#anyways he is very shrimp to me i think of this man and all i can think is shrimp

[dissentersbedamned]

what the FREAK is this

[kissforyouu]

making a sanrio bento box for your boyfriend ! ♡

pairing : jungkook x sanrio girl!oc

genre : fluff

a/n : happy new year!! hope you guys have a wonderful year ahead ❤️

i wanna know, know, know, know,

what is love?! ♡ !! (๛ ˘ ³˘)۶

you were so excited. so excited that you could run a marathon, have a dance battle, binge watch 10 dramas and study a whole semester in one night. you have all the energy in the world right now.

for the past 2 weeks, all you've been seeing on the tiktok is women making cute little bento boxes for their partners. and you just KNEW that you had to make one for your boyfriend. it's a must. they looked so freaking out your heart literally fluttered at the mere thought of making one for your boyfriend and seeing his reaction.

so now here you were, in front of your kitchen island, preparing your boyfriend's lunch box. the box was just plain steel (boring!) with no design or anything else. it suits jungkook. but you were gonna personalise it according to your likings. you don't think jungkook would get mad anyways. he'd find it rather cute.

currently, you were placing all the tiny fried shrimp in the lunchbox, also making sure to pin cute hello kitty and flower toothpicks on it. you also put a little mini container with some sauce in. for the main proportion, you decided to just make a cute hello kitty sandwich. truth is, jungkook was just going to his aunt's house to see his little cousin. a lunch box wasn't even necessary, but you wanted to do it anyway. you made sure to make it look extra cute so that jungkook's cousins would want a bite too!

closing the sandwich and placing it inside, you also sprinkle some rainbow sprinkles around the sandwich. oh my god, so cute! (you want to eat it now)

the lunchbox was turning out pretty cute and really really pretty. there were flower shaped dragon fruit inside alongside another small container of sprinkles and raspberries.

you're having so much fun by just cutting these fruits into little shapes.

"AH!" you let out a big scream, you're startled. obviously there's only one culprit. jungkook. he pinched your waist.

"baby, what is wrong with you?" you send him a small glare, turning back to continue your work.

"what's this?" jungkook takes a step further to stand next to you, his head hovering over yours to look at the food.

"ugh, i wanted to surprise you with this." you pout, leaning your head towards jungkook's shoulders. he snorts, humming.

"it's fine, i like seeing you cook anyway."

"it's already cooked! i'm just putting it all together!" you whine, completely annoyed by his sudden appearance.

"tssk, come on, baby." jungkook leans forward to rest his forearms on the table, head turned to you. he tries to sneakily sneak a piece of dragon fruit in his mouth but fails. laughing out, he still munches on the fruit, making your eyebrows frown.

"jungkook! you're so annoying!" your lips formed to a big fat pout, eyebrows raised as you playfully slapped jungkook's back.

it was clear to jungkook that you just wanted to surprise him with the bento box and that he ruined all of your plans by checking on you. but it was so cute. he was watching you from afar earlier, finding it completely endearing and adorable how you were so focused and just in your little bubble. he was so in love.

"no, you love me." he teases back.

"no, i hate you. you're a very annoying man." you roll your eyes, going back to your work while jungkook snickers.

"that's not what you say in bed though. oh my god, jungkook! i'm yours! i wanna cum!" he snickers.

"hey!" you slap his back again. jungkook dramatically clutches his heart, making exaggerated noises. "don't do that." you glare.

"yes, ma'am."

he couldn't help but smile, enjoying this sweet moment to the fullest. for the rest of the time, jungkook stays fully quiet, just letting you have your fun meanwhile he's just admiring you. here and there, he would sneak his arm around your waist to tickle you a little and make you shriek or rub your ass a little.

currently, he had his chin on your shoulder, arms on each side of you on the table. you were taking an awfully long time finishing off this little lunchbox.

"done yet?" he groans. you hum a small no. jungkook whines back.

"i'm finishing off the last bit, wait."

jungkook nods, letting go of your body and sitting on the table instead, right next to the lunchbox.

"you look so pretty." he coos, the tip of his toes poking your waist.

"ew! get your dogs away, jungkook!" you can't help but giggle as you poke his feet.

"no, they wanna touch you. my toes love you sooo much."

"ewwww, i didn't know you liked feet!" you laugh.

"yeah? wanna try it out next time?" he jokes.

"no! what the fuck?! that's nasty!" your face turns sour, vigoursly shaking your head from side to side.

"joking! joking!" he pokes his tongue out.

"very funny. but anyways, i'm done." you hold out cute bento box for him to see with a bright smile on your face.

jungkook giggles, jumping off the table and bringing you into a hug. you place the bento box on the table and hug him back, letting the big man make you completely disappear in his embrace.

"thank you, i love you." he kisses the side of your head, then temple.

"hey!" you grab the collar of his hoodie before he pulls away, then point at your lips.

he scrunches his nose in reaction to your actions, "of course."

your body pulls you closer by holding your face with both his hands, connecting your lips for a sweet kiss.

"oh my god, i forgot something!" you mumble in the middle of the kiss. jungkook pulls away, letting you wander off to wherever again. you run to your room, pulling out one of your pink sticky notes and a pen.

"what're you doing?" your boyfriend trails behind you, curious to see what you were doing.

"i'm writing you a note."

"lemme see." he places his hands on your hips to have a peek but you quickly shoo him away.

"read it when you eat it."

"but—"

"anyways, i'm done." you interrupt the poor man. he opens his mouth to say something, but stops. instead, he ruffles your hair.

once you're done assembling everything together, and also folding the sticky paper and making a heart out of it, you wrap everything in a serviette and hand it over to jungkook.

"okay, byebye. eat it with your cousin, okay? tell him i missed him!" you pat his cheek.

"of course, baby. bye, i love you." he kisses your lips one more time with a small squeeze to your waist.

-‘๑’-

"kookie!" jungkook's cousin jumps on his back, super excited that his very much older brother is back to see him again.

"hey, buddy!" he squeezes him in his embrace, delivering a small kiss to the child's cheek.

"you wanna eat something?" he playfully punches the kid in the stomach.

"yeah!"

"you remember y/n? she made this for us. you know, she told me to tell you that she missed you."

"yes, kookie! the pretty lady you brought with you." the tips of the little boy's ears turn into a deep shade of pink at the thought of you. once jungkook notices this, he laughs, pinching the little boy's ear.

"you like her?"

"y‐yeah..." he shyly admits.

"okay, i'll bring her with me next time, hm?"

the kid's eyes instantly lit up as he excitedly jumps up, arms in the air.

"let's eat this for now."

the little note you wrote had been in jungkook's mind the entire ride and he's so eager to finally open the food up and read what you wrote. sure, it was just a small note. but jungkook loved these kind of things. it was the little actions that mattered the most to him. he loved it whenever you showed your love through little things like this. it was so much more than just little for him.

once the little starts to happily munch of some of the fruit, jungkook quickly picks up the little note. he carefully opens it up, excited. it amazed him how he would get excited over the smallest things you'd do.

once he reads the notes, he swears he's never been more in love. there's a big fat smile on his face.

✉⤷ you're the only one for me. ♡

-‘๑’-

taglist : @fungie2332 @wintertxt @wheexine @hyunjinswifeee @ohsweetmimosa @canyon-lwt

[cu7ie]

big bro satoru ! ୨୧ — see: virgin killer, cherry popper — mdni!

( ˶ᵔᴗᵔ˶ ) — cw. perv!gojo, alcohol consumption (you're both drunk-ish). reader's a virgin. just some casual headcanons. pornography viewing! voyeuristic reader (sorta.) drabble at the end. vagina having reader.

imagine hanging around with your friend and they offhandedly mention they have an older brother. they don't talk about family much but he sounds just as cool as he actually is when you finally meet him.

you're out of highschool and you still don't have much experience with relationships. your friend on the other hand has had tons, and sometimes they're giving you lengthy talks about their past relationships or inadequate sex life and you just smile and nod through it luv. 

on the inside you're burning up! they tell you the raunchiest shit with no filter or padding, your virgin baby brain has grown ten sizes bigger with knowledge you honestly have no business knowing. 

leaves you all hot and bothered, grappling with these new feelings - maybe a desire to try it out for yourself? you shake your head. as of now, it’s not like you have many prospects.

you’re a stranger in college. nobody knows your name, and your bestie is only your bestie because they practically forced themselves into your socially inept arms.

so you put a pin in it, for the time being.

gojo only comes into the picture because your friend invited you to hang out with them both, and gojo didn't mind you in his house, so boom:

you guys are chatting. and siblings being siblings they have inside jokes and banter you can only laugh at!! then you're trying to contribute, but the conversation just takes the strangest turn .

your friend starts talking about their ain't shit ass boyfriend (again, they always do this) and gojo is a supportive sibling, so they take turns tearing the dude to shreds.

you can only quietly wonder why she’s still dating the guy, anyway.

you guys are passing drinks around at this point, and your friend , verrry tipsy, starts getting a little … provocative with the complaints. slurring their words, they look you in your eyes and just starts rambling.

"shrimp dick," , "can't fuck worth a damn", "shit head-giving ass"

gojo's mostly overhearing, but responds to everything she says. he’s just like: “can't relate. that’s soooo crazy. could never be me tho!” 

irritated by his interruption, more than a little drunk, they start to bicker.

friend: "nobody cares about your dick satoru!"

gojo: "hey hey maybe your friend does!!!  … been side-eyeing me all night."

!!!! the way your head snaps to look at him !!!!

because you did, but you didn't think he'd notice!

and plus it's not like that ?!! he's just very handsome man ,,

he is very pretty .....

but he really made you nervous !! you're all hot in the face and it's not cause of the alcohol and your friend is making a face at you now, a little dramatic disappointment curving their lip and it's just like,

bff: ew?? right in front of me????

you'd hide in your drink if you could.

you: uh n-no i wasn'- it’s not like that!

they don’t believe you, just roll their eyes and say:

bff: i know you don't get any but like??  calm down lol there's more fish in the sea, get out of your little pond, babes.

and you're embarrassed and can't come up with anything witty in response so you just lower your head and sip your drink while they just fall back into banter.

you guys end up watching a movie. 

your friend drank too much and ended up falling asleep! you're a little tired but gojo's wide awake and maybe he's drunker than you thought because he's slurring a lil.

gojo: heyyyy, pst

he slides a little closer to you, beer bottle in hand. wraps his arm around your shoulder and the contact jolts you out of any sleep you could have been having.

you: wah?

gojo: i said -

you: i heard you ... what did u want ??

he leans into your ear and whispers in it.

