started crying thinking about this at 1am in bed so. ✌🏻 my writing doesn’t do the mental image I had justice so please bear with me ok i got sad and am a Bad Writer
-
Tommy gave it to her. Ellie had been asking him endless questions about Sarah that he could barely answer without cracking. Eventually the conversation was too taxing on Tommy, so he gave Ellie the picture. This is her, he’d said. She was a… beautiful kid.
It was the one of Joel with his hand over Sarah’s eyes. Both their faces were beaming and their smiles were so wide.
She didn’t think Joel could smile that wide. And Sarah? Yeah, she did have a killer smile.
Joel didn’t know Tommy gave Ellie the picture, but what caught him even more off guard was seeing Ellie admire it.
His hitched breath is what alerted Ellie to his presence. Joel made his way from the living room to the kitchen with a shaky breath and fists tight enough to draw blood from his palms.
Ellie kid the photo quickly and followed Joel, pestering him with a mix of are you okay’s and I’m sorry’s. Ellie’s concerns never landed on his ears—only the swift, fleeting sound her laugh as he covered her eyes and the dad! Shouted as he chuckled at the photo opportunity.
Sarah. Her smile. Her laugh. Her voice.
-
They don’t talk about it. At least, not until later. Not until Ellie’s curiosity got the best of her. Not until Joel had calmed down and she thought maybe.
Besides, she lost Riley. And Henry. And Sam. He’d understand, right? Thinking about her the way Ellie thinks about them? Dreaming about them?
She was his daughter, of course he did. His nightmares filled with it should’ve been me over and over again. They had to be about Sarah.
Maybe, in a way, it was selfish to ask him about her. Maybe, also, she was doing it so he could have the chance to talk about her. It couldn’t hurt, right?
“Do you still think about her?”
Joel shuffled his feet and breathed. Lying and leaving both crossed his mind, but they wouldn’t do any good. She’d come back with them again sometime later. He nodded his head. “Every day,” he said, keeping his voice steady.
Ellie nodded at the response. Really, that was all she needed. It answered her question. But, again, curiosity. What was she like? What made her laugh? Did you watch movies with her, too?
To her surprise, she’s not the one to ask the next question.
“Do you have it?”
His question surprised her, but Ellie didn’t waste a second to run upstairs, two steps at a time, and grab the photo.
When she returned, Joel’s face was in his hands. He wasn’t crying, not yet at least, but he must’ve been preparing.
Ellie wondered if he’d seen her face in full since That Day.
She sat beside him again and held the photo out. “Here,” she whispered.
He took the picture from her and held it in both his hands, his left thumb gently under Sarah’s chin.
Joel sniffed seeing her in full now. How perfect she was.
And the realization hits him way too late that all he ever did was take her for granted. Her first word, her first steps, the first time she fed herself with a fork. Her first swimming lessons and her first day of soccer practice. Their first guitar lesson together and the first time sarah cooked breakfast for him before work, just because she wanted to.
He hugged her extra tight that morning.
Every fair, museum visit and road-trip were taken for granted. Every smile and cry. Every bloody knee, twisted ankle, and calloused finger.
Joel rubbed his left thumb over her face gently and, for a brief moment, it felt like her skin. It wasn’t her face on a piece of paper anymore, it was her. The perfect, clean skin he’d washed more time than he could count. The cheeks that he’d wiped tears from so many times over. The nose he’d kissed when she was a baby. It was her.
He cried. He clutched the photo as gently as he could in one hand and cried.
Ellie was there, of course. She was pressed against his arm, her hand draped over his arm that was periodically wiping the tears from his face. His other hand was still holding tightly to the photo, his thumb occasionally brushing over her face.
And after Joel felt her the way he’d denied doing for twenty years, he talked about her more. Her beautiful smile. The way she’d always laugh at his stupid attempts at dad jokes. Her height, her room, the music she liked and how she and Tommy would gang up on Joel all turned into lengthy conversations and heartwarming memories between them.
74 notes
·
View notes
Desires
Summary: Law does routine check ups on all the crew members, and decides to take advantage of the situation when it’s your turn.
Tags: nsfw, medical setting, inaccurate medical practice, I would say dubcon just to be safe, medical malpractice, vaginal fingering, piv, unprotected sex, female reader
Word Count: 3k
In order to keep a healthy and functioning ship, Law had each crew member do a monthly check up with him. Simple and short, it was merely to give anyone the chance to bring up possible ailments or small issues that may have gone under the radar. You hadn’t known about this routine when you first joined as Law wanted you to get comfortable with your new life on the Polar Tang. Now that months had passed and you were melding in smoothly, it was time for your first one. As you approached the infirmary, your nerves were getting the best of you, and now wished you had asked Ikkaku what you were in for.
