#anyways im going to bed im exhausted | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

the-kipsabian · 2 years ago

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i truly dont write enough chris and drew huh

#i say as i have third fic waiting to be finished and at least one more request with them #and i might have another idea jotted down i dont remember #still four isnt enough i need more. MORE #more grumpy/sunshine tol/smol idiot/idiot dynamics #sigh. i love them #hopefully i can finish the wip at some point i really liked the idea for it mmmm #anyways im going to bed im exhausted #sorry no fics tonight i didnt even try to write im just simply too tired i cant focus #night is an absolute mess on main

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thebirdandhersong · 2 months ago

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Lol

#theres nothing quite like your mother saying Well maybe you shouldve been more careful because now your boss might think youve been flirting #with this male coworker (whom i like splendidly as a friend) and now maybe she thinks youre not trustworthy #and maybe she regrets hiring you because you said you feel like youre making a lot of mistakes this week and she might assume thats because #your head is filled with this boy.#so dont make her regret hiring you.#MA'AM I TOLD YOU I WAS ALREADY ANXIOUS BECAUSE I MADE SO MANY MISTAKES TODAY WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME ASHAMED #OF SOMETHING THAT I HONESTLY HAD NO CLUE I OUGHT TO BE ANXIOUS ABOUT AT MY FIRST NEW JOB AFTER IVE GRADUATED????#anyway going to bed i cant take this anymore LOL she said it so lightly and im like. well i never even considered #being afraid of making my boss regret hiring me somehow because of some kind of behaviour that i had no idea was sending some kind of signal #anywaysssss 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#and then she was like why are you crying?? 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀#not to be like this is partly why i didnt want to move home but confound it all why are things like this #can i not simply confide in my mother my anxieties and worriws #worries #and not also have to worry about her potentially being like Well have you considered you ARE right and it IS your fault?#idk man something something firstborn child eldest daughter can i have some room to breathe. please #also not to whine but Not my father walking in on me eating dinner at 10pm because i was holed up #in my room in a semi depressive state after so many gong shows in a work day and straight up having no appetite #but deciding my body needs the food anyway its better late than never.....walking in and then saying #you know if you eat this late you'll gain weight. SIR??????????????????#sorry to complain and rant again i simply cannot in this house and whats more am doing my best to honour my parents #but why is it so hard out here and how can they say stuff like that with a smile!!!!!!!#also i DO have an inner critic who is always like Its your fault you are the worst you should be ashamed always........why do my parents #not understand after knowing me for so long and watching me grow up #that i can make myself so ashamed of the smallest thing so easily and that what they say drives me to shame almost as easily?#ANYWAY LOL WHAT A DAY #you guys!!! i am working so hard i promise i PROMISE I am!!! it is my first full time job ever and i am working so so hard #i am doing my absolute best and no one sees it and that is FINE i just wish my parents would see that i AM trying!!#i come back home so dead every single day because i put in 120%! this is literally my first job after graduation #and my parents KNOW this has been the most exhausting taxing and soul crushing year ive had in my very short life so far

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itsjaywalkers · 11 months ago

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making ghosts, ch 9

#WHAT DID I SAY #I PROMISED . AND HERE IT IS #even tho it actually almost killed me #anyways it's near 5am #im exhausted #im falling asleep as im writing these tags #so i'm just gonna shut up and go to bed #really hope u guys like it #despite being the longest one yet..#happy new year again!!#love u all very much #fic: making ghosts #jegulus #james potter #regulus black #sirius black #jegulus fanfiction #marauders

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angelpuns · 6 months ago

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Raughhh I'm fine rn but frustrating to think that I haven't been able to like - just relax and enjoy things lately cause I'm too busy overthinking and having a constant anxiety attack ( exaggeration ) about nothing

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denfucker · 1 year ago

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dennis... he is so interesting... silly, even...

to be worshipped is one thing. to be worshipped is a given. who wouldn't worship him? he leaves and the gang changes because who are they without him? he comes back and the gang chooses him because why wouldn't they? and the d.e.n.n.i.s system and being a golden god and demonstrate value, so they only see what you present and not what you are. sex is what you are. you are a god. see past the golden god and there's nothing there. engage physically. that's it, that's you. engage physically and they won't ask too many questions. nurture dependence, they want you. they worship you. they need you. neglect emotionally, once they start to get too close and worship and obsession tips into what you think is love. inspire hope, so they'll leave and come back again, because you decide what goes and what doesn't. and nothing goes. you are golden and perfect. they will never leave.

