#anyways its half baked but take it :P

[vampistol]

Remember when shilo frenzied and ripped someones throat out? *sighs fondly* i do

[moneymartin]

kate hcs? like what u did w nika plsss

・❥・- gf!kate hcs

warnings: harddd smut under the divider at the end and suggestive content :p

afab!r

a/n: i genuinely love doing hcs more than writing full on fics cause my lord i cannot write a whole story without going off track and ruining the entire thing… got carried away like always. also this is longgg overdue as well. i’ve been procrastinating everything and i feel bad for not releasing anything sooner like i promised. thank you for being patient w me lolz

i’m glad that we all agree… kate is theeee golden retriever girlfriend

i mean who wouldn’t say that

blonde masc that gives off happy vibes and literally has a tattoo that says ‘sunshine’

treats you like a real fuckin’ princess like she knows what she’s doing

okay kate lovesssss the kids

her and carson are so adorbs 💔

when someone asks her what her profession is she is not gonna say a pro hooper

shes gonna say that shes carson’s aunt 😭

def takes you over to kennedy’s house when she’s gone and makes you babysit carson w her 🥹

loves when they hold her fingers she thinks its the cutest thing in the world and you photograph the whole thing

spoils you fosho!!!!

mention one lil thing and shes buying it for you

new clothes, bags, shoes, jewelry, accessories. ANYTHING YOU WANNTTT!!!

yk how she likes tswift…

takes you to a concert for your bday if you do too

and wears that stupid cowboy hat 😒

but you guys would be matching soooo

DEFINITELY loves physical touch

hands hands handssss

they’re all over you in public like she is not afraid to show people you’re hers 😩

on your waist or hips. her fingers are always on you somehow

also does it romantically like she’ll intertwine pinkies with you and always holds your hand no matter the situation

the thumb thing is her favorite

loves pda foshooooo

i don’t think she’d be possessive but i feel like shes the jealous type

sees you w a girl at the bar or sumn and starts to FREAK!

she’ll sit next to you immediately and is touching you all over so that the girl goes away 😭

or shes burying her face into your neck and kissing your skin in front of her

WHEW!!!

everyone can disagree w me on this but i see her as lil spoon when you guys cuddle…

FIGHT ME ALL YOU WANT BUT THIS GIRL LOVEEESSSS WHEN YOU PLAY W HER HAIR WHILE SHE SLEEPS

kisses your neck or your collar while shes half asleep 😣

back rubs are her fav thing too

shes the one getting them tho cause she’s always so tense after practice and she believes that if you do it she’ll feel better already

we all know shes a passenger princess.

she probably has a car but refuses to drive it alone when you’re there cause she thinks she’ll crash it or something

lets you wear her clothes

if she was taller (most likely) she’d have you in all her shirts and stuff cause they look bigger on you

you think you shouldn’t wear anything under cause it hides everything anyways and kate agrees

in reality she just loves the easy access…

total baby when she’s drunk

and super clingy :(

arguments don’t happen often but when they do it ends real fast cause she knows how to calm you down 🥹🥹🥹

if anything though the arguments start cause its about something real stupid

teaches you how to play basketball if it isn’t your sport

can’t cook for SHIET!!!! burns eggs easily or somethin like that cause she can’t bring herself to learn

knows how to bake tho 100%

super adventurous

have you guys seen the pic of her zip lining… like she’s fearless when it comes to that stuff

hits the gym and weight room every fuckin day w you so she can build those arms 🤫

spots you when you think its too hard

KATE IS A MUNCH

ik y’all have seen that pussy eater jaw…

kisses are her thing as well

making out w you is the highlight of her night week day whatever!

initiates it all the time cause she knows you love it too

whines during it too me thinks…

when she needs you to shut up during it i firmly believe that she’ll kiss you to muffle the noises 😩

she isn’t straightforward but when she wants to she’ll make it obvious.

GROANER AND GRUNTERRRRR FOR SURE

cusses all the time

hard breather too

she’ll breathe out a bunch of words that you can barely hear cause of your own noises 💀 but you love hearing them cause you know she’s engaged

her strap game is crazy though i can tell…

feel like she’d sometimes just wear it for fun

she’ll wear it just for the looks and not to use it on you 😭😭

she doesn’t wanna have sex w you for her pleasure b/c during it, everything is about YOUUU

your pleasure >>>>> anything else

soft dom 100% but will also switch sometimes if thats what you’re feeling

especially after games like she loves having sex after cause she knows you’ll do everything for her

FUCKIN LOVES WHEN YOU RIDE HER ITS HER FAVORITE THING EVER

always grabbing your hips really tight when you do and theres always marks afterwards on them

and she likes seeing your face when you’re on top

missionary is her thing

eye contact during sex is important

to her at least

LOVES DIRTY TALKING

degrades you but only when you’re being cocky about something while she fucks the shit outta you

i don’t think she’d be aggressive but she’d be a lil rough when she’s upset

hickeys.

leaves marks EVERYWHEREEE

in the most visible spots so that people can see them when you two are in public

only happens during makeout seshes or when you guys are havin your own time tho

she so talks you through it.

always reassuring and asking if you feel good or not

“is this okay?” “does that hurt?” “it’s okay, baby. i’m right here, i promise” “take your time” lil things like that

praises you hella too

call me cringe or whatever

but she’ll call you a good girl if she has to…

when she eats you out she’s SOOO FOCUSED

quiet the wholeeee time but you can feel her getting all breathy against you

kisses your thighs after you cum so you know she’s still there 😞❤️

aftercare queen

she’s already cleaning you up and getting you a new pair of clothes or running a warm bath for the both of you 🥸

[faith369]

ghost x sweet!reader. shes prices daughter and come to the base to visit her father with fresh baked goods for all his military friends too of course ! She catches his eye and might end up in his bed.

I really hope you like this and thank you sharing this cause its making me think unholy things

Simon 'Ghost' Riley x fem!reader

Warning: mdni, nsfw, p in v, orale (fem receiving)

Ghost knew the Captain had a daughter, what he didn't expect was for you to be such a sweet girl, way too pretty for your own good. He watched you laugh at one of Soap's jokes, shifting in his seat, trying to ignore the confined feeling in his pants. The sound of your laugh sent a shiver down his spine. He originally didn't mean to stay, as he wasn't in the mood to engage in conversation. But when he saw you in the break room motioning for him to come in with a sweet smile on your face, he couldn't resist, especially not after you shook his hand the polite girl you are, and he couldn't stop thinking about how soft they are and how they would feel around his cock. You had even managed to convince him to try one of the cupcakes you had baked, and as much as he liked them, they were the last thing on his mind. The dress you had on made your thighs more delicious than a cupcake could ever be. The Captain, who was the whole reason you came here, had left about 30 minutes ago after Laswell had called him about some meeting and because Simon knew how long these could last, he offered him to take you home, something that Price couldn't turn down.

Simon was more than aware that looking at his captain's daughter the way he did wasn't exactly okay, but he couldn‘t stop himself. And it wasn't like you didn't look at him just a tad bit too long for it to be appropriate, to your luck, however, Gaz and Soap were way too occupied with the backed goods to notice it. You found yourself unable to concentrate on the conversation, too busy thinking about your father's Lieutenant. His face was bare, no skull mask in sight. Something inside you made you want to reach out to feel the light stubble that grazed his cheek under your fingers. You were only able to shift your focus when Soap and Gaz started arguing about the last cupcake. Simon kept his eyes on you while you convinced them to share. You were so eager to make everyone happy, he started wondering whether you'd be such a good girl trying to please him.

..........................................................

Simon had a tight grip on your hips, keeping you still while he sucked your swollen clit. Your slick spread around his mouth, as he ate you out like a man starved. Your mewls only spurred him on, making him stick two of his thick digits into your aching cunny. "So wet just for me huh" he dragged his fingers along your walls, painfully slow but still hitting the spot inside you that made you feel dizzy, sweet pleasure just an inch away, but before you were able to grab it, Ghost had pulled out his fingers. You glared at him through half lidded eyes as he licked them clean. Your anger made him chuckle. “I know you wanted to cum, but I also  know that you're a good girl, so you've got to be patient for me”

You wanted to kick or scratch him, but you had a hard time getting your brain to do something other than watching him pull his length out of his boxers, its tip red glistening with precum. He ignored your whines about him being too big and just slipped his cock inside you, trying to keep himself from cumming on the spot at the heat of your tight walls. It felt like he was filling out every inch of you, leaving you no room to breathe as he settled inside you, his tip almost kissing your cervix, before starting to move at a pace that made you dig your nails in his back. "Fuck, we shouldn‘t be doing this.“ Ghost's hips were snapping against yours, the pace he had set turned any coherent thought that you had left into thin air. It didn‘t really matter anyway you had lost the ability to properly act the second simon pressed you against the door and kissed you when you just wanted to ask whether he was ready to bring you home. He was merciless in the way he fucked you, probably out of anger at himself for giving into the temptation of taking you. The growls that left his lips were animalistic, covering the whimpers and mewls that left yours, and still he told you to be quiet.  "Don't want your Dad to hear what you're doing, huh? Seducing his lieutenant to make him stuff you" his hand snaked its way between your hot bodies to play with your swollen almost abused clit. His movements were less controlled than before, he wouldn't admit it, but he was way to deep in pleasure to form a lot of thoughts himself. His skilled hands made your eyes roll back into your head. „Didn‘t sed… y..I“ It felt like he consumed every one of your senses, his big body over you blocking your view , his faint smell of cigarette smoke and sweat in your nose, his cock burried inside you. It was getting too much the knot that had started to form in your stomach a while ago felt constricted.

"Can't even talk anymore, huh?" You clenched down at his words, reaching your breaking point as the orgasm shook through your whole body. You arched your back, somewhere in the back of your mind, you hoped no one heard the way you moaned Simon's name like you were drowning, desperate for air. Simon couldn‘t keep himself from cumming at the way you constricted around him, grunting your name as he filled you up with his hot seed.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

-Requests are open loves <333

-masterlist-

[naomijoestar]

⋆.ೃ JJBA SCENARIOS ࿔*:･

Masterlist here <3

genre: fluff, comedy

warnings: none

characters: josuke, okuyasu, koichi, rohan

notes: i randomly thought of this last night while i was asleep (so you bet i had no sleep and decided to work on this instead) anyways since its the afternoon now i have decided to fix it up and post it! hope you guys enjoy <3

Baking with each duwang gang member!

Josuke Higashikata

Josuke is determined to bake the perfect cake for your anniversary. He’s confident at first, flexing his muscles while mixing the batter, but then he accidentally spills flour all over himself. You laugh so hard you can’t breathe, and he tries to play it off cool.

“Guess I’m just sweet enough already,” he jokes, blowing flour off his nose and winking at you.

As you’re decorating, you catch him using Crazy Diamond to fix a broken egg—claiming it doesn’t count as cheating. You both end up splashing each other with frosting, turning the whole kitchen into a sweet, sticky mess. By the end, the cake is barely decorated, but Josuke pulls you into a hug, both of you laughing uncontrollably. He promises to take you out for a real cake later.

