#anyway this isn’t joy this is so sad lol

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

guys I think I broke jeremiah

In reality, he doesn’t know if he’ll be back soon, or what it means to be back in a place that feels uninhabitable. Once, his apartment was a glitzy haven, beating like a warm body, dancing like a man. Now, as he fluffs his couch cushions and tosses an old Tupperware of lentil curry into the trash, he understands something’s shifted. Biyu understood exactly what when he’d called her to tell her he’d be leaving for a while but didn’t need to specify. “A little change is good,” she said, the phone clearly pressed up to her ear. Something fried in the background, the popping oil obscuring her voice. “Call me when you’re home. And unplug your appliances,” the latter of which he does now.

What he doesn’t do is tidy his bed. He’s been sleeping on the couch since late September, anyway. He knows what’ll happen if he scoots under that comforter again, if he counts the catamarans on the sheets like he used to while someone else coiled his hair, touched him like he was silk. How one second under would drag him back to fresh ground cinnamon. A freckled shoulder. Every lyric of Wham Rap! A laugh like rustling windchimes. A body there next to him. A body to memorize.

Before he goes, he shuts his bedroom door. By the time he gets back, he might forget what used to happen there.

[arcaneauthor]

Can you do cute things seungmin does as your boyfriend?

Cute things Seungmin does as your bf

Pairing: Kim Seungmin x reader

Tags: established relationship, just really fluffy, seungmin being puppy personified,

Warnings: mentioned mask kisses?? I’m never really sure what to count as warnings in fluffy stuff like this

Author’s note: Honestly Seungmin is such an underrated member and as someone who has also been known to be seen as being a bit “cold” I hate that so many people misinterpret his personality :( Anyway hope you guys enjoy and be ready cause I’ve already got 3 more members versions in the making!

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Gently bullies you. not in a way that makes you feel self conscious or attacked just soft enough to make you laugh about it with him.

Likes to show you off to the others by sharing pictures and stories and such. Not in a possessive way but like your his pride and joy and he wants to show others how amazing you are.

Seungmin isn’t the best at outwardly expressing his emotions to you so he’d show that he loved you through his actions: cleaning, cooking, preparing relaxing baths, buying you stuff you want without having to ask, etc

And he won’t even acknowledge that he did it or try to get praise for doing it. Will just like casually walk in and lay something you’ve been wanting to buy right in front of you and walk out without even saying anything (but he would secretly light up if you thanked him and told him how much you appreciated it so make sure to do that)

Low key gets worried that him not always verbally expressing how much he loves you makes you feel uncared for so he’ll sometimes talk about it with you and makes sure you know how much you mean to him even if he doesn’t always come out and directly say it.

He’s a lot more emotionally intelligent then people give him credit for though so he’ll be the first to notice if something is off with you. Big sad puppy dog eyes while he tries to figure out what’s wrong.

If you’re just feeling a bit down or nervous he’ll try to cheer you up by cracking some of his typical dry humor jokes. THE biggest smile when he finally gets you to loosen up and laugh.

Likes to give very very subtle pda

Like he has ahold of your hand, interlocked fingers, 24/7. Like he’ll just reach over and snatch it up without even looking or saying anything lol.

The best listener. Like when you spill your problems or worries to him he normally doesn’t even try to advise you on any of it but it’s almost better that way. Just a comforting source to verbalize your issues to and get them off your chest. Even while staying quiet you can tell he’s genuinely listening and cares about what you’re saying. Although he doesn’t normally say much he’ll be holding your hand running a soothing thumb over your knuckles.

Not to say he wouldn’t help you work though them if you wanted him to, but you’d have to ask for it. He personally thinks it’s better to not say anything unless asked in case it seems like he’s forcing his opinions on you

As it’s been mentioned by the members before he has really good manners so he’s always opening your door, carrying your stuff, etc.

Also always enforces the sidewalk rule at all times.

Gives lots of mask kisses

[odinsblog]

[re: this post]

So this neighbor of mine, an older white woman around my mom’s age, who has Multiple Sclerosis and severe scoliosis, as I’m headed out, she comes up to me and says, “Odin! The next two years are going to be great!” And I’m so dumb that it didn’t occur to me what she was talking about, so I go, “What happens in two years?” And she replies, “The Republicans won the election and the next two years are going to be great!” And yeah, I feel a little badly now, but I lost it and I couldn’t hold it in any longer. “THEY’RE ALL FUCKING RACISTS! THEY’RE ALL TERRIBLE EXCUSES FOR HUMAN BEINGS!”

And she stepped back and she just looked sO confused.

But that didn’t stop her from putting her foot even deeper into her mouth. She immediately goes, “But at least Trump won, right?” And without missing a beat, I said, “He’s an even bigger racist asshole than the other Republicans,” and I just kept on walking past her.

It isn’t like me to snap at anyone like that, especially elders (and especially disabled elders), but I guess there’s always a first time for many things. And it was the day after the election too. I’m still fucking raw about it. I know it might seem like a small thing when you consider all the bad things that are about to happen under a second Trump term, but all I could think about was the conversations I had with my sisters and my mom, and I was sad for them because for the first time, I realized that it was possible that none of them might ever see a Black woman president in their lifetimes, and that made me incredibly sad. (Yeah, yeah, I know all about the dangers of weaponized identity politics, and I know that all skin folk ain’t kin folk — but deep down, I felt how I felt).

Anyway, I keep thinking about how happy that white woman was. If she had approached me differently, or maybe at a different moment in time, perhaps I would have responded with a more reasoned, mature, less visceral tone. But I still feel like she deserved it needed to hear it. Like, read the damn room, lady. I am unambiguously Black. You cannot be that tone deaf and just assume that I would share in your joy about openly racist and misogynistic candidates winning.

LOL, I fully expect to get the “angry Black man” treatment from my neighbors now, because I dared to yell at a white woman. Idc.

I’m still pressed.

[merlucide]

Little rant RAAA

like imma be real

I miss being a little writer on here 😭 yeah it fun having so much reach and reaction but it doesn’t have the same satisfaction??

— And I’m not complaining, I am very greatful and excited at how much attention my blog has gotten!! Like over 1.k is insane 😭😭 I still can’t grasp the fact that it’s over A T H O U S A N D P E O P L E

but when I was a little writer, I was more motivated— I worked harder, it was more fun. I would also make more posts just talking about whatever yk?

I would apologize to my like 28 followers for not posting every day lmao— but I felt like these people really liked my stuff and wanted to read my work!! Now it’s just like, not that feeling

I’m not like a writer-writer, I mainly post Headcannons or Smaus or whatever— but I used to really think and get excited to put something out and now it’s just like what I do ? If that make sense, like brushing your teeth yk?

Maybe this sounds dramatic, since this is a fanfiction blog lmao, but it’s just a little saddening to me

I really wanna have that same joy that I had when I had under 100 followers.

I think a part of it is like— a weird rivalry? lmao??

I have fanfic-writer friends on here, who are well known/popular and I love them dearly— but I think I started like getting insecure of my own work? like ‘oh, that’s like way better than what I’m putting out’ or ‘they got so much more attention than I did’

after I started getting more attention I like wanted to be known? lmao? like I admired other writers and remembered their blogs and wanted to be like them yk? Like ‘That Bllk blog’ or whatever the hell im writing about

which again, you could be like ‘girl… you write fanfics as a hobby.. it’s not that deep’ lol

This isn’t something that’s really important lmao, like it’s really not that deep just a thought you know.

I’ve been really think over the past few months about quite literally everything. I’m starting to make subtle changes in my life too, so I’m just feeling everything lmao.

I’m really good at being an optimist, but I’m even better at being a pessimist.

I will never truly be happy, I will always find something to make myself sad. Well, the mind finds negative emotions much more interesting than positive ones, so it’s not easy to stop heh. But I’m making progress, slowly, incrementally.

It’s really hard to break the same patterns, it’s so much easier pretending I’ve already achieved my goals in my head. But alas, that is just a daydream, and a coping mechanism, heh.

Sigh, I’ll get there eventually, baby steps. It’s not like I need to change now anyways, I’m okay as I am. But I’m so much ready for more. I’m ready to change and evolve, to grow and learn, to actually be the me I want to be.

Wow okay not sure how this went from fanfic writing to self growth 😭

Just a rant :>

[welcomehomerandomness]

Welcome Home Website Update Reaction Notes (3/9/2024) Part 2 (SPOILERS)

Here's Part 2 of my Welcome Home Website Update Reaction Notes (3/9/2024)! Hope you enjoy it!

Howdy caterpillar walking ASMR

“It was then that Howdy Pillar pulled out a luxurious looking scarf- If one were to take a guess, it was probably the perfect size for a large house! Wally’s eyes sparkled brightly as he looked at it, but Barnaby was not as impressed. Still, he remembered this was all for Wally.” Barnaby doesn’t like the scarf but at least he knows that Wally needs it to give it to Home…Barnaby’s a true bestie

“There, scaling the tallest of the Homewarming trees in all of the neighborhood, was Sally Starlet herself. She was wearing an outfit adorned in sparkles, glitter, tinsel, ornaments, and even strings of popcorn- She was, as she’s ever been, truly a sight to behold. Even now as she continued to climb up the tree, she was radiant.” Sally is a goddess and an icon

Sally’s nickname for Barnaby is “Barntholomew” lol

Poppy is best bird mom friend lol

Also I wonder what the sunflower-seed ham tastes like

Why does Wally’s voice sound distorted when he says “How can that be.”? Is he sad? Mad? Both?

Awww at least the story ends on a good n-WAIT WHERE’S EDDIE??? WHY ISN’T HE IN THIS STORY???

EDDIE???

I’m scared for Eddie now

Also I love how we get to hear more of Home in this storybook record even if I joke around on how I hate Home lol

Now let’s hear Wally’s Toyland…I think it’s a Christmas song lol

Well at least this one has music instead of Wally singing acapella

Wally’s singing is so beautiful...It brought tears in my eyes sniffles

Also is it just me or do the lyrics “Childhood's joy land…Mystic merry toyland…Once you pass its borders…You can ne'er return again” seem kinda sus?

Like I feel like Wally’s singing about the Neighborhood and how you can never return back home once you entered it? Hmmm…

Anyways let’s listen to Up from the Home-Top which is basically the Welcome Home version of Up from the House Top lol

Oh crap Barnaby’s dead/j

THERE’S EDDIE THERE HE IS HE’S SAFE (for now)

“You lost control!? Can’t you see we’re in the middle of preparing for my Homewarming play? Julie is my Santa Claus! And Home? Her trusted reindeer!” Sally, how does Home being a reindeer work??? Is it gonna drag itself on the stage as Julie rides on top of it or???

Oh crap Julie and Frank are dead/j

Also the song is so silly and wholesome I love it

Now it’s time for “Howdy's Holiday Hullabaloo” Record!!! I’m so excited to hear this!!!

LET’S GO KIDDOS IT’S TIME TO LEARN SOME PILLAR FAMILY LORE

“How, normally, I don’t close early for any ol’ thing! Not rain, not sleet, not snow - not even that time Julie launched herself clean through the wall over there!” Oh god I imagine that one scene from the Scott Pilgrim movie where Scott crashes through a window…But instead of a window it’s a FREAKING WALL

HIS MA AND POPS AWWW

Howdy’s brother kinda sounds like Frank lol

Poor Howdy’s dying inside

I think we all know who Howdy’s favorite sibling is lol

The brother-in-law sounds so nonchalant lol

The nephews are so adorable awww

I just realized that Howdy’s uncle is a snail which is why he’s French lol

I wonder if the uncle is a reference to the Swedish Chef from the Muppets but he’s French instead

Oh god the cousin is a stoner hippie lol

I love Howdy’s grandma

I love Barnaby’s reaction to seeing Howdy’s family at the end lol

Overall the song is pretty charming and I love it so much

Also Barnaby's Tobacco Pipe??? Honestly it’s funny but I don’t think this toy will go well if it was created today lol

Barnaby be teaching kids in the early 70s’ how to be like Snoop Dogg but instead of weed it’s bubbles

Oh god not the nephews

Now let’s listen to “Bug-a-Bye and Goodnight: An Ode to Hibernation” Record

Frank’s voice is so beautiful I love it

But Frank seems kinda sad…

I want to buy that set of homewarming greeting cards to give to my family and friends during Christmas lol

Also I want to try the Crispy Sweets frosted cereal so bad...I NEED IT!!!

