#anyway yeah i have a list of that for like 8 of the characters i wrote a month or two ago. it lives in my google docs rent free bc i was to | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

i-care-bout-things-too · 7 months

Text

Batfam Ages:

Okay, there is no such thing as an exact science when determining the ages of the Batfam, but the easiest thing you can do is work of the concrete ages that you /do/ know, and make them fit with canon events to the best of your ability. Now, canon changes all the time—which definitely makes this a challenge, but I’m going to just explain my process for determining their ages and you can disagree if you’d like, or you can use this to write fic like I do where ages are semi important,

Let’s begin. I’m going to give you the arbitrary number of 15, this will be important later.

Dick Grayson:

Depending on the canon, Dick is 8, 10, 12, or 15 when his parents die. All of these numbers will have problems depending on which you pick, but I go for the safe bet of 10 years old. Why? Well, a little known fact is that Dick ends up in juvie after his parents die, and he’s not immediately taken in by Batman. Thus, it takes a little while longer for him to become Robin, which doesn’t immediately happen after he becomes Bruce’s ward anyway, because Batman doesn’t immediately go and spill the beans. Thus, Dick ends up in Bruce’s car at around ten or eleven, but doesn’t become Robin until he’s 12.

Now Dick is Robin up until he’s about 18, when Bruce takes Robin from Dick because it’s too dangerous and Dick refuses to quit. Dick joins up with the teen titans full time, and he’s still Robin for a little while longer until we get Nightwing, aka Discowing, for the very first time at age 19. Simultaneously, while this is happening, a little kid is stealing the Batmobile’s tires.

Jason Todd:

Our beloved street rat Robin, Jason Todd, swings a tire iron at Batman and then gets taken out for fast food. It’s great, it’s cute, it doesn’t immediately lead to his adoption though, either. No, instead Jason ends up in an orphanage that is trafficking children. Bruce shows up one day to check up on Jason, and is made aware of this by his soon to be first adopted son (yeah, you heard me, Dick isn’t adopted yet). They take down the trafficking ring, and Bruce adopts Jason. Jason then becomes Robin at age 13.

Unfortunately for our boy, he was widely disliked by comic fans across North America, DC did a little telephone poll, and by a few hundred votes, DC changed comic history forever by killing off a high profile character what seems like /permanently/ for the first time ever. No resurrections this time. (Hah, right!). Which is to say, Jason Todd has the second shortest run as Robin at just two years, dying at age 15.

Tim Drake:

So then we get Robin numero 3. Tim Drake sees Batman getting darker and more violent and goes y’know, someone should do something about that. He tries talking to Nightwing, but he’s in a bad place with Bruce after learning Jason died via a Newspaper (yeah, Bruce sucks for that one), and tells Tim he won’t be going back to Robin. Thus, lil Timmy Drake gets an idea in his head. He looks himself in the mirror and goes, I can fix him, and then, Tim Drake becomes Robin at age 12.

Tim Drake has one of the longest runs as Robin, with only a mild interruption from a lil blond Bat.

Stephanie Brown:

Stephanie Brown starts off as the vigilante Spoiler, whose whole purpose in life is to spoil the plans of her C-list villain dad, Cluemaster. She meets Robin (Tim), hits him in the face with a brick, and then ends up dating him. Unlike most characters who appear a few times and never come back, Stephanie manages to stick around. She gets pregnant at age 15 (it’s not Tim’s, and no she did not cheat, this happened priorly), she gives birth, the baby is put up for adoption, and she becomes Robin after Tim’s dad, Jack Drake, finds out Tim is Robin and bans him from it. Tim is forced to quit and Stephanie picks up the mantle. She’s clocks in the shortest run as Robin, working with Batman for about two months before Bruce forces her to stop. Tim picks up the mantle again, and Steph goes back to being Spoiler—only to get killed by Black Mask, making her the second “Robin” to die. DC does retcon her death, and we later learn she was only badly beaten and sent off to live in a foreign country before she makes her return.

Jason Todd, Again:

While all this is going on, stuff is happening behind the scenes. Namely, Jason coming back to life. A common misconception here however is how long Jason was actually dead. While I wouldn’t be able to find the panels to confirm it, the true number is a “short” 6 months. Yep, while years passed in the real world, possibly decades, actually, Jason was dead all of 6 months. According to the books, he undigs himself from his grave six feet under (because Superboy punched through the multiverse or something?) and ends up wondering around Gotham as a mindless little zombie. Conveniently, Talia al Ghul stumbles upon her beloved’s lost little bird, and she decides to take him home and train him. He’s with them for a bit, gets dunked into a Lazarus pit, comes back very very angry, is shipped off to the all caste for a bit, and upon his return to the al Ghuls, is informed he’s been replaced by little Timmy Drake.

Jason makes his whole plan, and decides to make a splash by returning to Gotham wearing an old moniker of the Joker’s and taking over Gotham’s underworld. He beheads a few criminals, tries to kill Tim, tries to get Bruce to kill the Joker, and doesn’t really have success in those latter two objectives. That puts Jason at age 19, roughly. We don’t really know how to count the months he was dead.

Damian Wayne:

Shortly after Jason’s unmasking as the Red Hood, Damian Wayne turns 10 years old and beats his mother, Talia al Ghul, in combat. His prize is to be taken to his father and given to him for training. We know definitively that Damian is 10 thanks to this we can measure out the age gaps between the others and get their ages at this point in time. Dick at age 19 became Nightwing, while Jason is made Robin at age 13, so they have a six year age gap. Jason dying 2 years later at age 15 leads to Tim becoming Robin at age 12, they have a 3 year age gap. Tim is Robin for 3 years before Jason comes back and Damian trails after him a few months behind, putting Tim at around 16/17 while Damian is 10. I tend towards 16 instead of 17 because DC stopped aging Tim for a while, so it just makes more sense to pick the lower number. Thus, when Damian is 10, Tim is 16 as is Steph, Jason is 19, and Dick is 25.

Thanks to Damian being quite young, DC has kept an active track of how and when they age him. We know Damian is only with Bruce a few short months before he disappears into the time stream and Dick makes him Robin, and we also know that Damian’s 11th birthday is celebrated after Bruce is reinstated to the proper time. However, DC follows this up by killing Damian and making him the third Robin to die, the second to do so in the suit itself, and he’s dead for a significant number of months. In this time, Dick also dies—as in his heart is stopped by Lex Luthor for a few seconds, and then restarted, after his identity is revealed on live TV. Bruce decides to let the world believe Nightwing died and stayed dead, and Dick is sent off to Spyral to do secret spy stuff for Bruce. There is an issue around here in the “Grayson” run that claims Dick is twenty-one years old, which is ENTIRELY incompatible with the time line I just painstakingly established, and I go ahead and outright dismiss it because it clearly doesn’t work with a majority of canon. While Dick is with Spyral, Damian is brought back to life, and he goes on a year of redemption (which doesn’t actually last a whole year, but I digress). He and Dick meet again, and we move into Rebirth somewhere around here with the conclusion of Spyral and Batman and Robin Eternal.

General Events:

Damian turns 12 presumably sometime during rebirth, although not specified, I do believe Truth and Justice issue #6 to be his 12th or 13th birthday, but I lean towards 12 because of the costumes everyone wears in the issue. Steph is spoiler, Cass is Orphan, Tim is Red Robin, Red Hood has yet to don his solo Outlaw uniform, and Barbara is Batgirl.

I can’t name a specific issue for Damian’s 13th birthday, but it’s canonical that Damian turned 14 in his solo Robin series, Robin (2021) while he was off finding himself before the Lazarus Tournament, and since then, there’s been the Shadow War, Batman Vs Robin, Dark Crisis event somewhere around there, the Lazarus Planet event, Gotham War, DC Knight Terrors, and Beast World event, which catches us up to the modern day world.

Since Damian hasn’t yet turned 15 despite ALL of that going on, and is still for now at least, 14, that means Tim and Steph are 20, Jason is 23, and Dick is 29.

I know I mentioned Cass and Babs, and I would love to give you a proper age for them but I don’t know where to place them in DC canon like I do the others, however people do commonly place Cass roughly around the same age as Jason making her 22 or 23, and Babs tends towards being 6-8 years older than Dick, although that is an age gap DC has been slowly bridging over the years. Still, I put her at 35 years old. I don’t have a reference for Duke Thomas either, but he’s commonly placed as being two years younger than Tim making him 18 currently.

Lastly, I bring back the arbitrary number of 15, given that that is the number of years that separate Dick and Damian, I also use that age gap between Dick and Bruce—meaning that Bruce took Dick in when he was 25, and placing Bruce at 44 years old in main continuity.

Overall Ages Currently:

Bruce Wayne: 44

Barbara Gordon: 35

Dick Grayson: 29

Jason Todd: 23

Cassandra Cain: 22

Tim Drake: 20

Stephanie Brown: 20

Duke Thomas: 18

Damian Wayne: 14

239 notes · View notes

momolady · 9 months

Text

2023 Year End Stats

Not to be stereotypical or anything, but for me at least, 2023 was an odd year. I bled for 6 months straight, dealt with the worst pain I still can't comprehend, had a hysterectomy, moved in with my partner, got some cats, dealt with a lot of stress, watched the world burn. Yeah, it's been pretty good to outweigh the bad.

But anyways! I've done the math and put together a list of my stories that performed the best this year. At least in terms of notes anyways. I'm also going to share my stories that didn't perform as well and hope they get the love they deserve.

Anyways, let's get on with the count down. Forty total stories have published on Tumblr this year. Sixty-six were published on Patreon. Top monsters were orcs (7), Vampire (3), Fae, Minotaur, Romm Monster, Lich (all 2).

Top Ten Stories:

10. Kahann the Naga

This one would probably be in my top ten favorites to write of the year. This dark, twisted romance between a lonely, isolated girl shipwrecked on an island with the dangerous and sexy Kahann struck the dark romance itch I've been wanting to scratch.

