#anyways im hurting my own feelings here.
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asthedeathoflight · 11 days ago
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I cant use the imagery of shitty harsh fluorescent lighting on the subway in my fanfiction bc Lin literally already does it in the fucking musical which really sucks because if theres one thing I love to do its rail on shitty fluorescent lighting.
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hajihiko · 1 year ago
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Trust and belief and trust and belief and trust and belief and-
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lunarharp · 9 months ago
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What led to this (orufrey comic, cw an uncomfortable/creepy scene)
#witch hat tag#orufrey#er.... i'm too tired to have anything to say..i worked several days on this.#wait.. didn't i say just recently here that i probably wouldn't ever depict 'what if alaira is qifrey's sort-of ex'. What's going on#i don't even remember deciding to draw this..it's all a blur..i'm not sure why i WOULD decide to draw delicate scenes in my head#that i wouldn't really want to share with anyone/discuss so why did i draw it...#some part of me really really wants to draw things that are more and more true to myself...#maybe because of my alienation with most romance/shipping/dynamics the rest of the world depicts.#orufrey really is perfectly suited to me - what i read in the text and what is in my head. well anyway#i am TIRED of drawing poses and angles and..maybe now i will actually take a break from drawing bc of the tediousness of Angles#btw it really is a 'stretch of time' . . . assuming witches graduate age 18-20#well orufrey are canonically 30-ish. they've only had agott around for presumably about TWO years (?) bc she took the test age 10#and it feels like oru moving in/unknown atelier acquisition/building (?) .. i guess that could be a year or so before agott at most#(she was the first disciple) so... ????????? What about the other 7 or so years ?!?!?!!?!?! Unemployed Brimhat Hatred era#that time is very nebulous. after qifrey went to the tower i feel like it's been implied he and oru drifted apart a little.#certainly they didn't live together at first... no way. that doesn't feel like how it is based on things oru has said about becoming Eye#idk. I'm tired now. i don't usually think of alaira as necessarily qifrey's ex and this being how things went in that 'sliver of time'.#i usually prefer the idea that they have their first kiss with each other in their 30s cause That's Just The Orufrey Lifestyle#just felt like making a more relatable alternative view of my own Cai Orufrey Canon one time. btw im a big monoshipper and it hurt a bit#let's leave it there. this is surely the most i've worked on a 'single' art - though now i realise just how much longer the fic took :')
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xerith-42 · 5 months ago
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cheriekos · 21 days ago
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these are super, super informal and unorganized thoughts but god these panels are haunting me so:
it’s interesting to finally be reading some of the issues that i assume influence general fanon perception of damian because there’s so much emphasis on the actions against tim (and like yeah fair, fucked up let’s not move past that) but also there’s little moments sprinkled throughout that made me go “…this is a child. This is a whole child.”
like idk man! These two pieces of dialogue are very striking to me! “See? I can be useful!” And “Look at me, Mother!”. Maybe it’s just because I work with kids but i read this and very clearly hear a child’s voice! And sometimes i think because a lot of people get caught up in the “formal” way that damian speaks that people forget he’s a kid. A very competent, highly trained kid. But he’s a kid.
Again, i don’t think Damian’s actions can be brushed off just because he’s a kid, and (within the content of the Morrison run), has had some fucked up shit going on. But like - for fanon, I’m just begging folks to strike the balance between talking about Damian being held accountable for his actions and also understanding that in this point in time he’s like maybe nine or ten-years-old. Idk! I’m tired of reading analysis and fan fiction that absolutely crucifies Damian and doesn’t try to find the nuance at all.