Unsure what to do once at the door, you knocked, and heard Law call, “Come in,” right after.
“Captain,” you said as you gently closed the door.
“Y/n-ya. I’ll need you to strip down and put on the gown on the bed, if you’d please,” he gestured to it with his hand. “I’ll step outside while you do so.”
You froze, caught completely off guard. You didn’t know what to expect, so nothing should have really thrown you, but this was completely blindsiding.
“Strip down? Like take off… everything?” You asked.
“Yes,” he said as he got up. “Just the gown.”
You swallowed and nodded. “Okay.”
He nodded back as he passed you and left the room.
In the time you’d been on the Polar Tang, you had developed some sort of feelings for your captain. The idea of having to be nude in front of him left your skin buzzing, both in excitement and dread. But you wouldn’t be naked, you’d have a gown on. You picked up the said gown and rubbed the material between your forefinger and thumb. The material was thick like normal clothes, and so technically, you wouldn’t be naked in front of him at all.
On the other side of the door, Law was questioning his morals. No, this was not standard procedure. There wasn’t any point in making his crew change clothes, not when it was a ten minute check up. Ever since you joined, you had been this annoying itch in his skin. You sat deep beneath, somewhere he couldn’t reach, something he didn’t know what to do about. He imagined all the ways he could have you, either between your legs or in that special place in his chest. And so he gave himself this one thing, this one abuse of power, and that was it. He’d give some reason why the next time he didn’t make you change, that the first time is different, more thorough possibly. He just wanted to have the knowledge this one time that you stood before him with nothing beneath that gown. Just this once.
After changing into the gown, you folded your jumpsuit and underwear, setting them on the corner of the bed with both bra and panties buried deep inside the suit. You took off your boots and socks as well, and set those at the foot of the bed. Sitting propped on the edge with ankles crossed and hands pressed into your lap, you called out, “Okay. I’m ready.”
You couldn’t bring yourself to keep your gaze on his face, instead opting for his chest and the stethoscope around it. You missed his heavy lidded gaze, and wrote off the momentary jump his chest made when he inhaled sharply.
He was regretting this indulgence heavily now. Staring at your exposed legs, he was caught by the part of the gown that was hitched up, showing more thigh than he had anticipated. He felt ridiculous about how little he was getting riled up over. And still he needed more.
“Any concerns before we begin?” he asked.
You wracked your brain, but nothing ached, there wasn’t any lingering pain from past issues. Just the usual bumps and bruises that came with maintaining a pirate’s life. “No.”
“Alright. I’ll be starting with your heart and lungs. I’m just looking for any abnormalities, like an irregular heartbeat or a struggle with breathing. I’ll need you to lean forward so I can access your back.” He washed his hands as he spoke and put on a pair of gloves.
You did as he asked, staring hard at the floor as you waited. You watched his feet approach and stop to your right. The cold from the stethoscope made you jump, and almost like it was instinctual, Law lightly grabbed your knee, as if to steady you. Your heart began to pound wildly, and the heat began to grow in your cheeks. He’d know it was his touch that made you nervous, and then he’d ask you why, and you’d have to tell him that just his mere presence made you light-headed, and so of course your heart was going to explode from his hand. And then he was never going to come anywhere near you again. Your damned heart was going to ruin it all.
But he didn’t ask about your heartbeat. He only asked for a few deep breaths before he stepped back, taking the plugs out of his ears and resting the whole thing back on his neck. “Sounds good,” was all he said. He didn’t admit that your nerves pleased him, that it might mean you felt something towards him. But he tried to smother it. He was not something that anyone could possibly desire.
“Alright, now for your eyes. Similarly, I’m looking for any abnormalities, something like cloudiness or an irregularity in the iris or pupil.” He pulled a slim cylinder from his array of tools, and asked you to open your eyes wide and to stare at his right ear. He turned it on, and a bright light blinded you. You didn’t move, doing your best to do as he asked and be a star patient. You always felt the need to find some sort of approval from him, as he wasn’t the type to give it out liberally, and that made it even more worthwhile. He switched to the other eye, asking you to look to his left ear. He stepped back, murmuring, “Good, good.”
