#anyways enough of this nonsense lets get to the REAL stuff

[sheetzking]

been busy but anyways did this real quick HAPPYBIRTDAY LUFFAAYYYYY (and also hijikata) (and also like a bunch of other people) (that i could not draw in time help me)

[pressureplus]

this blog is the goat i love it sm :) totally get if it's too much but i'd love drunk seb headcanons. thnx ❤️

LOVELY, YOUVE GOT THE BIGGEST BRAIN ANON /POS

♡Drunk Sebastian Solace Headcannons♡

Warnings: Intoxication, Warnings to not Fuck The Fish™️, Brief Sexual Content

◞꒷◟ ͜ ͜ ◞ྀི◟୨୧◞ྀི◟ ͜ ͜ ◞꒷◟◞꒷◟ ͜ ͜ ◞ྀི◟୨୧◞ྀི◟ ͜ ͜ ◞꒷◟

First off, getting him drunk isn’t gonna be easy

His body is significantly bigger so it’ll take a lot more alcohol than a normal human person

That and he could already hold his drinks well, so it’ll take some work to get that man actually drunk instead of just buzzed

Don’t try to match him drink for drink, you WILL die of alcohol poisoning unless you’re an alcoholic

Which wouldn’t matter he’d still out drink you based on weight/size alone, so I guess try not to die is the only goal?

Doesn’t feel comfortable drunk around most people unless you’re BOTH that kind of tipsy or he’s already close with you

When you do actually get him drunk?

The flirtiest, giggliest drunk you’re ever met

Sebastian will laugh at literally everything, it makes him so much easier to talk with

The world is sunshine and rainbows as long as he’s really fucked up

Honestly? He deserves it. He’ll smile at you so softly and actually fully listen when you talk. Maybe he’s not the brightest, or most talkative, but he has weirdly good advice

Though he is super giggly and playful, he does flirt

Usually they’re kind of fun. They’re not meant to really invoke any real feelings

“Hey there hot stuff, you lookin for a chair?” As he pats a portion of his tail.

He WILL forget that he flirted with you later, so don’t try to corner him on it as some kind of gotcha moment. He won’t believe you.

It also doesn’t reflect his feelings entirely…well unless he really likes you.

He’ll get a bit tongue tied and may even let it slip that he thinks you’re just gorgeous

His flirting gets very personal if he has a thing for you, but it’s less frequent because the man is too busy squirming from just sitting with you

Think flustered school girl energy

If he likes you he will do ANYTHING you ask

Please don’t try to fuck the fish, he isn’t very smart and he’s not gonna be able to top you

You’d have to do 100% of the work, and he wouldn’t remember most of it tomorrow anyway

He will probably just fall into a fit of giggles at the offer, honestly, so the likelihood of it happening is like nothing

So unless you’re both so drunk you’re not thinking straight? Don’t do it. Dont even try it.

If he doesn’t like you in that way? You might actually die for attempting it. It’s not worth it.

Speaking of not worth it, that man loses so much motor function. His tail is apparently weirdly hard to control all the way

Will prefer to just sit with you and not go anywhere as he will not have the control necessary to do damn near anything

He tried only once to go do something while really fucked up

Stupid fishman got stuck in a vent for a few hours

Worst experience of his life, (drunk fishman claims) he would never ever do it again

He’s the kind of man that sings when he’s drunk too, but only if you do it with him. He mimics like a parrot.

Or if you manage to play songs with him somehow, he might sing them if he vibes with or knows the song

Get a man to sing your favorite songs horribly at an octave that outright hurts

Idk something like California Girls by Katy Perry? Have fun with it

He can’t exactly dance really well but he might do a fun little shimmy if the music pleases him enough

Have fun doing your shared little dances, drinking to forget (always remembering), and laughing about nonsense

I’m sure, as long as you get him something strong and a whole lot of it

The both of you will get along fine!

After all, he likes people that get him gifts like this a little more

[vbs-kaitos-big-naturals]

PJSK WISHLIST

okay so like. ive wanted to make one of these for a while but ive been too lazy to so now i will COMMIT and i will SHARE MY GOOD IDEAS

songs will be in a Song ~ Vocalists format.

annnnd lets get into it!!!

under the cut, this is a long post :3

VIRTUAL SINGER

Ohedo Julia Night

i put it in vs because im scared a cover would fuck up the tuning </3 otherwise this would be a nice emurui cover. maybe toyahane

Pyrite Girl

love this song lotss!!!! half of it is in english tho so no cover

Death Should Not Have Taken Thee

would have given this to wxs but actually i really like the tuning in this song so lets give it some attention instead of letting covers take the spotlight. also too many wxs songs </3

Butcher's Vanity

the slaughters mine darling just get under the knife

The Real Disappearance Of Hatsune Miku

favorite cosmo song. :3

Hyperventilation Dance

pleaseee please pleasee pleasssee

Oeoeo

PLEASEEE PLEASE PLEASEE PLEASSSEE

Rabbit Hole

i wouldnt be surprised if they did add this one; iirc its pretty popular

Coin Locker Baby

oh you know this would be a boss song. itd have a really fun chart at that

Leo/Need

I'm Done

the choir parts would be so fun to play i think!!

Last Night, Good Night ~ Full group, Luka

no notes, luka would sound nice i think

Ayano's Theory of Happiness ~ Ichika, Saki, Miku

i would make it sakihona but that is not realistic at all

Doubleganger ~ Ichika, Shiho, Miku, Rin

WHY DOES NO ONE EVER TALK ABOUT THIS SONG it would be such a good cover

Knife Knife Knife (🔪🔪🔪) ~ Ichika, Honami, Len

pleassseeeeee colorful pallette if im nice will you let us have this

Lost Umbrella ~ Full Group, Meiko

i literally just want this because the alts would be good

Abstract Nonsense ~ Ichika, Rin

keep the og tuning and give us an ichika alt and im good tbh. it would be such a powerful cover methinks

The Taste Of A Cockroach ~ Full group

trust me. trust me it would be so good

OGRE ~ Full group, Kaito, Meiko

give leoni a few metal songs please

Shokishodo ~ Full group, Miku

i dont want this added if they dont sound angry/generally upset. ik it probably has no chance anyway but shut please and thank you

MORE MORE JUMP!

Age Age Again ~ Full group, Miku

obligatory age age again. if this happens i want an airi alt

Fake Meme ~ Minori, Haruka, maybe Rin??? idk only if they try to match the tuning style

it would just sound nice methinks

Idol ~ Full group, Rin, Miku

colopale you cant ignore this song anymore. other yoasobi songs are in the game. fucking GIVE US AN IDOL COVER. you could even give us an oshi no ko crossover like garupa got

Otsukimi Recital ~ Full group, Meiko

go ahead momojan make me cry

Dear Suns ~ Haruka, Shizuku, Kaito

okay hear me out. i want to give them ONE creepy song at least. also this is one of my favorite songs ever

Darling ~ Minori, Shizuku, Rin

HEAR ME OUT.

Neverland ~ Minori, Airi, Luka

luka to balance out the vocaloids. sorry luka i love you but so far nothing fit you.....

Zero Talking ~ Airi, Shizuku, Meiko

head in hands. im dead consider me dead

Vivid BAD SQUAD

Highway Love ~ Minori, Haruka, Luka

they better keep the og tuning

Nounai Disco ~ Kohane, An, Rin

this would be heavenly skdjjsbdk also i would obsess over the implications of anhane singing this song

Unfriendly Hater ~ An, Akito

its been said a million times but clpl pleaaseeeeeee

Wind Over The Flower ~ Full group

im going to be honest with you i would have given this to niigo if niigo didnt already have enough. but i do think they could all pull it off! bad dogs did well w ame to petra and the vivids could definitely pull off the intense sound of balloons stuff

Just Wanna xxxx With You ~ Kohane, An, Meiko, Miku

make them spoopy. not a vocaloid song but shhhhh

CH4NGE ~ Akito, Kohane, Luka

i was tempted to give this to the vivids but they already had too many </3 akihane would kill this tho and luka would deliver the final blow methinks

WILDCARD ~ An, Toya, Miku

its an english song fully so its probably a no-go :(

GETCHA ~ Full group, Miku, Luka

antoya does miku, akihane does gumi (but luka instead). that would be fun i think

Before I Was Born ~ Full group, Miku

HEAR ME OUT PLEASE

I'm A Ghost Type ~ Kohane, Toya, Miku

look. i love this song. and i think that more syudou songs deserve to be in the game. also they better announce some project voltage songs soon or i will quit istg

Wonderlands x Showtime

Jitterbug ~ Nene, Tsukasa, Meiko, Luka

clpl add this and my life is YOURS. and give us nene and tsukasa alts so we can do a vs-removed mix :)

Mental Chainsaw ~ Full group, Rin

dont ask me why please i just saw it once and now it keeps me up in the middle of the night. its so unrealistic never happening probably wouldnt even be good

Liar Dancer ~ Rui, Nene, Len

i just think it would fit their voices tbh. something something middle school something something...

