#anyways the line was so funny to me I know it didn’t elaborate on it much but I couldn’t help but picture this scene

[shhroomer]

minor spoilers for @mantequillamcwhoremick ‘s fic Chaos Plan, Chapter 20!!

How I pictured that one moment in chapter 20 when Kenny spotted Kyle and Stan

[ceilingfan5]

"Yeah I’m fully understanding the murder part, just not why you’re the one who needs to solve it??"

“So you’re not like, a cop? You gotta tell me, you know, legally you gotta tell me, if you’re a fuckin’ cop, my man.” Taako folds his arms, his shirt with the piñata fringe making this look a lot less serious than he intended. 

“I swear to you, I am not a cop,” Detective Kravitz says. “See, it says so, on my business card.” He hands Taako a business card with shiny red lettering on matte black, KRAVITZ. Private Detective for Hire. Not a cop. 

Taako flips it over. On the back is a glossy magnifying glass, highlighting his phone number. Taako snickers and pockets it. He tugs his holographic cargo skirt back up and squints at Kravitz. Kravitz poses awkwardly, trying to look serious, but not too serious, but not too unprofessional. Dork. Taako wants to eat him.

“Yeah, okay. You’re too stylish to be a cop.”

Kravitz beams, which makes Taako feel really warm suddenly. He shouldn’t be blushing. He kind of forgot he still could. 

“Anyway, I was wondering if you had any-”

“Hot clues, Scooby-doo?” Taako teases. He hops up to sit on the counter and surveys his thrift store kingdom. He crosses his legs, and watches Kravitz catch an enticing flash as he kicks his legs up. That’s right, dork, look. Look allll you want. 

“Ah, I was going to say insight, any insight into the murders committed outside your loading dock last night?”

“Aw shit, there were murders? I’m gonna barf.” Taako tries really hard to look distressed. This is sort of difficult, because he was the one who sort of exsanguinated those assholes. And they didn’t even taste that good. 

“I,” Kravitz blinks, taking out a notebook, and pulling a sleek black pen from behind his ear. God, this idiot is cute. It isn’t fair. “I was under the impression you were the one who called it in?”

“Um, nah,” Was he? Fuck. No, no, uh, he made someone else do it. Who was working this morning. “I think Magnus found ‘em, he was pretty shocked.” 

“Oh, sorry, I thought-” Kravitz scrawls something on his dumb little notebook. “Remind me your name, then, if you don’t mind?”

“Taako,” Taako says, instantly regretting not choosing an alias. He is sort of wearing a nametag, though. Not that he has to cooperate with this investigation. “Do we really have to talk about this? I feel like I’m going to pass out.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, Taako, but I’m trying to solve this murder.” 

"Yeah I’m fully understanding the murder part, just not why you’re the one who needs to solve it?" 

“Well,” Kravitz puts down his notebook, pausing. He chews something over in his head. “I don’t want to say anything untoward about the police, but,” and then he looks at Taako pointedly, and Taako snorts. 

“Yeah, I mean, you’re right, but weren’t they like. Trying to break into the place? They-” Whoops, don’t incriminate your own dumb vampire ass! “Magnus said they had guns?” 

“Good to know,” Kravitz says, pointedly writing something else down. Taako sweats. He smells really good. Like, really good. Why the fuck does he have to be playing Inspector Gadget? Can’t he come keep Taako warm at night instead? 

“Anyway, I gotta put out some more inventory. Treasure Adventure isn’t gonna thrift itself.” And he hops off the counter. Kravitz looks at him, mouth a funny line. 

“Taako, are board games with missing pieces and bead purses from 2005 more important than lives, snuffed out, by some kind of murderer?” 

“Lot of other kinds of people snuffing out lives these days?” Taako snaps. “You wanna say monsters or dickheads next?” 

“Taako, is there anything you want to elaborate on?”

“No, I don’t think there is,” Taako says firmly. “Maybe I’m just feeling unsafe in my workplace, asshole, you ever think of that? It’s terrifying to- be- here! I gotta keep selling garbage? For minimum wage? Where something like that happened! What if those guys were coming to stick the place up and I was the one that got murdered, would you be as persistent about that case, Columbo?” 

“Yes,” Kravitz says, eyes wide. His heart is pounding more about the awkward situation than it was about the dead bodies. He has a little arrhythmia. It’s kind of cute. “Of course I would.”

Taako throws his hands in the air and exclaims wordlessly, and marches off, which is the only way he saw out of the conversation. Kravitz, to his credit, stands there looking sweaty, and then goes to bother another employee instead. 

Taako hides in the breakroom and pretends he doesn’t feel weird about it. He pretends he doesn’t care about it at all. 

Funny, how things might have been different if someone had cared to look into what happened when he died. 

But he doesn’t want to think about that. He wants to think about seducing that trenchcoat-wearing loser away from the lawful side. Yeah, that’s it. For sure.

[garagepaperback]

mistake

Malfoy’s a giddy drunk, giggly, a lot of energy. A lot. He can’t get hard the fourth time and insists they try some healing instead. He actually calls it that.

Cross-legged in bed, the lists are drawn up (he’s not embarrassed at all about it. He kisses Harry sloppily anyway, bleary, sighing oh well into his mouth. He slides two fingers in there too despite there being very little vacancy left - Harry's mouth is already quite full with Malfoy’s tongue and all the incessant talking. It’s unreasonably hot and if Harry wasn't equally rat-arsed, he probably would’ve been desperately hard about it.) after Malfoy comes back from finding a biro and a half-wet quill somewhere, even though this is Harry’s flat. 

Malfoy makes himself laugh twice and finishes first which surprises Harry none at all. He's barely made it to third year when Malfoy shoves his scrap of notebook paper down, covering Harry's. The quill punched through the page in some areas; using the mattress as a desk probably hadn’t been the best idea, but then again, the same could be said for every inch of the whole thing. 

Harry looks down.

The bathroom

Stealing my wand

quidditch

dying

6th year (bathroom)

It looks like he’s spent the majority of his time drawing little diamonds for the bullet points. They are, by far, the most elaborate thing on the page. Harry says, holding it up to his face. “You wrote bathroom twice."

“You fucked up twice,” Malfoy replies haughtily, a little bit laughing. His face is so pink. Like frosting begging to be licked off. “You didn’t do something and then you did do something. That’s two,” he holds a fist up to his mouth, blinking. It takes him a moment, maybe, to remember, “wrongs.”

The word 'quidditch' is closer to a hippopotamus-shaped smudge than to language itself. Harry puts the paper to the side and goes to grab for his own but Malfoys beat him to it. 

He does a shit impression of reading - he actually moves his head back and forth as he goes (Harry’s written: ‘bullying Ron’, ‘making fun of me’, ‘being racist toward Hermione’, ‘being a classist fuck’, ‘being a blood supremacist fuck’, ‘bootlicking’ ‘actively upholding a power structure you know hurts people just because it was beneficial for you’. Or, with the last one, he’s made the attempt. After power it sort of just dissolves into a wiggly, vaguely disappointed line.).

There’s barely enough time for him to get through half of it and Malfoy says “Pfft,” before he tosses the page off to the side. It floats gently down and stays quite near them both.

“You can’t just pfft this stuff.” Harry says, alarmed that he is sort of finding it funny. "It happened."

“I know that.” Malfoy says, and pats Harry's unfinished list condescendingly. “We can just keep it over here. We both know already - we don’t have to.” He makes a circular gesture, loopy, elegant hand, like, around and around. He gestures at the crumpled page again. "Those are just things that happened a long time ago." He looks far too pointedly at Harry, staring, and lifts a finger in the air. It lands on Harry's nose. "This is an alive thing. Happening."

A little baffled, lost and still ambiently turned on, Harry insists, “What about healing or whatever."

But Malfoy's already crawling over and on top of him, the pages a crux crunching under his knees. He does a clumsy and frustratingly hot job of kissing him. An alive thing, all over.

for day 23 of @microficmay

[mangoshorthand]

No Hard Feelings- [Five Hargreeves x F Reader]. Ch 12 )

SUMMARY: You're Five's latest assassination target, but things don't go to plan and now he wants you as his fuckbuddy. Funny how what we want and what we need are rarely in line. (Five's physically aged up). Obvious smut warning but there's plot too, I swear!

Chapter One - Chapter Two - Chapter Three - Chapter Four - Chapter Five- Chapter Six - Chapter Seven - Chapter Eight - Chapter Nine - Chapter Ten - Chapter Eleven - Chapter Twelve

FINAL chapter: As the days draw on, Five becomes more desperate. Even his powers can't save you from a long, protracted death.

No smut below but proceed at your own risk anyway...because I said so, ok?!

Chapter 12: Deprivation

You drifted, consciousness misty and fleeting. You didn’t know where you were, you only knew pain. Your head throbbed like an infected tooth. It hurt to breathe.

You didn’t mean to open your eyes, but three figures came into sort-of focus. The seated man wore black, the indistinct shape of his face turned to you.

“Hey.” 

Five’s voice, gentle.

One of the other figures, huge and hulking, put a misty hand on Five’s shoulder.

“Is she-?”

The scene changed.

"We've been friends since middle school! You've known her for all of ten minutes!"

Ellie. Her hand in yours.

"And is that going to save her if she takes a turn?"

"What?"

"Five..." said an admonitory voice. One of his siblings.

"If she takes a turn,” he continued, “can you turn back time and save her?"

You could hear rain on a window.

Your hand was held by someone below the level of the bed. His thumb caressed your smallest finger. It was silent but for his quiet tenor.

“I can't stop wanting you…it's useless to say...”

You sank again.

Daytime or night time. Maybe neither. Maybe dreaming

“Well, are they keeping it under control?”

“The fuckers won’t let me get at her charts” he exhaled, angrily, “and all the time she's in pain.”

“Hey, Five, come on. It’s okay.”

“I hate this Viktor, I can’t-”

Day time? Bustle: Beeps, footsteps, ringing phones, snatches of christmas music. Hot pain in your abdomen.

“-Modafinil is ideal. Maybe Adderall. Hell, find me cocaine- any stimulant.”

“Buddy, I’m not sure…”

“Coffee’s fine for now but it won’t be enough.”

You sensed Five perching beside you. You opened your eyes a slit. Klaus sat in a chair with his feet up on your bed, rolling a cigarette.

“Hey you,” he smiled.

As Five called your name, disbelieving, the world heaved away again.

***

Now quiet again. His warmth against you. He was whisper-singing more Ray Charles, his mouth against your ear. He sang at a low tempo, voice frayed.

"I said I made up my mind, to live in memories..."

“-brought you some more clothes.”

“Thanks.”

“You need to shower, you smell like shit.”

“…No.”

His voice dragged like a sack of rocks along a stone floor.

“You need to stop this and sleep.”

“I’ll be fine.” 

He didn’t sound fine.

“Five-”

“I can only jump back a couple of minutes Diego.”

“How much are you taking?”

“It’s temporary.”

Quiet.

Five muttered and laughed to himself.

"I can't stop..."  

Barely singing now. Voice slurry, 

"Those h-happy hours...hours...happy hours...we once knew..."

Hot, moist breath on your cheek.

Beeps again.

“-on the mend. Come on man, you know it won’t be long now.”

“No. It’s nothing like a halo.”

“Huh?"

Five didn’t elaborate.

"Look, if I stay and promise to stay awake, will you sleep? I can wake you if she takes a turn.”

