#anyway yeah i just got bored
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What soda each of my mutuals would be:
@spirking-and-smirking is Cheerwine
@zenodotus-xxiv is Mountain Dew
@belle-oftheball34 is Cherry Coke
@ezra-returns is Cherry Sprite (google it)
@dontbe-lasanya is Sprite
@spock-in-awe is Nitro Pepsi
@genderqueercomrade is Ginger Ale
@greengoddesssmoothie is Mountain Dew Code Red
@roboticoutlaw is Cherry Pepsi
@three-gnomes-in-a-trench-coat is Classic Pepsi
@yourassimcomingforit is Cherry Coke
@desireisqueer is Classic Coke
@shatnerihardlyknowher is Pineapple Fanta
@neil-perrys-glasses is Cream Soda
@pige0n-fish is Orange Soda
@tuvok-enjoyer is Cheerwine
@banditlikespancakes is Sprite
@frogayyyy is one of those weird specialty sodas /pos
@autistic-spirk is Cherry Pepsi
@snek-of-eden is Pepsi Vanilla Nitro
@varenychenko is Classic Coke
@demiboy-dean-winchester is Classic Pepsi
@minkyumami is Ginger Ale
@kingof-the-crossroads is Cream Soda
@dogwithapog is Mountain Dew
@stevejobsbuysasamsung is Classic Coke
@is-that-sand-in-my-waffles is Root Beer
@bruhruhbuhrb is Diet Coke
@vampirebandmate is Cherry Coke
@sd2006 is Cream Soda
#what am i?#also if we don’t talk much it’s 90% likely that i based this off ur blog theme#anyway yeah i just got bored#merry christmas
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We all know the semi-canonical ‘all the Robins know to hide/duck inside of Batman’s cape, even as adults’ thing.
We also know that Danny ‘is LITERALLY a ghost’ Fenton sucks at remembering his own intangibility while ALSO forgetting to look ahead of him.
All I’m saying is, Danny Fenton (or Phantom, if you’d really like) would absolutely SLAM into Batman on accident while running on roof tops and Bruce ‘Brooding Instinct’ Wayne doesn’t even think twice about letting the kid hide and scanning around for danger before there’s a record scratch of ‘wait who tf is this?’ kicks in.
#dp x dc#dpxdc#dc x dp#dcxdp#danny phantom crossover#listen I’m just SAYING#my initial thought is Fenton bc dark hair and how most of the robins have had dark hair#Danny isn’t even necessarily running from danger. he just got into parkour and forgot how to stop his momentum#I mean you CAN have him running from something. give this an ACTUAL plot#but honestly I just think it’d be a fun little setup#Danny peaks out and. in panic. goes#hi we’re the council of the dead. we’ve been trying to contact you and yours about your extended warranty#*extended life warranty or what have you#Danny hasn’t even gotten death vibes from anyone yet so now he has to wing it#yeah hi… uh. Batman sir. if that’s your preferred moniker?#right so we’re basically the ghost irs and you owe death taxes?#yeah you know the saying. death and taxes. guarantees of life. haha.#which in this case means you owe money bc you aren’t dead yet. probably. idk I uh. JUST got the job .#anyways ohhhh hi yep you’re. red hood. yeah so. mm. yeah we definitely need to get you to the ghostly dmv#it’s the same as a regular dmv but people have actually been bored to death in there#(meanwhile Batman is like WAIT IS THIS SMALL CHILD DEAD?!)#(SURE WHATEVER IM RICH HOW DO I FIND A GHOST ACCOUNTANT AND MORE IMPORTANTLY DO YOU RESPECT GHOST ADOPTIONS?)
