#anyway why are vampires so gay

[shirojikimattari]

Hey

ⱽᵃᵐᵖᶦʳᵉ ˢʰᵃᵈᵒʷʰᵉᵃʳᵗ

Reference after cut uwu

By columbo (@thisuserisalive)

[manichewitz]

i dont think yall understand how floored i was when i found out that the interview with the vampire books are actually incredibly erotically gay for real and not just light queercoding or fan's gay ships?? bc this changes everything. i had always assumed anne rice hated fanfic authors for making her male characters fuck, but no, she just wanted to be the only author making her male characters fuck

[indelicateink]

as an american, sam reid’s total inability to hide his contempt for overly fake-chipper american journalists, especially ones who Have Not Done The Assigned Reading know and care about the show, will never not be hilarious and iconic to me

[mashmouths]

so i started this show and it just gets worse and worseeeee not only did it lift the romance subplot directly from twilight (and not well) but they also are trying to play the forbidden love angle hard in the fantasy racism vein except it's a "cross-species" relationship between the two whitest people i've ever seen in my life and there are three people of color in the whole (first season of the) show who aren't villains and it seems that every other episode (and sometimes ebery episode and sometimes twice an episode!) there is a man physically or magically subjugating a woman and i keep waiting for the big reveal at the end to be stolen from fucking rainbow rowell

[wolfstrong]

childhood best friends Willow and Xander :)

[thelioncourts]

+

[adamnablelittledevil]

I've dreamed with IWTV three times this month, and twice in a row this week. I don't remember the dreams anymore because I didn't immediately write them down, but I'm almost sure Armand was on 2/3 of them and Lestat appeared all times. It turns the brainrot can and will get worse, I fear...

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

hang on are cougars like panthers

[chiistarri]

imsoo normal about guys byw

[eldritchamy]

oops guess who watched 30 episodes of The Vampire Diaries in 42 hours, cried their eyes out, and has a headache

I just finished season 2 and ouch

[sapphicneige]

I just wanted to come somewhere and just shout about how fucking hot vampires are.

[astrxealis]

i'm so angry at myself sometimes for how obviously i would have become an astarion lover

[vampirenicotine]

analyzing the lyrics for “long face” feat. lestat de lioncourt and realizing it’s a louis diss track (with love) is making me more unhinged by the second.

so we open with the gorgeous oooh oooh wah ahhh hypnotizing portion of this song that will stay in your head and where samuel thyne reid is also showing off his *cough* vocal talent.

next….

“why the long face? my pretty baby” — cause you know louis is a sad girlie but also so fucking beautiful and irresistible to lestat when they met he couldn’t possibly understand what louis would be sad about but also… he’s ready to comfort him ALWAYS.

“i got long fangs come appraise me” —lestat is talking about how he’s a vampire so come asess my value and also … fangs could be a metaphor for his pink pony so!

“bring your long stakes that doesn’t phase me” — lestat is saying you can talk shit about me louis and drive a stake through my heart but i still love you teehe.

“i’m an actor in my make up” — he’s saying i can play games too, louis.

“i’ll get fatter when we break up” —so he’s acknowledging the confidence issues he had over the 77 year break up and the break ups before which…. i don’t have the words to speak on otherwise i’ll die.

“why does it matter who i take up?” —he’s saying why does it matter who i sleep with in regardless to antoinette and it’s like love you king… but you’re crazy.

NEXT!

“another face, another year, another place, another tear, pick up the pace, rack up the fears, now we’re having fun.” — this is a little love letter to his cult (us) telling us to get amplified bitch it’s only the beginning

the instrumental break/oohing and ahhing just so immaculate tough cookie alex & larry really did that!

“i’m piano and you’re forte.” — so this lyric right here is what drove me feral because it has so many possible meanings and a few naughty innuendos. what im going to land on however is the fact that lestat is saying im piano because he can be used in whatever way louis wants to use him and he’s saying louis you’re forte (which means my strength) so he’s like idc what you say about me because you hold me together 🥹

“you’re allegro, i’m andante.” —THIS RIGHT HERE HAD ME ON MY KNEES. this is exposing their sex life in the best way because lestat is saying oh i’m your black tar heroin? ok noted and lemme match that because you’re allegro (which means energetic, fast, super active, loud) so basically he says i know you’re addicted to me because i was there. you’re wild in bed and you’re a screamer. he then says he’s andante (slow) because he likes to take his time and worship louis and really make love to him. BYE.

