#anyways yeah. stream's going to be a little earlier today since im going to an event afterwards

[todayisafridaynight]

i just remembered that i planned on streaming like an hour or so earlier today at like 2:10PM but i also cant feel my limbs

[markatoto]

you're one of the few of my fav streamers i actually get to watch live due to timezones which i appreciate you for. but, i also wish you'd treat yourself better and end your streams earlier

i super appreciate this anon, this is definitely very very real. i actually had a discussion about this to my friends late last night concerning my workload of streams and the particularly unhealthy habits ive developed as a (for lack of better term) "endurance" streamer. it's tough because it is like... my main source of income, so i do often find that i have to stream A LOT in order to make ends meat. most times i find that when i am streaming for like 7 hours+ i am just Having Fun with the game im playing and i tend to lose track of time, but if you notice that the past several weeks theres been a noticeable uptick of my streaming days since late august-early september. i'm going to speak real here so be fore-warned: i do not make a lot of money as a streamer. i dont think anyone does. in today's climate, i am making Just Enough to pay my bills, rent, and groceries. as long as that minimum threshold is being met, im usually quite happy to continue on with what i do. however, for me, entertaining people online with funny streams has never been about the monetary value of it all. since day ONE, it's never been. but, speaking as an adult who lives alone in a big city, it's also an unfortunate reality that i have to bring to the forefront. it's why the rent/bills tip bar is on the screen so often. honestly, it kind of bums me out to bring it to the forefront so often, but that's a conversation for another day. however, i am definitely afraid that if i am not Streaming Enough, then i won't be able to make my monthly rent and bills. that is not to say that i dont enjoy streaming or that i am unhappy with my current schedule (quite the opposite, i love streaming a little TOO much LOL) - every day i thank the stars in the sky that i get to do what i REALLY want to do in this day and age. but, i guess the problem i'm having is just striking that balance. i really dont give myself a lot of time for a break and, to say that i am on the cusp of burning out is... not to far off from the truth. i do want to make it abundantly clear however: i am currently NOT in burn out mode, but i'm sure the worry is that i will eventually reach that point sooner than later, yeah? anyways, just a couple of thoughts to think about while i write out this whole thing. i'm okay, i will be doing okay, and for the foreseeable future, i will be fine. if anything, if you are worried: the best thing yall could do is just show up for the streams and have fun! that's all i could ever ask. as long as youre having fun, thats all that matters to me. if you laughed and clapped and enjoyed yourselves in any of the stuff i do, then i super appreciate that! thank you!

[tarosin]

the great adventures of y/n and ranboo

this is an extra part to the great adventures series

summary: part two to the angst imagine (the not so great adventures of y/n tommy tubbo jack and ranboo) it��s a happier ‘ending’ please read what is written in bold

this is an “alternative ending” around 15 years into the future this doesn’t mean this is actually how the series is going to end im writing it now and including it as part of series as their friendship is already established i can confirm y/n and the group are going to have a happy ending when the series eventually comes to an end this also does not mean the series is anywhere near the end i plan on continuing the series as vlogs come out, i feel the need to confirm this now love between y/n and ranboo in this imagine is completely platonic

it had been about a month since you last streamed whereas ranboo continued to stream a few days after the fallout as he wanted to make sure you were going to be okay. even though ranboo knew this huge fallout would eventually happen, it still hurt him, especially since he knew there was no way to prevent it, the four of you in the same house mixed with the stress of being some of the most-watched content creators made living rather difficult. it was like walking on eggshells as you didn’t want to interrupt someone's stream, then there was the additional stress of obsessive fans finding out where the four of you lived, you still remember that day very vividly. you were sat in between tubbo and ranboo watching the office whilst Tommy was in an interview when you received a message from your mod.

Chris: hey y/n I received this message earlier I don’t want to scare you, but maybe get the locks changed. someone sent a message claiming this is your address *image of message from ‘fan’*

it didn’t take long for tubbo and ranboo to receive a message from their mods saying the same thing

“holy shit...”

“chances are Tommy has the message too. we shall go check around the house when Tommy is done with the interview.”

luckily no one ever showed up to the house, but the fact some people were so obsessed to the point they found your address was enough to put everyone in the house on edge. and now it was just you and ranboo in the house. you didn’t feel safe as even though ranboo promised to not let anything happen, you didn’t wanna risk it.

“we should move. there’s no point in having such a big house for two people, what are we going to use the extra space for heh? hide and seek with people who have our address. no thank you. I say we move leave this mess behind and start completely over, hell I’d feel safer in the us and that’s saying something”

ranboo agreed the house didn’t have the happiest memories attached to it anymore, it hurt walking past the hallway as it would bring back the memory of him crying into the crook of y/ns neck whilst tubbo left the house.

“let’s do it, I’ll do an early stream then we can look for houses. go take a shower. I’ll stay close to the door so you’re safe, then you can stay in my room whilst I stream, you can join me if you would like.”

“you’re being very protective all of a sudden...let me guess you got the message from our mods announcing the obsessive fans are at it again?”

“go take a shower.”

“no.”

ranboo ended up picking you up, carried you to the bathroom and turned the shower on before putting you on your feet.

“quick shower I’ll see you later.”

and with that he left the room shutting the door behind him, 30 minutes later you got changed and followed ranboo to his room ready to join him whilst he streams

“hey boo, can I join you? I kinda wanna get into streaming again.”

“I'm so glad you asked, I was going to do a face cam stream, if that’s okay?”

“of course.”

you grabbed his mask and glasses whilst he locked the door so you were both safe. “here you go.”

“thank you.”

the pair of you started the stream and it was honestly going well, you were having so much fun you forgot about all the negative things currently going on, you began to understand why ranboo continued streaming as for those 2-4 hours of streaming it felt as though everything was back to normal. 3 hours later the two of you ended stream and Twitter went crazy. tweets ranged from fans talking about how ranboo was streaming with you, how Tommy was in chat, and how tubbo was modding as people who mentioned anything about their address being leaked were banned by tubbo. the one thing that caught ranboos eye was fan art and a picture of you both from the stream captioned ‘they’re platonic soulmates your honour’ ranboo went as far to like, retweet and comment on it.

ranaltboo: glad you liked the stream it was great having y/n back, think I might make them play tattletail next stream

definitelynoty/n: isn’t that the Furby game that terrified you in 2021? bring it on boo!

Twitter went crazy over this interaction, you had finally come back to social media after months of being inactive, and it looked like you were here to stay. a month later you and ranboo moved out of the house and sold it to your aunt and her wife and their three adopted children, you explained the situation and even changed the locks for them all before they moved in.

“Please do tell us if anyone shows up who shouldn’t be. we changed the locks as you were aware- oh hello little one.”

you noticed one of their children decided to cling onto your leg

“I like your hair it’s colourful!”

“Indeed it is.”

“WOAH A GIANT!”

the little girl let go of your leg and ran to ranboo asking to be picked up, unsure of what to do he looked towards you. however, you were too busy laughing about the fact he was compared to a giant.

“I'm so sorry uh if you want to pick her up you can, you don’t have to.”

“pick me up, tall man... I want to be taller!”

ranboo ended up standing next to you with an arm around your waist whilst the child sat on his shoulders happily playing with his hair.

“ranboo do not drop that child.”

“I didn't- I didn't plan on it y/n.”

eventually, it was time to leave and the child reluctantly let go of ranboo.

“bye-bye!! hope to see you soon!”

soon enough you were at a smaller house, far away from the old house, leaving behind the negative feelings. it could only get better, a week later the pair of you had settled into the new house, it finally felt like home. you and ranboo were now streaming full time again, safe to say the two of you were thriving and closer than ever.

“so I’m thinking if I hit the sub-goal today I’ll let chat pick what colour I dye my hair.”

“make it higher, and I’ll let you cut my hair.”

“Are you being serious? oh my god!”

a few minutes later you took to Twitter to announce you were going live.

y/n: kidnapping children in the sims with ranboo psst check the subgoal.

within 20 minutes you had hit the sub-goal, chat ended up picking another random neon colour for your hair.

“right hair dye and the cutting stream will be this weekend, now let’s go back to kidnapping.”

tubbo, tommy, and jack felt awful for what happened and went back to the house where you used to live, hoping to see you there so they could apologise, tubbo knocked on the door only to be met by a young child.

“my sister watches you on twitch!”

“oh that’s lovely.. are y/n and ranboo here?”

an older woman came to the door.

“oh no, I’m sorry dear they both moved out, but they left this box and said to give it to you if you returned.”

“do you know where they moved to?”

“I'm sorry dear, I'm not allowed to tell you that information for safety reasons.”

“I understand, thanks anyway.”

they ended up going back to jacks where the three of them had been staying.

“We should open the box.”

tubbo opened the box and emptied the items onto the floor, inside was the rocks y/n handed tubbo from every trip, photos of the group, a necklace y/n had gifted to Tommy a day before the argument, and a hat y/n had taken from jack during a trip to a zoo.

“what the fuck!”

“holy shit!”

“they really kept all these in hopes we would come back?”

“and now we’re too late.”

it was now the weekend you and ranboo were ready to stream, you stood leaning on ranboo who was significantly smaller than you as you lowered the chair he sat on.

“starting stream...now.”

after the starting soon intro played, you explained what was happening to any new viewers or people who didn’t watch the stream.

“so I’m about to become Edward Scissorhands...I love that film can we watch it later?”

“yeah mhm sure!”

you didn’t know this but your ex best friends were watching and ever so often would show up in the chat.

“so boo, what are we doing with your hair today?”

“just a trim please darling?”

“This is y/ns hairdressers you get what I’m capable of!”

you ended up doing a pretty good job of cutting ranboos hair, even he was impressed.

“I didn’t doubt you for a minute!”

“mhm sure thing please don’t mess up my hair tall one!”

soon enough you had the dye on. 45 minutes later you left to wash it off, leaving ranboo to entertain stream,

“chat I think I missed some of their hair it’s okay, I own scissors, I’ll just cut it.. speaking of they did a great job, didn't they? I honestly expected them to mess up.”

a few minutes later you joined ranboo again and spent the next few hours talking with chat. tubbo, tommy, and jack stayed the entire time. they loved the fact you and ranboo were able to stay close after what happened, Tommy noticed you were still wearing the necklace he got you many years ago and spammed them chat with him tubbo and jack

Tommy: THEYRE WEARING THE NECKLACE!!

jack: so what? they clearly don’t wanna talk to us.

tubbo: shut up listen to them.

“chat why are we spamming platonic soulmates?”

“they’ve been saying it all over Twitter, look on trending y/n.”

you started to blush slightly at all the amazing artwork soon enough the stream came to an end, after saying goodbye the pair of you sat together going through fan art. unfortunately the one that caught your eye was this one twitter post where the artist had created a drawing of a piece of paper with you, ranboo, tommy, tubbo, and jack, however the paper was ripped separating you and ranboo from the others, captioned ‘it was never meant to be’ this clearly upset ranboo as he took off his mask and glasses placing them on the desk before going straight to his bed.

“boo…are you okay?”

“Are you tired of me? are you going to leave next?”

“what? no of course not! I could never get tired of you, why do you ask?”

“everyone else has left..i thought they cared about us, i knew it would happen eventually and i couldn’t stop it, i’m sorry, y/n, please don’t hate me.”

you sat on the edge of the bed looking down at the floor,

“come here.”

you watched him roll over to face you.

“you know there’s no one else who I'd rather spend the rest of my life with, right…if i hated you i wouldn’t have moved house with you. it’s not your job to fix everything and make everything better, you’re a streamer for christ sake not a therapist.”

“i guess so.. can we watch that thing you were on about for ages.”

“edward scissorhands? “

“mhm!”

you could tell he wanted to be distracted, so you agreed and put the film on, towards the end you began to get upset due to how overwhelming everything was.

“Why are you crying?”

“poor Edward.”

“come here.”

ranboo pulled you into a hug you laid there crying into his chest, he knew that wasn’t the reason you were crying, but he wasn’t about to make you tell him, luckily it didn’t take long for you to stop crying as ranboo quickly distracted you.

“ranboo..”

“yeah y/n?”

“I feel bad i didnt realise how much pressure was on you whilst everyone was arguing.”

“Hey, it’s okay, is that what’s upsetting you?”

“mhm.”

“don’t blame yourself, i’d do it all over again to keep you safe and happy..then again i didn’t do a good job on keeping you happy.”

“you did..you were always there for me even when i gave up on social media, you shared your room with me after i started receiving creepy messages from that obsessed fan, hell you even went on adventures with me even though it was clear you hadn’t been sleeping, just so we could spend time together and forget about what was happening. you mean a lot to me boo.”

“i love you.”

“i love you too bud, I’m tired.”

“go to sleep, it’s been a long day.”

“okay.”

“you just staying there?”

“yes.”

“oh, oh okay, goodnight.”

about a year later the two of you were still thriving, ranboo got you a promise ring a few months earlier.

“heh what’s this for?”

“as your best friend i promise to stay by your side and keep you safe and make sure that you’re happy, in other words you're stuck with me till the end of time.”

“boo…i really don’t know what to say.. thank you so much!”

“you don’t have to say anything!”

you ended up going out to buy him a promise ring when he started the stream and decided to take your cousins with you now that they were a little older. ranboo was doing a facecam stream when the door slammed open revealing you covering your three younger cousins ranboo not realising you were hiding them from the camera, instinctively stood up covering the camera

“ranboooooo!”

“yes you three and y/n ,what do you need?”

“we would like to watch a film!”

“Okay, i’ll go put one on, y/n will you entertain chat?”

“sure thing boo boy!”

once they left you sat fixing your hair forgetting you were wearing the ring chat noticed this and went crazy, so did Tommys group with tubbo and jack.

tubbo: that’s a ring, right??

jack: yeah looks like it.

Tommy: holy shit I always thought if anyone was gonna get married it would be tubbo and y/n, they were inseparable.

tubbo: hilarious.

jack: it could just be a ring, no one mentioned marriage tommy!

Tommy: we should congratulate them.

jack: at least let them explain fucking hell.

soon enough ranboo came back into the room,

“sorry one of them found it hilarious to steal my glasses...”

“they’re little shits i swear to god but i love them.”

you both noticed chat going crazy and both looked at each other before laughing.

“i'm sorry, i can’t take you serious in the mask and glasses!”

“i can’t take you serious with neon hair, but here we are!”

“rude!”

you and ranboo quickly put an end to the rumours,

“no we’re not engaged or married, it is a promise ring. no they’re not our children, they’re y/ns cousins they just spend a lot of time here..chat stop calling me and y/n parents and comparing us to phil that’s not..that’s not how it works okay!”

“parent arc!”

“y/n, don’t encourage them!”

“it’s a little bit funny!”

soon enough the bit came to an end and eventually ranboo ended the stream.

“hey boo look what i got you”

you handed him a little black box, inside was a ring similar to yours

“i promise to always stick around and be here for you”

“oh my god”

ranboo tackled you into a hug thanking you several times for his rings. you and ranboo were living your best life meanwhile jack, tommy, and tubbo were stuck dealing with the guilt of what happened, but they’re weren’t giving up that easy. they wanted you both back, that’s when you received a notification, tommyinnit has sent you a message request: hey y/n can we talk..please?

taglist

@dumb-chaotic-bi-energy @uselesssapphickitten @l0ver0fj0y @etheriaaly @xx-smiley-xx @hawarun @kylobensgirl @cawcaw-pretty-thing @reverse-iak @renleicrashed @augustine-is-joy @c1loudee

[joyaphoria]

the five chances you give him (5)

pairing: suna x f!reader

note: this is the last chapter! i hope you all enjoyed :)

summary: suna knew that he was doing something wrong, but he refused to acknowledge it. therefore, you slowly dropped five major hints for him, hoping that he would notice them and take action to fix your broken relationship. suna really did notice them, he just didn’t figure out in time that you were actually going to leave.

series masterlist | directory

© 𝘫𝘰𝘺𝘢𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘢

part five: rin became rintaro; then it became suna

"oh baby... nobody said that it was going to be easy." mei cooed, her voice softer than usual. she repeatedly kissed the top of your head as you cried into her lap.

"i k-know but.." you spoke through your sobs, snot along your sleeves. "i-i really hoped t-that he would ch-change.."

it's been just over two months since you've started changing your behaviour around rin, but he didn't seem to react to it—no, he may have changed, but only a bit. it wasn't enough.

you knew that this was unavoidable, and that it had to be done. the longer it takes for you to get this over with, the longer it will take for you to get over it.

so when mei sent you home that night, she reassured you that it will all be worth it in the end, and that you will find someone better.

but the fact that he was waiting for you at the same table that you used to wait at, every single night, didn't help at all.

"where were you?" he asked, his voice laced with concern.

you stood there for a second with your shoes still on, and folded over with laughter.

his heart flutters. whens the last time you laughed in front of him?

"sorry," you sniffled through the laughter, the aftermath from crying earlier doing you no justice. "it's just that i used to sit in that same chair, waiting for you to come home, you know?"

hesitating for a moment, he decided on getting up and walking over to you, although he didn't know what to do.

"y/n." he's looking down at you now, resisting the urge to reach out and take hold of your hands.

"rintarou."

now that caught both of you off guard.

it slipped out without a second thought on your end, and you were visibly shocked.

as was suna, except he was more afraid than anything else. he knew what this meant—he was no longer rin to you, but rintarou.

he should be grateful though, because he knew what eventually might come next. he knew that it wouldn't be rintarou for long, and that as soon as it changes, it would be over; everything would be over.

"were you crying?" he whispers, reaching out to wipe at your tear stained cheeks. except you wouldn't let him, grabbing his wrist in time. God—mei would be so proud; as would that kind lady from the cafe.

"why should you care?" you spat, letting go of his wrist to remove your shoes.

"because im your boyfriend." he said, although you didn't miss the quiver in his voice from that last word, as if he wasn't so sure anymore.

you move past him and head straight for the bathroom; but suna didn't miss it. he heard what you mumbled on your way out—and it had him slumped against the wall (when you were out of sight, that is)

his fists are clenched and his heart is beating a little too fast, but he can't get his mind off of what you said.

"yea, well not for long"

five words, and yet they seemed to foreshadow his future.

-

there were two possible reasons that you could be waking him up at 10 in the morning.

you were either waking him up to tell him that it was over, and that you were leaving, or that it was over, and that he had to leave.

turns out there was a third reason.

"do you have practice today?" you asked, your voice a whisper.

"yeah.. why?" he got up into a sitting position, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. its been a while since you last entered this room, moving all your things to the guest room.

"oh. nevermind." you make a gesture to leave but he panics and grabs your arm. this could be an opportunity, and he wasn't about to lose it.

"i could um.. take the day off." he nods his head.

"are you sure?" when he nods his head yet again, your features soften.

"okay, well get dressed. i feel like going to a theme park."

you leave the room before he has a chance to answer, but he complies anyways.

his mind wanders to the picture that he broke in the heat of the moment awhile back—the one where you were both smiling at an amusement park, kids laughing in the bakground.

-

"let's go on that one!" you exclaim, pointing at the rollercoaster.

a soft grin takes over your face—and while it may not be your typical energetic one, at least it was still there.

now, suna wasn't a big fan of rollercoasters. he prefered to have you go on them, while he took the photos, but today's been the first time in a while that he's actually seen you happy, and he wanted to keep it that way.

you've been here all day, and it was already pretty dark, so they might be closing soon anyways.

when the cart had finally come back around, you and rin got on, with a guy slipping in on your side.

"you guys here together?" he asked, looking over you to make eye contact with suna.

you nodded, and he chuckled.

"im here with my girlfriend, but she doesn't like roller coasters as much as i do."

now you and him are making small talk, and suna is resisting the urge to tell the guy to shut up, and to go back to his own girlfriend.

when the ride finally starts, he feels relieved, even slipping his hand into your own.

your hand tenses, and he looks up to find a look of guilt soaked into your features.

he quickly unravels his hand from yours, settling it into his lap and looking away. he got too carried away to remember that a day of rides and fun wasnt enough to fix his mistakes.

as the ride starts climbing upwards, fear pumps through his veins.

he shuts his eyes, dreading the fall.

when it finally came, he opened his eyes and hugged himself to keep from screaming.

he looks over to you, and his heart does that thing again—it flutters.

with your hands in the air, your screams adorning his ears, he fell in love. all over again.

the moonlight caressed your pretty features as your eyes shut in pure bliss, and suna found tears falling out of his own.

the tears fell but he didn't sob—not once. you didn't look his way either—not once.

instead he looked away, quickly wiping the tears before someone could catch him. he missed this; he missed you.

when you two got off the ride later, he wonders if you would ever go to another theme park with him.

-

when you decide to leave, suna finds an employee walking around the park with a polaroid camera.

he asks him to take a picture of you, and places it in his wallet. he can't break it this time.

suna misses the look of guilt that slips past your face, as if it were never there.

-

when the car pulls into the parking lot, and you both get out, suna realizes that you weren't walking beside him.

he panics and turns around, where he finds you smiling. tears in your eyes.

"thank you for today, suna."

he freezes. he can't move anymore. he can't think.

"don't be silly. let's go inside." he's walking again, but when he doesn't hear a second set of footsteps, the tears wash over him.

"why aren't you coming?" his voice cracks as the tears stream down his face.

"i'm going to mei's. it's-it's over." you smile, wiping continuously at your eyes.

"y/n please, we can talk about this." he's running over to you, taking hold of your shoulders as he bends down to make eye contact. "we're fixable, okay? i promise we are." he doesn't make move to wipe away the tears that are falling.

you wipe away his tears, pulling him into a hug. "i'm so sorry."

he wraps his arms around you and holds you tight, afraid of having you slip out of his grasp. "please, don't leave me. i'll do anything, just give me another chance. i need you."

you wriggle out of his arms, and his fists clench at his sides.

"i gave you chances. i gave you too many. i have to go."

you're running now, and he can't decide if he should run after you or not. has he not caused you enough pain?

instead, he falls to his knees and cries.

that was it. he lost you—he lost everything.

the polaroid picture was burning a hole through his wallet.

-

when he finally musters up the courage to check the guest room a few days later, he sees all your things packed up in boxes.

you had it all planned out, didn't you?

-

when mei comes later that day to pick up your things, she finds suna curled into a ball on the guest room floor.

"suna. wake up."

his eyes open slowly, and she finds them red, his eyebags puffy and cheeks tear-stained.

"is y/n gonna come back?" he asks, his voice nothing more than a whisper.

mei shakes her head, and suna cries again.

she looks away, thanking the heavens that she wasn't in a relationship. she couldn't help but pity him as she collected her best friend's things, suna's sobs as a sort of background noise.

she couldn't be surprised—the lost of your entire world was enough to make any grown man cry.

-

heartbreak isn’t easy, but suna’s heart hurts without you. where he sleeps, where he bathes, it all reeks of your touch.

you’re everywhere here, all memories playing back to him like a movie. he’s reminded of you, and recovering addicts don’t test themselves; they dont stay around said addiction to see if they can restrain themselves.

and so suna moves out, running from the place that you’ve drenched in your presence.

he leaves the polaroid picture on the table.

[whispering-coffee]

So earlier today I was at this restaurant on a date with this guy but I really needed to piss for a long time and was holding off going to the bathroom so i could..you know enjoy the feeling. But when i actually decided to go, turns out their bathrooms were closed..ouch.

I kinda had to sit there trying to subtly hold it in since i didnt want my date to know, and it was pretty hard- I was just sitting there squirming in my seat with my legs crossed trying to not..you know.

When the bill came around I was fucking bursting but still resisted shoving a hand between my legs. We split the bill (because fuck double standards) and said our goodbyes, shared numbers, before leaving. Anyways.

Im walking back to my car just, ever so awkwardly with a hand between my legs because I still really need to piss. I debated just squatting down and going behind my car but Im generally more shy in public and couldn’t bring myself to do it, but I also knew i wouldnt make the thirty minute drive home so i walked back to the restaurant, ever so desperate, and asked them if their bathrooms had opened. At this point Im just non stop squirming in place as i didnt want to use my hands to hold myself around others.

Unfortunately..no, they were not open so I had to just slowly walk my way back out of the restaurant. I put my hand back down there between my legs and judt started pacing back and fourth worrying. I never intended to actually have an accident there and then so I was kind if panicking on what Id do, trying to figure out the best course of action...and well while i was thinking i felt a spurt of warm liquid shoot out into my leggings and doubled over.

I wont lie i was just a tiny bit turned on by myself but that feeling was heavily suppressed by embarrassment. Anyways so after the leak it just feels like Im about to explode, i was holding it all in for about an hour now (beginning when i first walked to the bathroom) and I, stupidly, walk BACK into the restaurant, still pressing against my special area to prevent an accident.

I was going to ask them one last time if they could make a special occasion for me because i was on the verge of wetting myself but before i can even ask I felt myself leak again and I hated myself for this but i let out a little squeak when that happened and its engraved in my brain i did that. But as i was saying, after that leak i felt a slooowww steady dribble and realized I was fucked as i knew what was happening, I tried my best to stop the flow but..alas I just started wetting myself..in the middle of a fucking restaurant.

Now talk about embarrassment because there were quite a few people, and the flooring was tile so you could just..hear my bladder pouring itself onto the floor..yeah. I quickly apologized and ran out by the time my senses came back to me..aka when the stream finally stopped.

For those of you wondering, I was wearing black leggings at the time, so in the light you could just..see the glistening if you looked careful enough.

Anyways thats my experience from earlier today

[monsterenergysimp]

Permanence

corpse husband x fem!reader 

summary: you meet corpse on a stream and you’re surprised when he reaches out to you 

warnings: cursing, mentions of tattooing

word count: 1.9k

notes: This is proof read but could have missed some stuff. This is my first corpse fic and my first time writing fanfic since I posted that super cringey book on wattpad when I was like 12 or something. I’d appreciate feed back so please reach out to me :)

main blog @itsmysleepover

read part 2 here!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You were cleaning up your station so you can get home and stream. You loved your day job as a tattoo artist but you also really enjoyed streaming. It started as a way to promote yourself as an artist and the shop you worked at but it eventually became a really fun way to destress at the end of the week (or day if you were really itching to stream). “Hey Y/N was that your last client?” your boss, KC, asked as she walked to the front of the shop and put new flash drawings on the walls.

“Yes ma’am!” You said back excitedly. You finished cleaning your station and tossed your black gloves in the trash. “And you can’t trick me into staying and taking walk-ins,” you joked with her. She rolled her eyes and walked back into her office “It was one time,” she said as you slid on your jacket. As you walked out your phone buzzed in your pocket and you checked to see who had texted you. It was a message from Sean asking if you were free to play Among Us with him and some other streamers. You replied that you were on your way home right now and totally down. You were excited to see who was playing this time around since their Among Us streams are super entertaining and have gotten really popular.

On your way back you tweeted and posted to your Instagram story that you’d be streaming soon and set up all your stuff once you made it home. After a few minutes, you had a couple of thousand people watching. You entered the discord chat and Sean spoke up. “Everyone this is Y/N she’s sensitive so be gentle.”

“It’s nice to finally meet you guys and I’m not gentle, I'm ruthless,” You say into your mic and notice the chat calling you a liar. Everyone was in the lobby waiting for the game to start. “You sound way too sweet to be ruthless,” Corpse said. The countdown started and you were imposter with Charlie.

“This should be fun,” you told the stream. Yout tried playing strategically but after such a long shift your brain was mush. You saw Poki in nav and killed her then vented into shields. Not long after the body was reported and you were sure you were going to get voted out or at least sussed.

“Where was the body?” Felix asked. “Nav and I didn’t see anyone near there so whoever is imposter must have vented,” Corpse responded. Felix spoke up again. “I think I saw Y/N walk that way and I haven’t seen her since.”

Shit, shit, shit shit. “I’m in shield right now so-” you said trying to defend yourself but Charlie spoke up. “I was doing tasks with her earlier and I saw her walk into shields so she’s safe but I’m still not sure about Rae.” Everyone discussed a bit more and some people, including Corpse, voted for you but Rae got the majority vote and was ejected. You released your breath and kept playing being extra careful.  

“Okay, guys that was super close. Corpse knows and is out to get me,” you said to the chat. You were eventually voted off but one round later victory was written across your screen with your ghost and Charlie’s avatar. “Good game guys,” Corpse said.

“I told you guys I was ruthless!”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You sat at your station doing nothing because a client had canceled a four-hour session. You were listening to music and sketching some stuff but you were bored out of your mind and you didn’t want to leave in case you got a walk-in. The music got quiet as you received a twitter notification saying someone had messaged you. You reached for your phone and saw you had gotten a dm from Corpse.

C: hey :)

You didn’t know what to respond. You were mostly confused as to why he decided to message you out of the blue. Did he want something? But what would he want?

Y: Hii! This is sudden

C: was i bothering you?

    shit sorry!

Y: Youre fine I wasn’t doing anything rn

C: how has your day been

    i dont usually do stuff like this

Y: Im glad you did im doing better now I was so bored

C: what were you doing that was so terrible

Y: NOTHING! thats the problem :(

C: im sure youll find something to do

You stared at his message. Unsure what to respond.

Y: Im gonna give myself a tattoo

C: what?

    NO!

You tossed the needles you used for your tattoo into the sharps box. “Oh my god you didn’t,” KC said. She noticed the wrap on your calve from the tattoo you just gave yourself out of boredom. “It’s not my fault I didn’t have anything else to do!” You said trying to defend yourself. She sighed and just shook her head. “Just go home business is slow today.” It was raining so the shop probably wasn’t going to get a walk-in anyway and you didn’t have any more clients for the day. It was only 2 pm but you drove home and after making lunch for yourself decided to stream. You weren’t expecting too many people so it was bound to be super chill. Your leg felt sore reminding you of the tattoo. You snapped a quick pic of the fresh jack-o-lantern on the side of your calve and messaged it to Corpse.

Y: [image] it came out nice!

C: thats  super cool actually

    i was concerned why you would just give yourself a tattoo but i found your instagram and       youre super talented

Y: Thank you!

For some reason, it felt strange to just have that be the end of your response.

Y: Im about to start streaming if you wanted to watch

    [link]

C: ill be watching ;)

What’s that supposed to mean?

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You sat in your apartment watching tv, hand lost in a bag of Doritos, and scrolling through twitter. You had stopped paying attention to the anime playing on the screen since you’ve watched it a hundred times and knew you wouldn’t miss anything. It was Saturday and you usually take those days off. Take the time to do chores or meet up with some friends but today you felt like not doing any of those things. As you continue your endless scroll (not helping the twitter addiction you told yourself you’d try to get a handle on) you got a message from Corpse.

C: wanna talk?