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you know im unable to shut up when i have any opinion on zelda (though i try and have thus far succeeded at not commenting on any other concept from the darn book)- i find most totk ganondorf concept art worse than what we got to insulting even (of those i have seen) ..... this one though
much more the one in the background than the one up front, still at least he has the collar and the weapon we saw in the first trailer of things that never happen in the end (like so much else)
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#it looks like he got actual shoes in the bg one#which i like#also the big flowing robe is jsut cool as fuck#i like old japanese aesthetic but i still dont think it fits at all in totk#like its so clearly done to other him from the gerudo despite wearing their symbol all over#idk it looks so much more unique and memorable#sorry but totk gan normal looks a lil boring though i like the pattern in the robe#and his deeeemon form looks more like they tried to do demise again but not quite#like yeah lets use the design things on the uncool and forgotten and possibly retconned villain#and staple it too the much more known one :)#like yes he looks different from the gerudo still and very much still japanese in this concept#but it .... just kinda looks more unique and interesting to me#like in an either go all the way or leave it kinda way#yes i am biased#i love both demise and gan#anyway- i am still a prisoner of art (cant draw weeeee)#(plus IRL stress with my parents and weather change thus migraine yippiiie)
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i don't think wonderland is ready for those alices
#i have so so many things i could say about this cielois madness returns au (yeah that's what i call it. it's not even meant to be cielois)#(but like. ship names are convenient aren't they)#anyway so many things. but that would be a lot so i'll talk about it if someone asks or if i feel like it later#this post's rambles will be about the outfits!!#so. i gave ciel the dollhouse dress and alois the queensland dress#i know they could have been swapped. and it might have made more sense#HOWEVER#i do not care#i can and will put alois in red just because i want to. and of course i would give him a red fit in an amr fusion au#the vibes are rancid. it's perfect. that's what him being in this au is about!!#terrible things happen to children in kuro and in alice ok#anyway. i know queensland would be good for ciel because r!ciel BUT please envision queen luka i BEG#it's heartwrenching to see lizzie look so small in the game already so luka???? soul crushing. i want it.#now. the dollhouse dress for ciel#because of funtom mostly... and the vibes... and he's more of a doll than alois is ngl...#like. i know that it fits alois more because it's heavy on the trafficking and poverty parts but. see if i care#plus the minor theme of exorcising the evil of the city through the pain of children is more ciel-coded. so yeah#and he looks so bad in red oh my god i could not give him another dress... unless it was the mad hatter one and it would have been boring#also very much not fitting#you might notice that i changed the symbols on both of their aprons#in both cases i replaced female with male obviously but#in ciel's case the dollhouse dress has so many disgusting implications and i made them worse you're welcome <3#(replaced female with male and male with one of the symbols you can see on the contract seal. yeah yeah that's fucked i know)#(it's alice madness returns. and fucking black butler. bad things be happening to children!!)#anyway#that's it for my rambles#i got too lazy to do the vorpal blade and hobby horse light trails#so we'll live with the fact that my sketch has better vibes than the final piece#kuroshitsuji#kuroshitsuji fanart
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and then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like I love you
#taagnus#YEAH IM BACK IN THE FUCKING BUILDING AGAIN#taako adventurezone#taako x magnus#magnus burnsides#taz balance#the adventure zone balance#taz fanart#heyyyyyy taagnus crew how we doing? still alive?#GODDDDD#i got bored of all the fandoms i was reading fics for and decided to stop by taagnus and man mannnnn#anyway if anyone gets on me about changes to my taako design ill take out this whole building#i like to change stuff up but overall basically my general vision for his character remains intact#its funny drawing them soft and stuff cause then the actual show is just dingdong jokes#my art
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you guys ever grab your f/o’s face and just *forehead kiss* *forehead kiss* *forehead kiss* *forehea
#this was originally phrased for platonic f/os but i then proceeded to think about doing this with my boyfriends and. yeah#anyway#HEY i finally picked back up gx because i got bored lol#and because. lowkey. judai randomly popping up in my dreams spooked me enough to remember to continue watching it >_<#i am reminded of why he got instantly put on the platonic list despite me barely knowing him lol#literally just. golden retriever#which is so so funny when you look at my two other platonic f/os#like on one hand we have the serious and more mature beyond my years#and then we have the high energy positivity fiends#if i still listed my hs f/os on my list you would see more obviously what i mean lol#sometimes you just want to smother your friend in a dumb display of affection u_u#anyway.#hello#tbh… kissing melv (and technically yb) right where the eye of wedjat would go… <333#self ship#selfship#selfshipping#self shipping#f/o imagines#imagine your f/o#romantic f/o#platonic f/o#self ship community#selfshipping community#platonic: judai#quartzshipping#rainy.file
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WE'RE GETTING EVICTED FROM OUR APARTMENT.
