#anyways im not tagging this because they love coming after anyone who disagrees
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god fandom for real has such a problem with turning every character into a mary-sue or manic pixie dream girl or whatever and i'm convinced they think it's cause they're that character and they are the center of the universe and everyone is attacking them and everyone else is in the wrong because they are perfect uwu
and im not sorry to say this but no you are not wei wuxian you're actually probably more like one of the copy cats thinking he was a god and wanting to become the next big yllz in which case wwx would look at you and laugh and tell you to touch grass probably
#like i swear people just look for self inserts everywhere even when the character is not a good self insert skdjghfskj#like theres a difference between finding a character relatable and then taking everything that character has ever had done to them as#something personally because omg they are my baby uwu i know them better than anyone else cause they are ME and everyone needs to be nice t#ME even though i'm a dick to everyone else#like god it was bad enough in the ML fandom but i could ignore it because a good bunch of them were kids#but like the mdzs fandom is mostly adults... grow the hell up please#anyways im not tagging this because they love coming after anyone who disagrees#aNYWAYS#bushy rants#ugh#so annoying
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oh man assuming this is aimed at me: i didnt realize my stupid tag cloud was kim discourse now ;-; im so sorry!!! this is a very good post and very tasty, and ur right about how kim’s love of the RCM is a coping mechanism. as that one really good post abt kim and moralism said, it seems insane that kim being orphaned by the revolution didn’t radicalize him. but it did. to moralism. to centrism. to avoid revolution and the pain it brings. it comes from a place of pain and PTSD and childhood trauma - to maintain the status quo, because to kim, maintaining that system is better than the danger of something new. it is an understandable position, but its not a morally good or defensible one. to me, at least, it’s the central tragedy of his character, and of the RCM in general.
went on a bit of a ramble below the cut
everything i said assumes a) a fascist harry playthrough (not that the flaws arent visible in other political playthroughs, but its most obvious in that one) and b) a kim who only exists in martinase. him after is anyone's guess, and the realm of textual analysis and fan fiction - which was a lot of what i aimed my ire at. also, the events of martinase CLEARLY had a huge effect on kim - both the near-death experience and the politics at play. a kim at the start of the game would not look at harry’s firey graffiti with approval - but he does. not only is he capable of change, but he actively continues to do so throughout the course of the story! especially with the way he’s essentially chipped away at by harry over time to tolerate his goofy little side investigations. “fuck it, let’s have more cryptids.” you could also interpret that as kim respecting a superior officer, no matter how stupid, because he is a Cop and a Cop Must Support His Ranking Officer, but im gonna say its a little bit of column a and b. it seems unclear how much the double-yefretor actually affects harry’s rank vs kim, but the “pull rank” to make him dance with you in the church seems to point to that, but also that kim will use it to excuse things he wants to do anyway.
ultimately its less a criticism of kim himself and more of the fandom treatment of him. after all, kim isn’t real. he’s a beautiful work of character design, and i want people to engage with all of that. im all for a generous treatment of him and harry - what is fanfic if not wish fulfillment, especially in the context of fix-it fic and happy relationships - but ignoring the political parts of disco elysium aside from “haha funni commies” is missing the point so hard that it swerves directly into copaganda. if ur disco fanwork is just B99 set in the world of elysium...maybe rethink your plot. or dont! im not your mom! i love a fun romp in a fun world! but part of why i personally loved disco so much is specifically how it engages with politics, and its a massive part of the story and characters. ignoring that to make kim a perfect boyfriend is poor understanding of the text at best, and liberal copaganda at worst.
theres also a fair few other good points i missed but are beyond the scope of this tumblr post: how a 1:1 comparison to american police politics is both inaccurate and imperialist (as soviet citizens militias had EXTREMELY different cultural and legal roles compared to american hypermilitarized cops), the choice disco devs made specifically to make kim half-east asian (rooftop koreans, anyone?) and the many other fun ways the game intersects race class and ideology politics, both in regards to kim and not.
anyway stan kim kitsuragi we love interesting complex characters in this house. love thank funky little police officer. also disco elysium is an utterly lovely work of media that deserves a million rambling posts and papers of analysis, even and especially if they disagree with me. its a Good Work Of Art!!! analyze that bitch!!! love u all fuck da world
i’m hesitant to jump into the Kim Discourse but i disagree with statements that boil down his worldview/morality to “kim is a good cop first and foremost, no matter what”
there are so many examples of him doing shit in the game that directly compromises the reputation and aims of the RCM, and not just in a corrupt cop type of way (though there is some of that, obviously)
if kim only cared about being a good cop, why does he go along with harry’s unhinged side missions and whims at pretty much every chance he gets, putting aside the murder investigation? we know that he has “authority off the charts” and could make harry toe the line, but he almost never does. he has a stern affect, but it’s often just for show.
if kim only tolerates/likes harry because he is a detective of the RCM, why does kim clearly get joy from their adventures that have nothing to do with, and even sometimes interfere with, their police work? just because kim says that line to harry about how “an officer of the RCM shouldn’t be on the street” doesn’t mean he necessarily believes, even in the beginning of the game, that harry is only really valuable as a detective of the RCM. he may project that as a value he has adopted, but that doesn’t mean it’s truly how he feels.
kim uses his position in the RCM as a way to distance himself from things that are messy, like politics and emotions. it’s easier for him to say to harry “no RCM detective should be on the street” than “i care about you for some reason i can’t explain and don’t want to see you sleep in the dumpster.” because he’s a pathetic little man who can’t talk about his feelings
i’m not saying that kim isn’t misguided or that his admiration for the RCM isn’t misplaced. because he is, and it is. but making his seemingly unwavering devotion to the RCM the salient aspect of his character at the expense of other things just doesn’t make a lot of sense to me.
also arguing that kim could never grow or be radicalized is doing him a disservice, imo. knowing harry for a week makes kim confront the rigidity of his thinking about reality itself. is it really so strange that he could have the potential to reflect and reevaluate his worldview? the game didn’t make its characters so complex and human for them to remain rigid and unchanging.
#long post#this is pure and absolute BRAIN VOMIT and might be mildly incomprehensible#maybe ill go back in the morning and clean it up but i love to type words and talk about disco elysium so so sos ooooooooo much#anyway thank u op <3#and im so sorry for starting 'kim discourse' i swear to god that was never the intention#i love kim#he's great#but much like how i dislike people drawing him as an anime boy with a tiny nose and sharp chin#i like him with the beautiful huge french schnoz and wrinkles and all
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Watching the Rise of the Titans movie and I'll be documenting all of my thoughts/reactions here. [Spoiler Warning]
So instead of reblogging every new update, I'm just going to have this post up on my phone as I watch and type my reactions in a bullet list format.
Nari's human disguise is so cute. As someone who does have a cottagecore aesthetic, I want to cosplay her so bad
Are Skrael and/or Belroc non-binary coded? Regardless, I'm also obsessed and I want to fuck Skrael and be Belroc.
STEVE CARING ABOUT JIM BEING HURT YESSSS!!! My god his redemption has probably been one of the greatest there is because he doesn't just suddenly go from being a bully to a completely good person. You can see the gradual shift in learning better throughout the shows which is awesome.
IN NEW YOOOOOOORRRRRRRK!!!!!! CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE OFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!
The mugshot montage reminded me of season 1 of trollhunters when toby and Jim were arrested at the museum.
STRICKLER PUT A RING ON IT??? HE'S THE ONLY DILF IVE EVER ACTUALLY AGREED WAS HOT WYM I CAN'T HAVE HIM??? well I'm still really happy about his arc over the series probably one of my favorite character growths.
Eli my guy got his growth spurt!!! As an 18 year old who is still 5'0", I'm happy but envious for him
So I went into this movie without watching any trailers or promo, but I doubt anything could have prepared me for the existence of mpreg. In fact, I wasn't going to document my reactions until I saw that.
NAMURA!!!!!!!!! MY BELOVED!!!!!! I CAN STILL THIRST FOR YOU WITHOUT GUILT
The coach teacher just called the kids zoomers so I have to dock one point from my final rating just because of that. Unforgivable
Those husky animation models suck lmao
Oh fuck the titans got power ranger zords!!
God why did they include the mpreg??? This movie would have been perfect without it.... After that plot point being revisited only one time I'm already beyond done with it
Like it's bringing me back to the v*ltron days where they're was a suspiciously high amount of klance omegaverse and mpreg fics and art created and it physically hurts because Steve and Keith's voice actor is the same person meaning this is especially cursed to me since I was unfortunately in the v*ltron fandom and remember all of that
But like on another note, how old are these characters again??? I haven't checked any wikis because of spoilers but is Steve an adult??? I know aja might be technically a lot older than 18 because alien but is whatever age she is equivalent to an adult as far as emotionally and physically in Akaridion development??? IS THIS A TEEN (M)PREGNANCY IN A KIDS SHOW????
Like bruh I saw a singular post on here before going into the movie that was like "rott spoilers without context" and there was a pregnant belly but I was absolutely not expecting the actual context of it. I'll find the post after I finish and edit this post to tag the creator right here: @makoden
This entire post is just gonna be me ranting about mpreg huh
Anyway I love the whole roundtable allusion to the legends of king arthur (not the toa version but the one he's based off)
THERE'S 3 TO 5 BABIES????? I need to take a break bruh this is just too much
Alright I've taken a 30 minute break got some food and did some things i love (decompressed by tactile stimming with some owl plushies and watched some videos on my favorite owl, Garu. He lives in Japan with his owner and is a domesticated eagle owl who basically just acts like a sky cat. If anyone else needs some eye bleach, here is their YouTube channel)
Blinky and ARRRGHHH!!! saying their "if one of us doesn't make it" talk my god one of them is going to die I can see it and I will be utterly crushed. Jim can't lose another father figure and Toby can't lose his wingman again I will riot if this happens
On a similar but unrelated to the movie note, can we just talk about how toa started with Jim having 0 dads and (if strickler and blinky live to the end) will end with 2 dads? Like I just really feel happy for him that he has two dads who actually figured out how to put the past behind them to not have any infighting between them so that both of them are healthy father figures. Jim has already been through literal hell and back losing his actual humanity in the process so if he loses one of them, I'm going to be really pissed because at this point, this is just Jim torture porn. Y'all know how as SpongeBob SquarePants went on, the show just became Squidward torture porn? It's starting to feel that way for toa and I really hope they cut the shit by the ending
Jlaire is such a good ship but like I feel like it's too perfect they never disagree with each other
YESSSSSSS Someone finally doesn't treat toby like a fat waste of space who messes stuff up!!! I think out of all the characters that would have been most deserving of a rewrite, it's Toby. Sometimes I just feel he's only comic relief and any heartfelt moments he's had in the series was also born of stupidity (ie his flour baby project being unharmed was seen by him as divine intervention from his parents but was actually just Eli and Steve behind the scenes).
Ohhhhh yesssssss Archie's father!!! I was hoping I'd see him again because we got so little of him last
Ooooooooooh Asian trollmarket!!!!!
Oh never mind slavery trollmarket
Bruh titanic camelot
I feel like we're not seeing enough of the villains because I completely forgot about the power ranger zord things
NAMORA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY LAST CRUSHHHH
STRICKLER NO NOT YOU TOO PLEASE
WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THE ONLY TWO CHARACTERS I SIMP FOR ON THIS SHOW DIED WITHIN FIVE MINUTES OF EACH OTHER
THAT WHOLE ASS RANT I WROTE IS COMING TRUE FUCK THIS MOVIE THIS SERIES IS JUST JIM TORTURE PORN
WAIT JIM'S SPERM DONOR INFO?
Oh thank God I don't want to know anything about that person
For the record, I call that man Jim's sperm donor because he has no business being called a father to him. All he did was donate some swimmers to the creation of him and give him abandonment issues
Oh another blind troll elder???? This fucker is just if vendel was a bad guy
Bruh I was grieving
PACIFIC RIM WITH GUN ROBOT VEX AND THE BELROCZORD? I've never seen that movie but I know the reference
Bruh Blinky doesn't read horoscopes? Does he realize conspiracy theories are just the manly version of horoscopes?
NO DON'T KILL VEX STOP KO-ING FOUND FAMILY MEMBERS
Oh thank God he's okay
NO NOT ARCHIE AND CHARLEMAGNE OH MY GOD
oh never mind they're just gonna coup de tat I believe in them :))
But I want to see him again
But I'm glad to see vex
Yay they're in arcadia!
But yeah I wondered why the trolls and Merlin didn't keep the whole "daylight doesn't hurt trolls" feature from the eternal night but now Guillermo del Toro I see you were playing the long con in that just to kill my girl Namora :(((
Oooooh I love the animation of the Narizord over Chihuahua!! It looks very good and realistic (if only they could have put some of that into those huskies from before smh)
Bruh the character designs of the arcane order are so good I want to be them
Nari making sure the Skraelzord doesn't crush the bus
DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE
Bruh I'm just glad we finally have an answer on why arcadia had everything going on as opposed to literally anywhere else!! I always found that as a weird coincidence for plot convince.
BRUH WERE BACK TO THE MPREG IM SO JEALOUS I FORGOT ABOUT THAT EVEN THOUGH IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS GRIEVING THE LOSS OF MY LOVELIES.
Oh that's real convenient that the ninth configuration meant all of them. Way to not decide which character gets more attention. Though it probably was a smart way to not have any infighting in the fandom between each character's stan group.
Bruh I just realized where is Barbera did they just ditch her on the Camelot ship???
And where are the other trolls that migrated at the end of trollhunters s3? They said something about new jersey but obviously Jim and the other main characters got on Camelot instead.... This feels like a plot hole
And we never learned the process of how changelings are made and bonded to humans and stuff. We just know it's super painful but I'm curious ffs!!!!
THE DONT THINK BECOME HERO SPEECH ALL SAID TOGETHER!!!
BRUH THEY REALLY HAD TO SHOW HIM GIVING BIRTH??????? WAS THAT AN ABSOLUTE MUST??????
Plus the main audience for this series is little children (the rating for the movie is literally TV-Y7) so even though my adult ass is not in the target audience, I STILL DONT UNDERSTAND WHY WOULD MPREG AND ANAL BIRTH WOULD BE AN IMPORTANT THING TO 7 YEAR OLDS???? THIS IS A LITERAL FETISH HIDDEN IN KIDS CONTENT ITS ELSAGATE ALL OVER AGAIN Y'ALL 😭😭😭😭😭
Though it's probably hypocritical of me to think fetishes don't belong in kids tv when I've openly admitted to thirsting for strickler and namora
HUZZAH
NEW AMULET WAZ GOOD????
STAB THAT BITCH JIM
WAIT NO I SAID STAB NOT GET STABBED
Alright good job just missed the directions at first but you fixed it
SEVEN KIDS?????????
T O B Y ????????????
W A I T NO
N O
IS HE ACTUALLY
OH MY GOD THERE'S HOPE
NO THERE ISN'T
F U C K THIS SHIT THEY REALLY JUST HAD HIM TO BE BULLIED THEN KILLED
Y'ALL IM ACTUALLY CRYING THIS NEVER HAPPENS
I NEVER ACTUALLY GET SO EMOTIONAL OVER MEDIA THAT I CRY IT ONLY HAPPENED ONCE AT THE END OF VOLTRON BUT AHHHHHHHH
W A I T
HE'S GONNA BE BROUGHT BACK?????
