#i hate only posting one thing but. i feel like accumulating things in genres to post en-mass

[silverware-is-interesting]

i walked past this store in a mall today called fossil that had like. watches n jewlery n purses or something and i thought of. fossil objectified so i drew that.

idk how this kinda looks decent tbh this is only like my 3rd time drawing them. like, its not great, but you can tell it's her, so, i call that pretty good :P

[nevernonline]

✧.* grow as we go; svt smau.

entry #04 the fall of the empire.

synopsis: over the past ten years you've fallen in love many times. one day someone happens to stumble across your journal sitting out on your nightstand and started posting your entries online. after all of your secrets are leaked it's clear things would ever be the same again.

𐦍 paring: svt members x afab! reader.

𐦍 feat: non-idol! svt, (g)-idle minnie&soyeon, oc's

𐦍 genre/s: reader is super angsty low-key, fluffy, sexual themes.

𐦍 content: swearing, bullying, crazy ex's, mentions of sexual relations, some drinking& mary jane 🍃

𐦍 word count: 1.9k

masterlist ▸ 003. two robots fell in love. ▸ 04.5 plan b?

Throwing your phone onto your couch, you let out the biggest sigh your body could manage to put out.

How did things manage to get so out of hand so quickly?

First Joshua and now Minnie, maybe karma really had it out for you this time.

In need of a distraction you started cleaning your apartment, scrubbing off any scuffs and dirt that accumulated from your past. It was something you wished you could do in your personal life, just scrub out all of the bad shit and only move forward.

After spending hours cleaning out the grout from the shower and throwing away old memories from your past in fear that they'd come back to haunt you, a knock came on the front door.

You almost pretended to not hear it, just hoping that whoever decided to show their face to you would just save themselves and walk away, but the knocking persisted.

"Look, I don't really feel like- Oh my god, Seokmin."

His puppy dog eyes stared at you as a greeting and his long arms held a basket full of your favorite things, homemade lemonade, popcorn, cherry sour straws, and even a small stuffed animal.

"Sorry, I tried to text you but you hadn't replied and I got worried. I can just drop this off and let you be alone."

"No, please stay. Thank you for coming over, I just didn't feel like answering my phone anymore."

"Have people been talking about the twitter?"

"Yeah, I got about a thousand text messages from everyone, none that I've opened. Joshua, Jeonghan, Mingyu.. I mean it's fucking insane."

"Well, we can both ignore our phones and watch some rom-coms? I even brought a bag full of mini alcohol bottles and stuff to bake brownies."

Seokmin sniffed the air as he removed his coat and sneakers, stepping into your apartment.

"Stress cleaning?"

"Yeah, I just felt like washing away bad energy."

"Don't worry, I showered before I came."

"Shut up."

Seokmin took it upon himself to pre-heat your oven and get started mixing the ingredients for the chocolate mixture. Trying to find a way to ask you about how you felt, but not wanting to pry.

"Look, we can talk about it, Seok. It's okay."

"No, I just feel bad. I mean everything you wrote is private, you're not entitled to have anyone know your dirty secrets and it's just not fair."

"That's exactly what, Minghao texted me. I think I'm over trying to find out who did it, like maybe if I don't add fuel to the fire and act like it doesn't bother me. I can forget about it. It can't get much worse than it already is."

"Don't let Minnie bother you, y/n. She's just upset, it'll blow over."

"I guess."

Passing time with Seokmin felt like exactly what you needed, he was able to take your mind off of anything negative that was going on, part of his basket you didn't see were the set of matching pajamas with both of your favorite Sanrio characters embroidered on the front. He told you he was saving them for a special day, but today was the perfect time to bring them.

Now with warm brownies made and Seokmin's famous lemonade you sit cuddled on your couch, watching the intro to 10 things I hate about you plastered on the big LED screen.

Your phone buzzed on the table, waking you from being zoned out. a name flashed on the screen, one that wasn't a threat to how happy you've felt the past few hours, Minghao.

"Seok, is it okay that I invited someone?"

"Oh, who is it?"

"Well, Minghao texted me and wanted to hangout. I don't feel like I should shut him out just because of what happened."

"Are you going to tell him to call his dogs off?"

"Yeah, I think I will at least for now."

"Minghao's always been nice, he'll understand."

"I hope so."

After another half hour of watching Kat fall in love with Patrick on your screen and singing along with Seokmin to the movie soundtrack a knock came from your front door.

Unwrapping yourself from the warmth of your friend, you crawled off the couch wrapped in a blanket and ran to answer it.

"I thought I told you not to wear something nice?"

Minghao was dressed in a cozy pair of cargo sweats and a big hoodie, carrying a larger than normal leather tote bag.

"Well, I wasn't about to show up in my boxers. I like your pajamas though."

"Thank you, Seokmin brought them for me. We got matching ones, sort of silly I know. You may laugh."

"No, they look cute. I brought you guys some snacks and wine as a sorry for intruding."

Seokmin's loud voice cheered from your couch.

"Wow, Minghao. If someone doesn't snatch you up soon I might have to. Hi, by the way."

Minghao took your previous spot on the couch, next to Seokmin getting him with a cute handshake.

"How is everything guys?"

"Well, good now. Y/N had sort of a rough morning."

"Yeah, I saw the posts. Did something happen?"

"Well, Minnie freaked out on me of course and I told her to move out. So, I had just been cleaning before Seok came and rescued me."

"Oh, wow. I'm sorry."

"It's alright. It happens I guess."

Seokmin forced Minghao to let you sit in between the middle of them after noticing you searching around the room for the best place to sit.

"Come on, loser."

Your butt found its perfect missing piece sitting between two of your friends both new and old.

"Should we watch Twilight? Minghao's never seen them."

"You've never seen Twilight? What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Minghao's eyes opened wider than you had ever seen them, probably embarrassed that the two of you made this little moment about him.

"Stop acting like that's the weirdest thing ever? You guys are crazy."

"Oh my god, you're going to love this Hao."

Seokmin queued up the movie, watching the title sequence splash across the screen as you watched Minghao experience the blue toned film for the first time, catching glimpses at him at all of your favorite parts.

After the movie ended Seokmin was sleeping up against your side, cutely snoring. You tried to subtly remove yourself from him without scaring the daylights out of the by, you woke him up, Minghao was already up and next to your side helping you move the sleeping puppy into your bedroom, so he could get a good nights sleep.

"Thank you."

"I should, get going."

"Oh no, stay here. You can either stay on the couch or you can take Minnie's room, I changed the sheets already."

"What about you?"

"Oh, I'll probably stay up for a while, I have some shit to take care of."

"Are you sure, I'm not intruding?"

"No, shut up. It's late and raining stay here."

"Okay, I'll stay wherever. Thank you."

"No please, stay in the extra room. It's more comfy."

"I think you should, the couch is nice and warm anyway. I like the fireplace."

With a nod you grabbed Minghao a few pillows and an extra toothbrush and snuck away to the room that used to belong to Minnie, packing away her stuff as a final gesture to someone you used to call your best friend.

Minghao, walked through the closed doorway to find you sitting on your wooden floor, tears drying up on your cheeks, looking at photos of your friends.

He placed the two glasses of red wine, beside you and bent to sit criss cross adjacent to you.

"Sorry I woke you up."

"No, you didn't actually. I was just reading on my phone, I usually go to bed pretty late."

"Oh, okay. This is pathetic isn't it?"

"What? Being upset? No, it isn't."

"No, just me, crying over this. I mean I made most of this mess in the first place and here I am crying over people I hurt no matter how badly they hurt me before. I mean, seeing Mingyu and Minnie hanging out, Joshua and Mimi, I just like am making myself a victim when I'm also to blame."

"Y/n, you are a victim in this too. It maybe doesn't feel like it, but just because you hurt someone doesn't mean they get to hurt you back."

"I guess."

"Does Minnie and Mingyu being alone together bug you?"

"No, she's right as much as I hate to admit it. It can't bother me they're friends too, I guess I just didn't see that coming.

Minghao pics up a polaroid photo of you and Joshua wearing matching college sweatshirts, dated September 15.

"Was this your first day of classes?"

Your laugh came after a couple of sniffles, admiring the smiling pair in the photos.

"Yeah, our mom's were best friends growing up and naturally so were we. We got accepted into the same university, so our first day they took far too many pictures of us. I wonder why Minnie has it?"

"Maybe, by mistake?"

"Yeah, maybe. I normally keep all my pictures in a box under my bed."

Something in your gut was telling you that Minnie having that picture of you in her room wasn't by mistake, but you chose to shove it down continuing your trip down memory lane with Minghao.

"Oh my god."

Minghao held up a picture of you, you were standing with Minnie at a halloween party outside with drinks in hand, dressed up as sexy bottles of ketchup and mustard.

"No, that's so embarrassing throw it away."

You tried to grab the picture out of Minghao's grip as he was sprawled across the floor giggling over you dressed up with a red cone on your head.

"I didn't think Ketchup could be so sexy, y/n."

"Shut up, that's awful. I don't even remember that. I look so stupid."

"No you look nice, actually very original for the sexy girl costume trope."

"Ha- Ha, very funny."

Minghao handed you your glass of wine, laughter now dying out as you sat in silence surrounded by polaroids of your past.

"Can I tell you something, y/n?"

"Yeah, always."

"Well, I found out where the first tweet was posted from, not me actually, Wonwoo. It came from your wifi network, so whoever posted it was in your apartment that first night."

A pit came to your gut, the same apartment you were in now, the walls suddenly looked darker and you decided on chugging the alcohol in front of you.

"Do you know anything else?"

"No, just that the network assigned was yours."

"Can we maybe, stop sleuthing just for awhile? I don't know what to do anymore. I'm really thankful you guys wanted to help me, I just, I get a feeling there's more to this that I don't know or even want to find out right now."

Minghao just shook his head, holding up the bottle of wine asking you if you needed more, which of course you obliged.

"Want to watch something with me?"

"More twilight?"

"No, not more twilight. Seokmin wouldn't be happy to miss that. Maybe, Princess Diaries?"

"I love that movie."

"Me too, come on."

You crawled into the bed, tapping the covers asking him to sit next to you.

"Turn the light off, come on I don't bite."

"Can I confess something embarrassing? I used to think the brother in this movie was someone from the Beatles."

"Oh my god, me too. And that the mom from the parent trap was Princess Diana."

Minghao laughed, reliving a part of his childhood climbing into the bed next to you, afraid to get too close.

You on the other hand were as comfortable as ever, cuddling under the covers, clutching a pillow in your lap watching Anne Hathaway on screen.

By the time Mia was getting her makeover Minghao and you were sleeping peacefully side by side.

✧.* taglist: @sun-daddy-yoriichi,@hipsdofangirl @kissesfrmwonwoo, @minhui896, @wonwooz1, @porridgesblog, @punkhazardlaw, @jasssy051,

[inkareds]

Our Little Routines

Jason Todd

nav // dc m.list // ko-fi

✧.* word count: 1.2k

✧.* genre: fluff

✧.* warnings: nothing, reader does skincare/haircare

When the clock strikes at 10 pm two things start. The first is Jason and you start cleaning up the mess accumulated over the day; the second is the two of you start getting ready. 

this was so cute to write and was fully inspired by this post by @batfams-posts also I'm doing a rebrand w the colours, expect lots of changes lmao

When the clock strikes at 10 pm two things start. 

The first is Jason and you start cleaning up the mess accumulated over the day; the second is the two of you start getting ready. 

The only difference is that Jason gets ready for patrol, whilst you get ready for bed. 

There’s a comforting silence in the air as the two of you begin your little routine that you’ve found comfort in. A sense of normalcy before the seeds of worry and fear start in both your hearts. The only sound filling the apartment is the sound of clothes shuffling as the two of you change. 

You, to your comfortable pyjamas, and him, to his gear. 

Then as you move to your bathroom, Jason moves to a further room inside the apartment where he places his guns and ammo, far from the bedroom. Far from being seen by you, as he likes to tell you. He hates involving you in his line of work, even if that’s something as small as seeing the weapons he uses nightly. 

The sounds that follow afterwards are comical. From the bathroom connected to the bedroom, there’s the sound of running water as you wash your face. Not far out of the bedroom, in the living room, Jason has started checking, cleaning, and loading his guns. The machinery clicking and clacking against one another as he checks each barrel to make sure it doesn’t clog when he tries to shoot. 

You chuckle to yourself when you realise, something quiet enough that you don’t think Jason hears, though he does. 

“What are you laughing about there?” He calls with a grin, not that you could see with you now focused on the start of your skincare routine. 

“Nothing,” you smile to yourself in the mirror, knowing even if Jason couldn’t see it, he could hear it. 

In response, Jason puts down his gun and stands up from where he was sitting on the couch. You see him making his way over towards you from the bathroom mirror as you’re patting your skin. You smile at him from the mirror without looking back as he snakes his way into the bathroom and grasps your body for a hug from behind. 

He was fully armoured the same way as you were fully comfortable in your soft pyjamas. 

Once again, the juxtaposition causes you to chuckle. 

“There you go again,” he affectionately rolls his eyes, “Might need you to go to Arkham seeing as you’re going crazy, laughing at nothing and all.” He leans down to press a kiss on the top of your head. 

You shake your head and lightly nudge his stomach as you reach towards your moisturiser.

“I’m just thinking about how funny we look,” you state before your brows quirked at the feeling of your moisturiser container, “Have you been using this?” 

Your gaze returns back to Jason’s on the mirror, raising the moisturiser container to his guilty expression. 

“Nope.” He makes no effort to conceal his guilty smile. 

“Sure, and that’s why there’s only half left when I bought this last month.” You affectionately state before putting back the container and rubbing the product on your face. 

Jason watches your hands move around your face with expertise and smoothness. He remembers when he puts on your moisturiser there’s a sense of awkwardness to him. Sure, it does feel good, self-care and all that, but there’s a sense of awkwardness. As if his hands weren’t used to doing something so delicate that’s directed at him. 

But your fingers work the product easily into your skin, administering just the right amount to properly moisturise the skin without causing an uncomfortable cast atop it. When he realises you’ve finished he leans to smother his face in your neck before muttering. 

“I’ll buy you a new one when you run out.” Before letting you go to continue your routine.

You giggle and hum in appreciation, then reach to ruffle Jason’s hair, relishing in the cleanliness of it before he puts on the helmet and sweats through the night. Speaking of hair, the night was coming to the time when the two of you would have to deal with it. Jason stares at you for a little bit longer as you reach to get your hair oil, grinning to himself at how lucky he is for being able to be with someone like you. All before turning around and leaving the bathroom, of course not without slapping your ass. 

“Jason!” You yell out with no malice whatsoever, in response a loud laughter echoes through the apartment from him. 

When you start oiling and moisturising your hair, Jason is back in the living room looking through his helmet, making sure his communication line with Oracle is secure and nothing is awry with the helmet. When start styling your hair into a comfortable style for bed, he puts on his domino mask, and when you finally tie your hair, his red helmet is secured on his head. 

You make your way towards your bedroom, as he does. Though you reach for the bed and he reaches for the window. 

When you snuggle into the comfortable blankets and pillows, reaching towards your laptop for some entertainment before bed, he’s tightening his jacket around his body to ready for the cold night, and reaching towards the now opened window. 

But right before he leaves, you stare at him, a smile on your lips, one that brings out so much emotion and love through it. As much as you can muster, just in case that was the last time he’d see it. One that you give to him every night, no matter if the two of you just had a fight or not, it didn’t matter. You wanted him to see you smiling and full of love for him right before his patrol, just in case. 

And he can’t take it, can’t take how amazing you look, comfortable snuggled into your shared bed, body completely moisturised and smelling of your favourite lotion, hair done up ready to look incredible in the morning. He just had to quickly take off his helmet and reach towards you. You respond in equal longing. 

Reaching over towards him as your lips encase one another, bringing your hands around the back of his neck, pulling his body close to yours. Though he’s careful not to collapse onto the bed, for a plethora of reasons. The first is that if he does he doesn’t think he’d have it in him to leave for the night and the second is how dirty his patrol clothes actually are. 

When the two of you pull away, your hands lightly play with the hairs at the back of his neck as you both look at each other with so much love and adoration in your eyes. You were the first to break the silence. 

“Come back home safe to me, Jay.” 

And he answers with a smile.  

“Always.” 

And then he jumps into the night, letting the light of the moon and city stars cover him. As you jump back into the bed, letting the bed and silence cover you.

As always, if you like my work, do consider tipping me on Ko-Fi!

This was so fun to write! Also as I said in the beginning, I am doing a small rework of my blog cause currently I'm just not vibing with the brown/light academia cafe aesthetic. I won't be doing it all at once (as I'm slightly busy rn) but small things will change here and there! But I am trying to get out of my writing slump.

[writingmochi]

! "untitled #3: writer's edition" tag game !

credits to that anon who gave an ask on @/fairyofshampgyu's blog + idk what to name it so i just do that instead lmao

rules: write your favorite thing you’ve written, the least favorite, and one you think deserved more hype! then also post a screenshot of your recently saved on pinterest (just so it looks pretty)

tagged by: smiles @boba-beom! you've been posting so much more fics i haven't keep up yet :") but thanks for tagging me! this is fun!

another episode of lissie, the breaker of the chain. also warning: profanity, i will fucking curse + don't mind me expanding it. still creds to that anon though. i freaking adore you for asking that

part 1. favorite work(s) i've written (aka @/writingmochi staple and a must-read for people who finds my blog for the first time [welcome, new followers! hope you enjoy them!]):

crossroads, a enhypen jay one-shot

still is the proudest fic i've ever written. very studio ghibli (according to @/jeongwins) and also very movie-like. @/orochxi melodramas got me in the feels to write this but this is more wholesome that viv's memento mori-coded fics lmao... fun fact: this is almost a nct chenle fic inspired by parasite (2019) hence the fish-out-of-water scenario

troubled pixies, a txt taehyun one-shot two-shot

definitely my favorite character-building-wise. the fact that i have to figure out not only mc + taehyun but also the sisters, their partners, and the sisters' parents' characteristics here is so complicated yet fun, especially how intricate it is. also currently my longest one-shot i've written (52k) that tumblr hates it so much, it has to be divided into two :") (also, this is one of @/boba-beom's fav fics. i've successfully infected her with 80s/90s songs hehehe) + istg mc here is a definite lux lisbon if she live in 90s instead of the 70s, complete with the chainsmoking and her taste in 90s alt songs

time wave, a txt yeonjun series

now, this is my favorite world-building-wise. i made haeyang this intricate place and setting with its supernatural aspect only some people get (you will know when you read). before writing this, i know i had to make a life is strange (2013) inspired au because it is one of my favorite story-based games of all time. and i’m proud that it kinda becomes its own self especially with my own twists on it. hope you are ready because the [redacted] spin-off will be posted around october! fun fact: this was supposed to be written for stray kids han

part 2. least favorite work i've written:

a story of two broken hearts, a enhypen jake series

i am still proud of this even though it is my least favorite!!!! why, you ask? because this is the first building block of my blog as a whole which is then continue with time wave's chapters as i honed my writing skill. it is the shortest one-shot currently (at 9k though which is still considered long-fic) but you could definitely sense my style even with that. and i don't wanna change it any other way... :]

part 3. work(s) that deserve more hype:

smirch, a txt and enhypen series

I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD! THIS IS ALSO ONE OF MY FAV FIC TO WORLD-BUILD AND I'M SO SAD THIS DOESN'T DESERVE MORE HYPE ABOUT IT! i made a social media au style of the characters' intro/profile and i also allow you guys to talk to them if you want and help with the world-building. please make their world grow so it can also motivate me to write this series! + this is a naughty teen series but not euphoria-esque, if you like skins uk especially gen 1 with tony, cassie, and a little bit of effy, please consider reading this :")

isobel, a txt soobin one-shot

this deserves more hype because tumblr let me down by not putting it in the tags aaaaaaaaaaaaa i re-post this 10 fucking times istg and ughhhh D: D: if you like magical realism or any of the genres written at the top, please consider reading it too

pizzeria run, a enhypen sunoo one-shot

the more time this fic is available on my blog, i have accumulated a few thoughts: (1) enhablr peeps are horny and like smut more than any other creative writing genre; (2) enhablr peeps don't read sunoo fics like they read heeseung/sunghoon/jungwon/niki's; and (3) enhablr peeps don't like anything except for romance. and that is sad to me because there are so many writers who write any topic other than romance or smut that is as great. so, if you want something different or if you like horror, do consider reading this one :D

part 4. recently saved pins on pinterest:

all of them are smirch post-episode updates! since the last entry is jay's, most of them are what happened to jay and mc after jay's episode (and one for heeseung's post-episode update). more pins will come soon as i make my moodboard for a few of my fics public!

tagging: my fellow writer mutuals @orochxi @impuritywritings @tyunlatte @heart2beom, my favorite seonghwa ateez writer @tenelkadjowrites and any other writers who want to join!

p.s. if someone tags me this tag game again when i've posted ateez fics, I'll definitely include one of them in here!

[moonhoures]

all in

pairing: taehyun (txt) + reader (fem.)

genre: non-idol!au, mild angst, smut [ nsfw | mdni ]

warnings: established relationship, poker player!taehyun, dom!taehyun, sub!reader, degradation kink, dumbification kink, oral (m receiving), semi-public sex, hair pulling, finger sucking, cum eating, brief appearances by yeonjun and jungkook <3

word count: ~2K

a/n: just a quick disclaimer, i know next to nothing about poker, so please don’t judge me too harshly for the game terms/play in this fic 👉🏻👈🏻 i tried my best lol

posted: february 23, 2022

“I fold.”

A smirk played at the edges of Taehyun’s lips as one of the men at the table resigned from the game. It was down to three players now, and tensions were high as the pot grew bigger before them. You saw it in the way Taehyun’s shoulders sat stiff and his shoe tapped against the floor in small increments of five—his lucky number. He had been doing good all night, but as fate would have it, right as the last game is coming to an end is when his cards start to look unlucky. The only thing keeping him from drowning was the other players dropping out and getting worse hands. But this game could be unpredictable, and that made Taehyun antsy. If there was one thing you knew about your boyfriend, it was that he hated losing.

“What d’ya got for me, Taehyun?” the older player across the table mocked your boyfriend, a teasing look in his eyes. He held his cards so nonchalantly yet secretively, not that there was anyone to see them. See, where as Taehyun had you for support, Jungkook had no one. He never did. It had you wondering if he was single or if he just didn’t want any chance of distractions. He was super attractive, so you couldn’t imagine the first option being the case.

“I could tell you, but I would be bluffing,” Taehyun responded casually, fingers tightening around the cards in his hand.

“What about you, Yeonjun?” Jungkook asked, cocking his head to the left where Yeonjun sat, contemplating his hand with an unamused expression. The boy sighed, glancing at his short stack in front of him. It was obvious he wasn’t in the best standing, but it was up to him to make the next call.

“I’m all in.”

Taehyun pursed his lips in satisfaction as he realized Yeonjun wouldn’t be making it very much longer. It was basically down to him and Jungkook—which meant stakes were even higher, and his hand needed to get better, quickly.

After a few more minutes, Jungkook’s cocky remarks and nonchalance on top of Taehyun’s somewhat decent hand was making him feel like a cornered animal. He had the worst feeling in his gut telling him that he was going to lose. His only hope now was that by some miracle him and Jungkook could manage to get a split pot.

“Your turn, Kang,” Jungkook goaded, eyes wandering up to yours for a just a second. He smiled as he turned his attention back to his cards. You weren’t sure if he had actually smiled at you, but you hoped Taehyun hadn’t noticed it, nonetheless.

Of course he did, though. He noticed everything.

“Three of a kind,” Taehyun announced, laying out his hand on the table confidently despite the nervousness coursing through his veins making his heart pump obnoxiously fast.

Jungkook sighed through his nose, shaking his head softly, “It was nice playing with you, boys.”

Your heart sank for your boyfriend as the older player set down his cards.

“Straight flush.”

There was a moment of despair that loomed over Yeonjun, who had already accepted his fate, and Taehyun, who was still processing his. Jungkook feigned sympathy for the two as he gathered the money from the center of the table that had accumulated. The dealer picked up the chips and put them in their case, bidding the gentleman a good night as they all shared bittersweet handshakes.

You pretended like you hadn’t seen the way Jungkook’s eyes lingered on you as he walked away from the table and back into the casino. Yeonjun and Taehyun spoke for a bit, leaving you off to the side to wait for their conversation to finish. Finally, once the heels you were wearing started to make your feet ache, your boyfriend said his goodbyes to his friend and turned to you with a unreadable expression. He didn’t seem as upset as you thought he would be, but he also didn’t seem happy either.

Your hands rested on his shoulders as you gave him a sympathetic smile, “It’s okay, love, you’ll get him next time. Maybe with a pot twice as big, too.”

Taehyun nodded slowly, eyes looking into yours with a dark expression. It made you nervous having his undivided attention like this.

