#anyways. he needs better friends. and therapy. and his family to go to therapy
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sinusoidaldysfunction Ā· 5 months ago
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Winter. Go king give us nothing.
Bonus w/ his earring bc. Why not.
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deadandphilgames Ā· 6 months ago
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oversharing in the tags time :)
#i think itā€™s time i go back to therapy#i keep having recurring nightmares about my ex best friend#or dreams where she reaches out to me. and explains why she cut me out#backstory. in high school had a lesbian toxic situationship with my#bestie. THEN i had another one. which kinda overlapped? the first one was open but also just messy#anyways. jade and i were like together for a year. then she got a boyfriend one day and i had a breakdown#it happened just after high school and i was sooooo ā€¦ unwell. wasnā€™t out to my family felt like i was gonna die etc etc#(this is all pre dnp btw) anyways next year i found dnp. a couple months later she broke up with her bf#and we sorted dated for a while (this whole time weā€™d been just friends and i was still not really over it but hiding it)#and then she dated ANOTHER guy. they broke up and she had a breakdown and moved 9 hours away. i went#to visit her for a month. we like kinda dated again then and i thought we could make it work. then 2020. no travel#so she started dating a guy. didnā€™t tell me. even though we spoke every day. she moved in with him#then she breaks up with him mid 2021. i started dating my gf. but Jade was clingy and it was awkward#she started dating a sketchy guy who was homophobic. i went and visited her a few times#start of 2023 she tells me she wants to make more of an effort cause he didnā€™t like her friends so she cut everyone out. then she ghosted#in feb 2023. we had tickets for#mcr in march. i had to text her cause sheā€™d blocked me on messenger and said im going to the concert whether sheā€™s there or not#she said ā€˜yeah no worries! you can take someone else in my place too šŸ˜Žā€™ she used that fucking emoji#and I havenā€™t spoken to her since. I think she quit her job . and that guy was not a nice man#so I still worry about her#writing this all down makes me realise she was a bitch and I deserve better#but I just want closure. it isnā€™t fair she replied so casually to my text when I said ā€˜youā€™ve blocked meā€™#it isnā€™t fair she HAS MY SIGNED COPY OF DANS BOOK#anyways. I need therapy to get over this#and I havenā€™t even written about my family issues (im#out and theyā€™re supportive but my god they fucked me#up as a kid)#if you read this hi šŸ‘‹ hope you are having a lovely day#donā€™t get in lesbian situationships!!!
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grimdarling69 Ā· 1 month ago
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Another deaged Dan and ellie or otherwise known as Crack.
Pt1 pt2 pt3. pt4
Jason was out patrolling Crime Alley when Clark called him freaking out.
Clark was currently in the doghouse with most of the bats and his sons. While most of it wasn't really his fault his family wasn't really the letting go type. He would know.
"What the hell do you want." He grimaced, that came out a lot rougher than he intended but sue him his brother had been missing for a week and they still were no were closer to finding him.
"Jason! How can you tell which rich men are predators?" What the hell.
"Get here now."
Which is how he came to be sitting across from a crisscross apple sauced Superman in his nearest safe house nursing a beer.
"I overheard something today at work." Kill him now. He was about to pull out a cyanide pill if this fucker didn't stop beating around the goddamn bush.
"What don't you overhear." He took another swing of his beer. He'd need plenty of it if Clark was gong to pester him for some fucking story while his brother was out there who knows where with God knows who, doing fucking anything. He could feel the green starting to rise and he did his best to push it back down but his vision was still tinged. It was happening a lot more often lately.
"Lex Luthor is apparently a sex trafficker." Atleast he was no longer beating around the bush but what the fuck? He knows the top suspect is Luthor and he's going to make a fucking joke about that. This was so not funny.
" I don't know what your playing at but you better explain yourself before I put a kryptonite bullet in your head." This fucker was going to singlehandedly destroy all his hardwork in therapy.
" One of my coworker's moms works at lexcorp, she called him today talking about the fact lex had two sick kids hanging around but disappeared and that a new one apparently showed up sick as well, last week." That got his attention.
"I also overheard her say he was experimenting on all of them and that the newest one spent time in Luthors own bedroom." He was going to cut Lexs dick off and shove it so far down his throat it was going to come out the other end. The green was suffocating.
"You think it's Damian."
"Who else? But the other kids I'm not sure." The other kids could have been surrogates for Damian but he was missing something. Kids because Lex has now kidnapped two other kids and experimented on them. And was probably hurting or experimenting on Damian in all kinds of ways he didn't even want to think about. The green spiking and flooding his senses, urging him to put down down anything that hurt his baby brother his...fraid? What the hell? He shook that thought off, that's never happened before. The green never allowed him to have such clear and borderline strange thoughts before.
"We need to go to the batcave." Shoving his helmet on, not even waiting for Clark's response, he'd beat him their anyway.
ā€------------
Jon was sat perched on the rocks high in the cave, listening for even a hint of wherever Damian had gone. His dad who he was absolutely pissed at bad arrived and asked everyone to to 'please listen to whatever he and Jason have to say before you interupt'. Which led to a lot of shouting and arguing he was ignoring. He already knew what it was about he had been straining listening to every single person mentioning lex luthor.
He couldn't imagine Damian in that position. It wasn't that he didn't understand it could happen to anyone it was just disbelief that it could happen to... his best friend, who he's had a crush on for years. He obviously knew that no one was infallible, much less Damian, but he couldn't help think it. Damian always seemed untouchable.
Eventually, everybody quieted down again and went back to their own things. The quiet was unwelcome. He'd been having strange dreams since before he heard of Damian's disappearance.
They always started out normal enough. He was walking in a park that seemed familiar, but he knows for a fact he's never been to. After a while, he comes to a picnic table with various snacks and drinks thrown around in smaller piles like they were transfered from someone's arms to quickly care.
A boy with bright orange hair, covered in freckles everywhere, he can see wearing a basketball jersey attempting to twirl a ball on one finger, his hands are covered in colorful markers, both drawing snd wikd splotches. He instinctively recognizes him as 'Wes' even though he has no clue who he is. 'Wes' briefly tries to wave at him but loses his grip on his ball and has to chase it down the hill, cursing all the way. When he turned the back of his legs, have punctured, looking scars on them like something grabbed him and dragged him around, seering fangs into his flesh.
Another boy 'Tuck' is typing madly at what he can recognize as a PDA even though he's only seen them on old TV. He's placed in the center surrounded by tools most on his left and right side like he picked them up and threw them back down too quickly to care. His hands have several scars, but his left arm is the worst, 3rd degree burns healed, but still looked painful. His tongue is sticking out the side of his mouth, and he keeps pushing his dreads underneath a red beanie, but before his hands even touches his device, they've already slid back out.
There's two other girls side by side, one shooting airplanes and attempting to get the other to 'play with her'. One 'Val' his mind supplies somehow, has darker skin, and wears a typical y2k outfit complete with a flip-phone she secured on her body with a yellow ribbon. Her face has a huge jagged scar running from the side, almost touching her mouth as if her head slammed on something sharp, then dragged downward purposefully and other smaller scars on everywhere else. She looks straight out of one of his mom's old photo books rather than a 2000s fashion enthusiast. She smirks at him and waves her finger at him in a 'come hither' kinda way.
The other girl 'ellie', wear more baggy clothes, the knees are torn and darker from wear and tear rather than on purpose like what he himself has worn. From the little skin she shows he can see both bruising new and old with quite a few 'narley' looking scars. She sees him and waves, smiling brightly, she grabs one of the paper airplane and throws it into the sky. 'Ellie' then waves her hands around in a motion that looks like it was practiced for more effects than practical. Wind billows past her making the paper go soaring for a brief minute before it self-destructive under the stress of the wind. She pouts and stomps her foot before grabbing another one and trying again.
He continues past her and sits near 'val'. Val grabs his shoulders and snaps a phota on her phone. "Say cheese," she says through her teeth, smiling joyfully. For some reason, he obeys her command and smiles softly at the camera. He feels happy and peaceful. Val shoves the phone in his hand for him to inspect, but something is wrong.
He-she has dark black hair that seems to have a purple hue to it. Her makeup is dark and shadowed, and her clothes are shorter than he's ever worn before. They look sewn together cruedly but with an attention to detail he often lacks. She has quite a few scars ranging from scrapes to jagged cuts. Somehow, the girl holds a peace sign up, and he can see her claw like nails. The black paint was patchy in places, making him able to tell those were real nails, not just fake acrylics.
He looks down, and he sees her. Before he starts to spiral,'Danny' calls out. "Sam! There you are. I've been looking everywhere for you!" 'Danny' has even worse scarring than anyone else the way he leans over him he can see inside his shirt, a large autopsy scar is healed rough and jagged edges make it known he fought the whole time. He has litchenberg type figures from his right hands palm all the way up to his throat. Weren't they supposed to fade? He knows logically that he can't be Damian, but he also just feels like he is, like he's just like Jon's best friend, like he's known him forever and loves him. 'Danny' appearance then starts to shift from looking even more like Damian his eyes and face stay carefree, but his harsh scarring looks even more profound against his darker skin. 'Damian's' head comes to rest on his shoulder and he feels 'Sam' start to lean down and kiss him, but as soon as they lock eyes the dream is over leaving him in a panting mess, trying to catch his breath.
He's had that exact same dream for a week now with no change. All ending in the exact same spot. He wasn't sure who to talk to about it. It felt important, but what if it's just a dream?
"Jon? Hanging in there?" Kon floated up, he staying in the air probably in case he reacted negatively. He hates how they treat him like a ticking time boom, Damian never treats him like that. Come on, just say it. He's your brother.
"I just...miss him." he buried his head in his hands like the coward he was. Kon floated closer until he was landing right next him, bumping his shoulder.
"I know Jon, I get it." No you really don't. Cause i don't let you.
-----------
"So there is a boy you like?" Vlad pestered him rubbing his back.
"I never said it was a boy." He snarked before throwing up his entire stomach up in the toilet.
"Please Damian, I went to school with your father. Both of them now actually." He said matter a factually.
"Gay." He said in between hurling. Finally after not immediately throwing up as soon as he even moves slightly Vlad places a water bottle in his hands.
"Thank you." He mumbles, mind your manners young master.
Vlad was nice and all sometimes, but he missed his family. Pennyworths chiding, Richard's easy smiles and praises, Father's lessons. He missed it all.
Vlad really wasn't the best at emotions or parenting really. He... cared for him but he was more that fun uncle you realize was really just crazy. Not he'd ever tell Vlad that.
"Let's go back to work."
"Are you sure? We can take a longer break?"
"We both know we can't afford it."
Things weren't going all that well. They had realized fairly quickly that the incubation was going to follow a real pregnancy timeline if not a little shorter up to the birth where they will just faze out when their ready. Vlad theorized it was a protective measure his body was doing to make the pregnancy less ghostly. He couldn't handle even a half-ghostly anything. The flight to the island drained him of all of the ectoplasm he was able to accumulate over the years despite the corruption.
