#anyways time to get back to making young royals edits <3

[goldenn-moments]

this is slowly turning into just a place for me to ramble abt my current hyperfixation (aka yr rn) but anywho I just needed to post somewhere that I am SO incredibly proud of edvin and omar. like, I'm sitting in my dorm room absolutely freaking the fuck out and trying to not wake up my roommate as I try to contain my excitement abt them being in new york, on an american talk show, smiling and absolutely glowing as they get to talk in front of the fallon crowd. I just - I've been lurking in this fandom for a hell of a long time, so I'm so incredibly proud of how far they've come and happy for all that's to come for them. I've never been so attached to the cast of a show before, but there's just something about this cast that makes me want them to just have the whole world

[redleavesinthewind]

elliot's 2023 fic wrap up

2022 version

alright friends it is once again time for me to review the (many) fics i read in the previous year and try to write a more or less concise rec list of my absolute faves (i wish i didn't have to chose but heh i'm not gonna subject anyone to 332 fics in 1 post - also wait only 332 fics? that's like. over 100 less than last year, what the fuck. anyway)

okay now first the part that interests no one but me (yes you may skip this) and that's the numbers part! i'm not making a whole elaborate spreadsheet to then not throw around cool numbers. anyway.

i've read around 4,932k words in 332 fics across 18 fandoms. that is much less than last year, and yeah, i've been generally less productive in 2023 but we don't have to talk about it. at least i have more variety of fandoms this time (let's ignore that it's only 2 more and also that from fandom 13 on there's only 1 fic per fandom)

i started out the year strong with 847k words across 72 fic in february (followed by 753k across 42 fics in january, and 621k words across 63 fics in march). it goes downhill for the rest of the year. eh it wasn't my year so what! 2024 is gonna be more filled with fic reading again!!!

my top 3 fandoms are so entirely unsurprising to me i am almost disappointed in myself. when did i become so predictable. top fandom is young royals with 166 fics! congratulations young royals, you are a very persistent hyperfixation, you didn't peter out after 2 months like i expected. Spot number 2 is taken by avatar the last airbender with 41 fics! giant leap there, but it's also funny because i fell into an atla rabbit hole late 2023 (as i do every few years) and it still got up to 41 fics despite uni not allowing me to read last semester (uni is evil). Same as last year, spn takes third place with 38 fics. speaking of persistent hyperfixations.......... *big sigh*

and that is it the boring part is over let's go to the fun section LET'S REC SOME FIIIIIICCCCSSSSSSS (under the cut)

JANUARY

bet you you'll ... (noraverse) (series) by @gh0sthugs | young royals, wilmon | teen&up | 52k words

a kid fic!! and such a sweet one too! i'm kinda weak for kid fics ngl, and nora is so sweet and wonderful, and the relationship that slowly forms between wille and simon is beautiful and comfortable. this whole series is just such a good time

spreadsheet notes: ah to fall in love with the dilf next door who also happens to be the ex crown prince of the country

A Royal Intervention by AnxiousAnaconda | young royals, wilmon | teen&up | 18k words

erik is being such a dumbass in this one. like, he means well, but he's kinda messing up and pissing people off (understandably). it's nice to get a view on erik that's not portraying him as this perfect guy though, and the fic is actually so much fun to read. and hey, the prime minister of luxembourg gets mentioned, which i was kinda waiting for in yr fic ngl

spreadsheet notes: big sigh... erik you fucking idiot. stop listening to august. also shoutout to xavier bettel apparently (edit: this aged poorly, fuck xavier bettel)

and each slow dusk by @if-fortunate | young royals, wilmon | mature | 49k words

okay. ooookay how do i even begin with this one. ohhh boy. okay. so. world war three. wille gets stuck in bjärstad with simon, many many things happen, it's about finding hope in a horrible situation and trying to live life despite everything falling apart around you. it's incredibly well written and something about it just has me in awe

spreadsheet notes: i don't know what it says about me that this is without a shadow of a doubt the best fic i have ever read in my life

Put Me Back Together and Take My Heart by @notalotgoingonatthisinstant | young royals, wilmon | mature | 50k words

i once again don't know what to say, this one is sooo good. simon is suffering and both wille and i hate it, but... but wille is there for him and ugh, they just... they just can't be apart. a story of reconciliation and healing from both physical and invisible wounds, and of making the right decisions for yourself

spreadsheet notes: ugh. UGH. my guys. MY GUYS. yeah let's go blackmail the queen

Department Six by @thisdiscontentedwinter | teen wolf | gen | 4k words

a fun short one about stiles and danny working for the fbi and being delightfully weird and mysterious

spreadsheet notes: HILARIOUS i'm in love with outsider pov always

FEBRUARY

There Are No Wolves in California by @thisdiscontentedwinter | teen wolf, sterek | gen | 5k words

you know, sometimes you see a fic you know is going to hurt you, and you've never clicked on anything faster. this is definitely one of those fics

spreadsheet notes: let's be wolves today yeah well derek what if i just break down and cry instead

you got my body, i got your body by @prince-simon | young royals, wilmon | explicit | 9k words

this one's technically part of a bigger series (which, definitely read that one too), but i'm highlighting this one cause... damn... this made me feel things... like, gender things... which is really weird cause wille's gender in this is very much different from mine BUT STILL

spreadsheet notes: how almost 9k of pwp gave me so many gender feelings i will never understand

Changing Channels: Queer Premiere by @emeraldcas, @fellshish | spn, deancas | gen | 27k words

this might actually be one of the funniest fics i've ever read. dean and cas are so stupid (affectionately) and all the crossovers are delightful (bonus that i knew all the other shows). everyone go read this it's gonna be the best time

spreadsheet notes: mel and fells have genuinely outdone themselves this is the most hilarious shit i've ever read

Catalyst by @stretchoutfics | young royals | teen&up | 3k words

a backstory for boris! this fic is within a series of other side character ficlets, but this one has a soft spot in my heart

spreadsheet notes: AAAAHHHH HE KNEW ABOUT THE RECKLESS DRIVING BUT DIDN'T BRING IT UP but also... him being a gay man trying to help the queer crown prince navigate his sexuality that's kinda nice actually, like boris understands at least a bit

The most beautiful boy by lovelysarcastic | young royals, wilmon | teen&up | 88k words

there's something incredibly grounding about this fic. the way it develops, the way wille rationalises his thought processes, the way the relationship between wille and simon develops... this fic just kinda sucked me in and spit me out again feeling... content and calm and... it's just... this fic is so beautiful

spreadsheet notes: dude i love this so much??? they're both so stupid??? i love them???

MARCH

All's Fair in Love and Hunting by @badjoices | spn, deancas | mature | 20k words

they're playing gay chicken but also are being incredibly competitive and stupid about it, and i'm just sorry about the shit sam has to witness. so many shenanigans in this fic

spreadsheet notes: they are both so stupid omg

["mi cotufita" started sharing their screen] by @omar-rudeberg | young royals, wilmon | explicit | 60k

so... this is a follow up to one of my favourite fics and it is a delight. very horny but also very sweet? and also for some reason there's porn. fun times! oh, and this fic made me cry. it really has the range

spreadsheet notes: how are they so horny it's so funnyyyyyy, but also if i were wille i could never look linda in the eyes again

A Light To Guide You In The Dark (Warmed By The Fire's Glow) by 80shairmetal | stranger things, harringrove | teen&up | 19k words

this is just... people taking care of each other out of the kindness of their hearts. finding comfort in strangers who become family. growing and helping each other. there's such a beauty to this one

spreadsheet notes: this is just..... comfort

did you see the love in my eyes, oh were you gazing through this disguise? by @tooindecisivetopickaurl | young royals, wilmon | mature | 67k words

fake dating my beloved. they're so in love with each other but they're pretending not to be while pretending... to be? i'm obsessed with them. but they're so respectful with each other and cautious of boundaries and they really are best friends who also happen to be obliviously in love

spreadsheet notes: love a good fake dating au they're so stupid i love them

flash like a setting sun by @playedwright | 911, buddie | explicit | 22k words

because you only realise you're in love with your best friend when you're scared you're losing him. that's the fic. and it's beautiful

spreadsheet notes: oh this is sooooo beautifully written and ugh just <333

Other people's secrets by @sflow-er | young royals, walty & wilmon | mature | 239k words

yooooo hello? so first off this is an outsider pov on wilmon which i am always obsessed with anyways but the focus isn't just on them, this is henry's story. it's a beautiful story about how friendships form and warp and change, how feelings manifest in different ways, how decisions and actions have consequences. it's an incredibly mature take on post-s1, and it's probably my favourite of the year. also ace representation!!!!

spreadsheet notes: ace henry my beloved <33 also love seeing wilmon from an outside perspective! such a good, well thought out fic with lots of healthy comminication <33

APRIL

if i stare too long by @brawlite & @toast-ranger-to-a-stranger | stranger things, harringroveson | explicit | 191k words

i haven't seen st s4 (and probably won't watch it) but that definitely won't stop me from reading harringroveson fic. i mean, who wouldn't look at those three and immediately want to see them together. the way their dynamic is written in this fic is peak, i don't even know what more to say. i also very much trust these authors with billy, and again i wasn't disappointed. there's just something in his head that's intriguing.

spreadsheet notes: this whole fic is such a vibe it makes me feel of hot summer chillin

MAY

Rewrite the Stars (series) by @in-amor-veritas | young royals, wilmon | mature | 137k words

definitely one of the highlights of the year, simon's whole life in new york... those scenes, they just show such a wonderful life simon has built for himself, and his relationship with wille doesn't change it, but he manages to fit in (after, you know, fun rom-com drama shenanigans). also. this is a kid fic. kid fics are my weak spot. rasmus is my new favourite little guy. also shoutout to luis best side character ever

spreadsheet notes: YELLING i love this fic sooo much it is everything

Where The Wind Will Carry Me by @1-life-to-give | young royals, wilmon | teen&up | 49k words

AND THEY WERE ACTORS PLAYING LOVE INTERESTS. do i have to say more? the tension guys the TENSION. also erik's side-plot i'm in love

spreadsheet notes: hopping up and down like a hyperactive chihuahua EN I LOVE THIS

Your love is my turning page (the t4t wilmon as girldads au) (series) by @willesworld | young royals, wilmon | teen&up | 17k words

i know i know another kid fic BUT!!!! t4t wilmon. makes it automatically superior. i'm not even kidding, add trans characters and i will like your fic (that i probably already like a lot) aroun 300000000 times more. but also this series comes for your feelings. it hits

spreadsheet notes: i am weak for t4t wilmon AND them having a biological child there's something so beautiful about it like that could be meeee ; siiimon i need to hug him and i need to hug wille they're gonna get out of this i prommy ; recovery and one step forwards a hundred steps back, but they made it there in the end ; they were so happy :((((

JUNE

A trace of dew by nuncflore | elden ring, this is too complicated | gen | 13k words

very elden ring-esque writing style, wonderful representation of whatever the hell is going on in the lore. hehehehehhe fucked up family ehhehehehe DIVORCE. my friends are so talented :))

spreadsheet notes: CAP I AM EATING YOU

Hanging from the Ceiling by @spicymiilk | spiderverse | teen&up | 6k words

for like. a week after i saw the new spiderverse movie i made miles 42 my entire life. that also meant reading this fic. and damn did this fic hit. i am still thinking about it

spreadsheet notes: i need more miles 42 content he is my favourite guy ever

The Darkest Little Paradise by @yourdemiurge | young royals, wilmon | explicit | 79k words

*holding you at gunpoint* read this fic. read it now, in this moment. you are not gonna regret it. believe me when i say you NEED this fic, you really do. doesn't even matter if you've seen yr or not. you're gonna thank me later

spreadsheet notes: THIS IS INSANE I CAN'T BREATHE MADY WHAT THE FUUUUUCK

JULY

Protected (series) by bastuba | young royals, wilmon | explicit | 69k words

hey do you ever read a fic and you just feel. so incredibly grounded because something about the characters feels grounded? like, they aren't grounded, but they still give off that vibe? idk how to explain this properly but that's this fic. also wille and simon cook together (i haven't read all parts of the series yet btw)

spreadsheet notes: incredibly grounded very mature how is wille like this ; i'd be like wille, always complaining about the heat ; they're soooooo. idiots. getting tattoos for each other ; i too would come out on a podcast about food ; SAFE SEX

AUGUST

The Season of Rebirth by @notalotgoingonatthisinstant | young royals, wilmon | mature | 30k words

part of a series, but i'm picking out this one specifically because it's soooo sweet!!! the title fits the fic so well, like yes it is the season of rebirth, but simon and wille's relationship is also rehashed in a very cool way, this fic is like one giant easter egg, i love it so much!

spreadsheet notes: wille taking the season of rebirth to recreate their early relationship, i am obsessed with him he's such a dumbass romantic

The Upgrade by @groenendaelfic | young royals, wilmon | explicit | 13k words

it's about the moment simon realises who wille is. that's why this fic is here. i mean of course also because it is very good, but mainly because of that moment

spreadsheet notes: the moment simon realised who wille is i am wheezing

Right Where You Left Me by @armandgender | spn, deancas | explicit | 94k words

if you're wondering why this fic is on my 2023 list instead of the 2022 list.... well that's because it took me almost a year to read the last chapter, and in terms of how my spreadsheet works, that makes it a fic i read in 2023. anyway. if you haven't read this fic yet, what are you even still doing here. click on that link right now. you want complex emotional situations? intricacies of ill-advised marriages? you wanna pick through abusive behaviour and encourage infidelity? well you're at the right place! also this has one of my favourite jack characterisations ever. it also made me go on multiple rants

spreadsheet notes: I FINALLY FINISHED IT AAAAHHHH I LOVE THIS FIC THE CABIN THE CATS JACK!!!!!

Alejito y Marimar (series) by th0ughts | red, white, and royal blue | teen&up | 18k words

OBSESSED WITH THIS DYNAMIC YOOOOOO. seriously the friendship between alex and martha is an expansion of the rwrb universe that is much needed, trust me

spreadsheet notes: the friendship i didn't know i needed in my life <333 ; they're just chillin!!!

SEPTEMBER

Change of Address (series) by hearmerory | avatar: the last airbender, zukka | mature | 134k words

okay. oooookay. strap in for this one, it is a lot. emotionally. like yes zuko is autistic, yes yes yeeees, i agree, also azula is treated like an actual person with actual mental issues, she deserves to be treated with care and this author definitely does that! this is the kind of series that makes me want to disappear in it, but it's also the kind of story i need breaks from, because it is so heavy (definitely check the tags for this one). zuko's relationship with sokka is written so thoughtfully and iroh is characterised incredibly and the author even included ursa in a way that didn't undermine everything that happened in the series before she appeared again. i can only recommend this one!

spreadsheet notes (there's lots of parts to the series, so this one is long): hhhh if i were ms jamieson i would have snapped after two days probably ; be nice katara!!!!! he's nervous ; i need to murder ozai ; and i need to murder zhao as well ; iroooohhhhh he should have just. taken the kids with him that first time he noticed something off ; yeah i think there was a reason why iroh never took zuko to the movies ; ozai needs to suffer ; i need to destroy ozai. violently and painfully ; iroh is the best uncle ever, zuko deserves all his kindness ; azula...... you don't have to fight for affection, it's not a competition..... they love you ; iroh should have taken her with him the first time around, she was like. 10, he could have just picked her up or sth ; ..... hakoda you idiot ; IROH BACKSTORY IROH BACKSTORY ; sokka and the plan that changed his life <3333 ; they are so soft with each other ; they all deserve all the therapy and support and yes sokka obviously you have adhd get with the program ; URSA??????? also i am living for sokka and azula's dynamic they are everything ; i don't. i don't understand her. i don't fucking understand her how could she not want her own children. how can she talk about them like that. like she knows them she doesn't know them she LEFT

Every night my teeth are falling out by @sulkybender | avatar: the last airbender, zukka | mature | 9k words

i was in need of some good zuko angst and oooohhh boy was i lucky to find this author. PEAK zuko angst. this fic in particular is very dear to me because it explores how mental illnesses would be handled in a world where there's practically no resources to help. i think we need that more

spreadsheet notes: yes well. how DO you deal with a schizophrenic fire lord in a fantasy world? (you stay with him and support him that is how)

OCTOBER

for years or for hours by @ghostinthelibrarywrites | the witcher, geralt/eskel/jaskier | explicit | 52k words

listennn i love myself some good polyamory fics, and this is the first fic i read for this ship and now i am OBSESSED with them. but this fic in particular.... the concept alone, like. what do you do when you thought the man you love was dead for 800 years, and then when he comes back you have another man you love. the answer is simple. polyamory. the two men you love also love each other. perfect coincidence.

spreadsheet notes: YO the concepts of witchers in modern times alone is sooo cool but adding in everything else? hello yes?

this is a love story by @achillestiel | supernatural, deancas | mature | 3k words

listen, i've never seen fleabag, but that's not the point. this is intriguing and funny, that's the point

spreadsheet notes: fucked up families and you want to fuck the priest hell yeah

The road not taken looks real good now by @stretchoutfics | young royals, wilmon | explicit | 90k words

it's not even the wilmon part i love about this fic (i very much enjoy it of course don't get me wrong) but wille and his kids. like, i don't want to spoil anything but like. wille's interactions with his kids are so important in this fic, and they're written so well. like, emilia is my favourite character in this, i kinda wish there was more with the kids honestly. this fic is definitely a highlight of the year, and to get back to wilmon, i do love how they're portrayed in this fic, how their dynamic plays out, and specifically how certain decisions do not depend on simon

spreadsheet notes: no but. the care put into this story. i can't--

NOVEMBER

Averno (series) by @sulkybender | avatar: the last airbender, zukka | mature | 12k words

a fascinating take on a fire lord zuko that was never part of the gaang

spreadsheet notes: HE JUST DESERVES KINDNESS but also he's a little fucked up WELL NO WONDER GIVE HIM KINDNESS ; i mean.... what makes a monster really ; well then let's get him out of his cell shall we (also hiiiii suki hello <3333)

Half Awake in Our Fake Empire by @hmslusitania | 9-1-1, buddie | teen&up | 34k words

another kid fic!!! but in a different fandom this time!!! seriously, giving buck a child fills so many of my life's needs it's ridiculous

spreadsheet notes: THEY'RE A FAMILY (thank you for giving that man a child)

a soldier (who carries a mighty sword) by @ghostinthelibrarywrites | the witcher, geralt/eskel/jaskier | explicit | 92k words

everything about this fic is wonderful!! the world(kaer morhen!!)building, the developing dynamic between geralt, jask, and eskel, ciri and yenn, the conflict, jask as a teacher!!!! aaahhhhh!

spreadsheet notes: they're my new favourite guyssss this whole fic is so cool, what they've done with kaer morhen <3333

Will We Last the Night by CSHfic & VSfic | avatar: the last airbender, zukka | teen&up | 143k words

this fic asks what if sokka had been stuck with zuko since the end of s1 and delivers a delightful answer. this is the adventures of zuko and sokka (and sometimes iroh) travelling through the earth kingdom. shenanigans ensue

spreadsheet notes: i am obsessed with this i'm just. i know it was only shortly but their life in ba sing se. obsessed

DECEMBER

Grudge Match by @catcas22 | elden ring | gen | 17k words

i'm not entirely sure how to explain this. it sure is an elden ring fic

spreadsheet notes: i don't even know what to say. this is ridiculous and brilliant and stupid and genius all at the same time. hell yeah suburban demigods

Lonely Digging by @toast-ranger-to-a-stranger | stranger things, harringrove | teen&up | 3k words

this is hilarious. go read it to unlock intense life-threatening flirting

spreadsheet notes: best way to flirt billy's doing everything right

***

(quick note: i’ve tried to find everyone’s tumblr handle, but i’m aware that not all the authors have tumblr/have it on their ao3, however if i somehow missed someone, i can go back and rectify that!)

if you’ve made it all the way down here i am giving you a kiss <3

[the-penguinspy]

3, 5 , 9 & 30 for the music asks 🐧🥰🫵

3. A song that reminds you of summertime

cool for the summer by demi lovato!!! the first time i listened to the song was in the winter BUT the youtube video that i searched up to listen to it had demi lovato and a whole bunch of people at her house or smth having a pool party, so every time that song comes up i think of the pool party and how everyone's having a blast. and that's a summer vibe if any B)

5. A song that needs to be played LOUD

let's dance to joy division by the wombats!!!! it's loud it's FAST there's almost NO BREAKS between words i'm ALWAYS out of breath singing everything and yelling the words and when it comes on i HAVE to turn up the volume every time!!! it's exhilarating and joyful and at the end of the track, the band members have a little laugh because they're having so much fun and it's almost like we are all friends and singing the song together at the same time 🥰

8. A song about drugs or alcohol

oooh i'm torn between tik tok by ke$ha and royals by lorde. both are party songs (songs about partying?) but with very different vibes and i love them both 😌

(more points for royals because the album is called...pure heroine...hehe... get it? well . i myself only just got it recently)

30. A song that reminds you of yourself

young pilgrims by the shins. listened to it at a heart-achy though hopeful moment when i was younger, and the song always brings me back to myself at that moment in time, the kid i was. i remember listening to the song for the first time and not really liking it that much actually - the twang of the guitar was a bit weird to my ears and it didn't really follow the pop formula of "choose four chords and stick with it" that i was oh-so-familiar with, and also i found it hard to sing so i was actually kind of "ehh" towards it LMAO. and then i listened to it like two more times and fell in love :) i still can't really sing it well. it's one of my favourite songs to date.

edit: ok i just realized that 9 was asked for and not 8 im so sorry im a fool and im honking!!! 😭😭😭anyway:

9. A song that makes you happy

cloud 9 by beach bunny!!! just a really upbeat and cheerful song in general and it lifts my spirits whenever it comes on :) equally as good is the version that features tegan and sara where they sound so cute, and also the pronouns change every chorus 🥰

[iinafarawaygalaxii]

Star Wars the Clone Wars: Bloodline

Welcome back!

Thank you for your patience, I have lots of editing to do with a majority of my works before posting but I am happy to present ALL three prequels to my fanfic SWTCW: Bloodline about my OC's back story and what brought her into the Clone Wars. Any feedback to make your reading experience easier is always welcome! Don't be too discouraging though haha! Im not the best writer but, were here for a good time, not a long time (:

If you havent yet, read this post to give you a summary on the fic youre reading. Its general information and will let you know the warnings in each fic.

Anyways~ Enjoy! Ill be posting the first chapter very soon <3

Prequel i : Freedom

Timeline: 32 BBY

Summary: A young princess trapped in the claws of royals duties begins to questions her life and her role as a heir to the throne wondering what it truly felt like to be free.

Word Count: 1.4k

Warnings: Abuse

Rating: SFW

Notes:

*Baraata- Tiger like creature with 6 legs and is a little larger than a lion on my OC's Planet 

*Maybe a curse word or two?

________________________________________________________

Summer was the best month in Astra and was well known for its crystalized waters and deep blue skies. Even though the planet only has one continent, it houses millions of people with the center of it being... Well royalty. The Capital was her home and she hasnt seen much of her planet aside from the outskirts of the castle in the fields by the edge of the continent. The Castle itself sat on top of a big cliff, leaving little land between it and the ocean. Although she can see the water from her room, nothing beat standing in-front of it. Nothing beat that little taste of freedom and as the waves crashed onto shore, pushing golden sands back to the surface- she stood there with her eyes closed listening to the peak of natures music. Being a princess was no easy feat, in fact, it was challenging. Aside from the strict rules, the training to become an heir to the throne was enough work to tear ones hair out. As she is becoming of age, things only got harder to meet the expectations her parents and the entire planet laid out for her. Her only resolve was being able to come to places like this to escape for a few moments before returning to her cage. What was it like being trapped? Born into a destiny already planned for you?

It was this…

As the castle bells ring, the sound carried itself through the wind, brining both the young princess and her tiger like companion at attention. The Mid-Summers Festival was starting—something her parents anticipated she was in her room getting ready for. It was crucial for the royals to pray to the gods to keep the land bountiful for them and their citizens. Most importantly, it was their responsibility to do it in front of them to maintain faith for the Gods. That's what all of this is for- a show for something that may or may not exist. Either way, she still had a duty. She got up already clothed in her deep blue, lightly hemmed festival gown, patting the sand off her dress. "Come on Sentra.", she whispered to her Baraata, petting the black fur behind the creature's ear that made her hand small in comparison. It was crazy- such a massive carnivores creature, completely untamable, yet the princess of Astra had one herself and only for her. They are peculiar creatures with a wit similar to the people of Astra, which often made them dangerous. However, after being lost in the forest as a child and the Royals believing her death had come to pass- she emerged with the tiger looking creature as her guide. The planet erupted with joy as the prophecy that has thought to be dormant for eons brought itself to life. She was a celebrity all throughout the Galaxy at the tender age of 10 and a symbol for something darker itching it’s way closer to reality. 

With the event that happened to the young princess, the royals decided to take the Baraata in and has been with her every day, protecting her. The King and Queen of Astra, her parents, have been strict with her since then under the assumption that she was not only the prophecy but the next Perfecti, or in broader terms, the next ruler of Astra. Darkness was lurking around the corner and it was something she was prophesied to protect her people from. Something her brother, Sol, was extremely jealous about that lead to a deep seeded hatred for one another. Despite the fact that they were twins- he was technically born first. Which lore and law states thats just how it goes, 'The First Born- Next leader of Astra- Blah Blah Blah'... Either way, it was a responsibility she didn't want anyways and tried to escape that reality frequently. It had only brought her pain and sadness which didn't make for a good ruler anyways, at least... thats what she thought.

"Lets go Sentra-", The creature got up as Vera readjusted the saddle on its back, "Alright big boy-", she hopped on grabbing the reigns, "Lets get me back in time, yeah?", she smiled petting his sweet spot behind the ear. He took a second, plotting his course in his mind before he took full speed in less then 5 seconds. Baaratas are fast, with 6 legs they can reach top speeds up to 160 kilometers per mile which was, lets just say, really fast. She was some clicks outside the city but Sentra could get her there in minutes and as the wind surfed through her hair, he took off through the forest and fields straight back to the castle; both sensing that this day was the last they could be free like this.

-

Most towns and smaller cities around the continent travel to the Capital for such festivities, especially for important events like these. As you could imagine, the outskirts of the Capital were covered with tents for markets, games, and food. It was buzzing with pure happiness. A sense of peace most planets strive for and could only dream of. Everyone was cheerful.. happy- which only meant the rulers have been doing their job right. In their world, the Capital was a haven, a 'place where you could touch the gods' and they spent no expense proving that year by year for generations. I mean, the architecture alone was chiseled by hand in white stone by great architects ages ago. Each and every chisel, down to the finest detail was a story of Astra carved on massive pillars and arches all throughout the city; hidden by beautiful vines that sprouted purple and blue flowers that remain preserved and tended to daily. The Capital was a heaven in its own. 

As the young princess made her way getting closer to society, she patted her baraata gently on the neck, "Slow down Sentra.", Directing him behind a large tree right outside of the castle walls. She threw her cape on and lifted her hood, further concealing her identity from the public. "All right buddy, You know what the do.". The baraata took the necessary steps to remain hidden as he slowly made his way behind and through the tents that were outside of the castle, straight to the great stone wall protecting her foretress. Once he made it through, the princess guided him to one of the towers attached to the castle that protrude out from the walls enough to help them remain concealed while entering the courtyard above. She looked up, making sure the guards weren’t posted in the tower and on their breaks. She looked down to Sentra and nodded, confirming that it was time to enter. He took a few steps back before launching into the air and attaching himself to the Castle walls. He continued running up to the top, making it straight into the courtyard. Despite the busy day, the guards seemed to have lost their touch on security, which worked fantastically for the young princess. "Good boy.", She scratched his sweet spot before hopping off to guide them the rest of the way. As they snuck through courtyard into a fortress of marbled halls, she finally reached her room without being seen. A deep sigh exited her lips as she saw her hallway was empty. It was the perfect time to get to her room. As she stood directly in front of her door checking both ways for guards or maids, she slowly opened the door to her room quickly entering with Sentra before closing the door as quietly as possible. Once they were fully in, she exhaled and put her head on the door, grinning to herself, that yet again, they have not been caught. She was getting better at this. "Thank god", she whispered to herself, "Good thing you can climbs walls... huh Sentra?", before turning around….

She froze- instantly falling to her knees and bowed deeply, forehead to the cold marble flooring, tucking her arms into her chest preparing herself for the worst. "Father Im sorry I-", she began to panic, her heart racing faster than it had ever been before, "Shh!", he exclaimed before getting up to stand in front of her. Each footstep that echoed through the room meant more uncertainty the closer he got and as the steps stopped, she looked up slightly to see his shoes millimeters from her face. "Look at me child", he beckoned reaching his hand out to hers, pulling her up to her feet. She continued to look down trailing over to her mother sitting in the seat, trying to come up with something to calm them down.  "Mother, I-" 

**SLLLLLLLAAAAPPPPPP**

The princess fell down catching herself with one arm, pausing to realize what had happened. She brought her free hand to touch the stinging bruise that was coming on as a tear began down her face. Sentra immediately launched at the Queen only to be shocked in one swift move by her mothers lightening completely incapacitating the Baraata. He fell to the floor falling inches from the Queen with the electricity still making its mark rippling through his body. "SENTRA!", the princess screamed as she cupped her mouth. She couldn't do anything because if she moved... would she be next? Her eyes began to fill with angry tears but continued looking down because meeting her mother and fathers gaze or even moving a muscle would mean an uncertain future for her. Her father kneeled down beside her lightly grabbing her jaw, "If you leave the castle again GenoVera, you will remain here, in this room, for the rest of your life. Do I make myself clear?", The princess could only glare with tears streaming down her face- thinking that maybe dying in the forest would've been better at this point. Between her worries over Sentra and wishing she was never here, she couldn't utter a word. Completely lost in her thoughts as her father gave her a faint reminder by grazing his thumb over her bruised cheek, "Am. I. Clear?", He stated as she whimpered from the pain. She looked up meeting his golden eyes— a fire so scary that it only brought fear when you meet his gaze, "Yes your highness...", She sniffled before he roughly let go. As the King and Queen began to leave, General Cassius who witnessed the unnecessary horror gazed down to her and whispered "I'm sorry..", before exiting with the Perfecti.

She burst into tears and slowly crawled over to Sentra. The heart beat was there, but with her blood racing so much she couldn’t focus enough to wake him up. She broke down beginning to hate herself for not taking the last moment she had to be free. All she could do was cry in an endless song of tears and sadness. She curled up next to Sentra, completely isolated in her mind. Everyone believed being royalty was a good thing but they do not know what happens behind these walls, all it is, is fear. 

She laid quietly, hearing the laughter and festivities creep through her open window- sobbing into her companions fur and as time began to pass, seconds turning into minutes and minutes turning into hours, the sun began to fall and the Ritual... was that much closer.

________________________________________________________

Prequel ii : Fear

Timeline: 32 BBY

Summary: Genovera Areius, a young beautiful princess of Astra with ambitions well outside her role as royalty. Spending time out in the forests and on the water, she lived a wild hidden life and although the Coming of Age Ritual commencing in only a few hours- She wondered what would become of her and Astra this night.

Word Count: 2.4k

Warnings: Violence, War, Death, mentions of Blood

Rating: SFW

Notes:

*Kavanta Koortar is a coming of age ceremony once a royal member turns 14. This happens during mid-summer as its the point the planet is closets to the sun and moon (where its believed the Gods live) 

*Perfecti are the ruling King and Queen of Astra and hold special powers given by the gods to protect the planet and it’s people

*Maybe a curse word or two?

________________________________________________________

Evening fell as the continuous sounds of laughter and drunk civilians echoed throughout the city. It was nearly time to begin the Ritual; The Kavanta Koortar for both herself and GenoVeras twin brother, Sol. Despite the circumstance of what happened earlier in the morning, GenoVera found herself patiently waiting in a beautiful temple; chiseled with archs of Astrian Kings and Queens, that had wings spanning to the high ceilings showing the beauty and pride in their people. The room itself was empty, only filled with a stone altar big enough for someone to lay down, and five statues that surround it that appear to be touching the altar with one hand. These statues were the Gods... 

She stood there, toe to stone at the altar. Alone and in the darkness, tracing her finger along the place when they would lay her to sleep to meet the gods. She scoffed, “what gods”... looking up to the effigies of all five of them circling the altar. She walked up to one of the statues that rest just slightly above the mantle and placed her hand gently on the piece of stone that was reaching out to touch where she was supposed to lay— "Are you even real..?", she whispered with a tear down her face before releasing her hand and falling to her knees, "All of you are the reason for my suffering...", she sniffled, wiping the tears drowning her cheeks, "Is it worth it..believing?", she looked up to the inanimate statue that remained in its position, solid and inattentive. Of course, talking to a statue wasn't going to do anything, but the hope that they were listening or even to give her a sign of their existence was just a small piece of what she wanted- and never got. After standing in silence for almost ten minutes, she gently removed her hand- burrowing in her sadness and began to walk away. 'This is all for nothing..', she thought to herself, making her way back to her room.  

-

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! PLEASE MAKE YOUR WAY TO THE CASTLE! OUR PRINCE AND PRINCESS WILL BEGIN THEIR ASCENSION!", Cheers filled the streets as a, mildly annoying, repeated message made its way throughout the castle and capital. The civilians began chanting their royals names while attempting to squish themselves around the castle to witness their bounty. Only the High royals and royal decedents, as well at the five powerful lords of the land and the councilmen were allowed to remain in the room, where the ritual took place. Everyone else stood outside in the courtyard, waiting in anticipation seeing their newly blessed prince and princess. Standing close to the alter stood the King, Queen, Sol, and GenoVera patiently waiting for the exact time Sol is supposed to 'ascend' and the moon was at its peak. Standing behind them were their sibilings, third oldest Cersi, fourth Estel, and the youngest Cronos accompanied by, who most of the kids thought of as their father, General Cassius. 

