#anyway. those are our thoughts. :']
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IAN GALLAGHER + his journey with bipolar disorder
╰┈➤ “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of." - Carrie Fisher
#happy world bipolar day to all my bp babies#(more thoughts at the end of the tags)#shameless#shamelessnet#shamelessedit#ian gallagher#cameron monaghan#*macygifs#bipolar disorder#hello pals how are we doin#i made this gif set in july of 2023 and never posted it because 1) i was terrified to share it and potentially see Bad Takes in the tags#and 2) because my hyperfixation was waning. and while both of those things are still mostly true (the fixation comes and goes)#i feel like it's really important to share as ian's bipolar storyline was not only so vital to his character it was a bit of representation#that isn't often given to the disorder and those (like myself) who live with it every single day#world bipolar day is a day where we can both celebrate ourselves and our resilience and also raise awareness of the reality of the disorder#which is both terrifying and beautiful at its core. this disease is not a death sentence or a sentence to an unfulfilled and miserable life#while there are challenges galore when it comes to balancing life with this disorder it IS possible to live a full and productive life#and i think it's really important to have representation of that in media - and while shameless dropped the ball on a LOT of storylines#over the years THIS is the one they really fucking nailed and i am incredibly grateful#i first started watching shameless while in the midst of a major depressive episode and i was later (finally) diagnosed during an extended#hypo/manic episode - this show and ian's storyline got me through so much and made me feel so seen and validated in my struggles#world bipolar day is also vincent van gogh's birthday (happy birthday buddy) who was posthumously diagnosed with bipolar disorder#and who experienced both depressive and hypo/manic episodes during his lifetime (and was regularly institutionalized)#it takes a lot of help and support to keep us going. it takes the support of our family and friends and *most* of all#it takes patience and kindness and understanding - which is so so so easy to give if you are willing to love and listen#so please. be willing. listen to our stories. be patient with us. show us love without conditions. support us in any way you can.#we are worth it#i promise#anyway. that's really all i wanted to say. happy world bipolar day to those who celebrate (me) and may all of us living with this disorder#go on to live happy fulfilling beautiful magical lives
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one of the things that I found particularly interesting in Demigods of Olympus is that it finally gives the best direct comparison we've seen so far between Percy and another character's experiences in terms of academics and particularly ableist discrimination.
The way Zane describes his experiences and what we see in his POV is that, while he is similarly discriminated against for his "atypical" behavior and blame is placed on him, the only sorts of punishments he receives for this are relatively benign, such as an increase in counseling. (It is also notable that Zane is somewhat autistic-coded, such as having the "incorrect" scripts when speaking with adults and Sam explicitly reminding him to remember to make proper eye contact.) Percy, on the other hand, similarly experiences discrimination for "atypical" behavior, but whereas Zane is treated as "too smart for his own good" and given slaps on the wrist, Percy is automatically labeled as aggressive, destructive, and a trouble-maker based on preconceived assumptions about him and is more severely punished, such as being frequently expelled.
We rarely get this level of direct comparison between Percy's experiences and that of another character, particularly such similar experiences, so looking at the differences is really interesting to gauge what their different experiences with ableist discrimination is like - and how it could potentially tie into intersectionality and other forms of discrimination at play for them.
For instance, Zane's parents are generally heavily implied to be middle-class and/or generally financially secure, versus Percy who grew up poor, so it could be classism in combination with ableist discrimination. Alternatively, it could be intersectionality with racial discrimination, as neurodivergent behavior in people of color is significantly more likely to be punished more severely and labeled as aggressive or disruptive behavior due to racist preconceptions - particularly since we know Percy's experiences with ableist discrimination are also somewhat based on assumptions people make regarding his appearance. Both Zane and Percy are racially ambiguous - Zane's appearance essentially being completely unspecified, but Percy at least having some notable details such as having a deep tan complexion. If not racism, it could also be colorism, which in this context often has similar intersectionality. There's a lot of potential options.
It's just very interesting to me! I love having such a direct point of comparison to examine the experiences of two characters within.