"i got a movie for you. way better than this shit they put on .. check it"

and you expect him to pick up the remote but he just fishes out his phone and pulls up a video from his gallery , and it looks blurry at first, but the camera comes into focus and,

your breath hitches.

it's a video taken of gojo, nose deep in some pussy. 

the video is taken by someone else clearly, his head in between their thighs just slurping up on that clit - it's so slick and wet and squishy and the audio isn't down so you are a few feet away from your friend on the couch , who's knocked

and you're just watching this, wide eyed and clutching onto this pillow for emotional support and gojo's hand on your shoulder feels heavier

you: hhhh satoru-san, i don't think i should be seeing this ... isn't it a little private ?

little is an understatement

gojo: well i don't mind showing if you don't mind watching ; )

you: ....okay

you whisper as you sink further into the chair.

he's showing you multiple videos.

there one where it's not his face - it's a girl's, about your age maybe - but he makes sure to point out that it is, in fact, his penis going into her mouth. it's so big she's tearing up. what you think is mascara follows tracks on her cheeks and you gasp at how sloppy the ordeal is. you wonder how she's even breathing.

then there's another one, where he's bouncing them on his cock so good they're crying, 

"deeper, deeper! harder - fuck!"

and that’s when you put your hand up to the phone and your cheeks are so hot they're numb. you feel like a voyeur !!! and you don't know if you enjoy it or are just shocked but something's getting to you !

gojo just points to the video , looks at you and says

"i think you'd look good in these kinds of movies. i think you're real pretty ..... n' well.... i'd fuck you."

and he giggles and pats your head and you're gaping like ???!!!!!????? satoru-san why are you speaking to me like that! 

you: "satoru - san. i .. i think you're handsome too but i don't ... i'm not ... "

gojo pulls your body closer to his, you're touching his torso with yours and

gojo: i really like the way you say my name. it's... kinda turning me on 

and you don't pull away when he grabs your hands and one onto his crotch, wraps your fingers around him until you’re cupping his balls and your thumb is grazing his clothed cock.

he's so annoying actually 😭

like satoru is cute !! you've told him as much several times !!

but your hand slowly traveling up hard cock is too too too much!

you: satoru-san! i've never umm.. really done something like this before ? please. we shouldn't, n-not here anyway.

gojo: we head up to my room ?

you: satoru-san ..... that's not what i meant..

but he's already picking you up easily and carrying you down the hall despite the little squeak of protest you offer!

he mentions something about being glad to "pop your cherry"

gojo: she's always on and on about how you've never had a boyfriend,,, ssssweird but that probably means you've never been fucked either right ???

you sputter and flush, satoru’s grin nearly reaching his ears as you tremble but don’t struggle in his grasp.

you: that's none of your business!! seriously what is -

he pushes his door open and you're cut off by him tossing you onto his bed, fumbling with his lamp until he remembers how to turn it on. 

your back hits his mattress and you sink into it immediately. satoru’s room is cool, but the situation at hand ensures that his decor is the last thing you’re interested in. the warm orange lamp light fades out the jewel tones of the night’s shadow, though gojo’s silhouette cuts into the brightness and for a moment his presence takes your breath away.

you feel like a mouse caught in cat’s teeth. “i know about your type.” the way he curves his words makes your ears perk up, your elbows propping your body up as you retort, “and what could you possibly know ‘bout m-me….?” your voice trails off as satoru clambers into bed beside you, overtaken by impossibly soft sheets, stare directed right at you.

“you wanna fuck. i know that look from a mile off. lucky for you, i can help you get off." he whispers in your ear, and you feel your pussy clench down on absolutely nothing. his hand brushes against your thigh and you quiver.

"hnn." you make a noise of indecision, the arousal pooling in your panties feels sticky and irritating, and satoru - the tease - stills his hand on your leg, and feels along your tummy instead.

"oooh."

"you like that baby?" he's disarmingly charming, coaxing you out of slumber into your grand sexual awakening.  "um.. i.." satoru pauses.

he mutters. "go on… use your words, precious." 

your resolve escapes you at satoru's teasing. he's already so experienced - his .. aptitude makes you confident that he'd treat you well, there's no reason why you shouldn't …

just be a little selfish.

"c-can we kiss?" gojo laughs a little softer than you're used to.

"what's so funny? i just want to-" satoru flips you onto him, gripping your hips and adjusting you so you comfortably lay atop his. 

"s'not funny, really. you're just as cute as i thought you'd be, though. wet pussy and all and you still just 'wanna kiss'." his second laugh is heartier, but not loud.

"watchu waiting for then?" he grins cheekily and you body grows frustrated. it's too hot in here.

 your hands are curled onto his chest, your head close enough to his that you can smell the alcohol on your breath - he could probably smell it on you, too - but you don't care.

he's hard beneath you. you feel his cock pressing into your ass and he uses his big hand to squish you against him. 

your cheeks burn.  "kiss me-"

your lips press to him with a fervent need. your inexperience is cute to him, so he lets you take the lead. you have spirit, the ambition of a slut - but no skill. you squeak and moan a little nervously as he deepens the kiss, his hands cupping your ass gently as he starts to play with it. he palms the fat in his hands and nips your lower lip before you pull back to catch your breath.

your body is hidden under your clothes and it makes gojo suck his teeth, trying to ascertain with his hands instead, those curves and planes of your body, starting at your hips and moving up. a whine gets caught in your throat as his hand creeps beneath your shirt and you realize just how cold he is.

"satoru!" you jolt, feel your nipples grow diamond tough in response.

"hush hush. they're still asleep, n' as far as they know, you were coming onto meee…" you look down at him, pupils blown and mouth parted and lips slick.

"you're a pervert, satoru-san. i-i'd tell them as much." satoru laughs louder and you can't be convinced he's not doing it on purpose, now.  your positions shift again.

you yelp as he flips you over suddenly once more, your back hitting a velvet duvet and your head gracing the soft, cool top of his pillow, your breathing more labored that it had been before. 

he whispers. "let me eat you out." he's already weaseled his way between your thighs, looking at your shorts like the idea of them offends him. "these shorts make ya ass look fat. but skirts are easier access. you ever wanna have a quickie again, take notes." he's already peeling them from your thighs, infernal heat pouring off you in waves. your panties follow in short order.

"oh wow." satoru's excitement renews unbidden, getting up close and personal with the pretty petals between your thighs and licking his lips like it's his last meal on earth.

you feel your nerves prickle. an uncertainty that pervades your chest cavity makes an uncomfortable heat rise. you can feel his every breath. your pussy throbs like it's your heart and for a moment, your unsettled. "hey!"

you clasp your hands over your mouth and satoru's eyes slowly drift up. "s-sorry. didn't mean to-"

"yell? 's fine. you still want me to keep going?" 

he looks unreal like this.

his hair sticks to his forehead a bit, swear dewing on his temple as he shudders and huffs, basking in this smell of you. is it sweet? his lip curls in hunger, and you know every instinct in him is primed to eat.

your hands find themselves tangled in his hair. you fold your fingers between the strands, flipping it up and out of his face. "yessss. please. i need this." you beg, and he gives in without ceremony.

the sensation is tantalizing. he curls his tongue in between your folds, gathering your slick on the tip of it. he groans, spreads your thighs wider so he can bury his whole face in your box.

first, it makes your spine twitch and your toes curl - the feeling so intense that your body wants to rip you away from it. your back arches; his lips wrap around your clit and you whine as he starts suckling on you. the sound of wet lips on wet pussy is obscene.

he slurps loudly, eagerly, not even paying mind to how quickly you've fallen apart in his arms. 

any mess he makes, he cleans up with his tongue. he laves the muscle over your precious pussy, teasing you with how deep he can go into the fold. 

you never noticed his tongue was so long. 

you're soaked. there's something coming - and you,

yelp just then, feeling the barest sensation of teeth against your cunt. "s-satoru!" (he chuckles into your muff and the sensation makes you groan.)

 even distracted, you can feel it. just stronger now. a coiled snake in the depths of you, beautiful and aching and eager to be free.

you've masturbated before - er, tried it. you're just a little awkward on your own, and it's never felt anywhere near this. incomparable in every sense of the word.

you didn't even realize you closed your eyes until you hear gojo say, "you squirt?"

the whole of your face burns. "i.." you're searching for breath you didn't notice you lost.

you shake your head. "i dunno-" 

"well, let's see." his hand leaves your thigh, and the pad of his thumb presses onto your clit molasses slow. the way he pushes and tugs at the nub nearly makes you cum on the spot.

your moan is broken and cracks, and you're too far gone to be embarrassed to ask for more. "you … are we going to h-have-" sex, is what you were going to say, but satoru interrupts, tearing his eyes away from your slick cunny.

"just say fuck. 'are you gonna fuck me'?" he mimics the lilt of your voice faithfully. "say it." he goads, urges you even, massaging your cute clit with his thumb. 

"a-are… are you gonna fuck me?" you mewl, and gojo's ministrations ease up. you don't know if you want to cry out in relief or desperation. your whole body feels like its throbbing. you need this so, so bad…

a mischievous glint in satoru's eye appears, sudden. you bite your lip.

"say my name." you don't hesitate.

"satoru-saaaan." gojo's breath catches. then he laughs at you. a question settles on your tongue - what's so funny - but you're shuddering and don't have a mouth to speak.

great thing that Satoru's observant.

"you're tryna be here all night, clearly." 

[ddollfface]

𝐀 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐃𝐞𝐯𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

𝙅𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙃𝙖𝙣𝙢𝙖 𝙔𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙃𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙤𝙣𝙨 (Pt.1)

Warnings; bad writing, possessive behavior, really ooc (I'm 90% sure that I missed the mark on this one), this is pretty short, yandere if you really squint ig. If I missed anything, then please let me know ♡ Oml, tumblr's being a little bitch right now, I literally cannot right now. I'm going to repost Pt.1 and Pt.2. I'm so sorry, I have no clue as to why I have a word limit rn... Just know that this is super ooc :/

Okay, now that I've established Jack's background and overall interactions with reader, like how their initial meeting was, etc, we can now get into what it's actually like with Jack once you've known him.

Jack isn't obsessive necessarily, like how Katsumi or Ali Jr are, instead he's more so protective, possessive even. Since the two of you have gotten close, he's realized that he doesn't want you to leave him. You can't leave. This is the first time he's ever felt such an attachment for someone, felt such emotions for someone.

Throughout his life, he's always been determined on one goal: defeating his father. And he's never even given a second thought to some woman or to having a family. Nope, it's never even crossed his mind, but seeing you with another man just doesn't sit right with him, seeing you converse and smile with someone else. It just makes his hand itch, feeling the need to punch someone creep up his neck.

That smile belongs to him, him, him. You're only supposed to smile at him. He only smiles around you, so shouldn't it be the same for you? Why do you seem so close to this guy? He looks like a stick, Jack's sure that he could snap him in two, no doubt. He could take care of you far better than this shrimp ever could.

Much like an animal, Jack gets territorial over what he's deemed to be his, and you're his, don't you understand? Jack will begin to take up all your time, conveniently interrupting any dates that you have with another man. He'll show up to wherever the two of you are and loom over the man, silently telling the twig to buzz off. Of course, the other wouldn't stick around, too scared to face the beast of a man Jack is.

