#anyways today fucking sucked
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re : how each brother reacts learning that they can't go back
you'll have to pry the "all the Brozone Bros knew what happened at the tree" headcanon outta my cold, dead dead dead hands.
#sandflakedrew#trolls clay#trolls john dory#trolls floyd#trolls bruce#on today's docket : brozone angst#added in order of who i think found out first to last#listen#listen listen listen#they Knew!!!#JD for obvious reasons#Clay from Viva#Bruce isn't taken aback hearing Viva's story either. He's heard before#the combo of Floyd's 'never thought i'd see any of my brothers ever again' & 'is it really you?' hits a similar note for me#They! Knew!#clears throat. anyways#me to me : okay but wouldn't it be a little bit /more/ fucked up if JD didn't /let/ himself be fully gray? wouldn't that be worse?#the idea of someone forcefully sucking that shit back in?#terrible.#awful.#perfect for JD#perfect perfect perfect one might even say#same kinda deal with bruce.#what if you heard the news and felt compelled to try and live for more people than yourself. in order for your current peace to be fair#what then#i have more thoughts but this is enough tags as is#trolls
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#re: my tags on my last post. tumblr compression is fucking with me today -_- I had to reupload#If u saw this 5 minutes ago no u didn't.#anyway hi I'm not gonna rewrite my tags from the og post. it was mostly about how I think I suck at drawing but not as much as when I last#drew ze fanart#nnrart#zero escape#vlr spoilers#999 spoilers#akane kurashiki#seven 999#snake 999
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i walked past this store in a mall today called fossil that had like. watches n jewlery n purses or something and i thought of. fossil objectified so i drew that.
idk how this kinda looks decent tbh this is only like my 3rd time drawing them. like, its not great, but you can tell it's her, so, i call that pretty good :P
#silverware's art#objectified comic#fossil objectified#idk. i was just compelled to do this.#also like ive been really unmotivaded ig?? first time drawing on krita for days.#last time i drew somethin was 2 days ago on good ol ms paint. oof.#i hate only posting one thing but. i feel like accumulating things in genres to post en-mass#ig ill just tell myself i'm gonna save up posts so i wont fucking die when i go back to school on thursday#ANYWAY! i went to hot topic today. first time in my fucking life going there. very nice employees. my friend did not misinform me#i also got some like. kiwi-watermelon cotten candy. pretty good?? ig?? idk. kinda sweet. overly so. but nice at the same time.#uhhh. i did fuck up one of her hands a bit but.. uh. sucks. i dont wanna go back to fix it.
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hi.
#i know most of you didn’t even realize i was gone#but man…#my mental health was like in a state of 📉📉📉 in the past 30 days like we love being mentally ill and fucking insane <3#it was mostly bc i panicked and started obsessing over possible water damage in my flat kind of out of nowhere#like it started when my landlord came to check my bathroom bc my downstairs neighbours had water stains on their ceiling back in july#which had been caused by their shower curtain apparently but i was already spiraling when my landlord told me so i was sure it was my fault#i was assuming it was bc of me bc i had sometimes been spilling some of my bathwater and i was like WHAT IF IT HAS GONE THROUGH THE FLOOR?#and it didn't help that it has been hot af and very humid in my apartment LIKE WELL OVER 25 DEGREES AND 60% HUMIDITY#anyways i couldn’t shake this not matter what i tried and my fucking insane brain made me think i was going to get arrested for like#flooding the whole building or for causing some sort of mold infestation#i had SO MANY panic attacks; i wasn't able to sleep; i wasn't able to eat; i was on edge and panicky basically 24/7 so fun fun fun :D#and i kept waking up in the middle of the night and HAD to go check my walls or the space below my kitchen#it was compulsory like i couldn't not get up and go check and tbh i would've thrown out all of my furniture if i could've to check for mold#(and shhhh i know how fucking insane this sounds but having a mentally ill brain that's anxious all the time does suck ass sometimes 🥲)#(the worst thing about it tho was that i was SO AWARE of how insane about this i was being and yet i couldn't stop losing my mind over it)#(also i was so ready to move tf outta here bc i couldn't handle being triggered 24/7 which is why my mom let me stay with her last week )#i was so out of it that i couldn't even let myself do the things i usually enjoy... like at all#like watching my shows or spending any ungodly amount of time on tumblr... or replying to messages i got from people who i love#ig this goes to show HOW bad this actually was for me mentally bc usually tumblr and my shows are like my safe place#anyways we finally had a leak detection dude come over today and we had him check the water levels in my walls#and he said everything is fine and he specifically told me i should stop worrying about any water damage BC THERE IS NO WATER DAMAGE#he also said that the weather has just been insanely humid this year so it's not surprising that the humidity levels are higher than usual#i’m still a bit scared about some possible mold but ig this is good enough for now#i am aware how ridiculous this must sound for anyone who's reading this now but couldn't let it go not even with meds so let me live pls :(#TLDR I WAS GOING THROUGH IT BUT I AM BACK I THINK AND I AM MOST LIKELY GOING TO START BOTHERING YOU WITH MY GIFS AGAIN <3#AND I JUST REALIZED I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN ANY OF THE HEART KILLERS STUFF YET ASIDE FROM ONE OR TWO PICS LIKE :(#OH AND I NEED TO START WATCHING SUMMER NIGHT ;_;#sabrina talks#@AIRENYAH GIRL I AM SO SORRY I WILL PROBABLY REPLY TO YOUR MESSAGES LATER TODAY OR TOMORROW MORNING ;_;<3
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wip wednesday
thanks @swordbisexual i’m going to inflict original work upon you… ok technically it is bible fanfic, some adam and eve type of short story with a horror twist, but it’s original too………… omg … sorry……….. @carnalapples @shadoedseptmbr @giliath @bharv let’s see what you’re working on no pressure….
