#(literal Goldfish Brain Curse) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sevlgi · 4 years ago

Text

how it feels

requested: no

group: stray kids

pairing: hyunjin x gn!reader

genre: fluff, slight angst

contents: high school!au but there’s not much school involved, best friend!hyunjin, mutual pining, hyunjin’s a hopeless romantic

warnings: none

synopsis: comforting your best friend after a breakup usually doesn’t involve making him fall in love with you, but both of you just want to know what it feels like.

a/n: yes hello please enjoy this fic that i’m randomly dropping in the middle of my hiatus 🙃 i’ll hopefully be able to write a gg fic of some kind for y’all soon! the ending of this is so fucking lazy, sorry

word count: 5.3k

“Why, Y/N? Can’t she just tell me why?”

“I know,” you comfort, rubbing your best friend’s back as he sniffles with his knees up to his chest. It’s hard to see him in the darkness that’s brought by the blanket resting over the both of you like a tent, but in the glow of Hyunjin’s phone, you can see the tear tracks on his face. “I’m sorry, Jinnie.”

He pouts and scrubs yet another tear off his cheek, lamenting, “Why can’t I never fall in love with someone who loves me back? We’re only in high school, it shouldn’t be this complicated.”

Dabbing at his face with a tissue, you sigh, “I guess you have bad luck. Or bad judgement, could be both. There are plenty of people who are dying to love and appreciate you, you know, you’re the one who never spares them a glance.”

Hyunjin shakes his head. “No, those people only think I’m the long-haired guy from the dance team. They would treat me the same,” he frowns tearily. “I just want someone who likes me first.”

It always goes this way for him, you know-- you’ve seen it too many times, the stages of your best friend falling in love with someone who leads him on, enjoys his company for a while before dumping him and his expectations in the dirt. Maybe it’s the undeniable pressure to be the perfect partner that Hyunjin wants more than anything, or maybe he just always ends up liking assholes. But either way, it’s carnage for Hyunjin’s heart, and he never gets used to it no matter how many times it happens.

He’s too sensitive and warm-hearted for his own good, so all he can do after the latest breakup is cry into his favorite pillow on a Tuesday night. If you weren’t so willing to immediately come to comfort him, Hyunjin would’ve been doing it alone, too, and he would’ve cried for far longer than he has.

“Who do I go to prom with now?” he questions sadly, breaking you from your recollections about the many times you’ve done this before.

Unfortunately, all his question does is make you laugh. “It’s a serious question!” Hyunjin protests, scowling at you.

“Okay, I’m sorry,” you say, still chuckling. “I mean, would it be so bad to go to prom with a friend? I’m sure Yeji- wait never mind, not Yeji… I’m sure someone would go with you for appearances’s sake. Or if you don’t mind, just ask Lix, he’s too nice to say no even if he wanted.”

“That doesn’t make me feel better,” he says, flopping back onto his bed. The clock by his bedside reads 2:33 am, and you can already feel your physics final cursing you. “I want to go with someone I feel something for, you know? It’s our prom, Y/N, I want to feel the prom-ness of promposals and picking out outfits and all that with someone I love.”

You shake your head and push his knee lightly. “Unfortunately, most people our age haven’t even been in love yet, so I doubt many people can help you feel it. But you know what I’m feeling right now?”

“Please don’t say pancakes,” Hyunjin groans, “I’m not waking my parents up to teach us how to use the stove again.”

Throwing a pillow at him, you roll your eyes, “I feel tired, dumbass. And we have finals tomorrow, so how about we invite our friends out to get boba afterwards so we can find you a prom date? You can complain all you like about how the three weeks before prom happens are too short to fall in love, yadda yadda.”

“Fine. But don’t mock me, my many feelings are perfectly valid,” your best friend warns you, and rolls over to turn the light off.

Seungmin frowns when Hyunjin finally shows up at the entrance of the school’s closest boba shop, looking slightly disheveled from dance practice. “Finally. You’re annoying, and late.”

“Jeongin’s later,” Hyunjin objects, plopping down in the spot next to you and accepting the drink you hold out to him. The amount of mango yogurt with boba he drinks is definitely unhealthy (and expensive), but he’ll only groan more about his breakup if you didn’t get it for him. “Why do you literally never complain about him?”

“Jeongin’s cute, and you aren’t.”

The long-haired boy scoffs and sips at his drink sulkily as Felix returns with his own order. “Oh, hey, Hyunjin. I didn’t see you arrive,” Felix smiles sunnily. “Jisung’s not coming today, by the way. Something about having to stay for detention.”

You raise your eyebrows at that new piece of information. “Really? For what?”

“Playing a song entitled ‘Fuck You Bitch’ in Bio, I believe.”

Seungmin snorts in laughter, sighing fondly, “Sounds like him. Anyway, I heard we’re here to solve the problem of Hwang Hyunjin’s prom date. Or… lack thereof?”

“You’re so mean,” your best friend groans.

Ignoring him, you clasp your hands on the table and lean in conspiratorially. ��I doubt any of you haven’t heard at this point, but he got dumped, for lack of a better word, and now, like the rest of us, Hyunjin has no prom date. But unlike us, he actually still wants one.”

“I’ll go with you,” Felix offers, still chewing on the straw in his mouth.

You elbow Hyunjin, who pushes you back before responding. “Thank you, Lixie, but like I explained to Y/N, I want to go with someone I’m in love with. I want to know how it feels, you know?”

“I don’t know,” Seungmin deadpans. At Hyunjin’s crestfallen expression, though, he says, “I mean, we can definitely try, but I feel like the rest of the people left in this school are either too young or not your type. And is 3 weeks really enough for you to be ‘in love again’?”

“Knowing me, maybe…? But I think I’d need to know the person already,” your best friend pouts.

Jeongin arrives then, conveniently missing most of the conversation before he squishes in on the end of the booth. “Well, you better not try to fall in love with me,” the youngest grins.

“I’d never pick you,” Hyunjin jabs back. “But out of the people I do know…”

“I volunteer,” you joke.

Your friends snicker, thankfully, but the boy sitting right next to you turns with a thoughtful expression on his face. “Actually…”

“I don’t like that expression,” Jeongin narrows his eyes.

“I think I could fall in love with Y/N in 3 weeks,” Hyunjin says nonchalantly, as if it’s nothing. He completely ignores all the shocked expressions around him.

In truth, as easy as Hyunjin falls in love, he’s also incredibly easy to fall for. You’d never admit it to him, but you have loved him before, with the kind of burning passion that he somehow has with every one of his relationships.

You’re over it, and you have been for a long time, but him saying that maybe he could love you so very easily makes it all come back up to the surface. “For real?” Felix questions.

“I mean, I don’t like you yet--” your heart falls (stupidly)-- “but I think I could.”

“So… what do you want me to do?” you ask.

Hyunjin smiles, so pure and beautiful that you wonder how his girlfriend just left him, and says, “I want you to help me figure out how it feels to really be in love.” He scrambles to interrupt Seungmin, whose mouth is opening. “It’s just three weeks before prom. We’ll just feel happy together, none of the other shit--”

“You are so cheesy,” Jeongin interjects. “And I think you’ve watched too many dramas. Did you pause to think how Y/N feels about your plan?”

You appreciate your younger friend’s considerateness, but the guilty expression on Hyunjin’s face prompts you to say, “I mean, I don’t think I could like you like that, so… sure. I’ll help you.”

“Really?” All three of your friends ask as they turn to you.

“Yeah,” you shrug. “What, you fall in love with me in three weeks for prom, I don’t reciprocate, but we move on as friends? I think it’ll be fine.”

“It never works like that though,” Seungmin doubts. He isn’t as cynical as he seems, but in the presence of overly-optimistic Felix and Hyunjin, he and Jeongin always end up as the voice of reason. Usually, you’re with them, but this time, you’re the one enabling the idiocy of the new plan.

Hyunjin grins, “Then we’ll make it work like that.”

With the amount of time that passes before Hyunjin mentions his plot again, you almost forget about it. The first week is normal in a way that makes you nervous-- you hang out like normal, doing homework in the library with your friends as Minho harrasses Chan, eating lunch wherever you can find a spot. There isn’t really time to be alone, just the two of you, and you aren’t sure how Hyunjin is supposed to ‘fall in love’ with you if it’s just normal.

Of course, it doesn’t last long.

It takes a while for it to set in that when Hyunjin asks you to go watch a drive-through movie with him, it isn’t just so he can show off his brand-new car. It’s a date, and it’s stated painfully clearly in his text from the night before.

However, you don’t realize it until you’re literally getting into his car in front of your house.

“Wait. This is a date, isn’t it?”

Hyunjin chuckles nervously, looking over at you in the passenger seat, and you notice for the first time that he’s put on a bit of makeup, and his car doesn’t smell like Jisung’s hot cheetos for once. “I mean, yeah. I meant it when I said I wanted you to help, and I thought you did too? It doesn’t have to be one if you’re backing out, though, it’s totally fine.”

“I’m not backing out,” you shake your head. You really aren’t-- so far, nothing has happened that would make you want to back out yet, and no freshman-year feelings for your best friend have resurfaced just yet. “I just forgot. You know me.”

“Yeah, I know your goldfish brain,” Hyunjin teases, setting the car in motion. There’s lo-fi playing, and he’s a good driver, so you relax. “You forget everything.”

“I do not! You’re the one who has to be reminded of everyone’s birthday but mine,” you protest. If he wasn’t driving, you would shove him, and you remind him of that, to his dismay.

Hyunjin hums as soon as the two of you fall into comfortable silence, your foot tapping lightly to the music, and with the sun setting on the distant horizon, it’s so familiar. You try to interrupt the peace anyway. “So, what movie are we seeing?”

“10 Reasons I Hate You,” he answers. “It’s a classic, and you haven’t seen it.”

“And you love romcoms,” you finish.

He doesn’t protest, only sending you a small smile. You’re pulling into the theater already anyway, in one of the better rows to watch the movie as Hyunjin turns his radio on and starts fiddling with it. “There’s snacks in the backseat,” he offers, to no surprise.

They’re some of your favorites, though there are also the chips that he can’t live without. There’s a blanket, which drapes awkwardly over the cupholder between the two of you, and a bottle of juice that you place in his lap immediately. “You like watermelon juice more than I do.”

“Thanks,” he says quietly, almost surprised.

You scowl and poke him, allowed to now that you’re safely parked and waiting for the movie to begin. “Don’t act all shocked, we’ve been friends since orientation and I’ve spent more than half my paychecks getting this damn juice for you.”

“Mean,” Hyunjin protests, but he hands you your favorite soda from under his seat anyway. “And shut up, it’s starting.”

He seems to know the intro to the movie, smiling when the first line of dialogue sounds, all crackly over the shitty radio, and you eventually stop staring at him to watch the movie instead. Of course, you can’t keep yourself from asking, “Why do you like romcoms so much, anyway? You’ve never explained to me, for all the ones I’ve watched with you.”

“I like happy endings, I think,” the long-haired boy responds after a short pause to think. “Not to be dramatic, but I haven’t had one yet, so maybe watching other people being happy makes me happier too.”

You nod, taking it as a perfectly acceptable answer. Knowing how sentimental your best friend is, it’s nowhere near a stretch, either, being something that just fits with his personality.

He talks occasionally to tell you a little tidbit that he knows: by the end, you’ve learned about how it’s a modern adaptation of a rather misogynistic Shakespeare play, how the entire movie was shot without sets, and how the scene of Kat reading the poem was the first take. It’s interesting, of course, but you’re more captured by the way Hyunjin’s smile glints in the weak light filtered through the car windows.

The sky is dark when the credits roll and Hyunjin reaches for the steering wheel, almost too dark for you to see anything outside when you’re driving back to your house.

“So? How was it?”

“How was what?” you ask, moving your hands around vaguely. “The snacks? The movie? The date?”

“All of the above?” Hyunjin says hesitantly.

You answer immediately, “It was perfect. You knew that, though.”

“I didn’t really. I mean, I’ve never taken you on a date,” he muses. “And plenty of the people I’ve dated before weren’t even willing to watch a rom-com with me.”

“Then that’s their problem,” you say. “Anyone who isn’t willing to watch a rom-com with you is just an asshole, and I stand by that.”

Hyunjin smiles sweetly. You’re parked by the curb in front of your house at this point, so it’s slightly more easy to see the silhouette of your friend’s face. “That’s nice of you. I dunno though, I wouldn’t want to label everyone who doesn’t like romcoms as an asshole.”

“That’s not what I mean.” You shift a little bit to face him, pausing before you explain, “I think that if someone is so unwilling to try something that means so much to the person they like, then they don’t really like them.”

“I guess. You know, there’s another reason why I like romcoms so much.”

You don’t speak, waiting for Hyunjin to explain. And he does. “I think romcoms give me hope,” he nods. “Like�� they make me think that anything’s possible, not just happy endings. Maybe the person who I don’t even have a chance with secretly likes me back, you know?”

“I can’t really imagine someone who wouldn’t like you if you liked them, but I think I get it,” you smile.

“At least you try. See you at school next week?”

“Come on, we both know that Binnie’s dragging all of us out to beat Chan’s ass at bowling,” you sigh, taking it as a sign to open your car door.

Before you make it completely outside, though, Hyunjin’s hand rests on your wrist. “Y/N, thanks for tonight.”

“Anytime,” you respond breathlessly, closing the door a little louder than you probably should.

You do mean it.

“Remind me again why we have to go prom outfit shopping together?”

Hyunjin pouts, peering in the window of yet another shop. His arm rests gently on your shoulder despite the way you jokingly pushed it off at the beginning of the day, but you really don’t mind. “Isn’t it cute to have matching prom outfits? We should be color-coordinated in some way.”

“I mean, sure… but isn’t online shopping just easier?” you ask, raising your eyebrow. “It’s the 21st century, Jin.”

“You’re so unromantic,” he groans, and finally pushes the door open to a thrift store to lead you inside.

You wrinkle your nose at the heavy smell of perfume that hits you as soon as you step inside. “And you watch too many movies. You’ve known me for almost four years, you aren’t going to have some magical moment where you realize you like me just because I put on a sparkly outfit of some kind.”