#pjo#demigods of olympus#riordanverse#percy jackson#zane carver#analysis#disability#adhd#one of my biggest gripes with analysis that i see often in the fandom is people erasing Percy's experiences with ableism#particularly academically and instead electing to frame his experiences as ''only possibly being from [x] - there's no other explanation''#which is really sad to me because it just highlights how little people understand what ableism and ableist discrimination look like#and simply seem unable to process our experiences and stories meant to reflect our experiences#so having another frame of reference to compare Percy's experiences against is REALLY nice and particularly fun for me personally#because it gives an opportunity to highlight both the general disabled experiences Percy faces due to his adhd/dyslexia#but also how that potentially ties in to intersectionality with other demographics he's a part of or may be a part of#because now we have a point of comparison between how two disabled characters are experiencing similar discrimination for the same thing#but there *are* differences between them in specific ways that potentially indicate something occurring in addition to just ableism#which is fascinating! and allows those discussions in the context of intersectionality WITHOUT erasing disabled experiences! yippee!!!#anyways this is mostly off the noggin since ive just been rotating the thought for a couple of days#chewing on this chewing on it chewing on it
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"Why are you scared?!" "No, it's just - I thought I was weak..."
#14shyx#14shyx edits#kamen rider#kamen rider gavv#gavv ୨୧ kr log#kr gifs ♡*+:。#kr gifs ♡*+:。 gavv#kr.gavv: episode 1#gavv spoilers#these gifs prob look so bad i haven't uploaded any in months + i think my laptop's colour display is real off T-T#i've checked my phone and our family monitor but i still can't fix the colouring issue :(#anyway - usually i'd wait for the subtitles to come out before i attempt captions and whatnot but this scene took me oUT#and i have a busy few weeks ahead of me#based on other episode clues i'm 95% certain shouma meant he's considered weak for his species#i thought they would have shouma get knocked to the curb like a bowling pin#instead they had shouma isekai-ing the truck drivers xD#those poor guys - shouma sent their souls halfway up to heaven asdjsdkafk
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it’s actually so wild to me that this fairly quirky YA type show gave both of its main characters deaths that can, in one way or another, solidly be considered hate crimes. they were both flat out murdered as a result of being A) gay and effeminate or B) brown (south asian, specifically) and you could argue whether or not those kids thought of it that way in the moment or whatever but the bottom line is that they would not have been in the situations that killed them if they weren’t of their respective minorities. like legitimately that is a ballsy choice for this kind of netflix show, let alone for the two Main Characters, and i respect it big time
#rambling#i think about this a lot#you could brush charles’ off as a hate crime by proxy since it was in response to him Stopping a hate crime#but that would be stupid. like you think what happened to him would’ve happened if he was white? doubtful#as a mixed person the way i see it is that in that moment- when he protected that pakistani kid- he went from being tolerated#by being/acting just white enough and with enough other jock traits to sort of fit in amongst them#to all at once proving to them that no- he is in fact The Other. he isn’t one of us he’s one of Them.#and as such what happened to him would’ve been a bonafide hate crime. even if they were to give an excuse like ‘he got in our way’ or ‘he#made a fool out of us’ or whatever else. even if those boys didn’t fully UNDERSTAND the racism in their own intentions/actions#it still would be. because that would not have happened to a white boy. period#anyway. genuinely fascinating choice they made with the way they presented his death- especially considering it was not#remotely similar in the comics. neither of them had the hate crime aspect going on really up til yockey’s narrative choices#so props to him. man’s got balls#dead boy detectives#charles rowland#edwin payne#edit: I will say that I don’t think the boys in edwin’s case technically murdered him nor would I call them murderers#because I can’t imagine a single one of them actually thought that ritual was gonna do anything more than make him piss himself#it was still hate-based bullying. like they still absolutely did what they did because he’s visibly effeminate and easily clickable#and all in all: gay. but when I say edwin was murdered I don’t really mean by those boys. I mean those boys dragged him into the situation#(kicking and screaming) that GOT him murdered by a demon. and he would not have been in that position if not for being gay.#I’ll say it again because last time I talked about this someone got real pissy in my inbox: I am not excusing the actions of the boys that#got him killed nor am I saying what they did wasn’t based in homophobia. i am just clarifying that they didn’t intend on killing anyone or#think whatsoever that someone getting killed was even a possibility (as opposed to charles’ killers who definitely had to have thought he#could be killed even if that might not have been the premeditated goal of every boy involved)#but the fact that edwin was ultimately intentionally killed by a demon counts as murder to me#someone killed him on purpose. that’s murder#the demon probably didn’t give a shit about this human teenager’s sexuality but regardless he ended up there for being gay.#so. just. a clarification