As the ritual began, and because Sol was born first, they laid the oldest twin down on the altar making him drink a blue liquid that sent him fast asleep. As he lay completely motionless, the statues began to glow. Sending a warm humming throughout everyones ears and for Vera it was comforting, it meant something was actually there. No one really talked about how long you were able to stay in contact with the Gods, but after 30 minutes or so of uncomfortable silence the air began to turn cold. Everyone inside the altar-room began to take notice, looking at each other then to their royals. "Something isn't right...", the Queen gazed towards her husband who was glaring maliciously at the altar. Small sounds of thunder and clouds began to fill the sky. "I know...", the King responded. Another 15 minutes passed and they continued waiting for Sols return, when suddenly the lights on the statues began to disappear one by one. This was something that never happened before and left the people in the room speechless. As each statue lost its glow, they began to crack directly across their faces. "Father...", GenoVera said, "Whats happening to Sol...", she pointed to her brother seeing the traces of his veins beginning to glow red, slowly overtaking his entire body. "Cassius take the Queen and the children. Evacuate them from the cas-", the city began to rumble cutting off the Kings orders. Everyone began to scatter, as small pieces of the castle started falling apart. Panic rose, sending people in all directions as a small rumble turned into a violent quake with the thunder turning into aggressive lightening strikes. A downpour of rain started to flood the city making the civilians retreat from the city. The screams started to grow louder and louder with each second that passed when all of a sudden... blaster fire? 

"LEAVE EVERYONE LEAVE NOW!", The king ordered, "EVACUATE THE CITY, EVACUATE ASTRA!", Cassius gathered the children including GenoVera leaving sol and the perfecti behind but before they could leave the room- darkness overtook it and everything turned black leaving only the statues losing their lights. The royals looked around, Cassius holding the 3 kids close while GenoVera stood behind her mother and father. "Im scared...", She whispered, "We will protect you..", the Queen stated brining her close, "Always...", the King added. A lightening strike hit the edge of the large window pane that was overlooking the temple room, highlighting a figure... There stood a man portraying only the silhouette against the violent storm. Each lightening strike only revealed portions of his face, either way no one could make it out who this man was. All they could sense was danger. Silence filled the room as the King and Queen stood in-front of the children and Cassius.

In a room of complete silence filled only by the strikes of lightening and the sounds of pounding rain, every statue except one had faded. Sol began to struggle, balling his fist, trying to bare the pain of what he was going through, "AHHH...ERGG..... AHHHHHHHHHHH!", you could tell he was in pain but GenoVera was so scared she couldn't move a muscle which only brought her attention back to the man before them. The 3 youngest ones began to cry and honestly she was about to as well. She looked at the intruder standing some ways in front of them -  She squinted trying to pin out the details when the lightening struck before he made a small movement; a metal object that fell out of this robe went directly into his hand, the King immediately drew his weapon made of pure black diamond and gold. The man scoffed and laughed maliciously before pushing the button on his device. A red glow began to erect itself from the top of the metal cylinder, a glow so malicious that filled the remaining light in the room with fear. Robotic figures began to infiltrate the space, the sounds clanking against the ground made their menacing red eyes piercing directly into the royals souls, haunting the moment they were in. It spelled fear and they were experiencing everything that word stands to mean. 

The overwhelming amount of... Robots? Plus this mysterious man made the King and Queen think of only one thing, "Cassius, take the kids and get them out of here now..." The king said before dropping his cape and reading himself in battle position. GenoVeras heart was racing. Not only was she afraid of the dark, she was afraid for their lives as the red that was surrounding them in the temple began to close them in. The intruder took his fist steps towards the royals as the king readied himself. "Cassius...", Queen mother said. She slowly turned her head back to them; the strands of her beautiful white hair falling before opening her eyes. What was once honey brown was now gold and glowing much like the statues, only warmer and alive. She had activated the power of the Perfecti, "Go..." Queen mother said. Cassius who has never seen the perfecti's power to this magnitude, at least enough to change their eyes, stood stunned knowing what this meant. He blinked a couple times bringing himself back to reality, picked up the two little ones and ran. GenoVera grabbed Cersis hand running closely behind Cassius looking back and saw her mother mimic the words "I love you"... before releasing an energy surge to disable the intruders allowing them to have a moment to escape.

-

Blaster fire zipped past their ears and everything fell into slow motion. Fires were building up as the smoke began to overtake the city. It was becoming a challenge to see and even breath. Dead bodies were scattered everywhere with burnt holes carved into some chests and others the head. It smelled of bloodied iron and burning flesh crept through their nostrils making their stomachs uneasy. It nearly made GenoVera puke as she covered her nose and mouth telling her little sister to mimic her... tears ran down GenoVeras face as she saw the ones she cared about lifeless and dead from her instructors to maids, they were all...dead. 'Whats happening to us..', She thought to herself trying to dodge while dragging a child behind her. 'How are we supposed to get out of this? Whats even going on? Who..no what are these...things?!', They continued running as local fire became more intense "GENNA YOU AND CERSI STAY DIRECTLY BEHIND ME! FOLLOW MY MOVEMENTS!" She got behind the general following his exact orders to the letter. As they continued through the battlefield of the castle outside in the courtyard, Cassius expertly dodged each laser and GenoVera copying his same movements, "Just like we practiced Genna!", Cassius smiled because he was seeing GenoVeras training actually paid off. She picked up a gun from one of the fallen robots and began shooting sloppily at foes in their path taking firing cover from cassius. They were the ultimate team and although she doesn't know how to work the gun very well they managed to get through the battlefield and behind enemy lines on the path to emergency platform. 

As they continued running GenoVera dropped the gun with her sister still in hand. Since there were no droids she didn't suspect to need it anymore when all of a sudden, Cassius drops directly in-front of them, making GenoVera and Cersi trip. He drops the children and gripped his stomach coughing blood from his mouth. "CASSIUS!!", GenoVera screamed as she began to panic looking down to the wound in his stomach. Dark red was all over his fingers as each heart beat spilled more each thump his heart took, turning his skin pale. "Go take them...", he struggled to say as she looked over to her baby brother and sister knocked out from the fall with laser fire zooming passed their ears. They walked right into an ambush meant to kill the remaining civilians in the castle, just their luck. Many of their soldiers were attempting to fight off the unidentified force but people began to drop one by one as their window of escape began to close. GenoVera couldn't think straight and began to panic, S\she had no idea what to do or expect for what came next. Being a 14 year old rebellious teenager, nothing could've prepared her for this moment. Her heart continued to race as she tried to devise a plan to get ALL of them out of there and to the emergency shuttle bay. She looked up to analyze the situation before more tears began to fall realized how fucked they were. "GENNA!", Cassius screamed, shaking her out of her panic attack. He reached his hand up to touch her face gently trying to utter small words, "Please...Go...", His breaths became more labored, blood spewing out of his mouth before taking his last breath... and as his hand fell, the life in his eyes disappeared leaving the safety of the young royals in GenoVera hands ... The world became still for a moment and GenoVera held him closely beginning to cry hard, unable to control the strangling emotions. The battle still ensued and the screams of her people began to haunt her soul. She closed Cassius eyes and laid him down before wiping the tears off her face. Her broken heart couldn't break any further thus making this moment the first time she closed her eyes to pray, seeking guidance from the gods- swearing to protect her siblings at all costs for she was the last one standing to protect them. 

She looked up and opened her eyes, peering at the situation finding a perfect escape route through the hidden tunnels of the castle. She grabbed a crying Cronos who, thank the gods, was alive and light enough for her to carry. She turned to Cersi who was holding their lifeless little sister, wide eyed and staring at the blood dripping from Estels chest. For what she thought couldn't break anymore shattered, "Es...", more tears rolled down her face as it was getting harder and harder to breathe. She closed her eyes to look away, trying to stop the panic that was coming. She grabbed Cersis hand dragged her to the tunnels leaving her little sister to rest with her beloved general. 

Despite the struggle finding the entrance of the escape tunnels, once securely inside GenoVera led them straight to the Emergency Shuttle Bay that was loaded with one on one battles between the robots and their people. She looked to her little sister and brother, "Okay guys...", wiping the tears from her cheeks, grabbing them by the shoulders, "time to be strong now... we have to be quiet okay??", She said trying to smile and contain the pain that was erupting from deep inside her. The children nodded in return, Cersi copying her sisters movements trying to be strong and Cronos still trying to figure out whats going on. They snuck their way behind the battle placing them directly behind the shuttle. Unfortunately for them, getting into the shuttle was not going to be easy considering the battles are taking place in-front the shuttle doors, however, that was the ship they needed to escape in. "Listen I have to turn on the shuttle and get the auto pilot ready, s.t.a.y.h.i.d.d.e.n", she strictly exclaimed leaving the kids in between 3 crates completely covered. Genna made her way to the opening on the ship hoping and praying no one was inside. She stood behind a crate peaking at the soldiers being overwhelmed by the robots. While noticing she didn't have enough time, she took the moment and ran into the ship, starting the engines. The droids stopped what they were doing to attack the fleeting vessel drawing attention towards her and the kids. She ran back out and signaling Cersi to bring her and her brother trying to take cover from the ongoing laser fire attacking them and the ship. 

There were only a few soldiers left who were being ignored by the droids in their pursue for the young royals giving them the perfect opening to provide cover for the royals:

Soldier #1: "GO PRINCESS....! GO!"

Soldier #2: "WELL PROVIDE COVER FIRE! GET OUT OF HERE!"

Soldier #3: "I PROMISE PRINCESS....WE WILL FIND YOU! HURRY!

The soldiers expertly blocked the laser fire with their swords protecting the royals while the others took to the scaffolding providing areal cover. A small grin crossed her lips, thanking them internally for the opening they gave her. Genna ran to grab her siblings carrying cronos across her chest protecting his head. Cersi ran in first with Genna close behind but before she made it halfway up the ramp, she sensed a laser creeping up behind her. She cupped the back of Cronos head protecting him from any major damage if he got hit and swiftly moved turning to face towards the battle dodging the laser landing directly on her back. She used her free arm to push herself up a little just to watch the last to soldiers fall to their deaths and the door began to close. Genna laid there relieved that they made it. Holding Cronos tightly to her chest. "Okay Cronos...", She took a deep breath sitting herself up, "...were safe now..", a lifeless body rolled onto the floor, no movements of any kind, not even a breath. "Cro....-", she quickly got on her all fours crawling to her baby brother... shaking him violently while Cersi, who was standing directly next to them tightly grabbing the clothes on her chest as she fell to her knees. 

The emergency autopilot of the ship began to take off the rumbling on the ship indicating their exit from the atmosphere, leaving their planet behind and directly in-front of them laid their lifeless baby brother who wasn't even 3 yet. "Cro...CRONOS!!", She shook him violently and began CPR only to see that the wound went directly through his heart. She brought her hands up, feeling the warmth of his blood trickle down her fingers as she began to piece together what happened. She dropped her hands and her head- there was no pain like this. There was no sadness like this, no hatred... and as the two princess drifted into hyperspace they left behind everything they have ever known and became the last of the Astrain bloodline.

________________________________________________________

Prequel iii : Changing Paths

Timeline: 32 BBY

Summary: Devastation was something that these girls have never experienced- until now. Feeling hopeless and lost GenoVera finds something in herself to make whatever this was- work and now that the whole galaxy knows about the Great Invasion of Astra, the girls are left with a path only they could manipulate to ensure their survival. 

Word Count: 1.2k

Warnings: Trauma, mentions of blood and death

Rating: SFW

Notes:

________________________________________________________

What was it like? Freedom...? Not being chained to the shackles of responsibility? No... Freedoms Pain...

Suffering...

Blood...

WAR

This isn't what she wanted, much less...it wasn't what she asked for. Millions of dead Astrians and being the only survivals of the bloodline to escape, put a huge target on their back. With distinguished looks; white wavy hair and honey gold eyes made it easy for people to target them. They needed to go into hiding. GenoVera... At the tender age of 14, now had a responsibility to care for her little sister and protect her from the darkness that was coming. That thought alone tore her to pieces. Even after the intense training she went through over the years with her father and Cassius, she couldn't possibly keep the any of them safe. Fact of the matter is- both Cersi and Genna were still kids and that thought alone shot through her heart, stirring the upmost amount of uncertainty- making her feel uneasy . She turned on the ships power and glanced over to Cersi sleeping in the copilots chair. 'She must of cried herself to sleep', GenoVera thought bringing her attention back to the ships console. She turned on the auto pilot screen to assess their destination and come up with a plan to conceal themselves. "Alderaan..?", she whispered, remembering the time Bail Organa came to visit with Father. She gave a half smile, knowing that the man they were being sent to was a safe haven and felt comfortable enough with that thought alone to lean back in her chair. She took a glance over at the ETA bar wondering if it really took 3 days to get there. What would she even say? What would he say? What if they don't accept them? Where were they gonna go? "I have to protect her...", she uttered softly and with heavy eyes she glanced over to her sister sleeping soundly, wondering if she was fairing better than herself. Even after all of these thoughts and questions that continue to flutter in her already weakened mind. "why...", she asked trying to seek the answers to her pain.

A single tear fell down her cheeks as she slowly found herself tailing sleep.... back into darkness.

- 

Soldier #1: "GO PRINCESS....! GO!"

Soldier #2: "WELL PROVIDE COVER FIRE! GET OUT OF HERE!"

Soldier #3: "I PROMISE PRINCESS....WE WILL FIND YOU! HURRY!"

GenoVera: "CASSIUS! ESTEL! Cro...CRONOS!"

RUN! RUN! RUN! 

Blaster fire zipped passed her ears and as she continued running the ghosts of her people glowing of gold stood in front of her. She stopped falling just a few feet from them. She looked around  Blood dripping to the floor creating a pool of red. 

GenoVera: "no..."

she shook her head as a line that flowed directly from the pool a blood slowly creeped to her from all directions. 

GenoVera: "no...!"

She continued to shake her head starting to panic, she  took a few steps back and turned around only to see the ghosts of her Mother and Father staring back at her; the same pool of blood itching its way close and closer. 

GenoVera: "No...!!!"

She screamed and there appeared... Cassius, Estel and...Cronos 

GenoVera: "NOOOOOOO...!!!!!!"

She nearly broke her vocal cords screaming at the top of her lungs and covering her ears. She felt to her knees and more images of her people death popped into mind. Tears began to stream down her far creating her own pool of... blood and her body began to shake "Genna!" a soft voice, warm....inviting began to fill her ears. "Genna its me! Wake up!"

"Oh...thats right....", GenoVera said looking up to the ghosts, "Im dreaming..." then proceeded to close her eyes until the warm voice got louder bringing her back to the living. 

GenoVera shot herself up inhaling deeply. Sweat was dripping down her face hearing only her sister repeatedly asking if she was okay and that she was having a nightmare. She looked around disoriented and eyes heavier than the ship itself. She motioned to turn the console on... 

-ETA: 2 hours-

"TWO HOURS?!", Genna exclaimed, "I JUST FELL ASLEEP!!", She quickly got the ship ready to emerge from hyperspace. "Cersi how long-?", her little sister cut her off bringing saddened eyes up to her big sis, "Almost 2 days...", Genna matched her eyes in disbelief and continued to shake her head and apologize for sleeping so long. With a dream like that she never wanted to fall asleep again, however that brought her attention directly to Cersi wondering, "what were you doing while I was asleep?", peering over to the little girl who looked like shes been through a war and then some, "I slept too. I just woke up from a nightmare...", She buried her hands in her knees bringing them up to hug herself as little tears began to formulate in her eyes, "I saw them... All of them- ghosts....of a different kind", she began to weep as Genna came to the conclusion that they had the same dream. She walked over to hug her sister who was now in full tears curled in the copilots seat. This wasn't the Freedom she prayed to the gods for. This was hell. Genna closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. 'This isn't the time to be weak...', She quickly opened her eyes glaring at the universe in disappointment, 'you've failed us'.... Nevertheless- She has a duty now, a new duty. Thus changing the course of their destiny entirely. 

The beeping from the ships navigation systems started to ensue, showing the girls that they are within range of the planet and should drop out of hyperspace. GenoVera placed a hand on Cersi's cheek bringing her face up to meet hers, "Everything will be different now..." Genna looked out the front window of the ship watching them drop out of hyperspace directly in front of the beautiful planet Alderaan. "We get to write our own destiny... and we will get our home back. I promise you.", Cersi looked wide eyed to her oldest sister seeing hope illuminate her presence. She knew with Genna protecting her, everything will be okay. Cersi smiled grabbing the hand that was on her cheek and squeezed it tightly, "Genna... I believe in you." 

-

After Exiting hyperspace, guards who were surprisingly expecting their arrival escorted the two princesses to Aldera, Alderaans Capital City and when the girls broke the news to Organa himself. Even with all the information they divulged he simply replied, " I know...", explaining that an emergency distress message was sent from the Queen herself explaining the situation and what to do thus, the girls journey began. They were fitted for an identification change which included appearance and during that time Organa made a plea to the galactic council to seek asylum on Coruscant but was further denied because of the sensitive information that was brought to them in terms of the man that started this. There was darkness rising and having a target on their back could bring harm to very important people on the home planet of the Republic. Instead of shying away like most of the Republic did, Organa set a plan into motion by having them receive an education in Naboo and to further rumor the galaxy to believe that they are dead. 

Until they weren't.

Next

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: Nirvana in Fire - A Primer

(Masterpost)

Warning: Mild spoilers for the first 5 or 6 episodes

I have injected all 54 episodes of Nirvana in Fire (The TOS/first series, not the TNG/second series) directly into my neck vein in the past week, having initially bounced off the first episode the three previous times I tried to watch it. I thought a primer might be useful for people who are undecided about watching it, or who are finding the first episode as confusing as I initially did.

This will be followed by Episode recap posts, although not (I hope) at the pace or word count of my Untamed recaps (which are ongoing!). (Edit: see masterpost for more)

I watched it on Viki but I think it’s on Youtube as well.

What is Nirvana in Fire and Why Should I Watch It?

Nirvana in Fire (aka Langya Bang) is about this guy, Mei Changsu. 

He goes by various names in the drama but we're just going to call him Mei Changsu for simplicity. He's looking for justice and he's very very clever. He's also sickly and obviously dying possibly doesn't have very long to live.  

He's secretly a member of the royal family, and all of his old friends think he's dead. He had a medical trauma that turned him into a different actor, so most of his friends can't recognize him. In order to get justice, he needs to shake some things up in the capital, so he goes there and starts manipulating people.

The Pugilist World

He's also, conveniently, the head of a Wuxia ("pugilist" in most subs) society that's like the CIA of the Warring States Period. This gives him a good supply of friendly minions.

His main people from the Pugilist side of things are: 

Sarcastic Kung Fu doctor. He's important in the first episode and then we don't see him for like 40 episodes and then he's important again.

Sullen/adorable Kung Fu adolescent, who is nearly unbeatable and is played by the kid from Tomb of the Sea & Fights Break Sphere. He is with Mei Changsu throughout the story as his bodyguard and reminder that MCS has a soft heart sidekick.

(more after the cut!)

The Court

Over on the court side of things, there's an emperor, who is a paranoid jerk, but also has some layers to his personality. He’s not a cartoonish villain.

Happily, the show doesn’t lean too hard into the whole “I dare not!” thing where nobody can talk normally to anybody in the court because they’re afraid of being executed. 

Chinese emperors got to choose the next emperor from among their offspring, rather than being constrained by primogeniture like European monarchies, so sibling rivalry basically reached its apotheosis in Chinese Imperial families. Among this emperor’s progeny are four princes who actually matter. 

1. Prince Qi was executed as a traitor, but wasn't a traitor, and Mei Changsu wants to clear his name, along with the names of all of his supposed followers who were also executed. 

2. The Crown Prince, who is in favor. He is dumb. He looks like this: 

3. The not-crown Prince, who is in favor and wants to become crown prince. He is smarter than the Crown Prince but not as smart as Mei Changsu. Nobody is as smart as Mei Changsu. He looks like this: 

4. Prince Jing also wants to clear Prince Qi's name and insists he was innocent, so he is out of favor.  Prince Jing is a fine upstanding moral heroic dude, who has a temper and can’t keep his mouth shut.   

Prince Jing looks like this.

So, we're rooting for prince Jing, obviously.

Mei Changsu is also rooting for Prince Jing because 

They were best friends back when Mei Changsu was a young, different-actor guy without a medical trauma 

He'll be a good ruler 

He, like Mei Changsu, wants to clear up this whole traitor situation 

He looks like this: 

The Friendships

In the current time, Prince Jing doesn't know who Mei Changsu is so he doesn't fully trust him, and talks smack about his values. At the same time he just *feels* an affinity for him and they look at each other like this.

Do they lock eyes like that for the entirety of every conversation? Yep, pretty much.  

Also Mei Changsu's old girlfriend is in the picture, and she's fucking awesome, which makes the shipping situation complicated when the Changsu x Prince Jing energy is so strong. 

This is how she gets onto a horse:

Here Mei Changsu is pretending that he is a dude she just met, rather than her long-lost fiance (who, reminder, had a medical trauma resulting in a totally different actor changed appearance). 

Gazing heatedly and with maximum intensity at a person is a good way to pretend you don’t know them. 

I think she’s fooled, don’t you?

She conveniently disappears for like 25 episodes in the middle of the show, which uncomplicates the shipping situation a bit, for a while, anyway.

She has a best friend who's the Wuxia version of a tough lady cop, speaking of shipping.

There are a pair of young friends who share one brain cell and hang out with Mei Changsu, and who develop in interesting ways as the story progresses.

Then there's the guard captain who is an old friend who DOES know who Mei Changsu is, who's super hot and...not the sharpest nail in the horseshoe.

Captain Handsome is the only guy who can beat the Kung Fu kid. 

The Plot

Mei Changsu wants to clear the names and restore the honor of a whole lot of dead people--an entire army full of them--and the best way to do that is to put his friend in a position of power. 

He assembles a bat-team and then starts playing an extremely complex game of political Weiqi, driving opponents into impossible situations and taking them off the board one by one, while they work to do the same thing to his forces. 

The emotional connection between Mei Changsu and Prince Jing is hugely important to the story, but they don't spend most of their time together - they're working in different spheres toward a single goal, touching base often but not sharing many lighthearted moments or spending a lot of time socializing.  

So if you're craving a best-friends adventure story or a (covert) BL romance story, this isn't it. But the emotional journeys of the two main dudes are incredibly deep, and each of those journeys gets ample screen time.  

The M/F romance is also deeply important to the characters’ journeys but it’s not primarily about being together; it’s about working together toward a higher purpose. 

Is this a normal way to react when a woman you don’t really know brings you to visit the empty house of a condemned criminal you never met? Sure. Is it normal of her to randomly bring you to your own abandoned house when she just met you? Probably! 

Is it reasonable for a man to look this good in blue fur? No!

Fundamentally this is a plot-driven story, with really no filler -- story threads that seem unrelated all weave back into the main story, and stories about side characters tell us important information about the main characters. 

It’s a truly beautiful story about seeking justice and bringing peace to the souls of the dead--it’s not a revenge story, and Mei Changsu has a surprising amount of compassion for the people he opposes, even while he’s manipulating them into ruining their lives. 

It's. Freaking. Awesome.

[amindofstone]

A pirates treasure

a/n: I am in love with a broken character. I am in love with a man that has “death” tattooed on his fingers. I am in love with a freaking 2D character that has the name “Surgeon of death”. Call me crazy but hey, the owner of a heart was never able to choose in who it falls in love. Yeah, to put it short I am in love with a character that barely has any romantic, lovely or sweet traits but still gets me screaming at 2 am whenever he appears. I am in love with Trafalgar D. Water Law.

a/n edited: My attention was drawn to a huge mistake of mine. I really don't want to justify my mistake and just delete it as if nothing happened. So therefore I'll do a quick explanation.

As you can see I used the picture above as a "cover" for my imagine without making any researches about the artist of the amazing work. I got the picture send by a friend with the request if I could use it and so I did without thinking twice. I should have done my job properly by finding the artist and asking for permission but I didn't and simply neglected that. And I'm truly and really sorry for that and genuinely apologise from the bottom of my heart. I hope I'll be forgiven. The picture used was that of the artist @666deaddash999 that has a blog here on tumblr and definitely should be seen. And again my apologies. 

a/n edited pt. 3.: I am in f***ing tears. I don´t deserve this much kindness. This artist, the dear @666deaddash999​ , is truely an angel. I really am garteful for being allowed to use it. Like damn they even liked my fic!!! I am in tears and emotional AF!! Anyways have a nice day and thank you for reading my work!

Genre: anime imagine? One Piece imagine?

Character(s): Trafalgar D. Water Law x Rose (reader)

Warnings: Maybe grammar or spelling mistakes. (I genuinely apologize. English is not my mother tongue and I´m really trying to improve. So please be so kind and have mercy)

Words: 4257

Info: Keep in mind that the words in italic are Rose (reader) train of thoughts.

!!! Please do not steal my idea or work. Credit me if this is shared or published in any other platform or any other way. This took me a lot of time. So please respect me as the writer and my work. Picture used is not mine. Credits to the rightful owner. !!!

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"Are you insane?! Can you hear what you're saying right now?! No! Do you know what you're saying right now?!", asked the now furious woman. "She lost her mind Marcus. Your daughter lost her brain on the way back home!!", the woman with the probably most expensive tiara on her head was running around the salon while making sure her husband understood her point in their daughters failure. "For the sake of sanity Marcus say something!!! Won't you?!", the woman yelled at her husband who was sitting on his chair in front of the chimney. “I regret the day I gave birth to you? I regret those nine months I carried you. I did not give birth to you so you can end up like this! This is not what we taught you!”. The king was clearly overwhelmed by the whole situation that had to happen two weeks before the king and his spouse from the neighboring island would come. Right at the moment in which he and his wife decided to make their daughter marry their son. The king who usually was always in a good mood and had a smile on his lips was now the total opposite. He was sad and felt lost. He didn't know how to cope with the situation his wife; or rather life confronted him with.

With a hand covering half of his face and closed eyes he focused on his breathing and just let his spouse calm down first before he spoke what was on his mind. He kept telling himself to breathe in and breath out when the queen’s next words made him stand up and leave the room.

"You traitor! How dare you sit there like you're the victim, you disgrace! You disgusting piece of shit! Where did you leave you honor and pride?! In the bed of that scum?!", the words of the mad woman made the young royal look up for the first time she entered the salon. The princess, the third daughter of one of the most powerful kingdoms, was in tears. A hand covering her mouth with the hope to keep her screams of pain inside she just let the tears stream down her face. “Look what you did you cheap piece of shit. I am disappointed in you. No wonder I never was fond of you and your existence. You are absolutely not capable of anything in this world. And Marcus calls something like you his beloved daughter. Get out and get back to your chambers. I don´t want to see you out of your quarter before the royal family whose son you´ll be marrying will come. You heard me! And I dare you to start another tantrum about the marriage or else I make you regret existing.”, Rose nodded and left the salon without a word.

On her way back to her quarter her brother, the crown prince, saw her and wanted to stop her and ask what their mother said, but she didn´t let him touch her or talk to her. He wanted to hold her and comfort her since he knew how their mother can hurt one with her words but she didn´t let him come closer. She silently left him behind and ran to her save place so she could cry out loud with the hope of getting rid of the pain in her chest. She cried and cried until her maid came with her dinner. The maid tried her best to make the young princess stop crying and eat something but she couldn´t make it. When the food she brought her got cold she tried to at least make her calm down but to no avail. Before the sad maid left the princess alone she took the food she brought her and asked her with pleading eyes if she could do anything for her. The maid thought that she won´t answer her while still shedding tears when the princess who was sitting on her bed looked her in the eye for the first time since she entered her chambers. The maid gave her a genuine and friendly smile while telling her that she´ll do anything for her. But the words of the princess made her stop smiling while the little spark of hope died down. “Kill me and put this miserable life of mine to an end.”, the maid did not know what to say so she left her chambers with a soft apology and a deep bow.

Silence.

Suffocating silence took over her chambers after a while when no sound of her could be heard anymore. Her throat was sore from the hurt screams that left her. Screams she tried to suppress with a pillow or her hand. Screams she held in for weeks. If her throat wouldn´t be hurting by now and if she had just a bit more energy she would be screaming more. She would be screaming from the top of her lungs while trying to get rid of the pain in her chest that seems to be clinching onto her for dear life. Her heart was aching. Her soul was helplessly trying to understand what was happening right now while her brain stopped functioning. She was lifeless. She looked like a corpse sitting on a bed. She didn´t move an inch or dared to breathe aloud. When someone would have entered her chambers they would have thought a doll was sitting on the massive bed and not the princess. The princess the whole kingdom loved for her genuine smile and friendliness. A princess that was loved by ever person that saw her because of the kindness she holds in her heart and eyes.

The princess. A young lady whose beauty was known all over the world. Whose kindness anyone knew and mentioned. A young royal with a genuine heart, a heart as pure as that of an angel. A young royal in the age of 19 that was able to make any person walk over broken glass if they could make her smile. But what happened to her? A young lady who used to walk around the kingdom with a smile upon her lips and a childlike playfulness. What happened to the girl that used to be the happiness of any person in the palest and the kingdom?

Rose, never thought that the day would come she needed to be told how beautiful life can be. She never thought that the day would come where her siblings and maids would have to come and tell her that life is full of love and happiness 

Isn´t it funny how fast a person can change? How fast the happiness of a person can be taken away from them. Isn´t it funny how something that is supposed to be good can break a person and ruin their whole life? How can something that she was always told about as the most beautiful and powerful thing on earth break her and be the cause of her pain. Why does it carry so much pain and tears when it´s supposed to be the reason a human lives? This doesn´t seem logical to her. It seems like all the things she was told were lies. Lies and lies told one after another. Why did they lie to me?

Rose was freezing. The dress she was wearing at the moment was obviously not able to keep her warm anymore. She needed to change. She needed to take a bath. But she had neither energy nor motivation to do anything so she kept sitting there while looking out of her huge window. Her window was wide open and let the fresh but cold wind of the spring night enter her save place. Her curtains were waving more and more due to the slowly stronger getting wind. Just when she thought that she calmed down a bit, she suddenly started to remember the words of her mother. Words that were sharper than any knife or sword. Words that cut her heart into pieces. Disgrace, she said. Disappointment, she said. She regrets giving me live, she said. And again tears fell down her cheeks. Tears filled by pure hate towards herself. She hated herself. She hated her body and wanted to die. The couple that used to shower her with love now hated her. Slowly more tears started to stream down her face while she tried to muffle down her soft sobs by putting a hand over her mouth. The cold wind that entered her chambers through her open window and door to her terrace stopped by now only to be replaced by rain. It seems like the sky was the only one that understood her pain and cried with her out of empathy. Day, weeks and now months passed and a forbidden longing accompanied her through her lonely days filled with regret. I wish I never went to the harbor with my maid. I wish I could erase that day from my life and memories.

When she thought that the pain she felt couldn´t get worse a person called her name with so much love it hurt her. She was confused and scared at the same time. With panic written all over her face she looked around her chambers only to be greeted by a tall man who entered her bedroom through her terrace. Slow steps were made as if he knew that she´d be overwhelmed by his sudden presence. She couldn´t see his face but knew that he was looking straight into her eyes. Just when he was about to enter her bedroom he stopped at the door of her terrace and allowed her to hear his voice. A voice that was able to get her weak and lose balance and fall on her knees. But luckily she was now sitting on her bed in the same position since a few hours now. “May I enter?”

A soft whine erupted her sore throat, while her heart started to race. As if she ran from one side of the island to the other. She couldn´t believe her eyes. She wanted to scream his name and jump in his arms. She wanted to kiss his face, hands and shower him with all the love she felt for him but she didn´t move but gave him a small nod that allowed him to enter. Am I imagining this?

His hat he seemed to love so much and that turned into his signature got recognized by the heartbroken princess next to his sword that accompanied him through every fight and battle. But his clothes changed into something she thought he would never wear. It changed into something elegant but at the same time simple. A black long cloak was loosely hanging over his shoulder that was decorated at its collar with a thick pitch black fur. Under the cloak she could make out a white wide loose shirt that gave away a beautiful sight of his toned and tattooed chest. He looked like a sculpture that was awakened to life. She couldn´t believe what she was seeing. She was staring at his face, his hands, his slightly wetted clothes with the hope that her eyes were playing a stupid game with her heart. She couldn´t look away while all this time he was slowly coming closer to her and the bed she was sitting on. Just when she realized who was standing in her chambers she quickly tried her best to pull herself together and speak in a half decent steady voice but sadly to no avail. “Don´t come closer and get back to the place you came from.”

She tried. She tried her best to talk in a convincing and steady voice but she failed, miserably. Her trembling voice and body betrayed her. Her hands that were holding tight onto her sheets betrayed her. Her knuckles that turned white from the pressure she put on them betrayed her. But most of all it were her eyes and tears that betrayed her. Her whole body screamed to be touched by him. Her hands longed for his warmth. Her heart screamed to be consoled and her eyes gave away all of the love she had for him. She shouldn´t be able to cry anymore thinking about the whole day she only cried but unlike a few minutes ago she was now shedding tears of pure joy. “Are you sure that you want me to leave?”, the man in front of her asked her to not only convince himself that this is what she wanted but also to give her the chance to rethink her choice, but the black haired woman nodded what she instantly regretted.

Regret. What a simple word to use when it hold so much emotions and thoughts.

The moment she saw him make a step back and put a distance between him and her, a quiet pleading to not leave her left her lips that made him instantly drop his sword. The sudden sound of his falling weapon surprised her and made her look down to the place it fell. She wanted to ask if he was doing fine when the next move of the man that ruined her life shook her to death. Everything happened in the blink of an eye. He took of his hat and threw it somewhere she couldn´t make out only to get on her bed and connect their lips. She didn´t wanted him to kiss her. She didn´t wanted him this close but still grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer. Rose´s hands were trembling while her tears still didn´t stop falling. It felt like a dream, a dream come true when she remembered her mother’s words and pushed him away from her.

Trafalgar D. Water Law.

