#anyway. those are about KEEPER not the fandom though

[bookwyrminspiration]

I have such a desire to make a deep dive video about the Kotlc Tumblr Fandom (inspired by Jenny Nicholson or Uncarley) but also I feel like you or Nattie would be much more suited for the role. I can barely remember what happened two minutes ago, let alone make it entertaining…

This is my way of putting the idea anonymously into the atmosphere. Perhaps someone with more than half a brain and some talent will soak it up

Anything in particular about the tumblr fandom or just the fandom as a whole? Both are easily achievable (besides the massive work any video essay takes), there's a lot of material to work with here.

I'd also throw out Cath (everliving-everblaze) as a good candidate/consultant on a project like that. We call her our fandom historian for a reason. I believe she's the one that added keeper to Fanlore.

perhaps I shall become a literary video essayist...

[proship-confessional]

Vent Tw

Sometimes I wish there was like a "peace keeper" blog or something where they can make posts like

"If your anti interact with this post so proshippers can block you!"

And

"If your proship interact with this post so antics can block you!"

But I know that would just lead to both sides being harassed (since despite what proship actually means, people will still use it wrong and under the label will harass people)

But it could be so nice if not for that. I can think of ways to expand its uses.

People could send in asks for specific Fandoms and a list of specific tags for online spaces they are in commonly and both sides could interact with the two posts and make a block list for eachother to use.

Hell, those in proship spaces can use it to block each other! Like those who don't like darkship or comship or other parts of the proship community, they don't want to be around at all. For those, I think blocking tags should be enough, but if you just full on want to block and avoid anything, why should anyone stop you? May have their own reasons for why tags aren't enough.

Or if the blog owner(s) were willing, they could try to get a full list of a tag and all its variants for those who tag things to properly tag and those who want to block them to be able to block all of said tags.

Not sure if this is overboard but might already be so why not go the extra mile, people could send asks about certain fandoms and lay out if they have certain triggers or things like that and if anyone is willing to tag things like that in their Fandom so they can avoid it

Even those not comfortable with interacting can still use them and achieve a good result for all sides.

Since tbh, even if they have the understanding of the label proship wrong, I don't want to interact with them anyway? So a block list I can go down would be nice, and with it being a dedicated blog, I wouldn't have to worry about accidentally blocking the blog I'm using to block people who have like hearted the post, since those blogs may not post much so may end up missing them.

I dunno I like blocking people passively in spaces I want to interact more in so that way I don't have to interact with those people, and they don't have to interact with me. I may be going a bit overboard with it, but I like doing it so I can scroll through said spaces and be less likely to accidentally interact with an anti's content. And they hopefully won't ever even see me if I quietly block them lmao.

It's why an idea of a blog like that sounds honestly really nice, but only people who would probably interact with it are those already using the proship and anti ship tags and can just go to each of those respectively to block, both sides already expect the possible harassment. So while the idea I think is nice, it's also honestly pointless and moreso something I needed to get off my chest due to trying to make sure to block antis in spaces I am in.

Was inspired by me using some heavily anti posts to look at the hearts and block lists of people, though getting a bit exhausted at times, so having to take breaks. (Again I go overboard with blocking but I find it a relief to avoid them, again they don't want to interact with me I don't want to interact with them, neither side needs that drama and blocking is free and a bit fun imo)

Will say as an extra note with me doing this, I hate "Basic DNI" because that CAN mean "dni proship," but I don't know if it does for sure! I don't want to accidentally block fellow proshippers. If any anti happens to read this, just put proship in your dni, I'm pretty sure most of us will happily block you, so there is no need to leave it in a weird grey area.

This isn't the most logical vent in a lot of ways but it's late and it's my unfiltered thoughts on wants I know cannot have because they make no sense if I actually think about them for 5 seconds. And I'm a bit weird in a lot of ways but I am allowed to curate my experience as much as I want, even to an extreme point! I find it fun and relieving.

(I also am exaggerating in a lot of places, but I am dramatic, like saying "exhausted" when I more so mean a bit bored, its fun for a bit but then can get boring obviously)

(Also, even if I love the idea of a blog like that, I am not willing to make and manage one like that unfortunately lmao)

that honestly sounds like heaven on earth and lowk i’d consider running a blog like that but lord knows how i feel about anti’s due to all theyve put me thru… i could be civil tho with some work haha

[topazshadowwolf]

Hello there, you! I have not failed to notice you going through my fics. And apparently, you didn't just stick to my Dadmare stuff, either, @chiyannad XD The Great and Wonderful Doctor W.D. Gaster and The Door?! I haven't updated it in aaaaages. Still, happy to see you enjoying my new and old works, so thanks for that.

Now, about Lyra. I am hesitant to say "OC" as an original character to me is a wholly original and not tied to a fandom. Lyra is a fan character designed to be part of the UTMV of at least HNBD. Though anyone is welcome to use her for their own creations.

Those stories you see her in are set in the future. Balance, or Lyra, will appear in HNBD, but she will be more of a side character who will play a big role... I needed someone to be a Balance/Order keeper. And I wanted someone who wasn't a Sans. So, I picked a Toriel and decided to repurpose a Toriel from an abandoned AU idea that came up years ago in Soriel Discord for her origins. In time, I will tell her story, but fewer readers are interested in her than in Dadmare, thus focusing on Dadmare.

After years of writing Soriel, I should have known that my brain would insist she should kiss a Sans. Over time, I accepted that I would be shipping her with someone. Past me thought if she were to fall for a Sans, it would be Dream. My brain did not get that memo, as she somehow fell for Nightmare. And... yeah... it will make sense when she finally starts playing her role in HNBD. That said, I still hold to no ships being in that fic. The most you will see is a budding friendship.

Anyway, her history will be part of a FuzzyNight fic, as she would only reveal it to anyone if she were in a close enough relationship. So, you gotta wait. I did write a start to that fic and referenced her home life..., but I will eventually put all my little FuzzyNight fics on AO3 so they are better organized.

As for a reference:

That first one is by me. The next two were commissioned from @tamagoneko and the last one was commissioned from @skeleplatypus

[scienter]

Wind and Truth Chapters 16, 17, and 18

We got 3 chapters and zero Kaladin povs. 🙁

I can't complain though because we finally got confirmation about a fandom theory about the Shard of Honor. 😁

CHAPTER 16

“You guys were… watching?” she asked the creationspren. “Shallan! Shallan! Shallan!” Well, nice to have a cheering section, she supposed. She looked up and found Pattern dimpling the stone of the wall.

Reminds me of when Kaladin chided Syl for watching people have sex in Oathbringer. “And stop spying on people when they’re being intimate. It’s creepy. . . He tried - unsuccessfully – to banish the image of lying in bed with a woman, Syl sitting on the headboard and shouting out encouragement and advice . . .”

The difference between Shallan and Kaladin’s reactions to this scenario is revealing. Shallan is nonchalant while Kaladin is creeped out. lol

“Don’t say it,” she told him, climbing to her feet. “What?” he said. “It’s absolutely allowed, even encouraged now.”

NO MATING. Another great Oathbringer callback.

A note at the bottom said, Looks like Iyatil has called in offworlder reinforcements. Watch them. They’re dangerous. “Fortunately, Shallan has a plan. We’re going to form a strike team.”

Ohhh. I'm looking forward to this plotline.

“Yeah, but you heard what Stormblessed did,” Red said, standing up and holding out his arms. “He can share his armor! Make it swoop in and protect people! I’ve always wanted Plate. Can I borrow it, Shallan?” She hesitated. She’d… only just earned it. Darcira tapped her sketchpad. “It would be good to know if that works, Brightness.” A reasonable point. Storming former ardent and her scientific mind. “Fine,” Shallan said. “How do I do it?” “It seems like it just kind of worked for Kaladin,” Red said. “Everyone’s talking about it,” Darcira said. “Kaladin flew around. You know, like they do. And his armor—made of windspren—swept here and there, enveloping other soldiers when needed.” “Storming lordship bridgeman,” Gaz muttered, “and his storming heroism.” They glanced at him. “He does it just to make me feel bad,” Gaz said. “He acts like a hero,” Red said, amused, “because it annoys you. Really.” “Yup,” Gaz said. “Everyone should be grateful to me. If I hadn’t shown those bridgemen tough love, they would never have grown up to be such nauseating paragons of self-righteousness.” “Weren’t you crying the other month,” Red said, “because of what you did to them?” “I was drunk,” Gaz said. “You can’t trust a man when he’s drunk. He’ll accidentally say things he ain’t ready to say yet. Anyway, weren’t we going to try out that armor?”

