#anyway you may have noticed how I only know how to draw 2 emotions : anger and despair

[sobselpop]

Define ‘‘irreplaceable’’

[moon-light-jukebox]

see? - [Reid x Reader] - Chapter 3

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Summary: Months after Reader left, Reid has tried to put his life back together. He’s never stopped trying to find Reader, but he may find her in the worst way possible. 

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 3.3k for Chapter 3

Content Warning: Normal Criminal Minds stuff. Mentions of drug addiction. This series has a villain, and he harms women. There is no s*xual assault, but there is brief talk of torture, and then the death of the victims. Spoiler: Our unsub targets pregnant women, one of the infants does not survive. Reader and her baby are fine. I don't go into detail, but if you need to skip this, I understand. 

A/n: How can I ever thank you all enough for being so patient with me? That being said, this chapter does end on a cliffhanger that you probably saw coming if you read “River” by @yours-truly-r​. She shared this plot with me, so this is my version. I’ll try my best not to make you wait too long for chapter 4. Chapter 3 & 4 are in Spencer’s point of view, but the remainder of the series will be in Reader’s POV. 

-- Linear Progression -- 

(Spencer’s POV)

The night we came back from my first case with the BAU, Morgan declared that he was going to a bar near his apartment to "get lucky." When I pointed out the fact that it was almost 2 am, he had told me, "time is an illusion, Pretty Boy."

That was the first time he called me pretty boy, along with the first time I tried to explain a theoretical concept he had no interest in hearing.

He was right to a degree. The way we understand time is an illusion. Time doesn’t happen in the linear way that we as a society perceive it to. The physics of time are still widely debated, but the running hypothesis is that everything that has ever happened is still happening right now. Every single moment in time is happening all at once, and it always will be.

Morgan didn’t “get lucky” that night, but he did give me a ride back to my apartment. I think that was the beginning of our friendship; I had never been able to understand the social constructs of relationships and friendships, but I think he felt some sort of responsibility for the skinny kid with glasses who was babbling about the physics of time at 3 am.

My friendship with Derek Morgan was one of the most important of my life.

Which is why I wasn't going to murder him for banging on my door at 7 am.

“Open up, Pretty Boy!”

Grumbling, I got out of bed and padded down the hallway towards my living room where Morgan was pounding on the door so hard, I was concerned it was going to fly off its hinges.

“If you break my door, you’re gonna fix it,” I muttered out when I finally pulled the door open.

The man who was the closest thing to a brother I had just smiled at me. “I restore houses, kid. It’d be an improvement.”

Smirking, I waved him into my apartment. In the months since…Since February, Morgan had made it a habit of coming by several times a week whenever we were in town. I don’t know if the rest of the team knew he did it, I don’t know if they were as worried about me as he was, but it wouldn’t have surprised me.

“Coffee?” I asked, making my way into the kitchen.

"We'll grab some on the way," he said, flopping down on my couch. "We have a case; I told Hotch I'd swing by and get you. It's wheels up as soon as we get there and finish the briefing."

I frowned. “I didn’t get any message.”

“I know. I asked Garcia to let me wake you.” He turned his head around to look at me. “You haven’t been sleeping, kid.”

He wasn’t wrong. “It’s…I’m trying, Derek.”

I didn’t need to say it, because he knew it. Much like time, recovery isn’t a linear process. You start, you stumble, you go back, sometimes you go up then down. It’s an imperfect journey because there isn’t a finish line; addiction can’t be beaten, only beaten back.

Derek Morgan had been beside me through every step of my recovery.

Lumbering off the couch, he walked over to stand before me. “Reid, you’re doing the best you can. Everyone stumbles.”

I shook my head. “It’s different. I can…I can still see it. I can still see it all, Morgan.”

I could still see the look on Ben’s face when he found the vials of Dilaudid I had hidden all around my apartment. I could still remember the look on Hotch’s face when he told me she was gone. I could still see the anger on Garcia’s face when she refused to help me find her.

Most of all, I remember how y/n looked when I told her I would kill her, give up her precious life, for one more moment with Maeve. Every morning, right before I wake up, that memory flashes behind my eyes.

I’ve called in every favor I’m owed, reached out to every connection; no one could find her. She vanished.

I quickly realized the only way she could vanish like that is if she had help from inside the bureau, and if I had to guess, I’m sure I know who helped her. If she went to all these lengths, she didn’t want to be found, least of all by me.

"We'll find her, Spencer," Morgan said gently, pulling me from my thoughts.

He said the words to comfort me, but even he knew they weren’t true. No one would find y/n y/l/n until she wanted to be found.

Nodding my head, I made my way back towards my bedroom to get ready for the case.

Making amends is very big in the recovery process. I wanted to make amends to y/n, and while I wanted that to be in the traditional sense, I settled for a symbolic one.

I tried to make myself into the man she thought I was before that night. Every time I felt the itch crawl up my spine, I thought of her face. It didn't make the craving go away; it just made it easier to bear.

I didn’t deserve to have her back in my life, but I wanted to be someone who did.

After I had finished getting ready, I made my way over to my bedside table to pick up the coin I carried with me everywhere, running my fingers over the edges before placing it in my pocket.

Two hundred and forty-seven days sober, and each one of them was for her.

--

We never made it to the bullpen that morning. Hotch called and informed us that it was wheels up "immediately," and that we would debrief on the plane. Morgan and I were the last members of the team to arrive. He took a seat on the couch beside Callahan while I opted to sit at the table across from Hotch and JJ.

“Garcia is going to be out for the remainder of the week. She has the flu,” our unit chief informed us, his eyes fixed on the tablet in front of him.

Morgan toyed with his phone, no doubt trying to text his ‘baby girl’ before take-off. “Who is going to be running things from here since she’s out? Kevin?”

Hotch nodded, but I couldn’t help but notice he seemed distracted. “He’s the most familiar with Garcia’s systems.”

“Is that what they’re calling it these days,” Rossi muttered just a bit too loudly, earning a mock glare from Hotch, a confused look from Kate, an eye roll from Morgan and JJ, and a soft huff of laughter from me.

“Let’s get started,” Hotch ordered, drawing all of our focus back to the present. “The Oregon State Police have requested our help.”

I couldn’t help but wrinkle my nose at the tablet in front of me, further proof Garcia wasn’t on this case. Despite how mad she was at me over Y/n, she still always accommodated my wishes for paper files.

The state police?” Morgan asked. “Not the locals?”

"No," Hotch answered, right as I brought up an image on my screen. "He's not sticking to one county."

I heard a strangled gasp from JJ, but I didn't need to look up to know why. “How many?” I asked.

“When the original request was made two women had been abducted. Both of them were pregnant, days from giving birth, and both from the same town of Silverton, Oregon. The first victim was Iris Jenkins. She was a 31-year-old woman, and she was 40 weeks and 2 days gestation when she was taken by the unsub. The M.E. estimates he held her for less than 24 hours before she died.”

“The baby?” JJ asked, her voice thick with emotion.

“He was left outside of a local hospital in Silverton. He was completely unharmed. The next intended victim is Nancy Williamson. She was abducted outside her workplace. Also 40 weeks pregnant with a boy.”  

“Could that be a coincidence?”

Hotch still didn’t look up from his tablet. “It could have been before the latest victim.”

“But Nicole Williamson escaped?” Morgan asked. “That’s lucky. Did she give a description of the guy?”

“No, she said he kept her blindfolded and bound to a chair.”

That caused me to pause. "That doesn't make sense. Why would the unsub blindfold them if he plans on killing them anyway?"

Rossi spoke for the first time. “Psychological torture? Sensory deprivation?”

I thought about that as I swiped through the crime scene photos; pausing when I saw a photograph of a letter on the screen. "He makes them write letters?”

“Just the first victim and the third. The one that got away was only held for 12 hours.”

I frowned. “Is this blood? Or just red ink?”

“The first is red ink, the second letter is still being processed.”

It was obvious based on the letter spacing and how many loops were in the letters that a woman wrote this letter. Based on the contents of the letter, I could also assume she was under duress.

Hotch spoke again, pulling my focus. “Morgan, I'd like for you and JJ to drive up to Silverton. Visit Miss Williamson and ask if she's up for a cognitive interview, then visit the M.E., ask him if he remembers anything about the first victim.”

“Where was the…” JJ’s question trailed off when he got to the same image Kate’s hand had been frozen over for the last 47 seconds, the same photo that was described in the incident report that Hotch had on his screen.

My unit chief, my friend, cleared his throat before he spoke. “Kayla Whitmore was found an hour ago in Eugene, Oregon. The autopsies are already underway, and the scene is being processed.”

“The cause of death seems pretty apparent,” Morgan said with a look of disgust on his face.

"The time between this most recent kill and the last abduction is much shorter. We need to move fast," Hotch said, his voice grave. "Kate, I'd like for you to come with me to the FBI satellite office in Bend, that's where we're landing. Kayla Whitmore's credit card was used to buy gas right outside the town limits. Rossi, I'd like for you and Reid to ride out to Eugene. It should be undisturbed."

"I already don't understand this guy," Rossi muttered. "The first baby survives, the third doesn't. The second victim is blindfolded, but it doesn't appear the others were. He makes them write their own letters. Then he uses the third victim's credit card. This behavior…it's erratic."

“Is the message on the wall the same in both crime scenes?” I asked, already knowing the answer.

“Yes.”

--

The media hadn’t named our unsub yet, but I was sure it wouldn’t be long, especially once word of Kayla Whitmore reached the public. This type of violence always draws attention.

Rossi was moving around the room, silent, but his eyes moving rapidly over everything. “He’s a cocky son of a bitch, I’ll give him that.”

I nodded. “Do we have the original note?” One of the deputies brought over an evidence bag, inside of it was the wrinkled piece of paper. “Have we analyzed this yet?”

The man nodded. “It’s red ink, just like the last.”

"It makes sense; blood might start to coagulate and make it more difficult to work with. Rossi, come here." I called, offering him the note.

“Give justice to the weak and the fatherless; maintain the right of the afflicted and the destitute. Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked,” he read. “It sounds biblical.”

“It is. It’s Psalm 82, verses 3 through 4.”

“Was the first note biblical?”

“The first victim was made to write, ‘Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.’ That’s from Ephesians. There are similar themes in both letters.”

“So, he’s perverting the bible to fit his own fucked up narrative? How original.” The older man handed the paper back to me. “We have to find out how he’s choosing them.”

My gaze moved over to the right wall of the room. "Did the unsub leave any prints when he wrote on the wall?"

It wasn't the first message I'd seen written in blood, but I don't think it's something you ever get used to. “’Do you see this, son of man?’ could be another biblical reference. It’s Ezekiel chapter 8, verse 17. “Do you see this, son of man? Yet you will see still greater abominations than these.’”

“So, are the children abominations? Or the mothers?” The deputy said quietly.

“The mothers,” I answered. “He doesn’t harm the children. I think it must go against his…moral code.”

The deputy scoffed behind me, and I was inclined to agree; the idea that someone could do something like this and have a moral code was almost impossible to imagine.

But devils hide in plain sight all the time.

“His rage is escalating,” I pointed out.

I heard the deputy ask Rossi what that meant.

“This guy is a bum,” the man who developed the art of profiling explained. "He can't get a girlfriend, and he has this idea in his mind that it’s the women’s fault. He thinks women owe him sex, love, whatever he wants.”

I walked away from the wall, turning to face the two men. “He thinks they’re dirty, unclean. It’s why he makes them write the note.  By making them say they deserved what he did to them, he’s humiliating them even after death.”

The deputy’s face was pale as he survived the scene around him. “Why does he make them leave the messages in their own blood?”

“Only one message is from them,” I replied, gesturing to the evidence bag. “The message in the blood is from the unsub.”

Before we exited the room, I turned back to that message again, feeling the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

Both victims had been discovered in the exact same way. The women were naked, stabbed multiple times, but with no signs of sexual assault. They were positioned in the middle of the blood-soaked mattress, their arms spread wide.

He had left the same message on the walls of the room, written in the blood of the woman he killed.

“Do you see this, son of man? Do you see?”

--

“The media is calling him The Prophet.”

Rossi scoffed. “I bet it was that wet behind the ears deputy who leaked the note and told him the kid’s biblical theories.”

Rossi and I had arrived at the FBI office in Bend, Oregon about an hour ago. Kate and Hotch had already set up; JJ and Morgan were on their way back from Silverton now.

“So, what do we know about this jag-off?” Rossi questioned, staring at the evidence board.

Hotch came to stand at the head of the conference table, his eyes sharp, his voice clipped. "Reid, Dave, what did the M.E. say about the Eugene autopsies?”

"He said he suspected it was a botched c-section. Kayla was just over 40 weeks pregnant, but he said it's not uncommon for first-time mothers to go up to 42 weeks.”

“I know that’s right,” I heard JJ mutter from the speaker placed in the center of the table.

“Indicates a lack of medical knowledge,” Morgan offered. “Because we know this guy isn’t squeamish.”

I agreed with my friend but didn't comment on it; my mind already on another topic. "What's interesting is that Kayla had an anterior placenta, meaning it attached to the front of her uterus. Usually, the placenta attaches to the posterior wall, meaning it's more towards her back. Because of the unusual placement of the placenta, I think that the death of this fetus was accidental."  

“It wasn’t a fetus, Reid,” Kate snapped. “It was a baby.”

I cleared my throat, meeting her angry gaze. I knew Callahan was the guardian of a young girl, and based on my years working with fellow agents who were also parents, I knew it was best not to argue about definitions and semantics. "I'm sorry, Kate," I murmured.

Her gaze softened. "It's fine. Sorry. This case is just…this is a lot." She looked down to swipe across her tablet screen. "This child was a boy too?"

I nodded. “All three of the victims were pregnant with boys.”

“So, he wants boys?”

Rossi turned to Kate. “He wants mothers of boys. Probably his way of killing his mother over and over again.”

“But how does he know the babies are boys?” JJ asked.

“So, what do they have in common?” Hotch asked. “Let’s add Nicole Williamson into the mix too, what do we have?”

“There were quotes from the bible in the two complete notes. Those specific verses are often referenced when they speak about protecting children,” I said, my eyes moving over the files. “The women were all in their 20’s. They were all at least 39 weeks pregnant, and...huh, there’s not a father named in any of the medical charts.”

“But how does he know that!” JJ huffed again in frustration.

“And are we sure this unsub is a guy?” Callahan questioned. “There was no sign of sexual assault.”

“If we follow statistics, women take babies, and men take children. With that in mind, it would be safe to assume this was a woman, but the amount of rage we’re seeing makes me think it’s a man.” I turned my back to the team, my eyes moving over the crime scene photos. "The letter was written under duress, but the language is very misogynic. Based on the information Kevin gathered about Kayla's online life, she had a normal amount of self-esteem. It's out of character that she'd talk about herself this way. By all accounts, she was excited for the baby. It's also incredibly difficult to stab someone 54 times. All the women would have fought him until the end. He'd have to be stronger to subdue her. It's a biological instinct, mothers' will stop at nothing to protect their children."

Hotch had pulled out his phone before I finished speaking, dialing Kevin Lynch to give him the criteria of the person we were searching for. "We need women in the Bend, Oregon area that are close to giving birth. There will not be fathers listed on the medical charts. She'll be at least 39 weeks into her pregnancy."

“Alright, so that would leave us with…” Kevin wasn’t able to finish his sentence before an alarm started blaring over the speaker, almost drowning out Kevin’s yelp of surprise.

“What is it?” Hotch asked. “Did something happen?”

"I…I don't know, sir," Kevin answered after he had finally gotten the alarm to quiet. "I was running the search, and…it triggered some sort of system-wide alarm. It completely locked me out of Penny’s system.”

Morgan clicked his tongue. “That doesn’t make any sense. Penelope wouldn’t set some alarm without a reason.”

“Wait. Kevin, was there any sort of message that came up when you triggered the alarm?” Hotch asked, his tone urgent.

There was a weird tension on Hotch’s face while he waited for Kevin to reply. “Yeah, uh, just a dialogue box that says ‘Nightingale.’”

“Nightingale?” Kate asked. “Isn’t that the…”

Hotch didn't reply; he hung up abruptly while Kevin was still speaking. I felt a chill run down my spine when I noticed his hands trembled slightly.

“What is it, Hotch?” Rossi asked urgently.

But he never got a chance to answer; a deputy stormed into the room. "We just got a report of an abandoned car outside of a grocery store about half a mile from here. It's registered to a young woman, and there was an empty infant car seat strapped in the back."

Hotch took the paper from him but didn't look at it. His eyes were screwed shut, and his shoulders were tense.

I heard when the voice spoke on the other end of the line. I heard the deep breath Hotch let out before he spoke.

“Penelope, I need to know where y/n is.”

----------

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[stilemawillow]

His Eyes and Her Mind [Levi | Reader | High school AU!]

You're slowly browsing through your old Psychology notebook before you pinpoint a sentence that draws your attention. Your reaction is immediate - your lips curl into a condescending smile as you stare at it, highly amused.

'Eyes are a door to one's soul.'

Yeah, as if. You cackle and your boyfriend throws you a strange look from his seat across the table outside the café you're currently at. Honestly, you've never believed this eye to soul connection and there is very little that can change your opinion on the matter.

1. Normal look     Indifference

You walked down the hallway with your best friend Hanji when you saw him. Hanji flipped her brown hair over her shoulder, talking about your Biology lesson, but you could no longer hear her as distinctly. He was walking towards you with his small group of friends - Isabel and Farlan, the girl and boy on both his sides discussing something heatedly as he watched the debate silently.

You were approximately five feet away when he also looked up and saw you. You felt something turn inside you, but it was a daily occurrence around him so you ignored the sign as always and stared into his gunmetal orbs. Your face stayed impassive and so did his as your small groups passed each other down the hallway, but you had to admit you liked the attention he had been giving you recently.

Sure, you'd never really talked, but you'd exchanged plain courtesy and greetings at times when it was inevitably going to happen anyway. You never thought much of it - he was attractive and he was staring at you more than you'd ever seen him stare at anybody, but that was it. It didn't make your heart flutter, your knees wobble or your head spin. It shouldn't have as well.

You just couldn't get his dumb eyes out of your head.

2. Intense stare     Frustration

What's his problem?! You were fucking sure if he kept staring at you like that you were going to get up and slap him at one point. Second term turned out to be your "lucky" one since you now shared three out of seven classes with Levi Ackerman, the one that had been paying you attention since the beginning of the junior school year.

Your brows momentarily furrowed.

Of course, since you'd had only two short-term boyfriends in your life so far and they'd never really paid much attention to you you enjoyed it more than you should've. It still didn't make your knees wobble or your mind fogged up with daydreams of the boy sweeping you off your feet, but you still hadn't even led a proper conversation.

You nervously licked your dry lips.

You were forced to officially meet last month during a project you had to do with three other people, but other than that stiff interaction you'd never even said anything to him and he seemed fine with that. Only recently, however, his attention seemed to have gone to the next level. For a week straight he'd been staring you down like he wanted to come up to you and ask you to willingly give him all your valuable personal belongings.

You got a hand through your hair in frustration.

Today was especially intense for some unknown to you reason, but it was pissing you off since you could feel it and it made you uncomfortable. Did he have some kind of problem with you - your attire, attitude, appearance as a whole? Maybe you pissed him off? Maybe you'd said something wrong? Maybe he was in a bad mood and decided to get it out on you?

A sigh left your lips.

You doubted the last one since Levi always seemed like he was in a bad mood, but you'd never seen him stare at somebody like this just because of that. You didn't know what his stare meant and that pissed you off more than the distracting persistence of his gunmetal hues. You were frustrated up to the point of blowing up any second now - his stare had made you avoid him as a whole less than ten minutes ago.

Your finger started tapping on your notebook impatiently.

The teacher at the front was talking about something you couldn't even pay attention to, Levi's tense orbs were digging holes into your face and the feeling of it was unsettling. So Hanji had been right when she said people could actually feel when they were being watched. You looked up, anything but interested in your work and stared right back into the gunmetal hues of the male across your desk, sharing his best friend's coursebook which had forced him to turn his back to the teacher and his face to you.

You saw his own eyebrow twitch momentarily but his gaze never left yours. You glared hard into his eyes, trying to provoke him, but it was in vain - he didn't react in any way. You tried to read what in the fucking hell had made him this annoyed with you in the first place - could there be any specific reason for his staring?

Your stomach turned again when you saw him get a hand through his silky locks as his eyes left yours. Great, now you were the one staring. Your eyes narrowed and you kept observing him, but he made no effort whatsoever to regain the lost eye contact, which just made you angrier.

Was he trying to make you look like a creep by staring at him? Well, you weren't going to have it.

With a huff, your attention went back to your own coursebook. You could feel his intense stare on your face less than a second after that. To say that you almost broke your pen in half wasn't an understatement.

3. Bashful avoidance     Confusion

He just had to be like that, didn't he? Levi Ackerman, the all mighty, fearless sorta bad boy, sorta nerd. He just had to keep looking at you, giving your desperate being some kind of false hope and a shit ton of mixed signals. And what was worse - he didn't seem to regret it one bit. The worst however was yet to come and it was the unknown. Sometimes it scared you more than your biggest fears.

Fear of heights? Well, this building's last floor may be the fifth or fifty-fifth, wouldn't know with that fog.

Fear of the dark? That room might be lit up by the sun itself, but it could also be pitch black. Wouldn't want to understand which.

Fear of not knowing something? Levi Ackerman might as well tell you he loved or loathed you - you couldn't care less, but the tension of not knowing which of the two it was would break you before his words came out of his mouth.

Of course, the above was just a simple example of the situation at hand, which, in your personal opinion, was way worse. He was staring at you - fine. He made this strange thing happen to your internal organs with his presence - fine. He was charming, strangely kind, attractive, funny, intelligent and somehow generous, and he was paying attention to you of all people - fine. He confused you with his behaviour - not fine.

It had taken him two more days to calm down his intense stare, but he gradually did so and soon enough it was back to how it had always been - exchange of glances along the length of the hallway or up and down the stairs, sometimes even outside during lunch break. You rarely saw him out of school even though he lived in the same neighbourhood as you (which you knew since you regularly took the bus together) which was a relief of kinds. However, his recent behaviour seemed to confuse you more than anything.

First, he paid attention to you. Then, he tried to dig a hole into your face using only his eyes. Next, he stopped staring altogether and instead seemed like he was flirting with some other girl. Sure, she flirted first, but that wasn't much of an excuse. And all of a sudden, he was super friendly with the girl while eyeing you up constantly whenever you saw each other. It confused the fuck out of your mind and you hated not understanding certain things.

Not that you were the best when it came to emotions, socialising and such, but Levi had been remotely easy to read. Well, not now.

He walked into the school building with Farlan, sitting on the bench inside and facing your way (because you and Ymir were sitting on the bench across the room). You had a clear view of his eyes and how they trailed over your face, gently trying to push you to make eye contact with him. You didn't. Not yet anyway. It took you five seconds of a pointless exchange of stupid trivial phrases with Ymir to finally meet his gaze. You'd washed your hair earlier the same morning and combed it as much as you could before going out, so it was not a surprise that Levi noticed that - he always saw the little things.

Under normal circumstances, you'd lock gazes for the overall of ten seconds before either of your friends tore you away from the craved eye contact. This time it was different. Why? Because he looked away in less than a second.

Your brows raised in surprise and you listened to Ymir's story of her and Krista's date with half an ear, nodding occasionally when she would pause. The male's gesture confused you immensely - why did he look away? Was there something wrong with you? Did you not look as good? Of course, the mere fact that the action of his eyes averting from yours made you doubt yourself and grow self-conscious was stupid, but you couldn't help it - he never acted like that and you wanted to know why he did now.

This was where irritation came in. He confused you and you hated being confused, but it was inevitable - his further behaviour only made the issue deepen. The action repeated exactly four times before he and Farlan decided enough was enough and went up the stairs. He would look at you, hold your gaze for less than two seconds and look away as indifferently as possible. There were no changes in his facial expression and you could read nothing in his eyes. You were baffled at that - you were usually the one to look away.

You noticed the nervous tapping of his finger on his knee and the slight twitch of his thin eyebrow, but it wasn't something you considered significant at the time. You should have. Because it was.

4. Piercing glare     Anger

"I told you for the last time - I'm not going out with you, Mark."

Everything was pissing you off - today had started badly and was currently holding a steady pace. You had a pop quiz on your most hated subject so you barely got any sleep. Your mother had broken the coffee machine and your father had refused to fix it so no caffeine for you. And now due to yesterday’s downpoar your muddy shoes made you slip every few seconds.

Also, the constant annoyance bugging at your mind because of Levi's closeness with Petra was wow, what a surprise - annoying. It was troubling you on an emotional level, which was bad because if it was a trivial problem having to do with anything else you'd be in perfect condition to ignore it. Finally, this guy - Mark, who had been hitting on you for the past month suddenly decided to make an appearance during lunch break, block your way to your precious caffeine and ask you out on a date after you'd already refused him approximately five times.

Not to mention, he wasn't from the innocent annoying type - he was from the persistent scary type, where shit could get serious if you got too aggressive yourself. And right now, all you wanted was to get some fucking coffee and go back to class.

"Why, (Y/N)? You don't have a boyfriend." Mark put his hand on the tree which you'd found solace next to up until this moment, turning it into a trap that had just clicked instead. You found his smug strangely irritating today, to the point you could punch him if he tried anything funny.

"I just don't see you in that way, I don't want to waste my time." You retorted, teeth gritting in annoyance before the male decided to stop playing around. There weren't many people around you since the only coffee machine in a mile's radius was pretty far away and most students preferred to spend their time in the little shops around the school building and the cafeteria instead.

"So you're saying I'm a waste of time?" Mark leaned closer to you and his eyebrows furrowed, his pretty face finally showing its true colours. He had dirty blond curly hair and plain brown eyes, he was rather muscular and tall - all things he felt immensely proud of. Despite his face and body, however, he wasn't overly popular - he played sports and loved to hook up with every girl a bit above average, which really brought him down into the eyes of the female population in your school, resulting in some major disapproval coming from the student body.

"I'm saying it will waste our time as a whole, it's useless." You said, trying to ignore the way you wanted to punch him straight in the jaw. Maybe it wouldn't even work, but trying would surely satisfy your inner aggressive side - you just had to imagine you were hitting that stupid girl that was flirting with Levi.

"Not if I say it's not." Mark argued, making you turn your face to the side because of how close he was getting to you.

"Are you threatening me?" You inquired slowly with narrowed eyes. He just laughed at you before smirking down at your face.

"Do you want me to threaten you or will you agree to go out with me willingly?"

"Does that mean if I don't say 'yes' you'll force me?"

"Yes." He looked like the Big Bad Wolf about to have breakfast when he put his other hand on the tree behind you, pinning you between his arms. "When I want something I get it." His expression may have been seductive, but to you it was disgusting - how could such a male survive so long in society when he was this stupid and forceful?

"Didn't know you were a rapist besides being a womanizer." You pointed out, only to have the daylights slapped out of you a second later.

