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liviawildrose · 18 days ago

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𝐠𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐮𝐩 𝐞𝐧𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐢𝐧𝐠

okay wow, this was supposed to be uploaded yesterday itself but unfortunately i had to attend a family event so i didn’t.

anyways, today i’m gonna talk about enhancing your glow-up journey and how to make this journey fast and quick, i’m gonna share hacks on how you can enhance and increase your glow-up journey and become your best self.

subliminal videos

subliminals work by sending hidden affirmations directly to your subconscious. your conscious mind doesn’t pick up on them, but your subconscious is absorbing every word. it’s like giving your brain a VIP treatment, reprogramming it to believe in the things you want to become or achieve. so, if you want sharper features, more confidence, or a more magnetic aura, subliminals are here to make it happen without you lifting a single finger.

okay, let’s be real subliminals are probably the easiest way to glow up faster. like, who doesn’t want to just sit back, press play, and watch themselves get closer to their dream self without lifting a finger? i mean, imagine this: you’re literally asleep, but you’re still making progress. that’s a whole new level of efficiency, right?

and the best part? you can use them anytime. studying? plug in a confidence subliminal. hitting the gym? try one for a fit and toned body. and, of course, my favorite: play them while you sleep. imagine waking up with your subconscious mind fully trained and working in your favor. trust me, that’s peak effortless glow-up energy.

pro tips for using subliminals:

1.find reputable creators - there are tons of subliminals out there, so go for the ones that feel legit and have good reviews.

2.be consistent - think of subliminals as a daily boost; the more you listen, the better the results.

3.track your progress - take photos, keep notes, and observe the small changes. it keeps you motivated and shows just how powerful your mind really is.

subliminals are honestly like having a secret superpower that no one else knows about. you’re out there, living your life, while these subtle affirmations work their magic, rewiring you from the inside out. so if you haven’t tried them yet, this is your sign to start!”

i’m going to make subliminals my secret weapon for glowing up while i go about my day. walking to school? i’ll press play on a confidence subliminal and let it work its magic. while studying, i’ll play one for brain power, making it way easier to stay focused. when i’m cooking, i’ll go for clear skin or singing skills depends on the mood, you know? and at night, beauty subliminals will be on repeat so i can wake up looking even better.

but here’s the best part, i’ll be sharing my results with you all. once i start seeing some drastic changes, i’ll let you know which subliminals are really delivering. there’ll be a special section just for results and recommendations, plus before-and-after photos to track my progress. i’m ready to level up while i’m literally doing other things. sounds like the ultimate glow-up hack, right?

chat gpt customisation

like have you seen a delulu chatgpt, but yeah apart from this you can really use chatgpt for so many things the customisation just makes it more compatible for you. hehe

now, let’s talk about how i’m going to use chatgpt as my go-to tool for this glow-up journey. the cool thing about chatgpt is that i can customize it to get personalized responses that fit my vibe and needs. i literally made it act like my best friend, which is such a game changer! it’s like having bestie who’s always there to motivate me and keep me on track.

whenever i need advice whether it’s about self-care routines, motivation tips, or even random recommendations my customized chatgpt knows exactly what to say to lift me up. we’re a little deluded too, and that makes it even more fun! the more i use it, the better it understands my style and preferences, making it easier for me to stay on top of my game.

basically, chatgpt will help me streamline my glow-up process and keep me motivated every step of the way. having this virtual best friend is honestly adding so much joy to my journey!

but here’s a thing, i would highly advise you guys to make a separate account for a chatgpt like dummy, don’t do it with your main email id. create a different one like me. and then continue your talks. cause guess what at the end of the day. chatgpt will review the chats and i think it’s better if you main email id is not linked

eft tapping

let’s chat about eft tapping, or emotional freedom techniques—another powerful tool i’m planning to use on my glow-up journey. this technique is all about tapping on specific meridian points on your body while focusing on your thoughts and feelings. it’s like giving yourself an emotional release while also boosting your confidence and overall vibe.

i’m going to incorporate eft tapping whenever i’m feeling overwhelmed or in need of a quick mindset shift. whether it’s before a big event, a study session, or even when i’m just feeling a bit low, tapping helps me clear out negative energy and reinforce positive beliefs.

it’s super simple! i can do it in just a few minutes, and it’ll help me stay centered and motivated. plus, the more i practice, the more i’ll notice those shifts in my mindset, making my glow-up journey not just about looks, but also about emotional well-being. it’s like giving myself a mini therapy session anytime, anywhere!

what is eft tapping? eft tapping, or emotional freedom techniques, is a powerful self-help method that combines elements of traditional chinese medicine with modern psychology. at its core, it involves tapping on specific meridian points on your body while focusing on negative emotions or limiting beliefs.

here’s how it works: when you identify an issue (like anxiety or self-doubt) and tap on these points, you’re signaling to your brain that it’s time to let go of that negative energy. at the same time, you’re also reinforcing positive affirmations that can help reshape your mindset. this dual approach helps to clear emotional blockages, making it easier to cope with stressors and improve your overall well-being.

simple step-by-step guide to help you integrate it into your glow-up journey

1.setup statement: create a setup statement that acknowledges the issue and combines it with self-acceptance. for example, you might say, “even though i feel anxious about my upcoming performance, i deeply and completely accept myself.”

2.begin tapping: use your fingertips to tap on the following points while repeating your setup statement.

• karate chop point: the side of your hand.

• top of the head: directly on the crown.

• eyebrow: the beginning of your eyebrow, closest to the nose.

• side of the eye: on the bone at the outside of the eye.

• under the eye: on the bone just below your eye.

• under the nose: between your nose and upper lip.

• chin point: in the indentation between your chin and lower lip.

• collarbone: just below the collarbone.

• underarm: about four inches below your armpit.

by practicing eft tapping regularly, you can clear out negative emotions and reinforce positive beliefs, helping you not only look your best but feel your best, too. it’s an empowering technique that anyone can do, anywhere, and it’s definitely going to enhance my glow-up journey. also, please search up eft tapping on youtube look for follow along videos too it’s (do your own research too)

grabovoi codes

grabovoi codes are a fascinating tool for manifestation and healing, developed by russian scientist grigori grabovoi. these codes consist of specific sequences of numbers that are believed to hold vibrational frequencies capable of influencing reality and promoting positive changes in your life.

the concept is based on the idea that numbers have inherent energy, and by focusing on these sequences, you can tap into that energy to manifest your desires. each code corresponds to different intentions, such as love, health, abundance, or even specific personal transformations.

i mean, just go watch this queen’s video

youtube

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hijacking-hearts · 1 year ago

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It's one in the morning and I gotta be up in like 6 hours but Quackity's last stream has me going absolutely feral so have a Quackity sketch dump while my brain processes everything that happened.

Here we got two of ElQuackity and two of Quackity.

Some obvs differences but lemme like go crackhead mode on y'all even tho you probs don't wanna hear it, anyways, I like to think that obviously both Quackity's look very similar but there are somethings that set them apart.

Physically I feel like ElQuackity has a more defined jaw, wider shoulders, a lil more muscle (specifically in the upper torso) and like slightly bigger wings. Quackity has softer features, more beauty marks, the beginning of crows feet from all his laughing and smiling, and he's slightly shorter.

However attitude/behavior wise, they're so fucking different.

I like to think that ElQuackity always has his shoulders squared even when he's like chill his shoulders are always just set. The only time Quackity shoulders were set was when he was angry or when he was defending someone else. Always has good posture you never catch him slouching or like hunching, his stance is confident and like daring.

He never actually smiles it's always this smirk that from certain angles looks like a smile but it just irritates the absolute crap outta ya. His eyes don't scrunch when he 'smiles' they like kinda squint but never truly scrunch.

He does that thingy sociopaths do were they emulate emotions but never actually feel them unless they're neg like anger and annoyance. He can act the part but there's a distinct lack of just everything that makes it Quackity.