And there’s a mini doodle on the side of the pictures too

OHHHHH SO THAT’S WHY THOSE SYMBOLS ARE EVERYWHERE THEY’RE PART OF A SECRET CODE

I solved the code at the back of the cereal box but I don’t have time to decipher the other code that was spread all over the website because I’m too lazy lol

I went back to the Merchandise section and found out that Eddie’s toy that Santa was about to introduce in the radio ad was an Eddie Dear Li’l Mailman Kit

I also want to buy all these toys so bad I don’t care if I’m a college student I want them all lol

“Although our Guestbook is and will remain closed for the foreseeable future, we wanted to properly recreate it for those newly joining in our efforts to explore Welcome Home! After all, it’s fun to look back and see how far we’ve come together as a community! We will be recreating all eight original pages in the near future, so check back in soon to see if you can find your message! Have fun!” I can’t wait to see the Guestbook in the future

ALSO I JUST REALIZED THAT THE CLICKABLE BUGS ARE GONE

Dang I’m gonna miss those bugs

I can’t believe I spent hours on this website lol

My hands are kinda tired from typing lol

Also let me know if I miss anything

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Wednesday lovely Fandom :) Phew lord we’ve reached the eps I’ve only watched once. Because I was far too destroyed to watch them again. Knew my second time around would be my rewatch. I’m not ready emotionally. Will I ever be though? lol If we don't laugh we cry right? Ha Anyways I’m on a strict timetable before I move. So press forward I must. Sad at the lack of gifs in this one. But also understandable since we were all anxious af after this one. I am excited to do Tim analysis though. I always enjoy that.

Also pre-shout out to Eric and Melissa in this one. They never cease to amaze me with their acting chops and chemistry. Eric really kills me in this one in particular. Let us begin the slow breaking of our shipper hearts shall we? Also thank you to my readers for going through this with me. Once was hard enough. But revisiting isn’t any easier so thank you for coming with me on this journey. Off we go.

6x05 The Vow

We get our couple immediately after the cold open. I knew going into this ep it was going to be angsty. I just had no idea why or how bad it would be…It’s date night for our beautiful pair. I just love them constantly dating each other. Makes my soul so damn happy. I can’t put it into words well enough. We get ship crack in this opening sequence for sure though. The way they light up when they see one another. That never gets old. Lucy is lighting candles when her man enters in.

Tim couldn’t be any cuter just as happy for date night as she is. Looks like he’s carrying quite a bit into her apt. Lucy instantly notices his present for her. Tim continues with the cuteness and says yes and the beer is for him. This is so domestic I wanna die. This moment started off so precious I knew he we were in for a world hurt tbh. This scene was the calm before the storm.

Tim is not wasting any time getting a thank you kiss in. Lucy is lit up like a Christmas tree as she leans in for said kiss. I adore the smiles going into it. Making my shipper heart giddy af. Also his grip on her arm. Drawing her in nice and close. It’s doing things to me as they melt into each other. Lucy’s questioning face cracks me up as she pulls back. Tim picking up on it right away. Asking her 'What?' With so much sass I’m cackling. How he has grown in his sass heh

Lucy can’t help but note gift giving isn’t his normal love language. Fact that they’re talking about love languages has me reeling so much. It’s just so cute. I'm squeeing at how friggin precious and domestic this is. Tim challenges her back. Asking what is his love language then? Their banter right here is one of their love languages let's be honest LOL Always top tier with some flirtation mixed in for good measure.

Lucy being cute as all hell replies ‘Terse nods mainly.’ I mean she isn’t wrong haha There have been some wonderful sets about this line. Man sure does love his terse nods. For her especially. Mainly her really. Tim continues his trajectory towards adorable with his reply. Letting her know he’s trying to change things up.

The smile on that man’s face. Oh my word. I said this a lot in S5 and I’ll say it again. Have we ever seen this man so damn happy before her? The answer is a sharp no. Not ever. She is the absolute joy in his life. It just radiates out of him when they’re together. Especially when they’re bantering. Ugh my heart. These two kill me in the best way.

Lucy then turns into an adorable little bean herself. Asking Tim if she can open it now? She is so excited about this impromptu gift. No way she can wait through their dinner to open it. Tim say of course she can. I’m sure he was hoping she would open it right away. Especially with the thought he put into it. Also well done on the wrapping good sir.

Lucy’s reaction is delightful. It reminds me of the way she reacted in 6x03 with her trophy. Blown away by this man’s thoughtfulness. Not only that but making her laugh in the process as well. We get a second in love 'Lucy smile' in the second gif. He is so gone for her. Man they were really setting us up for a fall with the goodies they packed into this scene.

I love how Tim locks eyes with her and is beaming ear to ear. No one makes him smile like that except Lucy. Legit the sunshine in this man’s life. I can’t get over how damn happy he looks. My heart might implode at how happy he is. Happiness looks so good on him. Also how proud he looks as well at his choice in gift. Patting himself on the back for it hehe

We see it’s her KIA radio in a display case. Lucy looking at him like he’s hung the moon and stars. Bringing out her own in love 'Tim smile.' She too is beaming right back. Heart eyes paired with that joyful smile. Tim for this moment (not the rest of this ep) is once again 10/10 for her. Commemorating her takedown of Jeff Budny. Saw an excellent parallel between this and 2x12. About Tim giving back things that saved her life for him. My damn heart. I’m fine….

Tim continues on to say it was to memorialize the radio that saved her life. So grateful to that radio for taking the hit it did. I remember thinking how that radio represented her communication problems. Little did I know it would soon represent Tim’s as well. The irony of this gift will hit us painfully hard later in this episode. Having watched rest of the season as well it represents their’s as a couple too. *sigh*

Anyways we get a SECOND kiss in this moment. That’s how I knew it was coming like a freight train at us. We got cuteness, flirtation, banter and two kisses in one scene. They were setting us up for a very hurtful fall. They just look like two happy idiots in love. *dreamy sigh* I wanna die it’s so precious. They fall back into each other for this second kiss.

The look in Lucy’s eyes ready to thank him for this radio. Not with dinner but some sexy times. That kiss before it’s interrupted looked like it was headed for the bedroom. Dinner be damned at that point. The way Tim is leaning heavily into that kiss too. Ready to go in for more. His patented first kiss need an immediate second one well underway. Phew lord. He was more than ready to receive that thanks LOL

Sadly Tamara steps through the door. Doing what she does best. Be a wet blanket for their bedroom endeavors. I love her anyways though haha She instantly apologizes saying she forgot it was date night. Tim sighs as they pull apart and Lucy goes into mom mode after she hits Tim. haha It’s so cute. Little damn family up in here.

Tamara says she can hide in her room. Lucy replies that’s not necessary. That she can make a plate for her room if she’d like though. Then the scene takes a giant shift in tone. Tim receives the phone call that ruins our entire shipper lives. It sounds dramatic but it’s really not…Tim’s whole demeanor changes. Lucy is crazy intuitive to it. Her internal Tim radar going haywire. The tight way he replies and says he has to go.

Lucy wanting follow up questions. It’s the way she says. ‘Just wait.’ Not wanting him to go. *heart clutch* The sheer panic and worry developing in her soul and in ours. That gnawing unsettling feeling we feel through out the rest of the episode. Breaks my heart. She clearly spent the whole day waiting to be with him for their date night. Only to have him taken away with no answers. Lucy looks SHOOK as her entire heart walks out the door. It's written all over her face. His abrupt departure filling her with questions and worry. So it begins…

We see Tim pull up in his truck to the pre-arranged spot. A man comes out of his own car and enters in. I was on pins and needles waiting to see wtf this was about. Who the man was. Why he had the power to make Tim, basically run from date night with his girl. I knew in the back of my mind had to be his military past. Only thing I could think of to make him spook like this.

They shake hands when he gets into the truck. He thanks Tim for coming. Our boy replies he didn’t have a choice. If Ray is alive they have a big problem. The intrigue meter continued to grow. Who was this Ray? What problem did he present to them both? Tim looks like he’s seen a ghost when he’s shown Ray’s photo. He was supposed to have died in an air strike….He's been working as a gun for hire and came into LAX the day before.

Tim asks why he would come to L.A? Apparently his mom is dying of cancer. That’s who they’re staking out. It’s here we find out what the vow is. And it’s not a good one….Tim is not onboard for honoring this pact they made. To kill Ray if he ever resurfaced. To pay him back for the friends he killed. We see the conflict on Tim's face. How he doesn’t know how he’s gonna tackle this. Eric killing me softly early on in this one. His eyes alone scream so much emotion.

We see Lucy unable to sleep. In what I can only assume is Tim’s shirt. I think Melissa confirmed it was and thanked the fans for their keen eye. It’s the little things we love so much. Lucy is clearly missing him. So naturally she sleeps in a shirt of his. Also her DOD ring and her necklace are in plain view as well. Killing me softly. She can’t sleep because he’s supposed to be next to her. His consistent calming presence is missing and she can’t relax enough to rest.

Their date night was supposed to end with him asleep by her side. Not this. We can see the anxiety just seeping out of her. Don’t blame her one bit. No one knows that man better than her. From the second he took that phone call she knew. Deep in her gut that not only was something off but very very wrong. Her whole being emanating unease and concern. I feel you Lucy. The rapport and connection they’ve built over last 5 seasons coming in hot here.

Lucy looks sick to her stomach and it makes me wanna cry. The hurts so good is ever present in this scene. She is missing him and crazy worried. Her rampant anxiety is not letting her rest. My guess is other than 6x01 they’ve scarcely spent a night apart. The way he took off is scaring the shit out of her with good reason. So she tries to quell it with a phone call. Sadly she gets his VM. Her message to him makes my stomach sink more. Lucy is used to being his go to. She was left in the cold and her stress level is rising due to it.

Tim watches her call and VM come in. He looks pained at not being able to answer it. It’s the way he sighs and closes his eyes. It’s killing him to keep her at a distance. Eric out here trying to murder my feels with his superb acting. This truly begins the immense breakdown that is their communication. Lucy showed her hand at it before this ep in 6x04. Now it’s Tim’s turn at it. We had indications of it but s6 showed us how glaring it is. The cracks in their foundation were there. We just didn't want to see it. These are the issues Eric wanted to tackle.

Honestly when we're on the other side of this I'll be real grateful for it. Till then this just hurts. Now Tim’s communication probs are particularly glaring in these in this ep and the next. Pains me to write it but our boy has serious issues with stuff like this. You know he knows she is at home worried sick. That’s why he looks so pained. Tim knows her just as well as she does him. Very aware she is panicked and worried about where he is. If he’s ok. Absolutely killing him to keep her in the dark. To Tim right now he think's despite that it's the right call.

This is Tim Bradford so he thinks he’s doing it to protect her. To keep her from his dark past affecting her. If he distances himself and handles it solo it’ll be ok. Because he doesn’t need help. Wants shoulder this alone. Oh Timothy, my love you are so wrong. It pains me how wrong you are. His childhood issues screaming out in this decision. Which we will get into. That gif of Captain Holt's ‘Paaaaiiiin’ gif is fitting right here. *sad sigh*

Greer rejoins Tim in the truck with his recon. Tim is clearly uncomfortable with this whole thing. Weighing so many things at the moment. What he has to lose with any action they do. His soul is already so heavy with the past. It pains me to watch this. Tim is trying so hard to talk Mark out of this. Asking what they’re really going to do? What the point of all this really is? Noting them even talking about this is criminal conspiracy. Greer gas lights Tim this entire episode and I do not appreciate it.

Saying he can’t believe the ‘Reaper.’ is going soft on him. He is softer because of a wonderful woman named Lucy Chen. He’s in love with a person who is beautiful inside and out. One who has changed him so much. So yeah he’s softer now Greer. Also the first time I heard that nickname it made me fan myself. Is that wrong? lmao Idk if it is but I found it insanely attractive. I probably shouldn’t haha But here we are. With me still finding that service nickname sexy. I am who I am. Tim says he isn’t soft. He’s only thinking of what’s at risk here.

They can’t be committing murder, because of a pact that was made years and years ago. I love Tim’s line about they made it in the anger and fog of war. No doubt, with his nickname alone, we can see how angry Tim was going into the service. How could he not be? He came from a household where his emotions were suppressed heavily. So there is zero doubt in my mind he went into the service full of anger. Not only angry but loyal af as we know. That combination alone would result in this pact/vow being made.

Tim is almost reflecting on how much he has grown since that moment in time. There was a lot of talk about the ways Tim hasn’t changed following this episode. Hell even inside this ep with him keeping Lucy at bay. But he has. He changed so very much since Lucy came into his life. It’s why he brings up the lives they’ve built. The life he is currently building with his soulmate. The jobs they hold.

That angry young man doesn’t exist anymore. The one who would murder for his squad in retaliation. Now Tim still has that instinct in him. Don’t get me wrong; scorched earth for those who mess with his loved ones. But this? This situation puts the life he’s built at risk. Puts the love of his life at risk within the department. Unfortunately Tim is still loyal af and Greer uses that against him.

Gas lights him some more. Saying how they’ll never get to build lives because of Ray. Pulling on that thread of guilt that lives deep inside Tim's soul. Trying to reawaken a man that is long gone at this point. But is still loyal to a fault. Weighed down with enough tortured guilt to keep this going. I resent Mark for using it against him I really do. Friggin stunard...My Italian rage coming out for Greer.

It’s here we find out more about what went down between them all. Not only that but WHY him being around is such a damn problem for Tim/Mark. I would be remiss if I didn't note this. How much I am enjoying Tim in street clothes. Mmm nice and scruffy too. He is scruffy most of this season and I am here for it. He looks so good in that jacket it’s sinful. How can he make such a simple jacket so attractive? Yum. Ray asks what they’re doing here? Greer pipes in to bring him to justice. He asks for what?