HOLD UP THEY'RE JUST GONNA BRING ALL THOSE DEAD PEOPLE BACK??????
WAIT IS HE
BLINKY CALLED HIM A SON
HOLD ON IS THIS GOING TO BE A CLIFFHANGER???????????
BRUH THEY REALLY JUST CAN'T END THE SERIES WITHOUT CLIFFHANGERS like there's always an open ending
TROLLHUNTER TOBY????? You know what forget the whole rants I had on how toby was written they just redeemed it all
And that's all! I'd rate it a 6.5/10 because it's definitely the weakest of all the sequels but still had amazing animation and some good plot points. It's just really hard to look over the bad stuff enough to rate it any higher.
#tales of arcadia#rise of the titans#trollhunters#rott#rise of the titans spoilers#rott spoilers#toa#3 below#athena's own original post!#jim lake jr#claire nuñez#toby domzalski
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i want to be meaner to my mom but scared that i might make a habbit of it to the point of that spilling onto other people, so let's vent, near everytime i say something that challenges her belief that she's right about everything she always goes on about how i love debating her and how im always attacking her and saying she's wrong about everything, this bitch litterally fucking just told her child "you're always the villain to me" like i dont have a mountain of evidence saying that she's the one who's fucked up
look we disagree on things a lot, i disagree with her a lot, she seems to take everytime i point out she could be wrong (the first few times her response was "it's like your my mom mano po" ("mana po" is something people do to their elders) and "go work on your self first" in response to my room and my sleep schedule, like. y'know me sleeping late and being messy gives her yhe excuse to be a bad person.) now it's "you just love debating me don't you" "you always think im wrong about everything" and now recently "youre always the villain in my story" ("lagi kang kontrabida saking buhay")
because yeah sure im the villain, im the person who bullied ("idiot, lunatic, insane, you made yourself ugly, you look insane, you look like a lunatic") verbally abused (read the previous sentences, and what comes after this), hit (four times to be exact, also threathened to beat me up if i ever did that again, and later on said she was gonna smack me if i ever tried it again later on too) and told their kid they're insane and that tgey didn't care about anyone except themselves for botching their haircut
like this isn't my first time saying this within these last few days, it still holds true though, her words, the villain sentence specifically, should be directed at herself if anything, like girlie are you describing your own actions or
damn these last few days have been shit, like most days that have my parents in them aren't good, but these last few days have been horrendous, wonder if i should kill myself lol, atleast id have a botched haircut at the funeral, where a lot of the people whod know me would see, might botch it even more before doing it, just out of spite, it's just like id face the abuse that would com after anyways, i would be dead. also that whole haircut and these few days after said haircut have confirmed my theory that my parents treat me nicer when im pretty so! that's another thing! man!
like girlie really did just say her kid was the villain in her life despite being the one to hit her kid four times over a botched haircut, and verbally and physically abuse said kid for days afterwards (the verbal abuse was worse than what id written, basically just wrote a summary for the most part, just don't feel like translating it) i mean girlie really?
edit: also if you read the tags i almost forgot about that last bit, memory repression works hard ig. wonder how much shit i forgot that i never remembered.
also another edit: i think it's interesting how she used to so "oh so im the villain now" in response to me whenever i brought up her doing something bad, like that used to be a common occurance a few months near a year ago, but now she says "you're like a villain to me" after, reminding her she can be wrong, and botching my haircut. i mean. girlie at least isn't blatantly ripping off mother gothel now so that's fun.
#girlie litterally called her kid the villain despite being the one who bullied#(said idiot. lunatic#insane#you made yourself ugly you look insane#you look like a lunatic.)#verbally abused (read the previous sentences and what comes after this) hit#(four times to be exact#also threathened to beat me up if ever did that again and later on said she was gonna smack me if i ever tried it again later on too)#and told their kid they're insane andthat tgey didn't care about anyone except themselves for botching their haircut#girlie litterally called her kid the villain#it think it's interesting how fell back on using social media slang as a coping mechanism here because sm incites dophamine most times#anyways vent parents i mean wow really let's just fucking#go and jump off guess. i#am exhausted and quite frankly just want to sleep and never fucking wake up again an overdose might be nice idk.#me dying might be the only way to convince her that she's the one that's fucked actually.#or maybe she might fucking say im spoiled dramatic and overemotional in which case idc idc id be too dead too by then anyways#look explaining shit won't work ive already tried that and whenever get into fights with my parents#words and memories just fucking bail on me under enough stress#till i get my shit together hours later and able to pinpoint exactly why they're or in this case she's wrong fuck this#she also told me that ''since im so mature now to now have to rely on her anymore'' and said she wont attend or give me shit anymore#as part of said haircut thing#basically told me she wont be a parent to me anymore because of something that started from a botched haircut#but still doesn't think that actually She may be the villain here#vent#parents
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that's such a shame that the fandom ruined jaskier for you for a while! im glad you've found ways to write him that You enjoy because he is a really good character and i agree that the fandom has kind of... hm.. like you said the 'saviour complex' thing. which.. i think stems from people only knowing fanon jaskier and then reusing those traits as opposed to Canon jaskier/dandelion which imo is way better and more interesting to read. and like you said with the 'he can't have faults that aren't quirky', yes! because like.. dandelion is a flawed man, he gets geralt and himself into trouble and is a general nuisance but people tend to.. make him too soft and 'can do no wrong' and that bothers me!! AHH. anyway sorry for the rant but this is something that has bothered me since I started reading the books. anyway! i hope you continue to have fun writing him!!
The fandom does that if you let it guide your enjoyment too much. I left the space that was trying to restrict discussion and feel much better for it. It's so important to find a small group of people that you can write/create anything with. That you know separate actors and characters, and preference around fiction from you as a person.
Fandom isn't a cult. You shouldn't have to like/think/write a certain way to belong, and I would encourage anyone feeling insecure about their interpretations (particularly if they go against the trend) to tag me so I can cheer you on. Even if I disagree with it, I maintain that variety and transformative work is at the heart of fandom. There is no right way, only personal preference. I agree with you about Jaskier/Dandelion being far more interesting when he's a bit icky, but I've also written 'soft' versions at the beginning of lockdown when I needed it the most.
Since moving away from the Jaskier fandom (as a writer) and into the Witcher fandom at large, I've only grown as a writer and been much happier. I still very much adore many of the writers who write Jaskier and I think they're talented, kind, generous (Cake Shop, lookin' at you, beau, along with all the creators on my rapidly growing rec list) and cheer them on. Because they're kind and deserve it.
I've loved the Witcher since Game 1 came out, but I was brand new to fandom, so wanted to interact and wrote what I knew everyone wanted to see. I think a lot of us do that? We want to be friends, we want to geek out, and the easiest way to do that is to write the popular character and the popular ship. We judge our enjoyment by the kudos and the comments, rather than the process (do I love this character? Did I enjoy writing this story? Did my one fandom friend who loves me like this story and squeal with me?) I do this too. I'm getting better at not doing it.
As for changing your perspective after the books, I think this is perfectly normal and good. There are so many canons to choose from and it's great to dabble in all of them (while approaching them all with a critical eye). You can be a fan and still not like all of the thing. And it's super interesting to understand why people don't like things, because it's often rooted in their interpretation/life experience. It's like "woah, we read the same thing but we read it differently and let me in your mind so I can understand". Maybe I'm weird. Dunno.
Anyway, sorry for the long post, Anon. Always happy to chat about preference and interpretation. Enjoy the rest of the books and come scream at me when you get to Lady of the Lake!
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I saw Your Tags so would you expand on the Bellamy denied Story Line thing?
sure!
I think the biggest problem and something that people failed to see in season 7 because they were so focused on the OOC aspect (which I disagree strongly with) is that it’s not about Cadogan or the cult or what they believe in. Frankly, they could believe in shit catching light which kinda is what they believed in, and it would’ve been fine and it IS fine, what the problem is the way the story line and the characters threat Bellamy Blake.
And that is that everyone, absolutely everyone puts him up to high fucking standards that he is not required to fulfill and is not supposed to live up to.
Let’s just dig into it for a moment:
Bellamy chooses to believe Transcedence and that it will bring peace to his people.
I don’t see absolutely anything wrong with that. Frankly, it’s what they’ve been trying to achieve since season 1 (when they wanted to get to the see AWAY FROM WAR and live AT PEACE MIND YOU, anyone remember that????)
(P.S He ends up being absolutely right about the Transcendence thing anyway and that IS the end of the entire SL-it as a choice and the people who chose against it for whatever reason)
So he belives in it.
And he tries to follow it.
And what happens?
His best friend/romantic interest-Judges him
His sister-judges him
His gf/ex-gf-Judges him
ALL OF HIS FRIENDS WHO HE FOUGHT FOR AND KEPT ALIVE ON THE RING FOR FIVE YEARS MINUS EMORI HERE I WOULD SAY-JUDGE HIM
It’s not just that they condemn his choice.
It’s that they REFUSE to understand it. Absolutely refuse to understand it.
And here comes the thing-as much as they can not understand it, they should at least respect it.
THEY NEED TO ALLOW BELLAMY BLAKE to have a LIFE of his own A CHOICE of his own, something he has NEVER EVER EVER EVER had in his life.
EVER.
I mean it-EVER.
He didn’t have a choice when his mom put his sister in his arms at seven, he didn’t have a choice when he came to earth because it was the only choice because he had to protect her, he didn’t have a choice when Clarke left after Mount Weather and then we have a small interruption in season 3
where again
oh ain’t it interesting
that AGAIN he makes a choice of his own (wrong or right not the point here) to follow PIke and yes he makes a mistake but it is because he wants to protect the people he loves and stop the killings (SOUNDS FAMILIAR? HE WANTS PEACE IN SEASON 7 OH-WAIT?
OUT OF CHARACTER YOU SAID?
NO KAREN I FRANKLY DISAGREE WITH YA)
and then is judged for it again even though nobody else is judged at the same grade for the mistakes besides Clarke and even then she had him in her corner and it was good because he had her in his corner in season 3 but not in season 7 frankly
another surpirse mind you
so he makes a choice in season 3 and the narrative punishes him for it, rightfully or wrongfully so it’s on our minds and consciousness to decide. it is the beauty of the show i believe-to love or hate people who make wrong choices that all of the characters do multiple times.
and then he’s beaten up for it and half of his sl in season 3 is not explained, his choices are NOT explained, his decisions are NOT explained, his scenes are cut off and the rest of it is spend on all characters beating up Bellamy for 2 seasons.
And on and on-at the end of season 4 he makes the choice to leave Clarke to save them all-is it really a choice again? I don’t think so. As much as hers to destroy the mountain I believe.
And in season 6 his choice is to save the person that he loves and put everyone else in danger.
Mostly, he hasn’t had any choices. And if he had he was put in impossible situations like Clarke has which fine, as I said that’s the story.
But, throughout it all, he has NOT made a choice for HIMSELF, for his OWN benefit, a choice to LIVE for HIMSELF.
He hasn’t.
We as a fandom always wanted that or at least those of us bellamy stans who didn’t hate on bellamy and instead tried to understand him instead of calling it OOC. Because we knew, we knew it’s not him, it’s the way it was written.
The SL denies Bellamy Blake everything-his own life most of all.
And it denies him explanation and background for the choices he makes and the life he has in time jumps.
Starting with season 3 and the time jump-we never know the trauma he went to and the thoughts he had to process when Clarke was gone, the PTSD he surely suffered (that is shown in Clarke but not in him? somehow? as if he ain’t a person who can feel things but just a means to an end). And then it proceeds to the lack of explanation when it comes to joining Pike, even the massacre which I think should’ve been showed to show his remorse and refusal to kill all grounders and then it proceeds and is at its worse form in season 5
when we jump into a Head! prevailing more than heart!prevailing Bellamy and we don’t have the explanations for it or how the transitioned happened or what ever he went through for a small part of those 6 years.
he is DENIED that.
Story wise he is denied.
The worst is that he is JUDGED even though he is denied that.
By Clarke by his sister by the other characters and I hate most of all even Jordan saying in season 6-Heart Bellamy that was my favorite Bellamy.
Like shut the fuck up.
He’s not just heart or head Bellamy-he is Bellamy who learned to survive on that Ring the same way Clarke learned to survive in those 3 months after Mount Weather.
He is STILL Bellamy, no different, just a little more reserved, a little smarter, a little sad even, because he lost his best friend, someone we know now he loved and it changed him forever.
And the same thing happens in season 7 where yes we got the explanation as to HOW he got to believe this which I think is great still, and I think Aurora’s moment with him in the cave was MORE THAN NECESSARY and has been necessary for the past 7 years. But he is judged for what he chose to believe, he is judged for the life he chooses for himself
which is a life of peace.
and THAT is the problem. All the characters, they judge him, they hate him, they KILL him and then they say-oh but Bells was sad all this time so yk, I mean he died it makes sense.
SHUT UP.
He’s been sad all his life. He didn’t deserve to live his life for everyone else only for EVERYONE ELSE TO REFUSE TO LIVE THEIR LIVES A LITTLE FOR HIM.
THEY COULD’VE OFFERED LOVE.
IF NOT AT LEAST UNDERSTANDING
IF NOT-AT LEAST LEAVE HIM THE FUCK ALONE
and considering he ended up being right they sure af ended up betraying the one person who never ever condemned them like this, who always saw things from more than one perspective when it came to his friends choosing things for themselves, who yes might’ve been angry that clarke left but understood, who yes didn’t like the person his sister became, but still loved her when he should’ve been pissed off for years, who offered love and friendship and udnerstanding to clarke when all of the friends she ends up living the rest of her life with hated her mere weeks ago.
And that
once again im saying that
is the tragedy of living.
and a gd awful way of the writers crushing your face into the gravel of reality.
so no, it’s not about whether or not the SL makes sense, whether or not it’s a good or bad one-was ALIE that great? no, but we all took it, this could’ve been taken too, it is about what HE is DENIED as a character.
And it is also about us as a fandom and our blatant refusal to understand this and condemn him the way his friends, the other characters, do.
That is also another tragedy.
