#anyway this happened in my playthrough and I think about it all the time

[agoldengalaxy]

Love Knows No Bounds

read on Ao3

words: 2468

Suddenly, it was silent. Luigi’s ears were ringing as he pulled himself up again. At his feet, crumpled in a small ball, Mario was unmoving with tendrils of red and black seeping from his body. “Mario…?” Luigi’s voice was barely above a whisper as he hesitated, going to reach for Mario’s shoulder when a gloved hand smacked his hand away. “Leave me alone.” The voice that spoke was Mario’s, but it wasn’t him. Luigi felt lightheaded as he instinctually took a step back. Mario straightened up slowly, his normally blue eyes glowing with a sinister red energy. “This only happened because I had to protect you again.”

--

Both relief and exhaustion tugged at their shoulders as Mario and Luigi began ascending the steps together. The Extension Corps had separated them for a while, but now that they were back together again, they were intent on finishing what they started. They would bring Concordia together. They would rid this world of Glohm. They would show Zokket who he was supposed to be.

When they reached the top of the fortress, they found a long winding path ahead of them. Luigi felt a shiver run down his spine as a cold wind blew by - they were high above the ocean now, and he had no idea what to expect, or how powerful Zokket really was. Before he could take a step forward, however, Mario placed a hand on his shoulder. When Luigi looked at his brother, his eyes were both bright and determined, despite the weariness around the edges.

Luigi took a deep breath and gave an equally determined nod. He’d be okay. He always was, with Mario by his side.

Together, they made it to the end of the path. Zokket hovered in front of a colorful display, radiating with sinister energy. When he turned to address them, with soulless eyes behind a jagged white mask, he stumbled over their names before getting it right. “The Mario Bros., I believe? Not that your names particularly matter. If you’re here, I suppose that means the Extension Corps failed. I should have destroyed you myself right away.”

Zokket sounded especially bored as he mentioned his henchmen, as if he wasn’t surprised in the slightest. Luigi couldn’t help but wonder why those three even worked for him in the first place.

“No matter. No matter at all. My mission will soon be complete.” Even in a moment when he should be happy, Zokket was emotionless, like a puppet without strings. He turned around to look at the thing crackling with Glohm. “My great inspiration will be reborn, and the world will be properly lonely.” He turned back around, making a noise that sounded like a sigh. “You, however, will not be there to see it.” Suddenly, electric red and black exploded from his cape, and for the first time, the brothers could catch a glimpse of emotion on his face - anger. “You interrupted the rebirth…how dare you?!”

Suddenly, Zokket lunged forward with surprising speed, his cloak billowing behind him as large hands donned huge razors made of what looked like pure Glohm. As Mario shouted in alarm and jumped out of the way, Luigi dove to the left, landing on his elbows. He quickly pulled himself up, whirling around to face the enemy again.

“Luigi!” Mario exclaimed, and, from a few feet away, they locked eyes. Luigi knew right away what he wanted to do. They each took out their hammers, sprinting around Zokket to try and disorient him, each hitting when he least expected it. After a few hits, he spread his arms and a huge burst of energy sent the brothers flying backward.

The breath was knocked right out of Luigi’s lungs. He lay against the cool metal of the fortress, and Snoutlet freed himself from under his hat. “Luigi! Get up, c’mon!”

He knew he had to. It hurt to breathe. His body felt heavy.

Managing to pull himself up on all fours, Luigi focused on catching his breath as Zokket let out a sound that sounded a little like laughter, no doubt still fighting Mario. “You know,” he said, almost thoughtfully, “The Extension Corps really were useless, but they were good for one thing. They showed me just how powerful your sickening bond is. Perhaps we should level the playing field.”

Luigi slowly got to his feet, watching as Zokket procured another Glohm razor from inside his cloak. Suddenly, everything seemed to move in slow motion as the razor was hurled right at Luigi. Without even a second to consider any other option, Mario leapt toward his brother, shoving him back down to the ground.

Suddenly, it was silent. Luigi’s ears were ringing as he pulled himself up again. At his feet, crumpled in a small ball, Mario was unmoving with tendrils of red and black seeping from his body. “Mario…?” Luigi’s voice was barely above a whisper as he hesitated, going to reach for Mario’s shoulder when a gloved hand smacked his hand away.

“Leave me alone.” The voice that spoke was Mario’s, but it wasn’t him. Luigi felt lightheaded as he instinctually took a step back. Mario straightened up slowly, his normally blue eyes glowing with a sinister red energy. “This only happened because I had to protect you again.”

Luigi felt the breath leave his body in a whoosh, suddenly feeling quite sick. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. Snoutlet ducked out from underneath his hat, speaking for him instead. “Mario! Snap out of it, buddy!” When Mario was unresponsive to that, Snoutlet hurriedly turned to Luigi. “C’mon, grab an Ampberry - !”

Blinking numbly, Luigi turned to his bag, fumbling for the fruit with shaking hands, when Zokket’s voice cut through the ringing in Luigi’s ears. “Ah, ah, ah.” He lifted a finger, and Mario, glowing with red and black electricity, was flown forward with such force that he punched Snoutlet hard enough to send him flying back into the wall. He fell to the ground limply, and Luigi knew he screamed, but he couldn’t hear it.

And he still couldn’t find the damn Ampberry.

Zokket swiped his hand, and, obediently, Mario went to stand by his side, his brows still furrowed, his eyes still blood red. Seeming to almost be laughing, Zokket held his hand up by his face. “I will be controlling your brother now that he has been properly Glohmed.” With a quick tilt of his head Mario pulled out his hammer, seemingly waiting for the word.

“No,” Luigi mumbled, panic attacking his chest like a thousand stinging bees. He stumbled backward, holding his hands up.

“I will enjoy your sibling rivalry.” Zokket nodded, and Mario sped toward his brother.

Without thinking, Luigi pulled out his hammer too, continuing to move backward, watching Mario use his classic evading techniques, trying to confuse him before striking. “Mario,” he pleaded, feeling the hot sting of tears in his eyes, “Mario! It’s me!”

The silhouette, wearing his brother’s face and wrapped in red and black, said nothing, undeterred. Pressing his lips together, Luigi glanced toward Snoutlet, still unmoving on the floor.

“The pig cannot help you,” Zokket murmured amusedly as Mario continued to look for an opening to strike. “What will the crybaby do without his precious brother? Surely, you wouldn’t hurt him?”

Mario’s hammer swung down so fast it grazed Luigi’s arm as he dodged. Tearfully, angrily, Luigi gripped his own hammer. “Th-This isn’t you,” he insisted at Mario, but then turned his gaze from his brother toward the enemy, “Cozette.”

Zokket seemed to be so caught off guard by the use of the name that he froze in place, and Luigi could see some confusion past Mario’s glowing red eyes. He tightened his grip on the hammer and readied himself.

“You are a Wattanist,” he continued, dodging out of the way of Mario’s slower attacks. “Your name is Cozette. You have an apprentice that you love, a-and she loves you right back.”

“No!”

The yell that ripped from Zokket’s throat was inhuman. When Mario swung his hammer again, Luigi swung too, sending the hammer flying out of his hands. Mario’s shoulders sagged, breath coming short and ragged and shallow.

“Mario…” Luigi slowly reached forward, placing a gentle hand on Mario’s shoulder. Red and black tendrils dissipated into the air, and when Mario looked up, his eyes were clear blue, his brows furrowed.

“Wh…” His voice came out in a breath. “ Weegee .”

Angrily, Zokket brandished a few more razors. “A touching reunion, bros., but your end is way overdue. I shall dispose of you once and for all.”

There was no time to worry. Luigi ran to grab Mario’s dropped hammer and tossed it back to him.

They fought for what felt like days. Everything ached, every inch of his body screamed, until finally, the two men stood over a beaten-down Zokket. Mario stood his ground while Luigi rushed over to Snoutlet, gently scooping him into his arms. “Did we…Did we win…?” he mumbled sluggishly. Luigi smiled, relieved, and nodded, lifting his hat to put Snoutlet back on his head.

“Un…Unbelievable…” he muttered, red electricity crackling around him. “How can two mere bros. be so powerful?” The mask over his eyes cracked. “But…as long as the egg remains…my purpose has been fulfilled.”

The mask shattered. He let out another inhuman screech and crumpled to the floor. One last cloud of red swept over him, and when it disappeared, it left Cozette in its wake.

The next few minutes were an absolute hazy blur. When the egg cracked and Reclusa appeared, all Luigi could do was wonder if they had come this far for nothing. That terrible laugh echoed in their ears as they dodged out of the way of the metal monstrosities and rushed back the way they came. While they searched for a way out, Cozette appeared behind them, looking worse for wear.

“Mario Bros.” Her voice was shaky, her eyes barely open. “I will explain shortly, but first we need to leave.”

They pressed onward, surrounded by those terrible plants on all sides. Suddenly, a familiar voice called from below. “Over here, you green genius!”

Luigi had never been more relieved to see Adaphne. He had a feeling this was the first and only time.

***

While Connie and Cozette reunited, Mario grabbed Luigi’s arm gently, pulling him off to the side. “Luigi,” he murmured, his voice soft and sad and full of regret, his eyes stormy blue. “Are you hurt?”

He blinked, then glanced down at himself. Now that most of the adrenaline had worn off, he was beginning to feel sore - especially from his right arm, where Mario had grazed him with the hammer. “I-I’m okay, really -”

Mario’s face fell, his words spoken like a statement rather than a question. “I hurt you.”

“N-No, no, it wasn’t you!” Luigi shook his head vigorously. “You know how Glohm affects people…”

“It’s all so hazy,” he admitted, his eyes showcasing a shine that wasn’t there before. “But I -” Suddenly, a look of pure horror dawned on his face, his voice shaking. “Snoutlet!” Luigi winced, reaching up to remove his hat. Moving slowly, Snoutlet pulled himself into the air. Wringing his hands, clearly beside himself, Mario’s eyes were wide with an emotion Luigi had never seen before. “Oh, God…I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Huffing, Snoutlet reached forward with a paw, placing it on Mario’s shoulder. “Pull yourself together, pal,” he said, with surprising gentleness. “We’re all still here, ain’t we? A little soreness is nothin’.” 

The look on Mario’s face showed he was barely comforted by Snoutlet’s words, if at all. But he closed his eyes for a moment, drew a small breath, and nodded slightly. “Thank you.”

“And hey, I could always make it even and hit ya back. Maybe after we save Concordia,” he joked, which got a small smile out of Mario. Snoutlet looked between them for a moment, then sighed. “Look, I, uh…I’m gonna go check on Connie. You should rest for a minute, then come join us.”

When they each gave a slight nod, Snoutlet turned and flew toward the Uni-Tree. A quiet fell between them both, with Mario still seemingly wanting to talk about things, and Luigi not really thinking there was anything to talk about. But he knew his brother, and he knew him well enough to know that this whole situation was going to eat at him if they didn’t.