Tim starts to list off the numerous reasons why. Going AWOL, faking his death, felony grand theft, stealing half million from the government. Just to name a few sweet lord… Then to top it off, he called in an air strike on his own guys when they came for him. Ugh. Real peach this one. That there wasn’t enough of Henderson and Coyle to fit in a shoe box….ooof. It’s here we find out what Ray has on them. That he read the after action report. That it didn’t read that way. Tim justifies it by saying it only reads that way so his wife and daughter got his death benefits.

Of course that’s the most Tim Bradford thing ever. ‘Some things matter more.’ Only breaking the rules if it’s for the greater good. We talk a lot about Lucy’s empathy but don’t sleep on Tim’s. It runs very very deep. This is proof it was a huge part of him before the Isabel trauma buried it and Lucy resurrected it. That being said this doesn’t look good at all for Tim. By bringing Ray in it endangers their service record and their current jobs. Because as kind as what they did was. It has consequences because they lied on an official government document. My stomach turned even farther with this scene.

Eric KILLS me in this portion. This man has no right making me this emotional. How has he not won any awards? His beautiful shimmering blue eyes cutting me deep. Eric is so expressive in just his eyes alone. But he gives this scene everything he’s got in his arsenal my god. They get away from Ray’s to talk. Tim immediately says they’re not killing him. It’s not happening. (Someone needs to capture this scene in gif form BTW) It's a crime there isn't one. Mark tries to appeal he’s dead anyways.

Tim won’t hear of it. Says it won’t matter when the nightmares come knocking. And we know he’s had those nightmares. Not just about the service but about 5x19. About the life he was forced to take. Tim says they need to just come clean about everything. They don’t have a choice. Greer fights him some more. Saying it’s just going to blow up their lives as a result. Tim tells him he won’t let that happen. He’ll take the fall for him. Ugh Tim no. You have a life that’ll get blown up too my love. A woman who would be devastated to watch this take you down.

There's a Lyric from a band I love. "A thousand scars betray me Oh, what's another one?" That is Tim in this moment. What's one more emotional scar? Better than Greer losing his life because of what he chose. Tim's integrity is one of my fav traits about him. It’s the one I relate to the most. Because I am the same way. It drives a lot of my decisions. He's so willing to fall on his sword because he bears the weight of that decision still. Mark pleads some more but Tim won’t have it. Says he can’t with tears in his eyes. (I'm fine....) He is not that hot headed young man anymore. Life has kicked him around and he’s seen things. This isn’t the path and he won’t let Greer take it.

Tim follows up with he won’t let him do it. Even if it’s without him. It’s here where Eric just rips my heart out with his performance. When Mark asks him if he would arrest him if he killed Ray? It’s the way his voice breaks. Tears threatening to fall when he chokes out ‘Yes.’ Rip my heart right out writers sweet lord. Greer says he’s out then. But I wanna deck him for his reply after that. He hangs all future crimes Ray does on Tim. I don’t curse very often in these. But how fucking dare you sir. How dare you put that on this man.

He is already riddled with so much guilt and shame. His soul is ten times heavier than it should be. Because Tim shoulders things deeply. Not only that he does it solo. A chunk of what weighs his soul down isn’t even his fault. Tim is a much deeper empath than he’s given credit for as I stated earlier. He absorbs the feelings and pain of those around him. Takes them in and never lets it go. It’s why he was and honestly still is so rigid as a cop. That iconic line ‘Rules matter boot.’ Was his PTSD in a line and we had no idea back in S2.

Because anytime this man has let his guard down to break the rules it’s hurt him. Mitch, Isabel and we now find out about this. Tim did the right thing and yet he’s paying the price not Ray. It’s the hitch in his breath as Mark takes off that’s the final emotional blow for me. I just want to hug him so much. The way he tries to catch his breath after he’s gone. Finally releasing all the emotions he was bottling up. You can see why he was wants to retreat to one person who will make him feel whole again. It’s why his next scene is with Lucy….

This scene we get to see Melissa shine along side Eric. Killing us softly with their angsty goodness. We watch the sheer amount of relief run across Lucy’s face. It's evident when she hears his keys in the door. The happy relief is fleeting though. Her opening line is salty af as it should be. ‘Oh good, you’re not dead.’ She is ready to rip into him and rightfully so. Hurts to watch but she has every damn right to. She kept it together for work. But now that he’s in front of her she doesn’t have to. Her sass turns into the anxiety and worry she’s gone through. Telling him that his sorry isn't good enough. (it’s not…)

Saying she spent the last THIRTY-SIX hours. (That's a day and a half Timothy...) Worried he was bleeding out in various landmarks all over the city. Ugh poor Lucy. That’s very taxing on your nervous system to be in that state of mind for that long. That’s way too long to go without communication. But this is pre-therapy Tim so...Communication isn’t his strong suit when he isn’t in fight or flight mode. One of my fav lines of the scene. ‘Telling me you’re alive is NOT optional.’ Hell no it's not. The hitch in her voice and tears in her eyes. Gah killing it Mel.

Trying to communicate clearly to him this behavior isn’t going to fly. Not ever. Rewatching this season, it pains me how many hints the writers gave us about their communication problems. Now Lucy is trying here. With telling him what he did was not ok in the least. She then asks what the hell is making him so crazy? Expecting him to tell her. Tim’s reply is vague and only serves to make her angrier. Especially when he says he’s doing it to protect her status at the station. She asks if he committed a crime?

The irony of this scene is that radio being prominently shown. How it was a happy thing 36 hours ago. Now it’s a symbol of their dysfunctional communication as a couple. Tim tells her no…Not technically. The fire continues to build in Lucy. Angrily retorting how it’s serious enough she could be disciplined for not reporting it then. Tim tries to do his protection line for her but it doesn’t land at all. The fire in her is raging at this point. She stands up and angrily asks what he’s doing here then? Tim is so taken aback by this. His reply breaks my heart. Stumbling over himself ‘I...I came to see you…’

To Tim it’s his default to go to her. When he’s upset or lost he goes to Lucy. Seeking her out like the sanctuary she’s always been for him. Has been for years. Even more so since they got together. Tim came to be near his comforter and happy place. Wanting her to envelop him in her arms and take his hurt away. Unfortunately my love, she can’t help or take away what she doesn’t know about. It’s why her hellfire continues on. Lucy absolutely obliterates him with her reply. 'To what? Order take in? Watch TV? Pretend like nothing is going on?' Tim so desperately wants to sink into solace he’s used to. But he won’t let himself tell her what's going on.

Thus denying himself the one thing he came here for. Her. Lucy (who is wearing the same blouse from 5x12 btw. Way to push the knife deeper writers) tells him if he’s not here to tell her to truth.... We pan back to Tim’s face. She can read him like a book and knows he’s not going to. She then tells him he’s needs to leave. My heart is on the floor at this point. I totally understand her drawing this boundary. I truly do. Lucy is trying to show him there are consequences to his actions. Holding him accountable. That he needs to communicate and trust her. Lucy wants him to see despite the ramifications she is there for him. Sadly Tim doesn’t see this hence her asking him to leave. My poor shipper heart.

To make matters worse Eric is personally attacking me with his teary eyes and hurt puppy dog expression. Had to get this gif in. Why? Because it beautifully captures the devastation of her sending him away. We haven’t seen him this visibly upset since 4x09. Except this time his person isn’t there to make his tears go away. She is the one causing them and sending him away. The range of emotions flitting across his face has me bawling my eyes out. The man deserves all the awards once again. The way his eyes convey so much. How utterly wrecked he is. It's written all over his expression.

Eric brought it so hard in this episode holy hell. Tim came to her seeking out the comfort of normalcy from her. As we all know our boy needs his routine and structure to stay sane. Lucy has become an intricate part of that. He sought out his girlfriend to stabilize himself. Sadly there was no comfort to be found for him. Gotta give to get my poor broken boy. As much as it’s frustrating to watch him do this I get it. As I said earlier he has the tendency to shoulder burdens alone. It’s how he has survived most of his life. Doesn't excuse it just explains it.

His childhood is a massive proponent of why he operates this way. He came from an abusive household as we all know. Where he had to turn off his emotions and learn not to ask for help. If he did it only served to further the abuse. Also it was looked upon as weak. Was seen as useless if you did. When that is ingrained in you at an early age it is so friggin hard to get rid of it. It's an instant default for him. It’s not something being loved properly just gets rid of. If anything it only makes it worse on some level. Because it means you something to lose as Tim does in Lucy.

To explain Tim’s side of it I need to give a little piece of me. I can relate because of what my mother did to me growing up. It’s something I fight to this very day. I hope one day it’ll be easier and less of a deep grove in my brain I go to. Most of my childhood as I’ve shared was full of emotional abuse. My mom didn’t like it if you spoke your mind or messed up in any way. If you did you got the silent treatment for weeks on end. I wish I was kidding. She once went three weeks without speaking to me as a kid. Pretending like I didn’t exist. Felt like I didn’t have a mother. As I got older her default punishment only got worse. When I went to college my baby sister got engaged couple years in.

To a wonderful man. They're still married and happy btw. But my mother could see herself losing her control over my sister. Told me to pick between her and my baby sister. The choice was easy. I picked my sister. She then abandoned me and didn’t speak to me for 18 months after that. Her doing that made me feel like, whenever I stand up for myself or make a mistake with someone I love, I’m going to be abandoned. I just recently got into a fight with said sister. I had that exact same panic after I stood up for myself thinking she was going to discard me. She has proven time and again that’s not true. It’ll never be true. My sister and her husband have always made room for me in their lives here in CO. Made me feel loved unconditionally.

The same will be true when I join them in TN when I move. And yet that deep ingrained thought that she would abandon me still appeared. Worried that because I had stood up for myself she would do what my mom did. She didn’t cause loves me. But I’m still not used to the idea of unconditional love. It’s hard to grasp when you’ve never really had it before. So this is where I related to Tim so hard and defaulting to doing this alone. I’m in my 30s and this still affects me deeply even with therapy. Tim is pre-therapy and not seeing the unconditional love Lucy has for him. Which is a precursor for 6x06 honestly. You could have the best human in the world loving you and still not accept it or understand that you even have it.

Tim doesn’t know how to ask for help and to see Lucy would love him through his mistakes. He’s protecting her but also himself in this moment. Because he’s ashamed of what he’s involved in. That she won’t love him anymore due to his past sins. So he’s keeping her at a distance from him. Thinking it’s protecting her from his toxic past. But also protecting him from losing her as well. This scene, sadly, is the result of many miscommunications since they started boiling up and over. A gradual escalation toward breaking apart. This was a incredibly hard scene to stomach and watch. Lucy is vibrating with how upset she is when he says ‘Understood’ and leaves. Un-break my heart you guys.

Another banger of a song running through this final scene. The songs always hit and work so well with the tempo of a scene. It’s ’Teeth.’ By mallrat. Have a whole playlist of songs from this show I love it. We see Lucy looking at her phone fighting the urge to call Tim. Despite their epic fight she misses him. It clearly shows. Tamara brings her out of her thoughts by plopping on the couch. Asking her what she's doing?I adore her saying she is going to be a good girlfriend. Trust her man. *heart damn clutch* HER MAN. It’s the little morsel we all needed after that heated argument of insane pain.

I am most grateful for Tamara in this moment. Wanted to shove her out the door in the opening scene though. LOL Nolan is such a failure to be there for Lucy earlier in the ep. Where as Tamara is clutch af in this moment. She is emotional support while Lucy goes through this. Talks it out with her. Tamara asks if she’s heard anything? Lucy tells her about their heated fight last night. That it’s been their only contact….That Tim just stood there. Lucy seems so at a loss and it hurts my heart.

Tamara makes her laugh and says they should put a tracker in his truck lmao Lucy calling her out for being a bad influence. Tamara follows up that No, she’s just a really good teacher. Lucy is floored replying what? Wasn't able to fit this in but her lessons learned are hilarious. No coffee in gun hand and head on a swivel. The swivel part had me laughing so hard. What a goober. I love them. Just the levity Lucy needed. I need more of them in S7.

We pan back to Tim in his truck. Longingly looking at his phone. Specifically at Lucy’s contact page. He is breaking on the inside without her and yet can’t force himself to let her in. Also would’ve killed me if it had a pic of Lucy or of them. I would’ve legit died of happiness. What a missed opportunity writers. He is missing her so much and is dying to reach out. Wants her by his side but can’t overcome his wiring to do so.

His default is to go to her. To talk to her. Once again just another look into their broken communication. When one stops so does the other and it goes to shit. They are partners in every sense of the word except for their communication. They were stellar at that with work. It blows my mind how quickly that broke down when they got together. They had something extra special to lose when they did though. *sigh* s7 you have work to do.

We see Tim refocus his sights on Ray. Tasked with the mantle Mark Greer thrust upon him. He’s now on a crusade to catch him before Tim has anything else to add to his soul…. Phew this was an emotionally draining one to get though and it’s not even the harder of two. Phew lord. Thank you to every single one of you reading these, liking them, reblogging or commenting (love me some comments don’t be shy) they mean the world to me. I shall see you all in 6x06 where can sob together. ❤️

Side notes-non chenford

All the Aaron and Blair scenes are so icky knowing her endstory. Bleh.