#ok yeah not the best news to suddenly reappear on after almost a month of radio silence#but a shit ton has been happening lately its fucking wild#i had to call the ambulance for my mom :[ DW she's ok !!! just some stomach problems#i went to the club the like last last week ish ?? it was.. okay i wish my friends werent super self concious#abt dancing bc damn it was kinda boring.... almost just stood there for 5 ish hours#got plastered the other day at a friends house too#and we stayed up and watched the whole entire cars franchise and this is probably my biggest hear me out yet...#lightning mcqueen.#LIKE NOT THE FUCKING CAR OK LIKE IF HE WERE A REAL GUY HE WOULD B HOT#......yes its owen wilsons voice yeah ok i get it yeah. shut. shut it. SHUT UP.#anyway cars 1 is a classic a masterpiece muah muah cars 2 is abysmal and cars 3 is pretty good#ALSO I MISSED LESBIAN VISIBILITY WEEK I AM DEVASTATED WHAT DO I DO I FAILED YOU LESBIANS IM SO SORRY........#the karmic debt from me missing it will curse me somehow..........#anyway yeah we r getting evicted i think idk so were apartment hunting and its so difficult everything is so expensive :']]]]#landlords r actually the spawn of satan#thats it for the update ill doodle smthn maybe i dunno zzzz#frambling...?
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(Based off of the reality of having a metal ring in your back as a constant reminder of your fate and how that affects you as a person set in the Switzerland arc)
“Does it hurt?”
Ava’s pressed face down into the pillow sleep curling around her limbs. She hums, she can’t remember what she says, she’s exhausted. Her arms are tangled beneath her pillow. She holds her fingers tightly between each other, her bones ache from the pressure but her hands no longer shake. Ava hasn’t experienced this before, a fear that haunts her at night. (She finds she cannot stop dreaming about dying. It’s stifling in the cover of night trying to figure out where she is.)
She slowly opens her eyes and squints in the darkness. Beatrice is facing her a furrow in her brow that Ava knows she’s doing unconsciously. Ava’s lip quirks a smidgen, Beatrice looks funny. It’s a bit silly to her, Beatrice no doubt working out a solution to an unknown problem that Ava has yet to see in the middle of the night. In her sleepy state she wants to laugh at the imaginary cogs churning in Beatrice’s head.
Beatrice scooches closer and Ava panics, her skin can taste the dust of Bea’s forearm. She hoists herself up on her elbows, turning to face Beatrice. “Wha?” Ava’s shaking off bits of sleep from her mouth when Beatrice repeats herself.
“Does the Halo hurt?”
She doesn’t know if she wants to answer that. Ava peers over Beatrice squinting at the harsh light of the digital clock on Beatrice’s side. Ava loves it, it reminds her of the early 2000’s and the aesthetic of waking up to an alarm to go somewhere. The clock blinks an innocent 1:43 Am, and Ava debates on letting her head thump back down.
She turns her body on her side, she can feel the halo shifting in her back and it makes her want to throw up. The sides of the halo press against her shoulder blades and Ava resists the urge to yank it out. She grits her teeth and settles ignoring the skin of her back pulling tight to accommodate for the ring. Beatrice is still expecting an answer and Ava can’t lie to her, she pulls the covers of the sheet up to her chest hoping to bide more time for an answer.
"Everything hurts Bea," Ava smiles, "getting my ass handed to me is hard work."
Beatrice frowns displeased but looks at her through her lashes, it's unguarded, the stress and worries of the world stay out of their room in the dead of night. Her lashes are so pretty and Ava wants to curse the soft glow of the moon. There’s just enough moonlight to illuminate her eyes but overshadow her freckles. Ava swallows down the taste of defeat, she can’t win, she thinks.
Her gaze is soft, Beatrice is looking at her and it’s different yet the same. The same feeling in her chest constricting her lungs, the same soft gaze of Beatrice. Beatrice who likes what she sees in Ava when Ava can barely see where she begins. She doesn’t like to dwell on it, the truth of the matter being what belongs to Ava.
If she closes her eyes she can pretend just a little longer. She can give herself the hope of the future and what comes after all this. She can put down the fighting and the artifact and live. Ava doesn't want to think about it anymore, at least not tonight when Beatrice is here with her.
Beatrice is soft. She knows it from hours and hours of training. She's felt it when Beatrice corrects her form, in the way she talks. She speaks from a place of care like she has turned the harsh words in her brain over and over to soften the syllables spoken to Ava. And Ava doesn't linger on it, the meaning behind it, (Ava didn't think she'd make it this far, finding a person who cares quite like Bea does.)
And Ava's got it bad, she knows she's fucked because Beatrice doesn’t say anything about her language and Ava can't not tell her the truth. She looks down, her hand fiddling with the bed sheet underneath them.
"It doesn't hurt," if she thinks about it she can feel the fibers of the cotton between the pads of her fingers. "But it's very uncomfortable." She doesn't want to find the response in Beatrice's eyes, content to hear it from her voice. The soft British lilting accent that holds her just as soft as a touch.
