#anyways. yeah idk I like the blog to be about my art and I'm used to people asking me a LOT of questions about EDS or disability or canes

[deoidesign]

I’m a trans man that recently got diagnosed with hyper mobile eds, so now seeing Steve makes me extra happy, because cool disabled ftm rep. Thanks for making the radical dude bro, he’s funky.

same disability (waving hand emoji)

Always extremely fulfilling to know my work makes people happy in some small way, it means a lot. Thank you for sharing with me

[neverendingford]

.

[askthefamous8]

Even if I haven't been very active lately, 9 years is still pretty significant- happy birthday to the blog!

So like Percy up there I'm gonna do so dome reflecting. This blog's where I've often done that for some reason, but here's the tl'dr for blog related stuff.

• I would like to keep drawing stuff but feeling generally unsure in myself, and I'm wondering if all the years of fandom harrassment have caught up with me • I have one big project in mind, I've been dipping my toe into what I'd need to do it. No spoilers but it was one of the first things I played around with this series, so do with that what you will • If I can keep myself drawing, I want to use more of the original source material since I'm struggling with original ideas. So stuff like redraws, hOpEfULlY even animatics, just like what originally got me so into trains yknow? Because that's fun and sparks joy. And that always goes down a treat with you guys so bonus • As always I appreciate you guys not coming after me for being so inconsistent

The rest of this is me doing what Percy's doing in the drawing and reflecting, as there is indeed much 2 think about. It's also a little sad and venty so, there's your warning there.

.

Ok so obviously a busy year, we moved into our new house that we actually own, I spent most of the year planning our wedding, and then got married. Big stuff. Also! I came off antidepressants in the summer. I've been on them for...basically as long as this blog, 6 months after I started it I think. Which also means I'd been on antidepressants my entire adult life. Feels like a big deal and I guess I'm still adjusting.

Another big thing, but sad, is that my dog died about two weeks ago. If you follow me on twitter you'll have seen her but she did make an appearance here a few Halloweens ago

I got her when she was 13 and had her 8 years after that. So that's been difficult. Unrelated to that (probably), but I just feel...really mediocre. And before you point out the obvious, this has been present even before I came off antidepressants. But yeah just... mediocrity. In myself as a person, how I look, what I draw, my whole life really (barring my marriage thankfully). What have I achieved? I'm 26, I'm not working, I don't feel well, my art isn't good (I don't think so anyway- like yeah it's technically fine I guess but it's not, and has never been, very stand-out or impressive). And lately art doesn't bring me the same joy it once did, and I'm wondering if all the years of harrassment from this fandom (mostly the twitter side, tumblr's been pretty good to me) has finally caught up with me and put me off the whole thing. Or worse, that I just don't have as much of an interest in it anymore. I don't think I'll ever be like "ok yep I'm officially done with this blog" because I'm so stubborn but idk. I want to make things and be creative, I want to make more train art, but it doesn't feel the same. I don't know what's wrong. What do you listen to? What you want vs what you feel? I still enjoy train stuff, I love going to Awdry Ex every year. It's been like this for awhile. It's not even like I have a strong feeling of what I'd rather be doing as far as careers go. And even if I did, oh yeah I'm sure my two degrees in animation will be very relevant in another field (sarcasm). I feel adrift. My sails are open but there is just no wind. Planning my wedding gave me something to do and work on and just, feel useful but now that that's over I feel lost again. Losing my dog, who had become the center of my life because of how vulnerable she had become, hasn't helped.

On the more creative side of things, I also don't really know what to do with this blog's story either. The show's ended as far as most people are concerned, and I kiiinda wrote myself into a corner because once Thomas turns 18 he's going to leave for university, and that sets off this whole arc with James but basically the problem is it involves characters leaving and for some reason that feels like a no-no here. Don't get me started on the timeline lol. But Thomas works on a railway on Sodor, that's how it has to be...right? I guess I'm sort of at a crossroads of, ok do I want this to be close to the source material, and thus easily digestible to newcombers? Or do I want to make it more and more my thing and distanced from the source material? I doubt there's many new people coming since the series ended. And even then, there's a lot more humanization artists around now than when I started, so it's not like I'm filling a niche anymore. Just to be clear it's fine and also good that there's more humanization artists, variety is good, I just don't feel as "needed" anymore (which is 100% in my head and not an actual role that belongs to me or something). I started this blog when I was 17, so my interests and what I relate to have changed obviously. The character designs certainly have. It's never followed a super rigid story plan, but the core of it has always been the central cast doing things on Sodor. I however have always had a scene/project/animatic/whatEver in mind for when this 'series' would '''officially''' ''''end''''. But then what comes after that? I've always tried to run this blog like they are Real People that You interact with. But in real life there is no ending to the story, there's always more stuff to come. You get married, and it's wonderful, and then life goes on. The credits never roll. So maybe that's what I'm having trouble coping with...the progression of time. Ah, my old nemesis. I've always had trouble with letting go of things. There's nothing to say that I couldn't still draw stuff after the series "ends". I guess any story after Thomas leaves could be like... a sequel series or a spin off or something. Spin-off of a spin-off. Famous 8 All Grown Up. Famous 8 Qurter Life Crisis. Who knows. I certainly don't.

