#anyways he is very shrimp to me i think of this man and all i can think is shrimp

[dissentersbedamned]

what the FREAK is this

[kissforyouu]

making a sanrio bento box for your boyfriend ! ♡

pairing : jungkook x sanrio girl!oc

genre : fluff

a/n : happy new year!! hope you guys have a wonderful year ahead ❤️

i wanna know, know, know, know,

what is love?! ♡ !! (๛ ˘ ³˘)۶

you were so excited. so excited that you could run a marathon, have a dance battle, binge watch 10 dramas and study a whole semester in one night. you have all the energy in the world right now.

for the past 2 weeks, all you've been seeing on the tiktok is women making cute little bento boxes for their partners. and you just KNEW that you had to make one for your boyfriend. it's a must. they looked so freaking out your heart literally fluttered at the mere thought of making one for your boyfriend and seeing his reaction.

so now here you were, in front of your kitchen island, preparing your boyfriend's lunch box. the box was just plain steel (boring!) with no design or anything else. it suits jungkook. but you were gonna personalise it according to your likings. you don't think jungkook would get mad anyways. he'd find it rather cute.

currently, you were placing all the tiny fried shrimp in the lunchbox, also making sure to pin cute hello kitty and flower toothpicks on it. you also put a little mini container with some sauce in. for the main proportion, you decided to just make a cute hello kitty sandwich. truth is, jungkook was just going to his aunt's house to see his little cousin. a lunch box wasn't even necessary, but you wanted to do it anyway. you made sure to make it look extra cute so that jungkook's cousins would want a bite too!

closing the sandwich and placing it inside, you also sprinkle some rainbow sprinkles around the sandwich. oh my god, so cute! (you want to eat it now)

the lunchbox was turning out pretty cute and really really pretty. there were flower shaped dragon fruit inside alongside another small container of sprinkles and raspberries.

you're having so much fun by just cutting these fruits into little shapes.

"AH!" you let out a big scream, you're startled. obviously there's only one culprit. jungkook. he pinched your waist.

"baby, what is wrong with you?" you send him a small glare, turning back to continue your work.

"what's this?" jungkook takes a step further to stand next to you, his head hovering over yours to look at the food.

"ugh, i wanted to surprise you with this." you pout, leaning your head towards jungkook's shoulders. he snorts, humming.

"it's fine, i like seeing you cook anyway."

"it's already cooked! i'm just putting it all together!" you whine, completely annoyed by his sudden appearance.

"tssk, come on, baby." jungkook leans forward to rest his forearms on the table, head turned to you. he tries to sneakily sneak a piece of dragon fruit in his mouth but fails. laughing out, he still munches on the fruit, making your eyebrows frown.

"jungkook! you're so annoying!" your lips formed to a big fat pout, eyebrows raised as you playfully slapped jungkook's back.

it was clear to jungkook that you just wanted to surprise him with the bento box and that he ruined all of your plans by checking on you. but it was so cute. he was watching you from afar earlier, finding it completely endearing and adorable how you were so focused and just in your little bubble. he was so in love.

"no, you love me." he teases back.

"no, i hate you. you're a very annoying man." you roll your eyes, going back to your work while jungkook snickers.

"that's not what you say in bed though. oh my god, jungkook! i'm yours! i wanna cum!" he snickers.

"hey!" you slap his back again. jungkook dramatically clutches his heart, making exaggerated noises. "don't do that." you glare.

"yes, ma'am."

he couldn't help but smile, enjoying this sweet moment to the fullest. for the rest of the time, jungkook stays fully quiet, just letting you have your fun meanwhile he's just admiring you. here and there, he would sneak his arm around your waist to tickle you a little and make you shriek or rub your ass a little.

currently, he had his chin on your shoulder, arms on each side of you on the table. you were taking an awfully long time finishing off this little lunchbox.

"done yet?" he groans. you hum a small no. jungkook whines back.

"i'm finishing off the last bit, wait."

jungkook nods, letting go of your body and sitting on the table instead, right next to the lunchbox.

"you look so pretty." he coos, the tip of his toes poking your waist.

"ew! get your dogs away, jungkook!" you can't help but giggle as you poke his feet.

"no, they wanna touch you. my toes love you sooo much."

"ewwww, i didn't know you liked feet!" you laugh.

"yeah? wanna try it out next time?" he jokes.

"no! what the fuck?! that's nasty!" your face turns sour, vigoursly shaking your head from side to side.

"joking! joking!" he pokes his tongue out.

"very funny. but anyways, i'm done." you hold out cute bento box for him to see with a bright smile on your face.

jungkook giggles, jumping off the table and bringing you into a hug. you place the bento box on the table and hug him back, letting the big man make you completely disappear in his embrace.

"thank you, i love you." he kisses the side of your head, then temple.

"hey!" you grab the collar of his hoodie before he pulls away, then point at your lips.

he scrunches his nose in reaction to your actions, "of course."

your body pulls you closer by holding your face with both his hands, connecting your lips for a sweet kiss.

"oh my god, i forgot something!" you mumble in the middle of the kiss. jungkook pulls away, letting you wander off to wherever again. you run to your room, pulling out one of your pink sticky notes and a pen.

"what're you doing?" your boyfriend trails behind you, curious to see what you were doing.

"i'm writing you a note."

"lemme see." he places his hands on your hips to have a peek but you quickly shoo him away.

"read it when you eat it."

"but—"

"anyways, i'm done." you interrupt the poor man. he opens his mouth to say something, but stops. instead, he ruffles your hair.

once you're done assembling everything together, and also folding the sticky paper and making a heart out of it, you wrap everything in a serviette and hand it over to jungkook.

"okay, byebye. eat it with your cousin, okay? tell him i missed him!" you pat his cheek.

"of course, baby. bye, i love you." he kisses your lips one more time with a small squeeze to your waist.

-‘๑’-

"kookie!" jungkook's cousin jumps on his back, super excited that his very much older brother is back to see him again.

"hey, buddy!" he squeezes him in his embrace, delivering a small kiss to the child's cheek.

"you wanna eat something?" he playfully punches the kid in the stomach.

"yeah!"

"you remember y/n? she made this for us. you know, she told me to tell you that she missed you."

"yes, kookie! the pretty lady you brought with you." the tips of the little boy's ears turn into a deep shade of pink at the thought of you. once jungkook notices this, he laughs, pinching the little boy's ear.

"you like her?"

"y‐yeah..." he shyly admits.

"okay, i'll bring her with me next time, hm?"

the kid's eyes instantly lit up as he excitedly jumps up, arms in the air.

"let's eat this for now."

the little note you wrote had been in jungkook's mind the entire ride and he's so eager to finally open the food up and read what you wrote. sure, it was just a small note. but jungkook loved these kind of things. it was the little actions that mattered the most to him. he loved it whenever you showed your love through little things like this. it was so much more than just little for him.

once the little starts to happily munch of some of the fruit, jungkook quickly picks up the little note. he carefully opens it up, excited. it amazed him how he would get excited over the smallest things you'd do.

once he reads the notes, he swears he's never been more in love. there's a big fat smile on his face.

✉⤷ you're the only one for me. ♡

-‘๑’-

taglist : @fungie2332 @wintertxt @wheexine @hyunjinswifeee @ohsweetmimosa @canyon-lwt

[kaijuno]

My name is Spike Cohen, and I ate 10 pounds of food.

Last Sunday, I went to a hibachi restaurant with my wife, my mother and my cousins to celebrate Mom's birthday.

If you've ever been to a hibachi restaurant, you know that they give you an insane amount of rice.

I usually eat a keto diet. This day would be an obvious exception.

I hadn't eaten all day, so I decided to order extra scallops, in case the laughably large amount of food they give wasn't enough.

My wife doesn't eat rice, so I got her portion too. I knew that going into this struggle.

She also had them give me her shrimp. That, I hadn't anticipated.

But I'm a man, and that really doesn't excuse any of this but I'm going to say it anyway.

When my cousin Sherri asked the chef to give me her rice portion as well, I knew that I was in danger.

As the food continued to pile onto my plate, I had to form a mesa of sorts with the rice, so that the shrimp, scallops, and vegetables wouldn't fall off.

Because God forbid I neglect to eat any of it.

A pile of food would come. I'd eat it, and then get back to chipping away at my Rice Mesa.

And then another pile of food would come.

And then another.

I felt like Sisyphus, except his task at least made him more fit.

Mine put me at serious risk of hospitalization.

Nevertheless, I persisted.

My cousins said that I could take the rest to go and eat it later.

My wife informed them that I would be eating all of this food tonight, because I have a problem.

Minutes turned into hours. Not that I could keep track of time.

Nothing felt real anymore.

What we call "reality" stripped away from what was left of my consciousness.

Nothing existed but me and the endless pile of food.

At some point, the rest of the family was getting bored and wanted to leave, so I had to pack my leftovers into a to-go container.

To put it in perspective, less than half the food was left, and it barely fit into a full size styrofoam clamshell container.

As I packed the food in, my wife and mother insisted that it wouldn't fit.

My own wife and mother.

It hurt me to know that they didn't believe in me. In retrospect, I was probably a little overly emotional because my blood sugar was somewhere north of 800.

But Mark believed.

"It's rice", we both said, almost in unison. "You can really pack it in there."

And we were right.

You can really pack rice in there.

My family pleaded with me, "please Spike, please don't eat the rest of that food tonight. We are worried that you will die."

I said "of course I won't eat the rest of it tonight. I've had more than enough."

But my wife said "he's going to eat this before it gets cold."

"No no" I insisted. "This will make a great lunch for tomorrow."

She continued looking at my family.

"He has a problem."

My own wife.

First she didn't think I could pack that rice into the container. Now she thinks I'll eat the leftovers, when I insisted that I wouldn't.

I was heartbroken.

How could the woman I had pledged my life to, my Queen, my very rib, plucked from me and formed as I doth sleep, have so little faith in me?

It was a long and quiet ride home.

I felt alone, betrayed even.

At this point my blood sugar was hovering somewhere around 1200.

I'd estimate that I consumed roughly 600 grams of carbs, and 43,000 mg of sodium.

(I didn't bother calculating the protein and fat, because counting the macros of this meal seemed like a mockery of God and His creation)

All of this would have broken a weaker man.

But not me.

Unlike many lesser Jews, I am stronger than my addiction to Asian food.

My name is Spike Cohen, and I ate the Food and Nutrition Board of the National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine's recommend weekly allowance of calories in one sitting.

This is my story.

[atsuberry]

🍰 ˚₊‧꒰ა my faves as your roommate ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

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fc: atsushi nakajima, akutagawa ryuunosuke, louisa may alcott, HP lovecraft, ivan goncharov, sigma, fyodor dostoevsky

cw: college au, ooc charas, pure fluff, g/n reader, reader is lowk awkward, mentions of overdose

a/n: wow.. first post (GEULPP) I'm nervous, I hope you guys enjoy this though!! <33

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♯ 🍓┆Atsushi Nakajima .ᐟ

The sweetest roommate EVER.