#bellamy blake#bellamy blake meta#the 100#the 100 meta#bellarke#answered#im sorry anon#i kinda went off#lol#Anonymous
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todoroki falling for someone/relationship hcs
request: may i request some headcanons of how shouto would fall in love and how would he act in a relationship?? 🥺🥺 thank u!!
warnings: just cursing! a/n: sorry for uploading this so many times! i messed up the tags (and also, hello! i promise we aren’t dead) long post! more under the cut
Shouto is a hopeless romantic at heart. Although it’s not something that crosses his mind frequently, whenever it does he finds himself daydreaming about the possibility of the perfect love interest as an escape from his mundane and repetitive life in which he feels trapped
Similar to Bakugou (Same prompt for him here!) I feel like Shouto would definitely fall in love with someone after learning how to trust them and interact with them rather than falling for someone after a couple meetings, he has to know you personally and on an emotionally vulnerable level before he would even consider the concept of something more; partly because of sheer embarrassment, the other from deeply routed trust issues
He would be best suited with someone spontaneous but respectful; someone who can break him free from the chains binding him to his career and future and expand his horizons and emotional capacity to levels nobody thought were ever possible. The way he acts around you is uncharacteristic of this terribly disturbed boy
Shouto realizing that he’s fallen in love with you will hit him hard and suddenly, knocking the air from his lungs and knocking him over onto his feet. Hopefully, you’ll be there to pick him up and make him see that maybe this won’t be such a frightening experience, and that you can help him along the way
He’s a very blunt yet dense person, which is shocking for someone of such quick wits and broad intelligence. Tease him about it and he will scowl at you, but give in and laugh as you both recount some of his most memorable moments. You paying attention to him, telling him your favorite times spent with him? It’s an intoxicating liquid drug that he wants to drink up and bathe himself in in a lavish fashion
Coming to terms with the fact that he’s in love with you, someone he’s so close with is by far what’s most difficult for him since he doesn’t know how to healthily process his own emotions, often times dismissing how he feels and letting it build up into an alcoholic cocktail of rage and self doubt
Without even realizing it, he’ll begin to cling to you. You’re practically attached at the hip, and he’s so subtle about it and kind that it will take an incredibly receptive sense of the world around you to notice that he’s putting an increased amount of effort into spending as much time as possible with you
Hell, kudos to anyone watching the two of you who will see what’s really happening. He’s a very unpredictable person, and everyone would simply assume you two were impersonal friends simply trying to be polite and help each other
Shouto isn’t really someone who ever writes, but like I said he is a hopeless romantic. One way he finds to cope with his new and foreign feelings is by writing sappy poetry inspired by or even for you. They’re actually not too bad, but there’s not a chance in hell that he would ever let you see them. Sometimes he’s so embarrassed to have done it that it’s incinerated on sight
I think Deku and him would be good, close friends, more so than what the series portrays. I like to think they’re besties and im putting that here because im selfish and love their dynamic. Anyways, Shouto would nervously approach Deku and ask for his thoughts on his poems, wondering if you would appreciate them or find him strange for writing about you in such a manner
After months of hiding away and suddenly growing distant, he would finally decide that if he gets rejected, it’s at least better than living out his dreams through fantasies in the solitude of his own imagination. He would come out and say that he loved you to your face, and then should you reciprocate become a shy and nervous mess who can’t help but shudder at the sudden fluttering in his stomach
Shouto actually really likes to go out on dates! He prefers to take a gentlemanly approach to your outings, and growing up frequently attending formal settings is more than comfortable with going out to whatever high end event your heart may desire
Date nights are just for the two of you, and provide for him confirmation that you’re his and nobody else’s; he’s the only one who gets to take you out and spoil you, the only one you will get ready for and the only one who will be there still at the end of the night to hold you tight
Not only that, but you have the opportunity to truly catch up and cast any other responsibilities to the side for a while. All that matters right now is the undeniable bond between the two of you, even if it’s only for a while. No matter how far apart you are, it can’t be broken by any amount of distance
Literally tell him to stop bringing you flowers; because of his mother, he’s always been particularly fond of them and their meaning, spending far too much time researching the symbolic truth behind every petal, and giving them to you for no special reason at all… far too frequently. This man is literally smothering you in carefully planned, sweet gestures
Please be patient with him. Afraid of losing you, he would actively try to change himself for the better so that he can become the person that he needs from you, since it’s only fair. He’s insecure about his seemingly cold demeanor, and worries that you may leave him for someone who isn’t afraid to reach out when they’re needing help, someone who isn’t broken and can take care of themselves without relying on you
This only feeds into his jealousy. Depending on the situation, he would most likely react one of two ways. If someone is hitting on you out of the blue, being rude and obnoxious, he would (again) be similar to Bakugou in that he’s immediately provoked and won’t hesitate to throw punches without a single bit of remorse. If you have a relationship with someone he doesn’t like or feels threatened by, then he will try to ignore it despite the way it nags him day and night, spending his free hours sulking over it; yet not bothering to speak out, afraid he will take things too far and accuse you or someone else of things that aren’t there
Help teach him that there are levels of conversation, let him know it’s okay to argue and disagree sometimes. When commiting to a serious relationship with Shouto, it will undoubtedly benefit you to show him how to have a healthy discussion from opposing perspectives without becoming heated. He doesn’t want to be the way that he is… he knows no other ways, though
Once he gets over the initial shock of being with you, he really doesn’t mind PDA. He’s not confident, but sure as hell not an ashamed person, either. He doesn’t mind to hold your hand in public or give you a chaste kiss on your forehead, perhaps even letting you rest your head on his shoulder
He would obviously wait a little before considering that you meet his family, that being a serious commitment. Him doing this definitely symbolizes his intense dedication to you and desire to stay with you for a long while. It’s a big step for him given their relationships, so stick it through with him and offer him support
He’s definitely spoken about you to his siblings and mother, though. Further into your relationship he won’t hesitate to openly gush about you and the ways you make him feel things he never has before, and how he didn’t know feelings this intense were possible when it came to others; it’s unlike anything he ever expected, feeling as if his life is better than any artistic interpretation of romance
I’m only gonna say this once so listen up. He is a Todoroki. He likes to feel as if he’s in control and protecting you, so one of his favorite things is to totally cage you with his body, so that the only thing keeping you shielded from the outside world is him and his loving embrace. Would absolutely randomly pick you up just to watch you squeal and jokingly try to push him away from you all while giggling as your face flushes pink
As for showing you off, he doesn’t really see that it’s necessary. What can I say, he’s a centered and simple guy. He’s hella proud, but it’s not important to him that everyone knows just how lucky he is. He doesn’t need an ego boost, not when he’s got you to cherish. All that matters is at the end of the day he’s got you to himself
A great listener! Not because he doesn’t talk, he’s actually very engaged in your conversations. Shouto just genuinely appreciates all that you have to say and wants to know every detail you have to spare, often times wondering what the world is like from your perspective
Not too fond of pet names at first, but if you insist on it and start making cute nicknames for him he’ll cave in and do the same for you, eventually sometimes stuttering when he uses your real name because it’s become so foreign to him. Always bringing you up in conversations as ‘pumpkin’ or something personal to you, and then feeling the heat rush to his face when he realizes it
Shouto is the type to want to move in together very soon; mans is committed for the long haul. Just for fun, would draw out floor plans with you and discuss the features your future home would have, with every intention of making every detail you offhandedly mention a reality
He loves it when you kiss his scar I don’t make the rules that’s just how it is. He wants nothing more than to be smothered by you in love and affection, and your gentle pecks among his sensitive feature that represent so much horridness in his life are something that he lives for
Oh. He’s really good at giving massages.
»»————- ♡ ————-«« Like these hcs? Find the same prompt for:
hawks.
bakugou.
aizawa.
kirishima.
#todoroki hcs#todoroki headcanons#shouto todoroki x you#todoroki x y/n#todoroki x reader#mod josie#hc#hcs#headcanons#todoroki
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Why tumblr user donottearmedown/luciequeenofelfame/luciehvrondaie is an embarrassment: a Masterpost
Hi if you’re here it’s because you’ve heard that tumblr user donottearmedown is an embarrassment and you’d like to know all the details! Let me break it down. It all started with this post by @minacarstairs (Tessa (yes @minacarstairs’s name is Tessa sorry if that makes this post confusing)), in which donottearmedown originally reached out to Tessa by sending her something along the lines of “Do you ship heronstairs/herongraystairs?” And Tessa replied with something along the lines of “Yeah lmao herongraystairs rights!”
(I wanna note that Tessa was being very polite, and continues to be very polite to people who disagree with her opinions on heronstairs/herongraystairs. She even began her original conversation with dont tear me down by saying it’s a matter of personal interpretation :) it’s donottearmedown who made the conversation mean-spirited)
(Also Tessa pls correct next if I’m wrong on any of this thnx)
And then sometime later, the conversation above ensues in which donottearmedown, seemingly perfectly reasonable at first, disagrees with the ship and offers a link to look at. (She throws this link around any chance she gets. She really fucking loves this link.) I got involved because in her answer, Tessa replies back with a link from a post I made from my own blog starting back in 2018, and then continued to add to it until my account got terminated (long story). You can read through both posts and check out all the replies! But basically we realized during this interaction that donottearmedown wasn’t looking to have a friendly conversation and was, in fact, batshit crazy. They were saying some absolute brain dead shit like that people shipping heronstairs is the same as people shipping Alec x Clary. Here’s the screenshot:
donottearmedown came back the next day to reply on several of Tessa and mine’s post which she wasn’t even tagged in, such as this one, and this one that had absolutely nothing to do with her because I make that same post every year. Here’s a screenshot from my old account last year via Instagram:
(there are more posts she replied to but I can’t be bothered to look for them, I’m sure you can find them on their blog if you can spare the braincells)
Racism by donottearmedown:
So, Tessa received this anon which tipped us off to some of the other tomfoolery on donottearmedown’s blog. We decided to look for ourselves and lo and behold, here’s the post of donottearmedown accusing Cassandra Clare of having a “Chinese kink” for writing Jessa:
Which, first of all, makes no sense because there’s like 2 Chinese characters in TSC total. If anything CC has a straight white boy kink lmao. But by saying this she was basically implying that the ONLY way Tessa (book!Tessa), or anybody who loves Jem, can love him is if they have a “Chinese kink”. Which donottearmedown can’t seem to be able to understand is an incredibly racist thing to say and think.
They also reblogged this BLM link and proceeded to tag it with absolute nonsense like “#smoke weed #lose weight #wessa”. I don’t know if her intentions were to mock the BLM movement but I still found this to be so incredibly disrespectful and tone deaf.
I also feel like I should mention this ask sent to Tessa in which donottearmedown implies she ~could be~ Asian, but it’s “none of her business anyways” (as if being Asian would absolve anyone of being racist akjsksjsj), but based on the fact that she has a track record of lying and pretending to be a person she’s not (as you will soon see :)) I call bullshit lmao:
I think that was the last of our interactions until today? Tessa and I were distracted because we have, you know, real lives.
But anyway, that brings us to today.
donottearmedown started replying to posts from mine and Tessa’s blogs which she wasn’t tagged in, again, and made several days ago. This one literally wasn’t even about her, it was about someone else that had engaged with one of Tessa’s posts. I made that post over a week ago and had already forgotten about it, but clearly donottearmedown never stops thinking about us 😳
NOW I WOULD LIKE TO POINT OUT THIS POST SPECIFICALLY.
Why? Because donottearmedown and luciequeenofelfame (now luciehervndaie) interacted on this post, as 2 seperate entities. luciequeenofelfame had also interacted with Tessa and I’s original posts at the beginning of June (you can check the replies on the posts!) coming to donottearmedown’s defense, and praising her for her opinions and other shit like that.
Here’s the screenshot. As you can see here, luciehervndaie reblogs from donottearmedown and adds on to their opinion:
Now here’s the kicker: donottearmedown and luciehervndaie are the same person.
As in, this bitch literally made up a second blog so that she can pretend to be someone else agreeing with her own opinions and cheering herself on.
Here’s the proof:
I made this post calling out donottearmedown on their racism. I didn’t bother tagging her in the original post because I knew she was stalking my blog and would see it eventually anyway. 😌 And they took the bait, as you can see.
AND THEN I got the notification that luciequeenofelfame had replied to my post. Here’s the reply:
Now here’s where donottearmedown/luciequeenofelfame made an oopsie! 😳
Notice where luciequeenofelfame says “1. I didn’t delete it lmao”. She’s responding to my tags on this post where I’m calling out donottearmedown on her racist post, and my tags read:
“#the fact you went and deleted this post because you KNEW you were about to get slammed #comedy”
(context: @wilhelminacarstairs looked on donottearmedown’s blog recently looking for the post I screenshotted in the link above, and he couldn’t find it so I assumed she deleted it so that I wouldn’t call her out on it. Although she claims she didn’t delete it, so! Maybe it’s still up! Feel free to look for it and let me know lmao)
Now, in the tags I am obviously talking to donottearmedown, correct? So then why is luciequeenofelfame replying that she didn’t delete anything? 🤔 AND JUST AS IM ABOUT TO REPLY-
Wow, looks like I can’t reblog the post. Why? Because luciequeenofelfame has deleted it, and then IMMEDITALY changed her url to luciehvrondaie, hoping it would cover her tracks. Little does she know, tumblr notifications are forever:
As you can see, donottearmedown/luciequeenofelfame/luciehervndaie realized they made an oopsie, so she deleted her first response and posted it again from the blog she actually MEANT to post it from. Damn if only she knew that @minacarstairs @wilhelminacarstairs and I keep screenshots of e v e r y t h i n g :/ Then she might have gotten away with it! 😩
But yeah lmao here are the posts I made about it immeditaly afterwards calling her out on it because I thought it was funny: X X X X
She defends herself on some of them saying shit like “wow so I’m just making up blogs for support wessa? The majority of the fandom supports Wessa so I’m all of those blogs according to you? I’m thousands of people?!” Or just trying to change the topic back to heronstairs and ignoring the allegations altogether. Like, no luv we’re not saying you’re every single Wessa blog ever. We’re just saying you’re these 2, and we’re right lmao. If you look through both their blogs they also post about the same fandoms, and more damning, make a lot of the same spelling errors. Seriously their speech pattern is exactly the same. Feel free to look through them if you want, and if they don’t start mass-deleting post trying to cover their tracks.
BONUS:
I don’t know how true this is, but according to @fair-but-wilde-child on this ask, donottearmedown is ALSO the infamous twitter stan that complained to CC about TLH having too many gay characters.
EXTRA BONUS:
luciequeenofelfame/luciehvrondaie (donottearmedown’s second account 😌) is the account responsible for that wessa vs jessa comparison chart that went around a while ago LMAOOOOOOOO embarrassing
tl;dr: donottearmedown/luciequeenofelfame/luciehvrondaie is a biphobic racist who’s opinions are so bad she has to make a second account to agree with herself
🥺 tragic
Also I wanna say for the record, as @minacarstairs ans @wilhelminacarstairs will testify, I guessed a while ago these accounts were the same person when I noticed their speech patterns were eerily similar, and how luciequeenofelfame always seemed to reply to donottearmedown’s posts IMMEDITATELY after they were posted. 
So the lesson for today? Cinthia is always right. 😤
#WHEW this took a while but here u go#feel free to scroll back through my blog and see the posts#also ive tagged almost everything from these interactions with her url#donottearmedown#replies#bidrewtanaka#long post
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Can we get more of the Nursing Home AU please?
Part 1, Part 2
Virgil doesn’t always stay the newguy.
There’s a new new guy on theblock.
“You can call me Dee,” the man sayswhen Virgil meets the new physical therapist.
There are tattoos covering the lefthalf of his face, green scales running from his jaw to his hairline.
He’s also got heterochromia, theleft eye a glacial-blue and the right brown.
And he’s wearing a bowler hat andyellow gloves. Not as part of his uniform attire, but like as a life choice.
Virgil had never met an animebad-guy character in real life.
Virgil gives him a guarded waveinstead of shaking the hand he offers.
Dee retracts the hand after amoment, not showing the slightest bit of offense.
“Isn’t this great?” Patton saysfrom beside them, having brought them together to be introduced. “Meeting newpeople is fun!”
Virgil stares at him like he’sgrown another head.
How long had it taken Patton towarm up to Virgil?
Weeks? A couple months?
And now he was immediately chummywith this new guy who threw up more red flags than Virgil’s little prison stintever could?
Virgil gives the universe hismiddle finger.
The truth is Patton had beenalarmed when he first saw Dee.