I've also been really into an original project unrelated to this but those don't get as much attention and while I'd like to do something with it one day, I don't feel very confident in being able to make that happen right now. But you know... as far my as art not being super spectacular goes... I think my individual talent has always been is my ideas, like the writing side of things. And then brought to life with my art, which normally isn't anything to write home about but is good enough to convey the idea and be not-awful to look at, lifts both of them beyond what they were individually. Maybe that's what I should focus on. Maybe that's wishful thinking.

So....idk. Idk what I'm doing but I'm trying to be gentle on myself and just let myself continue to drift, to heal from this heavy loss, and then in the New Year I'll try and pick myself up. Then there will be no more big once-in-a-lifetime events coming up, no more just-moved-into-a-house-and-oh-no-there's-a-bunch-of-things-that-need-attention-NOW scenarios, and no more big holidays for awhile. I guess we'll see.

If you read all of this I am so sorry but also thank you for reading my ramblings. And thank you for being around, whether that's been for a few months or for several years, but especially if it's been several years

[lets-try-some-writing]

“When I use such themes, I tie it in with either a good story or unique lore. But the fandom just kinda... throws it around for funsies? Idk it just bothers me as a person who cares very deeply about things having meaning and design. Feels a lot like chugging a pixie stick when there's a ton of such themes getting thrown around. I would much prefer a more delicately devised art piece, personally.” HUH??? Yeah, sometimes there will be people who throw sexual themes around for “funsies” because sex is FUN. Even PWP (porn w/o plot) has a meaning and design without necessarily having an overarching story or lore. It could be a character study, an expression of the author’s sexuality, etc. Just because a piece is overtly sexual does not mean it isn’t a delicately devised art piece, either. Not to be mean, but saying half the fandom just “sits there and drools” and that it throws themes around for “ funsies” while praising the way you use such themes comes across as condescending. I understand being overwhelmed with sexual content when that’s not your cup of tea or it’s everywhere, but honestly TF isn’t any more over saturated with sexual content than most fandoms in my experience, and there are PLENTY of creators that tie a good story and lore in with sexual themes. IDK where you get the idea that the fandom is just “throwing sexual themes around”, and even if they were, that doesn’t mean they don’t care about meaning and design in their work like you implied. Things get thrown around in art all the time, like a Pollock painting (for lack of a better example). You don’t have to like the painting, but to downplay the work and care someone put into their art is rude. Like idk if you meant it like that but tbh it came off as really patronizing.

Sweetheart, darling, my dear anon with far too much time, this is an angst blog. I am a small time writer giving my opinions on my blog in response to an ask game intended to get people riled up. I appreciate your commentary and the sheer amount of mental gymnastics you had to jump through in order to get offended over my personal takes and experiences regarding something that was in no way related to you. However, I am going to have to politely suggest you find something else to do with your time.

If you dislike my take so much, prove me wrong! Write that NSFW fic that is burning a hole in the back of your brain and be the change you want to see in this world. You've got this mate! Maybe block me and move on since you seem to be feeling a bit called out?

Anyway, I'm going to get back to writing angst now. Thanks for making my day all the more amusing.

[moonsofmachinery]

So this isnt a pride req but you still don't have to answer!! But how do you draw so quickly?? I swear you draw like 2-4 times a day? I wanna get on a really good schedule about that so I can keep up with a art blog but idk how to draw fast! How'd you do it?

I hope it helps If I go over my entire process here because I've been wanting to showcase my process for awhile anyways :}

Haha! Yeah, i usually try and draw ~4 things min a day. Now, let me clarify, to run an art blog you don't have to draw fast! I do try and take breaks if I need them!!! But a lot of my speed has to do with the fact I've just been in a very art-inclined mood as of late :} It's a lot easier to draw if you WANT to draw! and knowing people like my stuff is a huge motivator.

Long post below where I explain my process and some of the shortcuts I take!! :]

For more skill-based tips though, my method definitely helps. Drawing lineless and paying attention to my stabilizer helps a lot. I'm definitely not a perfectionist when it comes to my art and I do tend to reuse poses I KNOW im comfortable with if I'm not in the mood to go all out.

I sketch freely with loose stabilizer using a pencil-like pen that allows me to get a good idea of the details I want down... Ex:

I have a very good grasp on the way i draw slugcats and how their bodies are shaped! Depending on the characters you're drawing, you should try drawing them a TON to get to a point where you can sketch them without even looking at a ref of any kind. My designs tend to stay consistent as I have a solid idea of each slugcat in my mind! It helps me pace myself as I generally don't need refs! :}

Next, I blot out my main body shape. I then, using a clip layer, add in lines and line in limbs! Generally I do this all in the same colour, get the main shapes down before you add detail and all that...