You have a buttload of assignments? He'll help you! You made a mess? He'll clean it for you! You're sick? He'll take care of you.

He's genuinely so nice it makes you tear up a bit..

Always trying to find a way to find a conversation with you, oh you like working out? That's crazy because he suddenly has a membership card a few days later!.. you like anime? His favorite is the same as yours!

Shares the most concerning stories about his past and brushes it off as nothing..

And then you just stare at him dumbfounded.

Gifts you stuff as his apologies! Mostly stationery stuff, or stuff that you like.

♯ 🍮┆Akutagawa Ryūnosuke .ᐟ

Never interacts with you.

Never.

Only talks to you when he needs something

That doesn't go the same for you though, you lost your keys? That's on you.

He's a light sleeper, so if you're cramming your studies in the middle of the night making a bunch of unnecessary noise, he's wide awake.

He really needs his sleep.

Only stays on his side of the dorm, if he dropped something that somehow rolled over to your side, he'll ask you to fetch it for him. (Who does he think he is)

If you're a quiet person, he'll probably tolerate you.

♯ 🥨┆Louisa May Alcott .ᐟ

Was scared of the idea of sharing a dorm at first,

Eventually you grew onto her, but it took like A LOT of time

Sometimes, you'd see her pass out on her desk while she's studying

So you cover her up with a blanket..! (this became a frequent thing)

Louisa always notices the blanket as soon as she wakes up and feels sheepish about it,

You assure her it's fine! But you're still concerned about the fact she just LITERALLY passed out.

Sometimes asks for you to leave the dorm whenever she's doing her assignments,

And you're like, huh???..???

You shrug it off anyways.

You invite her whenever you're going out!

♯ 🥧┆H.P Lovecraft .ᐟ

He's literally non-existent

Never talks to you, only talks when you start up a conversation with him first.

He's genuinely terrifying

His side of the dorm is practically empty, he sleeps on one pillow.

He genuinely does not gaf

Whenever you're going out, he'll sometimes sleep on your bed to see if your bed is more comfortable than his.

(it is!)

Overall, he's just there, doesn't really do anything.

♯ 🥞┆Ivan Goncharov .ᐟ

High-key low-key a neat freak

He mentally disturbs you sometimes due to how unpredictable his emotions are, since he's constantly happy all the time.

Usually talks about Dostoevsky to you.

Lets you wrap his head with bandages if he's feeling lazy, but he's like, VERY detailed on how he wants it to be wrapped.

If you're a messy person then he's gonna be a real pain in the ass

If the two of you were to share a bathroom, literally the whole bathroom would be filled with shampoo bottles or whatever thingamajigs he has.

Whenever you're going out, he ALWAYS asks you to run an errand for him.

“while you're on the way, can you buy me..”

You're his errand person.

♯ 🍪┆Sigma .ᐟ

A chill roommate

His hair does concern you.. like, what even is that?? A Christmas tree??..??

It does feel nice to braid it though, the white and purple strands go well with each other when it's tangled up.

Never lets you cook, like no trust at all

Insists that y'all should just get take out instead,

Rude, but oh whatever..

Do you think he's the type of guy to show you funny videos of animals

Idk man...

♯ 🥯┆Fyodor Dostoevsky .ᐟ

His appearance genuinely concerns you,

He definitely has a shrimp posture when he's sitting.

Definitely stays up until 6 in the morning.

Only drinks like coffee for the whole day,

You try to pursue him into eating more, but he declines everytime.

However if he WERE to sleep, he'd definitely talk during his prayer before going to sleep.

(his prayer would be 10 minutes long)

One time, you caught him drinking a pill in the middle of the night thinking he was overdosing,

Turns out he had just forgotten to take his iron supplements.. whoops.

Impossible to sleep around him, his screen is always blaring a bright screen on his computer. (Unless you somehow manage to sleep around that.)

[ddollfface]

𝐀 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐃𝐞𝐯𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

𝙅𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙃𝙖𝙣𝙢𝙖 𝙔𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙃𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙤𝙣𝙨 (Pt.1)

Warnings; bad writing, possessive behavior, really ooc (I'm 90% sure that I missed the mark on this one), this is pretty short, yandere if you really squint ig. If I missed anything, then please let me know ♡ Oml, tumblr's being a little bitch right now, I literally cannot right now. I'm going to repost Pt.1 and Pt.2. I'm so sorry, I have no clue as to why I have a word limit rn... Just know that this is super ooc :/

Okay, now that I've established Jack's background and overall interactions with reader, like how their initial meeting was, etc, we can now get into what it's actually like with Jack once you've known him.

Jack isn't obsessive necessarily, like how Katsumi or Ali Jr are, instead he's more so protective, possessive even. Since the two of you have gotten close, he's realized that he doesn't want you to leave him. You can't leave. This is the first time he's ever felt such an attachment for someone, felt such emotions for someone.

Throughout his life, he's always been determined on one goal: defeating his father. And he's never even given a second thought to some woman or to having a family. Nope, it's never even crossed his mind, but seeing you with another man just doesn't sit right with him, seeing you converse and smile with someone else. It just makes his hand itch, feeling the need to punch someone creep up his neck.

That smile belongs to him, him, him. You're only supposed to smile at him. He only smiles around you, so shouldn't it be the same for you? Why do you seem so close to this guy? He looks like a stick, Jack's sure that he could snap him in two, no doubt. He could take care of you far better than this shrimp ever could.

Much like an animal, Jack gets territorial over what he's deemed to be his, and you're his, don't you understand? Jack will begin to take up all your time, conveniently interrupting any dates that you have with another man. He'll show up to wherever the two of you are and loom over the man, silently telling the twig to buzz off. Of course, the other wouldn't stick around, too scared to face the beast of a man Jack is.

But you being you notice how you can't keep a single man, that isn't Jack, around no longer than a week. You'll begin to get skeptical. Not necessarily questioning Jack because it's too early to make assumptions, but you're keeping an ear out for any odd behavior.

Anyways, moving on to another headcanon.

I don't think Jack would be very touchy in public, clearly not too comfortable showing such vulnerability around others. Jack won't hug you, won't kiss you, and won't hold your hand. If anything, he acts like he's a stranger, someone you've never spoken a word to, but that's far from the truth. You know this.

And you don't need the PDA, you're fine. You can tell by how he looks at you, how his honey-brown eyes seem to soften ever so slightly, barely noticeable. It's as if he's speaking a thousand words with just one look, and this is the pillar of your relationship. The two of you are connected on a different level, though you both view this connection differently.

Like most Baki men, this is where the yandere tendencies come in. I feel that the majority of Baki men would be able to have a healthy relationship with someone, but it's when their feelings are reciprocated is when everything goes downhill. It's when they're devalued as a man and completely ignored, being pushed aside just to be chosen for someone else.

This is where Jack's possessive tendencies appear, seeing you with other people just sets him off, especially when he perceives you as undervaluing the connection you two have. I think that Jack would have to have a special type of relationship with you for him to become "yandere." He'd have to see you bonding with others, bonding the same way you did with him. This will surely make him feel as if you're using him (you're not), and that your relationship with him isn't special.

Once a sliver of doubt has seeped into his mind, all sane thoughts are out the window. Now, he's running on his instincts, and they're telling him to take you away to somewhere safe, somewhere where the two of you can be together, forever.

At first, when these thoughts pop up, he's in denial, his rational coming into play, and telling him to not do anything too crazy. Sometimes, it's hard to do so, especially when he sees you interact with others, laughing, and smiling with other fighters. How can you be so open with others? Treat other men so kindly when he can't even look at a woman without thinking of you?

What do they have that he doesn't? No, he has more. He knows when you look at him that he's your one and only, he can tell. The way your eyes glimmer and scrunch up when you smile, the smile lines becoming more apparent.

He can't let go of you now; he's in too deep; he's far too stubborn to give up now. The two of you are bonded, in his eyes. You understand him, and he understands you. You've just gone a little astray, don't worry he'll help you, just like you did with him.

[allthingsfangirl101]

The Munson Twins – Steve Harrington

Steve's POV

The Munsons were always a strange pair of twins. For one thing, they were polar opposites of each other. Eddie was into weird role-playing games. Y/N was into volleyball. Eddie is in danger of repeating his senior year. Y/N graduated early. Eddie is into rock and roll. Y/N plays the classical violin and the piano. Eddie loves black leather jackets. Y/N likes flowery sun dresses. Eddie is kind of a loner. Y/N is more popular than me.

Since Y/N graduated early, we spent our senior year in some of the same classes. That being said, we barely spoke to each other. The most we ever talked was congratulating each other after one of us won a game. All through high school, Y/N and I ran in the same social circles because of our sports so we often went to the same parties. Just because we went to the same parties doesn't mean we were friends.

Not to say I didn't wish we were friends. I've gone to most of Y/N's games and she's gone to most of mine. Whenever I looked in the stands and saw her, I became more self-conscious of my playing. I even went to her orchestra concerts. I usually sat in the back and left before anyone noticed I was there.

Throughout high school, I couldn't get Y/N Munson out of my head. It seemed like everywhere I looked, she was there. Even when I was dating Nancy, my mind often wondered to Y/N when I was alone.

When Vecna started killing teens and Eddie was blamed, my thoughts focused even more on Y/N. I wanted to talk to her about all of this, to make sure she knew her brother wasn't what the town thought, but I also didn't want her involved in any of this shit.

I had to force Y/N to the back of my mind as we tried to help Eddie. When we got stuck in the UpsideDown, I allowed my mind to go back to her, hoping she was safe back in Hawkins. We were walking to Nancy's house and I kept glancing at Eddie. If he knew that my thoughts were constantly on his twin sister, he'd kill me.

"Eddie," I said, clearing my throat as I caught up to him. "Hey, man. Um, listen I just umm. . . I just want to say thanks. For saving my ass back there."

"Shit," he laughed. "You saved your own ass, man. I mean that was a real Ozzy move back there."

"Ozzy?"

"When you took a bite out of that bat," he tried to clarify. "Ozzy Osbourne. Black Sabbath. He bit a bat's head off on stage. You really don't know who that is?"

"No," I chuckled. "Sorry."

"Well, anyway, it was very metal, what you did, is all I'm saying."

"Thanks," I sighed.

"Henderson told me you were a badass," he continued. "Insisted on the matter, in fact."

"Wait, Henderson said that?"

"Oh yeah. Shit. That kid worships you, dude. Like, you have no idea. It's kind of annoying, to be honest. I don't even know why I care what that little shrimp thinks, but I guess I got a little jealous." Eddie sighed before continuing, "I guess I couldn't handle the fact that Steve Harrington was actually a good dude. Rich parents. Popular. Chicks love him. And not a douche? No way. It goes against all the laws of the universe and my own personal Munson Doctrine. Then again, that's worth shit because even my sister talks highly of you."

