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nagichi-boop · 28 days ago

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My Thoughts Prior to Sonic x Shadow Generations (mostly Dark Beginnings)

This won’t have much rhyme of reason to it, but I want to go over my thoughts of the episodes and some related information released prior to the game’s release. So this is sort of a mix of a review for Dark Beginnings and predictions based on that and the promotional information for the game? I may reblog this after playing the game to expand my thoughts, or I may just make a new post and reference this one if it’s relevant. Well, assuming I make a post about my thoughts on the game, anyways.

Since this will likely be rambly, I will put my thoughts under a cut so as not to clog your feed. I’ll try to organise my thoughts as cohesively as possible. I’ll start with the Dark Beginning episodes as they give the most story information, then I’ll go over a few thoughts from the promotional material.

Warning - Spoilers! (But also…this is a really long post lol)

Episode 1: Shadow and Maria

The first thing that stands out is, of course, Shadow and Maria’s relationship. Shadow is certainly more the anxious type, perhaps in part to Gerald informing him on Maria’s condition. But they have such a cute sibling relationship! It was also nice getting a glimpse into Maria’s sickness and how Shadow handles it, and how Maria shows concern for his insecurities and such. They look out for each other. And you can see just how deeply he cares about Maria. The fact he went out of his way to view the aurora borealis in the present day shows just how deeply he cared about her love of nature and how he carries that with him.

We learn a little bit more about Maria’s backstory. Not only is it confirmed that she has in fact been earth prior to living on the ARK (some people thought maybe she was born on the ARK or smth?), but we also learn that the reason being in space helps is because the gravity keeps her condition in remission. As a side note, I love seeing characters with invisible disabilities in media. Maria has the capacity to run if she wants, but it comes with consequences. As someone with an invisible chronic illness, I appreciate the representation! And it’s nice to see Shadow being gentle yet firm with her when he reminds her not to exert herself. And when he holds her hand before running off, you can see him gently squeezing her hand. He is so careful and caring with her.

I haven’t played Battle, but it was also nice to see them referencing older games by including Emerl. I get that Generations is all about revising the past, but it’s nice to see them bringing stuff all together.

After the glass shatters (which I interpret as time/space shattering?), we see Shadow fall into the cell Gerald is in. I can only imagine how Shadow felt being there with him in this vision, especially because he saw the firing squad shoot him. He almost seems pained by it with how he grabs his head. And then he of course falls into some void space after reaching out for Gerald. Again, I see this as the timeline breaking, especially because we see Maria’s death portrayed in the cloud/mist. Then we get that brief glimpse of Black Doom reaching out and grabbing Shadow, which leads him to believe Black Doom is back.

It’s also clear just how often Shadow thinks about and has nightmares about what happens, to the point he more or less knows the timelines of events. We really get to see how much his trauma affects him. I’ll touch on this a bit more later, but this feels like a really good depiction of PTSD and trauma. In the past few games, he hasn’t really seemed as affected by the events on the ARK, as if he has moved on. But that’s just it - he can’t completely move on from his trauma. Sure, he appears to have a better understanding and is better at coping with it (again, I’ll expand more on this as I go), but him relapsing feels like an accurate depiction of how someone with PTSD, CPTSD, or really any mental illness will go through ups and downs with their disorder.

You could argue that this wasn’t a nightmare and was a vision of sorts because of the timeline distorting, but he speaks as though he does get frequent nightmares. He is able to differentiate this situation from a nightmare presumably because he gets nightmares so frequently. He also mentions it happening in view of the ARK. I interpret this to mean he didn't fall asleep (especially given he is standing when he snaps out of it), but more like a trance-like state. Maybe he looked at the ARK while admiring the aurora and it started the vision?

It’s also pretty interesting that he seemed scared at the idea of Black Doom being back. When he had amnesia in ShTH, I guess he didn't have much of a reason to be scared of Black Doom. But he knows how powerful he is, and with his memories back, he knows fully what Black Doom’s influence is on his past - sharing his DNA and making an agreement with Gerald that Shadow would later collect the Chaos Emeralds for him. We know from the next episode that Shadow isn’t the most fond of his Black Arms DNA, so it makes sense that he is worried he will have to confront that part of himself…I’ll come back to this thought later. Even without that, it would be pretty disconcerting to think about a foe you defeated coming back, especially after a vision like that.

Episode 2: Finding the Way

We get another wonderful glimpse into Shadow’s past. It’s a bit more speculation, but it’s somewhat reasonable to assume that Maria is the only one who has a friendly relationship with him. Abe calls him a freak, and though Gerald created him, Maria is the one who gave a deeper meaning to his name. Maria and Abe were also friends, so I imagine that she at least tried to get him to like Shadow, but it obviously didn't work. Maybe because Maria was the only one saying nice things about Shadow? Given what he went on to do with Shadow’s memory following Maria’s death, I can’t imagine even Gerald had the closest relationship with Shadow. Correct me if I’m wrong, but we don’t really have anything canon to show that he cares much for Shadow as an individual versus as his science project. It makes sense that Shadow is so weary of others and why Maria’s death hurt him so much - she was the only one among many who cared about him personally.

We see more of Shadow’s insecurity and his struggles with his identity. He seems genuinely afraid because of his alien DNA. This once again makes me think that Gerald was very clear to Shadow about what his origins were and his purpose, but perhaps not much more than that. After all, Shadow doesn’t believe he has a place on earth. If Gerald really cared, I figure he would have talked to Shadow about going home with himself and Maria about going home together, and he would have dispelled Shadow’s fears about being a monster because of his DNA. Besides, Shadow’s negative perception of the Black Arms had to come from somewhere, right? This is speculation, of course, but I can’t find much to suggest Gerald cared much for him. It’s heartbreaking to think that because Gerald messed with his memories, he could have used the ARK to destroy all life on earth - not too dissimilar to what Black Doom wanted. Can you imagine the guilt Shadow feels by almost becoming the thing he feared so much?

In the midst of Shadow’s worry, we get to see Maria being a sisterly figure to him. I love this scene so much - I genuinely teared up when I first watched it. Anyways, we see that Shadow clearly struggles with his origins, but Maria doesn’t view him the way he does - he’s not the heartless monster he thinks he is. She genuinely listens to his concerns, and when she sees him become depressed over his origins, she immediately comforts him She sees that he genuinely cares, even if he struggles to express it. Autistic Shadow, yay! To her, it’s what Shadow does, not what he is, that makes him a good person. She was perhaps the only person to view him as more than just a science project. And despite him being viewed poorly by others, Maria sees that he cares for others. This is supported by a scene later as well as one in the third episode, but I’ll get to that.

Fast forward to modern day and yay, Team Dark! It’s interesting that their introduction comes after Maria says that Shadow will find more people he can trust, aka Rouge and Omega. (I’d also argue Sonic is someone Shadow trusts and maybe Amy too, but we ain’t talking about them right now.) We get to see Shadow and Rouge’s friendly relationship with one another. They may not be partners per se, but she greets him like a close friend that she’s comfortable with. He, in turn, shows curiosity about why she’s there without a hint of malice. They both openly share why they’re there, which is a testament to their trust in one another. He was listening but also making sure to watch out for dangers and saves her, much like he does for Maria in the first episode when she collapses. It’s in his nature to look out for others.

We then get to see a glimpse of his leadership. Sure, I don’t know if you can really say they’re strictly a team. As much as I love Team Dark, they seem to mostly team up due to convenience and circumstance, but he directly but respectfully gives them an order and they follow without hesitation because they trust and respect him. When they’re together, they work as one unit. It’s also nice to see all three of them being more than competent fighters.

The way Rouge teases Shadow about him going to Sonic’s birthday party in return for her help adds to the idea that they’re familiar with one another. You wouldn’t really speak that way, nor call a platonic friend “handsome”, unless you had a degree of familiarity and closeness with one another. If they weren’t friends, Shadow would have gotten mad at her multiple times throughout this scene. Instead, he sighs in a way that is interpreted as a reluctant yes (again, he doesn’t deny this, so it is more or less confirmed that he was agreeing to go).

We also get more confirmation that Rouge is a free/double agent. She doesn’t work for GUN, but she still works with them occasionally. She will team up with whoever it’s convenient to team up with. Of course, I like to think that her teaming up with Shadow in this instance is more her being a friend doing another friend a favour. She doesn’t really have a reason to help Shadow, and her request doesn’t personally benefit her. She’s helping Shadow because she cares about him. You quite literally see her eyes light up when she notices Shadow is there. This went from a boring intel mission to something more interesting to her.

Episode 3: To the ARK

This episode hurt me so much and made me lowkey worried that I’m gonna cry when playing Sonic x Shadow Generations.

First thing I noticed - Shadow smiling? I love that for him. I do appreciate we are seeing more of that with Shadow. He isn’t constantly brooding and miserable - he has a more casual and fun-loving side too. We also see that he has a somewhat similar view of GUN as Rouge does. They have both worked on behalf of GUN in the past in varying capacities, but whether or not they are on GUN’s side fluctuates depending on their goal. It’s what separates them from Team Sonic - they act according to their best interests and what their mission is.

I don’t have much to say about the fight. It’s epic of course, but I’ll talk about production and such later. I will say it’s funny to see they’re continuing to show how destruction-hungry Omega is. I also mentioned earlier that this episode has a scene where Shadow shows compassion for others - I was referring to him saving the GUN agent. Strictly speaking, this guy was in Shadow’s way and was attacking him, so he could’ve left him. But he saved him, possibly because he recognised that he wasn’t attacking out of a vendetta, but that it was his job to protect GUN’s machinery and assets. That and we get to see that Shadow can teleport small distances as a natural ability, not because of a Chaos Emerald.

When Shadow is under threat of the spacecraft he’s in being shot down, you can see the panic in Rouge’s face. Thankfully Abe comes in and tells the GUN forces to stand down, but it’s nice seeing how much she cares about Shadow. We know she cares of course, but she definitely has a soft spot for Shadow. There’s the scene in Heroes where she worries about Shadow not being the real one, which also showcases Omega’s wisdom and own compassion. Then in 06 we get to see her assuring Shadow that she’ll be on his side, even if the world turns against him. And now in this episode and the previous one, you see that she gently pushes him out of his comfort zone, has a genuine comradery with Shadow and Omega. Not just that though, she clearly understands Shadow very deeply as evidenced by her conversation with Abe.

From Abe’s point of view, it’s nice to see him genuinely wanting to connect with Shadow. He is remorseful for the way he treated Shadow in the past and wants to be trusted by him. And he clearly has implicit trust in him - he did let Shadow fly off in the spacecraft without even knowing what he was doing.

I will say one minor nitpick I have with this scene is what Rouge said. When Abe scolds Rouge for not talking Shadow down, she says that only one person who do that - Maria. You could argue that Sonic and Amy can both talk Shadow down, though. Amy was the one who convinced Shadow to help everyone steer the ARK away from earth. And in the IDW, Sonic talked Shadow out of hurting Mr Tinker (Eggman), even though his worries came true later on. I assume what Rouge meant though was the Maria is the only one he will trust wholeheartedly and follow unwaveringly. With Amy, he backed down because she reminded him of Maria’s true promise. With Sonic, his past was leveraged against him, and seeing how hard Shadow is on himself regarding his past mistakes, you could argue he backed off out of guilt rather than agreeing with Sonic.

And then…that scene plays. Shadow daydreams about what could have been if Maria was alive, and the vocal track clearly highlights that he blames himself for her death. This causes him to get anxious until he snaps himself out of his daydream. The way he says “stop that” so softly breaks my heart. This is one of the first times we have seen Shadow be so emotional, and it makes sense. He had a vision that made him relive his most traumatic memory, and he was going back to the very place it all happened. Not only that, but there was the possibility of Black Doom being back - what would he do if he was there? Of course he was thinking about Maria!

I know some people don’t like that Shadow is going back to his old memories because they think he should be over it, but as I’ve already said in another post, PTSD doesn’t work like that. Even ignoring the situation at hand - the vision he had and having to return to the ARK with the possibility of facing Black Doom again - recovery isn’t linear. Of course he is going to fluctuate in how affected he is by his past. What happened to him was incredibly traumatic. We have now seen how Maria was perhaps the only person who cared about him and the only friend she had. His job was to cure and protect her and, by his definition, he failed to do the one thing he was created for - saving her. Not only that, but his memories then got screwed with, and his relationship with Maria was manipulated by the very person he was created by, causing him to do the very thing Maria didn't want him to do. He then had to struggle with his amnesia, deal with identity issues surrounding potentially being an android, and facing against Black Doom, who like Gerald tried to use his past to manipulate him. Those things aren’t just something you “get over”. Sure, he seems to be better at managing his symptoms, but he can’t ever really forget or get over what happened.

The song lyrics also reveals a lot about Shadow’s thought process in this scene. Him referring to his situation as a never-ending nightmare once again highlights his PTSD. It’s a memory that will likely haunt him for a long time. I would say for the rest of his life, but he’s immortal - I believe eventually he will come to focus more on the positive parts of his memories with Maria, but that will take time. Or maybe just Sonic x Shadow Generations? Who knows. He also talks about pretending to see Maria again and imagining a world where he saved Maria, which we see him doing in the episode. But we clearly see he blamed himself - he says he “failed” to save Maria and how he “can’t forgive the wrongs” he’s done to Maria. And the final line about him remaining alone? Obviously he has people he trusts and cares about now, but being lonely and feeling alone are two different things. He has people like Rouge, Omega, Sonic - but ultimately he feels alone because he struggles to get close to them emotionally. Think about it - this is perhaps the only time we have seen Shadow so emotional, but he does this when he’s alone. He struggles to be vulnerable with others, I assume in large part because those close to him have used and manipulated him in the past. Plus he holds on dearly to the title of Ultimate Lifeform - perhaps he views that it’s a weakness to be vulnerable. Or given how much self-blame he has, maybe he feels he isn’t allowed to receive help. Either way, it’s really sad that he feels so alone. I hope someday he opens up to someone.

Okay, so before I move on to my general thoughts and predictions for the new game, I just want to quickly talk about…

✨ The Production ✨

…because man, these episodes slap!! The animation is absolutely gorgeous. It’s 3D but it almost looks 2D? The lighting is amazing, especially when showing energy sources like Shadow’s chaos energy or the glowing tubes in the first episode. It’s so incredibly striking. And the choreography? Amazing!! The music is also so incredibly emotional. The ones that stand out is the one that plays when Maria grabs Shadow’s hand in the first episode, and of course the vocal track Without You in the third episode. I honestly don’t have the words to properly describe everything, it’s just so incredible.

SxS Gens — Promotional Material (Trailers/Interviews)

I won’t go super in depth, but I’ll briefly mention some of my thoughts about what we have seen so far. I’ll probably miss stuff out, but the game is two weeks away, so all will be revealed properly soon enough.

A lot of Shadow’s character so far has been him moving on from his past, but this game seems to be him confronting it. The two biggest hints for this is the Doom Powers and the return of Maria and Gerald. With the Doom Powers, Shadow is having to fully embrace his Black Arms DNA. We see how insecure he is about his origins in Dark Beginnings, but now he is going to have to confront that part of himself, face it head on and make it his own. With regards to Maria and Gerald, perhaps he will talk to Gerald and ask more questions? Not sure exactly what they’d talk about, but I hope they talk in some capacity.

I assume the biggest thing will be Shadow deciding between keeping Maria around or restoring the timeline. I’ve seen some people want a Life is Strange type decision where you get to choose which you want, but I highly doubt it. I would also argue that’s a regression in Shadow’s character. Not only would he be disregarding Maria’s wishes, but it would also be him backtracking on his growth in finding himself outside of his history with Maria. Also, I know he cares about Maria, but to think he’d sacrifice everything just to stay with her? It goes against his resolve to sacrifice himself for humanity and his desire to fulfil Maria’s wish to protect humanity. And it would also mean he screws over all his new friends. Sure, I reckon he’ll struggle with the choice, but ultimately it makes more sense for him to sacrifice her again, both in terms of honouring Maria’s wishes and to develop him as a character to show he is genuinely moving on. There’s also the chance they bring Maria back somehow while restoring the timeline, but I personally don’t think it’ll happen and don’t want it to happen. I love Maria, but it’ll be more impactful to have Shadow decide to restore the timeline instead of sacrificing it to save Maria.

A few points from the Developer Interview I’d like to talk about quickly. It’s mentioned that Shadow’s story will be “dramatic” and that we will be “emotionally moved by it.” Given the response from the just 10-15 minutes of animation in the Dark Beginnings, I can definitely see this game being emotional, and it seems that’s what they're trying to accomplish. They mention portraying him being in pain, which we have definitely seen the physical sides of in the trailers. But I assume he’s also going to suffer emotionally, both because of Black Doom and seeing Maria again.

They bring up Sonic’s birthday party and that Shadow isn’t there. Obviously we know that he was invited by Rouge, but my assumption is that he doesn’t show because he is already wrapped up with the Time Eater and/or Black Doom and so can’t make the party. Perhaps he is even taken to White Space before the Time Eater crashes Sonic’s birthday party?

From a gameplay perspective, it seems the Doom Powers are intended to let you traverse the levels in different ways. To quote the video: “We needed to make sure when we’re designing the levels that the player could find a different path if you use Chaos Control, or if you’re using the Doom Powers in a certain way or in certain locations and that those powers could create new ways of getting through the game.” This links up with the Famitsu interview where they state that “you can complete the game without using Doom Power.” It seems these powers are there to make revisiting the levels more viable by creating shortcuts and helping you reach different locations. It’ll be interesting to see just how much exploration the levels have!

It’s clear as well that they want this game to be a love letter to old fans and an introduction to new ones. That makes sense - being a new fan is likely intimidating given all the spinoff games and such. I haven’t played all of them and I’ve been a fan of Sonic since I was a kid! And bear in mind, as much as it feels aging to hear, Shadow was introduced in 2001 - over 20 years ago. Although my friends aren’t as intensely interested in Sonic as I perhaps am, they are aware of Shadow’s existence. But they definitely don’t know his backstory. It’s completely valid to not know the full extent of Shadow’s backstory - whether or not you’re a new - especially given it’s scattered across 20+ years worth of spinoff games spanning a variety of consoles. If you’re one of those people, you’re completely valid. It doesn’t make you more or less of a fan because you don’t know every little detail of the Sonic lore.

Final Thoughts

I’ll be honest, when I initially saw the game advertised, I wasn’t really hyped for it. I think I was nervous because if you ignore The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog and Sonic Prime, Shadow’s writing has been a bit mixed. (My thoughts on Shadow’s writing in TMOSTH can be found here if you’re curious!) There’s the infamous Boom characterisation, which I think is universally disliked. And even in the IDW, Shadow’s writing can be a bit iffy. I had lost faith in Shadow’s modern characterisation until TMOSTH and Prime came out, so I was desperately hoping they took the positive feedback from that and continued it. I was worried though, given that one was a short April Fool’s game and the other was a TV series.

Thankfully, it seems they are continuing to do Shadow justice!

Dark Beginnings has done most of the heavy lifting when it comes to my excitement for the game. Not only is it beautifully animated with gorgeous music, but the writing is incredibly emotional. It really feels like the writers poured a lot of love into it, and I’m so incredibly happy to see Shadow being more than just “Sonic’s edgy antagonistic rival”

Sonic x Shadow Generations seems like a good format to introduce new fans to Shadow’s lore. They’re clearly taking it all into account given how much they referenced in Dark Beginnings. Generations is about celebrating and exploring the past again, which feels like a brilliant opportunity to explain Shadow’s lore and how it affects to his future.

I’m sure I’m missing some thoughts and maybe I’ll sneakily edit this post as new thoughts and revisions come to me, but I feel like I’ve already said a lot. To anyone who read this far, thank you! I hope my thoughts were…interesting to read? Who knows! This was mostly just my way of infodumping in the absence of friends to talk to.

I can’t wait for October 25th!

#shadow the hedgehog #maria robotnik #rouge the bat #e-123 omega #team dark #abraham tower #sonic the hedgehog #sonic #sth #sonic x shadow generations #sonic x shadow generations dark beginnings #sonic x shadow dark beginnings #shadow dark beginnings #dark beginnings #nagichi talks

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lightrises · 4 years ago

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"Only in allowing her to pass..." — Hornet, The Radiance, and the means by which Hallownest turned its victims against each other

A quick note: I read Hollow Knight as an anti-colonialist text. As such I'll be touching on topics related to colonialism as it's depicted in the world of the game, and said analysis will reflect both a sympathetic take on The Radiance and a critique of The Pale King that won't pull its punches. If this sounds up your alley, hello and thank you for the read! Let us be sad about these bugs together.

———

So!! A while back I realized something about pre-canon that felt rather... "curious" is one way to put it, I think. To wit: for all the effort and scheming and determination The Pale King poured into trying to get rid of The Radiance, neither of his plans involved directly killing her.

Was that his long game? Well, sure, that seems clear enough. His tack changed from luring the moths away from their god and creator to a more literal form of incarceration once the infection became a factor, but at its core the end goal never really changed—The Pale King very sincerely wished to destroy Radiance via obsolescence. The Seer lends us foreshadowing to confirm as much:

[Image descriptions: Two screenshots from Hollow Knight, showing the Seer and Ghost in the Seer's alcove at the Resting Grounds. Across both screenshots, the Seer tells Ghost the following: "None of us can live forever, and so we ask those who survive to remember us. Hold something in your mind and it lives on with you, but forget it and you seal it away forever. That is the only death that matters." End description.]

(Which, by the way and given the context, talk about an extremely unsubtle allusion to cultural genocide huh!!! Whew.)

In any case, we're left with a whole bunch of machinations which build up to... well, two very roundabout attempts at committing deicide. That's kind of weird, all things considered! Why not just do the deed in one fell swoop and get it over with?

This could be for any number of reasons. Maybe the king was devoid of the means to instantly kill another higher being. Maybe his personal sense of scruples stopped him short of signing off on MURDER murder (although, y'know, the aforementioned genocide + eternal imprisonment = still cool and copasectic apparently!). Maybe the long drawn-out cruelty was the point. Maybe the idea of playing fuckign 4D chess with the circumstances was too delicious for him to pass up—that man did love to tinker and stick his claws where they sure as hell didn't belong—or maybe it was a little bit of All The Things. Who knows!!

But interrogating The Pale King's methodology on this count isn't what I'm here for, at least not really. The main reason I raise this question at all is that in her own way, Hornet did too.

"I'd urge you to take that harder path... "

See, going by The Pale King's actions and what The White Lady explicitly says, they both foresaw two outcomes wrt the infection: it can be allowed to spread, or it can be contained. At Teacher's Archives, Quirrel acknowledges the fact that Ghost is expected to do... something about this, but he doesn't elaborate on what HE thinks that's supposed to be apart from the obvious "Gotta bust into Black Egg Temple first". Hornet is the one person who presents to us—to Ghost—what's framed as a third option: confront and destroy the infection at its source.

And she doesn't bring it up like it's just another tactic for Ghost to consider, prim and indifferent to what they would do. She nudges them towards it, actively, up to the point where she throws herself into the fray against Hollow at a juncture that's uniquely dangerous to her and her alone just to make that option feasible.

Even when she's couching it in disclaimers that this is still Ghost's decision to make (and let's be fair, she's extremely not wrong about that lol), no one can pretend Hornet is unbiased. It's obvious in that buttoned-down Hornet kind of way that she is way the hell done with the increasingly tenuous stalemate that's kept Hallownest's desiccated corpse from collapsing in on itself. Personally it's hard for me not to read some Toriel Undertale-esque "My father was too entrenched in his own foolishness to pursue any course of action that would have DEFINITIVELY ended this" shade into her stance here, regardless of whether that's strictly true in canon.

And that bit—Hornet's hopes for an end to Hallownest's stasis, moreover her grim calculation of what needs to be done to get there—that's the bit I find super interesting but likewise tragic and depressing as shit, on multiple levels. In no small part because a) canon itself gestures towards Hornet feeling conflicted about the very plan she's pushing, and moreover b) she has at least two (2) damn good reasons to feel that way.