then. separate entirely. you leave first. they will cling onto you and kneel at your altar and miss the perfect version of you, and you will only be known as the golden god and you will only be remembered for sex because that is what you are.

and that's all you need. you need worship, you need obsession. you don't need to be loved, or known, because what does that bring you? to be known is to see past the facade. to be known means presenting every bit of yourself, every flaw and imperfection that you try to scrub and dye and push away before it becomes too obvious. and what do you do, when someone knows you, and they don't like what they see?

what then?

#wow i was about to go to bed then i started thinking too hard about dennis now i am here #i should sleep i need sleep #instead i am here!#im sorry for this #i dont think it makes any sense bc its almost 2am im delirious and exhausted #anyway! goodnight!#dennis reynolds #iasip #iasip analysis #macdennis #dennis system #glenn howerton #its always sunny in philadelphia #insane ramblings

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fadeintoyou1993 · 5 months ago

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having to explain to people things like. if i have to go out to do something and run errands i need to have it all mapped out and planned w like. at least a week in advance. and if i go out that day i cannot do anything else because That will be it. if i have multiple commitments that cannot be put on the same day i need one full day in between those commitments so i can rest and be recharged for that next thing otherwise i might have a breakdown in the middle of the street (again) and then That will render me unable to function for like a whole three days. and then people look at me like i choose to live like this?

#txt #audhd tag #just venting a little #its crazy because ppl around me are like I understand your limitations However why dont you-#So you dont understand my limitations?#like okay yeah i understand that it must be Weird for people that are not Inside my brain and hard to understand that i PHYSICALLY CANNOT>#do things that they dont even think about. alright! but to sit and tell me Yeah we get it! but then try to either fix it or >#> come up w a New Incredible Way To Fix Me as if half of what i talk abt w my therapist isnt Exactly This #like yeah i dont fucking like it either. i wish i could do shit like other ppl do. i wish i could remember things.#i wish i didnt feel exhausted all the time i wish simply leaving my bed wasnt the most difficult task every single morning #but it pisses me OFF when people try to talk me through these Limitations i have that They Understand<3 like. can you be accommodating or no #one of my closest friends and oldest friends since i was like 5 had her bday on friday and she ljterally messaged me like #Hi we r having something w my family but theyre rly loud and extremist on the right wing side and i barely wanna be here u dont have 2 come>#> but i wanted to invite u anyway so u dont think ur being left out! and i was like Yayy nice thank u bc lbr i probably wouldnt go anyway.#and she KNOWS that. and she literally was talking to me like she alwahs does and That felt accommodating and understanding and i felt loved #cut to my mom last night trying to make me feel guilty for not going because Shes my friend and i should have gone anyway.#i told her off and she backtracked but thats still innmy head like. that shit is so irritating #okay sorry vent over im just aboht to get my period so this is making me sick #want to yell into the void and forget about it. Hits post

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pink-lemonadefairy · 3 months ago

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🌻 ₊˚⊹ ࿔ 🌳

#the weather is so lovely today. it’s breezy and cool but the sun is warm so it’s not too cold or too hot out.#i wish it was like this forever.#ive been feeling so tired lately. physically n mentally & idk if its an underlying health issue or bc i haven’t been sleeping super well #the past few days i wake up in the middle of the night but im able to go back to sleep fairly quickly. but i STILL feel exhausted.#im supposed to talk about my lab results w my doc tmrw on the phone so. i hope everything is okay but tbh i wouldn’t be surprised if #something wasn’t optimal. my iron was okay last time i checked it though. sigh i just idefk anymore.#im sick of everything. im irritable for no reason. i don’t wanna do anything. like anything. i just want to rot in my bed #and even my interests are slowly slipping away from me. writing? couldn’t care less if i don’t write anything for the rest of the year tbh.#reading? i couldn’t even care to browse the shelves when we went to the bookstore the other day and it scared the shit out of me #kpop? meh.#i have a massive to do list and uni starts in a month and i have no energy. + dealing with my own brain and nonsensical thoughts on top #of that. overthinking anxiety all that super great stuff.#im also sick of putting in 110% into my relationships and getting half of it back. family friends whoever. and it makes me so sad. +#i feel like nobody even understands me. or even tries to or wants to.#im just tired #sick and tiredddddd #actually a bit sick too my throat hurts #anyways whatever #it’ll be fine i guess #i don’t want to give up but i don’t have any desire to push through im sort of just. floating. ill deal with it when i deal with it #♡ dear diary…