9. Keir the Orc

Comfy farm romance that features annoyances to lvoers. What else could you want? Orcs are always fun to write, I feel I could do it with my eyes closed, but thankfully I don't wanna do that.

8. Atharo the Lich

The pink lich, this one had imagery in it I couldn't get out of my head. the visions of this pink lich still huant me and I wish I could conjur such sstrong imagery still.

7. Asier the Drider

A simple premise we cann understand. Getting packages and ordering online is probably yhe msot fun we can have without leaving our homes. But what if your neighbor was annoyed by this? And what if that neighbor was a drider?

6. Auberon the Room Monster

The enchanted library. i think I've written more about the romance and mystery of bookstores an libraries more than anything. But this story was special, with lots of worldbuilding wrapped like a blanket around these characters. The room this monster stays in is the library, and who doesn't wanna spend time with that guy?

5. Marek the Vampire

This murky, dark, and swampy tale is one of those that stays with me. The idea of a different sort of vampire, one in the bogs and wetlands of a strange peninsula that gets flooded every year haunts me. The image of him is one of my absolute favorite creations and I hope I get to visit this peninsula village again.

4. Placide the Paralangua

This story marks the beginning and growth of my Charcourt universe. Liek Hearthway Hollow it's a town filled to the brim with straneg creatures, only it's the Paralangua, alligator type monsters who throw a festival every year to celebrate their history and the continued growth of Charcourt. Is it a cult? Maybe. There's a new five part tale of this area up on Patreon now.

3. Ben the Werewolf

Enmies to lovers, I think most people get on board with this trope. This tale of Hearthway Hollow delves into the relationship between two high school enemies who reconnect after years and manage to put aside their competitivness to find one another. The lead in thisstory is also Rowan's little sister.

2. Leraye the Demon

Demons are always fun. My demon characters have ways of weaving themselves in and out of the world we know, sometimes as proper members of society, often not. Leraye is one of those that visits our world as a full time member, seeing out the comforts of a Chinese bakery whose owners are a family with ties into the reality he avoids.

Florenz the Vampire Bat

This would for sure also be on my favorites of the year. This dark story wove together elements of fantasy, horror, and romance that I love to death. The lead is sophisticated and dashing, the lead is adventurous and excitable. The chemistry between the leads while writing this tale was so good.

The Ten Least Appreciated Stories

10. Juniper the Tiefling

I am deeply disappointed this didn't do as well as I expected. This story was based on characters me and my bff made for a one shot DND session. So this story was more personal to me than others. but more than that, I feel it had some of my best banter!

9. Rocco the Guard

Another personal tale based on ideas me and my friend came up with during a visit where we watched the Owl House together. I also greatly enjoyed the leading lady who was smart, spunky, and chaotic in the absolute best ways.

8. Ozzie the Werewolf & Tryfon the Naiad

It has a trans lead, it has polyamory, it was set in hearthway Hollow! I thought this story was serving up gold on a platter. But maybe people weren't in the mood for gold. The comedy in this is top notch, at least I thought.

7. Laertes the Fae

Another story where the dialogue I feel sparkles and pops with every interaction the characters had. This did only recently come out, so maybe it'll grow after this.

6. Ransom the Shapeshifter

Another personal story based around lore me and my bff created for our Stardew Valley characters. It also featured a nonbinary lead and monster, I thought people would be excited for this. I loved playing with the avant-garde sci-fi aspect and being a little weird. But maybe that's why people didn't like it too much lol

5. The Leshy

Another story that would be in my top ten for my personal favorites to write. I loved the complexity of the leading lady and crafting her has made her a personal favorite. The characters and world of this story will be one that stays with my thoughts as I think about the cozy, dark streets anfdthe moss covered steps of the buildings.

4. Jaqueline the Dullahan

This story has it all! Chocolate, Halloween, a sexy dullahan chef, and it's a lesbian romance. Maybe I don't have enough wlw readers but this story came from a ko-fi prompt I wrot and just grew into a full fledged story. I really enjoyed the atmosphere of this story and how it felt like a cozy fireplace with hot cocoa.

3. Beast the Symbiote

Beast is a character I have been wanting to get out into the world for years. She's such a complex villain character, and who doesn't love that. I feel like she is one of my coolest characters. Lucky Devil was also a character I had been dying to get out, she's been in my head since I watched Magi Madoka and she took form slowly over the years. She is in part based on me, and I want to do more with this lovely couple.

2. Fia the Selkie

I'm starting to see a pattern here. Male reader stories aren't ya'lls cup of tea? Too bad, I have some amazing male readers and commissioners I adore working for. Fia was this comforting warm blanket of a story. A struggling musician and the lovely Selkie he's come to be with. I really love this story, please check it out if you want some comfort.

1.Ria the Orc: an AU

I'm actually a wee bit pissed about this one. Another male reader, and Ria is a character I've come to absolutely love. This was written for a commissioner I've come to consider a friend, and writing for him has become an amazing experience. Ria and her beau have also become such real, loving characters in my head. This was an AU of the modern monsters Ria where she is in Obresh and participates in the Reaping. Who doesn't love Reaping stories? C'mon folks, give these ten stories the love they deserve!

Thank you all for an amazing year! Next year I will hopefully publish and you're going to see bigger and grander things from me, I owe that to all of you. Keep a look out for my Ozren novel hitting the shelf soon. Thank you so much and I hope I continue to write stories you love.

#top ten #year in review #2023 #monster romance #monster fuqqer #monster smut #orc #vampire #lich #fae #writblr #writing community #creative writing #personal

315 notes · View notes

asvterias · 3 months

Text

𝖢𝗁𝖺𝗉𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝟩: 𝖲𝖼𝗋𝖾𝗐 𝖸𝗈𝗎, 𝖵𝖾𝗋𝗒 𝖬𝗎𝖼𝗁

the cast // series masterlist

chap. 1 || chap. 2 || chap. 3 || chap. 4 || chap. 5 || chap. 6 || chap. 7 || chap. 8

‼️ DISCLAIMERS FOR THIS CHAPTER ‼️

#ScrewYouVeryMuch, #NoTalkAllTongue, #MuscularGirlsCanGetIt, #NoThoughtProcessJustWords!

Flirty!Reader, Clueless!Energetic!Reader x Pussyblocker!Adrianna x Annoyed!Clarisse, Reassuring!Sympathetic!Reader x Angry!Flustered!Clarisse, Kinda Player!Clarisse, Protective!Reader x Defensive!Clarisse, Iconic!Reader x Hidden!Impressed!Clarisse

Detailed Making Out Scene, Slight Intimate Wandering Hands, Slight Innocent Hand Touching, Clarisse is kinda a bitch to reader, Our Fav Couple First Fight 😔, Words can really REALLY hurt 😢

Bashing of Parents, Mentions of Dead Parents, Coping with Grief and Losses, Calling out on mindless behaviors, Future Gf who’s quick to call you out on your shit and still loves you regardless of the situation (Absolutely Reader), Both Reader and Clarisse are in the wrong in some way, A LOT Angst At The End

Italics Alone are Reader’s Thoughts

Bold Italics are Other Various Character’s POV

word count: 5.4k+

tag list: @starless-nightz @starvviss @lov3rgiiirl @random-girls-loves @coolgirl458 @kjisbae17 @s0r0ws @a-fucking-sappho @lvc-lv @watchesstuff

author’s note: anyways, i hope you liked this chapter! please don’t be a silent reader and interact within the chapter. uh oh 😕, reader’s and clarisse’s first fight, not going great for the future couple so far, let’s hope they’ll make up soon.

🌊 🐚 ✘ 🔥🗡️

CHAPTER 7, EPISODE TWO

“Unless you never had a first kiss.” You feign clueless, hiding back a smirk. “Oh my god, that’s so hilarious.” You laugh, wiping a single tear from your eye. Her fingers remain around your upper thighs, barely moving, too scared to overstep any boundaries you might have personally established.

“Shut up.” She seethes, gripping the clothed flesh around your thighs tightly. The La Rue girl ignored the fuzzy feeling in her chest, causing tiny goosebumps as your fingers lightly brushed against her bare skin.

“Oh yeah, Ms. Confident, why don’t you prove it then?” You challenged her, closing the gap between your faces. Just like that, the heat rushes back to Clarisse’s face, leaving her a stammering fool for you to witness and tease again.

A small whimper left her mouth, and although she tried to play it off, it was too late as you already heard it.

Why couldn’t she control herself around you? What made you so special that her heart was fluttering like never before? Is it bad if she doesn’t want this abnormal feeling to stop? This feeling is new and thrilling for her, and she wants you to continue whatever you do.

“Don’t tell me that you’re getting shy all of a sudden.” You tease her, a smirk adorning your lips.

All of a sudden she quickly regains her senses, shoving you to the ground as you scramble to make it back on your feet, and your confidence shimmers down immensely.

“What’s the matter, pretty girl?” She stalks closer to you as a predator does to its prey. The Ares girl chuckles, watching you back away.

You stumbled backward until your back hit against a rough surface, one of the many trees surrounding the camp.

“I’m not going to lie but seeing you stumble away makes me want to just pounce on you.”

“What are you, a damn cougar?”

“I could if you want me to be.” The demigod replied nonchalantly.

Keeping your eyes locked onto Clarisse’s, you noticed that her eyes were shifty and she was agile with her movements, keeping up with your pace. Soon enough, she stormed up closer and you flinched, turning your head sideways, avoiding it, missing the way, her face dropped at the sight of you scared of her.

“I’m not gonna hurt you, pretty girl.” She gently reassures, performing the triangle trick on you, “Wouldn’t want to scar you in any way, you’re too gorgeous for that.”

You seemed to miss the action of her eyes lingering on your face, especially your lips.

“Then, what do you want?” You questioned her.

Clarisse was being weird, one minute she was dedicated to kicking your ass, courtesy of your brother, and the next minute, she was being flirty with you.