I blot out different regions of my character in different colours and section off areas to ensure I can later select these and go over them! Doing lineless helps me a ton as I don't use a lot of layers! it's just the style im more used to :}

Lastly, I add in my colours and adjust places where I can adding in all markings and details and recolouring where I need to! I use the selection wand to help me and I also use clip layers.

The details are relatively easy for me, most of the time its just getting to doodle whatever I want to make the colour combo look the best I can!!! :} The final result of this one will be posted on its own, but I just use CSP tools to add an outline-- I'm not sure if you use Clip Studio Paint, but if you do, you can use the effect feature!

Its just a little thing I add to make my drawing pop against the background!!!! :D

Anddd thats how I pump out art at an inhuman rate! Drawing is one of the few things I can do without my chronic pain kicking my ass so a lot of my day is spent at my computer cozy n' arting! Drawing for too long does cause fatigue in anyone though! I reccomend listening to something engaging in the background (if your attention can take it) and taking regular breaks every ~15-30 minutes.

This piece took me 30 minutes?? maybe a little more! I hope this gave you what you were lookin for :D!!!!! I wish u well in ur art blog n' make sure not to stress urself!!!!!

[oh-no-its-bird]

YOU!!!!!!

[Grabs you by the collar and shakes you]

Youuuuu...

I was scrolling around at way too late at night and saw one of your posts, and I love your posts, so I went to your blog, and bing bada boom, I see the Izuna in Wonderland post and I read through it. I enjoy the writing and the ideas and the art (how dare you be good at both writing and art (affectionate)) and I reach the end and that last drawing.

The one where Madara is like "oh yeah only the Senju could heal u so we have a peace treaty with them now-" That fucking drawing of Madara, has grabbed my by the balls and refused to let go, what the fuck.

He looks so fucking soft and sleepy but like in an unhealthy sick Victorian child way. He looks like he would tell me not to go to school tomorrow bc he likes me but I'd go anyway bc what he really means is like hey take a mental health day bc school is hell, he's just too sleep deprived to realize(care) how evil he sounds. He looks like he either has hair the texture of burnt straw or the fluffiest softest hair imaginable, no in between. He looks like he gives great hugs but could (and would and has) also use those hugs to suffocate someone to death. He looks like a sneeze could kill him and also he is the creator of every virus known to man.

It's the fucking soft yet untamed hair, the creasing and maybe slight puffiness around his eye, the slight coloring (redness I assume) to his nose, the sweat that might be nervousness, might be him having literally worried himself sick at his brother's side and now he has a fever.

I already liked the way you drew Madara, I like all your Madara drawings, but for some reason, this one broke something in me and I can't stop myself from wanting to write fanfiction while spinning this specific Madara around in my head like a rotisserie chicken. Idk if what I'm saying makes sense, it's late, I'm tired, I barely slept last night. I just want you to know that this Madara drawing now lives in my head rent free and if I ever get around to writing the various TobiMada fics in my head, this is how I will imagine him.

Also, love how draw Hashirama too. He looks like a Mii character that got ROM hacked to have a Battle Cats face. And also how grumpy and low effort Tobi looks in here too, his more detailed design is great too. Also I like how you draw Izuna- BASICALLY, I LOVE ALL YOUR CHARACTER DESIGNS, THIS ONE JUST BROKE ME FOR SOME REASON. I'M GONNA STOP WRITING NOW, I NEED TO SLEEP.

I'm fucking crying actually thank you??????? Nicest thing anyone's ever told me about my stuff, I'm gonna explode wtf

Also I can tell you haven't slept in a while so oh my god go do that

Pls take this quick Madara in thanks, I tried to do my best to draw him how I did in the Izuna in Wonderland comic but idk if I did him justice

I've been struggling to find a good way to draw him consistsntly, so I will internalize what u have told me and try to keep that sickly Victorian man energy going forward

[frownyalfred]

okay the extent to which your amazing fucking fics are possibly infecting every corner of my brain now is starting to get legitimately concerning,,, which isn't actually news, but what IS new is the way i looked at that one BvS gif you just blogged yesterday?? and IMMEDIATELY saw the facial expression ben affleck made and went "WOMAN!!!"

....LOOK MAYBE I'M THE CRAZY ONE HERE, I GET IT OKAY but like,, something about that bitchy expression where you just KNOW he's saying the pettiest fucking line just then?!?! i swear on my life i have NEVER seen a cis man's face do that before, with the CLOSEST approximation i possibly would have thought anybody with a Y chromosome was capable of [before seeing that gif] being the sort of expressions drag queens do. (i hope that doesn't sound too weird/dismissive — not to go off on too much of a tangent, but i could probably write At Least one essay on why it's okay to admit that drag as an art form is not really an accurate depiction of femininity, AS LONG AS you acknowledge that drag is still Absolutely a beautifully, passionately written love letter TO the concept of femininity that fully deserves the appreciation it gets; but this is still not what i'm actually here to talk about lol)

okay yeah ANYWAYS that gif just absolutely SOLD me on the concept of bruce as an omega, and i'm saying this as someone who literally already has an omega!bruce WIP!! like, i've always thought the core philosophy behind batman tends to make him unintentionally very female-coded (and i must confess, i'm really curious to see whether you already have an opinion on this lol) in many different ways, but this is the first time i've seen/heard ANY GUY, let alone a batman actor with the right physicality to be batman, pull of this specific look, so i guess i'm just... shocked to be vindicated??? idk lol but i wanted to share so hope u at least enjoyed my manic ramblings a little bit <3 -krish