Okuyasu Nijimura

Okuyasu thought baking cookies would be easy—until he realized there were actual instructions involved. He’s squinting at the recipe like it’s written in another language. You decide to guide him step by step, and he keeps asking if it’s okay to eat the dough at every stage.

When you turn around, you catch him eating half of the ingredients, chocolate chips smudged on his face. “What?” he says innocently, mouth full. “I’m just testing them!”

Eventually, you manage to get some cookies into the oven, but when the timer dings, Okuyasu excitedly pulls them out with his The Hand, accidentally wiping away the entire tray. You burst out laughing as he looks at his empty hands in confusion.

“Well… at least we still have the dough!” he grins.

Koichi Hirose

Koichi is surprisingly good at following recipes, but he’s so nervous about impressing you that he keeps double-checking every measurement. “Are you sure it’s exactly one cup?” he asks, staring at the sugar like it might explode.

You reassure him and playfully sneak a dab of frosting onto his cheek. He blushes, flustered but smiling, and tries to return the favor. But the moment is interrupted when Echoes starts repeating every measurement Koichi says, making it impossible to focus. “One cup! One cup! One cup!”

You both burst out laughing as Koichi apologizes and tells Echoes to quiet down. Despite the chaos, the two of you manage to make a beautiful batch of cupcakes, and Koichi proudly hands you the first one, beaming with happiness when you tell him it’s delicious.

Rohan Kishibe

Rohan insists on making something “artistic” and spends way too long sketching out intricate designs for the cookies you’re baking together. He’s laser-focused on getting every detail right, using Heaven’s Door to ensure his piping skills are perfect.

You roll your eyes but play along, knowing he takes pride in his work. At some point, you accidentally knock over a bowl of sprinkles, and Rohan looks over with a disapproving glance. “This is supposed to be a masterpiece, not a disaster zone,” he sighs.

In a playful huff, you sprinkle some of the mess onto his hair. He glares, but then a sly smile spreads across his face. He uses Heaven’s Door to write “in love with sprinkles” in your mind. The next thing you know, you’re giggling uncontrollably, tossing sprinkles everywhere while Rohan shakes his head, pretending to be exasperated—but he’s clearly enjoying it.

Not my best work but i really like what i wrote for my love okuyasu so I decided to post :p Requests are open, so don’t be shy to ask for anything you’d like me to write!❤️

If you liked this make sure to check out my other work <3

[recurring-polynya]

Writing Update/Art Update 1.16.2024

Well, I did finish that scene I was fussing about last week, but only on a technicality. The first thing that happened was that I thought of some other scene I wanted to write, and I let myself do that. It's 1800 words of zanpakutou nonsense that is currently slated for late in Chapter 8. I mentioned that I felt like another chapter was creeping its way into my outline, so I just went ahead and rearranged a little. I feel better about the outline, although I'm not sure a second extra chapter won't try to sneak its way in there.

Then what happened was that my friend had a Bake-Off themed birthday party, so I spent several days planning a bake and baking things and being consumed with anxiety and then actually going to the party and then being very, very tired. (In case anyone was curious: Earl Grey roll cake with blood orange curd fill, covered in chocolate ganache, then decorated with Earl Grey whipped cream, candied blood oranges, and raspberry-swirl macarons. It was really good. For the record, the other bakes were on the same level. My friend has some really intense friends 😂)

I went back to The Scene and looked at the outline again, and I realized that I needed to do a POV swap, but I didn't have a scene change. This is tricky business, so what I did was roll back about 1000 words and have Rukia do an exit stage left. That lets Renji take over the narration and Rukia can come back in later. I started the Renji-part but didn't get very far into it, but that was a separate bullet on the outline, so I feel justifying in checking off the Rukia-bullet.

My kids had off yesterday and then it snowed, and they got a snow day today and I am still very tired.

How is the drawing going, P? Well! The second week of prompts was all themed around "packaged food" which was significantly harder to do in a quick and easy way. Then, I mentioned that I wanted to do a Rukia-drawing. I did the sketch and I spent an hour and a half on coloring it. I decided it would look good in pastels, even though I don't know shit about how to use the pastel brushes. In any case, I realized that it was going to take another million hours of work and I simply did not like it enough to put in another million hours of work, so I gave up on it. I can always pick it up again later if I feel like it, but I have too much else to do. So, in other words, I did spend some time drawing on at least five days of last week, which is what my goal was, but I did not have a whole lot to show for it. Like I said last week, I have been posting my daily art to the art club forum, but Wedsday's prompt was "Pickle Jar" and decided to do some Between Tides fanart (by the loosest possible definition of fanart) and show it to you folks instead. This was so frickin' hard, but I really like the way my lil daikon came out!

Anyway, new week, word counter goes back to 0, hopefully this one will be a little more focused and maybe I'll actually be able to make some progress on Chapter 7.

[clambuoyance]

Favorite Superboy villain (if you have one, if not then favorite sb comic) and a plotline you think had a lot of potential but should have been written better

idk about villain (maybe black zero or he's not technically a superboy villain but his fight with cyborg superman was cool.) buttttt in terms of potential i think a lot of sb comics are filled with half-baked ideas that never get to see full fruition :P

i think my favorite is hypertime probably because 1) i liked seeing all the diff kons (into the konverse....) esp robin!kon <3 and 2) seeing him confront Paul and Black Zero and grapple with the darker aspects of himself was neat. I liked seeing the powers Kon could possibly gain in the future and he's just so <333 in that arc. It's been a long while since ive read it tho so i could probably go into more depth if i reread 3) also around this time he's been feeling very down and so seeing yj ask about his whereabouts and mickey cannon being like "i didnt realize so many people cared about him" made me go aaaaaah and later kon asking clark if he came back to the right reality was so interesting to me. i think this arc presents a really neat struggle with belonging and knowing ur place in the universe and it was like yeah <3 he belongs in this reality he is so loved <3

i think my other favorite is him in the whole apokolips arc between his solo and yj. i liked seeing him and his conflict with tim finally reach its climax and him having to deal with the fallout and consequences it has on his friendships w all of yj really, however i was pretty disappointed to not actually see an apology scene between tim and kon even if i think the yj team reuniting chaotically was very in fashion for them

and the whole sins of youth arc in general was cool :0 it gave me the "All I got is who I am!" line so <3

Some other things i liked was the whole peter pan thing ofc --there was a couple issues where he gets trapped in a place and they try to do a lost boys thing but didnt commit (but i have a fic idea thats got one page written about this).

i kinda liked most of his arcs in general, from the beginning with him learning to be a hero in ROTS to him trying to make a name for himself and messing up a lot along the way but continuing to try anyways. but like i said, i think if these emotional arcs could go One step further or allowed to delve into some of the darkness of these arcs or didnt fall back onto tropes his solo would have been stronger.

for example, during the cadmus era of his life, i would have liked to see more exploration of the fact he's back in the place that made him and now have him working for them. or in the hawaii era, they could have gone into how he could have had friends his age at school but got thrown into a wack ass love triangle. in general, the hawaiian issues could have been treated with more respect as well. they also introduced silver sword, but it didn't go anywhere i feel like T-T

also for the kon in smallville plotline i think it would have been cooler to see kon struggle more to be a regular person but his rebel streak keeps taking over

sorry this was all over the place i literally could talk about it for hours which i dont have time for so i just kinda spouted random things <3

[majicmarker]

9(ish) lines, 9 people

tagged by: @kitten1618x :p

…listen, with my penchant for em dashes, sentence fragments, etc., who even knows how many lines this is. what is “nine”? good enough!

so anyway, here’s a snippet from book 2, how to survive a teen sex comedy (the title is a synopsis all its own, like, u get it)—

Because she’s nice, approachable—but also she’s untouchable. Unreal, almost. A celebrity crush of sorts. You can’t be serious about it, lest you completely lose your grip on reality and/or break your own heart (or both. Probably both). You just gotta project your fantasies and move on with your day, because no way are you part of their fantasy. No way are you even on their radar.

Like, listen, Riot’s cute and all, but he’s no poster-on-your-wall heartthrob. And, his small-town reputation notwithstanding, he’s no bad boy Danny Zuko, John Bender, Patrick Verona, take your pick, he doesn’t even have a cool jacket. He’s a fraud! A charlatan! A half-baked rebel without a cause and without the moxie to go all the way!

He’s not what anybody thinks he is. Not what she thinks he is. So how can he go along with what she’s asked him to do?

Anyway, calling Trixie’s request a sexual invitation is pretty generous, seeing as she just kind of… shouted it at him.

tagging: @agentmmayy @carry-the-sky @woodswit @redbelles @ghostofbambifanfiction @hangon-silvergirl @winterrose527 @justhere4thevibez @thewintersoldierdisaster

[avo-kat]

what day is it?

thats right!

and it's my 3 year vegan anniversary! :D

to celebrate the day i made my favourite food, because i love food and can still eat my favs no problem!!

maki sushi with extra firm tofu. tastes p much exactly like i remember.

medovik! 9 layer russian "honey" cake. only date syrup instead of honey, and soy and coconut cream.

my mother used to make this for birthdays. its my favourite cake, but since you gotta bake 9 layers, it takes a bit too make. but SUPER yummy.

its been 3 years since i went vegan and i wanted to think back on my life as vegan so far.

i went vegan after i watched cowspiracy and right after earthlings.

except, thats not quite true.

no staunch meat eater just goes and watches cowspiracy and earthlings and goes vegan. (unfortunately! otherwise thered be way more vegans, haha, if we could simply convince meat eaters to do that.)

no, my vegan journey started way earlier.

i always loved animals. (who doesnt?) in university, back in 2011, i went vegetarian for about half a year. because i felt bad for the animals. it was a sudden, random decision, i dont remember what brought it up. but i only lasted half a year. why? i didnt do any research. none at all. i just figured, okay, not eating literally animals is great! animals dont die for milk and cheese so its fine.

i guess even back then i was too afraid to know the truth.

then, a few years later. corona just became a thing. i got sick. didnt get tested, because there was "no way" i could have. i went on a walk, for my health, with my ex, and i went on a rant about vegans.

i said how much i hated them and their hypocrisy. how vegans were responsible for making poor quinoa farmers even poorer. (yes, really! i said that!)

half a year later i was vegan.

how did that happen?

well, see. i used to feel very anxious about climate change. actually, i started feeling anxious about climate change back in elementary. consider we had started doing something about it back then, huh?

anyway. i felt... powerless.

