#anyways im going to bed im exhausted
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Visit Tumblr Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
In 2020, Tumblr had 29.4 million users in the US.
Text
i truly dont write enough chris and drew huh
#i say as i have third fic waiting to be finished and at least one more request with them#and i might have another idea jotted down i dont remember#still four isnt enough i need more. MORE#more grumpy/sunshine tol/smol idiot/idiot dynamics#sigh. i love them#hopefully i can finish the wip at some point i really liked the idea for it mmmm#anyways im going to bed im exhausted#sorry no fics tonight i didnt even try to write im just simply too tired i cant focus#night is an absolute mess on main
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
making ghosts, ch 9
#WHAT DID I SAY#I PROMISED . AND HERE IT IS#even tho it actually almost killed me#anyways it's near 5am#im exhausted#im falling asleep as im writing these tags#so i'm just gonna shut up and go to bed#really hope u guys like it#despite being the longest one yet..#happy new year again!!#love u all very much#fic: making ghosts#jegulus#james potter#regulus black#sirius black#jegulus fanfiction#marauders
89 notes
·
View notes
Text
dennis... he is so interesting... silly, even...
to be worshipped is one thing. to be worshipped is a given. who wouldn't worship him? he leaves and the gang changes because who are they without him? he comes back and the gang chooses him because why wouldn't they? and the d.e.n.n.i.s system and being a golden god and demonstrate value, so they only see what you present and not what you are. sex is what you are. you are a god. see past the golden god and there's nothing there. engage physically. that's it, that's you. engage physically and they won't ask too many questions. nurture dependence, they want you. they worship you. they need you. neglect emotionally, once they start to get too close and worship and obsession tips into what you think is love. inspire hope, so they'll leave and come back again, because you decide what goes and what doesn't. and nothing goes. you are golden and perfect. they will never leave.
then. separate entirely. you leave first. they will cling onto you and kneel at your altar and miss the perfect version of you, and you will only be known as the golden god and you will only be remembered for sex because that is what you are.
and that's all you need. you need worship, you need obsession. you don't need to be loved, or known, because what does that bring you? to be known is to see past the facade. to be known means presenting every bit of yourself, every flaw and imperfection that you try to scrub and dye and push away before it becomes too obvious. and what do you do, when someone knows you, and they don't like what they see?
what then?
#wow i was about to go to bed then i started thinking too hard about dennis now i am here#i should sleep i need sleep#instead i am here!#im sorry for this#i dont think it makes any sense bc its almost 2am im delirious and exhausted#anyway! goodnight!#dennis reynolds#iasip#iasip analysis#macdennis#dennis system#glenn howerton#its always sunny in philadelphia#insane ramblings
68 notes
·
View notes
Text
My overheated ass going back to my house when it's summer
#im too white for this kind of weather 😔😔#my body still thinks its in 16th century Germany like 'wir mussen mehr Hitze machen weil morgen es ist Kalt'#like no bestie. im aware my ancestors had to brave the horrible german weather and never knew temperatures over 20°C#but we've been living in South America for generations. please get with the program#...i mean i guess one part of my family came from the South where it's cold so that explains a lot but.#anyway. heat exhaustion is real and its going to get you. ive been lying in my bed dissociated for like an hour#youtube save me
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
#alas....#talkys#i love using this specific in bed smunker image when im sick bc i made it when i was really sick last year#anyway im about to go attempt sleep i feel rly exhausted and the coughing was turned up to 11 today#⬅️ he will toss and turn for 5 hrs until he finally passes out
55 notes
·
View notes
Text
one thing abt being disabled/chronically ill that some people don’t get is that sometimes body maintenance that ensures you have the absolute minimum amount of function can also be something that takes away a lot of control and autonomy. you can argue till the cows come home that making those decisions to try and help yourself (or realistically to try to make sure things aren’t worse than they already are) is something that exhibits control and autonomy and stuff, but they can be so limiting in practice because they’re things that take up so much time but have to be done to do anything else