He didn’t respond, his silence more sinister than nonsense. You felt weight shift on your bed. 

“Five?”

“We’ll sort it right here and be happy. And you can be satisfied with that.”

“Five…" Klaus's usually carefree voice was laced with worry, "You’re talking to the chair buddy."

“I forgot to carry the one and that’s what people see, but it’s not the same.”

 He laughed deliriously, blurrily. 

“Okay old timer. Just put your head down here and-”

Your eyes took a moment to adjust to the gloom. Breathing was easier now, but it still came in wheezes. You could hear slow, deep breathing to your right. With effort, you turned your head to find the source.

“Five?” 

Your voice barely sounded, catching and squalling in your throat.

“Shhh,” a large hand on yours and a low, urgent whisper, “glad you’re awake. How are you feeling?”

Luther’s face materialized out of the dark.

“Five?” you repeated.

"He’s here, right here. But please, let him sleep for now. He isn’t well.”

Sitting on a chair beside Luther, Five was slumped forwards, his head a few inches from your shoulder. His face was gaunt and unshaven, hair dirty, body unwashed. Even in repose, he looked worried, yet he slept like the dead.

“How long?” you managed.

“Since you’ve been here? Eight days. You’ve got broken ribs, a punctured lung and some head trauma. But you’ve had an infection too and that’s what had him really worried.”

“Better now?”

“Yeah. They say the antibiotics are working now. It’s a good sign you’re awake enough to talk.”

You indicated Five.

“Why?”

“He was awake for over four days. Since your infection got bad,” he paused, “it wasn’t pretty. Klaus finally got him to sleep this morning and he’s been like this ever since. We didn’t want to move him.”

“Be okay?”

“Yeah. It gave him a touch of psychosis, but it should have gone when he wakes up.”

Your eyes were heavy.

“Tired.”

“I’ll be here." said Luther.

As your eyes closed, he woke you again.

“Hey, can you do me a favor?”

“Huh?”

“When you wake up and he’s awake, will you pretend it’s the first time?”

“Okay.”

It was easy to fall back under the veil of exhaustion and pain, the sound of Five’s deep breathing lulling you.

When your eyes opened again, the light told you it was afternoon. Luther sat in the same position by your bed while Five sat with his head back against the window pane. He was leaning so that two of his chair legs were off the floor, looking up at the ceiling, scrutinizing it as if the pattern on the tiles might hold the answer to life, the universe and everything: as if they were the mad calculations on his bedroom walls.

“Five?”

He jumped violently, his chair tipping back onto all four legs. His shocked face broke into disbelief, into joy and then, like the sun going in, his face crumpled.

“Oh God.” 

He blinked to the side of the bed, unable to waste even the seconds it would take to walk. When he rematerialized he was wiping his eyes. 

Quietly, Luther excused himself, giving you privacy and closing the door behind him.

Five kissed, first your head, then your face, then each of your eyes and, finally, buried his face in your hair.

“You're awake! Oh God. I love you. I can’t, I'm sorry- it was my-”

He mouthed silently for a couple of seconds, words not coming. You lifted a heavy arm, placing it on his back and guiding him onto the bed.

Carefully, he lay beside you, as close to the edge of the bed as he could be without falling off, giving you space. With a shaky inward breath, he nuzzled into your cheek to hide his face. 

After a few minutes of pretending he wasn't crying, his tears subsided enough that he could trust himself to speak.

“I didn’t leave you.”

“I know.”

“It’s all my fault. I didn’t think, I didn’t plan well enough. He was after me and I led him straight to you. I’m an idiot, a fucking idiot.” 

Suddenly, violently, he slammed the heel of his hand into his cheekbone.

“Five, stop,"

You reached feebly for his wrist, but your arms felt too heavy.

“You didn’t ask for this to happen.”

“I put you at risk, I hurt you again.”

“You can’t control everything. You can’t live the rest of your life imagining every contingency. You can never be happy like that.”

He pushed his balled fist hard into one eye, as if he could push his tears back into the ducts.

“This time, I’m done with it. No more Commission, no more saving the world, no more anything.”

Somehow, you knew this was a promise to himself that he couldn’t fully keep. All that was who he was.

***

As night fell, Five settled on the low cot next to your bed. You reached your hand down towards his and he took it willingly. 

“Promise me you’ll sleep tonight?”

“I think I can promise you that.”

“Why didn’t you before?”

He paused uncomfortably.

“In case you needed me.”

For a little while, you just held hands.

“Five?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you too.” 

Over the next week, you were visited by the entire Academy crowd. 

Five stayed protectively by your shoulder throughout these visits, though you weren’t sure why precisely. It was as if he thought they'd wear you out. The hypocrisy of this was stark: if anybody was worn out, it was him.

Despite his promise, In your first few days of consciousness, he slept only in tiny snatches and always startled awake with a frantic glance in your direction. Though he’d relaxed about this since you’d been able to leave the bed for a couple of hours each day, you knew he still wasn’t sleeping well.

A few days after Christmas, Lila brought Santi to visit. On arriving, she took one look at Five and grimaced but, likely out of pity, made no other comment. 

Santi was still nervous of you: only having briefly met you once before you were bedridden, injured and delicate. Though most of your bruises and facial swelling had now gone down, there was still enough evidence of them to make you appear scary to a six year old.

For most of the visit, he hid behind Lila, but you smiled at him when you caught him watching you when he thought you weren’t looking. 

“So, Santi, what did you get for Christmas?” 

He mumbled into the back of Lila’s chair. 

“What was that, honey?” you asked. 

“Lego,” supplied Lila, “an absolute buttload of lego.”

“Cool!” you said, enthusiastically, “so what are you gonna build?”

Santi eyed you before beckoning his mother. Lila, rolling her eyes, bent so that he could whisper in her ear.

“Why don’t you ask him yourself?” she said, in reply, “I’m not your messenger, darling.”

Reluctantly, giving the bed a wide berth, Santi edged around the room until he was beside Five. 

“When are you coming home?” he asked, in a small voice.

“Soon, I hope.” said Five, glancing over at you, “The doctors think it won’t be long after New Year.”

“When’s that?” Santi asks.

“A week,” Five reassured him, “Maybe two. It depends.”

There was  a short pause as Santi computed this: first taking it in, mulling it over, and then finding it acceptable.

“Will you play with robots good?”

“Huh? Sure, we’ll play robots.”

“But will you play them good? Or will you still be all dumb?”

Lila snorted.

“Gee, thanks kid. I guess I’ll try not to be dumb, but what makes you think that?”

“Because…because…” he beckoned Five in much the same way he did Lila, and Five lowered his ear towards him.

You didn’t hear exactly what he whispered, but the words: ‘kissing’ and ‘girlfriend’ were clearly audible. 

Lila caught your eye, tried to suppress a laugh, but cackled anyway. You couldn’t help joining in.

Amused, Five answered him:

“Well, while I intend to be very busy kissing my girlfriend-” 

Santi flapped his hands, trying to stop Five from divulging his top secret communication.

“-I promise I’ll play robots better than ever when I get home.”

As you improved, Five tended to skulk outside in the hallway when Ellie visited. Clearly, they’d had disagreements while you were out of it. That day was no different: he greeted her politely, holding the door open for her, but nevertheless excused himself quickly, pleading that he needed to go out and get some decent coffee. 

After he left, it took a few minutes for conversation between you and Ellie to flow properly. 

“So, what do you think of him now?”

Ellie sucked at her cheek, flaxen hair coming down around her ears. 

"He clearly cares a lot about you,” she paused, before finishing in a rush, “but when you were really ill he seemed…I don’t know, possessive ?” 

"He was just worried,” you sigh, “he thought it was his fault."

"But why?"

You didn’t want to lie to her, but you wanted her to like him too.

"There were bad people after him. That guy. The one who…” 

She nodded her understanding, waving away any need for elaboration and allowing you to avoid talking about Micheal Monroe any more. You were grateful for this. Knowing he was dead wasn’t enough to take away your fear. 

“They're all...superheroes, I guess, and I got caught up in it. He feels responsible."

She pulled a concerned face, "I guess I understand that. He's just very…intense."

You squeezed her hand. You could understand this, and even agree to an extent.

"He is. But he's been through a lot, more than you or I could imagine. He's got his own shit to work out. But he's worth it. And he needs me.”

You paused, looking up from your clasped hands and into her eyes.

“And I think I need him too. I love him, El."

She nodded and squeezed your hand in return, the worry not quite leaving her eyes, even so. 

The physical therapists having apparently decided they’d tortured you enough, it was decided that you should be transferred to outpatient care in mid January. By this time, you were able to move around unaided (though not without pain) and the dressings were gone from your head, no longer necessary. 

Five could sense your nerves as the prospect of going home rose.

“Do you want me to move in for a while?” 

“No," your eyes prickled, voice panicky, "I don’t want to go back there. I can’t - not ever.”

Your blood was probably still spattered up the wall where Monroe had bashed your head, the dining chairs still left in the same position. You’d never forget the feel of that cheap carpet against your cheek as you lay on it, damp with blood. The smell of the dust trodden into it by years of previous tenants. 

Five’s hand on your cheek brought you back to the present. 

“Then you never have to." he soothed, kissing your trembling upper lip, "Come home with me. I can sleep on the floor at home until we can work out your next steps.”

You wondered afterwards why you didn't stay with Ellie again. The truth was, the idea of sleeping every night with him nearby, protecting you, was comforting in a way you wouldn't have been able to articulate. His attic was the only place you could imagine recovery. 

You didn’t need his help to climb the Academy steps on the evening of your return, but he didn’t feel comfortable without taking your arm. He led you through the entrance hall and into the living room, where Lila stood behind the bar.

“I think this calls for margaritas!”

With some misgivings about leaving you in such dubious company, Five nevertheless blinked upstairs to drop off your bags in his room. To his surprise, he found it already full. 

The unexpected entrance caused Luther to hit his head on the sloping ceiling, dropping the new bed he was maneuvering into position. Cursing softly, he put out a hand to still the swinging lampshade. Diego stopped in the act of moving the battered old slipper chair.

“Shit, you’re early!”

The room smelled of fresh paint, Sloane was unfolding bedsheets while Klaus and Viktor slid Five’s desk back against a newly-dried wall trimmed in blue-black. They had added a rug and another bookcase, already half full of books that had until now been leaning in a precarious stack. Five looked around, placing the bags on the floor.

“You need room for two,” Diego explained, in answer to Five’s dumbstruck look, placing the slipper chair in his new reading nook. “Plus I think you’re overdue to redecorate.”

Santi stood on the desk chair, dragged to the opposite wall. He was drawing on the upper portion of the wall with a marker; a lumpy, smiling figure with wiggly lines all around him.

“It’s all dry erase,” Luther, pointed out "Just in case. For doomsday math, y’know?”

“We moved the old toys to one of the empty rooms.” says Viktor, “Figured Santi needs a playroom and you need your space.”

“Yeah…” says Five, “you guys-”

Klaus cut him off, “And your other toys are in the bedside cabinet. I’ve seen things today that I can’t unsee.”

Five, torn between mortification and a strong emotion he couldn’t quite place, said nothing for the moment. He stared around. All their work. All their care. And there, on the new bookshelf, Anna Karenina . It was like Delores was there, giving him a little wave.

“Thank you,” he said, softly, “I'm truly touched.” 

It wasn’t much, but his face spoke volumes. He was home: safe and loved.