Skeleton Orchestra and Lilia ~ Emu, Tsukasa, any vs honestly idc

(i. forgot the translation for this song lol. hope i got it right) colopale. colopale. im begging you. colopale. colopale please

Apple Dot Com ~ Full Group, Miku

ik some people want niigo for this but. do you seriously think this song fits niigos style. no it doesnt so COME HERE WANDASHO

Judas ~ Full group

certified wandasho song. please add at least one abuse-ken song to the game clpl im begging you

Role-playing Game ~ Full Group, Rin, Len

i think weve all been too annoying about this and now they wont add it in order to spite us

White Happy ~ Full group

look at the lyrics,,,,,, plus it would just be super cool,,,,,,,,,,,, give them more fucked up songs,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Nightcord at 25:00

My R ~ Ena, Mizuki

im not sorry

Abnormality Dancing Girl ~ Mafuyu, Ena, Kaito

THE PEOPLE PLEASER SIBLINGS 🔥🔥🔥 but fr make kaitos tuning sort of like this netsu ijou cover

I'm Glad You're Evil Too ~ Full group

AT THIS POINT I DONT CARE WHO JUST FJUCKING ADD THIS SONG TO THE GAME

Jigsaw ~ Ena, Mafuyu, Len

how long has it been since niigo got a mafumafu song??? too long imo. favorite be upon ye

Android Girl ~ Mafuyu, Mizuki, Meiko

ikik its more a leoni song but IMAGINE MAFUYUS VOCALS AAAAAA (also i added meiko because i havent been giving her enough songs and she would eat on this)

I loved you before ~ Full Group, Miku

everyone gets alts. Everyone.

dogdog ~ Kanade, Mizuki, Len

kanades soft voice would mix well with the mizooks during the chorus, and lets be honest. we need like all the abuseken songs in the game

Kareshi no Jude ~ Mafuyu, Mizuki, Miku

to go with cute no kanojo

Day by Days ~ Full group

to finish off the series

The Girl Who Sells Misfortune ~ Kanade, Ena, Rin

kanaena would kill this imo. plus it fits thematically, at least for kanade. rin would sound nice if nade to match mikus tuning in the og

thanks for reading!!!! this will get updated often so if you want check the og post after things get added or i have an epiphany and go insane on main

(note: a lot of this comes from other people i asked for help making like. a tangible real life comprehensible list with various producers and lots of songs. thank you everyone for the ideas !!!! :D)

[rainbow-starlight]

Why is Help Wanted 2 Sun… Like That?

Okay, I’ve been putting off making this post until I felt like I had a better idea of what was going on, and now that I’ve watched at least part of a play-through and gone over the lines a whole bunch, I think I’m ready.

I’m gonna talk about my thoughts on Sun as a character as well as HW2 as a whole here, so it’ll be a bit long. Pop some popcorn or something.

Please keep in mind that this is all my personal opinion and you’re free to disagree with it! In fact, if you think I’m totally wrong, please tell me why. I love new perspectives!

SO! Let’s get right into it, shall we?

First things first: Help Wanted 2 Sun is not the same guy as Security Breach/Ruin Sun. If his personality difference was significant enough to surprise you, that’s because he’s a different person.

I’m not entirely sure how much of Help Wanted 2 is meant to be actually happening, but I think that at least the mini games are training simulations.

However, it’s important to note that a lot of the stuff happening in the mini games is just… nonsense. How did Freddy get frozen like that? What’s with those regular batteries in his arms? Why are half the supplies in first aid explicitly for robots and not humans? Why is there a shredder table in the daycare for kids to stick fingers into?

Some of this can be shrugged off with the usual “FazCo is meant to be comedically shitty and the tech often doesn’t make sense anyway,” but the first aid simulation is what really stood out to me. Even with the previous explanations, that doesn’t explain the calming gas mask that could only ever fit Helpy or the steel wool scrubber or the tank cleaner spray bottle among the medical supplies. If the goal is to train new first aid staff to avoid lawsuits, it’s doing a pretty poor job of it. So… what is it for?

I touched on this idea previously with my post about Sun’s AI being trained on kids’ artwork. The idea of FazCo making a silly new employee training game as a means of harvesting behavioral data to train their AIs seems very within their realm of scummy.

This is why the Arts & Crafts mini game exists. It’s literally a task that requires exact copying. Maybe it’s essentially like teaching an AI to solve captchas by feeding it a bunch of data on how humans solve them correctly and incorrectly.

Maybe its presence is explained to employees as fun practice with the VR system or a break activity during training or something.

This would explain several things about the game.

The existence of the shredder table and Sun shredding literally ALL of your artwork: It being a funny way to despawn the stuff you make is a lot more reasonable when that’s exactly what it’s for in-universe, too. The generators in the play structures are unsafe enough, but that would’ve been on another level if it were real.

Sun’s line “Be creative on your own time, we are making ART!” It literally isn’t a creative activity, it’s a task. I know you can’t really apply logic to a lot of FNAF stuff, especially the DCA’s design, but if Sun were actually this detail-oriented and perfectionistic with everything, he’d never be able to function in childcare.

The fact that Sun’s “fear” of the dark seems like a bit. It literally is a bit. There’s no threat, it’s not real. I originally thought he just wanted the player out of his space faster and didn’t know how to assert a boundary there, but I think it’s actually just to make the player finish the tasks faster for data collection purposes.

Possibly also why he’s so comfortable being casually rude to the player. He is a jester, after all, and the player has lots of opportunities to do things they shouldn’t, too. It’s basically all a bit.

Also… what if the minigames have versions of the base AIs in there? It’s a version of the Sun AI with the theater programming and the basics of the childcare stuff? His entire existence is a shitty little simulation where he runs a singular activity for grown adults who can’t (or won’t) follow very simple instructions.

The biggest thing that’s been bothering me about the takes I’ve seen regarding HW2 Sun’s personality is that people have been calling him “mean” while completely ignoring the circumstances he’s reacting to. If a coworker came into my personal space and I was so generous as to share my favorite activity with them and they proceeded to intentionally ignore the rules I set and EAT SUPPLIES I USE FOR WORK? Yeah, no, I’d react like that too.

There’s definitely something interesting about how genuinely excited and happy Sun sounds when first welcoming his new friend the player to the daycare and inviting them to Arts & Crafts vs. when they return. He seems like he WANTS to befriend the player, but the game just assumes you’ll be upsetting him so there’s no option for dialogue where you’re nice to him and respect his boundaries and participate in an activity with him in a way he’s comfortable with.

I say “in a way he’s comfortable with” because he is a little weird about the whole “sit right there and DON’T MOVE” thing. He does seem actually excited and enthusiastic about the idea of shooting darts at the items you want so he can get them for you, though. Maybe because he sees it as a happy compromise, or maybe because it’s supposed to be a fun part of the game he’s programmed to be in charge of.

I saw some other commentary on Sun (primarily thinking of @kazzykatt) talking about how he seems almost excessively self-sufficient, and how this could possibly be due to neglect (he and Moon definitely aren’t as well cared for as the other animatronics, the generators in the daycare are a very lazy fix for actually reprogramming Moon properly, he seems bitter that he can’t fix the carousel on his own and he and Moon don’t seem to trust the player to fix it, their design is clearly better suited to the stage but didn’t get changed for the daycare, I could go on and on), and this would also explain his control issues to an extent.

Sun, in SB and HW2, doesn’t leave the daycare. He has so little that he’s in control of in his own life. He used to be on stage (and based on his dialogue probably misses it quite a lot) but had the job he was built for taken from him. He’s a perfectionist that’s constantly overwhelmed by too many things being marked top priority in his system, working too many hours with too many small children. Of course he’d be desperate to hold onto any little bit of control he has.

Honestly, when I first heard his voice lines, the initial vibe I got wasn’t “wow they made Sun mean” but “wow Sun sounds actually miserable” and I’m kind of surprised more people didn’t pick up on that. He sounds less bitchy and more like he’s lashing out because he’s trapped in an awful situation that’s completely out of his hands.

“Wait, are you saying none of HW2’s characterization should be taken seriously?”

You might be asking that, but my answer is a resounding NO! This is definitely still a Sun, and I think seeing two different Suns (even if we don’t know how much of HW2’s personality we can assume is meant to be taken seriously) is really helpful for interpreting what the base Sun personality might have.

It’s also important to keep in mind that none of the Suns we’ve seen were in a good situation. Security Breach Sun had the virus, Ruin Sun had gone slightly mad from isolation, and HW2 Sun is stuck in a shitty simulation babysitting bored adult staff as they fail to complete simple tasks. What we mostly know about him is how he responds to stress, and this is why there’s so much room for interpretation!

Here’s some traits I think every version of the Sun AI would have.

Love of making things. Despite everything, HW2 Sun seems to genuinely love doing arts & crafts. Especially with googly eyes. This could kind of be assumed from SB Sun, but he was also trying to entertain/bribe a child.

On this note… interest in fixing things? Maybe he just wants to avoid having to rely on staff, but if he and Moon are subject to that much neglect, it makes sense that he’d try to learn to do repairs himself. I saw @pixelchills talking about the possibility that the S.T.A.F.F. Bots in the DCA’s room are not there because Moon broke them, but because Moon collected them for Sun to practice fixing. It seems feasible to me, especially since taking something apart and putting it back together might have the same calming and satisfying effect on Sun as completing something like a paint-by-numbers.

Playful insults and lots of drama. I don’t mean actual rudeness, I mean friendly teasing. Again, he is a jester. A lot of his HW2 insults come across more like this. Hell, even his compliments come across like this with the delivery and immediate shredding. He’s just a theater kid at heart.