Gently, Luigi reached forward to grab Mario’s arm, guiding them both to sit on the side of the ship, their legs dangling off the edge. For a while, neither one said a word. Then, “Y’know, I wouldn’t have thought of distracting Zokket like that. You must have been so scared, but your logic was still sound, sound enough to break me out of his control.”

The familiar burn of tears stung Luigi’s eyes. “I was so scared,” he agreed, hastily wiping at his eyes. “I knew I couldn’t beat him myself.”

“Well, in a way, you did,” Mario murmured, nudging his shoulder gently. “I-I know you don’t want to hear me apologize over and over again. What I’m trying to say is…I’m proud of you.”

This time the tears flowed freely. “Even though you…had to protect me again?”

“What?”

“When you were…when you were first hit, I tried snapping you out of it, and you said…’This only happened because I had to protect you again.”’ Luigi sniffled. “I-I know you weren’t yourself, b-but it’s true. You always have to protect me.”

Mario's eyes were wide, and it seemed like he’d stopped breathing until he remembered he should suck air into his lungs. “Luigi,” he said softly, reaching up to wipe a tear from his cheek. “You are smart, and brave, and capable on your own. I don’t care that I took a hit for you. You’re my brother. You’re my best friend. I would choose to protect you even when you don’t need it.”

Luigi cried harder, and Mario reached up to pull him close, pulling him down so his face rested on Mario’s shoulder. He was terribly homesick, exhausted, and scared, but he’d always have Mario. And for that, he felt like he could be okay.

“Wow…Luigi, look!”

Luigi picked up his head slowly, surprised to see colorful sparkles, just like the ones they’d seen before they were sucked through the portal, circling them slowly. Speechless, the two brothers stood up, watching the sparks move faster and faster around them in a colored haze until it shot into the air, circling the Uni-Tree’s lightbulb. Not unlike a firework, it burst and rained down upon the tree, lighting the lightbulb brighter than they’d ever seen.

Exchanging a look, they both rushed toward Connie, Cozette and Snoutlet, who were staring up at the tree with awed looks on their faces.

“Amazing…” Cozette murmured from her spot on the bed. “The physical manifestation of your bond was so powerful that it fused with the Uni-Tree.”

“And you’re not even Concordians!” Connie mused, both surprised and pleased by the idea. 

Snoutlet grinned proudly. “Reclusa’ll be no match for you two with a bond that strong!”

Luigi glanced at Mario, and Mario gave him a quiet smile. Luigi returned it.

“Mario! Luigi! There’s an emergency, come quick!” Suddenly, Arc was by their side, and they nodded.

Onto the next battle.

[maddieandangel]

Had a weird Hollow Knight-related dream a couple days ago, so I decided to draw a major scene I remembered from it dgsgshf

More context will be in the tags, for those interested!

[maliro-t]

.

[vspin]

On Act 3 and the lack of companion reactivity and dialogue.

So, I officially hit 400 hours on BG3 yesterday (no lifing it lmao) and I've been thinking about some things I wish Larian would improve or wish that they had implemented. A big thing that comes to mind is how much companion reactivity and dialogue abruptly stops in Act 3.

Act 1 really shines with companion reactivity. They always have something to say to the MC, to NPCs, or even to each other! I love the interaction after you use your ilithid powers for the first time and it's a 4 way conversation between everyone.

Then we get to Act 3 and there's such huge drop-off. Some big offenses:

Very little reaction to quests and locations. When I killed Raphael I only got comments from Astarion and Gale! Seriously?? We just survived a trip to the Hells! This happens with multiple quests

Blank faces when Durge is killed by Bhaal.

Camp is lifeless. Everyone just stands in front of their bed, There are no interactions.

In my playthrough, the Emporer admitted to my Tav he was manipulating her and didn't really care. It was bummer I couldn't talk to the other tadpole gang about it.

I remember coming across a Druid in the city. He was trying to heal a tree. So I went back and grabbed Halsin because he was complaining no one in the city cared about nature or balance. So I thought surely, he would have an interaction here! Nope, nothing!

As soon as you finish a companion's personal quest that is basically the end of your interactions with them; even if you romance them.

What I'd like to see: (Disclaimer: Just my opinions. I have no expectation of any of this being added to the game)

More camp interaction between companions. Jahiera and Minsc had a great example of this. Let there be a quick cutscene of Minsc and Halsin arm wrestling. Shadowheart, Karlach, and Astarion drinking wine. Anything. DA:I did a great job at this. It seemed like anytime I approached someone for dialogue they were in the middle of an interaction with someone else. Or events like the card game. It brought a lot of life into the party.

More random city encounters. They did a good job with Karlach; she has interactions with the steel watcher and her friend Fitz. Would have been cool to have some of those with Wyll, maybe he meets another noble or a flaming fist and has to deal with their shock of seeing him as a devil. Or with Gale in Sorcerous Sundries (he is a famous wizard after all!). Astarion mentions he needs to keep a low profile in the taverns; what if someone called him out!

More reactions to story events.

Expand on romances a bit more. We don't need it to be a dating sim but if you finish your LI's quest early on get used to just asking for small pecks and that's it. I would like to see more romance-specific dialogue for quest reactions.

And Finally:

We needed all companions at the final battle. Everyone should have been at the main keep before confronting the brain. You should have had your final conversations with them before you all potentially die in battle. DA:O style. A passionate kiss with your LI (not a tiny little peck lmao). This was a huge exclusion.

Anyway, these are my thoughts on the matter. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

[gullamor]

Nothing Good Happens In The Deep Roads

Hi, I'm new here to Dragon Age Tumblr. Publicly, anyway. I lurk. Anyway, I've been playing Veilguard like many of us I imagine. For show and tell I have brought you the most paranoia-inducing segment of one of the companion quests and I like... haven't seen anyone mention it or talk about it so I would like to add it to the collective borg of screams. So, like, spoilers. Duh. You've been warned.

Still here? No turning back. Okay good. Welcome.

SO ANWAY. I'm on a second playthrough now, trying out new options and classes and things. I get around to that point where you start to get companion quests fired up and Lace's kicks in earlier than a lot of them to me at least. Ya go down to the Deep Roads where nothing good ever happens. And my first time through, visiting Kal-Sharok I distinctly remember it being... fine. Like there were darkspawn and stuff but that's just the deep roads and they cranked the gross factor on the darkspawn anyway, so... what gives? Where are my bad vibes and sad times now of going down in the deep roads where nothing good ever happens? Enter playthrough numero dos. I'm picking through Kal-Sharok, really getting up in there. Trying to find all the things I missed. I was standing at the precipice before delving down into the Deep Roads. And my eye snags on this fucking thing:

Now, y'all with color coordination skills may note that all the bad guys and evil shit down here is red-coded. In my brain, I was just thinking to myself. Huh... that looks like a Venatori crystal. ... I don't remember there being Venatori on Lace's quest. So naturally, I'm curious. I continue on, and try to get up closer to get a better angle.

Huh.. that doesn't look like a venatori smashy smashy crystal... that looks like a person... And then ALL AT ONCE I recall where her questline continues and how there's angry Red Lyrium Titan Lace by the end of her questline AND that Valta mentions 'something has found Lace' when we're talking to them and then we get jumped. There's no shot that's angry lyrium Lace... right..? So now like any sane person, I'm on my guard the entire rest of that quest. And I was fucking right to be BECAUSE SHE STALKS YOU THE ENTIRE TIME. I eventually remembered as I was playing you can zoom in with the photo mode they blessed us with and could see Lace. But they stalk you through the entire area until you get to the chamber where Valta is. I don't know if I caught them all, and I am too frightened to go back and find it so I dump all my findings here for the community to scream with me about.

tl;dr, and my thesis statement in all things with these games Nothing. Good. Happens. In the Deep Roads.

[polar534]

Was anyone going to tell me that Rook and Neve mirror each other's phrases depending on who you choose to dismantle the ward? Or was I just supposed to find that out myself after my 2nd full playthrough?!

First of all, I'm ill. Thank you writers. You deserve so much better than you get. To make up for that, I'm going to gush about the writing and more importantly the performance of the actors I got to experience said writing through. I think this post I want to specifically focus on Rook, since so many people have taken apart the Category 5 event that is Neve's full romance plot. But trust me, at the end of this analysis I plan on touching on something I haven't yet seen from the Neve romance takes. And if it is out there, it's not getting nearly the attention it deserves.

I think it's absolutely fascinating the character development that happens for Rook specifically if you choose Neve and subsequently she gets blighted. Despite all the personality choices you can make in regards to the romantic scenes. (Shout out to the Stoic option breaking my heart every time during the Eclipse scene.) One thing Rook is for Neve, always, is there. Rook makes sure to let Neve know, out loud and through their actions, that they are there. They'll always try to be there, even when they might not be fast enough, when the tables turn or when gods break promises. Now I'm not sure about the other VA's performance because I've just been running through this romance as one character, but Bryony Corrigan does an absolutely phenomenal job of breaking my heart in the aftermath of Tearstone Island. Through her performance you can really begin to see the flipside of this coin. The other reflection in the mirror.

If any companion speaks to you about Neve, Bryony does a fantastic job of letting the emotion come through her small lines just enough that it sounds like Rook is really on the edge of tears. Ask Rook about their plans, or what they have to do next? Fine. Can handle that. She will get the job done. But ask her about Neve? Reassure her that they'll find her? Suddenly Rook is the smallest person in the world. Her voice cracks, she's hardly even able to thank Davrin or Bellara for their support because she is actively choking back what sounds like tears.

Don't even get me started on the animation rigging for Rook when you DO find Neve and she reveals just what happened while Rook wasn't there.

Look at that devastation! I can tell they turned up the rigging specifically to make sure that no matter what your Rook looks like, you will KNOW just how broken they must feel in that moment. (Regret Prison could never.) Rook wasn't there and Neve had someone in her head. Someone who used her to break her own city.

(Important note that this animation will NOT play for just a normal companion rescue. Rook is only going to be this devastated when it's someone they love. In a normal run you'll get more of relieved and happy grin rather than whatever pathetic, wet beast looking thing this is.)

Moving forward, the very next time you can choose the 'Romantic' option, Rook will reflect in some way that they 'lost' Neve. That is not something you can change. You, as a player, CANNOT change the fact that a romantically involved Rook will see the time spent apart as an overwhelming loss. They lost Neve. Once you do click the 'Romantic' option however, the dialogue will change to some variation of 'found'. Which reflects exactly what Rook has dedicated themselves to proving to Neve. That they will be there. That they will always try.

That spoken dialogue doesn't stop the choices from showing what Rook is really feeling however. In their mind, they lost her. Neve is desperate to remind Rook that they can't even consider her being there as a win. Not while they still have so much left to do. And yet? It doesn't stop Rook from believing it anyways. That is the win in their eyes, no matter what comes next.

The only thing that can come close to getting that final win now is killing Elgar'nan, and I'm feral for the fact that Rook's view of killing the last blighted god can, canonically, become revenge for what he did to Neve. (On top of saving the world of course)

You'll get further 'lost and found' references in the dialogue after. Again, I feel like it's really important to see that it is Rook saying all of this. It has nothing to do with your choices beforehand. If you choose the romantic option, this is what Rook is truly feeling. It becomes canon to whatever kind of Rook you're playing. They wouldn't know what to do if they hadn't found Neve.