And then Quackity is just a laid back dude, he's always smiling always laughing but there's this sadness that peaks through. His sadness is like tint on a window it's obvious the windows tinted but once your use to seeing it on the window you get use to it.

( or something I dunno shut up)

Even though he would still act like his usual self he carried himself like there was a weight on his shoulders. He doesn't feel as bright, he feels far away.

His wings are also super expressive that flutter, flap, fluff up, and beat with every emotion he feels. ElQuackity's just stay unnaturally still.

Oof I'm ranting but I can write a seven page essay on all the potential differences between these two but I'm sleepy and it late. My brain no longer wants to think.

Guenas Noches.

#my art #quackity #quackity fanart #elquackity #elquackity fanart #qsmp #qsmp fanart #sketch

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raayllum · 1 year ago

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Anyway said I wanted to talk about TDP's stage motif so here I am

The stage motif refers to well, references to the stage/theatre in terms of framing, word choice, and general dramatics. It isn't employed often, and I first noticed it upon reading the S2 novelization, in which the text states:

Callum was on a stage, but there was no one in the audience. This bed of keys was a horrible resting place. Sharp pieces of metal poked into Callum’s back. […] He heard an irritating buzz somewhere beneath him. Callum turned the cube frantically to see which primal was glowing. How could any of the primals glow in this dark place? Something about this cube tied his stomach in knots. It wasn’t natural. A vision flickered in front of his face. Dozens of dead animals in a field. A dead butterfly. A dead deer. A dead unicorn. Cackling laughter. He chucked the cube away from him with all his might. The glowing rune was dark magic. It represented death.

This of course makes sense. Callum's dark magic dreams with a spotlight focused heavily on him easily invoke the visuals of a lone performer on a stage - often there to declare monologues that reveal a character's internal thoughts, feelings, and particularly struggles - much the way the literal visual dive into Callum's brain shows us his thought process in figuratively imaginative language (sort of like poetry).

And in many ways, Aaravos' possession scene in 4x04 is also a monologue (and performance) with even a bow to close the 'scene' out. He even sort of assigns everyone their role - a few lines to define each character before the play begins, the way a director may hand out script information in the casting process. This is also where the stage motif begins to overlap with the game motif; you can play a game, yes, but you can also play a role. Play your part.

Puppets are, after all, inherently performance pieces.

4x04 also complicates this further by tying it to both Rayla's goodbye letter and Viren's speech to Terry:

They said that, sometimes, we make sacrifices so that the ones we love don’t have to. It’s part of protecting them—part of protecting you. Taking on hard choices and going to dark places is an act of love. It’s a gift.

I have always been ready to do anything to protect my family, however dangerous, however vile. In the name of love, you may perform acts so unforgivable... you will never forgive yourself.

With the stage motif coming back in loop with Viren's dream sequences in S5 as well. While his nightmare in the throne room has curtains mostly for the Twin Peaks reference, it still invokes a feeling of performance and insanity that has to be discarded, much the same way Viren has to dismantle his lies (that everything he did was for his family > himself / that he had no choice but to do the things he's done, i.e. "every step" was not because he had to) as we see the spotlight come again. (Fun fact: Viren's is the only one thus far to change from white to red to white again.)

And Finnegrin also brings up aspects/implications of performance in 5x08 as well:

The chains are an illusion. A performance, a ruse, a show. The real thing that keeps everyone in line - under Finnegrin's control - is fear (for themselves, assumedly). Callum tried to assert otherwise, that love and connection are the decided opposite of control:

and Finnegrin called that out as a performance, too, along with his behaviour towards Rayla that proved that love and the desire to protect can also be what controls you.

All that talk about how love makes you stronger, but the second you see that elf girl in pain, you completely lost yourself [it makes you weak].

Lurking underneath the performance is the truth in what makes people tick - their fears, their loyalties, their instincts. And it's these that Aaravos preys upon. It's why he believes they'll fulfil their roles per his predictions. They're his puppets, his performers.

His instruments

for

And well, the show must go on.

#tdp #tdp meta #the dragon prince #s2 #s4 #s5 #tdp aaravos #this was meta number one #was going to post this earlier but internet wasn't cooperating lmao #stage motif #analysis series #analysis

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deathbydarkelves · 1 year ago

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🪶☀️Elor'belo -- The Long Sun festival☀️🪶

In a moment of autistic genius, I came up with a whole new kaldorei holiday, centered around a long-distance hippogryph race. Big ol' info dump incoming.

Throughout the year, as the nights and days lengthen and shorten, Elune and the sun (or An'she, as I'll call it/him from now on. I know that's the tauren name but I think it works for the kaldorei to call him that too) are constantly in a race against each other. As An'she tires in winter, the days shorten and Elune overtakes him. Then as she tires in summer, the nights shorten and An'she overtakes her.

So, every year on the summer solstice, the day Elune is most tired from racing An'she, kaldorei hippogryph riders race him in her stead. They race from dawn to noon, traveling east to west and ending at the peak of Mt. Hyjal, the highest point on Kalimdor, to intimidate him with their racing prowess even when he is highest in the sky. Then as he falls, exhausted, Elune can continue the race again. In 7-8 hours, the racers cover almost 350 miles/~560 km. They start in eastern Hyjal the moment dawn breaks, then fly down to Ashenvale, then weave back up through the mountains to the peak of Mt. Hyjal.

Now, since the in-game world is TINY, I've decided to approximate Kalimdor's "real" north-south length to be ABOUT 4,000 mi/6,400 km. That makes it a bit smaller than South America. Or, because this is how my brain processes distance: Sam and Frodo would have to walk their path from the Shire to Mordor 2-3 times (depending on who you ask) to cover the same distance.

With that in mind, here's a rough approximation of the route, using the wonky proportions of the in-game map because I haven't made my own yet (</3):

The race has changed over time. Historically, it went from dawn to dusk, starting in Azshara, going through Ashenvale, some years going as far west as Darkshore, then ending on Mt. Hyjal. But over time and as circumstances on Kalimdor changed, the race was shortened both in time and in length. Lots of riders and hippogryphs alike would become dangerously exhausted during the historic 14-16 hour long race, Azshara is mostly Horde territory now, Darkshore is... not doing so hot right now, and so on.

Here's a, again, very rough approximation of the historical route:

And that's the "official" race, which is often initiated and attended by the High Priestess and Archdruid themselves. There are multiple smaller festivals/races across Kalimdor, but they all follow the same concept: race An'she east to west from dawn to noon, and end at the highest point possible. Some places even still run from dawn to dusk, as some believe the health risks are just something one has to deal with when racing a god, and that they're worth it to race on Elune's behalf.

Besides the race itself, the night prior there's always a huge festival with food and song and dance to hype up the racers. And the night after the race there's even more, this time with additional ceremonies, prayers, and offerings to Elune to help her get her "second wind" as it were.

Importantly, the overall spirit of the race and festival is one of friendly competition. The kaldorei aren't, like, ideologically opposed to the sun lol. It's vital for most life, and they know that. They race An'she to keep things fair between him and Elune.

And, of course, Elor'belo exists as a way for people to get together and enjoy good food and music, and cheer for their favorite racer(s). Here's some of the sorts of characters you might see competing because I need practice drawing hippogryphs anyway:

Miscellaneous notes:

The race distance is meant to be almost the maximum distance someone could ride in the time given. Only about 20% of racers can even do so with minutes to spare, with the remaining 80% finishing in the early-to-mid afternoon. But in the event someone does reach Mt. Hyjal well before noon, there's a second leg that takes them through Nordrassil's branches up to its very top. Very few people have ever completed that second leg before noon, and it's a very good omen for the rest of the year when someone does.

Different species of hippogryphs have different top speeds and stamina levels. Each has its own pros and cons when it comes to a race like this, which relies on both speed and endurance, and you'll always see a wide variety in the competitors.