Which one is it? Is she mad at you or flirting with you? Does she want to have a hot angry makeout session with you or not? Regardless of what her final decision is, she needs to confess it so you won’t be all desperate in anticipation.

To be honest, you were loving the attention, partially skeptical of the recipient but regardless, her flirty remarks made you swoon. You stared at the girl, waiting for an answer but her face remained neutral, restricting any sort of hint.

Her face hardened, still a glimpse of sincerity, tone indicating boldness. Clarisse wanted you to break first, “I want you.” The small smile crept upon her lips as she analyzed your body language.

Did you hear that correctly? Clarisse La Rue wanted you?! Don’t fall for it, Y/N– oh fuck it, you already did, eh, who’s it gonna hurt? Besides you got her exactly where you wanted, distracted and with all of her attention directed at you.

Suddenly butterflies in your stomach appear as you flutter your eyelashes at her. Your balance falters and your body heated up as your shocked gaze meets her fierce gaze. You gulped, avoiding her stare as you awkwardly rocked onto your feet.

Were you dreaming? You certainly have to be dreaming.

There was no way Clarisse wanted you, figuratively or literally, simply refusing to believe that possibility. This whole thing is weird. Clarisse is being extremely weird. Why would she want you anyway? You just met her, and she’s attracted to you already? There was something wrong, and you were determined to figure it out before it was too late, ending up with you hurt in the process.

“From the moment we met, I felt something for you, and I just didn’t know what it was. That was until Aphrodite’s daughter told me…”

You’re the first to call bullshit but decided to play along, wanting to see the outcome.

This piqued your curiosity even further, “What’d she tell you?”

“I don’t know, I refused to accept it.”

She has no absolute reason to lie to you.

“What do you–“ You were simultaneously confused and flustered, sufficing that you were so dangerously indecisive for your following words, “Well, you can’t have me.”

“Hmmm…..” She peers, closing the gap, your noses are now touching as you feel the warmth overtake your cheeks. You swore you saw her lips curl up into a knowing smirk as it disappeared just as it appeared. “And why’s that?” She inquired with an eyebrow raised, the jealousy bubbling beneath her veins, “You have a little boyfriend back home? Sorry to break it to you, doll, but you’re not returning back to the real world, not unless you were chosen for a quest.”

“Whatever.” You scoff, lightly shoving her and she cautiously stepped a few feet back. “My love life isn’t any of your business. You don’t see me asking you about your love life, now do you?”

She cockily smirks, tilting her head which makes your knees weak, “I wouldn’t mind it.”

All she heard was a wicked laugh erupt from you.

By your reaction, Clarisse’s frustration and annoyance replaced her confidence. “What’s so fucking funny?” Her eyebrows bunch up together in irritation, squinting her eyes at her.

“You…” Your laugh dies down, “When I arrived at this camp, I didn’t expect the big bad bully to be this flustered over me.”

“Get over yourself, water girl.” She groans, crossing her arms as she shakes her head in disbelief. “I don’t get flustered by anyone, especially over some random girl who just arrived at this camp in the span of two days.”

Yeah like, because she’s been extremely convincing so far. How truly delusional is she? Not that you’re one to judge, coming from another delusional girl. Come on, you’re self-aware, not hypocritical, and have some dignity.

You clicked your tongue, totally unconvinced by her, “Whatever helps you sleep at night, La Rue.”

If she was gonna lie to you, it wasn’t your problem anyway. She wasn’t your responsibility, she wasn’t your girlfriend…not yet anyway.

“A good sparring session helps me.” She managed to inform you of that.

“Oh, I can tell,”

“Wanna do a 1 on 1 sometime?”

“With you?”

“No shit Sherlock,” She bites back a smile, “Would you rather spar with somebody else?”

“No, no, no, if it’s with you I’m great,”

“Don’t expect me to go easy on you either, Matthews.”

“Why not?”

“C’mon, you singlehandedly took down a Minotaur, that was pretty badass if I do say so myself. You must have some skills in fighting, right?”

“I don’t!”

“You don’t?”

“Yes, I don’t,”

“So how’d you beat and mercilessly killed a freaking Minotaur?”

“With a sword and shit ton of adrenaline…perhaps a bit of vengeance too.”

“Yeah, okay, I guess that makes sense,”

“Done with the questions?”

“For now, Matthews,”

“Great,”

She rolls her eyes, getting back onto the current topic, “So do you?”

“Do I what?”

“Don’t act dumb right now, Matthews.” The curly-haired girl snapped, a scowl resting upon her lips.

“I’m not acting dumb, you didn’t give me enough context for me to understand.”

“Do you actually have a boyfriend back home?”

“Why are you so curious? I thought you don’t get flustered by anyone, especially me. What’s with the sudden switch up?”

“Okay,” She ignored your questions, knowing you wanted a reaction, “How about a girlfriend?”

“Still not any of your business.” You retorted back. Clarisse scoffed, folding her arms and glaring at you. Figuring out she was getting madder at the minute and it only urged you to further push her to the edge.

Are you wrong to think every emotion Clarisse expresses is kinda attractive, certainly excluding her sadness? Probably not, but you kept that to yourself.

“Would you stop being such a smartass, and just answer the question?”

Hmmm…no! Where’s the fun in that? Lead her on, stray away from the topic, and just do whatever to keep Clarisse on her toes. It’s definitely more entertaining than fighting with her.

“Enough about me, let’s talk about you.”

Clarisse became shell-shocked, “What!” She stared at you in disbelief, “This isn’t about me, this is about you. I wanna talk about you.”

“So you admit you care for me?” You grin slowly at her.

“Those words never left my lips.” The Ares girl was quick to defend herself, “Y’know what just forget it, it’s obvious you’re single.”

She began to saunter off, annoyed by your tactics, and proceeded with the camp game. You were quick to follow behind, still wanting to converse with the hot-tempered girl.

You didn’t expect Clarisse to be an amusing conversationalist, but she was, further entertaining your attention, and increasing your chances of winning Capture The Flag.

“C’mon ask me again, I promise I’ll be completely honest.”

A faint smile tugs at Clarisse’s lips and she stops any further movement, turning around to face you once again.

“Now let’s start our conversation again.”

“Of course,”

“Are you or are you not in a relationship?”

You shake your head at her question, this time being honest like you promised.

“I prefer words over gestures, pretty girl.”

“No,” You grumble, folding your arms, “I'm not dating anyone.”

“That’s more like it.” She hummed appreciatively.

“Is that all you have to sa–“

She grabbed the front of your shirt, balling it into her fist, any ounce of hesitancy soon hindering. With a swift tug, she crashed her lips onto yours, kissing you with the utmost passion you have ever experienced.

Too stunned to react, you reciprocated the kiss as your eyes fluttered closed, melting into it. The kiss became more ferocious as her hands moved downwards, pulling you by the waist closer.

Clarisse might be a cold, ruthless girl but her lips, and her kisses tell a different story. How could someone be so cold but her lips be so soft and alluring?

Your hands caress her face, gently rubbing on her smooth skin and her hands wrap around your waist as the kiss deepens. As her hands linger on your jeans, trailing slowly directly onto your hips, and settles her hands there, gently squeezing it.

“Is this okay?” She whispers breathlessly against your lips, disconnecting the kiss. Her eyes were hooded and her lips were already swollen as she stared at you.

“It’s fine…” You nodded.

“Good,” Was all she breathed out, maintaining her grip on your hips and her eyes locked onto yours. Her lips were magnetic, immediately finding her way back onto yours again, reconnecting the passionate makeout.

Squeezing the clothed-covered piece of flesh frequently, Clarisse’s calloused hands enjoyed the fabric as you inhaled and shuffled during the kiss. You both breathed in slowly, not slowing down the kiss but keeping it consistent.

Soon enough, the kiss started to become more intimate, hands wandering across the other with light touches grazing over the exposed skin. It was too much to handle, too hot to handle for either of you, but that was a stupid thought disappearing at the back of your mind as the makeout intensified, too engrossed with the warmth provided. Your lips pressed firmly against her lips, molding perfectly together, but the intense passion didn’t stop the makeout, it was the lack of air that was desperately needed.

Clarisse bites down on your lower lip, hard enough to draw blood, causing a small whimper to escape your mouth. The Ares girl grinned at the reaction, kneading her lips with yours, pressing harsher to produce more blood.

Pulling away from the kiss, you stared at her, “Promise me that you won’t bully my brother anymore.”

For a moment, it looked like Clarisse was desperate to feel your lips again, that hunger and pleading look in her eyes. It made your heart swoon and almost gave in to her needs, but you knew better. You weren’t gonna make it easy for her, she’d have to earn it.

“Yeah, whatever.” Clarisse easily agrees, shocking you to the core. For a girl who was defined as fiercely stubborn, her compliance caught you off guard.

“You’d actually listen to me?” You inquired.

“Yeah, as long as you promise to keep on kissing me.” She indulged, eyes still hooded and lips swollen.

“Pinky promise me.”

“What?”

“Pinky promise me that you won’t hurt my brother anymore.” You urged her to interlock her pinky finger with yours.

“Are you serious?”

“Deadass,” You blinked, wiggling your free pinky finger in her face, “Now pinky promise!” You whined at her reluctance.

The Ares girl sighs in amusement, a genuine smile overtaking her features as she interlocks her pinky with yours, sealing the simple promise she can try to maintain.

“Yay!” You grinned happily, keeping your fingers locked a little longer than usual before dropping her pinky from your grip.

“Is that all?” Clarisse quirked an eyebrow.

“Hmmm…for now, but of course!”

“You’re a piece of work, Matthews.” She chuckles.

“For your sake, that’d better be a compliment,”

“It definitely is, pretty girl. Now, can we resume our makeout?”

“That can be arranged.” You smirked at her, pulling her in for another kiss but froze at the sudden scream of someone.

“Just so you know this game is called Capture the Flag and not capture each other’s tongues. My eyes are officially scarred because of that.” Adrianna piques, surprising the two of you.

