#anyways heres a peak into my brain and my process

[miizuzu]

Once upon a dream

“I think I should start looking for a boyfriend.” Satoru spat out his vanilla flavored milkshake as he listened in from a bug he planted in your jacket. “Gross, Gojo.” Nanami glares at Satoru then turns away. Satoru got up quickly and ran outside. 

You were on your lunch break and were eating outside your workplace with Yuki, your friend/co-worker. Yuki raised one of her brows and questions. “Why the sudden change of heart?” You really couldn't tell her it is because of all the lewd dreams you have been having, you thought it was your brain telling you it was time to start planning for a relationship. “Umm… you know, I'm not getting any younger. Maybe it's time to meet new people.” That was the only excuse you could think of. 

Satoru nervously bites his thumb while he listens in. He knows the exact reason why you wanted to look for someone, HE was the cause after all. He's been waiting for the perfect moment to finally ‘meet’ you, guess he has to accelerate his plans.

Satoru pops his head back into the office and tells Nanami he will go out and do his rounds, Nanami stood up and decided he would go together, which Satoru didn't expect but agreed anyway. 

Satoru's office was actually pretty close to where you work, so he decided to walk that way and hopefully, maybe some miracle would happen where he would be able to talk to you. He must have done something to favor the gods, since the perfect opportunity came as he finally saw you. 

Yuki wanted to have one last smoke before break ends and had gone back inside because she left her lighter in the locker. Some shady looking guy was hiding in the shadows and jumped out to grab your bag once he saw you alone. Satoru and Nanami both knew what he was up to and ran towards you. 

The thug pulled your bag away from you, knocking you down while he tried to escape. Nanami went to you and tried to help you up while Satoru ran after the thief. You were too shocked to process what had just happened, Nanami stayed with you as Satoru catches the thief and walks back towards you.

Satoru was shocked when he saw the way you were looking at Nanami, your cheeks were bright pink and you nervously looked away while trying to sneak peaks of him. Satoru thought to himself, ‘I should have been the one she’s admiring, I caught the thief!’ 

“Miss, are you alright?” Nanami asks gently, and all you could do was nod your head. Satoru pushes the thief towards Nanami as he hands you back your bag. “Would you like to check if there's anything missing?” Satoru smiles at you, catching your attention as you stare at his eyes. 

“Beautiful…” you gasp as you realize you said that out loud. Satoru had a confident smirk on his face. “Thanks, but we really need you to check if there is anything missing.” You bashfully grabbed your bag from Satoru and looked through your things. “Everything is here. Thank you officers.” 

“If it is not too much trouble, could I please ask you to follow us back to the station to file a report?” Satoru asks, mainly trying to find an opportunity to ‘finally learn your name from you’. “I'm actually just on my lunch break, I have to go back to work.” You were shaking from all that just happened and Satoru saw it. “I'm sure your employer would understand and let you take an early leave, I'll even go with you.” Satoru suggests. 

“While you two do that, I will take him back to the station first.” Nanami told Satoru as he started heading towards the police station. “Umm, excuse me! Do you mind… if I ask you for your name?” You shyly peaked at Nanami. “Nanami Kento.” He replied with a smile as he turned and walked away.

You were still in your little zoned out state as Satoru jealously watches your eyes follow Nanami. “Should we head inside?” Satoru snaps you back to reality. “Umm, yes. Sorry about that. Thank you for all your help.” You politely bow at him. “My name is Satoru Gojo, do you mind telling me yours?” He playfully tilts his head to the side. “My name is Y/N L/N, sorry, I'm still feeling a little shaken up from what just happened.” 

Satoru was glad he finally became acquainted with you, but now he has a problem. You are clearly interested in Nanami and he needs to make sure this doesn't develop into something more. 

Satoru went with you to explain what just happened to your employer and they gave you the rest of the day off. Satoru walked with you to the police station and filed a report. He offered to take you home as well since you might be scared to be alone, which he was right. 

You didn't want to bother Satoru and was about to turn down his offer when he told you that he was actually getting off and really wanted to see you get home safely. You finally agreed and waited as he changed out of his uniform before he took you home. 

The two of you walk side by side, Satoru has his hands in his pocket, while you secretly sneak side peaks at him. You were so preoccupied with Nanami earlier that you didn't realize Satoru, he's tall and is in great shape, he's handsome and you can't help but think he has the most beautiful eyes. You also couldn't shake the feeling that you've seen him before but can't remember from where, you just find him really familiar.

Satoru realized you were looking and smiled to himself again, he wanted to take up all of your thoughts, make you think of only him, him, him. 

The two of you chatted a bit more while waiting for the bus and you told Satoru a little more about yourself, how you live alone and don't have too many friends, which Satoru already knows about but acts like he just found out. When the bus finally arrived, it was almost at full capacity, which was in Satoru's favor. 

People were pushing and shoving around, and he got the perfect opportunity to be close to you. He got you safely caged between his arms while providing you enough personal space, he would occasionally get shoved towards you and his body would ‘accidentally’ press against yours, making you flushed. 

You suddenly remember your dreams when Satoru was shoved against you once more, his tone chest was pushed right against your burning cheeks, you couldn't help but bring your hands up and tried to gently push him back. Your finger accidentally brushes against his nipple and he lets out a quiet moan only you were able to hear. Your eyes widened and shot up to his face, your hand gripping tightly on his shirt in front of his chest, Satoru was blushing and tried to hide his face with one of his hands and you thought he was the cutest thing. 

You should really apologize but when you opened your mouth, wanting to say sorry, the word “Cute” came out instead. Satoru now staring down at you with widened eyes, he wants to be ‘cool’ or ‘hot’ in front of you, not ‘cute’. He slightly pouted and you just couldn't help but want to see more of his face. 

You didn't know what overcame your thoughts, you forgot where you are, or that this is the first time you've met Satoru, he feels so familiar to you that it just felt right. You moved your hand over his chest again, brushing over his now hardened nipple as he twitched from your touch. You kept playing with his nipple while your ear still pressed on his chest, listening to his quicken heart beats, even bringing up your other hand to play with the other side. Satoru was trying to act normal but you could tell his breathing has become irregular, he is taking breaths through his mouth, trying not to let another moan slip.

As much as Satoru liked the way you were playing with him, he noticed it was getting close to your stop. He noticed one of your hands was slowly traveling down, feeling his toned abs as it got lower and lower. 

Satoru grabs your wrist, which finally snaps you out of your trance. You instantly became bright red, unsure what took over you, just as you were about to say something, Satoru whispers in your ear first. “Didn’t think you were this brave to do this on the bus to someone you've just met. We have been on the bus for a while, did we miss your stop?” Satoru knows the stop is up ahead and wants to make sure you don't miss it. 

Finally aware of your surroundings, you noticed you would be getting off at the next stop. “It’s the next stop… Please forgive me! I'm usually not like this.” You were so embarrassed you couldn't look at him in the face. Satoru just let out a smile and didn't say anything else. 

Finally getting off the bus, you speed ahead as Satoru catches up to you easily with his long legs. When arriving at your house, you quickly turned around and bowed at a 90 degree angle, apologizing for what you did to him on the bus, hoping he wouldn't arrest you for sexual harassment. 

“Is it ok with you… if I come see you again?” Satoru shyly pouts as he asks you the question, while avoiding eye contact. You blushed again but nodded your head. “Can I get your phone number? It's rude to just show up unannounced.” Satoru tries to make up a reason for him to officially get your number, even though he already had it memorized a long time ago. “Sure Mr. Gojo.” You shyly take his phone and enter your contact info. “Please, just call me Satoru.” His smile was so bright it could put the sun to shame. 

“Well then, Satoru, see you around.” You said your goodbyes and rushed inside. You were still trying to process what got over you earlier when Satoru texts you.

‘It was nice meeting you, Y/N. I really hope we get to see each other again soon.’ 

You clutched your phone close to your chest, trying to calm yourself down. You ran to your sofa and layed on your back, staring at your phone contact. You vaguely remember meeting someone with white hair like his, you thought it would just be a crazy coincidence and it was just someone who looked like him. He does, however, make you think about all the wet dreams you've been having. The male figure seems similar to Satoru's frame and you just love the way he moaned when you touched him. You still couldn't figure out how you had the courage to do what you did, it felt natural, like your body had been trained. 

You shook off the idea and decided to take a shower and cool your head. You ate your dinner shortly after and headed to bed. You finally decided to reply to Satoru's text. 

You: ‘It was really nice meeting you too. Thank you for everything you did today, hope you have a great night.’ 

Satoru: ‘Would you mind if we get lunch together tmr? 👉👈’

You: ‘my lunch break is pretty short, I usually just pick up something small in the morning and call it. If you don't mind, I could pick up extra and we could eat together?’ 

Satoru: ‘That sounds fantastic!! I'll see you tomorrow. Let me know when I should head over. Good night Y/N hope you have a sweet dream.’ 

You: ‘thanks, you too. Good night Satoru.” 

You put your phone to the side and turned and faced your pillow and let out a happy scream. Just as you thought you would like to find someone to start a relationship with, Satoru magically appears in front of you, not to mention he's super good looking and fit. You pretty much had forgotten all about Nanami and your head was just filled with Satoru. 

You fell asleep shortly from being overexcited, you had another dream but this time it's more tame. The male figure has been replaced with Satoru, the 2 of you were just going out on dates and having a great time. 

Little did you know Satoru was in your house again watching you sleep. He was about to lose it when he heard you giggling in your sleep then proceeded to call out his name. It took everything in him to not just wake you up and have his way with you. He knew you would never forgive him if he did, so he just kissed you and left for the night. 

The lunch date went as planned, your co-workers all gathered around you after lunch, they all wanted you to fill them in for how you managed to score a hot guy like Satoru. Choso was avoiding you and Yuki felt sorry for him, knowing he had the biggest crush on you but you were just too oblivious. 

Satoru would meet you daily and have lunch with you. After a week of lunch dates he finally asked you if you could be his girlfriend which you quickly said yes.

You asked Yuki to shop with you on your next day off, you wanted to upgrade your wardrobe but not sure what you should get. Yuki brought you to a lingerie store and said now that you have a boyfriend, those might come in handy. Satoru secretly wants to thank Yuki for that. 