(Bryony Corrigan you have me on the floor with this entire sequence. From the line above to: "Every moment." To "I'm right here. I promise." It knocks me to the floor. Every time. Insanely heart-wrenching delivery.)

Lastly in the post credit scene of the Blighted Neve storyline, 2 of your 3 options can include one final instance of the 'lost and found' wording that is so prevalently a theme for Rook in this version of events.

(Fun fact, the non-blighted version of the same scene will of course, also throw a nod to the theme of 'lost and found'. "Finding you was a lost cause.", As well as an option to tap into Rook's own feelings in regards to that theme: "That place, I was so lost...")

So why is this so interesting to me? Why does the mirrored dialogue from the very moment that scene starts mean so much to me? It's pretty simple.

In Neve's experience, lost things don't just come back. I think it's absolutely fascinating that her storyline, romance or not, has a nebulous theme around the idea that lost things don't just come back. In Neve's experience, once something goes missing, it's gone. The city will move on without a spare thought. That's why she tries to be the difference. To be the one that finds things. If you're hunting for people who are taken she will always make sure to slip in a line about the fact that even if you're too late, she intends to find them anyways. She will provide closure, a follow-up to whoever might need it. It's about the small temporary wins. It's the cynic with a heart of gold that's so deeply imbedded in her character.

You're supposed to play as the one that helps slowly change that idea. Rook is meant to be the exception to the rule Neve has held tight in an attempt at survival for so long. (Along with all of the other companions of course.) Rook is the 'found' part of lost and found. They're going to find a way through any situation. Whatever it takes.

So yeah, when Neve comes in to Rook's room during the non-blighted storyline, of course she's completely shaken by the fact that Rook is actually there. That they came back. That they found a way to come back. 

But on the flipside, what you can discover through the writing and through the incredible work by the VA, is the fact that without Neve? Rook can also become lost. The fact that the other came back at all means the world to them BOTH. The fact that they will mirror each other's thoughts, the very idea of coming back at all being a parallel to being lost and found, it's a payoff to something that gets set up at the very start of the game.

When they needed to find someone, Varric went to the best damn detective he had ever met. Neve Gallus, the local expert, the one person in Minrathous that people turn to when things or people go missing. In the same breath he'll introduce Rook as their expert on trouble. The very same kind of trouble that Neve knows to avoid and yet always finds her anyways.

Because lost things are always meant to be found. And Trouble isn't always a bad thing.

[astarion-obsessions]

I think not enough people understand that Astarion doesn't want you to be his main or only source of blood. This even stands in direct contrast to what he really wants to achieve with biting Tav. Let me explain.

Why Astarion doesn't want you to be his blood bag

Let me start with explaining how I approached this topic. First of all, when I triggered the bite scene in my playthrough, I obviously let Astarion drink from my Tav. But then I got curious. What happens when I don't stop him? He's said I could trust him just a moment ago, didn't he? So I did just that, I trusted him literally with my life. 

Aaaand... he killed me. Well. What did I expect from a vampire, really. But that he actually drained me dry broke my heart. I really wanted to trust him, to reach out and show him that I didn't judge him for what he was and so on. I was really disappointed in him and couldn't quite grasp why he would do this. Was it a conscious decision? Did he lose control? Surely he would apologise and explain everything to me once someone resurrected me, returning the trust I was giving him the night prior, right?... right?

Of course not. The dialogue after him killing Tav was... at least as disappointing as him killing Tav in the first place. He shows his usual attitude, apologises half-heartedly and then just keeps going on with talking about draining the occasional bandit. He even snaps when you mention the topic of him feeding after that with something like "I already apologised, what more do you want?".

There's no real regret, no emotions. He simply doesn't care.

We know that he didn't care in the beginning, he tells us as much when he confesses his unwanted, growing feelings towards Tav in act 2. But still the whole bite scene didn't sit right with me until…

The Nightmare 

I randomly stumbled upon a clip of Astarion having a nightmare, so I researched about it and even started an Astarion run to experience it myself. So, if you play as Astarion, at the second long rest of act 1 he has a nightmare about Cazador, in which he recites the rules that defined how Astarion and the other spawn had to live:

First, thou shalt not drink of the blood of thinking creatures. 

Second, thou shalt obey me in all things. 

Third, thou shalt not leave my side unless directed. 

Fourth, thou shalt know that thou art mine. 

However Astarion reacts to this dream, he jolts awake afterwards and instinctively panics that he needs to find a way back to his master as soon as possible. His eyes set on his companions, who are sleeping / meditating peacefully around the fire, and then a thought passes his mind.

He could try to break one of Cazador's rules right then and there. He's able to stand in the sun, to bathe in running water, so maybe…

And that's why he decides to bite a companion. Astarion wakes up utterly terrified of what his master will do to him if he doesn't return to him in an instant - and he knows all too well what kind of horrors would await him if he so much as dares to think about rebelling again (read about that here) - so he is in desperate need of confirmation that he is now able to withstand and actively break the rules that have dominated his life for two centuries.

He needs to know that he is able to drink the blood of a thinking creature. And there they are. His clueless companions served on a silver platter. It's like an invitation to him, to test his boundaries. And who would be more fitting than the good hearted leader of the party Astarion wanted to (or already has) seduce(d) anyway?

This piece of information shed a whole new light on the bite scene. But let's look a bit closer at that. 

The Bite Night 

The very first thing Tav registers about what's going on with Astarion that night is him baring his fangs right above us, about to sink them into our flesh. He pulls back as soon as we open our eyes, retreating immediately until there's a safe distance between him and Tav. 

This may be the first time Tav gets to know that Astarion is a vampire, so he gets defensive and tells us that he's never killed a person for food, only animals. But then, instead of letting the idea of feeding on Tav go, he insists that animals aren't enough. 

But it's not enough. Not if I have to fight. I feel so weak. 

If I just had a little blood, I could think clearer. Fight better. Please. 

Then he goes on, literally pleading to get what he wants while putting on a sad expression in the end, even averting his gaze. 

And if we now have in mind that he just woke up from a nightmare about Cazador, feeling powerless and in desperate need of even a glimpse of hope that he might escape Cazador's cruel grip, his lines make a lot of sense. He's veiling the truth, of course, but not all of what he says is a lie. 

He indeed feels weak - powerless in fact - so drinking Tav's blood (the blood of a thinking creature) could prove that he may have regained a bit of power over himself, which had been exclusively reserved for Cazador the last 200 years. This would absolutely make him feel stronger, more confident than he's felt for a long, long time. 

And he indeed could think clearer after tasting Tav's blood, because this would bring clarity to the question if he is now able to break Cazador's rules on purpose and therefore give him information to work with when he needs to think about what to do next. 

Right after this, we get the chance to push into Astarion's mind, and if we do this, we can see what he thinks about. 

His mind opens up, revealing cracked and quivering memories. At their heart, you see dark eyes, commanding you to feed. 

You open your mouth and bite down. Not into a tender neck, but in the twisting body of a rat - the only thing your master lets you eat. 

He recalls the memory of how his master used to force him to eat disgusting vermin. As his memory is told, we can clearly see how deeply this affects him, for he can't keep up his walls of defensiveness and detachment. They just crack, crumble and reveal his misery clearly for Tav to observe. When we ask him about it directly afterwards, he first seems to search for a way out - a witty remark, anything - but gives up almost immediately. And he looks and sounds just completely defeated and tired, confirming what Tav just saw in his mind. 

He goes on with talking about trust. I think here he's seeing a chance to gain Tav's sympathy. If he already reveals such delicate information about his past, he can as well make use of it. So he appeals to Tav's understanding, offering us that this past is the reason for him only trusting Tav slowly. But then he immediately adds that now he trusts Tav, and that in return Tav can trust him, too. 

What he does here is displaying himself as pitiful, gaining Tav's sympathy, then seemingly going out of his way and saying that despite all he does trust Tav, which puts Tav in the position to follow suit with returning the trust… which Astarion definitely lied about on his part. But that's what he does. Manipulating. 

If we then respond with "You tried to bite me. How can I trust you?" instead of assuring us of his trustworthiness with more manipulation, he gets frustrated. 

Because we don't have a choice! Not if we're going to save ourselves from these worms. 

But he goes on with masking his reasons, even if he gave us a hint right in the beginning of act 1 when we picked him up, where he said that he would rather control the tadpole instead of removing it. If we play as Astarion, it gets clear pretty fast that he holds onto the tadpole, because it seems to be the only thing that had been able to "save" him from Cazador whilst no one and nothing else even attempted to help him for two centuries. Of course he would not want to get rid of the tadpole just like that. But he says so nonetheless to align with Tav's goals and display himself as useful. 

And then he does something interesting. 

I need you alive. You need me strong. 

Please. Only be a taste, I swear. I'll be well, you'll be fine, and everything can go back to normal. 

In the beginning of this conversation he mentioned he needed the blood to fight better. Now he takes up on this by saying that Tav needs him strong, hinting on him getting stronger after having a taste of Tav's blood. And then he promises that after this "everything can go back to normal", which right now means Astarion feeding on animals again. 

A few things about this are odd. 

Firstly, "only be a taste". Everyone, literally everyone has heard about the insatiable hunger of vampires. So how is it supposed to work that Astarion gets stronger from just a taste of Tav's blood? For how long? A few hours? Not nearly long enough to pose a real advantage, eh? For me this makes no sense. And if we think about his true intentions - wanting to find out if he can break Cazador's rule - just a taste would be absolutely enough. (And after he bites Tav without killing them, he even says that he needs something more filling!) 

Secondly, if Astarion really wanted to become stronger with the help of Tav's blood, why would he promise to go back to normal afterwards? He just offered Tav a stronger companion but then immediately nullified this argument by literally saying that this will be a one time arrangement. 

Thirdly, he subtly offers a bargain. "You give me your blood, I will be a stronger fighter for you." He did so in the beginning as well, repeating it with different words. And it fits his character very well to do so, because for all he knows everything comes with a price. He almost gets beaten to death and Cazador mercifully comes to his rescue? The price is a never ending life of torment and abuse. Astarion helps a potential victim for Cazador to flee? The price is a year of starvation, locked up in a dusty and dark tomb without knowing if it will ever find an end. Mindflayers rescued him from Cazador, (passively) granting him to possibly be free of him at last? The price is becoming a tentacled monster in the end. 

If we then allow him to bite us, he's visibly surprised about our graciousness, but of course doesn't let this chance slip and suggests getting comfortable instantly. Then he finally gets to sink his teeth into Tav's neck. This part of the scene can more or less be viewed from both sides - Astarion's and Tav's. 

He begins to feed on Tav and after a bit we can decide to interrupt him, but have to pass an ability check first. This repeats a second time when playing Tav, and even if it's only one AC when we play Astarion and decide to bite a companion, it still aligns, showing that Astarion seemingly loses himself in the taste of Tav's blood - which is very likely because (as he later tells us) we were the first humanoid he's ever fed on, so it's imaginable that Tav's blood must be tasting almost divine to him. 