But you being you notice how you can't keep a single man, that isn't Jack, around no longer than a week. You'll begin to get skeptical. Not necessarily questioning Jack because it's too early to make assumptions, but you're keeping an ear out for any odd behavior.

Anyways, moving on to another headcanon.

I don't think Jack would be very touchy in public, clearly not too comfortable showing such vulnerability around others. Jack won't hug you, won't kiss you, and won't hold your hand. If anything, he acts like he's a stranger, someone you've never spoken a word to, but that's far from the truth. You know this.

And you don't need the PDA, you're fine. You can tell by how he looks at you, how his honey-brown eyes seem to soften ever so slightly, barely noticeable. It's as if he's speaking a thousand words with just one look, and this is the pillar of your relationship. The two of you are connected on a different level, though you both view this connection differently.

Like most Baki men, this is where the yandere tendencies come in. I feel that the majority of Baki men would be able to have a healthy relationship with someone, but it's when their feelings are reciprocated is when everything goes downhill. It's when they're devalued as a man and completely ignored, being pushed aside just to be chosen for someone else.

This is where Jack's possessive tendencies appear, seeing you with other people just sets him off, especially when he perceives you as undervaluing the connection you two have. I think that Jack would have to have a special type of relationship with you for him to become "yandere." He'd have to see you bonding with others, bonding the same way you did with him. This will surely make him feel as if you're using him (you're not), and that your relationship with him isn't special.

Once a sliver of doubt has seeped into his mind, all sane thoughts are out the window. Now, he's running on his instincts, and they're telling him to take you away to somewhere safe, somewhere where the two of you can be together, forever.

At first, when these thoughts pop up, he's in denial, his rational coming into play, and telling him to not do anything too crazy. Sometimes, it's hard to do so, especially when he sees you interact with others, laughing, and smiling with other fighters. How can you be so open with others? Treat other men so kindly when he can't even look at a woman without thinking of you?

What do they have that he doesn't? No, he has more. He knows when you look at him that he's your one and only, he can tell. The way your eyes glimmer and scrunch up when you smile, the smile lines becoming more apparent.

He can't let go of you now; he's in too deep; he's far too stubborn to give up now. The two of you are bonded, in his eyes. You understand him, and he understands you. You've just gone a little astray, don't worry he'll help you, just like you did with him.

[allthingsfangirl101]

The Munson Twins – Steve Harrington

Steve's POV

The Munsons were always a strange pair of twins. For one thing, they were polar opposites of each other. Eddie was into weird role-playing games. Y/N was into volleyball. Eddie is in danger of repeating his senior year. Y/N graduated early. Eddie is into rock and roll. Y/N plays the classical violin and the piano. Eddie loves black leather jackets. Y/N likes flowery sun dresses. Eddie is kind of a loner. Y/N is more popular than me.

Since Y/N graduated early, we spent our senior year in some of the same classes. That being said, we barely spoke to each other. The most we ever talked was congratulating each other after one of us won a game. All through high school, Y/N and I ran in the same social circles because of our sports so we often went to the same parties. Just because we went to the same parties doesn't mean we were friends.

Not to say I didn't wish we were friends. I've gone to most of Y/N's games and she's gone to most of mine. Whenever I looked in the stands and saw her, I became more self-conscious of my playing. I even went to her orchestra concerts. I usually sat in the back and left before anyone noticed I was there.

Throughout high school, I couldn't get Y/N Munson out of my head. It seemed like everywhere I looked, she was there. Even when I was dating Nancy, my mind often wondered to Y/N when I was alone.

When Vecna started killing teens and Eddie was blamed, my thoughts focused even more on Y/N. I wanted to talk to her about all of this, to make sure she knew her brother wasn't what the town thought, but I also didn't want her involved in any of this shit.

I had to force Y/N to the back of my mind as we tried to help Eddie. When we got stuck in the UpsideDown, I allowed my mind to go back to her, hoping she was safe back in Hawkins. We were walking to Nancy's house and I kept glancing at Eddie. If he knew that my thoughts were constantly on his twin sister, he'd kill me.

"Eddie," I said, clearing my throat as I caught up to him. "Hey, man. Um, listen I just umm. . . I just want to say thanks. For saving my ass back there."

"Shit," he laughed. "You saved your own ass, man. I mean that was a real Ozzy move back there."

"Ozzy?"

"When you took a bite out of that bat," he tried to clarify. "Ozzy Osbourne. Black Sabbath. He bit a bat's head off on stage. You really don't know who that is?"

"No," I chuckled. "Sorry."

"Well, anyway, it was very metal, what you did, is all I'm saying."

"Thanks," I sighed.

"Henderson told me you were a badass," he continued. "Insisted on the matter, in fact."

"Wait, Henderson said that?"

"Oh yeah. Shit. That kid worships you, dude. Like, you have no idea. It's kind of annoying, to be honest. I don't even know why I care what that little shrimp thinks, but I guess I got a little jealous." Eddie sighed before continuing, "I guess I couldn't handle the fact that Steve Harrington was actually a good dude. Rich parents. Popular. Chicks love him. And not a douche? No way. It goes against all the laws of the universe and my own personal Munson Doctrine. Then again, that's worth shit because even my sister talks highly of you."

"Y/N talks highly of me?" I tried, and failed, not to stutter.

I looked over to see Eddie smirking at me. He leaned in a little too close and whispered, "Very highly of you."

"Okay," I said awkwardly as I used my elbow to push him away from me. I cleared my throat and rolled my shoulders back.

"All jokes aside," Eddie said, "my sister does think highly of you, dude. Whenever people would start to talk shit about you, she'd instantly stand up for you. I never understood it, but she's always talked about how people should give you a chance. She believes that there is more to you than meets the eye."

"She really thinks that?" I couldn't help but ask.

"Hell yeah," he laughed.

"I guess I always thought. . . I mean, everyone else saw me as a dick. I figured she did too."

"Nope," he teased. "She always sees the good in people. It's extremely annoying."

Eddie walked away, but my mind was going a hundred miles an hour. I thought over the few, very few, interactions I've ever had with Y/N. We walked a few more miles, the others talking amongst each other while I walked behind the group.

"Alright," Eddie sighed as he joined me. "Enough of this. You've been in your head since I mentioned Y/N. What's the. . ."

He didn't finish his thought. Instead, he turned toward me with a smirk on his face.

"Ohhhhh," he elongated. "I get it now."

He playfully pushed me before continuing to walk through the woods.

"Wait," I called out as I chased after him. "You get what?"

"Come on, Harrington," Eddie sighed. "Please tell me I don't have to be the one to point this out to you."

"Point what out?"

"You have a thing for my sister."

"What?" I scoffed. "I don't. . . Why would you. . . That's so. . . No."

"No?" Eddie teased. "You sure about that?"

"I mean. . . That would be. . . Crazy."

"No, it wouldn't," he said simply. He saw the look on my face and sighed. "Look, Harrington, as much as I may not understand it, Y/N's right. You're a good guy. You'd be an even better guy if you'd grow a pair and tell my sister how you felt about her."

"What if she doesn't feel the same?" I asked before I could realize how weird it was to have this conversation with Y/N's twin brother.

"She does."

My heart jumped into my throat at those two words. Eddie didn't say anything else. He didn't need to. He sent me a wink before jogging and catching up with the others.

"She does," I repeated under my breath. "Holy shit. She feels the same."

* * * * *

Three months later, Hawkins was barely rebuilding. After Eddie's death, there were two people I was worried about; Dustin and Y/N. Dustin was doing what he normally does - pretending to be okay so no one would worry about him. I checked in on him almost every day. He was getting better, especially since Max was improving.

Y/N, on the other hand, barely leaves her uncle's trailer. Every single one of us has tried to visit her, but her uncle keeps telling us she doesn't want any visitors. Y/N won't even talk to the kids.

"Hi, Steve," Eddie and Y/N's uncle sighed when he opened the door.

"Hi, Mr. Munson," I greeted. "Is Y/N here?"

He sighed as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Look," he sighed, "I really appreciate all you kids have been trying to do for Y/N, but I think it might be best if you give her some space."

"But. . ."

"I'm sorry, Steve," he continued. "I'll let her know you stopped by."

My heart sank as he closed the door. I couldn't get myself to move as I heard Y/N's uncle saying something to her. I couldn't quite hear what he was saying but I forced myself to leave. I turned around and slowly started walking back to my car. As I drove home, I racked my brain trying to figure out what I could do for Y/N.

Just when I had lost all hope, I noticed someone pulled over to the side of the road. As I got closer, I recognized the driver as Y/N. She was looking at her engine.

I didn't hesitate to pull over. I got out of my car and started walking toward her.

"Need a hand?" I called out. I instantly cringed when she jumped. "It's just me, Y/N."

"Sorry," she stuttered.

"It's okay," I tried to say lightly. "So, you need any help?"

"This stupid thing won't start," she grumbled. "And I have no idea why. Eddie usually. . ."

My heart sank when she stopped talking. One look at her and I could see the tears building.

"He usually handled the car," she forced herself to continue as she cleared her throat.

"I could take a look," I shrugged. She looked up at me, her eyes softening.

"Really?"

"Of course."

I walked over to the front of her car and examined the engine. The longer I stared at it, the more Y/N giggled. She was laughing at me, but I didn't care. At least she was laughing.

"You don't know anything about cars, do you, Steve?" 

"That obvious?" I chuckled as I turned toward her.

"Little bit," she said, showing me how much with her fingers. She cleared her throat and wrapped her arms around herself.

"I could still help," I said quickly.

"How?" Y/N asked, her voice softening.

"I could give you a ride," I offered.

"Steve. . ."

"I don't mind," I said quickly. "I can take you home or wherever you were on your way to."

"You don't have to," she said quickly. 

"I don't mind," I tried again.

"I can call my uncle."

"Come on, Y/N. Let me help you."

She looked up at me and held my gaze. "Are you sure?" She asked, her voice soft.

"Of course," I shrugged. I held my hand out, not entirely expecting her to take it. When she did, my heart jumped into my throat. Ignoring the circus in my stomach, I led her over to my car. She smiled as I opened the door and held it for her.

"Thanks," she said as she got in. I took a shaky breath as I walked around and got in the driver's seat. I started driving to the trailer park, my nerves jumping all over the place.

"So," I cleared my throat, "how have you been doing?"

"Fine," she shrugged, looking out the window.

"Are you. . ."

"Please don't, Steve," she cut me off. She looked over at me and I could see the tears building.

I nodded before turning my attention back to the road. We went through the rest of the drive in silence. I wanted to talk to her but I wasn't sure how to start a conversation with her. Before I would've liked, we pulled in front of her uncle's trailer.

"Thanks for driving me, Steve," she said softly.