You looked down at the message unsure of how to answer. It was a simple yes or no and the obvious answer was yes. You and Corpse had started talking more regularly. You still didn’t have each other’s phone numbers but it was fine. Your conversations weren’t too big-- just you sending him memes, tiktoks, and telling him how much you liked the songs he would drop. Or him complimenting a tattoo you did. Sometimes he’d message you during streams telling you funny stuff his fans would say in the chat and you’d do the same. You learned a bit about each other but nothing too deep or serious. Like how you two lived a few cities away and you both really liked Donnie Darko. When Sean first invited you to that game out of everyone else there you were most excited to meet Corpse. He’s just so sweet and funny. Of course, you’d love to talk to him but you were also itching to talk to him and the last thing you’d ever want to do was make him uncomfortable.

Y: Yeah id love to talk

Here goes nothing.

Y: Wanna facetime or something?

     No pressure or anything it could even be a regular call

     I think facetime is just my default lol

You sent those last two messages quickly after you had sent the first. You wished you could know what he was thinking. It was killing you to think you had turned him off from talking to you completely. You put your phone down on the couch and went to wash your hand of Dorito dust. When you got back from the kitchen you turned off the tv and tossed yourself onto the couch.

Still no message.

Why am I so fucking stupid?  

Just as you were standing up to stretch from sitting on the couch all day your phone buzzed. You reached for it fast and looked to see that it was him. You became super excited still not even knowing what the message said. It could have told you to never talk to him again for all you knew.

C: sure lets facetime

    xxx-xxx-xxxx

You had his phone number. You added him to your small but growing contact list and called. You sat on your couch waiting for a response when he finally picked up the screen was black. It didn’t upset you; you kind of expected it and didn’t care what he had to do to make himself more comfortable during this call.

“Hey,” he said. His voice was raspier than usual.

“Did you just wake up?” You asked and looked at the time. It was about a little past noon and you had only eaten Doritos all day. Shit, you should probably make a decent meal.

“Not that long ago but yeah,” he responded and giggled. That giggle.

“Well, I’ve eaten nothing but Doritos all day while rewatching Ouran High School Host Club, so you’re welcome to join me as I make myself something to eat.”

“Sounds like fun; what are we eating?”

“I don’t know yet,” You said as you stood up and made your way to the kitchen. You opened the pantry and looked. You noticed a can of diced tomatoes and reached for it then checked the expiration date. It was still good. On your counter were some onions and garlic. “How about some tomato soup?”

“Sounds delicious.” you smiled at Corpse and your phone screen not knowing if he was also looking at his screen or not. “You’re really pretty-- you know that?”

“Thanks, but you don’t have to--”

“I’ve already told you what an incredible artist you are so many times I bet you’re tired of hearing it, but you already know what a talented artist you are.”

“That is very kind of you Corpse,” you said to him bashfully as you chopped the onion and opened the can of tomatoes. “But once again you don’t have to reach so far to compliment me.”

“I’m not reaching you are talented and beautiful and--”

“I thought I was pretty.” You could hear him chuckle with a smile on his face. “You’re both,” he said. You could feel your face getting warm from blushing.

“Fuck you you’re making me blush. My face is all hot and stuff.”

He laughed at how flustered you got. “That’s the cutest thing ever.”

You didn’t know how to respond so you just put some olive oil in a pot and tossed in your onions. It became silent but it was a comfortable silence. You turned the stove on and watched the flame for a few seconds. “If it was dark we could pretend we were together and having a bonfire or something,” you said to the phone as you turned the camera to show him the flame (still not 100 percent sure if he was looking at you or not).

“I’ll put it on the list of things to do when you visit me someday.”

[queenofimagines]

Stranger from Out of Town

Summary: Arvin had no reason to be here. After the things he’d done, he had no reason to be blessed with an angel like you. But after spending so long on the run, after spending so long looking over his shoulder, he couldn’t help but fall in love with the one person who made him feel safe. All is well and good in Arvin’s life until one determined and obsessed sheriff decides it’s time to pay Arvin a visit.

Notes: Ya’ll, this one’s a doosey but I hope you enjoy it anyways. For the purposes of this pic, Bodecker is still alive.

When Arvin woke up that morning he could feel that something was different. Arvin’s life had been flipped upside down by his own actions that had ultimately been what forced him to live his life on the run. He had spent the better part of a year running, zigzagging across the country in the hopes of shaking the authorities off; first traveling down to Georgia, then up to Iowa, then back down towards Texas and so on before finally finding permanent resident. Arvin knew what the rest of his life would look like from here on out. He understood that he would spend the rest of his time on God’s green Earth looking over his shoulder and never finding the quiet life he longed for. Arvin knew that he was cursed, from the moment his mother had died he had been plagued with loss and he was sure he was one of the unlucky souls who had come to be the Devil’s plaything. Arvin had expected that his life would forever be riddled with rot and chaos, damned to suffer through conflict after conflict after conflict. But when Arvin opened his eyes today to the sun streaming in through window and the sound of bacon sizzling coming from the kitchen, he finally understood what it felt like to be at peace.

Arvin swung his legs over the side of the bed, hauling himself up and making his way down the hall. His steps were heavy with sleep, shuffling against the floor loud enough to alert the person in the kitchen to his presence. As Arvin drew closer, he began to hear the hum of a song that was unfamiliar to him, just barely covered by the sound of someone flipping an egg, prompting him to hurry his steps to arrive at the delicious smell and the lovely voice that had almost lulled him back to sleep where he stood. Rounding the corner, Arvin couldn’t help but grin at the sight before him. There you stood in front of the stove, still dressed in your nightgown, cooking a breakfast big enough for two. 

Two. Such a simple word with such little meaning. An insignificant word that made Arvin’s heart swell with delight. It wasn’t just him anymore, alone and scared, no, now it was him and you. To Arvin, it was hope. Arvin watched as you plated the food you had prepared before turning around and flashing him an earth shattering smile. You would never know how much it meant to him, your smile, and that you were here, right now. You would never know the kind of stability you brought to him. And he planned to keep it that way, to keep you in the dark about all the things he’d done. To keep letting you believe he was just the stranger from out of town who stole your heart.

When you met Arvin, he was just a newcomer, a lost soul who had found your quaint little town practically in the middle of nowhere. He had stirred up quit a buzz when he walked into your parents’ little diner, asking if there was any place he could stay the night, but seeing as your town was so small, small enough that it could safely be left off of most maps and small enough that tourism wasn’t a main source of income, the answer was unequivocally no. Your father, who had been Arvin had the luck of plopping himself next to, informed him that the closest motel was almost a three hours drive away. Arvin remembered staring out the window, watching the last rays of light vanish, his hope along with it. It would be impossible for him to get someone to see him this late at night, let alone actually stop for him. Arvin felt like he could cry in that moment, but your mother, ever the good Christian woman, had offered to let him stay at your house until tomorrow morning. Arvin was grateful that your mother had been so kind, and in retrospect you were too, but you remembered how much you resented Arvin when your mother told you he would be staying with you. At first, you were all for it, one night with an attractive stranger from out of town in your house wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world, but the next day both Arvin and your father came home in the afternoon after they had supposedly left to take Arvin to the next town over earlier that morning.

“Turns out this boy knows his way around a car,” your father had said, beaming.  He had later told your mother privately that he had offered Arvin a place to stay with your family and a smaller than average wage in exchange for his help around the shop. Your father owned the only car shop in town and was in desperate need of a new assistant, and seeing as you didn’t want anything to do with being a mechanic, your father saw Arvin as a golden opportunity, someone to possibly pass the torch to. Your mother was more than happy to let him stay, finding his handiness around the house useful, but you were less  ready to welcome him into your life. Arvin had garnered a lot of attention, especially from the female population, and most of the girls at your school would pretend to be your friend in the hopes that you would invite them over, just so they could get a glimpse at him. It only got worse when your parents had commissioned Arvin to pick you up and drop you off to school. The girls would stare, trying to get a closer look at Arvin, a few of them even having the courage to go up and talk to him. It made you sick, that attention he got and how much he seemed to enjoy it. You had convinced yourself that it was skepticism about his character, but now that you look back on it, it was nothing more than petty jealousy that bubbled in your stomach. It was stupid, really, to be jealous that a boy was giving other girl’s his attention, especially since you hadn’t seemed very keen on the idea of him even being in your town, but what you didn’t know was that it wasn’t the attention that Arvin enjoyed, it was the fact that in the people around him, in the kindness that people showed him, Arvin could see a future here; a future with you.

From the moment Arvin laid his eyes on you, he was smitten, he would even go as far as to say it was love at first sight. Arvin wouldn’t confess this to you until almost a year after you’d met when he tried to ask you to prom (with your parents’ permission, of course). It was honestly a train wreck and did not go at all how he had planned. Arvin had invited you out to the town’s gazebo, he had strung up lights as best he could and set up a nice little dinner for the two of you. He saw a figure slowly approach, thinking it was you, only to be disappointed when Susan Hall, who Arvin remembered you hated with a passion, stepped into the light and flung herself at him, telling him how sweet it was of him to do this and attempting to kiss him. You had seen the whole thing and, devastated, you ran away, Arvin chasing after you. He had caught up to you in the woods behind your parents’ property and explained what had happened, confessing that he loved you and only you. You believed him, and rightfully so, as you later found out that Susan had crashed your plans on purpose to try and steal Arvin from you.

Looking back on it now, with you leaning against his in the small house that you had bought the second you graduated high school with the little money both of you had saved up and some help from your parents, Arvin was glad he had ended up in your dreary town, no matter how complicated your relationship had been when it first started. He watched as you admired the ring on your finger, smiling at it as if you had been missing it all your life, the now empty dishes sitting in your sink waiting to be washed. It was times like this Arvin remembered why he had to keep his past life from you a secret. He loved you and often found himself wanting to tell you all about his past life. Every time you asked why he looked like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders Arvin wanted nothing more than to tell you everything, but Arvin loved you too much to let you go and he couldn’t bare to think of what would happen if you knew what he did.

“Darlin’, I gotta get ready for work.” He said, lips pressed against the crown of your head.

“Why don’t you call in sick today,” you suggested.

“I would but your dad would kill me.”

“You know he loves you Arvin.”

“Yeah, that’s why I don’t wanna disappoint ‘im.” With one final kiss to your head, Arvin stood up and made his way to your shared bedroom. You began to clean the dishes, not having to go into the diner until later that day. As you began cleaning the last pan in the sink, a sturdy knock came from your door.

“I’ll get it!” You yelled, hearing Arvin begin to hurry to the front door. You had opened the door just as Arvin arrived at the end of the hallway. In front of you stood a tall man with a sheriff’s badge pinned to his shirt.

“Mornin’ ma’am, my name’s Lee Bodecker,” The man said. “I’m looking for a man named Arvin Russell and I heard I might find him here.”

“Arvin?” You repeated, confusion written all over your face. You turned to look at your husband, eyebrows furrowed in a silent question. From where the sheriff stood, he couldn’t see Arvin, his figure being blocked by the door, but if he leaned ever so slightly to the left he might be able to peer into the house and see there was someone else there. You knew something was wrong, you had never seen Arvin look as scared as he did now, so without a second thought, you had gently closed the door so that your body filled the gap it created, leaning against the door frame in an attempt to feign nonchalance.

“I’m sorry, Mister, but there ain’t no Arvin Russell here. Whoever told you there was must have been misinformed.”

“You sure about that?”

“Sure as the hair on my head.”

“Oh, alright. Then may I ask who it was you called to just before you opened the door?”

“My husband.” You said after a long pause, caught off guard by the man’s question.

“Mind if I speak with him?”

“Well I don’t but I’m not sure how you’d feel about seein’ him naked. He’s takin’ a shower right now.” You began gently tapping your foot, your nerves beginning to get the better of you. You had never been all that good at lying, something about it made you feel wrong, dirty. But you needed to protect your husband, after all, it’s what he would do for you.

“Then would you mind if I waited.”

“Actually I would. I have to leave for work soon and, with all do respect, I don’t much like leaving a stranger unattended in my house.”

With a small nod and a tip of the hat, the man bid you goodbye, getting into his car and driving off. You closed the door and turned to Arvin. It was silent for a long time, you waited for Arvin to explain himself but Arvin didn’t know what to say. His worst nightmare was coming true and he was terrified that your love for him wouldn’t be strong enough to survive this.

“Arvin,” You said, as calmly as you could, not wanting to spook him or yourself anymore, though it proved a lot harder that you thought. “Why was that man at our door?”

Arvin opened his mouth as if to say something but for the life of him he couldn’t find the words. He was frustrated with himself, and from the looks of it you were getting pretty frustrated at him to.

“Arvin,” you said more firmly. “I just lied to a goddamn sheriff for you. Please, tell me what’s going on.”

Arvin took a deep breathe before explaining everything to you. He told you about Lenora, and how hung herself. About the preacher and Bodecker and about Bodecker’s sister and her crazy husband. He explained everything he had done with complete and utter honesty. And he cried, longing to reach out for you but knowing his hands were too tainted to be worthy of ever holding something as beautifully pure as you. You didn’t know what to say. On the one hand, you understood his reasoning. To you, it seemed like the people Arvin had killed had it coming. But on the other hand, your husband had killed people. It didn’t matter what the reason was, taking a person’s life was a sin, something unforgivable in the holy book. Despite your better judgement, your decision ultimately came down to this: Arvin was your husband, and you loved him.

You slowly approached Arvin’s shaking figure, gently wrapping your arms around his shoulders and threading your hands through his hair. Arvin broke down into sobs, holding you impossibly close to him as if he needed you more than the air he breathed.

“Arvin,” You said once he had stopped crying, your own tears beginning to fall as you realized that there was only one option left for you both. “Arvin, we need to go.”

“What?”

“We need to go.” He gently pulled away from you, looking into your eyes, checking to make sure he heard you correctly.

“B-but this is our home.”

“I know Arvin, but that sheriff didn’t believe a word I said and he’s gonna be asking around town for you. It won’t be long until word of what you’ve done begins to spread. We need to leave before it’s too late.”

You gently ushered Arvin towards the bedroom and told him to begin packing a bag, unaware of the figure lurking at your backdoor. Bodecker had listened in on your conversation, hearing every word you and Arvin had spoken to each other, preparing for the right moment to make himself known. It was now or never, he thought, hearing you tell Arvin to pack a bag. As quietly as possible, Bodecker broke the lock on your back door, slowly making his way towards your bedroom. The door was wide open, he could see you and Arvin darting around the room trying to find your essentials. It was almost perfect, how unaware you both were. How wrapped up you were in yourselves that you didn’t even notice a 6 foot tall man practically right in front of you. With a sadistic smile, Bodecker raised his shotgun.

You froze when you heard someone pump a shotgun behind you, whipping around to find Bodecker standing just a few feet from you, gun aimed at Arvin. Your heart was beating so hard you thought it might burst, the thought of losing Arvin only increasing the adrenaline that was currently coursing through you.

“You thought you could get away, didn’t you?” Bodecker asked.

“Please, your sister and her husband, t-they were gonna kill me I didn’t hav-”

“I don’t care! You killed my sister. My sister! You killed the only person I loved Arvin. And now, I’m gonna return the favor.” In one swift motion, Bodecker turned to point the gun at you, raising his gun higher to aim at you properly. You closed your eyes before hearing the bang of a gun. You waited, standing stock still as the terror of the situation slowly got to you, but you didn’t feel pain, instead you felt a set of hands holding your face, a voice softly telling you to open your eyes. You did as you were told, seeing Arvin in front of you, eyes frantic. You looked at the ground next to him, an unfamiliar gun next to Arvin’s foot. You came to the realization that Arvin must have used it to shoot Bodecker, your suspicion being proven correct when your eyes landed on Bodecker’s now lifeless body laying in a pool of his own blood.

“A-Arvin-” Arvin softly hushed you.

“It’s okay, you’re okay now.” Arvin pulled you closer to him, cradling your head and shielding you from the body. Soon you could hear sirens in the distance, the panic slowly rising inside of you again. You could feel Arvin begin to panic too, his breathing starting to pick up.

“H-his badge.” You said, pulling away from Arvin, scared that he would be taken away from you. “We-we need to get rid of h-his badge. A-and any identification he has. It has to look like an- like an accident”

“R-right. Right, okay, uh...” Arvin began searching Bodecker’s body, quickly finding both his badge and ID and hiding them in a small hollow under one of the floor boards where you kept your savings. You and Arvin quickly came up with a cover, agreeing to keep it simple. The police arrived not long after, conducting an interview and putting you both through due process. You told them what you and Arvin had agreed to say, that the man broke into your house and tried to rob you, but thanks to Arvin’s quick thinking, Arvin was able to get to his gun and shoot the intruder. The policemen interviewing you were  skeptical, wondering why neither of you called the police after killing the man. You blamed it on shock, saying that Arvin’s first instinct was to comfort you, the intruder did have a gun pointed at you, after all. The policemen eventually dropped the subject, seeing you begin to tear up as the adrenaline and shock of the day began to ware off. Your parents came to get you and Arvin, offering you both your old room at their house until they were able to get someone to fix your back door, an offer that the both of you readily accepted. That night you and Arvin held each other just a little bit tighter, neither one of you finding sleep to come easy.

“We can’t tell anyone what happened today.” Arvin said, rubbing your back in an attempt to soothe you.

“I know.” You replied, tightly clutching onto his shirt. “I love you, Arvin.”

“I love you, too, Darlin’”

You didn’t know what would come out of tonight. You didn't know if you were making a mistake by trusting Arvin after everything he had done. You weren’t sure if you were messed up for loving a murderer or if you were right in believing that Arvin was doing good, even if it meant doing some more than questionable things. But you knew one thing, you knew you loved Arvin and that he loved you, and that you both would always protect each other, no matter the cost.

[aleksadnezz]

Sweet Night

Jae x Reader

I let out a groan while I extend both of my hands in the air. I stretched my hands side to side as i slowly pushed myself away from my table so i'll have enough space to stand. I finished the last call I have for today. I scan the whole room and saw that there are only few people left. I turned off my computer and fixed my things. After i fixed my things i stood up and silently bid goodbye to my colleague beside me while she's still in a call with a customer. She looked up to me and nodded and I left the room. On my way of leaving the building i bowed and greeted other people as if they actually give a f but i do it anyway.

It's only 5pm, my shift today was early compared to the other days. Since today is Friday I decided to drop to the market to buy groceries so i can finally eat something that a normal person usually eat, which is a home cook food. I've been eating process foods and sometimes i would just order food outside if i'm feeling lazy which happens everyday. I bought some groceries good for a week cause i don't know when will I have courage to go out and do grocery shopping again. I took a bus on my way to my home. My apartment is quite far from the main road so i had to walk 3 blocks to reached my apartment.

As i was walking a man from nowhere approached me and offer to help me carry my groceries. As if that I would let him he might ran and took my groceries away. I politely refused his offer and I continue to walk, after a minute i thought that he already left but i can feel him walking behind me, the nerve. I entered the building of my apartment knowing that he already stop following me, I quickly looked back to checked if he is still here and HE IS STILL HERE. I try not to think to much so i just think that he might also lived here too and wants extra money by offering strangers assistance or something, yeah right. I quickly hop to the lift together with other tenants, i was the last person to enter so i immediately clicked the close button but then an arm blocked the door and entered. It's still him, I refused to look at him but i can feel that he is staring, luckily we're half meters away from each other. We're getting fewer and fewer as the lift rises to each floors, i'm at 15th floor and this strange old man still with me inside the lift, should i be concern because we're at 12th floor already. I looked up when I heard the sound of the door opened, the other person left, my heart began to beat fast thinking how am i going to beat his ass without dropping my groceries. While i stared at the floor planning his execution I saw a pair of feet walked inside and stood beside me, i looked up to him trying to remember who this person is. Oh right he lived across my apartment. When the door opened i quickly walked out the lift with my short legs, i feel like i look like a penguin rushing to get home but whatever. I reached in front of my door and searched for my room key not minding anybody. I jolted when a man spoke.

"Hey! do you have company?" I turned around to see who is he talking to. I saw the guy across my apartment looking for his key to and suddenly looked up at me. I frowned and saw him slightly gazed over the strange guy walking towards me.

"Uh no." I stared at him as if im hinting that 'i have no f clue who's that old man'

"Hmm.. by the way do you have an iphone charger?"

"Y-yeah i'll give it to you later" I kept the conversation flow, so this old man would think that he's not the only male here.

"Excuse me Mr? I think you're in the wrong floor, this is the dead end." My co-tenant spoke. Both of our room are located at the very end of the hallway, so there's no way that the old man will insist that he lives here. The old man just pretend that he mistakenly went to the wrong floor and thanked him for telling him. What a b

I stood up in front of my door waiting for the old man to leave our floor. I looked back at my co-tenant and he is still standing there looking at the old man's shadow when he finally left.

"Yeah right what a creep." I spoke and his eyes shifted to me.

"Was he following you?"

"Seems like it. I saw him down the street." I said calmy as if i was not terrified earlier. His eyes widen to what i said.

"What??? He must be insane, are you alright?" He asked worriedly. By the way it is my first time seeing him this longer. The only time that i can see him is when he picked up his order from his door. He wears sweats, hoodie and his slides all the time. I wonder what his job is or do he even have a job cause i really never saw him leave his apartment and the cost of this apartment per month is no joke. Well who am i to judge.

"Yes im okay now thank you.."

"No worries." He looked down scratched the back of his nape.

"Thank you again." I smiled and entered my apartment not waiting for him to answer. My bladder is killing me already.

After i went to my bathroom, I started cooking. Im not good at cooking so i try not to make my life more complicated than it already is so i just fried some chicken and vegetables. I placed my food on top of the study table and opened my laptop. I like watching sitcoms and reality shows while i eat, though that's the only thing that i watch cause im not a fan of watching drama series. As i eat i remember that my co-tenant asked me earlier about the charger. I hurriedly finish eating my food so i can hand it to him.

I changed my outside clothes to a loose shirt and pajama, and put my hair into a bun. I walked out my apartment carrying the charger with me, i have an extra so i dont mind if he forgot to return it. Actually i hope he won't forget. I stood in front of his door and knocked trice. I got no answer so i knocked again loud enough for our neighbors to hear. Seconds later and he finally opened the door.

"Hi umm?" I spoke.

"Im Jae, sorry i didn't hear you, i was playing"

"It's okay by the way here's the charger."

"Hmm? Oh- yeah.. yeah.. thanks???" He looked at me waiting for me to answer. He's now wearing some specs that i think made him look attractive. Damn i got a cute neighbor. Okay i'll shut up now.

"It's y/n"

"Thanks y/n i'll return it to you right away."

"Okay sure.." I looked behind him. His room apartment looks just like mine. Well of course we lived in the same building but the difference is that he have lots of electronics like those two monitors with mic and cam on top of his table. I looked back to him, i think he noticed how i scanned his room. Gosh.

"S-sorry.. um you're a streamer?" I asked. His eyes widen as if i just discovered something about him.

"W-well.. i think. yeah i do stream." He again scratched the back of his nape. I just nodded. I didn't ask further questions cause i don't want him to feel uncomfortable.

"Woah cool!" I haven't watch streams before but i know what they do i just don't know how it works. I really do think that people who play games are cool cause i can't stand playing one.

"Yeah yeah.."

I jolted when i heard a voice behind me. It was the delivery guy carrying plastic bags with food.

"So um so see you around" I gave him a little smile and then entered my room.

I washed the dishes that i left earlier. I reached out my phone that was laying on my table, i typed "Jay streamer" nothing shows up so i just stared at my phone then i have come into my senses and quickly turned off my phone. Why do i even bother knowing him. Gosh what's wrong with me.

1   2   3  4 5

[jikooksoutro]

teacher’s pet

word count: 1.9K (WARNING; MENTION OF DEPRESSION AND SUICIDE)

jimin stared at his phone, waiting for a reply from taehyung but nothing. he had been standing in the hallway for about 5 minutes. he froze when he saw the drink on his desk. he had been joking about liking the person who had kept leaving him these presents but he was terrified right now. once he heard the text tone of a cellphone coming from his office he got truly scared. someone was in his office and he couldn’t bring himself to walk any closer. 

“t-taehyung?” he called out, hoping it was his friend playing a bad joke. no answer. he built up the courage to take a couple steps closer, not noticing that he passed someone on his way to his desk. 

“hey-“ a scream followed jungkook’s greeting along with a fist right to his shoulder. 

“oh my god?! JUNGKOOK?! OH GOD IM SORRY I DIDNT MEAN TO-“ jimin immediately rubbed the younger boy’s shoulder, his heart still beating out of his chest from the scare. 

“it’s fine i should’ve told you i was here. you got a pretty heavy fist there mochi” how could jungkook still address him so sweetly after what he did earlier?

“what are you doing here?” jimin asked. 

“i had to give you something” jungkook pointed at jimin’s desk and it clicked. no..he wasn’t. it couldn’t be. 

jimin reached for the sticky note sitting next to the coffee. 

“i like you a latte” he read aloud. “wait what..so you...that means....it’s been...no”

jungkook walked over to the couch the two had slept on not long ago, taking a seat. 

“hear me out?” he asked. jimin was dumbfounded but he nodded slowly. “yes it’s been me this whole time. my friend jin owns that cafe and he asked me to try his new creations before putting them on the menu so i gave them to you instead. i don’t think that’s important right now though.” he rubbed his shoulder. “i guess i’m here for myself. i figured you probably don’t remember much of last night which is fine and i’ll tell you anything you want to know but let me just tell you this first. i don’t know what it was but ever since i first met you i felt something really weird? wow that sounds romantic. um i mean i’ve never felt the way i do...ah. hold on no, i guess it’s just best to say it right? i mean that’s really why i came so i should just tell you but you ptobably already know i mean i think you do so what’s the point in me telling you because you read the sticky note too so it’s just the same thing-“ jungkook’s nerves were taking over him and jimin noticed. he knew he would regret it but he sat next to jungkook anyways and rubbed his thigh.

“jungkook, just say it”

“right ok yeah i don’t know” a sigh escaped jungkook’s lips. he thought about what yoongi had told him earlier on the phone. 

“i know you’re thinking about him and his decisions right now but think about yourself for a minute. i’m not saying that i don’t care about jimin’s feelings, but sometimes the truth helps both sides. tell him how you feel when you’re not drunk idiots. listen, taehyung mentioned that jimin was in his office. now, what you choose to do with that information is up to you but i think we both know what needs to happen”

“i like you jimin…a lot. i know it’s weird since most of our interactions have been during class or office hours but i wish i had the words to explain it?” jimin could see how nervous jungkook was but he also felt his own heart beating out of his chest. “i’m not really telling you for the feelings to be reciprated or for this to lead to something else, i’m doing it for my own peace of mind i guess. for the past four years i’ve done everything in my power to stay away from everyone romantically. when i was 15 i fell in love, or at least thought i did. we both struggled with our own issues but he had depression and i did my best to fix things between us when things got rough. i tried jimin, i tried to get him help but he refused and i knew i couldn’t do much. it got so bad i started feeling like shit because i felt so useless. i was emotionally exhausted, i couldn’t do it anymore. i was so in love with him at first and i saw how he changed. he wasn’t the person i fell for anymore. his depression consummed him entirely. six months before i had lost my parents as well in an accident. seokjin and namjoon took me in and they witnessed every shitty moment in my life. they saw how my relationship was affecting me on top of dealing with the loss of the people who brought me into this world. i’m older now so i can kind of reflect on it but at the time i was more focused on jaesung than my own mental health. seokjin and namjoon sat me down one night and laid out the facts. it wasn’t healthy for me and i knew deep down that i had fallen out of love long ago” jungkook began getting choked up, tears welling up on the rim of his eyes. he swallowed the knot in his throat, determined to do this. “so the next day i did it. i broke up with him. i told him i would still be here for him and do everything i could to help him but he refused. i betrayed him. i am the reason he isn’t here today” jimin knew exactly where this was headed and he reached for jungkook’s hand. he hadn’t even noticed the set of tears that had streamed down his own cheeks. 

“jungkook you don’t have to tell me any of th-“

“that night his sister found him in the bathtub and ever since then i vowed to never fall for anyone else ever again and if i did then i’d ignore it and move on because i can’t risk someone’s life for my own happiness” jimin’s heart felt like it had been ripped out of him. this boy he always saw so happy and giddy was hurt inside. worse than jimin had ever been hurt. he had so selfishly only been thinking about his own feelings towards jungkook but he never took a look at what might be behind this young tender boys feelings towards him. 

“i did so well for the past four years. people i met would be one night stands and that’s it. never anything more and never anything less” jungkook’s hand was being held tightly by jimin who was now feeling guilty it had to come to this. jungkook spilling his guts to him hours after jimin had broken his heart yet again.

“but then i met you jimin” jimin didn’t think twice before crawling onto jungkook’s lap, his arms circling the younger boy’s neck as he embraced him. it hurt hearing this. it hurt jimin so much knowing why jungkook had been so persisten in his flirting, why jungkook was so patient with jimin. jimin was special to him. he made him feel alive again. it showed in the way jungkook hugged jimin back. it felt as if nothing could seperate them in this moment. their bodies were linked together and jimin swore he could feel jungkook’s pain passing into his own body, he only wished he could take it away comepletely. jimin could see the tears landing on jungkook’s shoulder as he felt his own shoulder becoming damp. they both stayed there in silence, but it wasn’t awkward, it was the complete opposite, it was relieving and comforting all at once.

jimin lifted his head from jungkook’s shoulder, his hands linked together behind the boy’s neck. jungkook’s eyes were swollen and red, a sight jimin never thought would make his heart ache as much as it did. jungkook’s soft smile only made him feel worse.

“i’m sorry” jimin uttered, his hand sliding around to cup jungkook’s cheek as his thumb gently glided across. “i don’t deserve your trust. you just spilled your guts to me after i’ve been such a fucking coward towards you. unless i’m drunk then apparently i have all the balls in the world” jimin’s thumb reached a little higher to wipe under jungkook’s eye, preventing a tear from falling. “i can’t do it anymore jungkook. i can’t just sit here and continue to pretend that i don’t care.” after years of being closed off, jungkook was the one who broke down jimin’s walls. 

“just so you know, i already know how you feel. drunk jimin spilled the scorching tea last night” jungkook tried to lighten the mood, not wanting to keep focus on everything he just said. the only thing that mattered was that jimin knew how special he was to jungkook. 

“what? fuck. what the hell did he tell you?” jimin played along, adjusting himself so he was now straddling jungkook. his arms returning to cling around jungkook’s neck. 