But Dee is the smoothesttalker, able to charm anyone who gives him a fraction of a second.
“Society can be rather condemnatoryof those who dare to embrace individuality, don’t you think?” he had askedPatton upon first meeting.
“Oh yeah, absolutely,” Pattonnodded along, completely enamored.
After all, Patton had judged Virgilright off the bat without getting to know him, hadn’t he?
He didn’t want to make the samemistake twice.
“He seems nifty, yeah?” Patton asksVirgil for his opinion.
Virgil shrugs noncommittally. “Iguess.”
He inwardly grumbles to himselfthat the tattoos are actually really cool.
It’s so not fair. Who does this guythink he is? All that trying so hard to stand out will surely come to bite himin the end.
Virgil feels a little validatedwhen it does bite him.
Or rather Remus bites him.
“There’s a snake in our midst!”Remus hollers in faux-concern before cackling.
“You bit me! You actuallybit me!” Dee growls.
“That’ll be twenty bucks!” Remusholds his hand out expectantly.
Virgil has never been more proud ofthe crazy old coot than in this moment.
Logan tells Virgil his thoughts onthe new physical therapist later.
“He’s clearly well-read, cunning,and charming.”
“Sooo, you like him then?”
“I never said that. If nothingelse, I would not be opposed to challenging him to a game of chess. Which wouldsubsequently end in soul-crushing defeat for him, of course.”
“Logan buddy, have I ever told youhow much I appreciate you?”
Okay, so Logan might admittedly bea little salty that his ex-husband is enamored with the new physical therapist.
Roman is hit with Dee’s charm and‘cool’ aesthetic, and he can’t get over it.
“He looks like a Disney villain!”Roman raves.
Virgil silently agrees.
“And he’s just so smooth. Hepulls the look off so well, and he’s so smart! Why, if I was thirty yearsyounger . . .”
Virgil does not agree with this. Infact, Virgil very much disagrees with this and would like to stop talking aboutthis now.
Suffice it to say, there’s a lot ofhits and misses amongst the staff and old folk when it comes to the newphysical therapist. Lots of them fall for his charms. Others say he’s tryingtoo hard or the more religious elderly scoff in disdain at his looks and say,“He needs to go to church.”
As time goes by, Virgil finds outthat Dee is none of these things.
Okay, yeah, Dee is kinda trying toohard.
But more than anything, Dee’s justa huge dork.
Virgil catches him one day practicinglines in a mirror while he thinks no one else is around.
“Why yes, Patton. My hat really isname brand,” he says to his reflection in a silky tone. He frowns, adjustshis posture and tries again with a slightly different tone.
Virgil backs out of the room beforehe can be seen.
He walks away quickly, wonderingwhat he just witnessed.
Virgil never brings it up toanyone. He doesn’t know how to put what he saw into words anyway.
On a later day, Virgil is chillingin the break room getting his mac and cheese on.
Breaking news, the universe still hatesVirgil because Dee walks in to take his break as well.
Virgil pointedly ignores him.
Dee pointedly grabs his food fromthe fridge and sits down right in front of Virgil.
There are other seats in the room.
“Love the new eyeshadow, Virgil.Totally doesn’t make you look like you haven’t slept in a week.”
“This . . . is literally the sameeyeshadow I wear every day.”
“Really? Guess I’ve never noticed.”
Virgil grips his plastic forktighter and imagines Patton appearing beside him to say, “Stabbing people inthe eye is wrong, Virgil. Even if they are rude meanie butts.”
Instead, Virgil stabs viciouslyinto his bowl of cheesy noodles.
“Cool gloves, Dee,” he‘compliments’ back. “Where’d you get them? Your grandmother’s kitchen?”
Dee eyes his gloves. “. . . yesss.”
It’s not so much of a conversationas it is a series of thinly-veiled insults.
They end their break with no realwinner.
“I so enjoyed our lunch together,”Dee says afterwards. “We should definitely do this again sometime.”
Virgil still can’t tell whetherhe’s being serious or sarcastic.
So he points a finger at him.
“You’re on,” Virgil declares. Hewalks down the hall backwards, pointing between his eyes and Dee in theuniversal gesture to show he’s got his eye on him.
Whenever Virgil doesn’t spend hisbreaks with Patton, Dee appears.
They verbally spar each time.
It becomes a thing.
And Virgil’s . . . kinda havingfun, to be honest.
He still doesn’t trust that snakeface though!
They don’t always trade barbsthough. Sometimes they just sit in silence, too tired to do anything but eat andstare at their phones.
Virgil looks up one day and seeswhat Dee’s looking at.
“Is that Steven Universe?” Virgilasks.
Dee slams down his phone hardenough to shake the table. He’s sitting ramrod straight in his seat, wide-eyedgaze pointed at Virgil.
Virgil stares back with equallywide eyes. “Dude, I think you just cracked your phone.”
“Totally didn’t crack anything,”Dee says completely unconvincingly.
He gives in and sneaks a peak athis phone screen. Virgil can’t see it from where he sits, but he can see theway Dee winces.
“Just the screen protector, I’msure . . .”
“Uh . . . you should probablycheck?”
“Marvelous idea,” Dee agrees andproceeds to sit there staring down at his phone.
“Okaaay.” Virgil decides to duckout. He tosses his trash away and sweeps out the room.
For some unfathomable reason, helingers outside the door, just out of sight.
He peeks in after a minute.
Yes Dee is still sitting therelooking sadly at his phone.
“My phone . . .” Dee murmurs sadlyto himself.
Okay, that’s just low, universe.You can’t make the smarmy charmy dickbag look all sad and junk.
Alright, so Dee isn’t that muchof a dickbag as Virgil originally thought.
Still doesn’t help that Virgil haslike zero comforting skills. He hurries away to find Patton in hisoffice.
“Uh, you should like, dip into yourcookie stash and give Dee one or something,” Virgil suggests.
“What do you mean?” Patton asks, startledat Virgil’s abrupt appearance and even more random request.
“He’s in the breakroom and he’s sad.”
Patton rises up from his seat witha purpose and a bag of cookies suddenly in hand. “Say no more.”
_______________________________________________________________
General Tag List: @spectralheartt @a-pastel-pan @notalwaysthevillian @rose-gold-roman @ijustrealizedhowdumbmynamewas @katie-the-noble-fangirl @yourroyalydramaticanxiousness @aroundofapplesauce @merlybird500 @beach-fan @jemthebookworm @whats-going-on-kiddos @randomsandersides @gamerfreddie @unring-this-bell @analogicallythinking @lilygold23 @levy-the-b00kw0rm @tacochippy @accio-hufflepuff-power1 @just-another-rainbowblog @georganabanana @grey-says-heck @crookedlyoptimisticdestiny @thesynysterunknown @idont-know-what-im-doing @idioticsky @fadingglowcloud @whizzie72 @theinvisiblespoon @greyyy523 @opaque-puppet @just-fic-me-up @wowimsogoddamnoriginal @sos-fandoms @loganeatsbooks @trust-is-overrated @theitalianalchemist @im-crunchie @mourning--star @4amanxiety @hogwarts-my-love @enby-phoenix @justanotherpurplebutterfly @internet-or-sleep @absolutesandersidestrash @seaspider10 @nonasficcollection @satanblessi @an-absolute-failure @analogical-mess @noisyeggpizzapatrol @hamilsandersfam @cefinitely-rolo @thgjclw @knight-shives @no-no-no-no-6 @savingshae @rabbitsartcorner @buddypallady @midnight-tragedyy @007ardra @fandomloverangel @dorkoverse @moodytrash06 @mirrorz-n-starz @idunnosong @lcrnbw @ollyollyoxinfree @cuter-on-the-inside
Nursing Home List: @thirteenashmctrash @figurative-falsehood @oddball-wqri @comicsimpson @hit-or-mish
#sanders sides#virgil#virgil sanders#deceit#deceit sanders#remus#remus sanders#patton#patton sanders#logan#logan sanders#nursing home au#writing#fanfiction#Anonymous
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otp tag.
tagged by @masonsfreckles and @impossible-rat-babies and like definitely also someone else but my activity is super clogged up so i cant find who I’m Sorry 🥺 but thank u remus and owen mwah tagging: @denerims @arlathen @lvllns @trvelyans @lavellane @chuckhansen @rosebarsoap @cheydinhaal @darksprawn @deepspeech @yennefre and anyone else who wants to do it tbh
DISAGREEMENTS.
who is more likely to raise their voice?
i mean both, probably? they’re both very passionate people
who threatens to leave but never actually does?
i’ll hesitantly say june but i dont think they’d reach that point
who actually keeps their word and leaves?
neither lmao
who trashes the house?
in day-to-day life, june; she’s very messy. in fights? neither bcos that’s messed up. the Most that’ll happen is adam cracking a piece of furniture in his fist by accident
do either of them get physical?
uhhh they’ll spar from time to time, but outside of that, never
how often do they argue/disagree?
in the beginning?? all the fucking time. every day. they butt heads like they were made to do it. further in, they argue much less, especially once june’s proved adam’s whole “humans are weak!!!” thing wrong
who is the first to apologize?
adam gets bullied into it by nate sometimes. june won’t apologise unless she’s absolutely certain she’s in the wrong, but it does happen. so i guess it depends on the argument
SEX.
who is on top? who is on bottom?
i hate applying the top/bottom thing to m/f ships but adam’s A Top i guess. june is 100% a bottom. but when it comes to actual positioning they’ll change; adam likes missionary a lot, but june likes sitting in his lap and riding him, so
any kinks?
adam is lowkey lowkey very lowkey into orgasm control/denial im calling it. he just likes taking control, but not in an explicit bdsm sense??? june’s into dirty talk and does have a praise kink. she has to coax adam into talking in the beginning but when he gets into the swing of things he loves it
june used to be into getting tied up, but the whole murphy situation kinda fucked that for her
who has the strangest desires?
june probably wins this just purely based on the fact that she wants adam to bite her lmao. he would find that strange. but he would also be into it so
who’s dominant in bed?
adam !!! again not in the traditional like bdsm dominant sense but he takes charge of things
is head ever in the equation?
uhhh, yeah ??? all the time
if so, who is better at performing it?
look. june is very good. she is. but adam has 900 years on her and also more enthusiasm / touch starvation / desperation. adam is a pussy eating KING
ever had sex in public?
the most public they’ve gotten is fucking in the tech lab at the warehouse, that’s it
who moans the most?
both moan, but june’s louder. she’s freer ??? with it ??? but adam grunts and gasps and pants a lot, and when he’s abt to come he’ll groan out her name or a french curse so
who leaves the most marks?
june’s the one that goes out of her way to make marks, just bcos shes a lil sad they fade so quickly. adam leaves the most just bcos june doesn’t heal in the same way
who is the more experienced of the two?
adam might be 900 years old but we all know he’s not had many relationships. june’s more experienced bcos she has one-night stands in college before her and bobby got together
do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’?
im so sorry but if u look at adam du mortain and think that he doesn’t make love 99% of the time, ur wrong. but sometimes they do get super passionate / desperate for each other, and then they’ll fuck
how long do they usually last?
in the beginning adam lasts like 2 seconds, no joke. that man sees even a hint of june’s coochie and he busts a nut. but further in he can last longer. unless june is being a shit and deliberately trying to get him to come, which she does do
rough or soft?
soft for the most part. if it ever is rough it’s like..... more bcos it’s intense, passionate, less bcos either of them is trying to make it rough. june has some sexual trauma too so really rough sex, like w choking for example, is out of the question (not that i think adam is into choking anyway)
is protection used?
it should be, and when they remember to they do use it. but also they forget a lot shdkshdkd does june look like the type of person to get pregnant on purpose??
does it ever get boring?
nah they keep it fresh. plus they love each other so much it’s just always so good to have each other ???? like after So Long Pining it’s just good idk bro shdjsjdk
where is the strangest place they’d have sex?
idk probably the tech lab like i said above ??? i dont think they fuck in many weird places — not bcos i dont think june would be into it, but more bcos i figure if they ever start getting freaky adam gets them into a bed / somewhere private STAT
FAMILY.
do they plan on having children / do they have children?
yeah they vaguely want them in the future i guess. adam thinks abt june having his baby and has to lie down he 🥺 so hard
if so, how many children do they want/have?
their first kid — emma — is an accident born like a year after they get married, and then oliver comes along a year after that because june always said she didn’t want only one kid. she remembered how lonely she was as a kid :(((
AFFECTION.
who likes to cuddle?
both of them !!! adam is touch-starved and june is starved for affection !!! they cuddle all the time
who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places?
june 100% no question. WHORE. adam is so done with her but he does always drag her off somewhere to Ravish her so rly who’s winning here
who struggles to keep their hands to themself?
shdkshdkskd both of them. june slightly more so tho
how long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable?
uhhh i dont think it’s rly a matter of one getting uncomfortable, bcos they do love it. probably it’s just as long as they can hold out before 1) june has to pee, or 2) adam resolves to be productive
what is their favourite non-sexual activity?
adam would never admit it but he loves watching movies with june purely bcos she gets so cuddly and ALSO she gets so into them. she’s the type of person to yell at the screen and ask questions all the time. sometimes they’ll compete to see who can work out the plot / twist / mystery of a film first
where is their favourite place to cuddle?
in bed !!!!! adam loves having her whole body pressed up against him, all small and soft and smelling like june, and june loves how he tucks her into his chest and makes her feel so safe and warm
SLEEPING.
who snores?
ahskhkdja june !!!
if both do, who snores the loudest?
adam doesn’t snore so june. but she doesn’t do it that loudly
do they share a bed or sleep separately?
they share a bed !!!! it’s adam’s way of making sure june does actually go to bed, for one, but also he doesn’t like to sleep without her
if they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart?
cozy up together !!!!! adam’ll kiss her hair and tuck her head under his chin, and june’ll wrap her arms around his torso and kiss the hollow of his throat
what do they wear to bed?
june wears raggedy old band tees or oversized hoodies, boxer shorts, lots of comfy clothes. flannel pyjama trousers. sometimes she’ll sleep in adam’s shirts bcos they smell like him and she likes that, but when she does sleep in adam’s shirts they uhhh haha dont sleep for a while ;)))
are either of them insomniacs?
june is !!! i think around book 4, maybe 5, someone’s gonna talk her into seeing someone abt it — because she really doesn’t sleep a healthy amount, i’m talking 5-8 hours a week — and she’ll start taking sleeping pills, but for now she just drinks a fuckload of coffee and keeps herself busy.
adam’s not rly an insomniac per se, but he doesn’t sleep as much as humans do, obviously
can sleeping pills be found by the bedside?
later in the series, yeah. i could see her being put on quetiapine bcos that’s what im on and that shit works
do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side?
wrap their limbs around each other !!!! june’s like a cuddly octopus shdksjdl but adam loves it, honestly. he’ll often wrap his arms around her and put on of his hands up her shirt, over her spine, so he can have some nice skin-on-skin contact. yknow....... as a treat
who wakes up with bed hair?
both !!!! june’s is probably a bit worse bcos it’s longer ????
who wakes up first?
eh, depends. i’d say adam, bcos he’s More Responsible, but june really doesn’t sleep much, so it could go either way
who prepares breakfast in bed for the other?
neither ??? june doesn’t cook and adam’s not a good cook
what is their favourite sleeping position?