"Shut up!" He should have been thankful there weren't people around, otherwise, somebody would have come and stopped him by now. You guessed you wouldn't be able to have your coffee soon. The slap made your cheek sting and your eyes narrowed in fury. Sure, you couldn't do anything to fight him off except kick him in the nuts, which wouldn't do as much as you'd want it to, but you could sure as hell glare at him all you wanted.

"You're pathetic, you can't even take a rejection." You faced Mark, angry yet scared of what he might do to you now. You weren't going to let him have his way just because he was stronger, though. His face twisted in fury and he grasped your wrist, bruising the skin with his calloused fingers. He was about to hit you again with his other hand before it happened.

"Let go." Another male growled behind Mark's back. "Right. Now."

"Since when are you interested in protecting people? Or is it just this bitch?" Mark snarled at the other male, which you soon came to understand was actually Levi. Your eyes were wide as you stared at his frown. You doubted you'd ever seen him that angry.

"Are you sure you can question me right now?" The raven-haired boy asked with furrowed brows and a glare so hard you thought it would burn you if he directed it towards your eyes. Mark flinched and you felt his grip on your wrist loosen up a bit.

"What do you think you can do to me, Ackerman?" The blond asked cockily even though you could see his jaw clench in helplessness. You realised who would win if they got in a fight and honestly - if somebody asked you to name one thing that would probably make you piss yourself from fear it was going to be Levi's glare in the current moment. It burned with the intensity of a raging fire for unknown to you reasons - it couldn't be because of you, right? He was probably here to get himself coffee and decided to play 'save the damsel in distress' on the way to the machine.

"Do you wanna see?" Levi closed in on you and Mark and you felt your wrist fall from his hold as he stepped back. Levi cracked his knuckles and the blond gulped. You didn't really think Levi's words were what scared him off.

"I'm just tired because I had a match during PE. Next time this won't happen." He ran faster than anything you'd seen after that, leaving you and Levi all alone.

"Because there won't be a next time." The raven mumbled to himself dangerously low. His glare moved from the ground to you and you felt your blood boil. You glared back at him and pushed yourself off the tree with furrowed eyebrows and a scowl.

"What a fucking dumbass! I could handle him, you know, I didn't need your help!" You exclaimed in the raven's face. Surprisingly that was probably the first proper conversation you were having with him after your stiff official meeting.

"Do you really think so? Because I think you would've been raped in less than ten minutes." He pointed out in the most indifferent voice ever, making you try to dig a hole into his skull with your eyes. His glare was making you angrier yourself. When he stepped closer to you and gently wrapped his fingers around your bruised wrist your expression twisted in disgust and you yanked your hand away from his hold, ignoring how his glare had actually scared you moments ago.

You stepped away from him and went away, but not before snarling: "Don't fucking touch me."

5. Shocked gleam     Fright

"Hanji, stop talking about this, it's stupid." You were walking down the stairs with your brown-haired friend once again - a week or so had passed after the whole 'Mark incident' and surprisingly enough he never even approached you after that, it was like he was afraid to. You didn't pay much attention to it, going back to your routine of stealing glances at Levi Ackerman from time to time when he wasn't looking and hoping his gaze was tracing your face just as much as yours did his.

Unfortunately, you kept catching Petra Ral flirting with him and there was nothing you could do about it but blame yourself for not having the self-esteem to talk to him like she did. Right now, the discussed topic was close to your problems.

"I'm just saying if you mustered up some courage and started talking to him regularly his interest would pick up and hers would fade. The boy's basically staring at you every chance he gets, (Y/N)." Hanji argued as you pushed your way down the stairs through the other students going up. You knew Levi and Farlan were somewhere behind you since you had the same class together now, you just hoped neither of them would pick up on your conversation with the brown-haired girl.

"Hanji, I said stop. I don't want to talk about it anymore. Period." You stated harshly, looking at the girl next to you and clutching your backpack tighter. You briefly heard 'look at this' before someone bumped into you from behind and you lost your footing on the steps. Your body, your backpack and your combat boots tumbled down the stairs with nothing to catch on.

For a small second, you managed to use some student's shoulder to try and stabilise yourself, but it didn't work - it just turned your body so that you would fall on your back once the fateful moment came. You had a clear view of Hanji's parted lips and horrified expression. Right next to her, however, you saw something you may have just as well imagined with everything moving so fast.

Levi's hand was pushing through the students to get down faster and his eyes screamed something you couldn't really read. They gleamed in a way you never thought you'd see, like he'd seen his favourite cat get run over by a car on the street. Or something of the sort. You felt something grasp your hand, but had no time to see what exactly. The impact was here.

You didn't have time to analyse his wide eyes because your world went black less than a second after you were exposed to the complex sight.

Two hours later, you woke up in the infirmary with a giant headache and a panicked Hanji coming to visit you once classes were over. During your stay, you asked the nurse what had happened, but the only thing she said confused you even more: "If I understood correctly, the boy's arm almost broke when he used it to soften your fall. Well, you didn't get out completely uninjured since your back is bruised, but maybe you were actually lucky."

The next day Levi didn't come to school.

6. Deep gaze     Care

Calm, (Y/N), keep calm. It's all fine. You repeated over and over again in your head. Not like you had a chance to begin with, it's not a big deal.

Your breaths were coming out ragged and you felt like you weren't trembling because the ground in front of the side entrance of the school building was cold. A month, that was how long Levi had talked to you for. After the incident on the stairs at school and Levi's short absence after that, he started nodding to you when you'd see each other in the halls and you'd throw him a small smile, acknowledging his greeting. That went on for about two weeks before he came to you one day and asked to work with you since Farlan was absent and they always used the same coursebook. You'd said 'yes' without thinking much. Needless to say, you didn't really use the coursebook much that day yourself, you were too busy stealing glances at the male's face from up close and he was too nervous to actually read the exercises you were supposed to be doing.

After that it became a routine for him to approach you at least once a day - he'd give you a plain greeting, ask you about the classes you shared or if you wanted to get coffee together during lunch break (you felt he'd become overprotective after Mark even though there was no reason to be overprotective over you and no danger as a whole). There was always an excuse. Once he even sat next to you on the bus when there were no more free seats. You were happy, your mind was filled with butterflies and your stomach welled up with pleasant thoughts when he was around - or was it supposed to be the other way around?

It didn't matter since for a month you were the happiest girl on Earth.

And then Petra Ral came along. Needless to say, things started becoming shaky and you were drifting away - you didn't want to mess up her flirting with him. He seemed like he didn't notice or he was purely being an asshole and doing it on purpose. Not that it really mattered, you caught them making out less than four hours ago during lunch break. The worst was that he made eye contact right before breaking apart.

Not with her, with you. You would've felt sorry for her because her partner was clearly not paying attention to the activity she was putting so much effort (and tongue) into, but you hated her guts out of pure spite so you couldn't even care about emotions connected to empathy.

It's not his fault, he didn't give me any false hope - I created it myself.

That was your calming chant - he didn't do it just to break your heart, he did it because he wanted to be kind or use your coursebook when Farlan was gone. It wasn't to hurt you intentionally. It sounded stupid now that you thought about it - hoping for anything out of Levi Ackerman. He barely knew you and you barely knew him. Usually, you'd counter yourself with the argument you hadn't even led a proper conversation, but the worst here was that that was invalid now - you'd led many conversations throughout the past month and you'd enjoyed every single one of them no matter how stupid or trivial. For God's sake, you even enjoyed discussing different types of coffee and tea with him.

You weren't crying - you were having something like a minor panic attack, where you just trembled like a leaf and couldn't stop thinking about throwing your useless being in front of some passing bus. Truth be told, you hated these moments - if somebody had seen you during them that was Hanji and Hanji only. You'd never even let your parents understand about it even though the signs must've been there. The twitching, the trembling, the sweating, the ragged breathing. It was there. All of it was out there and if Levi ever saw it he'd truly give up on whatever you had even if it was as insignificant as your existence in the current moment.

You tried to laugh, but it came out messed up - like a person choking. You sat there for five more minutes - in the cold with the wind brushing your hair before you burrowed your face in your knees and closed your eyes. You could feel the tears, but they didn't want to come out. It was useless - crying about a boy that didn't even care about you.

Then somebody gently bumped your leg with their arm. Your head shot up and your hand instinctively reached for the pepper spray in your pocket, the one your father had given you as a Christmas present many months ago. Your eyes widened when you saw who was in front of you.

"Levi," you said, "why are you here?"

His face was expressionless as he gestured towards the cup in his hand. Your eyebrows furrowed and your hand went out of your pocket to grasp the carton cup he was clearly handing you. You smelled the beverage inside, relishing in the pleasant aroma of coffee. It made a smile spring out on your lips. Before you could register what was happening Levi had sat down next to you - closer than a guy with a girlfriend was supposed to sit next to another girl when they were all alone. The action made you flinch, but you didn't move away - it was a rare thing you got to sit this close to him.

You could smell his cologne - it was a fresh, strong smell that made you want to rub your face all over his chest. The male ran a hand through his ebony locks and you marvelled at the sight of his hair's softness. His body was oozing heat, beckoning you to go closer, as close as possible, and lay your head on his chest as his warm arms wrapped around you. You didn't.

"So, about today..." He started, sounding strangely stiff. You sipped from your coffee, warming your cold fingers with the cup and listening. Your stomach took one of those unpleasant turns, but you didn't let it show on your face.

"What exactly about today?"

"I don't even know if I should be discussing this with you, for all I know Farlan's sixth sense may be way too off the shitty map and you don't actually---" His confidence was gone once his panicked gaze met your curious orbs. He seemed confused, disgruntled and so many others. You were perplexed at his behaviour - was he usually this twitchy when it came down to your normal conversations? No, he wasn't, you figured a few seconds later.

"Well," you started after seeing he wouldn't continue, "I don't really know about Farlan's sixth sense, but I---"

"The kiss." He'd cut you off so abruptly you felt like he'd knocked the air out of your lungs with those two short syllables. "The kiss with Petra, it wasn't anything important. It was just a kiss." He continued, getting a hand through his hair again and scratching the back of his undercut with discomfort. "I know we both seem to acknowledge something without me saying it - something about us." You could guess where he was going with that. He meant the constant staring, all the glances and whatnot before you'd started talking. Or at least you thought he meant that. "Petra means nothing, she was just--- she was flirting with me I just didn't stop her because I wasn't sure if you... felt anything."

"... okay."

"Is it?" He asked once his eyes met yours. Your breath hitched in your throat and your fingers felt like ice even though they'd warmed up considerably. "Is it okay? Are you?"

"Everything's fine." Your forced smile turned out way more genuine than expected. His gaze was firm and his eyebrows were furrowed - he was trying to detect a lie somewhere along your sentence. He sighed when that didn't happen and for a few seconds, you were both silent. You were trying to process the situation.

Levi. Feelings. She was just flirting. Am I feeling anything?

Your heartbeat was erratic enough to answer in your stead. Then you looked up from the cup in your hands and met his gaze. You'd be lying if you said it wasn't the most mesmerizing thing you'd seen in your life. His eyes, so grey and so soft, pulled you in, it was like you couldn't look away from them. They were special, he was special and he made you feel special. Why was it that he looked at you with such affection? Were you reciprocating the gaze? You didn't know, but you felt like you could stay like that for hours.

And that was when it happened. Before you even had time to escape his warm hypnotising gaze.

He leaned in and kissed you.

7. Careless eyeroll     Reluctance

"You have to go." Hanji insisted, having already annoyed you as much as possible with her various arguments on the topic of your stubbornness.

"And you have to rethink the rights you have over my actions as a self-conscious human being." You replied boredly before placing a hand in front of your mouth in fake shock. "Oh, that's right - they don't exist in the first place." You gasped fakely, making her roll her eyes at your behaviour - forced nonchalance. She knew you wanted to accept the invitation but were too afraid everything would be ruined before you even had the chance to meet up.

"Would you please stop mocking me with those complex phrases, (Y/N)? You won't die if you go to a movie with him." The brunette insisted once more before you turned the corner and you frowned at her.

"Sure, not physically, but I'll be dying the whole time mentally - of embarrassment." You sassed, making the brown-haired girl huff in determination as she walked you to your next class. Your schedules differed the second term, so you could only see her during breaks and inbetween other classes. Right now you seriously didn't want to see her, though. She'd been pestering you about Levi's invitation for the past week.

"So it's decided, you will go." She stated, making you gape at her as you both stopped in front of the door for your next class.

"I never sa---"

"The tense, (Y/N), the tense is the key." Hanji cut you off with a cocky smirk and a mischievous gleam in her brown hues. Of course, she'd just forced you to accept. You had no choice - you knew the raven would probably remind you of it as well and you'd have to finally give him a proper answer.

"Shut up, Hanji." You glared at your best friend before she pushed you into the room.

"Now go." She ushered from the doorway while pointing in Levi's direction and you threw her a dirty look before stomping away. Less than three steps later he turned around and looked into your eyes, making you almost trip over your own feet.

"Hi." You greeted awkwardly as the male took out his notebook and eyed you up from head to toe. His gaze made you nervous and your knees were about to start wobbling when he spoke up.

"So about my earlier request, which you've been avoiding to answer for about a week?" Levi pushed gently although in a you-don't-have-a-choice-but-to-answer way, making you avert your eyes to the other side of the room in hopes of seeming calmer than you were. You knew it wouldn't work that well, but you hoped to have at least looked nonchalant.

"... I accept." Was your brief answer as your eyes glanced at Levi's visage secretly and directed themselves to the floor right after.

"I guess I should be grateful?" He rolled his eyes at you, reluctance dripping from the sentence. You knew his face would be a bit softer even though you weren't looking at it. You were good at guessing by his voice (not that it always worked), so right now you acknowledged he was just trying to tease you.

"If I don't see Petra Ral giving you a blowjob afterwards it's going to be fine." You said mockingly with narrowed eyes, which just called for some fake concern on his side. Of course, he and Petra had not become official, but anything was possible. You held resentment for that girl more than you did for yourself - that was something deserving of a medal.

"That was uncalled for." Levi tried to protect her boredly as your eyes finally met his.

"Yes, you're right, but that does not change my mind on the matter." Your tone was firm as you walked towards your own desk, close enough to his so you could connect them and look at the same coursebook. He followed behind silently.

"Fine." He mumbled while watching you put your backpack on the desk. You started digging through the numerous notebooks and course books for the ones you needed currently, which probably reminded him of your little tradition to share a coursebook. "The coursebook?" He inquired, asking if you've brought it which was stupid because you'd never forget it (no matter if you were going to admit it or not, you'd always put it first in your backpack because it gave you a reason to be close to him).

"It's here." You announced once having laid it down on the desk next to your notebook and he got to work with pushing your desks closer.

"Thank you by the way." He mumbled once class had started and your teacher had entered the room. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you looked into his bright grey eyes.

"What for?" You asked quietly as he eyed up the exercise your teacher had just written on the board. He didn't look up again for the next three seconds. All you were given after that was a brief glance filled with something you couldn't understand before Levi's eyes were pinned back to the coursebook.

"... maybe I should leave you to figure it out yourself."

8. Grinning glimmer     Happiness

The weather was calm, it was around noon and strong wind had been making the trees' branches bend mere minutes ago. Snow covered the ground all around, there had been a storm during the night and judging by the white inches stacked on top of the ground it hadn't been all that light. Now the sun was shining in the blue sky deprived of clouds and the air was cold and so still you could bet time itself wouldn't move until some wind blew by.

You fidgeted uncomfortably and stood in front of the wooden door of the small single-storey house, contemplating whether you should knock or run away now that you still had time to do it. Fate didn't really leave you a choice since just as you were about to turn round the door opened and made your eyes widen in alarm. You looked up and faced the person who had opened it with an insecure expression.

"... hey." You greeted after a small pause while Levi still processed your presence at his doorstep.

"What are you doing here?" His eyebrows furrowed and you drew your hands from behind your back, handing him the little box you were holding. The chilly air made your face go red anyway, so you hoped he wouldn't notice the change in its colour due to other causes as you talked.

"I was passing close by and I thought I could come and say 'hi'. So, hi, I guess." You smiled awkwardly, making him raise a thin eyebrow as he took the grey box from your hands. "And I bought this for you, but since we're in the middle of winter break I didn't really have a pretext to see you, so I might've created it... or something." You switched your weight between your left and right foot during your explanation while Levi stared at you wondrously.

"... for Christmas?" He questioned after a slight pause and you noticed he might've been cold judging by the way he only had on a plain pair of jeans and a sweatshirt.

"No, it's for your birthday. Happy birthday by the way." You smiled a bit, eyeing him up from head to toe again and starting to regret having come at all. You guessed it would've been better if you'd waited until the end of winter break to give it to him. "Um, I guess I have to go." You stepped backwards before he smirked slightly and a mischievous gleam shone in his eyes.

"And insult the tradition?" He inquired slyly as your eyebrows furrowed and you looked at him in confusion.

"What tradition?" You witnessed the flicker of his eyes to the doorframe above your heads and what you saw there made your breath hitch, something the raven was able to pinpoint quickly due to the chilly weather making every breath you took exit in the form of a white puff of smoke. Your eyes were still pinned to the object at the top of the doorframe. A mistletoe. "... oh. I'm not really sur---"

Before you had time to finish refusing the very generous yet embarrassing offer, Levi had stepped closer and cupped your cheek with his warm hand. His lips pressed to yours in a rather long, tender kiss and you felt yourself basically melting outside his doorstep. It was as if sparks flew about in your mind - just like the first time he'd kissed you. When his lips parted from yours and you opened your eyes, you saw his orbs glimmering so brightly it was as if he'd grinned your way.

"Thank you for the present, (Y/N)." He whispered, hot breath hitting your lips, and when he stepped back again you could swear he was mentally laughing at your frozen stance. You almost stumbled on your way away from the door.

"S-See you at school!" You waved, turning around and basically running away as fast as possible from the embarrassment, your boots crushing the soft snow under them down the path to your own home. You were a coward, but a happy feeling was bubbling in your chest, and God, for that look in his eyes you'd bear a lot more humiliation and possible snowstorms.

9. Foggy narrowness     Arousal

Indecent. That was what you were being right now.

"You shouldn't have gotten detention because of me." Levi scoffed, grey orbs eyeing the empty room you were currently in after today's accident during lunch break when he'd gone to fetch coffee for both of you and you'd waited for him by the entrance even after most students had gone back inside the building because of the bad weather.

"And you shouldn't have been an asshole to a teacher to begin with." You scolded him back, your eyes, in turn, being pinned to his face and the desperate way he was holding himself back from looking at you as well because he was supposedly mad. You were leaning on the desk he'd seated himself at, seeing as the teacher in charge of detention was still nowhere to be seen.

"He was feeling you up." Levi said as if it would justify the whole situation and indeed, it did. You didn't know what you two were - certainly not an official couple anyway, but you were closer than before and now offered each other physical affection more often without as much embarrassment being present (although it still happened when you were all alone).

Your face went cold and that was exactly when he decided to direct his gaze your way - it was cold and sharp and you knew he'd seen right through you, almost immediately so. You'd been scared. Disgusted. Your fingers started fidgeting with the hem of your shirt and you averted your gaze to the floor at your feet.

"... doesn't matter, you almost punched him." You said accusingly and Levi rolled his eyes at your stupid excuse.

"I would've if we'd been outside of school territory." He declared and something in that sentence of somewhat sweet protectiveness (although expressed through aggression) made you extremely uncomfortable. You still hadn't told him anything about your feelings and he about his, you'd only gone out on numerous dates and spent an enormous amount of time looking at each other more openly - you rarely spoke of each other's feelings and you felt discomfort just thinking of the moment that would be needed for you to sustain this thing you had going on. You didn't know if Levi thought the same. You groaned in slight exasperation and turned your head toward the door of the room.

"Ugh. Where's the teacher in charge of detention anyway? We've been here for ten minutes now." You complained, wanting to talk of something else since it was obvious the raven had won this little argument of yours. Levi took the chance to stand up and lean close to you and when you turned back round his eyes were way closer than anticipated.

They pulled you in but weren't as sharp as every other day. When he leaned closer and kissed you, you got a hunch why it was that way. During the kiss, his hand placed itself on your thigh and his whole body hovered over yours like predator hovered over pray prior to the finishing blow.

"... the teacher can come in any second now, Levi." You warned firmly yet in a small voice once the raven had started kissing down your neck. You felt giddy because it was nice and wow - since when was that so pleasant? Your previous boyfriends had also done this, but with Levi, it wasn't quite the same - maybe it was him or maybe it was the circumstances and the chance of you getting caught by a teacher, but you felt extremely good, almost to the point you'd let it go further despite the way you were in a classroom.

"I'm aware." The raven droned from the crook of your neck where he'd been sucking on a second ago and you let out a sharp breath when his hand snuck under your shirt. His head lifted so he could face you again and his eyes were on your lips.

"Then stop." You kept playing the role of common sense even though this situation wasn't entirely all that dangerous. Levi's smoky hues were pinned to your own and you noticed they were more narrow than usual, like he didn't even want to waste energy on keeping them open but he just had to. For a second you thought the whole look on his face was something you didn't come across every day or even when you were alone. When he kissed you again it dawned on you why.

His lips pressed against yours felt soft and pleasant, his breath was made of tea and mint and it turned your mind hazy. You felt like half the blood in your body went to your face when his tongue invaded your mouth and his hands found your breasts over your bra. You felt the softness of his hair but were so out of it you were unable to open your eyes. Or do anything but kiss him. You couldn't recall feeling the same way during your make-out sessions with your previous boyfriends - this was a whole new sensation, a combination of thrill and something that made your face flush as your chest swelled with pleasant warmth.

"They won't do anything to us for this." He declared as if he made the rules and you had to blink a few times to come to your senses - your arms were thrown around his neck, your fingers were in his hair and your legs were wrapped around his waist - how long had this kiss been? He was looking down at you in the sexiest way possible and honestly, how could you possibly refuse that face?

"They can do a lot to us for what's about to follow." You worded warningly, knowing where things would go if you didn't resist even though a small part of you told you he'd never dare do it in school when it would be your first time together. You didn't listen to it, keeping in mind your all-time favourite motto that all men were pigs and they'd take advantage of any and every situation that provided it.

Levi didn't. He kept kissing you, left you breathless, gifted you a few hickeys to go home with and gave you a lot more of that sultry look that almost made your knees give out, but never provided you with legitimate proof of your motto's rightfulness and it was about at that moment when you were walking home afterwards when you realised---

If you hadn't been at school you would've certainly had sex and what was worse - you wouldn't have had anything against it had it been with him.

10. Calculating ice       Thoughtfulness

"I don't approve of this relationship." You heard Levi take a breath from across the form of your father and his crossed arms.

"Dad, Levi isn't---" You tried to argue but were quickly shut up. It was seven in the morning. Thankfully, also a Saturday.

"Oh, he is! He invited you to that party and when you were so wasted you couldn't walk he could only think of how to park you in his bed! The next morning you call us with a hangover and this punk walks you here because apparently you've been together for almost about a year now but he still doesn't know where you live!" You frowned, not possessing enough bravery to speak against your father. Fortunately, you had your mother for that.

"James, calm down." She placed a hand on his shoulder as he grumbled in his armchair. You and Levi were seated on the couch, still in your pyjamas.

"I don't want to, Melissa! I don't like this boy and I don't want him around my daughter!" Even though it was a hiss directed at your mother, all occupants of the room including the aforementioned 'boy' managed to hear it. You looked over at Levi next to you, pondering whether you should grasp his hand or think up an excuse to let him leave before this became a full-on argument.

"Our daughter." Your mother's voice was firm and her eyes didn't dare leave your father's face to console you but you were too indulged in the look on Levi's face to notice it. Or in other words, the lack of a particular look on his face.

"If she's yours as much as she's mine then why aren't you worried about her as well?" Your father argued, making your frown deepen. The raven next to you had his elbows propped on his knees and his eyes staring at the carpet under his feet. His expression was devoid of any emotion - his face was perfectly relaxed with the exception of his furrowed eyebrows. His eyes were filled with thoughts you couldn't decipher, the usual grey now felt like frozen silver.

"I'm sure he means well, if they've been in a relationship for a year and this is the first mistake he's made, he can't possibly be bad influence." Your mother's voice was hushed but you heard it - Levi did, too. You placed a hand over the one he'd put on his knee. You could feel his finger tapping the fabric of his jeans as if he tried to tune everything else out and concentrate - he did that during tests at school.

"... I'm sorry, Levi." You whispered, bringing your face slightly closer to his. He didn't look at you. The ice in his eyes kept still, pinned to the floor. "Don't listen to him, I know just as much as you do we're both at fault." The regret was heard in your voice but the raven decided not to address it. He pursed his lips, then parted them.

"Maybe your father's right." His gaze was still on the floor. Still icy.

"He's not!" You raised your voice, briefly noting how your parents had stopped their own discussion and were now listening to yours. Your fingers slowly retracted from Levi's hand as he looked at you, face not changing in the least. You felt the gelidity in his eyes freeze the blood in your veins.

"Should we end this?" He questioned in a small voice - small but firm. Your reaction was immediate. Your expression hardened and you glared daggers his way, eyebrow twitching. You pursed your lips, forming a proper reply although a very big 'no' would work just as well.

"When it hasn't even started officially? I refuse." You spat, way more coldly than anticipated. Levi's eyes didn't soften, he was still considering this as a possibility. Your parents, however, were shocked. You grasped Levi's hand again, glare softening to a firm gaze instead. You attempted to make him change his mind - ten seconds were needed for you to succeed.

And afterwards, you swore, you didn't want to have to do it again.

11. Bright shine       Love

"Your boyfriend's got quite the style." Hanji showed up during the break, linking her arm with yours and leading you down the hallway to your next class together. You raised an eyebrow at her statement, not so much as the person who was addressed in it - she'd started calling Levi 'your boyfriend' although he still hadn't confirmed your couple status. "Everybody's discussing it. The girls mostly." She whispered devilishly in your ear, smirking rather big.

Your brows knitted together in oblivion as you walked to your next class. It was a class you also had with Levi. You'd see what Hanji had meant in just a minute. Before that, you had to get into the classroom, though, and at the current moment, it proved a near-impossible task with all the girls in front of it.

Some had their arms linked like you and Hanji, others were pretending to walk around, third leaned on the walls and some just didn't put effort into being subtle - they were the ones standing at the very door and looking inside. Your face turned sour like you'd bitten into a lemon and you glanced at Hanji. Was this what she had meant? All the girls were discussing something, giggling inbetween phrases and shooting frantic glances at the door.

"Students coming through, I've a VIP package to deliver to the hot guy inside, you know!" Hanji called out loudly, making you choke on your own spit in embarrassment. Then, as the girls actually let you pass and stared at you in confusion, you made sure to metaphorically stab her with your glare a few times. She only chuckled, and then you were inside the classroom.

Levi was... quick to notice. He popped out amongst the rest inside, not so much because of the fact he looked good but because his no-white clothes policy had obviously taken over him completely as he'd been choosing today's attire this morning. He was wearing a black, long-sleeved button-up shirt, tucked into a pair of impeccably ironed black dress pants. The dress coat and shining shoes were touches that people noticed when looking further into it. And the glare he had on surely prevented most from doing it.