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Bestie Deficiency
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#a-qing#xue yang#xiao xingchen#Xue yang is cold because cold blooded creatures can't generate their own body heat#I am skipping over drawing the stories they tell due to the fact this arc is already really dragging#but I think they are very key in understanding the yi-city characters#Even if they are stories that really bring down the slumber party vibes A-Qing was hoping for.#I mentioned some of my thoughts in the tags of no. 76 but to continue on a bit more#I think xxc and xue yangs stories inversely mirror each other on the meaning of sacrifice and what it means to 'deserve' something#to xue yang he has only ever sacrificed - therefore he is in his right to 'deserve' what he wants. And he wants everything.#xxc leaves song lan thinking its the best course of action to atone but my god. No it wasn't. Poor communication crown actually goes to xxc#but it's what xxc he feels he deserves - continued sacrifice to atone. He wants to want nothing.#both are very stuck in the past in ways that are not actually accounting for their actions#It's easy to look at xue yang and go 'dang you need to get over your childhood trauma'#but that very much ignores that fact that we - real human beings - define so much by our childhood pains.#Growth is having to come to terms with it and trying to move past it...and not everyone is ready for that.#I have a lot of thoughts on that matter but I'll let it be for now.#Anyways. Amiguito appears to be one of those words whos meaning change depending on speaker and contextual factors#So as far as I can tell it slides around on the scale on romantic and platonic. Which works for this dynamic. I think.#Native Spanish speakers I am so sorry.
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Tumblr my beloved beloathed hellsite 🥰😂
Currently watching half of the people I follow panic/make/move to blue sky from twitter
Debating if I even want to make one, I hate having multiple social media accounts. Its something that irks me lol 😅 (plus too many to juggle and I’m too old for that 😆)
I only joined twitter initially because it was required long ago and repurposed it to look at twst art when I got sucked in years ago by jp artists lol
I’m not leaving this hellsite though. I’m too comfy here and my friends are on here. I met so many nice people here that you’ll have to drag me away kicking and screaming lolol 🥰💞🤣
You all are stuck with me 😈🫰
#Hana’s thoughts#for all the complaint I do about tumblr at times#it’s still home to me and the place I’m most comfortable of all social media sites#but that’s normal since we all call this place our beloved hellsite lmao#plus this is the only place where I feel I can truly be my most unhinged self#and not be judged or bullied#where else can I be free to write essay long love letters and fangirling 🥰😌🫶#not those word limited places that’s for sure lol#Anyways -places handcuffs on you all- you’re stuck me mwahaha 💞💞💞💞💞
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HELP you are so funny for this 🤣💀
I just laughed for 5 minutes straight. I feel like people who don’t pay attention to your random rare lore that you drop in your tags are missing out cause girl you funny as fuck
honestly i forget that some people actually look at my tags LOL. i usually just say random things that come to my mind 😂
#i’m glad you find my tragic taste in men amusing#he trauma dumped and then talked about our future together#it was literally our first date#but what am i supposed to do they either want to marry me or they’re a frat boy#college life is so embarrassing#anyway#bonus lore for those still here: i’m an ordained minister via the internet LOL#simply because i thought it would be funny#also fuck organic chemistry#it’s ruining my life
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I have a lot of feelings about Benedikt's grief in the first bit of Our Violent Ends and how he deals with it/how it affects his relationships with other people, but I don't know how to put it eloquently so I'll sum it up by saying I want that shit injected into my veins
#p.s. the way roma describes benedikt screaming when he realizes marshall is dead haunts my thoughts every day#these violent delights#our violent ends#secret shanghai#chloe gong#benedikt montagov#marshall seo#roma montagov#alisa montagova#im tagging those three bc it involves them too#should i bust out a multi thousand word analytical essay like i did for kerch + ghezenism + the van ecks#perhaps#but not now#anyway#benmars
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calling harry a “can opener” was SUCH a good play for so many reasons i think about it every day.