“Baby, what’s wrong?”

“Don’t ‘baby’ me,” his hands held your hips, fingers gripping into the silky material of your black slip dress. The material was so thin he could feel the outline of your panties underneath them. With one, quick glance down, he could see your cleavage sticking out of the neckline of the ensemble. When his eyes looked back up at yours, they were much darker—angrier even, “I saw the way Jungkook was looking at you. Now I understand why. I shouldn’t have let you leave the house looking like this.”

You rolled your eyes, wanting to seem unaffected and annoyed despite the growing excitement between your legs, “You can’t be serious. You’re jealous?”

“I don’t get jealous,” he scoffed humorlessly, “But I am protective of you. You know that.”

“I think somebody’s just upset he lost, and he’s trying to justify it,” you teased, hoping to work him up. You knew Taehyun hated losing, but he also hated being mocked, especially by you.

Your hands rubbed his shoulders, and even though you meant nothing by it, he perceived it as you being condescending. His jaw set while he looked at you, his grip on your hips tightening, “You really don’t want to push my buttons right now, ________.”

“Mm,” you moaned quietly as your hands slipped from his shoulders to his chest. You were so thankful that everyone had filed out of the little poker space you were in moments before this, “What if I do, though?”

The faintest grunt erupted in his throat as his hands left your waist to grab your hand in his. He didn’t speak as he led you away from the table, but he didn’t have to. You knew your boyfriend well enough to know he was taking you somewhere private to show you why teasing him wasn’t a good idea. You had trouble keeping up with his fast pace as he practically dragged you all over the busy casino in search of the perfect place for you two.

Eventually he found it: an ‘employees only’ bathroom stall that was nearly hidden in a hallway by an out-of-order ATM machine. Taehyun made sure no one was paying you two any mind as he opened the door and guided you inside, locking the door once the two of you were in.

“You know I love you, right?” he said, backing you against the wall slowly with his hands on your cheeks and his forehead pressed against yours.

You nodded, eyes trained on his lips as his tongue darted out to wet them, “Mhm.”

“Good, because I’m going to do, and say, some not-so-nice things to you,” he groaned, capturing your lips in a ravenous kiss. You hummed into his mouth as his tongue massaged yours. His hands went from your cheeks to your jaw, then to your neck. His thumb caressed your sensitive throat, a smile on his lip as you moaned.

“Get on your knees,” he instructed you, eyes twinkling when you immediately started to sink down onto the floor.

“The floor’s dirty, though,” you pouted up at him, feeling sand-like dirt against your knees as they touched the floor.

“It’s just like you then, huh? My filthy girl,” he hummed, messing up your hair as he combed his fingertips through it. Once his hand was at the back of your head, he gripped your hair and tugged you back, making your lips part in a gasp. He smirked down at you, “You’re gonna suck me off like a good girl, okay?”

You nodded, hands reaching up to unfasten his belt. With impatient tugs, you managed to get his pants and boxers down, freeing his cock. Your mouth was salivating at the thought of it in your mouth. Fortunately, Taehyun didn’t plan on keeping you waiting much longer. In fact, he took his dick in one hand and your chin in the other.

He pulled your chin to open your mouth wider before leading his erection to it. His eyes glossed over as he watched your mouth fill up with his cock, your cheeks hollowing around him. The hand at the back of your head guided you up and down his length, making you gag every few strokes. He chuckled as tears filled up your eyes.

“Is my little slut gonna cry for me? Is my dick too much for you to handle?”

Your objection was muffled around him, making a collection of spit and precum bubble and leak out of the corners of your lips. He nodded as if he understood you, then he closed his eyes to take in the pleasure of your tongue against his throbbing shaft. As much as he loved ruining you, you loved making him feel good. You didn’t mind if he roughed you up in the process.

And he definitely liked it rough. He liked holding your head still as he fucked into your mouth. He liked making you cry from how his dick touched the back of your throat with each thrust. He liked calling you a slut while he did it. Most of all, he liked how you just let him do all of that to you.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum,” he panted, hips bucking up into the warmth of your mouth, “I want you to swallow all of it. Got it, baby?”

You moaned in agreement, tears freely streaming down your cheeks as Taehyun’s thighs started to spasm. A few grunts left his gritted teeth as his cum spit down your throat and along your tongue. He didn’t stop, though. He kept thrusting into your mouth until he couldn’t take it anymore. He pulled out of you slowly, watching intently, hoping to see the mess he made.

You both moaned in unison as his cum gathered on your tongue, threatening to spill over your parted lips. He stuck two fingers into your mouth, forcing you to close it around them.

“Swallow,” he demanded softly, completely opposite from the way he shoved his fingers further into your mouth as you sucked on them. His dick twitched as he felt all of his semen disappear from your tongue while you gulped. He removed his fingers and tapped the wet digits against your lips to have you open them again, “Show me how good you are.”

You obeyed, sticking out your tongue and tilting your head up so that the dingy bathroom lighting could show how empty your mouth was. His smile only widened when he noticed how puffy and wet your lips were; it made his dick twitch again.

“Fuck,” he breathed out, “Get up here.”

He gently pulled you up onto your feet by your hair. You stumbled as you stood upright, your heels wobbling from how weak your knees were. Taehyun held back a small laugh as he pulled you close to kiss you. You could feel his hardening dick poking against your thigh, and you dared to gently palm it with your hand. He whined into the hungry kiss you shared, biting your lower lip as he regretfully pulled away.

“I’m gonna fuck you so good when we get home,” he mumbled against your cheek before pressing a contrastingly sweet kiss to it.

“Why not just fuck me here?”

He snickered, “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? But no, I’m not gonna fuck my precious baby in a dirty casino bathroom, no matter how dirty she is. I’m gonna take you home, get you all cleaned up, maybe fuck you in the shower. Then fuck you against the wall of our bedroom. Then again in our bed. Then again. And again . . . Until we can’t go anymore.”

Your breaths turned into pants against his lips as you imagined his words coming to life. You wanted him to fuck you everywhere in your house more than anything right now. You nodded along, making him smile.

“You want that? Want me to fuck you dumb? Fuck you until you can’t think straight? Until you can’t speak properly?” he rambled, his cock growing harder by the second.

“Please,” you groaned pathetically.

“Alright, let’s fix your face and hair, and then get you home.”

[yeoreos]

hate sex || jjk (m)

pairing :: jungkook x reader

genre :: 18+, fwb!au, smut, basically pwp

summary :: jungkook decides to show you how much he loves hates you.

warnings :: jungkook is in love with you, smut (corruption kink, big dick!jk, size kink, pussy slapping if you squint, oral (f. and m.), overstimulation, unprotected sex [be safe], sex in front of a mirror, denied orgasm, overstimulation, dirty talk, hair pulling, crying but it’s because jungkook is not showing any mercy on oc, hard dom!jk, somewhat brat!reader, a pinch of soft dom!jk, tattooed!jk, i think that’s it?)

wc :: 3.6k (of pure smut)

note :: first imagine ever please be kind :(( lowercase intended !!! (unedited)

“strawberry funnel cake frappuccino for y/n?”

your ears perked up at your name being called by the barista, indicating that your order is ready. you pushed past people, shocked at how packed it was despite it being a wednesday morning.

as for your situation, however, you needed that coffee. last night, the night of your date with your tinder match, didn’t happen. you realized how much time and energy you wasted looking your best for someone that didn’t even appreciate it. the rest of the night, you spent crying; not for your date, but for the makeup look you worked so hard on not to even get a reaction from anybody. but you didn’t let that stop you.

you grabbed your phone from the beige purse you had in your hands and threw the purse on your bed. from the lockscreen, you swiped left to open the camera app. from the angle it was in, the camera captured your feet. 

a few small pictures to upload to instagram wouldn’t hurt, right? and so for the next hour or two you spent in the bathroom having a photoshoot, silently thanking yourself for not throwing away the tripod that sat in the corner of your room, serving no purpose until that moment.

you took a few snaps in the bathtub with the water reaching the brim and your favorite scent littered into the water, along with a few rose petals to decorate it. this is going to be amazing. 

you sat in the bathtub, naked, careful not to let the water touch your face. with one person’s face in mind, you took the pictures, added a filter on them, and posted them onto your instagram, without a caption, because you sucked at those.

locking your phone, you sat in bed and went back to sleep, approximately around the time when the sun started rising, so of course you needed that coffee.

your best friend, Jimin, had heard all about it and had even been the first one to like and comment on your post. he commented so many times about how good you looked and how it was your date’s loss that he stood you up. it got to the point where he almost got shadow banned.

that was until he flooded your private message with more comments.

there was a specific comment, however, which caught your eye.

jeonjk97: damn babygirl

of course jungkook would comment something like that. but it didn’t fail to make you feel like you were on top of the world. 

fuck him and fuck his stupid self.

and the situation you were in was exactly that.

jungkook always had a preference when it came to girls. although he wasn’t the playboy type, he was still a boy and needed his desires to be satisfied. he preferred the innocent ones; “they have the tightest cunts” he would say.

but it was more to it than that. he knew that the innocence was fun to break down, to stain it with his touch where he knew his one-night stand would come back for more and fall to his feet, practically kissing it. he wanted to watch the way they would turn from someone so pure to someone equivalent to him in bed.

he figured that you were a virgin by the way you almost always had your nose in a book. but the first time he asked you to come over, he was shocked to see that the person you showed to everyone was nothing but a mask to hide it all. 

this was the first time you had caught jungkook’s intriguing eyes.

jungkook always reminded himself that he was only there to take, not to give, but it was getting harder and harder to do that each time you gave yourself to him. for him to use but he couldn’t. not when saw you as something more than just a quick fuck.

to make matters worse, you hated him with all of your guts, yelling out words that shouldn’t be uttered to him when the two of you weren’t in the premises of your (and sometimes his) bedroom.

“you’re a small, pretty thing, aren’t you?” he murmured to himself, standing next to your bed. you were sitting up on it, looking at him with a fire behind your eyes and a small smirk playing on your red lips. at that moment, he didn’t care about the feelings he had as all he wanted to was to take his cock out of the confines of his boxers and fuck your throat until you were gagging and choking on it, digging your nails into his thighs for leverage and a request to let you catch your breath.

“yes.” with your chest heaving up and down, the wetness between your thighs became more, the ghost of your orgasm pulling at every nerve in your body. that tingling feeling in your veins has you in a haze, wanting nothing more than just him.

he smirked, his purple hair falling over his eyes, and from the light hitting his back, it casted a shadow over them, making everything more exciting. every feeling and craving of touch for him was heightened, and you were getting tired of waiting.

“hurry the fuck up, jeon!” 

bad mistake.

immediately, he went up to you and grabbed you by the neck, pulling you so you were propped on your knees and in front of him. jungkook looked down at your lips and bit his own, thinking about the pretty sounds that would be coming out of them in a few moments.

with his free hand, he trailed his fingers down, teasingly running them down your skin to your shorts. the ghost of his fingers has your breath caught in your throat and as soon as he reaches your clothed mound, he presses his fingers down. you let out a sound near a gasp and shut your eyes immediately. a harsh slap is delivered to your pussy and you mewl out in pleasure.

“don’t raise your voice at me, understand?” his fingers toying your clothed clit was making it hard for you to voice anything back, so you nod your head instead. “words, baby.” 

oh he was evil.

“y-yes.” he smirked, satisfied with your response. he had never seen you so desperate for him in all the times he had spent with you.

he was aware of the fact that your panties had been soaked with your arousal, wetting his fingers in the process. “tell me what you want, princess.”

you swallowed air, choking on your own words for a second. you couldn’t believe what you were about to ask for. “i want- want you to fuck me...” with the way you trailed off, jungkook was sure it was more than just that, so he quirked a brow, giving you permission to speak further, “want you to fuck me like you hate me.”

something in jungkook seemed to snap because his eyes went a shade darker and an animalistic growl rumbled from deep within his throat.

all of a sudden, you were thrown onto the bed as jungkook got on his knees and tore your panties open, a loud gasp echoed throughout the room.

at first, jungkook took all the time in the world, leisurely toying with your clit and licking your opening until you turned into a moaning mess underneath his tongue, tugging on his bright locks like the floor was lava or something like that. it was only until you begged him to go faster, that he sped up the process of his tongue, assaulting your pussy. his strong grip on your thigh blocked you from distancing yourself from him and whenever you would, he suck on your clit, pulling it into his mouth and using his tongue to abuse the little nub. you grinded your hips into him, embarrassed of how good you were feeling, despite your strong negative feelings towards him on a daily basis. 

“perfect little pussy,” he mumbled against your clit, “made for me to fuck.” that was all it took for your orgasm to come crashing down on you, legs shaking, sinful sounds escaping your lips.

but that wasn’t it, he wanted to fuck you like he hated you, so he showed no mercy again when he entered two fingers into you right after your orgasm, the burning stretch making teas accumulate in the corner of your eyes. his mouth was back on your clit, still sensitive mind you, before you could protest any further. his hooded eyes stared at you, wondering how someone could look so beautiful in this situation.

it was only until your back arched off your bed as your mouth was gaped with no sound coming out, fingers holding onto dear life in his hair and pressing his face further between your thighs, that you came for the second time just by his mouth.

it wasn’t like you were against the idea, because in all honesty, you did ask for him to use you, but oh god if you knew the dangerous territory you were stepping in, you would’ve backed away a long time ago.

after you had calmed down from your high, although heart still racing, you slid down to the floor and got on your knees. jungkook wasn’t expecting this, all he wanted to do now was to fuck you until he rearranged your guts, but who was he to back down from your request of sucking his dick.

jungkook was haste to unbuckle his belt, already envisioning how you would look sucking his cock. however, he didn’t have to envision that for too long, because without any restrictions, you licked the crown of his dick, sending a shiver to go down his spine.

as for you, however, you didn’t realize how much you missed his dick until it was right in front of you and you could finally touch it. the pre-cum shined on his tip and it was waiting (im)patiently for you to give it some sort of relief. he reaches down for your hand and brings it to his dick, indicating that you do the action here. you grab it’s base and glide his tip over your mouth, smearing his arousal on your lips.

you part your lips and he allows you to have control over how much you were going to take in. when your warm mouth closes around him, he breathes out loud. you swirl your tongue over the head and taste the salty pre-cum. the feeling of his veiny cock feels so good in your mouth and you couldn’t wait for it to be shoved in your pussy. you start bobbing your head, using your hands for the parts your mouth couldn’t cover.

“oh fuck,” jungkook curses and entangles his fingers in your hair, pushing it back and holding it into a makeshift ponytail. it wasn’t until he wasn’t satisfied with how much you were taking into your mouth, that he starts bucking his hips into your mouth, going slow at first, then deciding to stay at a ruthless pace.

you opened your mouth and slacked your jaw, allowing him to use you as he pleased. jungkook curses underneath his breath when your submissiveness turns him on even more, but he’s quick to guide his cock in and out of your mouth. and truth be told, he could probably do this in his sleep with the amount of times he’s fucked your mouth. you gag around him, eyes glistening with warm tears as he continues his pace. jungkook holds your head when the feeling is too much and he becomes vocal.

letting out loud moans and groans, jungkook goes insane, almost cumming then and there.

but he couldn’t. he wanted to cum inside of your pussy.

your scalp physically hurt when he let go of your hair and slipped his dick out of your mouth, permitting you to catch a breath which he stole.

he picked you up by your waist and threw you on the bed, your head into the soft covers of your bedsheet. jungkook held you by your hips, pulling them up, so your ass was in the air and your head was in the mattress. 

he took his sweet time teasing and making you push your ass back for more, but he wouldn’t give himself to you just yet. he wanted to teach you your lesson.

and once he bottomed out, you moaned into the sheets, aware that you were drooling on them. it just felt that good. you loved it all. loved the way he was balls deep into you, loved the way he gripped your hips that it was going to leave marks, loved the way he was chanting your name like a mantra when you clenched around him, loved the way that he was the one fucking you.

as much as you would hate to admit it, jungkook was an all-rounder; perfect at everything he did whether it be sports, gaming, cooking, fashion. you name it, he could do it. including fucking you and that was your favorite part about him. that no matter how much the two of you hated (and one even loved, but that’s a conversation for another day) each other, you would always go back to each other like two opposites on a magnet. 

this view was nice, but jungkook wanted more. he wanted to see your face contort in pleasure, but at the same time, he wanted to see the way your cunt would take his cock. so, from the corner of his eye, he peeks at the mirror and considers the idea for a bit before moving around on the bed so you guys were in front of the mirror.

“w-what are you doing- mph!” jungkook enters you without even giving you a chance to complete your sentence. he brutally snaps his hips so his dick dives into your pussy, your walls doing nothing but contracting against his shaft.

jungkook bends down and grabs a fistful of your hair, pulling it as your neck cranes over to see the two of you in the mirror. through your reflection, you could see the way jungkook looks back with the same hungry and lustful eyes. your eyes travelled to your position and the sight alone had you gushing for him, more wetness pooling. you look at the way your hair now looked like (and probably did) it had knots in them, your lipstick smeared across your lips and some parts of it getting on your cheek and chin, your mascara smudged over your eyes. you looked bad, but a good type of bad. it had jungkook ramming his hips into yours even more.

“look at you,” he says although that was what you were doing the whole time, “such a dirty slut. who’s making you feel this good, huh? who?!”

“y-you, oh fuck jungkook, please don’t stop, don’t stop please, i’m going to-”

“don’t you dare.” the way the words came out of jungkook’s chest has your heart rate speeding up and you could’ve sworn he got harder inside of you. 

in response, you mewl and shake beneath him, finding it hard to hold in your orgasm. with the way your vision blurred, you knew you were close, your release so close yet so far away. 

jungkook leaves open mouthed kisses along the side of your neck, sucking into your skin, leaving a dark purple mouth he knew you were going to try to cover up the next day. for a little while, jungkook stills his hips, ravishing in the way your mouth is hung open and hands were shaking, trying their best to support the weight of your body. he holds that position, his lips pressing tender kisses on your neck. although you desperately want him to fuck you, another part of you wants to cherish this moment. 

so, you close your eyes in return and moan.

once he finished torturing the delicate skin of your neck, his eyes get drunk on your body, intoxicating him. at first, he watches through the mirror, watching the way your chest heaved for air. his eyes soon travelled to your back, to your ass, where he saw how deep he was buried into your cunt.

“your cunt is taking me so well, babe.”

once he sees that you were ready to take more, he pulls back and in one swift thrust, he pushed into you, a scream ripping through you. he does that again and again, causing the same reaction from you. jungkook once again stops when he’s fully inside of you, torturing you just to make you beg for him. you need him to fuck you relentlessly, so that’s exactly what you vocalize.

“please, jungkook,” your voice is nothing but a whisper, “please fuck me.”

“you should hear yourself, baby, the way you’re desperately begging for me. begging to be fucked,” he chuckles, “you already came once? or was it twice? how greedy can you be.”

“i’m you’re slut, jungkook. please fuck me.”

it was a light switch. something in him flicked and jungkook immediately started snapping his hips into you. “say that again, you little whore. who’s slut are you?”

“jungkook’s. only jungkook’s- fuck!”

he pushed his cock back before slamming into you with both of his hands on your hips. the lewd and slick sound of your pussy and your wetness leaving onto his cock echoes throughout the room and you could’ve sworn jungkook whimpered.

when that wasn’t enough, the sex god behind you takes both of your hands, pulling it behind you, setting yet another brutal pace. he can’t help but wrap his tattooed arms around your small, fragile ones. his eyes lock with yours, your throat protruding a gulp of air you had swallowed. 

“you look so pretty, your hands behind you as i’m fucking you, i wish you could see yourself. fuck,” he rumbles.

you moan at his words, because you couldn’t agree more. his hands were perfect; every inch of your body that he would touch, lick, kiss, all belonged to him. you belonged to him and jungkook was going to make sure you were aware of that by the end of the night tonight.

“moan louder,” he says while thrusting into you. “let everyone hear how much of a little slut you are for me.” he emphasizes the last word. his possessiveness was showing, but did either of you care? no.

as you give him exactly what he wants, he smiles while letting his cock fill you up, his hips hitting against yours with aggression. this all causes sparks of pleasure to coarse through your body, your veins felt like they were lit on fire, but not in the bad way. it was in a way only he could make you feel.

as you look at him through the mirror, you can’t help but find him extremely attractive. you watch the way he looks back at you with a cloudiness in his eyes and the way his pink tongue swipe across his bottom lips. jungkook keeps growling your name, thrusting into you with a different urgency every time

“please- jungkook please, i need to cum!” you were begging, not even caring how pathetic you looked and sounded.

“not until i tell you to,” the evil tone in his voice was evident and you didn’t know how longer you could hold in your release.

jungkook noticed the way tears freely fell from your eyes. something took over him, a sense of care. halting his hips, he leaned down and pressed gentle kisses to your neck. “just a little longer, yeah? you’re my good girl, and my good girl can do it. it’ll feel amazing, i promise.” you shuddered, a whole new feeling blossoming inside of you. a radiating warmth coursing throughout your body.

his hands could feel the way your body trembled and quivered underneath him with each thrust. the way he started his merciless pace had you losing yourself to the feeling of lust and desire. your face scrunches up, a feeling of your coil about to snap in your stomach.

jungkook quickly noticed and brings one of his hands which were previously wrapped around your wrists, made their way around your waist and to your clit, toying with the bundle of nerves. it wasn’t long until you were coming undone, with jungkook whispering praises and sweet nothingness into your ear.

a few moments and pumps later, jungkook feels his dick twitch inside of you. pulling out, he cums on you: your ass, your back, and your cunt.

still feeling high from your euphoria, the two of you stay in that position.

completely mesmerized in your afterglow, jungkook looks at you, you doing the same. the eye contact is far more intimate than what the two of you did just now. he never found anyone more beautiful after sex, but you? it was like a whole new perspective.

jungkook pulls his dick out a grabs a tissue from the table near your bed in order to clean you up, followed by a small, tender kiss pressed onto your temple. “you did so well,” he whispers and you feel your knees become weak. it was either due to exhaustion or because of his words.

you hoped it was not the latter.

[sgiddings]

used to love info dumping my jossam headcanons back in the day so i'd thought i'd give y'all a new and improved run down of all the new jossam (and some old + reworked) headcanons i've accumulated over the years (a lot were inspired by my love @evildeadgf & those specific hcs pretty much belong to her but we're a TEAM here so!!) let me share the visions with my fellow jossamers again

sam LOVES to thrift. genuinely anything second-hand she loves, and she loves dragging josh along with her to flee markets or a random hole in the wall quirky and kitschy thrift store they'll find wherever they may be travelling. josh never forgets to take photos of all the weird antiques he finds, like the 19th century porcelain dolls with cracks in their faces and the moment sam sees them she will SHRIEK. get it away from her!

josh finds little post-it notes everywhere around their apartment due to sam. she writes up reminders for josh, like what times he needs to take his meds, or that there's leftovers in the fridge for breakfast (when he gets up though, it's lunch time)

when at work, sam never misses the opportunity to take photos of the furry companions that come in since she works with animals. and josh totally gets the message sam is trying to send every time he gets a new photo of a cute dog, cat or rabbit - sam clearly wants a pet for the two in the future, but josh can hardly take care of himself most times let alone a whole animal, which sam understands, but she won't let up so easily!!! she's gonna send cute cats!!!! and he's totally gonna warm up to it some day

they're both very musically inclined, sam can sing and josh can play the guitar, though not many of his friends actually know it about him - he pretty much only jams out with sam whenever he's up to it. even if he's much more a film guy, he's down to listen to sam lull him with her pretty voice any time of the day

speaking of film - they both love it, though in different ways. sam's not too much of a horror person like josh, and she hates the supernatural genre - literally scares the soul out of her body, she can't handle it alone, but with josh there she's calm enough, and comes to love some of his favourite horrors, and of course josh comes to love all the oldies she grew up with that she shows him even if he'd already seen some of them before in passing. whenever josh talks to her about the particulars of how they took a certain angle or shot sam is totally enthralled, she loves to hear him speak about the things he's passionate about

with sam being half italian and vegan simultaneously, she cooks up a lot of family favourite meals with vegan substitutes and always has josh taste test. they never fail to be delicious. sam is THE best cook, josh washington's seal of approval

they 100% geek out on musical theatre together and have totally dressed up to the nines to see phantom of the opera on broadway at least once or twice

they've both been in love with one another for pretty much half of their lives. when they were preteens their first kisses were each other, sam 11 and josh 12 - it was a quick little nervous and flustered peck but nonetheless, the memory never left both of their minds even as they grew older, and josh was barely a lady's man in his teens to early adulthood, too many people found him unapproachable or 'weird' despite his partying nature (which is a whole can of worms in itself imo! escapism at its finest!) he never had a solid or proper relationship with anyone until he finally got with sam. now sam, she tried to date here and there, but it was weird for her, after years and years of crushing on her best friend's brother, she told herself to get over it, face reality (in which she thought he clearly didn't reciprocate her feelings) and find someone who made her happy and who'd she make happy in return, and that of course, was a bust. josh was her only love, and sam was josh's

josh has a polaroid scrapbook of their adventures together, and sam is absolutely in love with it, when he first showed it to her it literally broke her, she couldn't suppress her tears and nor could she hold herself back from throwing herself into his arms

i really could go on and on and on but ahh!!! i love them so much!! they are my babies!!!!