“well he said you felt..what was it? an elephant in your stomach when we kissed?” jimin could feel his face becoming hotter with embarassment. “he also let me know that you like me but you’re scared of risking my scholarship which you shouldn’t be because at this point i’d risk it for you. it’s because of you that i’ve been so happy lately and even if you didn’t do it conciously, you’ve helped me. i’m fuckinhg scared jimin. i’m scared of allowing myself to feel this way but i can’t seem to control it when it comes to you. i feel like im a fucking child with a fat crush on a middle schooler”

“actually i think you mean a crush on your teacher” jimin finally earned a chuckle from jungkook. “you’re so cute” he couldn’t help but squish his students cheeks. “but jungkook, let me help you. everything you told me, i can’t imagine how hurt you must be but you have to know that it wasn’t your faul-“

“not tonight” jungkook cut him off. “if it’s okay with you, i’d rather not continue talking about that right now. i told you i came to clear my own conscience and i did. what happens now is up to you. i can go home and pretend nothing ever happened, or i can have you sleep in my arms again since i know you love it so much”

jimin leaned down, his lips grazing over jungkook’s. “stay” he whispered. jungkook’s heart felt content. did he finally get what he wanted? did he really just hear jimin tell him to stay, very well knowing what that answer entailed? most importantly, was yoongi fucking right for once?! 

their lips met for the first time without the influence of alcohol. jimin’s elephant returned yet again, telling him that it wasn’t the alcohol that caused that feeling. it was just jungkook. this was such a different kiss than either boy had ever shared with anyone. it was sweet and soft, it was genuine. their lips gracefully moved against each other, knowing exactly how to compliment one another’s actions. jimin sealed the kiss with a content hum, caressing jungkook’s cheek with his hand. 

“thanks for existing mochi” 

 34/?

previous - next

[dontlookatmehereplease]

I think I fucked up my new friendship, they haven't really talked to me since I made a comment on a photo they sent me of v!llbur, maybe they didn't know who it was when they sent it but realized when I said that then got grossed out by me being knowledgeable of the d$mp. Idk, I really hope its not them being grossed out because of that because to me its a comfort thing, I don't obsess over every stream like some people but I still watch old vods from time to time. It's relaxing and comforting sometimes, the earlier stuff anyways.

I think they m8ght not wanna be friends anymore tho, it's only been 2 days of barely any talking but this is from previously talking almost every night no matter how late. So I think I messed up which sucks bc they're a really cool person who I don't feel pressured to hide myself from(though now that its suddenly almost silent convos I think I might end up having to from now on sadly. I was comfortable being me with them. And possibly even starting to see them as something more(?) Idk im still fucking confused over how my romantic attraction works.

Oh yeah... that's another thing. Got to see my friends today and gotta say, it's a huge fucking punch to the gut when all you friends are mostly neurotypical and you're the only autistic one who is also the only single person left in the group. Our friend group is 4 people(including me), one is engaged with a baby on the way, one has been dating an ex coworker for over 2 months in secret (she only announced this a weekish ago) and the 3rd is possibly dating her friend she met on vrc, all while little ol me is showing strangers online pictures of my ass and having sexts with said strangers because i know I wouldn't be talked to by those same people if I tried just opening up with friendly convos. I hate being the mix of labels and names that I am, it makes finding someone who's willing to put up with me impossible, even more so if I want to have them date me on top of dealing with me in general.

Nobody likes me romantically, the only ones that do are assholes who either invalidate my gender, my identity, my heritage or my disability. And theres no way I would survive being with them if I got desperate enough to put myself there(who knows though, I think I'm capable of being pretty pathetic from time to time. Enough to hate myself enough to feel happy about being someone that someone else chose.)

Fuck, I just wish I could feel happy for my friends without having to tear myself down like this because I want to be happy when they are happy so I don't bring down the fucking atmosphere like I think I did today. I didn't really contribute to any of the conversations at all through that whole hang out. Definitely the one who talked the least out of everyone, I mean that's also just typical of me though

I need to go wash up and get ready again though, I gotta walk to my uncles soon for dinner and I gotta make it look like I wasn't crying over being the only one left out of the couple talks after seeing my friends. Bye for now again. Definitely gunna be back to vent about these fucking ridiculous and fucking stupid emotions my brain and chest is feeling after today.

[undertalecomic-surfacetale-au]

Things Forgotten-Frans story Chapter 1

Frisk’s POV

It was a nice day out, and Sans had invited me to go to Grillby's with him to which I had accepted. I mean who would miss out on hanging out with this pun loving skeleton? Not me!  Me and Sans were now walking to where New Grillby's had made residence on the surface.

"so Frisk, how you been recently?" Sans asked breaking the silence.

"I've been doing great, Toriel has been teaching me how to cook recently. She's the best mom anyone could ever ask for!" I replied enthusiastically.

"hey that's great, Kiddo. you should have her teach Papyrus too." Sans said jokingly.

I laughed. " Hey give Undyne a little credit for teaching Papyrus, they have at least been making stuff that's actually edible now, right?" I said in their defense.

Sans couldn't help saying. "define edible?"

You nudged Sans with your arm. "Sans!" I said scoldingly.

"heh. im just joking kid, anyways yeah Papyrus has been making edible stuff recently." Sans agreed.

We then made small talk as we both walked down the sidewalk making our way to our destination. It was so calm and peaceful as we walked through the town that was newly built for the monsters.

It had already been a few months now since the barrier was destroyed and all the monsters had come to the surface, there was alot of hard work afterwards with me being the ambassador and all. I had helped Toriel and Asgore  negotiate with the humans about allowing the monsters to live on the surface peacefully. Luckily most of them were very welcoming of the monsters, and had given them a huge peace of land to build a town to live in. Now that the town for monsters was finally done aside from some details, it was finally starting to calm down. I'm really happy that I'm now able to spend some time with my best friend Sans, after such stressful work.

I snapped out of my thoughts when I realized that I hadn't asked how he's been.

"So, how have you been Sans?" I ended up asking kinda stupidly since I should have asked while ago, but hey it's better late then never. When he didn't answer I chanced looking at him  and he looked pretty deep in thought, also.. upset? Something about his expression made me a bit uncomfortable.

" Sans, are you ok?" I asked my voice laced with concern. Did something happen? That seemed to snap him out of whatever he was thinking, but clearly still didn't know what I said since he replied with-

" huh? ..... What was that, kiddo?" Sans said while looking at me with a grin. I thought it seemed fake, something was wrong...

"I asked if you were ok, you were pretty deep in thought there, you actually looked upset.." I was seriously starting to fear that something was really wrong.

"nah, I'm fine kiddo." Sans replied nonchalantly. I narrowed my eyes at him. Even though he was grinning, he was obviously lying. I decided to not push the matter, after all this was supposed to be a nice day out. I wasn't about to ruin it, I decided to take Sans for his word.... for now.

" Alright if you say so..." I said while sighing.

" oh I 'Snow' so." Sans said winking. I groaned, and then laughed at his small pun. Through all the talking, I hadn't even realized that we were already right in front of Grillby's.

" here we are! after you Frisk." Sans declared while holding the door open for me.

I thanked him, then made my way inside. It was Identical to the Grillby's that was in the underground. I proceeded to head to the usual spot at the bar, even though we don't drink, it's become our regular place to sit here at Grillby's.

" so Frisk, what do you want to eat?" Sans asked me.

"I'll have some fries today." I replied.

"that sounds good." Sans said, then went on to tell Grillby both our orders as per usual. Grillby nodded, sat down the glass he was drying, and then made his way to the back to prepare both orders. After I saw Grillby pass though the door to the back, I chanced a glance over at Sans. I saw him put away something in his jacket pocket-was that a comb?- and go grab for a bottle of ketchup. I couldn't rid my mind of how Sans had looked upset earlier, even though he said it was nothing, I'm pretty sure he had something on his mind. But I wasn't sure whether it was my place to intrude, so I just sat there starring at him from the corner of my eye debating.

By the time I had come to the decision to be nosy, Grillby had already come back with both of our orders.

"Sans, what is the matter? Did something happen?" I asked  While looking at Sans, he had froze while drinking a bottle of ketchup. I  could tell by the look on his face, that he had hoped that I had dropped  the subject entirely. Well sorry, but you're not getting away that easily.

"kiddo, nothings the  matter." Sans said sounding slightly annoyed. He had sat down his ketchup,  and the lights in his eyes had dimmed a bit, but he didn't look at me.

"Sans..."  I said. I was not going to give up, If something was wrong with my  friend I was gonna help in any way possible. He just had to tell me!  *Going out of your way to help your friend, Fills you with Determination!*

Sans took a deep breath, he seemed to be in deep  thought. I just kept looking at him while I waited to see if he would  say anything. Then after what seemed to be minutes, Sans let out a long  sigh, and then looks at me, his face serious.

" i got a  question for ya kid... about the RESETS" Sans started. It was my turn to  put on a serious face, If Sans was going to talk about that it had to  be well...pretty serious. I had had a feeling he knew something about them, but he never said anything that completely confirmed my suspicions. After about a minute he continued.

"you're the one that's responsible for them....right?" Sans asked almost hesitantly, as if he didn't want the answer. But something in the way he asked, made me think he already knew it.

"Yes, and no..." I answered him truthfully. He turned to me, his face full of confusion.

"what do you mean?"

"I have reset, but only once, it's when I left the underground by myself. I reset because I wanted to try again, and hopefully be able to save all of you from the underground." I said a bit guiltily, not being able to hide the fact that resetting their lives did very much bother me.

"hey, don't feel bad about that! you ended up breaking the barrier and saving us all in the end, that's all that matters." Sans said encouragingly. He didn't seem mad at all in fact he was smiling, not a fake one, a real genuine one. Then something seemed to pop in his head and his smile faltered.

"what did you mean when you said 'Yes, and "no"?" Sans asked, now reminding me of the rest of what I was going to say.

"You said 'Resets' right? I only reset once, but I have a feeling I know who did the other ones..."

"who?" Sans asked now curious.

" I think it was Flowey. Before I came to the underground, he had the power of Resetting, loading, and saving. In the underground he had the most DETERMINATION." I finished telling Sans, what I was sure to be true. When I looked over at him, he was looking at me with hollow eye sockets, the little white lights in his eyes were no longer present. I flinched back, as I stared into the black abyss that was his eyes. Almost just as quickly, he regained the lights in his eyes and looked away from me, looking a bit ashamed.

"im sorry, kiddo. didn't mean to chill you to the bone. Heh..." Sans said apologetically, rubbing the back of his skull. I chuckled at his little pun and told him it was no problem, as I'm sure this was a lot to take in. 

"so... that weed was responsible, huh? i thought he kinda looked familiar that time, guess I now know why." Sans said, while grabbing his bottle of ketchup and drinking it all in one go. I looked away, then nodded.

"hey frisk?" Sans said so quietly I almost didn't catch it. I turned my head to face him.

"Yeah, Sans? What is it?" I asked, now curious as to what else he had to say. Sans then turned to face me,  his features not giving anything away.

"can you promise me, that you'll never reset?" Sans asked, his voice sounding kinda doubtful. Probably thinking that I would refuse. I almost couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"Sans, I-" I started to answer, but Sans cut me off.

"i know that's rich coming from me. heh, i mean i hate making promises and now  im asking you-" Sans started to say jokingly, But It was my turn interrupt.

"Sans, of course I promise! You and everyone else are my friends and family, I never want to hurt any one of you again by resetting. Besides we finally have our 'Happy Ending'! I'm happy with the way things are now!" I said while smiling at him. I had already made up my mind to never reset, and I was Determined to keep it that way.

Sans looked at me with a stunned expression. The white lights in his eyes were shining brighter then I had ever seen them, as his face turned from stunned to happy, in a millisecond. I gasped softly as I saw he had even started to cry, his tears streaming down his cheeks that were raised from him smiling wider then ever.

"thank.. you..Frisk" Sans said with so much happiness, that I was taken aback at first, then I smiled back at him. I'm glad I was able to help Sans, it seems like a great weight has lifted from him. I told him it was no problem after all that's what friends were for!

"yeah..hehe" Sans seemed to be calming down a bit. He had finally stopped crying, and was starting to wipe the tears from his face. But I couldn't help it, he was so adorable and I was too happy from being able to help him, that I hugged him really hard.

"w-woah, Frisk! don't wanna crush my ribs now, heh." Sans said jokingly, while he hugged back. I loosened my death grip on him so I could pull away enough to look at him.

"Heh, sorry about that Sans-" I stopped what I was saying, cause when I saw his face, it was blue. He's blushing, that's so cute! Wait what am I thinking..?! I blushed a deep shade of red in response, while trying to will those thoughts away. Unfortunately, It wasn't working. 

We ended up sitting there awkwardly, just staring at each other while blushing. I then realized that we were still hugging each other and our faces were way to close. I blushed even darker, as did Sans as if that same thought had also just crossed his mind too. We slowly eased out of the hug, and still sat there for a while in silence. I just kinda picked at my fries, not really feeling hungry anymore. Sans, god bless him, finally broke the suffocatingly awkward silence.

"so, you wanna go take a stroll around town?" He asked. His head was down and he was rubbing the back of his skull. He was still blushing a cyan blue, I giggled.

"Sure, sounds great." I answered, while getting off my stool and putting down money for the food. Before he could protest to me for paying, I was out the door, him hot on my heels. We walked down the sidewalk a ways, and were coming up to a crosswalk. I noticed he seemed to be grumbling something under his breath about me paying for him, I just laughed at him. Then he started to blush a light blue and pouted, actually pouted! He's really adorable when he does that....Heh, I guess I really do like Sans,..more than a friend anyways..

I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that, I hadn't realized where we were walking. I stopped and glanced around. It then dawned on me that we were in the middle of the street,  and the no walk sign was on. I looked ahead of me and Sans had continued to walk still oblivious to his surroundings. I looked over and saw a big truck rushing right where Sans was going, and I saw the driver wasn't paying any attention to what was in front of him! I felt my heart stop, and everything just went in slow motion from there. I ran as fast as I could go, yelling at Sans to get out of the way. He looked back at me confused, then shocked to see me running at him. I then jumped at Sans and pushed him out of the way. The truck was right in from of me, there was no time to get out of the way myself. I heard honking, and tires screeching. Then.... everything went black. A/N: This story is actually one from about a year or two ago I think? Idk, I have it over on my wattpad. I tried to fix some of it, since it was so terribly written back then. But honestly didn’t want to take that much time on it. I’m posting it on here, just in case you’re interested. This story and my surfacetale comic actually will have a thing in common but I can’t tell you what it is just yet. Anyways, There will be more chapters on the way. I’m just going over them and making sure they don’t sound TOO HORRIBLE.. eh whatever I suck at writing lol. Hope y’all enjoy the cliffhanger like everyone else did when I first posted it. ;3

[lesbian-sora]

Mirror, Mirror Part 1

Author: Me! :D

Artist: @rupls

Beta: @phansromance

Summary: Dan and Phil get invited to stay at a historical castle with Martyn and Cornelia. Contrariwise, Daniel and Philip aren’t invited anywhere, but not many people can say no to a highly trained thief and a dragon. But that’s totally unrelated 

Part Two

Word Count: (Total) 57K (This part) 31K

Warnings: Fantasy Violence (specifically there are some dead dogs later), and swearing

Author’s Note:

I have......... been working on this since August of 2015. So it makes sense that not only is it a day late (what are dates?) but it’s also not QUITE done. Lana has been great, but also really busy so xe hasn’t quite finished editing everything, and we’re going to keep working on it! So, if you see any mistakes, or something you would change, feel free to send either of us an ask! Thanks so much for reading!

Dan stretched long and lazily, blinking in the bright light streaming in from the window of his room. He laid in bed for a few minutes trying to suss out how long he had slept in and if Phil was awake or not. Upon realizing the angle of the sun and the distinct lack of coffee smell in the air, he decided he was definitely up way earlier than Phil. Yawning one last time, he threw his legs over the side of the bed and shuffled out into the hall. He took the opportunity to peek into Phil’s room to check on him. He smiled when he saw his boyfriend still snoring away, hair in complete disarray. He made his way to the kitchen where he went to poking about in the fridge to see what he could make them for breakfast. He decided on omelettes after finding some onion and peppers left over from a few days before.

As if summoned by the scent of cooking eggs Phil stumbled into the kitchen. Or well, he would have if he hadn’t run face first into the door jamb. He rubbed his head and grumbled under his breath and properly made his way into the kitchen. All the while Dan cackled at his misfortune.

“Morning, sunshine,” Dan cooed sarcastically. Phil glared and started mixing up his mandatory morning coffee.

“Your eggs are burning,” he said in lieu of a greeting. He smirked behind his coffee cup and watched Dan swear and whip around to try and save his omelette as best he could.

“You’re the worst,” Dan scowled, pouting at his extra-crispy eggs.

Phil cocked a brow and grabbed the unburned, cheese-free breakfast Dan had made for him. “I mean at least I warned you instead of letting you turn them to charcoal.”

“I deserve so much better, honestly.”

“Of course you do,” Phil agreed breezily, pulling Dan in for a quick good morning peck. “So, how’d you sleep?”

Dan shrugged noncommittally. “Alright, I guess. I actually went to bed before sunrise so I got a few hours. You?”

“I actually had a super weird dream. I hate I can’t remember any more of it than I can because I’m pretty sure I was flying at one point.”

“Yeah, I can’t remember much of mine, either. I think I robbed a bank or something, though.”

Phil snorted and grinned. He was clearly more awake now that he’d gotten caffeine and conversation. “You? Robbing a bank? You sure about that?”

“Oh, don’t laugh too much Mr Lester, you were driving the getaway car,” Dan snickered. “Honestly, I can’t decide what’s more ridiculous: Me somehow managing to steal money from someone or you managing to drive us anywhere but off a cliff.”

“You mean you wouldn’t want to Thelma and Louise it with me?” Phil pouted.

“Sorry, babe, but I’m not planning on dying with or without you any day soon.” Dan grinned, flicking one of the darker burn spots across the table at Phil.

“Well, then I suppose we’d best avoid robbing any banks today.”

“Shit, there goes my plan for the day.”

Phil huffed out a little half laugh and let a comfortable silence fall over them while they finished eating. “Hey, do you actually have any plans for today?” Phil asked, grabbing Dan’s plate and cup and putting all their dishes in the dishwasher. “Martyn and Cornelia are in town and wanted to meet for a late lunch if that’s okay.”

“Yeah, sure,” Dan shrugged and stood up. “I was just going to spend today editing that gaming video, but I’m going to need a break around then.”

“I hate to distract you from your super productive day, but do you maybe want to watch a couple episodes of Erased?”

“I suppose you could manage to convince me,” Dan grinned. “Might need to really twist my arm, though.”

Phil rolled his eyes fondly and shoved Dan toward the lounge. “Shove off, and get everything set up, it’s your turn.”

_________

Several hours and answered emails later, Phil’s phone chirped. On his screen was a reminder that he and Dan needed to start getting ready if they wanted to make it to lunch on time. He wrested himself from the couch’s comfortable grasp and meandered towards his room. popping his head in Dan’s room to check on him and remind him of their plans. He was expecting to see Dan hunched over the computer, headphones blocking out all but the loudest distractions. Instead, he found Dan leaning back as far as the desk chair would allow and aimlessly staring at the ceiling. He turned in slow circles and listened to the soft indie music drifting through the air. “How’s the editing going?” Phil asked to announce his presence, already knowing how well editing was going.

Dan jolted at the sudden interruption, but recovered and smiled at his boyfriend. “Ah, well, not great,” he admitted. “It’s just been one of those days, you know? I swear I can’t focus on anything for more than two minutes before I’m back to staring at the ceiling.”

Phil walked over and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “You need to talk about it?” he asked, clearly concerned.

Dan smiled and shook his head, grabbing Phil’s hands in his own. “Nah, I promise it’s nothing to worry about. It just feels like there’s something really big coming up that we’re not prepared for and there’s nothing we can do.”

Phil frowned and hummed in thought. “Any idea what it could be? I mean we don’t have any super big projects going on and we’ve pretty much finished unpacking everything. Is there something we need to do for YouTube that I’m forgetting?”

Dan shrugged. “I don’t think there’s actually anything it’s just one of those things that you can’t really explain away.”

Phil hummed. “Yeah, I know those. Well, we can get prepared for our lunch date, so take a break and get dressed.”

“See you in an hour and a half, then,” Dan joked.

Phil snorted and gently shoved Dan’s shoulder. “Better not take you that long or I will leave you here.” Dan squawked about how he’d better not do that if he wanted a boyfriend for long. Yet, his cries fell on deaf ears as Phil stepped into his room to get dressed.

As usual, Phil was ready to go long before Dan and decided to wait for him out in the lounge. Fortunately, Dan was actually joking when he said how long it would take him to get ready. He appeared not too long after in fresh, neat clothes and brushed but not straightened hair. “You ready to go?” he asked, digging around in their junk bowl for the keys to the flat.

“Yeah,” Phil answered, standing up and popping his back.

“Cool,” Dan muttered absently. He ushered Phil out the front door before following him out and clicking the lock. “Where are we even going, by the way?”

“Misato!” Phil said with emphasis in the last half of the word.

“That place is good, we ought to go there more often.”

“It is really good but the tube ride is so long is it worth it?”

“Yeah, good point, maybe we shouldn’t.”

Phil grunted in agreement and they fell into an easy silence as they walked to the station. Dan seemed lost in his own world of thought, but Phil was very carefully watching him. It wasn’t unusual for the two of them to spend more than average amount of time in their relationship in silence. Once you got that comfortable with another person you get quiet. But there was some unspoken thing going on with Dan and Phil could tell. Unfortunately, no matter how long he spent staring at his boyfriend, he couldn’t read his mind. He was no closer to finding the source of whatever it was that had Dan so off balance without asking. Something told him that would get absolutely nothing done.

“So, I never asked, what’s Martyn doing in town?” Dan asked as they swayed from side to side with the motion of the near-empty train car they were in.

“Not sure, he didn’t say,” Phil shrugged. “Maybe he’s wishing you an early birthday?”

Dan rolled his eyes. “Phil, I don’t know if you remember, but we’re spending three days up north with your whole family for my birthday next week, so I doubt it’s that.” He quirked the corner of his mouth up into a devious grin. “Maybe he has some salacious gift he doesn’t want to give us in front of your mum.”

Phil wrinkled his nose, looking vaguely green at the mere idea of it. “Sorry, but even if he is here to give you that we’re not keeping it. There’s no way I’m even risking thoughts of my brother while we’re fucking.”

Dan smirked and bumped their arms together. “I doubt that’s his goal. Besides, he’d be hard-pressed to get us anything new anyways.” Phil turned absolutely scarlet and Dan bubbled over with giggles. For a man who enjoyed sex as much as he did, Phil was awfully bashful when it came to discussing it.

“You’re the worst person,” Phil pouted, pulling out his phone to double check their directions.

“Should I tweet that then?” Dan teased, retrieving his own phone from his pocket. “Dan Howell, statistically speaking the worst person in the world according to Phil Lester.”

Phil huffed indignantly but otherwise ignored Dan until his phone lit up with a Twitter notification.

Daniel Howell Tweeted: lol so apparently im statistically the worst person. thanks for the update @AmazingPhil

Phil looked up at Dan, who was grinning widely at him, and quirked a brow and went back to typing on his phone. Dan puffed his cheeks at the disappointing lack of response and went back to scrolling. That is until his phone lit up with a notification of its own.

Phil Lester replied: And you’re the one who said to keep the online flirting to a minimum. smh

Dan sputtered and gawked at Phil who was pleasantly smiling at his phone like he’d done nothing wrong. To be fair, he actually hadn’t done anything wrong. But it was a well-known fact that nothing made Dan more embarrassed than being called out on his flirting. “I should tell everyone that we’re actually on our way to get super kinky sex toys from your brother,” Dan threatened.

“You totally should. Make sure you tag my parents and your grandmother while you’re at it.”

Dan narrowed his eyes, trying to ignore the tingling in his cheeks that came from the blood ever so slowly retreating back to where it belonged. “You win this round, Phil Lester.”

Phil grinned and pulled his pouting boyfriend in by the waist. Glancing around, he rose up slightly on his toes to press a kiss to his cheek. “Cheer up, love. The wind will change and your face will be stuck like that.”

“You know, the more you say that the less I believe your mum actually told you that.”

Phil snickered and shook his head, so Dan went back to ignoring him in favour of his feed. He was actually in the middle of a rather juicy Twitter chain when Phil nudged his arm to alert him of their impending stop. When the car shuddered to a stop they shuffled onto the much more crowded platform. Thanks to years of practice, they made their way to the street without losing sight of each other. “Alright, Mr Map, where is this place?” Dan asked, looking around. Maybe if he searched the sushi restaurant would materialize in the middle of the street.

“Around the corner here,” Phil said with all the confidence of a man staring down at a set of Google provided directions. “Assuming Martyn is early like he always is, we’ll get there just in time to order drinks.” Just as Phil predicted, they made it to the restaurant in time to see a waiter taking Martyn and Cornelia’s orders. After explaining to the hostess that their party was already seated, they managed to catch the waiter and request their drinks.

“Long time no see,” Martyn joked, reaching out to shake their hands while Cornelia gave them both quick hugs around the neck.

“It is always lovely to see you both,” Cornelia beamed. “We should do it more often; I feel like we only ever get together for work.”

“We see each other at vacations,” Dan corrected. “So it’s more like we only see each other for work or when we’re being babysat.” Cornelia snickered a bit, and Dan smiled at them both. “So, what prompted you to summon us?” As soon as the words left his mouth, Dan blushed while the rest of the table laughed. “That didn’t come out quite like I expected it to.”

“What Dan means is, what’s up, you two?” Phil clarified, bumping against his boyfriend fondly.

“Not much,” Martyn shrugged. “It seems like the whole YouTube community is taking a break after last year. We’ve mostly been working on some smaller projects for people.”

“It’s letting us meet loads of neat people,” Cornelia added. “There’s this one lady who runs the tourist department of Hever Castle. She was actually so impressed with the work we did she offered us a complimentary night this weekend.”

“Holy cow, that’s cool,” Phil marvelled. “I hope you two have fun.”

As he said that Martyn’s phone dinged loudly, announcing the arrival of an email. Martyn quickly scanned the email and looked up, pleasantly surprised. “Funny enough, that’s her now. Apparently, there was a last minute cancellation. She’s told us to invite some other people to come with us this weekend. What do you say, a free night in a luxury castle hotel with your big bro?”

“We’re in,” Dan beamed. Phil raised a brow at his eagerness but Dan just rolled his eyes. “Oh, please, you know you want to spend the night in a castle. Plus it’s a great chance to take a break and hang out with Martyn and Cornelia.”

“Well, it’s not like I was going to refuse, but maybe a bit more conversation next time?”

“Don’t worry, Phil,” Cornelia grinned. “Martyn and I already know the two of you communicate telepathically; your secret is safe with us.”

Dan barked out one of his signature goose laughs, garnering the attention of the nearby table, but he paid them no mind. “Well, I guess that means I’d better finish editing that video in the next couple days if we want to upload it Monday.”

“I can help if you get stuck,” Phil offered. “I’m pretty good at Daniel Howell editing if I do say so myself. They’d never even notice.”

“Well, I guess that’s our weekend plans sorted,” Martyn said. “Now, we’ve just got to decide on lunch.”

When their waiter returned they ordered their sushi. They spent an hour or so swapping stories. Phil told a rather dramatized version of an incident a lady walking her three dogs. But as he stayed quiet when Dan demonized their neighbours Dan figured they’d both let it slide. After, Cornelia regretfully reminded Martyn that they had a meeting to get to. Another round of handshakes and hugs later they were on the street to their next destination.

“Crazy how that worked out, isn’t it?” Dan asked, squinting up at the suddenly dark sky to see if they’d make it home before they got soaked.

“Yeah,” Phil mumbled in agreement. He didn't need clarification to know Dan was referring to their sudden weekend trip. He felt there was something off about the whole thing, but he shrugged it off, choosing to focus on the good. “Crazy.”

_______________

“Halt!”

Daniel laughed jovially and put on a burst of speed to outrun the guards hot on his trail, quickly losing them in the dark trees. The reasonably large satchel of coins and jewels attached to his belt bounced against his thigh with every step, jingling merrily. Skidding across loose gravel and dirt he darted through the woods until he came to a sudden stop at the sheer edge of a cliff. He grinned, looking over the edge that went straight down to a ravine that ended in a lake several hundred feet down, and waited. The guards soon came tumbling out of the woods to see the dark elf smirking victoriously with one foot over the edge of the cliff.

Philip, I hope you’re ready for this Daniel thought offhandedly. Then with a jaunty wave to the guards and a sarcastic “Better luck next time,” he took that last backwards step

Falling had always been a very odd feeling for Daniel. On one hand, there was the absolute terror that always accompanied plummeting towards your death so quickly your breath was left far above your head. On the other, there was the absolutely exhilarating feeling of knowing that he’d be fine at the end as long as he had Philip. As predicted after only a few seconds of falling Daniel found himself safely (albeit harshly) landing on the back of a great black dragon.

You shouldn’t have done that, Philip nagged telepathically while Daniel panted in efforts to regain his lost breath. There’s a line between doing what has to be done and recklessly endangering yourself and you and I both know you crossed that line.

“What does it matter?” Daniel whined, flopping back dramatically. “We got the jewels and everyone is fine so it’s not a problem. I didn’t even kill anyone. You’re just a worry wart.” Suddenly Philip’s back spines shot up a bit, harshly poking Daniel all down his back causing him to shoot up with a cry of pain and rub his back. “What was that for, you overgrown lizard?”

If I’m a worry wart then you’re a dramatic little nuisance. It’d probably be better for both of us if I found a travelling theatre troupe and left them to deal with you.

“Yeah, yeah,” Daniel pouted. “Just take us home. I’m hungry as fuck. I’ll probably waste away and die before I get any decent food.”

Philip chuckled, a strange sound to come from a dragon as it sounded more like a hissing earthquake than laughter. There was also the minor inconvenience that when he did it smoke unfurled from his nostrils which sent it straight into Daniel’s face when they were flying causing him to squawk and sputter. You are the biggest baby I have ever met.

Daniel muttered something about dumb winged snakes but settled back down for the ride. It wasn’t very far to the cave they had claimed as their lair (Well, Philip claimed it as his lair. Daniel showed up and made himself at home, a fact Philip never hesitated to remind him of.) but he always enjoyed any time spent riding Philip as it was something he actually didn’t get to do all that often. Most of their time was spent in and around their cave with Philip lounging about admiring his hoard, but whenever Philip got a thirst for gold or Daniel for adventure they had to travel and the quickest and easiest way was flight.

However, Daniel’s favourite times were when Philip decided he needed to stretch his wings and they would aimlessly fly around for hours. Usually Philip snap that he’d had enough of Daniel and that was the main reason he was leaving in the first place (Daniel honestly couldn’t blame him. Dragons were, by nature, jealous and solitary creatures so the very fact that Philip hadn’t already eaten him already was a miracle in and of itself,) but every now and then he’d smile at Daniel, all sharp-toothed and welcoming, and invite him along. They’d fly and fly with no destination in mind, Daniel clinging to Philip for his life as they soared and dove and flipped and spiralled through and above clouds, both of them loving every moment of it.

After an hour or two Philip would land in some forgotten meadow or on an abandoned beach to let Daniel back on solid ground for a rest and to get his heart rate back down. As always, before long the boy was begging to get back in the sky, much to the dragon’s amusement. There was just something about the way he could feel every last muscle of Philip’s wings beat beneath him combined with the weightlessness he felt and the rush of excitement every time Philip did anything outside of the normal that made Daniel’s chest tight with joy.

