diagnosis during their yearlong quest to find Fitz. No, her Inhuman genes shouldn’t impede her from having kids. And, for whatever reason, some of her older medical problems seemed to be going away. So whatever atmosphere or radiation she got exposed to out there might not be all bad, Jemma said.

“So you are saying, when Daniel and I are... ready...”

“Your body will be 100% ready. You’ll get there, Daisy.”

Daisy could practically hear Jemma’s smile over the phone. The two said their goodbyes. And when she opened the door, Daniel was right there, waiting.

“So?”

“Negative.”

Daniel’s face was unreadable. As he is wont to do, he reached for Daisy’s hands, and cradled them gently.

“It’s okay, we still have time.”

Daisy smiled.

“We do.”

***

[to-boldly-nope]

I Won’t Give You Up

Pairing: TOS and AOS Bones x Reader (yeah I experimented with this one)

Plot: Sybok decides to free Bones' mind of pain, but in the end, it made it all worse. (Based off the scene with Bones and his dad in Star Trek V)

Words: 816

Warning: It's kinda sad...

Tags: @emily-strange [I know you like TOS Bones ;)]

"I don't control minds. I free them," Sybok stated.

McCoy was curious by that statement. How could he say that he freed minds, but everyone seems to be under his control? He took a deep breath and asked, "How?"

He felt Kirk and Spock's eyes on him as Sybok walked up to him. There was nothing wrong with being curious.

"By making you face your pain and draw strength from it. Once that's done, fear cannot stop you," Sybok stated, making McCoy frown.

"It sounds like ...brainwashing to me," he mumbled.

Sybok was silent a moment before whispering, "Your pain is the deepest of all."

"What?" McCoy whispered angrily. He didn't need a Vulcan to tell him that he had some personal pains.

"I can feel it. Can't you?"

You were suddenly on the floor beside him, blood coming out from your side. You were breathing rapidly, trying to hang onto life.

"This is some kind of trick," McCoy snapped angrily.

"Bones," you cried out, making him kneel next to you.

"(Y/N), it's alright, I'll fix you," he whispered before turning to look at Sybok, "Don't do this to me."

"Bones," you whispered while lightly smiling since it was too painful. He grabbed your cold hand and smiled with tears.

You died during the five-year mission by someone stabbing you in the side. It was a decent amount of time ago, but he couldn't simply forget about you. He loved you.

"I'm here, (Y/N). I'm with you."

"It hurts."

"I know, hang on, alright? We'll get you to Sickbay soon and I can patch you up."

"I'm cold, Leonard. I'm so cold," you began to cry.

"Just hang on for me, alright? Please?"

"I-I'll try."

He couldn't imagine what was running through your mind that day, now he probably could. He knew how scared you were. He knew that you didn't deserve to die so young and so violently.

"I-I couldn't get her to sickbay in time," McCoy whispered to Sybok. "She died in my arms that day."

"You did everything you could."

"No!" McCoy yelled while standing up. "I could've done more for her, I could've gotten her to Sickbay in time!"

"You lose patients all the time," Sybok said, finally throwing McCoy to his breaking point.

"She wasn't another patient," he sobbed angrily, "I loved her!"

"Bones?" He heard you call out and he sank back down to his knees.

"I'm still here, how are you feeling, darlin'?"

He knew the answer. He saw the light quickly die from your eyes.  

"Like I got stabbed," you chuckled. "Hold me, I'm so cold."

It was torture that he had to relive this. He shouldn't have to hold you in his arms, your head against his chest as you were dying. He patched the wound but there was nothing else he could do until he got back to Sickbay. The scent of your hair was the same as that day; coconut.

"Am I going to die?"

"Of course not," he lied while tears fell on top of your head. "You love me too much to leave me in space alone with Jim and Spock."

"I do love you-" a silent, almost non-existent breath, "-too much."

You went limp and he knew that you were gone again. Twice now you have died in your arms and he's as heartbroken as ever, even after all those years.

"Let her go," Sybok told him, making you disappear.

"No, I won't. I can't. I'd rather suffer for millions of years than forget about (Y/N)."

"Once you forget about her then you can reach paradise-"

"To hell with your paradise!" McCoy yelled, "She was my paradise!"

"Have it your way then," Sybok said calmly while leaving.

McCoy looked at where you were and then buried his face in his hands. You were gone and there was nothing he could do about it.

"Bones, she wouldn't want you to agree with him. You did a good thing," Kirk told him softly. "I miss her too. She should be here with us."

"Yeah," McCoy breathed out. "Yeah."

"Doctor," Spock started, "it is possible that you shall meet again in another universe."

"I think that's the nicest thing you said to me," McCoy laughed.

~

(AOS)

You stepped foot on the Enterprise and for some reason headed into Sickbay. Something drew you there.

The door came open and you saw a man wearing a blue uniform, he had brown hair and hazel eyes, but you knew him.

"Leonard Horatio McCoy," you whispered. "Bones!"

The man heard his name and looked at you with realization. "(Y/N)? (Y/N) (L/N). Damn, Spock was right, we are meeting again."

"What happened?"

"Old age," he shrugged with a laugh. "Many years after you died. Oh god, the adventures we had."

"We have time," you grinned while sitting on a biobed. "A lot of time to tell me about them.”

[mayapleiades]

Star Trek: The Life and Songs of James T. Kirk

The story of Jim Kirk’s life in the Kelvin timeline, as told by the classical songs he would definitely listen to. (spotify)

When I think about AOS Jim&music, the first word that comes to mind is “upbeat”, so the three music genres that I decided to focus on are: famous pop-rock music from the 70s-80s, female pop music singers from 2005 onwards, and for his angstier moments, alternative 90s bands. You’ll find a definite divergence from these for the songs that cover most of the events of Into Darkness, because Jim is not well, and I wanted the music to reflect that.