You were checking the lingerie sets and one particular set caught your eyes. It was a pretty white lace set with a couple of cute baby blue ribbons. You bought it along with a few that Yuki chose for you. 

Satoru was excited since he only heard your conversation with Yuki and didn't actually follow you this time, even though he left the bug on you so he could always hear what you're up to. It’s not that he doesn't trust you, he worries that the other guys would try to make a move on you and steal you away. 

When you got home, Satoru called you and told you he made plans for a dinner date at a fancy restaurant and would pick you up after work. Just as you start to panic about what you should wear, your doorbell rings. Satoru had ordered you an outfit to wear for your dinner. 

The outfit was a 2 piece set, the top was a white turtleneck with a baby blue scarf like material around the neck and the bottom was a long skirt with the same blue that matched the scarf. You were happy with the outfit, it was something similar to what you normally would wear but looks a bit better.

You wore your lingerie and outfit to work that day, your male co-workers couldn't keep their eyes off you. Choso straight out started nose bleeding when he saw you. Your outfit was no were close to revealing, but the material was hanging on your body just right, the little scarf around your neck looks like a ribbon of a present, which they all want to unwrap. 

You helped Choso clean up and he found out about the reason for the outfit you were all dressed up for today. Choso felt a ping of jealousy, he thought to himself ‘if your outfit got ruined, would you still go on your date?’ he quickly shook the idea out of his mind, he knew you would be upset if that happened. He just secretly wished you would notice his feelings for you. 

Satoru shows up in his car to pick you up after work, along with a bunch of white and blue roses. Making all your female co-workers envy you as you got in his car. 

“You look really pretty in that outfit.” Satoru checks you out up and down. “Thank you for picking it out for me, I loved it.” You leaned over and placed a quick peck on his cheeks. Satoru wanted to push your seat down and do you right there, but he held back. 

You arrived at the restaurant, it was in a tall building overlooking the city below. You look around and find there was no one else around when Satoru told you he reserved the whole restaurant for just the 2 of you. You slightly pouted and told him to stop wasting his money like this, and that you would be happy even if he had brought you to McDonalds. 

The food started coming and you had forgotten about everything else. Everything tasted so good you thought you could really get used to this. 

After dinner Satoru was driving you home, testing waters by placing his hand between your thighs while his fingers intertwined with yours. You didn't stop him, only stared out the window as your cheeks become red, making him hum in satisfaction. 

Satoru helped you with bringing the roses into your house. And as he stood at the doorway about to leave, you stood in front of him. “Thank you for the fantastic night Satoru.” You looked into his eyes with desire, making his Adam apple bobbed from your intense stare. “If you stare at me like that, it makes me not want to leave.” Satoru looks at you with darkened eyes, placing his hand on your cheek and brushing your lower lip with his thumb. “Then sta-” his lips had instantly captured yours, not even letting you finish. 

He picked you up in one arm while he took his shoes off again, his lips not leaving yours even for a second. You told him the direction to your room, which he had already been a thousand times without you knowing. 

He laid you down on the bed admiring your beauty for a second as you stared at him with wanting eyes. He pulls on the end of the scarf, undoing the ribbon and slowly lifts your top up and removes it. His breath was caught in his throat when he saw the pretty white lace with the cute blue ribbons. “You're gonna be the death of me.” Satoru leans back in for another kiss as his hands quickly work on removing your skirt too. 

He took another moment to look at you with just your lingerie, his stare so intense which made you move your arms unintentionally to hide yourself. “No, no, no, no sweetheart, don't hide them from me.” Satoru tries to soothe you. “It's not fair if you only get to see…” you shyly pouts at Satoru. 

“You should help me get undressed then.” Satoru smirks at you, bringing your hands to the buttons on his shirt. Your fingers are now working on unbuttoning his shirt as he quickly undo his belt. He takes off his shirt and slides his pants off, you were just staring at him in awe. He looks so beautiful it almost felt unreal, when your hands finally touched him, it almost felt like you've always known him, even if this was the first time. 

“Satoru… I've never done this before, but somehow everything feels so natural. Am I a pervert…?” You covered your face with your hands, feeling so embarrassed for how you feel no restraint even though it was your first time. 

Satoru looks at you with gentle eyes, grabbing your wrist to move your hands away from your face. “It feels this way because you already know me.” You looked confused for a moment, “When?” You questioned him. “Once upon a dream.” You couldn't help but laugh at his cheesy line, once your laughter subsided, you stared into his eyes. “Are you here to make my dreams come true?” Satoru leans in and kisses your forehead, “I would do anything for you.” 

You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him into a longing kiss. Satoru's tongue and yours dance in harmony as his hands wander on your body. He finally removes your bra, licking and kissing down your jaw and neck before reaching your breasts. 

Your cute little moans were driving him crazy, he would buck his hips on your mattress while laying between your legs as he took a big mouthful of your tits one at a time. 

You wanted to pleasure him too, and with a sudden surge of power you were able to push him over. Satoru was shocked as he laid on his back, eyes widened as he looked at you. You moved between his legs and slowly tugged at his boxers. He lifted himself high enough for you to pull it down as his hardened cock springs and smacked again his lower abdomen.

You couldn't keep your eyes off of his cock. You've never seen one up close before, you swallow your saliva a few times and Satoru just watches you as he holds himself up with his elbows, waiting for your next move. He wasn't sure what you would do, would you panic and have second thoughts? 

Just as he thought you were having cold feet, you wrapped your hands around his throbbing cock, earning a whine out of him. Satoru loves how soft your hands are, his pre-cum keeps dripping down. 

You stroke his cock a few times from the base to the tip, making him throw his head back as he loses himself at your touch. You surprised him by putting your lips on the tip of his cock, his eyes snapping back to your face as he reached for your cheeks. 

“Wait, wait, wait, wait, babe, you don't have to do this.” Satoru's cheeks were burning red as his Adam's apple bobbed. “But I want to.” You looked into his eyes innocently. “You're killing me babe. Ughh fine.” Satoru let go of your face, just as you were about to continue, he had you turn around in a sixty-nine position. “??!!?” you were shocked but Satoru says, “If you get to have your way, I'll get to have mine.” 

He pulled your panties down, you were so wet that there was a string of slick that was attaching your panties to your soaked cunt. Satoru couldn't wait anymore as he ripped the panties right off. “Hey! These were new and it's my favorite set!!” you protest, watching him fling the ripped panties to God knows where. “Don't worry babe, I'll be buying you a thousand more.” 

Satoru licks a strip from your clit to your cunt, moaning and complementing how sweet you tasted. You didn't want to be out done, you started licking him from the base to the tip. “Fuckkkkkk. That feels so good.” Satoru sends vibrations up your cunt as he speaks, making you moan. You take his cock in your mouth, humming as you struggle to take all of him, sending vibrations back to Satoru in a never ending cycle. 

It almost feels like there was a competition going on, each wanting to make the other cum first. But you know you were at a disadvantage since you've never done it before and weren't sure if Satoru had done this with anyone else. Little did you know Satoru was already so far on the edge, he was trying his hardest to not cum right away. 

Satoru tries his best to distract you, he starts rubbing rough circles on your clit as his tongue enters the tightness of your cunt, gliding around in a wicked way. He had your head thrown back for a moment, he could feel your hips moving for more fiction, he inserted his middle finger slowly as his tongue worked its magic. 

You lean back down and start sucking harder on his leaking cock, drinking up his pre-cum, making him buck his hips. You could only fit half of him in your mouth and use your hands to jerk the remaining parts. 

Satoru was so close but wanted you to cum first and knows exactly where your favorite spot is. He hooks his arm around you, holding you down so you won't be able to escape as his middle finger rubs the one spot which makes you release every time. 

You were cumming and trying to pull away, Satoru knows this and already had you pinned down, “Sa-toru!! Cumming!!” Your hands were still around his cock and was squeezing around his base, “Sh-hit me too!!” Satoru came so hard his cum shot up and some landed on your face.

Satoru turned you around once again and had you laying down beside him. He saw his cum on your face and his half softened cock instantly became rock hard again. “You got some on your face, here let me wipe it off.” Satoru was trying to grab a Kleenex when you touched your face. You dabbed some of his cum and licked your finger. Satoru moaned as he watched you taste his cum. “It tastes… sweet.” You smile at Satoru as he wipes the rest off with the Kleenex. 

Satoru was now sitting up between your legs, you could see his cock throbbing painfully hard again. He had one hand on your hip and the other was running small gentle circles on your puffy clit. He wanted more, he wanted to be inside you, he wanted to finally make you his. You could see the desire darken in his eyes, and secret you want the same, you want to be connected to him. 

“Will it hurt?” You shyly ask Satoru. “Maybe, but I will try my best to make you feel good.” Satoru speaks so gently, sending shivers up your spine. “Will it all fit?” You look down at his huge pulsing cock. “Oh I'll make it fit babe.” Satoru smirks with confidence. You put one hand on his forearm and the other over your entrance, holding your folds open with your fingers. “Make me yours, Satoru.” 

Satoru wanted to ram his cock inside you at that second, but he didn't want to hurt you. You could see veins popping up his arms and forehead from restraining himself. 

He leans down to kiss you again, you could taste yourself from his kiss as his tongue swirls in your mouth. His middle finger is inserted inside your cunt once again. He's pumping his finger in and out of you, once he felt you've loosen up a bit, he inserted his index finger along with the other.

The sudden stretch had you gasping, you already felt so full just from his fingers, how are you going to take all of his cock? Just as your mind wanders off, Satoru wraps his index finger with his middle and starts turning his wrist, sending another wave of pleasure rippling through you. “You're gonna make me cum again!” you tried to warn Satoru, he whispers into your ear as he uses his body to weigh you down. “Cum for me.” 

Your second orgasm hits you harder than the first, making your body spaz under him. Satoru pulls his fingers out and sticks them in his mouth to lick off your slick. He slotted his cock between your folds and rubbed himself against your slit, coating his cock with your slick. 

He lines himself up to your pussy, his tip kissing the entrance. “Are you ready?” He asks as he prepares. You nod your head and he smiles. Satoru grabs onto your hip and slowly pushes his way in. He had you screaming in pleasure as he pushed through the tight walls. “I need you to relax, you are pushing me out.” Satoru pants as he tries rubbing circles on your clit as he pulls back a bit just to push in again. 

