#anyway these boys are the most genuine down to earth amazing human beings and deserve everything they have and more

[jajanvm-imbi]

Headcanons of Krel living on earth because he’s my favorite and I love him and I haven’t seen anyone do this yet so I feel like I have to

^^^^^because of this very moment I love the idea of Mary and Darci befriending Krel.

Since Aja,Vex and Eli went back to Akaridion-5, Mother was destroyed, and Claire was busy with Trollhunting stuff, earth gets pretty lonely. So Mary and Darci adopt him into their friend group. 

At first Krel was a little apprehensive to joining their friend group, but he quickly warmed up to it because, he, being Krel, loves the attention.

like I can totally see Mary and Darci taking Krel to like a mall or something and doing those like teen romcom movie shopping montages where he goes into a changing room and the girls judge the outfit until they find the perfect one.

I personally believe Krel would adopt a soft boy look, with like oversized button ups and t shirts tucked into jeans, but thats just me.

anyway, because he’s friends with Mary and Darci, Krel has a new found social popularity in Arcadia.

because of this, Krel would prolly get nominated for Spring Fling king and shit

I would say Krel wouldn’t really care about being nominated, but seeing how he cared so much about the science fair and the Battle of the Bands, he would definitely care

Steve is conflicted because he wants to be Spring Fling King, but he can’t mess with Krel like he did with Jim and Eli cause Krel is his girlfriend’s brother 

Krel notices this and takes advantage of it to mess with Steve and actually tries to win.

like Krel would just dominate the contests, and his theme presentation would be the flashiest and most appealing and people would just generally like him, and that would really worry Steve

like Krel, with four arms would be really good at the Touch-a-Truck-athon or whatever its called.

Krel would prolly let Steve win anyway because watching Steve squirm and freak out over prolly losing the crown and not being able to do anything about it cause he's Aja's brother is much better than any highschool dance crown

also the school 100% asks Krel to DJ future dances and events to save money, and Krel absolutely loves it

He would also definitely do the school play. Seeing how much he enjoyed being in Toby and Eli's short film, and again, he loves the attention, he would totally be down 

Also it would just be another chance to mess with Steve to be the lead. 

Because of this, Ms. Janeth would do another Shakespearean play, but do one of those modern renditions. Like it's the same play just in a modern setting, to take advantage of Krel's Akaridion form like they did with Jim's armor. 

If not in the play he would do stage crew/tech.

Like he would create elaborate settings for them using A5 tech and Ms. Janeth would adore it 

moving on, because home life is pretty lonely with just the Lucy and Ricky for company, Krel loves to host his friends for parties and sleepovers and whatever

and since Krel lives in the coolest house on the block, they love coming over

He hosts girl’s night every other week with Mary, Darci, and Clarie (becauuse she deserves a fucking break) 

since we’ve all agreed that Krel is 100% a gaylien, I love the idea that he casually comes out during a girls night

like Mary would be like “So Krel, are there any girls you like?” and Krel’s just like, “*snort* Girls? Who ever said I like girls?” and the others are like “….....?“ and Krel just rolls his eyes and says "I like boys, ladies” and they’re like “ooooohhhh, okay. Cool.”

So now they spend girls night talking about boys. Claire and Darci about their mans and Mary and Krel about cute boys.

One day the girls give Krel a little rainbow pin and Krel’s just like “what’s this?” And the girls tell him that it’s an earth symbol for the gays and he’s like “theres a symbol for that here? I didnt think it was that big of a deal. On A5 it’s pretty normal” and the girls explain why theres a symbol and he’s like “oh shoot wow, thanks" and he put it on his backpack.

He’s pretty confused the first time someone is homophobic towards him cause like that kind if behavior doesnt happen on A5 and hes just like, “why does this bother you? I hardly know you” and just brushes it off. Its doesnt really bother him, mainly cause he doesnt know the earth insults towards gay people so he doesn’t even realize, but if the girls (or Toby, or even Steve, too) catch anyone being homophobic towards their friend they will attack that asshole on sight. Especially Mary and Steve

Random person on the street: Ha, *slur*

Marry: WHAT DID YOU SAY TO HIM BITCH???

Krel: Marry its fine, it’s not that big of a dealoHSEKLOSANDGAYLENMARYGETOFFOFHIM

Marry: SAY IT AGAIN ASSHAT, I D A R E YOU

Claire and Darci: *trying to hold Mary back* maRY NO

Steve: THATS MY NINJA KICKING SPACE ANGEL GIRLFRIEND'S BROTHER BUTTSNACK I'LL END YOU

Toby: *now chasing after Steve to stop him* stEVE NO

Mary would 100% find out who the rando is and destroy their life on social media. Like she would leak their job, phone number, email, school/college (if applicable) to her thousands of followers and absolutely ruin them with no remorse. And honestly, good for her

Also whilst on the subject, Krel can not drive or cook for 2 reasons: 1. Hes gay and 2. He’s a prince so he’s never had to do either before

Like he can obviously do math but that’s it.

Proof? That one scene in Wizards when Douxie had him drive the airship. You know the one.

Coach Lawrence refuses to get in a car with him at Drivers Ed after the 3rd day Krel shows up.

Krel gets addicted to sugary coffee shop-esc drinks thanks to Darci. Not coffee cause we saw in 3Below Part 1 that he doesnt like coffee, but refreshers, coolattas, frappuccinos etc…? Definitely.

As for warm drinks, he’s more of a tea person.

Moving on

He face calls Aja everyday because he really misses her

He tells her all about school and his friends and whatever and Aja tells him about the changes she’s making to the A5 government

Thanks to the wormhole they visit each other often. Sometimes Steve tags along cause he misses his ninja kicking space queen angel girlfriend. (And Eli, but that's also for another post)

They take turns housing Luug.

Krel genuinely loves it on earth, but he hates the primitive technology so he begs Aja to send him supplies and materials for his projects. 

He would 10000% apply to HexTech for an after school job. Seeing his reaction to HT in Wizards and the fact that “Akaridion tech and magic are so compatible”, he would be the perfect addition to the HT staff. 

The Wizards wouldn’t be sure at first but after he shows them A5 tech and Douxie’s email of recommendation about the time loop thing they made together, the wizards are like “oh yeah we definitely keeping this kid. This is going to be so much fun.”

Their inventions become more and more extravagant because Krel can and he's just extra and the wizards love it.

He would definitely find a way to use magic using A5 tech. But he would have to study magic in order to figure out how, so the wizards help him learn all about magic. And since he's learned everything there is to learn about science and technology and whatever, he's super excited to learn about something completely different and interesting. The wizards are happy to teach him. He would be the first Akaridion to learn and use magic

Like he would make his own staff with his serrator and everything. He's like "earn a staff? Nah fuck that going to make my own"

Speaking of which he really likes human swear words. But he doesnt know when it is and isn't inappropriate to say these swear words so he's gotten in trouble a few times for swearing at the wrong time

For example:

Ms. Janeth: excuse me Mr. Tarron?

Krel: what the fuck do you want?

Everyone in the room: krEL NO

Anyway, back to Krel at HT, thanks to Toby, he would definitely have a bowl of candy in his little lab. More like multiple jars of different candy just scattered around the room. Small candy like fun sized chocolate and skittles and jelly beans and whatever

And a mini fridge, of course.

Steve, Toby and Arrrgh come over to the lab alot to mess around.

Toby has a lot of sci-fi requests for Krel to make

Toby: do you think you can make a shrink ray? Laser blasters? Invisible ray? My own hoverboard? My own serrator *gASP* WITH A WARHAMMER SETTING???? WITH SPACE ARMOR TO MATCH???!!!???!

Krel: Toby you already have a warhammer and armor why do you need more?

Toby: I dont have a space warhammer and armor Krel!!!!!!

Going back to school life, I feel like Krel would take an interest in Spanish class. I mean, his human form is latino and in Trollhunters (I'm pretty sure the lightning in a bottle episode) he said "Si" in response to a question someone asked him, so I feel like he would like to learn another human language. 

I also feel like he would just like to learn about Latin American culture in general since Mother gave him that form. He'd like to get in touch with his human self. 

Claire (when she isnt busy Trollhunting with Jim and the gang) is happy help him learn about Latin American culture and help him with his Spanish. 

Krel, being a fast learner, becomes fluent quickly with a perfect accent. 

Señor Uhl, who already liked the Tarrons to begin with, would really appreciate this. 

Claire's dad would also appreciate this.

Since he has such a fascination with human music, Krel would especially love Latin American music. Specifically reggaeton, since its kind of like techno music in a way and he already likes techno music.

And naturally, he learns to dance. All the styles of latin american dances. And he becomes quite the favorite on the dance floor.

He and Claire become great dance partners cause they both have the natural Latino rhythm and because Jim respects and trusts his girlfriend he doesnt mind them dancing together at parties and stuff

Although, Jim does ask for dance help at some point cause it looks like fun and he wants to dance with his beautiful talented incredible amazing gf and Krel is happy to teach him and anyone else who wants dance help. 

GUITAR LESSONS with Douxie cause in 3Below Krel said he really wanted to learn how to play guitar, steals Shannon’s guitar from the bonfire and is seen multiple times strumming it throughout the series. So of course this is included.

Toby introduces Krel to YouTube and Krel instantly makes his own channel.

of course his channel is called DJ Kleb and he posts his tracks and remixes. and maybe even some vlogs

its a little slow at first, only Arcadia Oaks students are subscribed to it but Mary blows it up by posting one of Krel’s tracks on her own social media and now he has thousands of subscribers

he also gained other forms of social media like Instagram and Tiktok, platforms to post his music

At this point every girl in school wants to be friends with Krel but not in the toxic GBF (gay best friend) way, girls just genuinely think he's 10x more interesting than every other boy in Arcadia Oaks

I think that's it for now sorry this is really long I just really love Krel and I had so many ideas. Feel free to add on!!

[jalapeno-princess]

Chapter 5: Yours, Mine and Ours

Mark Tuan X Reader

Final chapter of the “Crazy Little Thing Called Love” series

Genre: So much sweet, cheesy, adorable, heartwarming fluff (and quite a bit of horny ass Mark) (Some sexual content but nothing too crazy...I think)

Word count: 23K (Of course I had to go all out for the last chapter guys good luck)

A/N: Here’s the finale! The last chapter for our favorite couple. God, I can’t fathom just how sad I am that it’s actually over. I genuinely loved writing this story and I feel as though it has helped me progress in my writing (although there is a lot of repetition and parts that don’t make sense, I love how the entire series came out. Thank you so much for all of your love and support for this specific work of mines. I was so overwhelmed with how much positive comments I’ve received for this story in particular. (Dude when am I going to find me a man like the Mark I write in this story I’m going to die single and alone hahaha). Anyways, I feel as though I could have wrote this one much better because it is the last chapter but who cares! I just wanted to put it out for you guys and I’m so excited to be starting a new series. Happy reading everyone. Who knows, I might just end up writing a couple of one shots based on this couple some time in the future.

“I don’t get it, why am I here? Don’t get me wrong Y/n, you’re like a sister to me and I would do anything for you—but out of all of our friends, why did you choose me to come wedding dress shopping with you? I saw on Instagram that the guys are out at the arcade; your fiancé literally put on one tux and called it a day. This is the fifteenth dress you put on and it doesn’t seem like we’re going to be finished anytime soon. Isn’t this something you do with both his and your mothers? Or your girlfriends—“

You rolled your eyes at the older boy’s numerous complaints and made your way back in to the dressing room to put on the next gown. Mark had proposed to you over a month ago and out of the many wonderful memories you’ve made together so far in your relationship—that night had to be the best night of your entire life.

“Will you do the amazing honor and continue to make me the happiest man on earth by marrying me?”

There were so many different thoughts running through your mind—how long has he been planning this for? How long has he had the ring for? What made him choose this night in particular to ask you such a life changing question? Did anyone else know what his plans were? Watching him look up at you with nervousness yet adoration in his eyes made your heart flutter.

You’ve had the incredible opportunity to see Mark get all shy and flustered whenever it came to you for so many years now and he’d only get more timid as the two of you got older. He might have been a very outgoing and outspoken person; as a leader of multiple sports teams, he would always have to be upfront and command others to do things. However, you were the only person that he would submit to—well, any time other than when it came to the bedroom.

Your boyfriend was completely captivated by you and in his eyes, every little thing you did was magic. You already knew your answer; you’ve known your answer even before you could comprehend what it meant to get married. As kids, you and Mark would play house; he was the husband and you were the wife. Most boys hated playing house and it was obviously because they found the game boring and considerably “girly”. Mark on the other hand enjoyed doing anything domestic with you and he confessed once that he enjoyed playing house with you so much because he’d get a taste of what your future together would be like.

At the prime age of eleven and honestly—even before then, you’ve dreamt about marrying Mark. If only your five-year-old self could see how far the two of you have come. What you and Mark had was rare; people would always tell the two of you that you were “too young to know what love was” and that your relationship was just “puppy love”. You wondered how the people who doubted your relationship would feel if they knew that your boyfriend of fifteen years was currently on bended knee, asking for you to spend the rest of your life with him.

You brought one hand down in to his hair while cupping his cheek with the other hand. He immediately leaned in to your palm and hid his face against your thigh; you had a feeling he assumed your sudden skin ship was a bad sign with the way he was preventing himself from looking up at you.

“Look at me.”

He shook his head in disagreement—probably because he was extremely nervous for your response, but you reached for his chin and lifted it up so that he was making direct eye contact with you.

“Mark Yi-En Tuan, it would be my honor to marry you baby. God I sound so formal—but I want nothing more than to finally be called Mrs.Tuan. I can’t—I can’t fathom how happy I am right now nor can I even find the words to describe how much I love you, with every fiber of my being and how happy I am to be the lucky girl who gets to love you and is loved by you. You mean everything to me Mark—you are my everything and I can’t wait to walk down the aisle and set our love in stone. I love you so fucking much I can’t even express it in to words. You’re otherworldly my love. I’m so fucking excited.”

You sank down to your knees and allowed him to place the ring on your finger to which he clumsily missed a couple of times because he was too busy staring at you with so much excitement and adoration. Before he could say anything, you brought his face in between your hands and roughly smashed your lips against him. He smiled gently in to the kiss; humming contently while melding your lips together. In all your many years of being in love with him for, this had to be the happiest you’ve ever been; you were completely over the moon.

He lowered his hands down to your waist and gripped on your hips all but gently while bringing you on to his lap. The two of you made out for a couple of minutes; the desire to be as close in proximity with each other as physically possible was seeping through your veins. You wanted him to feel just how thrilled you were to finally become one with your boyfriend.

Once you felt his excitement through his sweats graze against your thigh, your cheeks were flushed with pink. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t excited at the idea of celebrating your engagement—you couldn’t get your hands off of the devastatingly handsome man sitting in front of you. As soon as he pulled away to catch his breath, you let out a soft whimper; earning yourself the most adorable high pitched laugh that never failed to make your heart flutter.

“When did you—how did you—wait, babe, did you tell my parents? Does anybody know?” He scratched the back of his neck in embarrassment while looking everywhere around your shared bedroom but at you.

“I uh—the guys know—um, but I didn’t get around to telling anyone else. I was meaning to do it, but I wanted to ask for their blessing to marry you in person. Since we don’t plan on going back home for another two months, I made a plan to act as if I had yet to ask you and see what they thought about it—that’s if you said yes. But let’s be honest baby, you were going to say yes to me even if I proposed with a ring pop.”

You scoffed playfully at his words before shoving him. A part of you was actually quite nervous to hear how your parents would react to Mark asking for your hand in marriage—even if your parents loved the older boy and knew that the two of you were destined to spend the rest of your lives together, you were both still so young.

Hell, you were both in college working shitty ass jobs; you knew your mom wanted you to be financially stable before making the choice to get married and start a family. But all of that didn’t matter right now. All you cared about was the fact that Mark was just so excited to marry you that he couldn’t wait to ask—no matter how much he might have been going against your parent’s wishes.

“Wait, Mark—the ring. It’s so beautiful—honestly, it’s so perfect. But I’m sure it must have costed you a fortune. You know I would’ve been content with one of those rings you get from cereal boxes—“

He covered your mouth in attempts to keep you quiet and placed a sloppy kiss on your jaw. This man was honestly all you could ever need for the rest of your life—Mark Tuan in more or less words had to be the most imperfect perfect human being that you’ve ever met.

“You know you deserve the entire world and more. I’m marrying you for that specific reason—I’m going to give you everything you deserve baby. My girl deserves nothing but the best. Damnit y/n, look at how soft you’ve made me—oh I mean, you make me really fucking hard a lot of the time—99.9% of the time, but I’m such a lovesick fool for you and I love it. I would do anything and everything for you. You should know that by now. I’m not going to lie, it wasn’t the cheapest thing I’ve purchased, but I’ve been saving up money since the time we were in elementary school. I’ve known from the beginning that I was going to marry you one day, so twelve-year-old me started up a piggy bank and put every single dollar I got—from my allowance to birthday and Christmas money in that jar. I missed out on the PS4 because I wanted to buy you the ring of your dreams baby and trust me—seeing that beautiful smile of yours right now, it was so worth it. However, if you want to show me your gratitude by sucking me dry or even buying me the ps5 if you’re feeling generous, be my guest.”

Tears began to brim at your eyelids as you listened to him talk about how he wanted to provide you with nothing but your hearts desires even at such a young age. Most boys at the age of ten don’t even think about marriage nor was anyone in a relationship other than you and your boyfriend. What did you do to deserve such a golden-hearted, selfless, loving, caring and generous man to call your fiancé? God, you were never going to get tired of calling him your fiancé.

“We don’t have to get married just yet if you’re not ready. I’m sure you want to finish college first or at least until we can actually afford a decent wedding but if I’m being honest with you baby, I don’t care where we get married. We can go to fly to Vegas tomorrow and get hitched if that’s what you want. I don’t care if we have hundreds of guests or only ten people there—I don’t care if we have flower arrangements or a ten-tiered cake. All I need is for you to meet me at the altar. But I’ll do whatever you want me to do—I’ll take our engagement at whatever pace you want to. However, I’m taking our love making session tonight at my pace—I hope you’re ready.”

You felt your cheeks warm up as you remembered how Mark took you up against almost every surface in your apartment right after the proposal. He wasted no time practically ripping your clothes off and worshipping your body in the most erotic way.

Although sex wasn’t the most important aspect in your relationship, it had to be in the top five of your favorite things you did with Mark along with cuddling, going grocery shopping, baking something together that you’d see on Cake Boss and going to bed in his arms. But it was more than just reaching an orgasm and feeling the delicious stretch his cock would bring to your pussy—sex was extremely intimate.