#i have to sleep a lot. i’m at the point where functioning requires 8 hours of sleep if not more#I should probably be getting 10+ but i’m a student and i work so 8 is the minimum. but then also getting ready for bed is a whole process s#the whole thing can take 10-12 hours depending how much im sleeping. just to make sure i can do anything#that is time in my day i cannot use for anything else. it’s not ‘oh but i can push through it’ because i can’t without spending the next da#lightheaded and nauseous and vaguely dizzy and with such intense brain fog I can’t think with my fatigue so bad i genuinely don’t know how#get myself to work a lot of days. my abled peers don’t have to deal with this at all. they have unlimited study time if they want to#and yeah it is a choice i’m making that’s true i could just not do. except i would lose my job and fail out of college because i would not#be able to get to classes or do my homework or think. but being told ‘but you are making choices about your life’ when i have lost so much#of what i used to be able to do because i am spiralling down and continuing to get worse is so.#literally last year i would wake up at 6:30 and then go to school till 3 and then go to my internship until 10 and get home at 11 and be in#bed anywhere from midnight to two in the morning and then wake up the next day and do it all again. i graduated with a 3.9 gpa and made it#into my top college while dealing with my cancer symptoms and then the two surgeries about it#but now i lose half my day to just making sure i can get out of bed. i can’t go anywhere because my body is physically too exhausted#any extra time goes into doing homework or occasionally time to myself#not decimating my health by doing minimum body care responsibilities isn’t freeing. occasionally i have a good day which is freeing but tha#usually goes into just. other things outside class or work or eating. I don’t go do something for myself or go do something fun on good day#because I still can’t. good days just mean i don’t want to lie down on the pavement when i’m going somewhere#I just. I don’t magically have control over my life because i try to get enough sleep. i lose half my day to doing that and ultimately it’s#just a bodily function that would have to happen anyway#this is a vent post im just having a really hard time right now because it feels like im in exponential decline. it was nowhere near this#bad last semester. my grades are tanking and i have no free time because anything outside of sleep is either work or school#vent tw#yall can rb this just ignore my tags completely#disability#chronically ill#i keep trying to explain to people how pots works because that’s all logical but there’s no way to explain what it’s doing to my body or ho#i feel all the time. the last time i felt this bad was when i had a bad flu or immediately after surgeries because i don’t react well to#anesthesia and always come out of them feeling like shit. and now i just feel like this all the time and it’s only getting worse#I can’t even stay up late anymore because my body feels like it isn’t counting the sleep even if I get 8 hours#I can deal if I have a free day the day after but that just leaves Friday and Saturday nights and I usually still have to do homework
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
you know when you can sense that someone is annoyed with you but they won't say anything, so you try to inquire or offer alternatives to what you think the problem might be, but they don't respond to any of them like ??? okay????? idk what you want ?????
#my friend is staying over and while i consider myself an ambivert she's very extroverted#and im so exhausted and drained today and she really wanted to do something but i was honestly falling asleep the second we got home#bc ive been up and studying and socialising and doing chores for 12 hours#and i get it - i want to be a good host and spend quality time with my friend bc i love her#i offered to watch a movie or have a snack or something at like 8 but she responded very non committally#and then at 9:30 she asked to go to the store and watch a movie and i had to be like 'i need to go to bed in an hour'#and i can tell that she's annoyed or disappointed but idk what she expects me to do#bc none of my offers seem interesting#and i want to indulge her and i want to watch a movie with her but i have to study tomorrow#bc i HAVE TO pass my exams#anyways im just confused bc people wont communicate directly
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
HAHAHAHA HELLO IM BACK FROM ANOTHER UNSCHEDULED HIATUS IM SO SORRY YALL
but i promise this time i had good reason becaaaaauuuuuse
I GRADUATED UNIVERSITY! :D
(that's me on the right, i don't often post pictures of myself but this is a special occasion)
anyways i am FINALLY done with school, i took a few summer classes just to finish up some spare credits, and at the same time i was working my summer job and ALSO doing a two-month internship with the Smithsonian so. I've been Very Busy.
And now I'm currently on vacation to visit my mother in Thailand so i am STILL busy, buuuuuut i wanted to jump back on here because once I'm back in the US i will be COMPLETELY free to blog and make gifs and all the usual stuff that I've missed so much!!!!!