in the context of his work, it makes him a tool. as many people have pointed out, including martin luiga, part of the hdb tragedy is that he simply cannot leave the force, and his superiors know that and are using it to their advantage. no matter what happens, even if harry hated every nanosecond of every bit of the work and wanted to leave, he can’t and won’t leave. they can leverage anything they want against him and then reel him back in with a facade of kindness when they “allow” him to keep his job, as long as he does what they want him to. the 41st knows he has this inexplicable talent with people and they use him for it. he’s a cop: that talent can be used in so many awful ways, to push so many different agendas. and they won’t even be his own. a can opener has no particular desire to open a can, aside from maybe the satisfaction of fulfilling a purpose. a can opener has no agency, it’s just a tool for someone else to use to get what they want. and he’s learned to be okay with being used as long as it means he gets to stay. his complacency with this system makes him guilty even if he’s also being harmed by it.
but in the context of his personal life you kind of... flip it. the people around him are going to be opened up whether they want to be or not, and it’s terrible for his relationships. it’s shown that the questions, the prying- the can-opening- it’s become inextricable from who he is as a person. it’s like he doesn’t know how else to communicate, except it’s hardly communication when you’re just ripping people open. he’s invasive as all hell, although whether he means to be is debatable. he’s the kind of person that wants to take things apart to see what makes them tick. he dissects people, but really that’s too delicate of a word for what he does; if he doesn’t get what he wants right up front, he’ll abandon all subtlety and go for brute force. if he can’t get your screws loose he’ll just smash you on the ground and pick through your pieces until he’s satisfied, and if what he did to you isn’t fixable? oh well, there are other cans to open.
and he’ll use it for personal gain: we already know he is (was?) manipulative. once he knows how you operate, he knows how to make you keep him. he can yell or he can cry; he can threaten you or he can threaten himself; he can be completely suffocating or he can withdraw completely; he can be an incorrigible liar or brutally honest; he can present himself as a threat or a joke or a talent. he’s a chimera- that’s why he’s got this inexplicable magnetism, even when people know they shouldn’t like or trust him. fidelity of character means nothing to him. he’ll be whatever he needs to be as long as it gets him what he wants. the can-opening is just his way in.
#disco elysium#harry du bois#and it works on us the audience as well!#look at how many different versions of harry there are out there. each tailored to our individual preferences#we exaggerate and minimize his traits according to what we want to see. he's can-opening us too!#it's just like. of course his job will frame the can opening as a positive thing#but it's honestly one of his worst traits. or at least it is when he doesn't keep it in check#there's nothing wrong with wanting to understand people but the way he goes about it is harmful to everyone including himself#he's doing it because he has ulterior motives like 99.999998% of the time#this is mostly about pre-martinaise harry but i have no doubts that post-martinaise harry can go right back to this btw#a lot of us prefer to think of harry as drastically improving after martinaise which is great and i'd like to hope he does but.#it's also good to consider the overwhelming possibility that he will go right back to being a total shithead#and that may be completely unintentionally! which almost makes it worse!#ALSO. this is part of why kim makes a very good foil#for the most part kim will stonewall anything he doesn't feel like sharing#harry needs to respect boundaries and by god does kim have a lot of those (affectionate)#HOWEVER kim is definitely susceptible to the can opening as well#wait okay i have another post idea.#anyway thanks for reading. as always feel free to add and share thoughts!#kiwipost#hdb meta
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day 27: did it for you ♡
(prompt list for femslashfeb)
#minifemslashfeb2023#vtuber#hololive#holomyth#polymyth#amelia watson#takanashi kiara#calliope mori#gawr gura#ninomae ina'nis#it's about WHEN YOU LOVE THOSE THAT ARE MONSTERS#AND WHEN MONSTERS LOVE YOU#it's about becoming a monster to save the ones you love#it's about going back and going back and going back#until you can find the way forward#it's about leaving doomed timelines because you can't save them all#anyway I have normal thoughts about amelia watson#I JUST LOVE OUR TIME TRAVELING DETECTIVE#AND HER MONSTER GIRLS
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i have a theory that the baby!jack fanaticism in the fandom partly comes from the fact that on june 26th, 2017 (less than two months after jack was introduced as a character) the us supreme court ruled that queer couples were allowed to adopt in all 50 states. so naturally, as kelly died giving birth to jack, dean was in the midst of his widower arc, and the fandom thought that jack was going to be a baby, we had a wave of romanticization of infant adoption for destiel.