No matter how rough, dominant and animalistic Mark could get during every single love making session, he’d find himself whispering multiple love confessions in your ear while intertwining your hands together and kissing you all around your face and body.

As you put on the next dress, you found yourself not able to take your eyes off of it once the employee came in to help you zip it up. To say this dress was beautiful had to be an understatement—it was everything you could ever dream of in a wedding dress. You didn’t care if it was cliche; ever since you were a little girl and watched every single Disney princess movie there was, your dream was to get married in a princess gown; one made of tulle and took up most of your walking space.

The top was a v-cut and showed off just enough cleavage that didn’t reveal too much yet could still be considered exceedingly sexy. You began to tear up—even if you and Mark both agreed that the two of you wouldn’t rush with the wedding arrangements and that you both wanted to focus on finishing school before getting married, you were still so excited getting to look around for dresses, accessories and anything that had to do with the wedding.

“I obviously chose you for a reason BamBam. You have an eye and taste for fashion that none of the other guys possess. Don’t worry, I’ll treat you out to lunch right after we’re finished. We can go anywhere you want to go. By the way, I um—I was actually going to ask if you wanted to be my man of honor. I don’t really have any friends other than the five of you and my fiancé. I was going to ask my sister to be my maid of honor, but she volunteered to be the photographer. If you don’t want to or if you’re against that idea, I can choose someone else—“

“Don’t you dare—that spot is rightfully mine! I’ve always known I was your favorite and I don’t blame you, I’m pretty amazing. Now hurry up and let me see the next dress!”

You let out a soft chuckle and took one more look in the mirror; smiling at how the dress fit you perfectly—as if it was made for you specifically. Right as you walked outside, BamBam’s eyes widened in shock while his jaw dropped. If this was his reaction, you couldn’t wait to see Mark’s—that’s if you decided to go with this dress.

His expression made it obvious that the dress was one that he must have liked; he never said much about the other fifteen dresses you tried on so far. Either that or he just really wanted to hurry up and go get some lunch.

“Y/n—you look beautiful. Like an actual princess. Mark is a very lucky guy. Wow—I can’t stop looking at you, you’re glowing. Wait, I value my life—I didn’t say anything. You heard nothing.”

Your laughter filled the waiting area that the two of you were occupying at the moment; knowing Mark’s jealous and territorial tendencies, BamBam did not want to face his wrath if he were to find out what the younger boy said about you—even if it was all in good fun. Being the youngest, both BamBam and Yugyeom found themselves doing things they knew would get under Mark’s skin just because they found entertainment in driving their eldest friend crazy.

However, all the boys knew not to do anything to or with you that was crossing any boundaries; they would never hear the end of it. One time, the naive boy who was currently accompanying you jokingly intertwined your hands together while you all went out to eat dinner and you found yourself going along with it to get a rise out of Mark. Your fiancé tried his best to conceal his jealousy; even if everyone knew just how protective and extremely territorial Mark was when it came to you, he didn’t want to make it obvious that he was bitter over your interactions with his friends or rather—their interactions with you.

Mark didn’t say anything out loud about what he thought of the skin ship between you and BamBam, but you could tell he was upset when he bought ice cream for everyone but BamBam. He also confronted you for your playful and flirtatious behavior back at your shared apartment which led to extremely kinky and passionate sex—he wanted to take out his irritation and jealousy out on you while ramming himself deep inside of your tight pussy. You weren’t going to lie, a jealous Mark was a rough and dominant Mark—anytime he showed that he was jealous or felt intimidated by another man it just solidified that he was afraid to lose you and that he loved you so much, he hated the idea of someone else taking you away from him.

No matter how many years the two of you have been together, how many memories you’ve shared with each other or how many times on a daily basis that you remind him exactly how much you love him and only him—that didn’t stop him from thinking negatively but it was only because you meant the entire world to him.

Sometimes he’d gaze at you while you were asleep and thanked whatever power it was that put the two of you together because God knows he would be nothing if he didn’t have you.

“Thank you BamBam. I think—I think this is the dress. I can’t stop smiling, I love how it looks and feels on me and I love how I feel wearing it. Should I keep looking around or should I put it on hold?” He stood up and walked over to where you were standing in front of the mirrors and helped you fix the dress before gently squeezing your cheek.

“This is the one. You said so yourself, this dress is your dress—I think you look unfathomably stunning and I know Mark’s going to both cry like the emotional ass we all know him to be and get hard as a rock—I wouldn’t be surprised if you end up starting your family on the night of your honeymoon—ow! I’m being serious, we all know how horny the two of you are I’m surprised you don’t already have children—I hope you know I plan on ringing up your bill to pay for the abuse I’m receiving. Oh, and I plan on getting tipsy, so be prepared.” You scoffed sarcastically before giving him a teasing smirk.

“I can’t wait until it’s your turn to go through something like this—“ He shook his head in disagreement before you could even finish your sentence.

“I don’t see myself getting married if I’m being honest. Unless I find someone who looks at me like the sun shines out of my ass the way your fiancé always looks at you and loves me the way you and Mark do with each other, then I plan on staying single for the rest of my life. The two of you are really lucky to have found one another. I don’t know if he’s ever told you this nor do I know if I should be admitting this to you right now so please do us both a favor and keep this between the two of us—but Mark told Yugyeom and I that he would give up every single person in his life—everyone—our friends and even his family just to have you in his life forever. He claimed that he could live without any one of us which I found extremely rude, but he made it completely aware that he needs you. You’re like his lifeline or some sappy shit like that. Honestly, I think you and Mark were made for each other. You’re so cute together it’s disgusting.”

He let out a chuckle when he saw tears forming as he continued his heartfelt speech—but it was the truth. The two of you have know each other for almost the entirety of your lives. Everything you did, everywhere you went—so did Mark and neither of you would have it any other way. Right after you went back inside of the dressing room and changed in to your clothes, you went up to the receptionist and put the gown on hold.

The two of you made your way to BamBam’s favorite restaurant—one that was extremely fancy and renowned, which also meant expensive; but it didn’t matter. He did you a huge favor by coming with you today, the least you could do was treat him to a meal. BamBam wasn’t wrong when he confirmed the fact that he was your favorite out of all Mark’s friends. Each boy held a special place in your heart, they all treated you like you were a member of their family—but your relationship with BamBam was just a little more tight knit.

Lunch was filled with laughter, playful banter and him nonchalantly hinting towards wanting to be a godfather to one of your kids when you and Mark actually did start having children—he also snuck you some wine and a couple of mojitos when the waiters weren’t paying attention which led you on the path of inebriation. Mark sent you a few text messages hinting towards wanting you to come home as soon as possible because he missed you and wanted to spend the rest of the afternoon just lazing around on the couch together.

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t a lightweight and that you were completely all there mentally because you were the complete opposite of mentally stable. BamBam knew he made a mistake of allowing you to drink as soon as you began laughing at nothing. You never really drank; especially because you were still underage and didn’t believe in breaking the law, but there were a couple times when the guys would come over with a couple of beers or wine coolers and you’d find yourself drinking one or two every now and then.

It never got you drunk enough to the state you were in right now and BamBam could only hope you would sober up once you got back to your apartment or else he would get in trouble with your fiancé. Watching you drink more than you should have actually sobered BamBam up pretty quickly so he was able to drive you home. The car ride went faster than expected but it was probably because alcohol slowed down your thinking. For all you knew, he was driving for over half an hour but it felt like five minutes as he pulled up to your building.

“Let me know when you get upstairs and tell Mark I said hello. Have a nice evening y/n, I’ll see you next week!”

You didn’t know how you did it, but you walked up three flights of stairs without stumbling. Sure, you weren’t completely drunk, but walking seemed like the hardest thing to do right now. Once you finally made it up to your unit and walked inside, you placed your things on the counter and smiled softly to yourself when you saw Mark sitting on the couch.

“Hey baby! I’ve missed you, how was dress shopping?”

He was currently shirtless and wearing a pair of gray sweatpants; a very lethal combination especially because he’s been working out a lot more these days. You could feel warmth building up in your core at the sight of him—he was so attractive and it’s as if the alcohol heightened your senses—you wanted to pounce on him.

“It was good—I um—I actually found a dress I really like—how about you? BamBam was um—complaining that you um—arcade—“

Slowly and hesitantly, you sauntered towards the couch and found your place on top of his lap. You didn’t know why you were now extremely horny—well, you were always in the mood for sex with Mark, but normally it took a little of sexual tension and flirting to get to that point. What exactly was in those drinks that BamBam gave you?

“Baby.”

You looked up at him with your glossy eyes and Mark knew in his gut that you were drunk. The way you kept repeat the word um and your body movements confirmed his suspicions and he was mentally cursing BamBam for allowing his sweet, innocent—well, innocent when it comes to following the rules—fiancée to drink alcohol—especially in an environment where you both could have gotten in trouble if you were caught.

He wasn’t going to lie though, drunken sex with you was on the top of his list of the many kinks he had. From what a few of his teammates would tell him, drunk sex had to be the best mind of sex next to make up sex and reunited sex. By the way you were grinding all but gently against his pelvis, he had a feeling you were just as turned on as he now was and he had no intentions of stopping you.

“Be honest with me, you drank alcohol didn’t you?” You didn’t even hesitate in nodding your head and he let out a snarky little chuckle at your eagerness before grabbing your ass and massaging both cheeks.

“Mhm—“

Since he was completely aware of your insobriety—you found no point in continuing to pretend that you weren’t tipsy and began to leave sloppy kisses along the juncture of his neck while running your finger along his hardened abs. It didn’t take long for you to feel his hard on press firmly against your clothed entrance and it only motivated you to quicken your pace.

“You are so sexy Mark—fuck—“

Hearing a moan fall from his pretty lips led you to roughly smashing your mouth against his. BamBam had a point; how were you not a mother yet? You and Mark could never keep your eyes nor your hands off of each other, no matter how tired you and your fiancé were after you came home from work and school, you both always seemed to have enough energy to relish in your love together.

“Have you seen yourself? You look so fucking good y/n I don’t know why I even allowed you to leave this morning. I know I told you this outfit was so cute on you earlier but I just know it will look cuter on the floor—ah shit.”

You secretly slipped your hand inside of his pants and palmed him through his underwear; grabbing and squeezing on his cock through the soft fabric. His dick was stiff at this point and you could feel your mouth water at the thought of blowing him. He let out a whimper as you got off of his lap and was right about to complain until he saw you lower yourself with your face just inches away from his penis.

“I plan on sucking you dry—then I’m going to bounce on this cock and I want you to fuck me from behind. Am I clear?”

Mark’s eyes widened in shock at your command; normally, he was the dominant one in bed with you occasionally taking the lead whenever you felt like it but it was extremely rare to hear you tell him what you wanted him to do to you and honestly—your dominance drove him insane. He nodded profusely; wanting to show you how much of an animalistic and lewd effect you were having on him.

The two have dabbled in drunken sex before, but it was always your boyfriend who had a little too much to drink. You never really drank to the point where your mind wasn’t all completely there before and Mark was more than excited to see how dirty and naughty things were going to get between the two of you. If you were already being so forceful and commanding, he couldn’t imagine how much more dominant you were going to be. To Mark’s dismay, your movements were slow—too slow for his liking.

“Y/n, please—“ You looked up at him and feigned innocence.

“Please what baby?” The glare he sent you, knowing exactly what he was asking for sent chills down your spine. He let out a growl from the back of his throat and all but gently pulled at your hair.

“Don’t get me wrong, I can’t wait to fuck the living shit out of you and I’m all for a dominant y/n, but if you don’t hurry up and shove my dick down your throat I will make it my responsibility to make you immobile for the rest of this week. Am I clear?”

You rolled your eyes at his words; scoffing quietly at his mimicking, but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy it. You began rubbing your thighs together to enforce any kind of friction against your throbbing core. The coil in your stomach began to twist the longer you continued to tease him; dragging your fingers painfully slow against his throbbing veins and fondling his balls.

Whenever you were either swallowing him whole or giving him a hand job, you would receive just as much; if not more pleasure from watching his facial expressions and hearing his breathless moans. It never failed to rile you up and get you extremely turned on. He hissed when he realized what you were doing—as much as he loved it whenever you would tease and mess around with him—play with him and drive him to the brink of insanity, he was not having it right now.

He’s been thinking about you the entire day; some thoughts were cute and romantic, but most thoughts were dirty and naughty; most of the thoughts were the different kind of positions he wanted the two of you to experiment with.

“Y/n, please—do anything, I’ll be a good boy, I promise—ah—ah—shit!”

You did both you and your fiancé a favor by finally pulling his underwear down to his knees before grabbing his cock at the base and grazing your thumb along his slit. Bringing your index finger up to his tip, you swiped off some of his precum and brought it in your mouth; sucking your finger clean of him.

“Shit—shit, you’re so fucking hot.“

Anytime Mark complimented you; no matter what it was about or referred to, your stomach would fill with butterflies. You didn’t know what you liked hearing more—him telling you that you were the most beautiful goddess to walk this earth or that you were the sexiest woman he’s ever laid his eyes on and that his favorite place to be was in between your thighs. You licked a stripe along his hardened cock, running your hands along his length and leaving a sloppy kiss on this tip before finally taking him in to your mouth completely.

He let out a loud, wanton moan at the feeling of your warm mouth encompassed around his cock—bringing him as far down your throat as you could without gagging. You wasted no time bobbing your head up and down—moaning against his girth every time you felt his tip touch the back of your throat.

His reactions—the many praises—erotic grunts—dirty words—they only made you want to go faster. You hollowed your cheeks, trying to keep your mouth as tight as possible to give him an immense amount of pleasure against his length while you continued humming softly at every tap of his cock against your uvula. His grip on your hair was tight; he yanked and pulled every time you sucked a little too hard. However, you were well aware by the sinful noises falling from his lips that he was really enjoying this—as he did every single time you found yourself on your knees.

Switching back and forth from his dick to his balls, you could tell Mark was close—he had a tendency of tensing up at the endless amount of pleasure you were generously giving to him. Unlike a lot of horror stories you’ve heard about or read online, you genuinely enjoyed giving your boyfriend head. It might have been just the tiniest amount of painful, but hearing and seeing the effect you had on him made the pain worth it.

“Damnit—I didn’t want to come just yet—fuck—“

His warm, creamy liquid was shooting in squirts against your tongue and you swallowed it up entirely before releasing him with a loud pop. You placed a soft kiss against his tip before making your way back up to him.

“God, I can’t even—give me a second would you?”

Your laughter filled the room at the sight of how visibly exhausted he looked; it wasn’t something you weren’t used to though. No matter what it was the two of you did together during your love making sessions, whether it was sucking the life of him, bouncing on him like a rabbit or letting him take you from behind, Mark was notorious for never being able to last long. In the beginning, he was embarrassed that he could reach an orgasm in less than ten minutes, but the longer the two of you would experiment in location, positions, with toys and just taking turns with who would be the dominant one and who would be the submissive one for the night—he realized that there was nothing wrong with the fact that he could cum in a matter of minutes. In fact, he was proud to say that you were just so good to him he couldn’t contain his excitement or his load for that matter.

“I know I say this a lot, but you’re actually going to be the death of me you know that? Come to think of it though, I wouldn’t mind having the cause of my death being sex or particularly getting a heart attack while your pretty mouth is wrapped around my cock or while I’m in the middle of railing the shit out of you. However, I’m very adamant on spending the rest of my life with you—but I’m not complaining. Getting my dick sucked by such a professional is a dream—your mouth is as beautiful as it is so fucking naughty.”

He pulled you up to him and stole a sweet kiss from your lips—gliding his tongue along your bottom lip all but gently. His teeth clashed against yours as he melded his mouth at an angle that was easier to kiss you in. To his dismay, you pulled away to get a better look at him and playfully pinched his cheek.

“You’re an idiot you know that?” He rolled his eyes at your insult before squeezing both of your butt cheeks.

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever. But I’m your idiot and you love me.”

“That I do.”

He beamed up at you before flipping you on top of the bed and hovering over you. His lips found your neck and he began to attack your nape with sloppy kisses.

“Let me return the favor.”

He was about to make his way down to your entrance which he knew was probably soaking at this point when he noticed you shaking your head in disagreement. This shocked him; you were just as much a fan of receiving head as you were of giving—but he wasn’t going to question it. Were you already worn out? He felt bad; you took such amazing care of him and literally blew his mind—it was only natural for him to want to give you that same experience.

“As much as I want your pretty little tongue slurping against my folds while you bury your long, skinny fingers inside of me, I want something else to fill me up. Having you in my mouth only made me want you deep inside of my cunt baby. You can eat me out later. Now—now I need you to fuck me like you hate me.”

The growl that came from the back of his throat went straight to your core—if you weren’t already wet, you would be drenched here pretty soon. He pinned you to the bed and smashed his lips against yours. He gave you no warning as he yanked your blouse off—nearly tearing it at the bottom; earning himself a glare that he simply laughed off.

“I’ve bought you many outfits after ruining them—this time is no different. I just need to see you bare—naked and writhing just for me. I want you—all of you y/n and I can’t help myself—fuck—I’m very blessed to have the honor in seeing your tits every single day but I’m never mentally prepared for what the sight does to me and my overbearing hormones.”

One by one, both his and your clothing items were scattered throughout your room; his mouth encompassed one of your breasts—licking and sucking on your nipple, bringing it in between his teeth while massaging your other breast with his free hand.

“Such a beautiful, beautiful girl with such pretty—pretty titties. My perfect little baby. I’m going to wreck you my love—that’s a promise.”

For hours, you and Mark loved on each other’s bodies—going down on one another, dry humping him and allowing your juices to seep down his leg, riding his cock while he hid his face in between the valley of your breasts, allowing him to take you up against almost every single surface in your apartment, letting him fuck you on all fours while he roughly shoved your face in to the pillows and finally ending in missionary so that he could chant many love confessions while sinking himself in and out of your tight walls.

Once the two of you both tapped out from exhaustion, he started to run you a bath and prepared your things; a pair of clean underwear, your blow dryer and one of his oversized shirts that practically swallowed you whole. He carefully picked you up bridal style and joked about how you should get used to being carried like that since it was likely that the two of you would be tying the knot pretty soon.

Your fiancé took his place inside of the bathtub and brought you down with him; leaning against the tub and allowing you to get comfortable while he grabbed your shampoo bottle and lathered some of it inside of your hair.  