“You deserve it, old man” Diego said, thumping him genially on the shoulder.

Trying to throw off some of the emotional intensity, Five turned his attention to his nephew and the figure he was drawing on the new dry erase. 

“Is that me Santi?" he asked, taking in the squiggly lines around the figure, "Why do I smell?”

“Not smell. You’re blinking ”

“Oh, sure.”

“You do smell though. Smell of poop.”

Five picked him up, swung him round and kissed his head. Then, turning to the rest of his family:

“Really. This is…amazing.”

“Come on, bring it in!” said Klaus, sweeping everyone together, “I need a full group hug. That’s it. That’s the stuff.”

It was awkward, but nice. 

As they broke apart and headed downstairs together, Santi scampered ahead with Diego and Klaus steered Five to the back of the group.

“That playboy’s gotta be an antique...and where did you get that teeny pink buttplug? So petite!”

“Klaus, really?”

“And, I have to know, do you wear that pair of panties or is it a, you know, a sniffin’ thing?"

Five blinked downstairs.

“It’s okay if it’s both,” Klaus called over the banister.

Everyone except you had already drunk at least three of Lila’s deadly margaritas. After just one, you became nervous about mixing them with your pain meds.

The evening devolved into karaoke, a sure sign that things were getting messy. Five, in particularly high spirits and particularly drunk, was singing the worst tribute to Celine Dion you’d ever heard before or since. He was trying to sing much higher than he was at all capable of. Lila and Viktor sat either side of you, all three of you cringing at every horribly off- key note.

Luther, Sloane and Klaus swayed together, laughing and wincing as Five missed notes screechily. Diego hadn’t descended the stairs after putting Santi to bed, likely passed out on his and Lila’s bed after far too many drinks.

“CAUSE I AM YOUR LADY-”

“Y’know, " said Viktor, watching Five affectionately,  “I don't think I've seen him this happy since we were kids.”

“-AND YOU ARE MY MAAAN-”

“God, maybe it would have been easier on us all if you had died!” Lila whined, covering her ears with two throw pillows as Viktor smiled in your direction

 “I’ve noticed he likes to sing worse the happier he’s feeling.” 

You laughed, “I hope that’s true, because that means he’s very happy.”

“WHENEVER YOU REACH FOR ME-”

“He’s never known how to love halfway.” Viktor continued,  “He dedicated his entire life to getting back to us. Never stopped, never gave up-”

“-I’LL DO ALL THAT I CAAAN”

“-and now he loves you like that, he’ll never stop that either.”

You took Viktor’s hand and listened to Five finish.

“-SOMETIMES I AM FRIGHTENED BUT I’M READY TO LEARN THE POWER OF LOOOOOOVE”

With the end of the song still playing, Five threw down the microphone with a squall of feedback and bowed, leaving all three of you on the sofa grimacing intensely. Only Lila clapped.

Luther took up the mic as Five walked over to you, leading from the head with hands in his jacket pockets; his characteristic pose, only enhanced by the booze.

“I was amazing, wasn’t I?”

“I think I prefer your Ray Charles.”

His face lit up at these words.

"You remember that?"

You nodded, and  his drunken smile turned sentimental. He held out a hand to you, trying his best for suave, though ruining the effect slightly by swaying on his feet. 

“Dance with me?”

You squeezed his hand and he pulled you carefully to your feet and towards the edge of the room.

As Luther began to murder I Wanna Know What Love Is , Five pulled you close. You revolved on the spot and he lay his forehead against yours. His face, though happy, was careworn. For the first two verses, you just danced together, Five surprisingly graceful for someone with that much tequila in him.

“You know,” you whispered,  “you won’t always be able to keep me safe.”

“I can try,” he said, and then, “I’m a dangerous man to know.”

“And if that’s part of being in your life, then that’s the price I pay. It’s a good trade-off from where I’m standing.”

As the chorus swelled and the others sang along with Luther, Five raised his hands to cup your face,

“I can teach you to defend yourself. I could start training you as soon as you’re fully better.”

You chuckled.

“That sounds like it would be a huge turn-on for you."

He seemed to consider this, eyes narrowing slightly as he thought over the idea, assessed it, and found it true.

“That’s a coincidence of which I intend to take full advantage.”

“Good,” you smiled, “Then we’re on.”

With the others occupied, he leaned you against a pillar and gave you a lingering kiss, tenderness giving way to lust the longer he went. 

You broke away from him,

“Take me to bed, Five."

And he did.

End of Part 1

Tag list: (lmk if you want to join) @dilfjohhny , @sunsunhe, @w4stedtr4sh,@nevbrooke-555

PART 2 >> HERE

For a preview of things to come, check out the series masterpost Alternatively, join me on A03 where it's already posted.  Here is a link to the whole series

I would really appreciate any comments before you go: what did you enjoy, what could I have done better?

[another-bad-driver]

As promised… Matsby!!

So a couple months ago, I was telling my mom about how I had just finished The Chosen and the Beautiful by Nghi Vo because I really liked it. The conversation turned to “How would you expand on The Great Gatsby?”, and I had no real answer. My mom, however, came up with a concept almost on the spot:

How did Dan Cody become Dan Cody?

I asked her to elaborate because, of course, I was interested in what she meant. She said she thought it would be great if there was a prequel to Gatsby where we got to find out how Dan Cody gained all of his money. She kind of just wanted the life and times of Dan Cody. So we mused about that for a little while. And then it sort of… faded into oblivion for a month?

But last night, she told me that she’d been thinking about her “Dan Cody prequel” again, so often that she kept thinking it was canon. So, of course, I made her tell me everything she had in her head about it. And we built in a little extra lore together.

So, without further ado… welcome to the Gatsby novel my mom will never write!! (And… it’s not a Dan Cody prequel at all.)

So Dan Cody basically sets off a chain reaction when he takes in Jay. By this I mean Jay, after establishing himself and getting all the money he needs, becomes the mentor to another kid trying to make it.

And that’s literally all I know about Dan Cody because honestly my mom was really focused on the OC she created instead of Dan Cody

The OC is this kid who my mom calls “Matsby” and it’s pretty much short for “Mentored-by-Gatsby” cause she doesn’t actually have a name for him.

Anyway so Jay meets Matsby in England (literally I don't know why in England but that’s what my mom said) and pretty much just adopts him cause he’s like

“Whoa… Dan Cody mentored me… I can ALSO mentor a kid! I’m so glad Dan Cody taught me how to fit in with rich people so I can teach other people how…”

So Gatsby teaches Matsby how to act, how to “old sport”... you know. Basically from the ages of 14-19 Matsby is learning Life Skills from Jay and Wolfsheim.

Anyway so while the book is taking place, Matsby is like… somewhere else? Failing to fit in with other rich people? Concocting his own empire of bootlegging?

The point is he’s not in the picture because he’s on a trial business deal for the summer. Like an internship or something. I don’t know.

But Nick doesn’t even know about Matsby! So he can’t call him or anything for the funeral. So Matsby doesn’t even know about Gatsby’s death until Wolfsheim does, but Matsby doesn’t really know all of the details.

So Matsby mopes for a little while and then ends out that section of the story with something that implies there’s a promising future for him, even though Gatsby is gone…

ON TO THE NEXT SECTION!!

It’s been like 15 years. Matsby is VERY successful. He’s making money even though it’s the Great Depression. Everything is going great for him.

However, our least favorite couple (the Buchanans) is NOT doing so well… they lost a whole lot of their money to the market crash. Tom is given a tip to ask Matsby for help.

And you’d think this would be a point of contention, yeah? Matsby would refuse Tom? But Jay coincidentally just… didn’t really tell Matsby about why he was throwing all the parties. So Matsby doesn’t really have anything against Tom. He allows him into his ambiguous business. (Ambiguous because my mom didn’t actually name a line of business for Matsby…)

So Tom starts making money again, and he and Matsby are kind of pals. As much as you can be when you know one of you has the high ground.

Anyway one day Tom invites Matsby to come over for dinner to properly meet his wife and daughter. And so, at dinner, they start making conversation, and the night is going really well…Until Matsby off-handedly ends a sentence with “old sport”

Tom and Daisy just sort of look at each other funny for a moment and keep the conversation going in a marginally more awkward tone.

But a little later when Matsby does it a second time, Tom finally asks where he picked that up. Matsby tells him he used to know someone who said it often. Tom asks when Matsby knew this someone. Matsby tells him 15 years ago, before he died. Shot in his own pool.

Daisy and Tom really know they’re fucked then. But what can they do? Matsby’s their ticket to the luxurious life they want to stay in. Daisy makes a meaningless comment in an effort to distract from the silence, but the rest of the night is too careful, too tense.

And Pammy is just watching this all. She’s heard the whispers her parents think are too quiet for her to hear. She can piece together parts of the puzzle, but she doesn’t know all of what fits into where. Not yet.

Uhhh so eventually Matsby finds out that the Buchanans played a part in Gatsby’s death

He recruits Pammy and they’re basically pen pals (because she suspects her parents, too) while Matsby goes on a search for the truth about Gatsby

Because Pammy told Matsby about her mother’s cousin who used to be Gatsby’s neighbor (Nick)

So Matsby goes to track down Nick, but Nick refuses because he doesn’t want to revisit that summer and also because he doesn’t want to be indirectly responsible for the revenge Matsby is attempting to exact on the Buchanans

And that’s pretty much where my mom ended out. But I have my own ideas in this vein so like… stay tuned for part 2??

[lizhly-writes]

God, asking abt Yuhang made me remember the whole THING abt the mobster Haoran found KO'd on the street (bc last we saw Yuhang was when Haoran was??? Drugged???). Was there already a follow up piece to that or did I just have an elaborate fever dream abt Haoran getting this really poorly disguised stalker following him around? But honestly the way Haoran is (incidentally or otherwise) collecting the other male leads like pokemon is so funny to me.

AHAHA yeah that! I did, as it happens, write a followup. But it never made it to tumblr, and while I did play around with creepy stalker vibes, I was going to scrap it, since it didn’t quite vibe with what I was trying to plot out. I don’t believe you’re making this up from whole cloth though – I think you might be remembering bits from Chen Lihua’s stalker over here.

Well, we’re only at two love interests for Yang Haoran! Three, if you count Jiang Mingxi! Just enough for a Pokemon battle, but no more. I have not been planning on giving him more, but I will admit that I throw things in depending on whether or not I find it funny, soooo we'll see.

Anyway! Anyway!!! Your ask got me thinking about the followup again, so I started working on it. Here's a piece of it, under the cut.

Yang Haoran really thought he had successfully gotten away with it.  He’d been a bit nervous, but after a week with nothing out of the ordinary – well, more out of the ordinary than usual – he thought it would be fine to let his guard down.

He was so very, very wrong.

One day, as Yang Haoran was coming into work, he found a vaguely familiar man already at his desk, absently tracing fingers over the characters on Yang Haoran’s nameplate.

“...Hello, can I help you?” said Yang Haoran, whose memory for faces was not exactly the best.

It worried him that the man was vaguely familiar. Vaguely familiar meant that Yang Haoran had met him before, and he was a little too finely dressed to be a typical office drone – so, likely a higher-up that Yang Haoran had seen at a meeting or something similar.

Yang Haoran did not think there were very good reasons for a higher-up to unexpectedly be at his desk. Sure, Yang Haoran was a nepotism hire, so he couldn’t be fired, but nepotism only took you so far when the people who got you the position didn’t really like you very much in the first place.