So, what do I mean by that? Let's look here first:

[Image description: A screenshot from Hollow Knight, of Hornet and Ghost inside the Temple of the Black Egg, standing in front of the unsealed egg itself. Hornet has been struck by the Dream Nail and her dialogue is displayed as follows: "... Could it achieve that impossible thing? Should it?" End description.]

As the curtain is about to drop on things one way or another, Hornet thinks,

... Could it achieve that impossible thing? Should it?

Now, looking at that last bit it's easy to go "Oh no, Hornet's worried that Ghost won't survive killing The Radiance!" And I do think that's part of it: Hornet is, categorically, not her father. By endgame it's clear she's not content to view her Void-borne siblings as tools to be used then disposed of. She's also well aware that as a healthy autonomous Vessel amongst the countless dead, Ghost is the only person left alive who has a fighting chance against The Radiance. Knowing someone is the only qualified candidate for the job doesn't make encouraging them to embrace a probable death sentence any less of a bitter pill to swallow, though. And odds are on that this sentiment extends to Hollow too, who IS going to die no matter what happens here. To put it bluntly, it's more than reasonable to conclude that Hornet hates the absolute fuck out of this.

But I don't think that's all there is to it either. Remember what I said earlier about The Pale King's bids for genocide? Well, it's not like the man deigned to limit his efforts to just the moth tribe.

"We do not choose our mothers... "

On top of everything else—an infected Hallownest being all she's ever known, the fact that she only exists because of the infection, the list goes on—Hornet has spent her life wedged into a position that's been uncomfortable and terminally unglamorous at best: she is both a daughter of her father's kingdom and of Deepnest.

Deepnest, which like the moths and many others was here long before the wyrm and his lady wife swanned onto the scene and the God Become Bug laid claim to everything the Light touched plus a considerable amount of change. THAT Deepnest, which has fought claw and thread to retain its sovereignty against same-said settler king, and for which Herrah not only surrendered her life but also agreed to bed her worst enemy, all in hopes of securing a viable future for her people (put a pin in that last part by the way, I'll come back to it soon).

Two Worlds, One Family (Ft. An Indigenous Woman Trying Her Damndest To Work With What She's Got Versus An Imperialist Who Only Signed Up For This Because He Needed The Political Favor THAT Badly, So It's The Height Of Dysfunctional Actually). Fun times!!!!

The baggage this entails for Hornet is gnarly enough without implications made by The White Lady and the pre-canon timeline of events and even Team Cherry's dev notes that the king may well have looked at baby Hornet, gone "YOINK", then ensured she spent the lion's share of her childhood reared within the pearly auspices of his Pale Court*. That would be rather advantageous for Him Specifically after all, the potential to mold a born foe into a future ally and even have her trained in combat under the same tutelage as her doomed sibling. And far be it from him to stop a grown Hornet—his own flesh and blood too!—from making Deepnest her forever home if she so pleased. He totally wouldn't be reneging on his "fair bargain made" by doing this one simple thing until Hornet came of age, not t e c h nic c a l l y.

If that is indeed the case, there's a non-zero chance Hornet's formative years were a hot mess of cultural alienation and being a good deal more privy than most to just how much of a bastard her father could be. There's an equally non-zero chance that at some point she stood or sat within earshot as The Pale King finally, finally dropped all pretense and euphemism to name the Light for precisely what (for who) it was.

See, in conjunction with the question that started this whole dang train of thought I've been asking this one too: Does Hornet know? When she speaks of confronting "the heart of [the] infection" does she know she's talking about not just a literal person but someone very specific? The Radiance, who god though she may be shares skin in the game alongside Hornet as a native woman screwed over by the same settler king, likewise deprived of her kin and saddled with a life gone horrendously pear-shaped?

I'll assume for the sake of exploring the possibility and because I think it's a likely one anyway that yes, Hornet does know. She knows, and despite everything can't help empathizing. She might even look at Radiance and see bits and pieces both reflected and slightly inversed in her own mother: Radiance was forced to the sidelines while her people—her children, the brood she was meant to lead and care for—died out under The Pale King's rule, and it's no stretch to assume she's at least as upset about that as she has been about everything else; Herrah too took drastic measures for her people's sake, trying to head off annihilation by relegating herself to the sidelines in an act that was as much calculated risk as an attempt to find wiggle room and leverage in the face of a nasty proposition.

A calculated risk that, if things continue as they are, might well amount to nothing as the rest of Deepnest gets eaten alive by the infection. It survived The Pale King's advances for so so long, only to fall here. Herrah's sacrifice would be for naught; the other tribes—themselves the king's victims—would keep succumbing to the infection too.

And this is where things fall apart.

"... or the circumstance into which we are born."

Let's be clear: I think Hornet is wise enough to know what's what here, that all the carnage and suffering falls on her father's head for starting this slow-motion trainwreck in the first place. Hallownest wasn't always Hallownest. This domain was Radiance's home first, along with many others. It was the worm-turned-king who rolled up on the scene unsolicited and decided this was a ""'problem""" that had to be """solved""".

But the fact of the matter is that he's gone and The Radiance is here, raging, seemingly inconsolable. Above and beyond being Deepnest's rightful heir, Hornet isn't in a position to countenance more splash damage even if the grief and fury fueling it makes perfect sense. She can understand without ever bringing herself to love Radiance, and she can bend her knee to practicality even if she hates the everloving shit out of it because the fact that it "has" to end this way isn't fair.

This lends itself to one last awful conclusion: that Hornet has probably considered and (rightly or wrongly) discarded the possibility that Radiance can be saved, at least not without dragging more collateral along for the ride. If even her mother and every other enemy to the king seemed to dismiss talking Radiance down as an option way back when... well. Why should Hornet hope for any better after things have escalated so far?

Again, it's practical. A practical net good is what Hornet strives for. And again, it fucking sucks.

For extra tragedy points, this makes Hornet's extended crypticness around Ghost followed by her last minute casting about for a reason to tell them "Wait, don't; not just yet" that she never voices even more of a gut punch. She can't bring herself to burden Ghost with the context that haunts her so, least of all when it might weaken their resolve to go through with what (she thinks) needs doing.

It's the "same song, different verse" which led to the mantis tribe and Deepnest being pitted against each other: Hallownest rigged the game so that two women who could have been powerful allies—who have a mutual vested interest in driving out settler rule—wound up poised as enemies instead. And how awful is that? The king for all his being extremely fucking dead still gets the last laugh, because outside of a miracle the game never manifests Hornet can salvage what her mother started and look forward to a future where Deepnest pulls itself back from the brink if and only if The Radiance dies.

Resolution comes at the price of a completed genocide. Add two more dead siblings to the unconscionable pile thereof, while we're at it. That's what it boils down to whether or not Hornet can bear to articulate it as such, and there's no grace or even a properly bittersweet ending to wring from this clusterfuck. And that is rough.

———

* This has been better explained elsewhere, but a quick rundown: The White Lady tells Ghost that Hornet and Herrah "were permitted little time together." On its surface this can be taken to mean that Hornet was still very young when Herrah was shipped off to Eternal Dreamland—except this doesn't jive with the fact that we meet Hornet as an adult. If the stasis kicked in once the Dreamers went to their rest, which in turn halted the aging process for every living bug in Hallownest, AND before all this Hornet experienced little by the way of quality time with her birth mother... I think you can see where I'm going with this.

To top it off we've got Team Cherry weighing in ominously from their dev notes on Herrah: "As part of the agreement for her alliance and her role as a dreamer, King gave her a child (Hornet). Was she allowed to keep this child or was she taken away?" This isn't confirmation by itself of course, but given additional canon details (see above): Can I get a "yikes" in the chat fellas.

#hollow knight #hornet (hollow knight)#hornet hollow knight #hk hornet #the radiance #hk radiance #herrah #hk herrah #hollow knight meta #sup folks it's been a minute since i dropped a whole dang essay but Here We Go!!!!!!

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timelesslords · 4 years ago

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time, mystical time (cutting me open then healing me fine)

Read on AO3

The night the second Giant War ends, Percy and Annabeth sneak out together

For the first time in what felt like years, Annabeth was able to exhale.

They'd done it. Gaea was gone, the Romans were on their side, various monster armies had been defeated. Sitting on the porch of the Big House with the remaining seven after all was said and done had felt like both one of the most anti-climactic, and heaviest moments of her life. Leo was gone, and she hadn't fully processed that yet, she wondered if she would ever fully process that Leo, so full of life and energy, wasn't there anymore. But compared to the Titan War, casualties had been light.

She still felt on edge, like at any moment the dirt in front of her might rise into Gaea's familiar form, shout "surprise!" and murder them all now that they had their guard down. But the hours passed, night fell, and nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Which, considering how Annabeth's life had gone the past 7 years, was extraordinary in and of itself.

But it still didn't feel right. It didn't feel done . She could breathe out, but breathing in still felt like a struggle, like there was something caught there.

Maybe that was why, once her siblings seemed mostly asleep, Annabeth slipped on her yankees cap and snuck out the door. She reached Cabin 3 easily, and was not at all surprised to find Percy still awake when she tapped on his window. He opened it, letting out a waft of cool sea breeze into the night air. Annabeth pulled off her cap and Percy grinned at her.

"Thank gods, I was wondering if you were ever going to show up." he said.

"Some of us have roommates." Annabeth replied, but she was also smiling. Percy had a conspiratorial grin on his face, the kind that was contagious, and that would make any self-respecting teacher want to cry.

"Give me a sec," He said, disappearing from the window, and returning with a blanket a few moments later. Then he began to climb out.

"You know the door is like six feet away, right?" Annabeth asked, watching with amusement as he maneuvered his way out of the small window hole. Percy managed to slide out of it, his feet landing on solid ground a little harder than he probably intended.

"Yeah, but where's the fun in that?"

"You're ridiculous." Annabeth said. She had not meant for it to come out quite so fondly, but she didn't have the heart to try and correct herself.

"You love me anyways." Percy said happily, taking her hand, lacing his fingers through hers. It felt so easy, so natural, Annabeth could almost forget the past 8 months had happened. Like they were still two kids who had only been through one war in their lifetime instead of two Which, okay, maybe a pretty pathetic ideal, but it still made her feel good.

They made their way down to the beach, careful to avoid the cleaning harpy's regular paths, though Annabeth doubted they were even on curfew duty tonight. There was still tons of debris lying around from the earlier battle that hadn't been fully squared away yet, despite everyone working around the clock to get it done. Though, with help from the Romans, Annabeth thought they could probably have camp looking back to normal in the next day or two. They were scarily efficient. Either way, the harpies were probably taking the night off.

The beach, thankfully, had remained relatively untouched from the battle. There were a few dunes she wasn't sure had been there before, and what looked like a bit of wreckage from one of the orangers. But they ignored both, opting for their favorite spot just above the tideline, in the middle of the beach. Percy set down the blanket, and they laid down on it together, still holding hands.

They were quiet, but that didn't bother Annabeth. Quiet moments with Percy were stupidly hard to come by, and just being next to him made her feel whole again. Even after the weeks they'd spent together, Annabeth hadn't fully recovered from the time she had spent with him missing. She wondered if she would ever fully recover from that, or if she was doomed to dream of him disappearing right before her eyes for the rest of her life.

And that had always been the fear, hadn't it? That he would leave like everyone else in her life had, before she had him? It was her fault they had taken so long to get together, the way she kept pulling away, expecting him to get tired and go. But he hadn't. He had stubbornly stuck around, even when she was mad at him and being mean to him and hadn't really been all that pleasant to be around.

And of course, there was the other thing. The prophecy that had ruled their lives since they were twelve, that Annabeth had read at too young an age, and that she had applied to him from the minute that trident flashed over his head. He wasn't even supposed to be here.

"What are you thinking about?"

Annabeth glanced over at Percy, who had apparently been looking at her for the past few minutes.

"You've got that scrunched up look on your face." He said. He at least had the decency to sound apologetic.

"My face doesn't get scrunched." Annabeth protested, though even as she said it she became aware of the tenseness in her forehead and between her eyes. She rubbed the bridge of her nose.

"It does, when you're thinking hard. Don't worry, it's very cute."

"You're biased." Annabeth said, turning herself so she could look at him straight on.

"Maybe so." Percy said, with a soft smile and a half shrug. It was very easy to forget, sometimes, that they were half gods, but Annabeth saw it in Percy just then. Something beyond human in his touch and his eyes. Something divine. She wasn't sure how she had ever thought it would be possible for him to die. Looking at him now, she would swear up and down he was an immortal.

"I was just thinking about last summer. And the one before that. And all the time we wasted." Annabeth admitted.

"In our defence, we were kind of dumb then." Percy said, hitting her with a trademark grin. Annabeth had to smile back, even as she rolled her eyes.

"Speak for yourself, Seaweed Brain."

"Okay, okay. I was an idiot, and you were as brilliant as ever." Percy amended. Annabeth appreciated his undue faith in her, but it wasn't entirely warranted.

"I wasn't brilliant. I was pragmatic, which is just another kind of stupid if you use it wrong." Annabeth sighed.

"What do you mean?"

"Like," Annabeth started, not sure how to explain what she was thinking in a totally not-morbid way, "I guess I was just thinking about the prophecy the whole time. After the labyrinth especially, I just– I don't know. I was so scared of how it would all play out. I kept pushing you away because I thought it would be easier."

"You thought I was going to die." Percy said. He had a look of careful consideration on his face, free from judgement. He didn't let go of her hand.

"Yes." Annabeth said, feeling guilty as she did, "I mean, I should've known better. Prophecies never play out the way you think they will."

"The summer before. We ended things on weird terms." Percy remembered, "Is that because you thought the time was running out?"

Annabeth shuddered inadvertently. If it was up to her, she would never think about that summer again. It had easily been the worst of her life, maybe even now, and she had some really shitty summers to compare it to.

"It was partially that." Annabeth admitted, "Partially Luke. And... it was also sort of my prophecy. When you disappeared those two weeks and we– I thought you had died, I thought... I thought it was my fault. For bringing you on the quest."

Percy was frowning, like he wasn't quite following what she was saying.

"The last line. The one I didn't tell you about until after." Annabeth prompted.

And lose a love worse than death. Annabeth had been well aware of her crush on Percy at that point, but she hadn't fully, truly realized she was in love with him until she had thought he'd died for her prophecy. It was the absolute worst moment to have that clarity. Thankfully she had gotten a do-over of sorts, but it was hard to forget that kind of pain. That probably was why she had avoided him the rest of the summer, more than anything else, because she after she knew that she loved him the thought of losing him again, which had felt desperately inevitable at the time, was absolutely excruciating.

Percy's eyes widened in understanding.

"Oh. Oh. Oh gods, I was an idiot. I didn't even realize how much of an idiot I was for that." he said, "After you kissed me and everything. I just never put it together."

Annabeth couldn't help but laugh a little at the expression on his face.

"It's okay." she said.

"Did I ever apologize for that? I'm really sorry."

"You don't have to apologize. I tortured you enough after the fact."

"You did do that. I deserved it though. Gods." Percy said, rolling onto his back, looking up at the stars.

"Rachel didn't though." Annabeth said. She still felt a little twinge of guilt at how she'd treated Rachel the first few times they'd met. Looking back on it, it really didn't have much to do with Rachel at all; she had mostly been mad at herself, and Percy. Herself for not being brave enough to make a move, Percy for having a crush on a girl who wasn't her, after all they'd been through together. Not exactly fair feelings all around, but at least they'd been equally distributed. And she'd apologized to Rachel afterwards.

"No, probably not." Percy agreed.

"I was just mad, I guess. Luke was gone for good. Thalia had left, and I knew she had to, but it still hurt. And I thought I was going to lose you to her and then you were going to die, again, sort of, and it was all just kind of unbearable."

"I'm sorry. That you had to do that alone." Percy said, squeezing her hand, "I wish I had been better about it. I just didn't really know what to do."

"It's not your fault." Annabeth said. Then, after a moment of contemplation

"Though you could have at least acknowledged the kiss."

Percy groaned, covering his face with his free hand.

"I was so dumb. I still didn't know if you liked me after that. I thought you just wanted to forget about it."

"Well, after you didn't mention it, maybe." Annabeth said, a little teasingly. It was nice to just be able to sit here and talk about things. The past few months had been pretty hellish, but one thing they had done was put things in perspective. It was easy to laugh at their awkward 15-year-old selves' interactions now, while it might've still been uncomfortable a few months ago.

Of course, if Percy hadn't disappeared out of nowhere, they probably would've reached this point in their relationship organically, without all the trauma on the side. But if she thought about that for too long she would just get angry, and she didn't want to ruin the moment. It was a nice moment. The type of moment she wanted to have with him over and over again, until they both died of old age. For the first time that actually felt like an achievable goal.

"Can I get a do-over?" Percy asked, his trouble-maker smile back on his face. Annabeth grinned back.

"You can have as many do-overs as you want."

He leaned over and kissed her, soft and sweet, and frankly much better than the hurried, frantic one in the volcano had been.

"Annabeth Chase," he said as he pulled away, "I am acknowledging that that was an amazing kiss. I hope to have many more amazing kisses with you, for the rest of our lives."

Annabeth laughed and kissed him again, because she had the time, and they finally had the world to themselves again, and now that he had kissed her again, any time not spent kissing him felt like a waste.

"You're very good at that. Have I ever told you you're very good at that?" Percy said, when they finally broke apart again.

"Well, I had lots of practice before you." Annabeth said, unable to stop the sly smile from spreading across her lips.

"Like who?" Percy asked, indignantly. He was joking, but she could tell there was a note of genuine surprise there.

"Oh, lets see." Annabeth said, rolling back onto her back, fingers still laced through Percy's, "There was Zach, from elementary school. He wasn't very good, but practice is practice. And then Jake from that boarding school–"

"You kissed guys at your boarding school?"

"Oh sure. I was sad and you weren't around, I had to make do. I made out with Connor once, that was an experience."

"Our Connor? Connor Stoll?" Percy asked, unable to mask his surprise. Annabeth bit down a giggle.

"Yeah, on a dare. He wasn't so bad, really, but he could have used a little less ton–"

"Okay, okay, I get the point," Percy said hurriedly, and Annabeth finally let herself laugh.

"Don't worry, you're better than all of them put together." Annabeth said, reaching around her own head and patting his with her spare hand.

"Are you sure you're not just saying that?" Percy asked.

"Mm. Might have to double check." Annabeth said, keeping her voice as serious as she could possibly make it.

"Oh yeah?" Percy said, and it was a dare to him now, which meant that teasing him so much had either been a bad idea, or a really really good one.

"Yeah." Annabeth said, and in a strange way she felt freer than she had before. Like a huge weight had been lifted off her chest.

Annabeth breathed in the salty sea air, revelling in the inhale. She might've started to cry if he hadn't kissed her then, but it was just as well. They had plenty of time.

#percabeth fic #percabeth oneshot #percabeth fluff #percabeth #this is probably my personal favorite one shot I've done tbh #very inspired by me re-reading BoTL and realizing how traumatizing that was for Annabeth and how they never really get to talk about it #PJO fic #missing scene #Percy Jackson #annabeth chase #hoo #hoo fic #percy x annabeth #annabeth x percy #they're just very in love what can i say #my fic

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ithinkthingsaboutstuff · 3 years ago

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A sharp knife and a broken heart (TUA)

Hi y’all

with the new season on the way i thought i should re watch the first season and finish my little deep dive on the characters so far I have done Grace, Number 5 and Alison I have focused on one aspect of the characters and expanded that to show how it shapes and even evolves over the season.

today i will be looking at my fav knife wielding mama’s boy, Diego.

[note I did not finish this one and I can’t find the strength too, so I’ll post the draft, so whatever]

I have touched on Diego in another post, here! basically this post was about the time line of events that lead up to and after the funeral. to summaries, Diego was the first to the house after hearing that their ‘father’ died, and then covered up for his mom before everyone even got to the house. now that is just a logistic’s post.

what i am looking at today, is the main or at least one of the main parts of his character. A deep dive into one thing, I will be looking at Diego’s broken heart.

now its no secret that Diego feels and cares more then he lets on (especially with Luther but i will get to that).

lets lay out what we know about Diego

1- he was the first to leave

2- he was a cop

3- he was and still is the only one still in the ‘hero’ game

4- he loves Grace more then anyone else

1- he was the first to leave

now on the first point, he leaves when he is about (what i assume) is 16-17 basically a short time after Ben died. As Diego was one of the first to not take their “fathers” bullshit (5 was the first and got stuck in dooms day prison)

but i think, both of these events shaped the man he is in more ways then one.

when 5 is gone Hargreeves can “pass it off” as 5′s fault like making him an Icarus tale for the rest of them, and since they where still prepubescent (12-13) they were more incline to believe him. also in ep 2 (run boy run) this scene shows that none of the kids (other than 5) were willing to stand up to Hargreaves and the way he runs things. they all follow the rules and then 5 disobeys and then he is gone. So if that doesn't put the fear of god into then what would.

but i think this was different for Diego I think is when he started to understand that their father didn’t care about them at all. I think he suspected but this was the first sign of the cracks forming. so he stepped away from his ‘father’ and went towards his mother, as shown in this scene here

gif link

Diego feelings about grace are very sweet and shown really well in the show. and it says a lot about Diego that he does not see her as a ‘robot’ but as mom. i would say that it is very likely that Diego was the first to call her that, and the last, (ouch i hurt my own feelings). moving back to the point. Diego feels very deeply but about a few people his family (not Hargreaves tho) and Patch, and that’s it. but what his is willing to do for others is pretty amazing (but more on that later).

now we don’t know much about Ben in tua but (and i am going off the comic description as well) he was said to be the kindest and most gentle of all the siblings. so basically he was a good/nice person (or at least the best of them, or on how they would measure it anyway).

so when Ben died that was the last straw for Diego, my money is on that Hargreeves tried to pull the same thing he pulled with 5, by making it seem like it was Ben’s own fault for being weak and soft. And that was Diego fully understood how little he cared about all of them and so even tho he would not see Grace (which i believe was the only reason he stuck around so long). that trick was not going to work twice so he left.

because if someone as good as Ben meant nothing then what was is he.

2- He was a cop

now the biggest part about this is two fold

1- he still wanted to help people he just wanted to do it another way to Hargreeves way.

2- when he realised how little good he was doing and how corrupt the whole thing was so he walked away and started doing things his own way.

the fact he wanted to be cop (and went through training for it) shows that Diego truly wanted to make it on his own. he did not want special treatment and wanted to prove to himself and everyone else he could stand on his own two feet.

now we are not sure of the exact reason why he left the force but it is suggested that he could not stand how little justice and results was actually getting done, however i think there is another factor.

Vanya’s book. this exposed Diego to everyone around him so everything he did for years to prove himself was undermined in just one whole day. But he didn’t give up he still helped people and did whatever he could to protect people from harm.

3- he was and still is the only one still in the ‘hero’ game

we know that he was still very much involved with the vigilantly thing. and the only on who is. So despite is hate and anger towards Hargreeves (and Luther to a degree) he still believes in the ‘mission’ of The Umbrella Academy, at least the part about saving people. he is very dedicated to this, to the point that his whole life revolves around it, with

1- his living situation / employment are at the same place and he would also train there.

2- has no real relationship other then the one he has/had with patch (and grace, but i will come back to that)

3- he literally wears nothing else other then his hero suit.

now why would he keep up fighting like this, what is the motivator, i think its two fold.

1- he wants to prove Hargreeves wrong.

he was number 2, second best and second rate (to Hargreeves anyway), and he cared about people more then the ‘mission’ so my money is on Diego ‘letting’ some bad guys go in favour of saving the public or his family. Hargreeves saw that as weakness and “you can’t save the world by helping one person” type thinking on Hargreeves part (cause he is a dick).

so in other words Hargreeves always thinks of the bigger picture the number 1 priorities (much like Luther to a point) but Diego looks at the ‘little’ picture, like family’s, peoples lives and actual justice for people who are suffering/in danger.

so when he does leave he makes a point to still be a hero but does the opposite of what Hargreeves wanted for him which was to ‘save the world.’

So Diego decided to save individual peoples worlds instead.

