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honeyedmiller · 2 days ago

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A Burning Desire part eight

firefighter!joel miller x f!reader

series masterlist

rating: 18+, minors do not interact.

warnings: fluff, vulnerability, shimmer mention!, brief mentions of past verbal abuse, angst, mentions of pregnancy (reader’s sister), extremely inaccurate descriptions of how insurance / payout works (just go with it, it’s fiction lol), smut (fingering, m!oral receiving, masturbation, phone sex), no use of y/n. if there’s anything i missed, please lmk.

word count: 10.6k

synopsis: joel and tommy are sent on a dangerous work trip.

a/n: fuck. thanks for being so patient with me. there’s hints of foreshadowing in this unrevised (sry) monster of a chapter, and the next chapter will be angsty. i hope you enjoy tho. thx for sticking around and reading my silly little story <3

Getting back into the swing of things after the holidays has always deemed itself to be arduous. You’re lucky you work from home, but you’d taken on the responsibility of getting Sarah out of the house in time to drive her to school. It’s not that you mind at all, you just hate getting up out of a warm bed, especially when you have Joel as your own personal furnace now.

Having two weeks off of said responsibility was nice because you and Sarah got to sleep in and you made her breakfast with hot cocoa nearly every morning before you had to clock in for work. She’d spend most of her break over at her friend’s house or reading a book either in the living room or her room, anyway.

She has since gone back to school, and having the house to yourself again is still a bit unnerving, which is why it’s nice on days like this where Joel has off from work and can spend some time with you. Even if you’re stuck in your home office on days like today, he checks in on you once in a while to make sure you’re doing okay.

Today has been particularly hard, only because the client you’re working with is demanding as hell and your boss is jumping down your throat to make sure you appease said client. Your face is buried in your hands as you sit and decompress for a minute, and that’s when Joel decides to check in on you. It’s like the man has spidey senses for when you’re going through it or something.

“Hey baby, I brought you some—” He stops short when he sees the state you’re currently in.

“You okay, honeybee?” His voice is gentle and honestly concerned, and your heart melts yet again at how sweet he is.

“Work’s just stressing me out a bit,” you answer truthfully. You look up at him from your seat as he stands beside you, setting down a small bowl of fruit for you to snack on next to you on the desk. You softly smile at the fruit before looking back up at him. “Thank you, handsome.”

“Ain’t a thing, baby. ‘M sorry you’re so stressed. Anythin’ I can do to help?”

He steps behind you now and his large, warm hands land on your shoulders before he begins to massage them. You groan softly and loll your head to the side, rolling your lips into your mouth before shaking your head.

“Nah. Luckily this is my last day dealing with this client, so it’ll only be for a few more hours. Thank you though, baby. It means a lot.”

You reach up and grab one of his hands, giving it a thoughtful squeeze before you let go to reply to an email your boss sent you.

“Well what if I told you that I have a date planned for us this weekend?”

You look up at him with furrowed brows. “Where?” You ask, excitement taking over your body.

“Well, I know everythin’s been kinda hectic with my accident and me healing, your sister’s news, you movin’ in, the holidays, and Tommy and Maria’s engagement. We’ve been so busy n’ we’ve barely had any time to ourselves outside of the house in a while, so I wanna take you somewhere kinda peaceful.”

He doesn’t give away too much, but you’re already on board.

“You’ve got me intrigued. Can’t wait to see what you have up that sleeve of yours.”

“Good, ‘cus I also bought you a couple ‘a things to go along with this weekend’s date.”

“Oh?” You give him an incredulous look, but his boyish shit-eating grin is all you need to see to not ask any further questions, no matter how piqued your curiosity is.

You smile up at him and shake your head, focusing back on your work. You sit in silence for a couple of minutes as he continues to massage your shoulders while you type away.

“I’m gonna go on a run. I’ll be back in time to fix you up some lunch.” He kisses the top of your head before you look up at him with a small smile.

“If I wasn’t glued to this desk right now I’d join you,” you laugh. “Be careful out there, baby.”

“Always am. Maybe I can exercise you in another way later on,” he says, smirking down at you with mischief written all over his face.

“You’re insatiable, Mr. Miller.” But the idea doesn’t sound half bad.

He holds his hands up defensively. “Can’t blame a guy for wantin’ to love his lady right, can you?”

You roll your eyes with a laugh and tug him down gently by his shirt before giving him a lengthy kiss. You release him and pat his abdomen twice. “Have fun on your run, cowboy.”

After a long week, the weekend finally rolled around and Joel still wouldn’t tell you exactly what you two were going to do on your date.

He just kept reassuring you that you’d love it, and you’ve slowly learned to just go with the flow and not ask anymore questions.

He insisted you wear a blindfold this time, and made you get into his truck as he took the next few minutes to put whatever it was in the back seat before you both took off.

You ride passenger for about thirty minutes or so with soft tunes of George Strait playing in the background before you hear gravel crunch under the tires of the truck as Joel turns left.

“You aren’t exploring a new kink right now, are you?” You snort, turning your head in his general direction. “Blindfolding me like this just to take me in the middle of nowhere and have deliciously rough sex with me and make me fall in love with you even more, hm? Is this your diabolical plan?” You can’t help but wiggle your eyebrows at your own absolute absurdness.

He chuckles deeply and you can practically feel him rolling his eyes at you as the brakes squeak slightly and the truck comes to a slow stop. It’s silent for a moment before you hear him move, and you feel the heat of his body right next to you.

“Not today, sweet girl.” The deep raspiness in his voice sends a shiver down your spine. He huffs a laugh before kissing your cheek and taking off your blindfold.

You blink a few times as your eyes adjust to the light, the sun shining brilliantly on land—lots of it. Something shimmers in the distance, and you realize it’s a creek that runs along a trail that looks like it’s meant for horseback riding.

Then it clicks. You look at him with pure excitement in your eyes.

“Are we going horseback riding?”

He can’t help but grin at the giddiness in your tone. “Yeah baby, we are. Figured we’d eat first, though. Packed us some of our favorites and thought we could make a picnic of it as we sit by the creek.”

Your heart absolutely flutters and grows ten times fonder for the man in front of you, if that’s even possible. You try to hold back your tears of gratitude, but one can’t help it and slips down your cheek.

Joel wipes the tear with his thumb as he leans in to kiss your forehead.

You grab his face gently in your hands before admiring his beautiful brown irises.

“Oh, Joel,” you choke out, leaning in for a loving kiss. You rest your forehead against his as you sniffle once. “This is so thoughtful. This place is beautiful. Thank you.”

“‘Course, my honeybee. Life has been too hectic lately n’ I wanted to treat my woman to somethin’ a little more… relaxing.”

“What a lucky lady she is,” you giggle, smiling against his lips and giving them one more peck before you pull away. He opens his door and hops out of the truck, jogging over to your side to open your door before offering his hand to you. You take his hand and he helps you out, feet hitting the ground with a thud.

You both gather the stuff for the picnic before making your way over to the creek that was no more than a hundred yards away.

You set up the blanket on some soft grass as Joel puts the cooler down beside you both, and you sit down across from each other. You admire the atmosphere, with the sun beaming enough to warm you up some and the song of birds chirping in the trees. The sound of water flowing up the creek adds to the blissful ambience, and you sigh in content before noticing a house off in the distance.

“Does someone live over here?” You ask, stretching your legs in front of you as you lean back on your palms to hold yourself upright.

“This is actually my uncle’s land. Tommy n’ I grew up playin’ in these fields and this creek. We’d used to help him on the ranch to earn some extra allowance durin’ the summertime when we got older.”

You imagine a little Joel and Tommy running around in these fields whose grass sways with the gentle breeze—and then you’re picturing kids of your own. Kids that you’d eventually have with Joel. Hearing their little squeals of joy, chasing them around in the soft grass, making new memories for years to come. You imagine Sarah would be the best big sister, despite any age difference they might have.

“This place is beautiful, Joel. Does your uncle still own the land?” You ask, eyes shifting back to him.

He nods. “He does, but he’s had to hire help since he’s a bit too old to take care of the place himself. I know for a while he’d been thinkin’ about sellin’ it, but he says there’s just too many fond memories tied to this place.”

“That’s understandable. I can just imagine a young you and Tommy causing a ruckus around here,” you laugh, and he nudges your leg with his own.

“Don’t mean our mama and pops didn’t talk some sense into us,” he chuckles, face tilting toward the bright blue sky.

“Looks like it did you two some good. They’d be proud of you both, I’m sure. Wish I could’ve met them.” You give him a sympathetic smile, and he gives you a small sad one in return.

“They would’ve absolutely loved you, baby. I can just hear my mama now: ‘Bout damn time you wanna get settled down with someone nice,’” he sighs and reaches for you, and you maneuver yourself onto his lap. You rest your head against his chest as he wraps his arms around you, giving you a small squeeze while kissing your hair.

“She sounds like a lovely woman,” you say, nuzzling into his strong chest.

“She was. I’m very lucky to have had parents that gave my brother n’ I a great example of what true love really looks like, whether it was through their relationship with each other or the love they showered us with. I knew even back then that what Sarah’s mom n’ I had wasn’t true love. It was staying together out of convenience because she’d gotten pregnant. I really tried with her, but nothing made her happy. She became verbally abusive toward me after a while, too. It got even worse after Sarah was born. She didn’t want to be a mother. After everythin’ her and I went through, even after she left us, I’m grateful for her bringin’ my daughter into this world. I love my baby girl more than life itself,” he sighs, taking a breath for a minute as he recounts his past.

“Raisin’ Sarah as a single dad truly was full of trials and tribulations. I did have help from my family, which I’ll always be grateful for, but I was doin’ it all on my own for the most part. Havin’ the odd schedule I have now and makin’ it work around Sarah’s took a long while, but we finally got it down. Nobody had ever wanted to stick around after a night together because they thought that me havin’ a kid was too… complicated. I can understand it from their perspective, but truthfully, nobody ever gave me a chance to get to show them the real me. They just saw me as someone they can check off their bucket list and mess around with because of my job and the uniform I wear. And then you come along, unexpected, knockin’ me off my feet in the best way possible and showin’ me that love is still in the cards for me. You’re it for me, baby. I don’t think I can ever express my gratitude to you for showin’ me what it feels like to be seen and—god—to be loved the way you love me.”

You soak his words in before wrapping your arms around his torso. You press a kiss to his stubbled jaw, letting him silently know that you’re here for him.

“Thank you for opening up to me,” you murmur, tracing your fingers over his back in a soothing motion. “I can’t even imagine what that was like. I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that.” Your voice holds a gratefulness and sadness that isn’t missed, and he shakes his head.

“Thank you for allowin’ me to be my true self, emotions and all,” he says, and you hug him tighter. You recall him telling you that his ex would tell him ‘real men don’t cry’, and your heart hurts for him even more. How could somebody be so cruel to such a loving man?

He sighs and lays down, sun glistening against his beautiful golden skin. You admire his handsome features and softly smile as you bring a hand down to run through his curls.

He pops one eye open before giving your wrist a tug, and you land on him with an oof.

He chuckles and wraps his arms around you, trailing his fingers down so he can put both of his hands in the back pockets of your Wranglers.

“I love you so much, baby.” His voice is thick and low, causing butterflies to erupt in your stomach.

“I love you too.”

The easiness of which the phrase rolls off your tongue is a beautiful thing, you think. You’ve come so far with opening up your heart to Joel, and he, you. You look down at him and savor the way his eyes look like a smooth whiskey in the sunlight, the way the skin around them crinkles when he smiles at you.

You lean down and finally seal your lips to his, and you feel him fully relax as he moves his hands from your back pockets up to the middle of your back and back down again. You stay like this for a few minutes, enjoying the feeling of each other as the soft breeze causes the grass to rustle and the sound of water and lips smacking is a harmony lost in the wind.

It isn’t until you hear his stomach rumble that you pull apart from him with a laugh, maneuvering yourself off of him to sit up.

“Sounds like someone’s hungry,” you tease, reaching for the cooler.

“I’m hungry alright,” he says, leaning over to capture your lips in yet another searing kiss.

“I’m serious Joel,” you laugh against his lips. “You gotta eat.”

He sighs and puts his hands up in defeat. “Fine.”

You nudge him with a grin before opening the cooler, revealing sandwiches, grapes, chips, waters, two soda cans, and… chocolate covered strawberries. You raise an eyebrow at him as he smiles sheepishly at you.

“Chocolate covered strawberries?” You parrot your thoughts, moving to sit criss-crossed.

“I know how much you like them so… I made ‘em for you special.”

If your heart could burst anymore, this man would probably be the end of you with his unconditional love. You don’t know how much more you can possibly handle, even though you know you’re going to spend the rest of your life with him. It’s the little things like this that he goes out of his way to do for you that has never been done by anyone, so getting used to his kind gestures has been a rewarding challenge.

“Thank you, honey. This is so kind of you.” You lean over to kiss his cheek before handing his food to him, and you both dive into your meals as you enjoy the serenity surrounding you. Then a pressing thought pops into your head. It takes you a few minutes to conjure up the courage to ask Joel the burning question on your mind, but you eventually find the words.

“Are you serious about wanting kids with me, Joel?” Your voice is soft as you look around again, then meet his gaze.

He swallows his food before nodding. “I’m one hundred percent serious.”

Your heart flutters. “You don’t think the age gap between Sarah and her future siblings would be weird?”

Joel thinks about it for a moment. “No, I wouldn’t say weird. Might just take some time t’get used to. Ever since she was a toddler she’d been beggin’ me to give her a sibling, but I obviously couldn’t do that considerin’ I didn’t have anyone to… procreate with,” he chuckles at the last part. You laugh with him and nod, swallowing the last bite of your sandwich.

“I couldn’t imagine growing up without my siblings. Even when there were times we all fought, we all still laughed about it later on and got over it quickly. Bless my mom and dad’s hearts, ‘cus I know we were all a handful.”

You smile as you reminisce growing up with your brothers and sister. You’d want your future kids to have that type of sibling bond, too.

“I know what you mean. I remember when my mama and pops told me they were havin’ another baby. I was over the moon about it, ‘cus it meant I’d have someone by my side for life. Tommy might be a grade A pain in my ass, but I’m grateful that he and I grew up so close together and stayed that way throughout adulthood.”

“I think Sarah would be a great big sister,” you say, and Joel sports a proud smile that makes your heart melt.

“I think so too, baby.”

“I never thought I’d be talking about having kids with a partner ever again, you know. I’m happy we’re on the same page about this. I think it’s important to discuss this even before we eventually decide to take the next step in our relationship.”

He nods in agreement as he opens the tupperware that has the chocolate covered strawberries, taking one out before bringing his other hand to coax your mouth open. He offers you a bite of the strawberry, and he finishes off the rest of it after you take your bite.

“I’m happy too, baby. ‘S good that we can clarify things now. I’ve never been with someone who can communicate with me so easily, so I thank you for that. I really am just a lucky bastard who got hit on at a coffee shop,” he chuckles, shooting you a wink as you laugh.

“Thanks for taking a chance on me, Miller. Glad I didn’t disappoint.” And with that, you lean in for one last searing kiss before you both finish off the strawberries and dust yourselves off as you take the cooler and blanket back to his truck.

You’re about to head for the stables in the distance, but Joel stops you.

“Wait, I have somethin’ for you,” he says, reaching further into his back seat. He pops his Stetson on and you bite your lip before shooting him a look.

“Haven’t we already established that you in your cowboy hat drives me absolutely wild?” You cross your arms over your chest as you continue to stare at him incredulously.

“Yeah, baby,” he laughs. “But now you get to match me.”

He pulls out another hat and spins around, plopping it onto your head. Your eyes also drift down as he hands you a shoebox.

“Joel, oh my– is this–?” You’re at a loss for words, and he sports a smirk on his face.

“Open the box, sweet girl.”

You do as you’re told, carefully opening the box to reveal a beautiful pair of brown leather cowgirl boots with white floral stitching across the front.

“Joel, these are beautiful. Thank you so much.”

“Ain’t a thing, baby. Try ‘em on.”

You slip off your sneakers and try on the boots, which fit perfectly. Joel adjusts the hat on your head before giving you his million dollar smile.

“Beautiful.”

“You think so, cowboy?”

“Absolutely. And y’know,” he pauses as he slides his hands comfortably on your hips, pulling you flush against his body. “Every cowboy needs his cowgirl.”

He gives you a twirl before dipping you, leaning down to kiss you before standing you upright.

You’re all smiles and giggles as you walk hand-in-hand to the stables, where one of the ranch workers greets you both with a smile.

“Hey Joel, you’ll be ridin’ Stella and Shimmer today,” the man says. Joel gives him a curt nod as the corner of his mouth twitches up into a half smile.

“Thank you, Drew.”

Drew tips his hat to you both before walking off to tend to the other animals near the stables, and you turn toward Shimmer as you begin to gently pet her.

“Hi beautiful girl,” you coo, stroking her snout. She nudges you gently and you grin before glancing at Joel.

“She likes you,” he says.

You beam at him before he chuckles and comes behind you, boosting you by your waist as you situate yourself on the saddle on Shimmer’s back. You continue to stroke her mane as you place your feet in the stirrups, grabbing a firm hold of the reins.

Joel follows suit as he mounts himself onto Stella, and clicks his teeth twice to lead the way out of the stables. Shimmer follows suit, and soon enough, you’re both riding side-by-side on the trail by the creek.

“Thank you for all of this,” you gesture your hand around you both before grabbing back onto the reins. “It means a lot to me. I had a lot of fun.”

“Yeah?” He asks, his voice hopeful.

“Yeah. It’s been absolutely perfect.”

You take a moment to admire him and how the sun’s golden rays shine on him as it slowly starts to set, casting a beautiful orange and pink glow in lieu of bright blue. He gazes at you with such a softness you’ve never witnessed before, and you think it’s a thing beyond love. Devotion, compassion, protection—all in a single look.

A look that has taken care of your heart when it was tender and aching, a look that has pumped it full of love again. It’s a look that flips your world around in the best way possible.

It’s a look that could make you cry. It’s funny, because you never used to be so in-tune with your emotions before. Before Joel, a majority of your life with and after Christian had you feeling so numb and devoid of any feelings or emotions. It was draining, and you didn’t think you’d ever be able to feel so lively ever again.

Well, never say never.

There are no words to describe the love and gratefulness you feel for this man riding beside you, but you know you’re going to spend the rest of your life proving it to him, even if it’s wordlessly done so.

A few months down the line, the ranch ends up becoming a small escape for you and Joel. When you both had free time, you’d slip away and drive to the open fields to enjoy the calmness of the water under the starry nights, laid up in the bed of his truck on top of a bunch of blankets.

It’s the only house around for miles, so it’s super private and quiet. It’s like your own little secret with him as you’d lay there, talking about anything and everything—and sometimes leading to more.

You’re in the middle of more, trying to muffle your moans with Joel’s mouth on yours as his fingers curl inside of you. You’re aching and needy, rocking your hips against his palm so your swollen clit rubs against his flesh. It’s intoxicating, the way his fingers move so perfectly inside of you.

You gasp against his lips as a dark chuckle rumbles in his chest.

“Thas’ it. Atta girl, jus’ like that,” he murmurs his praise as you rock your hips so willingly and meet every thrust of his fingers, so close to your release that your whines start to mesh with your panting. “You gonna be a good girl and cum for me?”

You fist his hair between your fingers and smash your lips to his in urgency, crying against him as a wave of toe-curling bliss surges through your veins.

”Oh, fuck!”

You gush around his fingers and down his wrist, and he lowly hums as your body convulses a few more times, stomach drawing taut as you come down from your high.

“Make such pretty messes, baby. So fuckin’ beautiful.” He kisses your forehead as he withdraws his fingers slowly, sweeping them over your sensitive clit to spread your arousal before bringing his fingers up to his mouth to suck them clean. You clench around nothing at the sight as your head falls back against the makeshift pillows, gaze bleary as you try and slow your breathing and heart rate by staring at the stars twinkling so brilliantly.

Joel dips his head down to kiss you, and you tangle your fingers through his curls once more before dragging a hand down his neck, to his chest, and down to the waistband of his sweats. You palm him through the material, arousal blooming in your core once more as you feel how hard he is for you. Feel how much he wants you.

You stop your ministrations for a beat, separating yourself from his lips as you lick the palm of your hand, only to dip it into his sweats and boxers to wrap it around his length. You give him a small squeeze and he groans, eyes fluttering shut as his head tilts back.

You huff a laugh and lean up to kiss at his thick, warm neck, licking a stripe from his earlobe down to his pulse point. You suck a little on the skin there, loving the way he twitches in your hand. He feels so heavy and warm, and all you want to do in this moment is take care of him the way he deserves—so you do just that. You slide your body down after giving him a kiss, and the dazzling look in his eye is all you need to keep this going.

You settle your shoulders between his thighs, now face-to-face with his weeping cock. You hum before giving the silky flesh a few more tugs before leaning forward, licking the salty bead of pre cum from his slit.

“Such a pretty cock,” you praise, rolling your lips into your mouth before you look up at him. He doesn’t say anything, but you can see the flush that has taken over his neck and face in the pale moonlight. His lips are parted and his breathing is a bit ragged, and he’s just waiting for you to pounce.

Usually, you love to tease him just to see how worked up you can get him, but you’re too impatient and want to hear those delicious moans only reserved for you.

You lick a long, wet stripe on the underside of his cock before sucking his balls into your mouth, pumping his length as you gently massage him with your tongue.

“Oh, fuck me,” he groans, hand shooting out to cradle the back of your head. You hum appreciatively around him, pumping him at a steady pace now before moving your mouth up onto his shaft again. You swirl your tongue around his tip a few times before taking him all, feeling his head hit the back of your throat. Tears prick your eyes as you try to swallow around him and refrain from gagging.

“Holy fuck, baby, you like doin’ this don’t you?” His voice is a deep, raspy mess, and you clench your thighs together at the sound.

He pulls your mouth off of him, the tip of his cock coating your lips in saliva.

“Answer me. You like this, huh?”

Fuck. The possessiveness in his tone makes you want to roll your eyes into the back of your skull as you moan, but you opt for a nod as you rasp out a yes.

“Look so pretty with my cock down your throat. Can fuckin’ see it when you take all of me.”

You suck in a sharp breath before your dazed, fucked out mind conjures up the words before you even realize it. “Like this?”

You lower your mouth back onto him, and he’s spewing a string of groans and curses together, and he eventually moans your name like a prayer on Sunday when you keep deepthroating him like this. You don’t let up, either. You know your throat is going to be absolutely fucking wrecked by the time you’re done, but it doesn’t matter.

Not when you get to see him like this.

He sucks in a breath through his teeth as you let up on his length and just focus your tongue and lips on his tip, making his hips buck up involuntarily. His fiery gaze meets yours and you can tell he’s nearly a goner.

“So…fuckin’...sexy,” he grunts. You grin as you kiss his tip and flutter your eyelashes up at him, taking him in your mouth and down your throat one more time before slowly coming back up, tightening your lips around him.

“Fuck, baby, ‘m gonna–”

He doesn’t have time to finish his sentence before he’s coming undone, coating your tongue and throat with his cum. His body shudders as you slide your tongue up from his length. You swallow and wipe the saliva off of your chin with the back of your hand.

“You really are somethin’ fierce, woman,” he praises. You’re too dazed to respond, so you offer him a grin and a kiss to his thigh.

Joel tucks himself back into his boxers and pulls his sweats up, pulling your body up to his so you’re cuddled into his side. He pulls a blanket over both your bodies and kisses you, and you nuzzle your head onto his chest. His steady breathing and strong heartbeat is what does you in before you even know it.

You wake up in a bit of confusion, amidst hearing a constant buzzing noise. You’re still in the back of the truck with Joel, who’s passed out beside you. His breathing is steady and he looks so at peace, so you try not to move around so much before you finally realize that Joel’s phone is ringing.

You have to dig around a bit to find it before you lift it up and squint against the bright light, only to see he has three missed calls from Tommy. Your heart drops, because Tommy is a huge texter. He only ever calls if something’s really wrong.

“Joel,” you rasp, throat sore from your earlier escapades. His brow furrows and he softly groans, and you softly tap his shoulder. “Baby, wake up. Tommy keeps calling you.”

His eyes crack open and he sits up, grabbing the phone from you. He dials Tommy back and presses the phone to his ear, still clearly trying to wake his mind up.

You can’t ignore the anxious thrum of your heart. You have no idea what it could be about, and Joel’s face reads worry clear as day. You wrap your arm around him and kiss his shoulder in reassurance.

“Tommy, what’s going on?” Joel asks, and you can faintly hear Tommy’s voice on the other end of the line, but can’t make out the words.

“Shit, okay. I’ll be back at the house in 30 minutes.”

Joel hangs up the phone and scrubs his hands over his face before looking down at you. He gives you an apologetic smile before leaning down to kiss your forehead.

“Sorry honeybee, we have to go back home. Our captain wants everyone at the fire station in an hour. Somethin’ important he needs to tell us all.”

You furrow your brows and sit up, starting to fold the blankets and pack them away in the cab of the truck. You ride in silence for about fifteen minutes, your hand on Joel’s as his sits comfortably on your thigh. His thumb brushes back and forth in reassurance, but your mind is reeling with possibilities of what could be so important for all of them to know.

“Do you have any idea what your captain might say?”

Your voice is soft with a sleepy lull to it, and Joel looks at you for a couple of seconds with a small smile on his lips.

“No idea, baby. It has to be somethin’ big ‘cus he only calls us in like this if it’s super urgent.”

You nod in understanding, giving his hand a squeeze of reassurance. You arrive home fifteen minutes later, and Tommy greets you both at the front door. You give Tommy a hi/bye hug and Joel a kiss before they’re out the door and driving down the street.

You decide to stay in the living room. Watch a movie or something, and wait for them to come back. You settle onto the leather couch, wrapping a blanket around you as you turn the TV on and keep it at a low volume. Exhaustion sweeps through your bones as you lay still. Your eyelids get heavy, and before you even realize it, you’re out cold once again.

The front door unlocking stirs you from your sleep, and the familiar tread of boots is heard walking into the living room.

“Baby, I’m back,” Joel says.

You open your eyes and yawn, gaze landing on the clock. Eleven p.m.

“Hey,” you say, voice timid. “How’d the meeting go? Is everything okay?”

You sit up, allowing room for Joel to plop down next to you. He spreads his legs and leans his head back against the couch, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“I have to leave. Well, Tommy and I have to go. There’s a huge fire that broke out in San Angelo earlier today and it’s spreading fast. They need all hands on deck.”

You take in the information and furrow your brows, pausing for a beat before speaking. “How long will you be gone for?”

He moves his hand from the bridge of his nose and looks at you with a sad expression.

“‘M not sure, sweet girl. Could be for a few days or a few weeks. It really just depends on the conditions of the fire and the surrounding areas.”

You nod in understanding before grabbing his hand, once again squeezing it in reassurance.

“When do you and Tommy leave?”

“Tomorrow morning. Captain told us to rest up as much as possible before we head out. It doesn’t look pretty, and it’s a four hour drive for us.”

“I think you should go wake Sarah up and tell her,” you say. He nods and kisses your head before he trudges up the stairs. You turn off the TV and follow suit, settling into your side of the bed after you wash up and change into your pajamas.

Joel comes into the room a few minutes later, closing the door behind him.

“How is she?” You ask, opening the covers for him. He strips down into just his boxers before climbing into bed with you.

He nods. “She’s okay. Sad that I have to leave, but I told her you’d take real good care of her.”

You huff a laugh and nod in agreement. “That I will, Mr. Miller.”

Then realization hits you—since Tommy is leaving, that means Maria will be alone.

“Are you okay if I invite Maria to stay over here while you guys are gone? I know she can take care of herself, but I’d rather her not be alone for however long.”

“‘Course, baby. ‘S your home, too.”

And, it is, which is an aspect you’re still getting used to.

He settles into you, nuzzling his face into your chest as he inhales deeply. He kisses the skin there once before wrapping his arms around you. You rest your head on top of his, running your fingers through his hair. He falls asleep in a matter of minutes, but you remain wide awake, plagued with the thought of him going out to do his very dangerous job.

You sigh and scold yourself for even thinking about that, because even just the prospect of telling him to stay is so unbelievably selfish. You’d never actually tell him, of course, but you think it and the thought is all-consuming.

You just worry, like any partner would, but you worry even more especially after the nasty accident he had. You know he’s been doing this for a long time, but you’ve learned that fires can be unpredictable and life doesn’t deal in absolutes.

A couple of hours pass and Joel is still sound asleep, meanwhile you haven’t gotten a wink of rest. Your eyes roam to the bedside alarm clock—four fifty in the morning. You sigh softly and get up as carefully as possible, trying not to disturb Joel.

Since you can’t go to sleep, you decide to use your energy to make Joel and Tommy some lunches and a few batches of your cookies that everyone at the firehouse loves so they have something to snack on while they’re on the road.

You start with the cookies and make enough dough for at least three batches, trying to stay as quiet as possible. You hand mix everything and put the three baking sheets in the oven, setting a timer on your phone. While the cookies bake, you make both of their lunches and pack them away.

You can’t stand still and need to keep your hands busy to distract yourself from your looming thoughts, so you go ahead and make a fresh pot of coffee, too.

You pour yourself a cup and put a dash of creamer in it, taking a sip as you lean over the counter and sigh. You close your eyes and rub your temples in an attempt to ease your mind.

You hear a door open upstairs and some shuffling down the steps soon after, and a sleepy Sarah emerges.

She rubs her eyes as she gives you a small smile, making her way to the barstool that’s on the other side of the counter from you.

“You’re up early,” you muse.

“Couldn’t stay asleep,” she says, and she looks at the oven as she sees cookies baking. She raises an eyebrow. “I’m assuming you couldn’t sleep at all.”

“You’ve got that right,” you huff a laugh, taking another sip of your coffee.

“I don’t want him to go.”

Her blunt confession takes you aback, but it gives you a bit of comfort knowing you and her are in the same boat.

“I know, sweetheart.” You reach your hand out to cup hers, running your thumb back and forth over her knuckles.

“I know he’s doing this for good. I just… I don't want to see him hurt again.”

You nod in understanding. “It’s a catch twenty-two.”

She sighs, and you round the counter to bring her into a hug.

“I know it’s not much of a distraction, but how about we go get a pedicure later on? Just to relax a little.”

She nods against you before leaning back to meet your gaze. “I’d love that.”

“Great. In the meantime, are you hungry? I can make you some waffles.”

“Thank you, but I’m not super hungry right now…” she pauses, eyeing the oven. “I’d love one of your cookies, though.”

You laugh and nod, your phone timer going off at the perfect moment. You take all three sheets out of the oven and set them down on racks, letting them cool down. You serve her one before starting to clean up, and that’s when you hear Joel’s heavy footsteps make their way downstairs.

“Morning cowboy,” you tease, pouring his cup of coffee as he stares at you two in confusion.

“Mornin’…you’re both up early.” He makes his way to Sarah and kisses her hair before moving to you, giving you a chaste kiss on the lips. You hand him his cup of coffee and he wraps his arm around you and gives you a gentle squeeze.

“Thank you,” he murmurs, taking a sip.

“What time do you and Uncle Tommy need to be at the station?” Sarah asks, biting into her cookie.

Joel’s eyes glance at the clock on the stove. “Around nine.”

It’s silent for a moment, and Joel looks back and forth between you both.

“Y’all still haven’t told me why you’re both up so early.” He raises an eyebrow, looking to you for an answer.

“Couldn’t sleep,” you shrug.

“At all?”

“No. I laid there for a couple of hours before I got up to make you and Tommy some lunch and a few batches of cookies for the crew while you’re on the road.”

Joel’s eyebrows tug together. He sets his cup of coffee down, circling his arms around your waist. He holds his arm out, silently coaxing Sarah to join in. She hops down from the stool and hugs you both, and you nuzzle into them both. You all stand there for a good minute before Joel is giving you both a squeeze and kisses your heads.

It’s like the sense of dread and anxiety hung in the air, and he clocked in almost immediately.

Not much gets past him—you’ll give him that.

“I love you both very much. I’ll be alright,” he says. “I promise to check in every day when I can, okay?”

His comforting embrace and reassuring words warm your heart.

You all untangle yourselves from the embrace, and you give him a soft smile.

“We love you too, Joel. We just worry for your safety.”

“I know baby, I know. Believe me when I say there’s nothin’ I’d rather do than stay at home with you both, but this is an all hands on deck situation.”

“We’d never ask you to stay, dad. We know this is part of your job and it’s important that you’re there,” Sarah says, pausing as a tremble overtakes her bottom lip. She wraps her arms around him, voice broken and soft when she speaks next. “Just be careful, okay?”

You can see a flash of emotion in Joel’s eyes as he hugs her back, leaning his cheek on top of her head.

“I will, babygirl. I swear to you.”

You’re standing in a small group in the fire station, getting ready to send Joel and Tommy off with the rest of their crew. You’re having a conversation with them two, Maria and Sarah when one of their coworkers—Mark, you think—walks up to you, holding up the bag of cookies.

“I just have to say thank you for these. They’re the firehouse favorite.”

You grin and shrug. “Not a problem. Just a small thank you for everything you guys do.”

He smiles at you and looks at Joel. “She’s a keeper, Miller.”

Joel wraps his arm around your shoulder and kisses your temple. “I know. I’m a lucky, lucky man.”

“Alright, it’s time to head out,” their Captain calls.

You sigh and turn toward Joel. You offer him a small smile as your heart clenches with anxiety, but your expression never wavers.

Sarah gives Joel a tight hug, expression still a bit sullen. You can tell she’s trying her best to hide it, but it slips through and it’s a look you recognize all too well. You give her shoulders a squeeze of reassurance

He has that look in his eyes. The one where it’s filled with worry, with anxiousness. The same look that’s probably in yours, too.

You want to lighten the mood, so you tug him flush against your body by pulling the leather strap of his radio holster that sits across his chest. He laughs as his hands land on your waist, and you push your lips to his.

You separate from him after a few seconds, smiling softly against his lips before you pull apart just enough to see those beautiful, worried brown eyes.

“Be careful out there, cowboy. I love you.”

He squeezes your hips. “I will, baby. I love you too.”

He leans down to give you one more peck on the lips before he moves to say goodbye to Maria. You do the same to Tommy, wrapping your arms around him and giving him a soft little peck on the cheek.

“Take care of each other, yeah? Life’s a lot more fun when you’re both here with us, unharmed.” You look between Joel and Tommy with a sternness they’ve never seen before.

Tommy’s eyes crinkle as he smiles at you, his dimple showing up along with a flash of white teeth.

“You got it, boss.”

He salutes you, and you sidle up beside Sarah and Maria as you wave them both goodbye. They climb into the same truck, and they’re on their way to San Angelo.

Two weeks have passed, and Joel still isn’t home. He keeps his promise on checking in every day when he can, sometimes shorter conversations than others, but you’re grateful nonetheless.

Today, your siblings all agreed that a lunch was much needed between you four so you could all catch up. It was the perfect distraction, and with Sarah at school and Maria at work, you agree immediately. It’s so odd being in an empty house when you’re not on the clock, and since you’d finished with your clients early, you had the rest of the day to yourself.

You meet up with them at a local diner, slipping into the booth next to Emily. She has a small belly now, and you lean down to air kiss it before greeting her, Andy and Cole.

“I’m so glad we got to do this,” Emily says, and you all nod in agreement.

“I know. It’s been awhile since I’ve harassed you guys,” Andy jokes. You roll your eyes and throw your crumbled up straw wrapper at him.

“So how goes it?” Cole asks, leaning back in the booth. The young waitress stops by your table to take your orders before collecting the menus, and Emily starts.

“Things have been great, actually. Baby boy is healthy and Josh got promoted at work.” She runs a hand over her belly, and your eyes light up.

“I’m so happy for you, Emi. How does Josh like the promotion?”

“It’s great, really. He gets more time off now, especially to come with me to my appointments, and he got a pretty significant increase in his salary.”

“That’s so good. I still can’t believe you’re having a kid. My nephew is gonna be a little stud with the coolest uncles,” Andy says.

“What am I, chopped liver?” You laugh, rolling your eyes.

“You’re only semi-cool. You’re with a cool guy, though, so I guess that raises your points.”

“God, you men are so fucking weird with your logic sometimes.”

“Yeah yeah,” Andy waves your words away, before his expression gets a bit more serious. “How is he though? How’s Tommy?”

“They’re okay. They’re exhausted, though. The fire had spread rapidly because of the winds, and they’re still in the process of containment, but I think it’s almost at one hundred percent.”

“Fuck. I can’t even imagine. We had a pretty dry winter too, which probably didn’t help much,” Cole says. You shake your head and gnaw on your lip, deciding to change the subject for your own sanity. Emily senses it, because your sister knows you like the back of her hand, and she finds your hand folded in your lap and gives it a reassuring squeeze. You squeeze right back.

“So what’s been going on with you two? Anything new?” You look between your brothers, and the waitress drops off your food before they can say anything.

Cole’s eyes avert to the basket of fries in front of him, and you raise an eyebrow as you watch him carefully. He finally opens his mouth to speak, but snaps it shut when Andy starts to talk.

“Not much. Work is good. Can’t complain.” Andy shrugs his shoulders and takes a bite of his burger, and you nod before looking back to Cole. You nudge his foot under the table and his gaze snaps up to yours, and you give him an encouraging smile.

“That’s good, Andy,” Emily says.

“I, uh, I met someone,” Cole starts. Everyone’s eyes shift to him, and he sports a small smile. “It’s still pretty new, though, so that’s why I haven’t mentioned it before.”

“Hell yeah, brother. Happy for you,” Andy claps Cole’s shoulder and he smiles.

“Where did you meet?” You ask, popping a fry into your mouth.

“Met her at the bar we went to a few months back. Finally bucked up and asked her on a date a couple of weeks ago, and it’s been going good ever since.”

Although Cole seems to exude confidence, you know he’s more on the shy side when it comes to romance. You and him have always been the shy kids, while Andrew and Emily were outgoing and bubbly. When Emily first told you to put yourself out there with Joel, the shy shell of a woman you used to be went into fight or flight mode—but she ultimately ended up being right.

You can hear it now: That’s what big sisters are for.

You’re grateful you and your siblings are all close in age. Although you’ve all fought over stupid, miniscule things that seemed like the whole world when you were younger, you all ended up being very close, which is something you’ll never take for granted.

“That’s great, Cole. I hope we can meet her when you’re comfortable enough to bring her around our crazy family,” Emily laughs, and you all chime in and chuckle along.

“I think Josh and Joel can attest to that,” you say. “I told him he could’ve run for the hills before Emi’s wedding, but that man stuck by my side and told me he wanted to meet all of you.”

“Now that—” Cole swallows his bite of food, “—Is a real man.”

“And look at how happy he’s made you. I love seeing you together, especially after everything you’ve been through,” Emily says.

Andy’s face turns sour, frowning at the vague mention of your ex. “If I ever see him in person again I won’t hesitate to deck him in the face.”

You didn’t have to question who he was. You already knew. “Get in line, Andy. Joel has first dibs.”

The corner of his mouth lifts up in amusement before he reaches out to you, palm upward, making a ��give me’ motion with his fingers.

“Give me my ticket.”

You laugh and push his hand away, and lighter conversation ensues the rest of lunch.

The waitress drops the check off at the table, and you mumble that you’ll Zelle whoever pays as the other three fight over the check. Your phone rings and you pull it out of your pocket to see who it is.

Your eyebrows furrow as you see your attorney’s name across the screen of your phone. You slide the answer button over and cover your other ear so you can hear him better.

“Hello?”

“Hey! Long time no talk. I have some good news,” he says.

“Hey, yeah, how are you? What’s the news?”

“I’m good, but even better now—apparently whoever hit you in your accident was some big wig’s kid, and the parents want to pay you out a big amount for your car and, as they said, ‘any emotional damage caused by this accident’.”

“Oh fuck,” you say. You rub your forehead with your thumb and forefinger. “Sorry, sorry. Uh—how much?”

In all honesty, you’d sort of forgotten about your accident because so much has happened in your life since that day. You smile fondly at the memory of Joel kissing you in the back of that ambulance, within only hours of knowing each other at that point.

You had no idea that it would’ve led to this. A good life with an even greater man.

“They sent out a check to your house, but I think it’s in the hundred thousands range.”

Your eyes bug out of your head and your jaw drops.

“I’m sorry, what?”

Your siblings all look at you in confusion, but you still can’t wipe the look of shock off of your face.