“Was there a meeting this morning?” Yang Haoran said cautiously. “I don’t seem to remember getting an invite?”

“You saved my life,” said the man, and abruptly Yang Haoran figured out why the man looked familiar.  He looked a lot different under the office lights and not covered in his own blood.  

The first thought Yang Haoran had was, oh, good, I’m not in trouble.

The second thought Yang Haoran had was, I should have let him die. 

“What,” Yang Haoran said slowly, instead of fuck dammit, like he wanted to.

The man smiled. It was a nice smile, as far as smiles went, and Yang Haoran would appreciate it a lot more if it wasn’t caused by his own mistakes coming back to haunt him. “I’m sorry, I should introduce myself. I’m Wu Youxuan. You’re Yang Haoran.”

It wasn’t a question. Yang Haoran wished it was a question.

“Yes, I see you’ve read my nameplate,” Yang Haoran said. He should have left it home. It wasn’t as if It was a real nameplate, he wasn’t high-ranking enough for the company to actually give him one. No, this was a joke that Zhao Yuhang had presented to him, saying something along the lines of “You don’t think you’ll be important enough for people to know your name? But you’re so important in my heart, A-Hao! Everyone should know who you are!”

...Anyway.

Yang Haoran smiled – pleasant, professional, and puzzled. “I’m… not sure what you’re talking about. I think you might have the wrong person?”

Let no one say that Yang Haoran was a bad liar.

“Is that so? It’s just – your face looks very familiar. I was in, ah, a predicament a little while ago, and I could have sworn…”

“Are you sure it wasn’t someone who looked five to six points similar? Maybe I just have one of those faces.”

Yang Haoran knew for a fact that he did not have one of those faces. He was supposed to be a character worthy of the attentions of the female lead, capable of making the main character feel unworthy by merely existing. The young master of the Yang family, well-dressed, head high, hair swept out of his face, had an objectively striking appearance and presence, quite possibly aided by some plot-driven aura attached to his person.

The key was that Yang Haoran, messy-haired and with the style and demeanor of an average salaryman, didn’t.

[panthera-tigris-venenata]

If you're still doing the Descendants prompts? "What do you mean I'm grounded?" CJ yelled into the phone. "You can't ground me!"

I am still doing the prompts! When I have the time and when I like them, anyway.

I hope you enjoy this!

And al tinny bit of background info for this fic. There are following background relationships at play: Harriet Hook/Anthony Tremaine (Because that’s my default by now, honestly), and Ben/Harry Hook/Uma (Because it’s funny in this prompt.) If you look for it, you might also find CJ/Freddie, but, you know. Romantic relationships are a suggestion, and the only characters that appear are Ben and CJ anyway.

So, right. The story. Enjoy!

Ben takes a deep breath and presses the call button: The cheery dial tone sounds through the otherwise empty room. He should figure out how to change it, but oh, well. Still better than the Auradonian hymn his previous phone had as a default for everything.

The tone stops, replaced by mildly annoyed „Yeah?“ and a blur of gold and red appears on the screen. He stares at it for a bit.

Well.

He did not expect her to actually pick up.

„Hey? Beastie-princeling?“ 

Ben frowns at the unnecessarily elaborate and also factually incorrect nickname.

„What d’ya want?“

The camera jumps and jumbles around and momentarily focuses on the background, and, oh sweet heavens, she is running. She is running.

That, knowing CJ Hook, is never a good sign. (There are no good signs whatsoever when it comes to her, Ben thinks.)

Anyway, he gathers all his nerves and calmly states:

„CJ. You are grounded.“

The picture comes to halt and the camera abruptly focuses on CJ’s dishevelled expression, and, wait, is that soot on her cheek?!

„What?!“ she yells into the phone, „You can’t do that!“

„Why not?“ he asks, trying very hard to start calm.

She looks into the distance, frowns, and then grins: „You don’t have the authority to do so! Now, excuse me for a moment–“

The video starts jumping around again, and Ben tries very hard to ignore the faint curses and, wait, are those gunshots?!

What on Earth is she doing?!

„CJ!“ he calls out, „What is going on?!“

Harry would probably be upset if anything happened to his little sister, and, goodness, Ben himself has grown somewhat attached to the troublemaker. Against his better judgement, but hey. The other people who kidnapped him also turned out to be quite great, so honestly, cease point.

No answer, though. Just more blurry lines and more shouting and CJ‘s fast breathing. He is surprised she didn’t hang up yet, but honestly, maybe she just forgot he was calling. That happens.

„CJ!“ He calls out again anyway.

„Ssh!“ she shushes him, whisper-yelling, „Not now, princey boy! I’m running for my life, can’t you see?!“

…Is it bad that he can’t actually tell if she’s exaggerating or not? It is, right?

What did she do this time?

Honestly, as if the robbed bank from yesterday  wasn’t enough!

(The only reason why she isn’t running from the police right now is that when she robbed the bank, she proceeded to throw the money up in the air at the steps and throw a dance party to It’s Raining Men for all the bystanders and staff to attend. Oh, and the fact that he still doesn’t have a functional police force, as Uma keeps reminding him.)

So Ben is left staring at blurry colours and imagining the worst case scenario. He’d rather not, thank you.

And thankfully, it’s not too long until CJ’s voice pulls him out of his thoughts again.

„Yeah?“ she asks, „What did you want, majesty?“

Ben knows only about four other people who can say „Majesty“ like it is an insulting nickname at best. Two of them are her siblings.

He breathes out and for the second time that day, he tells her that she is grounded.

„What?! You can’t do that!“

Yep. Just like the first time. He can’t help the smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

„Why not?“

„Eh, I don’t know. You just don’t have the authority to do so,“ she waves her hand dismissively, flashing bloodied knuckles in front of the camera. Oh, dear.

Now, ben doesn’t really like pulling rank, however much certain other people seem to enjoy doing so, but in this case? He genuinely thinks CJ forgot that he is the High King of Auradon.

„…And?“

„I’m the High King, CJ.“

„…I heard you the first time. I just don’t know how that gives you the authority to ground me.“

Of course she doesn’t.

„Hey, excuse me for a moment–“ She partially covers the camera with her palm and yells something Ben is fairly sure are horrific death threats in pirate slang, too wild for him to keep up. Not that he particularly wishes to hear her death threats. Just saying. She can be very creative, and, in fact, Ben would be very glad if she toned that down a little.

„Yeah, we’re good. Where were we? Oh, right! Just because you are the king doesn’t mean that I have to listen to you!“

Ben silently starts praying.

Then he says: „I’m also dating your older brother. That gives me some authority to ground you, right?“

She giggles. She giggles and giggles, like the insufferable menace she is.

„No!“ she tells him, voice chiming like jingle bells, „It does not!“

„What? But Uma grounds you all the time!“

CJ makes a face at him, sticking her lips out in a caricature of a pout: „Well, yes, but, you see, boy king, Uma is actually scary. Unlike you.“

Well. That hurt. 

But it was also true.

Uma is scary, in the best and nicest way possible.

So, you know what, fair.

But…

„And what about Anthony Tremaine?“

And she goes into a ramble. Of course she does. Ben quietly ponders his life decisions as CJ explains that no, while Anthony is not really that scary, he will bitch about her and Dizzy might overhear and Dizzy will definitely tell Celia and then Freddie will know and Freddie will then be cross with her and she doesn’t  like when Freddie does that and also Anthony knows where her blackmail book is–

And Ben would say that this whole affair has more to do with the fact that Anthony has no qualms calling Harriet the second CJ starts being annoying than anything else.

Speaking of which.

„Either you and I come to an understanding, or I call Harriet.“

She whistles and grins into the camera: „You are learning, baby beast, you are learning. You must have some good influence on you. I’m willing to lay low for, say, two days if you don’t tell Harriet.“

„That–“ In the second it takes Ben’s brain to catch up, she is speaking again, because god forbid a Hook ever gave him a time to think.

„Great! See ya later, Benny boo! Gotta go, running for my life and all that! Anyway, salutations and all that, and don’t bother giving my greetings to Harry! Byeee!“

And she hung up. 

Of course she did.

But, well, Ben tried. And two days is better than nothing, right? 

…Right?

[rambling-robot]

I have figured out Why Exactly something bothers me and will angrily elaborate on it.

TL;DR: I’m upset when people get mad at a pet for not perfectly understanding them, and especially when they also express surprise that a pet seems to have perfectly understood them.

I am bothered by people who give clear, enunciated instructions to their pets and then get genuinely upset when the pets do not obey to the letter. And I don’t mean, “the trained dog didn’t respond to the ‘sit’ command.” I am pulling from a very specific and recent scenario, where someone was playing with the cat (poking around the cat’s face, the cat was almost ready to swat their finger because she was excited and being poked at and that’s what happens) and they said, “I’m going to be mad if she bites me.”

yeah, man. she’s a cat, you’re poking at her, you’re playing, she’s gonna bite.

“No, I’m going to be mad if she bites me because then it’ll be because she’s angry. Playing is fine but I’m not going to tolerate angry biting.”

YOU. ARE PLAYFULLY POKING AT A CAT. A CAT THAT IS CLEARLY GETTING EXCITED. AND WANTING TO ENGAGE. WHAT? WHAT DO YOU WANT HER TO DO? POKE YOU BACK? ENGAGE IN WITTY BANTER? PULL OUT PLAYING CARDS? EITHER ACCEPT THE RISK OF BITING OR DON’T PLAY. SHE’S NOT A DOG. YOU CAN’T TRAIN HER TO NOT BITE YOU DURING PLAY LIKE YOUR PARENTS’ SHIH TZU. PARTIALLY BECAUSE PLAYING WITH DOGS INVOLVES TOYS THAT THEY ARE OTHERWISE OCCUPYING THEIR MOUTHS WITH.

And then. Then. The cat sniffs their finger, and gently bites it. And the person laughs and says, “Look at that! She must’ve understood what I said, because this isn’t angry biting. I’m surprised. She got me, haha!”

So you’re telling me. That you’re setting up arbitrary rules that the cat is not expected to understand in any real capacity, but she will be punished if she doesn’t adhere to them. But if she follows the rule she doesn’t know about, then it’s a “loophole” and you’re going to laugh, because she’s not really listening, that’s so funny to imagine!

And from the cat’s perspective? She’ll never know! Biting is okay! But only sometimes! If she ever gets the timing wrong—not that she’ll ever know the pattern—then she’s going to be smacked for it! By someone she rarely spends time with! (Pointing out that the cat is following natural behavior is considered “correcting” and “fact-checking.” And the other person only gets defensive and it won’t change what they’re doing/thinking.)

Maybe I’m just autistic and I’m projecting onto an animal. But you can understand why this bothers me, yeah? Why getting mad at a cat for breaking a rule she can’t possibly know is upsetting? When the cat is reacting to someone initiating play or intentionally irritating her and the response is to punish her because of what they’re doing?

Anyways. If you want a snuggly little lap cat to do nothing but cuddle with you and understand everything you’re expecting from it, don’t get a cat. They are individuals with varying personalities and if you get a cat thinking you’ll automatically have a cozy little friend, then you’re going to be disappointed. If you adopt a cat and also have to work all day, that’s fine, but don’t expect the cat to be your immediate best friend forever. Sometimes they are, and that’s awesome!!! I love fuzzy feline friends!!!! But don’t expect it. Don’t buy a cat because you’ve seen so many pictures and videos of other people’s cats.