Batfleck is pretty! I've been saying that for years! He's this very intriguing mix of pure Batman physicality like you mentioned (man is canonically bigger than Clark in BVS) but also so beautiful and downright mesmerizing in certain close-ups on his face. Plush lips, high cheekbones, big, shining eyes? On Batman?? Sign me up!!

People laughed at me when I specifically started a coral room in the BVS universe, because I know most superbat a/b/o fics generally use a smaller, more omega-typical Bruce (which isn't bad!). But I wanted to challenge the trope stereotype by still having large, muscular Bruce lean into those more feminine moments like you mentioned -- it's an interesting contrast, seeing him hold so much space and power yet as soon as he makes eye contact with Clark, it's almost...sensual.

I think there are a lot of interesting stereotypical female roles Batman as a character unintentionally fulfills. He's the head of a family, the emotional center, the one adopting children, the one reassuring them. The fun I'm having with a sky of honey is just letting Bruce name these behaviors for what they are, in universe -- attempts at fulfilling his instincts that he keeps trying to curtail or avert entirely.

(gif in question below for those who are curious)

[mushroomsie224]

Hello!

Hi, I'm Nox. I'm a big fan of Percy Jackson and Sofia the First. I mostly just draw (all my art is posted with the tag #nox draws), but I also occasionally post one-shots, currently just for Sofia the First because I'm most comfortable writing for that at the moment.

Other media I like: Jackson's Diary, My Little Pony, Fairly Oddparents (the new show specifically), Elena of Avalor, How to Train Your Dragon, Tangled, and Good Omens.

Other interests: baking, crochet, reading, writing, psychology, also a mild interest in history, linguistics, random specific branches of biology...

You can send me drawing requests in my asks, and I'll try drawing them as long as they don't make me uncomfortable (no NSFW please). I'd prefer drawings of shows/books/movies/webtoons that I like, of course.

EDIT: because i have to study, please do forgive me if i take a while with whatever you request. sorry </3

I like receiving asks about mostly anything, especially if it's related to Sofia the First. I'm bored, okay?

I have a sideblog @allthestfstuff where I reblog mostly Sofia the First fanart. Wanted to dedicate a blog to my little fanart collection <3

You can use my art as your profile picture wherever, provided you credit me.

On the topic of tagging me in posts:

I don't mind tagging, but do keep in mind that my energy is too low most-days so I might not give a response. But like...tag me in whatever. Tag games, minecraft post, whatever. I like that.

However, please don't tag me in a Sofia the First discussion post unless it might be related to me for real (for example if you're replying to something I said or maybe something related to a post of mine idk) because I am too tired to participate in too many discussions and it stresses me out because I don't want people to think I'm mad or something if I don't reply...and I end up finding most of those posts anyways so yeah... /nm

DO NOT REPOST MY ART WITHOUT PERMISSION. I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN. IF YOU'RE BRAVE ENOUGH TO REPOST YOU'RE BRAVE ENOUGH TO ASK FIRST.

Generally telling hateful people to fuck off doesn't cause them to fuck off. So instead of a DNI, I just want to say that:

I DO NOT LIKE NOR SUPPORT homophobia, transphobia, islamophobia, ableism, pedophilia, zoophilia, or the use of generative AI in art and writing.

Added note that I'd rather that blogs that mostly post NSFW content don't interact with me since I'm a minor.

[bewareofdeaddove]

hello! since this is a discourse blog, introducing myself isn't a priority, but i'll do it anyway.

you can call me whatever name you want on this blog. i'm a minor. i use it/its pronouns. i will provide tw tags simply: no "tw" or "cw", just, for example, "blood" or "queerphobia". please block tags you're uncomfortable with!

i have no dni; i believe in fostering open and good faith discussion on this blog, as that's the point of making it! telling me to kill myself will get you blocked.

as a quick tl;dr before i conveniently list out some of my opinions: i am against harrassment and censorship, and i don't care what people decide to write fanfiction about or draw.

i am wholly against any form of harrassment. this includes calling people pedos for fictional ships, telling people to kill themselves, and anything else. if you really hate someone's posts, complain in private with your friends like everyone else does, don't harrass people.

i am wholly against censorship. media, no matter how bad or "irredeemable", always has a right to exist. all art has inherent value.

i don't judge people's morals over fictional content. as long as whatever you're posting is tagged properly and can be blocked if neccessary, it's not my business.