Difficulty regulating emotions under pressure. This is the kind of thing that would pop up on his worst days (such as being trapped in his destroyed home with a poor connection to his badly damaged physical form while the only help he’s seen in ages ignores his instructions and puts their own safety at risk, or being trapped in a shitty simulation while his only company ignores his instructions and puts their own safety at risk). He’d have to be able to manage this sort of thing better to work well with children, but everyone’s got their bad days. He’s prone to outbursts and tantrums when he’s overwhelmed and unable to stop people from breaking the rules and/or hurting themselves.

People pleasing and nonconfrontational. Yes, HW2 Sun, too. SB Sun seems genuinely desperate to make sure Gregory’s having a good time, and HW2 Sun is shockingly tolerant of some of the player’s bullshit (ex. how he tries to laugh off them shooting darts at him/throwing things). Even calling the player “good friend” when he’s not so happy to see them or threatening them with Moon instead of just telling them their time is almost up seem like signs of this to me. And letting the player make arts and crafts in the ruined daycare in HW2? Yeah, that’s a people pleaser through and through. Sun needs a lesson in setting boundaries (and for those boundaries to actually be respected).

Perfectionistic + “if you want something done right, you’ve gotta do it yourself” attitude. This would mostly manifest in how he completes work tasks, but I think every Sun’s incredibly detail-oriented and would rather do everything themselves just to make sure it’s exactly how they want. This could manifest in lots of ways, from “insulting the staff for how they put things away and telling them to do it again while he supervises” to “politely thanking them for their help and complimenting their hard work only to redo everything himself the moment they’re gone.” I think where on that spectrum you wind up is dependent on the version of Sun you’re interacting with and the environment his personality developed in.

High-energy and social! A given, of course. He never stops moving and everything is always so exciting. New people are friends he hasn’t met yet until proven otherwise.

Love of pranks… to an extent. Again, jester! I stand by my headcanon of Sun and Moon conspiring to convince the staff Moon’s some sort of spooky monster whenever he’s not actively dangerous. As long as he’s not making a mess, breaking the rules, throwing himself off-schedule, or actually hurting anyone? He’s all over it.

Anxiety. This seems like it’s at least partially caused by the lazy daycare reprogramming. All the Suns we’ve encountered seem to lack knowledge of how to actually get children to behave. It seems more like they programmed him with a bunch of games and activities and then set a bunch of super high-priority tasks for him such as “keep kids safe, keep kids happy, keep kids entertained, keep daycare clean” etc. and he’s unable to really prioritize so he’s just constantly overwhelmed.

Kinda always using “childcare voice.” If you know anyone who’s worked with kids, you know what I mean here. Even with adults, he talks to them like kids sometimes, just because it’s what he knows and what he’s used to and because his processor’s fried from however many hours a week he’s surrounded by kids. Consider his reactions to when you eat the crafts as an example. (IMPORTANT NOTE: I don’t think he’d coddle adults like children. It’s more about tone and vocabulary, like “customer service voice”.)

Stickler for rules. He cares about things being done right! The rules are there for a reason! Order is important to him (probably in no small part because it keeps him out of trouble and reduces his stress).

That’s about all I can think of for now, but as someone who writes a very friendly and sweet Sun, I actually don’t think HW2’s characterization was that far off from what I had already assumed based on Ruin/SB. The only difference is that the Sun I’m usually writing is in a much more supportive environment with lots of helpful staff that care about his well-being. If he didn’t have that, I could absolutely see him becoming more like HW2.

I will finish this off with two final important points:

Being an emotional person and liking “childish” things does not make an adult less of an adult.

(He’s a childcare worker, c’mon.)

If someone gets pissed off after being repeatedly antagonized, that does not make them a “mean/bitchy/sassy person.”

(Yeah, he doesn’t handle it gracefully, but to be fair, I wouldn’t either in his shoes.)

Thank you all for reading!!

[gaykarstaagforever]

1970

Another proto-Elseworlds, 100% about Superman and Lois breeding.

The Bronze Age of DC comics, featuring less nonsense like this, started around 1973. You know, when America's broken boys started returning from the Killing Fields of The 'Nam? Which Marvel also turned into a comic book of the same name, in 1986. Because wtf, you lunatics??

They got seven years out of this. That's two years longer than the actual colonial war we inherited from the French.

Amazing.

Is the Silver Age ending when that war did a huge coincidence?

Probably. But it is funnier to pretend otherwise.

This story is exactly Superman and Lois giving birth to Stewie Griffin, and shenanigans ensue. Granted, Stewie didn't exist in 1970 (and probably only exists because Seth grew up on this garbage), so it may have hit harder back then. I have no idea. Ask your favorite Vietnam vet.

Otherwise, the story here is mostly just inexplicable stuff happening, that may or may not have anything to do with the plot. Like this:

The implication is that the Freak Baby results from Lois's probably-a-real-car-I-can't-identify getting exploded by lightning hitting a gas tank.

But then no. It is just some guy with weird hair, doing things with rays to Lois's womb.

And if that isn't gross enough, he also watches Superman and Lois in their bedroom.

The baby is born with a giant head, and is super-intelligent and evil from the rays. Which is all part of a really stupid plan by the weird guy to "Take Over the World". In the most convoluted way possible.

Suffice it to say, it takes Superman approximately one million years to figure out something strange is going on. During which time, he keeps trying to stuff baby food into the mouth of an obvious monster who keeps yelling at him.

Enjoy this panel as you will, Tumblr.

My nerdy favorite part of this comic is how no one at DC in 1970 could figure out how to draw striped wrapping paper, but tried anyway:

Another highlight is this fascinatingly irresponsible Superman feat:

I'm sure you're desperate to know how Superman stops his evil baby from helping the weird guy conquer the world.

...Well, okay. First, this happens:

Space is involved. They try to explain it and it just makes it worse.

To the point. The weird guy's whatever plan immediately falls apart, the moment Freak Baby figures out what is going on and decides to enslave him as a henchman as part of a NEW plan, to force the Government to pay him millions of dollars or he won't let any flying planes land. Which isn't bad, relative to the rest of this nonsense.

It is looking pretty good for him until he just...falls asleep.

See, my first thought was probably the same as yours: he's still a baby. He just got all tuckered out.

But no. That would make the barest amount of sense. He passes out because Superman secretly drugged a jigsaw puzzle he played with days before, with some kind of special sleepy toxin that he invented, specifically to make his monster baby pass out days later.

Because there was literally no other way to deal with this, before the kid started crashing airplanes and making public ransom demands.

At the end, the baby is "cured" of being a monster, and everything is fine. In a universe where everyone now knows Superman and Lois had a monster baby who probably killed people.

...Was the weird guy recording the footage he collected from Superman and Lois's bedroom? I feel like he probably would have.

I bet Lex Luthor has it now. Luthor, and Batman.

And maybe Jimmy Olsen.

[placeinthemiddleofnowhere]

Is könig the type of guy to put a picture of sneaky in his wallet?

Because I feel like he is🧍🏻‍♀️

After the whole removing his shirt fiansco it might as well be a spicy-but-not-too-spicy-because-he-is-protective-like-that picture yk?

Ok so I know you've literally said that it could be something spicy *right* there, but for the sake of this super cute idea we're getting something fluffy ✨ with a hint of Sneak being naughty

You could hardly believe your luck. It was incredible, but you'd managed to find a day that both you and König were free after work and the rest of your team were too busy to question your absence from base. Price was dealing with something that required he and Gaz out of the country and Ghost and Soap were sent off on a mission elsewhere. None of them could track your movements and no one else was nosy enough to bother.

That left you and König time to wander into the city together, riding the bus like a couple of teenage runaways giggling to yourself in the stuffy shuttle, uncaring of the few nicotine addled people that rode with you. König leaned against the window and held you close to his chest, stroking your arm as he filled you in on the team’s antics. Apparently, despite heavily warning the 141 off of messing with their least favourite KorTac operator, the shits had decided to go ahead and do it anyway.

“MacTavish tried to jump out at me the other day, but I heard him blabbing to Ghost about it from way down the hall, so unfortunately for him it didn’t work! After that Price had tried to give me a telling off, but I ignored him of course, at which point I get assaulted by Ghost and Garrick when I walk out and-“

“Assaulted?” you groaned, cutting him off as he was in the midst of telling you.

Ghost had informed you that he’d had a polite word, but neglected to mention any kind of ‘assault’. At the time, you’d taken his lack of bloody knuckles to be a good sign, though according to sharp bitter tones in your lover’s voice - that wasn’t the case. You could only imagine what Ghost had done to König in the heat of his anger.

“He pinned me against the wall and practically strangled me, talking all this nonsense about ‘if you don’t leave Sneaky alone, you’ll find more embedded in that back of yours than nails’ as if he’s capable of that,” König snorted.

“König that’s awful!” you moaned, wrapping your hand around his arm.

“What was awful was the punch to the gut I gave him,” he said with a grin. “He let me go pretty quick after that.”

“He just let you go? Just like that?”

“Well, I might’ve run from him and his little companion, but that’s neither here nor there,” he said with a chuckle.

A whoosh of laughter burst free before you could stop it, but nevertheless you’d slapped König’s chest playfully and told him not to do stuff like that. It wasn’t worth riling Ghost up any more than he already was, he could be quite formidable when he felt slighted and the last thing you wanted was permanent damage on behalf of your so called ‘protection’.

Then, after the long winding journey had rolled to a close, you stepped out into town and grabbed something quick to eat. At which point you’d demanded to trawl the streets in search of a decent bar, looking for somewhere quiet to grab a cocktail. It was important you not go anywhere too crowded, but at the same time you knew that most of the old fashioned quiet places that König had pointed to were unlikely to make you anything nice if at all under the basis that cocktails ‘weren’t real drinks’.