“Who knows? Maybe you’ll suddenly think that you love me when you see me in a tux,” Hyunjin grins.

You don’t respond to that, and he doesn’t push it, taking it as just another joke of his. Of course he doesn’t know about freshman year, and he definitely doesn’t know about how you still aren’t sure if that crush ever subsided. He shouldn’t know.

He’s too picky to pick something at the first store, you know, so you just follow him around as he flicks through things that are either too fitted or too loose, too patterned or too plain.

It takes three stores for him to finally something that he likes, and he appears from the dressing room with a gorgeous grin on his face. “What do you think?”

“It’s… good. I mean, you look good,” you clarify. Of course Hyunjin looks perfect in anything, but the dark navy jacket over the patterned button-down he was already wearing just seem like they were a combo meant for him.

He isn’t satisfied with your response, towering over you as you slump lower in the chair. “Just good?”

“Hot. Stunning, beautiful, sexy-- is that what you want to hear?” you respond sarcastically.

“That’s exactly it!”

Rolling your eyes, you pick up your things from the chair and say, “Then we’re done? Are you picking this one?”

“Yeah, but what about you?” Hyunjin asks. “Do you already have something, or are we going to get something? I’m still waiting for my kdrama moment, you know.”

You definitely don’t have something at home, but you don’t think you could bear being on the receiving end of the drama moment that your best friend so desperately wants. Something about having him suggest something for you to wear, reacting as dramatically as you know he will, just won’t allow your old feelings for him to sit still.

“I’m good. Let’s check out, and get some ice cream?” you offer to placate him.

Hyunjin grins and offers his arm to you again, practically skipping to the checkout. “Sounds perfect to me.”

“Y/N, what the hell do I wear on a date?”

“How should I know?” You sound listless, flicking through one of the mangas that one of Changbin’s friends left as his house.

“You literally went on a date with your freshman year crush last week and then picked a prom outfit with him,” your friend scowls, tossing a shirt at your face. It’s clean, thankfully, but you still chuck it back at him.

“In my defense, I forgot that it was a date,” you respond, “and shut up about the ‘freshman year crush’ thing. I never would’ve told you if I knew you would use it against me like this.”

Changbin throws yet another piece of clothing in your direction, narrowly missing your face, and you raise a pillow to threaten him with. “You got me into this mess with Felix in the first place, so I think it’s even.”

“It’s not a mess if it’s what you asked me to do,” you complain, “and besides, you wouldn’t stop talking about this date for the past week despite it literally just being something we do together all the time.”

“I like Felix, I don’t like you.”

“Then I’m leaving you to agonize over your collection of colorful track pants on your own,” you warn, and he subsequently shuts up. “There we go. Don’t wear one of those, by the way, even though Felix wouldn’t say a single thing about it.”

“How was the date, by the way? And the three-year-old feelings?” Changbin asks as he continues to dig in his closet.

You hesitate. “It was… nice? Hyunjin knows way too much about Julia Stiles, but he was super enthusiastic and the movie was pretty good. He got the good snacks, too.”

“You know that’s not what I meant,” he sighs.

“Then what did you mean, Mr. ‘I Love Lee Felix With My Whole Tiny Brain’?” you challenge.

Changbin doesn’t take the bait, unfortunately. “Jeongin told me about the whole plot you and Hyunjin have going on. Are you really dumb enough to think that you can get him to love you without falling for him again, and then leave him after it?”

There’s no way to respond to his question without making a complete fool out of yourself, and so, you simply don’t. Apparently in one of his more coherent moods, Changbin continues on, “I’d say that you watched too many movies, but I’ve seen you avoid Hyunjin’s movie nights. What the hell is going on with you?”

“I mean, have you seen the way he looks when he wants something?” you answer unintentionally. “Obviously you weren’t with us at the at the boba shop, but I’m serious. I couldn’t say no to him, especially when he’s heartbroken.”

“What does he look like?” Changbin asks.

You sigh, “He… his eyes get kind of shiny, almost like he’se about to cry but not really like that. And I don’t really know, he just looks like he’d be sad if you said no but wouldn’t talk about it, and that’s the part that makes you want to say ‘yes’.”

“It sounds to me like your three-year-long crush is still here, then,” your friend replies. “Because I have never felt that way about Hyunjin before, but I know what expression you’re talking about.”

Staring at him like he’s grown two heads, you realize that he’s wearing a jean jacket that shouldn’t have taken so much time to pick out. “That’s a stupid conclusion.”

Changbin shrugs and picks his phone up on his way out. “You can think about it as stupid if you want, but I’m usually not wrong about this. I’m going now, do you want a ride or something? You can stay here as long as you want, though.”

“I’ll walk home, it’s still noon,” you answer. You need to think, anyway.

He walks to the kitchen for a drink of water, he claims, but he picks up his phone on the way there, presumably to talk to Felix like the lovey-dovey fool he is. You wrinkle your noise and wander in the hallway, fully intending to bully Changbin about his crush as long as possible.

But his low voice, echoing from the kitchen, definitely doesn’t sound like flirting. When Changbin strides out, on a mission, it’s obvious that something is wrong. “We have to go,” he says. “Jeongin and Hyunjin got in an accident.”

Fear bubbles in your throat, and you yank the front door open harder than you could’ve thought possible. “What? How? When? Is it just the two of them? Are they okay?”

“Minho says that he doesn’t know yet, he’s driving there too. They aren’t calling the police, they’re apparently fine enough to get us,” Changbin says as he backs out of the driveway. “But we better get there as soon as we can.”

“Then drive,” you exhale sharply, slamming your seatbelt on as if it’ll stop your heart from beating out of your chest.

You leap out of the passenger’s side before the car even stops moving, finding Minho and Chan’s cars both parked at the side of the road behind the silver one that you remember to be Jeongin’s parents’. There’s a huddle of people there, Seungmin and Jisung parting so that you can make your way to the center.

To your relief, both your friends are okay; Hyunjin’s sitting on the trunk of the car, massaging his legs, and Jeongin’s definitely wincing a bit too much when he moves his neck. The car is dented, but not to the point of no repair.

Still, anger clouds your vision.

“What the hell’s wrong with the both of you?” you almost shout. “And what the fuck happened?”

Hyunjin starts, “Y/N, calm down. I was trying to teach Jeongin to drive, and we went a little off course--”

“Teaching him to drive, on the damn highway?” you question furiously. “You barely got your license three months ago, I get that you’re a good driver, but you aren’t a good enough driver for this! Whose idea was this?”

Jeongin timidly raises a hand, but Felix stops you from saying anything more. “Let’s all calm down, okay? Y/N, our friends are fine,” he says, low voice barely audible over the wind whipping around. “Everyone’s alive, which is the most important part here, and we can fix the car, which isn’t all that important. Let’s just focus on getting someone here to help, okay?”

“I’ve called my uncle to come and tow the car, we’re just going to get Hyunjin and Jeongin to the hospital, okay?” Seungmin reassures you. “Changbin’s car is too small, and you’re the better driver, so you and Hyunjin take it. Jeongin will come in Minho’s car with me, and we’ll meet you there.”

You nod stiffly and get into the driver’s seat first, pretending like you don’t notice how Chan pulls Hyunjin back to talk with him.

You shouldn’t have gotten angry; it doesn’t make sense to be angry at all. You should’ve been scared, worried, anything but angry, and so, you can only try to calm your breathing by the time Hyunjin sits next to you and Chan’s car sets off.

“Why are you so mad?” he asks quietly.

It’s the wrong thing to say; you turn your head to him, incredulous. “Why am I mad? You could have died, both of you could have died!”

“And? How many things have we all done together that could’ve ended with us in a ditch?” Hyunjin raises an eyebrow. “Hell, you were the one who decided that it would be fun to jump from the roof into Seungmin’s pool last summer, what’s changed? I get it, it was stupid, but you’ve never been so mad about something like this before.”

You exhale, tapping your fingers on Changbin’s steering wheel as you follow your friends’ cars. “To be honest, I don’t know.”

“Okay.”

It’s completely silent after that, at least until you reach the emergency room.

Jeongin and Hyunjin are fine, thankfully; the youngest has twisted a muscle in his neck, but it’s nothing that can’t heal on its own, and Hyunjin’s knees are merely bruised. Jisung’s the one who tells you, the older two of your friend group apparently dealing with the parents of the injured.

“Are you okay, Y/N?” he asks, patting your arm. “You reacted a little… adversely earlier. Did you and Hyunjin have a fight?”

“Why is it always about me and Hyunjin?” you ask with narrowed eyes. “Can’t I be mad because they almost got themselves killed?”

Jisung raises an eyebrow. “You never get mad when we almost get ourselves killed, that’s Chan’s job. And you were basically yelling straight at Hyunjin, I’ve never seen the guy so scared.”

You exhale and sit back in the creaky hospital chair. You wish you could tell Jisung if there was something wrong, but you honestly don’t know what it is. “I don’t know. Do you think there’s something wrong with me?”

“You tell me, dude,” Jisung chuckles. “I think you should think about it. I mean, there’s barely two weeks until prom now, you barely have time to back out anymore.”

“Why would I back out?” you stare at him.

He pushes you to stand, and only says, “Think about it yourself. Okay?”

You don’t tap out, but only because you don’t get Hyunjin alone enough to do so.

After your little yelling fest at him, he obviously doesn’t want to just talk to you, despite how you publicly apologize to both him and Jeongin. You don’t sit together during movie night, you sit at opposite corners of your study table in the library.

Until Felix’s parents invite all of you over to take prom pictures, all you get is a stilted silence.

“You look nice,” he mumbles when the two of you get ushered together in a pair. Except for Felix and Changbin, all the others are by themselves, and you wonder why Hyunjin was so hellbent to get himself a prom date when almost everyone else didn’t bother.

He himself looks absolutely perfect, his hair styled to perfection and a slight pink glittering on his lips. The suit that you picked out together is paired with a patterned shirt that you’ve never seen before, and it perfectly matches your own hastily-purchased outfit. Hyunjin offers a flower to you, color-coordinated, and you hold it in one hand with the other on his arm. “Thanks. You too.”

“Okay, smile, everyone!” Felix’s mom grins behind the camera. “Couples, stand closer together a little bit!”

With a (rather convenient) nudge from Minho, Hyunjin’s hand slips onto your waist, and heat rises to the tops of your ears. Felix’s mother is pleased, though, and the photos carry on with the occasional hoots of laughter when Jisung smacks a kiss onto Seungmin’s cheek and gets clocked as a result.

Conversation is never stilted when you’re with your friends, so despite the silence between Hyunjin and you, there’s no awkwardness during the ride there. Silence only falls when it’s just the two of you standing together in the corner of the venue, all the others off to dance or raid the buffet table.

You decide to speak first. “Are you pissed at me for yelling at you? Because I said I was sorry, and I am.”

“I’m not pissed at you,” Hyunjin shakes his head.

“Well, you’re sure acting like it,” you snap. With a sigh, you end up apologizing again, “Sorry. I just… I know that the plot was mostly a joke, just to take your mind off of the heartbreak and stuff. I kind of messed it up.”

“You messed it up?” He stares at you.

“Well, yeah… I yelled at you, didn’t I?”

Hyunjin sighs, almost like he expected a different answer. “No, that didn’t mess anything up. I mean, I got what I wanted, anyway.”

“And what was that?”

“I fell in love with you.”

It’s your turn to watch him, completely shellshocked. The sparkling, multicolored lights of the venue bounce off him like an otherworldly glow, and his eyes sparkle even though he’s avoiding your gaze. Maybe all the people falling at his feet, you included, are onto something. “I mean, it’s not exactly what I wanted,” he blabbers. “I wanted to be in love without it hurting, and obviously that failed, but… I should’ve known that it wouldn’t even take three weeks for me to love you.”

“Hyunjin.”

Your best friend still doesn’t look up, so you just ask softly, “Why does it hurt?”

“You don’t like me back, of course it hurts,” Hyunjin frowns.

“Who said I didn’t like you back?”

He’s quiet, eyes flicking up to you like he thinks it’s Jisung pranking him or something. “Do you mean it?”

“We’re stupid, Hyunjin,” you laugh. “We’re so, so stupid. I had a crush on you since we met, for two whole-ass years.”

“Well, I liked you for almost four, so I think I beat you there,” he says. But there’s a relieved smile on his face, his eyes curving prettily as he reaches for your hand. “Then… do you want to dance?”

“No romcom shenanigans,” you warn, but you allow yourself to be tugged out to the dance floor next to your friends with a smile.

Hyunjin’s grin as you twirl him around under the burning neon lights suddenly makes it seem like everything will just... magically be okay. If you had just been a little more courageous (or a little less stupid), maybe you could’ve seen it earlier.

But good things come with time and patience. And with all the patience you’ve had, waiting for this to happen, the way you finally feel with him makes it all worth it.

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sexbob-ombbeck · 3 years ago

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Things in my fanfic I feel like oversharing cause I have a compulsive need to:

I originally had a whole side story planned on how Rin, Kohaku and Hisui became vampires but I decided to scrap it. Partly because I love this characterization of Rin that I have and the idea of writing out her traumatic experience isn’t something I want to do. That would be just a big chunk of trauma porn and I don’t want to make readers uncomfortable (or myself).

There will be backstory to their turnings though. It will be explained.

Towa and Setsuna are still SessKagu twins and do have human nights. But their ears are pointed cause they would look cooler cause I said so.

Confirmed couples for this fic are as followed: established InuKag, SessKagu, MirSan (slight, but it’s potent to the story) and RikuRin {I will explain}

Kohaku does have a love interest but he’s currently healing from his relationship with Shiori and his LI is respectful.

Hisui is the oldest of the four kiddos, the absolute mom friend and his only weakness is when Moroha gives him puppy eyes. He can’t say no to them. He has tried and failed.

Moroha is second oldest cause she was born about a year after Sango’s disappearance.

The Tuna twins were born months later, and Setsuna hates that she’s the literal baby of the group.

All four of them are 18-19 in physical appearance and also mentally. They may be close to 500 years old but they’re all college aged with a bit more brain cells.

On that note, Towa is the only one of them to have actively gotten her college education. She studies in the States. She dragged Hisui along her second semester there and the two attend Duke University at the start of the fic.