“If I knew how fucking amazing that was going to be, I would have given you alcohol a long time ago. You’re so fucking horny when you’re drunk. You’re also a lot rougher and lewd—I think you’re a lot more libidinous when you’re tipsy and I fucking love it. I’m getting you drunk at least once a week—I think that’s why you literally sucked me dry of all that I have.” You giggled softly before reaching for his hand and placing gentle kisses on each fingertip.

“Baby, look at me.”

You did as you were told and turned around to face him; giving him the softest and most adorable smile he was sure he’s ever seen. There was no way you were real; you were too damn perfect to be real. You had to be a figment of his imagination; yet here you were. Skin on skin; kissing him feather-lightly, running your fingers through his hair, tracing his features and looking at him with so much love and adoration to the point where he was sure he could melt in to a puddle. You hummed in curiosity and brushed back some of his hair while giving him your undying attention.

“I can’t wait to finally marry you. I’m 100% sure our wedding day is going to be the best day of my entire life—especially our wedding night. I wouldn’t be surprised if you end up pregnant the week after—ow! I’m being serious!”

“We literally just had sex for over four hours yet you’re still so horny—you’re a work of art you know that?”

“Well I mean—look at you. You’re an otherworldly goddess, it’s only natural for my dick to be hard 24/7. You’re constantly on my mind at all hours of the day, and in my wet dreams--fine—I’ll be more romantic—I’m serious though, I’ve been wanting to marry you as soon as I understood what marriage was. I can’t even describe how happy you make me—I know I tell you all the time but I don’t think that it’s enough. It’ll never be enough. From what I’ve heard from my aunts, uncles and even my parents, marriage can be rough sometimes. Both partners have to put in the same amount of effort to make a marriage work and I get that. But I also think that when you really—truly and genuinely love your person—then you can get over any obstacle. We’ve had many disagreements in the past and we’re both stubborn as hell, but I’d like to think our little disputes and moments spent apart only strengthen the love we have for each other. I wouldn’t want to go through this life with anyone else but you. I’m telling you—God made you for me and me for you and I pray to him every single night, thanking him for giving me the--my greatest blessing. You.”

You were in tears at this point and playfully began to hit at his chest for making you emotional, but each word did wonders to your heart. He was right; he confessed such heartfelt words to you every single day, but each time he did so, it’s as if he grew more and more sentimental as the days went on.

“I’m going to have to get professional assistance in writing my vows; there’s no way I’ll be able to top whatever it is that you have in mind to tell me. You’re already such a poet during intimate times when it’s just you and I alone, what more when we’re in front of all our families and friends, confessing your true feelings for me on the day we finally become one—in a legal sense but technically in a spiritual sense too. Damnit Mark Tuan—I hope you know that I expect you to be sweet like this even when we’re in our eighties and I’m all old, wrinkly and can barely move around without a cane.” He laughed against your shoulder blade and pressed a gentle kiss there while running his hands along your arms.

“Trust me babe, I only get cheesier as I get older. My love grows for you the longer we’re together for. I don’t care if your boobs sag to your knees or if your arm fat sinks to your elbows, I just know you will still be the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes on and I will remind you every single day until my last breath.”

The two of you sat in the tub for half an hour more; helping the other clean up while sharing fleeting kisses, words of love and adoration, cheeky little touches here and there—mainly the cause of your fiancé and just promises for the future. After you both decided it was time to get out, he grabbed your towel and started wiping you down; drying your hair as much as he could before moving on to himself. You put on the clothes he gave you and began your nighttime routine, brushing your teeth and putting on moisturizer before heading back in to your room.

Mark came out not too long after and plugged in the hair dryer; motioning for you to sit on his lap in order to help you dry your hair. He ran his fingers through your wet locks gently as he moved the blow dryer all around, putting it on the lowest setting so it wasn’t too hot against your scalp. It was the little things like this; doing something for you that you could do by yourself in order to help you out and making sure that you were comfortable and relaxed while he was doing it. Small gestures like these only proved his irrevocable love for you.

“Thank you Mark.” He placed a soft kiss on the top of your head before motioning for you to get off of his lap—but he gave you no time to do anything before pulling you tightly against his body and wrapping his arms around your lower back.

“Of course babe. I love doing these things for you. I’m sure I wore you out, so it’s the least I can do. But I genuinely enjoy being able to do such domestic things for you. I love taking care of you, it’s like my second nature. Now, let’s get you to bed—we have to be up early to pick my parents up from the airport tomorrow. I don’t need my dad giving me snarky looks if he sees you limping. They can stay at a hotel y/n—it’s fine. I’ll pay for it. I don’t think they will appreciate hearing the noises we’ll make nor am I willing to give up your pussy for an entire week so—hit me one more time and we’re going another round don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

As the months went by, you and Mark only grew closer and closer if it were even possible. There were the occasional arguments here and there—him leaving the toilet seat up when you would always nag at him to put it down, you leaving your dishes in the sink instead of washing them right after you were done using them, him being a little too loud as he played his video games and you leaving the light on while you were studying in the middle of the night—there were even situations where Mark would sleep on the couch because you refused to sleep in the same bed as him.

Sometimes you would sit and think that maybe you rushed in to the engagement a little too soon; you might have known with your entire soul that Mark Tuan was the man you were going to spend the rest of your life with, but the stress that came from planning a wedding only added fuel to the already intense fire. However, your fiancé was very good with giving up his pride and apologizing first.

Although, if you just so happened to have started the argument or were the cause of why he was angry, then he wouldn’t take the full blame and instead admit where he was wrong in the situation while mentioning what you could do differently too. Mark wasn’t the type to give you flowers to show that he was sorry; flowers were meant for happy, celebratory or intimate moments. Normally after a fight, he would write you a letter and buy you some of your favorite food—one time he even got you a cake that said sorry on it because he was truly sorry.

He would also show how apologetic he was with his head between your thighs; having you pull on his hair as he got you to sing for him with his teeth nibbling on your clit and his tongue lapping up the juices along your folds. It broke your heart whenever he’d question if you still wanted to marry him—but you knew it was a habit of his to feel insecure whenever the two of you would argue.

Almost twelve years of a relationship and your fiancé still questioned his position in your life every now and then. It made you feel as though you weren’t as verbal or physical as you should be with professing your love to him. There was nothing you could really do other than to reassure him that yes—you still wanted to marry him. Even during times where you gave each other the silent treatment or the cold shoulder, you still wanted to marry him.

Arguments, disputes, yelling at each other to the top of your lungs, not being able to look at him because you were so upset—they weren’t going to change the way you felt about Mark. You would rather fight with him than to be happy with someone else. When Mark was in his last semester of college, he received a letter that you were sure could change his life forever.

One day while he was at work, you went to check the mail. Nothing ever really came in other than bills for doctor’s visits, letters from both your parents, postcards from Jinyoung while he was studying abroad in France and care packages from Jaebeom filled with snacks from Korea. However, there was an envelope addressed to him from the major league baseball association.

Automatically, you found yourself running back to your apartment in order to send Mark multiple text messages about what you discovered. He hadn’t text back immediately and you understood it was because he was at work, but you couldn’t contain your excitement. You might not know exactly what was waiting in that envelope—for all you knew it could have just been a regular subscription to a magazine or something but you couldn’t help feeling as if it was something more than that.

You came to the decision that you would clean up around the house to take your mind off of the glee that was building deep inside of your chest. You also felt the need to cook some of Mark’s favorite food just in case there was a need for celebration. Anyone who knew of your fiancé were well aware that he loved baseball. Mark ate, breathed and slept sports; specifically, baseball.

He preferred football, but right after Jackson got a concussion in their sophomore year, you talked him in to dropping the sport in the fear of him getting badly hurt. He dropped all the other sports and focused solely on baseball. Mark was talented, there was no doubt about it. Everything he put his heart in to—he was such a talented baseball player and that alone was an understatement. Not only was he undoubtedly an all-around player; an amazing catcher, pitcher, hitter and shortstop, but he put in extra time and effort perfecting his performance.

If the letter was what you hoped and believed it was, then you were over the moon for him. When he finally arrived to your shared apartment a few minutes after 8, you flung yourself at him and waved the envelope in front of him.

“Open it, open it, open it—“ You pouted against his lips as soon as he connected them with yours but allowed him to deepen the kiss.

“Mark—“

“Hello to you too. I know you’re probably dying to know what the letter says, but I’ve been dying to have you in my arms all day so let me have five minutes to really take you all in and change before we get to opening it okay?”

You released a soft sigh but nodded in agreement before intertwining your fingers together and leading him over to the couch. He sat down and pulled you on top of his lap—wrapping his arms around your waist out of habit and placing a soft kiss against your bare shoulder blade.

“Tell me about your day my love.”

“Well, I finally turned in that paper that was driving me to the brink of insanity and I’m going to sit in agony for the rest of the week waiting for my professor to give me my grade. BamBam called me about going with him and Yugyeom to pick out a gift for his mom’s birthday this weekend, work was work—boring as usual. Then I come home to this letter and now you’re preventing me from getting to read it—“

“Does it really mean that much to you? I think you’re more excited than I am babe—“

“It does and I am. So can I open it?” He laughed at your enthusiasm—you were always so relentless whenever it came to something like this; so Mark was well aware there was no point in trying to prolong the situation.

“Fine, go ahead. I wish you were this enthusiastic about sex—“

“Mark—babe—oh my God—they want you—THE MLB WANTS YOU! Look, look!”

You practically shoved the letter in his face before getting off of his lap and bouncing around like a little kid on Christmas. He was right; it wasn’t even you who was being given the offer, yet here you were, running all around your living room like a maniac.

Watching and supporting him at every single practice and game he attended since the beginning of his high school career—seeing his eyes light up every time he won a game—being nominated as team captain for every sport he played, you were just so happy for him. Whenever something wonderful happened to either of you, the other one just so happened to be just as delighted—this time was no different.

This was something huge—out of the millions of aspiring baseball players you were sure spent just as much time practicing and putting in work in the hopes of becoming a professional baseball player, your boyfriend was one of the lucky ones who was contacted rather than contacting them. That meant they must’ve been watching him his entire baseball career.

His grades were impeccable—it honestly astounded you how he did so well with school while working full time and going to practice for hours on end. Mark was an otherworldly being—there was no way he was human. He was too good to be true. When you took a look at him, he had a blank stare on his handsome face.

Usually you were really good at reading his facial expressions and you could tell what he was feeling by looking at his body movements, but right now—you had no idea what he could be thinking or what he was feeling and it worried you. Maybe this was his way of taking it all in; he wasn’t loud and overbearing the way you were whenever something good happened. He celebrated in silence, it’s just who he was. You made your way in between his legs; bringing one hand in to his hair while cupping his cheek with the other.

“Talk to me babe, what are you thinking?” He looked at you and gave you a soft smile before shrugging.

“I can’t—I can’t believe this. This is so cool—I’ve been wanting this since I was a little kid. I’ve been watching baseball for years and every time the Dodgers had a game, I told my parents that I wanted to be a professional baseball player. Not once in my entire life would I ever have thought I’d be given an offer, this is crazy.”

You smiled at his words; even if he didn’t say anything, you were sure this had to be a big deal to him. He brought his baseball bat with him everywhere when you were kids. He’d also always wear a baseball cap even against your pleas when you’d go on your dates back in middle school. Baseball was in his blood and he was going to be able to have a career that he actually would enjoy.

“So, how are you supposed to accept the offer? Do you call them? Email them? Should we go to the stadium tomorrow—“

“I won’t be accepting the offer.”

Your eyes widened at shock at his sudden revelation. Did he just say he had no intentions on getting back to them? Was he crazy? Being awake for almost 24 hours had to be the reason behind his confession. There was no way he was going to give up such an indescribable opportunity. You were sure if Jackson were to receive the same letter, he’d be jumping at the chance and he would have the same reaction you currently had.

“Mark, you can’t be serious. Maybe you should think about this a little longer. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. This is your dream babe, what if you end up regretting your decision down the line—“

“I’m already living out my dream baby. You are my dream. I’m months—maybe even weeks away from marrying the woman of my dreams. I’m a few months away from graduation and I already have a couple of job offers lined up. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so grateful that they would even consider me and I just know everyone’s going to be disappointed with my decision, but think about it y/n. Training is a solid year, and what if I end up playing for a team outside of California? What if Denver wants me, or Nevada, or Oregon—“

“Then I’ll follow you wherever it is babe. Don’t give up because you’re afraid of us being apart. We’re older now, we’re wiser and we know the sacrifices we have to make in order to be happy together. I will go wherever it is that they want you to go. I don’t care if we end up going somewhere boring like Idaho, I’ll be right there by your side—your number one fan like always; shouting your name and cheering you on from the stands. Don’t worry about me or our future together—I—we’ll be perfectly fine. I just want you to be happy Mark.” He gave you a toothy grin before pulling you back on to his lap and left a peck on your cheek.

“God, I really am the luckiest man in the entire world. You’re so wonderful y/n. I—I love you so fucking much. Thank you—your endless support means everything to me—you—you mean everything to me. But my mind is already made up. I’m thinking about the long run; MLB isn’t the same as college or high school baseball. Contracts get messy—and when we start having kids, what if they have me switching teams and we have to move again? I couldn’t do that to them. What if you get a job in California that you end up loving only to find out that we have to pick up and move again? This isn’t just my future we’re talking about—it’s yours, ours together and our family’s when we finally start having kids. Plus, I don’t want to end up hating the sport of something bad happens. The last eight years have been amazing, but I don’t think I want to be physically overworked anymore. I want to enjoy life—not spend every moment worrying about taking the team to victory. Baseball is extremely competitive; I don’t think I want to put up with all that unnecessary bullshit. I know it’s upsetting to hear, but just know I won’t regret a thing, okay?”

Hearing his explanation as to why he didn’t want to take up the offer made a lot of sense. You couldn’t force him to do something he didn’t want to, especially when he had his many reasons as to why he wouldn’t want to spend another five to ten years being told what to do by coaches who probably couldn’t care less about him other than the money he’d make for them. You hid your face in the crook of his neck; breathing in the scent of his cologne and leaving a few wet kisses against his collarbones. “I support every decision you make. I trust you Mark—I know you’re doing what you think is best for everybody—damnit, I wish you would do something for yourself for once, but maybe this is for you in disguise. Why don’t you go take a quick shower and I’ll make you something to eat?” He hummed contently against your cheek and pulled you down with him on the couch; allowing you to hover over him while placing his hands not so innocently on your butt.

“That would be nice, but let me hold you for a little while please? I wasn’t lying when I said I missed you—“ you playfully shoved his shoulder as your cheeks warmed up hearing how whipped he was for you.

“You saw me this morning clingy—“

“Yeah, but that was this morning. I feel like we hardly ever see each other these days. I can’t wait to finally graduate, we’ll have much more time to spend together. More time in positions like this—with less clothing—or none at all really.”

His laughter made your heart flutter and you found yourself laughing along with him. For someone who was 23-years-old, his laugh was so high pitched—it never seemed to change and that was one thing you were glad about staying the same.

The next few months came and went within a blink of an eye. Nothing really big happened other than attending your fiancé’s last few college baseball games and searching for wedding venue, but like Mark had mentioned before, he wanted the both of you to be ready—free of stress before you finally got married.

On his last day of school, the two of you along with Jackson, BamBam and Yugyeom went out to a bar in celebration of Mark and Jackson’s last few days before heading in to the real world. The three older boys teased you about how they hand plans on taking Mark to a strip club and that’s when you retaliated with the idea that you were going to ban them from the wedding.

It was in times like these—laughing about your past together and remembering all the good memories that seemed so far away now that made you sad about how fast time flies by. Although Mark’s group of friends who were considerably family to you claimed that they would make sure to keep in touch with you and your soon-to be husband. BamBam even hinted towards moving in with the two of you once you were to buy a house to which Mark was quick to shut him down.

This was the fourth graduation of his that you had the honor of attending and just like the last three ones, you found yourself crying tears of joy. Your boyfriend never failed to make you so proud; he always wanted to be the best he could be—even if it meant staying up to study, staying back an extra hour at practice to work on his pitching and taking on extra credit. Mark was a firm believer in regretting the chances he didn’t take, so he made the most of every single endeavor he took on.

When Mark broke the news to his family about not accepting the offer to become a professional baseball player, they weren’t too pleased. They witnessed how much of an amazing athlete your fiancé was, he had to be crazy not to accept something so big like becoming a professional baseball player. However, after Mark explained himself, his family were a little more understanding. Sure, it all sounded good on paper, but then again, what if things didn’t end up the way he assumed that they would?

What if scandals were made up about him or even about you since he would be somewhat in the limelight? A part of him began to grow curious about what could actually happen if he were to sign a contract with the league, but he was sure things could get messy if he were to try and leave before his contract ended.

Unlike Mark’s family, his friends didn’t take the news lightly; especially Jackson. The younger boy was very vocal about how much of a mistake he believed his older friend was making. Ever since the first time they met, both Mark and Jackson had dreams to make it to the big league.

Unfortunately, Jackson focused solely on the athletic aspect and not on his grades, so recruiters immediately decided that he wasn’t who they were looking for, even if he was just as amazing player as Mark was. Your fiancé was patient with Jackson; taking each and every jab, listening to each and every complaint—but he did grow frustrated after a while. What did no one understand about making decisions for other people in your life, not just yourself.

Jackson wasn’t a selfish person—well, he did care about himself quite a bit, but that’s because he worked extremely hard to get to where he was. However, he didn’t have anyone to worry about the way Mark had you. It really didn’t matter to him what anyone had to say anymore, you were supportive of his decision and your opinion was the only one that mattered to him.

“Congratulations baby, I’m so proud of you. You never cease to amaze me you know that?” He gave you his signature award winning smile and allowed you to give him the multiple leis you both made and bought for him before pulling you in for a brief, chaste kiss.

“I mean, you remind me at least three times a day, but I don’t mind hearing you say it again.”

You cupped both of his cheeks with your hands and grazed your thumbs gently just below his eyes. Like always, you and Mark were in your own little worlds, smiling adoringly at one another, holding each other protectively, stealing wet kisses—you both gave no attention to anyone around you. Neither of you knew just how long you stayed like that; just basking happily in the other’s presence, it’s as though you were caught in a trance that none of you could break out of.

If it was your choice, you’d take your fiancé home and order a bunch of his favorite foods in celebration of his huge milestone, but you didn’t want to be rude and have him all to yourself before the rest of his friends and family could come and congratulate him.