On a related note: In the days of Queen Azshara, hippogryphs were selectively bred for different appearances and endurance levels, etc., like horses. That practice ended after the Sundering because in the new, more druidic culture of the kaldorei, it became a bit of a controversial topic to breed creatures as intelligent as hippogryphs. As a result most of those breeds are extinct now, but a handful of them are still kicking around with their own self-sustaining populations. That piebald one pictured above is an example.

The quel'- and sin'dorei have their own version of Elor'belo where they race Elune on the winter solstice. Since there aren't very many Thalassian words (with translations), and no fanmade dictionary I'm aware of, I'm thinking of just calling it Elor'elun ("Long Moon").

Baldur by Faun is the song that gave me the idea for this entire thing. I highly recommend giving it a listen, it's a bop.

#my art #au lore #night elf #kaldorei

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duchessofostergotlands · 3 months ago

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Do you think you could be autistic? No hate just wondered as I am too and I relate to a lot of what you say

Oh my anonymous friend, you don't know the can of worms you have opened haha. I am going to ramble here so just be prepared for that.

When I was little my mum did actually think I might be autistic. Predominantly because I played in an unusual way. I would line my toys up on the window sill and my grandmother's display cabinet thing. I would get furious at people if they moved my toys because they all had their own spot. And the only time I touched the toys was to move them from the cabinet (their home) to the window (the school). The rest of the time I would just stand still, stare at the toys, and wiggle my fingers. They called it "zizzing" - now it's called stimming, I guess - and they knew that was a sign of autism so my mum and my grandmother did wonder about it. But I had two things going against me: I was a girl and I was born in the early 90s. This was during the peak of the idea autism was the "extreme male brain." It was seen as being predominantly a male diagnosis. You probably know that. And there wasn't much understanding so our reference point would be people like our family friend who always looked at the ground, was obsessed with trains, had limited speech and would scream if anyone tried to touch him. Whereas while my family were still thinking about the autism thing I started school and I was academically strong, I had a small group of close friends and at the time - because of the gender disparity - girls only really got diagnosed with autism if they had some kind of very obvious speech delay, they weren't doing well at school, they had no social connections with their peers at all etc. So basically everyone just forgot about it. I got called a drama queen a lot, that was it.

Fast forward to my teens and my mental health was really bad. It got worse at university because I didn't have the routine and structure of school, I didn't have my mum cooking and buying food etc. I was diagnosed initially with depression and anxiety. After a while it was clear that wasn't right so after much fighting I got a diagnosis for Borderline Personality Disorder. Now you may know this but there is an overlap in BPD and autism symptoms and women are often misdiagnosed with BPD later in life because as children their autism wasn't picked up (because diagnostic criteria is still geared towards how it presents in boys and psychologists and psychiatrists don't always delve into motivations and thought processes). I found that out in my mid 20s but thought "nah I probably don't have it, I don't have special interests and I don't struggle with x, y and z." However, my mum became really interested in BPD after I was diagnosed and did loads of research, listened to podcasts on it. And she told she was listening to one podcast where someone was diagnosed with BPD but then they discovered it was actually autism. My mum said to me that the way she described herself in childhood was exactly how I behaved, as if I'd been the one speaking. And so that got me thinking and that's where I have been stuck over the last few years. I debate with myself constantly what's going on in my brain and I truly don't know. I regularly have epiphanies where I think "oh that thing I've done all my life is incredibly autistic." But then I think maybe it's actually BPD. And I just go round and round.

I identify as neurodivergent, regardless of what diagnosis I have. Some neurodivergence paradigms do recognise severe mental illnesses like BPD anyway, but I've realised that if you put aside the BPD I still have chronic problems with ordinary tasks and situations. And I used to think it was just because I was young but I'm 31, almost 32, and it isn't normal to take 3 months to make one phone call because you just can't make yourself do it! Most people don't find it this hard to take basic care of themselves.

#ask #anon #non royal #autism #BPD #personal

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oculosadvocum · 3 months ago

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I'm curious: What's the story with your RAM!Vox? Answer at your own leisure though, no hurry.

Is this about the whole story between Alastor and Vox? Or just the more RAM side of things?

The cool thing about me and Lee—my affiliate and writer for both voxxisms and staticgcne—is that all of our AUs involve the same background with a change here or there to push the story in a particular direction.

So here’s the rundown of how we got here and where Vox ended up:

Vox met Alastor almost immediately after he came to Hell. They became fairly close, and Vox fell hard and fast within months. Alastor helped him set up his business and get his foot in the door. They even lived together—like our flipped dynamic—but this didn’t last long because Vox knew he was in too deep and needed a step back.

The frequency was also created by Alastor here, but with a twist. Alastor told Vox it was a way to keep in touch over great distances, but in reality Vox’s every thought is broadcasted to him. Vox is unaware of this. After a certain point, he likely wouldn’t care, honestly.

Their friendship was easily kept up. Vox would do most of the work, inviting Alastor out or, when things were at their best, on weekend trips. Progressively treating Alastor more and more like a partner, which just led to a stronger obsession. Alastor never reciprocated, instead getting more “playfully violent”, which Vox took as the way that Alastor showed his love.

His business hit its peak during the mid to late 1990’s, with the tech boom and dot com bubble. Only getting more and more intense after Y2K, since he had control over the television networks and could parrot whatever narrative he thought would win over the masses. This caused a lot of distance between them, because Vox wasn’t putting in nearly the level of effort and attention to Alastor that he was used to.

It sort of culminated when Vox missed a long standing appointment with Alastor. Vox’s assumption was that he didn’t ask to meet so it wasn’t happening—Alastor showed up anyway. Neither of them discussed it after the fact, and Vox carried on with the new normal. Getting busier and busier but still canceling anything and everything for the sake of seeing Alastor when given the chance.

In 2017, Vox finally asked Alastor to join him. Alastor agreed, but only if Vox could beat him in a fight. Vox actually won, all the while confessing his love and obsession right to Alastor’s face and demanding they do this dance forever.

In RAM, Vox went far enough to subdue Alastor, and in a moment of gloating and rambling, used his hypnosis on him. Alastor took the moment to recover and grab him, and start the Ordeal.

During the Ordeal, Vox would have fought every single part, leading to a lot of unfortunate consequences.

His mind—brain—soul—sits beneath the glass on his head. It can be separated from the TV itself, and is mostly projected into it. As if the television is the skull containing it.

Getting to it from the screen is nearly impossible. Vox has created the equivalent of crumple zones on his body and his face is no exception. Sugar glass on top of glass on top of bulletproof glass. All can be affected by his power so that he has a proper “face”, but he’s built to be brittle in a lot of places so that nothing does lasting damage.

Accessing his brain from the back of his head would be easier, but would require basically ripping him apart to do so. Disrupting connections that would do a lot of damage to him in any circumstance, but especially here, in a situation where he couldn’t resolve it himself.

Because he was doing everything he could to stop the process during, Alastor did a lot of unnecessary destruction to his body and his brain. Causing him to break down very often, become increasingly violent, and even forget who he is.

On the physical side, Vox suffers a lot. Living with a constant migraine so bad that he will bang his head against the walls to try and get rid of it. He’s also lost almost all of his sight. Having to resort to outside cameras and infrared sensors to see the world around him. He short circuits and shuts down often.

When it comes to mental difficulties, Vox has no sense of self at all. Picking names and identities from whatever signals pass through him. He’s so paranoid due to the loss of his eyes and will lash out at anyone, most of the time without reason. He’s convinced that he’s being followed or chased more often than not, because he can’t actually see a threat, but knows it’s there.

In his time in the Tower, it was hell for anyone involved. My Vox actually had his Vees contracted to him. It likely took Velvette over three years to get him to break those and sign over his contracts to her, because every time she got close he just attacked. Valentino might have had some better luck with him, but Velvette would have been hard pressed to let him be alone with Vox for very long.

He would have been locked up and confined like a wild animal the majority of the time, only allowed out when they made their attempts to fix everything. Which never worked. Once or twice they managed to get his eyes working again, resulting in him being a bit more relaxed, but it wasn’t permanent and he actively got worse over it.