#also yes i say romanticization for infant adoption because it causes brain damage. i am an infant adoptee. i can almost guarantee that i#know more than you about how infant adoption affects adoptees. no. even as a queer person im sorry but i do not#care as much about our ‘right to adopt’ (nobody has the right to someone else’s child) versus how it affects adoptees#infant adoption is still harmful even if the adoptive parents are queer. this is not meant to be about that but i will not be argued with#about this. if you have complicated feelings and want more information then please do your own research. but this isn’t#supposed to be About That. this is just looking back on how real world events effect fandom#and how this ruling affected the queer community and thus our largely queer fandom. there still needs to be a conversation about how#adoptees don’t have access to their original birth certificates in all 50 states#(because this ruling was about queer couples being shown on the new birth certificates as parents. which is great for adoptive parents. but#adoptees still have our birth certificates amended to where our biological families are erased. those records are still sealed for at least#18 years but sometimes indefinitely. the ACLU still doesn’t think adoptees deserve that because their board has adoptive parents and works#with the adoption industry so they financially benefit from queer people being allowed to adopt)#or how infant adoption is harmful but most people are not ready for that conversation. it’s cute to have make destiel dads. i get it.#but they’re dads in canon already and we really need to at least look at adoption as the nuanced topic that it is instead of#making it this cutesy thing or all about dean or cas. adoptees deserve stories about us too#so yeah anyways. this is just a theory and i obv can’t confirm if but it just makes a lot of sense to me. thoughts?#supernatural#jack kline#adopted jack kline#adoptee issues#adoptee voices#the romanticization of adoption in fandom#dadstiel#destiel#baby jack kline#castiel#supernatural fandom#dean winchester#s13#hw.txt
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"is this a plant or a weed" im going to pull all the hair out of your head
#finally working up the nerve to make some progress on fixing up my garden#after it got completely destroyed by the ppl who replaced our roof#and im just sitting here SEETHING at all the damage#and i cant stop thinking abt how when i brought the inspsction guy around the yard and gave him a detailed explenation of all the damage#he was like 'well you have to understand we dont know a lot about gardening. a lot of this stuff even i wouldnt be able to tell if it was a#a plant or not'#and I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT HE WAS IMPLYING#he didnt think my plants where rocks#he thoight they where 'WEEDS'#and instead of thinking 'lets try not to destroy any plantlife#those assholes thought 'lets try not to destroy anything that Looks Like A REAL Plant'#but all those WEEDS???? yeah lets STOMP ALL OVER THEM#ARGHGRHGHRHRH BITING GNAWING#I HATE MAINSTREAM GARDEN CULTURE YOURE ALL IDIOTS#ITS ALL PLANTS ITS ALL PLANTS#STOP MAKING PRECONCEIVED NOTIONS ABT WHAT DESERVES TO LIVE BASED ON APPERANCE OH MY GOD#text#lawn posting#<- because i blame stupid ass colonizer rich person lawn culture bs for this attitude#and they still stomped on my hostas and irsises and hakone grass anyway
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aug h .