This theory is supported by his actions after we fail the first AC or just let him continue. He grabs the back of Tav's head to pull them towards himself, emphasising on how greedy he is sucking the blood out of Tav. The camera even uses the exact same angles before failing or skipping the first AC and after, so the comparison is easy and the difference is clear:

If we then fail or skip the next AC, Astarion just drains us dry… And it gets even better after the bite night. 

The Morning After 

When Tav gets revived and then talks to Astarion, he is visibly surprised to see us, after he left the dead body of Tav behind with saying "Oh no, something terrible has happened". Sure Astarion, something… 

All of this happens when Astarion still doesn't care for Tav. He reacts with panic when we confront him with the fact that he literally killed us, and just manages to get his expression under control after a few seconds. I mean, just look at him:

'Killed' feels like a strong word. Not many corpses have your vigour. 

He definitely knows what he's done, and that 'killed' is indeed the right word for it, he is just very very bad at coping with guilt (which is amazingly analysed by thelikesoffinn - definitely read this, you'll understand Astarion so much better after this). 

He instantly lays the focus on our codependency again, that we need each other and so on. If we question why we should keep him around, he answers with:

A strong, well-fed vampire? I'm a powerful weapon - you'd be a fool to toss me aside now. 

With mentioning this, he wants to make sure that Tav will let him stay by their side and therefore grant him protection. 

But more importantly he continues:

Anyway, last night was an aberration. It will never happen again. 

He doesn't even start with something like "Next time I'll be more careful" or anything similar. He straight up says that it will never happen again. Period. If we then ask who he will feed on next time he gets hungry, he presents the idea of feeding on villains and bandits "who need killing anyway". And this is exactly what he wants. This even shows in his reaction to Tav's response to his suggestion.

If we agree and therefore allow him to feed on our enemies ("Sounds good. Glad we could agree"), this is how he reacts:

As am I. I'm starting to feel a little peckish already. 

This itself doesn't sound all too enthusiastic, but we get his approval up, which definitely shows that he very much likes that Tav agreed. 

On the contrary, if we suggest he can feed on Tav, ignoring his will wish to feed on villains ("Look, I'm not against you feeding on me, but only if we talk about it first"), this is his reaction:

Of course! This sounds eminently reasonable. 

I shall wait patiently until you suggest we… dine together. 

Doesn't sound too bad either, eh? But we don't get his approval. He doesn't disapprove, of course, because this is still a thousand times better than what he had until then, but still not what he really wants… 

So, what does all of this mean for the initial question? 

Conclusion 

The crucial point here is what it means for Astarion to feed on Tav. The only things he remembers since Cazador turned him, are being relentlessly dominated and horrifyingly abused. The things Astarion wants the most are to be safe and to finally have control over himself again. 

He bit Tav for the sole purpose of finding out if he can be free of Cazador's rules. So why would he jump right into being dependent on Tav? He suggests to feed on villains, because then he is free of anyone's mercy. He doesn't need to rely on Tav to graciously allow him to get a drop of blood. He can do this himself now. 

This is such an important step for his character growth, to find the way to his autonomy again, so if we only allow him to feed on Tav, it instantly sets him back into old habits of bowing to his masters words - or in this case Tav's. Because it's all hes been doing for the last two centuries of his life. 

So, as much as the thought of the self-sacrificing offer to be his personal blood bag may seem romantic or whatever, it's actually the exact opposite, trapping Astarion in what he desperately tries to escape from. The restrictions that come with someone dominating him mentally and physically. And as I mentioned earlier, he doesn't believe in the goodness of people. For him every "kind" act has a price and he likes to know what he has to pay, so he wouldn't even want to just drink Tav's blood without Tav getting anything out of it. He would most certainly expect Tav one day to come around with something he doesn't want to give or do, so he wants to control such situations beforehand. 

All he wants is to make his own decisions and be free in every way possible… 

So please just let him drain some bandits, will ya? 

[lucky-clover-gazette]

so i know the amandafiles sneasler rant went pretty viral on here, but the real highlights of her pokemon legends arceus playthrough were her unhinged volo-related rants. this one is probably my favorite but there were many and i will absolutely clip and transcribe (not by hand i'm not that insane) more of them if asked

transcript under the cut:

Yeah. So, um, I'm just kind of leaving the scene of the crime now. And hopefully Adaman is still interested. That's all I have to say. Yeah, that's my statement at this time. Thank you. Thank you! Yeah, mhm. Bye.

Like, what. Is Volo gonna fucking pop out at me from the shadows over here? Is anybody around to talk to me? Like, about what just happened?

(Sees Melli.) Not what I meant, but um, you know what? Fuck it, Melli, guess what just happened. So, you know that guy Volo? Basically, like, we were talking, right? It was actually going pretty well. You know, just like this nerd, and he was like, so cute and so, like, excited about history and stuff, and, like, I was really feeling that, you know, and I dunno, he was, like, my champion. He was there for me when no one else was. He, like, picked me up off the ground at my lowest point. He was always cheering me on. He was always, like, hyping me up to other people. Wouldn't that be awesome, Mellie, if like someone ever did that for you? Not that that would ever happen, of course, but, like, can you imagine, like, someone being out there being like, "yes, like, that's the one, like, that's my girl. She's been doing it like, she's working so hard." That was Volo for me.

Melli, imagine my surprise when I go up to the mountain there because—we did this whole thing. Basically, I'm an important person. You wouldn't really understand. I, like, collected all these artifacts. I thought we were going to, like, do this thing that was important to, like, the history of the world.

But turns out Volo was fucking insane. And, like, no, I truly mean that, like crazy and saying he was like, a totally different person. He had been cosplaying as a normie the entire time. He's really a serial killer, I think. He's like a lunatic, right? Like, a cringey one. He did his hair. So he, like, is obsessed with Arceus. Right. The god pokémon. And Arceus, like—have you ever seen a picture of him? I'll pull it up on my Arc Phone real quick. He's got these, like, horns that come back and stuff. Bitch, he did his HAIR like this. AHH! I know. I got, like, a little picture of it. Look at him! An entire bottle of American Crew.

He, like, totally thought he ate that, but, like, he didn't. It looked so bad, but, like, that was the least of it. He was—his eyes got crazy. He was wearing, like, bright green capris and gladiator sandals. AHH! Melli, I know. it was fucked up. You know, it's like how quickly they change when you find out, like, what they really were after and what they really want. It was stunning. Startling, Melli, it's really like—have you ever had, like, an experience like that before with a guy? Probably not, since you're so insufferable and, like, you probably have never had anyone show interest in you before, platonically or otherwise, but maybe, like, read a book or something where that happened. That happened to me. That happened to me today.

I really had a huge crush on this guy. Like, to the point where I thought he was the one, Melli, I really did. I was like, ready to leave this whole place with him. Travel the world, and I won't lie to you, um… if he had been like, "Hey, you want to be crazy together? You want to be crazy with me?" I might have done it. I might have also tried that lifestyle out for a minute. I would have tried, like, the villain arc thing out… but lucky for you, it didn't work out. Otherwise, you would have been right on the top of my list. But anyway, yeah, I ended up, like, totally embarrassing him. We did a pokémon battle and he just fucking violently lost.

And then he teamed up with, like, the satan pokémon? It was weird. And they tried their little thing. It was cute. It was very cute. You know, I have to give it—it was camp, It was cute, it was like rehearsed. There was some choreography. It was cute, but obviously they lost horribly. But anyway, yeah, that's, uh. That's how my Tuesday's going. And I'm going to stop you there, Melli, because I really don't care. This wasn't an open invitation for you to talk. I just wanted to let someone know what had just happened.

[michanvalentine]

Since I talked about my favorite sad Astarion lines, today I’m indulging in some of the funniest ones instead! There are obviously so many—he’s always a delight, at least by my standards. I adore him because, among other things, he’s truly an embarrassing little gremlin. I swear, I don’t know how anyone finds him annoying when teasing him is the most entertaining thing in the world! xD

"Next time? No, no, no." This entire scene has become iconic. It’s simply amazing—what he says, how he says it. I could watch it on a loop with a dumb grin plastered on my face the whole time. He’s absolutely losing it, completely unhinged, and I love him for it. I don’t care about the disapproval, I don’t care that he got splattered under Lathander’s monastery, and I don’t even care about the gold I had to pay Withers for his resurrection. I’d do it a thousand times over, just to have him scream in my face again! xD For the record, the first time I played, I had no idea what was going on and grabbed the weapon without thinking. Then, in full panic mode, I smashed the whole contraption, not even realizing I could escape. The second time, I did things properly and solved the puzzle. But the third time? I went there with the sole purpose of making Astarion lose his mind. It was premeditated. I left him there while I happily ran away, fully knowing what would happen to him. Forgive me, little Star, you know I love you. <3

"Can we kill them? Please, pretty please?" This one caught me off guard, but I absolutely adore it. Neil is, as always, brilliant. It kills me because everything about his body language—on top of the tone of his voice—screams how badly he wants to do it. After all, he’s a vampire, a predator, and as such, he has certain instincts. He crouches slightly, leans forward, and just the thought of it practically makes him pant. A real, proper vampire, who’s almost about to come in his pants at the mere idea of spilling blood. <3 But there’s also a bittersweet note here. The line makes me laugh so much, especially because, among other things, he’s asking for permission to do something horrible in such a cute and playful way. But that’s just it—Astarion is asking for permission from Tav/Durge, subtly emphasizing the dependent relationship that binds them, especially in the beginning. It’s almost like he’s addressing his new master.

"It's not you, it's me. I have standards." I die every time I hear this line, every time I see that smug, punchable face of his when he says it. It’s never actually happened in any of my playthroughs, but it always makes me laugh out loud—complete with a head shake at how utterly… insufferable he is. Seriously, how can you not love him? And let’s be real—his actual standards? The average Astarion-approved partner is a drunken whoremonger at a brothel, probably a full-blown degenerate. I love how he tries to act all refined, as if he’s some discerning, high-class individual who only picks the best. Yeah, sure, babe. Anyway, Tav/Durge must have really pissed him off to get a response like that. But still, I can’t help but laugh—and, weirdly enough, find it kind of endearing. Because even though he’s got the most slappable face in that moment, he's also hiding his vulnerability, and that’s exactly what makes it so good. Astarion is a walking contradiction, and that’s what makes him such a brilliantly layered character—one who constantly makes you feel a whirlwind of emotions, often conflicting ones.

