#anyways yeah the adhd makes it hard as well

[miodiodavinci]

head in hands like "maybe i should have realized this about myself sooner" as i am surrounded by neon flashing signs that Very Clearly Indicate the thing i should have realized about myself sooner

[iceeericeee]

I wonder how many tags i can add on to this

[sharkieboi]

it’s my weekend and I don’t have any appointments and it’s been snowing since like 2am so I’m having an indoor day to keep slowly organizing the new apartment and on purpose didn’t take my adhd meds (only have a few left and I’d rather save them for work if I’m going to have trouble refilling with all the weather closures) and Soup Brain certainly hits different when it’s not a workday. the lack of focus and memory still isn’t helpful but at least it doesn’t feel harmful when I forget what I’m supposed to be doing for an extended period of time.

[akai-anna]

i've been meaning to say for some time now (and now that i had a hard time remembering the word "sober" in english thanks to consuming a certain amount of alcoholic beverages actually doing it) but for everyone who i expecting a reply from me:

i'm sorry it's taking so long, my life's got hijacked by responsibilities and general family matters, which leave me with like 1 free hour (or less) in a day, so.

thank you for your patience, please wait for me a little more *wide puppy eyes look*

[inkskinned]

i love my therapist but i hate being in therapy. 10 minutes before my appointment, i'm in a meeting with my boss - we discuss my artistic choices; my boss recommends i artistically choose less. 10 minutes after therapy, i wash my hair and think about everything that was said, and then i have to switch it off, like a lamp, and go back to work again.

i was on a walk the other day and someone had the perfect combination of his cologne and whatever-else. it was almost exactly his scent. i fucking hate that. after all these years, i remember that? i tell my therapist - i feel like a fucking wolf. try telling a middle-aged blonde lady. oh i scented him on the air. i'm 30, and i'm having a panic attack over something that would be a plotline in the omegaverse.

what they don't tell you about mental illness is that if you are lucky enough to survive it into adulthood; it becomes a weird slice of your life. because you do, eventually, have to build a life. i realized in a panic somewhere around 22 - oh. i don't know what i'm fucking doing, because i always assumed i'd just go ahead and die. i didn't die, and i'm grateful for that, and i'm very happy about that choice. but it does mean that i am an adult in an apartment, living with my conditions side-by-side like. oh, that's my roommate, adhd. ignore the glass, bytheway, that's ocd.

so you pick your stupid life up by the scruff of the neck and you're, like glad for it (so much laughter and light and friends you would have never thought possible, when you were in the worst of it). but it feels so strange to be dancing around these odd little microcosms, these patchwork moments of your symptoms. if you have a panic attack at night, you still need to wake up and walk the dog in the morning. if your depression is making everything boring, well, you don't have any sick days left, and a job's not really supposed to be that exciting anyway. your ocd tears out each individual leg hair, and then, an hour later, you sigh, patch up the bloody bits, and go get dinner with friends. and the life is kitten-quiet, mewling and pathetic, but it's also like - it's yours, so you're fond of it.

and it's like - you're real. so you still enjoy pushing the shopping cart really fast and then riding on the back of it down an empty aisle. and you're not, like, so sick anymore that when you accidentally drop a mug you burst into tears (except for the days you do that. which are bad). and no, you're not allowed around certain items anymore. oops! but you've learned to be good about brushing your teeth most days of the week. and yeah sometimes in the middle of the day you have a little freak-out about how fucking unfair it all is, how fucking hard, how other people can just do this without having to fucking hurt the whole time. and then you sigh and force yourself to sit down and fucking journal about it so you can tell the nice middle-aged blonde woman yeah i had a hard day but i practiced grounding. you still sometimes want to burst out of your own skin, but you force yourself to eat kind-of healthy and to take your vitamins. you let yourself chop off all your hair in the sink in a dramatic poetry of control and relief - and you also have developed good hobbies that help you move your body more frequently. you feel helplessly behind, lost in the shuffle - but you also practice gratitude, taking stock of what you have garnered. because you're trying. even if you're never gonna be normal, you have something... close enough.

and the little kitten of your life, this mangy, starlit tigercub, this thing you expected to rot so young: in your arms, it turns itself over, belly-up. exposing this new soft part, all the organs and guts. like it's saying i trust you now. you won't give me up.

[hyperfixatedbastard]

one must grab the titty

Soft!Adam x AFAB!Reader

It's no surprise that Adam's big on physical touch, but you expected it to be - well, sexual. Turns out that this clingy, hypersexual douchebag actually likes innocent, nonsexual intimacy. Like holding your boobs just 'cause they're nice to hold.

Word Count: 926

WARNINGS: SFW (I think?), AFAB!Reader with gender neutral pronouns, mentions of sex, no sexual content, nonsexual intimacy

A/N: I kinda hate this but I'm tired of working on it, so here ya go! Apologies if you have no tits, but let's be honest, that wouldn't stop this bastard.

Dividers

Adam has some… odd habits, at least by Heavenly standards. Sometimes you wonder just how exactly he’s an angel, but you’ve learned to not question it. He may be a douchebag and an asshole, but he has his moments. He’s sweet with you, at least. You never expected him to be a doting, clingy boyfriend, but he certainly proved you wrong.

No matter where you are or what you’re doing, he’ll have an arm around your waist, or one of his wings loosely wrapped around you. Adam is a possessive guy (after hearing about the whole Lucifer debacle, you can’t really blame him), and he makes it clear with the way he interacts with you in public. And in private, he’s arguably worse—you’re lucky to sit down without him draping an arm over your shoulders to pull you in close, or practically pulling you into his lap. He’d never admit it, but you think he needs the reassurance that you’re still there, that you haven’t left him.

You’re not so sure about that theory once the touches go past cuddling.

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

"Adam," you begin in a suspicious tone. "What are you doing?"

The angel in question blinks back at you owlishly. His mask and robes have been traded out for some sweatpants and a t-shirt that reads ‘I Got ADHD’ with the subtitle ‘A Damn Hard Dick.’ The two of you are cuddling on the couch in your shared apartment, with some shitty action movie playing on the TV as you sit wrapped up in his arms and wings with your back to his chest (you didn’t think that action movies would be allowed in Heaven considering the murder and whatnot, but once again, you don’t question it).

"Hm?" he hums innocently. "I'm watching the fuckin' movie, babe."

You glance down to where his hand is shamelessly groping your boob over your shirt. You debate whether or not to even confront him about it, considering he isn't actually doing anything other than just holding your tit, but you ask anyways.

"Why is your hand on my boob, then?" you prompt, your eyes shifting between his face and where his hand is idly groping your chest.

Adam chuckles and breaks out into a smug grin. "What? Can't a guy hold his partner's tits?" He gently squeezes your boob for emphasis.

Your face heats up at that, and your eyes narrow in confusion. "Why do you want to?" 