.........and also watching good omens season 2 on the plane ride over here may or may not have given me severe and massive brain rot so expect a huge wave of gomens content on this blog in the following weeks lmaoooo
#i feel so bad for being away so long#i tend to drop off the face of the earth without warning but that's also because i have massive Depression brain and it's a force of habit 💀#but like i genuinely cannot express how this has quite literally been the BUSIEST summer of my life#like i've never worked so much before#there was a solid week where i was going to bed at like 6pm because i was so exhausted coming home from my internship#anyways it's night time here so I'm gonna sleep and in the morning my theme is getting a MASSIVE revamp >:)#an.....ineffable revamp.....one could say >:)))))#yeah the second im back home with my computer im churning out 5000 aziracrow gifs#i need something to help cope with the s2 ending because HOLY hell#okay that's enough rambling in the tags gootnight#emily.txt
41 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#vent#vent post#cw negative#Seven’s Public Diary#wish i wasn’t so fucking worthless and useless and stupid and selfish and mean#i am just so goddamn sick of my own bullshit. but i never change#i’m so tired of being weighed down by my 56492 mental illnesses. i don’t like being like this#my sleep schedule is so fucked up again and im tired of this constant cycle#this constant fight and endless effort to stay on a goddamn routine#all i want for christmas is a goddamn consistent sleep schedule#i hate sleeping through the day and being up all night but it’s like my body was fucking built for that or something#i don’t like it!! i want to be an early bird who goes to bed at 8pm and wakes up before the sun rises!!! but im the exact opposite!!!!!!!#i wish i just didn’t need to sleep at all. that would be the ideal. so many problems would be solved.#no i Really wish i just had the ability to fall asleep and wake up whenever i actually Want To instead of my body calling the shots#fell asleep at 9 this morning and im so mad that i didn’t get up when i was woken up at 11#a 2hr nap would’ve been fine and i would’ve made it through the rest of the day and been able to fucking sleep again tonight#but noOOooOoOo i had to give in to the allure of my warm cozy bed and fall back asleep for 9 more goddamn hours#now once again im too awake and rested to be able to go back to sleep. but once morning rolls around im gonna be exhausted again#and i’ll either give in and attempt to take a ‘nap’ and it’ll turn into a 12hr sleep again#or i’ll have to like. walk laps around the fucking house just to keep myself awake through the day#and i’ll be super irritable as a result and make everyone around me miserable too#but everyone is already beyond fed up with my issues and behavior. rightly so i guess. so i lose either way#god there was so much stuff i was gonna/supposed to do today#i don’t know how much longer they’re gonna put up with me being such a deadbeat#you think that’d like. motivate me to get my shit together or something but no. i’m addicted to being unconscious i guess#sleep feels so fucking good. until i wake up. which is funny bc it’s all nightmares and stress dreams anyway. why do i even enjoy sleeping#i guess bc for the first few hours after waking up i experience some modicum of relief from my other mental illnesses’ symptoms#like a soft reset.#and it’s the Only thing that gets rid of my migraines so god forbid i get one of those bc then i Have to sleep regardless of the time of day#anyways! :) that’s enough whining for one vent post. time to go do something productive
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
man I'm gonna have to move pretty soon and it is not putting me in the greatest of moods
#ive been ignoring that its something thats definitely going to happen but whenever i think about it i get just incredibly upset#like i really don't know how many 'fresh starts' i got in me cause its really wearing me out#i dont get to have any lasting friendships bc im not good at keeping in touch especially if its long distance#and it is Exhausting why put the effort into making friends and meeting people at all if in 2 years you lose everyone anyway#sigh whatever its super late so i should probably just go to bed and stop thinking abt this before i start to spiral or smth...gnite <3#kae.txt
22 notes
·
View notes
Note
as a result of using a bsd character randomizer.. platonic kyouka & kenji + "Thank you for always listening to me." ?
oh i love these two
"Thank you. For always listening to me." Kyouka said softly. Kenji paused, "Well- of course I'd listen!! You're my friend!" She smiled faintly, replying as he returned a bright smile, "I'm glad. That we're friends."