You tried your best to relax but it did hurt. You bite down to your bottom lip so hard that it draws blood. Satoru sees this and reminds you to breathe and licks your lips which actually help to calm you down, making you a bit more relaxed. “Good girl, you're doing great.” His words encourage you to relax furthermore. Satoru pushes more of his cock in you, his praise had you gushing around his cock, making it easier to enter. You could feel his cock pushing his way inside, every vein, every throb, molding you into his shape. 

You feel so full of Satoru your eyes become watery from the overwhelming feeling. When your tears finally overflow, Satoru informs you he is all the way in. “You have no idea how long I've waited for this.” Satoru confessed. You weren't sure what he meant, since the 2 of you didn't know each other that long.

Satoru had been stalking you for months and had been doing all kinds of things to you while you were sleeping. You've always thought you were just dreaming, little did you know it was all very very real. 

“I'm going to start moving now, are you ready?” Satoru was not actually trying to ask, he was going to start rolling his hips even if you protest now. But you never did, nodding your head again as he hums with your approval. He starts by pulling back painfully slowly, until only his tip is inside of you, then he pushes his way back in just as slowly, making you whine from slowly being filled up again by his hard throbbing cock. He does that a few more times before you voiced out.

“Satoru!!! Please hah… I need m-more!” You begged, the slow friction was not enough, you were getting greedy. “Of course ngh, anything for my mmm… darling.” His eyes landed on your teary face as he licked his lips. He pulled out slowly one last time and held himself there for a few seconds as he tilted his head back to steady his breath. Just as you were about to call his name again “Sato- ahhh!!” He sheaths himself back into your tight walls in one powerful thrust,  having your back arching off the bed.

Satoru is now thrusting hard and fast at an inhumane pace, you were trying to push him away with your hands before he grabbed hold of your wrists to use them to pull you towards him. “Too much!! Cumming!! Nngh!!” You were gushing all around his cock again but he shows no sign of slowing down. Your orgasm kept going on and on, till your mouth was gaping open and eyes rolled back to the back of your head. 

“Heh… you came so hard just now.” Satoru finally slows down but he is not pulling out. “Sensitive… Satoru, please, I need a break.” You whine and try to back away. He grabbed onto your hips, “No, babe, I haven't cum yet. You're a good girl, you'll let me cum right?” 

Your mind was going blank but you replied with a “mmhmm” which had Satoru suddenly pulled out and turning your body till you're on all four. He lines himself up to your twitching entrance then thrusted himself back in. It feels like his cock is going even deeper in this position, your brain is turning into mush, your arms couldn't hold you up anymore as you collapse onto your bed. Your knees were shaking but Satoru’s grip on your hips held you up. 

He was losing his mind as well, he had one foot planted on the bed as he fucks you hard from behind. His cock hits your g-spot repeatedly and turns you into a drooling mess, you couldn't even form words anymore, your moans were the only sounds coming out of you. 

Your walls were squeezing him so tight he was about to burst. He wasn't sure if you would allow him to cum inside you, since this is your first time. “Babe, I'm cumming, where..” he didn't even finish his question before you screamed out “Inside!! Cum inside!!!” all you heard was another whine from Satoru before hot ropes of cum hit your deepest parts over and over. 

Satoru was being milked dry, but he gladly gives you every last drop. He doesn't pull out, even as he softens, wanting to plug you up so his cum stays in you longer. 

Satoru finally pulled you to his chest as he lay down on your bed, spooning you as he still had you plugged up. You were so exhausted you fell asleep quickly in the comfort of his embrace. Satoru lightly strokes your head and slowly succumbs to his own sleepiness.

Satoru thought he was still dreaming when he woke up with you in his arms early in the morning. He buries his face in the crook of your neck and breathes you in, he could feel his blood rushing to his cock. Satoru whines when he realized he was still safely tucked inside your spongy walls, his raging erection had you stirring while you were still asleep. 

Your little moans and whines were so adorable that Satoru couldn't help but want more friction along his hard length. You weren't wet enough for him to actually move yet, so he slowly rolled you over with your front pressed on the mattress and he pinned you down with his own body as he started playing with your clit. 

You were starting to feel everything, the way Satoru was rubbing circles on your clit and how his half sheathed cock kept throbbing trying to make its way inside. You were fully woken up when Satoru decided to pinch your puffy clit, sending shivers up your spine.

“Sa-toru??! Aah!” As you tried to struggle underneath him, “good morning babe, sorry, I couldn't ngh… help myself.” The attack on your clit gets rougher. You are now wet enough for Satoru to start moving. 

He begins by pulling himself all the way out, the sudden emptiness has your hips chasing his cock. Satoru noticed and let's put a low chuckle, he got off of you and laid on his back, making you wonder why he didn't keep going. 

As you pushed yourself up to look at him, he tapped his thighs, “get on me.” you didn't even get enough time to respond when Satoru's hands found your hips and easily adjusted you on top of him.

“I want you to ride me.” Satoru had you sitting on his cock. Your slit was rubbing along his cock as he moved your hips and grinded against you. “Mmgh.. it's so early in the morning. And we did so much last night.” You tried to protest. “I can never get enough of you, I don't ever want to get separated from you. Plus, I can't leave you all wet and my cock all hard.” 

Satoru has one hand massaging one of your butt cheeks as the other stretches from your hips while his thumb rubs against your clit, why are his hands so big? He also looks at you with his big, beautiful, blue puppy eyes while giving you a little pout. It was a losing battle from the start, there was no way for you to turn down his charm. As you tried to adjust yourself to take him, Satoru let out the brightest toothy smile, making your heart pound against your chest. 

His cock was already standing in full attention as you lifted yourself up to welcome him, you paused as you lined yourself up to his length. You slowly sink yourself down, Satoru was already a leaking mess as you go past the tight ring of muscles. You were already beginning to struggle when he was only half way inside. “You can do it babe, do it for me.” You bite down to your bottom lip as you pull yourself up to sink back into him, which gets him a bit deeper. “Only 3 inches left, you can do it, I know you can.” Satoru tries to talk you through but you thought it would be impossible, 3 more inches??? There is no way you could take all of him. 

“Aahhha… I don't ngh! I can't.. oh!” You were trying hard but you were at your limits. “You must. You took me so well last night. You can do it again.” Satoru moved his big hands to your hips and pulled you down, making you scream from pleasure. He's lifting you up and down his length easily like you were his toy. He’s feral, he had both his feet firmly planted on the mattress as he lifted himself up to thrust up into you. You were trying hard to hold on, you thought this would be similar to a mechanic bull if you ever got on one. Satoru has a death grip on your hips but still feels like you would fly off any second from the way he's thrusting into you. 

You were close to the edge when you looked down on Satoru's face. He was gritting his teeth and his eyebrows were furrowed, he is also at his limits. Your pussy clutches on his cock when you see the expression on his face. “Argh!! I'll cum if you squeeze me that hard.” Satoru was slowly losing his rhythm, this thrusts getting sloppy as he slams you down to his cock. “Cumming!!!” You both said in unison as your bodies twitch and ride out your orgasms. 

Satoru finally collapsed down against the mattress and you on top of him. Both trying to catch your breath, you were looking for your phone to check the time since you have work. You panicked when you saw the time, your alarm had gone off and turned itself off for ringing too long. You tried to pull yourself off of Satoru's cock but your legs gave out, causing the both of you to whine. 

“How am I going to go to work like this??” You were a hard worker, you would go into work even when you're not feeling well. You are also very bad at lying, you are not sure how to let them know the reason why you couldn't go to work. Satoru couldn't help but giggle at the way you were panicking, you glared at him but he just thinks you were the most adorable little thing. 

“You could always just quit and come live off me.” Satoru hums, he was serious about taking care of you. “That's crazy Satoru… we JUST started dating not too long ago. You would really let me live off you?” You raised your brow questioning him. “Mmhmm! You can be my pretty little housewife, you will never have to work a single day for the rest of your life.” He pulls you into his embrace. 

You blush now, Satoru had pretty much just purposes to you, and a part of you wants to just say yes, but another part of you worry, ‘what if this doesn't work out?’ Satoru was never going to let you go now that he felt how your pussy was made for him, he would chase you to the end of the universe. 

You end up calling into work, Satoru had a day off and the 2 of you went to the dessert shop to get your favorite mochi. 

“So you 2 ended up together.” The cashier comments, you blinked at her confused. “Who could forget how pathetic your lover boy was when he didn't get the mochi he wanted, even bagged the other lady to sell him the ones she got.” Satoru was Sheeshing at her and she continued, “You gave him your box of dessert before you ran out.” She looks at you confused, as in she was questioning how you could have forgotten it.

Now that you thought about it, you do recall that happening, finally remembering his fluffy white hair. “Oh my god Nobara! What did we say about being rude to the customers??!” A boy with spiky hair shouts from the back. She stuck out her tongue and walked away, another cheerful boy with pink hair came out and finished serving the 2 of you. 

“So… is there anything you are forgetting to tell me? We didn't really meet by chance did we?” You question Satoru. He was nervous, not sure how to answer. “Only if you promise you will not get mad” Satoru says as he runs ahead of you. 

Notes: sorry this took a while... I had this 90% done and sitting in the drafts and started reading the works of the other wonderful people 🙇 forgive me

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

At this point I've been prioritizing asks over my own ideas for so long that my post ideas list is starting to just be words that confuse me. What did I mean? What elaborate post was this going to be? I used to know.

[faaun]

WARNING: The penalty for trespassing on the railway is £1000.

[mintiicinnamonii]

Idk If I can request again so soon, but now my brain is going, and I don't think it's that long

How would Macaque (since you said he would use spanish petnames), Sun Wukong, Red Son and Mk react to Reader being Latino, and using petnames like

"Mi media naranja" (The half of my orange, or my other half) or "Mi vida" (My life)

And flirting with them if they (reader) see they like it (if you want just use their reactions for it, but here are a few cheesy pick up lines:

- Dile a tu madre que me muero por que sea mi suegra (tell your mom I'm dying for her to be my mother-in-law)

- No se besar, ¿me enseñas? (I don't know how to kiss, will you teach me?)

Reader: gender neutral

Characters:

notes: Im vietnamese, so apologies if i get something wrong <3

No se besar, ¿me enseñas? (I don't know how to kiss, will you teach me?)