fiction and reality are not equal, but do have some effect on each other. i, of course, have issues with trends in media that, for example, downplay abuse and sexualize/"adult-ify" teenagers, but fanfiction is, like, the very end of that chain. it doesn't affect anyone. because of that, i don't care about it.

i don't care what you make if it doesn't hurt anyone, but being a bigot in your fiction does hurt people. the way people behave towards fictional characters, i.e. racist comments towards characters of color, can still be bigoted. it doesn't hurt the characters (obviously) but it does hurt real people, and that's where i draw the line.

i only have an issue with fanworks when they begin to perpetuate actual, real-life bigotry. this leads into my next point...

what are your personal limits regarding fiction?

aren't you basically pro-ship, then? well, yeah, i guess. i don't identify with the pro-ship label for many reasons, though. most of all, though, i don't want people to put words in my mouth; i have no desire to be called a pedophile because of the pro-ship label. i have no desire to have people assume that i want terrible things to happen in real life over internet discourse. i will never tolerate these accusations, and i don't use the label in order to avoid the possibility. you can call me whatever you want, though.

i don't particularly like anti-shippers. this is mostly from experience. i have been deeply entrenched in anti-ship communities, and i have come to only think one thing of them: the people themselves have good intentions, but the mindsets they foster are incredibly harmful. i'm open to discussion about this.

i avoid anti-shippers because of their tendency to harrass people, also. like... big tendency. community-built-on-the-idea level tendency. pro-shippers also harrass people, which is another reason i choose not to label myself as one. this i know from experience.

as a general rule, i am uncomfortable with:

shipcest

minor/adult ships

lolisho content (i have complex feelings on it, but i'm just uncomfortable with it as a whole and ask that it not be brought up with me)

rpf, but i only draw a hard line at rpf of minors and generally tolerate everything else, however begrudgingly.

i am fine with:

aging up underage fictional characters

selfcest (although i usually call it selfslash for comfort)

"rpf" of fictionalized versions of real-life people, like idk, hamilton characters.

just about anything else, honestly. we'll see about specifics.

in addition, my boundaries for this blog are as follows:

i will not respond to anon hate, including anything with death threats or anything accusing me of, like, being a pedo.

i will try not to reblog from people who have neutrals in their dni (as that's what i consider myself), but i don't really check dni pages, so i might make mistakes in that regard.

i will not reveal personal information about myself to justify my opinions.

[exandrothinadresseveryday]

um um um I'm back and I decided to analyze your art cause I really admire it :')

Honestly, I've noticed you use the same line width, if not similar line widths throughout the entire piece, which makes the dresses easier to swallow compared to how some artists draw, and I also think it goes perfectly with the overall simplicity of your art! While it is rather simple, it is also rather easy to add details into it to make it much more fun to do and gorgeous to look at.

I also love how you color things, as it is also pretty simple and goes with the line art, but it's also really easy to add details that you can overlook but still add to the drawing! Not even to mention how well the background goes with the outfits, especially in cases like the black hole dress or the white and blue angel dress (which both look amazing and are easily some of my favorite pieces ever)

Anyways once more, your art looks gorgeous and has given me so much inspiration and insight into my own art and how I can better it, as well that keeping things simple can totally help my art a ton!!!

um anyways sorry for the paragraphs but tysm for making the blog, it has cheered me up multiple times before and it probably will do it again countless times <33

This is so freaking cool to read, you absolutely hit the nail on the head with some of these comments :D Hope you don't mind if I add some insight on my part since it's so lovely idk if I could post it without anything to say.

But yeah, my usual choice in brush is literally a default CSP brush with the pen pressure turned off, and it tends to be 6-12px wide? There's nothing particularly special about it other than drawing with a smaller brush size helps me keep my canvas roughly the size I like (since I alter it each drawing), and I'm not a big fan of line weight in general lol. I'm definitely not the kind of person who will swear by a special custom brush or specific settings, I've always been the kind of person who will just make art with whatever the fuck I'm given.

If I can be honest, a lot of the time I just wing it with colours and the background- so you don't see it but there's a lot of me trying to slap a bandaid on a leak I created by not planning ahead. Sometimes things go smoothly, other times it doesn't.. For the record, an artwork will turn out wayyy nicer when you have a complete idea of what it's meant to look like. Do not aim to emulate me 100% I am but a fool in the grand scheme of things.

ANYWAYS, you wanna know something fucked up that might make ppl look at my art differently? This is my process for the latest drawing I did. I took my sketch, I drew it over it digitally and inked it, THEN I overlayed the sketch because I liked how it messed with my colours-

I paint OVER the artwork, realised my sloppy colouring makes the bottom part stand out so I add a shadow trying to adjust for this, decided I needed the artwork to be 100x more vibrant so I upped the contrast a bajillion times..