As if reading his mind, (which, knowing the sneaky lizard was probably accurate) Philip beat his wings extra hard, sending them shooting up before taking a nosedive towards the lake below, pulling up at the last minute to the sound of Daniel’s cries of joy. Daniel leaned over Philip’s shoulder as much as he knew he could just to see his own grinning face reflected in the perfectly smooth water they were almost skimming over. He was tempted to reach down and trail his fingers over the surface of the water but he knew from experience he’d just lose his balance and fall in and hitting water while flying at high speeds is never fun. Also, he knew (again, from experience) that Philip would just fly off and be absolutely no help and he’d have to swim to shore and walk home, which was never any fun.

Sensing Daniel’s ever-weakening restraint, Philip snorted with an eye-roll and beat his wings hard a few times to get them back up, past the tops of the trees and amongst the clouds. Traveling at night had more than its fair share of advantages in addition to Daniel’s sensitivity to sunlight, and Philip’s personal favourite was the fact that his dark body blended in seamlessly with the night sky, meaning they could fly undetected without worrying about tree cover slowing them down.

They flew for almost an hour when the forest started to thin out before finally letting out into the sea. Philip rumbled his delight along with Daniel as he swooped down so they could find the mouth of their home along the craggy shore. When Philip found the cave - about a hundred years ago, long before he and Daniel crossed paths - it had been much smaller than it was now, but after so many years of carving it was more than suitable for a dragon his size and age. In fact, if he kept up work on it, it would be an impressively large lair for when he was an ancient dragon and merely had to worry about guarding the hoard he’d amassed instead of trying to grow it. As it was, it had a main area that was mostly devoid of any indication of his presence to dissuade intruders and two antechambers, one for his hoard and sleeping and the other for everything else. Before it had stayed mostly empty as Philip wasn’t fond of kidnapping royals or challenging knights, but Daniel had taken over and filled it with creature comforts. Philip found most of them useless and a waste of space but even he could admit that sometimes that bed Daniel had stolen was more comfortable than a pile of gold.  

As soon as they landed and Daniel was off of his back, Philip polymorphed into his humanoid shape. He was rather proud of his polymorph shape as it was mostly human, but with very distinguishing dragon features including his wings and tail, and had taken him years to perfect. There was no bigger shame amongst dragons than someone who couldn’t control their powers enough to change shape, but it was a well-known belief that if you could do it completely perfect then maybe you weren’t a real dragon and deserved to stay human. “So, what did you manage to get?” he asked eagerly, eyeing the rather small bag in Daniel’s hand.

“Eh, mostly the usual,” Daniel shrugged, digging around blindly. “Mostly a few handfuls of gold pieces, and a few jewels we can sell in town for a very shiny copper piece.” He suddenly grinned and pulled out what he was looking for and held it up for inspection. “However, I think you’ll be much more interested in this.”

Without blinking, Philip snatched up the offered necklace with a clawed hand and brought it up close. It was made of gold with a small, thin but strong chain with a bright red jewel no bigger than the tip of Daniel’s littlest finger. It was pretty, but common and was worth more than most people had seen in their lives, but was far from the most valuable thing in the castle. No, it wasn’t the monetary worth of the necklace that had Philip so entranced, it was the craftsmanship. Every link of the fine chain had been forged and smithed into the exact perfect shape so that it fit in with its neighbour and the tiny jewel had been ever so carefully cut so that the light glinted at every angle. Something like this would have taken a master jeweller at least a few days to create, but based on the tiniest imperfections it had to have been done by an amateur, and that was the sweetest bit of all. It had taken someone at least two weeks of dedicated labour to craft this and Philip had stolen it, essentially stealing that time away as well. It was absolutely wonderful.  

“Is there anything else in there you want for your hoard?” Daniel asked breezily, admiring himself in his big mirror after decking himself out in gold and jewels from head to toe.

“That crown you’re wearing looks very nice.”

“Oh, boo, you great bully of a lizard,” Daniel scowled, taking off the crown and tossing it to Philip who caught it easily. “I never get anything I want.”

“You know where I’m putting it,” Philip said dismissively as he dug through the other things in the bag. There was nothing as impressive as the necklace or gaudy as the crown, but there was a fairly shiny cup he was rather fond of. “If you like it so much you can just get it from there.”

“You get all moody and growly whenever I touch your hoard,” Daniel complained.

“That was one time about three months after you showed up. You’re lucky I didn’t just eat you.”

Daniel rolled his eyes. “You know, you say that all the time, but I actually have a hard time believing it. I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t have the guts.” Philip snarled and Daniel felt the room grow much warmer as he was suddenly and vividly reminded just who his best friend was. Yes, he and Philip had grown very close over the year they’d been together, but he was still a dragon and a mean one at that. He might not want to hurt Daniel at this moment, but with little to no warning he could change his mind and Daniel could find himself back at the mercy of the world at best or a soot stain at worst. He quickly changed the subject. “We should go out tomorrow.”

Philip cocked his head curiously. “Why should we? We literally just robbed them; I doubt they’re going to have much unless you’re saying you did a bad job.”

“Of course, I did a great job. What kind of elf do you take me for?” Daniel scoffed. “I meant going into Bricstow to buy and sell things. Are you aware of the fact that we’re out of food?”

“Considering I don’t eat the food you do, I was completely unaware,” Phil said. “I don’t know why you don’t just go foraging or something while I hunt.”

Daniel huffed. “Because I had to forage and steal food for the first forty years of my life and while I have the money to eat like a king I’m going to do just that.”

Philip yawned, he could almost feel the first rays of sunlight peeking over the hills. “Alright, fine, we’ll go to Bricstow, but not until the day after tomorrow. We’ll have to be out during the day and you get whiney if you don’t have enough rest.” Ignoring Daniel’s offended protests, he transformed back into his full dragon self and took his new treasures to his room. His hoard wasn’t astonishingly large by any means, but it was big enough and only held the very best so it made Philip happy and that was all that mattered.

With a deep rumble Daniel would call a yawn, he curled up in and around his hoard, waiting for sleep to wash over him. However, before it could, he felt a small, warm body worm its way under his wing to rest in the (relatively) soft fold where his front leg met his torso.

And what do you think you’re doing in here?

Oh, like you don’t know. You know I meditate better when I know you’re there.

Philip snorted and rolled his eyes, but he ever so slightly brought his wing in a little closer to his body in a protective manner to shield the prone body beneath it. Much as he loathed to admit it even to himself, much less to anyone else, Daniel truly was his favourite addition to his hoard and he planned to keep it that way.

_______________

“Move your lazy arse,” Daniel growled, fruitlessly shoving his whole weight against a fully grown dragon like he legitimately thought that would make the slightest bit of difference.

Philip snorted. Yes, I’m the lazy one. Let’s ignore the fact that I’m flying two hours to take a skinny little elf on a shopping trip I have absolutely no interest in because he doesn’t want to just make the journey on foot.

“Name one half sane person who would make a six-hour walk when he can fly instead,” Daniel argued. “Now, come on. We’re burning daylight and I hate being up and about at this hour.”

Philip let out a rumble from deep within his chest to show his unhappiness but heaved himself to his feet, much to Daniel’s delight. He took his time stretching his neck, his wings, and all four of his legs while Daniel stood to the side tapping his foot impatiently. When he was done he blinked at Daniel to let him know it was time to go.

Grumbling the whole way, the dark elf clambered his way up and when he was settled he flipped up the hood of his cloak to protect from the sun. “Let’s get the hell out of here, shall we?”

With that, Philip weaved his body back and forth like a snake for a moment as if getting used to the way it moved before suddenly darting forward through the mouth of the cave and diving down the sheer cliff face towards the sea below. Right before they crashed into the water, he unfurled his great wings and let the ocean wind lift him up to his cruising altitude before he began to slowly flap.

It was a beautiful, perfectly clear day, and under normal circumstances, Daniel would have been absolutely tickled pink and looking around to see everything possible, but as it was daylight he couldn’t do that. Instead, he was huddled up under his thickest cloak, trying his best to both stay cool and keep as much sun as possible off his sensitive skin. He was fine - albeit uncomfortable - when he was out in the sun so long as he had at least partial shade, but when they were flying there was nothing to protect him, so all he could do was suffer through. Philip would never admit it, but it greatly concerned him to see his friend in such distress and he almost subconsciously started flying ever so slightly faster.

Bricstow was the perfect city for Daniel and Philip to sell the treasures they decided not to keep. It wasn’t by any means the largest city around, but it was big enough that it garnered a rather large market full of merchants who had learned not to ask too many questions, and it was only about twenty miles away from their cave and through some very dense forest which made traveling there and back in a day easy for them, but rather more difficult for anyone who decided to follow them. There was also a very convenient meadow not too far out of town where they could land out of view of prying eyes, which, after nearly two hours of unfortunately silent flight, Philip was hovering over as he looked for the ideal place to touch down.

“Thank fuck,” Daniel sighed as soon as he was on the ground and in the shade of some trees. “I hate flying during the day.”

“You and me both,” said Philip, who had transformed into his humanoid shape. “Now come on, let’s go get your stuff.”

Together they made their way into town, Philip garnering several terrified glances that he absolutely revelled in. Daniel rolled his eyes and tugged him along to his favourite stall, run by a Kenku by the name of Bofraran. Like most of his birdman people, he was far too interested in gold to ask questions and usually forgot to wonder how an allegedly homeless drow came across the items Daniel had for sale. He underpaid for most of the things he acquired, but all of his deals came with an unspoken vow of silence that he wasn’t about to break anytime soon.

“Ah, Daniel!” he crooned as soon as they stepped in. “It’s been quite a while since I last saw you, how have you been? Did you come to visit your old friend?”

“Cut the bullshit, Bofaran,” Daniel said narrowing his eyes. “You and I both know why we’re here so stop wasting time.”

Bofaran merely shrugged his feathered shoulders. “Nobody ever wants to just talk these days. It’s always rush rush rush with you folk. No manners. Now, let’s see what we have here.” He peered into the bag and pulled out a few items to inspect closer. There was one ring that he seemed particularly keen on as he started chattering delightedly after looking at it for a moment. “Why, Daniel, you always do bring me the prettiest things.”

“We keep the prettiest,” Philip corrected him flatly, perusing the wares set out with disinterest.

Bofaran clicked his beak together in agitation for a moment at Philip’s tone but soon turned back to Daniel, returning to his oily business tone. “I’ll give you one thousand gold pieces for the bag.”

Daniel actually laughed out loud for a moment. “Try again, Bof. That ring in your hand is worth more than a thousand. Aim a bit higher this time.”

Bofaran narrowed his beady black eyes. “One and a half.”

“Three.”

“One and three quarters.”

“Two and a half.”

“Two.”

Daniel pursed his lips and snatched the ring from Bofraran’s talons. “Maybe you didn’t hear me; I’ll repeat myself. Two. And a. Half. Take the deal or we walk birdman.”

Bofaran clicked his beak together a bit more, staring longingly at the ring Daniel was rolling through his fingers. After a moment, he sighed and pulled out his chest and started counting out tiny bags of gold. “Deal. Two thousand five hundred gold. It’s more than I’d pay for just about anything but that ring will more than bring it back and I’m fairly certain between you and your dragon friend I don’t stand a chance.”

Daniel grinned wolfishly and swept the money into his bag with one arm. “Pleasure doing business with you, Bofaran. It’s always good to see old friends.”

Bofran ruffled up his feathers beneath his baggy robes. “You would say that after you’ve robbed me blind. Now, go. Get out before I get it in my mind to call the guards.”

Daniel laughed right in the unhappy kenku’s face. “Right, yeah. You’ll call the guards. Will that be before or after you stash away the illegal scrolls and magic weapons?”

“Out!”

Still cackling, Daniel grabbed Philip’s arm and dragged them outside. “Come on, it’s food time. I think I saw someone up here selling foods from the Underdark.”

As expected, a few stalls down there was an old, pretty High Elf woman named Sisar selling all manner of Drow delicacies along with her usual wares. As usual, Philip found most of what Daniel loaded into his bag distasteful, but he did wind up picking out some forest strider drumsticks and some delightfully pungent goat sausage for their meal in town. With their newly bought food, they managed to find a secluded area where they could eat without being disturbed or leaving town.

“You’re not going to like that,” Philip said breezily, sinking his fangs into his drumstick after giving it a quick charbroil with his flames.

“What are you talking about?” Daniel scowled, looking up from his comically black meal. “I’ll have you know these foods are a cultural delight for my people.”

“You say that every time you manage to find someone selling this stuff,” Philip argued. “And yet, every time you wind up hating at least half of it. I noticed you only got more than one meal’s worth of stuff for about half of what’s on your plate.”

As if trying to prove Philip wrong, Daniel grabbed the egg he had bought (some kind of faerzress infused duck egg, if Phil was remembering correctly) and took about half of it into his mouth in one big bite. He immediately regretted this decision. Philip raised his eyebrow as Daniel’s face seemed to almost turn inside out at the sudden, unbearably salty flavour that flooded his mouth. “Maybe that particular thing isn’t for me,” he squeaked out after fighting to choke it down.

“Well, I’m fairly certain those are supposed to be a soup starter,” Philip laughed. “Come on, now, you know what you do and do not like, just skip to the good stuff.”

“I’ll eat whatever I want!” Daniel snapped. He looked down at the Donigarten Moss Snails he had next up for eating and did his best to swallow down the bile at the back of his throat. “You know what? Maybe I will skip out on this today.”

“Why don’t you tell me about the stuff you do actually like?” Philip suggested, not unkindly.

Daniel beamed. “I have black velvet ear fungus, which are these dark brown things that kind of look like wood shavings; black truffle rothe cheese from Menzoberranzan, which is super savory and creamy and delicious; and I have some blind cave fish caviar, which mostly just taste like salt, but they’re good with the mushrooms.”

Philip nodded and did his best to not look sick to his stomach. “You people are certainly… fond of your heritage as far as food goes.”

“Humans are the worst about it,” Daniel shrugged. “I mean, they have food specific to their race and where they came from and even their specific families. I mean, yeah, there are slight differences from place to place with everyone, but from what I remember pretty much everyone in the Underdark ate basically the same thing.”

Philip hummed, but he was quickly losing interest as he had spotted a very wealthy looking orc lady who was carrying an absolutely stunning tapestry bag over her arm. “Wait here,” he said to Daniel, effortlessly getting to his feet with a short flap of his wings. He smoothly cut his way through the crowd until he was walking right next to his target. “That’s a lovely bag there you have, Miss,” he said, charm dripping off every word. “Might I ask you a bit about it?”

The orc looked positively terrified at the sight of a rather large mouthful of very sharp teeth grinning at her. “I-I bought it not long ago.”

“Any idea who made it?”

“M-Malement,” she stammered. “He’s the-the Dragonborn weaver in Lundy.”

“Oh, it’s a shame we’re in Bricstow, I would love to have a bag like that,” he lamented. Then he smiled again, wider and sharper and more dangerous than before. “Say, you wouldn’t mind giving me yours would you?”

“But I-I had to wait two months for him to finish this one for me!”

“Even better,” he cooed, completely delighted. “Now, why don’t you give that to me and I won’t have to do something we’ll both regret.” The colour quickly drained from her face, and without another word, she shoved her bag into Philip’s waiting hands. “Don’t even think about telling the guards about this, yeah?” She nodded quickly, and as quickly as she could she darted down the street. Philip chuckled to himself as he made his way back to Daniel, closely inspecting his find. It wasn’t quite two months worth of work, but it was perfectly and expertly made and it was rather pretty.

“Find something fun, did you?” Daniel asked, cocking an eyebrow and immediately taking the bag so he could look through it. Much to Philip’s displeasure. “Why was this woman carrying around so much garbage?” he whined, dumping it out. “She has like four gold, but she’s got a jar of… griffon grease?”

“Maybe she’s a wizard and these are her spell components,” Philip rationalized, looking at a vial of fingernail clippings in mild disgust.

“The fuck kind of spell needs this horse shit?” Daniel demanded, shaking a bubble pipe at him.

Delighted, Philip dropped the nail vial, grabbed the pipe and started blowing smoke-filled bubbles. “Whatever she had it for doesn’t much matter anymore as it’s ours now. Just take what of it seems remotely valuable and leave the rest.”

Daniel frowned, looking over the pile of stuff, before grabbing a teardrop shaped necklace that appeared to be made of an actual teardrop and left the rest. “Well, again, most of this is worthless and I don’t much fancy being weighed down, do you?”

Philip shrugged and tossed the necklace and pipe back in the bag. “I only really wanted the bag in the first place.”

“Come on, then, I have a few more things I want to get before we head back home.”

Philip grumbled under his breath, but acquiesced, following Daniel around as he purchased all sorts of boring things like chests with locks, silk rope, clothes, ink and parchment, more armour and weapons, lanterns, healing potions and candles. He was honestly convinced the drow was just spending money to spend it at this point, and to make Philip carry heavy things.

“Alright, I think that’s everything,” Daniel announced, checking over his list one more time. “Time to head on out, I guess then.” When Philip didn’t make yet another sarcastic comment, Daniel looked up to see him staring with complete focus at a tent with a modest sign that said “Estelaria: Fortunes Told.” “Oh, you can’t be serious.”

Philip turned and scowled at him. “We came all this way for your trivial things; we’re going in this tent.”

Daniel huffed, and rolled his eyes, but followed Philip inside, leaving their possessions just inside. It was dark and humid within the canvas, and the air was filled with smoke, but the fortuneteller was suspiciously absent. “Well, looks like nobody’s home. If we leave now I promise not to make fun of you the whole way back.”

“There’s someone here,” Philip hissed, looking around eyes narrowed and tail lashing. “I can sense it.”

“Look, can we just-”

“You don’t seem to have much faith in my abilities, Drow.”

Daniel whipped around to see a pretty aasimar woman sat at the previously empty table, her chin resting on her folded hands. Her skin was a warm copper tone and she had a pair of purple stars painted onto her cheeks; however, her most defining features were her bright purple eyes and dark purple hair that looked to have the very stars from the sky woven into it. “My name is Estelaria,” she smiled, offering a gloved hand in greeting. “You’re Daniel and Philip, I presume.”

“How did you know that?” Daniel demanded, eyeing her suspiciously.

Philip rolled his eyes. “Well, I’m no genius, but I’m pretty sure between her being able to predict the future and us being wanted criminals it wasn’t too hard to guess.” He turned to Estelaria with a smile and pressed a kiss to her hand. “Never you mind him. You know children these days have no manners.”

She laughed and withdrew her hand while Daniel scowled. “Don’t concern yourself with me; I’ve had more than one doubter come through here.” She grinned and leaned forward to stage whisper conspiratorially, “I haven’t had a doubter leave, though.”

Philip chuckled but Daniel just frowned deeper. “Is that supposed to be endorsing your own abilities or a poorly veiled threat on my life?” He was completely and totally ignored.

“So, what do you charge for a fortune reading?” Philip asked, hands already going towards their coin purse, which Daniel regretted making him carry now.

“Oh, for you two?” Estelaria asked with a knowing smile. “Absolutely nothing.”

Daniel’s eyes narrowed further. What kind of person didn’t charge for their services? Even if those services were completely phoney, you should still get some coin from it.

Philip, on the other hand, didn’t seem remotely phased by the refusal. “So, how do you predict the future? Crystal ball, tarot cards, palm reading?”

She beamed at him like she’d been waiting to hear that specific question. “Actually, no. I do things a bit differently.” She then revealed her wand, it was red and ended with her signature purple star, and waved it. Suddenly the room grew pitch black before little spots of light all around burst into existence. “I read the stars.”

Philip seemed delighted with the display as he always was when people performed magic, but Daniel’s skin immediately began to crawl. The darkness that filled the tent was definitely of magic - very powerful magic at that - and even with his Darkvision, he couldn’t see anything not illuminated by the summoned stars. Judging from the power evident in the spells necessary for this he was sure Estelaria could beat him handily, even with Philip’s help, and he didn’t like spending extended periods of time with people he couldn’t handle in a fight.

Estelaria hummed to herself for a moment as she peered at the twinkling lights around her. “You two have been busy, I see,” she said, cocking a brow at them. Philip laughed, producing a small flame that filled his mouth, just to be a showoff. “You aren’t really after monetary things, dragon, which I must say I find a bit odd.”

Philip shrugged. “Every dragon has his own taste.”

“Yes, and it seems yours is more handcrafted, preferably magic,” she noted. She turned to Daniel and smiled. “You, however, are much more direct. Orphaned at a young age and facing prejudice from surface dwellers, you had to fight for every meagre thing you had, and now that you have the means your only drive is gaining as much money as possible and spending it on your slightest whims.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Daniel huffed. “That’s the exact same sob story of pretty much every drow up here. I was just lucky enough to be kidnapped by a picky dragon instead of left to starve on the streets.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Regardless of how many shares your story it is yours. But this is all in the past and matters not, for I am a fortuneteller, not a history book.” Daniel snorted, but she ignored him and instead went back to studying her stars. She was mostly silent for a moment as she wandered around her tent, measuring the stars with her hands and muttering, “No… no, that doesn’t make any sense.”

This went on for a solid few minutes before Philip’s infamous dragon temper wore thin. “What exactly doesn’t make sense?” he snapped.

Estelaria blinked at him for a moment. “There’s only one path written in the stars for the both of you,” she explained. “Not only should there be a separate set of paths for each of you, those sets should have more than one option. I was trained to be read the possible paths and tell you the most likely one and how you could stray from it. This… this is unprecedented, impossible even.”

“Why don’t you just tell us what you have found instead of wasting our time marvelling over the things you can’t?” Daniel suggested snidely.

She sighed and collapsed in her chair, rubbing her temples. With a wave of her wand, the lights disappeared and the darkness faded. “You’re about to face your greatest challenge yet,” she said after another moment. “You will face and triumph over one challenge and you may trick yourself into thinking you’ve won, but you have only just begun. You will face battles you can’t fight in a place you’ve never even dreamed of. You will discover things about yourselves during this challenge that you never knew you never knew. Your pasts are incredibly important and you will learn just how much they have shaped you over the years.”

Daniel and Philip met the other’s gaze for a half second before Philip loudly said, “Well, that was incredibly vague and useless, and I mean even more incredibly vague and useless than I was prepared for, and I was prepared for a lot.” He bent down and scooped up their belongings. “Now, if you don’t mind, we’ll be taking our leave.”

“Wait!” she shouted after them. “I have one warning for you! One way you can diverge from this path! Whatever you do, don’t take the next heist you hear about.”

“We’ll be sure to keep that in mind,” Daniel simpered, already halfway out the door.

When they were back on the road, Philip turned to Daniel, so angry that smoke was furling out of the corners of his mouth. “How dare she waste my time like that?” he snarled. “Future sight is a noble art and for her to claim the title with none of the skill is a slander to the profession.”

“You’re surprisingly butthurt over this,” Daniel chuckled. “I mean, I knew you were the superstitious type, but this seems a little much.”

Philip looked like he was about to snap back a retort when suddenly his face changed to one of curiosity and he cocked his head to get a better sound. When he did begin to speak it was in the shrill, rough voice of a young aarakockra girl. “- I heard there was more gold there than you’d ever dream of having. A magic mirror and everything! The place is empty, too; all for the taking!”

He spoke again, but now with the slow speech of a Goliath. “Yes, but how many people must die before the place is marked for what it is - a cursed trap for any and all adventurers.”

This time a male goblin used his voice to say, “Oh, do you really believe all that nonsense? The only thing cursed about that place is your own perception of it.”

“You can’t disagree with facts,” the goliath argued. “And the fact is that too many people have died going after this. I won’t be another.”

“Well, you are replaceable,” the aarakockara pointed out.

“You’d leave me behind, Resa?” the goliath asked sounding hurt.

“Yes, we can and we will,” the goblin snapped. “Now, are you coming with us to Eadhelmsbrigge or not?”

“I still think it’s a bad idea but-” Philip stopped channelling their conversation as soon as he realized there was no more information to be had. “I know what castle they’re talking about,” he said smugly.

“You’re joking,” Daniel grinned. “Why haven’t you said something before now then?”

“I didn’t know exactly where it was,” Philip explained. “I knew there was an old castle in the east of Umbria that was full of treasure and allegedly cursed, but I didn’t know which one exactly it was. If they’re going to Eadhelmsbrigge, though, there’s only one castle there and that’s Waldorf castle.”

“How far away is it?”

“About a day and a half’s flight.”

“Think we can beat them there?”

Philip smirked. “You know we can.”

_______________

“You know, considering we’re supposed to be going off on an adventure, you sure are making this incredibly boring,” Daniel groaned, flopping dramatically over his favourite lounge chair.

Philip growled at him. “Well, if I didn’t have a needy little flesh bag tagging along I would have left by now; instead I’m stuck here making sure he has everything he needs while he lazes about and bitches at me.”

Daniel snorted and rolled off the couch, not taking a word the irritated dragon said to heart. “Look, it’s just going to be five nights we’re gone. Two to travel there, one to steal everything we can carry, and two to get back. Easy. I don’t need you to pack everything I’ve ever owned. Look, I’ve got a pre-packed bag of basically everything I could possibly need.”

“And just what do you have in there?” Philip huffed, narrowing his eyes.

Daniel scoffed but started digging through his bag at Philip’s behest. “Uh, let’s see, I’ve got a shitload of ball bearings-”

“Why the hell would you need that?”

Daniel shrugged. “I dunno, setting off traps? Tripping people who might be following you? I’ve used them loads. Do you want to know what else is in here or not?”

Philip pursed his lips. “I’m almost scared to find out, but, yes, I do.”

Daniel grinned and began to list off the things he dug out which included his lock-picking tools, a tightly wound ball of string, a bell, candles, hammer and pitons, and a thick coil of hempen rope. “All I really need is water, food and a couple medicine packs,” he said, listing them off on his fingers.

“What about all your bedding and clothes?” Philip argued.

Daniel wrinkled his nose. “Okay, a change of clothes would probably be ideal, but I definitely don’t need blankets or anything. It’s the middle of summer and I sleep on you all the time anyway. Anything else is just taking up room.”

Philip frowned as Daniel went about gathering up all the rations he’d need for the trip. “If you’re sure. I just feel like there’s something going on that we don’t know about.”

Daniel snorted. “I swear to Lolth if you’re going to bring up that worthless fortune teller from yesterday I will leave and never come back.”

“Well, I wasn’t planning on mentioning her, but with that kind of offer how can I refuse?”

“Fuck right off.”

“I am completely serious, though,” Philip insisted. “Something big is about to happen and I’m not sure we’ll know what to do when it does.”

Daniel sighed and stood up to look Philip in the eye. “Look, everything is going to be fine. You’re just on edge because you’re superstitious as hell and believe every story of castles being cursed ever. You know what’s going to happen? We’re going to get there and because we’re damn good at what we do - far better than most - we’re going to take care of all the traps, fight any monsters we have to and get rich. It’s going to be great and you’re going to have a cool ass mirror for your hoard.”

Philip rolled his eyes, but morphed back into his dragon form and let Daniel load their things onto his back. When he was done they set off, fortunately under the cool cover of night this time. As it was night there were few people awake and outside to see them and even fewer who could actually make out Philip’s dark form blotting out the stars as they soared overhead. Much to Daniel’s dismay, Philip kept the course straight and true, not dilly-dallying to do his usual flips and tricks. They weren’t in a race against time by any stretch of the imagination, but they did have a schedule to keep and he didn’t see much point in wasting time or energy on unnecessary aerial acrobatics.

This left Daniel rather bored during the two hour flights between breaks and after counting his bag of ball bearings for the fifth time (he had 916 every time he counted) he decided to inflict his misery on Philip. So, tell me more about this allegedly haunted castle we’re about to rob he thought casually. He laid back and made a game of trying to keep his eyes on a single star as the soared past them. The sun was just beginning to make its presence known and the sky was now a couple shades lighter than the inky blue it’d been all night. Fortunately, this meant they were going to be landing probably within the hour; unfortunately, this meant that the stars were even harder to stare at which drastically increased the level of Daniel’s game.

Well, I already told you that it’s Waldorf Castle, Philip explained. A couple hundred years back it was owned by the Waldorf family and the daughter married the king, leaving the parents alone in the castle as they had no other children. The story goes that they were really shitty to their servants, so one day the servants all gathered together, stuffed their pockets with as much gold they could carry, and just left. The lord and lady had absolutely no power to punish the servants into coming back, and they were too proud to change their behaviour, so eventually, they wound up dying right there in the castle because they didn’t know how to feed themselves.

Serves them right Daniel snorted. Probably had a loaded pantry and everything, the problem was just between their ears. Imagine starving to death in a castle because you’re too foolish to eat while there are actual people just outside your door starving because you won’t give them food.

It’s just the story Philip shrugged. There’s probably another answer, but I haven’t found one nearly entertaining enough to replace that one.

Daniel snickered for a moment before asking So, what’s the treasure inside like? Surely it’s a spectacle to behold.

Mostly just the normal things you’d find in a castle: Clothes, jewels, gold, and the like. The most interesting thing is the magic mirror the lady allegedly has. Nobody’s quite sure what it does, now or then. It’s got no functionality other than a normal mirror, but it’s got such a magical aura that even non-magic users like you would be able to feel it.

What good does that do anybody?

None, but there have been years of research put into discovering its use, and if I get it that time belongs to me.

So, tell me more about this curse then.

Philip rolled his eyes and snorted, sending a trail of smoke whizzing above Daniel who was glad he wasn’t sat back up. There’s no curse. Yes, a dozen or so parties have tried to get in and failed but that’s no reason to assume it’s cursed. Worst case scenario is that another dragon has taken it as their lair-

We could have has a castle for a lair?!

I could have taken a castle, but I didn’t because caves are more like where I grew up, and they’re easier to hide and protect. Anyway, it could be a dragon, but I haven’t heard anything and if they’re this close to my territory they should have come to see me by now. If it is a dragon it’s a young one, probably just out of the wyrmling stage and after its first lair.

Alright then, no dragons who would actually pose a threat. Got it. Will there at least be traps for me to set off?

Most likely.

Cool. I hope we come across a ghost. I’d love to fight a ghost.

Not really, you wouldn’t.

And why not?

You only have physical weapons. How well do you think punching a ghost is going to go?

You ruin all my fun.

Philip rumbled out a deep laugh from within his belly but said nothing. Instead, after spying a nice clear meadow surrounded by trees for them to camp under, he started to gently dive towards the ground. Once he was on the ground and unloaded, he transformed back to his humanoid shape grinned smugly. “I bet you’re glad I insisted we take those bedrolls now.”

“Well, you were supposed to be a great bloody lizard for me to rest on!”

“That form would have been way more conspicuous,” Philip argued. “Now, help me set up camp.”

Together they managed to set up a crude, easily dismantled shelter for the day and ate their meal. Finally, Philip collapsed across the pile of bedrolls they had set out (he didn’t quite grasp how they worked, but he was happy with his mini bedding hoard) and fell asleep immediately. Daniel joined him after making sure everything was picked up, and just as the first rays of sun peeked over the horizon his eyes slipped closed.