"Uh, because they're fucking great," he answers incredulously, like you're the weird one here. He then brings his free hand up to hold your other boob. He gives them both a gentle squeeze, but doesn't do anything more than that. The lack of a sexual innuendo, joke, or proposition doesn’t make sense to you—it feels out of character for Adam, even after learning about his love of cuddling.

You just look at him, confused. Sure, you've always known that he's a boob guy, but this doesn't strike you as Adam's usual horny antics. But if it’s not sexual (which you still find hard to believe), what the fuck is it? 

He seems to realize that his original explanation isn’t good enough. "Look, hot stuff, boobs are just nice to fuckin' hold, y'know? All soft n' squishy n' shit."

You raise a brow at that. It’s a fair point, you suppose. "So, what, my tits are like stress balls for you?"

Adam laughs—not that loud, boisterous laugh he does when pranking some poor soul, but that more genuine, softer one few people ever got to hear. "Yeah, pretty fuckin' much, babe. They're comforting!"

You roll your eyes at him, albeit fondly, as a smile pulled at your lips. "Whatever works for you, I guess."

His smirk grows, and he squeezes your boobs a little firmer this time. "Oh, these beauties are fucking workin' for me, sweet cheeks."

You scoff, albeit lightheartedly, and swat at his shoulder. "Shut up and watch your damn movie."

Adam doesn’t respond, but he pulls you a little closer and gives your tits one last good squeeze before returning his attention to the TV—for the most part, at least. His hands don’t leave your chest, but they don’t really do much either. They’re just resting there, occasionally groping or giving a light squeeze. Damn, this really isn’t a sex thing for him, is it?

You’d already been shocked when you’d first realized how clingy Adam is. You were even more surprised to discover that he’s a fan of nonsexual intimacy in general, like cuddling and hugging without it leading to something more. And here he is, surprising you once again by doing something that should surely be sexual in his mind, yet treating it casually and barely even making sex jokes about it. 

A few more minutes into the movie, you can’t hide your curiosity anymore. “This really isn’t a sexual thing for you?”

Adam’s eyebrows raise, and he looks puzzled at your question before breaking out into a smirk. “Why, do you want it to be?”

You scoff and shake your head. “No, I’m just… surprised, is all.”

“Hey! I can appreciate some nice boobs without it being sexual,” he protests, and he sounds at least partially serious.

“Okay, okay, I believe you,” you assure him with a soft laugh. “I didn’t say it was a bad thing.”

“Good, ‘cause I fuckin' like this,” Adam remarks, once again squeezing your boobs for emphasis. You just fondly roll your eyes at him and go back to watching the movie.

Having a clingy boyfriend is pretty nice, actually.

Taglist: @3sire-777

[lostgirlmuseum]

Pulse 💗

Summary: Bucky can hear your heartbeat through the wall, and he can tell everything isn’t alright.

Pairing: Bucky x gn!Reader

Words: 600 (exactly 600, holy moly)

Warnings: None really, just mentions of anxiety and adhd. Wrote this within an hour, sorry if its bad

A/N: Self indulgent fic alert! This goes out to all my peeps who struggle with ADHD/anxiety. It sucks, but hang in there!

Divider credit: @saradika

Knock. Knock. Knock.

“Come in,” you called, not looking up from the papers on your desk.

A brief second passed, and the door creaked open. A cautious Bucky peeked his head in.

“Hey, are you okay?” He asked.

You suddenly became aware of your leg bouncing 70 miles an hour, and forced yourself to stop. 

“Yes, why?” You replied, ignoring the urge to get up and walk around.

“Well, I—” he hesitated, and brought his hand to rub the back of his neck, “I was passing by and I heard your heartbeat going really fast—super hearing and all that,” he awkwardly chuckled.

“120,” you stated, glancing at your watch.

“What?”

“My heart rate is 120 right now.”

“That’s pretty high for just sitting,” he responded, having a hard time hiding his concern.

“Well, y’know, anxiety,” you breathily laughed, but it wasn’t that funny.

“What are you anxious about? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“Nothing.” You sighed, lowering your pen and facing him. At this point he was now in your room, perched in front of your door.

“Doesn’t seem like nothing.”

“Seriously, I’m kinda freaking out over nothing right now.”

“C’mon, you’re always telling me I’m valid for having concerns, you are too.”

“No, I mean there is literally no singular thing I’m anxious about right now—it’s just physical anxiety, the general feeling that I’m going crazy, or dying, I don’t know, both I guess. That sounds so dramatic. I really am fine. I mean, I’m not fine, but I am, yeah?” You rambled on and on, and cursed yourself when you noticed your leg had started bouncing again.

“I don’t think you’re okay, do you want me to bring you to Dr. Cho?”

“That’s sweet of you, but I don’t think there’s much she can do. The worst of this should pass in thirty minutes anyway, it’s just my meds.”

“Oh.” 

You could tell Bucky wanted to ask more, but wasn’t sure if it was polite.

“I have ADD. ADHD, whatever you want to call it. So I take medicine so I can focus on certain tasks, like these reports. And it does help me focus, but it’s also a stimulant, so it also gives me a lot of anxiety, which is totally awesome!” You scoffed.

“Why do you keep stopping your leg from bouncing?”

“I don’t know, I don’t want to annoy you.”

“If bouncing your leg makes you feel better, it doesn’t bother me.”

“I feel like I’m embarrassing myself,” you whined. 

Beep.

You looked at your watch.

“Oh, look at that, 126!”

“Do you—would…would a hug be something that would help you? Calm you down?” He offered, casually putting his arms out for emphasis.

“Sure, Bucky,” you smiled, and stood up to meet him halfway. You knew it wouldn’t fix it, but it certainly couldn’t hurt.

Bucky wrapped you in a big embrace, and you were shocked by how warm and teddy-like it was. You gave a small sigh, and rested your face in his neck, knowing you weren’t going to be the first to let go.

He held onto you for longer than you expected, just calmly swaying together in your room. 

To your dismay, he eventually let go of you. You were about to thank him and return to your work, but he gently grabbed your wrist and brought your watch to his sight. 

“107. Good, but I think we can do better than that,” he sweetly smiled, and wrapped you back up into his arms. 

“It might take a while.” You mumbled into his shirt.

“As long as it takes.” He cooed.

A/N: Should be either A) studying for a history exam I have tmw, or B) writing my stupid essay that the rough draft is due tmw, but I wrote this instead bc I’m procrastinating  HELP ME

[sweetiecutie]

Pairing: husband! Tom Riddle x fem! wife! Reader

Warnings: NSFW, kinda public sex but there’s no one around, fluff!!, kinda domestic and soft, inaccurate bc there’s no way sexy two pieces existed back in the 1950’s💀, once again my horrible knowledge of basic grammar

A/n: really felt like writing lil something for hubby Tom🥰 Sorry for disappearing for such a long period, I have lots of cool ideas and drafts but my adhd never allows me to finish any on them;( Anyways, wish you a very pleasant reading and hope you enjoy💖

It was a sultry sunny day, the kind you experience in the middle of September, when calendar summer is already gone but the sun still gladdened people with last warm days.