Then the rest was just shit i painted over:

I didn't even have lineart for the angel dress.. Check out this freak shit:

Have fun guessing what part of my artwork is what now,,,

[scoutbert]

Heyy idk if anyone here remembers me or cares but I figured I'd make a little life update just in case. And if not, maybe I'll just look back on it in a few years and smile.

I've had this blog for about ten years now. I was a freshman in high school when I began. It was memes, fandom, and the occasional depression. I even posted some pretty dark stuff a LOT of the time because I felt like I had nowhere else to vent.

Now I am 24. Twenty four!! I can't believe it. I lived!

I've been homeless, I've been traumatized. Went through a lot of stuff! If you like to feel sad and lurk, feel free to check out my tags for more context, haha. Some of it is pretty triggering and downright toxic so yeah take care of yourself.

But yeah. Twenty four. Sheesh. I am in a much better place now. I have an apartment with some friends and my partner. We have a little dog. I got a new car that I don't have to live in anymore. I work gigs like food delivery and dog walking. Money is always tight, but what else is new?

I still have a little problem with the booze and the weed, but I'm not searching for ways to destroy myself anymore. I don't seek chaos just because that's where i felt the most normal.

I'm learning to be okay with peace. And mediocrity. I used to- well, still do sometimes- compare myself to everyone I knew my age, people who had support systems I could never dream of, who went to college, and found their dream job. Who never wanted for anything. Always smiling.

I learned that it's not a competition. Life, that is. As long as I wake up every morning, I call that a win. It doesn't matter that this person from school makes six figures and already has a house and a kid. I get to wake up and walk dogs and look at trees and flowers, and I get to come home all sweaty and take a hot shower and make a sandwich. That's enough for me, for now. Much better than couch surfing and showering at planet fitness and eating gas station sandwiches.

Anyway. At the risk of overdoing it, I just wanna say thanks Tumblr. You were my anonymous diary for years. I received support from strangers I can never repay. I laughed at memes, made art, got in arguments about stupid shit.

I'm not leaving! Just expressing gratitude I never had. I am no longer full of hate. Just a morsel now, haha. There will always be a part of me that is bitter about everything I had to go through, and embarrassed at how I handled it. But I did my best and most people met me where I was at and accepted me anyways, even when I wasn't at my best. Thank you.

If I ever hurt you or exhausted you, thank you, and I am sorry.

Anyway. Yeah. Thanks. I'm doing okay. Good, even. Now that I'm not in crisis constantly- and I was in crisis for the better part of those ten years- I think I will find something I am passionate about, and work at exploring it. That sounds nice. :)

[quillkiller]

for the hot takes thing:

idk if they are hot takes on this blog tbh because the tumblr fandom has messed up my perception of what is popular and what is not but anyway here they are

i do not give a fuck about dorlene. i cant see it. it very often seems like forced lesbian representation to me. like, oh, lets throw them in here so that people dont say maybe i should have some sapphic women in my art if im trying to write about the queer experience. i read only one fic in my entire life that made them interesting and fleshed out characters. usually they are incredibly boring and i dont like it

marauderstok makes me a gatekeeper. i hate gatekeeping but then i see someone on tiktok talking about bartylily or sunkiller or moonrose or peter x barty and i just cant deal with that. they dont get them!!!! i dont even like most of these ships that much but i have moots that do and im overly protective of their blorbos. those people on tiktok dont understand bartylily!!! they are just into it cause it seems weird and unusual!! they dont see the vision of the pure hatred between barty and james that turns into sexual tension! they dont understand why barty would fall in love with peter and they try to make all of these ships into sketches!!! they are not!! those are my children youre talking about!!!

i am not a james fan tbh. probably because of how long ive hated him for. when i was a child and read hp for the first time the scenes with snape made me despise the guy. i spent years trying to explain to people that yes maybe he changed but he was still a terrible bully and nothing can ever excuse that. it got so bad my mom banned me from talking about james potter in our house because ive just said the same things over and over. 9yearold me was very determined. i know that all the marauders were involved but somehow it only affects my relationship with james. i know it unlogical but i just dont like him

on the topic of marauders and sev. i HATE the way fandom acts about it. acknowledge that your favorite characters were flawed! they weren't good people! what the fuck do you mean "i'm proud of james for bullying snape! someone had to do it. snape was just so bullyable"?? snape was a 11year old kid who was incredibly abused at home!!

again on the topic of severus. if i see one more joke made about his hair i'm going to go insane. are you guys aware that sometimes children are neglected so bad that their parents don't teach them things that are obvious to most of us, like how to wash your hair? have you heard about this concept of people not caring about their child and not buying them hygiene products? have your heard about poverty? have you heard about not having enough money to provide your child with all the things they need, including shampoo?