Beauty of rewatching I can skip all the Nolan content. Snoozeville again.

Smitty only hanging out in therapy office for snacks lmao Needed in a tense episode

Lucy’s crack about asking Celina To Aaron. Lmao. Commend our girl for cracking jokes and keeping her shit together on shift.

Nolan is absolutely useless when Lucy comes to him for help. Their friendship truly fell apart when Jackson died. Any rapport or connection shot to hell. He can’t read the utter panic she is in and I hate him for it. As useful as a paper hat in a rainstorm to keep you dry.

Also the lyrics used earlier from my fav bad RED. The lyrics ARE TIM. In this episode to a tee Here's the link https://genius.com/Red-cauterize-lyrics

[wholoveseggs]

Heeey, i know that the year is still not over but I’m genuinely curious what is your favorite fic that you wrote this year? 😄

You opened pandora's box with this question... lol. I started this blog in November 2023, and somehow, I’ve managed to write over 100 fics since then (holy shit ~ lmao). Picking just one favorite? That's tough. So here are my top twelve instead… though even narrowing it down to that was a challenge. (These are in no particular order, because I’m indecisive like that.) Also, fair warning... I’m in a yapping mood, so buckle up!

Phantom Desires

Inspired by Daemon being mentally tortured in Harrenhal in HOTD season two… This fic pushed me out of my comfort zone, It’s equally horny and spooky. There’s something so compelling about Daemon unravelling in a place that feels alive with grief and malice, and this fic gave me the perfect chance to delve into his loneliness, guilt, and desperate need for connection. And honestly? Daemon deserved every bit of it.

Ride the Sky

A request from my beloved @elijahstwink !! This idea was such a fun challenge. Even though I'm writing about a fantasy show with literal dragons, magic and shit... I couldn't quite reckon the idea of having actual sex on dragonback in the sky lol. Something about that seemed unrealistic (I know, I know, I'm writing about DRAGONS, but you know what I mean) Anyways, it was a delight to write. Fun fact: the title comes from a song by lightning bolt, and I imagine it's what is playing in Daemon's head when he is up to no good.

Truth or Dare

I had so much fun writing this one! It’s chaotic, awkward, and wholesome all at once, which made it an absolute joy to create. I love writing about parties… the energy, the drama, and all the ridiculous little moments that come with them. The truth or dare game was probably my favorite part to write, coming up with the dares and imagining the character reactions had me giggling the entire time. And, of course, building the tension with Elijah gave the story that little spark of sweetness I couldn’t resist. It’s by far my favorite first-time story I've written.

Indulgences (Series)

This series is heavily inspired by Wicked Games by The Weeknd (And I mean HEAVILY - I stole the ideas from that song and turned it into plot ~lol). I remember thinking Elijah would totally be the sad guy at the strip club, and the rest snowballed from there. It’s wild, sexy, dangerous, and heartbreaking, but also deeply personal for me. As someone who is a perpetual recovering addict, I poured a lot of my own experiences into this story.. especially the numbness that comes with addiction and the feeling of being trapped in a cycle you can’t escape.

Some readers commented that they wished the reader stayed with Elijah in the end, but that was never the answer for this story. Staying would have meant going from one violent life to another (not that Elijah would be violent toward her, but his life is inherently violent). Breaking the cycle isn’t just about leaving toxic elements behind; sometimes, true healing requires sacrificing even the good things.

Bloodbath

It's the first fic I ever wrote (and the third one I ever posted). I’m so proud of that dumb title and tagline (not even Elijah can defeat the immortal evil that is Aunt Flo). I remember posting it, and it had zero interactions for days. I worried that my sense of humor was not translating the way I wanted... Perhaps the title was a bit extreme and that a vampire eating you out on your period was a bit too niche. But you know what? This one isn't for anyone but me, and it has a special place in my heart.

A Date with Klaus

When I came up with the idea of Klaus leaving you flirty little sketches, I was absolutely giggling and kicking my feet like a teenager. It’s pure, unfiltered wish fulfillment with just the right amount of spice. Honestly, the idea of Klaus being an ass man just feels like universal law…I don’t make the rules, I just write them.

Strings

Often, I write the reader to be nothing like me... but with this one, I was projecting hardddd. The push-pull dynamic, the fear of vulnerability, and the emotional walls the reader builds? Yeah, that’s me (I’m also a sloppy drunk). This may or may not be based on a true story lmao. Writing it was cathartic, though...it let me process a lot of my own struggles with letting people in (I’m still bad at it)

Hold

Elijah is all about finding solutions to problems, and this horny af fic is the perfect example of that. The mix of intimacy, his total control, and his ability to completely unravel the reader is everything I adore about this character. It’s equal parts sweet and scorching, and writing this was such a dreammmm.

Decadence

This request had me so excited (hi, I'm a retired goth girl myself ~lol) There’s something so perfect about Elijah falling for this gothy reader. The dark aesthetic, the shared love of the macabre, and their mutual appreciation for art and culture made this such a dream to write. Weaving their dynamic into that decadent mix of gothic romance and feral passion was everythingggg. 

Rules (Series)

I love the love for this series! The concept had been floating around in my head for ages, and I never anticipated the overwhelming passion it would spark. The way everyone engaged with the story was beyond anything I could’ve imagined, and the comments on the final part had me absolutely cackling. (You created the monster in me lol)

Extraordinary (Series - this includes Magnificent and Ménage a Quatre)

It’s okay to love them all, I did. I do. And the stupid titles for this series still make me laugh. I would not survive marathon sex with multiple immortal vampires, but it sure is fun to write about. It’s silly, hot, borderline ridiculous, and I fucking love it.

Warmth (Series - but specifically Part Two)

The first series I ever made, and it still makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. I remember being so terrified to post it, agonising over every word, stressing about whether the gif matched the vibe, and second-guessing if I was putting too much of my own personal tastes with the Nirvana references. I kept thinking…“What am I doing out here writing vampire smut? Would Elijah even like grunge? probably not lol” And look at me now… lmao. This one will always have a special place in my heart because it reminds me how far I’ve come. Re-reading it feels like reconnecting with an old friend... it’s a long hug, a warm cup of hot chocolate, and a big bowl of delicious pasta all rolled into one. It’s pure comfort.

Whoops… that got a little personal... But if I absolutely had to choose my favorite, its a toss up between Bloodbath (my beloved underdog) or Indulgences (my therapy session)

I hope you enjoyed reading these as much as I loved writing them. Each one holds a special little place in my heart. Please, please tell me what your favorites are (it feeds me)

[doki-doki-imagines]

Synopsis: Your posts don’t show up in the tags and it annoys you endlessly, your boyfriend thinks you are really dumb.

Inspired by what is happening to me right now, I think the health of my stomach is way more important than my dumb stuff showing up, my brain is settled, but my body isn’t. Anyway I only choose characters that I think would “bully” you in this situation LOL. So I wrote this because my brattiness won't make me accept the situation, if this doesn't show up I'll laugh a lot btw

Slightly suggestive

Feat. Sae Itoshi, Tabito Karasu

If years ago someone told Sae that he would end up with an idiot of your caliber he would just have scoffed and told them to “fuck off”. Too bad fate had other plans for him, that’s why he finds himself in the living room, with his partner all curled up on his sofa, half-crying half-pissed off because a post of theirs doesn’t show up in the tags.

One of those posts for fictional men moreover. One of those where the reader do something romantic, if not pure smut, with a fictional man.

The idea of throwing you out of his house really tickles his brain, but your long face and teary eyes are pulling the strings of his heart and he really can’t bring himself to do it.

“Dumbass instead of crying over a fictional man shouldn’t you spend time with your real and talented boyfriend?” Annoyance drips from his voice like venom.

“I know! I’m just frustrated okay? It’s like doing good dribbles, but then always getting blocked by a defender. Easier to understand?”

It would have been if only you didn’t sob every 5 seconds, plus Sae can’t avert his eyes from the snot running down your nose making you look even more pathetic.

The gears in Sae’s brain start moving and soon his body follows, that’s how you found your nose roughly cleaned, in typical Itoshi fashion, eyes puffy, but with no tears, and Sae jacket on your shoulder.

“Why are you looking at me like a dumb fish? Move your fat ass I’m gonna take you to that new burger restaurant, I don’t take ‘no’ for an answer.”

He is already out of the door when you run to him, attracted to Sae like a moth to light.

Sae knows pretty well frustration, the pain in the stomach when things don’t work as you wish to, but he also knows best how to deal with it; by trying to fill your mind with other activities. Maybe now is the burger and how tasty it is and maybe later your mind will be filled with the taste of his tongue down your throat in the backseat of his car, all the attention on him; “rightfully so” he thinks.

He shouldn’t be jealous of fictional men, he really shouldn’t. It’s what Tabito keeps repeating to himself, but why is he!? He knows the point is that nobody can’t see what you’ve written about those guys and not that you’d rather read than spend time with him, but he’s getting livid every second that goes by. Tabito even contacted the assistence to help with your post, but nothing, it just won’t show up and he doesn’t know what’s worse: your sad face with tears staining your desk or his jealousy, anyway they are both making his heart ache.

“Why do you care so much about this! It should be a hobby, probably nobody cares about what you write anyway!” No – shit, fuck he didn’t want to be so mean.

Tabito doesn’t need to look at your face to understand that he went a bit too far. Your lips wobble ready to let out a sigh, and damn he wishes he could turn them into a smile, but he just stutters

“I’m sorry darling I was too-“ then a ding, you both turn to the light source

You look at your smartphone. Your post finally is showing up.

Screams, tears of joy, you throw yourself on Tabito, the chair he is sitting on tilting back, but not enough to make both of you fall. Fucking finally the God up there took pity on the both of you.

“I’m so happy for you”

“Really? You were pretty nasty about this before, crow boy” you sing sang, sitting now on his thighs, Tabito's pale face making you snicker.

“Will you forgive me?”

“Oh, my jealous boy…maybe if you kiss me-“

You can’t even finish the phrase that Tabito’s lips are on yours, the lips that make the butterflies in your stomach always go crazy, the lips that make you feel warm and loved like no one ever can.

“I don’t think one kiss will make me forget, I think I’ll need some more”

“Gladly” Tabito replies, voice already huskier than before.

Your sweet kisses are the only sound in the room, your post forgot, your mind only for that ass of your boyfriend

Finally

[snowfolly]

So I got to the Daylight Inn in BG3 today and I had Astarion in my squad, and as we were hanging out and chatting up Isobel after rescuing her from Marcus, I started hearing a male character singing really softly. I switch characters around to see if I can find them and BOOM I find out ot's Astarion singing softly to himself while idle. I couldn't quite make the lyrics out but he sounded a bit distant and sad...made me want to hug him again.

OH NO… little guy, that’s so cute ;A; I absolutely love this and really, really hope this triggers for me in (one of) my current pts!

I have heard audio of him humming before (and it was so flat- which is super endearing to me lol), BUT this ask made me have some big hcs and I had to write and draw some boys about it lol

-

I imagine that Astarion really, truly loves to sing, that he gets catchy tavern songs stuck in his head for days and goes about his business singing to himself. However, the other spawn would continuously tell him to never to do so in their presence because he can't hold a tune, what kind of elf can’t sing? And what in the names of all the gods did he have to sing about anyway? Besides the song of agony that Cazador made him sing…

By the time he ends up a tadfool in our favorite merry band of misfits he’s learned well not to dare let his discordant voice slip in front of other people. He has to be charming, he has to be pleasant so that they keep him around. And his song is not a pleasant one.

He can’t help himself though, he still hums and sings quietly as he strolls through the woods, when he’s reading or sewing, in times when he thinks he’s entirely by himself. But Tav, godsdamnit, Tav takes notice. 

Tav startles him one night, telling him that they recognize the tune that he’s humming and that it’s one of their favorites. Astarion’s pissed that they were listening in on him, but he’s more surprised that he isn’t shot down immediately, that he’s not met with expected snark for not being able to carry a tune in a bucket, but Tav doesn’t belittle him… which is odd.

In time Astarion still keeps his songs to himself around the rest of the party, but as he begins to trust Tav he finds himself becoming more and more relaxed with them. He realizes that he can be himself around them, well, whatever parts of himself still left to him at this point anyway.

But it was a novel concept, this acceptance, a concept he learned to greatly appreciate. And Tav seems pleased to see (and hear) him being comfortable with them, being happy. Tav cares for him.

Tav cares for him after no one had given a rats ass about him for two centuries. What a concept indeed.

So Astarion continues humming flatly and singing badly,  Tav joins him often and they belt out old folk songs or bawdy tavern numbers together on their long journey, making up colorful (and hilariously crass) new verses as they go. 

And he comes to realize that this, this time with Tav is what being close to a person is supposed to feel like.

That being put down and belittled for something that a person enjoys is not universal. 

That constantly being on guard is not normal.

That another person can actually bring him joy, and that caring for someone is... possible.

Tav says that they enjoy singing with him, that they could go on singing with him forever, that they love his song.

And would it be so bad to sing of love instead of sorrow? Would it be so bad to share his song with them for as long as time would allow? He wasn’t quite sure yet, it was all so new.