Due to the corruptedness of the pits he was basically severely ecto-deprived and any ecto he gains goes to the two extra cores or fixing the corruption. He can't even make any ectoplasm anymore because of the corruption stopping it. He needs to get to the Infinate Realms as soon as possible or else neither him or his kids will continue to exist. Vlad was also weaker using his own ectoplasm to power things because the purified ecto was so much weaker than just natural.
The ectopods give him a boost but he was getting worse. The ectopods had failed Dan and Ellie to.
Vlad was starting to get a little protective and by a little he means not wanting to let him out of sight at all. Barely for a bathroom break. Ancients forbid he takes more than five minutes and Vlad pulls a sledgehammer out.
He may or not be going a little stir crazy. It was agonizing he's not used to dealing with this much attention. His parents in his first life were mostly focused on the portal or their work in general until they suddenly realized they had kids then showered them with affection just to forget about them just as quickly. The league of assassins and his mother don't need any explanation really, between training there wasn't much time for affection his mother sometimes did but it was always behind closed doors when noone was watching at all and that didn't happen near as much as you would think. His father wasn't really affectionate on anything, the most he would get for a mission gone right was a pat on the back and a "good job chum" and it often felt more forced with him than the others. Richard was quite affectionate with both his words and his actions. Getting a passing grade or winning a fight or even losing a fight seemed to be a cause of celebration. He was physical with his affection, hugs and kisses on the forehead, but even the second he started feeling uncomfortable he would pull away. Sometimes it was nice sometime he just wished he would push just a little further.
Vlad didn't have any of that. He was all antagonistic words, he didn't even always seem to mean it, it just happened with him. His attention nice for a while but got tiring and he couldn't just ask him to leave him alone because Vlad would take it wrong. He also never knew when to leave him alone. Like he didn't need to sleep in his room just cause he was having headaches and occasional nosebleeds he had that plenty with concussions before and had been able to treat it since he was 4 years old. He thinks if Vlad says one word more on 'taking a break' or 'drinking some more water' he was going to punch him in the face.
"You dont need to push yourself! you'll only end up in more pain just take a five minute break? Please think of the kids I'm also there father to you know!" There it is.
Damian while around and punched him in the face. The force and the surprise knocking him onto the floor.
"Damian! What the hell is your problem, young man!" He attempted to get up but he didn't let him. He easily swept his feet from under him and pushed him back down.
"I'm sick and tired of you always thinking you know what's best for me! Well news flash. You don't." He punched him in the face, expertly evading Vlads dodging. Vlad was powerful with powers but without them he was much more skilled.
"Stop this right now!" He'd have to make him.
And make him he did. Shit. He overestimated just how much ecto Vlad had been giving him because he stopped holding back his strength and shoved him off.
Crack.
Shit Vlad definitely either broke or cracked one of his ribs. He must of really pissed him off because that didn't stop him. He ran at him and kicked him in the throat. He gasped for air.
"Are we done yet?" Fuck you. He grabbed his legs and pulled him down. Almost straddling him and started to beat his face in. Vlad spit out blood but started to heal quicker than he could hurt him. Switching their positions he stsrted to choke him out. He choked for air but remembering his training, he quickly administerd a move that would have taken down any regular human down.
Vlad quickly recovered even angrier and threw him roughly at the glass of the lab shattering it and landing in it. He could feel the glass prickling against his skin. Bloody streaks painting his hands, glass embedded. He tried getting up but heard a loud gasp.
Susan stood hand over her mouth. Her skin pale and her hand gripped her tablet so hard he could hear creaks. He laid his head back down. He suddenly didn't feel like fighting anymore.
"Take him to the physician." Vlad spoke, voice distant and echoey. He couldn't resist the pull of darkness and fell under.
--------
After Clark shared his findings with the cave a month ago, Tim and Barbara have been hard at work trying to track the call, but meeting dead ends all around. Lex's security to tight and better than ever before.
Until, a new call came through.
"David! Oh David it's horrible!" She cried, her sobbing evident even through the poor phone service. They quickly got to work, everyone joining in around them. It had a two months since the last time they saw their littlest bat. No way where they letting the opportunity slip through their hands again.
"That little boy! He threw him through a window! He's been in and out of emergency surgeries for a week. A week! He had a punctured lung, an almost crushed larynx, a broken collarbone, and five cracked or broken ribs. Not to mention, he's covered in bruises and srapes from the glass! It's terrible! That little boy, just laying on the operating table, his heart stopped twice. Twice! Oh, David! I don't know what to do." She was in hysterics. Oh god, that was his brother. His baby brother.
He ignored the broken sobs around him and pushed his down.
"I've got it." Barbara announced, hse didn't sound relieved in any way but he understood they still had to save him and from what they heard from her, he may never fully recover.
"Supers, fly ahead, scout out. This is Lex, he's bound to have plenty of kryptonite." The supers flew out without even acknowledgeing their orders.
He paused. Please don't say it. Please
"Evrybody else... to the batjet."
It didn't really matter what he said anyway everybody in the cave was ready to go war, with or without Bruce.
A/N if yall think for one second that a relationship built from the ashes of one of the most traumatic moments in their lives is going to be perfect, yall kidding yourselves. Vlad is never going to be perfect he and damian/Danny will always be archenemys who may or may not have some fluffy moments they'll still have met because he wat trying to kill his father so he could marry his mother. Vlad desperately wanting him to be son is so obsessive and insane he creates a clone of him to be his kid. They may care for each other, but vlad will never truly be a good choice for Danny in general.
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mvltisstuff Ā· 14 days ago
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go home - e.b
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summary: why does she feel so lonely but constantly surrounded by people?
angst, fluff, tw for suicidal thoughts, depression, not having any idea why you feel such a way
a/n: hi all <3 i wanted to write this as a way to express my feelings recently, and also as a way to let people know they arenā€™t alone. please, please stay. text 988, please. someone out there loves you. the river may twist and turn, but it will always meet the sea. iā€™m sorry if this is a bit messy, but itā€™s something i wanted to express as i can recognize y/n.
ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”
the second the alarm went off on her phone, y/n felt the equivalent to a million bees stinging her head. every single day was the exact same thing.
hit snooze.
sleep five more minutes.
wait until work ends.
the bed was freezing cold despite the man beside her. obviously, she felt a love for him that goes for light years, but why did it feel like a chore to show it?
buck and y/n had been together for years. theyā€™ve taken their time with one another, slowly and precariously loving on the other. buck needed y/n like he needed oxygen. he knew her. he knew her like the clouds know the blue sky. he knew her like a flame knows gasoline. he knew her like his heart knows to beat.
he rolled over, hearing her alarm and feeling her body adjust to turn it off. he flung his arm around her upper body, pulling her tightly into him.
ā€œiā€™m so tired.ā€ she whispers, her morning voice peering through.
ā€œi know,ā€ he takes it as a joke, a temporary feeling of wanting to doze off again. ā€œday off tomorrow, though.ā€
she didnā€™t think buck knew what she meant by tired.
she meant exhausted. she meant feeling like a car low on gas, but thereā€™s no station around. she meant feeling like a ghoul had grabbed onto her head, squeezing tightly at all moments. she meant the sinking feeling in her chest that wouldnā€™t vanish.
finally, buck dragged his girl out of the bed and took her to work. he loved working with her, getting to keep an eye on her at all times. he knows that sheā€™s safe when sheā€™s with him.
y/n loved working with buck. she worked with all of her friends, and had the most rewarding career out there, as well as the hardest.
the losses on the job feel like a string being cut off the guitar. the losses feel like someone came in and plucked away more of the good in the world. thereā€™s no avoiding the losses as a firefighter, but y/n doesnā€™t understand why she feels absolutely nothing.
she feels like a villain, just wanting to go home and forget about the entire day and the people she saved. she feels selfish and entitled, but she doesnā€™t have the energy to care, nor to fix the way sheā€™s feeling.
therapy never worked for her, and she doesnā€™t have the schedule right now, anyway. she didnā€™t need therapy, at least she doesnā€™t think so?
not until the morning after her thoughts eat away at her about vanishing. y/n doesnā€™t want to die, she just wants everything to stop.
she feels like love is never coming for her, even though itā€™s right in front of her face, screaming at her to pay attention to it. she feels a lack of success and uselessness. thereā€™s always someone better.
buck, as well as the rest of the 118 family, started noticing the symptoms. the classic ones, but also the more hidden ones. buck knew her, how could he not notice?
ā€¢
y/n came home from work, finally ready for her day off. she was looking forward to it all week, just thinking about the warm clothes she could slap on and the sleep she could fall into.
she was asleep when buck got home. he nudged it off as being tired, seeing how hard she works first hand. the next day, on her day off, she woke up past noon, took a nap, and was back asleep by 10. buck felt like she moved across the country by the time the next weeks followed.
he felt like he was in a war with himself and y/nā€™s sleep. he was pushing it away but it was still consistent. she didnā€™t want to go out for date night, or babysit jee. if he stayed at work longer, heā€™d come home to her asleep in their bed.
even when she was awake, buck had to ask himself,
did he know her?
ā€¢
when bobby cooks, you may as well clear your diet for the rest of the day. one plate was not an option, youā€™d be crawling back to the pot like it contained gold.
however, just one bite of food recently can make y/n feel like sheā€™s gonna throw up. bobby makes her favorite dishes, but y/n had a distance from it.
they sat at the table, a calm break from the storms outside that were just a call away. y/n sat down first. sheā€™d usually wait for buck to get his plate, but he didnā€™t mind.
ā€œonly one plate, y/n? never seen that before,ā€ chim chimed in.
deep down, somewhere in her, y/n wanted to laugh. she had a voice clawing up in her to just crack a smile. alas, her brain suppressed it again.
ā€œwhat, im not allowed to not stuff myself ā€˜til i faint?ā€
silence. forks stopped scratching against the plate. chewing stopped, even the slightest breath noises slowed. theyā€™d never seen her eyes roll so far to the back of her head without a grin creeping after it.
ā€œuh oh,ā€ eddie adds. ā€œsomeoneā€™s not happy.ā€
god, she wanted to scream.