“we’re boléro, prostitué.” —and then he’s like just because i said we go slow sometimes first and foremost we’re freaks. we’re nasty and we’re unspeakable and well… thank you so much for those visuals queen de lioncourt.

“another taste, another year, another place, another tear, another chase, another sneer, without a trace, you disappear, pick up the pace, pack up the gear, gimme some face, a souvenir, here come the gays, here comes the fear, now we’re having fun.” — these bars are what’s going to give miss lioncourt her first grammy nominations because she is summarizing her relationship with louis and hopes for the future.

he’s also telling louis he’s giving him exactly what he wants. he’s chasing him. he knows louis is gonna sneer at him and be annoyed but come anyway. he’s saying you ghosted me after our reunion but im going on tour and you WILL be my rockstar girlfriend. you’ll kiss me (or the pink pony) before my shows as good luck. he’s saying we’re gonna be gay and proud, we’ll take over the world, cause the vampire apocalypse, scare bitches, and have fun. we own the night.

and finally for the song to end with lestat losing himself and moaning into the mic (coming, smirks) as he thinks about his chaotic plan to get louis back well… it’s just music to my ears. and i will listen to it again. and again. and again. and again.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ rating for you lestat

signed,

your loving groupie.

[ohnoitstbskyen]

I heard a raw line from Guilllermo Del Toro the other day about monsters being the perfect way to express human failure:

“…monsters, I believe, are patron saints of our blissful imperfection, and they allow and embody the possibility of failing.”

And i was wondering your take on this quote in relation to things like vampire and werewolf and other semi-monster subtexts. “Monstrous” humans that are ironically allowed to act more human more often than… humans. I just find the attempt to make an outlet for imperfection while still at large criticizing it fascinating.

I mean, yeah, there's a long history of interpreting monsters through queer, anti-colonial, feminist and other Outsider lenses for exactly those reasons. The monster is the Other who is vilified by the in-group, which represents all that the in-group hates. The monster must, by its nature, fail to live up to the standards and expectations of the in-group, which is why it must be destroyed. But that also means the monster is free from the standards and expectations of the in-group, including oppressive and bigoted ones.

So, as an example, if you're queer, and rhetorically treated as inhuman and monstrous and diseased anyway, or eugenically classified as a deviant mutation or sub-derivation of "real" people, there is real appeal and a real sense of resistance in claiming monsterhood, in embracing it and glorying in it.

In part, that's what the rallying cry "we're here, we're queer, get used to it!" meant and still means. It is a reclaiming of monsterhood as a source of strength and community and pride, rather than shame. Slurs are used to Other queer people, to set them apart from "real" people and mark them out as a monstrous deviation from the virtuous norm - slurs are used to call us monsters. And thus a lot of queer people find a lot of power and freedom in reclaiming them, in turning their Othering into a flag to rally around.

And I think that's still a big part of the appeal of the monster, honestly, that freedom from being what someone else thinks you ought to be.

If you're a monster, you don't have to have the perfect body, you don't have to suppress your lust or your love. You don't have to shave your body hair or dress correctly for your assigned gender, or have a white picket fence house with a spouse and 2.3 children. You don't have to sit primly at the dinner table, you don't have to repress your emotions, you don't have to hate the foreigner or despise the gays or fear the trans agenda. You don't have to have a small, straight nose or perfect cheekbones, you don't have to wait to fuck until you're married, or pretend you want to fuck at all. You don't have to want to get rich or be a CEO, you don't have to pull yourself up by your bootstraps or be on your grindset, or cheer when the cops clear out a homeless camp.

To be a monster is to be free from the inhumanity that is forced on us by white supremacy, by fatphobia, by heteronormativity, by imperialism, and by the interests of capital. To be a monster is to be human in all the ways that are inconvenient to oppression.