Your attorney laughs at your initial reaction, but you’re still in utter disbelief.

You can’t even fathom that kind of money, but you’re sure your attorney is used to those kinds of numbers.

“Yeah, so keep a lookout for a check in the mail,” he says.

“Um, yeah, will do. Thanks for giving me a call.”

“Of course. I’ll touch base with you if anything else comes up.”

You say goodbye and hang up, and you meet your siblings’ gazes.

And, with a small smile, you pluck the bill from Andy’s hands. “Actually, lunch is on me today.”

You almost fall over when you open the envelope with your check in it.

Half a million dollars. You don’t know who the hell this kid’s parents are, but writing a check for five hundred thousand is fucking insane.

You stare at the numbers in disbelief as you sit at the edge of the bed, sun casting its brilliant golden glow across the paper in your hands. The paper that reads half a million fucking dollars. It’s like a jackpot lighting up in Vegas or something.

You don’t know how long you stare, but if you did any longer, your eyes would burn holes in the paper. You slide the check back in the envelope and put it in your underwear drawer underneath your sports bras, because you honestly just can’t believe that it’s real.

And later that night, when Joel FaceTimes everyone to say hi and check in, you don’t say a word about it.

It’s not that you want to keep it from him, but you have an idea of what you’d like to do with a portion of the money, and you’d rather keep that idea a surprise for the time being.

You trudge upstairs once more after Maria and Sarah say goodnight to Joel and Tommy, but Joel tells you to stay on the phone. He watches you do your night routine before you slip into an old oversized Texas A&M sweatshirt of his, sliding into bed.

“I miss my woman somethin’ awful,” his deep voice rings through the phone. You look at the screen and sigh, a small smile settling onto your lips. He looks so exhausted, and all you want is for him to be safe at home again. By your side in bed.

“I miss you too, handsome. How’s it looking out there?”

He groans as he settles onto a bed himself folding an arm to lay his hand behind his head.

“‘S kickin’ our asses. Embers from the original fire sparked a new one. It’s smaller, but these winds ain’t helping a damn thing.”

“Oh, honey, I’m so sorry to hear that,” you say, gnawing on your lip as your eyebrows furrow in worry. “I feel awful that I can’t do anything to help.”

“There is one thing,” he says. You recognize the tone in his voice—want.

“What’s on your mind, Mr. Miller?”

“You wearin’ my old sweatshirt?” He asks.

You purse your lips and nod, watching how his expression turns lustful and determined in the confines of his temporary bedroom.

“Wearing it ‘cus it smells like you,” you confess.

A groan rips from his throat and scrapes low in your belly, and your eyes flutter shut as you feel slick already beginning to pool from the heat between your legs.

“Are we really gonna do this?” You huff a laugh, raising an eyebrow at him.

“I was a touch-starved man before I met you, baby. Then you go n’ spoil me with your pretty hands that can’t seem to keep to themselves.”

“You could always tell me to stop, you know,” you purr. There’s some shuffling on the other end, and you see his heavy lidded eyes gaze at you.

“I’d be insane to do so, darlin’.”

“Would you?”

He moans softly, and you realize he’s probably rubbing himself up. God, you wish that was your hand.

“Mhm. Love when your hands are all over me, especially wrapped around my dick.”

You can’t help but giggle, and a ghost of a smile curls at the corner of his lips.

“Love that sound, too,” he adds.

“You know what I love?” Your voice is teetering on the edge of a seductive whisper.

“Hm?”

“I love when my big, strong hunk of a man makes me feel so loved and protected. Allows me to delve into my femininity. Uses his strong hands and thick fingers to make me see stars.”

You realize you’re probably babbling at this point, but your words seem to do the job just fine. Joel’s eyebrows pinch together and that all-too familiar muscle in his jaw ticks wildly.

“Turn the camera around, Joel. Show me.”

He doesn’t hesitate to flip the camera around to face the impressive outline of his cock in the gray sweats he’s wearing. Your thighs clench together at the sight, imagining what it’d be like to grind on him until he came undone. Hear his moans and strings of curses as he reaches his peak.

“Fuck, honey,” you whine.

“This is what you do t’me, baby.”

His voice almost sounds pained, but you know it’s because he’s held in so much tension the past couple of weeks with no way to release it. You’d do anything to distract his mind from the exhaustion he feels and fires at hand, even if it’s for a brief few moments.

You decide to be a little raunchy, because fuck, you’re already in this position, and you want to be a good distraction—again—even if it’s brief.

You make a show of yourself sliding your fingers down the valley of your breasts and down your stomach, wasting no time to reach your desired destination. You swipe your middle and ring finger through your slick folds, coating them in your arousal before you bring your fingers up to show the camera—to show Joel—how much he turns you on.

You separate your fingers, and a string of your slick connects between the two.

“This is what you do to me.”

Joel all but growls at the sight, slipping his hand into his sweatpants to grab his aching cock. You can just imagine how warm and heavy it feels in his big palm, and you sigh at the thought.

“Fuck, baby. Be a good girl n’ touch yourself for me.”

He’s breathless, but the sound sends shockwaves through your body as more slick gushes eagerly from your aching, needy center.

You slip your two fingers in your mouth, humming around them as you taste the tangy-sweet flavor of yourself.

“Shit,” he says, a moan scraping from his throat. You grin like the Cheshire Cat before slipping your fingers down again, alternating between rubbing your clit slowly and dipping your fingertips into your cunt.

You flip the camera around to show him, and it sounds like he nearly whines from the sight. You suck in a breath as you stop teasing yourself, slipping the two fingers fully into yourself. You pump them languidly, and hearing Joel’s ragged breath and gasps on the other end of the line has you writhing.

“You don’t know how bad I wish these were your fingers and not mine,” you gasp out, grinding your hips up into your palm.

“Oh don’t worry baby,” he pants, “‘M gonna give you everythin’ you need n’ more when I come back.”

“That a promise?”

“Mmm—mhm.”

He matches the stroke of his cock with the pump of your fingers then.

“Can’t wait to be buried in that pretty little pussy. Take me so well. Fuckin’ made for me, baby. So fuckin’ tight n’ warm. ‘S like a dream,” he babbles, and you have to bite down on the collar of the sweatshirt to keep a moan ripping from your throat.

”Need your mouth all over me too, Joel,” you cry, “Love it when you let me cum by your tongue.”

“Yeah? Next time I’ll have you usin’ my face as a fuckin’ seat. Hold you down so you have no choice but to cum in my mouth over n’ over again.”

“Oh, god.”

“You like that, huh? The thought of fuckin’ my face to get you off?”

The words die on your tongue as you try to speak, but the pleasure that was once a low burn in your belly is now its own full-fledged sun. It’s so white hot and you’re on the edge, gripping the phone in your hand for dear life.

“Answer me,” he growls.

“Fuck, yes! Yes yes yes,” you whisper-cry, and you’re unraveling before him on camera. You soak your hand and undoubtedly the sheets beneath you, but that’s a tomorrow problem. Your body convulses a few times and you moan as you see the white spurts of cum land on his stomach. He moans your name like a prayer on Sunday, and it makes you shiver with seemingly untamable arousal.

He breathes heavily before grabbing a tissue to clean himself up, tucking himself back into his sweats before he flips the camera back around to his face.

His cheeks and neck are flushed, and you can see the sweat on his forehead as he tries to steady out his breathing. You stretch and roll over on your side, laying your head on his pillow to inhale his scent.

“I love you, my honeybee.”

You smile at the nickname and yawn, stretching your limbs one more time before curling in on yourself.

“I love you too, cowboy. I can’t wait ‘til you’re next to me in bed again.”

“I can’t wait either, darlin’. I hope this is all over with soon n’ I can love on you the way you deserve.”

You grin sleepily at his words, post-coital drowsiness wrapping around your body like a weighted blanket.

“Stay safe out there.”

“I will. I promise.”

And you’re fast asleep soon after you hang up. You dream blissfully of life with Joel in the fields by the ranch, of your future with him, of the memories you’ve yet to create.

You dream of Joel happy and safe, not an ounce of the beautiful man troubled.

But this is real life. This isn’t a fantasy where you can wish good things for people and it just magically happens at the snap of a finger, a rub of a lamp.

His resolve was slowly crumbling. The weight of the world was sitting steady on his shoulders, breaking him down piece by piece.

Each broken fragment of him, scattered and fragile, lay in your hands—

and this time, it was up to you to put him back together.

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#fic: a burning desire #joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller smut #joel miller x reader #firefighter!au #firefighter!joel miller #joel miller fic #joel miller fanfic #joel miller fluff #joel miller angst #joel fic #joel x reader #pedro pascal characters #joel miller series

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wonallofme · 2 days ago

Text

pinching!

tw and tags: bully!heeseung x plus size!fem!reader, descriptions of bullying, a lot of physical contact, noncon then heavy dubcon, oral sex (f receiving). word count: 2.3k note: originally written with a different idol in mind, this fic was already posted in my old blog. while talking to one of my best friends in the app we decided to re-post old fics for fun and idk why but while checking some of them I felt this one fitted Hee. I changed it a lot tho. anyway, hope someone here likes the concept. i’m a big fan of plus size/chubby reader but haven’t had the opportunity to talk about it here in the blog yet so, if you like it too, please don’t hesitate to hit my (empty) inbox! special thanks to fairy for being my first-ever beta reader ❤️

You have a couple of memories from that place, like how good it felt to hug your grandmother before bed, how there was a little stall in front of your school that always had tasty sweets, and how there was a little boy you used to walk home with after classes finished.

There wasn’t much objection once your mother said you would go back and live together in your grandmother's place not to leave the house empty. You had a couple of friends, but it was nothing special, so you said goodbye to them and moved with your mother without problem.

You had to admit you were kind of happy to move. Yeah, you wouldn’t be able to hug your grandmother, but at least you would feel her presence with the old floors and flower decorations that surrounded every room. Perhaps you could eat those sweets again, and there was the chance of making new friends too. Good things could come, you thought.

If you’re honest, you just hoped you could see him again.

You should've known at that point in your life that having expectations only leaves the sour aftertaste of disappointments.

The stall wasn’t there anymore, the entire house had changed because of your mother's decision, leaving no trace of your grandmother behind, and the sweet boy that used to follow you with a smile now followed you to make fun of you.

It was easy to recognize him. He had the same eyes and shiny smile, and you were elated to see a good, old friend all grow up into a real man. Sadly, he wasn’t as happy as you to see you again, showing you a disgusted face once you told him who you were.

‘’Don’t fucking talk to me,’’ he said, and you didn’t understand what you had done wrong. Perhaps you were too confident, your perfume wasn’t to his liking, or your hand was sweating too much when you touched him. You honestly had no idea why he reacted like that, but you understood that, just like his appearance, he had changed too.

After all, that sweet boy you used to know would’ve never talked to you that way.

That interaction alone was enough to make you never want to approach him again. You didn’t want to hear that tone or see that expression again, so you did your best. You avoided him in the hallway, you stayed in your seat not to cross his way during breaks, and you didn’t look his way when you recognized his voice.

It was all useless though.

You had become his new favourite thing.

At first, he was all words and no bite. He’d throw comments every now and then about your physical appearance, like comparing you to a pig when you ate your lunch in the cafeteria or mocking your uniform for being bigger than normal because of your size.

His friends only laughed at these comments, and those who weren’t his friends stayed silent. They were different groups but shared one same trait– None dared to approach you, afraid of receiving the same treatment from him.

Then, he started to touch you.

He pinched your arm, telling you to give him your homework to copy it. Later, it was your cheeks, telling you to stop eating if you didn’t want to gain weight. Finally, one day, when everyone had left for the PE class while you were searching for your towel in your seat, approaching you silently from behind, he pinched your waist.

Scared, you turned to him. It had hurt a lot more than when he did it to your cheeks. You knew that, more than to bother you or call your attention, like on the other occasions, he had done it with all the intention of hurting you.

When you looked at his face, you noticed that his typical grin wasn’t there, replaced by a surprised expression and curious eyes instead. Somehow, you felt that something bad was about to happen, so you pushed him out of the way and walked out of there as soon as you could without caring that you were leaving with empty hands.

‘’Where’s your towel?’’ your teacher asked you.

‘’I forgot it,’’ you answered, not wanting to return to the classroom.

Later, Heeseung arrived with your towel in his hand, and you got punished for not bringing all the obligatory material.

He got worse.

if he crossed you in the hallways, he would shamelessly pinch your waist until you hissed, and when he found you in the library, between shelves, he would pinch your ass, grinning from ear to ear at the picture of you biting your lips not to make a sound so you wouldn’t get in trouble again.

As if everything he did was an innocent game, he smiled at you after nipping different parts of your body, like the side of your ribcage when you decided to walk away from his teasing, the back of your hand when you tried to push him away, or your thighs when he sat beside you in the cafeteria or the study room.

‘’Why are you doing this?’’ you whispered, pushing his hand away from prying under your skirt and pinching your upper leg.

‘’Look at all that skin,’’ he answered, grabbing your round hand with force to stop you from getting away. ‘’Your body is begging for it.’’

When you tried to do it again, to get away from his hands, he pinched the space of your chest that your bra didn’t cover.

Making you whimper in pain, he laughed at your hurt expression.

‘’It really hurts!’’ you tried to reason with him, but he was a lost cause. It didn’t matter that you were full of little purple and green spots, flinching at the mere sight of him lurking around, he wanted more.

This is going to end at one point, you tried to tell yourself.

He’d get tired and leave you alone when he found a new toy. It was impossible he only focused on you the entire time, and even if it was like that, it was your last year. After that, you prayed, you’d never see him again.

Everything comes to an end.

Your house was the only safe space you had. Even if it wasn’t anything like the warm memory you had about it, it was a place that had never been tainted by Heeseung, unlike your school, or the streets you walked to arrive there.

Sometimes, he would follow you while murmuring insults, pretending to be a good friend walking you home. Nonetheless, once you opened your entrance door and saw that he stayed feet away, you would exhale, relieved that he didn’t try to follow you inside, too.

‘’Your friend is waiting for you in your room,’’ your mother smiled. ‘’I’ll go and buy something for you to eat later’’

She, unlike you, was excited to have him there, and you, trying to breathe properly not to show how the panic was consuming you, nodded.

‘’He’s become such a handsome man,’’ she murmured before leaving.

There was nothing you could do to run away, it was your house, and opening your room door, you saw him calmly looking at your stuff.

Your pillow wasn’t where you left it, so it was impossible to deny he had been roaming around for a while, invading your space and doing whatever he wanted, like he always did.

Standing in front of your bookshelf, one of your diaries open in his hands, he sensed your presence.

‘’Didn’t know you took so many walks, thought you would never come,’’ he said, passing the page and inspecting its content as if there was something in particular he was looking for. ‘’It doesn’t explain why you still look like that though.’’

‘’Heeseung, I’ve done nothing to you,’’ you sounded as if you were begging at that point. ‘’Why– I just don’t get why.’’

‘’I have my reasons,’’ he answered, closing the book and leaving it where it previously was.

You flinched when he showed the intention of getting close to you. Your hands became fists behind you, fully alert, one of them gripping the knob, ready to run into another room in case he tried to hurt you again.

‘’We were friends,’’ you said, lower lip slightly trembling. ‘’Please, stop. It hurts, Heeseung. It hurts a lot.’’

He saw you like that, broken, vulnerable, and he beamed.

Walking towards you, you thought your body would listen to you and escape, but it didn’t.

As you remained frozen in your place, caging you with his body, he finished closing the door behind you. Too late, you only reacted after hearing the loud click the secure did.

You started trembling as you realised he had blocked the only way of running away you had.

‘’But if I don’t touch you, who else will?’’ he whispered, taking your shaking hand in his.

Not pinching it this time, he interlocked his fingers with yours and pulled you closer to him. Your torso compacting his made you more conscious of how you were completely alone in your room, and, therefore, of how unrestrained he was allowed to act.

‘’If you’re good, I’ll stop being so hard on you. What do you think about that?’’ he offered.

You didn’t understand him. Being good with what?

Looking up at him, you couldn’t move your chest from pressing his because his other hand, forcing you to stay in your place, went to rest over the small of your back, the generous curve from your ass to your waist that was the object of so many of his jokes.

You could see where his actions were going.

You felt yourself get nauseous with his body temperature and his aroma suffocating you due to the inexistent distance between your bodies.

‘’My mom will come back in any second…’’ you didn’t know what other excuse to use.

‘’I’ll be quick,’’ he smiled, wetting his lips, unconsciously sending a signal to your brain that screamed for you to just be good and get it over with.

‘’Will it hurt?’’ Your face betrayed you, plainly showing all the fears you had, giving him, once again, the upper hand.

‘’Not anymore,’’ he assured you. His hand that used to bring you so much pain suddenly became gentle and trailed up, caressing your arm with multiple marks created by him before finding your chest, and groping it with obvious satisfaction a few times, he felt them until he decided he wanted to touch more of you.

His hands continued their way until he found his new goal.

He cupped your face with a tenderness you had never met from him before, and not wanting to provoke him in any way, you muted yourself.

To his unpleasant care, thumbs caressing your cheeks, you didn’t make a single noise, not the hiss you always let out when he pinched you, nor the cry when he painfully rubbed your soft skin.

‘’Well done,’’ he praised you, proud of what he recognised as your acceptance.

He expected you to continue being so obedient when he obliged your thighs to open with his knee.

Quickly, he found his place.

You didn’t know what to expect, but you never imagined the situation would end with him ditching your pants somewhere in your room and desperately dropping to his knees so he could accommodate between your trembling legs, slurping all the involuntary wetness your body made you drip not to suffer when the moment of taking him arrived.

Not being able to call his name properly, you whined when his palms gripped your meaty thighs a bit too hard and his tongue found your entrance, penetrating it with sloppy stabs.

The sensation of the tip of his nose bumping against your clit and his fingers separating your plump folds made you bite your lips to stop what felt like a moan.

He was eating you out like a starved man.

Your hands went to his hair, and you have no idea what flooded you, but you felt free to hurt him too.

You wanted him to suffer too.

Full of unknown courage, you pulled his hair and moved your hips to crush his face, using him instead of the other way around.

Then, it felt good– To hurt him felt way too good.

You thought, maybe this is why he does it, because you had never felt so powerful and in control before, especially, with him.

Looking down, you two made eye contact even with your chubby stomach prodding out.

His eyes had nothing of the mockery they always showed. Instead, they were completely lost, drunk and unfocused. You couldn’t contain your moans anymore when his eyes batted and he seemed pleased to have your attention on him.

Not much after he started fucking you harder with his tongue, the knot in your stomach started to feel so tight you knew it would snap in any second.

Without intention, or maybe with all the intention, you closed your large legs around his head, not caring that you were crushing his face as you strongly came over his mouth and nose.

He mewled, hugging your legs as you asphyxiated him for many seconds before your orgasm finished and you inevitably relaxed.

Just after giving him everything you had, you finally allowed him to breathe.

You freed him from your hold, but he didn’t move away immediately.

Gulping your remaining juices, he hardly inhaled once through his nose before he started licking the drops of your orgasm inside your thighs, leaving a trail of kisses along the way until he found his new favourite thing.

With both hands on the back of your thighs, he blinked multiple times before his tongue found its way between your folds, searching for your clit to leave a last loving lick.

As if he was proud you had abused him, only separating forcedly because of your hands pushing his head away from your sensitive clit, he took open-mouthed deep breaths with a still dazed expression.

Regaining some of his senses, he talked with the lower half of his face glistening.

‘’See? This didn’t hurt, right?’’ he smiled.

#─★dark enhypen #─★heeseung #─★fanfic #─★plus size reader #tw dubcon #enhypen smut #heeseung smut #enhypen x reader #enhypen hard thoughts #enhypen hard hours #enha smut #heeseung x reader

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autistic-zukoao3 · 2 days ago

Text

IT'S MY TIME TO SHINE

My hometown used to be called Hog Heaven because well, it was heaven for hogs. There used to be a lot of prairie land that wild boars would live in. We had thousands of wild hogs. Fast forward ~100 years and now there are a lot more human and hog interactions due to housing being built farther and farther.

When I was a kid, everyone knew you stayed the fuck out of fields because that's where the hogs lived. At least, everyone local knew this. It was such common knowledge that nobody thought to make sure adults knew this.

I went to a day camp near one of the hog fields, but far enough away that we didn't have to worry about them. We could go outside and play without worry. It was, in terms of closeness to hogs, a perfect place for that building to be located. Employed at this day camp were, primarily, college students. Most of them either walked or biked to work. Now, remember earlier how I said the idea of warning adults about the hogs and their fields didn't really cross anyone's mind? Yeah.

Enter the scene, worker "Drew" (changing his name for anonymity). Drew was everyone's favourite at the camp since he was the nicest and most likely to play. Well, I shouldn't say everyone's favourite. Some kids were down bad for another worker.

Anyway.

So on this particular day, Drew decided that he wanted to take a shortcut to the building. A shortcut through... *tense silence* *tense silence* *tense silence* the field.

The Field had grass(?) that was roughly 6 feet tall. Picture a lion in a savanna, you know? That type of vibe. You couldn't really see for shit in the grass. The ground was also very uneven and full of gopher holes among other various rodent dens. The dirt was pretty loose too, a thick coating of top soil. The few times I walked through it (at that time the hogs had been forced out though) I had a very hard time walking without tripping every other step. So, that was the terrain that Drew put himself in.

Just like most of the others, Drew was a college student from out of state. (Apparently lived in Italy for a bit as a kid and fended off some robbers with a light saber once, but that's not relevant.) Being nonlocal, Drew was completely unaware of our hogs, and thought a shortcut through the field would be a great adventure.

He was wrong.

Drew reported that everything was fine at first. He was struggling a bit with all the holes, but that wasn't a big issue. Minutes passed as Drew stumbled along, careful to not step in any gopher homes. The birds chirped and the grass rustled softly in the summer breeze.

And then he heard it.

Loud, angry snorts. Then, the sound of something digging into dirt, like a bull preparing to charge. Drew was not about to fuck around and find out. He began to jog, only to hear the sound of thundering cloven feet behind him. Drew breaks into a dead sprint, adrenaline and instinct taking over as he deftly avoids holes, and keeps himself balanced on the loose silt underfoot. His heart hammers in his chest as whatever is giving chase lets out an ungodly, squealing scream. Drew runs ever faster, monkey brain having fully taken over at this point. Finally, he can just make out the street ahead, peeking through the breaks in the grass. Salvation is blessedly within sight. With a final pump of pure adrenaline, Drew breaks through the grass and into the road, not stopping until he reaches the other side. Once he does, he turns around to see a massive boar huffing at the edge of the grass, proud tusks on display.

Drew did not take the shortcut again.

Also he was very sweaty upon his arrival, and I've never seen a man look so haunted yet so full of energy.

not only are wild boars dangerous but farmers still keep having fatal and almost fatal encounters with domestic piggies. I’m a pig enthusiast. nobody really thinks about how dangerous they are. they have a reputation for eating human bodies for a reason. 700 pound incredibly stubborn and smart omnivorous animals with remarkably sharp teeth. usually they’re friends but when they’re foes, they’re terrible foes.

#zuko rambles

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servndipityz · 1 day ago

Note

namgyu with alternative reader? perchance.. smut🫶🫶😁

a/n ── i'm so nervous about this one! i hope i didn't do a terrible job on portraying alt culture (i know nothing about it). i kinda tried to make it not super specific so anyone can feel identified. again, sorry if it's lowkey bad. it's also my first time writing smut, believe it or not, but i've had years of experience reading it so i don't think it's that bad. enjoy :)

STRIPPED

warnings ── smut, +18 MDNI!!! porn w plot. drug usage, sex under the influence, sex in a club, fingering, orgasm denial, degradation, light choking, kinda brat taming? p in v, unprotected sex, creampie.

word count ── 4.6k

he'd ended up there. of course, he'd ended up there. only someone as unlucky as him could wind up at some fucking goth party. or punk. or… whatever. he didn't really care about the whole thing—the dramatic makeup, the dyed hair, the incredibly loud music blaring through the club. none of it.

nam-gyu had envisioned a chill night on his free day, but no. of course, his co-worker had to get sick. of course, nam-gyu owed him money for the pills he'd given him last week. of course, he had to cover for him that night.

and, of course, it was alternative night at club pentagon. usually, his co-worker handled these kinds of nights—special events, themed parties, all that.

what did nam-gyu know about alternative culture anyway? he wondered the same thing as he weaved through the crowd, making sure everyone was having a good time, keeping an eye on bar sales.

so far, he'd been stepped on twice—not too bad, except when it came from one of those platform boots everyone seemed to be wearing. those hurt like hell. but at least the night was going smoothly. for now.

so good, in fact, that nam-gyu figured it was time for a drink. he'd been working for hours, making sure this party ran smoothly. he owed that co-worker a lot of drug money, and this was the only way to settle it. it’s not like he’d ever do this out of the kindness of his heart.

he made his way to the nearest counter, resting his elbows on the cool marble as he waited for someone to take his order. he couldn't help but wonder how anyone could actually dance to this loud-ass english music that sounded more like screaming. he'd take the regular techno dj any day.

meanwhile, you finished pouring a vodka red bull and handed it off to yet another customer. that's when you noticed him.

he stood out—not in a good way.

hunched over the counter, inspecting it like he might find some cocaine stuck in it (which, honestly, he probably would if he looked hard enough), looking like a wet rat. his clothes gave him away. who even let him in like that? plain black shirt, black jeans, a couple of rings.

he looked up as you approached.

his first thought was that your leather top made your tits poke out. his second was that, without all that emo makeup, you'd actually be pretty cute.

his third was what the highest-alcohol-content drink he could order was.

he opened his mouth to ask, eyes flicking to the bottles behind you—

but you spoke first.

"you're ruining the vibe, man."

he frowned, caught off guard.

you just raised an eyebrow, speaking over the loud music. "i said, you're ruining the vibe."

"i'm not doing anything," he scoffed, annoyed. he just wanted to order his damn drink. last thing he needed was some lecture.

"exactly," you said. "you don't belong here. what are you even doing?"

not like you actually cared. you were here to do your job, bartend, make money, go home. but this guy—standing there, stiff shoulders, sharp jawline, judging everything and everyone, probably without even realizing it—looking at you like that, eyes dragging over you like you were some kind of curiosity—

yeah. he rubbed you the wrong way.

being alternative, you already got judged enough. the last thing you needed was someone doing it at an alternative party.

he frowned even further. "i'm here to work. not that it's any of your business."

that caught you off guard for a second. "you work here?" your head tilted, curiosity slipping into your tone. you leaned over the counter, the neckline of your top shifting just a little lower. who knew—if this guy was someone important, you had to use all your charms. especially after being so rude. "i've never seen you around, and i always bartender at these kinds of parties."

his gaze flickered down your cleavage before snapping back to your eyes. but you saw it. the way his jaw clenched, the way he suddenly looked more annoyed than before—like he was mad at himself for looking.

"i'm not thrilled either," he mumbled, clearly uninterested in conversation. "just covering for a friend. now, could you actually do your job and get me something to drink?"

you bristled at his tone, raising a brow as you turned to the shelves of bottles. "jeez, someone's grumpy. what can i get you?"

in reality, nam-gyu wasn't grumpy. well, he was, but that was just how he was. it was just... for some reason, you made him nervous. the girls he usually dealt with at clubs were boring bitches trying to get a VIP card or whatever drugs he had in his pocket.

you were the opposite. rude. annoying. and he didn’t like that. but for some reason, it made his blood rush somewhere else, clouding his brain.

"just give me a shot," he said after a pause. "something strong."

you turned your head slightly, a smile playing on your lips—the kind that sent a shiver down his spine. you walked back to the counter, reaching for a bottle hidden underneath.

"drinking on the job?" you asked while pouring the liquid into a shot glass, then casually grabbing a second one.

nam-gyu let out a short, amused huff. if drinking was the worst thing he’d done on the job, he’d be in a much better place. but he watched curiously as you poured the second shot, his eyes flicking up through his lashes, brow slightly raised.

"what?" you asked playfully. "if you’re doing it, so can i."

you finally set the bottle back and raised your glass. he mirrored you, his eyes never leaving yours. there was something in his expression—almost a smile. you entertained him.

"cheers," you said, clinking your glass against his before downing the shot in one go. he followed suit, setting the glass back on the counter, suppressing a grimace at the sharp burn of alcohol.

“so,” you said, clearing your throat slightly after the shot. “who’s the friend you’re covering for?”

nam-gyu said the name, and your eyes widened.

“that junkie, huh?” you smirked. he chuckled. “yeah, i know him. he’s a little more talkative than you, though.”

nam-gyu narrowed his eyes. “what’s that supposed to mean?”

“nothing. it’s okay to be shy.” your voice was innocent, teasing, calculated. you'd decided that you'd had enough, that you might as well have some fun. “anyway, my shift’s almost over. wanna get out of here?”

“i’m not shy.” he sounded offended, then glanced away, considering your offer. “and i told you, i’m working.”

you huffed. “fine. just needed someone to smoke this with." you reached into your back pocket and pulled out a tiny zip-lock bag filled with greens. "guess i'll have to find somebody else."

now that caught his attention. maybe almost as much as your exposed skin did. suddenly, he was interested. but also suspicious.

“what do you have?” he asked, leaning slightly over the counter, his voice lower, more serious.

“your junkie friend gave it to me for a gig i did. said it’s good shit.” you shrugged, playing it cool, acting uninterested—like you didn’t know exactly what you were doing. and he took the bait.

“why would you wanna share it with me?” he still sounded wary, but there was something else in his tone now. curiosity. maybe even something close to interest.

you groaned dramatically. “look, i’m heading to the staff room. you coming or not?” you said, already turning away, signaling to your co-worker that your shift was over.

now, nam-gyu didn’t need weed. not exactly. he could probably find ten of those zip-lock bags hidden in his place, forgotten in favor of other, harder drugs. but he also wasn’t the kind of guy to say no to free drugs.

especially not from such a petty girl.

you grinned to yourself as you felt him rush to walk behind you, trailing after you through the club like he didn’t know the way like the back of his hand.

as you reached the hallway leading to the staff room, nam-gyu couldn’t help but let his gaze linger on your half-ripped fishnets, the way they framed your legs under that short black skirt. was he here for the weed or for you? he wasn’t really sure, and he didn’t care much.

you finally reached the door, slipping past a few couples too caught up in each other to notice, and he shut it behind him. the staff room was small, dingy, and reeked of bleach and cigarette smoke, but you still sank onto the worn-out sofa next to the table like it was the most comfortable place in the world.

you leaned back, stretching your legs out just enough for your skirt to ride up slightly. not too much—just enough to make him notice. and he did.

nam-gyu stood near the door for a second, like he was reconsidering this, before scoffing to himself and dropping onto the couch beside you. he was close, not touching, but enough that the warmth of him was noticeable. enough that when he exhaled, you could feel the faintest brush of his breath against your shoulder.

"roll it," he said, nodding at the bag in your hand.

you raised an eyebrow. "you're really bad at asking nicely, huh?"

he just looked at you, serious. "you’re really bad at shutting up."

that made you laugh. he was watching you now—really watching you—as you pulled out the papers, fingers working effortlessly, licking the edge just to see his reaction. you weren’t disappointed. his jaw flexed again, his eyes dark, tracking your every move like he was trying to pretend he didn’t care. like he wasn’t already leaning back, manspreading, trying to act like he had the upper hand here.

cute.

you tucked the blunt between your lips, lighting it, taking a slow drag before passing it to him.

nam-gyu hesitated, just for a split second, then took it, bringing it to his mouth. his fingers brushed yours in the handoff, and it was stupid how that tiny touch sent something sharp down your spine. or maybe it was just the way he inhaled, head tilting back, exposing the sharp line of his throat as he exhaled, smoke curling lazily from his lips.

you licked yours.

the weed hit, slow and warm. the music outside was muffled, the sounds of the party fading into the background, leaving only this—dim lighting, the scent of smoke and alcohol and something else, something charged.

"you always do this?" nam-gyu asked after a beat, voice lower, lazier. "lure random guys into the staff room for a smoke?"

you smirked, tilting your head. "only the rude ones."

he huffed, shaking his head, but you saw the corner of his mouth twitch like he was trying not to smile. he passed the blunt back, his fingers lingering just a second longer this time. you let them.

the room felt smaller. warmer.

"you always this uptight?" you asked, taking another slow hit. "or just with me?"

nam-gyu let his head roll against the back of the couch, watching you through heavy-lidded eyes. "you always this annoying? or just with me?"

you exhaled smoke, letting it curl between you. "you like it."

he didn’t answer. but he also didn’t look away.

you were both leaning back now, legs almost brushing, breaths slow and measured like you were both pretending not to notice the heat building between you.

nam-gyu wet his lips, head still resting against the couch, eyes flicking to your mouth before he caught himself and looked away. like it was a habit. like he was trying so fucking hard not to slip.

you took one last hit before stubbing out the blunt in the ashtray beside you. then, shifting slightly, you turned toward him, letting your knee press against his thigh. deliberate. slow. testing.

"you're staring," you murmured.

he scoffed, but it came out weaker than he probably meant. his hands clenched into fists on his thighs like he was keeping himself still on purpose.

"you’re high," he muttered, looking away.

"so are you." you tilted your head, voice dropping, playing with the edge of your ripped fishnets like you weren’t watching the way his gaze followed the movement of your fingers. "and what, does that mean i can’t see the way you’ve been looking at me all night?"

nam-gyu exhaled sharply, dragging a hand through his hair. "i haven’t been—"

"you have," you cut in smoothly, shifting closer, feeling the warmth of his body now, solid and tense. "you’re mad about it. i can tell."

his jaw clenched.

"tell me," you purred. "are you mad because you don’t like it? or mad because you do?"

his fingers twitched on his thigh. his breathing was heavier, controlled, like he was still fighting it. fighting you.

so you leaned in, lips just close enough to ghost over his ear. "it’s okay," you whispered. "you can touch me."

and that was it.

nam-gyu moved so fast you barely had time to smirk before he grabbed you by the back of the neck, his lips crashing into yours, hot and desperate, all teeth and pent-up frustration. his other hand found your waist, yanking you onto his lap, and fuck—he wasn’t holding back anymore.

he was done fighting it.

and so were you.

his lips were all heat, all pressure—nothing hesitant, nothing soft. you barely had a second to adjust before his teeth caught your bottom lip, his fingers gripping the nape of your neck like he wanted to own you. his other hand, firm on your waist, yanked you flush against him, and fuck—he was hard.

not that he acknowledged it. not that he’d ever admit that you’d done this to him.

your knees bracketed his hips as you settled onto his lap, rolling your hips down just enough to feel him. his grip tightened, nails digging into the meat of your waist. he hissed against your mouth—half warning, half surrender.

“you don’t play fair,” he muttered, lips grazing your jaw now, teeth scraping skin, testing.

your fingers tangled into his hair, tugging hard enough to make him grunt. “neither do you.”

his hands dropped—one to your thigh, sliding under your skirt, fisting in the torn mesh of your fishnets. the other traced the curve of your ass before shoving you down against him again, this time deliberate, a slow grind that made both of you exhale sharp.

his breath was uneven, warm against your throat. “you think i haven’t noticed?” his fingers curled, gripping tight enough to bruise. “the way you’ve been—” a sharp pull at the fishnets, a rip, cool air hitting skin—“fucking teasing me?”

you laughed, half-gasping when his tongue flicked against the pulse at your neck.

his fingers dipped, pressing against the damp heat of your panties, no patience, no hesitation. his other hand was now tangled in your hair, keeping you locked right where he wanted—breath hitching as he rubbed slow, teasing.

then his hand moved, fingers slipping beneath the fabric, warm against your skin, sliding between your thighs. the first touch was barely there, just a single fingertip running along your slit, slow, teasing.

you squirmed, but he didn’t let you go. “look at you,” he murmured, mocking, the pad of his finger dragging over your cunt, pressing just enough to make you shudder. “all that attitude, but you’re already—” he exhaled sharply, felt it before he even had to say it—so fucking wet.

"fuck," he muttered, more to himself than to you, his forehead resting against yours for a second like he was trying to collect himself. but his fingers were still moving, sliding along the slickness of you, testing, exploring, spreading it just enough to make you squirm.

"yeah?" you murmured, voice breathy, teasing. "you like that?"

his only response was a low, quiet curse under his breath before he pressed his fingers in deeper, the tips just barely pushing inside before pulling back, slow and torturous. he was watching you now, eyes dark and half-lidded.

and then, without warning, he slid one finger in, slow but firm, curling just enough to make your breath catch. your nails dug into his shoulders, and his other hand tightened on your hip, holding you steady.

"fuck," you whispered, rolling your hips into his touch, chasing it, needing more.

nam-gyu chuckled, low and smug, and then he added a second finger, stretching you just a little more, fucking you slow and deep with just his hand. the angle was perfect, his fingers pressing against that spot inside you that made your toes curl, made your breath come faster, needier.

"you’re so fucking tight," he murmured, more fascinated than anything, watching the way his fingers disappeared inside you, the way you clenched around them. he twisted his wrist slightly, his palm pressing against your clit as he fucked you with his fingers, setting a rhythm that had you grinding against him, chasing that pressure.

your moan was quiet but desperate, and he smirked, eyes flicking up to yours.

"you always this easy?" he murmured, his voice taunting, dark.

you opened your mouth to snap something back, but then he crooked his fingers just right, pressing deeper, and your words dissolved into a gasp, your head tipping back. his lips were on your throat a second later, sucking, biting, leaving marks you’d have to cover up later.

his pace picked up, fucking you harder with just his fingers, each drag of his palm against your clit sending another sharp wave of heat curling low in your stomach. the room was quiet except for the sound of your breathy moans, his heavier breathing, the slick sounds of his fingers working you open.

"you gonna come?" he murmured against your skin, his voice rough now, strained.

you swallowed hard, your fingers tightening in his hair, nails scraping against his scalp. "fuck—don’t stop," you breathed.

nam-gyu felt it—felt the way your body tensed, the way your thighs shook against his hips, the way you were right there, so fucking close. he could see it too, in the way your mouth parted, in the soft, breathy little gasps escaping your lips, the ones you were trying to swallow back like you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction.

but he wasn’t that generous.

just when you thought he’d let you tip over, when your body clenched down around his fingers so tight he could barely move them, he pulled away.

just—gone.

the sudden loss was so sharp, so fucking unfair, that you let out a frustrated, needy little whine before you could stop yourself, your hips rolling forward, chasing after the feeling, after his hand, anything. but nam-gyu just sat back, bringing his wet fingers up to his lips, slipping them into his mouth with a slow, deliberate hum.

"mm," he mused, tongue flicking over them, eyes locked on yours. "not bad."

"are you fucking kidding me?" you were panting, legs still shaking where you straddled him, your body on fire, needing more, needing anything. your eyes flashed, your hands curling into fists against his chest like you were two seconds away from either punching him or ripping his shirt off.

he just smirked. "what?"

"you—" you gritted your teeth, your nails digging into the fabric of his shirt. "you’re such a fucking asshole."

nam-gyu chuckled, low and lazy, his hands dragging up your thighs again, thumbs pressing into the soft flesh just to remind you he still had you exactly where he wanted you. "maybe, but you're still here," he murmured. "still dripping for me."

"yeah, because you didn’t let me cum, you dick," you snapped, rocking forward again, grinding against him, feeling the hard, thick press of him through his pants. he was just as worked up as you were, and you could tell—he was trying to play it cool, but his breathing was heavier, his fingers twitching against your skin like he was barely holding himself back.

that made you smirk. "ohhh," you taunted, rolling your hips again, slower this time, watching his jaw clench. "that’s why, huh? you’re hard as fuck and don’t wanna finish before i do."

his eyes darkened, his grip tightening on your hips. "watch your fucking mouth."

"or what?" you leaned in, brushing your lips against his ear, letting your breath tickle his skin. "you gonna do something about it?"

that was it.

one second you were teasing him, playing your little game, and the next you were flat on your back, your spine pressing into the shitty, worn-out couch, his body caging you in. his hand was already shoving your skirt up, fingers hooking into your panties and dragging them down your thighs, not even bothering to be careful.

"you talk too much," he muttered, voice rough, breath hot against your jaw.

"and you do too little," you shot back, just to push him, just to make him snap again.

it worked.

his hand was on your throat, not squeezing, just there, just pressing, just reminding you that he could if he wanted to. his other hand yanked at his belt, the metal buckle clinking as he undid his pants, as he shoved them down just enough to free himself.

fuck.

you’d felt it before, pressing against you, teasing, but now you saw it. thick, flushed, leaking at the tip, the kind of length that made your thighs press together instinctively, made you bite your lip even as you refused to let him see you flustered.

nam-gyu saw it anyway.