"Y/N talks highly of me?" I tried, and failed, not to stutter.

I looked over to see Eddie smirking at me. He leaned in a little too close and whispered, "Very highly of you."

"Okay," I said awkwardly as I used my elbow to push him away from me. I cleared my throat and rolled my shoulders back.

"All jokes aside," Eddie said, "my sister does think highly of you, dude. Whenever people would start to talk shit about you, she'd instantly stand up for you. I never understood it, but she's always talked about how people should give you a chance. She believes that there is more to you than meets the eye."

"She really thinks that?" I couldn't help but ask.

"Hell yeah," he laughed.

"I guess I always thought. . . I mean, everyone else saw me as a dick. I figured she did too."

"Nope," he teased. "She always sees the good in people. It's extremely annoying."

Eddie walked away, but my mind was going a hundred miles an hour. I thought over the few, very few, interactions I've ever had with Y/N. We walked a few more miles, the others talking amongst each other while I walked behind the group.

"Alright," Eddie sighed as he joined me. "Enough of this. You've been in your head since I mentioned Y/N. What's the. . ."

He didn't finish his thought. Instead, he turned toward me with a smirk on his face.

"Ohhhhh," he elongated. "I get it now."

He playfully pushed me before continuing to walk through the woods.

"Wait," I called out as I chased after him. "You get what?"

"Come on, Harrington," Eddie sighed. "Please tell me I don't have to be the one to point this out to you."

"Point what out?"

"You have a thing for my sister."

"What?" I scoffed. "I don't. . . Why would you. . . That's so. . . No."

"No?" Eddie teased. "You sure about that?"

"I mean. . . That would be. . . Crazy."

"No, it wouldn't," he said simply. He saw the look on my face and sighed. "Look, Harrington, as much as I may not understand it, Y/N's right. You're a good guy. You'd be an even better guy if you'd grow a pair and tell my sister how you felt about her."

"What if she doesn't feel the same?" I asked before I could realize how weird it was to have this conversation with Y/N's twin brother.

"She does."

My heart jumped into my throat at those two words. Eddie didn't say anything else. He didn't need to. He sent me a wink before jogging and catching up with the others.

"She does," I repeated under my breath. "Holy shit. She feels the same."

* * * * *

Three months later, Hawkins was barely rebuilding. After Eddie's death, there were two people I was worried about; Dustin and Y/N. Dustin was doing what he normally does - pretending to be okay so no one would worry about him. I checked in on him almost every day. He was getting better, especially since Max was improving.

Y/N, on the other hand, barely leaves her uncle's trailer. Every single one of us has tried to visit her, but her uncle keeps telling us she doesn't want any visitors. Y/N won't even talk to the kids.

"Hi, Steve," Eddie and Y/N's uncle sighed when he opened the door.

"Hi, Mr. Munson," I greeted. "Is Y/N here?"

He sighed as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Look," he sighed, "I really appreciate all you kids have been trying to do for Y/N, but I think it might be best if you give her some space."

"But. . ."

"I'm sorry, Steve," he continued. "I'll let her know you stopped by."

My heart sank as he closed the door. I couldn't get myself to move as I heard Y/N's uncle saying something to her. I couldn't quite hear what he was saying but I forced myself to leave. I turned around and slowly started walking back to my car. As I drove home, I racked my brain trying to figure out what I could do for Y/N.

Just when I had lost all hope, I noticed someone pulled over to the side of the road. As I got closer, I recognized the driver as Y/N. She was looking at her engine.

I didn't hesitate to pull over. I got out of my car and started walking toward her.

"Need a hand?" I called out. I instantly cringed when she jumped. "It's just me, Y/N."

"Sorry," she stuttered.

"It's okay," I tried to say lightly. "So, you need any help?"

"This stupid thing won't start," she grumbled. "And I have no idea why. Eddie usually. . ."

My heart sank when she stopped talking. One look at her and I could see the tears building.

"He usually handled the car," she forced herself to continue as she cleared her throat.

"I could take a look," I shrugged. She looked up at me, her eyes softening.

"Really?"

"Of course."

I walked over to the front of her car and examined the engine. The longer I stared at it, the more Y/N giggled. She was laughing at me, but I didn't care. At least she was laughing.

"You don't know anything about cars, do you, Steve?" 

"That obvious?" I chuckled as I turned toward her.

"Little bit," she said, showing me how much with her fingers. She cleared her throat and wrapped her arms around herself.

"I could still help," I said quickly.

"How?" Y/N asked, her voice softening.

"I could give you a ride," I offered.

"Steve. . ."

"I don't mind," I said quickly. "I can take you home or wherever you were on your way to."

"You don't have to," she said quickly. 

"I don't mind," I tried again.

"I can call my uncle."

"Come on, Y/N. Let me help you."

She looked up at me and held my gaze. "Are you sure?" She asked, her voice soft.

"Of course," I shrugged. I held my hand out, not entirely expecting her to take it. When she did, my heart jumped into my throat. Ignoring the circus in my stomach, I led her over to my car. She smiled as I opened the door and held it for her.

"Thanks," she said as she got in. I took a shaky breath as I walked around and got in the driver's seat. I started driving to the trailer park, my nerves jumping all over the place.

"So," I cleared my throat, "how have you been doing?"

"Fine," she shrugged, looking out the window.

"Are you. . ."

"Please don't, Steve," she cut me off. She looked over at me and I could see the tears building.

I nodded before turning my attention back to the road. We went through the rest of the drive in silence. I wanted to talk to her but I wasn't sure how to start a conversation with her. Before I would've liked, we pulled in front of her uncle's trailer.

"Thanks for driving me, Steve," she said softly.

"Y/N, wait," I said as I grabbed her hand before she could get out of my car. When she looked at me, I forgot what I was going to say.

"Steve," she said softly when I didn't continue.

"I just wanted to say," I said slowly, "if you ever need anything, the group and I are here for you."

"Thanks," she said, clearing her throat. She started to get out but realized that I was still holding her hand.

"There's something else," I forced myself to say. I looked into her eyes and gathered all the courage I could before saying, "I'm sorry about Eddie."

She turned away from me but right before she did, I could see the tears building. With the hand I wasn't holding, she covered her mouth. My heart sank when I realized she was hiding her tears.

"Y/N," I whispered. I pulled on her hand and she let me bring her into my chest. As I wrapped my arms around her, she sobbed into my chest.

"I wish we could've done something," I whispered. I pulled out of our embrace and held her shoulders as I looked deeply into her eyes. "I wasn't able to keep your brother safe, but that doesn't mean I can't keep you safe."

"Steve," she said under her breath.

"I promise, Y/N, I will always be here for you," I said. "If you ever need anything, and I mean anything, all you have to do is call me. Day or night."

"Day or night?" She teased. "That's a little creepy, Steve."

"I didn't mean it like that," I stuttered. "I just meant that if you needed me, I'd. . ."

Y/N cut me off by leaning over and pressing her lips to mine. I didn't hesitate to deepen the kiss. I gently grabbed her face as our lips moved against each other. When we were both out of breath, we broke the kiss and leaned our foreheads against each other.

"You know," she whispered, "there is something you could do for me."

"Anything," I said instantly.

"I'm starving," she started. I smiled when she didn't continue.

"Y/N," I said softly. "Can I take you to dinner?"

I smirked as I leaned in and kissed her again. I felt her smile as our lips moved in sync. I broke the kiss and pressed my nose to hers.

"If it's not too much trouble," she whispered.

"Not at all."

[honey-milk-depresso]

Alright so I really like your writing and I was wondering if I could request smt ?? Can I request some fluff With Malleus , Floyd and Azul from Twisted Wonderland with a (S/O) who is more on the chubby side and gets easily flustered about it .

Hey, so I've been really busy with schoolwork recently and so I'm not around on Tumblr so often anymore. Sorry for any troubles!

**TW: Mentions of the chest- cuz- titty soft and warm let's be real (not explicit), A bit of insecurity (but trust me your loved, by me also <3)

TWST Chubby s/o who gets easily flustered about it

Azul Ashengrotto

He has the same experience when he was younger: he was a chubby octopus when he was much younger, Azul was a lot shyer about it. Maybe because he was insecure? He can't remember, but he does feel some sympathy towards you.

Azul adores you, and he thinks you're just, well, cute. Body type doesn't really matter to him, so long as he knows you're taking care of your health is already the best.

Your darling octopus loves to just bury his face into your stomach or chest, and just sigh in satisfaction. You just provide him a warm and soft comfort after a long day, and the security and love he needs.

He hides his amusement whenever he does this, you're blushing and stuttering never cease to be endearing to him.

If you're ever insecure about being chubby, he's always there for you, and he feels disheartened to hear you feel such about your body when he feels you're beautiful, adorable and just... perfect.

"My dear pearl... I love you for who you are, and you're perfect the way you are." <3

Floyd Leech

For Floyd, he feels like he's hit jackpot. Aren't you the most adorable shrimpy there is~

Floyd loves your body; it's soft to lay his head on and you're his personal warm cuddly shrimp he wants to affectionately hug all the time when he's tired, in a bad mood or just out of randomness because he loves that feeling.

Personally for Floyd, he loves that you're chubby. It makes you adorable to him and he loves that you're very easy to fluster whenever he lies on your chest.

He loves squishing and pinching your cheeks lightly since they're just so soft. Sometimes he lightly pinches your stomach from behind to surprise you and no matter how many times you whine about it, he'll do it anyways (unless you really don't like it).

Floyd doesn't get it whenever you feel insecure about your body. Not that he's indifferent, but to him, he thought that your chubbiness should be something you're proud of. He loves it, so why don't you?

"Shrimpy, I think you're alright, so don't be so sulky about it. You're the cutest shrimpy no matter what hehe~" <3 and he cuddles you more-

Malleus Draconia

He finds you rather charming, a loveable child of man. Like Azul, Malleus doesn't care what type of body you have. So long as you're taking care of yourself, he's happy.

Besides, he finds your chubbiness adorable. Malleus, like the two other Octavinelle boys mentioned, likes to lay his head on your chest. All for the same reason: titty warm and soft because he feels secure and peaceful this way.

The dragon fae smiles fondly whenever he surprises you by randomly lying on your chest, his horns in a way encages your neck closer to him. He finds it endearing when you blush. It makes you even more cute than you already are~

He doesn't understand when you feel insecure about your body. He frowns with a pout after hearing about how you feel that people judge you for it, or that you wish you were thinner. Malleus already loves you for who you are, and he doesn't care what you look like. You're his source of happiness and he could never imagine life without you.

Besides, he thinks your chubbiness is the highlight about you. He loves it. Seriously.