“I would tell the two of you to get a room, but there’s really no point. I just know you both are the type to make out in church—freaky asses. You’re getting condoms from me for your wedding gift.”

You playfully shoved Yugyeom and rolled your eyes at the sound of the three other guys bursting out in laughter at his immature comment. Yeah, nothing’s changed at all.

“Wow, we’re all getting old guys. The two oldest of all of us are college graduates and we’re not far behind what the fuck? Time needs to slow the hell down, there’s still so many college parties I have yet to attend.” The five of you continued to stay and talk for a few minutes until Jackson finally came over to join in on all the madness.

“Shit dude, we’re fucking college graduates, can you believe it?”

The two of them did their handshake they’ve been doing from the time they were kids before pulling each other in for a hug. Looking at all five of them, you wish you could freeze this specific moment in time. You remembered how much it sucked when they all went away for college, especially because most of your best high school memories were because of them.

Now you were all going your separate ways again—even if you knew you were all going to stay friends for the long run and that you would make plans to meet each other again every so often, it wouldn’t be the same. You could only hope the next chapter in your life and in Mark’s was going to make up for all the change that you could have done without.

“I still won’t forgive you for not taking on the offer, you could have made it big dude and I could have used you as leverage for getting promotions and shit, but I guess I can see why you said no. Your pussy must be magical y/n—ow!”

“She was just as upset with my decision as you were, but I have another person I have to include in my future plans Jacks, this isn’t just my life or my future we’re talking about. It’s hers too and I’m going to do whatever I can to make her life easier, even if it means making such huge sacrifices that others might not agree with. I don’t mean to get all sappy, but all my decisions that I make are with y/n in mind. What is best for her—for us as a couple. What will keep her safe, happy, healthy—I care about her well-being and her happiness more than I do my own. I hope one day you’ll be able to experience a similar kind of love and then maybe you’ll be able to see why I did what I’m deciding to do.”

You reached for his hand and intertwined your fingers with his; squeezing them ever so softly while bringing his hand up to your lips and placing a soft kiss against his wrist. Hearing Mark explain to you that he did not want to join the MLB because of how difficult it would be having to move around so much and then hearing him tell his friends that he cared about making decisions based on what he felt would benefit you brought you to the brink of tears.

That man really did love you, there was no other explanation for his selflessness. You wanted to feel bad that he gave up such a once in a lifetime opportunity that so many other guys his age would have accepted in a heartbeat specifically because he didn’t want to put you under the stress of being a spouse of a professional athlete—but you knew if you were in Mark’s position, you would have his same mindset. You cared more about him than you did yourself—so you completely recognized the idea that all he really wanted was to have you by his side at all times. What was the point of having your dream job if your dream person was thousands of miles away?

“Well—when you put it like that—nah I still think you’re dumb as hell but that’s only because I know I will never find anyone who could love me even half as much as you and y/n love each other. God made you specifically for the other and I just want to know, GOD WHEN IS IT GOING TO BE MY TURN?”

You all burst out laughing at Jackson’s complaining but you did find his words very heartwarming. It always intrigued you whenever someone would describe your relationship with Mark from their point of view. It’s as though everyone had the same opinion—you were two peas in a pod—best friends who had the amazing honor of becoming lovers and were seemingly so obsessed with each other.

“Okay, let’s get drunk at y/n and Mark’s place so we don’t have to worry about getting kicked out of a bar for falling asleep—“

“Hey, what if y/n and I already had plans? You guys can’t just invite yourselves over without our permission—“

“Oh we all know you’re going to fuck once you get home. You have the rest of your lives to have sex you nymphomaniacs, spend some time with us before we all start settling down and no longer are able to anymore.”

Just like everything else in your life, the time seemed to go by faster than you would have wanted it to. Mark decided to give himself the summer to relax and enjoy the last few moments as a recent college graduate before going on the hunt for a job in engineering.

Some days, you went to look around at wedding venues, flower shops and even catering companies because you were growing more and more serious about speeding up the date of the wedding. You were just so excited to finally marry the love of your life, neither of you seemed to care that you weren’t financially ready to pay for a wedding.

Other days were spent traveling all around New York, making the most of the last few months you had left there. You only had a semester and a half left of college left as although you were going to miss the fast paced and upbeat life in the big city, you were more than happy to finally return back to California.

Most days, Mark stuck on to you like glue; he always needed to be around you—holding you as you swept the floor, prepared lunch, hung the laundry or even as you took a shower, he desired to be in close proximity with you. The two of you hardly ever fought anymore—there was nothing really to argue about; even if there were a few things that he did that would get on your nerves and you knew there were things you did that probably got under his skin, you both learned to completely dismiss whatever it was that bothered you. It wasn’t worth getting mad over.

If something did seem to be the matter, your communication progressed and it was easier now to tell each other when you didn’t like one another’s habits. You ended up transferring to UCLA in your last semester when Mark received an offer in downtown Los Angeles to work at one of the biggest tech companies in the state of California and just the entire country in general. It didn’t bother you to have to transfer on such short notice, there wasn’t much you had to do to send over your information anyway.

Mark felt guilty knowing that you were sacrificing so much in order to be with him; attending college in New York when you could have just stayed with your family while waiting for him to graduate from college—waiting in multiple lines at the cashier’s and registrar’s offices to get the specific documents you needed for your transfer, having to pack up all of yours and Mark’s things in less than a week so that you would be able to fly back to Los Angeles in time for Mark’s orientation at his new job.

Not once did you complain about having to do any of these things for him nor did you ever disclose how exhausted you must have been, but that was just who you were. You did things for the older boy without hesitation because of the eternal love you held for him and because you knew he would have done the same for you in a heartbeat.

Little did you know, your sacrifices would pay off for the not so little surprise he had waiting for you back home. Leaving New York was bittersweet; you have developed fondness over the lively city; the night life was a lot more fun than California’s and it actually snowed—something you were genuinely going to miss.

The flight back went by faster than you expected; although, most of that time was spent with your face hidden in the crook of Mark’s neck as you slept most of the day away, tired from the last bit of packing that you did. Thankfully, Mark took care of everything else, dragging both your luggage and your carry-on along with pulling your lethargic body through the airport.

He also bought you some snacks for the plane ride that obviously went unopened, but you scarfed down as soon as the two of you landed and called yourselves a taxi. You were quick to pick up on the fact that Mark seemed excited about something; he was playing with his fingers as his leg began to jitter—he began taking a look at his phone every so often and you were too busy focusing on his now suspicious demeanor to realize that the driver was taking you down a road that you weren’t quite familiar with. He looked at you with a gentle smile and softly squeezed your hand while placing a soft kiss on your forehead.

“I love you.”

No matter how many times he’s said that four letter word, your entire body would end up in flames every single time. You playfully pinched at his cheek and hid your face in the crook of his neck to hide the fact that his words were making you feel all warm and bubbly inside.

“I love you too.”

When the car came to a halt, that’s when you took a look outside and you furrowed your brows in confusion. Did the driver make a mistake? You were currently in front of a house you’ve never seen before; it was a beautiful house in a nice looking neighborhood, but it was unfamiliar to you. Where were the two of you exactly?

Mark didn’t give you a second to even let out a word—he made his way out of the car to pay the driver and thank him for the ride. He grabbed both your bags and headed towards the house without even looking to see if you were treading right behind him. He quickly opened the gate and continued to make his way to the front door and in the corner of your eye, you saw the names on the mailbox that brought you more curiosity.

“Mr. and Mrs.Tuan.”

“Babe! When did your parent’s get a new house?” He stopped in his tracks once he made his way up the three steps and turned around—sporting the biggest grin on his face.

“They didn’t. We did.”

Your eyes widened in shock at his sudden revelation. Was he serious? This house was yours? But how—when—

“I can feel you overthinking baby. Get over here and I’ll explain everything.”

You were feeling so many different emotions; excitement, confusion, elation—more positive feelings than negative, but you were soon overwhelmed with happiness and the desire to look around.

“This—this is our house?” He nodded happily before reaching for your hands and swinging them back and forth.

“Yeah. This is our house baby. I remember you going in to detail about the house of your dreams many times—there’s two floors, six bedrooms, three bathrooms, a dining room, a backyard and you even have a walk-in closet—“

You jumped on to your fiancé all the while wrapping your arms tightly around his waist and began leaving wet, fleeting kisses all along his jaw and the nape of his neck. He pulled you closer to his body and laughed softly at your multiple reactions.

“Wait, when did you do all of this—how can you afford this Mark? This is a house—I’m sure it costs at least half a million dollars—why—who—I can’t even speak right now—“

The sloppy kiss along with the cheeky squeeze against your butt stopped you from continuing to stutter—you were just that speechless and in awe at the thought of him pulling all kinds of strings in order to purchase the two of you a house.

Not just an ordinary house—the house you’ve been designing in your head and even on paper for longer than Mark could even remember. He placed you down so that he could give you a tour of your new estate and reached for your hand; pulling you in the direction of the kitchen. He was so excited to show you around; it boggled your mind that the place was fully furnished. Every piece of furniture matched so well with the colors of the walls; the fridge and cabinets were stocked with all of your favorite foods and snacks.

The bathrooms had such pretty curtains and towels; engraved with both your initials—it was so much more than you could have ever asked for. As he showed you every single room, you felt tears brim at your eyelids when talked about your future kids and how he purchased this specific house so that they were all going to have their own rooms once the two of you finally got around to expanding your family. You were well aware that the two of you were going to settle down one day soon and start having kids, but knowing that he made decisions based on what would be best for your children—it did wonders on your heart. Your fiancé was really the most considerate and remarkable human being you’ve ever met.

“The room downstairs is the guest room and I made it that way for a reason; BamBam and Yugyeom wouldn’t shut up about getting their own rooms here. I don’t know why I told them about this house; I’m genuinely shocked that they’ve actually kept this a secret from you. But then again, I did promise that I’d put aside a room for them. However, I said room, not rooms. Plus, I don’t want them complaining about not getting any sleep while they’re here—what? Why do you always look at me like that whenever I insinuate that we’re going to have sex? You act like you don’t have fun when we make love—your kinky ass always hints towards sucking my dick almost every day don’t act like you’re innocent. Now, to the last and the best room in the house; our room.”

He motioned for you to open the door all the while biting his lips nervously. The entire house so far was in more or less words perfect beyond belief, but you knew that he wanted this room to be your favorite. Right as you opened the doors, your jaw dropped—you were at a loss for words. The walls were a light blue shade—one of your favorite colors.

There was a queen size bed in the middle of the room and a couch right in front of it. There was a long mirror right next to the closet, two separate desks; one you assumed was yours and the other one being his, a vanity—the same vanity you’ve had your eyes on for months, a few pictures of the two of you scatted all across the walls and a night stand. Your mouth practically dropped to the floor in disbelief—you were still having such a hard time processing the idea that this house belonged to you and your soon-to-be husband.

“Wait baby—before you say anything, go check out the closet.”

You were a wreck at this point; the tears kept falling from your cheeks and Mark’s laughter echoed throughout the room. He’s done so many things for you in the last decade—things that were by far life changing and sometimes hard to wrap your mind around the idea that someone had the ability to love another person the way Mark irrevocably and profusely loved you.

But this—buying the two of you a house at the age of 24-years-old—a house that was one right out of the movies—one that a couple your age with jobs that the two of you had could only fantasize of having—this had to be the best thing he did for you so far and you felt in your chest that it would be hard to top. Once you opened the door to your closet, you gasped at just how spacious it was.

Sometimes you and Mark would watch house renovation shows in your free time and you’ve talked about wanting to have a walk-in closet. He made snide remarks about you having so many clothes that you never even used and how it would be best for you to have a space big enough to put all your clothes so you could actually see what you owned; but you would have never considered it to be this wide. You walked around and smiled slightly at how much of a dream this all felt—but the grip on your hips made it all the more real that you were going to live here.

“So, what do you think?”

You spun around and playfully thumped him on the forehead when he laughed at your emotional state before roughly smashing your lips against his. You were still trying to form the right words to explain exactly how you were feeling and how wonderful your fiancé was to even plan everything on his own. He deepened the kiss—humming contently as he felt you nibble on his tongue while smiling against his lips.

“I can’t even—God Mark—you—you’re so wonderful I can’t even fathom it in to words. I love it—I love it so much—this house is everything I could have wanted in a house and more—It’s perfect—almost as perfect as you—I still can’t believe it holy shit I’m so fucking happy—and I can’t wait to start living here with you—what did you do to get it? Did you sell a kidney or something—“

“You’re such a silly girl you know that? Babe, we all know I’m saving my kidney for you—I would only ever give my kidney to you. Hell, you can have my heart if you needed it—it’s yours anyway. But try not to need it right now, I kind of want to live as long as I possibly can to enjoy life with you. I might as well just tell you everything because you’re probably going crazy thinking about how I went about with this entire thing. I’ve been planning on getting us a house even before I proposed to you. I had to put a down payment of $20,000 which I took from scholarships and what I made at the coffee shop—my parents helped pay for the furniture and I’m currently taking a loan from the bank to pay for the first few months of mortgage until I can find an actual career. I know we were going to get a house sooner or later, but I wanted to surprise you. You’ve sacrificed so much for me—for us to be together. You were back and forth from California and New York—you left your family and everything familiar to you just to be with me. Then you left your last semester at NYU just to follow me back home—you never complained once about any sacrifice you made because of my decisions. You did everything in a heartbeat and I couldn’t come up with a way to show you or even tell you how grateful I am for you and how much you mean the entire world to me. I told you I’d take care of you didn’t I? I know it must be hard for you, so it was the least I could do. There’s so much more you deserve and so much more I want to do for you, but I was hoping a house would suffice for right now. Don’t worry your pretty little head about anything else okay? I’m really glad you like it. I tried to get all the furniture you wanted, but we can go shopping maybe sometime this week if there’s something you want to return or replace—“ You shook your head in disagreement and placed a quick peck on the corner of his mouth while bringing one of your hands up to his hair and running your fingers through his soft, brown locks.

“Everything is perfect—I’m still in shock—really, everything is amazing. Thank you baby—thank you so much. You didn’t have to do this just yet though, I would’ve been content with a studio or a one bedroom apartment until we could actually afford something as amazing as this house—“

“Should I call the bank and tell them to cancel the loan—“

“Don’t you fucking dare Tuan I will end you.” The two of you erupted in laughter at your hostility as he picked you up and threw you on to the bed all but gently.

“I’m kidding baby. I know, I’ve actually thought about doing that—but then I thought about how excited you would have been—how you are right now when you were to actually see the house and I’m happy I decided to go along with purchasing it. Now that we got around to exploring the place, how about you and I break in the bed?”

Normally, you would roll your eyes at his suggestion, but you found yourself flipping your bodies over so that you were hovering on top of his lap. You began to grind your clothed core against his pelvis—earning yourself a breathy groan from the handsome boy as he brought his hands down to your ass.

“Do whatever you want with me Mark—tonight is all about you babe.” The growl that fell from the back of his throat went straight to your pussy and you found yourself biting your lip at the tight feeling in your lower stomach.

“Fuck—I just bought this bed—ah whatever, we can just get another one tomorrow. I’m going to wreck your pretty little cunt babe. If it’s any consolation—I pictured taking you up against every surface in this house after my parents sent me the photos. God y/n, I’m so fucking in love with you—but tonight I’m going to fuck you as if I despise the shit out of you.”

Mark landed a job at one of the most prestigious construction companies in California as a civil engineer. He genuinely enjoyed it; although it wasn’t the easiest job in the world, it paid well and the hours weren’t all too bad. He was also told by his manager that if he were to do well, he could get promoted in less than a year and there were many opportunities for him to become someone prominent in the company.

You were currently in your last semester of college and you were offered a teacher’s assistant position at the elementary school just ten minutes away from your house. You and Mark got to spend more time with each other now that your schedules no longer collided; most of your classes were online and he finished work at around 5 o’clock—so the two of you found yourselves trying out new recipes together that you’d see on the food network, driving all over California—watching movies at the theater, going to the arcade, grocery shopping and all kinds of other fun activities that neither of you used to have the time for.

Both your families would come over for dinner; and it was the first night that your parents came over did your fiancé break the news of the engagement to them. Just like they reacted when they first heard about your relationship back in middle school, they weren’t exactly surprised. You and Mark always made decisions before talking to anyone about your plans, but the two of you were old enough to make choices for yourselves. If your mom was upset, she didn’t show it nor did she say anything until after dinner—but she was genuinely so happy for you and couldn’t stop raving over how excited she was for the two of you to get married.

Your rowdy group of friends; specifically, Jackson and BamBam came over more times than Mark would have wanted them to. You were fine with the guys coming over to visit as much as they felt like, but Mark was very vocal about how he wanted to spend as much alone time with you before you were to settle in to your career and before your family of two turned in to three—four—five—or however many children you both decided on having one day.

“Just say you hate having us over because you can’t fuck with us around. I have no problem with that; free porn, plus y/n is sexy as hell. She gives porn stars a run for their money—“

“You’re banned from ever coming back here again Wang.”  

You and Mark were just about done with wedding arrangements and you didn’t realize just how fast the days were going by. It wasn’t until you and Mark were cuddling in bed one night after you returned home from dinner with your sister did he remind you that your wedding was less than one week away. Since all the planning started over a year ago and you had pretty much everything set—your dress, his tux, your bridesmaid’s dresses, his groomsmen’s suits, a reservation to the hotel you were having your reception at, the cake, the flower pieces, the DJ, the centerpieces and receiving back all of the invitations with an RSVP from every single person you invited, you were both good to go. All you had to really worry about was messing up your makeup because you were positive you’d end up crying an ocean of tears. Literally.

“You’re going to be Mrs.Tuan in less than a week—are you excited? Because I know I am—I can’t wait to see you walk down the aisle looking like the most ethereal goddess to walk this earth. We both know I’m going to cry—so just be ready for that. I can’t believe it’s almost here. I’ve been waiting fifteen years for this moment. I can’t wait to put the ring on your pretty little finger—and I’m even more excited for the honeymoon—“

“Of course you are, horndog. Sometimes I feel as though you’re only with me for the sex.” You giggled at his fake hurt reaction as he put his hand on his chest and gasped in disbelief.

“I’m with you because you’re the love of my life and because I’m so madly in love with you. The sex is just a bonus—an extremely great bonus.”

“You’re insatiable.” He beamed up at you and cupped your cheek in his palm; grazing his thumb right above your brow.

“And you love me for it.”

“I do. I really do.”