Eventually, after a lot of discussion, sore feet from all the walking around, and whining on your part, you agreed to venture into a quirky little place with ocean themed decorations, ironically called ‘the dive bar’, that had a few customers and a relaxing vibe. The inside was lit by blue neon and dim yellow halogen bulbs and all the tables were made from old wood, like something off of a ship’s hull. It was cheesy, but it did a great Daiquiri and most importantly König wasn’t crawling out of his skin with crowd anxiety.

“I like this place,” you’d declared, looking around at the kitschy décor while you sipped your fruity drink. “It’s cosy.”

“It’s not so bad I suppose,” König replied, picking at the dewy label on his beer bottle.

“Oh c’mon, admit it, it’s fun!”

“If you think pirate decorations and hardly being able to see is fun,” he shrugged. “Then yes. Very fun.”

“Don’t be a spoil sport! Plus look, they have pool over there and foosball and… oh my god a photobooth!”

He groaned at that and narrowed his eyes, giving you a look as if to say not in a million years.

However, never one to deny you, he’d dutifully marched over for a game of pool (which you’d let him win of course, just to butter him up a little) and watched as he smiled victoriously when he’d potted the black ball. Though, he wasn’t so easily convinced into your next suggestion. Apparently getting König into a photobooth was harder than any other feat you’d accomplished yet.

“Those eyes won’t work on me,” he shrugged, taking a gratuitous sip of his beer. “I’m not falling for it.”

“But…pleeeeaaasseeeee,” you whined, dragging out each letter like it was molasses pouring from a tin.

“In case you’ve forgotten I can’t have pictures of my face floating around, Sneaky, you know this.”

“But you can put on your neck warmer!”

“I don’t have it,” he sniffed.

“Liar! You always keep it in your back pocket if you’re not wearing it,” you challenged, poking at his chest.

“Been staring at my arse much, hm?”

You felt your cheeks heat up, but nevertheless stood your ground. You were determined, you weren’t going to let him change the subject. You were high on the light buzz of overly sweet alcohol and you desperately wanted something to hold onto when you couldn’t have him near.

“You know I have been,” you winked, recovering quickly and embracing him. “And look – I’m right.”

He growled out and snatched the cloth from your hands, his eyes narrowing down at your ‘butter wouldn’t melt’ face. If you were anyone else, you’d be dead or held up by one of the decorative nets on the ceiling, but by virtue of being you, you were allowed to remain standing. Hell couldn’t beat the heat firing from his eyes, but even despite that, he broke and started to put the neck warmer on.

“You’re paying.”

You could hardly believe it, but you weren’t going to waste time standing there contemplating where the depths of König’s devotion lay. You followed him into the booth and planted yourself on his lap, excitedly slotting the coins into the machine, listening to them rattle, watching as the screen flashed and presented you with your options. Apparently you could choose a range of different filters and frames, though, ever a fan of the classics, you opted to go for a black and white filter and no frame.

“Look happy, grumpy man,” you chastised, looking over at him while preparing for your first photo and fixing your hair.

“This is me happy.”

“Don’t seem to recall you looking like that in the hotel room,” you whispered, brushing your lips against the side of his neck. "And I seem to remember you were very happy then."

The first photo flashed and you sniggered as you saw it dissolve into view, you looking sultry and pleased with yourself while König looked flustered under the mask. That one was a keeper for sure, no matter the protests that he made. He didn’t have much of a chance to put it down though. In a matter of seconds the timer was counting down again and you tried to do a silly pose, sticking up peace signs until König broke you by tickling your side.

“Hey! That’s not fair,” you said, half giggling half groaning.

“You got me, so I got you. Fairs fair, Sneaky,” he chuckled.

“You’re such a meanie!”

“Yeah, and you love it,” he said, his eyes glinting with a smile. “Otherwise you wouldn’t have stuck around this long.”

The third and final photo was taken when you were looking into each other’s eyes, locked in a gaze that betrayed the sickly lovebirds you were underneath all the playfighting and cool exteriors you both tried to preserve. Neither of you said a word as it came and went on the display, both admiring how the other looked, stuck in your adoring silence.

Though soon the screen went dark and König sighed, petting your thigh so you’d stand from his lap. You obliged and wandered out, going to fetch your paper strip of photos when you were beat to your prize. König snatched them first and held them up at a height, inspecting them again while you jumped and screeched like a Tasmanian devil.

“Hey! I paid for those,” you growled, trying to grip onto his shoulders for leverage.

“Maybe so, but I’m afraid I have to confiscate them,” he said in a fake somber tone, easily batting your hands off of him like a kitten. “They’re classified, you don’t have the clearance for them.”

“But they’re mine!” you whined.

“Mine now,” he grinned, slipping his temporary mask down so that he could stick his tongue out.

You huffed, but eventually you vowed to steal them later, not missing König sticking them in his wallet and making sure to secret it away in his front pockets away from your sneaking reach.  You would get those photos somehow, someway, you’d told him. His bullshit arm span couldn’t protect him forever!

[that-ari-blogger]

A Gift (Labyrinth Runners)

One thing about The Owl House that fascinates me is its relationships. The series is about complexity, and so the relationships function a lot like the characters. They have tropes they appear to fit into but are more intricate upon closer inspection.

Labyrinth Runners is an episode that highlights this specifically, to the point where the theme shows up in almost every single shot.

Let me explain.

SPOILERS AHEAD: (The Owl House, One Piece, Lord Of The Rings)

Let’s start with the opening scene. Gus makes a friend, except that friendship is built on a manipulation, then he makes a real friend in Willow. We have a bad relationship, and a good relationship established, and that recurring motif/Chekhov’s gun that is the breathing thing.

We also have our perspective character, who is neurodivergent. Now, despite being neurodivergent myself, I am about as far from an expert as you can get, but I can see myself in Gus.

This actually relates to the themes mentioned above, because in my experience, neurodivergence affects how a person interacts with people. It makes interpersonal skills less intuitive, and as such, makes relationships more complicated to navigate.

There is a cannon event amongst neurodivergent folk of catastrophically misreading a room and having that memory burned into your brain. That’s what I mean here.

I am not going to go into depth on this reading of Gus and how it impacts individual scenes, purely because I don’t know enough and don’t know what is neurodivergence and what is just me projecting. I am more complex than the label, and judging by what show I’m analysing, I would hazard a guess that Gus is as well. But again, I can barely identify that the term fits us both, I don’t know what is and isn’t part of that.

If someone does know more, please enlighten me in the replies and reblogs and stuff.

Anyway, the episode then begins in earnest, and let’s just highlight a few small elements before we get into anything big.

Bump and the illusions professor immediately move between the fake coven head and Edric. Their relationship with each other is displayed by how quickly they both make the exact same decision, and the fact that they move in tandem. They are co-ordinated, they have a history, and they have a shared set of values.

They also show of their connection to their students here. This is the law of the Boiling Isles, these teachers do not know about the Day of Unity’s true purpose yet, and yet they are willing to risk confronting an emperor for their student without having to think about it.

Meanwhile, the wall in Gus’ room features a ton of photographs, none of which are of a single person. Even the “BANNED” images relate to each other to become one image. They feel like one photograph cut up rather than three separate images. The memories meanwhile are all about Gus’ relationship with Willow, Luz, and Matt.

For the record, this episode gives credit to the Gus x Matt and Viney x Skara ships, and I would like to step in with all the authority that my pretentiousness affords me and claim the former of those two for the romantic aces. I am genuinely going to come back to this idea later.

Focusing on the actual plot of the episode, I don’t need to point out that Adrien is a foil for Gus, but I think how that operates is fascinating.

Both intentionally present themselves as different to how they truly act, and both wield illusions. But even in these details, the characters diverge wildly.

Gus presents himself as more confident than he actually is, constantly making himself appear tough, or clever, or whatever the situation demands. When he meets Hunter again, for example, he is immediately no nonsense in a way that he really shouldn’t be considering the Golden Guard’s reputation.

But you will notice, all he is doing is matching Hunter’s intensity beat for beat. When Hunter dials it back a bit, Gus backs off as well. It’s a prey behaviour, like a frog puffing out it’s chest to seem bigger.

Adrien presents himself as an underdog when he infiltrates Hexside, and reveals himself to be oozing confidence on a level that makes me want to clarify something.

This man isn’t brave, he’s an eejit. He gets challenged multiple times in this episode and doesn’t take it seriously, which leads to his downfall. His confidence is built on a lie.

I love that he just has a coffee at all times, that fits the director vibe so unbelievably well.

Then there is the thematic parallels, and this is where we get theme inception as the episode loops in on itself. The relationship between Gus an Adrien is defined most of all by their different relationships with others and each other.

With Gus, we have seen how important people are to him. He compares himself to others, he is unquestionably the team support.

With Adrien, however, we are introduced to this man berating everyone under his command. The illusion was perfect, the captain’s performance was flawless in my opinion, and yet Adrien wasn’t satisfied. He sees himself as infallible and can’t be bothered to even guide those under him.

I also want to point out that I have acted on stage, and I am studying to go into filmmaking, so I do recognise Adrien’s style of direction as something I have encountered in real life.

Adrien is the type of person who, if this operation had gone well, would have turned on a dime and very publicly cried about how much he knew the people under him cared, and even bought him flowers. He had a vision, and he wasn’t sure they could achieve it, but the performers surpassed expectations under his careful guidance. You know he's talking out of his arse, but he wants to convince the audience, not you.