"Child of man, your appearance is only a mere fraction of what truly makes you beautiful. Lilia told me before that true beauty lies in the heart, and I've come to understand it when I met you. Your "chubbiness" is something I love about you, don't you know? Regardless, you're the most beautiful person in the land, Child of man." <3

Reblogs help! ^^

[salternateunreality2]

Kunsel says:

We should maybe have a stricter definition of what counts as "hacking", okay?

It was a slow day at work, and he decided to guess people's email passwords in 10 attempts.

How does it go?

YESSSSSSSSS

Pro tips: make your password long, that is the most important factor. Use a password manager, most of them have a free option. Adding complexity does help, but focus on length first. Size does matter here. Multi-factor authentication (MFA) also helps a lot.

---------

Kunsel: Zack, gimme your password!

Zack: ...

Kunsel: Come on man, I need it for something!

Zack: 😭😭😭 buddy I would, but I forgot it again 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Kunsel: Ok man, it's ok, let's look around your desk...here, under this pile of chip bags, I think i saw...yeah, here's the penguin toy...and yep, Password Penguin has "Zack'ss00p3rp4ssw0rd!" written on the bottom. Let's try it!

(it works)

Zack: THANK YOU KUNSEL I THOUGHT I'D LOST HIM AND I COULDN'T REMEMBER AND-

Kunsel: *wheeze* Zack let go, I need to breathe *wheeze*

-----------

Kunsel tries to guess Roche's by typing it in.

M0t0rcycle!

ShinyDancer

Sh1n33D4nc3r!

He's in.

------------

Kunsel tries to guess Sephiroth's. On the 9th try, he gets it: Seph+Jenova4ever

Horrible things are uncovered along the way and now he needs to send Sephiroth some information very discreetly.

------------

Lazard. Kunsel knows better. He gives a few guesses, but decides to actually hack this.

He sets up a hash capturing tool over the internal network and waits for Lazard to log on. He does. Kunsel captures the hash and starts cracking it.

Three days later, the hash cracker has not worked and he has to give up on that.

Kunsel: Sir, I need to get into your email, will you please send me your password?

Lazard: Of course not, that is unsafe and against company policy. However, you're welcome to come to my office to perform any actions we both deem necessary.

Kunsel goes over and Lazard is using multifactor authentication, so just having the hash cracked wouldn't have worked anyway. He sets up a keylogger surreptitiously on Lazard's workstation while "performing updates" and showing Lazard new features in his email.

The things he captures with that keylogger:

* Numerous emails covering for boneheaded shit the SOLDIERs did.

* The letter "A" typed about a thousand times into a text file labeled "definitely not screams.txt".

* Moogle searches for "how to convince your employees to get therapy", "pasta recipes", "therapists near me", "child psychology for adults", "play therapy for adults", "cat psychology", and "shrimp pasta recipes".

* The password: &oh'ihiy_-8_gi"it"gi_ipkb0(-ur#3-@--LXS4ever--9(9;0(!08(098+pihjboigig(@ukopih

Then it is a simple matter of finding a zero-day race condition hack in the MFA software, timing things just right, and entering the password and hacked MFA key at the perfect moment.

Kunsel of course has pity on the man after seeing even more emails such as...

* Explaining to Roche that doing squats over his motorcycle makes it look like he's humping it, and it is making people uncomfortable.

* Asking Genesis to please not actually firaga the recruits this week, they don't need a lawsuit. No, it's not character building. No, even though it was part of his home training and Shinra sanctioned training a few years ago.

* Inviting Sephiroth over for shrimp pasta to discuss strategy.

* Asking Angeal to seek therapy so the others will follow his lead.

* Telling Zack that he could not have a therapy flamingo in the office. Even if it was a lawn ornament.

* Warning Hojo not to take Sephiroth this week.

* Warning Hollander not to take Genesis and Angeal this week.

* Reaming Heidegger out very politely for all his BS.

Kunsel logs out without doing anything. Lazard needs a break.

--------

Kunsel calls Angeal pretending to be the help desk. Angeal, a bit embarrassed over his upbringing and unsure because he feels unused to technology, eventually gives Kunsel the password: BanoraBoys123!

----------

Genesis' is guessed on the 7th try because Kunsel didn't want to bother typing in an entire stanza of Loveless with numbers instead of vowels.

1nf1n1t3_1n_myst3ry_1s_th3_g1ft_0f_th3_g0dd3ss__w3_s33k_1t_th7s_4nd_t4k3_t0_th3_sky_r1ppl3s...

He sends an email from Genesis inviting everyone to a Loveless recital on Tuesday. It backfires because several people, including Genesis, show up and have a great time.

-----------

Kunsel tries Zack's little trooper friend next. He's a tough nut to crack. He won't pick up his PHS to get vished, won't click on Kunsel's phishing emails, and won't tell Zack or Kunsel his password.

Kunsel captures his hash and cracks it. It takes a full 24 hours, but he gets it in the end:

!1986fuck_this_shit

[panelshowsource]

alex talked about that recently in this interview! [rubs hands together like a mischievous little shrimp] i hope we see it one day heh

hehehe it was a fun task! we've NEVER seen alex play such a character during a task like that — he's received cuddles and made demands and eaten meals, but this was next level Alex Acting — so that was really fun!

lucy talking incessantly about alex's legs but mans also got his long sparkly toes

i think people are too quick to call this or that iconic, but ngl the second i saw this final image...it's practically a horror movie poster...PERFECT

can you imagine greg davies being your drama teacher and then he quits to become a comedian and the next day you see him on tv as Massive Greg hand feeding a man with no teeth who is pretending to be a tortoise

honestly if that's the one that haunts you i'd say you got off pretty easy, i scrub my eyes with concrete mix every night to try and forget ass sandwich and yet... but hey at least when he hurt his hand he finally had an excuse for that stupid bandage he wears hahaha

she was being so sincere and he was Such A Little Shit 😭

you know what i was binging some simon stuff as well, since it was his birthday, and ran across this again after all these years!

aw anon i'm so glad ♡

moooost of my fave episodes are like ~2005–2015ish? probably the nostalgia!

21.01 with jess hynes bc she is an icon to me

21.05 love seeing simon and miquita together

21.07 with martin freeman

22.02 with stephen fucking fry YES

22.04 was crazy like conchords-era rhys darby was there (i LOVED flight of the conchords lmao) and then johnny vegas and danny dyer next to each other? what a lineup

22.12 with josh groban, omid, martin freeman, heston is an ALL-TIME CLASSIC

i LOVE the guest-hosted episodes with martin freeman, rhod gilbert, frankie boyle (especially 24.12 with miles jupp and professor green), jack dee, alex horne, kathy burke, and johnny vegas

23.12 doctor who special HANDS DOWN

24.02 it's hilarious how respectable catherine tate is offset by how ridiculous catherine tate is

25.06 when greg hosted with frankie boyle, h was there just being h, holly walsh angel, it was a riot

john barrowman is also extremely iconic on buzzcocks, probably most so on 19.05 but also when he hosted 25.12

there are tons of older episodes from the lamarr era that i love — bob mortimer is so funny on this series especially on sean's team, 12.05 when jimmy and claudia were with phill, fun to see ian dury on 5.01, and so on — but these above are some of my personal all-time faves!

aw i really appreciate the rec! first i would like to say i looked it up on youtube and stumbled across the american version and holy shit the dude who hosted brainsurge on nickelodeon is hosting that and WOW my brain would have died never having remembered he existed if i hadn't seen him just now — so that was very weird. ANYWAYS i'll check it out!

imo it didn't start with ben miller...rob is always like this... sometimes when the pod episodes are shorter (less than 10min? does he do that anymore), you can tell some of the bullshit is edited around, but now that they're longer-form conversations he is dominating every episode. i'm certainly no rob hater, but it's really unsurprising to me because facts are facts — rob is self-involved, extremely concerned about being seen and being heard, incredibly pouty if not outrightly bitter when he's not recognised, when fame/success doesn't chase him, when he's getting less from life than he believes he deserves. there are aspects of rob in the trip that aren't far from reality, if you see what i mean. rob is, honestly, quite showbiz. don't get me wrong, he's funny, affable, talented, we love him! but he's not a stellar podcast host because he doesn't have the attention span to let someone else have a moment. have a story. put something on the table. there are definitely times i give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he's trying to form a connection by sharing a related experience/feeling/whatever, but other times he's just being self-involved, pivoting the convo, and it is what it is. it's too bad when we don't always get lengthy, insightful content for someone we love — like miles, let's say — and when we finally do rob isn't doing his part; i felt that way about the dara episode. i don't think rob means any malice, it's just how he is...+ a dash of being a middle-aged white man in showbiz...

i got this one yesterday...

...and i'm going to dedicate it to you<3

and frankly sign me up for the woz/vcm experience i am happy to be a little tomato in that flapjack sandwich

you guys are really sweet, it makes me smile ♡ i don't know why some days the trolling can really get to you and other days you forget it in a couple blinks... i feel like i've been having some bad days. last week i saw something on my own dash with thousands of notes outright mocking me and i haven't really recovered from the uncomfortableness/just general hurt feelings. i want be better about letting those things go, but i also think a holiday break will do me good. anyways, thank you for always enjoying the blog and taking the time to be so kind ♡

—————

WATCH LINKS MASTERPOST / FAQ / TAGS / ASK

[starpiastri]

he’s good for my heart but he’s very bad for business…

“It’s not for lack of want, Seb, and get off my tie.”

Seb lets the black tie drop despondently back to the white of Mark’s shirt. He’s sure his mouth is wine stained but he’s fine, he can see clearly - he knows what he wants, and what he wants is his six foot something driver in front of him, who’s growing more irritated every minute that passes.

No, he’s not done. He wants him against a wall or on a couch or fucking anywhere, in the damned elevator at this point. Drunk Sebastian wants to climb Webber like a tree. Tipsy, he’s tipsy. Anyway. Fuck professional boundaries.

“It’s about morals.” Seb huffs a laugh at this, putting a hand on Mark’s bicep. He squeezes once, because the muscle is there and Mark lets him.

“Morals, is that it?”

God, doesn’t this elevator take forever?

“Was it morals you were questioning that night in Venice? Or was that something else?”

The lift might not stop moving but Webber’s chest does, the steady rise and fall stuttering as he swallows. His eyes flit away from Sebastian’s face to straight ahead. “I’ll tell you again, then. You’re my boss and my responsibility. It’s fucked up to even- to entertain this.”

“But those aren’t morals, those are facts.”

“What, even that last part?” Mark is audibly exasperated, visually so when he puts a hand to his face, wiping his brow. He looks to the ceiling as though God will speak to him through the metal container. He won’t.

Seb shrugs. “Yeah, even the last part. We both know what we’re doing.” He grins, all teeth like a hungry shark. Mark is shrimp. This is how it goes.

“What we’re entertaining.”

“You are so, incredibly-.”