It took you only a few days of bothering and fake accusation of not loving you to convince your husband Tom to finally take a day off from his job at ‘Borgin and Burkes’ and go have some fun together on a beach. He was grumpy and pouty for the first half an hour, but then seemed to accept his fate, indulging your little whims and wishes.

You didn’t manage to talk him into taking a swim together, no matter how hard you tried, but Tom did, eventually, took his shoes off and rolled up the cuffs of his trousers, standing ankles-deep into warm sea water, watching you dive and dork around in salty waves.

You were currently laying on your side on a soft picknick blanket facing Tom, left arm bent in elbow, head propped up on your hand, your eyes lazily wandering all over your husband’s side profile. He was laying on his back right next to you, arms thrown behind his head, nape resting on his palms.

Tom had changed. The juvenile plushness was long gone from his cheeks, instead leaving place for his sharp jawline and protuberant cheekbones. His hair was a slightest bit longer than it used to be during your school years, framing his pale face in dark silky waves. You noticed how he was nibbling on the inside of his bottom lip ever so slightly - a telltale sign that Tom was thinking intensely about something faraway. You fought the urge to trace the outline of his nose with gentle fingertips, knowing perfectly well how grouchy and whiny he’ll get at this action.

Your eyes wandered lower, taking in his outfit - even despite the scorching sun and high air temperature Tom refused to ditch his usual suit trousers and, this time, baby-blue shirt - instead opting to undo quite a few buttons, allowing a generous view on his pale chest.

A sudden idea visited your mind so you sat up from your semi-lying position, throwing one leg over Tom’s hips, settling yourself atop his pelvis comfortably. Your nimble fingers ran up his chest, caressing exposed areas of his skin with tender touches, all the way to his face, cradling it softly in your hands; you leaned down to scatter small kisses all over his cheeks, nose and lips.

- Y/n, what are you doing? - Tom chided you softly, the corners of his lips tugging up in slightest of smiles, even though it was pretty obvious that he was unpleased with you interrupting his thoughts.

- Trying to seduce you, - you replied stoically, not a hint of embarrassment nor unease could be heard in your purring voice.

- Right here? - Tom asked, you could hear his voice rising just a slightest bit, giving out his astonishment.

- Yeah, why not? - you said offhandedly, your lips stretching in a cheeky smile, gazing down at your husband mischievously.

- What if someone sees us? - Tom rose yet another question, cocking one of his perfect eyebrows at you.

You made a show of looking around the deserted beach, not spotting a single soul being around; not only this place was secluded by dangerously high cliffs, making it extremely hard for reaching, but also the fact that it was Wednesday - a middle of a working week - reduced chances of anyone being around to zero.

You brought your sight back to Tom, shrugging your shoulders theatrically:

- I can’t see nor hear anyone, Tommy. - one of your hands reached behind your back, gripping on the straps of your two-piece swimming suit, tugging on it slowly, un-doing the tight knot. You didn’t bother to untie the second knot on your neck, instead deciding to pull the bra off over your head, throwing it teasingly on top of your husband’s chest. - I think you’re just being a buzzkill that you are, Riddle.

You made an accent on the last word, watching Tom’s eyes wander to your now exposed tits, noticing your hardened from still unpleasantly damp fabric of your bra nipples. You cupped your breasts, pinching your nubs with thumbs and index fingers, all while slightly rocking your hips against Tom’s clothed groin, sighing erotically at the slight friction it created against your clit.

You repeated your movements a few more times, circling and swaying your hips so sensually, putting more pressure into your thrusts, increasing a pleasant feeling against both your sexes. You peeked down at Tom through your eyelashes, noting the way his chiseled jaw clenched, his dark eyes never leaving your perfect body.

You smiled widely at his hungry stare, leaning down to place a soft kiss on his chopped from salty sea wind lips - he kissed you back almost immediately. Tom’s hands came from under his nape, picking your bra from his chest and tossing it aside before coming to rest on your waist, thumbs pressing gentle circles into your heated skin.

His slim fingers wandered all over your body, eventually reaching your plushy thighs - rough fingertips glided up and down your skin, rising herds of goosebumps in their wake, stopping on your ass, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

You could feel Tom’s dick hardening at your simple manipulations, his bulge growing noticeably bigger in his pants, rubbing against your soft ass with every smallest move you made. You didn’t bother taking Tom’s trousers off, just undoing his zipper and pulling his semi-hard dick out of his underwear. You wrapped your fingers around his shaft, pumping it slowly a few times, your eyes never breaking an eye contact.

You straightened up, standing on your knees; you struggled quite a bit while taking off your bottoms, since this position wasn’t the most comfortable. You heard Tom muttering quiet ‘oh god’ under his breath in feigned annoyance, obviously teasing you, for which you lightly smacked him on the chest.

Once done and completely naked you slightly scooted forward so that your awaiting pussy was hovering right above Tom’s heavy cock. You gave him a few more jerks before leading it to your slicked folds, sliding them along his throbbing shaft, properly slicking him up with your juices. After a few more moments you aligned his swollen tip with your pulsing entrance, lowering your hips slowly, gently sinking onto his length. A satisfied sigh left both of you once Tom was fully buried inside of your quivering warmth, your ass pressed tightly against his thighs.

His broad hands came to rest on the swell of your hips, molding and playing with soft flesh in between his long fingers. You let out a small whimper as you could feel Tom’s cock stuffing you full, his tip was pressed against your cervix so deliciously, all along with a pleasant stretch on your plushy walls.

You rose your hips carefully, still adjusting to your current position, sliding off half of his length, and sank back down onto his cock, providing such desired friction. You watched his adam’s apple bob as Tom swallowed heavily, and you repeated your actions a few more times, until you found a comfortable rhythm, impaling yourself over and over again on his steady cock.

Your hands came to rest on Tom’s chest, supporting yourself against his body, back arching at the pleasant feeling of his dick grazing all the right spots inside of your throbbing pussy. Soft moans spilled out of your lips as one of Tom’s hands went down to play with your clit, skillfully circling and massaging swollen nub with the tips of his fingers. Your head lolled back, a loud cry of your husband’s name rolled off your tongue as you quickened the pace of your thrusts, rocking against him so passionately.

Tom rested one hand on your nape, putting a bit of pressure into his touch, indicating for you to lean down. You did so, lowering your torso until your chest was pressed flush against his; your lips found his in a matter of moments, connecting in a fervid kiss, his tongue slithering into your mouth, making you gasp in surprise.