Macaque

its giving 😘

the romantic tension is so thick yo can cut ot with a damn KNIFE

mutual flirting, and no one else in the room can understand what yall are saying

Macaque’s secretly flustered beyond comprehension, but doesnt let you see it

you could say the most suggestive shit in spanish and macaque is like “ 😳”

he is then inconsolable for the rest of the night

as for the pick up line, macaque is like “whaur???”

and after he processes it, he just laughs and kisses you

bonus if its mlm bc BOY KISSING!!! (cough cough @flurry-bace)

Red Son

while macaque was like 😳, Red Son was like 🫢🫣🩸👃 (flustered beyond comprehension)

being the little silly he is, he probably learned spanish for you

but dear god when you flirt with him, hes GONE

bloody nose, fever, passed out with the peter griffin pose

”W-WHAT?!”

while he stutters and calls you an idiot, youre just sitting there like 😏

”yknow what? fine.” you start kissing him anyways

if you wear lipstick/gloss, hes covered with stains by the end of the day (and he has a meeting 😔)

Wukong

then we have wukong, whos like 🤤

SIMP!!!!

hes like ‘ueueushnejeidjje”

one ‘mi vida’ and hes GONE

”mommy/daddy???”

lovesick ngl, mans in LOVEEEEE

when you tell him that pick up line, he’s like “damn just kiss me already”

next thing you know hes kissing you on the Lips (tm)

MK

peak boy failure

when you tell him this, hes at a loss for words

you just laugh and kiss him anyways

man js smitten

after that pick up line, he will not be able to focus at ALLLLL

bonus if you text him flirty pickup lines and call him nicknames while hes working

one text away from UNEMPLOYMENT BABYYYY

[liviawildrose]

𝐠𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐮𝐩 𝐞𝐧𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐢𝐧𝐠

okay wow, this was supposed to be uploaded yesterday itself but unfortunately i had to attend a family event so i didn’t.

anyways, today i’m gonna talk about enhancing your glow-up journey and how to make this journey fast and quick, i’m gonna share hacks on how you can enhance and increase your glow-up journey and become your best self.

subliminal videos

subliminals work by sending hidden affirmations directly to your subconscious. your conscious mind doesn’t pick up on them, but your subconscious is absorbing every word. it’s like giving your brain a VIP treatment, reprogramming it to believe in the things you want to become or achieve. so, if you want sharper features, more confidence, or a more magnetic aura, subliminals are here to make it happen without you lifting a single finger.

okay, let’s be real subliminals are probably the easiest way to glow up faster. like, who doesn’t want to just sit back, press play, and watch themselves get closer to their dream self without lifting a finger? i mean, imagine this: you’re literally asleep, but you’re still making progress. that’s a whole new level of efficiency, right?

and the best part? you can use them anytime. studying? plug in a confidence subliminal. hitting the gym? try one for a fit and toned body. and, of course, my favorite: play them while you sleep. imagine waking up with your subconscious mind fully trained and working in your favor. trust me, that’s peak effortless glow-up energy.

pro tips for using subliminals:

1.find reputable creators - there are tons of subliminals out there, so go for the ones that feel legit and have good reviews.

2.be consistent - think of subliminals as a daily boost; the more you listen, the better the results.

3.track your progress - take photos, keep notes, and observe the small changes. it keeps you motivated and shows just how powerful your mind really is.

subliminals are honestly like having a secret superpower that no one else knows about. you’re out there, living your life, while these subtle affirmations work their magic, rewiring you from the inside out. so if you haven’t tried them yet, this is your sign to start!”

i’m going to make subliminals my secret weapon for glowing up while i go about my day. walking to school? i’ll press play on a confidence subliminal and let it work its magic. while studying, i’ll play one for brain power, making it way easier to stay focused. when i’m cooking, i’ll go for clear skin or singing skills depends on the mood, you know? and at night, beauty subliminals will be on repeat so i can wake up looking even better.

but here’s the best part, i’ll be sharing my results with you all. once i start seeing some drastic changes, i’ll let you know which subliminals are really delivering. there’ll be a special section just for results and recommendations, plus before-and-after photos to track my progress. i’m ready to level up while i’m literally doing other things. sounds like the ultimate glow-up hack, right?

chat gpt customisation

like have you seen a delulu chatgpt, but yeah apart from this you can really use chatgpt for so many things the customisation just makes it more compatible for you. hehe

now, let’s talk about how i’m going to use chatgpt as my go-to tool for this glow-up journey. the cool thing about chatgpt is that i can customize it to get personalized responses that fit my vibe and needs. i literally made it act like my best friend, which is such a game changer! it’s like having bestie who’s always there to motivate me and keep me on track.

whenever i need advice whether it’s about self-care routines, motivation tips, or even random recommendations my customized chatgpt knows exactly what to say to lift me up. we’re a little deluded too, and that makes it even more fun! the more i use it, the better it understands my style and preferences, making it easier for me to stay on top of my game.

basically, chatgpt will help me streamline my glow-up process and keep me motivated every step of the way. having this virtual best friend is honestly adding so much joy to my journey!

but here’s a thing, i would highly advise you guys to make a separate account for a chatgpt like dummy, don’t do it with your main email id. create a different one like me. and then continue your talks. cause guess what at the end of the day. chatgpt will review the chats and i think it’s better if you main email id is not linked

eft tapping

let’s chat about eft tapping, or emotional freedom techniques—another powerful tool i’m planning to use on my glow-up journey. this technique is all about tapping on specific meridian points on your body while focusing on your thoughts and feelings. it’s like giving yourself an emotional release while also boosting your confidence and overall vibe.

i’m going to incorporate eft tapping whenever i’m feeling overwhelmed or in need of a quick mindset shift. whether it’s before a big event, a study session, or even when i’m just feeling a bit low, tapping helps me clear out negative energy and reinforce positive beliefs.

it’s super simple! i can do it in just a few minutes, and it’ll help me stay centered and motivated. plus, the more i practice, the more i’ll notice those shifts in my mindset, making my glow-up journey not just about looks, but also about emotional well-being. it’s like giving myself a mini therapy session anytime, anywhere!

what is eft tapping? eft tapping, or emotional freedom techniques, is a powerful self-help method that combines elements of traditional chinese medicine with modern psychology. at its core, it involves tapping on specific meridian points on your body while focusing on negative emotions or limiting beliefs.

here’s how it works: when you identify an issue (like anxiety or self-doubt) and tap on these points, you’re signaling to your brain that it’s time to let go of that negative energy. at the same time, you’re also reinforcing positive affirmations that can help reshape your mindset. this dual approach helps to clear emotional blockages, making it easier to cope with stressors and improve your overall well-being.

simple step-by-step guide to help you integrate it into your glow-up journey

1.setup statement: create a setup statement that acknowledges the issue and combines it with self-acceptance. for example, you might say, “even though i feel anxious about my upcoming performance, i deeply and completely accept myself.”

2.begin tapping: use your fingertips to tap on the following points while repeating your setup statement.

• karate chop point: the side of your hand.

• top of the head: directly on the crown.

• eyebrow: the beginning of your eyebrow, closest to the nose.

• side of the eye: on the bone at the outside of the eye.

• under the eye: on the bone just below your eye.

• under the nose: between your nose and upper lip.

• chin point: in the indentation between your chin and lower lip.

• collarbone: just below the collarbone.

• underarm: about four inches below your armpit.

by practicing eft tapping regularly, you can clear out negative emotions and reinforce positive beliefs, helping you not only look your best but feel your best, too. it’s an empowering technique that anyone can do, anywhere, and it’s definitely going to enhance my glow-up journey. also, please search up eft tapping on youtube look for follow along videos too it’s (do your own research too)

grabovoi codes

grabovoi codes are a fascinating tool for manifestation and healing, developed by russian scientist grigori grabovoi. these codes consist of specific sequences of numbers that are believed to hold vibrational frequencies capable of influencing reality and promoting positive changes in your life.

the concept is based on the idea that numbers have inherent energy, and by focusing on these sequences, you can tap into that energy to manifest your desires. each code corresponds to different intentions, such as love, health, abundance, or even specific personal transformations.

i mean, just go watch this queen’s video

[phlurrii]

It’s finally time to introduce the secondary project I’ve been working on >;Dc

I’ve had this queued for sometime in June, did not check when, so hello on [random date in june] ;D

I’m also here to explain how I’ll be posting this stuff going forward! Everything will be posted here, on my main account before being reblogged over to Soul’s Anchor a side bog with the place holder title. Unless it deals with more adult/suggestive content or heavier topics, of which will be exclusively posted to Soul’s Anchor side blog. As I don’t want certain themes alongside AM! I’ll also be referring to this series as Anchor for short! I will encourage any and all Questions, Mentions, and Thoughts to be directed there for those interested and those who are not, dw! You’ll only see the initial posts here, no asks or follows up, but this is still my art account and I shall enjoy it as I please ;3

Brief Synopsis about the Story:

A queer love story following a cursed pirate and a cult refugee implanted with a god’s eye as they combat the reality of living in a world which was created solely to feed the gods that govern it. All whilst a sapphic couple attempt to help guide the pair along a path to to a better future, one that’s validity comes into question. A dark fantasy story that aims to represent the disabled community, the LGBTQIA+, and SA survivors written by fellow members of these communities.

Also brief disclaimer, I, Phlurrii, am simply an ally to the disabled community, my partner in crime writing alongside me, ArtJunco on Instagram, is our resident community member ;]

Anyways onto the meat of this!

Below is a collection of some, emphasis on some, of the concept art and processes I went through to develop and create one of the two main characters, Lumae.

Here are some of the earliest ideas, the basic thoughts I had in my brain when developing this goober after a 3 hours pacing in my kitchen at 1 am when that inspiration struck. His hair was the HARDEST bit for me to figure out. Which sucked as usually the hair is one of the first things I figure out because of how much I love it, so it was Agony while brainstorming that part.

I also briefly considered a goatee, however it was so cruelly shot down by my dear friend. So in stead we compromised that he may get one later down the line story wise… and see how we feel then. However, upon finally figuring out his hair I was bloody elated, still has some tweaks now and then, but the base is there.