"Gods above, look at you..." No, I’m done. I’m dying. You transform into a horrifying monster with unsettling fangs and four clawed arms, you get horrified stares, concern, and even a full-on scolding from the entire camp—and then there’s him. He just lifts his gaze, completely unfazed, and says this in an almost admiring, even flirtatious tone. The contrast in reactions absolutely kills me. Sure, Astarion is a vampire, a monster in his own right, but there’s a big difference between a smelly Slayer and a pale, well-dressed, ridiculously handsome elf. There's also the possibility that, after everything he’s been through with Cazador, nothing truly horrifies him anymore. But what I love—besides how hilarious this moment is—is that, out of all the companions, he probably has the fewest lines where he actually judges Tav/Durge. At most, he might call them naive if they act like a hero or see the world as a just place. But beyond that? He doesn’t criticize. He accepts almost everything.

"You have a type, don’t you? Elven prostitutes." This line completely caught me off guard—I had to actually stop and think about it to fully get it. And even then, I kept questioning whether he was really saying what I thought he was saying. And yes. Yes, he absolutely is! I lost it. At first, I didn't even connect the dots that he was talking about himself, so obviously, if I’d been visiting brothels and then ended up with him, I had a type! xD I know, I know—the subtext is actually kind of sad. But that's exactly what makes the line so brilliant! Once again, it’s layered with meaning. There's a bit of resentment, his low opinion of himself, his harsh realism, and of course, his ever-present sarcasm. And yet, it’s still funny. Honestly, I’ve never encountered a character before Astarion who can express so much and evoke so much in just a single line. <3

"I'm actually a princess of House Nightstar." This one kills me every time. Especially the way Neil spits out the name of the tarrasque, Jhonatan. The moment I hear "Jhonatan," I completely lose it. This is, of course, pure sarcasm—his go-to defense mechanism to keep people at arm’s length and wriggle out of uncomfortable situations. Tav/Durge is telling him not to hide things anymore, and we all know Astarion hates talking about himself, especially when it comes to painful or difficult topics like his scars or the deal with Mephistopheles. And naturally, this is how he responds. I just can’t! He’s such an idiot! I love him. And for the record... Jhonatan is one of us! A fantastic husband, I’m sure of it! Someone should absolutely write an Astarion x Jhonatan fanfic. xD

I'll stop here for now. I have a million more favorites I could add, but honestly, pretty much everything Astarion says deserves a discussion of its own! Maybe, when I just can't help myself anymore, I'll make another post about his other fantastic lines. xD

[meanbossart]

I realize this is a weirdly specific question, but what was DU Drow’s experience like first waking up on the Nautiloid/on the beach?

Like, was he wearing Bhaalist stuff when he woke up then? If he was, did he ditch it right away or did he just leave it on until he found gear in better shape or maybe just didn’t want to associate with that symbolism/organization anymore? Like what was the thought process for him there, assuming that were the case??? If he was wearing something else, what might it have been?

I ask because I finally started my first Dark Urge playthrough yesterday (YIPPEE) and am plagued with thoughts about my guy, wondering if maybe he had some Bhaalist gear on when he first fell out of the Nautiloid that slowly was switched out for other things as the story progressed. Then I was like “oh hey what about Drow??? What was going through his head when he woke up that morning on the beach??????” Especially bc I can’t imagine he had much time to look at what he was wearing on the Nautiloid while it was still flying around.

ANYWAYS. Apologies for the ramble, my brain is plagued with thoughts now that I’m finally doing a Durge run so I might come at you with more random ass questions in the future >:)))

First of all AYYYY have fun with your first durge run!!! I'm always open to more questions if they happen to pop up throughout the experience.

Now to your question: An Interesting one! Though my answer might be disappointing LOL

In my personal lore, DU drow woke up from the tank with nothing but some scrappy underwear on - hell, It would probably make more sense if he was fully nude, even, but that would make many of the companion introductions a little too awkward - so, tattered underwear it is.

Considering what Kressa had been doing to him, I imagine that she would have either removed or destroyed his clothes at some point during the experimentation. DU drow was stuck with her for at least a few weeks - so, even if she didn't promptly undress him, his outfit would have been far too slashed, cut, and caked with old blood to keep, and likely torn off so it would stop getting in the way.

Her husband (I think he's the one who ships you away, if memory serves me right) would have had little reason to send him off with dignity - BUT perhaps he slipped some briefs back onto the drow's body because he felt ashamed of the implications of his wife keeping a battered, nude man around.

So, DU drow slides out of his pod, caked with old blood with only some ill-fitting linens covering his groin. He picks up whatever sharp object he finds lying around for self defense and proceeds through the ship, barefoot, hair matted, having no idea who he is, what he looks like, or how he got here. He's completely overtaken by his self-preservation instincts and being confused is second to getting out of his situation alive. He goes along with Lae'zel because she seems to have at least some idea of what's going on, and he frees Shadowheart from her pod because she seems more trustworthy than Lae'zel.

He probably stripped the trousers off of one of the corpses lying around the beach after the actual crash (they would have been a little tight, but it's better than nothing) and god-willing was able to snatch some fresher underwear at the grove or something. The only indicatives he had of a past life were his scars, and I guess his unusual features. The thing is - whenever he first caught sight of his reflection, he very much liked what he saw looking back. Someone else might have been shocked by their appearance, but what DU drow felt would have been more akin to a kind of relief - I'm strong. I'm big. I'm intimidating. Good. As it should be.

And well... There's not much reason to give it thought past that. His looks feel right, he thinks he looks attractive, even his scars are somewhat comforting. Tadpole and odd company aside, it actually feels nice to be himself right now, so why ruin it with questions and concerns.

[some-triangles]

I am now at a level of obsession with Disco Elysium where I am watching at least a little bit of every playthrough I come across. Last time this happened was with Undertale almost a decade ago. With UT this helped me get a very thorough handle on the way the game was designed and with the subtler bits of player manipulation. DE is not subtle about anything and so instead I'm getting insights into the people playing it, particularly as it spreads beyond the youtube leftist bubble.

The one I'm having the most fun with right now is by this guy named Brady, who is a therapist specializing in addiction. The fun part is not so much his insight into Harry as an addict - again, the game is not subtle - but his absolute discomfort with politics. He refuses to engage with any of the ideological choices, and that makes the game a bit of a bumpy ride for him. It's particularly striking because he's willing to read into everything else that goes on in Harry's brain - he breaks out his Johari windows and his CBT flowcharts and pins the butterfly right to the corkboard - but he shuts down when the game asks him to pick a side.

To extrapolate wildly from one dude's hangups, I think this is just part of the deal with therapy. The aim of a therapist is to make the subject more functional (particularly these days, when if you're lucky insurance will pay for ten sessions, and you better document exactly what worksheets you made your patients fill out) - and being functional means being able to be happy and productive in the society you're currently living in. If I go to a therapist and say I'm bummed out about all the murdering my government is doing they will suggest I stop watching the news, or, if I'm lucky, they'll try to help me figure out why I feel guilt about things I can't control. Delving into the whys and hows of said murdering is actively counterproductive.

This is not to say that therapy is inherently bad, or, like, counterrevolutionary, because making you a more functional person does help with a lot of things, including your ability to help others. It's just a useful thing to keep in mind when therapy and politics bump into each other. I read this paper when I was googling ABA for podcast reasons and it stuck with me. The thesis boils down to: because the world is imperfect and people need skills to live in it we should continue to torture children, and we don't have enough research to conclude that torture could be traumatic. This is on one level reasonable and on one level insane. It depends where you stand, and whether you think "ability to express affection towards parents" is worth that kind of intervention. But the authors wouldn't construe this as a political argument.

Anyway: with all this in mind, I very much recommend reading "The Saint of Bright Doors", which we will be covering on wizards vs lesbians soon.

[litsenn]

Bonding with Astarion in Act 2 (hc)

Reposting this little thingy because I'm no longer satisfied by the original post - not in terms of content (I still feel the same about it), but for the forms. I don't think I expressed myself as I wanted to. Here is the new version.

---

You know that thing Astarion says when we enter the Shadowlands:

"It feels like we're being watched, hunted even, but there is nothing out there, only more darkness. I much prefer it when I'm the one prowling in the shadows, about to strike."

I can't help thinking that Astarion feels deeply uncomfortable in those lands (just look at his face) - there is no daylight which could slow down Cazador if he was after him, and there's nothing to feed on, it reminds him of the darkness he is supposed to belong to (as a vampire spawn), etc. From my first playthrough onward, my interpretation is that he hates everything about it.

But what if you notice that he hates those lands, that he can barely rest when he's in camp, that he looks particularly anxious?

Instead of resting "at night" (there's no daylight in this place anyway), you start to spend hours hanging around in camp with Astarion, to talk and gossip and joke, to distract him from his fears.

That's how you too become particularly close, that's what fortifies your relation (whatever it is). During those moments, you both open up a little more progressively, and you really start to trust each other on a much deeper level.

According to my hc, you don't have sex anymore - last time was a few weeks or so before you entered the Shadowlands. Probably in the Mountain Pass. But many things happened since (such as the Underdark events for instance, depending on your own chronology). Besides, your respective inner struggles with your feelings toward each others make it difficult to be physically intimate again. And now, in the Shadowlands, none of you is feeling comfortable enough to indulge into lust anyway.

Talking feels nice. More than enough. Perfect even. You want to hear more about him, you want to tell him about you, and Astarion shares that desire.

So while the rest of the party is asleep, you both talk and joke and open up and discover what it means to simply enjoy each other's company, without any pressure. No specific expectation.

Eventually, Astarion starts to feel perfectly safe with you, finally capable of falling asleep next to you (always in a 100% platonic way)...

// Until that night if you're Durge... when you wake him up and tell him about your urges.... Terrified because a part of you wants to kill him. After that confusing, scary night, Astarion is probably more careful and avoids sleeping next to you for a while ; he'll rest, but never fully unconscious.//

At this point, you've reached a fundamental step in your relationship, and Astarion wants to trust you (Durge or Tav alike).

You're both discovering what emotional intimacy means, and you both enjoy it a great deal. As for how to feed him, see that post

The culminating point is, of course, the confession scene, but all those hours you spent together while the others were asleep really paved the way for it.

[ohandcounting]

Getting The Most Out Of Deltarune Chapters 1+2+3+4: The Mega Guide.

If you are the rare person who heard about Deltarune (the parallel story to Undertale, by Toby Fox!) through the recent Nintendo Switch 2 Direct, this is for you. This is also a good resource for anyone that's just been out of the loop, or wants to make sure they've "seen it all" before getting to the next chapter.

It details not just what to play before Deltarune's new release content, but also has tips to make sure you don't miss anything important while getting through it without wasting time and what happened between releases so you can go in with the same full experience I've had waiting for it to release for the past 7 years. You've got a little under 2 months to pull this off, so I'd get started right away! All of it is below this read more, and it comes with only the necessary spoilers to save you some time. You can read it all in one go before starting any of the games, if you want. It's like, 10 years of stuff in here though. Take your time. If I missed anything, tell me and I'll edit it in. The best way to read this post is on my blog so you can see any of these edits. Feel free to share this around, make a video essay where you just read this off word for word, and/or repost it in any other fashion. I just want people enjoying the games! Credit is appreciated of course.

The Undertale Essentials

1

Go play Undertale! (you can skip any steps you've done before) It's on Steam, Xbox, Playstation, Switch. You can find android mobile ports of it pretty easily too, apparently. You can find a way to play it, I promise.