[yoongsgguktae]

one night & one more time | jhs [preview]

summary; you and hoseok dated off and on again for several years. your relationship was never a stable one, but you always found yourself running back into his arms. that is, until you finally left. a few years later, you have moved on while hoseok continued to pick up the missing pieces alone. one day, you two cross paths by chance and a whirlwind affair begins, leaving feeling to get hurt. pairing; hoseok x female reader genre; angst, ex-lovers, smut, infidelity rating; M (18+) word count; 12k and growing warnings; to be determined! teaser warnings; smoking

this is part of the not a phase collab hosted by @suhdays​​ 💜 inspired by the song thnks fr th mmrs by fallout boys 

release date; sometime the first week of june (because i cannot commit to an actual date) preview below is unedited and subject to change!

MASTERLIST

—

He pushes the metal door open, only to see you leaning back against the brick wall. A cigarette lays between your fingers while your head is tilted back, facing the sky and your eyes closed.

“I thought you stopped smoking.”

Your eyes open slowly as Hoseok strides by your side, taking the empty space next to you. Instead of turning to face him, you raise the cigarette up to your lips and take a long drag. “Some habits are hard to quit,” you reply, smoke whirling out between your lips as you speak. You bring your hand back down by your side, flicking the accumulated ashes off.

Hoseok chuckles, knowing all too well the double meaning behind your words. He reaches into his back pocket to take out his own box of cancer sticks and lighter. It’s amusing to hear those words coming from you as that was a reason for your escape from him and this shit town.

“Does your boyfriend know? That you smoke I mean.” He places one between his lips and lights it.

“No. What’s it matter to you?”

He laughs again and shrugs, leaning back on the same brick wall. “You seem to be someone else. You carry yourself differently,” he stuffs the contents back into his back pockets, “I bet coming here again is something the ‘new you’ would never do, isn’t that right?”

You scoff, finally turning to look at him now with disdain. “Don’t act like you know me. Coming here tonight was a mistake.” 

The cigarette is flicked from your hand after taking a final drag, stubbing it with your shoe to put it out. Hoseok glances in your direction as you push yourself off the wall now, looking like you’re about to flee. He can see your face start to get flush, filled with anger.

“You’re right. I don’t know who you are anymore. That’s what happens when you leave someone and never return.”

These words make you halt your movements. You turn, standing in front of him, his back still up against the wall. “Look. I understand why you hate me. I can’t undo any of what I put you through.” You rub your temples, taking in a breath. “I hope you can forgive me one day.”

“First of all, I don’t hate you.” Hoseok’s smile falls into a straight line. He flings his bud onto the pavement, one that is littered with other used and forgotten sticks much like the one you had discarded moments ago. 

“But how–how dare you?” It’s his turn to push off the wall, stepping closer to you. “You understand? You go years without contacting me and think you can just–ask for me to forgive you just like that?”

“I–”

He steps even closer and you instinctively take steps back until you’re up against the other side of the tight alley. Hoseok has you cornered, hands coming to either side of your head, no way to get around him as he cages you in. He leans forward, nose almost touching and eyes unwavering. “As far as I’m concerned, you’ll always leave me. Nothing you can say or do will ever change that.”

—

just have some few things to wrap up, then spend some time editing before posting in the coming week! please anticipate it!!

taglist; @imanerdychubbyqueen @secretlycrazyhummingbird @stigmaluvr @tae2litty @moonlitmyg @betysotelo18 @bobbyboops @afangirllikeme-blog @kwanisms @uwu-yifan @xiaokoo @xxluckydreamsxx @silveyes @bang-woolssi @rooo-tah @jalexad @jungkookforpresident @hodginss @oopsthi @minyg-agd2 @limited-edition-teddy-bear @sugamonster22 @i-am-invisible-for-you @lochness-butmakeitsexy @introambition​ if you would like to be added to the collab taglist (meaning all 8 fics) leave a comment or message me!

[woozisnoots]

losing you | yoon jeonghan

° pairing: jeonghan x f!reader, jun x f!reader ° genre: soulmate!au, bittersweet angst ° summary: losing me is better than losing you. ° word count: 1.5k ° warnings: implied death but details aren’t explicit! i promise the fic itself isn’t bad >< ° a/n: TEEHEE @vibecheckvernon​​ SURPRISE I’M UR TCT SECRET SANTA !!!! 😌 posted this a little later for prime angst reading times :D I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT CHRISTMAS!!! p.s. pls don’t sue me i love you <3

inspired by: @95boysbe​ ‘s fic, ‘when you love someone’ (tysm for all of you for helping me find this again! 💓 pls go check out their work as well!) + wonho’s song ‘losing you’

masterlist!

jeonghan has no intentions of going to his family’s christmas party. at least not this early. looking into his appearance in the mirror, he wraps the red checkered scarf around his neck so the ends nicely drape over his white long sleeve shirt tucked under his matching sweater vest. a festive look to hide away his disinterest buried in his “enthusiasm”.

“daddy, are you not coming with us?” jeonghan jolts by the sudden tugging of his sweater from his side, looking over, forcing his eyes to meet with his daughter’s watery orbs.

he crouches down to one knee so he’s completely eye level, tucking in the loose strands of hair behind her ear. “not yet sweetheart. daddy’s gotta pick up a few things for the party.” he opens his arms wide for the tiny human to bury herself in a bear-like embrace. 

“stay by mommy’s side at all times, okay?” the little girl steps back to face her father, her hands gripping onto jeonghan’s index finger. “promise?” he continues to persist until she sniffles a series of nods. a small melancholy smile creeps onto jeonghan’s face as he wiggles himself out of her powerful grasp and cups her cheeks, creating small circles on her soft cheekbones with his thumbs. 

“good girl. i’ll be back before you notice i’m gone.” 

the walk there is shorter than jeonghan was expecting and it almost makes him sick to his stomach. he wants the anticipation to subside by the time he gets there, yet at this rate, he would arrive with nothing but the swell of guilt weighing down inside of him. 

the winter chill makes him shiver, hiding his balled fists in his pockets. the farther he walks, this once familiar street slowly turns into the abyss as the fog erases his footsteps along with the glimmery lights surrounding him. but jeonghan is only focused on the dark pathway ahead of him. weeks after hearing the news, and an additional few months of “recovery”, his imagination has conditioned him for far worser environments than some cold weather. 

the field of clean cut grass beside him is now closed off, barred by a wired fence painted white indicating he was getting close. it was a foolish thing really. this entire time, from the moment jeonghan left the house until now, he’s been trying to find the right words to say to you. what he would say to you if you were willing to hear him out. question he desperately wants answered. jeonghan lowers his head, scoffing under his breath knowing you probably would have. even though he knew himself that he didn’t deserve it. and neither did you. 

he comes to a pause at the entrance, reaching out to maneuver the chains that lock the gateway. taking a slow deep breath in, jeonghan looks up before entering the place of the dead, only to see that you already had company. 

the hint of discomfort causes jeonghan’s body to stiffen - the sight of an tall, unfamiliar man here with you triggering his fight or flight response, his instincts urging for the first rather than late. why would he be at a place like this? and on christmas no doubt.  

jeonghan takes his time walking towards you both, eyeing his physique up and down from afar. as he got closer, he examines the man’s notable facial features. the longer he stares, the more confused jeonghan gets causing him to crease his eyebrows. neither of you know him. jeonghan shakes the thought away- no, he doesn’t know him. maybe within the time you were away, the two might have met. jeonghan keeps his mind neutral, accepting all the possibilities. 

the mysterious man dressed down in this cold december, notices jeonghan walking this way before he could stop in his tracks to presenting himself in front of you. chuckling at the grimace look on jeonghan’s face. 

as respectful as he could possibly mutter, jeonghan opens his mouth to speak, “who-”

“so you must be yoon jeonghan,” he’s quick to cut him off, knowing exactly what might be running through his mind right now. he nods his head towards him, acknowledging the new, delighted presence that fills the air. “my name’s jun.” he watches as the imaginary fumes streaming from the top of jeonghan’s head start to dissipate. “a friend of hers back in america,” he lied, not that jeonghan would ever know anyways. “she talked a lot about you. it almost got annoying. 

just like how jeonghan did, jun studies him in his entirety. a smirk forming on his lips finding that he looked exactly how you described. as well as his own description: a good for nothing low life with faltering loyalty. jun scowls at the ring wrapped around jeonghan’s finger. “talk about that red string of fate, huh,” his words protrude the thick musk that wavers around them, finally breaking jeonghan’s walls. “don’t mind me though. i’m just here to pay my respects as a friend,”jun says, his words laced with sarcasm. 

jeonghan freezes in his spot, feeling only a tingling sensation in his fingers and toes as the flood of memories of the two of you replay in the back of his mind. the entirety of your childhood, including your teenage and what was there for your college years. until the dreaded day you decided to leave. “so, you knew?” he whispers more so for his curiosity rather than looking for an actual answer. 

and from the look on jeonghan’s face, jun could tell. “yeah,” he says just enough for jeonghan to hear. “i knew a lot.” he averts his eyes away from the soft hearted gaze that now appears on jeonghan’s face. 

jun may not have known you the same amount of time as jeonghan did. but the way you wore your heart on your sleeve despite being so vulnerable even after the fact, jun can pluck out things even jeonghan probably never noticed. how jeonghan could ever leave his soulmate for someone else, jun will never fathom at the thought. 

but jun knew your side of the story, how you felt watching your soulmate drew you guys apart. no, he wasn’t your friend per say, not in his official title anyway. when you were admitted into the hospital, jun was only there as a volunteer. he had a responsibility to look after all his assigned patients as comfort companions through their clinical care, including you. 

you were the hospital’s one exception. at the point of your critical condition, doctors truly didn’t know when the time would pass. knowing no one else in the states aside from your family, jun soon became your side by side as hospital bed buddies. and hated every moment of it. 

he hated the way you smiled so brightly for him every day despite how sick you were. but stare blankly at your food whenever it came to you and end up not eating. he hated how you easily created friendships with the nurses and other caretakers at hospital, including himself. but refused to take your medication. he hated how fondly you talked about love when you weren’t feeling it. he hated hearing the sniffles that came from your room every morning after he clocked in. he hated it so much that you still smiled saying your soulmate's name even though he was doing the same thing for someone else. in the end, jun was too late to tell you all that.

fate, being the sick bastard that it is, has jun meeting the one person he actually came to hate. and he’ll do one better. just like how jeonghan never got to know about your true feelings and conditions, jun will never tell him how much he truly cared for you. how he was entirely convinced he, a person who wasn’t even destined to have a soulmate, could fill the void that jeonghan had left. 

the longer jun stands there, the small pit of anger quietly begins to boil and that was his cue to leave. he avoids eye contact as he stirs away from the flowers he left you and tries to make his exits, stopping at his tracks when jeonghan speaks once again.

“then can i ask you something? your opinion as her friend. since you know,” he hiccups, the words coming out a beat too late. his voice also shaky, not knowing if it was due to the cold or the rise of his nerves. 

jun leans on one leg, stuffing his hands in the side pockets of his leathered coat. he almost says no. he wants to say no. “shoot,” sounding unbothered. 

“do you think she’d still want to be my soulmate in a different life?” 

jeonghan’s heart churns at his own question, as does jun’s. he could have asked any other question, but out of the hundreds he accumulated in the mile walk here, jeonghan figured this was the one that jun could at least give some thought. 

jun takes a sharp inhale in, his nails forming small crescent moons into his palm. with a heavy sigh, he turns back around and scoffs at the sight of jeonghan tearing up in front of you. and with gritted teeth, he responds.

“of course she would.”

[diyeoracha]

IwaOi Fanfiction Masterlist with 90+ Works

Hello! In celebration accumulating over 290 bookmarks on my AO3 account featuring IwaOi, Haikyuu S4 part 2, and @haikyuuweek2020​ (Day 7 - Free Choice), I decided to create a masterlist of all of my favorite Iwaoi fics in order to keep myself organized as well as contributing to more traffic for those works! Works are split up into genres such as alternate universe (either not childhood friends or set on Earth), angst, canon compliant (post timeskip with spoilers), canon divergent (childhood friends but divergent timeline post timeskip), high school, and university au

Formatting update: Jan 13, 2021 (spacing is wonky on the mobile app!).

Fic update: Jan 7, 2021

This is incomplete as I got distracted while re-reading a lot of these and have only gone through half of my bookmarks, but feel free to check my own page here for the rest of them! I really do hope you guys enjoy reading these and leave comments and kudos! Please reblog and like so more people can enjoy

Titles marked with (♡) are my absolute favorites and there’s a chance I cried while reading them but otherwise they’re in alphabetical order

Alternate Universe

an allegory of all the things we could’ve been

Word count: 16k

Summary: “I don’t know anything about some red string,” Iwaizumi murmurs into the cracks of Oikawa’s skin, “or even about lifetimes or fate. But no matter where you are, I’ll find you. Gods or otherwise.” Reincarnation AU

And All the Prince’s Men

Word count: 65k

Summary: “Father only loves that which he owns, and I am the one thing that can never truly be his.” Royalty AU

Built a Temple in Me

Word count: 55k

Summary: Up the mossy mountain steps, past the komainu guardians and the faded red gate, and beyond the boundaries of the green shrine—that’s where the forest and the spirit world within it lies. That’s were Hajime met him, and where their story began.But intertwining of destinies can be ugly business, Hajime finds, when their first meeting begins with blood and the too-human eyes of a beast. God Oikawa AU

Quote: It fills his heart anyway, heals the hole in his chest that had been bleeding since he cut Tooru so forcibly from him.

Cotton Breathing

Word count: 13k

Summary: Long-distance and summer only but childhood friends AU

Conquering the Great King

Word count: 105k

Summary: Oikawa's lips twitched into a smirk and he brought them hovering just over Iwaizumi's, "One time thing, Two time thing, what's it matter as long as it's not a Relationship thing?"

Quote: Oikawa's eyes twitched wide for less than a second, his knee pressed in hard against Iwaizumi's thigh, "I may be gorgeous, but I'm not a doll."

dear diary, i met a boy

Word count: 15k

Summary: Iwaizumi's first impression of his upstairs neighbor involves getting woken up at two in the morning to the sound of Oikawa singing along to trashy pop music. He'd thought it would get better, but it all just goes downhill from there. Modern AU

Desperado

Word count: 82k

Summary: Clearly Iwaizumi had a checkered past. Kyoutani has never asked about it, nor has Iwaizumi ever brought it up. He knows it’s a sore spot for his mentor, just like the gorgeous Monte Carlo he keeps hidden away is, so he leaves it alone. Out on the streets, you learn a little something about when to turn a blind eye in order to survive; Kyoutani knows better than most to leave the past of men like Iwaizumi well alone. Heist AU

Even Heroes (have the right to dream)

Word count: 20k

Summary: Oikawa Tooru, ace reporter of the superhero beat of Asahi Shimbun, hates superheroes. Or maybe he just hasn’t met the knight one yet. Superhero AU

♡Infinite Risks

Word count: 8k

Summary: “It’s my fate,” Oikawa responds slowly. He’s crying. “It’s too lonely,” Iwaizumi’s heart sounded broken. “And I’m not there with you. Not really.” Edge of Tomorrow AU

In Defense of Reptiles

Word count: 9k

Summary: In their seventh year, Oikawa is chosen to be the Hogwarts champion in the Triwizard Tournament, and Iwaizumi suffers. Harry Potter AU

Quote: “You are so spoiled,” Iwaizumi tells him, but lets him shuffle down until Iwaizumi’s hand is now running through Oikawa’s hair instead of rubbing his shoulder.

In the Telling

Word count: 6k

Summary: Muggleborn Iwaizumi could not be less impressed with pureblood Oikawa Tooru. Harry Potter AU

♡Lockdown

Word count: 72k

Summary: Within the first few months of his stay, Oikawa gets caught up in a war between cellblocks, becomes a prime target, and must decide just how far he's willing to go to protect Iwaizumi Hajime. Prison AU

♡long nights, no peace

Word count: 18k

Summary: It's the steady knowledge that Iwaizumi Hajime will always be someone that he can rely on, that no matter what the world throws at the two of them, they share in a piece of each other's soul. Pacific Rim AU

Quote: Quiet settles between them softly, like the warm pressure of the blanket, or Iwaizumi's fingers curling to lightly hold the fabric of Oikawa's shirt.

The Long Light

Word count: 36k

Summary: Iwaizumi Hajime's seventh year at Hogwarts begins, and begins, and begins, and begins. Somehow, Oikawa Tooru is always there. Harry Potter AU

Magic Man

Word count: 12k

Summary: Oikawa is named the most desirable wizard in France. Iwaizumi is not impressed. Harry Potter AU

Quote: You keep saying partner or them. Is it rude of me to ask you to clarify?

Meet me in the grey area

Word count: 24k

Summary: Set in a hero/villain AU with Iwa as our trusty hero and Oikawa as our charming villain

Saw You at the Fish Market

Word count: 14k

Summary: In other words, Oikawa befriends hot part-time worker Iwaizumi and tries to impress him both off and on the court, in hopes of more.

♡♡ (sing with me) A Song of Conquest and Fate

Word count: 26k

Summary: When Seijou receives a missive from Aobajousai to discuss a potential peace, its emperor Oikawa Tooru could not have foreseen the series of events that would follow. Historical fantasy AU

Similar Creatures

Word count: 53k

Summary: "What's your name?" "Whatever you want it to be."(Or, Oikawa gets directions from an attractive stranger on a street corner.). Escort AU

♡Something Like Us

Word count: 28k

Summary: Friends since childhood, Oikawa and Iwaizumi now live together, both playing for the National Team. It's no secret that athletes who are bonded perform better. So if the two of them happen to bond...It'd be for the good of the team, right? A/B/O AU

Space

Word count: 44k

Summary: Tries not to think of his rooftop garden, or the apartment he used to inhabit, or Hajime’s broken expression on the night they whispered their goodbyes before Tooru’s launch, attempting to push it all to the back of his mind behind visions of this alien world terraformed. Astronaut AU

Stop the Time

Word count: 10k

Summary: Iwaizumi Hajime, 27, E.R. nurse at University of Tokyo Hospital. Hospital AU

♡♡The Loyalty of A Traitor

Word count: 76k

Summary: Iwaizumi Hajime was an undercover officer with a single objective: Infiltrate the Seijoh Syndicate of the Yakuza and tear them down from the inside out. His primary target was the boss, Oikawa Tooru. The job itself was simple enough, until Iwaizumi got in too deep and absconded not only from the mission, but from the city itself. Yakuza AU

These Flowers I Stole For You

Word count: 3k

Summary: ANBU don't cry. They tear themselves apart, bit by bit, and then they stitch themselves whole again. Naruto AU

on shipwreck shore

Word count: 8k

Summary: “I’m going to murder you in cold blood and feed you to the basilisks,” Iwaizumi says conversationally. “You can’t do that, I’m your boss,” Oikawa sings, positively sparkling. “Also we’re partners, which means,” he points at Iwaizumi and leans in, “you’re stuck with me.” Detective AU

Page 305 of 304

Word count: 53k

Summary: “…she called you ‘papa’,” iwaizumi managed. oikawa just stared for a moment longer before relaxing in a smile. “yeah. cute, right? but you can call me ‘daddy’ if you want.”

Temporary fix

Word count: 12k

 Summary: “And you’ve shampooed his hair how many times now? Hmm. Yeah, that’s not technically a bromance.” A/B/O AU

Tokyo Boy

Word count: 16k

Summary: He has feelings for Iwaizumi Hajime, who probably has casual lovers just like him in every major city he visits on business. Oikawa is just his Tokyo Boy, just another pit-stop on Iwaizumi’s travels. Businessman AU

Trial by Fire

Word count: 78k

Summary: (lawyer!AU - in which Iwaizumi loves his objections, Oikawa is beautiful, and they have more chemistry than two opposing attorneys probably should.)

Watch Me

Word count: 32k

Summary: Oikawa's a cam model. It’s been a month since Iwaizumi first spoke in his chat. When they meet in person, things get complicated. Cam model AU

Angst

open when

Word count: 1k

Summary: Iwaizumi knew it was coming, but it still hurt. It still hurt when he opens one letter and drowns it in the tears he cannot keep at bay.

Chasing Paper Suns

Word count: 10k

Summary: Post-high school,     Oikawa makes it to the national volleyball team but Iwaizumi doesn't. The     next three years become an exercise in growing up without growing apart

Quote: “ ‘it’s just—I’m     just trying so hard—’‘What, and I’m not?’

Timeless (We Have 30 Days)

Word count: 12k

Summary: Or AU where you're branded 50 days before you die. But Oikawa doesn't tell anyone so now there's only 30 days left.

the weight of water

Word count: 6k

Summary: “Again,” he says, the smallest tremor in his voice, and Oikawa blinks at him a moment before smiling, soft and sweet. “Iwa-chan,” he replies, and Iwaizumi closes his eyes. “Again.” “Iwa-chan.”

Canon Compliant

Are You Listening?

Word count: 4k

Summary: 30 times oikawa said i love you and 1 time he didn't have to

Quote: “Iwa-chan, watch out for the log—!” Oikawa looked on in horror as his best friend tripped and fell flat on his face.

Edge of the balcony

Word count: 8k

Summary: Iwaizumi looks older, he realizes. Oikawa knew he had aged as well, and so did everyone around him, but the thing was when you see people often, you don't notice the subtle changes in appearance. And Oikawa hadn't seen Iwaizumi in four years.

How can this loser ever win

Word count: 2k

Summary: everyone is in stupid love with Iwaizumi Hajime and he has no idea

♡♡♡Lost in Translation

Word count: 9k

Summary: Because misfortune come in threes, Iwaizumi Hajime starts his Thursday having a screaming fight with Shittykawa, spends his lunch break listening to the UCI women's volleyball team gossiping about how Ushijima Wakatoshi had gone public about his longtime love affair with Oikawa Tooru, and closes out the day by drunkenly dropping his phone into a sewer grate.

maybe we could be enough

Word count: 9k

Summary: iwaizumi hums in reply as the car goes silent, frank ocean crooning from the speakers. they stop at a red light when iwaizumi feels eyes at the side of his face, and turns to look at oikawa.

Most people never even get a single high school rival

Word count: 5k

Summary: Team Argentina gets to know Iwaizumi Hajime (27) Athletic Trainer.

Primavera

Word count: 8k

Summary: They say it takes twenty-six years, for certain breeds to fully bloom.

Quote: Did you know that distance is only me, growing towards you?

♡♡♡rest on your laurels

Word count: 4k

Summary: In Iwaizumi’s heart of hearts, untouched by time, they are young and alive, burning with the hearth of home and bright as winter light. Unbreakable. Invincible.

♡♡♡Something Borrowed

Word count: 16k

Summary: In which Oikawa and Iwaizumi have always been a foregone conclusion to everyone else, but a massive, unanswered question to one another.

‘Til Infinity

Word count: 2k

Summary: “Hey,” he says, “that cloud looks kind of like a dick.”

Quote: “I got you ladybug”

♡♡♡ You Set Off a Dream In Me

Word count: 15k

Summary: In which Oikawa is 41 and ready to retire. He's at the top of his game and ready to find a new challenge. Turns out his new challenge is pretty familiar. It's high school, round 2.

Quote: A past with an Iwaizumi that wasn’t on the opposite side of the net, monsters on all sides, guiding a setter that had lived the dream left behind in the ruins of Tooru’s past self.

Canon Divergent

a world alone

Word count: 60k

Summary: Iwaizumi has his medical books on the musculoskeletal system. Oikawa has his research papers on parallel universes. It isn't until much, much later that they realize they have each other.

♡Almost a Stranger

Word count: 16k

Summary: Iwa-chan's leaving Kapan. Tooru's not sure he can forgive him, but he's not going to admit his long-held feelings, either. A trip to Miyajima complicates everything.

Quote: There are only two things that have ever broken Oikawa Tooru’s heart. Iwa-chan would say Tooru has no heart to break, but that’s simply untrue.

Count your blessings, it goes 1,2,3, me

Word count: 7k

Summary: He's unsettled by the undefined boundaries of their relationship so it's all his luck that he accidentally wins three wishes to be granted just for him, and all that comes to mind is Iwaizumi.