And along the same lines, I also hope this person doesn’t have children. And that might sound really petty, but if you get irritated that your cat isn’t the precious perfect baby you hoped it’d be and now it’s forever banned from your room because of one accident, don’t have kids.

[valkyurii]

I thought the game was trying to reassure us actually xD In a manner like, "We know we've stated multiple times that Malenia is undefeated. But worry not. You'll be fighting a half-dead version of her! She's defeatable!"

I guess there's always room to argue how intentional the blooms are since it's vague enough. Though, my opinion is… hmm.. Regardless of whether Malenia actively chooses to bloom, I think significant feelings of despair will inevitably be present. Because it's only natural to despair on the brink of death, no? Unless she has zero survival instincts. And it's not as if she can find closure like Millicent. During the first bloom, she fights with purpose. During the second, she's not expecting a fight. In both cases, whyever would she instinctually willingly go down just because she's "not supposed to win"? Anyone else in her position would be resigned to carrying their resentments to the grave. But that doesn't happen for her since she harbours a parasitic time bomb which exploits the human condition. These are my current messy thoughts anyway. But I don't particularly care if she bloomed on purpose.

Maybe Malenia's combo of difficulty + novelty needs time for evaluating or adjusting to. Maybe that's why more people are coming round to her now. She's like an acquired taste in a way? Which also means some people just hold feelings of aversion towards her.

Sorry to give you an awkwardly late response. Sometimes I overthink what to say even when anonymous. Btw, my ask isn't an essay question with a limited word count :P rant if you wish. I enjoy reading your response. Thank you. And I too hope you're well.

Hey anon, so sorry for the late reply I haven’t been on here much this past week 😅

Oh you’re right though it could well be the game trying to reassure us I was mostly joking lol. What Gideon says about her being in the Haligtree, but potentially being dead would give us indication that she may not be in a good state when we get there. Also speaking of Gideon I always find it interesting how he never seems to elaborate much on her. There’s an option to ask about the others but not her or Mohg or Miquella. Mohg I get cause no one knows he’s the Lord of Blood. But I still think it’s funny how the All-Knowing knows nothing about the Haligtree or the twins. And then when we tell him about Miquella he’s like “maybe we should kill him because I do not want to be around if he wakes up”

I agree with what you say about the bloom. Despair seems to be a key factor according to Gowry and while I tend to take a lot of what he says with a grain of salt, he does seem to be on to something there. It certainly seems to be the case with Millicent given the two outcomes of her questline. I don’t doubt it would be the same for Malenia as well. During her fight with Radahn she was physically and mentally exhausted by the end, making it harder to fight off the rot, which we know takes a lot of willpower on her part. Then there’s the possibility of her failing to win the war. You put all that into perspective and it’s easy to see why she acted out of desperation like that. That feeling of despair is bound to set in. This is all just my speculation though as I know it’s a very controversial topic at this point. It’s hard to discuss these things at times as there’s so many people who think the war was over nothing and Malenia just threw a tantrum because she couldn’t beat the Big Man and she just wanted to maintain her undefeated status. It’s so funny I swear, if she didn’t have that line about never knowing defeat people wouldn’t be so upset over this.

"During the first bloom, she fights with purpose. During the second, she's not expecting a fight. In both cases, whyever would she instinctually willingly go down just because she's "not supposed to win"?"

Yeah this is something that’s always confused me with this fandom. Because I am genuinely curious as to how people think Malenia should have responded in either situations. People seem to think she should have let both Radahn and the tarnished win simply because it would have been easier for both us and him, instead of using everything at her disposal to try and take us both out. They act like she should have just lay down and died. I mean god forbid Malenia fights with everything she has. This is like that argument I saw a while ago that was like “why does Malenia attack us on site?” I mean are people really mad at that?? We break into her home and stand in front of her armed to the teeth looking for a fight. It’s hardly surprising she wants to kill us lmao. The amount of bosses that do the same thing and yet no one ever complains when Godfrey opens his fight by launching at us in a similar way.

Sorry this just turned into a rant post. I appreciate the message anon and again I’m sorry I took so long to reply and didn’t really have much to say <3

[icharchivist]

icha!! it’s been a while since I’ve sent one of these in but! I finally started summer troupe act 2! so. here’s my commentary lol. only gotten thru the first 8 episodes but so far my feeling is this: 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

that’s it. has anyone ever made the su(m)meragi pun yet. (I chose the first m in summer bc it’s the red m on tenma’s jacket)

ok for real this time I’ll go in chronological order but. I am naturally predisposed to like kumon I think bc seeing his sprite I immediately went oh I ADORE you in my head. like I saw him and was like YOU! I love you and I would kill for you. is that normal idc. also I had his bday card when I played a3 so special affection as he was the only rookie ssr I had. but it’s just! he’s just like :D how could I ever reject him?? he’s got such a lovely smile!!

these were the thoughts I had starting up and then. well and then I immediately bust out laughing bc.

me: nice to meet you kumon, my dearest, sweet summer child—

kumon, about natsugumi: “they only do comedy, right? no offense, but doing plays with nothing but stupid, empty gags sounds pretty lame to me.”

me: …ah. so you’ve chosen death, then.

just kidding I LOVE when characters r assholes. this doesn’t even make my initial impression wrong bc kumon is still such an absolute sweetheart but I think it’s so funny. immediately I was like. oh I cannot wait to throw tenma at him it would be hilarious. he’d take it as a personal challenge. and like he absolutely did so I was right lmao. juza chiding him immediately is very good. I do love how kumon is like banri hater #1 but speedruns his disinterest in like. 3 days it’s great. I just feel like even tho they’re very different ppl they actually would have things in common and hate to admit it. and kumon is like u have pretty hair! when he means to insult him lol. anyways the reactions to that comment r so good. yuki going “he sounds like a certain hack when he first joined” and then misumi doing an impression of tenma saying “im not a comedy guy” was sooo good, I definitely felt the voice was recognizably tenma even as I didn’t remember the line misumi was quoting so. that’s how u know it’s good.

I am sooo deeply interested in juza’s reluctance regarding kumon acting as well as how kumon brushes off his whole baseball team situation. like clearly it was more complex than him quitting. this is smthing I do have to say which is that I unfortunately got a little spoiled and so I know kumon has some kind of health issues, which I assume is the reason he quit. didn’t muku quit track and field due to a sports injury, too…? wild. but anyways the way kumon talks abt the baseball team and having that… settled is so. awkward and unsure and uncomfortable tho. made me remember like. ah. there’s a bunch of times I’ve not wanted to elaborate about suddenly fucking up something really badly, too…

idk. it’s very interesting bc juza clearly knows what’s up with kumon but seeing how he reacts to the baseball stuff I’m not sure if he knows… Everything? it makes me want to dig into their sibling dynamic a bit more

but then tenma steps in and invites kumon to the road show!! i clutched my heart I was like oh he’s come so far as a leader… sigh, even though summer troupe rightfully teases him, he’s quite reliable, isn’t he? im so going to extrapolate all of this into the tenma juza dynamic thoughts later ofc. but the way yuki and sakyo r both like “free labor” in response to tenma’s suggestion… adds one more point to my feeling that yuki probably has the like most financial knowledge regarding the troupe next to sakyo.

also ace pitcher for the baseball team!! that is really not something u just… quit. I am excited to see the full story there. it seems like kumon gets a lot of anxiety? which. extremely relatable i not only panic often but I can panic pretty hard. but tenma was so nice, being so oblivious like ah I bet u can’t sleep the night before a big trip! pfft. love that yuki knew he was looking up tourist info bc he could hear him muttering, but clearly since tenma didn’t know that he knew, it meant that yuki heard him and just. didn’t tell him to shut up. is he just used to ignoring tenma’s voice so he slept easily. idk.

like I said kumon and banri kinda feel similar in some ways to me. I rly love how they squabble. and that juza is like doing his own thing and they r like mutually fighting so jimins defense of his brother is kind of ineffective lol

i cheered when tenma was like oh guess I’m sitting with u kumon. and then I realized. ah. it’s rookie and leader as the leads. idiot. ofc they’re gonna set up a dynamic. the story was not responding to u wanting to throw tenma at kumon. (also, the train background also rly looks like an airplane?) but it’s been so long since I’ve seen the a3 kids and stuff that whenever tenma shows up I wanna reach through the screen and hug him. i love them.

also it’s so cute that kumon calls juza niichan. I get why the translation just has it as juza but. I can hear. and! kumon like almost immediately being proven wrong and apologizing was so fun. its also rly interesting to see how he’s sorta cautious and hesitant around tenma abt stuff while tenma is like. immediately nice! the kumon sprite when he’s nervous genuinely tugs at my heart so easily. it’s just like the side eye the uncomfortable vibes. please be okay. but I love seeing tenma be nice. like, kumon gushing over how cool juza is as lansky and then tenma praising juza’s fight choreography as due to his experience! he’s so. man he’s rly so. like it’s such a natural follow up to how very clearly tenma noticed and adored the specific quirks of his summer troupe in act 1… ofc he notices these things abt the other actors! not to get all teary abt it but. tenma… it’s kinda nice like this, yknow? to have someone that might be just excited abt what he has to say. although I love it when summer troupe teases him haha. but the way kumon was like oh wow! what was ur second play like! and tenma was like. we… we can talk about that later… like lmao no one wants to discuss sardine search.

again wild how ready kumon is to just square up with banri. I’m glad it did not actually happen. I was confused at first as to why kumon was to totally blown away by water me, and then I checked and it seemed like juza just came alone to see muku’s performance? tho muku obviously admires juza im kind of interested in exactly how close he was with kumon, since it doesn’t seem like they know each other That Well.

love how when homare is like let’s go to paris! for a road show, hisoka’s response is that it’s too far which is a pain. im taking the fact that he didn’t say anything else that he’s fluent in french and would be fine, so it’s literally just distance.

when kumon’s like asking to be tested to get in, juza tells him ”you can’t give up and quit in the middle like you did with your baseball team” which. I do think juza feels a lot of responsibility for mankai so I assume that’s part of him being a little harsh but I really feel the baseball thing is a bit more complicated. but yuki saying that kumon is tenmas responsibility… nice! honestly I was so surprised he actually had to ask to join natsugumi after he passed his audition bc like. I just assumed they’d adopted him already lol. anyways KUMON LIKES THE TRIANGLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they’re sharp and pointy like his brother! so sweet.

for the rehearsals kumons va was very good at showing how rough he is regarding acting! I feel like kumon in general has this like, overexcitement in his voice that rly bleeds thru like even when he’s improved a little? god I love the acting in this game. tenma coaching him was so good… the way like u could see kumon directly improve and then audibly smile when tenma complimented him… so sweet! tenmas gotten a lot nicer hasn’t he.

when igawa showed up I had a fear response just bc. I don’t like tenmas parents. I think tenma can deal with them fine but that doesn’t mean I like it for him. wish he wasn’t the lead. but an audition chance! very cool… the famed director that’s like known overseas is called shirasawa, and I have to wonder if that’s a reference to like. akira kurosawa films? like… kuro-sawa -> shiro-sawa -> shirasawa. just a thought lol bc he’s the only like. famous in the west japanese director i know, though the time period here is quite different. I made a lot of leaps. again kumon I feel is kinda hyper cautious? like he takes initiative to step back, worried he’s a burden, and then tenma is like. no. I’ll do everything I’m cool as hell. love him. also love chikage offering to set up covert bodyguards for him lol,, I rly feel like once he got over his this troupe is temporary I’m here to enact revenge! vibe he’s now like. ride or die for everyone lol. it is so funny to see yuki and tenma quietly talk to each other like. that’s… weird, right? subordinates? like it is so funny. outside of spring troupe how well does anyone sans hisoka know chikage.