either adam on his back with june tucked into his chest, his arms around her, or both of them on their sides and adam spooning june. they love em !!!!
do they set an alarm each night?
they do. june has broken multiple alarm clocks, tho, so make of that what u will
who has nightmares?
both :((( june’s are more frequent, i think
can a television be found in their bedroom?
nah. adam wouldn’t want one, and june watches everything on her laptop
who has ridiculous dreams?
probably june. she’ll sleepily recount them to adam the next morning in bed and he’ll either hm? into her neck to show he’s listening or huff a laugh against her skin
who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed?
june. adam has learned to accept this fact about her. usually he’ll just position her so that they’re both comfier when she does it, but he has been woken by her elbowing his side before
who makes the bed?
adam. june cba with that shit. she’s just gonna get back in it anyways !!!!
what time is bed time?
adam pushes june to go to bed by 11. sorry u gotta take care of ur stupid energiser bunny girlfriend, buddy
any routines/rituals before bed?
eh nothing in particular i dont think ??? nothing out of the standard brush teeth / clean face / get into pjs thing anyway
who’s the grumpiest when they wake up?
june is the GRUMPIEST. she’s not a morning person in the slightest
WORK.
who is the busiest?
hmmmmm. they’re both probably equally busy ??? i mean adam’s the head of the unit so he probs has work he has to do, but then june’s basically the head of the department bcos the captain’s never around, so she has a lot of work. and she has to balance that work with the agency. maybe june’s slightly busier ???
who rakes in the highest income?
eh they’re probs around the same ???
are any of them unemployed?
nope
who takes the most sick days?
june bcos adam doesn’t get sick. also sometimes she just wants A Personal Day and / or is hungover
what are their jobs?
he’s a commanding agent, she’s a liaison and also police detective
who sucks up to their boss?
haha adam’s technically june’s boss and she loves to suck badum tss
who is more likely to turn up late to work?
june shdjshdk girl is Bad at time management. sometimes tho they’ll both be late bcos a morning fuck went on too long. june is very smug on these days
who stresses the most?
uhhh both stress a lot ?? june has anxiety. but adam also is constantly on edge so ????
do they enjoy or despise their careers/occupations?
yeah they enjoy them i guess. adam definitely enjoys his. june is..... complicated. she doesn’t trust the agency and she doesn’t rly wanna be a cop, but she doesn’t know what else she could do so ???
are they financially stable?
yeah for the most part. the agency has good salaries
HOME.
who does the washing?
i think maybe june does it more often just bcos as a human she....... probably ???? goes through more clothes ??? that makes sense to me ??? idk hsdk
who takes out the trash?
adam, usually. especially if it’s dark; june ain’t going nowhere at night
who does the ironing?
again, adam. just bcos he’s more likely to have clothes that need ironing. june has never touched an iron in her life
who does the cooking?
i mean june is notorious for not cooking but rather ordering takeout, so...... i mean i dont think adam is a bad cook but he can rly only cook rly bland, simple meals, and he obviously doesnt need to eat so. i guess if it’s one of them it’s june
who is more likely to burn the house down just trying?
yeah june sdhskdhksdk she just has a very short attention span bro idk what to tell u
who is messier?
yep june no question. adam’s a lil bit of a neat freak im calling it
who leaves the toilet roll empty?
neither
who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor?
yeah june. sometimes adam if he’s had a long day tho. or like if theyre getting Freaky and leaving clothes everywhere. but in general, june’s more likely
who forgets to flush the toilet?
ew gross people do that ?? neither
who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere?
june shdjjsjdk
who answers the telephone?
uhh both ig ?? but they don’t have like a landline or anything they only have their cells
who mows the lawn?
adam, but only once they’ve moved out of june’s apartment after having the kids. june’s got a black thumb bro she’s not allowed near the garden on nate’s orders
who does the vacuuming?
both !!! they take turns
who does the groceries?
june 100% and she always ends up getting shit that wasn’t on the list shdjskdk. sometimes they’ll do it together tho
who takes the longest to shower?
uhhhh i mean. i think they shower together quite a lot so ???? both ???
who spends the most time in the bathroom?
like getting ready ???? uhh depends. if june’s doing makeup, her, but she doesn’t do it often
MISCELLANEOUS.
is money a problem?
nahhh the agency pays them well
how many cars do they own?
originally only june’s shitty little hatchback, but when the kids are born they get a second one. probably it is very pretty and fancy and expensive, because adam
what’s their song?
either dermot kennedy’s power over me, or fortress by bear’s den. like, seriously, look up the lyrics; they’re the ULTIMATE adamjune songs
do they live in the city or in the country?
does wayhaven count as a city, even if it’s like... a small town ??? idk
do they own their home or do they rent?
june’s renting her apartment currently, but when ollie and emma are born, they buy a place at the edge of town
do they enjoy their surroundings?
eh. neither of them are especially fond of wayhaven, but i think maybe it grows on them over time ??? june definitely in her current point in canon is only there bcos she doesn’t know where else to go
what do they do when they’re away from each other?
Yearn like fools. they miss each other shdjshdk they’ll call each other if adam is ever sent out on an assignment away from town or june has to take some kinda business trip. theyre always super happy to be reunited
where did they first meet?
at an abandoned warehouse in book 1. june shot him. it was great
who spends the most money when out shopping?
uhhhhhh bro i genuinely don’t know ??? adam and june both have terrible taste in clothes; he walks around in cargo pants half the time and she’s never not in something oversized and baggy and possibly falling apart ???
ig june spends a lot on technology ??? and on food ????
who’s more likely to flash their assets?
ok i mean adam has already in canon gotten shirtless and flashed his assets at june while convinced he feels nothing for her so. him. he’s a show-off we all know this
any mental issues?
yeah lmao. june already had ptsd before canon from being assaulted in college, and now it’s just worse bcos of everything with murphy and shit. she also has depression, because obviously, and anxiety. also adhd if that counts ??? it probably counts
i think adam’s got some ptsd too from that Terrible Fiery Scene Of Death we saw in the mirror from his past, and probably that’s compounded by experiences since he became a vampire too ??? possibly some depression as well just bcos i’m now considering his whole ‘numb for years’ thing and how that overlaps with depression ?? :/// idk
who finds it amusing when the other trips over?
adam doesn’t trip often but when he does june howls with laughter. usually if he’s tripping it’s bcos she’s done something Very Distracting. one time she took her shirt off in their living room when he wasnt expecting it and he walked into a wall
when june trips (which she often does) adam will sorta snort very quietly or his lips will twitch but he’ll always stabilise her quickly
who’s terrified of bugs?
yep june 100%
who kills the spiders around the house?
shsjdhskdjk ADAM. “june, it’s just an insect.” “um, untrue, it’s an arachnid, those are different fucking things—” “it’s miniscule. even more so than you are.” “okay, ha, ha, very funny, please kill it, adam i’m serious, kill it, it has eight legs, it’s waiting to murder me, fucking kill it!” “i’m killing it, calm down.”
do they have any fears for their future?
yeah. june’s worried she’s gonna get totally murdered lmao bcos odds are someone’s gonna try again. adam is also terrified abt this distinct possibility. he’s also scared that, like... she’ll live ??? as in ??? she won’t ever turn, she’ll stay mortal her whole life, and after waiting 900 years for her, he’ll only get a few decades with her before she dies.
that’s like not gonna happen she absolutely becomes a vampire after emma and ollie are born but still. he’s dramatic
their favourite place?
the warehouse, probably ??? it’s safe and secure and it’s comfortable ??? or else june’s apartment. i think june prefers her apartment just slightly
who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner?
adam ??? but it’s more likely that they’d go out to a fancy dinner, rather than him cook one
who pays the bills?
they split them
who’s the tallest?
sndjhskdjkd adam. june hates and loves this fact in equal measure. adam is very smug abt how teeny tiny his girlfriend is shdkshdk he finds it very funny. also very sweet he loves it
who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?
both, honestly. theyre bad at keeping their hands off each other once they’re together. maybe june is ever so slightly more likely ?? idk
who wanders around in their underwear?
both. adam likes to distract june w his abs bro what can i say. june just is most comfortable walking around in a sports bra and briefs
who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio?
june !!! and she’ll lean into his face and sing right at him with this big dumb grin too. adam will refuse to make eye contact but he’ll have this tiny lil smile on his face
what do they tease each other about?
everything. june roasts adam on the daily. adam will very dryly retort back every time. they were made for each other im telling u.
june will sometimes bring up his whole humans are weak thing at the most ridiculous times. like, adam tries to get her to get out of bed in the morning and she’ll groan and start lamenting how weak and fragile she is, she couldn’t possibly get out of bed in this state, adam, i have glass bones and paper skin, don’t u love me ????
adam’s teasing is just dryly taking the piss out of dumb shit she says. she’ll talk abt a fight she had with someone and say she went “wa-pow!” when she hit them and he’ll just deadpan repeat, “wa-pow.” his face totally straight. i wuv themm
who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times?
i mean neither they both have bad fashion taste. but also june hates the fucking cargo pants bruh
who crushed first?
adam did shdkshdk even if he didn’t realise. june didn’t figure out she liked him until the time between book 1 and book 2, because she missed him and she couldn’t figure out why
any alcohol or substance related problems?
uhhh no not rly. june has a history of using recreational drugs but that was in college and she doesn’t touch most of that shit these days
who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am?
june probably shdjshdk she’ll have a girl’s night with farah, morgan, and tina, and just come home absolutely fucking twatted. adam always tucks her in
who swears the most?
yeah june. she swears in every other word. the first time she made adam curse is burned into her brain seriously she takes such pride in it
#bruh this meme is so fucking long i gotta go lie down ashsjdghjsjdk#as always im sorry if i forgot someone !!!! i do that a lot#pls do it anyway and say i tagged u#tag games#ch: june lovelace
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TW DRAMA AND ME ACTING ON MY EMOTIONS CAUSE OF THIS POST
Granted I did post this after sending her an apology and I’m glad I now have official confirmation that she has seen said apology. The very fact that I have sent an apology means that I had got over the situation and just didn’t care about it anymore. I also tagged @toomanyfamdom because we thought it was ✨funny✨ and have gotten over the situation (unlike some).
It should also be noted that I haven’t had any contact with Maddy since everything that happened and at least had the decency to send an apology and move on. Also, for the record, I had nothing to do with that list of toxicity. That list was put together and shown to me by my friends. I then continued to FORWARD THE SAME MESSAGE to Maddy because I disagreed with the list.
Let’s see, shall we? Up first on the list of hell that I had nothing to do with (and disagree with) there is... “inconsiderate of time zones and peoples family life.” This eventually turned out to be accurate, not just for me but for many others. Madison would organise events like DnD games at UNGODLY hours in the morning (because she is in American time zones) and when us British people were unable to turn up she would kick them from the game and then proceed to shame their character for an hour. Granted her uncle did pass (im very sorry for your loss), but that had nothing to do with anything. Many of us (including myself) helped Maddy and were there for her, and I have plenty of messages to prove it.
ANOTHER thing to do with time is when I was added to one of the greatest Instagram group chats in the world! However, my sleep was abruptly ruined when Maddy group-called the chat at 4am because she wanted to play Minecraft with a friend. Please direct call next time... thanks.
Whilst on the subject of time family life, one of the most memorable things this girl did was shame me and attack me on one of the discord servers we were both on. What made this even worse was that I had an audition for a London West End theatre school which had the power to change my LIFE. And Maddy knew this and also knew that it was worrying me and that I was extremely stressed about it. You may say ‘oh, it's just a coincidence’. If you believe that please explain why said post tagged everyone and was posted 5 mins before my audition. Maddy knew this would stress me out, I spoke about the audition and my ability to read into things many times before and she knew this would get to me! A lot of the things Maddy did were petty shit, but then again, that’s who she is.
Next up is... “shows blatant favouritism.” Well, it’s no surprise Maddy has so many friends! But which ones does she actually care about? My friends and I witness this first hand on many occasions, one of which being another DnD game where she was the dungeon master. Maddy made the turn order by (and I quote’, “the order is in who I love the most.” This caused some of us to feel a little uncomfortable, but we continued until Maddy put each character on a path to different destinations and explained which each path was. By the time it got to me, my dyspraxia/dyslexia couldn't hold the information, and I asked Maddy to explain them all again. Maddy agreed and but then ended with, “You just used up you go, Charley.” I was so confused! Apparently, explanations waste a turn??? But this was fine by me until Maddy explained the destinations to another player, but this time, she let them choose where they wanted to go instead of keeping them on the bench, awaiting their turn. Maddy would also allow people to have longer goes/round claiming that there was more to their story. My turn would be around 2mins where someone else would be 5. Again, petty shit which still happens to make people upset.
Note: It was not just me who felt this way! Many others slid into my dms because they felt upset with how Maddy treated others but not themselves.
Up next is, “making your best friend feel like shit for making a joke”. Another reminder, this list wasn’t written by me, it was written by my friend who was watching from the outside. And this is very true. I would often make jokes with people about Donald Trump and America because their laws and president (not anymore) were stupid. This always seemed to annoy Maddy and hurt her feelings. I would often make a throwaway comment but end up feeling bad about it because Maddy would leave the call. I always felt like I was walking on thin ice with her because if I said something even remotely controversial, she would not speak to me and leave the call. This really hurt me because I cared about my friends a heck of a lot and never wanted to ruin any relationships with them. I would send countless messages to Maddy, apologising and crying to her, telling her not to be mad at me. THAT 👏🏻 IS 👏🏻 A 👏🏻 TOXIC 👏🏻 RELATIONSHIP 👏🏻 One joke shouldn’t be the be-all and end-all of a friendship,, but that is what It always felt like! Also, Maddy never specified it was a trigger until recently, and even after she did say it was a trigger, I held back so she could feel comfortable.
The final thing is: “made you feel bad for your emotions.” Madison needs to learn that EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT and that people deal with things in different ways. Not everyone is smart, sensitive or skinny like she is. Whenever anyone hurt my friends, I would lash out and act upon my emotions because I didn’t know what else to do. This is something Maddy heavily criticised me for and something that eventually resulted in me listening to high-frequency sounds so I could get rid of my emotions and feel numb. My logic was that I didn’t want to hurt anyone ever again by jumping the gun and acting upon emotion. But thanks to others, I was pulled out of that loop, and I’ve learnt to use logic and reason as well as emotion.
As for “breaking my heart”. Yes. Our friendship ending did hurt me, a lot. Just like everything with you, it is very one-sided. I was reaching out, listening and trying to help Maddy repair relationships with people whom she’d hurt. We both said equally bad things which made the ‘relationship’ toxic, and I would just like to point out that the name, ‘evil Maddy’ is cringe and I’m ashamed I was ever friends with you considering you used that in a callout post. /hj
---------------
Sarcasm aside, ima be real here because I am not afraid to tell my side of the story. So, @ thenameisnoone / Maddy. Here is a long-ass response to the post you made about me. xx
Look, I’m not going to call you out or use Politics_notmything to cancel you because I’m not like that. I’m an actual good person who really tried with Maddy and dis my best to change myself to make her feel comfortable. I left a group chat with all my friends for a week and blamed it on ‘family issues’ because I didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable. I made an entire Birthday PowerPoint for her, which included some of my best and favourite bootlegs. I made a genuine effort, but Maddy didn't really do anything else but tell me to “calm down” or “not throw everything away and give in to anger or despair and calm down until you can think rationally and make a logical decision”.