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The request is to awaken. She hears it like a whisper in her ear. One moment, there is nothing, just an echoing blackness that is comforting. And then, she opens her eyes and looks down at her reflection in a pool of water.
These are the details: there is a pool of water. There is a reflection in it. Eyes and a nose and a mouth. Hair that falls around the shoulders, long and curly and brown with dimensions, many browns, many curls. Bare shoulders, a soft curve to them, a narrowness. She leans forward to see more. Hair falls down over the chest. Skin is like bronze. Hands are flat against the ground before the pool, fingers threaded through long blades of grass that shoot up and out of powdery soil. She lifts one hand and looks at the palm, then at the nails, curved and a little long, and very clean despite the darkness of the soil at her knees.
“Very pretty,” a voice says, different from the voice that woke her up. There’s a man behind her, watching her watch herself.
“Thank you,” she says. The words materialize in her mouth. She lets them out without hesitation. She has no reason to hesitate.
#this is the very beginning#im just writing now and sketching out the story so we’ll see#got more down today and its taking shape maybe#idk! whatever lol#this is so hard#and I can’t tell if it’s shit or no#this passage is fine maybe#ok anyway haha#wip wednesday#my writing#this is embarrassing asf..#i regularly write fictional characters fucking and sucking but sharing the most chaste and simple original thing is like#so weird….#anyway this is even embarrassing to say but i wanted this to be like sci-fi kind of also…. so like sci-fi horroresque… god i want to hide#lol!! haha!! lmao…
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I know most ppl rlly like gremlin-Moon who’s always picking on and messing with Y/N (BuT LiKE iN aN EnDEaRiNG WaY) but I grew up with three older brothers. Anyway I personally would love to hit gremlin-Moon with a bat
#doodles#sketches#fnaf moon x y/n#fnaf moon x reader#gremlin moon#I don mind the occasional joke but if all of ur humor is based on belittling or mocking me I can and will go Cain on ur ass#‘OOoOhH BuT He’SJuST MeSsINg ArOuND’ yeah and I can put him in the ground. bitch#‘awww but it’s a sign of his affection!!!!’ also gives very BoYs WiLL bE bOYs vibes and I want to fucking hit someone#Babbit vs stupid mf moon challenge. I win by default bc of pure feral rage and years worth of stifled violence#I’m in a mood today sorry#Babbit lore#aka small things abt my life#I’m the youngest of four and hav three older brothers!#yes it sucked. yes we did get along 80% of the time#anyway if u ever wonder why I’m so paranoid abt ppl mocking me to my face or behind my back abt my interests. now u know#hits face on floor repeatedly#silly fluff#silly bullshit#bones of a rabbit fnaf#bones of a rabbit
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hi!!!! kicks my feet id like to see ur wiwi first death thoughts pls
- @suckinitup
MY BELOVED MUTUAL SUCKINITUP HOW ARE YOU. HEAD IN HANDS. I LOVE WILLIAM WISP. FUCK. i think abt him constantly but i almost never write down my thoughts because if i think abt him for too long i make myself sick. like fr. i love him too much. ouuguhghhg going to just straight copy paste this under a cut because it is SO LONG sorry for any typos or sentences that sound weird out of context bc these were originally discord messages:
ohhhhhhh wiwi first death. god . i have so many fucking emotions about wiwi first death. before i get into this im going to say fork found in kitchen to myself because so much of how i view wiwi comes from a VERY SPECIFIC type of dp fanon that it would take me 12 years to actually explain in detail so im gonna say just trust me and understand that william wisp is literally just a fuckign. walmart rebrand of a type of danny characterization i really wish people would just oc-ify (thank you charlie slimecicle for doing this for me)