2- he never wants any other family to lose ‘their’ Ben

I think a key driver for all of the siblings was Ben’s death (as is canon), But in Diego it hit home that a family can be broken by losing a single piece of it. and Ben’s death really broke his heart in a way that he would not wish it on anyone and would do everything in he power to prevent. his first line in the series is “Your family is safe now”

we don’t know who he is addressing with this statement as the family is to close together, and we don’t see his face when he says it. But (and i am reaching here) I think he said it mostly for his own benefit, as this is a family he could save unlike his own.

and i think he uses and carriers that pain to make sure no one else has to feel it.

4- he loves Grace more then anyone else

now this is somewhat obvious, but i wanted to break it down more.

1- like i said before i believe he was the first and the last person to call her Mom

2- he makes an effort to truly understand her (asking her if when she talks is it like Hargreeves telling her things and if she was angry with Hargreeves)

3- treats and sees her as a real person (not wanting her shut down, validating her feelings)

4- he covered up a murder for her (or what he thought was one) cause he knows if anyone deserved to die it was his ‘father’ and Grace was the one who deserved to do it ( “he treated you worse then anyone” line for example) .

5- when he saw she was broken beyond repair (or when he thought it was) he shut her down to save her anymore pain.

6- when she wanted to leave his response after asking a question was “you can do whatever you want Mom”

now all of this paints a distinctive picture about Diego. But the question still somewhat remains, Why does he love her so much? and Why does he care and devotes so much of himself to her? now Grace is an great mom as I covered in her deep dive so look at that for more, but lets focus on Diego.

#tua #diego hargreeves #number 2 #The Umbrella Academy #meta #text #maybe i'll finish it one day #but this has been here for like a year now so #whatever

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drakewalkerfantasy · 3 years ago

Text

Consequences: Chapter 3 NSFW*

Synopsis:

Jordan Williams is a former Marine who starts a new life joining Medical school at age of 27.

Rachel Ferguson is a freshly out of college graduate and Medical school 1st year student.

Two complete strangers who fell in bed together for a night of solace from their moment of anger and hurt. By chance, they were brought together and their fates intertwined.

Not realising yet that not only they share the same house, they also share the person they cannot lose no matter what.

What will happen when the reality of the one night’s actions filled with lust and anger will hit them both? What will happen when he will find out that the girl he spent the night with is not only his housemate but also his best friend’s little sister? The one he swore to himself never to touch, the one for whom he will never be good enough. Will he be able to keep his hands off her? Or are they doomed from the beginning?

Words: 3195

Authors notes: Some chapters maybe NSFW or have a mature content

Jordan Williams x Rachel Ferguson (Rae, Rae-Rae)

**Warnings: Alcohol consumption, anger, bad decisions, NSFW, sex, heavy make out.*

Warning: Minors DNI.

Previous chapters: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2

“How do you know him?” asked Rachel in a quiet barely audible voice, looking at Jordan with wide eyes, reminding him of the deer caught in the highlights of the approaching car.

He suspected she already knew the answer to this question, knowing how close Brandon was with his sister, but he answered the question anyway.

“We served together…,” he replied, swallowing hard.

“Right…,” she mumbled under her breath.

They looked at each other for a long moment, while reality slowly sank on them. The deafening thundering of their hearts was filling the silence between them, and Jordan could feel how the panic started to rise inside him beating the excruciating pain in his hip that he started to feel.

He opened his mouth to say something, anything… but the flight reflex kicked in and without saying a word, he abruptly turned around and rushed toward his room. He walked up the stairs trying to ignore the pain that followed him every step until he finally got into his room and shut the door behind.

His back pressed to the wooden panel, and his head hit it with a thud, making him moan in irritation. His eyes closed and he gritted his teeth, trying to get his pain under control, breathing in and out, while he leaned against the door waiting for the pain to become less. After some time he let out a low growl and limped to bed, falling on it facing the ceiling. He didn’t know how much time had passed, nor what time it was when a buzzing of his phone snatched him back to reality.

He took it out of his pocket, taking a call without looking at the caller’s ID, groaning when a loud voice came through the device. His body tensed instantly, when the recognition hit him, and his muscles flexed. His head throbbed with pain, and he shut his eyes, trying to suppress a shooting pain in his temples.

His voice weak and distant, but he grudgingly reassured Brandon that he is well and alive, barely believing in it himself. Feeling like he cannot not only move but also breath. Pounding in his head only increased, when Brandon invited himself over to meet his housemate, making Jordan sit up straight, grunting in pain.

Shit… Shit… Shit… thought Jordan, no longer listening to Brandon. Trying to come up with something he could say to stop his friend from coming. Not sure for how long he would be able to do that. But before he could say even a word the line went dead, leaving him to the deafening silence, broken only by his thunderous heartbeat.

Great… just perfect. Grunted Jordan, watching the screen of his phone going black, before shoving it back into his pocket. This is why I never had friends before… till joining Marines… before the hell we went through that made us closer. Probably my mother was right and this was just a waste of time. No friends, no pain, and nothing to lose. No people to care about and no deaths to witness… He thought in frustration, closing his eyes.

The memory of his dead friends… Jack… Denise… Steve… Nick… immediately floated to his mind. Followed by the vision of the comrades he cared about but couldn’t save… Anthony… Noah… Henry… Luca… Ava… and finally concluded with the images of bloodied bodies he barely could recognise… Alexander… Jonathan… William… Baby Jack… and many, many more faces he would always remember and would never forget… The guys and girls who would never ever have a chance at just having fun or building a family… or even breathing… So why should he have a chance at anything? And probably losing Brandon, the only best friend who survived, would be the fitting price to pay for him trying to forget… trying to have fun, while so many couldn’t anymore. It was as if fate was punishing him for surviving… for trying to continue to live.

Quickly, he pushed the thought away, feeling how the lump already started to form at the back of his throat. His thoughts instantly moved to his sister before involuntarily going to Rachel thinking of what to say to his friend… what would he feel if anyone from his friends would sleep with his own sister? Using her for just one night because of anger and lust and trying to forget… to forget at least for a little while the weight of the guilt for staying alive and feeling. Would he forget and forgive? Or would he punch the asshole who would do it to her without thinking of protecting her first?

And he knew the answer to that… NEVER… He would NEVER forget and forgive such betrayal.

After an hour, Jordan heard a distant knock at the front door, and the muffled voices reached him after some time.

“Heeeeey….” said Rachel, opening the door. Her voice faltered at the end, and Jordan, even before hearing another voice, knew exactly whom she saw at the porch.

“Rach?“ a surprised voice sounded at the door.

“How… How did you find me? I just was planning to send you my address,” she said trying to sound genuinely surprised, but from the notes in her voice Jordan could say how nervous she felt. Even without seeing her, he could picture how her beautiful forest green eyes widened and her coral lips parted while she took a barely audible shallow breath.

Why the hell do I even know how she looks nervous? Jordan thought, frowning.

“I wasn’t looking for you. I actually was looking for my friend… but… what are you…,” started Brandon.

“If you speak of a handsome, tall stranger with blue eyes and nice body then he is upstairs. And in regards to what I’m doing here… I’m living here. You know it was the only place near the university I could find, so please… please don’t ruin it for me with your unbearable overprotectiveness.”

“I’m not…”

“You are, and I love you, but let’s make it perfectly clear I’m not interested in your friend. So please… please don’t get all big protective brother on me,” her voice a little bit shaky with the memory of their morning, but no less convincing.

“Rae, whatever you think I didn’t even plan on doing that,” laughed Brandon, giving Rachel a hug. “Plus, Jordan would never betray our friendship like that. I know the guy and I trust him. On top of that I saw him yesterday leaving with some super hot blondie so I think we are good.” said Brandon.

I was that blondie… almost blurted out Rachel hating to keep a secret from her brother, but stopping at the last moment.

Meantime upstairs Jordan was listening more closely to the conversation between siblings.

I screwed up… I royally screwed up… thought he, banging his head on the mattress. But I cannot come clean now… not after hearing that she obviously doesn’t want him to know… Shit…

“Ohhhhh, so his name is Jordan?” asked Rachel, laughing at Brandon’s surprised expression.

“Wait a minute…. did he even not introduce himself,” incredulously asked Brandon looking at his sister, watching her shake her head. “God, it’s so typical of him… same as sneaking out to the library while it’s closed. So… you said he is in his room? Alone or does he have company?”

“Yes, your friend is hiding in his room. And regarding the company, how can I know?” mumbled Rachel, feeling how her face started to heat up.

He had some a little bit more than an hour ago… she thought, turning to close the door, to hide the blush from her brother, waving him toward his friend’s room.

“God, I missed you sis,” laughed Brandon, hugging the girl and lifting her effortlessly off the ground, twirling her happily before putting back.

“I missed you too, big brother. After your return, the last time I saw you was in a hospital bed, flirting with some poor unsuspecting nurse and then you moved here, leaving me behind,” sighed Rachel, hugging her brother and kissing him on the cheek. “Now go,” she said, shoving off her brother lightly toward the stairs.

In a moment, Jordan heard a sound of footsteps on the stairs, followed by the knock on the door.

“What do you want?” he snapped, abruptly sitting up on the bed, still embarrassed and angry from the fact how little self-control he showed yesterday. He looked at the door, unconsciously hoping to see Rachel, whose name he knew only from Brandon, but instead his friend stuck his head through the ajar door.

“Brandon, what are you….?” he asked, furrowing his brows. Not expecting to see him, thinking that he will spend a little bit more time with his sister.

“For a smart guy as you, you ask too many stupid questions and too few right ones. Considering, you didn't even ask your new housemate’s name.”

“How did you know I didn't?” asked Jordan, raising his brow sceptically not ready to admit that his friend was right.

“I know you. Aaaaand you didn’t give her yours so following the logical conclusion you didn’t ask hers,” rolled his eyes Brandon, sitting on a bed without invitation. “By the way if you would have a little chat with her, you would know that her name is Rachel. She is my little sister and she also first year Medical student as you are,” he said, falling silent for a momen before starting to speak. “Man, I know I can trust you, but I cannot trust all the other assholes who would creep their way to her and hurt her,” grunted Brandon.

“What do you want me to do?” growled Jordan flopping down on the bed once again, his eyes trained on the ceiling, his thoughts far away.

“What you do best… watch my back… keep an eye on her… get closer to her... make sure that no one else gets too close.”

Great… just what I needed… get close… keep your hands to yourself… protect her… mumbled quietly Jordan.

Distantly, he could hear Brandon continue to speak, but he could barely hear anything. His thoughts wandered to the previous evening trying to remember at least something from what led him to the bed with a complete stranger, furthermore none other than his best friend’s little sister, the one who always will be off limits for him. Still feeling embarrassed about what happened. Still feeling guilty for losing control, and still angry that he couldn’t get her out of his head, no matter how hard he would try.

Absent-mindedly, he took out his phone, scrolling through his calls and notifications, half-listening to Brandon. His eyes caught on one received phone call from his mother, followed by three missed ones straight afterward. And a few voicemails.

Mentally, he noted that he would need to listen to them, in case it was something urgent, and to call his mother, surprised that she still didn’t call him. The distant, but familiar feeling, that the last phone call from her did not go too well, gnawed at him. And he knew that this time she managed to get under his skin. This is why he lost control. This is why he felt frustrated and angry. And this is why whatever happened was on him.

He closed his eyes, straining his memory to restore the events that got erased by the amount of alcohol that he consumed and by the heat of the moment that followed after. He knew that before anything happened he made sure that she wanted this as much as he did. Made sure she knew what was happening and agreed on that knowing what she was doing. But it didn’t make him feel less guilty and didn’t make her less off limits. His thoughts returned back to try and reproduce the events that led them to bed, including their second accidental meeting.

My mother got me again… and I drank… and drank… and drank. I drank so much that I barely could think, blinded by anger and alcohol. And when my body collided with Rachel’s in that dark hallway I felt something else apart from the anger. It was like I was struck by the lightning that zapped through me... I barely can remember what happened after that. But I know that whatever happened I knew what I wanted. And I wanted her as much as she wanted me. Thought Jordan. The flash of him emptying one glass after another, without even registering what exactly he drunk, striking him. As through the daze, he heard Brandon’s voice, snapping him back to reality, and for the first time, since he entered the room, he looked up at his friend.

“So did you score with her? Or tell me that you at least got her number as I told you to do,” grunted Brandon, while Jordan looked at him in confusion.

“What do you mean you told me to get her number?” asked Jordan, furrowing his brows.

“Man, pay attention… I sent you a text, or did you not receive it?”

Quickly, Jordan looked back at his phone, scrolling through his texts, clicking on the new message received yesterday just after 10 pm.

“Just seen you bump into a pretty blonde. She is tiny, but with killer legs and ass to die for. Go for it or at least ask for her phone number. Tell her you are asking for a very single and a very available friend ;) And if you don’t plan on taking it further than the lip-lock then let me know, I totally will. B.”

Jordan’s eyes widened at the message while he reread it again.

Shit… he is hitting on his own sister… just exactly what I needed. Jordan cursed, frowning at his friend.

The memory of him bumping into Rachel flashed in front of his eyes and he grunted remembering her hands against his chest, so small and so delicate. The golden hair blurred his vision the second prior a pair of beautiful forest green eyes met his in surprise before a flicker of anger and mistrust shot through them.

He could feel how his own anger was fuelled by hers in the same instant joined by a sudden spark of electricity zapping through him. His hands balled into the fists, gripping the phone firmer. The quiet groan of frustration escaped his throat, watching her eyes move closer and closer until all he could see was the forest-green light in front of him, burning with flames of passion fuelled by her anger.

Brandon’s voice faded to nothingness when visions started to explode in front of his eyes, unsure of what was real and what was just a figment of his imagination. Trying to figure out what he could trust, and what could be considered a fantasy, he never thought he had. Not sure why, but trying to reproduce the events of the previous evening.

His heart jumped when a blurred image of a blonde girl flashed before his eyes, and he felt a wave of heat running through him from the vision. Her lips pressed to his, kissing him firmly, hungrily. He couldn’t make out her face or anything about her, just the feeling of her lips and a faint taste that was slipping away every time he tried to remember it. His pants and boxers hung around his ankles, and his back pressed against the cold frame of the front door. Her hand wrapped around the base of his cock, stroking him firmly before sliding to her knees, wrapping her lips around the tip of his dick.

The blurred image disappeared as quickly as it emerged, leaving him breathless.

“I cannot believe she did this. Did she…? Did she really give me a blowjob on a porch…. outside of the house?” he sputtered internally, his eyes flying open and his breathing became uneven. A sheer terror filled him, and his pulse skyrocketed at the thought. “How? How is it even possible I let her do this? Oh my God, did I really let her suck my dick, where everyone could see us? Degrading her like that… God, if Brandon will ever find out he will kill me.” thought he, feeling how the guilt almost swallowed him, bringing him to his knees. Needing to remember more, needing to know what he had done or let her do to him. His fists firmly clenched at his sides, desperately straining his memory further, trying to remember what had happened between them. Hoping that the reality wouldn’t be worse than a blurred vision he just has seen, hoping that this wasn’t real. And finally, after a kaleidoscope of blurred images flashing in front of his eyes, he saw the sequence of the clearest visions he could, feeling the full extent of the desire he ever felt in his life. The desire that was only fuelled by the image of her eyes. Feeling how his length started to harden just from the memories.

There it is… the clear image of him holding a blonde girl with soul-piercing eyes in his arms. Her legs wrapped around his waist, while she tried to open the door. Their kisses grew more heated and desperate, the faint taste of tequila and lime haunting his distant memory. Her sinful coral lips, moving against his, their tongues dancing together.

He could feel how the wind was knocked out of him, leaving him breathless, his eyes wide opened, when the image of her squirming body beneath him emerged in his mind. And he could feel how her soaked tight pussy was pulling him deeper into her warmth with every spasm of her body, making him gasp for air. The clear memory of the strongest orgasm he ever had, hit him hard, making his heart skip a beat. Making him almost cum instantly in his jeans without even a single touch.

I’m screwed… I’m so screwed. Thought Jordan, sitting straight on his bed, his eyes wide, as the weight of reality hit him hard. Oblivious to his friend’s distress, Brandon still continued to speak. Talking about how wonderful it would be for them to hang out at Jordan’s place more often, letting him see more of his baby sister.

Jordan swallowed thickly, thinking of how possibly he could allow this to happen. How he possibly could sleep with the girl who is his best friend’s baby sister and who always will be off limits. The one who always will be too good for him or anyone else.

The frustration and guilt, mixed with anger for letting this to happen overwhelmed him. And he raised his eyes at his friend. The panic filling them, unsure of how possibly he will be able to share this house with her. Unsure of how possibly he could betray his friend like that and what possibly he would be able to do to fix it. Wanting to come clean, but not able to find the right words to do that except of just being honest.

I slept with your sister… mumbled Jordan, but too quietly for Brandon to hear.

Tagging: @choices-bound @lahelasaveiro

#Book 1: Consequences #contemporary romance #Jordan Williams x Rachel Ferguson #Brandon Ferguson

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avversiera-writes · 4 years ago

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‘till death do us part - chapter 7 [tobirama senju/you]

Chapter 7 - Make Him King

Summary: Tobirama gives Hashirama a chance to make it right. Unknowingly, pieces fall into place, pushing Tobirama to finally step up.

Words: 3.4k

A/N: okay, somewhere in this series, i did say that Hashirama stepped down as Hokage because of his depression, his self-destructing way of gambling and maybe alcholism. I did not accept the fact that Hashirama's death was GLOSSED OVER, so I am slowly making preparations of how to go about it. Depression is serious, and it affects not only you, but the people around you. I hope I did it justice implying it here because you know this is the ninja world, there is no such thing as mental health to them apparently. I also did put in like little easter eggs that most of these characters here suffer a form of ptsd, exacerbated by the situations they are put in, but I will leave it to you to draw conclusions. Maybe it isn't enough, but the lack of evidence can sometimes be telling.

the Senju brothers will make up, they are siblings after all, and they have a really strong bond. these are just tough times.

anyways, get ready for the last chapter LOLLLLS

cw // VERY SLIGHT knife? blade play??? listen to two weeks by fka twigs when you get to it HEHEHHE

available on AO3.

<< Chapter 1 - Allegiances // Chapter 2 - Union // Chapter 3 - Love Like You // Chapter 4 - Look to the Horizon // Chapter 5 - Return // Chapter 6 - How to Steal a Crown

While you dry yourself, Tobirama prepares hot tea and sets up the fireplace just outside the living room to keep the heat going. You settle yourself on Tobirama’s makeshift study in the living room, and study the ledgers he presented to you, and his upcoming plans that the village is gradually adapting. You sip at the hot tea, and thank Tobirama when he puts a thicker blanket on your shoulders and the two of you spend this late hour in silence, going over the papers that Tobirama arranged on the table.

“Tobirama, this is all well and good–amazing–really,” you praise him for his plans–they are more than what you can imagine. Tobirama has such an intelligent mind, and each time, he never fails to surprise you. “But, some of these take years and a lot of money to apply.”

“I know,” Tobirama drones on.

“I do not know if the village will hold,” you say, trying to find the right words to express what is on your mind. “Appearance-wise, we are quite strong, but these...are incriminating evidence. Someone is always out there, looking for an in, a weakness, and technically, this is tyranny.”

Tobirama nods stoically, and his eyes darken.

“If someone usurps your brother’s place unexpectedly,” you begin, but Tobirama finishes your sentence.

“Then Konoha is doomed,” he concludes and he meets your eyes. You see sorrow and determination in them, his preparation to do the worst to do good.

“Everything you have worked for, have fought for, will fall apart,” you affirm. “It is one thing to build these walls and these incredible infrastructures...but we are dust without labor and money and you know this already.”

You glance at your husband, wondering why you have to lay out his thoughts for him.

Tobirama stands up and he starts to pace.

“Tobirama, you know what to do,” you aver, and you set down the book you are holding. You watch the way his jaw tenses. “What are you waiting for?”

Tobirama continues to pace, and you can clearly see the wheels turning in his head. “He will never forgive me for this.”

You press your lips together, and you let out a heavy sigh. “Does this count as a coup?”

“What?” Tobirama snaps, his eyes getting fiery by the second. “Of course not. We can get a council together and vote. We’re not killing anyone.”

You sigh in relief. “Well, good. You know you won’t stand a chance against your brother.”

“I am glad to know that you have such unwavering faith in me,” Tobirama sneers.

“Okay, okay, calm down,” you try to pacify him.

“Stop joking around,” Tobirama commands.

You gesture at him to keep going. You begin to fill your cup with tea again, but Tobirama takes the teapot and pours it himself.

“I froze the village funds temporarily so that I can give back what was taken,” Tobirama says. “But it will not last.”

“My students are still in my family’s land,” you begin slowly. “I can write a letter and ask for some money to be delivered, if that can help.”

Tobirama nods, and he sighs in relief. “That will help. The other daimyos are still hesitant to loan money, and well, we cannot let the word spread too far.”

“The daimyos love their money.” You sigh, and see Tobirama crack a small smirk.

“Now, obviously, this is a temporary solution,” you facilitate the conversation. “What are you going to do now? These plans...Tobirama, they require proper management and judgement, and from what you have told me, your brother is not up for this.”

Tobirama’s forehead knits in frustration.

“It is not betrayal,” you reassure him. “He will learn to forgive you with time.”

“I will give him one more chance to get it together,” Tobirama asserts, but the both of you know well how things are going to go.

You finally release a breath you have been holding. Things are happening too fast, and too soon. You are not ready to give up your husband for the village, but he is someone who never steps away from responsibility. Not when he has the means to make everything right. You wonder if you are encouraging another storm.

Tobirama leaves before lunch, leaving you alone in a messy house that for some reason refuses to make itself habitable. Despite your efforts of moving your stuff in, it still feels empty. For now, you just try to clean what you can without being too exhausted, and you peek into Tobirama’s study, trying to decide if you should touch anything and risk his lecturing about how particular he is about his things.

You leave it alone for now, and you decide to wander around the house. You observe the garden, and the small pond in the corner, walk on the cobbled stone paths that seem to wind all over the place. The house seems very traditional compared to the small apartment that you used to stay in, that this transition to a bigger house makes you feel so little and vulnerable. You want to fill it up with something, but then you do not want anything unconventional in the house and alienate yourself from it. No, you want something inviting, and warm, a foundation to build a life on.

You are not much of a gardener, since you have spent more time holding weapons rather than flowers, but you decide to try your hand on it so that you can fill your time and occupy your mind. You go around the village, looking for simple decorations, and new curtains and bedsheets, seeds of flowers you want to try and raise, and you focus on your self-made tasks.

While going around the market to shop for dinner ingredients, you spot Hiruzen talking to a lady with light brown hair, who seems to be looking at him, unimpressed, but you can spot the softness around her eyes. You decide to stick around, pretending to mind your own business, to observe what’s up, and when the lady leaves, you decide to approach Hiruzen, whose ears are slightly blushing from the encounter.

“Hm, who was that?” You ask casually.

Tobirama’s favorite student starts, and he turns to you, like you caught him red-handed.

You raise an eyebrow, and Hiruzen shakes his head, finding no reason to keep this a secret from you.

“Her name is Biwako, she’s studying to be a medical-nin,” Hiruzen clears his throat. He relieves some of the stuff you are carrying. “How are you and Tobirama-sensei?”

You shrug, and you give Hiruzen a playful smile. “But I want to talk about you and Biwako.”

“Sensei,” Hiruzen protests.

“Fine, fine,” you chuckle.

Hiruzen seems to have grown older, it’s hard to believe that they were just pre-teens when you first met them. Now, he is even getting ready to date and it makes you almost nostalgic.

As you two near your home, Hirzuen’s face changes to a more serious one. He seems to be stringing the correct sentences to say. His forehead knits, and lips purse, and you sigh.

“Yes?”

“Tobirama-sensei met with my father and the other clan leaders,” Hiruzen starts. “Is something...wrong?”

You stare ahead as you walk, trying to think about how to go about this.

“Your sensei will not penalize you for deducing on your own,” you tell him. “For now…”

You stop short from the gate of your house, sensing a presence in it.