"Y/N, wait," I said as I grabbed her hand before she could get out of my car. When she looked at me, I forgot what I was going to say.

"Steve," she said softly when I didn't continue.

"I just wanted to say," I said slowly, "if you ever need anything, the group and I are here for you."

"Thanks," she said, clearing her throat. She started to get out but realized that I was still holding her hand.

"There's something else," I forced myself to say. I looked into her eyes and gathered all the courage I could before saying, "I'm sorry about Eddie."

She turned away from me but right before she did, I could see the tears building. With the hand I wasn't holding, she covered her mouth. My heart sank when I realized she was hiding her tears.

"Y/N," I whispered. I pulled on her hand and she let me bring her into my chest. As I wrapped my arms around her, she sobbed into my chest.

"I wish we could've done something," I whispered. I pulled out of our embrace and held her shoulders as I looked deeply into her eyes. "I wasn't able to keep your brother safe, but that doesn't mean I can't keep you safe."

"Steve," she said under her breath.

"I promise, Y/N, I will always be here for you," I said. "If you ever need anything, and I mean anything, all you have to do is call me. Day or night."

"Day or night?" She teased. "That's a little creepy, Steve."

"I didn't mean it like that," I stuttered. "I just meant that if you needed me, I'd. . ."

Y/N cut me off by leaning over and pressing her lips to mine. I didn't hesitate to deepen the kiss. I gently grabbed her face as our lips moved against each other. When we were both out of breath, we broke the kiss and leaned our foreheads against each other.

"You know," she whispered, "there is something you could do for me."

"Anything," I said instantly.

"I'm starving," she started. I smiled when she didn't continue.

"Y/N," I said softly. "Can I take you to dinner?"

I smirked as I leaned in and kissed her again. I felt her smile as our lips moved in sync. I broke the kiss and pressed my nose to hers.

"If it's not too much trouble," she whispered.

"Not at all."

[honey-milk-depresso]

Alright so I really like your writing and I was wondering if I could request smt ?? Can I request some fluff With Malleus , Floyd and Azul from Twisted Wonderland with a (S/O) who is more on the chubby side and gets easily flustered about it .

Hey, so I've been really busy with schoolwork recently and so I'm not around on Tumblr so often anymore. Sorry for any troubles!

**TW: Mentions of the chest- cuz- titty soft and warm let's be real (not explicit), A bit of insecurity (but trust me your loved, by me also <3)

TWST Chubby s/o who gets easily flustered about it

Azul Ashengrotto

He has the same experience when he was younger: he was a chubby octopus when he was much younger, Azul was a lot shyer about it. Maybe because he was insecure? He can't remember, but he does feel some sympathy towards you.

Azul adores you, and he thinks you're just, well, cute. Body type doesn't really matter to him, so long as he knows you're taking care of your health is already the best.

Your darling octopus loves to just bury his face into your stomach or chest, and just sigh in satisfaction. You just provide him a warm and soft comfort after a long day, and the security and love he needs.

He hides his amusement whenever he does this, you're blushing and stuttering never cease to be endearing to him.

If you're ever insecure about being chubby, he's always there for you, and he feels disheartened to hear you feel such about your body when he feels you're beautiful, adorable and just... perfect.

"My dear pearl... I love you for who you are, and you're perfect the way you are." <3

Floyd Leech

For Floyd, he feels like he's hit jackpot. Aren't you the most adorable shrimpy there is~

Floyd loves your body; it's soft to lay his head on and you're his personal warm cuddly shrimp he wants to affectionately hug all the time when he's tired, in a bad mood or just out of randomness because he loves that feeling.

Personally for Floyd, he loves that you're chubby. It makes you adorable to him and he loves that you're very easy to fluster whenever he lies on your chest.

He loves squishing and pinching your cheeks lightly since they're just so soft. Sometimes he lightly pinches your stomach from behind to surprise you and no matter how many times you whine about it, he'll do it anyways (unless you really don't like it).

Floyd doesn't get it whenever you feel insecure about your body. Not that he's indifferent, but to him, he thought that your chubbiness should be something you're proud of. He loves it, so why don't you?

"Shrimpy, I think you're alright, so don't be so sulky about it. You're the cutest shrimpy no matter what hehe~" <3 and he cuddles you more-

Malleus Draconia

He finds you rather charming, a loveable child of man. Like Azul, Malleus doesn't care what type of body you have. So long as you're taking care of yourself, he's happy.

Besides, he finds your chubbiness adorable. Malleus, like the two other Octavinelle boys mentioned, likes to lay his head on your chest. All for the same reason: titty warm and soft because he feels secure and peaceful this way.

The dragon fae smiles fondly whenever he surprises you by randomly lying on your chest, his horns in a way encages your neck closer to him. He finds it endearing when you blush. It makes you even more cute than you already are~

He doesn't understand when you feel insecure about your body. He frowns with a pout after hearing about how you feel that people judge you for it, or that you wish you were thinner. Malleus already loves you for who you are, and he doesn't care what you look like. You're his source of happiness and he could never imagine life without you.

Besides, he thinks your chubbiness is the highlight about you. He loves it. Seriously.

"Child of man, your appearance is only a mere fraction of what truly makes you beautiful. Lilia told me before that true beauty lies in the heart, and I've come to understand it when I met you. Your "chubbiness" is something I love about you, don't you know? Regardless, you're the most beautiful person in the land, Child of man." <3

Reblogs help! ^^

[salternateunreality2]

Kunsel says:

We should maybe have a stricter definition of what counts as "hacking", okay?

It was a slow day at work, and he decided to guess people's email passwords in 10 attempts.

How does it go?

YESSSSSSSSS

Pro tips: make your password long, that is the most important factor. Use a password manager, most of them have a free option. Adding complexity does help, but focus on length first. Size does matter here. Multi-factor authentication (MFA) also helps a lot.

---------

Kunsel: Zack, gimme your password!

Zack: ...

Kunsel: Come on man, I need it for something!

Zack: 😭😭😭 buddy I would, but I forgot it again 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Kunsel: Ok man, it's ok, let's look around your desk...here, under this pile of chip bags, I think i saw...yeah, here's the penguin toy...and yep, Password Penguin has "Zack'ss00p3rp4ssw0rd!" written on the bottom. Let's try it!

(it works)

Zack: THANK YOU KUNSEL I THOUGHT I'D LOST HIM AND I COULDN'T REMEMBER AND-

Kunsel: *wheeze* Zack let go, I need to breathe *wheeze*

-----------

Kunsel tries to guess Roche's by typing it in.

M0t0rcycle!

ShinyDancer

Sh1n33D4nc3r!

He's in.

------------

Kunsel tries to guess Sephiroth's. On the 9th try, he gets it: Seph+Jenova4ever

Horrible things are uncovered along the way and now he needs to send Sephiroth some information very discreetly.

------------

Lazard. Kunsel knows better. He gives a few guesses, but decides to actually hack this.

He sets up a hash capturing tool over the internal network and waits for Lazard to log on. He does. Kunsel captures the hash and starts cracking it.

Three days later, the hash cracker has not worked and he has to give up on that.

Kunsel: Sir, I need to get into your email, will you please send me your password?

Lazard: Of course not, that is unsafe and against company policy. However, you're welcome to come to my office to perform any actions we both deem necessary.

Kunsel goes over and Lazard is using multifactor authentication, so just having the hash cracked wouldn't have worked anyway. He sets up a keylogger surreptitiously on Lazard's workstation while "performing updates" and showing Lazard new features in his email.

The things he captures with that keylogger:

* Numerous emails covering for boneheaded shit the SOLDIERs did.

* The letter "A" typed about a thousand times into a text file labeled "definitely not screams.txt".

* Moogle searches for "how to convince your employees to get therapy", "pasta recipes", "therapists near me", "child psychology for adults", "play therapy for adults", "cat psychology", and "shrimp pasta recipes".

* The password: &oh'ihiy_-8_gi"it"gi_ipkb0(-ur#3-@--LXS4ever--9(9;0(!08(098+pihjboigig(@ukopih

Then it is a simple matter of finding a zero-day race condition hack in the MFA software, timing things just right, and entering the password and hacked MFA key at the perfect moment.

Kunsel of course has pity on the man after seeing even more emails such as...

* Explaining to Roche that doing squats over his motorcycle makes it look like he's humping it, and it is making people uncomfortable.

* Asking Genesis to please not actually firaga the recruits this week, they don't need a lawsuit. No, it's not character building. No, even though it was part of his home training and Shinra sanctioned training a few years ago.

* Inviting Sephiroth over for shrimp pasta to discuss strategy.

* Asking Angeal to seek therapy so the others will follow his lead.

* Telling Zack that he could not have a therapy flamingo in the office. Even if it was a lawn ornament.

* Warning Hojo not to take Sephiroth this week.

* Warning Hollander not to take Genesis and Angeal this week.

* Reaming Heidegger out very politely for all his BS.

Kunsel logs out without doing anything. Lazard needs a break.

--------

Kunsel calls Angeal pretending to be the help desk. Angeal, a bit embarrassed over his upbringing and unsure because he feels unused to technology, eventually gives Kunsel the password: BanoraBoys123!

----------

Genesis' is guessed on the 7th try because Kunsel didn't want to bother typing in an entire stanza of Loveless with numbers instead of vowels.

1nf1n1t3_1n_myst3ry_1s_th3_g1ft_0f_th3_g0dd3ss__w3_s33k_1t_th7s_4nd_t4k3_t0_th3_sky_r1ppl3s...

He sends an email from Genesis inviting everyone to a Loveless recital on Tuesday. It backfires because several people, including Genesis, show up and have a great time.

-----------

Kunsel tries Zack's little trooper friend next. He's a tough nut to crack. He won't pick up his PHS to get vished, won't click on Kunsel's phishing emails, and won't tell Zack or Kunsel his password.

Kunsel captures his hash and cracks it. It takes a full 24 hours, but he gets it in the end:

!1986fuck_this_shit

[plantdad-dante]

Book #132 - Hogfather by Terry Pratchett

(I hope 14 year old me is aware that doing that book presentation was not a mistake, you just wanted to tell your peers about the weird christmas book that you love and it's okay if it didn't go well, you still stood up for the thing you enjoyed and that's really heartwarming and nice, actually, and you were right, okay, you were right in loving it!!!)

I'm back. I'm crying. I'm feeling shrimp emotions. Hi.

Banjo lives. He gets to live without being used or abused or manipulated. The match girl lives. She gets to have a future (an immediate future of "grub at the Watch house", but a future nonetheless). That little girl from The Maul gets a sickass sword and is presumably very happy with it. The Beggars get some fancy food that may have actual nutritional value. Hex gets a teddybear. Gawain gets to play marbles with the glass eye of a serial killer. A happy Hogswatch night for everyone.