But as he walks with Tav, arm in arm, belting out a bawdy old ballad to the heavens and all unfortunate ears within a mile, he had to admit that the thought of forever was enticing.

-

Thank you so much for the ask! And sorry it took 5ever bc it inspired me to make a little Drabble and doodle :>

[bokettochild]

came back wrong sounds like a very wild thing

and maybe twi could have obedience? something about wolfie and training could be angsty.

If no one suggested that one for Wild, I wanted to do it anyways LOL

Since I already posted Day 4 elsewhere, I'll give you Day 16 personally <3

Rating: Teen

Wordcount: 8,047

Summary: Coming back changed the Hero of the Wilds, and he's known it for a while. he's not sure how much changed, although he's happy to let Zelda and Purah try and find out. He does know though that there's a certain sort of power that lurks under his skin now, one capable of many things, but it comes with one great disadvantage: he doesn't know how to make it stop once he's started to employ it.

(This is set in the Inner Hero AU, so there are references to the other fics of that series, so consider this your warning!)

-

  It’s no great secret to anyone in Hyrule that there’s something Wrong with their hero. Since the shrine of resurrection, he isn’t what those who once knew him remember, and even those who’d never met the him from Before can sense that their hero isn’t exactly like the rest of them. Most of them accept that oddness as just another quirk or some such, just something intrinsic to Link, the weird kid who wanders the kingdom and somehow is also the hero that defeated the Calamity. 

  The Zora accepted it as a change brought by time, much as their own selves have all become altered in the hundred years since last they saw him. Maybe they know too; maybe they’re just too polite to say, but they never fuss about it. 

  Zelda knows though. She’s told him plainly that she knows he’s not what he used to be. He’s still him, she assures, because she knows the smile he spares for his mounts and recognizes the little habits he’d never have suspected she’d caught before the Calamity occurred. He’s still him, she says, but he’s More now too. 

  He came back different. 

  Purah and Zelda have looked into it, with his permission. He's sat and watched his girls sit with their head’s together over tests and papers and results as they try to understand how he’d changed. It’s nice, in a way. He's not very involved and, in many ways, he feels as though they forget at times that he’s able to hear them and the clinical way they refer to their study of him, but it’s not with any ill intent that they do so. In fact, it’s sort of nice to slip into the background of their minds and watch them at their most natural, see their bright smiles and hear them talk over each other and cut each other off in their excitement as they come to similar conclusions 

  He treasures the time spent up at the tower above Hateno, He treasures the time where he can simply exist as he is beside those he cares about, watching them bustle about doing what they love while he can finally rest in peace, knowing that his work is done, that nothing calls him out and that he can linger there as long as he pleases, without guilt. He can see what he was denied; Zelda’s joy, her eagerness, her freedom, and enjoy his own as well. 

  It’s good. 

  Returning to the rest of the world though, he’s always reminded again of how illy he fits among them. Magic has faded from the land of Hyrule, but he is steeped in it. Those around him walk with only the slightest bit of the power of heaven in their veins, yet his body overflows with magic that seeps out of the cracks left by his death. Zelda has compared him to the broken pottery he leaves across the kingdom, cracked and damaged by his adventure, and from those cracks, the power that twisted up with his own to bring him back from the brink now ekes out into the world, twisting and strange. Hylians aren’t meant to understand the feeling of Death’s touch, she says, eyes solemn and wary, lip pulled between her teeth as she’ll scan his face for signs of pain or sadness at her words. He knows she means well to do so, but he understands, and there’s really no need to be sad over such a thing. 

 He’s not normal, but it’s not their fault, and as they still accept him, still treat him with kindness, he feels little hurt for the changes that occurred to bring him to their sides. It’s a sacrifice he’d make again, even knowing what it will do. Watching Hyrule flourish in the wake of the Calamity, watching their victory paint the world anew in life and prosperity for their people, it’s worth dying and being pieced together again for, even if what holds his once drifting soul to his broken body is a magic no one can explain to him. 

  Life is good as long as he learns to hold back the worst of the magic, keep it tamed and keep his temper in check, which is hardly any struggle around most people. There are a few, certain people who drive him crazy and make him want very much to do things a hero ought not, but he holds himself back, and when Zelda really wants him to test himself, to see how much he can restrain the twisting Thing that has become part of him, she’ll challenge him to deal with those people. Really, they make it a game, so even if those people do drive him mad, seeing Zelda beam and mumble to herself at what they’ve learned from such encounters makes it worth it. 

  For her, he’d do anything. After all, he’s already died for her, what worse is there? 

  Well, as it would seem, leaving her behind for the sake of undertaking a new journey is worse. She’s happy in Hateno, capable of defending herself with both her magic and the archery her family is renowned for across the ages. She’s not as good as he is with a bow, but it’s a near thing, and he has no doubt that one more trip to Rito village, one more study session with Tulin and Teba, is all it will take before his princess can out-do him with his own preferred weapon.  

  Even knowing she can handle herself just fine doesn’t make leaving her behind any easier though. He’s still not sure how he’d managed, but he had. He had and he’d stumbled across the other heroes, joining them in their quest. It’s not perfect, not by any means, they’ve found peace in their new team. While there’s still some settling and sifting to be done before they click together like a real team, they are getting there. 

  He may have thrown a wrench in that process though. 

  See, since meeting the heroes, his magic has been rather well behaved. None of them rub him the wrong way, and while he isn’t exactly friendly with them all, they’re not the sort of people who push his boundaries or upset him either. He can co-exist beside them, and in many ways they remind him of the champions. He’s not sure how Time would feel knowing that in many ways he makes the cook think of Chief Urbosa, but he thinks Twilight might get a laugh out of being compared to Daruk. Of course, not everyone has similarities to the champions; Warriors isn’t like anyone he’s met before and he doubts he’ll ever meet anyone like him again, but it’s there for the rest. It's mostly just small things; they are, after all, their own persons, but finding something familiar to define them with makes approaching and working beside them easier. Four possesses the same quiet strength as Riju, Legend the certainty and experience of Teba, and Sidon’s wit and charm peeks through the traveler’s smile at times. Using what he knows about other people, about those he knew before, he can navigate the group with some decency. There's hiccups and there’s snags, but fortunately, they rarely if ever involve him, and never his magic. 

  Until now. 

  He sits back and tries to learn when he finally realizes that the others have magic spilling out from their cracks as well. Warriors is fire and Twilight is rich earth, Somehow, Legend is the force that quiets both, and despite a harsh outwards demeanor, the man holds a surprising amount of sway over the group as a whole. 

  In many ways, Legend reminds him of the Zelda from Before. There’s a potential for something bright and warm and rambling, something that would flourish if left alone and free to its own will, but like his princess, the vet restrains it for some reason or another. Duty drove Zelda, and he thinks something similar leads the vet, because no other factor has yet appeared. It’s there though, that warmth and light, mixed with a strength that is regarded and respected even if it isn’t followed. Legend is no leader, but his word has power, and they all listen to what he has to say in regards to what it is that they face. Not only that, but the vet’s magic is a twisting, free thing that is embraced and clung to by those in their gathering. 

  Warriors and Twilight seek its peace, and Sky urges it forwards with bright smiles and open arms as he somehow slips past the thorns of trailing magic to get at the hidden blossoms beneath. Time, in his own way, accepts it, although he does little with it. Wind seeks it, and Hyrule, whether the traveler seems to realize it or not, has tuned himself to it.  

  Wild may be clueless as to how people work normally, but he can understand magic. He can see how Hyrule’s flickering and dancing light embraces the magic of the veteran, and while he doesn’t grasp where the older ones do, he does linger and bask in it. 

  Wild doesn’t blame him. Legend’s magic feels like safety, like the goddess statues across Hyrule, the ones that quiet his soul and the twisting of his mind to grant him peace and rest even when he’s at his worst. Hylia, they say, is a goddess of Life, so it’s natural that her light would ease or even erase the darkness of Death. He's not sure how Legend’s magic echos that of the goddess, like the moon reflecting the suns rays even once the bright star has faded from view, but he welcomes that warmth and light all the same. 

 Losing that light affects them all. They are, after all, all beings of light, so losing the source that travels with them, having it snuffed out or hidden, leaves all antsy and ill at ease, and he doesn’t blame them. He still doesn’t appreciate Hyrule’s approach to fixing it though. 

  They’d talked, and maybe he'd let his own worries and insecurities spill over. Maybe he’d not correctly portrayed what he thinks he’d seen in the face of their brother when the vet had had Claims explained to him, but what really bothers him is how quickly his words were cast aside, how quickly Hyrule had returned to twining his magic with Legend’s own, laughing and chatting like nothing had happened and he hadn’t tried to tie down a ray of light itself. 

  He’s seen people try to tame light, bend it to their will and force it to linger rather than shine over the world as intended. His princess was never meant to stay locked in a castle, hidden in dark rooms to pray for power she wasn’t allowed to seek on her own terms; to find within herself what had always been. Seeing her free now, riding where she will and doing what she wants, he sees that light realized, knows the same could be found if Legend is allowed to do the same, as he’s expressed wanting. Light doesn’t belong to anyone after all, but to everyone, although they can’t hold it or keep it. Legend feels the same, at least with their group, and he wishes Hyrule would understand that. 

  The problem is, he’s not sure how to talk to vet about it. 

  Twilight, Warriors, Sky and Hyrule all feel free to approach, but Wild has never had anything with which to connect himself to the vet, no foundation for a friendship. They're such different people, and he’s not so blind as to have missed how the vet recoils when his own magic flares and hisses along the edges of the others in camp. His magic, the twisting, festering, darkness of it, entwines with Zelda’s like second nature, both dimming each other to the point of being null. In contrast, he lacks the familiarity with the vet to do the same, and instead, Life’s light flickers and hides when he loses control of the darkness of Death. 

  He wishes it wasn’t so, but it is. 

  How does fire that burns and earth that tends to smother have such a way to twist up with light, yet the un-named otherness of his own soul can’t find a harmony of its own? 

  “Wild, hey, focus.” 

  He shakes himself, staring up at Twilight where the other is standing next to him with a worried look on his face. “Huh?” 

  “You good?” The rancher asks, “you drifted out again.” 

  It wasn’t a memory, but it strikes him that he has, in fact, been sitting here unmoving for the last twenty minutes or so, and that’s probably just a bit worrying to the others. “Yeah, just lost in my head.” 

 The man frowns, settling himself down slowly on the loam underfoot so he’s sitting at Wild’s side, dark stare searching over him as though for an injury of some kind. “Anything on your mind?” 

  Does he tell? He can’t help the way his eyes drift to where the vet and captain sit back to back by the fire, Hyrule so close his knees are almost touching the vet’s as they face each other and chat, busy at work with their sewing and magic even as the captain writes what’s probably a report to his princess. They look at peace, somehow already over the latest hiccup of their group and already resettling into place as though it never happened, as though the subject of Claims never came up at all. How can do they do it? 

  He shakes his head. “Just thinking is all.” The doubt on the face of the other is soothed with a smile, dark gaze softening at the sight of flashing teeth. “Not memories or anything, I promise.” 

  “If you’re sure...” 

  “I am,” he says again, chuckling slightly for extra good measure. “At worst, I’m a bit homesick, at best, just confused, and considering this is me,” he laughs again, watches the face of his brother relax into one of those easy smiles they are al so used to, “I’m pretty sure that’s just normal.” 

  A heavy hand claps down on his shoulder, squeezing slightly, and despite the lingering concern in the rancher’s face, he is smiling. “If you’re sure. Remember though, pup, I’m here if ya need me.” 

  “I know.” He smiles in return, but beneath, his magic seethes just a bit. Twilight is great, Twilight is amazing, Twilight is there if he needs something and always offers a shoulder to lean on, and he’s incredibly thankful for that. But the rancher is also against the idea of using most magics, and despite the fact that he knows Twilight would never resent them for their own use of the stuff, his choice being personal preference rather than a hard belief about it in general, it does still mean he’s rather...ignorant, at least when it comes to magic. He can’t help here, and he probably wouldn’t even understand half of what Wild would need to explain. No, because unlike certain people, he doesn’t have a mastery for teaching. Good grief, he wishes Zelda was here, or even Purah, they could explain this mess to him, and maybe help him find a solution. He’s good at fighting and exploring and making things, not magic. He’s not qualified for all of this! 

  At the other side of camp, he sees Wind sit up abruptly, eyes scanning the world around him, wary. He's not the only one either, for Warriors is grabbing his sword as he scans the trees, Legend’s ears are flicking about, seeking something. He doesn’t feel or see or hear anything though, and it’s only when he sees the fiery glow of Hyrule’s gaze on him that he realizes he’s lost control again. 

  His magic really doesn’t do any of them any favors, does it? 

  He needs to gather it up again and tuck it away in a neat little box, watch guards relax again as the heroes puzzle at the sudden disappearance of whatever they’d felt or thought they’d sensed. Warriors gets up and starts patrolling the camp, leaving his own magic twisting here and there, like a spider casting a web, but predictably, he finds nothing to indicate that they are in any danger, even after he and Twilight have checked the forest around them. 