Moroha is taking college courses online but she also has shrine maiden duties since she helps her great-grandpa and grandma run the Higurashi shrine.

Setsuna doesn’t give a shit. It keeps her from spending time with Kohaku (who is her uncle, mentor and second father figure)

Rin thinks it’s cute.

On the topic of the slightly older kiddos.

Because Sango literally was only 22 when she disappeared, I played around with idea I’d having Kohaku be physically older than her.

So he’s 26 while Rin is 23, the same age as KinGyo. Riku is physically 25

On the subject of Rin and Riku being a romantic item, they were originally going to be friends to budding lovers to enemies who hate fuck while mutually pining for each other but I did not feel up for writing that dynamic. Too toxic and irritable.

Instead, Rin is the personification of ‘looks like a cinnamon, can kill you’. A big inspiration for her characterization is Yor from Spy x Family. But she takes strongly after her mama Kagura and won’t hesitate to curse someone out.

Riku and Rin were friends before anything. Their friendship is what lead to her being kidnapped and cursed by Zero. I’m still working out those kinks on how it caused vampirism.

Riku defected to Sesshomaru’s side after Rin was cursed. They didn’t start a relationship until years down the line.

Towa still has the silver pearl in her eye, Setsuna still has her gold pearl. Moroha wears her red pearl around her neck like a pendant.

Also, the girls’s hair does the Ghibli puff. Moroha’a hair is wavy like how Kagome’s was in the earlier manga so it’s adorable.

On the subject of character physical changes: Moroha’s eyes are more brown with a gray hint while Towa’s eyes are crimson. Setsuna retains her looks but their red streaks are dyed in honor of their mother.

Moroha gives Hisui blood. But he makes her promise it’s not unless it’s dire.

Kohaku, Rin and Hisui can go days without blood but no longer than six. If it’s been to long, their eyes turn spider lily red and they start to go into a feral state.

KinGyo are featured more in the later half of part 2. This fic idea is long but I am taking my time to write and work it out. But the Goldfish twins are featured.

Kin’u helps run the Higurashi shrine while Gyokuto has been taking care of the demon slayer village. Sesshomaru made it so the land was gifted to her family. So the cover story is it was in the family for years. She has a small weapons’ workshop and works with guns. She also handles demon slaying in Japan while the kiddos are away.

One of them is a lesbian, I’m still deciding which one.

Kohaku and Shiori almost had a child. But they decided against it because they weren’t how Kohaku’s vampirism would take in terms of genetics, since he’s still alive.

Shiori died during the Taisho era. Her death hurt mostly Setsuna and Kohaku.

Shippo and Soten took over taking care of the hanyo village.

Kohaku works as Sesshomaru’s informant. He’s actively looking for the Four Perils and Zero, and has always been just a step behind them.

It’s actually how he met Yuichiro (his love interest), who is human.

InuKag run a flower shop. Kagome wanted to open one in remembrance of her friends. She named it after Sango.

This whole story is going to take place from 2010 to 2014 😅

#inuyasha fanfiction #time travel shenanigans #inukag #mirsan #sesskagu #antisessrin #sessrinners dni

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heartclutter · 2 years ago

Video

youtube

No Nein Disco — English Translation

■ Music：r-906 ( http://twitter.com/arukuremu ) ■ Illust & Movie : サクヤ ( https://twitter.com/7UU61 ) ■ Translation：HEARTMUSH https://twitter.com/coeurings

Hello guys! I decided to use this song for my Picturing Sound class’s final, so the translation and analysis are a bit more in depth than usual. Please see the end of the post for more notes.

ノウナイ (No Nein, as specified by rg-906 on the Spotify release), is homophonous to 脳内 (Nounai), meaning “intracerebral”, or something that occurs within the mind. Interestingly though, “No Nein” is quite literally “No No”, with Nein being no in German. If I were to (attempt to) translate the title to an equivalent English, maybe Untellective Disco… I think the original is much better, haha.

ノウナイディスコ / IA No Nein Disco

でもさ何時の間に僕は此処に立ってんだ針飛びのダンサー濡らす閃光が煙るフロア醸すぬるい体温がまるで狂った様にさ

But you know? I dunno how long I've been lingering here in place Coruscations bathing the record skipping¹ dancers The tepid heat of their bodies stoke smoke onto the floor² It's as if everyone's gone insane!

めっぽう不安定なんて言ったって交わって踊っていようミラーボール刺すレイザーきっと愛を照らせ

Even if you say I'm missing screws Let's just dance and become one³ The laser floods the mirror ball And sets our love ablaze!

ねえどうして？なんで？なんで？なんで？キミは突っ立ってんの？ひょっとしたらボクの方が変かな？

Hey, what for? How come? How come? How come? You're just idling about? Could it be that I'm the one who's actually strange?

借り物の愛で着飾って他の何かの為に踊っているワタシはキミが好きって言ったって私は君が嫌いな様です

Dressed to the nines in love that retires at midnight I’m dancing for the sake of something that’s far, far away But even if I say "I like you" and confess 「 As it turns out I hate you, I’m sorry, I guess. 」

堪え切れず吐いた毒だって気が付きゃ真っ赤な金魚の様だからさ繰り返すんだあの合言葉を

But in the end I can’t stomach the spite I spew And suddenly I find myself a red-handed goldfish Like I said I’ll wind back the tape and air my party piece⁴

ねえもう許してなんて言ったって間違いを呪っていよう華やかにシンセサイザーもっとフロア飛ばせ

Oh please… even if I say sorry, You’ll still curse all my mistakes I’ll wave this fancy synthesizer⁵ more and blast the floor⁶ away!

ねえどうして？なんで？なんで？なんで？僕が間違ってんの？スパンコールのせいさもう分からないよ後ろの正面だっていうのにさ

Hey, what for? How come? How come? How come? I’m the one who’s gone astray? It’s gotta be these blinding spangles⁷ At this point, I don’t know! “The headsman⁸ behind you is me,” I said, and yet…

めっぽう不安定なんて言ったって交わって踊っていようミラーボール刺すレイザーきっと愛を照らせ

Even if you say I'm missing screws Let's just dance and become one The laser floods the mirror ball And sets our love ablaze!

ねえどうして？なんで？なんで？なんで？キミは突っ立ってんの？ひょっとしたらボクの方が

Hey, what for? How come? How come? How come? You're just idling about? Could it be that I'm the one who's actually—

って嗚呼もう五月蝿いな！もう何だってんだ！もう放っといてくれ！そんな目で僕を見ないで！いっそ僕を殺して！

—Aah, can’t you shut up!? Damn, what’s your problem? God, leave me alone! Instead of judging me with that gaze, Why don’t you just kill me now!

そうやって繰り返し喚いてみたって何にもなんないよ燻る脳内はずっとキミしか居ないから

You can rant and rave like that night and day, But nothing’s gonna change! ‘Cause all that’s left is you, yourself, and I in this smoldering brain.

GENERAL NOTES

There are two speakers in the song. One refers to themself as 僕 and the other refers to themself as ボク. Both are pronounced “boku” and translated as “I” in English, but 僕 is a standard first-person pronoun (normally used by men of all ages), while ボク is more like an atypical spelling of 僕 using katakana— an alphabet primarily used for foreign words with an artificial feeling.

僕 calls ボク, 君, and ボク calls 僕, キミ. Both are pronounced as “kimi” (you), but ボク, who thinks of themself as a composite of different “sounds” made with a synthesizer, continues to use the foreign, artificial spellings when relating to both themself and others.

In actuality, 僕 and ボク are two sides of the same person who are in conflict with each other. 僕 lingers outside the dance floor, removed from the disco and detached from life, while ボクis desperately attempting to fit in on the dance floor, even if they have to fake it. The song relays the narrator’s internal quarrel using the disco/dance floor as an analogy for navigating one’s place in society.

FOOTNOTES

¹ The original phrase, “針飛び”, refers to when the needle of a record player bounces, causing the sound to skip.

² The pronoun reference might be purposefully vague here. The speaker could be intentionally leaving their pronoun reference vague in order to refer to both themself as well as the other party, their "other self" among the sea of bodies on the dance floor. If I were to translate it from the singer's perspective, the lines would be as following:

My tepid body heat sets smoulder to the floor And it's like I start to come undone

Smoulder and smoldering (醸すぬる) specifically refers to smoke that isn't burning. Which to me, combined with the element of "lukewarm body heat", evokes an almost clammy feeling— like someone whose palms are sweating as their anxiety clouds over the dance floor in a haze of smoke.Similarly, the line "And it's like I start to come undone" could be interpreted as the singer saying it looks like they're dissipating into the smoke, losing their physical body and disconnecting from reality, as well as their mind.

³ “交わって” means to cross or mingle with, but can also carry sexual connotations. I think “becoming one” is the best way to describe it.

⁴ The term used here is actually “合言葉”— i.e, password or secret code. One side of the narrator is the type to try and blend in on the “disco floor” (something I’m choosing to interpret as a metaphor for society), pretending to enjoy life by mindlessly “dancing”, since everyone else is doing the same.

I think “secret code” may refer to social cues, or different ways to entertain people in social settings (to earn their favor, to “gain entry”)— hence my decision to translate it as “party piece”, which is literally some type of song, poem, trick, etc. someone can repeat over and over in order to amuse others (at parties, or, say, the disco!).

I also wanted to integrate a tape/record imagery to tie in with the mention of an analog record earlier in the song. Personally I think that both phonographs and tapes have the same kind of “imperfection”, in that they can be replayed, but the CD will get scratches, the tapes will unravel and decay, etc. There are only so many times you can repeat an action without “skipping”.

⁵ A synthesizer is an electronic musical instrument that generates audio waveforms (like a Minimoog or Yamaha DX7), but to “synthesize” means to create something from various elements, often chemically (read: artificially).

Keeping in mind the themes of this song, it can be reasoned that the singer is using a synthesizer to combine different sounds in order to make a show of themself.

⁶ Floor here refers to a dance floor. “フロア飛ばせ” is more of a party term, similar to “amp it up”, or “bring the house down”.

⁷ “Spangles” can refer to a shiny, decorative material like sequins or glitter sewn on an outfit as decoration, or a plural for scintillations of light.

⁸ 後ろの正面 references the children’s folk song, Kagome, Kagome, where a child designated the “Oni” (literally “demon or ogre”, but similar to “it” in tag) is blindfolded while the other children join hands and walk in circles around them, chanting the song for the game. When the song stops, the Oni tries to name the person standing directly behind them (thank you Wikipedia for the summary).

The rhyme has been theorized to be about a convict that’s soon to be beheaded, and while the last line (後ろの正面だあれ?) can be taken literally as “Who stands behind you?”, it may also be asking, “Who is it who stands behind me”, aka “Who is my executioner?”. In this case, I’m guessing either side of the speaker said they declared themself the other’s executioner, “and yet…”

Also, “正面(しょうめん)” on its own means a front or facade. I thought the double entendre was clever, so I tried to emulate it by using “headsman” rather than executioner (like a fake face).

#rg906 #vocaloid #translations

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wildgoose97 · 4 years ago

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Blush blush shit

WHY DO I FIND THIS ATTRACTIVE?

Honestly if I could choose one boy it’d have to be Cole...

Ight Of course crazy boy

My prediction right now is before the whole story of blush blush Cole was obssessed with us then after finding out that we turned a bunch of men into animals and now have to kiss them to break the curse he then purposfully found some magic water and drank it then killed the goldfish to lure us. Which he did all of this just to get our attention.

Doin my boy Scale dirty like that....isn’t Scale one inch shorter than cole?...

Eli is literally my last brain cell

This would be a great show

In conclusion...Cole has a very sexy voice, and I’m to gay to deal with this right now

#blush blush

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sparkie96 · 4 years ago

Note

"Does this seem normal to you" leon is hit with a curse that slowly turns him into a small lap sized cryptid. Chris gets protective and extra huggy

(Alright, so I suck with Cryptids, and a lot of the so-called “Cryptids” listed are hella offensive to different cultures. So I’m making Leon a small merman that fits in a fishbowl...mainly because I have been watching Ponyo a lot lately...) _____________________________________________________________

“I hate this...I hate this a lot…” Leon admitted, swimming around the tiny space of his bowl, “I can’t believe I’m going to be living in a tiny fishbowl in your house.”

“Claire and Sherry are at the pet store right now.” Chris informed his now tiny companion, holding the fish bowl between his hands and holding it up to get a better look at him, “So, you’ll have more room to swim around.”

Leon was about the size of a goldfish, maybe a bit longer due to his human top half. With his “Fishy bottom” that started at his belly, was interesting. His tail was like that of a Veiltail Goldfish, his tail white and spotted with black and orange dots before fanning out into a black tail, Chris recalled Claire comparing the pattern to a “Calico Cat”. But, according to what little research Chris had done, Leon’s colorations were normal for that of a goldfish.

Except that research really didn’t amount to jack considering this obviously wasn’t normal for Leon at all.

“I shouldn’t have to worry about having more space to swim around!” Leon protested, “I just want to be normal!”

“You are still kind of normal…” Chris said awkwardly, unsure of how to put it, “...ish…”

“Does this seem normal to you?!” Leon exclaimed, practically flipping, both metaphorically and literally, in anger, “I’m a goddamn fish!”

“Merman, I believe Becca said.” Chris corrected, showing Leon his height with his forefinger and thumb, “A really small merman.”

Leon pouted before spitting a stream of water up at Chris, making the elder sputter and protest in surprise. Once he was done, Leon crossed his arms and faced his back toward Chris, deciding to sulk.

“Aw, c’mon, Le!” Chris tried, holding the bowl up to face level once more as he tried to spin it so Leon was facing him, but the tiny merman just spun away, “It’s not that bad! You get time off from the DSO! And a personal swimming pool! And look!” Chris hugged the bowl closer to his chest, “We’re spending time together finally!”

Chris waited with baited breath as Leon glanced back over his shoulder at him, but his eyes still looked angry. Or annoyed; it was hard to tell right now because his hair partially obstructed his face. And, well, Leon was smaller than Chris was used to seeing. The merman seemed to turn back around, staring down in front of him and away from Chris. The older man let out a sigh as he held the bowl at eye-level.