ā€¢
the profoundness of the loneliness in her body just dragged her down. it felt like a different foot every day that was going to lead to six. she yearned for people, but it was all she has.
sheā€™s felt this way for far too long, and itā€™s getting old. she hates it. y/n wants the monster inside of her to be murdered. she canā€™t fill the deep void inside of her, but she wants it so bad. the depression, meanwhile also trying to diminish her, sapped her whole body and mind. it was a poison that y/n doubted would ever escape. the monster in her was here to stay. it grew stronger the more isolated she got, gaining control that would scare her to death. it was impossible to escape his suffocating grip around her and she didnā€™t have the courage to fight back on it.
y/n didnā€™t want to die, but she would let the monster take her away.
weeks passed, and nothing had changed. y/n and buck were two souls combined. he could feel everything happening to her like it was happening to him.
it was two a.m and y/n drove through a whole tank of gas. she went over city lines after telling buck she was going to run errands. errands gone a little long lost in thought. she sped down highways, thinking of swerving off. in certain moments, she would let her hands drift off the wheel and let it guide her.
a mix of fear and disbelief rushed through her veins as the black car sped up to her. y/n going fast wasnā€™t an invite for him to join. it pissed her off, bad. some random asshole just ruining her peace, which seemed like it always happened to her.
it wasnā€™t until her front bumper came in contact with the dodgeā€™s rear that her mind had to snap back into itself.
buck waited up for her, regardless. he knew she would come home. y/n would never drop a love as special as that, no matter the fog in her head.
he heard the front door twist and unlock, the door creaking open. he stayed on the couch, waiting to see what she would do. he almost just ignored it, knowing she would just go to bed. but, maybe he didnā€™t know her.
y/n stood in her sweatpants and her 118 zip up, staring at buck with her hair thrown into a ponytail. ā€œhi.ā€
ā€œhey, beautiful,ā€ buck replies, gently and his words graze her like a feather. but, the look on her face is nearly unfamiliar. itā€™s a whole new look of awakening. she looks more alive than heā€™s seen her in weeks. in contrast, the look on buckā€™s face contains pure alarm.
her chest rises and falls rapidly, like sheā€™s trying to take in every breath she can. shes never felt this close to the end of her life before. a new fear was unlocked, a phobia of herself.
ā€œi think, um,ā€ she stares at the hardwood floor. buck walks up closer to her, his hands connecting with her forearms to steady her. ā€œi think i need some help.ā€
ā€œi know, baby,ā€ he starts, rubbing her soft sweatshirt with his hands to warm her skin. ā€œand im gonna help you. weā€™re gonna help you.ā€
ā€œi donā€™t want to die anymore.ā€ buckā€™s heart sinks into his toes hearing her say that. the woman in front of him, the one who his world revolves around, the one who may as well have her name carved into his back, was telling him she almost gave up.
he couldnā€™t help but well tears in his eyes, but he fought them back. he allowed her body to slump against his, as they stood in the dim walkway of their apartment.
to love someone is to fight their monsters.
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bloodynectarine Ā· 2 years ago
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Boiling point
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After weeks of holding himself together and setting clear boundaries, only for them to be broken over and over again, MC snaps.
tags. male mc, post-lesson 16, belphie is his own trigger warning, angst, ptsd, mild violence, hurt and comfort.
notes. i don't want therapy, i want revenge. everyone got over belphie killing us way too quickly, and i find it frustrating. you know what would be really fun? to punch belphie. love him, but the amount of serotonin he would bring into my life if i could justā€¦ punch him once. a boy can dream.
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Dying and somehow living to tell the tale was not exactly in your plans when you decided to help the demon stuck in the attic.
Sure, you knew it was dangerous and sure, you understood it was a gamble. But you never quite got that your life was at stake until you felt Belphegor's cold grip around your neck and your vision started to get fuzzy at the edges.
Oh, you thought, with startling clarity.
I'm going to die.
You may still be here, but no, you did not survive Belphegor's wrath and hurt. The sensation of phantom hands pressing down your throat never quite left you.
And Belphegor is nothing but a cruel reminder of the night you died.
First, comes the terror. Even with the pact to protect you, in the days following the event, you can't help but freeze every time Belphegor is in the same room.
As you get used to his presence around the House of Lamentation, as he insists in siting next to you during breakfast and in holding your arm on your way to class, the terror slowly subsides, opening way for a different, less familiar feeling.
Annoyance. Anger. Borderline rage.
Who does he think he is?
Who does he think we are? Best friends, family?
ā€œBelphegorā€¦ā€, you call for the demon that's already laying on top of your lap, with a tense smile hanging from your lips.
This week's movie night was held in your room. It was one of the rare occasions in which all the inhabitants of the House of Lamentation were present. Even Lucifer is here, looking comically out of place, regal and all seriousness, as if he were in the middle of a meeting and not watching a three-hour-long romance anime film.
Mammon got off from his ā€œrightful placeā€ (ā€œDIBSā€, the demon of greed shouted as soon as you sat down, throwing himself across your lap), to rip the remote control out of Levi's hands, who kept rewinding the same scene over and over again (ā€œIt's really important for the plot!!!ā€).
And in the middle of the squabble, Belphegor appeared out of nowhere to climb into your lap, and just. Cuddle.
At your call, he looks up and blinks lazily at you, with his big eyes and his messy bedhead. And the image should be endearing, really, but your chest feels cold, and you can feel your limbs locking in place. You feel trapped, uncomfortable. Ah, it's fear.
ā€œI need. A bit of space. Could you sit somewhere else?ā€, you manage to let out, and your voice is the only sound in the room. Quarrel and movie long-forgotten, everyone is watching the two of you. Beel was the one who took over and put the film on pause.
Belphegor blinks the drowsiness out of his eyes. His brow furrows, just a little, and if anything, he looks put off by the question, a little lost.
ā€œI don't want to sit anywhere else. I know Mammon was here just seconds ago, but I'm a better cuddle-partner than him anyway. You can ask anyone.ā€
And he doesn't move. He lays his head against your chest with a yawn.
ā€œI don'tā€¦ā€ want to be close to you. You stop yourself from uttering those words, mindful and considerate, truly doing your best. You don't want to lie either, so you decide to play around with the phrasing. ā€œI'd rather you gave Mammon his place back. Or, you know what? I can change seats myself.ā€
Your tone is as lighthearted as you can manage, and you start to get up from the couch, with Asmo, who's sitting next to you, moving out of the way to give you the space that you need. The space you very specifically asked for.
But Belphegor's weight is heavy against you and traps you in place. Not only that, but his hand reaches for your arm and pulls, looking at you with the same bewildered expression as before, genuinely confused. When you fall against the couch, still under him, you're reminded of how strong he is. Of how weak you're in comparison.
ā€œOi, Belphie. No one is better at cuddles than meā€, says Mammon after a too long pause. ā€œAnd of course he wants to be with the great Mammon, everyone does. Now move, we still have, like, two hours left of the movie and if we don't finish it tonight, Levi is going to complain all week.ā€
Levi, who would normally jump into the conversation to defend himself, is barely visible, half hidden between Beel and Satan. His eyes dart between you and the hand that's holding your arm.
ā€œWell, we are already so comfy, so I won't get upā€, you wonder who ā€œweā€ is. Belphegor talks lazily and moves the hand that isn't holding you in a dismissing manner, as if this was not more than a bothersome request, interrupting his nap for nothing.
Your teeth grind together, and there it is, once again. The ugly pressure that holds your gut in a tight grip, the heavy discomfort in your throat. Once foreign, but now you can tell it apart so easily. Anger.
ā€œBelphegor. You heard him already.ā€ This time, Lucifer is the one talking, and he sighs as he gets up, coming closer in an attempt to pry him away from you.
ā€œOh, please.ā€ Belphegor rolls his eyes, clearly irked by Lucifer's intervention. ā€œWe are okay. Right?ā€, he looks back at you, and this time around his voice is filled with doubt, bordering hopeful, searching for something in your eyes.
ā€œWe aren't.ā€ At last, you say it, flatly, and it comes out sharper than you intended, if the way Belphegor flinches and Asmo whimpers is any indication. You're tired, what little patience you have left is quickly running out thanks to the stubborn remarks and your words falling on deaf ears. ā€œLet me move.ā€
The demon on your lap has the gall to look affronted, hurt. His bewildered expression does nothing more than increase the feeling already boiling deep within you. You can feel Satan's eyes boring in your cheek, but you refuse to look at him.
ā€œHeyā€¦ Relaxā€, Belphegor mutters, now looking a little concerned too. For you. He's worried about you, and yet he still won't get up. ā€œAre you okay? What's wrong?ā€
What's wrong.
What's wrong?
You're so taken aback by the question that by the time you react, his hand is already on its way to hold your cheek.
The most violent of flashbacks comes through you, a whiplash that hits you with the force of a truck. His handprints on your neck, trying to catch your breath, feeling cold all over, with the only warmth coming from your own blood ringing loudly in your ears, flowing right next to his voice, so full of hatred.
You can't freeze this time around, you need to move, you need to run, you need to do something, anythi--
ā€œBelphie, I don't think you sh--ā€ Satan tries to warn him, but it's too late.
By the time Belphegors fingertips touch your cheek (and this time they're warm, not dead-cold, you notice with surprise) your fist is already hitting against his nose, punching him right in the middle of his face, with a force you didn't even knew you had in you.
Not that you've ever done it before, but you can imagine this is what it feels like to hit a wall. Your hand hurts and goes numb.
The impact pushes Belphegor against the cushions, his hands flying to cover his nose. And any other day it would have been impossible, your punch would never land (he's that much faster, that much stronger), but right now he was so worried about you, so desperate to stick by you. His guard was as down as it will ever be.
His nose is bleeding, you notice, at the same time as Asmo gets up with a gasp. Levi shrieks in the background, and Mammon let's out this weird noise, a mix between one of his ā€œOiā€, your name, and a scream.
Everything stands still, and, to your credit, you're just a shocked as everyone else.
With the punch, all anger has left your body, and now you're just a bunch of nerves, looking at Belphegor with big eyes. Belphegor looks back at you, so shocked, and you suddenly feel like crying. Oh, how much you hate being an angry-crier.
Satan is the one that breaks the silence, with a heavy sigh. ā€œTold you so.ā€
Beel comes next, taking two steps in your direction but stopping when you raise your palm. You're trembling, but you come close to Belphegor all the same, refusing to back down.
ā€œAsshole.ā€ It's the first thing you say, and defying the impossible, Belphegor's eyes grow even wider as you tower over him, kneeling on the couch.
ā€œAre you deaf? Wasn't I clear enough? Loud enough?ā€, and when you raise your fist in the air, Lucifer approaches, but all you do is gently punch Belphegor's chest. Again and again. ā€œI told you to move. Several times. And still, you didn't. I wasā€¦ I was dying of fear, and you weren't moving.ā€
ā€œYou, inconsiderate shit.ā€ Punch. ā€œYou, deaf moron.ā€ Punch.
ā€œYouā€¦ Stubborn cow.ā€
Belphegor has let the blood simply flow across his face, and now he's kneeling in front of you, holding his own hands, the same surprised look on his face.
And that's that.
You let your arms fall with a groan and simply sigh. For Diavolo, violence really isn't for you, you are so tired.
ā€œS-Should we separate them?ā€ Levi asks in a trembling voice, frantically waving his hands, unable to decide whether to approach or flee.
ā€œNo. He has more to say.ā€ Satan gently holds Levi's wrists, and waits.
That's when you realize that yes, you got more to say. In fact, you've had something to say for way too long, and now you're dying to get it off your chest.
ā€œI gave you my trust, and I knew I was being childish and reckless in doing so, but all I wanted was to help. I cried for you, I felt for you, and I did everything I could to be by your side even though all I had to offer was just. Just me. Mortal, human. And in response, you killed me.ā€ Belphegor recoils at your words, but you go on.
ā€œIt hurt. It still hurts, even now. Sometimes I see you and all I can think about is your betrayal.ā€
Belphegor looks down, biting his lips, in silence. You can see his hands shaking, and you remember your talk under the stars, his eagerness when he offered you a pact. When he gave you the control you needed. His hands were shaking back then, too.