  Honestly, the longer they look, the more he wants to shrink in on himself and just... bang his head against a tree or something. 

  He feels like a threat to those he cares about, and they have no idea, because they don’t know it’s him that makes them jump to an alert and drop what they’re doing to instead prepare for a fight. 

  It’s worse in a fight though. 

  The next time they’re on a battlefield, Warriors leading the charge with Time and Sky, Legend and Four covering their asses and darting around the field to take out the threats that creep up upon the others, it slips loose. The problem is that it’s his monsters they’re fighting, recognizable by the fact that they’re not nearly as horrific to look at as the creatures from nearly all the others’ eras. He knows them, and they know him, and its sort of his habit when fighting in his own world, where the likelihood of other people being around is basically null, to just... let go. 

  Magic surges around him, a twisting, snapping thing that creeps and twists and twines over and around the enemies, driving them into a state of frenzy at the threat of something, something that their senses can’t pick up, but their souls can feel all the same; feel creeping over them, ready to snatch, to grab, to destroy. Death is scary to the creatures that aren’t familiar with its touch, and even those that act as it’s messengers tremble when the focus of Death is turned from their prey and onto themselves. The bokoblins run about attacking anything that moves, including each other, and it makes sweeping in and slaying them so much easier than if he was just fighting like the others do. 

  It helps that the monsters have come to know to associate the creeping presence of Death with his face, and they know, even before his sword slips across their throats or through their chests, exactly what’s coming. The ones that have met him before, brought back by red moons and dark malice, only fear it more with experience, and it’s sort of...satisfying, unleashing it all and watching the enemy panic, half knowing what’s coming to them and the other half unaware but just as panicked. 

  Once they’ve all fallen though, there’s always one little problem, one he’d sort of forgotten about. 

  “What the heck is this?” It’s Legend calling out, eyes wide, stance wide, sword gripped in one hand and fire rod in the other as his gaze flicks across the field; searching, looking.  Similarly, Warriors is staring about with that glinting look in his eyes, teeth bared, and ears pricked back, a dragon ready to surge out and rip something apart the moment it reveals itself. All the heroes are still looking about for the final threat, and Wild- 

  Wild can’t control the magic. 

  It happens, sometimes. If he leans into his magic, he can’t tame it so easily. It’s like a particularly eager stallion; plunging ahead no matter how he leans back in the saddle or tries to turn the creature off course, turn it, slow it, circle until its energy dies and it listens to him again. Magic isn’t an animal he can slow down though, and despite their efforts, neither he nor Zelda have found a way for him to get it under control by himself. They just have to wait until it calms of its own accord, for now. Purah said she’d try and help him find a way to control it, since it’s his, it's part of him, so reasonably he should be able to control it, just like a limb, a muscle, another part of himself physically. Zelda says it’s because it’s still new, still unfamiliar, still something he’s adapting to, so he’s still learning how it’s part of him, like a pup discovering its own wagging tail, although far less innocent because puppy tails don’t have everyone around you preparing to fend off a death blow. 

    Warriors snarls something he can’t make out, something that has the twisting darkness around them surging back in kind.  

  Wild isn’t trying to threaten, he swears. If anything, there’s something in the magic, in himself, that hears the dragon’s threat and eagerly bounces forwards in response. Now is not a good time though, in fact, it’s probably the worst of times. 

  Hyrule’s eyes are turned on him, harsh and just slightly scared, like they had been in the inn room. Still, the other hero darts to his side and, under his breath, unable to be heard by the others past their own panic, the traveler hisses at him. “Can it, champ.” 

  “I can’t,” he hisses back. He’s trying, but he’s fighting against a part of himself that he still can’t understand, and he’s not sure how to bind it back when it’s strong, only when it’s just beginning to peak out and is just the slightest of strains. Now it’s a howling force he can’t keep back, and all attempts are failing badly. 

  “Are you trying?” The embers in those eyes are flickering, but Hyrule’s voice isn’t harsh so much as straining, worried. The gaze of the traveler is trailing over the rest of their group, aware of their panic and doing his best to try and quell the source, but unwilling, Wild realizes, to reveal it. Hyrule has no interest in exposing him, just making him turn it off. 

  The problem though it he can’t. “Yes! It’s not working!” 

  Some very harsh words slip from the tongue of the other, but it’s not hylian. It’s not fae either, which he’d recognize, but something smoother and less lilting. Legend would know it, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t suppose it matters either. 

  Flames rise against his darkness, a raging force that shrieks and screams. Hyrule’s ears are pricked back as far as they can go, too many teeth glinting in the fading light of the setting sun, light that sets his face aglow as magic surges in a silent battle around them, one that has Warriors tensing, Twilight balking. Wild can feel the wings of the dragon flaring, the lash of the tail, can almost see the rise of the wolf’s hackles. There’s a crackling energy around their chosen hero, a surge of light from their vet, shields rising against the unseen threat, but Hyrule’s magic surging against his own, lashing and licking along the darkness in a roaring flame that reaches to consume and destroy, has his full attention. 

  He doesn’t try and fight it. Hyrule is pushing back what he can’t handle himself, but the boundaries thrown up around his own power, boxing it in and forcing it back, won’t last, and he knows it. The strain is clear on his brother. He’s not sure how strong his own magic is, but the color is draining out of the traveler’s face, his breath quickening as the whipping and shrieking of the fae’s magic pushes back against the hiss and shadow of Death, steadily pushing it back and bottling it up within some confines the traveler must have forged himself, because it’s not just tucked back into the spot within him that he usually pulls it from. The hand on Hyrule’s sword is turning white with the effort of actions unseen, but he sees the guards of the others lower, sees the strain flow out of their shoulders as, at long last, the magic is bottled up and away, still writhing and twitching, but unable to break free. 

  Honestly, it’s terrifying. He didn’t know Hyrule could do that. 

  The traveler sags beside him, breathing hard as he stumbles, but when he reaches out to catch his brother, Hyrule stumbles back. “No, just....” dark lashes flutter and Hyrule’s lips are slightly grey, “Don’t.” 

  So, he doesn’t. 

  Not too far away, Legend is creeping up into the space of their captain, voice low and wary, like he’s approaching a spooked animal, and like any other time in the past, the moment clarity returns to eyes the color of holy flame, Warriors is dropping his sword and grabbing ahold of his brother, hunching over him as Legend sighs and let’s himself be clutched close, huffing words the rest can’t hear but which have short little ears twitching slightly out of their pricked back position. 

  Similarly, Twilight is checking in with the rest, reaching to touch, to self-assure. Clapping Wind’s shoulder and brushing against Four. Time reaches out to the rancher first, but the touch lingers, both comforting each other and themselves before turning to Sky, who’s sheathing the Master Sword and happily accepts the worry of the others, assuring with a smile and a light nudge to Twilight’s shoulder, eyes bleeding warmth that Wild envies. None of them approach the captain, but Legend calls something to them, huffing and half laughing past the arms wrapped around him, an promise that all is well as his magic soothes twisting scales and quells flames. 

  The warmth of Life surges, like a balm, around all of them. Legend’s reach touching the rest even despite the fact that they seem as blind to his efforts as they had been to the source of their previous fear. 

  “You alright, boys?” Time asks, Twilight at his side as the both move to the sides of their wildlings. Their leader’s eyes linger on Hyrule, and when he reaches out, the traveler lets himself sag against the man’s touch. 

  Hyrule doesn’t like touch, Wild reminds himself, trying to excuse the denial he’d faced at a similar offer. Only Time seems exempt from that rule, and it’s probably only because of the fairy magic that lingers faintly over the other, the remains of an old Claim resting about the edges of his magic to mark him as something not quite fae, but treasured by them all the same. If the traveler reaches for that magic, he doesn’t say anything, and Time doesn’t seem to notice either. 

  “I’m okay,” he answers honestly. The worst effect his own magic had had on him was fear at not being able to control it; not the overwhelming terror that seemed to grip the others that they would fall victim to it. 

  Twilight’s eyes linger on him shortly, but drift away after, apparently accepting his words as truth and determining that the others, still shaken and, in Hyrule’s case, trembling with exhaustion, require his attention more. Still, the rancher grips his shoulder briefly in passing, assuring himself and offering brief comfort to the champion in the process. 

  It’s nice, but as he moves away, leaving their leader and his mentor to tend to the exhausted half-fae, he can’t help but watch the others. Specifically, his gaze trails to where Warriors is sagging against their vet, making the smaller man stumble with a cut off laugh as he pats broad shoulders, magic still twisting and entwining with flames as easily as though they’re naught but harmless air. 

  Life pours across the group of them, a heavy weight that settles across their shoulders with the grace and warmth of a cat climbing up to greet it’s master, its presence a comfort that he wants so bad to catch ahold of and nestle into, like he once had curled at the base of goddess statues when his own power wouldn’t quiet, letting the power of Hylia soothe him when he couldn’t do it himself. He wishes there was a goddess stature here too, because as much as Legend reflects that same power, his arms are rather full of their captain, and the hold of gloved hands in red fabric says that he won’t be free for at least a while more. Not that Wild could ask anyways. He and Legend aren’t close to begin with, asking for the same welcome as is granted to the dragon that has slowly been tamed to his brother’s presence isn’t realistic by any means. Still, it’s easier to hide the writhing presence bottled up by force when he’s slinking closer to the source of comfort in their camp, so if he settles closer to the vet and captain than he normally would that evening, after finishing with making dinner, well, Hyrule’s the only one who really seems to take notice. Warriors is distracted with teasing their sailor, and while Legend’s dark gaze lifts to greet him as he moves over, the man says nothing at his choice of seat, just keeps eating his dinner quietly. 

  Hyrule is staring, a warning look in those eyes when they’re on him, but worry when they turn to the veteran. He doesn’t say anything from where he’s slumped against Time though, across the fire and picking at his food. The traveler is exhausted, and reasonably so. The others don’t know why, so it’s natural that they’re worrying, and the cave dweller hasn’t elected to explain himself either, so they probably will continue to do so for a good while. 

  Despite the camp-fire between them, Hyrule’s magic, weak and tired, has still managed to entwine with the vet’s. Legend answers back with flickers of his own power to the embers that scatter themselves at his feet, assuring and fond, even if there’s confusion in the flicker of his ears, the twitch of his hands and the gaze of starlit violet that turns from time to time to meet faintly glowing embers. 

  Wild doesn’t dare try and sneak his own flickering, snapping power out to try and reach, knowing far too well what the reaction would be, but also wary of the escape of the still writhing power that surges against the wall of flames raised around it. 

  How Hyrule bottled back his strength, he doesn’t know, but it feels dangerously like a weak seal; like golden power meant to keep back evil. He isn’t sure of a lot right now, but the idea of that makes him uneasy and definitely bothers him. He’s not a monster or demon that needs restraining by holy power, but the fact that he’d failed to hold himself back enough that Hyrule would feel the need to take such measures at all is just as pressing a pain to his pride and soul as the action itself. 

  The magic holds though. His soul doesn’t creep and screech against that of the others after that. Doesn’t even surge when his emotions run hot. If anything, it thrashes within its confines, but it doesn’t escape to twist like a net around those he considers friends and brothers. Unfortunately, that also means that it doesn’t emerge when faced with enemies either. 

  The next time they’re in battle, this time against something Legend calls a ‘gleeok’ and which he desperately hopes will never appear in his own world, he somehow can’t summon his own magic at all. It’s there, he can feel it, but trying to bring it out, even just the smallest amount, proves to have no results. Every prod, every call, every little hiss of his soul to push and pull and just get his magic to respond, has it only thrashing more, wild within its confines but not breaking past them. 

  His sword plunges and stabs, and the heroes around him do the same. Warriors is a whirlwind of power and ferocity as he charges in head on, the vet’s magic raising in a shield and Hyrule’s own likewise surging across the field in strikes that leave their foe howling and screaming in anger, flames licking across the ground in response, but his own power can only beat at the bounds created around it. He can’t break them, but he’s trying. He’s trying and surging, biting his lip with focus to the point he knows there’s blood trailing across his face from his own efforts and not any wound dealt by the dragon like monster they’re pitted against, but it isn’t working. 

  He hisses as a tail rises up to thrash at him, drops and rolls to avoid the impact of it hitting him, all the time pushing at the seal on his own magic in a valiant attempt to summon it, only to still be met with no results. He could ask Hyrule, if the other wasn’t on the other side of the enemy and currently absorbed with trying to stop the head firing at him with flames that surge and lick around a magic shield thrown up at only the last of moments. Still, with the amount of effort it took to raise the seal on his power, he doesn’t know if the traveler could even summon the strength to undo that same work, not when he’s so busy currently trying to avoid getting killed. 

  It’s driving Wild mad though. 

  Before, he was the knight of the princess who had the power to topple an army of lynels. He'd lost some of that to Death, but in return had been granted something he’s used like second nature since, letting it ruin and destroy and tear apart and terrorize anything and everything that dared rise before him as he’d worked across the kingdom in an effort to rescue the one who’d called him back out of Death’s hold. He can’t control it once it’s free, but he’d at least been able to employ it before, and being without it in the first time in his memory has a fear he hates bubbling up from within, anger surging at the bonds of magic to snap and hiss and cry with a wildness he hadn’t known he possessed. 