What or who gave you the permission to enter my live and turn it upside down. The tears that were falling down her cheeks were that of pure happiness to have him in front of her but slowly with her mother´s words coming back to her mind they slowly turned into tears of pain and fear. Law wanted more. He wanted to kiss her more and hold her. He wanted her all to himself. He took her hands, that were still holding onto his shirt, in his and kissed each and every finger of her one by one. “She´ll kill you.”, she said with a quivering voice with the hope to make him understand in what kind of situation they were but he didn´t care at all. “She said she´ll execute you in front our nation.”, but still the pirate didn´t care. In fact he intertwined their hands and started to kiss her all over her face. “She called you so many names and said that she´ll kill any person you are close to right after she killed you. Law are you listening.”, she kept telling him what her mother the queen said but her lover didn´t seem to care. But to make clear that he indeed was listening to her he nodded and hummed in her ear before he made his way to her neck. But before he could place his lips on her skin again she said something what made him stop in his tracks. “I´m getting engaged in two weeks and married next month.”, just when she thought that he´ll get made and push her away she heard a soft chuckle before he laid her down and get back to kissing her while making sure to leave marks here and there. She felt pathetic. She felt horrible. She felt like agreeing to her mother’s words that she is not worth being a royal or a princess. “Law, don´t you understand in what situation I am right now? I feel like I´m a joke to y….”.

“Am I a joke to you? Are my feelings a joke to you?”, Law stopped her midsentence just to leave her with a question that made her rethink all the thoughts she had in the last weeks. But she had no time to think because the man on top of her stood up and left her bed. Panic overcame her and she started to breath quickly. “Please don´t leave me. I beg you Law. I don´t know what to do without you. Please!”

If the princess could see the man’s face at this moment she would have seen his genuine smile of pure happiness and relief. “Who said I wanted to leave you?”, said the tall man and made his way towards her door just to lock it. No matter where he went Rose followed all of his steps around her chambers. He closed the window and the door to her terrace while also making sure to close the curtains. If her maid did not came to light the candelas on her nightstand it would have been pitch black and she wouldn´t be able to see what the pirate who sneaked into the palace would do right now. He took of his shoes and placed them neatly next to the armchair in front of her chimney. Slow and carefully he took of his slightly wet cloak and put it over the backrest to dry. While she wondered if he wasn´t cold with what he was wearing she realized a bit too late that he took his shirt off and went to light up some other candelas in her room while giving her a full display of his tattoos. How on earth could someone as beautiful as him fall for me? What happened that made him love me to an extend he came all the way to the palace to me? Do I deserve this much love? Rose was looking down to her hands that lay on her lap when she felt the bed shift. She didn´t dare to look him in the eyes. She felt cheap and used. How can I marry a man that I don´t love? How can I get married while fully knowing that I gave away the most precious thing I had to a pirate that told me he loved me? I am being the naive and stupid woman my mother called me. “Do you regret losing you virginity to me?”, the sudden question of the criminal she fell in love with surprised her and made her look up to him with widen eyes. “Do you regret letting me be your first kiss? Do you regret letting me lay in your arms?”, Law took her hands back in his to intertwine them again. An act he does without realizing it by now. He was used to place her hand in is. He wanted it and needed it. He wanted to feel her and her warmth. He needed a reassurance that she really was sitting in front of him. He needed something that made clear to him that he wasn´t dreaming and really was beside her and not in his or the strawhats ship sleeping.

“Do you want to marry him? Are you fine with your parents marring you off to someone you don´t love neither know?”, the princess was overwhelmed not only by his question but also by his eyes which were filled by sadness. His grey eyes that usually had something playful and fierce in it. His eyes that used to always soften whenever the landed on her who was his lover, his woman, his absolute everything. The princess placed her hands on his face and caressed his cheeks. If only she knew what that little gesture did to him. If only she knew how much control she had over him. If only. “Trafalgar Law. I gave you everything I had. I let you be my first love and my first lover. I let you be my first kiss and my first time not for you to ask me if I regretted it. Law I love you. Although my miserable live won´t allow me to be with you I can assure you that I would throw everything away only to be with you.”, Laws eyes were closed. He couldn’t think properly anymore. His heart was racing. His mind was an absolute mess. He wanted her close to him. He wanted to feel her. He needed her so he sat her down on his lap and leaned back. With his head resting on the headboard of her bed and the royal lady on top of him he tried to calm his heart down and make it stop racing. “If I wouldn´t be a doctor I would have thought I was about to die whenever I had you near me.”, the young princess looked at him with concern in her eyes. “At that time I couldn´t understand why my heart was racing or why I felt like I was getting crushed. There was always this feeling of something or someone putting a huge amount of pressure on my chest whenever I thought about you. And whenever I had you close to me I felt like I was drowning and losing all my powers. But now I know that it´s alright to feel like this because this is how it´s supposed to be. Because today I know that it´s because I love you.”, Law was not someone that spoke out loud about his feelings. He wasn´t the type of person who shared his thoughts but when he did he was able to blow any person away. The words of her lover made her heart race while guilt over came her. “Stop. Please stop.”, begged Rose while hiding her face in the crock of his neck. She knew that she was hurting him by telling him to stop. She knew that she wasn´t supposed to react like this but what could she do, she was promised to a prince of a neighbor island. She shouldn´t be kissing him or hugging him. She shouldn´t be laying in his arms while he told her how much she meant to him. She should be sending him away like a worthy daughter and princess should do.

“Do you want me to leave. If so than just tell me and I will leave you alone tonight. I really don´t have a problem with that. I can´t bear seeing you sad, my love. I will come tomorrow. Would you like that?”, hearing his words made her look up and see his face to make sure he wasn´t playing with her but no, he was serious. He was smiling down to her while caressing her cheek. The look he gave her broke her heart. She knew he loved her. No matter how many times she told herself that she meant nothing to him her heart told her different. “This is not how it works, Law! You are such a fool. You idiot! I just told you that I´m promised to a prince and here you are telling me that you will come tomorrow if I don´t feel well. What is wrong with you?”, tears were falling down her cheeks. Thinking about the amount of tears she just shed today makes one wonder how she is still possible to cry more. Rose hit him a few times on his chest before she left his lap and sat down next to him. She couldn´t bear being this close to him so she tried putting some distance between him and her when Law laid her down and hovered above her.

“Tell me what is wrong with you? Do you really think I let your parents take you away from me? Do you really think I let some random bastard marry my woman? I am a pirate Rose. If I want something I get it and when I have it I won´t give it back. Do you understand?”, Law spoke in a soft tone but one full of power and determination. Rose didn´t know what to say so she simply kept quiet and kept listening to him. “You are mine. My treasure. My property, You are mine all alone and I don´t share what is mine. And if anyone is so foolish to try to take what is mine I won´t hesitate to cut off their heart.”, the dreaded pirate spoke in his calm but deep voice and made the woman underneath him stare at him without daring to move an inch. “Now tell me do you really thing I let you get married to anyone that is not me?”, Rose was numb. She was awestruck and speechless so Law took the matter in his own hands and took her face in his hands and shook her head in a playful manner. He knew that his words took her by surprise what could he do? It was her guilt that he was head over heel in love with her. “No, my darling. I won´t let go of you. Just wait a few more days and wait for me. I have a little plan to get you out of her.”, the last words the pirate spoke made her widen her eyes. Law indeed loved the effect he had on her. The princess wanted to say something but the pirate didn´t allow her to speak up. He placed a short kiss on her lips before he slowly started to unbutten her dress. “Law?!”

“You can´t imagine how much I missed you. Please allow me to show you how much you mean to me, my dear. Hold me and show me that your presence is not a dream. Please allow me to love you.”

[tomorrowsdrama]

2020: A Year in Thirst

In 1985, Gabriel Garcia Marquez gave the world Love in the Time of Cholera.  In 2020 (er, I guess it’s now 2021), I give to you, Thirst in the Time of Covid-19 or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Embrace the Thirst, a brief recap of all the dramas I watched in 2020 and whether such dramas made yours truly parched..  

The list contains dramas that premiered in 2020, but also dramas from previous years.  If I watched it or attempted to watch it in 2020, it’s on the list.  

EDIT: Ok, I’m going to have to do this in multiple parts because apparently I watched more dramas in 2020 than I remembered and talking about them all in one post would just be too long.

This also serves as a sort of greeting to all the people who recently followed me.  I don’t know how or why, but thank you for being interested in my thirst, and also so sorry for everything you have/will witness here!  I started this side blog last December 2019 as a place to dump all my fangirl feels and thirst with unbridled abandon and let’s just say, the thirst REALLY ramped up in 2020 during quarantine and all the political chaos/uncertainty.  The state of the world may be uncertain, but my thirst will always be a comforting constant!  LOL. If you want to thirst or fangirl/boy together, I’m all ears.

Anyway, let’s start with the drama that was partially the inspiration for this list. 

1. The Wolf

Brief Summary: Sweet hot boy raised in the wilderness/by wolves meets sweet beautiful girl and they fall in love.  Shitty evil people do shitty evil things to them to cause a misunderstanding and they are separated for years.  Sweet hot boy is given the “Sexy Bloody Tormented Killer Makeover” TM and turns into a VERY VERY BAD HOT Wolf Man after being tortured/brainwashed by an evil asshole king who “adopted” him.  Bad Hot Wolf Man reunites with sweet beautiful girl but because of third party machinations in the past, he thinks that she betrayed him so he is suuuuuuch an ass to her (while still maintaining hotness).  But even beneath the asshattery (and sexy jerky smirks), he can’t help his love for her and it’s just *chefs kiss*. The angst, the pining, the mutual sacrifice for each other, the torment of wanting to be together but not being able to be together because of external forces/circustances, oh I am getting in a tizzy just thinking about it.  I won’t reveal anymore so as not to spoil the drama, but just know the ending may destroy you.

Is she thirsty? Am I thirsty? AM I THIRSTY?  Oh honey, if you don’t know the answer to that, then you must either be new here or you haven’t been paying attention to any of my posts in the past few weeks.  Look, from the first moment the camera panned to Darren Wang’s very well-defined and tan chest and windswept hair, all semblance of shame and dignity I ever tried to feign on this tumblr was immediately thrown out the window.  The feelings that he inspired within me were purely primal.  My cavewoman ancestor from millennia ago stopped gathering food in the harsh wilderness for a brief second to transmigrate into my body and go “me want big strong man!”

I mean, below is literally our introduction to Wolf Boy.  Am I supposed to just witness this and not feel anything?  The director knew what he/she was doing.  Anybody who worked on the drama who says they didn’t intend to exploit Darren Wang’s assets is a BOLD FACED LIAR. And this isn’t even Wolf boy in his hottest form.

That would be this:

Damn, your girl needs a moment here.  When Wolf Boy turns into Bad Hot Wolf Man, wheeeeewww.  The things that came out of my mouth and the thoughts that popped up into my head.

Examples of shameless fangirl drooling can be found here: https://tomorrowsdrama.tumblr.com/post/636986055498792960/dangermousie-this-should-be-illegal-i-mean Here: https://tomorrowsdrama.tumblr.com/post/637238885944033280/dangermousie-i-am-fucking-dead-the-end-this Here: https://tomorrowsdrama.tumblr.com/post/637793196830769152/dangermousie-wolfie-acquired-a-kid-omg Here: https://tomorrowsdrama.tumblr.com/post/635272988321775616/dangermousie-i-dont-know-about-you-guys-but and here: https://tomorrowsdrama.tumblr.com/post/637621638524977152/dangermousie-hnnnnnnnngh-i-am-beginning-to-forget

Honestly, just check out The Wolf tag on @dangermousie​ tumblr and you won’t be disappointed.  Prepare to become obsessed, horny, and heartbroken.

Would I watch it minus the thirst traps? Have you ever thirsted so much that you couldn’t separate what reaction was hormonal and what was objective?  Like the guy is so hot to you that when your friends ask you what do you like about him, the first 10 things you can think of are “he’s hot!” and then you try to remind yourself that you’re not a shallow person who actually cares about things other than looks but at the same time you can’t for the life of you think of a non-hot based trait that you like about the guy  Yeah, that’s what happened here so sorry, I can’t give you an objective opinion.  It’s not that there’s nothing objectively good about The Wolf, it’s just that my judgment is too clouded by Darren Wang’s abs and big hands.  But from what I can tell by other people’s posts, even if you didn’t thirst for Darren Wang (Are you made of stone?  But also, can you please teach me your magic so I can go back to being a semi-functional working woman?), The Wolf is still a very enjoyable drama with its own non-Darren Wang related merits.

2. My Beautiful Bride

Brief Summary: A drama about a strait-laced banker who wears a dorky backpack and rides a bicycle everywhere while wearing the dorkiest looking helmet ever and his beautiful bride-to-be whom he is hopelessly devoted to.  This being a kdrama, and an OCN drama at that, things aren’t all what they appear to be.  Yes, you read that right, an OCN. ROMANCE. DRAMA.  Turns out the beautiful bride-to-be has a dangerous past that soon comes back to haunt her and she mysteriously disappears one day from strait-laced banker’s life in the typical kdrama way to protect him.  Part of the reason she leaves him is also because she doesn’t want him to know about her past because she doesn’t think she’s good enough for him.  Little does she know, he knows everything about her past and accepts it all.  The only reason why he doesn’t bring it up is because he knows she doesn’t want him to know about that part of herself and he loves her so much he’s willing to do anything to make her happy.  But also, another thing she doesn’t know is that underneath that boring but perfectly ironed suit, is a finely chiseled, super efficient fighting machine who did his mandatory military service in the special forces.  He is like the terminator meets Liam Neeson’s character in Taken.  He has a very particular set of skills and will stop at nothing to get his bride back.

Is she thirsty?  Please just watch this video and you will have your answer: https://youtu.be/Ut9MhxWadHM

Prior to The Wolf, My Beautiful Bride was probably the most thirst-inducing drama I watched in 2020.

I mean, just look

at this

at all of this

I don’t’ know how Joo Young saw that body and never questioned whether he really was just a banker.  The writers of the drama must be super heterosexual men who are blind because so many of the characters in the drama question why someone as beautiful as Joo Young would ever want to be with someone like the banker. Um..Um...aside from the fact that he is financially well off, treats her well, is loving and respectful of her, and prioritizes her over everything else, JUST LOOK AT HIM.  I was so thirsty for Kim Mu Yeol in this role that I would accidentally tag this drama as My Beautiful Banker sometimes.  The banker was on a relentless one-man mission to take back his bride and turn me on in the process and ooooooh boy was he successful on both fronts.  He is seriously sex on legs every time he beats up a baddie in his quest to find answers about Joo Young’s whereabouts.

Would I watch it minus the thirst traps?  I binged the first six episodes of this drama in one afternoon partly because of my thirst, but also partly because it’s a very well made crime-action-gangster drama.  This is an OCN drama so you can expect a competently made production with well choreographed/bloody action scenes and a solid script.

3. Scarlet Heart Ryeo / Moon Lovers

Brief Summary: IU plays Hae Soo, a modern woman who is somehow transported back in time to the Goryeo period.  There, she gets entangled with a group of royal princes.  Her two main love interests are Wang So (played by Lee Jun Ki) and Wang Wook (played by Kang Ha Neul).  The princes vie for the throne and some of them for Hae Soo’s affection.  Lee Jun Ki does what he does best, which is play a sexy tortured deadly man who looks way too good with blood splattered on his face.  Kang Ha Neul is the seemingly kind prince/daddy long legs character who turns out to be not so kind or daddy long leggy.  Hae Soo is...well IU did the best she could with what she was given (which was a hot inconsistent mess).

Is she thirsty? Scarlet Heart Ryeo is like the honeypot of thirst traps.  It’s essentially a reverse harem set up with a prince for everyone.

Like them young and cute?  Then try the 10th prince, Wang Eun.

Want them big, tall, and kinda dumb?  Here’s the 14th prince Wang Jung for ya.

Want an evil bastard with an affinity for guyliner?  Try out 3rd prince Wang Yo.

Tall, slender, and scholarly? 13th prince Baek-ah will fill your needs.

Is a kind/gentle man who will ultimately disappoint you because he doesn’t show up when you need him most more your speed?  Well, let me introduce you to 8th prince, Wang Wook.

Kinda scary but oh so hot and with a ton of baggage?  We’re talking, I overpacked and brought 10 overstuffed large suitcases levels of baggage. 4th prince Wang So is the guy for you.

And if you prefer someone with no personality, presence, or memorable traits, I got a two-for-one deal for you in the crown prince Wang Mu and 9th prince Wang Won.

Would I watch it minus the thirst traps?  There is political intrigue, scheming, romance, fluffy hijinks (my least favorite parts of the drama), angst, beautiful costumes, and pretty decent fight scenes.  Scarlet Heart Ryeo is a pretty solid fusion/fantasy sageuk mostly thanks to Lee Jun Ki.  The only person who has ever carried a larger load on his back is Atlas.  I’m not saying all the other actors are horrendous. It’s just very clear that the one elevating the material beyond the inconsistencies/messiness/elementary politics of the script is Lee Jun Ki.  Your enjoyment level of the drama will likely increase if you are a fan of any of the main actors.  

[captainsaku]

Nate Sewell - early years till turning

Okay, so I had this idea for a short fic spanning several years of Nate’s life, but that required that I go research the British Royal Navy, ranks and progression, and I ended up falling into a very, very deep rabbit hole. I spent about two hours yesterday just reading up and figuring out how things would have gone for him, and I think at this point I have a more or less solid idea of what Nate’s career would have been like.

I was just chatting with @mepheesto and she shared this post by @queerbrujas with me, and we both more or less came to the same conclusions, in a way that makes it so that Silvia’s ideas mesh perfectly well with mine, and one could very well be a continuation of the other, which is awesome. Go read Silvia’s post, it’s enlightening and she also includes some bits from canon that Mishka shared and which shed some light on the whole thing.

I’m going to talk specifically about Nate here, because it’s the Royal Navy bit that interests me and that I researched. Rest under the cut! It could get long.

Edit: DISCLAIMER: I haven’t read the Book 3 demo cause I want to go in blind, so I have no idea if there’s anything in there that might change what I say here ahahaha. Anyway here we go.

SO. Let’s assume that Silvia is right and Nate is, in fact, half Indian. It’s not really a far-fetched idea, especially considering the general political climate at the time and Nate’s personal details that Mishka has shared now and then in asks. By our estimations, knowing that Nate is about ~330 years old, he should have been born close to 1691, and lived more or less in the early 1700s. This is important for one main reason: the East India Company. 

By the 1700s, the East India Company was already in full swing and trading in the East Indies. While the rule of the Company in India effectively began in  1757, the Company itself was founded back in 1600, and established trade routes with the East Indies to bring back basic commodities like cotton, silk, salt, spices, tea, and opium.

It wouldn’t, therefore, be a far-fetched idea to assume that Nate’s father was involved with the East India Company, and thus found himself traveling to India more or less often, where he might have married an Indian woman and conceived Nate. Going from Silvia’s findings, Nate was then raised British in India, which means that he would have also been in an environment suited to learn Hindi growing up.

The idea that Nate wanted for nothing growing up also suggests that his family was wealthy, which would put him in a position of privilege amongst the gentry, even if not titled. And if his family was wealthy, then it would make sense to conclude that his father worked with the East India Company and probably held stakes in it and was part of the upper echelons of the Company.

Following this line of thought, we can also draw the conclusion that 1) he had more or less a background in sailing, even if tangentially, and, more importantly, 2) he had connections and at least some sway because of his family name.

Now, there are three avenues for a “gentleman” (or, in Nate’s case, a “young gentleman”), i.e. a member of the gentry who thus holds a higher social position than regular seamen on board, might have joined the Navy. And this is where things get interesting:

1) The traditional way: Nate would have joined the Royal Navy at age 12, probably to be taken on as an officer’s servant (the highest and most important position a boy–that’s literally the rank–could hold). There, he would have studied and learned the ropes of sailing while also serving a commissioned officer. After about 3 years, at the very least, he would have been promoted to the rank of midshipman, effectively becoming an aspiring officer. Being a midshipman also would have put him in a position of relative power, as middies were held above most seamen because of their social status. Once a midshipman, Nate would have continued to train and study for another three years, which would have him completing the required time at sea to take the Lieutenant exam and finally earn his commission (do note that passing the exam didn’t automatically get him a commission, but rather turned him into “passed midshipman” awaiting a vacancy). And so on and so forth, climbing positions based on a number of factors.

2) The less-liked and more-frowned-upon but still valid way: Less likely, since this would have required Nate to be born, at the very least, in 1714. Nate would have attended the Royal Naval Academy (founded in 1729) to study sailing for three years, which would have earned him two years of time at sea, with none of the actual time being at sea at all. He would have then joined a ship as a midshipman-by-order, paid less than midshipmen who trained at sea, but a middy all the same. The school, however, was unpopular in the Navy, because officers enjoyed the privilege of having servants and preferred the traditional method of training officers via apprenticeship. All of this said, even if Nate had been born at a time when he could have gone to the Academy, I personally believe that his family wouldn’t have allowed it, specifically because the school was unpopular.

3) The highly illegal but generalized way: Now, remember how I said Nate’s family was probably part of the gentry? This is where that’s important. His father, having social and political connections, could have used his sway to have Nate’s name entered in ships’ logs from a young age, without him actually being on said ships. This would have made it so that he would have racked up the required years at sea to become a midshipman or, less often, a lieutenant, without ever actually having been at sea. It would have saved Nate the arduous and sometimes grueling training at sea since he was 12, and he would have been able to comfortably join a ship at about age 17-18, as a full midshipman. I personally believe that if Nate had heard that his father was doing this (which I wouldn’t put past him), he would have opposed the notion, even as a child, and would have insisted on doing thing the right way. Which is also the hard way, but the payoff would probably have been much greater, and he would have earned his place, however far he went.

All of the above said, I choose to go with 1), even if 3) wouldn’t be a surprise at all. This makes it so that Nate might have spent his first 10ish years of life in India, being raised British, and having tutored, as Silvia explained, to then be sent “home” to England so that he might join the Navy when he turned 12 and worked his way up in the Navy at a time before all-out naval warfare had quite broken out (that was closer to the mid 1700s, if my research doesn’t fail me). At this point in time, the British Navy was starting to recover from their horrible defeat at the hands of the Dutch in the Anglo-Dutch wars, and had already helped defeat France in the War of the Grand Alliance, starting to establish their foothold as the largest maritime force in the world.

So, with this bit of background, and after my two hours of research, this is what I imagine Nate’s career, following a childhood being raised British in India, must have looked like:

- Age 12, circa 1703: Nate joins the Royal Navy, ranked Boy, the lowest possible rank one can hold on a ship. Being of the gentry, he is taken on as an officer’s servant and begins learning the ropes and applying himself. Studious as he is, Nate probably had no issue following the theory and the classes taught on board, but the more physical part, and getting used to life at sea, could not have been easy for him.

- Age 15, circa 1706: After completing his three years of time at sea, Nate is promoted to midshipman. He becomes one of the group known as the cockpit mates, who berth and mess in the cockpit, largely midshipmen like himself. Being a midshipman means that, because of his social standing, he now ranks higher than most petty officers, and is given responsibilities by his superiors when necessary (which could include commanding a small vessel if necessary). Being a midshipman also means that he is now considered an aspiring officer, which is to say, someone whose aim is to take the Lieutenant exam and one day earn his commission. He continues to apply himself for the next three years, showing excellent discipline and self-control, and probably an adeptness for strategy, charting, and a number of other areas that appeal more to his brains than to his brawns. He is, of course, still expected to perform the physical tasks expected of his position, and thus he’s filling in and gaining muscle, in addition to a nice tan.

- 1707:  The Kingdom of Great Britain is formed by the Act of Union, which had the effect of merging the Scottish navy into the Royal Navy, effectively making the Royal Navy the largest maritime force in the world, which maintains superiority in financing, tactics, training, organization, social cohesion, hygiene, logistical support and warship design. They would hold this title for the next century or so.

- Age 18-19, circa 1709: It’s been six years since Nate first shipped out as a boy of 12, and he is now a sailor in full, with all the knowledge and experience to back it up. Now that he meets the time at sea requirement of six years, he is able to take the Lieutenant exam, which he passes with flying colors, having had to stand before a board of three members of the Admiralty and answer their questions. Thus, Nate becomes a passed midshipman, and awaits the day he receives his Lieutenant commission.

- Nate spends the next 2 years or so as a passed midshipman awaiting his commission. Usually, passed midshipmen are placed on a roster to be promoted as vacancies open up, but Nate does have an advantage, and it is that he has connections and a family name that holds sway. Thus, as a gentleman, he is placed somewhere at the top of the list of candidates to promotion, and doesn’t have to wait as much as he might have had to to receive his commission. Aged 21 or 22, his commission finally comes, and he is sent to a new ship, with a new crew and captain, to serve.

Throughout these years, the War of Spanish succession (1701-1714) is in full force. Once it’s over, Britain is granted Gibraltar and Menorca, which gives them a foothold to begin establishing their naval empire.

- Now that Nate holds a position as a Commissioned Officer, gaining higher ranks is not simply a matter of application and hard work. At this point, being promoted largely involves a number of other factors: favoritism, likability and popularity are, unfortunately, large players, together with achievement. He does, however, still hold sway because of his family name, and I imagine he makes a name for himself as a man who runs a tight, yet efficient, ship while simultaneously not being hated, in large part thanks to his congeniality and generally friendly disposition. It’s a bit of a balancing act, like walking on a tightrope, and he does fairly well, all things considered.

- Finally, after a number of years serving as a Lieutenant, Nate is promoted to Master and Commander and given command of his own ship, probably a frigate. By then, he’s probably in his mid-to-late-20s. And it is at this point in his naval career that something goes horribly wrong. Tragedy befalls his ship, his crew, and himself. He barely makes it out alive, no longer human, but something else, something more. Enter Nathaniel Sewell, vampire. His career in the Royal Navy is thus cut short, and his human life ends when it was barely beginning.

[littlefreya]

The Way to Hell - Part 9

MANY Thanks to @raspberrydreamclouds who designed this cover as a gift! ☝

Summary: Post Mi6, Alternate Canon. August escapes Ethan Hunt with his face intact and is currently the most dangerous man alive. Unwilling to back down from his murderous agenda, he plots to continue where he stopped, unaware of the trained assassin who is sent to bring him down.

Chapters: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10| Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Completed.

Pairing: August Walker x OFC (Lacey)

Word count: 8.3k

Warnings: Dark themes, smut, fluff and angst. Unprotected sex, hints of stalking, violence, swearing, sexual mentions, slight gore, choking, death.   

A/N: Okay, this chapter is long, it was hard to write, you guys may never speak to me again after this. So I’ll just post it now, and turn off my phone and hide beneath the blanket with excessive anxiety. Thanks @agniavateira for editing my work and being my muse.💖 

As always, comments and feedback are more than welcome 💖💕

*No permission is given for reposting my work, copying it or parts of the source material and claiming it as your own*

Title: Lacey

~*~

Have you paid the ferryman?

~*~

The cool light of fluorescent doesn’t do the honeyed gold of her hair justice. 

Doe eyes meet him, a striking green. Pure, like freshly-cut grass on a spring morning. The navy-coloured suit she wears counters the sunny shade of her slightly curly hair. She sports mid-length tassels, cut neatly just above her shoulders. She looks like she had it done this morning by the looks of it . 

“Hartmann, Lacey.”

Sitting at his desk with a pen pressed to his lips, the CIA agent observes her while ignoring the small hand in front of him. A tall, fit man in his late 20’s, face clean-shaven, hair like pure chocolate, combed neatly to the side but for a large rogue curl that falls on his brow. He collects it between his fingers and attempts to tuck it back in place.

“I don’t do partners, sweetcheeks.” he retorts after a short glance and turns away from the young agent, returning to his computer to browse a file he was just reading before she interrupted him.

An amused sigh passes through her plump lips as she shakes her head with sheer disbelief. “Do you have it any more cliche than that?” 

“I might, depending how long you are going to loom over there, princess.” August shoots back and slightly adjusts the tie around his shirt collar, not bothering to face the young woman again. It’s obvious what this is: a muzzler, or rather a babysitter in the form of a really good-looking girl. 

He fights the temptation to take another gander at the way her hair frames the apples of her rosy cheeks. 

“But since you’re already here, how about you fulfil your purpose in life and get me a cup of coffee? Double espresso, no sugar.”

August shoots her a look, observing her immediate reaction. Lacey’s green eyes widen, her mouth slightly opens. She rubs her knuckle between the soft pads of her fingers while thinking of what could be a suitable response to his disrespectful request.

I guess Erica didn’t bother prepping her.

Sloane, the heartless lioness. She leered at him with that sour look on her face since the day he stepped into the building. He swears the woman must have slices of lemons hidden in her panties. There is not even a drop of respect in those dark eyes whenever he sits in her office. Nor does she harbour any trust in his performance on the field. 

It all just worsened thanks to Ukraine. 

The explosion in the old Soviet power plant killed dozens of innocent lives at the cost of one. Though that man was responsible for the death of thousands, if not more. 

If you want to tear down a building, you better use a fucking hammer.

That cunt should thank him and promote him. 

“Nothing but daddy’s boy.” That’s what she sees in him. He might as well be another dead CIA agent like his father, then. Erased from memory, his great achievements discredited. At least he doesn’t have a family to throw to the dogs so they can rip them to shreds.

Oh Sloane, if only you knew half of the shit that goes beneath that stuck-up nose of yours.

Releasing another deep sigh, Lacey slumps to the seat in front of him, crossing her long legs together and leaning back in her chair while grabbing the folder on her desk. Her lips clamp together tightly, trying to hide the saltiness on her face. Long lashes curtain her eyes which pretend to read through the file. August rolls his eyes with annoyance, trying to ignore her existence and continue working his way through a case he’s been reading before she interrupted him. 

Yet every now and then his storm-touched eyes peer at the naive-looking woman, observing her and trying to determine how long will she last.

~*~

Is this hell?

~*~

That dusting of freckles on her nose and the fresh shimmer in her eyes give out much softness, yet she is anything but weak. Lacey Hartmann is a shield-maiden of some sort. For 2 months she withstood August’s “boot camp,” meaning she appeared unaffected by his cold demeanour.

At times there is even a hint of a smile hiding beneath that peach shade lipstick when August challenges her with an obscene dark joke. A hint of amusement tints the green of her irises, but she never dares to admit it. 

Too coy, almost chaste, yet iron-willed. 

August finds her behaviour borderline masochistic as he continues to prize her with nothing but arctic affection. Even so, she always listens when he speaks, her eyes open with pure intent, a fertile green field in her glance. 

Something spikes at the marrow of his bones, intrigue or so. Trivial thoughts find themselves latching into the tunnels of his complicated mind. His CIA brain begins to note her morning routine. A glacial stare registers the vanilla latte she drinks almost religiously every morning at 9, with two teaspoons of sugar. Lacey has a sweet tooth, it seems. She never misses dessert at the cantine and he once caught her bending the rules and sneaking candies back from their previous mission at eastern Europe.

He also noticed how when she is nervous, she twirls a finger in her hair with agitation and chews her plump lips. 

Blue is another point of interest. The colour seems to be dominant in her attire and accessories for some cryptic reason, though. not obsessively. She wears black or grey but then ties a silk scarf the shade of the sky around her delicate throat. When she is having a bad hair day, it’s the red pencil suit that draws attention to her body instead. The combination is horrifying when she sits in front of him holding her favourite mug which is glittery cerulean. 

He begins to wonder about her life outside of the headquarters. Her file rested in his apartment for weeks yet only recently he found himself bored enough to peek inside and read about her personal life. No husband is listed under her marital state, yet he wonders if a woman as attractive as Lacey has a man waiting for her at home. Someone kind, he imagines, and pitiful. She looks like a woman lacking a strong man in her life. 

“Are you going to finish that?” 

August’s brows furrow as she cuts into his adventurous trails of thought. His glassy eyes pierce at her as she sits in front of him at the cantine, sharing a lunch table. He hardly speaks during lunch anyway, and only listens to her musings with the usual sulk on his face. 

Lacey appears slightly frightened when she sees his menacing expression, yet her fright melts into a soft blush and a coy grin, in an attempt to pacify him. He nudges the plate with a slice of chocolate cake in her direction. 

“No, go ahead.” he watches as she digs her fork into it with excitement, her eyes shutting with near orgasmic pleasure as the chocolate melts on her tongue.  

His mind continues to wander, offering him possible imaginary visions of her personal life while she mumbles something in the background about the cake being outrageous. 

Her home address would be in that file too. 

It’s nothing but idle curiosity, after all.

~*~

You don’t believe in hell.

~*~

It’s been over 6 months of enduring her by his side. August imagined she’d run off crying to Sloane 2 days after being forced into this partnership, but she keeps a vow of secrecy, even when he bends a guideline or two during missions or violates nearly every HR policy. At first, she would warn him about his behaviour, but now she just calls it “The Walker Way”. 

It almost feels like he has a partner in crime. 

They arrived in Sicily a night ago, their mission is to locate and capture a millionaire-turned-terrorist and bring him in for questioning. It’s a  high profile target, which means the CIA spared no expense providing them with the finest hotel suites and fancy attire to attend a gallery opening. An informant suggested the suspect might be doing his bidding at the same mansion. 

Lacey meets August at the hotel’s main parking lot, wearing a cornflower blue mermaid-cut gown. Threads of silver adorn the outlines of her cleavage and little pieces of sparkling glitter draw his attention to her bust. He doesn’t attempt to hide the way his eyes fixate on her breasts. Beaming at the pale pink fat of her bosom before his gaze finally wanders to meet her face, giving her his regular cocky stance.

Is she wearing a bra underneath?

“You look handsome,” Lacey compliments, swallowing a complaint about the obvious way he objectified her. “We look as if we’ve matched colours.” The royal blue three-piece suit brings out the ocean in his eyes and she allows herself to dwell in the calm water as she glances back, offering him a smile.