Your loud moan was swallowed by Tom’s greedy mouth as he unexpectedly thrusted his hips up into your perfect squelching pussy from underneath; his free hand was gripping onto your waist tightly, fixating you into this position. You broke your kiss, burying your flushed face into the crook of his neck as his hips picked up a quick pace, fucking your pussy raw with his throbbing cock.

- Yeah? You like that, you little minx? - Tom rasped into your ear, his lips brushed against your ear shell, making you tremble slightly. You nodded your head ‘yes’ fervently, leaving open-mouthed kisses all over the side of his neck.

- I love it so much, Tommy. Please, don’t stop, please, please, - you babbled out incoherently, your mind hazed and barely working from intense pleasure rolling through your body in waves.

Tom slid his hand from your nape and along your spine, all the way down to your jiggly ass, especially relishing to grab and mold your pliable flesh with his fingers. The hard, smooth strokes of his cock inside your slicked pussy caused ecstasy to well up inside you, your body prickling, almost painfully, in foretaste of a nearing orgasm.

Your hands grabbed on Tom’s biceps, you could feel his muscles flexing underneath your touch. You bit down onto his shoulder, eliciting a quiet hiss from the man underneath you, knowing how much he disliked when you left hickeys in such obvious places. His hand left your waist to slide in between your pressed bodies, fingers finding your clit, rubbing tight circles onto it, bringing you closer and closer to your orgasm.

- Tom, ‘m gonna cum, ‘m gonna cum, please don’t stop, - you mumbled into his skin, hot and bothered, and you felt him nod at your words, his hips picking up faster pace, snapping loudly against your pliant body.

White stars hit your vision, as you felt your orgasm rippling through your trembling form, setting every nerve in your body on fire in intense pleasure. You didn’t register all the moans and pleadings slipping past your lips as you babbled in your euphoria, your quivering pussy along with dirty words only brought Tom closer to his own release.

Tom followed you soon enough, cumming with a groan and a low moan of your name, dumping his thick load deep inside of you. You laid rigid atop him, both of you trying to catch your breaths, listening to the soft whisper of wind and sea. Surprisingly, Tom was the one who broke the comfortable silence:

- A few more moments and I’d go deaf on one ear, - Tom commented and you didn’t understand what he was talking about. It took you a few moments to realize that all this time you were moaning and screaming uncontrollably mere centimeters away from his ear, surely causing a lot of discomfort, especially knowing how sensitive man was to any sort of noises.

You chuckle airily, muttering quiet ‘sorry, darling’ under your breath, your hand going up to comb your fingers through his silky, now knotted, hair, massaging his scalp lovingly.

Dragging Tom all the way here was definitely a good decision.

Likes, reblogs and comments are highly appreciated! Feedback is basically the only thing that keeps writers creating new content

[thrandilf]

Having ADHD to me is spending so much time avoiding feeling bad instead of feeling good

Like sure I can work under pressure, and that pressure involves getting homework in on time to avoid a negative consequence, forcing myself to go to class to avoid that negative consequence, making myself go to work so I get paid which I need to live, trying really hard to not fuck up in group settings so I don't feel guilty, doing household chores because I have to-

But I rarely get actual senses of accomplishment from any of it

Because it's all baseline stuff I have to do to avoid feeling bad. I get a sense of relief, maybe, but not the actual good/yay/charge from it that apparently others do

I only get that from what I call extra credit stuff, which are things I want to do like creative/fun things, or exceeding expectations in something like I worked ahead or something turned out really well

Which obviously isn't all the time

So i plod along most of the time just doing what I literally have to and then I STILL ask myself to do more so I don't feel like a failure/empty/like I did something I personally got a kickback from and not just oh, yeah, perfect grades are my expectation so I don't feel Proud I'm just relieved it isn't bad

Anyway. I don't know what to do about it/maybe I can get my brain to release some kinda Good Job chemicals for things that aren't just extra credit/fun to me but. Cries

[danieyells]

hi! any chance you'd be able to post some of kaito's voicelines? I would love to see them <33

Our wanna-be knight and pathetic little best friend! He's just such a good boy lol. . .once again, another one who just wants to go back to a normal life, poor thing. Kaito's very much your vanilla, sweet boyfriend character with no frills attached, aside from his cowardice and his gambling habit of course. And his terrible aim. . . .

Copying all of them over isn't hard now that I've done it twice. Let's do it again for Kaito!

Hello: (the first time the game is opened after that character is set as home screen NPC. Only happens once per day, unless the character is switched out and back.)

"{PC}! Over here! Hiya!"

You've Got Mail: (whenever there's something in the inbox, usually Arena rewards)

"Hey, new message. Better check it out, yeah? Or are you the type who's got like a ton of of unread inbox messages?"

. . .shut up /absolutely that type (and a sincere apology to literally everyone i know for that my adhd doesn't let me read and respond to their messages--)

Default: (requires no affinity, has no time constraints)

"God, please don't make me go on any more missions... It's not like me being there is any help to anyone anyway..."

"Oh yeah, have you been on WickHive yet? Someone leaked next month's cafeteria menu! Oh wait... I-I already told you that, didn't I?!"

"Damn it... I could've taken {PC} to lunch with that money! God, why am I such a moron?!"

"Ask me anything you want to know! I'm pretty savvy when it comes to Darkwick!"

honestly the fact that he's a second year who doesn't wanna be here and doesn't wanna be doing all of this but he still knows like everything about the school is also kinda sus to me. . .surely he'd divest himself from as much of darkwick as possible if he didn't care

"Urgh... Limited time only, you are not my friend... Huh? Oh, I'm on TikTok. I really want this, but I'm pretty broke this month..."

Affinity 1: (between 5am and 11am)

"Ahem... Testing, testing... Morning! Heh, nailed it... Ack! How long've you been there, {PC}?!"

Affinity 2: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Phew, should be safe here... EEEEEEEEEEK! Oh thank god, it's just a cat... I thought he found me..."

romeo oh romeo didn't you get into enough shit for this romeo? just make sure it's not Romeo cat. Because I'm sure it'll tell him somehow--

Affinity 3: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Shit, it's Luca… Judging by the outfit he must be going to train. I better bail before he tries to rope me in too…"

Affinity 4: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Eeeek?! Oh, it's just you... Geez, you almost gave me a heart attack!"

i know romeo is constantly on his ass, and I relate to the feeling of being scared the people you owe money will appear out of nowhere and get you, but. . .he's so jumpy lol

Affinity 5: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Ugh, Romeo's texting me... Not gonna open that..."

Affinity 6: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"So your father runs a company, huh? Who the hell leads with that?! This is why I hate talking to Frostheimers..."

so the wording here is wonky because he's quoting a Frostheimer, but there's no visual indication that he's quoting them. But lore drop! Kaito's father runs a company! But I thought he wasn't well off. . .? Maybe his parents are separated or his father doesn't spend any of their money on him. . .or the company isn't doing well. . .or gambling addiction runs in his family lol. . . .