After a few hours of meditation, Daniel looked around and realized that there was absolutely nothing to do, so he closed his eyes again and attempted to sleep. As elves lacked the biological need to sleep, their sleep was different - generally lighter and more fitful - from other creatures, and this was particularly true for Drow who tried to sleep anywhere but the calming darkness of a cave. Thankfully, this quirk was actually far more helpful than detrimental for Daniel this time around.

“Philip, wake up,” he hissed, elbowing his sleeping friend in the side. Philip quickly startled awake with a slurred, “Wassamatter?” to which Daniel replied, “I think somebody found us.”

Philip yawned widely but silenced himself to better hear his surroundings. Everything was quiet for a moment and he was about to tell Daniel to go back to sleep when the sharp crack of a stick breaking jolted him into full alert mode. With a snarl, he rose to his feet, and before he was even stable he fell forwards onto all four dragon legs, his tail lashing back and forth angrily.

“Who’s there?” Daniel called out to the seemingly empty woods, grasping the handle of his short sword. “We know you’re there, and maybe if you come out we won’t hurt you.” Philip snorted at this so Daniel corrected himself. “Okay, we won’t kill you.”

“Oh, we’re not too concerned about you killing us.” Daniel whipped his head around to see a clever looking goblin emerging from the trees and running his fingers over the blade of a scimitar. Behind him, a Goliath and a young aarakocra followed carrying a greatclub and a light hammer. Daniel quickly thought back to the previous day and realized with a groan that these were the people they had overheard. The goblin smirked at the sudden realization on Daniel’s face. “Oh, you do remember us. Yes, we knew you were listening, because I just so happen to have a little device that tells me when unscrupulous people are prying.”

“Look, we don’t mean you any harm-”

“You mean to take our treasure!” the aarakocra interrupted, her voice just as high and sharp from her own beak as it had been from Philip’s. “That’s just as bad!”

“Hush, Resa,” the goliath soothed. “Deyoram and I will handle this.”

The goblin nodded. “Yes, we’ll handle this. Now, if the two of you don’t mind, I’d quite like to see the tail of this one-” he gestured to Philip, “-soaring through the air as the two of you make your way home.”

Philip growled, the sound rumbling in his chest and Daniel smirked. “Well, then it looks like we’ll just have to settle this the old-fashioned way.”

Before anyone else could even think of reacting, the aarakocra raised a taloned hand in the air and three glowing darts flew straight from her palm and into Philip’s side. The dragon scoffed at the weak attempt at harming him and breathed a cone of fire at the three challengers. The aarakocra flapped her wings quickly and only caught the very edge of the attack, but the goliath and goblin didn’t react quickly enough and were surrounded in flames. As soon as the flames subsided, the goblin let out a ferocious cry and rushed Daniel with his scimitar. However, Daniel nimbly stepped out of the way and brought his own sword down in a vicious slash. The goblin cried out in pain and Daniel was about to make another attack, but was buffeted away with a swing of the goliath’s club.

From her position in the air, the aarakocra levelled her crossbow at Philip and let off a shot, which bounced off his thick hide. He returned attack with his claws, attempting to slash her out of the air. After a few missed swipes, Philip caught her with one of his claws and sent her hurtling straight into the ground. After taking a moment to make sure she was still breathing, the goblin growled and slashed his sword at Daniel again. This time the attack caught him right across his belly, sending him stumbling back with a cry of pain. Gritting his teeth, he attacked, smirking when he felt his sword pierce right through a chink in the goblin’s armour. His victory was short lasted, however, because at that very moment the goliath attacked again with a harsh blow across the back of his head.

The aarakocra groaned and with what remained of her energy she cast another spell that created a cloud of daggers that floated and spun about like a swarm of bees. Daniel would have honestly been very impressed if he weren’t too busy being slashed by a hundred knives all at once. Philip had apparently grown tired of the fight because he reared back and shot another cone of fire at their attackers.

When the smoke and fire cleared all three of them were very still and covered in a good amount of soot and none of them were moving, not even when Daniel nudged them with his foot. Smirking he sauntered over to the goblin and rooted around in his pockets until he came across a shiny silver acorn about the size of a date. He quickly pocketed the item, knowing that’s what had tipped their rivals off to the presence of listening ears; this would definitely come in handy.

“Do they have anything good?” Philip asked, once again on two legs.

“Not that I’ve seen,” Daniel admitted as Philip went about searching the bodies. “I found the goblin’s listening device, but you can’t have it for your hoard.”

Philip wrinkled his nose. “Don’t think I’d want it anyways. It may be magical, but those things are fairly common as far as artefacts go.” He also took a moment to nudge the goliath, frowning when they didn’t respond at all. “Did we… did we kill them?”

Daniel frowned and went over to the aarakocra and held his dagger just below her beak. He waited with bated breath for a moment until a tiny cloud of condensation formed on the blade. “Well, the magic user is still alive, and pretty much every magic user at least has access to a healing spell so once she wakes up I’m sure they’ll be fine,” he reasoned, standing and sheathing his weapon. Philip looked almost a little disappointed that he hadn’t managed to actually kill anyone, but Daniel was relieved. He’d manage to live 124 years without killing anyone himself (he’d definitely had a hand in more than a few deaths, but he wasn’t present for them so they didn’t count) and he wasn’t too interested in ending that streak.

“Well, come on, then,” Philip yawned. As usual, as soon as the threat was gone he’d gone right back to his lazy sleepy state. “We’ve got a few more hours of daylight before we can actually get anywhere, and I don’t want to be even close to these fools when they wake up.”

Daniel grunted his agreement and started helping Philip break down their small camp before they set off on foot, making sure to stay in the shade of the trees. If they just so happened to forget a few healing potions then that was their business. By the time the sun had properly set they had made it to a nice open field great for takeoffs and had eaten their fill for their pre-flight meal. Fortunately, they had made it almost two-thirds of the way to the castle the previous night, and after only a half night of flight, they made it to the surrounding forrest. They spent an hour or so setting up a much sturdier camp than they’d had the previous night, then had a good meal. They were just getting comfortable when the first rays of dawn started shining over them.

“So, what all do you think we need to prepare for?” Daniel asked suddenly. “I mean, I know there’s going to be some traps but do you have any idea what kind? You know more about this place than I do.”

Philip huffed, thinking for a moment. “Well, there’s not a dragon in there, that’s for damn sure,” he said eventually. “It’s a lot smaller than most castles, so I don’t think there’s going to be anything too big in there.”

“Will you be able to get in there in your obnoxious lizard form or will you be stuck like this?” Daniel demanded, suddenly a bit more concerned. As a dragon, Philip could take on pretty much anything with no effort, but in his humanoid shape, all of his attacks were much weaker.

Philip shifted uncomfortably, tail lashing back and forth; he was just as - if not more so - uncomfortable as Daniel about fighting like this. “I’m afraid I’ll have to stay like this. If I go in there huge there’s a good chance I’ll wind up knocking in the walls and collapsing the whole thing right down on top of us.”

“Well, that makes things significantly harder,” Daniel frowned. “But you’re right, if you can’t fit in there then likely nothing else will either. Besides, we’ve faced worse challenges before; remember that time you managed to get arrested when we went to Lundy? They put you in adamantine chains and everything.”

“I think you wound up breaking three lockpicks trying to get me out,” Philip chuckled.

“I like to imagine I’ve gotten better at lockpicking by now,” Daniel grinned.

“Oh, what about that time you got kidnapped by mermaids?” Philip recalled fondly.

“That was awful!” Daniel pouted. “My potion was wearing off and I don’t think we even managed to get any treasure from that.”

“I dunno, you came away from it with a nice case of pneumonia.”

“You’re the worst!” Daniel whined. “Now, lay down so I can lay on you. I’m so exhausted I think I may actually sleep for a bit.”

Philip cocked a brow, knowing it was unusual for an elf to be so tired they craved actual sleep. Their fight from earlier must have taken more out of him than either of them realized. However, he didn’t say anything, just turned into his dragon form to enjoy the last few hours he had before he was crammed into his smaller form and stuck in a tiny castle for who knows how long. As he settled, curled up in and around himself, he made sure there was an elf-sized pocket of space, and as expected it didn’t stay empty for long.

Good morning, Daniel he thought lazily as he quickly drifted off to sleep.

Good morning, Philip.

_________

Waking up from a sleep his body actually needed would never stop being a weird sensation for Daniel. When he was just meditating he was very quick to come to his senses when he was done and always felt refreshed and reenergized, but when he woke up from a deep sleep it was like he was moving and seeing the world through a big vat of honey and he somehow always felt more tired than when he went to sleep. The one and the only reason he ever did it, other than light catnaps meant to waste time, was because he knew that the energy he got from sleep would last him longer and make him more alert whenever he was back to full functionality.

Another odd thing was waking up alone when he knew for a fact that he fell asleep surrounded by a dragon. In fact, said dragon was back in his humanoid form checking once again that they had everything they’d need. “Oh, good, you’re up,” he muttered, recoiling the rope in his hands. “You know, for a creature that doesn’t generally require sleep you sure do sleep for a long time. Do you think we should bring torches and or candles?”

Daniel graciously chose to ignore the comment about his sleeping and instead went about eating the breakfast that had been left out for him. “I don’t think so. I mean, the both of us have Darkvision, plus you have Blindvision and you can breathe fire.”

“What if for whatever reason we get separated and you need to light a fire or something?” Philip argued.

Daniel rolled his eyes. “Fine, we’ll take a few torches, but I’m only carrying one. You have to carry the rest.”

Philip scowled, but conceded. “Alright then. Let’s get out of here, shall we?”

“Neither of us is getting any younger,” Daniel shrugged, swallowing the last chunk of bread. He shouldered his bag (which was considered the lighter of the two) and led the way into the woods with a jaunty skip in his step. He hadn’t really done much delving into dungeons in his career as a thief; when he was younger he was much more interested in getting food to survive and when he joined up with Philip he just found that he preferred the challenge of stealing from the living. Philip had done more than his fair share of dungeoneering in his time and had an active distaste for it, but they generally had treasure that even he couldn’t ignore, plus Daniel always got a kick out of a new adventure.

Fortunately, Philip had managed to land a very short, uneventful walk from the castle, and Daniel waltzed right up to the door and yanked as hard as he could on the handle.

It didn’t budge.

Daniel coughed awkwardly and rubbed the back of his neck, trying to hide the rosy blush colouring his normally purple-grey cheeks. “I, uh, I think it’s locked.”

Philip laughed and stepped forward, taking a door in each hand and effortlessly drawing them open. “You loosened it up for me,” he smirked, stepping inside.

Daniel followed close behind, still pink-cheeked and muttering something about being a nasty showoff. Inside the castle was almost pure darkness and as he blinked to better adjust his eyes he thought for a half second about lighting a torch before his pride got the better of him.

Fortunately, Philip took matters into his own hands. “Tiamet, it’s dark in here,” he swore, squinting. “Can’t you do some kind of magic that makes light? I haven’t been somewhere this dark in at least a century.”

Daniel flushed lightly. Yes, all Drow children were capable of and taught how to perform the cantrip Dancing Lights, but he had never been much good at it, and his lights were always dimmer than those of his peer’s. It was a bit of a sore spot to this day. “I’m not sure how much help it will be,” he mumbled, deliberately looking anywhere but at his friend. “Besides, it’s still light enough to see. When it’s so dark I’m blind we’ll talk about using it.”

Sensing Daniel’s reluctance to continue down that line of conversation, Philip charged deeper into the room. The entrance hall was grand with impressive wooden doors on all three side and a pair of grand staircases curving up to the second-floor landing. If he had to guess, at least one of them led to the grand hall and another to an entertainment room and the last to the kitchens. He turned to Daniel and said, “Left, right or centre?”

Daniel puzzled over his choices for a moment, wrinkling his nose before finally saying, “Left.”

They made their way into the room and Philip was delighted to see that he was correct in thinking this was the sitting room. Well, in its prime it had probably been a sitting room, but now it was devoid of anything other than a nearly shredded rug, a couple ugly paintings depicting the previous owners and a nice sized fireplace to keep the inhabitants warm during winter. Apparently, whatever curse was on this place wasn’t good enough to keep thieves out of this room.

He pointed out his observations to Daniel who just snorted. “Come on, this room is a waste of time. Let’s get on with the show.” He led the way on through the door to the next room which appeared to be a smaller dining area, probably for meetings and such. Things continued to be unproductive throughout the following rooms of the great hall and the kitchen, but when they made it to the larder, Daniel found something rather interesting.

“Holy shit!” he exclaimed, throwing himself to the ground and digging under one of the shelves. A moment later he sat up with a delighted expression and a jar clutched containing what looked to be an orange sugar crystal in his hands. “This is mephit honey! This stuff is super hard to come by.”

Philip frowned; he, of course, knew about mephits - the impish little elementals that served no other purpose than to be a nuisance - but he had never heard of them making honey. Humanoids were so strange sometimes. “Surely it’s gone off by now. This place has been abandoned for almost two hundred years.”

Daniel gleefully shook his head. “That’s where you’re wrong! For whatever reason, this stuff never goes bad; I should know, I carried around a jar for years when I was on the run to have as a treat. Right now you would have a hard time eating it because it’s sugared over, but we can melt it and you’ll understand.”

Philip narrowed his eyes suspiciously but took the jar being thrust at him. “And you want me to…?”

“Breathe fire on it? Yes, definitely.”

Still not one hundred percent convinced but still trusting, Philip produced a small flame that licked up and around the jar which he was slowly turning. As if by magic, Philip watched as the crystal inside began to melt until it turned back into liquid. “Holy shit.”

“Yeah,” Daniel beamed. The jar was still very hot so he left it in Philip’s heatproof claws, allowing him to get a better look at it. To be perfectly honest, it looked and seemed to act like normal honey, but it somehow looked… alive. It was a much more orange and red colour as opposed to gold and with the way the light shifted in and around it seemed to glow and swirl around all on its own. “I think this one is from a magma mephit,” Daniel explained. “That usually has a spicier orange taste. It’s still sweet and hard like all mephit honey but it’s got different stuff in it. I had a jar of ice mephit honey and it was kind of minty and bitter.”

“Do you want to have some now?”

Daniel bit his bottom lip. “I don’t know, shouldn’t we be getting this thing done with?”

Philip rolled his eyes and started digging around in his bag for a spoon. “It’s not like we’re on a schedule or something and it’s not like this has to take all night. Have some damn honey.”

Daniel grinned and took the spoonful of honey when it was offered to him and popped it right in his mouth. As predicted, it was sharp and spicy like peppers but had a sour sweetness like oranges. Somehow, it even managed to make his belly and chest feel warm as it went down and he was suddenly assaulted with highly romanticized memories of his time spent wandering the Underdark. “Fuck, you need to try this now,” he moaned, shoving the spoon back to Philip.

Philip chuckled, obviously doubting the endorsement, but as soon as his lips closed around the handle of the spoon his eyes shot open. “Mother of mountains, that’s good,” he mumbled around the spoon still in his mouth, looking like he’d just had a religious experience.

Daniel laughed and took the jar back, ignoring the quiet growl he received. “Come on then. This castle won’t explore itself.”

“Well, we’ve done about all we can down here,” Philip said. “Upstairs it is.”

They made their way back out to the grand entryway and up the stairs. Standing tall and proud at the top were a pair of plate armour suits both holding matching longswords. “I wonder why these haven’t been taken,” Daniel muttered as he investigated the armour.

“Maybe they just assumed they’d get better stuff later,” Philip shrugged. “I mean it’s nice armour and all, but unless you suddenly needed armour I don’t see why you’d want it.”

“Yeah,” Daniel agreed easily, deciding it was time they moved on.

However, the castle apparently the castle had decided it wasn’t time to move on. As soon as they stepped off the balcony to investigate there was a loud creaking as a quiet whistle and they both turned around. The armour had suddenly sprung to life and was swaying back and forth like it was being worn by someone made of porridge while the swords were up in the air slashing about as easily as when a master swordsman held them.

Daniel grinned at Philip and pulled out his shortsword. “Honestly I’m rather glad something has happened on this trip. It was getting dull.” Without waiting for a response he quickly lunged forward to attack the suit of armour nearest to him but completely missed. “Um… whoops?”

Philip rolled his eyes and swiped at a sword with his claws. The hit landed perfectly and sent it spinning through the air to hit the other sword which didn’t much appreciate getting hit and flew back with a wide slash that Philip was lucky enough to block with the thick hide of his tail.

As if it was only just now understanding what was happening, the suit of armour Daniel had attacked slammed its entire weight against him, sending the drow sprawling to the floor with the wind knocked from his lungs. Following the attack, the sword Philip hit slashed down at him as well, making him cry out.

At the sound of Daniel’s distress, Philip glanced over which gave the second suit of armour a chance to attack. The first time it threw itself against him he was able to keep standing, but it attacked again and this time he was sent stumbling back. Fortunately, as it was about to attack for the third time, Daniel swooped in and smacked it away with the flat of his sword and it collapsed in a heap.

Philip growled under his breath, growing tired of this fight. Noticing that the remaining suit of armour and the two swords were conveniently right next to one another, he sucked in a deep breath and let out a blisteringly hot cone of flames. When the flames died down, the only things left indicating there had been anything there in the first place were a few charred - mostly beyond recognition - piles of metal. Philip smirked, pleased with his work. “Let’s get going, shall we?”

Daniel crossed his arms and pouted but followed along. “You always manage to get the final hit in with your dumb fire breath,” he whined.

“Benefits of adventuring with a dragon, I suppose,” Philip mused, wandering towards the left.

The first room they came across was bare save for the giant bed frame dominating the space. Assuming it had at one point been a bedroom, Daniel frowned, noticing something was off. “Philip, we’re pointed north, yeah?”

There was a grunt of agreement as he dug through a mostly empty trunk.

“People usually put windows on the north wall to keep cool in summer, yeah?”

Another grunt.

“Then why haven’t we seen a single god damn window in this place?”

Philip suddenly looked up, what once had been a fine silk scarf in one hand. “What did you say?”

Daniel gestured at the wall before them which was flat stone and nothing else. “There haven’t been any windows on this place at all. The great hall, kitchen, hell there wasn’t even one in the larder.”

“That… is odd, yes,” Philip admitted slowly. He stepped forward and placed an ear to the wall, rapping on it slightly. “It’s empty on the other side.”

“Well, if it’s leading out to the woods, yeah, it’s empty.”

“No, there’s definitely a room on the other side,” Philip argued. “The stone is warmer than it would be if it lead straight outside.”

“Is it a servant’s passage?” Daniel guessed.

Philip frowned. “No, I don’t think so. Look at the corners of the room. I don’t think this wall was put in by professionals.”

“Do you think it’s part of the traps this place is known for? Because other than that armour there haven’t been many traps.”

“Could be,” Philip shrugged. “Could be nothing. We’ll have to find the entrance to know for sure.”

Daniel hummed in agreement, shoving a nice enough looking gold candlestick in his bag. They left that room and continued on to the next room, whose door looked much more imposing and regal. “Lord and lady’s room?” he guessed. He reached out to turn the knob, but it refused to budge. “Oh, yeah?” he muttered, crouching down and pulling out his lock picking kit. “You want to keep me out? We’ll see about that.” He fiddled about with the long delicate tools before he heard the ever-satisfying click of a lock being opened. However, as he was about to pull the tools out there came the dreaded clunk of a lock being fastened and the near-silent snap of his tools breaking cleanly in half.

Everything was silent for a moment before Philip said, “Well, that was unexpected.”

Daniel scowled up at him as he gathered his remaining tools. “Oh, really? I  would never have guessed. Next, you’ll be telling me that you spit fire during battles or something.”

Philip snarled, but Daniel just narrowed his eyes further, completely unintimidated. “Sulking like this will solve nothing,” he said instead. “It’s obviously got some kind of enchantment on it that keeps the lock from being opened. Now, if there’s a magic lock, there must be some kind of magic key we can find.”

Daniel sighed deeply but grudgingly agreed. The rooms to the left were much the same as the first one they came across, empty save for a few trinkets they took for themselves. Philip found a glass ball full of smoke that swirled around, a golden whistle and an odd stone block that was somehow weightless. Daniel came away with a shard of obsidian that burned his hand when he held it, a set of bone pipes, a solid silver skull about the size of a coin and a multi-coloured stone disk. He planned on selling the skull and pipes in town, but Philip said the obsidian and disk were charged with spells he could potentially use in battle.

They made it back around to the right half of the floor and found a room that appeared to have a second room attached to it. Daniel went to open it until there was a loud grunt and the sound of something very big sitting down on something very small. He turned back to Philip a bit pale-faced and shook his head.

“You don’t want to go investigate it?” Philip hissed quietly.

“Not particularly, no,” Daniel squeaked, quickly shuffling towards the door. “You can go in and have fun getting the shit kicked out of you by whatever is in there, but I’m going to be not here.”

Philip rolled his eyes but he, too, saw the error in picking a fight they didn’t exactly need to be in. They both made their way back into the hall and up the flight of stairs conveniently right next to where they were. The highest floor of the castle also appeared to be the bleakest . While it was true that the other two floors showed definite signs of wear and theft, they also had a distinct feeling that they at least used to be elegant with the ornate rugs and furniture and paintings. This floor, however, was completely stone from what Philip could see and had never been anything but the bare essentials. “I think we found the servants’ quarters.”

“Yeah,” Daniel murmured back, wandering up the main hall of the floor. When he got to two doors, one on either side of the hall, he opened the right and walked into what used to be the servants’ sleeping chambers, complete with a chest of belongings. “Philip, come here! I think I’ve found something!”

Philip came as he was called, but unfortunately, Daniel’s call hadn’t only alerted him. From the beds appeared a sleepy looking, but very large bugbear. When they finished blinking the sleep from their eyes, they focused on Daniel and Philip and let out a shout of alarm.

Philip leapt into action, hitting the creature in the stomach with his tail, cutting their cry for help off in a gurgle. Daniel quickly pounced on the winded bugbear, both daggers out and stabbed them right in the chinks of the armour. The bugbear roared in pain before bringing the morning star in their hands straight down on Daniel’s back twice. The first hit landed painfully, but Daniel managed to drop down to the floor and dodge out of the way of the second attack so it instead landed on the bugbear.

While they tussled Philip took an opportunity to morph his mouth into a much more dragon shape, which he then snapped down on the bugbear’s arm as they reached back to swing at Daniel again. While Philip had it restrained, Daniel drew his sword and with a decisive movement, stabbed it into the bugbear’s side.

“Enough!” the bugbear growled out. “I forfeit, you win! Take what you want and go!”

Daniel and Philip shared a quick glance and a nod before Philip brought a fist down on the top of their head, knocking them unconscious. They glanced up at one another and made eye contact for a moment before they both burst out into snickering. “Come on, show me what they were protecting!”

Philip chuckled and went over to the three small chests gathered in the corner and began to dig through them. However, it seemed that with everything he found he became more and more frustrated. “It’s garbage!” he declared. “It’s all garbage! The most interesting thing in here is a broken sword hilt and a knitting needle that claims to be unbendable, but there’s no mate.”

“What?” Daniel snapped, stomping over to investigate. Philip was right and all three chests were virtually empty and among the few things he did see were empty bottles, a bit of faded parchment, and a tiny cage. “This is all useless; we can’t even sell it!”

“I know,” growled Philip, more than a little displeased. He stood in a huff and hissed at the unconscious bugbear for wasting his time while Daniel went about collecting his daggers from their back. “Come on, maybe there’s something actually half decent across the hall.”

However, it seemed that they hadn’t managed to halt the bugbear’s call of alarm early enough before because just outside were two dire wolves sniffing around trying to find some way to help their now fallen master. Before either of them could react, one of the wolves leapt at Philip’s teeth bared, but the dragon simply grasped it in his claws and sent it skittering down the hall. The second wolf snarled and attacked Daniel who stepped aside and stabbed it with the daggers still in his hands.

“We don’t have time for this,” Daniel snapped, shoving away the first wolf back towards its pack mate. “Roast them for Lolth’s sake!”

Philip nodded then took in a deep breath and let out a bright cone of red-hot fire. One of the wolves made it out of the blast only mostly on fire, but before it could do anything Daniel swept in and stabbed it with his daggers. The dire wolf let out a short whimper of pain before collapsing with the other. Without a second glance, they made it into the other room which was a direct mirror of the other and most likely served the same purpose. Even the chests were in the same spot and they eagerly dove into them to see what they could find.

“Oh, this is much better!” Daniel crowed, pulling out a pair of statues. One was of a rather smug halfling, but the other was of some creature straight from his nightmares which he showed to Philip. “Okay, I don’t know much about magic, but this one creeps me the hell out so there has to be some kind of magic on it.”

Philip glanced up from the painted egg display he was delicately clutching in his claws and actually flinched when he saw what Daniel was holding out to him. “I’ve had one of those used on me. It’s got some kind of necromancy spell put on it, and judging by the vibe I’m getting from it, it’s a pretty powerful one. Have you seen this egg? It’s wonderful!”

Daniel peered in close enough to see that every bit of the shell had been carefully hand-painted with scenes of human suffering in horrifying detail. It made him a little sick to his stomach, but even he could see the time and effort that went into making it and that was exactly what Philip loved more than anything. “It’s great.”

Philip carefully put it in his pack and picked up a vest that looked to be covered in at least a hundred near uselessly tiny pockets, but tossed it back into the box. “Well, I think that’s all we’re going to get here, yeah?”

“Onwards, then,” Daniel grinned, leading the way back into the hall. Luckily there wasn’t anything waiting for them this time and they made it to the overcrowded dining area unmolested. “What the fuck happened in here?”

“The wall collapsed,” Philip said unhelpfully.

Daniel glared at him before going in so he could closer investigate. As Philip had pointed out, the wall had fallen in right near the corner of the room. As he looked around he noticed that the other side of the wall was empty and led into a long narrow hallway. “You know, I’m sorry I criticized you for wanting to bring torches because it’s way too dark in here for me.”

Philip smirked at once again being right as he too came to look at the wall. “I guess this was the servants' passage at one time,” he noted.

“I bet it has a way into that room downstairs,” Daniel grinned, already stepping over the rubble into the passage. “Hand me a torch.” Philip rolled his eyes but handed over a lit torch. Daniel looked around for a bit before his eyes settled on a pile of rocks that was probably supposed to be the stairs. “Well, I guess we’re not going that way.”

“Left it is then!” Philip said cheerfully, walking off. Before he got even a couple metres away he stopped and said, “Ah. Well, I think we’ve finally found the thing that actually turns people away from this place.”

Daniel cautiously stepped forward to see lots of spikes. They were all at least knee high and wickedly sharp, and they completely filled the corridor from wall to wall and down a good five or so metres. “Can’t you just fly us across?”

“Normally, yes, but this hall is too narrow for me to spread my wings.”

Daniel frowned a moment in thought before he snapped, grinning. “I’ve got an idea. Sit on the floor with your feet flat to the wall.”

Philip narrowed his eyes but did as he was told as Daniel did the exact same thing behind him. “All right, now what?”

“Push against my back at like a quarter strength and when I say ‘go’ take a step with your right, my left foot. Okay? Go!” To both of their surprise, they managed to get the one foot off the ground. “Okay, next one!” Again it worked. “Next!” They somehow managed to actually walk their way up the walls of the narrow hall until they comfortably cleared the spikes. “Okay, now we’re going to go down the hall.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“Do you trust me?”

“Against my better judgement, yes.”

“Then we go down the hall.”

It was slow, difficult work, and Daniel actually slipped once, but they did make it. When they were back on flat ground Daniel brushed his hands off with a look of surprise. “Wow. I thought for sure we wouldn’t be able to do that.”

Philip turned on the young drow and got very close to his face. “If you do anything like that ever again I won’t have to worry about spikes killing you because I’ll do it myself,” he hissed, and Daniel at least had the decency to look sheepish.

“Everything’s fine though?” he said cautiously. Philip just growled and he quickly and wisely shut his mouth.

Fortunately, Philip’s attention was grabbed by a set of three gold chests in what should have been the corner tower of the castle. After giving Daniel one final glare he made his way over and tried to open one of them. Unfortunately, it was locked as would be expected so Daniel knelt down beside it and started fiddling with his lockpick set again. With a resounding click, the chest swung open and he moved on, meeting a similar success.

“Oh, yes, this is much better,” Philip cooed, pulling a long sword inscribed with runes from its sheath. “I may actually use a weapon if it looks as nice as this.”

Daniel smirked, grabbing a small pouch of fine, black dust. “Do you know what this is? This is Dust of Disappearing This is going to be so useful when we actually have to sneak into someplace.”

Philip hummed in delight as he investigated the armour he had found and thought about how it would look tossed on his hoard. He gathered up the rest of the useful items, including a lantern that turned invisible things visible, a second set of daggers in case anything happened to Daniel’s, and a wand used for detecting magic. “Come on; now that I know there’s useful stuff in here I’m a bit more excited about the rest of this place.” He started confidently strutting down the hall, but he didn’t get more than ten steps away when his foot suddenly slipped out from under him. Eyes wider than they had ever been, Philip fell straight on his ass in the least graceful tumble of any dragon any time anywhere.

“O-oh my fuck,” Daniel positively cackled, leaning against a wall and clutching his sides. “You should have seen your face!”

Philip scowled, refusing to acknowledge the warmth blooming under his cheek scales, as he carefully scooted along the floor until he was on normal ground and could stand. “Okay, so slicked floor. How do you suggest we get across this time?”

Daniel just grinned and started running towards the slick floor. Just before he hit unstable land he leapt in the air, pulled a tight flip and landed in a power slide which sent him whizzing down the hall. When he got to the end his feet hit friction first and he turned a somersault and landed perfectly on his feet. “I’d recommend doing it just like that!”

Philip grumbled something about show off elves and how they’d get their comeuppance as he gingerly stepped onto the slicked floor. Clinging to the wall with all his strength he slid forward one foot at a time, slowly but steadily making his way to safety and completely ignoring Daniel’s heckling for him to hurry up.

“Took you long enough, old man,” Daniel sneered.

“Well, that’s certainly no way to treat your elders,” a rough, high-pitched voice said from behind him.

“No, it’s not,” agreed another, deeper and more gravely than the first.

Daniel whipped around to see what looked like the statues of two hulking dog demons standing in the corner, facing towards one another as if they were gossiping. “Did you hear that? I could have sworn someone said something,” he asked, stepping forward to investigate. “Is anyone behind there? Come out and talk if you think you’re so clever.”

“Oh, we know we’re clever,” the high voice said.

“However, it’s quite obvious by now you aren’t,” the deep one added.

Philip scowled at the statues for a moment before his eyes widened and he shouted, “Daniel, look out! Those aren’t statues, they’re-”

“We’re gargoyles!” the high voice delighted as the other gargoyle darted its arms forwards to ensnare Daniel in a tight, bruising grip sinking its claws into his sides as he let out a pained yelp. The first gargoyle took its chance to attack Philip while he was distracted with Daniel’s situation, managing to get a deep gash across his arm. Snarling, Philip retaliated with a cone of fire right in its stone face causing it to leap back to its partner wailing “That hurt!”