Quote: Now, as an adult, past convenience of circumstance and the haze of hormonal lust, exactly none of his feelings have worn off

♡♡♡the courtship ritual of the hercules beetle

Word count: 66k

Summary: Tooru is pretty sure he could manage the mating habits of a mosquito. It’s the mating habits of people he can’t seem to get right.

♡days fall away

Word count:17k

Summary: Except now he’s back home, so close to his old haunts and to Oikawa himself, and it's—weird.

Quote: “You and Tooru,” he begins, and then shrugs. “I was just thinking, you look at each other a lot.” And he walks away, leaving Hajime winded, and sort of aching, somewhere deep in his chest. Whatever that means.

♡here comes your man

Word count: 8k

Summary: Iwa-chan, it reads, Have a good day today! Good luck! <3 <3 <3 Suga chokes. It’s hard to imagine anyone calling the scowling and fierce Doctor Iwaizumi “Iwa-chan.” But marriage probably comes with all sorts of liberties. Doctor AU

♡♡In damp earth my body

Word count: 15k

Summary: Onscreen, the nation’s favorite setter has arranged himself so that he’s bowing, forehead pressed to the court, like he’s thanking everyone for their kindness thus far, like he’s asking for forgiveness. Hajime thinks: shit, it’s really happening

In the Business of Love

Word count: 22k

Summary: Meet Oikawa Tooru: He's a best-selling shoujo manga artist, a hardcore romantic and you won't believe where he's getting his lovey dovey fodder from...Enter Iwaizumi Hajime: He's Oikawa's best friend, a realist who also happens to be a wedding magazine writer despite not believing in romance...

Quote: A flare of pride lit in Oikawa as he watched Iwaizumi's eyes crinkle with mirth and in that yawning second, it bloomed into a warmth that bordered on a burn, forcing a bittersweet inhale.

it's been so long (nobody knows me the way you do)

Word count: 8k

Summary: Tooru hums, only half-listening. Somewhere along the way, Hajime’s palm has settled itself over the curve of Tooru’s cheek, thumb tracing over the line of his jaw.

Quote: Iwaizumi blushes even more. “That you’re here, I mean. I’m happy that you’re here. With me.”

♡♡♡Mint

Word count: 19k

Summary: It's the December after Iwaizumi’s last year in university when Tokyo welcomes him with a new ad campaign for Bright Days toothpaste, and Oikawa Tooru—fresh off a run at the 2016 Summer Olympics—has decided to grace the city with his signature grin, a flip of his wayfarer sunglasses, and the most irrepressible tag line for the signboard above.

Quote: "To be able to tell him, in the new year."  This comes under Oikawa's breath, so low that Matsukawa and Hanamaki can't hear, and the game continues.

Six-Month Lover

Word count: 89k

Summary: Iwaizumi barks out a laugh. “I’m still trying to get over the fact that you made a PowerPoint presentation about why we should date.” Oikawa doesn’t tell him the file has existed for the last twelve years, constantly receives updates, and that the original copy contained almost a hundred slides before he forced himself to get a grip.

Special Relativity

Word count: 22k

Summary: Time moves differently for people in different inertial reference frames. Oikawa goes on a two-year exploratory mission in space. Iwaizumi's been waiting for a lot longer than that.

♡♡sunset towns

Word count: 33k

Summary: In the summer of 2020, Oikawa Tooru returns home from his first successful stint as captain of Japan’s national volleyball team. In one hand, he holds the undisputed weight of an Olympic medal, and in the other, his unresolved feelings for a childhood best friend.

♡♡Thirty Years and Change (the Games of the XXXIII Olympiad)

Word count:     19k

Summary: It’s July 10th, 2024, and Oikawa Tooru is an Olympian. His smiling face airs on an NHK promo every 45 seconds. He’s captain of the national men’s volleyball team, reigning star of the professional leagues, and he hasn't spoken to Iwaizumi Hajime in two years.

Quote: Oikawa’s grin in  the last set of the morning’s game. Oikawa’s grin as they sat on their asses on a golf course. Oikawa’s grin when they were in college. When they were in high school. When they were twenty-two, seventeen, fifteen, twelve, six.

High School

Bet On It

Word count: 13k

Summary: Hajime knows exactly how shitty Oikawa's personality is, and has no scruples whatsover about betting Oikawa six thousand yen that he can't be nice for an entire week.

Quote: The whole instant-compliance thing was seriously creeping him out. Oikawa from a week ago would have made a crack about how if he'd wanted something cold, he could have just put his face on Hajime's shoulder.

Betweens

Word count: 2k

Summary: Iwaizumi is asleep in the club room. Oikawa is blindingly awake in the club room. The sun moves slowly across the sky, and Iwaizumi’s skin is gold underneath it. Oikawa watches the changing shadows on Iwaizumi’s face and thinks about nothing in particular.

Don’t think too much

Word count: 6k

Summary:  In which Oikawa and Iwaizumi have a confusing, drunken encounter and then deal with the (sticky) consequences.

Quote: As soon as that thought crossed his mind, though, Oikawa did what he always did:  exactly the opposite of what Hajime wanted

Gates

Word count: 12k

Summary: The day after their graduation ceremony, they drive to the beach at Shirahama. Iwaizumi drives, because it’s his car, and as he has told Oikawa on multiple occasions, he’d rather die than let him touch the wheel.

Quote: ‘Yeah,’ he says, because they’re on a beach, and they’re supposed to be on a metaphorical journey, and they’re supposed to be growing up, and completing rites of passage, so it’s honesty, today - just for today, at least.

♡♡i sing the body electric

Word count: 8k

Summary: It was never part of the plan, falling in love with his best friend, but then again, most things in Iwaizumi’s life that involve Oikawa rarely unfold the way he thinks they will.

Quote: But Iwaizumi thinks about Oikawa laughing with that girl in the low light of the gym, a particular kind of quiet intimacy that Iwaizumi’s only ever read about in books hovering in the air, and all it makes him feel is small and petty and spiteful.

it’s better than words

Word count: 3k

Summary: [ or : oikawa makes iwaizumi participate in three bonding activities for new friends, and iwaizumi just wants to know why oikawa's being so weird about this]

Make sure you cross the line

Word count: 4k

Summary: With graduation just around the corner, Iwaizumi knows he has to gather the courage to really ask Oikawa out.

Quote: He’s been asking Iwaizumi to go out with him every single day this past week, increasingly panicked about getting his time and attention now that they’re nearing the end of this season of their lives.

Only the jellyfish know

Word count: 6k

Summary: Their third and final year at Aoba Jousai has come to an end, and the guys decide to go to the beach the day after graduation. That day, the ocean water is salty, the watermelon is sweet, and the people are sweeter.

static

Word count: 6k

Summary: Being snowed in with all of Seijou volleyball in his childhood home brings back a lot of memories for Iwaizumi, because it's kinda Oikawa's childhood home too.

Quote: It's fate that brought them together and choice that keeps them that way. The closest description in Hajime’s vocabulary is partners, but only because Oikawa taught him what its true definition is.

Told before and told again

Word count: 3k

Summary: This is how Hajime and Tooru fall in love, through the accounts of those around them.

Quote: When Oikawa lets out a long, heavy breath, Iwaizumi looks up at him and frowns, and flings a towel over Oikawa’s head to cover his face. Then, he tugs, once, on Oikawa’s fingers, and leads him down the hallway, Oikawa walking quietly in tow.

♡we can do better than that

Word count: 16k

Summary: Oikawa and Iwaizumi go on a road trip during the summer after their high school graduation. It doesn't go as expected, but maybe that's not such a bad thing after all.

Quote: Because Iwaizumi’s known Oikawa nearly all his life and never felt anything more than vague affection usually followed by intense irritation for him. But then suddenly at eighteen years old and nearly two weeks into a very badly planned road trip, it’s like someone flipped a switch somewhere inside Iwaizumi

♡when it starts to rain, they go inside

Word count: 33k

Summary: “Where?” starts Iwaizumi.“ My parent’s old lakehouse, silly, didn’t you hear me the first time?” OR: Oikawa takes Iwaizumi to his lakehouse for two weeks, post-graduation.

reassemble it

Word count: 15k

Summary: When Tooru was six years old, he discovered—unbeknownst to him at the time—two of the most important things in his life: volleyball and Iwaizumi Hajime. It was ironic that he had stumbled upon them hand in hand—quite literally, too.

♡things that change, things that stay the same

Word count: 8k

Summary: Oikawa realizes he's in love with his best friend; it sucks for a while. (But only a while.)

Quote: Iwaizumi’s expression right now is less terrified than it used to get back then, but he’s tight-lipped with concern, and his broad body blocks out other passengers as if their stares might be a danger to Tooru too.

University AU

An Archaeology of Affection

Word count: 23k

Summary: For Hajime, it is a riddle and simultaneously so evident. It fills his chest, surging like water, paints heat up his neck. In retrospect, it eats up his days, makes them its own until it feels like his heart has always been in his throat at the smile thrown over Oikawa’s shoulder, the stilling of his fingers on Hajime’s sleeve.

closure

Word count: 22k

Summary: In his first year of university, Oikawa builds a new friendship and upgrades an old one. Or: Ushijima is not a great wingman, but he tries his best.

Quote: “On the first day of his university career, Oikawa Tooru walks into his dorm, spots his assigned roommate, and turns one hundred and eighty degrees and walks right back out. He dials a familiar phone number - the first one he ever memorized - and starts complaining before Iwaizumi even gets the chance to say hello. “Iwa-chan,” he says, “tell me why Ushiwaka is in my dorm room.”

♡♡♡galaxies, within you

Word count: 21k

Summary: Hajime and Tooru move in together at the start of university. Too bad they’re stuck with the two gremlins that haunt their apartment.

Quote: I AM A HEADASS

Hands to yourself

Word count: 11k

Summary: He missed his parents, and he missed Takeru, and Takeru's badly behaved puppy. He missed Aoba Jousai, and he missed the volleyball team. He even missed Karasuno and Shiratorizawa, just a little.

Home, and how we made ours

Word count: 3k

Summary: “No, I like it here.” There’s a rustling as Iwaizumi shifts, inching closer. “I like it here, as in this crappy apartment—with you.”

Quote: “Do your fights end up being like—you know, about actual things and then extending into toddler days and suddenly you’re accusing Iwaizumi of kissing the girl you used to like in preschool?”

in progress to you

Word count: 6k

Summary: The eventuality of Oikawa and Iwaizumi falling toward each other is dramatically lackluster. Still, it's a process to go through.

Quote: “But what if you didn’t eat my pudding all the time?” Iwaizumi asks flatly, ignoring the way Oikawa is slapping his thigh to get out of his chokehold. “Do you think I buy them for you, huh? I buy them for me, you turd.”

Like we’re made of starlight

Word count: 6k

Summary: (a look into iwaizumi hajime’s journey of falling in love with oikawa tooru, from when they’re babies meeting for the first time to young adults moving in together.)

Ninety nine percent

Word count: 14k

Summary: more than anything, oikawa tooru wants to be with iwaizumi hajime, but he's only ninety nine percent of the way there.

Quote: Their ace was lining up for the ball, knees bent and arm pulled back, just as Tooru tosses the ball……to Hajime.

no sleep in the city

Word count: 7k

Summary: Along their journey to find Tokyo's best ramen, Iwaizumi finds himself asked again and again why Oikawa is still single.

Quote: “I was only telling Hanamaki literally yesterday that your personality isn’t as vile as before,” Iwaizumi informs, slightly stiff from the way Oikawa’s got an arm looped through his own. “Why do you make me such a liar to people I care about?”

Out of nowhere

Word count: 8k

Summary: They move in together after graduation and it's doing weird things to Iwaizumi's heart. He's a little in denial about it.

Quote: Oikawa excitedly ran up to him when Iwaizumi came home with groceries the other day. Not about the food but just to say how boring everything is when Iwaizumi's not there, eyes shining, and he couldn't meet his gaze after from blushing down to his neck. He doesn't know how much more he can take.

♡♡shiver

Word count: 16k

Summary: Oikawa was always the brave one. Hajime just followed two paces behind.

Quote: “I’m in love with you,” Oikawa tells him three days after they graduate junior high, head in his lap and hands gently folded over his chest and completely and totally unconcerned that he’d just shattered Hajime’s world.

Terpischore

Word count: 38k

Summary: They’d ended up going to different universities, Tooru and he. The distance was good for them. The confession Hajime dropped in both their laps wasn’t. That’s how it’d ended – a lifetime of friendship crumbled to dust in the space of five minutes. (Or, a lesson in learning to move on from things you can't have, in finding old loves in new ways and in understanding that life is never truly simple... till it is.)

terrarium

Word count: 11k

Summary: At this point, is he really happy with just staying best friends forever? Will he be writing journals and collecting rocks forever (he will, he knows, but that is aside from the point)?

these foolish things (remind me of you)

Word count: 3k

Summary: Oikawa helps Iwaizumi move into his new college dorm.

Quote: He’s desperate for something to happen. It must show on his face because Iwaizumi blushes and looks away. The thing is, Oikawa always looks at him like this when Iwaizumi isn’t paying attention.

They say it rains diamonds on Jupiter

Word count: 35k

Summary: "You're in love with him. "Hajime considers denying it. "Yeah," he says instead.

Quote: “Share the weight of your feelings with me, Hajime wants to beg when he hears Tooru's first hitched breath. Let me carry some of your burdens”

to be first, to be best

Word count: 26k

Summary: Hajime is apparently something of a masochist, and as he stares down at the tie-dyed AREA51 T-shirt in his hands, he thinks “I’m totally in love with this asshole, aren't I?”

Undecipherable

Word count: 4k

Summary: "Koi no yokan," he says. "The sense one can have upon first meeting a person that the two of you are going to fall in love."

Quote: Because for all the bravado, for all the flaunting Oikawa does, he wants Hajime by his side, and no one else.

♡we shine like diamonds

Word count: 26k

Summary: "You know Abe-kun from class?" they snicker, hands cupped around their mouths like they're passing along a filthy secret. "I hear his older brother is... gay."

Where you are (I’ll be)

Word count: 6k

Summary: Theirs is a love that starts out like a seed and it takes two sets of hands tending it for a shoot to appear. There are no dramatic declarations of love, only a pair of hands that find each other again and again and again.

Quote: Oikawa broke off into giggles as Hajime slowed the descent of his hand from a slap to the back of Oikawa’s head to a gentle ruffle of the taller boy’s hair

♡♡with every second that you could give

Word count: 9k

Summary: The journey of Iwaizumi and Oikawa going for gold.

Quote: He knows they’re too close. Iwaizumi knows it too, and they both decided to move in together anyway.

Your love is sunlight

Word count: 6k

Summary: It's Iwaizumi's birthday, and they have a talk about the future.

Quote: But Hajime doesn’t think any present could top this: them, kissing in a sun-dappled bathroom, Oikawa’s skin warm under his hands, and the promise of a life together stretched out before them.

[starrose17]

Hey, I'm sorry if this comes off as invasive, but I'm legitimately curious...

How did you go from 'not being able to get over the brothers thing' to being super into a wincest ship?

Were you more comfortable with it as time went on, or was it really sudden?

Has it affected your feelings about irl incest?

Also, I've noticed that the content for this ship on your blog has been very horny, but with a lot of the previous ships you've posted on your blog have been more romance centered with the occasional sexy sex post. Is this because of the appeal of a new exciting genre with a twist of the 'forbidden fruit' thing, or do you just think this ship is hotter than the other shippings you have? Perhaps there is just more of better nsfw content of this ship that you like?

This isn't hate mail or bait, I'm a longtime follower and I'm just very curious on how your journey was discovering you're into something this Taboo and how it's affected your feelings of incest overall.

Again I'm very sorry if this came off as invasive or rude. Thank you for your time and if you'd prefer to answer me privately, I can always DM you!

Have a lovely day :3

lol No no that’s fine, but it does make me laugh, in a rather disturbed way, when people ask the question of “has it affected how you feel about incest in real life?”.  

The very FACT that anyone has to ask that says more about the askee, than it does about the person they are asking.  Do I suddenly want to start fucking my own brother or sister? Of course bloody not!  I’m an adult human being who can tell the difference between fantasy and reality and just because i’ve started shipping two fictional brothers, played by actors who are not brothers ,I haven’t suddenly started looking at my brother going ohh yeah I want a piece of that ass (oh god i actually shuddered even typing that).  

Those that ask that question give off more of a vibe of panic of “omg i’m gonna start wanna fucking my brother if i start shipping wincest aren’t i omg NO! EVIL! SIN! THESE PEOPLE MUST BE GROSS BECAUSE I’M THINKING THAT I’D WANT TO FUCK MY BROTHER IF I EVEN START THINKING ABOUT WINCEST!”  

I mean honestly, the ones who scream in anon “omg you’re so gross you ship wincest you must want to fuck your own siblings” I’m sure are also screaming into the inboxs of, say, Will Graham and Hannibal Lector shippers by saying, “Omg so gross you ship a cannibal you must go home and cut the legs of your family and eat them!”

No? Yeah, well that’s how ridiculous anyone asking if I now want to fuck my own siblings sounds like to everyone else.

Anyway, that answered that part of your Ask.  As for whether it was gradual or sudden, it was very sudden, as per the post I did at the time.

As for the content I reblog, I can’t control what’s out there, Supernatural has had 15 years to accumulate all sorts of stuff and what I’m reblogging happens to be what I’m coming across, I honestly haven’t paid the slightest but of attention as to whether or not it’s “sexier” than of the fandoms I’ve posted about before.  Perhaps those others fandoms just haven't had sexier posts.

Basically, I don’t think any different about shipping Sam and Dean than I do about any other characters that I have ever shipped in my entire life, there is literally no difference, and I know this is a genuine and polite question and you’re not hating or anything, but I tell you what, having to constantly justify myself to anyone who pops into my Ask about this is really starting to piss me off.  And I’ve only been a shipper of them for one month! How people have survived for 15 years I bow to them I really do.

Anyway, I hope that answers what you need.

[softnaruto]

Overthinking*

Overthinking* (AU)

(REPOST BC MY DUMBASS DELETED THE POST BY ACCIDENT)

author: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR REQUESTING THIS! This is my favorite piece of literature I have ever written for this blog specifically. I literately felt so alive while writing this! I hope you like it! It’s pretty long so I do hope you like it! I also know you specifically requested headcanons, but it was easier to write as a scenario! I am sorry about that! I also failed to mention this is an AU!

pairings: AU Shisui x female! reader (It could be gender-neutral too)

words: 1813

genre: angst & fluffy

warnings: jealousy, angst, and too much fluff

Black Lives Matter Petitions

Black Lives Matter Donations

(it is really long so it’s continued below the cut)

The cold wind made the shivers up your spine mutate into creatures of the night, scratching and roughly cutting into your skin as you ran through the streets, tightly holding two bags full of the appetizing junk food you had shockingly found at your local corner store. You allowed your scarf to blow through the wind as you looked ahead of you, capturing the gate of his apartment.

You slowed down, typing in the numbers to the small pin-pad laying on the gate before entering the apartment complex, rushing through the halls, and into the nearest elevator. You pushed the button to his floor, your finger clicking the button in careless desperation. The elevator closed in a seemingly ignorant manner, earning a disgruntled sigh from you.

Upon reaching his floor, you began running again, almost bumping into a couple that was entering the elevator. You squeaked an apology before turning your attention back to your whereabouts, finally reaching your destination. You knocked on his door, almost wanting to claw at the rundown paint as every second felt like an eternity.

The door opened with a loud groan and you were greeted with darkness. Your eyes searched for another pair in the darkness and you finally let out the breath of air you were unconsciously holding in. The eyes that stared back at you, once warm and inviting, were emotionless and cruel. You felt the air spill out of your lungs with desperation and you opened your mouth to speak, but to no avail. Nothing was appropriate for this type of meeting.

You walked into his apartment, shrugging off the heavy feeling that had accumulated in your chest, before turning on one of the lights in his kitchen. You let the bags fall on the counter, removing the items carelessly.

“I brought you vanilla, chocolate, cookie dough, and cookies and cream ice cream,” Your voice was turning into mush as you began to name the countless things you had bought in a rush. You were met with silence.

You turned around to look at your best friend, eyes widening as you noticed his disheveled state. His eyes were surrounded by red, swollen skin, his shirt covered in smudges, and his sickly pale skin made his brokenness obvious. It wasn’t only emotionally painful, you had noticed, his pain had also manifested itself physically.  

You stopped removing the items from the bag, stepping away from the counter until you were in front of him. He had always been taller than you, fitter than you, and always had this well-put-together aura about him that always bothered you. He seemed much smaller now; his shoulders were hunched over, arms hanging down as if gravity were to pull them apart from his body at any minute, and his eyes that were once windows to a kind soul, were dull.

You pursed your lips, knowing that the jokes that were patiently sitting on your tongue weren’t appropriate. You reached for his hand, taking it in yours as you led him through his small apartment and onto the couch you had both found sitting at the corner of a street with a “Free” sign attached to it.

You let him sit down before sitting down next to him, leaning back and pulling him onto your chest. You held onto his lifeless body in hopes of comforting him, drawing random shapes onto his back. There was nothing to say and nothing to feel except for the pain that was radiating from him as he began to cry onto your shirt.

You had never seen him like this. Your best friend that you were hopelessly in love with was always a happy, go-lucky person. He was the one to lift others up, he was the one to appear with countless tubs of ice cream and nerdy jokes when someone was emotionally broken. It was never the other way around. Except this time, it was.

“Shisui—” You began saying, your voice barely above a whisper. You had no idea what you were going to say next and you hesitated, allowing your voice to drown in his tears.

“It’ll be okay.” You whispered, the soft hum of the television drowning out your hesitant words. For once you were thankful that the television was loud enough to drown the noise in the living room.

You had once wished for his television to be shut off. Back then his apartment was full of people, full of classmates and coworkers, full of… her. You were sitting on the same couch, with a soda in hand, observing him from afar. His arm was around her shoulders as he happily talked to someone irrelevant. That night, her hand held his with a love that was now confirmed to be a lie and all of the words you’d direct at him would submerge in the noise of the television, never to be heard of again.

Back then you hated his television, his apartment, his friends, and… his girlfriend. Ex-girlfriend.

“It’ll be okay, Shisui,” You whispered, running one of your hands through his messy hair, “Everything will be back to normal before you know it.”

“What’s normal?” The silence you had now grown accustomed to was disrupted by his voice, which had been beaten down to a frail whisper. Your eyes looked ahead and began noticing a frame holding a picture of his broken relationship. That was his normal, not yours. You had somehow forgotten that his normal was a life with her and her only.

“You’ll have your friends to rely on. You’ll hang out with Itachi and Kakashi,” Your voice wavered as your eyes fell upon another picture, one that had the both of you together. Your eyes traced the way his arm wrapped around your shoulder, just like it was on hers the one night you refused to remember. “You’ll have me.”

Why was it coming to you now? Why was the jealousy and pain you felt that night coming back to you?

Why did you feel like blurting out your feelings to him, confessing in a state of panic? Why did you want to take the pain away and comfort him in ways he never expected of you?

A kiss would be sufficient. The idea of kissing him was irresistible and yet you did not want to take advantage of his pain. You decided that you would never confess your feelings to him, as you bit your lip, trying to figure out your next move. Your next… lie.

Should you say that he would find someone else? Someone that wasn’t you?

“Y/N, it will never be the same.” Shisui lifted his head up, tears streaming down his cheeks as his eyes met yours. “She will never be the same to me. You know I could have forgiven her—I tried to forgive her for weeks—but every day I would wake up to the thought that maybe she was with him again. Am I not good enough? Am I really that shitty for her to want to be with other people?”

“No tou’re not, Shisui! She’s the shitty one.” You answered, becoming angry with the thought that Shisui would even feel as conflicted as he did before you. “You’re so thoughtful. You always do nice things for everyone and always prioritize others before yourself and…”

Why would he feel that way? Was he really so in love with her that he had become blind to his own kindness?

“Maybe I prioritized everyone but her.” Shisui’s words felt like poison as you tasted his hatred, and tears began filling your eyes as you couldn’t handle seeing him in pain any longer. Shisui’s eyes, his expression, had been crumbled into nothing but hatred. A hatred you had never experienced. “Maybe she just realized—"

“No, Shisui! You did not do that. In fact, you put her above everyone else! Honestly if I were her, I would have—” The words had slipped out. The words had slipped out of you as if someone had held a knife against your neck and forced you to confess. You stopped yourself from talking, wanting to swallow the childish words you had just blurted out.

“If you were her what, Y/N? If you were her what would you have done?” It was as if he was egging you on, trying to see what your next move would be. His dark eyes almost seemed a blood-red as he demanded an answer from you, his eyes slightly becoming soft as he realized that he was almost yelling at you, his face inches away from yours.

“I would have been with you forever.” Your voice was above a whisper, but for once, the television hadn’t swallowed your words. For once, he was in front of you, looking at you in a way he had never seen you before. In the way you had always seen him.