Affinity 7: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Argh, I want junk food! And I want to try all the new snack flavors!!"

my boy is so relateable--

Affinity 8: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"All right, time to man up and bite the bullet... Nope, absolutely not, can't do it!"

Affinity 9: (between 8pm and 5am)

"How is Jin's skin so perfect? Fucking rich kids and their stupidly expensive fancy-ass toner!!!"

kaito really looking at jin like OH NO HE'S HOT

Affinity 10: (between 10pm and midnight)

"(yawn) Guess I'll go brush my teeth..."

Affinity 11: (between 5am and 11am)

"Hey {PC}, you seem different somehow today. Did you change something? Or am I just imagining things?!"

Affinity 12: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Noooo why does Tohma want to see me...? No way it's about something good! Could you come with me, {PC}?!"

Affinity 13: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Crap, I fell asleep in class so I don't know what our homework is... Help me, {PC}!"

Affinity 14: (between 5am and 11am)

"(yawn) Man, my bed's like a freaking marshmallow. I can never get any good sleep on that thing..."

lol the Frostheim beds are too comfortable lolol I NEED A FIRMER BED TOO KAITO I GET IT.

Affinity 15: (between 5am and 11am)

"Huh? Oh, my pendant! You're always wearing it? Does that mean you've actually been paying attention to me?!"

once again the wording here is wonk because it makes it sound like the pc is always wearing Kaito's pendant. I'm pretty sure he's quoting the pc, who's commented that "you're always wearing it". It would read better as something like "You noticed I'm always wearing it?"

Affinity 16: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Hey {PC}, how 'bout we grab a bite?! I've got tons to splurge in winn... er, earnings, so it's all on me! Get whatever you want!"

your gambling addiction is really and truly going to get you in trouble. disregard that i play a gacha game.

Affinity 17: (between 10pm and midnight)

"...Huh?! Man, nearly fell sleep without putting my phone on the charger... 5%, that would've sucked tomorrow..."

Affinity 18: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Ha ha ha! Have you seen this yet?! It's all over TikTok. Ah man, it's killing me..."

Affinity 19: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Whoa, when did it get so late?! Sorry {PC}, I didn't mean to keep you up... What? You're still good?"

Affinity 20: (between 5am and 11am)

"Morning! Hey, guess what? Luca's busy after class, so how about we hit up the diner? It's been ages!"

do you. . .do you really wanna go there. . .i mean the drinks seem to be fine but according to sho they can't make good food at all. . . .

Affinity 21: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Sorry, I gotta stay after class today... (sniffle) This sucks, I really wanted to walk home with you..."

aw buddy. . .they could wait for you or come pick you up after your remedial lesson. . .!

Affinity 22: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Hey I'm really sorry but do you mind if we stop by the campus store after class? I'm almost out of granulated sugar."

Affinity 23: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Hey, do you like stars? Oh, um, I was just wondering 'cause there's this place where you can see them really well, so I thought maybe you'd want to go some time..."

he's overcoming his fears and being honest with himself and how he speaks and just. . .asking honestly, no bravado, no act. do it scared, kaito. do it scared, do it awkward, do it sure you're going to fail. as long as you do it. proud of you!

Affinity 24: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Sure is dark. Reminds me of the closet where we first met. Remember?"

Affinity 25(max): (no time constraints)

"I know I'm weak, and a coward. But I really do want to become your knight in shining armor, {PC}."

I love how comfortable and honest he starts to get as his affinity goes up. Still shy here and there, still scared, but he's not as jumpy and he starts treating you like a real friend. laughs with you about stuff, talks a little about hobbies and struggles. doesn't try and look cool for you. and then the honesty--i'm a weak coward, but i wanna be better for you. i wanna spend time with you. just!!! he grows!!! he realizes you like him for who he is and how he is, even if that's a weak coward--and that that's exactly what he wants! and it's okay for him to be that way because you won't be put off by it, even if it's something he'd like to grow from so he can be better for you--but he wants to be better for you as himself and--idk. i have feelings about characterization lol.

Spring: (March-May) (between 5am and 11am)

"(yawn) Man, I wanna sleep, but I can't fail, so I gotta show up for class... Oh! I have Professor Nicolas next! Naptime."

does that mean you're good in anomalous medicine class or. . . .

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Grr! All those girls in the hall were looking at Luca! I'm so pissed off now I'm not even sleepy anymore!"

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"It's finally warm out again, so I really want to go do something fun... Wish I could get an R&R permit..."

well maybe if you stopped sleeping in class and did good in class or went on a mission or something. . . . . .

(between 8pm and 5am)

"Mheheh... {PC}... You've got a petal in your hair... Zzz..."

Summer: (June-August) (between 5am and 11am)

"Ugh, it's too hot to go outside... But I can sense a coming-of-age event on the horizon... All right, here I come!"

obligatory beach event? 👀

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Can't believe Professor Hyde still wears that blindfold in summer. Pfft, I bet it's really sweaty under— Eeeek! S-Sir?!"

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Hey {PC}, are you free after this? I was thinking of inviting Luca to let off some fireworks! I want to show him how we do summer here in Japan."

(between 8pm and 5am)

"I can't believe I get to spend the whole summer hanging out with you {PC}... (sniffle) Homework? Uh y-yeah, I finished it already..."

Autumn: (September-November) (between 5am and 11am)

"Is it just me, or is it really cold today?! Guess I better get my coat out soon..."

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Have you had the chestnut rice from the cafeteria yet? They made it way too fancy. It's supposed to be comfort food..."

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Tohma's always reading something. Maybe I should too... All right, let's go with this! 10 Ways To Become Popular Overnight!"

well. . .it's something to read. . .never a bad idea to read.

(between 8pm and 5am)

"Apparently the moon is the most beautiful in fall since the air gets clearer. Want to go take a look?"

Winter: (December-February) (between 5am and 11am)

"It's freezing out there! It's freezing in here! Frostheim sucks!!"

this makes me wonder what the warmest dorm is on average. . .probably jabberwock as long as towa's in a good mood? (or maybe warm jabberwock winters mean towa's in a bad mood. . .?)

(between 11am and 4pm)

"The cold can go to hell, but I guess there's outfits you can only wear this time of year..."

you can wear whatever you want whenever you want if you're brave enough. but this is kaito and he's not very brave. and it's also not very smart to wear winterwear in the summer.

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"I really want to go to Starbucks for the new winter drink! But I really really don't want to go on any missions!! Guess I'll never get to try it."

(between 8pm and 5am)

"Gram... No... No more mandarins... ...Huh?! Oh, it was just a dream... I haven't had a mandarin for ages..."