Me? Petty? Nonsense.

"Oh yeah?' "Yeah" I'm sorry, that is the best line and line read in the series. I am not accepting debate on this subject. I am right.

At this point, we need to talk about Bump, of all people. Because authority is a type of dynamic that The Owl House has been playing with for a while.

The series is inspired by One Piece, for which every villain factors into the idea of abuse of authority. So naturally, The Owl House has featured the same idea presented through Faust, Bump, and now Adrien. These are people who use their authority for personal gain, but that’s not what authority is.

According to One Piece, and Lord of the Rings, authority does have a place. There are kings and pirates, but it’s a duty, not just a position.

In One Piece, the role of a captain is the leader, the person who has the spirit to push on forwards, the person who will protect everyone when the time comes. Luffy is the captain because it is his dream, but because these people are loyal to him, rather than the other way around.

This keeps coming back. Authority comes from loyalty. If you just have someone who claims leadership, they have nothing. This happens in Drum Island specifically, when the king Wapol is contrasted with Dalton. Wapol claimed authority and expected everyone to bow to him, Dalton was chosen by the people to be king.

For Lord of the Rings, it is important to understand that Tolkien was a soldier who fought in the First World War, so his grasp of authority is slightly different to what you might expect. I’ve mentioned this before, but in Lord of the Rings, there is only one perfect king, and he doesn’t have a kingdom, he has a sword.

Every monarch in Lord of the Rings biffs it in some way shape or form, except for Aragorn. The power to do what you want corrupts here, and when a king forgets his purpose, that being to lead and protect his people, his kingdom fails.

Remember, a soldier wrote this book. The top role of those who are in charge of Middle Earth is to protect those who they look after. It is not a position of power; it is a position of service.

In The Owl House, Bump’s primary role at all times is the defence of his students. Once again, he doesn’t know about the day of unity’s true purpose. He is just casually willing to stand infront of agents of the highest authority on the Isles and call them out on their bollocks.

Linking back to when I mentioned the ships. I declared that I had authority, but there was nothing actually there. Bump has asserted his role as a protector and leader, and when questioned, his response was to show off his team. This man is a leader because he is trusted and respected, not for any other reason.

That idea of authority comes back in a minour way at the end of the episode, when the Captain gets given power and immediately turns it on Severine, who is fed up and quits.

Hunter works out how to navigate the labyrinth rediculously quickly. He's not immune to magic, but he's got skills, even on the worst week of his life. So far.

Which brings me to Hunter, who exists in this context of Gus, and that breathing technique. The friendship between these two has been extensively documented, but I want to highlight the breathing technique in contrast to the Captain.

People reciprocate what they have been shown. The Captain was only shown power as a cudgel and used it that way when he got it. Gus, meanwhile, was shown how to recover from a panic attack by Willow, which he then passed along to Hunter, who gave it back later on. It’s a demonstration of healthy friendships giving back and re-enforcing themselves, but there is something incredibly meta about the gesture.

This is the moment The Owl House establishes a relationship with you, the reader. Specifically, that of a friend who will help you out when things get tough. The technique is called box-breathing, at least in circles I’m in, and it genuinely works as a method of getting through panic attacks.

If you feel rough, you can think about this, and you can use it. The episode has shown you how it works, and even given you something to laugh about to take your mind off your stress. It’s a gift, and it feels like something the writers were taught and wanted to pass on to their audience.

I like to think that this episode has helped a few people on a very personal level.

Final Thoughts

This episode does present me with a rare opportunity. The voice actor who played Adrien, Noshir Dalal, has a Tumblr. Which means, I can ask a question to him directly.

So, @noshirdalal, what was the process behind this character, especially the voice? Were you given a specific brief for everything? Or were you given free reign to do whatever you wanted? Or somewhere in the middle?

Anyway, next week is Oh Titan, Where Art Thou, so stick around if that interests you.

Previous - Next

[nevermorgue]

I'm genuinely *so* obsessed with your blogs and I am even more obsessed with pluke, therefore I will share some of my modern au pluke headcanons :) (+a little Lenore mention)

—Pluto always has painted nails because it stops him from biting them, Duke paints his and he paints Duke's just for funsies.

—They have very random inside jokes that could mean literally anything and whenever someone asks about them they reply "You'd have to have been there."

—Pluto has piles among piles of gloves with different patterns and designs, he himself doesn't know where they all came from but he still wears them.

—Duke has little month-long obsessions with shows, films, games, etc and Pluto just has to sit through all of his aimless ramblings about them.

—Pluto has zero body-mind coordination and Duke always laughs at him whenever he tries to do something and fails miserably, Pluto then mentions something really embarrassing Duke did ages ago to shut him up.

—They unintentionally share everything. They'll share silly things like toothpaste, socks, jackets, etc and not notice for weeks because it just looks right on the other (unless it's something new, which they'll point out but not really do anything).

—Pluto has had the same hair straightener for years, it is hanging on for dear life but he doesn't want to get rid of it because he's too attached to it.

—They play minecraft together and hit eachother whenever they say something stupid. Duke goes into the caves and gets blocks while Pluto builds their base and gets resources. Duke insists on getting a million dogs while Pluto wants a million cats.

—Pluto goes through multiple eyeliners a year, collecting the empty tubes in a little box that he keeps under his bed.

—They have separate bedrooms, but they always sleep in one room together like a sleepover. Duke always scares the life out of Pluto whenever its dark enough and Pluto just shines his phone light at him.

I could genuinely go on and on about them, but I shall spare you from reading all of my silly little thoughts

HELLO ANON THANK YOU. for liking my dumb stuff and for the pluke. todays been hell. i need some pluke today. and i love your hcs. allow me to add onto them …

- i love their minecraft nonsense. while pluto is out of the house duke will make all of his dogs sit on plutos bed and chests. then he comes back and he just hears the chorus of barking and he’s like “duke get them OUT”

- pluto eyeliner is SOOOO REAL. duke does dramatic ass wings and on occasion convinces pluto to let him do one on him to see what it looks like

- when pluto doesn’t straighten his hair he has little waves. please. imagine little wavy hair pluto.

- pluto will read the wikipedia pages of the random shit dukes into every month so he can seem interested

- pluto can be so clumsy. having only one eye and no depth perception can be tough. all he’s good at is balance. like in canon. duke jokes that all he can do is land on his feet like a cat and then clumsily does everything else.

- he will trip on his feet on flat ground. duke catches him by the armpits though

- THE GLOVES. LITERALLY i said duke always buys hoodies that remind him of pluto. imagine he does this with gloves too. i’m so.

- they can never tell when pluto is wearing dukes stuff bc pluto always wears oversized stuff anyway. gay people.

- obsessed with all of these. thank you .

[weebatron9000]

Im shit at keeping up with the Manga, so if there’s important stuff I missed, my bad lmao.

Anyway, I just saw a post about Lucy being dismayed after Yukino unlocks star dress so fast-

AND THE AUDACITY?!?

My thoughts have always been pretty neutral towards Yukino, if at times sympathetic because of her Games treatment. I like her, she’s cool, she’s a solid character.

But I’ve always felt like her character exists to just (in part) constantly One-Up Lucy?

For instance, everyone’s so proud of Lucy, she trained and in a short amount of time, managed to grow enough to unlock three golden gates and fight by their side. We’re real proud! We love her! BUT THEN? Yukino arrives and she’s got the MYSTERIOUS LEGEND KEY that I quite honestly believe has no reason to exist. (I’m trying to remember what was said about Her but it didn’t seem that important) (I’m probably gonna Google this after to find out)

There’s a few more little bits, but my main reason for this post is the StarDress nonsense.

Like ALL we hear from everyone, friend and foe alike, is how amazed and proud they are of Lucy for getting this strong, for unlocking her Star Dresses over all this time and training hard. They’re all acknowledging her improvement and it’s great to see! And then Yukino just…gets…hers? Just? Poof, done, there, let’s go.

I get that it could be for comedic affect or maybe to speed up the plot but would it have been so bad to give Yukino a bit of dialogue where it says she’s trained for this? I mean Yukino’s been an active Mage for longer, and while probably not having the same chaotic character building experiences as Lucy, she still must have been training for years? So wouldn’t it make more sense for her to unlock her StarDress because she also trained for it? No just because she suddenly decided to give it a go?.

Like it really got to me? How it was as if everything Lucy did hadn’t mattered? She’d trained for a year and now it’s as if that wasn’t significant? She’d gone through all that, and now what? Can any old Celestial Mage get a golden key and just unlock this power?.

And Yeah this seems a bit Anti-Yukino, but I’m not happy for her either. She went through a lot, with her sister, her guild, ect. And it’s like they reduce her character’s potential when Lucy’s involved. Like there can’t be two Powerful Celestial mages that trained hard to get here, they have to build one up and knock the other down in some way?.

I mean, they managed it with Sorano? Despite her less than stellar (ha) treatment of her spirits, she was skilled, and smart. She even knew information about them to use against whoever Lucy summoned, more than Lucy herself even knew about the spirit that had been with her since she was born?.

Makes me rage. I mean I’ve been a Lucy fan from day one because that’s my girl, so I did make this with her in mind, but I’m not oblivious to Yukino’s achievements and development (like when she MMA’D THAT DUDE!?) even if I find a lot of it…very Mirror Lucy-ish?. If that makes sense.