“I’m really sorry, Le.” Chris apologized sincerely, hugging the bowl against his cheek, “I wish there was more I could do for you...but I’m not sure what we could do other than wait.”

More silence filled the fishbowl as Leon just floated there, his little tail flicking from side-to-side in annoyance. Chris watched bubbles leave the front of Leon, hearing a tiny sigh as Leon turned back around, facing him now. Leon looked up at him with apologetic blues, tiny palms pressing up against the glass as he watched Chris.

“I guess you’re right.” Leon agreed, “I’m sorry...it’s not your fault I’m like this. And not that it’s any excuse, but I’m just frustrated about this whole thing.”

Chris nodded, “I understand...kind of. And it’s okay. I would be pretty pissed if I was in your situation too. I’m sorry I’m not very good at comforting others.”

Leon gave a small smile, “It’s alright. You always look at the brighter side of things and try to make people laugh, and that’s a gift we all appreciate.”

Chris chuckled, “Thanks.”

They sat there in silence once more, Chris and Leon just watching one another, unsure of what else to say...until a thought came to Chris’s brain as he studied his companion further.

“If it’s any consolation...you’re a very pretty merman.” Chris admitted, “The tail is pretty cool looking and I like the scales on your arms and cheeks.”

Leon chuckled, “Thanks. Just don’t expect me to sing for you or talk to any other of your fishy pals for you.”

“Lucky for you, I don’t have any.” Chris laughed, “And I’m not one for musicals or seafood.”

“Good, because I don’t know how I would feel if I had to watch you eat shrimp or something while I’m like this.” Leon admitted with a shudder.

Chris drew an invisible x across his heart, swearing off seafood until Leon was one-hundred percent back to normal. He did ask where Leon wanted his tank for the time being, saying that Claire and Sherry should be on their way home by now. Leon tapped his chin thoughtfully before saying that he would like it on Chris’s nightstand...so that Chris didn’t feel so lonely.

“Alright...but what about Munchie?” Chris asked, noticing Leon’s cat watching them, more specifically Leon, from his perch in the window.

#early wip wednesday #Chreon #Cryptid #kind of #more like tiny merman Leon #Leon Kennedy #Chris Redfield #Prompts #Send Me Asks #maybe an upcoming fic?

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myfriendsarerealidiots · 4 years ago

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Comparing Adaptations

‘Kay so I went on one of my whims again and did something stupid. Couple weeks or so ago, I wasn’t really in the mood to watch anime so I opened up Netflix and watched a Cdrama that I wanted to watch for a while now.

That Cdrama was ‘The Untamed’ which, prior to me watching it and doing said whim, I thought was just your typical historic Cdrama. Oh boy I was wrong. As I was watching it, I was thinking to myself, “This show’s really selling itself off as BL.” Which, I found out after finishing it was because it is BL. Hah...and that was just the start of it.

As I was doing my ‘Post-show research,’ I found out that it was based of a novel, called ‘Mo Dao Zu Shi’or as translated by the people on the internet as ‘Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation.’ Said novel had 2 more adaptations along with ‘The Untamed’ which were a manhua and a donghua. So me being me, I decided to watch the donghua adaptation and read both the og novel and manhua.

So how I went through this was...

The Untamed (2019)

The Donghua aka Anime I guess

The Manhua which I read while having class (such a responsible student aren’t I)

The original novel

All hail this person who has too much free time on her hands.

Anyways, as it says on the tin, I’ll be comparing the 4 adaptations/versions of the story and see what changes between them as well as the pros and cons. (Wow I sound so professional)

Some background of myself just to avoid confusion

I am not a mega hardcore Fujoshi. I don’t really enjoy reading smut, nor am I old enough to do so bear that in mind

I have 7 years worth of Chinese lessons under my belt which means I barely understand a thing and that I can get some of the jokes like how Wei Ying’s sword is called ‘Sui Bien’ and it’s funnier to hear in Chinese. In other words, compared to like actual Chinese people who live in China, I pretty much have the knowledge of a 10 year old.

The versions of the Manhua and Novel that I read were translated in English so somethings might have been lost in translation.

I have a bit of a goldfish brain so forgive me if I wrote something wrong or forgot the name of a certain character, most likely I will look it up to correct it but if I don’t...well sorry.

I am writing my opinions on each version as I finish them, so if they don’t link up to the original that’s the reasoning behind it.

All of these are my opinions and thoughts on the story. You are not entitled to follow them if you disagree. I personally believe that everyone has a voice of their own and they should use it. (Even though I don’t half of the time.)

Slight Spoiler Warning

I will be breaking down some of the scenes and characters for my comparisons so please keep that in mind.

The Untamed (2019)

As this was my first exposure to the story, I didn’t know what to expect. I loved everything about it except for the fact that literally half of the show was spent in the past, building context for what was happening in the present.

The characters were lovable and all had distict personalities, especially Wei Ying and Lan Zhan which I guess makes sense since they’re the main characters (their actors are also cute and have good chemistry.) Speaking of characters, Yanli has a more forward role in the story here compared to the other versions. The way certain characters were introduced was different too. Since it’s live action, it’s also harder to show things like extreme blushing and such so it makes Lan Zhan look very stoic and way more unexpressive here than in the other versions.

The soundtrack is nice to listen to, especially with the 2 mains singing the theme song together it’s so cute and gives it another meaning in itself. Although, I do wonder how that poor bamboo flute Wei Ying made in like 2 mins plays decent sounding music. Chen Qing(is this the name of it?), the flute he uses after his trip to the Burial Grounds has the same sound quality as that bamboo flute which is just, “how???”

They took out most of the extreme BL!!! I feel like that is the biggest difference between this version and all the rest. I know they did that to appeal to more people but it does remove some of the context to things. That doesn’t mean the moments that were kept in weren’t cute though. It did make the pair look more plantonic than romantic.

As for the story itself, as a story on its own, it’s nice, as an adaptation that’s where the line gets blurry but it leans more towards the good side. They did indeed change some things, made them work better with the medium than if they didn’t.

An example I can place is the mask. Where the other versions used white make up with oddly placed red circles around the eyes, this one used a mask instead. I agree with the choice they made, seeing as they removed the fact that Mo Xuanyu was homosexual and so the make up wouldn’t make sense. It also looks nicer than what I imagined what could’ve happened with they kept with the make up. They do make a reference to this in the show when Jin Ling and Wei Ying have a conversation in Carp Tower. “You’ve seen my face right?” “How do I know? Your face is always caked in make up or covered by that mask.”

Another issue I had which I’ll touch on later was the first episode—I had no idea what was going on for those 40 minutes of screentime.

Donghua

As of writing this post, season 3 of this has yet to come out.

My first reaction to this was “Man, the animation’s pretty, and they made Wei Ying look scarier.” Watching stuff at 12 in the morning isn’t the best thing but that’s what I do.

Anywho, this version made Wei Ying really attracted to going down the path of ‘evil’ compared to the other versions. I don’t really understand why they made this change...but they did so we have to deal with that. And his eyes glow red!! It makes him look scary and cool at the same time. I love it!!

The transitions between certain events were a bit weird to say the least. For example, at the end of episode 2/3 Wei Ying gets forcibly dragged into the Cloud Recesses and the episode ends there. By the next episode, we’re 16/23/13 however many years in the past. This makes it really confusing for someone who hasn’t watched or read any other version of the story. It definitely made me confused and I already finished one.

While ‘The Untamed’ told us everything in one long flashback, the donghua broke it up into small chunks placed whenever information was needed. I don’t think that was a good idea, but then I also think it was a better decision than what they did for the Cdrama. As I watched this adaptation, I found myself confused from time to time because what happened in the prior episode didn’t always match what happened in the current episode like I mentioned earlier.

As for the artstyle, personally, I think some of the characters look similar minus the hair. However, I do like the little ways they made Lan Zhan express his feelings towards Wei Ying.

Speaking of which, when I first saw them together in this version in the forest near the Goddess Temple, I had to do a bit of a double take because of the height difference which wasn’t so evident in ‘The Untamed’. I soon found out that Lan Zhan was taller than Wei Ying before and after he gets reincarnated(?) Prior, it was just a small gap of 2cm which later turned to 6cm after possessing Mo Xuanyu.

I didn’t notice their height gaps while watching ‘The Untamed’ because Wei Ying’s actor, Xiao Zhan, is taller than Lan Zhan’s actor, Wang Yi Bo by about 2 inches which is like 5 cm? and so they had to do some weird thing with platforms to make Xiao Zhan look shorter in comparison.

Soundtrack wise, I personally think that ‘The Untamed’ was better in that sense. Where it had an amazing souding flute, this one had minor earrape in a nutshell.

This version made itself, in my eyes look more like a historical fighting anime as opposed to the BL vibes I was getting from ‘The Untamed’ and the other versions. They added a lot of action scenes and made the mystery more interesting for me. Along with this, the overall look and feel of this made it seem like it came from a completely different source material.

Manhua

Small FYI, as of writing this post the Manhua is at 147 Chapters.

(I should’ve kept up the trend and got a screenshot from that scene in the Manhua but I didn’t so here we are with gay rabbits.)

As your local internet friend who reads more manga than normal books nowadays, I enjoyed reading the manhua and finished it in a couple days.

Compared to the first 2 versions here, these last 2 are both things that you have to read to get through, albeit one has pictures and one doesn’t.

While normally, one would read silently, I like listening to music while I do. And seeing as the OST of ‘The Untamed’ sounds really nice, I listened to it while reading both the manhua and novel when I could.

This one brought out the BL elements that were missing from the first 2. They gave Wei Ying and Lan Zhan a lot of kissing or just straight up affectionate scenes which I think ties in with the general theming of the original novel more.

As this one is probably the closest of the adaptations to the original, it’s the least confusing to read, although that might’ve been influenced by my experiencing the story for the third time at this point. I say that, however, there were many story elements that weren’t present in either one prior to this.

Examples this can be seen with their collecting of body parts that belonged to the former Nie Sect Leader. In ‘The Untamed’ they find the sword spirit which guides them through the rest of the story. In the Donghua adaptation, they get the arm, but also get the head of the the Jin with the hundred holes curse which was an original addition. Here, they get the arm from Mo Manor, find the other one then find the torso and so on before finding the head in Jin GuangYao’s possession.

The flashbacks in this version were also executed really well, in my opinion, as it doesn’t feel super confusing while reading it and it gives just enough information to help the events unfold. It also gives us a chance to see how much of an ass(sorry) Wei Ying was when he was the Yiling Patriach from his own perspective as well as give us a moment of WangXian in the middle of all that chaos.

Novel

Here’s a picture of gay rabbits for everyone.

At this point, I was switching between the novel and the Manhua to read whichever one I wanted at any given time which might have blurred my sense of what belonged in each one so I’ll try my best to make sure.

Since this one is the original source material, it was clear from the get go that this will be the one with the least confusing version of events and the most amount of detail.

I was surprised on how close the manhua and ‘The Untamed’ was to the novel. Although, the former condensed the mystery to fit within the timeframe while the latter hasn’t finished just yet.

Personally, I like this author, and will probably read more of her works further down the line. Even though the version I read was in english, I still could feel the meaning behind certain aspects which I think shows her skill as an author.

The novel clearly shows the mischief that goes through Wei Ying’s head and their gradual (I say gradual but I think Lan Zhan just snapped) change of attitudes towards each other.

Arc One- Mo Manor

Past here I’ll break down the first arc of each one because I think all of them did it in relatively different ways. Be warned for spoilers if you haven’t watched or read all of them.

The Untamed (2019)

Out of all of these versions, this one definitely had me scratching my head in confusion the most even after watching it a second time once I finished the entire show.

As the only version that had the curse issued at the start as a moving factor of the story as well as the Yin Iron which was specifically made for this version, it didn’t explain enough at the start.

There were many things I could say were wrong about this beginning, from starting at a flashback to not properly introducing us to our characters but the biggest problem in my mind was the lack of explanation at the present.

Like I mentioned, starting at a flashback is a terrible idea as it gives the viewer high expectations only for it to be crushed the second it ends. Here, it shows a small portion of the battle at the Nightless City without much context then it quickly changes to 16 years later with a seemingly random group of people.

Another issue is the amount of useless characters who were introduced. In the other versions, there were only 2 Lan disciples who were given names and were introduced properly while here there were more than I want to count. Add to that the one telling stories about the YiLing Patriarch and the weird guy walking around with a flag, and you got yourself total confusion.

Donghua

This one was slightly less confusing to watch. As it starts with a clip of Wei Ying commanding corpses which matches the overall feel of the donghua. The rumors that he died stretched over the time skip and we meet this version of Mo Xuanyu who is caked with make up, whether or not he was a cut-sleeve (gay) in this version, I forgot.

It fully explains the curse and instead of having a couple of Lan disciples just standing there watching, we get to focus on the 2 important ones, Lan Sizhui and Lan JiYing. It gives us a slightly deeper insight into Wei Ying’s mind, as he states ‘you got the wrong one,’ just after being reincarnated, indicating that he isn’t as vicious as painted by the first few minutes of the show. Like the other versions, they also show how he considers the cons of using his demonic abilities and that Sizhui would probably tell on him to Lan Zhan, meaning that Sizhui was a keen, observant young man.

Manhua and the Novel

As for the introductions, these two were very similar. Both have the rumors of the Yiling Patriarch across the screen as we get further down the story and meet our main character.

It gets the details from the Donghua adaptation and mixes it with more information to create a more detailed account of what was happening, also making this Wei Ying seem smarter compared to his counterparts in other versions. He also hesitates more on showing his abilities, knowing that he’s going to be caught if he does.

Final Thoughts

As of writing this, I’m only halfway through the novel but it covers the portion until where the manhua is currently at. I would finish reading it before posting this but it would take too long and probably make this post even longer than it currently is, which isn’t such a good idea. If I had much more patience and effort I would really like to break down each arc and their differences from one another but I can’t be bothered right now. (Sorry)

I can safely say that in terms of adaptations, ‘The Untamed’ is relatively close to the novel, albeit a very condensed version. As flashback filled as it is, it wasn’t very confusing to watch past the first two episodes.