And I’m glad I actually saw this because this is a classic Maddy move. She argues with people, builds up a situation then removes/blocks them, so they cant see everything she’s saying about them (i have proof of this from a server im in.) It has happened before, and she manipulated people into believing her side of the story.
“I am allowed to block people who lie to me about serious topics even though they have trust issues which makes them unable, to tell the truth, if it hurts them. I am allowed to talk to people who blow up on me before hearing my side of things where they would have realised what they thought is wrong even though I dont get back to people until 3am and decide to leave them on delivered/read for days at a time when I am happily talking in other servers. I am allowed to block people who accuse me of shit-talking them with my friends who I introduced them to (and I never do that) when I have only defended them and said friends genuinely were being nice to them even if they have proof. I am allowed to block people. Period.” - Maddy
And I’m not saying Maddy isn't allowed to block people. It’s a free world. Im just defending myself :)
Granted, Maddy did defend me and say that this situation shouldn’t change anyone opinions on me, and I can say the same. Just because I had a terrible experience with Maddy, doesn’t mean she is a bad person and I encourage anyone online who loves women’s’ history and WATT to befriend her.
But being honest, she did also call me a bitch on a Tumblr callout post, so I had to come and write this all down for safekeeping and reblogging purposes. Im not a bitch, and that is why I’m not using my following to cancel her. But anyway, we both had some shit experiences with each other so you can read this and make up your own mind even though I did back her up with the previous call-out post, sent her my support, apologised and didn’t block her when she was at a bad time in her life or when she needed help. If anyone has a problem with me posting this, please contact me via DM.
Sorry, not sorry ‘bout what I said. I’m just tired of your petty shit.
#it was supposed to be a joke#u took it too far#like u always do#please just move on#your causing so much unnecessary drama#no offence#but this is just stupid#also dont presume in not gonna find out#can we also talk about how#i destroyed my mental health for u#cos u wanted someone to spy for u#cos u were once again#BEING PETTY#also florida sucks#i just thought id mention#make sure ya'll vote biden next time
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THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.
fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.
My muse is: canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless /
Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO.
Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK.
Is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK.
Are they underrated? YES / NO.
Were they relevant for the main story? YES / NO.
Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.
Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO.
How’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL.
How strictly do you follow canon? — Pretty strictly, I think? I mean... I do always try my best to stick to canon events because although I am a big fan of AUs, I absolutely suck at writing canon-divergent characters. I also look out for possible dialectisms that come from Hinamori & put some work towards Hinamori’s personal development; all of this according to whatever has happened to her in canon / is shown by her in canon.
SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals. — There’s an entire world waiting beyond Hinamori’s pretty face? She’s still pretty much just a baby when in comparison to many other Lieutenants (being the second youngest, right after lil Yachiru), which makes her super innocent and funny. She’s also very upbeat, easy-going, and friendly! She’s such a devoted Lieutenant and honestly a great worker? Super strong with her kido spells, too! A great student?! A very, very good girl, honestly! She’s the greatest person you will ever meet, I swear to GOD !!
Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?). — Most of the people, from what I can perceive from reading different opinions and have read through my years in Bleach forums and such, is that she’s pretty mentally weak. Hinamori seems to be extremely unbalanced and the previously mentioned devotion actually becomes... a weakness? Although I don’t agree with it ( mostly because I do believe her devotion towards Aizen was induced and not... something natural ), I can understand what people mean by this. Also, she mostly uses magic spells and keeps herself at a certain distance when in combat;; which people might easily perceive as her being weak when it’s just... her fighting style and body stature.
What inspired you to rp your muse? — I have roleplayed Hinamori for over 6 years now? almost 7, actually. I made this blog in 2014, however, I was supposed to be writing Hitsugaya. I ended up changing my entire blog’s aesthetics, not even a week later, to match Hinamori and decided to try her out. Why? Well... long story short... the fandom was full of Hitsugaya blogs. asjhdfasjdhfg I didn’t want simply be just one more in the ocean of amazing Hitsugaya writers;; so I decided to write someone who gave me access to heavy development ( because there was so little content back then ) and fun times ! lil peach was the obvious answer!
What keeps your inspiration going? — Most of the time its music? Whenever I decide to focus on an rp blog, I create a go-to playlist that helps me channel the muse’s traits and helps me write with more ease! That... and re-reading manga pages that might make me come up with headcanons, which I, later, always tend to apply to threads. Oh yeah, uh... LMAO! How could I forget? Talking to friends and discussing things with them, also often lets my creativity soar and helps me channel my muse’s persona. uwu
Some more personal questions for the mun.
Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.
Do you think you give your character justice? YES / NO.
Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO.
Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO.
Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO.
Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO.
Are you confident in your writing? YES / NO.
Are you a sensitive person? YES / NO.
Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal? — Honestly, yes? I am a person that needs to receive constant criticism & is very open about it, too. I often find myself asking for criticism & find myself craving for bigger improvement.
Do you like questions, which help you explore your character? — HELLS TO THE YES !! But then again... who doesn’t? It makes me so so happy whenever I receive a question or a simple message that might help me develop Hinamori’s character traits or behaviours? I love my girl so much;; knowing that others want me to gush about her amazingness & make her grow even more is nothing but an honour to me, tbh.
If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why? — Well... yeah? But not in a bad way, of course! I absolutely love discussing headcanons and getting different points of view from things ( such as headcanons, in this specific topic ) so I can center myself and find a clearer way to analyze things! Discussing headcanons is dope, man!
If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it? — This is going to be a pretty short response cause ;; I don’t care? I’m not here to really... please others. I’m here to have fun for my own self and to enjoy writing with other amazing fellas. Ain’t nobody gonna rain on my parade with unnecessary negativity;;
If someone really hates your character, how do you take it? — I haven’t ever seen many people hate Hinamori’s character? However, I do have seen quite the few people disregard her as the important character she is, or reduce her to a level that doesn’t... entirely fit the reason why she was created. Still, it’s none of my business. I don’t let it get to me or feel... the need to do anything about it? Or even talk about it? I can’t really change people’s views, so I often would just rather love my baby peach and let others do as they please.
Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors? — ABSOLUTELY? It’s even part of my rules like ;; please tell me if you ever find a grammatical error ANYWHERE in my blog. English isn’t my mother tongue and thus it can be very difficult for me to keep up with fancy writing while also sticking to correct grammar? idk if this makes sense but... yknow.
Do you think you are easy going as a mun? — I do think I am very easy going kind of fella? Sometimes it takes me forever go get to messages ( both through discord & IMS ), but I think that’s because lately I’ve been feeling super emotionally drained ;; I haven’t been out of my goddamn house for three months and I sincerely miss seeing faces that aren’t my parents. I did take a drive the other day but... sobs... it left such a bittersweet taste. ANYWAY !! Yes. I’m very easy going and talkative. Also a big, big enthusiastic? And positivist! I am someone who always prefers to stick to the bright side of life and ignore anything that might be the least problematic so yeah ~ I am uwu. Come meet me. I’m cool. I swear.
That’s about it, congrats for filling out!
Tagged by: @hirako5hinji ( aka the greatest taichō ever. uwu go to bed harder next time, Anna. ♡ ) Tagging: ANYONE WHO WANTS TO DO IT !! just steal it from me. be gay. do crimes.
#🌺 ✖ ✖ 𝕗𝕚𝕗𝕥𝕙'𝕤 𝕡𝕖𝕒𝕔𝕙 — ♡ ic challenges //#🌺 ✖ ✖ 𝕞𝕒𝕘𝕚𝕔𝕚𝕒𝕟'𝕤 𝕣𝕒𝕕𝕚𝕒𝕟𝕔𝕖 — ♡ ooc challenges //#( this was so much fuuuuuuuuuuuuun omg I'm cryin#but it took me forever to get to ?? so OOF )
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quiet on widow’s peak (3)
pairing: dan howell/phil lester, pj liguori/sophie newton/chris kendall rating: teen & up tags: paranormal investigator, youtuber phil lester, dan howell is not a youtuber, online friendship, slow burn, strangers to lovers, nonbinary character, trans character, background poly, phil does some buzzfeed unsolved shit and dan is a fan word count: 3.1k (this chapter), 9.5k (total) summary: Phil’s got a list of paranormal experiences a mile long that he likes to share with the world. Abandoned buildings, cemeteries, and ghost stories have always called his name, and a particular fan of his has a really, really good ghost story.
read this chapter on ao3 or here!
Interviews used to be Phil's least favourite part of this job. The research was always captivating, the filming was always fun, the editing was always challenging, but talking? To people? About things? Absolutely not.
He still doesn't love doing it, but he's long past the point of begging Martyn or Ian to pretend to be him on the phone.
The curtains in Phil's room are open for once, letting natural light in so he doesn't look as dark on the Skype screen. His eyes keep drifting to himself, distracting him as he tries to fix his hair or laments not getting out of his pyjamas. This is his fourth interview of the day, and he's starting to hate the process with a renewed fervour.
"Okay, thank you," he says, clicking out of the screen record window. "Can I message you here if I have any further questions, or would you prefer this to be your final statement?"
"Oh, um," the girl says, her eyes round with some kind of emotion that Phil can't be bothered to parse. "No, no, that's... that's all I saw. I don't have anything else. But you can still... message me, if you like."
Ah. Phil makes a face that he hopes reads as apologetic and not panicked. "No, I - sorry. Gay. Just interested in your ghost."
"Oh!" she says again, looking more puzzled than Phil thinks she has any right to after a forty minute conversation where he mostly just asked her clarifying questions that she kept dodging. She tucks some of her long hair behind her ear and shakes her head. "Sorry, that's just - you haven't said that online."
Phil isn't very good at knowing when people are lying to him, but now he's definitely suspicious of the half-assed testimony he'd gotten from this girl. He sighs. "Okay, you know who I am, then?"
"I mean, I looked you up when you messaged me about a video and all," she says. "Wanted to know if you were a creep or, like, legit."
Okay, that's fair enough. Phil supposes that if he were a girl in uni and a stranger asked to video chat, he'd also do a little digging first. He still doesn't quite believe her story, though - most of it matches what she'd written on Facebook, word for word, and she didn't go into detail on anything she claimed happened.
"Right, of course," says Phil, feeling awkward and exposed.
Her eyes are wide and blue and she can see into his room, into his life, and she's giving him this look like she thinks she knows something about him. He hates this feeling.
"That a secret, then?" she asks.
"No," Phil says. "It's just not relevant to my job. I don't have a lot of ghouls asking me out."
She doesn't laugh. Phil is getting more and more uncomfortable by the second, and he's wondering if it's worth it to hang up on a potential lead - no matter how dubious her claims - when she says, "Well, alright. I won't tell anyone anyway."
"Thanks," Phil says automatically. He doesn't particularly care if she does or not, but he does want this call to end as soon as possible. "And thanks for your time. Message me if you think of anything else you forgot to mention about the Wilkins place or if you know of someone who's seen something."
Before she can even respond, Phil hits end on the call and groans, resting his forehead on his thumbs for a moment.
Unsurprisingly, this is giving him a migraine. It doesn't take much to make the twinge of a headache turn to insistent throbbing, because Phil's body hates him and overreacts to everything.
Phil takes a couple of deep breaths before he comes out of hiding. He attaches the final screen recording to the email he's already got open and ready to send to Martyn. After a moment's thought, he CCs PJ and Sophie in and adds, Nobody sounds credible except the second person to me, so... it's not looking good lol, before hitting send.
He takes off his glasses and rubs at his eyes for a moment. Interviews are still draining for him, especially when they don't go as planned, and Phil's starting to get the impression that there's nothing to even find at the Wilkins place.
But. Phil pauses, considers his options. He hasn't interviewed everyone, has he.
Before he can talk himself out of it, Phil shoves his glasses unceremoniously back onto his face and opens Tumblr. Winnie hasn't said anything to him so far today, so Phil feels only a little like he's bothering them when he shoots off a quick, Hey! I just finished interviewing the sources you gave me and most of them aren't very promising. Would you consider letting me ask you some questions to round out the video?
me?????, Winnie replies almost immediately. i didnt even see anything?? like im happy to answer questions but idk how much use ill b in an INTERVIEW
I know! And you don't have to lmao so don't feel pressured or anything but you know so much more about the place than they do. Everyone claimed that they didn't know other people were having paranormal experiences.
oh bullshit, Winnie says. Phil is surprised into a huff of laughter.
There's a part of Phil, fuelled by anxiety and uncertainty, that worries Winnie is just pulling an elaborate joke on him. That part of him feels a little more at ease every time he actually talks to Winnie. They just seem... genuine. And maybe Martyn would disagree, would blame Phil's desperation to see the best in people, but there's a reason Phil doesn't tell Martyn everything.
Before Phil can agree with Winnie's colourful derision, his laptop beeps again. i look like an ogre rn but i can voice chat if you rly think itll help
It would!!, Phil assures them. The tender spot behind his eyes twinges again, serving as a reminder. Can I call in like an hour? I've got a headache from the screen lol
sure i really have nothing else going on today
--
So it's later in the day, late afternoon light still streaking through Phil's window, when Phil sits back down at his computer and adds the Skype username Winnie gave him. His head still hurts a bit, but it isn't all-consuming now that he's had another coffee and some painkillers. The padded headphones feel good to put over his ears, blocking out most of the typical noises from such a full house and a busy street, and Phil just sits in the blissful quiet for a moment before he sends a voice call request.
It gets picked up almost immediately, and Phil presses a smile into his palm before he says, "Hi! Can you hear me alright?"
There's a beat. Phil waits, in case Skype is lagging as usual, but he's opening his mouth to repeat himself by the time he gets a response.
"Yeah," says Winnie. "I can hear you."
Phil isn't really proud of himself for being surprised by Winnie's voice. It's just. He knows his viewer demographics, okay, and he has a rough grasp on Tumblr demographics, and the name - alright. It isn't his proudest moment, is his point, because he's expecting a much higher pitch for absolutely no good reason.
In addition to that, his brain automatically tries to classify Winnie's voice as very obviously masculine, and Phil has to push back against that.
"I can hear you, too," Phil says cheerfully, not allowing his anxieties to spill over into the conversation.
"That's good, probably," Winnie says. There's another beat of silence, and then a huff that might be laughter or a sigh comes through Phil's headphones. "Sorry, I - I'm not trying to be fucking weird, this is just surreal."
"Is it?" Phil hums. "But I haven't even asked you about ghosts yet."
A snort - definitely laughter, this time - follows, and Phil is so glad that he's able to put Winnie at ease even if his brain is betraying him. "That's true. I guess it's gotta get weirder from here."
"That's kind of, like, the subtitle of my whole channel," says Phil. After a moment, he frowns. "Subtitle? No. What's the thing, on the poster -"
"Tagline," says Winnie. They sound so amused and warm and, okay, they've got a nice voice. That's not gendered. Phil can think that. "You're thinking of a tagline, you buffoon."
"Tagline," Phil echoes gratefully.
"Don't you," Winnie starts, then stops abruptly. They don't finish the sentence, but Phil can kind of guess what they were going to say. There's the sound of some rustling, like Winnie is getting comfortable, before they change tacks. "Again, I didn't see any of this alleged ghostly activity with my own eyes, but I know the hot goss."