Hanji let go of your arm and pushed you in his direction, he was sitting at his desk, already having adjoined it with yours, and attempting to ignore the people around him. You walked forward, self-conscious because of the all-black dress you were wearing and how it would quickly draw attention. Had it been a coincidence for you to match colours?

"Good morning." You greeted once having taken a seat next to him. "You're the talk of school today as it seems." You tried making your voice nonchalant. The few gazes on your forms, dressed so similarly and sitting next to each other, was plain frustrating.

"And you're my VIP package." Levi stated boredly from the desk next to yours, looking up and into your eyes. He saw them widen as pink tinted your cheeks. You thought he wouldn't have been able to hear. "Hanji tends to be a bit louder than needed." He informed when you dared not address the topic yourself.

"I know. So, what's the occasion for your attire? Are you attempting another gothic phase?" You joked with a small smirk, eyeing his clothes from up close and admiring the way he managed to look good in all black. It made him seem a bit more grown-up, contrasting his porcelain skin yet matching the colour of his ebony locks. His eyes were a nice addition. If you didn't know him, you'd think he was a college graduate, not a senior in high school.

"The funeral's right after classes end right? I thought I'd come since you'll be representing your family all alone. You were telling Hanji on the phone you didn't know anyone there, so now you'll know me." His voice, indifferent yet soft, made your stomach take a warm turn before a giant grin pulled at the corners of your mouth. You covered it with your hand as Levi met your gaze and added: "You'll have to introduce me as your boyfriend, though."

Oh God. This was it. You knew Levi. You knew his expressions and his voice and his eyes. And they told you what you'd been waiting for - a confirmation.

"Sure, it won't be hard." You showed him your grin with a small shrug just as the teacher entered the room, having shooed away all the girls in the hallway. You quickly pulled out your notebook and the coursebook you shared with Levi for the second school year in a row, placing them in the middle of your desk. You opened your notebook and stared at the empty lines with a smile.

Hello, this is my boyfriend, Levi. You giggled as quietly as possible and Levi shot you a questioning look.

"Just practising." His features didn't soften but his eyes shone abnormally in your direction - they were tender and so bright it could've been blinding, but you found it mesmerizing. Your heart fluttered in your chest and you felt Levi's hand on top of your own. You bit back a smile. It wasn't a success.

God, how I love this boy. The realisation that followed wasn't even something that you minded. It just made you smile harder. Because somewhere along the bored lines and the bright gaze you could see he loved you just as much.

"So, what in the fucking hell are you reading?" Your boyfriend's question brings you back to reality and you blink at him for a few seconds before having collected your thoughts. You look back down at the notebook. The sentence is highlighted in neon yellow and it's giving you a weird feeling.

"Just... Psychology." You answer simply, contemplating the end and the beginning. From indifference to love. From glances to being together. From strangers to lovers. And now...?

"And it's funny because?" He questions and in return you snort condescendingly.

"Well, because it's so stupidly inaccurate tha---" You look up and the word dies at the back of your throat. He's looking at you with confusion, but under that, there's a silver layer of warmth that makes your heart skip a beat. You gulp and laugh in spite of yourself, he raises an eyebrow. "You know what? I don't even know anymore."

"Are you okay?" He gets a hand through his ebony locks and you watch, as always mesmerized by the little gestures he performs.

"Perfectly fine." You give him a small smile as he looks at you expectantly. He knows you want to say something, that something's prodding at your thoughts. Spill the beans, his gaze tells. And you do. "Have I told you I love you?" You blurt out, borderline nervously. You feel weird but it's not because of him, it's because of the realisation that has dawned on you.

"Just yesterday actually." He informs casually and picks up his cup of tea. Only a tea-lover like him drinks it during the summer. Or a psychopath - it is yet to be decided. You eye him for a few seconds but pause right before responding.

"... good." You say with a soft smile. He meets your gaze and he's still clueless but somehow he's seen something that makes him utter a simple 'stupid' under his breath as he rolls his eyes. You say nothing in return to the subtle insult.

"So, are you going to next week's exam or sleeping?"

"The latter sounds tempting." You respond, making him snort.

"Of course it does."

"You?" You question back and his gaze meets yours, you feel the air of superiority around him and already know what he'll say.

"Yeah, and if I pass I have to wait for the winter exams." He explains boredly, twirling your pen in his hold as you close up your old Psychology notebook.

"Cool. I have to take it and two others. Then I can get some rest." You sigh longingly and he glares.

"And work done."

"Oh, don't bring it up." You roll your eyes and your shoulders sag in despair. Your boyfriend is not one to obey orders, he's usually the one to give them. His imperative gaze settles on your pleading one and he opens his mouth.

"You were the one who told me to start working on a fucking book. Better work on your own stupid paintings." He commands, making you groan in exasperation. If it wasn't for you he wouldn't be halfway done with his brick of a suspense novel, but if it wasn't for him you wouldn't be past your first painting. And you wouldn't have found a buyer for it. But now you have to do more paintings and you just can't figure out your muse. You've little to no motivation and the exams are stressing you out while your boyfriend sips on his tea and has the audacity to tell you to get your ass moving.

"Fine." You groan with finality, admitting your loss. "Sometimes I really hate your perfectionist ass, Levi."

"And sometimes I really hate your slothful ass, but opposites attract. That's what Hanji says right?" His grey hues glisten mockingly and you smirk.

"Often when you're mentioned, yes." You confirm, smug look melting into an affectionate expression as Levi grasps your hand and interlocks your fingers. "It's a little hot for that." You inform and when he starts to let go, you grab onto his fingers tightly and smile. "I never said you should let go." The pointed phrase meets only a huff as your boyfriend sips from his tea.

You meet his gaze and try to remember a time when you haven't been mesmerised by his eyes. There isn't such a moment. You become aware of the look he's giving you, your smile grows and your eyes soften. Three years later and he hasn't changed a bit. You catch yourself returning the affectionate gaze as a conclusion settles into your mind.

There is very little that can make you change your opinion on the matter of this stupid eye to soul connection.

Very little but it's there - efficient and determined.

And his name is Levi.

[glitxhwayventeen]

Lonely Together

Jihoon: Chapter 2 (Dark Side)

Characters: Jihoon x female reader

Genre/Warnings: multi-member au (different scenarios), werewolf au, fantasy, angst, fluff, potential blood mentions, genocide, runaways, health issue mentions, weapon mentions, panic attack description? (Though honestly it’s more of an anxiety attack), death mentions, child abandonment mentions. Any others will be put as warnings when future chapters are thought up/written.

Author’s Note: I recommend listening to Dark Side by R5. I thought the actual lyrics to the song gave off a solid vibe that I wanted to transfer to the start of this particular chapter.

Please remember that all of these chapters and the content within them are a work of fiction! They’re just for fun/entertainment!

Bold= Dialogue Italics= Thoughts

🥀 & ☁️

Lonely Together Master List

Chapter 2: Dark Side

When you woke up this morning, you had the sweet scent of Vanilla and honey hit your nose. It was warm and inviting and made you feel safe. You were glad, normally you’d never feel safe in the wild. The pack helped a lot with that issue. But when you woke up today, you noticed that you had woken up to a quiet house. Which was… strange to say the least. There was always some sort of ruckus going on downstairs in the early hours. So you figured you’d go investigate cautiously, in case something had happened. You grabbed your thigh garter belt with your knives attached before you quietly made your way down the stairs. You saw and heard no one. Nothing was wrong or out of place. Everyone was just… gone. But why?

“Boy, you come prepared don’t you?” A male voice said from the stairs, causing you to jolt back in surprise, automatically drawing your knife from its holster on sheer instinct, ready to release it at any given moment.

You relaxed and placed it back to your thigh as you realized it was just Jihoon, one of the less spoken wolves of the pack.

He was only a few inches taller than you, but you were still incredibly intimidated by him. You weren’t sure why all the others were terrified to piss him off, even the alphas, but you were never worried he’d get mad at you. Which was weird, you were always skeptical of everyone, it was just in your nature as a rogue wolf.

However, with him, it wasn’t horror that overtook your veins, it was nervousness. Like you had some sort of school girl crush on him and you were worried you’d mess something up in front of him and die from the embarrassment of it. But why? Why would you care what some rando wolf would think of you when you’d probably be leaving in a bit when your wounds were healed better?

“Jesus Jihoon! You know I could’ve killed you right? Didn’t your parents ever tell you not to fuck with a bitch with knives?” You huffed out in annoyance while slapping you hands over your face, praying that he hadn’t seen your cherry red cheeks yet.

Of course he had though. He never took his eyes off of you whenever you were in a room. You were just too zoned off to notice

“Uh no… Not really. Never had them so they didn’t teach me shit. Not that any of that matters. We both know you’d never hurt anyone if you could help it.” He shrugged, nudging past you to make his way to the fridge for a bite to eat with a small smile pasted on his glorious lips. God he annoyed you.

“You don’t know that. I always come prepared, I could be a serial killer for all any of you know” you cooly threw his way as you let your guard down slightly, for some reason trusting him enough to have a semi civilized conversation alone.

“Yeah yeah you’re a little vicious killer. Whatever you say kid” He laughed out, trying to keep his amusement in check at your quick replies.

You gritted your teeth, “Hey I am not a kid! I’m centuries old! MUCH older than you.” You smugly responded to his bitch ass nickname for you.

Jihoon looked you up and down for a second, making you a bit self conscious and spreading a heat down to your lower belly, “You don’t look older than me. Matter of fact, you look like the youngest one here. So I’m gonna keep calling you kid, kid.” He leaned in close to you and whispered seductively in your ear.

“Where- where is everyone?” You stuttered out, trying your best not to focus on the minimal contact Jihoon had made with your shoulder while brushing past you moments ago. Curse your dumb instincts. Why did you have to find him attractive? Couldn’t your wolf side ever just stay in check?

“The market? No, to Taeyong’s? Maybe it was to the river? I dont know by the time they left it didn’t seem like they even knew where they were going so I stopped listening.” He answered while taking a bit of an apple he had snagged from the fruit basket on the counter.

“W-why didn’t you go with them?” You questioned him as you tried your best to avoid his piercing gaze.

“Didn’t feel like third wheeling a bunch of mated coupled wolves.” He shrugged once more while sitting himself on the kitchen table you were next to, “Plus, someone needed to stay here and keep an eye on the house.”

“I would’ve been here.” You chimed in, as if he would’ve ever seriously left you alone.

Whether you were a Werewolf or not, he was NOT gonna leave you without some sort of safety net if he could help it. If he had it his way, you wouldn’t even go down to the market with the other mates when supplies were needed. He knew you could handle yourself as a fellow wolf, and he knew you were the best to go because you weren’t marked yet, but he was worried for you.

You definitely had people looking at you because of your different appearance. You were drop dead gorgeous to anyone with eyes, and that greatly concerned him every-time you went out shopping. He may have been more of a lone wolf, but he wanted to protect you at all cost, even if you didn’t realize that’s what he was doing yet.

“Doesn’t count. You’re a FANCY werewolf, remember?” He emphasized the word fancy in a condescending way that irked your nerves all the way to your core.

“We don’t know what you can do yet. Besides, you act like I’d actually want to go watch them make goo goo eyes at each other all day long. Seeing them cuddle and dry hump the whole time we’re doing something isn’t my idea of fun. I’d rather be here and enjoy the peace and quiet while I can.” He said as he tossed the remains of his apple in the garbage can in one swift motion.

“I can do everything you guys can and more!” You defended yourself, getting a bit frustrated at the younger wolf for doubting your abilities.

“Then prove it. Do something… super wolfy” he chuckled out, half jokingly and half seriously in what a normal person would recognize as a flirty manner.

He hadn’t had too many girlfriends. His experience with girls was limited compared to his brothers. So sticking to his sarcastic edgy tone was the only way he knew how to engage with you.

He was curious as to what your powers entailed anyways. They all were, none of them had met a wolf like you before. All the wolves they knew were modern, and the only seriously powerful wolf they knew was from a Chinese pack that had fled to their area who could communicate with heaven, hell, and the nether realms. They had heard stories that had been passed down for some generations about what wolves were like long ago, but none of it was confirmed because nearly all had been killed or died off. So they wanted to see if you could actually do all the things from the legends they heard about your people. For all they knew, you could fly.

You hesitated for a moment, trying your best to think of something, anything that you could do that would shut him up and prove your point. But everything you thought of required you to be much stronger than you currently were. None of the visible powers you had were working right now due to the small amount of silver still running through your system. Even if you were working at full strength and weren’t hurt, you had never been able to use your powers to their full extent do to something having been wrong with you since birth.

“… I- I cant.” You sighed in defeat while bringing your head down to look at your hands.

“Why not?” He wondered aloud, not even really meaning to tease you, he just let the innocent question slip from his lips without thinking.

“Because I got hurt and I have no way to get better! My entire pack is dead! Everyone I love is dead! I don’t have a mate! I need some sort of connection to the people around me to heal faster and I don’t have one anymore! I need one or the other to have my powers come back this quickly after such a traumatic incident and I have neither! I’m fucked up and I’ve been fucked up for a long time okay!” You snapped, your eyes now bleeding and turning emerald green from anger as you yelled at him.

Once you saw his confused and remorseful expression, you quickly closed your eyes and turned around to try and calm down. You didn’t mean to go after him like that, but you were already very worried about your own health not coming back and the taunting tone in his voice just made you break. You could feel the hurt in his heart. It made you want to cry, you didn’t mean to yell at him. You were just a very touchy person who had been asked about a very touchy subject.

“I- I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get upset. I just- I’m concerned for myself and this conversation… well it made the concerns I already had skyrocket. But that’s not your fault. You would’ve had no way of knowing that. I apologize for getting mad at you over something so childish.” You earnestly said, trying your best to look him in the eyes without blushing from embarrassment.

He quickly moved his head down to look at his lap. He understood your pain. He could feel it everyday. You were his mate, he already did have a connection to you. He knew when you were sad or hurt or worried. He knew that you weren’t just in physical pain, but emotional pain as well. He wished he could take it all away from you so you never felt a negative feeling again. But he just couldn’t. Though, he was upset at himself for making it worse for you. Why did he always have to try and stir the pot? Couldn’t he just leave well enough alone? Couldn’t he just be cool around you and know when to stop?

“It’s okay. I… I understand what it’s like. To not have anyone I mean. I didn’t realize that you actually had to have those things in order to heal better though. With wolves now, we don’t necessarily have to have those things. I mean having them helps, but we get better eventually anyways as long as we get the wound cleaned properly. I didn’t know it was different for you...” He bit his lip as he continued, “But you know, our pack can be your pack, if you want anyway. There’s an opening for another ticking time bomb now that Chan’s found a mate. You’d be perfect for the job” he joked, though you could tell he was serious at the offer for you to join the pack.

“Yeah… how much does it pay an hour?” You played along, trying to lighten the mood from the tension you had made appear due to your little anger outburst.

You hurriedly propped yourself up on the table next to Jihoon, who gave you a small smile in return. It gave you goosebumps all over your skin. So you were thankful you had grabbed a large sweater the pack had given you before you went downstairs this morning.

You were given a bunch of them. They made you feel safe, and you loved the way they smelt. So when the other mates apologized and said they didn’t have many ‘girly clothing items’ to give you as getting clothing was sparse at the moment, you didn’t complain. You were perfectly content with your bigger clothing.

When you sat up on the table, you smelt the same scent of vanilla and honeysuckle that you nostrils had been absorbing from the clothing given to you…

“Not a lot.” Jihoon confessed, “we only offer housing, protection, and being around people who would do anything for you. But honestly, you could do a lot worse in terms of a career.” He bit his lip once more, the action drawing a small pur from your chest, which you tried to cover with a small cough. Of course he still caught the sound though. You weren’t even sure why looking at him made you that happy. The sound made Jihoon swoon, he loved that he already had such an impact on you.

“Of course there’s also some downside like with all jobs… like having to constantly break up fights, having a complete jackass for a mate, and well… you know… sharing bathrooms…” he trailed on, rubbing his neck while he attempted to make it seem like the middle part was casual.

“Wait! A complete WHAT for a WHO and WHERE was I???” You all but yell out in shock, making Jihoon wince.

He couldn’t tell if you were upset that he’d just burst it out like that. He honestly couldn’t even tell if you knew you were his mate or not. He didn’t know if you WANTED a mate or not. From what he knew of you, you usually stayed away from people unless you had to be around them. You told the others that staying alone is how you’d survived all these centuries. But Would you make an exception to your rules for survival to stay with him?

“Uh… yeah. A mate. That would- that would be me. I’m your mate…” He whispered, attempting as best as he could to regain control of his heartbeat that was now almost pounding out of his chest.

That’s when it all clicked in your head. Why they let you eat first with the mates, with the OTHER mates. You were one of them. It’s why they found you when you needed help, he must’ve felt you were in danger. It’s why you didn’t die that day even though your wounds would’ve been normally fatal even to you, because he was near you and never left your side. It’s why you weren’t scared of him like everyone else, you knew he’d never hurt you because he loved you. It’s why the pack always giggled anytime you and Jihoon would get near each other. It’s why the smell on your sweaters and his smell were so familiar, he gave them to you because you were his. You two were mates. It all made sense.

“We’re- we’re mates?” You reaffirmed out loud, but you started to feel dizzy. You weren’t sure what was happening.

Everything was going too fast, it felt like you were moving in slow motion but the entire world was spinning as fast as it could around you. The edges of your vision started becoming fuzzy and dark. You started to feel like you were going to pass out, but before you could fall flat on your face to the floor, Jihoon caught your fragile body in his arms.

“Yes. We are. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you earlier, but I wanted to give you some time to adjust to being around normal people before I told you.” He assured you as he started moving towards the stairs, bringing you to his room and setting you down on his bed. He was incredibly worried for you, he could hear your heart rate slowing by the second.

“You might need to lay down. You don’t look well” he spoke softly as he held the back of one of his larger hands to your clammy forehead.

“Yeah… okay… rest… that makes sense… I’m sorry I- I just wasn’t expecting-” You tried to say as you start to give into the panicking darkness, not wanting to fight the urge to black out anymore.

“It’s okay. It’s a lot to take in. Just try and sleep okay?” He shushed you as he moved his blankets over your petite form, hesitant to touch you as he didn’t want to make matters worse. But his inner wolf was screaming at him to hold you and rock you to help you.

Everything you had heard about Jihoon told you he wasn’t someone who could have a relationship. All the others always talked about him wanting no one around him ever. They called him a grumpy old rogue wolf who miraculously got stuck in their pack. They said that He did things his own way. He did things alone. So did you.

“Jihoon, how the hell are we supposed to be together when we’re both lone wolves?” You whimpered out to him before everything went dark.

Another Author’s Note: alright so you guys know the drill. I wrote this close to midnight and I’m too tired to care about revising rn. So i shall look at it and fix any mistakes tomorrow when I get the time. Tomorrow I don’t think I’ll be praying more than once. Sorry, I’m working a doubt shift. But Wednesday I’m hoping to post three times! Here’s to hoping!

(Updated 9/6)

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

Let’s talk: The uncertainty of Vminnies

by Admin 2

What has happened in the past few weeks? Why is there fear/uncertainty/insecurity among vminnies? Has anything changed between Vmin?  

Let’s look at Jimin’s 2020 birthday wishes for Taehyung on twitter.

At first glance, they are nothing special. They even caused some strange reactions among vminnies, as if people were expecting something grand or special. If we look at these birthday wishes a little more closely, however, we will find more "hidden" messages/meaning there than we think or realize upon first glance. Jimin wishes Taehyung a "happy birthday my friend/chingu" (a famous reference to Friends) and then Jimin adds: "let us live long and healthy". These are Jimin's wishes to Tae. That is, he (Jimin) and Tae (as the person who receives these wishes) should live long and healthy lives. Doesn't that sound like wishes for the both of them at the same time?

More below the cut:

Then everyone became interested in the cartwheel emoji Jimin used in his birthday tweet. We know this emoji from a past post Tae made when replying to an ARMY on weverse in which he described his great love for ARMY, how even if he’d outstretch his arms and legs it wouldn’t be enough to describe his love for them. What is the chances that Jimin unintentionally and completely coincidentally used the same emoji out of hundreds of emojis there are to choose from and that have nothing thematically to do with birthday wishes or birthdays in general? Usually a heart, a glass of champagne, a "100 years" or a flower is used for such occasions. The chances of Jimin accidentally choosing the same emoji as Tae for ARMY is basically as likely as winning the lottery, so to speak.

In my opinion, Jimin knew exactly what he was doing (since he always controls the situation and carefully considers what he’s doing in places where ARMY can see it) and chose this consciously and not any another emoji. Also Jimin loves Tae so much that he cannot describe it even when he reaches out his arms and legs! Regardless how you look at it, platonic or romantic, it’s simply cute and none of it shows any kind of sign of them having fallen out with each other or any such nonsense. This shows that he knows exactly what Tae is doing on social media and what he is posting, even if he himself isn’t that active anymore. The attached photo of Jimin, Hobi and Tae at the same time is no coincidence either. Whatever reason for choosing that one in particular he might’ve had, only they know, but perhaps by posting a picture of the three of them, instead of just a selca with Tae, he could avoid people trying to create some kind of weird story around vmin the way they’ve done in the past where every millimeter was analyzed and weird theories were created about Jimin trying to sabotage Tae etc. Also perhaps he simply chose that picture because they’re both close with Hobi, and we all know how much Hobi adores them.

Personally, I think we (as in vminnies) are right! Something has changed. I have some theories that may be completely stupid, but I'll write them anyway.

Taehyung is very happy lately. I haven’t seen him like this before, or at least not in a long time. He seems to be in such a good mood and relaxed. I first noticed it during the LGO/BE release vlive where Tae was supposed to paint Jimin’s lips. Later, during his birthday vlive, I felt that he was just so happy. So if Vmin has a romantic relationship, then in my opinion Vmin has settled their status. Personal life remains private and BTS Jimin and BTS V are members of BTS and do their jobs. 

However, if VMIN aren’t in a romantic relationship, Tae's happiness comes from completely different reasons (professional and personal ones) unrelated to Jimin. In such case I wouldn’t though quite understand his Weverse spams and Jimin related posts, as well as things like him snuggling up against Jimin in that Winter Package photo shoot and other such situations. 

If Vmin are just best friends, why are they acting so weird around each other at times? What's stopping them from behaving with each other like they do with the other BTS members? Why don't they show they are "only friends" like Tae with Jin or Jimin with Jungkook? As "best friends" they “should” even (in the name of the band's motto) demonstrate their connection and make their friendship known, as they did with their song. However, they don't. Their "moments" and physical closeness are rare on camera. Why is that? 

My (logical) answer is that VMIN is more than just friends and that is not to be shown. Firstly, it goes far beyond the band, and secondly, it probably doesn’t fit with BHs plans. I don't want to say that someone is hiding them or anything. No! I think it's a conscious choice that Vmin and their team at BH made, for themselves (to spare themselves even more hate than they already get for basically as dumb a reason as breathing next to each other) and also due to outside reasons. It’s a known fact that gay relationships are an issue in Korea (and many other places around the world), as well as idols dating in general, so it wouldn't be surprise to me if even the idea of showing any of it would simply go against various contracts with investors, marketing, politics and the public opinion. 

If Vmin were not romantic, not even friends, but two members that secretly hate each other, as some antis love to suggest and insinuate, then I see no reason for such strange behavior. Vmin are professionals, and if that were the case, as in bad blood between the members, no one would know about it or ever find out about it. We’d never realize it or even feel anything like that happening. If that were the case, Tae wouldn’t be posting about Jimin on Weverse, and Jimin wouldn't specifically point out things like him laughing all day thanks to Tae. After all, back in 2018, nobody suspected that BTS had gotten so close to disbanding until they told us about it, or that Outro: Tear was a song born out of the emotions they felt at that time. So if vmin continue to post things and say these things, chances are things are going well and there is simply no reason to worry.

And here I come back to my original conclusion that Vmin is simply something more that cannot be shown and that they don’t want to showcase blatantly to the public in front of the cameras. They don't want to give people reasons and material for them to go and create those twisted YouTube videos with manipulative alternative facts of jealousy or anger or whatever else they create for fake drama and clickbait. And yet we saw Jimin comment on a post containing drawings of him and Tae and complemented the person, which, among other things, makes me think that vmin is still very much vmin.

In my opinion, 95z is (still) love.

I know Admin 1 posted something similar to this yesterday, but I wanted to add my two cents to the conversation as well.

[shyrose57]

Part 2 with da angst

2: Young Ranbob did not understand at all what was going on, infact he refused to believe he ever had anything to do with the sabotages, it was only when Dream took over completely and gave Ranbob enough of his mind to know what he was doing, did he finally accept it. He tried and tried to break Dreams control and get control of his body back, but nothing he did ever really worked, and the more he tried Dream eventually began to punish him, forcing him to stop. He felt aboustely awful, like a failure, a murder, and just a shitty person during all of this. His journal shows basically all of his mental decline, it went from normal, him recording special things during the day, to semi-normal, him expression concern and fear over the sabotages and killings (with some out of place words or sentences here and there appearing half way through, showing Dreams presence), to recordings from someone with obvious mental distress (misspelled words, extreme fear, showing fear of himself, hasty writings and drawings, very obviously out of place sentences (their neater than the rest and written differently, written by Dream), and meaningless words and sentences, obviously trying to say something but not knowing how too), all they way to flipping entries of when Ranbob is in control (sadness, despair, hasitly done, regret, and just heavy sentences) to when Dream is in control (Neat writing, stating "facts", showing a level of glee). Ranbob does still have it, he actually still uses it to record what happens in the groups and how far he's come. To the Gladiators its more of a "Hey I found this thing, lets read this thing." "No let's not read the thing." "Im going to ignore you and read it anyway.". The pictures are from the current ruined state of the City of Mizu, and pictures showing Ranbob at the fishermens house, struggling to walk and even eat on his own, though a few are from before Dream ever got a hold of Ranbob. 

3: The way you just said "Causally drops some trauma on them, huh?" And "Traumatized gremlins" made me laugh so much. Its so accurate and made me just think of the brothers vibing toghere before I just pop in and drop tons of trauma on them before dipping. "Ah, damn, the opponent stared me in my chest." "WHY ARE YOU SO CALM ABOUT THIS!? YOUR BLEEDING OUT!" "Oh im used to this. Trust me I'll survive...probably." "RAN I SWEAR!". And "Ranbob when did you last eat?" "Uhhh, 2 days ago I think." "..." "D-did I eat too soon? I dont have to eat for another day or two max-" "Ranbob shut up and eat." "B-but-" "If you dont eat I'll tell Benjamin." "OK ok I'll eat."  Ran thinks its normal to get stabbed often, while Ranbob thinks its normal to only eat every 2 or 3 days, and to not sleep for a long time. There is one particular hunter that's been hunting him the longest, they go by Raq and are the most determined to get Ran, though they don't plan on killing him, but rather kidnapping him and exploting him for pearls. It was a bit hard at first, Ran kept having to leave to wander around the City for a bit, though he eventually successfully got accustomed to staying in one place, though he does sometimes wish he could travel again. 