... except for the other criminals who got murdered by the Tooth Fairy's nightmare tower. Yeah, okay. (which, their story is mostly "horrible criminals are reverting back to children in the face of horror, haha", but jesus, their childhoods are dark. everytime the Lilywhite brothers bring up their mum's funeral, they're like "we saw her be burried" and someone will think "I bet you watched it closely", and like. hng. they needed to make sure that their mother, their teacher, their abuser, was definitely 100% dead and gone and well deep beneath the earth. I'm Normal about this.)

Also, listen, I, too, love "Humans need fantasy to be human", but I feel we need to put it back into its full context more often. The context of "Old gods do new jobs" (in general, just... the Hogfather being an old Solstice god); "The sun would not have risen [...] a mere ball of flaming gas would have illuminated the world"; "and yet you think that a bed is a normal thing"; "you need to believe in things that aren't true. how else can they become". Also, Susan, early on, yells at Death that Hogswatch is a time for "humans to be human", and I love echos like this.

Gods, I could quote this book for ages.

E.g.: When Susan visits Violet's flat, the narration describes how horrendous the thing is, just from a renting perspective alone, and notes "It was amazing how many people spent their whole lives in places where they never intended to stay". Which.... definitely hasn't gotten more relatable since the 90s. Definitely. Not....

Anyway, to wind this up - the most important thing about this book, the thing that made me cry like a helpless child, is the following realization I had: Very close to the end, Susan asks Death why he did it (save Hogswatch), and he pauses, then answers "I think it's something to do with harvests" ... which is a nonsensical thing to say in the context of this book alone, BUT. But. What is the quote from Reaper Man that has rearranged my brain matter for all future time?

"What can the harvest hope for, if not the care of the reaper man?"

Like, he took that to heart. All the way. And I recall all those little moments in the book where he is happy, positively giddy, that he can give people joy. People are happy to see him! They say Thank You! And they leave again, alive! He practically jumps at the chance to save the match girl. He did it all because he cares, because he has to care, because he is Death, and if Death doesn't care, then there might as well be nothing there at all, and what then? There need to be humans to need to care about, who need fantasy to be human, and so he is going to save fantasy, he is going to save the Hogfather.

Listen. I'm a jaded-ass motherfucker who could not give less of a shit about Christmas, but this book. This book gets it? And I... I just... Yeah. Happy Hogswatch.

[panelshowsource]

alex talked about that recently in this interview! [rubs hands together like a mischievous little shrimp] i hope we see it one day heh

hehehe it was a fun task! we've NEVER seen alex play such a character during a task like that — he's received cuddles and made demands and eaten meals, but this was next level Alex Acting — so that was really fun!

lucy talking incessantly about alex's legs but mans also got his long sparkly toes

i think people are too quick to call this or that iconic, but ngl the second i saw this final image...it's practically a horror movie poster...PERFECT

can you imagine greg davies being your drama teacher and then he quits to become a comedian and the next day you see him on tv as Massive Greg hand feeding a man with no teeth who is pretending to be a tortoise

honestly if that's the one that haunts you i'd say you got off pretty easy, i scrub my eyes with concrete mix every night to try and forget ass sandwich and yet... but hey at least when he hurt his hand he finally had an excuse for that stupid bandage he wears hahaha

she was being so sincere and he was Such A Little Shit 😭

you know what i was binging some simon stuff as well, since it was his birthday, and ran across this again after all these years!

aw anon i'm so glad ♡

moooost of my fave episodes are like ~2005–2015ish? probably the nostalgia!

21.01 with jess hynes bc she is an icon to me

21.05 love seeing simon and miquita together

21.07 with martin freeman

22.02 with stephen fucking fry YES

22.04 was crazy like conchords-era rhys darby was there (i LOVED flight of the conchords lmao) and then johnny vegas and danny dyer next to each other? what a lineup

22.12 with josh groban, omid, martin freeman, heston is an ALL-TIME CLASSIC

i LOVE the guest-hosted episodes with martin freeman, rhod gilbert, frankie boyle (especially 24.12 with miles jupp and professor green), jack dee, alex horne, kathy burke, and johnny vegas

23.12 doctor who special HANDS DOWN

24.02 it's hilarious how respectable catherine tate is offset by how ridiculous catherine tate is

25.06 when greg hosted with frankie boyle, h was there just being h, holly walsh angel, it was a riot

john barrowman is also extremely iconic on buzzcocks, probably most so on 19.05 but also when he hosted 25.12

there are tons of older episodes from the lamarr era that i love — bob mortimer is so funny on this series especially on sean's team, 12.05 when jimmy and claudia were with phill, fun to see ian dury on 5.01, and so on — but these above are some of my personal all-time faves!

aw i really appreciate the rec! first i would like to say i looked it up on youtube and stumbled across the american version and holy shit the dude who hosted brainsurge on nickelodeon is hosting that and WOW my brain would have died never having remembered he existed if i hadn't seen him just now — so that was very weird. ANYWAYS i'll check it out!

imo it didn't start with ben miller...rob is always like this... sometimes when the pod episodes are shorter (less than 10min? does he do that anymore), you can tell some of the bullshit is edited around, but now that they're longer-form conversations he is dominating every episode. i'm certainly no rob hater, but it's really unsurprising to me because facts are facts — rob is self-involved, extremely concerned about being seen and being heard, incredibly pouty if not outrightly bitter when he's not recognised, when fame/success doesn't chase him, when he's getting less from life than he believes he deserves. there are aspects of rob in the trip that aren't far from reality, if you see what i mean. rob is, honestly, quite showbiz. don't get me wrong, he's funny, affable, talented, we love him! but he's not a stellar podcast host because he doesn't have the attention span to let someone else have a moment. have a story. put something on the table. there are definitely times i give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he's trying to form a connection by sharing a related experience/feeling/whatever, but other times he's just being self-involved, pivoting the convo, and it is what it is. it's too bad when we don't always get lengthy, insightful content for someone we love — like miles, let's say — and when we finally do rob isn't doing his part; i felt that way about the dara episode. i don't think rob means any malice, it's just how he is...+ a dash of being a middle-aged white man in showbiz...

i got this one yesterday...

...and i'm going to dedicate it to you<3

and frankly sign me up for the woz/vcm experience i am happy to be a little tomato in that flapjack sandwich

you guys are really sweet, it makes me smile ♡ i don't know why some days the trolling can really get to you and other days you forget it in a couple blinks... i feel like i've been having some bad days. last week i saw something on my own dash with thousands of notes outright mocking me and i haven't really recovered from the uncomfortableness/just general hurt feelings. i want be better about letting those things go, but i also think a holiday break will do me good. anyways, thank you for always enjoying the blog and taking the time to be so kind ♡

—————

WATCH LINKS MASTERPOST / FAQ / TAGS / ASK

[hurricane-heatt]

he’s good for my heart but he’s very bad for business…

“It’s not for lack of want, Seb, and get off my tie.”

Seb lets the black tie drop despondently back to the white of Mark’s shirt. He’s sure his mouth is wine stained but he’s fine, he can see clearly - he knows what he wants, and what he wants is his six foot something driver in front of him, who’s growing more irritated every minute that passes.

No, he’s not done. He wants him against a wall or on a couch or fucking anywhere, in the damned elevator at this point. Drunk Sebastian wants to climb Webber like a tree. Tipsy, he’s tipsy. Anyway. Fuck professional boundaries.

“It’s about morals.” Seb huffs a laugh at this, putting a hand on Mark’s bicep. He squeezes once, because the muscle is there and Mark lets him.

“Morals, is that it?”

God, doesn’t this elevator take forever?

“Was it morals you were questioning that night in Venice? Or was that something else?”

The lift might not stop moving but Webber’s chest does, the steady rise and fall stuttering as he swallows. His eyes flit away from Sebastian’s face to straight ahead. “I’ll tell you again, then. You’re my boss and my responsibility. It’s fucked up to even- to entertain this.”

“But those aren’t morals, those are facts.”

“What, even that last part?” Mark is audibly exasperated, visually so when he puts a hand to his face, wiping his brow. He looks to the ceiling as though God will speak to him through the metal container. He won’t.

Seb shrugs. “Yeah, even the last part. We both know what we’re doing.” He grins, all teeth like a hungry shark. Mark is shrimp. This is how it goes.

“What we’re entertaining.”

“You are so, incredibly-.”

Webber doesn’t finish his sentence. They breathe in unison until the speakers ding to say they’ve arrived at their floor. It’s a penthouse suite in the city, one of Sebastian’s favourites for the summer, and Mark’s walking behind him, as always, holding the keycard in his hand, keeping a keen eye on the surroundings. Sebastian’s still a wanted man. He’s still a near victim of assassination.

Not that he even cares right now. All Seb hopes is that his ass looks good in his slacks, before he spins and presses his back against the door, covering the place where the keycard needs to reach.

“Sebastian.”

“Won’t you ever say my name differently?”

“And how do I say it?”

“Like you’re sick of me.”

Mark looks up again. God doesn’t listen or tell him anything. “Isn’t that suggesting something, then?” Too cool off, to chill out. Take a step back.

“You couldn’t be sick of me.” Sebastian blinks upward, ignoring sirens. There’s a moment where the air is far too hot between them, where Mark could, if he so wanted, lean down to kiss him against the door. Seb wants it so much, enough wanting for the both of them, for Mark to give up the pretence he keeps claiming. To give in to Sebastian’s wiles, Webber would call them.

It’s just harmless flirting. Wine drunk. “Let me open the door and get you to bed. You’re drunk and you’re-“

“Open the door then, Webber.”

Professional names spoken aloud, unprofessionally and with glee. Sebastian shifts himself over the door handle further again. It’s a bit uncomfortable against his tailbone but he leans against it nonetheless. Mark doesn’t smile, doesn’t even flinch. He’s got really good at this, which is entirely the opposite of what Seb wants, no, needs.

So Sebastian cranes his neck just an inch, upwards to meet Mark’s glare.

“Mark,” he croons. “Open it.”

There’s a moment where Sebastian thinks he’s taken this too far. That it’s pushed him too far over, into the no-go-forever zone. That Webber’s got a resignation note in his back pocket for the morning.

The fear is aptly broken by Mark’s left hand on his waist, fingers curling to his back, thumb digging in just slightly. It’s not enough to cause pain, and Sebastian begins to laugh, hiding the way his heart jumps at the touch.

“Is that all you’ve-“

Webber shunts him, suddenly, to the side, and holds him firm on the shoulder with his free hand. Sebastian yelps, either from the push or the grab. Maybe both.

In one swift motion, the door beeps with the key card, and Sebastian stumbles back as Mark lets go all of a sudden. Stumbles back, and lands square on his ass.

“Ow. There’s gentler ways to move me.” Mark reaches out a hand, and pulls Sebastian up to his feet. He sighs when they’re face to face again. “You don’t make me gentle.”