“I will take it from here, okay?” You send Hiruzen a reassuring smile, and take your stuff back from him. “I will see you soon.”

Hiruzen’s puzzled look does not get better, but he does as you say and leaves. You enter your home and find your sister-in-law waiting for you by the engawa. You look around, trying to see if she brought her sons with her or her personal maids, but she is alone.

You set the rest of your things on the porch and you gesture inside to let her in.

Your heart thuds against your throat. Mito looks refined and elegant as always, and this is emphasized by the fact that the current state of your house is in disarray. You almost feel ashamed, but you note that the air she weaves around you is serious. You are not really sure how to act around her yet, but you remember her kindness towards you before your wedding.

“I won’t be long,” Mito suddenly says.

You nod and avert your eyes as a sign of respect.

“I know that someday your husband will be Hokage,” Mito folds her hands in front of her. “I did not imagine that it will come so soon, and in this way.”

“Tobirama is only trying to help,” you say evenly, but even to you, it sounds lacking and unconvincing.

“Save your words,” Mito cuts sharply. “I will talk to my husband to step down willingly, if it comes to it.”

You look down at the floor. You hear her move towards the door.

“I hope that this does not cause a rift between us,” Mito suddenly says. “I do not hope to alienate you. I think we could be friends, if you choose to act on behalf of friendship. This is my hand being extended to you.”

You hold your breath until she leaves, and you let it out, feeling the need to sit down. This is why you hated your husband’s politics. It suffocates and it hurts others even if you do not mean to. You wonder how Tobirama does it. He probably finds it fun despite the stress that it brings him.

You forget any thoughts of gardening for today and you search for your swords.

You twist the katana in your hand, slowly forcing the other half of your body to get back to working condition. It is not as flexible as before, but the pain is completely gone, and not even a visible scar is left. Focusing your energy at the point of the blade, you go forward and wind it back to strike at the air. Then, quickly keeping the sword in a straight line, you stab at the air, and your body fluidly follows to flip forward. You let your thoughts pass through you and you deliver them out, like an act of contrition.

You flip your sword again, your wrist twisting to wind behind your arm behind you back, and you rest your blade on your shoulder blade.

Taking a deep breath, you wait for your heartbeat to steady itself. Sweat drops from your temple, from your neck to your chest, and the cool late afternoon that sweeps by immediately provides relief.

You feel Tobirama’s presence come up from behind, and you whirl around, unwinding your arm from your back, and you point your sword towards him.

Tobirama regards you, his face easing to a more smug expression.

You use the flat tip of the katana to tip his chin upwards, and Tobirama’s eyes narrow, anticipating your next move.

An inexplicable hunger tears through your body, and you bring your sword down to his chest, tracing lightly at the lines, until it stops short on his collar. The warm afternoon changes, and suddenly, your skin is humming and it flushes with heat. You watch as Tobirama visibly swallows, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down. You undo his clothes by cutting the front of his yukata open, revealing his naked and defined torso.

Biting your lower lip, you lightly press the sharp edge of your blade to the center of his abdomen, drawing blood, and the sight almost makes you light-headed. You do not know what has gotten into you, but it makes you want to drink in Tobirama and get your fill.

“Everything is arranged,” Tobirama states, and he knocks the blade aside with his palm, catching you off-guard and seizing the moment to his direction. Then, he grabs the blunt edge of the blade and uses it to pull you closer to him.

Your mouth latches itself to his mouth and you devour him, licking the neck muscle that juts out when he flexes his jaw, and you travel further down, to the base of his chest and suck the blood that you drew out. Your free hand grabs at one of Tobirama’s arms to placate him and prevent him from touching you, and you look up coyly, meeting his fierce eyes. Then, you take the blade to his neck, and regard him from a distance.

In this moment and in another Senju household, Mito is talking to Hashirama and she is trying to steal him back from the claws of the demons that live in the shadows of every contrived reality.

And you are getting ready to throw your own husband into the fire.

“And if it doesn’t work?” You ask, and you meet his eyes levelly.

Tobirama finally gives the words life. “I will take up the mantle.”

You lower your sword, your emotions and the pride you feel for him clashing against each other.

“I haven’t had you for long,” you murmur.

Tobirama stands there, unsure of what to make of your comment. “Preposterous,” he snaps. “I’m not dying.”

You raise an eyebrow.

“You understand the responsibilities it demands of me,” Tobirama explains as if you already don’t know.

Gods, you have spent so much time fearing for him over it.

“Shut up,” you whisper.

You plant your sword to the ground, and you go to him and you capture his lips into yours. Tobirama’s hands immediately come to your waist, and he returns your kiss with the same fervor. You take his face into your hands, and you relay to him your heart. You open yourself more and more to him, and maybe it is reckless. Maybe you will lose everything, but nothing is set in stone.

Tobirama presses your body against his aggressively, and he carries you in a swift movement, and lays you down on your back on the engawa. He violently pulls apart your clothing, and rips it off you. His mouth ravishes your neck, the dips of your collarbone. His hands fondle your breasts, and kneads your waist, and you writhe under him, his every touch making you more euphoric by the second. You close your eyes, and you arch your body towards him, yearning for him to take you.

You gasp out your want, and he presses a soothing kiss on your collarbone. You hear his breathing, loud and overwhelmed, and then, he fucks you senseless on the wraparound porch of your house. You stifle your screams, as they sound almost guttural, but Tobirama takes your wrists and pins them above your head as he grinds into you at a rapacious pace. He leans over, and kisses you on the lips, insistent and tender, and you let him in, closer, and even closer.

Your eyes snap open as Tobirama ruts against you, and your hips and your legs shake from pure ecstasy. You see Tobirama’s eyes, and you feel his desperation and the fight that he has yet to continue inside his mind.

You bite Tobirama’s shoulder as you come, and Tobirama fucks you through it, his hips snapping wildly, and you feel him unravel inside you with a growl and you keen, tears involuntary flowing out from your eyes.

You gasp, as your high continues to make your body spasm–every touch sends jolts of pleasure that wipes your mind white. Tobirama leans over you to cover your body with his, not yet pulling out. He plants light kisses on your temple, your cheekbone and your ear, and he whispers your name, and three words that he always saves for you.

Tobirama has only said it once before, but he has said it to you more than anyone has.

Your fingers come up to brush his cheek, and you hold him closer, showing him that you heard him. You feel his fingers clutch your hair, and then he slides his hand under the back of your head.

He meets your eyes and you remember him like this, all soft and broken open for you. This is the Tobirama that you have always seen beneath his many and complicated layers. It took a while to pry them apart. You want to hope for the best, but maybe Tobirama’s pragmatism is rubbing off on you. You know that it is simply time.

You crack a tired smile. “You say the worst things.”

The surroundings are dark now, but you can make out the amused expression on his face. “I did say it first.”

You chuckle, and Tobirama hooks your legs around his waist, and then picks you up by sliding his arms around your back to carry you into the house.

The council is gathered in a closed off room somewhere undisclosed in the village. This is a meeting about Konoha’s village funds, and a scare tactic to make Hashirama get his act together. The council filled with the clan leaders are eyeing each other, sensing the tension between the two Senju brothers.

Tobirama jots down anything that may be of importance, and when the meeting is adjourned, Hashirama abruptly stands up before anyone else could move.

“Alright, what is this?” Hashirama finally demands.

“Brother,” Tobirama interrupts. “Do you not mind?”

Hashirama seems to have grown his claws around his brother. “I do not like what this council insinuates.”

The days of fighting are finally weighing on the two of them.

Tobirama watches his brother carefully, and he looks down on the paper, unable to read his writing. Technically, they cannot really abdicate him without the presence of the fire daimyo, so he does not know what Hashirama is talking about. This was only supposed to get the village on his back.

“Fine,” Hashirama snaps. “I quit. You be the Hokage then.”

The room erupts into chaos, and Tobirama stares at his elder brother, aghast. Hashirama storms out of the room, and Tobirama glances at the council, for once, unsure of what to say. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

Tobirama chases after his brother, and they stop moving once they make it outside.

“Elder brother, I beseech you to take back your words,” Tobirama almost sounds pleading. “The village still needs you.”

“I single-handedly almost destroyed what we built,” Hashirama almost shouts as he whirls around. “You know well that you are the only one who is capable of leading it, of making the harder decisions I could not make.”

Tobirama crosses his arms, and he falls silent. The air grows thick with their auras, but it is not to fight with each other.

“I do not want to lose anyone else,” Hashirama confesses brokenly. “This village means nothing if…”

Tobirama angrily says, “If Madara is not here? After all this time, you forgive him?”

“You and your paranoia towards the Uchiha!” Hashirama shouts back. “He was a member of this village and you actively opposed him!”

“I did what I had to do!” Tobirama snaps steely. “For you! For this village!”

“Keep telling yourself that!”

Tobirama shuts his mouth, and he backs off.

A breeze passes by, carrying the sound of rustling leaves.

Tobirama lets out a shaky breath. “Brother, please.”

Hashirama turns to walk away, and Tobirama clenches his fists.

“I need you to be with me on this,” Tobirama begs.

Hashirama stops. “You never needed anybody in your life, Tobirama. That’s why our late father left you to your own devices. You do well on your own."

“Elder brother,” Tobirama protests.

Hashirama turns his head to regard his younger brother. “I will always be there for you. You are my family, but you must remember to thank your wife. I did not give you this seat.”

Tobirama’s eyes narrow, and he grits his teeth.

“She gave you that seat, and now, she will suffer because of you.” Hashirama walks away, leaving a stunned Tobirama.

He watches his brother’s figure disappear in the distance, and an impossible weight places itself on his shoulders. He looks to the sky, but it does not grant any reprieve, after all, he did set the motion for these series of events, along with his wife. He only has his ways, and his undying loyalty to his brother and his family. There is no time for him to consider himself.

This is the way he has made it, but for the first time, he does not know the right from wrong below the picture perfect goal of peace, and their village. There is him, in the middle of it all.

To be continued...

Epilogue: The World As He Made It >>

#angelica writes #Tobirama Senju #Senju Tobirama #Hashirama Senju #Mito Uzumaki #tobirama x reader #tobirama x you #hiruzen sarutobi #sarutobi biwako #naruto fanfiction #my kinks are showing #'til death do us part #you never said goodbye timeline/au

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butterflies-dragons · 4 years ago

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Hello! I love your blog. Your meta about women in Jon’s life and Lyanna was so good. Antis always try to ignore the Sansa and Lyanna parallels which is absurd because her story is so similar with Sansa’s... I guess they want to ignore those because they don’t want Sansa to be destined with a Targaryen prince (aka jonsa 🤭). So thanks for pointing them out. Are you planning to write a meta just about Sansa and Lyanna? It would be a good guide for our jonsa arguments. Have a nice day.

Hello Anon,

Thanks for your words.

Antis and haters gonna oppose and hate. That’s their thing. They questioned and denied every parallel that Lyanna and Sansa actually share, and proceed to attack anyone who dare to say they share those parallels. What’s knew about that?

Lyanna and Arya parallels are textual evident, they are easily spotted but they could be easily questioned as well, especially because most of the statements about Lyanna came from Ned, and he is not only an unreliable narrator, but his memories of Lyanna are embellished by love and trauma. If you contrast what Ned said about Lyanna with other sources, not so biased, Ned’s statements about her don’t look so evident and solid anymore.

Anyway, do you want me to talk more about Lyanna and Sansa parallels? Here you go:

Summary

Original Outline

Beauty

The wolf-blood

She-Wolves of Winterfell

Inner Strength

Sword & Armor

Knights protect the innocent

Singers & Songs

The Rose of Winterfell

Blue Winter Roses

Knights & Queens of Love and Beauty

Failed betrothal to a Baratheon

Pleading Ned to protect part of themselves

Targaryen Imagery

Dead before their time

Ladies of Winterfell

Bonus

LYANNA & SANSA

Original Outline & ASOIAF:

Sansa in the Original Outline:

‘Original Outline Sansa’ was very similar to Lyanna Stark.

Each of the contending families will learn it has a member of dubious loyalty in its midst. Sansa Stark, wed to Joffrey Baratheon, will bear him a son, the heir to the throne, and when the crunch comes she will choose her husband and child over her parents and siblings, a choice she will later bitterly rue. (...) Jaime Lannister will follow Joffrey on the throne of the Seven Kingdoms, by the simple expedient of killing everyone ahead of him in the line of succession and blaming his brother Tyrion for the murders.

[Source]

As you can see, the ‘Original Outline Sansa’ shares parallels with Lyanna Stark and Elia Martel:

Romantically involved with the King/Heir of the Iron Throne

Mothers of their sons

Dead while protecting their children

Unwillingly caused the death of family members

Tagged as members of dubious loyalty to their paternal families

Regretted their doomed romances

But ¿How marrying the heir of the Iron Throne/King of the 7K is supposed to be an act of dubious loyalty? GRRM has stated that in high nobility there is no marriage without the Lord Father of the bride’s blessing. Furthermore, from the wedding the bride belongs to her husband’s house, that’s all the fuzz with the cloaking ceremony, going from the maiden’s cloak to your husband’s cloak. You left your paternal house to belong with your husbands house. Sansa’s loyalty was with her husband, and more important, Sansa’s love and loyalty was with her baby boy. So, how choosing his baby over her paternal house could be seem as an act of dubious loyalty then? And even if she wanted to come back to her paternal family, does she really get a chance without the risk of being captured, separated from her baby, accused of treason and executed, leaving her baby boy motherless?

But according to the Original Outline, there was an enmity between Starks and Lannisters. So, or Joffrey abducted Sansa, or Sansa eloped to marry Joffrey. How very Shakespearean! Romeo and Juliet all over again. Or even better, Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark all over again.

It is also implied by the fandom that this ‘Original Outline Sansa’ dies because the outline says that Jaime dethrones and kills Joffrey and “everyone ahead of him in the line of succession” (Sansa’s baby). Well, Sansa was not in the line of succession, but it’s probable that Jaime had to kill her to get to her baby boy, which reminds me of Elia Martell and her babies’ tragic deaths.

Sansa in Asoiaf:

Asoiaf Sansa never married Joffrey, never bore him a son, and she’s still alive. But she still shares a lot of similarities with her aunt Lyanna.

Both Lyanna and Sansa got infatuated by silver/golden princes, Rhaegar Targaryen and Joffrey Baratheon, and because of those romantic relationships, they unintentionally played a part in the deaths of their fathers and older brothers, Rickard and Brandon, and Ned and Robb. Later, both of them ended trapped in towers regretting their doomed romances.

According to GRRM, Asoiaf Sansa played a part in her father Ned Stark’s death. But I would say that Sansa’s fault lays more in trusting the wrong people than betraying Ned. The act of betrayal requires willful intent, and Sansa never wanted to betray her father. And we can say the same about Lyanna, she trusted Rhaegar over her family, ran away from her approved betrothal, lived a forbidden romance, and died after giving birth a son to her silver prince.

Sansa and Lyanna commit the same actions, but Lyanna gets more sympathy from the readers than Sansa, who is still considered a member of dubious loyalty or plainly a traitor to the Starks.

Also, as it was pointed out before, “Rickard Stark and Catelyn Stark both saw their firstborn sons murdered in front of them, while convinced that their daughters were far away being raped and abused by cruel princes, and then were brutally murdered themselves”.

Beauty:

Both Lyanna and Sansa are considered beautiful, but in different ways.

While Lyanna had a wild beauty:

“She [Lyanna] was,” Eddard Stark agreed, “beautiful, and willful, and dead before her time.” —AGOT - Arya II

Lyanna had only been sixteen, a child-woman of surpassing loveliness. Ned had loved her with all his heart. Robert had loved her even more. She was to have been his bride. —AGOT - Eddard I

"You never knew Lyanna as I did, Robert,” Ned told him. “You saw her beauty, but not the iron underneath”. —AGOT - Eddard VII

“The maid’s a fair one,” Osha said. —AGOT - Bran VII

The northern girl had a wild beauty, as he [Kevan] recalled. —ADWD - Epilogue

The crowning of the Stark girl, who was by all reports a wild and boyish young thing with none of the Princess Elia's delicate beauty, could only have been meant to win the allegiance of Winterfell to Prince Rhaegar's cause, Symond Staunton suggested to the king. —The World of Ice and Fire - The Fall of the Dragons: The Year of the False Spring

Sansa possesses a traditional beauty:

Sansa’s needlework was exquisite. Everyone said so. “Sansa’s work is as pretty as she is”, Septa Mordane told their lady mother once. —AGOT - Arya I

Sansa had the grace to blush. She blushed prettily. She did everything prettily. —AGOT - Arya I

Worse, she was beautiful. Sansa had gotten their mother’s fine high cheekbones and the thick auburn hair of the Tullys. —AGOT - Arya I

“I [Ser Cleos Frey] saw Sansa at the court, the day Tyrion told me his terms. She looked most beautiful, my lady. Perhaps a, a bit wan. Drawn, as it were.” —ACOK - Catelyn VI

Men would say she had my look, but she will grow into a woman far more beautiful than I ever was. —ACOK - Catelyn VII

“You are very beautiful, my lady,” the seamstress said when she was dressed. —ASOS - Sansa III

Ser Kevan told her she was beautiful, Jalabhar Xho said something she did not understand in the Summer Tongue, and Lord Redwyne wished her many fat children and long years of joy. —ASOS - Sansa III

“Ser Ossifer speaks truly, you are the most beautiful maid in all the Seven Kingdoms.” —TWOW - Alayne I

“Had we known such beauty awaited us at the Gates, we would have flown,” Ser Roland said. Though his words were addressed to Myranda Royce, he smiled at Alayne as he said them. —TWOW - Alayne I

The wolf-blood:

Lyanna:

"Ah, Arya. You have a wildness in you, child. 'The wolf blood,' my father used to call it. Lyanna had a touch of it, and my brother Brandon more than a touch. It brought them both to an early grave." Arya heard sadness in his voice; he did not often speak of his father, or of the brother and sister who had died before she was born. "Lyanna might have carried a sword, if my lord father had allowed it. You remind me of her sometimes. You even look like her."

"Lyanna was beautiful," Arya said, startled. Everybody said so. It was not a thing that was ever said of Arya.

“She was,” Eddard Stark agreed, “beautiful, and willful, and dead before her time.”

—AGOT - Arya II

Sansa:

“I’ve never seen an aurochs,” Sansa said, feeding a piece of bacon to Lady under the table. The direwolf took it from her hand, as delicate as a queen. Septa Mordane sniffed in disapproval. “A noble lady does not feed dogs at her table,” she said, breaking off another piece of comb and letting the honey drip down onto her bread. “She’s not a dog, she’s a direwolf,” Sansa pointed out as Lady licked her fingers with a rough tongue. “Anyway, Father said we could keep them with us if we want.” The septa was not appeased. “You’re a good girl, Sansa, but I do vow, when it comes to that creature you’re as willful as your sister Arya.” She scowled. “And where is Arya this morning?"

—AGOT - Sansa I

"It won’t be so bad, Sansa,” Arya said. “We’re going to sail on a galley. It will be an adventure, and then we’ll be with Bran and Robb again, and Old Nan and Hodor and the rest.” She touched her on the arm. “Hodor!” Sansa yelled. “You ought to marry Hodor, you’re just like him, stupid and hairy and ugly!” She wrenched away from her sister’s hand, stormed into her bedchamber, and barred the door behind her.

—AGOT - Sansa III

Jeyne yawned. “Are there any lemon cakes?” Sansa did not like being interrupted, but she had to admit, lemon cakes sounded more interesting than most of what had gone on in the throne room. “Let’s see,” she said. The kitchen yielded no lemon cakes, but they did find half of a cold strawberry pie, and that was almost as good. They ate it on the tower steps, giggling and gossiping and sharing secrets, and Sansa went to bed that night feeling almost as wicked as Arya.

—AGOT - Sansa III

After my name day feast, I’m going to raise a host and kill your brother myself. That’s what I’ll give you, Lady Sansa. Your brother’s head.“ A kind of madness took over her then, and she heard herself say, "Maybe my brother will give me your head.”

—AGOT - Sansa VI

She-Wolves of Winterfell:

Lyanna is literally the she-wolf in the tale of “The Knight of the Laughing Tree”:

But then they heard a roar. 'That's my father's man you're kicking,' howled the she-wolf."

"A wolf on four legs, or two?"

"Two," said Meera.

—ASOS - Bran II

Sansa went from a “wolf girl” to the she-wolf that killed a king:

He smiled at her. "Now, wolf girl, if you can put a name to me as well, then I must concede that you are truly our Hand’s daughter.”

—AGOT - Sansa I

“I forgot, you’ve been hiding under a rock. The northern girl. Winterfell’s daughter. We heard she killed the king with a spell, and afterward changed into a wolf with big leather wings like a bat, and flew out a tower window. But she left the dwarf behind and Cersei means to have his head.”

—ASOS - Arya XIII

“May the Father judge him justly,” murmured a septon. “The dwarf’s wife did the murder with him,” swore an archer in Lord Rowan’s livery. “Afterward, she vanished from the hall in a puff of brimstone, and a ghostly direwolf was seen prowling the Red Keep, blood dripping from his jaws.”

—ASOS - Jaime VII

“Your Grace has forgotten the Lady Sansa,” said Pycelle. The queen bristled. “I most certainly have not forgotten that little she-wolf.” She refused to say the girl’s name. “I ought to have shown her to the black cells as the daughter of a traitor, but instead I made her part of mine own household. She shared my hearth and hall, played with my own children. I fed her, dressed her, tried to make her a little less ignorant about the world, and how did she repay me for my kindness? She helped murder my son.

—AFFC - Cersei IV

What a kick-ass reputation: Sansa, the she-wolf that killed King Joffrey!

Inner Strength:

Lyanna:

"You never knew Lyanna as I did, Robert,” Ned told him. “You saw her beauty, but not the iron underneath”. —AGOT - Eddard VII

Sansa:

My skin has turned to porcelain, to ivory, to steel. —ASOS - Sansa V

Sansa lost her direwolf Lady, and with her, the possibility to develop her abilities as a warg. But GRRM has still made Sansa an skinchanger through poetry. Her skin has changed to porcelain, to ivory, to steel.

Sword & Armor

While Lyanna might have carried a sword, Sansa Stark is a lady armored in courtesy and she polishes her armor with her wits. As Tyrion Lannister said:

My mind is my weapon. My brother has his sword, King Robert has his warhammer, and I have my mind … and a mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone, if it is to keep its edge." Tyrion tapped the leather cover of the book. "That's why I read so much, Jon Snow."

—AGOT - Tyrion II

Lyanna:

Lyanna might have carried a sword, if my lord father had allowed it. You remind me of her sometimes.

—AGOT - Arya II

Sansa:

Sansa felt that she ought to say something. What was it that Septa Mordane used to tell her? A lady’s armor is courtesy, that was it. She donned her armor and said, “I’m sorry my lady mother took you captive, my lord.”

—ACOK - Sansa I

Courtesy is a lady’s armor. You must not offend them, be careful what you say. “I do not know Ser Willas. I have never had the pleasure, my lady. Is he … is he as great a knight as his brothers?”

—ASOS - Sansa I

“Gods have mercy.” The dwarf took another swallow of wine. “Well, talk won’t make you older. Shall we get on with this, my lady? If it please you?” “It will please me to please my lord husband.” That seemed to anger him. “You hide behind courtesy as if it were a castle wall.” “Courtesy is a lady’s armor,” Sansa said. Her septa had always told her that. “I am your husband. You can take off your armor now.” “And my clothing?” “That too.” He waved his wine cup at her. “My lord father has commanded me to consummate this marriage.”

—ASOS - Sansa III

He wanted to reach her, to break through the armor of her courtesy. Was that what made him speak? Or just the need to distract himself from the fullness in his bladder?

[...]

Perhaps that would please Sansa. Gently, he spoke of Braavos, and met a wall of sullen courtesy as icy and unyielding as the Wall he had walked once in the north. It made him weary. Then and now.

—ASOS - Tyrion VIII

Ser Harrold looked down at her coldly. “Why should it please me to be escorted anywhere by Littlefinger’s bastard?”