“Don’t make this any worse than it has to be,” the other said slowly and sunk his claws deeper in Daniel’s side. “Leave the loot where you found it and get out and we’ll let both of you live.”

“Yeah! Maybe we’ll let you live!”

“You think you can kill me?” Philip snarled, fanning his wings as far as they’d go and puffing out his chest. “I think you’ll find that I can eat a pair of gargoyles like you for a mid-afternoon snack.”

“That’s true, but your friend here doesn’t seem to be as sturdy as you are,” the second pointed out, nodding at Daniel.

Philip growled lowly in his chest at the now very real threat. He was a dragon for the mountain’s sake! How dare these puny monsters challenge him or threaten his charge? He was about to tell them they had crossed the wrong dragon on the wrong day when his gaze fell on Daniel who had been squirming in the gargoyle’s grasp the whole time. Clever drow that he was he had somehow managed to worm his hand into the pocket he was storing his multi-coloured stone in and had his fingers pressed on the yellow section. Philip turned his attention back to the gargoyles with a smarmy grin. “You’d be surprised at how he overcomes his lack of sturdiness.”

The first gargoyle wrinkled its face. “And just what is that-”

It was very suddenly interrupted by a cube of lightning emanating from Daniel’s stone, freeing him and sending the two gargoyles hurtling back into the wall. “Let’s go,” he gasped, grabbing Philip’s arm and dragging him away from the fight. “Let’s go now!”

Philip quickly followed behind him, more focused on shielding Daniel (who wasn’t looking so great after three fights and getting captured by stone monsters) from any attacks from behind. Unfortunately, because he was so focused on protecting Daniel and Daniel so focused on just getting away, neither of them noticed Philip stepping on a pressure plate. With absolutely no warning, the floor tilted down into a chute that sent them bouncing against walls as they made their unwitting way down, down, down. As if to add insult to injury (or maybe injury to insult) there were four light hammers on the way down all positioned to perfectly smack both of them right between the eyes.

As soon as they were on solid ground Daniel collapsed face first to the floor clutching his forehead. “This is the worst day of my life!” he wailed, rolling back and forth.

Philip rubbed his forehead as well, but mostly in sympathy as he knew the damage didn’t affect him as much as it did his friend. “I think it may be time to heal up,” he said in a gentle voice even Daniel rarely got to hear. Daniel, in turn, just whimpered a bit and allowed himself to be propped right side up against a wall while Philip dug in his bag for one of the health potions he’d insisted Daniel bring along. “Come on then,” he nearly cooed tilting the blue mixture into Daniel’s mouth. As soon as the liquid touched his tongue, Daniel started convulsing but Philip managed to make him drink the whole thing and slapped a hand over his mouth to keep him from spitting it back up.

When he finally swallowed the last of it, Daniel gave a mighty shudder and shoved Philip’s hand away so he could curl up in a ball. “I hate that stuff,” he panted, trying to regain his breath as he recovered from the health potion.

“Well, do you at least feel any better?”

Daniel was quiet for a moment as if taking inventory before he shrugged. “I mean I feel like death but I don’t feel like I’m about to die from getting the shit kicked out of me.”

Philip chuckled and handed him the waterskin to at least help wash the taste out of his mouth. “Well, you up for starting again or do you want to call it quits and go home?”

Daniel shoved himself up and looked around. “Can we even get out?” he wondered. “I have no idea where the world’s shittiest slide dumped us on our asses.”

Not a moment after Daniel said that Philip noticed a smell on the air: old ashes. “I… I think I might actually know where we are,” he said cautiously, following his nose towards the corner. Sure enough, when he found where the scent was strongest he noticed a little hole no bigger than Daniel’s pinky in the mortar of the wall. Curious, he stuck a claw in the hole and started scratching until it was wide enough for him to look through. “Yeah, we’re right outside of the kitchen.”

“That’s neat and all and I’m super interested that you managed to figure out where we are,” Daniel said, far more interested in the treasure he’d found. Most of it had just been gems and coins, but two things had garnered his attention. “Listen to this it’s kinda fucked up.” He put a small rectangle box of metal to Philip’s ear, and much to the dragon’s horror he soon heard the scuttering of a hundred spiders. “Cool, isn’t it?” Daniel grinned, taking it away. “And look! This is like a reverse flint. It sparks when wet!”

Philip cocked a brow at his excited companion, again wondering how he always managed to go from being on Death’s door to rambunctious and eager to start any fight he thought he could win. “That’s super useful. Too bad you don’t have someone who can literally breathe fire, that’d be really convenient.”

Daniel rolled his eyes. “Shove off. I almost died; I’m allowed to have all the fun I want.” Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a light glinting at the end of the hall. “Come on, maybe there’s a way out this way.”

Philip nodded and they were almost to the end when they heard someone talking. “Do you smell it, Lucy,” an oily male voice cooed. “Can you find it for me, darling?” There was a deep bark for an answer. “What was that? You say we have visitors?”

Daniel froze, back instinctively against the wall. He motioned for Philip to do the same and he did, both of them holding their breath.

“You’re here, I know you are,” the oily voice said. “I can hear you and Lucy smelled you.” The creature stepped forward and Daniel took a sharp breath in for they were being hunted by an imp - a small, bright red man with bat wings and a scorpion tail. The imp heard Daniel’s breath and he turned so their noses were right next to each other. “Found you,” he said with a nasty grin.

Philip went to attack him, but he apparently heard him coming because with a snap of the fingers he was invisible. “Get out here and fight, you coward.”

“Oh, don’t worry, I will,” the imp cooed. “I just wanted to make sure Lucy got her fair share, too.” Daniel and Philip turned around to see a giant black dog with fire in her eyes and foam around her six-inch fangs. The imp appeared with another snap of the fingers. “Get ‘em, girl.” The hellhound bonded forward, fangs bared and pounced on Philip, who snarled in pain as she sunk her teeth into his shoulder. Daniel went to attack the beast with his drawn sword, but a sharp sting in his thigh brought him down to his knees. When he turned the imp just grinned at him and snapped out of sight.

“Make him visible!” Philip snarled, slashing at the hellhound with his own claws and teeth.  

“How?!”

“I don’t know, maybe some fucking magic!”

“Right, right!” Daniel took a deep breath and focused all he had on the childhood memory of learning magic with his peers. He ignored his past failures at performing the spell and concentrated on the spell itself. Suddenly, everything was glowing with a brilliant violet light, including the hellhound Philip had by now soundly bested, and the imp. Who happened to be right in front of him.

“Well, shit,” the imp muttered under his breath.

Daniel just grinned and slashed him with his sword which sent him stumbling towards Philip who took great pleasure in smacking him against the wall with his tail. There was a large puff of smoke that cleared as quickly as it appeared, taking the imp and hellhound with it. “I have to admit, I was impressed with the magic,” Philip grinned. “I thought you said you’d never do magic.”

Daniel sputtered indignantly. “You’re the one who told me to!”

“I was actually expecting you to use the lantern,” Philip shrugged. “You know, the one we just got that turns invisible things visible?”

Daniel slapped his hands to his face and rubbed his eyes. “I forgot we had that.”

Philip just chuckled and nudged him gently. “Come on, this way was a dead end. Grab what we can from the chests and let’s go.” Within the chests, he managed to find a shelter orb that would fetch a nice price on the market along with a faintly glowing crystal that wasn’t magic, but that he could probably convince someone was.

“These are for you,” Daniel muttered, distracted, shoving a set of pretty earrings shaped like teardrops at him as he investigated the pair of daggers in his other hand. “Holy shit I think this is a poison dagger.”

“Can I see?” Philip requested. Daniel grunted and handed one over while he went through the rest of the stuff, shoving anything that looked even remotely valuable in his bag. Philip returned the dagger when he was done investigating it and with an impressed nod said, “Yeah, it’s definitely poisonous; magic, too. Keep an eye on that thing.”

Daniel nodded and attached the sheaths to either side of his belt, then turned and made his way back down the hall. Things were quiet as they made their way back to where they had been, and on down the hall, but just before they got to the corner, Daniel heard some unfortunately familiar chattering. “Quiet,” he hissed. “There’s some mephits down in the corner. If we’re careful we can get the jump on them.”

“What kind of mephits?”

“Probably magma if the mephit honey is any indication.”

Philip scowled. “I’m guessing fire won’t be super helpful here, then.”

Daniel bit his lip in thought before snapping his fingers and retrieving the multi-coloured stone disk. “You said this had Ray of Frost on it, yeah? Magma mephits hate that shit.”

Philip nodded and took the stone. “So I’m guessing we’re doing a range attack?”

“Yeah,” Daniel said, pulling out his sling. He didn’t use it often, but he was rather glad of it now. “On three? One… two… three.”

As one, they leapt into action, Philip shooting a spell at the one on the left while Daniel shot a rock at the one on the right. Unfortunately, Daniel didn’t do quite as much damage as he’d hoped with his sling and the two mephits that Philip didn’t freeze near solid didn’t enjoy being attacked, and the one in the middle that hadn’t gotten hit yet flew straight at Philip while the other shot a cone of flame right at them. Fortunately, Philip managed to step in front of Daniel so he could take the worst of the damage.  

Before the flames even managed to completely die down Daniel leapt over Philip’s shoulder with his sword drawn, slashing it across the startled mephit’s chest, then ducked down to allow Philip to follow up with a harsh smack with his tail sending it flying back. The third mephit had by now defrosted itself and together the three of them breathed fire at Daniel and Philip. Philip bent forward to shield Daniel with his wings, but one of his legs got caught in the worst of the flames. However, this didn’t stop Daniel because he dashed forward and slashed all three of them with one stroke.

As soon as he did two of the mephits began to shake violently and Philip had barely enough time to grab Daniel tight to his chest and turn around before they both exploded. The final mephit shrieked and swooped in for an attack, but Philip held up the stone and shot another Ray of Frost at it, freezing it solid so it couldn’t explode.

“Okay, so maybe attacking three fire-breathing elementals with no cover while my fire-proof friend had to jump in to keep me from being charbroiled wasn’t the best idea,” Daniel said after a moment of silence.

Philip snorted and shoved him good-naturedly. “If you crave death so much you could just tell me; that way I’d at least get a good meal out of the deal.”

Daniel barked out a startled laugh and stumbled off to see if he could find something of value in the mephits’ nest of three chests. He threw open the middle one and was delighted to find a full set of Sylvan battle regalia including armour, shield, and a scimitar. It was all very pretty and somehow even the leather armour and wooden shield managed to shine with a rainbow pearlescence. He quickly shod his regular armour and posed with his arms out. “What do you think?”

“You look lovely,” Philip said, not bothering to look up and instead focusing on the chest to the left. Daniel was about to get upset over the lack of attention but Philip interrupted him by saying, “Do we have some kind of stick somewhere?”

Daniel frowned and bent forward to investigate the chest as well. He could tell there was definitely something wrong but he’d be damned if he could put a finger on it. “Er, not that I know of? I mean we have a couple of swords, but I don’t think those would be very helpful?”

Philip bit his lower lip and squinted harder at the box as if that would help him unlock its secrets. “Okay, so we’re going to back way up and you’re going to shoot both of these boxes with your sling, okay?”

Daniel nodded and once they were a safe distance away he grabbed another rock from the ground and hurled it towards the chest on the left, hitting it with a resounding thunk. As soon as the rock made contact, the lid of the chest flew open to reveal a set very sharp teeth and a long sticky looking purple tongue. It thrashed about for a moment trying to find its prey but when there was nothing to be found it quieted down and went back to looking just like a regular chest. White-faced, Daniel looked up at Philip who nodded and he sent another rock flying at the other chest which did the exact same thing as the other.

When the chests were completely still Daniel whirled around to face Philip. “What were those things?”

“Mimics,” Philip said gruffly. “They sit around looking like normal chests but if you try to open one they eat you.” “Why haven’t I ever seen one before?”

Philip shrugged. “We normally rob places that still have people living in them. Mimics usually only go for places that have been abandoned.”

“Well, I’m sure as fuck glad I’ve never had to deal with one,” Daniel shuddered. “How did you even know they were there?”

“I didn’t, that’s the thing. They’re impossible to distinguish from a normal chest until they attack; that’s why I had you attack them first. I just smelled something off in that corner and I wasn’t willing to risk it.” He grinned, all of his abnormally pointy teeth showing. “Normally I would have just let you open it so I could see the look on your face when you were attacked by a box, but we’ve already had one close call today. How are you doing, by the way?”

Daniel grimaced at the reminder of their fight with the mephits. “Well, considering I’ve been caught mostly on fire twice in the past ten minutes after drinking a health potion that feels more like poison than anything I’m doing pretty good.”

Philip narrowed his eyes. “And on an objective scale?”

“Probably somewhere around a twenty-nine out of seventy.”

Philip snorted out a laugh. “I have no idea where you got those numbers but I think you’re gonna be fine for now.”

“Honestly I’ll say just about anything to keep you from forcing that health potion down my throat.”

Philip thumped him on the forehead. “How’s this: I won’t make you take it until we come up against something I don’t want to fight.”

“Yeah, but you want to fight everything.”

“Well, then it’s your lucky day.” Daniel chuckled and Philip smiled and shoved him down the hall. “Go on. And be careful you don’t accidentally knock into one of those things.”

Daniel made a face at the mere thought of touching one of those monsters, and with his eyes narrowed at them and his back flush to the wall he scooted past with Philip following behind as normal. He made his way around the corner and let out a deep sigh. “More spikes,” he warned Philip. “And this time they’re in a pit. Since you didn’t seem to care for my solution of getting over them last time, why don’t you figure it out?”

Philip snorted. If I recall correctly you carry around a set of pitons. You could just scale the wall like a normal person.”

Daniel pouted but fished the small spikes from his bag. “You sure know how to suck the fun right out of everything,” he muttered, quickly and skillfully making his way across the pit. When he was on the other side he turned to Philip who was still in the same spot. “Well? What now? How are you getting over here?”

“You’ll see!” Philip called back, grinning. He looked over the pit once more just to be sure he could do what he was planning, then he took a deep breath and ran as fast as he could.

When his foot hit the very edge of the floor he pushed off with both legs with all his strength, sending him hurtling through the air towards Daniel. However, the pit was a good ten feet long and even at his best he had no hopes of clearing it with a mere jump, so when he felt himself start to fall he unfurled his wings as wide as the hall would let him and flapped tucking into a backflip and landed perfectly safe on the other side.

Daniel narrowed his eyes and shoved him in the chest. “Bloody show off you are.”

Philip grinned and bowed. “Don’t worry, even at my worst I’m nothing next to you.” Daniel just sputtered, his blush dark enough that it even coloured his grey skin. Philip snickered and pulled him along by the shoulder. “Let’s go the stairs are right there, and I bet we can get out of here if we make it to the next floor.”

Daniel grunted and moved ahead, starting up the stairs. He very suddenly wished he hadn’t gone up first when about halfway up the step beneath his foot suddenly gave way sending him tumbling forward and his left foot dropped into a hole lined with wickedly pointed knives all facing downwards. The blades had torn his leather boots to ribbons and he could already feel tiny cuts all the way up to his knee so in a tiny voice he squeaked out, “Uh, Philip? Can I get some help please?”

Philip wrinkled his brow in confusion but when he looked down and saw the problem he went a bit pale. “Well, shit.”

Daniel cackled hysterically. “Have I ever told you I fucking hate dungeons? There’s never any decent shit in here because everybody’s already taken it,  there are traps fucking everywhere, and monsters of every shape and size crawling all over the damn place. I really just want to get this fucking mirror and go home so we can swear to only rob living people. I hate this.”

“I know,” Philip rumbled as soothingly as possible. “I know you hate it and as soon as we get out of here I promise you never have to go in another dungeon for the rest of your life.” He reached down into the hole to grab one of the knives and started wiggling it back and forth to break it. “Now if you just hold still-”

“What are you doing?” Daniel screeched, grabbing fistfuls of Philip’s hair. “I swear to fuck if you make me lose my leg I will de-wing you! You’ll never fly again!”

Philip rolled his eyes and managed to snap the blade off its holster and slapped it on the ground. “There. Happy? Now, hold still.” Unfortunately, the remaining eleven knives didn’t go quite as smoothly; Philip’s hand was severely cut up and Daniel got stabbed in the calf more than once, but Daniel was free. Philip took one look at Daniel’s leg and winced. “Okay, so you definitely need another potion if you even want to make it to the top of the stairs.”

“I won’t even argue with you,” Daniel panted, eyes screwed up in pain. He grabbed one of his remaining potions and uncorked it with his teeth then proceeded to drink the entire thing. As usual, it took a moment for it to settle in his stomach but when it did he had to clap a hand over his mouth to keep from being sick. However, it did do exactly as advertised and his leg magically stitched itself back together; it wasn’t perfectly healed, but it would be enough to get him out of this damn castle and home where he could rest. “How are you doing?”

“Fine,” Philip said, staring at his palm. He focused for a moment on all the magic coursing through his body that kept him alive and directed it to his injuries which started to fade until they were just faint red marks. “Alright, no more games, we need to get out of here. Follow behind me.”

Daniel nodded and Philip marched up the stairs, careful to test every step with his tail before putting any weight on it. They made their way up to the next floor without any issue. Daniel tried to pass him as to take the lead as usual, but Philip stuck out an arm to hold him back and glared. He took a step forward and right onto a pressure plate that sent a hailstorm of ball bearings raining down right on him causing him to lose his balance. He turned and glared at Daniel who had started giggling like this was the funniest thing he had ever seen.

“Holy shit I’m so glad that was you and not me,” he wheezed between laughs. “I just don’t think I could take being on the shit end of another one of these traps without straight up bawling my eyes out.”

Philip growled but his glare lessened as he shakily made his way back to his feet. This was even worse than that time Daniel had dragged him out to that frozen lake so they could slide around on the ice. “We need to figure out how to get across.”

“You need to figure it out,” Daniel corrected. “I already know what I’m doing.” Without another word, he tied his rope around Philip’s waist and ever so gracefully glided across the slippery marbles.

He very slowly started to pull Philip along but the moment he started to move Philip fell to the floor with a loud thump. “Just drag me like this,” he sighed, draping one arm over his eyes while Daniel giggled and tugged him along. Eventually, but not soon enough to save his pride, he was back on his feet. “Let’s, er, let’s go,” he mumbled. Daniel once again tried to take the lead, but Philip grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and dragged him back.

This was rather convenient because as soon as Daniel was behind him an arrow whizzed through the air directly where he was standing. Philip whirled around and snarled with his wings spread out to brush either side of the corridor and keep Daniel from view. He narrowed his eyes to see further down the hall and as he did another arrow came at them, but missed by a mile. From the gloom two gnolls emerged, their hulking furry bodies hunched over at the shoulder and saliva dripping from their snouts.

Before Philip had any time to react, Daniel had scrambled up his back and thrown both of his daggers at each of the creatures, piercing each one in the thigh. “Can’t you sit back for two minutes?” Philip scoffed, rolling his eyes. He took one look at the gnolls and decided that any time spent fighting them was time wasted, so he took in a deep breath and roasted both gnolls in one go.

“No fair, you ruined my daggers,” Daniel scowled, investigating the blackened blades that used to be his knives. “I mean, they were the extra ones that we picked up, but I still liked them.”

Philip scoffed and picked them up and put them in Daniel’s bag, unaffected by their scorching heat. “Once they cool off they’ll be fine for throwing. Just don’t throw around your good ones like that.”

Daniel scoffed under his breath but sulkily followed behind Philip who found the gnolls’ bag that he presumed they had been stuffing with the loot they had come across. “Hey, you know how to use a crossbow, yeah?” Philip asked handing over the weapon. “I’m pretty sure that one’s got some magic on it, too.”

Daniel frowned but took the crossbow to examine it. “Yeah, I know how to use one,” he said, stashing it in his own bag. “I don’t like using them though. I much prefer one on one when I can.”

“Don’t I know it,” Philip grumbled under his breath; Daniel pursed his lips and smacked him on the back of the head. “What is this thing? I saw you looking at one in town the other day.”

Daniel snatched up the long, thin metal tube and grinned so wide his cheeks hurt. “This, dear Philip,” he said grandly, “is a Chime of Opening. You can use it to unlock anything.”

Philip cocked a brow. “You think it would work on the main chambers?”

“Only one way to find out.” He then tugged the bag away so he could look through it himself. “Holy shit, they had the best stuff! Look at this!”

Philip puckered his lips as he investigated the tattered-looking hat in Daniel’s hands. “And that is?”

“I’ll show you.” Daniel slapped the hat on his head and after the resulting puff of magic cleared, Philip found himself looking at… well, himself. “Ta-da!” the false Philip said in Daniel’s voice.

“Well, I’ll be damned,” Philip said, clearly impressed while Daniel took the hat off and returned to his normal self. “Anything else of note?”

“Actually, yes,” Daniel said, producing a ring to show Philip. “I think this may be of interest to you?”

Philip inspected the ring in delight. “If this is what I think it is, it could prove to be rather useful.”

Daniel cocked his head. “What is it? I thought it was just a pretty magic ring.”

Philip shook his head. “No, according to legend these are supposed to be able to summon an elemental that you can command.”

“Well, that’s going to come in handy.”

Philip nodded and tugged Daniel away from the now mostly empty bag. “Come on, there’s nothing else of note.” He and Daniel headed down the hall, Philip once again in the front. Oddly enough, there was a curtain covering the entirety of the hall and he glared at it suspiciously. “Step back.”

Daniel rolled his eyes. “It’s a curtain, Philip. Not everything is trying to kill us.” He went to move it himself but Philip snarled and smacked his hand away. ���Alright, alright,” he huffed, clutching his hand to his chest. “I’ll wait back here while you fight the big bad curtain.”

With a dramatic flourish, Philip tore open the curtains, but absolutely nothing happened. He sheepishly turned around to tell Daniel he was right but was met with only a blank stone wall that definitely hadn’t been there before. “Daniel?!”

“Hi, yes, hello, Daniel here!” Daniel shouted from the other side of the wall, far more concerned with his own issues at the moment. As soon as the wall had silently slotted down between him and Philip another one had appeared at the end of the hallway and the room they created was quickly flooding with water. “Uh, yeah, can you please get me out of here before I drown?”

“I’ll get you out!” Philip swore, ramming his shoulder against the wall, which didn’t even budge. He went to attack it again but was slammed into the wall. He whirled around only to see Daniel looking at him confusion on his face.

“Philip?” he asked nervously. “What was that?”

“Daniel? I thought you were on the other side of the wall?”

“I am on the other side, you stupid overgrown lizard! And if you don’t hurry up you’re going to have to deal with my drowned corpse!” came Daniel’s muffled voice.

Philip turned to the Daniel in front of him just in time to see it grin maliciously and slam into him again. “This is going to be much easier than I thought,” taunted the Daniel Philip now knew was a doppelganger. “You know, I thought beating a mighty dragon would be much harder.” Philip snarled and shot fire at it, but it dodged with a sly smirk and slammed into him again. “Oh, you’re going to have to do much better than that.”

Philip slashed his claws, managing to catch it off guard and hit it across its face. “Philip! I need to get out now!” Daniel called an edge of panic now in his tone.

Philip slammed against the wall again, still unable to make a dent. “Look for some kind of switch! Maybe there’s-” he was cut off by a grunt as the doppelganger once again slammed into him from the side. He growled and batted it away with his tail then threw himself at the wall again. “Daniel!”

Daniel took a deep breath and dove down into the water, squinting through the darkness to try and find anything that could help him escape. He emerged several times to get a quick lungful of air and check on the fight, and it didn’t sound too good on Philip’s end. Once he made it to the end and saw nothing he quickly swam back just in time to hear Philip get thrown into another wall. “There’s nothing in here!”

“Then start hacking at the wall yourself!” Philip shouted, slashing his claws into the doppelganger. He attacked the wall again but turned around in time to catch the monster and throw it off before it could hit him again.

Daniel grunted and got out the daggers he had thrown at the gnolls and started trying to chip away at the wall. He heard Philip throw himself at the wall again before the water finally rose overhead, leaving him unable to do much of anything but float and hold his breath.

“Daniel?” Philip called. When there was no response he yelled a bit louder. “Daniel!” The doppelganger took its opportunity to attack again, but Philip caught it in his unforgiving claws. Then with a loud, angry roar, he threw it at the wall separating him and Daniel, which cracked in several places before it suddenly burst temporarily flooding the hall and knocking Philip back. As the water drained away he sat up and saw two Daniel simultaneously sitting up and rubbing their heads.

One of the Daniels blinked at the other for a moment as if trying to comprehend what he was seeing before turning to Philip. “Philip, listen to me. It’s me. That guy is the fake, okay?”

The other Daniel just rolled his eyes and stabbed him with the daggers still in his hands. The first Daniel froze for a moment and looked back at the Daniel who stabbed him in shock. Then he began to twitch, flashing from Daniel to Philip then a dwarf, a gargoyle, an elf, faster and faster before it settled on the blue humanoid shape of its true form and died. “Well,” said Daniel, yanking his daggers out of the doppelganger. “I have to admit I wasn’t expecting that.”

Philip sat in shocked silence for a moment before bursting out into loud, bright laughter. “No, I can’t imagine you were,” he said, shaking his head. He stood and walked over to help Daniel to his feet. “So, how do I know you’re the real Daniel, hmm?” he teased.

Daniel arched an eyebrow and said flatly, “Maybe you don’t. Maybe I just used magic to make the real Daniel look like a doppelganger when he died. Maybe the Daniel you knew was always a doppelganger. Who knows?”

Philip snorted. “Well, the doppelganger might have had your face, but it certainly didn’t have your sharp tongue. I’m pretty sure even if you are really a doppelganger you’re the one I can trust.”

Daniel dropped his act and beamed at him. “I guess you have me pigeonholed. Now, are you going to make me wait back next time we have to do something or are you going to let me fight, too?”

Philip rolled his eyes. “Okay, fine. Fight everything in this castle and die. See if I care.”

“You’d care a little bit,” Daniel smirked. “Admit it. You’d be pretty put out if I died.”

Philip glared playfully and pointed down the hall. “Go. Unlike you, I don’t want to spend the rest of our lives in this castle.”

Daniel proudly took his place at the head and went ahead. When he got to the corner he grinned, noticing that there was a good portion of the wall that had somehow collapsed, leading to the room inside. “Philip! I think we found our way out!”

“Thank Bahamut,” Philip muttered. He stomped forward but froze when he saw what was inside. He turned to Daniel with an infuriated look on his face. “There’s a troll in there! Why can’t anything go our way in this damn place?” he hissed.

Daniel swore under his breath. “Is there any way we can get past it?”

Philip peered into the room again. “I think it’s asleep right now. This is probably that thing we heard earlier when we were going through here.”

Daniel pursed his lips. “Okay, we’re going to try to sneak past it, but I’m also going to put these ball bearings on the ground around it so if we do wake it up at least we’ll have a moment while it tries to stand up.” Philip nodded and they carefully crept into the bedroom and Daniel silently emptied his bag of ball bearings so they pooled around the sleeping monster. They made it all the way to the door which opened with the loudest creak either of them had heard.

Unfortunately, this woke up the troll who jerked and immediately went to stand. Fortunately, Daniel’s careful planning paid off and it went tumbling to the ground again and again as it tried to get on its feet. “Let’s go let’s go let’s go!” Daniel shouted, pushing Philip out the door and slamming it shut behind them. With the door closed, he began piling as much stuff as possible in front of the door, finally stabbing the two daggers he’d ruined on the wall into the doorframe to block the door from opening. “Hopefully, that will keep it occupied long enough for it to get bored of trying to hunt and kill us!” he said with false cheerfulness as he quickly walked through the door.

When they were both out on the landing Daniel let out a relieved sigh at the familiar sight. Until this moment he hadn’t dared hope they would actually be getting out, but now he was sure they could make it home. “Come on, let’s get this stupid fucking mirror and get the hell out of here.”

Philip grunted in agreement and they went to the previously locked door which Dan smugly pointed his Chime of Opening at, causing it to swing open. As predicted, the room inside was grand, far nicer than any of the others they had seen. Thanks to the magical lock, nobody had managed to get inside so everything was untouched since the lord and lady died.

That included the pair of corpses lying on the bed.

“Holy fuck,” Daniel swore, covering his nose with his shirt. “How long have those been there, you reckon?”

“Who’s to say?” Philip grunted. He managed to keep his composure a little better than Daniel, but only just. “All things considered, they’ve most likely been here since they died over a hundred years ago.”

“Then why the fuck do they still smell like this? Surely they should have turned to dust by now.” Philip furrowed his brow in thought, but suddenly the corpses moved, giving Daniel his own answer. “They’re ghouls,” he groaned, drawing his sword. “I hate ghouls.”

“You were telling me on the way over here that you wanted to fight one.”

“I said I wanted to fight a ghost.”

Philip scoffed and shot flames at the shambling corpses. Fire alone apparently couldn’t stop them; before the flames even finished dying down the two monsters leapt at Daniel and Philip. Philip was taken by surprise and snarled as one of them latched its teeth onto his arm, but Daniel managed to shove the one attacking him away with his shield.

“I bet ghosts don’t smell this bad,” Daniel grouched, stabbing the one that had attacked him and kicking it away.

“You’d be surprised,” Philip said, swinging around and smacking both ghouls with his tail. One of them exploded into dust upon hitting the wall but the other one let out a shrill cry and attacked again. It managed to swipe its claws against Daniel’s arm, but he retaliated with his sword and it too exploded into dust.

Daniel sheathed his sword dusted his hands off. “You know there’s something awful behind that door, right?” he said nodding to a door that most likely led to a closet. As the mirror was nowhere to be seen in the room, the closet was the best guess for its location.

Philip snorted. “Based on our experiences so far I’m thinking there’s probably two terrible things.”

Daniel smirked, and offered him the last potion in his bag. “You want this? I’m doing all right, all things considered, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look this rough. That doppelganger really did a number on you.”

“Don’t remind me,” Philip shuddered. He took the potion and drained it and Daniel was once again bitter over the fact that potions didn’t make everyone sick. Philip definitely wasn’t completely better, but he didn’t look like a strong breeze would knock him over anymore. Daniel counted that as a win. “Alright, open it up.”

Daniel nodded, and magically unlocked the door. Inside was something a bit odd. The mirror was propped up in the back surrounded by several glowing orbs of light in a rainbow of colors. Piles of shields scattered around the mirror, but no armour or weapons anywhere. He was about to point this out to Philip when the door slammed shut, startling them both. Philip immediately tried to force it open by ramming his shoulder into it, but it didn’t budge. Daniel stepped forward and tried to use his Chime again, but all it did was produce a pretty ringing sound.

“This is bull shit,” Daniel snapped, kicking the door. He soon regretted this action and hopped around on one foot while holding the injured one in his hands.