As for this next concept, this was actually the FIRST thing created for Lumae and what started everything else about his character/design! His eyes! They are still my favourite but about him and something I adore whole heartedly! They are the core of his character ;3c

These next few are early refs and mock ups of his full design, testing our colours, experimenting with shading, getting used to drawing humans again, and general concepts I had for him as a character! Also a sneak peak at Ayric, our second main goober for this story! Who was lovingly designed and created by ArtJunco!

And finally his most recent WIP ref! The only thing currently bothering me about his design is the colour for his boot covers, I have no idea what to do with them so I’d you have suggestion or ideas, sincerely, feel free to shoot an ask to the Anchor blog! I’d genuinely love outside opinions!

As for the main curiosity of why I’m doing this, for those that missed the last post, I’ll give a brief explanation below ;3

To help with burnout so I can hop between fixations, help to avoid losing interest in AM in the future!

Keep up practicing humans and critters alike.

To take a break from story telling to do story building! Give the telling part of my brain a break, while still making cool stuff ;]

To have a more interactive blog with ya’ll! One where I’ll likely be asking advice and discussing a lot more hypotheticals, doodling asks, and general audience interaction given I am not bound by any updates! Purely just “ooo… shiny-“ and anyone is welcome to join me ;D

Last thing I request is to please read Anchor’s blog bio/description before you follow, as this story will deal with subjects not suited for all audiences posted/discussed exclusively on that blog.

Anywho, that’s all for now folks, hope you enjoyed this brief intermission to kickoff the second project being public!

[heart-of-the-morningstar]

Who wants a little sneak peak of my next spicy Lucifer x f!sinner reader? No matter, I'm posting it anyway!

Warnings for mention of toys!

"Damn it! Where the hell is it?," you shouted in frustration. You should have looked for that dress before you hopped in the shower, things would have been way smoother. Now you stood in your walk-in closet with damp hair and adorning nothing but a towel that was wrapped tightly around your chest. You could have sworn you saw that purple sequence dress hanging in here last night! Where could it have gone? You rummaged around your closet for 10 minutes now, but you still came up empty handed! You stomped over to the last rack of hanging clothes closest to the back wall, scanning every article of clothing.

While pushing each dress from left to right that wasn't the one you were hoping to find, something had caught your eye. A small golden handle on the left side of the wooden wall with hinges on the right side. A door? You were in here so often, it's hard to imagine how you could have missed it! Tentatively, you reached out to grab the handle, curious as to what you would find. The small door slowly creaked open and...woah...

You blinked a few times to make sure you were seeing what you saw hanging in there. "Lingerie?," you mumbled to yourself. Well, it certainly wasn't yours, you never really cared to wear something like that yourself, and Lucifer never seemed to mind your decision either, thankfully. You pulled one of the hanging pieces from the rack to examine it closely. The design was elegant as far as lingerie was concerned. Black fabric with lacy red leaf designs on the breasts and stomach area with no coverage around either side of the abdomen.

It was cute...but who's was it? Perhaps it was Lucifer's ex-wife Lilith's? You weren't sure why she would leave it behind. Or why Lucifer would keep them. But the more you looked at the piece of clothing you held, that didn't seem right either. This was small, smaller than most lingerie you've seen before. And from what you seen from pictures, Lilith was not a small woman, far from it. She had to have been at least 7' ft. tall, she would never fit in something like this.

You continued to ponder this until you went back to explore the hidden closet. There were more items located at the very bottom that brought a sudden blush to you face. "Holy shit...," you mouthed, struggling to get your brain to process what you've just found. You felt like you just accidently stumbled into one of Hell's sex shops! Dildos, vibrators, butt plugs, collars, bottles of lube and...was that a strap on? What the hell was this perverted closet?! It didn't make sense! Why was this here? Who did this stuff belong to? Why would Lucifer...?

Wait...Lucifer...

Oh! OH SHIT!