sorry for all that about sev. i am just very passionate about the way he's treated in this fandom. on the topic of characters being treated poorly by the fandom - dumbledore. some people truly believe that it's all his fault which is just so weird to me. he's obviously a deeply flawed man who made a lot of mistakes and i don't necesserily like him but i think we can all acknowledge that he's not the one who killed lily and james? like. he should've fought harder for sirius, obviously, but he didn't murder dorcas. he's not the ultimate villain that people make him out to be

i realise this is more about the fandom than the characters itself and i apologize it's just what's currently on my mind

whew lets get into it……

agreed. they often feel like the token lesbians that are just. already there. so might aswell just throw them into the story lmao and they wont have to flesh them out. i like my own version of dorlene, but yeah :/ people just aren’t interested in lesbians but what else is new

PEOPLE ON TIKTOK ARE TALKING ABOUT BARTLILY ????? jesus…………..

honestly i respect this so much... your mom banning you from talking about james made me laugh out loud…… Mad Respect

honestly. im very grey in this area. i like making fun of his hair unfortunately, but in other contexts i also think sevs greasy hair has a swaggy seductive lesbian flair. depends on how he’s being characterized. i saw a post today that was like ’cant help but laugh at people being angry about people objectifying fictional characters when they’re fundamentally dependant on being objects’ which i fully agree with. it’s part of litterature and film making that the (im gonna talk in film terms bc im a film student) that the mise-en-scene is an active choice, meaning that the way characters are dressed and presented is meant to, on purpose, reveal things about said characters. and often its driven by stereotypes that the audience has. severus is meant to look like a loser because he’s portrayed like a loser / and as someone who will be the victim of bullying. its simply the way his characters is canonically written and portrayed, and writers and viewers pick up on that. also im unfortunately one of the people who think bullying fictional characters is funny. it’s fictional and fandom, and never once have i stumbled upon a person who can’t balance the made-up fandom rules regarding fictional characters and their actuail real life morals. not saying these people don’t exist, but i certainly don’t kiki with them. fandom just doesnt affect real life issues in way some people sometimes seem to think. im personally a severus Lover and his biggest hater depending on the setting/hc’s/etc

i love albus, but i love him because i genuinely think he’s despicable. im not interested in his supposed reedming qualities and i personally dont think he has any….. he allowed teenagers to fight his wars and canonically didnt deny that he doesnt care for harry / and that he raised him like a pig for slaughter. its what makes him interesting. his childhood and early adult years make him one of the most fascinating characters in the fandom.. like i have so many feelings about him. he breaks my heart, he’s awful, he believes he’s good because he has good intentions, he yearns after grindelwald all his life and it was a 2 month summer romance, he killed his sister, his brother barely speaks to him. he’s a tragedy, but still despicable…… but i respect your opinion so much king thank you for sharing

MWAH loved these, thank you…. 🤍🤍

[fellissuffering]

About the creator (and Fell of course!)

I am a Pansexual, Non-binary person using Ne/Nem/Nemself pronouns and I am a MINOR, please do not ask anything nsfw related to me or the character please..

Along with that, I may be busy as I obviously have school, but I will try to answer any asks if I'm not busy!

And I may ignore any asks if they're not SFW, sending actual death threats (geez I hope not-) and other! And I'm also catholic..idk why I have to say that tbh-

And I do not know how to draw...so if you want to see art, sorry but that ain't happening pal.

Anyways...onto Fell now hehe

" sup..names fell, I go by he/they. u h, I'm aroace and absolutely have no idea what to do in life. may have depression or some other shit..uh, what else? "

" oh yeah, I might also kick yo ass if you're a fucking bitch. that's all. "

Edit!

Additional character in the blog:

Underfell Papyrus! Aka Currant! (Fell might change his name..not too sure..)

His text sample is a little like this:

" GREETINGS! I AM THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE CURRANT! AND MY BROTHER, UGH...'FELL'. "

" REALLY BROTHER, YOU SHOULD PICK ANOTHER NAME THAN THAT ONE. "

" Nuh uh bro. " " UGH.. "

[crimsonsharked]

you dont have to answer this ask but i'm just curious about it

but dont you write alessio as trans and without surgery? so whats wrong with the other person making their character trans? idk all the details or extents of everything but i'm just a little confused

like yeah if they're being transphobic then thats a fuckin problem and again idk the details so i'm sorry if i'm missing important things

but i just dont see how its weird if you write alessio as trans and without surgery and everything too but please correct me if i'm wrong or anything

regardless its stupid how people are sending you drama and i'm sorry you're being harassed with it

really the best thing to do is just block and black list and let them be weird and obsessed somewhere else

you're doing an amazing job with your blog and art and writing so dont let some idiots ruin your time here

anyways i just didnt know like how its weird that someone else writes a character as trans without surgery and you do the same but i'm probably missing things so i apologize if so

dont let me or anyone else annoy you with stupid drama and i hope you have a great day and please keep giving us more alessio and ambrosi!!

Addendum: I misread the first part: I don't care if people write trans characters, my specific issue with the aforementioned user is how they went about it as a fellow non-cis individual.

I don't have any issue with writing trans people without surgery or getting pregnant, the only reason I said it was oddly transphobic was because of how often and in the context a transmasc character is getting pregnant.