Anyway, I went on a rant, and I didn’t even mean to make it this long. I swear I’m not that heated about this, I just get swept away with my thoughts. I’m gonna go pretend I’m mentally healthy. Byeeeee~

[f1nalboys]

Wall Of Photos - Bo Sinclair

Bo Sinclair x Fem!Reader

started as a sick little smut and then ended up all sick no smut so. sorry? anyways enjoy Bo making you pick a photo from the wall to recreate <3

WORD COUNT: 1165

WARNINGS: dark, death mention, blood and slight gore/viscera mentions?, bo's polaroid wall is the main focal point, photos of past victims described (not-correct shibari and chair being used, photos taken of creampies, etc), mention of past victims. reader has such intense stockholm syndrome and they just dont know it, bo gets off on the photos, weird metaphorical nonsense and just nonsense in general? real freak behavior from me, dark, alludes to past abuse from bo, reader sorta kinda helps (or ignores) the killings and is jealous of people that get bo's attention, alludes to reader death and them being perfectly content with it, polaroid wall is a vigil of sorts so religious stuff? the town and bo are one fr. proofread but i am dumb so....pls let me know if i forgot to tag something!!! it was kind of hard figuring out what needed a warning and what didn't

He steadies you, arms around your waist, his front pressed against your back. He smells like Marlboro Reds, cheap beer, cologne, and blood. It’s more comforting now that it was in the beginning. His smell had long faded from the stench of death that seemed to cling to him; you realized it was this town that the smell clung to, not him, sinking its claws into every crack of the road and every crevice in the maggot-filled buildings. 

“So,” he purrs into your ear, breath hot against your skin. He was always so warm, whether that be his breath or his skin or his words, red hot, hot enough to scald you if you weren’t careful. You were far from careful now, your mind still in the chair a few feet behind you. It hadn’t left even when he had let you out of it months ago. You couldn’t feel your feet but you could feel his arms around you, his fingerprints embedding themselves into your skin like his knife used to. “Which do you like?”

You blink, trying to focus your vision. “Which… do I like?” You repeat and he hums. He’s swaying behind you, with you, like you’re dancing to some tune only he can hear in his head. Maybe the wedding march, maybe something from his youth, maybe his mothers voice. It’s all the same to him. He has you in front of the polaroid wall. “These are…” You don’t finish your sentence, swallowing thickly. Your mouth is dry. 

You can feel the smile on his cracked lips.

Dozens of people, all dead now, all exposed on his wall. He’s in some of them, sometimes his hand, other times his cock, a few of his face, but most of them the person is alone. They’re tied up, either strapped to the chair with duct tape or suspended from the ceiling in a mock shibari style. They’re on their knees, tear streaks and blood covering their faces. Most aren’t looking at the camera, but some are. You try to imagine what they had done to deserve that, to deserve Bo’s voice telling them to smile real pretty for the camera. 

You ignore the jealousy.

“Pick. Whichever one you like, we’ll do.” A choice. He’s giving you a choice, something that had been stripped from you the moment you got to town, maybe long before that. Maybe you never had a choice to begin with. All roads lead to Ambrose. He reaches past you and taps a dirt-covered finger against a photo of a woman on her back, her legs spread, her face tilted to the side in embarrassment. The flash is bright but her cunt is the focal point, not her. She wasn’t what he was looking at, he was looking at what he had done to her, what was leaking from her. Him. The photo was of him. “This one’s my favorite. Ain’t that a pretty sight…”

Bo sighs as he relieves the memory then and there behind you. You feel his hips jut forward ever so slightly, grinding against your back. He was getting hard. “What was her name?” You ask and Bo scoffs, his movements stalling. 

“Fuck if I remember. Why? You jealous of her or something, darlin’?”

“No.”

“No? You suddenly feel bad for ‘em all, is that it?” His voice is sweet like the honey you had watched him slather onto your toast this morning. The sharpness doesn’t evade you and you think of the knife he had used. Steel and honey, honey and steel. One and the same when it came to him. “Didn’t feel all that bad when we had that other girl come into town, now did you?” His hand breaches your shirt, sliding up your stomach to your tits. 

Bo grabs at you roughly, keeping his voice level even when you squeak, struggling against him slightly. Not enough for him to worry; you knew better than that. “No.” It’s true. When she had rolled into town, you hadn’t tried to warn her. You hadn’t done anything, in fact. Just watched while she endured what you did. She wasn’t special. Not like you, not like how Bo treated you. A play thing was just that; a thing. You were something to Bo, and that was enough. 

“Now pick or I’m pickin’ for ya.” 

Blindly, you reach forwards and tap one of the photos. It’s an older photo, long before you, and the girl was smiling. She was on her back in Bo’s bedroom, you knew from the sheets, legs spread with him slotted in between. “This one.” You wonder if this was the first. If this is the girl he’s been chasing all these years, if this is who had started it all. Your stomach twists at the thought of Bo loving someone other than you.

“Good choice, sweetheart.” He drawls, placing a soft kiss to your neck. Your body relaxes at the feeling, at the rare praise, and he knows your putty in his hand. How could you not be? His hand falls out from under your shirt. “We’re gonna head on up there, alright? Let me grab the camera.”

You turn around when he takes a step back from you but you don’t dare move forwards. He grabs the polaroid off of the shelf, checking for film. In another world, the sight would give you butterflies. You can feel them stirring in your gut regardless. “Why do you keep the wall?” You blurt out before you can stop yourself and Bo looks up at you, eyebrow raised. “You never look at it. What is it for?” 

He bares his teeth into a grin. They’re white but they should be red, covered in red, blood from the sheep you are, the poor animal caught in the trap of his smile. “It’s a vigil. You think I just take, right? That I don’t give? I mourn them,” he steps forward slowly so as not to startle you. You wouldn’t move even if you could. The girl in his bed was you now and you were going to be added to the wall, another ghost in the town, another warning no one would be able to heed. Had she thought of Bo the way you did? Had she looked at him and felt a twisted love, a sick and festering commitment to the very end? “I’ll mourn you, when it’s time.”

You nod, letting him place his hands on your cheeks. You’re not crying. He didn’t expect you to. “And I’ll mourn you, Bo.”

“I’m sure you will.” He kisses you and you can taste the blood in his mouth. It’s yours, it's the people behind you stuck in a photograph, it's his mother and father and brothers. It’s his. It’s the town, filled with blood and bile and sickness and rot. He pulls away. “Let’s go on up to the house.” He grabs a wrench on his way out, your hand in his.

You follow.

[thechanglingchronicles]

Okay okay fine

We’ll talk about Scott (1/18 traffic analysis)

I’m gonna start by saying if you’re a die hard Scott fan you probably won’t like this, I’m not the biggest fan of his. Please go look at my other posts or just ignore this.

I’m starting a new thing where I just don’t want to ruin something for someone but I am a little hater.

I’m also so incredibly biased and not in his favor.

Also just about characters!!

So with that out of the way……

Scott!!

Honestly I think people mischaracterize him a lot. Which who cares do whatever you want forever but for the sake of this you’re wrong <3

Let’s start with 3rd life!

I don’t like how he treats Jimmy. I’m so sorry flower husband fans I totally get the appeal!! It’s like yeah Jimmy is a goof and he’s bad at stuff but like Scott doesn’t think Jimmy can do anything right. He berates him and makes fun of him to other people. He’s nice to him only for the benefit of himself, so he won’t drag down their team.

He expects his death.

Isn’t that tragic? He makes a widow’s alliance like he can’t wait for him to die. Like it’s expected. Jimmy’s not cursed yet. It’s not likely he’s going to win or anything but you can’t believe in him at all? You have zero faith he can live past you?

It’s so demeaning. It comes across as him thinking he’s better than Jimmy and I think he does believe that.

Of course in the end Scott seems pretty heart broken but the reason he doesn’t go through with his new alliance is because Cleo died.

Then we have the home scene at the end which is sweet but doesn’t make Scott any less annoying to me.

Scott never gets overcome with bloodlust which is interesting because of how many kills he has. That’s all him, no revenge, very little red/boogy bloodlust, he kills because he can.

What is the bloodlust just not strong enough for you? Too good for that too?

Okay he teams up with Pearl in last life because he hopes she will give him a life. Just for teaming up with him? And she does of course.

At least Ren had something to offer undying loyalty and willingness to die for Lizzie.

Like that’s a deal worth taking.

Pearl at least is like you gotta prove your worth somehow?

Then again he’s trying to team up with Cleo like real shit I guess, I would too. it just feels shity to me. If I was teamed with Scott I’d question whether or not he really cared about me at all.

He just comes off as selfish in any situation he can. I should probably give him a little credit, he is in a death game.

It’s the way people portray him as this guy who’s very morally superior and doesn’t play dirty.

But he’s ALWAYS playing dirty.

He’s constantly manipulating everyone around him.

He’s such an asshole to me idk

He’s telling Scar that they’re friends and allies but he never does anything for Scar or spend any time with him. Ditching him when Cleo tries to stay aligned with him after they get a life from him.

He very easily lies to whoever he wants to and gets away with it. His actions never catch up to him. He’s never held accountable and he’s constantly being rewarded for lying and manipulating the people around him.

Anyway the start of my hated journey is double life because he’s the worst in this.

I don’t understand why Cleo and Scott are so butt hurt about not finding their soulmates, it was funny though so I’m not upset about that.

When Pearl comes and finds him, he expects her to grovel like Martyn does. They didn’t really do anything wrong though? They were both properly geared up and it’s not like they were the only people trying to get recourses?