As much as you didn’t want the wedding to come just yet because you knew once it did arrive, it would go by so quickly and you just wanted to revel in it as much as you possibly could. The night before your wedding, Mark’s friends begged you to allow them to have a bachelor party to celebrate his last night as an unmarried man—and you actually allowed it.

He deserved to have fun; but under one condition—he had to allow you your fun too. Your sister alongside his two older sisters planned a bachelorette party for you. It was only you, your sister, his sisters and a few of your cousins, but you all had an amazing time. They all snuck you a few drinks here and there, you ate all of your favorite foods and danced along to some of your favorite songs.

They even surprised you with a few male strippers—but it was all in good fun. His sisters made sure to send him a few videos of you enjoying yourself—allowing one of the dancers to give you a lap dance and he would not stop calling all three of you once receiving the photos and videos. He claimed that the guys pulled the same stunt on him—Jackson, against your wishes ordered a few strippers to stop by their hotel room, but Mark did not let any of the strippers near him in fear of upsetting you.

You however, were having a great time knowing that he was probably growing angry with the idea of another man getting so close to you—in proximity that only he should be allowed to. It was selfish of you—but you loved seeing your fiancé get all riled up in jealousy—it was a huge turn on and you were excited for the punishment you knew you’d receive once you were both to return home.

“Y/n.” You looked up at Mark’s sister in curiosity at the sudden call of your name.

“I’m so excited to have you as a sister-in-law. My brother—he really loves you. I think we all knew this day was going to come since the day he came home with the biggest grin on his face, telling us that he made a friend at A+ and that she was such an amazing artist. Then I got to witness how bashful he’d get whenever someone would bring up your name in conversation. He even had me go shopping for rings with him to get a woman’s opinion on what would be the perfect ring. I’m sure a lot of people have told you this already, but the two of you were made for one another. I believe that wholeheartedly. Your love—the love you have for each other—it’s one to be envious of. You’re perfect for one another—the term soulmates isn’t even a good enough word to describe what you and Mark have. I wish you both nothing but happiness, health, wealth and success. Welcome to the family.” You wiped away a stray tear before pulling her in to a hug.

“Thank you Tammy. That’s so sweet of you to say. Your brother means everything to me and I can’t even tell you how much of a positive impact he’s had on my life. I’d be nothing without him. Truly nothing.”

You all continued to celebrate for one more hour until everyone felt that it would be best for you to get some rest before your big day. Your soon-to-be husband had other plans however. Once your sister dropped you off—Mark gave you no time to even put your bag down before he pressed you up against the door.

“Hmmm, someone missed me.” He attacked your neck with sloppy kisses and sucked all but gently right below your ear.

“I did—can’t say the same about you though. What a naughty girl. Did you have a nice time having a half-naked man grind himself against your lap—“

“Don’t act like the victim babe. I have social media too you know. Should’ve told BamBam to block me before uploading videos of you receiving a little dance of your own. Plus, it was your sister’s idea to get strippers. I had no clue that they were coming tonight—“

“I’m sure they came in more than one way with how lethal you look. Whatever—that doesn’t matter, I’m the one who gets to love on this beautiful body of yours. By the way, once I’m done rearranging your guts, I’m calling the both of them and uninviting them.”

He roughly picked you up and threw you over his shoulder; slapping both of your ass cheeks as he made his way to the bedroom. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t gleeful for what was to come. You loved it when Mark would remind you exactly who you belonged to.

“Wait, I know we’ve joked about someone having to push me in a wheel chair down the aisle but I swear to God Mark if I can’t walk tomorrow I’m filing for divorce.” He rolled his eyes at your comment before pinning you down to the bed and reconnecting his lips to your pressure point just above your collarbone.

“Fine—I’ll go easy on you tonight. I can’t say the same about tomorrow night though. Good luck with getting out of bed once during the entire honeymoon. Actually—spending an entire week with you indoors doing nothing but each other sounds perfect—“

“You’re getting papers on Monday.”

“Babe!” You laughed against his lips; he was always so gullible. You let out a soft moan when you felt his hands go in to your blouse as he dragged his nail along the valley of your breast; flicking at one of your nipples before cupping both of your mounds with his hands.

“Fuck it—who cares if you have to be pushed in a wheelchair—I need to ruin you.”

The entire night was spent showing each other just how excited you both were to be finally tying the knot. He spent a lot of time with his face in between your thighs, bringing you to heaven three times before you tapped out from exhaustion. You also rode him to the point where he had to physically lift you off of his cock or he was sure he would cum faster than he would like to.

The next morning, you woke up with a pleasurable pain in your legs, but it wasn’t unbearable. You were surprised when you woke up to an empty bed, but your question of where Mark could have been was soon answered when you smelled what you thought was pancakes coming from the kitchen.

After picking up his discarded shirt from the night before and putting it on, you made your way downstairs to the kitchen and found your fiancé wearing nothing but his boxers. The sight made your cheeks warm. You slowly made your way over to him and placed your chin against his shoulder blade—leaving a kiss there before bringing both hands around his bare abdomen.

“Good morning handsome. That smells good. What’s the special occasion? You never cook—“

“Hey, that’s not true. I cook all the time—“

“Instant ramen doesn’t count Mark.” He scoffed before turning to face you and gave you a peck on your nose.

“I’m going to remember that the next time you ask me to make you ramen. Today is a special day, I’m finally marrying my best friend. I just wanted to give you a glimpse of what married life is going to be like—for the first week. Don’t expect this on a weekly basis though. I know I love you more than life itself and I know I’d do anything you’d ask me to, but I cut the line at cooking.”

You hummed against his chest and held him for a few seconds before he released you from his embrace and asked for you to prepare the table. You both ate in silence; stealing glances from each other every now and then, but you were just basking in the other’s presence. Sometimes, you preferred staying in the peace and quiet with Mark. You were able to appreciate him better that way. Once you both were finished with breakfast, you stole a few kisses and got ready to head over to the hotel.

The entire drive was filled with so much laughter and fleeting kisses every time Mark pulled up to a stop light. It didn’t take too long to arrive and right as you both got out of the car, he lazily wrapped his arms around your lower waist and placed his chin on the top of your head.

“The next time we see each other, we’ll be exchanging our vows and making the most important promise to one another. I’ll see you soon baby. I love you y/n. I love you so much babe.”

With a few more kisses all over your face, he sent you on your way to your sister’s suite. Everyone in the room was so frantic; your mother looked as if she was about to throw up with how she was pacing all over the room.

“There you are! You’re almost twenty minutes late.” You apologized profusely; giving her the excuse that there was traffic, but your mother wasn’t born yesterday.

“You and Mark can go a few minutes without sucking each other’s faces off. Now go change in to your dress so that the makeup artist and hairdresser can start working on you. I think guests are already on their way.” Your sister gave you a knowing look and laughed softly to herself while you took the seat next to her.

“How are you feeling? I’m still having a hard time processing that you’re getting married before me, but we all knew Mark was going to propose sooner rather than later. I’m surprised the two of you didn’t get married right after high school. Everyone and their mother’s know how much the two of you are obsessed with each other and that is an understatement. I’m really happy for you y/n. You may be moments away from becoming a married woman, but you will always be my little sister. Never hesitate to come to me if and whenever you need me okay?”

She let out a giggle when she saw tears brimming at your eyelids and reached over to wipe them away. “If you’re already crying at my words, what more when Mark reads his vows?”

Hair and makeup took less than an hour and you couldn’t stop staring at yourself. You never really thought much about yourself. Sure, you thought you were decent looking, but you knew there were many more beautiful girls in the world you wished you could look like. Mark never let you talk negative about yourself though. The minute you said anything negative about yourself--he’d bring you to a mirror and point out every single thing about you that he loved, which was everything about you. Every freckle, birthmark, dimple, scar, curve--he loved it all.

But right now, you felt so beautiful. Everyone in the room began to cry; Mark’s mom, your mom, your sister and his sisters. They all raved about how gorgeous you looked. However, once you put on the dress, their compliments grew.

“You look like a princess y/n. You’re so pretty. Mark’s definitely going to cry, I’m so excited.”

You laughed at Grace’s comment and thanked everyone before walking over to your mom. Her makeup was ruined at this point, but she didn’t seem to care. She pulled you in to a hug and ran her fingers through your hair.

“Where did the time go? I still remember the day you finally told me about Mark after hiding him from me for months. Now you’re just a few minutes away from marrying him. You look stunning my baby girl; absolutely gorgeous. I’m so, so happy for you and I know you’re in great hands. I trust that Mark will take good care of you. That man loves you, I say that with so much confidence. I’ve seen the way he looks at you and he might not have wanted me to tell you this, but he actually called me up on your junior prom night right after you came home upset and he was sobbing. He begged me to make sure you would take care of yourself and that he was sorry for what he put you through. I know you love him just as much. I’ve never met two people who wholeheartedly belonged to each other the way you and Mark were destined to be together. Just remember, I don’t care that you’re going to be a married woman, you will always be my little girl. If anything ever happens, you can always come running to me baby. But I know Mark’s it for you, so I have nothing to worry about. I love you y/n. More than you will ever know sweetheart. Now, I think it’s time for you to get married. Shall we?”

Your heart felt as if it was going to jump out of your chest. The bridal party made their way down to the third floor and to your surprise, BamBam was waiting right outside the door. “The man of honor has arrived--oh my God--y/n--”

“Hey Bam. You look great!” He smiled bashfully and politely thanked you before looking at you up and down; his jaw dropped but he quickly closed his mouth before grabbing at one of your hands and bringing it up to his lips, placing a soft kiss on the back of it.

“Wow--you look--wow, I’m a fucking genius. I knew this was the dress. You look so beautiful, you could honestly pass off as a Disney princess. Ah, I better stop looking at you or else I won’t hear the end of it from your soon-to-be husband. Now let’s go. As much as I want to say I can’t wait for the two of you to hurry up and get married, I’m fucking starving so the sooner you walk down the aisle, the sooner I get to stuff my face with crab legs and you won’t hear a word from me.”

BamBam could sense your nervousness, but deep down he believed it was more excitement than it was any kind of negative emotion. When you made it down to the chapel, you watched your cousins and Mark’s friends one by one make their way in to the room. You laughed when BamBam lined up next to one of your brothers and linked arms with him.

You heard your dad before you got the chance to see him. There was only two times you’ve ever seen him cry; once at your grandmother’s funeral and the second time during a fight that he had with your mom. Apparently their marriage was on the rocks at that time but you were too young to understand. It came as a shock to you when your sister told you about it when you were eighteen, but they both decided that it would be best for them to take couple’s reconciling classes in order to rekindle their marriage and their marriage only grew stronger after a few months. He released a long sigh before brushing away the many tears running down his face.

“Hi daddy.”

“Hi princess. You look so beautiful. Mark’s a very lucky guy. I still can’t believe my baby is getting married. You know, you’re still so young y/n. Marriage is a huge deal, it can wait--” You gave him a knowing smirk and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek.

“I love him daddy and I know he loves me. I don’t think I can wait much longer to finally be his wife. Don’t worry, this doesn’t change anything. I’m only fifteen minutes away. I’m sure Mark would be fine letting me come and stay with you and mom every so often. I’ll always be daddy’s little girl and you will always be my favorite man.”

“You got that right. Are you ready darlin’?” You beamed up at him and nodded in agreement.

“More than I will ever be.”

“Then let’s do this.”

Watching everyone’s gave avert to you made your heart rate pick up and you didn’t even think that was physically possible. It was already beating a mile a second; but seeing everyone beaming at you while some of your relatives wiped away some tears made it all the more real--you were getting married.

Once your eyes landed on Mark; your breath hitched. He was the handsomest man you have ever laid your eyes on. You’ve known that for years now. You’ve seen him in suit and tie at least seven times, but something about how he looked right now--maybe it was because this was your wedding or because he got a haircut and his hair was pushed back with gel, showcasing even more of his handsome features made your stomach fill up with butterflies.

His eyes began to tear up and you giggled softly as he let the tears fall freely while he watched you walk closer and closer to the altar. The boys were making fun of him; mocking him silently, but you saw tears building up in both Jackson’s and Yugyeom’s eyes. You snickered softly to yourself before returning your attention back to your fiancé. As soon as you made eye contact with him and saw how much love and adoration he held in his eyes, you began to tear up yourself. Before you knew it, you were standing in front of Mark and the pastor. Your dad’s grip on your wrist only tightened and you couldn’t stop the laugh that fell when the older man told him it was time to let you go.

“Take good care of my y/n Mark. I might really like you, but I won’t hesitate to slash your tires if you hurt my baby. Congratulations to the both of you.”

As your dad made his way towards your mom, Mark reached for your hands and intertwined them together with his.

“Hi.” He whispered softly; not taking his eyes off of you at all.

“Hi.”

“You look so beautiful my love. I can’t stop looking at you and I don’t think I will any time soon.” You grazed your thumb against his wrist as a way to calm down your racing heart and to nonverbally hint to him that he needed to stop with his heartfelt words or else you’d end up breaking down in front of everyone. 

“Thank you. You look handsome as always.” 

The two of you were too busy taking each other in to realize that everyone had been waiting for you both--even the pastor. It wasn’t till you heard him cough did you break out of your Mark induced haze.

“Hi there. It seems as though the two of you were off in your own little worlds for a second there but that’s totally fine. I don’t know either of you that well, but I can already tell by this interaction alone that you must have a love for the ages. Now, dearly beloved, we are gathered here to celebrate the union of Mark Yi-En Tuan and y/n y/m/n y/l/n.” 

Everything the pastor was saying seemingly went through one ear and out the other. You and Mark could not stop making silly faces at each other and even if the older man noticed the two of you fooling around, he didn’t say anything. 

“Now, for the vows, who would like to go first?” You looked up at Mark and gave him a knowing smirk.

“I will. Knowing you, you have a speech prepared that I won’t be able to match, so to prevent me from making a big fool out of myself, I volunteer to go first. Mark Tuan, there are not enough words in the English dictionary that can describe what I feel for you. Every moment spent with you--it’s like my entire body is on fire. I don’t know what I did to deserve you--I don’t know what world war I must have fought in my previous life, but I’d do it again and again if it meant having you as my person in every single lifetime. I love you with every breath that I take. I’m happiest when I’m with you. Hell, you’re the main reason for my happiness. There’s a quote--”Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” You and I, our love story is so rare. So special. Sure, there were times where I was afraid we weren’t to make it--but I was so afraid at the thought of losing you. I was going to do anything and everything in my power to make sure you and I stuck together. No matter what life throws at us, you and I are endgame baby. You’re my entire world Mark Tuan. You’ve changed my life in ways that I never thought was possible. You’re my best friend, my soulmate--the only man I have ever loved--sorry dad, you know what I mean.” Everyone, including the pastor laughed at your apology. 

“I’ve loved you for more than half of my life and I plan on loving you for the entirety of it. Even when we’re old and wrinkly, fighting over oatmeal and cream of wheat. I don’t care what happens to us in the future; as long as I have you, I’m set for life. You are all I could ever want and need baby. Thank you for every single thing that you’ve done for me, I will never be able to thank you enough for your many sacrifices and simply just for loving me. But I will spend the rest of my life returning that same love. I love you, I love you, I love you and I’ll never get tired of saying that. Ever.” 

Mark was in tears at the end of your speech--he was practically sobbing at this point and you had to stifle back a laugh for his sake. He was always such an emotional guy, but you loved that about him. You placed kisses on both of his cheeks earning yourself some boos from Jinyoung, Jackson and Yugeyom. He mouthed that he loved you and squeezed both your hands before starting his vows.

“Fifteen years ago, I was at A+, playing dominos with a few of my friends, when I noticed someone sitting in the far back of the cafeteria all by herself. I actually noticed you a few days before approaching you and I’ve never told you this before, but I was afraid that you’d tell me to go away. However, when I finally built the courage to approach you, I was mad at myself for not doing it sooner. You were such a bright, bubbly little girl and I found myself wanting to spend as much time with you as I possibly could. I loved being around you; I loved hearing your contagious laughter and being the reason behind it. Watching the passion you had for drawing; seeing the way your eyes lit up whenever someone complimented your art, it tugged on my heartstrings. Seeing you happy made me happy. I loved you before I even knew what love was. I think the first time I realized that I had more than friendly feelings for you was the day that I tripped and fell on the sidewalk, ultimately scraping my knee and you ran to your teacher, asking for a bandaid and helped me up before patching up my cut. You always did everything for me without a second thought. You moved thousands of miles from California in order to be with me. You’d stay up late no matter how exhausted you were just to talk to me. You missed out on parties, family gatherings and even vacations just to fly up to New York and be with me. I could ask you to do the most insane thing--bungee jump, sky dive, zip line or even to runaway with me and I know you’d do it in a heartbeat. Every time something good happens to me, you’re the first person I want to tell the good news to and if something bad happens, I want to run to you and have you hold me; telling me that everything is going to be okay. You deserve the entire world and so much more y/n and that’s what I plan on giving you. I’d go through hell and back--I’d run to the ends of the earth just to make you smile. I would do anything you’d ask me to, be whoever it is you want me to be, go wherever you want to do. My heart is yours. It’s always been and it always will be. My heartbeat increases whenever we’re together--but when we’re apart, it’s like i’m living but not existing. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I know I say this a lot, but I really don’t know what I would do without you. I need you y/n. You’re the reason why I wake up with such a huge grin on my face. You’re the reason for my entire existence. You’re my person and I am yours. Forever yours. I love you y/n, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

You looked around and saw that there was not a dry eye at all in the crowd. Every single person, including those that you’ve never seen show any emotion was teary-eyed. You playfully smacked Mark before wiping away at your tears.

“You asshole. See what I meant. You always had such a way with words, I don’t know why I said anything at all.” He giggled profusely and so did everyone else at your comment.

“Do you Mark take y/n--”

“Yes.”

The pastor giggled at his eagerness, but didn’t correct him before attempting to ask you the same question.

“Okay. Do you y/n take Mark--”

“Yes.”

“Wow, this is the first time in my thirty years of being a pastor that I wasn’t able to finish my speech. The two of you are adorable. I wish you nothing in the best with your marriage and any future endeavors. Well, with the power vested in me, I pronounce you man and wife, you may now kiss the bride.”

Mark wasted no time bringing your face between his hands and smashing his lips against yours. They were salty and wet from the tears, yet the kiss was wonderful nonetheless. He continued to kiss you; ultimately bringing your bottom lip in between his teeth and sucking on it all but gently. As much as you wanted nothing more than to continue kissing your husband, you had to remember that you weren’t alone.

