#hazbin queued

[hazbinsponsoredbyvee]

To everyone: Would you rather be stuck in the woods with a man or a bear?

—bird anon

"A full human would make for a better meal, so I'll choose the man!"

"What kinda bear we talkin' about? I mean, either way, I'm choosin' that."

"Ummm... I think I'll go with the bear. I mean, I'm sure the man would be fine, but I do like animals, and it just seems a bit more predictable."

"Definitely the bear."

"Probably a bear."

"Bears are cute, and I'd rather that than a stranger!"

"A man! I hope it's a bad boy!"

"A bear. All the way."

"Another man would be way more useful. Why the fuck would anyone choose a bear?"

"Fuck, you're a moron. But I'm still choosin' the man cause I can handle myself, an' I can make 'im do the shit I don't wanna."

"A man, of course."

[hazbinsponsoredbyvee]

Charlie and Vaggie, what's your favorite snack(s)?

"Obviously, Vaggie."

"Charlie! You can't just say that!"

[hazbinsponsoredbyvee]

BAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA I CANNOT—

—bird anon

"Hilarious. I'm not Al's fucking stalker."

"The fact that you have hidden upwards of thirty cameras in my room since moving into the hotel says otherwise!"

"Well, if you'd stop destroying them, I'd stop planting more!"

[hazbinsponsoredbyvee]

chaggie chaggie chaggie chaggie chaggie chaggie chaggie chaggie chaggie chaggie chaggie chaggie chaggie chaggie chaggie chaggie chaggie chaggie chaggie chaggie chaggie chaggie chaggie chaggie chaggie

🐦‍⬛ anon

"Hey, Vaggie, isn't that our ship name?"

"Pretty sure it is, babe."

[hazbinsponsoredbyvee]

To everyone, who’s your ride or die?

"Rosie, of course!"

"Cherri all the way!"

"Damn right! And Angie's mine!"

"Well, Vaggie, of course!"

"Wouldn't say I have one."

"Umm... I guess probably Ozzie or Bee."

"Alastor!"

"Definitely Charlie."

"If I'm being honest, probably Velvette."

"Vox."

"It was Vox, but then he went and fucked off with Alastor."

[hazbinsponsoredbyvee]

Vaggie! They made this a meme!

Who would you use this on?

"Most people in the hotel, honestly."

[hazbinsponsoredbyvee]

Ms Vaggie? Does Charlie tickle you?

"All the time. It's how she wins half of our disagreements - I'll agree just to get her to stop. Only for things that aren't serious, though. And she's so adorable while doing it, it's hard to be mad."

[hazbinsponsoredbyvee]

To everyone, name one thing you can and can’t live without

"I can live without many things - bad press and lazy workers among them. And I can't live without the latest VoxTek Assist! Available now!"

"Really, Vox?"

"What?"

"I can live without you peddling your useless products every five seconds. And I can't live without-"

*cough* "Attention." *cough*

"... Killing."

[hazbinsponsoredbyvee]

When you sneeze alastor, does is come out like a tiny deer bleat? That would be so cute!

"It does not."

"Liar."

[hazbinsponsoredbyvee]

I can't stop giggling did y'all see the Vox chair?

—bird anon

"HA! There comes a point where such desperation is just sad."

"Oh, shut up. You know I didn't actually do that, right?"

"And yet, I would hardly be surprised if you had."

[hazbinsponsoredbyvee]

Says the guy who calls people things like 'dear' and 'darling' all the time. Hypocrisy much, Alastor?

"That is entirely different."

"And is this news? Alastor is the biggest hypocrite in Hell! He hates anyone calling him pet names, but he does it all the time to everyone else. And he hates anyone touching him, but he will be the first to violate your personal space. But there is a reason for it. He generally does those things to paint himself as superior and in control, and when that's turned back on him, he doesn't like it so much. Isn't that right, babe?"

"..."

[hazbinsponsoredbyvee]

Alastor, why do you like touching random people SO much, but throw a fit when you get slightly touched by somebody that's not your husband?🤔🤔🤔 Math's not mathing.

-Aro Anon

"Because I am due a certain amount of respect, and people should respect my personal space."

"Allow me to translate stuck-up prick. It's mostly a dominance thing - he can walk all over others and their personal space, but he's the Radio Demon, he's untouchable. At least that's what he likes to think. The other part of it is about control. Every person he lets touch him, that is him giving up a small sliver of control, and he won't do that unless he really values the person. And even then, everyone gets a different degree of leniency. It's me, then Rosie, then Niffty, then Mimzy, then Charlie. If anyone else touches him, he'll start removing appendages."

[hazbinsponsoredbyvee]

…

Bambi is the name of a deer who’s famous for losing his mom-

"..."

"Really wasn't thinking about it like that, Al."

[hazbinsponsoredbyvee]

Vox, your face is way to ugly just like Lucifer.

Alastor, you are handsome.

"Wow. Are you even capable of saying anything else? Because your desperation to repeatedly call me and Lucifer ugly is really fucking pathetic. We know we're hot, and we don't give a shit what you have to say. But clearly, you're obsessed with us, since you feel the need to keep saying it. It'd almost be adorable if it wasn't so sad."

"Well, Vox is the expert on that."

"Hey!"

"Though you know I've always found your obsession delightful, darling. Vox really has set the standard rather high as far as fawning over me goes. A couple of recycled compliments just don't hit the same. Though you are right, of course, I am indeed handsome. However, I must disagree on your first point - Vox is, quite frankly, the most beautiful being I have ever seen. The only person I see any reason to look at, and far superior to his majesty."

"Fuck, I love you."

"Likewise, dear."

[hazbinsponsoredbyvee]

*Attempts to sneak up behind each of the character and say ‘boo’ to them, in order of easiest to hardest to see how sneaky I am*

-Moth Anon

"¡Carajo! Where the fuck did you come from?!"

"Ah! Oh, I didn't see you there!"

"Hey! Not cool!"

"What the fuck?! Fuck off!"

"Fuck! Can't ya' see I'm busy here?!"

"'Boo'? Really?"

"Oh, hi!"

"Are you trying to get stabbed?"

"Yeah, nice try."

"You know I can see you in my cameras, right?"

*Alastor's shadow rises up in front of you before you can get close enough*

[hazbinsponsoredbyvee]

Be honest has anything like this ever happened

⬇️

Vaggie: hey what do you think red dress or black dress for tonight?

Charlie: oh I don’t know you look beautiful in whatever you decide

Vaggie: aw well thank you, but I’m actually having a hard time deciding so I’m hoping you could pick.

Charlie: either way you’re gonna be the prettiest one at the party. I love you so much babe

Vaggie: ok no I love you too and I know you think I’m beautiful and this isn’t a test. I just- which dress would you prefer to see me in tonight

Charlie: I prefer you just the way you are

Vaggie: oh my god. Hey Angel red dress or black?

Angel: black, red makes you look like a bitch

Vaggie: thank you

Angel: no problem

"That has definitely happened a time or two."