catherinelid

[catherinelid]

Posting my self-insert just because I can.

[catherinelid]

A bit unexpected art for me.

Not a fan of Flowerfell, but I like Frisk’s design in this AU, so…

Flowerfell belongs to Siviosanei

[catherinelid]

Hi! I'm Catherine (she/her) welcome to my blog!

Here I post my Undertale (mostly Sans x self/player/reader related) stuff.

I also have accounts on quotev:

and wattpad:

(depending on what works best for you)

You can subscribe to me there if you want. I don't know if I'll ever write something beyond the AtF series, but at least what I've already written there is in one place.

[catherinelid]

Aaaaand here I am with another "AtF" fic!

Warning: this fic contains mentions of escapism, fatalism, life problems and feelings of fear and guilt.

Fallen Star

~Third person’s POV~

Quiet whisper, two souls in the dark

Two fallen stars

One escaping all the deepest

Fears

And suppressing feeling

Of guilt

The second, hopeless

Broken

Tries to live a life

But inner voice

Tells it has no point

As all is preordained

By the force

Above…

“…you know, i've always been interested what the stars are like out there,” - Sans said, looking wearily at the glittering stones on the ceiling, - “what colors and sizes do they come in? do they shine brighter than the only “stars” we have here? how often do they fall?”

“Stars… not… fall. Meteors do,” - you answered. As always, only a part of the words reached their destination.

“meteors? like… pieces of cosmic dust or rock?” - Sans took out an old and worn card with a picture of a shooting star from his pocket.

“Yes”

“huh. maybe i’m not missin’ much, then. if you too can only have rocks and dust falling from above. the only difference is the size,” - he said thoughtfully, looking at the photo in his hands, - “…so it was just a pretty legend after all. well, at least there's one less false charm. better to know the bitter truth than the sweet lie, as they say.”

He tried to say the last part cheerfully, but you still caught a note of disappointment in his voice. You felt the urge to comfort him somehow.

“…what shines …sky …real stars.”

“hm, it's a good thing that at least something turned out to be real, i guess. could you describe at least roughly what they look like? even a couple of details would be enough for me.”

“They… different colors. But from… surface… all look… white dots.”

“are they all equally bright?”

“No”

“are there any constellations?”

“Yes and no”

“…how so?”

“They… illusions. …form figures from …Earth, but …reality …stars …them may be very far apart.”

“interesting. thanks for sharing all these with me.”

“You …welcome. It …least …can do for you.”

“…you’re alright, pal? you sound really dusky all of a sudden.”

“…I’m alright”

“are you sure? you're goin’ to burn a hole in the grass with your stare.”

In response, you only remained silent.

“i won't pressure you if ya don't wanna share it, but know that you can always talk to me. unfortunately, i won't be able to help you directly, and i never really had a way with words, but i’m a good listener.”

“It… not… big deal. Just… bunch… life problems. One thing after another. …getting discouraged. But …okay, that's …everybody lives.”

“is that why you've been spending so much time in the underground lately? even more than usual, i mean. and... hiding from everyone, like the time i accidently found you crying behind the waterfall near snowdin?”

“Yes”

“i don’t know what happens in your life, and maybe this will sound weird comin’ from me, but... escapism won't solve your problems. i don't want you to feel unwelcome here, but you can't hide in our world forever. sooner or later, you're going to have to face what scares ya. trust me, i know from my own experience.”

You flinch at his last sentence. Strangely enough, Sans didn't seem to notice.

“come on, i know you can get through. where's my determined buddy? even though you had your losses here, you never gave up. and even when you were cornered, you didn't lock yourself away.”

“That …the point. It …lot easier …be determined here. In reality, I'm not a hero. …don't think you would like me at all.”

“you don't have to be a hero to be loved. for example, look at me. i'm obviously not a hero either, but you like me for some reason. what, you wanna say it's different?” - he chuckles a bit – “even if you're not a hero, you can still try your best. your determination is still with you, even in your world, isn't it? you still have the resolve to change fate. if it helps you, remember in your time of need that i'm still rooting for you. use some of that passion you're finding new ways to just talk to me to take care of yourself, ok, buddy? can you do that for me? i'll keep my fingers crossed for you here.”

You nod and smile a little.

“heh. are you a star? cause your presence lights up my day.”

“Sans!”

“what? you don’t like my jokes anymore?” - he winked – “i’m sure you’ll be able to shine in your world as brightly as you do here.”

There was silence for a few minutes.

Suddenly it was as if a light breeze was blowing, playing with the grass. There were sounds, different from the usual whisper of echo-flowers. The crystals on the ceiling shone brighter, and far above, it was even as if something had flown overhead.