She waits, she can picture Bea’s mannerisms with her eyes closed but maybe she should check just to be sure. Ava peers up at Beatrice and she’s suddenly closer. Her eyes really are pretty, there’s a depth to them that Ava wants to spend an ungodly amount of time studying.
“Can I help?”
#tko_writes#AND THEN THEY BANGGGG NASTY UGLY HARDDDDD#tenatively titled:#Do you think i'm kind?#in which i dump soup all over this google doc#soup being trauma#yeah this is ooc what about it#i need to go to bed right now#can u believe it i wrote something relatively normal#bleghhh#it wasn't as bad as I thought it would go#canon writing is boring to me personally but this wasn't too bad#it's just like blah blah imagine having a metal ring in ur back and how sleeping on ur side affects your body#just like body horror#and like the constant reminder of it because how do u escape something that's so uncomfortable sitting between ur shoulder blades but#helps you move and do all the things u dreamed of???#anyway got bonked with this idea talking with ard#everyone thank ard for this if u liked it#i was supposed to write more but i've gotta go to bed#Ava's thoughts are all over the place but i'm gonna say that's cuz she's sleepy#something somethign it's just all the trauma she's gone through because she's had the halo is present and she's constantly reminded of it#because it jostles inside of her and no one was really fit to house a halo#something something GET RID OF THE HALO BEARERS LET THOSE WOMEN LIVE THEIR LIVES#RAHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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honestly my state's pride was ultimately underwhelming this year for me, but i gotta say it's...somewhat nice that it can be boring? like im so accepted and validated by people in my life that pride no longer feels like (for me) an escape or outlet. i attended this specific event with my mom in 2018 and it was my first pride event. i was still in high school. i remember it literally brought me out of a deep depressive episode for a bit, because of how fun and affirming and safe it was. it was a celebration of me and people like me!
but now i kinda get that everyday in my life. so pride really only offers me a chance to hang with some friends, day drink, smoke weed in public, and pick up freebies at every tent. it's basically like any other holiday to me now. but isn't that amazing? that im so accepted and loved and celebrated as a whole queer person, that i can take something like pride for granted?
i'm super thankful for that. i'm still super thankful for pride.
and, i gotta say, it was really touching to see so many middle school and high school aged kids there, sometimes with their parents and sometimes by themselves. i hope they one day can find pride as "boring" as i do. i hope every queer person can.
#im stoned and feeling sappy waaaaaaaaaaaaaah#i love the queer community i love you all sso much#also i gotta say its interesting attending huge pride events like this#but then also going to the conservative rural small town ones#if you ever get a chance to go a pride event in a conservative area i recommend going#these people organizing it sacrifice a lot to get this done#one family i know literally got chased out of town for hosting a pride event which consisted of#a fashion show. a dog costume show. karaoke. cupcake decorating. planting sunflowers. and like. a cockatiel handler bc birb cool.#chased out of town. for regular ass things that were just rainbow flavored#those prides arent boring to me theyre so fuking integral and frankly still a form of protest#so yeah go to your local pride in a conservative area#but anyways thats a completely different topic why tf am i talking aout this in the tags
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#this is so incredibly niche omg im sorry#i was feeling nostalgic about my drarry times#i dont think i ever mentioned why i left the drarry fandom#sorry about that#its a boring story#in 2018 i got quite sick and struggled with my health#one side effect was me not being able to concentrate for longer periods of time#making me unable to read and draw drarry for the first time since i joined the fandom in 2005#when i got better i started slow by watching shows#thats how i got into The Untamed and got sucked into it#since i caj only hyperifxate on one thing at a time i just lost interest in drarry sadly#or maybe i subconciously assocciated it with my health struggles?#anyway this year i stumbled upon a drarry fic rec and coincidentally it was the last fic i read before getting sick#away childish things by lettered#btw#and i never got around to finishing it bc of everything#and i wanted closure maybe so i wanted to reread it#but that kinda led me to remembering why i loved drarry so much#and i miss it#i miss old fandom days on livejournal#sending christmas fandom postcards all around the world#so yeah#i wanted to do something to honor the 2 fandoms in my life that are very dear to me#love u all#sorry for the long story#for such a silly picture#wangxian#mdzs#drarry#the untamed
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I should've been doing my homework . Did another limited color palette drawing instead (with more colors this time though. Tbf. This is a bigger drawing)
#rain world#rw iterator#looks to the moon#jetsams gay hobby#rain world art#art#scheduling this for.... 5 tomorrow?#5 tomorrow. okay#but yeah I noticed that the limited color 5p drawing got much more popular than my other stuff#and like.#that drawing barely took an hour and was a result of me being bored in science class#and tumblr was like “ok we're taking that one and giving it to everyone”#but anyways ive just been getting more notifs from it recently#and i was like.#that was fun#i wanna do it again but with a character I like a little more#and so! moon this time!#no offense to 5p fans hes just like#not my fav#yk#rw looks to the moon
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things that are hard to find: writing advice that isn't condescending.