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courtillyy · 7 days ago
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moodboard: fred x wesley
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bunnihearted · 1 month ago
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im sorryyyyy i dont wanna be a mean bitch but genuinely i feel like im the one of only ppl who are actually alone bc i keep seeing all of these ppl complain abt how alone they are then they post a bunch of pics with their friend groups and they go on trips and celebrate their birthdays with friends and im like 😦?????????? im ngl i lowkey feel betrayed bc like yes sure we can relate on "feeling lonely" but ig at the end of they day im so sorry im not saying this to gatekeep loneliness or whatever but like u just cannot relate to what it feels like to not only feel lonely but also be alone and not even have people who want to spend moments with u. and feel and be like on your birthday you're alone. on your insta you're alone. irl u dont have ppl who even want to make plans with u. i know i know that everyone's loneliness is valid and you can still have partners and friends and feel lonely and that is valid i really do think so. idk i just feel so fkn alienated from everyone, including people who say theyre lonely - bc they still have ppl to talk to and ppl to be with and ppl who wants to be with them and consider them their friend lol.... i dont have anyone to take pics with or have groupchats with or go to concerts with or go for walks with and i dont have anyone to message abt stupid things or blah lahblahblah it doesnt even matter atp
#and like i am really really lucky that i have one person i talk to on a regular basis and have been for almost two years#and that he stills wanna be friend even if hes seen my insane person rants abt him on here#like genuinely i'd prob slowly wither and die without having had experienced talking to him#ig its not even only other ppl it is my avpd#if i just send a message thats like casual everyday talk between friends#im first freaking out abt it for hours bc i obviously deserve to DIE for even bothering them with a message#so even if i long for certain things its like well yeah i cant do that bc i deserve to die and im worthless useless and a bother and burden#and why would i force someone to waste time on me when they have ppl out there who are actually worth their time#i dont know#i just feel sad bc i checked insta and someone who talks abt being alone often posted pics of them celebrating their bday with friends 😭#and ofc everyone are valid to feel what they feel!!!! i know that!!!!!! it just hurts selfishly lmaooo#bc i am lonely but i will spend my bday crying in my room alone#like i have been for the past years#not even my own family wants to spend it with me#i talk a little abt plans w my mom and she acts like im holding her hostage 😭😭😭#so idk she'll prob agree but it wont feel great bc i know she doesnt really wanna spend time w me#anyway...... we're all alone as i get to hear all thw time#its just that most ppl who are alone also have partners and friends and family members or even a therapist haha 👍#i dont care tho its all good ^-^#also one of my old bully friends is marrid and just got her baby and she messaged me like hii how are u?#like what do u even want me to say.... cool... u have traveled the world u have found love u have made a ton of new friends#while still having your old friend group (that i got dumped by) and u even have your own kid#i am a fkn loser who should just die tbh#so yeah im doing great hahahha just gonna kms real quick 😸🙌🏻#but idc tho 😁
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mr-stottlemonk · 8 months ago
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made a timeline for monk tv for the folks cause it makes no sense sometimes.
[more in the tags]
[update: stottlemeyer's timeline found here]
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spaghett-onaplate · 3 months ago
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i need to pack my bags and get the hell out of frown town
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whorejolras · 5 months ago
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am i the only one who thinks celebrating pride month in the middle of an ongoing genocide is a bit................... 😒
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dinosauring130 · 2 months ago
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You know you have a problem when you start RELATING to the song Waving Through A Window
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willczek-art · 11 months ago
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~* Late Happy Holidays and early Happy New Year! :D *~
Biggest success of the year? I got my Bachelor's degree and the animation I made as the final project was even used by NerdyPup Games in their IndieCade Festival nomination! :D
So much has happened! Eraser stamps, commissions, contests and collabs, I got into a new school and even started a secret side-project with friends! This year really had it all! :P
Thank you for sticking around! :D
[Template by taxkha]
Links to previous years (2016-2022) under the cut c:
[2022]
[2021]
[2020]
[2019]
[2018]
[2017]
[2016]
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asfdhgsdkjhgb · 19 days ago
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had quite the night drive earlier this evening.