I did like that when juza and muku were discussing kumons condition, juza being like. we’ll be there for him and let him make his own choices. development compared to when he was like muku stay away from me without even like. taking his feelings into consideration. the scene where kumon is like my brother has perfect abs and trying to. show them. he rly loves his brother lol. it rly got me tho when he was talking to muku and went “the closer I get to everyone and the more they help me out, the more I really want to become a part of this company” tho!! the translation didn’t specify but I definitely heard him say tenma-san and natsugumi so I checked yaycupcake and that’s who kumon specifies as “they”? which I thought was so sweet. I rly like their dynamic. my vision is kumon panics at some point, locks himself in the panic closet, tenma goes to find him, gets locked there too, and they don’t really even have a deep heart to heart but tenma falls asleep there and kumon is moved anyways bc he kind of understands how deeply he’s being cared for, to the point that even if he ducks up they still like him. tho I don’t know kumon’s exact issues.

was worried muku was gonna talk abt kumon’s condition to summer troupe secretly so I was very glad he just said he was pressured! which literally anyone could notice. and I thought it was cute how summer troupe cheered him on. the moment I read kazuko and I was like ah… they’re all cute girls! one more tick towards my “all female summer troupe play” vision. love sakyo being like he’s got a lot of drive unlike SOMEONE abt kumon. and banri is like yeah I wonder who…? it’s great.

and kumons audition!! he reminds izumi of sakuyas first moments!!!! thinking abt how tenma joined summer troupe due to a deep admiration of sakuya in the first place. thinking abt how he’s teaching kumon now. and tenma calling him “student of mine” love it.

juza: …

izumi: he looks happy that his brother passed the audition!

me: …I think you might need some expression practice, izumi

again it’s so funny that kumon has to ask to join natsugumi bc I had totally assumed he already pivoted there post-road show. still this is very cute. and it’s wild that tenma is like oh? like he’s surprised. like. it’s so obvious how much he likes u guys lol. once again tho kumon’s a bit hesitant abt it and tenma and natsugumi r all like hell yeah kumon welcome on board. paused here bc it seemed like a good place to take a break! I am… very excited for what comes next.

KIRIII HI!!!! it's been so long but it's always a pleasure <33 take your time always, but what a pleasure to see your takes again!!

AND HELP. Someone should definitely make that pun, it's right here. come on.

AND HELP. I'd say yes it's normal to love Kumon at first sight, he's just So Shapped. He has a lovely smile, he looks radiant like the sun, he's a ball of energy, he's just. Everything about him is SO endearing i adore him. I'm so glad you felt like that right away, he deserves all the love (and i'm so glad he kept you company in the a3 server when you were playing!)

DLKFJDLKFJDF WHAT A FIRST INTRODUCTION THEN LMAO.

But yeah Kumon really has a stellar introduction, he's sweet but the way he immediately dismises Summer is like. hold on. no wait you don't know them like we do hold on. and yeah i love how they point out right away that it's just like Tenma because, yeah! it's just like Tenma! and now everyone can clown on BOTH Tenma AND Kumon at once! congratulation everyone! But god yeah i love how Kumon immediately goes to Banri's throat and then mostly is chill around him. i love how he can't insult anything other than his hair and how Banri is genuinely more affected by Kumon's comments on his hair than if Kumon had thrown real insult. so funny.

aw waaa 🥺🥺 of course i won't say a thing about all that's going on with the Hyodo, i'll just confirm to you that yes, Muku did leave the track team because of an injury yes! But for the rest, there's still so much to discover. But also oof mood on the "not wanting to elaborate suddenly on something you fucked up" thing.

:3c looking forward your reactions to the whole Hyodo arc then.

BUT YES YES YES!! This chapter really shows Tenma's growth so well and the way he tries to work it out with Kumon (while at this point, while we know Kumon is the Summer rookies, no one knows it yet, so Tenma is just helping out just because!! Probably also seeing himself out of the whole anti comedy thing like "oh my sweet sweet summer child" (literally) it's so sweet).

and yeah so true i think Yuki is the one with the most knowledge on that front, aside from Sakyo of course.

eheheh :3c. AND HELPP YEAH!! Tenma is so sweet and i love again how his dynamic with Yuki shines through in that bit like. truly the roommates who know each other too well at this point. rip.

AND DLKFJDFKL. the Kumon&Banri&Juza dynamic really is hilarious.

but waaa so cute :sob: so true on the hugs though, they really seem so huggable, and Tenma especially is so good this chapter. Like yeah of course the leader/rookie dynamic is expected but it's so nice to see them go through it rather organically.

YEAAH i love how he calls Juza niichan too <333 the perks of being able to catch a few of the words in Japanese when spoken. AND YEAH… Kumon at least completely speedrun his "comedy is alright actually" bit that Tenma half denied most of his own arc god bless. and you're SO right about everything you say about Tenma. Like, it really showcase just how far he has come and how he came to really notice and appreciate the good quirks everyone can have and ahhhhh he's so good. and i love that he can be here for Kumon and while Kumon is uncomfortable for now (probably the mix superstar + "i kinda insulted his whole troupe's thing while now i see i was wrong" embarassment) it's really sweet to see how into it he gets when they talk about those things. and they should talk about the sardine search more. Dance kitty cat dance.

yeah Juza came alone to Water Me. Oh if ever you feel like it, there's Juza's New Year SSR ( " SSR - [Chilling Out at Home] - "New Year's with the Hyodo Family") in the Archive that is set before Kumon's arrival, which showcase a bit the Hyodo/Sakisaka relationship before Kumon joined Mankai. obviously won't say much more about Muku and Kumon.

DLKFJDFLKDF i love this. Everything is a good reason to read more into Hisoka's multilanguage attributes.

oh the whole Hyodo drama muah. I LOVE how the summer troupe immediately steps in for Kumon though :sob: they really did imprint him on him right away didn't they. AND YEAH ANOTHER TRIANGLE ENJOYER HELL YEAH.

YEAAH the voice acting in a3 is so good at conveying so much character in how good or bad the whole acting is, like, how much you can feel them, as actors, behind those lines. Kumon especially since he's the personification of the sun itself so he just spills out sunshine everywhere when he talks he's so cute. and i LOVe how good Tenma is with him, he improved so much and got so much nicer :sob:

mood for Tenma's parents. and! for the diretor, That's actually very likely, that'd make sense at least :o could be just a reference without it being supposed to be modern and all. god this arc is good. And YEAH FOR CHIKAGE. really went from "this whole company means nothing to me and i will burn it down" to "anyway what can i do for my precious company right now", best character development. AND HELPPP. Yeah, i assume outside of spring and winter people don't know Chikage much aside from "he bailed on us at some point and we all saw him date the director, what was up with that". Spring at least knew something was off with him and Winter knew something was off with Hisoka because of him. but for the rest?? Esp the kids??? god Chikage speedrunning from weirdo stranger to weird uncle is incredible.

Juza and Muku working together for Kumon's sake 🥺 it's really so cute and it does show how they evolved in term of problem solving with other people. Kumon is so cute. And yeah this is so sweet!!! Summer really is doing a number on him right away!! Like it's just really soft how, Kumon wanted to join the company for Juza, to be with Juza, and all of that and just… how quickly Summer grew on him that now he's kinda here for himself instead. and for those people who cheered for him then. It's so soft. I love your vision on how this arc would go aaa

Muku is handling the situation so well!! honestly he deals with Kumon's situation with so much care i almost forgot he was younger than him at a time, Muku really tries hard to take care of him as he can there as a senpai. AND HELL YEAH for the all female summer troupe play. They're all ready for this. dFLKJDFDF SAKYO. And Banri is that Garfield picture isn't it.

AND YEEEE ON THE IMPRESSION IZUMI HAS OF KUMON. associating him with Sakuya's enthusiasm and everything and having Tenma mentoring him… it's all very sweet.

AND HELP. hey maybe Izumi is right, we don't know (yet) what's in Juza's head! who knows!

AND RIGHT… Natsugumi really just took care of Kumon just because as if it wouldn't cause him to Be Attached just as quickly for it. it's so sweet.

Thank you once again for your detailled thoughts, it's a blast to read through and it makes me relive those arcs which is always so good. I'm glad you're having fun and are totally getting into the stuff that are being set up!! it's going to be a trip!

Always looking forward more of your thoughts, and thank you again for sharing <3333 Take care!

[jezzariddell]

I am not surprised that after the frenzy of the first two episodes, I’m not seeing a lot about this episode. Because it’s a table-setting episode and kind of boring, and making a clear difference between this season of Criminal Minds, and previous ones: we’re not going to get someone spelling out the psychology involved: 

I noticed this with the last episode, when people were unhappy that the killer was giving people a choice between death and being paralyzed, and they chose death.

The main thing I’m seeing in the current season is that the BAU does not have time, or the script does not have time, to fully process the reasons for what the unsub is doing (I think this might be a plot point, because it bit them in the ass in episode 3). From context, it was very clear that a person who suffered a debilitating physical change wanted to present the people who cut him out of his life with the same issue, but with a choice, a choice the unsub didn’t have. You can be paralyzed and live, or you can die. Hypocrites chose death. 

(Real life experience cutting in here: my father can barely feel his feet. I’m probably in the first stages of spinal degeneration. It really does fucking suck, so spare me with “people should be okay with just being paralyzed for life”. If you don’t know how much this actually changes the way you live, you can sit down. Yes, of course, disability is better than dying. But we don’t live in a society that makes this an obvious or easy choice. How many jobs require standing for 8 hours a day? How does your self worth change when your hobby is hiking, or dancing, or roller skating and suddenly your body tells you to do it a different way? In general, we are functionally deprived of this perspective. So yeah, JJ’s response was disappointing. Someone breaking when he had to change wasn’t.)

Anyway, after that tangent, the episode, the table setting. That’s why it’s boring. We did learn a lot in this episode about the plot, a lot about the main villain, that he’s deeply in debt (because it turns out funding murders is expensive. That’s actually a little funny, because it was getting to be a running joke that every killer in Criminal Minds had like...an elaborate kill floor) and getting desperate, that the person they caught this episode was Penelope’s informant, and that we are about to get some episodes about the other two methods of death, likely strangulation and poisoning. Or not, because someone who gave the main unsub a lot of money just jumped the queue. In any case. I really try not to analyze Criminal Minds in a deeper context. I always love the characters, but it’s ultimately just a procedural cop show. I probably have more to say about everything but...for this show I’m usually there for the ride, and I ignore things at my leisure. 

There was some really great Tara relationship stuff. Rebecca knew she was putting her career on the line to feed information to the BAU. And I like that even though she was initially freaked out, Tara did see herself moving in with Rebecca (Tara, talk to Penelope please, she needs help). Honestly, I know like, no one understands it, but I love the office politics. If you’re going to have a hedge fund manager with a badge (Prentiss’s words), the maneuvering gives me life. 