You stared over at your best friend, giddiness overtaking your features, “Oh hey, Adri, this is…” You gestured to the girl in front of you, “Clarisse…”

“We’ve met before.” Adrianna rolls her eyes. “Can’t say I have the energy to befriend a hot-tempered girl such as Clarisse.”

Clarisse distanced herself away from you as she turned to face Adrianna.

“Adrianna.” Clarisse disdains.

“Can you stop making out with my best friend? We have a game to continue.”

“What does it look like we were doing, blondie?” Clarisse snarks, irritated by the girl’s intrusion.

“Something my blessed eyes weren’t supposed to set sight upon,”

Clarisse scoffs, taking her spear out of your hand gently and storming off, to finish the game.

“Can’t believe that you’re so easily distracted,” Adrianna frowns, crossing her arms with a disapproving look, “That kiss might have meant something to you, but it’d probably meant something totally strategically with Clarisse. For all we know, she might have used you as a decoy for her plan.”

“Well, I am a very pretty decoy, thanks for the compliment,”

“That you are, but try not to get too carried away at the moment, especially with Clarisse.”

“Why’s that?”

“Haven’t you heard, Ares kids don’t do love at all, just because their dad had a fling for Aphrodite, they see no use for love and I don’t want you to get hurt,”

“Trust me, I can handle myself.” You reassure your best friend.

“I believe that, but I still worry for you,”

“What do you have against Clarisse?”

“It’s nothing, personal Y/N, our dads have bad blood between them, which is supposedly genetic. According to other Ares and Hephaestus children, they manage to get along well, just not me and Clarisse.”

“That’s just a bunch of bullshit.” You commented.

“My intuition tells me that she’s not done messing with you,”

Shit. Shit. Shit. Y/N, why are you such a dumbass? Of course, Clarisse didn’t actually like you, she just used you to her advantage and had some fun with it too. That’s it, you’re never falling for her traps ever again– no matter how alluring her lips are– snap out of it Y/N! She tricked you and she’s currently going after your brother to plummet him into an early grave!

Huh, that makes more sense.

“Oh no!” Your eyes widened in realization for your brother’s safety, “Percy, she’s going after Percy! We have to get to him before she does!”

Adrianna winces at your panicking state, “It might be too late for him, Clarisse is known to be pretty vengeful,”

“Not helping, Adri! I’m not being down one less brother! Already down two mothers, not losing any more family anytime soon! Let’s go!” You grabbed her wrist, tugging her along with you as you sprinted in the same direction Clarisse did.

Why does life just happen the way you hate?! Why couldn’t things work in your favor for once? And she promised you. Who breaks pinky promises?

Finally stumbling onto the scene, spotting an array of trees and an outlook of the lake. You spotted two girls lying on the ground, hopelessly defeated, as the aftermath of Percy’s and Clarisse’s fight settled down.

Witnessing Clarisse’s enraged face, looking down at her spear, crouching down on the ground. You gulped as she slowly came to the realization of her now broken spear. Her hands shakily held onto the bottom half of her spear as you anxiously waited for her next actions.

You heard a deafening scream break through the silence of the woods, escaping from Clarisse’s mouth.

Shit, that’s certainly not good!

The Ares girl quickly arose to her feet and stalked menacingly towards the blonde boy, ignoring his flinch. She gripped Percy’s breastplate and pulled him closer to her, glaring down at the boy in hatred.

“Clarisse!” You shouted, running up to the two.

She glanced at you, her eyes softening slightly and her terrifying grip on Percy loosened at your presence. Instantly, she switched back on her mean facade, bringing him closer to her, and scaring him even further.

Despite being a cold girl who fought for everything, you saw her for who she truly was…a sad girl, clinging to the validation from her father, who often despised that. You couldn’t really blame her either. Parents have a big reflection on their children’s lives, mostly shaping out to be a mirror-like version of them.

No wonder, she’s a glorified daughter of Ares himself.

She liked the fear that she held over other people. She liked being in control, knowing everything; including people’s fears so she could manipulate them to her advantage. It kept her balanced and calm from being a constant raging ruckus of a demigod teenager.

Walking up to them, standing between them and you looked at Clarisse. “Let him go,” You calmly commanded, your tone firm and assertive.

She huffed, contemplating whether to listen or not.

“I don’t like repeating myself at all. Let go of my brother and deal with me instead,”

Percy breathed out a sigh of relief, feeling her grip on him loosened and was no longer met with her flushed angered gaze.

“Thank your sister for saving your ass.” She shoves Percy away from her, causing him to fall to the ground. Adrianna helped him up off the ground, distancing him from the infuriated girl, waiting for your control of the situation.

Clarisse avoided your gaze, rendered speechless to say anything as you stared at the girl.

All of a sudden, campers came running and screaming in victory, gaining the four demigods’ attention. With Luke leading the victorious team, the red flag clasped in his hand and sticking the item in the dirt, reclaiming their win.

You grabbed the top half of her spear from Percy’s hand and hesitantly rested it in Clarisse’s palm. Gently you closed her hand, letting the broken weapon linger there as you held onto her hand, a form of reassurance.

You didn’t know what you were reassuring her about but you felt the need to be the one to reassure her. Not anyone else, just you, and just you alone. Pretty sure, Clarisse wouldn’t allow anyone else but you attempt to comfort her anyway.

You felt her shudder slightly under your movements, her breathing shaky as her mean facade broke down.

“I’m so sorry, Clarisse…”

Just like that, her mean facade instantly countered again, like a mask.

“Yeah, whatever, sorry isn’t going to fix my spear, now is it, Matthews?!” She shoved your comforting hand off of hers.

Oh, so she was pissed, pissed, pissed. This might also be extremely difficult to subside her raging fuel of fire for your brother at the moment.

“You’re right, it’s not,”

“I know I am,”

“But you can’t just blame my brother for all of this!” Stop while you’re ahead, Y/N. You’ll only make it worse for yourself and others. As a matter of fact, fuck it, can’t get any worse than it is. “You are at fault for some of this too!”

There we go, it’s all out in the open now, and there’s no way going back! God, you didn’t hope it’d come back to bite you in the ass.

“Blame him?! I’m not blaming him if it’s the truth. This is all his fault!” She protested, glimpsing at the young blonde boy, standing a few feet behind you.

Ohhhh, so she wants to play the blame game around here?! Checkmate, then, you got something for her ass, alright.

“For starters, you bullied my brother and attempted to shove his head in a toilet,” You stepped closer, pushing her back, jabbing her chest with your fingers as you continued to go off. “Let’s not forget that you planned an unsuspecting and unfair fight against him with your sisters! I admire the determination to defend yourself after embarrassment but still…! You can’t pin all the blame on Percy, take responsibility for your own fucking actions, Clarisse! Did you really think you were going to walk away unharmed?!” You exclaimed, “You’re many things, dangerously hot being one of them, but you’re not stupid, we both know that.”

She got up close, her nose flaring in anger, smacking your hand away from her chest, “Fuck you, Matthews! Just because we interacted twice doesn’t mean I like you, I barely tolerated you.”

They had to be lies. Yes, they certainly were lies. But were they actually just lies or was Clarisse just holding back the truth from you?

You didn’t know why you felt your heart clench in sadness at her statement or why your stomach churned in uneasiness.

“Then why’d you kiss me like that?”

God, you hoped that didn’t sound pathetic or embarrassing.

She blankly stared at you, “Oh, please, you think that kiss meant something to me then you must be extremely delusional. For me, it was strictly strategic for my team to win.”

Although she was acting entirely different during your makeout sessions, purely dominating it, and now it’s official that it was all decoy, probably pretending to enjoy that too.

You didn’t know what to believe anymore. Whether she liked you or pretended to like you for her benefit. Either way, you know one thing. You weren’t going to fall for her tricks anymore, no matter how convincing they were.

“And yet you still lost, what did you truly win? Cause I can guarantee, it wasn’t Capture The Flag that you won!”

“Come off it, Matthews, it’s not like you didn’t have a plan of your own and we both got what we wanted out of it. So stop taking everything to heart and move on. I don’t like you and probably never will.”

“Fuck you too, La Rue! It’s not my fault you won’t admit you’re also wrong in this situation.” You yelled, fury overwhelming your mind, “Besides, it’s not like I claimed that I had a crush on you, so you need to get the fuck off your high horse and stop blocking or pushing down your emotions because it’s only gonna hurt yourself in the long run. I’d hate for you to feel it when it’s too late. Still, I hope when you feel it, you should feel it, hard, like your whole world is collapsing and there’s nobody to support you.”

She swung her spear head lunging at you, missing barely by your quick instinct to dodge the incoming hit. Still, she managed to scrape across your lower arm, wincing slightly at the forming gash.

“Why didn’t you dodge my spear?!” She furiously asked, glancing at the injury she caused. “Why did you just stand there? Did you want to get hurt?”

“Because I didn’t expect you to use your spear against me?!”

“Whatever,” She rolled her eyes, venturing forward, observing your bleeding wound, “Is it bad? How deep is it? Go get it checked out at the infirmary.”

You pushed her away from you, “What’s wrong with your emotions? This is exactly what I’m talking about! One minute, you’re furious with me then you’re so concerned about a stupid gash that you caused?! Get your emotions in check, La Rue!”

“Shut up,” She murmurs, avoiding eye contact, “Feelings are very confusing.”

“Trust me, I know,”

“Stay off my ass for one second, can you?!”

“No, I don’t think I will! Did you really hurt me just because I’m being honest with you?! Real classic, La Rue, always ready to fight and avoid confrontations. Is it a genetic thing, a trait you inherited from your father?”

“You don’t know anything about my father!” She snarled.