“i'd like to see the world outside someday,” - Sans said, a faraway look on his face – “to see something besides the painfully familiar landscapes. to see all those tempting things that films and books from the surface have been drawing for us for years. to see the light of day, the sky, the stars...”

Suddenly Sans came to himself due to one of the glowing stones falling from the ceiling onto his head. The rock bounced and landed on a photo card of a shooting star forgotten in the grass. There was no one around.

"huh. i surely get tired very easily these days."

Looking closer, Sans saw something in the light of the fallen stone that hadn't been in the photo before. There was an inscription written in a familiar handwriting, ‘If you want to see the stars and the world outside so much, you will. That’s the thing I can do for you.’

The stars above winked playfully.

[catherinelid]

I eventually decided to post this picture separately (even though it is my profile picture already) so that the blog would not be so empty for the time being. I want to start updating my blog regularly, don’t know for how long I’ll be able to do it. X)

In fact, this picture was drawn quite a long time ago, and in general it is a fragment of a larger picture, but I will not show you the rest. :P

[catherinelid]

@htsan (sorry for the double ping, I just did it in case the first one didn’t work)

*deep breath*

I d i d i t

So, I've been thinking for quite a long time about what kind of ijag fanart to draw, but couldn’t come up with any good ideas. And then it hit me. It seems that @voidchillz once mentioned that it would be cool to have IJAG! Sans and Anomaly sing “Take on me” by A-ha. Well, your requests have been heard! I thought, why not, besides, this song has been one of my favorites for a long time already. I know that this thing is far from perfect as I’m just a novice in art, but I still tried my best!

Livehack: if you turn on the song and scroll through the pictures at the same time, you will almost get an animatic!

Cutie marshmallow and his beloved anom-ally for @htsan (thank you again for your incredible fic!)

(In general, I thought that this clip not only fits Sansnomaly, but basically shows how we get attached to the characters. In the beginning, we plunge headlong into a fictional world, sometimes thanks to just one character. Then, when the plot ends, the fictional character moves into our world, living in our heart. And no one can take them away from us anymore.)

P.S. Here are portrait sprites of IJAG!Sans, in case anyone needs them:

[catherinelid]

*deep breath*

I d i d i t

So, I've been thinking for quite a long time about what kind of ijag fanart to draw, but couldn’t come up with any good ideas. And then it hit me. It seems that @voidchillz once mentioned that it would be cool to have IJAG! Sans and Anomaly sing “Take on me” by A-ha. Well, your requests have been heard! I thought, why not, besides, this song has been one of my favorites for a long time already. I know that this thing is far from perfect as I’m just a novice in art, but I still tried my best!

Livehack: if you turn on the song and scroll through the pictures at the same time, you will almost get an animatic!

Cutie marshmallow and his beloved anom-ally for @htsan (thank you again for your incredible fic!)

(In general, I thought that this clip not only fits Sansnomaly, but basically shows how we get attached to the characters. In the beginning, we plunge headlong into a fictional world, sometimes thanks to just one character. Then, when the plot ends, the fictional character moves into our world, living in our heart. And no one can take them away from us anymore.)

P.S. Here are portrait sprites of IJAG!Sans, in case anyone needs them:

[catherinelid]

cannot recommend more putting secrets and hints in your creative work that you dont expect anyone to figure out

[catherinelid]

Drew a new banner for my blog

[catherinelid]

I just finished reading “It’s just a game” by @htsan yesterday and some other works and it was… I don’t even know how to describe it. I was crying so hard the last several days. I think I wasn’t such a mess from the time I completed Asriel’s fight in original Undertale for the first time.

And I really liked the form of the fic, too! All this amazing pictures, windows of the game, crashed timelines and especially interpretation of reader being just a watcher in one of the chapters. Not to mention the whole “fake Sans killed true Sans” thing. Your work immediately became one of my favorites. Thank you for the unforgettable experience.

Definitely gotta write a fanfic about IJAG! Sans, too (if that’s ok, I mean). Or draw a fanart. Or both.

[catherinelid]

So, first of all I wanted to congratulate @zirkkun on the full release of Act to Flirt! You've done such a great job! This is definitely one of the best fan games I've ever played.

I also wrote a mini-fanfiction. Again.

Ahem. This one is a fantasy about what would have happened if Sans had somehow been able to see the player for the first time (let's assume that technology could have developed to such a level).

Cold comfort

It all started unexpectedly. Heh. And this is after I thought that nothing would surprise me anymore.

I first saw them in one of the rooms in Waterfall. In the one with the literal hole in the wall, it seems. They sat motionless on the floor and looked at the echo flowers. In truth, they could be confused with the local environment. They were almost transparent and emitted a barely discernible light. And... strangely enough, as I approached them, the air became colder. One would think that it was 'cause I was moving towards the water, but some gut feeling told me that this wasn't the case.