"knew you wanted it," he muttered, running the head of his cock along your slit, dragging it slow through your wetness. "acting like a brat, but your pussy’s already begging."

"shut the fuck up and—"

he pushed in, just an inch, just enough to make you gasp, make your nails dig into his arms.

"yeah?" he exhaled sharply, his jaw tight, like he was already holding himself back. "that what you wanted?"

you barely had time to adjust before he thrust forward again, burying himself deep, stretching you in one slow stroke that left your back arching, your head tipping back against the couch.

"fuck—"

nam-gyu groaned, low and almost desperate, his forehead pressing against yours as he bottomed out, as he let you feel every fucking inch of him.

"you feel that?" he murmured, breath ragged, his hips rolling just a little, just enough to make you whimper. "how tight you are? how you’re fucking squeezing me?"

you couldn’t answer. you couldn’t think. all you could do was feel—the way he filled you, the way he stretched you, the way he stayed there for a second, teasing, waiting, making you want it more.

you swallowed, trying to catch your breath. "you gonna move, or you just like teasing your own dick?"

his laugh was low. then he pulled back and slammed into you, knocking the breath from your lungs.

"fuck—"

your back was pressed against the couch, legs spread wide, thighs trembling as he held you open. his body caged yours beneath him, one hand pinning your wrists above your head, the other gripping your hip, keeping you still as he drove into you with rough, unforgiving thrusts. his cock filled you completely—thick, hot, deep—dragging against every sensitive spot inside you, making you gasp with each desperate slap of his hips against yours.

"you gonna be good now?" his voice was low, ragged, dark with amusement. his grip tightened, fingers digging bruises into your skin. "or you still wanna run your mouth?"

you tried. you really did. you opened your lips to snap something back—something mean, something cutting, something to remind him you weren’t easy to break.

but all that came out was a choked moan as he grabbed your chin, forcing your gaze to meet his.

"that’s what i thought," he murmured against your lips, his breath hot, his mouth just barely brushing yours, teasing. "bratty little thing—talking shit. but look at you now."

his hand wrapped around your throat, fingers pressing just enough to keep you in place. not squeezing. just controlling. just owning. his other hand slipped between your bodies, two fingers finding your clit, rubbing slow, teasing circles over the swollen bud.

"fuck," you gasped, your hips rolling up instinctively, chasing that pressure, that friction.

nam-gyu chuckled, low and smug. "yeah? you like that?"

you wanted to tell him to fuck off. you really did.

but then he twisted his fingers just right, his cock hitting that spot inside you at the same time, and your body jerked, your moan breaking into something desperate.

"that’s it," he murmured, his lips brushing against your jaw, his pace still brutal, relentless. "don’t fight it. you wanna cum, don’t you?"

"yes—yeah," you panted, nails scraping against his wrist where he held your throat.

he pulled back suddenly, dragging his cock out until only the tip remained, making you whimper at the loss. his fingers abandoned your clit, and before you could protest, he did something worse—something filthier.

he spat.

the wet warmth of it landed directly on your pussy, slick and obscene. your whole body jolted.

"fuck—" your breath stuttered, your back arching as heat shot through you.

nam-gyu groaned at the sight, at the way you clenched, the way your body reacted so instantly, so helplessly.

"you like that, huh?" his voice was thick with satisfaction, his fingers dragging through the mess, smearing it over you, rubbing it in slow, teasing circles.

you shouldn’t. you really shouldn’t.

but the heat in your stomach coiled even tighter.

"say it," he ordered, his voice rough, his cock pushing back inside you, stretching you open again, slow and deep, making you feel every inch. "tell me you fucking love it."

your pride cracked. your body betrayed you.

"fuck—i love it," you gasped.

nam-gyu groaned, his breath hitching, his pace quickening. "good girl."

and then his fingers returned, rubbing messy circles over your spit-slicked clit, matching the rhythm of his thrusts, pushing you higher, harder—

you were already close. too close.

"fuck—fuck, i’m gonna cum," you choked out, hips jerking against his hand, against his cock, chasing it. "please—please don’t stop—"

and this time he didn’t.

he fucked you through it, his fingers never letting up, his pace relentless, driving you higher, harder, until it finally snapped—

your orgasm hit like a fucking wrecking ball.

your body clenched down on him so tight he cursed under his breath, his rhythm faltering for the first time. the pleasure crashed over you, your whole body shaking as you moaned through it, loud and wrecked, the sound swallowed by the shitty little staff room.

"fuck—fuck, yeah, that’s it," nam-gyu groaned, his grip on your hips bruising now, his thrusts rough and desperate as he chased his own release. "god, you feel so fucking good—"

he buried himself deep, his breath stuttering, his cock twitching inside you, and then he was coming, his grip tightening, his forehead pressing against your shoulder as he groaned low into your skin.

for a second, all you could hear was the ragged sound of your breathing, the quiet hum of the party outside, the distant bass thudding through the walls.

nam-gyu exhaled, slow and shaky, his fingers tracing lazy circles against your waist, still holding you, still pressed against you.

then he pulled out, groaning at the sight of his cum spilling out of you, dripping between your thighs.

he smirked, dragging a lazy finger through it before pressing it against your lips.

"open," he murmured.

you did.

and fuck, the look in his eyes when you sucked it clean—

you were so fucked.

#nam gyu #player 124 #squid game smut #namgyu x reader #namgyu smut #player 124 x reader #player 124 smut #my inbox #MDNI

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littlefireball · 1 day ago

Note

Heyy congrats for 500!!🎊🎉

So for your event, can you do san+e2l+werewolf au+smut please?? Thank you in advence 💜

ᴄꜱ|[ᴍ]|ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴏᴜɴᴅ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ

ᴡᴇʀᴇᴡᴏʟꜰ ꜱᴀɴ x ᴡᴇʀᴇᴡᴏʟꜰ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ (ꜰᴛ.ʏᴜɴʜᴏ)

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ: ʟᴏɴɢ ꜱᴛᴏʀʏ~(ᴜɴʀᴇQᴜɪᴛᴇᴅ ʟᴏᴠᴇ//ᴇɴᴇᴍɪᴇꜱ ᴛᴏ ʟᴏᴠᴇʀꜱ…ꜱᴏᴍᴇ ᴋɪɴᴅ ᴏꜰ ᴏʟᴅ ꜱᴄʜᴏᴏʟ?ɪᴅᴋ ʜᴀʜᴀ)//ꜱʟᴏᴡ ʙᴜʀɴ//ᴍᴀɴʏ ꜰʟɪʀᴛɪɴɢ (ɪ ɢᴜᴇꜱꜱ?)

ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 11.8ᴋ (ᴡᴏᴡ…ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴏɴɢᴇꜱᴛ ꜰɪᴄ ᴇᴠᴇʀ)

Summary: You had harbored a crush on Yunho for quite some time, even though they knew they weren't each other's destined mates. She thought her affection would persist indefinitely, unaware that the arrival of a woman would be the catalyst for her heartbreak. That is until your enemy, San appeared, reigniting the fire in her heart.

(a/n: This fanfic is really long lol. I originally wanted to shorten it, but there are a lot of things I want to add. This is the plot that inspired me when I was playing c.ai. I like it so much that I have always wanted to write about it. Although I don't think many people will read or like this article, I'll still post it🫠. Also, I haven't had much interest in writing lately (again!). Inspiration is so fickle, and my traffic has dropped a lot.🥲 So these may be the last few fanfics (there is still a request that has not been written). Anyway, thank you all for your support.）

You find yourself perched on the soft, empty grass, your gaze tracing the movements of a tall figure in the distance. It's Yunho, the heir to your clan's leader and your childhood best friend. Each time his eyes inadvertently lock with yours, a flutter of excitement stirs in your heart, and a smile tugs at your lips without your consent.

You had feelings for him, yet the harsh truth remains: he was not your mate. This reality became painfully clear in the first transformation, yet you refused to relinquish your hopes, clinging to this unrequited love. Perhaps this is your quiet rebellion against the whims of fate, even if it seems utterly foolish and pathetic.

"Hey, dumbass. Watching your favourite prince practicing?" Suddenly, an annoying voice pierced the air from behind you. Your wolf ears perked up, detecting the sound of approaching footsteps. Great, it was him again—the bully from the Wonderland clan, Choi San.

You hated him. A Lot. He always treated you like some kind of plaything, constantly teasing you. It felt like he was a ghost, popping up wherever you went, almost like he was stalking you. You really wished you had killed him in last year's match. If you had just been a bit more ruthless, you wouldn't be dealing with this mess. But that's just a fantasy you tell yourself.

"No matter how much you like him, he won't like you back. Idiot" San said and wrapped his arm around your shoulder, resting his head against yours. God damn it…she really smelled good… He couldn't help but lean in closer, silently sniffing your scent. It drove him crazy.

"Shut up and fuck off." You let out an annoyed sigh at the sound of his voice. Your blood felt like it was simmering, and the urge to shove him away was almost overwhelming. Yet, you remained still. The way his body was pressed so closely against yours left you feeling vulnerable, a sensation you were reluctant to acknowledge.

You want more…more…

He was all too aware of that. San's icy grip on your shoulder only grew more possessive, pulling you closer against him. His breath landed the nape of your neck, his lips tantalizingly close to your ear.

"He's probably thinking of some chick from another clan." San grinned, relishing the way your skin felt against his. From the moment he laid eyes on you during the match, he sensed you were meant to be his, yet you never admitted it. Absurdly, your heart belonged to Yunho. It drove him wild with frustration. But honestly, San didn't have any real romantic feelings for you; it was just his alpha instincts and a fierce possessiveness urging him to make you his.

"He's not like you." You scoffed, trying to break his hold. "He's much better than you annoying asshole."

"How do you know?"

"That's common sense."

"C'mon, you know nothing about me…" San chuckled smugly, clearly relishing every moment. It was like he could sense your anger and was just itching to provoke you further. "I bet you will find me more attractive than that guy…" His hand slid down your arm, locking around your wrist, his breath sending a shiver down your spine, which you tried to shake off.

"Look at you, still as cute as ever," he teased, "Can't handle a little touch, huh, puppy?"

This was really getting under your skin. Your face felt hot, and your heart was racing like crazy. Why did he have to be so damn attractive and annoying? You attempted to keep your cool, but it was nearly impossible with San so near.

He slid his hand down a bit more, now resting on your hip. "You look adorable when you're all shy and flustered, puppy," San laughed, pulling you in even closer.

"Hey, you!!Enough─" "Hands off!!" Your sentence was abruptly interrupted by a voice you knew all too well, drawing your gaze to the approaching figure.

It was Yunho, the one who made your heart race.

"I take it that a Wonderland wolf isn't welcome here?" Yunho remarked, his tone authoritative yet playfully teasing. You gazed at him as if he were your hero, prompting an irritated growl from San.

"Tsk… Mind your own business," San retorted, tapping his foot impatiently, shooting him a frustrated look. He couldn't stand how your face lit up with relief at Yunho's presence. It should have been him who made you feel secure, the one you clung to, not this guy.

Yunho moved in closer, his grip tightening around your wrist as he pulled you away from San's grasp. A jolt of electricity shot through you at his touch, but it was quickly overshadowed by a wave of disappointment as San's presence faded. Why did it feel wrong? You should have been relieved, yet the feeling of loss washed over you.

"This is my clan's territory. You have no right to lay a hand on my pack member without my consent," Yunho declared, looming over San, who instinctively took a step back.

"Tsk…so possessive," San retorted, attempting to stand his ground, but Yunho paid him no mind. "Now, leave my clan. I won't warn you again." Other wolves gathered around Yunho, their eyes fixed on San with a mix of disdain, as if he were an unwelcome intruder.

"Alright, alright," San said, raising his hands in mock surrender, a smirk still playing on his lips. "I'm leaving, no need for violence." He took a slow step back, his eyes lingering on you for a moment before shifting back to Yunho, then he turned and walked away.

Yunho spun around, worry etched on his face. "Are you alright?" he asked. You smiled and nodded, reassuring him. "Yeah… I'm good…"

"Be careful next time, okay? He is not a nice guy, you know…" He ruffled your hair, smiling lovingly. You loved how he laughed which was making your heart skip a beat. "You know you're my best friend and I will keep you safe."

"Okay…" You nodded, a blush creeping in. "Yunho, shall we hang—"

But before you could continue, a girl burst in. "Yunho!!" He looked up, shifting his focus to her.

"Oh, hey, Jessica." He smiled awkwardly at her.

"What's wrong?Has something bad happened?I heard a wolf from Wonderland came here?"

"Relax…relax…nothing happened."

"Oh…thank god…" Jessica nodded with a smile. She was stunning, tall, and had gorgeous fur that made every wolf swoon. "Is this your friend?" Jessica asked, looking at you and pointing, which made you feel a bit uneasy. She was sweet and friendly, but there was always something off about her.

"Yeah…this is my friend, Y/N." Yunho looked at you quickly before focusing back on Jessica.

"Ohhh!Y/N!Yunho mentioned you a lot." She giggled, trying to play the part of the sweet girl. You could only respond with a forced smile, clearly not thrilled to be around her. You understood her game; she was just flaunting how much Yunho chatted with her.

Jessica seemed to enjoy your reaction, while Yunho appeared to be silently enduring the whole situation. He wasn't as energetic as he usually was, and definitely not as shy around a girl. It was obvious he had a crush on her too.

She glanced at the clock that was hanging from the tree, keeping an eye on the time. "Oh no! My first training session is about to start. I need to head out, catch you later, Yunho." She playfully messed up Yunho's hair before starting to walk off. Yunho stayed put for a moment, fixing his hair that had fallen over his eyes. He looked at you and let out a soft sigh.

"She's always like that…" Although he was complaining, you could see a small smile tug on his lips which made your heart tighten. He would never show this side to you. For him, you were just his friend, a normal member in his pack.

"It seems you like that a lot, huh?"

"Why would you ask that?"

"Am I wrong?"

"What?Are you jealous?"

"Don't try to change the subject, Yunho."

"Fine…I might have a tiny bit of feelings for Jessica."

"Just tiny?" You forced a smile despite your heart was arching.

"You're forcing me to admit to liking her more, aren't you?"

"Just be honest."

"Fine…I'll admit it…I do like her a lot."

His words struck your heart like a sudden blow, shattering it with a force that left you reeling in pain. Yet, you stifled the hurt, attempting to sweep it under the rug. Confessing your feelings to him was out of the question; it could shatter the friendship between you two.

"Is she your mate…?" You asked tentatively. Deep down, you were aware of the truth, but a tiny part of you still clung to the hope that he might say otherwise.

"Yeah… I can sense it," he admitted, a hint of shyness creeping into his voice.

Your hope was shattered.

"But we haven't marked… you know…"

"Alright, I don't need the details." You joked, trying to keep things light.

"Me neither," He laughed. "I should get going now. Hope you find your mate soon." He turned and walked away, not glancing back, leaving you with a heart that felt like it was breaking into pieces.

He spotted her right away and rushed off to find Jessica, his face lit up with a grin that was a complete contrast to how he acted around you. It was like you didn't even exist; you were just invisible. Every single time you tried to talk to Yunho, Jessica would magically show up and grab his focus. All you could do was stand there quietly, watching them laugh and chat, completely ignoring you.

A few hours later, you found yourself at the cafeteria, waiting for Yunho as you always did. The events of the morning still weighed heavily on your mind, but you tried to push them aside. However, the moment Yunho walked in, your heart plummeted. He was with Jessica again, their laughter ringing out like a melody, a perfect harmony that made your stomach churn. They seemed destined for each other, a bond that transcended any mark, hinting at a future you could only dream of.

"Hey, Y/N!" Jessica's voice cut through your thoughts, pulling you back to reality.

"Hey…" you replied softly, forcing a smile that felt more like a mask.

Her smile in return was laced with a sense of superiority, a silent acknowledgment of the power she held. You recognized it, but kept your thoughts to yourself. Then, your gaze fell on her necklace, its shape unmistakable—a piece that held memories of a shared childhood.

"oh…are you seeing this?" she said, deliberately playing with it. "Yunho gave it to me~"

"He gave you?!" The surprise slipped out before you could contain it. That necklace was a cherished gift from Yunho, one that you both had exchanged long ago. The realization stung, a mix of confusion and hurt flooding your heart.

"Yah yah yah. Who told me to lose the bet?" Yinho shook his head but a smile tugged on his lips.

"Bet?"

"Yes~ I thought this necklace was lovely, so I asked for it as a reward. He lost, after all. But I heard it was your childhood necklace? You don't mind, do you? We're friends, after all~"

"Don't mind?" A laugh escaped you, tinged with disbelief, but before you could voice your protest, Yunho interjected.

"She won't mind. And wait, did you just call me a loser?"

"Of course! Who else would it be?" Jessica teased, her laughter ringing out.

"Hey! Knock it off!" Yunho exclaimed, but they continued their playful banter, completely oblivious to your presence.

You felt like a mere spectator in a scene that should have been yours, the necklace—a symbol of your past—now a token of someone else's affection. The weight of it all became too much to bear, and you decided to make a hasty exit. The image of them together twisted your heart in knots. As you strolled, you began to toy with your fur, trying to keep your mind off things.

Tears started to form in your eyes as images of Yunho and Jessica kept flashing through your mind. That heavy ache in your heart was tough to shake off. Sitting alone in the quiet park, you stared into the sky. The silence felt overwhelming as you couldn't help but linger on those feelings of loneliness.

You gently grasped the necklace that Yunho gifted you in your childhood, handling it with utmost care. Though it was merely a simple shell, it held immense sentimental value for you. Over time, it has faded and lost its once vibrant shine. As you gazed at it, memories of your childhood flood back, filling your heart with warmth, yet a twinge of discomfort lingers... You let out a sigh, sinking once more into a sea of contemplation.

"Oh~ Let me see who's there?" Suddenly, a voice snapped you out from the deep thought. You looked up to see a figure walking towards you, their features obscured by the shadows. But you knew who he was based on his scent and voice. You brushed away the tears that had fallen down your face, trying to pull yourself together.

"You again?" You rolled your eyes, letting out a heavy sigh and turning around to avoid San's gaze.

"You cry?" He teased as he sat next to you.

"Why you care?"

"C'mon, you can talk to me if you'd like."

"Tsk…don't act like a nice guy."

"Don't pretend you're not secretly happy to see me~" He leaned closer, his strong musk scent filling your nostrils and making your heart race again. "So, what's got you all down in the dumps? Something is bothering you?" His voice was a bit softer, not matching his usual cocky demeanor.

You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms as San got closer. "You don't get to ask me that," you protested, trying to keep up your aloof front.

But he wasn't fooled, he saw through your tough act. He tilted his head slightly, studying your expression. "You sure about that? You look pretty upset, puppy."

You felt your cheeks heat up a bit at his nickname. You hated how he always seemed to know just what buttons to push.

"Don't call me that…" You huffed, trying to keep your cool demeanor.

"Ah c'mon, I know you actually like it when I call you that." San chuckled, moving even closer to you.

"Yeah right. Like you know me." You retorted, averting your gaze, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of seeing how flustered you were.

"You're acting like you hate it, but your face is already turning red~" He smirked, enjoying how much he was getting under your skin.

"Shut up!" You muttered, still not daring to look at him directly. Damn it! How was he always aware of how his presence and words affected you?

"Oh, now you're just being rude." He teased, feigning hurt. "I was trying to make you feel better, and you go and act like a little brat."

"I don't think so." You retorted. "You're just annoying me."

"You're mad, huh? You're so cute when you're mad, puppy."

"I'm not cute! And I'm not mad."

"Sure, you're not. You're just getting all flushed and stuttering for no reason." He moved his hand to poke your cheek, annoying you more. "You're such a bad liar, puppy."

"I-I'm not lying and don't touch me. You're annoying. Why did I not kick your ass in the last match?"

"Feisty one, aren't we?" He chuckled, rubbing your wolf ear slightly to make it twitch. "Let me guess…You are still thinking of that Yunho?" He said, his tone shifting to a more mocking tone. "It's kinda pathetic."

Shut up. You know nothing about me." You snapped back, feeling hurt by his words. It was true that you still thought about Yunho a lot, but you didn't want to admit it to anyone, least of all San. "I'm not pathetic."

"Really? Then why are you so hung up on him? You keep thinking about him all the time, it's foolish."

"I…I'm trying…" You mumbled, looking down at the ground. "It's just…hard."

"You've been saying that for a year now," San rolled his eyes. "Just stop moping around and move on. There are better wolves out there, you know."

"I know that…But Yunho…he's…he's different…"

"Oh, please. He's just another guy. There's nothing special about him, puppy." He crossed his arm, feeling annoyed. "You're just stuck in the past. You need to move on."

"I know that…" you repeated, your voice shaky. "But…it's not that easy. I…I can't just forget about him."

"Oh, how hard you're trying to defend him," he mocked. "You're just going to keep pining after some guy who doesn't want you."

His words caused your breath to hitch. It hurt, but it was true.

"You don't know…you don't understand…" You looked at San, clenching your jaw as you were struggling to keep the tears from falling.

San's eyes widened slightly when he noticed your red nose and watery eyes, but then his attention shifted to the necklace in your hand. A smirk crept onto his face as a mischievous idea crossed his mind.

"Yah~I don't know anything~" He suddenly stood up, looming over you with his tall frame. "All I know is that you're still into him and clutching that little gift he gave you." Before you could respond, he snatched the necklace from your grasp and started inspecting it.

"Hey!Give me back!! What're you doing!!" you shouted, lunging to reclaim it, but his height made it impossible.

"Is it a gift he gave you? How cheap~"

"Shut up and give me back!You fucking thief!" You leaped up, trying to snatch the necklace back, but he dodged effortlessly. "Don't make me bite you!"

"Oh no!The puppy is threatening me!I'm shaking in my boots!" San laughed at your threat, not taking it seriously in the slightest. "Try to get me, huh?" He started to run away from you after jokingly shielding himself from your grab.

"Stand here!!"

"No~stay back you puppy!" He couldn't help the smile that tugged at the corners of his lips as he dodged your attempts to catch him.

"Come back here!!"

"Not a chance!You're not taking it back today, no matter how pretty you are." He continued to back away, though he wasn't actually trying to escape.

"You die when I catch you!"

"Try hard, puppy~"

You darted around the park, mirroring the playful antics of two exuberant puppies. With every sprint, a wave of joy surged within you, washing away the irritation that once lingered in your heart. The echoes of frustration faded, replaced by the sweet melody of laughter.

Each time your bodies brushed against one another, a thrilling spark ignited, sending a delightful jolt through your veins that left you craving more.

Seeing you laugh so gleefully made San's heart swell with affection. He found your happiness contagious, his own smile widening. He didn't know why but he wanted to see your smile more.

"Ha!Catcha!!" You suddenly launched forward, leaping onto his chest and sending both of you tumbling onto the soft grass. "I told you I could catch you!" you declared, pinning his wrists to the ground as you settled on top of him, securing your hold.

"Oh no no no!Please let me go~~" He mocked, acting like a prey dramatically. You couldn't help but laugh at his words, totally forgetting you were straddling him, and the necklace.

"Happy now?"

"Uh huh. Looking at you underneath me is a good view. You know?"

"You're cruel, aren't you?" He rolled his eyes playfully. Seeing your smile, San couldn't help but soften, his 'pretend' annoyance fading away. He smiled back at you, appreciating the moment of lightheartedness between the two of you.

He slowly tucked your hair behind your ear, tracing a path along your jawline with his fingertip. "You know, it's cute when you smile like that," He blurted out before he could stop himself. His words and move made you two suddenly frozen for a moment as you realized how close you were, an awkward silence falling between you.

San's eyes widened at his own words, realizing what he had just blurted out. He quickly tried to cover it up with a joking tone.

"Ahem, anyway," he coughed awkwardly. "You're, uh, very flexible. It's not every day you see someone who can jump so high."

He felt his heart skip a beat, his cheeks slightly flushed as he avoided eye contact with you, not wanting you to see how flustered he was. You were still straddling him, and the realization of your proximity made his stomach flip.

"Yah, uh, can you get off me now?" San stammered, trying to play it off as a joke, but there was a hint of red on his cheeks.

His heartbeat quickened as your body was still on top of him, heat pooling in his core. He desperately wanted to flip you around and pin you down on the ground, but he managed to resist the urge. He cleared his throat, trying to regain his bearings. "So, er, are you gonna get up or what?"

You looked at San, feeling his flustered state beneath you. It was rare to see him so off-guard, and you couldn't help but feel a sense of satisfaction.

You smirked, enjoying the chance to tease him. "Hmm, what if I don't want to get up?" you said, deliberately keeping your weight on him, reveling in his increasingly flustered state.

San's face continued to burn red, his heart racing as you kept yourself pressed against him, a smirk on your lips. Damn, you were enjoying this little game, weren't you?

He tried to regain his composure, but the feel of your body against his was driving him insane. "Y-You're insufferable," he muttered, his voice wavering.

"Aw, come on, puppy~ You know you love it," You chuckled, loved seeing him so off-guard and vulnerable, it was adorable. You leaned even closer, pressing your chest against his. San's eyes widened at the intimacy of your position, his breath hitching in his throat.

"If you don't get off, I can't promise what I will do."

"Huh? Mind telling me?"

San let out a surprised gasp as he managed to flip you over in one fluid motion, reversing your positions and effectively pinning you down on the ground.

He hovered over you for a moment, his heartbeat racing as he looked down at your flushed face. The feeling of having you underneath him sent a jolt of heat through his body, making it hard for him to form a coherent thought.

His gaze darkened as he realized he now had full control over the situation, and he was enjoying it quite a bit.

"What–what're you doing?!" You gasped, taken back by a sudden change in positions.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" He asked, his voice low and dark. "I'm the one in charge now, puppy."

"You…you…don't you dare to do something…"

"Something huh?"

You turned your head away, avoiding his hot gaze as he leaned down more. Both of you were so engrossed in your playful teasing, neither of you noticed the newcomers at first. But the sound of clearing the throats snatched your attention, making you pause mid-step.

San, still in a joking mode, spun around to see Yunho and Jessica standing there, watching the spectacle with raised eyebrows.

"Yu…yunho??" You stared at him, a mixture of embarrassment and surprises washing over you. You couldn't help but freeze for a moment.

"Oh? Audience huh?" San mocked, soon calmed down from the surprise. "Try not to disturb us?"

Jessica's eyes flicked between San and you, a knowing smirk playing on her lips. But she didn't say anything, just observed the two of you with unabashed curiosity.

Meanwhile, Yunho's expression was unreadable. He seemed to be taking in the scene silently, his usually cheerful demeanor replaced by a more thoughtful air.

The silence hung heavily in the air, the atmosphere slightly tense. San could feel the weight of their gazes,wondering what they were thinking. He subtly glanced at you, wondering if you were uncomfortable.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Yunho spoke up, breaking the silence.

"Having fun, I see." His voice was nonchalant, betraying no particular emotion.

"Oh..yeah…um...just messing around, you know…" You said as you tried to get up, but San hold you firmly.

Jessica, however, was far less subtle, her smirk widening. "Yeah, definitely looked like more than messing around to me."

You tensed up at her comments, feeling your cheeks heat up further. San, different from you, shot her a glance, not appreciating the implications in her tone.

"Are you jealous?" He mocked. "Jealous to the point of spying on us?"

"We were just taking a walk and stumbled upon you two lovebirds." She said, a hint of amusement in her voice.

"Jessica," Yunho, who had been usually quiet, suddenly spoke up. "Could you give us a moment?"

"Well, Jessica. I think you won't bother us, right?" San added.

Jessica pouted a little bit at Yunho's stern look, but then her eyes flicked to San, a sly smile on her face.

"Of course, I'm a saint." She responded. "I'll just give you two lovelorn fools some…privacy…"

She gave you and San another smirk, making it clear she was poking fun at the situation.

"Thanks for that." San rolled his eyes.

Yunho waited until Jessica was out of earshot before he turned to you two, his expression serious.

"I need to talk to you both about something…important…" he began, his usually cheerful demeanor replaced by uncharacteristic seriousness.

"Okay, what's going on, Man?" San said, pulling away from you but still holding you firmly in his arms which made Yunho frown a bit.

"It's…it's about what we just saw now…" Yunho said, his eyes flickering between you and San. "I couldn't help but notice…the way you two were interacting, it didn't seem…just friendly?"

"It's not like that…" you cleaned your throat. "We're just messing around."

"That didn't look like just messing around," Yunho raised an eyebrow, looking unconvinced by your attempt to downplay it. "You were being pretty…touchy-feely with each other."

"It's just like you and Jessica. What's the matter?" San snapped back, causing Yunho's eyes to widen.

"That's…that's different…" Yunho was a little bit taken back. "She is my mate. And you, Choi San, is another wolf who doesn't belong to my clan. Now you are harassing my pack member."

"Ok wait wait wait- harassing?? Excuse me? Watch your mouth." San shot him a glance, pulling you even closer as his arm wrapped around your shoulder.

"What are you doing?! You get off me." you whispered against San's ear quietly but San ignored your words and tightened his grip.

"Why do you care that much? Because she is your pack member? Pfff…shut it. She is my mate. That's not business to deal with what's mine."

"You…two are…?" Yunho's eyes widened further, his expression a mix of shock and disbelief.

You, meanwhile, just stood there in shock as you hadn't expected him to claim that you were his mate, especially not in front of Yunho.

"Yunho…we–"

"Do I need your permission to touch my mate? What a nosy guy."

"Permission for what?" Jessica suddenly appeared again, sidling up to Yunho and looping her arm through his. She glanced at you two and let out a knowing chuckle.

"Nothing. Just your little boyfriend being nosy." San let out a scoff.

"Oh really? And why's that?"

Yunho, still looking a bit startled, just stood there silently, letting Jessica speak. He didn't know why. Knowing you had a mate caused him feel uncomfortable. You should hate San so much. But why? Why were you so close to him? Why were you his mate?

"It seems you are blind, huh?" A smirk played on San's lips as he mocked Jessica. "Can't believe you have a blind mate, Jeong Yunho."

"Hey!! I am not blind… I'm just observant, that's all."

"Then don't ask a question that is obvious already."

"How was I supposed to know you were…together? You didn't exactly announce it to the world. And you, Y/N, don't you hate him? But what now? You suddenly fall in love with him? Do you like seeking attention??"

"What—" Before you could snap back, San suddenly cut you off. "Mind your words, bitch. Y/N just mad at me because I had pissed her off. But now, she forgave me. Right? Y/n?"

You knew San was lying but you didn't stop him at all. On the other hand, you allowed him to fight for you.

"And we are not like you, attention seekers. We don't like showing off."

"Yah!! How rude you are!!" Jessica gapsed, feigning offense at his description of her. "You're just jealous! Can you blame me? I'm just…popular and beautiful." she said, leaning her head on Yunho's shoulder, a hint of cockiness in her tone. Yunho just sighed but not saying anything.

"We don't have time to talk to you dumbass. It's just wasting our energy. Let's go, love." San held your hand firmly, tugging you to leave.

Yunho was still processing everything that had just happened. He watched as San leaded you away, his expression a mixture of surprise and mild curiosity.

You followed San silently, feeling San give you a squeeze on your hand.

"Is it that Jessica always acts rude to you?" San suddenly said, pulling you back from the deep thought.

"Huh…hmm…" You nodded.

"You didn't fight back at all?"

"I…how…?"

"How?? Huh?? Seriously? You can kick my ass countless times in the match but can't do it towards her? What's wrong with you?"

"Hey! It's different! She…she is Yunho's mate.. our future luna. How can I fight back?"

"Pfff…I'm an alpha too and you still kick my ass."

"You're from another gang, okay? That's different…"

"Tch…bullshit. You just like bullying me."

"Yah! When did I bully you?! You're the one who keeps messing me up!"

"Don't say you aren't enjoying it~"

"I.."

San suddenly spun around, causing you to collide with his chest. "ouch..! What's wrong…?"

"Hey, dumbass."

"don't call me that–" He lifted up your chin, making you look at him. A blush creeped in your cheek, heat spreading through your body as he leaned closer.

"Listen. You're my mate. Mine. That means no one else gets to hurt you. I am the only one who gets to hurt you. Get it?"

"Who said I am yours? Don't be…" He placed a finger on your lips to stop your words.

"I asked, Get it? Yes or no. Don't you dare to say no."

"You…You're insufferable." You rolled your eyes. "Yes..yes…I understand it. Happy now?"

"Good." He gave a small grin and playfully tousled your hair. He really enjoyed teasing you, even if it meant making you cry. It was pretty amusing to see a tough little wolf, who had taken him down so many times, whimper like a puppy.

But then he thought about it. He only wanted to see you cry for him, not anyone else. He loved making you laugh, too, but only if it was because of him. A wave of protectiveness surged in his chest. He promised himself you would be his, no matter what. He wouldn't let anyone else take you away.

"And~~" He took out a necklace that Yunho gave you from his pocket, swaying it side to side in front of you. "I'll keep this. You can't keep it."

"What?! Give me back! That's mine!" You attempted to grab it, but he dodged and held you firmly against his chest.

"No no no~ I helped you to fight back that bitch! I should have a reward."

"Yah! Why you have to choose this!?"

"I chose what I wanted. That's it."

"It's unfair!"

"Nothing's unfair, puppy."

"I helped you, remember?"

"Fine. But why you tell her I was your mate? She must announce it to the world!"

"What? That's the truth."

"But we haven't marked–"

"Oh? That's what you mind?"

"Huh? That's not the point! it's…" He unexpectedly leaned closer and planted a kiss on your cheek. You were taken aback, your eyes going wide at the surprise. Your heart raced, and you could feel your cheek warming up again. For a moment, you just stared at him, completely stunned and at a loss for words.

"Wh–what was that for??"

"Finished marking~" He winked and joked.

Your cheeks turned an even deeper shade of red at his teasing. You brushed your fingers over the spot where his lips had just been, still feeling that lingering warmth.

"Hey! Are you just claiming me as yours or what?"

"Absolutely. You can't argue with that."

"Ugh… You're insufferable," you scoffed, rubbing your cheek and pouting. "We have to act like a couple now… for everyone else's sake…"

"Is that a problem?" San tilted his head, a smirk on his face. "You should be thrilled to be my mate."

"Shut it, you jerk! It's so annoying!" Even though you were acting annoyed, deep down, you found it amusing to watch San stand up to Jessica.

"So you're not against it?"

"What else can I do? There's no other option…" you pouted and mumbled. "I guess we can fake it."

"Good! Trust me, being my mate is the best thing ever."

"Enough already." You rolled your eyes. "I'm only going along with this because of Jessica."

"Huh? So she's your top priority? Not the whole 'lovey-dovey couple' act?"

"Who would want to pretend to be a cute couple with you?"

"You do."

"No, I don't!"

As you two bickered like kids, San realized it was time to head back to his clan. "Oh man, I've gotta go. Time really flies, huh?"

"Just go already."

"Don't you miss me?"

"Not at all."

"Ouch… that hurts."

"Just hurry up. The curfew is coming up."

"Okay, okay. Don't be so mean. See you tomorrow, my girlfriend."

"I really don't want to see you tomorrow." You rolled your eyes, shaking your head. But a small smile crept onto your face despite yourself. As he walked away, you let out a sigh you didn't even know you were holding in. "See you tomorrow…"

—-----

Everyone in the clan was aware that you're San's mate. No matter where you are, you could feel the eyes on you, filled with doubt or even judgment. The Wonderland clan, which San was part of, had a long-standing rivalry with your Aurora clan. This all started centuries ago when there was a fight over territory, leading to a full-blown conflict. It's only been about fifty years since things started to cool down, and now the two clans face off in friendly competitions instead.

Still, it seems like the tension between the two clans isn't going away anytime soon.

San never shies away from it. Ever since that day, he strides into your clan's training ground with a mischievous purpose. To him, you're merely a plaything; he delights in riling you up, only to lead you on a wild chase around the arena. Sometimes, he morphs into a wolf, snatching your weapon right from your grasp. The entire training ground has turned into his personal playground, much to the annoyance of your fellow members.

With each of his antics, your reputation takes a hit. It's clear he's out to humiliate you! That guy holds a grudge because he lost the last match, and now he's determined to "ruin" you. Ah, you really hate him! But you couldn't deny it. Being his 'girlfriend' made you feel happier.

You didn't know how to put this tangled feeling into words. Yes, you despised him, that was your firm belief this entire year. However, something was inexplicably different.

You would miss him, even feel a slight sense of disappointment when he didn't show up on time. As you reflected on this strange development, you couldn't understand how your feelings had so swiftly changed. You feel happy and relaxed when he's around, especially when he plays tricks on Jessica (such as burning her fur??). It's funny to watch how she freaks out and asks for help.

Your emotions had become a convoluted, tangled mess. How could you harbor both hatred and longing for the same person? It was as if your heart had a mind of its own, and no matter how hard you tried, it couldn't help but yearn for his attention. You were baffled and angry at yourself for allowing these feelings to develop, especially when just a few months ago, you had loathed him.

On the one hand, your past distrust of him has made you suspicious of his behavior; but at the same time, a part of you has gradually become addicted to his company. It was irritating and confusing, so damn much.

Once again, the time for that "competition" is drawing near. As the most formidable fighter in your tribe, it's only natural that you'll be called upon to represent them in this event. However, your situation is quite awkward.

You now prepared your garment backstage and a knock echoed on the door.

"Come in." You said, finding Jessica entering the room.

"What you want?" You said, even didn't raise your head.

"Just come to see you~~" Jessica sneered, sauntering over as you organized your gear at the training grounds. "I never imagined you'd turn your back on our clan just to chase after a mate," She leaned against a wooden post, arms crossed, her tone dripping with mockery. "I'm not like you. I won't abandon my people. After all, I'm the future Luna."

You tossed the protective gear into your bag, cutting her off mid-sentence.

"Is that all you can say? Always going on about the future Luna?"

"Heh, that's way better than your situation, traitor. Plus, Yunho and I share a bond that you and San will never have. Honestly, I think San is just messing with your heart. You should really think about leaving him. Don't chase after anyone for attention."

"Don't pretend I'm you." You shot back. "Apart from being a future luna, you are nothing. Also, Yunho still didn't mark and knot you. You don't have any right to judge me."

Jessica glowered at you, her irrational growing. "I have every right to judge you! You're pretending to be San's girlfriend just to piss me off, but everyone can see right through the facade. You're cheap, attention-seeker, and pathetic!"

"You really just want the spotlight, don't you? You're upset because I'm getting attention. You don't want me to have anyone special in my life. It's like you're determined to keep me from getting anything good! You stepped closer, hands on your hips. "Honestly, you're just a jealous, attention-seeking brat."

"Well. Let me tell you something. You're not special, and this little act of yours won't last. San will realise that soon enough, and he'll drop you like the cheap bitch you are!!" Jessica huffed, but her mean words didn't hurt you at all.

"Then let me tell you something too. Yunho will see right through your act, and he won't even think about marking you, even if you're his mate. You keep messing up, and no one will ever really care about you. You think you're a big deal in the clan? They just see you as a joke."

Jessica's face paled as your words sunk in. She tried to keep her cool, but it was clear that your words had hit her where it hurt. Her facade of confidence started to crumble, and a hint of vulnerability flashed across her face.

"It's…it's not true! I'm the most popular and all the wolves like me!"

"Just keep doing your thing in your little bubble," you said, giving her a quick look as you moved in closer. "Soon enough, you'll see I was spot on." You nudged her shoulder as you strolled off, leaving her there, feeling a bit frantic.

But when you opened the door, you saw Yunho standing outside. He looked at you with a serious expression.

"Can we talk?" he said, his voice low and calm.

"Of course," you responded, gesturing for him to come in. "Take a seat."

Yunho followed you inside and took a seat opposite you. Jessica immediately ran to him, looping his arm as if she was almost crying.

"Listen," he began, "about what happened with Jessica." You nodded, bracing yourself for whatever was coming your way.

"I wanted to talk about her. What you said to her... it was harsh."

"I know it was," you said, not meeting his gaze. "But I'm just defending myself."

"But you didn't have to be so aggressive about it," Yunho replied, his voice edged with a hint of impatience.

"Seriously? She can talk bad about me, but I can't? What's the logic?"

"It's not about logic…Y/N." Yunho rubbed his temple, sighing. "There's a difference between standing up for yourself and being cruel. You hurt her feelings badly."