“Mr. and Mrs.Tuan would like to invite you all to the grand ballroom for dinner.” Mark tugged on your hand and led you down the aisle, this time--a newly married woman.

“Mrs.Tuan, I like the sound of that.” You smirked.

“I do too. It has a nice tone to it.” 

 The dinner went off without a hitch. Both BamBam and Jackson gave their best man and man of honor speeches; both making you cry as much as you did laugh. Everyone seemingly had a wonderful time; congratulating you and your husband all the while dancing to the upbeat music that the DJ played ad eating the amazing food the hotel had to offer. 

Mark didn’t even hide the fact that he was turned on with how you looked. He kept commenting on how beautiful you looked, and how he couldn’t wait to take you upstairs and rip your dress off of you. When it was time for the first dance as a married couple, Mark pressed you tightly up against his body and wrapped his arms around you protectively while kissing your cheek and your forehead repeatedly.

“This feels like such a dream. You’re my wife--I will never get over calling you my wife. Nor will I ever get over how ethereal you look right now. God, tonight is genuinely the best night of my entire life. Nothing could ever prepare me for this moment. I hope you had just as a mind blowing day as I did. All I care about is how it was for you.” You stole a kiss from his lips before placing your head against his chest.

“It was perfect. Everything that involves you always turns out perfect. Thank you baby. I will never forget this day or how beautiful and loved you’ve made me feel. Now, as much as I love this dress and how I really want to make the most of tonight, I think it’s time you take it off of me. You’re not the only one who was suffering tonight babe. You look so damn sexy--”

“Yup, we’re going upstairs. I don’t even care if anyone picks up on what we’re going to do. I need you right now. Come on baby, it’s our first time making love as a married couple, we have no time to waste. Fuck, I can’t wait to have my way with you. I need you to know what your vows did to my heart--and my cock,”

Both BamBam and your husband were right; it came as no shock to you less than three weeks after your honeymoon when you found yourself hovering over the toilet, throwing up anything you consumed the night before. You assumed that it might have been food poisoning; Mark had a tendency to leave perishable food out for a while without telling you, so you just assumed that maybe the pasta he bought for you could have been spoiled. However, the nausea and sickness went on for the rest of that week and it only ever happened in the morning.

The two of you relished in your marriage every single day on your honeymoon. The day after your wedding, you headed over to the airport to prepare for your flight to Europe. You and Mark had a hard time deciding on where to spend your honeymoon. He wanted to go to Hawaii, and you wanted to go to Greece. You don’t remember how you both agreed on Italy, but you ended up really liking it.

In the morning, you would explore Italy and all of the beautiful architecture and delicious food the city had to offer. Once you arrived back in to your hotel room, neither of you could keep your hands off of each other. It’s as if getting married only caused the lust you had for each other to grow deeper. You went at it like rabbits--going rounds and rounds and only tapping out when you were both exhausted beyond belief.

You never kept track of your periods before; since you were on birth control, your period was very irregular. It came two to three times a month and then there were months that you didn’t even get your monthly gift. But you realized that it’s been quite some time since Mark went to the store and purchased you pads and a quart of ice cream.

It didn’t take you long to realize that there was a big possibility that you were pregnant. You didn’t want to tell your husband of your suspicions just yet; you didn’t want to get him too excited. Mark has been asking you to try for a baby the entirety of your honeymoon. You were just as excited to start having children as he adamantly was, but you wanted to graduate from college first before taking that huge step in your marriage. Plus, you wanted to enjoy married life even just for a couple of months before getting pregnant.

Pregnancy was a beautiful experience; this you knew was true from what you’ve heard from your mom, Tammy and Mark’s mom, but it was also very tiring, physically and mentally. Your body would change completely in the nine months of your pregnancy and you didn’t want your child to feel the stress you received from college while they were in your belly. You were also afraid of postpartum depression--the last thing you needed was to be afraid of hurting your baby before you could even really get the chance to spend time with them.

When Mark was away at work, you decided to head over to the grocery store and grab a few things; laundry detergent, grilled chicken, shampoo, conditioner, hangers and a couple of pregnancy tests. You ended up purchasing three; wanting to make sure your suspicions were true. A part of you was completely over the moon; sure, you weren’t quite ready to have a baby just yet, but if you were pregnant, you weren’t going to be too upset. In fact, the more Mark brought up starting a family, you found yourself wanting to give in to him.

Once you got home, you placed the groceries on the counter and made your way in to the guest bathroom; not wanting to wait another moment before finding out the news that could soon change your and your husband’s life forever. You peed on all three tests and placed them all on the counter. Waiting three minutes to hear the beep felt like hours. You began pacing back and forth across of the bathroom, wanting nothing more than to hurry up and get the results before you grew impatient. Finally, after a few moments, all three tests sounded off and as soon as you flipped all three over, you covered your mouth out of habit.

All three tests were positive. You were pregnant.

The smile that quickly rose on your face felt so natural. You were going to be a mother and Mark was going to be a father. It was hard to wrap your mind around; there was a fetus growing inside of you. You were going to be responsible for someone else other than your husband and yourself. As much as you were craving to tell Mark of the news, you decided to wait until he got home so you could celebrate together. However, you weren’t sure as to how you should go about with confessing the fact that in less than ten months, a baby that you made out of the intense and passionate love you had for each other would come out in to the world; in to your lives.

Being a very simple person, you placed all three tests on the counter in your bathroom and waited for his reaction to seeing them. Mark came home from work three hours later; you didn’t know what felt longer. Waiting for him to come home, or waiting for the tests to beep. 

“Hey baby. How was your day?” You didn’t want to give anything away, so you just shrugged before placing a soft kiss on his lips.

“It was okay. Better now that you’re here. How was yours?”

“Rough. I don’t really want to talk about it. I’m going to go change and then we can watch a movie or something. Why don’t we order take out? I’m sure you must be tired, so I don’t want you having to worry about anything else.” You nodded at his suggestion and he left a kiss on your forehead before making his way upstairs. You sat down on the couch, patiently waiting for him to finally head in to the bathroom and find the tests. 

After almost ten minutes of sitting in agony, you heard him yell your name and before you could head upstairs, he came running down the steps; almost tripping on the rug. 

“Y/n--baby--is this--are you--” You beamed up at him and nodded vehemently.

“Yes. You and I are going to be parents Mark.” He picked you up and spun you around; it was obvious that he was elated with the news. His excited reaction took a huge weight off of your shoulders, not that you were worried at all. You knew he’d be so joyful hearing that you were pregnant. He began kissing you all over your face; your cheeks, both your eyes, your nose, your chin and finally, your lips.

“Oh my God, I can’t believe it. I’m so excited, me and my favorite person--my person--we’re having a baby. I’m so happy y/n! Shit, nine months though, that seems so far away. I want to meet them now. There’s so much we have to do. We have to start setting up the nursery, we have to call and tell our parents--wait, should we start saving for their college tuition--”

“Mark, we haven’t even started paying our own off. Slow your roll there baby. I know you’re excited, trust me, I was freaking out even when I came to the realization that I might be pregnant. Every time I’d see you with your nieces, I’d always picture how you’d be like with our own kids. You’re already such a wonderful uncle, what more as a father? I’m going to start having to see my gynecologist now and I’m going to warn you, I heard pregnant women can get pretty cranky, but I’ll try my best not to take all my anger and frustration on you.”

He placed one of his hands on the back of your head while running his other one over your stomach. “Ah, there’s a baby in this beautiful tummy of yours. That’s so crazy. I’m sorry babe, I know you’re going to suffer a lot, but don’t you dare for one second think that I’m not going to be here for you. I’m going to do everything you need me to do. You’re hungry for taco bell at 2 in the morning? I’m on it. You have cramps? I’ll make you a heating pad. You have a paper to write but you’re too tired to do it? I got your back. I will attend each and every single appointment that you have. If you think I’m already clingy right now, just wait and see what I’m like now that you’re pregnant. You’ll probably get tired of me, but I don’t care. I’m going to remind you at least ten times a day just how breathtakingly beautiful you are every single day and how thankful I am that you’re carrying our baby in your tummy. I know the process is going to be extremely exhausting and I want you to know that I wish I could carry the burden for you, I hate seeing you in pain. But you’ll never be alone in this you hear me? God, I’m so, so excited. I love you so much y/n. I don’t think I could ever tell you in words just how much. Words will never be enough. I can’t wait to start this journey with you. This is only the beginning for us baby.”

5 Years Later

“We’re home! Zachary? Mark? Babe where are you?”

You waddled in to your house with your eldest daughter Mia skipping blissfully right in front of you. The two of you had just returned from her parent teacher conference and to your surprise; it actually went really well—not that you expected otherwise.

The first thing she wanted to do as soon as her teacher told her that she was one of the top 3 students in her class, was to tell her daddy of the good news. From the time she was born, she and your husband were magnets; two peas in a pod.

It was obvious with the way Mark spoiled her even before you gave birth to her that she was going to be a daddy’s girl. You knew that she loved you—but it wasn’t as much as she loved Mark. She always chose her daddy in almost every situation; whether it was choosing between what you and Mark wanted to eat for dinner, who was the one to take her to the store, who picked her outfits for school and if you couldn’t agree on a movie, she would go with Mark’s choice.

When you received the notice that parent teacher conferences were coming up, you and Mark playfully argued over who was going to go with Mia. As much as you felt like the two of you should have gone together, one of you had to stay home to take care of your two-year-old son Zachary.

To your delight; Zachary was the definition of a mommy’s boy. In fact, he wasn’t too big a fan of Mark just yet. It did bother your husband seeing as how he wanted Zachary to be his little mini me—all he really desired as a father was to get him involved in sports and to have the young boy play some video games with him once he was able to hold the xbox controller with both hands—but the adorable little toddler refused any kind of affection from his dad nor did he let Mark do anything for him.

You joked around that it was because he saw the way Mark always had to have his hands on you and he took it as his dad trying to harm you or cause trouble towards you. Zachary was extremely protective and territorial whenever it came to you—it was a trait he took from your husband other than being a carbon copy of Mark. Knowing that Mark and Mia got along better, you used that as your excuse to force him to go, but then he counteracted with wanting to bond with your son and attempt to get the little boy to like him.

“Daddy, Zach—where are you guys?”

You placed your bag and keys on the counter and right as you were going to try and call out both their names one more time, Zachary came running naked in to the living room with a bunch of bubbles in his hair from which you assumed was shampoo and the sight made you giggle softly to yourself.

“Hi momma.” You looked down at him with a look of curiosity on your face but you were trying your best to stifle back a laugh.

“Hello my love. Why are you naked? and where’s your daddy—“

“Zach! Get back here bud, you’re not done with your bath—oh—hi—when did you guys get home?”

Mark’s clothes were soaking wet and he didn’t look too happy. He didn’t have to say anything; you knew he must have been helping Zach in the bathtub but the little boy was probably giving him a hard time.

“Mommy, please help me. Daddy doesn’t know what he’s doing—he didn’t put bubbles in the bathtub and he didn’t bring in my sea animals like you always do. He’s so boring mommy.”

You tried your best to lean down to his level; there was an obstruction making it hard for you to move around as much these days, but it wasn’t anything you weren’t used to. You placed a soft kiss on his cute little cheek before cupping his face in between your hands.

“Why don’t you go back in to the bathtub and mommy will be right up okay? I just have to talk to daddy and then I’ll go grab everything you need. How does that sound?” He gave you the most adorable toothless grin before carefully making his way back in to the bathroom. Mark walked over to where you were standing with his head down and shoulders slumped in embarrassment.

“How are you so good at this? That boy worships you and never stops talking about you. I mean—I know I do the exact same so I don’t blame him—but it’s like he hates me. I suck at being a father.”

He pulled you in to his embrace and placed a few kisses on your lips while hiding his face in the crook of your neck. You brought one hand in to his hair; running your fingers through his soft locks ever so gently and bringing your other hand up to his neck in attempts to comfort him. Mark was an extremely sensitive guy; which just so happened to be one of his characteristics that you loved the most about him.

Seeing him cry or show any kind of emotional reaction just proved that he cared and that he had a heart of gold. However, you never thought you would see him so shook up over the thought of his son not liking him.

As a parent, it had to be disheartening to think that one of your children couldn’t care less about you, but you didn’t want it bothering him completely. He’s told you on multiple occasions that he felt as if he was a terrible father and that he didn’t know what else to do to get the little boy to like him—he felt defeated. You made it a habit to remind him on a daily basis that he had to be the best father in the entire world and that both your kids were very lucky to be blessed with him as their dad.

“Hey, you’re doing the best that you can—that’s all that matters. Don’t say things like that—you know that’s not true. You’re the most amazing father and an even more amazing husband—you’re nothing short of perfect Mark. He’ll come around sooner or later baby. We have another one coming out here pretty soon—so maybe things will change once the third baby arrives. I know you’re extremely happy that it’s a girl this time.” He nodded rapidly against your neck before lowering his hands down to your butt and playfully squeezing both cheeks.

“Hmmm, I can’t wait till our second little princess arrives. I miss holding you without this basketball of a baby bump in the way. I also think it’s my turn to be inside of you again, it’s been so long—ouch! What? I’m being serious y/n, I miss making love to you so badly I don’t understand why we can’t—we did many times with your last two pregnancies. Your gynecologist did say that sex is good for the baby—you know what? I think you better go help Zachary before I go against your wishes and take you up against this counter as payback for all these bruises you’ve given me.”

His words sent electricity through your veins. It was true—you told Mark that you didn’t want to be intimate when you reached the end of your second trimester only because you didn’t want to put your baby at risk. This might have been your third pregnancy and you felt confident in the way you handled yourself—but your doctor informed the two of you that your baby was growing in a different way; he told you to be extra careful with how you took care of yourself this time around or else you could be having a c-section when it was time for you to give birth.

Your husband did not take the news lightly; he tried his best to get you to reconsider but then again—he didn’t want to put you nor the baby in a dangerous situation. It wasn’t only the sex that he missed—although, he loved feeling your walls wrap tightly around him and hearing you chant his name like a mantra never failed to drive him to the brink of insanity. He felt as though he did a great job professing his love for you while burying himself balls deep inside of your pussy.

It was also the best stress reliever to come home to after a long day at work—but he was just going to have to be content with fleeting kisses and cuddling until you were completely healed from your pregnancy. He just missed being able to do the things you used to do together that you were no longer able to do since you weren’t physically able to do so.

He missed sitting in between your lap while he played video games, he missed going hiking and swimming with you, he missed getting to do all these fun activities together with you. He just missed you. If you were being honest, it wasn’t only your husband who was suffering though; you craved him—feeling his body pressed up against yours, having him hide his face against your neck while reaching his high—you missed being one with him to the point where you tried to talk yourself in to letting him have his way with you.

You were currently seven and a half months pregnant with your third child and you honestly couldn’t be more happier. Settling down with the man of your dreams—the love of your life—your person, and starting a family one day was all you could ever want for yourself from the time that you were a little girl. Not too long after you first had Mia, Mark practically begged you to start having more kids as soon as possible.

You’d be lying if you said parenthood was easy—it was exhausting and sometimes you felt as though you weren’t cut out to be a mother. There were many sleepless nights for both you and your husband—days where she would cry and neither of you knew the reason. Breastfeeding her wasn’t all that easy either—especially when her teeth began to come in and you both were so scared of hurting her while burping her after she drank milk.

However, you and your husband got the hang of things after a couple of months of the same routine and a lot of advice from both your families. When Zachary was born over two years ago, raising him was a breeze. He also was an easier baby to take care of; he didn’t cry as much as Mia did. All he ever really did was eat, sleep and poop. Now that Mia knew that she was having a younger sister—she was very vocal about helping you and Mark take care of her after you were to take her home from the hospital.

Sometimes you felt as if everything was too good to be true. Not only did you have the most wonderful husband who you were so lucky to have in your life for over twenty years now, but you had the most adorable, caring, creative and crazy little kids who were both very smart for their ages. There were nights where you would look at Mark in adoration while he slept and constantly thanked the higher power that brought the two of you together.

Your life in more or less words was perfect—you couldn’t ask for anything better. You were afraid that one day, you would wake up and see that this was all just a dream—a figment of your imagination. Some dream life that you made up because your reality wasn’t what you wanted it to be—but the more you looked at both your children and at Mark—spending time with them no matter what it was that the four of you were doing, it only made things all the more real. This was your life and you weren’t going to take it for granted.

“Keep your hands to yourself horndog oh—and I’d watch it if I were you. Mia is a very intelligent little girl. I’m sure she’s old enough to understand how babies are made. I can’t even count on my fingers how many times the kids have almost walked in on us having sex. I promise, once Sophia is born, I’m all yours and I will make up for having you wait so long. By the way, our munchkin has something she wants to show you.”

There were times where you and Mark could get lost in your own little worlds and completely forget about your surroundings. It was extremely irresponsible of the two of you and you were both trying to work on it—but that just showed how obsessed you were with each other. Sometimes you would be in the middle of making out in the kitchen and you’d feel a tug against your skirt—breaking you both out of your steamy moment.

“Don’t get me wrong, I love our children with every fiber of my being, but they are the biggest cockblockers—“

“Hey, they’re the product of our love and your failure to keep it in your pants. I don’t blame you though—I’m a sight for sore eyes if I do say so myself.” He playfully rolled his eyes at your sarcasm and stole a quick kiss from the corner of your mouth while walking towards Mia.

“That’s the understatement of the year. You’re so fucking sexy—especially while you’re pregnant. You’re completely lethal. Come on y/n, what about a blow job at least—you’re killing me here. You know, I don’t say this as much as I should, but I just want to say thank you. Actually, I could never thank you enough for blessing me with the most wonderful family and the most beautiful kids. I know I say this a lot—I’ve said it many times in the last two decades but I mean it and I will always mean it for the rest of our lives. You and I were made for each other. We’re way passed soulmates baby—the term soulmates isn’t even enough to describe what you and I are.”

The tears were slowly building up in your eyes and you weren’t exactly sure how he was going to go about with his speech, but if you were already such a mess after only a few sentences, what more when he finished telling you everything he wanted to say? It reminded of you of your bachelorette party when his sister told you the same exact thing and you could feel his words having the same effect on your heart as Tammy’s did at the time.

