#anyways im logging off for the night
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I’m sorry but how can you be so proud of yourself for taking this moment to write an essay that boils down to “Don’t bother engaging in collective action, you should just do what makes you feel good with your friends :)”
Like, there is no world in which going to a concert advances a cause more than participating in a union or political party. How can you be so detached from historical and material reality? Nobody who advocates for political organization is saying “also stop spending time with your friends and interfacing with your community.”
Have fun limiting your “organizing” to shallow little playtime in nice cozy Switzerland while the rest of us try to address injustices and atrocities through collective action. I hope you decide to join us, eventually.
the essay does not actually boil down to this, at least this definitely isn't the point of it. this would be a very fair critique if that actually were what im trying to say but it just straight up isn't.
my essay focuses on how just saying to "get organized" or "join xy org" doesn't really help most people actually find their space in a movement, it's about how building friendships both within and outside the movement is important for setting foot in it and how people's morale tends to be forgotten in some political orgs (which i find sad) which leads to burnout and orgs that fall apart.
i think my essay makes it pretty clear that collective action is the goal but focuses on what's also important in the here and now, leaving people helpless and hopeless helps no movement.
i do a lot of things in radical spaces that i don't publicly talk about online, to just assume i have no actual involvement in any on the ground stuff just because you misread my essay and disagree with it is frankly insulting. you are free to disagree with me, i don't think anyone will ever fully agree on theory anyways, but at least try to be honest in your engagement with what i wrote.
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my haley brain rot is terminal, sorry
#stardew valley#haley stardew valley#haley stardew valley pls answer my dms#\(^ヮ^)/#allergy medicine makes me eepy... makes my hand wobbly#idk im tired#and my hands are shakin#if that wasnt obvious i guess? my brain dont be working sorry girls#haley could ficx me#mwah mwah#idk how to draw anymore#go easy on my handwriting writing with a mouse is not easy#(my handwriting just isnt great to begin with but um not the point)#anyways i just saw someone simping for baldi from baldi's basics so imma log off#night night sleep tight treat the bedbugs right
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so it’s customary on the night of december 5th for kids to leave their boots out on the windowsill for saint nicholas to leave them candy the next morning and i got roommate a bunch of her fav candy and this bottle of wine she’d wanted to get but couldn’t find anywhere and i went to sneakily take out a boot of hers to place in the windowsill and fill up with candy whilst not waking her up and the shoe cabinet made THE LOUDEST 💥💥💥 BANG 💥💥💥 ive literally ever heard and i just stood there silent. heard her clearly shift in bed bc i think the entire building actually thinks there was a gunshot. stood there for another 15 seconds. turned around and went back to bed
#the fuckin cartoon character ass person that i am. anyway setting my alarm extra early so im up before her for sure#however the small issue with that is it’s nearing dangerous hours of the night so GOOD NIGHT#failed saint nicholas logging off 🫡
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#supposed to log good things#most of day was negative feelings and sadness#then. i remember feeling good#and then. tthe good went away#rreplaxed with the usual self doubt and loathing#the feelings of undesirability#the wish that i was. attractive in any way to anyone close to me that anyone wanted to. touch me#that i wasn't horrifically gross and disgusting#do the people who hold me do it out of pity? am i really so awful#pictures get a lot of praise#sometimes#less so lately#maybe the novelty of my personality has worn off#maybe seeing how broken i am#such a shambling wailing mess of a girl#....has made people realize how ugly i am#i don't know. its hard to care most nights#I'm supposed to feel better in the mornings#i don't usually#I used to#now i just feel..... dead inside#like a walking corpse#some part of me wants to make that reality#sigh.#anyway.#im sorry you had to read this whoever you are that's made it this far#it's a cry for help but my discord status says don't message me so it's. probably not gonna get much lol#.....i guess uh. if you've read this far and do want to say something you can take this tag in particular as a one time pass to do so#....i make no guarentees I'll respond but i will guarentee that i won't kill myself. at least not tonight or even any time this week
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#OURGH SUNDAY NIGHT..... WHY YOU GOTTA DO ME LIKE THIS#i feel like deleting all my socials and dropping off the face of the internet#like realistically im aware that its whatever is wrong with my brain talking#but good lord it's not like i would be missed#problem being that going down that path can only leads me to the one logical conclusion#(being that i could just die and no one would care for long)#amd no one wants that#ANYWAY im logging off now before i do something stupid#perso
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She would not fucking do that
#logging off for the night ive reached my limit of ppl not getting female characters#anyways cassandra cain would not have a skincare routine#she would probably fall into a mud puddle and then not shower for a week or something. genuinely what are some ppl on#im letting the negativity get to me though so im going to bed 👍#blah