4: A bit of everything, him getting violent and trying to run at first. But after that it fades more into what resembles a depressive state, with him refusing to move and crying while being lost in his head. He requires space to move around but be monitored in the first state, while for the second he needs constant comfort and physical contact. The aftermath was the fishermen and Jackie staying close to Ranbob for the next 2 days, while Grievous and Watson try to find Ran after he stormed off in anger and disbelief. Ran does know what a relapse means, but during the time he believes Ranbobs relapse might be something else (like his facade faulting maybe).

5: Not long at all, while Ran is carrying Jackie and Cletus makes fun of them as Ranbob is following him, Jackie quickly points out how Ranbob is like a lost puppy, and the same thing is basically happening to the two of them, but showed different ways. (The brothers making sure their family is safe by sticking close to them).

6: By the time they travel to Subbin, Ranbob has gained like 80 pounds and is a way more healthy weight and looks much more healthier than when the fishermen first found him. 

7: Their usually either getting materials, looking around the area/exploring, being taught things by someone, or sleeping. Charles was the one who revived the nickname! He called him that when trying different tactics to calm him down from a nightmare, Ranbob immediately froze and after a while started to cry, Charles panicked but Ranbob quickly comforted him, saying he just hasn't heard Bobby used in such a long time and brings back both incredibly happy and incredibly sad memories. And with permission, Charles starts using it more. Ran also freezes when hearing it, immediately going ridged and almost ripping a map he has in his hands, when asked by Grievous what was wrong, he just growled out nothing and moved on. Though he does mull over it later, conflicting emotions running all over him. 

8: Helping separate Ran and Ranbob was already big for the gladiators. As most people would just watch with glee. Then when they get time to talk and make the connection between Ran and Ranbob, they decide to make a exception and willingly put in effort to bond with the other group. Also them just naturally connecting made the bonding and trust easy between the groups. 

9: They do both! They keep some books, pictures, and other stuff, but sell others as relics. Ranbob mostly disapproves of them selling the items, but also knows it'll probably be best to sell them, and have them either spread the story of Mizu as a warning, or have the story of Mizu destroyed by assumptions and twisting of the story. 

10: I'm thinking maybe a Wilbur decendent is inhabiting a certain town, and when the groups stop in for a break, Wilbur decendant  houses them and listens to their story, and tries to help?

11: They mostly just find them, they either find them in book stores or ruined towns and cities (maybe I can put The Masquerade tale in here somewhere), a wide range of people, from scholars to plain history nerds, to books from during the time of the SMP itself to books written by seemingly no one. Ranbob finds some himself, mostly when exploring with the group. I think I misworded this! Dream is the one who compared Ranbobs journal to Ranboos memory book! Ranbob knows of Ranboos memory book but he himself doesn't see the connection. Ran feels all of the above. He is extremely ashamed and disappointed in himself for hurting his brother, he hugs him tightly and apologizes non-stop, promising to make it all up to him, and while he asks for forgiveness he also says he doesnt expect for his brother to forgive him. Once he finally sees Dream for real though he's the first one to blindly attack and try to kill em. Though he doesnt succeed. 

12: No one expect the brothers where outside in the rain when they fought. So no one knew of what was happening. Its only when Ran finally joined them, but alone, did they get scared and alarmed. And when Ran admits they got into a fight and Ranbob ran off, the fishermen immediately start yelling at Ran and run off to find Ranbob, screaming his name into the deafening thunder. Grievous follows them but Watson and Jackie hang back a bit, Jackie just looks at Ran with a heartbroken expression, tears in his eyes, and asks, with his voice shaking and laced with sadness, "Why can't you at least try to accept him, you dont have to like or forgive him, but why can't you just let him heal?" "Jackie..you dont know what's he done-" "I do know! And I'm willing to help him change and recover! You can't and your his brother! What kind of family member are you?" Ran tries to respond but Jackie just chokes and shakes his head at him, running off to follow the others. Watson then speaks up, simply saying "Mate, your doing more than hurting Ranbob at this point." Before running off to follow and join the others. Ran feels horrible, even before being confronted he so badly wanted to chase after Ranbob, but was to scared too and he constantly was trying to reassure himself that he did the right thing, but no matter what, he couldn't convince himself that was the truth. And after the confrontation, Ran is taking what was said to heart and also considering running away, leaving the group behind and sparing them of all the pain he believes he causes, believing that he's just as bad a family member as Ranbob was. But he doesnt, because he feels like he absolutely needs to talk to his brother and everyone else. 

2: Oh god. Poor Ranbob. He really went through it. It does make me wonder, did anyone notice something was up? His mentor? Parents? Friends? Speaking off, what was his relationship with them all? From what I know, he seemed to be under a lot of pressure, so how did that effect things, and how did Dream’s presence change that? And uh, gladiators reactions to reading the diary? Also, did they get caught reading it, or? And how did everyone in general react to the pictures? The fishermen may have taken the latter, but how did they feel about seeing Ranbob before Dream came into the picture?

3: I tell it like it is, glad to hear it’s made you laugh though. And uh, oh boy. On one hand, I definitely shouldn’t laugh at stabbing and possible starvation. One the other. Ran’s reaction. Ranbob being threatened with Benjamin. Is he often threatened with Benjamin? What exactly happens if Benjamin is told? Will Raq be causing future problems? Is Ran happy to be on the road again?

4: That sucks. Did the gladiators witness it first hand, or did the fishermen kind of realize what was happening and split off for a bit? Reactions to either seeing or hearing this happen?

5: Ranbob’s reaction to this? Heck, all of the fishermen’s reactions?

6: As he should. If he ever starts looking even slightly thin again, Benjamin needs to jump into immediate action! Also, give him a blanket and warm drink, please? Please, he needs it, they all do. 

7: So not too bad, that’s good. Charles was the one, huh? Interesting. Does Ranbob like having it back? And conflicting emotions, hmm? What would those emotions be? Does anyone ever notice the nickname makes him mad? 

8: So the gladiators consider that their big approval? Why’s that? Like obviously, they helped break it up, but was it something particular? Did they get between the two? Jump into the arena? What?

9: A warning of Mizu...there’s something awfully tragic about that. 

10: Sounds interesting! In what way would they be able to help? 

11: Scattered about, hm? So Ranbob knows about Ranboo’s memory book? Did Dream tell him, or did Mizu have a copy, or? And yay, Ranbob finally gets a hug! Most wonderful! Sad Ran doesn’t succeed in murder, but meh. Always next time, I suppose.

12: You...you were really going for my heart when you wrote this, weren’t you? Um, first of all, ouch. Second of all, also ouch. That’s all I’ve got for you right now. Just, ouch, Anon. Ouch.

[danceworshipper]

The Family Business AU: Part 2

Part 1

Alright I honestly don't remember much of the game plot anymore and the memories feature didn't help much SO I apologize for this probably being horribly inaccurate to the game's canon. Eh, canon sucks anyway, this is an AU, whatever! Colette Belrose belongs to @gcldensnitch and Alex Vega belongs to @weirdcursedvaultkid

I do want to mention a couple things before the part starts. First, the way I headcanon Legilimency works is that it's a bit temperamental even for the most powerful Legilimens. Connect enough with a certain person, and disconnecting becomes harder and harder, and eventually you'll be linked forever with nothing to stop the transfer of thoughts and emotions. Second is about the twins. Tessa's got it really hard in this AU. Most of her development in 'canon' comes from her giving up the vaults and becoming more independent from Gracie, but that obviously didn't happen here because her family would never let her, so she has even more self worth issues than she should. About Gracie: from a young age she's been selected to be the heir, right? Her family and the other R members have always put her on a pedestal, and it's gone to her head a bit. She's a little too arrogant, and even too naive in a few ways. And she really doesn't know just how upset Tessa is, or how unworthy she feels, because unbeknownst to Gracie, Tessa's Occlumency is far stronger than hers. But both of them will get their proper development, I promise! They'll figure out just how fucked up their lives are soon enough.

Onto the story!

Are you questioning your grandmother's intelligence? Clarissa's stern voice rang through the twins' heads.

R's planned attack had not, in fact, gone as planned. Instead of throwing a few curses and leaving, as the agents were supposed to, they stayed and decided to duel with the twins and their friends, resulting in Ben getting a nasty curse to his leg that almost caused it to fall off. After a couple risky maneuvers to get the agents to finally leave, he was hurried to the Hospital Wing, where most of the friend group was at the moment. Thankfully they were paying Ben too much attention to notice that Gracie had crept away to the window to scream mentally at her mother - the only other member of R who possessed Legilimency. Tessa hoped that following her would make it look like they were just talking silently to each other. Clarissa hadn't taken too kindly to being shouted at in the middle of her lunch, unsurprisingly.

I'm questioning whether we're being given the correct information in the first place, or if Grandmother decided we don't need to be alerted when there's a change of plans, Gracie snapped. If I hadn't risked being outed by jumping in front of everyone else, he would have lost his leg!

And why do you care? I've heard your complaints about this young man. You don't even like him.

He's our friend!

Gracie, just stop, Tessa pleaded, grabbing Gracie's arm. She glanced over to Ben's bed; Ismelda (why was she even there?) was staring back at the two of them.

Sensing her sister's distress, Gracie followed Tessa's eyes to Ismelda, who kept her gaze. Tessa felt a wave of suspicion from Gracie. Either Gracie was so angry she wasn't keeping herself together well - which was very possible - or the twins' link had deepened without them realizing. Either option posed an issue.

I give you the information I've been given, Clarissa spoke, drawing their attention away from Ismelda. If you're truly this upset, I could have your grandmother stage a kidnapping so you may speak to her yourself.

No, no, Tessa interjected, not letting Gracie agree while still so uncontrolled. We can manage.

Good. I will be in contact on Tuesday to update you.

The intense headache Tessa had been feeling dispersed. Clarissa had closed their link. Tessa sighed, leaning back against the wall and finally dropping Gracie's arm. Legilimency over such long distances really took a toll on someone.

Gracie seemed fine though. Tessa knew she was just weaker.

You'd think the heir to the metaphorical throne would be shown a bit more respect, Gracie hissed. They really aren't doing themselves any favors here; I thought they wanted to bring in our generation? How in Salazar's name do they expect to gain more members if they keep fucking attacking them?!

Stop, please, Tessa begged, pressing her hand into her eyes. The anger Gracie was feeling was unnerving at this point, almost as if it was impossible for her to calm down, and Tessa could feel all of it like a fire burning in her heart. She didn't like being angry herself, so feeling someone else's anger was so much worse. Our link deepened.

Gracie's hand found hers and intertwined their fingers. It helped, just a little.

I noticed. Ismelda's still staring at us.

Tessa's eyes shot open. Ismelda had a blank look on her face. Too blank. Forced blank. What was she thinking? The idea to get into her mind was tempting, but Tessa had never liked using her Legilimency without permission. It just felt too violating; she would hate it if someone did it to her.

Gracie didn't have the same issue - within a second she was in Ismelda's head. This was important enough to warrant the intrusion, Gracie reasoned. No one could know until they had been recruited. The twins couldn't afford for anyone to be suspicious of them before they were able to get their most important people safe; Ismelda could ruin everything.

Thankfully, Ismelda hadn't drawn any connections to R yet - probably because she hadn't been very involved in the vaults and barely knew what R was, Gracie reminded herself. But Ismelda was very observant, and noticed almost every instance where the twins had mental conversations with each other or their mother.

The twins' Legilimency wasn't a secret. It may have been supposed to be, but in moments of blind panic an untrained Legilimens' mind will latch itself onto the nearest person to beg for help, and no one had been fully prepared for the Ice Vault, so Bill, Ben, and Rowan had very quickly realized the twins were not screaming out loud. The information spread quickly.

All things considered, it was fair for Ismelda to wonder why the twins sometimes chose to speak silently instead of out loud, and why they always seemed so upset while they were doing it. It was also fair for Ismelda to think that maybe the twins knew more than they were letting on. After all: it was true, they did. But she hadn't told anyone of her suspicions yet, which was the most important part, and she wasn't going to until she had proof.

Gracie extracted herself from Ismelda's head as smoothly as she could - the exit was always more noticeable than the entrance - but it didn't seem like the girl had felt anything. Gracie squeezed Tessa's hand.

"We're safe," she murmured aloud. No need to keep speaking silently, though neither of them closed the link. It was a strange sort of comfort to the both of them to keep their sister so close, even if their link was getting too deep to be completely safe.

"I don't like it when you do that," Tessa scolded gently. "What if someone invaded your mind without you knowing?"

"No one could," Gracie deflected. "Not even Mother can get in without permission."

Tessa shook her head in disapproval.

"It was important, Tessa. What if she started rumors we couldn't shut down? You know how Hogwarts is."

"I know."

"Come on." Gracie tugged Tessa's hand. "Lets go check on Ben."

The large crowd had mostly left, leaving just Alex, Merula, and Ismelda. Gracie idly wondered what Ben felt like being surrounded by Slytherin girls all the time.

"If they hadn't left I could have gotten some information out of them," Ben was saying. "We almost had them."

Merula scoffed. "If they hadn't left when they did you'd have to hop everywhere."

"A small price to pay if it meant we were closer to stopping them once and for all."

"I agree with Merula," Alex said. "Your health is more important, Ben. You'll have more opportunities."

"I wasn't concerned with his health!"

----------------

It seemed extra dark that night, sitting in the Slytherin Common Room with Colette as the fire died down. It was just Tessa awake; Colette had fallen asleep on her shoulder a while ago. Something about huddling under a blanket with a friend helped Tessa think more clearly, even without talking. The weight of Colette's head on her shoulder helped to ground her and remind her she wasn't alone.

Of course, even being comforted left Tessa feeling guilty these days. This was Colette. Colette, who had always been there, who always brought sunshine to the dark days. Colette, who had no idea that the girl she was sleeping on was technically her brother's superior in a wizard cult. Tessa had done nothing but betray Colette since the day they met. There were too many lies that would tear them apart, and Tessa selfishly remained anyway, taking the comfort Colette offered while tearing the girl down behind the scenes. How could she do this? What kind of monster took advantage of someone's kindness like this?

Times like this were when Tessa cursed R with her entire soul. She cursed her mother for bringing children into R, she cursed her grandmother for starting R in the first place, she cursed Vance for not giving his sisters the option to flee with him and for never contacting them, and most of all, she cursed herself for taking that stupid magical vow that meant she could never tell Colette any of this, because Colette was too good. She'd never join R, and when she inevitably found out, Tessa would never be able to explain herself. When that happened, Tessa would lose Colette forever.

The link Tessa shared with her twin flared just a little, grief seeping in and mixing with what she was already feeling. It was too muted for Gracie to be awake. Bad dream? Tessa let her mind expand into Gracie's to try and calm her - one of them needed to be well rested, at least, and Gracie was the stronger of them in every way. Whatever dream she was having lost its grip on her as Tessa yanked on it, leaving no trace and no more grief spilling over. Good.

This was Tessa's only way of protecting her sister. Gracie was always the one who led in battles, who talked their way out of things, who people respected. Tessa was a follower, nothing more. It hurt, but at least Tessa knew that she could keep people safe like this. Her first practices with using her Legilimency undetected were on her friends as they slept, trying to influence their dreams, and nightmares were always easy to dispel. Fears never mean as much when you can't remember them. To Gracie's knowledge, she hadn't had a bad dream since she was thirteen, except on the nights they shared nightmares.

The only downside was that dispelling a nightmare sent the sadness, fear, and/or pain barreling into Tessa in full force.

As Tessa let the tears she didn't understand fall down her face, the fire flickered more, casting just a bit more light into the room, illuminating Liz as she appeared from the hallway to the dorms.

"There you guys are," she whispered. "I woke up to go to the bathroom and you weren't there."

"Sorry," Tessa responded. She felt Colette stir.

Liz frowned, coming closer. "Are you crying?"

"Yeah, uh, it's nothing." Just the fact that Tessa was a horrible human being.

"What time is it?" Colette asked, lifting her head but not moving away.

"Maybe three?" Liz guessed. "I didn't look. What's wrong, Tessa?"

Tessa shook her head and wiped at her cheeks. "Nothing." She didn't know what her sister had been dreaming about.

Liz and Colette shared a look, then Liz sat down on Tessa's other side and leaned into her.

"You don't have to tell us, but we're here for you."

That makes it worse, Tessa wanted to say, but how could she? How could she explain that she didn't deserve any compassion?

"We love you," Colette said quietly. "You're getting worse, Tessa, and we just want to help in any way we can. But you have to let us."

I'm in a cult! I'm a liar! I'm a monster and you need to get away from me before my family kills you!

Nothing came out but sobs that were fully hers, so her friends held her tightly through the night, whispering reassurances that made Tessa want to throw up.

----------------

"You can admit you have a heart, Merula, it's okay."

"Vega!"

Gracie rolled her eyes. "It's okay, love, we know you don't care about anyone."

"I didn't say that either!"

Alex grinned. "So you do have a heart?"

Merula angrily scooped more fruit onto her plate. "Get me the dip," she demanded, and Gracie passed it over. The seasonal October dip had always been Merula's favorite.

"Why are you so interested in me anyway?" Merula asked Alex. "Shouldn't you be fussing over Copper still?"

"I already visited him earlier."

"I swear you're in love with that loser."

"He's not a loser!"

"At least the two of you would be a good match."

"Merula!"

"Would you two just kiss already?" Gracie taunted, rolling her eyes. "We can't have one breakfast where someone isn't bickering with someone."

"Are you seriously insinuating I want to kiss Vega?" Merula asked in disgust. "You're the one dating me!"

"And I regret it more every day."

"Hey!"

"I could date Rowan. It would be much more peaceful."

Rowan winked across the table.

Merula huffed, but thankfully shut up. She knew Gracie was just joking. Besides, Rowan would never lower her standards enough to date Gracie of all people, and it was well theorized that Alex did in fact fancy Ben. Gracie didn't understand that in the slightest, but whatever made her happy.

Alex was pouting into her eggs. Why did she take Merula's insults so seriously? At this point it should be obvious she didn't mean it. Still, Gracie kicked her girlfriend under the table, jerking her head at Alex.

Merula scowled.

Gracie kicked her again.

"You're not a loser Vega," Merula said. "Copper is though, and I stand by that."

Alex smiled a little. "You can think that, but he's awesome."

"I could kick his ass easily," Merula boasted.

And: more bickering. At least this was a bit more friendly.

"Chiva."

Gracie and Tessa both turned around. Ismelda was standing behind them.

"Yeah?"

"Cursed Chiva."

Tessa turned back around, tension radiating off her. She was always nervous these days. Gracie wished she could help Tessa see that everything would be okay. The two of them could protect their friends if something went wrong, because they knew spells only family was ever capable of, and if it really came down to it, R members all knew that they would be executed if they harmed the twins. They could use their bodies as shields, like Gracie had done for Ben.

On a more morbid note, Lorraine was old. It couldn't be too much longer before she either died or had to step down, and then Gracie would be the leader and exempt from the oath keeping her quiet. Once their friends found out why the twins had been lying to them, they'd understand. Sure, they'd be upset, but they were good people and they'd forgive them. Gracie had a lot of reform she wanted to do anyway, and after that was taken care of, their friends might be more willing to join if they hadn't already by then. Even if not, Gracie would be the leader and she could mark them all as untouchable. So in a horrible way, Gracie was just waiting for her grandmother to die. It would solve a lot of problems.

Tessa just hadn't come to that same conclusion yet.

"What?" Gracie asked, remembering Ismelda had addressed her.

"You have first period free, right?"

"Yeah, why?"

"We're talking. Courtyard."

"Okay?"

Ismelda reached over Merula for a bagel before leaving the Great Hall.

"What's that about?" Rowan asked, looking at the doors Ismelda had walked through, fork halfway to her mouth.

Gracie shrugged. "No clue," she lied. Shit, had Ismelda noticed Gracie in her head after all?

Tessa nudged Gracie with her leg. Gracie nudged back. It would be fine. If it came down to it, she knew her way around a memory charm.

Don't be stupid, Tessa warned.

Relax.

I can skip out on Divination if you want.

It'll be fine, dumbass. Don't risk your grade over nothing.

"Want me to come with you?" Rowan offered. Gracie focused back on her best friend.

"Nah, I'm sure she's not gonna kill me."

Rowan didn't like that answer, if the glare she gave Gracie meant anything.

----------------

Ismelda stood with her arms crossed in front of the fountain as Gracie approached. It was rather chilly out; the thin school sweater wasn't cutting it. Before Gracie could greet her, Ismelda made her claim.

"You know something we all don't."

It was a split second decision, fueled by the tingle in the back of Gracie's head, that made her agree.

"Yeah."

Taken aback slightly, Ismelda paused, having clearly been ready to argue.

"Okay, so what are you hiding?"

"I can't tell you."

"Chiva - "

"I'm under a magical oath," Gracie admitted. "I can't tell anyone."

Ismelda frowned. Her arms fell to her sides as she took in that she was being told the truth.

"I take it your sister is, too?"

"Yeah," Gracie agreed. "It's a family thing."

That threw Ismelda off even further. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Do you want to know what we know?"

Ismelda narrowed her eyes. "That felt like a threat."

Little do you know.

This could be a bad idea. Ismelda could take the news very badly and get killed. But Gracie was almost certain she wouldn't, and someone like Ismelda could be a really good ally. She had already proven herself to be rather observant, and she was the type of person who wasn't deterred by violence. And the power aspect would certainly tempt her.

Ismelda hadn't been a priority, but it was a start. Besides, if that tingle Gracie felt was to be believed...

Gracie sat, gesturing for Ismelda to join her, which she did with some hesitation.

"If you find out you'll have to take the same oath."

"I figured as much."

"Believe me when I say this is dangerous. Knowing will keep you safe, but only if you go about it correctly. If you refuse the oath, bad things could happen. And that's before you find out."

Ismelda yanked the end of her scarf out of the fountain with a muttered curse, charming it dry before responding.

"Your family sounds more fucked up than you normally let on, Chiva."

There was no arguing with that. Gracie let Ismelda sit for a moment, turning the information over in her head.

"When?"

I thought so.

"Next weekend is a Hogsmeade weekend right?"

"Second weekend of every month, isn't it?"

"Hope you don't have any plans."

Ismelda stood, and Gracie copied.

"Is this a trap?"

"No."

"You'll tell me?"

"After you take the oath."

She stepped back a bit.

"Then tell me where to be."

Gracie grinned. Lorraine would be pleased.

"Meet me behind Madam Puttifoot's at one. My family - " the oath prevented her from saying grandmother " - will take it from there."

She turned to where the persistent tingle in her brain was coming from.

"You can come too, Rowan." Two in one.

[themissinggenius]

Part 2/2

Another conversation was coming, but it was avoided for the time being. Clarice showered in the guest bathroom; earlier, she had tried peering around the house—still mad but a bit embarrassed by the outburst. The door had been put back into place since she showered, and the water had been cleaned off of the floor. Hannibal was nowhere to be found. I really did it this time, she thought. Her body relaxed, and her face softened. She didn’t think it was appropriate to laugh, but the thought still surfaced, prompting a sad smile. I pushed around the violent centerpiece of the FBI’s Ten Most Wanted list. And he just cried. Shithouse mouse. The smirk dissipated as she ruminated further... She had hit him. Being a domestic abuser wasn’t just rude; it was boringly common. 

She moved the thoughts about violence to the side and shifted her attention to the cause of the scuffle. I don’t know what he expected. Hannibal knows the depth of my old relationship with Jack, as much as he hated him. He told me to say goodbye to my father, so why not Jack?

Your daddy and Jackie Boy aren’t the same, she reminded herself. At this moment, she was both grateful and resentful that her internal voice of reason was that of her husband. At least it was helping her see his view. Okay, so the relationship isn’t necessarily comparable. But why would he think I wouldn’t come home? Did he really read my intentions so incorrectly?

Clarice laid awake in the guest bedroom for hours.

~~

Hannibal Lecter relies on his intuition; it may just be his most famous attribute. On rare occasion, though, his cunning will fail him. On the day that Jack Crawford died, it most certainly did.

However, he doesn’t know that yet. Instead, he is reclined in repose at the seat of his harpsichord which he does not play. As he is off in one of the ill-visited quarters of the home, Clarice would be unable to hear the notes carrying from her position in the guest room; even so, he does not play. Hannibal gleaned a look of disgust and frustration from her earlier, and thus, he was certain his Starling would take flight by the morning for reasons known but difficult to accept. There is no reason for him to play.

Poised on the bench, he disappeared to his memory palace without struggle. The difficulty came when he walked down the halls, closing each door that had belonged to her. Hannibal contemplated as he walked: There is a certain symmetry to this—an appreciable one. Clarice’s hotheadedness had been a defining feature of hers, whereas he relied on coolness. He chastised himself for his own emotional outburst; it was unlike him to breakdown, and though he had allowed himself to become vulnerable to his wife, with her likely departure, he had to withdraw from all this fragility. He had to shut down. He had to be the ice to meet her violent fire. 

Thus, he closed her doors, sealing the emotional ties within each.

~~

Hannibal emerged at the sound of her voice. He had not heard her approaching in nor had he smelled her. 

A few paces away from the harpsichord, Clarice stood. Hannibal had been contemplating whether to address her as Clarice (Perhaps too informal at this point...), Agent Starling (But even when she goes back, she won’t be an agent...), or Miss Starling (Ummmm, I don’t like this one very much...) when she interrupted.

“Hannibal,” she started. 

“Ah.” He paused but spoke again before she could continue. “I see you’ve finally decided to join me. Had enough tossing and turning up there, or did you come down to use me as your personal punching bag again?”

“No, no. I just think-”

He cut her off again. “You know what I think, Ex-Special Agent Starling?” Oooh. That works, he thought. “Well, actually I wonder. I wonder if that was how Daddy took care o’ Mommy when she wouldn’t shut ‘er yap.” His imitation of her accent—which she had long abandoned—made her flinch. “If Ma didn’t have dinner on the table at five-o-clock, yes siree, she’d be in some kinda trouble. And boy, does Clarice still wanna be like her Daddy! No matter what,” he emphasized with a drawl, “she’s gonna stand by him. It sure do seem that way tuh me!” Hannibal smirked, and his face betrayed no warmth.

The room had felt colder to Clarice when she had walked in. She had expected him to be upset, but she hadn’t expected this. The woman paused and considered the implications: her musings were correct. He really did misread her, and now he was trying to drive her away. Well fuck that. 

In their years of marriage, the couple had picked up on a few of each other’s traits. For one, Clarice was not going to allow a bit of intimidation break her. He came close to doing so in Baltimore, but he would not again. She steeled herself, adopting a bit of his icy demeanor.

“No, Hannibal. My father did not hit my mother. I think I would’ve told you by now, don’t you?”

He didn’t answer right away; rather, he just pursed his lips and smiled. 