[...]

A lady’s armor is her courtesy. Alayne could feel the blood rushing to her face. No tears, she prayed. Please, please, I must not cry. “As you wish, ser. And now if you will excuse me, Littlefinger’s bastard must find her lord father and let him know that you have come, so we can begin the tourney on the morrow.” And may your horse stumble, Harry the Heir, so you fall on your stupid head in your first tilt. She showed the Waynwoods a stone face as they blurted out awkward apologies for their companion. When they were done she turned and fled.

—TWOW - Alayne I

Knights protect the innocent:

Lyanna, as herself and as “The Knight of the Laughing Tree”, defended Howland Reed, a bannerman of House Stark:

“None offered a name, but he marked their faces well so he could revenge himself upon them later. They shoved him down every time he tried to rise, and kicked him when he curled up on the ground. But then they heard a roar. ‘That’s my father’s man you’re kicking,’ howled the she-wolf.” “A wolf on four legs, or two?” “Two,” said Meera. “The she-wolf laid into the squires with a tourney sword, scattering them all. The crannogman was bruised and bloodied, so she took him back to her lair to clean his cuts and bind them up with linen. There he met her pack brothers: the wild wolf who led them, the quiet wolf beside him, and the pup who was youngest of the four.

(…)

“Whoever he was, the old gods gave strength to his arm. The porcupine knight fell first, then the pitchfork knight, and lastly the knight of the two towers. None were well loved, so the common folk cheered lustily for the Knight of the Laughing Tree, as the new champion soon was called.”

—ASOS - Bran II

Sansa, as a lady armored with her courtesy and wits, defended and saved Dontos Hollard’s life, a defenestrated knight turned fool:

The king stood. “A cask from the cellars! I’ll see him drowned in it.” Sansa heard herself gasp. “No, you can’t.” Joffrey turned his head. “What did you say?” Sansa could not believe she had spoken. Was she mad? To tell him no in front of half the court? She hadn’t meant to say anything, only … Ser Dontos was drunk and silly and useless, but he meant no harm. “Did you say I can’t? Did you?” “Please,” Sansa said, “I only meant … it would be ill luck, Your Grace … to, to kill a man on your name day.” “You’re lying,” Joffrey said. “I ought to drown you with him, if you care for him so much.” “I don’t care for him, Your Grace.” The words tumbled out desperately. “Drown him or have his head off, only … kill him on the morrow, if you like, but please … not today, not on your name day. I couldn’t bear for you to have ill luck … terrible luck, even for kings, the singers all say so …” Joffrey scowled. He knew she was lying, she could see it. He would make her bleed for this. “The girl speaks truly,” the Hound rasped. “What a man sows on his name day, he reaps throughout the year.” His voice was flat, as if he did not care a whit whether the king believed him or no. Could it be true? Sansa had not known. It was just something she’d said, desperate to avoid punishment. Unhappy, Joffrey shifted in his seat and flicked his fingers at Ser Dontos. “Take him away. I’ll have him killed on the morrow, the fool.” “He is,” Sansa said. “A fool. You’re so clever, to see it. He’s better fitted to be a fool than a knight, isn’t he? You ought to dress him in motley and make him clown for you. He doesn’t deserve the mercy of a quick death.” The king studied her a moment. “Perhaps you’re not so stupid as Mother says.” He raised his voice. “Did you hear my lady, Dontos? From this day on, you’re my new fool. You can sleep with Moon Boy and dress in motley."

—ACOK - Sansa I

Singers & Songs:

Lyanna and Sansa are linked with singers and romantic songs.

Lyanna loved a singer and became a lady in a song, her own tragic romantic story:

The dragon prince sang a song so sad it made the wolf maid sniffle.

—ASOS - Bran II

The wolf maid was Lyanna Stark hearing her dragon prince Rhaegar Targaryen playing a sad song with the harp.

And curiously enough, a blue eyed redhead man called Jon also wept while hearing Rhaegar Targaryen playing a sad song with the harp:

At the welcoming feast, the prince had taken up his silver-stringed harp and played for them. A song of love and doom, Jon Connington recalled, and every woman in the hall was weeping when he put down the harp. Not the men, of course.

—A Dance with Dragons - The Griffin Reborn

Jon Connington was, of course, in love with Rhaegar Targaryen...

Sansa:

Once, when she was just a little girl, a wandering singer had stayed with them at Winterfell for half a year. An old man he was, with white hair and windburnt cheeks, but he sang of knights and quests and ladies fair, and Sansa had cried bitter tears when he left them, and begged her father not to let him go. “The man has played us every song he knows thrice over,” Lord Eddard told her gently. “I cannot keep him here against his will. You need not weep, though. I promise you, other singers will come.”

They hadn’t, though, not for a year or more. Sansa had prayed to the Seven in their sept and old gods of the heart tree, asking them to bring the old man back, or better still to send another singer, young and handsome. But the gods never answered, and the halls of Winterfell stayed silent.

But that was when she was a little girl, and foolish. She was a maiden now, three-and-ten and flowered. All her nights were full of song, and by day she prayed for silence.

—A Feast for Crows - Sansa I

Bran and his brothers and sisters sat with the king's children, Joffrey and Tommen and Princess Myrcella, who'd spent the whole meal gazing at Robb with adoring eyes. Arya made faces across the table when no one was looking; Sansa listened raptly while the king's high harper sang songs of chivalry, and Rickon kept asking why Jon wasn't with them. "Because he's a bastard," Bran finally had to whisper to him.

—ACOK - Bran III

Later, while Sansa was off listening to a troupe of singers perform the complex round of interwoven ballads called the “Dance of the Dragons,” [sung in High Valyrian] Ned inspected the bruise himself. “I hope Forel is not being too hard on you,” he said.

—AGOT - Eddard VII

She pulled a chair close to the hearth, took down one of her favorite books, and lost herself in the stories of Florian and Jonquil, of Lady Shella and the Rainbow Knight, of valiant Prince Aemon and his doomed love for his brother’s queen.

—AGOT - Sansa IV

After the meal had been cleared away, many of the guests asked leave to go to the sept. Cersei graciously granted their request. Lady Tanda and her daughters were among those who fled. For those who remained, a singer was brought forth to fill the hall with the sweet music of the high harp. He sang of Jonquil and Florian, of Prince Aemon the Dragonknight and his love for his brother’s queen, of Nymeria’s ten thousand ships. They were beautiful songs, but terribly sad. Several of the women began to weep, and Sansa felt her own eyes growing moist.

—ACOK - Sansa VI

So the singer played for her, so soft and sad that Arya only heard snatches of the words, though the tune was half-familiar. Sansa would know it, I bet. Her sister had known all the songs, and she could even play a little, and sing so sweetly. All I could ever do was shout the words.

—ASOS - Arya IV

Lady Ashara was my aunt. I never knew her, though. She threw herself into the sea from atop the Palestone Sword before I was born.” “Why would she do that?” said Arya, startled. (...) “Why did she jump in the sea, though?” "Her heart was broken." Sansa would have sighed and shed a tear for true love, but Arya just thought it was stupid.

—ASOS - Arya VIII

"Do you require guarding?” Marillion said lightly. “I am composing a new song, you should know. A song so sweet and sad it will melt even your frozen heart. 'The Roadside Rose,’ I mean to call it. About a baseborn girl so beautiful she bewitched every man who laid eyes upon her.”

—ASOS - Sansa VII

Lyanna and Sansa are also linked with the tale of Bael the Bard and the Rose of Winterfell.

The Rose of Winterfell:

This is the tale:

According to free folk legend, Lord Brandon Stark, the liege of the north, once called Bael a coward. To take revenge for this affront and prove his courage, Bael climbed the Wall, took the kingsroad, and entered Winterfell under the guise of a singer named Sygerrik of Skagos. (“Sygerrik” means “deceiver” in the Old Tongue.) There, he sang until midnight for the lord.

Impressed by his skills as a singer, Lord Stark asked Bael what he wanted as a reward, but he requested only the most beautiful flower blooming in Winterfell’s gardens. As the blue winter roses were just blooming, Brandon Stark presented him with one. The following morning, the maiden daughter of Lord Stark had disappeared, his only child, and in her bed was the blue winter rose.

Lord Brandon sent the members of the Night’s Watch looking for them beyond the Wall, but they never found Bael or the girl. The Stark line was on the verge of extinction, when one day the girl was back in her room, holding in her arms an infant: they had actually never left Winterfell, staying hidden in the crypts. Bael’s bastard with Brandon’s daughter became the new Lord Stark.

Thirty years later, Bael was King-Beyond-the-Wall and led the wildlings’ army south, and he had to fight his own son at the Frozen Ford. There, incapable of killing his own blood, he let himself be killed by Lord Stark. His son brought back Bael’s head to Winterfell, and his mother who had loved the bard, seeing the trophy, killed herself by leaping from the top of a tower. The son was eventually slain by the Boltons.

[Source]

Jon’s first and only lover, Ygritte, told him this story:

“You said you were the Bastard o’ Winterfell.” “I am.” “Who was your mother?” “Some woman. Most of them are.” Someone had said that to him once. He did not remember who. She smiled again, a flash of white teeth. “And she never sung you the song o’ the winter rose?” “I never knew my mother. Or any such song.” “Bael the Bard made it,” said Ygritte. “He was King-beyond-the-Wall a long time back. (...) “Well, long before he was king over the free folk, Bael was a great raider.” (...) “The Stark in Winterfell wanted Bael’s head, but never could take him, and the taste o’ failure galled him. One day in his bitterness he called Bael a craven who preyed only on the weak. When word o’ that got back, Bael vowed to teach the lord a lesson. So he scaled the Wall, skipped down the kingsroad, and walked into Winterfell one winter’s night with harp in hand, naming himself Sygerrik of Skagos. Sygerrik means ‘deceiver’ in the Old Tongue, that the First Men spoke, and the giants still speak.” “North or south, singers always find a ready welcome, so Bael ate at Lord Stark’s own table, and played for the lord in his high seat until half the night was gone. The old songs he played, and new ones he’d made himself, and he played and sang so well that when he was done, the lord offered to let him name his own reward. ‘All I ask is a flower,’ Bael answered, ‘the fairest flower that blooms in the gardens o’ Winterfell.’” “Now as it happened the winter roses had only then come into bloom, and no flower is so rare nor precious. So the Stark sent to his glass gardens and commanded that the most beautiful o’ the winter roses be plucked for the singer’s payment. And so it was done. But when morning come, the singer had vanished . . . and so had Lord Brandon’s maiden daughter. Her bed they found empty, but for the pale blue rose that Bael had left on the pillow where her head had lain.” Jon had never heard this tale before. (...) “Lord Brandon had no other children. At his behest, the black crows flew forth from their castles in the hundreds, but nowhere could they find any sign o’ Bael or this maid. For most a year they searched, till the lord lost heart and took to his bed, and it seemed as though the line o’ Starks was at its end. But one night as he lay waiting to die, Lord Brandon heard a child’s cry. He followed the sound and found his daughter back in her bedchamber, asleep with a babe at her breast.” “Bael had brought her back?” “No. They had been in Winterfell all the time, hiding with the dead beneath the castle. The maid loved Bael so dearly she bore him a son, the song says . . . though if truth be told, all the maids love Bael in them songs he wrote. Be that as it may, what’s certain is that Bael left the child in payment for the rose he’d plucked unasked, and that the boy grew to be the next Lord Stark. So there it is—you have Bael’s blood in you, same as me.”

—ACOK - Jon VI

This tale resembles Jon’s own story: Bael the Bard and Rhaegar Targaryen, both harp players, “abducted” a Stark maid, Brandon’s daughter and Lyanna, ‘the fairest flower that blooms in the gardens o’ Winterfell’. Rhaegar also crowned Lyanna as the Queen of Love and Beauty with blue winter roses, and they procreated a “bastard” son, Jon Snow. Lyanna died after giving birth to Jon, and the memories of that tragic even haunted Ned, who remembers the Lyanna bleeding and the blue winter roses:

"Promise me, Ned," Lyanna's statue whispered. She wore a garland of pale blue roses, and her eyes wept blood.

—AGOT - Eddard XIII

Promise me, Ned, his sister had whispered from her bed of blood. She had loved the scent of winter roses.

—AGOT - Eddard XV

Immediately after this chapter, comes ACOK - Sansa IV, where Sansa got her first period.

So after a chapter about ‘the fairest flower that blooms in the gardens o’ Winterfell’ it follows the chapter where Sansa Stark becomes a maid, Sansa literally flowered.

Next chapter is Jon again. There is a succession of Jon-Sansa-Jon chapters, that linked them thematically.

Also take note that Sansa was “abducted” by Petyr Baelish, a known deceiver, whose surname has a resemblance with the name Bael.

Blue Winter Roses:

Lyanna and Sansa are linked with flowers, but especially with roses:

Lyanna and the blue winter roses:

Ned could recall none of it. ”I bring her flowers when I can,“ he said. ”Lyanna was … fond of flowers.”

—A Game Of Thrones - Eddard I

"Promise me, Ned," Lyanna's statue whispered. She wore a garland of pale blue roses, and her eyes wept blood.

—AGOT - Eddard XIII

Promise me, Ned, his sister had whispered from her bed of blood. She had loved the scent of winter roses.

—AGOT - Eddard XV

Ned remembered the moment when all the smiles died, when Prince Rhaegar Targaryen urged his horse past his own wife, the Dornish princess Elia Martell, to lay the queen of beauty’s laurel in Lyanna’s lap. He could see it still: a crown of winter roses, blue as frost.

—AGOT - Eddard XV

Sansa Stark:

It was enough that she could walk in the yard, pick flowers in Myrcella’s garden, and visit the sept to pray for her father. Sometimes she prayed in the godswood as well, since the Starks kept the old gods.

—AGOT - Sansa V

Her eyes were only for Ser Loras. When the white horse stopped in front of her, she thought her heart would burst. To the other maidens he had given white roses, but the one he plucked for her was red. “Sweet lady,” he said, “no victory is half so beautiful as you.” Sansa took the flower timidly, struck dumb by his gallantry. His hair was a mass of lazy brown curls, his eyes like liquid gold. She inhaled the sweet fragrance of the rose and sat clutching it long after Ser Loras had ridden off.

—AGOT - Sansa II

—ASOS - Sansa VII

So we have Marillion, a singer, composing a song for Alayne Stone, Sansa Stark in disguise, that he meant to call “The Roadside Rose”

And Loras Tyrell, The Knight of Flowers, gave Sansa a single red rose. I will expand on this next, because Loras giving Sansa a red rose is an allegory in reverse of Rhaegar giving Lyanna the crown of blue winter roses.

Knights & Queens of Love and Beauty:

Lyanna was a Mystery Knight AND was crowned Queen of Love and Beauty at the Tourney at Harrenhal.

Lyanna as the Knight of the Laughing Tree

Lyanna, as herself and as a mystery knight, the Knight of the Laughing Tree, defended the crannogman, Howland Reed, a bannerman of House Stark:

But late on the afternoon of that second day, as the shadows grew long, a mystery knight appeared in the lists. Bran nodded sagely. […] “It was the little crannogman, I bet.” “No one knew,” said Meera, “but the mystery knight was short of stature, and clad in ill-fitting armor made up of bits and pieces. The device upon his shield was a heart tree of the old gods, a white weirwood with a laughing red face.” […] “Whoever he was, the old gods gave strength to his arm. The porcupine knight fell first, then the pitchfork knight, and lastly the knight of the two towers. None were well loved, so the common folk cheered lustily for the Knight of the Laughing Tree, as the new champion soon was called.” —ASOS - Bran II

Lyanna as the Queen of Love and Beauty

Rhaegar Targaryen wearing an armor adorned with rubies (red) gave Lyanna a crown of winter roses (blue):

The Targaryen prince armored all in black. On his breastplate was the three-headed dragon of his House, wrought all in rubies that flashed like fire in the sunlight.

—AGOT - Eddard I

—AGOT - Eddard XV

Sansa as a “Knight”

During the Tourney in honor of King Joffrey’s Name Day, Sansa, as a lady armored with her courtesy and wits, defended and saved the life of Ser Dontos Hollard, a defenestrated knight turned fool, as I explained above.

Sansa as the Queen of Love and Beauty

Art credit: Loras Tyrell Gives Sansa Stark a Rose and the Hand’s Tournament by Jonathan Burton.

Sansa was the unofficial Queen of Love and Beauty at the Tourney of the Hand. GRRM wrote this passage as a resemble of the Tourney at Harrenhal, hiding hints and reversing colors.

Sansa attended the Tourney of the Hand at Kings Landing and met Petyr Baelish who told her that her mother, Catelyn Tully, was his Queen of Love and Beauty:

"Your mother was my queen of beauty once,” the man said quietly. His breath smelled of mint. “You have her hair.” His fingers brushed against her cheek as he stroked one auburn lock. Quite abruptly he turned and walked away. —AGOT - Sansa II

Loras Tyrell, the Knight of Flowers, wearing an armor adorned with sapphires (blue) gave Sansa a (red) rose:

When the Knight of Flowers made his entrance, a murmur ran through the crowd, and he heard Sansa’s fervent whisper, “Oh, he’s so beautiful.” Ser Loras Tyrell was slender as a reed, dressed in a suit of fabulous silver armor polished to a blinding sheen and filigreed with twining black vines and tiny blue forget-me-nots. The commons realized in the same instant as Ned that the blue of the flowers came from sapphires; a gasp went up from a thousand throats. Across the boy’s shoulders his cloak hung heavy. It was woven of forget-me-nots, real ones, hundreds of fresh blooms sewn to a heavy woolen cape. —AGOT - Eddard VII

During the second day of the tourney, Sansa wore the red rose in her hair:

The boy from Highgarden did something with his legs, and his horse pranced sideways, nimble as a dancer. Sansa clutched at his arm. “Father, don’t let Ser Gregor hurt him,” she said. Ned saw she was wearing the rose that Ser Loras had given her yesterday. Jory had told him about that as well. —AGOT - Eddard VII

The Tourney at the Gates of the Moon

And at this point in the Books, Sansa, as Alayne Stone, is organizing a tourney to elect the members of Robert Arryn’s personal guard, named the Brotherhood of the Winged Knights.

Alayne Stone’s betrothed, Harrold Hardyng, known as Harry the Heir, is competing in the tourney.

Since her betrothed is competing in the jousting and since she is daughter of Petyr Baelish, Lord Protector of the Vale, Alayne Stone has great chances to be crowned the Queen of Love and Beauty of the tourney.

The Tourney at Ashford Meadows

Sansa has also strong links with the Tourney at Ashford Meadows, but this is a matter for another time.

Failed betrothal to a Baratheon:

Both Lyanna and Sansa were betrothed with a Baratheon, Lyanna with Robert and Sansa with Joffrey:

If Lyanna had lived, we should have been brothers, bound by blood as well as affection. Well, it is not too late. I have a son. You have a daughter. My Joff and your Sansa shall join our houses, as Lyanna and I might once have done. —AGOT - Eddard I

There is also this parallel between Jenny of Oldstones, Lyanna & Sansa [I wrote about it here]:

Note the parallels between Duncan Targaryen, his betrothed Baratheon and Jenny of Oldstones & Rhaegar Targaryen, Lyanna Stark and her betrothed Robert Baratheon: A Targaryen prince breaking an engagement with a member of House Baratheon that then originates a rebellion.

And this: Sansa was betrothed with Joffrey “Baratheon” and the engagement was broken in the middle of a war with Robb Stark leading an army against King Joffrey, and Jon almost breaking his vows to join Robb’s army to avenge Ned’s death and rescue their sisters. All of which makes me think about these parallels: Sansa being a hostage in King’s Landing & Lyanna’s “abduction”, Ned’s death & Rickard’s death, Robb’s death & Brandon’s death. And that leaves Jon to possibly play the role of Ned Stark in the future.

Basically if Jon and Sansa happens, they will parallel two stories: Rhaegar and Lyanna, a Targaryen/Stark couple; and Ned and Cat, a Stark/Tully couple.

And right now in the Books, Sansa Stark, under the disguise of Alayne Stone, is betrothed with a Robert-like young man: Harrold Hardyng, also known as Harry the Heir:

Both orphaned boys

Both wards at the Vale

Both handsome and physically strong

Both linked to Jon Arryn and the Vale

Both fathered bastards in the Vale: Mya Stone // Alys Stone

Both involved in a conflict with a cousin: Robert killed his cousin Rhaegar and became King // If Robert Arryn dies, his cousin Harry will be new Lord Arryn.

Both betrothed to a Stark girl: Lyanna Stark // (Alayne Stone) Sansa Stark

Pleading Ned to protect part of themselves:

"Stop them," Sansa pleaded, "don't let them do it, please, please, it wasn't Lady, it was Nymeria, Arya did it, you can't, it wasn't Lady, don't let them hurt Lady, I'll make her be good, I promise, I promise …" She started to cry.

—AGOT - Eddard III

He could still hear Sansa pleading, as Lyanna had pleaded once.

—AGOT - Eddard IV

"Promise me, Ned," Lyanna's statue whispered. She wore a garland of pale blue roses, and her eyes wept blood.

—AGOT - Eddard XIII

Promise me, Ned, his sister had whispered from her bed of blood. She had loved the scent of winter roses.

—AGOT - Eddard XV

Lyanna was pleading to her brother Ned to protect her son, while Sansa was pleading to her father Ned to protect her direwolf, Lady, part of Sansa’s soul. Later, Ned regretted failing Sansa…

Sansa’s pleading and repeating the word “promise”, triggered Ned’s trauma over Lyanna’s death. That also happened when Robert asked Ned to protect his children.

Targaryen Imagery:

Sansa’s chapters hide hints about Lyanna’s son, Jon Snow, true parentage.

Indeed, Sansa Stark has a very interesting imagery of white/off-white fabrics stained with blood and fire. I wrote more about it here.

Sansa’s Ivory silk dress stained with blood orange juice and ashes

“Liar,” Arya said. Her hand clenched the blood orange so hard that red juice oozed between her fingers.

“Go ahead, call me all the names you want,” Sansa said airily. “You won’t dare when I’m married to Joffrey. You’ll have to bow to me and call me Your Grace.” She shrieked as Arya flung the orange across the table. It caught her in the middle of the forehead with a wet squish and plopped down into her lap.

“You have juice on your face, Your Grace,” Arya said.

It was running down her nose and stinging her eyes. Sansa wiped it away with a napkin. When she saw what the fruit in her lap had done to her beautiful ivory silk dress, she shrieked again. “You’re horrible,” she screamed at her sister. “They should have killed you instead of Lady!”

(…)

“Arya started it,” Sansa said quickly, anxious to have the first word. “She called me a liar and threw an orange at me and spoiled my dress, the ivory silk, the one Queen Cersei gave me when I was betrothed to Prince Joffrey. She hates that I’m going to marry the prince. She tries to spoil everything, Father, she can’t stand for anything to be beautiful or nice or splendid.”

(…)

“Sansa stalked away with her head up. She was to be a queen, and queens did not cry. At least not where people could see. When she reached her bedchamber, she barred the door and took off her dress. The blood orange had left a blotchy red stain on the silk. “I hate her!” she screamed. She balled up the dress and flung it into the cold hearth, on top of the ashes of last night’s fire. When she saw that the stain had bled through onto her underskirt, she began to sob despite herself. She ripped off the rest of her clothes wildly, threw herself into bed, and cried herself back to sleep.”

—A Game of Thrones - Sansa III

When the king’s herald moved forward, Sansa realized the moment was almost at hand. She smoothed down the cloth of her skirt nervously. She was dressed in mourning, as a sign of respect for the dead king, but she had taken special care to make herself beautiful. Her gown was the ivory silk that the queen had given her, the one Arya had ruined, but she’d had them dye it black and you couldn’t see the stain at all. She had fretted over her jewelry for hours and finally decided upon the elegant simplicity of a plain silver chain.

—A Game of Thrones - Sansa V

Take note that the ivory silk dress was a “betrothal gift” from Cersei, that Sansa later had to “dye it black” so the “blood and fire stain” couldn’t be seen at all.

Oh George! Your wording here is just genius!