Looks like you hit a fatal nerve within her, and instantly regretted it, swallowing down your guilt, “Fuck, Clarisse, I didn’t mean that–“

“But you did mean that! At least, my father has the decency to claim me! You’re just a lousy nobody with a lying little brother, so stop bitching to your friends about being a demigod and get used to it! It’s your life now and it’s Percy’s life now. What just happened with Percy, was only a preview, to show you for the real world because those monsters are ruthless and bloodthirsty. If you aren’t careful, you’ll die out there, just like your moms did, all weak and alone, all because they were humans.”

She scoffed, brushing past your shoulders harshly and storming off, probably back to her cabin for some privacy.

How did she know about your moms’ deaths? You didn’t tell her, and she doesn’t seem to be the observant type.

Percy saunters over to you. “Are you okay?” You held back tears, staring at your younger brother.

“Of course, I’m okay, but are you okay?” You clicked your tongue at his question. For once, you couldn’t give him an honest reply.

“I’m always okay, why would you ask that?” You shrugged off, struggling to keep the tears from falling.

“What happened in the woods with Clarisse?” Percy pressed on, “Did you give up your first kiss to Clarisse?”

“It doesn’t matter anyway!” You snapped, “She doesn’t matter!”

Well…that was a fucking lie!

Yet, in the back of your mind, you hated how she still did matter to you, even though she completely disrespected your moms’ deaths. God, you hated feelings but loathed your feelings regarding a certain La Rue girl. Why couldn’t your dating life just be simple for once? Why did it have to come crashing down before it even started?

Why did you say what you said? Why did Clarisse respond the way she did? Everything was so confusing and annoying to you at the moment, overwhelming you with a whirlwind of emotions.

Forget about Clarisse La Rue, you can always find someone else. She’s not the only girl in the world. But that’s the problem….you don’t want any other girl. Why is liking Clarisse La Rue so goddamn hard?! Whatever, it’s clear she doesn’t like you, so accept the rejection and move forward, that’s all you can do at this point.

“Not bad, heroes.” A familiar voice rang out.

“Bad timing, Annabeth.” You rubbed your temples as Adrianna gave you a comforting hand.

Annabeth appears from her invisibility cloak, lifting the cap above her head, and stalking closer.

Percy breathes out, “Were you here the whole time?”

She looked bored, coming closer, “Yes?”

“You were here the whole time and you didn’t help me? Before Y/N came to my rescue, you couldn’t help me?!”

“Yes.” She replied monotonously.

“Why?”

“Listen…Percy…” She seems sorrowful for a second but it quickly diminishes. “I’m sorry, both of you.” She was apologetic, yet determined to follow through with her plan.

Eyebrows furrowed together in confusion when Annabeth pushed you two by the chest with the uttermost amount of strength, sending you back into the lake.

The two siblings landed in the lake with a loud splash, immediately getting soaked.

“What is wrong with you?!” That gained everyone’s attention.

“Are you crazy, Annabeth? This is not how you apologize to people you just abandoned! A decent dessert would be nice for an apology treat, not a freaking soak in the lake!” You exclaimed, appalled for words, “We have got to work on your apologies later on!”

Drenched and weighed down by your clothes, you weakly stood up as Percy followed in pursuit. You turned to your brother in shock, rendered speechless as you watched the phenomenon unfold.

“What’s happening to your cut?” You questioned, gesturing to the disappearing cut from his left cheek.

He touched his cut cheek, seemingly disappearing as it did on his arms.

“More like what’s happening to that deep gash on your arm,”

You looked down at the gash on your arm that Clarisse gave you, watching it fade away in nothing like the wound never existed.

“I don’t understand.” You whispered, glancing at Annabeth.

The young girl stared at the two siblings, more like something above your head. Tilting your head upward, you gasped in astonishment at the glowing turquoise trident, lingering above you and Percy’s heads.

“Your dad’s calling.” She smirks.

“You two have been claimed by Poseidon, Earthshaker, Stormbringer, Y/N Matthews, and Percy Jackson, children of Poseidon,”

Huh, guess you were right about being forbidden children, kinda regretting saying that now. Damn it, you hate it when you prove yourself right!

“Oh, fuck me.” You groaned. If single-handedly killing a Minotaur didn’t give you enough attention, then being a forbidden child of Poseidon would definitely bring all unwanted attention, especially from bloodthirsty monsters.

Why couldn’t you be normal? Why couldn’t your life just be normal and boring? Why did your dad have to be a powerful god? Why did your mom meet your dad and willingly sleep with him? More importantly, why were you born a half-blood forbidden kid?

likes, comments, and reblogs are highly appreciated!

#her pretty girl series #clarisse la rue series #dior goodjohn #dior goodjohn x reader #clarisse la rue #clarisse la rue x reader #clarisse la rue x fem!reader #clarisse la rue x black!reader #clarisse la rue x black!fem!reader #daughter of poseidon

108 notes · View notes

666writingcafe · 29 days

Text

666WritingCafe's Fall 2024 Menu (NSFW)

I was looking through the stuff I had saved in my drafts, found two prompt lists by the users listed below, and decided to try something new(ish).

So, you know how a lot of retail stores usually have most (if not all) of their fall/Halloween items by the end of August? It may not be out on the floor yet, but it's certainly sitting in the back, waiting to get stocked. Anyway, similar concept here: consider this the start of Smutober/Kinktober on my side of Tumblr.com.

The "Premade" prompts have characters linked to them already. Singles have one character, and entrees have two or three. Prompts considered "Create-Your-Own-Meals" do not have characters attached to them (as of yet).

"Orders" can be made via requests. You can add "sides" (IE: specific kinks) to your "order".

Hopefully I can also resume the Obey Me rewrites soon and have this in conjunction to that, but we'll see what happens with work and life in general.

Without further ado, the "menu" is listed below the cut.

Prompts from @writinginstardust and @dumplingsjinson

Premade Singles (Part One)

“Come over here and make me.” Barbatos Order #1 (8/27/24)

“Wait a minute. Are you jealous?” Thirteen

“I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice.” Satan

“I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.” Lucifer

“You heard me. Take. It. Off.” Solomon

“You fainted…straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention you didn’t have to go to such extremes.” Belphie

"You were put on this earth to give me a headache." Mammon

“There is no way this much stupid can fit inside one person.” Asmo

“Uh, am I interrupting?” Diavolo

“Don’t be shy now; sit on my face.” Simeon

“If I ask you to kiss me in front of all these people, will you do it?” Levi

“I've never wanted to fuck someone as badly as i want to fuck you right now.” Beel

“I'm going to fuck you until you forget that asshole's name.” Mephistopheles

~~~

Premade Singles (Part Two)

“If you keep looking at me like that we won’t make it to a bed.” Satan

“Did I stutter?” Thirteen

“Stop being a fucking prick.” Barbatos

“I’m not wearing any underwear. Thought you’d like to know.” Mammon

“You sent me pictures of you naked while I was in a work meeting!” Solomon

“I want to taste you.” Simeon

“If we weren’t in public right now, I’d have my head between your legs.” Diavolo

“Don’t cover your face; I want to see you.” Belphie

“Bend over the desk, love.” Mephistopheles

“I’ve never seen anyone look so cute and ridiculous at the same time.” Levi

“Do you think of me when you touch yourself?” Beel

“Touch yourself for me.” Asmo

“Do you want to see what I'm wearing underneath all this?" Lucifer

~~~

Premade Singles (Part Three)

“Do you know how beautiful you are? It’s truly distracting.” Lucifer

“Could he make you feel as good as I do?” Simeon

“Are you trying to turn me on, or are you really just that oblivious?” Barbatos

“I haven’t even touched you and you’re already this wet.” Satan

“Were you just masturbating?” “U-uh..no, I was just..” “Want some help?” Solomon

“I’m not sharing you with anybody. You’re mine, and mine only, and I’m going to make you remember that.” Diavolo

“That’s sweet and all but do they touch you the way I touch you? Fuck you the way I fuck you? Mm, yeah, didn’t think so.” Belphie

“Gonna fuck you until the only word you remember is my name.” Asmo

“Wanna see how you look when you come undone under me.” Thirteen

“I want you in all the ways you’ll let me have you.” Mephistopheles

“Oh, I can think of many ways to shut you up right now.” Beel

“Where do you want me to touch you?” “I don’t know and I don’t care — I just want your hands on me. Please.” Mammon

“So… You touch yourself to the thought of me? I’d like to see that in action.” Levi

~~~

Premade Entrees (Part One)

“Now, why don’t we teach you a lesson?” Thirteen and Beel

“I wanna taste you on my lips again.” Satan and Solomon

“Rough or gentle?” Mammon and Simeon

“You’re really messing with my head here.” Levi and Lucifer

“Fuck, just touch me already! Just— just do something!” “Not so fast. We’ve still got the whole night/day ahead of us.” Barbatos and Asmo

“Clothes on or clothes off?” Diavolo, Mephistopheles, and Belphie

~~~

Premade Entrees (Part Two)

“How about we put that pretty mouth of yours into good use, hm?” Mephistopheles and Belphie

“Aren’t you desperate?” Lucifer and Thirteen

“Patience, love. We’re getting there.” Solomon and Levi

“Look at your reflection. Look at h/ow gorgeous you are. So fucking gorgeous when we're fucking you like this." "So pretty for us, and only for us.” Beel and Satan Order #3 (9/4/2024)

"You want to come?” “Y-yes, I— please—” “Hm, but do you really deserve to?” Diavolo and Asmo

“You like that, don’t you?” Mammon, Simeon, and Barbatos

~~~

Premade Entrees (Part Three)

“Let’s make your thoughts a reality, yeah?” Mephistopheles and Solomon

“Imagine how amazing you’d sound when we're fucking you senseless.” Thirteen and Diavolo

“We’ll fuck you so good, I promise.” Belphie and Asmo

“You’ve got us all hot and bothered.” Levi and Mammon

“Always so needy for us, aren’t you? Can’t help yourself, can you?” Beel and Lucifer

“Behave.” Simeon, Barbatos, and Satan

~~~

Create-Your-Own-Meal

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

“Stop fucking teasing me/us and get to it already.” Order #2 (8/28/2024)

“Oh, the things I’d do to you if we were alone right now…”

“Th-There are people outside this door—” “Well, this isn’t about them, is it?”