#I am. So normal about Any Dark Cacao Update to kingdom ever#DEVSISTERS ENOYGJ OF THE BEATS LITERALLY JUST GIVE DARK CHOCO HIS TRAVELLERS FIT AS A XOSTUME AND MY LIFE IT YOURS#and pitaya’s. plea se#where was he devsis you gave hon some screen time in the trailer and then he VANISHED#beast yeast spoilers#but like#I know he was helping create that cure for the pale ailment but WE DIDNT HET TO SEE HOM MUCH ON SCREEN#only in mystic flour cookie’s thing she showed to dark cacao about how his kingdom would be fine without him#btw that king dark choco fit FUCKS I need to spin it like weird cat#but other than those two instances he was GONE#and when I saw the bit titled “the reunion” I really thought they were gonna meet again but NOPE#I WAS right about the deaths being fake ours and also i definitely didn’t cry from relief when I saw crunchy chip cookie was okay#I promise#anyway. where was he#dark choco cookie
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i finished this in the last 20 minutes of lesbian visibility week after not drawing at all LETS GO
#lila art#genshin#genshin impact#genshin fanart#arlecchino#arlecchino genshin#navia#navia genshin#arlevia#navicchino#i dont think thats a ship name that anyone uses but im tagging it just in case#arlecchino x navia#this took me SO FUCKING LONG you would not believe#to be fair it was because i kept getting distracted by youtube or twitter or the thoughts inside my head#but STILL#i am very proud of this though this is one of like. two kisses ive ever drawn that look Good and the other one i didn't finish lmao#i was kind of impartial to arlevia until like. Yesterday#and now they are very important to me#arlecchino has a big polycule full of all his lesbian girlfriends and one bisexual woman (clorinde)#im also lowk obsessed with drawing sideprofiles because i am fascinated with drawing different noses#and giving characters different nose and face shapes#it is so beautiful how humans are so diverse in even the shapes that our bodies make#i went on a rant with my friend about this a few weeks ago#ANYWAY i was going to say this earlier but i forgot#i am Sorry for those two panels being so rushed and bullshitted#i had been working on this for like 8 hours and i wanted to be done SO BAD#but i needed to finish before lesbian visibility week ended!!!!#ok going to farm for father before i pass out good bye
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So there's been something I've wanted to announce for a ..while now, even hinted at it every now and then if I remember correctly, this is coming a LOT later than i thought (there were some very important things that set the release of this further away haha oops) but I think now it's time.
For the past few months I've been working on..
The Royal Wedding - An [Untitled] Visual novel
Yep, you've heard right !
Despite what the blogs inactivity and general lack of videos may make it seem (oops), the smp has been more active than ever before! We developed our own fun little system to roleplay our characters in game, and even developed many storylines and character arcs. It's honestly been really fun, and I hope I speak for all when I say, that we're very happy with what we have made this season!!
But, (unfortunately) most won't people want to go through almost a hundred transcripts of these sessions to experience this season. So, I thought of making a visual novel myself :]
This game will cover the first arc of season 3. the [Political Union Arc]. There are 6 "episodes" that are planned to release eventually (I have an idea to add 2-3 extra episodes if there's enough support for the game tho!)
After escaping the grasp of the void, the players of [Untitled] settled upon a new world to temporarily call home. However, due to the growing distrust brewing between the group, they were fragmented into factions. ...Eventually, an agreement is made between all factions to maintain diplomacy amongst one another, the Peace Treaty. But said peace is disturbed when a certain faction ruler causes discord upon the players with a simple question.
I'm sure you're wondering, when will it come out? I don't have a set deadline yet, since the last part of the game, the soundtrack, is still in production and I do not wish to rush that, but stay tuned for updates on the blog!!