#just me rambling again#web weaving#(?)#uh. one of my friends who is out of town for college was visiting and i got to see him and our friends and the only core member of that#group of people missing was my ex girlfriend who you may also know of as my wonderful wife#who has I assume been very busy with their own life things but has also barely and very sparsely had any hint of communication with any of#us within the past few months which I've been realizing very recently sort of hurts my feelings because we used to be so close and#they had been saying that they would be constantly making sure we still were in each other's lives. but then very quickly have#seemingly dropped off the face of the earth#anyways. I was driving aforementioned friend who is in town back home (family home not college obv) and when i was finally going back#towards my house afterwards my Google maps finally lead me to an area that i was more familiar with driving and i got to an#intersection and it was telling me to take a right to go home but i knew that i knew the way perfectly from that intersection to my#ex girlfriend / best friend / wifes familys house from all of the times I've gone that direction through the past years and so#i turned off my directions and i took a left towards their house#not super sure why but my brain and body just knew it was something i needed to do and so i went and drove down their street and cried#a lot the whole time and then drove myself home from their house once again following a super familiar path#and idk im still feeling very emotional about it. the fact that halloween by noah kahan was the first song to play on Spotify#after i made that left turn im sure didnt help (knowing that i miss them so much and am going to be leaving this area myself#soon enough here and there's been an open offer for a while now that they are welcome to follow and live with me once they get their degree#(and also um. halloween is next week lol)#idk i just havent felt the full force of how badly i miss having them in my life until tonight. when i was around this person i could feel#our souls singing in harmony. i genuinely cannot describe the feelings of our relationship in words i feel like only vaguely abstract art#could communicate the connection that was forged between us and the level of understanding and knowing#something not dissimilar to looking into the sun directly or trying to describe a vivid color to someone who is completely blind#something about the way the entire universe breathes in unison and everything around us are all pieces of the same stars#sigh#i miss my wife tails i miss her a lot /ref
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rainingincale · 25 days ago
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lucyvaleheart · 9 months ago
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#so first of all I'm fine.#second of all I don't know if that's a lie or not but like. by some stretch it's gotta be true#so it doesn't count as a lie to my code of honor.#anyway. I keep fucking losing it y'all#I.... even now on depression medication I'm still breaking down what feels like fucking daily#it's just in different ways#crying harder than I have in a while and feeling more panicked about than like I'm releasing emotion#it's more distant but for some reason it's. easier to conceptualize uh#....tw here for like self harm and suicidal thoughts don't read the rest of these if you don't wanna see that#some reason it's easier to conceptualize the idea of. cutting myself? it never felt like a possibility before#id think about it and know I'd never do it. but. now....#.....i can't help but find myself wondering if it *would* feel good. to hurt. to see my own blood#........there are so many people who's lives I've touched that would be saddened if I were gone but#it's.....harder to use that to ground myself. to pull myself away from the thoughts of just......#..........stopping#ending everything. i dunno. fuck.#....a few weeks ago I found myself wanting to roll out of the moving car and could feel myself able to#reach for the seatbelt buckle and the door handle#........im not okay and honestly I don't know if I care#sometimes I do but when I feel like this it feels impossible TO care#it feels so distant. i feel so distant. I feel so nothing and so bad at the same time#i feel so fucking ugly#so much self hatred rearing it's head where I thought I'd gotten past it#i have a therapy appointment at the end of March and I'm not sure if that's soon enough.
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vse-kar-vem · 10 months ago
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why are we having queerbaiting discourse as a fandom in the year of our lord 2024 😭😭 we're just as bad as twitter oh my god
#real people cant queerbait. jance arent queerbaiting bokris arent queerbaiting either .#we have no right to know their sexualities nor do they have any obligation to tell us before kissing a man. they could be fully straight#they could be playing gay chicken 24/7 (they are) and that still isnt queerbaiting !#what they choose to put in that photoshoot 'authentic' or not is their choice#its so stupid cuz like i thjnk its such a nothingburger of discourse 😭 neither of the ships at play here are in direct conflict with#each other#literally for everyone on both sides : dont like just block#i dont think anyone in this fandom has malintent or is tryinf to put any other members down on purpose#+ we all have our own preferences when it comes to shipping#also i think stuff thats getting said is getting so misinterpreted and magnified beyond original intent that its making everything such a#largwr deal than it is#anyways! my own personal gripe: related to my orher post#why are we babying grown men lord 😭 i would also LOVE a jannacejure photoshoot but im sure its not hurtful for tjem if they dont do it 😭#like theyre grown men not elementary schoolers who need to be told theyre special#sorry that was a little more confrontational! wow we have really descended into disxourse today havent we#what im trying to say is this: i have beloved mutuals on both 'sides' and hold no hard feelings at all we're all entitled to our opinions#and i think it's really stupid to be drawing lines in the sand like this around issues that dontt even matter#ok! im done#vee rambles#ok yeah ive gone back and read all the discourse and my conclusion remains the same. i thjnk some people are reading a leetol too much into#things#but i think both sides have valid points#whatever we shall take it as it comes
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