“I know—we’ve hit a couple of bumps in the road in the duration of our relationship and we went through situations where life wasn’t all that good to us. There were so many things that changed in my life—going away for college—giving up my career in sports to focus on our relationship—having to switch jobs because my first one wasn’t giving me the benefits and pay that they claimed they would; that they said I deserved—I went through so many changes but you were the only thing that stayed constant. People say that home is a house—a roof above your head with windows, doors, bedrooms, bathrooms and a kitchen. I didn’t realize it until I was older and left for college—but a home is so much more than that. A home can be a pair of the most beautiful eyes—arms that make me feel so safe and so loved—a body—such a breathtakingly beautiful and extremely fucking sexy body—kisses that are so addictive—like my own personal drug. I genuinely believe that home is where the heart is—my home is wherever you are. Wait no—you are my home y/n. You’re the only thing that I want to stay the same in my life. It was always you—and it’s always going to be you baby. I meant it on the night I proposed to you—I meant it in my vows and I mean it right now. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me—well, other than our babies, but you—God I was never able to give you a genuine explanation to how much I love you and I don’t think I will ever be able to form the right words that would describe even half of what I feel for you. But I love you—with every breath I take—every beat of my heart—every kiss that we share—every time we relish in our love together—you’ve had my heart from the day you allowed me to take a look at your art. Something so near and dear to you—something you never allowed anyone, not even your family to see. But you let me without hesitation. I can’t wait to see what the future holds for our growing family—which I want ten kids at the least so we better keep popping them out one after the other. Spending the rest of my life with you is all I could ever wish to do.”

You began to playfully punch his chest while the tears streamed down your cheeks and the sobs fell from the back of your throat. When the two of you were younger, Mark wasn’t as much of a man with words as he was with actions. Sure, he never went a day without telling you that he loved you. Even on the days that you two would get in to an argument, he never let you go to sleep without telling you those three magical words. But he preferred to show you that he loved you rather than to say it.

Anyone could tell you that they loved you—but only people who genuinely love you would go through great lengths to show it. However—these days, it seems as though he’s been making you cry on purpose by confessing to you all these heartfelt messages. It didn’t take a lot for you to cry—especially because your hormones were all over the place right now—and every time Mark would explain in detail what you meant to him and how he would be nothing without you—it always elicited tears and ugly crying noises. He always laughed though; he loved seeing the affect his words had on you.

“Shithead. You know what speeches like that do to me. God—I—I love you. That’s all I’m going to say. There’s no point in trying to top your confession. I don’t think it’s even possible. You outshined me on our wedding day and I didn’t even want to read my vows after how beautiful and fervent yours were. But I love you Mark Tuan—I love you—I love you—I love you. You’re my best friend and the owner of my heart. I would go through hell and back for you. You mean the entire world and more to me. Thank you for loving me baby. Thank you for being you. I don’t know what World War I must have fought in my past life—but I would do it again and again if it meant being the lucky person who loves you and is loved by you in each and every single lifetime. Being your wife and the mother of your children is the best job in the world. Damnit you ass, I didn’t want to cry at all today. You know what—I need to have you in any way I possibly can—if you’re a good boy, I’ll suck you dry after we tuck the kids in. Mia baby—show daddy what you got from school so I can go help Zach. I can’t wait to see your reaction.”

He beamed at your offer and let out a muffled moan—but his expression was quick to change once you brought up seeing his reaction. He looked at you in curiosity but you just kept quiet while leaning closer in to his chest. Mia went to grab her backpack and took a seat on the hardwood floor. She had a soft smile on her face; obviously delighted with whatever she was going to show Mark. Once she pulled out the item you were referring to however, she looked at her dad worriedly—in fear of a negative reaction.

“A teddy bear—and some—flowers? Who gave you that? I didn’t know teachers gave away gifts like those—“

“It wasn’t her teacher.” The smirk on your face didn’t make your husband feel all too good. In fact, it gave him an idea of who it could have been from and he immediately clenched his jaw before shaking his head in aggravation.

“Nope. No way. No. Mia baby, you’re going to go back to school tomorrow and give this back to whoever was brave enough to give it to you in the first place.”

Seeing your daughter frown because of Mark’s response tugged on your heartstrings and you were quick to pinch at his bicep in annoyance; earning yourself a piercing glare. “Mark—“

“Let me guess—someone has a crush on our princess. It doesn’t surprise me, I always knew she was going to break some hearts one day, but not this soon. She’s only five y/n—“

“Hey! I was five when I met you. I was also five when I started having feelings for you. I think it’s adorable babe. I’ve seen them interact—Ethan genuinely seems to care about her. It reminds me so much of you and I. Come on Mark—don’t be such a hard ass. I’m sure my dad reacted the same exact way when he found out about you, but that didn’t stop us did it?”

He whined before looking back and forth between you and Mia. You were right—in most situations you were always right and he accepted it. But as of right now, he wanted nothing more than for you to be wrong. You and your daughter looked at each other menacingly—both of you began to pout at him—something you knew would get him to give in. Being Mark’s weaknesses had to be one of the only traits you had in common with Mia. You used it against your husband on multiple occasions and it always worked because he was never able to tell either of you no.

“Mark—she likes him too. Remember how people used to tell the two of us that we had no idea what love was? That we were too young to start dating? Now look at us—we weren’t even old enough to cross the street without an adult let alone start a relationship, but we have a love for the ages. If my parents or even your parents were to tell us back then that we weren’t able to be together—do you really think we would be living out our lives the way we are now?” He shook his head in disagreement before releasing a frustrated sigh.

“No. But y/n, she’s my baby girl. It’s different. I know how young boys are—I was one. I didn’t start having those kind of thoughts of you until we were both in high school—but we weren’t necessarily all that innocent back in middle school. I didn’t even know what sex was but I knew that it wasn’t normal for my penis to get hard whenever we would make out. I don’t want anyone taking advantage of or hurting my baby. I don’t care what happens to me—I’d do anything for you and for our children. Even if that means spending my life behind bars. It actually scares me to think of the lengths I’m willing to go in order to protect you all but I honestly wouldn’t change it for anything in the world.”

No matter how many times you’ve witnessed Mark get all soft for your daughter, it always sent so much warmth to your heart hearing and seeing how much he loved that little girl. As a father, seeing your daughter start taking interest in boys was likely to make your skin crawl. You were sure that even when Mia were to enter her twenties and even her thirties, Mark would have this same reaction. He just didn’t want her growing up so fast so soon. Parents weren’t supposed to have favorites—and it didn’t matter how many kids the two of you ended up having together; Mia was his first baby and she would always have a special place in his heart.

“Fine—whatever. I give up! You win! You always win because I can never say no to you. I want to meet this boy tomorrow. I’ll take Mia to school. I want his name, address, date of birth—“

“Mark—“

“Social security number, blood type—“

“Mark—“

“Both his parent’s names, where they work—“

“Mark Yi-En Tuan, I know I just confessed my love for you—but I am willing to take back my words—“

“You wouldn’t dare. You’re stuck with me forever you beautiful pain in my ass. I get it—you and I started our love story very at a very young age, but that doesn’t mean I approve of our children doing the same. I’ll think about it—if Mia’s happy, I guess I’ll have to learn to accept it. But don’t think I’m going to let this slide—I’m adding this on to you owing me orally which—you promised to blow me off once the kids go to sleep tonight so get that cute little butt of yours in the bathroom and help Zach with his bath so you can finally help me with the problem you caused in my pants.”

This earned your husband a lighthearted eye roll and a not so gentle shove against his rib cage. Right as he was going to retaliate, Mia came running over to the two of you and motioned for Mark to pick her up. He lifted her up without a struggle; like she was as light as a feather and placed a soft kiss on her cheek.

“Daddy, my teacher says I’m one of the top three students in her class!” He beamed at her excitement before spinning her around in elation—your daughter’s laughter filled the kitchen as she gently hit at his chest to put her down.

“Good job baby girl! I’m so proud of you! You’re such a smart kid, you get that from daddy—ow! You get your sassiness and abuse from your mom. Why don’t you and I go get some ice cream as a reward? Don’t worry babe—I won’t forget to get you some. Since you ended up eating almost all of mine the last time, I’ll purchase an entire quart for you this time—Mia let’s get out of here before daddy faces any more of mommy’s wrath and not in the way that I would prefer.” Mark pulled you against his chest and placed a couple of sloppy kisses on your mouth before picking up your daughter and walking towards the door.

“Hey daddy, mommy said to ask you about how the two of you met.”

A smile crept on your face as you heard of her question and began to hastily walk down the hall. Mia was still kind of young to understand the concept of love and relationships—but then again, so were you when you met Mark. Love had no age.

She began to ask you questions in the car about how old you were when you were introduced to her father and you took that opportunity to have Mark explain it for you. You honestly didn’t know how to bring the subject up to her without having her asking why it was wrong for her to like someone at her age. Since Mark was the one who didn’t seem all too fond of the idea—you were going to make it his responsibility to tell her of your love story.

“Oh—um—well, you see—your mom and I—we met back in—well—uh—babe, did you maybe want to help me out with this?” Your laughter echoed throughout the hallway at the nervous intonation in his voice. It was obvious he too had no idea how to go about responding to such a difficult question and the thought made you chuckle.

“That’s all you my love. I need to go help Zachary. Good luck! Drive safely and don’t come back without my ice cream! I love you!”

[hajimine]

LEX’S 2020 APPRECIATION POST PT. II !

— to the lovely moots & followers who i talk to quite often (or pretty much everyday), this one’s for you.

thank u for being in my life, you made my 2020 so so much better. i’m so grateful october lex decided to make a tumblr acc 🥲

i’ll try my best to keep it kinda short 🥲👍

in alphabetical order:

@4fterh0urs — my omega phoebe 😩‼️ ily so much bc you’re both extremely stupid n extremely smart at the same time. u mean so much to me and i love talking to u even if u call me such weird as nicknames every damn day 😃 you’re so sexy n hella intimidating smfh idk how i was able to make u my bitch (JK PLS DONT KILL MEE) anyways, thanks for being a real one bae + you’re the person i block the most, so you’re special ig 😹👍 ily you’re actually such a sap but u pretend to be all tough heh <33

@archivednikes — my solar system, my wh*re (lovingly) hi bae 😣 ok yk how much i love u but. im gonna tell u again: ILYSM!! OKAY??? please know that you’re such an amazing human being and you’re SO incredibly talented. god i love u so much please take care of yourself baby, you’re always so kind to other people and i hope you can do the same to yourself. once again, i am so fucking glad you decided to slide into my inbox that day, because now i look forward to talking to you every single morning. insert grabby hands ilysm <33

@boosyboo9206 — onyx hi babes! i’m so so grateful for you omg u dont even know it. you always manage to cheer me up with your antics and you’re always here to support me 🥺 whenever i’m down you somehow aways manage to make me feel a lil better. i love talking to u whether it’s about sth as mundane as the weather or even your obsession with the word peepers. thank you for being you, please take care of yourself and stop sleeping so damn late. ilysm <33

@ch4jime — chloe bae!! 😁 hi omg ilysm you’re so cute and cool and nice urghh thanks for always checking up on me! i love love seeing you in my asks, you’re such a lovely person to be around. i seriously need to be better at dropping in other people’s inbox, so just know that i’ll work on hanging out on your blog more often this year bc ily! i wish u all the best and please never stop being you baby mwah <33

@fairyoomi — hi bae 😣😣 how are u?? i know we don’t talk much anymore, and that’s okie, but i still wanna write u this lil note because i’m so thankful i met you here on tumblr. you’re an amazing writer and u were so sweet to me even when i was a teeny blog who didn’t know anyone. i admire u a lot, yknow? thanks for being such a friendly and welcoming person, ily <33

@gu3to — mochi bestieo 🙀 idk if you’ll even see this smh so i’m just gonna text u after this (if i don’t forget to rip) okay so. hello?! you’re so mf cool and you’re a trendsetter 🤩 yes yes im fueling your god complex it’s bc ily smh. you’re so dumb i wanna choke u sometimes but i won’t bc i’m also just as dumb 😁 pls stop disappearing from the face of the Earth okay ilysm you always keep it real and i know i can always count on u to listen to uh... my shit. okay so when are we gonna make out? 🤨 oki bye <33

@hoekageyama — wifey!! maddie baby urghh yk how much i love you, you’re one of my earliest moots im pretty sure? and aaaaa i’m so so glad i decided to be weird as hell and slide into your asks that day (pancreas. sighs. iconic.) you’re my numero uno whenever i wanna bark about hot 2d boys and what i’d let em do to me coughs err yea hehe. please take care of yourself baby you’re such a sweet and kind and loving person and i’m so glad to have you in my life. smh we text each other lovey dovey texts anyway but i still wanna do this for u 😋 ilysm!!! <33

@honeyskawa — lani baby hi! i know you haven’t been super active lately, but i just wanna tell u that i appreciate u so so much!! you honestly made my goddamn week when u sent me that ask about how i inspired you bc what the heck?? never in my life have i expected to have such an impact on someone. you’re a wonderful writer honestly. i love u so much and i hope everything’s going well baby, i’m excited talk to u more whenever you decide to be active on tumblr again <33

@jougogo — kaybae hi!!! you haven’t been on tumblr much lately but hi sexc it’s me lex lol i’ve moved accs hehe 😎 i hope u see this whenever u get your phone back cries. you’re such an amazing person to be around, always so cheerful and friendly, you exude so much positive vibes and ilysm. you always manage to lift up the mood with your sexc self and i admire u for that. you’re so incredibly chaotic and fun to be around ahrgehxhh i appreciate u sm and i hope you’re taking care of yourself bby ily <33

@kemochie — my waluigi, my favorite f*rry, hi 😝 urghhh god we just started talking everyday pretty recently but god. you’re so funny??? and i love bullying u bc u give me so much material to bully u with (ok jkjk i love u that’s why i bully u smh) also, you’re so incredibly supportive and u were actually the one who pushed me to finally post that atsumu fic, even tho stupid me accidentally deleted it LMAOBSBD anw, u bring sm joy in my life, so thank u for that. we’re a small lil filf and you’re the milf to my dilf LMAO ilysm mwah!! <33

@kenmaki — gabbae! virgo bestie!! hi hi !! you’re such a talented person and you’re an amazing writer, and i hope one day u can get past your insecurities and see yourself as the wonderful person u truly are. i love how we were able to relate to each from how similar virgos think + our initial conversation of dick measurements and such will forever be seared into my memory. and congrats on getting a daily railing on the dash HSBDH i don’t look at em i promise lol 🤩🤩 jdbdhdh ilysm bby <33

@miyams — ren sweet babie hi! you’re so incredibly talented please don’t listen to stupid hate anons. i’ll stab them with a serrated knife if i have to 😠🔪 you’re so flippin cute and sweet i love talking to you, and i love love love whenever u come by my inbox to say hi. i hope we can talk even more in 2021, my dms and asks are always open for u bby (even though i suck at replying right away, sorry abt that huhu) i love u sm baby please take care of yourself <33

@miyasangel — ardie bae 😜 hi sexc!! i still cant believe we talk like everyday now lmaoo i used to think you’re so freaking cool (i still do) and now i’m friends w u whattaheck 🥲 you’re such an amazing writer wtf. i hate that we had to start our friendship on such a sour note (ehem discord ehem) but i’m really glad it brought us closer together. ily cockarden i’ll be sure to bully u even more HAHAGS IM JK makes out w u so hard bc you’re so damn hot ily 😣‼️ <33

@owlywrites — owly baby hello! ily so so much and you’re so talented, you deserve so much recognition. i hope i can read more of your fics soon bc they’re so well written ugh 😣 thanks for always checking up on me and always being so incredibly sweet. i love u so so muchhh huhu i wanna give u the biggest hug in the world :( please take care of yourself and never stop being your genuine self kith kith <33

@rilacry — milfy gorlillola 😜😜‼️ hi sexc. omfg i was so intimidated by u wtf (and i still kinda am smh) bc you’re so cool?? and your writing n carrd making skills are amazing as hell wtf. u just exude BDE bc you’re hella hot AND bc u wanna peg everyone. anyways,, i’m glad we got closer recently, even if it was out of really wack circumstances. ily bae pls stop sticking your memojis everywhere mwah <33

@rintaroll — my kue tete ☹️☹️ ilysm smh bye i can’t believe we’re close now wtf you’ve always been so cool and sexc 😩‼️ oh god i rmb when u were still on your old acc and u seemed so out of reach and i was a lil intimidated ANDBDJD SHHH but yea now ik you’re just a big h word dork and i love u for that 😣 i wish u all the best for your singing career bby you’re such a talented writer AND singer wtf. also you’re so pretty???? wtf how rude 😠 JKJK HAHHSBD ilysm kithes u so hard <33

@tetsoleil — geegee!! hi baby 😣 thanks for being such a sweet human being ily! it’s been a while since we actually talked yeah? but i still want u to know that i love u a lot and i appreciate u so much. i’m so so grateful you’re in my life because you’re such a joy to be around. you’re an amazing writer bby and i hope you get the recognition u deserve. i’m always here for u if u need anything. ilysm bby <33

@velvetfireworks — rachie bae 🤩 my bakso goreng, my golden kiwi!!! ily!! hehe im so glad i decided to slide in your dms when u asked me if i was indo. but ahhhh you’re ao sweet and cute and supportive ilysm. an amaaazing writer and i admire your work so much, but i think you’ve heard me say that multiple times before. i’m so glad we became closer recently through our love for greasy food and wonky lil faces 👁💋👁 kith kith ilysm <33

@yato-o — yato baby hi!! urgh honestly i appreciate u so so much?? i feel so lucky to be able to get to know you. i don’t even remember how we met but ahhh thank u for always stopping by and have a chat with me even though i know you’re a busy person. please take care of yourself and get some rest whenever u need to! don’t feel pressured to come on here if you’re tired baby, im so grateful to have u in my life, i luv youu <33

HAPPY NEW YEAR YOU SEXY BAES!

kisses, lex

[wetalkinboutbooks]

Reaper of Souls by Rena Barron

Summary: After so many years yearning for the gift of magic, Arrah has the one thing she’s always wanted—at a terrible price. Now the last surviving witchdoctor, she’s been left to pick up the shattered pieces of a family that betrayed her, a kingdom in shambles, and long-buried secrets about who she is. 

Desperate not to repeat her mother’s mistakes, Arrah must return to the tribal lands to search for help from the remnants of her parents’ people. But the Demon King’s shadow looms closer than she thinks. And as Arrah struggles to unravel her connection to him, defeating him begins to seem more and more impossible—if it’s something she can bring herself to do at all.

Set in a richly imagined world inspired by spine-tingling tales of voodoo and folk magic, Kingdom of Souls was lauded as “masterful” by the School Library Journal in a starred review. This explosively epic sequel will have readers racing to the can’t-miss conclusion. (Taken from Goodreads)

Our Ratings:  

 → Geena:  ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️🌗

 → Kae: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Overall: A messy sequel to an amazing series, we get to see the after effects of the fall out of Arrah vs. Efiya from KOS… and when we tell you it is MESS!!!