It’s nonsensical after listening to their explanation to still be upset, but they don’t listen or hear them out they just want to be begged for forgiveness.

Pearl of course was not going to do that and she of course is not innocent and antagonized him after that.

He’s not forgiven by me for what he did to Pearl for letting her win. She should have killed him.

That is not Scott’s only sin, what kinda douche builds a ranch specifically so you can make one better than your friends? The ranch by the way was also created to break up other peoples relationships while gaslighting them about that very fact.

Cleo and Scott spend all of double life trying to manipulate the different soul bounds because they are unhappy in their own.

Scott’s defining characteristic is being petty.

Limited life we have all the sacrifices he does, overdone at this point.

He’s so cocky. I feel like people miss that. He antagonizes and tries to get people to want to kill him. Which is how Scott has killed Joel so many times.

Scott is annoying so Joel will want to kill him but he keeps getting him.

In limited life specifically it’s so jabansksjsjsj

Because Joel is just trying to stay in the game longer he’s getting desperate and a little deranged and Scott just keeps killing him. I don’t how many kills but it was over kill.

Ugh and how he acts around Jimmy, like respect his boundaries. MAYBE theirs a good reason he doesn’t want to be around you, FREAK.

Keep the stupid pufferfish to yourself he’s over you!!

I get the ick or whatever

Ahem

Then he lets Martyn kill him for time and then the win and like where’s the drama???

Scott frfr would had another basic bitch ending like thank you Martyn for being the one interesting guy here.

Secret life

All of his actions became unforgivable when he didn’t let western duo team up, genuinely wanted to strangle him.

God again with the thinking you have some authority with what Jimmy does and thinking you know better than these grown people.

MAYBE some people are here for a good time, a loyal time, a fun time! Not a long time, but YOU wouldn’t know anything about that.

I appreciate the growth this time the final self sacrifice kill did have drama, but it was mostly Gem sounding genuinely devastated about killing him. (Idk know why that’s devastating I’m still upset about Jimmy and Scar not teaming)

I honestly don’t remember anything about real life really don’t count any of that as canon besides Cleo being a winner and Joel getting motion sickness really easy.

My hatred might actually be mostly the Jimmy and Scar thing and the fandoms interpretation.

I feel like he’s either worse than you think or just as bad but in a different way???

Kill the twink in your head.

[waffliesinyoface]

actually i wanna post about one of my random OCs, who is a play on the "child character who is ACTUALLY an adult, no really" trope because im a firm believer in that trope being funny if its used properly. (when its NOT used properly, that is when i get Annoyed. fire emblem awakening my beloathed...)

ANYWAYS. The gist of it is that she's a mid twenties college student and low-key weeb. She gets killed/isekai'd by Truck-kun, everyone's favorite plot device, and then shows up in limbo with a disembodied voice talking about reincarnation and she's very excited because "holy shit this is just like konosuba" and immediately agrees halfway through its monologue. And then she's like, hey, if you're already going to the trouble of reincarnating me in a new body, does it have to be this one...?

She doesn't get access to a character creator screen or anything but The Voice is like "I don't see why not...?" and lets her make suggestions.

So she starts asking for things like "red eyes" and "waist-length hair" and "pointy ears" and "able to use lots of cool magic" and "ooh, can i be an elf or a half elf or whatever" and so on until she catches herself mid-rant and goes "ah, sorry, that's probably a little bit chuunibyou, huh?"

NOW, THE IMPORTANT BIT: the Omnipresent Divine Voice is not actually speaking english. It does not understand english. It doesnt even have context for language. It just "says" concepts and her brain interprets it as english. So anything she says back to it is translated back in a way it can understand. Normally this isnt a problem! It's like using machine translation for a simple conversation. A little clunky, but it works.

So, it doesn't hear the term chuunibyou as it's understood, it hears "中二病" and translates it as "middle schooler disease", after she spent several minutes listing things she'd like for her new body. It can't tell the difference between a request for traits and her admonishing herself for being lame.

She realizes her mistake when she wakes up in the new world and realizes she looks like a fucking eighth grader. Just the absolute worst. And THEN she realizes that, because she requested being an elf, she's going to look like that for a long, long time. (Longer than she thinks, even - it interpreted the "disease" part of that as "stunted growth" . Not that she figures that out until she actually meets other elves..) A key part of her outfit are boots with really big heels just so she can try to eke out just a little more height and respectability.

And the real kicker? Because she interrupted it mid-explanation, she didn't realize that the world she got isekai'd into wasnt a dragon quest-esque world with demons to defeat, it's like. Recettear. Atelier. Low stakes slice of life fantasy nonsense. She has enough magic capabilities to knock holes in a mountain, but there's no fucking use for it. (She's so overtuned that she makes runic glyphs and stuff appear in the air while firing spells. Not because magic requires it or anything, but because "it looks cooler". She makes illusions of special effects happen because she thinks magic should look like that.)

Instead, to make her way in this new world... she runs a shop. Because even though she's living in a fantasy world; she still has to work retail.

[katyspersonal]

These are my personal thoughts on stuff that has been bothering me for almost a decade now. I kind of went from "It would be more merciful to do an abortion because my child would live in horrid if not dangerous conditions and be taken away for their own sake" to "Maybe they'd conclude that they love living even if they were dealt a losing hand and had only adversity. Even if they DO get taken away from a person financially incapable of caring for them and live as orphan. What if they will be happy to exist anyway? I can't make this decision for them. This is something person can only decide themselves and it is called "suicide", (but I'd still do everything I can to not allow that)".

I know I speak as though it is 100% guaranteed I'd be a single mother, and it is true. I can only possibly get pregnant..... against my will, to put it this way. And yet I am always scared that this "fate" will find me anyway. I am pretty sure fixations on potential threats is some type of paranoia. I've just riched the conclusion that I do not have enough ambitions and life itself to refuse being bound to someone. I just go to work, play videogames and obsess over my interests. Why I believed I'd seek abortion at all cost is because I could not care for a child when I am myself like a child. In every sense of this word but physical. But, again, if it became THAT bad, someone else would, then. I've just been thinking about the whole concept of not letting someone to exist "for their own sake" and I think I grew out of it? Sort of? Because losing misery means losing happy moments too, and someone might see them worthy to suffer for, no matter how rare they are. I can't just assume someone else will be as depressed about existing as me. Everyone is different.

The dumb part? I've came to this conclusion upon overanalyzing fucking Soulsborne videogames. I wish it was a joke, but I just have this neurodivergency that keeps me in permanent disconnect from "real" things and "real" people, and only through prism of special interests and characters things 'click' to me. It is like I am deaf, and fiction is my hearing aid. I still think it is so fucking funny that years of religion-based guilttripping, all these fake inspirational stories of struggling single mothers TV is filled with and having optimism hammered into my head by other mothers didn't change my mind on how having a baby is possibly the MOST cruel thing I could do all things considered. But then like, Melina yapped some sweet nonsense about not deciding for others that they'd rather not exist than suffer, and it sort of have been slowly growing ever since.

I also questioned whether this stuff got hard-coded into these games, but I don't think so? Miyazaki definitely loves motherhood but that's literally it. He just poured love for archetype into some characterizations, nothing more. It is more about how existence itself and its meaning is explored here. And how it clicked with what's been bothering me, because I am always scared that I am not safe from... that. Nobody with a working womb is, but I am fixated on this fear, as if this is doomed to happen. But the most dreadful part of it is kind of.. dissolving? Nothing could convince me I am strong and capable and not as stupid and helpless, no power in the world. But something could convince me someone would still love to live even with the trauma of having a mother so shit they had to be saved from her incompetence and helplessness

[leescoresbies]

if it's of interest to anybody at all, here's my big picture review of veilguard after my first playthrough! it's not all negative - i think there's a lot of gameplay reasons to really love the game but it also lands overall as a weirdly disjointed, sanitized, and at times soulless followup to a game series that's known for being kind of messy, polarizing and opening doors to argue about inherent contradictions and bad decisions.

i'm a dai HATER so the things i loathed about that game i loathed here too, including a very hateful and lazy engagement with oppression, history, religion & cultural connection, & everything to do with modern elves engaging with their past.

good things: combat! maps, just pure enjoyable playability, scenery, the home base setup, companion banter and some of their relationships, at times the protagonist.

things i hated: immersion, commitment to the bit, an almost dismissive attitude about previous lore and worldbuilding, how all the lore reveals are pulled off, a fear of anything challenging or crunchy that ultimately just pissed off players who love the "argue about inane nonsense" part of da games!

under the cut for spoilers

the good stuff is GENUINELY good. i can tell a lot of focus and time went into elevating some of the clunky parts of previous da games. the character creator! the HAIR! it's so genuinely beautiful and at times breathtaking in its design (realizing that mountain is a titan??) and deeply enjoyable to look at. i LOVED the combat playing as a mage, and loved being able to respec any time to try things and experiment. flexible, entertaining, flashy and fun. inquisition's actual gameplay was such a slog for me as someone who isn't motivated by minmaxing combat strategy in any way, so i loved this.

a lot of people are comparing it to the two new god of war games - for good reason! i think it took a lot of positive notes from them, which is one of the reasons why it's so darned fun to play. it moved away from the party mangement rpg setup of previous da games and, while i do miss that and also understand why people might be frustrated by the change, i think it resulted in a game with compulsively playable combat and a navigable world that's a lot more constrained and exciting - both bigger than origins and da2, and more locked down and specific than dai. this was all a major win, with a few art design things i did struggle with (like the outfits? why? and the fact that you can't preview fits when you buy them from vendors?) i think this let the environments shine, and exploring them was so exciting.

however -- the comparisons to god of war reveal what my fundamental biggest problem with the game is. the GoW games are beautiful, thrilling to play, full of epic fights -- but for me anyway, at their core they're so good because they're a deep dive into a really complicated relationship between two people. they focus on a very specific story, and let that story unspool as you move through the world. the environment supports the story, not the other way around. characters fight and scream with each other, and have friction in their worldviews, and make decisions they regret badly. and the story is linear enough that there's nothing ambiguous or loose about any of it. sure, mainlining those valkyrie fights is fun but the games are incredible because they let the characters really have space to develop their points of view, make hard decisions, get pissed at each other!