When Alastor came to get him, he recognized him immediately and acted like a kicked puppy at his feet. Begging Alastor to get him out and let him stay. Arms wrapped around Alastor’s waist while on his knees most likely. Clinging to him like he’s the only safe person in the world.

At the Hotel, he’s still volatile and a complete mess. But he knows Husk and Niffty, only through their connection to Alastor, so he’s more comfortable knowing this is “Alastor’s space”. He still can’t fully process the world, the people around him, or even himself, but he doesn’t pick fights as much.

It doesn’t help that Alastor is constantly making “adjustments” to try to fix him the same way that the Vees did. Sometimes they help for a while, but most of the time they just make his paranoia worse for a few days. He’ll self-implement his own imprisonment if it was a particularly bad one. Falling back into habits he doesn’t even know he has.

Bad days involve him destroying his own head, trying to attack Angel or Vaggie, and shutting himself in his room as the circuits fry in the Hotel.

Overall, on good days, he has a tendency to become a different person depending on who he’s interacting with. Committing aspects of personality to memory that work with certain people. An example of this is being more positive and bubbly with Charlie.

The only person he’s consistent with is Alastor, who he will attach to if given any opportunity. He’s whiny and desperate and looking for comfort from him at all times. If Alastor is in the room but not directly interacting with him, he will start to spiral.

If he ever managed full lucidity—he would absolutely lose his mind.

He would be horrified that he attacked Valentino and Velvette unprovoked, and furious that they didn’t kill him on sight. He would despise everyone at the Hotel for the crime of seeing him like that. He wouldn’t even know where to start with Alastor, especially if Alastor made it clear that he liked him better broken.

It probably wouldn’t go well for anyone.

This ended up longer than expected, but there’s the story for his RAM verse.

#|( ℝ𝕀𝕍𝔼ℝ ruins the shot ;; ooc )|#|( 𝕊𝕋𝕆ℝ𝕐𝔹𝕆𝔸ℝ𝔻𝕀ℕ𝔾 ;; headcanons )|#|( 𝔹ℝ𝕆𝕂𝔼ℕ 𝕃𝔼ℕ𝕊 ;; ram verse )|#|( 𝔽𝔸𝕀𝕃𝔼𝔻 ℝ𝔼ℕ𝔻𝔼ℝ ;; ram duplicates )|#this took forever and is way too long i apologize #/cw self harm

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batsplat · 2 months ago

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continuing with rgu/motogp and casey&vale thought exercise. during Casey’s ducati days the team (and also some tracks) were sponsored by Alice and they literally had an eye as a part of their logo design. it’s just too good not to use it and one could go in a pretty surrealist direction with it even.

right! yes! agreed anon! absolutely!

the way my ask-answering process currently works is that this genre of asks get a sort of instant prioritisation (the other asks are lovely but I need more active brain cells than I currently have at my disposal for a lot of them), which means I actually did start answering this like... immediately when I got it. then I got side tracked answering this ask about the similarities between casey/valentino, which I kinda feel like has ended up forming a lot of the spiritual foundation for the stuff here. now, quick look behind the curtain - where I'm at right now with life is that most of my ask answering happens a) when I'm commuting, b) when I'm eating, or c) when I'm about to fall asleep. except this past week, this process (and much of my life in general) has fallen apart as I have been ravaged by first a malfunctioning smoke alarm, then the combination of a malfunctioning smoke alarm and fever, and now just the illness. anyway basically this is my lengthy way of putting a disclaimer at the top that everything in this post was written in a state of mild sleep deprivation OR severe sleep deprivation fuelled by a smoke alarm in my bedroom beeping loudly once a minute for six days straight OR illness-induced fatigue. like my brain is empty at this point, there is nothing left, I just sort of long for oblivion. luckily at most three people will read this ask, so it's all good. let's roll <3

you're so rightttttt anon, yes!! that logo!! I had not clocked the surreal possibilities at allllll but obviously. they are there. here's the logo on the bike!

man that was such a nice looking bike. like 800cc was an awful era of racing but you can't argue with the aesthetics

here it is with the ad board backdrop

it's actually quite a nice logo.... here's a clean version of it:

I don't think this company exists anymore in this form, some italian tech thing idk, so no concerns over being a capitalist shill here. also it was still a fair bit less crowded back then, it's one of five logos on the bike rather than one of fifty. I like the idea you have these eyes sitting all around the track, very panopticon-y. as you zip by them and they watch you go round and round. both on the circuit, on the bike itself, on the leathers... in an early 2008 race, in estoril I believe, casey had some kind of issue with a camera dorna was making him test that ended up swinging around during the race. he talks about it in his autobiography in the context of his rough start to 2008 and all his various frustrations, but somehow entirely fails to miss the irony of a literal camera tormenting him. like come on casey, that's the thing you're always complaining about, don't you think that's kinda funny? how it's now not just like, abstractly making your life hell but also literally doing so? come on casey

AND ofc it's there when he's fighting valentino

this will be some time in 2007, I like how it looks like the eye is kinda peaking out at valentino from the side of the bike

you can kind of go in a few different directions with this eye thing, right. in a way, the obvious one is to position casey as the object of observation, of how he was constantly being watched and judged, of how he would have preferred to be riding out on his own without any of this other stuff but he was constantly forced to be part of the world of the paddock. the media was waiting for him to slip up, he was always being assessed, even his bike has sometimes faulty cameras attached to it. that's sports as entertainment - the aspect of his occupation casey was always least comfortable with, which made him so very different from valentino. you can even tap into the uneasy relationship with ducati, how they were watching him and judging him and all of it... blaming him for their troubles, not giving him enough credit for their successes. judging his diet! such a major theme of the 2009 saga, right, how they just refused to give him adequate support.... there's really something to like,, specifically the element of them judging his body, I think, this sort of 'oh, if only he ate and trained directly, if only he wasn't eating so many sweets' (a real bit of rhetoric they used btw!!) that has such a pernicious and controlling and nasty vibe to it that it really fits with having the eye on the bike itself. staring back at casey and demanding perfection from him and not even paying him his dues when he is actually perfect. big brother may be watching you, but he will never love you. creepy. awful

I've been thinking a lot about casey lately (yes yes, I'm sure this'll come as a shock) and what I find so compelling about him. and there's a version of him that I... look, not to judge anyone, do whatever, but there's an interpretation I do 'sometimes' see that I just personally find both slightly off base and also boring as shit. like, you can make casey into this very one dimensional 'always right about everything' opinionated hater who went in, beat valentino a bunch of times, showed everyone how talented and amazing he was but he was the victim of valentino's malevolence and then he left again, and now he keeps dropping correct hot takes about how awful everything is about current motogp. to me, this is all very flat. if casey were just very talented and a great guy and simply a bit introverted, I would find him boring as shit. so I was thinking about like.... how talented he is, how he's kinda the talent in the sport, and how usually the phrase 'the greatest talent this sport has seen' has to be the biggest turn-off imaginable in sports for me. but for him specifically, the sheer extent of that talent I think is a really key storytelling detail. I actually find it an interesting starting point to say that he really might just be as good as it gets on that specific metric. like, I don't care about measuring talent as a literal metric because... idk man, I just don't care, but it is narratively compelling to allow him to have the most raw potential of literally anyone. it's all there. he was born to ride, he was raised in a way that allowed him to become a truly unique rider - the kind you'll never see before or since. it's very primal, isn't it, taps into that early stage of the development curve: you have all this promise as a young child, where there are no other complicating factors, just an expression of raw ability, of a sort of purity... and at that stage, everything is possible. the talent is there to win twenty world titles. the talent will never, ever be the stumbling block