Then, he began: “As you know, I don’t try to predict you because it often proves fruitless.” He looked off before setting his gaze squarely on her. “However, considering these... outbursts of yours and the contempt plain on your face, I have bought you a ticket back to Arlington in time for dear Mr. Crawford’s funeral. For my safety, I will also be leaving, but not to Virginia. I know how much you must miss Jackie; please, give him my regards when you go. Maybe if you scream and pound on his grave hard enough, someone will hear and they’ll finally find you... Three years after you were reported as a missing person.” Lecter’s eyebrows shot up, and he shrugged. “Though I doubt you’ll be reinstated, as you haven’t kept your resume up to date. It will be no problem for you, though, Clarice.” He gave her a kind, patronizing look. “You’re a very smart girl. When you rediscover that the FBI has no use for your intelligence, try showing off your trophies from the firing range. Maybe even tell them about your skills in hand-to-hand combat... I could write you a glowing reference!”

Hannibal was perfectly still in his seat with his wife just beyond him. He waited patiently for her to break. He wanted no end to be left untied when she left. Your turn.

“I see you still try and lick tears after you’ve tired of tasting your own.” Clarice took a slow step toward him. She needed to crack his facade quickly. “Fortunately or unfortunately, I have no intention of moving back to the States. I find that I’m quite happy right here.”

Only she could have noticed the slight twitch of the doctor’s right eye upon this admission. And she did.

Starling inched closer. “Now, about this ‘contempt plain on my face’...” She mirrored his voice and flat expression; her imitation was even better than his had been. “Did ya happen to consider that it’s because you just tried to tear me apart—unsuccessfully, I might add? Let me tell you what I know, Doctor.” She hammed up the formality in her tone. “I know you’re not comfortable feeling worried about another person. I know that you felt vulnerable when I was gone, and I know you didn’t like that.” 

She paused, remaining collected. She raised her voice a tad for this last bit. “Lastly, I know that you ASSUMED. And if there is one—just one!—good thing that goddamned Jack Crawford taught me over the years,” she laughed, “it’s that, when you assume, you make an ASS out of U and ME. Trust me, baby, you did just that. And despite what your intuition told you, I’m not going anywhere.”

She did it. The true stoic’s face had broken, and Hannibal the Cannibal sat, dumbfounded. He opened his mouth and then closed it. She continued.

“I’m sorry that you misread my motivations. I spent yesterday reflecting on how I had gotten to this point, and I had come home feeling glad. I was planning on going upstairs to find you, drawing a bath for the both of us, and then dancing later on in the evening. Your assumption got us a bit sidetracked, though.” Looking down at her watch, it was 2am. Holy crap. She focused back on him and noted that he was still unmoving but appeared less rigid than before. The room felt like it had finally warmed up.

Clarice took a last step towards her husband. Now above him, looking down, she said, “I am sincerely sorry for hitting you, Hannibal.”

Finally, he stirred. “Clarice, I have not once so much as laid a finger on you in anger...”

“I know. Ironic, right?”

“I don’t think so.”

His wife smirked at that, and he returned the favor. “No, I guess you wouldn’t. Anyway, I’m sorry. It won’t happen again. You know what else won’t happen again?” She held his chin and spoke softly. “You doubting us. I’m with you for the long haul. Where the hell did you even think I was going?”

“Ummmm. To be candid, I’m unsure of what I thought your plan was. I assumeddddd,” he looked up at her teasingly, “that you were leaving because of a change in heart.”

“My, Dr. Lecter, you didn’t have every one of my steps planned out before I could even think of them? What have I done to you?”

“I can now definitively say that you bring out the worst in me.”

Clarice laughed and sat down next to him. “Crying? And worrying?” She was feeling more relaxed, placing her hand on his leg as she started laughing harder. “Why am I not surprised that you consider that to be Hannibal Lecter at his worst?”

Her husband just smiled back at her. She saw his cheeks blush almost imperceptibly, which then prompted a further fit. It wasn’t long before they were both laughing.

“You had better... go back... into that memory palace of yours... and open up my doors ASAP,” Clarice ordered while catching her breath.

“And how did you—?”

“You were sitting on that bench for quite a while before I called out to ya. Try not to forget about me so soon, huh?”

“I wouldn’t even think of it.” Never again, he added silently. “But I must ask... Would I be incorrect in assuming you still want to dance?”

Clarice smiled widely. Hannibal shifted in his seat and began to play.

[atlas-of-a-human-soul]

Bloodstream (Vampire AU)

Summary: Small towns usually hide big, dangerous secrets. Dolan twins thought it would be a perfect place to lay low...until they meet her.

Warnings: mentions of death, blood, violence, angst and fluff

Word count: ~ 3000

Vampires are bloodthirsty creatures, past redemption, their humanity long gone. Y/N knew that even in the moment she stayed with Ethan and Grayson while everyone else ran. She stayed, her eyes hyper focused on the blood dripping from their chins, their hands drenched with no trace of human skin - all red. She didn't know what happened, why they lost control, but she believed they wouldn't hurt her. Perhaps it's naive, wishful thinking or even her overconfidence in skills she was granted after they first arrived in town, but she stayed put, actually provoking them.

"Why did you do that?" Trying to keep her voice even, calm, Y/N almost forgot they could hear her frantic heartbeat, smell the indescribable mix of emotions oozing off her skin, undiscovered by human senses.

"You know why." Grayson rolls his eyes, wiping his mouth and chin against the sleeve of his once white hoodie, looking at Ethan for justification.

Regardless of his silent plea, Ethan simply shakes his head, turning around to avoid her questioning glare, almost relieved with her presence. A part of him craved for her in every possible way - from a primal human way to a primal vampire way and it's an overwhelming tension around his dead heart that makes him take a step back.

"No, Grayson! I don't fucking know why and I want to understand, I do! But how can I when all I seem to get is dead bodies dropped at my feet as if you're a damn cat showing off a kill!" Voice echoing around the now empty woods, Y/N realized she has to tone down her anger.

She wanted them to suffer for what they did but she didn't want them to die. If anyone found out a vampire slayer is in love with two vampires who kill mercilessly, she'd likely lose her life along with them.

Before she could blink, she found herself gasping for air, not because of the sudden change in her position or the tree she found her back pressed against, not even because of the way Grayson's bloody hand held onto her neck, but because of the intimacy of the way his lips lingered right above her carotid.

Applying a little bit of pressure only to release it had made her arteries run wild with turbulent blood-flow, the kind that played on Grayson's control issues, the kind that made him want to do something he would forever regret - if he could have just a taste and stop, to let her blood warm his heart and make it beat again even if its for a few hours, he might do it, but he couldn't risk her dying. Not now. Not ever.

"I did it for you. To protect you." Drawing the words out slowly, carefully, Grayson leans back and away from her neck, letting her breathe again. He could sense she wasn't scared, not even when he held her at inch length of death, she trusted him and that scared him. He has never been as scared in all his miserable days as he's been scared since the day she walked into his life. For once, Grayson Dolan had something to lose and he wasn't about to let it happen.

"I can't tell you how many people I killed since I came to this town, but I know why they're dead." Swallowing thickly, she watched his lips press together briefly, just for a moment - as if he's contemplating his next words and the impact they might have.

"They're dead so you could live. And I don't feel sorry. Not even a little bit. Maybe that makes me the monster you think I am but I can't regret saving your life." Leaning his forehead on hers, Grayson almost forgot about Ethan who was so clearly growing anxious, frustrated and most of all - jealous. Sadly, to Grayson's greatest dismay, he wasn't the only Dolan in love with a human - a slayer - his Y/N.

She didn't utter a word; she didn't have to. In a blink of an eye, Ethan and Grayson, as well as the bodies of the people she once considered her townsfolk are gone. Shaking, leaning back on the tree, Y/N wondered why she ever got involved with the Dolan twins - why couldn't she leave this particular mystery alone?

To understand that, we'd have to rewind this to the day she first met them, a few months earlier.

There are three things you need to know before you read this:

1. Vampires are real,

2. Their thirst for blood is unmatched by anything but the love for their mate,

3. Humanity is fragile and to love a vampire is to court death.

The sun-rays lit up her pale skin, her favorite season finally chasing away the winter snow she hated more than anything. She wasn't particularly happy about being forced to walk to campus so early in the morning, a cup of tea warming her frosty fingers, reminding her winter's still got a hold of her little town, the kind of town you'd see on postcards. It's easy to feel at home in towns like these, the kind where nothing bad ever happens except for a few college students running wild during rush week.

Smiling, she nods at the car letting her pass the road, recognizing one of her old high school teachers, the one that used to favor her for her "exceptional kindness and talent". She always felt like she disappointed him, her pristine grades and record were supposed to take her far from that town and for a while she was willing to do anything to get out of there, but life always has different plans for us, doesn't it?

Regardless, Y/N wasn't bitter nor did she resent the circumstances forcing her to stay behind when all her friends left. She still found happiness in small things - watching the sunrise that reminded her there was a fresh start every day if we're willing to take it, in the beautiful scenery - nature always calmed her nerves and it reminded her of her late father who always took her camping and taught her basic survival skills, and then there was the very college she goes to - the place her parents met for the first time, giving her a feeling of closeness to the ones she loved the most but had to say goodbye to.

Nostalgic, half lost in her thought, Y/N didn't pay attention to her surroundings, a daydreamer as her friends uses to call her. Perhaps that's something she would have changed, that day and that moment she was too lost in her own head to see she was seconds away from colliding with a force of nature - Grayson Dolan.

She didn't register the moment of impact, rather the moment a strong pair of hands gripped her waist and left arm, holding her in place with a sturdiness she didn't possess on the best of days. She heard her books fall on the pavement, one of them breaking at the seams and she didn't bother looking up, rather down at her precious books.

Quickly, she bent down to collect her books and assess the damage on her favorite book, the man doing the same, managing to take the books before her, forcing her to look into his eyes without escaping it.

Grayson could see wind-stirred waves in her eyes and he knew if one were brave enough to enter their depths, the world would blur and he'd fall so deep in love that he'd choose to stay there – right in the midst of her storm, no matter what. Of that, he was completely sure.

"The Vampire Academy? Really?" His almost mocking tone made her snarl, narrow her eyes and force the books out of his hands. If there is anything she hates, it's someone judging a book by its covers and she really hated when people deemed her a vampire fanatic because of her favorite series. The Vampire Academy is so much more than a story about vampires and that's a hill she was willing to die on.

"You bumped into me and the first thing you want to do is mock my choice in literature?” Standing up, she raised her chin defiantly high, perhaps because he's a lot taller than she is or because she simply hated being perceived as weak and naive, but she was ready to hand his ass to him and in the most merciless manner possible. “Seriously?" She humphed, swallowing thickly as she held his gaze captive.

"You're right." Raising his hands in mock surrender, he chuckled at her attitude. Licking his lips, he raised an eyebrow before speaking again. "I'm Grayson Dolan and I'm very sorry about your book." Putting an emphasis on very, Grayson smiles too, hoping his usually disarming smirk would make her swoon like all the other girls do.

Shrugging, she pulled the books closer to her chest, her gaze falling to her feet inadvertently, wishing she could rip him a new one but he's apologetic. After all, she felt guilty about the small incident anyway and while he may be a closeted asshole, she wasn't about to chew him out for being decent enough to apologize. Every asshole needs someone to show them they are capable of change, right? Well, she certainly thought so.

"Alright." She shrugs again, a nervous tick Grayson realizes but reserves that observation to himself, deciding it would be best not to antagonize her much more though he wants to. Y/N certainly peaks his interest and it's not just about the fact he can sense her blood type just by the smell of a recent scratch on her forearm, but the fact that she's awkwardly, innocently feisty but also beautiful in the most effortless way possible, the kind where she's absolutely blind to the little things others notice and adore about her.

"Not gonna tell me your name?" Grayson steps in her way, stopping her from leaving him high and dry, effectively making her heart skip a beat loud enough that his brother heard it from the football stadium. Those earthly hues he enchanted everyone with, rimmed with thick, long, dark lashes that brushed his cheeks every time he closed his eyes, seemed to bore into her every time she looked into them and nearly lost herself. Suffering, loneliness, longing, desire; his eyes held all those deep seated emotions and for a moment she had to physically restrain herself from placing her palm on his cheek and softly asking him who hurt him so deeply.

Shaking her head, she pushes those thoughts down and reminds herself she’s probably seeing this comely man through the eyes of her wild imagination, her reality check lost somewhere on the ground ever since he bumped into her. "No. You haven't earned that yet." Smiling, she winks at him cheekily, enough to cause him to change his initial opinion - there is nothing innocent about her and he's more than willing to find out what hides in every dark corner and crease of her complicated mind.

He inhaled her scent as she passed him by, sauntering toward the entrance, purposefully too. She knew his eyes never left her form, she could sense his gaze taking her in, and usually she'd feel overexposed, making her self-conscious of every step she makes but she wanted to leave a lasting impression on him. For some unfathomable reason, Y/N found herself glancing over her shoulder at the grinning man, rushing inside faster to hide just how fast her heart is beating and how blushy his attention made her.

Shaking her head, she wondered why him. She wondered why would he be the first man to make her feel like that after years of never even looking at any man. One thing was certain - Y/N wanted to know every single part of Grayson Dolan's heart and soul.

He's not perfect as he seems, but she wants to know him, all his virtues and flaws and she wants to love and hate him and argue and cuddle and go on adventures and stay at home being lazy. She wants to hype him up and have him be her cheerleader too. It doesn't even have to be romantic in any sense even though she couldn't deny the spark she felt just by the way he looked at her. He would be a part of her life and she would make sure of it.

**

Rumors fly in small towns, there is nothing surprising about it. That's how Y/N had found out more than a few things about Grayson Dolan and apparently, he has a twin brother. When two guys manage to switch universities in their senior year and at the beginning of the summer semester, it’s bound to create a buzz.

From what she remembers, Grayson Dolan is very tall, muscular and from her vantage point, all she could say for certain is how sharp his jawline is. Of course, she managed to memorize his smirk and gaze, both intimidatingly intimate, the kind that grips your soul and haunts your dreams. He oozes charming confidence but also arrogance she'd usually frown upon. All in all, in few minutes she knew him, Grayson Dolan had left an impression worthy of an afterthought, the kind that turns into a daydream where your mind makes up scenarios that are highly unlikely to happen.

As it will turn out, she wasn't nearly as imaginative as she thought.

Taking her seat, relieved it's the last class for the day, Y/N glanced at the door, her eyes catching a striking man as he enters the room, his presence alone enough to make her question reality, pinching herself only to groan under her breath. In that very moment, his eyes met hers as if he could hear the silent pained 'ouch' she mumbled under her breath.

Averting her gaze, she sat up a little straighter, clearing her voice nervously before looking into her bag for a pen, anything to avoid eye contact with a guy she could easily tell was the fated twin of the man who was still taking over her waking thoughts and she was certain he'd be there when she closes her eyes too.

"Need a pen?" The low, dark voice makes her turn sideways, noticing the guy had taken the seat next to her without hesitation, his brown eyes focused on her with interest she truly wanted to squash. If anything, Y/N didn't want a guy too close to her, especially with what her father told her: "You're going to change the world one day. It's in your blood - our family blood."

Anyone would think it's just delirious talks at the end of a man's life, but there was something in his eyes when he told her, something she couldn't disregard.

"I got one." She shrugged, looking back at her bag, trying to remain calm despite feeling his lingering gaze on her.

Heat washed over her, the kind that comes when you're both embarrassed, nervous and extremely uncomfortable. The main reason for it all wasn't just Ethan but the fact that her pen was missing...and her back up pen too.

Ethan knew that too. She had no idea he had swiped them during lunch, aware he'd need a conversation starter with the girl his brother had decided was worthy of his attention after centuries of ignoring romance and love in any form. Ethan had expected a little more if he were completely honest, especially since Grayson spoke about her alluring blood and enticing personality, but he figured there's more beneath the surface.

Unlike his brother, Ethan loved making women giddy, enjoying every bit of attention his immortality gifted him with and what most humans never understood, it's that vampires have more than the gift of immortality kept by human blood.

Vampires have strength unimaginably greater than any human as well as speed no human eye could follow. Their skin isn't always cold, as long as they drink hot beverages or human blood, even their hearts might beat again. The sun won't hurt them, crosses and holy water and garlic wouldn't cause any damage either, but fire might - as well as their hearts pierced with a wooden stake or their head being chopped off? That’s a sure way to rid oneself of a vampire.

"Just take it." Ethan pushed one across the table, winking her way when she dares to look his way once more, enjoying the pink tinted cheeks barely covered with her hair way too much not to crack a smile - a smile that could melt a hundred hearts.

"Alright." Taking the pen, she clicks it eagerly, pressing her lips together to hold back a smile from him. "Thanks." And that's when the longest hour of her life began, completely unaware she became prey and not just in the eyes of the handsome twins that recently joined the campus, but of many more who'd come looking for her - a direct blood relative of Buffy Summers - the last vampire slayer and her power had finally awakened.

Completely unaware of her destiny, Y/N went about her day, falling asleep just a few minutes before midnight strikes, a certain vampire sitting nearby, listening to her breathing evening out and her heartbeat slowing down.

"Are you really going to stalk her now?" Ethan clicks his tongue, watching Grayson roll his eyes. "Don't be a cliche, brother. Either kill her and get it over with or leave her alone. It's not that hard."

Cracking his knuckles, Grayson narrows his eyes, a few dark, blood filled veins becoming increasingly prominent on his face and his once brown eyes are now clouded with darkness.

"Someone is here." Grayson whispers and Ethan chuckles.

"Yeah. Us."

"Are you really that dense? There is something creeping on that girl and it's not just us. And it smells foul." Scrunching his nose, Grayson whips his head around to her window, noticing a speedy shadow moving up the wall, and before he knows it, Grayson's instincts take over.

It only took a moment, but the next thing he knows, Grayson’s primal nature had acted for him and he was grateful. He couldn’t exactly sit by her bed and protect her all night – he couldn’t even enter her home without an invitation, but Grayson could at least protect her home.

Why?

Even he wasn’t sure on the actual reason.

"What the fuck did you do?" All he hears is her heartbeat, even as Ethan whisper shouts in his ear. All he can feel is her scent invading his senses once more, the foul stench of the creature he just beheaded no longer standing in the way.

"What I had to." Grayson spat on the body of the creature he killed without a second thought and he couldn't help but smile. As he did, the temperature fell a little. Even in the dim light of the streetlight Ethan saw his bared teeth.

"This is what will happen to anyone who dares touch her."

[rosethornewrites]

Fic: this body yet survives, ch. 5

Relationship: Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī/Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn

Characters: Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī, Lán Huàn | Lán Xīchén, Lán Qǐrén, Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn, Jiāng Chéng | Jiāng Wǎnyín, Jiāng Yànlí

Additional Tags: No War AU, Recovery, Trauma, Dissociation, Courtship, Courting Rituals

Summary: Wangji approaches the Jiang siblings with betrothal gifts, hoping for their approval. More of Wei Wuxian's self-esteem issues rear their ugly heads.

Notes: See end

Parts 1 & 2

Chapter 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

AO3 link

-----------

Wei Ying offered to help carry the baskets, or even the two cages containing a fat white-feathered wuguji rooster apiece, but Wangji refused to let him—it seemed improper to have him carry any part of the betrothal gifts. 

Fortunately, xiongzhang and the outer disciple were both able to help. Wangji could not recall the young man’s name, only that he was an average cultivator with merely adequate guqin skills. Wangji himself carried the cages.

On the way to the guest house Jiang Wanyin and Jiang Yanli were staying in, Wei Ying stayed close, one hand grasping the edge of Wangji’s sleeve, the other holding the box with his forehead ribbon with a sort of reverence. He kept looking at it, his expression tinged with wonder and disbelief. 

Wangji knew it would take time for Wei Ying to process the events of today; he wondered if perhaps everything was moving too quickly—telling Wei Ying he wished to court him, the clarification of his acceptance to GusuLan as a disciple, and now formally delivering betrothal gifts to his siblings. Wei Ying was still recovering, after all, but it was too late to change course now.

If he stopped now, Wei Ying might interpret it as changing his mind, and that would be so much worse. Wangji did not want to give him any cause to doubt, not after all he had been through. If he could shield Wei Ying from everything that might hurt him, he would—but he also knew that way of thinking could turn him into his father. 

He would not cage Wei Ying, even to protect him. 

Jiang Yanli was writing outside in the early afternoon sunshine when they arrived, and Wangji could see her immediate understanding and joy at seeing the decorated baskets before she schooled her expression and called for Jiang Wanyin. 

He froze coming from the guest house, a stunned look on his face.

Wei Ying noticed and stopped short, his expression shifting to uncertainty. He didn’t know how his brother would react, Wangji realized. Wangji hovered next to him, not sure how to help. 

Fortunately, Jiang Yanli seemed to know what to do. She came to Wei Ying and tucked her arm into his, pulling him forward, then called Jiang Wanyin’s name with a hint of exasperation in her voice.

Quickly, the three siblings were seated at the table, Wei Ying in the middle. He still looked uncertain, almost overwhelmed, and Wangji longed to go to him and draw him into his arms. 

He was relieved when Xichen stepped forward, that xiongzhang would handle this part. Technically neither himself nor Wei Ying should be present for this, but on a similar note the Jiang siblings were the family of Wei Ying’s heart, not blood, so nothing about this was strictly traditional. They were both orphans, and thus no parents were involved in this betrothal process. 

Xichen directed the disciple to place the baskets he was carrying and set his own down as well. At his pointed look, Wangji placed the cages with the roosters on the table as well. 

“Wei Wuxian received his ribbon today,” Xichen began calmly. “As only family and cultivation partners may touch it, Wangji thought perhaps he could show Maiden Jiang how he ties his into his hair.”

Jiang Yanli looked delighted, and Wei Ying opened the box to show her the ribbon. 

“Oh, it has little embroidered clouds,” she exclaimed.

“An inner disciple’s ribbon,” the outer disciple said, sounding surprised.

“Wei-gongzi has contributed much to Gusu Lan already,” Xichen clarified. “Shufu and I made the decision.”

Jiang Yanli eyed his hair, clearly thinking ahead to the lesson, and she smiled. 

“Oh, is that a new guan?”

To Wangji’s delight, Wei Ying blushed.

“Mine broke this morning. This one belonged to Lan Zhan’s mother.”

“A love token?” Jiang Yanli asked, her smile widening. “It is lovely.”

“You have a whole bag of guan,” Jiang Wanyin muttered. 

Wei Ying froze, his eyes going distant. The Jiang siblings looked startled by his reaction.  

“The guan in his bag all had lotus on them,” Wangji stated. 

He offered nothing more, but they realized anyway if the grief on their faces told him anything. As Wei Ying has predicted, they were sad, but there was a determination there as well. 

“I’ll go through your bags for you,” Jiang Wanyin told him softly. “Get rid of anything with lotuses.”

“I’m sorry we didn’t realize, A-Xian.”

Wei Ying attempted a smile, but it was weak. 

Both of his siblings looked as though they felt guilty for not having realized, but Wangji had only noticed this morning, had connected his fugue with the fallen lotus guan scattered across the floor. 

“I didn’t tell you,” Wei Ying murmured. “How would you know?”

“Tell us what’s bothering you, you idiot. We can’t help otherwise.”

The smile turned more true, and sheepish.

“I’ll try.”

Xichen cleared his throat delicately and gestured to the baskets on the table, and he and Wangji bowed and took their seats across the table as the outer disciple started to unwrap the cloth covering them. 

“Regarding the love token…”

Inside the baskets was white tea from Gusu Lan’s stores, aged decades to develop its delicate flavor. Sweet osmanthus cakes stamped with dragon designs—no phoenix, as both he and Wei Ying were men. A pair of dragon candles. One of the baskets contained cuts of pork, obviously purchased in Caiyi; this gift implied Jiang Yanli was a maternal figure. Another basket contained an assortment of seafood to symbolize a long and happy marriage. Oranges and apples, dates, dried tangerine and melon slices, lotus seeds, candies symbolizing prosperity, good fortune, luck, peace, and offspring—perhaps the hope he and Wei Ying would adopt? Sprigs of pine for longevity. Carved jade in different hues—green dragons and turtles, red and purple birds, white clouds, a black bat, orange fish, blue butterflies, flowers in all colors, and other auspicious symbols—all to show Wei Ying’s worth. 

Gold had a value; jade was invaluable. 

“We have brought a betrothal gift for you, Wei-gongzi’s siblings, to seek your approval for him to be wed to Wangji.”

“I asked him if he would consent to be courted, and he agreed,” Wangji offered.

Instead of responding, Jiang Wanyin looked at Wei Ying with what seemed like anger at first glance but was actually disappointment and grief. 

“You’re not coming back to Lotus Cove,” he said. 

It wasn’t a question, and he clearly already knew the answer. Jiang Wanyin’s voice was resigned and rough, as though he had held out hope all this time while knowing it was unlikely. 

Wei Ying flinched, his face pinched with his own emotions. His throat worked soundlessly for a moment. 

“I can’t,” he finally said, his voice shaky. “I’m sorry, Jiang Cheng.”

“Don’t apologize,” Jiang Wanyin told him. “It’s not your fault. After what happened…”

“I promised I’d be your right hand man,” Wei Ying murmured. 

His hand was fisted in his sleeve, Wangji noticed, his knuckles as white as the robe, as he fought his emotions.

“But I can’t go back. Not now. Maybe not ever. I’m sorry.”

Jiang Wanyin took him by the shoulders and shook him slightly.

“It isn’t your fault!” he hissed as Wei Ying stared at him wide-eyed. “You have nothing to be sorry for, A-Xian!”

Instead of releasing him, he pulled his brother into an almost violent hug. Then they were both crying, as was Jiang Yanli, who put a hand on Wei Ying’s back. 

“It’s enough that you’re here,” she said. “That you’re alive.”

Wangji knew from her expression she was seeing Wei Ying wan and bloody in the mud.

“You will always be his siblings,” he said impulsively, trying to stave off those same memories. “That cannot be taken from you.”

“Yes,” Jiang Yanli whispered. “A-Xian is the brother of our hearts.”

Jiang Wanyin released Wei Ying and fixed Wangji with a calculating look, measuring him as though trying to decide if he was worthy of his brother. Wangji did not begrudge him that—he should do so. 

“You’ll protect him?”

Wangji nodded. 

“He lies. He’ll pretend he doesn’t need help or protecting when he really does. You’ll protect him from himself?”

Wangji nodded again, reflecting on the way Wei Ying has, how he often put himself last in sneaky ways. He would need to compensate with that in mind. 

Jiang Wanyin nodded back, looking very much like he was struggling to find words. 

“He’s afraid of dogs. Terrified of them. Even the tiniest puppies. You have to protect him from them. And he forgets to eat. Even before, he forgot when he was working. He gets too focused and forgets to eat and sometimes even sleep.”

Wangji realized abruptly that these instructions were Jiang Wanyin’s way of expressing his approval. It would be his responsibility to care for Wei Ying. 

Jiang Yanli expressed the importance of spice, of nutritious and delicious foods, of hugs and affection.

“Xianxian is three,” she said softly, tweaking Wei Ying’s nose between two knuckles and then dabbing at his tears with her sleeve. “He doesn’t say when he’s hurting. He keeps it inside, like with the lotuses. He fears becoming a burden.”