Phil opens the recording program out of habit, nodding even though Winnie can't see him. "That's still really useful at this point," he says encouragingly. He clicks a couple of buttons. "And, yes, I do have an English degree. Thank you for not asking."
Winnie laughs, the sound of it filling Phil's headphones and making it feel like they're in the room with him. It's warm, like everything else about their voice, and absolutely contagious.
"I didn't want you to think I was, like, a big stalker," Winnie says, and Phil can hear the grin in their voice.
"Eh, I know you watch my videos," says Phil. "So I figure you know some stuff about me. You probably know that I'm going to ask this, too, but - is it okay if I record our conversation? I don't need to include it in the video if you don't want me to, but it's still useful for me if I don't so I can, like, actually remember the things you told me."
"Yeah, sure," Winnie agrees easily. They hesitate, for a moment, and Phil waits for whatever the caveat will be. "Uh, can I still swear?"
The question surprises Phil into laughing. "Yeah, you're fine. I can bleep them out."
"Then I am all for it. Ask me the ghost questions, ghost man."
Phil presses record and glances down at his notebook, where he's scrawled some disjointed questions alongside his usual doodling. "Uh, okay. Yes. I am totally a professional."
"If you say so, mate," says Winnie.
"Hush. Okay." Phil finally gets his brain back on track and taps his pen against a question near the end of his list. "So, Winnie, you did all this research into the Wilkins place on your own downtime, but you mentioned that you've been hearing murmurs about it for a while, right?"
"Not that long, actually, I've only been hearing about it since term started," Winnie says, and Phil is struck by how comfortable they suddenly are now that there's a guideline. Or, maybe, now that there's a non-Phil audience. "Which I thought was pretty weird, since I'd been there a couple times since I moved here, and it's a spooky fucking place but nothing to write home about."
That's more or less exactly how Phil feels about the situation, except that he doesn't remember the Wilkins place to be scary at all. Maybe it's gotten worse in the years since, or maybe he's just got a higher threshold for empty, decrepit homes than Winnie does. Either way, he's not sure if he should be relieved or suspicious that their thoughts on it mirror his own so well. He starts a spiral in the corner of his page as he considers the answer.
"So, you never got the impression that it was haunted before?"
"I - can I be perfectly honest?" Winnie asks, and then doesn't wait for a response. "I don't get the impression that it's haunted now. I dunno if people are just making shit up or if they're doing too many drugs, but we all know that ghosts don't actually exist."
Phil snorts. He does have a fairly large number of skeptics who watch his videos to argue in the comments about logical explanations for his findings or to just enjoy watching him fail so much, but he hadn't really expected that from someone who sent him a sourced essay on the topic of ghosts.
He's recording right now, so he's not about to give away the fact that, yeah, he kind of does agree with Winnie on this one. Instead, he keeps his tone neutral and says, "You don't believe in ghosts."
"I don't believe in most things that can't be explained by science," Winnie says, so matter-of-fact that Phil has to smile.
"I don't really believe in science," Phil says, mild.
A beat. "Excuse me?"
"I said I don't believe in science," Phil repeats, doubling down on the joke so he can hear that incredulous pitch of Winnie's nice voice again. "I mean, isn't it all just as made-up as anything else? People just tell us stuff exists and we have to believe them?"
"We believe them," Winnie says slowly, "because it's a fact."
"How do I know that?" Phil asks. He knows how off track he's already gotten, and he decides to cut this part out before he sends the file to Martyn or his friends.
"Because you can. See it. With your eyes." The genuine bewilderment in Winnie's voice is very funny. "Like. What the fuck, Phil. If someone drops an apple and it hits the ground and they're like, 'oh that's gravity', how are you supposed to say, 'uh, no it ain't'?"
Phil leans back in his chair a bit, his spiral turning into an apple. "Because, what if that's just what the apple wanted to do? It's not like we know any of this for sure, Winnie."
"You're fucking with me," Winnie says, but they don't sound very certain.
"I am," Phil admits happily. "Do you remember the first incident that kicked off the Wilkins place rumours?"
"You," Winnie says, and then cackles. They lean away from their mic as they do, but the sound of it still makes Phil feel some secondhand giddiness. He wonders if their laugh has a volume limit, or if it's just going to keep getting louder the funnier Phil is. He is so tempted to put that to the test. "Fuck. You little fucker."
Phil hides his own giggle in the palm of his hand and clears his throat, trying to get back into the professional mindset he'd forced himself to be in for the four earlier interviews.
"Do you need me to repeat the question?" Phil asks. He can't resist teasing, just a bit.
"No, fuck off," Winnie chuckles. They take a deep breath and let it out on a hum, low and thoughtful. "So, there was this shindig during fresher's, which I obviously didn't go to because I'm not a fresher and I'm too old to go to shindigs, but people were talking about how the house was making weird noises. A girl I know - I linked you to her Reddit post - said she saw someone just standing outside the window watching them, but, like, is that really a supernatural occurrence in Rusholme?"
"It's not. And she hit on me as well, so I'm not sure her judgement is trustworthy."
"Sounds like her. Sorry. Anyway, nobody really thought 'ghosts' as much as they thought 'rats in the walls and a pervert on the street', but then - this one didn't get spoken about online. I don't even know how valid it is."
"Word of mouth is how most ghost stories get passed," says Phil. "I'm not going to hold you to citations on rumours."
Winnie huffs a laugh. It's soft, quiet, and Phil almost wishes he could say something ridiculous to make them cackle again. Unfortunately, he has a job to do.
"Fair enough. Well, some idiots spent the night there to see if anything weird would happen," Winnie says, and Phil feels a bit attacked, "and three separate dudes had sleep paralysis."
Phil hums and jots some messy notes down. "In the same night?"
"At the same time," Winnie corrects him. "The other idiots were trying to wake them up for a long time, apparently. They're convinced that the guys who fell asleep were just pulling a prank on them, and maybe they were, but that's when the ball really got rolling."
Out of everything Phil has heard today, this is the most compelling story so far. Maybe that's a good indicator of the Manchester students being full of it - maybe there truly is nothing to find in the Wilkins place - but it piques Phil's interest anyway.
"For someone who only believes in cold, hard science, you're good at telling ghost stories," Phil says.
"Thanks," Winnie says, sounding pleased with themselves. "Learned from the best."
Phil is suddenly very, very glad that this isn't a video call, because he can't stop himself from smiling like an idiot. "Oh, is that what they're calling me?"
Another cackle. Phil doesn't remember the last time he made someone laugh so much without tripping over his own clown feet.
"I never said I was talking about you."
"Uh huh."
"Oh, shut up," says Winnie, and Phil can still hear the laughter in their voice. "Don't you have a bunch of questions to ask or something?"
Phil does. He has a whole list of questions that he should be following. He chews on his pen and looks at the doodle-covered list of things he's meant to ask Winnie. His head still hurts - maybe the extra caffeine didn't help after all - and all he really wants to do is take a nap.
"Yeah," Phil says, reluctant. "I've just got, like, a migraine. Can I call you back another time? This was a really great start."
"Oh, yeah, sure," says Winnie. They've dropped their voice down to something soft, like they're worried that they'll make Phil's headache worse.
"I'm actually going up to check the place out this weekend." Phil isn't sure what makes him say that. He meets up with sources in person, sometimes, but usually only if they've seen something with their own eyes. He just feels comfortable talking to Winnie, far more than he'd felt talking to the other students he'd interviewed today.
Phil doesn't actually extend the invitation, and Winnie either doesn't pick up the hint or doesn't care to.
"That'll be good," they say, still soft. "Get some rest, Phil, you can call me back when your brain stops trying to drill a hole through your temple."
After Phil says goodbye and hangs up, he sits at his desk for a long moment. It feels too quiet, all of a sudden, his padded headphones blocking out all the ambient noise around him. It's good for his head, but Phil is still weirdly disappointed.
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THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; mun & muse - meme.
tagged by: @bxstiae thank u!! tagging: anyone who wants to do this ♡
fill out & repost ♥ this meme definitely favors canons more, but i hope oc’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. multi-muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.
My muse is: canon / oc / au ( has au verses ) / canon-divergent / fandomless
Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO.
Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK.
Is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK.
Are they underrated? YES / NO.
Were they relevant for the main story? YES / NO / MAYBE.
Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.
Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO / MAYBE.
How’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL.
How strictly do you follow canon? — pretty strictly. tbh i think i could do with a little more canon-divergence but i usually focus pretty hard on canon and diverging too far in my own muses, unless they were poorly written, tends to bother me.
SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals. — need a sweet country boy with a heart of gold who loves hard and fast and considers everyone he loves as part of his family ? how about a boy that can kick your ass to the sacred realm and back with his bare hands and a dizzying amount of strength ? how about a big friendly wolf that really doesn’t act all that much like a wolf but is big and soft and a really nice companion ? a boy that carries on and sees the best in people despite his trauma ? a boy who’s an absolute fucking dork and loses his mind whenever he sees a cat ? will smith poses @ link
Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?). — he’s the protagonist, he’s too nice, too likable, and he might be, from some perspectives, super overpowered. a lot of his flaws are issues that come with a lot of protagonist characters, like selflessness to a fault, recklessness, a desire to help no matter the cost, etc., and it might come across as overdone or unoriginal for someone like him.
What inspired you to rp your muse? — twipri has been my favorite video game of all time since i first played it the xmas after it came out, when i was 7. it was an unbelievably huge influence on my life, and got me through a whole lot of shit i’d have to go through up until i was a teenager. it was a constant for me, a comfort. and link, being the protagonist, was of course the center of it. i connected to him really hard, and becoming him whenever i played the game was like magic to me as a kid. honestly, i dont know why i didnt write him until this year, because he’s been such an easy headspace for me to slip into for years. ig i just figured it was about time? id already written both tp zel and midna at separate points, so it was only right to complete the trio ksjfgh
What keeps your inspiration going? — the game itself, its soundtrack, art, linked universe and its little fandom, and you guys! just seeing all of your posts and your passion for loz and its characters helps fuel the love i have for it too!
Some more personal questions for the mun.
give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.
Do you think you give your character justice? YES / NO.
Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO. ( i have. built up a lot of hcs about this boy over the years )
Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO. ( i usually do write drabbles every now and then, idk why i haven’t for link yet )
Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO.
Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO. ( hmm i mean. i think i am, anyway?? i like the way i portray him, but i guess im sorta insecure about whether or not yall like my portrayal lmao )
Are you confident in your writing? YES / NO. ( more or less, it depends on the day. back when i was a Gifted Kid my Gift was writing, and i was literally always chosen to read things i wrote aloud at school assemblies and things, so i. very much have a love / hate relationship w it )
Are you a sensitive person? YES / NO. ( i mean. i try really hard not to be but :’^) )
Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal? — tbh, i don’t know?? i usually do with other muses, but bc twi is very special to me i have literally no idea how well i would take it. of course, if u do have criticism ( of the constructive sort, of course ), i still welcome it
Do you like questions, which help you explore your character? — yes!!! if you ever have anything you wanna know about twi and the way i write him, please ask!!!
If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why? — nope. unless it’s in the context of sharing hcs back and forth and building on each other or part of a friendly conversation, i don’t want to hear why you think i’m wrong. i still think about that personal that rb’d a hc i made a month or so ago and put in the tags all the reasons they disagreed w me and i wish i didn’t bc i hate it
If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it? — i?? dunno??? i guess i’d just tell them to unfollow. i’m not here to write link the way you think he should be written, i’m here to write him the way i want to.
If someone really hates your character, how do you take it? — hkljfg does anyone hate link??? like. he’s link. he’s neutral at worst. but it’s not my business if someone hates him, so to each their own ig
Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors? — mm i don’t mind it, but i don’t really see the point. rp is a form of writing that doesn’t need much editing, and when it does, we are our own editors, so of course we’re going to make mistakes and overlook them. english is a complicated and hard language, and typos/misspellings/grammar errors happen and it’s not a big deal
Do you think you are easy going as a mun? — yes!! i’m a very laid-back person in general i think, and of course i have things i won’t tolerate and i’ll speak up when i need to, but at the end of the day rp is a hobby, and it’s something we do to have fun, and i know that having fun is the most important part of doing this. though, sometimes i think my anxiety & fear of confrontation might make me a little too lenient on things like my own rules tho kjfhg
that’s about it, congrats for filling out!
#okaY sorry for all the ooc again today!! i feel like drawing so i think im gonna doodle some tonight but#if anyone wants to talk u can ask for my discord or pop into my ims!!#⸢ OUT. ⸥ i’m actually a cat person.#dash games tbt.
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there’s so, so, SO much nonsense surrounding this game that i’m gonna do my best to separate it into digestible bits, with its own categories. even then this is... wow. it’s big.
Warning tags will be added at the start of every section, but the general gist is: incest, pedophilia mentions, fetishization of rape and abuse, fetishization of mlm, fetishization of people of color, racism, ableism, nb erasure and transphobia. aside of the warnings, this post will also touch upon Scummy Business Practices
let’s get going
Dana Rune’s and Elle’s lack of moral fiber: #incest #pedophilia#rape and abuse fetishization #homophobia
tl;dr: dana loves incest porn, elle loves guy on guy rape, and the both of them are friends with at least one pedophile
dana rune has run, is still running an incest zine (please visit my faq on what i think about “thats not really incest” and “it’s just fictional!”). The Arcana, as a dev team, clearly does not care, as shown in their e-mail responses.
dana also very much doesn’t care and has reacted to any criticism on this by dismissing people and blocking actual incest victims who tried to contact her about it claiming it was for her “mental health”
in some tweets she claims she “interprets” the characters as not siblings, but she never really cared enough to cover her ass when it all began (she happily admits she’d “cross the incest line”)
dana has commissioned artists who also ship incest, draw near-pedophilic art that’s supposed to pass as acceptable because the character involved is supposedly not a minor despite looking like a child down to wearing pigtails (the character is also wearing a racist-ass belly dancer outfit), AND even made white-washed fanart of The Arcana.
dana follows twitter user kapymui who also produces incestuous Fire Emblem art
dana has retweeted omocat long after it came out that omocat is, at the very least, consuming pedophilic content (on “omocat didn’t know what shota meant!”: yes they did)
moving on, elle has a long, long, LONG history of fetishizing mlm and the rape and abuse that comes with yaoi and had a rich, RICH “yaoi” tag before they deleted their tumblr
they curiously deleted their tumblr right after i made this reblog
shortly after that, tumblr user thalassiq remade and started attacking and insulting any blogs criticizing them - even people providing support in IMs. Since this doesn’t match Dana and Elle’s normal pity parties I’m personally willing to believe they were just a person wanting to start shit - but it’s so telling how Elle used this chance to dismiss everyone who disagrees with them by calling them “children” and did not even bother to offer a kind word to people who were harassed and even had their trauma mocked by this person. It costs 0 dollars to say “that was not me but I’m sorry about people who were hurt.”