Stoic, he ignores her praises, studying her face quietly. The shade on her lips is not the usual one; it’s darker, making her look more vamping. He doesn’t like it, her natural appearance is sweet and supple, and this colour clashes with her complexion and the concept of her in his mind.

The unnerving silence between them greatly challenges her. The need to crack the autumn evening air with some sort of dialogue pans in her chest. 

“Are you…” Lacey begins speaking when her eyes squint at the region of his mouth. “...growing a moustache?” Bold fingers reach up, ghosting over his upper lip where a few days’ stubble seems to grow longer than the rest on his jaw. August cocks his eyebrow as the tips of her fingers almost touch his mouth. She notices his disapproval and pulls her hand away apologetically.

“For the mission, I thought it might make me look older.” 

An amused smile cracks on her face, her cheeks rounding up to perfect blushing circles. “The real Mrs. Walker would be mortified.”  

August scoffs, rolling his eyes at the notion before turning away to watch the cars that pass by. His hand rests on his chest, straightening the vest underneath his suit and stretches the muscles of his back. A timid-blowing zephyr caresses his face; his Adam apple rises and drops dryly in his throat.

“Is there a…”

“Oh c’mon, Hartmann! You know the answer to the question, don’t act stupid and play small talk with me, it’s not your style.” 

Lacey’s lips press shut together, her green eyes dropping to the floor. She knows the only Mrs. Walker is his mother, and Madeleine has been gone for a couple of years now. Everything is in his file, allowing her to learn about the “mundane life” August Walker leads, or at least the ones he allows her to see through her CIA spectacles. 

It was an obligation to do the same with her. His old man once told him to learn who he’s dealing with before opening his “goddamn mouth.” That’s all there is to it, and his curiosity if he has to admit it.

Lacey Hartmann lives alone with her cat, Sir Podrick, on Hampshire St 457 on flat number 45. A magazine two-room apartment, picture-perfect, tidy to the point of OCD. She has an older sister but they rarely see each other. On her free weekends, she loves to watch romantic comedies while drinking hot chocolate with tiny marshmallows. 

He often wonders if her sweet tooth is compensating for something missing in her life. Yet there is never a man in her apartment.

Sometimes she dances in front of the window, especially after a hard day at the office. He can’t tell which music is playing in her headphones, but the way she moves her body makes him believe it’s something upbeat and cheerful. 

The images of her bedroom window vanish as a slightly irritating thought peaks in his mind at her comment. Mrs. Walker. A hiss of violent air shoots from his nostrils. 

Relationships were not something he cared to pursue. Life had other offerings. 

Besides, the women he liked were too tender and he was too rough. So, his conquests never lasted more than a night. 

Agitated, he pulls his sleeve to look at his Rolex, muttering something obscene under his breath which makes Lacey shift uncomfortably on her feet. The driver should have arrived by now. Every car that parks at the pebbled road bears disappointment, dropping off more honeymooners and rich, older married couples. 

A soft smile breaks on Lacey’s painted lips while she stares at August who’s facing the driveway with his fists clenched at the sides of his body.

“Well, since we’re stuck here waiting for a ride, you better entertain me.” Lacey speaks with grace, not a hint of nervousness or fright in her voice. She learnt how to deal with August and his tantrums by now. 

August remains silent, his sight never breaking from the driveway and the alley of palm trees that pave the path. 

“Or I guess we can stare at the big full moon,” she says to herself, lifting her eyes to the clear sky.

August stares back at the golden-haired woman, her long lashes fluttering gently as she counts the stars in her mind. A naive glint sparks her eyes as she’s captivated by her own fascination. The pale blue of the moon reflects on her milky skin, making her look like a siren in her beautiful dress.

“Yeah, it’s lovely,” he says in his deep voice. 

*~*

And even if it existed, hell wouldn’t have you.

*~*

The expo is held at a royal mansion of some sort. A large Sicilian palace that is owned by an ageing millionaire. Golden floral embellishments spread across the azure velvet walls, shimmering at the lights of the crystal chandeliers which dangle in the halls.   

Various ancient trinkets are placed in glass cubes. Crudely-made bows and arrows that were carved from cheap wood by a half-brain neanderthal are offered for the price of 200,000,000 Euros.    

Ridiculous.

Keen on finding their target, both August and Lacey decide to split up upon their arrival, planning their strategy ahead by protocol. August is the striking image of professionalism tonight, stretching his gaze around the large hallway. He has been this way for the last several missions, working by the book, making sure to perform as clean as possible, whatever that means in CIA terms. 

He even managed to win a word of praise from Sloane, who still can’t stand the very sight of his face. But at least she ceased from eating his head at the conclusion of every mission. 

And Lacey seems to appreciate it, too. 

The brooding man spends the night pretending to be enthralled by the exhibition and its boring guests who continually attempt to strike pointless conversations with him. As part of his task, he only speaks with those who seem to be an asset and brushes others away by answering in fluent Italian, pretending to not understand a word in English while smiling at them politely. 

Blending in, the young agent stands by one of the bars, leaning onto the marble counter and enjoying some type of strawberries-in-cream dessert which was offered to him by a tall,  abnormally attractive waitress who’s been walking around with a silver tray. 

Lacey would love this fruit-pudding thingy, he muses as his fingers brush through the mid-length stubble above his lip. His eyes carefully scan the room for any group of men in their late 30s for a clue or a sign. 

The sound of a woman’s laughter chips away his attention like a siren’s call.

So that’s how she sounds like when she laughs. 

Grabbing a glass of champagne, he steps forward on the black carpeted floor, following the cheerful voice as it rolls delightfully in his ears. Storm clouds gather in his eyes. The siren is behaving unprofessionally to the point of being offensive. A tall glass of half-empty Lambrusco hangs between her slender fingers while her head falls back; her hand rests on her chest, trying to contain her laughter. 

She is the centre of attention to a group of famished men. 

August frowns with disapproval. She’s supposed to act drunk, not get buzzed. Standing at the large pathway, he watches how she smiles widely, mouth gaping, small dimples peeking at the corner of her lips. The honey of her hair makes her stand out in a room of dark beauties, the shade of her dress an anchor for any travelling eyes.

He takes an irritated sip from his champagne, swallowing the sparkly liquid, trying to ignore the bells of laughter which begin to sound like an insult, meant to provoke him. His piercing eyes search for the target in the room, focusing on the task on hand and being the professional his father urged him to be. 

Yet as if magnetized, his glare returns to her.  

For a moment there he nearly forgets that she is a CIA agent. The men around her flirt nearly barbarically, their mouths salivating with predatory hunger. Is she too pure to understand their intentions? The vultures are waiting to tear her limb by limb. Possibly hoping she will be drunk enough to be dragged by one of them.

The storm inside him rages. Thoughts of her being tainted by one of these hideous men enter his mind and poison bubbles in his throat, drowning him in anger.

He puts his champagne flute on the tray of one of the hostesses who passes by. He fixes his tie over his neck and swallows hard. His strides are confident and charismatic as he marches into their circle abruptly, reaching an arm over to Lacey. 

“Sweetheart, here you are. Come see this piece, you’re going to love it.” hee speaks with contained anger, his baritone loud and clear, roaring through his puffed chest and squared shoulders.

Lacey turns to smile at him as he latches his fingers around her forearm, rescuing her by pulling her away from the predators with as much elegance he can muster at his current aggravated mood.

“Are you fucking drunk, Hartmann? What’s wrong with you?! We have a dangerous man to catch.” He whispers angry and low in her ear, carrying her toward an open terrace where they can discuss and re-strategize the mission.

The cool breeze caresses their faces, tenderly running through their hair as they approach the open air. The young woman continues to giggle as August’s fingers tickle beneath her armpit while he takes her to stand next to the large renaissance modules that hide them from the guests of the event. He lets go of her forearm, looking down at her with a scowl.

“Relax, I was trying to make it look convincing with these decadent, empty idiots.” she attempts to pacify him, looking up into his eyes, her head reaching just beneath his square chin. 

“Isn’t it ridiculous?”

“What is?”

“The way they sell these artefacts on such a high price when it was created by a primitive creature who ate his own fleas,” she mocks with a mischievous smile. “This is the end of human culture, this capitalistic point of view.”

A cold shiver crawls at August’s spine as he hears her speaking of his ideals. He had never seen her this way before. 

So opinionated, so bold. 

Has she been reading my mind?

They have never been this physically close, he can smell the lupines on her skin and the Lambrusco on her breath. Lacey’s amused grin begins to relax somewhat, her eyes now staring at something with stark fascination.

“You have a brown spot in one of your eyes.”

August brow furrows even deeper, dark lines forming between his thick eyebrows as the woman ogles him in a bizarre way. His blood thickens as the pleasant wind brushes at his face.

“Sectoral heterochromia, I was born with it.”

“It’s beautiful,” she answers with an enchanted glare, batting her lashes and moving further to study the shape of his flaw. Her feet arch to the tip of her toes, reaching higher to his face. August remains still, watching as if within a haze when her lips crash onto his. 

Chills spiral through his nerves, his eyes wide open as her soft lips press into his in a long, chaste kiss. There is a small hum in her voice, painted lashes look like black curved trails as her eyes shut with an enchantment. For a second he can feel her body press into his, her breasts grinding at his broad chest. She slowly detaches from him, opening her eyes and falling flat on her feet.

Alarm spills onto her face, her hand covering her mouth with guilt as panic surges. August stares back without a sign of emotion on his arctic face.

“I’m so sorry!” She calls out in utter embarrassment, moving away from him by a step.

His breath grows rigid, his mind a war. In an instant, he pulls her wrist away from her face and claims her into his grasp, kissing her earnestly, even violently. Lacey’s moans melt into his mouth, her body crashing into his, writhing as her lips gape, accepting his insidious tongue. 

She tastes like sugar.

August slams her against the wall, growling as her hands roam down his body and messing his outfit. A fervent stir tingles at his groin and the way she squeezes the muscles of his behind and tries to shove her hands under his trousers does nothing to relax his racing heart. Depraved, his hand pushes between her legs, trying to cup her heat through the tight dress, yet it cages her legs too tightly. 

“I want you out of this fucking dress.” August growls, breaking the passionate kiss to breath hot and heavy in her ear. 

“Then take me back to the hotel.” she retorts breathlessly, grinding her pelvis into the growing hardness in his groin.

“We can’t, the mission.”

Lacey emits a frustrated huff, sounding as if she’s meaning to beg as her body constantly pushes into his in a snakelike dance. “Forget about him, he’s not here, we’ll do it the Walker way.”

There is nothing in this world strong enough to convince him otherwise as those big doe eyes peer at him with admiration and a sense of need he never received from any woman before. It wasn’t like the women who begged him to fuck them as he tormented and delayed their release.

For the first time in his life, he felt purely wanted.

~*~

The ride back to the hotel is the most dreadful experience he had to endure in his life. Both Lacey and he sit at each side of the car, avoiding eye contact whilst their organs throb with aching need. She keeps her fingers laced together while the driver listens to some old Italian love song and sings along the tunes on the radio. August attempts to avoid drowning into his thoughts but the idea of having her tonight makes the blood pool hot in his loins.

They hardly make it into her room. Exploiting every moment left in solitude to make out like horny teenagers. Whenever a hotel staff member or a guest passes by, they break away from one another in the most obvious manner.

As they finally arrive at the suite, August kicks the door shut with his foot and preys at her, his talons reaching for her face, his thumb wiping off whatever remains of her lipstick before kissing her again. 

“I don’t like this, it isn’t you.” he states in between invigorated kisses while Lacey battles to take off his clothes, pushing the blazer off his shoulders and then working the buttons of his vest and shirt with lust guiding her fingers. She ignores his remark, answering with another breathless kiss instead while moving to fumble with his belt.

Their feet kick at one another as August leads them toward the king-size bed, fondling the curves of her body through the terrible prison that is her dress. His long legs nearly lose their balance as she successfully unzips his trousers and finds him fully erect and pulsating in her small hand. 

Logic turns to steam at the manipulation of her hands. His gasps resonate through the length of his throat, giving in to the whispers of his heart. How long yearned for her, wanting to keep her in the birdcage of his vision. 

Lacey, so bold yet so sweet.   

With the swiftness of his hands, he turns her around, tugging at the zipper of her dress while dotting her collarbone with possessive nibbles. Her naked figure unveils to him as a flower opens to the sunlight of spring.

Left in nothing but her baby-blue lace underwear, she steps out of her dress and moves to face the large naked man, pacing back as he sneaks toward her like a direwolf. The look on her face is admirable. Drenched of fear and desire at once, feeding his natural dominance.

“August…” she whispers his name. Her lips quiver at the sight of his broad form, appreciating every sinew, every muscle. August reaches to hold his cock as the blood stirs into it with rage, wanting to be inside this angel, to taint her and mark every piece of skin. 

“I don’t have a condom.” he warns, licking his lips as she slides her underwear down her long, creamy legs. Her mound is completely waxed, just the way he wants it. Pure.  

“I’m clean and protected.”

Inviting him into her mysteries, Lacey offers him a devoted stare and reaches her delicate hand toward him. No clarity is left in his mind; desire clouds every rational thought, every self-preservation instinct. He ignores her hand and lunges at her like a predator.

They fall into a sea of silken sheets together, August covering her body with his, giving no care of how his weight crushes her. His hands hold her wrists pinned to the mattress as he pushes her smooth thighs apart with his knees.

Lacey’s moans are mesmerizing as he sinks himself into her wonders. Singing her pleasure at him like a true siren. An overwhelmed groan breaks from his own lips as the wetness of her flesh encloses around his cock, sucking him from within with an embrace of lust. Soft and delicate, she writhes against his crude, rugged body and he thrusts inside her with teetering grunts, taking her with sheer, primal dominance. 

She feels different, like no other woman he ever had before. Completely submissive to his darkest desires. Her body opens to him, like a precious, heavenly nymph and he takes what he wants. Deeper and deeper, drowning into her womb, never wanting to stop, invigorated by the way her hands clutch at his body with the same desperation that is in his chest.

For three days, they never leave the suite. Lost in a carnal euphoria that makes both of them forget the existence of the outer world.

~*~

Oh, hell indeed exists, it’s on the earth you walked your entire life.

~*~

The delicious aroma of crispy, caramelized bacon and fluffy pancakes tickles his senses to wake up. Salty and sweet, the scent draws him to sit upon the bed that’s slightly too small for his wide frame. A drowsy smirk crawls onto his face. This scent is his second favourite thing to wake up to.  

Locating his cobalt trunks on the floor, he hauls himself out of her bed, pulls them on and tries to tame the messy bundle of curls on his head while he walks to find her in the kitchen. The bacon sizzles on the pan as Lacey stands next to the stove in his buttoned-up shirt. She is flipping an impossible quantity of pancakes and frying strips of bacon in another pan. 

Her rounded ass peeks at him with every shift her body makes.

August sneaks behind her with the skill of a CIA agent, looming closer and wrapping his arms around her torso, his chin resting on the top of her head, while his hungry eyes feast on the pancakes and amber bacon.

Lacey flinches in his grip, he can feel her heart jump for a moment before she relaxes into his embrace, lips melting into a wide smirk as August rocks her from side to side.

“Morning,” she hums delightfully. “Go sit, there is freshly brewed coffee waiting for you.”

August drops a kiss on the top of her head, a low growl of serenity climbing up his throat. “You’re a dream, princess.”

And you’re all mine. 

With a wisp of unwillingness, he detaches from her and walks to the table, where Lacey’s favourite mug of coffee awaits him with steam rising from within. His eyes are a calm sea sparkling at the sunrise as he looks at her with admiration. 

Everything about her tips him across the edges of sanity; the way she smiles at his horrible dark jokes, the way she listens to everything he says with devotion and appeal, the way she speaks about her ideals and sees him like no person ever did before.

Lacey turns her head and sneaks a small glance at him, giving a smile and a wink before returning to the stove.

It took 5 months to admit to himself that he likes this, that he enjoyed being here, with her and her stupid cat, or in every distant location in the world. It didn’t matter if they were in Afghanistan or Paris, as long as he got to listen to her breathing in her slumber. That night in Sicily wasn’t just mindless sex. It was a union of two souls. They spent the night talking and while he was reluctant to open up-as he still is-he was stunned to find out just how much this woman shared similar points of views.

Though she never says it specifically, Lacey wants to watch the world burn. 

He hasn't even told her about his idea, not yet. It’s probably too soon anyway as he only started formulating his intention a couple of months ago. A part of him still fears how she may react if she finds out he’s been selling CIA secrets and dealing weapons right beneath Sloane’s nose. 

“I hope you’re hungry,”

Lacey calls out as she places two large plates of pancakes and bacon on the table and walks quickly to get the maple syrup from the counter. Sir Podrick jumps on the table as she puts the syrup next to the plates. Aggravated, August shoos the cat away and reaches to grab the woman's forearm, forcing her into his lap possessively.

“You know I am, princess.” he murmurs as he kisses her shoulder and then her lips, before grabbing a piece of pancake and some bacon with his fork and nibbling it deliciously. Lacey remains on his lap, grabbing a stripe of bacon from his plate and chewing on it with a pleasant moan before directing her gaze to August.

“How long do you think we can keep this a secret?” she asks, slight concern appearing on her face. August swallows the remaining pancake in his mouth and sips some coffee to clear his throat. His fingers thread through the gold of her hair, combing the large waves repeatedly.

“I don’t want them to take you away from me.”

His voice is nearly that of a child.

The agency’s protocol won’t allow partners to be in a relationship due to an incredible conflict of interest. “Sloane would lose her shit if she’d find out this entire time we’ve been doing this.” He chuckles dryly and shoves another piece of pancake into his mouth while still looking at Lacey. The first morning rays shine through the wide-open window, basking her face with a shimmering summer glow. 

“We can run away,” she teases. “Buy a yacht, tell Erica to go fuck herself and sail the sea.”

August smirks, his hand descending to the small of her back as images of embarking to the great unknown with her fill his chest with euphoric bliss. 

A daydream, perhaps in the future, after mankind is free.  

“I think she’s beginning to warm up to me though.” 

“Well, she did start calling you The Hammer after the last mission.” Lacey answers and grabs the mug from August’s side, stealing a mischievous sip. “If only they knew it has a different meaning to some of us.”

August crooks his eyebrow up at Lacey and wipes his moustache clean. His hands reach to tickle the sides of her belly, causing her to let go of the mug before he snatches it back. Her giggles make his heart feel at ease, something he’ll never dare to tell or show her. 

Asserting his dominance by only giving as much. 

“Why did you join the agency in the first place? You never told me.” she wraps her arms around his shoulders, the green of her eyes appearing yellow at the ray of sunlight that beams on her face.

His gaze falls upon the table, staring at the remnants of the pancakes while licking his teeth. Thoughts of his past begin to echo in the chasm of his mind. 

The day his mom fell to her knees and let out a banshee-like howl of agony at the empty ceiling as two agents came into their house.

He was 13, and from that moment on, he was all alone in a cold, ravenous world. 

“I wanted to die for the government, just like my father.” he spits out, thinking of how his life turned over one autumn morning. A tall, lanky boy who couldn’t even comfort his mother as she tore off tufts of her hair. 

August didn’t even cry, not since then.  

The curious look on Lacey’s face fades into sadness, compassion welling on her now golden-green irises. “You never told me how he died.” 

A muscle twitches in his cheek, his eyebrows knitting together as anger begins to slightly boil his blood. “Like all heroes, forgotten. I don’t know how, it was during a mission in Moscow. Nothing in his files but a mention on an accident, no details other than that.” 

“Is that why you have such small faith in the government?” Lacey asks innocently, referring to their pillow-talk. The ones they have while she presses her soft cheek to his chest and draws invisible circles onto his chest.  

The lump in his throat dries as he remembers the weeks that followed after his father was gone. They were thrown to the dogs to be gnawed at. No compensation, no financial support, and no one to comfort young August. 

His mother couldn’t even look at him anymore. Those blue soulful eyes, the cleft of his chin, and even the shape of his nose were inherited from his father. 

The most pain August has ever endured was when someone he loved was unable to look at him anymore.  

Madeleine was a loyal housewife from the midwest who never took a real job. Arthur provided for them. While he wasn’t the warmest father, he kept his family close, taking them with him on his trips, unless they were too dangerous. 

By the time August was seven, he’s already been to all continents. 

After his father’s death, both the money and his mother withered away. Having no experience in anything but waiting tables, Madeleine couldn't support her own child and perhaps she didn’t want to. The boy was a painful memory of what she lost. 

The last he remembers of her, she dragged him with her to church and went on her knees as August sat on the bench. She prayed and cried out to God until her knees bled and her eyes rimmed red from the tears she wept.

But God never answered.

That week, social services arrived at their door. He never saw her since that day and needless to say, no one wanted a hostile 13-year-old boy. 

August turns his face to stare at Lacey, examining her round, freckled face and her plump, pink lips. They make her look like a renaissance painting of an angel. At times, he’s afraid that his rage will tarnish her, swallow the light of her spirit. Yet he can never hold back, fucking her so roughly, she hurts for days. His instincts drive him to spill all his fury into her cavities. To offer all the spite and hurt that poisoned his soul, as if it will cleanse him. 

And for a few seconds, he is sanctified. Coming inside her makes him feel complete in every sense of the word.   

The soft purring of Lacey’s cat grounds him to reality. The chubby ginger cat rubs around his leg affectionately, his yellow diamond eyes staring at August. 

“Let’s not talk about it, anymore,” he replies in a somewhat final tone.

Lacey nods at him, giving him a look full of understanding. Her fingers reach behind his ear, stroking the soft chocolate curls and tucking them back. “Okay, Aug. But we really need to talk about that!” 

Her fingers move to point at his thick moustache, her eyes narrowing with disdain. 

August strokes his moustache with his thumb and index finger and lets them slide down the stubble of his square chin. “You don’t like it?”

Lacey shakes her head with protest, trying her best to appear irritated. “No.”  

Princess is so cute when she pretends to be angry.

August offers her a smug smirk in return, grabbing the last remaining piece of bacon from his plate and sliding it whole into his mouth. “Too bad, it stays.” he answers with his mouth full, grease smearing on the corners of his lips. “It makes me look dangerous and you love it.”

“No, you look like pornstar.”

“I’d fuck you like one.” he answers with a dark glint in his eyes. In a sudden movement, he places both hands on Lacey’s waist and stands up with her in his grip. The woman squeals with surprise as he flings her over his shoulder with little to no effort and stings her ass with a sharp slap.

“Do you want it here, sweetheart, or in the bedroom?” he asks and bites the fat of her behind. Lacey cries out in pain, her legs kicking the air.

He loves to hear her laugh, just as much as he loves to hear her scream.

*~*

If hell is on earth, then what does it make you?

*~*

Like a creature dwelling in the darkness, he sits in the bleak hours of the night, fingers stroking the keys as if he’s a composer, conducting his symphony of destruction. The flesh of his lips chafe at the lack of sleep and insufficient fluids, yet he gives no care. 

This will be his legacy, his gift to the world, his gift to her.

The pale teal light of the screen flickers lightly on his weary corneas. It’s nothing but pixels, black on white, five blocks of paragraphs for now, but the raw power in words proceeds beyond any other weapon known to mankind. So pure, so cataclysmic. 

Just like an atomic reaction.

She will see through his eyes soon. The potential, the greater good. All her words of breaking the system, about dreaming of a better world. A sweet, naive girl with a mind fed with agenda. It was as if they were threaded into one another’s life, destined to be. 

The paving of a new world has already begun. They call themselves the apostles, a group of no more than 12 people, men and women of science and power. Their identities are unknown among one another. It matters very little, the seeds have been sown into the earth. Small acts of terror, biological and chemical incidents around selected locations around the globe, just enough to test the waters. 

Greatness from small beginnings.

It will take time, yet he is patient, and his little angel of destruction will be by his side once the time is right. All mankind will be reunited in peace after the earth will shudder beneath their feet.

~*~

Does it make you a monster?

~*~

Something sharp prods his mind to wake up. A nightmare, whispering toxic words in the darkness. He hears a vague ruffle in the webbed darkness of the night and he blindly reaches his palm to stroke her and finds himself abandoned. There is a knot in his gut and a storm brewing in his mind. Carefully and silently, he reaches for the loaded gun in his nightstand and slips out of bed. 

Pale blue and humming, a soft light invites him to follow to the office next to his bedroom. His heart drums heavily in his chest, his face falling as his vision becomes clear. Bright pink winks through the molten mixture of shadow and light. She hovers over his open computer, spreading files and paper plans over the surface of his desk, all the while holding her digital camera, violating his secrets.

Whatever is in his chest shrieks and bleeds with misery.

“Would be more efficient if you’d switch the light on.”

The woman jumps as she hears his voice and a heavy flood of bright light showers her crimes as August flicks the switch on. She straightens up, as stiff as a frozen tree. Unable to face him right away, her face remains hidden from him. August can see the spasm of her legs beneath her nightdress.

“What are you doing?” August asks, his voice low and menacing, eyes travelling from the Nikon camera that hangs from her hand to his secret scribbles as they lay on his desk, right next to his open manifest. 

“Look at me.” he demands, stern and composed as he can. 

Lacey turns slowly to peer at him, her lips aquiver, eyes shining with guilt. The only sound from her is the shudder of her breath that rushes through her heaving chest. 

The hurt must have blinded his thoughts. He doesn’t remember aiming his gun at her head, it’s only when he sees the woman’s surrendering gesture does he register his actions.

Taking a deep breath, he lowers his gun and places it carefully on the floor. His hands splay in the air, disarmed, offering a truce as he stretches to stand straight. 

“Was I…” he swallows the dryness in his throat and licks his lips. 

It would take a real fool to be so blind to see what was in front of him the whole time. 

“I was your mission?”

Lacey remains quiet, her eyes refusing to meet his. Tears glide down the apples of her rosy cheeks. 

“Tell me the truth Lacey, please. I just want to understand.” The threat in his voice turns soft, becoming nearly a plea as he takes one step forward, watching the woman flinch and step back, her behind colliding with the desk.

The woman weeping in front of him is a trained CIA agent, yet the despair in her eyes shows no signs of panning struggle. The only way out of this room is through him, a man who is nearly twice her size and knows her every move.

“Erica suspected you’re the one who is leaking secrets, so she sent me…”

That’s why she inquired so much, wanted to hear his thoughts, to sleep at his home despite his reluctance. He agreed for the first time tonight, unaware of her insidious intentions. 

Did you really think you deserve this?

August scoffs, his heart clenching painfully in his battered lungs. 

He was wrong. There is something more painful than having someone you love never look back at you. 

“Did she tell you to sleep with me?”

Lacey’s gaze drops to the floor in silence; her answer is nothing but a pathetic sniffle as she pinches her nose.

Bile rises in his throat as he sees shame on her face, so obvious, so obscene. Her purity was false. 

There was nothing sweet or innocent about her, she was nothing but a whore.

“Answer me!!!” he rumbles, more beast than man. 

Lacey jumps and sobs with panic, nodding her head at him with her confession.  “Ye..Yes… any means possible.”

Running his palm through his face and groaning with frustration, the young CIA agent exhales hoarsely. He takes another small step towards her, gradually closing the distance between them, watching his shadow loom on her porcelain skin.

Lacey’s eyes widen with panic. Her ankles kick back the wooden legs of the desk, her hands scattering August’s belongings. White sheets of paper fly down to the floor, ink smudged by tears.

“Stay away,” she warns.

“Does she know? Did you tell her or anyone else at the agency?” he ignores her pathetic threats, taking another step closer. Her floral scent fills his nostrils, nearly triggering his instinct to claim her lips. His gaze softens with an ocean of mercy as she shakes in front of him so violently, breaking into tears of grief. 

Delicate fingers cup her jaw, sliding across the slick moistness of her tears as he tilts her chin up. “Please, tell me the truth.” 

Lacey lifts her gaze to meet his, her eyes puffy and red, her plump lips swollen. She wipes her nose with the back of her palm. “I had nothing to report, until now.”

His grasp tightens around her chin, forcing her head back to look at the text flickering on the monitor. “All this talk about a better world, I thought this is what you wanted.”

She snaps her head back to glare at him, eyes narrowing with disgust and anxiety. “You thought I’d like this?! This is sick!”

August’s nostrils flare yet he gives a gentle nod of understanding and hushes her sudden surge of stress. His hand caresses her round, damp face. The thick pads of his thumbs wipe the salty tears away from her skin and his body presses into hers. 

Even a tremoring mess, she is still so soft and warm. 

“Did you ever love me?” 

His lips are merely an inch from her temples as he whispers. His large hand slides down her cheek, stroking down her jaw and descending further below her chin.  

Unable to muster another lie, she remains silent, aware of the fact that the sand in the hourglass has all but diminished, along with her chances of survival.

Words are unnecessary. The truth speaks loudly in her eyes, the poisonous infidelity was always there all along. Struck by her angelic beauty he was too blind to see, leeching onto false heaven, a childish fantasy of love that never existed.

Small spots of blood begin to form in her wide-open eyes as his long fingers lock around her thin neck, squeezing with intensifying force. Tighter, harder. His name remains caged in her throat as she fights for the air she thinks she deserves. 

“No, you didn’t.” August whispers, his vision beginning to blur. “You never did.”

Strangled yips of pain wheeze through her mouth. Struggling frantically while August hardly even bats an eyelid, staring at her with no emotion on his face. Desperate arms reach out to both heaven and hell, her body squirms and her eyes plead for August to let go. 

Begging for her life.

Something breaks inside her throat. Her last breath follows, a short gasp, frozen in her body for eternity as both her heart and her eyes become still. 

August glances at her pale skin, her gaping lips stained violet, her bloodied eyes glassy, returning his broken reflection.

Sorrowful tears roll down the lines of his face as his heart pumps with pain black as tar. A loud gasp of agony rips from him, shuddering across his entire existence as the very base of his soul chars in his chest. Broken, he falls to his knees with Lacey cradled in his arms, his hand stroking her dull hair and her blue cheeks while husky cries of anguish come through his throat.

All emotions end. An empty abyss claims the spot where his soul once laid. The only thing left to him now is pure, undistilled hatred.

~*~

I am the one who reigns in hell.

~*~

Black cold liquid seeps into weary lungs. Skeletal hands caress his face unkindly, the thin bones, so hard and frozen as they travel down his grey cheeks. No grace is given to him, no redemption. This was nothing but a dream of a life. 

As tar oozes from his throat, her voice continues to call for him. 

His last memories are of Erica, sitting on her throne of lies, swallowing his accusations while peering at him through her dark eyes. Face filled with guilt, oh, she didn't have a clue. Everyone believed Lacey Hartmann was the double agent this entire time. Angelic eyes hiding dark secrets. He planted the evidence in her house, in her computer, sparing his manifest of course. Just enough to tarnish her name forever. 

A painful wheeze splits his throat. Iron tinged his tongue. 

The promotion was won right after the body was cremated. A fine medal given for having his life put at risk.  

Glory and fame won over the woman you loved.

I never loved her. She was a lying whore, she betrayed me.

But you did love me, August. 

Blood spills through his mouth as he coughs. His blue eyes shoot open, peering at a great hole in the ceiling and the dust that floats calmly in the chill air of night. The pain sears his shoulder, throbbing furiously to remind him there is still blood running through his veins. He grunts as he clutches at the gaping wound, trying to hold onto the blood that still remains in his wretched heart. 

Run and hide, little Ingvild

I am no one but Lucifer himself. 

I will have my vengeance.  

__________________________________________________

Disclaimer: I don’t own Mission Impossible franchise or August Walker

[snowdice]

Big Bang (Sort of) Editing Story [Day 48]

I started writing this fic while editing my Big Bang story, but am going to continue doing it for other things now that Kill Dear is out. I will write and publish 100 words of the story every time I finish doing whatever task I’m doing. If you’d like to block these proceedings, please feel free to block the tag proofread stories. I will reblog this post with the parts of the story I do today. Edited chapters are linked; everything else I’ve done so far is under the cut.

My Master Post Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18

Ugh I have so many boring things to do today, so have this.

Chapter 19

Thomas sighed in relief as the door to the royal wing finally came into sight. He was exhausted from his journey to Lamir for many reasons. Beyond just the physically taxing journey, he’d also had to deal with the emotions of loosing someone he had thought of as a friend while also trying to help her young daughter who had just had the crown thrust upon her.

Now he just wanted to see his own child and curl up into bed. He smiled at Owen and Kalani as he approached. “Is Logan here?” he asked.

Owen nodded. “The prince and his royal advisor are having a slumber party.”

Thomas smiled. “Of course, they are,” he said.

 He said goodnight to the two guard as they’d be getting off duty soon even if he did manage to drag himself out of his room again tonight and walked past them into the hall.

He walked past the room where they kept the jewels, though was unsurprised to see that the room was unlatched as Patton loved playing around with the different jewelry and had probably left it open when he grabbed them. He was however surprised when his son’s room’s door was thrown open, as Logan usually couldn’t stand for the thing to be open with or without him in it.

 Thomas didn’t think much of it however, and simply walked over to look inside. He was surprised when he didn’t see his son or Patton and instead saw that the only person in the room was a young boy that Thomas did not recognize. He was seated in one of Logan’s chairs and had his head tilted looking at himself in the mirror. He seemed to be trying to get a look at the ornament on the back of his head, and Thomas felt his heart seize a little bit when he recognized the hairpin.

He hadn’t recovered from that gut punch when the boy’s eyes drifted and met his in the mirror. There were a couple of long seconds where the two of them stared at each other in silence.

“Hello?” Thomas finally managed to get out.

Panic. There was suddenly horribly intense panic in the child’s eyes, the likes of which Thomas had never seen before. Thomas could only blink dumbly as he hopped to his feet like his seat was suddenly made of hot coals and then threw himself across the room to the opposite side from Thomas.

He looked around himself, back to the wall and considered Thomas with wildly spooked eyes. Clearly, he realized that he was pinned in Logan’s room by Thomas being in the door.

The boy dropped suddenly and disappeared under Logan’s bed.