“Now I’ll be looking into your ears. I’m just looking for any irritation, anything foreign, blockage, or possible damage both to the ear canal or the eardrum.” He grabbed one of the many tools displayed across the counter. Softly, he grabbed your chin and tilted your head so that he could look. This sudden and continuous intimacy was overwhelming; he had never touched you before. It simply must be how it went with everyone else on the crew. With the way he usually spoke to you, it was clear he held no secret fondness just for you. This was just work. When he switched sides, his leg pressed against yours, and he kept it there. You didn’t know exactly what about this was bringing him so close, but you hoped it would never end.
“I have to check your throat now. If you could open your mouth and stick your tongue out, please.” Once again, you did as told. You expected him to reach out again for one of his tools, for him to just simply look in, but instead his forefinger and middle finger were pushed in and pressed down on your tongue. You let out a small and surprised yelp. You squeezed your thighs together, tight, against the shot of pleasure you felt, and grabbed onto Law’s coat.
Law knew damn well this was not the right way to do it. He had those wooden sticks, neatly tucked away in a glass jar. But he needed to feel the warmth of your mouth, the slick of your spit wetting his fingers. His left hand immediately gripped your thigh as soon as that sound left your mouth. Law wasn’t really seeing, he couldn’t focus on anything but how you felt beneath his hands. He slowly dragged his fingers down your tongue, savoring the sight before fully removing them. He didn’t move away though, nor remove his other hand. He was incapable of it. Belatedly, he registers the hands gripping his coat. His eyes meet yours.
You immediately let go and leaned back, misreading his look as one of questioning and annoyance. Heat burned your cheeks as you held your mouth open, waiting for his next instruction.
He cleared his throat and managed to pull himself away. “You can close your mouth. Everything looks fine.”
Law turned away, and stood back in front of the counter. He looked to be contemplating something, staring at the items splayed before him without touching them. He rested his hands on the counter, a finger on his right hand tapping and tapping away. Nerves started to claw at your stomach.
“I’d like to do a vaginal exam,” he said suddenly. Your stomach swooped and your head felt light immediately.
“You can say no, it’s not necessary, it’s merely on offer, a precaution.” Law was cursing himself. He was being unbelievably stupid, he knew it, and yet he couldn’t stop himself. He stayed facing the wall, rigid and unmoving. It was a gamble and one that he immediately regretted. If you said no, it would marr the way you looked at him for the rest of both of your lives. It was too far of a jump from a regular exam, you’d see right through it and know him for the pervert he was. He was being gross and was crossing too many lines, all for the slim chance you might accept. And if you did, then what? What the fuck was he doing right now?
A different war was going on in your own head. It was an intimate and vulnerable suggestion, one that would bring him closer than ever before. Could you let him do something like that? What even would he do? Would he simply look, or would he stick his fingers in like he had just now? The thought sent another pleasant shiver through you, and the heat at your core was building once again. Fears and nerves and need made you so unsettled, and the need for him to touch you became unbearable all of a sudden. It was a professional formality, nothing more, and you were taking more from it than he was, turning it into something it wasn’t, but you didn’t care. He didn’t have to know you were enjoying it, that it was something you were going to use to get off to later, and multiple times more after that. It made you feel dirty but you didn’t care.
“Yes,” you said. “I’m okay with that.”
Law finally looked at you, the surprise clear on his face. For a second, you feared that you missed something, some queue that meant you were supposed to say no. But then his face cleared, he nodded, and placed himself in front of you.
“I’ll need you to lift your legs up. I can position them for you, if you’d prefer.” Law was barely keeping himself together. He couldn’t believe you agreed, and didn’t want to make the wrong move and ask for him to stop. His entire self was currently a sea of desire and self hatred.
“Yeah,” you said. “I’d prefer that.” Your voice was soft, anxious over spoiling the moment as well as what came next.
Law nodded, and pushed your gown all the way up your thighs. He was desperately trying to keep his hands still, to keep his composure and professionalism. But the more skin he exposed, the farther he took it, the more he started to lose it. He then gently grabbed both of your knees, and proceeded to lift them and push them to your chest.
All the air rushed out of Law’s lungs as you were now fully exposed to him. You could hear it as it happened, and as you watched his face for further reaction, you saw his tongue dart out to quickly wet his lips. It was not exactly what you had expected, but it was an ideal one nonetheless.
As he let go of your legs, pressed your toes into the mattress to keep yourself in the position he placed you in. Law’s movements seemed slower, and his eyes never left your pussy.
“I’m…” he trailed off, his emotions finally breaking through the barrier he’d placed. “I’m going to put my fingers in now, okay?”
You nodded, noticing that he did not give the medical reasoning behind it. It didn’t matter to you, as long as he touched you.