So many things going on here.

I’ve wondered whether Kaladin using the shardplate to protect others was limited to the Windrunners or if all orders could use the plate this way. It appears that this is unique to the Windrunners. So, does each order use shardplate according to their ideals?

Again, Kaladin intuitively knew how to use shardplate while Shallan had to learn by trial and error how to use it. Interesting contrast. Maybe it’s because Kaladin was a soldier?

Gaz is still bitter and petty about Kaladin’s heroism. 😂😏 He’s such a small man. I was surprised to read that he cried about the way he treated the bridgeman. Makes sense though. Gaz's bitterness is probably a defense mechanism to assauge his envy or guilt.

Shallan’s possessiveness over her shardplate is an interesting contrast to Kaladin. Kaladin didn’t hesitate to use it to protect others. I guess that’s meant to highlight the difference between the orders (or Kaladin and Shallan).  

“We’re going to do something they don’t think is possible: we’re going to steal those secrets.”

Shallan probably will succeed in stealing some of his secrets, but Kelsier is the master secret keeper.

This is going to be interesting. I wonder if Shallan will discover who Thaidakar is and why he’s such a bfd in the cosmere.

“I remember you,” he said. “I know. You wrote it in your book. I take great pains to remain secret, Dalinar, and you just vomited it all up on a page.” She shook her head.

I love her. Can we have more of her?

I am Unity. “Once,” Dalinar said softly. “I have once as well,” she said. “One time, other than when you faced him. It is deep in the past.” She idly held up her hand, lifespren swirling and playing around it. “You need to take a journey, Dalinar Kholin. A dangerous one, but the path to defeating Odium is not through your powers alone. It is through understanding. You need to see the history of this world, live it.” “Visions?” he asked. “Like I’ve seen before?” “Greater,” she said. “Where is Honor?” “Dead.” “Tanavast—the Vessel that once held Honor—is dead, but the power remains. Somewhere. It’s a conundrum that few scholars even know to ponder upon. None know what became of Honor’s power. Have you any guesses?” “It’s the spren, maybe,” Dalinar said. “Some say that Honor was Splintered by Odium when he killed Tanavast—as he did to others before—becoming the spren, as the power of a god left alone will begin to think.” She shook her head. “But they’re wrong. The spren existed before Tanavast’s death. They are of him, but are not the core of his power. It still exists.” She looked him in the eyes. “It is the power and substance of the visions you were shown, starting years ago. It seeks for men to see their heritage, as it searches for a new Vessel to hold it.” “Wait,” Dalinar said, a cold shock starting at the base of his skull and washing through him, making him grip the banister. “Wait. What are you saying? That… someone could…?”

OMG!! OUR THEORIES ABOUT SOMEONE TAKING UP/REFORGING THE SHARD OF HONOR ARE CORRECT!

Unite Them.

I've been dying for answers to this since Oathbrigner.

What did it mean? Was Dalinar supposed to unite The Knights Radiant? Unite the nations of Roshar? Or unite the splinters of Honor?

Still, what is Dalinar supposed to unite? Is he supposed to unite the splintered Shard of Honor and make it whole again? Or is he supposed to unite the Shard of Honor with the new vessel? Maybe both?

And who’s going to become Honor’s new vessel?

The two obvious candidates for Honor's new vessel are Dalinar and Kaladin because they both embody the shard's intent.

I think Kaladin will become Honor's new vessel for a couple of reasons.

1. The Stormfather calls Kaladin "Son of Tanavast"

2. Wit said Kaladin has a “divine destiny”

3. The epigraphs said that the contest in Shiovar is more vital than the contest of champions

4. Kaladin said goodbye to everyone because he didn’t expect to see them again

All signs point to Something Big happening with Kaladin.

While Brandon planted a few death flags for Kaladin I think they're a misdirection. Yes, Kaladin's body may die, but his soul - his spirit - will live on because he'll Ascend either as a Herald or Honor. (This is basically the story of Fleet, which has long been theorized as foreshadowing Kaladin's story.)

BTW - Is reforging the Shard of Honor / Ascension related to the “He must pick it up, the fallen title! The tower, the crown, and the spear!” death rattle? 🤔

“I have my own battles,” she said, turning to trail away.

What battles? Some wider Cosmere problem involving the other shards (perhaps Autonomy)?  

“I cannot fight yours, but you now know where the power hides. Seek the Spiritual Realm, where gods dwell. You have the ability to get there, perhaps even the ability to return. There you will receive the final truths of the Heralds, the Radiants, and Honor himself. Go and seek it, Dalinar Kholin, if you would finish this journey.”

I am SO looking forward to Dalinar’s story in this book. It’s a long time coming.

CHAPTER 17 & 18

Colot took a deep breath. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll find my way up once the important people are taken care of.” “Nah, you’re coming with me,” Adolin said, pulling him out of the line.

Anyone else get Edgedancer vibes? 🤨

Silence. Eyes condemning. This is what you deserve, Father, Adolin thought, feeling the room turn—like spears lowered at a captured enemy—against Dalinar. You always barrel forward. Doing whatever you want. Consequences be storming damned. Like you did years ago, killing my mother. And you never bothered to tell me. You—

Translation:

If Adolin doesn’t confront Dalinar about his killing Evi in this book I’m going to riot. I need to see them have it out. It's too big to ignore.

“Yes,” Wit said. “And that’s why I’m an idiot. Not because I missed the intricacies of the legal code—but because this isn’t something that Rayse could ever do. It’s not only against his nature, it’s something he promised he would not do. Even without a formal covenant, a god cannot break that kind of promise without dire consequences.” “So… what?” Dalinar said. “I’m missing something.” “As are we all,” Wit said with a sigh. “Odium is exploiting a loophole in your agreement. Rayse wouldn’t do that. Rayse couldn’t do that. So…” He looked around the room, meeting their eyes. “So we are not facing Rayse. My old enemy must be dead, and someone else has taken up the Shard of Odium. I should have seen it the moment he started acting so oddly, but now I’ve confirmed it by sensing the rhythms of Roshar. My friends, we are facing an enemy we do not know and cannot anticipate. And whoever it is, they’re a genius—one who has devised a ploy to conquer all of Roshar in ten days.”

Finally! Wit’s starting to put two and two together. How long before someone figures out Taravagian is Odium now?

[vikki-the-critter]

I'm so happy to see so much Roman crit bc for some reason he's always been a fan favorite alongside Virgil (and honestly I can't stand either of them lol) but I'm even happier about the Patton defense!! It feels like the fans blame him for anything happening ever. They're just biased imo bc I can tell you FOR SURE that if it wasn't for c!Thomas' Christian background being connected to Patton's character, ppl wouldn't be so hard on him. At least I don't remember half the fandom demonizing him in the earlier days of the show. Anyway thanks for the cool posts <3

Yeah, haha. I do love Roman (and Virgil) but he gets basically zero criticism. Not just in fanon, but in canon, too. I don't think he'd be half as annoying if he got called out/suffered consequences for his actions. The only time Roman's made a meaningful sacrifice is SvS, and it was basically turned into a bad thing in SvSr. (Which is mostly c!Thomas' fault, and I will always stand by this. I should start posting c!Thomas crit, there's not nearly enough of it, haha)

Roman in SvS: I think we should go to the wedding, and that's my decision, because I don't want to be deceitful.

Roman in SvSr: I made a bad choice to go to the wedding, except no, I didn't, it was Patton's fault, actually. In fact, I'm going to blame Patton more than Janus, and then get mad when Patton (somewhat rightfully) won't defend me against him.

H U H

The fandom: Roman is right.

H U H

I could bitch about SvSr for a while, and I probably will, but that's for another time.

But, yeah, Patton. He gets way too much hate, and I think that's in part, because of his stans. All the sides have toxic stans, but I think Patton's might be the most vocal. I'm not 100% sure, though, Virgil stans might be louder. I know annoying/aggressive stans can ruin a character for people. Not to say that's the only valid reason to dislike him, there are plenty of valid reasons. However, I think those reasons are overblown sometimes. Patton can be pushy, but so can the other sides. I'd say the others are pushier, actually.

When Patton doesn't want to do something, the others (including c!Thomas) will push and push until he gives in, because they know he'll give in.