As he was hopping around the cramped room he managed to knock into the mirror. This triggered a response and he watched in slight horror as the shields all formed together into the shape of a large humanoid. He gently tugged on his friend’s sleeve. “Uh, Philip, we have a-”

He nervous warning was interrupted as two fists made of shields swung at them. Daniel managed to yank Philip down with him as he ducked to avoid the attack so they were both unscathed. Philip started off with a fire attack, and Daniel followed up with his sword which bounced uselessly off the shield guardian’s shields. The guardian again attacked, this time managing to catch Philip in the chest. Philip snarled and bit down on the guardian’s arm and slashed with his claws.

While Philip had it distracted, Daniel snuck up behind it and stabbed it with his daggers which were once again useless. The guardian swung at them, which they rolled away from to dodge. Philip leapt on it to slash and bite, and Daniel started digging through his bag. He knew his usual weapons weren’t affecting the guardian, so he needed to fight magic with magic. He soon found what he was looking for, and with a shout he threw the tiny nightmare statue at the guardian. It bounced off harmlessly and fell to the ground. Daniel was worried for a moment that it hadn’t worked, but hellish flames erupted from the ground at the guardian’s feet. Once the flames were gone, the guardian stood still for a moment before collapsing to the ground in a pile of shields.

“This damn mirror better be worth it,” Philip snapped, marching towards it. He examined the window for a moment then nodded. “It is actually pretty nice. What do you think?”

“I dunno, there’s something about it…” Daniel trailed off into silence, eyes locked on the mirror. Visions were flashing across his eyes, visions he couldn’t understand. He saw unpulled carriages of metal that roared down streets swarmed only with humans. He saw a man on a hill and music played but there wasn’t a bard, just a strange black box. He saw the same metal carriages, only much much bigger that flew through the sky with the birds. Strangest of all, he saw human versions of himself and Philip sat nearly on top of one another as they looked into a strange rectangular portal that showed moving pictures. As he watched the Daniel and Philip on the couch smiled gentle smiles and moved their faces closer-

“Daniel!”

Daniel was snapped from his vision and looked up to see his Philip staring at him in concern. “I don’t think I like this mirror,” he slurred, then collapsed to the ground.

“Daniel!” Philip snarled, shaking the drow to try and wake him up. He swore at himself for taking the last health potion and hoisted Dan up into his arms. He ran out of the castle and as soon as he cleared the door, he transformed into his full size and carefully placed Daniel on his back in the safest way he could. He spread his wings and took to the sky, not even stopping to break down their camp. He flew all night, not stopping for rest once just furiously flapping his wings.

He made the journey in just ten hours. The sun had made its way into the sky by the sixth hour and Philip could feel the warmth prickling uncomfortably at his dark scales, but pressed on. He made it to their cave and fell into a heap, completely exhausted. He was so tired he couldn’t summon the energy to transform, so he just curled up around Daniel in his dragon form and let the exhaustion wash over him. He was safe, Daniel was safe, and nothing could happen to them so long as they were in the cave.

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

Phil let out a deep sigh and fell back on Dan’s bed watching the other man dart around the room grabbing as much stuff as he could hold and shoving it in his suitcase. “You really are the worst packer ever, you know that?” he yawned.

Dan paused what he was doing and narrowed his eyes at him. “You could help you know.”

Philip snorted. “Yeah, right. Every time I’ve tried to help you you act like I’ve never packed a bag before. I’m pretty sure last time you actually smacked my hand.”

Dan winced at the memory and zipped his bag shut. “Okay, well, you don’t have to just sit there and watch me. You could call the train station and see if we can get a later ticket.” “I already know we can’t,” Phil pointed out. “I deliberately got the latest ticket possible. If we miss this train we won’t be able to leave until morning.”

Dan whipped around and looked at him wild eyed. “Well, shit,” he said before rushing out the door for the bathroom.

“Try not to blind yourself this time!” Phil cheerfully called after him. He hummed to himself and puttered around the room, making sure Dan had everything. Sure enough, he picked up Dan’s phone charger and wallet and packed a couple pairs of socks. He stashed the charger and wallet in their travel and zipped the suitcase right as Dan stumbled in. “You ready now?”

Dan shoved his toiletries bag into his suitcase and whirled around. “Yes. Let’s go right fucking now.” Without waiting for a response, he shoved past Phil and out the door. By the time Phil made it outside he was already shoving his bags into the boot of a cab he had waved down. “Phil! Come on, we’re going to miss our train!”

Phil rolled his eyes fondly but complied with Dan’s need for speed. “Liverpool Street Station, please,” he ordered the cabby after Dan ushered him in.

“Traffic over there is terrible right about now,” the cabby warned. “It’s gonna take us a good thirty minutes.”

“That’s fine.”

Dan gawked at Phil. “No it’s not! Our train was supposed to leave at a quarter to five and it’s already half past!”

“There’s nothing I can do about it,” the cabby apologized. “I’ll get there as fast as I can, but I can’t make any promises.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Phil insisted. “We have more than enough time to get there.”

“Phil,” Dan hissed, “if we miss this train because of traffic I’m going to scream.”

Phil cocked an eyebrow. “Well, first off, if we missed it it’d be because someone didn’t pack.” Dan quickly broke eye contact, his ears ever so pink. Phil laced their fingers together so he could press a kiss to the back of his hand. “Luckily I know and love the person in question and our train doesn’t leave until a quarter past five.”

Dan snapped his head back around and narrowed his eyes at his grinning boyfriend. “You, Phil Lester, are a criminal mastermind.”

Phil laughed and dropped their hands. “I prefer to think I learn from my mistakes.”

“That was nearly a year ago, drop it, you ass.”

Phil hummed, pretending to think about it. “Well, we nearly missed our tour to take you to A&E because you were too lazy to pack. It’s probably best that I keep that in mind when booking from now on.”

Dan crossed his arms and pouted slightly. “That was one time.”

“What about when we went to New York and you didn’t pack socks, your laptop charger, or any money?”

“Okay, fine, I’m not good at packing. Maybe I should just let you do it from now on.”

“I offered this time.”

“Shut up!” Dan slapped his hands to his ears. “I don’t want to hear it! I don’t deserve this kind of harassment!”

“Of course not, dear,” Phil chuckled, rolling his eyes and looking back out the window. Dan stuck his tongue out at him and the driver chuckled, but the commotion died down quick enough. The ride was mostly quiet spiced with Dan leaning over to show Phil something from Tumblr while the driver asked the typical non-prying questions about their upcoming trip that Phil had to answer ass usual. As the cabby said earlier, the drive did take over a half hour, but thanks to Phil’s prior planning, they got there in plenty of time. Dan climbed out of the cab and started to unload their bags while Phil paid the driver and after weaving through the crowded station and showing their tickets to the appropriate people they were sat in the waiting area for their platform.

They were completely absorbed in their phones when there was a soft cough in front of them and as one they looked up to see a slightly nervous young woman smiling at them with a very young boy hiding behind her legs looking at Phil like he hung the moon. “Uh, hi,” she said awkwardly. “You’re Dan and Phil right? What am I saying I know it’s you two I don’t even know-”

“Yeah, it’s us,” Dan interrupted with a kind laugh, and she looked absolutely relieved to be stopped mid ramble. “I’m guessing you watch our videos?”

“Er, well, I used to?” she admitted, blushing a light pink. “I quit watching you guys about a year ago, sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, tastes change,” Phil assured her. “Do you still want a selfie or…?”

“Well, the reason I came over isn’t for actually for me,” she said smiling. She leaned down and grabbed the boy’s hand and pulling him out to stand in front of Phil. “This is my son, Todd, and he’s the biggest AmazingPhil fan I know.” She looked at Dan and winced. “Sorry, Dan, he’s not getting his hands on yours for a while yet.”

Dan snorted. “Honestly, I wouldn’t want him to.”

Phil ignored their short exchange and stood so he could crouch down to Todd’s height and smiled his brightest smile at him. “Hi, Todd, my name’s Phil. It’s nice to meet you.”

Todd’s eyes got bigger and rounder before he bashfully ducked his head and looked up through his dark curls. “Hi,” he said in a voice so quiet Phil almost didn’t hear him.

“Do you like watching my videos?”

Todd nodded furiously. “I like lions, too,” he said, grabbing the pull in his hoodie and began chewing it.

“I bet Lion wishes he could hear that,” he chuckled. He pointed at Dan who was watching their interaction closely. “Do you know who that is?”

Todd nodded again. “That’s Dan.”

“Yeah, Dan’s my best friend. Who’s your best friend?”

“You.”

Dan made a strangled noise, but Phil managed to hide his reaction to the adorable answer a little better. “Well, you’re one of my best friends, too, then.”

Todd’s jaw dropped, the string dropped from his mouth to wetly hang where it belonged. He looked up at his mother who just laughed and nudged him forward. “Can I have a hug?” he asked tentatively like he really thought he could possibly be rejected.

Phil laughed and after glancing up to get an okay from his mother he said “You absolutely can!” He opened his arms as wide as they could go and after Todd flung himself in them he was wrapped up in the best hug of his life.

“I love you, Phil,” Todd said softly and Phil’s heart melted and he hugged just a bit tighter.  When Todd finally pulled away he beamed at Phil like he had single handedly saved Christmas.

After clearing his throat of the lump lodged inside it, Phil asked, “Do you think we could take a picture for your mom?” He had noticed her taking pictures almost the whole exchange and she smiled and mouthed he thanks.

Todd nodded, and after a moment of scrutinizing Dan said, “Should we ask Dan, too?”

Phil chuckled. “Whatever you want, buddy. It’s all up to you.”

Todd thought it over for another moment before finally deciding, “Dan can come.”

Dan bowed grandly, “Thank you very much.” A moment later he and Phil were knelt on either side of Todd who had his arms around Phil’s neck like a grinning kohala.

“Thanks so much, you two, you have no idea how much this means to him,” the mother gushed. “I honestly picked the best guys ever to stan as a teenager. Almost jealous I didn’t get to meet you when I was a super fan.”

“We love meeting people who watch our videos,” Dan said. “People of all ages. Also, I don’t think I caught your name?”

“OH!” She blushed, and stuck out her hand. “Sorry, how rude of me; my wife is much better at this kind of thing. My name is Viviana.”

“Well, the two of you have a great kid,” Phil said, standing and shaking the hand.

“We’re lucky to have him,” she smiled down at him. “Speaking of my wife: Todd, honey, we have to go, mummy’s waiting on us. Say bye bye.”

Todd got in one last hug around Phil’s knees before taking his mother’s hand as they walked away. With the other he was waving at them and giggling. “Bye bye, Dan! Bye bye, Phil!”

“Bye bye, Todd,” Dan and Phil said in unison, waving until they saw Todd and Viviana go sit with another woman and Todd climbed into her lap and began to animatedly talk to her.

“Can we have like twelve kids?” Dan sighed dreamily, watching the family.

Phil laughed. “Well, let’s see how well we can take care of a Sim baby and maybe we’ll talk about getting a real one. Maybe not twelve, though.”

Dan rolled his eyes, and gently shoved him. “You know what I mean.”

Phil smiled and laced his fingers around Dan’s left hand and brought it up to kiss the ring finger on it. “Maybe we’ll get some kind of decoration here first.”

Dan breathing hitched for a half second before he was back to his usual teasing demeanor. “Well, you better hurry up, old man. Neither of us are getting any younger.”

“No, I guess we’re not,” Phil said, thinking about the little black box hidden away in his props chest. “We’re really not.”

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

Hever Castle was beautiful, and anyone who got the chance to go should really take it, Dan would never begrudge them that. However, it was rather difficult to get to, even when you knew where you were going and what you were doing. When Phil is driving a rental car in the typical South England downpour it was apparently impossible.

“Dan, face it we’re lost,” Phil whined like the quitter he was. “Let me pull over and ask for directions.”

“We have directions!” Dan protested, waving the printed out directions from the website. You must be doing something wrong.”

Phil sputtered indignantly. “I’m doing exactly what you tell me to! Maybe you’re doing something wrong.”

Dan pursed his lips, refusing to admit there might even be a flicker of truth to the very thing he’d been thinking for the past ten minutes. “I’m literally reading off a sheet of paper. Unless you’re trying to imply I can’t read, I doubt it’s me.”

Phil groaned and dragged his hand down his face. “You know I’m not. Maybe we’re just both really bad at directions. Come on, just let me pull over real quick.”

“Give me five more minutes?” Dan wheedled. “Please? I promise if things are just worse that we can just ask for directions.”

Phil narrowed his eyes. “Why is this so important to you anyways? You wouldn’t even let me use my phone.”

Dan shrugged. “I dunno. My mum and dad always used to navigate for each other using real maps, and I definitely can’t read a map that well so this was the logical second. It just seems really grown up to me, I can’t describe it.”

Phil sighed. “Well, asked and answered, I guess. We’ll go another ten minutes and then ask for help.”

Dan leaned over the console and kissed him on the cheek. “You’re the best.”

“Yeah, and don’t you forget it.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just drive, okay? We’re looking for a road called Hever Road.”

“Dan, we turned onto Hever Road already.”

“Shit. Well, now all I’ve got is ‘turn left, turn right.’ I’m in hell.”

Phil laughed fondly. “Well, in that case I guess-”

“Holy shit, I think that’s it!” Dan interrupted, gesturing wildly out the windshield. Sure enough, the rain was slacking off just enough so that they could see through the trees and there was Hever Castle and Gardens looming in the distance. “Fuck, I thought we’d never get here!”

Following the road before them, they drove up to the castle, excitement growing steadily. “I’ve never stayed in a castle before,” Phil admitted. “I mean, yeah, I’ve visited them, but I never spent the night.”

“I have,” Dan said. “Mum and dad send me and Adrien on a bunch of little community field trips to get us out of the house during the summer. Adrien had loads of fun but I was at that age where I obstinately made everything I didn’t want to do torture so I thought it was awful.”

“You mean like your age now?”

Dan narrowed his eyes playfully. “Yeah, well, I was going to let you tweet about us staying at a castle, but now I’m going to.”

Phil sputtered indignantly. “That’s hardly fair!”

“Too bad! I’m already typing it out!”

“Ugh, you’re the worst.”

“You know, you say that all the time and I don’t think you know what it means.”

“It means I secretly hate you and as soon as Janet from the shops is ready I’m running away with her.”

“Won’t change the fact that I got to tweet about a castle first.”

Phil looked like he would have normally kept their banter going, but he was too busy pulling up to the valet and rolling down the window. “Hi, we’re here under a reservation for Lester? Also, this is a rental car and they said we could just leave it with you and they’d just charge my card?”

“Yes, sir,” the valet said, opening the door so they could get out. “We have staff who return rental cars for our guests.”

“Great! Well, I’ll just, uh,” Phil trailed off as a bellhop apparated at the boot and started unloading their luggage onto a luggage cart. He moved to help, but the bellhop was so efficient any assistance was thoroughly unneeded.

“Here’s the keys,” Dan said, mercifully stepping in and taking the keys from Phil’s hand. “We just need to check in at the front desk correct?”

The valet nodded. “Yes, and when you know what room you are, just tell Jay here and he’ll deliver your luggage.”

“Thanks!” Dan beamed, and steered Phil towards the main lobby. This seemed to snap Phil out of his stupor and he quickly informed the front desk of their situation and found out what room they were in and told Jay who led them right to it. The room was spacious and had furniture in it that was probably older than Dan, but the only thing he was interested in was the big cushy bed which he fell back on immediately.

“Dan, there’s a clawfoot tub in here!” Phil called from the bathroom excitedly.

“That’s cool as fuck,” Dan murmured, doing his best to melt into the luxurious duvet.

Phil wandered out of the bathroom after giving it his customary inspection and crawled in the bed next to Dan. “Come on, don’t give in yet. We’re supposed to be meeting Martyn and Cornelia for dinner, remember?”

“Can’t we just skip?” Dan whined. “We’re going to be spending the weekend with them, I doubt they’ll miss us for one meal. Tell them we’re too busy fucking in a fancy hotel room to go to dinner.”

Phil barked out a laugh and pressed a kiss to Dan’s curly hair. “I don’t think that will work. I’m pretty sure we’re going over a schedule so we don’t have to spend the weekend in each other’s pockets.”

Dan flopped over and grumbled into his folded arms for a bit before sighing and sitting up. “Alright, then. Let’s go to dinner with the in-laws.”

Phil’s eyes flashed deviously and a sly grin worked its way across his mouth. “Well, we don’t have to be there for a couple more hours. Cornelia insisted we get a chance to settle into our room.” “Thank god,” Dan sighed, collapsing back down on the bed. “Let me sleep here until I die here.”

“You know, the bathroom here is really cool,” Phil said conversationally.

“Oh, yeah? Great.”

“Yeah, it’s got probably the biggest shower I’ve ever seen in person. It’s like they made it for two people.”

Dan froze as Phil pressed a quick kiss to the nape of his neck. “Anyway,” he continued brightly. “I’m going to go take a shower, you just lay here.”

Dan laid in the bed, still frozen, for a moment and watched Phil practically sashay into the bathroom before scrambling to his feet and following him.

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

Dan was a great boyfriend, and Phil loved him more than words could say. He was clever and kind, loud and loving, brilliant and beautiful. He enriched Phil’s life and improved it in ways neither of them would probably ever fully understand. Phil adored him and wouldn’t give him up for the world.

That being said, he was shit at wake up calls.

“Come on, Phillip,” he sang, making sure to pop the “p” right in Phil’s ear. He was currently bouncing up and down on his knees on the bed right by Phil’s side, and had started his routine by re-creating a video to the Numa Numa Song.

And some people thought romance was dead.

“Please,” Phil whined, shoving his face under his pillow. Maybe if he pressed down hard enough he’d pass out and Dan would quit trying to get him out of bed. “Please just let me sleep I beg.”

Dan had the audacity to snort and even though Phil couldn’t see him he knew Dan had just rolled his eyes. “You wish. They serve breakfast in the gardens and if you think I’m going to miss out on posting the most aesthetic instagrams of eggs benedict ever then you’re dead wrong. Louise is in Venice and we have a bet on who can post the best pictures this weekend.”

“Can’t you just go by yourself?”

Dan snorts, and Phil takes a hot second to be a bit offended before Dan dug his knees into Phil’s side, quite effectively forcing him out of bed. When he was on his feet he turned and scowled at Dan who just beamed up at him. “Oh, good, you’re out of bed,” he had the audacity to chirp. “There’s a breakfast being served in the garden if you’re interested.”

Phil huffed, but he was already awake and out of bed, so there was no real point in denying it any more. “Sure, Dan. That sounds great. Let me get dressed and we can head down,” he yawned, making his way to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

“Don’t forget, I’m posting pictures, and you’re going to be in them,” Dan called after him. “Wear that bird shirt you got for the BONCAS.”

“I don’t think I packed that. Did I?”

“You didn’t,” he conceded, “but I put it in there when you weren’t looking.”

Phil stuck his head out of the bathroom and looked rather unimpressed and rumpled. “So, you’re telling me that you didn’t have enough time to pack your own suitcase, but you had enough time to make sure I had the specific shirt you wanted for your aesthetic breakfast photoshoot?”

“Every man has his priorities, Phil.” Dan grinned when he heard a soft “You’re impossible” that he probably wasn’t supposed to hear. “Hey, make sure you wear your glasses. Everyone thinks you look amazing in them and it will also help the ‘relaxed but posh’ vibe I’m going for.”

Phil shook his head and chuckled but did as he was ordered, and stepped out of the bathroom freshened up and bespectacled. He stepped in between Dan’s knees to press a kiss to his forehead, to which Dan responded with a soft, happy hum. “You know, we’re spending the weekend at a bed and breakfast in a castle. I don’t think you can get any more aesthetic than that.”

“Louise is in Venice,” Dan reminded him. “It doesn’t matter where we are, I’m going to have stiff competition.”

“I offered to take you to Venice before.” Phil would absolutely refuse to admit he was pouting, even under oath.

Dan rested his arms over Phil’s shoulders and beamed. “Yeah, and I still stand by my decision to stay at home.”

“What’s the point of having all this money if you won’t even let me spend it on you?”

“Aw, do you want to be my sugar daddy, Phil? I didn’t know you were into that.”

Phil sputtered, embarrassed, while Dan giggled at him. “That’s not what I meant and you know it,” he whined.

"Yeah, but you’re fun to rile up,” Dan agreed, pecking him on the nose. “Now, get dressed. We’re going to be late.”

Phil hummed and did as he was told and before long he and Dan were headed down to the grounds hand in hand. “It really is a beautiful morning,” Phil said, breathing in the sweet summer air. He knew it would get hot later, but it was still early enough that the dew was clinging to the grass and the cool of night was still lingering.

Dan closed his eyes and lifted his face towards the soft periwinkle sky. “Yeah, it really is.”

Phil tore his eyes away from the scenery to stare at the man stood next to him. He had known Daniel Howell for eight years and he still managed to steal his breath on a regular basis. He thought again (it had been happening with almost concerning frequency as of late) of the small, black box hidden away in their flat in London. “Come on, we’re going to be late if we don’t hurry.”

Dan hummed happily and took another moment to soak in the morning sun. “Yeah, alright. Let’s go.”

The garden was almost magical in the soft morning light. Each place setting was decorated with flowers picked fresh from the bushes that enclosed the few little tables around. There were already people at all of the tables, but Dan made eye contact with one lady who was sitting alone, and she smiled and waved them over. Dan tugged Phil behind him as he gave the woman a second glance over. Her most distinctive feature was her long, dark purple hair that seemed to sparkle with its own light, and the matching stars she had painted on each of her cheeks. She looked younger than Dan but something in her eyes glinted with something Dan couldn’t quite name. “Won’t you two please sit?” she asked politely, gesturing to the chairs on the other side of the little round table.

“Are you waiting for anyone?” Dan asked as he and Phil sat.

“Me? Oh, no, I’m here alone,” she said. “I actually work here, but sometimes I like to partake in some of the activities we have around here.”

“What is it you do?” Phil asked.

“I run the tourist department; you know, the website and social media for the castle.”

Phil perked up at that. “Then you were probably the one who talked to my brother! He said he worked on your website recently. Martyn Lester?”

The woman brightened and smiled. “Yes, I did speak with him. That means the two of you must be Dan and Phil.” When the two men exchanged confused glances she laughed softly. “Martyn spoke very highly of the both of you, and told me you were going to be his plus two. Forgive my rudeness, my name is Estella Farfalla, but most people just call me Stella.”

“Well, it’s a pleasure meeting you, Stella.”

“And you two as well.”

The conversation was briefly interrupted by a waiter asking for their drink orders followed shortly by him coming back to serve their breakfast. Phil went to dig in, but Dan gently smacked his elbow to remind him of the pictures he was meant to take. Stella watched in amusement as they took turns photographing each other and their food and the scenery until Dan was satisfied that he would be able to find and post a picture that would knock Louise’s socks off.

“So, you said you work here,” Phil said while Dan agonized over what filter to use. “Do you have any recommendations? We want to get the full experience.”

“Well, as luck would have it I actually started as a tour guide here so I know pretty much everything about this place.” She drummed her fingers on her chin as she looked them over. “I’m guessing you two haven’t gone on the tour yet. Correct?”

“Not yet,” Dan admitted. “We only just got in last night, and we went to dinner then straight to bed.”

She nodded. “Well, the tour is all inside so wait until this afternoon, since it will be raining then.” Dan frowned. “The weather report said it was supposed to be clear all weekend.”

She shot him a mischievous grin. “Maybe I know something the weatherman doesn’t.”

“What are you psychic or something?”

She winked and tapped the side of her nose, and Phil looked about like he was going to burst with delight. “Are you, really?” he demanded. “What is it you do, exactly? Tarot or tea reading? I’ve dabbled in that before, but I doubt I’m actually any good at it.”

“You never know. I think there’s a lot of untapped potential, Phil.” She turned to Dan who looked markedly less impressed. “And what about you? Any interest in the preternatural?”

Dan rolled his eyes. “Yeah, last time I had anything to do with fortune telling I had a banana shoved down the back of my neck, so no thanks.”

Stella looked amused, like he had said exactly what she had known he’d say. “You know, I had a feeling you’d feel that way.” Dan rose an incredulous eyebrow so she finally answered Phil’s question. “I do astrology. I decided to lean fully into the whole star theme, you see?”

Phil chuckled. “So, do you check the stars for the weather every day or was this a coincidence?”

“Not normally, no. I just knew something important was meant to happen this weekend, so I decided to check last night.”

“Any hints on what the big deal this weekend is?”

“Oh, I really shouldn’t,” she said with a coy smile. “I find that most people start meddling where they shouldn’t when they learn too much.”

“I guess I’ll just have to wait, then. I hope I don’t miss it.”

“Oh, I doubt that will be possible.”

Phil was about to ask what exactly she meant by that, but was interrupted by their waiter coming back. He whisked away their plates and glasses only to replace them with a couple serving plates of cakes and other post breakfast sweets. Dan was delighted and immediately proceeded to take just as many pictures of this food as he did the previous course. When Phil looked up after the final picture was taken, he saw Stella’s empty chair, looking like it had never been occupied. “She was nice,” he said to Dan. “A little odd, but still really nice.”

“You only thought she was nice because you were hoping she’d read your palm,” Dan teased. “Besides, she was obviously a fake. I mean, come on. Rain? Today? This is the most sun I’ve seen in years.”

At that exact moment a fat raindrop fell directly on the end of Dan’s nose, causing him to cross his eyes to get a good look at it. Phil snickered into his hand while Dan wiped his nose with slightly pink cheeks.

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

Dan glared out the window of their room in abject horror. He was beyond angry. He had checked no less than four different weather updates and they all called for the exact same thing. Hot, but not unbearably so, and sunny. With the A/C in the castle this weekend should have been absolutely perfect. But no. Right now it was pouring rain so hard he could see about ten metres before it was too dark. He checked the weather again. Sure enough, there was still a happy little sun falsely claiming that it was partly cloudy.

“Seriously, what the fuck?” he growled, turning to Phil who was sat cross-legged on their bed towel drying his hair after they were caught outside.

Phil shrugged. “You know how the weather here is. I would personally find a weekend of perfect weather more unbelievable than a surprise storm.”

“It’s not even storming,” Dan groused. “There hasn’t been any thunder or anything, it’s just a fuckload of rain.”

Phil grinned and lassoed Dan with his towel and pulled him closer. He started gently scrubbing at Dan’s sopping curls, ignoring the weak protests. “You’re just mad because what’s-her-name was right.”

“Her name was Stella and I still think she was a phoney. People aren’t actually psychic, babe.”

“Tell that to the rain.”

“Lucky guess. Like you said, it’s always raining here.”

Phil uncovered Dan’s face and placed a kiss on his scowling brow. “Psychic or no, it is raining and I think a tour would be a lot of fun. Change your clothes and we can go look around. We can kill a couple hours and maybe by then the rain will clear and we’ll get to go do the maze.”

Dan was still very clearly pouting, but did as he was told and started rummaging in his case to find new clothes while Phil did the same. When they were both dressed, Dan grinned and offered an arm to Phil, who rolled his eyes fondly but took it nevertheless. They went downstairs, only to see a rather familiar face at the foot of the stairs.

“Martyn!” Phil said happily, letting go of Dan to clasp his brother’s hand. “You and Cornelia about to do the tour?”

“Yeah. Bummer about this rain, though. We were about to go try our hand at archery.” He shrugged. “We were lucky enough to still be inside when it started pouring. Crazy weather, eh?”

“Yeah, me and Dan were still in the gardens when it started.”

“Well, you two want to join me and Corny? Come on, there’s someone I want to introduce you to.” Martyn led them to the front desk where purple eyes regarded them with thinly veiled amusement. “Guys, this is Estella Farfalla. She’s the person I worked with, and she’s the one who got us access this weekend.”

“I’m pleased to say we’ve already made our acquaintance,” Stella said brightly, handing over the guided tours. “We met at breakfast in the gardens this morning.”

“You’re telling me these two woke up for breakfast?” Cornelia mock gasped.

Dan gave her a mildly dirty look while Stella just laughed. “Yes, we had a lovely time. Are you two about to do the tour as well?”

“Yeah, the four of us are going to give the place a walk around,” Martyn said. “Well, I guess if you three have already met , there’s no point in delaying. Come on, you two.”

“Oh, there is one more thing!” Stella said urgently. “The tour has you going into King Henry’s room about halfway through, but I recommend waiting until the very end. That room is always my favourite.”

“Thanks for the tip!” Martyn beamed. “Well, see you around!”

“Good bye! Enjoy your tour!”

Together they left the front desk and started their tour. As usual, there was a room full of paintings from the Tudor era, along with some sculptures and furniture. Fuck man, idk how to appreciate art. Last time I was in a museum I liked this one exhibit because they all looked like TOS Star Trek props. My favourite piece of art is a pair of wings made out of spoons. Fuck. I could really really use your help here.

What Dan found far more interesting was the room full of miniature towns and houses. They were all in their little display cases and he rather enjoyed peering down on them in their little homes living their little lives. Or, well they weren’t living their lives, but they sure looked like they could as soon as his back was turned. Suddenly, his phone let out a chirp, informing him that someone had tweeted. Without thinking, he pulled it out and swiped to see the Tweet. It was from Phil, and it was a picture of him Phil had taken without asking of him looking at the miniature buildings.

@AmazingPhil: Sorry guys. This is how tall Dan really is. We just use editing tricks to make him look like a normal human. Real-not-a-model-town for scale

Dan cut his eyes at Phil who was grinning like he thought he’d told the best joke of the century. “When are you going to stop taking secret creeper pictures of me?”

“When you stop being the most beautiful thing in the room,” Phil said smoothly, but Dan just rolled his eyes. “Besides, you posted pictures at breakfast, I needed to post something.”

Dan hummed. “Yeah, guess you’re right. Come on, I think we were abandoned.”

They walked hand in hand past the room set up to look like King Edward’s bedchambers for about the third time, as Stella had recommended, and into the drawing room where Cornelia and Martyn were. Cornelia came up to them with a cheerful bounce to her step. “Looks like the rain cleared up. Would you two be interested in coming with us to the lake?”

“Nah, I think we’ll finish up the tour,” Dan said. “Besides, it’s kind of late, so we’re probably going to head up to the room afterwards.”

“Suit yourself,” Cornelia said with a shrug. “This isn’t really my thing, but the lake is supposed to be beautiful. If we run into each other I’ll tell you if it’s worth the walk. See you!” With a jaunty wave, she and Martyn left, and Dan turned back to Phil, who was investigating a painting. Dan was fairly sure it was a dog, but it was a little too… abstract for him to say with any confidence, so he stayed silent.

“So, what do you think it is?” Well, he had planned on staying silent.

Dan pondered the question and the painting as he stepped up next to Phil. “I, um, I think it’s a dog?”

“That’s what I was thinking, but it could very easily be an alien in a fursuit if you ask me. We should buy a print and put it in the lounge.”

“Why stop at the lounge? Let’s put one in every room.”

“Wallpaper the flat with it.”