The Donghua adaptation takes several liberties, going more of an action oriented route instead of the calmer more, I wouldn’t say love but character oriented novel.

The manhua is definitely the closest to the novel, so if you really don’t want to read a lot of words, and I mean a lot of words, then go ahead and read it.

What else do I have to say...if you’re new to the story, welcome, if you’re a veteran who’s been here longer than me, sorry for taking up space on your feed. And congrats for making it to the end.

#the untamed #mo dao zu shi #manhua #donghua #cdrama #wei wuxian #lan wangji #wei ying #lan zhan #fujoshi #comparisons #mdzs #wangxian #yiling patriarch #yiling lao zu #hanguang jun

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residentlesbrarian · 4 years ago

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The Third Book I Read In the Dark: You mean there's more and this time it gets GAY! Sign me the F*** UP!

Sovereign by April Daniels

As Day 1 of my time in the dark ages was coming to a close so did my second library book and even though it was late and I should probably go to bed (and by bed I mean the couch in the living room closest to the fireplace because sweet sweet crackling warmth) I couldn’t help but at least crack open the sequel to the phenomenal book I’d just finished. I was set to have wisdom tooth surgery the next day bright and early but with the state of the world I had doubts it would happen so, you know...YOLO.

Now, I know what people say about sequels, never get your hopes up too high because usually they will let you down, but I was so pleasantly surprised to know that the curse of bad sequels passed over Sovereign without leaving its mark. I loved this just as much if not more than the first book. If my review of the first book is anything to go off of this is gonna be a mess so let’s get this love fest on the road!

Unicorn Rating:

Blurb: Danny is finding her feet as Dreadnought but things are far from easy especially with curve balls coming from every angle. Things are getting harder, darker, and maybe a bit...gayer!

Disclaimer: I will try my best to not spoil anything from the book, but my book loving rambles may give more away than a traditional review. Here we go! Ramble time!

Review:

Diving right into this I genuinely liked this book just as much if not a bit more than the first book. Now there are a few reasons for that, one is that we don’t have to deal with Danny’s parents much, my feelings on them were made very clear in my last review. The second was that, although we were introduced to a few new characters, we were mainly focused on characters we already knew and just got to know them more so it did what I think all sequels should do; build on what you already know while adding just enough new stuff to keep you coming back for more.

The plot of this second book is a multi-layered beast that I had a blast peeling back piece by piece, while also not being too difficult to follow. It is for sure a much darker plot than the first book, but as someone who’s second book looks to be pretty dark and emotionally...well, ouch, I can really get down with this kind of character heavy story that really depends on the reader being invested in the struggles of the characters more than an overly complicated plot. The twist also still got me there at the end. Comeuppances sure are fun to see. Okay, I behaved for a whole two paragraphs and talked about the plot now to really let ‘er rip!

Oh boy! Oh jeeze! How do I want to do this!?! Ummm spin the wheel-o-characters and see where it stops? Sure! That's a solid way to write coherent and professional reviews (I know logically I should start with Danny but I’m saving her and a particular western themed vigilante till last for GAY reasons)!

The Wheel has chosen and I am going to talk about Karen first! So, Karen, this was a character that when she first showed up I was utterly confused and then got so freaking excited so freaking fast when I figured out who she might be! I literally closed the book and went, “That ain’t a backpack!” Now I am gonna try and be extra careful about how I word this next part to try and not spoil anything, but please someone ask me questions about it so I can gush about it more in a spoiler filled response! So, if you read my Dreadnought review I genuinely liked Valkyrja and I was so sad we weren’t going to get to see more of her after the ending of the last book, but then Karen quite literally broke on in to make my day. She honestly fascinated me. The struggle she is going through reminds me so much of something from one of my favorite animated shows, RWBY, that has been an ongoing struggle since Volume 4 for the character of Oscar. (I won’t say anymore cause I don’t want to spoil the book or the show, you should read the book and watch the show, they are both awesome and then come into my ask box and we can talk about how interesting it is). She was a character that I felt deeply for because of her struggle, but also was conflicted on because of reasons that I can’t get into but man...just Karen, why, Karen why?

So next up we have more from the local literal wizard, Charlie, who is as sleep deprived and as eclectic as ever. He is a good example of what I meant when I said I was glad we were able to spend more time with characters we already knew. He was instrumental in the plot even if he was mostly a background player, but I cared about him when the crew got into big fights because I already knew him and knew that he wasn’t a fighter. He was a friend in a world where there weren’t a ton of those to be had.

Oooo let’s do another newcomer, Kinetiq, who admittedly has a bit of beef with our girl. Danny has been getting a lot of press for being “the first transgender superhero” which is not at all accurate she is just the first pretty white superhero with Legion-sized support and funding behind her and Kinetiq never lets her forget it. They are a non-binary Iranian-American superhero that has been capin’ way longer than Danny has but hasn’t gotten nearly the recognition. They are such a cool character and really rounds out the team of superpowered teens.

Let’s dig into our villains next. I still hate Graywytch with every fiber of my being and the burning passion of a thousand suns, but that isn’t ever gonna change, so we can move on before I have another melt down like last time. We wouldn’t want that now would we? Maybe you do. I don’t tell you how to feel. So now we can talk about Sovereign (I know we got his civilian name in the book but I have forgotten it because I read these books in 2 ½ days and I have the memory of a brain damaged goldfish so we’ll just go with that), he was a character that we met him and I immediately went “Sooo, he’s the bad guy right?” Everything he said just oozed “entitled asshole” and “I’m more important than you.” And I don’t necessarily think that is a bad thing. Now I do like to have some more complications in my villains, some grayness and not all black and white, but in a story so hinged on Danny struggling internally with so much I think having a really deep complicated villain would have been too much to handle at the same time.

I’ve contained this as long as I can and I can’t contains it no more…*runs to the top of the nearest mountain* I LOVE DOC IMPOSSIBLE!!! I know in my last review I said she gave me kookie grandma character vibes even though she didn’t really fit into either one of those categories, but she still just fits like a puzzles piece into a hole in my heart of characters I love. The reveal at the end of Dreadnought that she was an android only made me love her more and then to see how much she is struggling with what Utopia used her body to do against her will just makes me want to give her all my love and support even more (Maybe I just have a thing for characters breaking away from controlling abusers and fully accepting and owning themselves for who they truly are *cough* Yasha from Critical Role *cough*). And no spoilers but the ending scene with Danny and her made me squeal/tear up with happy tears.

So now on to the main event or well...the main character and her grapple handed revolver wielding bandana wearing paramore. Now I’ve alluded to it in the other character opinions but Danny, well, Danny goes through it in this book. I remember while I was reading it thinking how tired I was, part of that was probably because I had been reading literally non-stop for two days but also I think I was really picking up on Danny’s fatigue in that it just never ended. As soon as one trial or tribulation ended she had little or no time to rest before she had to force herself back to her feet and say, “Alright, whatcha got?” Danny also goes to some pretty dark places, and as someone with some experience with PTSD it was really compelling to read a character who was working through those kinds of thoughts and...not handling it well. She was rash and angry and lashing out, she was far from the perfect picture of composure her publicist/lawyer wanted her to be, that’s for sure. Danny is yet again a fascinating character to follow along in her journey because she has so much depth and is so compelling because she is so flawed.

Now Danny’s dynamic with Calamity/Sarah this book was just...so good. Now do I think they are perfect and amazing and gonna go off and have a perfect little capin’ life together...honestly, no. But that is why I love them so much. I was convinced Sarah had the budding start of feelings for Danny all the way back in the first book but Danny had SO MUCH going on she didn’t notice and Sarah wasn’t gonna push the issue and probably didn’t even really know what she was feeling herself. I am a connoisseur of gay media after all, but the hints were there. When nothing came of it I didn’t feel let down because it wouldn’t have made since in the story of the first book especially with Sarah losing her arm and everything else. Then this book came around and turned everything up a notch. Danny is realizing she is soooo much gayer for Calamity than she thought, and Calamity/Sarah is really being the only person who isn’t letting Danny slide when it comes to the self destructive behavior she has been kind of reveling in which I am so here for. In relationships, good relationships, you have to be able to call each other out, call bull shit on one another, without it getting personal. We see that in real time develop between Sarah and Danny. We also see that Danny really depends on Calamity and her wit and know how in battle situations because, lets face it, Danny is the muscle, but Calamity is the brains. The fact they are able to work together so well is just a testament to the fact I think they will have a good relationship going forward. Maybe not all sunshine and roses all the time, because that isn’t realistic, but they will support each other and protect each other in the way that matters and counts. And I am a soft bitch when it comes to stuff like that.

My final thoughts on this is that I really liked the way, after such a hard and trudging journey (I say that with as much love and admiration as I can), we were able to have an ending that radiated such softness, such hope for a future that wouldn’t be full of so much pain and struggle. I needed that ending. I needed that exhale to be able to just settle with Danny, and Sarah, and Doc, and the rest of the crew after the holy hell storm they had to go through in this book. I know there is supposed to be a third book in the Nemesis series but I would be okay with it ending here. Sure, there are some unanswered questions plot-wise, but I am happy with where our characters landed and by now y’all know me, I’m in it for those sweet sweet character driven stories so I’m good. That doesn’t mean I won’t read the third one when it comes out, but I’m in no rush. My reading list is currently lording over me with a baseball bat and looking mighty threatening so I should probably start on that. *nervous sweating increases*

Queer Wrap-up: Let’s jump right into this tally. Of course, we have our protagonist Danny who is living her best life, well not really but it’s a figure of speech, as a transwoman and trying to shine a light on trans superheroes and doing an ‘eh’ job at it but at least she is trying. Now we did get to see another side of Danny’s identity in the fact she is not only trans but also a lesbian. Now this wasn’t hidden in the first book, but it wasn’t the focus by a long shot, and I gushed a tad in my review about Danny’s irrefutably adorable gay panic at meeting her celebrity crush, Valkryja, but other than that and a few lines here or there the focus is definitely on Danny’s identity as a transwoman in the first book but this one brings her lesbian identity out more and I loved to see how the two mixed and how there was never any questioning there. Danny is a woman who is attracted to woman, so she is a lesbian...easy peasy. Love that for her. Now onto what moved this from a four unicorn rating for the last book to five for this one. We get the lovely romance between Sarah and Danny confirming that Sarah falls somewhere on the spectrum, though she never defines herself in any way other than loving Danny, and we know her and Charlie have dated in the past so we can assume she is also attracted to men. She could be bisexual, pansexual, we don’t know and she never says and honestly it doesn’t matter. I’m just gonna sit in my happy little queer bubble and watch her and Danny be cute. We also have the additional rep of Kinetiq, the kick ass nonbinary superhero that joins the team. They give us additional gender identity rep outside of just Danny and they are snarky and awesome to boot.

So yeah this more than earns that last unicorn by building and expanding on what the first book started and I also believe for the amazing rep and deep dive into the mind of someone being trans and just living their life as super powered and fantastical as it maybe, which is something I cannot personally speak to, I think this earns a place in the Sparkly Unicorn Hall of Gay! I swear this won’t only be YA super hero series, remember Raven: Pirate Princess is in there too!

Links:

Goodreads

Dreadnought Review

So this book took slightly longer than the others to read mainly because I had to go to the next town over to maybe have wisdom tooth surgery. Well, that didn’t happen cause the whole state was one day out of an ice storm and was still walking bow legged but hey I got to eat something that wasn’t reheated soup for the first time in 2 days. French fries have never tasted so good! Once I dug into this book though it flew by like the rest. Remember that I found all three of these books in the library I work at so check the shelves of the ones near you, you could be surprised what they have on their shelves just waiting to be discovered. Trust me, I’m a lesbrarian.

But now I was sat most of the way through Day 2 and I was officially out of library books! Whatever would I do? Find out next time on...The Books I Read In the Dark!

#Sovereign #april daniels #Nemesis book 2 #resident lesbrarian #5 unicorns #mtf transgender lesbian #queer amputee woman #nonbinary character #wlw rep #ya novel #ya science fiction #Sparkly Unicorn Hall of Gay #go to your local library #but wear a mask #and wash your hands #and stay 6 feet apart #be safe out there guys gals and nonbinary pals

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obeymematches · 4 years ago

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Hello ♡

I hope you're doing well! I've been following your blog for a while now and I've finally gained enough courage to send in a matchup request. This is my first request here so I hope I did well in describing myself! Also, I'm sorry if my grammar's bad ^^'

To start off, my mbti is infp-t while my enneagram is 4w3. I'm a really private person and it can be quite challenging to really know me - which explains my small social circle. Those who are close to me has said that I'm actually really hard to read (I swear it wasn't intentional! I really thought I was easy to read but I was wrong after all lol). In social settings, I'm often quiet and prefer observing rather than engaging myself with other people. I would give them a smile to be polite though but I won't talk unless it's about something important. I'll always make sure to think twice before I talk too, so that I wouldn't offend anyone by accident. While I'm not much of a talker, I won't hesitate to speak up if anyone disrespects my beliefs and personal values.

Despite how unapproachable I may appear, I'm a huge emotional mess and I have a deep interest in trying to understand other people. I do have the desire to be noticed by others but at the same time, I kinda didn't want to draw too much attention on me. When I'm around people that I'm comfortable with, I won't even bother to hold back my feelings. I love trying to make people happy and I'm always ready to listen to other people's problems, hoping so that I could lessen their worries and burdens. As an empath, I can absorb other people's emotions and put myself in their place - though, it can be overwhelming for me sometimes. I'm also quite affectionate and goofy once I'm comfy with the person.

I'm protective over the people I love and will do anything I can to defend them if things go wrong. While I dislike arguments and conflicts, I won't hesitate to fight someone if they bother the ones I'm close with. I also have a really huge soft spot for children lol. I'm quite adventurous and a curious person by nature. I always try new things for new experiences since I get bored easily. I had to admit that I have the attention span of a goldfish. Also, I'm pretty ambitious but I gotta admit to my laziness. Also also, I'm simultaneously am and not competitive. Honestly, I'm a walking contradiction (I'm literally confused with my own personality sometimes).