Sansa’s bedclothes stained with her moonblood and fire

When she woke, the pale light of morning was slanting through her window, yet she felt as sick and achy as if she had not slept at all. There was something sticky on her thighs. When she threw back the blanket and saw the blood, all she could think was that her dream had somehow come true. She remembered the knives inside her, twisting and ripping. She squirmed away in horror, kicking at the sheets and falling to the floor, breathing raggedly, naked, bloodied, and afraid.

But as she crouched there, on her hands and knees, understanding came. “No, please,” Sansa whimpered, “please, no.” She didn’t want this happening to her, not now, not here, not now, not now, not now, not now.

Madness took hold of her. Pulling herself up by the bedpost, she went to the basin and washed between her legs, scrubbing away all the stickiness. By the time she was done, the water was pink with blood. When her maidservants saw it they would know. Then she remembered the bedclothes. She rushed back to the bed and stared in horror at the dark red stain and the tale it told. All she could think was that she had to get rid of it, or else they’d see. She couldn’t let them see, or they’d marry her to Joffrey and make her lay with him.

Snatching up her knife, Sansa hacked at the sheet, cutting out the stain. If they ask me about the hole, what will I say? Tears ran down her face. She pulled the torn sheet from the bed, and the stained blanket as well. I’ll have to burn them. She balled up the evidence, stuffed it in the fireplace, drenched it in oil from her bedside lamp, and lit it afire. Then she realized that the blood had soaked through the sheet into the featherbed, so she bundled that up as well, but it was big and cumbersome, hard to move. Sansa could get only half of it into the fire. She was on her knees, struggling to shove the mattress into the flames as thick grey smoke eddied around her and filled the room, when the door burst open and she heard her maid gasp.

In the end it took three of them to pull her away. And it was all for nothing. The bedclothes were burnt, but by the time they carried her off her thighs were bloody again. It was as if her own body had betrayed her to Joffrey, unfurling a banner of Lannister crimson for all the world to see.

—A Clash of Kings - Sansa IV

Even if the color of the bedclothes was not stated as white/off-white, it’s very probable that they were of white or an off-white color, like ivory. So, again, we find this very interesting imagery in Sansa’s chapters: white/off-white fabrics stained with blood and fire.

And this passage of a bed stained with blood that must be hidden makes me think about Ned’s dream of Lyanna’s death:

He dreamt an old dream, of three knights in white cloaks, and a tower long fallen, and Lyanna in her bed of blood.

—A Game of Thrones - Eddard X

So I think there is another pattern here: betrothal, marriage and giving birth.

As I said before, the ivory silk dress was a “betrothal gift” from Cersei; and, as Sansa stated, the bedclothes stained with her moonblood was a proof of her having reached her womanhood and thus able to do her duty and marry Joffrey and bear his children.

Moreover, after Sansa’s first moonblood, she had this conversation with Cersei:

“I don’t blame you. Between Tyrion and Lord Stannis, everything I eat tastes of ash. And now you’re setting fires as well. What did you hope to accomplish?”

Sansa lowered her head. “The blood frightened me.”

“The blood is the seal of your womanhood. Lady Catelyn might have prepared you. You’ve had your first flowering, no more.”

Sansa had never felt less flowery. “My lady mother told me, but I … I thought it would be different.”

“Different how?”

“I don’t know. Less … less messy, and more magical.”

Queen Cersei laughed. “Wait until you birth a child, Sansa. A woman’s life is nine parts mess to one part magic, you’ll learn that soon enough … and the parts that look like magic often turn out to be messiest of all.” She took a sip of milk. “So now you are a woman. Do you have the least idea of what that means?”

“It means that I am now fit to be wedded and bedded,” said Sansa, “and to bear children for the king.”

—A Clash of Kings - Sansa IV

An ivory silk dress, a “betrothal gift” from Cersei, that Sansa later had to “dye it black”, so the “blood and fire stain” couldn’t be seen at all, sounds pretty much like Lyanna Stark’s betrothal to Robert Baratheon being “stained” by Rhaegar Targaryen. And then, of course, of Jon Snow hidden in the Wall as a Black Brother/Black Knight of the Night’s Watch.

Again, Sansa’s bedclothes stained with her flowering blood and then with fire to hide the stain, sounds pretty much like Lyanna Stark’s bed of blood after she gave birth Jon Snow, the baby that had to be hidden so his Targaryen identity couldn’t be seem at all.

A white wool cloak stained by blood and fire

When she crawled out of bed, long moments later, she was alone. She found his cloak on the floor, twisted up tight, the white wool stained by blood and fire. The sky outside was darker by then, with only a few pale green ghosts dancing against the stars. A chill wind was blowing, banging the shutters. Sansa was cold. She shook out the torn cloak and huddled beneath it on the floor, shivering.

—A Clash of Kings - Sansa VII

Out of the three passages with this imagery of white/off-white fabrics stained with blood and fire, this one, the one you asked for, has the more evident references of Jon Snow’s true parentage as the son of Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark.

Here we have Sansa huddled beneath a white kingsguard cloak stained by blood of the death during the Battle of the Blackwater and wildfire.

I think most of the readers get distracted from the Jon Snow’s true parentage hints here, because they romanticize this scene and believe it foreshadows some romantic future events for her involving the Hound, based in the fact that Sansa had covered herself with “the Hounds cloak” twice. But the relationship between Sansa and the white cloaks is -by far- larger than that; it has more to do with the ideals of knighthood and chivalry, than with the men wearing them.

As you can see, GRRM has plagued Sansa’s chapters with hints of Lyanna’s son, Jon Snow, true parentage.

Dead before their time:

Lyanna:

“She [Lyanna] was,” Eddard Stark agreed, “beautiful, and willful, and dead before her time.”

—AGOT - Arya II

Sansa:

And so many others were missing. Where had the rest of them gone? Sansa wondered. Vainly, she searched for friendly faces. Not one of them would meet her eyes. It was as if she had become a ghost, dead before her time.

—AGOT - Sansa V

Lyanna and Lady (part of Sansa’s soul) both died in the south, before their time.

Lyanna’s ghost has haunted Cersei over the years, Cersei wanted to marry Rhaegar but ended married with Robert. Both Rhaegar and Robert loved Lyanna.

Lady is mentioned in the Books as a “shade”, a synonym for ghost. And after Ned’s death, Sansa became a ghost at the Red Keep’s court.

Sansa and Lady also haunt Cersei, as she remembered them both during her walk of atonement:

The queen began to see familiar faces. (...) She saw Ned Stark, and beside him little Sansa with her auburn hair and a shaggy grey dog that might have been her wolf.

—ADWD - Cersei II

At the end, only the remains of Lyanna and Lady returned home, to the North, to Winterfell.

Ladies of Winterfell:

Lyanna’s and Lady’s bones are buried at Winterfell, what makes them literally Ladies of Winterfell:

“She was more beautiful than that,” the king said after a silence. His eyes lingered on Lyanna’s face, as if he could will her back to life. Finally he rose, made awkward by his weight. “Ah, damn it, Ned, did you have to bury her in a place like this?” His voice was hoarse with remembered grief. “She deserved more than darkness …” “She was a Stark of Winterfell,” Ned said quietly. “This is her place.”

—AGOT - Eddard I

Shortly, Jory brought him Ice. When it was over, he said, “Choose four men and have them take the body north. Bury her at Winterfell.” “All that way?” Jory said, astonished. “All that way,” Ned affirmed. “The Lannister woman shall never have this skin.”

—AGOT - Eddard III

Bran felt all cold inside. “She lost her wolf,” he said, weakly, remembering the day when four of his father’s guardsmen had returned from the south with Lady’s bones. Summer and Grey Wind and Shaggydog had begun to howl before they crossed the drawbridge, in voices drawn and desolate. Beneath the shadow of the First Keep was an ancient lichyard, its headstones spotted with pale lichen, where the old Kings of Winter had laid their faithful servants. It was there they buried Lady, while her brothers stalked between the graves like restless shadows. She had gone south, and only her bones had returned.

—AGOT - Bran VI

Lady’s death and his return to the North to rest in Winterfell is linked with Lyanna’s death and her own path back home. I wrote about this before:

Now, back to Lady’s death. We know that this event is a turning point in Sansa’s arc, but other than that, the paragraphs leading to the direwolf’s execution are laden with symbolism and foreshadowing, not only for Sansa, but for Ned as well.

During the “trial”, Ned decides that he will take Lady’s life himself, in order to avoid having a butcher like Ilyn Payne do the execution. Then, before he struck, he pronounced her name in the same fashion Robb and Jon called the name of their direwolves before they both died. This for me foreshadows Ned’s own death. Also, before Lady’s death, Ned pleads King Robert to change his decision on putting down the direwolf, appealing to the memory of Lyanna, the woman Robert loved. Similarly, before Ned’s execution at the steps of the Sept of Baelor, Sansa pleads King Joffrey to spare her father’s life, appealing to the love he has for her. As we know, both pleas fell on deaf ears and both Lady and Ned lost their lives; bringing the story full circle, as Ilyn Payne himself cut off Ned’s head.

Another interesting thing is that before Lady’s death we have direct and indirect references to Lyanna Stark. We have the direct reference when Ned appealed to the love Robert Baratheon bore Lyanna, in order to save Lady’s life, and the indirect one when he ordered Jory to choose four men to return Lady’s body to the north, to bury her in Winterfell. This order Ned gave to his men alludes to his own decision to take Lyanna’s body to Winterfell to be buried in the crypts, after her demise, brought on by her doomed love affair with Rhaegar Targaryen.

And to finish this post, here some gifsets that illustrate some of the discussed parallels:

Sansa Stark and Lyanna Stark + parallels

Pleading

She-wolves of Winterfell

Beautiful, Captivating Child-Women

Hidden Metal ft. hair parallels

Broken ‘Baratheon’ Engagements ft. more hair parallels

Fair Maidens

BONUS

Lyanna and Sansa in the first Show pilot:

In The Original, Terrible ‘Game Of Thrones’ Pilot That Never Aired, there was a scene where Cersei burned the feather that Robert left at Lyanna’s statue in the Winterfell Crypts:

The Cersei scene that might ruffle some feathers

Let’s begin with a defining scene between King Robert Baratheon and Ned Stark in the Winterfell crypts.

The scene that aired on HBO is slightly different from the scene in the Cushing script, but the gist is the same. Robert asks Ned to be his new Hand of the King, a position left open after Jon Arryn’s death. That’s when Robert places something small but highly symbolic on a statue of his onetime betrothed, Lyanna Stark: a feather.

And that pretty much sums up the sequence you saw in Season 1

But in the script found in the Cushing library, Queen Cersei plays a pivotal role in this exchange’s aftermath ― so much so that her involvement would have changed a Season 5 episode, the recent Season 8 teaser and possibly more.

The following scene is written into the pilot script found at Cushing and involves Cersei visiting the crypts right before the feast at Winterfell:

Cersei exits the crypts, crosses the courtyard and walks into the antechamber between the kitchen and the Winterfell great hall. The celebration for the king’s arrival is underway, and servants are rushing past her with food. The queen’s handmaidens make adjustments to her outfit and remove her heavy fur.

Then Cersei reveals something she has inside her sleeve:

“A word with the Stark girl”. I have no doubt this meant Sansa.

We didn’t get to watch this scene, Cersei never came down to the Winterfell Crypts, and she never took the feather Robert left there for Lyanna. But a few seasons later, we got to watch a scene of Sansa at the Winterfell Crypts, next to her aunt Lyanna’s statue, where she found the same feather that King Robert left there years ago...

...And Petyr Baelish told her the story of Lyanna and Rhaegar at the Tourney of Harrenhal.... I wrote more about it here.

I hope this is enough.

Thanks for your message and good night.

#Sansa Stark #Lyanna Stark #parallels #anon ask #Sansa & Lyanna parallels #Lyanna & Sansa parallels

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swansstuff · 4 years ago

Text

So uh, I've been thinking about a hypothetical Trucy Wright: Act Attorney and here is the very poorly written outline for it because yeah. No spoilers except the Apollo Trucy thing. Tw death, murder, blood and grieving so yeah.

Trucy's first case is literally her first ever case. This is a flashback case. We follow her as she wakes up, slightly stressed about today, Phoenix gives her cereal and a pep talk and a cryptic message. Trucy asks where Papa is, it is Miles, they are married. Phoenix is cryptic about that too. He stays behind as he "has to buy groceries" so Trucy heads into the office. Apollo greets her, it's clear they know they're siblings, and he hands her a case. Miles is prosecuting. She is fucking terrified. She goes to the crime scene, Gumshoe is the detective and he's educating his teenage sons, constant confusion of who's who, because they are twins and they look very like Gumshoe, it'll be kinda funny. Its a simple investigation. During the investigation, the player can check Trucy's profile and the profile system shows character's middle names now. We get some gems such as Klavier Hyacintha Gavin later on, the reasoning behind this is coz Trucy is nosy. The important one here is Trucy Mia Wright. She says something about how she chose her own middle name when Phoenix adopted her and she chose Mia after learning about her. Yada yada. Trucy wins the case. Edgeworth is very proud, Phoenix is in the gallery and there's a flash of him crying proud tears, Apollo hugs her afterwards, Athena congrats her.

Next case, flash forward three years later, we do not see Phoenix and nobody really mentions him. Thats because he's fucking dead but we don't know that yet. This case is a Fey case, we meet Maya who is married to Franziska and they're technically on honeymoon in Kurain and Pearl becomes the Maya to Trucy's Phoenix. Its another fey murder case. There are a few mentions of Trucy's admiration of Mia, mainly just a mirror of a few lines she's said and a conversation where her and Maya talk about her, Trucy says she would have loved to meet her and Maya explains how her spirit has been dormant for ages now and how she assumes she's moved on.

"If you want I can try and channel-"

"No no no no NO. Its ok!"

This is our first hint that Phoenix is no longer with us, but we don't know until later thats what she means. Sebastian is the prosecutor, the player finds out that Miles is taking a break from prosecuting work, Trucy already knew of course, and Sebastian is dubbed Chief until he comes back, Fran says

"It would've been me were I not on my literal honeymoon right now." We are not told why yet, but it is because of Phoenix. Kay Faraday is the detective, somebody murders someone and frames Maya, no-one is shocked by this. We also get an update on Iris, she's thriving. She wins yada yada.

Next case, a couple of months later, Trucy gets a call from a friend that the player can't identify at first. Its Katrielle Layton. She needs Trucy's legal knowledge because someone is sueing her detective agency because have you seen how they practice. This, of course, turns to murder and we get another surprise when we meet the prosecutor. Who probably has a licence to practise law in England? Simon Blackquill, he is British ok. Yeah, Trucy wins with Kat's help, we meet Ernest and Sherl and Alfendi and Flora if we have time. I miss them. Trucy and Kat have a conversation that cryptically addresses their fathers and their "whereabouts" and living up to their legacy. We see Trucy cry, but only a similar flash to AJ:AA and we do not know why. Yet.

Next case, flashback case. Trucy is the assistant on this case but we still play as her, even in the court sections since Phoenix is prepping her for the bar and getting her to give him the answers. The bar exam is only in three days. Klavier is prosecuting. The case somehow relates to Kristoph and there's the whole mirror dynamic thing of when Phoenix lost his badge. Kristoph is dead by now, but the whole thing is there was a plot inside prison to make Phoenix pay for putting a bunch of them in, Kristoph was the assumed ring leader until he died and the cops now dont know who's running it. Somebody (Godot? That would hurt big time) was their inside man, sent to figure that out, so when whoever it was turned up dead, the whole thing got exposed. We get a bit of a Mia moment in the trial where Trucy tells Phoenix to flip over the receipt (thats evidence for some reason). Phoenix says "I feel like that shouldn't be the second time someone has said that to me". The killer is found, by Phoenix, and put into isolation, as have most of the other participants. We then see Trucy get her badge. They have a conversation and Trucy says Phoenix basically forgot about it for a couple of months. The case closes with a foreboding "and I forgot about it too, until..."

Next case. Phoenix is fucking murdered. Trucy gets a phone call late at night, she hears laboured breathing on the other end and a "don't forget I love you" from Phoenix. Trucy pulls a simba and goes "dad? Dad?!!" And the line goes dead. The player is presented with a choice of who to call. They have two phone calls. Who they choose first makes no difference, but the second time they are forced to choose Ema who will trace Phoenix's phone call. They could call Apollo and he would comfort her, Miles would panic, Maya would say he was just messing around, Athena would sense her distress and say she's coming over etc. You could attempt to call Phoenix back but he would not answer and you would be allowed to call someone else. Ema then traces the phone call and we follow Trucy to the crime scene. We get a truly haunting cutscene where everything kinda goes blurry except Phoenix's face and the blood. Trucy doesn't cry. She stands there in shock. The WAA is there in various states of shock and upset. Return of grieving Apollo I guess. Miles turns up and the look on his face is haunting. Trucy and him make eye contact and they share the thought of something has to be done. And then. "The bar association took me off the case and Papa too, they said we were too close to it. As a result, we never found out who did it... Until now." And we see a determined Trucy face. We jump forward to where we last saw Trucy, she and Pearl are coming back from England and its a bit more cheery. Trucy sends Pearl on a train back to Kurain and heads on home. She enters the house and we see Miles pouring over Phoenix's case. He jumps up and runs towards her.

"Trucy! I think I have a lead, I-"

"Papa, you're tired, go to bed." (Or better dialogue along those lines)

Its clear he's been doing this sort of thing a lot.

"But I do! At least...I think I do..."

He trails off and rests his head in his hands.

"Do I? Or am I just a mess?"

Trucy gives him a sad smile.

"C'mon let's go to bed."

Miles returns the sad smile and fades out like all ace attorney characters do. The player is given the option to look around. There's probably some emotional dialogue and bits that give clues to how she and Miles have been fairing the past 3 years. Answer is, not very well. Examine the pile of papers on the table. Trucy will take a look and then realise her papa may have actually been onto something. Its a diagram of which prisoners knew each other, with an arrow from each leading to a defense attorney we have never met. Trucy is confused, but she calls for Miles anyway. He comes back downstairs and Trucy asks him about this lead he found.

"Well I realised all those prisoners would know this defense attorney (insert name?)"

"Why? And why would they be suspicious?'

"They (pronouns?) Were always the defense attorney who would take on the cases of those Wright had already accused. They gained a reputation of being the doomed defense attorney."

"So... They knew all the prisoners in the plot and they had a grudge against daddy... Papa I think you're onto something!"

And the case continues, since we already know who's been accused, it plays out more like an investigations game, Trucy has to prove it, with Miles' help of course, literally every other character we know and love plays a part in making sure this guy gets a guilty verdict. There is still a courtroom bit and a moment when all is looking dark, Trucy literally has a full on breakdown as the Judge threatens to remove her from the case again. Miles is by her side, they're both technically prosecution here i guess. Miles, however, is too deep in his own mental breakdown to help. Everyone else is in the gallery besides Pearl. Pearl channels Phoenix as a last hope sort of thing. Phoenix comforts her and tells her to keep fighting, he touches her badge and probably says some sort of bullshit about it. The Judge is about to bang the gavel when Trucy and Phoenix object at the same time. Miles looks up and realises whats going on and he objects too, a little later. The battle goes on until it finishes and the other attorney has a breakdown that steals little bits from every other murderer Phoenix has put behind bars.This is the one time seeing the word guilty on your screen feels good. There's a whole heartwarming celebration at the end, Phoenix sticks around for a little bit and everyone gets a bit of closure. Its assumed he's gone since Pearl passes out and Trucy dips out for a sec. She's away from the festivities, staring at the badge in her hand and we see someone coming up behind her. Maya is channelling Phoenix now. He gives Trucy a hug and utters the words "the only time a lawyer can cry is when its all over and, Trucy darling, my light, its over." Echoing both Diego and Mia.

And the screen fades to black with a final hug between father and daughter.

#ace attorney #my writing #trucy wright #miles edgeworth #phoenix wright #maya fey #franziska von karma #pearl fey #professor layton sorta #etc i cba to tag everyone #tw death #tw grieving #tw blood #tw murder #:)#wrightworth #franmaya

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preservationandruin · 4 years ago

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Rhythm of War Liveblog, Part One Part Four (Chapters 12-15)

Onward! I feel like these posts are pretty long and don’t cover a lot, but then i remember that a lot of Part One every time is setting up what’s happening, and this one in particular we have an entire year’s worth of stuff to fill in, so I guess it’s warranted.

Kaladin hangs out with friends against his will, I remember that Adolin is a Horse Girl, Mraize talks about the interplanetary economy, Teleporting Fucker is a Legendarily Sore Loser, I have high hopes for spren necromancy, and Kaladin asks Zahel for advice.

We’re back to Kaladin, who is...not having a good time. He feels like he has to appear strong for Syl and the others, and not to let his problems affect them; he’s also hit hard by the feeling that Bridge Four is something that was in the past, not something that’s consistent and now.

“Hey,” Leyten said as they reached the tower entrance. “Rock! Got any stew for us maybe? For old times’ sake?” Kalaidn turned. The word “stew” pierced the cloud.

Rock can’t, he’s busy, and Kaladin goes to his rooms--which are sparse and empty, even though he has pretty good accommodations--and tries to self-isolate, which...mood. He starts going into what seems like a panic attack (paralyzed, curling into the fetal position, thoughts spiralling to what Moash was talking about) when the door is near-literally kicked down by Adolin and Syl.

(will i use this every time Adolin does things? probably)

Adolin manages to drag Kaladin out of his room, in what is--honestly--a pretty good way to do it for someone who is depressed--he makes the point that Kaladin doesn’t have to be happy, he doesn’t have to pretend to be happy, but he should be miserable around other people. And he does it in just...a very Adolin way:

“You spend too many evenings alone, bridgeboy,” Adolin said, glancing at the nearby exhaustionspren, then grabbing Kaladin by the arm--something few other people would have dared. “I like being by myself,” Kaladin said. “Great. Sounds awful. Today, you’re coming with me. No more excuses. I let you blow me away last week and the week before.”

I love that “blow me away” is Roshar-slang for “blow me off”

Kaladin tries to lash out and say maybe he just doesn’t like being around Adolin, Adolin dares him to say, with an oath, that he should be alone right now--and Kaladin can’t, because--of course--Kaladin shouldn’t be alone right now.

“Ha,” Adolin said, tugging him along by the arm. “Come on, Brightlord Master Highmarshal Stormface. Change your coat to one that doesn’t smell like smoke, then come with me. You don’t have to smile. You don’t have to talk. But if you’re going to be miserable, you might as well do it with friends.”

This is so good. I think on some level when you self-isolate, what people want (or at least, what I want) is to have someone willing and able to drag you out of it despite the fact that you don’t want to be around people--and I’m so glad that Adolin is that person.

Kaladin demands to know why Syl got Adolin of all people, despite that scene literally showing why Adolin was the perfect person to bring, and Syl responds that she needed someone Kaladin couldn’t intimidate...and, in the end, Kaladin ends up thanking her.

And then we go to Adolin’s favorite bar, where Veil is waiting, where the gang just start hanging out--and Adolin and Veil start talking about trying to set Kaladin up with someone. This is about the moment where I crowed in victory, because while I didn’t see this specifically coming up, Adolin and Veil being drinking buddies who are a) overly-invested in Kaladin’s love life and b) end up talking about attractive people together IS something I called at the end of Oathbringer. Bi Disaster Drinking Club lives.

(Casper, Adolin isn’t confirmed bi-- Listen. listen. give me this.)

“Oh, don’t be sour,” Veil said, smacking [Kaladin] on the shoulder. “You didn’t even glance at her. She’s cute. Look at those legs. Back me up, Adolin.”

I love all the Veil and Adolin banter we get here, because it only gets better--Veil asking for details of one of Adolin’s past relationships, Adolin trying to get out of it, Kaladin getting to enjoy time with his friends even when (maybe especially when) those friends are ridiculous. And then we also get another good moment of Adolin and Kaladin friendship when Veil goes off to gamble--Adolin asks Kaladin for advice for how to help Shallan with her own issues, but the advice Kaladin gives is also good advice for dealing with Kaladin, which Adolin knows and did on purpose. Kaladin asks why Adolin hasn’t become a Radiant yet, to which Adolin says that he’s not a good fit, he guesses--but the real reason, of course, is that Adolin refuses to give up Mayalaran.