“Look at you, squirming under me, all flushed and pretty looking. Can’t even take a little teasing, can you?”

“Yeah, but they don’t fuck you the way you deserved to be fucked, do they?”

“Might I remind you that these walls aren’t sound proof.”

“Need me to remind you on what happened last night?”

“Oh, sensitive there, aren’t we?”

“But you think about me when they’re fucking you, don’t you?” “I… That’s not true.”

“Lift your hips up for me.”

“Fuck, you’re so hot when you’re bossy.”

“Look at you, coming undone before I’ve even started touching you.”

“Stop glaring at me like you don’t enjoy me teasing you.”

“I want to be the one fucking you this time.”

“Sweetheart, you’re so responsive to my touch.”

“And I think you’d look fucking hot when you’re on top of me.”

“Just sit on my fucking face already.”

“S-Stop leaving marks on my neck. I have a presentation first thing in the morning.” “Then I get to leave marks anywhere below the neck?”

“You only get to watch.” “B-but—” “No buts, sweetheart.”

“I’d fuck you right here, right now, if I could.”

“Turn around.”

“Eyes on me at all times, sweetheart.”

“I wanna eat you out so fucking bad.” “Then why don’t you?”

“Spread your legs for me.” … “Spread them wider.”

“I’ll be honest: I get off to the thought of you.”

“I want you in the most sinful ways possible.”

“Aww, how eager can you get?”

“I want you to touch me like I’m the only thing you could ever want.”

“You like messing with my head, don’t you?” “Only because it clearly turns you on.” Order #4 (9/13/2024)

“Shit, I’m so fucking hooked on you it’s not even funny.”

“You’d sound so good begging for it.”

“Don’t make too many noises or we’ll get caught.” “That’s part of the thrill.”