“Hah-“ Sebastian brushes himself off, walking to the kitchen island sink to pour himself a glass of water. It’s cool, refreshing to his alcohol sunken throat. He could drink fountains, but Webber is watching, as usual. Waiting to be over and done with him.

“-then what do I make you?” There’s a look that crosses Mark’s face, then, some half mixed cocktail of confusion and clarity.

“Powerless.”

[vofart]

this is going zto be long

Ok hear me out they both pull each other out of the water (metaphor for the darkness) and then they sorta stick together, a little pining but also a lot of pirate nonsense. this is before they start working together and how they met

Most of this changes what i said in the first hash out but what ever also I suck ss at spelling I font give a shit

So! Arahabaki is a very cruel deep sea god and the other sea gods don’t really like them so they curse him (gods have to team up to curse eachother rare but happens) 

Curses arahabaki to ‘live on the surface in mortal form’ 

Being a tricky god Arahabaki finds a loop hole or two so they don’t lose all their godly powers. 

Chuuya (10yrs old) is the mortal form that Arahabaki chooses (a little at random) as a young child. 

The ‘entrance’ of Arahabaki just so happens to be in the middle of a navy fleet/port absolutely destroying everything and leads to an influx of pirates (especially younger). 

The Sheep is a sailing vessel with a bunch of kids on it. 

They find Chuuya in a port town and take him in. (11yrs old)

 Chuuyas a natural, navigation and fighting come naturally to him and he sorta becomes their captain but not by choice. (17 yrs old). 

Chuuya has managed to avoid falling into the water up until this point. 

But during a navy altercation the ship get damaged enough that they have to jump in. 

Arahabaki’s godly form is triggered when he is fully submerged 

 in this giant (300ft tall) form Chuuya knows he’s Chuuya and Arahabaki (at the same time) and after all these years Arahabaki has been like idk weakened so Chuuya has some control 

Arahabaki’s voice sorta goads him on and makes him a little feral. (Chuuya has so little impulse control)

Arahabaki’s voice gets stronger when Chuuya is mad and right after shrinking back down

Anyways Dazai is on a navy ship (why? not sure) 

 sees Chuuya ruining ship after ship and although he’s immortal he really doesn’t like pain so he’s like shit gotta stop this raging god. 

he tries to calm Chuuya down and succeeds, not sure how but it involves yelling. 

Chuuya shrinks back down to normal chibi size and Dazai fishes him out of the water and takes care of him (Chuuyas not in great shape) 

he sleeps for a few days and Dazai desapears after Chuuya wakes up leaving him in the hands of the navy. 

The navy is not sure what to do with Chuuya so they (try) turn him into a reputable sailor 

after about three yrs (20yrs old) Chuuya gets so fed up he blows up a navy vessel and returns to the life of a pirate.

 He doesn’t settle on a ship because he doesn’t mix with others very well and after a close call with Arahabaki he decides to make port for a while. (22yrs old) 

after only a few months in port Chuuya meets Dazai again. 

 lounging on the docks as the tide goes out

 everything is fine until he hears gasping cussing and choking from under the peer.

 He checks it out only to find Dazai Hog tied to the pyling. 

Chuuya (very  carefully keeping his body mostly out of the water) jumps in and cuts the ties and brings him up 

He has been down there for a while Dazai says at least a week and Chuuya is like this guys fucking nuts should i toss him bback in.

 He looks horrible and i mean like worse than a corpse. His pale and pruney and just kinda half eaten (literal bites outa the man) and 

he just looks at Chuuya and coughs up so much water, and goes oh look it’s the shrimp. 

Chuuyas all like we are the same age, i think(hes looking a little rough okay) and Dazai is all like no we are not. 

Theeen he conks out muttering something about shipwrecks and how much better crabs are than shrimp. 

Chuuyas just kinda sits there (his instinct to protect doesn’t let him leave) 

the sun starts to set and Dazai wakes up and just whines about how he wishes he could die. 

And Chuuyas like you should have you would have been down there at least since this morning. I told you shrimp it’s been at least a week. 

He talks about how he’s immortal 

Somehow they stick together (Dazai does recognize Chuuya)

I think Chuuya craves life on the waves

Sooner rather then later Chuuya places Dazai in his memory

They spend a couple years jumping from ship to ship until they finally just steal themselves one

They start a crew and pick people all over the place

Some members never leave and others cycle like dishwater 

Possible other crew members (total 9)

Gin (Auku is on land in this) cook dead quiet and great with knives

Hirotsu bc I love him 

Higuchi kitchen help

Tachihara alternate gun man

Kyouka intusted to Chuuya by Kouyou 

OC?(s) I need to fill out some rolls 

Armed Bar and General Services

Fukuzawa

Kunikida

Yasano 

Kenji 

Jenichiro siblings

Other

Kouyou is a sea witch

Ranpo just really likes Fukuzawas bar

Poe a Navy cartographer kisses^

Atsushi was on Double Black for a while but left to chase his own horizon

Akutagawa has his own ship

[honeybadgercomeback]

Secrets | dr3

Summary: It’s just after FP2 at Monaco 2022, and all you want to do is check on your boyfriend. But work comes first, and that night you tell him just what he means to you.

AN: So this is the first F1 anything I’ve ever done? And I’m ridiculously nervous publishing it, but ANYWAY. Here goes.

Warnings: basically pure fluff.

—

None of this was supposed to happen. None of it. You weren’t supposed to be dating a F1 driver, especially one who didn’t even drive for your team. But now you were stuck listening to Max’s radio, trying to hear anything at all from him while the tvs around the garage were playing Sky. You couldn’t look distracted, you had to be on your A game while FP2 was going on.

“Is he ok?” You heard Max ask as he drove past Daniel’s orange car, the way he’d spun into the barriers even making your head spin.

“He’s out and fine. Keep pushing.”.

But finally the practice was over and you’d filled your camera roll with behind the scenes photos of everyone hard at work, preparing for an evening of editing and scheduling uploads. Whoever said social media and PR was easy was a liar.

“Hey, did you see?” Max came up to you, but you just nodded to stop him from speaking. Nobody apart from him knew that you and Daniel were in a relationship, that you’d started seeing each other in the winter break. It had been an accident that he’d found out, really, catching sight of the two of you at the airport in Nice saying goodbye. But since then he’d checked in on you, made sure you knew you could ask him about things and he’d help where he could.

“I saw. Later, yeah?”

“Sure.” You kept busy, finishing up as others were beginning to leave the garage and fill the streets of Monte Carlo looking for food and fun. But instead you threw on a non Red Bull branded hoodie and mixed with the crowds, determined to get to one location in particular.

There were no texts from Daniel as you walked, checking and double checking your phone every few moments. It was the rule you had on race weekends, no texts while either of you could be working. Which generally meant from Friday to Sunday you only spoke late at night or very early in the morning. But at last you’d made it to his apartment building, slipping in with the key you’d been given and waving at security. They’d grown to know you as you’d visited nearly every weekend there wasn’t a race, racking up the frequent flier miles but you wouldn’t change it for the world. Finally you were outside the door, your key slipping into the lock and twisting for you.

“Dan?” You called, the entryway mostly in darkness. You dropped your keys on the table, entering the kitchen to find him sitting there with a sandwich in front of him.

“Hey, you,” you said, his head jerking up with a small smile.

“Hey. Sorry, I didn’t think about you coming over.”

“It’s fine. I can go back to my hotel…”

“No, no.” He stood and pulled you into a hug, arms wrapped tightly around you as he pushed a kiss to your head. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“Me too.” 

It was a relaxed evening or as relaxed as you could be. Daniel cooked for the two of you while you prepped for FP3 and qualifying, getting the beginnings of a social media strategy together. Most things stayed the same for each race weekend, but you wanted to have everything possible ready to go. Live race stuff was awkward enough, having readymade graphics saved you time.

“Dinner’s served.” Dan handed you a bowl of shrimp pasta, pulling you into his side to eat as he settled. It was easy to push your laptop away as you curled in, relishing his warmth around you.

“You are amazing.”

“Nah, you.”

It was the compliment you always gave each other, stemming from the first time you’d met. He and Max were talking about something, you’d interrupted with a “Sorry, Max, I need you”, and Max had nodded and left. Dan had called the compliment after you as you led the younger man through the sea of people, and it had stuck.

It was when you’d both eaten and were just sitting in silence that you looked up at him, pushing a kiss against his stubbly jaw.

“I was worried about you.” You had never admitted that before, never said just how much you tended to worry about him when he was working. He was a good driver, he tried to be safe, but he was going at high speed and you would always worry.

“I’m gonna be fine. Just fine. They weren’t worried about me, just the car. I got asked how the car was before they asked how I was.” His voice was bitter and you just wanted to wipe it away, to let him know how much you loved him.

“The first thing Max did when he found out was ask if you were ok. I know others did too. Just because they didn’t care about you doesn’t mean the rest of us don’t. You know that?” It was quiet, just the noise of your breathing filling the room as you stared at him.

“I just…there’s already questions about if I want next year. It’s such bullshit. I do! But I keep getting asked and I can’t get it to go how I want it and I hate it and I hate that I can’t…” He trailed off angrily, the self doubt pouring from his veins. Instead you sat up fully, straddling his lap and holding his head to look into those chocolate brown eyes properly.

“You are a good driver. You’re going to make this work. I’ve got so much faith in you, Daniel Ricciardo. So, so much faith.” You took a deep breath, making sure you were as clear as you could be. “I love you, and I believe in you.”

The grin that he had could have lit the world as he stared back to you, hands on your hips as he leaned in for a kiss. 

“I love you too.”

Leaving his apartment that night was the last thing you wanted, but if you didn’t show up at the hotel you’d be in trouble. Instead it was a short walk through raucous streets, the glitz and glamour of the Uber wealthy clearly on display. It was a race weekend and you just wanted to get ready for the next few days.

It was a weekend of mixed emotions. Seeing Danny gain a place from when he started was exhilarating, but he wasn’t happy still outside the points. Checo and Max were both on the podium, champagne flying everywhere as you took photos and grinned, a can of Red Bull in your hand as you gave and received hugs to everyone. These were the moments you lived for, being on top of everything and seeing how well the team worked together. You’d never in your wildest dreams imagined that you would end up working in Formula One, but now you were there you didn’t want anything different.

Your phone buzzed as you were taking photos, two texts from your boyfriend. You opened them with a smile, your expression even wider at them.

You look gorgeous

The second was a photo of you grinning, your hair half soaked with some form of liquid as you raised your face to the sky, patchy sun beginning to illuminate what had just a couple of hours ago been a rain soaked mess. He’d obviously taken them from the McLaren garage, somehow getting away with taking the photo and not getting caught. 

Speak for yourself.

I do, and you do. See you tonight?

Realistically you should have been at the hotel, packing and getting ready for the bus to bring you to Nice for your flight home the following day. But it was a gap in the schedule the following week, and really all you wanted was to curl up in Danny’s arms for a while.