My bad qualities would be that I can be too idealistic and I'm also procrastinative. I can be impractical too. There are also times when I let my insecurities overtake my mind and during those times, I will become more distant. I'm also prone to taking things personally and is easily offended. When I'm offended, I'll become very sarcastic (I'll even act all petty if I'm too offended and honestly, it wasn't something that I'm proud of at all). I can be pessimistic too when things are rough and I tend to underestimate myself a lot. I'm also an overthinker and easily distracted. I can lose track of thoughts while I was speaking if I'm too excited about the topic because my brain will go all over the place and become scattered. ^^'

I love expressing myself through art! I'm still in the process of improving my skills for digital paintings tho. My hobbies include drawing, listening to classical music and lo-fi, daydreaming and reading. I'm also really interested in learning languages and psychology. Other than that, I find it fun to learn about other people's beliefs!

What I look for in a partner is someone who is confident, would take the time to really understand me for who I am and someone who is just as adventurous as me! I would love to explore new things and get ourselves lost in a huge city together or something ya know 😂 I thought that it would be so much fun and thrilling to figure things out together while learning new stuff. Other than that, I want them to accept me for who I truly am without any judgement. I'm more than open to making a few changes in my lifestyle in order to improve myself for them, but I really hope they'll be able to do the same thing for me ^^ I really appreciate it when someone's matured, respectful, open-minded and thoughtful. Since I can be really non-confrontational during conflicts, I would also really appreciate it if they have the effort to pull me out from my headspace and talk things out with me and resolve the issue. I also appreciate intelligence and patience in a partner.

Thank you for taking the time to read my description and thank you for the matchup! I'm sorry if it's too long for your liking tho! I really love your blog so keep up the good work ♡

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Hi!!!

Thank you for sending in a request! awwwwww i’m happy you worked up the courage <3

I hope you like the result!

I have Simeon, Diavolo, Solomon and Satan on my mind..

Okay so I decided to match you with Solomon!

Here is why:

So you mention confidence is super important to you so that narrows down the circle to him and Diavolo. Solomon has no issues with being confident and spending time around him would probably boost your own confidence as well.

Similar to you, Solomon is also someone who keeps quite a lot to himself and it really takes time to get to know him. Both of you being the same in this regard will probably slow things down a bit, but he is good at reading people I believe. (he is probably not on the same level as Satan but he is still really good at it)

I think he can be quite a bit talkative, but again he does it in a way that you don’t acually get to know much about him, even when he talks a lot. This balances out the relationship well, as one of you is a bit more quiet when the other is more talkative.

I have a feeling he would be the one to start conversations for a while. You declare yourself an unapproachable but thats ok! in his eyes that just makes you stand out more and he likes that!

I think he would find it interesting that you are so quiet or only talk when you must, and he would probably ask you about it. like were you not feeling well? but when he learns that you are just more of an observer he would find it adorable. he kind of makes it his secret goal to make you more confident in social settings. however when its just the two of you, he is always eager to hear you out!

I don’t think he would talk much about his worries or burdens to you even after you two open up more to each other. Definitely not major issues. But he always appreciates that you are there to listen to him in case he wants to talk about something! Or if he does he does it rather slowly, like always telling only one part of an issue. I think he is rather independent.

Oh, he could tell you a lot about many different stuff to keep you from being bored, so no worries! like witchcraft, magic, and the like

Another reason why I picked him for you is that he is rather realistic, so he could balance out your tendencies to be idealistic.

He is very quick to catch your changed behaviour and would notice you becoming more distant when your insecurities are taking over. But I don’t think it would make him insecure and question your relationship, like i definitely don’t see him sitting and thinking if you are about to break up or what. Instead he would make time for the two of to be private asap and he would directly ask about you acting differently and if you want to talk about it.

Another reason why I think he is good for you is that generally he is not offensive? like some of the brothers can be, but I don’t think so it’s true for Solomon. So it’s a safe choice and there wouldn’t be any conflicts about that.

In case someone else offends you I think he would curse them without you knowing

Your hobbies are not exactly the same but in a healthy relationship that shouldn’t be an issue right? idk what part of of the human realm he is from but theres a chance he is not from the same country as you, and if that is the case the two of you could teach the other your mother language!

i have a strong feeling he knows ancient latin.

I think he is also someone who thrives to know as many stuff as possible. but like he is probably a Faust

Oh he is very much into adventures! idk where you are at in the story so i don’t want to spoil anything but in canon he is known to have visited all the realms at least once.

#obey me #obey me!#obey me matchup #obey me solomon #solomon obey me #om! solomon #obey me undateables #swd obey me #obey me swd #obey me shall we date #om!#submission

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fawnideer · 5 years ago

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Kyoutani Headcanons

Kyo is my favorite Haikyuu boy and he deserves more recognition :( so here I am @ 3am writing out all the Kyoutani headcanons I can remember lmaooo

Animals love him. Like, ALL animals: large, tiny, old, young. Kyoutani himself doesn’t know why, but he’s never really questioned it. The team finds it funny because people are so wary of Kyoutani yet animals just aren’t intimidated by him at all

A family of ducks once followed him across the street so that they could cross safely. It made the local news

He has a little sister, who’s in elementary school. She’s the polar opposite of Kyoutani- sweet, adorable, sensitive, harmless, etc., and he walks or drives her to/from school every day

Kyoutani is a surprisingly calm and quiet driver, although he does speed and it doesn’t take much for him to get road-rage

He drives his dad’s old 2003 Toyota Corolla (it’s red), and he got his license at a younger age than normal so that he could drive his sister around. He didn’t like the idea of her walking by herself to a friend’s house or to their grandparents’ house

Kyoutani’s mom passed away when he was young (around age 10). His sister was only 2, so she doesn’t remember much of their mother. But apparently, according to their dad, Kyoutani has a lot of her features

Kyoutani’s mom was black, so he’s got her curly hair and darker skin tone

Though Kyoutani won’t ever admit this, another reason why he dyed his hair was because he was tired of his dad looking at him with this odd sadness in his eyes, as if he was the embodiment of his mom

His dad has a drinking problem. It started after Kyo’s mom passed because his parents were really close and very much in love. He used to be close to his dad when he was young, but he became distant, and now he never sees him since he’s always at work

Kyoutani’s grandparents (on his mom’s side) are financially very well-off, and they help out a lot in paying for his school expenses (Aoba Johsai is a private school so it’s expensive af, but his grandparents love and support his volleyball dreams)

Kyoutani and his fam live in a small house in a run-down neighborhood. This is part of the reason why he always looks so scary, because as a kid he thought that the older neighborhood kids were terrifying delinquents who would beat him up if he didn’t look intimidating enough

His dog is a shepherd mutt and her name is Bella. Kyoutani talks to her (and all animas) in a gentle, quiet little voice that is very out-of-character for him

Sometimes his dad gets violent when he drinks too much (though this rarely happens because he is rarely home from work). Kyoutani sends his sister to their grandparents’ house for the night to keep her safe

Kyoutani hates hot weather. It makes him mad because you can only take off so many layers of clothing to try and seek relief from the heat, yet when it’s cold, you can add layer after layer and you’ll be able to warm up endlessly until you’re no longer cold

He has insomnia. When he can’t sleep, he watches volleyball films and tries to take note of certain techniques. Or, he watches long medical documentaries, because they’re so boring that they put him right to sleep

When he was a kid, he wanted a dog so bad that when he got a goldfish for a pet, he literally named it “dog”

Kyo has a thing for legs. Like, if he has a crush and said crush wears shorts it will murder him 100%

Once, on his way to school, he rescued a baby squirrel that had fallen out of a tree and put it in his jacket to keep it warm. He got to volleyball practice that morning and took it out of his jacket and Watari cried when he saw it because it was just so damn cute. Since then the team has seen him in a softer light :’)

He and Watari actually vibe pretty well, because Watari is quiet and respects his personal space and he’s got a generally calming presence. Kyoutani just feels very comfortable around him, and though he’s never said it aloud, Watari knows this because Kyo will come and stand/sit by him when the rest of the team is loud and/or getting on his nerves

He hates scarves because he hates when things touch his face, which is why his hair is short and has stayed that way. Otherwise it would get in his face and annoy the crap out of him

His favorite curse word is “fuck” but his favorite insult is “shit-bag”

When he gets overly annoyed, his legs/arms twitch and it’s impossible for him to sit still

In general he finds it hard to sit still, because staying in one place/position for so long is boring

He’s horrible at writing and spelling and he isn’t too great math, but he understands science fairly well, especially physics

Once his respect is earned, he’ll stay loyal until his trust is broken. If you break his trust, it will be nearly impossible to gain it back

He’s stubborn as shit, except when it comes to his little sister because he’s whipped for her and he’d do almost anything she asked

In grade school he really liked playing with clay in art class (because it’s squishy and he gets to smash it, duh), and he’d always bring home the clay animal sculptures he’d made to show his dad. His dad kept them all, and they all sit on a shelf in the living room. Kyo finds this incredibly embarrassing, but he doesn’t have the guts to tell his dad to move them

He doesn’t use his phone much, except when he wants a distraction or when he wants people to avoid talking to him. His texts are simple and he uses lots of abbreviations to hide the face that he can’t spell for shit (example: “r u comin 2 practice”, “tht suckd”, “u = shit”)

Kyoutani is surprisingly good at fixing gadgety things and untying complicated knots. The smaller the task or issue is, the easier it is for him to figure out- like, smaller knots are less frustrating to untie than bigass ones

He hates long distance running, he’d rather run sprints. However, he prefers lifting weights as his form of working out because Iwaizumi lifts weights duh

Contrary to popular belief (since Kyo is a lil punk), Kyoutani doesn’t listen to screamo or heavy metal. In fact, he kinda hates it because he doesn’t like having someone yelling directly in his ears. That shit’s stressful and just makes him a n g e r y

He’s ambidextrous but prefers using his left hand. Unless he’s with other people, then he uses his right hand (he doesn’t know why, it’s just what he does)

When he blushes, you can barely see it on his face, and his expression doesn’t really change all that much, but his ears turn bright red and it’s super cute (but don’t tell him that or he’ll figuratively kick ur ass)

....aaaand that’s it :) I might add to this or make another list later on because my brain is literally like KYOUTANIKYOUTANIKYOUTANI all the fucking time

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heartsheartsgalore · 5 years ago

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things i’ve learned while recovering from depression/anxiety/cptsd

- people are not tired of “you” necessarily. they’re tired of the output from your depression/anxiety/whatever negativity

- it’s unfair to expect friends to take on all your negativity

- friends are not people to unload all your negativity onto

- friends don’t have the skills required to sort through all your mental health. that requires a professional.

- some friends do suck. some friends make you feel worse. it’s okay to not talk to them.

- it may seem like some friends only want to hang out with you when you’re feeling better. that might be true for different reasons. maybe they feel triggered and their own mental health suffers when around yours. maybe they’re literally shit people. who knows though? ask. it’s always okay to just ask and be open. don’t blame someone if you already know your mind warps things and is probably projecting your own insecurities onto them.

- therapy might not be for everyone, but generally, mental health professionals are better are helping you organize your thoughts because they’ve (theoretically) been trained to look for patterns and such. regular friends aren’t trained to know what to look for.

- it’s hella hard to find a therapist you immediate connect with. it sucks. don’t feel like you have to stick with a therapist when you don’t vibe w/ them. it’s okay to try new ones.

- if you try to find new therapists, know that you’re prob gonna be more defensive each time. this is normal. your distrust is valid. but it’s still good to try.

- it’s okay if you need to take a break from searching for therapists too. it’s a long arduous process. if you take a break, be mindful of not letting the depression take over during your break. how? see below where i list a few examples.

- it sucks when people say to ignore the pain and suffering you feel. it’s valid to feel upset when you feel unheard.

- when trying to recover from an eating disorder, fixating on losing weight is not the way to go. that just feeds into the eating disorder. figuring out why you have the eating disorder and solving that is the first step.

- when eating disorders stem from people telling you you’re ugly all the time: fuck those people. curse them off in your head. or tell them off in person!

- when eating disorders stem from wanting to look like other fit people: fit people exercise and eat healthy all the time. taking shortcuts by starving is not going to get you fit.

- eating regularly is better than starving. this might make you gain weight, but it’s better to consistently eat meals to form that pattern and then later change the things you eat. ramen every two hours? fuck yeah. eventually only eating ramen every other meal and eating pasta for the other meals? fuck yeah. eventually swapping some fruits and veggies in? fuck yeah. gain the weight at the beginning and then work it off later, but keep the routine of nourishing your body with energy. it’s a mentality thing.

- fuck people who call other people fat and ugly. those people are the ones who have ugly personalities.

- https://www.7cups.com/ is a good site to just have someone to chat with. here and there people won’t connect or their advice is bleh. but it’s nice to feel somewhat connected for a moment during those difficult times. some people on there are good at showering you with supportive things. even if you feel like it’s not hella genuine cuz literally they’re strangers who don’t know you, it’s still nice to hear nice things about yourself. “it sounds like you’re going through a lot, but it sounds like you’re trying your best. whether you believe it now or not, i think you’re a good person and i’m rooting for you!”

- https://www.imalive.org/ is also a good online chat when feeling overwhelmed

- if you’re being abused at home then call someone to help get you out

- allowing yourself to do nothing and taking a long extended break is not wasting time. it takes a lot of time and energy and safety to let out the negative feelings.

- when you can, try to be proactive and fight against the intrusive thoughts. “my brain is telling me i’m worthless. i’m not worthless. i still have the ability to think. cheetos. baby kittens. space. witches. haHA! i stopped my brain from cycling the negative thoughts. oh...but i’m just wasting time....NO! goldfish! bagel bites! HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL! ~we’re all in this together~ pitch perfect” etc. depression is a vicious spiraling cycle of negative thoughts. shoving in random thoughts (preferably positive things you enjoy) can help break the cycle.

- even if it sounds stupid af, break the cycle with anything. name all the objects in site. count how many pieces of lint are on your clothes. do anything menial to distract when the depression takes over.