“I don’t care, I just need these clothes off so I can fully feel you against me.”

~~~

Taglist: @lost-in-time-wanderer, @fuzztacular, @dianedancer18, @sweetbrier2908, @flare-love, @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf, @thunderlightning351, @l3v1chan, @anxious-chick, @5mary5, @expressionless-fr, @tenkobitch, @budbuddnbuddy

38 notes · View notes

acotarfrustrations · 9 months

Text

An ongoing list of ACOWAR grievances I'm keeping track of while I read (because there's too many to make a post about all of them) pt. 2

I'm on chapter 15 now and feeling the urge to complain again so here we go

1) the writing is way too overdramaticized. Like every other paragraph is some remixed version of feyre going "I wondered whether it would be eggs or bacon for breakfast. But when I looked at Rhys I realized that he was giving me my own choice. My mate, my high lord. In our home. With our family. Every thing was always my choice" and its CONSTANT, LIKE OH MY GOD GIRL SHUT UP

2) every thing about Lucien's plotlineand the elain mating thing. I HATE this subplot with a PASSION

3) feyre immediately fucking rhys when she got back instead of going to see her sisters

4) feyre and rhysand acting like they've ben separated for forty centuries instead of a month

5) the contradictions about how the high lord thing works. Like it was established that its a government position given to you through basically fate and being chosen by the cauldron or whatever which is why siblings kill each other for a chance for the throne and yet they just went to a priestess and swore feyre in as high lady?? It makes her title not feel real like it's purely ceremonial. It doesn't even make sense that she would be able to be HL of the night court as she has no more ties to that court than she does any other court. Is it because she's mated to Rhys? I don't understand the HL lord at all, it just keeps changing

6) the fact that Feyre, Rhys, and Cassian tell Lucien about their tragic backstories and everything that's happened to feyre at the NC and he just immediately does a Feyre™️. Like he's suddenly "Oh yeah you had a horrible childhood and took feyre into your found family without letting her explore relationships outside of the IC, that totally makes up for all the evil shit THAT IVE SEEN YOU DO WITH MY OWN 2 EYES. wow i cant believe youre not evil even though you killed 50 winter court children and sexually assaulted your mate and mind raped her constantly to get her to like you"

7) the way they're treating Nesta. It has been a MONTH since she was stolen from her home, brought amongst a race that she is terrified of and THAT ENSLAVED HER PEOPLE, and was forcefully turned into ONE OF THEM and the IC is acting like she's being unreasonable for not wanting to talk to them or to mate with Cassian. WHY THE HELL WOULD SHE EVEN BE THINKING ABOUT CASSIAN RIGHT NOW?? WHY THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO FEEL BAD FOR HIM? Instead of him worrying about how his mate is doing regardless of his own comfort he's like WOE IS ME, SHE DOESNT WANT TO FUCK ME?????? GET OVER IT ASSHOLE?? WHY IS FEYRE EVEN LETTING CASSIAN COME NEAR HER AND ANTAGONIZE HER?? DOESNT SHE LOVE TO FLAUNT HER HL STATUS AROUND?? THIS IS THE TIME TO USE IT, PROTECT YOUR GODDAMN SISTER FROM HIM? ITS SO OBVIOUS THAT SHE DOESNT GIVE NEARLY AS MUCH OF A SHIT ABOUT NESTA AS SHE DOES ELAIN!!

8) the fact that sjm didn't keep cassian's wings shredded. Him learning to live with that would have been a badass character development but now sjm doesn't want me to have good things

9) the mating bond in general. I think it could be a potentially good plot device but no one ever employs it well and sjm is definitely the most egregious with it

10) the fact that the ic never gave consequences for their fucking actions. Feyre dies in acotar? Turn her into a fey and give her ALL of their powers. Stealing a precious artifact that they didn't even end up needing and getting a bounty on their head in the summer court and then getting that court invaded? That's fine because feyre is SOOO brave and says things that are common fucking sense which makes her SOOOO smart so we obviously need her as an ally so we'll just rescind the blood rubies. Getting the spring court sacked? That's fine we didn't like them anyway. Rhys and feyre's bond gets snapped? Well they didn't know about our super secret mating bond that is actually the only thing that gives our characters chemistry so we still like each other. Rhys causes irreparable damage to every court for 50 years and kills 50 kids? Well that's fine he was being held hostage and hey! We don't know he actually killed those kids 😡 Feyre, a 20 year old girl who's been fae for like 6 months and training for even less goes up against thousands of years old beings? She beats them effortlesslessly! Rhys gets sexually assaulted for 50 years! Well he planned all of it so it has no negative consequences on him. Cassian gets his wings shredded? Well he worked really hard and they're fixed now 🥰. Rhys FUCKING DIES?? Well that's no problem, tamlin can just resurrect him, nvm the fact that there's no reason why he WOULD. like no harrowing situation is ever interesting cause we all know sjm isn't actually going to do anything to the ic

11) "my mate" STOP SAYING IT PLS IM BEGGING

12) "males and females" STOP SAYING IT PLS IM BEGGING pt. 2

#anti acowar #anti sjm #anti acotar #anti rhysand #anti feysand #anti sarah j maas #anti ic #anti acomaf #anti inner circle

115 notes · View notes

maddogofshimano · 2 months

Text

1,000 Follower Translation Giveaway!

look at that!!!!

in celebration I'll do the traditional giveaway (that I have failed to do since I hit 600, which is way longer than I thought it had been) and we'll use the same rules as normal; this runs for a week until 8/2/2024, a like gets you an entry and a reblog gets you an entry for a total of 2 entries if you do both! and the winner gets to pick what I translate next :)

and since it's such a big milestone, we'll have TWO winners!!

I compiled a master list of ALL of the available events and character stories. it took forever. if you win and want a quick summary of one before committing to them I’m perfectly happy to provide that

anyways anything in green I have already translated and posted, anything in yellow I have at least read or have partially translated, and everything else is probably entirely untouched

so yeah! thank you everyone for your support over the past three years and here's to many more translations

#rggo #ryu ga gotoku online #ryu ga gotoku #yakuza #not translation #like a dragon #yakuza online #rgg

45 notes · View notes

baoshan-sanren · 1 year

Text

best cdramas I’ve watched since the last one of these posts in 2023 (and some I’m still looking forward to seeing)

A League of Nobleman (watch on WeTV VIP | watch on AppleTV | watch on Viki | watch on bilibili | watch on YouTube) Adapted from the novel "The Mystery of Zhang Guo" (张公案) by Da Feng Gua Guo (大风刮过) starring Jing BoRan, Song WeiLong, Hong Yao, Guo Cheng and Wang Duo. Definitely gay, but in like a very focused, we-have-a-mystery-to-solve way. Loved the acting and the plot; cannot believe people actually gave Song Weilong shit for his acting in this drama. He was aMAzing. The downside is that the editing grew progressively sloppier as the drama progressed, and although majority of the visuals were very satisfying, I never realized how crappy the quality of the light was until I tried gifing some of the scenes. The upside is Jing BoRan holding kittens. Enough Said. 7/10

The Blood of Youth (watch on Viki | watch on YouTube) Adapted from the novel "Shao Nian Ge Xing" (少年歌行) by Zhou Mu Nan (周木楠) starring Li HongYi, Liu XueYi and Ao RuiPeng. Love this goddamn drama. I adopted the entire cast within the first 3 episodes and then I spent the next 37 terrified that half of them would get killed off. There’s def some major character death in this drama my chickens, so keep that in mind (and not a canonical death either, from what I understand). Anyway, this is my fave genre by far so I’m never really picky, but this drama is exhilarating and gorgeous from beginning to end. Highly recommend. 9/10

New Life Begins (watch on iQIYI | watch on Viki | watch on YouTube) Adapted from the web novel "Qing Chuan Ri Chang" (清穿日常) by Duo Mu Mu Duo (多木木多) starring Bai JingTing and Tian XiWei. Just sweet and fluffy. The plot is easy and devoid of complexities, but very satisfying nonetheless. The acting is definitely on another level. The entire cast has bonkers chemistry, and it’s about time someone made good use of Bai Jingting’s comedy potential. One of the top 5 easy viewing dramas on my rewatch list. 8/10

The Legendary Life of Queen Lau (watch on Viki | watch on YouTube) Adapted from the web novel "Huang Hou Liu Hei Pang" (皇后刘黑胖) by Ge Yang (戈鞅) starring Li JiaQi and Li HongYi. Loved this. Although it doesn’t shy away from difficult subjects, this is basically a comedy from beginning to end. Not gonna lie, I mainly gave this a go for Li Hongyi, but it’s hard to even notice him when Li Jiaqi is in the room. There’s no shame in being overshadowed by superior talent :) 7/10

(yeah, after all this, I rewatched Nirvana In Fire again)

Under the Microscope (watch on Apple TV | watch on Bilibili | watch on iQIYI VIP | watch on Viki) Adapted from the novel "Xian Wei Jing Xia De Da Ming" (显微镜下的大明) by Ma Bo Yong (马伯庸) starring Zhang RuoYun and Wang Yang. Continuously impressed by Zhang RuoYun’s skills. This drama is 90% grit and tension. Drool-worthy visuals. Interesting plot. Sound mixing that gives me a Mo Ran style boner. Make your friends watch it and they will hate you. 9/10

Till The End of The Moon (watch on YouTube | watch on Apple TV | watch on Viki) Adapted from the web novel "Hei Yue Guang Na Wen BE Ju Ben" (黑月光拿稳BE剧本) by Teng Luo Wei Zhi (藤萝为枝). Starring Luo Yunxi and Bai Lu. This was so breathtakingly gorgeous. The chemistry between the actors, the visuals, the special effects, the costumes, everything is stunning in this drama. The romance is by no means original, but still manages to draw you in. Absolutely worth watching at least once. 8/10

Still waiting on:

Immortality - based on danmei novel The Husky and His White Cat Shizun by 肉包不吃肉 starring Chen Feiyu and Luo Yunxi (you can think I’m a clown but you’d be wrong bc I’m a wholeass circus)

Winner Is King - based on the danmei novel Sha Po Lang by Priest starring Tan Jianci and Chen Zheyuan

Step By Step Lotus - based on historical novel Return to Ming Dynasty as Prince by 月关 starring Zhang Binbin and Luo Yunxi

Eternal Faith - based on danmei novel Heaven Official’s Blessing by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu starring Zhai Xiaowen and Zhang Linghe

Joy Of Life Season 2 - based on wuxia novel of the same name by 猫腻 starring Zhang Ruoyun and Li Qin

Story of Kunning Palace - based on the novel 坤宁 by 时镜 starring Bai Lu and Zhang LingHe

Flying Phoenix - based on danmei novel of the same name by 風弄 starring Dai Jingyao and Shu Yaxin

The Story of the Bat - based on danmei novel Bat by Feng Nong starring Mao Zijun and Zhang Yao

The Longest Promise - based on xianxia novel Zhu Yan by 沧月 starring Xiao Zhan, Ren Min, and Zhang Yunlong

Mysterious Lotus Casebook - based on wuxia novel 吉祥纹莲花楼 by Teng Ping 藤萍 starring Cheng Yi and Zeng ShunXi

Follow Your Heart - historical drama starring Song Yi and Luo Yunxi

The Thirteen-Hongs in Canton - historical drama starring Zhu Yawen and Yu Haoming

White Cat Legend - based on manhua of the same name starring Ding Yuxi and Zhou Qi

#cdrama #cdrama recs #long post #m

214 notes · View notes

canyoufucksoniccharacters · 6 months

Text

It's time.

Alright, this is gonna be a long one. Not only am I covering the canon, mainline game Sonic, but his offshoots as well. Specifically, I will be covering Sonic in the mainline games, the Paramount movie version, Sonic Prime, and a tiiiiiiny tiny little itty bit of Archie. IDW is, from what has been implied as of the past about year and a half, canon; and it will be treated as such (with some caution, of course.), so it's not going to be handled separately.

Let's do this.

Alright, let's start as early as absolutely possible. There have been several, several statements regarding Sonic's age; the earliest of which was courtesy of our good old friends over at...

There would be a certain (mildly loud) funny video here, but Tumblr's weird barely present copyright protection probably kicked in. Anyways...

In the Sonic The Hedgehog cartoon, also known as SatAM, we get 2 tidbits of information. In the 2-part special called Blast From The Past, we see that Sonic and Sally are about the same age, both being kids of just about equal maturity. Later, in episode 24, Sally states that her age is 16. So, far as we could tell, Sonic was 16, or around that range. Now, we know that these cartoons aren't canon, but they definitely did have an influence over the canon of the series. Fun fact for you, Sonic's love of chili dogs was made up by the cartoons, and later adopted during the modern era by the games. Ain't that neat?

Chili dog related tangent aside, this was the only source we had for Sonic's age at that point. I've seen some say that he was stated to be 15 in the manual for Sonic 2, but upon trying to verify that claim I came empty-handed. The manual does mention Tails being 8, but no mention of Sonic's age as far as I could tell; and the same goes for every other Classic Series game. Except for...

Sonic Jam, the Sonic game absolutely no one cares about! In part because it's not much more than a game compilation and tech demo that served as the stepping stone for Sonic Adventure 1. Sonic Jam includes profiles for Sonic, Tails, Knuckles and Eggman. This is in both the Japanese and English version, and both contain ages for the characters! Tails is listed as 8, Knuckles as 15, and Eggman as "??" or Unknown, in the case of the English version.

This brings us to Sonic, who I will be using the Japanese profile for.

The part that says "年令" translates to "Age". So, here it says that Sonic ranges between 15 and 16... Whatever that means. In the English version, it just says 15. Either way, all these make sense for these games. Sonic's characterization back in the day was all in on the rebellious teenager angle, an effort to give him an air of edge and coolness that other platforming mascots didn't have, which did admittedly win people over during the heat of the console wars! Sonic was absolutely huge when the series was new, to a degree that other mascots just couldn't match up to. Of course, that dropped off over time, but that's a discussion for another day, and not on this blog. This blog is about gay sex, not the videogame industry.

So, Sonic is either 15 or 16, most likely 15. All is good here, everything lines up, other than maybe the fact that Amy was listed as 8 in the Sonic CD manual, but that's probably fine considering back then her crush on Sonic was treated as a one-sided admirer type thing, rather than an actual romantic interest (That was usually reserved for Sally in media that actually cared about that kinda thing, anyways.)

So, fast forward to the Dreamcast; Sonic gets a redesign! Longer limbs, green eyes, and overall less chibi-like and seemingly more mature appearance. So, you would assume he's older, right? After all, him an everyone else around him got the same treatment, except for Eggman who... Seemingly just became a smidge more realistic. A smidge, anyways. You can only be so realistic being shaped like Gru.