okayyyyyy okay okay okay. i love there being like. a STARK fucking difference between william before the fall and william after the fall. william before the fall was so much... brighter. in every sense of the word. he looks ALIVE because he is! hes just a . regular fuckign 16 yr old boy. that weird kid in your math class. and yeah he has . suuuuper undiagnosed untreated depression but like its a small rural town thats normal i think. hes got his little group of friends to spend hours with going on cool hikes and reading about the paranormal at the library and sitting in circles talking about conspiracy theories and things. i think UPP is. awesome. i hesitate to get too attached to them in headcanon world just because i dont want bizly to then introduce us to them in s3 and i have to reframe my whole mindset . whatever. i have vague ideas of who they are but the important bit is like. i just think theyre really good friends. and they spend a lot of time together. and william is kind of their defacto leader because... he is the only one of them who actually has truesight. they all believe in ghosts and monsters and stuff but william is the only one who can actually SEE THEM. like. constantly. and thats a lot. and even though they believe him they dont really like.... understand. which kind of makes william feel disconnected from basically everyone around him at all times. i dont think truesight is probably a well-known thing?? so when he was little and started crying to his parents about monsters they thought he just had bad night terrors and then he just................. hes 16 now and still talks about it (less so now, hes learned the horrors of middle- and hihg-school Shame and not to be Super Weird All The Time) so its more like. hmm theres something Wrong here but we dont know what and we dont know how to help. other people (you included ros) have said this better than me but goddddd you knowww the dynamic btwn william and his parents is rough. they love him! so much! and they want to support him! and william loves them too! but they dont GET IT they dont UNDERSTAND and its like. you know what i mean. when you get a mental health diagnosis and suddently everyone is treating you like youre made of glass and nobody really knows what to say around you anymore or whatever. you know what i mean. that.
ANYWAY ALL THIS IS FUCKING. PREAMBLE. GOD. the fall. man. i think there is a STRICT UPP rule of "dont go into the whispering woods alone" and thats the case for the ENTIRETY of their friendship. DONT go into the woods alone. william knows exactly what kind of shit lives in the woods and he knows hes the only one that can reliably see them and he doesnt want anyone to get hurt. MINIMUM of two members for whispering woods investigations. (this is not a town rule or anything. i think the adults of deadwood are aware that its a weird place but it all gets brushed off like . aha everywhere has quirks! and the UPP are like. the conspiracy kids that know the Real Stuff going on. very..... house of anubis is the closest Real Media vibe i can think of rn. UPP pre-fall is like the closest u will get to . scooby doo style monster of the week shenanigans that arent really super serious because theyre safe as they can be about it! bunch of kids doing a ouija board. you know how it is)
uhhhhhhh and then william starts acting weird! i think all of them are on a whispering woods investigation together and theyre all walking together and then william starts lagging behind, staring out at something none of them can see, kind of like. zoned out. tranfixed. and when theyre like "will what do you see?" he shakes his head and snaps out of it like. huh? what? nothing lets keep walking. (it was a wisp btw. obviously) and there are a couple more incidents of him doing this same thing on that one hike until eventually they decide to call it because theyre not finding anything else and tbh william youre kind of freaking us out here. will you be okay? and hes like yeah of course i will guys its nothing i swear. and then they all go home.