Just get to the end however you want, it largely doesn't matter what you do since a large appeal of the game is it reacting to your decisions. But if you get an encounter with no enemies, that means you've killed enough of them to activate an optional mode that skips a lot of the normal stuff in the game. So I would quit out to reload your save in that instance. You absolutely need to experience the game that started it all because a lot of Deltarune's enjoyment comes from the knowledge you'd have after playing this game first! Including the music! Don't mute the game just because you think the Ruins music is kinda mid!

2

Play Undertale...Again! This time, you need to be going for the True Pacifist Ending. Which just means you do all the important side quests, and don't kill anyone at all.* Don't worry about this being boring, there's actually plenty of unique dialog for a second playthrough.** If you don't super-kill The Flower™ from the trailer and all the marketing during a playthrough, he'll give you tips and hints on how to do it without having to look up a guide after the normal final boss. But really just try and maximize the dialog you see in this playthrough and you should get it. Just make sure you pour water on the blue lady after she passes out in the lava area, if you leave the screen on accident before pouring the water on her it locks you out of a side quest and you'll have to load a save from before the boss fight. If you save after this, that means you have to start all the way over...again again! *if you never killed anyone in your first playthrough and didn't lock yourself out of any important sides quests, you can just hit continue to load into the room before the finale, and go back to do the side stuff you missed. **If you can't tell that the dialog is new, that means you can't complain about it being boring since you didn't remember the original dialog anyways! (This is a spiteful remark towards my biological older sister)

3

Play Undertale...Again Again Again! In step 1, I mentioned an optional mode that skipped a lot of the normal parts of the game. Well now you're going to do that on purpose, by not fighting an area's boss until you've exhausted the encounter limit. It's one of my favorite parts of the game to play. This can only be done by Fighting enemies until they fall to ashes before you, and stop showing up entirely. After the first area, save points start giving you an enemy count so you can't miss them on accident. Do this for the whole game, and you'll be able to reach The Final Conclusion to Undertale.

...Or...

You could watch someone else do it. (Don't click that out of curiosity if you're not at this step yet, it starts with super spoilers for the True Pacifist Ending!) This video playthrough features no commentary and uses YouTube's chapters feature, allowing you to skip through the monotonous enemy grinding if you just want to see what's new. Not everyone wants to do this playthrough, for obvious reasons.

This step might feel optional, but it's so important that I would highly recommend watching the video if you don't want to play it yourself. (You can check the end of this video yourself even if you played it, as this ending does change some things in other parts of the game!)

Congratulations! You've now finished The Undertale Essentials! (or you already did all of this like 10 years ago) Time to move on to...

The Extracurriculars!: Part 1

I don't believe any of this section is skippable if you want to really get the most out of Deltarune, despite the name. Feel free to use this time to think about Undertale even more, on a deeper level. These are events that happened between Undertale and the surprise release of Deltarune Chapter 1. Starting with...

The UNDERTALE Anniversary Q&A

Just make sure you read those instructions! It's not very long, so you could read it all in a single bathroom break.

The UNDERTALE 2nd Anniversary Alarm Clock announcement

This has since been cancelled, but it has some unique dialog for the characters found nowhere else. Again, very short.

The trailer for UNDERTALE's Switch release I guess?

This one is just funny, I really like this trailer. It didn't even release for the third anniversary on time outside of Japan. However, there is a fan favorite Exclusive Boss Fight and also Whatever This Is (<- 1/100 chance) that you'll miss if you didn't play the game on Switch! These are essential to know about going forward, as it's effectively two entirely new characters.

Here's the Exclusive Dog Shrine for the Playstation release, which is...Not Important...I'm watching this just now for the first time and it kind of sucks...badly. Okay just this one is skippable.

The Deltarune Essentials: Chapter 1

0

I want to take a moment to set the mood here for you. We just had the Switch release for Undertale, for the third anniversary. Nobody is expecting anything from Toby, who's now a multi-millionaire off of game sales alone (official merch comes from Fangamer, I wouldn't look at it yet though as you might run into spoilers) and if he does release anything else, we expect it to be just his "next project."

Then, the morning of October 30th, the day before Halloween, the official Undertale account tweets this and this. Then, after waiting a full 24 hours and finally downloading the new thing is greets you with THIS terrifying premise.

Now, after reading that, it is finally time for...

1

Playing Deltarune! But just chapter 1. It's free! After installing it, if it's the steam version, right click it and open up the "properties..." menu. Then go down to Betas and set it to "chapter1.2.lts.test - 11-25-24" to make sure you're playing the latest version, if you can't it's not a big deal but this does make some changes that will be in the final game. Meaning it's just a way to play the final-ish version of chapter 1 a bit early!

It's your first playthrough, just do whatever you like. It's only a single chapter rather than an entire game, so replaying it won't take nearly as long even if you mess something up. I will warn you though, you will need at least 90 minutes in a row after fighting the final boss of Card Castle to complete the next section that has no save points. This is, technically, for the best. You'll see. But please, for your own sake, do not start Chapter 2 yet. I promise, it's worth it.

2

Playing Deltarune But Just Chapter 1...Again! Or don't. While I do personally recommend playing through it again and doing the opposite of what you did the first time, that's not really important. At least not that we can tell yet. What you will want to do is loading your first save file, and then making sure you have the White Ribbon armor item and watching the chapter 1 portion of this guide (it starts in partway through the video to avoid spoilers, make sure you stop the video before he starts talking about chapter 2!) to make sure you didn't miss anything important for Chapter 2!

This is just a general playthrough tip: When you're in town, you can just go all the way down to the bunker at the south-most area first thing. This will let you explore through the town in "layers", making it hard to miss anything that isn't hidden (the guide does mention the hidden part of the town!) Really, the most important part is just talking to sinks before anyone else in the room though.

Now that you've finished Chapter 1, it's time for...

The Extracurriculars!: Part 2

At this point, you're probably thinking to yourself "Why should I wait? Why would I not just go into the next part of the game now? Why do all these extra parts?" The simple answer is, Deltarune uses its Chapter releases to give you time to think about it. Probably, too much time, given the way some of us react to it. But this does play into its strengths as a series, giving us tidbits and mysteries to dive into. Trying to predict and figure out what's being foreshadowed and find the characters hidden and all the little interactions you could of missed. This really is the true strength of the series, and why people love talking about it. There's so much to find, there's almost always more you haven't seen.

This section covers the events that happened between chapters 1 and 2 of Deltarune. It's honestly quite a doozy, but less of it as vital as last time. Starting with:

Toby Fox talking about his thoughts on the game he's been working on since 2012.

Yeah, it turns out Deltarune started development before he even started working on Undertale. This is more or less unimportant if you don't care about Toby Fox or the creation of the game.

Honestly a lot of what's here and between the 5th Anniversary is mostly little tweets here and there. If you DO care about a little behind the scenes stuff, you'll just have to open the TobyFox's twitter account and scroll down until you see the big blue "Windows protected your PC" images because everyone's PC's thought he was releasing a virus because he called the game "SURVEY_PROGRAM" lol. (then you can start scrolling up to see the stuff!)

Also the Chapter 1 Demo released on Switch with a very funny trailer

Seriously though, it's all just other stuff he's worked on, jokes, behind the scenes/scrapped content, or previews for chapter 2 which you're about to play anyways.

This all changed on the 5th anniversary however...

THE UNDERTALE 5th Anniversary Orchestra Concert

This doesn't have much exclusive in it (excluding the music itself, of course) other than a commercial for some merchandise that was released on the 5th anniversary. There are also some piano covers from Toby Fox himself at the 3:03:00 mark, including a song you might not of heard yet. It's a very fun listen and watch, but it isn't vital if you just care about the story and characters instead of the music. Somehow. (If you played through the game muted you're doing it wrong [Unless you're deaf. Sorry.])

The UNDERTALE 5th Anniversary Alarm Clock Dialog

Unlike the other alarm clock dialog, this is actually very entwined with the characters, to the point where despite it being their Undertale versions, it actually gives insight for their Deltarune versions as well. A very important read, if you ask me, and very enjoyable if you just like the characters. Not nearly as short as last time, but it's sectioned so you can come back to your spot easily it if you get interrupted.

The UNDERTALE 5th Anniversary Deltarune Status Update

This is more or less just talking about how far along chapter 2 was, and why it's been taking so long! Non-vital if none of that interests you, but there are some cool screenshots of Chapter 2.

Microsoft (probably) paid Toby a ton of money to release the game on Xbox for some reason lol

Again really funny trailer. Here's most of the Exclusive Xbox Stuff (the rest can be found here, thanks @undertale-encyclopedia for having such a good pinned post) which doesn't sucks and gives more information on a few characters, even some we only meet in Deltarune!

Now for the 6th anniversary we have something very special.

The UNDERTALE 6th Anniversary SO WE PLAY deltarune CHAPTER 1 FOR SOME REASON live stream featuring 3 dads

This is really cool and important to the experience if you ask me! I genuinely recommend watching it, beginning to end, skipping nothing and keeping your eyes peeled throughout. It's not a very "normal" playthrough, and the waiting periods have exclusive songs & information.

You'll see why at the end of it, but now that you've definitely watched that entire video (it's okay if you did it at 2x speed) it's time for...

The Deltarune Essentials: Chapter 2

0

More spooky tweets...So Spooky...

1

Playing Deltarune Chapter 2! Your first playthrough, do whatever you want. There aren't any long stretches without save points this time either. I highly recommend getting at least 1 of everything you come across and keeping it safe, with your new storage ability this shouldn't be too hard. There's plenty of secrets to find too, so keep an eye out!

This will save you a lot of time though: There is a part in Chapter 2 where the party changes in some meaningful way I'm being intentionally vague about. As SOON as this happens, use the new Chapter 2 save menu to copy your save into an unused save slot (I recommend the bottom slot) and don't touch it or save over it for the rest of this playthrough.

There is a hidden B-side route, requiring either a guide to go through it or someone behind your shoulder telling you what to do. Saving at this moment will allow you to do this B-side route, without having to start the chapter over from the beginning. Having someone telling you what to do is the recommended way to do it.

2

Do the hidden B-side route, which is significantly shorter than a normal playthrough. If you saved in the correct spot, you should have a save file ready to go right before the branching point. Again, someone else telling you what to do is recommended. But if you need a guide for it, there's one on the wiki in the "Method" section near the top. Try not to read anything outside of it.

I recommend to stop reading the guide as soon as possible, as once the route is initiated a low-pitched sound will play whenever you successfully keep the route going. If a different sound plays, you have aborted this B-side route, meaning you need to reload your last save. If you get stuck, you can go back to the guide as necessary. Do note that you WILL need to find The Dumpster and buy from it.

After you Do-The-Thing with the Dumpster-Thing-You-Need-To-Remember-To-Equip, you'll be locked in, so you won't need to consult the guide anymore for the rest of the playthrough.