but of course, winning twenty titles isn't as easy as just having a lot of raw talent. I think there's something very nicely bildungsroman-y of casey setting off away from australia to european soils, where it's... you know, every step of the way up the ladder in the australian system, then through the british ranks on a whole different continent, then through spanish where he doesn't speak the language... it's obviously quite radically expanding his horizons, step by step, and it's also this horrifying process where he's slowly being subjected more and more to the world's gaze. you know that thing where casey had thought mat oxley was the guy doing him dirty when riding in the british championships - beyond being a funny story, I think it's actually kinda noteworthy that casey is already so hyper aware of how he is being perceived when he's a fifteen year old riding in a national championship. obviously, casey was making through his ranks with a real lack of security... the hypersensitivity always has to be attached to the context that for so many of his formative years, what people thought about him really, really mattered. he wasn't always the best at distinguishing between what was just, y'know, a journalist doing their job and the sort of unfair criticism that was actually fucking with his chances at career progression - but obviously that's pretty understandable. it's a real vulnerability that stems from... being beholden to that world's gaze. that constant pressure of young athletes, where they simply have to impress whoever happens to be watching. the talent spotter, some management agency representative, some team member who could open a door one day, a random journalist.... it all matters

and of course in that context, it's key how uncomfortable casey always has been with being watched. from his autobiography (in this post, which is about the gnarly topic of how the dream of being a rider was forced onto him by his parents - not irrelevant to this conversation):

well, y'know. that's all right then! if he's just crying because he finds the attention of others so distressing, it's not a problem! it'd only be a problem if he was crying because he doesn't want to ride! I'm sure this is something that casey will just magically deal with by the time he's grown up! nothing to address here if you're his parents, just a normal part of the process of becoming a professional motorcycle racer!

there's a romantic ideal to casey that I do have mixed feelings towards. both fascination and wariness, certainly. I think you can really lean into it with this pure, natural talent business, this sickly child becoming this fragile adult who has this sort of fast burning genius that is very bright very soon but inevitably consumes itself. the mystery illness, the early retirement, all the questions of 'what if'... people really love that angle, the tortured genius of it all, how there was always more possible if their bodies and minds hadn't conspired against them. I have many issues with this, from my distaste towards treating talent as the ultimate metric of worthiness in sports (you don't deserve to win more if you're more talented lol), to my dislike for how casey's mental health ends up being framed in these conversations, and just a general bleh feeling about injecting too much of a tragic note into the discussion of this type of career. you get the sense people pay less attention to casey's actual career than they do to a theoretical idea of the career that exists in their heads, and even then a lot of the time it's to push some kind of an agenda about a non-casey rider. still, listen, we're talking surrealism here - and sometimes you can lean into a trope to critique it, right. like, the trope is clearly there, might as well acknowledge it. and the exact manner of his 'downfall' really does come through the weight of the world's gaze, doesn't it, where he's constantly being exposed and picked apart and taunted. he hated it even when he became a child, and he just was in no way prepared for how big a role that constant attention would play throughout his racing career. it's just this fundamental incompatibility... the way this raw talent ends up running into the brick wall that is the reality of what modern professional sports looks like. again, this isn't a framing I'm a massive fan of - but that kind of prodigious talent does kinda get given a sort of... ethereal dimension, where it's not really suited to the true nature of the world and inevitably gets ground down by the cruelties and injustices. that tension between the elevated, the otherworldly, and the material realities it is subjected to. now, if casey had responded to this by being some sort of suffering shrinking violet poor martyred lamb, he wouldn't be anywhere close to as fun. he might be a prodigy, but he's also a whiny little shit who wasn't always doing himself any favours with how he was dealing with all those material realities. the general point still stands, though - and there's something kinda fun to giving The Gaze itself a corrosive power, the ability to eat away at casey through its mere existence

time to bring valentino back into the picture. I also think the talent element is really key with the valentino rivalry. like, to be clear here, I do not give a shit which one of casey and valentino was literally more talented, in large part because I just don't really believe in talent as a valid construct. everything about this is a boring debate to me when there's so much interesting stuff going on with these two that nobody ever seems to want to discuss :(((( so let's do that discussion here. and let's just say for a minute that valentino does look at casey and at the very least believes he might be as talented as valentino is, if not more so. from the similarities post:

like, we can quibble with phrasing here, but I think if you are saying that someone's 'pure talent' is 'unbeatable', then you might kinda be calling him the most talented guy to ever do it? does kinda live rent free in my head! valentino also said casey was "one of the greatest talents ever in motogp" which, while phrased a little less extremely, does give us a baseline to operate from with regards to how valentino perceived casey's abilities. when we're talking about 'gaze', in my mind there's something fun when you lean into the interpretation that valentino's gaze was not only very much on casey, but on casey quite early. the paddock was all over the place with regards to casey in his early years - where obviously people did spot the talent but didn't clock HOW good he was and also tended to dismiss him for various reasons, including his actual performance (often it really was his bikes that were more to blame) and, well, his personality. the rumour goes that casey was blocked not once but twice from joining yamaha, first in 2005 for the 2006 season with a satellite contract and agreement to join the factory team in 2007, and then in 2006 for the 2007 season. with the second one, casey does kinda imply in a very *wink wink nudge nudge* way that he enjoys deploying that valentino was the one to block him, and this is also something his father has said in interviews (yeah I've watched interviews his father has given, that's the rare level of fan dedication I've reached with this bloke). now, I'm a teensy bit unconvinced by the evidence here because by late 2006 yamaha clearly were leaning quite heavily towards jorge as their future. they also seemed to think valentino might be off to do f1 - or at least that's how lin jarvis more recently sold the decision to sign jorge, as a situation where they never actually intended those two nutcases to be teammates. more recently, casey has also suggested that yamaha were deliberately stringing him along as a way of pushing down the price of the guy they actually wanted to sign, which to me sounds fairly plausible. I'm not saying valentino wasn't badmouthing casey within yamaha - it's entirely possible that this is a thing that was separately happening - I just am way less sure whether it actually achieved anything. which leads us back to the 2005 contract cycle... in all honesty, I do kinda want valentino to have blocked casey here, for the reasons I was talking about above: I think it's fun and narratively spicey for valentino's Gaze to have been on casey early and have already had this malicious quality, where he's actively hurting casey's career prospects. I do feel this would be like... a little bit of a stretch, just in terms of how much long-term thinking and planning and behind the scenes malice and also power we're ascribing to valentino here - to make him block a satellite signing that only maybe possibly could become uncomfortable for him a year down the line. still, by the same token... that's exactly what would make it fun. I'm not going to take a stance on whether it happened or not, but I would like the possibility that it might have happened to bleed into the narrative at all times

and then we've got casey's autobiography line about how valentino was hazing him in his rookie season, putting questionable moves on him in practises and during races. I love this so so so so much. look, casey had a strong start to his rookie season, and he DID fight valentino in his very second race which was very cute. but let's be real, valentino had limited opportunities to fight casey in races that season (I'm still struggling to actually think of a non-qatar race.... and having rewatched that fight a few times, it's one of those things I kinda want casey to talk me through, explain what his issues with valentino were) and really should have had bigger things to worry about. like, the man has four championship rivals and none of them are satellite honda rookie casey stoner. if valentino really was bullying that child in practise, then, y'know, what was the vision there. so obviously I really need this to be true... valentino might be a bit of a dick in general on-track but there's just something so charming about the idea that he had a bit of a special treatment for casey from day one. like, yes, that's my favourite talent spotter!! he knew there was something about that surly, stubborn crash prone kid. I want that malicious gaze directed on casey nice and early. obviously, casey has this entire thing where he doesn't believe valentino rated him until he'd basically already lost the title in 2007 and even then wasn't giving him proper credit, which doesn't entirely stand up when checking the historical record... but crucially, let's just accept casey's stance for a minute and say that valentino wasn't being sufficiently complimentary - for all intents and purposes, valentino did understand exactly how good casey was! going back to those autobiography sections I included in the similarities post, with valentino's whole thing about how he knew exactly why he won and lost every single race... I think it's really key that valentino did recognise just how good casey was, that he had quite a clear-sighted understanding of the level of prodigious talent he was dealing with here. that's why the gaze needs to be turned malicious, right. casey's stance here is the 'well the victory doesn't mean as much if you play dirty' approach, but valentino doesn't care. even if he was open to the idea that casey might be 'more talented' than him, obviously that doesn't mean he's going to roll over and die. because at the end of the day, raw talent really is only one of many tools in an athlete's locker. if the only way you can beat the kid is in the head, then so be it