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skunkes · 2 years ago

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#alas....#talkys #i love using this specific in bed smunker image when im sick bc i made it when i was really sick last year #anyway im about to go attempt sleep i feel rly exhausted and the coughing was turned up to 11 today #⬅️ he will toss and turn for 5 hrs until he finally passes out

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iliveinprocrasti-nationn · 8 months ago

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one thing abt being disabled/chronically ill that some people don’t get is that sometimes body maintenance that ensures you have the absolute minimum amount of function can also be something that takes away a lot of control and autonomy. you can argue till the cows come home that making those decisions to try and help yourself (or realistically to try to make sure things aren’t worse than they already are) is something that exhibits control and autonomy and stuff, but they can be so limiting in practice because they’re things that take up so much time but have to be done to do anything else

#i have to sleep a lot. i’m at the point where functioning requires 8 hours of sleep if not more #I should probably be getting 10+ but i’m a student and i work so 8 is the minimum. but then also getting ready for bed is a whole process s #the whole thing can take 10-12 hours depending how much im sleeping. just to make sure i can do anything #that is time in my day i cannot use for anything else. it’s not ‘oh but i can push through it’ because i can’t without spending the next da #lightheaded and nauseous and vaguely dizzy and with such intense brain fog I can’t think with my fatigue so bad i genuinely don’t know how #get myself to work a lot of days. my abled peers don’t have to deal with this at all. they have unlimited study time if they want to #and yeah it is a choice i’m making that’s true i could just not do. except i would lose my job and fail out of college because i would not #be able to get to classes or do my homework or think. but being told ‘but you are making choices about your life’ when i have lost so much #of what i used to be able to do because i am spiralling down and continuing to get worse is so.#literally last year i would wake up at 6:30 and then go to school till 3 and then go to my internship until 10 and get home at 11 and be in #bed anywhere from midnight to two in the morning and then wake up the next day and do it all again. i graduated with a 3.9 gpa and made it #into my top college while dealing with my cancer symptoms and then the two surgeries about it #but now i lose half my day to just making sure i can get out of bed. i can’t go anywhere because my body is physically too exhausted #any extra time goes into doing homework or occasionally time to myself #not decimating my health by doing minimum body care responsibilities isn’t freeing. occasionally i have a good day which is freeing but tha #usually goes into just. other things outside class or work or eating. I don’t go do something for myself or go do something fun on good day #because I still can’t. good days just mean i don’t want to lie down on the pavement when i’m going somewhere #I just. I don’t magically have control over my life because i try to get enough sleep. i lose half my day to doing that and ultimately it’s #just a bodily function that would have to happen anyway #this is a vent post im just having a really hard time right now because it feels like im in exponential decline. it was nowhere near this #bad last semester. my grades are tanking and i have no free time because anything outside of sleep is either work or school #vent tw #yall can rb this just ignore my tags completely #disability #chronically ill #i keep trying to explain to people how pots works because that’s all logical but there’s no way to explain what it’s doing to my body or ho #i feel all the time. the last time i felt this bad was when i had a bad flu or immediately after surgeries because i don’t react well to #anesthesia and always come out of them feeling like shit. and now i just feel like this all the time and it’s only getting worse #I can’t even stay up late anymore because my body feels like it isn’t counting the sleep even if I get 8 hours #I can deal if I have a free day the day after but that just leaves Friday and Saturday nights and I usually still have to do homework

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edwardbonnets · 1 year ago

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HAHAHAHA HELLO IM BACK FROM ANOTHER UNSCHEDULED HIATUS IM SO SORRY YALL

but i promise this time i had good reason becaaaaauuuuuse

I GRADUATED UNIVERSITY! :D

(that's me on the right, i don't often post pictures of myself but this is a special occasion)

anyways i am FINALLY done with school, i took a few summer classes just to finish up some spare credits, and at the same time i was working my summer job and ALSO doing a two-month internship with the Smithsonian so. I've been Very Busy.