3

You can now watch the entire "Making PERFECT Deltarune Save files..." video beginning to end, I originally linked it at the 6:40 mark, so you can watch what was before that to see what spoilers I skipped. If you just want the Chapter 2 guide portion, it starts at 13:30. This step of "making perfect save files" is technically skippable, but there are some REALLY good items in Chapter 2 that are VERY missable! This will make sure you get them all, maximizing your Chapters 3 & 4 experience. But this one really isn't vital if you're enough of a gamer to not need strong items for "optional" hidden bosses. Oh, and make sure you talk to sinks before people whenever possible.

The Extracurriculars!: Finale

The Finale. All the extra bits and pieces that have been dropped for us here and there as we've been waiting for the past 3 and a half years for that Trailer. You may not want to read this section until after you're done with Chapter 2! It's easily the longest section to get through. But I'm sure you've been wondering...

Who the hell is that guy from the intro that's been making those spooky tweets before chapter releases? and Part 2 of it. These videos are, of course, not gospel (something like this really can't have one) But it's a very good summary of the information we have and what the common consensus was/is for some things.

Also there's been this unused code that has a person talking the entire time lol. This actually changed between the chapter 1 and chapter 2 release. This is probably Dess? Who you may or may not even know exists at all. Hope you've been paying attention!

The UNDERTALE 7th Anniversary Deltarune Status Update

This one has content you, someone who just played Chapter 2, will actually care about! It previews content and music for chapters 3 & 4, but still effectively tells us nothing! It's awesome! More importantly though it tells you about

THE SPAMTON SWEEPSTAKES

Don't watch the video at the top. This is for your own safety. You can't handle it. Not Yet. This features tons of exclusive music, previews of stuff you already saw and other stuff that wasn't featured in the Switch 2 direct trailer, and ads that you actually SHOULD click on. Can you find all 26 hidden pages? No? Are you sure you checked the product descriptions really thoroughly? Okay here's the wiki page that lists them all. Really do go through them all though, there's a lot of character building that just won't happen in the game here! Also, here's a live Spamton FAQ that got buried in Fangamer's twitter for some reason. Very funny and informative.

Successfully managing to get through all 26 hidden pages, and reading all of the text on the normal page, and the FAQ, should inoculate you to [Spamton's Essense] allowing you to now watch the video at the top of the sweepstakes page. I am not liable for any injures you suffer.

THE NEWSLETTERS

After this, everything became consolidated into Seasonal Newsletters (sign up here, I recommend truck freak) that are archived here on Toby Fox's website. Just click into the Newsletter archive, and scroll down to the bottom first and work your way up. Seriously, just go up through them and enjoy what we've been waiting for months apart.

These talk about everything Toby Fox has been working on and have cool stuff like interviews with the characters and also real people who work on the games! It'll cover a couple things that happened before this section too, so don't worry about me missing anything if you think I haven't mentioned it here. However, there are some famitsu articles linked, and you may notice that when you try to read them...that you do not speak japanese...

Here's translations by @chartcarr of pretty much every Toby Fox Japanese only interview! You can find the one's mentioned in the newsletters under the "Toby Fox's Secret Base" link if they're not on the front page.

Newsletter Issue #5 Has 3 Random Valentine's Day Cards. Here's All Of Them In One Page. We had to hunt these down as a community, together! It was brutal! A lot of them only went to a few people, and if those people weren't online or aware we didn't have theirs yet, we just didn't have it! It was great.

All that's left for you now is to remember to click the snowman at the bottom of Issue 8.

Big Questions FAQ:

This Series Has Irrevocably Rewired My Brain How Do I Cope With This

Watch this. It's a great video, even if you don't have this problem. It's basically what happened to me.

How Do I Become A Theory Lord With All Of This In My Brain Now?

Here's Device Theory, by @m0llystars, it should get your gears turning just watching it. Yes all 3 parts are out. It's especially worth your time if you like thinking about this game perhaps a bit too much really.

I Really Need Specifically More Undertale Not Deltarune Right NOW!!!...Please?

Here's an Undertale exhibition by Shayy on the show That's Never Happened Before. You can probably just google "Undertale Theory" or something though if this isn't enough.

I Need To Give This Man More Than The $1-$35 I Have Already Given Him For His Game(s), How?

Official Merch can be found here, there are also EU and JPN sites linked at the bottom of the page. Here is the Bandcamp page to Buy the digital versions of the soundtracks (also on most streaming platforms)

I Like Music Theories

Here you go!

All Of This Happened So Fast I Need Something To Help Analyze The Characters In This Largely Character Driven Series! Help?!

Here's Dorked's Undertale & Deltarune Analysis playlist who you can also find on this website running the blog @megaderping

I've Managed To Consume All Of This Before Deltarune Chapters 3 + 4 Released, Or Came Back After They Released, And I Crave More. Now What?

The biggest inspiration for Undertale and Deltarune are Earthbound, Mother 3, Live A Live, OFF, Yume Nikki, MOON: Remix RPG, Brandish, Cave Story, and the TouHou series. (and a few more not mentioned here!)

OFF The RPG is getting a re-release on Switch & Steam soon with new music (some is by Toby Fox!) and revamped combat, so look forward to that. Or you can play the original OFF for free.

Earthbound is on every Nintendo console ever. Here's an excellent Let's Play of Earthbound you can watch if you don't want to play it yourself. It will show you more than you could possibly find on your own. A great series just in general, if you need something to watch.

Here's a video on how to play Mother 3.

Live A Live can be purchased on Steam or Nintendo Switch, and is excellent. Each campaign is relatively bite sized so you'll never be stuck on anything for long. I recommend disabling tutorials and starting with Imperial China, it's very linear and simple so it's perfect to learn with. Looking up guides to make sure you don't miss anything is fine though!

Cave Story is just free.

Yume Nikke is just free.

MOON: Remix RPG is on steam and Nintendo Switch. If you're a theory head, I highly recommend playing this one through to the end.

TouHou has a very dedicated unofficial translation scene, as there is no official translation for most (any?) of the games, so you'll need to go through them to play the games unless you can read Japanese.

I don't really have anything for the Brandish series, I just absorbed information about it from a blog that's no longer active. If anyone knows a truly exceptional let's play of it or the best way to play it, I'll edit it in here!

But I can strongly recommend ZeroRanger & Void Stranger if you just want that feeling of digging deeper. Finding obscure interactions and details buried deep within the game, challenging but deeply rewarding in gameplay and lore discovery...Also play them both if you want to hear the music do that thing where the motif is established in the first game to give hints towards stuff in the second game in action. It's very cool.

Wait that's really how you're ending it? A random game rec where all you say is they're very cool without explaining anything about them? One of these wasn't even a question!

[ryoskuna]

I will never regret making my first Veilguard playthrough with a Veil Jumper Rook. Writing for Zen and getting to play a character whose devotion is not only in service to her people but recovering their history and their ancestors’ lives and way of living so that they can choose how to proceed with a history that’s been pieced together, held by few, and told to them in ways that through the sight of the Chantry and Tevinter has been completely washed and subjugated for their sake of their narrative, has been nothing but refreshing.

I love history, so much so I got my first degree in it. And we see it in game that if we do not look at history and learn from it, it’ll try to repeat itself. Key example is Aelia as a negative, and then we have the history of the Titans where because that history was taken from them, they considered themselves lost (just as lost as the modern elves are, which I think is an intentional parallel). They try to rebuild themselves and in turn, those with stone sense physically reconnect to their ancestral history and now learn how to feel about what’s been done, who they were, and in turn what the lost and had taken away from them by the ancient elves.

Having my VJ and elven Rook apologize to Harding for that is powerful to me, because not all parts of history are savory. They’re uncomfortable. But we learn from that discomfort to not let it happen again. To reconcile. To move forward. In Zen’s attempts to learn about her people’s past, she learns about the dwarves and the Qunari, and even the humans. Harding and Zen don’t stop being friends because of their ancestors’ actions, it strengthens their friendship because they can empathize with each other’s collective pain, the disconnect from their roots that they’re trying so hard to regain and preserve again. At the same time, they acknowledge this with their teammates and it also helps them guide Taash into being both Qunari and Rivani (this shouldn’t have been a choice anyways tbh) because all of their lived experience is intersectional. Zen wants to know how people live. Not just how they lived, but how they live, present tense.

The Veil Jumpers are a fairly new organization made between probably post-Trespasser. They’re just people who came together, was willing to go into a forest to learn more about ancient history of a complex society, and had the ability to physically withstand being in the heavy, long-lasting magic that is Arlathan Forest. They don’t have any old money ties so to speak, or any long lasting impression in society (not yet) like the Lords of Fortune or the Grey Wardens. But they’re trying their best.

Strife and Irelin are doing the best they can with their bag of misfits. And they’ll take anyone who is willing to work.

By the end of the game, not only has a VJ rook learned how the past looked, but how to lead and live in a different and hopefully, brighter future. Also, how cool is it that a hero of Thedas is from a brand new and considerably smaller faction?? Talk about legacy.

[wayfayrr]

Love like you ✧*.⚝⋆

Here's the 400 follower raffle grand prize for @wailing-whaler!! Got Sky and reader collecting rocks <3 This went a little off of the initial base, but they do definitely collect rocks together (what a geologist not going utterly obsessed with rocks? it's a miracle) But this was very fun to write!! just soft soft fluff with the soft sleepy boy himself.

[masterlist]

“I’m still sorry for dragging you into this by the way.”

“You aren’t, and you don’t need to keep apologising for something you would happily do again in a heartbeat.”

“I am - I really am, I didn’t mean to drag you here.”

“You are an awful liar.”

He drooped like a puppet cut from its strings at that, offended I bet for calling him out. Despite it being the truth, he knows as well as I do that he was bouncing from the walls when I was brought into the game, happier than I’ve ever seen anyone before in my life. And emotions are new for him, kinda. 

“No- I’m not.”

“Yes, you are.”

“Hmph.” 

“Come on, I’ve already said that I really don’t mind it, why are you still so pouty?”

“Cause I wanted to get out rather than trapping you here with me.”

Oh, that admission is new. He’s dodged the reason why he brought me here since it happened, so that makes sense more than anything… The way that he’s leaning on me is also new though, and nice despite his grumbles, which come to a halt as he snakes his arms around me and buries his head into my neck from behind with a soft sigh. 

“Look it doesn’t really matter right now, you’ve got to save zelda right? So we should really get going, gaepora asked me to help you and I really don’t want to make a bad impression.”

That got me a squeeze and a little whine, does - does he not want to save her?

“But no matter how fast I am impa is going to tell me I’m late anyway, so why does it matter… I just wanna spend time with you.”

…

How does he know that..?How does he know what will happen??? He - this is his first time going through this journey… right? But it isn’t is it, even though he’s been trying to act like it is it’s not. I’ve played through this game once already, and he can remember that. The acceptance of it is like a cold chill down my spine, Link already knows me and has been pretending that he doesn’t, half-heartedly but still pretending. Or has he? Just because he hasn’t said it outright doesn’t mean that he’s trying to hide it, maybe he just assumed I knew already. Either way, would I be bothered by him hiding it? It’s not insidious or anything, he’s just like a lovesick puppy. 