With a groan, you reach out to hold his chin, lifting his face. You take the long sleeve of your pajamas and begin to wipe the blood running down his chin, across his lips. Slowly, with care.
Your fingers run through his hair just to be able to look directly into his eyes. He looks anxious, fearful, and you know that your next words have the power to break or mend his heart.
So you decide to, once more, open yours and leave the rest in his hands.
ā€œI don't hate you. And this isn't me cutting our ties. I understand your pain, I really do. Please, understand mine.ā€
Your thumb caresses over his forehead. Carefully, gently.
ā€œI need time. I'll let you know when I'm ready.ā€
Belphegor inhales and exhales deeply, holding your gaze. Slowly, but surely, he takes your hand between his, from his forehead to his lips, leaving the lightest of kisses against your palm. You feel the pact mark that binds you together tremble and sing.
ā€œI'm sorry. For the pain, for my insistence, I justā€¦ Wanted to be close. I need to be close. I'll wait for you.ā€
Straightforward as ever. But you are struck by the sincerity in his voice, in his eyes, and this time around it takes you no more than a second to nod.
ā€œRight. Be good and wait for me.ā€
Unable to resist, you pat his head, just as you would to a small, rebellious child. He's the baby of the family, after all. He groans, and you laugh, feeling so much lighter. And unbelievably tired.
By the time you remember that you're not alone in the room and turn around to placate the others, you make eye contact with Satan.
He's looking prouder than ever, the little smile on his lips telling enough. ā€œGo onā€
The brothers needed no further prompting to launch themselves at the two of you, a jumble of limbs and shrill voices.
ā€œMC, that was, as usual, reckless. From now on, fist fights are forbidden in and out of the house. Evade further conflicts.ā€
ā€œB-But wasn't MC so cool?!?! Belphie is so much stronger, but he was down with one punch! W-way too op, MC!!ā€
ā€œOi! Human, how dumb can ya be?! Tell me before you go around punchin' demons, I can punch them for ya!ā€
ā€œI knew you were good at controlling your anger, but I never imagined that much. You are full of surprises.ā€
ā€œBelphie, gosh, your clinginess finally got you in trouble, mh? Your surprised face was so cute! Do you need concealer?ā€
ā€œBelphie, does it hurt? Do you need ice? We have popsicles in the freezerā€¦ Wait, I ate them all yesterday, sorry Belphieā€¦ Do you want me to go and buy more? MC, which flavor would you like?ā€
ā€œWe are good, Beel.ā€ Belphegor answers, still looking at you. ā€œRight?ā€
You laugh at his not-so-subtle search for assurance, and your chest feels astonishingly full. ā€œWe will be, for sure.ā€
Movie night turns right into a sleepover after that, as every single one of the demon brothers refuses to leave your room. Lucifer might roll his eyes, but he still settles on your couch, right next to Satan.
And for the first time in weeks, you're able to close your eyes and rest, feeling safe and at home.
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ao3Ā ā€•Ā writing tag
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miiboo Ā· 1 month ago
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fair warning: i have a rat brain and dc stands for disregard canon <3
as far as the public knows, there are four robins: family robin, crime alley robin, the female robin, and the assassin robin. only steph, bruce, and dick know about the forgotten robin, tim drake.
tim drake was the robin before steph, the one who pulled bruce out of his depressive pit and saving criminals a trip to the icu, but to steph, he is her best friend and the one she confided in. he found her as spoiler and convinced babs to take her under her wing. he helped her get the title of batgirl. her best friend.
until the joker kidnapped tim and he went missing. everyone scrambled to find him, but during those weeks, steph and bruce argued for hours on end.
one night, via thermal imaging, babs found the jokers dead body in the arkham ruins that they find tim, or what's left of him anyways. steph and bruce go together to check it out and are immediately horrified to see what they find: shock therapy equipment and plenty of serums. hair dye, bleach, and surgical tools are haphazardly discarded on a table near by. a gun was discarded several feet away from the jokers dead body, a bullet wound between his eyebrows.
steph tries to hold herself together as bruce rummages around the ruins to find tim, but eventually breaks when she sees remnants of the robin costume neatly folded on a table with restraints and the robin symbol on top. a post-it note was next to it.
to batgirl, i'm sorry. i am alive. joker junior --tim
she holds the costume close when she cries.
eventually, she takes up the robin mantel and using the journals tim left in drake manor, creates her own costume with alfred. she carefully stitched tim's robin symbol on the left side of her chest, over her heart.
the relationship between her and bruce is strained, but he falls into that depression pit once more, and using tim's methods, she dragged him out of it. they don't talk about tim, dick and babs keep quiet about it too.
five years later, she took up the spoiler mask again, and in charge of a series of murders involving electricity. after the fifth body is found in the arkham ruins and the signature "jj'", realization dawns on the four. everyone else is confused, and soon, steph and bruce are harshly exchanging words.
one night, tim makes contact, and the family begins to argue about what needs to happen. steph told damian she was borrowing robin and changed into the old uniform.
"we can't just send you out there steph," dick argued.
"you can and you will. i was robin when we first encountered junior," a half-lie. "i know him better than any of you, and bruce will just set him off."
"steph," bruce warned.
"you're not changing my mind bruce. i'm going to see hi m whether you like it or not."
"steph."
"no. you let him slip through the cracks last time, so it's my turn now. this isn't about you. this is about me. about jason. about babs. about robin." bruce's eyebrow twitched, his way of flinching. no other words are said when she uses the robin bike to zoom into the streets of gotham and to the meet up spot.
she sees tim on the rooftop with his hair grown out and slightly dyed blue. there were scars on his mouth line and he wore a tshirt with jeans. the reunion was bittersweet, a ton of crying and steph slapping him. she was just happy that he was safe ((after their crying sess, tim realizes she was wearing his design, and began crying again)).
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obxsummer Ā· 15 days ago
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Oooo what about a blurb/fic od the 18 months where the reader is finally getting her chance to recover from the events at the Cameronā€™s house/with singh/everything lol and itā€™s just night after night nightmares. Screaming everyone awake and such?? Can you elaborate
love love love this thank u for the request!!
also requested: I have a routledge reader idea, you mentioned nightmares she had during the 18 months, maybe John B being the one to save her from them. Basically rocking her as she screamed bloody murder. Sometimes not even nightmares just night terrors she couldnā€™t escape. Maybe him forcing her into going to see a therapist but it just makes her worse until the therapist suggest a family meeting and more and more of the ab*se and torture comes out she experienced
series masterlist
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The nightmares had been going on since you escaped the Cameron household with JJ almost three (?) years ago now. (bro can this show give a better timeline a girl is struggling)
There was no surprise you were haunted by the near-death experiences and trauma you had been through with your friends and by yourself. Whether it was Rafe, losing John B, or watching your friends disappear from your eyes, sleeping wasnā€™t easy and it wasnā€™t kind to your mind.
Obviously, the events at El Dorado, watching your father die in front of you, and watching people get shot, were hard to wrap your head around. It was like the sight was burned in your eyes and every time you tried to rest, your body couldnā€™t forget.Ā 
The hospital had recommended therapy after stitching up the bullet wound from South America, and although you considered it heavily at the time, you didnā€™t fully commit. Youā€™d gone to a few welcome sessions, and one individual before the cost aspect came in, and thatā€™s where you were no longer interestd.
JJ caught you first, which made sense. The bags under your eyes were dark and you were a shell of a human at that point. JJ hadnā€™t realized you were slipping out of bed at night to stare at the stars, falling victim to the voices and images in your head. It was one off night where heā€™d been rattled by the thunder and lightning of a storm and he realized you were curled up in the hammock out on the covered balcony. Figuring you were enjoying the storm, he moved to join you, but the tears and soft sobs told him so much more.
John B witnessed the worst one.Ā Ā The group was pulling an all-nighter on the shop prep before opening day and youā€™d dipped to take a quick nap before rejoining. John B had never had his heart drop so violently when he heard your scream. It was so deep and terrifying that he was sprinting up the stairs by two each to get to you as fast as possible, fearing the worst.Ā 
He had never seen you in such a state, like sleep paralysis had taken over and left you silent. John B didnā€™t hesitate to wrap you into his hold, pulling you into a sitting position and lovingly crushing you between his arms. Seconds felt like hours before you relaxed in his embrace and the first sob left your lips.Ā 
John B didnā€™t know what to do, but he was there, and thatā€™s what mattered.Ā 
He let it go for a few weeks, checking in with JJ when you werenā€™t looking to see if anything got better. When it didnā€™t, he practically carried your ass to therapy, claiming the gold had a loose enough budget to accommodate a few sessions. You felt guilty about the whole thing between cost and timing of someone taking you, but John B and JJ reassured you multiple times not to.
ā€œYou deserve to take up space in this family,ā€ John B had told you when you refused to get out of the van at the third session, claiming there were more important things that needed to happen. ā€œI know you donā€™t agree with me, and you probably never will, but you deserve to heal from this, too.ā€
And then came the arguments that you could push through, that everyone in the group likely needed therapy anyway. John B didnā€™t let that one last long, arguing that nobody else was waking up with screams besides you and occasionally, JJ.Ā 
You were stubborn, and after everything, you didnā€™t want to let your walls down to strangers. Then, youā€™d found a friend (term used very lightly).
Sofia was volunteering at the sessions, but given the fact that both of you were Pogues, youā€™d at least clicked somewhat after talking. Neither of you talked outside of the 30ā€“60-minute sessions, but you were grateful for the familiar face when you walked in the room. Little did you realize how much that would come to bite you in the ass.
You learned how to talk yourself out of an anxiety attack, and to acknowledge you needed to cope with this stuff on an individual basis. As much as you loved your friends, you couldnā€™t rely on them to fix this for you.Ā 
The last individual session had been a shit show. The recommendation that John B come sit in with you was not a welcomed one, and although you loved your brother so much, it was hard to be emotionally vulnerable while working on building independence.Ā 
John B had his guesses of what happened when you were with the Camerons, and then again when Singh had taken you off the beach. And while he didnā€™t want to pry, there were millions of questions heā€™d had about everything that happened. The way you shut down in the hall at Tannyhill, the screaming, the shying away from someoneā€™s touch.Ā 
Youā€™d taken a lot of shit from your dad over the years, but John Bā€™s never seen you so small and scared in your life.Ā 
While the session was pretty much useless, and almost broke into an argument when they tried to manipulate you into answering things you didnā€™t want to discuss, you were done. You told John B to never bring you back again, so he didnā€™t.
He wanted to fix all of it, to fill the promises heā€™d given you over the years and be the older brother youā€™d deserved for so long. You were both teenagers at the end of the day, but God, you could barely act like one with everything youā€™d gone through.
One day, youā€™d spill everything to your brother...come clean about the scars, visible and hidden, that would forever stain your skin and soul. And he would listen, cry, and be there for it allā€¦ because thatā€™s what big brothers do.
Thatā€™s what John B had promised. And he was done breaking promises.