one thing that does go under the radar a bit with casey is just how young he was during the heyday of the valentino rivalry. like, everyone's always on about how marc was only 22 during sepang 2015 - but for what it's worth, casey was 22 during laguna 2008. casey already experienced crowds booing him when he was 21, no honeymoon period there. maybe it's the lack of such a big age gap with valentino (they clock in at six and three quarter years), maybe it's the perceived lesser severity of valentino's crimes in this relationship, the lack of an active betrayal of hero worship, maybe it's how casey is a bit less baby faced and a bit more ill-tempered, maybe it's just lack of interest in casey in general... (to be clear, I do not want any discourse about this rivalry. like casey, I also do not need The Gaze to be directed at him too much.) but y'know, it is important to remember. laguna 2008 as a formative experience for casey is at its most coherent when we treat it first and foremost as one of humiliation. I talked about humiliation in that black rose arc post and then also did address that a bit in the similarities post:

this is what the gaze does to you, right. nobody is humiliated in private - that's not how humiliation works. you can be embarrassed in private without anyone else knowing what you did to embarrass yourself, even though you can argue about how there's an element there of judging yourself against an imagined external observer. still, though... with humiliation, it's far more direct. humiliation requires an audience. and humiliation has so much potential as a formative experience. the crash itself is really key here imo - it's not a scary crash, it's not a dangerous crash, it's a comically slow one as the bike goes into the gravel and then goes into the slightly deeper gravel and then tips over. it's one the commentators treat as a little bit silly, because it is. it feels like such an anticlimactic end to the battle, but it works perfectly because of it. casey is even denied any real pathos in the moment of his downfall... it's his own mistake, it's one that has so slender, seemingly harmless consequences. and then he has to ride to second place, he has to sit with the sting of that mistake, of knowing everyone watched it.... the entire show valentino puts on in parc fermé, perfect for the cameras, interrupting casey's tv interview and all of it... they both know they're being watched. valentino leans into his triumphalism in a way he never has in quite the same way before or since. casey cannot hide his bitterness and must eventually worsen his own humiliation by apologising to valentino. that's the kind of thing that sticks with you, yeah

and it's predicated on all the watching and studying and learning valentino has been doing throughout the course of the rivalry... valentino has come to understand casey and come to understand just how unbeatable his adversary can be. when you're fighting a god, after all, you kinda need to pull out all the stops. valentino reinvents himself in that laguna race, he's willing to take a massive risk on several counts, and it's all because he knows just how good casey is. it's the coldness of the whole thing, the violence, the radical steps valentino has taken, that make the whole thing so compelling. a series of calculations based on valentino watching casey, assessing not only his talent but also his character. and in that race comes the moment of revelation, where their characters are tested to such an extent that you inevitably expose a lot of said characters. valentino is inviting the audience in on the show... it's a spectacle - that's why it works

so, let's flip it and make casey the observer. after all, it's casey who's got the eyes plastered all over him

including in pressers where it's a backdrop! got it nicely displayed on his chest too as casey watches valentino talk. I did already give a lot of my thoughts on this dynamic in the similarities post - it's such a key theme to me of that entire rivalry that casey is so... actively engaged in the process of learning from valentino. jorge and marc used valentino as a 'reference' before they entered the class; casey felt first hand what happens when valentino focuses in on a rival and knew he needed to learn some of those tricks. luckily, he's talented enough to be a quick study. I really like the angle of this photo because it does kinda make it look like all the eyes are on valentino... which they obviously are. a man who is always aware of where the cameras are! sometimes for better and sometimes for worse

kinda have to bring it in when we're talking eyeballs, right? valentino really is the master of bringing in his own surrealist imagery. as all the best bits of valentino symbolism, you can interpret this in several ways... it's him paying extra attention to where he's riding a year after the leg break, but also him deeply, deeply aware of the eyes of the world on him after his ill-fated switch to ducati. the world gazes - and he shows his awareness of that gaze by gazing right back at it. acknowledging the camera, making his own humiliation into a bit of a show

anyhow... see that overly long post of casey and vale photos WAS good for something because the ask made me take a closer look at some of those photos. check this one out lol

you're right, anon!! this slaps! perfect gaze from casey, perfect placement of the eye right next to him. it kind of functions in two different ways, right, because you've got the element of casey studying valentino and learning from him - but also the gaze of judgement. again, you've got laguna as this decisive moment of revelation... "valentino showed who he really was", after all. casey's gaze is one of moral consideration, of condemnation. it's that duality that's really fun with them, where casey is on the one hand so fundamentally disgusted by valentino and his entire deal, but on the other hand is also learning to become more like him. leaning into his 'worse' impulses to fight him - the spite, the grudges, the determination to hold his own against his enemies that will supersede morals or self-preservation. if you look too long into the darkness, the darkness may end up looking back

it's that kind of vibe where... y'know, there's such a disparity between how the pair of them experience the rivalry, but also just how it functions narratively for them... part of the point I was making in that post is that it's like. valentino is obviously capable of these ultra heartfelt emotionally thorny rivalries. this was not that, but it was for casey - and so in some ways casey ended up taking on the valentino role. spite, grudges, delayed retribution... it's all a lot more straightforward from valentino's end, especially during the time period where they're actually competing for titles, where there isn't any real interpersonal animosity and valentino is just sort of willing to do whatever it takes... it's not like he even massively wanted to make an enemy out of casey; he just had a far more liberal understanding of acceptable tactics than casey did. and then casey's got so much going on... which means these two rivalries just end up operating on completely different levels, where valentino's dealing with this tricky and kinda fun challenge and casey's confronting demons... casey judges valentino, casey learns from valentino, casey never entirely understood valentino. this lingering awareness that he never really knew valentino as a person - that's catnip for this discussion. he can look all he likes, but all he sees is a shell

speaking of... well, valentino having these two natures, valentino's perceived fickleness, valentino being so slippery and tricky to pin down for casey... you can kinda bring in another symbol already featured in one of these posts, right

sun and moon on one rider vs an eye on the other. now, remember, valentino liked using this as a way of distinguishing between two sides of his character:

lovely stuff. not a million miles away with the internal distinction casey sometimes seems to draw between valentino the person and valentino the character. and that's what the eye is supposed to do, right - perceive the truth. see valentino for what he really is. positioning casey as the heretic who won't shy away from seeing valentino's true nature... the callousness casey has been exposed to, an awareness of everything valentino would do to win a race, to win a title. to beat casey

another link I was thinking of going through my lil collection of photos - this pair of photos which I think are both from qatar 2007:

while I generally prefer my sun and moon logos a bit less minimalist, valentino does have a nice helmet design here with the sun on one side and moon on the other. I mean this is just fantastic stuff, isn't it, like it really writes itself. two photos from different pov's, one where you see casey's face and one where you see valentino's. one where you see the sun and one where you see the moon. you can play around with the interpretation a little depending on what you want the sun and moon to symbolise respectively, but it's all in there lol. casey sees the moment one way, valentino quite the other. casey sees one side of valentino, but valentino's other side is already lurking, biding its time. valentino wearing a helmet at all is of course also quite a nice touch - see casey hiding in his helmet as a teenager, embarrassed by how good he was, see valentino deciding against taking off his helmet when he goes to confront casey after jerez 2011. it's a literal mask, a way of maintaining distance. works very nicely, doesn't it

here's a photo of them on-track, where you can just about see both sides of the helmet:

so you get a bunch of nice photos that year where depending on the perspective it's being photographed from, you get a different side of the helmet visible. casey spends so much time in front that season, he really doesn't need to be studying valentino's helmet all too closely. and sitting behind someone is overrated, as laguna 2008 showed so nicely

valentino also has a more intricate version of this design at phillip island 2007

which I'm mainly including because I think the whole thing looks kinda snazzy

but that's!! not!! all!! because there is one last 'casey and eyes' theorem that absolutely needs to be included here. like, this whole thing of casey watching valentino, having all these eyes around him doing the watching, perceiving valentino's true nature... it's all a bit third eye, isn't it, of having another eye open and being able to perceive truths your two regular ones can't. and, well, eyes... if we're talking about eyes and symbolism, then there's one symbolic link you just need to bring in: conspiracy theories. plastering a bunch of eyes on things, it's all a bit illuminati innit, a bit eye of providence, a bit freemason. one of my favourite things like,, narratively with casey is to really lean into the paranoia and the conspiratorial leanings; it's fun and juicy and adds so much to his character. he's just the type of guy who ends up being very attuned to a certain type of pattern! a certain type of colour, even - the bloody luminous yellow thing really is just such a perfect little detail that is so unintentionally revealing. casey noticing it, casey exaggerating it in his mind, casey including it in his autobiography.... he's got such a particular way of seeing the world, such a specific and slightly odd viewpoint that just makes you want to prod at him... and he does have a little bit of the flair of the traditional conspiracy theorist

that built-in wariness, disillusionment from systems and the establishment and all the rest of it, the alienation, the suspicion of malice... the whiff of paranoia! all absolutely perfect to make use of all the eye imagery. I think it's so so telling that casey thinks valentino might have been a victim of a plot like that, like it almost feels a bit counterintuitive the first time you think about it... casey's whole thing with valentino was about how valentino was always being favoured, always being given preferential treatment - casey complains about it several times in that same book! but, like, at the end of the day he really does view the system as the main villain. valentino is almost like an unwitting, unsuspecting, undeserving beneficiary of the whole thing, who doesn't even know what's Really Going On.... it's not valentino's malice behind these neverending injustices - though he might be representative of all of them. apparently, it is possible for valentino to be stitched up too. it is kinda a little bit that classic conspiracy theorist dynamic of gaining satisfaction from being one of the few who actually know the truth... like on the one hand it's frustrating in the isolation it causes, but on the other hand it's also extremely rewarding because it makes you special. 'welcome to my world, mate' - you almost get the sense casey wants to yank valentino behind the curtain and explain to him how the world really works. casey wants valentino to understand him, remember. maybe at the end of the day casey wants valentino's gaze to be a little more finely attuned. oh, please let me moderate a dinner between the pair of them, pretty please

still, for balance, let's chuck in some casey paranoia actually aimed directly at valentino:

10/10, no notes. watching someone closely isn't always a good thing

anyway this is probably the place to wrap up this post lol. basically I agree, anon, the eyes are great. I do not have the energy to edit this, so hope it is at least vaguely coherent. everyone's always watching each other and it's all fun and kinda creepy and unsettling and long live paranoia

#//#brr brr #batsplat rsponds #spec tag #heretic tag

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phlurrii · 6 months ago

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Important PSA

Hello my fellow floof obsessives, I wanted to make this quick update for folks as well as include a bunch of snippets of stuff I’ve been working on for AGES for this comic! Some make no sense and some are about to make a lot of sense!

But onto the meat of this, I have been having a hell of a year, good, bad, and ugly! And lately my motivation has been in the shitter the last 4 months. I have barely wanted to draw let alone work on my goobers. However, I’ve been pushing through and doing it anyways because I love them and you all sincerely have made this year utterly wonderful!! That, and I’m excited for the Noe arc! But I think it’s finally time to split my time properly with The Ancient Mew and something I am proper motivated to work on, before burnout kills me entirely.

I have a second comic, not related to Pokémon in the slightest, but an original story I’m drafting with a friend that has my heart just as much as this one does. I’ve been forcing myself not to touch it and force myself to work on this, but it’s causes a grid lock where I’ll work on neither and then just be miserable because of it. So I’m officially announcing that these two things will be worked on simultaneously! Patreon will continue to receive 1-3 updates a month and the comic won’t be on any hiatus don’t worry, but my activity will be split between here and my other Art account for the development of my other comic!

So this is both a sneak peak as what I’m working on for AM as well as for any of those who would like see the process of exploring this new story via whatever we call short form videos with those audios that make your brain go wild with ideas over on Instagram and eventually here too. Albeit on a separate Tumblr of course~

If folks have any questions, please feel free to reply below this post and I’ll do my best to answer them! As well as provide a follow up post about this second comic I’m developing if anyone’s interested ^^

#mod speak #sneak peak #teaser #ancient mew #update

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i984 · 2 years ago

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Signing off...

Hello! I want to start this post by telling you guys something really interesting...

Tl;dr: I'm taking a break for a month due to severe stress and performance anxiety, plus college and work is kicking me in the arse, but do send requests and prompts in because I need to write them FLUFF to get rid of the stress. Love ya!

So a month ago I stumbled upon a really amazing writer here on tumblr dearest, and I immediately fell in love with their work. It was so well written, and I couldn't comprehend the fact that it was the first ever story they've ever written and they wrote it under such circumstances that if I were to be put in their position, I can guarantee I wouldn't even be able to string a coherent sentence.

Anyway, that really got me thinking.

It's been two months since I first started writing, and revisiting old works of mine reveals something along the lines of "I'm not improving," and "I'm not creative."

It's been a problem I seem to notice, is that I struggle a lot with characterization (ESPECIALLY this) and pacing, among other things that makes me view my works mostly as blegh.

I know comparing is probably not the best way to develop, and I wouldn't say I'm envious of people's talents (because it's obvious some people are just so great at stuff lmao) but it's more like I'm disappointed in myself I guess(?)

In the collective 20 works that I've published over the two months, I still can't fully grasp what works and what doesn't with the Fandom, and I can't quite identify nor fix the problems in my writings. Combined with the burn out, this makes writing a very painful process for me even though I really want to enjoy it.

I rely very heavily on external validations and to see that in the midst of the dead Fandom (when compared to when it's at its peak), people can still garner almost 1k notes in the span of a week (and I can see why it's very well loved), posting here just makes me so stressed when I shouldn't even be.

It got so bad to the point I have trouble breathing every time I think about writing, and although now it doesn't happen as often, the performance anxiety is pretty much there.

Work, as well as college too has been a pretty great contributor for my stress and to put writing on top of that is just excruciating for me.

And that's why I'm taking a break!

It'll probably a month break like how I've stated in previous post, because it's become apparent I need rest LMAO

Thank you so much for the support you guys have shown and sent my way, I want to say that I really appreciate it! Honestly I wouldn't get this far without you guys, I love you so much!

I've set some reblogs for other creator's works while I'm gone, because I've been meaning to read but I just haven't found the opportunity for it. People here make such great works <3

If you guys have any requests, PLEASE DON'T HESITATE TO SEND THEM IN. I know this might feel contradictory but as I pointed out, I'm not really imaginative or creative, and I really want to write things, but most of the time I cant come up with anything or what I think is good isn't what you guys want (I know I still have a bunch of requests sitting around, but like I said I write when inspiration struck me).

So yes, send requests in so that I can do some writing during the break, and hopefully come back with a bunch of requests already done and ready to post!

Also, if you guys make it this far, I've got a surprise for you which is I'm finally trying to work on the series I've been planning to do since January HAHA! We'll have to see where it takes me but right now I have so much ideas running around in my brain and not enough waking hour in the day to develop and write it.

How do you guys feel about lord crime v.s. master detective trope BECAUSE I AM CRAZY ABOUT IT.

I'll see you guys when I do :) Love you! ❤

Special thanks to:

@missmonsters2 and @robiin-buckley for being the people who literally BURNS my heart with the desire and give me the courage to write, I wouldn’t be here without you 🥺💘

@ocyrus for being my first ever anon, I cannot stress how much I owe you <3

@tulipsbymybed for hyping me up when I first started and when I thought my work is a shitshow.