And now I'm currently on vacation to visit my mother in Thailand so i am STILL busy, buuuuuut i wanted to jump back on here because once I'm back in the US i will be COMPLETELY free to blog and make gifs and all the usual stuff that I've missed so much!!!!!

.........and also watching good omens season 2 on the plane ride over here may or may not have given me severe and massive brain rot so expect a huge wave of gomens content on this blog in the following weeks lmaoooo

#i feel so bad for being away so long #i tend to drop off the face of the earth without warning but that's also because i have massive Depression brain and it's a force of habit 💀#but like i genuinely cannot express how this has quite literally been the BUSIEST summer of my life #like i've never worked so much before #there was a solid week where i was going to bed at like 6pm because i was so exhausted coming home from my internship #anyways it's night time here so I'm gonna sleep and in the morning my theme is getting a MASSIVE revamp >:)#an.....ineffable revamp.....one could say >:)))))#yeah the second im back home with my computer im churning out 5000 aziracrow gifs #i need something to help cope with the s2 ending because HOLY hell #okay that's enough rambling in the tags gootnight #emily.txt

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ghostorbz · 8 days ago

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Ymmuy

yt link

#my phone is so broken it took me like 10 minutes to type out the caption because of lag #ummmm anyways haha #art #my art #animation #my animations #video #tbhk #toilet bound hanako kun #number 6 tbhk #sumire akane #binomi #ughhhhh this flopped so hard on yt. so far. idk yet it might just take a while for views to roll in #it just be like that sometimes #idk im really really sleepy #this is scheduled but its 10 at night and i have math class tomorrow. and im super exhausted and sleepy #so im gonna go to bed #night night

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seventh-district · 13 days ago

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.

#vent #vent post #cw negative #Seven’s Public Diary #wish i wasn’t so fucking worthless and useless and stupid and selfish and mean #i am just so goddamn sick of my own bullshit. but i never change #i’m so tired of being weighed down by my 56492 mental illnesses. i don’t like being like this #my sleep schedule is so fucked up again and im tired of this constant cycle #this constant fight and endless effort to stay on a goddamn routine #all i want for christmas is a goddamn consistent sleep schedule #i hate sleeping through the day and being up all night but it’s like my body was fucking built for that or something #i don’t like it!! i want to be an early bird who goes to bed at 8pm and wakes up before the sun rises!!! but im the exact opposite!!!!!!!#i wish i just didn’t need to sleep at all. that would be the ideal. so many problems would be solved.#no i Really wish i just had the ability to fall asleep and wake up whenever i actually Want To instead of my body calling the shots #fell asleep at 9 this morning and im so mad that i didn’t get up when i was woken up at 11 #a 2hr nap would’ve been fine and i would’ve made it through the rest of the day and been able to fucking sleep again tonight #but noOOooOoOo i had to give in to the allure of my warm cozy bed and fall back asleep for 9 more goddamn hours #now once again im too awake and rested to be able to go back to sleep. but once morning rolls around im gonna be exhausted again #and i’ll either give in and attempt to take a ‘nap’ and it’ll turn into a 12hr sleep again #or i’ll have to like. walk laps around the fucking house just to keep myself awake through the day #and i’ll be super irritable as a result and make everyone around me miserable too #but everyone is already beyond fed up with my issues and behavior. rightly so i guess. so i lose either way #god there was so much stuff i was gonna/supposed to do today #i don’t know how much longer they’re gonna put up with me being such a deadbeat #you think that’d like. motivate me to get my shit together or something but no. i’m addicted to being unconscious i guess #sleep feels so fucking good. until i wake up. which is funny bc it’s all nightmares and stress dreams anyway. why do i even enjoy sleeping #i guess bc for the first few hours after waking up i experience some modicum of relief from my other mental illnesses’ symptoms #like a soft reset.#and it’s the Only thing that gets rid of my migraines so god forbid i get one of those bc then i Have to sleep regardless of the time of day #anyways! :) that’s enough whining for one vent post. time to go do something productive

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pcktknife · 1 year ago

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man I'm gonna have to move pretty soon and it is not putting me in the greatest of moods