 “Uh,” Thomas said, confused and shocked and still a bit in pain from seeing that piece of jewelry in use. He crossed slowly over to the bed and bent down to look under it, moving the bed skirt slightly to the side. He saw a small shaking blob curled up into itself under the bed. “Um, hi,” he said softly.

The blob did not respond except to continue shaking.

Thomas frowned and settled himself onto the floor. “It’s okay,” he said softly. Had he been here stealing things? Thomas had to wonder as he wasn’t sure why someone here for legitimate reasons would be acting so terrified of being caught. Though, that posed the question of how he’d gotten past the guards, and why Logan hadn’t noticed him. “I’m not mad,” Thomas said. “You’re fine.”

The boy looked up briefly from his knees looking terrified. Thomas tried to smile at him gently, but that just made him hunch into himself more, his breathes coming faster. That wasn’t good.

“No, shh,” Thomas said softly. “It’s okay. I promise it’s okay.” He did not seem to believe him, and Thomas winced. What was he supposed to do? He couldn’t just leave him here but trying to talk him down himself didn’t seem to be working.

Luckily, a familiar voice spoke from behind him then. “Dad?” Logan asked.

Thomas looked back at him. Both Logan and Patton were standing at the door, a couple of pieces of jewelry in their hands. They seemed very surprised to see him.

“You… seem to have a guest,” Thomas informed them.

 “I…” Logan said, beginning to edge into the room like he was expecting something to blow up at any moment. “Yes.” He got to Thomas and squeezed himself between him and the bed, putting a physical barrier between Thomas and the boy. Confused, Thomas took a couple of steps away without challenge. “That,” Logan glanced behind him. Patton had moved to the opposite side of the bed from Logan and Thomas and had gotten to his knees to look under it. “That is Virgil.”

Thomas blinked at him. “Virgil?” he asked.

“He’s… new to the castle,” Logan explained. Patton started speaking softly the boy, but Thomas could not make anything he said out. “Patton and I… invited him to a sleepover.”

“The guards didn’t mention anything,” Thomas said, sure that they would have warned him if there was a stranger in the royal wing.

“Uh, well, Virgil is… shy and we didn’t think you’d be back for another week. So, we snuck him past them.”

“Shy?” Thomas asked doubtfully. That was a lot more than shy.

“Particularly of adults,” Logan said.

Thomas took a moment to let that sink in. “Oh.” He was… scared of adults. Thomas could imagine many reasons why that might be the case and none of them set well. “I see.”

“Hey, no, sweetie, stop that,” Patton said, sounding distressed. Patton had managed to draw Virgil out from underneath the bed, though they were both still mostly hidden behind it and Thomas had no question in his mind that if he went to step towards them, Virgil would be back underneath it in a moment. Currently the boy seemed to be clawing at his own head. “No, baby shh,” Patton said, trying to stop him from tearing the pinned in hairpiece out, Thomas realized. “I’ll get it out,” Patton promised him. “Just calm down and let me do it.” He sounded close to tears, and Thomas couldn’t particularly blame him with the way the boy was acting. “You’re hurting yourself, baby.”

He must know, Thomas realized. If Logan had known he was here, then he must have allowed him to use that hairpiece. He’d probably even told Virgil that it belonged to his dead father. Now he was probably terrified that Thomas would be mad at him for touching it, especially when he’d come in to find Virgil alone without Logan to explain.

Patton managed to get all the pins undone and placed the piece delicately on the bed before wrapping himself protectively around the boy and hushing him.

Logan was looking back at them as well. He looked between the puddle of upset on the floor and Thomas. “Could…” he said. “Could I maybe come and see you in a few minutes, Dad?”

“Of course,” Thomas said. “Of course, I’ll go wait in my room. Take as much time as you need.”

He was careful to move slowly as he stepped towards the door, so the poor thing didn’t notice him move and mistake it for him approaching. He closed Logan’s bedroom door softly behind him feeling even more drained than he’d been before as well as anxious and a bit sickened. He went to his own bedroom to wait for Logan.

  Chapter 20

Logan let out a slow breath as his father closed the door behind him. That could have been very, very bad. He turned his attention to Virgil and Patton. Patton had curled himself around Virgil as much as physically possible and had tucked the boy’s head under his chin.

Logan slowly rounded the bed and knelt in front of them. “It’s alright,” Logan said, cautiously moving to put a hand on his shoulder. Virgil didn’t pull away. “I asked him to leave. It’s alright.”

Virgil tilted his head slightly too look at him. Logan rubbed a circle into his back as he slowly got control of his breath.

 Logan smiled softly at him and reached out to touch his cheek with a gentle hand. “You… didn’t hurt him. You didn’t even try to hurt him.”

Virgil shook his head.

“Why not?” Logan asked curiously. “It was a perfect opportunity.”

“Promised Patton,” Virgil mumbled, and the idea that perhaps the thing that had saved his father’s life was a pinky promise just about gave Logan a migraine, but then Virgil ducked his head. “And it would make you sad.”

“I see,” Logan said, heart in his throat.

Virgil kept looking towards the floor, his eyes starting to fill with tears again. “Are you going to turn me in now?”

 He was shaking and barely holding back a fresh wave of tears. Logan knew of course that no one would hurt him here if he turned him in to his father and the guards, but he also knew that Virgil would be terrified if he did so. He was already terrified. Logan didn’t want to know what he thought the fate Logan would be condemning him to.

“No,” Logan said before he could even truly think it through. “No, I’m not.”

“You’re not?” Virgil asked.

“Well, there wouldn’t really be a point, would there?” Logan asked. “The reason we planned to turn you when father got back in is because you posed a danger to him, but you have just demonstrated that is no longer an issue.”

 “Really?” Virgil asked, sniffling a bit and Logan saw Patton’s arms tighten even more around him.

“We will have to figure out a better cover for you than just that you’re new to the castle, but I believe it will work fine. No one besides the two of us would ever guess your origin anyway.”

“S-so I can stay?” Virgil asked, “and you won’t throw me into prison or execute me?”

“I promise you were never going to be executed Virgil,” Logan said. “Even if we turned you in, but yes you can stay with us. We’ll figure out a backstory for you that doesn’t involve assassinations and you’ll have to keep up the lie, but I doubt anyone will question it.”

 “I’ll do whatever you want,” Virgil said, chocked up. “Thank you. I really didn’t want to go.”

“Well, you’re our friend now so there will be no going anywhere,” Patton said kissing him on the cheek. Virgil relaxed back into his hold, pleased with the affection.

Logan smiled at them both. “Can I see your wrists, Virgil?”

Virgil blinked but offered them and Logan tapped the restraints doing a quick incantation. They popped off after a moment.

“You’re letting me go?” Virgil asked, eyes wide.

“Of course,” Logan said. “We’re not just going to keep you prisoner for no reason.”

 “That’s…” Virgil said, eyes watering as he clearly was trying not to cry. “You’re the best people I’ve ever met.”

“I wish that was not so clearly the case,” Logan replied. He slowly reach up and set a hand on his shoulder. “I’m going to go speak with my father. Patton will stay with you.”

“Okay,” Virgil agreed, seeming a bit hesitant.

Logan smiled softly and leaned forward to gently touch their foreheads together. “I will be right back,” he assured. “We will finish our slumber party, though perhaps we will table the rest of the dress up activity for another night.”

 He stood then, leaving Virgil in Patton’s capable hands to exit his own bedroom and cross the hallway to his father’s. He took a brief moment to compose himself before knocking on the door.

“Come in,” his father called.

Logan opened the door to see his father sitting on one of the armchairs in his room. Despite the almost disaster that had taken place a few minutes ago, Logan found himself smiling at the man. It was nice to have him home.

“Sorry about that,” Father said.

“It was more my fault than yours. If I knew there was a risk of you coming home today, I wouldn’t have left him alone.”

 “Is he alright?”

“I believe so,” Logan answered. “Patton is with him and will certainly smooth out any lingering distress.”

“Good,” his dad said. “That’s good.” There was a pause and then he gestured at the seat beside his.

Logan settled himself down on it. “How was your trip?” he asked. “You’re back a week early.”

“Yes,” Father said. “The trip went better and worse than anticipated.

“How so?” asked Logan curiously.

“Well,” Dad said. “The purpose of the trip was to convince the new queen of Lamir, Cecil not to ally with Mocnejsi, but by the time I’d arrived there wasn’t really a risk of that.”

 “Why not?”

“After investigation, it turned out that Cecil’s mother had been poisoned by an assassin from Mocnejsi.”

“Oh,” Logan said, mind already racing.

“They figured out that one of the young women who had been hired on in the kitchen for the winter had done it, and had learned her origin when they questioned her,” Dad informed him. “Considering Cecil was immediately approached for an alliance with Mocnejsi, their aim was likely to manipulate her going forward because of how young she is. Luckily, Cecil is a smart girl and has the help of her mother’s advisor as well as her own. By the time I got there, my only real role was to extend my condolences and reaffirm out alliance. I would have stayed longer, but the possibility that Mocnejsi may think to attack us in a similar way hastened me home.”

 “That…” Logan said. “That is wise. I assume you are going to institute more security.”

“I am, yes,” Dad replied. “I would like your input on plans in the coming day.”

“Of course,” Logan agreed.

Dad smiled at him, “But for now,” he said, “I think it’s time you get back to your slumber party and I get to finally go to sleep.”

Logan nodded and got to his feet. He leaned over to hug his father perhaps a bit longer and harder than was strictly necessary, but Dad did not seem to mind at all. “Goodnight,” Logan said.

“Goodnight, son.”

  Chapter 21

Virgil woke with something soft but kind of stringy in his face. That was weird. He didn’t know what in the closet would feel like that. In fact, as he woke more he noticed more things that he couldn’t sus out the origin of, particularly the warmth curled up against his side. Curious, he blinked open his eyes. Oh, right. Patton.

The soft stuff in his face was Patton’s hair and the warmth next to Virgil was the rest of the boy’s body. Patton had all but refused to let Virgil go last night after Logan had taken off the restraints and Virgil hadn’t minded the attention. They must have fallen asleep together in the piles of pillows and blankets on the floor.

 Virgil brushed his hair gently away, internally (for fear of disturbing him) shaking his head at him. He’d fallen asleep hallway on top of an assassin. He had no self-preservation instincts. He looked at his wrists. It seemed no one had any self-preservation instincts. This of course, included himself as instead of running off when free in case they decided to turn him in after all, he had fallen asleep on the floor with Patton too.

He looked to the side and saw Logan was already awake, reading on one of his chairs. He seemed to sense Virgil’s eyes on him because he looked up after a moment.

 “You can get up if you like,” Logan said. “He is a heavy sleeper and won’t wake up if you squirm out of his grip.”

Virgil frowned, unsure if he wanted to risk it.

“I have breakfast ready for you.”

Okay, Virgil was going to risk it.

He carefully squirmed out of Patton’s grip, leaning down to press a kiss to his forehead in apology for leaving him before getting to his feet.

Logan handed him a plate of eggs and toast when he walked over and gestured to the chair next to him. Virgil sat there to eat while Logan continued to read.

 Virgil ate his food quickly, and then glanced over at Logan once he was done. Virgil was honestly at a bit of a loss. Usually, they came and got him out of the closet only once they were ready to do something, but Patton was still sound asleep on the floor and Logan looked engrossed in his book.

Virgil fidgeted slightly, unsure what he should be doing or even if he should be doing anything. Considering Logan hadn’t given him any instructions, he should probably not do anything. He didn’t want to screw up the first day of… whatever this was now.

 Logan glanced over at him after a few minutes. “Don’t forget about the potion,” he reminded.

Virgil nodded and stood, walking over to the closet since it would still be in there from the previous morning. It was about half gone now and it had gotten to the point where Virgil didn’t feel any immediate affects from it anymore other than some warmth. It basically just felt like drinking tea.

He said as much to Logan when he walked back over to him.

“That’s good,” Logan said, “it means it has been working. It has healed any damage it can from malnutrition. Any internal organs that were damaged should be mostly healed. You may even notice your eyesight getting slightly better. Your immune system should also be boosted. You will likely also find it is easier to gain muscle and while you likely will never be as tall as you could have been, you will likely still grow a few inches during your next growth spirt.”

 Virgil studied his hands where they were sitting on his thigh now as though he could see the changes that allegedly had already taken place in his body. “Thank you,” he said quietly.

“Of course,” Logan replied, eyes already back on his book like it was some normal thing and not a huge kindness he’d bestowed on Virgil before even really knowing him. As though Virgil didn’t just owe him more than just his life going forward.

They sat in silence then for a few more minutes, before the was a soft sigh from the floor and Patton started to wake. He sat up and looked around. His eyes landed on both Virgil and Logan sitting together and he seemed to light up.

 “Good morning!” he chirped.

“Good morning, Patton,” Logan said as Patton popped to his feet, “I have breakfast for you.”

“Thank you Lo,” Patton said, throwing his arms around Logan’s neck, and giving him a kiss on the cheek. Virgil presumed from the lack of surprise on Logan’s face that this was normal for morning Patton, not that the fact surprised him considering how night Patton acted.

He still managed to be somewhat surprised by the fact that Patton turned to hug Virgil a second later. Patton’s lips were pressed briefly to Virgil’s head and then he turned to grab the plate Logan had saved for him.

 “So, what are we doing today?” Patton asked.

“I was thinking Virgil and I could continue our reading lessons if he is not opposed,” Logan said. Virgil nodded, happy with that prospect. “Other than that, I have no plans. I have already spoken with my father before the two of you woke. He is going to spend most of his day catching up on things he missed and said I could take the rest of the day off royal duties.”

“A whole day to relax then!” Patton said, happily chewing on his toast. “Reading sounds fun, but we should do something more active too.”

 Logan hummed. “We can show Virgil the courtyard after the reading lessons,” he said.

It took a moment for it to register, but then Virgil froze. “Wait,” he said. “We’re going outside?”

Logan raised an eyebrow at him. “Yes.”

“So, we’re leaving your room?”

“Are you alright with that?” Logan asked cautiously.

Virgil nodded quickly.

“Oh,” Patton said at his enthusiasm. “I guess you have been cooped up a while, haven’t you?” He smiled sadly and turned to Logan. “Maybe we can do reading lessons in the garden.”

“That would be satisfactory.”

“Great!” Patton said. He looked over at Virgil. “If we’re going out, we should probably put your hair up and get you in some clean clothes.”

 Logan nodded. “You finish eating, and I will help Virgil find something to wear.”

Logan found him an outfit, though it was a bit baggy on Virgil and the hem of the shirt went halfway to his knees. When Patton finished breakfast, he sat Virgil down and carefully worked a brush through his hair.

“Can I braid it?” Patton asked.

Virgil hummed his consent. Having his hair brushed and done up by another person was a lot more enjoyable than he’d anticipated. He’d liked it when Logan did it the night before, though he had to very firmly push away thoughts of where that led.

 “Okay!” Patton said after a few moments. “You look good. Ready to go?”

Virgil nodded and they both led him out into the hall. He paused before they got to the door. “What about the guards?” he asked hesitantly.

“I’ve already given them the same story as I did Dad,” Logan replied. “They know you’re here.”

Virgil still hesitated.

“It’s okay,” Patton promised. “Here, hold my hand?”

Virgil took the offered hand immediately, and Logan stepped in front of them both. Virgil felt himself relax a bit knowing the prince was between him and the guards.

They led him to the door.

 Logan greeted both of the guards at the door, and they said good morning back. Both of them glanced at Virgil curiously for a moment making him shrink into himself, but they quickly averted their gazes.

Patton pulled him past them without incident and soon they were in the small dining hall Virgil had passed through his first night here. He remembered how he’d snuck around at the edges of the room in the shadows with the aim to kill the king, but now he was being pulled through the middle with the prince having just wandered past the royal guards in broad daylight like it was nothing.

 It was so strange, and Virgil still couldn’t totally believe this was happening. The retraced his exact steps back down the spiral stairs near the kitchen and out of the door he and the nice gardener had came through. He could even see the shed he’d been hiding in from here. With a blink, he remembered they were going to the garden, and he wondered if he’d see the man again.

For now, he just looked around them as Logan and Patton led him past the garden shed towards an area with many trees. Orange and yellow leaves were starting to fall from many of the trees.

 They made a satisfying crunching sound under his feet as he was led to a tree. He had seen the group of trees when he’d first arrived here and had even thought about hiding amongst them instead of in the shed, but they’d seemed scary in the dark. They were pretty in the daylight, however, and Virgil found himself tilting his head to watch the branches sway in the slight wind.

Logan sat down under it and pulled out a book and some writing materials from the bag he’d brought. Virgil settled down next to him so they could both look at the book at the same time and Patton flopped down on the other side, immediately setting to work tying fancy knots in the yarn he’d brought with him. Patton shuffled slightly to the side so they bumped shoulders as Logan opened the book and started Virgil’s reading lesson.

  Chapter 22

Patton bit his lip to keep from laughing or awing. “Do you like the flower, Virgil?” he asked.

Virgil glanced up at him briefly and then his eyes returned to the flower he’d found. “It’s nice,” he said.

They’d finished the reading lessons and let Virgil explore the garden a bit. He’d found a dark purple and yellow flower (a pansy, Patton thought) and seemed to be endlessly fascinated by it. He’d been staring at it for minutes now, almost as though he expected it to do something. Patton did not quite understand his interest, but he was still adorable.

 Logan sat next to him and the flower, smiling at him softly. “I imagine you’ll enjoy the garden in the spring,” Logan said. “There are many more flowers then. Of all types. We’ll have to show you all of the best spots. Mr. Deknis has a particularly good eye for colors, and it is always quite beautiful.”

“Who is Mr. Deknis?” Virgil asked.

“He’s the head gardener,” Logan said. “He’s a nice man, though a bit prickly when it comes to his garden. We may see him today if he’s in this part of the garden.”

“Would he have been the multrum I saw in the gardening shed when I hid there?”

 “Ah, yes, that would be him. I was unaware you interacted with anyone in the castle.”

“He caught me in his garden shed, but he wasn’t mean,” Virgil said, he tilted his head curiously at Logan. “Why…” he trailed off.

“Yes?” Logan asked.

“Why is he the gardener?”

Logan looked confused, “Well,” he said, “I guess because he wants to and is good at it.”

“No,” Virgil said with a frown. “I mean. Shouldn’t he… he’s…”

Logan seemed to think hard for a moment. “Right,” he said. “You’ve been under a blood compulsion. I’d guess you would have only worked with multrums in the military.”

 “I guess I didn’t realize that they could be other things…”

“Of course, they can,” Logan said. “Their abilities don’t make them any less of people. Mr. Deknis likes to garden so he gardens.”

Virgil blinked at him.

“…Of course, all things considered, that may not be a familiar concept to you.” Virgil turned back to look at the flower instead of answering. “Right,” said Logan.

There were a couple of awkward beats of silence. Patton bit his lip and happened to glance up. “Oh,” he said. “Speaking of Mr. Deknis.” He gestured to the gardener who was coming up the path between the trees.

 Logan sat up on his knees as Patton waved at him. He saw Patton and turned to walk towards them. “The two of you had better not be up to mischief in my garden,” Mr. Deknis called, his voice a bit gruff. He clearly did not see Virgil who had laid flat on his stomach to stare at the flower.

Logan rolled his eyes automatically. “We were just reading Mr. Deknis,” he said. “Your piles of dirt are safe.”

“No mud cakes?” Mr. Deknis asked skeptically still coming towards them.

“It has been a literal decade…”

Patton saw when Mr. Deknis was close enough to see Virgil.

 He stopped in his track and looked down at Virgil who was already watching him a bit warily. “Hello,” he said, his voice a lot softer than it’d been a few moments before. His expression completely flipped in a moment to something very gentle when he saw Virgil and the cautious look on his face. Virgil did seem to have that effect on people.

“Hi,” Virgil replied.

Mr. Deknis looked at Logan and then at Patton and then back at Virgil. “This is our new friend, Virgil,” Patton offered.

“Hello, Virgil,” Mr. Deknis said with a nod.

“Virgil, this is the gardener Mr. Deknis.”

 “He’s not nearly as grumpy as he sounds,” Patton assured.

“Well,” Logan said, “yes he is.”

Mr. Deknis shot him a look that only served to prove Logan’s point if Patton was being honest. Logan just smiled back. Mr. Deknis apparently decided to let it slide because he turned back to Virgil.

“It’s good to see you again,” Mr. Deknis said. “Are you feeling better?”

Virgil nodded. “I’m a lot better,” he said. Mr. Deknis considered him for a moment, clearly reading how true that statement was. Patton was glad he seemed satisfied with the answer.

“I see you’ve met these two.”

 “Yeah,” Virgil said.

Mr. Deknis smiled slightly. “Be careful with this one,” he said, pointing to Logan. “He’s a bad influence.”

Virgil frowned in confusion. “He’s the prince,” he pointed out.

“And a bad influence,” Mr. Deknis repeated. “He’s a beacon of irresponsibility and mischief and he corrupts that one,” he nodded to Patton.

“I am completely responsible,” Logan replied.

“Need I remind you of the cucumber incident.”

“I was 8,” Logan said.

“I know how old you were,” Mr. Deknis replied, “and you are hardly any older.”

“I resent that.”

Mr. Deknis just smiled and turned back to Virgil who was watching the interaction with pure curiosity.

 “I just picked a few more of those apples for Patton’s mom to make into apple sauce. Would you kids like some?”

Virgil glanced over at Logan and Patton.

“That would be nice, thank you,” Patton replied for them all, standing up. Seeing that, Virgil also climbed to his feet.

“It’s back this way,” Mr. Deknis said, inclining hid head back the way he’d came and then turning to lead them that way. Patton followed him. He glanced back to see Logan put his hand on Virgil’s shoulder and give him a gentle push to get him going. “So, what are you kids up to today?”

 “We wanted to show Virgil the garden and courtyard,” Patton said. “He’s been cooped up inside for a bit.”

“I see,” Mr. Deknis said. He glanced back at Virgil. “Feel free to come out in the garden anytime you like. As long as you don’t go about purposefully destroying stuff, I don’t mind you being out here.”

“I won’t destroy anything,” Virgil promised instantly.

“Well I hope you manage to keep that attitude even while befriending the large upright groundhog behind you.”

Virgil looked a little bit nervous. “He’s just teasing Virgil,” Patton assured. “He loves Logan.”

Mr. Deknis glanced back again and seemed to read the same thing Patton had read on Virgil’s face.

 “Yes, of course,” Mr. Deknis said. “I have simply known the prince for a long time and joke with him in that way often. Logan is aware of that.”

“Indeed,” Logan agreed, his hand squeezing a bit on Virgil’s shoulder. Virgil relaxed a touch.

Mr. Deknis stopped and reached down into a bucket next to a tree. “I wouldn’t offer my apples to people I don’t like,” he said, tossing an apple underhand to Logan. Instead of trying to catch it, his eyes widened and he dodged out of the way.

“You would however throw apples at them despite knowing they have never been able to catch things.”

 Mr. Deknis just rolled his eyes fondly, but Virgil frowned and turned to Logan. “You don’t know how to catch things?” he asked scandalized. “You should know how to catch things. What if someone throws a knife at you?”

Mr. Deknis looked… probably the right amount of concerned about that statement coming from a 14-year-old’s lips.

“Haha, yeah,” Patton said awkwardly. “Maybe you can teach Logan how to catch things Virgil, but later. Right now, why don’t we just get the apples and then show you the courtyard.”

Virgil was still frowning, but he did not argue with Patton’s suggestion.

 Thankfully, Mr. Deknis did not push, though Patton did have to dodge many a meaningful side eye. He might… need to make sure he did not get cornered by the gardener in the coming days… or brush up on his lying without lying skills.

For now, though, he just handed out the apples, not tossing them this time. Virgil thanked him softly and Patton could see the way the usually fairly gruff man went all melty at that. He even slipped an extra apple to Virgil for later which Virgil perked up at.

Patton and Logan pulled him away gently after that so Mr. Deknis could go back to work, but Virgil seemed happy with the apples and copied Patton at waving goodbye to him cheerfully.

Despite the fact that he liked Mr. Deknis and he’d been nice, Patton still took a calming breath when they were no longer at risk of lying about something and getting caught by the man’s powers. They went back into the castle towards the courtyard.

  Chapter 23

Logan was unsurprised that after showing Virgil the large courtyard, Patton almost immediately decided to instigate a game of tag. They were, after all, here with the goal of getting Virgil a bit active after having had him only in Logan’s room for weeks.

He was also unsurprised that Virgil seemed confused about the concept of tag, and Patton had to explain the game in detail to him.

It made him wince, but he still was unsurprised when Virgil went about inquiring after the consequences of losing the game.

He was, however, very surprised when, after getting all of the facts about tag settle, Patton was chasing after Virgil trying to tag him and suddenly the boy disappeared.

 Patton almost ran into a wall in his confusion. He stared at his hands stretched out and just a couple of inches from touching the wall for a moment, before slowly looking up.

“Virgil!” Patton exclaimed. “What?”

“What?” he asked.

“…What are you even hanging onto?”

“The wall,” Virgil replied.

Logan walked closer to the two of them and tilted his head up to look at him. Virgil had jumped up and somehow managed to find hand and foot holes on the seemingly smooth wall. He climbed about 5 meters above their heads and was peering down at them curiously.

 “Okay,” Logan said. “New rule. Virgil is not allowed to scale walls during tag.”

Virgil frowned down at him. “Why only me?”

“Because Patton and I cannot do that anyway,” Logan said. “We would not be able to actually play if you remain up there.”

Patton glanced over at him and reached over to touch Logan’s shoulder. “No tag backs,” he said. Logan glared at him. “Why don’t you come down sweetie?”

“But Logan will tag me,” he said.

“Well, honey, that’s part of the fun,” Patton reasoned. “Don’t you want to try being it?”

Virgil seemed to consider this for a long moment. “Okay,” he agreed.

 To Logan’s terror, he simply let go of the wall, falling straight down and landing crouched. He blinked at Logan. Right. With a start, Patton took off, so he’d have a head start. “No tag backs means a 10 second head start for me,” Logan reminded. Virgil nodded, and Logan reached out to poke him in the arm before immediately running off in the opposite direction as Patton.

Logan’s strategy worked out since, knowing he couldn’t go after Logan for a few seconds more, he chose to turn and go after Patton. After finding one of the statues to hide behind on the edge of the courtyard, Logan risked glancing back.

 Virgil was faster than Logan (and likely Patton) had accounted for. Patton had gotten a good head start on him, but Virgil closed it quickly. Patton shrieked as Virgil barreled into him, bringing them both to the ground.

“Virgil!” Logan heard Patton giggle. Logan figured he was more than okay despite the tackle. “This isn’t how you play tag!”

“I combined tag and tackle hugs,” Virgil declared, making Patton giggle more.

“That’s very innovative, honey,” Patton said. “Now are you going to let me up?...Virgil… I’m counting down your 10 second head start in my head, and if you don’t let me up I’m going to tag you again.”

 This did not seem to have the intended effect as Virgil did not remove himself from Patton’s person. Patton laugh when it became clear he was not going to move and began counting down “7, 6, 5, 4, you’d better let me go sweetie, or you’re going to get tagged again.” Virgil did not seem to care. “3, 2, 1.” Patton reached up and bopped him on the nose. “Tag!” he declared.

Logan was surprised when Virgil instantly jumped off Patton at that. He whipped around.

‘Oh,’ Logan thought as the boy’s eyes narrowed in on Logan immediately, ‘I see.’

 “Virgil was already halfway across the courtyard towards him before Logan could even think about running away. There was no way that he was fast enough to outrun him. Perhaps he could outthink him, he thought. His eyes scanned his environment in the seconds he had left and landed on a large square piece of stone that held flowers in the spring. It was just full of dirt now, but it was still about waist high. Perhaps if he kept that between them, he could outmaneuver him. He sprinted towards it and scrambled to the opposite side from where Virgil was heading.

 He really should not have been as surprised as he was that Virgil did not even slightly slow as he approached the planter box, instead grabbing ahold of the side of it and vaulting over it. Logan stumbled back, bracing for impact, but instead he just got a quick tap on the shoulder.

Logan blinked at him.

“I don’t know if you would be okay with tackle hugs,” he explained.

Logan considered him. “I would be okay with a nontackle hug.”

Virgil happily jumped forward to hug Logan, pressing his nose into Logan’s shoulder. Logan chuckled and patted the top of his head. “Six,” he said, “5, 4, 3…”

 Virgil bolted away suddenly, actually making Logan stumble a bit. He paused just out of reach of Logan, looking at him with anticipation. “2,1,” Logan finished with a raised eyebrow. He already knew he was being played with, but he indulged him by starting towards him. Virgil danced out of the way, eyes alight. Logan sighed. “Is this truly how it’s going to be?” he asked.

Virgil didn’t answer, but to watch him with wide, excited eyes.

“Fine,” Logan said. He dashed towards him again, only to have him continue to maneuver just out of Logan’s reach each time Logan went forward. He’d call it taunting if there was any sign of malice in it.

 They ran around the courtyard in spirts of Logan charging at him and Virgil expertly dodging. Eventually Patton came closer to them. Logan could tell that Virgil was aware of his presence, by how he glanced back at him briefly, but considering he was not ‘it,’ it seemed he chose to disregard him. However, he was not aware of the way Patton winked at Logan as he walked up behind Virgil.

Logan, on the other hand, knew exactly what was happening. He went to spring for Virgil again, and Virgil again moved to dodge, but this time Patton grabbed him around the waist, allowing Logan to actually tag him.

 He turned slowly to face Patton who started to giggle immediately at the perplexed look on his face. It cleared into something else as soon as he heard Patton laugh. “Traitor!” he claimed. “We were on the same team and you betrayed me.”

“I just thought we should probably have mercy on poor Logan,” Patton replied.

“Hmm,” Virgil said, eyes again full of that playful mischief Logan had not seen until today. “Plea for mercy not accepted.”

Patton once again half-shrieked half-laughed as he was pounced on. The two of them went rolling across the grass, Virgil clearly keeping the rolling going longer than it should have as they made it a good few meters.

 Virgil sprung off of him a few moments later.

“Oh, is it my turn?” Patton inquired with a huge smile. He slowly got to his feet. “Hmm, I’m probably at about 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!” He took off after Virgil, but Patton had a bit more endurance than Logan, so instead of doing quickly calculated lunges at Virgil as Logan had done, he just ran at him full tilt without stopping.

Virgil ran from him, though Logan was pretty sure he was intentionally slowing himself down a bit so Patton had some amount of a chance. He kept turning to check behind him and make sure Patton was still somewhat close as he ran.

Which is why he didn’t see the imminent disaster in time.

  Chapter 24

Thomas should have been paying more attention, but his mind had been on the meeting he’d just had with the castle guards about increased security in the wake of the possible threat from Mocnejsi. He’d decided to take a brief walk around the courtyard to clear his head but was still distracted with mulling over the options that had just been presented to him. He stepped into the castle courtyard and did not have time to step out of the way of the much smaller body rocketing towards him. Virgil slammed into his front, but not before Thomas got a good look at his face.

 Virgil’s expression changed dramatically in the few seconds between him registering Thomas was there and running into him. For the briefest moment, Thomas could see that he must have been having a lot of fun. He’d caught the wide smile and sparkling eyes as Virgil turned his head back from looking at Patton who was chasing him across the greenery. He’d looked very happy which made it all the more painful to see that happiness die in and a few instants. When his head had turned back towards Thomas, there was a flicker of confusion at something being in his path.

 Then, clearly everything about the situation registered, because his eyes blew wide in horror as he tried to stop himself, but there was no way he’d be able to in time. Thomas saw that fact register on his face the moment before he hit. Gone was any trace of happiness or joy in that split second. All that was left was dread that had no place anywhere near a children’s game of tag. It was the expression Thomas would expect from someone who felt ice give way under their feet in the middle of a lake they had thought was frozen solid.

 He hit hard, but he wasn’t nearly big enough to actually harm Thomas. Thomas was thrown slightly off balance but managed to stay on his feet. He reached out a hand to his shoulder automatically to steady the child. There was a moment of pseudo calm where they both absorbed the impact and stilled.

Then, the boy’s shoulder slipped out of Thomas’s grip as he went crashing to the ground in a move that made Thomas wince for the state of his knees. Thomas couldn’t quite grasp what was happening for a moment as Virgil face planted onto the ground in front of him, but when he did, Thomas couldn’t help but flinch and take a step back from him.

 Thomas had been bowed to before, of course, seeing as he was a king, but this was not out of respect or courtesy or even just tradition. This was out of terror. He was begging for mercy and it made Thomas feel sick.

“I’m sorry,” he said, meek and shaky into the ground, and there was almost something worse about the fact that he did not beg for forgiveness with his words, but only his posture. The way his breathes came far too quick and shallow said he was likely on the verge of a panic attack, but he was not blubbering through apologies or even not speaking at all. He gave a clear, if shaky, apology, and waited for whatever he thought Thomas planned to do to him. There was no way that was not learned.

 “You don’t…” Thomas stuttered. “You don’t have to do that. It’s okay.”

“I’m sorry,” he said again, but he reacted in no other way. He did not even react when Patton made it to his side and knelt down next to him. Patton’s hand hovered over his back, clearly wanting to touch down, but he pulled back on that instinct.

“Virgil, honey,” he said softly. “It’s okay. No one is mad. It was an accident.”

Virgil did not react to this at all.

Thomas caught Logan’s eye as he hurried over to them himself. “Sorry,” Thomas mouthed. Logan just nodded and turned his attention to his friend.

 “There is no reason for any of that,” Logan said, his voice firm, almost clipped. “You are not in trouble. Now sit up.”

Virgil did respond to that, slowly shifting back on his knees. He kept his head down looking at the ground. “Sorry,” he said again.

“I…” Thomas said, surveying the three kids on the ground in front of him. Thomas slowly sunk to the ground to be at their level. Virgil was tracking his movements out of the corner of his eyes, his head still bowed and his shoulders tensed. “Hey,” Thomas said softly. “Were you three playing tag?”

 Virgil hesitated, eyes flickering as he debated whether he should respond or not.

“Yeah, we were,” Patton answered for him after a moment of stressful silence.