Webber doesn’t finish his sentence. They breathe in unison until the speakers ding to say they’ve arrived at their floor. It’s a penthouse suite in the city, one of Sebastian’s favourites for the summer, and Mark’s walking behind him, as always, holding the keycard in his hand, keeping a keen eye on the surroundings. Sebastian’s still a wanted man. He’s still a near victim of assassination.

Not that he even cares right now. All Seb hopes is that his ass looks good in his slacks, before he spins and presses his back against the door, covering the place where the keycard needs to reach.

“Sebastian.”

“Won’t you ever say my name differently?”

“And how do I say it?”

“Like you’re sick of me.”

Mark looks up again. God doesn’t listen or tell him anything. “Isn’t that suggesting something, then?” Too cool off, to chill out. Take a step back.

“You couldn’t be sick of me.” Sebastian blinks upward, ignoring sirens. There’s a moment where the air is far too hot between them, where Mark could, if he so wanted, lean down to kiss him against the door. Seb wants it so much, enough wanting for the both of them, for Mark to give up the pretence he keeps claiming. To give in to Sebastian’s wiles, Webber would call them.

It’s just harmless flirting. Wine drunk. “Let me open the door and get you to bed. You’re drunk and you’re-“

“Open the door then, Webber.”

Professional names spoken aloud, unprofessionally and with glee. Sebastian shifts himself over the door handle further again. It’s a bit uncomfortable against his tailbone but he leans against it nonetheless. Mark doesn’t smile, doesn’t even flinch. He’s got really good at this, which is entirely the opposite of what Seb wants, no, needs.

So Sebastian cranes his neck just an inch, upwards to meet Mark’s glare.

“Mark,” he croons. “Open it.”

There’s a moment where Sebastian thinks he’s taken this too far. That it’s pushed him too far over, into the no-go-forever zone. That Webber’s got a resignation note in his back pocket for the morning.

The fear is aptly broken by Mark’s left hand on his waist, fingers curling to his back, thumb digging in just slightly. It’s not enough to cause pain, and Sebastian begins to laugh, hiding the way his heart jumps at the touch.

“Is that all you’ve-“

Webber shunts him, suddenly, to the side, and holds him firm on the shoulder with his free hand. Sebastian yelps, either from the push or the grab. Maybe both.

In one swift motion, the door beeps with the key card, and Sebastian stumbles back as Mark lets go all of a sudden. Stumbles back, and lands square on his ass.

“Ow. There’s gentler ways to move me.” Mark reaches out a hand, and pulls Sebastian up to his feet. He sighs when they’re face to face again. “You don’t make me gentle.”

“Hah-“ Sebastian brushes himself off, walking to the kitchen island sink to pour himself a glass of water. It’s cool, refreshing to his alcohol sunken throat. He could drink fountains, but Webber is watching, as usual. Waiting to be over and done with him.

“-then what do I make you?” There’s a look that crosses Mark’s face, then, some half mixed cocktail of confusion and clarity.

“Powerless.”

[vofart]

this is going zto be long

Ok hear me out they both pull each other out of the water (metaphor for the darkness) and then they sorta stick together, a little pining but also a lot of pirate nonsense. this is before they start working together and how they met

Most of this changes what i said in the first hash out but what ever also I suck ss at spelling I font give a shit

So! Arahabaki is a very cruel deep sea god and the other sea gods don’t really like them so they curse him (gods have to team up to curse eachother rare but happens) 

Curses arahabaki to ‘live on the surface in mortal form’ 

Being a tricky god Arahabaki finds a loop hole or two so they don’t lose all their godly powers. 

Chuuya (10yrs old) is the mortal form that Arahabaki chooses (a little at random) as a young child. 

The ‘entrance’ of Arahabaki just so happens to be in the middle of a navy fleet/port absolutely destroying everything and leads to an influx of pirates (especially younger). 

The Sheep is a sailing vessel with a bunch of kids on it. 

They find Chuuya in a port town and take him in. (11yrs old)

 Chuuyas a natural, navigation and fighting come naturally to him and he sorta becomes their captain but not by choice. (17 yrs old). 

Chuuya has managed to avoid falling into the water up until this point. 

But during a navy altercation the ship get damaged enough that they have to jump in. 

Arahabaki’s godly form is triggered when he is fully submerged 

 in this giant (300ft tall) form Chuuya knows he’s Chuuya and Arahabaki (at the same time) and after all these years Arahabaki has been like idk weakened so Chuuya has some control 

Arahabaki’s voice sorta goads him on and makes him a little feral. (Chuuya has so little impulse control)

Arahabaki’s voice gets stronger when Chuuya is mad and right after shrinking back down

Anyways Dazai is on a navy ship (why? not sure) 

 sees Chuuya ruining ship after ship and although he’s immortal he really doesn’t like pain so he’s like shit gotta stop this raging god. 

he tries to calm Chuuya down and succeeds, not sure how but it involves yelling. 

Chuuya shrinks back down to normal chibi size and Dazai fishes him out of the water and takes care of him (Chuuyas not in great shape) 

he sleeps for a few days and Dazai desapears after Chuuya wakes up leaving him in the hands of the navy. 

The navy is not sure what to do with Chuuya so they (try) turn him into a reputable sailor 

after about three yrs (20yrs old) Chuuya gets so fed up he blows up a navy vessel and returns to the life of a pirate.

 He doesn’t settle on a ship because he doesn’t mix with others very well and after a close call with Arahabaki he decides to make port for a while. (22yrs old) 

after only a few months in port Chuuya meets Dazai again. 

 lounging on the docks as the tide goes out

 everything is fine until he hears gasping cussing and choking from under the peer.

 He checks it out only to find Dazai Hog tied to the pyling. 

Chuuya (very  carefully keeping his body mostly out of the water) jumps in and cuts the ties and brings him up 

He has been down there for a while Dazai says at least a week and Chuuya is like this guys fucking nuts should i toss him bback in.

 He looks horrible and i mean like worse than a corpse. His pale and pruney and just kinda half eaten (literal bites outa the man) and 

he just looks at Chuuya and coughs up so much water, and goes oh look it’s the shrimp. 

Chuuyas all like we are the same age, i think(hes looking a little rough okay) and Dazai is all like no we are not. 

Theeen he conks out muttering something about shipwrecks and how much better crabs are than shrimp. 

Chuuyas just kinda sits there (his instinct to protect doesn’t let him leave) 

the sun starts to set and Dazai wakes up and just whines about how he wishes he could die. 

And Chuuyas like you should have you would have been down there at least since this morning. I told you shrimp it’s been at least a week. 

He talks about how he’s immortal 

Somehow they stick together (Dazai does recognize Chuuya)

I think Chuuya craves life on the waves

Sooner rather then later Chuuya places Dazai in his memory

They spend a couple years jumping from ship to ship until they finally just steal themselves one

They start a crew and pick people all over the place

Some members never leave and others cycle like dishwater 

Possible other crew members (total 9)

Gin (Auku is on land in this) cook dead quiet and great with knives

Hirotsu bc I love him 

Higuchi kitchen help

Tachihara alternate gun man

Kyouka intusted to Chuuya by Kouyou 

OC?(s) I need to fill out some rolls 

Armed Bar and General Services

Fukuzawa

Kunikida

Yasano 

Kenji 

Jenichiro siblings

Other

Kouyou is a sea witch

Ranpo just really likes Fukuzawas bar

Poe a Navy cartographer kisses^

Atsushi was on Double Black for a while but left to chase his own horizon

Akutagawa has his own ship

[wulfums]

What are Whatwulf’s thoughts on Charlie!! I think you mentioned they hang out sometimes? What’s that like?

(Anyone can send me other Smiling Friends characters to talk abt Whatwulf w. teehee)

Yeah, they're friends! They knew each other before Whatwulf knew Allan, but after Whatwulf was besties w Mr Boss, timeline wise

(The order he knew people was Grim + Gnarly(College) -> Mr Boss -> Glep and Marge -> Charlie -> Allan -> Pim )

Whatwulf and Charlie met like, half a year before Whatwulf started dating Allan. They met at the bar at Spaghetti Disco- they were forced to sit next to each other due to it being very busy there.

Whatwulf struck up a convo with Charlie about the place and how expensive it is. Here is how that went

Charlie: "Oh my god RIGHT? Like, what do you mean a mixed drink is $20?"

Whatwulf: "RIGHT!!! And I think they reheat their spaghetti, personally. Spaghetti is supposed to be cheap not $30!"

Charlie: "And they don't even give you breadsticks like Olive Garden- at least for their prices they give you the breadsticks. This place doesn't even do that. Man I wish they had breadsticks."

Whatwulf: Honestly, I only started coming here to eat after the old Salty's closed.

Both of them at once: I used to go there all the time as a homonculus/pup

So they bond over talking about the nostalgia of the old outdoor Salty's playground and the amount of times they both got injured there, and it kind of goes from there! They start hanging out weekly. Charlie never mentions where he works or who he works with the whole time and Whatwulf finds out by chance when he makes a delivery to the office- Whatwulf is excited to find out Glep works there too.

Next time Charlie and Whatwulf hang out, it's at Whatwulf's place. Charlie was like "I mean we could have hung out at my place but, you know, the centipedes." and would not elaborate further.

Whatwulf loves to ask questions about Charlie's work. At this point in the timeline it would have been a day or two past Shrimp's Odyssey.

They start watching some movies together that they're both nostalgic about and shoot the shit. Whatwulf ends up asking, "Hey, your coworker is hot. Do you know if he's single...?" And Charlie assumes Whatwulf is talking about Pim and is like ".....Im sorry are you talking about Pim?" While laughing a bit and Whatwulf is like "Uhh the red one. I don't really know his name." And Charlie is like "You know what? I have no idea. I actually don't even know what he DOES outside of work. I think he only likes girls though, sorry man." and Whatwulf is like "Yeah, I don't think Id pursue it anyways." and shrugs and they continue with their movie night.

Charlie is absolutey baffled to find out that Whatwulf and Mr Boss know each other well and call each other Bestie. He finds this out way before Whatwulf met Allan and Pim briefly on the delivery run. Whatwulf explains that they met at Pride years and years ago, and Charlie is like "Aw man, that's awesome. You know Meep City kinda sucks- but we do have a pretty good pride event."

Half a year later, When Allan says he's unsure if Whatwulf even LIKES men, Charlie is the one whose like "Are you fucking kidding me right now. I knew that before I even talked to him." and him and Glep are the ones who convince him to, you know, just talk to the guy. They both reassure him that Whatwulf is really chill, and Charlie is like "He's into you anyways." even though he prommyd to Whatwulf he wouldnt tell, but you know, its important this time.

After Allan and Whatwulf start dating, Charlie and Whatwulf keep up their Late Night Hangouts, though now Charlie is talking about his weird adventures with Pim more and more. This is after the Halloween episode but before Charlie Dies And Never Comes Back. Whatwulf was at the funeral he was just offscreen.