- abusing substances, self harm, starving are all succumbing to the depression and it’s okay* if in that moment it was hard and you couldn’t resist. feeling guilty about it will feed the depression some more. but next time, try to fight it off with obscure neutral or positive things. (*by “okay” i mean, it’s alright to accept that it happened. accepting it and learning and moving forward toward recovery is better than feeling shitty and falling deeper into guilt)

- the depression hashtag is full of people saying “i’m the only one who...” “i’m so alone and no one understands” etc. but i mean, there’s soooo many people saying that so technically, no is really alone. everyone just feels misunderstood by the people in their immediate surroundings. this is the benefit of the internet. people who are similar can connect.

- don’t fester on each others’ negativity. empathize. feel comfort that other people understand. but once the negativity spins and feeds your depression, disengage.

- after doing something hard (like writing a long post about depression) treat yo self! neutralize the emotions. imma go eat some crunchy snacks now cuz hearing the sound of the crunching helps ground me. find things that help ground you.

- crunch crunch

#depression #anxiety #help #sad #lonely #eating disorder #ed #therapy #ocd #adhd #autism #bipolar #bpd #recovery #mental health

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captainsolare · 4 years ago

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Unspoken Words Chapter 8: Festival

fic masterlist

Summary: Bakugo discovers a passion for music and becomes a cover artist in secret to deal with his feelings, but what happens when his secret could be exposed, and his feelings along with them?

A/N: Please don’t send me hate for this chapter, I know to some people certain ships are unpopular but in this fic there’s no established relationships.

Bakugo once again couldn’t sleep, so he decided to do some research in an attempt to ease his nerves. ‘What to do on a festival date that’s not really a date and you’re really just using each other as an excuse to avoid certain people.’ Predictably the internet returned no helpful results. His phone chimed, a notification from Kirishima. Bakugo hissed, he really wasn’t in the mood to deal with him after his embarrassing moment of weakness earlier. “Hey bro, I know you’re probably asleep but if you want to go to the festival tomorrow the group’s down to go.”

Much to Kirishima’s surprise, Bakugo responded. “Sorry. Pink Cheeks asked me to go with her. Something about being upset with Deku or something.” “Woah you responded, isn’t it way past your bed time?” Kirishima teased, though he was also a bit shocked that his friend had agreed to go with Uraraka. He chewed his lip thoughtfully, he had never sensed a romantic connection between the two but he supposed that it could be possible; Bakugo was never that open with his feelings.

With that thought in mind, he felt a pang in his chest; he was still reeling from his discovery that all of the songs on Bakugo’s channel were about Midoriya. What if he liked him instead? He tried to push the feeling that he had intruded on something extremely personal in his friend’s life so he could respond to Bakugo’s next text. “Yeah it is.” “Soooo… Uraraka 😉?” “Can it Hair for Brains, this literally means nothing to me.” “Uh huh, sure. Isn't this going to be your first date like, ever?” “Not a date. But even if it was I’m not nervous.” “ 😏😏😏 Okay whatever you say, we’ll see how you’re feeling tomorrow big man.” “🙄 whatever. Goodnight.”

“Dammit.” Katsuki cursed under his breath, Kirishima really did have him all figured out didn’t he?

Early the next afternoon, Bakugo headed to the flower shop and bought a single pink rose to give to Uraraka when he saw her tonight. It was technically a date after all, and he’d be damned if anyone said he didn’t know how to show someone a good time and be a gentleman. He figured a single rose would do, since they were going to a festival after all, no need to make her hold a huge bouquet. Plus, he scoffed at the thought, he didn’t want to give anyone the wrong idea, it’s not like he liked her, he was just being nice for once. He tried to sneak back into the dorm without anyone seeing him but to his chagrin, Sero and Kaminari were on the couch and Momo and Jiro were downstairs as well. “Ooh! Bakugo, who’s the flower for?” Sero asked teasingly. Momo and Jiro perked up at that, “Yeah Bakugo, who’s it for?” Jiro asked. “None of your business.” he retorted, grumbling as he walked over to the elevators. He could hear the others all whispering and giggling about it and it made his ears burn.

Up in her room, Uraraka was getting ready with Tsuyu. “Are you sure going with Bakugo is a good idea?” she asked, glancing at her friend. “Yeah. I think it’ll be fine, he may seem a little grumpy on the outside, but I think there’s a soft, kind person in there somewhere.” Uraraka replied. “Hmm.” Tsuyu said doubtfully.

Bakugo opened his closet, perusing his options for the night. He opted for jeans and one of his dressier t-shirts, he wasn’t a complete slob, despite what some people may think. As he was leaving the room, his eyes landed on the bottle of cologne on his dresser. He spritzed some on, careful not to put too much on, remembering the time he did and his mother had lectured him about smelling cheap. He put a watch on for good measure, and then headed downstairs, flower in tow.

The common room was quiet, most of their classmates had left earlier wanting to get first dibs on the good food and the prizes that were sure to be there. Bakugo paced around downstairs, not wanting to admit how nervous he was but he needed to get the nervous energy out. He ran through the checklist of what he had planned tonight, for the most part he was going to let Uraraka pick what they did but as soon as 10:00 hit they were going somewhere else because he had already staked out a perfect spot to watch the fireworks.

“H-hey Bakugo.” Uraraka called from near the elevators. He turned and nearly dropped everything he was carrying. There Uraraka stood, in a simple pink yukata with a plum blossom pattern and her hair in an updo. He recovered pretty quickly and tried to hide the blush on his face. “Here.” he said, “I got this for you.” He held out the flower, and Uraraka noticed the blush on his cheeks. “Oh, thank you Bakugo! It’s lovely.” she said, smiling at him. “Well, shall we?” she asked, opening the door. “Sure.”

And so they went. They sampled almost all of the food, Uraraka caught a few goldfish, and Bakugo won her a stuffed animal dragon that she wanted. Watching Uraraka enjoy herself, Bakugo felt the rest of the world just melt away; nothing else really mattered right now. Despite himself, Bakugo found himself having fun, and even dropped his grumpy facade and gave her a smile. When he did, Uraraka felt her heart melt; she’d never heard a laugh that bright before.

From afar, Midoriya scowled. “They seem like they’re having fun!” Iida said cheerily. “Yeah, I didn’t know Bakugo could smile.” Todoroki remarked. Midoriya faked a smile, “Yeah, good for them.”

Kirishima and the rest of that friend group followed behind Bakugo at a distance. “I need evidence for later.” Mina said, pulling out her phone to take pictures when they saw Bakugo smiling and laughing with Uraraka. Sero and Kaminari ran by the pair, giving them a whistle. Mina chuckled as Bakugo activated his quirk and started yelling at them until they disappeared from view. “They’re a cute couple aren’t they?” she remarked to Kirishima. “Yeah…” he replied, but his heart ached with the weight of what he thought he knew.

Bakugo looked around and saw all of their classmates gawking at them. He leaned down and whispered in Uraraka’s ear, “Let’s run.” “What?” she asked, taken a bit off guard; she quickly took a look around and saw that everyone was watching. “Ohhhh, yeah, I’m down if you are.” she whispered back. She hiked up her yukata, grateful that she had chosen to wear shorts underneath and she took off her sandals. Once she was ready, they took off at lightning speed through the crowd hand in hand, leaving all their classmates behind. Once the festival and their classmates were out of sight they finally stopped, panting and laughing. They quickly realized they were still holding hands and let go, involuntarily stepping back from each other and blushing from the contact.

Bakugo collapsed to the ground in laughter, “Did you-- did you see the looks on their faces when we took off? Really showed them to spy on us huh?” he said, gasping for air as he laughed. Uraraka nearly doubled over in laughter, “Yeah I did, it was hilarious.” Suddenly, Bakugo’s watch started beeping. “Oh damn, it’s almost time.” he remarked, hopping up from the ground. “Time for what?” Uraraka asked. “No time, just come on.” Bakugo replied, grabbing her hand once more.

He led her to the top of a large hill just outside of town and they sat down. “Why are we here Bakugo?” “Just wait.” He said, excitement creeping into his voice. Uraraka gave him a skeptical look, but it soon melted into a gaze of wonderment as the color bloomed in the sky and they had a perfect view. “Oh wow, it’s beautiful. How did you find such a good spot?” Bakugo gave her a cocky smile, “Oh you know, I know a guy.”

“Hey Pink cheeks, can I ask you something?” Bakugo asked, during a quiet moment. “Hmm? Yeah what is it?” “Why’d you ask me to take you? I know you said it was to get back at Deku or whatever, but surely Kirishima could have also done the job?” “Ahh. Honestly, I was mad at Deku, but I’ve wanted to spend time with you for a while now.” Bakugo’s face immediately turned red. “Not like that!” Uraraka exclaimed, “I’ve just wanted to get to know the real you.” “I see.” he replied. “Well, either way. Thank you for asking me, I had a good time with you.” “Same here, I had a good time with you too.” The fireworks soon started up again, and their hands rested atop the other’s, as they sat there in comfortable silence, they wondered what the future of their friendship held.

#bnha fanfiction #bakugo fanfic #katsuki bakugo #ochako uraraka #my hero academia fic

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knowledgefulbutterfly · 5 years ago

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Paris

(song: Paris by the Chainsmokers)

“Come on!” A blonde girl whispered, staring down at the small piece of tech in her hand, “just jam the signal. That’s all i need from you.”

Brennan blinked a couple of times, turning his head ever so slightly to look at the girl around his age next to him. Her hair was dirty blonde, maybe dyed, but not likely, and she was wearing a casually oversized crop top with skinny jeans and chunky Adidas. He turned back, thinking he may of misheard her talking to herself, but she spoke again, leaning a little closer to the painting in front of her.

“A flick of the lights and it’s mine,” she breathed, then looked down at the device, “so why the hell won’t you work?”

Brennan tried not to snort as best he could, but she looked so frustrated. She didn’t know that he had already jammed the electronic frequencies for four blocks. He shook his head. Newbies. Takes them forever to learn.

“Pardon?” a man, a security guard asked the girl, tapping her arm, “pas de photographie au flash.”

The girl nodded at the man, pointing at the screen, “Vérifiant juste sur ma mémé. Elle est tombée hier.”

The man nodded, but told the girl to put away her phone. Brennan nodded slightly, impressed.

“Grade-a lift, my friend,” he said quietly, “You got the guy’s key card while he was leaning over to look at your phone.”

The girl looked up at Brennan, brown eyes wide and lips slightly open. She gaped like a goldfish for a few minutes, but regained her composure.

“I doo not know what you meen,” she said with a heavy french accent, “Zat man, hee tahlked to me ohvf mah telephone. Eet waz on, youh see?”

Brennan laughed, shaking his head, “You’re not getting this Vermeer.”

That set the girl off, “And why not?” she asked, dropping the accent, “I am a perfectly capable cat burglar.”

“But you talk to yourself,” Brennan said, shoving his hands in his pockets, “Rules of thievery: don’t talk to yourself.”

She turned fully to Brennan, arms crossed and a finger tapping out a mad rhythm on her arm, “Rules of Burglary: don’t piss off a cat burglar.”

Brennan laughed, looking down at her, literally. She was almost two heads shorter than he. “What are you gonna do to me? I’m twice your size.”

“Yeah,” she said, brushing past him angrily, “My brain is twice the size of yours though.”

A tourist on the other side of Brennan snorted just as he did to the girl. He stared angrily at the stranger, who just held up their hands, “I was just wondering if you would like some ice for that burn.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

That arrogant asshole!!

Mara stormed out of the small museum, throwing down her trashy frequency jammer. That’s what she gets for trying to make it herself. She ran a hand through her long hair, calming down. She got the boy’s, wallet as she brushed by, though, and had his--probably fake--ID.

“Brandon Royer?” She asked, squinting at the small picture of a young man with slightly shorter hair and paler skin than the boy inside the museum.

“So, you’ve been here a while, eh, Brandon?” She asked, “Trying to steal my Vermeer? No way.”

She whipped her head up, trying to find the boy’s inevitable getaway vehicle. Her’s was the tiny moped with a pizza delivery service panel on the side. Girl with a Pearl Earring fit almost perfectly inside a padded pizza box, and Mara had figured that out herself.

The boy looked less like a professional burglar and more like a hitter, so his stolen car would be big and gaudy. A sports car.

Mara zeroed in on the red charger as soon as her eyes hit it, running across the street even as cars sped across. She checked under the steering column to find that it was, indeed, hot wired.

Mara parked her scooter behind the charger, pulled her hair up into a beanie she found in her worn messenger bag, and waited for the boy to come rushing out.

A loud boom came from inside the museum and smoke poured out of the open front door. People were pouring out, coughing and hacking, but “Brandon” was not. He sidled out of there, portfolio case in hand and a smirk on his face. Police stopped him to ask what happened as he crossed the street, and Mara could just hear the stumbling french.

“Je suis un étudiant en art. Carnet de croquis est dans le sac,” He gestured to the aforementioned bag, and they glanced in, seeing blurred portraits of people. Mara smirked. That was a good con, hiding the painting in a large portfolio.

The boy moved towards his stolen car, throwing the bag carelessly in the backseat and throwing himself in the driver’s smugly. Mara started her Moped and merged into traffic, sticking out her hand as she passed the charger and catching the edge of the bag, throwing the wallet into his lap as she passed.

“Never piss off a cat burglar!” She yelled as colorful curses came from the dark-haired boy.

#writing #thieves #fiction #my writing #conning #writers on tumblr #writeblr #series #slow burn #romance #burglary #art #paris

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mononoke-no-ko · 7 years ago

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[TRANS] R2 Sound Episode #2: Kururugi Village, The Inn of Evil Spirit, Scary Geass is Truly Existed

youtube

Full translation below.

Kururugi’s Village, The Inn of Evil Spirit, Scary Geass is Truly Existed

(footsteps)

Suzaku: Looking over from the long staircase that reaches the main hall of Kururugi Shrine, the scenery I encounter is still the same as before. This quiet pastoral scenery reminds me of childhood memories I had spent together with Lelouch and Nunnally. The scent of the wind and the sound of twitting birds are still there. However, now I'm not the same as I was then. Knight of Seven, a knight who’ve sworn allegiance to the Emperor of Britannia, Kururugi Suzaku. But only for today, I have to go back to the old me. In order to finish the mission that cannot be accomplished by anyone but me.