“Then prove it.” His voice had dropped to a whisper, a playful tint to his pain inflicted voice.

You couldn’t hold back anymore. As painful as it was to make a move under the circumstance, you felt yourself being pulled to him like a magnet. Your lips crashed against his with desperation at first, the salty taste bringing you back to your senses. You tried to lean back, immediately regretting your decisions, but was pulled back by a hand that had begun to caress your cheek. His lips met yours with a much softer greeting as his movements aligned with yours in a synchronized dance. His soft touch felt like fire against your skin and the pit of your stomach began to overflow with butterflies; his touch wasn’t the same anymore.

Shisui leaned back, his eyes wide in realization as he looked into your shocked ones. You felt your heart drop at the thought of Shisui not feeling the exact same way. You felt yourself wanting to throw up as thoughts of him disappearing from your life began to flood your mind. You didn’t want to lose him—not even as a friend.

“I—I’m,” You stumbled over your words, not knowing whether to apologize or to leave. You looked around you; you had no way out. He was encircling you, his hands on your cheeks, warmth so hot it could burn your skin.

“No, don’t say anything,” Shisui answered, his voice much stronger than it had been that entire day; much stronger than it had been that entire month. As he looked into your eyes, the eyes that he always looked at with such adoration, he came upon a realization.

It wasn’t her. It never was and never would be.

“Y/N.” Shisui breathed, trying to find the right words to say without pushing you away.

He wasn’t sure if it was in the moment, if your kiss and advances were in the moment, but he didn’t care. He had come upon a realization too important to be disregarded.  

“I love you.”

[sombreboy]

Love Maze »22

Previous  » Next Series Masterlist ▎ 18+ ▎ pairing: Taehyung x Jungkook ▎ genre: School AU, crack humor, smut, angst, ETL, slow burn, fluff. ▎ word count: 8.8k ▎ ch.warnings:  profanity, chaotic humor, unhealthy drinking habits, drinking, talk of anxiety, koo has a mild anxiety attack, angst, fluff tae is the best bf i busted at least 3 uwus editing this, dirty talk, public bathroom fucking and koo is somewhat of an exhibitionist, in this chapter I present dom!koo and sub!tae but tae is also a damn brat smh (they switchin it up often lmao), I had second hand embarrassment during the sudden daddy kink but here we go enjoy it's kind of hot, DADDY kink, oral, anal (PLEASE USE LUBE IRL THIS IS FICTION WHY WOULD YOU EVEN--), tae's muscle kink shines through, soft fluffy rotten sweetness. ok that's it I think; post.

Co-writer: @velvetwicebang​​​​​​​​ ♡♡♡

The following day was spent chilling around the apartment; playing video games, cuddling, until it was time to start getting ready for the sudden dinner that came about yesterday. Luckily everyone was free despite the short notice. They were out the door soon after, coincidentally bumping across Namjoon and Jisoo at the same time. The pair seemed overly excited, which only rubbed off on Taehyung’s much more composed persona. The elder was excited, but the thought of yesterday’s findings were still fresh. He did a decent job of masking it, though. Tonight was going to be a great night.

So far, Tae was right. As he sat around a dimly lit table surrounded by their chatty friends, Taehyung felt at ease. The sound of the grill’s light sizzling served as background noise.

“So yeah, she finally let me fondle her boobs.” Hoseok mumbled through a mouthful of meat, the alcohol in his system making him all the more shameless. “I love her to pieces, sex is not all I think about. But.. you know. I’m a guy with needs.”

Taehyung chuckled, bringing up a glass of water to his parched mouth.

“Kook, why are you not drinking?” Jimin noticed, filling up a glass for the younger. “Let loose, come on!”

Jungkook chewed his spoonful of rice, his doe eyes had been glancing at the others drinks more than he should've. He swallowed tightly, bumping his fist on his chest to make sure it went down properly. And conveniently, the drink Jimin poured him seemed awfully alluring. ''Ah, well...'' Kook glanced over at Taehyung for a split second, shrugging. It was a special occasion after all, one drink couldn't hurt. He would drink responsibly. ''Yeah, why not.'' He grabbed his glass and slowly brought it to his lips, tilting his head back to get a taste. Why was it like an itch in his soul was being scratched the very second he swallowed down the bitter drink? No matter, it was just this once.

“Tae, earth to Tae. I wasn’t done,” a tipsy Hoseok repeatedly tapped on the younger’s shoulder, not too thrilled that Taehyung shifted his focus to something else. Jungkook, to be more specific. Taehyung attentively watched him down most of the strong drink in one go, pausing his eating to keep a close eye on Kook, one hand softly caressing the younger’s rigid thigh from underneath the table.

“Taehyung, are you alright?” Since she was sat right across from him, Jisoo had a proper view of Tae’s worried antics.

“Huh? Sorry, yeah. I am.” He quietly sighed, trying to not be affected by the loud, famished gulps coming from beside him. Despite the younger telling him that there was nothing to worry about, Tae had a hard time believing him.

“Anyways—“

“Hoseok, we don’t want to hear about your sex life.” Yoongi hissed once he sat down his empty glass. “my bad, your nonexistent sex life.”

Jin laughed, but stopped just as quickly when Hoseok turned to glare at him. Taehyung would’ve laughed as well if he wasn’t so caught up in his thoughts, but it seemed impossible to think of anything else. Jungkook was several drinks down at this point, obviously not keeping his initial promise to himself of 'just one drink'. But it was fine, he wasn't out of control. He knew what he was doing. At least that's what he thought, but then again; he was visibly drunk at this point. Kook listened in on his hyungs antics, paying only half of his attention at them, the main focus being how fucking good he felt, simply embracing the simplicity of feeling numb. Every single worry he'd had the past few months were finally being drowned by the alcohol in his system. Kook downed the last of his drink, his hazy eyes glancing over at his boyfriend. Taehyung is so gorgeous, it was all he wanted to focus on.

''Hey...'' He leaned in close, breath laced with the strong scent of alcohol that fanned Taehyung's ear as he spoke into it. ''You look really pretty in that tan you've worked up.''

Simply because Taehyung wasn’t surprised didn’t mean he wasn’t disappointed. At the rate Jungkook kept pouring his own drinks, Tae saw this coming; the slurred speech, his constricted pupils— everything. “Jungkook, you’re drunk.” The elder muttered, not used to seeing his boyfriend in such a messy light. Before, Kook rarely got wasted. Was there some sort of pain the younger was experiencing? Something that made him want to feel absolutely nothing? “Here, have my water.” Taehyung knew Jungkook was already in too deep, but he wanted to help the only way he knew how.

“Damn, Jungkook’s drunk already?” Jin arched a brow, seeing Tae attempt to make his boyfriend drink a glass of cold water. The elder didn’t answer him, internally questioning if it wasn’t already obvious enough. Of course Jungkook was drunk, the strong liquor exuding from the barely conscious male was pungent.

Jungkook grabbed the glass of water, taking a gulp of it before realizing that it was just that; water. He frowned, putting the glass back down on the table. He wasn't that drunk-- in his own opinion. ''mm fine,'' He slurred, eyes unfocused as they flickered between his hyungs, looking for one thing only; another drink. He was in control, he was fine. ''I want more soju--'' He whined, reaching for one unopened bottle on the table to grasp it in his hand.

Taehyung’s instincts were quick to latch his fingers around Jungkook’s wrist, stopping him from reaching towards another enticing bottle of the heavily loved beverage. “Kook, I think you’ve had enough..” Taehyung mumbled, standing up from his spot and swinging one of his boyfriend’s arms around his shoulders, steadying him on his wobbly feet. He was wasted. Just how many more drinks did he sneak in?

“Leaving already?” Jisoo’s brows frowned, pouting her lips once Tae answered her with a short nod of his head.

“Yeah, he’s out of it.” The elder sighed in defeat, reaching for his car keys in the front pocket of his pants before bidding goodbye to their friends.

“Kook, come on. Help me out here.” Taehyung grunted as he practically dragged him outside, receiving a series of dirty glances from a few tables. He guessed it was a bit off seeing this in a somewhat fancy place, but Tae didn’t care. All he cared about was getting Jungkook into his car without any scratches. And that’s what he did. Once he’d buckled in his sweaty boyfriend, Taehyung walked over to the other side before plopping down on the driver’s seat.

“Jungkook, what the hell is going on..?” He brushed away the strands of hair that stuck on to the younger’s forehead, a buildup of concern accumulating in his chest. Jungkook leaned back against the headrest with a sigh, the sweat on his temples catching strands of his dark hair. His eyes were glazed over with his drunken haze, the initial good feeling subsiding as he heard more clearly than Taehyung was not happy. It's crazy how alcohol could swing your mood into a totally different direction of emotions, amplifying them a tenfold. He started to feel like shit.

"Nothings going on.." Koo attempted, but it wasn't convincing, his voice unstable. Kook's gaze was fixed on the nothingness in front of him, and he felt the worries he'd been trying to momentarily stomp down creep up on him in the form of anxiety. He'd had issues with his anxiety attacks every now and then-- even Tae had seen it first hand once. Maybe twice. But since Jungkook had found out that drinking did help, it felt like a remedy he'd grown attached to. Even if it was just temporary. But now, it just felt like he fucked up. He couldn't even hold his promise to himself of not drinking for one day. One fucking day. Kooks breathing quickened as he wasn't sure what to do or say, the confined space suddenly felt suffocating, eyes flickering between objects in the car while clawing at his thighs. "Shit..."

“Jungkook, hey..��� Taehyung’s warm hand slid down to caress Jungkook’s cheek, the sweat on the younger’s pale skin making his thumb’s glide close to effortless. “Baby, take a deep breath.” His other hand reached for his boyfriend’s strained one, pressing a hint of pressure on Jungkook’s lap to stop it from bouncing in place. Hating seeing the younger in such a helpless state, Tae leaned forward to engulf him in his arms, cupping the back of Jungkook’s head with his palm. “Kook, I’m worried. Really fucking worried...” He mumbled against the boy’s temple, tightly closing his eyes whilst he listened to his boyfriend’s breathing slowly go back to normal. Still, Jungkook was far from ‘normal’.

Something was off, and it killed Taehyung not knowing.

Jungkook's shaky breath slowed down to what was deemed mostly normal, his hands immediately switching from clawing his thighs to grasping Taehyungs shirt. Pressing his body closer, he felt himself calm down further, the slow spin of his drunken state causing his body to want to rock back and forth-- but keeping himself in place through Tae. Kook pressed his forehead against the elders shoulder, taking one deep breath after the other. This was embarrassing as fuck. "I wanna go home..." He didn't want to talk yet. Not here, not now. He knows if he was pressured further, he'd spill too much, and the last thing he wanted was to worry his boyfriend further. Although, it seemed a bit too late for that. Maybe he just... should say something. "I'm just really stressed out lately..."

Taehyung wanted to ask him.. to dig deeper into what was causing the clear signs of stress but he bit down on his tongue. Jungkook was in no position to go into specifics, and Tae was going to respect that no matter his urges. “Yeah, let’s go home.” With one last squeeze to the younger’s thigh, Taehyung turned his keys before driving off to the one place they both needed— especially Kook. The younger desperately needed a good night’s sleep, and some aspirin.

As they finally arrived at home, Jungkook was guided by his boyfriend up the tedious stairs. By the time they arrived in the apartment, Jungkook had sobered up just a smidge, just enough to be able to walk on his own, even if it was a bit unsteady. ''Thanks babe.'' he muttered, leaning in to place a lazy kiss on his cheek before trying to walk without help, managing enough as he headed towards the kitchen, kicking off his shoes on the way. He felt sweaty, running his fingers through his hair, fucking exhausted.. He opened the fridge out of habit, this time looking for anything but a drink, sighing when all he was met by was the alcohol. He closed it rather harshly before opting for a glass of water from the tap, keeping one hand on the sink as he chugs it down.

“Here, take this with it.” Taehyung handed Kook an aspirin he’d rummaged for in the pantry, running his hand through Jungkook’s noticeably sweaty hair, gently untangling the small knots that’d formed from how many times the younger’s fingers had swam past it. “Baby, come on. Let’s get you to bed.” With that being said, the elder slowly led his boyfriend to their shared bedroom, urging him to lay down on the edge of the bed whilst Tae worked on discarding Jungkook’s clothing. He pulled off his uncomfortable pants, leaving Kook in his pair of briefs without nothing on top. Quickly, Taehyung jumped in bed with the younger after he’d taken off his own attire, wanting nothing more than to feel their skin press up against one another from under the protective blanket. “Are you comfortable there? Or do you need me to move.” The elder asked, one of his hands resting atop Jungkook’s slightly rhythmical, broad chest as he leveled himself up on his elbow, staring down at his boyfriend with concern in his sharp eyes. “Jungkook, whatever’s stressing you out.. we’ll get through it together. Your problems are my problems.” Tae pressed a smooch on the boy’s sweaty cheek, allowing his sober lips to linger for a second too long.

Jungkook closed his eyes to cherish the soft kiss on his cheek, but his eyebrows were drawn together due to the clashing thoughts in his mind. "This is fine. Please stay close." He meekly replied, opening his eyes to glance at Tae through his hazy vision. The tenderness of his boyfriend was nice, and it made him feel at ease. Normally, the elder never knew what to say; but this time he said everything that was necessary for the younger to feel his walls crumble down. "I'm sorry... the past few months have been shit for me." Kook confessed suddenly, his chest heaving up and down as he placed his hand on his stomach, nervously rubbing at his clammy skin. "I barely afford my rent, using up my savings to keep this place while looking for a job every single day.. I was tired..am tired, and my anxiety got worse..." he glanced at Taehyung again with his glassy doe eyes. "I didn't want to worry you. And the drinking..." he rambled, mixing his thoughts together as he tried to speak, stumbling over his words, "it helped to ease my nerves."

Jungkook’s over the place ranting was what Taehyung needed to hear. He desperately sought for a reason that’d explain to him why his boyfriend had been acting a little off the last few days; why he’d been reaching for the nearest bottle instead of his phone. Tae felt guilty that he couldn’t be of much help; he was a phone call away but alcohol always did a better job of numbing one’s emotional pain. Taehyung’s shitty, cliché phrases of comfort didn’t compare. Perhaps what’d scared him the most was the brief mention of Jungkook’s worsening anxiety. He knew just how bad the younger’s anxiety attacks could get. On those rare occasions, Tae always knew how to properly calm his boyfriend down whenever he went through an episode of intense fear. The elder would gently rock him back and forth, whisper soothing words into his ear, and walk to the nearby store to get him a banana milk. Now that he was away, Jungkook was going through all of this shit by himself. If he was there, he’d be able to work and provide for him. His boyfriend wouldn’t be feeling this way.

Maybe it was selfish that he’d left..

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry you’re going through this.” Taehyung clenched his jaw, refusing to acknowledge the light shine of tears in his eyes. “Fuck, I can’t help but worry about you, you know..? And now that— Shit, I don’t know, I wish I could do something to help. Just, whenever you feel this way, please call me? Any time, I don't care. I'm here for you."

Jungkook remained silent for a moment to process Taehyung's words, a small smile growing on his lips, contrasting the tear glazed eyes. ''Okay.'' He rolled over to his side to face his boyfriend, wrapping an arm around the elders waist to pull him closer. They didn't have much time left until Tae left again for another few months-- and just the thought alone was terrifying. He didn't want to be without his one source of calmness in this entire mess called his life. ''Thank you... I will call you..'' he scuffed closer, trying to feel Tae as much as possible, not caring about his sweaty skin sticking to the other males, ''I love you.''

“Love you too.” Whenever Taehyung said that to him, he meant it with his fucking heart. It’s because of Jungkook that his life is far from dull, far from unbearable. He’s matured so much, and he owes it all to the man next to him. “It’s crazy how much I love you..” Tae mindlessly thought out loud, delicate fingers fumbling with the silver loop in one of Jungkook’s ears. “I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love you— well, except my mom, but..” He sighed, forcing on a small smile to not kill the mood completely. “I’m gonna marry you one day. That’s a promise.” Taehyung couldn’t hold it in. “The moment it’s legalized, I’m gonna marry you.”

Jungkook swore his heart either stopped or skipped a beat as soon as Taehyung's words left his mouth.

The younger honestly never thought those words would ever be heard from Tae. But just the thought of being bound together for the rest of their lives... sounded nothing short of perfect. They were practically glued to each other already. ''Yeah?'' Jungkook's smile was beaming, the familiar bunny teeth on display as he leaned in to press his smiling lips on Taehyung's, ''I can't wait to marry you then. '' The idea of marriage had never really struck the younger previously, but he knew one thing for sure; if he was marrying anybody in his lifetime, it'd be Kim Taehyung. ''I love you,'' Jungkook repeated as he moved back to his original position on his back, sighing in content. ''I'm so lucky to have you...'' He mumbled, feeling his eyelids growing heavier and heavier, murmuring affectionate nothings until he eventually falls asleep.

~

~

“I think I got everything.” Taehyung mumbled more so to himself, looking over at Jungkook once more to reassure him that everything was going to be fine. His boyfriend’s anxiety was off the roof. “Babe, I’ll be—“

A nasally voice in the blaring announcements cut him short, “Due to weather conditions, flight number BA2490 set to depart to San Jose, California will be delayed for an hour. We apologize for the sudden change of plans, as the safety of our passengers is top priority.”

Taehyung turned to look at Jungkook. “Well, guess we’re stuck together for one more hour.” He was happy, the more time he got to spend with Kook the better. “Wanna get something to eat? Anything to be close to you.”

Jungkook's pounding heart suddenly felt at ease at the extra hour provided, his wide grin growing as he clung to Taehyung's arm. ''Sure, let's eat... But I really have to use the bathroom first.'' He pulled the elder with him to follow, heading inside the bathroom stalls that were surprisingly empty. Letting go of Tae, he headed into one of the stalls and closed the door behind him. ''Stay guard, these doors are unreliable as hell.'' He snickered, the echoing sound of the younger undoing his zipper striking the tiled room.

“Hmkay.” Taehyung lazily leaned his back against the door, pulling out his phone to tap on the first game he saw. “What do you feel like eating? This airport’s big as hell.” The slashing sounds coming from his speaker echoed throughout the surprisingly empty bathroom, as well as his deep curses underneath his breath. “Shit, I totally had that guy! What the fuck.” Tae was heavily engrossed in his addicting game, oblivious to the sound of the toilet flushing whilst his thumbs moved to the speed of lightning, trying to sneak in a win before they ate lunch.

All while Jungkook stood in the bathroom stall, he listened to Taehyung spit out curse after curse at his games, the occasional groan and sigh in frustration hitting a part of the younger that he didn't exactly recognize. It wasn't pure lust, nor pure feelings; but a heavy mix of the two. He was gonna miss Tae so much. He'd miss hearing the constant foul words thrown in random directions at useless things, he'd miss the random snarky comment about any of Jungkook's shenanigans. He fucking loved him so much.

"Tae..." Jungkooks voice had lowered several octaves at this point as he peeked out the stall door, waiting for his boyfriend to approach. The elder did, phone still tightly in his hands as he mindlessly walked closer to Kook. "Hey," Jungkook opened the door further to allow himself to reach out with a strong arm to grab Taehyung by the collar to roughly pull him inside, pushing his boyfriend's back against the door to slam it shut, pressing his muscular body against Tae's with both his palms firmly pressed adjacent to the elders head in a caging manner. He took a moment to just stare into his boyfriends confused eyes, giving him a small smile before leaning in to press their lips together in a needy kiss.

Taehyung’s perplexed persona diminished the moment Jungkook’s lips clashed against his with a force so strong it had him whining into the kiss, hands instinctively clinging on to his boyfriend’s shirt to keep himself balanced.

‘Oh, so that’s what he wants.’

The elder didn’t need to verify to know what was going on, or what Kook had in that mind of his. The latter’s sexual hormones were off the roof, and their desperate make out session was only the beginning. “Baby, hmm..” As quickly as he pulled away, Taehyung went in for seconds, and thirds, possibly fourths until he rested his forehead against Jungkook’s, the love in his eyes overflowing for the man in front of him. “Fuck me.” Tae breathed out, a hue of red washing over his face. “I wanna remember the shape of your cock, fuck, just.. wanna feel it really deep inside of me. Want you to wreck me..” He bit back a pathetic moan at the mere thought, “can you do that and more, baby? Shit.. I really wanna hear you talk me through what you’re gonna do to me..”

"Yes," Jungkook confirmed with his breathy, raspy voice, "wanna shove my cock so deep inside your tight ass..." he pauses to groan quietly when his hands roamed down to snake underneath the elders shirt, smoothing his warm hands up his soft stomach, "over and over until your insides are ruined. You will still feel me all the way back on that plane." Kook moans shamelessly, trailing possessive kisses and lovebites down Taehyung's neck. His hands travel back down to impatiently undo his boyfriends pants, his own never buttoned up from using the bathroom. He peels Tae's pants down along with his underwear, granting the younger access to grasp his fat length, giving it a few tasteful pumps. "Gonna make you cum so much on this filthy floor just by how well I'm gonna fuck you.. sound good?.. first, on your knees baby. Get me nicely hard and wet for you."

“You’re already hard and wet for me..” A sly smirk tugged at the corner of Taehyung’s lips once he’d annoyingly corrected Jungkook, wanting to be a brat before he became his possessive boyfriend’s play toy. However, the bulge poking at the younger’s pants shut him up real quick. “Sounds fucking amazing.” At the same time he gradually leveled down to his knees, Taehyung’s hands flirtatiously slid down from Jungkook’s strong chest to his thighs, where he looked up at the younger with innocent eyes. “So hard..” He lightly squeezed at his clothed cock, rubbing at the sensitive spot with his palm. “I want my insides ruined, yeah.. fuck that’s hot. Wanna have a big limp by the end of it too..” The greedy elder leaned in to press open mouthed kisses along the significant bulge, wetting the fabric of Jungkook’s jeans. When he was pleased, Tae pulled down his boyfriend’s pants and boxers in one go, nearly getting dick-smacked in the process. He placed a sweet kiss onto the same swollen tip that’d be recklessly fucking into his guts, all the while keeping his eyes trained on Kook from his spot on the dirtied ground. After spitting into his large hand, Taehyung eagerly wrapped his fingers around the thick girth, starting to pump his boyfriend at a slow pace. “So hard...”

"Fuck, yes... I'm so hard for you, my cock is aching.." Jungkook voiced out his pleasures, amplifying his words with a breathy moan the second he felt the welcoming warmth of Tae's hand firmly wrapped around him. "You make me feel so good, always-- I bet your little hole is clenching around nothing for me, Tae." Kook breathes out, suddenly much more vocal than he normally would be in real life. His conversational dirty talk reminded them more of their FaceTime sessions, where all they had was visuals and words. Mixing his talent for words with the real thing? It felt really fucking good. Jungkook towered over his boyfriend, leaning his palms against the stall door as he looked down at the way Tae eagerly stroked his cock, the tip already providing a slick sound to ease the glide.

“Hmm.. it’s clenching hard..” Taehyung bit down on his lip, curling his long fingers tighter around Jungkook’s wet cock, smoothing his hand over from the base to the tip. “Feel that, baby? I’m even tighter.. even warmer.” Tae picked up his speed, still staring up at his boyfriend with fake innocence swirling within his hooded eyes. “Fuck I’m clenching so hard.. wanna fuck your cock ‘till it goes limp...”

Taehyung's filthy words draw a series of hissed curses from the younger's lips, his hips twitching before he vaguely fucks into Tae's hand for more friction. ''Shit.... Get up, I want to fuck you.'' Kook announces his needs, taking a step back as he uses his strong hands to grab his boyfriend by the shoulders to pull him up on his feet. Swiflty, he turns Taehyung around and pushes his chest against the stall door, one hand firmly pressing on his back to keep him still while the other tugs at his boyfriends pants to pull them down, exposing his firm, yet plump ass. ''Pretty, my pretty baby.'' Jungkook cooes, both his hands now smoothing down Taehyung's back until they land on the fleshy part of his ass to squeeze, ''Want me to stretch you baby?''

“Y-yes.. please,” the elder squeaked out, naughtily wiggling his exposed ass as an invitation to his fleshy, snug insides. “Stretch me out good.. daddy.” God, Taehyung wanted to smack himself at that moment. Why the hell would he call Jungkook that? He was thankful his heaving chest was pressed up against the door, Tae’s face was beat red and he’d rather die than look into his boyfriend’s doe eyes after what he’d whined out. “Put it in, please..” Both of his hands unglued themselves from the stall door, instead reaching down to spread his cheeks, giving Jungkook a wide, intimate view of what he was missing out on.