  He wants free. He wants to unleash the wildness he’d been named for and let it at the very least leave their foe cowing, if only slightly, as the imminence of its own fate is made clear to it. 

  He can’t. 

  He can’t because Hyrule bottled it, and he hates that. 

  Not Hyrule. He doesn’t hate Hyrule. The traveler had done him a favor by rendering him tolerable for the others to be around again without leaving them straining themselves to understand the threat they’d felt slipping about them. What he hates is the bounds of the seal closing in around him like the walls of the shrine he’d woken within time and again, aching pains all over from half healed wounds that had been strained over and over by efforts to push free from a prison of stone. The shrine had felt as though it was closing in on him and keeping him sealed, leaving him only to awake and fight and pass out, water filling his lungs and straining his body as he’d tried to escape from his confines only to fail yet again.. He’d healed long before he’d escaped, and since letting on the truth to Purah (but not Zelda, he could never tell her about that), she’d started looking into why it had kept him so much longer, but so far, they have had no results. Still, the feeling of being trapped, sealed, shut off from his own strength, it drives him mad. There’s a writhing and snapping, a hiss and a scream, a howling of something in his soul as it tears at the bonds. 

  Slowly, they give way. 

  It’s like a dam breaking. Just a crack, then a hole, then the rest comes crumbling down and, from the other side of the battlefield, he hears Hyrule’s breath shudder, catches ember eyes rising, wide and terrified. And then he’s free. 

  His magic sweeps like a fierce current, a mighty wave, a shadow that plunges over the field and has the gleeok before them screaming, turning its heads for a source of the threat it feels, and thus missing the approach of the captain who’s own surging flames rise beside the shadows, a pulsing, pounding force as the man severs a head and sends it falling towards their waiting leader, who dispatches the thing before the creature can do more than cry out in pain. Writhing darkness twists, twining and trapping and sharing the feelings that only moments before had overwhelmed him; now wrapping themselves around their foe and leaving it frenzied and panicked as the rest of the heroes, despite their own obvious awareness of the new presence, surge forwards. 

  In a strange way, he thinks the flames and scales of the captain are surging stronger as well, pushing back with a hiss against his own magic, one he can’t help but respect, power surging away to let the older man take charge and wreak havoc on their foe while he focuses instead on keeping it on edge. The captain’s magic isn’t stronger than his, but it’s not something he has a wish to reckon with either, and like so many times before, he finds that even the twisting of Death finds something to admire in the lashing of the war hero’s own power. 

  Their foe falls quickly after that. 

  Once the gleeok lies dead, dissipating into black and purple smoke and leaving only the barest remains, he feels able to breathe again.  

  The others though, are not. Wariness marks their features, save Hyrule who looks so, so tired; desperate and weary as though the idea of trying to push back the force of their brother yet again, especially after it had somehow broken through his last attempt, is a far worse fight than the creature they’d just felled. In a way, Wild thinks it must be, because trying to push it down himself is far more a struggle than simply felling something tangible and mortal that fears it. 

  This time though, there’s a surge of another magic, a familiar one, one that pulses and creeps, seeking, against his own. It recoils, as if by instinct, but still presses back against his magic, not pushing so much as following, and light against crypt like darkness which has him looking up in time to catch the gaze of indigo eyes that have lifted to focus on him, sharp and piercing. 

  Legend’s breath shudders, lips pursing. He knows now. 

  Wild tries, tries so hard, to make his face do something, say anything to indicate that he’s sorry, he’s trying, he really isn’t doing this on purpose. It’s hard though when something warm curls up inside of him. It's not his magic, not the cold death touch he knows and has learned to view as an extension of himself. It’s a steady gleam of warmth, not harsh and burning like Hyrule’s, not fierce and violent like Warriors’, but a gleam of light rather than heat, one that curls around some innermost part of him, like it’s wrapping around his very heart. 

  Legend’s eyes glint curiously, stars blazing within. 

  The vet’s feet step towards him. 

  Hyrule whips around to stare, something on his lips and magic surging, throwing up walls and shields and warnings- protective, wary, guarded, begging. The urgency that flings itself at their vet has the other stumbling slightly, but not stopping. Their traveler looks like he wants to scream, ember gaze trailing between them, panicked, worried, wary. 

  Wild tries not to let it bother him. Hyrule is just worried for their vet, their light, his friend. If Zelda trailed into something he felt was a risk, something that made his senses recoil as violently as his power makes the others do, he’d feel the same way, he knows it. Still, the wariness of his brother isn’t helping anybody right now. 

  “Wild,” the same low, even tone that the man uses to ease Warriors own of his own head rises to play in his ears, “what’s going on?” 

  He opens his mouth to answer, but no words come to mind, just a panic, a wish to assure, to apologize. 

  The warmth curled around his core flickers. Light, pure, unaltered by death-touched power, presses around him. The vet steps closer and then, like stepping before a goddess statue, he feels the surge of his own magic quiet. The rest of the heroes ease, looking about in confusion for the threat they’d felt a moment before but there’s nothing there. Nothing that isn’t twisting and twining, muted by light that itself is dimmed to their senses in an echo of his own quieted power. 

  Hyrule is gaping. 

  Legend is just looking utterly confused, stopping only a pace or so away, ears flicking between a curious forwards tilt and a wary press back against his skull. Violet eyes search his own, flickering golden with power that’s familiar, that’s safe, that’s Hylia’s hand in a gentle caress to quiet his own soul and tame the Wrongness that came back binding him to the body that ought to have perished a hundred years ago. 

  The vet sighs, eyes slipping closed and shoulders sagging with the motion. “The heck, champ...” He doesn’t say anything more though, just raises dark eyes to stare, something crooked in the smile that’s offered to him, tired and weary but bright like the magic that pulls his own inwards again and eases it back where it belongs; nestled beside his heart and twining and twisting, crackling at the edges but not in ire as before. No, he reaches, and despite the twitch of the vet’s brows, the warmth of holy magic answers with a press that his own grasps and clings to. 

  He shouldn’t grab, try to grasp, shouldn’t set off the same ire that Warriors has triggered before, but with the alternate option being to scare the wits out of his brothers, he thinks Legend might understand. 

  “You good?” 

  He nods, and this time he actually means it. “Yeah.” 

  “Good,” Legend shakes his head, that weary little smile still on his face. “Honestly, you guys...” 

  “Sorry.” 

  “I should have seen it coming,” violet glimmer, twinkling oddly as they catch his own, the glow of the shrine still lingering in wild blue. “Just don’t make Wars and Twi lose their shit, ‘kay? I’m not keen on dealing with that again.” 

  He promises he won’t.  

  He doesn’t either. Yes, he trails after the vet as the other moves back to the rest of their group, but he’s wary of leaving the immediate presence of the power that quiets his own. Still, he doesn’t get in the way of their usual post battle arrangement. Doesn’t get in the way when Warriors drapes himself over the smaller hero with a huff, soul still seeking the presence it had felt before but finding naught of the force that surged alongside his own. He doesn’t deny Twilight’s wary check over as the man seeks injury among their group, or Time’s verbal call for them to report on their condition. 

  Injuries are treated, and camp is made. Hyrule’s eyes are burning into the back of his head, gaze confused and magic seeking, pushing, looking for that presence he’d strained so much to contain before, yet finding silence in it’s place. 

  He doesn’t stray far from Legend for the rest of the evening, but by morning, he’s got the courage to risk it, and it’s like he’d never released the terrible creature within to begin with. 

 Even so, all this doesn’t mean that, next time that they make camp, Legend doesn’t have questions. Ringed fingers catching his arm and the vet’s steady voice calling to Time that the two of them will do a quick round of the area to check for threats are his only warning before being dragged out of earshot of their brothers and having an answer demanded of him. Legend has questions, and while he doesn’t have answers for all of them, he does his best to give them. He owes that much after the trouble he’s caused. 

  The vet’s pinch of his brows, tired sigh and sinking shoulders are becoming quite familiar. “So, your magic is death-touched, and you scare the shit out of others with it.” 

  “Yeah.” 

  There’s something between a scoff and a laugh that puffs out from the chest of the other. “Dragons, wolves, fairies, now Death herself, good grief.” 

  “I’m sorry.” He’s not sure why, but he feels he ought to say it. 

  There’s the smile again, Legend’s shoulders shaking and pink hair swishing as he shakes his head once more. “Not your fault, champ. Magic’s screwy, and if there’s anything I'm learning with y’all, controlling it’s always a pain in the arse.” 

  Still, he feels awful for adding to the mess that the vet is already caught in. 

  “Okay,” a clap of the hands and a lifting of glittering stars to focus their light on him, “here’s the deal. Your magic quiets around holy magic. I have holy magic. You need it to shut up, you can come to me, but for the love of all holy, please, I am begging, do not mess with the captain, and whatever your beef with Hyrule is, don’t get me involved, deal?” 

  He blinks. “Deal. I wasn’t...I-” it takes a moment, but the vet waits, although his foot taps the ground as he does, nervous maybe, or just impatient. He can’t tell. “I know better than to mess with the captain,” he finally manages. “Hyrule... we’re working on it.” 

  “Good,” Legend sounds, “but again, I don’t want a part of it. Whatever tiff you two have, settle it yourselves. If you need help with your magic, I’m here, but I don’t stand for funny business, comprendo?” 

  He blinks. 

  The vet rolls his eyes, sighing. “Do you understand?”  

  “Understood.” He wishes people would just speak Hylian to him instead of switching mid conversation. 

  “Good. Now, anything else I should know?” And it’s not harsh, it’s not cold, its’s said with the tilt of the head in a way that almost reminds him of Wolfie in their early days, that same half-amused look in dark eyes as the one that had followed him as he’d acquainted himself with a new world, freshly brought back into it. There’s nothing more to share though. Not for now, but he promises to tell if there’s anything he thinks of. Legend accepts that answer too, nodding and setting out again to continue their patrol. 

  He doesn’t get it, but he supposes that’s not the point. How the vet handles the nonsense they throw at him, he can’t fathom, but that he does at all is a blessing. They may laugh and jest about sharp tongues and scathing remarks, but the vet has the patience of a priestess to handle all of them, and he’s thankful for that. 

  He came back wrong, twisted and death-touched and terrifying to those who don’t understand why he is the way he is. It's not fun to explain and it’s tricky to live with, but at least he has a way to control it, even if it does mean asking for help. Still, he doesn’t hate it. His magic is a tool to terrify and harm the enemy, and he values that tool. He doesn’t cherish it, doesn’t adore how it affects those he cares about, but he’s glad he has it. He's glad he has it and he’s working to understand it, to control it.  

  Maybe having someone who understand these things, who knows magic because he’s steeped in it and has lived with it forever- not just unlocked it in a moment of desperation and without proper guidance to master it- will help. Who knows, maybe he can learn something from the vet, maybe even something help Zelda! That would be nice! Being able to return to her and teach her even just the smallest bit about her own power- help her in the way she’d begged the goddesses for, the way he’d wished he could for all the time he’d spent at her side unable to offer more than protection- it’d be nice. 

  Magic is weird, but maybe, maybe, he can get a handle on his Weirdness. 

  At the very least, he can make it shut up now when he needs to. So that’s a start! 

[tennessoui]

For the ask game, 5, 18, and 30??

(from this ask game)

ahh thank you for sending these in!!

5. first sentence of the fifth paragraph of an unpublished WIP

ok so i have 7 tabs open and all of them are either new chapters or unpublished wips but here is the first sentence of the first tab - and a second sentence for a little bit more context lol:

'Watto has wings, a set that isn’t much to look at but that he’s rather proud of showing off anyway. And because Watto has wings, little Ani cannot, lest he grow up and get ideas.'

(that's wing fic au which i have been meaning to finish and post for forever)

18. If you keep them, share a deleted sentence or paragraph from a published fic

ok so i don't keep my deleted sentences or paragraphs - they are gone with the wind as soon as i don't like them lol BUT i can definitely talk about one of my first draft ideas for a fic that i didn't end up writing which i've definitely talked about before. in foolproof foolhardy, when i started writing what would become the last 2 chapters and the final arc of the story, i was totally sold on the idea that when they're in the ship on the way to their mission they would end up fucking ('to get it out of their system') as a one-time thing and afterwards they can just pretend they don't care about each other at all and the sex would be very angry and bitter except for the moments where they couldn't help but betray their real feelings (aka master skywalker caresses obi-wan's face, obi-wan kisses his pulse, etc etc)

and then during the mission the prince of the planet would be interested in obi-wan in a way that would prove to be Perilous (because obi-wan tries to pretend he can just go back to having fun and sleeping around and so he courts the prince's attention, but it turns out that actually he doesn't want to do that anymore because now he knows how anakin would hold him)

and anakin would do something very dramatic like start a full on war with the planet and or threaten assassination of the prince because hes a jealous lil guy and will use obi-wan's discomfort as cover for his actions without examining the root of the emotions which is in fact love (but twisted)

and then they fuck AGAIN and finally actually talk it all out (but it was already such a long story and that whole mission arc seemed needlessly dramatic when tensions were already high, so they just talked it out the first time they fucked on the ship, which i'm happy with)

30. share a fic you’re especially proud of

ooo interesting question! i definitely feel various amounts of proud of all my fics because of who i was and what i was trying out when i was writing each of them, but i think i'm especially proud of let my love be the knife that implicates me aka the rots compliant fic where obi-wan raises luke on tatooine alone and does as good of a job as he knows how. i just really like the concept of it - where obi-wan deals with his grief by talking about the agony and joy of loving anakin, luke's father, while also still so fresh off of mustafar and the fall of the Jedi, knowing he can only talk about this now because when luke is old enough to remember he shouldn't bear the weight of his secrets....only for luke to remember not the words themselves (about the empire, about sidious, about anakin's betrayal) but the emotion behind them, which was almost always love.

it's a sad fic but it's not so sad that i think it's unreadable and i really am so proud of a lot of the phrases and the pacing of it! mostly because i almost always avoid anything even resembling 'canon compliant' and so this was a really big moment for me lol

[irenes-journal]

Hi everyone, welcome to my brain being overly active at 2am because of medicine and an awful sleep pattern thanks to being super sick for like two and a half weeks.