I think Charlie and Whatwulf start hanging out a bit less once Whatwulf moves in with Allan, but they try to hang out a couple times a month, even if it's shorter than before. But they still are good friends and stay good friends.

[catchyhuh]

What sort of hobbies or interests do you imagine the Gang having (outside thievery or arresting said thieves)? And do they influence the way they go about their usual antics, or are they mostly Unrelated to everything else in their lives? :0c

oohhooohoho this is a good one because i have a small handful of actual canonical hobbies/interests that come up occasionally and then i have the ones that solely exist in my mind palace. at least until tms decides to let a random little shrimp from america take the reins on their most longrunning successful franchise anyway,

lupin:

i can’t remember if i mentioned lupin loves puzzles. wait yes i did in the video game list SORRY I’M ALREADY HAVING TROUBLE REMEMBERING WHAT I HAVE AND HAVEN’T GONE OFF ABOUT but yes in canon lupin LOVES puzzles. less like, jigsaw puzzles, more like shapey puzzles. but hell man if you can get him to sit still long enough he might like a jigsaw one just to pass the time

i think he likes cooking. him, jigen and goemon all seem to really Get it. so count this under all of them, they just love yummy food and occasionally the process of making it too

he likes to draw :) somebody has to be behind all the slightly different variants of his little mascot guy. SOMEBODY has to redraw bank floor plans so they can plan out each tiny step of the heist. somebody has to scribble over his own wanted posters to put funny little devil horns on the image CMON now!!

jigen:

only jigen could be in a fucking arcade theater complex and pull out a fucking crossword puzzle. why is this dude honestly trying to speedrun being a grouchy old man before he even turns 40. i mean no hate, no hate to crossword puzzles, they are cool but i’m more of a wordsearch guy. BUT THERE’S OTHER STUFF TO DO JIGEN!! at least he’s not going for sudoku though

very random but i think he might like sewing in a passive sense. with how particular he is about his hat and really ANY clothes on his person, he probably just picked up a needle one day to fix a tear and then was like Huh. this isn't too bad actually. kinda repetitive and calming. and then the others found out and tried to get him to fix all their stuff too SO HALF PLEASANT AND HALF NOT SO PLEASANT

fujiko:

you may think i’m insane but fujiko must genuinely have some sort of fondness for computers and technology. more than she lets on at least, because. how DO you know how to fly every type of aircraft. how DO you know how to crack into almost any computer firewall? how do you know how to isolate a computer virus as it’s ALREADY corrupted HALF OF THE SYSTEM?? this goes beyond job necessity to me she must really have some hidden underlying passion for this stuff

i think it’d be cute if she took up some kinda journaling. i mean god knows she’s not writing about her FEELINGS in that little leather notebook, and she doesn’t really have the time to commit to like, scrapbook shit (even if she had the time, she’s not sentimental like that) but something simple like “this is a list of m&m variants in order of how disgusting to not disgusting they taste to me <3” with little candy stickers and gel pen hearts drawn in. the next page has a bloodstain on it and the only thing written is “dw about that lol”

goemon:

okay i KNOW i’ve pushed the Arts Enjoyer goe agenda before but i recently saw that part 3 production art again of him chilling with the pottery wheel so i must state, once again, goemon LOVES sculpting shit in all forms. chip away at some rock, throw zantetsuken at a block of wood, actually invest in some clay for fucking once, whatever he uses, he’ll make something pretty good. and even if it wasn’t good it’s still a fun hobby for him. keeps his hands loose but precise

oh my god you know what he would love. dominoes. you know when people make those like crazy long domino strings that form a pattern when they’ve all fallen. if anybody here could have the precision and strangely placed patience to do shit like that it’s definitely this guy

zenigata:

going through this list easily and eagerly typing up little funfacts about things i do know they like outside of their. “jobs” and then slowly realizing as i get to zenigata that i... cannot think of anything he. uh. does for fun. damn. he DOES talk about movies a lil bit from time to time, and knowing his mixture of a freakish eye for detail and also missing the most obvious things ever i bet hearing him talk about a movie is twice as fun as actually watching it. i would pay HUNDREDS to hear him try to explain what he thinks of space odyssey to me

it would be-- i have no reasoning for this but it would be so cute and hilarious if he did like. tiny magic tricks. you know? like card appearing out of thin air, coin behind your ear type shit. tiny stuff he figured out on his brief off time. we know lupin can do little stuff like that too but it'd just be hilarious if zenigata, completely unawarely and unintentionally for once, ended up being better than him at some inconsequential shit like making a pair of keys disappear

and i guess in light of recent discoveries they all like golf. apparently. well. no one is perfect

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

ALSO. DAMN. speaking of worm being a fucked up story and knowing not everybody's gonna make it. i'm curious. do u have like... undersiders survival tier list? i wanna know who u think's gonna make it or who u think might not. when ur done having shrimp emotions over brian fridge etc of course :]]]

MAN. WELL. I DEFINITELY WOULD NOT HAVE HAD BRIAN DYING FIRST. GOD. hes not even dead yet (which is worse btw) but with the state hes in i may as well count him as such. i cannot see a world in which they convince bonesaw to fix him here. ugahuhh.

ANYWAY. this is not gonna be in list order bc im just thinking out loud as i type so here does. if im so real. lisa has had not one but TWO death scares already *and* her power is the least offensive so i thought for sure it was gonna be her.

im tempted to say taylor has final girl energy because she does and she could have plot armor considering most of the story is from her pov but with all of the interludes showing the story could VERY EASILY be told from someone else... i would not be fully surprised if taylor dies eventually and we switch main characters entirely. i would not be HAPPY about this per se but i wouldnt be totally surprised. taylor is so fast and loose with her own safety in regards to everything i could see her throwing herself into some situation and not being able to get herself out of it (very funny considering rn she is paralyzed at the hands of bonesaw in view of the brian fridge. aha. taylor you are in danger) HOWEVER i think if this is going to happen it wont be until wayyyyy later in the story and also itll either be some dramatic blaze of glory or just like. inconsequential and to save someone else .

torn on alec and rachel. if you wouldve asked me this like a week ago i wouldve said id expect alec to die second but i dont know why exactly? just vibes i guess. rachel is so hit or miss bc i definitely think shes strong enough to survive but also. again shes got the whole putting herself in stupid situations because of her anger thing which would easily get her killed if she was up against the wrong person. and i think in a meta sense killing her specifically would be SUCH a major shock. especially if its like. sudden or short or offscreen or something. someone who gets built up as super tough and indestructable getting offed in a second. idk. i can see it. ALSO LITERALLY THE FACT THAT AS OF RN THEYRE BOTH TARGETS OF THE S9 and from the way their test is supposed to work, only one person can make it out of there. which means AT LEAST one of them will have to die if they dont disrupt the test enough. (<< if this happens im expecting rachel to be the one that makes it. i dont think she wants to join the nine but i think shes more likely to go through with it than alec)

aisha.. i do not know enough about to say whether or not i think she'll survive much longer. she has done some STUPID SHIT and seems rlly reckless and doesnt care a whole lot for her own safety but also. need more info on her!!!!!!!!!!!

[iguessitsjustme]

I Saw You in My Dream Ep 9 Thoughts

Would you guys like a physical representation of how I’m feeling after work today? Of course you would:

Anyway. I got a glass of pickle juice and am debating heating up my pizza but eating is currently hard for…reasons. Should be better tomorrow though. ANYWAY. Liveblog under the cut:

I gotta not get distracted and focus this episode cause my mom needs my account to watch I Hear the Sunspot. Will I be done at the agreed upon time? Who knows! It’s a mystery! Let’s find out together.

IMMEDIATELY a noisy neighbor. Amazing.

OH so we’re picking up RIGHT where we left off. Steamy.

Oh the lights turned out. And our boy is scared of the dark. Kind of puts a damper on the sexy times if he’s too afraid to continue.

Yu comforting Ai was very sweet. I love them a whole lot.

I cannot eat those shrimp but I desperately want to peel those shrimp. I feel like peeling the shrimp would be very satisfying. And those shrimp look very peelable.

Noisy sidewalk people go aWHAY

I still maintain that the levitating means it’s a dream that isn’t gonna happen. It’s just a regular Ai dream and not a prophetic one. It reflects his fears not the future.

Ai calling himself Yu’s boyfriend might have just ended me. They are so cute. I am so normal about them I SWEAR.

Ai telling Ing to just ask Yo and communicate is great. Ai is actually a genuinely good communicator. 

I swear to god if we still have a weird non-love triangle with Waan, I’m gonna lose it. We been there done that. New plot please.

Thank god Ing is there too. Bless Ing.

Okay actually Waan is a good person. Give him his own boyfriend.

The real question: will Ai also fall asleep? I think it would be funny if he did.

LOL IT WAS A SEX DREAM. Ai keeps having sex dreams with Yu. Boy wants it soo bad.

Somehow I KNEW that Ai would drunkenly tell his parents. I love it.

What a sweet family.

Careful in that art cafe…I’m pretty sure that’s where Sun and Lin fucked against the wall. Hopefully they’ve cleaned the place since but hard to tell with all the paint on the wall.

See what communication gets you, Ing? Isn’t it nice?

Gaga literally just gave me a network error in the middle of Ai and Yu’s sex scene and the timing could not have been funnier. God bless. But I lost my place damn it.

Literally 30 seconds before the end of the episode. Truly amazing.

Oh next episode looks intense. Well not the jealousy stuff. But the man in the house? Oh I can’t wait.

Anyway what lesson did we learn today kids?

[hopeswriting]

part 1, part 2

CW: Swearing

Xanxus would wonder if he went insane, but one thing his years in the slums didn’t fuck up is his perfect eyesight.

The shrimp and his mom have apparently finally realized they’ve been mafia all along all these years, and how the hell he’s the only one to realize it’s all bullshit?

“Timoteo-san, Darling,” Nana started pleasantly out of the blue at dinner. “Would it be okay of me to accompany Iemitsu at work when possible? I’ve been a little ashamed lately to not know much about it even after all these years, and frankly, I’d love it too if it could be a way for us to spend more time together. You see, I miss my husband on the daily quite a lot.” She laughed bashfully, looking at Iemitsu with loving eyes.

It came out so out of left field, Xanxus almost snapped at her right there and then.

The fuck did she say?

It shouldn’t have felt like it came out of left field. How could he have possibly missed that kind of development? It’s not as if he ever stopped watching, nor did his brothers, yet the surprise was genuine from all of them.

Iemitsu, lovesick fool as he’s ever been, predictably beamed, tears welling up in his eyes, and started singing praises at his beloved wife. The old man warmly welcomed the new too, brightening and giving his accord right away. His brothers considered the new a moment before dismissing it in the next instant.

Xanxus felt a chill run down his spine looking at the shrimp smiling and laughing at his parents’ antics, not sparing the rest of them a glance, the very image of someone who learned the new at the same time as them. As if—as if there could be any other explanation to Nana’s behavior but him.