Wei Ying sat still between his siblings, his face flushed, clearly overwhelmed by their discussion of him and his needs.

“Wei Ying is never a burden,” Wangji said. “Wei Ying is a joy.”

His face flushed deeper, and he hid behind his sleeves.

“You can’t just say things like that, Lan Zhan.”

“Mm, can.”

“Lan Zhan!”

“Xianxian deserves to be spoiled,” Jiang Yanli said with a smile, nudging him playfully. 

Wei Ying peeked out to shoot her a tremulous smile, but otherwise kept his face hidden. Jiang Wanyin shoved him lightly. 

“I won’t be able to get away with staying here forever,” he said regretfully. “I’m the heir. Eventually I’ll be expected home.”

He fixed Wangji with a scowl. 

“But if I can be sure Wei Wuxian is protected before I have to leave, I’ll feel better.”

“He is a Gusu Lan disciple,” Xichen pointed out softly. “He will be protected even without the courtship and marriage.”

“Unlike in Yunmeng,” Jiang Wanyin muttered bitterly.

Though Wangji knew xiongzhang hadn’t meant it in that way from the way he winced, he didn’t disagree with the Jiang heir’s interpretation. As a disciple—as head disciple—Wei Ying should have been protected, even from the fury of Madam Yu. She should have faced consequences for attacking a disciple alone, not protected by Meishan Yu with Wei Ying dismissed as a mere servant, as though he was property to be done with as she pleased. 

These things still angered Wangji a year later, and probably always will. 

“A-Cheng,” Wei Ying said. “It wasn’t—”

“You should’ve been protected,” Jiang Wanyin interrupted. “A-die should’ve protected you. We failed you.”

“You didn’t,” he whispered. “It wasn’t your fault.”

Jiang Yanli reached out and took Wei Ying’s hand.

“A-Xian, we want to be sure it never happens again. A-Cheng and I couldn’t protect you well enough, and Father should have protected you from a-niang, and he failed to.”

“Shijie…”

Wei Ying ducked his head, and Wangji knew he was trying to avoid thinking poorly of the man who he’d been raised to consider an uncle. But there were other issues as well—in truth, Jiang Yanli was no longer his martial sister, but he had called her that since he was young and perhaps hadn’t fully realized. Or, more realistically, he didn’t know what to call her otherwise. 

“He could have officially adopted you, A-Xian,” she said gently. “He could have made you our brother officially. She wouldn’t have dared touch you then.”

“It isn’t too late,” Xichen interjected. “The three of you could become sworn siblings.”

The Jiang siblings froze, blinking at each other in surprise. They had not considered the option, but Wangji had not either. The act would send a clear message to the cultivation world at large, would serve as further protection for Wei Ying. 

“It would mean you still have a connection to Yunmeng Jiang,” Jiang Wanyin said after a moment.

Wei Ying looked flummoxed, surprised beyond words by the suggestion, and perhaps a bit torn. With his reaction to lotuses, his trauma, a connection might not be a good thing. 

“You could call me jiejie,” Jiang Yanli whispered, squeezing Wei Ying’s hands. “I’m not really your shijie anymore, but I’d really like to be your jiejie.”

That was apparently the final straw for Wei Ying, who let out a sob and buried himself in her arms. Jiang Wanyin managed a smile, putting a hand on his shoulder, but looked close to tears himself. Becoming sworn siblings would just make official the relationship they had had most of their lives, would solidify their connection to one another. 

“We can set up the ceremony for tomorrow,” Xichen said, smiling gently. “As Jin-furen and Jin-gongzi are visiting, they could serve as witnesses.”

Jiang Yanli glanced at Wei Ying in concern.

“Jin-furen?”

“We met her in Caiyi,” Wangji stated. “She has dissolved the sworn sisterhood and wished to commission Wei Ying.”

The news clearly comes as a surprise to the Jiang siblings—apparently in previous visits Jin Zixuan hadn’t mentioned it. 

“They are having tea with shufu presently, but likely intend to visit you,” Xichen added. 

The Jiang siblings were watching their brother with concern, and he managed a smile, straightening.

“I’m fine. Lan Zhan was with me. We rescued a turtle at the fish market and released it in the pond at the jingshi. And we got a book about turtles and poetry and oil for my hair and tanghulu.”

None of his rambling mentioned the Jin, and Wangji could hear exhaustion in his voice, despite how he tried to keep his tone light. From his siblings’ expressions, they could tell as well. 

“It was a long day for Wei Ying,” he said softly. 

A broken guan and slight breakdown, consenting to be courted, rescuing the turtle, shopping, encountering Jin-furen unexpectedly, receiving his ribbon and clarification that Cloud Recesses was now his home, and now this. Too much for him while he was still recovering, almost certainly. He wanted to take him somewhere quiet so he could rest, or to the meadow to bury him in soft rabbits. 

“You’re already protecting him,” Jiang Yanli commented approvingly. 

“We’ll need to establish chaperones,” Jiang Wanyin said, frowning.

They were agreeing to the betrothal, Wangji realized, and warmth spread from his chest in a way he usually only felt around Wei Ying. Joy. He was feeling joy. The siblings of Wei Ying’s heart had accepted their courtship. They would wed. 

Xiongzhang smiled and nudged him gently, clearly happy for him. 

“Wei Wuxian deserves no less,” Xichen agreed. “We want to make his worth very clear. Chaperones through the courtship period will be appropriate.”

Wei Ying looked embarrassed by this, as though he felt the fuss was too much for him. 

“A-Xian has faced enough questions over his worth. He is precious to us and will be treated as such.”

Jiang Yanli was watching Wei Ying, too, he noticed, and was speaking in part to him.

“A-Cheng and I will be happy to chaperone,” she finished.

“For times when you are indisposed, or if myself or shufu are unavailable, I’m sure we can have some of the outer disciples act in that capacity,” Xichen added. “They are often responsible for escorting guests.”

“Wei Ying may need rest before dinner, while you are visiting with Jin-furen and Jin-gongzi,” Wangji stated, watching him. “I would like to escort him to his quarters once Jiang-guniang has tied his ribbon.”

In truth, their lunch in Caiyi had been more of a second breakfast, too early to truly be lunch. There were still several hours left before dinner. 

“I’ll just take it off to rest, won’t I?” Wei Ying protested.

“And I will help you put it back on before dinner,” Jiang Yanli said. “I’m happy to.”

“Disciple Su can chaperone your return to Wei-gongzi’s quarters before he returns to his other duties,” Xichen said.

The disciple bowed. He had a somewhat petulant look on his face, but as Wangji recalled that seemed to just be his natural expression. 

“Yes, Lan-zongzhu.”

Jiang Yanli reached into the basket of osmanthus cakes and presented the disciple with one, bowing.

“Thank you for your help.”

He took the cake, blinking at her in a startled way, then quickly returned her bow and retreated. 

She moved around the table to study Lan Wangji’s hair, and he removed his ribbon and demonstrated how he wove it through his hair for her twice before she was satisfied she understood. 

Within minutes, Wei Ying was wearing his ribbon, the pale fabric making the skin of his face look less pallid, demonstrating how much healthier he looked in comparison to only weeks ago. He looked beautiful as a Gusu Lan disciple, with a proper ribbon—but he was always beautiful to Wangji, so perhaps he was biased. 

“It suits you,” Jiang Yanli told him softly. “The clouds almost look like wings from a distance. Perhaps the wings of a crane.”

Wei Ying blushed, and Wangji felt his ears heat. A pair of cranes alluded to a wish for a long married life. He had never considered the resemblance of the embroidery to wings, but he could see it now. 

“Or lucky roosters, like these,” Jiang Wanyin muttered, pointing at the cages. “I don’t know what we’ll do with them.”

Jiang Yanli brushed her thumb against the embroidery on the ribbon, smoothing what must have been a minute wrinkle. The gesture was almost motherly. 

“They’re for Xianxian’s wedding, to lead him to his husband. We’ll keep them until then, of course. They’re lovely.”

She sat beside him, and Wei Ying leaned his head against her shoulder, a beautiful smile gracing his lips. He looked radiant, if tired, filled with a joy Wangji felt as well. 

“Shufu and I will consult to select an auspicious date,” Xichen said. “I would be honored if you two would assist in the planning of the wedding.”

Jiang Yanli looked overjoyed, and Jiang Wanyin nodded, his expression of a man about to embark on an important mission.

“A-jie and I had ideas,” he said.

Wei Ying stared at him, open-mouthed in shock. 

“What, you thought we didn’t do that for you like you and I did for A-jie? Like I’m sure you two did for me?” Jiang Wanyin demanded. 

“Of course we made plans for you, A-Xian.”

“I didn’t expect to get married,” Wei Ying whispered. “I was going to help Yunmeng Jiang.”

Wangji was surprised by that, but perhaps he shouldn’t have been—Wei Ying was exactly the type to deny himself to do what he saw as duty. His siblings were looking at him in horror, as though just realizing that terrible truth.

“You were allowed to marry, you idiot,” Jiang Wanyin exploded, then took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. “Even if it meant marry out. You didn’t have to stay.”

“I did. I promised.”

Jiang Wanyin looked to his sister, clearly trying not to lose his temper. 

“Xianxian,” she whispered, looking like she felt helpless. “We would never want you to give up your future for Yunmeng Jiang. You always talked so much about Lan-er-gongzi, I always assumed…”

Wei Ying blushed and glanced Wangji’s way, then down at his lap. He was struck again by how exhausted he looked. 

“He did not know my regard for him,” Wangji realized aloud. 

Worse, Wei Ying had thought he’d been rejected, that he was despised. And, knowing him, he had probably justified to himself that he deserved it. 

He could see Xichen’s surprise, but his brother had always known how he felt, before he could even understand himself.

“He thought I disliked him,” he clarified for xiongzhang. 

A look of guilt passed over Jiang Wanyin’s face, and Wangji realized perhaps he had thought similarly, had said something to Wei Ying about it. But ultimately the fault lies with Wangji, for not expressing himself more clearly, not until it was almost too late. 

Xichen also looked somewhat guilty, as though he felt he should have done something himself, but Wangji wouldn’t let him blame himself.

“I will strive to be clearer. Wei Ying should know he is loved.”

Wei Ying made an almost strangled sound.

“Lan Zhan, my heart can’t take it,” he groaned, hiding his face dramatically again. “You’re too much!”

“As much as Wei Ying deserves. Wei Ying will acclimate.”

Jiang Yanli patted her brother’s shoulder, looking softly fond, but also concerned. Wangji wondered if she too realized that Wei Ying might disbelieve he was loved. Jiang Wanyin stayed quiet, but watchful, his jaw still clenched, his expression still stormy. 

“Xianxian will need to get used to it, I think. Lan-er-gongzi will need to use the courtship period to help him adjust.”

Wei Ying gave her a mock betrayed look, and she laughed gently and tweaked his nose. He blinked at her cross-eyed, looking like a sleepy kitten. 

“But I think perhaps you could use a nap.”

The lack of protest was enough of an indication, but Wei Ying swayed when he stood, steadied by his siblings. Jiang Yanli pulled out a handkerchief, then put some of the dates, dried tangerines and melon, candies, and an osmanthus cake on it before tying it into a pouch and pressing it into Wei Ying’s hands.

“A snack would do you good,” she said, leading him around the table to Wangji. “I’ll send A-Cheng for you when dinner is ready. Lan-zongzhu and Lan-er-gongzi are welcome as well.”

Wangji took Wei Ying’s arm in his own to help steady him and received a tired smile. Disciple Su frowned at him, as though scolding him for touching his betrothed, but he ignored him. Xichen smiled.

“I will discuss courtship etiquette and terms with Wei-gongzi later, Wangji. You are aware of them. I trust you to respect them.”

He nodded to his brother and led Wei Ying toward his quarters. 

Respecting courtship etiquette was the same as respecting Wei Ying, particularly to the rest of the cultivation world. Wangji was disappointed, in some ways, that he had been right; the trip to Caiyi was to be their last time spent together alone for some time to come, and part of it had not been.

But as Wei Ying leaned closer, starting to wilt, Wangji focused on him alone, ignoring the disciple accompanying them. He would ensure Wei Ying ate at least some of what Jiang Yanli had packed before leaving him to rest, and the disciple could simply wait as he did so. 

Wei Ying’s health came above all else.

---------

Lots of symbolism in this chapter. Different colors of jade have different meanings. Green, which is the most prized, is for friendship, harmony, and renewal. Red for energy, life, and love. Yellow for optimism, success, and generosity. Orange for ambition, vitality, and libido (lol, like WangXian need help in that department). Blue for loyalty, freedom, and faith. Purple for insight, peace, and devotion. Black for elegance, security, and pride.

There are a lot of meanings involved in carved jade specifically as well. The bat, for instance, would represent happiness and longevity. Butterflies are a symbol of love. Dragons, power, strength, and goodness, as well as masculinity. Fish represent wealth and abundance, and when paired, harmony and connubial bliss. Different birds have different meanings as well, though Lan Wangji doesn’t specify which ones there are, or which flowers are carved.

I am not as familiar with betrothal customs as I would like to be, but it seemed killing and cooking the roosters would be crass at best, at least before the wedding. Apparently some customs include putting the betrothal chickens under the marital bed for the wedding night. In essence, this betrothal is different in a lot of ways because they’re both grooms and both orphans. Because of Wei Wuxian’s lack of blood family, the decision to go to the Jiang siblings is more a courtesy and recognition of their relationship than anything.

“Gold has a price/value; jade is priceless/invaluable” is a Chinese saying that seemed apt for a betrothal gift. 

Wuguji are black-boned chickens, specifically silkies. They’re a smaller breed, but prized in cooking.

Also, I keep meaning and forgetting to thank my amazing beta, @missyriver, for all her help!

[bellatrixobsessed1]

Speak No Evil (Part 40) - Story 2

It all falls apart the next day. Azula had thought that perhaps she would last a day or even a half a day longer. That things wouldn't get so emotionally brutal so startlingly fast. 

It began, as many things do, with the petty discomforts. Upon waking she was greeted by a cluster of snickering spirits bearing their ugly little phosphorescent teeth. It is not yet light out, the sky is still a deeper shade of blue and the canopy lets the night linger on longer than it otherwise would. But Azula doesn't need the light to know what mischief has the spirits in such a state of amusement. When she sits up her hair, horribly knotted brushes against her back, shoulders, and biceps. Tangled quite deliberately in her licks are twigs, dead palm fronds, and whatever other little piece of debris that they could find.

She likes to think that she might have handled things better if her mood hadn’t been soiled the moment she’d woken up. She likes to think that she would have been more agreeable, easier to tolerate. But she is certain, deep down, that she is just like this and that she will always be like this. That regardless of the spirits, things would have ended exactly as they just have; with she on her own and dwelling upon the events leading up to this. 

She wonders if they are looking for her or if they have already solemnly agreed that this is what is for the best. Perhaps they are well on their way back home, leaving her as just one more misery of the past. 

Of course, she won’t be reduced only to a bad memory if she manages to make it out of this jungle and back to the palace alive. All she has left to do is push forward, she can’t imagine that the spirit is too far now. And now that she is alone it may be more inclined to approach her. 

 As she walks, she continues trying to pick the leaves and twigs from her hair. She is beginning to think, with a queasiness, that she will have to cut it. And maybe it is for the best, she doesn’t feel a though she has earned long hair. 

Agni, how had she let herself become this?

She is so, so alone. Even when she had companionship she was alone. Deep down she hopes that they are worried about her. She doesn’t hold her breath on that. Perhaps, though, Seicho is worried--worried that she has found herself a new volcano. 

Sometimes she wonders if she should be seeking one out, or something like it…

She squeezes her eyes shut. 

She has to keep pushing forward. Against the jungle, against her mind, against herself. 

And try as she may, she can’t stop replaying the day.

.oOo.

“Try to hold still.”

She gives it her best effort but she can’t help but to flinch when TyLee plucks strands of her hair out alongside some of the larger twigs. Apparently her utter distress upon waking was enough to wash away the argument of the day before She imagines that Mai gets a kick out of each and every wince even if it doesn’t show on her face. 

“I got one!” Seicho grins. She holds up the stick and twirls it between her fingers. “It’s kind of shaped like an S!” She declares. “S for Seicho.” She mumbles. 

Azula manages a half smile. For just a short span of time, she thinks that her day might not be so horrible. She truly wishes that it had been horrible from the start. Maybe then she wouldn’t have gotten her hopes up.  “Hmm…” TyLee mumbles, “this looks like it’s going to be tricky.” Her fingers work to untangle a palm frond. And Azula’s tummy tickles, it has been so very long since TyLee has afforded her any affectionate gestures. Spirits, she has been so deprived. So ravenous for touch. She thinks of Seicho; she feels horrid for thinking as much but the woman had been just a raindrop on her tongue as she dehydrated in a desert.  

After a few more minutes of picking and toying, Azula sighs, “we should probably come back to this later, I’d like to make some progress today.”

“Ugg, yes please.” Mai grumbles. “Standing in one place is tortured. The bugs have all found me.”  Zuko accentuates her point by slapping at his own cheek and cringing. 

Much to her dismay she finds that the newly  reconciled couple had been correct. It is swelteringly hot and the insects are coming in swarms. Biting and sucking until Azula’s skin twitches even in their absence. 

From the look of it, the rest of her party isn’t particularly comfortable either. 

The sheen of sweat on her skin only seems to be drawing more bugs in and her head feels so heavy under the added weight of knots, twigs, and leaves. Her feet hurt and her mouth is running dry and she can’t even make conversation to pass the time as Zuzu and Mai do. She tries to focus on Seicho’s chatter, mostly nonsensical musings with a coherent story or two. 

Azula hovers around TyLee but the woman has gone back to mostly ignoring her.  She thinks that arguments are significantly worse now; it is both easier for her to ignore people and to be ignored. And right now she yearns to speak up. To ask what is on TyLee’s mind. She doesn’t dare put her hands on the woman even if it is only to simply capture her attention. She can’t do it, not even a gentle tap, not after everything.  Likely it will take more than a gentle tap to get the attention she craves anyhow. 

The longer she walks in silence and rejection, the crankier she becomes. While Mai and Zuko fawn over each other and Seicho and TyLee bond, she dwells on the aching in her feet and thighs. And then she begins to dwell on how much she is beginning to resent Seicho. Seicho and her quirky optimism and her fun stories. How she is starting to loathe her pretty face and her extraordinary kindness. It is everything TyLee needs and deserves and more. Spirits, they have already grown so close in only a few days. 

She ruminates on it, speculates on whether this was her way of getting back at Azula for rejecting her or if she truly is that naive.  

The smile that once saved her now elicates a burning hatred, a silent seething, and a feeling of isolation and betrayal. 

Though she finds she isn’t alone for long.

No, the spirits rather enjoy her company. They find it quite fun to tug on her ears and leave little claw marks upon her skin. They bite her enough to ward the bugs off and her loathing only swells in her chest. And none of them seem to notice. So minor are her battle wounds that they don’t realize she is being attacked. 

No one ever seems to realize when she is in pain nor how terribly she aches. 

No one but Seicho who is now too invested in TyLee to care. 

Obliviousness, is as vexing as pointed offenses.

They finally come to a stop in a little clearing by a stream. Azula sits down and dabs the sweat off of her forehead and wipes the blood from her cheeks and arms. She is such a mess and no one cares. No one…

“Do you want something to snack on?” Zuko offers. His brows furrow, “what happened?”

She picks up a stick and scrawls in the dirt, ‘you and Mai got bug bites, I got spirits…’ 

TyLee’s lips press into a thin line and before she can look away Azula scrawls, ‘why won’t you talk to me? You were this morning.’

“Because I’m still not happy about yesterday.” She confesses. “You still treat people who care about you like they don’t matter.”

Azula’s stomach lurches. They do matter to her. They matter enough that it tears her up. They matter so much that she begrudges them when she stops mattering to them. 

“Seicho has been nothing but nice to you and she’s been so wonderful to me and you just say mean things to her.”

Azula shakes her head. ‘I say nice things to her. Maybe you would know if you had been there.’ Even without her voice she still says regrettable things. She is certain that TyLee had read it before she’d managed to kick the message away. 

“Maybe I would have been there if I felt like it would have made a difference.” 

She truly isn’t used to TyLee showing so many teeth. She really is a lot bolder now. Perhaps she should have let the woman continue to ignore her. The spirits giggle and whisper--at least she can make someone happy. 

‘It would have. I need someone…’

“Not me.” TyLee says before she can finish. “My destiny isn’t to fix you and your problems.” She takes a deep breath. “Sometimes I want to Azula, but I can’t.”

‘Please don’t be mad at me.’ She underlines ‘please’, points at it even. But TyLee only shakes her head. She taps the stick against please once more. And with somewhat unsteady hands she adds, ‘I’m sorry, Ty.’

TyLee looks away. 

This time she finds the courage to reach out. She cups TyLee’s cheek as gently and affectionately as she knows how.  But TyLee only takes a step back and then she begins walking away altogether. Azula reaches out and takes her by the wrist, face twisted in distress. TyLee yanks her hand free, “don’t touch me, Azula. Please, don’t.” 

Azula points at the apology. 

TyLee only shakes her head again. “That’s not good enough, Azula.”

‘Then what is?’

“I...I don’t know.” 

“Maybe you could try…” Seicho starts.

‘You stay out of this!’ Azula writes with a speed and force that nearly snaps the stick. ‘You’ve done enough!’

“Don’t treat her like that, Azula!” TyLee half-whines, half-yells. “Don’t...don’t treat her like you used to treat me. You don’t get it do you?”

But she thinks that she does. Too late, she realizes that TyLee has seen herself in Seicho. She has seen their old relationship in the one that she is forming with Seicho. And, for the first time, she considers that Seicho has been sacrificing a lot of herself just to keep Azula going. 

She swallows hard. Truth be told, she isn’t sure what her driving emotion is. But it is either anger and frustration, despair and hopelessness, or shame and guilt that has compelled her to throw the stick down, sling her pack over her shoulder, and take off without a parting message. 

“Azula, wait!” She hears Zuko call and then a murmur from Mai, “just let her go.” 

He calls out again regardless. But she doesn’t listen. This is her journey anyways, her mess, her burden. She was probably meant to face it alone.

[mgnifiqueyoo]

“Can’t You See Me?”- THEORY

"BEOMGYU'S MANIPULATION" - Part 1

(a/n: I’m starting a TXT Theory series on each mv they made/will make bc WE STAN BIGHIT MENTALITY... I won’t do a BTS one cause TXT has like five mvs and my BRAIN IS LIQUID ALREADY what more if I DID A BTS ONE? I ONLY HAVE LIKE HALF A BRAIN CELL THAT BARELY WORKS... anyways, I made this theory for two hours straight sO PLS APPRECIATE MY WORK LMAO)

(another a/n: I wrote time stamps so that you can watch the mv while reading this theory, too! Enjoy because I said so and I have to reform MY BRAIN/ i am also terribly sorry if I ramble some stuff there lmao ENGLISH IS NOT MY NATIVE LANGUAGE DFBHJD)

From 0:08 - 0:22 - We see flashbacks from the previous mv "Runaway". Yeonjun starts a fire in his notebook and Beomgyu already knew that there is a fire. The weird thing is that only Beomgyu knows that there is a "small" fire. Beomgyu could've thrown the notebook outside or do something "smaller" to prevent the fire from growing BUT NO, he really used this BIG EXTUINGUISHER to turn off the fire. Really weird because it looks like as if he knows something bigger would happen in a matter of SECONDS IN THE FUTURE???

After the flashbacks, the notebook also bursted into flames. Could this be because Beomgyu didn't success into stopping the fire, causing a bigger problem?

From 0:38 - 0:44 - Now, we see the four members (Yeonjun, Beomgyu, Taehyun, and Hueningkai) in front of Soobin's house. The five of them obviously will hang out eventually during the day.

0:44 - 0:51 - Then, we see Yeonjun bake some pastries for them to eat. No one in the group noticed that the fire in the oven started growing. Weird because Beomgyu noticed the fire quickly in the previous mv which is just a small one and they're also in a school (meaning there's a lot of people occupying space or something, y'know what I mean?) but he couldn't notice a bigger fire in Soobin's house where there were only five people in there? Sketchy.

0:51 - 0:56 - Hueningkai started taking pictures (juSt bFf tIngZ) and if we look closely, Taehyun is literally lost. He's not even looking at Hueningkai's camera. He seemed so lost and bothered. He probably doesn't know that Kai is taking pictures. He's literally just looking around as if he notices something strange.

0:56 - 1:01 - Yeonjun pokes Soobin's bubble made from hi bubblegum and Soobin looked pissed. It looks normal "jUST BFF TINGZ" from the start but as the scene goes by, Soobin and Taehyun's eyes WERE FIXED at the TV while he eats strawberries. Hueningkai, Yeonjun, and Beomgyu were literally messing around but the two of them were just STARING at the TV.

1:01 - 1:02 - (this just cute uWU)

1:03 - 1:06 - Then, we see Beomgyu staring at the camera (lmao visual king) and it's just creepy that the whole lighting in the house just TURNED SO RED AND BEOMGYU STAYED UNBOTHERED???

What's even more creepier is that the TV was just red. There was nothing there on the TV, so why would the four of them (Beomgyu excluded) still mess around like they were watching a show when they were in fact NOT?

1:31 - 1:35 - Beomgyu puts a bunch of strawberries in the blender and a lot of it spilled everywhere on Soobin's kitchen counter. When you see the actual scene, it actually looks like Beomgyu murdered someone but at the same time still seen as pure and innocent.

No suspect can be seen as pure and innocent... unless if that suspect is manipulative... (mom, help im scared)

1:39 - 1:48 - Basically, Beomgyu and the boys are playing around with the mess he made. Hueningkai wasn't playing around but he was just eating strawberries... just like how Taehyun did at 0:51 - 0:56. Soobin seemed pissed because his friends came over specifically to "play and hang out" with him and not leave him alone in the air IN HIS OWN HOUSE. In his boredom, he plays with this glass half full with some kind of pink juice.

It could've been made with those same strawberries the boys were so drawn onto.

1:48 - 1:53 - Soobin then 'purposely' dropped the glass of pink juice on the ground as it transitioned to Beomgyu and Yeonjun playing together in (probably) Soobin's bedroom. If you pay attention, the lighting is red again.

(THIS ONE IS HARD TO PAUSE LMAO HELP) 1:54 - Four of them looked down on Hueningkai (literally!) and Kai looked upset and down, too. What could've Kai done for the other boys to look down on him like he had done something bad?

Or is he being taunted by his own friends and he couldn't do anything about it because he's the youngest?

Or is he being in the middle of everything that's happening?

1:54 - 1:56 - The transitioning was like glitches at this part (my eYES HURT) as Hueningkai stays in his place while looking down on the floor. This scene shows that his "hyungs" either leave him or tower over him no matter what he feels.

Tower over him? I meant: hyungs = higher authority Maknae = no control whatsoever

1:56 - 1:57 - In this ONE SECOND SCENE, we can notice a lot of things. Beomgyu plays with Taehyun as he covered Taehyun with a blanket. Taehyun was smiling and laughing as his mood changes when the lighting turned red.