(footsteps)

Gino: Huh? I heard that there's a festival in Suzaku's hometown so I even came here to see it. But there's nothing at all here, Lelouch.

Lelouch: Yeah, that's because after Suzaku left, this place became unhabitated.

Anya: Lelouch, where's the FAVORITE-grill?

Lelouch: FAVORITE-grill?

Anya: An Area 11's food that's similar to pizza.

C.C.: Pizza? Where's the pizza?

Anya: Not pizza, FAVORITE-grill.

Lelouch: Oh, perhaps you mean Okonomiyaki? (TN: a name of Japanese food usually sold in traditional festival. Okonomi = taste,as one's like,preference, Yaki = grill)

Anya: I can't find GOLDEN FISH CATHER either.

Lelouch: It's Kingyo Sukui. (TN: Literally means "snatching goldfish", it's a must-have game in Japanese traditional festivals)

Rolo: Brother, just like Gino and Anya said, it seems there is no festival here.

Lelouch: As I've explained, Rolo. I did say that we're going to have a matsuri (offering, worshiping to god), but I didn't say that there is going to be omatsuri (festival).

Rolo: Is it different?

Lelouch: Completely different. The offering I mentioned is a ritual to appease the god that resides in this shrine. The one you were talking about is a temple fair. Basically a FESTIVAL. It's totally different.

C.C.: Eh, so boring. Why do we have to go to see that ritual?

Anya: Number's language is so hard to understand.

Lelouch: Look up the dictionary! Then again, the ones who want to come here in the first place are you guys.

Gino: What is Suzaku going to do here?

Lelouch: That I don't know either. Kururugi Shrine has different origin than the usual Shinto beliefs in Japan. Its origin is older than the establishment of Japan, no, I heard it even goes back to the time before recorded history.

C.C.: Eh, really.

Lelouch: There are various theories on which Shinto shrine is the oldest in Japan, but the most influential among all is the Ōmiwa Shrine in Nara Prefecture. This shrine is the place to worship Ōmononushi-no-kami as the main god, as well as Ōnamuchi-no-kami and Sukunahiko-no-kami.

C.C.: Anya, today your getup looks unusual. What exactly are you wearing?

Anya: Miko(shrine maiden)’s dress. Gino said it's a must-wear for festivals.

Lelouch: I've been wondering for awhile, why the plaque of Kururugi Shrine's main god is hidden. In Buddhist temples, there are hidden Buddhas that can't be seen for religious reasons, but such thing is rare for a Shinto shrine...

Gino: Because, there's someone who said that for Elevens' shrine festival even if you don't know anything else, first of all you need a miko. OH, JAPANESE MIKO GIRL, VERY CUTE.

Anya: AHA~, THANK YOU SO MUCH

Lelouch: Pay attention when other people are talking!

C.C.: Oh, so you're still here, Lelouch.

Lelouch: Listen, since all of you were asking, I was trying to explain what Suzaku is going to-

Suzaku: What am I going to do, Lelouch?

Everyone: Suzaku!

Suzaku: I thought it was so noisy, turns out it's because of you guys. Why are you here?

Lelouch: Cutting to the chase; to see what you'll be doing.

Suzaku: What the, you bothered to come here just for that reason. By the way Anya, what's with that strange clothes?

Gino: It's a miko, Suzaku.

Suzaku: Miko? But isn't she wearing miniskirt?

Gino: Eh?! But this is what your friend with funny glasses told me to prepare, you know.

Suzaku: As I thought, it was Lloyd's idea.

C.C.: Indeed, although I have had several experiences as a miko, I've only worn it with that sort of miniskirt in a cosplay event.

Lelouch: What!?

Suzaku: C.C.'s cosplay. . . .

(imagining)

C.C.: Okay, THINKING TIME is over. Boys, are your delusion finished yet?

Gino, Lelouch, Suzaku: YES MY LORD

C.C.: That being said, that's a big luggage you got there, Kururugi Suzaku. What are you bringing?

Suzaku: Oh, this? Well, what's in this bag is the props needed for the ritual.

Lelouch: Would you do it according to the conduct of Engi-shiki, after all?

Suzaku: What? 'Engi-shiki'? What's that?

Lelouch: As an heir to a Shinto shrine, how could you don't know about things like this. The Engi-shiki is an important literature in Japan that has been passed down from ancient times. It's like a manual for Shinto shrine's activities.

Suzaku: Ah, my family has nothing to do with those.

Lelouch: What?

(Open the luggage)

Suzaku: Well since Kururugi Shrine is a pagan, so for props needed in the rituals, we're using these...

Lelouch: Suzaku!

Gino: Whoa...

Rolo: What's that?

Anya: Gross.

Lelouch: That red and black liquid in that glass jar... could it be...

Suzaku: This is the blood that was squeezed from a decapitated chicken head in the middle of crossroad at midnight.

Rolo: Then, what about that strawdoll?

Suzaku: A cursed strawdoll that was buried for 49 days besides a grave that has no offerings.

Gino: And this rusty iron bar is?

Suzaku: It's katana. A sword that was used to cut off criminals' head in ancient time.

C.C.: It's a pretty unique collection.

Suzaku: This is already much better than the old times. It is said that a hundred years ago, the most beautiful girl in the village is offered as sacrifice.

Lelouch: I've never heard of the usage of these props in a ritual. What are you planning to do here?

Suzaku: Sealing evil spirits. Kururugi Shrine was originally built for this purpose, and the strength of the seal have gradually weakened, so it must be renewed for every 30 years.

Gino: What would happen if it's not renewed?

Suzaku: The seal will be lifted, and the evil spirits will be resurrected.

Lelouch: Evil spirits? What nonsense.

Suzaku: And yet, this is a ritual that must be performed by those who inherit the Kururugi's blood. Then, I'll begin the preparation for the ritual.

Lelouch: So, Suzaku, how will you perform the ritual?

Suzaku: Well, in a word, that is... casually.

C.C.: Casually?

Suzaku: Well, I don't know the details, but this kind of thing is just a matter of feelings.

Rolo: Is that right, brother?

Lelouch: Y-yeah! Precisely.

Suzaku: Well then, ehm ehm. Evil spirits begone, evil spirits begone, be cleansed, be purified, evil spirits begone, evil spirits begone...!

C.C.: Hmm this is more a joke than expected.

Anya: Really just casual.

Lelouch: Oi, Suzaku, somehow the air turns bad.

C.C.: Now that you mentioned it...

Anya: There's something coming out from inside the altar!

Evil Spirit (with Emperor Charles' voice): Who dare to disturb me in my sleep, paparapa~?

Everyone: Ooooh!!

Lelouch: What is this monster?! Is this really an evil spirit?

Evil Spirit: So it's you people who sing strange spells in my ear, paparapa~.

Everyone: No, that's only Kururugi Suzaku.

Suzaku: Eeehh?!

Evil Spirit: I see, so it's you! Long time no see Kururugi's son, paparapa~.

Suzaku: Eh, err, um, excuse me, is it correct that you're a classified evil spirit?

Lelouch: Why used polite speech.

Evil Spirit: The answer is YES. Now let me eat all of you, paparapa~

Gino: The development is too fast.

Rolo: Because we've already far exceeded the scheduled time after all.

Lelouch: Suzaku, what're you planning to do for this kind of situation!?

Suzaku: Shit! Casual incantation are not enough after all!

Anya: It can even be said it's counterproductive.

Suzaku: Aish! Now that it comes to this, only Lancelot can be used to dispel the evil spirit!

(Lancelot starter)

Suzaku: Damn evil spirit, prepare yourself!

Evil Spirit: Don't underestimate me, paparapa.

Suzaku: I got defeated in just a brief-aaaah....!

Lelouch: What?! With just one attack Suzaku's Lancelot is...

Gino: Then, let me use Tristan to... aaah!

Anya: Gino; instantly killed.

Rolo: I'll stop the time with GEASS, then use Vincent to... waaah!

Lelouch: Rolo!

Rolo: I'm sorry, brother, I can't do anything....!

Suzaku, Gino, Rolo: Ah. . . . . !

Lelouch: There's no other way. Now that it comes to this, I have to be the one to do something to deal with this.

Evil Spirit: Oh? What kind of technique will you show me, paparapa?

Lelouch: There is no need for any technique. I just need to deny your existence.

Evil spirit: WHAT!?

Lelouch: Ghosts like evil spirits are nothing but strong imaginary that people themselves created. In other words, they're group hypnotic. Therefore, the you in front of me, are only an illusion created by my mind.

Evil Spirit: I am an illusion, paparapa?

Lelouch: Yes, Evil Spirit. Try to ask yourself, do you have parents, or families?

Evil Spirit: That kind of thing, I don't!

Lelouch: Right, you can't possibily do! Why? Because it's our brain that created you here, you don't actually exist. You're a shadow, an illusion!

Evil Spirit: What even...

Lelouch: Lelouch vi Britannia command you, for your entire existence to be denied!

Evil Spirit: As you said.... Don't screw with me! Paparapa.

Lelouch: Shit! So this isn't working after all.

Evil Spirit: Damn humans, wasting my time with these kinds of trick. This time I must eat all of you and bring disaster to this world, paparapa!

C.C.: What now that you’ve uselessly provoked him, Lelouch?

Lelouch: Don't panic! There was just a small error in my calculation.

Xingke: Well, we wouldn't want to get cursed because of your calculation error, would we.

Lelouch: What, Xingke!? And there's Tianzi too!

Xingke: I sensed a strange irregularity so I come down to check and find this situation. Tianzi-sama, what should we do?

Tianzi: There's no other way, Xingke. We can't just ignore it right, Kaguya-sama?

Kaguya: Right! Just as Tianzi-sama said.

Lelouch: Kaguya! Even you are...

Anya: Unconventional development.

Xingke: Rest assured, Lelouch, I was born in a family that mastered the art of Qimen Dunjia and Feng Shui from the past. This type of demon or evil spirit is no match for me.

Tianzi: As expected from Xingke, really reliable.

Lelouch: No, I’ve never heard of such thing in your backstory.

Xingke: Don't mind too much, it's just a fun setting made for a spinoff story.

C.C.: No subtlety at all.

Xingke: Evil spirit, give in before my presence! %^%%*^*$(%.... Come, everyone follow me!

Everyone: E-eeh?!

Lelouch: Do we have to recite that too, Xingke?

Xingke: That's right, this is the spell that's used to drive out the devil. Come, together!

Everyone: %^%%*^*$(%....

Xingke: No energy! Say it louder!

Together: %^%%*^*$(%!!

Evil Spirit: Pfft, that kind of spell is useless, paparapa.

Xingke: Impossible! Why?!

Evil Spirit: An old spell like that has already outdated, paparapa. I'll also make you fly to the star!

Xingke: Waaah!

Tianzi: No~ Xingke....!

Lelouch: Tch! Is there nothing else we can do?!

Evil Spirit: However, it wouldn't be impossible to negotiate if the most beautiful woman in this area is dedicated to me as living sacrifice, paparapa.

Lelouch: Sacrifice?! Stop dreaming, Evil Spirit! Who would want to do such a thing?!

C.C.: I see. Although I'm reluctant, there's no other way but for me to give my body.

Kaguya: Wait a minute, C.C., that should be my role to fulfill!

Anya: The most suitable one should be me.

Tianzi: Even though I'm young, I have to become a sacrifice for Evil Spirit. It's heartbreaking, but it’s something that needs to be done.

Lelouch: W-wait! Why are all of you so eager to be the offering-wah!

Evil Spirit: The most beautiful women seem to be here.

C.C.: Since the most beautiful woman is the one to be appointed, there's no one else but ME, right?

Kaguya: If you are that cheeky, dying a thousand times won't be enough!

Tianzi: If we put future state into consideration, then for this role I should be-

Anya: Shut up, little girl.

Tianzi: You too are the same.

Lelouch: Gah! Stop it, all of you! I definitely won't let any of you to be a sacrifice! It's absolutely not allowed!

Evil Spirit: What is this? Is no one going to be the sacrifice? Then I'm going to annihilate all of you, paparapa.

Lelouch: !! Is it over for us!?

C.C.: It's too early to give up, Lelouch.

Lelouch: What?

C.C.: Only this spell I never want to use. But at this point, there's no other way. Listen well, Evil Spirit! The cursed existence in the Underworld, I command you in the name of Taniguchi Goro, immediately return to the realm in which you belong!

Evil Spirit: A-aaah...

Lelouch: He's disappearing? What is this spell!?

C.C.: In the name of Okouchi Ichiro, the end of cause and effect, the end of the beginning of universe, the point of chaos. Go to slumber in the permanent graveyard!

Evil Spirit: Ah... why is it... why do I feel that if I don't listen to the order, something very horrible will happen? Ah, I really don't want to.... ah, paparapa!

Lelouch: The Evil Spirit is... gone!? We did it...! Amazing, C.C.!

Kaguya: It's annoying but I'll admit it's a brilliant skill.

Anya: A miraculous spell..., what is it?

C.C.: The spell that's used to praise the Creator who governs this world, and we cannot rebel against this Creator.

Lelouch: Is that so?

Tianzi: This sounds like creepy stories that sends chill down your spine.

Lelouch: Well, doesn't matter. With this, now the world is saved. Everyone! Let's go home!

Anya: I'm hungry.

C.C.: Me too, Lelouch.

Lelouch: Why are you telling me?

Kaguya: Then, let's eat pizza together!

C.C.: Oh, that's a really good idea.

Lelouch: Sigh, what a bunch of carefree people.

C.C.: Still not as much as you.

Everyone: Hahahaha!

(crows)

Rolo: Ah, it's the first star!

Xingke: In the mountains it gets dark pretty fast.

Gino: What do we do, Suzaku?

Rolo: Our KMF can't move anymore.

Suzaku: Soon Lelouch and the others will definitely find us. Just hold on for a while.

Gino: It seems like it will be cold tonight.

Xingke: Tianzi-sama, your Xingke is here.

Suzaku, Gino, Rolo, Xingke: Quickly come and find us....!

(crows)

#code geass #lelouch #suzaku kururugi #c.c.#code geass sound episode #anya alstreim #gino weinberg #li xingke #kaguya sumeragi #tianzi #rolo lamperouge #translation

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