and thennnn without telling anyone a couple days later, william goes on a walk in the woods alone. he broke his OWN rule . on that hike he saw wisps and they were just too far away to see clearly off in the distance between the trees but he just Kept Seeing Them and the curiosity was just nagging and nagging away in his brain so much he had to know what they were (thats wisp magic babyyyy you know the mythology around them i dont need to explain that to you) . (and also there is a fair amount of. lack of self preservation because of the previously mentioned untreated unmanaged depression but if i start talking about that in detail i will overshare and also be soooooo emo forreal. know that that is an EXTREMELY important part of this decision but im also going with a little more of the teen mystery angle with this rn. bloody gory mental illness is for after he falls) so he packed his monster investigation backpack and he just. left. didnt even tell his parents he was going he just walked out of the house after school and went into the woods. and he saw the wisps again, but now that he was alone they were Closer and Brighter and they would move whenever he got close and then there was a trail of them ! like they were Leading him somewhere
and i think with some of the monsters he sees he can feel whetehr or not theyre out to hurt him . and the wisps dont feel like that. they feel... well. cold,becaue theyre ghosts, but also warm at the same time? inviting. they dont want to hurt him (they do) they just want to show him something and william "too curious for his own good" wisp wants to know what that thing is! i think he knows the woods really really well because he spends a lot of time out there. so somewhere far away in the back of his mind he kind of knows what theyre leading him toward. but he still jsut Has To Know, so he keeps jogging, keeps hopping over fallen logs and around low branches and theres always a little blue flame juuuuust out of reach so he keeps going . and then he gets to the cliff. its like a full on. burst out of the trees there is a wisp juuuust on the edge where the ground falls away. i think he trips on a root and falls flat on his stomach before he can completely just run off. it gives him a second to catch his breath, to look out and See where he is. for things to kind of come crashing down on him. if he hadnt tripped he wouldve run right off the edge and fallen and it was close enough of a near death experience for it to scare him. but the wisp is still there, and its the biggest brightest one hes seen yet and if he looks around he would see it looks like the entire forest behind him is glowing with tiny blue fires like theyre all watching him. i dont think hes really. thinking coherent thoughts at this point he just kind of. realizes now that hes out here he doesnt really want to go home. he doesnt want to go back to school, doesnt want to eat lunch in the bathroom and think about his brothers empty bedroom across the hall and have his parents look at him with such a weird mix of love and awkward pity and he knows his friends say they believe him but he can see it in their eyes sometimes that the things he says scares them and he really just has been a freak his whole life.... and he realizes as hes thinking all of this he's gotten to his feet and walked toward the wisp on the edge of the cliff. and hes just standing there feet on the very edge staring at it. its floated away now, hanging over the drop at eye level with him but its probably still close enough he could just... reach out.... and try to grab it...... and his feet slip on the rocks and JUST as he closes his hand around the wisp it almost feels like something pushes him (probably just the wind.. right?) and he falls.
he does Not remember hitting the bottom thank god. he remembers falling, and falling, and in the fall he realized he was still holding the wisp he grabbed in his hand and so he pulled it close to his chest as he fell and it almost felt like it was burning him but it was *cold* and .. then he woke up! he woke up in a misty foggy field in what looked to be the middle of the night but if he looks at the sky too long it looks *weird* its just black and empty and there are weird bluish swirls in it that could be clouds but look different, and there are trees in the distance but whenever he tries to walk toward them it feels like theyre moving the same distance away so it never really feels like hes getting anywhere.. and he trips over what he thinks is a rock and lands in the foggy grass and looks behind him and realizes *oh my god thats a gravestone-* and then he wakes up again, for real this time !!! (<< that scene is like. thats His Island. thats his lair or whatever. remember when mal first took him to the spirit world and they were in the graveyard and mal told him that was his. im going with dp style spirit world lairs and this one is williams. hear me out)
aaand. when he wakes up for real. he is at. the bottom of the cliff. EVERYTHING hurts. everything hurts so fucking badly but also everything is like... weirdly numb? and he doesnt really remember that weird dream with the fog and the trees and the grave its all kind of fading as he wakes up more and more and ... his hands are empty hes not holding the wisp anymore. he doesnt know how much time has passed. was any of that even real or did he just have some kind of nervous breakdown and jump off a fuckign cliff? i think he fucking sits there and cries about it for a loooooong time. and everythihng hurts but its gonna start getting dark soon he NEEDS to go home before it gets dark, his parents will start to worry about him and he doesnt want to do that to them. also he might need to get to a hospital or something but hey! he can move! he can stand up and walk! so he must not have any broken bones or anything he just. is bruised and sore probably. and so he. sooooo slowly. so slowly. makes his way back up the cliff (theres. a path. he doesnt have to climb i promise) and back home. alone. no wisps or anything, just william alone with his thoughts. which is . goddd its bad. thats why it takes him so long. ohhh my god what am i even gonna fucking say when i get there. hi mom and dad sorry i needed to clear my head and follow some weird ghosts and in the process i tried to kill myself and it didnt work? fuck?
so by the time he gets home... huh. the door is locked thats weird. its not fully dark yet and his parents know he stays out late with his friends a lot of the time so they usually leave the door unlocked for him. so he knocks. and his mom answers the door and takes one look at him and just fucking breaks down into tears. and so his dad comes in from around the corner to see whats going on and he starts crying too. and william is so. freaked out by this. guys whats wrong what happened. turns out he has been missing for. two weeks. nobody knew where he was or what happened and the woods are alive and weird and anyone who went out in a search part just ended up getting lost themselves and came back like an hour later with nothing. they thought he was dead. (which. i mean. he was. but like. not in the way they thought). so theres this big huge emotional family group hug or whatever with william all dirty with leaves and twigs in his hair and torn clothes and mud on his hands and feet and his mom and dad are just like oh thank god youre alive thank god youre home what happened to you and... man. euguhhhhahghhhh. emo. sorry. god. head in hands .