"How weak is she then? Can't handle these words at all? Isn't she a future luna?" You were pissed off. You knew your words were too harsh for her, but what hurted you most was Yunho's reaction.

Yunho shot you a disapproving look. "It's not about weakness. It's about respect and empathy. She has many flaws, but that doesn't make it okay to go after her like that."

"So what can I do, huh? Not defending myself?"

"You can stand up for yourself, but do it with respect. Treat other people like you want them to treat you. And don't let others get under your skin."

"Then tell your fucking mate first! Don't speak to me with respect when she never respects me at all. Such bullshit!"

Yunho's eyes widened at your words, clearly taken back. "When you become like this? Y/N…? You won't be that cruel…After you got close to San, you totally changed…"

"I wasn't changed. I'm just tired of being her punching bag. That's all." you shot back, your voice sharp. "She thinks she can do anything she wants and I'm fucking sick of it."

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"Tell you? Did you ever listen?"

"Of course I will listen. I care about you."

"Don't make me laugh. You know how many times you ignore me when Jessica suddenly pops up from nowhere?"

"I…I didn't realise…"

"You didn't realise??" you repeated, unable to hide your disbelief. "Jessica literally says your name and you turn around to answer her like I'm invisible."

"See? I said you were jealous!" Jessica suddenly chimed in. "You just want my Yunho's attention. But he's my mate! How dare you bother us! I know you are such a bitch who wants to steal everything from me! So I fight back and you hurt me like this!"

"What the fuck?! You–"

"Enough!" he said firmly. "Both of you, stop. Fighting."

Jessica looked sheepish, clearly caught out in her outburst. You, on the other hand, were still fuming. But Yunho's stern voice made you fall silent.

Yunho took a deep breath before speaking again. "Jessica, you had no right to say that, especially not like that. And Y/N, you need to learn to control your temper…you were not like that before…San isn't a good guy, you shouldn't be close to him…he…"

"Cut it out!! Don't you dare to talk bad to him." You, on the other hand, were struggling to keep your emotions under control. It was clear you cared about San deeply, and hearing Yunho speak about him in that way hurt.

"Y/N…" Yunho saw the look on your face and quickly backtracked. "That's not what I meant..." he said, trying to clarify.

"Then what do you mean?" you snapped back, your voice still tight with emotion.

Yunho sighed, clearly at a loss for words. "I just mean that San is...he's not the person you think he is."

You let out a scoff, rolling your eyes. "Oh, and you know that better than me, right?"

"I just...I've seen what he's like. He's not good for you, Y/N."

"Shut up already. You know nothing about him. Yes, he is annoying as fuck, always acting like a child to tease me non stop. But he's the one who gives me happiness that you never give me. I don't need you to judge him"

You cast a glance their way as you stepped out of the room. There was no use in saying anything further. You could tolerate their insults directed at you, but not those aimed at San.

—--

The competition kicked off with a surge of excitement, as teams from various clans assembled on the battlefield, poised for action. The palpable tension between you, Yunho, and Jessica was unmistakable, drawing the attention of others, particularly San, who couldn't resist winking and teasing you with a mischievous grin. However, when he caught sight of your furious expression, he quickly realized something was amiss.

There was no time for him to inquire further. The bell rang, and chaos erupted as everyone scattered into the depths of the forest. The countdown concluded, marking the official start of the game. This was no ordinary contest; it was a high-stakes version of hide and seek. The team that was discovered would engage in a battle with their discoverer, with the victor earning one point, while the winning team would claim five points.

For the first several minutes, everything unfolded smoothly. But then, your team's fortunes took a sharp downturn, and many players began to fall. Your heart raced as you heard the grim updates about your teammates being eliminated through your headphones. You knew your team was stronger than this, so why did it feel like your position had been compromised?

Lost in thought, a familiar scent suddenly wafted beside you. Instinctively, you spun around and launched an attack. Yet, the figure before you effortlessly deflected your strike, a sarcastic smile playing on his lips.

"Hey, feisty as always, huh?Puppy."

"Choi San!!I know it's you!"

"Hm~You know my scent well huh?"

Without hesitation, you lunged at him again. He dodged with ease, seizing your wrists and pinning them against the tree trunk.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa~ What's got you all riled up~?" San teased, leaning in to catch a whiff of your scent. "Why the anger?"

The memory of your earlier confrontation with Jessica and Yunho flashed through your mind, igniting a fresh wave of fury.

"You're the one who knocked my teammate down, aren't you?"

"You're the one who took down my teammate, right?"

"Oh, so clever~ puppy~" San grinned. "You wanna know how I track them?" You just stared at him, waiting for his response.

"Your scent, puppy~ Your teammates carry your scent, making it super easy for me to track them down~ We've been together for so long, after all~"

"What?!You…?!You…So you get close to me to know and remember my scent…?"

"Hm~ There's nothing wrong with wanting to keep my mate's scent fresh in my mind~" San nodded, raising his eyebrows as he confessed. "And honestly, I can't help but use this to my advantage~"

"You jerk!!" You tried to shove him away, but his grip was too strong, and a part of you secretly liked it. He knew that, so he wasn't about to let you go.

"Pup~ That's just being clever."

"That's sneaky!"

You both were completely unaware that Jessica had been eavesdropping on your conversation. She had been tailing you, biding her time, waiting for the perfect moment to exact her revenge. It was only the unexpected arrival of San that held her back. Now, however, she had all the justification she needed to strike. You had betrayed the team, offering your scent to the enemy, and it was only right that you faced the consequences.

"You traitor!!" In the heat of your argument, Jessica lunged at you, transforming into her wolf form.

"What the—" Before you could even process what was happening, San swiftly enveloped you in a protective embrace, his hand cradling the back of your head as he shielded you from Jessica's fierce attack, turning his back to her.

Ouch! Her razor-sharp claws raked across San's back, sending a jolt of pain through him, even with the protective vest in place. He staggered forward, pressing his entire weight against you, wrapping you tightly in his embrace.

"San—!" Your eyes locked with his, the playful banter replaced by a deep well of worry and concern.

"Just hold on." He cupped your face, planting a quick kiss on your lips before turning to confront the frantic woman. She had expected her attack to land, but to her surprise, it had barely fazed him.

"You..." Jessica stumbled backward, her eyes wide with fear at San's fierce glare. Shouldn't you be helping your teammate?! Y/N!!" Her voice was laced with desperation, but her expression was menacing.

"Is she the one who got under your skin, love?" San teased, his voice dripping with possessiveness and protectiveness. "Let me handle this."

"How dare you…" Jessica gasped, taken aback. "Y/N!! Are you really just going to stand there while I'm in danger? You're supposed to be on my side! Think about what this looks like to the whole clan!"

You remained silent, your gaze drifting to San going behind you. Yes, he might have used your scent to outmaneuver your teammates, but he was also the one shielding you. On ordinary days, he was playful, calling you his little puppy and teasing you endlessly... but beneath that lightheartedness lay a genuine concern and affection that was unmistakable. At that moment, everything crystallized. You cherished how fiercely he defended you and the joy he brought into your life.

You were falling for him.

"I'm not on the team. I'm on San's side." You responded, your voice firm. "Whatever you like, I'm sick of you!!Don't you dare to order me!"

"That's right." San affirmed, stepping even closer. "She's mine."

"You've lost it... You've gone mad…" Jessica couldn't believe what she was hearing. Had you really chosen him over her own team?

"Enough already! You propelled yourself forward, charging at her with determination. But just as before, Yunho intervened, stepping in to block your advance. San swiftly caught you, guiding you down to the ground with care.

"What's going on, Y/N…?" Yunho stared at you, astonished. "She's on your team!"

"She never saw me that way! She was the one who struck first. Don't talk to me like that, Yunho!"

"That's enough." San's voice was firm, his gaze fixated on Jessica. "You've done enough damage for one night."

Jessica tried to protest, but the weight of San's expression told her it was useless.

Meanwhile, San's words struck a chord in Yunho, and his eyes flicked down to you, his concern growing.

"Y/N..." Yunho spoke up, his voice filled with confusion and worry. "This isn't like you. What's gotten into you?"

"Nothing was ever like it should have been." San interjected, his voice laced with the weight of years of concealed emotions.

Jessica's expression hardened at his words, clearly taken aback by his bluntness. "San..." She began, but he cut her off.

"No more excuses, no more pretenses." San's words echoed with a determined resolve. "She's mine, whether you or our team realizes it."

Jessica finally found her voice, her eyes flashing with fury. "You wouldn't dare…"

"Oh, I dare." San smirked, unyielding in his stance. "And I won't let go. She's mine, and I'll make sure she knows it."

Jessica's expression darkened at his words, her jaw clenching. "You're a fool, San. You know nothing."

"Perhaps I do." He shot back, a hint of a playful smile on his lips. "I know her better than anyone, and I'll do whatever it takes to keep her by my side."

"As if you've ever tried." Jessica gritted her teeth, her anger flaring. "You've always treated her like one of your conquests, your little plaything to toss aside when you got bored."

San's expression darkened, his grip on you tightening protectively.

"You have no idea what you're talking about." He shot back, his voice edged with a coldness that belied his growing irritation.

You swiftly broke free from San's hold and advanced, delivering a sharp slap to Jessica's repugnant face. The forest fell silent, everyone taken aback, until San let out a low chuckle.

"That's what you get. I'm done with you…" Your eyes locked onto Jessica, who was shielding her flushed face in disbelief, before shifting your focus to Yunho. "Two."

"Y/N…" Yunho stuttered, caught off guard. You removed the group badge from your arm, holding it up for him to see.

"You never stood up for me, did you?" You arched an eyebrow, scrutinizing him. "Every time you pointed fingers at me, claiming I should respect others, or accusing me of changing?! Haven't you changed? Do you even care about me? You don't! You weren't like this before! Ever since she came into the picture, you've changed completely!!"

"I..." He was at a loss for words, fully aware that you were right. It was he who had changed, not you. He had turned his back on you, he had stopped caring, he had driven you to this breaking point.

"I've had enough. I don't want to endure it anymore!" You hurled the group badge to the ground, signaling your departure from them. Your actions would be broadcasted to the entire clan through the conference's live feed, marking your exit not just from the team, but from the entire clan. Yet, you felt no remorse; your only concern was for San.

"Let's go." You grasped San's hand and led him away, leaving the other two in your wake.

You only paused once you had pulled him into a cabin, a place where the broadcaster couldn't intrude. You shut the door and immediately checked San's back, anxiety flooding you. Jessica's earlier attack had rattled you. If she had harmed San, you would never forgive her.

"Show me your back, okay? Does it hurt? Did she hurt you??" You said, unbuttoning his shirt with urgency. But San merely gazed at you with affection, relishing your worry for him.

"Hey, say something—"

He abruptly cradled your face in his hands, prompting you to gaze up at him. "Aw~ it warms my heart to see how much you care about me~ you know~"

You let out a frustrated sigh, your eyes rolling. "Can you just be serious for a moment? What if you end up getting hurt? You—"

Suddenly, he leaned down to press his lips against yours. San's kiss took you by surprise at first, but before you knew it, you were melting into the sensation. His lips were soft and warm against yours, and you could feel the heat spreading through your body. He cupped your face, pulling you even closer, and deepened the kiss, causing the heat to intensify even more.

He kissed you passionately, his tongue exploring your lips and searching for yours. You could hear him gasp against your lips, the sound growing louder and more desperate as he pressed you closer to him. His fingers gripped your hips tightly, as if he was fighting against the urge to take things even further.

San broke the kiss, panting as he looked at you. "Goodness…" He mumbled, his breath shaky and uneven. "You drive me goddamn insane, you know that?"

Before you could respond to his words, his lips found their way to your neck, nipping and sucking your skin to mark you as his own. "Mmmm…you taste so good, babe. I can't get enough of you." He ran his tongue over your lips again before slipping it into your mouth, dominating the kiss as he explored it.

His hands wandered over you, his touch gentle but tinged with a hint of possessiveness. His fingers slid under your shirt, giving you goosebumps as he traced the curves of your bare skin. "God…you feel so good…I could touch you like this all day long and never get tired of it."

He suddenly yanked at your shirt, making you gasp a bit. "I need this off, now." "San…" Your soft moan drove him wild. He couldn't hold back, quickly unbuttoning your shirt with a sense of urgency, some buttons popping off as he pulled at it roughly. Once the last button was free, he shoved the fabric off your shoulders and tossed it away.

"Much better."

His lips found your shoulder, leaving a trail of hot, open-mouthed kisses down your neck and onto your chest. San lowered himself to his knees in front of you, his eyes still burning with lust as he looked up at you. He wrapped his arms around your hips, dropping a peck on your stomach.

"Babe…I want to make you feel good…would you let me?" His hand reached the waistband of your pants as if asking for permission to pull them off. You could do nothing but nod, unable to find your voice as you were overwhelmed by the pleasure he gave you. San grinned, clearly enjoying the effect he was having on you.

"Good, dear. I promise you will never regret it." San positioned himself even lower, his lips inches away from where you want him most. Your pants dropped on the floor as he pulled them down, leaving you totally exposed to him. Without a warning, his face divided into your thighs, moving his lips all over your sensitive skin.

The room was quiet, the only sound was your heavy panting and his lips gently grazing against your clit. His tongue flicked out to taste you, licking away the juices flowing out from the core. A soft moan and whimper let out from San's lips as he loved how sweet you taste, how your body squirmed under his touch.

You couldn't help but arch your back, your fingers digging into the mattress as you tried to hold yourself together. "Please…there…more…"

"More hm?" He grinned, kissing and biting a bit on your sensitive spot.

"Fuck…"

"Here?" He repeated, darting out his tongue to lick over where you needed him the most. No words came out from your mouth but only heavy breathing, he knew that's a point to bring you to the edge and he won't have mercy on it. He kept repeating the same move, but with a little more pressure than the previous one, enjoying how your moan became louder and louder.

You couldn't help but roll your hips, pushing yourself closer to his lips as if your body was practically screaming for release. Just a little bit more, just more. He got the signals but he wasn't done with you yet. He wanted to draw this out as long as possible, to make you ache and squirm with need. San held back, teasing you with just enough touch to keep the fire burning, but not enough to push you over the edge.

"San…please…let me come…" You needed him, a gasp escaping your lips to plead for him to give you the release you so desperately need, but he just smiled and continued on.

"Patient, babe. Just a little longer…" He murmured against your skin. His lips danced over your flesh, never quite touching where you wanted them most.

You tried to be patient but it was so hard when every bit of you was on fire. Your body was wound so tight, the tension building until you didn't think you could take much more. His tongue traced a path over you, slowly, so slowly, but it was enough to make you arch your back and gasp, your fingers clutching at his hair, tugging little. He started by taking his tongue to taste you, but then he began to move, the wet muscle working slowly, gently.

"San…hmm…" Just when you thought it was too much, he pulled away, leaving you breathless and wanting for more. He just stood in front of you, a grin tugging on his lips.

"Beg for it, babe. Tell me how bad you want me."

"Hm…please…fill me…I need you…"

"Fill you huh?What do you want me to use to fill you up? My tongue? My cock? Or My cum?"

"Everything…please…don't stop…"

"Everything?You can't be that selfish…dear…You can only choose one…"

"Please…your cum…I need it…just make me feel good…"

"You ask for it."

He suddenly pushed you down, positioning himself between your thighs. You could feel his hardened length brushed against your swollen and blushed clit, the wetness from the pre-cum on the tip causing you to squirm a bit.

"I'll be gentle…at first…" He looked down at you, his eyes were dark and filled with a possessive desire. "But I can't promise what will happen later."

He inhaled sharply, the warmth radiating from you igniting a fire within him that he could no longer resist. With a decisive thrust, he entered you in one seamless motion. A gasp escaped both your lips, the sensation overwhelming as your body instinctively tightened around him, enveloping him completely.

You arched your back, eager to connect with him, your arms encircling his shoulders, drawing him closer. Each movement of his inside you felt like a claim, a possession that left you craving more. In that moment, nothing else mattered but the pleasure he was bringing to you.

San couldn't tell where he ended and you began, so lost was he in the pleasure of being joined with you. The way your body responded to his, the moan and gasp leaving from your lips drove him insane. His body felt like it was on fire, every nerve ending alive with sensation.

"You're mine." San growled, his words almost unrecognizable through the haze of desire. "Mine to claim, mine to mark, mine to mate…"

"Yes," You gasped, your voice little more than a whisper. "Yours, I'm yours." You wrapped your legs tighter around his hips, pulling him even deeper inside you, and you could feel the pleasure building inside you like a coiled spring ready to snap. You wanted to give yourself to him completely, to let him possess you in every way.

"Take me" you pleaded, your nails digging into his skin. "Take me entirely."

Your words like a trigger to him, your touches driving him closer to the edge, and he knew that he wouldn't be able to hold back much longer. He moved even faster, deeper, driven by a primal need to claim you as his own.

"Yes, honey. You're totally mine. He repeated, his voice ragged. "And I'm going to make sure you never forget it." San lifted your leg over his shoulder, changing the angle of his thrusts. His hard tip directly met the sensitive spot, causing your whole body to tense up.

"Oh god…don't stop…" The numbness and the excitement mixed together, driving you wild. You gasped and moaned his name over and over again as if it was the only word in your mind. Your hands were everywhere on his body, running over his chest and arms, nails digging into his skin.

The tension within your body sent a signal to him, your soaked wall tightening around his fat cock each time he shoved to the depth. He knew that you just needed a little more, and he was determined to give it to you in order to push his big knot inside you.

San leaned down, his mouth finding yours in a fierce, passionate kiss. You kissed him back without care, arching up your torso as you gave him over completely. You were lost in euphoria, lost in the feel of him inside you. Everything was just overwhelming but perfectly balanced.

A little growl let out from his tongue as he suddenly pulled himself almost all the way out of you, then surged himself back in. "San!!Fuck!!" "You…really…like it..don't you?" You both gave growls which were mixed with moans, and his grip on your hips got tighter. He began to move with more force, letting his instincts completely take over and he was no longer in control of his desire. He wasn't going to stop, not until he had taken you over the edge and pushed his knot inside.

His eyes roamed on your bare body, enjoying the sight of your chest bouncing up and down from his thrusting. "Look how beautiful you are…only me can pin you like this…Am I right, Y/N?" He suddenly stressed his last words, like he was using all his strength in his lower body to push against your tight walls. "Answer me." "Ye…yes…Only you…" You squeezed your eyes shut, forcing every breath from your throat. He penetrated so deeply that your entire body began to quiver, caught in the battle to maintain a steady breath.

"Come on. Louder, Y/N. I know how loud you can be." San grinned, slapping his hips right straight to the point you scream out his name loud. He tugged your wrists harshly, making your whole body left in the air. What you could do was wrap your legs around his waist, trying your best to steady yourself while he kept thrusting, thrusting and thrusting.

The skin slapping sound mixed your high-pitch moan and his heavy panting, making other noises fade away. Your back met the messy mattress once again as he pushed you down and folded you in a mating press. There was no mercy left but only raw emotion. His tip collided with the entrance of your cavity as if asking permission to enter inside.

"Hm…San…" "Let go," he whispered, his voice rough and gravelly. "Let go, and give in to me." "San…San…" "Come for me," He commanded one more time. "Now."

It was like a bolt of lightning, striking through your body and igniting your euphonia even further. You arched up towards him, your lips meeting his in a breathless kiss. Your body was shaking with the force of the release, juices flowing out like a spring and your wall stretched to allow San to push his knot inside in one go.

"FUCK!!!" "Hold on, honey…" A cry escaped from your lips as he shoved in without mercy. Excitement and pain blended together and heightened everything between you two. He pulled you up, positioning you to straddle on him. The knot went deeper as the tip entered your deepest, a hot wave running through all over your limbs as his white hot seed filled the cavity.

You wrapped around his shoulder with your arms, your eyes shutting tightly as he sunk his fangs inside your nape, releasing his pheromones. The primal drive to claim and possess you overwhelming his mind and body. He growled deep in his throat, his hands gripping your hips tightly as he pushed forward, ensuring his seed creamed all your cavity. "God…it feels good…" He let out a low murmur against your neck, the heat spreading through his body as his sperm kept splitting out non stop, filling your cavity literally full.

"San…it's…too much…" You breathed, still trying to catch your breath after the high. "I…I can't…" "Behave." He gave your hips a smack to silence you, his grip tight on your backside to keep you in place. The way your walls clenched around him, pulling him in deeper and sucked the sperm in drove him wild. He was obsessed with this feeling, the thought that you were entirely his, and he would make sure you must his, completely and utterly.

"Fuck…babe…" He let out a long throaty moan before capturing your lips in a fervent, possessive kiss, his body pressing against yours in a relentless, commanding rhythm. "You belong to me now… eternally mine…" he breathed against your mouth, his voice a low, urgent whisper. Just as you opened your mouth to respond, his lips crashed against yours once more, his tongue delving into your mouth with a wild, primal fervor.

As the pleasure subsided, the kisses became less passionate but instead tender and soft. He held you in his arms, slowly parting from your lips and pressing several soft kisses all over your face and neck. His touch was gentle and loving, different from his rough self. "You're beautiful…Everything about you is just perfect…"

You smiled weakly, your body still trembling with aftershocks. "You're not so bad yourself," you managed to say, your voice a little hoarse.

"Not so bad?" San asked, feigning offense. "Is that all you have to say to me after I just rocked your world?" A cheeky grin spread across his face. "I'm hurt, sweetheart. Hurt."

"You're not really hurt," you said, rolling your eyes at his playful pout. "You just like making a big deal out of yourself."

San pretended to ponder this for a moment before speaking. "You might be right," he finally admitted. "But can you really blame me? I am pretty amazing." He gave you another cheeky grin.

You rested your head on his shoulder, smiling a bit. "I have nowhere to go now… but you knitted me…that means I'll follow you everywhere."

"That's my pleasure." San responds to you with a loving smile, giving you another deep kiss. "I'll never let you go from me."

"Is that a promise?"

"That's a swear." He pushed you down on the bed again before drawing you into a passionate kiss.

At this point, everything else fades into insignificance. Yunho and Jessica who once occupied your thoughts are now mere shadows; your heart is set on being with San, and nothing else holds any weight…

Oh... it seems the game has slipped your minds entirely as well.

tag list: @angelsaway, @yeosangcutie0615, @monsta-x-jagi

#ateez #ateez fanfic #ateez fic #ateez imagines #ateez x reader #ateez x female reader #ateez oneshot #ateez x y/n #ateez smut #ateez reaction #ateez san #san #choi san #san smut #san x y/n #san x you #san x reader

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booliuu · 2 days ago

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˗ˏˋToby Headcanons..PT2ˎˊ˗

ꪆৎ 𝙰/𝙽 : this is a continuation of my first headcanons oh him. Here’s the * link* if you haven’t check it out yet, btw thanks for almost 50 likes😭😭 you guys are so sweet!! anyways enjoy of me rambling about this man again :DD🫶🏼

• my inbox is open for ask and requests!!

🪓 . . He’s a taurus baaabies ( b-day April 28th!) .. may i add something too👉👈 i just know in the bottom of my heart my man def has a sagittarius moon placement or lots of fire signs placements in his birth chart. SCORPIO VENUS TOO 👀👀 he loves so intenselyyy. okok anyways-

🪓 . . He has so many piercings!! I can definitely say on his face he has a septum , nostril , bridge ,and a snake bite 😮‍💨. And for his ears he has industrial, lobes ( thought about stretching his lobes but is too scared lol) and conches done.

➯ went a bit crazy with his piercing bc his parents were so against him getting them done during his high school years. But now that he’s an adult he goes all out.

➯ takes great care of them too! ^^

🪓 . . wears fingerless gloves to mange with his rlly bad hand picking habit. don’t have nails bc how bad his his habits are :((.

🪓 . . Owns a lot of graphic tee’s and most of them are bands that he never heard of before lmao same🥲. Whatever shirt he’s wearing that day a creep or random ppl ask him what’s his favorite song or album is , he gets all awkward and he’s stands like an idiot like🧍.

➯ all sorts of baggy and ripped jeans as well ! Not a fan of tight clothes. Absolutely despises them.

🪓 . . has LOTS of scars that goes all the way back from his childhood.

🪓 . . Him & Tim before DID NOT get along at all. MAJOR BEEF WITH EACH OTHER 😭. whenever both of them were assigned on missions together, they ALWAYS be arguing about the littlest things.

* this is looong sorry ><i just love the idea that tim cares for toby. so bare with meee🥹🥹

➯ Mainly because tim behavior rubs toby the wrong way. It reminds him of his father in some ways and gets highly defensive whenever tim tells him what to do or criticizes him.

➯ Tim thinks toby as a ruthless teenager ( even though he clearly knows he an adult.) thinks he needs to be told what to do at all times . Even though he a rough exterior … little does toby know he cares about toby a lot. But of course there both to stubborn as hell to tell each that 😑.

➯ until one day toby accidentally let a victim loose. when tim found out got extremely upset at toby. The yelling definitely brought Toby thoughts of his father, as a defense mechanism toby argued back . Got a bit physical but overall LOTS of yelling, brian ( the savior-) had to step in and tell them to get over it and be nice to each for once.

➯ took a WHILE for them to apologize but they did eventually. was a bit awkward but hey at least there over it :,D . Now of days they almost have a father and son dynamic. Sometimes when both of have free time tim will show toby how to fix up a car, how to cook on a grill , yk bonding.

➯ brings Toby lots of nostalgia and confusion because he never treated like this by man before bc the only nice people he was surrounded by in his whole life was just is his mom and his sister . so surely his inner child is slowly healing. when he actually took a chance and thought about tim’s behavior towards him one night, he had to sit down for bit , beer in hand ( definitely not given by tim-) cry for a bit while tim rubs his back in comforting way while smoking a cigarette ofc.

🪓 . . owns torn up converse and doc martens. TONS of hoodies, leather jackets and winter jackets!

🪓 . . HIS ROOM!! oh good god…it’s so unorganized. mostly because his collection of clothes he picked up over the years that he borrowed TvT iykyk… never bothers to clean it. his own words not mine

Toby: “ it’s my man c-cave. my rules.”

Tim: *SIGHS*“ jesus fucking christ….. your a mess.”

🪓 . . Speaking of his room it has lots of band posters and tapestry’s!

🪓 . . Knows so much animals facts.. it’s actually scary but entertaining.he literally bring up in random ways possible. that’s toby for yea..!! :DD

🪓 . . His favorite animals consists of what’s around him in the slender forest. such deers, raccoons, fox & wolf , birds , bears and has a love for reptiles as well.

🪓 . . lol if your scared of bugs i feel sorry for you , reptiles or just any animals i have listed…he’s def the type of friend that has it cupped in his hand and shoving it in your face. Lives for your reaction. 🩷

🪓 . . a bit awkward and has a cold front when you first meet him. he likes to observe, doesn’t trust ppl easily. If he likes you slowly opens his shell and he shows his true colors such being a little shit, teasing you playful ofc, butting head with you 24/7. eeehh..but if he hates you good luck with this one… he make it known he doesn’t like you . you won’t know but others who know him do.

🪓 . . Growing up he was known for being the shy quiet kid that never speaks up for himself. He thinks about it now and really started changing meaning slowly and eventually he became more confident. like throwing sarcastic comments , knows lots of good clap backs or calling out’s if someone offended him or something. he’s changed man guys nothing like his younger self. proud of him 🥹

🪓 . . I see ppl saying that he’s the kind of friend that wants to be around you 24/7. 100% agree 👍 . yk hanging out in yours or his rooms for like smoke breaks, joining you during missions, watching tiktok’s & sending them to you even though your in the same room as he is , or even just simply pure silent and just basking in each others presence.

Toby: t-t-this is so you…

Toby: * sents you a tiktok*

You: bruh wtfff

* cue him laughing his ass off

🪓 . . Going to the local drug store to grab some slushes and junk food. HE LIVES FOR THOSE HANGS OUTS. TELL ME IM WRONG.

› › › i’ll make sure to be more in depth with this one :3 so be in a look out for some platonic toby headcanons in the future!!! ^^

🪓 . . Everytime someone says toby loves waffles sighs…. man i’m telling you right now an angel loses it wings ☹️ 👎. He has extended food palette than that y’all c’mon.

🪓 . . i mean it’s not the best diet… it literally just energy drinks but at least his friends look out for him and leave him take out because they know he doesn’t feel hunger like we do.

🪓 . . due to that, he has a lean built. Has a bit of a 6 pack ( you have to squint to see em ) and has muscles on his arms . He’s really proud of his arms lol. Has a bit of beard?? Scruff?? idk what’s it’s called going on too ^^ shaves ones in a while. aaaand..hehe has a happy trail situation... ANYWAYSSSS that’s for next time 😉.

🪓 . . yk how how i said he has a collection of phones he… collected *cough🪓🪓 cough*… firm believer he has playlist in each phone of them that consists of western emo music. also.. DAD ROCK .

🪓 . . his favorite weather has to be autumn because the animals around forest comes out more and he hangs out and pets all of them. likes looking at the trees and how each of the leaves are changing colors.

🪓 . . his joints pop loud real bad whenever he stretching , walking , or running . it pisses him so badly lolll.

🪓 . . loves sleeping and taking naps🫶🏼 whenever or whatever. like tree tops , his bed, closet, ect. hates mornings with passion prefers to sleep in. toby 🤞power naps . downside being that he snores like no one business and moves around his sleep.

🪓 . . blind on his left eye and that same eye has a permanent split eyebrow from the car crash.

🪓 . . Even though i want say he smells like vanilla or something sweet naaah …. srry bby😔. he gotta smell like the woods , dirt, bl*od.. sometimes , or even pinewood. From time to time smells like cheap shampoo and conditioner when he remembers to shower.

🪓 . . lastly his hair.. HIS 👏HAIR 😭😭 it’s so soft…he’s rocking shaggy haircut that tim trims once in a while.

𝚍𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚍𝚜: @bloodibambiidol & @kodaswrld ✨ there stuff is cool check it out!

ꪆৎ 𝙰/𝙽 : HEEEEY IM BACK, i know posted 2-3?? days ago and honestly im so happy to it has so many likes already. thank you so much 🫶🏼 it means so much to me!! i’ll try to post as consistent as i can but no promises. 😣As of right now my wips are a bunch of toby headcanons and one shots i need to finish and post and dw other characters too dww🤍🤍.

* feedback is always welcome. if you like my content please don’t get to like or reblog ^^.

liuuboo2025 do not copy , translate or plagiarize any of my works. thank you ♡ﾟ

#₊‧꒰ა🍓 liu's post #creepypasta #ticci toby headcanons #toby rogers #creepypasta headcanon #creepypasta x reader #ticci toby x reader #ticci toby creepypasta #ticci toby fluff #toby erin rogers #creepypasta fandom #headcanons

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readingiskeepingmegoing · 1 hour ago

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The fact that you posted this on my birthday made me squeal with glee!

My first thoughts were of the way Dieter had taken care of me in every way possible after the show. He brought me home, made an amazing dinner, and ran a hot bath as he promised. He joined me in the tub, massaging my neck, shoulders, and back as he his lips trailed behind his hands - managing to get me completely relaxed and turned on in the process. He followed that with a scalp massage as he washed the product from my hair before rinsing with the handheld sprayer. I offered to wash his in return since it still had all of the gel in it from the show, but he refused, instead drying me off and sending me to bed while he jumped in the shower.

He really is an acts of service love language kind of guy, isn't he? His desire to give the care which he himself has lacked is so adorable

He really was putting in the effort to experience all forms of intimacy, always looking out for me and taking care of me in ways that Alec had never even tried.

Asshat Alec! Such a douchebag. 😒

Even as my brain shouted at me to slow things down, my body craved him.

Kat is all of us, and we are Kat!

He smiled and nodded against the pillow, “So good. It’s so much better with you here.” I felt my heart flutter as his chocolate eyes danced around my face. I could see that strange look there again, like he wanted to say something but didn’t.

Both of them just need to say it. Acknowledge that it has happened fast and that they need to be careful, but stop dancing around the subject (pun fully intended) 😂

He continued, “I’ll get a new number, OK? I was thinking about doing it anyway because I’m pretty sure one of my dealers texted me the other day…I blocked him…just so we’re clear.”

I love that his first thought is to get a new number and not try to just explain it away. That is a lot growth from Dieteer, pre-rehab pre-Kat Dieter wouldn't have done that.

A soft curl fell down over his eyes as he glanced down to place his hands and began strumming a bluesy intro. His demeanor shifted, seeming almost melancholy as he began to sing.

🥹

That song is so perfect for Dieter, it made me really emotional.

He lifted his head, pressing it against mine as he hugged me just a little tighter.  “Thank you for coming. I needed this…needed you.” 

I love that they are so in tune with each other.

There was no question about it now, I was in love with him. It ran deeper than it ever had with Alec or anyone else. The realization caused my heart to race as the anxiety set in. Was this too fast? Too soon? We’re either of us really ready for this? 

Is it too fast? Probably.

Is it too soon? More than likely.

Are they both ready for it? Absolutely!

“I think I should maybe tell you why I had such a strong reaction to the Alec thing…it’s sort of the root of everything…why I am the way I am…”

😭

It explains so much. My heart aches for him.

I love that Evan has been there for him from the beginning though.

Things were definitely evolving between us, yet again. After the events from earlier in the day, I could tell something had changed. It was like all of the broken pieces of our being were slowly falling back into place and somehow converging into one. With every new piece that found its place, our connection steadily grew. Part of me questioned if it was real or just being overblown and intensified by the circumstances we found ourselves in. I hated to think like that, but it was something to consider. 

Dont over think it Kat. Just let it happen. You both need it, and you need each other.

He huffed as he mumbled out a gravelly, “Fine.” Then he turned, snuggling Zee instead. “Guess I’ll just cuddle my other cat then.” 

She stood with her hands on her hips as she looked me up and down, “I thought he was done bringing hussies home?”

I love Cora instantly. No nonsense is precisely what Dieter needs to keep him in line.

She sighed, “Kat, seriously?” She paused and rubbed at the crease between her brows as she continued, “So there is something to that TMZ article then? Please tell me he at least fucked some sense into you and made ya realize that Alec was a shitty lay?”

🙌🏻

I feel like Lydia and Cora would get along famously.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake. There’s nothing wrong with it, woman. You don’t have to have freshly cooked protein with every meal.”

You've spoiled her, there's no going back now. She's a queen and will only accept queenly meals.

Omg he did the foot thing!

He reached up to brush a stray hair away from my face as he took me in, “You know…I wouldn’t be upset if every night for the rest of my life ended like this…with us together…you make me happier than I ever thought possible.”  He kissed the top of my head, seeming to sense my anxiety, then leaned his cheek against it as he spoke, “I’m sorry, I probably shouldn’t have said that…I wanna take things at a pace you're OK with. I don’t want you to feel rushed. I mean it when I say you’re important to me and…I don’t wanna fuck this up.”

Get out of your head Kat. Just let him love you the way you deserve. It will heal you both.

There was no question about my feelings for her. I knew I was in love, but did the intensity between us mean she felt the same about me?

She does, she'll get to the point where she can tell you, just keep doing what you're doing.

“What do they mean when they say SuccDee? Is that a dirty plant joke? I don’t understand the context.”

That made me cackle so hard.

This fact was sort of blowing my mind as I peeked over at Zee, the mention of her name rousing her from a deep sleep. “Damn Zee, I wish you could talk. I wanna know what they say…Maybe I should talk to them more?”

Oh, we need to have Kat sneak up on Dieter while he's talking to the plants!

Zee chose that moment to paw a glass that was still about one fourth of the way full of water off the coffee table, which broke our spell and the glass.

Zee is getting so naughty. I can't decide if she's feeling a bit put out that her parents are paying each other more attention than they are paying her or if she now feels completely comfortable and at home and this is the real Zee, Mischief Maker #1.

She snorted, “My plants are lucky to get water. They come to my house to survive, not live.” I shook my head and scoffed out a laugh, “That’s just depressing. Don’t tell me that. Imma have to start checking in on them.”

Hmmm, how long until those plants relocate to Dieter's house?

I hadn't recovered from reading the beach/kitchen scene in the teaser!

I shrugged even though he couldn’t see me, “I kind of don’t care. I’m going with it. I’ll head it off and do a cryptic Instagram post. Besides, it might be fun to fuck with Stacia and Joe some. I wanna see their heads explode when they realize their fairytale showmance isn’t happening after all.”

Bahahahahahaha! Stacia will be devastated 🤣

I chuckled, “Ahh, filling up the spank bank then. I’m flattered.” I gave her a cocky grin and waggled my eyebrows, “If you want some nudes all you have to do is ask. I might even let you take them yourself.”

I posted it. There was no caption, only emojis, “👉👌🤯🤯🤯😏”

He's such a menace.

As I was finishing up with Zee’s gourmet meal, Kat came into the kitchen. Her brows furrowed as she pointed her finger to something behind me and busted out her best mom voice, “Zee, don’t you dare.”

Zee is so naughty, she gets that from her daddy.

I gave him my new number, then he sent me a text message so I could save his to my contact list. That was a development I wasn’t expecting, but I was strangely happy about it.

This made me emotional. He's growing his circle and finding friends. I love this for him 🥹

Marc seemed extremely interested in this, leaning forward with excitement in his eyes, “That’s amazing. I was actually considering doing the same. I still haven’t decided if I’m gonna do another season or not…but I did want to look at something like that when I’m finished. Maybe we can team up.”

That sounds like such an amazing idea. I think it would work well for all involved.

They definitely fucked, at least once. Nobody pay attention to that vibrating sound… This is how pornos start. I’m not mad about it. So, IT IS a throuple then? I think Dieter’s secret lady likes to watch. I don’t blame her…Kat’s ass is a work of art. I’m still calling it a conspiracy. Kat is the beach chic. I know that ass and those thighs.

The Dieterina stans are definitely not buying their little ruse.

We need more friendly get-togethers like this, while Dieter and Kat are building their little family at home, they are also building their community.

That song is so perfect for Dieter and Kat, I'm so glad you liked it 😘

Marc was still chuckling as he said, “I’m sure Stacia and Joe are gonna have a lot to say about that.”

Hahahahaha, Stacia going to be trying her damndest to figure what is going on and what she can use for ratings.

I don’t think I paid a lick of attention to anything the judges actually said. All I know is we got another perfect score, putting us in first place - again.

As if they could be anywhere else. It has to be killing Alec that they are doing so well.

I 100% blame Mr. Pascal for his holiday beach antics.

It's like he knew you needed a little something to get you going 😂

Dieter and Kat are getting pretty close. They are completely embedding each other in the other's life. All of Dieter's people know now and Kat's sister knows. Dieter is pouring his heart out and sharing about his past, yet Kat is still in her head about everything. Do we smell drama brewing there?

I feel like at some point Kat is going to have a wobbly moment and try to shut Dieter out, and he's going to have to do his damnedest to coax her out of her spiral.

They've also made some new friends. How are we feeling about Marc and crew? Good or bad?

I love that they are making friends. It's good that they have support against Alec, Stacia and Joe.

Dieter has started his Instagram live shit. More to come on that. Also...his Instagram posts, that man is stirring up all the drama with those. Good or bad idea?

I loved his Live. It could be a good outlet for him, as long as people keep their peace in the comments. He's not going to stand for any disrespect of Kat from anyone.

Closed Position: Week 7 (Paso Doble)

Closed Position Masterlist ||| Main Masterlist Dieter Bravo x OFC (Katarina)

Series Summary: Dieter Bravo, now sober, was looking to change his bad boy image after hitting rock bottom. His team hoped that having him join the nationally televised family friendly dance competition, Dancing with the Stars, would be a good first step, if they can keep him out of trouble.

Katarina Stamos expected her last season as a professional dancer on the show to go the same as it had for the past thirteen seasons. That all changed when she was partnered with the infamous Dieter Bravo.

Dieter and Katarina are reluctantly thrown into their partnership and must learn to work together to succeed in the competition. In the process they form a deeper connection beyond the dance floor that neither anticipated.

Chapter Word Count: 28.5k (I went off the rails again.)

👉 Warnings: Themes dealing with intimate partner violence (not by or toward Dieter), past alcohol abuse, and past drug abuse. There will be fluff, tears, spicy language, and smut. This will be a slow burn. Read at your own risk. Dieter Bravo comes with his own warnings.

👉 Chapter Warnings: Dieter and Kat both being a menace, smut, fluff, angst in the form of discussions about childhood trauma (including homophobic comments)

Chapter Quote: “I actually meant what I said earlier…I’m bending you over the counter and fucking you when we get back to the house.”