[jodilin65]

I ended up spending most of yesterday tired, but I feel good today. We’re going out to CVS later, now that I’m staying up throughout the mornings. After too many days stuck at home, I’m itching to get out, even if it’s just a quick run to the store. I don’t know how Tom could stay home every single day for months if he had to. Maybe I would feel the same if I had worked for so many decades outside the house.

Ever since I’ve known Tom, I’ve wished we were closer in age. If I didn’t go first, I wouldn’t have many years left to lose by following him. But then I realized that maybe it’s a good thing there is an age difference. I don’t know if anything worse may lay beyond, but cutting my life short by a decade or so would mean one less decade of life’s bullshit to deal with. Life is still rough at times, even when you have it easy. As I said, something worse could await me, but as soon as this life ends, there are no more sleep and health issues, etc.

I now see that I'm not going to lose weight by cutting sugar and carbs (as if I really expected to, right?). I think my calories are already low enough, and if I lowered them any more, I wouldn't feel good. So I'm just going to keep doing what I've been doing and hope for the best as far as my A1c goes.

Nothing more to update on, other than I found a really cool wallpaper app and had some weird dreams.

In one dream, I lived in an apartment building, and Christiane lived there as well. She mostly kept her distance from me, just like she did online before she dumped me. As I was returning to my apartment and about to unlock the door, I spotted her. She looked great for being in her late 60s, tall and slim with dark hair. She wore it straight and shoulder-length, with a lot of makeup as usual.

She looked at me hesitantly and then said, “Congratulations.”

I looked at her with confusion, and she elaborated by saying she would be met with good reflections. I don’t think her English is that bad in real life, but nonetheless, I asked her what she was talking about. She said, “Rainbow.”

Pretending not to have a clue what she was talking about, even though I knew she was referring to a text message I sent a while back about a new GF named Rainbow, I said, “Who is Rainbow?”

Then she looked even more confused and said, “Who the hell have I been talking to?” as she entered her own apartment.

Andy was in the next dream. I lived alone in some place that didn’t look anything like this. He was in a long line of people waiting for some event we were to attend. I was already in front of the line, seated on a bench, waiting for him. When he spotted me, he struck some goofy poses and made funny faces.

“You look so gay,” I told him with a laugh.

I knew he was going to be sleeping with me in my bedroom, which had two twin beds. I reminded myself to tell him that I now snore at times and that it might disturb him. Then I looked forward to seeing how the hell he managed to stand his full-face CPAP mask.

The last dream was the weirdest, and no one I knew was in it. Again, I was alone and in a cold climate. I don’t know how old I was, but I was on a ship and we had to ride it for some crazy reason standing on these wooden planks that were about two feet wide and extended out over the freezing, churning water. I stood on a plank with a couple of women in their 20s or 30s, terrified of falling off and into the water. We all hung on to each other and started to sway for a minute but quickly caught ourselves. I asked if they normally had anybody ready to rescue anyone who might fall into the water, and they said no. I figured they would freeze to death before they were rescued anyway.

Then we stopped somewhere, and I was taking a shower and then using this really weird-looking toilet. The rim looked painfully thin, but when I sat on it, it felt normal.

[suckitsurveys]

When you’re visiting a site, do you still type ‘www.’? I just google shit and click on whatever comes up haha.

Can you still read the time if an analogue clock doesn’t have numbers on it? I can hardly read it WITH numbers, buddy. One of my brain flaws.

To whom will/did you first talk about the first time you’ve had sex? I mean, I’ve mentioned it to friends but I don’t think I’ve told like, the whole story?

Have you ever fallen asleep while taking an exam? Nope.

Tell me something ridiculous about the place or country you live in: Ahahahahahahhahahahahaha where the fucking shit do you want me to start?

Did you know that ` is not an apostrophe? Are you guilty of using it? Yes I know that. I don’t think I’ve ever used it honestly. It’s on a weird, unnatural part of the keyboard. My muscle memory automatically uses the correct one anyway.

Have you ever gave the rejection hotline number to anyone? I don’t think so.

What is something you didn’t like about being thirteen? All of it.

What can you hear right now? The AC.

Do you think it’s okay for kids to have cellphones? Whatever.

Do you watch anime? If so, what are some of your favorites? I've seen a couple. My favorite is FLCL, which I recently learned there are new episodes of. I should watch those.

A quote/funny line from the last movie you saw? “Goodnight Barbies, I’m definitely not thinking about death anymore!”

Don’t you hate yes/no surveys? Or do you prefer the ones that make you think and explain your thoughts? I like it when there’s a mix so I don’t have to elaborate on every question.

Do you have a favorite curse word? If so, what is it and why? Fuck.

How well would you say you do in school? Do you actually exert effort or are you naturally good at your subjects? I hated school.

Or do you not care at all? Why? --

Do you have any siblings? If so which one of them do you get along with the best? I have one sister and I kind of hate her right now

What’s your favorite TV show? And who’s your favorite character from it? BoJack Horsemen is probably my all time favorite. Princess Carolyn is my favorite character.

Is there someone that you look up to? If so, who and why? Everyone, I’m short.

Do you take surveys on other sites besides Bzoink? Clearly.

When did/will summer start for you? It’s August 17th. There’s a month or so left of summer.

Do you have a poor eyesight? If so, what is the power of your eyes? I have horrible eyesight but I don’t know the number.

…do you use glasses or contacts for it? Glasses..

Have you violated any of the 10 Commandments? If so, what? Every god damn day of my life.

What would you consider to be your most valued possession? Why? I have a few of those because I am a sentimental bitch.

Are you ever satisfied? Or are you one of those people who always want more? Sure.

What were you like as a kid? Fucking weird af.

[cleverwinepun]

The Wine ‘fo Today

Forza Moscato! Look at this photo of her, why is it so funny? The closeup shot for no reason in the worlds crunchiest quality, for a quality ($5) wine.

Alrighty, so of course I’m going to dedicate the first “professional wine taste tm” review to the wine that inspired me to start this little blog for myself. This wine was so good to me it got me to start a blog??? Idk at first I snapped a photo of the bottle IMMEDIATELY after having my first sip so I could remember I liked it and buy it in the future and then I thought hey why don’t I write this down? In fact I should write about all the wines I like, maybe even the ones I didn’t like. Maybe … like my own personal wine review journal? A BLOG? Why am i this passionate about wine ? Did I inherit the alcoholic gene? (Yes) I basically just wanted to scrapbook every drink I’ve ever liked for future reference and thought this was a pretty silly and elaborate way to do so.

I’m not sure how those professional wine tasters describe the wines they drink, what the notes are, how the hell they can tell the literal chemical compound of the liquid just by gargling it. All I know is that this wine just tastes like juice, n that’s why mama likey. My favorite wines are definitely the ones that are basically “fruit juice that makes my tummy feel funny” because I’m literally an overgrown child. This one was very lovely! Basically tasted like the white grape juice you find in the supermarket, and is only like 6 bucks. It’s main attribute is that it’s VERY sweet, like salivates your mouth upon contact sweet. I had it warm so this sweetness was probably a little more prominent thanks to that, and though I expressed to myself it would probably be even better chilled, I did not get to try it that way. I’m known to not be the best at sipping in moderation, and fruity drinks are always a very dangerous game because the less it tastes like alcohol, the faster I’m going to drink it, and the faster I will get drunk (This of course does not bother me, but definitely bothers my mother, the one who is actually doing the wine purchasing) Overall, just a very sweet drink I’d mostly recommend for a time you wish to experience a little jolt while you watch a silly show or something, but not really to accompany a nice dinner or anything. Maybe something to stick in the mango slushie you ordered with your Taco Bell meal while you watch Big Brother or some other drivel (slash positive).

Rating

I’m not exactly sure how this bottle got in my house? Some family came over earlier on the same day I tried the wine randomly at 3am, and it was just put out on the table. It was put out half empty though? Like it didn’t seem like my mother went out and bought it for the occasion that same morning, and I swear I’ve never seen the bottle before then? Where the hell could she have been hiding it if that was the case? When was she drinking this, because why else would it be half empty? Lot of unanswered questions with this bottle, but I’ve always liked my women a little mysterious. Anyways solid 5/5, but I am only going to be able to try her like three times because once again the bottle was presented half empty and I’m trying to do some Houdini level trickery to make it seem like the liquid level has not changed by keeping it above the bottom of the logo line so it’s not obvious I’ve been sneaking cups of it while everyone is asleep (how I enjoy most of my drinks). Can’t wait to buy her for myself in like a year and a month. Nummy nummy nummy.

My Sipping Buddy:

I really wanna include this segment to shoutout what I was doing or who I was with while enjoying the drink in question, but my very legit physic senses are telling me most of these are gonna be whatever silly YouTube video I watched while I drank bc I mostly drink alone in my bedroom at odd hours of the night, so…

My sipping buddy for this wine was Jenny Nicholson! Specifically this 3 hour docu-tube-mentary on Evermore; which despite it’s not super long timespan, took me like two whole days to watch?? Idk I kept stopping and attempting (and obviously failing) to watch it in odd places like in the shower. Anyways it left me longing for a alternate dimension where Evermore wasn’t a total flop and delivered on everything it said it would be and I got to go and I would officially be able to die the happiest person on planet earth because I was alive at a time where I could go to the coolest larping theme park on Earth. God I really wish Evermore turned out how it was envisioned. Great video though, Jenny is always a hoot, and I love a good deep dive into the most random shit.

Anyways my tummy hurts because my body is freaking out over not having a baby inside it this month and I am starting to physically feel my eyebags resting on my face so I’m not proof reading this and posting it now. But let’s be honest even if I wasn’t in excruciating pain I’m probably not gonna proofread anything I post here.

[thearchivistsjournal]

Day 208,

It seems that Maiko walking with me to the Village in the morning is becoming a regular occurrence, and not an unwelcome one.  It’s funny, a few weeks ago I might have rankled at the hovering protection - or at least, I might have interpreted it that way - but I don’t think that's what this is.  We didn’t say much on the way, but it can be nice just to be with someone.  There’s something special about mere physical proximity to someone friendly and familiar.  And sure, the two of us are both content to go for whole days without seeing anyone else (well, I used to be anyway, and I think I’m slowly recovering enough to get there again), it’s a balance one needs to find for themself.  It’s another aspect in what I mentioned before about talking to Maiko being like talking to myself.

I spent the morning working on restorations.  Well, duplication, more like.  One of the older archival records was getting fragile so I’m making a copy.  Figured it would be decent practice for copying Iole’s book as well.  Although if it has illustrations I’m less sure how to handle those.  Trace them maybe?

As I was taking a break for lunch Lin arrived, bags under her eyes and missing the usual spring in her step.  When I asked what happened she told me she’d been up through the night helping her father deliver a baby.  She said she hoped I didn’t mind that she took a nap for a few hours before coming to report it for me to add to the records.

I assured her that of course I didn’t and started pulling over a chair for her and telling her to help herself to the food while I grabbed the current record book.  She accepted in that way that you do when you’re too exhausted to object to any suggestion that comes your way.

One official birth record later (which I may need her to double-check and amend sometime when she’s more lucid) I pointed out how beat she looked and offered up the archive’s bed.  She declined, said she had her own bed and didn’t want to impose, stood up, grabbed the chairback to steady herself, and changed her mind.

As we walked over to the alcove and opened it she mumbled something about probably sleeping better here than at her parents’ anyway.  

I didn’t pry for elaboration on that one.