They know Patton is soft in the heart. They know Patton wants to make Thomas and others happy. They know Patton is holding back, because he's the peace-keeper and has "real" thoughts on things that he's not saying. And, yet, Patton is seen as the pushy one in the fandom (and canon), because he *checks notes* has strong opinions about his role/function and stands up for them passionately. Gee, that doesn't sound like the other sides at all. The other sides totally don't fight for their opinion to an almost annoying and overbearing degree. Only Patton does that. Yep. (sarcasm)

I think Virgil might be the worst with pushiness, actually, but he's the fandom baby, so he's never called out for it.

If I had to guess, Patton gets more heat for pushiness, because he's often not aligned with what the audience wants. In SvS, Thomas and Roman wanted to go to the callback, so the audience also wanted that. And Patton wanted to go to the wedding, so, the audience was against him. At least, that's what I think based on fandom reception to SvS, SvSr, and other episodes. I actually think the audience was originally supposed to side with Patton, but when they didn't, Thomas acted like the intention was for us to side with him and Roman.

I digress.

The fandom is 100% biased, haha. Which, is understandable, to a degree. The fandom is pretty queer, and a lot of queer people have religious trauma. So, I understand being uncomfortable with a character tied to religion. The problem is the hypocrisy. All of Thomas characters are tied to religion, because Thomas (the character and the real man) is tied to religion. Thomas was raised Catholic, and that comes up in certain episodes. And, the funny thing is, most of the time, it's not Patton bringing it up.

It's usually someone using religion against him or using it to reason with him. But, Patton's not forcing it on anyone. To be fair, religion is part of why Patton's being too strict in DWIT, but it's not the main driving force. Patton might be the most religious side, but his actual philosophy seems closer to "do no harm, take no shit", or at least it used to be, before he was convinced he was the bad guy. There's so much to say about how much and the way Patton's character has changed, but most of it is heartbreaking. I might write that someday, but not today, haha.

But, I'd also like to add that the bias against Patton probably also comes from him being straight passing and him being the Dad Character™.

Patton isn't all that visibly queer, so I think that makes it harder for visibly queer fanders to relate to him. Unlike Virgil and Roman, who are not only more visibly queer, but much more vocally queer.

I wouldn't say Patton is shy with his way of showing queerness or anything, but I don't think it's as inviting or digestible to young queers watching the show as the other sides' are. Logan was also a victim of this for a while, until the orange side stuff started happening, then he was woobified to the moon and back. But, that should also be its own post. My main point being, it's a lot harder for people to sympathize with someone they relate very little to. In fact, the harder it is to relate to someone, the easier it is to villainize them.

Then there's the thing that Patton might remind fanders of their Dad From Real Life and hold that against him. Which is understandable. Emotions are valid, and there's nothing wrong with using characters to vent/cope. But, it becomes a problem when people are blind to how the characters actually act. When people act like their emotions are canon characterization and hate on anyone who knows canon. That's unfair to the character and, more importantly, the real people just trying to talk about the character.

I can't tell you how many times I've tried to have a discussion about a character, that ended up fruitless, because the person I was talking to was mad at Someone From Real Life. It's exhausting. And, again, emotions are valid, but sometimes we have to put our emotions to the side and look at the character's actual actions. Easier said than done, I know. Ironic to say that when talking about the character that is technically in charge of Thomas' feelings, haha. Which, again, should be its own post, because I kind of hate that.

It's not fair that one side is in charge of Thomas' feelings, especially, since the sides have their own feelings. Feelings that Patton is supposed to take care off, too, apparently. Patton has way too much weight put on him, and the others basically outright refuse to alleviate any of that weight.

Anyway, thank you for the nice ask. Feel free to send more, I love answering them. As you can probably tell from how long this post is, haha.

[nexttoyouliam]

I am very interested in knowing more about your footballers AU :)

anon!! i am so incredibly flattered by your interest?? didn’t reckon anyone was paying any mind to my tags so this was a lovely surprise to find in my inbox ahdjajdjadj

i’m going to put the rest of my reply below:

in this au, liam plays centreback for spurs, whilst zayn’s arsenal’s best striker (and well on his way to becoming one of the club’s top ten all time record goalscorers). if you watch premier league football, you’ll know that arsenal and tottenham have an incredibly fierce, longstanding rivalry called the north london derby, as they’re both clubs based in north london.

now, given that they play for opposing clubs and are often directly in each other’s way (per the nature of their respective positions), zayn and liam have their own personal rivalry that extends outside of football—dissing each other in post-match interviews, subtweeting, liking shady posts about each other, etc.—but that all comes to a head when they’re both selected to represent england in the euros, along with louis (centre mid for united) and harry (starting keeper for chelsea). at first they’re very much reluctant to work with each other (it’s difficult putting aside all those years of contention), and their first few friendlies end in draws and even some embarrassing losses, but once the euros begin in earnest and england get through the group stage, and the round of sixteen, and then quarters/semis/etc., zayn and liam begin to realise that they don’t really dislike each other—far from it, actually—and things heat up between them…

anyway, that’s more or less all i remember about this au (sorry!). when i was thinking this up like ten years ago (i can’t believe i’ve just said that, what is time?), i had like 40 or 50k already written but that’s pretty much all lost now—i reckon the original draft’s saved on my old laptop, but i haven’t seen that thing since like 2018 (pretty sure it’s lost somewhere in my parents’ house, alas). i have thought about rewriting it since returning to the fandom, but i’ve already got my hands full with three other wips (including a ~30k soulmate au that i’m really trying to finish before i leave for paris in a few weeks), not to mention that work has been putting me through hell. who knows, though, maybe after my trip i’ll have a proper sit down and get this au sorted. we’ll just have to see!

[osaemu]

Spread love to fanfic writers! Answer these questions about your fanfics then send this to 5 other fanfic writers Name a fic you loved writing the most. Name a fic that others loved but you didn’t care for as much. Name a fic you had the most fun writing. Name a fic that you are the most proud of. Name a fic that you wish had gotten more recognition. Name your happiest/saddest/most comedic fics!

thank you anon !! this was fun to to do, hmm... 🤍

a fic i loved writing: finders keepers, losers weepers!

this one was fun to write because i really liked the concept, but i don't think i executed it that well :,)

a fic others loved but i didn't care for: can i put you on hold?

i only posted this one bc i felt bad for not posting in a while, idk why people liked it so much.. i misspelled "another" in it too and didn't realize until it had 10K+ likes, so that was embarrassing too lol

honorable mention: THIS one. i hate this one with a burning passion

a fic i had fun writing: snowflakes in my stomach when we kissin'

i wrote this all in one sitting bc it was just so fun writing all the scenes! well, all the scenes but the smut one, which i only wrote halfheartedly bc it was in my outline, but besides that, this one was super fun to write.

a fic i wish got more recognition: in sickness and in health

honestly i'm fine with the amount of interactions this one got (considering death note is a smaller tumblr fandom than the ones i usually write for), but i wanted to mention this one anyways

my happiest fic: yes, i have a girlfriend, and yes, she's real!

actually, my happiest fic is one that i posted once and took down bc it didn't show up on the tags. it was one where gojo proposes to reader, but it never stayed up for long :,) a couple people got to read it though, so i guess it's for their eyes only now!

my saddest fic: is it over now?

i've written sad/angsty fics before but.. personally i never get emotionally affected by them so.. i just picked the one ppl said they cried over for this category lol

my funniest fic: "you're pregnant?!"

my funniest fic would actually be a tie between the first streamer!gojo and the christmas geto fic, but i already mentioned those. this one isn't that funny imo but you guys liked it so :,)

[notherdeadrobin]

20 Questions for Fic Writers!

Tagged by @itsfirecat and @thesandsofelsweyr (tagged me via @thejasonandsladeagenda)

How many works do you have on AO3? 58!

What’s your total A03 word count? 257,825

What fandoms do you write for? Uhhhh DC and DC and DC lol

What are your top five fics by kudos?

✧ By Any Other Name (my first fic!) 1,056 Kudos ✧

This started from a short and sweet idea of "what happens when Jason realizes he uses the same nickname for Slade and Bruce?" I thought it'd be a dirty crack-fic one-shot, but now it's turning into an actual JaySlade getting together story, featuring some batfam feels, too. Also, Slade ambushes Jason on a rooftop and turns him into a hot mess, so that's pretty great too.