... but I went off on a tangent there a little bit - vampires and werewolves, right. I have no theoretical or academic basis for any of this, so this is entirely a personal hot take, but I think vampires are perhaps a bit more about "passing" as a fantasy. Not necessarily in a gender sense, but the ability to keep your true nature undetected by the "normal" folk, while the secret things that make you different also make you dangerous and powerful. Surviving by stealing sustenance from a world that hates you, on terms that are entirely yours to dictate. "I will survive even if it kills you," that kind of vibe.

Werewolves, on the other hand, feel more like a defiant, angry embrace of the monstrous. Transforming into something vast and powerful and furious, growing out of your skin, out of your form, out of your boundaries; howling your nature to the moon and mauling any motherfucker who has a problem with it. Giving in to all the beastly unnatural urges, and diving into the horrible monstrous wants and desires that boil inside you (which, remember, include things like Not Wanting To Fuck or Wanting To Hold A Girl's Hand In A Lesbian Sort Of Way). Less the "I outfoxed your social game and drank you dry" slick vampire power fantasy and more the "call me a slur one more time and I'm going to wear your entrails like a fucking scarf" power fantasy.

Again, that's just personal hot takes, everyone's understanding of the monstrous in relation to themselves is different. I've seen a number of genderfluid and nb people use monstrousness as a way to defy occupying a shape that can be gendered for example.

[whumpy-wyrms]

this guy would beat Silas’s ass btw

forever and ever thinking about my silly punk vampire oc Zephyr… i just needed you all to look at him

[hope-you-brought-kneepads-bitch]

Demon!Y/n headcannon

-Demon!Y/n has never really had a phone, when you first came out of hell it was the last thing on your mind, if you need to use the phone you’ll just steal Wandas, Wanda hasn’t seen her own phone for months now and suddenly she has TikTok on her phone, how strange

-Peter thought you were werewolf go begin with, the first time a full moon hit he panicked running around shouting about you turning into a werewolf, when you didn’t turn you had to tell him you weren’t a disgusting werewolf but a demon of the underworld and he didn’t know what was worse

-Whenever you get ravenous for blood or have a need to kill Tony will take you to a hydra base and let you loose in the place, he comes back to you happy and covered in blood, he washes you down with a hose before letting you back on the quinjet though

-You’re obsessed with pride, being from the 16th century obviously gay people were a sin and killed instantly so whenever you could you’d shout from the rooftops how gay you are, you loved it

-Before you and Wanda got together you’d go out partying with Tony completely overwhelmed the first time with all the music, the drinks and the grinding, suffice to say you slept with quite a few women over the times you went simply because you couldn’t say no and this is what you thought modern people did and these ladies were very nice

-You rejected Wanda the first time she asked you out, you said you didn’t want to mess things up, but doing this you nearly pushed her away completely, anyway in the end you guys ended up in bed together after an argument about you ignoring her and why. Wanda didn’t leave your bed for a while after that night

-You’re not a vampire! And if Tony tries mentioning you are one more time he’ll have his throat ripped out! Just because you need to have blood because of lucifer’s stupid curse and if you broke it he’d take you back down to hell and you really didn’t want to go back because it’s too hot (obviously) and your human skin is too scratchy! And-

-Nevermind, anyway you’re very protective of Wanda and would burn the world down if she ever started to cry for no reason, once a guy in a bar tried hitting on Wanda and having a super sense of smell you could smell how he felt about her and it nearly made you throw up, anyway you dragged him outside and gently reminded him about flirting with taken women, Wanda had never been more attracted to you in that moment

-You’re a big softie, you’re the little spoon most of the time with Wanda, unless she’s really sick then you’ll give up your favourite spot in order to comfort her

-You’ve started collecting stuffed animals, you loved the dragon plushies and you’ve even got dragon statues around your room, Wanda is starting to feel like a third wheel with all the dragons that were plastered around the room

-Loud music! Why is music so loud?! Wanda likes soft music playing when she’s reading or cooking and that was nice, it was soothing but why is Tony playing heavy bass music at his parties? You don’t like it and refuse to go to any parties if he’s got music playing