"feeling ohnmächtig" is what i called it in german. translated its feeling unconscious. or. feeling powerless. helpless. without power to change.

there was nothing i could do. im just a single person. not a politician, not an employee of a company lobbying for less environmental restriction, not a rich person.

just a regular, normal person. no power. no way to change anything.

knowing that didnt make me feel any better, however, strangely enough.

i discovered zero waste. it was at least something. i wasnt overconsuming anything already, i tried zero waste. to alleviate at least some of my guilt and feeling of helplessness. if i at least do what i can...?

well, funny enough: all the people on youtube that made videos about zero waste were vegans. all of them. but they were not those pushy, mean, militant, crazy vegans. no, they were nice. telling their viewers to reduce plastic, simply stuff.

one of them posted a video on why she went vegan.

i didnt watch it for some time. made me uncomfortable. and it didnt matter, either. i was never gonna be vegan. i couldnt. me, vegan? no way in fucking hell. absolutely impossible.

well, i watched it.

here it is, if anybody is curious: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ROgKML9GtCs

And, well. It got me thinking. I could relate to a lot of the things she said.

Well, I went on. Tried bar shampoo, and less plastic, I ate more tofu and veggies in general. Kept watching their videos.

One day, I realized I had to watch Cowspiracy. I had to. For myself. For the environment. (It's what I told myself.)

So I did. I watched Cowspiracy. I sobbed. Decided to go vegan for the environment. And then I watched Earthlings. And decided to go vegan, for the animals.

And that was 3 years ago.

Right at the beginning, I was very sad. Hurt, upset, and angry. I was grieving. For all the animals I hurt, for all the animals that were currently being killed and tortured, because I suddenly saw all that pain around me. In the grocery store, during meal times, it was everywhere. I couldn't escape.

The pain lessened after some time. Then I got angry. Very angry. Those who have followed me way back probably can remember. I was just SO fucking angry. At other people that still dared to eat meat, at corporations and restaurants and politicians and-- mostly myself.

I knew it, deep down, that eating animals wasn't okay. That's why I went vegetarian. I did care, but I was too much of a coward to really learn the truth. I was angry for going that long, refusing to accept the simple truth:

Animals don't want to be eaten. And they don't deserve to be treated the way they are treated now.

It's been 3 years and I definitely calmed down a lot. I still got angry from time to time, but overall I'm definitely way more calm about this.

And... I've been trying to think of the best way to convince others to go vegan. I don't think there is one foolproof way. And as good as being angry and mean may feel at that moment, that probably isn't the best way to convince others. But I don't think complimenting somebody into baby-stepping their way into it, is it either.

I think... the main way people turn vegan is the emotional route.

You CAN rationalize yourself into turning vegan. Like that one philosopher youtube guy.

But you can't rationalize yourself into staying vegan. Because humans aren't rational. You can have the best rational arguments for something, but then one day you get home drunk after going out with friends, there's a cold burger in the fridge and you're hungry and it's probably that you eat it. That's how I stopped being vegetarian.

But if people learn the truth, and learn about the pain animals go through by watching Earthlings or Dominion, that's a whole different ballgame.

So, what's the verdict?

I'm glad I'm vegan, I'm glad I'm no longer that overly angry and I hope I can at least show people it's possible to live a happy life with good food even as a vegan.

[xiaq]

Hi, I have a question re:sex and Christianity. Small background: I still go to church, and I still live with my parents even though I'm not much younger than you, because housing is very very expensive where I live (pretty common here, I would say about 2/3 of my friends live with their parents and we are decently privileged kids)

Anyway. How does one get over purity culture? To be clear, I've never been told in church not to have sex, I've never gotten the gendered lessons that you got. But I am terrified of having sex. My first real, multi-year relationship just ended and while there was hand stuff etc, there was never any p in v sex (lol I feel 12). But I still had insane anxiety about being pregnant despite being on bc. And I think its because I know my parents would be so disappointed if I had sex. And if I was pregnant I could imagine all the gossip. And honestly I think im from a pretty open church, b/c one of our previous ministers kids recently got married at 8 months pregnant and lots of church people were at the wedding and supportive and her parents were there and everything.

I dont even think I particularly like sex, i might be on the ace spectrum, but how do I remove it from all the anxiety that's tied to it so I can even give myself the chance to find out???

(Asking because it seems like you've been pretty open about purity culture/removing yourself from it)

CW for sex talk (again)

How does one get over purity culture?

Oh man. That really is the million-dollar question, huh? Obviously, I can only answer re my personal experiences, and this is something you should talk to a therapist about, but I can tell you how I’ve tackled it with my therapist at least.

Purity culture is, at its core, an ideology that is perpetuated by shame. If you’re indoctrinated into purity culture when you’re a kid, the concepts become baked into the way you construct your identity, your perception of self, and your perception of your sexuality. It’s practically intrinsic, by the time you’re an adult, to feel shame any time you’re reminded you have a body, much less a sexuality.

According to the chapels I sat through every week as a kid, a girl's body could be 3 things: an intentional stumbling block for men, an accidental stumbling block for men, or unnoticeable. Women were to strive for the third option so as to keep their (and their male friends/authority figures) purity intact. After all, if a boy, or even your male teacher, had impure thoughts about you, it was your fault for tempting them (which, holy shit. I still can’t believe that was a thing I bought into for so long. If my 45 yr old grown-ass teacher had impure thoughts because he could see my 12 yr old collarbone, that sure as hell wasn’t my fault. But I digress.) The Only time a woman’s body can be something else, is when she gives it to her husband, at which point she must suddenly flip the switch in her brain that she is now allowed to be a Sexual Being and she must perform Sexual Duties despite living in outright fear of her own body and sexuality for years (decades?) up until this point. Jesus take the wheel.

Purity culture isn’t a thing you can just decide to walk away from if you’ve grown up in it. Because its ideology is insidious and internalized. So first you need to submit to the fact that you’re going to be fucked up about sex. It sounds like you’re there. Second, you need to interrogate what you believe. If you’re leaving religion behind entirely, you’ll approach removing yourself from purity culture differently than if you still identify as a Christian. It sounds like you might be the latter, which meant, for me, separating what’s actually biblical and what’s shitty, contrived, doctrine that I was told is biblical but is actually more political than spiritual. This helps you address the shame issue.

You need to throw away I Kissed Dating Goodbye and Lady in Waiting and all those ridiculous books you read and reread in the hopes of somehow obtaining impossible marriage perfection and look into actual scripture interpreted within its historical context. I could write a book on this, but the TL;DR is that the text of the Bible was written, translated, curated, and changed multiple times over thousands of years by human beings with human biases and, often, personal and/or political agendas. It contradicts itself! Reading it as it is—a flawed historical document—rather than some sort of God-breathed perfect document—is incredibly freeing. When you do, you’ll probably realize that purity culture is bullshit on a spiritual level. Which is a good start, if that matters to you. Because any time you start to feel shame or guilt you can ask yourself: does God actually care if I wear a bikini or touch a dick I’m not married to? Probably not. Wear the bikini. Touch the dick.

The most important therapy session for me was when my therapist asked what I would do if I got to heaven and God was actually the God I’d been raised to fear. What would I do if he condemned me for being bisexual and having premarital sex and becoming educated, for arguing with men, and failing to isolate while menstruating, and wearing mixed fabrics? If Montero had come out at the point, I probably would have said I’d pole dance down to hell. Instead, I said I would spit on heaven’s gates. If a god that cruel and that pointlessly demeaning really exists—a god who would create in me condemned desire—I won't worship him. The good news is, I’m 99% sure he doesn’t exist. At the very least, he isn’t supported by scripture.

Okay. The final thing you need to do is figure out what you actually want, sexually speaking. This bit is probably the hardest. I’m still in the early stages of this myself. You say: “I dont even think I particularly like sex, i might be on the ace spectrum, but how do I remove it from all the anxiety that's tied to it so I can even give myself the chance to find out???” Bro, I wish I had an easy answer for you. For me, whenever I’m feeling anxious about Sex Things, I tell myself: 1. My God does not equate my worth to my sexual habits. 2. My partner does not equate my worth to my sexual habits. 3. I do not equate my worth to my sexual habits. It seems silly, but reminding myself of those three things is massively helpful. If, after I’ve sorted through those, I’m still anxious or uncomfortable, I stop doing the thing. I evaluate. Am I overwhelmed and I need to try again some other time? Do I just not like the thing? Sometimes it’s hard to tell. Sometimes you change your mind. Sometimes you just don’t know. That’s why having a partner who you trust and who’s willing to patiently explore your interests (and respect your disinterests) is so important. Half the battle, for me, was having a partner who told me they’d be ok with no sex at all. Because that took the pressure off me. If the bare minimum they need is nothing, then anything more than that is a bonus! Hooray! This is maybe TMI, but let me tell you. I thought I was asexual* right up until I was able to have moderately non-anxious sex. Never in my life did I think I would initiate a sexual situation but… I do now. It’s a fun thing to do with a person I love and, holy shit. I am furious that I nearly missed out on it.

Finally, re birth control: I don’t know how you can approach that fear in a way that works for you. If you don’t want to ever have penetrative sex, that’s fine! If that’s a point of anxiety you can’t get rid of, then don't push yourself to do it. If you find out you like other sex things, do the other sex things! If you don't like doing any sex things, don't do any sex things! Also, have you considered sleeping with people who can’t get you pregnant? Always an option if it’s an option you want to consider. ;)

Okay. I hope this was even a little bit helpful. Sorry if it’s a little convoluted, I typed it up in bursts during my work breaks.

*This is not at all to say that asexuality can be “fixed." Rather, it’s to say that things like purity culture can drastically confuse your sexuality in general. If you’re asexual, then this process is still important to discover what you like/dislike. Then you can be explicit about those necesities and find a partner who’s a good fit (if you want a partner at all, that is).

[kittydripuwu]

smoking weed with dazai and fyodor

special tags for this one @sadcannibal @whorefordazai

words - 541

warnings - drugs!, mentions of sex, more drugs! minors dni

genre - crack

dazai osamu

- we know this man has a bit of experience with drugs

- ahem throwback to when he took shrooms

- anyways i feel like dazai has some experience with substances aka alcohol and shrooms (maybe other stuff who knows)

- when you first bring up the idea to him tho, he'll be pretty intruiged

- i feel like dazai is the type of person to like trying new things

- so

- he will definetly agree to this

- you'll suggest smoking at night, somewhere nice

- he will take you to some rooftop because he can watch the stars (again with me abt dazai watching the starts oml)

- i feel like dazai's preferred smoking method would be a j

- you and him would share one <3

- *remember people, when u smoke always have water!!*

- anyways

- i feel like dazai's drugs tolerence would be so low

- this man would get so high from like 3 hits

- he would laugh at litterally everything

- like you'll litterally be sitting there and he will laugh

- will start describing everything with great detail

- "the stars are like little people pointing flashlights down on us" (again me with the fucking stars someone stop me i swear)

- "do you think aliens exist?"

- "do you believe in ghosts"

- he will ask you random questions and talk about random theories he's read online

- will CREATE crazy fucking theories like where does this shit come from?

- odd man

- eventually when he gets tired of talking he'll lay down

- watch the stars (>.<) with you

- will take your hand in his and play with it

- trace patterns onto it with his fingers for example

- you on the other hand

- you'll fiddle with his bandages and watch the stars with him <3

- you'll probably listen to trippy music with him

- prepare to have a whole dance party/rave in ur apartment

- SNACKS

- late night grocery store run

- while high asf

- with dazai? amazing.