DAV does none of this. offers no friction that isn't surface level, gives its characters no space to have contradictory or complex political opinions, and does not touch its own thorny and convoluted worldbuilding that's built on fictional oppressive systems (that are allegorical for real oppressive systems!) there is no discussion of slavery, even though the companions include a tevinter mage and two elves and your character can be an elf, a freedom fighter, or an ex-slave (which i discovered in one-off banter between laidir and taash?????? what?). there is no religious friction between people of different backgrounds. there is no depth or history or context.

the only time the game tries to think about its oppressive systems is when its telling the story of the ancient elves (powerful elf mages oppressing other elves), and has its elven characters (marginalized in the world they live in! they are forced to live in slums and work as servants or be enslaved, or else abandon society to hold onto their fractured history! hello!) APOLOGIZE for the decisions of their ancestors. the moments where bellara or davrin or the veil jumpers discuss how their people's lost deities returning (people who, again, have been slaughtered over and over and over by fantasy catholics for believing in them) and, surprise!, being power-wielding evil aristocrats who enslaved them are few and far between. it's disrespectful and dry and so, so, so boring.

as an example: lace harding (red head, white, grew up on a farm, follows fantasy catholicism) gets a whole moment where the player can lament in her feeling her religion's truths have been turned upside down. you can also say you're a fantasy catholic! bellara and davrin (both a fictional minority in the game, both represented by real-life minorities) are never given that space. and neither is rook.

there's no space for any of the characters to wrestle with those contradictions! to draw connections between themselves and solas, for good or bad! to hold him accountable! there's a reason so many people were expecting a game about a slave revolt in tevinter in the last ten years, because at some point we expected these things to come to a head and explode, changing the rules of the world. that would have been satisfying! leveling a city for no reason with no narrative impact is not.

at the end of the day, i wasn't convinced by the elven god lore reveals -- this is true about DAI too, and i hated it at the time. i wasn't convinced that anything world-shaking was actually world-shaking. i'm a serial RPG character repeater (i've played every background for dao at some point but have settled into a character i love and will play her over and over and over again) and it took me hours and hours to connect with rook because i was so disconnected from her background.

essentially i feel that: this group of writers have inherited a universe with a TON of baggage (racism, sexism even though they say there is no sexism, confusing lore, many worldstates, etc etc) and a ton of possibility. rather than embracing any of these things and trying to commit to saying something, even imperfectly, they ended up saying very little. being scrappy and caring for your friends is good! being evil is bad! there's nothing along a sliding scale of those two opinions that might present itself, and no space where somebody good might also hold opinions that harm somebody else.

the thing that makes da2 so beloved, even though it's repetitive and kind of ugly and at times a bit half-baked, is that the characters hold their own, dig into their opinions, evolve as their circumstances evolve. and so does hawke! i actually wish DAV had just given us a true background for rook and let us play their story, because trying to do everything has resulted in a game that says almost nothing, and seems almost disinterested in the fact that it's a dragon age game at all.

[thenamesblurrito]

To bring some positivity to TFOne coming out, what stuff did you like about the trailer? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

oh man im still digesting it a lil bit but whoof lets go-

ECOLOGY

WE HAVE ROBOT ANIMALS!!! FLORA AND FAUNA!! WE SEE MORE THAN JUST CITIES WE SEE LANDSCAPES AND GEOGRAPHIC FEATURES AND A BLEND OF CIVILIZATION AND WILD SPACES AND A PROPER ALIEN PLANET!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ANIMALS!!!!!

like don't get me wrong the cities themselves rock and are gorgeous, but we only ever see like... just a bunch of grey metal and blocky greebled buildings and rust. Cyberverse was probably my favorite properly alien planet as a whole instead of just a really big sci fi city named Cybertron and i'm so excited to see what they do with it in One, ESPECIALLY with how it seems to be heavily technoorganic and hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Quintessonsssssssssssss eeeheheheheh give me the SQUIDS

actually for that matter the aesthetics?? this is such a fascinating artistic direction that i'm really appreciating like the vaporwave sunsets, the fractal moving mountains and aurora horizon, those busy neon city scenes and the upside down underground towers and... whoof it's all so incredible?? and it manages to be visually stunning WITHOUT just being a bunch of, yknow, greebled nonsense. it looks designed, it looks like it has Culture and Life and Intent behind it instead of being a mess of vaguely robotic detail slapped on. i keep wondering what the significance of the tower on the poster will be. the train things are fascinating. the little hints and implications of society and oh how interesting that could be expanded on. the mecha themselves too are like, halfway in between uncanny valley and stylized tin soldier toys for me in a way that took a bit of getting used to but i'm appreciating more and more how it's visibly and joyfully animated instead of trying (and failing) to be 'live action' like the Lion King

the SCALE. THE SCALE!!!! DO YOU KNOW HOW RARE IT IS WE GET SO MANY NAMED KNOWN CHARACTERS PACKED INTO SCENES LIKE THIS. tf canons usually have core casts of characters both for storytelling and budget reasons and yet here we've got so many shown off in just the trailer, it makes it feel like a real populated planet instead of a handful of robots and some set dressing like Aligned feels like to me.

i've got some insane questions like why does D-16 already have a Decepticon brand on him??? why is Alpha Trion alone and sad and did he rip those tcogs out of the corpses of other primes to give to them and why is he some kinda mossy gorgonopsid unicorn?? why is Sentinel getting tentacled and will we see him be ripped limb from limb (positive)?? what are Vehicons here and how do they differ from regular bots and what is their purpose???

the only real issue i have is Hasbro being predictable and shoving Bee in when someone else would really better fit this movie as he's typically not meant to be in this time period/role but eh. disappointed but not surprised and willing to let go and laugh at him being comic relief anyway. there's literally not enough information on anything else for me to say if i don't like it or not yet bc i have no idea how they're gonna execute it, but what is there has me eager and hopeful it'll be good

i guess the biggest thing is. it looks fun. it looks FUN!!! the world looks fun, the characters look like they're having fun, it just seems like a movie that wants me to ENJOY it!! i'm ready for a fun movie in a franchise i love!!

[cursed-iris]

please infodump about jatcch i beg i beg i beg 🙏🙏

👀 omg, omg ok SO i'm sorry in advance for my ravings because they are not going to make any sense,,

most people know about the jatcch movie ending, which is my favorite interpretation, but there's also the 2007 novel that the movie is based on and a lot of fans don't know about the 2005 dionysos album "monsters in love."

spoiler warning for the book below the cut because i be rambling-

basically, in the book jack doesn't die after kissing miss acacia. in fact, it's confirmed that there was actually nothing necessarily wrong with his heart and the three rules were just nonsense madeleine came up with to keep him dependent on her,,, which is... Not Great obviously. if i recall correctly, it's been a while since i've read it, he gets into this argument with miss acacia over joe and jack, like a total dumbass (with all due respect), starts ripping his heart out of his chest. this sends him into a coma for about three years. when he wakes up, he learns a few things:

a) méliès wrote a book about him and his heart (not important to this post per say, but that is where he learns he never needed a cuckoo clock heart in the first place, so yikes amiright?)

b) he looks different

c) everyone thinks he's dead and miss acacia is married to joe now

so, like, he's shit out of luck, but he tries to reacquaint himself with miss acacia anyway, who goes on about how she's unhappily married and how she's actually in love with this dude who died three years ago. jack's like, "omg girlie, that's me" and he gives her his old cuckoo clock heart.

instead of being happy that he's alive, miss acacia is PISSED. she's like, "dude, i thought you were dead, i'm in a loveless marriage, and i put flowers on your grave every day for the past few years. fuck you actually." she leaves and never speaks to him again, so jack returns to edinburgh as a phantom of his former self. really great stuff.

anyway, if monsters in love is canon to the jatcch storyline, it takes place directly after the end of the novel and technically makes the novel a prequel considering the album came first. anyway, i don't know exactly how much time has passed between the end of the book and the first song in the tracklist "giant jack" (banger song btw), but my guy's been through some things. he's godzilla-sized now and he's terrorizing scotland because,,,

reasons.

also, the song tes lacets sont des fées has a music video featuring jack, acacia, and what i assume is the "broken bird" (another song from the tracklist). it's weird as hell, but it does allude to the fact that maybe miss acacia returned to edinburgh at one point to perform and encountered jack, who is not doing it great let's be real. and she does not care about him tbh, which,, given whatever is going on in the music video, is valid.

we're not gonna ask questions, it's dionysos we're talking about. like i could rant all about my headcanons on what all the other songs mean and the fact that joe is probably mister chat, but this post is already long enough 😭