@vorsdanysstuff for being the first person to reblog my stuff and says some very very nice things about it and gave me more confidence to write, and also. For finding me and being the love of my life. I treasure you with my whole being.

@wol-fica for feeding me with cat pictures and being my lovely wife who misses me when I'm gone and makes picrews of us together, I love you so much 💓

@maryannecrimsworth for noticing my username and for loving my blogs questionable aesthetic, and for talking to me about dystopia and being my favorite lil bro!

@cursedchar for being the awkward mutual at first but now we spew chaos every where and every time we talk and interact. Honestly, you bring the wild side in me out to the world. Still hate your angsty stuff tho.

@tundra1029 FOR BEING THE ICON THAT GIVES GOOD ASS AMAZING PROMPTS and being a super lovely person and a great writer, I love you buddy <3

@alexkolax for well. You know me the most out of everyone in this site. My respect and trust for you is through the roof and cannot be expressed with mere words. Thank you for being here, Lex.

@ricosnumber1fan for being there in most of my works. I still think about you and scroll through your comments and reblogs. You're the best (second to sourdough tho).

@theflamboyantshadow for always leaving amazing comments under my posts, you are the sweetest person ever and I really wish you a great fucking life. Love you.

@iamnicodemus for writing that dragon Wednesday fic... and LEAVING THE MOST FLATTERING REBLOGS. ILYSM AND. you always make me smile when I think of you LMAO

@literally everybody else who've single handedly kept me alive and well on this site, I appreciate all your little asks, reblogs, comments, likes, and just UGH my heart aches for every single one of you.

Pray I return soon.

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just-sp-in-inginthevoid · 9 months ago

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ok so, after reading your analyses and claiming you as the shinichiro/takeomi dynamic expert in my mind, I want to share a though that is living rent free in my brain for quite a while.

Shiniricho finally gets a girlfriend and they are super in love with each other, but since his friends haven’t had the opportunity of meeting her yet they tease him and make jokes about her not being real. One day Takeomi is waiting for shin in his bike shop when a beautiful girl shows up, he is smitten the second he sees her and in their brief interaction he is already convinced that she is his dream girl. Until shinichiro shows up and she run right into his arms, leaving takeomi there to process that he just fell for his best friend girlfriend.

First of all, thanks for the ask! You gave me such a huge compliment 🙈 Second, I was never asked something of this kind before, so I hope what I wrote will please you and I apologize if I did it wrong since it's my first time doing that (also hence why I took some time to answer)

Takeomi falling for Shinichiro's Girlfriend

That sure is a way to torture the both of them lol But that's something I love doing so that's okay

Takeomi is a very envious man. He desires lots of things. He wants and he takes even when the things he wants are someone else's. Most than often what he wants are what others’ have anyway, ‘the grass is greener on the other side of the fence’.

Takeomi's enviousness is at its peak when he's near Shinichiro; Takeomi admires Shinichiro more than anyone else: Takeomi loves Shinichiro too much to steal anything he holds dear. He's envious of Shinichiro but there's no resentment towards Shinichiro directly. Shinichiro gave him Black Dragon which gave him the God of War – and that’s everything precious Takeomi deems to have. He yearns for more but he won’t let go of BD or his persona for anything in the world. Shinichiro is his golden goose, can't risk nor afford to lose him.

Still, he envies him. Takeomi has followed Shinichiro all his life, ran after him but he never succeeds to attain him. Shinichiro is too surreal, everyone loves him and Takeomi wants that. He was never seen him as something more than "ordinary" as a child and The God of War was a poor try to get that attention from others and this confirmation he was different, better.

Takeomi yearns for what Shinichiro has (charisma & charm mostly) so much him falling for Shinichiro's girlfriend will no help one bit

Takeomi never attempts to steal what is Shinichiro's, he asks instead. He knows Shinichiro, they're childhood friends. Shinichiro is kind and giving and accept to share. But that's not a thing here, that's a human being they both have feelings for.

Falling for Shinichiro's significant other will tear him apart, honestly. Not that he'll admit it to anyone, himself included. He'll end up bottling it up until it explodes like always

He won't stop himself from interacting with her though. Denial or self-destructive behavior, you decide. It's probably both anyway

Shinichiro is very excited that they got to meet

Because! Shinichiro's girl finally met one of his best friends! His childhood friend! He wants them to get along so he'll make them get to know each other

If we take Takeomi's chapter as referent, Shinichiro can be rather blind to his distress (e.g Black Dragon's disbandment announcement). But we have to take into account that Takeomi is neither the definition nor a synonym of 'reliable narrator' and that there's the possibility the first generation of Black Dragon came to an end because Mama Sano died earlier this same year and so Shinichiro wasn't in the best place – that aside, there's also how he clumsy reacted to Sanzu's scars and how relaxed he was while telling Sanzu everything about the Original Timeline but he gets the excuse of.. having lived the Original Timeline. The last clue of Shinichiro's obliviousness is then how he dealt with Izana learning he wasn't blood-related to any of the Sano. (Shinichiro is kind and caring but he's not the best noticing and handling his loved-ones' feelings)

Then, because Takeomi is an unreliable narrator, we can argue Shinichiro let Takeomi know about BD disbandment before disbanding it so that Takeomi could adjust to their new reality that was about to take place – back to civilian lifestyle

Figuring out which one is blind to his friend’s intentions/feelings is then.. something that remains blurry because the PoVs in Tokyo Revengers are really subjective (and since it’s a work of fiction, that’s a compliment! Good stuff) but, taking into account their seemingly lack of interaction when Takeomi is in debt in canon I’d continue with the idea that while Shinichiro can figure out something’s off with his loved-ones, he actually doesn’t know how to make it better and may not completely be right in his deductions (+his seemingly lack of interactions with Izana after he learnt about their family situation. Granted in both cases, Takeomi and Izana made it so Shinichiro wouldn’t be able to find them) | If you want a post listing Shinichiro's questionable decisions around children, @chaoticdelinqueerwithglitter wrote this

So… Shinichiro may feel like there's something wrong with Takeomi from the moment his best friend met his girlfriend but he won't be able to pinpoint what.

And if Shinichiro has suspicions he brushes them aside because he trusts Takeomi

Even though it's Shinichiro we're talking about, Takeomi would still get an ego boost to counter how shitty he feels (both before and after Shinichiro learns about his feelings) and would try things to get Shinichiro's girl. Good luck dealing with the mess

If he ends up learning about Takeomi's feelings for his girlfriend, by whatever means, he'd be sympathetic. That won't go well with Takeomi feeling ashamed tho lol Takeomi hates feeling like that, he'd probably go and hide away for some times

The situation would feel incredibly awkward for the both of them

If Takeomi tries to do something that is too much: he'd try and continue to prove himself that that's what he wants and that he can do it and no consequences will befall on him

He's pushy but not a harasser, abuser or rapist, so he'd stop if Shinichiro's girlfriend makes it known. He'd feel even worse though because of course Shinichiro got a girl as faithful and lovestruck as him, as perfect as him, and Takeomi is nothing like that

(He had hoped a bit by convincing himself that since Shinichiro's lovelife is disastrous she was most definitively like the other girls – not actually loving Shinichiro)

he’d try to get himself some girls for the night to distract himself but he won’t be able to

So, unfortunately since canon gave us a rather oblivious Shinichiro and a Takeomi who depreciates himself every five seconds before having an ego boost until it crashes again (rinse, repeat) - the only one who can fix the situation (or at least get it moving by stopping its status quo) is the girlfriend. (unless you decide to wait for Takeomi’s inevitable *big boom*)

#Shinichiro 'head empty' Sano vs Takeomi 'too many thoughts overthinking this' Akashi #answering asks #tr #if i havent answered the way you wanted to - pls make it known!#ill adjust

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