- just the 2 of u <3

- would fuck you high (might i add)

- you'll fall asleep on the couch with him probably when u get back after eating

- entangled in eachothers arms <3

- so fucking cute

fyodor doestevsky

- you'll bring up the idea to him

- and say it's a way to "relax"

- cause he works so much ugh drag him out of that room plz

- he may be smart but when it comes to substances this man is just ???

- once u explain to him what weed is and what it does

- he'll be like "why would i want to feel like that"

- tell him its fun and that its a way to relax once in a while

- he wont get it

- ugh

- anyways, after FINALLY convincing this man

- he will insist on doing it outside because "safety hazard"

- probably right outside his rat cave ;p (house)

- you'll smoke a j with him

- easiest way imo :D

- he is NOT a lightweight

- smokes half the thing before he feels anything at all

- eventually will get really fucking baked

- he will start telling you about all his plans and reciting them

- please he just needs to share it so let him talk

- will also start questioning the effects

- "why do i feel like this" "why is my hand tingling?" "is this normal"

- yes fyodor, it is

- for a man who doesnt show mUCH physical affection

- get ready to get it ALL in one night

- "do you think sex feels different like this milaya?"

- will want to try litterally everything

- he'll find it so interesting and want to do so many things

- will cuddle with you while watching something really trippy

- he will make jokes. FYODOR will actually make jokes and laugh

- weed does some crazy things to u doesnt it ;p

- eating will be fun

- he will craft an intricate meal

- it'll actually taste good cause hes a cooking god

- god in general tbh

- you'll both get tired after you eat

- will be shocked by how much easier sleep is when high

- falling asleep together <3333

- will want to do it again :D

[matchamabs]

BOTW (and AOC) GUYS: RANKED BY HOW HOT THEY ARE

get ready for some heinous opinions! so im ranking the guys in botw by how hot they are and im taking No criticism. idk if i forgot anyone but i tried

check it out under the cut 

sorry but this twink is just. average. like Painfully average. hes like white bread. therefore he gets an average score. i can appreciate hes a cute lookin guy? but like. thats it. if u fancy link u probably like mayonnaise. he looks like mayonnaise. grow a fuckin tache or smth dude for the love of god. 5/10 very normal.

ok im a diehard bird simp but like... this boy is fuckin ugly lmao. hes pretty at the same time tho? nice smile, nice eyes, nice voice but yellow eyebrows? green eyes? red makeup? clown. he’s a bird clown. tho i guess some ppl find clowns hot so this one’s for the pennywise crowd. 5/10. he’s a 10/10 in my heart tho.

now this is a MAN. u got the good smile, the strong arms, the r i p p l i n g  m u s c l e s. he is a man u can trust. his arm hair is a bit wild but if u dont like his incredible facial hair, then.... idc. 7/10. they made a rock handsome. thats impressive. 3 points off for the forehead vagina tho. dont like that.

hot fucking damn. this is what we in the biz call a raging dilf. he looks like the kind of dad that never grew out of his punk rock phase. idk how i feel abt the broken traffic light look but its fine. just look into his gorgeous eyes and listen 2 his deep gravelly voice as he tells u to fuck off and leave him alone. perfection. the voice already makes him like 20/10 but the mullet is fucking awful and he should be penalised for that. 8/10. grow a fringe like the rest of us.

ah the shape of water... ok yeah the fish is fuckable ill grant u that. hes All fuckin torso tho and his eyes r constantly pointing in different directions which is not the Most Flattering Look and he Will hit u with his head handlebars and it will hurt. the 24-pack aint half bad either but i always get this feeling that he looks like he skips... some kind of day. not arm day, not leg day, but... some kind of day. maybe brain day.  8/10. sharp teeth are always sexy.

10/10. i dont fuckin care if u hate his hair- this man probably invented the most effective hairspray in existence just to make that happen. respect him. u cannot deny hes hot tho like theres just Something about him. the confidence... the attitude... i worry about revealing his eyes tho. theres a 50% chance it will not work in ur favour and he’ll just look heinous. full 10/10 tho. old robbie is also not bad 2 look at if ur not a coward but he Might leave u for an easy bake oven so like. watch out for that.

well the queen saw something in him??? i genuinely fear the idea of ever getting to see his chin from under that magnificent beard tho. he’s probably got the jawline of a russian power lifter. anyway for an old guy hes not lookin that bad so long as u dont mind a receding hairline. ill b nice. 5/10. for a king u could do worse. ill be taking complaints about this take in my dms. bring a bat. 

where do i begin. i love beedle. i rlly do but theres.... so much going on. personality is a 10/10, business skills are 10/10/ haircut is -50/10 and the crop top....? well ill give him 10/10 for confidence. 4/10 im sorry he is just a Lot to look at. he looks like rock lee tried to become a slutty pirate king. shonen jump will have a lot to answer for.

the colour scheme is... better than revali, tho i didnt realise how obnoxious it was until i actually got a good look at him. ive never seen a bird look so top heavy before but this mans got 5 kids so i have nothing but respect for my king. kass is for the dilf crowd that like the dad bods. 8/10 he is quite nice to look at ngl. he’s like revali but light mode.

ok yunobo is very cute i wont lie but the hair is just massively disarming. idk its all i can think about. is this a goron emo phase?? is that what that is?? ive been staring at it for like 5 minutes and i still cant work out if i like it or not. 5/10 he is a humble lad. 

under all that gear kohga could look like willem dafoe x50 and id still find him attractive. he cant be hot tho. he just cant be. like looks wise he has to be 1/10 under that there is no way this man could feasibly be conventionally attractive and tbh i like it that way. banana boy gets 6/10. hotter than revali. revali looks like a clown but kohga looks like the entire fucking circus

there is nothing unattractive about bolson. 10/10. sha-ding

i hate the hair i hate the hair i hate the hair i hate the hair SO fucking much but the voice. he has to be hot under that gear with a voice like that. if hes not well. just close ur eyes. the voice will take care of the rest. 8/10 the crack in his mask actually makes him look sexier and i dont understand how that can happen

????????????????????????? he looks. like an old man? i swear those big wingy bits are his eyebrows but i cant Quite be sure. why would a tree need eyebrows. ??/10 keep ur questionable gifts to urself

-100000/10 who the fuck let this budget pokemon npc in here. he looks like he should b leading team ganon across the kanto region. he probably draws those lines on his face to make himself look older and listens to mother mother. im gonna punch his third eye. no this is not a biased opinion 

[tezzbot]

appledash headcanons? i need more of them in my life tbh </3 [also i love the way you draw ponies,,, they're just so,,,, shaped and cool,,,]

i have been thinking a lot about dash moving in with the apples a lot recently, like her getting accustomed to their little traditions and like trying to like find her place in the household n stuff, maybe confiding in sugarbelle since this was a process shes already been through getting used to living w the apples?

i just like to imagine little domestic scenes like at night when its dark and theyre all in like. the living room or whatever just sitting together chatting, telling stories n jokes and stuff n its all cozy and warm, maybe the couples cuddled up on the couches, granny knitting or smth in Her Chair, and in the mornings when everyones getting up its like they all have to figure out how to weave in and out of each others way cus like, adding sb and rd to the house its more crowded than its been in decades and it ends up looking like some kind of weird dance up and down the stairs on the landing and in the kitchen lol

i also like to imagine they have a little like firepit maybe a little bit in the orchard behind the house and if they sit out there long enough it starts feeling like an at home camping trip... if youve ever been sat outside though sundown around fire you know the feeling qwq.. maybe aj brings out an instrument of hers and gives little personal apple chord performances or they do a little family singsong w tunes that have been passed down through generations apple to apple or she just mindlessly like lightly plays it giving a little bit of bg music

and then eventually, after getting used to her living there, when dash has to leave for however long for wonderbolts excursions her absence is absolutely felt, maybe the house is slightly quieter without her rowdy ass hovering around jokingly whining about all the work she has to do now lmao

and oh man having rds parents over for dinner or something would be a laugh and a half for fuckin sure omg everyone just swapping stories embarassing each other like families are supposed to do

i feel like dash would be good helping bring in the harvests, i dont think shed buck i dont think pegasi are built for that lol shed probably just fly from tree to tree and just shimmy and shake the apples down, i feel like sugarbelle would like help w the finances n stuff and do little bake sales in the ponyville market from time to time or maybe the cmcs take her stuff to the schools to help w funds to keep the farm going, though i think dash's celebrity paycheck would help cover anything that keeps them out of the red :P

god can you imagine how excited dash and aj would be to hear that theyre going to be aunts to big mac and sugarbelles foal,,, i feel like theyd be like omg congrats thats so cool :)!! but like in private theyre like OH MYG OD WE ARE GOING TO BE THE BEST AUNTS EVER IN THE WORLD fghgjgkhfhfg

ANYWAY sorry this got long and was more abt the apples as a unit rather than just appledash lmao i just have a lot of feelings about domestic shit it makes me so so so soft<3<3

and thank you so much!!! i love drawing the horses :P

[ahtsumu]

the mystery of love ; kuroo tetsurou

pairing: kuroo tetsurou x f!reader

synopsis: kuroo tetsurou does not believe in soulmates. he believes in science, himself, and sometimes other people. but that doesn’t mean he can’t believe in love.

tag(s): sweet summer lovin’, friends to lovers, inspired by call my by your name, university student!kuroo tetsurou, lab intern!kuroo tetsurou, so much pining lol, fluff, angst, slow burn ; warning(s): profanity, mentions of alcohol ingestion (it’s legal bc they’re in italy!), suggestive themes ; wc: 4.8k

a/n: happy birthday tetsu!! i hope you guys like this. i really enjoyed writing it ♡

Kuroo Tetsurou does not believe in soulmates. He believes in science, himself, and sometimes other people. At least, that’s what he tells you. Sometimes you treat this information as a source of hope; other times, you’re not sure what to make of it.

This, you realise with his shoulder pressed against yours and both your bodies sprawled across his wrinkled bed sheets, is one of those other times. You turn your face to look at his.

“What?” he asks, one side of his mouth curling up in a smile.

For a moment, you wonder what would happen if you just said it. You could blame the alcohol. Get away with it scot-free. While you mull the option over in the dead silence of his room, your brain suddenly registers the music still playing from the living room. The low bass reverberating through the walls. How close your lips are. The sound of his breaths.

“Earth to Y/N?”

And like that, the little what-if that rose in your mind falls back with its tail between its legs. You bite your lip, look around his room like the walls have a script printed on them. Unfortunately, they do not.

“I was just thinking about my shirt.” It’s not great, but it’s the best you can do while still feeling the vodka and orange juice burn in your stomach. And smelling it on yourself.

Kuroo’s laugh booms through the room and you can’t help but giggle along with him. “I said I was sorry!” he says, hazel eyes twinkling with mirth. He pauses and glances at his closet, then nods his head in its direction. “Take a hoodie. Your pick.”

A smile–– one you try to downplay but fail miserably to–– creeps up your face. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Kuroo replies. “You can also shower here if you want. It's the least I can do after spilling my drink all over you.”