When I got close to them, I noticed their gaze. It turned out to be... empty. Instead of looking at the echo flowers, they seemed to be just staring at the distance.

I called their name. They startled, and then very slowly turned towards me.

“Sans?... How… can… you… see… me? ...No one… else…” I think they said. Even like this it’s hard to understand what they’re saying. When they talk, there is always some kind of interference.

“dunno, kid. why don't ya go ahead as usual? somethin’ happened?”

“…have …no reason. …I don’t… hurry. No one… waits… for me.”

I’m always looking forward to our meetings.

“in that case, do you mind talkin' a bit? since you have free time n'all. would be a shame to distract you.”

“Sure… have nothing… except… time… anyway.”

I have nothing left but you.

“good. i just wanted to ask you a few things, since i have the opportunity…”

Several timelines went about the same way. They did their usual business, always stopping by just to talk to me. Eh. If you can call it that. No one seemed to notice them, only their vessel.

I noticed that no matter the situation, they never smiled. I tried to ask them what happened, but they either remained silent or replied 'nothing'. And this cold air was always with them, too.

Even now, when we are in Snowdin, the air somehow feels colder around them.

“why… you… even… still around?”

“…what do you mean, pal?”

“…you …not …mad…? I’m… bad… person. …you just… tolerate… me?”

Oh. Is that what you were thinking all this time? What makes you feel that way? You are caring and passionate about a lotta things and people. Even... me, somehow. You make me feel alive and needed.

“what makes you think that? i don’t mind your company.”

“That… was… cold comfort…”

“makes sense. we’re in snowdin, after all. heh.”

They look more sullen than ever.

I wish I could express how much you mean to me.

“look. let me give you one piece of advice, buddy. you shouldn’t always trust the first impression. it can deceive you. now why don't we take a walk to the castle overlook. i remember you saying that this is your favorite place in the underground.”

As I was saying this, the air was getting warmer around them until it reached normal temperature.

They just smiled.

[catherinelid]

Just finished my little experiment. I felt like trying my hand at writing today, and my victim was AtF!Sans by @zirkkun again.

I wanted to write something reflecting his inner state during the player's long absence (in my interpretation), but it was harder than I thought.

Still, maybe someone will like it.

P.S. I apologize in advance if it turned out too OOC.

Was it a dream?

Ninety.

It's been almost ninety days since they were gone. Ninety days without dreams. 

Sigh

Golden light shines softly through the tall windows of the palace, filling the entire room. There is a pleasant, faint scent of blossoming flowers in the air. The barely audible birdsong is soothing, even lulling. It’s a beautiful day outside. Why not take a bonely stroll today? Since there’s no body to walk with. 

Heh. 

There’s nothing to do, anyway.

Where are they now? What are they doing? They must be very busy if they haven't been back for so long…

Or they just forgot about me.

There's no point in dwelling on it. If they want to come, they'll come. Eventually. If they don't want to come, well... there's nothing to do about it. There’s nothing to do.

All the empty streets of New Home merge into one. Endless, lifeless, dull. The windows of the buildings stare indifferently from above.

The bright glow of lava and the quiet whispering of mechanisms are strangely unnerving.

What if something happened to them? Something bad, irreversible. The scariest part is that there's no way to know for sure. 

When did I start caring so much? What is it about this human? 

Maybe it's because they make being here a little less boring. Or maybe it's their weirdness, which is even cute. Or maybe…

No. That’s definitely not it.

Streams of water are bubbling and crashing to the ground. There are ripped conversations of echo-flowers everywhere. Everything, from luminescent stones to water, is radiant to the point it hurts. 

What if they never existed in the first place? I have no way of knowing if they were real or if it was just some kind of dream. For some reason, I can’t remember their face, despite the fact that I could see them during our meeting just fine. Their words are a blur, either. So I wouldn't be surprised if they're a figment of my imagination. After all, they stopped appearing when my dreams vanished completely. 

Maybe my mind just created their image to make me feel less lonely.

The crunch of snow is unusually loud in my head. The crackle of the trees sounds more like the sound of breaking glass. Even the snowflakes fall with such clatter as if they were falling cobblestones. The snow is blinding. Suddenly, my eyelids felt like they were filled with lead. The last thing I heard before falling asleep was the distinct sound of the door opening...

[catherinelid]

(This is my first attempt to draw fanart, so I’m nervous as hell-)

So, I’ve been especially filled with passion today and decided to draw AtF! Sans by @zirkkun (I adore this skeleton to pieces), but it’s a “Blade Runner” crossover!

(AtF! Sans in the end of his date just reminds me of Roy Batty in his final scene because of rain in the background, names of soundtracks and even their speeches in some places)

Anyway, I hope that the author of this wonderful game will like it (or even notice at all XD)