So the shrimp can act now, can he?

News fucking flash.

But there was no fool at the table that day like every other.

The first actual reaction to Nana’s words was the old man glancing at the shrimp, with that look he gives him sometimes. Iemitsu managed not to, but Xanxus caught the aborted movement anyway. Rico and himself looked at the shrimp too before catching each other’s eye.

CEDEF and Vongola at large welcomed the new change warmly too, making it the new gossip going through the rumor mill.

Is Nana Sawada finally shedding her old civilian life to give herself fully to the family? Could they expect Iemitsu to eventually choose an official right-hand man or add his wife to his team of his most trusted subordinates? Does that mean…

They trail off at this part, giving each other eloquent looks, letting the unsaid speak for them.

The fools. Just as there’s a rule against a Vongola Boss being of the CEDEF’s boss’ lineage, the CEDEF’s boss can’t pass down his position to any of his relatives, let alone his fucking son. Or do they really think they’d rather break the latter rule instead of the former?

That Iemitsu’s allowed to bring his wife at work is already cutting it close, and adding to it they were allowed to live in the Vongola mansion, the old man better have a plan for when someone will inevitably confront him on the matter.

There were the ones who weren’t so happy at the news too, because there’s always those trashes finding reasons to bitch about this and that, though in this case Xanxus leans more on their side, but generally speaking, Nana Sawada involving herself more in the family has been considered a joyful turn of event.

Ha! “Joyful” his ass. If it was only Nana Sawada, he could pretend to not be as smart as he is and believe it, but the shrimp?

Three years old, and he was already giving them that annoying look of his whenever anyone tried to make him swallow the pill of being mafia through the childish framing of good guys versus bad guys. But now six years old, and he suddenly agrees Vongola are the good guys and he wants to become one of them too?

Give Xanxus a fucking break.

Soon, the sight of Nana anywhere else than at functions and events the wife of the CEDEF’s boss couldn’t be absent from lost its novelty, people moving on and minding their own businesses again, but the fuck if Xanxus will.

He’s been watching them more carefully than before, the shrimp more so than his mom, and turns out he should have seen it coming. The shrimp’s changed, and look at him fucking go, walking the fine line of making it just noticeable enough for the people he wants them to notice to pick up on it, while keeping it subtle enough for the people who know him to not be tipped off by it.

Truthfully, they’ve yet to do anything really noteworthy, let alone anything truly suspicious. They willingly show up at more functions than before, when before they went only to the ones they couldn’t be absent from. They greet the people that ought to be greeted, Nana at Iemitsu’s arm and the shrimp’s hand securely in hers, but instead of waiting in a corner after until the soonest it was polite of them to leave, they keep mingling with the guests. Talking to them, making conversations. Laughing together. Being looked down upon and trying their luck elsewhere. Not finding them good enough and trying their luck elsewhere. Nana along with Iemitsu, but sometimes alone too, often alone, and the shrimp at the kiddies’ corner.

The kiddies’ corner, but by no means the least important corner of these functions, nowhere even close. Not when they’re the future of the mafia, and any older and more experienced mafioso worth his salt, let alone a mafia boss, makes it a point to watch over them, to raise and teach them, to gain their favors and loyalty.

Not when they’re the ones who’ll grow up to inherit the many positions that keep the mafia and Vongola turning, prospering and powerful.

After Nana made it known to the old man she planned to become more involved in the family business, she changed the shrimp’s bodyguards. Not all of them, but she handpicked the new ones who are to be the closest to him and stay with him at all times.

Their backgrounds were thoroughly checked, and all information about them shared among them as it’s customary after the old man gave his approval, but she handpicked them. Or more like gave her approval after the shrimp did.

Xanxus would be overstepping if he looked into what Nana does at CEDEF, so who the fuck knows what does she do there, but Iemitsu is no fool, no matter how much he likes to play the part of it. He must only allow her around the lower ranks and their works, but then again, what the fuck does it matter when she’s the CEDEF’s boss’s wife?

Iemitsu’s no fool, but who else is he supposed to unwind to at night and trust the most in this world?

It doesn’t sit right with him either that Nana looks perfectly fine with that. There’s no reason she shouldn’t be, but she looks like this is where she wanted to be all along.

It’s the same with they way they’re acting with the staff at the mansion. It’s the same way they’ve always been acting with them, saying “Please”, “Thank you”, “Sorry”, “Good morning”, “Would you…?” and “How are you?” like they’re trying to win some fucking most annoyingly polite and considerate people in the world contest, as if they still don’t realize why not anyone else does the same.

Some because they’re assholes, and Xanxus would count himself among them and doesn’t give a shit about it, but mostly they can’t afford their staff to ever forget their place even when off work. Not when they’re the ones who literally watch over their sleep. Now when they’re the ones patching them up at their weakest. Now when they’re the ones entrusted with their kids.

Not when they could be their downfall, should they have the balls, skills and luck for it, working at the heart of the Vongola as they are.

Of course they’re perfectly aware of it too, have to be if they want to keep their jobs, and so far none of them has ever shown the shrimp and his mom anything but strict professionalism in return, but it doesn’t mean they might not be thinking any less. That they don’t care about hierarchy because they’re seemingly unaware of the basic fact the mafia will collapse in and of itself without it no doubt made some of them lose all respect for them, but it leaves everyone else, and they’re all only humans at the end of the day. Especially now there’s intent behind the kindness the shrimp and his mom indiscriminately show them.

Xanxus would know. The first person to become one of his people is Alberta, his former nanny. The second’s one’s Sarah, his former home tutor who caught him up on his education so he wouldn’t be humiliated and looked down upon when they sent him to private school along with the other mafia kids his age.

Xanxus would be overstepping too if he looked into what the shrimp’s been up to at school lately, but he heard his teachers find him more hard-working than before. By which they mean and fail to realize it’s that he’s actually less reluctant than before to learn, because the shrimp’s always been trying his best all along even if it’s never been enough for anyone.

None of these facts have to necessarily be concerning.

Except there’s only a few reasons he can think of as to why they’d be acting like that, only the one reason, and it’s driving him crazy that still, not anyone’s doing anything about it.

Whether Iemitsu is in on it too or not, of course he wouldn’t, but it still sure as hell could be considered insubordination at best, rebellion at worse, and Xanxus won’t care to confront him with that if it comes to that.

The old man’s silence on the matter is obvious too. He’d need much more than that to take action that’d be seen as reasonable considering the extent of the repercussions of even the littlest and most insignificant of his actions.

Richie can’t bother taking care of something that isn’t undeniably his and only his to take care of to save his life. Max’s too self-assured to deem a six years old’s actions concerning, no matter what his actions are. Rico…

The fuck if Xanxus knows, but he has yet to deem it worth acknowledging the matter. That works for Xanxus, as the longer this new status quo lasts, the more he can prepare himself for when it breaks, but he isn’t happy about it.

The shrimp and his mom are obviously trying to build themselves a network, to build connections, to gather allies, if not support too. They seem to have decided to go about it starting from the bottom of the ladder.

And trying to make the shrimp the face of the people with that face and that personality he has?

Fucking hell.

*

“Master Xanxus,” Anil says after knocking at his door. “Nana Sawada is here.”

“Let her in.”

She walks in, in his sitting room instead of his office, and she better fucking be grateful for it.

“Hello, Xanxus-kun. You asked to see me?”

“I wasn’t asking.”

The smile on her lips doesn’t falter. “I’m sad to hear it. Here I was hoping we could enjoy some time together having a friendly conversation. I don’t suppose you’ll agree to let us speak Japanese then? You know how homesick I can be at times.”

“Then you should have had Iemitsu move to Japan instead,” he says in Italian.

Nana sits on the couch, her smile still not faltering. “Then at least allow me to speak Japanese,” she says, switching to Japanese without waiting for his permission.

“I didn’t allow you to sit.”

She huffs a laugh before finally dropping the meaningless pleasantries, turning her cheerful smile into the slightest turn of her lips upwards. “You get to demand to see me whenever you want, but I don’t need your permission for something as small as when I can sit. Not when it’s only the two of us.”

Xanxus sits on the armchair next to the couch, forcing her to turn her neck to look him in the eye, the low table in front of them bare of any food or drinks. It’s petty power and mind play unbefitting of both their ranks, but anything more would give more weight to this meeting than they’d both want to deal with.

“This is a friendly conversation,” he decides to say first.

“Oh?”

“You heard me. So do friendly tell me just what you think the shrimp and you have been doing lately?”

“What are you under the impression we’ve been doing? For you to summon me like this.”

Xanxus scoffs. “Fucking spare me any of us playing dumb, will you?”

Nana looks at him for a beat of silence, unblinking. “Tsuna wants friends, that’s all. He’s just trying to break out of his shell more to make it happen, and I’m helping him with it.” Xanxus just barely restrains himself from rolling his eyes. He bores his eyes into her instead, and she gives in, though it might have been her plan all along. “He wants a family.”

“Ha!” Xanxus leans forwards, digging his fingers in the armrest. A grin pulls at his lips he can’t be sure isn’t a snarl, and so he smooths his face in a composed mask again. “Then let me ask you again just what do you think you’ve been doing?”

“Would you or any of your brothers keep Iemitsu at his job when you become Vongola Decimo?”

Xanxus misses a beat, the question unexpected. “Of course not.”

It’d even be one of the first positions they’d replace. Iemitsu isn’t lacking at being the CEDEF’s boss, but he’s entirely too much an embodiment of the ninth’s generation, and it’s no secret for anyone he’s the man the old man trusts the most after his Guardians.

“That’s right. And the CEDEF isn’t the CEDEF’s boss’ in a way they can pass it down to anyone but their successor. But you’d have me wait and do nothing?”

“You’re only drawing attention to himself that will bite him in the ass when it doesn’t have to happen at all.”

“Come now, Xanxus-kun,” she says, tilting her head. “Now you’re just calling me stupid to my face. Of course this is attention that is bound to be turned to him sooner than later. We’re just taking control of it.” Xanxus huffs, leaning back against the armchair. It was worth a shot. “Actually, it’s even one of the first things that’ll happen once one of you becomes Vongola Decimo, isn’t it? You’ll decide what to do about the remaining heirs.”

“So fucking what? If you have something to say about our characters, then just spit it out.”

“I’m willing to trust you.” Xanxus raises his eyebrow. ‘Willing to’, is she? “But I won’t trust anyone else on the matter. Can’t.”

“Do you even hear yourself? Your best shot is to keep waiting quietly until one of us becomes Vongola Decimo. What exactly do you think we’re going to do to him then? We’ll be all but too happy to give him the peaceful life in the furthest corner of the mafia he wants.”

“But Tsuna doesn’t just want a peaceful life. He wants to be happy too.”