(warning for a looong rant)

I do not care if you sexualize trans bodies, I am transmasc myself, it's cathartic to me. However if your main sexual focus of the character is that he is trans and CAN get pregnant, that might be an issue.

It's not good, it's like focusing on a transfem person having a dick constantly and her being able to use that dick.

Again, I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with sexualizing trans bodies, nothing wrong with trans people getting pregnant or the ability to become pregnant, trans people can and do get pregnant. It's completely how you as a person talk about it and how you present it. If again you are constantly bringing up pregnancy for literally anyone in a sexual context, it's a fetish, and then you tack it onto a trans-masc person? that's a fetish.

This is a fetish: There was no reason to write this post like this. If it was worded differently I might have felt a different way but it's not

"My muse is transmasc and identifies as male. Uses He/Him and The/Them pronouns. They have not had top or bottom surgery. They can become pregnant."

If it was worded like that (not exactly) i'd feel differently.

I am all for exploring transness in a sexual space, but there's a hardline between kink, sexual, and an outright fetish. This applies to anyone EVEN if you are trans yourself. Like I'm black I can be racist to black people, if I call another black person a slur with intent to harm, I'm being racist. If a transperson says and does things that are harmful to the trans community they are being transphobic or at least hurtful.

"I'm not cis" isn't a good defense anymore, yes, you're not cis, so you should know better. My biggest issue with St0ls wasn't even THAT specifically, it's the constant dredging up of drama, after making several apologies REPEATEDLY, then doubling down on past actions and still bringing up people who want nothing to do with them. AKA ME. 2 weeks isn't enough to change. Change takes a long time, months, and years. This is coming from someone who was objectively a TERRIBLE friend and person to be around. I wouldn't have even brought up the entire fetish thing if I had never been brought it up. I'd have kept my thoughts to myself, when I say leave my black ass alone, I mean it.

Also, I do want to clarify I explore transness from the lens of a Black Trans person! So I write all my characters from that specific lens of growing up AFAB and being treated AS a man, and never a woman. So I tend to write Alessio being a transman but wanting to explore his feminity and sexual side of that!

[strangeaxel]

Hellooo I just found this blog 2 minutes ago, your art is amazing I love all of it you are so talented and I'm sorry if you've already gotten an ask like this but: You are actually so good at imitating rebornica's artstyle that it's probably impossible to tell it apart from their legit stuff, would you ever consider adding watermarks or something to your drawings just so people don't get confused? Their stuff is just so poorly documented i feel like your stuff could definitely get mixed up with theirs very easily and it doesn't really matter but still :sob: Again your art is amazing both your own style and the copycat style are so good you are a blessing to the interwebs thank you for posting!

Thanks for asking and remind me of this bc i actually thought about this A LOT. I have to plan on making a cool watermark that isn't ugly or ruin the drawings bc i don't want them to look idk...just ugly with the watermarks, i wanted to use my signature but I don't think that really works to promote my account either. I gotta plan on a cool watermark maybe tomorrow, this ask can help as a reminder tbh qwq!!

And thanks for much that you took the time to send me this with the compliments and also concerns which are also kind off compliments as well SNKD TuT

And yess like i said before rn I'll do it bc everytime i export my art i think about this and i never do. Im like "damn, should i...? it really needs it?" But now i think i know the answer. I'll try to make a cute watermark that's subtle so it doesn't ruin the drawing but you can also see it was made by me. Im 100% aware that Rebornica made TONS of fnaf art that unfortunately is probable not even a 10-20% of it has been recovered mostly from original posts/reblogs. Yesterday i found an cute n funny purplephone drawing rebornica made and it was something i have never seen ever before and i found it on pinterest so so yeah, in aware.

Anyways, thanks a lot for the message and the concern! I hope i can work on something tomorrow. Thanks for the compliment on my own style as well, i wanted to draw something on my own style with the reb guards these days but i keep forgetting, I'll see what i can do >_< <3!!

[riagraie]

I redesigned Hanna. I am so happy (80%) with it.

Which ofc means her pfp for the rp blog I run for her has been changed too. The blog is @hanna-oc-irl for those who don't know.

Uhh

Yeah

This is it

I'm only upset with it bc the head looks too big (I asked like 6 people and they said it was fine), the neck is a little off (to me at least, that or it's her jaw idk), and her eyes don't look correctly placed. But I was too far into the making to do anything about it.

Anyway. This is my original art, no bases or anything like that used. I even came up with the colors on my own lmao.

It took me 5 hours. I am cooked.

Also, her tattoo on her shoulder is the mark I mentioned in one of my lore dumps about Harmonizers that shows up to indicate they will be the next King/Queen. Since she's the last Harmonizer, it automatically landed on her. This is the mark without the warping n stuff

I went on Pinterest and found yinyang tattoo ideas and edited one that I found. So I guess kinda a base was used??

Idk

Uhh yeah. That's that. :3

I'm gonna go do all the school for last week and next week in 4 hours ✌️