Listen--by not giving up Mayalaran, Adolin is proving himself the Edgedancer she deserves and I will die on this hill.

And then things go back to being sad, because Rock is leaving--going back to his people to recieve judgement for breaking their rules by killing Amaram. He says he probably won’t be returning and hugs Kaladin, who gives him a few other members of Bridge Four as an escort--some of his kids, including Cord--the Shardbearer--stay in Urithiru.

I deeply suspect this will not be the last we see of Rock, because there’s no way in hell, but it was both touching and really sad at the same time.

We move back to Shallan the next morning, going through her day while Adolin is out horseriding; I can’t believe I nearly forgot Adolin is a Horse Girl, despite literally everything about Adolin being prime horse girl. Shallan gets a message about a spren coming to negotiate--probably one of Sja-anat’s spren--and she visits her brothers as well, sketching by their fire.

We get that she’s researched DID--or, the Rosharan understanding of DID--and the results haven’t been heartening, with people who have DID mostly being objectified and ridiculed. It also notes that memory loss is a common symptom, which Shallan notes she doesn’t really experience.

Mraize shows up at her brothers’ house, both as a threat--his cover is an older soldier who is known to be clumsy and could, in theory, injure someone around him--and to talk to Shallan. We get more of the goals of the Ghostbloods--they’re trying to set up an Investiture trade across the Cosmere. Which is actually super smart--investiture is pretty easy to come by on Roshar, which is the entire reason Vasher/Zahel is there. I can see Nalthis in particular loving a way to sustain their gods that, uh, doesn’t involve sucking out souls.

Mraize also basically confirms his mole is a lightweaver, which...I’m really hoping this isn’t the case, but I’m starting to suspect the mole is perhaps Formless, or a similar Alter of Shallan’s. She’s had some weird logic gaps that she doesn’t understand, and we just got the mention of alters maybe not able to remember what each other are doing.

Now, I really hope that’s not the case, because that’s a tired old trope with DID--the evil alter ego. It’s really tired and awful for people who have DID, so I hope that’s not the twist here.

Anyway, Mraize gives her her next job, which is going to find Restares--who is in the honorspren citadel of Lasting Integrity. Mraize says when she meets Restares, she’ll know what to do, and that once she completes that, she’ll get all the answers she could want from the Ghostbloods.

We go back to Venli in Kholinar; a new group of Fused are here for bodies, and Leshwi is worried about one of them in particular--one of the fannahn-im, Those of Alteration. We meet the Nine, leaders of the Fused who are in pillars fused to the floor of their chamber, which Venli points out is just dooming the people whose bodies they took to a horrible form of entombment.

Venli can feel Odium watching, which I responded to with “come on motherfucker, 1v1 me.” Listen, I would die, but what a way to go.

The Teleporting Fucker--Lezian the Pursuer--is one of the Nex-im, Those of Husks, who are the Ninth Brand. He doesn’t defer to the Nine and claims Kaladin has to be Fourth Ideal because he “couldn’t be defeated by an ordinary human.” Which is hilarious, because he was. You were defeated by an ordinary human whose powers were blocked. Kaladin is just that good.

Anyway, he claims he now has to go kill Kaladin because his whole deal is that he murders any human who kills him:

“Milennia ago, Lezian was the first Fused to be killed by a human. To avoid the shame of such a death, upon returning to life, Lezian ignored all orders and rational arguments--and went into battle seeking only the man who had killed him.”

So he’s a loose cannon who everyone goes along with because they can’t stop him and because he developed a legend around his stupid decisions? Got it. I’m really amused that this guy’s entire thing is just being Roshar’s Sorest Loser. Anyway, Leshwi disputes his claim and says that she has first dibs on killing Kaladin--Venli notes that Leshwi probably doesn’t even know that she’s trying to protect Kaladin.

Guys, I can’t believe Fused war tactics operate on the dibs system. Also, this feels just like a continuation of my joke that everyone in this series has a type and that type is Kaladin.

Anyway, then we meet the new lady who Leshwi is worried about--Raboniel, the Lady of Wishes. She was one of the Nine but stepped down to become more active; Leshwi talks about how she is a scientist without morals, whose plan the last Desolation was to release a plague that would affect Singers as well as humans and actually did, but fortunately didn’t have as great an effect as she hoped. So now biological warfare is coming onto the table.

Raboniel pushes to seize Urithiru to strike against the humans; she created the anti-powers Fabrial and now wants to reverse the “Sibling’s heart” to nullify radiants in Urithiru, although she notes that Fourth Ideal ones could pull through--and she wants to experiment on the Sibling, who is effectively a deadeye.

This is interesting, because we’ve already seen a deadeye start to respond to people--Mayalaran. Is spren necromancy going to get a day in the sun in this book? Please, please let spren necromancy through the power of friendship be a plot point.

Anyway, Leshwi offers Venli to Raboniel as an aide, while wanting Venli to spy for her on Raboniel’s plans; Venli is happy about being on this strike, because she wants to see if she can find someone who can teach her how to be a Radiant.

We also get this good note from Leshwi, which--to me--calls back the fact that there’s a whole narrative about if war can be honorable happening here:

“Extinction is the natural escalation of this war,” Leshwi whispered. “If you forget why you are fighting, then victory itself becomes the goal. The longer we fight, the more detached we become. Both from our own minds, and from our original Passions.” She hummed softly to abashment.

We get back to Kaladin, who pushed through the worst of his depressive episode (although I would note that this could support the idea that something Odium-y is making it worse; now he’s in the Tower, it’s Regular Depression which he’s better at dealing with). Sigzil has now been put in charge of administration for the Windrunners; Kaladin tried to make it Teft but Teft was like absolutely not, fuck you for suggesting it.

Kaladin goes to find Zahel, wanting to talk to him, and finds him doing laundry; on the way he talks to Rlain, who is overseeing people growing plants by gemlight and music, which is how the listeners used to do it. Rlain gets excited at the mention of an honorspren who will work with him, but when Kaladin explains the situation, he demurs--understandably.

“I will wait for a spren who will bond me for who I am--and for the honor I represent.”

Rlain--in particular Rlain, who knows the experience of being forced into partnerships and jobs you don’t want--doesn’t want a spren who sees him as a burden or something that they don’t want to bond, and that’s completely valid of him.

Anyway, Kaladin finds Zahel hanging up bright scarves in the laundry; Kaladin asks Zahel if he should join the martial ardents as a solution to what he should do next, noting that Zahel “couldn’t give up the sword.”

“Oh, I gave it up. I let go. Best mistake I ever made.”

YEAH, AND NOW YOUR SWORD SON IS TERRORIZING ROSHAR, VASHER.

Well, not terrorizing. Mostly it’s just with Szeth, who is...somewhere around here, probably. Somewhere Zahel is avoiding at all costs bc Nightblood would take one look at him and just start yelling.

Zahel spars with Kaladin, fully exploiting the colored cloth around them and his own style of fighting while talking to Kaladin about why he fights. In the end, he says he can’t sponsor Kaladin--because Kaladin still loves fighting too much for him to really be an ardent. Kaladin also notes that Zahel fights like Azure--Zahel irritably corrects that she fights like him.

God I really want to see Azure and Zahel on the same page. Vasher you can’t run forever.

There’s also a meta discussion; Zahel talks about the different levels of invested beings, and how he’s had to update it from the time in Warbreaker he did the same thing. He notes that for people like him:

“We’re spren masquerading as men. That’s why she takes our memories. She knows we aren’t the actual people who died, but something else given a corpse to inhabit...”

So that’s both interesting and rather somber; “she” in this case is of course Endowment. I’m not entirely sure what to make of this bit, other than that it’s sad and interesting in that it draws a comparison with the Fused, who do a similar thing but instead of taking the shape/personality of the corpse they’re inhabiting, kill it and replace it.

Also, I’m not sure Zahel is right, here, because Lightsong did remember his past as the story went on, and did remember emotional connection to people from his past. So there might be more there than Zahel is giving it credit for.

#row spoilers #row liveblog #the stormlight archive #venli and the long con #ghostblood activity

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themousefromfantasyland · 4 years ago

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The Yule Man (6/7)

Told by ME

This was meant to be a short story, but it became too big, so I separated it in seven parts. I want to turn my blog in a space where I can share my writting every once and a while.

This is the first time I post one of my stories on a public space. This is the first time anyone besides my sister will be able to read, so I'm pretty exciting and anxious. I want honest criticism. I hope you all enjoy it.

Mia tried to spend the Yule Festival in Lichthafen City with Chris multiple times. The weather always found a way to close their path. Through it all, over the years, he always felt the presence of the North Wind with him. Bringing him to Arnsberg, dragging him away, watching over him.

The desperation grew in him and he decided to risk it all. This time he had an idea, and while he didn't know if it would work, he had to try.

He marched with his sack through a deserted street. He knelt down on the cobblestone, praying he would hear him. He did.

The North Wind engulfed him in a state of mind and spirit where neither time nor distance mattered. He heard a cacophony of thousands of sly voices closer to his ear.

"Why do you call me, son?"

On his knees, he looked up.

"How long I been doing this? Bringing snow to this place, to these people."

The voice blew against him.

"Since eternity began"

"How long I will continue to go through the mortal world as a mere seasonal specter?" He said with anger.

"For as long as eternity prevail."

"Do I have a name?" He feared the answer.

"You can't have a name. You don't have a soul. You don't live."

He drew his bag.

"Please, release me of this cursed state. I won't bring snow to this place ever again. I will never stop trying to run from you."

"Are you blackmailing me?"

"Yes." He shouted. "You can't punish me. If you try, I will never open this bag again."

The voiced flew with anger.

"What do you want?"

He lowered his tone. He looked down to earth.

"I want to exist; I want to be real. I want to be part of this world instead of being a mere apparition, a shadow."

"You should be thankful for not existing. Existence is pain. You’re free from this curse. You're free from old age, disease, suffering, pain, death and heartbreak."

"You forget that I'm also free from living, finality, purpose, pleasure, life and passion. There's more in existing than pain."

"There's entropy. Your days will be numbered. Death and the end of all things will always be a certainty. If you choose this path, there's little that I can do to bring you back. You accept that."

"I do."

"I tried to protect you from this existence. All the higher powers in this world know I tried. The mortals corrupted you. There's little I can do now. Enjoy existing. You live now. You die now. Enjoy the short time you have."

Chris felt different, as if his whole world changed before his sight. He felt everything he could felt on that moment. Pain. Cold. Despair. The certainty of Death. The threat of doom. The fear of the unknown. Love and passion. Joy of being alive. Purpose in life. Hope.

"Before you go, answer back foolish mortal: How long do you think this will last."

He closed his eyes and smiled.

"For as long it shall last."

He picked his bag and rushed to Mia's tailoring shop. He reached there by the evening. A huge man dressed in gentleman clothes sat inside.

"You still haven't paid us your debt."

Mia glared at him with fear.

"Friedrich, I promise I'll pay Mr. Müller everything, but I need time."

He stepped closer to her.

"All I have to say is that he's getting tired. If I were you, I would be very careful now. Happy Yuletide."

He stormed out and bumped against Chris. The boy carefully entered.

"Who was he?"

Mia straightened her hair.

"No one you should worry about." She continued. "Where were you been? We always met by morning."

"There was something I needed to do first."

He seemed different. Mia could tell it. He dropped the fur clothes and raced to the bathroom, where once again he shaved. He stared at the bathroom windows and smiled to the town. Things were changing.

Mia and Chris talked about everything. No secrets could stand between them. Well, no secrets alas for this one. Poverty finally stroked her. This year had been hard. In desperate times, people drown in desperate justifications for poor decisions. Mia didn't want to worry Chris about any of that. She could handle her problems.

During the conversation, Chris placed his old bag over the coffee table. Mia recognized immediately that thing. She touched on it and withdrew. Too cold for her. Even mortal, only Chris still could do the job.

"This year will be the last time I carry this."

Mia became surprised.

"Why? What happened?"

He looked like her siblings during the Solstice Morning.

"He allowed it. He finally allowed it.

"Who?"

"The North Wind."

"What."

He grinned from ear to ear.

"Mia, I'm mortal now. I exist. I'm real now. I'm real!"

She jumped from the couch. Mia couldn't believe it. He got up and he pulled her hands.

"When the Yuletide is over, I am not going anywhere this time. I will stay with you..." He paused and looked at her with his most tender eyes. "If you still want to stay with me."

Mia couldn't resist him. She and Chris hugged each other. They jumped, cried, and laughed together. A wave of emotions possessed each one.

"I need to do something first."

He pulled the bag and raced to the terrace. Not understanding what happened, she ran after him. He carefully placed his hand and hers on the tying knot. It didn't freeze her hands this time.

Chris suddenly got on his knees.

"What are you doing?"

"I don't have any money to afford a ring. But I want to marry you. I don't want to leave your side as long as I may live. I want to be forever a part of your life. If you allowed me in it." He started crying.

She shouted yes and hugged him close.

"One, two, three!"

They pulled the knot and release the snow. The cold breeze and the billions of bright snowflakes seamed to dance all around them. The danced up to far away, to every house and to every person in town, to all who needed them. All in Arnsberg felt their happiness that night.

They made love with deep passion. Magic flowed between them. They knew each other's bodies down to the minimal detail.

They had troubles getting any sleep that night.

"Do you think we could spend the Summer in that Lichthafen City? You know, really this time."

"For you to play in the sand and fill our room with it" She snuggled in his arms.

"Don't forget the tiny seashells" He laughed and stared at her in silence.

"Why are looking at me?" She gently poked his nose.

"I am appreciating the idea of growing old with you!"

Sophia and her brothers showed to the shop next day, all beautiful youths by now. Chris loved them, but they always brought with them the truth: Time had passed.

They invited them to pass the Yule Festival in the mansion with them. No balls or parties, only spending time together on that big house. Mrs. Hayek had at long time carved a tomb for herself on that residence. She had assumed the role of the reclusive widow with deep care. Their kids still hoped they still could bring life for that semi-dead body. Rekindling the Yule spirit was one of these measures.

Mia couldn't bear her mother, still, she loved her siblings and wanted to spend time with them and Chris. Even more, she wanted to get away from the Cat’s-eye’s presence.

Fritz and Thomas threw the Yule Log in the fireplace. The first time in years. The Hayek Mansion seemed almost the same when he first arrived there. Yet, the changes were pretty self-evident. Less servants, less decorations. The Yule Tree was absent.

Entering the house, they saw Mrs. Hayek crawling out of her room like a reptile. The proud woman disappeared. An old bald hag dressed in long floral robes stood on her place.

She stared at Mia. Didn't pronounced a single word, then returned to her room. Mia felt a deep abyss between her and her mom. Time had been cruel with them.

They chattered, ate sweets. They told ghosts stories by the fireplace. Simple, still full of meaning to all present there. Chris felt something he thought it was impossible for him, nostalgia. The kids he played with had all grown up. Sophia was engaged. Fritz found a job out of town and he wanted to know if the rest could take care of their mother. Thomas acted as the new owner of the house.

Mia found him sitting in the stone bench of the garden gates. Snow covered everything in sight, even her fiancé.

"Are you good?"

"The snow never bothered me anyway, madam." He smirked, but with a drop of bitterness behind his playful face.

She sat next to him.

"I never stood too close to mortals. I knew you are always changing. I never thought how much. It scares me."

She didn't said a single word.

"You don't know what to say!"

She nodded in shame. He gave a half-smile to her.

Mia then saw Cat’s-eye’s men on the other side of the gate. She jumped from the bench in fear.

"What happened?" He said worried.

He turned to see what was in the direction she was looking, but he didn't saw anything.

"Nothing, I thought I saw a wild animal on the other side. It was just the trees." Lying never was Mia's strongest suit. "Let's get back inside." She pulled him by his arm.

Cat’s-eye’s men didn't knew her family had money. She avoided using the name Hayek in her tailoring shop. They didn't knew she grew up in a mansion. They knew now.

#christmas #holiday season #yuletide #my writting #writters on tumblr #my story #The Yule Man

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like-rain-or-confetti · 5 years ago

Text

Request: Cheesy Pick-Up Lines (Alec Volturi x Reader)

You knew nothing good would have come when the two men in grey arrived. They were both tall and attractive but had shocking red eyes. Both seemed rather intimidating too, even if the blonde was the poster for eye-candy. Edward and Alice looked very on edge which Bella couldn't help but feel the same. You on the other hand were intimidated too but also very suspicious.

The atmosphere had drastically changed since the smaller blonde girl arrived. Someone by the name of 'Aro' was waiting for you and the Cullen's. You quickly learned her name was Jane and she led you all down the corridor she came from. Not too long later another boy dressed in black with a striking resemblance to Jane met the group half way. "And this is the cause of all the trouble? Such a clever girl, send out for one and brought back two...and a half. I wasn't told about this one however." Jane hummed. "Yes, this one is a mystery Alec." Jane and the boy looked at you. They had to be twins for sure.

Everyone eyed you as you stared down Alec. "Sorry." You began. "There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you." Bella's eyes widened a fraction. No...not now. "Are you from Tennessee? You seem to be the only ten i see." Alec stared you down. "(Y/N), please stop." Bella whispered. "Shush, I'm being honest!" You swatted at your sisters nudges. "Listen, its definitely not legal to be that good looking. I'm swooping Bella, I'm swooping! I'm taking my chances! Now tell me pretty boy, do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to walk by you on more time?" Alec rolled his eyes with a smirk before taking Jane's hand and walking down the hall, leading the group. "Its not even good flirting." Alice mumbled into her hands. "Well duh! That’s a part of the technique! It'll work, just you guys wait and see!" You retorted. "One wrong word and he could kill you." Edward grumbled. "It seems like I'm going to die anyway because of you two so what is really stopping me!?" "My apologies, but I don't really look for humans." Alec responded smoothly with a smirk casting a glance to you. "I don't particularly like them due to my past." "Alright then, give me a pencil, I'll erase your past and write our future." The blonde man snorted. "Hey that one was good, give me some credit!" "Do you really believe such words would work on me?" Alec asked. You shrugged. "I'm not a photographer but I can picture you and I together." Alec simply chuckled with a shake of the head. "Okay, one more before I meet my doom?" "I don't see why not." Alec smirked. "So I guess you're busy today but could you add me to your to-do list?" "Okay! You've said enough!" Bella tugged you to her with a disapproving look. You actively tuned out the conversation in the throne room. You didn't want to hear the discussion about your death. Even when the creepy dark haired man took your hand mumbling along the lines of watching someone's life through a siblings eyes. A fight broke out and Alec was between you and Bella in seconds, a hand on each of you. You never realised the touch of an angel would be so...cold.

Just like that it was over. Once again being tugged by Bella. Just before the throne room doors behind you, you whispered knowing he would hear you loud and clear. "Alec, I'll dream of you." You felt a sudden punch in the arm by Bella and you were unable to hold back your loud yelp.

#volturi #the volturi #twilight #twilight new moon #alec volturi #reader #one shot #oneshot #request

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tiaragqueen · 5 years ago

Note

Can i request a yandere!tarzan! Jungkook? I've been thinking about it a lot lately but nobody seems to done it :""))

Champing At The Bit

✂ Pairing: Yandere! Tarzan! Jeon Jeongguk x Reader

✂ Word Count: 3,6k+

✂ Trigger Warning: Animal attack, blood, death, obsessiveness, possessiveness, sadism

✂ This story is fictional and for amusement only. I don’t believe any of the members would do this in real life. As always, thank you for reading and I hope you have a good day!

Donot re-upload my writing to another website or use it without mypermission.

[Edited]

***

Okay, so… I might have gone a bit overboard on this one. This is probably the longest one-shot I’ve ever written, but I don’t know. The edited version might be shorter, tho. Why, you look at that. It’s longer than the unedited one.

If you like mywriting, please support me on ko-fi!

“One way or another, I’m going to find ya. I’m gonna get ya. One way or another, I’m going to win ya.” – One Way Or Another [Blondie]

You didn’t know what to expect from this scene.

No, scratch that. You hadn’t expected this to happen at all.

You had always known that your baby brother was more sociable than you. It was a trait you had been long secretly envious of. There was something from him that easily attracted people to him, either from his smile or overall mannerisms. While you were approaching your early twenties, your social skills remained undeveloped. It didn’t help that you had a tendency to overanalyze things, too.

However, you would later learn that your introversion wasn’t a curse as you had initially thought. In fact, it could save you from the doom that would soon befall you.

“[Brother’s name], what… what are you doing? Who is he?” you asked, brows furrowed deeply and eyes widened in an overwhelming mixture of confusion, shock, relief, fear, and wariness.

“Ah, Noona!” your brother beamed once he spotted you and enthusiastically pointed to the stranger in question. “Look, I’ve got a new friend! His name is Jungkook, but he likes to be called ‘Kookie’.”

Your mouth slackened as you glanced at the pair back and forth, trying to make sense of their relationship. Well, it wasn’t like you misheard what your brother said just now. In fact, you heard it a little bit too clearly for your liking. But of course, what kind of a normal human being would immediately accept the fact that their sibling had befriended a fucking Tarzan in the middle of a forest?!

‘Kookie’ shrunk a little and bowed his head when you averted your attention to him, displaying his shyness towards strangers. At least, he wasn’t aggressive. That was a plus. You didn’t know what to do if there was a young man, wearing nothing but a dark ripped cloth to cover his lower part, were to attack your brother. You cleared your throat to distract yourself from the disturbing image.

“Well, that was nice and all but can we please go back to the camp? Mama has been waiting for you, you know?”

[Brother’s name] bit his bottom lip, and it didn’t take a genius to know that he hesitated to leave this ‘Kookie’. Was it possible to create such a close relationship with someone you just met? Was he really that interesting to your brother until he felt reluctant to go?

“Can we bring him too? He looks so lonely…”

You didn’t bat an eye on rejecting his ridiculous suggestion, “I don’t think that’s a good idea, [Brother’s name].”

There was no way in hell you would bring that guy to your parents. They might not panic much, but you didn’t want to deal with the consequences should something bad happened. He might get a panic attack – or worse, go on a rampage – if you forced him to meet other people.

“But can you at least introduce yourself first, Noona? Kookie might be shy, but he’s very curious about you.”

How the hell did he know that that guy was curious about you? Did he suddenly possess a sixth sense or something? And besides, that guy refused to look at you in the eye!

“Oh, um, I…” Fuck this shit. If you wanted to leave, then you better deal with this quickly. “Uh… Hi, Kookie. I’m [Name], [Brother’s name]’s older sister.”

Was that friendly enough? Could he even comprehend what you just said? Judging from the way [Brother’s name] grinned when he glanced at the said man, you assumed that he indeed understood. To some extent, probably.

“Kookie said you’re pretty, Noona.”

How did one accept a compliment from a Tarzan? You didn’t know, you never bothered to know, and you definitely didn’t expect to know how. And that was why your reaction was painfully awkward, even cringy if someone were to watch this whole interaction.

“Oh, thank you. He’s… he’s handsome too.”

That wasn’t a lie. He did look handsome. And cute too. With long eyelashes that framed his doe eyes, chubby cheeks, healthy pink and plump lips, down to the tiny mole that you almost missed. You had no doubt that he would gain a lot of admirers had he was more… normal. But what was normal for you, might not be normal to others. And with his fidgety mannerisms that just screamed bashfulness and awkwardness throughout, he might end up as one of those wallflowers or an antisocial that avoided people altogether.

No, actually, the latter seemed much more likely to happen. It was a miracle that your brother even managed to befriend him in a span of twenty minutes.

Another reason for you to be insecure about.

“Okay, introduction’s over. Let’s go back, shall we?”

[Brother’s name] nodded, satisfied with what he thought was a successful conversation. Linking his fingers with yours, he skipped down the trodden path that led to the campsite whilst smiling happily. With your back turned, you were able to sense Jungkook’s penetrating gaze as opposed to the occasional timid glances earlier.