#ive been ignoring that its something thats definitely going to happen but whenever i think about it i get just incredibly upset #like i really don't know how many 'fresh starts' i got in me cause its really wearing me out #i dont get to have any lasting friendships bc im not good at keeping in touch especially if its long distance #and it is Exhausting why put the effort into making friends and meeting people at all if in 2 years you lose everyone anyway #sigh whatever its super late so i should probably just go to bed and stop thinking abt this before i start to spiral or smth...gnite <3 #kae.txt

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justadino-ig · 9 months ago

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as a result of using a bsd character randomizer.. platonic kyouka & kenji + "Thank you for always listening to me." ?

oh i love these two

"Thank you. For always listening to me." Kyouka said softly. Kenji paused, "Well- of course I'd listen!! You're my friend!" She smiled faintly, replying as he returned a bright smile, "I'm glad. That we're friends."

#people sleep on their bestie bond honestly #kyouka bsd #kenji bsd #bsd #my writing #ask games #asks #zukkaoru #anyway im like half asleep so it's very short BUT !!! the sillies #maybe i should go back to bed... im going out to a dance today i dont wanna be exhausted the whole time #someday...... i will write a longer fic ab these two #solving a crime all by themselves #and ranpo comes and picks them up after #and takes them to a candy store

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toytulini · 6 months ago

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wheres that post about how its hard to have like a fucking depression spiral or whatever while knitting bc lemme tell u im sitting here fighting back tears while actively crocheting and its not fucking working

#toy txt post #depression spiral self worth spiral the world sucks and everything is bad and stupid spiral #whatever you want to call it. im fucking miserable and my eyes keep watering and making it kinda hard to see the fucking stitches #guess thatd be less of an issue if i was doing a standard moss stitch instead if a modified variant w half doubles and working into the #stitch under the space instead of in the chain space which is a little more annoying and fiddly to find than the chain space #whatever. its all the same stupid fucking shit anyway. whatever whatever whatever whatever #nothing matters everything is stupid and sucks and whats the fucking point! god #and then dad will just get home and sternly scold me for not looking for a job anyway #as if i could currently fucking handle being asked what my fucking strengths are or whatever #and i bet fucking period is not fucking helping cos hormone fluctuations do weird shit to emotions i fucking guess. whatever #i feel like my head is going to explode #'just let yourself cry let it out!' no. its fucking inconvenient and doesnt even release all the stupid fucking feelings it just leaves me #exhausted and wasting a bunch of fucking tissues. whatever #im a stupid lazy bitch whatever and im Not. but i am #what does it matter #i cant even deal with the fucking ants in my bedroom im just hiding from them in my brothers empty room #i washed all my bedding but havent remade the bed bc im like oh i should wait for the ants to be gone #cant do anything. cant do fucking anything at all ever #i should get out of the house and touch grass and that would be good for me but like. where #i shouldnt even leave the house bc im not insured and what if i get into a car crash? i hate everything #negative #whining

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cowboy-robooty · 11 months ago

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i dont got a gaurdian angel or devil on my shoulder but i do imagine grandad (robert freeman) from the boondocks reacting to everything around me

#been like this for like two months now or something #everytime im too exhausted to get up but am like 'i need to get up to eat dinner' i hear grandads voice like #'have sleep for dinner youre getting fat anyway'#that sounds bad it sounds like i have an eating disorder or some shit that is not true. i love to eat im monkey d luffy irl and its not a #joke. me and wiener are fucking beasts we will go 20 minutes without eating and go gawd... im so hungry rn...#but sometime my demon of a bed traps me like quicksand again and im like i need to eat food.. but god sleep feels so good....#i love the have sleep for dinner youre getting fat anyway line okay it makes me laugh so fucking hard riley be starving af #pretty boy flizzy episode 😍😍😍#i think about the allowance line too all the fuckin time #you want an allowance? i ALLOW you to eat my food. i ALLOW you to burn my electricity. i ALLOW you to sleep in my bed!#robert freeman is so deadass i love him especially when he thought riley was gay and heard tom say all the good things about gay people and #and went 'damn thats a lot of good shit... nah still gotta disown him'#LOL #grandad was not rockin wit that gangstalicious manbag

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