Jungkook's eyebrows twitched up in a surprised look for a second at the new term. Daddy? That's a first... ''Yeah? You want daddy to shove his fat cock in your little hole?'' Jungkook tested the new title, he felt his cock throb at the use. Oh yeah, he definitely enjoyed it. Who would've thought.. ''My sweet Taehyung, fuck you look so good...'' He groaned, eyes fixed on his boyfriends clenching, pink ass. Kook spat in his hand, bringing the wetness to his cock and stroked himself, bringing his fingers of the other hand to his mouth to do the same and brings it down to spread his saliva around the rim of Tae's ass. Slowly, but impatiently, he stretched and teased the hole until he managed to sink a finger inside, still keeping the slow pace of stroking himself to the sounds he's drawing out from the elder.

From the way Jungkook’s deep tone of voice lowered even more at the new term, Tae could tell his boyfriend was a dirty, dirty man. “Kook.. oh fuck— ahh..!” Taehyung sucked the life out of the younger’s finger, clenching down on the single digit as hard as he possibly could. He slowly began rocking his hips, fucking himself on the small offering his boyfriend granted him with. Still, it wasn’t enough. Taehyung didn’t feel it ripping through his insides, parting his walls to make room— It irked him. “Daddy, you’re being annoying right now..” He huffed past his nostrils, his patience wearing thin the longer Jungkook’s dick spent not being inside of him. The elder swore he was going crazy.

Jungkook's breathy chuckle was almost mocking, a part of the younger that had ignited inside of him in this setting that hadn't been as evident previously suddenly surfaced. He might be a bit into being the superior, making his boyfriend feel small and needy. Nothing made Jungkook's cock ache as hard as hearing the elder whine for him. It was a good contrast to their regular dynamic-- even to the other times where Jungkook would be on the submissive end; which he loved. Supposedly, they both were switches. No, definitely. But this? Jungkook couldn't get enough. He wanted all versions of Kim Taehyung. ''Tae... You want me to fuck you that badly? Impatient-- fuck.. you're squeezing me tight.'' Kook practically drooled at the feeling, sinking in a second finger, fucking them into his boyfriend before adding a third. No more-- he wanted to keep it tight for his cock. ''How badly do you want my cock to stuff you full and destroy you?'' He huffed, eyes hazy with lust as he watches his fingers disappear into Tae's slick hole, amazed by how his fingers gradually got wetter with every thrust, glistening and dripping in the elders' juices.

“So badly— yeah, just like that.. fuck.” The feeling of Jungkook’s fingers sinking into him time and time again turned Tae into a moaning mess. It was expected, anything his boyfriend did turned him into pure putty, just waiting for Kook to mold him as he pleases. “W-want you to rip me open ‘till I’m crying. Please, can’t take all the teasing..” A hint of desperation laid evident in his brittle voice, the arousal for the younger man’s harsher touch getting awfully painful to ignore. “Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me raw..!” Taehyung was chanting underneath his heavy breath, officially turning into the lusting madman he was afraid he would.

Truthfully, Jungkook struggled to keep the teasing going as well. He loved watching the elder fall apart for him, but what he loved even more was to hear Taehyung's desperate cries in pleasure as he's fucked raw. And how could he deny his lover when he begged so well? He couldn't. J ungkook gave the tight hole one last punishing thrust of his fingers before ripping them out with a wet pop, quickly replacing the emptiness in his boyfriends stretched hole with the swollen tip of his cock. "Gonna fuck you raw until you're full of my cum," Kook groaned out his words as he placed both hands to firmly hold Taehyung's hips in place, pushing his hips forward until they meet Tae's fleshy cheeks, his thick length filling every little inch of the elders insides. With his cock buried as deep as physically possible, Jungkook remains still inside for a second to relish in the snug warmth embracing him, memorizing the feeling to the fullest. He closed his eyes, solemnly focusing on this moment where all he had to care about was to feel, not think. "You feel so good, so fuckin' good.."

Earlier, Taehyung had been growing more and more deprived of Jungkook’s touch. It got to a point where the impatient curses lingering at the tip of his tongue were on the verge of being heard— until Jungkook gradually pushed his fat cock inside of him. That’s all the elder wanted, but he’d be lying by saying the inward pull didn’t sting. His boyfriend’s dick was a handful, but it seemed to fit his slick insides like a glass slipper. It was as if it was purposely made for Tae’s sexual enjoyment, no one else’s. “Oh fuuuck.. oh my god.” Taehyung felt his flexible walls slowly get torn apart, stretching to make room for Jungkook’s hefty cock. “Fuck, baby.. am I warm enough~?” He purposely clenched down harder around him, “Am I tight enough for you, daddy?” Taehyung was shameless as he slowly fucked himself on the younger’s still dick, the muscles of his plump ass tensing every time he felt his boyfriend’s length twitch with every backward grind into Jungkook’s pelvis.

Jungkook's eyes fluttered open, the deep groan emitting from his throat was inevitable with the way Tae clenched down on his length. Kook's grip on his boyfriend's hips tightened, but instead of being a tease and stopping the elder, he did the opposite and pulled Tae's body down hard on his cock, simultaneously thrusting forward. The smacking sound of skin colliding echoed in the tiled room, the wet slick slide creating the most lewd noises; slowly getting drowned into the mix of Taehyung's moans. "You're more than enough babe, shit.." He huffed, his strong arms flexing as he leaned forward over his boyfriend, one hand still digging into the flesh of his hip; the other holding on to Tae's shoulder to force the elder to arch his back further. "You're everything, ah.. you're so good for daddy. Keep squeezing me like that."

Tae was thankful no one else was present, he wouldn’t be able to hold back his throaty moans even if he wanted to. “Hngh.. Jungkook you’re so good..” Taehyung’s spine bent towards the ceiling, causing the beads of sweat on his upper back to trickle down to the slight dip. After every one of his boyfriend’s harsh thrusts, Tae’s knees lightly gave out before he straightened his trembling legs, only to repeat the action with every electrifying prod of Jungkook’s tip against his weak prostate. “Jungkook fuck me harder, I’m begging you. A-ah..! P-pound into me, want everyone to envy me for having such a strong, buff boyfriend..”

Jungkook moaned in response to the pleading and praise. He thrusted his cock into Taehyung over and over, only withdrawing halfway before shoving himself back in as deep as their bodies physically allowed him to. Every time Kook slammed into his boyfriend, the latters ass jiggled beautifully from the momentum, drawing Kook's eyes in like a spell. He wanted to see more, watching Taehyung's body jolt forward and thud against the stall door was mesmerizing, especially with the lewd, throaty sounds he was forcing out of the elder. "You love how strong I am baby? Feel this, how good it feels to be fucked so rough that your body just can't stay still.." Jungkook grunts out his low words, hands moving once more as they seem to be too greedy to stay in one place. This time they grab onto Taehyung's plump ass instead, spreading his cheeks to get a perfect view of the latters abused hole. His cock fit perfectly, the snug insides squeezing him so well it made the younger see stars. "A-ah fuck yeah, gonna to fill you up so deeply, you'll feel my cum in you for hours."

“Fuckin’ love how strong you are..” Taehyung validated his boyfriend’s conceited statement, biting down on his rosy lip to prevent himself from letting out an ugly cry of pleasure. His dimmed eyes were blurry, obvious upcoming tears were going to make themselves known whether Tae liked it or not. Jungkook was fucking into him so well, it was expected for the amount of satisfaction to play with his sensitive emotions. “W-wanna feel your cum in m-me— Fuck!” A hiccupy moan broke off into a pitiful sob; a river of tears streamed down his warm face, mingling with the additional saltiness of his sweat. “O-oh my god, ‘m close..!” The closer he got, the louder his cries became. Tae hiccuped; pretty, tan body visibly shivering due to the overstimulation forced upon his awakened senses. “D-daddy,” another cute hiccup, “I fucking love you— fuck...” The elder was a mess, and he settled for wrapping around the man’s big dick as a form of stability at a time when he felt most unsteady. Stifling his high pitched whines, Taehyung’s puffy eyes widened at the unexpected sound of a bathroom stall closing.

Shit.

He helplessly looked at his boyfriend over his shoulder, finally giving Jungkook a view of his tear streaked face. “B-babe, stop, they might hear us..” Tae weakly whispered, securely clasping a hand over his mouth before he makes an embarrassing sound he’d later regret.

Jungkook slowed down, crooking an eyebrow as he listened to the clacking, echoey sound of somebody entering the public bathroom. He almost considered stopping, not to be heard-- but the very moment he saw Taehyung's tear streaked face he was too far gone to give a single fuck. Jungkook's pure lust was stronger than his embarrassment of being caught. And besides, the thrill of it made the younger's cock pulse inside of his boyfriend, a wicked smile forming on his face to let the elder know that there was no fucking way he'd stop. ''Shh..'' Jungkook hushed as he wrapped his arms around Taehyung's torso, leaning forward to press his chest tightly against Tae's back, their sticky skin rubbing together. He hushed into his ear with his hot breath as he continued to fuck him slowly with long, firm strokes. ''How could I stop when you feel so fucking good?'' Kook whispered breathily, a quiet exhale fanning the elders ear.

One of Taehyung’s arms rested on top of his boyfriend’s whilst the other was still set on muffling his caged moans, the palm of his hand clammy from the tight constraint. What else did he expect of Jungkook..? Of course he’d continue. Truthfully, Tae was even more turned on— keeping quiet while his boyfriend fucked the air out of his lungs? The elder was drooling. Quite literally, Taehyung was reduced down to a puddle of utter submission. He didn’t know how it’d play out, but something told him it wouldn’t be easy. “Hmm!” The elder used his other hand to press down harder, squeezing his eyes shut at the feeling of Jungkook’s ticklish breath against his honey skin. As a response, his sore walls closed in yet again around the man’s throbbing cock, feeling it pulsate throughout his nearly numb insides. Fuck, when was that person going to leave? Unclasping both hands from his mouth, Tae twisted his head to look into his man’s narrowed eyes, silently begging him for a taste of mercy. “Kook, fuck— hmph!” He immediately muffled his strained cries by pressing their lips together, a single tear rolling down his reddened cheek.

Jungkook placed his large palm at the back of Tae's head, pushing the latters lips against his own in a muffling kiss to keep him quiet, swallowing every silent cry like it was his last meal. Truthfully, he struggled to keep quiet himself. His cock was rock solid inside of the elder, the long sloppy strokes becoming less and less rhythmical as he feels his orgasm build up to the very edge, knowing his boyfriend is close as well if the constant clenching and shuddering is anything to go by, not to mention the desperation in his eyes. ''Gonna cum....'' Jungkook whispered in between kisses, their lips so wet and sloppy from all the drool; it tasted like heaven. ''Cum with me baby...'' Kook grunted quietly, ears paying attention to the door closing as the person finally left. In that very second, Jungkook allows his restrictions to cease and started to pound relentlessly into Taehyung's tight, fleshy insides once again, muscles flexing and dripping in sweat as he does so. ''Fuck, fuck.... gonna fill you up so well-- I love you,'' he groans out louder, his voice breaking as he speaks, ''You're mine forever.'' A few more punishing, snapping thrusts into Taehyung was all the younger needed to release everything he had into his fleshy ass, filling him up with hot, thick ropes of white. A guttural moan echoed in the room as Kook buried his face between Taehyung's shoulder blades, biting down on his skin possessively.

“I-I love you!” Taehyung lowly grunted out, still facing his boyfriend with a face morphed into one of bliss. His eyebrows twitched, mouth hung agape; making the string of frail moans slip out without a care. At this moment, Tae was so desperate for an orgasm, he didn’t give a fuck if anyone else walked in. “So fucking close..” The elder rested his palms flat against the stall door, fingers curling up against the solid surface with his head tiredly hung low, whining extra loudly during the last few thrusts. When Jungkook’s cum abruptly gushed inside of him— it was the last push over the rocky edge. It had Taehyung sobbing, shaking, and trembling. This definitely took the cake home, it was the most powerful orgasm he’s ever had. Ever. His own cum shot out onto the door, dripping down on the floor as his dick faintly twitched from the strong release. He worked on regaining his breath, panting until his chest ached, the feel of his boyfriend’s teeth on his sweaty, numb skin barely affecting his fucked-out physique.

Jungkook pressed soft kisses on his boyfriend's skin, holding his arms around his torso to keep him from slumping down on the floor with the way his legs were shaking. ''You good?'' Kook breathed out with a chuckle, wincing with a small whine when he pulled his slick cock out. He turned Taehyung around, pressing his back against the stall as he held him by the waist, leaning in close to admire the fucked out state he put the elder in. It was gorgeous to see. Taehyung sniffled, loosely wrapping his arms around his boyfriend’s neck for extra balance. “My ass stings but.. other than that, yeah.” The elder chuckled a little bit, looking into Jungkook’s now softened eyes with his hazy own. He simply stayed there.. gazing at the younger’s every feature. One hour wasn’t a lot of time, he wanted to imprint his boyfriend’s beautiful, sweat-covered face into his brain one last time. Tae leaned in to press a kiss onto his nose, “anyways, can we pretend I never called you.. daddy?” No part of Taehyung truly meant it, he was just a bit shy.

''No way, you'll have to do that again.'' Jungkook grinned, shaking his head, ''I kinda liked it... well, really.'' he shrugged, mimicking the elders kiss by giving one back on the small mole on Tae's nose. It didn't feel like his boyfriend was about to leave for another couple months in just... shit, how much time do they even have left? He didn't want to think about it, and a part of him wishes the flight was missed at this point. But it is what it is. Jungkook grabbed some of the toilet paper from the roll hanging on the wall to wipe his limp length clean, then resumed to do the same to his boyfriend before pulling his own pants up, ''I came so much, I wonder if you'd have cum in you all the way back there.'' Kook joked with a smile.

“Mhm. I’ll probably have your cum in me for months.” Taehyung leaned down to pull up the pants hanging low at his ankles, throwing on his wrinkled shirt as well. He ran his fingers through his messed up hair, trying to appear somewhat presentable after what’d taken place. It was easier said than done, his eyes were puffy from crying, and his tan skin was a bit flushed with color. “Let’s eat, all that fucking made me even more hungry.” Tae unlocked the stall door, grabbing Jungkook by the hand, and his bags in the other. Suddenly, he regretted begging for a limp. Taehyung painfully hissed after he tried taking a few careful steps, still not used to the pang. “Babe, I know I begged you to fuck me until I can’t walk. But I didn’t mean it literally..” The elder pouted, attempting to take a few more steps on his own.

Jungkook didn't hesitate to reach and grab the bags from Taehyung, relieving the elder from the heavy lifting for now. With one hand carrying the baggage, he wraps the other around his boyfriends shoulders to become a source of stability. He was responsible for the instability after all. "Sorry, I got carried away.. you're too sexy when you beg." Kooks smile was filled with mischief, not at all sorry for the results. Tae would feel this for days, and for that the younger was proud. "See it as a gift and a reminder of who you belong to." Kook continued as his grin grew further. He guided the elder out into the airport, looking around for different restaurants. "You want to get some jjajangmyeon? Itll keep you full for a while." Jungkook nudged his chin in the direction of the small restaurant across the venue.

At the moment, anything seemed appetizing in Taehyung’s eyes. He’d been drained of his energy in a stuffy bathroom stall, Tae didn’t need to think twice before nodding his head, letting Jungkook lead his slightly drowsy self to the restaurant. Once they’d sat down and ordered two bowls of delicious noodles, Taehyung took a few gulps of his cool water, soothing his strained throat in the short-run. “Pretty sure that waitress was checking you out.” Tae chuckled lightly, setting his glass down and reaching upwards to fidget with his boyfriend’s earrings. “Kinda sad I didn’t give you a reminder of who you belong to,” Taehyung recalled the younger’s previous words, dramatically sighing through his nose. “Unless I did..” With the cheekiest of grins, the elder winked at Jungkook before he rummaged through his bag. “It’s cheesy as hell but.. here.” He displayed a small ring in the palm of his hand. The jewelry had a simple flower pattern around its silver rim, and on the inner sides, it had the following words neatly carved out in small letters, ‘endless love; for you and me.’ “I know daffodils are your favorite flower so I spent some time researching the symbolism behind it. I read somewhere it’s given to people you love so.. yeah. I also got one for me so we could match.” Taehyung scratched at his nape, suddenly becoming shy.

Jungkook felt his heart suddenly jump in his chest at the small piece of jewelry given, looking closely at it. That's the most thoughtful gift he's ever been given. It made the younger run his hand through his hair and take a deep breath to recollect himself; Do.Not.Cry. "That's so pretty babe..." kooks voice trembled more than he would've liked. He did love it, he enjoyed jewelry in general lately. Having his boyfriend give such a thing to him was so cheesy... Tae surely had grown a lot. "I love it, put it on me!" Jungkooks toothy grin grew as he delicately gave Tae his hand, wiggling his fingers to emphasize what he wanted, "and I'll put yours on you."

“Yeah? You like it?” A lopsided, relieved smile tugged at the corner of Taehyung’s lips. The latter was previously freaking out over what his boyfriend would’ve thought about his gift. It was a promise ring; and Tae didn’t want to overwhelm the younger with thoughts regarding their future. He relished in their present, but sometimes Taehyung wondered about what it’ll look like a few years ahead in time. If he didn’t see Jungkook in it, then he didn’t want it. Tae wants to marry the hell out of this guy, Kook is and will forever be his person. The elder gently squeezed his boyfriend’s hand in his bigger one, sliding the ring through his pointer finger. “This is a promise that I’ll take care of you— forever.” He chuckled, cringing at how loveydovey he sounded. “I want you in my future, Jungkook.” Nonetheless, Taehyung didn’t mind. It wasn’t like his boyfriend didn’t know how cheesy he could be at times.. “Fuck I swear I’m not proposing—“ The boy’s hearty laughter rang, his eyes crinkled, “not yet, anyway. But.. I wanna love you until the end, I guess. Whether that’d be love for one another or love for... someone small. Someone we’d get to raise together.” Tae nervously chewed on his lower lip, “I dunno. Maybe I’m just rambling but.. I wanna do everything with you. That’s all.”

''Well...'' Small wrinkles appeared in the corners of Jungkook's eyes when he smiled, making a grabby hand for the other ring to put it on his boyfriend's finger as well, holding his bigger hand in his. Kook kissed the elders knuckles softly, ''When you do propose, I'll say yes.'' Kook could be just as cheesy back, loving the flustered look on Taehyung's face. He surely had changed so much-- yet not. Both of them were the same boys they've always been, but they've grown and changed so much during their time together. Now they were turning into men. Two men that were hopelessly, absolutely head over heels for each other. ''Can't wait to be with you forever.'' Jungkook sighed, it was a bittersweet feeling knowing his boyfriend had to leave him for another few months. But when he's back, it'd be for good. They could get through this. Kook glanced at the clock, and time was running low. It made his stomach turn, and his hand squeezed tighter around Tae's.

The long silence of sadness was soon replaced by the sounds of their eating as both boys enjoyed their last meal together, chattering about life, plans for the future— everything they could fit into their remaining time together. Taehyung knew he’d be able to talk to his boyfriend via text messages and calls, but it never fulfilled his yearning for the real thing.

“So.. fuck, thought that it’d be easier now that it’s the second time,” Taehyung played with Jungkook’s fingers, twisting the latter’s ring. “It’s just as hard. But, we’ll see each other soon.” The elder shifted his gaze from their hands to his boyfriend’s face, drawing on a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. How could it..? They’d be separated for months. “Hey, remember, I’m just one phone call away. Doesn’t matter if it’s late where I’m at, you call me.”

Jungkook took deep breaths to contain himself, but it was already obvious that the younger wouldn't be able to hold in his tears the very moment his boyfriend left for the second time. But, he reminded himself constantly that it was the last time. ''Okay, I'll call you often.'' His voice trembled, and before he knew it he had drawn Taehyung closer to wrap his arms around him in a tight hug, pressing his nose into the latters hair to inhale his scent. ''I'll be right here when you come back. I love you so much.'' He pulled back to smile through his glassy eyes, the deja vu from last time amplifying everything. ''I'll make sure to have a job by the time you're back so we can begin our lives.''

His emotional baby; it hurt Taehyung’s heart temporarily letting him go. But— just like the last time— they’d get accustomed to the drastic change of not having the other by their side. Well, they’ll get used to it to the best of their abilities.. Tae was still going to miss hugging Jungkook to sleep. “I love you too, Kook.” He didn’t pay any attention to the group of people lining up behind them at the gate, only focusing on his boyfriend as Taehyung pressed a lingering kiss to the younger’s cheek. “Babe, don’t stress about it. I’ll be able to help you when I come back for good.” He cupped the side of his face, caressing the smooth skin with his calloused thumb. Taehyung looked over his shoulder, the line was getting short.. “I should go..” the words tasted bitter in his mouth, “I love you, I’ll call you when I land.” With one last kiss to Jungkook’s cheek, Tae waved his hand whilst he stalled by the narrow passageway to the plane, not wanting to leave just yet.

''Love you too.'' Jungkook's words faded as his hand around the elders arm smoothed over his skin as he stepped away, keeping his hand in the air to wave back before they would fall limp to his sides. Kook's doe eyes were sparkling, keeping his tears at bay for now. This wasn't a goodbye, it was a 'see you soon', and the younger had to repeat this to himself over and over to feel okay. He kept his eyes on his boyfriend, a small smile growing on his face every time they Tae glanced back. Even though this was so hard, he was proud of his boyfriend for doing so well in school, making something out of himself... In contrast to Jungkook.

He wasn't sure what the fuck he was doing with his life, but had to find something... anything.

© sombreboy 2020. Do not repost, edit or translate.

[jksangelic]

defanged (m)

↳ rating: M

↳ genre: smut, fluff, werewolf!au, a/b/o au, pwp

↳ pairing: mates werewolf!reader x werewolf/alpha!hoseok

↳ warnings: explicit sexual content, dom themes, breathplay, knotting, rough play, impregnation kink, overall general ”werewolf” smut themes, personality change, probably an uncomfortable amount of squishy mate talk

↳ summary:  hoseok is an easy mate—as such that there are moments you question if he’s just human. so when his sudden spike of aggression emerges, you do your best to keep this unknown man at bay. or, alternatively: young alpha hoseok has started teething and he’s being a bratty puppy about it.

↳ note: ok so if you were with me a few months ago you would know that this is actually a collab fic with a couple other writers but life happens and here we are now *cowboy emoji*. this is really important to me bc they’re such *clench fist* great people and i’m happy i received such an opportunity to collab with them (’: pls make sure to rb/like/visit our collab masterlist if you want to be in-the-know of when they post their parts!

also i wanted to play around with the humorous sides of what werewolves might go thru (-: so, like, short attention spans and hating loud noises and typical big dog stuff. with the teething, just imagine that their growth stages are prolonged because they’re, idk, maybe immortal or something lol

(i…… i’m not used to writing fantasy can u tell)

((gif isn’t mine + his side profile ;-;))

↳ words: 9k+

You could hear every miniscule thread snap and unwind from themselves, a simple task such as painting your nails becoming less relaxing than it should be.

“Hobi,” you mumble once. You swipe down your thumb again, carmine red smoothing over brightly and with utmost delicacy. He doesn’t listen, another squeaking grind of his teeth against the material of his sweatshirt followed by a snapsnap.

“Hobi,” you say a little louder, flinching from annoyance and staining your cuticle with the polish. You curse your discontents, waiting for him to look at you but only meeting a turned neck and eyes still glued to his phone, an I’m listening portrayed by his demeanor but not really meaning it.

He chews hard on the neckline, a solid rip completely tearing several inches down his chest, eyes widening and attention finally caught when his chest is exposed hilariously.

“Hoseok!” you yell, slamming the closed bottle onto the coffee table and meeting his startled eyes, “I just bought that for you!”

He hopes to play it off and shrugs as you swipe it from his teeth, untwined fibers poking out sadly. You smooth your thumbs over the poor fabric, the third victim of his recent gnashing problem.

“Why do you keep doing this?” you ask sadly, a little more bummed about the beautiful sweatshirt than you should be.

He responds simply, “My gums itch.”

You roll your eyes at his childlike excuse, the full-sized man sitting cross-legged and distractedly in his corner of the couch with his phone paused on some game with horrendously annoying music. Was he really your alpha?

“Why don’t you do us some good and go hunting.” You offer, a lame excuse to get Hoseok out of your hair for a bit. It’s what you deserve. He rolls over with a harrumph, shoulder now bare from the growing tear in his clothing. It made you giggle slightly.

“I’m in pain and you’re laughing at me,” he deadpans, body static-still and stubborn more than ever.

Your breath fans his skin as you slither next to him, “I’m sorry, baby. Are you really hurting? Why don’t you go to the dentist?”

Hoseok pouts, taptaptapping away at his screen instead of looking at you, “I don’t want to go to the dentist. They just itch.” Even now, he licks over the burning sensation of his gums, clenching and grinding his teeth to ease the feeling in any way. You can hear the collisions of his canines, your own tingling uncomfortably from the sound.