“Well that’s fun,” Thomas said. “I’m sorry for interrupting the three of you. I wasn’t watching where I was going.”

Virgil glanced up at him for just a moment before looking away again. Patton apparently felt it was safe enough to touch Virgil, because he settled a hand on the boys shoulder.

“Yeah, we’ve just been having a fun day,” Patton said, carefully matching Thomas’s light tone. “We went to the garden and did some reading. Then, Mr. Deknis gave us some apples.”

 “That’s nice,” Thomas replied. “He’s been talking about the new apples he’s been growing. He’s been working on them for years and they’re just beginning to bare fruit this year. I haven’t gotten a chance to try any yet. Are they any good?”

“They’re very good,” Patton told him. His hand rubbed slowly on Virgil’s back. “Isn’t that right, Virge?”

Virgil nodded a bit, a little less tense now, but still nowhere near calm.

“Well, I’ll have to try them soon,” Thomas said with a smile. “Thank you for the information. Now, I’ve got to get back to what I’m doing, but I hope you three have a good day.”

 “I’ll see you later, Dad,” Logan said.

Thomas nodded and pushed himself to his feet. “Goodbye you three,” he said before turning away towards the door back into the castle. He paused to take a breath when the door closed behind him, cutting off the courtyard. There were a lot of thoughts to shirt through in regards to that conversation. He hated that Virgil was so obviously terrified of him. Both of their two interactions had ended with the poor thing panicking on the ground. He wished he had some idea of how to help him or at least someone to talk to about it.

Maybe he’d go visit Mr. Deknis himself and not just for the apples.

  Chapter 25

“Alright,” Patton said, pressing a kiss to Virgil’s forehead. “I’ve got to go back to my room for the night. Will you two be okay?”

“We’ll be fine,” Logan said. “It won’t be particularly different than the last two weeks.”

Patton nodded and leaned to the side to squeeze Virgil in another hug. He’d been clingy since the incident in the courtyard, and Virgil had been appreciative considering he was still pretty shaky from it. He was still surprised he’d touched the king of Prijaznia (let alone ran into him) and lived to tell the tale.

“Goodnight, Pat,” Virgil said because he was pretty sure he wouldn’t leave if Virgil didn’t.

 “Night Virge,” Patton said with a smile before standing up from where they’d been sitting on the ground. He reached over to hug Logan who was sitting on a chair. “Night Lo! Put the book down and go to bed.”

Logan looked up from his book with a frown.

“It’s almost midnight,” Patton scolded.

Logan sighed and set his book down. “Very well,” he agreed. “We will get ready for bed.”

“You better! I’m going to come and wake you up early in the morning.”

“Early in the morning for you is 9am,” Logan scoffed.

Patton stuck his tongue out at him as he walked backwards out of the door.

 Logan gave his book a mournful look once the door closed and Virgil almost giggled. “I won’t tell on you,” he said.

Logan thought about it for a few moments. “No,” he finally said. “We should probably get some sleep.”

Virgil nodded and pushed himself to his feet.

“We should probably both take a bath after sitting in the dirt today,” Logan said. “Do you want to go first or should I?”

“Don’t care,” Virgil answered.

“You can go first,” Logan offered.

Virgil felt himself smile. “You just want to finish the chapter in that book,” he accused.

“Perhaps,” Logan conceded.

 Virgil just grinned and walked over to his closet to grab one of the outfits he’d been given for pajamas. He chose a pair of baggy shorts that went past his knees and the huge soft black sweater Logan had found in the back of his closet. He headed into the bathroom, noting Logan had already picked up his book again.

Logan may have declared the both of them dirty enough for bathing a few minutes before, but Virgil was cleaner than he thought he’d ever been before coming to the castle. Logan had taught him how to use the tub and what soaps to use for what a couple of days after he’d arrived and had suggested he clean himself regularly.

 Virgil didn’t mind. The tub was enchanted to warm the water inside of it and Virgil loved it. Though, that had the negative affect of making it very difficult to leave.

He cleaned himself up quickly, so he’d have a few minutes to just sit in the water before he felt like he needed to get out and let Logan have a turn. He changed into his pajamas, pulling the crescent shaped protection charm out of his day clothes pocket and storing the warm to the touch stone in the short pocket. He used the clip Patton had made it to pin it to the cloth to make sure he wouldn’t lose it.

 Logan was engrossed in his reading by the time that Virgil exited the bathroom. He did not look up as Virgil approached.

“Your turn,” Virgil said to him.

Logan clearly just barely managed to tear his eyes away from the book. “Right,” he said. “Yes.”

“The book will be there in the morning,” Virgil reminded.

“I know,” said Logan sadly as he set the book aside.

Logan never took much time in the bath, so Virgil quickly went about getting ready for bed the rest of the way. He put his day clothes in the basket Logan had for that purpose and started to straighten out the blankets and pillows in the closet.

 He heard Logan come back into the room a few minutes later.

“Virgil,” Logan said. “What are you doing?”

Virgil looked over at him. “Getting ready for bed,” he answered, confused.

Logan frowned at him. “You don’t sleep in the closet anymore,” Logan said. “That’s only for when we were worried you might escape.”

“Oh,” Virgil said blinking over at him. “Right.” He felt a slight pulling at his chest. He liked the closet. It was warm and soft. Patton had taken a lot of care with how he’d arranged all of the pillows and blankets. It was the best place he could ever remember having to sleep in his life. Yet, he did not argue. He knew getting to sleep out in the open was supposed to be a reward and he wasn’t about to reject it.

 Virgil stood and closed the closet. He tugged on the bottom of his sweater, stretching the fabric between his hands as he watched Logan pull down the covers of his bed and settle down onto it. Cautiously he walked over towards the bed. He wasn’t sure where he should lay down exactly. He dithered for a moment before bending down to sit on the floor near the right side of Logan’s bed and then laying down.

There was shuffling on the bed above him and then Logan’s head popped over the side to squint down at him. “On the bed Virgil,” he said.

 Virgil looked up at him in shock. “But it… I’m…” He trailed off and there were a few seconds of silence.

“It is just a bed Virgil,” Logan said.

But it wasn’t ‘just’ anything. Virgil was pretty sure touching the bed of a royal family member without permission would be considered a capital offence. At least, it would in Mocnejsi. Yet, Logan was expecting him to just… crawl into it?

“Please just get up here,” Logan said. Virgil’s caution at touching something he was definitely sure he should not be allowed to be touching wared with his resolve to repay his literal life debt to Logan by doing whatever he wanted.

 Feeling honestly a bit sick to his stomach, Virgil slowly pushed himself back to his feet. Logan scooted back over to the left side of the bed, and Virgil cautiously sat down on the empty side of the bed. After a second of hesitation he slowly laid down, his head hitting a soft fluffy pillow. He jumped when Logan flopped the covers on top of both of them.

Virgil took a long moment to absorb the situation while Logan took off his glasses and reached over to turn off the light next to him. He’d never slept in a bed before, or if he had he’d been too young to remember. In the orphanage there was a lack of actual beds due to overcrowding and there had always been someone bigger and stronger that Virgil didn’t dare fight for the use of them. During training, none of the kids had a bed. Only a few of the higher ups had ones at the more permanent training sites. There were very few situations where any of the assassins, at least a Virgil’s level, would be allowed to touch a real bed.

 The light switched off, plunging them into darkness.

“Is this…?” Virgil said, eyes still pointed towards the ceiling even though his eyes had not adjusted to the darkness enough to be able to see it. “Do you want… things?”

“Things?” Logan asked.

Virgil did not move his head, but he did reach over and put his hand slightly above Logan’s knee. Logan didn’t move, so Virgil slid his hand up.

Virgil’s wrist was grabbed immediately and pulled firmly away from Logan’s inner thigh. He did not let go afterwards, his fingers squeezing hard, but not quite painfully. “Never,” Logan said, his voice harsher than it had ever been even on the day when Virgil was nothing more than an intruder with deadly intent. “Never offer anything like that to anyone ever again.”

 “I was just…”

“I know what you were doing,” Logan said, voice icy, “and it inadmissible. Never offer that again for anything. Do you understand me?”

“I... yes.”

“Promise me.”

Virgil took a short moment to think. “I promise,” he agreed.

“Good,” Logan said, releasing his hand. His voice got softer too. “Good.”

They were silent for a long time after that, though Virgil had no delusions that Logan had fallen asleep. He could almost feel the tension.

“Sorry,” Virgil finally said softly.

“It’s not something you should be apologizing for,” Logan replied. The bed moved as Logan shifted and a hand lightly touched the top of his head. “Just… never.”

 “Okay,” Virgil said. He shifted slightly after a moment until his head was in the crook of Logan’s arm. Logan brushed the hair out of his face with the hand that had been on his head.

“Goodnight Virgil,” Logan said.

“Goodnight,” Virgil responded. They were quiet after that, though Virgil was still awake for a while yet and Logan’s hand slowly stroked through his hair for a while. Eventually though, Virgil relaxed into mattress. He stuck his hand into his pocket and curled it around the charm in his pocket. The bed was nice, he thought. It was soft and warm… and safe. He finally fell asleep.

  Chapter 26

Patton did their new special knock on the door so Logan and Virgil would know it was just him and they didn’t need to hide the fact that Virgil was sleeping in the prince’s room. He didn’t wait for a response, however, and just shoved open the door. He was surprised to see that Logan was not already out of bed and wondered for a moment if he had broken his promise stayed up way too late reading like he was sometimes known to do. Yet, then, Logan spoke from the bed. “I’m awake,” he called.

Confused, Patton stepped into the room. Logan wasn’t one for lazing around in bed; usually he was out of bed the moment he woke.

 He stepped over to the bed and had to stifle a smile when he recognized the problem. Logan was awake, but Virgil was still sleeping, and he was half on top of Logan, his arms wrapped around him.

“Why don’t you just squirm out of his arms like you do me?” Patton asked, keeping his voice low.

“He isn’t like you,” Logan said. He did not bother to quiet himself at all.

“What do you mean?” Patton asked amused.

In answer, Logan started to move as though to squirm out of Virgil’s death grip on him. In response, Virgil made a pitiful mewling sound in his sleep that landed like a piercing blow straight to the heart. Logan stopped moving immediately and Virgil shifted to grip Logan tighter.

 “Aw!” Patton said.

“It’s not cute,” Logan insisted. “I’ve been stuck for hours and I have to pee.”

Patton chuckled. “Alright, alright, I’ll save you.” He rounded the bed to Virgil’s side and crawled up on it. “Virgil, honey,” he entreated softly. “I think it’s time for me to get cuddles so Lo can get up.” Patton softly touched Virgil’s shoulder and pulled at him gently. He reached forward to carefully pry Virgil’s arms off of Logan.

Virgil made a more confused than heartbreaking sound this time, turning towards Patton so Patton could wrap his arms around him. Logan managed to scoot towards the edge of the bed.

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Logan made it off the bed and dashed towards the bathroom as Virgil’s arms came around Patton and squeezed. Patton laughed and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. After a few moments, Virgil’s eyes started to flicker a bit.

“Good morning, honey,” Patton said softly. “Did you sleep good?”

He hummed sleepily. “Beds are nice,” he said. Patton felt a slight pang at that because it implied he didn’t get to sleep in beds very much, but he chose to shove that aside.

“They are,” Patton agreed. Virgil’s eyes started to close again. “Honey,” Patton laughed. “I think it’s time to wake up now.”

 Virgil made a sleepy whining sound, squeezing Patton tighter. “Don’t you want breakfast?” Patton asked. That question managed to make Virgil open his eyes again. “I was thinking we could go down to the kitchen to eat that way it’s nice and fresh and I can introduce you to Mama real quick.” He neglected to mention the fact that they really did not have a choice. Mr. Deknis had blabbed to Mama about Virgil, and worse, had apparently mentioned that Virgil was skinny. As soon as he’d gotten home yesterday, he’d been met with an already worked up Mama firmly insisting that she meet Virgil sometime today.

 He wasn’t going to tell Virgil that though, because he thought it might scare him away from both Mama and Mr. Deknis.

Virgil thought about the prospect of breakfast for a long moment. “Fine,” he agreed. “I’ll be awake.”

“Good,” Patton said. He reached up to bop him on the nose. Virgil narrowed his eyes and then bopped him back making Patton giggle. He sat up then, and Virgil let him. “Let’s get you something to wear and do your hair,” Patton suggested. Virgil nodded and reluctantly got out of bed, just as Logan returned to the room. “We’re going to go downstairs for breakfast,” Patton told Logan. “That way Virgil can meet my mom.” He gave Logan a significant look and Logan nodded once in understanding that this was not a choice.

 Logan and Virgil got dressed, and Patton did Virgil’s hair up nice, before Patton led them out of the royal wing. They went down the main staircase instead of the spiral staircase that went right to the kitchen, mostly because it would be very busy, and Patton thought they should probably eat in the main dining room anyway. He could feel Virgil getting more anxious as they entered the busier part of the castle, and he stuck close to either Patton or Logan from the time they hit the top of the steps all the way to the main dining room.

 There were a few people in the dining room already eating breakfast when they arrived. Virgil’s curiosity seemed to temporarily overwhelm his anxiety as he looked around the large hall and at all of the people there. Patton looked around trying to see it through his eyes. He’d been running around this place since he was little, so he never really thought about how big the room was or how grandly it was decorated, but Virgil was just seeing it for the first time. Patton smiled at him as he guided him to one of the seats. There was already muffins on the table so Patton grabbed one and plopped it in front of Virgil.

 Virgil frowned down at the muffin dubiously. “You just… keep food out in the open?” he asked.

Right.

“It’s fine, Virgil,” Patton promised. “No one here would have put anything in it.”

Virgil narrowed his eyes and looked around at the other occupants of the room suspiciously.

“Honestly,” Logan said. “No one even knew we would be down here for breakfast. Nobody would just put something in random people’s food for no reason.”

Virgil gave him a look like he’d just told him people could in fact breathe under water. Virgil was really from a… whole different world, wasn’t he?

 “It’s really fine,” Patton said. “Logan and I have eaten things on the table like this a lot.”

“I’m surprised your not dead yet,” Virgil said.

Logan rolled his eyes and reached for a muffin. Virgil slapped it out of his hand and onto the floor. “Really?” Logan asked.

Virgil narrowed his eyes at him. “No eating unsecured food!”

“Virgil,” Logan groaned.

“I bet you don’t even know what common poisons taste like.”

“No,” Logan said. “I don’t because I don’t worry about being poisoned on a daily basis!”

“You should!”

People were starting to look over at them. Patton shot an awkward smile at the woman a few chairs down.

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“Just don’t eat the muffins Logan,” Patton said under his breath.

“I do not understand why-”

“Because it’s stupid as he-”

“Shush,” Patton commanded out of the corner of his mouth, “people are watching, and Virgil is just a normal castle resident.”

That shut the both of them up at least.

“No muffins for now,” Patton said. “I assume it’s okay to eat the things they bring straight from the kitchen.”

Virgil looked a bit leery of this still, but he nodded.

“Good,” Patton said, “then we’ll just wait for that to get here and then everyone will be happy, right?”

Logan opened his mouth and Patton turned to glare at him.

“Right?”

 Logan closed his mouth, though clearly, he did not want to give in so easily. They’d be doubtlessly rehashing this conversation once they were alone again.

Patton caught sight of one of the kitchen workers he knew fairly well come out of the kitchen and deliver food to a group of people who were there before them. She caught sight of them and walked over likely to ask them what they wanted for breakfast. Patton watched out of the corner of his eye as Virgil tensed, eyeing her approach suspiciously and she slowed under his glare.

This was going to be a long breakfast.

  Chapter 27

After an, honestly quite aggravating, breakfast full of Virgil’s cognitive distortions about the likelihood of being poisoned, Logan was relieved to finally be able to leave the dining area. In consideration to those serving breakfast, Patton did not lead them through the door in the back of the dining room that went directly to the kitchen, and instead took them out of the room and down the hall to a different entrance. This one had a guard stationed across from it as, despite what Virgil may believe, the castle workers did consider the possibility that someone would want to sneak into the kitchen for nefarious purposes.

 Said guard, of course, saw nothing wrong with the prince and the head chef’s son entering the side door even with the bonus stranger. In fact, he may even have known Virgil could be coming through this door if Ms. Heart had mentioned him.

Though Virgil hadn’t managed to catch it, Logan knew enough about Patton’s mother that he’d surmised that she had insisted Patton bring the boy to meet her. It was bound to happen at some point anyway, Logan knew, and he wasn’t particularly worried. After all, this was Patton’s mother. Virgil himself didn’t even seem particularly concerned.

 Logan had seen him panic and, while he tugged a bit at the sweater he was wearing, the motion was not particularly fervent, so he was likely just slightly nervous.

Of course, that may be because he did not know Patton’s mother specifically wanted to meet him and just assumed that they were starting the necessary process of introducing him to castle residents with a low risk person.

When they entered the hallway, Logan could already hear the usual noises of the kitchen: the clattering of plates, the bubble of conversation, and the sound of Ms. Heart’s voice calling out instructions.

 He did see Virgil hesitate, but Logan couldn’t sus out why and Patton was already ahead of them and opening the door into the kitchen. It was fairly calm for the kitchen considering it was meal hours. Logan imagined that Patton had chosen the time between when the day guards ate breakfast before their shifts and the night guards after their shifts on purpose. There was still a bit of chaos as dishwashers attempted to catch up during the lull and a few orders were still being made, but overall the mood seemed, to Logan at least, to be light as Ms. Heart ordered her kitchen around.

 Yet, Virgil clearly did not see the situation the same way that Logan did. He froze when the kitchen door swung open and some of the workers turned to look at them. He took a step back, bumped into Logan, startled violently, realized it was Logan, and then side stepped to hide behind him. Logan looked back at him in confusion, but Virgil said nothing, proceeding to mutely peer over Logan’s shoulder.

Patton had moved over to greet his mother as she wiped her hands off on a rag. She glanced over at Virgil and Logan and Logan saw Virgil shrink back a bit.

 Logan could see Ms. Heart’s eyes soften as she tracked his movement. She turned to the woman next to her and said something before moving to remove her apron and hang it up in its designated area. Virgil’s hands clenched in the fabric of Logan’s shirt when she turned back to him.

“It’s fine, Virgil,” Logan told him, but Virgil didn’t seem to believe him. Luckily, Patton had turned back and seemed to realize something was amiss.

He stepped back over to them. “Hey, honey,” he said. A plate clattered in the kitchen and Virgil just about ripped Logan’s shirt.

 Patton frowned sympathetically. “Too loud?”

“Virgil,” Logan said. “You are digging your fingernails into my skin.” Patton shot Logan a glare. “What?”

“How about,” Patton’s mom suggested. Virgil’s fingernails dug more into Logan’s skin. “We go to my office.”

“I think that’s a good idea, Mama,” Patton said. “Come here, Virgil.” He reached over to touch one of Virgil’s hands and had to pull a bit to get him to release Logan. “It’s back that way, away from the kitchen,” he said when he managed to twine their fingers. He stepped around Logan, probably so there was still a buffer between Virgil and the kitchen and tugged him in the correct direction.

 Ms. Heart shot a glance at Logan and Logan felt irrationally like she was trying to read his thoughts. Logan smoothed his features out and turned to follow Patton and Virgil towards her office.

As head chef, Ms. Heart had a small office where she could plan menus without the hustle and bustle of the kitchen and have meeting with people who needed to discuss dietary needs and restrictions. It was very well organized, but still looked fairly messy because of the numbers of decorations she had in it. She had a tendency to keep everything that Patton made her, thus she had his childhood drawings on the wall and little projects stacked on her desk and on the shelves. A lumpy cat statue acted as a paperweight on a stack of papers on her desk and there was a vase of fake flowers (as it could not actually hold water) sat near the window.

 By the time Logan entered the room, Patton was trying to coax Virgil into sitting down on one of the two mismatched chairs, but Virgil was having none of it. He had turned to face the door and was yanking at his sweater in nervousness.

Logan noticed that Ms. Heart did not come far into the room, instead pausing near the door. She did, however close the door to give them privacy, and that seemed to distress Virgil more.

She seemed to contemplate him for a moment. “Hello,” she said, her voice softer than Logan was used to hearing. “You must be Virgil.”

 It seemed as though he were willing himself to magically shrink, but he still replied. “Yes, ma’am,” he said quietly.

“It’s nice to meet you,” she said. “I’m Patton’s mom.”

“I know, ma’am.”

“There’s no need to be formal, Virgil.”

He hesitated. “Okay,” he said somehow quieter.

Her eyebrows drew together in concern, and it seemed that she decided to result to her default way of making people more comfortable. “Would you kids like some candy?”

Logan saw Patton’s hand squeeze Virgil’s lightly. “That would be great, Mama.”

She nodded and walked forward towards her desk. Virgil turned so his back was never to her. If she noticed, she didn’t react. She just grabbed a small tin off one of her shelves and took the top off. “How about a peppermint candy?” she asked.

 She offered the tin out to them. Virgil stared at it like it was a venomous snake. Logan decided to act, stepping forward and taking three of the pieces of peppermint candy from the dish. He stepped over to Virgil and Patton and held out his hand, offering Virgil first choice out of all three.

He hesitated before glancing between Patton and his mother. He must have decided that Patton’s mom wouldn’t risk poisoning Patton and took one of the pieces. Patton took another one of them and popped it into his mouth. Logan ate the last piece.

“Thanks,” Virgil said to Ms. Heart before placing his piece in his mouth.

[tabloidtoc]

National Enquirer, March 15

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Tiger Woods' car crash

Page 2: Bruce Springsteen has beaten the DUI charges leveled against him after federal prosecutors couldn't find a drop of evidence he had been drinking over the legal limit -- with an acceptable blood alcohol level of 0.02 well below the 0.08 threshold at the time of his arrest in Sandy Hook, New Jersey, prosecutors backed off two of their charges for drunken and reckless driving -- the rocker did plead guilty to a third charge, admitting he had two small shots of tequila on federal parkland and for that, he was fines $500 plus $40 in court costs

Page 3: Patrick Dempsey's dreamy return to Grey's Anatomy was a big hit with fans but his well-received cameo left series star Ellen Pompeo seething with jealousy -- Ellen may have permitted Patrick to revisit his old stomping grounds in Meredith Grey's fever dreams in season 17 but she doesn't want him coming back permanently and swiping her hard-earned glory and she considers herself the anchor of the show and thought she was rid of this guy after making the show her own, but now fans are begging for him to be brought back and Ellen is furious -- it's no secret Ellen hated the first 10 years of the show when Patrick was the star and she feels the series got better after he left and she became a big-shot producer, something she'd been demanding for years -- she likes being in control and calling the shots and clearly thinks she got this deal on her merit alone but it's also because she's the star who's lasted the longest; most of the original cast had already left and bosses had to cave in to keep her -- unfortunately being in charge hasn't amounted to better ratings and show has been slipping consistently in recent years and the main reason they brought Patrick back on was to spike the ratings, which it did and now producers are considering offering Patrick a full-time gig but Ellen will do everything in her power to prevent Patrick from stealing her thunder again

Page 4: Home reno gurus Chip and Joanna Gaines are clashing over his wild spending, and she's desperate to rein him in before they land in the poorhouse -- Chip and Jo are rich on paper and worth $20 million in property and assets but they were hit hard by the pandemic like everyone else and recovery has been sluggish to say the least -- they're just getting back on their feet and under a ton of pressure to get their Magnolia network off to a running start but Chip, as usual, is casual when it comes to money and it frustrates Jo to see him buying things they don't need, like new tools and equipment when the old ones work just fine and overpaying on lumber and masonry -- Chip is always shopping and not always for the house; he's got a boot fetish and has dozens of pairs, plus he treats the crew to free cappuccino and treats from their coffeehouse several time a day and Chip wants the best of everything for himself and everyone else

* Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds are ready to welcome baby number four through adoption -- the couple who are parents of daughters James and Inez and Betty hope to find their next child in South America and they've invested time and money sponsoring immigrant children and they're warming up to the idea of providing an orphaned baby or toddler with a forever home -- a 16-year-old girl they sponsored through the Young Center for Immigrant Children's Rights was deported back to Honduras and they were heartbroken, and Blake and Ryan are now determined to provide a child with a happy home and opportunities he or she wouldn't have in their native country

Page 5: Newlyweds Pamela Anderson and Dan Hayhurst are itching to start a family and are already trying for a baby of their own -- 53-year-old Pam tied the knot with the 40-year-old handyman on Christmas Eve at her Vancouver Island home and she's been telling pals they hope to have happy news soon -- Pam wants to build a whole new clan with Dan and he's on board even though they each have kids with their exes and Dan's two kids from a previous relationship are living with the couple at Pam's pad -- the couple love the idea of adopting or going the surrogate route and it's not something they want to waste any time over

Page 6: Weary Kelly Clarkson is juggling her skyrocketing career and brutal divorce battle with estranged husband Brandon Blackstock on less than six hours sleep a night and Kelly has also been pushing to sell her homes in Nashville and Encino, while running her L.A.-based talk show and recording new music -- she's been running herself ragged for months and she's feeling the burn in a big way but despite her exhaustion, she can't sleep and nothing she tries works and the most shut-eye she catches is two, three hours at a time; she lays awake in bed at night worrying and crying

* Suddenly remorseful Kanye West has spiraled into depression and despair since soon-to-be ex-wife Kim Kardashian filed for divorce -- for all their problems, Kanye realizes she was the one person who was there for him whenever he went off the deep end and now he knows he's alone and seriously doubts he can hold his life together -- without Kim and her family to keep his wild impulses in check, he may succumb to the poor judgment and wild mood swings that have marked his chronic bipolar disorder as they were the ones who reminded him to take his meds and steer clear of recreational drugs and now all he has is a circle of yes-men he doesn't listen to anyway -- since the split, Kanye has shuttled between his ranch in Cody, Wyoming and a hotel in L.A. near the sprawling mansion he once shared with Kim and he's been blowing up her phone to beg forgiveness, but she won't take his calls and it's driving him off the deep end again

Page 7: Kourtney Kardashian is fed up with Shanna Moakler's online barbs and is plotting her revenge against the ex-wife of her new squeeze -- since Kourtney and Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker went public with their romance last month, former pageant queen Shanna has been throwing social media shade and Kourtney's tired of taking Shanna's crap and she's going to fire back soon and Kourtney's using her wide network of contacts in Hollywood to bad-mouth Shanna and she's placing calls to casting directors and perspective suitors to put as many potholes in her love rival's path as possible and she plans to make Shanna regret messing with her

Page 8: Nearly two years after Johnny Depp was forced to exit Disney's Pirates of the Caribbean franchise following ex-wife Amber Heard's allegations of abuse, the company has kicked him while he's down by considering her for a plum part -- Johnny is fuming over news that Amber is reportedly in contention to play fairy-tale heroine Rapunzel in the studio's upcoming live-action remake of Tangled -- for Amber to be in the running for a Disney pic is the ultimate insult to him especially because he believes the company made millions of dollars off his name

Page 9: Prince Harry and his wife Meghan Markle had a whopping $500 million motive to betray Queen Elizabeth -- outraged at being cut loose by the British royals, the couple retaliated by secretly negotiating backroom Hollywood megadeals and going public on TV -- Harry and Meghan see themselves as victims of an out-of-touch monarchy and want revenge and selling out Harry's family is the way to get it and cash in big-time; Meghan's convinced they'll have deals totaling $500 million by the end of the year but they better act fast because Hollywood is a fickle town where even royalty can be chewed up and spat out

Page 10: Hot Shots -- Amelia Hamlin stuck to the shore while pink-haired beau Scott Disick made waves in Miami, Steve Martin nibbled on a pretzel while filming Only Murders in the Building in NYC, Floyd Mayweather turned 44 and celebrated with a birthday bash in Miami, Bachelorette reject Tyler Cameron showed off his toned tummy in Florida

Page 11: Drew Barrymore feels deeply for dad-controlled Britney Spears because she's been there: she said her mom locked her away in a loony bin for over a year when she was just 13 -- Drew said it's hard to grow up in front of people and she empathizes with Britney and Paris Hilton and any star who can't escape the glare of celebrity -- Drew's mom put her in a place that was a full psychiatric ward and says she used to laugh at those Malibu 30-day places because she was in a place for a year and a half called Van Nuys Psychiatric and you couldn't mess around there and if you did, you would either get thrown in the padded room or put in stretcher restraints and tied up

* Eddie Murphy famously bragged he has never changed a diaper in his life despite having so many kids and now he's set on having another baby with fiancee Paige Butcher and this will make baby No. 11 for Eddie -- he says his genes are incredible as ever, so why stop; he's super fit and Paige is in amazing shape at age 41 and wants at least one more baby so they're going to go for it and are already trying

Page 12: Straight Shuter gossip column -- CNN could blitz news veteran Wolf Blitzer as the network revamps its lineup and TV is a young person's game and no one knows that better than Wolf and after 31 years at CNN, he sees new faces getting promoted and knows his days are numbered and Jim Acosta and Poppy Harlow are the future of CNN, not Wolf -- although Wolf's airtime has been cut as Jake Tapper's role expands, he isn't bitter or angry but instead he's grateful for an amazing run

* Love It or List It star Hilary Farr is moving on to her own show and leaving partner David Visentin in the dust -- Hilary's new show is basically the same one she and David have been doing for years, with him edited out and David was blindsided by the news and he knows HGTV has sent out a casting notice for the new show and he's hurt and angry especially because Love It or List It hasn't been renewed yet

* Sacked Dancing with the Stars host Tom Bergeron has reached out to Chris Harrison after he stepped away from The Bachelor amid a racist scandal -- Tom wasn't fired over a scandal, but he knows exactly what Chris is going through because both of them thought they had a job for life, but nothing lasts forever -- Tom is a good guy and wants Chris to know he's around if Chris needs anything

* Tom Felton, who played Draco Malfoy in the Harry Potter films, spruced up for the camera (picture)

Page 13: Brooke Shields isn't letting a busted leg keep her down but she's taking her recovery one step at a time -- she shared an Instagram video showing her cautiously hobbling on crutches and explained she broker her femur and she was beginning to mend -- she didn't reveal what caused the unlucky break

* Outspoken actress Rose McGowan is living a charmed life in Mexico and the Harvey Weinstein accuser has headed south of the border and vows never to return to the United States -- she got her permanent residency card from Mexico and is grateful to have it and says it's a really healing land and it is truly magical -- she moved at the dawn of the COVID-19 pandemic because she knew it was going to get really bad in America and she had a moment to figure out where she wanted to be

* Picky perfectionist Blake Shelton listens to around 300 songs to choose what to record for each of his albums, according to his longtime producer -- music pro Scott Hendricks said he wades through nearly 3000 tracks by professional songwriters to select tunes for Blake to consider and then Blake methodically whittles down the nominees until he's certain which songs he wants to record but Scott admitted that process is more difficult for him culling the 300 from the 3000 -- Scott, who has worked with Blake for most of his career, said of their close professional relationship that the chemistry works and they have recorded several hundred or more songs together and they are getting ready to go do some more

Page 14: Crime

Page 15: Killer kingpin Joaquin "El Chapo" Guzman's busted beauty queen bride will be marked for death behind bars -- if Emma Coronel Aispuro snitches to the feds about the bloodthirsty Mexican Sinaloa drug cartel long run by her caged husband, she'll put a big fat bulls-eye on her back -- according to a federal complaint, Coronel was intimately involved in her husband's multibillion-dollar drug-running racket and acted as his criminal agent while he was on the lam and the mother of El Chapo's two young daughters helped mastermind her spouse's daring 2015 tunnel escape from a Mexican prison and also paid him $100,000 for another failed bust-out a year later -- they are going to put the heat on her to spill more details on other top operatives in the cartel and take them down, too, but if she spills, it will be open season on her on the inside

Page 16: Dr. Dre appears to rap about estranged wife Nicole Young in a song filled with angry, explicit lyrics calling someone in his life a greedy bitch -- DJ Silk previewed part of a new track from Dre full of digs presumably at Nicole, with whom he has been locked in a nasty divorce -- his lyrics include: Trying to kill me with them lies and that perjury/ I see you trying to f--k me while I'm in surgery / In ICU death bed on some money s--t / Greedy bitch take a pic / Girl you know how money get

* Hollywood Hookups -- Lorenzo Lamas is set to wed for the sixth time to model Kenna Scott, Justin Hartley and Chrishell Stause are officially divorced, Adam Rippon is engaged to Jussi-Pekka Kajaala

Page 17: Former Home Improvement kid Zachery Ty Bryan has pleaded guilty to two felony counts of domestic violence -- Zachery, now 39, has been sentenced to three years of probation and will also have to take part in a batterer intervention program

* John Mayer has dated a succession of famous singers including Katy Perry, Taylor Swift and Halsey and he hopes they write chart-topping songs about him and admitted he'd be jazzed if his exes enshrined him in song, saying sometimes a song is so good he hopes it's about him and he even scours their lyrics for clues -- Taylor already has several tracks that have been linked to John including Dear John

* Ruthless chef Gordon Ramsay said he's cooked up his own plan to keep his kids humble -- he has five kids with wife Tana: Megan, twins Holly and Jack, Tilly and Oscar but said he plans to leave most of his reported $200 million fortune to charity -- Gordon explained his kids must tidy up after dinners, can only fly coach and are expected to learn how to cook for themselves and he's forbidden them from taking costly taxis and the foulmouthed foodie insisted they don't swear

Page 18: American Life

Page 19: Roseanne Barr was blindsided by a humiliating new scandal after risque photos from the early '90s recently emerged which appear to show her teenage daughters licking her boobs -- Roseanne posed for the shots with her two youngest girls at a Glamour Shots studio in Iowa more than 25 years ago and the photographer who claimed he snapped the fake lesbian lovefest but did not want to be named dished Roseanne and daughters Jessica and Jennifer who are now in their mid-40s happily hammed it up for the camera but decades later Roseanne and her daughters are all mortified and embarrassed by these pics; they were horsing around years ago and never thought they'd see the light of day

Page 20: Cover Story -- Still recovering from agonizing back surgery, Tiger Woods was pushing himself to the limit when he flew off a California cliff into a career-crushing car accident -- lawmen said the golf legend was lucky to be alive after the horrific wreck that shattered his right leg -- the accident only added to Tiger's physical problems; his movement has been restricted since a fifth back operation in December and he was unable to play golf despite an appearance at a local tournament the weekend before the bloody wreck -- at a press conference days before cheating death, Tiger admitted he was worried about his physical condition and his ability to play again, saying a lot of it is based on his surgeons and doctors and therapist and making sure he does it correctly and he doesn't have a lot of wiggle room left -- Tiger could barely move, and it seemed to get him down and his back rehab has been brutal and he was hobbling around and distraught but he refused to give into his condition and his tough-as-nails mindset could have contributed to the crash: when a person is overwhelmed by physical pain, that dominates everything they do and if you're behind the wheel of a car and in physical pain, it can distract you and likely lead to this kind of disaster -- Tiger was eager to get to a TV taping on the morning disaster struck and he seemed impatient when he left the Terranea Resort in Rancho Palos Verdes, an L.A. suburb, just after 7 a.m. and although traffic cameras show he was driving within the speed limit, his Genesis GV80 SUV crossed the center median onto the opposite side of the road and flipped -- authorities said Tiger appeared lucid to first responders and there were no signs the recovering addict was under the influence of alcohol or drugs and they did not request a blood test when Tiger was rushed to the hospital from the crash site and the incident was an accident -- Tiger was taken to nearby Harbor-UCLA Medical Center, where doctors said his broken bones protruded through his right leg and they put a rod in his leg and used screws and pins to stabilize the break and his ankle -- it will take three to four months to heal and then eight months of physical therapy and it is unlikely he will ever run again and he may have a limp and in terms of golf, just walking for extended periods of time will be a big deal and recovery will be agonizing; it's a very real possibility that Tiger's taken his final swing

Page 21: Addiction experts warned Tiger Woods' recovery will test his sobriety after his stint in rehab for prescription painkiller use and it is very, very common for a patient in recovery to relapse after a trauma like the one suffered by Tiger and exposure to painkillers administered directly or prescribed after a physical trauma is highly likely to trigger a relapse -- Tiger will probably need painkillers to get through this, but he'll also need to be connected with like-minded people to keep him away from his old thinking that pills are the solution to his problems

Page 22: Desperate Ghislaine Maxwell has offered to renounce her British and French citizenships in a new bid to get out of jail -- the disgraced socialite's last two stabs at freedom including one package offering $22.5 million as bond money were rejected by a judge who deemed her a flight risk -- now according to her lawyers, Ghislaine will formally commence the procedure to renounce her foreign citizenship to satisfy any concerns the court may have that she may try to seek a safe haven in France or the U.K. -- Justice Department officials were concerned Ghislaine would flee to France, where she was born, since the country has no extradition treaty with the U.S.