'gram' in this case is 'grandma' in case you couldn't figure it out haha and the mandarin(mikan)'s used to represent health and longevity and a long prosperous bloodline or something like that for new years. So i assume his grandmother would feed him a lot of mandarins every winter lolol

His birthday: (December 11th)

"Why did Jin, Tohma, and Luca give me all this high-end stuff?! It's freaking me out!! Thank you!?!?"

EVEN JIN AND TOHMA GAVE HIM GIFTS. . .FROSTHEIM FAM IS REAL. . . .

Your birthday:

"Happy birthday, {PC}! We'll make this the best one— Hey, give those back! Those are the cue cards I made yesterday!!"

ksjfkhesbfjh he made himself cue cards to give you a birthday speech with as little stuttering as possible. . . .

New Years: (January 1st)

"Happy New Year! Let's make it a good one! S-So hey, if, er, if you'd like, c-could we, um... could we make our first shrine visit together?"

Valentine's Day: (February 14th)

"C'mon Kaito, deep breaths. Girls aren't into guys with no chill. So stay cool... Stay— Are those chocolates for me?! I'll take them to my grave!"

everyone loves an enthusiastic boy lol

White Day: (March 14th)

"Do you like the cookies I made? Come on, no way they're that good, heh heh... Heh heh heh... Here, take them all!!"

god i bet he makes really good sweets too. like i bet he puts so much love and good spirit into them lolol

April Fool's Day: (April 1st)

"I'd never lie to a girl. Ah! That's not a lie, I swear! {PC}? Are you listening?!"

BAD THING TO SAY ON APRIL FOOL'S ABORT MISSION

Halloween: (October 31st)

"Trick or treat! See those carved pumpkins? I was actually the one who made them. What do you think?"

given his DIY skills i bet he's actually really good at carving too. i bet they look really good!

Christmas: (December 25th)

"Hey, uh, {PC}, do you, uh... Do you have any plans for Christmas? I'm actually totally free!"

Idle: (about 20 seconds without interacting with the game) (below 13 affinity)

"Huh? {PC}? Am I being annoying?! I'm sorry! You're probably busy, right?!"

(13 affinity and above)

"{PC} seems kind of busy... I know! I'll find a video that'll help take her mind off things!"

this one replace the first one after you hit a certain affinity, so it's cute to see that he eventually decides 'i'm not being annoying, they're just busy. i wanna help them' after he gets closer to you. . . .

Absent: (logging in for the first time in 2 or more days?)

"Ah...! Oh my god, you're back!! I'm so happy to see you!!!!  (sob) Please don't leave me again..."

he's so clingy. . .poor guy really missed you, considering you're one of the kindest and most normal people in Darkwick that he associates with. . . . also man 'please don't leave me again' with the whole loop theory stuff. . . .

I THINK I'VE SAID MOST OF MY THOUGHTS THROUGHOUT THIS BUT. He really is a sweetie. He really could have ended up a very plain and 'safe' character, but he's managed to be very charming and entertaining with his struggles and exaggerated behavior, while still being a simple and safe type. Really looking forward to seeing how he plays into the rest of the story, since it seems like his pendant may be kind of important. . . .

[awarmbowlofhomemadesoup]

There’s some weird dissonance reading Leosagi fics first before watching Samurai Rabbit: The Usagi Chronicles. I mean it, I enjoyed the fics, truly. But some of them made Yuichi more like Miyamoto Usagi than himself (and I’m not saying it’s a bad thing). It’s just funny after finishing 2 seasons of SRTUC because:

While Miyamoto Usagi has a resting bitch face, Yuichi did NOT inherit it. Yuichi has a resting space face when he’s not getting excited about his ancestor or Yokai.

2. He wants to be like his ancestor so bad, but he’s just too wholesome.

3. A lot of people have already said this in a lot of posts, but dude is a disaster (affectionate):

Whooping and swinging his sword and yelling he doesn’t need a sensei after making a promise to his auntie that he would find one and treat the sword with respect.

Almost got run over by heavy traffic (and is not aware of it)

Pissed off every single one of his would-be friends who were ready to beat him up.

Was given a wide selection of mystical weapons, and ended up with a yoyo because he got distracted by it. 

AND went to jail. That’s just his first day in Neo Edo. 

He is not easily distracted, he's "momentarily focused" on other things ("oh look, a bird!")

Went into a self-induced drug trip after trying so hard to meditate

4. While Yuichi can be spacey and distractible, he’s already a skilled swordsman with good instincts and reflexes. What he lacked was experience and something to temper his one-track mind.

5. When the show said he’s “all ears, no brain,” they meant it. Guy keeps syrup packets in his pockets so that he’s always prepared. (for desserts, ig) 

6. “All ears, no brain,” was said within his hearing range and it just went through his head because he’s too excited about fighting yokai like his great-great-greatx grandpa.

7. Has the selfishness and self-centeredness of someone with ADHD (and I’m not saying that’s a bad thing). He can be so caught up in wanting to be a hero, he would sometimes not listen to his friends, or hog the mission for a chance to be remembered for a thousand years.  

8. He wants to be the main character so bad:

Jumped into conclusions with Gen and made a wanted person escape.

Attacks yokai on sight to live out his fantasy of being like Miyamoto Usagi

Tries to pilot a giant robot and did well for 1.5 seconds.

Risks his life more than once by making contact with a giant magic crystal that could’ve burned him alive with too much power.

He’s goddamn lucky his show is for a younger audience or he’d be traumatized along with Leo (and his bros) from rottmnt, Luz from TOH, and MK from Lego Monkie Kid. 

9. Likes one-liners because it’s like in his comics/manga of his greatx grandpa. (”Put down the pig, or I’ll put down the hurt -wait, I can do better than that.”)

10. But yeah, all of that and he’s still a polite and considerate kid who sincerely wants to help people and his friends and will do the right thing because it’s the right thing to do. 

Saves the three people who were going to beat him up.

Got delighted when the three people who were ready to beat him up were there to rescue him. (”Are we friends now? :D”)

Wants to hug them in the first hour of meeting them.

Somehow convinced one of the most terrifying yokai to be his sensei.

Would babble about yokai in the middle of fighting one.

Risks the city for an alien.

Like I know some people can’t stand its animation. It’s not the best, but it’s not bad either. Anyway, this is the Yuichi Usagi that I have known from the show and I’m glad I’ve met him. 

[ms-demeanor]

how do you factor brushing your teeth into the "letting yourself fall asleep while doing stuff" strategy?

Well let's preface this with the fact that I'm kind of a disaster:

I brush my teeth in the morning.

Sometimes I'll brush my teeth right after dinner (and I'm usually finishing dinner at like 10pm) and then I'll be up for another few hours and I just. Like. Try not to sweat it? I probably brush my teeth around 10-12 times a week, which is less than the recommended twice a day but honestly for me is a pretty significant improvement over where I was in, like, 2013. Getting to daily tooth brushing was a significant achievement that I had to start using an activity tracking app for. Washing my face daily is still a struggle. I am *not* great at being what a lot of people seem to consider "normal" or "functional" but I'm getting by and I'm getting better.