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solar-wing Ā· 1 year ago
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āš£ Therapist BatBro šŸ‘“
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āš£šŸ‘“ A/N ā†’ Therpist BatBro makes his debut. The second pic is honestly what I feel a therapy session in the Wayne family would look like. This is from another request I got from my previous account.
āš£šŸ‘“ Summary ā†’ Your family isn't pleased with your new hobby or group of friends. But, somehow you've made it a business. Gotta respect the hustle at least.
āš£šŸ‘“ Words ā†’ 2.3k
REBLOGS and replies are greatly appreciated, please! šŸ‘“
āš£ ENJOY šŸ‘“
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The way I see it, you're either a vigilante with the fam and all the villains just seem to like you for some reason and ask where you are during a battle OR you're not a vigilante and you volunteer at Arkham (which would be absolutely insane but it's Arkham so it breaks even) and everyone there is cool with you. Even the Joker (which won't fly well with Jason at all).
We're going to go with the second option for this one.
So, since Bruce was adamant about you not joining the family business as a vigilante since you were the youngest and he had an unyielding urge to protect you and your childhood innocence, you needed to find something to do in your free time.
What better than to volunteer at a crazy house for psychopathic murdering villains?
Of course, considering Arkham was filled mainly with criminals your father had put there along with your siblings, it probably wouldnā€™t be wise to do that since theyā€™d obviously wouldnā€™t approve.
SO, you did it anyway and just didn't tell them.
BatBro contemplating...
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Duke was the first to find out. Batman had supplies Arkham needed but since he was at work and Duke always took the day shift as everyone liked to joke, who better to drop it off than him? Imagine his surprise when he finds his baby bro in there serving ice cream to Mr. Freeze.
"Here ya go Fries, my man. I sprinkled some ice shavings on there to make it a little tangier for you..." You said handing him the cone.
"Ha ha ha, aren't you hilarious." Victor Fries replied with a genuine smile. As far as The Signal persona knew, he was only capable of smirking or mean-mugging the shit of people, with the exception of an occasional shivering face while mocking someone for how cold they were.
'Oh, they're not gonna believe this...' Duke thought, racing home right after. The way he left the institution, the guards almost thought there was a breakout or a fight going on. Nope, but there might be when he told everyone.
Of course, no one believed him at first, just staring at the dude as if he just said the craziest thing in the world like Bruce being an emotionally available parent.
When you came home that night acting cagey and weirder than normal, they figured something was going on and maybe you were at Arkham but for something completely different than what Duke thought it could be. Because, there would be no way Bruce Wayneā€™s, aka Batman, own son would ever even consider fraternizing with criminals, let alone his enemies. Right?
So, like any other sane, normal family who responded to distressing situations with maturity and rationality... they spied on you.
Damian, Tim, & Cass followed you the next day. Tim was understandably distraught but also curious how you could have managed to form a friendship with Gotham's criminally insane.
Like...THEY WERE INSANE. But, when he really thought about it, considering the family you came from...yeah, okay. He can see the correlation now.
Damian, however, refused to believe his little brother could be so stupid and dense. How could you form relations with the enemy like that? It was stupidity. Plain idiocy at its finest. It was betrayal!
On the other hand, it was a smart move looking from an assassin's point of view. You know the whole keep your friends close and enemies closer deal, but that was his thing. Not yours! So you'd be getting extra noogies and brotherly beatdowns when you got home. In the name of camaraderie and righting your careless decisions.
Cass thought it was fucking hilarious.
Upon their arrival and finding you trading riddle jokes with Riddler, their jaws all collectively dropped to the floor.
"Okay, okay okay..." You breathed, calming down from your wheezing laughter. "Riddle me this...I'm neither a man nor a woman but don't hurt my wittle feelings cause I'm still a person. I'll kick you and scream at you, even both during a tantrum. My ego's bigger than my head but shorter than my height, who am I?"
Riddler took a moment to think about it before the metaphorical lightbulb appeared above his head, "Boy Wonder!" He pointed.
"Which one?" You immediately responded.
"The fourth one!"
"Yes!"
Tim and Cass both had to think about it before they realized the clues in the riddle. They're eyes went wide when they realized who you were talking about, and turned to see Damian who looked ready to tear your head off with his teeth.
"He's in for it when he gets home..." He growled through his grinding teeth.
Damian pissed (Left) | Tim & Cass (Right)
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Everyone was mildly concerned when they came home that night and asked them how everything went only for Damian's immediate response to be that he was going to get his revenge sketchbook.
Why Damian has a revenge sketchbook, no one knows. But, everyone was just the right amount unsettled by it.
That night at dinner there was a bit of a tense air as Damian had to be placed between both Bruce and Jason to keep him from lunging at you with his salad fork. Usually, you were used to Damianā€™s somewhat murderous tantrums, but this was on another level.
He almost looked like he would grow horns out of his head at any moment, which would actually be somewhat fitting. Considering he was the grandson of the Demon and all.
You also noticed how Tim and Cass kept weirdly staring at you. Neither of them said something, which was odd(well except maybe for Cass), but you just ignored it and ate your dinner.
That night, you put some of your old booby traps from when you first moved into the manor back into place. You needed some sort of reassurance and protection to help you sleep. At many points throughout the night, you shot out of bed and grabbed one of the many random weapons you had hidden around you when you thought you heard someone trying to sneak into your room.
Damian definitely tried but had learned his lesson after the last time he got caught in one of your traps. You took a lot of inspiration from movies like Home Alone and The Parent Trap.
The next day, Dick and Steph went to check out the mental institution insane asylum.
Steph also thought it was funny like Cass but in a more ironic type of way. Sheā€™d rooted for you to get your own vigilante identity and join the family business. So this was like the ultimate petty revenge and she was here for it.
But Dick just couldn't imagine you in a place like this. His sweet adorable baby brother, in this horrid mess? He was calling it, either blackmail or manipulation. A rude awakening was awaiting him around the corner.
They looked to see you in the middle of practicing a handshake with Bane.
"No Bane, fist bump, then the arm wiggle..." You said, showing him the move for the 4th time.
"Oh sorry buddy," He replied.
"No problem man, let's try again."
They watched you go through the whole routine, Steph taking a video on her phone while Dick looked in surprise and jealousy. How come you and him didn't have a handshake like that? Every little brother should want to have a cool handshake with their cool big brother! Was he not good enough?!
Steph laughing in petty (Left) | Dick breaking down (Right)
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When Dick stormed into the manor later muttering about showing you a real handshake, Bruce only raised an eyebrow when Steph walked in looking thoroughly entertained like she just watched the funniest show of her life. It certainly felt like it.
That afternoon, Dick gave you the cold shoulder all day. He even canceled your weekly brother movie night, which shocked everyone, especially your dad. What could have been so bad that would cause Bruceā€™s first protege to treat his kid brother like this? The same kid who heā€™d absolutely lose it if they went to anyone other than him for advice or would pout if he didnā€™t get the first hug from him when in a room full of people.
Of course, he still cracked when you gave him the hurt puppy dog eyes (a trick you learned from Jason that he used to use on Bruce all the time when he was younger). Dick caved and you guys ended up watching a movie, though you were mildly concerned whenever your oldest brother paused the movie and took the time to highlight the friendship and connection between two characters, especially if they were siblings.
Something like a special code, an inside joke, or even maybe a HANDSHAKE. What does it say about a big brother if his little brother doesnā€™t want to have a cool special handshake with him?!
Subtle.
You just nodded along, making a mental note to avoid any family-oriented films for your next movie night.
But, after this incident, youā€™d fully managed to get Bruceā€™s attention. He knew that Dick out of all his children was usually the least likely to get irate over something that wasnā€™t serious. So the fact that he did, despite how unserious it may have seemed, but it was settled.
Something was going on and your dad, noā€¦Batman was going to get to the bottom of it.
Jason decided to come along with your father, fully prepared to drag you out of the building by force if he had to. He even went as far as calling your boyfriend Conner Kent, aka Superboy, who he and Bruce had a love/hate relationship with because they couldn't really threaten the boy like they wanted to if he hurt you.
Well, Jason couldnā€™t at least.
Bruce had more than enough kryptonite in multiple storages across his warehouse and had no problem showing it to the half-Kryptonian as a warning.
Conner was more than a little peeved, try fucking pissed when he heard you'd been hanging out with supervillains. And he as well was ready to sling you over his shoulder if he had to. But, probably not in front of your dad who kept throwing pointed glares his way as they moved through the building.
When Batman showed up demanding to see where the volunteer by your name was, they quickly rushed to show him to your location. He couldn't fathom this. The mere thought that his youngest child, his sweet, innocent (on a good day) good-natured son, would be hanging around all his enemies, laughing with them like they were good ol pals?
He'd sooner believe Joker was going to therapy.
The shock of his lifetime was also waiting for him around the corner.
They came around to see you through a window sitting in an office room in business casual attire, holding a clipboard and writing down notes while Joker was laying on a couch with his cuffed hands resting on his chest, venting out his emotions.
"And sometimes, I do feel like I go a bit far. But, I can't take all the blame. I mean, everyone paints me as the villain, but Batsy plays into our little game just as much as I do. Why does he get painted as the hero and me as a crazy clown? Well, you know, besides the clown face, HAHAHA!" He vented, ending with his usual eerie cackle.
"Uh-huh, and how does that make you feel?" You asked while scribbling a few notes on your legal pad and adjusting the fake glasses on your face before turning around at the sound of the door opening.
You felt your heart drop in your stomach when you saw your father, brother, and boyfriend all staring at you with very unhappy looks.
"BATSY! Oh, do come in! We were just talking about you. I think it's about time you and I got some relationship counseling." Joker exclaimed.
Not one word was said while Conner grabbed you by your wrists, (gently of course because he's caring like that) and dragged you out of the room, Jason not too far behind, ready to tear you a new one. Batman held his shoulder, while Joker just watched in amusement, "Guess my hour's up."
You, Bruce, and Jason arguing (Left) | Joker enjoying the show (Right)
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You were immediately brought home after getting an earful from Jason to which you offered him his own free session.
He agreed.
Bruce demands to know why you would even consider going there, socializing with those people.
"Well, seeing as how I can't join the family business, I figured I could do some good in some way. And villains or not, they've got good in them! Just you know, when they're not trying to murder people." You answered.
You were interrupted by your other siblings appearing before you felt an arm forcibly turn you around which Conner raised an annoyed eyebrow at, but he kept his mouth shut.
"What does Bane have that I don't? Am I not good enough as an older brother to have a handshake with?"
You sighed, "Is that why you were so upset the other day?! Ugh, would you like to create a special handshake with me, Dick?"
" Yes! Super secret too! You can't have any handshakes with anybody else!" He hugged you while you patted his back.
Brothers could be so needy sometimes.
You could see your boyfriend eyeing you both with the strangest look. In your defense, he had plenty of warning of how weird your family was.
Before things could calm down too much though, everyone heard a shrill voice screaming your name from the top of the staircase.
"Y/N!"
"Fuck..." You muttered under your breath, before turning to see Tim and Cass giving you nervous looks.