Kat’s POV When I awoke on Tuesday morning, my body felt strangely satiated after the previous evening's exploits. My mind, however, was swirling with more thoughts and emotions than I could process. My first thoughts were of the way Dieter had taken care of me in every way possible after the show. He brought me home, made an amazing dinner, and ran a hot bath as he promised. He joined me in the tub, massaging my neck, shoulders, and back as he his lips trailed behind his hands - managing to get me completely relaxed and turned on in the process. He followed that with a scalp massage as he washed the product from my hair before rinsing with the handheld sprayer. I offered to wash his in return since it still had all of the gel in it from the show, but he refused, instead drying me off and sending me to bed while he jumped in the shower. I didn’t even bother to get dressed, choosing to collapse into the fluffy duvet completely naked.

I was lying stretched out on my stomach when Dieter came out of the bathroom and crawled up my body, continuing where he left off as he massaged my thighs and hips for several minutes. He eventually moved upward, peppering kisses along my spine until he reached my neck. I tilted my head to give him better access as he rubbed his patchy beard against my skin. The length of his body pressed against mine, which made it obvious he was aroused.

His teeth grazed my earlobe, causing me to moan and arch my ass upward into him. He nipped and sucked at my neck as he pressed his hard length against me. My hand found its way to the hair at the top of his head, tugging slightly as I told him I needed him again. He wasted no time, positioning himself at my entrance and slowly sinking in. He covered my body with his, pinning me to the bed as he began his steady, but slow rhythm. After propping himself up on his left elbow, his hand found mine and entwined our fingers together, squeezing it tightly. His right hand roamed my body before finding a home under my chin, tilting my head back so he could give me an upside-down kiss on the lips.

As things got more intense, I collapsed, face down into the plush bedding as he continued to lavish my neck and shoulder with attention from his mouth. My fingers tangled in his hair again as I turned my head to search for his lips. After a passionate kiss, he pulled away and rested his forehead against the side of my temple. We stayed like that for a time, inhaling each other's breath and getting lost in the sensations that our bodies were creating as we moved as one.

It was almost foreign to me, how he could make any position feel that intimate. It didn’t matter if we could stare deeply into each other's eyes or not, I could still feel the connection with him. It was there in the way he touched and held me. Our bodies communicated in ways I had never experienced - using all the senses to bond us together. I surmised that it had to be because of the way that we spent our time together, building something that I couldn’t really understand or explain.

The past week with Dieter had been strangely domesticated. It was full of homemade meals and lots of cuddling. He stuck to his word about keeping this thing between us as something more, not always turning to sex for a connection. He really was putting in the effort to experience all forms of intimacy, always looking out for me and taking care of me in ways that Alec had never even tried. I hated him doing so much, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. Even when things would get heated between us, he would keep his focus on me and expect nothing in return. Always being perfectly satisfied with a good cuddle and head scratches.

However, after all of our incredibly intimate moments, I still felt like he was holding something back. I could see it in his eyes, often swimming with some sort of emotion. I didn’t want to push him because I knew he would open up eventually. I did sometimes worry that he was hiding something that he thought might upset me. For as connected as we were, it still felt like parts of him were a mystery.

Those thoughts didn’t seem to dampen my need to be near him though. The one night I went home to rest because I wasn’t feeling well was strangely lonely and unsettling. I didn’t get a lot of sleep, having thoughts of Alec sneaking in under the cover of darkness and choking me in my slumber definitely didn’t help. I hadn’t felt that anxious since the incident, now realizing it was because of Dieter. He was keeping those fears away without even trying. They were gone as soon as I reunited with him. When I went to his house the following night, I fell asleep without a worry in the world because he was there with me.

I did appreciate Dieter’s need to focus on intimacy outside of sex. We managed a whole week without it, but after all the closeness of the week and the fire that blazed between us during our Argentine Tango performance, I couldn’t hold out anymore. I shocked myself when I suggested we fuck in the dressing room. That was one thing I had never done even though Alec tried to initiate it multiple times. I was always too worried about getting caught. It was different with Dieter though. He was slowly waking something up inside of me that I didn’t recognize. The way I craved him had reached a boiling point and I couldn’t fight it anymore. I wanted him in every way he would let me have him.

I had never really been a fan of rough sex in the past, but as with everything else, it was different with Dieter. There was the connection between us of course, but he was also passionate. He somehow managed to turn it into something else, full of emotion and sensuality. It was a lot to process and to be honest, the sheer aching need that I had for him was scaring the hell out of me. He was quickly becoming an addiction for me. The way he made me feel confident, desired, and cared for was all the things that I had been missing, and it was thrilling. Even as my brain shouted at me to slow things down, my body craved him. After fucking in the dressing room, I still needed more.

As his body moved against mine, his scent completely engulfed me - making me feel intoxicated by him. My skin was tingling from his affectionate touches, my lips burning from his passionate kisses, and my heart skipping beats from whatever this emotion was that was taking over my very being. His soft sighs and deep groans against my ear sent shivers down my spine and had me coming undone underneath him in no time. He followed soon after, nearly collapsing on top of me before moving to the left, still half draped across my body.

His hands ghosted over my skin as he placed the occasional kiss on my shoulder, eventually dozing off for the night after flipping the duvet over us. That was how we still found ourselves this morning, his steady exhales blowing against the base of my neck, causing my skin to break out in goosebumps. I could feel the weight of Zee laying across my feet, both of them cocooning me in warmth. Everything about it felt so right, yet a little voice in the back of my head still questioned it. It was almost too good to be true.

Dieter stirred, nuzzling his face further into the crook of my neck as he inhaled deeply and hugged me tighter against him.

My sleep filled voice greeted him, “Good morning.”

He sighed as he kissed my shoulder, “Morning, beautiful.”

To Zee’s dismay, I turned over to face him. She grumbled as she got situated again. We both snickered at her before turning our attention back to each other. I could partially make out a crease down the side of his face from laying on the blanket. I smiled as I ran my finger along it. “You sleep well?” I finally asked.

He smiled and nodded against the pillow, “So good. It’s so much better with you here.”

I felt my heart flutter as his chocolate eyes danced around my face. I could see that strange look there again, like he wanted to say something but didn’t.

I cleared my throat, “You ready for another production meeting this morning?”

He rolled his eyes, inhaling deeply before answering. “I don’t see why we have to meet with them every week. Can’t they just send that shit in an email?”

I chuckled, “They could…but then they couldn’t be nosey and try to make drama for the show.”

“Ugh, such bullshit. Why can’t they just let the show be about dancing?”

I gave him a tight smile, “That’s not how they get high ratings.”

Dieter's phone rang on the nightstand, ruining our morning chat. He sighed, turning to grab the shrilling device and finding his agent’s name flashing across the screen. He pressed ‘answer’ and brought it to his ear, “You should know better than to call me this early in the morning, Lenny.”

I could hear a deep chuckle on the other end of the line, “Sorry to call you so early, D…but we have a potential issue. There are rumors circulating that there was a serious altercation with you and Kat’s ex last week. Is there any truth to that? Does that have anything to do with the schedule changes?”

Dieter puffed air out of his cheeks as he glanced over at me. He had obviously kept his agent in the dark about that.

“There was…a minor incident. He attacked Kat and I pulled him off her. They did change our schedules around so that Kat doesn’t have to be near him.”

“Damnit Dieter…can you please stay out of trouble? You’re on the upswing right now…”

I could tell Dieter was frustrated as his jaw tensed. “Sorry Len, but I’m not gonna stand by while someone close to me gets mistreated. I’m sure the public can understand that.”

Lenny sighed loudly into the phone, “Fine…you’re right. I’ll get Janine on it and see if she can put out the fire. If you get any questions about it, don’t answer them. Maybe it’ll go away. I’m told there are some pap pics of the guy though…and his face is busted up. So, I’m not sure if it will.”

Dieter’s brows furrowed, “Is he saying anything about it?”

“No, it’s mostly speculation I think…but they know for sure there have been schedule changes. It’s TMZ, you know how they draw conclusions about shit.”

Dieter nodded, “Yeah, well…my lips are sealed. I’m confident Janine can handle it as long as that douchebag isn’t running his mouth. I’m sure he doesn’t want people to know about it anyway.”

The call ended soon after that as it was time for us to get ready for our production meeting. It wasn’t long before we found ourselves sitting in front of our two favorite people, Stacia and Joe. They were unusually pleasant, making small talk and checking in with me to make sure I was doing ok, and that Alec hadn’t been out of line since they had apparently had a conversation with him after our last meeting. Stacia, of course, complemented our last performance, making a point to mention how great our chemistry was on the dance floor. She was fishing for anything she could get her hands on, but we gave her nothing. We politely thanked her and redirected our conversation to this week's performance.

I had to bite back a groan when Joe gave us our dance for the week, the Paso Doble with a traditional Spanish style song called Uccen. It was definitely going to wear me out. I had a feeling Dieter would enjoy it since the dance was more focused on the man’s performance, but I could already envision him whining about how tired he was.

They handed over the costume sketches, putting us both in all red again, which wasn’t unusual. Black and red were pretty typical looks for this dance. My costume had a Spanish feel to it with layers of fabric that bunched up in the back. It was shorter in the front and very flowy. It had a halter top with the same flowy fabric draped to cover the necessary areas, leaving the back completely open. They had Dieter in a red suit with a textured button up shirt. After approving the looks, we were pretty much done with the meeting. I was thankful this one was drama free. I did not need my day ruined by them.

After the meeting, we continued our tradition of grabbing lunch together. We settled on a small cafe nearby. The staff seated us on the outdoor patio, so we made sure to be on our best behavior because there were eyes everywhere. We were even approached by a few fans to take pictures and happily obliged. Dieter was all smiles as he interacted with them, seeming perfectly at ease while I was still trying to get used to having this much attention from strangers. He seemed to sense my anxiousness, smiling gently as he reached over to give my hand a quick squeeze after they left us.

(More after the graphic.)

We were off to the dance studio for rehearsals after that, beginning the week like we always did, by listening to our song. Dieter’s head bobbed along with the fast-paced Spanish and mediterranean style guitars mixed with folk undertones. It was obvious this would be different from anything we had done thus far.

Once the music concluded, I clapped my hands together dramatically, “Ok, Bravo. You’re probably about to love and hate this dance.”

His brows furrowed, “Why?”

I huffed out a laugh, “Because it’s dramatic and fun, but it’s also gonna wear your ass out.”

His brows arched as he gave me a wide-eyed stare, “I mean, you do that already.”

I rolled my eyes and fought a smile as I stood from where we were seated on the floor, then pulled him up to join me.

“So, the Paso Doble comes from sixteenth century Spain and France. It literally translates to ‘double step’ and it’s very high energy and very…theatrical…meant to imitate a bullfighter and his cape. You would be the matador in this instance…the star of the show. I need you to have strong posture and emote power with your body and facial expressions. I’ll be your cape, with more graceful and fluid movements at times. We’re gonna be doing sort of a marching style rhythm with staccato footwork along with that. Like I said, it’s fun…but tiring.”

Dieter gave me a tight smile, “Can we look at some videos of this before we get started? I feel like that might help get me going. I have a feeling what I’m envisioning ain’t it.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at him. At least he was honest. He went into full work mode after that, studying each video I pulled up for him. After an hour of video watching and making notes on some things that stood out to us, we got started on the basics. He picked those up quickly, allowing us to begin planning our choreography.

As predicted, Dieter was gasping for air and whining about being exhausted before the rehearsal time was over. Not that I could blame him, I was too. And it was only the first day. He was doing amazing though, and I made sure to tell him as much. I knew he would enjoy the theatrics of this dance which helped make up for how much work was involved.

We basically crashed when we got back to his place. After seven and a half hours of going non-stop, we were spent. We barely had the energy to eat dinner and shower before climbing into bed early, tangling ourselves up together and zonking out for the night.

We started our Wednesday morning off with Dieter receiving a text from Janine, his publicist. It was a link to a newly posted TMZ article.

I watched as he leaned across the kitchen island and scanned the article. His eyes crossed as he let out an annoyed groan and passed the phone to me.

(More after the graphic.)

Dieterina Spotted Getting Cozy During Lunch After Alleged On-Set Drama Dancing with the Stars (DWTS) fan favorites Dieter Bravo and Katarina Stamos were spotted having lunch at a LA cafe yesterday. Witnesses say they seemed very cozy and touchy during their meal in between posing for pictures with fans. This sighting comes after rumors began to circulate about a possible altercation between Dieter and Kat’s ex, professional dancer Alec Balaska, after last week's live show. If you recall, Dieter and Kat set the ballroom ablaze with their sultry performance and intense chemistry during their Argentine Tango, which earned them a perfect score for the week. It’s easy to see how that could have caused tensions to rise backstage. We have no confirmation that Dieter and Kat are officially an item, but they definitely seem to be getting close. TMZ sources have not confirmed the altercation took place, but we can confirm there have been schedule changes that appear to have happened in an effort to keep Dieter and Kat separated from Alec as much as possible. It must also be noted that Kat did not dance with the same group as Alec during last week’s professional performances, which could help back those claims. Alec was spotted out and about in LA with his DWTS partner and new love interest, Lana Thompson, earlier this week. He appeared to have bruises on his face but gave no response as to how he got them. His reps refused to comment. We reached out to Dieter’s publicist who also refused to comment on the situation.

Included with the article were pictures of Dieter and I at the cafe. There were several with his hand resting atop mine as he smiled my way. There were also several zoomed in stills of our Argentine Tango performance along with an embedded video and pictures of Alec and Lana seated in Alec’s car.

I sighed, “They really will post anything for clicks, won’t they?”

Dieter nodded, “Yep, bullshit…as usual. For all they know, he could have fallen on his face during rehearsal. It’s plausible…I’ve done it enough to know.”

I chuckled, nodding in agreement. Just as I was about to hand Dieter’s phone back, a text popped up. There was no name, only a number. I felt my stomach drop when I unintentionally read the message.

646-333-4545: It was nice bumping into you. Call me, so we can get together. I do miss having your mouth on me. 😉

I slid the phone toward him as I tried to control my breathing, “Umm…you have a text.”

He picked up his phone, brows furrowing in confusion as he read it. “I have no idea who that is…I’ve not bumped into anyone.”

I watched as he swiped, then selected ‘block’ on the screen.

I didn’t say anything, but my face must have. When he finally looked at me, I could see the worry in his eyes.

He began shaking his head as he approached me, “I swear I don’t know who that is…maybe that actress from New York? I haven’t bumped into anyone besides her…I didn’t even have the number saved. I-I’ve been getting a lot of texts like this since SNL…people trying to hit me up to party. I’ve blocked them all, you can check. Maybe I just need to get a new number…I deleted everyone I didn’t need to talk to when I got out of rehab. I swear…”

The longer he rambled, the more panicked he sounded. I took a deep centering breath, realizing I needed to give him some leniency. It was obvious he didn’t have the number saved, and that bitch had been pushy.

He continued, “I’ll get a new number, OK? I was thinking about doing it anyway because I’m pretty sure one of my dealers texted me the other day…I blocked him…just so we’re clear.”

I gave him a tight smile as I reached to cup his cheek, “Hey, it's OK. I believe you.”

He visibly relaxed into my touch, “I’m sorry. I don’t want you to think I’m doing shady shit, because I’m not. I won’t do that to you.”

The rational part of my brain finally caught up to my emotions. We've spent ninety-five percent of our time together since we got back from New York. I would have noticed something if he was talking to other people. He was rarely on his phone, and when he was, I was usually at his side looking at it with him as we watched funny videos together.

I pulled him in for a hug, “It’s OK. I have no reason to think you’re lying.”

He backed away, “Imma text Evan right now actually…and have him take care of all that. I want zero doubts.”

And he did text Evan after that. I never would have asked him to change his number, but the fact that he offered and got right on it did make me feel better. Alec never would have offered. It was another reminder of how completely different they were.

Dieter made sure to take a few minutes to apologize, cuddling on the couch before I had to leave for the professional's dance rehearsal and him for his weekly therapy session. By the time I walked out the door with promises to meet up with him at the dance studio for our evening rehearsal, the whole incident was an afterthought.

The professional’s dance rehearsal definitely had a new vibe. I could tell other cast members were looking at me differently - curiosity maybe? I tried not to pay them any attention, allowing Marc to distract me from it when we weren’t receiving instructions. He and Stefanie both had become allies in this whole mess. Given that they knew what actually happened, I had to respect that they were keeping the information quiet while not so subtly choosing a side. Marc had mentioned that people were asking him what he knew, but he refused to comment. He really was a good guy, I hadn’t given him enough credit for that in the past.

Once we wrapped up rehearsal for the day, I made my way over to grab my water bottle. As I took small sips, I picked up my phone to scroll through the missed notifications. I had a text message from my sister asking why she hadn’t heard from me and telling me to call her. Since I had been spending all of my free time with Dieter, I had pretty much gone radio silent with her. I shot her a quick response, promising to call her the following day since we had a late rehearsal.

I was silently debating if I should tell my sister about my relationship with Dieter as I moved on to the Instagram notifications. My brows furrowed when I came to the notification that said, ‘bangingbravo1 was live (45 min ago)’. Well, that’s new.

I quickly collected my things, telling Marc goodbye as I made my way to the car. After tossing my bag into the back, I sank down into the driver’s seat, pulling my phone out as I closed and locked the doors. My curiosity was making me anxious to see what Dieter was up to since this wasn’t something he normally did. I wasted no time opening Instagram and clicking the notification. He was no longer live, but the video was posted to his story.

It appeared that he was sitting in the same spot he had been in when he and I played guitars together all those weeks ago. His black acoustic sat perched on his lap as he briefly fiddled with the camera. He then proceeded to strum and tune the instrument for a short time before glancing up and smiling, welcoming his growing number of viewers. He took a few minutes, answering questions that popped up - some about Zee, some about his plants. Someone must have asked about me, causing him to smirk as he explained that I was at dance rehearsal for the professionals, noting that he and I would be rehearsing later in the day. Then he cleared his throat, getting to the reason for going live.

“So…I’ve been getting a lot of messages and comments asking me to do more playing and singing. I hear you…so, we’re gonna give this a try and see how it goes.”

A soft curl fell down over his eyes as he glanced down to place his hands and began strumming a bluesy intro. His demeanor shifted, seeming almost melancholy as he began to sing.

This song has two very different versions and I love both. Give them a listen. 🎶Version 1 🎶 Version 2

When the sins of my father / Weigh down in my soul / And the pain of my mother / Will not let me go / Well, I know there can come fire from the sky / To refine the purest of kings / And even though I know this fire brings me pain / Even so, And just the same

His voice was full of emotion and grit as his unblinking eyes fixed on something just out of frame. He sounded soulful, but there was an edge of pain to the lyrics as they appeared to have deeper meaning to him. I knew him well enough to know that he was feeling the words, seeming to dredge up old memories or feelings. It had me wondering what he had discussed with his therapist that morning, because I knew he didn’t pick that song at random. Music was an outlet for him. It meant something.

All seed needs the water / Before it grows out of the ground / But it just keeps on getting hard / And the hunger more profound / Well, I know there can come tears from the eyes / But they may as well all be in vain / Even though I know these tears come with pain / Even so, And just the same

His line of sight drifted, appearing to focus on nothing as he took on a far-away look. A deep crease formed between his brows, his eyes turning somewhat glassy as he belted out the next verse. I had never seen him like this, but I knew that look all too well from experience. He was reliving something from his past. Something painful that had potentially shaped him into the man he had become - both the old and new version of himself.

And let the clouds fill with thunderous applause / And let lightning be the veins / And fill the sky with all that they can drop / When it's time to make a change

As he finished out the song with the last few refrains of the chorus, I realized tears were streaming down my cheeks. Every hair on my body was standing on end as my flesh pebbled from the sound of his voice. I could feel it in my soul. The connection that he and I seemed to share only made me feel it that much deeper. I couldn’t recall anything ever having affected me like this before.

After the last lyric left his lips, he inhaled deeply to center himself. He sat silently for a beat, then his eyes flicked up to the camera. They were pools of emotion as he gave a small smile that didn’t reach his eyes. He was obviously reading the flood of comments filling the stream. Then he finally spoke.

“You all are too kind…it’s more than I probably deserve.”

He paused, swallowing thickly as he continued to read the comments. He nodded, “I’ll uhh, yeah, I’ll do another live soon…thank you.”

After saying his goodbyes, the stream ended. I had to take a moment to pull myself together. We were supposed to meet at the dance studio for rehearsal in an hour and a half, but I couldn’t wait. Something told me that I needed to go to him. So, I did.

When I got to his house, I knocked and rang the doorbell, but there was no answer. Figuring he was still upstairs and maybe couldn’t hear it, I tried the doorknob. To my surprise, it was unlocked. So, I let myself in and headed toward his sanctuary.

I found him with wireless headphones on, slouched back into the chair and lazily strumming the strings on his guitar. He still had that vacant far-away look in his eyes as he stared at nothing. My movement in the doorway must have caught his attention because his eyes snapped toward me as he paused his motions.

His brows furrowed as he pulled the headphones off, giving a small smile as he asked, “What are you doing here? I thought we were meeting at the dance studio?”

Moving toward him, I could tell something was off. He looked like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders, and I hated it. As I stood in front of him, our gazes met. He sighed, then placed the guitar back on its stand next to the chair and set the headphones on the floor beside it. His eyes met mine as he worried at his bottom lip with his teeth.

“Are you OK?” I finally asked.

His shoulders slumped as he leaned back in his seat and scratched at his patchy beard, now avoiding my gaze.

“No. But I’m gettin’ there. One day at a time…”

My feet carried me forward as I reached to run my hands through the top of his messy curls. He sighed as his arms found their way around my waist, pulling me to him so he could rest his head against my chest. I needed to be closer, shifting so that I could raise first the right, then the left leg to straddle his lap. He hugged me tighter as he buried his face into the curve of my neck and inhaled deeply. I could feel him relaxing more and more with each breath that he took.

He lifted his head, pressing it against mine as he hugged me just a little tighter.

“Thank you for coming. I needed this…needed you.”

My nose brushed against his, “You have me. Tell me what you need from me.”

He shook his head, “I…I don’t know.”

My right hand moved to his chest. I could feel his heart thrumming away under my palm as his eyes pooled with tears and his breathing became shallow. He seemed lost. I needed to bring him back and ground him to the present.

After extracting myself from his embrace, I stood, taking his hand and leading him to the bedroom. I pulled him into a deep kiss, eventually breaking away to slowly undress him and trail soft touches and kisses along his body. His hands explored every inch of newly exposed skin as I undressed myself next. Once we were bare, I led him to the bed where we both lay down facing each other. He pulled me against him, tangling limbs together as we held each other. His face found its way back to the curve of my neck as he took deep and steady breaths to calm himself. I cradled his head against me, gently running my fingers through his fluffy curls to soothe him.

We stayed like that for a time. Strangely, it didn’t feel sexual at all. Yet, it had to be one of the most intimate moments I had ever experienced with another person. He was showing me his vulnerability, sharing his pain with me as our bare skin touched from head to toe - allowing ourselves to be connected physically and emotionally without judgement. The intensity of it was scary but also mixed with a strange feeling of relief and security. It was a hard feeling to wrap my head around as I tried to stay present for him.

Once his breathing settled to normal, he pulled away to meet my gaze with a serene expression. His eyes danced around my face as his hand glided up and down the side of my body. I would give anything to know what was going on in his head at that moment. The way he was looking at me caused the air to crackle around us. It felt like there was something he wanted to say, but instead, he leaned forward and captured my lips with his. It was slow, passionate, and needy.

We melted into each other, further deepening the connection that I currently felt humming between us. As I moved against him, touching and tasting his skin, I could feel his hardness growing and rubbing against my center. He groaned into my mouth as I began to grind against it, coating his length in my arousal. He wasted no time shifting so that he was between my thighs and sinking in to the hilt as he caged me in between his arms. His hips didn’t move, but he continued to kiss me deeply as I hugged him tightly.

Several minutes passed before we broke apart. His hips finally began their painfully slow thrusts as we got lost in each other's eyes. This didn’t feel like it was about the sex for him. Maybe it was his way of staying grounded in the present. Or, perhaps it was about strengthening whatever bond was forming between us. Maybe it was even a little bit of both. There were definitely some strong emotions swirling around us as we moved together. It was almost overwhelming, causing my chest to tighten and tears to prickle at the corners of my eyes.

Dieter seemed to sense the shift in my thoughts, reaching to run his fingertips down the side of my face as he nudged his nose against mine. It helped calm me some but did nothing to dampen the sudden and intense rush of emotions I was feeling for him.

The languid pace in which he was moving drew out how long this all lasted, but it felt right. We were completely lost in each other, causing the world around us to blur and cease to exist. It was the slowest build to a release that I had ever experienced. When I finally fell over the edge, it was intense and euphoric, seeming to go on forever. I felt like I was floating and the only thing keeping me tethered to this plane was Dieter. He followed behind me soon after, unable to hold it back as my walls contracted around him. He pressed his forehead against mine, his eyes clenching shut as he spilled into me with a deep groan that turned to quiet whimpers with the last few thrusts of his hips.

He sighed heavily against my lips, clearly savoring the high he was riding after his release. I peppered small kisses around his face as I brushed back his sweaty curls. His dark eyes finally opened, meeting mine before capturing my mouth with his. He broke away to catch his breath, both of us still gulping for air as we took each other in.

He eventually shifted to lay facing me as I turned toward him. His hand slid around my waist to pull me closer. We were nose to nose when he finally spoke, “I think I should maybe tell you why I had such a strong reaction to the Alec thing…it’s sort of the root of everything…why I am the way I am…”

I took a deep breath, “Ok…but I don’t want you to feel like you have to. Only tell me if you want to…and if you’re ready.”

He nodded, “I want to…I think it’ll help you understand me a little better…and…my therapist thinks I should tell you too.”

I gave him a small smile as I reached to scratch at the scruff on his cheek, continuing to lazily rub in circles as he began to speak.

“I…didn’t have the best childhood growing up. My dad…he was an asshole. I can’t remember a time when he didn’t abuse my mom, but it got progressively worse over the years. I couldn’t tell you how many times I sat with her or tried to take care of her after he bloodied her up. I remember always feeling helpless when I was younger…I wanted to protect her, but I couldn’t.”

He paused, sighing heavily as he reached for my hand that was still rubbing at his scruff and entwined our fingers to rest on the bed between us.

“Of course, that was when she still cared about life…about me. At some point she started drinking…which ultimately made things worse with him. It got to the point where she stayed wasted all the time and didn’t really seem to care about anything. By the time I was a teenager, I was pretty much taking care of myself. My dad left me alone for the most part, until I started interfering with their fights…trying to protect her.”

He swallowed thickly as his eyes turned glassy, “I thought…maybe if I could protect her…that I could get her back…matter to her again. You know what I mean? I just felt so alone…abandoned even…just existing. It only made things worse though. My dad no longer held back from directing his anger at me and it just seemed to push my mom further away.”

He scoffed as he squeezed my hand a little tighter, “Hell, there were times I think she was happy he was taking it out on someone besides her.”

I could see the pain that realization caused him as a deep crease formed between his brows. He stared, unblinking, at our intertwined hands as he continued.

“When I was in high school, I joined the drama club. For once, I had several close friends. That’s when I realized my sexual preferences…varied…and I started exploring my preferences within that group. Anyway, there was this one guy I spent a lot of time with. It wasn’t serious, but we had a thing. I guess someone saw us together at the mall and we were obvious about it. Word got back to my dad, and he absolutely lost his shit over it. No son of his was gonna be like that. He called me every slur you can think of while he tried to ‘beat the gayness out of me’. That was one of the times I snapped on him. I got in a few good hits, but he still beat the hell out of me.”

The tears finally spilled down his cheeks. He sniffled a little before he continued.

“It was pretty bad…and the sad part was…my mom couldn’t bother to care. She didn’t check on me once. After spending a day in bed and feeling like I was dying, I managed to drag myself over to Evan’s house. I lied and told everyone I got mugged. His mom ended up taking me to the ER…I had a concussion and a couple of broken ribs. Of course, all my parents cared about was the astronomical hospital bill.”

It was my turn for tears now. My heart was breaking for him. I squeezed his hand tighter as I gave him a sympathetic look.

He sighed and finally met my gaze, “It got pretty unbearable after that. I couldn’t stand being at home. My dad was constantly belittling me and saying things that made me feel like I was a dirty abomination. My mom even said she was disappointed in my behavior at one point...I think that’s when I really started to hate myself. I didn’t feel like I was worthy of being loved or happy…I started having some pretty dark thoughts.”

He paused briefly, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he considered what to say next.

“Eventually…Evan’s mom took me in after she figured out what was going on. She helped me through the emancipation process so they couldn’t have control over me anymore…but the damage was done. I had already started self-medicating with alcohol…and after I got my big break in Hollywood with money to burn, the slow spiral started. Honestly, I’m not even sure how I’m still alive after some of the shit I’ve done.”

“What made you finally wanna change things?” I asked.

He shrugged, “After my third overdose, my agent gave me an ultimatum…either get sober or I was done. None of the studios wanted to work with me anymore because I was a liability…and by that point Evan had quit working for me. He was tired of my shit. I was also damn near bankrupt. Everything just sort of converged and blew up on me at once. So, I took that last stint in rehab seriously. I had sort of an epiphany about getting my life together and wanted to learn how to be happy…exercise the demons out of my life. Somehow, I found a way to do it, but it’s still a struggle some days. Sometimes I get triggered and wanna go back to that dark place…but I’m slowly learning how to cope with it. I’ve found new ways to channel that energy into something positive.”

I suddenly felt a wave of anxiety hit me, realizing that the drama with Alec had been a trigger for him. I felt like shit over it.

“I’m sorry that I involved you with the Alec stuff. I didn’t realize the sort of effect it was having on you.”

He shook his head, “No, it’s ok. I was worried about you more than anything. I didn’t want you to get hurt…or lose yourself to him. I wanted to keep you safe…and the fact that you gave me a chance…trusted me with that…it meant more to me than you realize.”

I sighed, “But when you found us in the dressing room, I could see it. It did something to you beyond being upset about what he did.”

His brows furrowed, “It was just…the fact that I wanted to inflict pain on him…it scared me a little. I was worried that I was more like my dad than I realized…that a part of me was violent enough to do the things he did…because I really wanted to. Then I was also afraid that I had scared you…that you would think I was no better than Alec. I didn’t want you to think that I could treat you the same way.”

My lips set into a tight line. I was determined to make him see himself as I do.

“You’re nothing like either of those men. I know this. You’re just fiercely protective of those you care about…If anything, you’re a nurturer. You’re selfless and enjoy caring for others. You’re an amazing person and worthy of everything good that life brings to you. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t believe that.”

From the way his face scrunched up, I could tell he was fighting back his emotions. I pulled him against me, allowing him to bury his face against my neck as I hugged him. His arms tightened around me as his shoulders began to shake with his quiet sobs. His sniffles became a little more frequent as he allowed himself to feel whatever it was he was feeling.

He was right, knowing about his past did help me understand him better. His past self-destructive behavior and difficulty with relationships made so much more sense. The fact that he had shared this with me so willingly showed me that he was trying to break the cycle and connect with me in ways that he never had with anyone else. He was still putting in the work to better himself and be happy.

I continued to sooth him for a time, until he finally pulled away as he wiped his face with a tentative smile, causing his eyes to crinkle around the edges. Realizing that he was obviously feeling better, I gave him an encouraging smile in return.

“You somehow always seem to know what I need before I do. Thank you for not being afraid to show me,” he finally said.

I chuckled, “I don’t really know. I just know what I would want under the circumstances.”

He hummed as he nuzzled his nose against mine, “So…naked cuddling and slow, mind-blowing sex? Noted.”

I laughed. It was nice to see his sense of humor returning.

“Sooo…were you and Evan a thing at one point?” I asked. I couldn’t help being curious about it.

Dieter snorted, “Hell no. We were in the drama club together, but he doesn't swing that way. Never has. He likes boobs too much. He was there for the chics.”

I snickered, “Good to know. I didn’t get those vibes between you two, but I had to ask. I didn’t realize he’d been around for that long.”

He smiled, “Oh yeah, we go way back. I’m not sure I could trust anyone else to handle my stuff the way he does. He actually looks out for me and has my best interest in mind…calls me on my shit when he needs to. I’ve had other assistants that just wanted to enable my bad behavior so they could party and take advantage of me in some way. I can’t be having that anymore.”

I couldn’t help wondering about his parents after that. He seemed to notice something was on my mind and asked what I was thinking about.

“Have you had any contact with your parents since you left?” I asked.

His lips set into a tight line, “Umm well…my mom pretty much drank herself to death. She died years ago…but my dad…I think he’s still around somewhere. It’s been a while, but I’ll occasionally get a call asking for money. I don’t give him shit. That goes over about like you would expect. He hasn’t changed much. He’s still an asshole.”

I sighed, “I’m sorry.”

He shrugged, “It is what it is. I can’t change him. I can only change myself and how I respond to him.”

We soon noticed the time, realizing that we were going to be late for our evening rehearsal. After rushing around, we eventually made it to the studio. I think Dieter was happy for the distraction, quickly settling into our routine and focusing on the performance. He was back to his goofy and smiley self, having fun as we tried out a couple of different options for the choreography. At times we behaved a little less professionally as our bodies moved together with lingering touches and lips brushing against any skin they could get near without being completely obvious to anyone who might be passing by.

After rehearsals, I found myself back at Dieter’s house. It was late, so we settled on something quick for dinner. Dieter made sandwiches that were fancier than anything I had ever put together between two pieces of bread. He was incapable of doing things halfway it seemed.

We got ready for bed after that, going through our newly established routine. We didn’t even bother changing into sleep clothes, now opting to sleep in nothing instead. I crawled into bed, snuggling in while Dieter shut off the lights and made sure the door was cracked for Zee. He slid under the blankets, reaching to pull me against him and tangle our limbs together. After burying his face in my hair, he sighed in contentment and squeezed me just a little tighter. He was asleep within minutes, and I wasn’t too far behind him.

When I awoke the next morning, Dieter was still snoring lightly against the back of my shoulder. I could just make out Zee’s paw stretched out across the side of his head and disappearing into his mess of curls as she snoozed behind him. I moved to get up, but Dieter groaned and stiffened his arm that was thrown over my middle.

I chuckled and whined, “Diiieter, I’ve gotta peeee.”

He huffed as he mumbled out a gravelly, “Fine.” Then he turned, snuggling Zee instead. “Guess I’ll just cuddle my other cat then.”

I laughed at his ridiculousness, shaking my head as I made my way to the bathroom. Once I was finished, I took the opportunity to swipe another one of Dieter’s t-shirts that said ‘Stay Horny for Art’ in large letters across the front. It had me shaking my head all over again as I slipped it on and walked out into the bedroom. I made my way over to his side of the bed, leaning down to ruffle his hair before giving him a quick kiss.

“I’m gonna go get breakfast started.”

He grabbed my hand, kissing the top of it before groaning and hiding his face from the sunlight that was beginning to sneak through the curtains. I smiled to myself as I pulled away and made my way downstairs. He was too adorable when he was half asleep and needy.

I was obviously nowhere as good of a cook as Dieter, so I decided to keep it simple. As I was digging through the pantry for pancake ingredients I heard movement in the kitchen. Assuming it was Dieter, I called out to ask, “Do you know where the…”

My words trailed off as I walked out of the pantry to find a petite woman, most likely in her early fifties, with short dark red hair, and a scowl on her face. I stopped in my tracks, taken off guard by her sudden appearance.

She stood with her hands on her hips as she looked me up and down, “I thought he was done bringing hussies home?”

I nearly choked on my own spit as I sucked in a breath. I shook my head, “No… I’m not…”

She sighed, “Did he relapse again? I’m gonna kick his ass if he did…then quit.”

That took me by surprise. I liked her already. Spitfire indeed.

I held my hands out in surrender, “No…he’s fine. He’s still in bed, asleep. You must be Cora, I presume?”

She seemed taken aback that I knew who she was, her face shifting from frustration to confusion before she nodded.

I gave her what I hoped was a polite smile, “I’m Kat. Dieter’s dance partner…”

I could tell when the realization hit because her eyes widened and her mouth fell open slightly before she finally spoke, “I’m not sure what to do with this...”

I chuckled, “It’s ok…I think this is a learning experience for all of us.”

Dieter chose that moment to come shuffling into the kitchen wearing nothing but a pair of grey gym shorts and black crocs with Zee at his heels on a mission for breakfast. He came to stand next to me so he could wrap his arm around my waist and give me a quick kiss on the cheek, smiling lazily as he turned toward Cora, “I see you’ve finally met my lady. I hope you weren’t too hard on her…”

Cora’s eyebrows lifted up to her hairline as she studied Dieter. If I had to guess, I could only assume he had never acted this way toward anyone in front of her before. She gave a hesitant smile, “Dieter…you wanna tell me what’s going on?”

He pulled me snugly against his chest, “Well…we’re not exactly making it public yet…but Kat and I are together.”

“Together?” she asked. As if she needed confirmation.

He nodded as he fought a laugh, “Yeah…together. Like…a couple. Dating. Courting. Whatever your generation calls it.”

She gave him an admonishing look, “My generation? I’m not that much older than you, you little shit. You’ll be fifty in no time.”

I clapped a hand over my mouth to hold in the laughter that was threatening to escape. Dieter, on the other hand, cackled over her words. I could already see why he hired her. She was his kind of people.

Cora rolled her eyes at him before changing the subject back to us. “Well, this makes sense. I knew something was going on with you…you’ve been different lately. I just thought you were slipping back into your old habits and tryin’ ta hide it. I’m happy to see that’s not the case.”

She paused, giving me a mischievous smile before looking back at Dieter. “Looks like you’ve made a good decision for once. I’m not getting floozy, gold digging vibes from this one.”

Dieter chuckled as he turned to look at me with a dimpling smile, “No. She’s definitely not a floozy or a gold digger…she’s perfect.”

He had that sappy look in his eyes as they danced around my face. His smile widened as my cheeks flushed from his gaze and the words he said so freely. I could feel my heart fluttering in my chest as the thoughts of what that feeling meant, bounced around in my head. I refused to acknowledge it by name, but I knew what it was. The fact that I was falling so hard, so fast, had my mind reeling. I had to quickly pivot my train of thought before a spiral started. My attention shifted back to Cora, who was watching us intently, with a toothy smile.

Dieter invited her to sit for breakfast as he shuffled things around on the top shelf of the pantry to find the pancake ingredients. After refusing to let me help, I joined Cora on a stool at the island to watch Dieter cook. We slipped into an easy conversation, getting to know each other a little better while also teasing Dieter in any way we could. She was quickly becoming one of my new favorite people. It made me happy to know this was who Dieter was choosing to surround himself with now, even if she was hired help.

Since we didn’t have to be in rehearsal until later in the day, we spent some time lazing about in the pool. Not a minute passed that we weren’t touching each other in some way - be it laying back against his chest as he whispered sweetly in my ear while we lounged in the shallows or wrapped in his arms as he held me tightly and spoke in a low voice against my lips between kisses in the deep water. It never felt sexual. We were content just being wrapped up in each other as we bonded through touch and conversation. It made me realize how serious he was in not making our relationship about sex.

He opened himself up to me in a way I didn’t think anyone ever had, holding nothing back and giving me every part of himself. There was a lightness to him now, like everything that once weighed him down had been discarded and left in the past. It made me hopeful for him, and for us. His smile and happiness were infectious and warm. He was the sun and my light, teaching me how to find my confidence and love myself again. However, in the back of my mind I still had a worry that I was allowing him to affect me too much, too soon. I knew he had the power to break me in a way that Alec couldn’t, but he had given me more than enough reasons to trust that he wouldn’t.

After spending a good amount of time in the pool, we decided to relax and read on a chaise lounger. Dieter sat down, then allowed me to sit between his thighs and recline against his chest as I read aloud from the pages of Dan Brown’s The Lost Symbol. This eventually shifted into a debate about US government conspiracy theories which had us in fits of giggles as we argued our points for and against each one. We were into a deep conversation about the Roswell crash when my phone rang on the table next to us with an incoming FaceTime call. Dieter reached for it and handed it to me.

Seeing my sister’s name flash on the screen elicited a sigh from me. “I probably better answer this. She’s been giving me hell because I haven’t called her in a few weeks.”