#ambie.txt#I've been really thinking about this story in my head and wondering what caused me to get burned out from writing#and realising it's all the formal bits. planning an outline organising things into a timeline. I'm more of an impulse writer#and having to think about all those dry and formal things makes me quit before I even start#this is my autism but I hate having to stop and figure out all this before I write because that way I won't write at all#ever since I started free writing I discovered that I still love writing. I love it so much#but I hate doing all of the other things because they are not my special interest and they keep me from pursuing my special interest#it's just very hard to find writing advice that isn't condescending in this aspect#people stressing out you need an outline first are very common unfortunately#I'm more of a vibes no plot person and like to just discribe the vibes in vivid detail#before worrying about the plot too much. and yes in a story there had to be a plot#but if worrying about the plot and connecting all the scenes is killing my creativity#I want to just go from details first and bigger picture later#again. autism. also writing dialogue is the worst. idk how people talk. I don't understand body language etc etc#I have written some pretty good dialogue before so I know I'm capable. it just really sucks when I have to scrutinise everything#and think “would people say this? do they talk like that?” its draining#so I was thinking about writing dialogue separately. maybe write it as a script for a play#which is essentially just dialogue. and then match it with the scene descriptions I have written#like. I know I'm a good writer. I very good one. but the way I have been writing so far has burned me out#because it was too much focused on all the boring bits and not enough on the freedom and joy of just writing#which is why I love free writing. it allows me to focus on a few tiny details and then develop them into something bigger#also I hate writing on a computer so I got some notebooks so I can write on paper instead#it's where I'm most creative I've found#anyway this all just to say that I think following writing advice is not for me at least not now when I'm rediscovering my passion#and that I need to trust myself more and do things that make me happy#so um yeah. best writing advice is to just write and worry about it later
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I love a good scamming/gold digger love story where the manipulative fraud has her target eventually stumbling & falling, all wrapped around her finger, as she's solely concentrated on her goal which turns to shit when she's the one to catch feelings next. Throw in some family dynamic superhero shit along with that too? I'm fucking in. I'm kinda obsessed with this pairing actually, and I haven't been sucked into a kdrama pair for a while so I'm curious to see how this develops. I think I wish Do Dahae had a much more ruthless/witty side like her fake Mom (ofc I like my FLs morally-grey but leaning just a lil more towards evil ehehe) so the romance and her relationship with that kid would be more of a slowburn. She's a bit too plain for my taste for now but I'll accept it because this is my favourite trope & the acting is not shit, so I'm willing to overlook that for more Dohae x Gwiju scenes and the story unfolding.
#the atypical family#bok gwiju#do dahae#just found out that she's hated?#yeah I keep seeing moral police type of posts and honestly... yall are boring asf#probs got shit taste in films outside of kdramas 💀 cuz the lack of media literacy is embarrassing lmao#pure misogyny too#anyways if anyone's evil... it's Ina's dad tbh#an alcoholic neglectful father who didn't even try with his daughter after her mom's death#that baby girl is LONELY#I hate men#and i support women's wrongs; they're just never as bad as men's. did dahae hurt anyone yet? No.#Do Dahae is practically an angel compared to how I wished her character was like
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Every once in a while I think about the ship I've been obsessed over for close to two years now and feel like I'm ascending to another plane of reality. Like sometimes you just encounter a ship that hits every single mark and is perfect in every regard and you're left stunned how something like that can even exist
#Anyways I'mma put the actual inane ramblings in the tags#Medic and Engie make me so ill every time I think about them for a while I feel like tearing into things and biting people and throwing up#How something like that can exist completely defies me#I don't know how something that perfect can exist#I'm typically a multi-shipper and while I still kinda am I honest to god don't really care to write other ships#Not cause they ain't good (they are pretty damn good) but because Engiemedic is just on another level#Like dammnnn!! that's why I've spent so long writing a fic about them!#I can't fathom it honestly how characters like that can exist#They're like a slightly warped reflection of themselves#They're both intelligent mentally ill lunatics with no morals whatsoever#The only thing is that Engie is marginally better at hiding it#If you go into headcanon territory than WHOO!! OHH DAMNNN#Like what gets me the most about Engiemedic is how they're so similar#They think and exist on the same wavelength#In tune with each other. Their neurons braided like wires#If I start talking about how the machine and the flesh are not opposites but rather one in the same we gonna be here all day#I just can't...believe the ship exists#Like man how does this happen#You want humour? Goofy wacky experiments and silliness of them violating several conventions#You want angst? Hell yeah they've got plenty of it#Fluff? Buddy I start wailing and sobbing if they accidentally brush hands while working on stuff#I could write about them for ages and not get bored they can fit in every circumstance#They make me SICK they make me CRAZY I love them so so much#They would do anything for each other#I look at what they have and I can feel like I understand what love is#I need to write more oneshots and minifics about them they're so flexiable and fun#Can't wait to do parallels with them in these upcoming chapters#Either way GODDDDD I love these two so much I could go on for hours about them#especially if I'm allowed to talk about headcanons#sp-rambles
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That ending was kind of shit...