i thiiink. he kind of ends up telling them what happened. he leaves out the wisps though. his watered down version is.. i just needed to clear my head, i went out into the woods, i got lost, i tripped and fell. (remember how william downplays it for dakota when he asks. i tripped and fell) he doesnt tell them about the wisps but like. that almost makes it worse becuase they KNOW about his bad mental health even if they dont fully understand it and.... this version makes it sound suspiciously way more like it was just a direct suicide attempt. which. william IMMEDIATELY regrets as soon as it leaves his mouth. but thats his story now. so everything kind of... goes back to normal? normal ish??? as nrmal as they can i fucking guess?? for a couple days and he has to go back to school and. god it fucking sucks. gossip . you know how it is. hey that kid tried to kill himself and got lost in the woods for two weeks what a weirdo he freaks everyone out . that kind of stuff. so hes more isolated than EVER and even his friends wont really talk to him although theyre more... sad. than anything else. they just dont really know what to say. theyre teenagers. idk. uhhhhhh then one day he reallyreallly REALLY doesnt want to be somewhere so he hides in the bathroom and.. doesnt realize it at first but he goes invisible. and its not until a couple other kids come in and leave and dont acknowledge him at all that he notices something is weird (he feels bone chillignly cold but like. its a shitty old school building in the very beginnings of winter of course its gonna be cold) and he looks in the mirror and realizes he cant see himself. and after that more and more of his powers kind of. slowly manifest? and he is VERY bad at controlling them and he plans not to tell anyone at first (hes already enough of a freak) until one day his dad finds him like. halfway through the floor in his bedroom and its this . kind of funny ridicuous but also really scary moment. and william has a realization at some point like. oh. i think i *died*. and auughhghg. i think thats all i ahve for now. but . man. when i tell you i think about this soo fucking much man.
#AND THIS ISNT EVEN GETTING INTO DETAIL. man. ive wanted to write a fic about this for AGES but i genuinely dont think i can because it#like srsly makes me really fucking emotional to talk abt him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i dont know why. wiwi brain#heads in hands#hiiiiiiii suck. im so sorry thats become your nickname but its also rlly funny. lmk if u have a better one.#anyway hows the mark jar has he gotten his bugs yet today#asks#jrwi pd#suckinitup
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Had a surge of inspiration so enjoy Mineyo’s Completed Timeline!
Tag list (ask to be added or removed): @carrionsflower @statichvm @risingsh0t @simonxriley @tommyarashikage @kanos @confidentandgood @unholymilf @florbelles @thedeadthree @shellibisshe @roofgeese @aezyrraeshh @faerune @tekehu @jackiesarch @minaharkers @sergeiravenov @carlosoliveiraa @rosenfey @greenecreek @queennymeria @heroofpenamstan @alexxmason @tethrras @jamessunderlandgf @a-treides @solasan @bigbywlf @delzinrowe @fenharel @imogenkol
#oc: mineyo ginnivan#jess talks#personal*#im so bad at writing it’s unreal#the fact I’ve only finished 3 of these proves that lmao#I wish I had more time today cus I would work on asamis too#considering MHA has officially ended#oh FUCK IVE GOT TO UPDATE RINS TOO😭#fuckkkkk fuck fuckedy fuck#welp that’s a problem for another day#not making any decisions until I’ve read the last chapters anyway#I stopped just before bakugo died cus I couldn’t handle it#so now that I can read it in bulk I should be okay#ANYWAY#bby Mineyo has been sitting in my notes for just as long#and I really wanted to get her all sorted#so here she is!#yknow writing for one of my non trauma ocs (which isn’t many) is gonna be so boring#the drama is so fun to write#even if I suck#anywho I hope you like it!!