✧ Warmth 729 Kudos ✧

When Batman sliced Jason's neck open and left him for dead, Slade Wilson pulled him from the wreckage to patch up Jason's injury and his life. Jason doesn't understand why Deathstroke even bothers with him, but he's going to enjoy someone giving a damn about him while it lasts. He just wants to belong to a pack again.

✧ The Last Cookie 568 Kudos ✧

In the background of the Wayne Family Adventures webcomic, Jason Todd is hooking up with Slade Wilson. It's fact. Their growing relationship is all there in the subtext (if you squint hard enough, and make some wild guesses), and this fic illuminates the details of the story unfolding right under the Wayne Family's noses. Aka the fic where the Lazarus Pit left Jason stuck with raging hormones, and Slade's the only one who can satisfy him

✧ Two Raging Fires Meet 551 Kudos ✧

Slade takes Jason on one of his jobs to get them away from the overbearing bats. All is well for awhile, but then Slade does a classically terrible job of handling his feelings, forcing Jason to remind Slade that he's a badass vigilante who doesn't need Slade to be his keeper. Featuring Jason being soft, smart, and capable - Slade being a bit of a dumbass - and sex

✧ Parking 550 Kudos ✧

When Batman catches Jason stealing the tires off the Batmobile, Jason tries to make it up to him in the only way he knows how, but Batman isn't biting

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I have so many unreplied to comments right now and I'm so so sorry about that. I go on spurts where I'll get the number down lower, and then it'll get out of control again. I think responding is important because I know how much it means to me when people comment on my fic, and I don't want them to feel like their lovely words are going unread and unappreciated <3

What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I don't think anything I've written would qualify for an angsty ending lol, but I rather like this one, and it's more bittersweet, at least? Living in the Moment

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Sanctuary has the softest ending (it's also one of my personal favorites ^.^)

Do you get hate on your fic? Not really, no. Or, not that I've seen, anyway/

Do you write smut? Alllll the time. SO much smut. Everywhere. 4 of those top 5 are E-rated. I think I write too much smut tbh lmaooo

Do you write crossovers? I've written two! Crossovers aren't really a default thought of mine, though.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Man, I hope not

Have you ever had a fic translated? Nah. Someone did ask me, once, and I was honored to be asked, but I have weird feelings about my fic being out there on an account I have no control over.

Have you ever co-written a fic? Nah, though I'd like to give it a try ^.^ so many talented writer friends

What‘s your all-time favourite ship? Oh geez...so hard to say... I guess Jason Todd/Slade Wilson XD

What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Aha the first series I ever started, but that's mainly because it's not meant to be a completed storyline, more so slices of life together. I have like, at least 10 ideas for future fics for that one.

What’s your writing strengths? I think I'm good at emotional smut, and a commenter called me "witty" recently, so that too? I'd like to be witty

What’s your writing weaknesses? finishing WIPs. Though I've already decided in advance that this next year is about finishing things. I won't let myself get distracted by prompt events or BINGO cards. I'll be all about adding more to the series I've started (hopefully finishing a couple), finishing longfics, and also working on bigger ideas that I've let fall to the wayside.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I think it's fine if it's done well and respectfully. And it is useful in situations where you want the reader to be able to translate something if they want, but you still don't want the POV Character to know what's being said.

First fandom you wrote for? Harry Potter. If anyone out there used to be in the group of people who wrote Marauders Era Fanfic with OFC/Sirius Black on Quizazz (now quotev) over a decade ago, hmu

Favourite fic you’ve ever written? Last time I picked something else.... but I'm watching Bridgerton rn so I'll have to go with Moonlight Symphony <3

[overlyimmersed]

So, about my AU... Lets do this a little differently this time...

So, in light of having to rewrite my entire AU almost from scratch, I've decided I'll post parts of the timeline in chunks by season of the show as I get them rewritten. Maybe that'll make it a little more digestible over all, though it'll still be compiled on timeline page, of course.

So I guess I should probably talk a little bit about this AU, actually. I haven't really said much. That's kinda just how things have always been before. I just kind of toss the information into the void and hope someone finds it. But this fandom, this community, it's different. There's a lot more...talking, then other fandoms I've been in. So lets talk.

I suppose we'll start with the name? Some of you may have seen me use it a few times. Years ago I got into the habit of using alphanumeric designations for my AUs, mainly as shorthand to help me keep track of the media the au is from, how it's altered from canon and what year I started it in, to help me keep track of time. Though this AU lacks the dating component...which was not a great idea on my part... that's a flaw that came about form my previous hyperfixation. I created too many AUs for that one, which I usually don't, so I started using a symbol system as a subcategory and it fricked the whole system...

ANYWAY

This AU is designated "SDS-RBF-215*" SDS = Seven Deadly Sins, RBF = Reborn Fairy, and 215 is my numeric signature. The asterisk is from the symbol system mentioned above. Which is technically necessary, as I do have off-shoot AUs from this primary one. But those are private cuz they're dumb...

So I suppose if this AU were going to have a title rather than a designation it would be "Reborn Fairy".

It's called that because the POV character, a self-insert OC, is reincarnated from another universe.

And on that note I'd like the record to show that I made this choice before I knew about Elizabeth. Reincarnation is one of my most used tropes. I'd also like to mention that I didn't know the word "isekai" until very recently...

So besides this new MC, what exactly is different between this AU and canon?

Well, not including the story consequences of the MC's existence, I did add some lore and stuff. Primarily the concept of "The Bard to the Fairy King"

Each Fairy King has had a bard alongside him to serve as a history keeper, moral guide, and any other role the Fairy King requires. These bards are always born in the Fairy King's Forest, rather than in the Fairy Realm proper like other fairies. The primary mission of The Bard to The Fairy King- or Fairy King’s Bard, sometimes shortened to just Fairy Bard- is to keep the history of the Fairy Race. They write books, tell stories, sing songs and create works of art keeping track of history as it passes. Like how each Fairy King has the magical ability “Disaster”, Fairy Bards always have “Starlight” giving them a flawless memory and the ability to generate and manipulate silvery light. It's primarily used to project records of memories, though it can be used offensively if needed. They also share a single special technique that’s passed from one to the next, a song called “Song of the Fairy King” which will increase the Fairy King’s power in an act of desperation. It can also be used to save the Fairy King’s life if need be. The use of this spell expends the Bard’s life force, and thus can only be used once. So the Bard must act wisely. As time went on and more unfortunate events tarnished Fairy history, the Bards became more and more high strung and anxious, plagued by their perfect recall of tragic and violent events. Fairy Bards Morvydd - The Bard to Fairy King Gloxinia. Primarily a poet. She, and her twin brother Owain, were killed in the raid on Stigma headquarters during the first Holy War. Camellia - The Bard to Fairy King Dahlia. Primarily a dancer. When Dahlia disappeared, Camellia went with him, at some point she used “Song of the Fairy King” to save Dahlia’s life. Maranwe - The Bard to Fairy King Harlequin. Primarily a harpist. A very unusual fairy with a complicated history. She left with a group of other fairies to meet with humans and was thought dead for 700 years before she, along with her missing Fairy King, returned just before the second Holy War. 

I've also applied my various headcanons, of course. Which can be read here. I'm not going to list them on this post cuz I don't want to have keep more than one post updated everytime I add a headcanon. The one linked will always be kept up-to-date.

[raineydaywrites]

20 Questions for fic writers

Tagged by @barry-j-blupjeans (thank you!!!)

tagging @sgrumby and anyone who wants to play!!

1. How many works do you have on A03?

132

2. What's your total A03 word count?

568,150! half a million!!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mainly TAZ Balance and Star Wars (Prequels/TCW era, mostly), but I've written a fair amount for Star Trek: Deep Space Nine in the past, and I'll sometimes write a fic here or there for other fandoms.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

They're all Star Wars fics, which makes sense but makes me kind of sad because I love my other fics too. But oh well:

still much that is fair.

Obi-Wan Kenobi, The Jedi Code, and Other Things That Anakin Has Misunderstood

Take Two

brothers don't let each other wander in the dark alone

growing season (absolutely BLEW MY MIND that this one is in my top five now. It's a one-shot kidfic for a pairing I don't write often?? I'm not used to those getting notes. But I guess it is the Codywan era for prequels fans so I can see where it's coming from.)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! But sometimes I don't have the spoons for it. But I love getting comments and want to show my appreciation!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't usually write super angsty endings! I don't like them. Or, well, actually I do enjoy them sometimes, but IDK, if I'm writing a whole-ass fic, I usually want to make the ending happy!