I’m done with my lunch now and I’ll be getting back to that restoration work here shortly until she wakes up.  As much as I’d like to talk to her about the sarcophagus and maybe even ask for advice about Cass, I know the deliveries are hard on her so this probably isn’t a good time.  Maybe she’d like to hear about the boat updates though.

*******

I was packing up to leave for the evening when Lin re-emerged.  I think she put two and two together when she saw me thus because she started apologizing for sleeping there so long.  I gave my best attempt at a good-natured-and-not-condescending chuckle and assured her it was fine.  Way I see it, if someone sleeps that long in the middle of the day it means they really needed it.  

I closed up for the evening and we walked together a bit until the point where we would have gone separate ways.  With a hesitancy that I wish I could be over by now, I extended an offer to (continue her) crash at my place (“our place” with Maiko there as much as I am?).

She said that she’d been planning on heading to Siren Overlook, but an evening with friends beats out weird magic mood music any day.

I wonder if that’s why I never see anyone else up there? Because everyone else has healthy emotional support networks.

Not that I had much time for that line of introspection at the time.  I was too distracted by Lin abruptly turning and taking off toward the road out of town.  As I scrambled to catch up with her I asked if she needed anything from her house.  She slowed down, perhaps realizing I was having trouble keeping up, and said that she probably did and would probably regret it in the morning but she really didn’t feel like going back right now.

Another statement I’m very carefully not unpacking.

Maiko and Lin were both pleasantly surprised to see that we’d be a trio and not a duo for our walk back once the former emerged from her hiding spot in the tree line.  Made for a livelier than normal walk back.  At one point Lin made a comment about it being a nice evening and the trees and undergrowth being pretty.  It took me aback somewhat, but she was right.  Strange how that which I’d found so beautiful when I’d first arrived barely even registered to me anymore until someone actually said something causing me to really look once more.  The curse of familiarity I suppose.  It’s the same with people too, I think.  Not just appearance but personality, behavior, mind, spirit, whatever you wish to call it.  Spend enough time around an amazing person and they can seem mundane to the point where you start to lose your appreciation for them without realizing it.  Don’t know if that’s better or worse than the alternative of being too enamored forever so that you lose sight of the imperfections that make them a person and not an abstract ideal in your head.

Or at least, that was my own train of thought as I went from watching the trees to watching my companions talk with one another as we walked.  Once again I found myself thinking that I was lucky to have such friends, and for once it was without the undercurrent of feeling undeserving.  Or at least it was until I realized I wasn’t feeling that way, which brought it back, but I was able to consciously silence that voice with some effort.

Once we got back I did manage to pull Maiko aside and let her know that I hadn’t told Lin anything catacomb related yet.  That she’d been not feeling so great after the baby delivery (and maybe some issues with her parents?) so I didn’t want to drop another serious topic on her tonight.  Maybe tomorrow though.  In the meantime though, we did fill Lin in on boat-related updates and talked more about plans for that upcoming outing, which she seemed to be looking forward to about as much as we were.  Lin also brought up the prospect of another overnight trip to the lake of stars while we waited for the boat to finish.  Could be fun.

<==Previous          Next==>

[kageyuji]

asking him how to confess to your crush (him)

⤷ oikawa, suna, bokuto, iwaizumi ; [gn!reader]

TAGS: fluff/crack if you squint, confessions

NOTES: please reblog or i’ll cry

━━ OIKAWA

you can’t miss the momentary look of sadness, but he quickly hides it with a cocky smile

he tells you the cheesiest possible way to confess to someone. he doesn’t even know if it’ll work on not

(he actually hopes it doesn’t, but he can’t just be an asshole and tell you something that clearly won’t work)

but once he realizes that he is the person you like, his mind jumps to several different places all at once

he’s happy but also he can’t properly form words, please bear with him </3

“Oikawa?”

He hummed a response to you, ghost of a smile on his lips. He always liked the way you said his name, even if it was just his family name.

“I have a favor... so there’s this guy that I like, and I wasn’t sure how to tell him. Do you think you could give me ideas?”

You don’t miss the pout on his lips, the way his eyebrows furrow, the hurt in his eyes. If one were to blink, they wouldn’t have missed it. He smiled and laughed, quickly trying to hide how much his heart ached.

People — in reality, only makki and mattsun — had asked you if you had feelings for someone. But you never gave them an answer, just a flustered smile and a shrug.

“Uhm... I don’t know, depends on the person. You can get a bouquet or something, and chocolates maybe?”

A smile lit up your face. He had looked so pained to say it; his nose was wrinkled up a little, one hand at the back of his neck, eyes looking anywhere but you.

“Oh, yeah! That sounds sweet, he might like that. Should I ask him what his favorite flowers are?”

“Yeah.” His heart sunk impossibly lower.

“Got it. So, what are your favorite flowers?”

He looked up from where he’d taken a sudden interest in the floor, looking around for someone else. But no one seemed to be engaging in a conversation with you — actually, he realized it was only you and him in the room.

“No, I meant ask this guy that you like.”

“I just did.”

He doesn’t say anything at first, eyes wide and lips parted. There’s something in his eyes that you can’t quite read. Shock, or was in confusion? There was also an undertone of hurt, like he couldn’t tell if this was some sick joke or not.

“You mean... me? I’m the- you have feelings for me?”

Your heart fell then — of course you’d been nervous to tell him. But with the constant flirting, you were beginning to think that maybe it wasn’t just harmless and playful anymore. That maybe even if it was still done playfully, there was truth behind those words, behind the smiles and the winks he sent you.

“If you don’t feel the same way, it’s fine, I just-”

“No, no, that’s not what I meant. I was just a little surprised is all. I feel the same way, and you’re great, really, I just figured I wasn’t your type.”

“But you are.” You said, heating rising in your cheeks. Nothing could mask the smile he wore, even if he was trying not fight it.

“And you are my type. Guess we’re both lucky, hm?”

━━ SUNA

he is determined not to let you notice how his heart stopped in his chest

he still holds the same disinterested, bored look on his face as always, although he’s unaware you could see right through him

refuses to give you advice on how to go about confessing

in fact, the last thing he wants to do is be around you — he knows you were never his, so he can’t be upset, but it still turns his stomach

tell him before he can find an excuse to leave, or else your confession will be a lot more painstaking due to him dodging any interaction with you

“So uh... if you were to confess to someone you like, how do you think you would do it?” Your voice sounded so sweet, so genuine.

“Why? You have a little crush on somethin’?” He laughed.

“Yeah, actually.”

Oh.

You don’t miss the way his nose scrunches and the look in his eyes. He’s looking at the floor with narrowed eyes, almost as though the floor was the cause of his jealousy.

Well, not his jealousy — he wasn’t jealous, was he?

“Hm,” He hums, and you find him putting back on the same incurious face that he always wore. “I don’t know, elaborate confessions are pointless. Just tell the person how you feel. If they really like you, they won’t turn you aware for being simple.”

“Ah, that’s true.” You smile, though it’s fueled with nervousness. “So, one more thing I gotta say then.”

“Make it quick, I’ve to be somewhere soon.” Suna hates the bitter taste in his mouth.

He knows he shouldn’t care, after all he’s never worked up the courage to spill his heart to you, so he doesn’t have a right to feel like something is being torn — no, stolen — away from him.

“Right. You said simple, so... I like you, and I think you’re really sweet. And you’re funny and you’re so caring, even though you would never admit that. Um, I hope that was boiled down enough for you.”

“You’re kidding right?”

The tone in his voice is almost accusatory, although he doesn’t mean it to be, he just genuinely doesn’t believe you. When had you ever shown interest in him? Not that he was complaining.

“No. But it’s fine if you d-”

“I never said that. If you mean it though, maybe you can tell me the longer version of everything you like about me. Over coffee or something?”

━━ BOKUTO

ok first off, let me stop you right there, because baby boy is gonna get so sad :(

there is no hiding the hurt he’s feeling. he’s always expressive, even though he’s trying to hide it

please stop him there because his mood is only going downhill

actually tells you some elaborate, thought out thing that you assumed was from the top of his head

(although in reality, he’s thought about telling you how he feels on countless times)

but when he realizes that you’re talking about him he instantly does a 180, he looks like he’s in heaven

“Bokuto!” You call his name with a smile. You’ve found you can always get a matching one from him whenever you do so.

And of course he smiles back at you, the same excited look in his eyes as always. “Y/n!”

“I need advice.” You say.

His expression drops into one of worry at your tone. If there was anything that Bokuto hated in this world, it was seeing you upset.

“What is it?”

“I need to know how to tell someone that I have feelings for them.”

And just like that, you can see his heart break through his expression. His eyebrows pin up and he presses his lips into a thin line. You can tell that he’s trying not to show you how bothered he was by that one sentence.

He always was bad at pretending he was fine though. It was clear, if nothing else you could see his watery eyes.

“Oh... uhm. Can I ask who the person is?”

You’re hesitant to say it. But you don’t know why, because his reaction was your final bit of proof that he had feelings for you too. He hadn’t been subtle before, but now it was obvious.

“You.”

“What?” Bokuto said, although the word was breathless.

He doesn’t wait for you to respond to him. Instead, the wide smile he always wore appeared back on his face and he wrapped his arms around you.

Usually, Bokuto’s hugs are tight anyway. They’re filled with a need to be close to you and a need to convey the emotion of ‘you are the only thing grounding me right now’.

But this one was tighter. He buried his face into your neck, but you could hear the smile in his voice when he spoke. “I may have to confess to someone too.”

━━ IWAIZUMI

iwaizumi is a gentleman about it, as much as he doesn’t want to be

if anything, he wants to tell you right then and there about his feelings

but the fact (or rather, the thought) that you’ve taken an interest in someone else is all the evidence he needs to stop himself

the last thing he wants to do it mess with your emotions so he intends to stuff he feelings down to deepest parts of his mind in hopes that they’ll one day disappear

until of course, he realizes that he is the guy you’d been talking about

he gets giddy, believe it or not. he hates to admit it sometimes, but unbeknownst to you, you have so much control over his emotions

“So, Iwa?” You said, and he tried to overlook the cautious tone to your voice.

“Hm?”

“Uh, theres this guy that I kind of have feelings for. But the thing is, I don’t know how to tell him.” You sound nervous.

Iwaizumi assumes it’s from the thought of having to tell this person your feelings, yet he doesn’t realize that said person is him and it’s coming sooner than he’d realized.

He doesn’t say anything in response to you at first. His eyes narrow only slightly, then he takes a deep breath and turns back to you with his usual expression.

“If you’re going to tell them, do something sweet and simple. If you get all extravagant with it, it might freak ‘em out. Maybe... I dunno, buy a little gift and tell them?

He hid it well. The mix of jealousy, regret, and sadness in him was painful, but he clenched his fists and tried not to let his voice crack. If there was someone you knew that didn’t cry, it was Iwaizumi. Yet here he was, doing everything in his power not show how upset he was.

What was he even doing anyway? He was helping you find a lover that was not himself. Not that you even knew that, because in reality he’d never shown to you that he had feelings towards you.

That was something he was regretting a lot now.

“Oh I see, what kind of gift would you like?”

Ouch. As though this couldn’t hurt more. “I don’t know, depends on the person. Ask him, not me.”

“I just did, dummy.”

It took him a few seconds to process that, then another few seconds for the relief and happiness to wash over him. A smile rugged at the corner of his lips.

“That’s cute. You and I can go out somewhere this weekend and I can help you pick something out, hm?”