Ideally in a perfect world where brushing my teeth wasn't going to mean that I'd be awake for another three hours I'd brush my teeth right before tucking myself into bed in my PJs with the lights off.

But it *is* going to mean that so I brush my teeth and floss when it's not going to impact that and fall asleep in a bright room with my glasses and jeans on.

And TBH it's working out. I've got pretty fucky teeth anyway (double row of wisdom teeth, teeth when i was a couple weeks old, had all my adult teeth by the time I was seven, have had something like eight root canals and have a shitload of crowns) so it's hard to say if this has had an impact on my dental health (had a lot of those crowns and root canals when I was brushing and flossing twice daily because my parents made me as a kid) but since my last "i haven't been to the dentist in nine years and my damaged tooth broke in half during the first month of covid" fiasco I've been brushing every morning and flossing mostly every morning and getting in extra brushing and flossing when I can, I haven't had any further cavities or other issues past treating what nine years of neglect did (it's been 3 years of being pretty okay and they don't tell me that i need to floss more at the dentist so i consider that a success).

At one point a dentist told me that plaque buildup starts after about 24 hours of the bacteria in your mouth being undisturbed and that the 2x daily recommendation is to make sure you don't go 24 hours without shaking the little fuckers up. I don't actually know if that's accurate, but it has helped me to be more regular about brushing my teeth (look; depression and adhd is a bad combo and there were some rough years there) and also helped me to be more regular about brushing my dog's teeth.

So anyway please don't follow my example please do what your dentist tells you to do but also yeah if you're having sleep issues it may be more important for you to get sleep than to get up and brush your teeth right away. Brush in the mornings for sure, try to do it every day, use a toothpaste with fluoride and floss or use a waterpik to get below the gumline; then try to get in another brushing when you can, ideally at least one other time a day.

But you don't have to brush exactly twelve hours apart or right before you go to bed, and if you're eating and drinking after you brush your teeth but before you go to bed it isn't ideal but it also isn't a disaster.

[copperbadge]

Hi Sam! Recently diagnosed midlife ADHDer here. First, thanks for talking about your ADHD & sharing what you’re figuring out. It’s super helpful to someone on a similar trajectory.

I just saw a reference to your photo books for the first time & it seems like a great way to help with memory issues that come with ADHD (like I know I did [x thing] but when?). Could you talk a little about the process of collecting photos & such all year & then how you create one?

Thank you!

Ey, happy to have helped! Congrats and sympathies on your diagnosis. And honestly it's good for me too, talking all this out, it helps me get my thoughts in order. I often namedrop you guys to Therapist, you are "my readers" :D

The process of putting the photobooks together is...well, it's a lot, so this is going to be a super high-level overview, but basically yeah I wanted to have records of where I'd been and what I'd been doing that were more concrete than just digital photos on a hard drive or a cloud. But I didn't really want to just print the digital photos and put them in a box, either, so I started making photobooks. Usually I go through Walgreens or Shutterfly for printing, whichever has the good coupons when I'm working on it.

So, here's the weird, kind of obsessive part: a huge help in making a yearly photobook, for me, is the fact that I take my photos off my phone at the end of every month. I have some that live on the phone -- my growing collection of photos of my niece, a selection of photos from my Europe trip, some memes -- but those live in their own folders. The main camera roll gets downloaded every month, and I put them all in a file labeled with the month and year (2023-01, 2023-02, etc). It's a recurring task in my to-do list, that I offload the photos on the last Saturday of each month. You don't necessarily have to do it this way, though -- it's just what works best for me, and I encourage people to find a way to do things that will actually be functional for them.

Across the course of the year, although really moreso in October and November, I go through the photos and remove any I absolutely know I don't want to keep. Once I've done that, I save a copy of the whole year's worth of photos to my digital archive, and I take another copy and label it "FOR PHOTOBOOK" which allows me to do more culling of them than I otherwise would, because I know anything I delete is still in my archive. And this all has the advantage of me knowing that the photos in my archive are at least SOMEWHAT organized.

So I go through all the year's photos in the For Photobook file, month by month, sort them into folders by event (so there's, like, 01-Polar Vortex, or 04-Europe, or 09-Birthday) and clear out all but the photos I know I want most. My photobooks are generally longer than the default length they give you at most sites, so I usually do have to add a few pages (they're like $1/page or something) but not too many. Often these days I have some stuff that's events, like the Europe trip, and then some stuff that's just like....a folder of funny shit I saw in Chicago, or a folder of all the food I photographed that I want to save. The cats generally get their own four-page spread at the back. :D

In 2020, I will say, there were only two themes: CATS and COVID. I alternated pages.

Anyway, once I've got the photos sorted, and deleted any I don't want to include, I get on Shutterfly or Walgreens Photo and start up a new photobook project. I upload the first folder of photos, place them on the page with suitable captions, then upload the second folder of photos, etc etc, until all the photos are uploaded and placed in the book. I don't caption extensively -- often it'll just be a page that'll say like "TEXAS IN JULY!" and all the photos from that trip. But it definitely does help me keep track of what I was up to. And it's kind of soothing to review the year and see all the stuff I accomplished.

So that's the bare bones -- by all means feel free to ask questions, although if you guys wouldn't mind asking in comments or reblogs if possible, that should keep the discussion contained as necessary. :)

[radplaidtacofan]

Idk if anyone will see this or care but this is my coming out post

I'm 33 and I think I'm finally done pretending I'm something I'm not. I've known since I can first remember that I was a guy. My first memories are of running around shirtless, being told I would have to cover up soon and not understanding why. I wondered why I didn't have a dick. I always wanted to prove how strong I was, how fast I was, how high I could climb, etc. I remember when I first learned about puberty and I was 100% certain that, when the time came, I could pick which one I'd be and I knew I'd pick male. I couldn't wait to start growing a beard and look like Riker.

The dysphoria has always been really fucking bad. The autism, ADHD and OCD made me miserable already but dysphoria made me so badly depressed by the time I was 10 I was constantly thinking about ... well, let's just say that I never thought I would see 33.

I found out being trans was A Thing and started binding, begging my parents and doctors to let me start hormones, etc. I had a really shitty person at CAMH tell me that I didn't meet the criteria? Lmao. He's probably retired now and I hope he's miserable tbh.

I did eventually take T in my early 20s for about a year, then I had a breakdown thinking I was making a huge mistake... because I didn't think I'd ever be happy. I feel wrong down to my fucking DNA. Even now I'm fighting with myself because I feel terrible that I can never be a cis man and it just... it kills me.

So yeah, I decided to chug copium for years thinking that if I tried really really hard I could accept being female and be Okay.