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not even gonna throw my hat into the barbie (2023) discourse because at this point, everyone has said what i wanted to say and more eloquently at that. (my feelings on that movie are very well known to anyone that's followed me for some time now btw) HOWEVER, i can't believe you can point out that greta gerwig is THE first filmmaker ever to ever get their first 3 films (solo directorial efforts to be more exact) nommed for best picture and that it's a record that 2 of the nominees in best director haven't achieved (for ref: scorsese didn't get a best picture nom til raging bull while nolan didn't score a bp nom til inception. funny enough, tdk was a HUGE part of the reason why the academy decided to expand the number of slots in bp from 5 to 10.) and you have ppl in the youtube comments accusing you of belittiling their accomplishments to lift greta up all bc you stated a damn FACT. youtube, like twitter, has the same exact kind of "oh so you like pancakes?? then you must HATE waffles" energy that i find insufferable, sdhfjkgjh.
#i also want to like#preface this by saying that i LOVED the movie like loved it to the point where i have 3 diff kinds of barbie merch#LOVED margot's performance and imo this movie wouldn't have worked as well as it did had it not been for greta#however i do think the reaction to their snubs was/is incredibly blown out of proportion considering that margot got a nom as a producer of#the movie while greta got a screenplay nom along w/ noah baumbach#and tbf given that best actress is an emma vs lily race at this point i'm not too shocked margot decided to push more for producer instead#esp since most of her campaign has been related more to her work as a producer on the film than her acting recently#anyway i need ppl on youtube to stop misinterpreting my comments!!! i mainly pointed that bit abt greta out not only bc its MASSIVE esp#when you consider it's a record that two of THE most well known filmmakers of all time havent been able to achieve#but also to point out how like ridiculous this whole discourse has been sdghfjghjkerjth#anyway im logging off for the night hope everyone is having a good one <3#be quiet drea
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#my emotions r so fuckeddddddd rn i hateeeeee that i have to end my night in a bad mood cause that just means a night full of nightmares#abd sleep paralysis:(#lol i guess i got to angry at everyone after being RAWLY happy abd excited now im just experiencing possibly the worst serotonin drop#imaginable like fuck i should have just logged off lol#fuck :(#anyways proud of them i jusy wish the reception was better now im being haunted by demons lol
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I think a 10yo just got attached to me in genshin and if this keeps up its gonna make me not wanna play cuz I don't wanna come off as mean if I have to tell her to give me some space, but I wanna play in peace ya know?
#she came into my world i think saturday night or sunday morning. thats how long i played. and chatted for a minute then left#then the second i logged on this morning she immediately hopped in and started calling me Ed#and she was asking questions and im polite so i answered and she was like you can ask me questions#and since she asked how old i was i asked back snd she was all uh um well im 10#and thats fine to me cuz im not gonna be a weirdo anyway#but then she asked if i had a wife and i said no im not interested in girls so thats probably when she was sure i was a safe adult#and someone else joined and she dm'ed me that she didnt like him and right after he left so did she#and when i opened my world back up later she immediately popped in again#and wanted me to go to whatever a playstation party is while i was doing a quest and i had to politely tell her no twice#and then it segwayed into material hunting with her so i could still do something productive in game at least#but at one point she called me her bff and started talking about how she just got a phone#and im worried she may end up asking for my number or something. like hell nah#like. im all for being friendly and playing a game together and casual chatting. again. i have no intention of EVER being a weirdo#but shes coming off as immediately REALLY attached and i dont need to be going through shit like that again#ive had people get REALLY attached to me in some games previously and not leave me alone while im trying to play#and then they blow up at me when i ask for some space. so i dont wanna deal with that again#especially from a 10yo. i really dont wanna upset anyone by rejecting them or asking for space#but sometimes its too much and i just wanna do what i want in the game#and i kinda really dont wanna have a 10yo tailing me the whole time i wanna play#especially cuz shes 10 ya know? friends are cool but im a little too old to be a bff to her imo#i think i'll just try keeping my world closed when i log off so i wont log on and she immediately pop in first thing#i dont wanna block her off completely cuz i dont mind if she comes by every once in a while. just not all the time ya know?#personal
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me & tumblr user astrophage (whom i dont follow but hope youre doing well if you see this) singlehandedly keeping the andyweirse canon url boat afloat
#blah blah blah#the way no one cares but me#anyways im logging off for the night sweet dreams (its 8pm)
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was getting a twelve pack of beer a bad idea? probably. am i enjoying it though? absolutely.