There IS something wrong with Beomgyu.

1:58 - 2:02 - Beomgyu continued dominating over Taehyun as the lighting switched from red to the normal "bright" one. Beomgyu looks at the camera, showing no emotion like he did on 1:03 - 1:06... like he wasn't doing something wrong to Taehyun.

For me, it seemed like when you put the "bright" lighting on the scene... it looked like Beomgyu and Taehyun were just play fighting.

But when it's red? It honestly looked like Beomgyu was trying to suffocate Taehyun in the sheets. (Read time stamp 1:31 - 1:35)

2:03 - 2:05 - Taehyun looks bothered again as he stares into the camera. If you pay attention to the other members, you'll notice something.

They are just chatting and eating together... not even asking about Taehyun.

Taehyun was bothered because of what happened between him and Beomgyu.

2:06 - 2:10 - Beomgyu throws in a tomato as it changes to both him and Soobin laughing during dinner. Yeonjun throws a tomato after Beomgyu as it transitions to Taehyun being bothered at the dinner table.

Yeonjun then draws a "smiley face" using ketchup. Does it mean that Yeonjun wants to be happy after... an incident?

2:10 - 2:13 - To distract Taehyun's boredom, Beomgyu flicks a strawberry(???) on him. Taehyun wasn't playful (my statement on 1:58 - 2:02 HAS A POSSIBILITY) and he's looking at Beomgyu like he was pissed despite them being messy earlier before dinner.

2:14 - 2:16 - We see Beomgyu laughing it away and the two other members were just unbothered. In the fast paced scene, we see Soobin just confused and bothered.

We also see Beomgyu looking sad as if he was sorry about what happened between him and Taehyun. We also see Beomgyu looking confused as if he was like "What could I have done wrong to you?" towards Taehyun.

2:16 - 2:21 - The five of them started playing and throwing food around again. Taehyun was weirdly "okay" in this scene. Maybe Beomgyu could've done something for Taehyun to forgive him.

Or he wanted to hide his anger from Beomgyu because Beomgyu was pictured as pure and innocent by the boys?

2:21 - 2:29 - Yeonjun picks up a tomato but it already bursted in his hand. It's impossible for a tomato to already burst when he wasn't even throwing them. Then, he stares at his hands and then back to the boys. He realizes that Soobin's house is on fire and all four of them blame it on Yeonjun.

If you pay attention to the surroundings, it really looked like a bunch of psychos murdered people because the tomato on the walls looked like splatters of blood somehow.

If you pay attention to the lighting, it changes again from bright to red.

If you pay attention to all three factors (the acting, the lighting, and the surroundings) metaphorically, it seemed like Yeonjun was the one blamed for murder.

But wasn't it Beomgyu who suffocated Taehyun in the first place?

(Note about time stamp: 2:10/ Who has a smiley face on their clothes? Beomgyu)

2:43 - 2:46 - Taehyun and Yeonjun threw tomatoes at the camera as it transitions to Beomgyu enjoying the tomatoes on the floor.

"Throwing tomatoes" at someone is like hating on them. If you watch children's series or even comedic adult series, you may have noticed that if they started "booing" on someone they hate... they throw tomatoes.

So, Taehyun and Yeonjun are throwing hate on who? Beomgyu.

Who suffocated Taehyun and blamed Yeonjun for the "fire" (still unknown if it's actual murder or a representation of something serious kdfglvnjkf)? Beomgyu.

What does Beomgyu do with the hate? Laugh and enjoy the hate he's receiving.

Honestly, it seemed like he was manipulative in this damn mv. He's not psychopath, he's a sociopath.

(A sociopath is a term used to describe someone who has antisocial personality disorder (ASPD). People with ASPD can't understand others' feelings. They'll often break rules or make impulsive decisions without feeling guilty for the harm they cause.) - literally a google definition that describes Beomgyu's character in the mv perfectly.

2:48 - 2:49 - You'll think that it's a Soobin glamour shot but NOPE. If you looked behind Soobin, you see Taehyun, Beomgyu, and Yeonjun.

If you pay attention at how Beomgyu LITERALLY SAT and ATE, he seemed so child-like.

Again, he is PICTURED as soft and innocent in the other mvs but in this one? He seemed so manipulative (using his "innocent" image to control what his members felt about his actions.)

Taehyun wasn't even facing him, meaning that he's still mad about what he has done. Yeonjun runs upstairs... where the "Taehyun Suffocation Incident" happened (Soobin's bedroom).

Soobin, on the other hand, is in the middle of everything that was happening between the three. Soobin felt lonely despite Hueningkai's presence.

It was because Hueningkai was so lost in what's happening in this reality where his three hyungs hate each other and his one hyung struggling to fit in within the friend group. Basically, Hueningkai's character only knows what's going on with his self and not the others (kinda sounds harsh but fAcT about me is that I'm the youngest and it's kinda innate for the youngest in the family to be a bit bratty and self-concerned.)

2:49 - 2:51 - Taehyun throws a tomato around an unbothered Hueningkai who is still eating food despite of what's happening around him. If you take it literally, Taehyun's like "Join us!!!".

But if you take it that way (yknOW WHAT I MEAN), it's like Taehyun was trying to wake Hueningkai up in the reality where his hyung (Beomgyu) is a sociopath.

But Hueningkai was in that fantasy (representation: eating strawberries).

2:52 - 2:53 - Here we see Beomgyu and Hueningkai being happy while tomatoes are thrown everywhere in Soobin's house.

In this scene, it seemed like Beomgyu was convincing Hueningkai to believe his "pretentious acts of kindness".

Did Hueningkai believe him?

2:54 - 2:55 - We see Beomgyu looking like he regrets everything he has done. In another scene of Beomgyu, he was staring at his hands the same way Yeonjun did at 2:21 - 2:29

2:56 - 2:59 - We see Yeonjun throwing a tomato at Soobin as we also see glimpses of Beomgyu laughing, Taehyun shifting from laughing to being angry, and Soobin finally snapping out.

Clearly, Soobin was silent because no one asked (or cared) for him throughout the time in this mv. He was always in the middle of everything.

3:02 - 3:05 - After snapping out during "playtime", Yeonjun and Taehyun walked away. It looked like Soobin was blamed for ruining the fun.

The two members who walked away were Taehyun and Yeonjun, right? If you connect their characters to the actual TXT members, Taehyun is basically known as the matured member in TXT while Yeonjun is the eldest. Basically if you connect this in the storyline, the three matured members (hyung-like members if valid) were the ones having a fight.

The two members who were left staring at Soobin were Hueningkai and Beomgyu. Connect this?

Real!Hueningkai = maknae CYSM!Hueningkai = also maknae, pictured as the youngest

Real!Beomgyu = middle of the hyung line and maknae line CYSM!Beomgyu = rarely regrets not taking responsibility of what he has done to others; either manipulative or just being childish

Soobin looked down and looked like he felt like it was his fault for snapping out in front of them. It also resulted Hueningkai to see what was happening in the reality while Beomgyu just stares blankly.

In my HONEST OBSERVATION, Beomgyu doesn't know how to sympathize to what Soobin feels because he's a sociopath.

3:10 - 3:14 - We see Yeonjun wrapping himself in the blanket that Beomgyu used to suffocate Taehyun as it transitions to the members losing their minds.

But why does Yeonjun look fine in it (not fine FINE but yes he does look hella fine in it LMAO)? Is he trying to sympathize to what Taehyun felt during the "Suffocation Incident"?

The members losing their minds? Each of them needed help from each other, even Yeonjun who fully understands the situation.

3:33 - Yeonjun looks into the camera as the fire in the oven started growing.

To me, it looked like Yeonjun accepted the blame. The blame that he was the cause of the fire when in fact...

It was actually Beomgyu (Read time stamp: 0:44 - 0:51).

3:35 - 3:37 - We see a shot of Beomgyu and Hueningkai being bothered by the fight. We also see a shot of Yeonjun and Taehyun being bothered as they were victims of Beomgyu's manipulation.

Summary:

Beomgyu manipulated everyone by making them see the innocent, pure, and childish side of him while he takes over his victims slowly. Although, he has a side of conscience but it rarely ever showed up because his situation is too severe

Yeonjun was the only who fully understands Beomgyu's actual persona, a sociopath. Yeonjun also took the blame because he knows that deep down inside Beomgyu, there's a kind person who's lost in the real world while trying to find himself.

Hueningkai is just as lost as Beomgyu but the difference is that he depends on his hyungs more than himself, being self-centered.

Taehyun, on the other hand, thinks differently from Yeonjun. Taehyun's character is matured but if you consider the age gap between him and Yeonjun, there are still possibilities that he's still more immature than him. Taehyun most likey doesn't understand why Beomgyu is like this and is close-minded when he sees happy friend turn into something that dark.

Soobin is tired of being alone and having no one. It's even shown in the concept trailer that he wants to wake up from that nightmare he has... being alone, left out, and eaten up by the darkness around him. The darkness? Taehyun-Beomgyu-Yeonjun situation and guilt.

Lastly, do the strawberries represent something? Yes.

In this mv, eating strawberries represents them being blinded by Beomgyu's pure image. The red lighting also represents Beomgyu's thoughts and intentions (manipulating members and attacking them slowly).

IN CONCLUSION: The "Can't You See Me?" question applies to everyone of them. They all need serious help and the right attention. They all need to help each other, not turn their backs from one another.

The question: were the flashbacks from the Runaway MV set in the future or in the past?

//the end//

Y’all can message me if you noticed things I didn’t notice or take note of :))

[kakitysax]

more jelly alien and human adventures!! maybe they find an abandoned town or something?

This got WAY too long and they ended up not even getting to the town lmao. So like, stick around for part 2. 3? 3. Also once again I did not edit this a lot so it might be terrible shgh

Anyway, I decided that the squishy squids are basically rounder, simpler, smaller, softer versions of these aliens, which I designed for an original story. They call any limbs that they make at the bottom of their spinal cord “peds,” as in, like, bipedal, quadraped, whatever. The limbs they make on the sides of their torso they call “pens,” short for appendages.

Uhhh now that that’s out of the way, story below the cut. And Link to Part 1, if you haven’t read it.

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The squishy thing dozed on and off through the day as the human continued to trek through the woods. It had its form arranged into six tentacles - four peds, which wrapped above and below the human's arms to join over their chest, and two pens, wrapped gently around the human's neck to keep its head and torso upright. Its head it rested against the back of the human's neck, feeling the rhythms of their cardiovascular system thrumming through their rib cage.

The squishy thing's circadian rhythm was short and light, but it was surprised at the quality of sleep that it was getting, considering the circumstances.

Occasionally the human would ask after it, or the squishy thing would ask how they were progressing, but for the most part the journey was silent.

The squishy thing hadn't realized that it had dozed off again until the human shook it awake. "Hey," they whispered. "Hey. Jelly Bean.”

The squishy thing lifted its head off the back of the human's neck. "Whuzzat?" it asked, rubbing its eyes. "Are we home?"

"No," said the human quietly, and the squishy thing noticed that it was dark. "I think we're going to have to make camp for the night," they continued.

The squishy thing was fully awake now. "Are we lost?"

"No, no no," the human reassured it. "Hardly. But I can't navigate when the sun's down." They crouched down to the ground. "Go ahead."

The squishy thing blinked.

"Hop OFF, Gummy Bear," the human said. "I need you to stay right here so that I can remember where we are. Also my back is getting tired."

The squishy thing started. "Oh! Of course, sorry." It slid off the human's back and huddled on the ground instead.

The human straightened up with a sigh of relief and rolled their shoulders. The squishy thing felt something inside it clench again, remembering all those sinews and muscles and teeth.

The human looked down at it and grinned with all of them. "Back in a sec," they said, then walked off into the woods.

The squishy thing blinked. Where were they going? It opened its mouth, but the human's back was already vanishing between the trees.

It was getting quite dark now. And the noises of the woods echoed around it, life forms that it couldn't see on a planet that it didn't know. And the human had just walked off. Were they leaving it? No, they wouldn't do that. Would they?

The minutes ticked by and the squishy thing found itself growing more and more nervous. Should it go look for them? What if it got lost? The human had told it not to move. What if they got mad? It had never seen an angry human before...there had been several times where it thought that it had, but the humans in question had usually just been playing. That was how they PLAYED. It didn't want to see one angry for real.

What if they had gotten lost? No, they wouldn't get lost. Perhaps they had forgotten about it. Or had decided to leave it behind. Perhaps the navigation thing was just an excuse to get it to stay there while they left it. Or perhaps the human had found other humans while it was asleep earlier, made some sort of agreement to ditch it and leave the planet alone.

Could it blame them? It had been pretty useless so far, hadn't it? Just sitting on their back all day, dozing, always scared, always weaker than it...

Something came crashing through the brush. The squishy thing started, sense-stalks tensing, extending. Human? Maimou? Something worse?

The human stepped into the clearing with a leaf in their hair and an armful of wood.

"You came back!" the squishy thing exclaimed, sense-stalks slackening with blessed relief.

"Uh. Yeah," said the human. They stepped towards the squishy thing and dropped the wood. "I was just getting firewood. Did I not tell you?"

The squishy thing shook its head.

"Oh. Sorry about that." The human knelt down and started to arrange the sticks into a strange little structure. "Hope you didn't, like...worry too much," it said, distracted.

"Oh no," said the squishy thing quickly. No worries here. It wasn't afraid at all. It hadn't thought they were going to leave it or turn on it or anything, this strange and beautiful alien with the lovely eyes and the terrifying teeth.

The human finished its stick stacking and pulled out a pair of rocks. It struck them together sharply, and sparks flew out and LIT THE TWIGS ON FIRE.

The squishy thing screamed, shrinking away, pedal tentacles fusing into something more suitable to run...

The human dropped their rocks in shock. "SHHHH!" it hissed through its teeth. "YO! WHAT GIVES!"

The squishy thing pointed. "F-FIRE! FIRE!"

"Yeah, it's a fire!" the human whisper-hissed. "I'm building a fire! Keep it down!"

"Y-BUILD? A FIRE? On PURPOSE?"

"Shhhhh-sh-sh-sh," said the human, reaching out and making placating gestures with their hands. "Yeah! A little campfire! To keep us warm!"

"A FIRE."

"Yeah."

"Just to keep us WARM?"

"Well, yeah! And to have some light, and keep predators away,  and maybe signal some of our friends."

The squishy thing was starting to calm down, but not much. "But it's FIRE," it stammered. "It's a...an accident! It'll SPREAD!"

The human shrugged. "It's just a little one. I've lit them thousands of times. It's perfectly safe if you do it right, and if you make sure that it's completely out the next morning."

The squishy thing relaxed a little more.

"It's fine. It's under control."

The squishy thing forced itself to relax completely, legs collapsing back into pedal tentacles. It coiled them around itself and frowned at the fire warily. "Are you sure?"

The human snorted. "Y'know, my species survived with nothing but fire for light and heat? For thousands of years?" They leaned back, staring into the flames. "Yours probably did, too, come to think of it."

"Maybe," said the squishy thing doubtfully. "A LONG, long time ago, maybe."

The human rolled their eyes. A common expression of annoyance among their species.

A bit of the doubtful fear from before struck through the fresh and fading terror. The squishy thing had been terrified about something the human found perfectly natural. It must seem stupid and cowardly to them, this savage thing.

It opened its mouth to say something for itself, but then the human snapped their fingers. "Bulbasaur."

"B-beg pardon?" asked the squishy thing.

"That's what you fuckers look like," said the human. "Bulbasaur faces, with little..." the human turned to them and held their hands next to their head, wiggling their index fingers. "Slug eye things. Only without the actual eyes."

"You mean my sense stalks?"

"Yeah," said the human, teeth flashing in a smile. "Whatever you wanna call them." They leaned back on their hands, looking immensely satisfied. "I knew it was a Pokemon. It's been on the tip of my tongue all day."

"What?"

"You were looking at me earlier, you know, right after we jumped the gorge? And it hit me. I was like, 'these things look like some kind of Pokemon.' And I spent all day trying to figure out which one it was. Well. I had the image for a while, but the name..."

"I do not understand."

The human waved a hand dismissively. "Eh, it's a human thing."

"Oh," said the squishy thing, feeling a pang of disappointment.

The human glanced over at them, then back at the fire.

"It's a game," they said a few moments later.

"What?" asked the squishy thing.

The human shook their head a little. "Uh...a game? A really, really old game that humans invented."

"What is the game?" asked the squishy thing.

"Well," said the human. They rubbed the back of their neck and laughed nervously. "The idea is that...you have these little monsters. These creatures? And you're training them to fight each other."

"FIGHT each other?"

"No!" the human exclaimed. "No no no no no. They're not real. They're pictures of little...little made up monsters. On cards?"

The squishy thing's sense stalks twisted in confusion.

The human looked away, waving their hands as if trying to shoo the conversation from the air. "Eh, it's stupid. It's really stupid. Forget about it."

The squishy thing studied the human carefully. They really made no sense sometimes. But their face looked...different. More pink? Saturated with blood.

A human sign of emotion. Embarrassment, usually, or shame, or anger. But the human didn't look angry. Was it possible...they were embarrassed?

The squishy thing thought for a moment. "Uh...do you have any of these cards present?"

The human looked up.

"The, uh..." the squishy thing's sense stalks retracted a bit, its own sign of insecurity. "The Pokemon cards?"

The human looked surprised. "I do," they said, somewhat automatically.

"May I see?"

The human blinked. Then they reached into their breast pocket and fumbled with the snap.

"We, uh, brought them to play on the ship," said the human. They showed the cards to the squishy thing. "Here, see?"

The squishy thing squinted at the cards. The one on top had a drawing of what looked like a tiny, bright orange maimoude, But with a more human-looking face. The human's finger tapped at the face. "That's Chimicar. Underneath it, there, is Dewott. And beneath that one is a Weepinbell-"

"What do these symbols mean?" asked the squishy thing.

"Oh," said the human. "That's what kind of type it is. Chimicar is fire, Dewott is water..."

"Type?"

The human blinked. "Oh, gosh...okay, so...a long, long, LONG time ago, before this game was even invented and humans didn't know anything about chemistry, people thought that there were five elements? Or four, depending what part of the world you were from. Uh, fire, water, wood, rock, and metal."

"But metal is simply a purified form of-"

"Yeah, but they didn't KNOW that back then. This was...thousands upon THOUSANDS of years ago."

"So...these 'Pokemon...' are fictional creatures with abilities that correspond to these traditional elements?"

"Yes!" said the human, beaming.

"So there are five kinds of Pokemon," said the squishy thing triumphantly.

"Uh...no."

"Oh."

"There's more. They added more. Ones that...aren't the traditional elements."

"Oh. How many kinds are there?"

"Uh...we're not quite sure, actually. Nobody remembers. Nobody on the crew, anyway...someone out there probably remembers. This isn't, like, vital information to preserve, you know. It's just a game. A really, really old game."

"I see." the squishy thing examined the cards more closely. "These seem...well-used."

The human snorted. "Well, YEAH. They're like, centuries old."

"They no longer manufacture these?"

"Oh no. No no no."

"Where did you obtain these ones?"

"Uh..." the human laughed nervously. "We found them at a novelty store. Remember that shore leave day? That market planet?"

The squishy thing nodded.

"Yeah. This dude, had, like, an old box just FILLED with Pokemon cards. We were all so excited. Sam was like 'YO!' and then Alex was like 'YO!' and then we were all like 'YO!' and we HAD to buy them, of course. But we all had to be like, really nonchalant about it, because we had to haggle for them? I had to take Cameron outside and everything because they were too excited-"

"I remember that day," said the squishy thing. "I remember the box! You were all...very loud about it, weren't you?"

Loud was an understatement. That was the first time the squishy thing had been truly terrified of human beings. Shrieking words and frothing mouths and thrown objects and slamming their hands against tables. The other crew members had thought that the humans were going to try to kill each other, but the humans had assured them with some confusion that they had no intention of violence.

"Oh my gosh, yeah, I remember!" the human exclaimed, "We had to decide who got what cards...there were like, three albums of cards and we had to decide who got which ones..." the human trailed off, then burst out laughing.

"What is funny?" asked the squishy thing.

"No no no," choked the human. "No, no. I'm just remembering, there was this one moment where Chris..." they snorted. "Chris pointed their hand like this..." the human jabbed their hand demonstratively, "and they said, they were like," the human lowered their voice, words wavering as they tried to hold an expression and tone of intensity, "Alex I swear to God if you even fucking look at that Gengar I will eat your toenails I do NOT give a fuck!" the feigned severity had worn of by the end of the sentence, and now the human was laughing again.

"I don't understand," said the squishy thing, but watching the human laughing, eyes scrunched up and teeth shining in the firelight, it found itself giggling too.

The human snorted and sniffed and sighed, wiping tears of mirth from their eyes. "You had to be there," they said. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, it's not that funny. I'm just tired -" giggles burst out of them again. "Anyway. Now whenever we come across new cards we find some random Jelly and ask them to divide them up for us without looking. That way it's fair."

"And no one's toenails are consumed?"

The human looked at the squishy thing with an expression of shocked delight and burst out laughing again. This time it was so intense that the squishy thing slid itself back a few inches.

"I am sorry," it tried.

"No, no no...that was just...really funny, I...you surprised me, gumdrop. That's all."

"I see…” said the squishy thing, but it was confused about something else the human had said. ”Um...If you don't mind my asking, what is a Jelly?"

"Th-that's what we call you," the human explained. "Your...species. We just call you Jellies. It's easier."

"Easier than what?"

"What you call yourselves. What's your name, by the way?"

The Jelly flinched and looked at the human. "You...want to know my name?"

"Well, yeah," said the human. They broke a stray twig and threw half of it into the fire. "I mean...we almost died together. I think we're at that point, you know?"

The Jelly couldn't figure out why this made it so nervous. So...happy. It looked at them doubtfully. "You may find it hard to pronounce."

The human shrugged. "I'm sure I will. I'd still like to try. And I'd like to know, even if I can't say it."

The Jelly hesitated, then said their name.

"Yeesh," said the human. "Uh, one more time?"

The Jelly repeated it dutifully.

The human hesitated, then tried for themself.

Humans didn't seem to be able to control their tongues that far back, so they had to make the undulations with their own saliva, which gurgled randomly instead of forming precise consonants. The clicks and clucks they made with different movements of their tongue in the front of their mouth, resulting in different acoustics altogether. And they only seemed to be able to make one pitch with their vocal cords at a time, which threw off most of the vowels. But still, the Jelly was impressed.

"Wow," it exclaimed.

"Did I do it?" asked the human, their eyes lighting up. "Did it sound right?"

"Uh," said the Jelly, "it sounded like something!"

The human's face fell. "Oh."

"No, no! It was a very good attempt. It almost sounded like, like a word! Not any word that I know. But it did sound like something! And you were very resourceful."

The human nodded with self-approval. "Yeah, I'll take that. What do I call you, then?"

"Oh..." the Jelly hesitated. "You don't need to call me anything, really."

The human groaned and lay back on the forest floor, stretching their arms above their head. They turned to the Jelly, hair in their face and a pout on their lips. "You're killing me, Gummy Bear. Just a little nickname, that's all I'm asking."

Something in their expression and tone made the Jelly's digestive system invert. It looked away, stammering. "Y-you can call me whatever you want. It doesn't matter to me, really..."

“Mmmmmmmmm,” said the human thoughtfully. They snapped their fingers. “Mochi.”

“What?” asked the Jelly, startled.

“I’m gonna call you Mochi. Because you look like a little mochi. You’re round and squishy and green, like a little...a little green tea mochi.” the human explained, making little shapes with their fingers.

“What is a...mochi?”

“Oh! It’s a human dessert,” said the human. “A little squishy ball...thing. It’s delicious. I love it. I love it for you. It’s perfect. If you like it, of course.”

The human looked back at them, suddenly uncertain. And even if the Jelly hadn’t liked the name, it couldn’t argue with those eyes.

“Y-yes,” they said. “Yes, you may call me this. You may call me...Mochi.”

The human studied them. Their face broke into a grin. “Mochi,” they said. Their tone was warm and soft, and made the Jell- Mochi’s vascular system hiccup and its entire digestive system tie itself into knots.

The human extended their hand.

Mochi was confused, but gingerly stretched out one of their peds. The human reached out and gripped it. Mochi felt a shiver go up its spinal cord, and let out a little gasp.

“My name’s Rory,” said the human. “It’s nice to officially meet you.”

“N-nice to meet you too,” said Mochi.

[thewritingstar]

Pretty Sparks: Greens oneshot

Pairing: Buttercup and Butch (Greens)

Fandom: Powerpuff Girls

My first fic for the greens and I’m going to self indulge cause I want something like this to happen for them. The rough around the edges are actually softies.

Enjoy!!

———

The skate park was empty, which would make sense since it was 2 am on a Saturday night or well, morning.

She grunted as she landed and pushed herself against the rail of the skate parks small gate. He followed behind her landing just as gracefully and slumping alongside her. 

“Dances are stupid.” He said and he tried to lighten the mood. Even after that dreaded thing they called homecoming, he couldn’t believe she left one comment get to her.

“Buttercup in a dress? Never thought I’d see the day, well she isn’t the pretty one but it’s great that you tried.” Princess sneered. 

“Yeah, their stupid alright.” And he thought it was directed towards something other than the dance.

The sight of seeing Buttercups fist tighten and then release was odd. It was Princess so she should have no problem slamming her facing into a brick wall, but she didn’t. 

Butch was waiting for his “date” to explode on her but instead Buttercup turned around and went back to their group of friends and ignored her. He thought she looked fine in her short black dress. He didn’t see the big deal and she had a killer body to fill it anyways.

But apparently not everyone, Buttercup, was that convinced. They ditched after a few minutes once she couldn’t stand the stares and gossip. They thought they could whisper but the super hearing she was blessed with was now a sick joke.

He had heard it too but followed her out instead of doing something to those stupid fucking girls that follow Princess around like lost dogs. 

And now they were here.

“Listen B, fuck those girls. You’re Buttercup. The Fucking toughest fighter, who gives a shit what they think?” He said but the energy was unmatched.

She was silent. Head full of thoughts and toying with her fingers.

“Buttercup, please do not tell me you are hung up on the petty comment.” He said blankly. “It was Princess. She literally hates you.”

She said nothing but looked down, ashamed at herself

“Oh my god.” He laughed again. “Did you and Bubbles switch bodies when I wasn’t looking? Since when do you care what others think?”

Her lip twitched and in that moment the silence shifted.

“Oh.” His lips turned to a frown. “That did get to you huh?” 

“It’s not that I don’t think I’m pretty.” She huffed. Her body slouched against the rail and her head went down before she looked up towards the sky. “I just don’t really feel pretty.”

He gave her a questionable look. “So you know you’re hot but you don’t feel it? Weird. Like I know I’m a hot piece of ass.”

She raised her eyebrows fast at the comment and put a hand thrown her hair.