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my sweet little baby man is no longer with us
#he had his bloodwork done yesterday and the vet said it was fine but he doesnt have much time left#and my bestie is a vet tech who wanted to see the lab results bc she always does and she looked at them#and asked me if she can shiw them to her boss today and i was like sure and immediately knew something was up#today keekki was being himself#then i went to run some errands and when i came back he was laying in front of the front door with his tiny baby head against it#and i was like ''oh ok one of his seizures?''#and theyre like. keekki will drool and not move and they usually last for like 20 minutes (several vets have no idea whats up with those#but it was probably either a kidney or a blood pressure thing)#anyways. it did not pass in 20 minutes so i Knew#i laid on the floor next to him#then my bff sent me a message asking me if i have the time to talk about keekki and its not good news#at this point i was about to call the vet anyways#and she was like ''ok i showed these to my boss (a vet) and she got super angry that ur vet even let you leave the clinic''#bc apparently keekkis bloodwork was so bad he should have been put down then and there but my vet was like a fresh half graduate#so i dont hold it against her. anyways i got an euthanasia appointment for this evening and spent the time before it laying on the couch#crying with keekki in my arms#i had to carry him bc he couldnt really walk without stumbling and falling down#when i had to get up to get his carrier and stuff ready he was taking a nap on the couch where i left him and i took this pic#anyways worst vet visit of my life i could hardly even do anything but nod half the time bc speaking results in me sobbing#anyways. this fucking sucks#i dont know how ill be able to sleep tonight#its been years since i last slept at home without having a little guy plop into my arms#i spent a long time with him in the vet room when he was gone#it feels surreal ive given him his last ever forehead kisses#as i left the room i told him bye the exact same way ive been saying bye to him for the last very many years ive had him#its always moikka keekki before i go to work or the store or literally anything#and that was my last moikka keekki#i hope he felt how loved he was#my dad is sending me older pics of me and keekki and he looks so happy in them. hes always right next to me#idk man im going to stop rambling now
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paige either has cancer or is in advanced stages of heart failure. tomorrow they're gonna drain the fluid out of her abdomen, and her blood work will be back tomorrow so we can get a better idea if its one or the other. of course i knew this day would come, but it still hurts to be dealing with this.
#ive been sick and missed work mon and today and now i wish i sucked it up and went to work so i could take tomorrow off#but im gonna choose to look at it like i was taking care of me AND paige#anyway im dropping her off and then going right to work lets see if i can make it or not lol#also sucks that i am going to have to pay back my mom so much money now#i just wish i had the fucking money man#not that that would help paige#but whatever#haile talks#paige updates
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[Image ID: A digital inked drawing of Digimon character TigerVespamon. They are a wasp themed humanoid robot, with a round head with large bug like eyes, a pointed bug like mouth, and pointed V shaped horns protruding from their forehead. They are wearing a ragged scarf. They have large shoulder pads, a triangular chest, small waist, and pointed thorax with a stinger attached. They have four skinny wings in the back and segmented limbs, with sharp pointed feet, panels protruding from each thigh and front of the calf, and long pipes coming from their upper arms. Throughout the design there are many areas such as the neck, underarms and lower legs that expose mechanical features, such as sockets and more pipes. They are in a three quarters action pose, holding two large swords, their right leg bent in on itself behind whilst the left leg is fully displayed. One sword is held above their head, and the other is held just above the left leg. Both are pointed towards the viewer. /End Image ID]
Buzz buzz
#digimon#digimon fanart#digital monsters#digisafe#tigervespamon#tiger vespamon#dinu yells into the void#dinu yells in the void#dinu's sketchy art#i know the swords aren’t accurate to the canon tiger swords but i was having sooo much trouble w them + general arms#so i changed them to fit better the reference i was using SUE ME!!!#anyways. tried smth a lil diff with lineart today too#idc what anyone says ever colouring sucks fucking shit INKING FOREVER BABY!!!!!!#i love you inking mwah mwah mwah#i meant to do this so much forever ago like after the amphimon drawing but then uhm. the horrors of life got in the way.#but I finally had time and motivation to just. fucking go at it today. happy pride this bug mech is a lesbian. good bye now
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some of you know that my dog, mason, has had cancer for about a year and a half. and while he's slowly but surely been declining in that time, he's really been doing pretty well. but in this last month, it's started becoming more and more apparent that I don't know how much longer he'll be here. idk what my point is other than, I'm sad I guess. He had a bad night last night & I'm sad.
#cried a million tears last night that was so fun#he's been okay so far today#and by okay i mean just okay#not good but not bad either#but all of this fucking sucks#i also don't share him much bc i used to get random hate anons about him when i did??#which was not only super weird but i don't wanna deal with that shit#anyway i think i'm gonna disappear today#bex.text
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Sparkstember Day 28: The Sparks Brothers
I'm not a movie person... So when I do actually rewatch a movie (I mean, even watch it, at ALL, haha) it must really mean that something is up. I mean, well, it also IS a thorough, highly enjoyable and visually appealing movie about a band that I've been so incredibly invested in for the past several months. So maybe it's a surprise that I don't watch it more often actually. Because one beautiful side-effect of seeing it each time was getting an unexpected and very strong surge of motivation to keep on going towards the things that matter to me the most, despite any and all obstacles that could appear on the way. Another side-effect of it is being happy and joyfull and being filled with warm feelings and thoughts for the whole following day at least. Usually up to 3 days afterwards actually.