#untitled smp#visual novel#minecraft smp#mcytblr#bubble fell from a high place#fr gonna change my tag one day !!!#the royal wedding VN#the royal wedding VN updates#<- thought it would be useful to have a tag for those#anyway WOW . this is the first post of the year . isnt that wild.that doesnt sound right#sorry about that our dear . 3 active followers . its probably less but ily this is for u#plss reblog this if u can ^^
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listen I'm not gonna be a Curly apologist he did Fucked Up as captain but I genuinely recommend ppl watch a playthru that goes thru the game in chronological order. It kinda helps clear up the events and gaps between them, bc even tho u See the times, you still experience it out of order.
The stuff Anya says definitely sets off alarm bells but it doesn't seem like he Fully Understands what she means, and I'm going to be 100% honest I think she was trying to repress it herself. This isn't to say that she is AT ALL "at fault" for what happened after and she should've gotten help even if she wasn't ready to fully discuss the issue but I genuinely think she herself was still coming to terms with things, so she didn't necessarily process the full impact before talking to Curly, and a lot of what happens occurs after they're laid off- like this delves into personal interpretation but I genuinely think Anya only registered Jimmy as a serious danger after his outburst towards Curly. Ofc my interpretation is limited bc of the limited pov in game and not having gone through what she has, but it personally reads more akin to coercion over time than a singular Obviously Violent incident (like. Not to say that Sexual Assault isnt violent in nature, just that coercion often specifically works to obfuscate the fact it is a form of violence.) The layoff is a Massive catalyst for her bc of Jimmy, in that she now has a very clear understanding of his capacity for aggression.
To extrapolate a little from the "Dead Pixel" conversation, she starts by saying she Likes The Screen (even though it's fake). While Curly has his quotes about the pixel "not ruining the illusion" which. Y'know is Symbolic Of His Flaws. She doesn't say the pixel ruins it, just that she can't get it out of her mind.
If we take the pixel to represent her Or jimmy, either way the way she talks about it kind of downplays things, like it's a Minor Thing that's Slightly Upsetting, but she's still okay with the big picture. Idk I could be 100% wrong but that is my take
Besides that, Anya tells curly she's pregnant 2 days before the crash, and it isn't until she outright states it that he starts Putting The Pieces Together. I want to note, he says "I'd do anything" and "this doesn't have to go on our performance evals" 1. Before he knows shes pregnant 2. Under the assumption she might attempt suicide, and I doubt he even thought about her using the gun on anyone else before she brings that up. He says literally before the line where she tells him she's pregnant that "being laid off isnt a reason to hurt [herself]". Like I've seen ppl talk about the performance evaluation thing like it's about her and jimmy, but I think he's referring to (his belief) that she might attempt suicide or similar which might genuinely be a consistent thing he's seen her struggle with, given she's able to go through with it. Also just to note: assuming their society is like ours (hellish) reassuring her he won't blab Abt her mental health is like. Genuine reassurance- lots of mentally ill ppl will Not Open Up bc it could have long term consequences (like. For example. On employment) ANYWAYS I hope it doesn't come off like "Curly never failed Anya" but rather "Curly approached this specific situation without the context of why Anya is panicking and (possibly validly) assuming she's dealing with a very different issue"
Also let me say again the time frame is 2 days. We don't Really see what happens, but we know Anya tells Jimmy without Curly knowing. I genuinely believe he maybe didn't do a Great Job in those two days (the fact he says Anya should've talked to Him before telling Jimmy is uhhh. Mm. 1. Your job to create an environment where she comes to you my man 2. Weird to tell her what she should do with HER OWN PERSONAL INFORMATION) but like.
I get a lot of ppl want immediate consequences but consider that they can't really get rid of Jimmy (co pilot. Which is. Y'know it's Own Problems) but also like. Curly knows Jimmy, and we know that Jimmy tends to lash out. Curly should probably Not Confront Jimmy Unless He Knows Exactly How To Keep Him From Hurting Anya. Like I'm not an expert but this is something genuinely important- when confronting an abuser you NEED to take into account the impact it can have on their victim, and sometimes for the victims safety you need to wait until you have a Solid Plan. It sucks but it's important.