A shiver slithered down your spine.

It had been days since your first encounter with Jungkook. And ever since that, your brother had been secretly meeting him under the pretense of ‘exploring the area’. Of course, you being you, refused to accept his excuse at face value, unlike your parents who had shown a positive reaction over his so-called adventure. They even made another comment on how you should ‘be more active like him’ instead of ‘spending your time doing useless things such as constantly playing your phone’, although they didn’t know what you truly did with it. Just because you often play your phone, didn’t mean you always searched meaningless things. Sometimes, you liked to explore stuff and looked up some facts.

Obviously, they didn’t understand that. Not that you wanted to. There was no reason why you should convince someone who was too stubborn to change their mind.

The latter was also why they decided to make this spontaneous camping in the first place, much to your dismay. You had initially planned to spend your whole summer working on that story you had been procrastinating for so long, but your parents thought that it was time for some ‘family moment’.

And because you cared about your brother, despite your envy, you’d decided to ‘join’ him. Your parents were excited and thought that you finally ‘opened up’ to the world. You had ignored their gushing and accompanied your sibling in meeting his new friend.

Jungkook, although shy, was very talkative once a close bond was established. You didn’t find this very surprising, to be honest, since you yourself weren’t much different than him in this aspect. But what astounded you was the fact that he seemed to take more interest in you, more than he did to your brother. [Brother’s name], being a naïve boy he was, felt happy with this development. Thus, he took it upon himself to act as the ‘accommodating guide’ by answering Jungkook’s silent questions that – frankly speaking – sounded more like hushed whispers and occasional hoots. You didn’t know that it was possible for someone to gain a skill in communicating with Tarzan within such a short time, but that was what set him apart from you anyway.

Slowly, but surely, Jungkook started to open up more and more with you. From light, albeit hesitant, touching to bashful smiles; he did everything he could do to ensure that your attention remained on him alone. He even tried to speak to you once, but your overt inability to comprehend his words prevented you from fully understanding what he said. It wasn’t as if you wanted to know, either.

Honestly, you didn’t know what to feel from this so-called development. On one hand, you were creeped out at the fact that Tarzan had taken an interest in you. But on the other hand, you were flattered that someone actually found you desirable for once. That someone would make an effort to get to know you, or by the very least, including you in their conversations and not neglecting you as most people did.

The last day of camping came at the blink of an eye. [Brother’s name] kept sobbing that he wouldn’t be able to visit Jungkook again, while you awkwardly patted his small back. Comforting people wasn’t your forte, but for the sake of people you loved, you were willing to do anything for them. Even if it meant handling their emotional outbursts.

“Come on, [Brother’s name]. We need to go home.” you murmured, yet he merely cried harder. Before you, Jungkook didn’t provide any assistance whatsoever except watching him for the past five minutes.

“B-but, I can’t see him again.” [Brother’s name] blubbered.

You wished to say that he would be able to meet Jungkook once he was a bit older, but you couldn’t exactly promise such a thing to him. Life sometimes got in the way of achieving what you wanted, and that was why you refused to go around spreading empty words unless the odds were favorable.

“Okay, well…” you glanced around, racking your brain to come up with a perfect solution that wouldn’t leave [Brother’s name] even sadder than he already was. “Why don’t you say goodbye to Kookie now? Who knows, you might feel a bit better.”

[Brother’s name] sniffled, but luckily, he obliged to your suggestion. Approaching the quiet Jungkook, he threw his small arms around his neck and sobbed into his bare shoulders.

“Kookie, I’m leaving now.” he croaked with a voice that broke your heart a little. You’d never expected to get teared up from witnessing such an emotional scene, even though Jungkook was nowhere near emotional. His face remained blank as he blinked repeatedly, as though unaware of a child weeping in his embrace.

Damn him. He could’ve at least made an effort to appear affected.

Sniffling once more, [Brother’s name] withdrew from the one-sided hug and smiled bitterly. “I’ll see you again, Kookie. Please don’t forget me.”

Jungkook stared at him for a moment before turned to you. His dark eyes were hollow yet piercing as if trying to gauge your reaction through your ‘friendly-sister-of-a-friend’ façade. Maybe he did, then that would explain why he kept watching you lately. If you could even call that ‘watching’ because it looked more like observing than mere watching. Still, it didn’t make the experience felt any less unnerving.

You simpered at him, nonetheless. Couldn’t show him your discomfort, could you? For all you knew, he could be planning something and a glimpse of your true feelings might be something he’d deeply anticipated. “Well, Jung– I mean, Kookie. I think it’s time for us to go. It’s been an interesting week, and I can’t say that I regretted meeting you.”

Just a little, though. You had always doubted that Tarzan existed, especially in such a modern world like this, but his existence proved otherwise.

Jungkook stepped forward and suddenly brought you into a deep hug. Stunned, you let him buried his head into your stomach. You could’ve sworn that you heard him purring too, yet that was the least of your worries. Jungkook had never been this bold before – he always retained some degree of shyness in expressing his affection – so perhaps he finally felt comfortable with you? Enough to embrace you without a warning like this?

“[Name]…” he mumbled against your shirt. Your eyes instinctively widened, while [Brother’s name] gasped in astonishment.

“He spoke!” [Brother’s name] squealed, clapping vigorously as if he had witnessed first-hand something extraordinary. That would be understandable considering that Jungkook never seemed to speak before. “He finally spoke!”

You didn’t know what to do in this situation. No, scratch that, you knew exactly what you wanted to do. You wanted to run – away from this forest and its nonsense – and never looked back. Being observed was enough to put you on the edge, and now he decided to call you by your name too? This should’ve turned on the warning bell in your head. And as much as you wished to shove him on to the ground, you still had the decency to gently push him away.

“Oh, did you hear that? Mama is calling us. Let’s go, [Brother’s name]!” On the spur of the moment, you came up with a not-so-believable lie and grabbed his hand.

[Brother’s name] sputtered in shock. “B-but, Noona, I didn’t–”

“Goodbye, Kookie!” you exclaimed with more vigor than necessary, or what would one expect from a farewell.

You dashed through the trees which homogeneity seemed to confuse you in each minute, determined to make it into the campsite before it was too late. Why did you feel this way when the forest looked safe? Honestly, you weren’t sure yourself. You just had this hunch that something was wrong the moment Jungkook averted his gaze to you.

Or maybe the darkness and desire in his eyes gave it away.

Either way, you couldn’t afford to rest even if [Brother’s name] had been panting since earlier. You wanted to prove to yourself that your hunch was incorrect; that it was merely a suspicion or a secret fear that Jungkook would try to harm you and your family. Maybe it was somewhat unfair to place the blame on him when he hadn’t done anything wrong than just being his shy, creepy self. But it wasn’t like you could trust someone you met a week ago. You weren’t that careless.

During your rushed journey, you’d prayed and prayed that your hunch didn’t come true. That it all just happened in your head. But nothing, absolutely nothing, could prepare you for the massacre that greeted you at your destination.

Bodies laid on top of each other, eyes glassy yet profound with the unfairness of being the innocent victims. Some of their limbs looked like they had been forcibly ripped out from their sockets, leaving bloody bones that protruded through the rugged flesh. Their clothes were torn, mouths opened in a silent scream that fell on deaf ears, and they were looking up the sky as though it could lend a lifeline to save them from their untimely dooms.

Bile climbed from the pit of your stomach as you covered [Brother’s name]’s eyes, afraid that he would be traumatized by the horrible sight. He was still young and pure; he didn’t need to see what his parents had become. Charred and torn beyond belief and recognition. Sure, you weren’t really fond of them due to their tendency to compare you with [Brother’s name], but they didn’t deserve to die. Nobody at this campsite did, honestly.

“Noona!”

You gasped when someone – or rather, something – snatched him from your grasp. A black chimpanzee stood in one of the branches and held him against its chest, shouting incoherent things to you. Despite your disinterest towards monkey and ape species, there was a hidden fear deep inside your heart that was reserved for the chimpanzees. Especially when they were cornering you right now, a helpless and panicked human. You didn’t know if chimpanzees could eat humans, but you did know about their cannibalistic habits.

And now, your beloved baby brother was held as a captive.

What kind of a shitty movie was this?!

“Do you still… want to leave, [Name]?” a breathy voice asked in a broken sentence, showing their slight inexperience of speaking human language.

Your expression went cold as you slowly turned around, wishing that the speaker was nothing like what you thought them to be. However, your hunch was proven correct once again.

“Jungkook,” you hissed, gritting your teeth in a refrained anger. As much as you wanted to lash out to him, you knew that the chimpanzees wouldn’t take too kindly of it. You just knew it. “What the fuck is this, huh? Explain this!”

“Calm… down.”

“Don’t tell me how to calm down, you piece of shit!”

As expected, the chimpanzees started to get hostile over your equally offensive approach. Some were already approaching you, ready to tear you to bits had Jungkook didn’t raise his hand. The clamor stopped as soon as it arose, but the aura they emanated was still murderous. Peering to Jungkook, you concluded that he must be a leader or some sort.

Would it be weird if you say that you weren’t surprised in the slightest?

“[Name], you have to… know that you can’t… leave this forest… as you please,” he explained without looking at you. Oh, so now he was acting haughty, huh? Where was the shy boy who couldn’t even see you without blushing?

“So what? People come here all the time, yet they’re free to go anytime they want. Why the fuck should I be any different, huh?” You pointed a finger in his direction and glowered, trying to display an aggressive body language despite your huge difference in power. Maybe those chimpanzees would back down somewhat?

Well, no. Because you could hear them growling in the background.

“Because… you’re special.”

You narrowed your eyes, clearly not amused with his half-assed excuse. If he thought that he could convince you with that, then he would be dead wrong. “The fuck–?”

As if on cue, the chimpanzee who held [Brother’s name] captive suddenly took a chunk out of his left shoulder. You froze in shock, watching the blood spurted from the wound like in slow motion. The sound of his agonized scream echoed in the forest, when not even a single cricket dare to chirp. All witnessed the chimpanzee brutally lacerated his flesh until the bone and tendons were visible to the naked eye.

“Stop! Stop!” you finally shouted after a moment of stupefaction, the aggressive facade shattered when tears started to trickle little by little. “Stop this, please! I… I’ll do anything! Just… just, please. Don’t hurt him. Please. I’ll do anything, I swear to God.”

Jungkook’s face lit up almost instantly. However, you were too busy worrying about [Brother’s name]’s state and dread over his looming death to notice it.

If only you saw his joyous face right now, or the smug smirk that closed your and [Brother’s name] fates…

But it wasn’t as though you could compromise his safety for the sake of your selfishness, right? No matter how much you envied him, no matter how much you wanted to be like him for just a little – a moment – he was, and would always be, your little brother. Your younger sibling.

Your beloved baby brother whose existence you’d been anticipating ever since your mother announced her pregnancy.

Your beloved baby brother who saw you for the first time with those sparkling doe eyes and pouty lips.

Your beloved baby brother who held your pinky finger and beamed that cute smile of his.

And most of all, your beloved baby who always made you smile and laugh when the world seemed to turn its back against you.

It was funny how easy it was to say ‘I love you’ to your exes, any time and any day when you had never said it to your own sibling.

What kind of a big sister was you?

“Really…? Then, I guess… you don’t mind if you become mine, right? I’ve been waiting… for this moment.” Jungkook inclined his head and smiled softly as if reminiscing something. “That kid… has been irritating me to no end.”

There was only regret and anger left in your constricting chest when Jungkook moved to hug you from behind. Regret for not being able to help your brother, and anger for being so fucking useless.

But what were you, compare to a horde of chimpanzees waiting for the right moment to strike?

What were you, compare to his authority and power?

And what were you, to resist your own fate?

You let those sturdy arms wrapped themselves around your chest like a straitjacket and sobbed. Resting his chin on your shoulder, Jungkook sighed contentedly.

“I’ve been waiting… to hold you like this… ever since… you appeared. It feels… nice.” He peered towards the damned chimpanzee as though he barely remembered that they were here in the first place, and their presence ruined his ‘peaceful’ moment. Never mind the fact that he was probably the one who had ordered them to ambush you.

“Everyone,” you stopped sobbing for a moment and waited with bated breath his next demand. What was he going to say? What was he going to do? Hopefully, he would release [Brother’s name] and allow him to live. After all, you had willingly give yourself to him. Surely Jungkook wasn’t that evil, right? There must be some humanity deep inside him, however small it might be.

… Right?

“Eat him.”

The chimpanzees immediately charged at [Brother’s name] from every direction without any hesitation whatsoever. You watched in horror their sharp teeth sunk into his skin and ripped it like a starved animal. He wailed and writhed in their hold, wishing anyone to help him.

To save him.

To rescue him.

“No, no, no!” At this point, you actively struggled against Jungkook’s much stronger grip as you kicked and screamed for them to stop. For him to stop. For everything to stop. “Why are you doing this?! Stop!”

“As I said earlier… you’re special. And I can’t… let that kid… get in the way of our happiness.” Jungkook buried his face into your sweaty neck and smiled, ignoring your resistance and cries of help. “Now, we can finally be together.”

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valkerymillenia · 4 years ago

Text

Umbrella Academy

season 2, episode 4

New episode, new post!

This was the other post I had written out that got accidently deleted so I'm writing it all again.

1993? And Lila was 4? TOO MUCH COINCIDENCE! I still stand by my theory that Lila is one of the 43.

Yes, she has a father but that could just be her mother's husband. It's just too coincidental that the show would make her exactly the same age as the Hargreeves for no reason.

Ah the red heels. Hi Handler. These heels are really pretty though, very wicked witch with the ruby slippers. Even that outfit kind of screams wicked witch meets Cruella de Vil 😏

Kill parents, adopt child. Interesting MO, Handler. Like an evil Bruce Wayne (does this make Handler Owlman? I know, I'm not funny).

Oh, Handler pulling a Reginald with Lila!

Except, you know, she actually gives Lila positive reinforcement and affection, unlike Reggie. But her training seems just as brutal and inhumane for a child (and possibly even more violent) as Reginald's...

It's curious and interesting, a nice foil. Handler succeeds where Reggie fails- creating a loyal and effective soldier will into adulthood- because she was willing to give the kid affection and compassion. Reggie saw himself as some sort of hero creating heros but he failed at the most basic and human thing that even the villain understood.

-The filmography in these training scenes is brilliant.

-Ah, that prom look is the same as half of my classmates when we graduated 🤣 down to the blue makeup.

I'm guessing Lila's "prom"/"graduation" was her first solo assassination?

Wait, Handler wants to protect Five...? What the hell is she up to now?

Talking about killing people like it's a fun hobby 🤨

Oh, so the Swedes are triplets? I suspected but I like the confirmation.

Oh, Handler is lying ~~~~ 🎶

She's definitely following her own agenda here and she's leading Lila into danger. The question is if she's going to undermine the Commission for revenge of if she wants to prove her ability to get promoted back into administrative ranks of the Commission.

Either way, this will not end well for Five.

Lila is going to end up having to choose between Diego and Handler, isn't she?

Five stays in the car to give Luther space... No matter what Five says he actually cares about his siblings' feelings, doesn't he? He's the most overprotective of them all and always has been. It's sweet.

Ah, Luther and Vanya bonding over Five being an asshole. ☺️

"very warm and cuddly father" 🤣

Of course Vanya figured out Five was sparing her feelings, because she's not dumb

Oh, thank you for the honesty, Luther! Gotta love that.

I'm actually really happy to see Luther owning up to his mistakes instead of trying to act like the flawless leader. I think he grew a lot after accepting that Reginald wasnt perfect and I'm glad to see that growth still happening as he learns how to be an independent person. I just hope his guilt doesn't turn into even more self-hatred.

"you had kind of a bad childhood" -understatement of the century, Luther!

Luther, you have pissed off the mobster, you moron. You're on big trouble now.

Dramatic wall punch! 🙄

"when you get angry shit blows up" 😂😂😂

"you're our sister and a member of the umbrella academy" - oh, now you want to include her? The irony of this is that it's the one thing Vanya wanted for the first 29 years of her life and if anyone had said it then, the apocalypse would probably have never happened.

🖕🙊🖕

"I wonder if it's too late to be un-adopted" -ah, you know you love them, Five

Honestly, Allison actually keeps her cool really well, if I went through that phone call I would have broken something.

Why the hell does Klaus want menudo first thing in the morning?? Ew...

Klaus butchering "the frog and the scorpion"... You were doing so well but ended up completely missing the point of that story, dummy.

Diego's stab wound is healing really quickly...

Wait, he's healing quickly and Allison doesn't have a neck scar... Plus Klaus is immortal... Hmm, I wonder if quick healing is an ability they all share? Though that would put Diego's scars (and maybe Ben's death) into perspective...

Does Diego wax his chest? Those pecs are real smooth for someone who spent over two months in a 60s mental institution. 😆

"we've all had the urge" 😂 and Diego's sarcastic laugh 🤣

Who's the 12th of the Magestic 12? Oh, I WONDER WHO THAT COULD BE??? Maybe a certain monocled asshole?

"Mamie pink" is Klaus's new nickname, I don't make the rules.

Klaus, you are freaking the boy out with all this new information...

Oh no, the homophobia 😡😡😡

You know what's more heartbreaking about this homophobic disaster? Dave is likely in the closet and this whole situation here and the hate his uncle is showing must be so painful to him, it would probably bury him even deeper in the closet...

Klaus... The punch... Oh, baby... 😢 Oh no, I'm going to cry 😭😭😭

Is Raymond really implying that Allison is a spy? Damn...

Just tell him the truth, Allison! How do you marry a person without telling them something so big about yourself??

Oh, so Klaus has been sober for 3 years... Interesting.

No, Klaus! Don't start self-destructing again! 😢😢😢

It must be so painful for Ben to watch this and not be able to stop it...

Oh shoot, the cult found him.

"prophet"? "holy wanderer"? Interesting.

Poor Klaus just wants peace.

They seriously couldn't get a suit for Five too? Is he not allowed to wear anything else?

Five is onto Lila 🎶

Luther, are you stress eating? Well, at least you're not going on a bender again.

Awww, Luther- Allison reunion. Cute. Please don't make it weird.

Oh God, the awkward small talk is back 😩

I'm glad Luther is being so mature about this. I like this dynamic better.

"Vanya is on a farm. And happy" and Allison finds the happy part weird. Diego in the "nuthouse" and Allison doesn't find that weird at all, even does that 'yeah, ok makes sense' face. Klaus "cult leader" and Luther isn't surprised at all, that little "eh" was so funny.

Lord, this family is mess.

"Doomsday" *awkward chuckle* -you guys are getting way too used to this.

"Diego, try not to do anything too stupid" 😆 ah, brothers.

Lila in red heels, like mommy... 😏

Reggie taught them ballroom dancing? And Handler had the same idea?

Um.... Ok, so new theories! Do Handler and Reginald know each other? Could Reginald have been in the Commission? I'm going to be thinking about this for a while...

Just let the girl lead, Diego. Stop being a little bitch.

GRACE?!

So mom!Grace is either a cyborg or she was modeled after this woman... Makes curious about Reggie's relationship with this lady.

Diego going through the universal horror every kid goes through when realizing that mommy and daddy are "together". 🤣🤣🤣 "I can't picture it on my head. That's nasty"

She didn't tell him her name was Grace but apparently it is.

Am I the only one getting weird desperate and co-dependant vibes from Sissy?

Oh no! Save the baby!

Holy shit! HOLY SHIT! Vanya's powers are incredible! The special effects in this scene are unbelievable!

Save the child!

How did his lips get blue so quickly?

THE RETURN OF THE MAGIC ALIEN LIGHTS! AAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Ok, I need to pause to gather my thoughts... Ok, things I hope don't happen-please don't magically "fix" the disabled boy, and please don't make the powers transferrable (that's just lazy writing, don't rehash "Misfits").

However, other than that I'm just very curious what those lights will do to Harlan. Will they just save his life? Will he gain powers? Will he have some weird connection to Vanya now? I'm dying to find out!

Anyway, back to the ep.

Baby boy is ok!

Luther, did you think pissing off the mobster would end well?

Elliot just starting up at Luther in awe and visibly fighting not to poke him. 😆

HELL NO, LUTHER! NO DRUGS! DON'T YOU REMEMBER THE LAST TIME?? YOU GOT YOUR BROTHER KILLED!

Oh, Sissy... Poor woman.

There going to kiss, aren't they?

Melancholic music kicking in. Sad emotional talk. Sitting way too close. Yeah, they're going to kiss.

Aaaaaand there's the kiss! ☺️

But now I need to pause and digress again...

Yeah, Sissy's feelings for Vanya are not healthy at all. In fact they mirror Vanya's feelings for Leonard- she's unhappy with her life and clinging to the first person that gives her attention. She wants help, she wants to be rescued, she's touch and attention starved. She's co-dependant and emotionally manipulative.

I'm not saying Sissy is a bad person, she's not, she's a sad person stuck in an unhappy marriage, terrified of being abandoned (almost paranoid) and exhausted under a lot of pressure dealing with a disabled child. And then in comes Vanya, who is perfect with Harlan, so loving and kind and has nothing else to pour all her attention towards. Of course Sissy sees salvation in Vanya and is desperate to keep her.

I'm not saying Vanya and Sissy can't have a beautiful healthy relationship, they can, but not like this. Sissy is clinging too tight and using Vanya to make herself feel better and make her life easier. They both deserve better than that and I hope they get it.

I'm starting to think that all relationships in this season might be doomed to fail:

-Sissy and Vanya have a co-dependant and emotionally unhealthy infatuation and Sissy is married to a man that, while not great, still clearly loves her;

-Raymond and Allison have too many secrets between them that are causing a major rift, they can fix it but there's also the chance that Ray might not be able to accept the truth about her;

-Lila is a double agent using Diego to get close to Five, she seems to be developing feelings but the fact that she's lying about who she is and working for Handler is obviously toxic;

-Klaus is pining over a person that Dave has not yet become and while he only wants to save Dave's life, it's obvious there's too big an experience and culture gap between them for a relationship to flourish;

-Luther and Allison have become one-sided and less innocent and puppy-love than before, now it really is just creepy and unhealthy (whereas before it was understandable because they grew up together under an emotionally unavailable father and isolated from the real world, naturally they became attached and confused their feelings, their attachment wasn't healthy but it was justified and almost innocent... Not anymore though);

-we have no concrete proof yet, but it seems Ben MIGHT be pining over a girl that might not even see him, he's dead, it might be an interesting dynamic storywise, but it's not going to happen, it's unhealthy and unfair;

Some of these couples might still survive and become great, it's still really in the season after all, but they have a lot of growing to do before they get there.

Anyway.... Back to the episode.

Oh Klaus... Off the wagon...

Allison being a good sister and taking care of her brother. My heart ❤️

Luther, you idiot... Well, at least you're getting high in a safe environment.

Luther and Klaus are self-destructing, my poor boys.

"you are super weird" - Luther, you have no zero right to call anyone weird, have you looked in the mirror??

"the woman I love loves someone else" -the woman you love is. your. SISTER!

I really like poor Elliot, I hope nothing bad happens to him.

Jesus, that's creepy, Luther.

Didn't I say Reginald was the 12th? 😏

Roswell? Reggie probably has a vested interest in that.

Blink out of there, Five.

I love that Five's main move is always 'teleport onto their backs and go for the throat'.

Wait, why did Five's teleportation glitch???

The music!!!!

Wait, did Diego's aim just glitch too???

Could these power glitches be connected to Vanya's magic lights going into Harlan? Or could it be something about the Swedes? Or about Reginald's presence, seeing as he dodged Diego's power before? Hmm...

Oooh, Lila has to choose between Diego and her mission already? Interesting... Of course she chooses to save Five.

Badass Lila is amazing!

So she could have helped Diego after helping Five but instead she just walks away? Huh, unexpected.

Diego, you adrenaline junkie. Good moves though.

The ancient Greek is a surprise! I really want to know what Five said to Reginald!!! What did he say? I need to know!!!

Another great chapter!! Very emotional too!

I want more!!!

#tua #tua s2 #tua s2 spoilers #reactions #live blogging #theories #spoilers

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