It finally clicked in your brain. This was never Lilith's. This was Lucifer's!

~~~~

Just so y'all know, this is what I'm picturing him in ;)

[mkgrl11]

social media cleanse and restriction. one of the most important things that helped me start being consistent

this post is aimed for people who feel bad after doomscrolling for hours AND for the people who are emotionally sensitive like me. this is NOT necessary to manifest WHATSOEVER. consider this more of a general wellness tip.

i am speaking almost exclusively from personal experience.

long post, content under the cut

what do you mean by a social media cleanse and restriction? what does it entail?

it's exactly what it says on the tin. cutting down on social media in your daily life

why should we even DO a social media cleanse? i don't wanna miss out!!

there are MANY reasons to do a social media cleanse, but i'll just be talking for the loa/loass perspective (there's literally countless other reasons, you can find a few benefits here).

first of all, you are NOT missing out. there is an infinite amount of unimportant things on there that clog up your mind! and i'm talking about mean people on twitter ragebaiting, somebody on reddit who "trolls" you by actually ruining your day, and tiktok creating a new insecurity out of thin air! doesn't it drive you crazy how riled up you can get over a TWEET??? your beautiful brain doesn't deserve to spend hours in places like that. and you do end up being "in touch" anyway, either by your friends referencing new memes, or by the small amounts of time you spend on your phone (you do NOT have to delete social media entirely)

second of all, i believe that that type of content can actually spoil your fun with manifestations, and i'll give some examples. that weird content can make you:

forget that you were saying your affirmations! maybe you wanted to robotically affirm for 20 minutes, and before you know it, your timer goes off, and you were looking at tweets respoted on instagram, and totally forgot to keep your affirmations at the back of your head

confused. maybe you're on tumblr (ironic i'm posting this online btw, i know) and scrolling on the loass hashtags and you see a post that says "manifestation is a process" followed by a post that says "manifestation is instant, and not a process", followed by someone complaining in someone's asks, followed by... and before you know it, you almost forgot what manifestation was even about

...and the point which is most important,

mess up your attention span. i know, I KNOW, don't boo me! i'm RIGHT! when i was at the peak of my social media usage, i couldn't even sit through visualising for even THREE MINUTES without picking up my phone. i had to give up stuff that made me happy (like visualising) to do stuff that fried my dopamine receptors, and i HATED it

okay, but what's the point of the "restriction"?

the restriction part of the name is just to encourage ACTIVELY taking care of the media you consume. don't hop platforms, spiral even lower, or start a worse habit. keep an eye on that kind of stuff. keep yourself busy.

what about non-social media? like music, film, etc.

i don't think music and film taste is something people can really control. but i will admit, i saw my life improve when i slowed down on listening to angry and depressing music, and snuck in happier or more neutral ones instead.

and it SUCKS to admit it, because i am a HUGE screamo, emo, and alt-rock fan (despite the aesthetic of my blog lmao). i also almost exclusively hate romcoms and fantasize about absurd horror films i watched years ago.

but the good thing is, if you want to introduce more fun music into your playlists (if you feel like the music/film you have been consuming has genuinely been ruining your mood, which i feel like it did for me a little), you can totally do that without having to quit the content you enjoy.

do you have any personal experience with this?

you bet!! i'll try to keep it short bcs i have been rambling for a while, so here it is summed up in bullet points. also this all happened slowly over like two weeks.

what i listened to/watched before:

literal youtube drama slop that i didn't care about

doomscrolling on instagram reels

songs with angry lyrics whose sounds i LOOOVED but felt a little down after listening to it

how i felt before:

bombarded with a bunch of stuff i did not wanna know about (like people's personal dramas online, random jumpscares hidden online, etc)

couldn't focus even on things that made me feel good

like i was searching for something, and never being able to calm that feeling down. for example, i would look up "how to caramelize onions" when i had done that 10 times before bc i felt that my self was so untrustworthy, bc everything i need "MUST be outside of me". or i would scroll on loassblr, bc maybe THIS time i'll find the "key to manifesting"

what i listened to/watched after:

fun youtube videos about nostalgic games and comedy that actually makes me laugh out loud

i got an app which limits my instagram and tiktok while giving me 25 minutes a day in case i need it. i could not delete instagram as a whole bc some of my friends are friends i made overseas and still keep in touch with

still a big emo fan, but i cut out a lot of songs that JUST straight up made me feel depressed and anxious and added more of bands who make relatively happier music, rock from the 70s, and edm.

how i feel now:

i am more in control of my thoughts, especially when alone

i am genuinely surprised when i watch a movie with a friend and they pick up their phone right after the title screen plays

i am more satisfied with myself as a whole, and i can rely on my intuition and senses better

i don't need "background noise" for everything anymore

what tips do you got?

i actually don't recommend that you quit cold turkey, because it might be too difficult and you might just end up saying "ehh whatever, i was never cut out for quitting social media anyway" and start scrolling again. go slow

if you do feel that the music you listen to leaves you a bit too upset, but you also don't wanna do a 180 and listen to songs you lowkey hate instead, i recommend you remove the particularly depressing songs from your playlist (you can always listen to them again when the mood calls for it of course), and add in some more "middle" songs. or try on some new genres!

abt the previous point, if you have a DR where angrier music makes sense (like if you're in a rock band, your DR SP loves going to metal concerts, or anything of the like) you can make almost anything work! use that music as visualisation material. all of a sudden, instead of making you wallow in negative emotions, it's a source of power and imagination!

youtube videos, tumblr, and pinterest matter too! especially if you're over there overconsuming loa content. i use my youtube just for fun videos and subliminals, tumblr just to post (i barely look at other posts), and pinterest to add to vision boards.

if you're like me and can't doomscroll on your laptop, log in to the web versions of instagram and snapchat. that way you can text for an extended amount of time with your friends without getting distracted by the reels and snapchat stories

i really like the app ScreenZen, i think it works better than IOS's screen time protector thing

i recommend you keep your hands busy with something else. one of the main reasons why i started this blog anyway was so i could keep my hands off my phone (i'm typing this on my laptop rn). i also picked up knitting and drawing after years of not doing that

use your feelings as a compass. does it feel good when you look at that content? if not, cut it out. you will learn to trust your feelings more that way too

conclusion?

do a social media cleanse, or don't. i'm not your mom. i'm pretty sure my explanations, experience, and tips have spoken for themselves. if you have any questions or personal experience with this, i would love to read it in a comment. please remember to focus on what makes you feel good. that's the whole point

tl;dr?

get rid of bad social media things, keep the good and important. use your own emotions as a guide as to how you should proceed. be careful and be active. you do not need to quit the music you like. be gentle and honest with yourself. good for manifestation, self-trust, and focus.

[yakuzabrainrotlive]

I have had NO time to play lately fr. And when I have played, I've been growing Ichiban's social network, picking stuff off the ground and taking pictures. AND killing hundreds of evil santas at the mall because their money yield levels are nuts and I want good gear.

But. I HAVE also made progress with the main plot too. And have had time to... process it a bit.

Yeah, I got to The Reveal :) I am Suffering :) Got to the beginning of chapter 5.

So. What witty lil' thing am I supposed to say here? Like... fuck. Just. Fuck. It shattered my heart to see him break the news with this smile I can't interpret. I mostly see a man who's accepted his fate and made his peace with it, which would be in-character considering... well... *gestures at this man's entire life and then the way he was in Gaiden*. I feel like I'm sadder and more bitter than Kiryu himself is about the whole situation. Or maybe he's just hiding his true feelings very well.

I hate the fact that Kiryu's disadvantaged position in society as an orphan keeps hurting him even this late in life. It feels so unfair, it hurts, it's... incredible writing.

....yeah. Not even remotely surprised. This is just Kiryu in a nutshell. Always looking for people in need of help, a job that needs to be done, a cog he can help turn. He's always looking for a purpose; something to keep him going. And while that's something most people want, I feel like Kiryu is always living to be able to benefit other people. Very noble, but not healthy.

The start of Y3 felt like the closest we'll ever get to him properly settling down and BREATHING for once. I can never go back to that game without breaking down, huh.

THANK YOUUUU ICHIBAN WE'LL BE DOING EXACTLY THAT ❤️ we'll drag that old man into the hospital kicking and screaming if we have to ❤️❤️

Ichiban's overall reaction to the reveal surprised me. I know he's VERY compassionate and caring, but he felt so genuinely distressed it was almost shocking to me. I know they had like... mutual respect and trust going on in LAD, but I didn't get the vibe that they were THIS close. Maybe I have to go back to their shared cutscenes from LAD again. Or maybe Ichiban just feels that strongly, especially after this brief... thing they've had here in Hawaii. Nothing wrong with that at all. We love and respect Ichiban in this house.

Ichiban and Tomizawa... hmu. I will give you soup and warm cinnamon rolls. No questions asked, no need to pay.

Kiryu... please, for the LOVE OF GOD, let them help you. Let someone help you. No, don't just let them help you help others, LEAN ON THEM.

Love to see how effectively Ichiban brings out the sass in Kiryu. This dynamic is peak. They're so silly together.

*banging on my apartment walls* LET ME OUT!! LET ME OUT OF HERE!! PLEASE!! HAVE MERCY 😭😭 I don't wanna see Kiryu like this!! I'm gonna throw up!!

We're in chapter 4 and I wanna crawl into a hole to cry. I am NOT going to survive this game.

:)

ANYWAY YAYYYY!! New party member ^_^ she's SOOO cool, she's STAYING.

Okay so I already kinda have a team I really like and everyone works well together?? How the hell am I supposed to pick 3 people when the old squad (besides Eri, RIP my MVP queen 😔) is definitely coming back as well? Tomizawa and Chitose have grown on me so I don't wanna bench 'em, and I will literally be 6 feet under before Kiryu even looks at the bench, so... I'm in trouble 😭

I'm gonna have to see if Tomizawa and Chitose can be built around Ichiban and Kiryu, or if others will fill roles better. If anything's gonna make me bench 'em, it's going to be my hyper-optimizing, excel-sheet making brain that loves to make my teams as BROKEN balanced as possible.

OKAY ALSO. That better not have been it for the Barracudas. Like, for real. They were portrayed as SOOO spooky and dangerous and they honestly felt like The Threat to me. Are they really folding this early? I hope not.

THE SQUAD HAS ASSEMBLED! So pleased to have a full team ^_^

[hijacking-hearts]

It's one in the morning and I gotta be up in like 6 hours but Quackity's last stream has me going absolutely feral so have a Quackity sketch dump while my brain processes everything that happened.

Here we got two of ElQuackity and two of Quackity.

Some obvs differences but lemme like go crackhead mode on y'all even tho you probs don't wanna hear it, anyways, I like to think that obviously both Quackity's look very similar but there are somethings that set them apart.

Physically I feel like ElQuackity has a more defined jaw, wider shoulders, a lil more muscle (specifically in the upper torso) and like slightly bigger wings. Quackity has softer features, more beauty marks, the beginning of crows feet from all his laughing and smiling, and he's slightly shorter.

However attitude/behavior wise, they're so fucking different.

I like to think that ElQuackity always has his shoulders squared even when he's like chill his shoulders are always just set. The only time Quackity shoulders were set was when he was angry or when he was defending someone else. Always has good posture you never catch him slouching or like hunching, his stance is confident and like daring.

He never actually smiles it's always this smirk that from certain angles looks like a smile but it just irritates the absolute crap outta ya. His eyes don't scrunch when he 'smiles' they like kinda squint but never truly scrunch.

He does that thingy sociopaths do were they emulate emotions but never actually feel them unless they're neg like anger and annoyance. He can act the part but there's a distinct lack of just everything that makes it Quackity.

And then Quackity is just a laid back dude, he's always smiling always laughing but there's this sadness that peaks through. His sadness is like tint on a window it's obvious the windows tinted but once your use to seeing it on the window you get use to it.

( or something I dunno shut up)

Even though he would still act like his usual self he carried himself like there was a weight on his shoulders. He doesn't feel as bright, he feels far away.

His wings are also super expressive that flutter, flap, fluff up, and beat with every emotion he feels. ElQuackity's just stay unnaturally still.

Oof I'm ranting but I can write a seven page essay on all the potential differences between these two but I'm sleepy and it late. My brain no longer wants to think.

Guenas Noches.

[morningstargirl666]

hi, how's it going? love tbbw and all your other works! any wips in progress?

im fairly new to the fandom and was looking for a few good kc authors...any recs for fics and/or authors?