When you emerge from Kuroo’s bathroom in one of his thinner hoodies, a lot soberer and drying your hair, he’s not on the bed anymore. Quietly, you step out of his room and look for him through the house. People are crashed everywhere–– on the sofa, over the kitchen counter, even propped up against walls. The floor is covered with plastic cups and mysterious pools of liquid. Wrinkling your nose, you try your best to step around the messes, looking in every corner in the house for the raven-haired boy.

You find him back in his room, actually. He’s back on his bed scrolling through his phone, the light illuminating his sharp features. When he hears you close the door behind you, he looks up, eyes immediately zeroing in on the black hoodie over your torso. The corner of his mouth twitches up.

“Where’d you go?” you both ask at the same time. He chuckles; you grin. Crawling back onto the bed, you tell him to go first.

“I went around to make sure nothing’s broken,” he explains. “Perks of being the only sober intern in the house, I guess.”

A beat passes.

This house is rented. You forgot about that. All his expenses are paid for by your mother’s lab. You forgot about that. He fits in your world so well, like maybe he’s always had a spot there, that you forgot that Kuroo Tetsurou is only here for the summer.

“Right.”

Kuroo raises a brow. “And you?”

“I went to look for you.”

He smiles and holds his hands out like a magician at the end of a trick. “Well, you found me.”

“Yeah,” you muse. “I guess I did.” Aren’t you lucky.

With that, something shifts in the air. A contemplative expression crosses Kuroo’s face. Maybe he’s realised how his words come out sometimes. Kuroo often says things that sound like they have more than one meaning and it used to throw you off, but now you just go with it. You’ve even picked up that habit yourself. “Do you ever wish that you’d met someone earlier? Maybe under different circumstances?” he asks.

Sighing, you fall back against his mattress and stare up at the ceiling. Telling the truth feels easier when you can’t see him. “Yeah. All the time.” A few seconds pass. “Do you think we would’ve been friends if we went to the same college?”

He also lies down. You’re both back in the same positions you were in an hour ago, but something’s changed. “No,” he admits. You’re not surprised–– that’s what you’d expected. “I’d be a junior and you’d be a freshman. We probably would’ve never met. And even if we had, I wouldn’t be caught dead hanging out with a… freshie.” He chuckles softly at the end. “And look at me now,” he adds softly, more to himself than you. You look over at his face. A contemplative smile rests on his lips.

That urge to just say it returns.

“Kuroo, I think––”

“You’re my favourite p–– oh, my bad. You first.”

And it goes away again.

“Um, uh,” you stutter, “how long do you have left here?”

Kuroo raises his brows. “On this planet? Hopefully a while, Y/N.” He sees your unamused expression and drops the front. “Three more weeks.”

Your eyes widen. Eight weeks have already passed. Blood rushes to your ears. Eight entire weeks have already passed, meaning that in three weeks, Kuroo Tetsurou will leave forever. And in four, you will, too. Except you’ll come back. You’ve done so every summer since you were born, probably will do until you die.

But this place will never be the same as it used to. Not after him.

“Y/N?” Once everything comes back into focus, you see the concern riddling his features. “Everything okay?”

“Hmm? Yeah.”

Say it.

“You didn’t have too much to drink, right?”

Say it.

“I just got buzzed. What about you?”

“The only drink I was planning on having all went to your shirt.”

Say it.

“Kuroo.”

“Yeah?”

Not yet.

“Let’s go on an adventure.”

At two AM, everything is different. The streets feel different, the villas look different, and you–– you can’t put your finger on it but Kuroo Tetsurou has changed, too. He sits behind the wheel of your father’s white 1953 Cadillac with the convertible roof down, unruly hair blown back by the breeze, a euphoric grin stretched over his face. In the passenger’s seat, you sit with an equally large beam and your hands raised into the dark sky.

“Where to, Miss?” he shouts over the wind.

“The stars,” you shout back with a laugh. Kuroo’s cat-like eyes briefly flit over to your side profile, lips curving to form a smaller, more tender smile. But you miss that–– your gaze falls on him just a second after his return to the road.

“I heard you say Jack’s,” he says, smirking.

The 24/7 diner sticks out like a sore thumb in the row of sun-baked stucco and stone buildings with its bold neon lights and shiny exterior. During the day, it seems gaudy, way too American for a small town in northern Italy. But at night, this place feels like home. You’ve been stumbling into Jack’s completely shit-faced since you were sixteen. Of course, all those other times had been with the kids of your mother’s coworkers. All those other times, you could hardly remember what you even ordered when you woke up hours later.

But this time, you walk in with Kuroo Tetsurou at half-past-two in the morning, the chemicals running through your bloodstream epinephrine and dopamine, not ethanol; if you’re drunk then it’s on a feeling and your only poison is the boy next to you. You study his face and consider that thought. No, he’s not poison. He’s the antidote.

“Y/N!” the server exclaims, rushing over with two menus. “And Kuroo! My two favourite customers, but together this time!” Giovanni ushers you two to a booth by the window and takes your orders, purely for show, of course. He knows your orders by heart: the Lorenzo for Kuroo and the Quentin for you.

“With fries on both, please,” Kuroo adds, throwing you a wink. “Aren’t I a gentleman?”

“You only did that to have more for yourself,” you reply drily. Having him over at your house for dinner every night made picking up his idiosyncrasies so unbelievably easy. You know them like they’re your own. You know him like he’s your own.

Kuroo clutches his chest and pretends to be offended, then changes the conversation to what happened at the lab today, or rather, yesterday. That your mother and the other researchers are so close to finding a cure for the strain of virus that’s recently hit crickets in southern Italy.

“You should drop by again sometime,” he says. “Last time you came around was, what, two weeks ago?”

Your face breaks in a grin. “Are you saying you’ve missed me? Chemistry getting boring?” you tease, drawing a loud laugh from him.

“Sodium hydrogen, you little shit.” Your mother’s used this one on you before, but hearing it from him makes you giggle anyway.

Giovanni comes back with two plates, each loaded with fries. You both say your thanks and he retreats to the kitchen again, but not before wiggling his eyebrows at your reddening faces. Wordlessly, you grab your fork and knife and transfer at least half of your fries onto Kuroo’s plate. Kuroo stares at you with the slightest smile. That look sends your stomach into flips.

“What?” you question nonchalantly, cutting into your burger.

“Nothing,” he says, mirroring your actions. “Nothing at all.”

It’s hard to imagine that after spending almost every day together for eight weeks straight that there’s still more to learn about each other, but there is. You tell him more about your real home. Your best friend who called you at 3 AM last night because of timezones. Stories from every summer before this one, when you were a different person in the same place you are now.

He tells you more about Kenma, his best friend from high school. How they played on one of the best volleyball teams in Japan. Stories from training camp, literature class, the metro ride home after school–– you listen to every single one in rapt attention. There’s not enough time in the world for all the things you want to know about Kuroo Tetsurou, so you take what you can get. If only you’d known him before you’d known him.

“If we’d met earlier here, do you think we would’ve been friends?” you ask after paging Giovanni for the check.

“No,” he replies, picking up a few remaining fries with his fork instead of his fingers. The corners of your mouth turn up. That’s your thing. He considers the scenario seriously. “I think we met right when we should have.”

“What about the future?” you press, leaning into the conversation. “Let’s say we meet in two years here, instead of now. Would we be friends?”

Kuroo sets his fork down, eyes you steadily. “What’s this about?”

You blink. “What?”

“What’s with all these hypotheticals today?” Perhaps worried that he came off too harshly, Kuroo adds, “I thought I was the scientist.”

“I just… it feels like I’ve known you since forever.” This feels like it was meant to be, you don’t say. And I want to know you forever.

A sigh–– fond, but still a sigh–– blows through his lips. “Don’t tell me you believe in soulmates,” he says with a wicked grin.

“Are you calling me your soulmate?” The question, shamelessly genuine, painfully hopeful, leaves your mouth without you intending it to and you regret it instantly. Because Kuroo Tetsurou has told you many times that he does not believe in soulmates.

Is it so bad to dream, though?

You watch him carefully but he doesn’t say anything, just continues smiling wryly like you’d intended to tease him. Like he knows that you know better. But you don’t.

“Are you?” he suddenly replies. Sharp eyes hold yours, daring you to respond. Do you dare?

At that moment, Giovanni returns with the check. “Who’s paying?” he asks, unaware of the tense exchange that just occurred across the table. Inaudibly, you sigh in relief. Kuroo is about to say that it’s on him when he catches himself in the middle of his sentence, looks your way, then back to Giovanni. He says you’ll go Dutch. You nod in approval.

“So,” Kuroo drawls once you’ve both paid for your meals. “Where do we go from here?”

Good question.

Kuroo Tetsurou has never been to an outdoor club period. And though he’s been clubbing, he has never once gone dancing in his lifetime. You tell him that’s about to change as he parks the car in a lot near the venue. Before him, all your summer nights were spent here.

“You’ve been here for two months and you haven’t been to an outdoor club yet?” you ask while unbuckling your seatbelt. That can’t be possible. If you’d been in his shoes… an attractive college student in a foreign country for the summer, you would have gone wild.

“Nope. I’ve been a little busy, y’know, spending my days in a lab, handling chemicals, studying viruses, washing lab equipment, writing up reports for your mother and her colleagues, working on my own research on the side… the usual.” He flashes you a bright, sarcastic smile.

“Poor baby,” you coo, ruffling his hair. Kuroo laughs while you continue messing with the dark locks. “Was your first full day here the only tourist-day you’ve had so far?” His weekends, you already know, are spent either lounging around cafés, pools, or the great outdoors with you or the interns. But you’d assumed he’d had time to do some exploring on his own.

Kuroo nods. “And my guide wasn’t even that great,” he mutters, shooting you a dark look. “She sped through every attraction and hardly spoke a word outside of the tour to me. I think she hated me.”

You giggle and open the door, letting the music from the outdoor speakers infiltrate the bubble inside your car. “Maybe she was just nervous!” you say as you get out. That’s a lie.

“About what?” Kuroo follows suit, the gravel crunching beneath his feet. “I was so friendly to you and you just brushed me off each time.” He pouts.

But you don’t reply. Instead, you just grab his hands and pull him towards the venue. As you step into the boundaries marked by fairy lights and rustic wooden fences, Kuroo stops in his tracks and tugs on your intertwined hands. You glance down before up, trying to memorise how his hand looks around yours in the few seconds you can steal.

“Y/N,” Kuroo says. The strobe lights paint his skin pink, blue, purple like it’s a canvas. “Tell me why you were nervous.” Grammatically, it’s a command. And yet it sounds like he’s begging.

“What’s it mean to you?” you ask, feeling your heartbeat speed up in your chest. So what if you just… said it? What would happen?

“Everything?” he replies with a cheeky smile. The odds that he seriously means that are slim. But… they’re there. You shake that possibility out of your mind. That’s just the hope talking.

“Depends how convincingly you say it.” You tug on his arm. “C’mon. Let’s dance.” But he doesn’t budge–– he just continues to stand by the entrance of the club with an expectant look on his face. People are starting to stare.