Dana and Elle are close with Ava’s Demon creator Michelle Czajkowski aka that one person who endorses child porn of her characters, and even had her draw a promo image for the game. Michelle has been creating highly sexualized content of her minor characters for a while now.
ok so elle and dana are gross freaks, how is that related to the game?
oh it’s very very related
Dana Rune’s and Elle’s lack of moral fiber that’s Actually Inside The Game or The Game’s Blog: now with more #racism #fetishization of poc and mlm #whitewashing #fat hate #pedophilia #nb erasure #transphobia
tl;dr: the arcana is filled to the brim with racism! so much of it! haha holy shit! and that’s not even where it ends!!!
their game is rated PG-13 but includes incredibly sexual situations such as Julian making this fucking face while getting off on pain. This isn’t the only time Dana and Elle use their videogame aimed at young teens to showcase their kinks and fetishes. I have no issue with NSFW or titillating content, as long as it’s rated accordingly. This content is NOT and it’s a blatant disregard for their audience just to have a larger, more pliable demographic and have more money sent their way.
if you start your argument with “well, teenagers look at porn” 1. shut up 2. theres a HUGE difference between teenagers going after adult content aimed at adults, and adults creating content they know will be seen by kids barely starting puberty
as pointed above, dana has 0 qualms literally commissioning people who make whitewashed fanart of her own fucking game that’s supposed to be all about the inclusivity and safe spaces
thearcanagame blog has a pattern of reblogging whitewashed fanart (before you come in swinging with the good ole “ITS THE LIGHTING”: 1. no it isnt 2. the artist should’ve picked better lightning then 3. i draw and post shit online too so dont come telling me i just dont understaaaand),
fanart of their fat characters showed skinnier than they are in their sprites (although to be real for a moment - Portia is curvy at most and them behaving she’s fat rep is HILARIOUS).
going back to NSFW content: nadia and asra are overwhemlingly sexualized in the game, and were the first to have sexualized CGs and sprites introduced.
CGs: Asra’s here, here aND HERE, Nadia’s here with a NSFW warning because she’s just got her whole fucking ass out. Sprites: Asra’s thank god for whoever compiled it all in one image, Nadia’s and once again, NSFW warning lmfao!
Julian’s sprites on the other hand are noticeably tamer, including the one where he’s fucking strapped in leather. His only sexual (NSFW warning because its literally softcore tentacle porn WHICH, ONCE AGAIN, SHOULDN’T BE PUT IN A GAME AIMED AT 13YOS) CGs were also included months after Nadia and Asra received any of theirs.
Through all of the updates, people have constantly requested that Asra and Nadia’s sexualization be toned down, and time after time The Arcana just churned out fetishistic, hypersexualized content at an absurd rate, especially when compared to the one white love interest.
Oh, speaking of the one white love interest: Julian is based off of Jeff Goldblum (this is not spectulation - they p much bring it up at any given time) but like. If Jeff Goldblum was white. They base their favorite love interest off their supposed favorite man in the world but casually leave his skin tone behind. Lmao.
they also play favorites very obviously - in the prologue, Nadia and Asra have a romance paid scene each. Julian has a scene... that requires no coins. Julian was also the first LI to receive three CGs, two of them requiring no coins, while both Asra’s and Nadia’s first CGs were behind a paywall
Dana and Elle have been notoriously skittish about confirming or denying their characters’ ethnicities. After hyping for weeks on thearcanagame that they would confirm the character’s races they basically made a post that amounted to “well they’re not white lol!”
they only relented after the perfectly understandable outrage... and posted a thread about it on Elle’s twitter. Nothing on the actual thearcanagame blog. Anyway, here’s the thread. Note how there’s mention of Julian being Jeff Goldblum... but nothing about him and Portia being Jewish (or “fantasy Jewish” as it were).
The one time they did confirm their jewishness dana then backpedaled and said she shouldn’t have done that lol.
another fun tidbit of how well The Arcana handles race and how much it cares about feedback from fans: an ask was sent about an anon begging for Nadia to step on them. The blog, with the finesse of a bunch of horny dumbasses, didn’t just publish the ask, but approved of it (even though the fans of color had long, long, LONG been telling everyone not to fetishize Nadia into a “step on me kween” wet dream). People were outraged, of course, and the blog ~apologized~ and said they were still learning.... then a new chapter included a scene of Nadia stepping on the Apprentice. 🙃
not to mention elle, on their twitter, made a passive aggressive “women can be doms?” tweet, trying to twist it into a “yr oppressing women” angle (when the issue is that women of color are always constantly portrayed as aggressive and domineering)
Now for a wombo combo of racism and Elle’s fetishization of mlm:
the devs have spoken at length of how Julian’s and Asra’s relationship was quite unhealthy. In a paid scene in Asra’s route, they’re depicted as Asra being disgusted w Julian touching him+Julian following Asra to his shop when Asra refused his offer to go with him (aka julian... stalked him lmfao).
.......... this scene is promptly followed by a highly sexual scenario where Julian’s pain fetish is played up. Remember how this game is rated PG-13? Me neither. Asra’s previous disgust with Julian is also forgotten, for some reason (and by some reason i mean Elle wants to make them fuck w/o buildup or logic).
Then Asra’s route has yet another paid scene dedicated to Asrian, even though he’s supposed to not even like Julian! And be head over heels with the Apprentice! But Elle just has to make these two be entangled despite insisting their relationship was not good for either of them!
Now here’s the kicker: Julian doesn’t have any paid scenes related to his romance with Asra. Note how it’s one of the brown LIs whose route is highjacked by the white LI, but not vice versa. Hmmmmm.
Now, on the topic of Asra: thearcanagame has said repeatedly that he’s nb and uses he/him pronouns, and promised (since last year) that there would be dialogue where he speaks about his gender
as of the making of this post such dialogue still does not exist
so basically asra is the nb to dumbledore’s gay: anyone who just plays the game w/o keeping up with the official blog has no idea of what asra’s gender is supposed to be.
aka he’s not nb. he’s just a cis guy. the arcana just doesn’t want to put its money where its mouth is, i dont care if elle is nb themself. the team made a promise which has not been fulfilled yet and i suspect will not be.
instead, our introduction to canon nb characters is... these two.
By “these two” i mean neither vulgora nor valdemar are even fucking human, and stick out like sore thumbs with their monstruousness.
so our nb rep is... non-human villains. a few books later one of Nadia’s sisters with they/them pronouns shows up, but that’s too little too late on top of the fact that we should’ve known Asra was nb from the first to begin with. It’s a fucking embarrassment and an insult.
at least two villains are visibly disabled (Lucio’s missing arm and Volta’s blind eye+intentionally asymmetrical face). Julian’s eye doesn’t count because, spoilers, he’s not lacking an eye and even if he was it’d still be hidden behind a dashing eyepatch instead of grotesquely displayed as a sign of his lacking morality.
BUT WAIT! IT DOESN’T EVEN END THERE!
The Arcana Exploits The App Business Model To Price Their Full Game at $500, $1000 if the three extra routes make it out, and they never delivered their Kickstarter rewards:
tl;dr: you heard me
the original price per route was planned on being $1.99
they took that “subject to change” really seriously, it seems, because now each route, once the game is fully out, is estimated to cost around $170 each.
both those screenshots are taken from this post which explains in detail just how truly scummy all of The Arcana’s business model and decisions are: https://mysticmicrotransactions.tumblr.com/post/174308723344/dishonesty-from-the-arcana
the tl;dr is basically what’s listed in the beginning of this section, but other highlights from that post are: the use of addictive gambling mechanics such the Wheel of Fortune, and the dazzling calls to action in the new mini-game.
something that The Arcana supporters forget (or choose to ignore) is the fact that for a long, long time the game did not have the mini-game or the log-in rewards for coins. Players depended only on the gambling of the WoF or paying absurd amounts of money for the new chapters.
the devs went from playing the victims who were unable of controlling prices to (as spoken of in the link from mysticmicrotransactions) saying the making of the game (a pathetic little app game backed by a studio and a kickstarter) justifies the prices
they also gave people false hope about maybe changing the prices in the future, all while bleeding money from loyal players in “micro” transactions
the arcana literally added a $99.99 coins option on their latest update
in case it hasn’t sunk in yet: you can pay a hundred dollars upfront to the arcana, and you still will not have access to the whole game
there is no defense to this
none
“it’s free stop whining” let me explain:
“spend months on end accumulating fake currency or pay hundreds of dollars up-front to be able to play” is a scummy business model no matter how you look at it
if i can spend $60 upfront to play an AAA game there’s no excuse to demand more than that for a game with much smaller and, honestly, inferior content
the combination of there being already far and few games featuring lgbt characters and characters of color AND the little cult of personality set up by Dana and Elle makes people feel that spending money to support them is an acceptable expense.
it’s not
manipulating people into spending ridiculous amounts of money and then claiming “it’s their choice” is just scummy business, baby, and thats all the arcana does
the devs are brats who instead of admitting $500 is absurd for a game instead write petty little caricatures into their game - like, lbr: dana, elle, if i could afford diamonds in my hair i wouldn’t have even bothered with your shitstain of a game
despite bragging that ppl would get the full story w/o needing to pay, the paid scenes are pretty much required - the first few books of julian’s route have no romance without accessing any of the paid options. you dont even get so much as a kiss in without handing coins over. many, many people were baffled when julian had a teary break-up scene when from their perspective they hadn’t even started building a relationship.
wow that’s more than i ever thought it’d be
and i’ve been aware of their bullshit for near a whole year now!
i don’t have much of a note to end this on, other than: the arcana just isn’t even that good. it suffers from weak writing, pathetic character development and above all actually harmful content. do not try to argue with me on any of these points unless you’ve read all of that, because whatever you have to say i’ve likely mentioned before. if you still are that determined to yell at a me on the internet, please preface your argument with the phrase “I’m a pee pee poo poo man” so I know you’ve read everything in here. thank you!
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hey there. I totally get your frustration with endgame and the ending. I wasn't happy and I'm not happy how half the fandom tells me/us how we have to look at it. how we have to accept it. how the actors are happy with it and so should we. how the writers/producers - okay, I'm gonna leave them out of this seeing neither of them have any idea what they have done in the first place. after all they disagree on everything in every interview since the release. and isn't that funny? (1/?)
how even they are not on one side with the movie? what I despise most right now when it comes to this movie and this fandom is how we are treated. how we should tag our “hate” - which I think is funny since I didn’t hate the movie entirely. I hated pieces of it, like I did with past movies. I never liked doctor strange and even back then people were allowed to mention how casting cumberbatch for the part wasn’t the smartest idea they had. (2/?)
people want us to be happy with an ending that doesn’t make sense to us and they appreciate and are “allowed” to shove down our throats with their happy posts about a perfect ending. how is taking tony’s life after he finally married pepper and got a daughter is perfect? how is sending steve back to peggy after they did everything in their power to convince us he moved on from his past life…how is that perfect? (3/?)
you can probably tell I’m bitter. I really am. there’s not a day that goes by I’m not frustrated with what we got after ten years and 22 movies. however, I thought to myself what would it give me to cling on to this on my blog. would it change anything? I do know I’m not alone. I see so many people agreeing with this anger and it gives me some sort of peace. at the end of the day, though, it’s also important to see what it gives to you. (4/?)
talking to one of my closest friends about it and voicing my frustration with the end helps me more than keep posting about it. because in the end it won’t change a thing. the longer I surround myself with the frustration and anger and everything that comes with this not being what I had hoped for the more it pushes me from the fandom. of course everyone do as they please and I get people who want to get it out of their system. (5/?)
but maybe sitting down and look at what the constant repeating will give you in the end, realizing where it might end, could help finding some kind of peace for you. I’d hope for you to enjoy the parts of the fandom that still apply to you. I really like your blog and you as a person and I’d hate to see one of my fave people on this site to leave (I lost count, but this is the last)
whew! hi right back, that was quite something.
i feel ive answered this ask before, was that also you?
i mean, yeah. i know im not alone, i do. i see some of it on my dash, but not a lot, since ive had to block every marvel related tag just to keep from indulging in some light murder (just gentle ones, not to worry), and i really cannot fathom why ppl on the other side of the isle can’t do the same? or if you’re getting tired of the negativity? blacklist. or unfollow, block even.
as ive said a few times lately, ive been here 6 years. and this is the first time ive aired my frustration in any noticeable way. sure there’s been a few occasions where i got the salt shaker out, but that was in relation to much more limited subjects, and it was a post or two at the most.
ive been frustrated with previous movies too, but ive kept my trap shut, ive just gone on, kept my queue stocked, giffed the rare set and hid behind pretty solid content, no drama, not personality, no engagement.
and it’s not too bad, to just be anonymous, to look at the pretty, spread the pretty, do the occasional tag rant, and let that be it.
but.
when i came back after a long hiatus last autumn i started writing again. i posted a psa where i apologised for the fact that i would reblog my writing on this blog, i informed what tags i was gonna use, and for the first time i actually checked my follower count before and after. i lost 20 followers the first day. for posting writing. my writing. that was tagged to a ridiculous degree. and i saw a fair few more disappear before the exodus, and idk. i made me realise a thing or two.
one, people like my blog and the content i post
two, they’re only here for that content
three, to have a strictly themed blog will limit you horribly
four, my followers in general don’t give a shit about me, only about the content i post, which fair enough
five, i care about that, even if i don’t care about the follower count as such, i do care that the ones i have actually like me
six, which is completely absurd bc none of them knows me at all, i never show myself
but that was then. this is now. and the last weeks has made me realise the most important thing of all, i dont care any more. why the fuck should i? when my showing any kind of negativity about something that i did care a whole lot about but i no longer have?
endgame might have killed all my enthusiasm for the mcu, and it fucking hurts. it’s been a staple in my life for years, ive invested my time, my creativity, my love and my goddamn money, and ive got jack shit to show for it. i have a blog that i used to love, but is becoming alien to me, and that hurts too. ive invested a lot in this blog too, after i deleted a few of my other blogs a couple of years back, this is by far my biggest one. and im torn tbh.
do i want to leave it? no, i don’t. can i go back? honestly? i doubt it. if my love for the mcu is gone, well so is bucky. and lets be real, a sebastian stan blog with no bucky? i cannot really see it, can you?
but hey. ill make you a deal, all of you. ill ease up on the memes, i won’t stop bc i have a few scheduled, you guys blacklist or unfollow if you dont want to see them, and ill see about sprinkling in some sebastian content if i can find any i deem worth it.
also i don’t have any close irl friends to air my frustrations with, everyone here loved this crap, and that’s not really the discourse im looking for. but im happy for you, it sounds nice :)
hope you’re having a great day!
eta: i won’t leave btw. not unless the porn hub thing comes into fruition. just so you know, and if anyone cares. just sayin.
eta2: also? the fact that i, or we, are complaining and being pissed at the movie, but the opposition are attacking us for doing that? instead of, again, fucking blacklist and leave us the fuck alone? yeah, doesn’t help with the bitter. if y’all are so threatened by our arguments, maybe you should reevaluate your own, seems you’re trying a bit too hard there. i don’t want to take enjoyment from anyone, i envy you too much for that, but ffs, just leave me the fuck alone to deal with it. (that’s not @ you, that’s to them)
eta3: and thank you for saying im someone you like. but see? ive been trolling you all, im terrible. and i expect you don’t like me as much now anyways. but thank you, it was nice to hear nevertheless.
#anon#ask#answered#anti endgame#see? i still tag it ffs#long post#so so long#hey i get it#the positivity is killing me#i get where you're coming from#but it's getting a bit tiresome to have people just come in and tell me to get over it#no matter how well you mean it#im sorry that i cant just snap and make half my feelings go away#y'know bc that would take away any good ones too#good greif infinity war kinda sucks too doesn't it#wow
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