Dieter shifted to get up and give me some privacy, but I stopped him, “No. Stay. I might as well tell her what I’ve been up to in my free time…”

He gave me a nervous look as he settled back into the seat. I took a deep breath then hit the ‘answer’ button, careful to keep the camera focused on my face for now as I smiled into it.

“Lydia, hey…how are you?”

She looked annoyed, “About damn time you answered. Why haven’t you called me?”

I smiled nervously, “Oh you know…I’ve been busy with rehearsals…”

She scoffed, “You’re never this busy with rehearsals…”

I scoffed back, “Well, I typically don’t make it this far into the competition to keep me this busy with rehearsals…”

She paused for a beat, considering my response. “Fair point. I guess I’ll let it slide…How come you’re not rehearsing now?”

I pushed a stray piece of hair away that was blowing in my face, “Our schedule got moved around a bit. We have an evening rehearsal today.”

She nodded, “Well…what’s been going on? I haven’t talked to you in weeks. Has Alec been an issue?”

I grimaced and shrugged, “You know…it’s Alec. I’m just avoiding him as much as I can and trying to move on…”

Something in my demeanor must have tipped her off, causing her eyes to narrow slightly. “And how is the moving on going? I feel like you’ve been very…nonchalant about this whole thing…”

I pursed my lips, “I mean…I was kind of over his shit before the thing with Lana happened. So, it’s like a weight has been lifted, honestly.”

Her eyes narrowed further, “Where are you right now?”

I could tell Dieter was holding in laughter, causing me to fight a smile as I replied. “I’m hanging out by the pool at a friend’s house.”

Dieter was shaking now, burying his face in the back of my hair to muffle his giggles. My teeth sunk into my bottom lip in an attempt to hide my smile as I angled the phone just right to cut him out of frame.

Lydia’s eyebrow arched. She was not amused with my evasive answers. “How are things going with your dance partner? You’ve hardly said anything about him…”

I couldn’t help smirking at that question, “It’s going good…he’s a good dancer…and we get along.”

Her face told me she was on to my bullshit while her voice feigned ignorance. “Hm, well that’s good. I guess that’s why you have such good chemistry on the dance floor then…”

I chuckled, “Well, he is an Oscar winning actor. He knows how to play a role well…”

I could tell Dieter was about to lose what little composure he had over that line. I wasn’t too far behind him.

Lydia sighed, “Kat…just tell me what the hell is going on. I’m not an idiot…something is up with you. Did something happen with him?”

I scrunched up my nose, “You really wanna know?”

Dieter snorted out a laugh before clapping his hand over his mouth. I grimaced while trying to hold in my own laughter. Lydia’s brows furrowed in confusion.

I glanced up at Dieter with a questioning look. After getting a nod of approval from him, I stretched my arms out in front of us so that we both fit into the frame. Dieter smiled sheepishly and waved. Lydia gasped out a shocked, “Oh shit!” before accidentally dropping her phone.

Dieter and I burst into laughter as the blurred images on the screen bounced around before finally focusing back on her shocked face. She sat there staring with her mouth hanging open as she processed what she was seeing.

Dieter chuckled before finally speaking, “Hi, Lydia! I’m sorry I’ve been keeping your sister from you. I swear it’s not on purpose.”

Her mouth finally snapped shut, “Wow, OK. So, this is like…happening then?”

I nodded with a smile, “Yeah, it kind of is…”

She looked overwhelmed now as she sputtered out, “How?...When?…Does Alec know?…” She paused, then gasped out, “Did you cheat on Alec? Please say yes.”

Dieter buried his face in my neck as he laughed at her. I shook my head and chuckled, “No. No cheating. It was after I ended things with Alec…in New York. Dieter’s been really supportive with everything and was looking out for me. We had gotten close and…it just sort of…happened.”

I reached up behind me to cup his cheek. He wasted no time lacing his fingers through mine as he turned his head to kiss the palm of my hand and pulled it away to nuzzle his cheek against the side of my head.

Lydia looked absolutely dumbfounded as she mumbled out, “Holy shit. So, you’re like together, together? This isn’t a fling type thing?”

I scoffed, “No, you know I’m not into that.”

She laughed, “I KNEW something was going on with him! I could tell from the way you look at him when you’re dancing on the show.”

Dieter and I snickered before I continued, “Well, we’re not going public yet. The producers are trying hard to make this a thing and I refuse to let them. Alec suspects, but I don’t wanna give him any more ammunition to come at us. I just wanna make it through this season with as little drama as possible and be done with it all.”

She nodded before her expression shifted to one of worry. “So, how has it been going…with you two?”

The question seemed innocent enough, but her tone told another story. Dieter sighed quietly, then leaned in next to my ear, “I’m gonna go get us something to drink and give you two some time to chat.”

I felt my stomach drop and hoped that hadn’t upset him as I shifted so that he could get up. He gave me a quick kiss on the top of the head before he disappeared inside.

My eyes shifted back to the phone, “Did you really have to ask that right now?”

She huffed out a nervous laugh, “What do you mean?”

It was my turn to narrow my eyes, “You know what I mean…you and your disapproving tone.”

She sighed, “It’s not disapproval…it’s concern. You just got out of a very long term engagement with an asshole and immediately got with Dieter Bravo of all people? He has a reputation ya know. I just worry is all.”

I couldn’t argue with her logic. Those same thoughts had already crossed my mind on more than one occasion.

My brows furrowed, “I completely understand where you’re coming from…I’ve thought about that too. It is fast, but we were building a solid friendship beforehand. It’s not like I just met him last week. And Dieter…he’s not what you would expect…certainly not what I expected. He’s actually very caring and sweet. He’s been working really hard on himself…and he really is a good person. We’ve connected in a way that I’ve never connected with anyone before…”

She puffed air through her cheeks as she rubbed at her temple, “Oh Kat…you’ve got it bad, don’t you?”

I sighed, “Yeah, I think I do…I mean, the man is learning to make Greek food for me…and he’s always worried about how I’m feeling after rehearsals. He makes a point to take care of me…cooking, hot baths, massages…Alec always acted like my body aches were such a damn burden. And Dieter…he’s so open about everything…his past, his feelings. He’s the complete opposite of Alec in every way. How could I not have it bad with that?”

Lydia let out a low whistle, “Damn, sis…he almost sounds too good to be true. What about his reputation though? The whoring around and partying? Doesn’t that worry you?”

I pinched the bridge of my nose. It was frustrating, but I understood where she was coming from.

“He’s been sober for ten months and hasn’t been with anyone else for even longer than that. He’s been taking it seriously…We’ve talked through why he used to do those things and he’s working through it…I-I trust him. He’s not that person any more. He’s already proved that to me in a million different ways.”

She grimaced slightly, “Are you sure this isn’t another one of your ‘I can fix him’ phases?”

I scoffed, “I should be offended by that…but I kind of deserved it. I-It’s not that. Dieter doesn’t need me to fix him. He was already fixing himself before he met me. He did that part on his own.”

That seemed to alleviate some of her worries, causing her features to relax. “Well, that’s good to hear at least.”

I huffed out a laugh, “Hell, if anything he’s fixing me...”

Lydia snickered, “So he’s good in bed then…”

I couldn’t help rolling my eyes as I fought a smile, “That’s not what I was referring to, but yes…he is. He’s very attentive, skilled…adventurous…and he knows how to read me. No direction needed. It’s…more than just sex with him too…it’s always very intimate…during and after.”

I paused, briefly laughing to myself as I thought about mine and Dieter’s previous conversation we had in this very spot. “When we got back from New York, he invited me over to stay with him…he didn’t wanna have sex that night. He said he didn’t want it to be all about that with us. We didn’t do it again for like a week. He’s all about exploring all forms of intimacy.”

Lydia’s eyes nearly bulged out her head with that news. “Fuuuck, ok. He just won me over because that’s a major turn on.”

I laughed, “Right? You understand now? And I haven’t even told you about his cat and plants.”

Lydia looked intrigued, however, Dieter chose that moment to emerge from the house carrying two glasses of lemonade.

I murmured out a quick “I’ll fill you in on that later,” as I turned to smile up at him. I scooted forward so he could take his seat behind me after he set the glasses on the small table beside us. He wasted no time wrapping his arms around my waist and hugging me tightly against his chest.

“Alright ladies, what did I miss?” he asked in a playful tone.

Lydia bit back a laugh, “Kat was just telling me that you’re awesome in the sack.”

I could feel my cheeks flush, “Fucking hell, Lyd. Shut up.”

Dieter vibrated from laughter behind me, shaking his head as he spoke. “Well, I guess there are worse things she could be saying.”

We fell into easy conversation after that, somehow dragging Lydia into our prior discussion about conspiracy theories. They were both laughing and already throwing jokes at one another. I could tell she liked him which gave me some comfort. After we hung up, a text message immediately pinged from Lydia.

Lydia: OK. I get it now. Hot. Fucking hilarious. Worships you. I approve. 👏👏👏

I smiled and showed it to Dieter, who howled with laughter. He was feeling pretty smug, having won the affections of my sister.

Soon after that, relaxation time was up. We had to get to the studio for a rather exhausting rehearsal. Given that the Paso Doble is a fast paced, Latin style dance, it didn’t take long before we were running on fumes, but the choreography was really beginning to come together by this point in the week. Dieter was having fun with the fact that most of the attention for this dance was on him and allowed him to show a little bit of sass and attitude. He was definitely playing up those attributes, and I was enjoying every second of it. Especially after he declared the room felt like an inferno and peeled his sweaty shirt off over his head.

(Click images to enlarge so you don't miss anything. More after the jump.)

The constant rehearsals were definitely having an effect on his body, toning all the right muscles and slimming him down slightly. He looked amazing and I could tell he was feeling it too. He seemed more confident in himself, which only led to more torture for me. It was obvious he was intentionally flaunting the goods to get me worked up - not that I was complaining. I didn’t mind seeing more skin or watching the muscles in his chest, arms, and back flex as he moved around the dance floor. It was quickly becoming one of my favorite sights. Especially when he added that sexy smirk of his to the mix.

After rehearsal, Dieter went to pick up takeout for us while I ran home to check on things and resupply on clothes and the essentials before I made my way over to his house. He was just setting Zee’s dinner down on her mat when I walked in. They seemed to be having some sort of standoff over the evening’s meal selection as he placed his hands on his hips and huffed down at her. She sat defiantly staring up at him as her tail flicked back and forth. I rolled my lips together to hold in my laugh as I watched Zee meow loudly, which elicited a heavy sigh from Dieter.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake. There’s nothing wrong with it, woman. You don’t have to have freshly cooked protein with every meal.”

She meowed again, then glanced at her plate before shifting her eyes back to his. He rolled his eyes and puffed air out of his cheeks before stalking over to the pantry, then emerged with a pouch of tuna. Clearly losing the battle with his furry little menace. Zee seemed more enthusiastic about her dinner as she watched him spoon a small amount out on top of her food. Finally, a compromise.

Dieter turned his attention to me with an exasperated look on his face. “I think I have unintentionally created a monster,” he said through a chuckle.

I walked over toward the island to unpack our dinner as I snickered, “It seems so…but I gotta say, watching you two battle it out has become one of my favorite pastimes. She’s got you wrapped around her little paw.”

He came to stand behind me, grazing his nose up the side of my neck as he wrapped his arms around me. “What can I say? I live to serve my two ladies. I’m your bitch and I have no shame to say it.”

I snorted out a laugh as I sank back against him, turning to give him a quick kiss. He pulled away with a smile, “Speaking of…I got you some spanakopita…and after you eat, we’re taking a hot bath. If my body hurts this bad, I know yours has to.”

I smiled up at him, “Sounds like a plan. I am feeling quite achy this evening.”

His lips set into a tight line, “I’ll make you some herbal tea. It’ll help. Now…go sit. Get off your feet. I’ll handle all this.”

The no nonsense look on his face told me there was no arguing. So, I did as he said. He had a plate full of food and a glass of water in front of me within minutes, making sure I was taken care of before he sat down beside me. When we finished, he put everything away while I spent a few minutes cuddling Zee and drinking my fresh cup of herbal tea. He soon disappeared upstairs to run the bath, and I followed several minutes later.

I found Dieter undressed down to his boxer briefs and leaning over the side of the tub, checking the water temperature and adding some Epsom salt. The sight of him caused my pulse to quicken. When he turned and gave me his sexy little smirk, I thought my heart would explode out of my chest. Without a word, he stood to grab a brush and began to meticulously brush the knots out of my hair caused by today’s rehearsal. Then he twisted it up and secured it with a flat clip. He proceeded to undress me, taking his time to allow his hands and lips to gently explore my body before helping me into the tub.

Dieter settled in on the opposite end, immediately taking one of my feet into his large hands and began massaging. I relaxed into the water, enjoying the feel of the jets spraying along my body and Dieter’s touch. We sat staring at each other in silence, the air around us electric as we simply existed together. His lips tugged upward as his fingers dipped down to rub at that spot on my foot, causing my thighs to clench. My teeth sunk into my bottom lip as I narrowed my eyes in his direction.

The smirk was back now, “What’s the matter Kitten? You need something from me?”

I further relaxed into the water, “I think you’re the one being naughty right now, Bravo.”

His brows arched, “Let me show you how naughty I can be. Just lay back and relax. Don’t fight the sensations. Imma show you how nerve endings work.”

I did as he asked, trying to loosen up and just feel as our eyes remained locked in an intense stare. His thumbs got to work, gradually increasing pressure in the spots he knew would get me worked up. I could feel the tingle begin in my foot, eventually shooting up directly to my core. My first instinct was to pull away just because it was an odd sensation. It caused his grip to tighten as he tsked at me, “Relax, Kitten. Don’t fight it. Feel it.”

He continued the same pressure with his thumb, allowing me a moment to become accustomed to the sensation. I was soon panting under his touch, my thighs tensing as my center sought out more friction. It was as if I was suspended right on the edge, close enough to feel something but never completely falling over. His hooded gaze told me that he was enjoying watching me writhe under his touch at the other end of the tub. I lost track of how long that went on. I was damn near in tears when he gave me that mischievous smirk and finally spoke, “Touch yourself for me…”

My jaw fell slack as one hand moved down to my massage breast and the other to my center. My fingers got to work rubbing at the sensitive and swollen nub, adding to the sensations I was already feeling from where Dieter continued to rub my foot, now adding even more pressure with his thumbs. Within seconds, I fell over the edge. My body tensing and arching out of the water as a loud moan escaped my lips. I saw stars as the blood rushed behind my ears. It was one of the most intense orgasms I had ever had from basic stimulation. Dieter continued rubbing my foot through it, prolonging the sensations until I finally relaxed into the water.

When my senses finally returned, my eyes fluttered open to find Dieter’s smug smile. He seemed rather proud of himself. I gave him a lazy smile in return, suggestively running my foot down his chest until it disappeared under the water - going lower to brush against his hardness that was hiding under the surface. His eyes narrowed, “Now who's being naughty?”

I gave him an innocent smile, “Oh no…I’m just returning the favor.”

I sat up, shifting to join him at the other end of the tub. With my breast pressed against him, I leaned in for a slow and sensual kiss. My left arm moved around his neck allowing my fingers to tangle in his hair as my lips trailed down his jaw to first suck on his ear lobe before moving to the sensitive spot behind it. I resituated myself, my left side leaning against him as my right hand traced a path downward. His lips captured mine until my fingers wrapped around the base of his cock and stroked upward. His jaw fell slack, breaking our kiss as his head dropped backward onto the ledge of the tub. With the arm that was wrapped around me, he reached up to gently rub soothing circles at the base of my neck as I continued to pump his length - occasionally swiping my thumb over the head and squeezing just a little tighter.

I took this opportunity to take in his expressions as his breath quickened. His head lolled back and forth as his brows pinched together. His teeth bit into his bottom lip as he turned and whimpered quietly against my shoulder. I leaned down, grazing my nose against his ear, speaking in a silky soft voice.

“You’ve been so good today…taking care of me in every way. I think it’s only fair that I take care of you too. Don’t you?”

He whimpered, his mouth falling open, allowing his hot pants to blow against the curve of my neck as my hand pumped a little faster. My fingers twisted in his hair, pulling it slightly causing his head to fall back away from me so that I could see his face again. His brows pinched together tighter as his arm tensed around me, his fingers now gripping my shoulder firmly. He was panting out soft whimpers with every exhale, eventually turning into a deep groan as I swiped my thumb over the head for the last time - causing him to cum. He trembled under me, eventually going limp against the tub, sucking in deep breaths through his pouty lips as his brows arched.

A curl fell down over his forehead as his head leaned toward me. He looked relaxed now and completely blissed out as he sat there with his eyes closed. A lazy grin slid across his lips as his dark eyes finally blinked open to meet my gaze. Without warning he pulled me down, causing me to squeal as he crashed his lips against mine. His hands ghosted up and down my back side while we continued to make out like a couple of teenagers, pulling apart only to stare into each other's eyes.

He reached up to brush a stray hair away from my face as he took me in, “You know…I wouldn��t be upset if every night for the rest of my life ended like this…with us together…you make me happier than I ever thought possible.”

His words took me off guard, causing a mix of emotions - excitement because it meant he was thinking long term about our future, but also panic. It was another reminder of how hard and how fast I was falling for him because I now realized I wanted that, more than anything. I was also setting myself up to get hurt badly if this went wrong. I was already in so much deeper with him than I ever was with Alec. I need to get over this. Dieter isn’t Alec. He won’t do what Alec did.

My eyes searched his, I could tell he meant what he was saying. I felt like he wanted to say more but was holding back. I suddenly felt emotional, the only response I could muster was a small smile before pulling him in for a gentle kiss. I turned, settling back against his chest as his hands rubbed my shoulders.

He kissed the top of my head, seeming to sense my anxiety, then leaned his cheek against it as he spoke, “I’m sorry, I probably shouldn’t have said that…I wanna take things at a pace you're OK with. I don’t want you to feel rushed. I mean it when I say you’re important to me and…I don’t wanna fuck this up.”

I grabbed his hand and nuzzled it against the side of my face, “Don’t apologize. I want you to be open with me about your feelings. I do appreciate the grace…just be patient with me. I’m there with you, but I’m feeling a lot of things…I’m still working through a lot of things, most of which have nothing to do with you…just know that.”

He hugged me against him, brushing the hair back off my face as he told me to relax for a little while. We sat in silence for a time, until Zee came strutting into the bathroom meowing because we weren’t in bed yet. We took that as our cue to start our bedtime routine so as not to upset the queen of the Bravo residence.

Dieter climbed into bed first that night, raising the blanket for me to crawl in beside him. I was suddenly feeling vulnerable as I snuggled in against his chest. He pulled me snugly against himself as I tangled my leg with his. His scent and warmth surrounded me, calming me and bringing me back to my senses. “Dieter?”

He murmured out a sleepy ‘hm?’ against the top of my hair.

“I wouldn’t mind having this every night, too.”

I felt him smile as he nuzzled his face further into my hair and hugged me just a little tighter.

Dieter’s POV This week had been such an emotional roller coaster for me already. Kat and I finally caved after a week of no sex, first in the dressing room at the studio, then again after we got back to my place that same evening. It wasn’t just sex though. Like in New York, it was different - intense. She had me feeling things that I had never felt before, causing my emotions to jump all over the place. It felt like it was never enough and too much all at the same time. I wondered if this was what it felt like to make love to someone. I had always heard people say that, but never really understood it. To me, there was only sex or fucking. Those two things didn’t feel like appropriate descriptors for what Kat and I did though.

There was no question about my feelings for her. I knew I was in love, but did the intensity between us mean she felt the same about me? I couldn’t help hoping that was the case. Why else would it feel like this with her if she wasn’t reciprocating those feelings? It was something I wanted to bring up with her, but I didn’t know how. I didn’t want to freak her out and ruin what we were building. Deep down I knew she was more fragile than she let on. I knew this thing with Alec had affected her no matter how hard she tried to hide it. I wanted to make sure I gave her all the time she needed to heal.

The shit storm brewing around us certainly didn’t help any. I knew there would eventually be some repercussions from the Alec confrontation. The rumors had already begun to swirl and TMZ had gotten a whiff of it. They were sniffing around for any details they could get so they could post about it.

Then that suggestive text message came through when Kat had my phone. I damn near had a panic attack, worried she would think I was talking to other people behind her back. I knew I should have gotten my number changed as soon as all those random messages started to come in after SNL. It would have saved us both some grief. Thankfully, it appeared as if she believed my explanation. At least I hoped she did, because it was the truth. However, I knew it had to be worrisome to her after the whole Alec thing. I felt like a complete asshole over the incident. I never wanted to do anything to make her worry about those sort of things because I would never do that to her.

I went from that major fuck up right into my therapy session with Dr. Smith where she made me talk about my parents and how that related to my freak out on Alec. It was something that I did need to talk through. I couldn’t put it off forever because it had been bothering me. Dr. Smith helped me realize that the visceral reaction was more about protecting someone I care deeply for than anything - that I’m not that violent person. My biggest fear is that I would turn into my father or that I was already like him in some way. Deep down I knew I wasn’t, but that worry would always be there because I was so affected by it during my early life.

When I got back home after that session, I went straight to my sanctuary. I needed to get it out of my system in some way, finally settling for music. When I began to play, I didn’t have any intention to go live on Instagram, but I figured why not? That was what Lenny wanted me to do. I ended up finding it to be strangely cathartic, but I was still feeling down when Kat showed up. Given that Dr. Smith had encouraged me to tell Kat about my past, I felt like it was the last step I needed to take to absolve myself of all the things I was feeling.

I didn’t even know where to start, but Kat knew exactly what I needed - pulling me into that moment of intimacy and just letting me be while I worked through my emotions. I needed all of her and she willingly let me have as much as I could handle. It felt like something shifted between us yet again, but I didn’t know what. All I knew is that I felt closer to her afterward and completely safe to open up to tell her about my past.

Our relationship really was progressing quicker than I thought it would. After Kat met Cora, she had essentially met all the important people in my circle. She was becoming engrained in every part of my life, and I couldn’t have been happier about it. Cora loved Kat and approved once she got to spend a little time with her. Kat had even told her sister about me, which I felt like was a big fucking deal. She seemed almost proud to show me off to Lydia, not hesitating to let me join their call after she spilled the beans. It all felt very natural, and I honestly couldn’t believe it was happening. This thing between us was obviously turning into something serious. It was scary, but I welcomed it with open arms. I was ready to have someone, to have my own functional family.

After allowing my mind to run a marathon of thoughts as I laid in bed staring at the ceiling, my attention turned to Kat. She was sleeping soundly beside me. I hated to disturb her, but I really needed to take a piss and get breakfast started. Since it was a late rehearsal day, I wanted to take advantage of our free time and surprise her with an authentic Greek meal.

Kat groaned as I pulled away from her to get up, causing me to huff out a quiet laugh as I ran my fingertips down the side of her cheek. “Sorry to wake you sweetheart, go back to sleep for a bit. I’m gonna go make you some breakfast.”

She hummed out in agreement, snuggling deeper into the blankets as I tucked them around her. Zee stood from her spot at the end of the bed, moving toward Kat’s head. I narrowed my eyes at her, pointing an accusing finger as I whispered out, “You behave. Don’t be an annoying little shit.”

Kat snickered into the pillow as she lifted the blanket, allowing Zee to cuddle in against her before cocooning them both in the duvet. Seeing my two girls snuggled up in my bed together was really doing something to me, causing my heart to flutter in my chest and making me feel happy in a way I never had been. I really couldn’t ask for anything better than that.

I threw on a pair of gym shorts and grabbed my fluffy green robe, then headed downstairs to start cooking. I had asked Cora to pick up some ingredients for a traditional Greek breakfast that I wanted to try my hand at making. It seemed simple enough, so I figured I couldn’t fuck it up too badly.

I got to work, chopping the tomatoes and onions before letting them sauté in a pan - eventually adding lightly beaten eggs and several spices before topping with crumbled feta. I followed that up with fried pork, then made a small batch of what equated to Greek French toast. Kat came shuffling in just as I added the finishing touches of honey and cinnamon to the fried bread. I could hear her sniffing the air as she came up behind me to wrap her arms around my waist.

“This smells amazing. What did you make?”

After setting the container of cinnamon down, I turned to face her with a smirk, wrapping my arms around her and hugging her against me as I went over the morning menu.

“Well, we have some fried pork…and forgive me if I butcher the names…but I also made some fetoydia and strapatsada.”

Her eyes lit up, “No you didn’t?!?!”

I chuckled, “I did. I also had Cora get you some fancy imported Greek coffee and mountain tea too. I’m curious to try those. Which would you like with your breakfast?”

Her mouth hung open for a beat, clearly surprised by my efforts. “I can’t believe you did that for me…I don’t even know what to say.”

I shrugged, “It’s not a big deal. You know I love to try new things…and you’ve given me a reason to. Now, coffee or tea?”

She sighed in contentment, “Coffee, please.”

I gave her a quick kiss on the forehead before pulling away to get it started, “Coming right up! Food’s done, so dig in.”

She had a ghost of a smile on her lips as she made her plate which had me feeling all warm and fuzzy. I would never tire of spoiling her every chance I got.

Kat seemed to enjoy the meal, moaning in appreciation with every bite. She and I ate way too much to the point we both felt miserable after. Thankfully we had several hours before we had to be in the dance studio, so we could relax and be a little lazy for a while. We spent some time snuggled on the couch - her tucked into my side as Zee stretched out in the crevice between Kat and the back of the sofa. Kat watched as I aimlessly scrolled through the threads of one of my online plant groups, taking the time to respond to questions and complain to her about how so many people gave terrible advice.

I chuckled as I explained to Kat how I was the dickhead that always incited arguments about plant care and then won them and how I had amassed quite the little following that always directly asked me for advice. I often wondered what they would do if they knew who they were actually talking to.

After several minutes, Kat piped up to ask, “What do they mean when they say SuccDee? Is that a dirty plant joke? I don’t understand the context.”

My body shook with laughter as I tried to hold it in. I finally got it together enough to answer her. “My username is ‘Succulent_Daddy_Dee’. They have taken to calling me ‘SuccDee’ for short.”

I could see the moment of realization on her face as her eyes widened. Then she burst into laughter as she buried her face in my chest. She had tears in her eyes as she asked, “And I’m sure you did nothing to encourage that. You’re so bad…”

I snorted out laughter, “Hey, I wasn’t the one to come up with it. However, I will admit I did nothing to discourage it. Honestly, I spent a good five minutes laughing the first time someone said it. It just stuck and it’s kind of fucking perfect.”

She wiped her eyes, “I’m not sure which version of that name is more entertaining. The multiple meanings of the word succulent take it to a whole other level.”

I feigned innocence, “I have no idea what you’re talking about. A succulent is a type of plant. I am the father to many succulent plants. Get your mind outta the gutter.”

She broke into another fit of giggles, “You’re so full of shit.”

I snickered, “Yeah, guilty…but hey, at least I keep it entertaining.”

With the arm she had thrown across my torso, she gave me a little squeeze. “That you do. I can’t complain.”

I continued to scroll, pausing on a post that caught my attention and reading it out loud to Kat.

Here’s a little fun fact for all of my plant enthusiasts. Plants can talk! They emit ultrasonic vibrations of 20–100 kHz. To make this more interesting, cats can hear up to 64 kHz and dogs up to 45 kHz. Does this mean my pets can hear the plants?

I looked down at her, “Fuuck, am I unknowingly driving Zee insane with all my plants? It must be super loud in here to her...”

My attention diverted back to Kat, finding her smiling up at me. “Well, now I know why she sometimes randomly stares at them in that freaky way she does. I wonder if there’s a way we can hear them? Imma have to research this…”

Kat’s smile widened, and to Zee’s dismay, she shifted so that she could raise up to kiss me and mumble, “You’re so fucking adorable” against my lips. My thoughts for the talking plants were soon forgotten as I discarded my iPad on the floor next to the couch and proceeded to have a heated make out session with my lady.

We were interrupted minutes later by her phone ringing on the table next to us. Kat seemed intent on ignoring it, continuing to kiss down my jaw and neck as I turned to grab her cell with a chuckle.

“It’s Marc. You need to take it?”

Her head popped up with a perplexed look on her face, “Yeah…maybe. He rarely calls me.”

She answered, going through the usual small talk and pleasantries before going quiet to listen to what I assumed was his reason for calling. Her brows pinched together slightly before she gave me a puzzled smile.

“Marc wants to know if we’re available for dinner with him, his wife, and Stefanie and her partner on Sunday?”

I was surprised by the request, but they had seemed to be more friendly toward us since the Alec incident. I figured it might do us some good to be sociable, so I shrugged. “Why not? Could be fun.”

Kat gave me a brilliant smile before telling Marc we would be there, then listened for a bit longer before asking, “Bring our guitars?”

Her eyes shifted to mine nervously. I reached up to run my fingers through her hair, causing her to relax into my touch. “Yeah…I’ll tell him to. Yep, see you then.”

After she hung up, her eyes met mine, “It seems they wanna have a jam session after dinner. They all play apparently…”

She didn’t seem excited about that idea. “We don’t have to stay for that if you don’t want to.”

Her nose scrunched up as she asked, “How do you feel about doing that?”

I shrugged, “I mean, it could be fun. I haven’t done anything like that in forever…but if you don’t want to…”

Kat sighed, “No…you know what? I’m gonna do it. I need to play again. It’ll be good for me. Besides, you’ll be there with me, so I’ll be fine.”

Her words caused a warmth to spread through me. I loved that she felt that way, that I could ease her anxieties. She was putting so much trust in me, more than anyone ever had. If only she understood how much that meant. I knew it couldn’t be easy after what she had gone through, which made it mean so much more. I gave her a soft smile before pulling her in for a tender kiss.

Zee chose that moment to paw a glass that was still about one fourth of the way full of water off the coffee table, which broke our spell and the glass.

“Zee, what the fuck?” I huffed out in frustration while Kat snorted out a laugh beside me. Zee gave me a defiant look as her tail whipped back and forth. I sighed as we moved to get up. Kat grabbed Zee to keep her safe while I moved to clean up the mess. Zee now seemed happy as a clam as she purred and snuggled against Kat.

I gave Zee the side eye as I swept up the mess, “There are other less destructive ways to get our attention, young lady. That was not cool.”

Zee seemed like she could care less as Kat scratched behind her ears and snickered at her complete disregard for my scolding. Once I got everything cleaned up, I decided to do some much needed plant care as Kat gave Zee the attention she was demanding. Zee’s need for affection didn’t last long. Once she had her fill, she simply jumped from Kats arms and made her way over to the top of her cat tree to groom herself. Kat scoffed at her dismissal as she stood, coming to stand next to me as I dusted, pruned, and misted leaves. Her arms snaked around my waist as she rested her chin on my shoulder and watched me work in silence for a few minutes. I could feel her lips brush against my skin as she asked, “Can you teach me how to do this?”

I don’t know why, but her request had my heart racing. It made me feel giddy that she wanted to learn about my hobby. I glanced down at her with a smirk, “You mean you don’t already do this for your plants?”

She snorted, “My plants are lucky to get water. They come to my house to survive, not live.”

I shook my head and scoffed out a laugh, “That’s just depressing. Don’t tell me that. Imma have to start checking in on them.”

She smiled against my neck, “I would be ok with that.”

I pulled her around to stand in front of me, now leaning over her shoulder with my arms around her. My hands shifted through the leaves of the plant I was currently working on as I explained when to prune and the process for dusting and misting. She was full of questions as she took over to do it herself. I hugged her backside against me as I supervised, placing the occasional gentle kiss against her jaw and the curve of her neck. Once she got the hang of it, we both worked through all the plants in the room as we chatted and got to know each other better. I honestly couldn’t think of a better way to spend my free time, and I found it to be a wonderful and relaxing way to bond with her.

Before we knew it, it was time for us to head off to rehearsal for the rest of the day. It was another grueling day in the dance studio and also filming day. After seven weeks of this, I could tell it was slowly wearing me down. This dance in particular was taking a lot out of me with it being very high energy. After six hours of it, my tank was running empty and I was beginning to make ridiculous mistakes with my footwork and frame. Kat seemed to be struggling as well. We were both slowing down and couldn’t seem to keep up with the music. At least it made for some interesting footage for the show. We eventually sat on the floor and settled for talking through some parts of it, deciding what still needed to be tweaked or changed and coming up with a game plan for the next two days. That part would probably be less exciting to watch, but we sort of didn’t care.

Once our studio time was up, we headed home. After a quick dinner, we showered together - too tired to do anything aside from getting clean. It wasn’t long before we crashed, falling asleep almost as soon as our heads hit the pillow. When I awoke the next morning to find Zee snuggled up next to me, I couldn’t recall having felt her get in the bed. Neither did Kat. We had obviously been out of it.

We spent our Saturday morning outdoors with the intent to take it easy until our evening rehearsal time. We started with painting some planter pots on the back patio. I had somehow managed to con Kat into the activity over breakfast. She grumbled at first, citing her lack of artistic capabilities, but that grumbling soon abated when I sat down behind her. I made sure to pull her back to my front as snugly as possible before putting my arms around her waist and using my hands to guide hers, showing her different techniques for painting flowers and trees onto the plain terracotta. After she got the hang of it, I took advantage of my position to lavish her exposed neck with attention from my mouth.

Once I had her properly worked up, I scooted away with a smirk so that I could paint my own pot. She scoffed, calling me a “fucking tease” as I shot a wink in her direction. My smugness soon faded when she began removing layers of clothing to reveal a lavender bikini that looked absolutely amazing against her golden skin. She was the smug one now as she pretended not to notice my eyes on her.

I huffed out a laugh as I pulled my t-shirt off over my head, “Fine. Two can play that game, honey.”

She scrunched up her nose in annoyance, then flicked a paintbrush in my direction - causing speckles of paint to splatter all over my face and chest. It only escalated from there. Before it was over with, we were rolling around on top of the drop cloth covered in paint, laughing like a couple of idiots in between making out with each other.

Once we realized our skin was beginning to stick together from the drying paint, we finally got up and made use of the outdoor shower stall to rinse each other off. Afterward, I jumped into the pool while she sat on the side with her legs swishing in the water, laughing at my antics and taking pictures of me with my phone.

I eventually swam up to her, wrapping my arms around her legs and resting my head on her lap as she scratched at my dripping scalp. We sat like that for a time in silence, enjoying the sun and just being together. I could get used to this. It was almost addicting having her here by my side in this way, but it was also calming the storm that always swirled in my mind. The self-depreciating and negative thoughts were so far removed from my focus that I felt what I could only describe as normal? Unburdened? Content? I couldn’t really find a word to describe it. I was definitely happy, but there was something more with it. I knew it was because of her, keeping my demons locked away in the shadows where they belonged.

I raised my head, squinting from the sun as I looked up at her with a smile. “Let's go out to the beach. I haven’t gotten to properly take advantage of it yet.”

Her brows furrowed, “Is that a good idea?”

I shrugged, “It’s a private beach…”

She scrunched up her face, “I don’t like getting in the ocean though…I’m not confident in my swimming capabilities.”

I pouted, “You don’t have to go in very far. Besides, I’m not gonna let anything happen to you. How about I just don’t let go of you?”

She sighed, tilting her head to the side as she slowly gave in to the idea. I gave her a cheesy smile, “I’ll even let you bury me in the sand. You can give me a mermaid tail and boobs.”

She snorted out a laugh, “Fine…fine. I will not be cleaning the sand out of your ass though. That’s on you.”

I backed away from her with a laugh and pulled myself up on the edge of the pool to get out, “Deal…Just remember you didn’t say anything about cleaning under my balls though.”

She cackled as I held out my hands to pull her up from the ground, “Come on, let’s go pack a bag with the essentials. I may even have a tiny shovel and a bucket you can use.”

That pulled another tinkling laugh out of her as she stood.

I was true to my word, letting Kat bury me to do all manner of ridiculous things - including the mermaid tail and boobs. I helped with the boobs, shaping and cupping them to make sure they were the perfect roundness and size, which had us both in a fit of giggles.

Afterwards, Kat stretched out on a towel under the oversized beach umbrella to read while I went for a dip in the ocean to try and wash the sand out of all the places it shouldn’t be. She laid on her stomach for a time, which had her voluptuous ass on display. I couldn’t help staring at it in those little bikini bottoms she had on. It was definitely begging to be spanked. After several minutes, she flipped over onto her back, propping herself up on her elbows as she not so subtly adjusted her top. She gave me a smirk and a wink while her boobs bounced around from where she tugged at the scraps of fabric. She knew exactly what she was doing, and it was working. I was already half hard from the visual. The dirty thoughts that followed finished the job and got me the rest of the way there.

I ambled to the shore, noticing Kat’s gaze on me as I made my way toward her. She tucked her bottom lip between her teeth as she watched me hungrily. My eyes surveyed the area, not seeing anyone near us and realizing the umbrella blocked the view from nearby houses. I intended to take full advantage of that as I sank to my knees at her feet. I crawled up her body, dripping water and peppering kisses along her heated skin as I went. I paused half way and shook my head like a dog, which elicited a loud squeal from her and laughter from the both of us before I captured her lips with mine. Her hips bucked against my raging hardon, causing me to groan into her mouth.

She hummed against my lips, “Feels like somebody enjoyed the view.”

I smiled, dropping my right hand down between her thighs, slipping a finger underneath the fabric of her bikini bottoms to find her soaking wet for me. “I think somebody else did too.”

She sighed softly as I began to rub between her slick folds, “Not gonna lie…you looked pretty fucking hot coming outta the water like that…better than any porno I’ve ever seen.”

I chuckled, leaning down to kiss along her neck as my fingers worked her over. “Sounds like my Kitten needs a little attention. Are you aching for me, honey?”

Her hands tangled in my hair as she nodded and let out a breathy, “Always.”

She began to grind against my hand as my fingers curled inside of her and my thumb made leisurely swirls around her sensitive bud. My lips found her ear as I spoke in a hushed voice, “Always so ready for me…such a needy girl. I want you to come for me, right here…where anyone could see.”

Her thighs began to tense around my hand as her body arched upward against me. I knew she was close. “You’re being such a dirty girl right now, you know that? Letting me play with you out in the open like this…and I think you kinda like it. You like being my dirty girl?”

I pulled back slightly to look at her even though she had a death grip on my hair. She nodded in response to my question, her brows pinching together and mouth falling open as my thumb increased pressure and speed. She was trembling now, so close.

I kissed along her jaw again, mumbling as I worked my way down the curve of her neck, “I’m gonna bend you over the kitchen counter and fuck you senseless as soon as we walk through the door.”

That sent her over the edge, causing her to bury her face against my shoulder to muffle the moans she was trying and failing to hold in. She collapsed against the towel, panting as a lazy smile spread across her face. Her hand slid down from my hair, cupping my cheek as she peered up at me, “The things you do to me…”

I chuckled, “Don’t worry, I’m not done yet…”

She narrowed her eyes at me as I stood and pulled her up from the ground with a smirk. Once she was standing, I didn’t hesitate to lean forward and throw her over my shoulder, giving her ass a good smack before I turned to walk back toward the ocean. She squealed and squirmed, but it didn’t do any good. I had a firm grip as I walked into the water up to my waist before dropping her in. She stood, cursing me as she sputtered out water and wiped at her face. I reached toward her with a smile, snaking my hand around her waist and pulling her into my embrace. She welcomed it, wrapping her arms around my neck and kissing me gently.

I pulled her out a little further into the water, so that we could bob with the waves. I felt her grip tighten slightly, but she didn’t stop me. She was trusting that I wouldn’t let her go. She gave me a mischievous smile as she wrapped her legs around me, now rubbing her center against my dick and further stoking the flame that was burning inside of me.

I groaned, “Now who’s being a fucking tease?”

Her lips moved along my neck, “Want me to take care of that little problem for you?”

I huffed out a laugh, “No. I actually meant what I said earlier…I’m bending you over the counter and fucking you when we get back to the house.”

She raised her head to look at me, her lips fighting a smile. I leaned in, brushing my nose against hers as I reached down to grab the globes of her ass, pulling her center tighter against me, “I’m also gonna spank you and make you come again. Maybe twice if you’re good for me.”

I could feel her thighs clenching against me as her mouth clashed against mine. Our hands explored each other as the kiss deepened, her right one making its way down between us to rub at the bulge in my shorts.

“Can we go back to the house now? Please? I need you…” she begged.