But ok, of course, what I'm getting at is that the Maels' story is so incredibly inspirational. Seeing how they persevered through all those years and NEVER lost their spirit or their vision, never gave up... is not only moving but also something that reminds me that wow, so much *really* is possible. I spent so many years fully convinced that there are things that I'll never be able to achieve. And sure, some of them are indeed pretty unlikely to happen. But if you told me from even one year ago that I'd be making art daily and not dreading being so much as perceived anywhere in the great world (so, including the internet)... well, I would have not believed it at all. I really mean it when I say that I used to believe that there are things that I'll just never be able to do. It's like it was simply not meant for me to be able do it and have those experiences. And yet...!
There's a lot I owe Sparks and this is one of the biggest things I'll always be grateful for. They really changed my life for the better. Truly nothing else before them reaches the same degree of how much it helped me. And well, I'm saying this on TSB day because this is where this feeling of gratitude and feeling SO lucky becomes the strongest. And the beautiful thing about it all is that they were always just themselves. They had their vision, they knew what they wanted to do and didn't care about how it would be received. Which is such an important and meaningful message to me, I can't even express how huge it is to me to see these two people who only really had themselves and their endurance and got exactly where they wanted to be.
Alright, some less grandiose observations now. Well, let's start with the fact that this was by no means my introduction to Sparks but it still really cemented my love for them even more. I loved being reminded of their whole journey and learning more about it, and even moreso I loved being able to see more of their beautiful brotherly bond and their wonderful personalities. Truly no other people in this whole world make me as happy as them currently. And the brothers' sense of humour hits super close to mine, so this is also a time filled with genuine laughs (I die laughing at the absolutely true Sparks facts at the end EVERY TIME). And since I'm a huge fan of animation and mixed media art and such things, this was simply a joy to view for my more artistically-inclined side too.
And damn, those two hours and 15 minutes really fly by so fast. When I have to arrange a huge timeslot to watch it all in one go, because that's the only way to do it for me, and then it feels like no time has passed anyway. And even with so much being said there, it feels like there's still so much more to get to. But it's still enough to lift my spirits completely for a pretty long time. And to make me cry a lot of the time too... Absolutely impossible to not shed a tear by the end of it all. It's moving, it's funny as heck, it's super fun and it's absolutely beautiful and truly lifechanging. 💖
#once again had no inspiration to write for hours. but at least i managed to finish it before midnight#(this was supposed to be short btw)#and anyway i guess that this is the point when i can't help but get even more personal than usual#but fuck it we post anyway. i wouldn't let myself just not post so far into the month#maybe someone else can relate or someone can also gain hope that yes there are goals that you really can reach actually#if you really want it you know. i know it's easy to think that it all sucks and leads you nowhere. that's how it USUALLY feels to me anyway#but there are at least those moments when i can finally realize that man i've come so far#like. for real. it's true. i actually did the thing!!!!! you know#but uh well. not entirely happy with this post as usual but this is the best i could come up with today#well it's such a good thing that i can actually think and talk about sparks literally always#so this doesn't have to be some kind of final statement about it all from me. yay!#and yeah as i said the maels' bond is very touching to me so i had to highligh it a bit today#so have some good-spirited big brother bullying lol. and wow making it look like an old photograph was actually not that hard#but the poses WERE a struggle to get right i'll admit#and now just to find something more in me to say still on latte day and on the final day...#sparkstember 2024#my art#goose monologues
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TW eye contact and swearing
Was watching a Terrible French series for my sister when I came across this banger scene and it just screamed THEM
Transcript under the cut !!
Clive : I'm not going to kill you for what you did to me or because you are and always will be a terrible prime minister. No, you are going to die because of Léonie Renond.
Bill Hawks : ... Who ? (Disappointed voter maybe ?)
Clive, listing the names of some of the explosion's victims : Léonie Renond. Renaud Mastri. Louise Berne.
Bill Hawks, off screen : Wait, hold on- I don't understand-
Clive, leaning in : OF COURSE you don't understand, you don't give a FLYING FUCK about any of this you son of a bitch !!!