You shake your head. “Maybe you’re teething,” you suggest in all seriousness. It wasn’t impossible; your kind’s lifespan certainly placing such life stages at seemingly unusual times. In any case, it would simply mean his canines were most likely growing longer and stronger.

He scoffs as if you’ve insulted him, “I’m well over my teething days, Y/N. They just itc—"

“Say that one more time and I’ll neuter you,” you huff. When he lacks a kinder response, you push yourself off the couch to tidy your bedroom instead. He clearly wasn’t in the mood to have a serious conversation with you at the moment, and despite its rarity, you could use your space.

Your mate was in no way irritable; in fact, Hoseok was one of the sunniest alpha’s you’ve ever encountered. His kindness differentiated him from others, bearing his mark (and one day, hopefully, his pups) certainly deeming you quite lucky. He was a soft lover above all, never making you feel as a subordinate or anything of the like.

Perhaps it’s why you two were clashing heads recently, his personality completely contradictory from his true self. Never does he ignore you, let alone snap at you.

Folding your clothes (and purposefully leaving his items in a pile on his side of the bed in spite), you exhale heavily and leave for the living room once again, disregarding your now smeared manicure.

Hoseok beams at the shoe aisle, producing more light than whatever was already lit in the store. Due to his “issue”, stopping by the mall was a given. Two more of his shirts and even one of your necklaces mangled and chewed up like he was the Tasmanian Devil.

Petting his hair fondly, you give him a nuzzle to his cheek, “I’ll be in the next store over, puppy. Come meet me when you’re done.” He nods happily, wide-frame glasses bobbing atop his pretty nose.

You beeline for the department store in hopes of purchasing a few extra things for yourself before Hoseok sniffs you out. It’s immediate heaven when you sift through the dresses, picking a few out and dangling them happily on your fingers before bouncing from rack to rack. By the time you reach the dressing rooms, your arm aches from the pile you’ve accumulated.

“Hey there, you can go ahead and take that first stall right there,” a man directs, tall and intimidating and rather fucking handsome, you think. “My name’s Jaebum. Let me know if you need anything and I’ll go grab it for you.”

You bat your lashes and mouth a Thanks before waltzing into your room, appreciating his kindness perhaps a little too much. Despite your complex and absolute relationship status, it didn’t hurt to peek at what’s on display. It was only right!

You try on more than what you even remembered picking out, velvets and satins and the softest of cottons all hugging you warmly with every piece, a bittersweet happiness when everything seemed to fit you perfectly. The last dress, though, is your only hiccup. Material skin-tight and ending just a little above your ankles; you harrumph. Almost a perfect streak.

Dress still on (at least it zipped), you peek through the door and spot handsome Bum at the front. “Psst, um, do you mind getting me a couple more sizes in this? I think it was near the wall to the right.”

He grins and nods, almost grateful of the fact that you asked him to do so. Why was he even in this section? Should it concern you?

You watch as he leaves, back muscles showcased quite lavishly in his pristinely pressed suit.

Should it be more concerning that it didn’t?

You take a moment to look at the dress once more, smoothing over the velvet that bunched snugly at your waist and checking out your own ass. The fabric might rip if you sneeze too hard but you look pretty damn splendid.

“Found a few more and got you another color as well,” Jaebum says upon return. You almost snap your neck away from the mirror, hoping he didn’t see you ogling your bum. What a speedy fellow.

You politely open the door wider and reach for the hangers, “Thank you, I appreciate it.”

Jaebum doesn’t fully hand it to you though, briefly but noticeably skimming over your body, “I think that size is cute on you too. You have a really beautiful figure.”

Maybe it should concern you. You chuckle awkwardly and look elsewhere. Please just give me my dresses, you almost say, now self-conscious in your skin.

“It’s even better when she’s naked. I would know,” Hoseok near growls, appearing out of thin air. He swipes the hangers from behind Jaebum, who is surprised beyond all comprehension of the word, and pushes you back into the room. You’ve never seen him look so enraged, face serious and twitching as if he would shift at any given moment.

“Th-There aren’t allowed to be more than one person in a—,” Jaebum nervously starts from the other side before the door is slammed on his nose.

You didn’t even see Jaebum’s reaction, nor do you ponder it when Hoseok drops your beautiful dresses and thrusts your back against the mirror with his hand to your neck, deliberately making you yelp loud enough for others to hear. You recoil as he bares his fangs, sharp and taunting, threatening to devour you whole and you know this isn’t your Hobi.

He doesn’t get the chance for whatever else he had in store when pure vehemence engulfs you, daring to stand your ground with a low guttural snarl and shoving him off. Your strength is nothing to snicker at, his shoulders nearly hitting the other wall despite his stature.

“What’s wrong with you?” you didn’t even care if everyone in the damn store could hear you, “Don’t you dare touch me!”

Regret instantly arises in his eyes, his hands reaching out to comfort you in any way but hesitant in the warning. He would rather die than hurt you, he was sorry, he was so sorry.

Your body can feel his sorrow and want, itching to touch him in any way but you push it down. The little she-wolf in you whimpers as you struggle out of the dress and leave him alone in the stall, begging for you to go back and forgive him.

Jaebum stands, bewildered, outside of the rooms. He sure did rue the moment he ever made advances on you. Not a word is spoken as you pass by and exit the store.

It doesn’t make it any easier when Hoseok follows you closely. “Baby, I’m sorry. Please.”

“You were going to shift because of some stupid sales clerk! You could’ve gotten us in some deep shit with the order,” you scold, “We’re going home. Right now.” This was a double-edged sword, you didn’t even get to purchase anything. Though your mood is far too foul to continue.

“But I didn’t! No one saw anything. I just lost my cool for a second, I promise. I know better.” Even Hoseok strains to keep up your pace, car already in view and goddamn you walk fast.

“Do you? Are you seriously justifying your actions? You need to uphold your responsibilities, Hoseok. You’re not new to this.” He finds that he despises when you lecture him this way, gums and skin and everything prickly and he wish he could gnaw on something right about now.

It was odd to tell him these things, taking into consideration that his role is considerably higher than yours and that he hardly ever faults as an alpha. If there wasn’t something going on biologically, what else could it be?

He’s obviously straining to keep his composure now, jaw slacked and knuckles cracking in his fist, “How am I supposed to do that now? It won’t happen again. It’s over.”

“Then what about your shitty mood swings? We don’t argue, Hoseok. You’re not mean, you’re not easily agitated, and you’re not a fucking paper  shredder. Neither are you aggressive to your own mate,” you throw in his face, unsurprised when he cowers again at the thought. It’s like the man was on his period.

Now that you recall, the last time you’ve ever seen him so angry at you is when you watched Endgame without him, and that should say enough. This was just all so new and unbecoming of someone with his level of reputation.

“You know I didn’t mean to do that. I never want to hurt you…” he leads as you beat him to the driver’s side of the car, watching him over the hood for him to finish his sentence, “I’m just—”

“You what, Hoseok?”

He jostles the door handle a few times, a rep of unsettling clacks making him uneasy.  

“Can you unlock the car?”

“You what?” you say a little louder, entirely avoiding his question.

“Goddammit,” he hisses, “Just let me in and we can talk about it when we get home.” You scan his face in search of anything. For the truth. For him to own up to what it is. What you get is nothing.

So you smile, “No.”

He stands cluelessly as you unlock your door and hop in, starting the car with a satisfying roll and opening his window just enough to see his addled facial expression.

“What are you doing?” he deadpans.

“If you won’t admit it then you obviously don’t take me seriously, and if you won’t take me seriously then I’ll take my car home by myself. So, toodles!”

He smirks nervously, slender fingers sifting through his hair, “Y/N, c’mon. Just let me in.” He’s even more staggered when you start reversing out of your spot. Eyes widening hilariously, he cusses under his breath as he walks cautiously towards the door.

“Have a fun run, baby. Better get home soon,” you feign pity, “looks like it’s going to start raining pretty soon.”

“We live an hour away!”

You drive down the row, turning on your signal just in case someone needed to know. Shucks, you were such a good driver, even in the parking lot.

Hoseok thinks otherwise, anger and panic so vivid that you can feel it from this distance. Walking Time Bomb even begins to jog, not willing to risk your bluff.

“Okay! Okay, I admit it. I may be going through something…” his wavering voice trickles into your head. “You’re right.’

You let him catch up to you, eyes shifty and fingers fiddling. “Hi, darling. Can you say that one more time? In person?” His chest puffs.

“I already said it once,” he begs.

Was his pride this important? Did the strangled mutt deep down change your Hoseok for the worst? An impatient car behind you honks and you shrug.

“You’re making people wait. I’m going to leave.”

“Jesus fucking—okay. I think I’m teething. Or something involving my dental state. It’s making me fucking grumpy and it’s painful and I want to punch a fucking wall because it’s stupid that this phase is so late.” You unlock his door mid-sentence, his body falling into his seat before he continues to blabber on.

“Oh, little puppy,” you slide your sunglasses from atop your head down to the bridge of your nose, “Don’t be so sensitive. ‘S like a human adult getting braces.”

The week passes by agonizingly slow. And that wasn't necessarily because Hoseok bitched and complained, throwing temper tantrums when the remote had fallen between the couch cushions or throwing his pants stormily when they would catch on his ankles and make him hobble about like a disabled chicken.

Or maybe it was because of that.

You dare to creak the door to his den (pun intended), having locked himself in such confinement to work through the paperwork that's been piling on his mahogany desk for days. He looks worn around the eyes, long brown hair pushed back with his fake reading glasses. You knock three times as if he couldn't already sense your presence. When he looks at you through his lashes, he nods for you to proceed.

"Hi, baby. How's the work going?" you ask with a honey-dipped edge.

He shrugs, "A lot of affairs from other packs that I have to go over. I should be done soon."

You slink behind his office chair and wrap your arms around his shoulders, "Mm, why don't you take a break and have a nice little bath with me?" He doesn't budge one inch, straightening out a stack of papers before stapling them neatly and tucking them into one of his drawers.

"I need to finish this. I've been pushing it back until the last minute."

Rolling him out a bit, you slide onto his lap and rest on his chest. Your touch always lulls a serene sensitivity from his skin, a natural effect that only you are capable of. But his muscles remain taut. Bones stiff and budging none whatsoever. Stuttering, you try again, "You've been working for hours. I'm lonely. Just an hour--,"

"Y/N. I'm warning you. Get off."

She-wolf unconsciously warns you to stand down upon this statement. Was he being serious? He's warning you? You search his blank face, waiting for him to crack a smile or lift you up and attack you with kisses. When he doesn't, you test the waters.

Your nails scratch the bare skin under his shirt, "H-Hoseokie, we haven't had sex in so long," you whine. Invading his space, however, only sets him off more.

He growls, deep and meant to be menacing. It takes brutal force to push yourself to move, a weight halting your ministrations. His word, no matter how rare it be, was your law. Do you dare defy that?

You unbutton his pants the same time he threatens, "Continue any further and see what happens." He's breathier than normal and that gives you some satisfaction. He was your mate, after all. Eternal fulfillment was your duty.

The feeling of his heavy and growing bulge, nestling in the crook of his thigh, is a success all in its own. You purr and rub your legs together, licking at Hoseok's neck lovingly and waiting for him to give in. "Hobi, you're already--ah!"

Your view spins as Hoseok scruffs you to his desk, cold wood pressed to your cheek and wrists somehow pinned behind you. Yiping in fear, you struggle in his harsh imprisonment.

"You don't fucking listen," he complains, voice balancing on the line between speaking and yelling.

"Hoseok! L-Let me g-go--," you start before he grinds himself into your ass, boner prominent and angry as it prods. He replaces the hand to your neck with his mouth, laving and suckling all the way down your shoulder.

"Can't do that. I warned you and you disobeyed me. You disobey your alpha, Y/N?"

"No, I'm sorry--," you squeak before your dress is thrown over your back and a sharp slap comes down onto your ass.

You don’t believe the sound that comes out of your throat, pressing your thighs together and wiggling the pain away. “J-Jung Hoseok! What is—” Another slap, harder than the first.

The nerves tingle all the way down to your toes as your eyes roll back. You moan once more, unsolicited and without restraint. Hoseok is content with your reaction, not expecting you to squirm so nicely because of your punishment.

"You like this, don't you? I can smell you leaking like some submissive whore," he snarls with an edge of disappointment. You're beyond mortified of how he speaks to you, although not inclined to deny his words. Not when he spanks you once more, with such force that a scream is rewarded and your back arches in euphoric pain.

"Hoseok, no more, please. I'll--I'll cum if you keep, ugh," you blabber over yourself. He thinks you look prettily pathetic drooling on his desk, so close to spilling over the edge from being physically humiliated.

"Tch, so weak," he comments before releasing your wrist and letting you collapse to the floor. "Are you done?" The question both turns you on and pisses you off, emotions swirling into something self-destructive.

Crawling on the carpet and up his leg, you nuzzle into his bulge, "But I still didn't get what I want." You don’t even ponder where this behavior is coming from; slinking out of you like a dog with its tail between its legs. Perhaps his own change of manner influenced one in you.

He could laugh at how easy you were being, wondering when he ever mated with someone who acts like such a sexually-obsessed brat. "Oh?" he prompts, "So you think you get to make the calls here?"

Licking the hem of his boxers in response, he doesn't feel pleased with your lack of words. You perk up when he shuffles his cock out from the confines of his layers. It’s almost instinctual, not wasting any time to pepper kisses and kitten licks to his tip. God, he even smells amazing. You don't care if you look ridiculous, feverish with your actions like he'd take away your precious treat if you weren't cautious.

He snickers at you, petting your hair with an unexpectedly soft touch. Your heart-shaped irises peer up, knowing he loves your eye contact when you suck him off. Watching the blush spread on his face means that you must be doing your job correctly. Besides, not even the Big Bad Wolf can deny when he feels his pleasure.

He almost can’t stand the self-righteousness that oozes off you. If you thought you were in control, you were dead-wrong. "You want my cock that bad, huh, baby?" your love bunches as much of your hair as he can with his fist, "Then fucking take it."

Then his girthy dick shoves to the back of your throat without warning, hips to your nose and thrustingthrustingthrusting as far as he can.

You'd sputter if your mouth wasn't so full, eyes overflowing with tears and throat constricting in hopes that he'll let you go. When he doesn't and continues to grind himself down your mouth, you dig your nails into his thighs and whine on his persistent cock. It doesn’t matter, the digging crescents in his thighs rousing him even further and even hoping those pretty nails of yours leave marks for him. He’d accept no less.

Hoseok thrusts twice more before pulling you off and watching you cough maniacally. The tears that gathered were now running down your face, accompanied with your saliva that leaks from your chin and onto the floor.

You couldn't breathe, you couldn't ask him to stop, and you loved it.

He cocks a brow as you struggle to catch up, "We'll stop here. You're obviously not made for this."

Pitiful is the only word he can use to describe how quickly you paw and beg for him, desperately wrapping your fingers around the base of his member and pumping him just the way he likes it, "No! I can take it, please use me." Your unstable hand massages the cum-saliva mix as well as it can, a small victory celebrated when he bucks into you.

"Mm," his thumb wipes a stray tear from your lip, "You're so beautiful when you cry. Will you sit on the desk for me?"

You don't hesitate to obey, being careful to hop up when your bum is so sore but otherwise eager for him to touch you again. When he places himself between your legs, your body hums.

"I'm... I'm not well, Y/N. I don't want to hurt you," he says, voicing his first concern after what's already happened. With his brows knit in concern and his slender fingers rubbing calmly at your sides, it's almost as if the Hoseok you know has returned. The Hobi that makes your pancakes just a little overcooked like you prefer. Who makes you a blanket nest when you’re feeling down. And will gladly give up his last bite of anything to watch you munch happily even after you’ve finished your own portion.

In some way, this was your same Hobi. Maybe not so sweet and innocent but more on the receiving end. Spending his days tending to you out of pure love and pleasure to see you bloom; it was just your turn to return the favor.

So you kiss him with fervor and mold your chest to his, feeling the scorching heat that emanates from him. He must seriously be straining himself, you think. His canines graze your lips and you know he's trying his best to hold back; to not completely obliterate you.

"I want to help you," you whisper against his mouth. You implore him and he doesn’t hesitate to take your offer.

You extend your legs as he rushes to pull down your thong, throwing it to the side, and embracing you with another kiss, all tongue and pants. Some of his documents get ruffled under your steadying hands and he shoves them off altogether, a rain of really important paper littering the room. He comes in a little too excitedly, slamming a drawer closed with his thigh and even scooting his desk across the floor.

“God fucking dammit,” he swears, your chuckles covering his wet lips. “I’m… a mess… not thinking straight. Need to cum inside you.”

You purr when his head rubs against your sex, an electric sensation tearing through you. “Want you to knot me,” you whisper. A mistake in its own because he’s practically moaning into your mouth when you say such things.

“Yeah, baby? Want your cunt pumped full? Hm?” he asks into your jaw, all the while spreading your legs as far as they can split with his strong hands. His hips begin to circle like he’s stalling as long as possible and that rouses you up in a way.

You nod with sultry eyes and chant, “Yes. Yes, yes.” By the second yes does he all but slam into you, your final confirmation his endgame.

Hoseok was truly blessed in size, something no mere human could ever match. His length alone would make you double over in ecstasy if he allowed you the space to. Squeezing around him only makes him fuck you deeper, both wanting and needing more of each other than you already have. You were made for him, and him you.

You whimper as he pulls out, his head tantalizing your g-spot before ramming back inside and forcing an angelic cry. “H-Hoseokie… Please, your pups. I want to have your pups”

The sounds of his hips against your skin with your moans and the subtle creak of his desk is almost humorous, you were fucking like dogs. Even more so when he pushes you flat against the wood by the front of your throat, his thumb tucked gently on an airway as your tongue flops out in simple bliss.

“Don’t say that if you don’t mean it,” he snarls with a particularly evil drill to your core that curls your toes. “Nothing to me would be more satisfying than to breed you.”

Your throat constricts and you cough, your tiny hands tugging at his fingers while barely being able to pry his grip. You can’t resist moaning through clenched teeth still, even when the prettiest wine red pours into his irises. Hoseok holds back incredibly well, despite having shifting eyes, his total control never fails to astonish you. It was years worth of training and you thank the stars that it was useful in a time where you were literally stuffed with his cock.

“And you’re so willing; so obedient now. You like when I fuck you like this. Just want that beautiful pussy bred until you’re spilling, right?” he chuckles with means to humiliate when your eyes flutter and drool spills from your swollen lips, “What a mate.”

You tighten, an embarrassing amount of arousal spilling and sticking to your love. He doesn’t mind one bit, rather, losing composure for a brief moment, “Ugh, so good.”

His hand suddenly withdraws from your tender neck and you sputter an attempt to catch your breath, a fleeting moment before he wraps his arms under your knees and prompts you to hang onto him when he stands. How quickly he’s able to switch positions is hot in itself, but the thought is also lost when you sink down even further on his dick.

“Oh, oh my god,” you wail pathetically, wrapping yourself around him and trying to lift your trembling body to ease how full you feel, even for just a moment.

“Hm? I thought you wanted this, baby. Wanted my complete, unforgiving love for you. Isn’t that why you walked into my office?” he smirks similarly to how you imagine the devil would. His hands find leverage against the closest wall, also shoving you against it and resuming his pace into you.

This, to whichever persona was hiding deep down in Hoseok, was divine. Incredible. You would die for this man even without the bond. He was literally screwing you braindead.

He pants, warm and sweaty and shirt somehow unbuttoned halfway down (when did you do that?), “I thought you wanted my knot? Not anymore?”

Your pupils blow out as you shake your head, you were so close.

“Ah, then I’ll knot you. I’ll knot you but you have to beg,” he says with a wink. Bastard.

“Please, please knot me, baby. Breed me and let me have your pups,” you sob, “Fill me up until I can’t take it anymore, Alpha, please—”

He jabs incessantly until you’re entirely maxed out, sloppy smacks echoing out further than the den and his growls emanating when you drag your sharp nails down his back, the fabric tearing under your fingers. Hoseok grinds his full length into you, reaching beyond the end of your walls.

“S-Stay,” he orders. He slows as the base of his cock swells and even though you asked for it, it’s always a little uncomfortable. You can’t even fathom how it feels for your mate, his sudden groans and the absolute necessity to lave at your neck only scraping at the surface of any real indication.

Hoseok told you once that it was similar to both being overstimulated and having a sudden spike of energy, which could explain his touchiness. It was cute though, and kinda hot.

Nestled deep inside, you can subtly feel the ropes of semen beginning to pool. You rest your head over his shoulder, buzzing from the intensity of it all and watching as the walls move and shift into the ones of your bedroom.

Hoseok’s hoarse voice surprises you, “Fuck, I’m so dizzy.”

The bed is a heavenly difference from the den’s desk and wall, your heart pounding a little too hardly when he places one of his pillows lengthwise under your back for extra squish. He was so cute.

But then he collapses on you.

“Oof—I’ve never seen you like that before. My ass hurts,” you state dreamily.

“Oh, love. Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” he asks seriously, lifting his head to study your face in case you lie. The red dissipated long before, his deep brown eyes twinkling down at you like they always do.

“You were a little rough,” you feign, pouting and pushing around his face with paw-folded fists. He thinks you look like an idiot, a cute idiot.

“I’m sorryyyy,” he whines, burying his face into your chest and wiggling around like a fish. His knot moves with him and you wince.

“Hoseok, stay still.”

Being showered in a sudden attack of kisses is what he responds with, not even aware of the task at hand and fake crying, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I don’t ever want to hurt you—I—oh no.”

You yipe as semen sloshes down your leg, shoving your palm into Hobi’s (who is undoubtedly back to his usual self) cheek and trying your best to not panic.

“Goddammit, Jung Hoseok! Stay still!”

beep boop hope you liked, leave some feedback if you did!

[vroenis]

Reaching Out, Reaching In

It would be criminal not to use ABIIOR for the lede given I’m going to quote Matty albeit not quite verbatim - nevertheless - buy this album, it’s incredible.

But of-course, I’m going to start by talking about

BT

I mention BT a lot; he enters the lists often in my writing, in my discussions. Like many artists in my collection and listening rotation, I seem to be really into an artist for a period of time and then reach a cutoff point where I stop being into them. This probably happens for most people, I don’t know, I’ve not asked most people, but I do want to be very careful of not living in the past or rather dying in it. Still, I like to keep finding new things or rather I’m compelled to. I enjoy things that continue to grow older each second time passes, but I always thirst for new creations by all artists of all ages, whether they bring to bear the experience of years, or they’ve only been around for a few. The point is everyone is here on this wild ride and art is their response to the stimuli; it’s what comes out of us in abstract and semi-abstract, re-translated and it forms these amazing emotional and often transcending connections and multifaceted responses in us and by us I mean me.

I’m getting distracted.

In the last and understandably downcast piece on my deathbed playlist, there are three key BT albums and it’s worth noting the years he released them;

2006 - This Binary Universe

2012 - Nuovo Morceau Subrosa

2016 - _ (untitled - there’s a story, you can look it up if you like, it’s more or less just referred to as the character *underscore*(verbal))

There were other albums in-between but naturally those don’t make the list as far as what I want to be hearing if I’m half or unconscious or in a delirium on my way to imminent death. In 2019, BT released two albums;

October 2019 - Between Here And You

December 2019 - Everything You’re Searching For Is On The Other Side Of Fear

You may remember I wrote a whole lot about 2009 - 2019 and these albums were absent.

If you go to the wiki for BT, which are his initials for Brian (Wayne) Transeau, you’ll see a wonderfully rich history of a stupendously talented musician and immensely intelligent individual. He is part of a collective of people most wouldn’t know about (which is perfectly fine, to be honest) who are responsible for the digital audio revolution that has completely changed the way we create, record, produce, publish and distribute music as we know it. There are parts of that people may think are negative and some elements certainly are, but the net benefit is unquestionably positive even if only on the sole subject of accessibility. Accessible digital audio has put creation and power within reach of everyone and of-course this means there’s a glut of material available, but it also means we catch sight of more amazing art rather than never see it, or it not seeing the light of day. I lean on humans seeing it and saying that directly rather than speaking in abstract. The light of day is literally us - we humans, seeing the expressions of one-another and hopefully remunerating appropriately so that we can continue to live and improve each other’s lives.

I have always had and continue to have immense respect for BT. He began writing This Binary Universe when his daughter was born, and as she grew, continued working on the album with this tiny infant often in his lap as he worked. He wrote it from creation in 5.1 surround sound, rather than all other “surround sound mixes” being done in retrospect from the stereo stems. It is an astonishing work and See You On The Other Side may very well be one of the greatest pieces of music in history. When I first listened to TBU in 2006, I  had a myriad of emotional responses and I certainly didn’t have as much knowledge of BT’s creation process and background for the album at the time, but I can appreciate that shortly thereafter upon learning it, it probably does form biases in how I feel about the album. This will be important to the discussion later. Nevertheless, the album feels massively injected with specific intent and yes, surely every artistic work is regardless and we’ll get there. This is going to be personal but all writing is - that doesn’t warrant further discussion, we should always be making that assumption.