So under that post I reblogged from aphtwt confessions saying they hated Laurance, I mentioned in the tags (before I changed them) about how Laurance sees Aphmau during the pregnancy “arc” (it was literally in the 97th episode so I’m not sure how much of an arc is really is) and I wanted to explain it further since I feel like I did a bad job doing it originally.

Disclaimer before I start: I don’t like the pregnancy subplot lol. I don’t think that’s necessarily unpopular either. But that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen so I’m going to to analyze it anyway, especially because what spawned this post specifically mentions it.

So obviously in canon, Laurance eavesdropped on Aph when she admitted to being pregnant to Katelyn, Zoey, and Cadenza. I always thought when I was younger that Laurance responding like he did (going full shadow knight and answering the calling of the Nether) ONLY because of a pregnancy was weird. Like that’s really dramatic of a response, and I really hated it. So I decided to ease the many questions that have plagued my mind for years by coming up with this explanation onto why he reacted so strongly.

Simply, Laurance put way too many of his feelings into Aphmau. She was a physical manifestation of his humanity in a way, the feelings he felt for her is what kept him in tact. He was holding out a hope that she will reciprocate those feelings to him, and practically “bring him back from the dead.” But she didn’t reciprocate those feelings, which in turn “killed” Laurance.

While I personally hate the narrative of “because I was here earlier, I deserve her more than you do,” it was obvious that was being written in MCD. Garroth did it to Laurance, and Laurance did it to Aaron. This mindset is what evidently “killed” Laurance off, he was holding out for something that was not going to happen. He unknowingly put his feelings of humanity on an unwilling subject, and that was Aphmau.

Laurance didn’t seem like he wanted to even admit that he had died sometimes. He wanted to continue being a guard, serving a lord and protecting people. He wanted to be that morally upstanding individual. He wanted love, pain, joy, sadness…he just wanted feelings. But the call of the Nether made it harder for him to feel that range of emotion. He became more short tempered, bitter, and pained. But a sliver of him had hope, that’s what kept him in tact. But his hope was attached to a person. There was a risk that would backfire on him, that he would be hurt and then lose control. That’s exactly what happened to him.

He could have been like Vylad, and try to detach/squash many of the feelings he has as he tries to gain better control over himself. Vylad was very controlled, and that’s why he tried to help Laurance like he did. But possibly there wasn’t enough time for Laurance to truly learn how to do that before his fragile state evidently cracked with something as deep and consuming as heartbreak. Since he could no longer find the means or the will to control it, he decided to leave. He probably thought that he was going to hurt those he cared about regardless of staying or leaving, and leaving at least ensured that they would at least be safe from him. That or he didn’t want to deal with it.

Aphmau is not at fault for falling in love with someone else. She did not choose to be Laurance’s emotional link to humanity, it was just unknowingly placed upon her. Despite how many people dislike aarmau or Aaron, being romantically involved with him isn’t an immoral act of her character. It’s just a disappointment to viewers who were long term garmau or laurmau fans.

Should Laurance have put his feelings humanity into something else? Probably. Putting all of your faith into a person (and their feelings about you) who could very well disappoint you, even if you don’t want to admit it, is not the smartest move. But that sliver of hope and feelings of love made him see the world, specifically her, through rose colored glasses. He didn’t logically make a decision to put that much level of importance onto Aphmau, it was his heart talking over his head. But he did, and that’s how he ended up digging his own grave.

[babyjakes]

hey guys i just wanna say thanks 🥺 to the friends who have been showing aww avengers some love, yesterday i was feeling so sad but seeing the effort some kind moots and friends have put into spreading it around has really meant so much to me— i think right now my half’s masterlist has as many reblogs as it does likes and that!!! just means the world to me fr; even if this isn’t the level of engagement i’m used to, seeing buddies i know and love sharing my stuff (even if it’s not their usual content) is just 🥺 wowie i’m so thankful to have such amazing friends here. i hope my readers know that even if we aren’t moots, even if you don’t send asks or reblogs, if you are interacting regularly and showing love i probably recognize you by name/url!! and consider you a friend, and am so happy to have you here 🫶 anyway, that’s my little love-filled rant for the day lol.

💕💖 tagging a few friends i wanna thank in particular for their support: @babyblue2244 @lfnr-blog-blog-blog @lilacevans @then-kiss-me-once-again @emerald-evans @brandycranby @upallnite2getbucky @sweater-daddiesdumbdork @foxgloveprincess @fleuronomy @infinitymitten @super-soldier-sandwich @lexivass 💖💕

oh, one more thing!! please please please also go show @starksbabie’s masterlist just as much love, she is such an amazing creator and friend and it was such a joy to work with her!! and give her a follow if you haven’t already, she writes for a variety of fandoms such as the mcu and stranger things!

[thisdreamplace]

Hi dream. it’s 😵‍💫 anon. always a joy to look at your page. honestly, life has been sucking as usual. opportunities have arose, but nothing came of it. I actually felt worse after the opportunities. sometimes it feels like there is no hope. the hardest thing is seeing someone I care for be sad like I am. now I’m trying to manifest for her as well. it’s like you can’t escape what makes you feel terrible. ugh. even though I’m down, I don’t want this person to feel the same as me but I can’t do anything for either of us. I just remember a time of crying and then being okay because of possibility but sadly, possibility isn’t enough anymore. seeing this person hurt kind of drilled it in me that I’m here….and I don’t know a way out seriously. I’m sorry for the negativity. I’m always trauma dumping here like a fucking dumbass. the only time I feel open is when I let it all out, but a part of me feels sucky for doing so here. I hope it’s not too much, dream.

I’m just babbling but I went black friday shopping. I kind of found out that I have been buying shit for a second of relief. I get happy that I have something to look forward to. is it retail therapy?? I bought some skincare products so hopefully they work out. for some reason, every time I do skincare, everything just sits there on top of my skin or it burns. like damn 💀

this entire message seems like I roller coaster like you started off sad and then straight into skincare lol? I guess I feel lighter after releasing my words. right now I’m about to go stuff my entire face with leftover Thanksgiving food. happy Thanksgiving btw if you celebrate it. if you do celebrate it, did you do anything? any black friday shopping? it’s really hard not to fall victim to sales 🥲🤣

hiiiii my lovely 😵‍💫 anon <3

its never too much, so don't worry. it saddens me to read how you've been feeling though, especially in regards to your friend. its lovely you want to help them, but truly, you deserved to be help first in your life. you've gotta make sure you're good, then you're best able to help others too.

dont feel too bad about shopping like that. literally, a lot of us has been there. i literally had a shopping addiction a couple of years ago, without realizing it. luckily, i was able to get out of it. hahah so really, its just one of them things sometimes. lol theres nothing wrong w a lil retail therapy though, i mean why not treat yourself ? i hope the skincare works out <3 any product recs ??

and thank you <3 i hope you had a great thanksgiving !! i just spent the time with friends and family, and actually had one of the best thanksgivings i've had in a while hehe and i made a new friend ! i did go black friday shopping, but i mainly shopped deals online which have ~finally~ started arriving recently and i love them sm. youre so right tho, but i was like hey i could def use some things and the deals truly were irresistable in that moment LOL

anyway, i hope youre feeling better now and im glad youre able to come here and vent, and leave yourself feeling lighter in that moment ! <3

xoxo

[little-sw33tie]

For Malachi!

👁️ EYE - what colour are their eyes? do people notice their eyes? is there anything special about them (shows emotion easily, literally magical...)?

😨 FEARFUL - when scared, do they go into "flight" or "fight"?

💐 BOUQUET - create a bouqet for them! what do those flowers mean? are any of the flowers their particular favourite?

🌙 MOON - what is your oc's greatest wish? how far are they willing to go for it?

🙉 HEAR-NO-EVIL - what is the worse thing your oc could hear from someone?

For Inexus!

💥 COLLISON - what emotions do they have trouble dealing with?

💐 BOUQUET - create a bouqet for them! what do those flowers mean? are any of the flowers their particular favourite?

🌙 MOON - what is your oc's greatest wish? how far are they willing to go for it?

🙉 HEAR-NO-EVIL - what is the worse thing your oc could hear from someone?

For Creature!

💐 BOUQUET - create a bouqet for them! what do those flowers mean? are any of the flowers their particular favourite?

🌙 MOON - what is your oc's greatest wish? how far are they willing to go for it?

🙉 HEAR-NO-EVIL - what is the worse thing your oc could hear from someone?

SOL I AM BITING YOU WITH SO MYCH AFFECTION YOU DONT EVEN KNOW!!!!

MALACHI

👁️Malachi’s eyes are purple with a black sclera!!! Nothing special aside from them being really pretty!!!

😨With Malachi I’d say its dependent on the situation, if it’s them alone they’ll freeze for a moment but then go for fight, if it’s with someone it doesn’t care about it will opt for flight, if they’re with anyone they like or would want to protect (children always are on that list fr) they’ll go full fight mode!

💐 Moonflowers (Just here bc I associate them with it lol), Begonias (Caution), Devil’s Trumpet (name), Angel’s trumpet (name), Sweet Briar (said to be planted by the devil), Stinging nettle (It just fits in my head for some reason)

🌙The greatest wish Malachi has is for peace after the little war it started! They go through a shit ton, and along the way find people they never expected to care so deeply for and end up getting involved. So they wish both for their own goal of succeeding, but also the safety of those they care about! So needless to say as i mentioned, they chose to go to war to try and achieve that!

🙉The worst thing anybody could say to Malachi is probably “It’s pointless” or anything insinuating that everything Malachi has sacrificed and lost to win this battle that it hesitated on starting for so many decades

INEXUS

💥At the start of it’s story, Inexus struggles with almost all of them! Inexus’ story has a lot to do about it learning how to feel emotions and such! But later on, they would probably have trouble dealing with guilt, sadness, and how overwhelming those two and happiness can be!

💐Protea flower (Curiosity), Morning glory (growth, change), foxglove (fear), blue iris (knowledge), red rose (colour+General association), purple aquilegia (Colours, Shape)

🌙Inexus’ greatest wish is to be able to pay back everyone who had helped him through his journey and to be able to show them how great full it is in a way it thinks is enough. At one point it gets to a self deprecating point where others have to really step in and talk to it!

🙉The worst thing one could say to Inexus is that one of its loved ones was harmed and/or killed, Inexus would be destoryed

CREATURE

💐Cattails (cat), Sunflowers (Strenght, Adoration), pink hyacinth (playful joy), Golden yellow Marigolds(Colour), purple spotted petunia (Looks)

🌙Creature’s biggest wish would probably be to no longer be allergic to fish, it doesn’t know how it’ll do that but until then it’s gonna feast anyways

🙉This big cat cannot be upset by words, but with actions you can utterly devastate it, even when it isn’t the target

[always-andromeda]

Hi Meda! I just wanted to stop by and say happy spooky month! I hope you’re doing well and that the rest of the year goes well for you! College has been lowkey kicking my butt so I haven’t written in about a year which makes me sad but I’m hoping to get some stuff out for kinktober but we’ll see haha (darn me and my desire to take all the hard classes.) Anyways, I’ve been thinking of you and I’m so happy and honored that you think I’m cool enough to be mutuals with me.

Love from Colorado,

Sam

Let’s not pay too much attention to the fact that this has been sitting in my inbox for…almost a month. I’m so sorry. 😬

But happy belated spooky month!! And I feel you so hard on the college thing lol. Being an art major even at my community college can get a little bit rough sometimes because it’s so easy to fall into perfectionistic patterns. And by the end of everything I’ve found that all of my creative energy has just been sucked up by academia. And it really isn’t fun!! But we’ll get through.

And also. I’m proud of you. Regardless of if you managed to write anything for kinktober. I’m so proud of you for pushing yourself through the whole college thing. And let’s be honest, being an adult in general is fucking rough, especially when you’re still figuring out the majority of it. So I’m extremely proud of you for doing the best with what you can right now and I hope that if and when you get the chance to revisit writing that it brings you joy. Love you always, Sam. Take care of yourself!! 💛