#im just glad i didn't end up getting the vodka like id originally been thinking#bc i would've ended up actually getting drunk on school nights#can't actually get drunk with beer bc i get full before i can drink enough to actually get drunk#but i am enjoying the feeling of killing brain cells by mixing it with benadryl#could this be the start of a bad habit? possibly#but im not too worried for now bc it's only beer#now if i start cooking barbiturates in the microwave ill know ive hit bottom#but ive got 4 more years to go so im saving that for later. preferably my last year#ive got a list of substances and a general timeline so i don't end up empty handed with another two years left to go#i hope this blog doesn't end up turning into a drug log over the next four years lol#well if thst happens ig i can just create a sideblog for my mental breakdowns#if folks have recommendations for stuff that might help im open to suggestions#well besides cigarettes bc i am currently fighting the urge to start smoking with everything i have in me#bc i know for a fact I'll get hooked right away and it'll ruin my life by making me light up a cig every few minutes#I'd be taking smoke breaks every hour between classes#I've only smoked like twice in my life and i cannot stop thinking abt how good it would feel to start smoking#just. its not even the nicotine it's just so easy to romanticize self destruction with cigarettes yknow#it feels like you're actually doing something. like it makes the suffering more tangible or something#idk maybe i might try it and realize it's actually nothing like i kept thinking and be turned off by it#but with the way i cant stop obsessing over them when i haven't even started? im not taking my chances lol#anyway. feel free to ignore the mental breakdown lol this will definitely keep happening more in the future#alcohol tw#mine#vent
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#had a complete pathetic meltdown over the fact that i simply exist#im just gonna log off for a while. i dont feel like a real human being right now#anyways. not that it matters#night is an absolute mess on main
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you're a fucking pussy and I hope a dog bites you for it
Well, you know what they say...
(I pop my collar and turn to the crowd)
You are what you eat.
(Everyone starts cheering. Anon is eviscerated and turns to a pile of ash on the ground. Obama is there.)
#okay but is this because i said i didnt appreciate people bringing their untrained dogs to hobby lobby and letting them bark loudly???#what an odd response lmao.#i love getting anon hate for having relatively normal opinions.#anyways. im logging off for the night to go snuggle with my dog whom i DO NOT take to retail stores or restaurants#because i know how to be a responsible dog owner :)#thanks for the ask! now log off :D
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Idk how tf I've been able to function today since I got like 4 hours sleep last night
#i for sure thought id pass out cold today but no#weird..#anyways im gonna sleep like a log night night#(was writing this as april sent an ask so i drafted it for a minute so i could answer. im actually off to bed now lol)
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SHITTTTT I'M STUCK ON MY PHONE AGAIN
#moss mumbles#im meant to be RESTING#and being on social media is NOT resting#bc social media is actually VERY TIRING#anyway if anyone sees me online b4 tomorrow morning fucking yell at me honestly#i guess this counts as a goodnight post bc im logging off for the night#i don't actually plan on sleeping yet tho. i wanna watch tv
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😭
#sowwy to my friends who sent me asks tonight#i know i always do this but#i had class til 7:30 then my roommate was cooking dinner so i didn't want to be rude#since she was making fancy whole foods salmon#but i got like 2 hrs of sleep last night so im gonna have to log off for the night#but hoping you will see me tomorrow!#or maybe even when im in bed if i don't conk out#but im really happy abt the asks i got and i wanna answer SO badly#so thank u to those who sent them!#i wanna get better at answering stuff reliably even if it takes a bit so u WILL hear from me#*holds glock at self*#but thats all ily i sorry i tired#i'd honestly stay up to answer but daytime is more fun anyway#but i love u and i'll see u soon!#caitie blabs
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