#people sleep on their bestie bond honestly#kyouka bsd#kenji bsd#bsd#my writing#ask games#asks#zukkaoru#anyway im like half asleep so it's very short BUT !!! the sillies#maybe i should go back to bed... im going out to a dance today i dont wanna be exhausted the whole time#someday...... i will write a longer fic ab these two#solving a crime all by themselves#and ranpo comes and picks them up after#and takes them to a candy store
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
lying on my bed at 6pm bc it's finally the weekend and the last two weeks have been some bullshit
#the first week of September not only did i have a cold but i was also in a mad frenzy to mail my grad school application to korea#within the VERY short window in which they accept them#and i had to run all over while I was sick (I wore a mask everywhere believe me I did not WANT to go out) for a day to get it done#and it was sooooooo expensive to mail quickly hoooolllyyyy shit#i had a friend over last weekend which was fun but exhausting#then sunday night after a relaxing day i check the tracking link for my application papers and it said they couldn't deliver it#but there were 2 updates one said the address was wrong one said they couldn't get access to the building to deliver#SO ANYWAY I freaked out and didn't know what to do and by time I put my phone away and went to bed it was sooooo late#and I spent Monday/Tuesday being worried 24/7 and going back and forth between the university and UPS on email/phone to get it sorted#thank god I got a delivery notification super late on Tuesday before I went to bed and the school updated my application by Weds am#so I can sleep in peace for now#but ......god#why does the plot always have to be thick like pleaseeee#so anyway Im taking this weekend to rest and recharge#my friend sent me a gift box from lush to make me feel better and I WILL be using it🥹#I plan to relax and plan my korea trip and sleep a lot this weekend tbh#also i get paid today yayyy#haven't posted a long personal vent in awhile figured it was time✨#//#personal
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
my period being over 2 weeks late only for it to come 2 days before pride feels like an extremely homophobic act 😒
#i was most likely not gonna go anyway but that doesn’t make me less annoyed#is it normal to feel so much sadness about getting your period? like im not talking about the hormonal changes making you sad#(although i get that too like ive felt like crying for no reason all day) i mean just the fact that you got the period is making you cry#i hate hate hate it#i need it to stop or get it surgically removed or sth please#and ill still have to go to the hospital tomorrow instead of rotting in bed all day#anyway im sleepy and exhausted im going to bed#jo says stuff#personal ramblings
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
my worst trait is the need to get 12 hours of sleep every night. if i have to get up at 6am well i should be in bed by 6pm. combine this with my natural inclination to stay up really late and you get me waking up past noon because i was up past midnight. if there is no external force like school or a job keeping me on my early bedtime schedule i will revert to sleeping til noon within a few days
#i tried getting ten hours so i would go to sleep at 8 for my job i have to be up for around 6 and i was literally so exhausted all the time#i should have gone to bed at 6#i started going to bed at 7 and it helped#anyway#employment is hard enough but there not enough jobs where the schedule accommodates my insane sleeping needs#i did see one where the start time was 10am and it went until like 6pm but it was really far away and i wasn't qualified#but what a concept#also is was hybrid remote which would also be so nice#this post is to say that i accidentally stayed up past 1am last night so guess what time i woke up today#an extreme example usually i get by with 11 hours and stay up til 11 then get up at 10#which is still not great but its not embarrassing#this is especially terrible with the days getting shorter#the sun goes down at 5pm so getting up at 1pm or noon every day this week is not good#in my defense im getting over covid usually im up by 11#but still 🤡
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
what is my family going to do about the dishes when i move out. like this is insane.
#purrs#i understand that because im not contributing as much financially to the house + am not home most of the day doing dishes every night is a#fair reasonable way to expect me to contribute. but also i come home every day fucking exhausted and basically have to clean an entire day’s#worth of dishes (not allowed to leave them out to dry either i have to both wash and dry) for 5 people + put away all the food and#appliances + wipe down all the counters. like i clean up 5 peoples mess completely by myself. and it’s a lot and i constantly go to bed at#lkke 1:30-2am or later because im stuck doing dishes. my mom and siblings cook but they almost always do it together so it’s 3 ppl and then#i do this by myself and sometimes my dad helps me but he’s working all the time and all of his money is going to all of us so it’s fair that#he doesn’t have to help but. god. i have to be at work at 9 every day it’s not enough sleep and i am constantly late and so so so tired.#its 1:19am and i still have 2 sink fuls of dishes to do at least + have to put away all the food etc and it’s 1:19am. my body is screaming#at me to sleep but i am not allowed to leave it less than spotless. awesome#delete later#anyways yeah what i was saying initially is like.. what are they going to do when i move out and they can’t just leave the mess to me at the#end of the night. someone’s gonna have to stay up just as late to clean it all. lol#it takes me at least an hour every night to do all of this
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
im alive. miserable, but alive.
#still coughing. neck-deep in corporate bs. sleep deprived.#im only writing ilse & eld & hange & levi atm and im only writing on discord and it's terrible writing but a bitch has fun#im not leaving this blog lmfao im tragically long-term with everything i do im just mentally exhausted#now that u know im alive im going to vanish again to celebrate my relationship anniversary with my equally overworked sleep deprived bf#happy anniversary to us cant wait to pass out in bed at 8pm#anyway hopefully i'll be back soon ily have a good day
7 notes
·
View notes