“Fine,” you say with an eye roll. “I’ll tell you." Kuroo smirks, something self-congratulatory ready to leave his mouth, but then you let go of his hand and dance backwards into the throng of moving bodies. “But first, you’re gonna have to dance with me!” 

You allow yourself to be swallowed by the lively music, the people, the moment. Seconds later you’re deep enough into the crowd that you lose sight of Kuroo. Something in you says that he’ll show up soon, though. For now, you let yourself breathe. Forget about the heaviness of what-if’s, the itch to confess, the dread of the aftermath. Feelings are a lot like gravity. Sometimes they keep you grounded, other times, they weigh you down. This is one of those other times.

You dance up to a friendly-looking group of teens your age. Three guys and two girls. You shout your name and follow up with how it’s nice to meet them, hoping one of them finds you nice enough to keep around. Dancing alone in a club is one of the worst things that can ever happen to someone. Luckily, one of the girls–– the one wearing a purple wig–– pulls you in for a hug, drunkenly shouting back, “Bianca!” Bianca pushes you into their circle next to one of the guys and, just like that, you two start moving to the beat, feeling it in your feet, shoulders, hips. At one point, you turn around and take a good look at his face. The guy’s cute enough, but he’s not Kuroo. Still, you say nothing as he moves closer to you and grabs your hand, lifting it up and motioning for you to twirl.

Suddenly, a pair of hands grip firmly onto your waist and pull you out of the circle. “Hey!” You look down, suddenly realising they’re Kuroo’s. A shiver runs down your spine. He spins you around to face him. His lips are set in a firm line, eyes completely devoid of humour, nostrils slightly flared.

“Hi,” you say quietly, testing the waters.

“Hi,” he replies curtly. His hands are still on your waist. Selfishly, you choose not to point that out. Instead, you try to defuse the situation with a light question. Playful tone.

“Where were you this whole time?”

“Looking for you.”

“Well… you found me.” You flash him a sheepish grin. A peace offering of some sort.

“I did.” He doesn’t take it.

“Lucky you.”

Irritation finally seeps through his features. “You just left me on the dance floor!” he snaps. “And then when I find you after searching the entire venue, you’re dancing up on some random guy!”

“It was in good fun!” you retort, wriggling out of his grip. “And I wasn’t dancing up on him.” You want to ask if he’s jealous so badly, but you take a good look at his face and decide against that.

“Fun?” he asks incredulously. “Worrying about losing you, worrying about myself getting lost, then having to worry about that guy after finding you isn’t very fucking fun to me, Y/N!” The words fly out of his mouth like daggers without pause. Once finished, he looks at you with a disappointed gaze, shaking his head lightly, chest rising and falling with each heavy breath.

“I’m sorry,” you say, looking down at your shoes. It doesn’t matter if you disagree with him–– a sort of shame drills itself so deeply into your conscience that all you can think about is making things right again. “I didn’t think my actions through.”

A second passes. You wonder what he’s thinking.

“Hey, look at me.” Kuroo lifts your chin up with an index finger. Your wide eyes meet his narrow ones. Just as a pink beam glides over his face, his gaze softens, falls down to your lips. And then you feel his thumb on your chin, barely grazing the skin of your bottom lip. His Adam’s apple bobs up and down. The revelry in the background fades to dull beats against your eardrums. Suddenly, you register that he smells of, as usual, blackcurrant and amber.

But now you also smell of blackcurrant and amber.

You’re wearing his clothes. You smell of him.

Kuroo’s eyes crawl back up to yours, wide like he’s just been caught in the middle of a crime. You blink expectantly, ignoring the furious way your heart pounds in your chest. Shallow breaths puff through your slightly parted mouth.

“I am.” It comes out barely a whisper. C’mon. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me kiss me kiss me kiss me kiss me kiss me––

You gently touch the hand he has on your chin. Kuroo jolts back like he’s been burned. “I’ll, uhm, I’ll be in the car,” he stutters, looking away from your face. He pushes through the sea of people, leaving you all alone on the dance floor, body doused in blue light, fingers touching the area his thumb had been as if preserving its print.

Kuroo hardly notices you slip into the passenger’s seat minutes later. He’s got his forearms hanging over the steering wheel and gaze fixed ahead into the darkness, mind probably running off to a place he wishes his body was, too.

As soon as you’ve buckled yourself in, Kuroo starts the car.

The entire drive home is silent.

Once Kuroo pulls into your courtyard and parks, he turns off the engine, unbuckles his seatbelt, and steps out of the car. Wordlessly, you follow his actions and meet him by the stairs to your door.

“Hi,” you say quietly. He doesn’t look at you.

“Hey.”

The two of you stand outside your front door in silence as you both consider what to say next. This can’t be the way it ends.

“I shouldn’t have… done that,” Kuroo says first.

“Done what?” You choose to play dumb. Call it selfish, but you want to hear him say it. Maybe then it’ll feel as real as it had been. Kuroo sighs and leans his shoulder against the stone wall, crossing his arms over his chest. There’s no way he can dance around what happened. Perhaps the past two months can be summed up as the development of a strong friendship with skilled doublespeak and metaphors and just enough artistic licence, but this can’t. And Kuroo knows that. He can’t feed you an alternative truth like he’s done so many times before. What’s more, he can’t lie to himself anymore. So maybe it’s better just to not speak at all.

Your eyes burn holes into the side of his face. Fine. You’ll concede first. “I was never nervous.”

Kuroo blinks, turns his head around to look at you. “What?”

“I was never nervous. I was playing it cool because I didn’t want to risk befriending you and getting attached.” I’m still playing it cool, you don’t say. And I’m already attached. “Guess I just came off as a bitch instead.” You laugh. “But can you blame me? You were this cute, older guy. Smart, too, since you were interning with my mom. You were my dream guy.”

An amused breath blows out of his nose. “Were?” he questions, grinning, only remembering the fragility of your platonic relationship a second later. “Um––”

“Are.” It slips out of your mouth without you realising. Fuck. Kuroo stills. It’s too late to take back your words now, so you might as well just keep going. “You still are my dream guy.”

Seconds pass and neither of you says anything. Sweat gathers in the palms of your hands. You start to feel your heartbeat through your neck. The buzz of the cicadas grows louder. Oppressive. Behind Kuroo, the sky is starting to turn pale blue and pink in the horizon. That means it’s almost sunrise. The night is almost over, and, hopefully, so is this awful conversation.

“And… you don’t feel the same.” Funnily, you feel like you’re lying. You’re telling Kuroo how he feels and you think you’re lying. Does that make sense? None of this night even feels real. God, you hope this has all just been a dream. Mustering a soft smile, you say, “That’s okay. Thank you for the party. And the adventure.” It was fun while it lasted. You feel the house key in your pocket and turn to unlock the door. “I hope this doesn’t change anything between us, Kuroo. Can we still be friends?” The words leave your mouth feeling like barbed wire. You know damn well you can’t still be friends.

And suddenly, you feel his calloused hands around your cheeks. Suddenly, his hot breath fans over your face.

“Can I kiss you?” he murmurs.

Your eyes close instantly. “Yes, please.”

And suddenly, his soft lips are on yours.

Kuroo breaks the kiss seconds later. “Fuck,” he whispers, resting his forehead against yours, touching the tips of your noses together. “Y/N, I don’t want to be friends. Fuck.” A dry chuckle leaves his mouth. He pauses to collect his thoughts but decides that that can wait. Instead, he presses another kiss to your lips so fervently that he backs you up against the wall with no space between your bodies. You wonder if he can feel your heartbeat like this, chest to chest. Kuroo’s hands travel down your waist and rest on your hips. His tongue runs across your tongue, your teeth, the insides of your mouth. You gently suck on it, drawing a satisfied moan from him. When the kiss ends, you see that his lips are red and cheeks are swollen. A warm feeling spreads through your chest. “I thought I could be happy just being friends with you but I can’t. I want you so bad it hurts. Not to mention, when I saw you in my hoodie?” His fingers pinch the material. “I thought God was testing me or some shit.”

“Sure didn’t feel like you wanted me that way,” you retort, still breathless.

“In my defence,” Kuroo says, thumbs tracing your cheekbones, “I was very scared.”

“Of what?”

It looks like he’s about to tell you, but he changes his mind and doesn’t answer. He grabs your hand and pulls you back to the car with a cheeky grin. “I’ll tell you only if you tell me where we can watch the sunrise.”

Kuroo holds your hand, stroking your thumb the entire drive there.

After a short hike, you plop down on the grassy hillside, supporting your body with outstretched arms in the back. Kuroo sits down beside you with one of his hands covering yours, fingers intertwined like a honeysuckle vine around a hazel tree. You tell him that you grew up running along this hill with your parents. It used to be your playground. Maybe, you think, it’s time to make new memories here.

“Beautiful,” Kuroo breathes, a wonderstruck look in his eyes. The sun’s just risen halfway above the pink and blue horizon, the saturated orange casting the entire city below gold. It’s not just the city, though. He’s also gold. He’s just as beautiful. You watch him with a soft smile on your lips, noting how his wide eyes and slack jaw return to normal as he stares off into the distance. After resting your head on his shoulder, you fix your eyes on the sunrise ahead. You wonder what he’s thinking so quietly about.

“Penny for your thoughts?” you finally ask once the sun has finished revealing itself.

Kuroo blinks, returning to reality, but continues to stare straight ahead. “I was just thinking about… soulmates.”

You lift your head off his shoulder. “Don’t tell me you believe in soulmates now,” you tease.

“Hmm.” He turns to look at you, the sun turning his hazel eyes the colour of honey. That same wry smirk from Jack’s returns to his face.

“You wanna know why I was so scared?”

“Pray tell.”

“Because I’ve never felt this way towards anyone.”

“That’s bullshit.”

“No,” Kuroo laughs, laying his head down in your lap, looking up into your eyes. “I’m serious. I used to purposely stay away from girls in high school. Same in college. Same all the way until you somehow wormed your way into my life. That’s why we wouldn’t have been friends.” You cock your head to the side.

“Why?” you ask, running your fingers through his hair.

Kuroo’s eyelids flutter shut. He inhales deeply before talking. “My parents are divorced. The years before the divorce were… very ugly.” 

(He spares you the details of the midnight arguments, the smashed plates, the holes in the walls. He spares you the details of how he only ever knew how to fall asleep with his head sandwiched between two pillows, how he hasn’t seen his sister in a decade, how he’ll curse and snap but never yell because he always feels like a child again around the noise. That’s for another time, if you’ll have any.) 

“I still remember all the fighting and yelling. For the longest time, that’s all I knew about marriage and relationships.”

“Did you think all relationships were like that? Fighting and yelling?” you ask.

“For a while, yeah. I’m still a little scared of that, to be honest. Ending up in a relationship where all you do is fight.” Kuroo sighs. “But that’s not the only thing. I thought I wouldn’t know how to love someone, growing up like that.” At that, your fingers pause in his hair.