#DRAWING FROM TODAY !!!! I'm finally drawing again guys I want to cry this is so wonky but I did it this stupid ass series inspired me!!#This series is sooooo bad and my favorite character (the Clive guy) is going away so rip#But this scene cracked me up and still does omg- it was SO uncalled for ???#'Wait- I swear I don't understand 🥺'#'Of fucking course you don't you stupid bitch -_-' HELP.#Oh if any of my French followers know which series this is no you don't. You are forgetting. You forgot#(Luckily there is practically no fandom. Literally one guy fending for himself. Bless his soul but I am NOT joining him this show sucks)#Anyway this scene takes place while Clive is trapping Hawks in the mobile fortress#In my head Clive told everyone to let him do it himself so he could taunt Bill/insult him lol#clive dove#Bill hawks#unwound future spoilers#lost future spoilers#(Just tagging the spoilers because this is removed from the game but not enough)#My art#TW : swearing#TW : eye contact
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im going into my new work tomorrow, first time ever😐
#i was supposed to go in yesterday but um#so basically i did whatever training i was never even aware existed on a platform i was never told of#which has progress for every lil step i do so my manager literally could see i hadnt even logged on n couldve warned me any time#but never did 4 some reason. like even a days notice like heyyy have u gotta blah done n not as im abt to exit to work#BUT ANYWAYS so i tell her i got it done n shes like awesome i make new schedule (since she said we have 2 completely rid the old one#i dont get an update until 4 days later. all she did was add THREE training days (im supposed to have 6 cus it's a hard job)#on TOP of my old schedule. so i have 3 days i know are training days and then a solo day bcs that solo day was going off my old schedule#so it's like. which days do i go on then. bcs u said i cant come in at all bcs we'll have to make a completely new schedule#and then the new schedule is just. 3 added days. on top of my old one#sunday i was scheduled for training & there was No trainer scheduled with me. it was just me#sunday wasnt one of the 3 new days added. it was from the old schedule she literally told me to ignore#n then all a sudden today i get an email from someone who was supposed to be training me (name not even on the schedule tho)#n shes like hey im in the building are u lost or smthing :)?' mind u im asleep . so she probably thot she was wasting her time for a good hr#i emailed her an apology n an explanation but UGH r u fucking serious?? IF I KNEW THAT WAS A (NEW) TRAINING DAY I WOULDVE WENT#I JUST WANT TO GET USED TO THIS NEW THING & IT'S JUST GETTING FUCKED LIKE I DONT EVEN HAVE A BADGE YET BRO#like i was suspicious of going in sunday bcs it wouldve lined up nicely with the 3 added training days#but manager TOLD me she was adding a whole new training schedule! i double check n all she added were THREE days! thats it!#how was *i* supposed to know sunday was supposed to be 1 of those days when ive been staying at home ignoring the schedule u said 2#BCS U SAID 2. AND ALSO. THERE WAS NO TRAINER ON THE SCHEDULE.#even tho the drive is far. i wouldve driven up there today to see if i could shadow if i had known there was someone to shadow there#bcs even if i was wrong abt the day 2 come in at least i wouldnt waste my time but i didnt even know if there was someone there with a#trainer title. so i just missed a day i didnt even know i rlly had. FOR NOTHING. UGHH. I FEEL SO STUPID. I HATE MISCOMMUNICATION#im so scared of coming in now. sverybodys gonna think im dum n what if i have issues training then theyre gonna be like#we spent all this time on bro n he had all this time 2 prepare n he still sucks like damn we should just give up#i would 2 but i hate not seeing things to completion so. ugh. hate it here. idk what 2 say. EMBARRASSING#i hate miscommunications i hate feeling stupid
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Daylight saving another tool used by the capitalists to keep us disoriented and confused
#you guys I think I might die today#I have a 5 hour job interview (they’re just that long now)#I think I’ll be fine because im overqualified what sucks is that im not. excited about this job in the least#I just need to leave my current team I hate it and I think they’re about to fire a bunch of people#and they will be fucked without me because they heaped a lot of work on me and the. just assumed I’d take it lol#and it’s the same fuck ass corporation just a different team 🔫I wish I could leave the corp but I’ve gotten nothing but rejections from out#anyway so after that I have to sit and stew in the anxiety of elections#I already voted absentee I am too scared to go to the polls#but I’ve been so anxious about the election#I keep thinking about my kid and feeling guilty#like what will her future look like if he wins#what will we do#idk so basically all this is combining to kill me via heart attack or something lol!!! maybe this will be my last post and I’ll just#drop dead at some point haha!!#I have to go look at a picture of Thanatos immediately to calm down#god just let me get thru this week I’ll pray whatever
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