I follow BT on Instagram and saw him build his awesome new studio, an amazing space for all his gear and synths and something any music professional would love to have in some way... which I may check in a moment, or perhaps not so soon but I hope I don’t forget to come back to that. I will say that I do like it. It is a wonderful playground of vintage, rare and new synths, of super powerful computers with extremely new software and plugs, of high-end analogue desks and outboard units, extremely nice monitors and custom designed absorbers, panels, racks and furniture. It is an absolutely amazing space.

After the studio was finished, he did some collabs with some other artists and folks, some of which I also follow on Instagram whose setups are wildly different so it was nice to see some cross-over. He also interspersed with increasing regularity work on his albums which included clips of 100+ piece orchestras and often DAW session captures of the stems and him working on them. It was all pretty cool and the tiny snippets he posted were rad.

In October 2019, I was travelling to visit family due to cancer treatment, something that’s been at the centre of my life for well over 18 months, and I have my first full listen-thru of Between Here And You on an early morning when the rest of the house is asleep. It’s pretty great, sonically I like it a lot. I don’t have the same response to TBU but I don’t expect to, I should give it a chance, but it still doesn’t elicit a really significant response in me. At this point it has to be said that on the same trip, I have my first full listen-thru of Telefon Tel Aviv’s Dreams Are Not Enough, having slept on its initial September release, and that might be enough to give context to how I responded - it may have been where my head was at and remains to this day. I couldn’t shake it tho, as I still really have an affinity for TBU and I was wondering what was up.

Fast-forward to December and the release of Everything You’re Searching For Is On The Other Side Of Fear, and I do not respond to this album at all. It has some decent BT synth and sample work in it that exhibits his amazing talent, but it’s cut with orchestral and choral music that to me is indistinct from any other contemporary material available on a Pandora channel playing similar genres. I hate the sound of myself being so critical of someone I admire so much, because for someone who can write bangin’ trance and intricately complicated micro-rhythms and sample-chopped music, someone who writes their own freaken’ software and who edits audio down to the sample because their attention to detail is so specific and demanding - for that same person to be so talented to also be able to write scores and choral vocal arrangements is immense. I’m sure it all means so much to BT and I’m so proud of him for creating what to him must be an amazing work. I’m not trying to say anything negative about the work itself...

But I just don’t respond to it. Almost all the other music I’ve been listening to over the last 10 years including very recently, feels like it’s been created in response to extremely personal experiences that haven’t all been great - singular or accumulations of events that have precipitated significant introspection, and the art that has resulted from it for me reflects it clearly. BT’s two albums feel like... a very fortunate and privileged guy who’s had a lot of time and opportunity to play with his gear, record it and release it. The title also sounds presumptuous as if to position that systemic poverty and oppression and struggle outside of ones’ control can be solved by the oppressed simply stopping being afraid and I border on hating it every time I read it... - and that sounds so horribly mean because it is, I don’t intend for it to be mean. I need to check my expectations and I need to respect that Brian is still doing what he wants to do and he doesn’t owe me anything, least of all in something as abstract as how something sounds and whether or not I like it, because ultimately that’s all I’m talking about here, no matter how obscure I want to make the discussion. The intent of the title, especially - I’m certain - isn’t to diminish those who suffer, and I should be careful in my reading of it. So keeping myself in check, I’m here to explore the rest of my response, and I’m going to try and give further context.

Coldplay

I’ve no problem telling you I like Coldplay. I guess if you knew more about my musical background, it’d be less of a surprise, tho if you’ve been following along, it’ll make sense. If you’re reading this journal backwards, it may or may not, depending on how much I write about production in the future. To cut a long story short, like many bands I’m almost not at all into the band themselves and almost entirely into the production that surrounds them. Meow meow meow, all the art purists will bang-on about how music is about the performers but producers and engineers are artists in every way as much as performers are, and even bands or individuals who “just perform” with their instrument and no-one else on stage and no technicals (screens, lights, unseen backing musos etc.) still have a myriad of people surrounding them without which they can’t execute their working careers. Anyway, feel free to remain ignorant of those facts if you like and be all “pure performers”, no problem - magic can be real for you.

I lost track of Coldplay at after their 2015 album A Head Full Of Dreams. I’m less emotionally invested in the band and totally don’t mind that they’d up until that point releasing more or less the same sound for four consecutive albums. I really like the sound and if you pay close enough attention, it was actually evolving nicely, enough for me at any rate. I’d forgotten all about the band which is easy to do when you don’t really pay attention to pop-music and the activities therein, and then a couple of months ago (January maybe?) by whatever divination of the YouTube algorithm, a video titled Coldplay: Everyday Life Live in Jordan came up in my recommendations - a thing I was until then, unaware even existed. I’d no idea what the band was doing and I’m always keen to give them a shot, so I clicked-thru.

Moments ago I said I was happy with the band doing the same sound over and over again, and when I listen back to those albums, I’m still fine with them - let’s call it the Viva/Prospekt’s/Dreams anthology. Several things struck me about Everyday Life. Given my personal experiences of the last ten years, my struggles and the struggles of everyone around me, both personal and the cultures I observe and choose to observe, watching these four guys geared up in these ruins in Jordan looked stupendously privileged and a massive flex of wealth and influence. It looked like money buying good photography, framing and impossible location kudos and style. The sound in culture to my personal experiences also felt irrelevant.

And now I can finally talk about

The 1975 - Reaching Out, Reaching In

I now don’t remember whether it was at the ABIIOR concert in Melbourne, September 2019, or in one of the many interview snippets on YouTube or an article - I’m fairly sure it was his voice, so I either saw him say it in a video or he said it at the concert or both. Matt Healy said something along the lines of...

“... I know our last album was very inwardly focused... but A Brief Inquiry is very outwardly focused... it’s more about the world... and you... and us...”

That is not at all what he said verbatim but it was something very similar to that so I desperately hope a 1975 fan drops in and corrects me or can find a clip of him repeating it. Anyway there are a lot of really good things to extract from that, firstly from what it means about The 1975′s music and the culture that forms around it, and then about the discussion I’m having.

BT, Coldplay and The 1975 all live in my Ultimate folder on my hard-drive,  but while BT and Coldplay fall where they will alpha-numerically as far as directory structure is concerned, The 1975 have the auspicious honour of having leading zeros in their text so they appear first. This is so that I never have to scroll all the way down to T in any program or utility (like my car’s head unit) to find them. Worth noting that composer Yoko Kanno is 01 and Underworld are 02.

The album that preceded A Brief Inquiry... was released in 2016, titled I Like It When You Sleep, For You Are So Beautiful Yet So Unaware Of It, an intentionally Emo title, I believe or at least hope, and it is definitely an inwardly focused album in the themes indicated by its lyrical content. It’s to date one of my favourite albums of all time, superbly performed and produced and overflowing with emotion - there’s some truly heartbreaking sound and words therein. I feel like this album is a perfect inclusion with the others in my Circa 2009 - 2019 piece that was somehow vaguely about how much of a struggle those 10 years have been. I guess it’d be difficult to get a notion of that if you’re not familiar with the music and material, but all of that music is introspective - it’s all about reaching in. As mentioned above, the art these artists are producing is the result of deeply intimate experiences, some they share directly with us outside of the abstract of art - relationships, family loss, drug addiction, mental health - but many that they don’t so clearly telegraph and leave us with the abstract; the art.

A Brief Inquiry.../ABIIOR certainly is about reaching out, even when the lyrics do seem to be personal, but to me as an individual, it feels to reach out in the right way - that is to say *I* feel it’s reaching out to a world *I* identify with, in a way that *I* agree with or find agreeable. The songs in ABIIOR are about misunderstanding, they’re about not giving up, making mistakes, desperation, honesty, the chaos of the destruction of modern society. One of my all-time favourite songs has sprung from this album and has become anthemic for me - Love It If We Made It and I’m going to embed it;

And now I feel I want to say that naming an album “Everything You’re Searching For Is On The Other Side Of Fear” and also performing a concert in ancient ruins on the top of a mountain during a picturesque sunrise in Jordan with expensive drone photography both feel to me like also reaching out but in ways that I don’t like and agree with, that feel irrelevant and/or culturally inappropriate but I use the term culturally to mean my personal culture; the culture I see myself fit into as an individual that interacts with others, the struggles we seem to share as a collective.

I feel as tho Coldplay once did reach out in the good way I’m trying and possibly failing to describe, or perhaps just trying to frame from a position I prefer. I felt they had a more grounded sense of community with everyday people which makes the irony of their most recent project more apparent. It may well be that I just don’t like what these artists are doing any more and that’s fine. Sometimes we might feel entitled to a sense of righteousness, to validate our distaste for something on a more grand cultural level, to co-opt others into our critique so more fingers can point and collectively say “See?! That thing you’re doing really *is* BAD! More people said so!” but I really am keeping myself in check and not wanting to do that. I think I’m writing this journal to explain myself to myself - yes, to log my justifications because I believe in them, but also ensure I don’t turn into an arsehole. 

Still - I stand by my criticisms because they’re important. I don’t know why in-particular these few examples struck in this way when others didn’t. I bought a bunch of Anjuna music that has nothing to do with culture and emotional response in the ways I’ve discussed them and I love them. Sometimes music is about bangin’ beats and euphoria and that’s OK. Still, the world isn’t entirely a joyous place for me at the moment and hasn’t been. There are positives to celebrate, but I have never been one to only log my celebrations. In particular from a mental health perspective, only documenting positives is incredibly hazardous and I condemn the practice. As much as these entries are laced with darkness and difficulties, each one also contains the things that assist me in surviving, keeping me nourished and navigating this often hellish experience of life. Ultimately of all my skills, seeking out art I identify with is the most valuable survival skill I have, it is the only one that matters. 

Love is a kind of art, there’s nothing abstract in that statement - the love between people is artful, in any and all forms it takes - hence the tags; Art Worth Dying For, and Art Worth Living For.

[dustedmagazine]

Dust Volume 5, Number 9

Tropical Fuck Storm

Just like that, summer’s over and we face a growing pile of late 2019 records. But before that, before we drag ourselves like kids to school into the second half, a moment to appreciate what’s accumulated.  This month’s Dust touches on groovy jazz tuba, punishing hardcore, a bracing industrial reissue, altered percussion and an OG Tuareg guitarist.  Contributors this time around include Isaac Olson, Ian Mathers, Jennifer Kelly, Jonathan Shaw, Bill Meyer and Andrew Forell.  

Joseph Allred — O Meadowlark (Feeding Tube) 

O, Meadowlark by Joseph Allred

 Plenty of people get the tag American Primitive Guitarist stuck on their rump these days. It’s not always appropriate and it’s not always welcome, but it adheres to Joseph Allred with the fastness of the truth.  Allred, a Tennessean who currently pursues higher learning at Boston College, understands that whether you use mountain music or raga-derived form as your framework (and he uses a bit of both, alternating between skeletal banjo figures and rushing guitar fantasias), the music has to project something beyond the notes. O Meadowlark not only evokes a cascade of emotions, some explicit and others allowed and bent until they’re beyond name, but he exerts an opposite pull. Like Robbie Basho or Steffen Basho Junghans, he draws the listener through the sound hole and into the tones and overtones that carom about the insides of his guitar.  Climb inside; like a Tardis, it has room for all.

Bill Meyer 

Caterina Barbieri — Ecstatic Computation (Editions Mego)

Ecstatic Computation by Caterina Barbieri

The title of Caterina Barbieri’s third LP suggests a congress of emotional states and cognitive processes; total neural action, you might say. The sound of the thing suggests another, maybe more personal integration. She favors massive, echo-haloed electronic sounds, the sort that would set off all manner of madness in the disco if only she’d subordinate them to a sufficiently clubby beat. But instead she juxtaposes them with wordless female vocals (not her own) and switched-on harpsichord sounds which lock together with a structural logic that probably comes natural to a person who grew up studying classical guitar. And while the sounds promise abandon, the way they lock together requires submission to a Bach-like allegiance to order. Promise delivered.

Bill Meyer

Theon Cross — Fyah (Gearbox Records)

Fyah by Theon Cross

Tuba player Theon Cross was the secret weapon of last year’s excellent Your Queen is a Reptile, by The Sons of Kemet. Fyah is Cross’s debut as a band leader, and  if the melodies occasionally sag, Cross and company generate more than enough energy to keep you, if not intently listening, grooving. Like many in the London jazz scene, Cross has no qualms about pulling in sounds from everywhere, and while not every experiment works (the synths and trap beats on “Panda Village” don’t add much), it keeps Fyah feeling fleet and admirably populist. Cross’s commitment to bring the tuba back to our attention and good graces is admirable, and he’s certainly the right guy for the job, but for better or for worse, he suffers the fate of all lower register players: disappearing when played back at anything less than high volume. As such, the real MVP on Fyah is tenor saxophonist and fellow London hotshot, Nubya Garcia. Fyah is a good record. It gets better the louder you play it.

Isaac Olson

 Drugs of Faith — Decay (Selfmadegod Records)

Drugs of Faith have been making records like Decay, their new EP, for quite a while now. The record is full of crossover hardcore that pushes on the pressure points of crust and sludge. It’s grimy, gritty, sweaty stuff and it’s really good. The focused truculence of a song like “Anonymity�� sharpens rather than overwhelms the tune’s tendencies toward melody, and what a frigging breakdown. The whole 7” — all ten minutes of it — is terrifically punishing. Or maybe it’s punishingly terrific. Whatever it is, it goes by quick. But that’s cool, you’ll just flip it and play it again. And like a live hardcore set, music this intense is best enjoyed in small, gut-thumping doses. Toward the end of the excellent track “Nihilists,” singer Richard Johnson (who also plays guitar) growls, “If I go down, I’m taking you all with me.” Sure sounds like he means it.

Jonathan Shaw

Help — Help (Self Released)

Help by Help

One advantage to keeping songs short and lyrics anthemic is that you can throw a whole lot of sludge into the works and still end up with tunes that folks will remember the next day. Portland noise-punk band does this six times on their quite good debut EP, Help. No surprises here, just grimy, coruscating punk that sounds amazing when you’re reading the latest update on our slide into oligarchy/kleptocracy/kakistocracy/planet death/what have you. Best of all is their theme song, which softens up a traditionally macho genre with some very welcome, very 2019 vulnerability (Complete lyrics: “Help!/I fucking need it!/You know I’ve battled but it’s all I can take!”) and the closer, “Class War Now” which is about… well, you know.

Isaac Olson

 HTRK – Nostalgia (Fire Records)

Nostalgia is the self-released 2004 debut EP by Australian experimental trio HTRK (Hate Rock Trio). Nigel Yang (guitar, programming, electronics), Jonnine Standish (voice, percussion, samples) and Sean Stewart (bass, programming, samples) produce seven tracks of heavy, noise intensive electronica with echoes of Throbbing Gristle, Pan Sonic and Suicide. Physically and psychically crushing, the tracks move at a funereal pace with waves of static and feedback crashing against bottom end bass, percussion and drum machines as Standish’s voice intones from a cave, a cross between Lydia Lunch and Alan Vega. Instrumental opener “Hate Rock Trio” begins quietly with the ticking of a clock, a time bomb with crashes of distorted percussion. Thereafter the song titles tell the story of the EP. Run together they form both a record of, and a demand to acknowledge, damage inflicted: “Look What’s Been Done/Look Down the Line/Look At That Girl/Look At Her/You Injured Me/I’m All Broke Up.” The intensity builds with each track as feedback and samples scratch atop thickening layers of black sludge. Re-released by Fire Records, Nostalgia is a bracing experience with a palpable sense of menace.

Andrew Forell

 Max Jaffe — Giant Beat (Ramp Local)

Giant Beat by Max Jaffe

If a curious listener was told Max Jaffe only used one instrument to make Giant Beat, they’d be forgiven for guessing something like a modular synth. Instead, it’s drums, but in a way that makes the question maybe a little bit of a cheat; Jaffe, drummer for JOBS, Elder Ones and others, was also a beta tester for something called Sensory Percussion that allows percussionists to use their instruments to trigger sounds and samples in a way that feels analogous to the chromatic, sometimes abrasive playing Ian Crause and Disco Inferno did with sampling. Of course, with a drum kit and that kind of setup, Jaffe can generate a whole album just by himself in a different way than you might get with, say, a singer and an acoustic guitar. Giant Beat dips its toes into various experimental waters, jazz here, electronics there, noise and musique concrete there, but always with the steady pulse of Jaffe’s one-take percussive playing behind it. The result feels like anything but a product demo; if anything, it feels like a new type of voice articulating itself.  

Ian Mathers  

Ocean Fanfare — First Nature (Barefoot)

First Nature by Ocean Fanfare

Whether you take the words First Nature as a prescription of priorities or a stern reminder of who is best equipped to play the long game in the battle between humankind and its environment, this is a record with a message. But since that message is being relayed via horns, bass, and drums, which play melodies that wind and ascend, one must exercise one’s emotional antennae to decode the vibe. Both trumpeter Tomsz Dabrowski and alto saxophonist Sven Dam Meinild are equally facile with post-bop tunes and extended technique explorations, and the shuttles between these poles gives the music a questing quality. They’re methodically seeking, not giving up hope, and the inventive ways they maintain balance on the fly suggests that they’re conscious of what tools will come in handy if people are going to survive.

Bill Meyer

 Abdallah Ag Oumbadougou — Anou Malane (Sahel Sounds)

Anou Malane by Abdallah Ag Oumbadougou

One of the original Tuareg guitar heroes, Abdallah Oumbadougou recorded these dreaming, droning, melancholic-with-a-swagger tunes in Benin in 1995 with the West African producer Nel Oliver. It was a step up for Oumbadougou, who had previously recorded mostly on boom boxes in encampments during breaks in the Tuareg rebellion, but the songs, even embellished with electronics and studio effects, have a raw, lonely power to them.  “Thingalene” drifts towards funky pop in its syncopated drum machines and squealing synths, but Oumbadougou’s voice carries over time and distance with a bracing authenticity. Other tracks, like “Tenere” splice the echoing snap of gate-reverbed drums to a beat that sways like camel caravans; the guitar work here is particularly fine. On its original release, Anou Malane introduced the world to the Tuareg’s keening, ambling desert blues; now it reminds us that artists like Tinariwen and Terekaft and Mdou Moctar are interpreting and extending — not inventing — a vibrant art form.

Jennifer Kelly

Savage Republic  —Gods  & Guns (Mobilization)

Savage Republic doesn’t pack the band schedule very tightly nowadays. The band, currently a quartet (Thom Fuhrmann, Ethan Port, Alan Waddington, Kerry Dowling), took the whole of the 1990s off and has made just two albums in this century. But when they do make a record, it hits hard. In days gone by they sounded like Rhys Chatham fronting the Ventures on an album of Aegean surfer themes, but now they sound just a bit like Michael Gira fronting Echo & the Bunnymen in some Bladerunner-like hell of a dark hole. “God & Guns,” sung in dire and reverb-swaddled tones by Fuhrmann, articulates understandable dismay at the twin lumps of stinky meat that are being held in front of the vast heard of fascism-embracing Americans. The instrumental on the flip is named “Tranquilo,” but you won’t rest while they’re charging you, driven by chain-gang shouts, oil drum lashes, and epically massive bass. Heavy shit for heavy times.

Bill Meyer

Sleeping Ancient — There Is No Truth But Death (Viridian Flame)

There Is No Truth But Death by Sleeping Ancient

In any number of ways, black metal and the horror fiction of H.P. Lovecraft are a good match. The overweening interest in darkness and unnamably horrific, indecipherably complex forms; the highly abstruse mysticism; the tinge of troubling racism and anti-Semitism — it’s sort of uncanny. Sleeping Ancient aren’t the first black metal band to express a deep appreciation for Lovecraft’s weird fictions. Heck, they probably aren’t even the tenth or the fiftieth. But if they’re not breaking any new ground, thematically or musically, at least they’re making good songs. Check out the grand dirge of “Akeru,” or the slow but assured drift, from frigidly delicate melody to batshit intensity, that forms “Taphephobic Hallucinations” (taphephobia, by the way, is crippling fear of the grave—not death so much as the gravesite itself). The songs are typical of Sleeping Ancient’s mannered but powerful playing, which the band sustains across the whole of There Is No Truth But Death. It’s a good record to play as we wait for Cthulu. Judging by current conditions, we won’t have long to wait.

Jonathan Shaw

 Sore Points — Not Alright (Slovenly)

SORE POINTS "Not Alright" EP by Sore Points

If you miss the Marked Men, how ‘bout some hard, fast punk rock from Vancouver? This four-song 7 inch, following a 2018 self-titled on Deranged, snarls and stomps with feverish fury, making the most of its double drummed, guitar stabbed, bass whomped basics. You’d infer a few battered Ramones records in the rec room, but also punks both harder core and more melodic—Black Flag on one end and the Buzzcocks on the other. “Not Alright” rampages at blur speed. The drummer, whoever he is (Sore Points are not big on self-promotion), gets a monster workout here, but really everybody is pushing about as hard as it goes. “Not Coming Back,” is likewise accelerated, but in an anthemic, memorable way. As a non-professional, you’d kill yourself trying to keep up playing these songs, but you can sing along, no problem, after just one or two spins.

Jennifer Kelly

 Tropical Fuck Storm — Braindrops (Joyful Noise)

Braindrops by Tropical Fuck Storm

“Braindrops,” the title track from this second Tropical Fuck Storm album, slinks and rattles and backpedals, its rhythm complicated and syncopated, its stream-of-consciousness lyrics about dreams and waking (“But you gotta get up because time is nagging like a dog humping your leg”) as tangled as the polyrhythmic beat. There’s a slant of ska in the bass, a dissolute hint of post-punk in the cracked vocals and a baroque inclination to stuff things to the gills in the overload of just about everything. Tropical Fuck Storm tilts recognizable forms so far over that they always seem to be careening into chaos. A hip friendly bump of bass and drums is just a landing pad for guitar noises that crash, still burning, to the ground. Even the ballads (“Paradise” both “Marias”) teem with noise and dissonance. Braindrops is never an easy listen. It verges, fairly often, on the unpleasant. But in a world where everything spins down to a grey Spotified entropy, it’s a prickly, fascinating, mess of bright colored wires; go ahead cut one and see if it explodes.

Jennifer Kelly

 Various Artists — Greys (Anachronisme)

Greys by Field Guides

In this day and age, if one even wanted to put together a new “We Are the World,” where would one start? Leverage Models’ return to music last year with the phenomenal Whites was partly so that previously-shelved record could raise money for the Southern Poverty Law Center, and here the band and Anachronisme Records are at it again. Raising money for the Mohawk Valley Resource Center for Refugees this time, instead of trying to rope everyone they know into one big aesthetically-dubious singalong, they’ve put together with any number of friends a smorgasbord of 21 tracks all somehow ‘in conversation’ with the music on Whites. There are plenty of intriguing covers, remixes, and other deconstructions, from Field Guides’ glowing, pastoral version of “If I Let You Stay” to the menacing buzz of DOV’s remix of “Dark Pools,” to Concierge Records and The Working Elite’s “transatlantic meditation” on the feeling of the first song on Whites with “Day Two,” as well as two unreleased tracks from Leverage Models. Then there are the contributions that just engage with the emotions and stories of the original album, like Courtship Ritual’s haunting “Uncle Incision” and William Tyler’s gorgeous “She Swims in Hidden Water.” There’s a lot here to absorb, but even if you’re not familiar with the source material it all stands on its own, even as it’s still one of the most intriguing expansions of an album in recent memory. Not to mention hopefully a more effective way to help a good cause.

Ian Mathers

 avery r. young—Tubman (FPE)

tubman. by avery r. young

avery r. young brings the sizzle in this paean to African-American musical traditions from skanky funk to body-moving R&B to soul-on-fire gospel, complete with a full choir. The multi-talented Chicagoan took inspiration from his own book—Neckbone: Visual Verses—from Nina Simone and from the singer Jamila Woods, whose superlative pipes provide the uplift of many of these cuts. “Maasai” slouches so far into a smouldery blacksploitation groove as to be nearly horizontal, all evil wah-wah’d twitch and rumbling bass and slashing lightning bolts of disco strings, while “go'head mary & weep” takes things to the church with a massive harmonized swell. young himself has a fine, fluttery, emotionally nimble tenor, shades of the Reverend Al Green in his supple phrasing, but his songs take flight when they’re sung by a crowd, as on the spiritually stirring “lead in da wattah” and especially, the monster highlight “get to know a nina simone song” which rolls on like a doo-wopping, gospel-quarteting freight train right on to Mississippi. God damn, indeed.