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending

still much that is fair! which is wild because it has one of the angstiest premises I've ever written (suicide attempt that all loved ones believed to be successful, ends with characters giving each other hugs and 'love yous' and closure)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Rarely. Every once in a while. Sometimes people don't like me writing autistic headcanons or characters mentioning pronouns.

9. Do you write smut?

No. I'm not opposed to it in fic, but it doesn't interest me.

10. Do you write crossovers?

No, but I'll read them sometimes. I'm not opposed to writing them, but I've never really gotten an idea for one that inspires me.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of! I did once have someone warn me that my fic was 're-posted' to ao3 back in the days when I was still posting on both ffnet and ao3 with different usernames.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, actually, though I forgot about it until asked! It's not one I ever posted. I co-wrote a Maximum Ride fic with a friend in middle school, lol. But I'd love to co-write again in the future! It's fun to talk about ideas with friends.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

All-time favorite ship is SO hard for me because I'm a multishipper and I flipflop fandoms a lot, so I kind of default to my first (and still beloved) ship: Janeway/Chakotay from Star Trek: Voyager. I'm also gonna answer for my two main fandoms atm: Star Wars is Obi-Wan/Satine and TAZ Balance is Barry Bluejeans/Lup/Lucretia, because I love a good polycule. Also Barry and Lup on their own are great but they remind me too much of my parents to really go wild over them.

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Be My Brother's Keeper. A Darcy Lewis is Tony Stark's daughter AU. I love that one and I had PLANS for it, but my Marvel days are so long gone.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm good at coming up with creative, unique ideas and making them work!! People often say that they didn't expect to like my fics from the premise but enjoyed them anyway. :3 I'm also good at character interactions and emotions

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Describing things, mainly visual things that are happening. They're just there, in the fanfic, not in a physical location to me. Also staying motivated to finish writing and avoiding derailing my own ideas with wanting to include EVERYTHING.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I haven't done it before but I'm not opposed!

19. fandom you wrote for?

Like, first fandom? Nancy Drew. I wrote a Nancy Drew fanfic when I was eight years old on looseleaf notebook paper, before I knew that anyone else wrote fanfic. In it, Nancy fell down a hole, broke her leg, everyone who loved her thought she was dead and they were all soso sad, but then they found her and it ended happily. My tastes have not evolved much since, but my writing ability has!

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Changes often! Currently it is The Parent Trap(ped in an Umbrella) but I'm also quite fond of Still Much That Is Fair and one more last try, I'm gonna get the ending right.

[bookwyrminspiration]

(warning: this is... long. i had to put post dividers on this to make it readable. i would have put a read more but i can't in an ask, sorry.)

i think the most puzzling thing of all about this drama is that like.... i've been doing this forever. i've been posting keefe/fintan stuff (not regularly, but still!) since at least feb 2022 on the dolentsnows account. hell, i KNOW i've even talked about tam/linh specifically before then, though i can't remember if it was public or not.

and there was no problem! people just blocked each other and filtered and it was fine!

i'm frankly just. SO confused as to why that post of all things is what set it off. like guys. what.

also, re: "it normalizes pedophilia/incest/abuse/whatever" my posts get like ten notes max, most of those being likes from my dear mutuals who dont necessarily love the stuff i do but still wanna show they support me anyway.

if you'd just think for a minute, i think it's pretty easy to see that no one's gonna be converted into a sex freak any time soon.

and the fact that people are calling me a pedophile for... *checks notes* writing about characters that are the same age as i am or older in relationships with adults is. something. especially considering that:

in all the ACTUAL content i've made, excluding ONE post about alvar being keefe's gay awakening, the characters have been over the legal age in france (my country), so even the "it's illegal" argument falls apart.

why do you immediately assume i'm imagining myself to be the adult here? you don't know what's going on in my life. you don't know my reasons for doing what i do. i started shipping those kinds of ships ever since i was a pretty young kid, and i don't have to explain myself to anyone. (note: i am not a victim of csa, just want to make that clear. i've got other shit going on. but also you guys don't actually care about survivors and it's obvious.)

and fun fact: incest is legal in france as well, as long as it's between two consenting adults. i have decided, right now, effective immediately, that linh and tam are both over 18 in those drawings. since it's legal it means there's no problem right?

all this to say, let's just drop the whole "legal = moral, illegal = immoral" train of thought right here.

i do have one thing to apologize for, though: i didn't properly tag the first post. that has since been rectified and i've added community labels for good measure. i have and will apologize again for that mistake because it was entirely on me. i'm genuinely sorry to the people who saw that with no warning and i won't make that mistake again going forward.

but i also know that there are people who clicked on some of my posts even after i added the community labels and then complained (in my ask box, no less!) and to those i say: just read the tags, guys. they're still visible even with the community labels hiding the post.

sorry for the angry tone, but i am kind of miffed about all this. mostly that it turned into such a big deal when it really didn't have to be.

to conclude: stay strong out there guys, hopefully modern fandom will develop basic internet skills one day.

No worries about the length or tone, you're good.

I believe the reason that one post sparked issue is because, I don't know if you're aware, there's actually been a pretty significant surge in new fans in the past few months following info about Unraveled.

So while you have been here and posting your stuff for a while, for a good chunk of the currently active people, I think that was their first time seeing you. And also possibly one of their first times seeing art/ships like that up close, since keeper tends to be a first/earlier fandom.

Hence the stronger reaction. Though I don't think it's fair to blanket statement say they don't care about survivors. That's the sort of strawmanning/ad hominem talk that leads to shutting down/self-defense that doesn't get us anywhere. We can all rise above logicial fallacies <3

But anyway, the worst seems to have passed, unless we all feel like regressing for some reason :)

[autobot-ratchet]

earthspark episode 8!

RAVAGE???? I guess Soundwave ain't too far behind lmAO I know he's in this, I just didn't know he'd be here so soon

okay so it was Rumble who exploded lmaO and I see we're going with "Rumble is red, Frenzy is blue" like god intended. glad to see it

"I miss adults" me when I spend too much time on twitter. mildly unrelated but I have a bluesky account lmfAO I should officially link that here one of these days

HAH Mo's got connections, you wouldn't get it Robby 💅 that's so fuckin funny lmAO

ARCEEEEEEEE HEY GIRL

she's gonna destroy the entire house and everything in its vicinity lmAO

those were the gasps of two kids who know their mom's gonna fucking flip when she sees what Arcee did to the lawn

it's interesting that we're not going full divorce arc with Optimus and Megatron but we are still giving them ideological differences. and it's honestly very funny how Optimus is being written kind of like IDW Optimus where he's doing his best but his best kinda sucks and everyone's side-eyeing him for it. ngl this Optimus feels like such fandom discourse bait lmfAO god help us if he ever does something definitively bad

poor Bee, he wanted to be around fellow adults but his fellow adults are just discoursing at each other, I fuckin feel you bud

"you seem different in the comics" lmfAO GOD

aww hell yeah that's good advice Arcee. ngl I was a little scared that she was gonna be a jerk, she got me good by pretending to be mad at them backtalking her but it's good, we're good lmAO

the girls are fightiiinnngggggg Megatron's right though

YOOOOO IT'S SOUNDWAVE

ooh interesting, he can just disable those clamp things

ghfdsjk *points at Megatron* ha ha you got Bee's dumb song stuck in your head, experience whimsy idiot

damn I already knew Soundwave looked like that in this show but. why'd they make him look like that, who on the design team is a boombox fucker lmAO

"Do not make this personal, Soundwave!" "It already is."

I'm so glad Arcee's here lmAO I love her

omg their dumb little song is getting in everyone's head lmAO

"what even is a cassette anyway?" boy shut the hell up lmfAO y'all just HAD to write that in the script huh, you just had to make me feel like the crypt keeper, couldn't just let me live

hjdfks I was gonna make a joke about Optimus assigning Bee homework but Arcee did it for me

interesting, the cassettes are going their separate ways

oHO??? OOOH SNEAKY

BITCH

[subway-boss-jericho]

Hey all! Announcement stuff!

Thank you to everyone who has been very patient with me. I swear to god i could turn into one of those Ao3 authors thats like "hahaha sorry i havent updated in so long i died and then came back to life and then i had to work 7 jobs" and im being so fucking brave about it!! ANYWAYS THATS NOT WHAT THIS IS ABOUT!