And theres discussion to be had about Curly kinda going along with Jimmy saying "well what if we all died" and like. I do believe he Didn't Realize What Jimmy Said. Like he was just processing/trying to keep the situation under control (and failing because he underestimated how willing Jimmy was to hurt everyone including himself).
Like he's definitely an enabler but I would say his problems are mostly before he understands the gravity of the situation, in that he's friends with Jimmy and assumes the best of a man with abusive tendencies, and fails to create an environment that can keep Anya and the others safe. Like, he definitely doesn't handle in game events perfectly (psych evaluation for one- he does do it instead of Anya which is actually helpful, but he still treats it like. Weirdly.)
Idk I have a lot of thoughts about this game and I don't necessarily want to defend Curly but more like. Anya's situation is very delicate (and light on details) so sometimes the way ppl talk Abt it feels like they aren't actually focused on what she wants and what it means to prioritize her safety y'know?
Edit bc I just now figured out kinda how I want to word it: curly is an enabler and making things worse bc he doesn't put a stop to Jimmy's BS, but in the specific scenario we see in game I think he's trying to use his Skillset of like, people pleasing not for Jimmy's sake but for the crews (like "if I nod my head and say I sympathize he won't lash out and hurt them") which like. There are situations which that is unfortunately the safest option (on an individual level yes, but sometimes it's also necessary to prevent abusers lashing out in response toward ppl who are more vulnerable) but it was the Wrong Choice.
It's like. I think Curly was trying and had good intentions, and understood that he needed to protect the crew, but he didn't have the toolset/experience to realize he can't Just go along with things and that he needs to be able to set hard limits, even for ppl he likes and trusts. Like he failed but the failure was "for want of a nail", where it began way before what we see (for want of an understanding of power dynamics I guess.) Again, don't think this makes curly more forgivable or whatever, I just think he's a good example of trying to make the right choices when you never realized you'd have to make these kinds of decisions and therefore are unprepared and/or unaware
Second edit: personally I don't think you can really incapacitate jimmy without there being serious risk (again he's the copilot) but curly should've given Anya the gun when she told him Abt the pregnancy
#Mouthwashing spoilers#Rape ment#Suicide ment#SA ment#Yeah. Pronouns were kicking m fucking ass in this post. Names also bc I once called curly jimmy#if I write to much my brain stops cooperating with words#Idk. The way she brings up the locks in my mind sounds a little less like#Singular Incident and more. The lack of locks is a Very Important Boundary That's Missing#That feels like it often leads to the erosion of other important boundaries especially when someone abusive#Is specifically pushing those boundaries. Idk again. My take on it#And while Anya says ''i told you'' a part of me thinks she told him like. Y'know vaguely about the situation but probably didn't#Characterize it as assault (bc even if he didn't believe her I don't think he would ask ''who'' if he remembered her telling him#That his friend assaulted her) and was maybe not interpreting it as assault herself bc she was trying to rationalize it#Bc she's in a very isolated situation for over a year in a place where Two Whole Rooms Have Locks.#Realizing she was in the cockpit (has a lock) when Curly is assuming she's suicidal (or at least going to hurt herself)#And then she's in the medbay (has a lock) when she actually. Y'know#Idk I'm fully up to debate this. If someone has good reasoning why curly is actually worse than I think he is I'm all for it#I'm just trying to like. In the context of my beliefs understand the actions he takes and how they fit in within the timeframe#But legit watching a chronological playthrough helps A LOT bc like. Game is super impactful nonlinear#But like. That's not how the characters experienced it and it really fucks with the timeline of events intuitively#Anyway again. If u hate curly that's entirely understandable I just want to try and organize my thoughts while keeping#The timeline and my view of events relatively straight. Feel like there's sometimes a lil too much focus on how the men failed Anya#When we should focus on what Anya's needs and wants are. Which ofc from our POV characters are Hard bc. It's curly and jimmy#But still it's worth trying to understand her better than they do#Game that makes you think so much your brain becomes mouthwash
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