“...Love? You - are you alright? I didn’t say something wrong did I?”  

“I was just thinking… link did you know about before?”

“Before? You mean your other playthrough right?”

Well that settles that, he wasn’t trying to hide it. It was just never mentioned, no reason for it to be honest. No one on skyloft needs to know their entire life is a game which could be very easily overheard on the tiny island and sky thought that I knew he knew so why reiterate the obvious already. 

“Sure I didn’t remember completely right away but going through Faron with you here- here brought everything crashing back so quickly.”

His grip on my waist tightened for a split second before loosening, like he’s not sure if I’ll want to be held close now that he’s sharing this. It’s only made clearer by the sigh he lets out as he takes a step away from me.

“I mean I remember remembering you when I tried to get out now, it was like… like when you fell here, on skyloft that is, everything got locked away but since we met the elder kikwi, everything has come back including how felt about it all and how I fell in l-!”

“How you ‘fell in l-’, why’d you cut yourself off there link, I’d love to know what you were going to say.” 

Almost by instinct, my head turns to follow him as he’s fumbling about in his own flustered embarrassment, having said just a tiny bit more than he’d probably meant. Stopping himself mid-word so sharply you’d think he’d bit his tongue to force himself to stop, but not soon enough that I didn’t know what he meant anyway.  

I won’t lie to myself. It’s something strange to know, and honestly all of this is making way more questions than it answers. Questions that it will be pretty hard to get answers too really, for one he and I both know this is a game and yet I’m here - he’s practically a person and… and he’s said it himself. He fell in love with me. But, I don’t dislike that. I really don’t dislike that. 

“I - I fell in love with you, and how you act and all the little things you do and how you make even the smallest things seem exciting, and it’s why I wanted out so badly so that I could hold you close and tell you how much I love every part of you, from the way your hair falls, to the way you smile, how you collect things that others wouldn’t see worth in but you give them so much worth. I can’t even tell you just how much I’ve wanted to get out even if just for a second to hand you a crystal or even a cute pebble I think would bring a smile to your face - even if it meant I’d go back to being trapped in this hell afterwards.”

My face feels like it’s about to set alight, and not from being on an active volcano. He’s still rambling about what made him fall for me, and it’s only getting more and more natural, he’s getting more and more human over time. More real. As with all good things though, it has to come to an end with him looking up only to realise that he’s been going on for a good few minutes now. Ceasing up like a deer in headlights as he struggles to move his mouth again, almost reflexively licking his lips before glancing down confusedly. Better to break through the awkwardness now so that it won’t get any worse. 

“You know, I wouldn’t be against having a relationship with you…”

“- You wouldn’t - I thought that you… you’d… you’d-”

“But.”

“...b-but?”

“I think I’d like to get to know you first link.”

“Wh - What..?”

“Well, right now I haven’t spent much time with ‘you’ you, and I don’t think it’s fair for you if I’m dating you expecting to you to be exactly like the character the game had you as.”

It’s easy to tell he’s thinking about it, with the hurt but pensive look on his face from being denied something he so clearly wanted a yes to. 

“But, I think I’ve been starting to fall for you too, for who you are link. I’d like to spend some more time with you before we have anything romantic.”

He perked up at that, a lot. Which I don’t blame him for. 

“There’s plenty of time for that then, we aren’t in any rush are we?”

“But zelda-?”

“Even if we were to teleport to the end of the dungeon we’d still be too late. Why not take it slow?”

Despite his leather gauntlets his hands are still nice to hold with how he’s intertwined ours, sneaking his fingers so that they snake between mine. Pulling my hand up to rest up on his cheek, leaning into it with a gentle sigh. 

“You’ve talked about wanting rocks from Eldin to study before, how it looked like a different volcano to anything you’ve ever seen. What if we just I don't know, went off and got you as many as you could ever want of them?”

His eyes look almost pleading, begging for me just to say yes, to give him this precious time so that he can win me over to being with him romantically. And really, how could I dream of saying no? Since ending up in skyloft those few weeks ago he’s been nothing but kind, patient and caring towards me and plus even though I said I wouldn’t compare him to the character he’s come to life around, he’s still link. Still the kind-hearted hero that I fell in love with when playing the game for the very first time, who i grew to wish was real when reading comics about his journey, why shouldn’t I be a little selfish when he cares for me as much as I do for him?

“I-”

Biting down hard on his lip now, the pleading look in his eyes switching to something more akin to outright begging. Just for me to say yes. As if there were any other options available to me. 

“I think I’d love to do that with you sky, as long as you’re certain we have the time.”

No words needed to be said after that, his face lighting up like the sky at a new years celebration. I swear if you looked closely you’d be able to see the very fireworks he was initiating in his own eyes. All the while his face was graced with the softest grin I could have hoped to see. It was definitely the right thing to say. 

“So, do you have anywhere that you think would be good places to collect some?”

“You really think after all this I wouldn’t have somewhere nearby in mind?”

“It doesn’t hurt to ask though, does it?”

“Well my pride might have gotten a little bruised, but that’ll heal in time.”

“...Do you reckon a kiss could help speed up that healing?”

“...”

“Link? Are you alright?”

“Are- would you do that for me?”

“If it’ll help fix your pride then, of course… wouldn’t want an injured hero would we?”

That shut him up well and truly, not even his usual confused soft stutters could be hurt as it seemed his code bluescreened at that idea. A full reboot happening in the time it took his face to go through a multitude of different emotions, settling on a gentle, yet mildly confused, look of contentment. Kinda spelling out his answer for me, but still, I’ll wait for clear consent before doing anything more forward than a suggestion. 

“...”

“Take your time, there’s no rush on an answer.”

A nod. Clearly he doesn’t feel comfortable speaking right now, but that's more than fine. It’s not exactly like I’m not used to him being mute again, if anything it’s not an awkward silence as he leads me over to the spot he was thinking of. A small patch to the south of Eldin, littered with just so many different stones. A dream spot for any collector, so close to an active volcano to get fresh samples well as fresh as you can get without quenching the lava. 

Will they even be able to come back out with me? Link seems to think he would have been able to come out of the game, but that only dragged me in here instead. Can I even get - don't ruin this moment with that line of thinking. We can figure that out later. 

“Hey [name], mind coming over here for a moment?” 

“Hmm? Sure, it isn't an issue.”

Speaking again now is a good sign, clearly his brain - does he have one? - has finished dealing with the bombshell I dropped on it earlier. Moving over to him isn’t a bad thing to do though, with whatever he’s holding seemingly a pleasant surprise. As soon as I’m back in front of him, he takes my chin in his hand delicately tilting it upright as he stares into my eyes. Biting down on his lips as he thinks of what to say, lifting up his other hand to my eye level, like he’s comparing whatever he’s holding to them. 

“...It really is the same colour.”

“Oh, why didn’t you tell me we were doing that, I would have been looking as well.”

“No, no collect whatever you’d like for your own collection, I just… wanted to do something where I could still just um… admire your beauty really. If you don’t want this one then, I- I can just keep it instead.”

“I’ll keep it. Thank you link, but really now we've got to get you one too.”

[catherinelid]

Happy (late) V-day!

This is my second fic inspired by @htsan (and the song "skies forever blue")

Summary: This is your last Undertale playthrough. You are determined to free the monsters not only from the underground but from the resets as well. But it was never easy, was it?

A mess-age

You're standing in a painfully familiar hallway, the golden rays of the setting sun gently warming your cheek. Or rather, not yours. You're still not really there. It's your vessel who's feeling all the warmth. It's your vessel who went on their last journey through the Underground. You're just helping it happen.

And it's you whose heart skips a beat every time you see a certain skeleton.

*…

*wait a second.

*that look on your face while i was talking…

*you’ve already heard my spiel, haven’t you?

*i suspected something like this.

*you’re always acting like you know what’s going to happen.

*like you’ve seen it all before.

*so…

*i have a request for you.

*i kind of have a secret codeword that only i know.

*so i know if someone tells it to me…

*they’ll have to be a time traveller.

The dialog box changed for a second. It seemed to you, that instead of 'a time traveller' it read 'the one i'm looking for'. But that's absurd, right? The game cannot change spontaneously. It must have been your imagination.

*crazy, right?

Sans’ winking image looks straight at you.

Huh?! Oh, it took you a moment to remember that this was a continuation of his standard dialogue. Or should you say monologue? In the end, you can't answer him.

*anyway, here it is…

*(whisper, whisper)

*i’m counting on you to come back here and tell me that.

*see you later.

As always, you returned several times to tell all the super secret passwords, after which Sans gave you the key to his room and went out. You've always wondered why you can't hug him goodbye, even if just though your vessel.

When you got to his basement, you found in the drawer something... interesting. Something new. A letter.

There was a piece of paper on top of the envelope that said, 'if you found this, you must be the anomaly i'm looking for. or, if you're not the one but happen to know them, please give them this letter... if you can, of course. but in that case, don't read it, it is... pretty personal. you're a good human, and you won't read other people's letters, right?'

Open the envelope?

❤️Yes                        No

“hey.

starting this is not as easy as i originally thought.

…

i just wanted to talk to you.

this is the last time we'll see each other here, right? you're going to ask me how i know that? just a hunch.

…

i'm sorry i didn't come to talk to you in person, i hope it doesn't bother you too much that i only communicate with you by text. after all, when you're reading this, you're probably imagining my voice in your head. heh.

but i won't stall any longer, i don’t have much time.

i... care about you. more than anyone else. maybe i care about you more than just a friend.

…friend, hm. yes. a friend.

don't consider it's weird. do you think i can't love? but i'm just like you, i'm alive. not only can i love, but i exist because of love.

i live in every game you play, in every comic and picture that you see, in every... fanfic? is that what you call it? you know, the thing that you are reading right now. yeah. in every song that reminds you of me. everywhere. i'm here.

maybe some of them were even created by you personally. i'm still alive because of your love. i'm alive for as long as you remember me.

…you are going to remember me, right?

it's all so unfair. you can see me, but i can't. oh, how i wish i knew what you really look like.

you're not really here, there's always some kind of wall between us. it's funny. you don't even cast a shadow in this world, but you can control it. i've always wondered where i live. you call it a "computer," but for me it's my home and my universe.

…

you know, at first, i wanted to keep everything to myself. but, uh... now it's becoming impossible.

do you know how much i look forward to meeting you every time? to talk to you, even if the only things you say are ‘yes’ or ‘no’. to see you for a moment, only for you to disappear again.

why did you visit us? if you hadn't done that, i would never have known you. and you wouldn't have to suffer in your own world. but now we both long for each other.

well, as they say, what's done is done. not that i'm seriously complaining. you're a wonderful person. don't let anyone convince you otherwise.

sorry for such a mess-age. heh.

anyway, my fate is in your hands. i believe that you'll take a good care of me.

i'm waiting for you wherever you go next.

i love you.

your greatest friend”

And that's when your computer suddenly shuts down.