My forehead pressed against hers as I whined, “As if I could deny you anything…”

My hand moved to cup her cheek as I leaned back to take her in. She was so fucking beautiful. The sun was glistening off her tanned skin and emphasizing the gold flecks in her amber eyes in a way I had never seen. I felt dumbstruck by it as my heart began to flutter in my chest. She was literally taking my breath away.

One side of her lips twitched upward, “You OK?”

I nodded as my thumb stroked her face, “Yeah…I’m just…I wanna remember everything about this moment. I umm…” I love you.

I was so fucking close to saying it as she smiled up at me, but I was too afraid it would scare her away. It had only been two weeks. It was too soon.

“I’ve just never umm…”

My words trailed off as I shook my head to clear it. I didn’t know how to express what I was feeling but I needed to say something.

“I’ve never experienced something like this with anyone before…felt how I feel in this moment. I can’t exactly put it into words…”

Her hand dropped to my chest, no doubt feeling my heart pounding against it as her face softened. She leaned in to kiss me sweetly. The moment was ruined a few seconds later by a large wave that nearly knocked us over. She was back to sputtering out water and laughing as I pulled her toward the shore.

We wasted no time packing up and heading toward the house. I pulled her into the outdoor shower stall, our hands and mouths now exploring each other as we washed away the sand and salt and peeled our suits off. Once we were sufficiently clean, I wrapped her in a towel which she secured around her torso as I grabbed one to put around my waist.

She was barely through the sliding doors of the house before she dropped the towel and placed her palms on the island, arching her back toward me as she smiled seductively over her shoulder. I moved to stand behind her, gently running my fingertips up the center of her spine as her head dipped forward between her shoulders from the sensation. I felt her shiver as I made several passes up and down. On the last one, my fingertips continued upward, grazing the back of her neck before sinking my fingers into her hair, grabbing hold at the roots before tugging gently. She stood up straighter, melting into me as my left hand ran down the side of her body. I tugged her hair a little harder, angling her head to the side so I could access her neck to place gentle kisses along the length of it. Then, without warning, I smacked her ass. She moaned quietly. Another smack gave me the same result. Her breaths were coming faster now as the anticipation got to her.

My lips moved against her ear, “Tell me what you want, Kitten.”

Her eyes slid shut as she exhaled, “I want you to have your way with me…any way you want.”

I groaned against the side of her neck, “You’re gonna make me come saying shit like that.”

She chuckled, pressing her ass against me just a little more, which resulted in another smack. She smiled this time.

I tutted at her, “I think you like that…lean forward.”

She did so as I dropped down to my knees, giving the other cheek a couple of smacks for good measure before landing one right to her center, causing her to flutter around nothing. My hands found her thighs, massaging deeply as they moved upward to her hips. She was dripping wet and practically begging for more when I leaned forward and licked up her folds, causing her to cry out as she gripped the edge of the island until her knuckles turned white.

I dove into her cunt like a man starved, absolutely devouring her as my hands gripped her hips tightly to keep her from squirming. I had her falling apart within minutes as I sucked and licked at her bundle of nerves, giving the occasional slap to her ass as I worked. When she finally came, I didn’t stop or slow the pace, causing her to come for a second time in quick succession.

Her legs nearly gave out on the second one. So, I held her around the middle with one arm as I stood. After dropping the towel from my waist, I used my free hand to drag myself through her slick. She moaned quietly each time the head nudged against her over sensitive clit. After notching at her entrance, I sank in slowly. Taking my time so she could feel every inch slide in and out at the perfect angle.

I pulled her against my chest, one hand sliding around to grip under her chin, angling her face toward mine so I could see her. Her face was sweaty, flushed, and completely blissed out when she met my gaze. It had me feeling the same way I had when we were in the ocean. It felt like home. It felt like peace. I felt complete.

My forehead fell against hers, “You’re so fucking beautiful…perfect for me…never letting you go.”

I was babbling like a fool and completely losing myself as my other arm held her around the waist. She laced her fingers through mine, gripping my hand tightly as I clung to her. I know I said I would fuck her, but this was so much more than that. I kept the pace slow and languid, our breathing completely synced as we drowned in each other’s gaze.

I could feel Kat’s abdomen tighten as she quickly came again out of nowhere, squeezing me to the point that I could hardly move. Her jaw went slack, one of her hands flying up to twist into my hair as she let out a loud cry. I was seconds behind her, the feeling and intensity of her orgasm pulling me over the edge with her. My hand released her chin to reach for the counter as I attempted to steady myself, but it was no use.

My legs gave out, causing me to sink down to my knees - pulling Kat with me. I was somehow still pulsing and leaking inside of her as she melted against me.

I panted out a breathy, “Fuck…sorry. I-I…couldn’t stand…anymore. That was…intense.”

She sat on my thighs, both of us slumped against the side of the island as we tried to catch our breath. My arm around her tightened as I leaned in to kiss the side of her cheek. She turned, her lips seeking mine for a heated kiss that had me seeing stars.

When she finally pulled away, my attention was drawn to movement at my left. Kat’s eyes followed my line of sight and found Zee, who was sitting on the floor with her head tilted, her tail twitching from side to side as she looked up at us with concern? Confusion? Curiosity? I wasn’t really sure. Kat and I both burst into laughter, her leaning back into my chest as I hugged her snugly and laughed into her shoulder.

“Is this what it feels like when moms and dads get caught doing the dirty by the kids? Because I feel like that’s what just happened,” I said between chuckles.

Kat snorted out another laugh, “I dunno, but I think she’s kind of into it. She was totally watching.”

I gasped for air, “If that’s the case, she gets that shit from you. You’re the one who likes to watch.”

Kat leaned her head back against me, still laughing as I reached for a towel. I motioned for her to open her legs a bit to put it in place before I pulled out of her with a groan. Between the two of us, we had made an absolute mess of each other. We both shifted, stretching out on the tile because our legs still felt weak.

I sighed, glancing at the clock on the microwave, “I think we’re gonna be late for rehearsal.”

She waved a dismissive hand, “I don’t care…whatever that was…was totally worth it.”

We were late for rehearsal. Forty-five minutes late to be specific, but I really didn’t mind. There was more between us after that, somehow feeling more connected than we already were. Maybe it was just because of the intensity of everything. I couldn’t be sure. Whatever it was definitely carried over to our dancing. We were so on top of it, barely making the tiniest of mistakes. I felt newly energized and ready to win that fucking Mirrorball trophy as we went through the routine one last time.

Since we had a long day planned for Sunday and felt pretty on top of the choreography, we headed home early. There was no way to improve perfection after all.

Kat and I had just gotten home, and I was making some quick sandwiches for dinner when my cell rang. Lenny’s name flashed on the screen. I looked at the time, it was near 9:30 PM, which was sort of late for him. He tended to go to bed early since he got up before the sun rose most days. Worried something was up, I sucked some mayo off my fingers as I hurried to answer it.

“Hey Len…”

“What the hell have you been doing?” he barked out before I could even finish my greeting.

I winced, “What do you mean? I haven’t been doing anything.”

Kat’s wide eyes met mine in concern. I shrugged.

He sighed, “Who were you with today?”

I was so fucking confused, “I was at dance rehearsal with Kat. That’s the only place I’ve gone. Why?”

I could hear him shuffling papers around on his end of the line, “TMZ just called. They have pictures of you at the beach kissing a woman.”

I grimaced as my eyes shifted back to Kat. Fuck.

“How the hell did they get those? I was literally in my backyard on a private beach. There was no one else out there today.”

Lenny huffed, “Then you obviously have an asshole neighbor who wanted a quick buck.”

I sighed, “Fuck.” I switched the phone to speaker so Kat could hear, then I asked “Can you tell who it is in the pictures?”

“They’re asking if it’s Kat. Is it?”

Kat shrugged, waving her hand to go ahead and tell him the truth. “Can you tell who’s in the pictures?” I asked again.

He was quiet for a minute, obviously looking at them, “I mean…I can’t. Most of them are blurry. It’s pretty far away. I can definitely tell it’s you, but most of the pictures of the woman are from the back...Is it her?”

I scrunched my eyes shut as I rubbed at the bridge of my nose, “Tell them it’s not her…but yes, it’s her.”

He scoffed, “Fucking hell, Dieter. I thought we were done with this shit? What do you think you’re doing? Are you using again?”

My fists clenched together. I took a deep breath to calm myself as Kat came to stand next to me, placing a comforting hand on top of mine.

“No…I’m not fucking using again. It’s not like that Lenny, OK? This is different. We’re like…together. It’s not…not a fuck buddy situation or anything. I care about her.” I puffed air out of my cheeks in frustration, now pacing around the kitchen nervously as Kat watched me in silence.

“Look, we don’t want anyone to know yet. The producers can’t find out and the less that’s confirmed for Alec, the better. I need you and the team to keep this under wraps.”

Lenny was unusually quiet now. I didn’t know how to take that. “Len, you still with me?”

He cleared his throat, “Yeah, I’m just…processing. Does your therapist know about this? Is it really a good idea? I thought you weren’t getting involved with your co-stars anymore?”

I rolled my eyes, “Look, I’m tryin’ not to be pissed about this because I know where you’re coming from. It’s my fault, I earned that…but trust me when I say this is different. And yes, my therapist knows. She’s been supportive of it. She likes Kat.”

He sighed, “Ok, so how the hell are we supposed to handle this?”

I was still pacing as I talked through it, “Well…nothing we can do about the pictures. Maybe…”

I paused to think through my words before I continued, giving Kat a wide-eyed look as the idea sparked. “Maybe we take advantage of this. We say it’s not Kat…lie…say I’m seeing someone else but wish to protect her privacy. Use it as a misdirection…It might help settle the rumors about us and get the producers, Alec, and the paparazzi off her back some.”

Lenny chuckled, “You really think your publicist is gonna go for that?”

Kat snorted out a laugh over that one. She obviously thought it was funny, but I did want her input before I did anything.

“Kat, are you good with that? I don’t wanna do anything without your consent.”

She nodded, “It is a funny thought to be honest. I’m cool with it. They’ve been fucking with us this whole time. It’s time to beat them at their own game.”

I turned back to my phone, “You hear that, Len? This is probably gonna cause a little mayhem, but we’re here for it.”

He grumbled, “Your publicist is gonna murder both of us.”

I chuckled, “Not my problem…better start making some calls because I’m posting something as soon as we hang up.”

“Ugh, fine. Ok. This is all on you though.”

I smiled, “Thanks Len, you’re the best. We’ll talk soon.”

He grumbled some more then hung up without even saying goodbye.

I turned to Kat and smiled nervously, “Well, looks like we have a project to do tonight. We need to look through my camera roll…just…don’t judge me for what you find.”

Her brows furrowed, “Do I even wanna know what that means?”

I shrugged, “I mean…it’s just full of pictures of Zee and plants…and you.”

Her brows arched, “Oh, really?”

I grimaced as my face heated, “Yeah, I may have saved a few I found online…and I sneak pictures of you frequently.”

She shook her head and laughed, “I can’t wait to see this…”

As we sat eating our sandwiches, I handed my phone over. Kat scrolled in silence, an occasional smirk on her face before glancing up at me and shaking her head. After several minutes, her phone pinged a few times before she finally slid mine back over to me with a smile.

“What did you just do?” I asked.

Her smile widened, “I sent myself some pictures of you and Zee.”

I leaned toward her, narrowing my eyes slightly. “Maybe I need to check your camera roll…”

Her eyes widened, “Umm…mine is far more scandalous. I’ve saved some pictures of my own. You’ve done a lot of salacious photoshoots, you know that?”

She shot a mischievous look over her glass as she took a sip, “Don’t give me any ideas…”

I grabbed my phone, snickering as I unlocked it. “So, I think the backlit picture of you and Zee, you painting, lying in bed from behind, and then the one you took of me in the pool kissing your leg will do. I don’t feel like it's obvious that’s you in those pictures. I’ll just do a whole photo dump and keep it vague. Let them speculate away.”

She huffed out a laugh, “You’re about to cause all kinds of chaos with this.”

I nodded, “Probably. I’ve never posted cutesy pictures of a woman before. It’s definitely making a statement…”

(More after the graphic.)

The post did indeed cause chaos. Likes and comments began to flood in - most of them asking if it was Kat in the pictures. I responded to exactly one person with, “Did I tag Kat? No.”

That set off a whole new onslaught of chatter and speculation. Kat egged it on by liking the original post and my comment. I could only imagine how my publicist was handling this. I was sure her head was probably about to explode.

When I woke up on Sunday morning, Kat was lying against my chest with her leg thrown across mine. She was still asleep, so I reached over to the nightstand to grab my phone without waking her. I was almost afraid to see what awaited me when I opened Instagram. I found more of the same stuff from the previous night. It was officially my most liked and most commented post ever.

I took a moment, taking in the sight before me. Ehh, we can do better than that.

As if I wasn’t already causing enough trouble, I took a short video clip of my hand rubbing along Kat’s bare leg. It was obvious we were tangled up in bed, wrapped in nothing but sheets with a nice view of the ocean outside the French doors. I posted it. There was no caption, only emojis, “👉👌🤯🤯🤯😏”

I threw in a few hashtags too, #PerfectMorning #MindBlown #WouldntChangeAThing

(More after the graphic.)

I was patiently awaiting a call from my publicist after that. She really might murder me over this one.

I sat with a smug smile as I watched the comments roll in. One in particular caught my attention.

Beasty45: I really hope you’re not screwing Kat over too. She deserves better.

I had to appreciate the sentiment behind it and really hated people thinking that way. So, I hit reply.

BangingBravo1: Wow. Never. She’s my bestie. All is well. 👍👍

It wasn’t a lie. She was my best friend as far as I was concerned.

I felt Kat stir against me. She groaned, hiding her face against my chest, “What time is it?”

I looked at the time, “You’ve got ten minutes before the alarm goes off.”

She let out another groan as her eyes blinked open, “What are you doing?”

I snickered and handed her my phone, “Causing more chaos.”

She squinted at the screen, then rolled her eyes as she handed it back to me with a laugh. “Now everyone knows you had a night of mind-blowing sex. Wonderful.”

“I know. I’m in trouble.”

As if on cue, a text message popped up from my publicist.

Janine: What the fuck are you doing?!?! Stop it. Now.

I cackled, tilting the phone toward Kat so she could see it, “That’s tame for her. I usually get a call with lots of yelling. Trust me. She’s dealt with worse.”

Kat shook her head, sighing heavily, “Today is gonna be interesting…”

We crawled out of bed soon after that to get ready for the day. We had a morning rehearsal slot, so that was first on our agenda. We had the routine down by this point, so we just focused on cleaning things up and tried not to wear ourselves out too much.

After rehearsal, we had our weekly spray tan. As we were walking into Television City Studios, I realized that I had a missed text from Janine from earlier in the day saying that TMZ had posted the article and pictures, so that was now out there for the world to see. They had to add an addendum once they realized I had made the social media posts, completely spoiling their 'breaking story'.

(More after the graphic.)

Kat and I were thankful the staff got us in and out quickly for the spray tan because we were definitely getting some looks and whispers. I imagine the confusion was spreading because we were fairly certain the majority of the cast thought we were together. We couldn’t help laughing about it as we left, wondering if Joe and Stacia had heard the news yet.

Kat ran to her house to check on things and pick up her guitar while I went home to feed Zee her dinner. Zee was in full menace mode as she tried to smack things off the counter while I prepared her food. It seemed to be her new favorite pastime, apparently enjoying getting me in a tizzy. She knew what she was doing, freezing mid shove when I would lock eyes with her. I concluded that she must think it’s some sort of game. A game that was fun for her and a nightmare for me. I ended up shooing her out of the kitchen so I could work in peace.

I turned to see what the hell she was up to now, my eyes landing on her as she shoved a small potted succulent off the window sill. Luckily the pot did not break, but dirt spilled everywhere.

I sighed, “Why is this a thing all of a sudden?”

Zee meowed as she jumped down to rub against Kat’s legs and shot me some nasty side eye. Kat snickered as she shooed Zee away so she could clean up the mess.

“Maybe you’re not preparing her food fast enough. Best get to it, cat daddy.”

I huffed, “She messes with me, and I’ll go get some of that cheap nasty pellet garbage and she can have that. Little punk…”

Kat laughed at me as I continued to grumble about Zee’s impatience while Zee rubbed up against my legs and yelled at me until I finally set her plate down on the food mat. Zee rushed to her plate and ate with enthusiasm. I rolled my eyes at her as I turned to Kat, “All right, now that the diva is taken care of…you ready to go?”

Kat nodded, “Yep. Let’s get this sideshow on the road.”

My hand found its way to her hip and squeezed gently as I leaned in to give her a quick peck on the lips, “I should probably be offended by that, but it might actually be an accurate description…of me anyway.”

She playfully pushed my shoulder and laughed, “At least you’re aware. Let’s go.”

On the drive to Marc’s house, I could feel a twinge of anxiety forming in the pit of my stomach since I didn’t really know what to expect. From what I knew about Marc, he was a family man and seemed pretty drama free as far as his public persona was concerned. That helped some, but that didn’t mean there wouldn’t be alcohol or other things floating around. I knew it was something I would have to face eventually, but I wasn’t sure how ready for it I actually was. However, one glance in Kat’s direction suppressed those feelings. I knew she had my back, and I knew I would never do anything to let her down.

A short time later we pulled into Marc’s driveway and made our way to the front door. He greeted us, making small talk as he led us out to the back patio where he introduced us to his wife Valarie, and Stefanie’s partner, Kira. He was cooking hamburgers and hotdogs on the grill while everyone else sat around and chatted. So, as these things go, I joined him at the grill while Kat joined the ladies. We went into more small talk about the show, rehearsals, how I was feeling about ballroom dancing in general. It was all pretty surface level. Then, he asked me if I wanted a drink as he moved toward a cooler. I was taken off guard and sort of froze up.

He seemed to sense my hesitation as he opened the lid, giving me a gentle smile, “I’ve got water, a couple different kinds of soda, and if you’re feeling really adventurous…some juice boxes.”

I visibly relaxed as a smile tugged at my lips, “Water…please.”

His smile widened as he pulled a bottle out of the ice and handed it to me. He grabbed a juice box for himself, unwrapping the straw and stabbing it into the top with pursed lips. “Sorry, I probably should have worded that differently. I know you're sober.”

I shook my head and waved it off, “No big deal. Don’t even worry about it.”

His brows furrowed, eyes shifting up to meet mine as he took a quick pull from the straw before setting the drink down beside the grill. “No, I get it. I’m eight years sober myself. I remember how hard and awkward it was in those early days. People can be weird when you say you don’t drink…or do anything else for that matter.”

I nodded, “Yeah, I’ve been lucky enough to not run into that yet. I’ve been keeping to myself a lot…”

He picked up the tongs to flip the patties on the grill, “So how long has it been for you?”

I screwed the cap off the water and took a swig, “Ten months. Longest I’ve ever been sober since all that shit started.”

He smiled, “That’s good. When you hit a year, we’ll have to do something to celebrate. That’s a big deal.”

I nodded, feeling warmth creeping up my cheeks from the praise. “Yeah, I mean…I think I owe Kat for a lot of it. She’s been so supportive when others haven’t…It makes a lot of difference when you have people in your corner.”

Marc nodded, “That’s so true. I never would have made it without Val. She held me to it, and I’m so thankful for that.” He paused, turning toward me with raised brows. “You know, if you ever need to talk about it or anything…I don’t mind. Sometimes it helps to talk through things with someone that’s been there. Especially if you’re having a moment…”

He pulled out his phone, “No pressure, but we can exchange digits that way you have it.”

I reached to pull my phone out of my pocket, “Yeah…sure. That’s really nice of you actually.”

I gave him my new number, then he sent me a text message so I could save his to my contact list. That was a development I wasn’t expecting, but I was strangely happy about it. I suddenly felt much better about how the evening was going to go. Kat caught my eye, giving me a questioning look. Something must have shifted about my body language, and she could sense it. I smirked, giving her a quick wink before taking another drink of water.

My attention shifted back to Marc as he handed me a large platter to hold while he piled the different meats on top of it, announcing the food was ready. We settled into easy conversation as we ate, getting to know one another a little better. Everyone seemed at ease. There was no pressure or awkwardness. It was nice to have normal conversation without all the posturing and cockiness that often came with Hollywood type gatherings. It was exactly what I needed.

As we all became more comfortable with each other, they got a little braver with their questions. Which led to Stefanie giving Kat and I a deadpan stare before asking, “So what’s really going on with you two? I’m not buying whatever shit TMZ put out today.”

Kat and I gave each other a nervous glance, I shrugged and held my hand up in surrender toward her indicating I was good with whatever she wanted to say.

She took a deep breath, smiling nervously as her eyes roamed around the table, “Well…we’re…”

She paused, her brows arching as her eyes found mine again. “I mean yeah…we’re together, but we’re trying to keep it under wraps…for several reasons.”

They were all smiling at us now. Stefanie threw her arms in the air like she had just won something, “I fucking knew it! I knew it. How long?”

Kat and I laughed at her enthusiasm. “Not long. Just since New York,” I answered.

Stefanie playfully shoved Marc, “I fucking told you. You owe me $100.”

Marc rolled his eyes, “Fine, I’ll Venmo you.”

Kat and I both scoffed, laughing over the fact they were making bets.

Marc pulled out his phone and began tapping away, “Don’t worry guys, we won’t say anything. I know Alec is an issue.”

Kat gave him a tight smile, “Yeah, we figured it best not to provoke him as much as possible. He’s looking for any excuse he can find to make what happened be my fault. There’s also Stacia and Joe with their meddling…I don’t want to give them the satisfaction of thinking they had anything to do with this.”

Valarie’s brows furrowed, “So what’s with the beach pictures and social media posts then?”

I chuckled, “Well, I apparently have an asshole neighbor that took pictures of us in what is essentially my back yard and sold them to TMZ. They reached out to my team asking if it was Kat, so I told them to deny it. I’m just gonna play it off like I’m seeing someone else…a total misdirection. At minimum, it’ll cause a little chaos and make Stacia and Joe lose their shit. We’ll see how long it lasts.”

Everyone laughed. Stefanie clapped her hands several times before announcing, “If anyone asks, we’ve all met Dieter’s new woman and she’s amazing. I’m totally backing this chaos.”

Agreements sounded out around the table which had Kat and I leaning into each other and laughing. We relaxed some after that. Now that our secret was out, I felt more comfortable showing affection toward her and her toward me. It was nice not to have to hold back, to be able to reach out and touch her when I wanted to, to put my arm around her or rest my hand on her thigh. At least we now felt like we had a safe space among friends.

Marc eventually steered the conversation to Kat’s plans after this season ended, which was something she and I hadn’t really discussed. We had been very much in the present up to this point and I was suddenly feeling like an asshole for not asking about it myself.

Kat’s excitement was clear as she answered, “Well, I’m really hoping to open up my own dance studio…and I would love to offer some classes for things that are a little harder to find around here. I still need to do more market research to see how that would look, but we can always have the normal stuff to fall back on too. I haven’t got to put as much work into yet as I would like, but once the show is over, I’m gonna jump in head first and see what happens.”

Everyone began to throw ideas around at that point. It seemed like there was a real possibility something was brewing. I made a mental note to bring it up with Kat again later. I wanted to make sure I was supportive and help in any way I could. I also liked the thought of helping her plan for the future, because I really hoped that I would be welcomed as part of it.

After we finished up with dinner, we moved to the garage. Marc had converted the space to his “Jam Room”. It was full of various instruments - a piano in one corner while a drum set sat in the other. Several different types of guitars hung on the wall along with some small handheld percussion instruments. Microphones and small speakers sat around the room. It seemed to be a proper setup for making music, which surprised me. I wasn’t expecting to walk into this.

Kat looked almost giddy as she took in the space, which surprised me. She seemed to be coming out of her shell, which was understandable. They did well to make us feel welcome and relaxed.

Marc pulled an electric guitar down from the wall while Kira took her place at the drums, making it obvious they had done this before. Marc began to strum a slow sexy tune as Kira joined in with a beat. Stefanie started dancing around the room to the music as Valarie sat down at the piano. My gaze turned to Kat, she looked amused as her eyes met mine.

I smiled, arching my brows as my head began to sway with the music. She laughed, her cheeks flushing as she watched me move. I took it up a few notches, rolling my torso and hips as I shuffled toward her. I raised my arms, moving them to the beat, biting my bottom lip as I enticed her to join me. I was dancing for her, showing her what else these loose hips can do outside of the ballroom.

“What’s the matter, honey? Too hot for you?” I asked.

I could hear everyone else chuckling behind me as I grabbed her hand and pulled her to the center of the room to do a little old fashioned dirty dancing. When the song concluded, I pulled her in for a quick kiss and everyone whooped and whistled, which had her blushing even more. Once everyone settled down, I leaned in next to her ear, “Want me to go get your guitar?”

She gave me a toothy grin and nodded. After another quick kiss, I made my way outside to the car. I was back with both of our cases within minutes as Marc found a couple more chairs and microphones for us to join the circle. A couple of hours passed by in no time as we took turns choosing songs to play. Those who knew them joined in while the others just vibed. It was honestly the most fun I had in a long time.

Stefanie asked if she could take some videos to post on social media. We all agreed, figuring it would be good content to promote the show since we were supposed to be doing that anyway. I felt less weird about it since it was a whole group of people from the cast, rather than just Kat and me. I still felt pretty strongly about not taking advantage of our relationship to boost my own career. Deep down I knew that any content of us together would do that, but I did want to have some limits on it. She wasn’t a plaything for me to use as I saw fit. It needed to be on her terms.

After several minutes passed, Marc suggested that we go live and maybe take some song requests from the chat and answer some fan questions. After some coaxing, we all agreed. As Marc worked to set up the tripod, Stefanie turned to me with a mischievous smile, “Dieter, please try and behave yourself around Kat. I don’t wanna be on TMZ tomorrow for encouraging an affair that will destroy your imaginary girlfriend’s heart.”

That drew a round of laughter from everyone as I scrunched up my face, “I guess I already have a reputation…I’ll try my best.”

Once Marc had his phone set up, he mirrored his screen to one of the TV’s hanging on the wall so we could all see the chat, then we went live. Within minutes there were over two thousand viewers. The numbers only climbed from there, with people posting in all caps about Kat and I being there.

Kat snickered and pointed at the screen, “I guess the Dieterina Stans found us already.”

We waved and said ‘hi’ to everyone. Since it was Marc’s Instagram account, we motioned for him to take over and share what was going on. The song recommendations began to roll in, with Marc and Stefanie taking the lead on the first two. After that, the chat flooded with requests for me and Kat to sing. I deferred to her on that, asking if she wanted to do one. She shrugged, then asked the viewers for some song recs. We laughed over some of the options thrown out as she joked about them not being her style. Suddenly her brows arched as if something caught her attention. A smirk formed on her lips, “Hmm, that one is certainly a mood.”

We all gave her a questioning look. “Which one?” I asked.

She pulled the lyrics and chords up on her phone and propped it on the stand in front of us. I couldn’t help cackling. It would definitely send a message.

She turned to everyone else, “You guys know Eyes on Fire by Blue Foundation?"

Stefanie bounced up and down, laughing maniacally and clapping her hands. Probably having the same thought that I did. “I do! I’ll do the backup vocals.”

I swapped out my acoustic for one of Marc’s electric guitars for this one, playing the intro as Kat and Stefanie started in on the ethereal vocables that the song opens with. Kat’s voice took on an almost haunting melancholic tone as she dove into the first verse. The smirk still graced her lips as a knowing look passed between us. This was totally a major ‘fuck you’ to Alec, and I knew I was going to love every second of it.

🎶Listen to Eyes on Fire Here.

I'll seek you out / Flay you alive / One more word and you won't survive / And I'm not scared / Of your stolen power / I see right through you any hour I won't soothe your pain / I won't ease your strain / You've been waiting in vain / I've got nothing for you to gain

It was hard not to be absolutely mesmerized by her as she worked her way through the lyrics. It was obvious to me that something had finally shifted for her. She had taken back her life and was owning it - putting it out there for the world to see. She had escaped hell and was now controlling the narrative. It was her game to play. I loved seeing her like this, free to be herself and not holding back. It was a beautiful sight. My infatuation with her was probably written all over my face as I strummed the chords to the song, but I didn’t care. She was stunning like this.

Stefanie continued to sing the background vocals as Kat moved on to the next verse. Her eyes focused on me hungrily, our connection causing the air around us to vibrate. There was just something about us and music. It didn’t matter if we were dancing, playing, or singing. It caused an electricity to buzz around us, linking us together in a metaphysical way.

I'm taking it slow / Feeding my flame / Shuffling the cards of your game / And just in time / In the right place / Suddenly I will play my ace I won't soothe your pain / I won't ease your strain / You've been waiting in vain / I've got nothing for you to gain

At this point, the song was reaching the crescendo. Kira joined in with the drums and Marc with the bass guitar. I layered my vocals along with Kat’s, the sound even more haunting now as we finished out the final verse.

Eyes on fire / Your spine is ablaze / Felling any foe with my gaze / And just in time / In the right place / Steadily emerging with grace / Felling any foe with my gaze / Steadily emerging with grace

The chat was going absolutely insane when we finished. I thought I even saw a few “fuck Alec” comments fly by in the chaos of it.

Stefanie began to clap again, “I think we should start a band. We’re kicking ass here.”

We all laughed as she turned to me, “Alright Bravo, you’re up. Whatta ya got?”

I pursed my lips, “I dunno, I’m open to suggestions…”

We watched the chat flood with comments, there were a few song recommendations but there were even more questions.

Where’s Bravo’s new lady? Funny how everyone else has their romantic partner there except for Dieter. Dieter is so full of shit. We all know it’s Kat. Yo Bravo, where’s your beach babe? We wanna meet her! Has Kat met Dieter’s new girl?

I let out a nervous laugh as I glanced at Kat. She winked then gave me a mischievous smile before turning to the camera, “Guys chill. Yes, I’ve met Dieter’s significant other. I know her very well. We’re all friends.”

I chuckled, “Yeah, don’t worry. She’s not being left out…she’s here with me.”

This is the biggest conspiracy since the moon landing. I’m too high for this shit. What’s even happening? I thought he was gay? This hurts my soul. You two are made for each other! #Dieterina #NotJustFriends Maybe it's a throuple situation. No way they haven’t boned. Poor Kat, she's like the 7th wheel now.

I couldn’t help laughing at the comments, “Guys, come on, be nice…back to the song recs please.”

A song title finally caught my attention. I took a minute to check in with Kira and Marc to see if they were familiar with it before adjusting the mic so that I could stand for this one. I needed to be able to move around a bit. Once I was situated, Marc got us started with the opening guitar riff for The Devil Wears Lace. It was a nice little blues song about desire, temptation, attraction, and obsession.

Kat, Stefanie, and Val provided entertainment by dancing around us. It was all good fun until Kat’s eyes locked with mine. Her moves became more provocative as she approached me. By the time I hit the chorus she was the only thing I could focus on.

🎶Listen to The Devil Wears Lace Here.

So light me in flames / Just as hot as you need / Let me see the good girl you wanted to be / All of my praise, only from me / I can be the one who could set you free / Fall from your grace / Turn up the heat / I feel I'm going down, hands gripping the sheets / Settin' the pace / Number the beast / Got me by the belt, heart skippin' a beat / The devil and me

She moved around me, against me, up and down my body. I played into it of course, wiggling against her as I belted out the lyrics - both of us giving each other mischievous smiles. This was definitely going to get the conspiracy theories going. I couldn’t bother to care because she looked so fucking hot dancing like this. The slow sensual roll of her body was a sight to behold, and it was all mine. I loved to see her let loose and have fun like this.

When the song ended, she strutted away before bursting into laughter. It was a little infectious, causing me to do the same. The chuckles of everyone else drew my attention to the monitor. The comments had gone completely unhinged by this point.

I huffed out a laugh and shook my head, “Can we not talk about Kat like that please? She’s not a piece of meat.”

Kat snorted out a laugh as she squeezed my arm in thanks. Marc jumped in to try and redirect the conversation, “Alright guys…I think one more and we’re gonna call it a night since we do have a rather long day tomorrow.”

He paused, obviously reading the comments about the show before chuckling, “Oh obviously Stefanie and I are gonna win the trophy.”

I laughed, “Hey now! We’ve gone all night without trash talking. Don’t you start…besides, obviously Kat and I are gonna win. I’m gonna call it though, we’ll be the top two groups. Nobody is beating us.”

Marc rolled his eyes, “Yeah, don’t try to sweet talk me after insulting me.”

Stefanie cut in, placing her hands on her hips as she spoke, “Now boys. Let’s play nice or Kat and I will drop you both and claim the win for ourselves.”

Marc and I both rolled our eyes in response as Val cut in, “Hey, how about we stop bickering and end with that song we did earlier. That was a good one…”

Marc and I both furrowed our brows, waiting for her to continue. She chuckled at our similar expressions before answering, “All on My Mind.”

We nodded as I shouted, “Ok…Kat we’re up.”

Kat and I took our place, sharing a freestanding mic as everyone jumped in with their instruments. I took lead, singing the main verses while Kat joined in on the chorus, alternating the lines.

🎶 Listen to All on My Mind Here.

I said, "Oh, honey, just like that" / I give you my loving and you give it right back / I said, "Oh, honey, just like this" / Hanging on white knuckle grip

Kat and I sang together for the remainder of the chorus while the rest of the group jumped in on the repeated lines.

It's all on my mind / Feel something when I kiss you good night / It's all on my mind / Feel something when I open my eyes / It's all on my mind / Feel that I could be your sweetest compromise / It's all on my mind / It's all on my mind

Our eyes stayed on each other, big smiles on our lips as we belted out the words in unison. I couldn’t deny that we sounded amazing together. Our voices complemented each other perfectly, especially when we leaned into the bluesy sounds of the music. Hell, truth be told, we all sounded pretty amazing as a group. Nothing could compare to how it felt singing with Kat though. We finished out the last verse together, completely at ease and having fun.

Well, me and my baby are the bass in the beat / A lo-fi rhythm, the sweat and the heat / Come on now lover, won't you follow my lead / And we'll move on into the night

The energy in the room was high as we finished it out after everyone gave it their all on the chorus refrain. It was probably the best one of the night. The chat was going wild with praise for everyone, but Kat and I were getting most of the attention.

Can we just get this crew their own show? So much more entertaining. 🙌 Dieter and Kat are amazing together. 😍😍😍 I had no idea Dieter Bravo had this much talent. Kat, marry me. I’m NOT an asshole. 🙏🙏 Both? Both. Yes. 😏

We all said our goodbyes after that, promising to do another live soon since we had so much fun together. Once Marc disconnected, we all broke into a fit of laughter.

Marc was still chuckling as he said, “I’m sure Stacia and Joe are gonna have a lot to say about that.”

“Yeah, I’m sure my publicist will too. I’ve done nothing but cause chaos all day,” I replied.

Kat came over, snaking her arm around my waist. She fought a smile as she leaned into me, “And, the plot thickens. Apparently, we’re in a throuple with your mystery lady now.”

I shook my head, “Yeah…I’m not even upset about that. I’ve been accused of worse things. I’m not sharing my Kit Kat though…” I paused, reaching down to swat her butt cheek, “This is Bravo’s ass.”

Her eyes darkened as she attempted to give me an admonishing look, but she failed. She was totally turned on by that.

My brow arched as she fought a smile. We were completely oblivious to everyone’s amused eyes on us. When we finally turned to look at them, a blush crept up Kat’s cheeks.

I cleared my throat, “Well, everyone…this was fun. We should do it again.”

They all nodded with knowing smiles. “We should probably…uhh…head out. We all have a ridiculously early start in the morning and I wanna be well rested so I can kick your ass on the dance floor.”

Marc and Stefanie both gave me a deadpan stare before flipping the bird, causing me to let out a boisterous laugh. “Ahh, I think I’ve finally found my people.”

Kat and I said our goodbyes, grabbing our guitar cases then heading out the door. The air around us was thick on the drive home. Kat definitely didn’t help the situation with her hand wandering dangerously close to a very much at attention little Bravo. Her eyes cut toward me with a smirk on her lips every time she did it.

We started pulling each other’s clothes off as soon as we walked through the door. We may not have gone to bed at a decent hour, but we definitely fell asleep happy and satiated.

Monday mornings meant performance day. We followed our usual routine, arriving at Television City studios extremely early so we could get our camera blocking out of the way first. That went smoothly and we nailed the routine on each run through. We were feeling pretty confident about it as we headed toward wardrobe for our final fitting.

Kat’s costume for the week really had my attention. There was just something about her in red. It looked amazing against her dark features and golden skin, giving her a sultry edge. This dress was no exception, the way it draped around her body and gathered in the back accentuated her curves in the best way. Her back and shoulders were completely exposed, emphasizing the muscular contours. This was an area that I had never given much attention to on woman, but hers were so fucking sexy. I couldn't help staring as she raised her arms and turned this way and that for Amy to pin bits of fabric for some minor alterations. The image was seared into my brain, I knew it would be the subject of one of my paintings later.

I ended up ditching the jacket and tie that went with my costume. It felt too constricting for the choreography of this dance. Before it was all said and done, I only wore the red pants and red velvety button up shirt - leaving several buttons open and rolling up the sleeves, at Kat’s request, of course.

(More after the graphics.)

Hair and makeup were pretty uneventful. We managed to snag our usual ladies, filling our time with banter and jokes as they worked. They gave Kat a sleek up-do this time. I swear she rolled her eyes every time they added a new bobby pin. I sort of didn’t mind it though, because I knew I would be the one to help her take them all out later. She suggested they leave my hair in loose curls this week. To my surprise, they actually did. However, they still put a shit ton of gel and hairspray in it to my dismay.

We had managed to avoid Alec and Lana the entire morning. We assumed he was hiding out in his dressing room as much as he could. Word seemed to be spreading about what an absolute asshole he was to Kat, and many didn’t take too kindly to it. He was no longer the popular one of the cast and Kat loved every second of it. His ego was definitely taking a hit, which was the one thing that would hurt him the most.

We could only be lucky for so long. Alec and Lana were already in the staging area when we got there. He didn’t even bother to try and hide the disdain on his still slightly bruised face. Lana kept shooting glances our way with an odd expression. It was almost smug, maybe? I couldn’t quite figure it out. Kat and I made sure to watch ourselves since the backstage cameras were circling like sharks, being sure to keep our interactions friendly between each other. We also made a point to not look Alec and Lana’s way after the initial sizing up. We didn’t want to give the producers anything to work with.

Kat did the opening performance with Marc and the rest of their group, then rushed to change. I stayed with her the entire time, not chancing leaving her alone while the asshole was in the same building. There would not be another repeat of what happened after New York.

Alec and Lana were two performances ahead of us, still doing very well and obtaining a high score. They scored 2 points under Marc and Stefanie, which put them in second place for the night. If Kat and I had it our way, they would soon be in third.

We went through our usual routine of picking a hype song. I took the lead again this week, pulling up one of my favorite rock songs, You Shook Me All Night Long. Kat gave me that little smirk that I loved so damn much as she shook her head and laughed at me. I shrugged before transitioning into some of my goofy dance moves - pursing my lips as I wiggled my hips. She joined in of course, laughing at my ridiculousness through the entirety of it.

Before we knew it, it was our turn. Kat took her place in the center of the dance floor. As the music began to play, I walked toward her seductively, caressing her cheek as I circled her before grazing her nose with mine. After fanning her outward, our fast paced choreography synced with the quick beat of the Spanish style guitars. We commanded the attention of the room with our strong staccato footwork and vivacious presence. It was every bit as dramatic as we had intended it to be.

I’ll admit, I was nervous about my solo part. Up until this point, I hadn’t really had choreography this challenging without Kat by my side. The quick and precise body movements along with the flamenco style footwork while trying to exude assertive energy really was a lot of work. However, we only had to do it once. I didn’t have to pace myself for hours of rehearsal time, which meant I put everything I had into it. By the time I reunited with Kat to finish out the last part of the routine, I was feeling pretty damn cocky about the whole thing. The cockiness only added to the overall effect and took the performance over the top.

Kat’s movements were fluid and graceful as she danced around me, waving her flowy skirt. We continued with the stomping footwork, shaping our arms and hands into dramatic poses as we sidestepped each other. The electricity between us was buzzing at max levels as it always did when we performed together. The intensity of her gaze nearly took my breath away the handful of times our eyes connected. We were both in the zone and fucking killing it. We ended with a dramatic lift. I caught her by the hand before she fell back onto the floor for a dip to end it.