Hi! Thanks so much for enjoying tbbw! I'm not really working on anything else other that tbbw right now, but I do have a ghost!caroline au somewhere in my pile of drafts, as well as the next chapter for Divided We Fall and Songs of the Sea --- not that they're anywhere near finished 😂.

But if you meant what I'm working on for tbbw currently, I'm up to the old chapter 30, which is now split between chapter 41 and 42 in the rewrite (yes, it became two chapters --- not at all SHOCKING). I'll share something I worked on just last night under the cut.

As for kc authors.... so many good ones! @cupcakemolotov / cupcakemolotov and @lalainajanes / LalainaJ and @lynyrdwrites have hundreds (and I mean that literally) of kc fics under their belts, spanning dozens of aus. @bellemorte180 / BelleMorte180 also has done a ton of aus with many of them multichaps --- my favourite of hers is a one-shot called The Howling. @helpless-in-sleep / perfectpro has written an absolutely transcendant fic that deals with Caroline's trauma with Damon and I'm told her Adams Family AU is a kicker too. @little-miss-sunny-daisy / sunnydaisy has written a mix of brilliant aus and canon divergence fics, much like perfectpro. If you're into canon divergence and multichaps, @stars-and-darkness / for_darkness_shows_the_stars is your gal. @ks-caster / KS-Caster is much the same. It's not personally my thing, but if you liked the baby plot, @galvanizedfriend / Yokan has got you covered with The Wolf. @kirythestitchwitch / KiryTheStitchWitch is currently organising @klarolinewinterexchange which will release some new fics into the wild soon, and her own fics are legendary too.

If you want to check out some relatively new authors (that I've met recently anyway) there's @accidental-rambler , @artemisravencourtney , @impossiblekryptonitecolor , @averseunhinged and probably many more I'm forgetting. And because I can't leave my fellow kc artists unmentioned, @certifiedceraunophile @the-road-betwixt @stardust414 @push1na @highgaarden have all done some Queen Shit in this fandom and need to recieve more love, so go check them out.

As promised, here's a little sneak peak for tbbw --- Sam is NOT having a good time hehehehehe

Turns out, getting shot in the head was just as pleasant as it sounds.

The pain was unlike anything else when he woke; like a hot poker had just been shoved right through his skull, searing through the tissue behind his eyes. But before that, before he became aware of the pain, woke to the world around him — there was the in-between. 

A vampire’s soul didn’t cross to the Other Side when they were ‘killed’, even though their bodies imitated the process of dying. They were clinically dead to the rest of the world when their necks snapped, or when a wooden bullet was put between their eyes. And even as the magic that kept Sam from true death began healing his body, the cells in his brain had already started dying, releasing one desperate flood of DMT before the lights went out, dreaming bigger than he’d ever dreamed before. Some see their life flash before their eyes; memories skittering across your brain, full of loved ones and friends, mixing with a firework display of imagination to create one last delirium-induced fever dream. 

Sam, well.

Sam saw Riley.

She’d been little, when they were taken. Barely just older than four. He remembered she had their mom’s eyes; their mom’s laugh. During those dark days, deep underground, where no one could hear them scream—

He’d have given anything to make her laugh. He managed to, once or twice; coerced a smile from that small, innocent face.

That face, in all its deathly stillness, was the last thing he had seen before Lycaon’s venom had torn its way through his body, setting his blood on fire. Lycaon had been too late to save her, nearly too late to save him. 

The bite was always a gamble; a simple toss of a coin. Life? Or death?

That day, Sam had lived.

But his sister had died.

And all those memories; that kaleidoscope of horrors that warped and twisted behind his eyelids rushed to the surface, lingering like a wraith as he woke, hissing in his ears. His expression twisted with pain as the agony inside his head split his skull open, and for minute, he thought it was the witches, twisting their magic into his blood vessels with cruel fingers and making them explode—

“He’s awake! He’s awake!” a voice shouted to others, out of place in such memories. 

The vervain hit Sam next. Suddenly he found himself coughing, rolling over as harsh breaths shook his entire body, struggling to breathe through the poison in the air.

“Ask if Klaus is alive–” another voice was saying, further away and distinctly male.

“Hybrid!” someone else yelled over them. “You lying, traitorous excuse of a lap dog. Where’s my brother? Is he alive? Answer me!”

Sam’s eyes shot open. His fingers scrambled over his forehead, digging into the wound in the middle of it, wincing at the pain and wheezing in every breath of vervain-infused air, pulling out something close to the surface. It dropped to the floor amongst the hay and dirt, a sharp, pointed thing; a wooden bullet.

The fuck?

“Sam, thank god,” someone near him said; the one who had spoken first. He looked up, meeting concerned, kind eyes. Her face blurred, Sam’s eyes tearing up from the sting of vervain. Her voice sounded urgent, trying to reach him through the wooden, barred walls. “Are you okay? Sam, can you hear me?” 

Wait… barred?

He stared at her fingers, wrapped around an iron bar to the right. Like a cage.

Sam looked up, eyes moving around the pen he was caged in, gaze roaming the walls; from the barred window slightly higher up and the locked cell door, to the vervain misting in the air, blowing out of the fans in the corner of the room. When he spoke, it was just one word, but the sheer desperation in his voice, the fear, like he was pleading for a lie, struck a horror in him so deep, everyone heard it.

“No.”

It was bigger than the ones the witches kept him, the walls haphazardly reinforced together, rather than meticulously organised — premeditated — but the feeling was the same. He could feel the walls closing in, the dread — the knowing — that there was no escape suffocating him more successfully than the vervain. Helpless. Forgotten. Left to rot in the dark and the cold.

And this time — alone.

“Sammy? I’m scared.”

He choked, but not from the vervain. He rolled onto his back, scrambling away from the cell door in front of him like it was a terrifying beast and not a simple meld of iron and hinges.

“It’s alright, Ry. Someone will come, you’ll see.”

“You promise?”

“I promise.” A pause; followed by movement in the dark. “Pinky swear?”

A quiet, sniffled giggle. “Pinky swear.”

Sam stared at the cell door in horror, beginning to shake his head back and forth, repeating that same word over and over.

“No, no, no, no, no, no-”

His hand came up to clutch his hair, pulling so harshly at the strands it hurt, just as his back hit the wall behind, nowhere left to run.

“Sam! Sam!” Caroline yelled, trying to get his attention. “What’s the matter?”

Sam couldn’t hear her.

“Dad says you lost your younger brother,” he’d asked Klaus once, when the man had still hated him, sneering whenever he came close.

“I don’t talk about it.”

“That’s alright,” Sam had said back, looking out across the woods, leant on the cabin’s balcony. “I don’t talk about it either.”

Klaus hadn’t said a word, but he’d looked at him. And then his face had softened. In the silence that followed, for the first time, they found some common ground.

[raayllum]

Anyway said I wanted to talk about TDP's stage motif so here I am

The stage motif refers to well, references to the stage/theatre in terms of framing, word choice, and general dramatics. It isn't employed often, and I first noticed it upon reading the S2 novelization, in which the text states:

Callum was on a stage, but there was no one in the audience. This bed of keys was a horrible resting place. Sharp pieces of metal poked into Callum’s back. […] He heard an irritating buzz somewhere beneath him. Callum turned the cube frantically to see which primal was glowing. How could any of the primals glow in this dark place?  Something about this cube tied his stomach in knots. It wasn’t natural. A vision flickered in front of his face. Dozens of dead animals in a field. A dead butterfly. A dead deer. A dead unicorn. Cackling laughter. He chucked the cube away from him with all his might. The glowing rune was dark magic. It represented death.

This of course makes sense. Callum's dark magic dreams with a spotlight focused heavily on him easily invoke the visuals of a lone performer on a stage - often there to declare monologues that reveal a character's internal thoughts, feelings, and particularly struggles - much the way the literal visual dive into Callum's brain shows us his thought process in figuratively imaginative language (sort of like poetry).

And in many ways, Aaravos' possession scene in 4x04 is also a monologue (and performance) with even a bow to close the 'scene' out. He even sort of assigns everyone their role - a few lines to define each character before the play begins, the way a director may hand out script information in the casting process. This is also where the stage motif begins to overlap with the game motif; you can play a game, yes, but you can also play a role. Play your part.

Puppets are, after all, inherently performance pieces.

4x04 also complicates this further by tying it to both Rayla's goodbye letter and Viren's speech to Terry:

They said that, sometimes, we make sacrifices so that the ones we love don’t have to. It’s part of protecting them—part of protecting you. Taking on hard choices and going to dark places is an act of love. It’s a gift.

I have always been ready to do anything to protect my family, however dangerous, however vile. In the name of love, you may perform acts so unforgivable... you will never forgive yourself.

With the stage motif coming back in loop with Viren's dream sequences in S5 as well. While his nightmare in the throne room has curtains mostly for the Twin Peaks reference, it still invokes a feeling of performance and insanity that has to be discarded, much the same way Viren has to dismantle his lies (that everything he did was for his family > himself / that he had no choice but to do the things he's done, i.e. "every step" was not because he had to) as we see the spotlight come again. (Fun fact: Viren's is the only one thus far to change from white to red to white again.)

And Finnegrin also brings up aspects/implications of performance in 5x08 as well:

The chains are an illusion. A performance, a ruse, a show. The real thing that keeps everyone in line - under Finnegrin's control - is fear (for themselves, assumedly). Callum tried to assert otherwise, that love and connection are the decided opposite of control:

and Finnegrin called that out as a performance, too, along with his behaviour towards Rayla that proved that love and the desire to protect can also be what controls you.

All that talk about how love makes you stronger, but the second you see that elf girl in pain, you completely lost yourself [it makes you weak].

Lurking underneath the performance is the truth in what makes people tick - their fears, their loyalties, their instincts. And it's these that Aaravos preys upon. It's why he believes they'll fulfil their roles per his predictions. They're his puppets, his performers.

His instruments

for

And well, the show must go on.

[deathbydarkelves]

🪶☀️Elor'belo -- The Long Sun festival☀️🪶

In a moment of autistic genius, I came up with a whole new kaldorei holiday, centered around a long-distance hippogryph race. Big ol' info dump incoming.

Throughout the year, as the nights and days lengthen and shorten, Elune and the sun (or An'she, as I'll call it/him from now on. I know that's the tauren name but I think it works for the kaldorei to call him that too) are constantly in a race against each other. As An'she tires in winter, the days shorten and Elune overtakes him. Then as she tires in summer, the nights shorten and An'she overtakes her.

So, every year on the summer solstice, the day Elune is most tired from racing An'she, kaldorei hippogryph riders race him in her stead. They race from dawn to noon, traveling east to west and ending at the peak of Mt. Hyjal, the highest point on Kalimdor, to intimidate him with their racing prowess even when he is highest in the sky. Then as he falls, exhausted, Elune can continue the race again. In 7-8 hours, the racers cover almost 350 miles/~560 km. They start in eastern Hyjal the moment dawn breaks, then fly down to Ashenvale, then weave back up through the mountains to the peak of Mt. Hyjal.

Now, since the in-game world is TINY, I've decided to approximate Kalimdor's "real" north-south length to be ABOUT 4,000 mi/6,400 km. That makes it a bit smaller than South America. Or, because this is how my brain processes distance: Sam and Frodo would have to walk their path from the Shire to Mordor 2-3 times (depending on who you ask) to cover the same distance.

With that in mind, here's a rough approximation of the route, using the wonky proportions of the in-game map because I haven't made my own yet (</3):

The race has changed over time. Historically, it went from dawn to dusk, starting in Azshara, going through Ashenvale, some years going as far west as Darkshore, then ending on Mt. Hyjal. But over time and as circumstances on Kalimdor changed, the race was shortened both in time and in length. Lots of riders and hippogryphs alike would become dangerously exhausted during the historic 14-16 hour long race, Azshara is mostly Horde territory now, Darkshore is... not doing so hot right now, and so on.

Here's a, again, very rough approximation of the historical route:

And that's the "official" race, which is often initiated and attended by the High Priestess and Archdruid themselves. There are multiple smaller festivals/races across Kalimdor, but they all follow the same concept: race An'she east to west from dawn to noon, and end at the highest point possible. Some places even still run from dawn to dusk, as some believe the health risks are just something one has to deal with when racing a god, and that they're worth it to race on Elune's behalf.

Besides the race itself, the night prior there's always a huge festival with food and song and dance to hype up the racers. And the night after the race there's even more, this time with additional ceremonies, prayers, and offerings to Elune to help her get her "second wind" as it were.

Importantly, the overall spirit of the race and festival is one of friendly competition. The kaldorei aren't, like, ideologically opposed to the sun lol. It's vital for most life, and they know that. They race An'she to keep things fair between him and Elune.

And, of course, Elor'belo exists as a way for people to get together and enjoy good food and music, and cheer for their favorite racer(s). Here's some of the sorts of characters you might see competing because I need practice drawing hippogryphs anyway:

Miscellaneous notes:

The race distance is meant to be almost the maximum distance someone could ride in the time given. Only about 20% of racers can even do so with minutes to spare, with the remaining 80% finishing in the early-to-mid afternoon. But in the event someone does reach Mt. Hyjal well before noon, there's a second leg that takes them through Nordrassil's branches up to its very top. Very few people have ever completed that second leg before noon, and it's a very good omen for the rest of the year when someone does.

Different species of hippogryphs have different top speeds and stamina levels. Each has its own pros and cons when it comes to a race like this, which relies on both speed and endurance, and you'll always see a wide variety in the competitors.

On a related note: In the days of Queen Azshara, hippogryphs were selectively bred for different appearances and endurance levels, etc., like horses. That practice ended after the Sundering because in the new, more druidic culture of the kaldorei, it became a bit of a controversial topic to breed creatures as intelligent as hippogryphs. As a result most of those breeds are extinct now, but a handful of them are still kicking around with their own self-sustaining populations. That piebald one pictured above is an example.

The quel'- and sin'dorei have their own version of Elor'belo where they race Elune on the winter solstice. Since there aren't very many Thalassian words (with translations), and no fanmade dictionary I'm aware of, I'm thinking of just calling it Elor'elun ("Long Moon").

Baldur by Faun is the song that gave me the idea for this entire thing. I highly recommend giving it a listen, it's a bop.

[duchessofostergotlands]

Do you think you could be autistic? No hate just wondered as I am too and I relate to a lot of what you say

Oh my anonymous friend, you don't know the can of worms you have opened haha. I am going to ramble here so just be prepared for that.

When I was little my mum did actually think I might be autistic. Predominantly because I played in an unusual way. I would line my toys up on the window sill and my grandmother's display cabinet thing. I would get furious at people if they moved my toys because they all had their own spot. And the only time I touched the toys was to move them from the cabinet (their home) to the window (the school). The rest of the time I would just stand still, stare at the toys, and wiggle my fingers. They called it "zizzing" - now it's called stimming, I guess - and they knew that was a sign of autism so my mum and my grandmother did wonder about it. But I had two things going against me: I was a girl and I was born in the early 90s. This was during the peak of the idea autism was the "extreme male brain." It was seen as being predominantly a male diagnosis. You probably know that. And there wasn't much understanding so our reference point would be people like our family friend who always looked at the ground, was obsessed with trains, had limited speech and would scream if anyone tried to touch him. Whereas while my family were still thinking about the autism thing I started school and I was academically strong, I had a small group of close friends and at the time - because of the gender disparity - girls only really got diagnosed with autism if they had some kind of very obvious speech delay, they weren't doing well at school, they had no social connections with their peers at all etc. So basically everyone just forgot about it. I got called a drama queen a lot, that was it.

Fast forward to my teens and my mental health was really bad. It got worse at university because I didn't have the routine and structure of school, I didn't have my mum cooking and buying food etc. I was diagnosed initially with depression and anxiety. After a while it was clear that wasn't right so after much fighting I got a diagnosis for Borderline Personality Disorder. Now you may know this but there is an overlap in BPD and autism symptoms and women are often misdiagnosed with BPD later in life because as children their autism wasn't picked up (because diagnostic criteria is still geared towards how it presents in boys and psychologists and psychiatrists don't always delve into motivations and thought processes). I found that out in my mid 20s but thought "nah I probably don't have it, I don't have special interests and I don't struggle with x, y and z." However, my mum became really interested in BPD after I was diagnosed and did loads of research, listened to podcasts on it. And she told she was listening to one podcast where someone was diagnosed with BPD but then they discovered it was actually autism. My mum said to me that the way she described herself in childhood was exactly how I behaved, as if I'd been the one speaking. And so that got me thinking and that's where I have been stuck over the last few years. I debate with myself constantly what's going on in my brain and I truly don't know. I regularly have epiphanies where I think "oh that thing I've done all my life is incredibly autistic." But then I think maybe it's actually BPD. And I just go round and round.

I identify as neurodivergent, regardless of what diagnosis I have. Some neurodivergence paradigms do recognise severe mental illnesses like BPD anyway, but I've realised that if you put aside the BPD I still have chronic problems with ordinary tasks and situations. And I used to think it was just because I was young but I'm 31, almost 32, and it isn't normal to take 3 months to make one phone call because you just can't make yourself do it! Most people don't find it this hard to take basic care of themselves.

[phlurrii]

Important PSA

Hello my fellow floof obsessives, I wanted to make this quick update for folks as well as include a bunch of snippets of stuff I’ve been working on for AGES for this comic! Some make no sense and some are about to make a lot of sense!

But onto the meat of this, I have been having a hell of a year, good, bad, and ugly! And lately my motivation has been in the shitter the last 4 months. I have barely wanted to draw let alone work on my goobers. However, I’ve been pushing through and doing it anyways because I love them and you all sincerely have made this year utterly wonderful!! That, and I’m excited for the Noe arc! But I think it’s finally time to split my time properly with The Ancient Mew and something I am proper motivated to work on, before burnout kills me entirely.

I have a second comic, not related to Pokémon in the slightest, but an original story I’m drafting with a friend that has my heart just as much as this one does. I’ve been forcing myself not to touch it and force myself to work on this, but it’s causes a grid lock where I’ll work on neither and then just be miserable because of it. So I’m officially announcing that these two things will be worked on simultaneously! Patreon will continue to receive 1-3 updates a month and the comic won’t be on any hiatus don’t worry, but my activity will be split between here and my other Art account for the development of my other comic!

So this is both a sneak peak as what I’m working on for AM as well as for any of those who would like see the process of exploring this new story via whatever we call short form videos with those audios that make your brain go wild with ideas over on Instagram and eventually here too. Albeit on a separate Tumblr of course~

If folks have any questions, please feel free to reply below this post and I’ll do my best to answer them! As well as provide a follow up post about this second comic I’m developing if anyone’s interested ^^

[oculosadvocum]

I'm curious: What's the story with your RAM!Vox? Answer at your own leisure though, no hurry.

Is this about the whole story between Alastor and Vox? Or just the more RAM side of things?

The cool thing about me and Lee—my affiliate and writer for both voxxisms and staticgcne—is that all of our AUs involve the same background with a change here or there to push the story in a particular direction.

So here’s the rundown of how we got here and where Vox ended up:

Vox met Alastor almost immediately after he came to Hell. They became fairly close, and Vox fell hard and fast within months. Alastor helped him set up his business and get his foot in the door. They even lived together—like our flipped dynamic—but this didn’t last long because Vox knew he was in too deep and needed a step back.

The frequency was also created by Alastor here, but with a twist. Alastor told Vox it was a way to keep in touch over great distances, but in reality Vox’s every thought is broadcasted to him. Vox is unaware of this. After a certain point, he likely wouldn’t care, honestly.

Their friendship was easily kept up. Vox would do most of the work, inviting Alastor out or, when things were at their best, on weekend trips. Progressively treating Alastor more and more like a partner, which just led to a stronger obsession. Alastor never reciprocated, instead getting more “playfully violent”, which Vox took as the way that Alastor showed his love.

His business hit its peak during the mid to late 1990’s, with the tech boom and dot com bubble. Only getting more and more intense after Y2K, since he had control over the television networks and could parrot whatever narrative he thought would win over the masses. This caused a lot of distance between them, because Vox wasn’t putting in nearly the level of effort and attention to Alastor that he was used to.

It sort of culminated when Vox missed a long standing appointment with Alastor. Vox’s assumption was that he didn’t ask to meet so it wasn’t happening—Alastor showed up anyway. Neither of them discussed it after the fact, and Vox carried on with the new normal. Getting busier and busier but still canceling anything and everything for the sake of seeing Alastor when given the chance.

In 2017, Vox finally asked Alastor to join him. Alastor agreed, but only if Vox could beat him in a fight. Vox actually won, all the while confessing his love and obsession right to Alastor’s face and demanding they do this dance forever.

In RAM, Vox went far enough to subdue Alastor, and in a moment of gloating and rambling, used his hypnosis on him. Alastor took the moment to recover and grab him, and start the Ordeal.

During the Ordeal, Vox would have fought every single part, leading to a lot of unfortunate consequences.

His mind—brain—soul—sits beneath the glass on his head. It can be separated from the TV itself, and is mostly projected into it. As if the television is the skull containing it.

Getting to it from the screen is nearly impossible. Vox has created the equivalent of crumple zones on his body and his face is no exception. Sugar glass on top of glass on top of bulletproof glass. All can be affected by his power so that he has a proper “face”, but he’s built to be brittle in a lot of places so that nothing does lasting damage.

Accessing his brain from the back of his head would be easier, but would require basically ripping him apart to do so. Disrupting connections that would do a lot of damage to him in any circumstance, but especially here, in a situation where he couldn’t resolve it himself.

Because he was doing everything he could to stop the process during, Alastor did a lot of unnecessary destruction to his body and his brain. Causing him to break down very often, become increasingly violent, and even forget who he is.

On the physical side, Vox suffers a lot. Living with a constant migraine so bad that he will bang his head against the walls to try and get rid of it. He’s also lost almost all of his sight. Having to resort to outside cameras and infrared sensors to see the world around him. He short circuits and shuts down often.

When it comes to mental difficulties, Vox has no sense of self at all. Picking names and identities from whatever signals pass through him. He’s so paranoid due to the loss of his eyes and will lash out at anyone, most of the time without reason. He’s convinced that he’s being followed or chased more often than not, because he can’t actually see a threat, but knows it’s there.

In his time in the Tower, it was hell for anyone involved. My Vox actually had his Vees contracted to him. It likely took Velvette over three years to get him to break those and sign over his contracts to her, because every time she got close he just attacked. Valentino might have had some better luck with him, but Velvette would have been hard pressed to let him be alone with Vox for very long.

He would have been locked up and confined like a wild animal the majority of the time, only allowed out when they made their attempts to fix everything. Which never worked. Once or twice they managed to get his eyes working again, resulting in him being a bit more relaxed, but it wasn’t permanent and he actively got worse over it.

When Alastor came to get him, he recognized him immediately and acted like a kicked puppy at his feet. Begging Alastor to get him out and let him stay. Arms wrapped around Alastor’s waist while on his knees most likely. Clinging to him like he’s the only safe person in the world.

At the Hotel, he’s still volatile and a complete mess. But he knows Husk and Niffty, only through their connection to Alastor, so he’s more comfortable knowing this is “Alastor’s space”. He still can’t fully process the world, the people around him, or even himself, but he doesn’t pick fights as much.

It doesn’t help that Alastor is constantly making “adjustments” to try to fix him the same way that the Vees did. Sometimes they help for a while, but most of the time they just make his paranoia worse for a few days. He’ll self-implement his own imprisonment if it was a particularly bad one. Falling back into habits he doesn’t even know he has.

Bad days involve him destroying his own head, trying to attack Angel or Vaggie, and shutting himself in his room as the circuits fry in the Hotel.

Overall, on good days, he has a tendency to become a different person depending on who he’s interacting with. Committing aspects of personality to memory that work with certain people. An example of this is being more positive and bubbly with Charlie.

The only person he’s consistent with is Alastor, who he will attach to if given any opportunity. He’s whiny and desperate and looking for comfort from him at all times. If Alastor is in the room but not directly interacting with him, he will start to spiral.

If he ever managed full lucidity—he would absolutely lose his mind.

He would be horrified that he attacked Valentino and Velvette unprovoked, and furious that they didn’t kill him on sight. He would despise everyone at the Hotel for the crime of seeing him like that. He wouldn’t even know where to start with Alastor, especially if Alastor made it clear that he liked him better broken.

It probably wouldn’t go well for anyone.

This ended up longer than expected, but there’s the story for his RAM verse.