Well... Yeah! It would look like it, since no further statements about his age were made, and in the Archie comics, they actually aged him up a year to justify his change in design. Archie isn't canon, obviously, but it shows the direction that was taken; as the players aged, so did Sonic, no matter how much people got up in arms about the green eyes for some strange reason.

... And then Sonic Heroes came along.

Perfectly fine game, mind you! One of the more polarizing ones, sure, and some of the writing could have been a smidge better (specially on Amy's side of things), but overall not really anything egregious. But for our sake... This hellspawn was born.

Ah, the Sonic Heroes US manual. The root cause of incredibly stupid Sonic shipping discourse; as well as the really, really inaccurate Sonic Channel ages.

All vitriol aside, let's look at what it has to say about our blue blur.

... 15? Really? When our previous estimate was also 15-16? Are you actually telling me Sonic 1 to Heroes all happened within less than a year? Amy got aged up from 8 to 12, which... Either age would be a bit concerning considering they're still pushing the whole romantic interest thing, one-sided as it may still be. That aside, it makes no logistical sense for Sonic to still be 15 after he's literally physically shown to be older.

On top of that, this same manual ages Espio down from 17 (In the Chaotix manual) to 16, and Vector up from 16 to 20. Vector I can believe, but uh. Aging down isn't exactly a thing that most people do.

What's worse, this age was then listed in the official Sonic Channel website... Even after they made a game where the first thing you see is Sonic celebrating his birthday. Meaning he had to have been 14 before that game to stay 15, which is contradictory to say the least. Additionally, there's a potential time gap of 5 months between SA2 and Heroes, only ever referenced in the Playstation 3 PSN release of Sonic Heroes.

This age was never once modified, even after Sonic Forces' 6 month timeskip, meaning Sonic had a birthday party, was locked up for 6 months, and somehow didn't age a year during all that. Nor after the several infrastructure-demolishing incidents such as an entire city being flooded and wrecked, the planet being shattered into pieces, among others.

And you wanna know something funny? In Sonic Generations, Classic Sonic is explicitly stated to be Sonic from the past, which checks out considering how he behaves less maturely and is proportionally much smaller. And then in 2015, the Classic Sonic style guide comes out.

15.

Somehow. Some. Fucking. How. Classic Sonic is listed as 15... While Modern Sonic is listed as 15 too. Oh, Amy is also listed as 12, by the way. Despite that being her (ALLEGED) age in Sonic Heroes.

Unless they're from different universes or something, there's no way-

OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE

Yeah, so, Sonic Forces released 2 years after that guide. And it tried, emphasis on tried, to retcon Classic Sonic into being an entirely separate character. This was, however, later undone by Sonic Origins both re-establishing the Classic games as taking place in the past, on top of a TailsTube episode saying as such; that Classic Sonic is, indeed, from the past. It's even stated that Modern Sonic is who Classic Sonic grew up to be!

IDW doesn't make our job any easier, either. This is information from when the Tangle & Whisper story was ongoing;

However... I'd take it with a grain of salt, as it's from before IDW was considered canon, and back when Sega was much more strict on the mandates and what they did and didn't allow in Sonic media. Plus, this was still the age listed on Sonic Channel, before they removed it.

Oh yeah, that. Why don't we talk about that?

On October of 2022, all the ages on Sonic Channel were removed.

This... Was a good move. SonAmy is still being pushed ever so very slightly, with Amy's crush still being present in a recent short even if she's much more mature about it now, which would make their age difference less than ideal. On top of that, the ages really just didn't line up chronologically speaking.

So, where does that leave us now?

In this interview, Takashi Iizuka is asked about Sonic's age; to which he responds that "He's a teenager."

youtube

"Teenager" is a bit of a loose definition, probably on purpose. Generally speaking, the range for teenager ranges from anywhere to 13-19, to 13-21 depending on who you ask. Some people make the cutoff at 18, though that's almost never done when it comes to scientific material.

So, let's recap. Sonic is still considered a teenager, but he's always been considered one, all the way back from the Classic series. So, we can safely assume Classic isn't 15; either that, or he was, and the modern series takes place during anywhere from 2-6 years, which I could believe. Either way, he's at minimum about 13-14, as he's a younger version of Sonic who hasn't hit a growth spurt yet.

Then, we have anywhere from 1 to 2 canon birthdays for Sonic, depending on whether you count Runners as canon or not (which I would admittedly not at all fault you for not considering it canon, considering it's a mobile game; and a discontinued one at that), as well as a 6-month timeskip during Forces, potential 5-month timeskip during Heroes (which isn't the most unbelievable proposition or anything, considering it would be a bit weird if Shadow was presumed dead only to show back up like a week later), and a bunch of events that have caused severe structural damage to key locations in the world, namely during Sonic Unleashed and Sonic Adventure 1 as the 2 biggest examples. Oh, and Sonic Forces throwing absolutely everything into disarray on a seemingly global scale, which would take quite a bit of time to be fixed, specially considering that's still an ongoing process in IDW.

On top of all this, it's outright shown that these things don't just happen every week or whatever, things happen off-screen, characters get time off to do their own stuff, and from the looks of it, Murder Of Sonic The Hedgehog is canon, as nothing there conflicts with canon and it's officially endorsed. Which means WE HAVE YET ANOTHER FUCKING BIRTHDAY PARTY, FOR AMY THIS TIME.

Further proving the point i just stated, let's look at the geographical Prison Island. This is what it looks like in Sonic Adventure 2.

A big, mechanical prison complex made out of nothing but cold hard metal. Filled with robots, not a single trace of nature in sight. Said nature however is not too far from these military bases, though! These forests are also on the island.

So, these are the two main parts of Prison Island. Abundant nature, and military facilities. There's very little difference once the story progresses further, though, as the island...

Fucking explodes. (Clip from Sonic Adventure 2 Real-Time Fandub. Credit to SnapCube.)

So, why is this relevant? Well, we revisit this location in Shadow The Hedgehog! The game, not the guy.

As we can see, there is no longer any difference between nature and construct. The base has been completely abandoned, and overtaken by the nearby forests, with greenery sprouting all over it. Now, it's not impossible that plant life in the Sonic series grows a bit faster than real plants, but methinks that an entire military base doesn't get overtaken by nature this hard within a month. There's entire new trees, grass and plants growing all over what was previously pavement, not even the walls are safe! Every single area is either covered in toxic waste, plant life, or both. Plant life that, again, needs time to grow. So there's likely a pretty big chunk of time between Sonic Adventure 2 and Shadow The Hedgehog, even though they're only separated by 1 game, Sonic Heroes.

Add that to the many many reasons these things can't just happen on a week by week basis! On to my next point...

No, proportions don't really mean anything in terms of age. Sure, Vanilla is quite big, and so are the conductor and his wife, but Rouge is undoubtedly an adult and her proportions are more or less the same as everyone else. So all they help distinguish is between children (Tails, Cream) and non-children. In this exact screenshot we see that Vanilla is much taller than rouge, almost being at eye level with each other despite Rouge sitting on an elevated surface, while Vanilla is standing. This height difference is also present in the games, although we rarely get to see them next to each other.

So, all this taken into account, the fact Sonic has been a teenager since the Classic series, the fact there's been a few timeskips and at least 2 birthdays, several events that would need some time to recover from, specially with a still-ongoing recovery process after Forces, the fact Elise is allegedly 17 in 06 (which would make her whole romantic subplot with Sonic even more uncomfortable than it already is by default if he was any younger than say, idk about 16 years old at the least), among many other reasons that I may have forgotten to mention, the chances of Sonic being 15, hell, even 16 are very, very slim. At the very least, he's got to be about 17, and he could honestly be as old as 19 or 20 (depending on whether Iizuka meant he's of adolescent age or a teenager).

So, if you do still view Sonic as a minor, that's perfectly fine, and honestly believable; but with all these facts stacked up, as time goes on, it will be less and less likely that him being underage will be a real possibility. This isn't the Pokemon anime. There's actual structure, lore, and a proper sense of scale; and something like Sonic's age being frozen at 15-16 just wouldn't make any sense.

All this to say, Sonic is, most likely, no longer a minor. There's some wiggle room where he could be one, but 18-19 is the most likely option, specially considering how Frontiers was comfortable with pitching his voice down. Yes, it was for the sake of the game's tone, but Tails's voice for example didn't have that much of a difference to it, because he's a child and it would be weird for a character to sound so much older than they actually are- and this goes for Sonic too.

So, in conclusion, after extensive analysis and every source I could find for Sonic's age taken into account;

You can, most likely, fuck Sonic The Hedgehog.

...

BUT IT'S NOT OVER YET.

We need to take both his other iterations into consideration, as well as address characters whose fuckability status depends on him. First, the alternative versions.

Movie Sonic

This one's a kid. On top of acting much more immature and inexperienced, outright described as irresponsible- hell, Tom even says "Whether you wanna hear this or not, you're still just a kid. You've got some more growing up to do before you're ready to be the big hero". He acts like a kid, is referred to as a kid, and hell, it makes sense, the movies so far have adapted Sonic 1-3&K, the games where Sonic was still just starting out his adventures.

Prime Sonic

This one's... More uncertain. He's definitely quite immature and inexperienced; though he feels more... Reckless than anything else. More of an attitude problem than an age problem, really, considering how Amy and Shadow act, two characters who should be about the same age as him, but that act much more maturely for the most part.

This one's pretty up in the air, I'd say, considering how Prime seems to be comfortable having their own versions of the cast (going by how different Shadow seems to be and how he has seemingly no attachment to Rouge, who is one of the people he trusts the most in canon).

Oh yeah, I haven't watched season 3 yet, but I doubt it changes much of anything about this judgement.

THE SONIC-DEPENDENT ONES

THE ROBOT SONICS

While they're all likely able to consent (... Okay, Mecha MK. 1 is a bit more dubious on whether it's sapient), it would probably be unethical to fuck something that's made to look like someone who's a minor. While they were made when Sonic was definitely a minor, he isn't one anymore, and the resemblance is still there to pretty much the exact same degree, so there's really no ambiguity here.

You can fuck them. Go ham, robot-fuckers.

SCOURGE

Look, we're not covering the mess that Archie can be. But from what I gather, Sonic is, at most, 17 pre-SGW. And this is just an alternate version of that Sonic, who likely didn't go through all the uber weird shit that makes Archie Sonic's age a nightmare to deal with. So, no, unfortunately for a lot of you, you probably can't fuck Scourge. Fortunately, though...

SURGE

Surge's age is, according to this post by IDW artist and writer Evan Stanley, around Sonic's age. So, what goes for the hedgehog goes for the Tenrec, you can most likely fuck her. Go ham.

... Elise?

She was 17 during 06, and some time has passed since then, and it would be weird if she had any bigger of an age gap with Sonic, plus plenty of time has passed since 06, so... I guess you can? I don't see why you would, but power to you, I suppose. Can't judge.

MIGHTY AND RAY

These two have been here since SegaSonic The Hedgehog in the arcades, which happens even before Sonic 2 does! Ray is never once really implied to be young, no matter how much he may seem like Mighty's Tails equivalent (Which... He's not meant to be. He was made before Tails.), and he's most likely about even with Mighty, who is most likely the same age as Sonic, seeing how they're meant to be parallels (down to Sonic's sprites being rehashed for his sprites in Chaotix), and the Japanese manual for Knuckles' Chaotix listing him as 16.

They're here mostly because Mighty is a partial Sonic counterpart, and Ray tends to be anywhere that Mighty goes these days, so they might as well be treated as a package deal.

So, yes, you can most likely fuck them... Even if we have absolutely no idea what their modern versions look like. Seriously, where the hell have they been? At least we know they're fine, considering it's been stated that they're off on their own adventures these days.

Aaaand... That's it! That's all the Sonic-dependent characters I could think of, at least ones that I think don't really merit their own posts. TL;DR

Metal Sonic, Mecha Sonic, etc: Fuckable Scourge: Unfuckable Surge: Fuckable Elise: Fuckable Mighty: Fuckable Ray: Fuckable

The "Fuckable" marks should go with an asterisk, as Sonic's status is "Most Likely Fuckable", but still.

Phew. Finally done. I've spent pretty much all goddamn day writing this. Hopefully this is useful for someone. Hopefully. God knows it'll make my job easier.

I'll just go write the alt text and go eat something, this took... Way longer than I'd like to admit. See you when the post goes up.

Go ham, you beautiful horny bastards.

Edit: Future OP here! I had to remake this post because the DIC bit earlier somehow triggered some weird copyright stuff on Tumblr, basically hiding the post from anyone who isn't directly looking at the blog. In the meantime, I added that bit about Prison Island to further add to his potential fuckability. So his margin for being a minor is even smaller now! How fun! Anyways, now I'll be seeing myself out for the time being. Thanks, and have fun.

#sonic the hedgehog #sth #sonic prime #paramount sonic #status: fuckable #metal sonic #mecha sonic #scourge the hedgehog #surge the tenrec #mighty the armadillo #ray the flying squirrel

34 notes · View notes