I pulled her upward and wrapped my arms around her as the crowd’s near deafening screams and applause sounded around us. I had to fight the urge to crash my lips against hers at that moment. There was so much adrenaline and passion between us that I could have burst into flames from it. I wanted nothing more than to get her home and work some of it off.

We went through the whole routine of doing the interview and waiting for our scores. With massive effort, we managed to keep our hands off each other in any inappropriate way. The whole thing was a blur. I don’t think I paid a lick of attention to anything the judges actually said. All I know is we got another perfect score, putting us in first place - again. To our surprise, we were met with more cheers than usual from the cast. Marc and Stefanie were the loudest among them of course.

Marc and Stefanie invited us out for a celebratory dinner afterwards. I left it up to Kat. She declined, citing how this week had worn her out and she wanted to go home and get some rest before we woke up to do it all over again. They were bummed but understanding. I was a little bummed too, until we walked through the door at my place.

Kat was definitely not as worn out as she let on, dragging me upstairs to the bedroom, peeling clothes off as we went. After a rather passionate round of sex, I made sure to give her a lot of aftercare that included a massage and hot bath while I made her some dinner. She might not have been feeling it right then with the rush of endorphins we both had surging through our veins, but I knew she would be soon. This week had been rough, and I wanted to see to it that she was properly taken care of so that we were ready to take on whatever week 8 had in store for us.

✨Fun Fact: The song that Dieter and Kat are dancing to is this chapter is called Uccen, which translate to "The Wolf". Given that Dieter wears that little wolf ring, I found it fitting.

✨Your Paso Doble video for this chapter can be found HERE. Seriously, one of the best performances ever. It won and Emmy! This couple is married in real life and always burn up the dance floor when they perform.

Next: Week 8

A/N: So, this got posted a couple days later than I had planned. It was a doozy to edit and I'm sure I probably missed a lot. I do apologize but work did indeed kick my ass last week. Hopefully it was worth the wait.

We got lots of smutty goodness in this chapter. I 100% blame Mr. Pascal for his holiday beach antics. There was just too much inspiration. Some of it was planned and some of it wasn't. I'm not sorry.

They've also made some new friends. How are we feeling about Marc and crew? Good or bad?

Dieter has started his Instagram live shit. More to come on that. Also...his Instagram posts, that man is stirring up all the drama with those. Good or bad idea?

Zee got some love in this chapter. I love me some good Dee and Zee drama. They are both shit heads and we love them for that.

There was so much that went down in this chapter that I can't think of what all to highlight. So, please do show some love with a reblog and sound off about it. I wanna hear all the unhinged thoughts!

Week 8 will bring us the Viennese Waltz, and with that comes LOTS of drama. Y'all might want to have a tissue handy, because the shit is going to hit the fan.

Until next time,

💜Mysty

Chapter Credits: - Giving @avastrasposts credit for the SuccDee name. She saw it when I didn't, even though it was right there. -Major credit to @bitchwitch1981 for song inspo. She turned me onto The Devil Wears Lace and All on My Mind.

Taglist: @titlee78 @legendary-pink-dot @survivingandenduring @wannab-urs @harriedandharassed

@hisandsnakes @misstokyo7love @readingiskeepingmegoing @runningmom94 @sin-djarin

@cakipy-blog @missladym1981 @guelyury @weho2kcmo @alokaerza

@girlofchaos @trulybetty @bitchwitch1981 @madnessofadaydreamer

@darkheartgatita @jazzloveslatte @timpletance @musings-of-a-rose @samiamproductions

@myloveistoolittle @for-a-longlongtime @copperhalfcent @auteurdelabre @drewharrisonwriter

@burntheedges @stevie75 @bunniboo0015 @quicax3 @jackie923

@sherala007 @pastelnap @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @jessthebaker @rebel-held

@gwendibleywrites @senorabond @annalovesflorida @sandaltoesocks @katw474

@txlady37 @inkmonster21 @sunnytuliptime @jeewrites

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal characters #dieter bravo #dancing dieter #sober dieter #soft dieter #cat dad dieter #plant dad dieter #slow burn #closed position series

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aventurineswife · 10 hours ago

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Hii! I hope you're having a nice day :D

Can I please request SAHRS being able to listen to Reader simping over them during gameplay? How would they react to their creator swooning over them?

Anyways, remember to drink water and eat something if you haven't yet! I love your writing style <3

My back... 😔🙏

It starts as a normal day. The Museum of Divinity is quiet, the stars shine as usual, and the characters go about their routines.

And then—

"OH MY GOD, LOOK AT THEM. THEY'RE SO FINE."

A pause.

Everyone stops moving.

Wait.

Was that… you?

The divine, all-powerful Creator… SIMPING???

Chaos erupts.

Welt: Drops his pen. Adjusts his glasses like he misheard something.

Himeko: Chokes on her coffee.

Himeko's smirk is IMMEDIATE. "Oh? You have favorites, dear Creator?"

Welt tries to act composed. But his ears are red.

They both pretend to be unaffected, but inside? SCREAMING.

Blade STOPS FUNCTIONING.

"Did… did they just call me fine?"

He won't admit it, but his grip on his sword tightens.

Dan Heng freezes mid-action.

If you’re swooning over him, his face is burning.

If you’re swooning over Blade, he glances at him with mild betrayal.

They don’t speak about it. But they think about it. A lot.

Aventurine? Smug. So smug.

"Well, well, well… seems like our Creator has excellent taste."

Sunday? LIVING FOR IT.

"Oh? You adore me so? Say more, divine one."

Sunday basks in your words. Aventurine teases relentlessly.

If you simp for someone else?

Aventurine: "A shame. You could have had me, dear Painter."

Sunday: "A tragic oversight, truly. But worry not! You may still admire me."

They’re never letting you live this down.

Kafka smirks immediately.

"Oh, how cute. Do go on, dear."

Black Swan tilts her head, thinking deeply.

"A divine being… capable of adoration? Fascinating."

They start analyzing every word.

How often do you compliment them?

Which characters do you favor the most?

What tone do you use? Flustered? Playful? Devoted?

Kafka savors every second.

Black Swan tries to understand why your affection feels so… real.

Luocha bows slightly. "A rare honor to be admired by divinity."

He’s calm outside. Internally? He’s thinking about it too much.

Jing Yuan chuckles. "You wound me, dear Creator. I had no idea you held such affections."

Lazy smirk, but his heart skips a beat.

If you simp for someone else?

Jing Yuan: "Truly a shame. I thought I was the favorite."

Luocha: "Ah… I see. A tragic fate, indeed."

They’re too smooth about it, but deep down? They’re blushing.

March 7th: SHRIEKS.

"OMG, SAME."

Sparkle: LOSES HER MIND.

"Finally! The Creator speaks the truth!"

They immediately gossip.

If you simp for Jing Yuan? → "I KNEW HE WAS A CREATOR FAVORITE!"

If you simp for Blade? → "Oooo, the dark and broody type, huh?"

They’re so entertained by your reactions. They start listening in more often.

EVERYONE starts listening more carefully.

Characters start acting up more in battle, hoping you’ll say something again.

Some get competitive. ("You called THEM fine? What about me?")

Some get smug. ("You’re completely obsessed with me, aren’t you?")

Some get flustered and pretend they didn’t hear it.

No matter what—

You can NEVER take it back.

Okay guys, no more SAHSRAU anymore. It was fun knowing everyone of you. We shall meet next year 🥰💖

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waynes-multiverse · 2 days ago

Text

The Exit Strategy – Part 4

Summary: Russell is ready to hang it all up and retire, open up a brewery, and enjoy the rest of his civilian life. However, there’s one important thing missing before he can take the big plunge. Luckily, he knows just the right person to help him find it.

Pairing: Russell Shaw x Female!Reader

Warnings: 18+, language, fluff, some angst & feels, family secrets, spy stuff, a bit of spiciness

Word Count: 6.5k

A/N: Welcome back, friends! We're diving a bit into Shaw family secrets this week – fully Wayne's version, though. While I did read the books, there's no major spoilers**, so don't you worry. I just played with an idea here 🤓 I also won't be fully diving into the Shaw family life, but some things are heavily hinted to be... fishy here 👀 Enjoy & let me know what you think! 🤍

**There's a small part where Russell tells Colter about their parents. It's mentioned in the books that their mother was a psychiatrist. I took that and ran with it 🤷‍♀️

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Part 4: This Is Not an Exit

“You’ve been walking down memory lane a lot tonight,” you teased with a nudge of his ribs, still tightly cuddled in his warm embrace in the freezing basement.

“Haven’t you?”

“No, I have,” you admitted with a melancholic sigh. “Maybe we should stop dwelling on the past so much. Think more about the future…”

Russell scoffed a small chuckle. “Dory said something similar not that long ago. Actually the reason why I came here.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he sighed, his fingers absently drawing circles on your arm. “I think it’s time we retire, sweetheart. I mean, after everything we’ve been through, I think we deserve to, right? You know, sometimes I wake up in the morning, and I’m surprised we’re even still here, considering how many war zones we’ve been in.”

“Well, you know what they say – beware the old soldier because he’s old for a reason,” you said with a smile.

“Yeah, think I might be getting a little too old…” Russell chucked lightly, running a hand through his long hair. “So? What d’you think? One last hurrah, and then we hang this up? I was thinking maybe we could open up a brewery, you know? A family place. Bet the kids would love it.”

“Sounds nice,” you said with a yearning smile. You wanted all of that and more. “I’d love to retire with you.”

“But?”

You laughed slightly at his anticipating look. “But I don’t think you can yet.”

His eyebrows drew together till they met above the bridge of his freckled nose. “What d’you mean? I just told you I’m ready.”

“You say you are, but you aren’t,” you replied like the annoying Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland. “Have you solved the murder yet?”

Russell licked his lips, which was his telltale sign that you caught him there. After all, you knew him better than anyone in this world – knowing when he needed to be pushed and shoved was part of it.

“No, but I don’t need to anymore. Look, the only reason I wanted to solve it was because I thought I had to prove my innocence to Colter. And well, turns out I didn’t. He believed me anyways, so…”

“That wasn’t the only reason,” you reminded him with a scrutinizing look.

“Maybe, but like I said – Dory thinks we should keep all this bullshit in the past, and after the last three years, I’m starting to agree with her,” Russell said, dragging a hand over his face.

“Look, if that’s what you want–”

“It’s what I want,” he assured you and placed a hand on your thigh, gently squeezing it. “Having my little brother and sister back is enough. I don’t need more. Nothing good ever comes from being greedy.”

You nodded in understanding, clearing your throat. “Still, in the name of our deal to always be honest, I kinda have to confess something.”

Rising from your seat, you dusted off your awful, flowery skirt and wandered to the wall safe once more, retrieving a thick folder from it. You took your place next to Russell again, his questioning eyes meeting yours as you handed him your research.

“When you didn’t come back after a year or so, I started looking into it as well. Might have done a full deep-dive,” you admitted with a bite of your lip.

Russell shot you a chiding look, shaking his head, but most of all, he was worried. “I told you to leave it alone. You don’t know what sorta people we’re dealing with here, but we do know they’re dangerous.”

“I know. I just wanted to help. Figured I could speed it along. I do have more access than you,” you countered softly. “I’m sorry, okay? But I was careful. I promise.”

“Good,” he said and looked at you, interlacing your fingers with his. “‘Cause the last thing I want is losing you over this bullshit, too.”

Nodding, you squeezed his hand in reassurance. “There’s something you should know, though.” He raised his brow anew – you’d always been full of surprises. Life certainly had never been boring. “Someone accessed the files after me.”

“Who?”

“I don’t know. Definitely had a higher clearance than me, though,” you replied.

Russell threw his arms up, and you could see he was getting more upset again. “See? This is what I’m talking about! The whole point of us separating was to keep you and the kids away from it. Otherwise, we could’ve just stayed together, and I could’ve joined Horizon anyways.”

“I know that, too,” you said remorsefully. “But don’t worry. I wasn’t followed, and no one ever came after me. I made sure of it. It’s been two years now. They probably figured it was nothing after I didn’t reach out to you straight away.”

“Still… I don’t want you involved, alright?”

“What about Colter? Doesn’t he want to know? He doesn’t strike me as someone who just lets things go,” you noted observantly.

Russell clicked his tongue – a sign of defeat. “He isn’t, but he’s not gonna find anything either. I mean, the only reason I know is because you were so relentless and kept digging.”

“You haven’t told him what we found out?”

Russell licked his lips and admitted quietly, “No. I don’t think it does anyone any good to keep looking into this.”

Leaning forward and hugging your knees, your head bobbed pensively. “I thought you guys talked about what happened?”

“We did. Kinda… It’s complicated,” he stated, swallowing. “Dory was easy, you know? I guess she never really believed it… But it took a while till Colter even picked up the phone, let alone answered a goddamn text message. Had to get a little annoying.”

You smirked. “Well, you’re good at that. That’s how you won me over.”

“By being persistent?”

“Exactly. Like a tardigrade.” You grinned. “I mean, you kind of are doing it now again, too.”

He chuckled quietly. “Yeah, guess so.”

“Is that why you haven’t told him about me and the kids? Because you’re not sure about him yet?”

“Partially, yeah,” he admitted. “I guess I wanted to protect you. And maybe myself a little, too… Not sure I’m ready for those two worlds to meet yet, you know? I mean, you and the kids are the best things that ever happened to me, and when I look at Colter or Dory, I’m sometimes reminded of the worst things in my life.”

“What about your mother?”

Russell let out an exhaustive sigh that was half amused. “Geez, you haven’t changed a bit. You still ask the most uncomfortable questions possible.”

You laughed a little. “Gathering intelligence in uncomfortable ways is kind of my job, Shaw.”

“Yup, and no one’s better at it than you, sweetheart,” Russell quipped.

“So I’m guessing it’s a no on Mommie Dearest?”

Russell licked his lips, shaking his head. “I don’t wanna see her. Mostly because I don’t even know what to fucking say anymore,” he said. “I don’t want her to meet the kids either.”

“It’s okay,” you assured him and took his hand in yours. “It’s your choice, Russ. We go at your pace, alright?”

“Thank you.” Russell brought your intertwined hands to his lips, kissing the back of your hand before he looked at you deeply, a smile dancing across his plump lips. “I love you.”

You mirrored his smile, your heart fluttering like a wild butterfly in your chest. “I love you, too.”

“I’ll tell them – Dory and Colter. I want this to work,” he promised. “Just… after we finish this. I want him to have a clear head. I prefer not to get him killed, you know?”

“I get it. I thought the same thing when I first met you, too,” you joked, patting his chest. “But you brought him into this. It’s kinda on you.”

Russell scratched his bearded chin. “Yeah, but I didn’t exactly know what I’d bring him into.”

“Didn’t you, though?”

Amused, Russell bobbed his head. “Yeah, maybe I did,” he acknowledged. “You know, when Manny called me–”

Your eyes widened. “Manny called you?”

Russell blinked at you, brow creased in confusion. “Yeah, why?”

“That motherfucker…”

Furiously, you stomped to the desk and grabbed the radio. “Drone-5. This is Queen Bee-1. Report to Hive.”

The static of the radio cracked almost instantly, as if the idiot had been waiting all night for this call. “Yo, Queen Bee-1. How’s my boy?” Manny’s laugh echoed through the basement.

Russell’s glowing cheeks reached his eyes when he heard his friend’s voice. He’d known the guy almost as long as Doug.

“You’re the one who fucking told him?!” you yelled into the radio, almost crushing the device in your hand.

“To be fair, I told him not to engage with tango,” Manny sheepishly replied.

“Ha-ha, funny. Fuck you,” you huffed and tossed Russ the walkie-talkie. He caught it with one hand.

His boyish grin widened as he pushed the button. “You know, Drone-5, you could’ve told me you were actually working this thing.”

“Aw, you know I can’t do that. But I guess congrats on crashing another operation. You’re Worker Bee-3 now. Old habits die hard, huh?” Manny chuckled.

“Yeah, I guess…” Russell replied with a lighthearted chuckle, but his teeth tugged pensively at his lips.

“Great to have you back, brother. Hope this works out for you. See you on the other side, man. Oh, and could you move like three feet to the left and turn the washer off? We can barely hear and see you guys, and Drone-2 just ran out to grab popco–”

“No, absolutely not. Out,” you snapped as you grabbed the radio from Russ. He laughed as you put it furiously back on the desk. You knew what you had signed up for, but you still deserved some privacy. Annoyed, you took off your cross necklace – another bug – and settled down beside him again.

“What did he say when he called you?”

“Nothing much, really. Just told me your coordinates and that you like to pick up your mail at three o’clock at the local post office,” Russell replied.

You shook your head, smiling. “Well, he always loved you, so…” You started to chew on your lower lip, the anxiety in your belly returning. For the sake of your mind and heart, you had to make sure Russell was fully back, and this wasn’t just a fluke. “You know, I worry sometimes that if you don’t face this thing with your family, you’ll always feel this way. I mean, after Lewis was born–”

“I know.” Russell nodded, swallowing thickly. He saw the worry shimmering in your eyes, and it cracked his heart a little. “I know I kinda lost it there. Took me by surprise, too. Trust me. Figured I had dealt with all that shit already, you know? But I guess seeing you with him and feeling all that love myself, I just-… I don’t know. I don’t know how she could do it… Ashton was one thing, but she just stood by. And I don’t even know what the hell she was up to while he took us out into those woods…” He shook his head as if to rattle the answer out of his brain. “And then when we found out you were pregnant again… I mean, I’d barely held it together with Lewis. Everything just became a blur. I couldn’t think straight anymore, and I worried all the time I’d be like them…”

“I tried to help,” you said softly.

“I know you did. Guess this was just something I had to figure out on my own,” he replied with a beat shrug.

“How’s your vision now? Still blurry?”

“Clearer than ever.” A smile flickered alive on his lips, green eyes boring into yours as he leaned in and kissed you slowly like he meant every word. Blowing a raspberry, he then turned his attention to the file in his lap. “So, what am I gonna find in there?”

“Honestly, nothing we haven’t already puzzled together,” you replied, teeth gnawing on your bottom lip. “But I found a couple of names associated with your parents. Thought maybe you could look at them and see if you recognize the person you saw in the woods.”

“I already know where this is going…”

“Russ, please, just–”

Russell interrupted you, placing a soothing palm on your thigh that curbed your enthusiasm. “I’ll think about it, alright?”

Satisfied, you raised two placating hands. “All I was asking…”

“How was the lasagna?”

After four hours in the basement, you and Russell quietly treaded up the stairs a few minutes after midnight, finding Colter in the kitchen, eating leftovers out of the ceramic form in the warm glow of the stove light. Tom, on the other hand, had passed out on the couch, only the blue flickers of the TV and the soft noises of a peaceful nature documentary filling the silence of the dark living room.

“Excellent,” Colter stated, swallowing down a mouthful of lasagna before speaking. “I told Tom he should be a chef in a restaurant or something.”

Russell’s brow knitted in doubt. “Really? Lemme try.”

“You just ate two entire bags of junk. You can’t still be hungry,” you argued with a giggle, shaking your head.

“It’s lasagna,” Russell said simply, grabbed a fork from the drawer, and dove right in.

That man would eat anything. You’d seen him do it, too. He didn’t even go hungry when he was lost in a desert.

“Wow, that is good,” Russell announced his judgement with a full mouth. “Maybe we should hire Tom for the brewery, huh?”

“I’m guessing this means you two talked?” Colter asked with a carefully arched brow.

“Hmm. I don’t know,” Russell mused in jest. “What d’you say, sweetheart? You taking me back?”

You rolled your eyes at his antics. “Guess I have to. God knows returning you is impossible.”

Russell laughed and slung an arm around your waist, pulling you closer. He kissed your temple.

But then you noticed Colter’s smile falter, his brows creasing in question. “Is your hair different?”

“Shit!”

Wide-eyed, you bolted back down the creaking stairs to the basement, hearing Russell’s laughter fill the kitchen.

“Was she wearing a wig? And her eyes too, right?” Puzzled, Colter tried to piece it all together. He had already figured by your extensive vocabulary of swear words that you might be a better match for his older brother than he had initially surmised.

“Yup, all fake, man,” Russell confirmed and smirked. “Still think she’s not my type yet?”

“No, I can see it now,” Colter admitted, chuckling. “So, you guys are good?”

“Yeah, I think so.” Russell nodded and shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket, swallowing.

Colter’s smile widened, filling the older Shaw’s stomach with more guilt. “That’s great. Happy for you, man. Guess that means you’re retiring now, huh?”

Russell scratched the back of his neck. “Uh, we’ll see. Always depends on what the wife decides, you know?”

Yup, he sprinkled that important bit of information into a joke. Then, he watched his little brother take a stumped step back, brow furrowing and unfurrowing and then furrowing again.

“Wha-, wife?”

Russell produced a popping sound with his lips like the noise of a bottle when the cork was pulled. Welp, this bottle was surely open now.

“Yup, got married in Thailand in 2011,” he added another helpful tidbit of information, but Colter’s jaw dislodged all the same.

“Alright, got this all figured out,” you said, sauntering back into the kitchen with a pastel pink towel wrapped around your head and a matching bathrobe. You’d just grabbed them from the dryer, the fluffy material still cozily warm. It was the best option, considering you didn’t want to mess around with your wig as well after popping the lenses back in had already cost you most of your patience. In your little bubble of bliss, you hadn’t instantly noticed the brothers staring at you. But once you did, your brows morphed into a frown. “What’s going on?”

“You two are married?” Colter asked, a pointed finger flicking from Russell to you.

You threw your arms up, looking at your husband. “I was gone for five minutes! What happened to telling him after the operation?”

Russell offered you a sheepish shrug. “Well, this old soldier’s getting weak too, apparently.”

“He said it like a joke…” Colter mumbled, still in the middle of processing this new revelation. His older, estranged-but-now-less-strange brother had a wife. A family. Friends. And he knew none of it. What else was there? Kids?

“Yeah, he does that...” You shot your husband a scolding sideways look. “Should I leave you two alone for this?” you then offered, hoping the answer was a goddamn yes.

“Why would you? You’re family, right?” Colter retorted with a dry smile and a sharp look.

You pursed your lips. While you could see some similarities between the brothers, you took note of one big difference: Russell wasn’t as sarcastic and sharp-tongued. Probably because Russell had always been more concerned with what he should, would, or could share with people in an overthinking loop, while his younger brother seemed obviously free of that burden.

“Don’t take it out on her,” Russell stepped in gently, which really was a warning. “She didn’t know about any of this. Kinda pushed her into it.”

“Seems to be your style,” Colter scoffed.

“Can’t work for the CIA without going through a baptism of fire, little brother,” Russell said simply, giving an unapologetic shrug of his shoulders.

“Why would you not tell me?” Colter stared at him, his look a mix of reproach and agitation.

“Look, you weren’t exactly welcoming during our first meeting,” Russell argued with a bit of bark in his deep voice, although confrontation was probably not the best approach. But why should he always have to take the blame for everything? He’d already done that for more than two decades.

“That was months ago,” Colter countered, scowling. “I’d like to think I’ve come around since then… Coulda told me after we saved Doug.”

Russell let out a small sigh of defeat, rolling his eyes back slightly. He rubbed the bridge of his nose. “No, yeah, you’re right. I’m sorry, man, alright?” he apologized earnestly.

With a questioning brow, you carefully nudged your husband’s arm. “What happened to Doug? Is he alright?”

“Yeah, uh, he went to work for Horizon with me. I’ll tell you later, okay?” Russell replied, his voice a lot quieter as if sharing a secret, and if Horizon was involved he probably was.

“Is Tracy okay?”

“She’s fine. Little shook up. You should probably give her a call. Smooth things out,” Russell told you.

Tracy thought you worked in marketing at some company for the government. Whenever you, Russell, and Doug were stuck on a mission, the boys made you call her to “smooth things out” – aka reassuring her everything was certainly fine with her husband and he wasn't in any danger at all. They’d once made you call her from a Black Hawk. The noise had been fun to explain away – you’d told her you were picking up a client from a helicopter pad.

Colter chewed on the insides of his cheeks. “So she knows Doug, too?”

Russell nodded. “Yeah, me and Doug were mostly Delta, but SAD liked to borrow us from time to time. We ran in her team for quite a while. She was actually the one who recruited me.”

At his little wink your way, you smiled. He’d come along way from the sweet boy you had once teased like a special-forces-trained kindergartner.

“Listen, things were obviously a little complicated between me and her the last few years,” Russell (under)stated. “But I’ve brought you here for a reason, okay? Figured it’s time you meet your sister-in-law.”

Eyes drifting from you to Russell, Colter pursed his lips – a tell he shared with his brother.

“Are you mad? I can’t tell.” Frowning, Russell tilted his head.

“No,” you absentmindedly replied for Colter, who gave you a curious look but steered his attention back to Russell.

“No,” the younger Shaw repeated your assumption. “I mean, not more than I was before, you know?”

Russell’s creases only deepened. “No, I don’t know.”

“He means he’s indifferent about knowing or not knowing we’re married because he’s already pissed about not knowing about my existence in general,” you explained.

“Ah. Your nerd is showing, sweetheart,” Russell teased you with a smile that made your heart melt.

“Dory would like her,” Colter commented like the thought had just popped into his head – something else he didn’t share with his brother.

You’d always wondered about the youngest Shaw of the three. Russell could never tell you much about Dory. His memory had been one of a smart and feisty nine-year-old, not a young woman and physics professor.

Thumbing at you, Russell cocked a brow at his brother. “Is she right, though?”

“Spot on, actually.” Colter’s tongue poked his cheek, his gaze flickering with a hint of astonishment and new-found respect for you. “And I guess I’m not really mad either way. Just… surprising, you know? I should’ve asked. That’s on me.”

Russell seemed more than a little baffled to hear this, considering he had to pause to find an appropriate response. “No, uh, we’re good. I could’ve just told you, anyways.”

“Yeah, no, that’s alright.” Colter swallowed, sending his older brother a smile of forgiveness. “Honestly, I was glad to hear you weren’t alone all this time, so…”

Russell’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he pushed down the lump in his throat. With a nod, he averted his green eyes to the kitchen floor. “Thanks, man. Appreciate it.”

“Aw, aren’t you guys adorable,” you teased.

Colter wanted to retort something dry-witted, but Russell held up a warning finger. “Ah – wait for it… Trust me. She’s not done.”

“You girls need tissues or a tampon, maybe?”

“Oh, Dory would definitely like her,” Colter repeated his earlier statement with an amused grin.

Russell, on the other hand, shot you a pointed look, but that had barely ever stopped you before. “Okay, you can lay down. You don’t have to give him the initiation. No hazing my little brother,” he ordered you sternly, and you stifled a snort. “And no one better kidnaps him tonight and puts a bag over his head, alright? I don’t wanna pick him up beaten and bloody from some warehouse tomorrow morning.”

“Hm, what?” Colter’s brow furrowed. For the first time, you could see slight panic spread in his pupils.

Who was hazing who now?

You rolled your eyes in feigned annoyance. “Fine, we’ll leave him alone,” you acted your capitulation.

The younger Shaw blinked at you. “Thank you?”

“Should we at least tell him about the other thing while we’re at it?” you asked Russell with a suggestive look.

Thoughtfully, he paused for a beat, then clicked his tongue. “No, I got it from here. It’s getting late. We’ve been here long enough,” he decided. “This is less becoming a friendly ‘welcome-to -the-neighborhood’ dinner and more starting to look like an orgy to the neighbors. Especially since you’ve put on the robe.”

“It just came from the dryer. Look, it’s so soft and warm,” you argued, pouting, your palms caressing the fluffy material on your arms.

“Uh-huh.”

The little bob of his Adam’s apple made you grin slyly. The way his jaw ticked and his pupils widened with a primal hunger, you could tell he wanted to tear that robe right off of you. The thought caused a shudder to run down your spine.

“What, uh, other thing do you have to tell me?” Colter asked and smiled expectantly, tapping his fingers on the the counter.

Russell, however, grabbed his arm and dragged his curious little brother toward the exit. “I’ll tell you in the car,” he said and thumbed to the front door behind his shoulder. “Wait outside. Gimme five minutes, alright?”

Wordlessly, Colter nodded without argument, gave you a quick goodbye-wave of his hand, and strolled leisurely back to his car as if he knew exactly what his older brother intended to do.

As expected, Russell impatiently conquered your lips, roughly pressing you against the foyer’s wall, your arms draping around his neck.

“What’s the bedroom situation in this place?” he asked between kisses.

“First floor, west side, third window from the right. I’ll leave it unlatched,” you replied, smiling against his lips. “Tom’s always sleeping on the couch. Part of our cover is going to marriage counseling with Pastor Jeff, which happens to work out great for us.”

You exhaled a shuddered breath when one of his hands wandered past the robe and splayed warm against your ribcage, just underneath your breast. His thumb fought an itch to get closer.

“Wouldn’t do that, baby,” you murmured into his ear with an amused smirk. “That boner’s not gonna go away in five minutes.”

“Mmm, I know,” he groaned and dropped his head between your boobs, lips pressing a chaste kiss to your collarbone. If he continued on with this, your arousal would surely streak down your bare thighs soon. Luckily, he had mercy on the both of you. “I’ll talk to him and then come back, okay?”

You nodded with a smile. He kissed your lips, then your forehead, and then disappeared through the door with the same cometary velocity he had entered your vision.

And all you could do was hope you’d see him one more time in your life.

“So?”

4.3 seconds after Colter killed the engine of his pickup in a spot a block away to the west side of your house – as per Russell’s very specific instruction – he stared scrutinizingly at his older brother.

Impatience was also a family trait – one even their father had despised.

“Look, uhm, there’s no easy way to break the news…”

“Is this about you having two kids?”

When Russell’s eyes met Colter’s, he didn’t recognize any anger, hurt or resentment in them – just pure slyness. At least that was good news. His little brother was just going to be annoying about this whole thing.

“Yeah, remember those five minutes you left me alone in the car? I called Bobby. Had him check some things out for me. Wasn’t easy to find. I’ll give you that…”

As expected, Colter was going to be a smartass about it. He figured it out on his own. He won the game.

“Hmm.” Russell pursed his lips, nodding. “You do know the CIA is on your guy’s ass now, right? Shouldn’t have done it in their perimeter, man. Manny’s probably all over this by now…”

Then his brow knit as if the thought of his old friend had provoked an idea, his head tilting with narrowed eyes at the air vents on the dashboard. How long had that car been parked outside and out of sight again?

Like a game of Operation, Russell then used thumb and pointer finger as his tweezers to retrieve a tiny bug – the spy kind.

“Gotcha,” Russell muttered, smirking. He then held the bug close to the speakers of the radio before turning up the volume to its highest setting – only for a second. He switched the radio off, rolled down the window, and threw the unwanted listening device onto the pavement. “That should teach ‘em a lesson…”

Colter cocked an incredulous brow at his brother. “They bugged my car?”

“Oh, trust me, they bug anything they can get their greedy little hands on,” Russell retorted. “Would probably check for a tracker underneath, too.”

“Great, thanks,” Colter huffed wryly.

“Hey, you wanted in. That’s what they do,” Russell reminded him, shrugging, but there was a smile of amusement on his lips.

Colter only bobbed his head. “So, you and her? You guys are good now? Just like that? Seemed… easy. Sorta…”

Russell chuckled lightly, brushing a hand through his beard. He knew his relationship with you was unconventional, but it had always worked for you and him.

“Me and Y/N have a deal, you know? It’s not all black and white. I mean, we became aware a long time ago that the two of us operate in a lot of gray zones. But, uh, we always know we can rely on each other, you know? Doesn’t matter if we’ve been separated by time or space,” Russell explained to the best of his abilities.

“So what happened?” Colter prompted with the same amount of confusion. “Why did you guys split up? I saw on the birth certificate your daughter was only two years old. I mean, did you-… did you even know?”

Russell inhaled deeply, nodding. “I knew she was pregnant. When she told me back then, I-…” He paused, licking his lips. It wasn’t something he had ever talked about with anyone before – not even you. “Well, shortly after that, I had a breakdown and I-… I almost hurt her.” He choked on the words, fighting the sting in his eyes.

He’d tried so hard to forget, wasn’t even sure he had ever really apologized for it to you because he so badly didn’t want it to exist that he’d tried to wish it out of literal existence, and hence, never really blamed you for leaving like you did. He understood. In fact, he had even wished you’d leave. He had convinced himself you’d be better off without him – something he still believed to be true – but he also knew he wasn’t better off without you.

He’d been lost and alone. And maybe, he was being selfish by crashing back into your life now. Or Dory’s. And Colter’s.

“I mean, nothing ever really bad happened. It’s just-… That night I came scarily close,” Russell confessed, swallowing thickly. He still hated himself for that night and everything that followed. “It’s like a switch flipped, you know? I couldn’t do anything against it… And Lewis saw parts of it, and I was already impatient with him and short with her the weeks before, so I just left that night and disappeared for two months. Volunteered for some mission. Figured it was best for everybody.”

It’s better off if he never comes back…

Russell licked his chapped lips. The next part was the hardest.

“When I got back, she told me she got a job offer in another country, and that she would be taking it and taking Lewis with her. She wanted me to use the time to… I don’t know… solve this, I guess.” He let out a humorless scoff at the painful memory.

Russell hadn’t seen it at first, maybe because he hadn’t wanted to, his anger and pain blurring the truth. After his son had been born, Russell knew you could see him struggling, so you started digging deeper into his family and what really happened. And when you’d found something – Horizon – you’d told him you could infiltrate. Naturally, Russell had passed a hard no – it had been a five-hour long fight, but he'd emerged victoriously by the end. So, you’d told him he should do it, but he didn’t want to leave you, and he didn’t want to endanger and jeopardize his family.

He’d told he was fine, but he wasn’t. It kept gnawing on him – and gnawing and gnawing and gnawing… till you eventually pulled the plug and ended his suffering.

“I was exhausted, so I told her we’d talk about it in the morning. When I woke up, they were gone. Didn’t even notice she’d already packed.”

Colter was silent for a beat. “Was it PTSD or something?”

“Or somethin’,” replied Russell.

“But you’re good now?” Colter checked with a warily raised brow.

“Guess so…”

Truthfully, Russell didn’t know if he was or wasn’t. He’d tried hard to figure out what it was exactly that had set him off that night and fix it, but he didn’t know if that feeling would ever disappear for good. He just knew he had never felt that way again since then. But could he guarantee it would never come back?

He didn’t know.

“Look, all I know is, seeing you and Dory again helped, so…” Russell twitched his shoulders and sighed. He didn’t know what else to say, how to explain it better, but Colter seemed to understand anyway, reading between the lines.

Russell worried he’d be like their father.

“I think I get it.” The younger Shaw nodded and licked his lips. “You know, you’re not crazy like Dad was, Russ. I mean, don’t get me wrong, you’re crazy in your own way, but I wouldn’t worry about the other stuff.”

“Well, thanks,” Russell said, not convinced but appreciative of the vote of confidence. “Makes at least one of us…”

“I-, uh, I noticed their names,” Colter then said and clarified, “Lewis and Amelia. Like explorers. Like us.”

“Ah.” Russell smacked his lips and brushed it off, “Wasn’t really my idea. I told Y/N that story once. Guess she took a liking to it..”

“Are you, you know, gonna tell Mom?”

Russell was almost surprised by the question. The brothers had barely talked about their mother since they’d reconnected. Considering Colter had never brought her up again after their first meeting, Russell figured there was a reason for that – and he thought he probably knew the reason, too.

Russell scoffed a chuckle and looked at his little brother with an almost incredulous look. “I think you can guess the answer to that one,” he replied and figured it said enough. “Did you tell her I came back?”

Colter pursed his lips, and Russell took it as a sign of admission. So his mother knew. Great…

“Sorta,” Colter admitted hesitantly.

“What d’she say?” Russell almost smiled out of amusement. He already knew the answer, but his brother still seemed reluctant. “C’mon, you can tell me. I’m not gonna be butthurt after twenty years…”

“She told me to ignore you,” Colter finally confessed, but the words left a bitter taste in his mouth. They had ever since his mother said them, but even more so now that he knew his brother – and parts of the truth.

“Hmm,” Russell hummed with tight lips and ground his jaw.

Granted, the confession stung more than Russell would ever be willing to admit. The tiny, naive part inside of him had constructed a hopeless fantasy of his mother having a sudden change of heart over the last two decades and happily welcoming her firstborn back. Apparently, not a thing had changed, though, and he cursed himself for feeling disheartened.

“But I actually haven’t talked to her in a while now,” Colter added with a small shrug, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel.

“Huh, really?”

“Yeah, uh, and when I did, I didn’t exactly tell her I didn’t take her advice, you know? So…”

“Why not?” Russell’s brow furrowed a little more as he analyzed each word, simultaneously realizing why he had been so reluctant to share his life with Colter before – his subconscious had been afraid his alienated little brother would report back to the mothership.

Colter’s lips pursed. “Because I disagree.”

“Ah.”

Colter chewed on his lower lip. “Look, I know you and Dory wanna keep all of this in the past and play family – and trust me, I want that too,” he assured, but his heart was beating fast in his chest. “But I need to know, man. I need to know why she lied about this for twenty years and, you know, did all of this,” he insisted, and yet, Russell could tell he wasn’t done. He might have broken the dam. “She did it to you. I mean, aren’t you mad?”

“Of course I’m mad,” the older Shaw admitted, but there was no fire behind his words.

“Then why are you so calm?”

Amused, Russell chuckled, shrugging. “Probably ‘cause I’ve been dealing with this a lot longer than you, little brother.”

“So, what are we gonna do now?”

“We ain’t gonna do anything,” Russell clarified, his voice stern. He’d die to protect his family, you and the kids, and do anything in his power to keep you out of it, but Colter was a grown-up – a free agent. If he didn’t want to listen, Russell couldn’t force him. “Look, you wanna find out, you go find out. And if you do find something and need help, you call. But I can’t be involved in this,” he explained, his firm expression morphing into something more vulnerable and sincere. “And frankly, I don’t care that much. You, me, Dory, Y/N, the kids – that’s all that matters, trust me. You’re not gonna feel better or more… whole after finding those answers.”

“How do you know? Do you know what really happened?” Colter instantly asked, and Russell knew in that moment, it’d be hopeless. His brother wouldn’t stop till he found it – forever restless.

“No, I told you. I don’t,” Russell repeated, and while he didn’t know everything, he omitted that he knew something.

“What about Y/N?”

Russell froze at the bare mention of your name, his protective instincts kicking in. “Leave her out of this,” he all but snarled.

But Colter didn’t think about stopping. “Did you ever ask her? I mean, she’s CIA. She could probably find out something, right?”

“Yeah, I asked her once, alright? Was a long time ago,” Russell admitted, sighing. The intended lie would stick better if there was some truth to it – you had taught him that.

“C’mon, Russ… And?” Colter impatiently threw his arms up, brow raising higher and higher as he waited for an answer.

“She never found anything,” Russell said with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders.

This time, it wasn’t just an omission. It was a blatant lie.

“I think whatever Dad was involved in – or both of ‘em – was just some activist shit. I don’t think the government cares.” Lie. “We both know he had a mental thing. Paranoid, probably schizophrenic… I mean, Mom used to pump him full of meds sometimes when he got too out of hand.” Truth. He then stole a glance at his little brother and saw the confusion shimmering on his face. Russell scoffed. “You didn’t know that, did you?”

Quietly, Colter shook his head.

“Well, you were a kid,” Russell said and hoped it would curb the blow slightly, although he knew better than that. “He always took something as far back as I can remember. She used to prepare his pills every evening after you and Dory went to bed. But when we moved to the cabin, he started refusing to take them. Said they made him ‘not clear-headed enough.’ Kinda ironic,” he shared and snorted. “When it got too bad, though, she’d still crush ‘em into his food.”

Colter took everything in with a nod but didn’t say anything more.

“You good over there?” Russell checked after a full minute had passed.

“Yeah,” Colter said and even tried to form a reassuring smile before the attempt failed. Instead, he swallowed. “Just a lot, you know? I didn’t know. I mean, I had some idea, but not-… not that.”

“Yeah, I figured,” Russell said, his voice almost a whisper in the silence of the night. “Like I said, you were a kid…”

When Russell finally left the car to sneak back to you, his shoulders felt a little lighter and his heart a little calmer. He might just float through that unlatched window tonight.

The bad news was, though, he might not be able to retire just yet.

Part 5: This Is a Start – FEBRUARY 7

Honestly, I should've called this chapter "Heart-to-Heart Part II" 😂 I'll see you for the finale next week, but as you know, it's not the end for them – only just the beginning 😉

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