That makes Xanxus a little speechless despite himself, a little disbelieving. “And that can’t happen as long as we’re part of the picture, is that what you’re fucking saying to me right now?” Nana says nothing, and he barks out a harsh laugh. “Some fucking gall you have. Not finding us good enough, but still wanting to build that happiness using us.”

“He’d just be taking what he’s due.”

Xanxus sobers up in a second, going still and unblinking, and she can’t stop herself from flinching, wincing. Good. “And what the fuck is that? He’s due something from us? I thought you were supposed to give something for that to happen first, instead of going against what you want to make use of.”

“I’d agree if you were only talking about me, but Tsuna’s as much Vongola as the rest of you. He’s as much an heir as the rest of you too, however much I wish he wasn’t.”

“Mafiosi children making it to six years old is a fucking lifetime worth being grateful for in most places in the mafia.”

Nana’s face crumbles at the mere thought of it. She intertwines her hands tight, tight enough to mark her skin with her nails, but she still can’t stop them from shaking.

She only half puts herself back together, her voice strangled. “And how far in adulthood I can expect him to make it?” Xanxus doesn’t trust his anger to speak again just yet, though he wishes she’d hear the scathing mockery in his voice. The old man made it all the way to his sixties fine enough, didn’t he? “I am grateful. But I’m also terrified. That’s exactly why—”

Xanxus kicks the low table, making her startle and tense. He clenches his jaw, gritting his teeth hard, but then forcefully makes himself relax.

He won’t get through her, that much is clear.

“And what is it that’s so much better than this he wants so fucking badly?”

It seems the answer’s obvious to her, yet she holds back her words after opening her mouth. When she opens it again, Xanxus knows it’s not the words she first planned to say that come out of her mouth. “You should come visit us at Namimori sometimes, Xanxus-kun. You could play with Tsuna, go out with him. You could help me cook all your favorites. We’d show you the neighborhood, the town and its people. I think you’d like it.”

Her smile is genuine and warm, and Xanxus dismisses her offer before even truly considering it first.

What a fucking joke. Don’t all roofs above your head and three meals a day look the same everywhere? And Vongola is the least likely roof to ever collapse on him.

“What else would you have him do?” she asks softly. “What else would you have me do? I’m his mother. Timoteo-san should officially name his successor any day now, right? So we’re already running out of time, and he only has Iemitsu’s reputation to his name. But you’d still have me wait?”

Xanxus snorts. “Now you’re the one calling me fucking stupid to my face.”

The shrimp is no such harmless and powerless figure within Vongola, has never been so, and not just because of the inherent influence, status and authority given to him through his lineage. His flames alone would be more than enough for people to rally behind him.

They still could find him incompetent at everything else, but there’s always ways around an incompetent boss.

A weak boss, on the other hand, is a lot harder to deal with without taking extreme measures.

“Fine,” she says, smiling. “Tsuna can stand on his own just fine, of course, and I know that better than anyone else. But that’d just make them find him worth using, and I won’t stand for that.”

Xanxus frowns. So this is it, is it? They’re having the same conversation, but only Xanxus understands all the nuances of it.

Better they find him worth using than them actually becoming interested and invested in him.

“Should I give you a friendly bit of advice seeing as we’re having a friendly conversation?” Something chiding and fond flickers across Nana’s face, so motherly, it makes him uneasy. “You have this under control only until they take it away from you. Only until you’ll have to give it away to them.”

“I won’t let that happen.”

“That’s nice and all, but do you get what it’d mean if you were to succeed?”

Nana keeps holding his gaze, unwavering, because of fucking course she does.

Xanxus stands, uncaring of the sneer that slips past him. What a waste of time this was, but at least now he knows exactly where he needs to stand.

“Xanxus-kun.” She holds her hand out to him, and Xanxus can’t help but let his eyes linger on the gesture.

She’s the only mother he’s ever known in the mansion, and though she’s never tried to become their mom too, Xanxus’ never let her be motherly towards him either.

He doesn’t take her hand.

Nana takes it gracefully like she always does, smiling as she takes her hand back. “I know you’re scared.” Xanxus glares at her. “Worried, then. Angry. But I promise he has no intention to take anything that belongs to you and your brothers away from you. He won’t ever do that, you know him. So let us please not be enemies of each other.”

Ha. “Let us not be enemies of each other”, and not “Let us stand together”, huh?

Xanxus feels incredibly stupid to have ever thought her clueless in and unaware of matters of politics.

*

Xanxus silently sneaks up behind the shrimp, but doesn’t try to conceal his presence from him. His bodyguard lets him, not alerting the shrimp, and so he startles when Xanxus picks him off his feet by the collar of his shirt.

“Let go of me, let go of me!” he screams in fear and panic, kicking his feet and flailing his arms wildly. “Billy-san!” He flares his flames, wrapping his hands around his wrist, and Xanxus feels the heat increasing against his skin.

It’s much too slow a reaction, but at least it’s the correct one.

“How many times must we tell you to always remain aware of your surroundings even at home?”

The shrimp lets go of his wrist, whipping his head to look at him, all tension leaving his body near instantly. “Xan-nii! You scared me!”

He pouts, and Xanxus puts him back down on his feet, rolling his eyes.

“I apologize, master Tsunayoshi,” his bodyguard says.

“Ah, no, it’s okay.” Xanxus glances at him at the same time the shrimp gives him an eloquent look, smiling, and he steps back to give them privacy. “I was paying attention,” he says, looking back at him.

“Shrimp,” Xanxus cuts him off before he can tell him it’s just that he doesn’t see him as a threat to him. He doesn’t want to hear it today. “Whatever you’re planning to do, stop it while you still can.”

Xanxus failed to knock some sense in the mother, but maybe the son will fucking listen.

Or maybe not, a serious and determined look taking over the shrimp’s face.

“I just—”

“Want friends, yes, yes,” he parrots mockingly. “But you want a family too, don’t you?”

The shrimp frowns, before some sort of realization dawns on him. He shakes his head. “No, not like that.” Xanxus’ brow twitches. What does that mean? Maybe he also was missing some nuance when talking to Nana. “Xan-nii—” He steps forwards, but stops himself from reaching out to him. “Home doesn’t have to only be Vongola, does it?” he says softly, carefully, watching out for his reaction. “And family either.”

Right. Xanxus wasn’t missing anything, but he sure as fuck still doesn’t get it.

Vongola is the first home he’s ever had. Maybe not family too, but sure as hell family in the way everyone else means it.

Rico’s the one who constantly stayed by his side for days on end after his first kill, even sleeping with him, and refusing to leave no matter how many times or how violently Xanxus snapped at him until he could finally eat with his hands without throwing up the food right after.

Max’s the one who taught him he didn’t have to get rid of his temper, only had to learn to control it to help him get the things he wants faster and easier, and he never let it make him cower from him all the while.

Richie’s the one who taught him about pride, who looked at a pathetic boy from the slums with only a delusional mother for family and told him he was allowed pride too, especially considering how hard he was working for it.

The old man is the one who took him in and out of the slums.

Vongola is the only home Xanxus wants and gives a shit about.

“You think you’re so much fucking better than us.”

The shrimp steps back, frowning, confused. “That’s not true. I like you, Xan-nii. You always look at me even if I don’t make you. You always look at people, and I like that.” Xanxus would feel guilty if he was a better person. That’s just survival, something he picked up from the slums and proved useful in the Vongola mansion too, so of course he kept it and sharpened it. “I like Rico-nii, Max-nii and Richi-nii too. Grandpa too. I just…”

Xanxus bristles at the worried look he gives him, tensing. He never could get used to the perceptiveness that apparently runs through their blood. Some dumb fuck called it hyper intuition, as if there’s something mystical or supernatural to it when it’s just a matter of knowing people and paying attention to them, but it does always put him the most on edge when coming from the shrimp.

Nana said the old man should officially announce his successor any day now.

He should, but he has yet to do it even if Xanxus is the only and obvious choice to make.

He’s been the most favorite Vongola Decimo candidate for a year now, give or take, which is no fucking easy feat when his brothers have been fighting him tooth and nails all along to replace him in that position. But he’s been holding on strong, yet the old man is still clearly hesitating.

Xanxus still has to find any of his Guardians compared to his brothers. Though as far as Vongola and the mafia at large know, he already has the six of them and it’s just a matter of him making it official, if for no other reason than because he got sick of all those trashes throwing themselves at him in the hope of becoming his Guardian. Obviously the old man wouldn’t be fooled by it, but it still doesn’t explain it. It’s not like they’d do the passing of the rings right after announcing the official successor, and it’s not as if Xanxus hasn’t been searching for his Guardians.

The fuck else can Xanxus do to finally be enough in the old man’s eyes too? To receive the same look he sometimes gives the shrimp, and the same look of approval and pride he gives to his brothers?

He wishes he knew.

He already tried everything and succeed at them.

He wishes the old man would just tell him what it is, but the longer he doesn’t, even now, the more resolved Xanxus becomes to find out himself.

The shrimp grabs his hand, obviously growing uneasy at his silence. “Xan-nii. I don’t care about Vongola, I swear. You can have it.”

He doesn’t fucking say.

Xanxus wishes he’d care.

You’re careful about the things you do to something you care about, careful not to end up breaking them.

“So you’re saying you could take it from us if you wanted to?”

The shrimp falters, loosening his hold on his hand. “No, that’s not…”

Xanxus frees his hand fully, crouching in front of him. “Listen, Shrimp. Why do you think we try so hard to have people on our side and keep them on our side? The people’s will is power in and of itself. Keep acting like that, and they’ll make you want Vongola too.”

“But I have my will too,” he says, frowning. “I won’t let them.”

“Yeah, great fucking idea. And what do you think will happen to Vongola when you’ll fight about who gets to do what they want?”

The shrimp stops frowning, clearly not confused by his words, clearly getting the meaning of them perfectly.

He still only gives him a shrug, keeping holding his gaze, unwavering.

Because of fucking course he does.

This is now or never to nip this in the bud, Xanxus feels it deep in his guts. To nip him in the bud.

Federico be damned, because there’ll be no turning back if they let this grow any further. If they let him grow any further.

But Xanxus’ the one the shrimp first came to, bruised from the beating he got at school, and the one in front of whom he burst out crying. Xanxus had gone to his school the very same day, and it didn’t help him make friends, but no one ever put a hand on him ever again, that’s for fucking sure.

Xanxus’ the one he first called by his nickname even if he never made any effort to scare him less, what with his temper, cursing and rough appearance.

Xanxus’ the one he confesses to about how much he doesn’t like all his mafia training, education and upbringing, and how he often wonders what it’d be like if he was just normal. Xanxus mocks him and makes fun of him for it too, but apparently not in a way that hurts him when other people do the same.

There’s only ever been family to Xanxus ever since the old man took him in, but there’s always been family and family to the shrimp, and he’s the one who should know they were never meant to be made to choose between the two.

Xanxus laughs.

What a fucking mess.