ā€œYou were there with Riddler, werenā€™t you?ā€
They could barely look you in the eye as you turned to see Damian standing on the banister, holding one of your slippers in his hand.
"Who's short now?!"Ā 
Alfred went to get the first aid kit.
Damian with your slipper...
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BONUS:
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ā˜€ļø | Bat Family | ā˜€ļø
ā˜€ļø | Masterlists | ā˜€ļø
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antimony-medusa Ā· 1 year ago
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So what kind of a dad is q!Phil anyways?
So, Phil getting Tallulah and Chayanne to wear armour and learn how to fight. Also Bad doing this with Dapper, and the Brazilians trying to do this with Richas, and the french with Pomme, but when it gets discussed, it's mostly focusing on Phil because of the contrast of Wilbur not wanting his kids to have to fight. There's some really fun discussion that comes up with that!
And the interesting thing is that when we're trying to pull up other cultural touchpoints to compare phil-and-fighting-and-the-kids to, a lot of the other characters have very specific vibes, so to speak. I was in a discussion the other day where someone compared Phil in this with the dad in Supernatural, and him getting his sons to follow him on hunts. Cause he's a dad training his kids to fight, right? From a very young age? However, I don't think this is a perfect comparison, and I wanted to share the one that comes to mind for me, despite the fact that it deals with some pretty dark topics. This whole post deals with some dark topics, you might want to check the tags, just so you know.
Anyways, I never watched Supernatural, so I didn't do much more than think emoji in the moment when this comparison came up. But I checked in with friends who have watched it, and I think Phil QSMP and John Winchester Supernatural are acting from some pretty different places. John Supernatural is teaching his kids to fight because they have a duty and a lineage and have to help save the world, but at the same time there's this tragedy there that implies that he's so focused on his duty as a hunter that he's not seeing that maybe you don't need the kids for that. They could start when they were olderā€”or maybe they could not start this! He essentially conscripts them into a battle that shapes the course of their lives, as little warriors, and they never have a choice in it. And he's not above using them as bait, because they're warriors, right? The battle is so important? They want to be involved, they want this (of course they want this, you're their dad, and they believe you that this is important). He's a true believer.
Whereas Phil is faced with a world that actively and constantly wants to kill his kids, and he's trying to train them to defend themselves. He's trying to say that there's danger out there, you take care of yourself, I'm going to put myself on the line for you, but if I fail, if I'm not there, you won't be defenseless if it comes down to it. I have had my beef with fics that take on this topic, in fact, because I've seen people write Phil as using his kids as bait to get to the codes or forgetting his kids in his code battle, and that's not how I interpret the character motivattion and actions. For me, the way I see it, Phil is always thinking of how best to defend the eggs, and everything else is in service to this. He's a man with anxiety on an island that wants to kill his kids, not a warrior in an epic battle.
Does this mean that the eggs are gonna grow up and go to therapy about their childhood full of danger? Hell yeah they wll. This is not an ideal childhood. Butā€” and this is the crucial thingā€” they're going to grow up. Same with Dapper, same with Richas, same with Pommeā€” living your life under constant need to teleport out to safety is bad, objectively, but when the alternative is living in the moment until you die, I think the teleporting out is better, actually.
And the comparison that comes to mind for me, because of my personal experience, is not examples in media of parents training their kids to fight, but examples in media or in real life of parents dealing with serious and or terminal illness in kids. Cause that's what my family did. And boy is there resonance there.
I don't know of any parent of a kid with cancer who likes putting their kid through treatment. Chemotherapy sucks, radiation sucks, surgery sucks, immunotherapy sucks, none of this is good. I have seen this tear up parents (and siblings) inside. But it's better than letting their kids DIE, isn't it? And before you say well, obviously everyone is on the same page when it comes to things like chemotherapy, I have *seen* people go out there and post at cancer families about how they can't believe they're putting poison in their children's bodies when they should just eat better, etc. (This take reminds me strongly of the "she shoudln't wear armour cause she shouldn't have to fight" take about Tallulah.) Serious illness in kids forces you into terrible situations, but the only saving grace is that they're better than the alternative, you hope.
The only thing that makes me go ehhhhh maybe with Phil and the Mr Supernatural is him letting Chayanne fight, but Chayanne is a kid being hunted whose sister (also being hunted) is disabled, and this happens whether or not Chayanne is involved, and he wants to try and defend her so bad. I don't think saying "let her die if necessary, don't intervene" is going to be a conversation that ends up with less trauma, if you know what I mean. That is simply a situation that has no real win conditions out of it. At least this way he feels like he has some control? (Note: this is a bad situation, there's no getting around it.)
QSMP is so often a story about forces beyond our control trying to destroy us, and while Supernatural and its ilk also has that tone, within Supernatural there's at least a population that doesn't have to be part of the battle, so opting into the battle becomes on some level a choice, and involving children in that is also a choice, one that you can hold up to the standards of allowing children to have a childhood and go "is this ethical". On Quesadilla island, there's literally no opting out of this fight. There are malevolent forces that are directly trying to destroy you, destroy your children, and the question of allowing children to have a childhood has been effectively taken out of your hands. You simply have to do the best with the situation you have, and have a birthday party while keeping the armour on. And this reminds me much more strongly of situations like childhood cancer, than it does of cases in media of people concripting their children into battle.
In both cases children are trying to fight malevolent entities that want them dead, as pushed to fight by their parents, but boy, at least to me, the tone is pretty different. I think the question of "is it self defense or did you choose to be here" is pretty important.
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alanaartdream Ā· 2 months ago
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Adding some more sketches /drawings to my fairly odd parents Jimmy Timmy power hour Nicktoons unite fairy Timmy ideas
Now I love just LOVE everyone else au ideas of what happen to Timmy Turner before Fairly odd parents a wish happened and where he might turn up in a new wish series
So far not many are adding in the Jimmy Tommy power hour series/ episodes and the nicktoons unite games into those au so Iā€™ve been playing that into my au ideas of Fairy Timmy
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(( you can all ask questions about my ideas if you like I donā€™t mind; Iā€™m just busy with work/ life as well but donā€™t mind answering questions about this au; I might even draw something if I have the time (can ask about other interests I have I donā€™t mind that either)
Anyway a lot seem to think Dev is like Timmy and that well Peri could adopt Him like Wanda and Cosmo can with Timmy and well like how butch use to leave a lot of plot holes in the original fairly odd parents series there are a few plot holes I can see with this ( I mean it be great if peri could do that for Dev but well Dev a totally different kid to Timmy) for starters Timmy never ever wanted to rule over everyone at heart Timmy was a kid who just wanted to be loved and liked ( if you wanted to be friends with him and hang out play games/ watch movies and read comics heck even go on world saving adventures with him heā€™d LoVe that and think you were the coolest just for doing that (heck Timmy would of loved anime manga my hero academia and delicious in dungeon because those 2 have things like adventures heroes and making friends along the way heā€™s not interested in controlling everyone or having them worship the very grown he walks on nah thatā€™s not what Timmy wants he wants people to appreciate love and want to hang out with him) Timmy would be friends with Hazel in a heart beat; heck man in one of Jimmy Timmy power hour episodes Jimmy was surprised that Timmy was happy to hang out with him even though at the time they were both interested in Cindy even though he finds Jimmy to be a nerd he still likes to honestly hang out with Jimmy ( and even through his friends Chester and AJ ignore him first Timmy still willing to say sorry for ignoring them; heck man Jimmy a better friend to Timmy than AJ and Chester have been like sometimes you wonder why Timmy wants to be friends with them; theyā€™ve jilted him quite a few episodes heck not once did they try to make him feel better over all the crap Cocker or Vicky put him through (they just ignore all of the crap Timmy going through)
Only ones who truly appreciated and loved Timmy are the fairies so I can totally see him siding with fairies over Pixies & anti fairies and it would be so easy for him to let go of his human life because with his parents neglecting him/ the abuse from Vicky cocker and bullying he had to go through annndd his so called friends not really caring what happens to him unless they needed something from him? Yeah can totally see him going to live with the fairies and becoming a fairy for the rest of his life and never going back
Also donā€™t see Timmy growing up to be mean under his birth parents more like one of those people who cannot help try to people please everyone event though it sometimes hurts him because with friends/ family he had only seem interested in him unless he can do something to please them and the only one who truly liked him was Tootie so probably be married or dating her like heā€™d see she was only true friend and they both hate Vicky so probably move away from her to get some peace and quiet; toothie would make him get therapy to deal with abuse he suffer as a kid because sheā€™d understand; so sheā€™s likely to work with children and Timmy would likely be a lawyer/ work with children as well
In my au Timmy becomes a fairy and grows up a fairy under Wanda and Cosmo care (as well as all the fairies looking out for him)
Heā€™s been fairy worldā€™s hero from when he was just a godkid; he would help with the Da Rules book but also handle lawyers cases with kids and even keep on saving fairy world and universe with the nicktoons untie gang
Fairy world would trust the nicktoons unite gang for sure
Now dev he wants control he wants people to worship him so he can get his dadā€™s approval/attention; he doesnā€™t care who he has to step on to get there as long as he gets what he wants; he doesnā€™t care about being friends with others as much as Timmy AND Hazel do; itā€™s not until he realises that heā€™s never going get his dadā€™s love that he realises heā€™s been aweful and that to make friends you cannot step on everyone and force them to worship you to get people to like you
Jimmy and the nicktoons unite gang would be pissed off at this kid while Timmy feels sorry for him
And peri couldnā€™t adopt Dev though heā€™s still very inexperienced when dealing with children who need help (dev his first god kid and heā€™s fresh out fairy god parents training so heā€™s trying to do everything right by the book because heā€™s so new at it heā€™s soo not ready to be a full time father just yet; best he can be for Dev is his babysitter/ godparents)
Wanda & Cosmo have had soo soo many God kids before they got Timmy (and a lot of their past god kids use to abuse their magic to cause a great many wrongs; heck one even started one of the big world wars) love fell in Love with Timmy and just love how creative Timmyā€™s wishes are and they understood fully that most of the time Timmyā€™s wishes were a reflection of all the abuse; neglect and abandoning Timmy had to go through; they Had to take over being his parents because his birth parents they killed every plant under their own care (and every time Tommy went to camp and left pets in their care they killed it; also Tommy got gaslighted into saying sorry to all the zombie version of those pets when he wish for everything to live in his parents garden because his parents keep killing the garden when his parents were the ones who killed the pets and said the pets run away)
At this point I think Wanda Cosmo; heck even Jorginho acknowledges to all fairy kind that Timmyā€™s birth parents are not fit to raise kids (thank goodness they only had one; if they had any others Timmy wouldā€™ve had to step in and care for them so his parents wouldnā€™t end up killing them as well ) also Timmy seeing how sad Wanda and cosmo couldnā€™t even have a kid of their own thus why they became god parents together in the 1st place wishes Poof/peri into existence for them and how couldnā€™t they fall even more in love with this kid Timmy for giving them something they never could have before? At that point Timmy was particularly family so yeah they just couldnā€™t let him keep suffering anymore so would fairy adopt him and take him away
Also to add in some more happiness I believe Jimmy would love Hazel being they both love to study rocks ( fairy Timmy would find that adorable watching them talking about rocks)
The nicktoons unite gang would love her too being as sheā€™s quite a imaginative sweet kid (a bit more mature than Timmy was though so all of them try to let her be a kid around them feeling like sheā€™s probably made to be too grown up around her parents and not let to be just a kid too often)
Also my fairy of Felicity being the as sheā€™s an art fairy would probably love to try to draw paint Hazel being as itā€™s not often she gets to draw people with curly hair
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chevvsgotanumbrellatattoo Ā· 2 months ago
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I haven't even seen the full season, but from Tumblr alone (yall are troopers), I am devastated. Even my shitty fic from 2020 made more sense than this shit (before you ask, no I will not sharing /gen /nm. My writing pre-4-years-of-creative-writing-classes was AWFUL)
Also, the true ending was revealed to me last night in a dream:
Viktor owns and runs his bar. Sissy is alive and well. The two of them and Harlan (kid aged, like S2) live on a farm and go to the record store every Saturday. Mr. Pickles comes along each time. Harlan has no powers.