“Cover the furniture with specially made fabric with it printed on it.”

Phil chuckled lowly and gently bumped their shoulders together. “You win. Come on, I think this dog-alien wants me to have its babies.”

“You’re so fucking weird.”

“You love it.”

Finally, after wandering the halls for over two hours, they allowed themselves to go into King Henry’s room.

Only to be disappointed.

Phil frowned as he looked around. Sure, it was all very pretty and incredibly well taken care of, but the rest of the rooms had done that as well, some even better. Phil personally would have made the tour end in the room with the costumed figures all about Anne Boleyn. Sure the not-mannequins were kind of creepy and always looked like they were staring at him, but at least they were interesting. And since it was Anne Boleyn’s house it kind of made sense for her room to be the main attraction, right? This room, just had nothing special. It had the bed and the curtains and art, but other than a grand floor to ceiling mirror against the wall, there was nothing remarkable about it at all.

“Am I the only one feeling cheated?” Dan asked on a whisper. “I was expecting a bit more, to be honest.”

“Me, too. I mean, I get that it’s her favourite, but I don’t see why. This is just a really fancy bedroom.”

Dan snorted. “Let’s at least get a look at this mirror, yeah?” Without waiting for a response, Dan walked over to stand in front of it. His reflection was vaguely distorted, but he couldn’t exactly put his finger on how. It didn’t make him wider or taller or darker or lighter or rippled in any way, he just looked wrong. “Phil, you have to come look at this.”

“I am.”

Dan looked next to his reflection, and sure enough, Phil was there. He was also distorted, but Dan could clearly see that he was paler with a weird green tinge. “It makes your reflection look weird. I don’t know how or why but- holy shit, Phil, are you okay?” The mirror hadn’t actually changed his reflection much at all, Phil just looked incredibly ill. “What happened?”

“I don’t- I don’t know,” Phil said, shuddering. “I just walked over here and suddenly-” He cut himself off with a groan, clutching his head. “Let’s- Can we just go to the room?”

“Yeah, of course,” Dan said softly. He wrapped his arm around Phil’s waist like he would break in half at the slightest pressure and led him back up to their room. When Phil was laid down, Dan went about closing all the curtains and getting a cold rag from the bathroom. He quietly pulled a chair up next to the bed and started petting Phil’s head and wiping away sweat. “Feel any better?” he asked softly.

Phil gave a full-body shudder and curled deeper in the blanket, but when he smiled up at Dan it was as warm and bright as it always was. “I’ll survive, I think,” he joked. “You don’t have to stay in here with me, you know. You could go hang out with Martyn and Cornelia by the lake.”

“What and get third-wheeled so hard I fly into the sun?” Dan snorted. His smile softened as he looked down at Phil who was blinking slower and slower. “I’ll stay right here, if you don’t mind.”

Phil chuckled weakly, and opened his arms. “You know I don’t. I’d mind even less if you got in bed, too.” Dan grinned and crawled into the space made for him and wrapped his arms around Phil in return. He pressed their foreheads together and they just laid there, sharing air for a while before Phil said, “Sorry I ruined your afternoon.”

Dan pulled back just enough to raise his eyebrows and give him a Look™ which caused Phil to giggle. “That’s such a ridiculous thing for you to say that I’m not even going to dignify it with a response.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Phil yawned, pulling them closer together. “Sleep now.”

“We’re going to hate ourselves in the morning if we don’t change out of these skinny jeans,” Dan grinned.

“I’ll hate you right now if you get out of this bed.”

Dan’s smile widened so much he feared his cheeks would split. “Alright, but you have to take full responsibility for any and all misery in the morning, got it?”

They slept through the night, Dan remarkably more soundly. All through the night Phil was tossing and turning

“Still not feeling good?” Dan asked the next morning, biting his lip and running his fingers through Phil’s fringe. Phil just groaned quietly and pulled the duvet over his head. “Alright, that’s it, we’re going home.”

“That’s silly, Dan,” Phil protested. “I’m sure it will go away in a couple hours or so.”

“Yeah, sorry, no. You were struck with a weird, sudden illness for no known reason and you didn’t sleep it off. We’re going home and you’re going to the doctor tomorrow. I’m calling Martyn now.”

Phil sighed, but knew that arguing at this point in Dan’s decision making process would just make both of them frustrated. “Fine, we can go home, but I’m not going to the doctor unless this lasts through tomorrow.”

Dan rolled his eyes. “Sure, fine. I don’t want a boyfriend anyway, so just let yourself die of some random disease. See if I care. Hey, Martyn, listen-”

Phil groaned and rolled out of bed, ignoring Dan’s sharp glare. Fortunately, Dan had packed away most of their stuff at some point, so Phil just kind of puttered around gathering their smaller stuff while Dan made phone calls. Dan was over reacting, as per usual. Even just this little bit of getting up and moving was making him feel so much better. He was practically at one hundred percent. Oh, or maybe he wasn’t. He slowly straightened from where he had bent in half to pick up a sock, clutching his head. Okay, so maybe not one hundred percent, but it was definitely better than last night.

“Okay, everything is set up,” Dan said, clapping his hands. “The car will be here in about a half hour and our train tickets have been changed. Do you want me to go downstairs and see if I can find us some food?”

“Yeah, that sounds good. Want me to come with you?”

Dan pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Nah, I’m good. I’ll be back up in a bit.” And with that he was gone.

Phil groaned and flopped back on the bed, closing his eyes. Staring at the back of his eyelids, Phil started thinking about his dream from last night. Usually, it was just the feeling of flying and some blurry pictures, but last night it was different. It had the flying, but it also had a very strong feeling of claustrophobia and for some reason all his muscles hurt. Also, everything was pitch black, and he couldn’t even make out vague shapes, which didn’t help the claustrophobia. However, the most worrisome part was Dan. Usually, Dan’s presence in the dream was just a soft, fond constant, but last night some part of his brain was convinced Dan was either dead or dying.

Just then, Dan waltzed back in, carrying two plates of various breakfast pastries, and Phil dropped all thoughts on his dream in favor of grabbing a muffin. Maybe he’d ask Dan about it when they got home

Part Two

[lizardswithoutlegs]

HOOOOOWOWOAH BOY

ART ASKS

when i walk into a building i get to eat everybodys pencils and they cant say no

do it 

( also thanks for asking ! ) 

itd bother me a lot less if everybody came to my apartment and took one of these beautiful eggs

YEAH UNFORTUNATELY IM STILL..... WORKING THROUGH THE SAME WAITLIST but im comparatively REAL CLOSE to being done with it and i should be opening up sometime later in...... the Year

Boy Have I

theres This messy thing from a while back and then also

THIS, from even FURTHER back, when i didnt realize how fucking RED all the outlines on my things were because of the monitor i was using, two for the price of one

why not both

i do Not but it you ever see me walking on the street please throw handfuls of teeth at me theyre the only things my wretched body can digest and im always hungry

OH MAN ok so, an art telephone game is based on, of course, the game telephone, where one person says a phrase and then whispers it to the next person, and so on and on until the person at the very end says whatever they heard and if its done right the final sentence is wildly different than what you started with

an ART telephone game is the same kind of concept, except one person draws out a scene or character, and then other artists draw THEIR interpretation of whats going on, and so forth until the last person can end up with something COMPLETELY different than what the first scene was

youd think thered be less room for error with drawings, but as each person ONLY sees what the person ahead of them has made, they can get PRETTY OUT THERE - im gonna be a part of pythosarts game, and theyve done a couple of em before - for example one round started with THESE as the first two drawings

and then fourteen interpretations later, ended up with these as the final two

its good its real good

I Cant Control Where Bigfoot Goes, I Can Only Take Note Of Where Hes Been

YEAH, sort of ! on the main, iguanamouth, i have a bunch of different tags for art depending on what they are but not really a catchall one, BUT i do have an art only blog where everything gets tossed over ! 

HONESTLY THE ADVICE i got is basically what all art advice is gonna boil down to eventually - you gotta just. do it. you gotta DO it

absolutely nobody you know who draws things well started out at the level theyre currently at, and putting down the things youre visualizing onto paper is a combination of getting the the technical aspects down as much as getting the idea in your head

and that goes with figuring out anatomy and how bodies are put together ! ive got to use references for a Million things,. especially the dragon hoards - theres absolutely nothing wrong with using references for your drawings ! and being able to create accurate representations of things without looking is something that comes more with drawing something over and over and memorizing the body shape more than just, feeling like you should KNOW how to do something

so dont beat yourself up for needing references. if youre trying to shy away from them a little bit but still cant make something look nice without em, try using several different reference photos to put together an entirely different pose ? 

theres ALSO the SHRIMP METHOD, which is great for practicing and getting good at one particular thing - this probably isnt SUPER HELPFUL but good luck ! 

god i tried. exactly ONCE maybe fourish years ago but it wasnt art, i was trying to stream the lion king movie and i had no idea what i was doing, i didnt realize i needed to wear headphones so the sound wouldnt snowball into a feedback loop of my own voice that never ended but i kept laughing and it kept distorting worse and worse, like the audio version of saving and resaving something as a jpeg

it was just me and my friend ronni in the stream and ONE other person who never left and never said anything and i kept addressing them out loud like WHO ARE YOU and that only compounded the noise problem and eventually i gave up

anyway i havent tried since

i uhhhhh dont think i COULD, really - fear especially is something thats kind of subjective and one persons Big Terror could be neutral or even cute to another person

like for me i used to have a lot of childhood fears about the ocean, and how deep and dark and vast it was, to the point where i couldnt play a lot of water levels in video games, even ( but i had almost drowned several times when i was Very young which probably had, a little somethin to do with that )

maybe sometime ill try to explore things IM afraid of, but its hard to encompass a psychological response in an image !! could be a fun experiment, though ! !

a few PLANT ANIMAL AZKZ, HUH, DONT HAVE A WORKING Z KEY

SHIT DUDE THESE ARE... SO GOOD thats the official name EVEN IF i didnt use. a daffodil as the flower base. it doesnt matter 

yes

i got A BUNCH of flower and plant themed suggestions and theyre all REALLY GOOD ( way more than these ) but straight up im taking a break from em for a while - if anybody is else is reading this though you should definitely tackle one of em

WASABI ASKS

Do Not Feed Animals The Paste

i keep going back to read this ask because you could replace wasabi with my name and its the exact same. its the same. i feel like i have to hide somewhere

this was real and this is the award they gave us

there were other awards but the judges refused to give them out. they burned them in front of the other dogs. we won

it depends on the age ! wasabis pretty much an adult, so her sheds are pretty infrequent ( usually once every 7-8 months ) BUT when she was still growing back like 6 years ago, she would do a full-body shed every other month !

wasabi accepts tokens of appreciation in the form of : fruit, green beans. No Exceptions

i would never seperate wasabi from her hands

absolutely..... not. not even a little bit h h hh a this isnt a disney animal companion, i dont even know what “kind of like a dog” means with , a lizard who cant make any vocalizations or get up on their hind legs or NOTHIN sometimes if i hold a piece of fruit on my hand and she reaches for it she gets confused on whats what and tries to bite my fingers instead

ONCE WHEN SHE was attacking her reflection in a mirror i put my hand in front of her face to break eye contact and she SUNK HER TEETH RIGHT IN THERE but immediately let go like “oh whoops”

lissten . . .  wasabi is so sharp, just absolutely everywhere, and these are the sharpest. the grabbers

heres a lil battle damage from earlier today actually

this is pretty tame BUT the long long lines are from claws, and the thinner, closer together ones are from holding her and her scales scraping against the skin. so not even just the Body is completely safe ! this is not an animal youre gonna wanna get your face real close to if theyre in a walkin mood

she doesnt even MEAN to scratch the shit outta me, its just kind of a byproduct of being a big tree lizard. her tail is absolutely the worst thing to get hit by though. the WORST. lucky me she doesnt attack anything that isnt a dog or a vacuum cleaner or her own reflection

ahhh i got her when i was 16 ! and i dont know her exact age but she was somewhere between 3-6 months when i get her - SHES probably closer to 9 years, but ive had her for about 8

LENGTH THOUGH...... the last time i measured her she was just barely under four and a half feet, but that was a few months ago and its possible shes. Just Slightly larger. shes currently sleeping as i type this so i guess we will never know

duel me

too late for coats..... its all tail action now

ROCK ASKS AND ALSO ASKS ABOUT PUTTING ROCKS IN YOUR MOUTH

oh MAN i feel you . . . . . . . . . . i dont think i could actually Bear To Eat any for real but some of em. just. they. i gotta. just. bite on em a LITTLE just a little bit, a tiny bit, a nibble

when i was real young i used to tap things against my teeth to tell what kind of substance they were made of based on the feeling/hardness/density WHATEVER and i still sometimes do it when im checking stuff out and. it uhhhhh sure is interesting finding out not a lot of people did that

a handful of these delicious raw agates, just for you

please stop spying on me

i DO NOT but you may eat this piece of bornite

meet me at the airport and ill cover your bus fair

theres a lotta different ways to figure out what kind of rocks you got but when you have absolutely no clue on where to start your best bet is to search for the biggest distinctive features of it, and try to narrow it down based on the results

like for something like these pieces of chalcedony, you could try “waxy green translucent mineral”, and from the search results find a few candidates that might be what you have on hand, and then look into each one to see if you can get a definite answer 

ive got a handful of rock and mineral guide books that i always pick through whenever i snag something im not sure of, and if youre REAL into it those are always something you could start keeping an eye out for 

now this is a REAL superficial way to telling what something is and wont be useful for a good chunk of minerals ( as a lot of samples can look really close to something else ) and THIS is a much more in depth way of telling something apart, but its also a lot more time consuming ! so good luck. and good eating.

Just Try And Fucking Stop Me

ANIMAL ASKS THAT ARENT............ ABOUT MY LIZARD

im married to this one actually

fuck. ok. heres. a secret. a In the ask Post secret. wasabi goes through a period that lasts a month every single year where she carries eggs in her gut, and spends that month not eating and digging around in everything, trying to find the right spot to lay these eggs. and. when it happens i never know what to do with them, and i dont want to just THROW THEM AWAY so i. eat them. i eat the eggs. i fuckin eat the eggs dude

Theyre All Goddesses

unless you plan on having your lizard roam around outside whenever they want, the outside environment doesnt really matter much for most reptiles as long as you set their habitat up right ! BUT i do know that australia has bans on certain reptiles ( iguanas are one of them ) and so youre gonna have to look up whats actually available in that area 

 bearded dragons are native and those are always a good option, but so are a lot of geckos - its really gonna depend on what youre into ( but i dont really recommend anoles if thats an option, because theyre fast as Hell and dont like being handled )

what the fuck is a bee

oh geez im sorry ! i remember going through this with spiders a lot when i was younger to the point where looking at photos of em used to be a fuckin, TRIAL 

you could try a really gradual exposure deal, where you start off with getting comfortable with just images, and slowly working your way to dealing with one in a controlled setting ( like a petstore, maybe ? not HANDLING em or anything, but just being near one in a way where its absolutely impossible for them to touch you )

the shitty thing about this kind of phobia is that even if you KNOW its irrational theres sometimes not a lot you can do about it, but if you can stand looking at photos of them you could try learning up about them, and finding out the types of species youre likely to encounter around your house, and seeing how many ( if any ) are ones you should avoid ?

i know some people that have major problems with snakes are because theyre unsure if the ones they find are poisonous or not, and it might go a long way to confirm that the reptiles you meet wont be able to harm you even if they TRIED ( which is gonna be the case with a lotta house geckos, they cant do SHIT youre a GIANT )

very VERY few lizards have venomous bites, and the worst most of em can do is give you a bloody finger if theyre large enough, and even then its usually not much worse than a cat scratch !

still though, if youre really serious about trying to get past this, dont force yourself too quick into what you think you SHOULD be, and take tiny steps outta your comfort level when you can

this probably isnt uhhh SUPER helpful hh hhah but good luck !  shit im going through this post and its like ALL reptile photos. im sorry

i feel about them, with my hands

MMM it shouldnt HURT them unless theres something Really wrong, considering its a natural procession of growth, BUT its definitely itchy as hell, to the point where reptiles trying to remove it will drag their bodies over stones or walls tryin to get it off

sometimes wasabi drags her whole hind foot over her head like a dog to get it off and it is. a Sight

ahhh honestly there arent a lotta reptiles thatre gonna do much more than TOLERATE the touch and not really, enjoy it, like a dog or cat or bird

but speaking from experience with wasabi, youll probably want to avoid most the head and stick with the top of the back near the sides - wasabi doesnt enjoy having her tail messed with much either, but shes ok with her dewlap and feet being touched

the most important thing to keep an eye out for when youre touching one is their body language, because  THATS gonna be a dead giveaway for whether you need to back off or not

closing their eyes is a sign of stress, not enjoyment ! same with tilting the head back, but if thats ALL theyre doing then youre probably not gonna face any retaliation

B U T if theyve got an extended dewlap with a raised body or tail off the ground, not a good idea to interact with em ! thats a defensive posture, and you risk getting hit with a tail or even bitten if your hand gets too close

youve got more to risk with males, who are way more territorial and generally larger, but if they seem pretty chill when you approach and dont stand up and stare at you, youre probably in the clear

COCK of the ROCK

I HAVE im so jealous of anybody whos got to see one in person - actually handling one is a level beyond that which i could even comprehend

OTHER THINGS.....

no but i was bit by a pigeon once

this is the only joke i know

i fuckin WISH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ayy im into it - honestly i havent been following the band so much as just kinda, picking up whatever anybody else mentions and so my knowledge on Gorillaz Lore is pretty uhhhh h hh h scattered but im definitely interested in seeing where this goes

i remember watching the first and second season and it being pretty good - some of the episodes and jokes are hit and miss but you absolutely got me with the creature and alien design

havent seen any of the third season yet though !

i mean the fruit ones could be pretty up there 

how bout. an abstract concept. who cares about physical forms wheres the dragon of melancholy 

why come theres nothing to eat in my apartment but bread. im good otherwise but its all just bread

i havent watched either of em in YEARS and YEARS but i distinctly remember. these lil dancing mushrooms

oh wait FUCK 

FUCK !!!!!!!!!

no... NO.... she is not allowed to eat ANYTHING from the plan shelf, try as she MIGHT

im a little mad that this sill isnt bigger because the only other one that gets sun is in my room and wasabi WIll... absolutely eat those. no doubt. a convenient and expensive salad, for my awful gremlin 

god im looking at these and its all jade plants isnt it

little golden books taste the best but they can make you sick if you have too many at once. my favorite genre for snacking is sci fi fantasy but anything over 300 pages tends to get a little tough if you dont break it up with smaller chunks. non fictions always a gamble because the taste is wildly different each time but you can usually tell how ripe it is by the cover color

ayy im already a big fan of some of their stuff, ive got a couple songs from them in my music tag - im especially into i miss you and their shut up and bring it here remix

TOP FIVE THINGS

1

2

3

4

5

this is barely related but once i filled up a bathtub with water and then dumped about ten bags worth of mint tea into it and then just. soaked around in the tea. listen it was really nice. id try the cheese

i dont have any ships but i was on one of those model pirate boats once for a school trip. our boat was named naruto and the other one was named sasuke and the captains shouted “make them kiss” and ran them into each other. everybody on board drowned

youre trying to trick me into googling yoshi without shoes and its not going to work

me reading this message from the safety of my apartment :

nice try, but wrong again ! : )

THIS IS GOOD info, thank you

oh SHIT the other side of paradise, take a slice, life itself, and season 2 episode 3 are all my Big Faves

the way you phrased this makes me think you already have a strong opinion on it

hey uh. coming from a person who was absolutely CONVINCED that theyd be dead in the future when they were 12, a not insignificant part of that was me feeling that there was something irreversibly wrong with me for not behaving or acting in certain ways based on what was going downstairs

and obviously im still HERE but it means i can understand how devastatingly terrible it can feel when youre that young and it seems like the way you behave and feel are flawed, or dirty, and anything that can lessen that feeling and make you comfortable in your own body is huge, can save your life

not that im saying its always a LIFE OR DEATH decision !

i guess if youre viewing it as adults forcing a child into making decisions that you dont think theyre capable of understanding its easy to be hesitant about getting behind it, but nobody is forcing a child to be trans. nobody has tricked them into feeling this way. you cant just walk in and get started on treatment on an immediate whim - some programs require 2 YEARS of concrete evidence before theyll even consider it

i feel like you should try speaking to the parents of trans children before you really put down a concrete opinion on whether this is a good or bad thing, and seeing the difference ( if any ) its made in their lives 

people whove detransitioned, or found they had ultimately a different identity than the one they were exploring could also be an avenue to look intto ! i have several acquaintances who, after a period of years, found they werent trans but wouldnt take back the time where they were figuring out if they were, and i know this doesnt invalidate the friends i have who ARE 

ultimately this is what it boils down to for me : Its Sure Gotta Beat Being Dead

i WILL give you that ive definitely seen a lot of overreactions to seemingly innocuous topics on this website

but youve also got to keep in mind that everybody who is saying these things MEANS them, and to them theres a completely reasonable explanation to why they feel that way

im not saying you should blindly accept any criticism you get, but to instead try to get a grasp on WHY theyre responding the way they are instead of immediately dismissing it

its because i cant drive and they wont let me sit in the front on account of the smell

NICE THINGS

AHHHH I GOT.. a bunch of other really sweet messages to the point where id feel weird about putting em ALL UP BUT... IF YOU SENT ME SOMETHING i can promise i absolutely saw it and it made my day better and just, holy shit, thank you for taking time out of your life to say anything to me at all

because you didnt have to, even a little bit

youre all beautiful and im kissing you on the mouths all at once. no take backs

[positivefishglub]

Good Morning!

Two Apps I Suggest!

Hey guys I wanted to show you guys two apps I use on a daily basis for self care. Im super bad at remembering to do simple things, even more so while im at work so these help me a lot and I thought they might help you too!

Keep in mind I use android, im unsure if they are on all platforms

1)Water Reminder-Water Tracker & Drink Water Healthy

Yeesh long name but it says it all! This app helps you track your water intake throughout the day and you can set reminders to be sure you dont forget!

You set it up by putting in your gender and weight and how active you are (sadly there isnt a non binary option but maybe a future update?) As well as when you get up in the morning normally and when you go to bed.

The time you put in to go to bed it will send you an alert that it has white noise music ready for you to listen to so you can get ready to sleep, but ive noticed they all seem to not loop correctly so instead I use the second app ill talk about in a moment.

This app also leaves a constant notification on your phone and you can add in water from it. But there is a way to turn it off!

Overall id give it probably about a 8/10? I really enjoy the water aspect but theres updates that could be made to the music part, but its a great app!

2)Tide

This is an app I use in place of the music in the first app. Usually I go to bed earlier than everyone else in my house due to my job and since my rooms on the bottom floor I hear every step of my family and our fuzzy friends (5 dogs!) Ill usually sleep with headphones on at night so I dont hear anything, or just have it playing without headphones

You have a choice between a sleep timer (you can customize the time) or a nap timer, (it has set ones for 15, 30 and 60 minutes, but you can customize it too)

Theres a few diffrent sound option to choose from, some you have to pay for but you get Storm (My favorite), Night, Stream, Muse, Supper, Her City, and Journey for free. The paid ones are Stove Fire (.99 cents), Spring Rain (1.99), Ocean (.99 cents), Flight (1.99) and Train (.99 cents).

At some point during the night it turns the sound off but the alarm it sets with what time you wake up stays.

It also has a whole meditation/focus area of the app I havent even looked at yet, but if its as good as the rest of the app itll be great.

Also on the home page it has super nice quotes each day. For example today it says "Look at the stars. Look how they shine for you. -Rock Band, Coldplay"

It also has a lovely aestetic to it, its very simple but colorful and cute.

This overall gets a solid 9/10, I love the set up and choices, a few mre would be nice buts great as is. Since I havent used the meditation/focus area of it k, not including that but maybe ill update this with a review for that part.

~

But yeah thats all for this good morning post, ive been away from this blog on and off (yet again lol) but I cant be sure it wont happen again just due to time and energy but im gonna try to check it more often, and start shedueling post on my days off so its still something to brighten your day a little!

In other news we almost reached 2,000! Thats crazy! Again im sorry I havent been as active but thank you so much for staying! Maybe eventually ill do a contest if we hit something but im not sure yet. If you guys have any ideas let me know what youd like to see! While im not good at digital art, as you can tell by our little purple mascot, im great at arts and crafts (id show you some but theyre posted on my main too I think and im super secret mod ;D unless im not then whoops haha!)

Anyways I hope you guys have a good day! Stay positive!

[morningpages-louise]

July 28, 2018

Hello huhu this shouldnt be morning pages when i end up writing these at random points of the day huhu its so hard kasi like i wish i could wake up at around like 6 am or something para i can fit in all my morning routine juju but like that is nearly impossible i already feel like death when i wake up at 7.. i dont know my sleeping is so fucked up fuck im listening to cinema by tom misch and damn the lyrics are actually quite relatable. what a beautiful tune. two lovers in this mystic stream. ugh reminds me of tsai. huhu cge my new maoy song. pero anyways today is july 28, 2018. it's a saturday. i was actually gonna start my RYC weekend retreat but like ya girl just don't got the time huhu maybe this weekend for sure! other things i want to do this weekend is to make this room a little more like home. pin up the california flag, wrap the fairy lights around the bed. i guess thats it like i want to hang my dream catchers pero like i dont wanna stick too much in the room cause we might be charged a lot huhu but yeah. to be honest ive grown to really look forward to these morning thought sessions. it's so nice to dump all your thoughts and check in on how youre feeling. stop from the commotion and tiredness that life often brings and just revel in the moment you know. it's a very chill weeekend but very understandable since everyones got shit to do. it's sila kristine and kathy's last weekend na which is like cray. like this term went by so fast but it also went by so slow if you know what im saying.. ugh what a beautiful song puta tom misch is a god i want to see him live :(( okay no im gonna watch kygo. i will watch kygo! so anyways omg 11:11 my wish is that im gonna ace my radio drama <3 that is all hehe and that i will have a good week ahead of me and also get adequate sleep and just be a happy butterfly all around. i feel happy. today i attended a one hour and 30 minute yoga session in urban ashram. beautiful studio! it was big and they had high ceilings and lots of props and free yoga mats na and open windows. it was a good session and great location! probaby will try again hehe so anyways im gonna go yoga again. at first i was thinking should I? like i need sleep man cause i already know im not gonna get any this week but idk i love yoga and i want my practice to be consistent so hell yes im going hehe and maybe i can check out legazpi right after? kind of want to grab some toby's estate. they have great coffee. speaking of coffee i went to an amazing coffee house earlier called % arabica. it's located in Fort and it is beautiful. i was so enthralled by the aesthetics. very minimalistic and japanese. i found out later that it is in fact a Japanese brand. i read the philosophy and it was quite inspiring. the founder sounds like me char lol i went there with albie and we had a really good and stimulating conversation. i love albie because you can go really deep. he is a highly intelligible person to be honest and i feel like a total airhead when im with him sometimes but i just like how i find it so easy to talk to him. ive been having some very meaningful conversations with people lately. deep talks. talks that don't just revolve over the shallow trivialties of every day life. wala lang. it's nice to get deep with a person. it's very lami. very juicy lol thats the only way i can describe it. so yeah anyways what else oh yes i also had lunch with him in sunnies cafe. all in all it was a great day. i forget how nice bgc actually is. it's so damn clean and so green and im so glad i have someone to go with whenever im there since albie lives there so i can always hit him up if i want a chat or a quick hangout hehe so yeah what else huh i was gonna say something but i forgot oh yes speaking of japanese culture, i have started this new show called terrace house. ive always heard of it and ive always seen kristine watching it but man i do love it. i love shows that revolve around human connection, human relationships. i have no clue why maybe its because im just enthralled by humanity and how we connect with one another. connection thats a topic that has really interested me. like the reason why i love sense8 so much is because of the connectedness that they shared. i dont know terrace house just feels so damn genuine and real and it reflects who we are as a generation for me. all striving to figure out what we want to do with this grand life of ours and going through myriads of personalities while were at it lol so i guess i use big and profoud words when i write at night. cge damn its getting easier to write noh like thoughts just flow you know there's a lot of interesthing things in my head that i want to tackle. right now im reading this book The Untethered Soul and to be honest it's so damn interesting.. pero like i dont got the time to read it so SADNESS :( yeah okay cge gotta get to my other tasks and trivialties so ill see ya laters.

[oh-hella-there]

how i met your mother

hi fellas! long time no post, i’ve been busy because of my highschool life. the tasks, the topics, the teachers are make me a little bit overwhelming.

lately i found an app which i can stream movies or reality shows in it. it called iflix, and im soooo grateful i found it! it killed every boredom attacks. maybe the movies are not that much but i like it still tho. it has so many reality shows such as the bigbang theory, how i met your mother, f.r.i.e.n.d.s, teen wolfs, pretty little liars etc.

then my friend, nathan uploaded some snapgram says that he really enjoyed watching himym and now that he has done watching the entire shows he doesnt know what to do anymore. so i became interested and i search himym on iflix and thank God, there is it. so i started to watch it. at the beginning, i dont feel any special from this show but i still watch it. i said to ipi that i was watching himym and he like, “wow. its good! great job sis” and i asked him, why? he said the shows are really good and so touching, even the genre is comedy but still some episodes are touching that made him cry. and i become more interested.

i found it cool, i love all main characters. i cant choose who i loved the most. i love all of them! they’re fit so perfectly. and because i was soo curious about who is the mother i watch the 2 last episodes and the episodes titled “how your mother met me”. then i know that the mother isnt robin, which whom i shipped with ted the most. the mom is tracy and i found she only appear a bit in the show. then i know some other truth that at first, made me dont want to watch the movie anymore but i still watch it anyway.

i love season 2, on that season ted and robin are date and they are sooo cute. i like them together. but in the lily and marshall’s wedding they announce that they had been broke up. it made me sad actually.

then today, my phone is died so i dont know what to do since i cant watch himym. so i open my laptop and go to youtube page. i search la vie en rose who sung by tracy mcconell. it is so good i love it! then the single step leads to million others, i watched bloopers, i watched 5 saddest moment which is SO SAD! i found the mother is died because terminally ill and it make me sad (it is when ted asked 45 extra days with the mother, when marshall’s dad dead, when barney asked robin to go with him but she refused--at the time barney has prepared some surprise and he go back earlier to throw away all the properties, when robin found out that she cannot have a kids on the christmas eve, when barney met idontknowwhoheis maybe barney’s dad? idk but it still sad). 

the plot is so unpredictable, i dont know what will happen next. i seriously dont expect robin would ended up marrying barney, which is both of them are not in to commitment person. i dont expect robin cant have kids. i dont expect ted marrying tracy. i dont expect the ending would be that sucks...:(

but overall, i just wanted to say that how i met your mother is so good. beyond good. its awesome and legendary. i enjoy watching it so much. i love that series but i would love it more if the ending is not like that. but yeah, who am i? hehe.