Tomorrow is the 1 Year anniversary of steady tracks chapter 1! 🥳(and also my birthday. yes that was on purpose)

So! I wanted to give you all some updates and stuff to look forward to because oh god it sure has been an entire fucking year since I uploaded stuff and I refuse to feel bad about it but my brain is trying so hard to make me! I am working on chapter 2. Progress has been terribly slow because of severe life events, thank you for your understanding.

So!! What's next? Well, over the summer I am really fucking hoping to finish chapter 2. I know I keep saying this but literally i stg. I'm going apeshit. do you know how hard it is to think about something for an entire year and never have the time, motivation, or energy at the same time to make it exist?? fucked up!! Before that though, I have a few things.

I TOLD you all that I would talk about an AU of mine, whichever was highest voted in that strawpoll I did, and then surprise i fuckin didnt do that. I would very very much like to do that! The problem, I realized, is that I operate super hard on a reactionary basis so I am not prone to talking about anything that is mine until prompted about it or given permission. Fucking, Wack. This is my house. I should be cringe and free but nooooo. Anyways, because of this, I am planning on doing 2 things -> Actually tell you guys about spirit keeper! You all voted for him back when, and especially with that ✨Fucking, Gorgeous✨ commission from Fronomeeps I got (for me birthday :]) I really really really want to do that. And post my art more. and shit like that. seriously i need to get out of my head or I'll explode. someone needs to scream about how cool these stories are with me or I'll dissolve. -> I am thinking of doing a day long event where I stream an Aggie/(Magma?) where I draw my AUs and let people hop in to join in (as long as it stays on topic!) as well as answering as many asks as I can about my many aus and basically setting you guys up to trick me into infodumping. Because let me tell you i have a year and a halfs worth of words in my head and i am 100% confident ingo and emmet enjoyers would really like to hear them. So I wanna do a big ask party Q&A and really get things rolling!! Hopefully with drawings and doodles involved! as a celebration for myself, and as a way to open up to the greater fandom (Please leave a comment if you think that sounds cool, I'm trying to gauge interest because if i went all out and no one showed up it would be Extremely Depressing!)

ON! THAT! TOPIC!!! I am actively (literally interspersed with as I am typing this) making a UQUIZ about all of my significant AUs. For the record, there are 23 results on this quiz. I currently only have 3/23 final results completed, but it is my active focus over the weekend to finish as many of those as I can to try and complete the entire thing within a week or less. Also poking at my phrasing here, when I say my significant aus I Mean It, I have more than 23, but these 23 are the ones with stories tangible enough to start somewhere and elaborate on. I have about 10 that I would consider my main AUs, but some of the smaller ones are huge sleeper favorites.

SO YEAH!!! PLEASE LOOK FORWARD TO THAT AND LET ME KNOW IF YOU'RE INTERESTED!! I really wanna do fun stuff and get to know people in the fandom more than just. that person who wrote 1 chapter of a cool fic that one time. I have so much more to offer and I struggle so much to offer it. Please draw me out of my shell, I wish to enter the fandom sphere 🥺

thank you for giving me a great year <3 ((and hopefully the next one will be better <3))

[king-paimon]

Houseki no Kuni Thoughts: The character I can’t hate

Hi everyone. It’s been a while and after learning that Houseki no Kuni is coming back in just a matter of days, I figured now was the time to finally post this. I’ve wanted to write this for a long time and certain events in my life has compelled me to add more but not want to post at the same time, if that makes sense.

This post is sort of an analysis on a certain character from the series that I surprisingly have a lot in common with. Though I think that goes without saying that many people in the fandom, including myself, can find themselves within the different characters, especially Phos. I think that’s one of the reasons why we care so much about them and want the best for them.

But like I said, for me there’s another character that I found myself connecting with more. A character who changed so drastically that it felt like whiplash for readers and the characters in the story. A character who was put in a difficult role by those around them to later gain a new one by someone who claims to care about them more. A character who became a favorite for many, but quickly became the one they detested the most. I’m sure you know who I’m talking about, yes?

Yeah, I’m talking about Cairngorm. 

I’ll do my best to explain myself. This is a long hot take and I’m sorry if anything I say doesn’t make sense; I was literally going through the manga again when rewriting this because I know I didn’t remember everything correctly. Please feel free to say your thoughts about what I write. If this post is too long, I can cut it up if that’s easier for everyone. Or if you believe I need to add some sort of trigger warning, please let me know!

 Anyways, here we go...

Cairngorm: Reluctant Obligations and Purpose

I think many can agree that Phos got the short end of the stick when it comes to their life. Unlike the other gems, they weren’t the strongest and count stick to any of the given tasks that everyone else could do out of disinterest. No wonder most of the other gems pitied or were annoyed or just barely paid any attention to them. It got so bad that Phos was given a relatively meaningless task to do so they can do something instead of laying about. Why do I bring this up? Well, despite the clear negatives that Phos experienced because of this in the first chapters, I’d argue that Phos had it easier than certain gems. Though I don’t think it was truly confirmed, it seems that most if not all of the gems are given specific roles after their inception and were given proper knowledge by Adamant. These are roles that the gems stuck with, even when if they expressed forms of dissatisfaction (ex. Dia or Jade.)  Phos, on the other hand, was allowed to explore. Yes, they got teased or reprimanded for being lazy/causing problems, Phos is still allowed to try different things a lot, something that I don’t believe many of the gems were allowed to do.

And on top of that, because most of the gems didn’t pay too close attention to Phos, this essentially gave Phos free range to do whatever. And if Phos wanted to do certain things, like work with Antarcticite, Adamant just sort of allowed it. In some ways, older Phos had more freedom than most of the gems because of their status among the others. And maybe I’m crazy but it feels like Phos gets forgiven often by Adamant, especially as the series progressed.

Again, why did I bring this up? Cairn. Unlike Phos, it seemed that Cairn didn’t really have much a choice on what they could do after they came to be. When they were forced into existence after Ghost was taken, Cairn was essentially put into the role of being Antarcticite’s replacement for Phos as their partner and “keeper.” Cairn may have acted tough with Phos and was angry about the circumstances, they still took up that role. Whether they did it because wanted to or because they were expected is another thing. To me, Cairn took up this role because they were expected to.

Yes, it has been shown in the manga that Cairn made the choice to take over the winter duties and follow Phos to the moon, even though they didn’t want to. But that’s just it. These decisions Cairn made weren’t compelled by inner desire but because they knew it was for Phos’s sake. To me, these were instances where Cairn actively put their feeling on the side to do what is expected of them. It didn’t matter what they desired or how they felt, they had a role to fulfill no matter what, and it was to be by Phos’s side. It’s all because it was put in their head that they are expected and obligated to do these things by the others, especially Ghost. 

Hell, they were ready to decapitate themselves for Phos after they lost their head because of what Ghost told them. Even though Cairn was stopped, this just shows how far they would go to fulfill this role that they were put into because they were taught/conditioned to do so. I’m now wondering if Adamant would have still stopped Cairn if Lapis’s head wasn’t there.

This is a miserable sense of duty and obligation to others, especially individuals one can see as family. Sadly, this is something that I’m all too familiar with.

Parentification: Do it for your family

(I’m about to get a personal. Read at your own discretion!)

I’ll tell you all just a little bit about myself and I promise this will circle back to what I was talk about. (Though I don’t know if this is triggering but I’ll still add a warning here for people who are sensitive to depressing topics) I come from a relatively big family and I’m the oldest. Ever since I was a child, I was taught that I must fulfill my duties as the oldest child for the sake of my whole family and this was a reality that I accepted. I know not all families are like this with older siblings being expected to take up endless family/community duties, but that’s the case for me. I needed to be the “strong one” for everyone’s sake, even if it meant I needed to sacrifice my happiness and wellbeing, because that was my role. And if I didn’t fulfill my duties because I didn’t want to, according to my father, then I’d be an selfish person who would hurt the family and “god dislikes selfish people.” If I couldn’t fulfill that role well, I’d be a bad role model since according to my father, “all my actions impact on my siblings since they look up to me” and “it’s my responsibility to be the good example for their sake.” Because I didn’t want to be a “bad child” and hurt my family because of my actions, I remember sucking up my grievances and just did what was expected of me and more. Be the pillar and role model that my family can rely on because if I can’t be that for whatever reason... who was I?