I mean, how can I say no?

You finished setting up a posting schedule for the rest of the day, making sure Instagram and TikTok were well taken care of. But once that was done Horner told everyone to go and enjoy their evenings. A couple of people asked you to get a drink or hang out, but you waved away excuses, instead determined to go to the one person you needed to see.

[wulfums]

What are Whatwulf’s thoughts on Charlie!! I think you mentioned they hang out sometimes? What’s that like?

(Anyone can send me other Smiling Friends characters to talk abt Whatwulf w. teehee)

Yeah, they're friends! They knew each other before Whatwulf knew Allan, but after Whatwulf was besties w Mr Boss, timeline wise

(The order he knew people was Grim + Gnarly(College) -> Mr Boss -> Glep and Marge -> Charlie -> Allan -> Pim )

Whatwulf and Charlie met like, half a year before Whatwulf started dating Allan. They met at the bar at Spaghetti Disco- they were forced to sit next to each other due to it being very busy there.

Whatwulf struck up a convo with Charlie about the place and how expensive it is. Here is how that went

Charlie: "Oh my god RIGHT? Like, what do you mean a mixed drink is $20?"

Whatwulf: "RIGHT!!! And I think they reheat their spaghetti, personally. Spaghetti is supposed to be cheap not $30!"

Charlie: "And they don't even give you breadsticks like Olive Garden- at least for their prices they give you the breadsticks. This place doesn't even do that. Man I wish they had breadsticks."

Whatwulf: Honestly, I only started coming here to eat after the old Salty's closed.

Both of them at once: I used to go there all the time as a homonculus/pup

So they bond over talking about the nostalgia of the old outdoor Salty's playground and the amount of times they both got injured there, and it kind of goes from there! They start hanging out weekly. Charlie never mentions where he works or who he works with the whole time and Whatwulf finds out by chance when he makes a delivery to the office- Whatwulf is excited to find out Glep works there too.

Next time Charlie and Whatwulf hang out, it's at Whatwulf's place. Charlie was like "I mean we could have hung out at my place but, you know, the centipedes." and would not elaborate further.

Whatwulf loves to ask questions about Charlie's work. At this point in the timeline it would have been a day or two past Shrimp's Odyssey.

They start watching some movies together that they're both nostalgic about and shoot the shit. Whatwulf ends up asking, "Hey, your coworker is hot. Do you know if he's single...?" And Charlie assumes Whatwulf is talking about Pim and is like ".....Im sorry are you talking about Pim?" While laughing a bit and Whatwulf is like "Uhh the red one. I don't really know his name." And Charlie is like "You know what? I have no idea. I actually don't even know what he DOES outside of work. I think he only likes girls though, sorry man." and Whatwulf is like "Yeah, I don't think Id pursue it anyways." and shrugs and they continue with their movie night.

Charlie is absolutey baffled to find out that Whatwulf and Mr Boss know each other well and call each other Bestie. He finds this out way before Whatwulf met Allan and Pim briefly on the delivery run. Whatwulf explains that they met at Pride years and years ago, and Charlie is like "Aw man, that's awesome. You know Meep City kinda sucks- but we do have a pretty good pride event."

Half a year later, When Allan says he's unsure if Whatwulf even LIKES men, Charlie is the one whose like "Are you fucking kidding me right now. I knew that before I even talked to him." and him and Glep are the ones who convince him to, you know, just talk to the guy. They both reassure him that Whatwulf is really chill, and Charlie is like "He's into you anyways." even though he prommyd to Whatwulf he wouldnt tell, but you know, its important this time.

After Allan and Whatwulf start dating, Charlie and Whatwulf keep up their Late Night Hangouts, though now Charlie is talking about his weird adventures with Pim more and more. This is after the Halloween episode but before Charlie Dies And Never Comes Back. Whatwulf was at the funeral he was just offscreen.

I think Charlie and Whatwulf start hanging out a bit less once Whatwulf moves in with Allan, but they try to hang out a couple times a month, even if it's shorter than before. But they still are good friends and stay good friends.

[catchyhuh]

What sort of hobbies or interests do you imagine the Gang having (outside thievery or arresting said thieves)? And do they influence the way they go about their usual antics, or are they mostly Unrelated to everything else in their lives? :0c

oohhooohoho this is a good one because i have a small handful of actual canonical hobbies/interests that come up occasionally and then i have the ones that solely exist in my mind palace. at least until tms decides to let a random little shrimp from america take the reins on their most longrunning successful franchise anyway,

lupin:

i can’t remember if i mentioned lupin loves puzzles. wait yes i did in the video game list SORRY I’M ALREADY HAVING TROUBLE REMEMBERING WHAT I HAVE AND HAVEN’T GONE OFF ABOUT but yes in canon lupin LOVES puzzles. less like, jigsaw puzzles, more like shapey puzzles. but hell man if you can get him to sit still long enough he might like a jigsaw one just to pass the time

i think he likes cooking. him, jigen and goemon all seem to really Get it. so count this under all of them, they just love yummy food and occasionally the process of making it too

he likes to draw :) somebody has to be behind all the slightly different variants of his little mascot guy. SOMEBODY has to redraw bank floor plans so they can plan out each tiny step of the heist. somebody has to scribble over his own wanted posters to put funny little devil horns on the image CMON now!!

jigen:

only jigen could be in a fucking arcade theater complex and pull out a fucking crossword puzzle. why is this dude honestly trying to speedrun being a grouchy old man before he even turns 40. i mean no hate, no hate to crossword puzzles, they are cool but i’m more of a wordsearch guy. BUT THERE’S OTHER STUFF TO DO JIGEN!! at least he’s not going for sudoku though

very random but i think he might like sewing in a passive sense. with how particular he is about his hat and really ANY clothes on his person, he probably just picked up a needle one day to fix a tear and then was like Huh. this isn't too bad actually. kinda repetitive and calming. and then the others found out and tried to get him to fix all their stuff too SO HALF PLEASANT AND HALF NOT SO PLEASANT

fujiko:

you may think i’m insane but fujiko must genuinely have some sort of fondness for computers and technology. more than she lets on at least, because. how DO you know how to fly every type of aircraft. how DO you know how to crack into almost any computer firewall? how do you know how to isolate a computer virus as it’s ALREADY corrupted HALF OF THE SYSTEM?? this goes beyond job necessity to me she must really have some hidden underlying passion for this stuff

i think it’d be cute if she took up some kinda journaling. i mean god knows she’s not writing about her FEELINGS in that little leather notebook, and she doesn’t really have the time to commit to like, scrapbook shit (even if she had the time, she’s not sentimental like that) but something simple like “this is a list of m&m variants in order of how disgusting to not disgusting they taste to me <3” with little candy stickers and gel pen hearts drawn in. the next page has a bloodstain on it and the only thing written is “dw about that lol”

goemon:

okay i KNOW i’ve pushed the Arts Enjoyer goe agenda before but i recently saw that part 3 production art again of him chilling with the pottery wheel so i must state, once again, goemon LOVES sculpting shit in all forms. chip away at some rock, throw zantetsuken at a block of wood, actually invest in some clay for fucking once, whatever he uses, he’ll make something pretty good. and even if it wasn’t good it’s still a fun hobby for him. keeps his hands loose but precise

oh my god you know what he would love. dominoes. you know when people make those like crazy long domino strings that form a pattern when they’ve all fallen. if anybody here could have the precision and strangely placed patience to do shit like that it’s definitely this guy

zenigata:

going through this list easily and eagerly typing up little funfacts about things i do know they like outside of their. “jobs” and then slowly realizing as i get to zenigata that i... cannot think of anything he. uh. does for fun. damn. he DOES talk about movies a lil bit from time to time, and knowing his mixture of a freakish eye for detail and also missing the most obvious things ever i bet hearing him talk about a movie is twice as fun as actually watching it. i would pay HUNDREDS to hear him try to explain what he thinks of space odyssey to me

it would be-- i have no reasoning for this but it would be so cute and hilarious if he did like. tiny magic tricks. you know? like card appearing out of thin air, coin behind your ear type shit. tiny stuff he figured out on his brief off time. we know lupin can do little stuff like that too but it'd just be hilarious if zenigata, completely unawarely and unintentionally for once, ended up being better than him at some inconsequential shit like making a pair of keys disappear

and i guess in light of recent discoveries they all like golf. apparently. well. no one is perfect

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Doctor Who, but Chronologically 27

JOYOUS NEWS!!! We are now seeing our first two-parter that is

A) Actually supposed to be a two-parter, and

B) Set in the same time period so we can watch them back to back like you're meant to.

It's just nice to have a bit of normalcy in this deeply stupid watch order.

Anyway: Family of Blood. We pick up where we left off. Tim, aka the boy with the fob watch from Love, Actually, opens it just slightly, which is distracting enough to the Family that Martha promptly punches Mother firmly in the solar plexus, steals her shrimp-shaped gun, and takes her hostage.

"You won't shoot!" says Son. "You're scared!"

"Yes, guns and fear are a famously winning combination, Mummy's Little Genius," says Martha, and tells the Doctor to get everyone else out.

He does not. Human Doctor is still a trembling useless wimp. Instead, Nurse Joan the Love Interest takes over, and herds everyone out.

... and then we get the first of many Very Upsetting Scenes in this episode, as the Doctor turns back to Martha, who is still holding the Family at gunpoint.

"What about you?" he asks.

And Martha visibly steels herself, doesn't look away, and says perfectly evenly, "Mr Smith, I think you need to get your lady friend to safety, don't you?"

And he leaves her.

... fuck me, this one has more emotional resonance than that time Amy got shot by her plastic fiance

ANYWAY

Martha is then menaced by a scarecrow and yet still manages to get away. To their credit, the Doctor an Joan are waiting for her outside, at least, and they all run back to the school where the Doctor gets all the school boys to unload the guns and get ready to fight in preparation for Very Upsetting Scene #2. But just before it, we get given an emotionally charged warmup that punches our hearts out the backs of our ribcages like Mortal Kombat characters, as my excellent friend Maia once put it, because as the Family gather outside with their scarecrow army, the headmaster goes out to talk to them.

It's such a good exchange and so incredibly acted and edited that I literally looked up the quote:

Headmaster: Well I warn you, the school is armed. Brother: All your little tin soldiers. But tell me sir, will they thank you? Headmaster: I don’t understand. Brother: What do you know of history, sir? What do you know of next year? Headmaster: You’re not making sense, man— Brother: 1914, sir. Because the Family has travelled far and wide looking for Mr. Smith, and oh the things we have seen. War is coming. In foreign fields, war of the whole wide world with all your boys falling down in the mud. Do you think they will thank the man who taught them it was glorious?

I literally cannot convey how well delivered both that "Tell me sir, will they thank you?" and that "Do you think they will thank the man who taught them it was glorious?" is. The little blond inbred lad who loves dragons on Game of Thrones. By god. Sweet christ does that boy deliver the hell out of those lines. My husband literally GASPED.