* Woody Allen claimed his own words are being used to attack him in the bombshell Allen v. Farrow documentary -- Woody has repeatedly denied adopted daughter Dylan Farrow's claims he sexually abused her when she was seven at her mom Mia Farrow's home -- Woody blasted the documentary which rehashes the claims as a shoddy hit piece and a hatched job riddled with falsehoods adding the filmmakers stole from his autobiography

Page 26: Twice-divorced Ricki Lake's engagement to California attorney Ross Burningham has insiders fearing she may suffer yet another heartbreak -- she announced her happy news on Instagram but Ricki has seen far more than her share of bad luck in the romance department and everyone is praying this final shot at love doesn't end in despair and it's never Ricki's fault, but she's never found a man who could keep her happy

Page 28: A lurid landscape of drug-fueled orgies, suicidal thoughts and fake sexual enthusiasm will play out in a new television series based on model and reality star Holly Madison's X-rated confessions from her shocking 2015 biography Down the Bunny Hole -- Madison first exposed the sleazy details of how she and other young women were plied with drugs and coerced to participate in sex parties with Playboy founder Hugh Hefner in exchange for acting as his girlfriends and getting to live inside the iconic L.A. mansion along with a weekly $1000 stipend -- the limited series will star actress Samara Weaving as Holly, who was a member of Hef's harem between 2001 and 2008 -- Holly, Kendra Wilkinson and Bridget Marquardt became the notorious stars of the reality show The Girls Next Door which debuted in 2005 and focused on their seemingly glamorous life with Hef but glossed over the dark secrets behind the scenes -- in her bombshell confessions, Holly revealed the 22-bedroom manor was actually a foul pigsty filled with stained mattresses where Hef's live-in ladies were forced to perform weird bedroom rituals and look excited by it

Page 29: Jack Osbourne has listed his sprawling California home for rent at $16,500 a month -- the 35-year-old son of Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne is offering the five-bedroom, 5600-square-foot home in Studio City unfurnished -- Sharon was recently seen outside the home with moving vans helping Jack prep the property -- Jack, who suffers from multiple sclerosis, bought the home in 2014 when he was married to Lisa Stelly; the couple divorced in 2018 and share three children: Andy, Pearl and Minnie

* Heidi Klum has snipped all threads tying her to dad Gunther Klum after the cosmetics and modeling honcho skipped her wedding -- Heidi dumped her manager dad after he snubbed her August 2019 ceremony in Capri with guitarist Tom Kaulitz of the band Tokio Hotel and she has also ended her German enterprise Heidi Klum GmbH, originally overseen by Gunther -- Heidi and her dad had a falling out over Tom and Gunther never really approved of him and was dead set against the marriage and it drove a wedge in their relationship

Page 32: Health Watch

* Ask the Vet -- an African Gray Parrot with a feather-picking problem

Page 34: Barack Obama broke a buddy's nose over a racist remark -- he revealed the two classmates were playing basketball when his friend hurled a racial slur and he popped him in the face and broke his nose, Obama told Bruce Springsteen on their podcast Renegades: Born in the USA -- Obama said he doesn't think his pal even knew what the word meant, just that it was meant to be hurtful

* Country singer Keith Urban has shrunk to 140 pounds as the former addict is hooked on a bizarre diet of nuts and berries and even worse, the five-foot-ten crooner appears to be growing thinner and friends are worried the stress of his demanding career and his desperate desire to be a good husband to Nicole Kidman may push him over the edge -- no one sees him eating much more than handfuls of raw almonds or sunflower seeds and berries washed down with gallons of water -- though he's been sober since 2006, pals fear the struggle to avoid giving in to temptation as well as hearing Nicole purportedly mended fences with ex-hubby Tom Cruise may be weighing on the star -- despite his bony appearance, Keith thinks he looks great

Page 40: Evil ISIS terrorists are using the COVID-19 pandemic as cover while they rebuild their network and mastermind new attacks and both Iraq and the U.S. are in their crosshairs -- because the West has been focused on dealing with the pandemic, ISIS and new groups sprung from their shattered forces have been reloading and plotting revenge, according to Ryan Mauro of the terrorist-monitoring Clarion Intelligence Network -- the pandemic has brought decreased confidence in Western governments, which has emboldened the terrorists to launch sleeper cell attacks on foreign soil

Page 42: Red Carpet -- Anya Taylor-Joy

[adamsvanrhijn]

it’s time for... the great big post of Things Smithensy Published This Year, 2020 / quarantimes edition!

under a cut this year for the first time!

ordinarily this post is called “etc etc Things Smithensy Wrote This Year etc etc”.  it’s different this year because i wrote a significant amount more than i published (formerly, this would have been to the tune of a few thousand, this year it’s about 200 thousand) and also published some things that were entirely or partially written in 2019.

total # of works published on AO3: 46 total # of chapters (including one shots) "": 143 total # words "": 350,179

[for comparison, in the previous five years, 2015-2019, i published 243,892 words. 🧠🪱] [that’s the worm emoji, if you’re on a platform that doesn’t support it.]

most prolific months of the year by word count: 

May: 47,643

August: 41,241

March: 40,112

other interesting things:

1 work was first posted in 2019 and continued to update through 2020. (it is one of three 2019 WIPs, the other two of which did not update at all this year! whoops!)

14 works first posted in 2020 remain incomplete

7 works contained sexual content

5 works contained content that would get me canceled in other fandoms!

summary of my 2020 music taste:

6 works are titled with Carly Rae Jepsen song lyrics

5 works are titled with Joanna Newsom song lyrics

5 works are titled with Vienna Teng song lyrics

2 works are titled with Aly & AJ song lyrics

Without further ado !

january

but level, in time Thomas and Richard ten years after the conclusion of you will not take my heart, alive. Rated M, 1.2k words. [WIP]

and eager besides Thomas dresses the Duke for dinner. Rated T, 1.2k words. During canon.

like foals, unsteady on their feet Two blokes, having a chat, not trying to fit in for once. Rated T,  11.1k words. During canon.

"You can draw the line wherever you like, Mr Ellis. Richard. Doesn't change the fact that I went off with a strange man from a pub, now, does it – "

"Who among us hasn't?" 

Thomas made a sound rather like he was choking. It seemed inappropriate to smile; Richard did anyway. Just a small one; he couldn't help himself. Thomas had a way of cutting through his curtains, letting the sunshine in.

"So," Thomas said after a moment. He coughed. "You really are…"

And hadn't he thought he'd made that perfectly clear.

"No, Mr Barrow," he said, "I touched your mouth back there owing to our shared inclination toward domestic service."

february

(went with you up to) the place you grew up in A summer day in the Ellis back garden. Rated T, 1.6k words. Post-canon.

want you in my room The last night of the Royal visit, and the morning after. Rated T, 3.7k words. During canon.

all my wooing done Not all firsts have seconds. Rated T, 1.1k words. During canon.

and speak each other in passing Four times Thomas Barrow didn't meet Richard Ellis. Rated T, 1.3k words During canon.

"William," Thomas calls back, "we don't have all day."

He's gotten distracted watching one of several tearful departures happening on the platform. People do love to get in the way for that sort of thing, like no one else's time or space matters because they've got feelings. 

"...Mum, come on, now, it won't be so long – "

"They never do let you away from that place – "

It's a young man about their age and a woman who is evidently his mother.

No one ought to behave like that in public.

march

3 additional chapters of a fic we'll get to later comprised the bulk of the ~40k words from this month; but no unique works were last published/updated in March! 

april

far away, the thudding of the guns Thomas, during and after the Front. Unrated, 20k words. [WIP, first chapter published Dec 8, 2019]

strange how I fit into you (there's a distance erased with the greatest of ease) It takes more than love to run a household. Rated M, 10.8k words. Post-canon.

"How did this get here?" Thomas asks, holding up one of Richard's shirts. It's soft; the pinstripes are faded and have been for ages now. There is an unidentifiable blotch on the sleeve up by the shoulder that wasn't there a few weeks ago when he last washed it.

Richard sets his head on his shoulder. His cheek scratches. Tomorrow morning he'll shave and Thomas will pretend to be relieved. "I don't know," he says lightly. "Must've been at work."

"It's not tailor's chalk," Thomas retorts.

"Maybe on the bus."

"You had your jacket off on the bus, did you?"

"Had it off some place," says Richard, nuzzling his neck. He holds him a little tighter, moves one hand up to his chest and the other lower than it needs to be. "Maybe here… I get distracted, don't I, Mr Barrow."

"Yes, you do," says Thomas, snippy, if reluctantly so. "And now you're distracting me, so get."

persistence A look at the shared history of Phyllis Baxter and Thomas Barrow. Rated T, 11k. [WIP, first chapter published Jan 3]

you and me will get on just fine Snippets from the Royal Visit. Rated T, 11.4k words. [WIP]

may

one more night with you The Crawleys open up Grantham House for the last time, and Thomas has someone to see. Unrated, 6.6k words. Post-canon. [WIP]

good love Five times Thomas danced with a woman, and one time he didn't. Rated T, 2.5k words. Pre, during, post canon. 

He can't stop thinking about the last time he danced with somebody.

He hopes he's okay.

and I've been feeling weak without it (only want a real, real love) The danger always was that they wouldn't work in close quarters, but they do. Rated M, 14.6k words. Post-canon.

june

better things to do The night out in York goes differently. Unrated, 3.1k words. AU, canon divergence. [WIP]

From behind him comes the thrum of chatter and the sound of jazz music, upbeat and swinging, the sort he'd expect to hear at any place from the Palais to the Jubilee Hall but not necessarily in his own corner. Not necessarily for working people, as it happens, either, the other aspect notwithstanding. Dancing. There must be dancing. When was the last time he danced with anybody?

july

better late than the never we've been told before Richard fetches Thomas from Downton. Rated T, 4.8k words. Post-canon.

and those who sow trouble reap it A love triangle, except it's a many-angled shape. Rated T, 10.1k words. Pre, during canon. [WIP]

tiny little bows Thomas is tired of waiting. Richard is, too. Rated T, 2.6k words. During canon.

"Don't tell me they don't have those in London."

It is sweet, Thomas can admit, or at least it is as far as cats go. Just sat on the wall with its tail swishing, nuzzling his hand.

"Well, they don't have this one in London," says Mr Ellis. He looks up at Thomas and grins in a fashion that makes his heart flip over, then turns back to the cat. It's purring. Thomas can't blame it; he would be, too.

august

bring you back to where I know you (I just want you to let you let me hold you) Thomas and Richard find something they'd been missing. Rated X, 6k words. Post-canon.

only a steel man can be a lover They don't talk about the sadness. Rated T, 900 words. Post-canon.

it takes my breath away (what you do so naturally) Thomas chooses his own path. Then he veers off and finds a better one. Rated M, 5.4k words. During canon.

...linens airing out in windows and back gardens, children with clothing either hemmed just before their wrists and ankles or full of tucks and patches… Must not be a school day, but then you never know, do you?

The men are working, he suspects, only to find a game of football in the park just round the corner.

Home used to look like this.

He wonders if it still would, now.

to guide your eye Richard tries something old; Thomas tries something new. Unrated, 11.3k words. Post-canon.

september

writing in the margins Richard isn't sure of Mr Barrow just yet, but he hopes he will be soon. Rated T, 2.4k words. During canon.

...As it happens the resident butler and I seem to be getting on like a house on fire, but don't make anything of it just yet... 

tend and mind Flu season. Thomas makes for a good nurse. Rated G, 485 words. Post-canon.

forever and please don't go A storm rolls in. Richard gets stuck at Downton. Rated T, 500 words. Post-canon.

count up all the chances Handsome young footmen loving people they shouldn't. Unrated, 2.8k words. Spanning and post canon. [WIP]

october

let's not give the game away Thomas struggles with a finer detail of valeting. Rated T, 600 words. Pre-canon.

take my eyes to borrow A chance encounter changes everything. It also changes very little. Rated M, 18.8k words. Pre and spanning canon, AU.

"You got into a spot of trouble with your commanding officer?"

"I may have done."

It was spoken like it ought to have been a joke, but Ellis wasn't smiling anymore. "Queer, isn't it, being in service," he murmured. He really was talkative. "The bonds you form… things aren't so clear-cut out here as they were before, are they?"

Had he told him he was in service, before?

"How do you mean?"

"I think you know, Corporal," he said.

"I don't," Thomas told him.

But he knew enough in the moment to know that he was lying.

the things I shut Daisy comes to a conclusion. Rated T, 1.8k words. Post-canon.

a love that won't sit still After the Royal Visit, Thomas and Richard correspond. Rated T, 18.5k words. Post-canon. [WIP]

hope keeps us standing Downton Abbey is not like other great houses, and its butler is not like other butlers. Unrated, 17.2k words. During canon. [WIP]

you follow what you feel inside (it's intuitive; you don't have to try) Times are changing at Downton, and Thomas has a decision to make. Rated M, 1.9k words. During canon, AU. [WIP]

a love that won't sit still The Royal visit ends; Thomas and Richard correspond. Rated T, 18.5k words. [WIP, first chapter Feb 2.]

november

of someone else's flowers Richard makes an important introduction. Rated T, 2.6k. Post-canon. [WIP]

all my casualties of love Thomas tells Richard about his past lovers. Rated T, 5.5k words. During canon.

nothing like a fresh abrasion (to win your love) Richard takes care of Thomas. Rated M, 15.3k words, extensive content warnings. Post-canon.

Fittingly, a breeze passes through from outside, occupying the moment of silence. Autumn air—it makes them both shiver. Earlier in the morning Richard had opened up the windows to get some light in, some fresh air. Most nights they keep the curtains drawn and with good reason, but they don't always get opened back up again.

It's the little things. He's going to endeavour to make them a priority in future.

Drapes tied back, window propped, shutters open. Sunshine.

He wonders if he ought to be concerned about heights.

LES MISÉRABLES: what of the rhythm and meter A literary exchange in the backroom of the Café Musain. Rated T, 1k words. Canon era. [Written in 2019.]

LES MISÉRABLES: the fall of a royal head Jean Prouvaire attempts to bring revolutionary praxis into the bedroom. Rated T, 1.7k words. Canon era. [Written in 2019.]

a web that you have wove There's something unusual about the Royal Household entourage… and Mr Ellis in particular. Rated T, 14k words. During canon, AU.

december

when to my soul, the body would say Thomas and Richard stay at a pub in the middle of nowhere; intimacy ensues. Rated X, 83k words. [WIP, first chapter published Jan 5 2020. This is the March fic.]

this sudden burst of sunlight Thomas & Richard's first time in the A Love That Won't Sit Still universe. Rated X, 5k words.

waken us from sleeping On his way to France Matthew comes across someone he knows. Rated M, 6.9k words. During/between canon. [WIP]

warm blood (underneath my skin) Vampire Richard drinks Thomas's blood. Rated X, 1.6k words. [WIP]

the most sacred of life's keepsakes Thomas & Sybil fall in love and get married. Rated T, 2.1k words. AU, canon divergence.

today, a difference Thomas & Sybil have a baby. Rated T, 7.7k words. AU, canon divergence.

never die for long Thomas has a letter; Sybil has ideas. Rated T, 5.3k words. AU, canon divergence.

kindling Telephone calls between Thomas and Richard on Christmas day, over the years. Rated T, 5.1k words. Post-canon.

They've got a sparkling tree and a roaring fire and full bellies and a very comfortable sofa and, best of all, each other, in a place that's their own. Both of their own, and unlike years past, neither of them are plucking hours out of thin air and hopping on milk trains to make the day work. There's nowhere to set off for in the morning, no other place they're meant to be, no other people to serve. They were together the day before and they'll be together the day after.

How very nice it is, that.

It was a very long time in coming.

[jeannereames]

Writing Historical Fiction (Well)

From an anonymous ask:

"What advice would you give to someone who wants to write about Alexander?" Sorry I didn't clarify, I was thinking of writing a fictional novel (but do not plan to publish it, lol)

If you’re just writing for yourself with no plans to publish, you don’t have to worry about constraints like wordcount and publishability. Unfortunately, it’s difficult to sell mainstream historicals. Selling a genre historical is easier (historical fantasy, historical mystery, historical romance). But there’s a reason it took me 30 years to get Dancing with the Lion into print. Yes, some of that time I was actually writing it, but much more was devoted to finding a market for it, and notice that I did, finally, have to sell it as genre even though it isn’t really. (It was that or shelve it forever.)

Yet if you’re asking for my recommendations, I assume you want to write something that’s marginally readable. Ergo, what follows is general advice I’d give anybody writing historical fiction.

For historicals, one must keep track of two things simultaneously: telling a good story, and portraying history accurately enough. It’s possible to do one well, but the other quite badly.

First, let’s look at how to write a good story.

There are two very basic sorts of stories: the romance, and the novel. Notice it’s romance small /r/. A romance is an adventure story; in romances, the plot dominates and characters serve the plot. A novel is character-driven, so plot events serve character development. Dancing with the Lion is a novel.

Once you’ve decided which of those you’re writing, you have a better handle on how to write it. You also need to know where you’re going: what’s the end of the story? What are the major plot points? Writers who dive in with no road map tend to produce bloated books that require massive edits. That said, romances will almost always be faster paced, in part because “what’s happening” drives it. Whereas in novels, the impact of events on characters drives it. Exclusive readers of romances are rarely pleased by the pacing of novels. They’re too slow: “Nothing is happening!” Things are happening, but internally, not externally.

Yet pacing does matter. Never let a scene do one thing when it can do three.

You will want to pay attention to something called “scene and sequel.” A “scene” is an event and a “sequel” are the consequences. So let’s say (as in my current MIP [monster in progress]) you open with a fugitive from the city jail racing through the streets with guards following: he leaps the wall of a rich man’s house and ends up in the bedroom of a visiting prince. That’s the scene. The sequel is the fall-out. (House searched, prince hides fugitive, prince gets fugitive to tell him why he’s running.) Usually near the end of the sequel(s) to the first scene, you embed the hook to the next (a slave of the rich man has been found murdered outside the city walls). The next scene concerns recovering the body and what they discover (then fall-out from that). Etc., etc., etc.

That’s how stories progress. Or don’t progress, if the author can’t master scene-sequel patterns.

It also means—again—you need to know where you’re going. Outlines Are Your Friends. But yes, your plot can still take a sharp left-hand turn that surprises you…they almost always do.

When I sat down to write Dancing with the Lion, I knew three things:

1)     I wanted to write about Alexander before he became king.

2)     I wanted to explore his relationship with Hephaistion.

3)     I especially wanted to consider how both became the men they’d did.

With those goals in mind, I could frame the story. Because I always intended Hephaistion to be as important as Alexander, the novel opens in his point-of-view to establish that. And because I didn’t want to deal with Alexander as king, the novel had to end before he became one. History itself gives a HUGE and obvious gift in the abrupt murder of Philip. Where to open was harder to decide, but as I wanted to explore the boys’ friendship and its impact on their maturation into men, I should logically begin with their meeting, and decided not to have them meet too young. From there, I spun out Hephaistion’s background, and his decision to run away from home to join the circus, er, I mean Pages. 😉

IMO, Alexander’s story is Too Big to do in a single novel, or you get an 800+ page monstrosity like Chris Cameron’s God of War. The author must decide on what piece of the story she wants to tell. (Or, like me, view it as a series.)

So that’s (in a nutshell) how you construct a story.

As for the historical side, there are three levels here:

1)     What the world looks like (details).

2)     The events that take place.

3)     How people living in that world understand life, the universe, and everything.

Number two is probably the easiest. Numbers one and three require deeper research on all sorts of things. Sometimes historical novels spend all their time on number one and completely forget number three exists.

The past is a foreign country. Just as you wouldn’t (or at least shouldn’t) write a novel set in Japan (if you’re American) without learning something not only about the physical country but also the customs…same with stories set in the past.

This is why the Oliver Stone movie failed. He put modern people in a costume drama. He didn’t understand how ancient Macedonians (or Greeks or Persians) thought. So he committed crazy anachronisms like the oedipal complex between Alexander and Olympias. Freud may have named his theory after a Greek hero, but it’s largely a foreign idea to the Greek mind. (Whether it’s valid at all is a topic for another day).

The author has to let ancient people be properly ancient.

Problem: what do you do when they’re SO foreign they’re impossible to understand for modern readers—or their attitudes are outright offensive?

Well, if you don’t plan to get your story published, you don’t have to worry about that. Or not as much. But if you want to share it with others, you might still want to consider it.

There are two basic approaches:

1)     Introduce your world through a “stranger” who enters it.

2)     Spread out more “modern” views among various characters in the story, to give modern readers something familiar to hang onto.

The first of those is by far the most common. So in Diana Gabaldon’s Outlander, Claire Randall—quite literally a modern woman—introduces the modern reader to Jacobite Scotland. As she learns about her new world, so does the reader, and in Claire, the reader has a voice to express both their fascination and their horror of that world. In Judith Tarr’s Lord of the Two Lands, she uses Meriamon, an Egyptian priestess, to enter the Macedonian world of Alexander. Judy can then contrast Egyptian and Macedonian cultural values in order to explain them. Meriamon asks questions the reader wants answers to—or Niko (or Alexander) ask questions of her about Egypt.

The second choice (which is what I did in Dancing) is to identify cultural mores likely to offend modern readers: indifference to slavery, glorification of war and conquest, Greco-Macedonian attitudes towards women, and Greco-Macedonian attitudes towards sexuality. Then to assign one of the characters to voice a more modern view. Alexander gets to be a proto-feminist, and I gave points of view to two women. One of those women, I made a slave. Hephaistion gets to express a more modern view regarding the horrors of war. Sexuality was a bit tougher, but I used the boys’ atypical relationship—that the younger is the one of higher status—to illustrate Greco-Macedonian assumptions about what a male-male relationship should look like.

That approach presents more hurdles, but for my purposes, I preferred it.

I harp on this because it’s the biggest problem for historical fiction: not having historical characters! It wrecks what might otherwise be decent research into the details. No matter how much you look up what they ate, how they dressed, the way their houses were laid out…if you have them behaving anachronistically, it’s a bad historical. Or if you have circumstances that just wouldn’t occur.

Let me give an example. I’ve said before that, when I started writing the novel in December of 1988, Dancing always began with a run-away boy (Hephaistion). But in my initial version, he showed up in Pella incognito. The more I read about Macedonia, however, the more I realized that was virtually impossible. There just weren’t that many Hetairoi. He’d have been recognized, and probably sooner rather than later. So I went back to the drawing board and, instead of having him try to hide, he comes right out and says who he is, and that he wants to join the Pages. It might take away the “mystery,” but set up more interesting dynamics: would Philip let him stay? What would his father do? Etc.

That requires the author know enough about the culture to know what’s possible, probable, and impossible. It also requires the author to be willing to change original plans in order to reflect reality, not insist on doing ___ anyway.

A good example of jettisoning history in favor of “what I want to do!” can be found in David Gemmell’s Lion of Macedon. So many, many things wrong with that book, starting with his choice to make Parmenion a Spartan for no historical reason whatsoever—but (I assume?) because Spartans Are Sexy. Parmenion likely belonged to the royal house of Upper Macedonian Pelagonia. Although even if he didn’t, absolutely nothing suggests he wasn’t Macedonian, and quite a lot says he was. The whole duology (with included The Dark Prince) was essentially Blue Boltz ™ Epic Fantasy Does Greece. The fact he actually included a bibliography in back, and got weird, isolated details right only added insult to injury.

Yet Gemmell was a best-selling British fantasy novelist who knew pacing and how to spin a good yarn. For a reader with zero knowledge of Alexander, it would stack up as a predictable but tolerable fantasy set.

Remember that as an historical fiction author, your job is to practice the art of getting it right. If that isn’t important to you, please God, write something completely made up.

At the spectrum’s other end is Showing Notecards on Every Page. You’ve done ALL that hard research, and you’ll be damn sure the reader knows it!

Um, the reader doesn’t care. The reader wants to be transported to another world. How locals in that world shoed horses (or if they shoed horses at all) is irrelevant. It matters only if your main character’s a farrier. And even then, it matters only if said-farrier is having a conversation with someone else while shoeing a horse.

If people want all the little details of history, they’ll read a history book.

Now, how much detail is “too much” can vary from reader to reader, and often has something to do with the genre.

Regular readers of historical fiction are fans because they enjoy history. So they’ll expect proper world-building. But they don’t want the Dreaded Information Dump. Weave in details. The Dreaded Information Dump is a common beginning-author error across the board, but especially bad in certain genres, such as historicals, fantasy, and SF.

What’s an “information dump”? It’s where the author provides details the reader doesn’t need at that point in the story. What the character looks like, is wearing, their family background, what they had for breakfast….

As mentioned, details should be woven into the story organically. What your character had for breakfast matters only if, later, it’s giving him/her gas: “Damn those beans in my breakfast burrito!” Some details may be useful to set a scene and prevent characters from walking around, having conversations in a void, but again, a light touch.

Similarly, One scene, One head. We do NOT need to see everything from each character’s point of view. No, really. We don’t. And dear God, please don’t “head-hop” inside of scenes (unless you’re writing omniscient, but be sure you know what omniscient IS). Drives me BUGGY.

Anyway, back to the Notecard Showing Problem. As noted above, genre expectations and reader preferences often dictate what IS “too much detail.” Generally, historical Romance (the genre) and historical mysteries go lighter on detail than historical fantasy or plain historicals. That’s because the former two have genre conventions that work against it. Romances preference the love story front-and-center at all times, and mysteries have a mystery to unravel. E.g, they’re plot driven. By contrast, historical fantasies tolerate more world building because world building itself is a feature of fantasy (and science fiction too). And the appeal of mainstream or literary historicals IS the world building, so you get massive novels like Ken Follet’s Pillars of the Earth.

I’m blathering now, but hopefully this gives pointers not just about writing Alexander, but writing fiction period, and historical fiction in particular.

[jq37]

The Royal Report– A Crown of Candy Ep 9 Safe Harbor

Out at Sea

We start this week on the recently commandeered La Fondue, milk raining down on our exhausted and injured PCs who are still reeling from Stilton’s betrayal. Most of Annabelle’s crew are even more badly injured so the PCs are forced to help sail the ship in a group skill check which 4/6 of them pass for a group pass. The gang watches the surviving enemy ships sail away and Jet considers blasting them with canons but the La Fondue doesn’t have artillery. Jet also asks Annabelle if maybe, now that they’ve saved all of their lives, they can break protocol and bring them to Candia instead of the Dairy Islands, a question she doesn’t answer at the moment.

(Edit: Wait! I should have called this section Sweet Life on Deck! Dangit! They better be on a boat again so I can use it!)

Most of the group start to fall asleep, understandable considering they’re living through the longest day of their lives, but Theo takes a second to talk to Cumulous first. He asks about Cumulous’s backstory and learns that the Spinning Star monks used to be able to teleport all over the place with teleportation circles made by Lazuli but, without her around to tend to them, they’ve been breaking down and are now unstable and dangerous to use. Him using one to get to them was a big risk and he really only made it because he’s one of the strongest monks. Additionally, as alluded to before, Candia being at war with the Concord released him from certain vows which allowed him to join the fight. They also bond over being the #1 and #2 Archmage Lazuli stans (or actually maybe #2 and #3 as we’ll find out soon) and Cumulous who is either really into magical weapons in general or magical weapons made by Lazli or a little of both gets emotional over Battlepop like he did over Sourscratch a scene before. 

The next day, there’s a funeral for the one sailor Annabelle lost in the fight. Ruby ties the milk-silk handkerchief from Primsy to her collar in solidarity. Speaking of, Primsy shows up--still injured from the attempt on her life--and invites everyone not to tea, but to a parlay. Clearly affected by the recent events, she declares that she doesn’t recognize the excommunication of Amethar and questions the church’s position on witchcraft considering all the witchcraft her Candian allies used to save her. She’s also pretty chill about the whole Stilton thing considering.

Primsy says she’ll help them but first wants them to fill in the gaps in Brie’s brief letter. Amethar explains about how he was excommunicated for still officially being married to Katherine Ghee. During an aside to this conversation, he drops what I naively thought was going to be the headline news from this episode: Caramelinda was engaged to someone else before marrying Amethar--Lazuli! It was for political reasons in part but also a love match and when Lazuli died, she ended up getting married to Amethar to at least maintain the alliance. Anyway, Ruby asks if Cara knew about Ghee and Amethar says no one knew except Jack, Belford (the priest), and Ghee herself (plus his sisters but they’re all dead). Annabelle and Primsy question whether Amethar didn’t try to have the marriage annulled and he says that he did right after the war but she couldn’t be found. Annabelle says that there are a lot of little islands she could have run to in the aftermath of the war (a smart move considering the target that would be on her back) and says that Dairy ships have a better chance at finding Ghee if she’s still around so she’ll help arrange that.  

They have a little convo-detour about various plot points:

Primsy asks how the Pontifex knew to ask Jack about Ghee in the first place. Ruby and Jet suggest she used magic or maybe found something in the files Ciabatta claimed had no Candian secrets. 

Annabelle questions the fact that Plumbeline would name Ciabatta as the successor right before having to swear on the Book of Leaves. That seems to indicate that either she’s not working with the Pontifex or the Pontifex wanted to specifically and publicly rule out Ciabatta as a possible candidate. 

Also, we learn that ex-communicating Amethar doesn’t take away his right to rule as Emperor. The Pontifex doesn’t have that authority, at least not on paper. But, as Ruby points out, she effectively has the authority by power. Still, if they can get the Book of Leaves and confirm Amethar was named emperor, that’s a huge point in their favor because he obviously wouldn’t declare war on Candia as emperor so the war would be without proper authorization and a violation of the Concord pact. 

Theo and Amethar speculate that the Pontifex doesn’t actually want to name a new emperor and want to just “provisionally” (but really indefinitely) fill the power vacuum herself.  

Anyway, Primsy reaffirms that the Dairy Islands are with Candia all the way and they continue to sail. They have 18 days before they land and Jet uses that time to finally read the rest of her banned book. You’ll remember that she already read about the first thing--the Profidian Heresy--which was an old, now heretical belief of certain members of the church that the Hungry One was as strong as the Bulb. We get a little bit of new info on that: One person who believed that doctrine and was later killed for it was a Veduit Priest (fight me Brennan) named Bartholomew Brocolpatch who was a mentor to a young Belizabeth Brassica. 

Onto the second term--the Ramsian Doctrine (did not clock the Gordon Ramsay reference until it was mentioned on Adventuring Party). It is a full, end times, Revelations, Ragnarok type thing. Ruby helps with this because she speaks Bulbosi (which is like Candian Celestial or church speak). Basically what it says is that the Bulb can’t win until the Hungry One devours the world and the Hungry One won’t devour unhealthy souls (Ruby translates “healthy” from the Bulbosi phrases “farm to table” and “locally sourced”) so in order to bring about the end of days, there needs to be a destruction of all the trash people or, phrased differently because the word for people and food is the same in Bulbosi--the junk food.

Even knowing what happens later in this episode, this still might be the thing I'm most mad at Brennan about.