“Wait,” you say, furrowing your brows. A wave of immense sadness (not for yourself, for him) washes over you. “You think you wouldn’t know how to love someone else?”

“Thought.” Kuroo cracks open his eyes and smiles up at you. “I’m in the process of changing my mind.”

[mansions-maiden]

Can I request promt 1 with isaac, if you still take request if not then you can ignore this

Prompt : You make a great pillow

pairing : reader x Isaac

Word count : 1.2K

Isaac was returning to the mansion from yet another stressful day at University. Teaching was hard and stressful sometimes. But it's the thing he enjoyed the most. Sharing his knowledge and enthusiasm for science with his students was his passion.

You noticed that your boyfriend would often be found locked up in his room for hours at a stretch, after the university. You were worried about him. You knew his unusual bloodlust and its consequences when he doesn't take food and rouge. But he wasn't the type to rest upon a single request.

So you were naturally forced to find an alternative way to make him rest.

The following evening, when he returned to the mansion, he searched for you and found you in the kitchen, baking something. His senses could recognize the sweet aroma of pie crust being baked and also the sweet smell of apples.

He wasn't aware that you were preparing his SECRET favourite dessert, apple pie. He looked around; his path was clear and no other vampire could be found in the vicinity.

He immediately approached you and hugged you from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder. You were surprised at first but then laughed softly at his affectionate action.

You turned your head to his side and kissed him on the cheek, stopping for a moment from your cooking and putting your hands on his wrapped ones around your torso.

"What is it Mr Professor? Did you miss me?" You joked as you turned around in his engulfed arms. But your smile morphed into a concerned look when you saw prominent dark circles beneath his eyes. You rested both of your palms on either of his cheeks as you examined his tired face and cherry blossom eyes that lost their lustre to tiredness. "Isaac, I'm sorry to keep you away from your science, but you are to go to le thermae, right. Now. "

He became reluctant on hearing your words. But he saw the pleading look in your eyes and nodded his head. " That's great Isaac. Join me in your room afterwards. " You waved him bye as he marched towards le thermae.

In the meantime, you continued your cooking, making apple pie, some sandwiches and soon you made a beeline to his room taking a bottle of rouge and blanc along with the dishes on a tray.

15 minutes later, you saw him a bit relaxed after taking a bath. "Come here, Isaac. Today, I'm going to make you rest and make sure you are spoiled. " You patted the space beside you on his bed and told him to sit there.

As he sat down, you checked his temperature just to make sure that he didn't tire himself so much to the extent that he would be down with fever. You sighed, feeling relieved. You brought him the tray with dishes and sat down again.

He looked at all the dishes and cast a curious gaze at you. You sighed softly as you explained to him, " You look like a zombie, Isaac! You're working yourself to the bone. Tonight, you're under my watch and I'm forbidding you from working late into the night. Now c'mon! Let’s eat this!"

He smiled a little and you both began eating the apple pie and the sandwiches you had prepared. And eventually, the tray was empty.

After filling his stomach to the brim, he burped and smiled sheepishly at you. " Hehe, thank you for baking these. I really loved them! "

"It's okay silly! I was worried about you. Now, what shall we do next?"

Isaac thought for a while before answering," Hmm… how about we talk about our day? "

"Sure, how was your day? Are you working on anything new?" You asked as you turned to face him.

"Nothing new at the university. And I am working on this thing…" Isaac's face lit up again at the mention of things he was doing and working on. While he continued his passionate speech, you can't help but shake your head at the realisation that nothing really can quench his passion for physics and science, and a small appreciative smile crept onto your lips.

It was past dinner time as you both were lost in your own little world you both built together. You realized how late it was as the clock in his room chimed.

"Hey Isaac, shall we sleep? It's already past midnight. " You said as you rubbed your suddenly drowsy eyes.

His eyes widened at the realization and immediately apologized for keeping you up this late. You brushed it off telling him it's fine and that you enjoyed listening to him talk about something passionately.

He looked at the clock and asked, "Sleep here with me tonight. It’s late anyway." You shrugged nonchalantly, agreeing to his statement. You stood up from your spot, to get ready for sleep.

He suddenly pulled you back by your waist gently and you landed on his lap. You let out a gasp of surprise. He nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent and perfume's fragrance. His voice came out muffled as he whispered, "It's been a while since we've spent time together. I missed having you in my arms, MC."

"I missed being with you too. Shall we go on a date this weekend? But for now, let's sleep. " Isaac agreed to both of your statements.

You both laid on the bedside by side and soon fell asleep, engulfed in each other's warmth and company.

THE NEXT MORNING

You opened your eyes at the usual time and turned towards Isaac, who was still sound asleep. His face was peaceful, ridden of stress due to his profession and daily activities. You brushed his bangs aside with a gentle touch and kissed him on his forehead. You began playing with his hair, running your fingers through the locks of his hair. "You silly, no matter how much you love something, you ought to take a rest sometimes. You never stop making me worry about you." You whispered, with only walls and objects to listen to your words.

You saw movements from Isaac and he hugged you tightly, leaving you surprised with the unusual strength he possessed even during the half-asleep state. "Mmm… Thank you for forcing me to rest yesterday… I am feeling so much better. And your body is so soft and warm, I can't help but fall into a deep sleep. And your fragrance is so soothing. You make a great pillow, MC"

"Let's stay like this for a little longer then" you hugged him back and rested your head on his shoulder, and he dozed off again. But he was unaware of the effect his words had on you. Your pulse went up as you remembered his words of an instant ago.

But you were asleep after some time. You woke up to the sense of ticklishness spreading along your torso and face. This time, he was giving you tender kisses along your jaw, on your face and arms. "I-Isaac! Stop..haha..stop it p-please!" You were fully conscious by now. He stopped and looked at you with a teasing grin. "Today I'm taking a day off. So we can stay in bed as long as we want." You smiled at him but were laughing again until your stomach ached as he continued to tickle you with his hands and tender kisses.

[fukouiro]

i'm going to post my thoughts on the constructed language i used in my previous couple posts (link 1 and link 2).

however, i'm not going to explicitly name it since i think this post is overall going to be very critical and i don't think it makes much sense for it to show up in a search or tag search, especially since it's mostly just personal musings and not something i want other people to take especially seriously.

it's going to be annoying to not have a name to call the language, so i'm going to call it by its initials like T&P (which makes it sound like a business of some sort).

part 1: context on T&P

T&P is a very simple language, with a restrictive grammar and vocabulary of under 150 words. i think it does well on appearing simple. if it seemed too complicated, i probably wouldn't have bothered since i have other natural languages i already want to learn, and that's more important to me personally. i have a ton of fun learning Japanese, and i'd like to learn Vietnamese since i'm half Vietnamese and don't know any of it.

the core principle of T&P is that since the vocabulary is so limited, you must use multiple words to describe nearly all objects or actions, basically breaking down any concept into a descriptor of what you think its most important characteristics are.

for example, kili just means like fruit. if you want to be specific about the fruit, you have to try to describe it further. maybe a lemon is kili sike jelo. kili is the root word, and its modifiers are sike and jelo which mean "round" and "yellow", respectively. The modifiers stack, so the whole phrase reads ((kili sike) jelo), which I guess you could translate like "round fruit that is yellow".

anyways this brings me to

part 2: why i don't think this is very fun

i think this is a neat and challenging idea, but as it is maybe the only defining feature of the language, if you don't enjoy that then there's not much else for you. and as it turns out, i think i don't enjoy it that much, both in concept and in execution

for starters, the restrictive vocabulary means that there's a considerable amount of ambiguity baked into T&P from the get-go. even though you can break complex concepts down into several components, it can quickly become a mess to actually interpret the meaning of any phrase, let alone an entire sentence. for example, the word for "bad" can also means "evil" or "difficult".

another thing that compounds ambiguity is the way parts of speech work. any word can be a noun, adjective, verb, or adverb, which i think is actually cool. maybe a really basic inflection system would have been nice to differentiate root words from modifiers or something like that, though.

the part where this starts being a problem for me is that some words also play double duty as prepositions or pre-verbs (i guess you would call them). for example, tawa is a normal word that means "motion" or "go", but also a preposition that i think is identical to the english preposition "to". kepeken means "use" (noun and verb sense), and also means "using" or "by means of" as a preposition. kama (come) and awen (stay) can also be used in front of verbs to alter their meaning.

i don't think the pre-verbs are that big of a deal (though again, it might be nice if there was some marking of which is the root word and which is the modifier), but i think the words that are also used as prepositions are odd choices. especially since T&P already has a particle system, i think those prepositions should have just been made into particles, especially since they would probably become one syllable and generally improve understandability by being an unambiguous word.

i also think it's very tedious to constantly have to define concepts that seem pretty basic like "memory" or "a day", and very frustrating to find those definitions lacking because of the lack of vocabulary. to communicate with anyone else, it ends up being the case that set phrases become equivalent to certain words/concepts, so the vocabulary is functionally a lot larger.

part 3: why i don't think the grammar helps

to me, since T&P vocabulary is so small that it requires noun phrases all the time, i would like it if the grammar were flexible enough to make using those noun phrases easy. that's definitely not the case, though.

T&P has the pi particle to help you regroup modifiers in a word. for example, you can say waso pi kalama suli which is kinda like "bird of big noise" or "loud bird". a lot of words in toki pona don't have an antonym, even though pona and ike exist. so to say something like "weak person", you have to say "person who is not strong", negating only "weak". this leaves you with jan pi wawa ala.

one thing i find disappointing is that you can't use verb phrases with pi. for example, i could never use waso pi moku e jan, which would theoretically mean "bird that eats people", as a subject. it's not like i need to use this as a subject, since i can always chain together multiple sentences, but it is kind of annoying to have to talk like a baby. there are more practical examples of things that you would actually say using a verb phrase as a modifier, but oh well. if it was a feature that existed, i think it could help be more precise, counteracting the limited vocabulary. if this feature existed, it should probably use a different particle than pi to prevent ambiguity.

another limiting thing is that you can't use pi multiple times in a row. "memory" is often translated as sona pi tenpo pini which roughly means "knowledge of a time that has ended". however, if you ever want to describe something with that phrase (maybe to talk about something you remember), it's impossible since using pi like that wouldn't be allowed. again, it would probably require a different particle to prevent ambiguity, and it's not strictly necessary as you can use multiple sentences in a row, but if this language is gonna have me break things down all the time, i would like to have a lot of tools at my disposal to help break things down.

both of these would increase the complexity of the language grammatically, but i think it's worth it for the increased descriptive power. plus, the language itself is already somewhat complicated by the fact that modifier order matters since the vocabulary is so limited. i mean, i am just a silly person who really likes how in Japanese you can create like an entire sentence and use it as a modifier for one noun. i don't expect to be able to do something like that in T&P, but i wish the grammar was more flexible.

part 4: the writing system

i'm going to avoid naming the writing system directly for the same reason i'm not directly naming the language, so we're going to follow suit and call the writing system S&P.