Ben was never in jail bc crypto currency can't exist when the best phone tech is a rotary phone??? Anyway, he goes to art school, hones his craft, and makes up with the family by inviting them to his first art show. He visits Klaus on Mondays for lunch.
Five works at the CIA. He truly loves solving big puzzles, he learned that from the Commission. After work, he comes home to human!Delores and helps her cook supper. They talk about science and how Five's boss keeps telling him to pick up a new hobby for stress relief. Delores smiles over her glass of wine and suggests picking his guitar back up.
Klaus lives in a 2 bedroom apartment with Dave. His OCD and anxiety is still rampant, but with Dave's support, he gets on meds (which Dave holds onto and administers for him since pills make him nervous) and gets a handle on it. He and Dave have movie nights every Friday and talk about tarot. Dave makes the best menudo Klaus has ever had.
Allison lives happily with Claire and Ray. She learns to manage her guilt and anger, apologizing at length to the family and vowing to herself to be a better person. Claire needs a better role model than the person she'd been. Ray and Allison take Claire for picnics with the at least one of the Uncles once a month. Claire looks forward to it every time.
Diego and Lila are happy. They have their 3 little nuggets and love them to pieces. Diego learns that his father-in-law has a friend at the archery range in the next town over. He drives over with him one day and decides to pick up knives again. It takes a long time to make peace with the fact that his aim will never be marigold-perfect, but Diego is entirely happy with his progress.
Lila is ELATED to have her parents. She talks to them daily and plays Twister with little Grace and the twins while her Mom and Dad take turns spinning the Twister wheel. She goes to the gym to scratch the itch of adventure she sometimes finds herself needing and talks to Diego when something is bothering her. Diego does the same. They call it 'Thick-Headed Therapy Thursdays' and they get ice cream afterwards.
Luther lives in a lovely house with Sloane. He studies space and cooking at the local college and helps Sloane kickstart her fashion designs (based off when she made her KILLER wedding dress in like,, no time at all). They have a small dog named Moon-Moon McGee. Sloane keeps her moon-rock wedding ring safe in a small box in her nightstand.
Grace works at a daycare and is the favorite of kids and grownups alike. She visits Diego and Lila on Sundays and makes little Grace and her siblings pancakes and chocolate milk for breakfast (Lila and Diego partake in this as well).
Pogo works at the library. He prides himself on neat bookshelves and loves when people ask him for help. He calls everyone "Master," "Miss," or even "Mx." and asks politely for preference and pronouns before doing so.
None of them have their powers.
Reginald Hargreeves still has a heart attack and kaputs. Abigail never bothers the Brellies.
The family all make it to little Grace's birthday party. The piƱata breaks when she hits it. The cake is gone within an hour. Little Grace and Harlan are damn near inseparable. She makes Mr. Pickles hats for the holidays, much to Harlan's delight.
Case in point, they're all so happy and love each other! They each go to therapy and work out their own issues and don't take it out on each other!! The kids love all their aunts and uncles!! Everyone wins!! (Except Reggie bc FUCK YOU).
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kitofawriter Ā· 4 months ago
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The end is near! LMK season five episodes 9-10 spoilers below the cut!!
Oooh boy Iā€™m gonna regret watching these right before I have to go be a functional human being with my family.
Mac stepping in last moment when even SWK was at a loss on what to do?!
Mac grabbing MK was a really cool sequence!
Macā€™s fighting him to keep him away!!! Also itā€™s a little hypocritical considering he started this season with the self sacrificing.
ā€œIt doesnā€™t always need to be you!ā€ Mac having some pre journey flashbacks but with a very different reason.
ā€œWhoā€™d you make a deal with?ā€ ā€œA deal?ā€ Iā€™m sensing more Mac backstory next seasonā€¦
Bite him Mei!!
ā€œIf youā€™re sorry, then you know itā€™s the wrong thing to do, son!ā€ Pigsy stop tearing my heart out challenge.
ā€œHere goes nothing, make it countā€ what do you MEAN?!
Mac what did you do!!?
Nezha mech!!
Mei will mess you up!!
SWK tackling MK!!
Sick villain design
ā€œDonā€™t make me do thisā€ the parallels!!
ā€œNo kid, donā€™t make meā€ oooh! Heā€™s not holding back now!!
The call backs to the first episode! MK and SWK fight but not like so many people theorized!! Iā€™m screaming!
Is he binding MK to the mountain with the staff like he did DBK?!?!
Monkeys stop self sacrificing challenge
The fillet!!
The voice acting!!!
Everyone getting to be BA!!
ā€œWukongā€ Mac, as far as you know MK was the only option here, why are you more worried about SWK?
Lego stop having main characters being basically dead and talking to the most powerful being challenge.
ā€œDid itā€¦did it work?ā€
Heā€™s so relieved!! MK!
ā€˜I mean theyā€™ll be reincarnatedā€™ that was NOT the deal!!
Last episode here we go!!
ā€œCause heā€™s the monkie kid!!ā€ Genuinely a great theme song!!
Changā€™e! I was wondering when youā€™d show up for that shot!
Oh god, I paused on a shot of Pigsy crying. I am not okay.
SWK pleading!!
ā€œThere are none in the world strong enough to bear the stonesā€ gestures to MK and his friends.
MK believes too much in his friends to let it end here!!
ā€œIt shouldnā€™t be up to you, and it definitely definitely shouldnā€™t be up to me!ā€ Honestly Iā€™d trust that choice to MK.
ā€œEven if it all does ends in pain, that pain is ours!ā€
Hey has anyone read Stromlight Archives? Cause MK and Dalinar should talk.
Iā€™m so proud of my boi!
ā€œNa-uh, Iā€™m the Monkie Kid!ā€
Monkey MK!!
Catch him!
ā€œI got you!ā€ The voice acting! Iā€™m gonna cry!
Group hug!
Donā€™t cry MK!!
ā€œTang, itā€™s okayā€
SWK reaching out to Mac!!!
Conveniently color coordinated stones for the conveniently color coordinated cast
*Weā€™re all in this together from HSM starts playing in the background*
Bai He cameo!
Taking from she-raā€™s book and solving everything with the power of rainbow
Mac is yellow from SWK, the shadowpeach shippers are screaming.
Flying bark reference!!
ā€œI donā€™t wanna loose youā€
Iā€™m in tears
Mac with weird chaos powers now? Also Mac searching the underworld for answers??
Nezha helping rebuild Heaven!!
They made a party for MK
Chaos staff! And only Mac noticed?!
Tang speech!!
My only big complaint: Porty MK did not show up.
That was so good! Not sure it topped season 3 (my favorite season) but it was really good!! The Sandy episode is still my favorite just because I love the big blue guy, but it was all really enjoyable! I understand some peoples complaint about the animation, but we went from a S rank studio, there wasnā€™t any way it was gonna stay that good with a switch. And they kept with a lot of the style really well. (The rigging was a little rough sometimes but Iā€™m sure with time itā€™ll get better, if not then Iā€™ll be disappointed). Anyway, let MK rest, get him some therapy, tell Mac to communicate because I feel like thatā€™ll be an issue next season, and get all three Monkeyā€™s to stop self sacrificing please.
Now I can go unblock tags!!
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wormdebut Ā· 1 year ago
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omg for the spotify wrapped list......... 85?
Hi!! Thank you for sending in a number! Number 85 on my Spotify Wrapped is Sowing Season by Brand New!
----
'You're here Eddie! You're awake and you have your whole life ahead of you while Max is fucking fighting for her life. So get up and do something! We all went through it Eds, and I know you're hurting. God, Eddie, I know. But, the kids miss you--hell man, I--' Steve's voice cracks. 'I miss you and it doesn't even make sense to me, but I do. We are all here for you man--call me when you figure that out.'
It runs through his head on repeat. It always does. That was sometime late April. Today is June 4th. Today is June 4th and Max is awake and in a wheel chairā€¦just like Eddie is.
Max had a hard time at first, once she woke up, curled in on herself. Kept things inā€¦just like Eddie did. He was shocked when he saw her that first time in May, wheelchair and all, throwing rocks at his new government funded trailer window. They worked through things together. But she was really the only person he had spoken to since--all of it--besides Uncle Wayne.
Max went through hell and is rebuilding, going to physical therapy, seeing her friends, finding the ability to laugh again. Just like Eddieā€¦isn't.
But her legs were brokenā€¦they would heal. Those damn bats had gone and taken one of Eddies--
Eddie shakes his head, unruly curls falling over his eyes. He needs to stop comparing. He needs to stop pouting and whining. Max has to be tired of itā€¦Wayne has to be exhausted by it. Eddie can't do this anymore. He needs to get his life back.
'We are all here for you man--call me when you figure that out.'
He needs to call Steve.
Eddie will never get used to having to wheel around everywhereā€¦hopefully he won't have to for long though. Owens had said something last month about paying for a prosthetic for Eddie whichā€¦well, it fucking terrified him, but he was turning over a new leaf. This morning, when he woke up, the same as he had the day before and the day before that--he had been ready to wallow just like he had been doing since he woke up in that damn hospital bed, down a leg and with Wayne and Steve Harrington staring at him with wide eyes. But, what Steve had said in April ran through his mindā€¦like it had been since it happened and today? It stuck.
Wayne was out. He'd left a note on the fridge. Eddie would never be able to repay Wayne for all the love and patience he had poured into his mess of a nephew. But, Wayne wouldn't have let him, even if he had a way.
Eddie is lucky. Eddie is alive and he has been wasting away feeling sorry for himself. He sighs, reaching up for the phone. Being in a damn wheelchair made him feel nine years old and four feet tall.
Eddie holds the phone to his ear, reading another sticky note. One that Steve had left behind when they had last seen each other.
His hands aren't shaking as he reaches up to dialā€¦they aren't.
He's trying to control his breathing as he listens to the ringing through the line.
"Thanks for calling Family Video, this is Steve. How can I help you?"
Eddie lets out a breath he didn't even know he was holding. "Stevie?"
Surely, Eddie isn't imagining things when he hears Steve take a sharp inhale of the other end of the line.