Cumulous later calls a meeting of all the Candians and drops a little more exposition on them. He says that the reason that Candia has magic and the other kingdoms largely don’t is because his order of monks curates and tends to the magic of the realm while other kingdoms neglect their sources of magic. He also says that the church’s power comes from others not having it. After Ruby mentions that she sees Lazuli on a semi-regular basis through her magic, Cumulous drops the bombshell that his power comes from the Hungry One--though he doesn’t worship them. It’s just like a power source. They also discuss Jet’s research on the end of days stuff and Jet thinks maybe the move is to spread as much junk food as possible to delay the apocalypse.  

Homecoming 

After a long time out at sea, the gang arrives at Port Syrup at the mouth of the Cola River. As they sail in, they see three sunk Imperial warships and that the port is heavily defended. Clearly they got the memo. And we quickly see who gave it to them when Brie and Manta Ray Jack run up to meet them! Amethar is super happy to see his friends alive and they also confirm that Cal made it out and so did basically everyone except the Swirlies (RIP). The Jawbreaker castle--Castle Many-Licks--is under siege but it’s very hard to break into and it seems like most of the rest of Candia is doing OK.

Brie thanks Ruby for her help in finding Manta Ray Jack and then confirms Amethar/Theo’s suspicions that the Pontifex is ruling in the absence of an emperor (she says that until Candia is back in the Concord, technically, there can be no emperor). He also swears to duel Liam who truly cannot stop putting his foot in his mouth (this time about the church and a *very* confusing..complement?), after the war.

Amethar and Cumulous have a quick aside where Cumulous once again says that his mission is more to protect the magic of Candia than them specifically. It just so happens that, right now, those two things are pretty aligned.

As they make their way back to Castle Candy (w/ their Dairy Island friends), the citizens are pretty stoked to see them so it seems that war with the Concord has not lessened the populace’s love for their king. They take a pit stop and get a war update. The mountains are full of Imperial soldiers and random marauders plus there are reports of “Long Live the Queen” written in Imperial soldier blood on the side of a mountain which isn’t ominous at all. Also, there’s a call for all the help they can get to defend Castle Candy because an army from Comida is coming. Ruby tries and succeeds in communing with Lazuli who sends her a vision: to help Castle Many Licks troop-wise, they’d have to leave Port Syrup defenseless basically which would be a huge strategic loss. Meanwhile, the army coming to Castle Candy is full of discord so there’s a better chance at being able to muster (not mustard) troops there and be successful. The Dairy peeps say they’ll help as well and leave for Lacramore--except for Brie who holds down the fort in Port Syrup and Jack who goes with them to Castle Candy.

They make it there, at like 4am and Carmelinda is there to meet them, full weeping in relief at her daughters’ safe return. Cal is also there (with fancy new pants) and very happy to see Amethar. Caramelinda is less happy to see Amethar and you can clearly feel the tense conversation they’re gearing up for. The girls want to stay but Cara lays down the mom hammer and starts lecturing them. They all try to stealth away (non-daughters included) but Cara goes Full Mom and hits a Nat 20 to eyes-on-the-back-of-her-head notice. She stomps her foot and traps them all in caramel, demanding they all stop messing around and go to bed. Theo Messages her to give a quick word in favor of the girls and their maturity and battle prowess which Cara acknowledges.                   

Cal gets acquainted with Cumulous while Amethar follows Cara into their chambers for a convo that had me feeling like *I* was in trouble. She’s emotionally overwhelmed in a kind of understated and detached way as she talks to Amethar--she’s again openly weeping but not really about him. She doesn’t expect much from him. Him never telling her and hoping the problem would go away like a child makes sense. But his sisters knew which means Lazuli knew and never told her which hurts a whole lot more because, “Lazuli I loved with all my heart and this is just politics.” Ow. Amethar promises he’s going to do better. She doesn’t seem convinced as she leaves the room.      

Later (Note: I’m not 100% clear on the timeline since Siobhan says when they wake up but it seems like it’s still dark in the next scene), Ruby takes the “For Candia” note from Lapin and brings the rest of the PCs to the Sugar Plum Fairy’s standing stones to have a little funeral. Liam finds a peppermint seed and puts it down for Preston. Cumulous is also there and has the urge to meditate while everyone goes back to the castle.

Rocks Fall 

Ruby and Jet see, as their mom walks out of her study, a piece of tearaway lingerie in her desk as she locks the door behind her. And it’s not Jet’s. You know the girls gotta investigate that and Ruby, of course, gets a Nat 20 to pick the lock. In fact she doesn’t have to pick it. She approaches it with an air of mischief and it yields to her, opening without her even having to break out her thieves' tools. They find a letter from Lazi Fierce (interesting name choice) of Lazi Fierce Lingerie who apparently has been spying on them for their mom since they were little (which is funny considering she seemed outraged about their buying lingerie in ep 1). The letter also cryptically refers to something she’s keeping hidden in the attic of her shop and that she needs to leave and she doesn’t know when she’ll be back so if Cara needs it, she should go get it. Much like Siobhan/Adaine stealing that book in S1 of Fantasy High, there is no way the girls were gonna get that info and *not* follow up on it. They grab Liam and go.

With a 25, Ruby easily picks the lock and...we cut to Cumulous. 

As he’s meditating, the Sugar Plum Fairy appears to him in a traditional, cutesy form. Cumulous sees through the glamour and asks what she wants. She says she wants the magic of Candia safe, same as him and says she would owe him a boon if he brought the royal family (who she needs safe) to the Great Stone Candy Mountain. She says there’s safety there for them and Candia’s magic. Maybe not in the way Lazuli planned but this is a better plan. Cumulous says he’ll think about it.

Calroy finds Amethar and takes him to the ramparts of the castle to have a guy chat and also talk strategy. As they get up there, Amethar sees that there’s a ton of soldiers in tents out in the fields. And then he feels a knife in his back. Brennan asks for 3 Con saves.

Water dagger.

He takes 34 points of damage (about half his HP) and is paralyzed as Cal starts to monologue about how he’s always hated Amethar for being so lucky. Fifth in line and somehow makes it to the throne while he’s stuck having to wheel and deal for everything he has. He reveals that he had Rococoa killed when she found out he was selling weapons to Cersians AND that the tents in the field aren’t all Candian tents. Some of them are Ceresians. He got Stilton interested in Primsy. He set up the cheese ambush. He worked with Alfredi to get the water daggers to Kerradin. He told the Pontifex about Ghee (he was in that conversation you’ll remember). He *also* says that, in her younger days, the Pontifex had Citrina (who he claims to have actually liked) killed in the street by Vegetanian knights. 

“I wonder if they’ll call you Amethar the Unfallen after this.”

Boom, Amethar is sent over the castle walls. 

Jet, Ruby, and Liam are in the attic and they see a gleam of golden light from a chest where something is clearly being held. Brennan makes everyone roll Initiative as they walk in and Liam sees four shapes in the room move, all masked, dressed in black, and holding water-steel daggers.  

Ally scrambles for combat dice--because this is a STORY episode what is HAPPENING--and attacks for, in total, 67 damage to one guy who smells of sourdough and does not drop. He hides and Ally, in a burst of realization, puts together that it must have been Ciabatta, something confirmed by Brennan’s coy smile as he rolls a million dice.

Emily and Siobhan hold hands and brace for whatever’s coming. 

Ruby is hit by a dagger and Jet, it seems, is hit by two (since she takes 6 saving throws to Ruby’s 3). Ruby takes 49 damage (down to THREE) and Jet takes 53+51, dropping her and poisoning her. She has to make a death save with disadvantage (bc of the poison) which she passes.   

Ruby wants to stay and fight but Liam and Jet insist she run so, visibly distraught, she casts Invisibility on herself and runs for Theo. Liam casts Rope Trick, grabs Jet, and brings her into a little pocket dimension with him. Ciabatta takes off his mask and tells his men to find them and they say, “Yes Imperator.” They leave. We’re out of combat.

But Jet still has death saves to make.

Nat 1.

That’s two fails.

Liam tries to make a DC 15 medicine check to stabilize her or at least give advantage but fails.

She rolls again.

Nat 1.

As she lays in the Rope Trick, bleeding out, Liam trying his best to stanch the wound, Jet feels a glow on her Locket of the Sweetest Heart. Ruby feels the glow as she sprints over the bridge back to the castle and as she reaches the other side, the glow extinguishes.    

“Tell Ruby I love her,” Jet says to Liam, not from her body, but standing above her body. “And tell her she did the right thing.”

The spirit of her aunt Rococoa shows up to ferry her to the other side.

“Good job soldier. You got her home. Ruby’s gonna be alright. Work’s not over. There’s plenty we can do from this side. You ready?” Oh, hell yeah she is.

Which brings us to Theo who is in the castle, looking for other knights, when he finds Sir Toby in his room, butchered. The door is slammed and locked shut behind him by some of Cal’s men who taunt him about eating Toby’s corpse to survive. But Theo isn’t just a brawn guy. He’s the ward of Archmage Lazuli. He casts Knock and the door flies open.                    

Cumulous hears shouting from the castle and runs towards it immediately.

And Amethar is still falling.

Brennan says he has the time to make 3 checks to come out of paralysis. He comes out of paralysis on his first turn and, as is mechanically useful and narratively appropriate, goes into a rage. As he falls he thinks about Ruby doing that slick aerial arrow shooting last ep and Jet stabbing that dude with him during the ambush. He sees a point of light across town cross the bridge and go out and he *knows* Jet is dead. If he wasn’t raging before, he’s raging now. He falls and takes 72 points of damage, halved to 36. He’s still up. Amethar the Unfallen, yet again. 

The sounds of war erupt and that’s where we end our ep.

Safe harbor my ass. 

In Memoriam

Oh, Jet.

I’ve known this was something I was going to have to write for ages now. I’m honestly only surprised this wasn’t the first one. Jet has had a date with the Grim Reaper for ages now and it was just down to confirming the date and time.

The moment she said, “I go on top of the carriage and lay myself perfectly to protect Ruby,” she might as well have started picking flowers for her grave. Her willingness to throw herself in harm’s way to protect anyone she held in any regard without the slightest hesitation was always going to be her downfall. A noble end to be sure, but still an end. And it sucks that, if she had to die, she didn’t die in a blaze of glory in battle, but she made the most of her senseless death. She died, telling Ruby to run, wishing she could have done more to save her, telling Liam to make sure she knows that she’s loved and that she didn’t abandon her, she did the right thing. Not a single thought for herself, only for her sister. 

Jet, who never wanted to be queen and now never will be.

Jet who longed for war and fell right on the cusp on the biggest one in years.

Jet who was forced by circumstances to step up and did so every time. 

I didn’t include her last exchange with Rococoa in the recap because I wanted to use those lines here. 

Her aunt says, “I have bad news. If you thought the adventure was gonna end, it’s not.”

“Well,” Jet replies with a slight smile, “if you thought the adventurer was gonna die, she definitely fucking wasn’t.”

The Bastard Jet Rocks. RIP.

1 Million Years Dungeon 

That damn cake bastard and his stupid fancy pants. I KNEW it I KNEW it I hate that I’m right but I KNEW IT.

Not that it was a crazy puzzle as a viewer. In a story like this there *has* to be a traitor to the king and for someone to be a traitor, they first have to be a friend. And Cal has been *real* friendly.  Brennan thought he could throw us off the scent by saying that Cal was is his DMNPC, as if we don’t already know he’s the enemy. That’s just more evidence for the pile baby! I SEE YOU VILLAIN. 

But damn if it didn’t still hurt when it happened. After what he’d just been through? That’s just insult to injury, or vice versa I suppose. And in a story ep???? Brennan?????

Wild that he waited 20 years to off this dude and then monologued his entire plan and didn’t wait to make sure Amethar--the famously Unfallen--was dead though.

Anyway, absolute BASTARD MAN (and not in the cool Jet way). I need him DEAD and I need that to happen ASAP.

(Also, this is more on Brennan but full-circling Lou’s “shit/piss” running joke with a MURDER ATTEMPT? That’s an extra year dungeon my guy.)

Sunnyside Up

“You’ve struck me. Why have you done this? It was wee and gentle but you've struck me nonetheless.” I love Primsy with my whole heart. 

The “slam down big style” line was, like, moderately funny when I first heard it but every repetition in and out of game made it exponentially funnier. 

“If we have to follow the rules, you have to follow the rules!” 

“Everyone needs to stop making sworn enemies. We already have enough.”

“I sentence you to death.”/“No let him do it.” and then his, “Later.” So good. 

It didn’t *end* funny but I maintain that that the, “There’s a *war* going on,” back and forth between Jet and Ruby was gold. 

This isn’t actually from the episode but everyone roasting Brennan with full lies when he gets up to use the bathroom in the Adventuring Party is one of the funniest things Dropout has ever put out. Also, Murph taking Brenna’s cookie story and Murphing it is very good. Just watch this week’s AP, even if you don’t usually. 

Things I’m Concerned About

Going into this battle ep, Ruby has THREE HP and Amethar has FIFTEEN. Like I know Rococoa said Ruby would be OK but I hope that has some mechanical effect because IDK ABOUT THAT.

Is Lady Donetta w/ Cal or was she just a pawn, like Primsy?

Also, idk if this matters but I can’t shake the thought that Cal murdered the Swirlies. Like it’s very probable that they just suck but the thought struck me. 

Don’t love that it seems like Cal is going right for Cara this ep. Hopefully Theo (who Big Brained on that clutch Knock) can help her out and, if not, it looks like she has some skills of her own. I’m pulling for her. 

How out the window is the format? Like, I’ve been concerned about a random combat ambush for a while now--partially because of the genre and partially because of how story heavy the tourney ep was. Things have been bleeding through already and now, at the halfway point, it seems like a plausible time for Brennan to fully throw the rulebook out the window and be like, “Game’s changed y’all.” They didn’t roll for initiative at the end of last ep. I wonder if that’s logistical or somehow relevant (like, are they going *right* into combat or not).

AHHHHHHH, OK, Jet’s death. As much as I felt it coming, ouch. And not just ouch for me Ouch for everyone. I am so worried about how this is going to break Ruby specifically. Like, poor Cara--she *just* got her daughter back only for her to die in her old stomping grounds because of a letter *she* had--poor Amethar--he’s outlived his firstborn who he saw safely through battle and loved more than anyone besides his other daughter, just like he outlived all his sisters--but Ruby? This is going to CRUSH her. She egged on the sneaking out. She ran instead of staying to try and help (correct move but total guilt trip). She’s never been alone before. I know we’ve all been kinda tense for whatever that, “Family is vulnerable,” line from Siobhan in the trailer is but man I’m *so* much more tense now. I wonder if she’s gonna take a class tweak like Liam did (I know he had more of a reason for it but still curious). 

(Also, Theo who’s whole purpose in life is protect the Rocks family having Jet die and Amethar almost die in one night? RIP to that dude’s mental health.)

Note: I recognize that there’s a theory floating around that Cara set up what happened as an ambush and is evil but I refuse to consider that and if that makes me boo boo the fool in two episodes, so be it.

Seriously though, Concerned about whatever that “Long Live the Queen” stuff is. Like it could be referring to Cara but it could be referring to someone else entirely. Either way, sketchy.   

Lol also the health food-pocalypse. That’s a thing. Extremely wild that that’s not even close to the headline of this episode. 

I may have trusted Lapin by the end but I do *not* trust the Sugar Plum Fairy. Whatever’s going on with her and Cumulous? Do not vibe. 

Ciabatta better be toast by the end of this show. This isn’t a concern. This is my Denny’s order. Toasted Ciabatta with a side of dice I can pour down Brennan’s throat.

Five More Things

So, Emily’s new character. I have two thoughts. One (and this was suggested to me by @buck92) is that she’s playing the Queen’s Champion--Ser Amanda Maillard who’s been mentioned twice--once in the first episode by Theo and Sir Toby and once this episode as part of the war effort (leading troops south). A named character doing important things but with no art sounds like a possible backup PC. Also, Emily getting to play this cool knight who Murph’s character is slightly jealous of would be A Dynamic. The other strong possibility is the Sugar-free chocolate warlock Brennan mentioned in episode 1 when they were on the way to Comida. I thought they were gonna get jumped by that character and they weren’t which makes me think that’s a PC too. It would also make Emily 3 for 3 on warlocks! 

RIP to all of us who made the Bread Wedding joke before the season started. We were right, but at what cost. 

Ruby talking about how it doesn’t matter what she does because she’s not next in line and then having Jet suddenly die and instantly becoming crown princess has painfully Big Amethar Energy. 

Also, a nat 20 to break in and find the letter and then two Nat 1 death saves? The dice REALLY wanted Jet dead. Addendum: Almost forgot! Liam *just* learned Twinspeak! Like, off. What a narrative hand-off having that happen right before Jet died. It was like written in the stars.

It’s just a little moment but I loved Cara including Liam in her lecture with a little, “You are included, Liam.” 

One More Thing!

This has been circulated a bunch already but I still wanted to shout out this very good video edit by @breadddie! It hit me real hard man. 

Also, I don’t think I can link this properly without tumblr getting mad at me but this animatic with Amethar’s Fall set to What’s Up Danger on Twitter is excellent!

Edit: Here’s a link to an ask where I link to the animatic! Novatank is the artist’s @ btw. 

[atinybitofau]

[PART 3] S A N ⇲ royal series AU

RECAP: san is king of eden, you’re queen of elos under one nation with 7 other lone kings. still on a forced bonding retreat with king san, you arrive to the kingdom of aurora under mingi and seonghwa’s advisement. Though that advisement becomes a little moreso...

• series masterlist •

⇩ PART THREE ⇩ click me to read part two.

“Welcome to Aurora!”

You’ve been here countless times and sometimes you forget how far away each Kingdom is from one another. Though Mingi and you are close, you only ever see each other on days that allow.

You’re escorted out of the carriage and greet Aurora’s people kindly. King San was known for his nobility and close riches to Mingi’s kingdom so people do diligence to pay their respects. It wasn’t show stopping either that they seemed happy to both your visits.

The three of you enter the castle grounds of which Mingi stayed, his hand maid handing him a scroll of tasks.

“First things first.” The taller man clapped his hands. “Let’s get changed for cropping. Rice— a team building exercise Seonghwa has recommended for the both of you.”

“I own no land in my kingdom to mill rice, Mingi.” You rubbed at your temples. “This is unnecessary.”

“Au contraire mademoiselle,” he speaks to you in French for no apparent reason. “It’s important to keep humble and learn trades of other kingdoms. And see? King San has no objections and you should follow in his footsteps.”

“He’s walking to the bathroom.”

“Not literally!”

You chuckle. “Fine. But if I break a nail milling rice today in your territory, Song Mingi, so help me god I will rip you up.”

“You have my word, your highness.”

Upon changing for the task at hand, you tie up your perm in a messy bun and hold a basket to your hip with the milling tools required. Milling rice couldn’t be that hard. And corsets and silk may be a little constricting working with dirt and plants. You liked to keep modesty in your standards though you hold high social class. And your soldiers saw nothing of it, used to you in particular choice of silk. The other kingdoms men seemed wary by your choice of scrap clothes and whisper empty gossips to each other while Mingi gawks.

“People may get the wrong idea, Queen y/n.” He hurries to your side as you prance around his garden unscathed. “Your highness, maybe you should—“

“Let them whisper about, Mingi.” You wave him off picking tomatoes and eggplants off their stems for supper later. “It’s meaningless words anyway. They mean no harm. It’s important to keep.. humble.”

The red blushes at your mimicry. “Y-yes but don’t you think—“

“I think nothing of it.” You shrug him off looking to a young woman behind him. “Take these to the kitchen and cook up a marvelous soup for us tonight. Make enough for plenty, please.”

The maiden that follows Mingi smiles in a curt bow before taking what you requested not even waiting for the dismissal of her King. Mingi groans in response attempting at it again.

“People may assume you are too humble, your highness.”

“Well husking rice would ruin satin.” You breeze him off as a just-as-humble looking San joined you in a matching brown weaved outfit. “And it seems that I’m not the only one to think so.”

San, in the middle of tying his pants, bows hastily at the both of us. “I hope I didn’t keep you both waiting too long.”

Mingi face palms at that. “Let’s just begin. Before anyone else starts thinking I’m the one not humble enough.”

The lot of you started husking, it coming fairly easily to you though San seemed to be having trouble keeping the rice separate from the husks, lots of bits and pieces falling out. Mingi left to do his bidding being at his own Kingdom, leaving two foreign nobles in the watchful eye of his subordinate. San picked up good things and had enough individuality to adapt well. Although keeping gentle hands was not something he was good at being a King who also lead his soldiers in battle.

You sigh dusting off your dress, rushing over behind San. “With those hands, you’ll lose all your kernels of rice.”

You lace your fingers in his, his body tensing underneath you. “Never been embraced by a woman before?”

“Not from behind.”

Cheeks flaming at his sexual taunt, you help him ease his fingers nonetheless, tossing the basket lightly in your intertwined hands.

“It takes a delicate touch to separate the bad and the good.” You mumble behind him.

While slowly loosening your fingers around his, you find that he was doing it on his own. More attent on your help than anything else.

“Do you always help men like this or is this just going to be an us thing?”

Finally standing from your spot to cock a hand to your hip. A position you found natural around his attitude. “No, I don’t do this with other men. And no, this is not going to be an us thing.”

“Am I interrupting?”

A throat cleared from behind you and a guilty feeling boils as if you were just caught doing something bad. While Mingi’s glaring holes at San, you definitely can’t help the guilty feeling at all.

“I was only helping him.” You defend walking towards Mingi’s strong stance.

“Yeah by caressing my—“

“Is there something you should be telling me, Queen y/n?” Mingi whispers leaning down to you with fury blatant in his eyes. “First you wander off to search for San in an empty field. You two clearly past wanting to be well acquainted, now I’m finding you arms around him like a Shakespearean play with no script.”

You sigh. “Nothing is going on between San and I.”

“Well it sure looks like it!”

Mingi looks back at the King behind you who still seemed out of touch, talking mindlessly with the mentor before you’re being dragged out by none other than Song Mingi himself. You find yourself trudging in hesitation shocked by his sudden abrasiveness.

You look at him in horror before he holds you steady behind a tall pillar. “I don’t like seeing you holding him in such high regard, y/n, I’m worried.”

Y/n?

“Mingi, what is going on with you? Are you mad? How can I possibly hold him in a strong regard after what happened to my father?”

He seemed to have thought through his sudden apprehending anger and simmered down. Still unsatisfied, he trembles with a clenched jaw avoiding your eyes.

“Oh god, don’t tell me you’re jealous Mingi.”

He snaps his eyes at you porcelain skin going pink. You can’t help the endless butterflies from his surprising reaction to your joke, your hands going up to cup his face. You run your thumbs against his bloated pout and mimicked it in empathy.

“You have no reason to envy San’s relationship with me. It’s pure discouragement. Believe me.” You insist, the King of Aurora going weak under your touch.

“I don’t like watching you embrace another man.” He shudders holding at your hands. “Needless to say, and maybe the other kings have the same thought as I, it bothers me to see our princess in someone’s arms other than ours.”

“Well when I’m wed, you may not have the choice.”

“Though I hope it’s soon,” He sighs reluctantly sending you a kind smile. “I’d want it to be with someone I’d prefer.”

“Please don’t observe us like something we’re not.” You mutter about San as you two walk in return to your post. “He’s a King I’m reading for our benefit. You said so yourself to befriend the enemy. I’m just doing what’s considered right.”

“Following your heart was never hard for you, Queen y/n.”

You stop at that smiling broadly at his change of honorific. “Speaking of Queen, you called me y/n for the first time without honorifics.”

He stutters his next words. “I-I was startled by my own emotions. I—“

“Don’t brush it off.” You link your arms with his, feeling somewhat fit by his side. “You know I’ve always hated being addressed formally. Especially with you.”

“It’s my honor and duty to due respect.”

“Though I hold you in the highest regard I don’t find that necessary.”

“Regardless.”

You hum leaning against his arm only to be met with his Baron and San present with no emotion.

“Well don’t you two look quaint.” A look of loathe appeared and smeared the smile of King San when he glanced at the space between you and Mingi. “I’m sure you both caught up with your disagreements and settled them so.”

@atinybitofau

p.s rough edit lol.

a/n: I’m gonna take a quick hiatus from my oneshots cause I gotta recuperate ideas lmao. but I’ll make this pretty priority so ya’ll will see this series pop out a lot. just a quick fyi. love ya guys!

[stuonsongs]

My Top 10 Favorite Songs of All Time - 2006 Edition

2021 Editor’s Note: I was looking through some old files and found this thing that I wrote sometime in the summer of 2006 at age 22. For all I know, it could’ve been 15 years to the day! Looking back, I’m not sure how many of these songs would still make my top 10. Don’t get me wrong, I still love all of these tunes, but I’m sure you know how it goes - You get older, you get exposed to more things, and your idea of good music expands. Anyway, I thought it might be nice to share with anyone who still uses this site. I present it in its original format without edits to my writing. I ended up writing full posts in this blog about some of these songs if you go through the archive. 

Stu’s Top 10 Favorite Songs…Ever

Let’s start with some honorable mentions. These were so close, and I thought about it for so long, but they had to be left off.

Honorable Mentions

All Summer Long – The Beach Boys

All Summer Long. 1964. Capitol

This song has been described so many times as being “the perfect summer song.” When you listen to it, you can’t help but smile from the opening marimba intro, all the way through. It just screams “summer” and it hurt me to leave The Beach Boys off my top 10.

Bleed American – Jimmy Eat World

Bleed American. 2001. Grand Royal

So full of energy, so rocking, and so what would’ve been the most recent song on my list. I wanted to keep it in the top 10 just so I could have a song from the ‘00s, but it wasn’t meant to be. When the chorus kicks in, I can’t help but headbang.

Marie – Randy Newman

Good Old Boys. 1974. Reprise

Randy has said that a lot of young composers pick “Marie” as their favorite Newman song, and I can see why. The idea of a guy having to be drunk to tell his wife that he loves her is pretty funny, and throughout the whole song it’s just the beautiful melody with tons of strings, all to a tune about a guy ripping on himself as he comes home drunk to his wife.

Does He Love You? – Rilo Kiley

More Adventurous. 2004. Brute/Beaute

I guess this is newer than Bleed American, so it would’ve worked too. This is another more recent song that it killed me to leave off the list. The outro is an arrangement of the main tune with a different chord progression performed by a string quartet. Very beautiful. Also when Jenny Lewis screams “Your husband will never leave you, he will never leave you for me,” I get chills every time.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

So here it is. After a long day’s work, I’m finally finished. It actually turned out much different than I was thinking when I first started. The number one wasn’t really even in my top five when I started, but I slowly realized I loved it so much. I also left Ben Folds (Five) off this list completely, and I don’t know, I just feel the whole catalogue of Ben is so solid, none of the songs stick out to me that much. But anyways, here it is! After the break of course…

Stu’s Top 10

10.

(Love Is Like A) Heat Wave – Martha and the Vandellas

Heat Wave. 1963. Motown.

This one beat out “Bleed American” just barely. The reason being that somehow, despite being nearly 40 years older than Bleed American, it still has so much energy that it kills. Dan Bukvich once told our Jazz Arranging class that you can boil all the oldies you hear on the radio down to three categories: 1) Great Song. 2) Great Performance. 3) Great Arrangement. This song is one of the great performances. The handclaps throughout, combined with the driving baritone sax behind everything and constant snare drum action will keep anybody with blood running through their veins dancing all night long.

9.

Bodhisattva – Steely Dan

Countdown to Ecstasy. 1973. MCA

This song is my Freebird. It’s just a basic blues progression song at its core with some minor changes at the end of the form. The real kicker that drives this song home is the three minute guitar solo in the middle that isn’t nearly as rocking as Freebird, but it is highly proficient and takes me to places that just make me want to play the song over and over again. I have no idea what this song is about, probably Buddhism, but hey, this once again proves that lyrics rarely matter and the music itself is the core.

8.

Zanzibar – Billy Joel

52nd Street. 1978. Columbia

This song reminds me of long car rides on vacations down the west coast with my parents growing up. They used to play a tape of 52nd Street, or at least their favorite selections, constantly on these trips. I didn’t hear this song again until early in my senior year in college and remembered why I loved it so much. The song has a heavy jazz influence, displayed in the breakdown where Jazz trumpeter Freddie Hubbard does a solo. The best part of this song though is at the end of the 4th line of each verse, Billy does this “Woah oh oh!” thing that just makes me want to sing every time. It was between this and “Miami 2017 (Lights Go Out On Broadway)” which is also a great song, but the “Woah oh oh!” is too much for ol’ Stu boy.

7.

Rosalita (Come Out Tonight) – Bruce Springsteen

The Wild, the Innocent, and the E Street Shuffle. 1973. Columbia

Early Bruce Springsteen records have something that very few other artists can ever pull off without sounding cheesy or forced. It has this undeniable sense of urgency, like the world will fall apart and life will crumble through your fingers if this one moment in time doesn’t work out the way Bruce describes it. There are so many early Springsteen songs that just set a scene of “We have to get out of this town right now girl before it kills us, no matter what any of our parents, friends, anybody has to say.” There’s a line that kinda sums it up: “Well hold on tight, stay up all night ‘cause Rosie I’m comin’ on strong. By the time we meet the morning light, I will hold you in my arms. I know a pretty little place in southern California down San Diego way. There’s a little café where they play guitars all night and all day. You can hear ‘em in the back room strummin’, so hold tight baby ‘cause don’t you know daddy’s comin’.”

6.

I’ve Got You Under My Skin – Frank Sinatra

Songs For Swingin’ Lovers! 1956. Capitol

This song falls into the category of great arrangement. This Cole Porter classic tune was arranged for Sinatra by Nelson Riddle. The story goes that he was still copying down parts for the players while riding in the cab to the recording studio on the day of recording. After the players ran through it once with Frank, they stood up and applauded. The Baritone sax takes control here, outlining a Db6/9 chord throughout the intro. Of course, Frank’s vocal delivery is spot on and goes up and down in all the right places for the biggest emotion impact. It’s amazing how a song with no real chorus can be so good.

5.

A Change Is Gonna Come – Sam Cooke

Ain’t That Good News. 1964. RCA Victor

This song was not even going to be on this list, but then I ran across it while scouring my collection of music and remembered how good it was. Then I listened to it and was blown away by the level of detail that went into this arrangement. Sam’s vocals soar above the mind blowingly beautiful arrangement. The lyrics to this one actually add to the tune itself, speaking of wrongdoings in the world around him, and how social change is on its way in the form of the civil rights movement. The song flows with such ease out of Cooke that one might forget the weightiness of the content, but the song’s content is just so heavy that it’s impossible to deny it.

4.

Whatever – Oasis

Whatever EP. 1994. Creation

This song was released as a Christmas present to the U.K. from the Gallagher brothers and company. It never appeared on any full album, only being released as a single, and amazingly, it blows away anything else they’ve ever done. Think “All You Need Is Love,” but with tons of rocking energy and a snide, nonchalant attitude. The chorus speaks, “I’m free to be whatever I, whatever I choose and I’ll sing the blues if I want. I’m free to be whatever I, whatever I like, if it’s wrong or right, it’s alright.” Not exactly poetry, and the song isn’t exactly breaking any new ground either, but the song is absolutely perfect in every way, and it was going to be my #1, but perhaps the only reason it’s not at number one is because I’ve played this song so many times that at the moment, these next three are beating it, but who knows how I’ll feel in a few months. This song also pulls the same “outro performed by a string quartet” thing as “Does He Love You?” but even better. It’s so simple, but I can’t get enough of it.

3.

Mr. Blue Sky – Electric Light Orchestra

Out of the Blue. 1977. Jet

This is obviously the best Beatles song that the Beatles never wrote. The staccato guitar during the verse combined with the strings present in just about every ELO song combine to make a force that is undeniably catchy and musically challenging at the same time. This is really what makes ELO so good. I didn’t discover this song till probably Nov. 2005, and it was one of the best days of my life. I didn’t want to include two songs by the same artist in my top 10, but if I did, I probably would’ve added “Turn To Stone” on this list too because it is almost as awesome as this one. It’s a shame that just like Billy Joel, most critics at the time hated ELO for being overly creative musically (they called it pretentiousness). These days we have acts that really are pretentious (see Radiohead), but everyone loves them, even critics. I’m not knocking all Radiohead, just most everything post OK Computer. Sorry, got a little sidetracked there.

2.

Only In Dreams – Weezer

Weezer. 1994. Geffen

This has been my favorite Weezer song since about a month into me picking up Weezer’s debut album back around early 2000. It has this ostinato (a repeated motif over and over again) in the bass throughout most of the whole song, never even really resolving to the Gb major chord (excluding chorus, which never really resolves) that it wants to until the end of a 3 minute contrapuntal guitar duet when everything dies out except the bass which just retards on its own until it finally plays the single Gb we’ve all been waiting for. The song on the whole up until the guitar duet is pretty tame, but once those contrapuntal guitar lines start intertwining, my ears perk up every time. I can sing both lines at separate times upon request and when the drums finally kick back in fully at the climax of the song, I let out a sigh of relief or bang on my car wheel in exultant joy, whichever is more of an option at the time.

1.

All Is Forgiven – Jellyfish

Spilt Milk. 1993. Charisma

I always loved this song from the first time I heard it, but I didn’t realize how much I loved it until maybe April 2006. I found out about Jellyfish first semester of college in the Fall of ’02 and heard this song, and knew it was great. The constant tom-tom driven drums, the fuzzy, almost white noise distorted guitar, and the half time bass throughout. It was great. Then in April I put it on my mp3 player for the walk to school, and then I listened to it for about two weeks straight. Seriously. It runs into the next song entitled “Russian Hill” which is almost as good, but because it’s a separate song, I couldn’t include it on the list, but in my mind, they always run together and are basically one long 9 minute song. The ending just gets more and more white noise filled until you can barely take it anymore and then it just cuts off completely into the slow acoustic intro for Russian Hill. It’s perfect in every way. I think this would fall into the category of great song. And the way the song builds up right to the middle of the song and then cuts out completely except for some very VERY faint xylophone noodling, and then busts back in with some feedback directly into guitar solo. Man I love this song.