#minors dni#arcane#arcane spoilers#im sorry but you cant kill off the best characters and expect me to enjoy that ending 💀#poor ekko#the only people to win here are cait and vi and not even vi truly won here. like yeah she got the girl. but she lost her sister to get her.#i know i love maddie (even more now she turned against cait) but jinx was the death to truly piss me off.#like maddie i thought she died when ambessa shot at her and cait- so i was like oh rip- oh wait shes still alive- oh rip again#but jinx dying after all this? horrible. like you really couldnt give that poor girl one chance at happiness#anyway im still living in the other dimension with powder and ekko. that shit was romantic af even for straight people#i didnt really care about the cait x vi sex scene?? im gonna be fr i only just remembered it. like yeah it was kind of hot but-#idk how to say this but cait and vi really dont do much for me as a pairing 😬 its like yassamy or luz amity-#like good for them i guess but theres nothing really to keep me interested? like oh they just end up happy... thats kind of boring. 😬#maybe its because im aromantic- i just dont get anything from seeing domestic happy relationships?? i like drama.#but at the same time i like powder x ekko so idk#arcane season 2#arcane season two
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x
#just needed to vent for a sec but oh god am i tired of people#'friends' both irl and online got me fucked up lately#mental healths been in the shitter almost nonstop this year#familys always got me up the wall#i just feel like I'm constantly treading water and i am *tired*. like so fucking TIRED#it's never enough; it's too much; no not like that; but not that either; it's all wrong wRoNg WrOnG#ik im sleep deprived and possibly pms-y and that is most certainly not helping things rn but...#gods i see less and less of a reason to get out of bed and bother with anything ever again#wtf is the purpose#i can't keep friends to save my life bc im apparently a fuckin doormat and interesting as unflavored rice or smth#how hard is it to feel like you maybe sorta kinda matter and aren't an unlovable worthless piece of shit#years of therapy; trying meds; everything under the sun.... and nothing. lows and highs and dips of every kind and yet ..nothing#and maybe im just very much in my feelings rn and just yelling into the void.. but it hurts and im tired of pretending it doesn't.#i hate how hard it is to make friends as an adult especially irl. and how gossipy and cliquey and gross and mean ppl can be#of getting called childish and naive and boring for wanting to be a decent person and having interests outside of partying#(not attacking those traits but tired of getting attacked for *not* being 'fun' enough or 'social' enuf or 'sensitive' for having feelings)#enough*#i just want to go eat drywall and stand in the rain and let it help me pretend im not crying blood rn.#like every cell in my body isn't trying to spontaneously combust.#'it gets better' ..yeah? when. when i was 14? when i was 23? when im 37? when im 55? 82? WHEN.. bc im so sick and tired#and no this isn't me writing a final note or whatever it sounds like; i just wanted to word vomit bc ive never been good w sadness#and ive got such an overwhelming amount of it rn i can't even turn it into anger & spite & use that for productivity... i just want to rot#to lie down and be covered by plants as i sleep and just slowly fade into a cloud or smth like it's a ghibli movie or wtv.#im like shaking from how stupidly emotional i feel rn. the lack of empathy these days is fuckin astounding#common sense & empathy are lacking in absolutely droves these days. some days i hate the internet & tech for its irreparable damages sm#but here we are and here it shall remain. long after us; and *long* after us ..... *sigh*#anyway ima go try to take a nap or smth. I'll see ya when i see ya. take care my lovelies#if u read all this i prob owe you a cookie lol
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