"Eddie?" He asks. His voice is soft, just like it had been when Eddie had woken up terrified and confused in the hospital.
"You told me--you told me to call when--when I figured it out. I wanna get better Steve. I need to be better." Eddie says. He'll deny the shakiness in his voice until he dies.
Steve laughs, and it's bright and Eddie wouldn't mind hearing that sound for the rest of his--anyway Steve laughs. "I've been waiting for your call." Eddie can practically hear Steve's smile. He can't help but smile too.
"I'm sorry, I kept you waiting big boy." ----
"I'm on the mend, at least now I cay say that I am trying."
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frownyalfred Ā· 1 year ago
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*busts down your doors* HEY! Long ask for ya
okay so I was rereading your fic where EMS showed up because Dick couldnā€™t flip on the trampoline (rip) and it got me thinking about routine trauma.
So hereā€™s the thing: I am not EMS. I know three people who are EMS, but my extent of EMS experience comes from one (1) ride along and lurking on EMS subreddits. Those guys are a hoot. Great memes. Anyways.
A comment stuck out to me: ā€œYou havenā€™t truly lived the job until youā€™re eating a gas station burrito next to a dead bodyā€. Iā€™ve seen a bunch like that. Nonchalance and dark humor because well, thatā€™s their job. Gore is the norm. Sure, depending on the area, your usual calls might just be lift assists, but other areas are neck deep in gang violence and violent crime.
A pretty common post on that subreddit is also, sadly, ā€œI just got a call thatā€™s never bothered me before but all of a sudden Iā€™m brokenā€ or ā€œIā€™ve never had a problem running this type of call before but all of a sudden it just hit me.ā€ Delayed trauma is a bitch. Someone pointed out that if a civilian saw a fatal car accident with multiple corpses, theyā€™d be in therapy and given support and itā€™d be a huge deal. With EMS, theyā€™re just expected to deal with it. (EMS mental health is getting better- there are helplines and resources and first responder focused therapies- but itā€™s still a developing field)
ANYWAYS, now that Iā€™ve given you a crash course on the EMS mental health crisis (someone should really write a feature on EMS in Gotham those fuckers would be crazy and I love them already), my point is, how would this apply to the bats? Seeing bodies is treated as very much the norm to them, but do you think it ever justā€¦ catches up? The impact of seeing corpses day after day? Do you think they have to fake being fine and tough during those times because well, ā€œeverybody else in the family is fine with it, Iā€™m not going to be a liability/burden/weak/etcā€
Do you think Bruce, the goddamn batman, who shouldnā€™t be ruffled by anything, ever just feels something crack inside when he looks at a little boy who could have grown up healthy and strong like his Jason, had (Bruce) someone been there for him? and then he canā€™t work cases with kids for a week?
This is such an excellent ask, thank you so much for gracing my inbox with it!
It's a very good question. I'm also on a lot of those subreddits (needed to do some research for that fic) and the discussion in those forums and on TikTok is like you described, a kind of practiced desensitization to all gore and suffering in order to survive in their job.
What I've seen from those discussions (and my EMT friend) is an almost sub-conscious trend where they allow themselves the "thing" that breaks them, and they push a lot of that trauma and emotion onto that thing. Like an EMT saying they don't do kids, or they don't do gunshots to the eye, etc. And they'll sob like a baby on those calls, while remaining stone-faced and level-headed through the triple homicide.
I'm just theorizing here, but I imagine the Batfamily uses similar coping skills -- pushing all that trauma and suffering into a box which cracks only under limited, defined circumstances. And they break or snap only under those conditions, because, subconsciously, they allowed themselves to.
So yes, Bruce might be 99% fine with most of the bodies he sees, but there might be a little boy who has a detail (like Jason's dark hair) that just slams into him out of nowhere.
PTSD and trauma literally change the structure of the brain. Individuals react differently to trauma after that, but there does appear to be a "desensitizing" effect with repeated trauma, as the body tries to compensate.
I agree that the Gotham EMTs must be some crazy motherfuckers. They probably deal with 6x the normal shit EMTs deal with in other cities. They probably take on a lot more trauma and burn out quicker than other EMTs, too.
Anyone else have thoughts on this? I admit I don't cover PTSD explicitly in a lot of my fics.
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princessamericachavez Ā· 2 years ago
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I think a lot about every time 911 shows us Eddie understanding a little more about Buck in real time...Ā 
(after cut because this got long but bare with me)
Like, the first season should be the most obvious, with the earthquake eps and the next one showing Eddieā€™s surprise/reaction to Buckā€™s immediate unconditional support when it comes to Christopher. You can literally see something click for him in Stuck, first when Buck clears Chris spending the day with them with Bobby, then when he introduces Carla to them.Ā 
But then you have new and interesting glimpses at moments when Eddie found another piece of Buckā€™s puzzle. In Kids Today, for example, we see that Eddieā€™s approach to Buckā€™sĀ ā€œsulkingā€ is rather closed off, almost cold, and itā€™s one of the very first time we hear him mention his fatherā€™s toxic masculinity preachings... but when Hen points out that Buck doesnā€™t have much outside of work, you can literally SEE the second it clicks in for Eddie. Not that Buck doesnā€™t have anyone, but that he doesnā€™t know he does. That he doesnā€™t understand. Which is why he brings Christopher over. Not to teach a lesson, but to show him heā€™s wrong and he has people who love him regardless.
While the whole lawsuit arc was probably illuminating, for me the real highlight when it comes to Eddie understanding Buck a little bit better is in the famous kitchen scene. Before they get all flirty with the sexual tension... we see Buck ask if maybe Eddie is still angry at him, if maybe Eddie wanted to fight/hurt him, and while Eddie pokes fun of Buck making this about himself, I think itā€™s a very big moment when he realizes how deep the self-loathing runs, that Buck cannot just accept the fact that he was forgiven, that he still things that Eddie wanted to/would under any circumstances hurt him. So he makes a point to sayĀ ā€œI wouldnā€™t do thatā€, matter of factly (even if he later has to sidestep it with a joke because this is pre-therapy Eddie after all).Ā 
Which of course later leads to The One That Got Away and Buckā€™s traumas shining through his relationship with Red and you can see how adamant Eddie is that no, Buck is not being left behind and no he isnā€™t losing the 118 family, and heā€™s annoyed when the others arenā€™t as quick to reassure him. But this is all part of Eddie-understanding-Buck-arc in s3 (remember the post-embolism thing i mentioned above). Which, of course, later becomes a punch in Whatā€™s Next? when Abby is back and Eddie sees real time one of the people whoā€™ve filled Buck with abandonment and scars. Buck who, at this point, fyi, Eddie has already chosen as the person he trusts most to look after his son in case he dies.
Anyway, s4 is short but thereā€™s treasures like Whatā€™s Your Grievance and Buck Begins, in which Eddie very clearly sees the roots of Buckā€™s pain and is already quick to validate his feelings and offer him a shoulder and space to vent. This Eddie is far more prepared than his counterpart at the beginning of s3 to see and understand Buck and offer his support openly. Which is what leads to the shooting and, more importantly, Buck once again acting like heā€™s expendable. And, because Eddieā€™s had this whole journey so far, heā€™s at a place where he can see better than the other characters that Buck doesnā€™t think himself invincible, he thinks himself disposable. But you can see the confusion in his face when Buck says it the first time, the moment ā€”againā€” when he processes this new and painful information about his best friend. And he, once again, takes action with words of affirmation to show Buck that, again, heā€™s wrong.Ā 
Now, by s5 Buck and Eddie know each other pretty well so thereā€™s fewer surprises on Eddieā€™s side (s5, after all, itā€™s Buckā€™s turn to go through the journey of truly seeing Eddieā€™s scars and pain and being there for him) but I think about Home And Away, and how Eddie needs to do a double-take after he jokes that Chimney will not forgive Buck. Because itā€™s a joke, itā€™s meant to be, but the hurt in Buckā€™s eyes is so clear ā€”because, again, he thinks himself easily discarded as soon as he screws up onceā€” that he looks genuinely shocked that he has to clarify the joke in the first place. S5 keeps telling us Eddie already sees Buck, in little things like recognizing how Buck wants to fix things and how he might struggle with lack of control when he canā€™t help.Ā 
Then s6 doubles down on the idea that Eddie already knows Buck so deeply,Ā ā€œitā€™s clearly bothering youā€, knowing the happiness convention call was hard on him and teaming up with Chim to cheer Buck and Hen, picking up on his changes in habits and the fact that he might be hiding something, not joining the schedule to check on him after the lightning, being the one who offers the right space for Buck to open up... and then thereā€™s the cemetery scene and thereā€™s another DING moment when a new piece falls and Eddie realizes that Buck has changed, how could he not, and heā€™s now trying to catch up with whatever is wrong or new. And even then, he knows Buck enough to reassure him that he doesnā€™t need to pretend for anyone elseā€™s sake.Ā 
Anyway, I donā€™t know where Iā€™m going with this, except for the fact that I love the journey these two have gone through and how weā€™ve gotten to see on screen (rather than just assume or be told) the moments that have slowly morphed Eddieā€™s perception of Buck from the cocky kid from day 1 to the rather hurt and vulnerable and open hearted man he truly is.Ā 
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wildpeachfarm Ā· 8 months ago
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As someone who was in an abusive relationship for years I want to tell people that almost no one is irredeemable. I thought so as well for a long time, but then had a sudden change in view due to my absusive ex. And this is not to defend Wilbur, I couldn't care less for that guy as I never was a fan, but for people who tell abusers to kill themselves.
I was with my abuser for 5 years, he started being abusive after one year in our relationship. The reason I escaped said relationship was due to a good friends sudden passing and him mocking me for mourning and trying to stop myself from attending the funeral. It was like a kick in the face of 'You need to get away from here', after being manipulated into staying in the relationship for years.
Anyway, I escaped and started a new live away from my abuser. Six years down the road I found him on social media and saw him being engaged with another person. Due to my past I immediately contacted the person to warn them before actually marrying.
Just a day later I got an answer which changed a lot in how I see people. The new partner of my ex KNEW about hist past. Apparently he had told them about it a few months into the relationship. And they told me that my ex, a few weeks after I ended the relationship, started to go to therapy after family and friends kinda forced him to.
And thanks to said therapy he now understands what he did was wrong and has not returned to his abusive way in years. The new partner also said that, should he ever try it, they will leave immediately and only return when he aknowledges what he did. Apparently he still goes to therapy regularly and has been doing wonderful and has admitted that he had treated me wrong but couldn't face me due to knowing how much he hurt me.
So yeah. Abusive people CAN change as long as they have people who help them along the way and as long as they understand what they did was wrong and seek professional help. I don't think Wilbur is irredeemable when it comes to being abusive and I understand when other victims of DA see it differently, but I also understand when some people hope that he actually goes to therapy and, at some point, actually apologizes for what he did to Shelby. I can see a future where he, as a better person, can at least return to doing music and people being able to listen to it without feeling horrible for doing so.
Thank you for this anon, I think this is some great insight and I appreciate you sharing :)
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