Hahahaha. Ha.

The funny thing is, even when I was chugging copium I was still thinking things like, "If someone had a magic wand and could make me a cis male I'd say yes without hesitation," or, "I wish Star Trek was real cause they could fix me easily," or even, "Wearing a dress is drag."

I still felt like I was being weird by looking at bras, panties and swimsuits. (Not that there's anything wrong with that if you're into drag! And I'd fight anyone who tries to make trans women feel bad. It's just, personally, it doesn't feel Right for me.) I assumed people saw me as a man. I really played up being girly. I'd be giggling and acting flirty and barf. But I thought I was being very Gender and convincing people! And that's what I was trying to do: convince people. People who didn't need convincing because they saw me as a woman. It was just me who didn't.

Fun fact: I quote this all the time and people keep looking at me weird.

Anyway, I've been in a bit of a mental breakdown over the past few days because my brain finally said, "You know what? Fuck this and fuck you. You know what you are, goddamn idiot bastard man." So now I'm trying to be less of a goddamn idiot bastard man and continue the process I started when I was like... 3. I'm gonna make little me so fucking proud when I grow that beard (god I hope I can grow a beard) and get this weight off my chest.

I haven't figured out what name to go by yet because I've been through several since I told my parents I hated my name when I was like 10 and none of them fit. But I am a man and I am starting the process of making that obvious to everyone around me.

I already know some people are gonna be challenging but fuck it, we ball!

[tommyssupercoolblog]

Hey as a disabled person you're "disability is miserable all the time and disabled lives aren't worth living and every day is a nightmare" narrative is still ableist, still harmful, and still disgusting even if you are also a disabled person!!! If I see you in the disability tags ranting about how you hate people talking about disabilities as if they aren't the worst possible thing to ever happen to a person because YOU hate yourself I'm going to lose my shit!!!! You have internalized ableism :D and need to work through that :D !!! And I don't want to see you preaching about how I'm either faking or delusional because I should be depressed and self-hating and miserable every goddamn day like you are!!!!

This is what gets disabled people killed!!! This is what gets people literally murdered by doctors because the doctor decided that life with an intellectual disability or in a wheelchair or whatever isn't worth living and they should just die!!! This is something disability rights advocates are continually fighting against!!! Yes being disabled is challenging but you can love it anyway, you can love yourself anyway, and love your LIFE anyway, and a life with challenges or struggles isn't inherently worse because your worth and the worth of your life is not tied to what you can and cannot do!!!!! Being autistic DOES block off a lot of things but that doesn't mean my life is horrible and endless suffering because guess what?? I can find happiness and fulfillment in things that ARE available to me, and I also don't have to mope about what I can't do because not being able to do things isn't a curse or something that deteriorates my worth!!!!

You don't speak for other disabled people when you whine and complain about how people shouldn't be posting positively about disabilities!!!! And in fact!!!! Seeing your posts makes me angry and hurt and upset!!!!!

Being in chronic pain is painful and pain sucks, but that doesn't mean you can't still love yourself and who you are INCLUDING that. Having ADHD and struggling to eat can suck but that doesn't mean you can't see it as a part of you and still love yourself even though it makes things hard.

"I would give anything not to be disabled" cool well even when I am crying and throwing up and having panic attacks, I wouldn't change being disabled. Because yeah it has downsides, that's why it's a disability. But it's still a part of me. It's still a part of who I am, and it's still an experience worth having and a life worth living, and I don't want to change it. It's mine. I am not a goddamn tragedy, I am a person, and I resent being treated like my pain makes me some sob story. if you would be abled at the press of a button then good for you, but don't go preaching from the rooftops about how all disabled people feel that way and it means you can't make positivity posts for disorders or disabilities or make quirky memes about it. Your problem is not my fucking problem.

"stop making this disorder quirky and cute" I can do whatever I want with my own fucking conditions thank you very much, and so can other people with theirs. As long as no one is being ableist or using definitions wrong (ex; that dumbass delulu trend) then they should be allowed to make relatable jokes about being a cane user or being mute or having schizophrenia, don't tell other disabled people how to talk about and think about their own disabilities. Like, I like being a system. I like having AuADHD, I like making silly jokes about how I can't eat anywhere because of how nightshades react to our autoimmune disorder, I like how our dogs lick our legs all the time because they can smell when it's acing up, I like calling gluten and wheat "poison" jokingly. Don't tell me to hate it because you hate it, just leave me the fuck alone.

[nitewrighter]

I realize I'm saying "Step outside your reading comfort zone, step outside your reading comfort zone" over and over again and people might actually be interested in doing that, but might not know where to start, or really where their 'reading comfort zone' ends. Well, the good news is, there's a lot of "book bingos" and other reading challenges on library websites and blogs all over the place that have plenty of prompts for books it might not occur to you to read--I'd say like exercise though, you obviously don't want to immediately force yourself to read something you know is going to make you miserable.

Like if you say, "Well I've never read a biography before, so I grabbed this giant fucking brick on President Warren G. Harding, but it was boring and it sucked. Oh well, I tried. Back to fanfiction." Like, come on, there's no way in hell you were engaging in good faith there. There really is a lot of accessible nonfiction out there, if you're willing to look, and also don't be afraid to ask your local librarian for help. Also even if you're a grown-ass adult, please don't feel ashamed about reading non-fiction adapted for younger readers to ease yourself into it. Podcasts and media communities can also help steer you to nonfiction subjects so that you're springboarding from something you know you're interested in, to something you wouldn't usually read--I got steered to "Frozen In Time: The Fate of the Franklin Expedition" and have added Jean Genet to my To-Read list because of the Terror fandom.

Also short story collections and essay collections are your friends!! You don't have to complete those cover to cover! You can bounce around as you need and it's still different enough content and style for your brain to form new neural pathways! You can give your brain tiger a pumpkin full of meat for enrichment while still being ADHD as hell!

Stepping outside of fictional genre comfort zones can also be a trickier bird, but there are ways to go about it! If you're interested in tackling a classic, there are a lot of substacks which can often come with their own respective communities to help keep you motivated through the drier parts. Like, yeah those communities might not be as big of a phenomenon as Dracula Daily, but it really does help to have buddies to discuss the book as you go along. Like, yeah I'm currently behind in my reading of Moby Dick, but I'm still motivated to keep going because I want to catch up with the rest of the Whale Weekly crowd. There are also a lot of book list communities that group books by their respective tropes and structures and can allow you to ease yourself to new subject matter. Don't be embarrassed to make "short reads/quick reads" a search criteria when browsing books, as well.

Anyways, what I'm saying is, going outside of your reading comfort zone doesn't mean immediately throwing yourself in the deep end, it can be as simple as engaging with an interest you already know you have, in a text format you wouldn't usually work with. Or vice versa!!