Songs from 2 to 6 expand on what Jim’s childhood and adolescence were probably like; song 14 is from Spock Prime’s POV, because of the mind meld; song 27 explores a little bit of (my take of) the year of recovery between Jim’s death and the beginning of the five-year mission.

Star Trek 2009

1. star trek - michael giacchino // 2. born this way - lady gaga // 3. sabotage - beastie boys // 4. basket case - green day // 5. celebrity skin - hole // 6. when i grow up - garbage // 7. hot stuff - donna summer // 8. learn to fly - foo fighters // 9. bad case of loving you (doctor, doctor) - robert palmer // 10. addicted to love - robert palmer // 11. make me feel - janelle monáe // 12. titanium - david guetta feat. sia // 13. cities in dust - siouxsie and the banshees // 14. lovesong - the cure // 15. mamma mia - abba // 16. hammer to fall - queen // 17. whatever it takes - imagine dragons // 18. we are family - sister sledge

Star Trek Into Darkness

19. true love - p!nk, lily allen // 20. ever fallen in love (with someone you shouldn’t’ve?) - buzzcocks // 21. princess of china - coldplay, rihanna // 22. the end of the line - the offspring // 23. blue monday (cover) - health // 24. map of the problematique - muse // 25. leave out all the rest - linkin park // 26. bring me to life (synthesis) - evanescence // 27. spaceman - the killers // 28. i’m still standing - elton john

Star Trek Beyond

29. the greatest - sia, kendrick lamar // 30. 25 or 6 to 4 - chicago // 31. shadow of the day - linkin park // 32. i won’t back down (cover) - johnny cash // 33. under pressure - queen, david bowie // 34. times like these - foo fighters // 35. holding out for a hero - bonnie tyler // 36. sledgehammer - rihanna // BONUS 37. a sky full of stars - coldplay

I have a two-pages word file detailing the reasons for each song choice, so if you have questions, hit me up!

[lenievi]

wait ok so. can you expand on how you went into tos to get more background/material for mccoy/kirk, but came out of it shipping spones? only if you want to, of course!! i just think it's funny bdndjs

it’s funny, and a year later I’m still here thinking how did this happen? lol 

So last year in April I watched all three AOS films for the first time. Before that I saw a scene between McCoy and Kirk on youtube - the one where they drink Chekov’s whiskey - and I really liked what I saw, so I was like let’s watch all films to see more of their relationship. So I watched the films in two days and came out of them liking McCoy/Kirk. And McCoy ended up my fave.

And then I looked for fics and I was surprised to learn it was actually one of the most popular ships, and it surprised me because I’ve never heard anyone talking about it ever. Not even after 2009 film was released, I only remember people being very negative about Spock/Uhura and that was the reason I never watched the film in 2009 because fandom can make things sour. (But I also thought the reboot was some weird Academy AU and I didn’t want to watch that either lol)

So I read some fics and a lot of them were written after 2009, so the authors were imagining them on the five-year mission and took stuff from TOS. And obviously, Tarsus IV is very prevalent in Kirk’s backstory in AOS fics. And there were other things, some McCoy things, that I wanted to know more about, so after like three weeks of reading fics, I decided to watch TOS.

You have to understand that until April 2020, the last time I watched TOS was in 2002/2003 and the only character I remembered was Scotty. Before AOS, in 2019, I watched Discovery. (So yeah, I went Discovery - AOS - TOS lol)

The thing is, though, that the short time reading AOS fics and looking through some old LJ communities, and just the general pop-culture awareness, made me think that McCoy doesn't actually have a big role in TOS, nor that McCoy and Kirk are close in it. That the show is only about Kirk and Spock.

So I was like, ok, at least I don’t have to watch 80 episodes and can just skip to episodes where McCoy has a prominent role (that’s the great thing about early tv shows because you can just skip episodes and lose nothing). But then I started watching and whatever I learned through osmosis, I threw out of the window because TOS was completely different from what the fandom made me believe (Amok Time was so different from what I expected lmao). So I mostly watched all episodes lol (I did skip the three McCoy isn’t in though)

Now, the beginning of season one has a lot of scenes between Kirk and McCoy. And I love them! But it also has pretty strong Kirk/Rand vibes, and my brain usually tends to shut down any potential shipping when that’s the case. Rand was written off pretty soon, though (a shame), but it also happened in a period where Spock and McCoy were given more scenes together.

I mentioned it before but I started to pay more attention to McCoy and Spock in (Dagger of the Mind) - Miri - The Conscience of the King - The Galileo Seven. (I actually wonder what my experience would be like if I watched in the Netflix order... because the ‘spones’ eps are separated) When I finished The Galileo Seven I reblogged a gifset with “10+ episodes in and I decided that McCoy and Spock’s interactions are the best thing about TOS”. After that based on my archive I was really into ‘spones’ but I never stopped liking McCoy&Kirk in tos, it just never evolved into “I ship them” 

I think the most hilarious thing is that I basically started to watch TOS for mckirk background and especially for The Conscience of the King because it has the Tarsus IV background, and it was that episode that made me go 👀 when it came to McCoy and Spock, and The Galileo Seven sealed the deal lmao

Even today The Conscience of the King is one of my fave episodes for Spock/McCoy interaction~

But overall, I just fell for Spock/McCoy so completely it’s not even funny lol