(above: a selection of S&P characters that i think are pretty similar)

i don't think S&P (the writing system for T&P) is very well thought out. there are a lot of mirrored or rotated symbols, which i personally don't like the look of in a logographic writing system. i also think it makes it easier to confuse characters when they are identical besides mirroring or rotation. shoutouts to mi (me), sina (you), and ona (it/that/they) being the same character rotated, but not ni (this) for some reason. to me, there's also a style clash between symbols that are obviously pictographic and symbols that are more abstract.

(above: a selection of S&P characters that look like symbols or english letters)

a lot of the characters are also just… blah. a lot of grammatical words just look like punctuation marks which kind of makes sense but is just an uninspired choice to me. it kinda also just looks like you have a lot of closing parentheses and angle brackets without opening ones... there's also suli (big) and lili (small), which are the same character but written bigger or smaller, which is annoying (they couldn't even be flipped or something?). the characters for the words a, o, and n are literally just "á", "ó", and "ń" which is definitely a choice.

you're theoretically also supposed to be able to write modifiers above, below, or inside of the root character. aside from becoming unintuitive when there is more than one modifier word, a lot of symbols look exactly like other symbols but with extra detail, and other symbols simply aren't friendly to being combined, making this aspect of the writing system very weird.

another weird design decision is how transcriptions are handled. despite the fact that T&P only has three kinds of syllables (vowel only, consonant-vowel, or consonant-vowel with a final N sound), when transliterating non-T&P words using S&P, you're supposed to spell it out letter-by-letter (using symbols whose pronunciation starts with the desired letter), despite making the word conform to T&P's syllable structure in the first place! it seems that in the community, the more popular method of transliteration is to write a character followed by a middle dot to indicate that you are using the first syllable and not just the first letter.

just for the road, here are some characters that i like from S&P.

part 5: stuff that is more pet peeves than other things

i am biased as an english speaker, but i really don't like how much stuff just comes from english?

like obviously there's a lot of vocabulary that comes from english or a related etymology. personally i really don't like "lukin", but also, like...

okay, so to ask a yes/no question in T&P, one of the two ways you can do it is to just append anu seme ("or what?") to the end of a statement. which is just... okay, sure. that's a really weird and specific thing to take from english, isn't it? you have like a whole particle system and you can't just make up a question particle?

the other way to form a yes/no question is to do [word] ala [word] (kind of means like "[word] or not [word]?"). for example, sina sona ala sona e ona? ("do you know that?"). either way, i think it's pretty annoying that it takes at least three extra syllables to ask a yes/no question.

speaking of missing particles, i think the fact that kepeken takes three whole syllables is a mouthful for describing the concept of "by means of". of course, i just used three syllables there, but that was for maximum clarity in isolation. in english, you usually use "with" (like "i ate with a spoon") or "by" ("i traveled by bus") or "using". in japanese, it's the で particle. i really really think this should just be a one-syllable particle.

also the way "tawa" is also used as a preposition that is identical to the english preposiiton "to" is really... english-y. i guess it's different because its use is expanded somewhat compared to english since there are less words in general, but saying something and then appending tawa mi to mean "to me" not in the sense of "to the location i am at" is so... english-y! at least to me, i only know 2 languages so my feeling on that could be wrong.

at least you can also rephrase tawa mi and stuff like that using the context particle la, which can actually feel kind of like Japanese sometimes. mi la ni li pona would mean something like "to me, this is good". la is probably one of the things i like most about T&P.

i think the way that you can omit the li particle (used to mark the beginning of the predicate) if the subject is only mi (me) or sina (you) is... weird. i don't think it really causes a problem or anything, but it just feels weird? i think it should at least apply for ni (this) or ona (that, them, it) too. maybe even all one-word subjects?

pona lukin is the phrase used to mean "good-looking". i have never really understood why this is the case. i have an idea of why it could mean that, but i don't think the word order makes sense given the grammar of T&P and only makes sense because you can directly translate the individual words to english.

and the least substantive complaint i have is just that i don't think the words sound very nice? like kepeken is probably the worst example i can think off the top of my head, but i just think generally T&P words don't tend to have very nice-sounding syllables. part of which is because they don't allow any vowel sequences, so you can't use ai (which is a sound i really like) or ei (which is pretty okay). ao/au are also a fun sounds. not that you really need those sounds to make nice-sounding words, but i think they would be nice to have! also it would cut down on the syllable count of some words if they were used, which would be nice

part 6: *quack sound effect*

okay i'm out of complaints so i'm ending the post here. i just want to reiterate that i really don't think about T&P as harshly as this post might make it sound. i think it comes from a place of it being close to something i would find fun, but having a lot of disappointing aspects

[valdangelodumbasses]

Valdangelo Headcannons #1

Leo and Nico are both introverts but Nico loves affection

Leo made Nico tiramisu once and he swallowed it faster than Percy could ever

Leo couldn't look him in the eyes for a week or he got so flustered

Nico is lawyer bf 

and a demon at monopoly; him playing w/ Annie is the worst.

gamers! both like monster (specifically mango loco) but Nico also loves tropical redbull

Nico teaches Leo and hazel how to play so they can battle 2v2

Nico wipes the floor and Leo is just glad he understands half the rules

Nico and Leo wear heels. 

and they're good at it too.

Confident Nico>>>>>>  

Leo has a fucking heart attack when Nico pins him to a wall

Leo makes Nico laugh with his jokes and shitty pickup lines

but when Uses shitty pickup lines on him he steals them, after he stops looking like a tomato

Nico does Cosplay and they cosplay together and its so fucking rad

making out while baking/cooking? more likely than u think

Leo tells Nico he looks cute one day b4 they started dating and Nico is like: Is this friendly affection

Caffeine addicts rise up

but Nico hates coffee and honestly same

teas n energy drinks>>> 

Leo is a fucking swine who mixes all his foods and Nico nearly vomits bc he wont let his food even touch goddamit

Piper and Hazel being wingman while Percy and Jason are the matchmakers

p r a n k s

like so goddam many

they are unstoppable and they pin it on the Stolls

or Leo gets caught

Nico n e v e r does bc like? scary emo kid? prankster? nah, NAh,

he sticks his tongue out at leo anytime leo gets caught

bisexual leo or gay leo? leo doesn't even know!

all he knows is that nicos hot and has a cute butt & personality

nico is a theater gay

he sings every musical

his favorites are Heathers, Beetle juice, Legally blond, and the greatest showman

Leo has theater kid energy but probably works the tech stuff

he likes heathers, Chicago, legally blond, Grease, and dear evan Hansen the best

Hamilton is neither of their favorites yet they end up dueting it all the time

Art kid and Repair kid>>>>>>>>>>>>

Percy sees them kiss after dating (and kissing) for 6 months and wait yall are friends?

Hes slow but he means well, Nico sticks his tongue in leo's mouth after percy says that

he's like  “O H , sorry im dumb”

“jackpot” “Valdez shush”

they talk abt their moms

angsty emo boys listen to greenday

and every other emo band

Leo calls Nico mammacita once

never again (Nico started crying)

why? It was commonplace used by his uncles and grandpa

Nico demands leo call him that more though

Leo is Hesitant but obliges

mexican or italian food restaurant arguments

leo steals nicos breadsticks even tho he has some

nico steals leo's nachos when he has his own

they're petty? yes but petty and in love!

and gay/ did i mention g a y 

Demiboy leo rights

leos a fuckin lefty

Trans Nico rights mtf or ftm rights

nico may not be trans but he's also demiboy

demi boys calling each other they all day because nobody uses the they in he/they (speaking as a demigirl)

If nico IS trans tho hades 100% uses magic to transition Nico bc yes good dad

laughing abt trauma and they're friends are like: NO

memes

“get ur hands off my bf”

“kick their ass baby i got cho flower”

imagine, just imagine nico fussing over leos hair because curly is the cutest

leo fusses over nicos when he's in a slump and brushes his hair

skincare is vital to both

Leo does engineering n shit but does it for like 16 hours straight much to everyone's dismay, but Nico who has (arguably) fresh eyes and make sure his physics is right

Nico loves physics fight me

but nico sleeps like 4 times a week for 3 hours or 3 days a week for 12 hours

Insomnia gang don’t rise up go to fuckin sleep 

will keeps giving them melatonin and they always forget to take ti and will is going to fuckin murder them maybe then they'll sleep

u know that comic where they naruto kiss S P I D E R M A N  K I S S I E S

nico hangs like a bat and leo is a memelord

nico also loves spider man

they def try to make spider man gear but annie smashes the shit out of it

dorks! comic!

omg comic book shop au nico owns it

soulmate au where u loose shit n it goes to ur soulmate

nico has NO clue what the hell to do with all this nails n hammers n shit

Leo builds stuff out of nicos lost mytho dupes 

Leo doesnt know what to do with his underwear, or all the mcdonalds receipts and the crumpled up sketches and sketch books

anyway

aphrodite ships it as she SHOULD and hades n heppy do too

why did i cal hephaestus heppy ? idk maybe aphrodite calls him that

They both hate yoga with a passion

does nico have an obsession with spn or does he hate it sm that he watches it ?

its as ambiguous as leo's sexuality!

Leos like what if i'm straight

then nico walks in 

No he's definitely not straight

who even heard of greeks being straight smh

Nico in miniskirts, aline, or any skirt makes leo go brrrrrrr

he wears leggings or tights under them though

Nico also wears leggins to bed

or the fluffy pants he steals from leo so leo doesn't have any pants

“IM FEELINGS DEVIOUS AND LOOKING GLAMORUS-”

band band band band band band band band band  Nico can sing and leo plays drums

Nico and katie are friends and Nico has a green thumb so leo is surprised when nico has more houseplants than crowley (Good omens)

He has tons of hanging and not hanging terrariums

Leo tries not to set them on fire

After Leo and Nico start hanging out more Nico bribes Lou Ellen to make his plants fire proof

they are now

Nico knows how to fire a gun and he's good at it

Pirate Nico!! 

Leo and Hades get along well

So does Nico and heppy

the parents get along too but they diss heras bad mothering

Nico gets de aged and leo is ???? but he's so CUTE AND TINY

Leo babysits him for a week in the bunker and nobody even knows until Percy and Will goes in there looking for him

Nico and Clarisse sparing? Sweaty bf? Leo loves it and chris and leo are just staring and say “yes”

Nico has freckles and leo kisses each one

Leo has these really dark freckles spread across his body but they aren't as frequent as freckles?? y'all know what i mean? ne way nico kisses them

Leo uses Yall. 

It rubs off on nico

jason is a die hard anti y’all

they annoy the shit out of him

Cuddles

nico and leo having bakeoffs

Nico asking piper for advice but editing it so its not super obvious its leo

She figures it out and tells leo like any good bff

nico promptly leaves camp when leo busts in asking if he has a crush on him

hades laughs but understands

leo sulks back to piper and percy is there and Percy got no chill

so he goes down there

Hades ain't too happy w that but Nico just gets so embarrassed and goes back with him

Hephaestus and aphro watching this go down like a romcom

I'm getting tired so im going to stop here anyway stan valdangelo for clear skin