He slipped one finger in, emitting a small sigh from you. It went in easily, the wetness having already coated your hole. He curled the digit, just barely moving it in and out, feeling around your walls. Law placed his other hand just beneath your thigh, leaning in closer, terribly focused. He felt your walls tighten at his touch and proximity, and began to feel smug.
“Feels nice in here,” he said. It came out breathy, and a grin tugged at the corner of his mouth.
Feeling bold, he added another finger, and reached deeper. You rocked your hips forward and let out a whine.
At this, Law finally meets your gaze. He looked to your mouth and leaned in close. His eyes flit back to yours, to your mouth, and then your eyes again, asking. His eyebrows furrowed. Pleading. You barely nod before his lips are smashed against yours. Law is a starved man, and he devours you greedily. He pulls his fingers out and rips off his gloves, desperate for that skin to skin contact. You buried your hands into his hair and moaned into his mouth. It was messy and heated, kissing until it became a sloppy make out. You parted your lips to let his tongue in, and Law did not hesitate to explore your mouth. His hands had moved to grip your thighs, keeping them in position and kneading them as he did so. They moved lower and lower, teasing. He inserted his fingers into you again, and started properly pumping them in and out. You pulled away to breathe and moan, and Law took the opportunity to latch onto your neck.
It was divine to finally have those skilled doctors fingers inside you, working you open. He scissored them as he went, his palm hitting your clit again and again, and it was better than all those daydreams. His mouth was hot where he sucked on your skin, and each playful scrape of his teeth made you groan.
Law kept a fast pace, his fingers hitting that spongy sweet spot again and again, but it wasn’t enough, you wanted more.
“Law,” you breathed. “I want you.”
He lifted his head and pressed his mouth to your once again, muttering, “You want me? Say what you want.”
You whined again before saying, “I want your dick. I need you to fuck me.”
He hummed and said, “You do?”
He could be so frustrating, such a tease. Huffing, you said, “Law, please.”
He finally obliged, taking his fingers out and licking them clean before working his belt undone and unzipping his pants. He pushed them and his underwear down just enough to pull his cock out. Law dragged his tip through your folds, coating himself in your fluids and relishing the way his actions made you squirm. Right before you were about to complain, he pushed himself inside, taking it slow to let you adjust. It wasn’t all that thick, so the burn of being stretched was pleasurable, but it was long, and he was deep by the time he bottomed out.
“You feel good, pretty girl?” Law asked.
“Yeah.” You took a deep breath. “Yeah, I feel good.”
Law pulled himself out, till just the tip was still barely inside, before slamming himself all the way back in. You cried out, your back arching, and Law kept fucking into you, setting a brutal pace. Every accidental brush of your hand against him, every longing look he gave you when you weren’t paying attention, and every ache that Law felt when he was near you was put into each thrust. He wrapped his arms around you and squeezed you close, until your chests where flush against each other. To have you so close to him was making him wild, and to have you mewling and crying out into his ear made him go positively insane. That added with the way your walls squeezed around him made him want to never let you out of his sight ever again.
Your own thoughts were completely filled with Law. It was impossible to think of anything else. The way he held you so close and slammed into so wantonly, your skin making lewd slapping sounds and the wet squelching of your cunt being fucked, that it was him filling you up so nicely, it all was so overwhelmingly good that it made tears prick at the corners of your eyes. Incoherent sounds spilled from your mouth, and as the heat started to build in your lower stomach, you whined out Law’s name again and again.
He reached down between you and started rubbing your clit with his thumb. You moaned out at the new sensation and gripped Law’s shoulders harder, nails starting to dig in.
“There you go, baby. There you go,” Law murmured, sounding strained. “Just let go for me.”
Your brain had gone blank at this point, focused on nothing but the man before you and the heat building in your core. Your words were slurred as you chanted out a “please, please, please.” The feeling built until it suddenly snapped and you came with a cry.
“There it is, just like that, so good for me.” Law’s words came out all strung together, talking you through your orgasm just as much as he was talking to himself as his own came closer. He kept rubbing your clit as he fucked you through your high, pushing you close to overstimulation. At a final pulse from your pussy, Law came inside you. He removed his hand and pulled you close again, his hips stuttering as he finished.
Law rested his forehead against yours, both of you panting and trying to collect yourselves. Once you caught your breath, you broke the silence.
“Did I pass?” you asked.
Law groaned and rolled his eyes as you giggled. He pressed a kiss to your mouth before saying, “Yeah, you did.”
442 notes
·
View notes