That’s why I connected to the character Luisa from Encanto.  Her song “Surface Pressure” made me cry so much the first time I heard it and it’s my favorite Disney song to date. Everything she said in the song perfected how I felt when I was young and now when I’m an adult. I’m happy to say that even before the movie came out, I recognized that some of the things from my childhood weren’t healthy. Things have gotten better for the most part and I thankfully don’t have to fulfill all of the same duties that I had when young but sadly… now new duties are expected to be done and the effects from my childhood still linger. I still have this sense of duty and obligation to my family and their wellbeing, even though I’m told that I don’t need to do it anymore. I’d gotten so used to being the one who does everything and even though my family is older now, I’m sometimes still expected to fulfill old and new responsibilities because of my role in my family. It never seems to end.

Like I said though, things have gotten better and I’m learning to say no. But I won’t lie, there were times where I just wanted to disappear, kind of like how Cairn felt. Not die, don’t worry. Just walk away from my family, community, and anyone who knew me in life and start everything from scratch. Don’t get me wrong; I don’t hate my family, especially my siblings. I love them, even though they frustrate me sometimes.  I really want the best for them and I want to see them do well on their own. Still, there were times when I was tired and… I just wanted space from everyone and everything for… maybe a few years? I had a small taste of this when I first left home for college. I was away from home and was finally allowed to do what I wanted to do for myself. It felt good but wrong at the same time. Even though I finished school, life has brought me back home and sadly, those darn obligations are back on me. But now that I’m older and understand the world a little better, if I play my cards right, I’ll soon be truly free from these chains of familial duties and obligations. Thankfully some of my siblings and close friends understand my feelings and support me. Speaking of freeing themselves, let’s finish this rambling post by going back to Cairn.

True or False sense of freedom...?

As shown in some of the manga pages I added, I hope I was able to show why Cairn’s position is sadder than one would assume. So, when Cairn went to the moon and even though their sudden character change initially came out of nowhere, the more I thought about it, it sort of makes sense. On the moon, Cairn was allowed to actually make choices, from the clothes they wore to the name they go by. Cairn was no longer expected to look after someone else like they did back on earth, especially someone who had the tendency to attract trouble.

Cairn no longer had any obligations to fill. They didn’t have to put others first before themselves. They are allowed to be who they truly are. On the moon, Cairn had freedom… or rather the illusion of freedom. At least, it seems that way to me. This is up for debate after the last chapter but I remember during chapter 75 and beyond, this sense of freedom that Aechmea made for Cairn feels...false. But whether it’s false or true, this offered freedom is what made Cairn latch onto Aechmea so quickly. It’s gross how Aechmea clearly took advantage of their naivety but at the same time, it’s clear that Cairn still accepted this with sound mind... and it’s pitiful to see.

I understand people hating Cairn and I don’t blame them; I just personally don’t. Yes, I’m disappointed with their choices and actions but at the same time, I totally get it. They crave freedom and though they can make choices and are no longer expected to be Phos’s partner or keeper anymore, Cairn isn’t truly free; they just have a new master, and Cairn knows this. But at this point, they don’t care anymore. What they have on the moon was better than what they had on earth. I admit, if you ignore the manipulation stuff that Aechmea is clearly doing, Cairn kind of has it good. So…yeah, good for you Cairn. I’m even a little envious but not by much.

I don’t know where this series is headed for Cairn and the other characters. I still think we’re headed for a bittersweet ending and how that will play out is anyone’s guess. But you know what, because of how much I see myself in Cairn and other characters like them, a part of me is happy to see them feel free for the first time, even if it’s not true freedom.

So yeah, this was my post. I’d been working on and delaying it for way too long. Please feel free to share what you think.

[svartalfhild]

Oh okay! I just wasn't sure what tone you were going for!

Rasaad has 3 possible endings: 2 non-romanced and 1 romanced, so as long as you stick by him, you'll get the romance ending. In my opinion, they're all kind of "bad" endings in each their own way, but that's a different conversation.

As with most games of this genre, companions generally have two different directions you can push them in their personal quests, which determines what kind of ending they get. In BG2, though, if you romance a character, that's just one separate ending and it ends up not mattering which philosophical direction you pushed the character.

I haven't finished BG3 quite yet, but I too am hoping I get a good ending with Halsin.

Re: your tags, Rasaad has never been very popular, especially back when the Enhanced Editions first came out and introduced him. The OG fandom was already invested in Anomen or one of the moddable romances (especially Xan, apparently- I will be forever confused about that) and Dorn was the most popular EE character when I arrived in the BG tumblr fandom in 2015. For the longest time, me and like 2 other people were the dedicated Rasaad fans and those two people have since disappeared from tumblr. His popularity has picked up a bit in recent years for whatever reason, but since the fandom of the original games is still rather small, the amount of fanworks and game info about Rasaad still hasn't increased much. I am unfortunately not exaggerating when I say that I am, as far as I know, the sole keeper of the Rasaad deep knowledge in the fandom.

Anyway! Yes! I've seen Rasaad's MTG card art! I love it very much! I wish I could buy that card but the pack it can come in is very expensive and isn't even a guaranteed card.

Halsin is the Rasaad of BG3.

[princess-self-shipping]

Hednonophobia

Fandom; Bendy and the Dark Revival

Character List; Bendy, Audrey

Genre(s): Emotional hurt/comfort

Word Count: 2778

TW/CW; None! (If needed to be tagged, plz inform)

Spoilers for BATDR! Do not ready if you do not wish for spoilers!

Hedonophobia is an excessive fear or aversion to obtaining pleasure. The purported background of some such associated feelings may be due to an egalitarian-related sentiment, whereby one feels a sense of solidarity with individuals in the lowest Human Development Index countries. For others, a recurring thought that some things are too good to be true has resulted in an ingrainedness that they are not entitled to feel too good. Sometimes, it can be triggered by a religious upbringing wherein asceticism is propounded.

Life tended to work in cycles. Routines that people got familiar with one way or another, it wasn’t anything too out of the ordinary for people living their everyday lives. Wake up, eat breakfast, go to work, go home, repeat as necessary. Sure there were times things needed to be spiced up in order for there to be some sense of variety, to keep the cycles from being too dull, but there were often things people repeated over and over because it was just familiar to them. Though, cycles like this still had these individuals merit some sort of control over their own lives.

The little imp recently taken into the world of color was not used to such a change. His cycles were more… structured. For the most part anyway, until a while ago when the cycle was tampered with. But his role had always been predetermined; the master of the world and the demon that lurked its halls. His nature and power commanded respect and fear from those who lived there, and he enjoyed it. It was a way of living that kept him safe, kept him in control. Even if the cycle continued over and over again, he still held on to this control and power. It kept him sane, kept him going throughout it all.

And then there was that interloper, Wilson. No one knew how he found out about this world, and to this day the demon still didn’t. But it didn’t matter how he found it, what mattered were the consequences of his actions. Experiments, tests, pushing the studio to its limits, and one more thing that set the entire studio into a bad spiral; stopping the cycle. Creating The Keepers to keep it from starting over again and again, the ones who played a key role in the original script were captured and imprisoned. The reel was stolen and kept away from anyone’s reach. And what they did to him… he’d rather not think about it.

He still lived with the consequences of Wilson’s actions. In the world of color, he could only retain his small form consistently, his larger one was far more of a risk and unstable now. What used to be the only form he had was now a stranger to him, and he wasn’t sure how to feel about it. On one hand, he was finally back in the world he was born in after being banished to live as a villain. On the other hand… this was NOT the ideal circumstances of his return that he had expected. He was small, weak, frail… he couldn’t defend himself if need be. He’d grown soft, almost like a child. His demonic nature was still there, but he couldn’t quite reach it in this state. It was as if he had been declawed, his weapons removed and his aggression with it. He didn’t like it. It felt horrible.

“Bendy?” A familiar voice snapped him out of his thoughts, and the black and white world he had lost himself in returned to color. He was sitting on the tiled floor of an office, a wooden train in his hands that he’d been… squeezing a bit too hard if the splintering wood was anything to go by. By the colors in the room- and how hard it was to see- it must have been night… wasn’t the sun going down just a minute ago? How much time had gone by since he lost himself in his thoughts?

“Bendy, is everything okay?” That voice called his name again, and he turned to face the person in question. Audrey; the woman who had brought him out of the ink machine with her. She’d left the world of sepia tones and ink to return to the world of color, and because of their connection he had gone with her. She was the one to blame for this, for the state that he was in after his escape. 