“Yeah well you’re siblings aren’t two of the most sought after girls in the world. Long flowing hair and perfect smiles. I’m just the brawn, the muscles. Ha, most people think I’m a boy.” She rolled her eyes. “Not even me in this stupid dress can convince them.” She fluffed up the bottom angrily.

He wanted to laugh at her joke but the look on her face said other wise. He’s seen her mad, borderline raging with blood on her face and throat going dry from a scream. He knows the face of focus, eyes draw narrow and tight lips and he’s even seen her break out into a loud cackle and snort milk up her nose. He’s seen it all.

But this.

This look was one not in his Buttercup Pokédex. Her eyes held nothing, just sadness like a dog wet from the rain. Her cheeks were puffed out, red but not with anger, more like bitterness. Her stance was fragile and timid and if you were to poke her, she might just break. Everything he thought he knew about her vanished in front of him. A new and insecure side of her, he had never seen. 

He hated it. He hated that she could just lose herself like that. That the the crown she wears on her head could be taken easily and snapped in half. She was a bad ass. he wanted to see the fire and the sparks that ignited her. He wanted to see her bold and dark side, not this wimpy mess of a girl. He knew her better than that. She was better than that. 

She shouldn't have to feel less than towards her sisters. No. He knew she was the best one. The way she flies across the sky or delivers a soul sucking punch, that was the Buttercup he loved to see. 

Loved? No, he enjoyed seeing her like that. Yeah. 

-

Her shoulders shook from the cold and she cursed under her breath for not bringing her jacket. Without hesitation, he shrugged off his suits jacket and placed it over her shoulders. His fingers lightly feathered over her bare shoulders and his hands came to the collar of the jacket. 

She shouldn’t doubt her beauty. 

“I don’t think you should compare yourself to your sisters.” He spoke. 

Was he sweating???

“Look your sisters may be pretty and nice and all but you.” He lightly punch her shoulder. “You have this fire and determination. This power that just oozes out of you and commands everyone to look your way whether you notice or not.”

His eyes focused on a near by tree as he bit his lip. “You have this killer smile and boss attitude, and hey you’re hot as fuck.” He laughed that one off.

He turned towards her to see if he helped but he was met with a wide eyed Buttercup. Her mouth was slightly parted and her puffed out cheeks had become dusted with pink.

“And I think you look great in that dress. You don’t always have to dress up to put bitches in their place.”

Her eyes had soften and goosebumps coated his arms. He didn’t understand why she couldn’t see herself like how he saw her. Strong, powerful, bad ass, beautiful-

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

And he realized what he had done. That swelling feeling in his chest had plummeted through the roof and he felt the pace quicken up faster than what he thought was humanly possible.

“Sometimes I like these things.” She said softly.

His dark green eyes mimicked her bright one and he couldn’t stop himself from brushing an piece of hair from her cheek.

“Sometimes I want to be pretty.” She took a step towards him, their eyes never leaving the others.

He swallowed hard and he didn’t realize how delicate and soft she looked now. She didn’t know why she looked like she was glowing or why he was sweaty and wanted to hold her close.

He slowly touched her hand and she let him.

“And maybe you don’t feel pretty but-“ he leaned in, closer than they have ever been before. His eyes looked into hers, searching for an answer making sure that what he was doing wasn’t a mistake.

She nodded.

“You’re beautiful.” He leaned closers to her as he was a head taller. She was right there and he had nothing more to lose.

His lips fell to hers and he couldn’t explain it but there was a spark, an energy that passed through them. Sure he’s kissed other girls before but this, this was different. It was natural and fresh. Something he wanted.

His lips turned to a smile as she threw her hands around his neck and came closer to him, digging her hands into his mess of black hair. His own hands found her waist and he never wanted to let her go.

But a part of his deep inside questioned all of this. Could he really love-no that was stupid. He might have been born for evil intentions but he had human emotions. He knew it.

On the other hand, this was his best friend. The one who he could joke with like no one else. The one who can take a punch and throw it harder back to him. They were two puzzle pieces that had finally found where they fit.

And he decided together was the best spot. They always say opposties attrct but she was his idea of perfection and who would give up pefection for something else?

Her lips were soft against his own and even though she was made of spice, he wondered if perhaps the univserve had made a mistake because he was getting a suagr high from her alone. 

They pulled away, their breath visable in the cold between them and when he looked at her, slightly panting, her eyes were wide and she shook her head lightly before they both let out a small laugh. 

He rested his forehead against hers. “BC, what are we doing?” He said breathlessly and she only blew up her bangs before biting her lips.

“I think you were going to kiss me again.” Her hands found their way into his hair as he kissed her again.

Their first kiss was soft and sweet but this one held a flame they both craved. It was egar and desperate, they both knew what they wanted but now that the understood the other, it was like a full throttle.

She had forgotten how cold it was as her body became kissed with flames. She felt cold metal press under her thigh as she realized he had lifted her up and set her ontop of the rail, settled in between her thighs so now she was the one leaning down.

Her hands kept around his neck as he had one around her waist and the other on the bar, she wasn’t scared that he would drop her, it was only a three foot gate anyways. Her head tilted to feed into the kiss and she swore she had become captivated by his cologne.

Buttercup had long forgotten about the comment Princess made. He was right to say not to compare herself because she was pretty. He made her feel beautiful and made her feel like how she wanted too. Even in her sneakers and tee shirts, hair dripping with sweat or blood coating her knuckles, she felt confident and dare she say cute when she was around him.

She didn’t realize it until now but Butch treated her differently than others. Never the delicate girl or went easy on her, no he knew she could play rough and encouraged her best.

They say opposites attract but right now she never felt more connected to someone and that’s how she liked it.

And for him, he found her captivating as well. Being able to joke around and be gross and have cruel humor but she always laughed, egged him on, saw the light when most people only gave him the darkness.

They pulled away, more breathless than before and practically panting. Her lips felt bruised and used but she enjoyed it as she saw his own darkened lips which made her semi proud. She could imagine Blossom now, finding out that she had just kissed an enemy to them. Not even Bubbles had been as close to her counterpart...yet and Blossom could barely be in the same room as any of them.

It felt wrong but burned with passion on the other hand. She felt like she was doing something unforgivable, maybe she was. But she didn’t care.

She looked at him, his eyes were on the floor as he caught his breath. She stared at him intently, he wasn’t all that bad. And maybe she wasn’t all that good, after all, she was spice. Every one in awhile, she needed a little heat.

Maybe people could change, no they certainly can. Because her view on herself had shifted when she saw him on the first day of school. In that moment she knew he was always meant to be near her, as friends, or possibly more.

“Damn.” He said and looked back at her. “That’s some good shit right there.” He winked and she lightly punched his arm.

“Not to bad yourself.” She laughed.

The moon in the sky was now as high as possible and she felt the dread of having to leave. He saw her mood change instantly and he also knew she had to saw goodbye.

She slipped down from the rail, dusting down her dress and making sure she didn’t look like she had gotten caught up in a trap. The jacket was slid off her shoulders as she handed it back to him slowly. The cold air hit her skin and she wished it was on again.

A small frown appeared as he saw the black jacket being handed over.

“My sisters.” She said and he nodded, no one needed to know.

“Yeah. Guess I’ll see you Monday?” And she gave him a small smiled before turning and walking out the gate.

He watched as she walked, just reaching the edge of the entrance before stopping. She turned on her heel and soon she was in his face again before plastering a wet kiss on his lips quickly. She pulled away and a giant smile broke out on his face.

“Thank you.” She said quickly. “For saying those things.”

“What? That you’re beautiful?” He smirked.

“Um. Yeah.” Shy Buttercup, added to the Buttercup Pokédex.

He laughed a little before kissing her cheek softly, she never thought he could be so gentle. “I may be a thief and an occasional villain, but I’m no liar when it comes to precious things.” He winked and her cheeks went up into flames.

“Uh haha, yeah.” She smiled. “Um I should go.” She pointed behind her and took off with her green streak gracing the sky.

He watched as she left and his super hearing picked up a feathery giggle that came from her lips. Giggling school girl Buttercup has been added to the Pokédex.

A low whistle left his lips as he slapped his jacket over his shoulder and walked out of the park and towards his place.

He didn’t even notice that his smiled never left his face until he entered the house to see Boomer passed out of the sofa and Brick sitting in a chair drinking milk.

“The fuck are you so happy about?” Brick asked as Butch just waltzed to his room without even responding, he just hummed lightly before shutting the door and collapsing onto his bed.

“I’m fucking whipped.” He whispered to himself before the weight of sleep crashed onto him like a semi truck. The only thing he could think of was how pretty a black hair girl with bright beaming green eyes looked. And how much better she tasted.

———-

I hope you all enjoyed!!!

[neohighwayv]

Ships that pass in the night

Characters: NCT Dream Renjun x fem reader

Genre: ghost!au, strangers!au (but it’s not horror – I promise)

Word count: 1.6k

Description: Ships that pass in the night, and speak each other in passing, only a signal shown, and a distant voice in the darkness; So on the ocean of life, we pass and speak one another, only a look and a voice, then darkness again and a silence. – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

This is often meant to refer to people who meet for a brief but intense moment, only to part, and never see one another again.

Author’s note: Inspired by a module that I took last semester on ghosts and spirits, I hope you enjoy the non-traditional take I took on the idea of ghosts! :)

Credits: @hoodedsuns​ for the inspiration on the title and description!

------

Renjun might have left this world a little too soon for his liking but even in his passing, he does his best to continue being the boy that lights up the world. Being dead doesn’t mean he has to stop spreading kindness and positivity in this world.

He lingers around the school campus that he attended before the terrible accident that took away his life one winter night, looking out for students that might need help. He mostly does small little things that won’t draw the attention of anyone, unless you’re purposely looking out for it. Renjun has left countless notes of encouragement on the belongings of struggling students, something that all of them write off as an act of kindness from a stranger when they weren’t looking. Well, they’re technically not wrong... but they’re only half right. Renjun was no ordinary stranger – he was a ghost.

-

Wandering along the hallways in the evening when most students have already left for home, a lone, lit classroom naturally draws his attention. Peering in through the small window by the door, Renjun notices you bent over the small table, scribbling away furiously on your notes as you bunch your hair up with your other hand. You let out a small sigh of annoyance as you erase your math equation for the 10th time, your patience slowly ebbing out of you as the frustration mounts. Your eyes are burning and the stabbing pain at the right side of your brain just won’t go away. Pressing a hand to your head, you decide that this is it for the night. You’ll deal with that one annoying question that you can’t get right when the sun rises tomorrow. The stabbing pain that has now intensified makes you bristle with anger, and you proceed to shove your stationary into your pencil case as you slam your math textbook shut, both you and Renjun jumping at the unexpectedly loud sound. You’re clearly stressed out, and even Renjun can see that. Renjun wonders what he can do to make you feel better and he catches sight of the acrylic charm of a cat that hangs from your bag, as well as your lock screen that shows a picture of the starry night sky. From this, Renjun gathers at least 2 things. One, you like cats and two, you like the night sky as well. Which is perfect for him honestly, because he’s able to make these 2 things happen.

Once you’ve decided on your route home, Renjun quickly passes through walls and classrooms as a shortcut to reach the school garden before you in search of the school’s resident black cat. He finds the adorable feline under her favourite bush, flicking her tail aimlessly with her eyes closed shut as she sleeps. Cooing at the cat, Renjun successfully catches the attention of the feline, whom now opens one eye lazily to regard Renjun. With the promise of food, she finally agrees to do Renjun’s bidding and walks right into your path to catch your attention. Renjun watches from the sideline as a huge smile stretches across your face, your phone quickly abandoned in favour of the cute feline now curled at your feet. From the side-lines, Renjun watches with a smile on his face as your smile now practically stretches from ear to ear as you play with the cat, especially loving it when she nudges her face into your palm, clearly wanting more affection and love from you. Renjun no longer had a beating heart nor could he feel physical warmth, but he was certain that if he could, his face would be heating up by now as his heartbeat speeds up. You mentally thank your lucky stars in your mind; you weren’t in the best mood, too troubled by not being able to get your math homework right so this furry therapy was exactly what you needed to make you feel better.

Standing just a few feet away from you (not that you can see him anyways), Renjun furrows his eyebrows as he taps his fingers against his chin: How does he get the perfect timing to have you look up at the night sky? Renjun looks left and right, pacing up and down before something rustling by the side of his eye catches his attention. Eyes darting over, he catches sight of the leaves rustling slightly as a light breeze sweeps through their gaps.

That’s it.

Moving to stand in front of you, Renjun conjures up a gust of wind from behind you, momentarily causing the leaves to rustle violently as your clothes billow around you. The sudden blast of cool air catches you completely off guard and you watch as your hairband unravels from the force of the sudden gale, and travels towards the night sky. You jump on the balls of your feet to catch it before it drops to the ground, and you nearly forget how to land properly.

“Wow.”

Eyes trained on the violet night skies that lay above, that was all you were capable of vocalising. You find yourself transfixed on the currently unravelling scene, various emotions thrumming through your veins as your bones buzz with excitement. It’s an emotion that comes from deep within the crevices of your body; one that is incomprehensible to the human mind, but entirely understood by the physical body. It’s the kind of emotion that sets every neuron on fire, searing this image into your mind for eternity.

A million stars dot the entire sky, each shining brightly like the crystals that hang from chandeliers in mansions against the backdrop of a violet and blue-black sky. Every inch of the sky is covered by the stars, and you swear that you’re looking at this very moment, is the entire galaxy that has always stay hidden to the human eye. Never in your life have you ever lay eyes upon such a sight – you’ve only seen them in books or documentaries, when they discuss what the skies will look like without all the light pollution from humans. You always felt a little sad when they repeated that point, wondering endlessly about the time you will get a chance to see this magnificent sight, a dream that seemed even further away because you live in the city. But here you are in this moment, laying your eyes upon this sight you’ve only ever dared to dream of seeing. You’re so overwhelmed by this feeling of happiness that you even forget about the absurdity of the situation – that was honestly the furthest thing on your mind right now. The stars all vie for your attention, but you take your time to slowly admire them instead. With not a single cloud in the sky, you get an unobstructed view of the galaxy above you, and you take your time to let your eyes wander around the night sky, trying to soak in every detail of it. Renjun stands close by as you continue to gaze in amazement at the majestic sight above you, watching your eyes shine as they reflect the universe above you. With each soft exhale that you release, you feel the tension being expelled from your body. You honestly never thought that one day you’ll be able to see this view but it is happening right before your very own eyes, and you count it as an immense blessing to be able to witness this sight at least once in your entire lifetime. Who knows when you’ll get to see this again – if ever?

“Whoever it is, be it down here or up there, thank you. Thank you for allowing me to experience this wonder, and for making me happy.”

Renjun hears you loud and clear, and he beams at your heartfelt words. He knows that you’re not aware that this was all his doing – so you’re not really thanking him specifically – but he still smiles at the sweet thought, simply because it’s heart-warming to know that someone still remembers to give thanks for the little things in life that they’re grateful for. Slowly, the effects of his magic wear off and the stars dim till they were before, clouds now hanging in the skies again. Only now are you willing to let your eyes drop to the earth beneath you, a small smile continuing to grace your face as your ears lift in joy, working hard to calm your heart it comes down from it’s previous high. When you turn in his direction and stare for a prolonged period of time, Renjun freezes in his spot, worried that you might actually be able to see him. He breathes a sigh of relief when you bend down to beckon the black cat beside him to you, realising that you only stared because his feline friend was right beside him. Renjun lingers for a few more moments, until you bid the cat goodbye with a scratch under her chin and he makes sure you’re on the bus safely before he turns to leave.

Like ships that pass in the night, what transpired between the two of you will never happen again. Just like how two ships will never pass one another again in the vast ocean, you and Renjun will never find one another again in this sea of people. You’ll remember this night forever; for an act of kindness from a stranger is always the most memorable – they genuinely give without expecting anything in return, wanting nothing more than to help make your day a little better. Like the ships that send encouragement through their shining lights over the cold, violent seas, these kind strangers choose to bring some hope into your life by sending you their best wishes through their actions, sincerely wishing you the best despite knowing nothing about your story.

Constants may always be better than a fleeting stranger, but these acts of kindness from a strangers are just as strong in the spirit of love and giving – strong enough to move sturdy mountains, make the winds howl and quell the violent seas.

Like the ships that pass in the night, you are never truly alone in the world. 

[actuallykiwi]

93 OC Asks

(No one is going to ask so I’m answering anyways LOL)

Get to know Annie! My multi-verse OC :)

Basics:

1. What is their gender? Female

2. What is their sexuality? Straight

3. What is the meaning behind their name? Do they have any nicknames?     Her full name is Anneka Sinclair, but she goes by Annie. I totally stole it from the Skyrim character Anneke pfft

4. Do they have any siblings? How many? Are they older or younger?  Which sibling are they the closest with? She has a twin brother named Alexander, who goes by Alec. They actually made a promise when they were little that they would never call each other their full name unless something was really wrong. They’re best friends!

5. What’s their relationship with their parents like? What about other relatives? When they lived with their parents., they were as close as a family could be. Annie and Alec moved out when they hit their early twenties to explore and find out who they are. They have cousins spread far and thin.

6. What would they give their life for? Any cause she truly believed in, and her brother.

7. Are they in a romantic relationship? With who? How did they meet? HAAA so I’m deciding that. In Skyrim (and my upcoming fic!) she is with Kaidan. The decision for Fallout is between Hancock and Nick, but I’m leaning towards Hancock. Annie rescues Kaidan in Skyrim and he vows to pay off his debt to her. Follow the Fallout 4 questline to see how she met the other 2!

8. What do they believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them? She likes to believe in Heaven, she is a Christian after all. Death scares her a little, but she knows it’s inevitable.

9. What is their favorite color? Favorite animal? Light blue and yellow! Dogs, probably, or dolphins.

10. What are some of their talents/skills? Annie is pretty athletic, and she can sang. She loves drawing, even if she’s not that great at it, and she’s an awesome motivational speaker. Also has a good sense for fashion

11. If they could make a mark on history, what would they like it to be? Whale, as the Sole Survivor, she unites the Commonwealth into the United Commonwealth, and in Skyrim she’s the Dragonborn so

12. How old are they? When is their birthday? 22, July 14

13. What do they do for fun? She is very easily amused, so almost anything entertains her. But she loves reading, practicing magic (ES), singing, and playing with kids 

14. What is their favorite food? How often do they get to eat it? She’s not a picky eater, so she likes anything. Mainly sweets. She’s a scrounger, so it’s not rare for her to find something she likes

15. What was something their parents taught them? “Bad things will always happen. But if you focus on the light at the end of the tunnel, you’ll find that it wasn’t as long as you thought.”

16. Are they religious? Yes, she’s a Christian.

17. Where were they born? Cyrodiil (ES), Smoky Mountains (FO)

18. What languages can they speak? Where did they learn these languages? English and some sign language. When she discovers she’s the DB, she can suddenly understand Dovah. 

19. What is their occupation? In ES, she’s a spellsword/healer. FO, healer/dual pistol wielder

20. Do they have any titles? How did they earn them? A popular nickname “The Happiest Woman in the Commonwealth”. Pretty self-explanatory lol

Personality:

21. What is their favorite thing about their personality? Her optimism, and ability to hide pain well 

22. What is their least favorite thing about their personality? She feels annoying and overbearing sometimes, and naive 

23. Do they get lonely easily? Oh yes

24. Do you know their MBTI type? Probably not, but I know she’s an extrovert

25. What is their biggest flaw? Naivety for sure, but she’s also a huge klutz

26. Are they aware of their flaws? Oh yes

27. What is their biggest strength? Optimism, determination, energetic

28. Are they aware of their strengths? Mostly

29. How would they describe their own personality? Probably bubbly, energetic, optimistic, kinda childish?

30. When frightened, will they resort to “fight” or “flight”? It depends on what’s at stake

31. Does this character ever put somebody else’s needs before their own? Who do they do this for? How often do they do this? Annie never puts herself before others. When she has to, she hates it. It doesn’t matter who

32. What is their self esteem like? On the outside? She seems pretty confident. But inside, she’s facing a lot of her own demons

33. What is their biggest fear? How would they react to having to face it? Losing someone close or letting someone down. Or being alone. In all regards, she would do as she was always told: “Look for the light at the end of the tunnel”

34. How easily do they trust others with their secrets? With their lives? Her brother knows every little thing about her, and they would literally die for one another. She can be overtrusting and overshare sometimes, but she knows what to keep secret and what to share with others.

35. What is the easiest way to annoy them? Pessimism/negativity. 100%

36. What is their sense of humor like? Give an example of a joke they would find humorous. PUNS. FOR. DAYZZZ

37. How easy is it for them to say “I love you”? Do they say it without meaning it? She says it all the time to close friends and relatives, but when it comes to a SO, she will only say it when she truly means it

38. What do others admire most about their personality? Again, optimism and determination. Also, her seemingly endless kindness and patience with people.

39. What does their happily ever after look like? She and everyone around her happy. Her brother by her side, her SO, friends, family, and whatever everyone’s wishes are true. 

40. Who do they trust most? Is that trust mutual? Her brother. Oh yes

Physical Profile:

41. What does their laugh sound like? Do they snort when they laugh? How often do they laugh? Annie’s laugh ranges from a giggle to a belly cackle to just wheezing. Laughter and snorting happen very frequently

42. What is their favorite thing about their physical appearance? Probably her eyes

43. What is their least favorite thing about their physical appearance? Her weight

44. Do they have any scars? If so, what are the stories behind those scars? Nope

45. How would they describe their own appearance? Blonde bouncy curls always in a high bun and underneath a tied blue bandana (ribbon in ES), blue eyes, loads of freckles, a little chubby and pale, and glasses

46. How easily can they express emotions? How easily can they hide emotions? Happy emotions are never hidden, and she’s pretty good at hiding sadness and anger. But when she’s visibly upset, something is really wrong...

47.  What’s their pain tolerance like? Physical? She can take a hit. Emotional? She feels strongly.

48. Do they have any tattoos? What are the stories behind those tattoos? Nope

49. Do they have any piercings? Also nope

50. How would you describe their style of clothing? How would they describe their style of clothing? Usually something bright and aesthetically appealing, she loves styling outfits. 

51. What is their height? Weight? 5′5″, [REDACTED]

52. What is their body type? Are they muscular, chubby, skinny, etc? Curvy, a little on the chubby side, but also fairly muscular

53. What is their hair color? Eye color? Skin tone? Blonde, bright blue, average Caucasian white

54. What is their current hairstyle? What have been some of their past hairstyles? Which was their favorite hairstyle? Almost always in a high bun. Occasionally a ponytail or down when she doesn’t feel like putting in the effort. Her favorite is a french braid, which her mother used to do for her.

55. What is their alcohol tolerance like? What kind of drunk are they? How bad are their hangovers? Super lightweight. She’s what you may call a “crazy” drunk which turns emotional, and then can sleep for 24 hours straight. She’s out sick for the whole next day. 

56. What do they smell like? Why do they smell like this? (Is it the things they’re around or a perfume they wear?) She loves anything lemon scented, so that’s typically what she may smell like if she can find it. Second to that, coconut.

57. How do they feel about sex? Are they a virgin? Still a virgin, and she’s incredibly shy about that kind of stuff. Cuddler all the way

58. What is their most noticeable physical attribute? Come for the blonde, stay for the striking blue eyes

59. What does their resting face look like? Do they have RBF? More like Resting Surprised Face almost? Wide eyes and high eyebrows

60. Describe the way they sleep. She is a sleeptalker. Will actually hold a full conversation with you in her sleep and remember nothing about it the next day. Only bits and pieces. Very cuddly, snores occasionally.

Environment:

61. Which season is their favorite season? Spring

62. Have they ever been betrayed? How did it affect their ability to trust others? Not by anyone closer to her, but outside of that, she’s kind of used to being taken advantage of. “As long as they’re happy!” she says.

63. What is always guaranteed to make them smile? Almost anything, but mainly the smile of others.

64. Do they get cold easily? Do they get overheated easily? Does get cold, yes, prefers the cold though. 

65. What’s their immune system like? Do they get sick often? How do they react to getting sick? She’s pretty average, just the usual allergies during changing of the seasons and maybe a cold. She keeps away from people to protect them from getting it and sleeps it out.

66. Where do they live? Do they like it there? In Skyrim, she starts off in Breezehome and then builds a house in Falkreath. In Fallout, she buys Homebase. She loves both places.

67. Is their bedroom messy? What about their bathroom? Kitchen? Living room? She forgets to clean sometimes, but never lets it get out of hand.

68. How did their environment growing up affect their personality? Annie and Alec grew up in a loving home, with parents just as cheery as her, so she has always been upbeat and chipper.

69. How did the people in their environment growing up affect their personality? Uh, same question? She had a lot of friends in school and never payed attention to the negative much, so, yeah

70. How do they feel about animals? Do they have any pets? LOVES animals. She has Dogmeat of course, and in Skyrim she befriends a fox named Misha.

71. How are they with children? Do they have any? Do they want any? Annie worked in a daycare pre-war (FO), and a school (ES), so she is all about kids. Doesn’t have any, but definitely wants one someday.

72.  Would they rather have stability or comfort? Is both an option? Probably comfort.

73. Do they prefer the indoors or outdoors? Outdoors

74. What weather is their favorite? Do they like storms? She likes warm weather (not hot) and a beautiful sunny day, but she loves watching thunderstorms

75. If given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen? Probably doodle

76. How organized are they? Average, not really a neat freak

77. What is their most prized possession? Her blue bandana/ribbon. It essentially became part of her character when she was young, always was her favorite

78. Who do they consider to be their best friend? She has sooooo many. If she had to pick one outside of Alec and her SO: Serana (ES), and Piper (FO)

79. What is their economic situation? Not rich, not poor

80. Are they a morning person or a night owl? Morning person

Miscellaneous:

81. Are they bothered by the sight of blood? Not typically, but if insides are out, she gets queasy

82. What is their handwriting like? Not the greatest, but legible

83. Can they swim? How well? Do they like to swim? LOVES swimming. Doesn’t get to in Fallout, but misses it terribly

84. Which deadly sin do they represent best? Envy

85. Do they believe in ghosts? Sure, why not?

86. How do they celebrate holidays? How do they celebrate birthdays? Celebrates most common holidays, especially Christmas. Makes a big deal out of birthdays 

87. What is something they regret? No big regrets, but always wonders if she’s making a difference

88. Do they have an accent? A little southern, yes. Can mimic a British accent really well

89. What is their D&D alignment? Chaotic good

90. Are they right or left handed? Right

91. If they were a tweet, what tweet would they be? “so blessed. so moved. so grateful. cant believe this is my life. never going to take it for granted. always going to give back. thank you” -Justin Bieber (ew)

92. Describe them as a John Mulaney gif. 

93. What’s the most iconic line of dialogue they’ve ever said? I have not written any, but for now imma go with “Kill ‘em with kindness!” 

Wow, did you read this far? Dedication, fam, thank you. You are AMAZING. Now if you skipped the whole thing and just looked at the gif and this, I thank you for at least doing that pfft. Anyways, 95% of these are self inserts because the character kind of is but enjooooy!