Meanwhile, we have what passes for a pallette cleanser in this episode - Martha is tearing the study apart looking for the watch, and Joan the nurse comes to speak to her. Martha tells her she's a doctor from the future.

"Don't be ridiculous," Joan says. "You can't be a doctor, you're a woman and black."

I mean I know I said Freema Agyeman is not... the BEST at acting. And I stand by it. But the LOOK she levels in this scene, my lord. Somehow, in spite of only saying the words "Oh, do you think?", she manages to convey the sentiment "Let me just disembowel this bitch real quick."

"Bones of the hand," Martha says, and lists them all.

"You read that in a book," says Joan.

"YES, TO PASS MY EXAMS" says Martha.

Anyway, it's enough to convince Joan that her new boyfriend is an amnesiac alien (we've all been there, sis), so she goes off to talk to the Doctor. She asks him to describe Nottingham; but he can't, other than facts. And he has the first hint of a breakdown. He does NOT want to be a Time Lord.

"But you know this is wrong," Joan says. "These are children, going to fight the Family. The Doctor wouldn't want it. Nor would John Smith."

Tim is setting up with Classic White Bully Hutchison. But he decides that he needs to do something else with the watch to help. "It's okay!" he tells Hutchison. "You and I will survive this! I've seen us in a WW1 trench in 1914!" and then runs off, as though that is remotely comforting.

Which sets us up nicely for Very Upsetting Scene #2. Outside, a truly unfeasibly large number of scarecrows has now amassed (when did the family make all these scarecrows??!?) The shooting begins, a hymn playing over the top as these weeping, sobbing children load bullets into machine guns and fight supernatural terrors...

And the Doctor, standing there with a loaded rifle, cannot bring himself to shoot a single shot.

Fucking. Harrowing.

Anyway then Daughter-of-Mine turns up and shoots the headmaster for not listening to black women or somethign IDK Martha told him to stay back, he told her to fuck off, the Daughter killed him. Seems fair. Freaks the Doctor out though so everyone retreats into the school, the Family in hot pursuit, and then it's Chaos for a bit until the Father turns up with the TARDIS.

And then we get Very Upsetting Scene #3, as the Doctor cries and begs to be allowed to stay human. A good man, with a good life, in love. This segues into Very Upsetting Scene #4, where Joan takes them to the house of the Daughter on the well-reasoned grounds that the real child who used to be the Daughter had parents who would have tried to stop their little girl from leaving, and been killed. The Doctor lashes out at Martha.

"You're his companion!" he rages. "What good are you, exactly? Why does he need you?"

It is SO fucking upsetting. Poor Martha.

Anyway then Tim turns up with the watch, so THAT becomes Very Upsetting Scene #5, as the Family start bombing the village i.e. St Ffagan's village square, and Martha is telling him to open the fucking watch, and the Doctor is now screaming and begging and pleading to be allowed to live because he doesn't want to go and become someone else. But Joan realises he has to - otherwise, the Family will consume a Time Lord, and then they'll live forever and destroy everything.

She tries to convince him. He says he wants to stay and love her, but knows he won't as the Doctor. And then they touch the watch together and so they both see the life they could have had together INCLUDING THE CHILDREN WHO NOW WON'T EXIST and fuck me we all need therapy forever. Who okayed this. Who allowed this on television. Why must David Tennant be so good at acting.

So it's a bit of a shame it's then all downhill from there tbh.

Obviously, he opens the watch, although it happens off screen, so in this watch order we have had THREE SEPARATE WATCH STORIES but still haven't seen one be opened. He blows up the Family's space ship, and then... well, it's a bit weird. Bit fairytale. He suspends each of them in time in some way so they'll be imprisoned for all eternity, including trapping the Daughter in mirrors... somehow, bit vague on the details. "He ran from us to be kind," the narration says dramatically. "To spare us the rage of a Time Lord" and whoa there Mary Sue, we're back on this bullshit.

A final scene with Joan, with upsetting exchanges like

"Could you change back?"

"Yes"

"Will you?"

"No"

It's another difficult scene, but then it ruins itself by doing the old "People here died because you came and that's your fault" thing, which is eternally boring and terrible and I wish successive showrunners would stop doing it. The Tortured Man Pain side of the Mary Sue. Fuck off.

Anyway, the Doctor and Martha hug it out back at the TARDIS, which is sweet. Tim turns up.

"I've seen the future," he declares. "And I know now what I must do."

You're very intense, Tim.

The Doctor gives him the old watch, and away they go. I hope they're off to an ice cream planet where twelve-fingered aliens give great massages. Martha needs some serious aftercare.

Flash forward. Tim and Hutchison are staggering through a WW1 trench. Tim realises it's the moment from the watch vision he saw, and makes them dive right out the way of a shell. He saves Hutchison. Then Hutchison says "I'm not going to make it."

"Oh yes you are," declares Tim. "Didn't I promise you, all those years ago?"

Tim. It was last year.

ANYWAY this episode was fucking harrowing. We've now seen what the fob watches can do! But no further plot threads I don't think, nor any resolved, so the list remains... extensive.

“She” (an unknown person) is returning (perhaps River returned as Missy. Maybe Me? Maybe Clara???!)

There is something on Donna’s back

An entire planet, Pyrovilia, just… disappeared, somehow. (Maybe because the TARDIS is exploding??? Saturnine was also lost, and that WAS because of the TARDIS exploding. The lion man’s planet was also lost but he was a bit of a knob about it if I’m honest.)

Amy is maybe dead (she’s not)

The Doctor has been cubed (he’s out, but how?)

River is possibly blown up  (unless she’s Missy)

The TARDIS has blown up  (It’s fine now. Except it’s sort of melting now because it’s corrupted, but it’s fine again)

The universe appears to have ended  (the universe is back again)

The Doctor has employed(?) Nardole (And Nardole was “reassembled???”)

There’s a vault in the TARDIS and it contains Missy but we don’t know why (sometimes she knocks for the bants)

What has happened to all these companions and where are the new ones coming from?

There’s an immortal Viking girl now. Her name is Me and she’s now looking after the people the Doctor abandons

What’s With The Silence?

Why was Rory entirely unconcerned by the entire world suddenly going silent when that is Not Normal and should have been, at the very least, extremely disconcerting?

What did the Doctor do to Queen Lizzie One?

Who is Captain Jack Harkness? (Is he the one who gave the companions a warning about the lone cyberman?)

Why is Amy seeing a one-eyed woman in a vanishing window?

What’s with the Doctor’s future involving getting shot by an astronaut?

Is Amy pregnant and why is it inconclusive?

Who is Sarah-Jane Smith?

How is the Doctor Bill’s teacher and why/where does he have an office?

What is going on with the Cyber War and the Cyberium???

Who did the Doctor lose to Cyber Conversion?

What happened with the Other Cyber War?

What happened with the Third War that deleted the void?

Why does Rose seem particularly important?

What’s with the Weeping Angel statues, and why can’t you blink at them?

What order do these Doctors go in? (Eccleston, Tennant, uncertain, Smith, Capaldi.)

Which companion just… forgot the Doctor, and how?

Yaz and Vinder are about to die as Mori/Mwri/Muuri

There is a Lupari shield around Earth.

What’s a Time War?

What’s the Rift?

What’s Bad Wolf?

What happened with Amy’s pregnancy?

In which war did the Doctor become a war criminal, and how?

Who is the Master?

Why has Amy forgotten Rory?

Is Rory plastic or not?

Why is the Doctor sulking on a cloud?

How exactly does the Doctor have a cloud?

What exactly happened with Strax to, uh, tame him?

Which friend killed Strax?

Which friend brought Strax back?

Where did this lesbian lizard and human couple come from?

What happened with Clara as Souffle Girl and the Daleks?

How does Clara actually join?

Why so many Claras?

Why is Missy apparently in robo-heaven?

Why is probably!Missy pushing Clara and the Doctor together?

What is Trensilor and what happened there?

Who is Handles?

The Doctor is about to be dissolved by a beautiful geode man

The universe is being crushed by the Flux

Will the Doctor open the fobwatch?

Sontarans are invading Earth again

Who is Kate?

Who is Osgood? Another name of Clara’s again?

The fuck is the deal with the Grand Serpent

Does Martha get to go to an ice cream planet with 12-fingered massage aliens?

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

ALSO. DAMN. speaking of worm being a fucked up story and knowing not everybody's gonna make it. i'm curious. do u have like... undersiders survival tier list? i wanna know who u think's gonna make it or who u think might not. when ur done having shrimp emotions over brian fridge etc of course :]]]

MAN. WELL. I DEFINITELY WOULD NOT HAVE HAD BRIAN DYING FIRST. GOD. hes not even dead yet (which is worse btw) but with the state hes in i may as well count him as such. i cannot see a world in which they convince bonesaw to fix him here. ugahuhh.

ANYWAY. this is not gonna be in list order bc im just thinking out loud as i type so here does. if im so real. lisa has had not one but TWO death scares already *and* her power is the least offensive so i thought for sure it was gonna be her.

im tempted to say taylor has final girl energy because she does and she could have plot armor considering most of the story is from her pov but with all of the interludes showing the story could VERY EASILY be told from someone else... i would not be fully surprised if taylor dies eventually and we switch main characters entirely. i would not be HAPPY about this per se but i wouldnt be totally surprised. taylor is so fast and loose with her own safety in regards to everything i could see her throwing herself into some situation and not being able to get herself out of it (very funny considering rn she is paralyzed at the hands of bonesaw in view of the brian fridge. aha. taylor you are in danger) HOWEVER i think if this is going to happen it wont be until wayyyyy later in the story and also itll either be some dramatic blaze of glory or just like. inconsequential and to save someone else .

torn on alec and rachel. if you wouldve asked me this like a week ago i wouldve said id expect alec to die second but i dont know why exactly? just vibes i guess. rachel is so hit or miss bc i definitely think shes strong enough to survive but also. again shes got the whole putting herself in stupid situations because of her anger thing which would easily get her killed if she was up against the wrong person. and i think in a meta sense killing her specifically would be SUCH a major shock. especially if its like. sudden or short or offscreen or something. someone who gets built up as super tough and indestructable getting offed in a second. idk. i can see it. ALSO LITERALLY THE FACT THAT AS OF RN THEYRE BOTH TARGETS OF THE S9 and from the way their test is supposed to work, only one person can make it out of there. which means AT LEAST one of them will have to die if they dont disrupt the test enough. (<< if this happens im expecting rachel to be the one that makes it. i dont think she wants to join the nine but i think shes more likely to go through with it than alec)

aisha.. i do not know enough about to say whether or not i think she'll survive much longer. she has done some STUPID SHIT and seems rlly reckless and doesnt care a whole lot for her own safety but also. need more info on her!!!!!!!!!!!