Still, he nodded at her question. She was the master of the studio her father created now, and he didn’t wish to test the extent of those abilities. She had already meddled with the cycle for those who couldn’t leave with the two of them, trying to make their lives that much more bearable inside. She was… a mushy soul all things considered. How could someone with as much pain as she still have so much empathy for those around her? It confused him.

Audrey didn’t seem to believe him, given the way her eyebrows furrowed together and she tapped her pen on the paper in front of her. Still, she let out a sigh as she went to stand up, setting the pen down in a familiar cup beside her. Either that meant she was going for a coffee run, or she was about to leave the studio for the evening. He watched her for a minute as she walked around the room, only to find himself grow slightly disappointed seeing her grab her purse and sling it over her shoulder. Home for the night it was. He was never supposed to leave Audrey’s office until they figured something out, he had made a few places to hide in here to make sure of it. Audrey was respected enough in the office to be left alone during the work day that it was fine, and during the night she often stayed in late to work rather than not. So, guess it was time for him to ready the hiding spot. They both knew what it would mean if he was spotted.

Though… he paused once he didn’t hear the door open, and instead the sound of Audrey’s heels coming closer. She was in front of him, and soon crouched down to take a knee in front of him. It was a familiar position to him, one she took when she wanted to speak to him on an equal level… he wasn’t used to it. He was even more shocked to see her hold out her hand to him, causing him to look between her hand and her face in a confused manner.

“How about you come home with me this time?” Record scratch. Bendy was certain he heard one somewhere throughout the building at Audrey’s words. What did she just say? She of all people had stressed the importance of him not being seen as to not risk anything happening to him now that he was in the colored world. She hadn’t wanted to repeat her father’s mistakes with him being taken and locked away. What changed?

He was still hesitant as he thought it over, bringing his toy train to his chest. It was his go to whenever he felt nervous about something, he had lost his ability to speak in this smaller form as well. This form truly was a burden, yet it kept him out of trouble. 

The cue was enough for Audrey to pick up on, and she adjusted herself to sit on both of her legs this time. She sat like this too, to make herself smaller to keep the pressure on him minimal. He didn’t need it, he didn’t fear the girl as he once had when his young mindset was stronger. But the gesture was… appreciated nonetheless. 

“It’s okay. No one’s gonna see you, it’s just you and me in the building. And I’ve got something I wanna show you on the way there.” Well, if there was one vice he shared with his cartoon counterpart, it was his curiosity. Damn it… he was gonna do this, wasn’t he? Well, it beat spending another boring night in here he supposed, and Audrey knew better than to try anything. Just because it was hard for him to shift into his bigger shape didn’t mean it was impossible. And he would cause a scene somehow if he needed to.

He accepted her hand, and let her pull him along out of the building. The elevator was a new experience; he was too big for those back in the studio, and even then he preferred to travel by portals. So being in a small moving box that was plummeting down sent… a few unpleasant feelings through his body. But, it’s fine. Audrey was there holding on to him, and he had his train in his other hand to keep him calm. Nothing to worry about, it’s all fine. 

The car was a completely new experience though. He was put in the back seat of it, Audrey reasoned he was too small for the front for whatever reason. While it felt like a tiny little moving box of death, it didn’t feel… too small. He had enough room to kick his legs out, stretch a bit, even run his train along the sides of the seats in order to help calm himself down. Audrey was really going out of her way to make things comfortable for the imp in her care, and it made him feel funny… When was the other shoe going to drop? He trusted Audrey to not be stupid enough to try anything outright, but this all felt like a bit much. Something wasn’t right, he was sure of it.

This train of thought was promptly cut off by the fact that the moving tin can of death finally came to a stop. But not in front of a building, it seemed to be in front of some… fence. A fence? Where were they? Bendy took off his seatbelt to take a better look at the environment around them, only to see nothing short of green and brown tinted with the night’s blue as far as the eye could see. She had driven them into some sort of forest while he had been lost in his thoughts, and he felt his stomach tighten. This was it… this was where it was going to drop, wasn’t it? Well, if she thought she was going to get the jump on him, she wasn’t nearly as smart as he thought!

Audrey climbed out of the car first, shutting the door behind her before making her way over to Bendy’s. By that point, he was tense as a coiled spring and was ready to lash out at Audrey if she tried anything that felt like an attack. Still, she just gave him that same gentle smile and went to help him out of his seat and outside the car.

“Alright, here we are. This is where I wanted to show you before we went back to my house. But we’ve got a bit of walking to do, think you can handle it?” They weren’t there yet? How much farther would they have to go to reach this ‘mystery’ place she had in mind. Fine. Humor her. Bendy nodded, only to be scooped up into Audrey’s arms like he was a child. He froze and was about to thrash about in protest, but Audrey was quick to shush him.

“Easy, easy. I gotta climb that fence, and I don’t want you to hurt yourself if you do it. So hold on, okay?” She adjusted her hold on him to move him to her back, sitting on her shoulders comfortably as she made her way over towards the wire fence again. She was being so careful with him, a habit she had picked up since the two had escaped together. It was such an odd thing really, it wasn’t like he was a delicate child or something who couldn’t defend himself. She of all people should know this, yet she still treated him this way. Why? Why would she continue to baby him when she knew how perfectly capable-

The sudden jump down the fence he hadn’t fully processed Audrey was climbing cut his thoughts short, and he tightened his hold on the woman in response. Nope- nope okay he’s fine. She just jumped down, and they were both fine on the other side.

“You okay?” A nod. “Alright, we’ve got a bit more to go. Hold on just a bit longer, little guy.”

She didn’t put him down, she just kept walking forward through the grass. It was untamed here, no paths or specific roads to go down. The fence must have perturbed enough to keep them away, but not Audrey… she was an odd one, just in terms of personality alone. Why would she bring him here of all places? He was so confused, she was treating him like a child but no doubt bringing him somewhere where she had something terrible planned for him. Why wouldn’t she? Just like anyone else in the studio, she was subjected to his torment. 

Anyone who didn’t follow him would jump at the opportunity to be rid of him.

Wilson was proof enough of that.

Joey was proof enough of that.

The walk wasn’t much longer, the field soon making way to the top of a hill with an individual tree sitting amongst it. With the cooler weather settling in, the leaves were more brittle and falling from the branches. It was… admittedly rather pretty, Bendy could at least admit that. 

Audrey carefully moved the demon from her shoulders, setting him down on the ground but not letting go of his hand. She led the way towards the tree, carefully sitting down and patting the spot next to her. His hand tightened on his train, but he did as he was told. He hated it immediately, the grass was damp and cold, and it was immediately one of the worst feelings in the world. Absolutely not. Audrey laughed a little at his reaction, guess he made a funny face. Great.

They sat there in silence for a while, Audrey just staring ahead of them while Bendy tried to figure out what was going on here. Okay, remote uncomfortable location, enough to make his heart start pounding in his chest. Something was going on here, she was planning something and he knew it. Just when everything starts to go right, something always goes wrong. It never fails, no matter what happens it never fails. But this time he was ready. If she tried anything, he would tear her apart. Keeper of the cycle or not, he refused to be a victim anymore.

“Bendy, it’s time. Look.” Audrey pointed in front of them, towards the horizon that she had been staring at. Time? Time for what? Bendy looked up from the spot in the grass he had burned a hole into, only for his eyes to widen. A golden ray was starting to peak up over the horizon, followed by shades of orange and purple. Sunrise… had Audrey been in the office so long that they were able to see the sunrise on the way home? But… this… this was beautiful… 

Audrey… she didn’t have an ulterior motive. She was just showing him something nice. Something bright and full of colors he never saw before inside the studio. She wasn’t being mean or cruel, she was just… being Audrey… but that couldn’t be right. It was never right. Something wrong had to happen sooner or later, nothing good ever happened without something bad to counteract it! This wasn’t right! A monster like him didn’t get to just stick with happy things!

A hand on his cheek snapped him out of his spiral that had almost started, and he felt something wet being wiped away. Huh? When had he started crying? Bendy turned to face Audrey as she pulled her hand away, his face now an expression of bewilderment.

Her eyes were still as soft and kind as ever. She was always kind to him, no matter what happened. She didn’t say anything, and instead just offered her arms out to him. There was never any plan… Audrey wasn’t Wilson. Audrey wasn’t Joey. Audrey wasn’t anyone at Gent… she was the closest thing this demon had to a family.

Maybe that’s why he felt comfortable accepting her offer, returning her hug and silently sobbing in her arms.

Maybe… maybe there was some hope for a monster, a demon, to have some genuine happiness in his life after all.