~Spoiler-Full Review Below~

The Good: 

→ Arrah and Dimma

Geena: One of my favourite things about Reaper was the sprinkle of Dimma’s POVs throughout the story. We got an insight into Dimma’s life before she was Arrah, and how her relationship with the other Orisha and Daho developed. It also really helped build up the suspense near the end and set up plot twists that clocked us near the end. Dimma aside, let’s talk about Arrah. Rena Barron said brooding boys are out, brooding girls are IN! And you know what, we love to read it. The story starts off with Arrah trying to save Sukkar after she snapped all his bones while trying to save him, and she does save him :) Or so she thinks but that’s besides the point. Over the length of the book we follow Arrah’s inner turmoil of suddenly having the power of 10 tribal chieftains and being insecure about whether or not she even deserves it.

I loved Arrah, even when she was holding herself up to a terribly high bar and beating herself up about everything she did. Arrah helped bring her Auntie back from the dead and was like “Damn I suck :/” and thought shattering a girl’s glass (who was flirting with Rudjek) put her on the same level as her mom and Efiya. I was sitting there like NO GIRL YOU’RE PERFECT, YOU, YOUR MISSING TOOTH AND YOUR PETTY NATURE!! 

Kae: YAAAAAAAAAS! Geena summed Arrah and Dimma up perfectly. 

But I would like to add how much I love Arrah and how selfless she is. She’s always thinking about her friends and their safety, the safety of the tribal people, and of course the kingdom. She’s a worry woman, but for all the right reasons. And she also cares about herself; so much even that like Geena said, she beats herself up for the smallest of things. She’s so worried about being evil like her mother and her sister, that she calculates every single move that she makes, debating if it’s really worth it to use strong magic or not. 

As for Dimma, I loved her POV’S. She is a complex character who has been demonized since book 1. We were taught to believe, through the POV of some of the Gods, that Dimma was a horrible Goddess who wrought nothing but chaos. They erased her name from history, LITERALLY. And Dimma became known as the Unnamed Orisha. While reading her POV, we learn that Dimma was quite selfless, much like Arrah (since they are technically the same person). Dimma was full of love and loved even harder. She went out of her way to give Daho immortality as well as his people, because she loved them so much. She defied the rules of the universe for her love, and it only came to bite her in the ass in the end. Like her siblings told her, “A God’s love is a dangerous thing.” And it was, but not exactly for the reasons one might think.

Geena:  Kae’s summary of Dimma and Arrah is AMAZING, you know my ability to connect dots when reading is kinda shit so reading Kae’s summary gave me realization…  Arrah tries so hard to separate herself from Dimma, because she refuses to believe that a part of her is in love with Daho because she herself is in love with Rudjek… but it’s like girl… you have travelled to the ends of the earth to fight and bring back the people you love (the tribespeople) just like Dimma searched the ends of the universe for immortality to give to Daho. It’d be much easier to reconcile your feelings if you just accepted that “Okay, I may have been Dimma but now I am Arrah”

Also another thing I love about Arrah is how she had…. For a time… three dudes in love with her… or at least what she thought was three dudes. Real hot girl shit. 

→ Rudjek and Daho

Geena: You know the character archetype that’s like a snarky boy who knows he’s hot shit and acts accordingly, but when it comes to the person he’s in love with he’s just a bowl of mush. That’s Rudjek, and only Rudjek can pull it off. In KOS, he was slated to be the next vizier because of his father, in Reaper he’s known as a prince because his dad snaked his way into becoming the monarch. So, now he’s the snarky prince…. And the only snarky prince with rights! His POVs were actually so fun to read, like following the politics of the Kingdom and him dealing with his new craven powers…. Which also had him being able to smell pheromones when people were doing the dirty around him 😭

I really liked that Rena gave him a POV, because now we get to see how he develops given the fact that him and Arrah are dangerous to one another, because he saps her magic with a single touch and could kill her. The whole time Arrah is stressing like “Damn, what if he doesn’t like me anymore because we can’t touch” meanwhile Rudjek is like “I’ll fight the Gods if I have to, to keep her by my side” and it’s like 🥺Also, who let a teenager be in control of a whole army… I thought the vizier was a sly and smart man but I digress… Another thing I liked about Rudjek in this book was that he didn’t shy away from uncomfortable conversations with Arrah, regarding the fact that he confused Efiya for Arrah when they did the unspeakable in the clearing in KOS. Like, that was very mature of them and I’m glad they could deal with that misunderstanding… But… hands down… my favourite scene… During the climax of the book Rudjek gets a demon soul shoved down his body, and immediately assumes it’s the demon king…. And his only command to his friends is to not let him near Arrah😭😭😭 I was like PEAK ROMANCE, SOFTEST SHIT, SACRIFICIAL LOVER!!!!! 

Kae: SO GEENA SUMMED UP RUDJEK SO DAMN WELL. LIKE DUDE OMG? Correct. He is perfect. I really don’t have much to add but I just genuinely loved him as a character. He is caring for both Arrah and his friends. He is also one of the few male characters I’ve read that actively tries to go against their father. Most dudes in books are like “Fine puhpa, I shall do your evil bidding.” But Rudjek is like “Sike bitch, I’ll let you think that but I’m doing what I WAAAANT!” 

But okay, let’s talk about Daho. So first off, I love him??? Am I a villain sympathizer now? Tbh, I don’t really see him as a villain. Man’s didn’t commit a genocide or try to scheme Arrah out of her pants. AND HE VERY MUCH HAD THE CHANCE TO and he was like “nah.” And I appreciate that. Because there are a few certain villainous men who I shan’t name, that be on that scant shit. And Daho is just like… genuinely trying to avenge his wife’s death (Dimma) and try to get Arrah to remember that she is Dimma. 

YES, I know he got Arti to bring him back. BUUUUUT, he didn’t tell her to kill a bunch of kids and shit to do it. Arti did all that evil shit on her own and Daho was like “look, i don’t condone that shit. But it’s over and I’m sorry it happened but I can’t change it.” And I’m like… okay, mood. I get it. Daho is sweet and caring. He looked out for Arrah in *redacted’s* body because we didn’t know *redacted* was dead the whole time. And even then, Daho was still like “My bad… But he wasn’t using his body??? So I took it???” Why let it go to waste, amiright? 

Geena: STOOOOP FOR REAL HE WAS LIKE “It was empty, I didn’t think you’d mind” 

Kae: LMAOOO OKAY BUT DEADASS. And like, idk man. He just seriously isn’t a bad person. He was trapped because after the God’s killed Dimma, he was like “BET IMMA JUST KILL THEM” and they lowkey were shook so they trapped his ass in a box for a millenia or whatever. He wasn’t even out to kill all humanity or anything. The God’s were just being some haters and now he’s suddenly the bad guy. Anyway, we stan Daho in this house. 

Geena: Daho is how you write a sympathetic villain. He owns up to his own mistakes even while his demons run free terrorizing people. Kae said it best that he just wants justice for his wife and unfortunately history is written by the victors so the Orisha painted him out to be a bad guy… My dude was just chugging that respecting my wife juice and they killed her… and he also thinks they killed his son… Guess me and Kae are just villain sympathizers now 

The Bad:   

→ The Ending 

Kae: Okay, let’s get it. And I also just want to clarify that when we say “the bad”, we don’t mean we hate it. This is just something that was like “oh fuck, this is BAAAAD! THINGS ARE ABOUT TO GO DOOOWN.” 

But like, good Lord. The ending? That shit was crazy. First of all, we find out that *redacted* aka, SUKKAR. OUR SWEET, PLAYFUL, SARCASTIC SUKKAR. IS DEAD. HE HAS BEEN DEAD THIS WHOLE TIME!? Excuse me while I *SCREEEEEEEEEEEAM*. Like, what an unforeseen twist. This mf kicked the bucket back in KOS when Arrah tried to save him. Turns out… She maybe… Totally… possibly… Absolutely killed my guy on accident. He dead-dead. And this is how we find out that Daho took over his body, once Sukkar’s spirit ascended. It was a really sad reveal and my heart kind of hurt reading it. I straight up wasn’t expecting that to happen. THEEEEEN. GOTDAMN EFIYA. IS BROUGHT BACK. 

Geena: No joke, the ending of Reaper was just one sucker punch followed by another… At first you think Tyrek (the prince from KOS who joins Arrah and her crew on a journey to save the tribespeople) is the demon king, then you think it’s Rudjek because he’s getting possessed, and then you learn it’s Sukkar… The final punch to the gut was Daho bringing back Efiya because his close general asked for her… because she’s his daughter. We were like, DAHO ARE YOU SERIOUS YOU SAW THE DAMAGE SHE DID TO THE HUMANS!!! Like Efiya may have grown quickly in a few months but her brain isn’t fully developed, like that girl is UNHINGED!!! I thought we were done with the Efiya chapter but here we are, and I’m scared to see what role she’ll play in the final instalment of the series. I guess this is the case of bringing back an old villain that can work out really well…  I trusted Rena with the messy Arrah/Daho/Rudjek love triangle, so I trust her with this too 

The Ugly:  

→ Tyrek 

Geena: Remember how I said Rudjek is the only valid snarky prince… Yea, Tyrek can CHOKE!! In KOS he sides with Efiya and she wreaks havoc in the Kingdom, and in Reaper he’s brought to his knees. Rudjek’s dad wants to execute him for his crimes, but Arrah sympathizes with him because she knows how Efiya’s mind control worked. As you read, you get a sense of “Okay, maybe he isn’t bad, he’s helping Arrah and them” but then you get to the climax and you’re like okay nvm this boy was insane… Imagine travelling to a whole other dimension and making deals with demons, because you’re in a fucked up sort of romance with a half-demon girl. He managed to lie to Arrah that he was being controlled by Efiyah, when he was really with Efiya the whole way…. Even when she told him to murder his whole family… this man was vile!! He’s also one of our first fake outs, when he pretends to be the demon king I was kinda disappointed… I was like no this ruins the messy love triangle I’ve been waiting for! But it was just a fake out, Tyrek was just trying to scare Arrah into freeing Efiya, whose soul was in the demon dagger that Arrah used to kill her in KOS. Overall, 1/10 for this man… the 1 point is for when he figured out “Sukkar” had a crush on Arrah before Arrah even knew.  

Conclusion 

Kae: So, I don't have much to add to Tyrek’s snake ass. He really was ugly in the end. I’m glad he’s dead. 

But to conclude, this was such an amazing, refreshing read. Reaper of Souls was a wonderful sequel to Kingdom of Souls. Rena writes so beautifully and she didn’t hesitate to have us readers shaking in our boots. Getting more background information on Dimma, the Gods, and their old ass war, was really fun and insightful! IT added to the story in a way I hadn’t even thought about until I was consuming it all! 

Arrah and Rudjek are perfect angels and I can’t wait to see where book three leads them. I also want to give a shout out to Essnai and Majka for being such good friends to Arrah and Rudjek. Same to Kira and the Cravens. This is a really close knit group of friends who will go to the ends of the Earth (and literally new dimensions) for each other. THAT’S LOVE, BITCH. And we LOVE to see it. 

Geena: For real! Rena Barron set up such an amazing cast of characters, and she really emphasizes the power of friendship in her series and it’s one of my favourite things to read. With Reaper, from the very start, she sets up the story in such a way you’re literally screaming by the end… I think it requires a special kind of skill to be able to set up a story so well that while you do make predictions about what’s going to happen, it still shocks you when you realize you’re right. Cannot wait to see the absolute mess that will be the final book, with Rudjek/Arrah vs. Daho… and the drama it will bring now that the Orishas realize that Arrah is Dimma’s reincarnation.  

[survivor-ingary]

Rites of Passage

Keith: Wish we had more time to talk to each other, with time difference and going to the first tribal council of the season. That chance never came. Hope someday we play again.

Babs: It's giving Boy Mulan rn. Wish I could've at least said hi to you lmao

Dennis: We never met

Babs: Your vibes are lovely. I wish you could've stuck around longer :( 💔

Dennis: We never met

Keith: I’m you are a nice person but since you were so inactive, it was hard to get a conversation in the game with you. Hopefully you play again when u have the time.

Babs: Hi! We didn't get to talk at all lmao hope we get to next time!

Dennis: Hope everything is okay with you

Keith: I don’t know why we just didn’t click and spoke much. Even at our first tribal together we never got much of a conversation going. Sorry

Babs: 'm sorry, dude, I had 0 recollection that you were here when I missed my first tribal. Welp. What are ya gonna do?

Dennis: We never met

Keith:  it was very sad to see you go especially for the reason you were being targeted for. The timing was unfortunate.  Where three people came over after mutiny that were safe and people were very worried about you aligning with former Kyoshi cast members at merge. You never got the opportunity only to prove otherwise. I had hoped we could have worked longer in the game being OG Pendragon. Hopefully on another season. :)

Babs: Of all the votes I casted, I regret yours the most. I wish I could've kept you in, but it was the majority regardless of my choice. I hope we can talk after and reconnect. I love your vibe.

Dennis: Sorry Moth :( I hate that you were voted out but it’s not because of you, it’s the people that you would’ve worked with.

Babs: We didn't get to connect very much, but "m'theydy" will never not get me.

Dennis: You are a saturnian legend and you were robbed.

Keith:  I wish you stayed longer with us and didn’t leave.  In the time you were with us, I saw a friendly, happy and great person.  Also a massive team player, who would be willing to color their hair for a challenge.

Babs: ROBBED. That's it, that's the whole rite. You deserved so much better, truly.

Dennis: Queen you were sooooo robbed. I wanted to work with you in this game and I am sorry that Anastasia and Brayden lied that hard to you to paint you a false scenario. You deserved so much better and I hope that one day we can see each other in another org :)

Keith: Just like you, your blindside was an iconic moment of this season. As much as I thought it was too soon for you to go but you putting a bigger target on yourself so that you don’t blindside people who you were loyal to, was going to make the situation hard. But There is no question about your loyalty hence I understand why you did what you did. But I wish we would rather choose a side then keep everyone happy and I wouldn’t have mind going with anyone at that point.  I appreciate you for making the time and effort to connect with me at my pace. I hope you understand that It wasn’t a move against you but became a move for self preservation. Hope we can have a tea spilling party after this season.

Babs: Miss Shady Boots, I see you, ma'am. Wish I could've seen more of your mess this season. Hope to see you at Mary's one day :')

Dennis: King. I did you soooooooooooooooo dirty. I hope we can still play roblox after dis game. Once I heard from Ellie that you suspected me of wanting to work with Raffy it became very clear to me you were not going to trust me down the line. You were a threat who had to go, and I’m not sorry I voted you out but I am sorry about the way that I went about it.

Keith: This was a tough vote. I knew we didn’t have much of a game connection. I knew since I wouldn’t have the option to work long-term with you this season. I didn’t want to string you along on anything or give you any false hope unnecessarily because that would just be cruel.  I honestly found you to be an amazing, down to earth and genuine person. Really wished we came together on an earlier tribe. Someone like you with such an amazing energy would be a great ally and friend. Whether, the game would go our way or not. It would still be a blast playing with you.  Also, I know u don’t need it but the offer still stands. U ever feel anxiety and need a diversion. Call me anytime and anywhere, I will help anyway I can.

Babs: CEO of plants. Your vibes are immaculate. Please let's be friends after this.

Dennis: I wish you and I had developed a game relationship. We had a very strong personal relationship like I feel like we’d be friends in real life ya know? But in this game, you were working with people that ultimately did not work with me and I felt like your loyalty would ultimately never come to me. Sorry that it had to be that way youre still cool.

Keith: Never expected to see you go the way you did. You’re an awesome and sweet person. Excited to see you succeed on twitch and ready to support an amazing person like you in anything you decide to do. Drop that link.

Babs: Dennis constantly sings your praises, and any friend of his is a friend of mine. Drop that stream link asap.

Dennis: You forever changed my life when you told me I’m actually not a red head but a brunette. That’s wild. It was awesome to play with you and I’m sorry that you were voted out the way you were. It was very refreshing to play with someone who wasn’t coming from a survivor-strategy background. Stay awesome :)

Keith: I know based of the previous seasons. Your amazing to watch play the game. From your social ability to your executions of big moves, the fact that you never back down or give up, it is amazing. But all those attributes make it hell to play with you. I knew that you wanted to take me to the end because you could beat me. So day one I knew I would cut you sometime, but unlike last time. I needed to make sure that this time when I took a shot, under no circumstances I could miss.  But getting rid of you was a decision that took into account only from events this season, I saw you subtly trying to push the narrative that I was not doing much in the game during tribal, to ensure I would have no chance to win. So I knew taking you out sooner would be better, which would deny you any chances of flipping things over.  I thank you for supporting me through the initial start of the game and that immunity challenge (which I originally thought of sabotaging. So good call on doing it yourself). You’re a great competitor.

Babs: https://youtu.be/trRgAQ7L8mE

No, but really, your tone seems very pointed. I know that we're friends irl, but I'm not willing to get a strike for anyone unless they're dying. Also, my fellow finalists are fucking sick. I want us all to win. To hell w being a mess for once.

Keith: Firstly I just would ask for your forgiveness. I sat on that call, the night u left. N It was so fucking so hard, to see someone care about the game so much and stressing themselves for it, who would do anything to keep themselves in the game. I loved that passion. N I’m sorry in that moment I had no choice but to lie to you. You were a strong player. I don’t know if it’s the red hair, but you look like an evil genius, whom I hope, I get to play with someday.

Babs: She's giving Captain Brayden Morgan rn, we love to see it. It was fun to have a not-so-cutthroat round w you for once! Cheers!

Dennis: Literally we will never be compatible to work together in a game. Two completely different types of logic. And I am at peace with that.

Keith: I am really sorry about your vote out. It was the one time that I didn’t know a flip was happening, I appreciate you still putting your faith in me during the game at that point, Wish I could have done better.

Babs: Miss Beverly Hills, I will admit, some premerge tea w spilled w me that didn't sit right w my spirit. I don't want it to be something that spreads and comes off as something that precedes your reputation in the community. Some pearls of wisdom from a messy bitch, themself.

Dennis: I really enjoyed our lil talks and happy to help you figure out your rising sign. I wish that fire you had at the beginning of the game stayed lit.

Keith: I really hope you don’t hate me. I genuinely believed you played a great game and you would win if you got to the end. I worked my way in with Dennis, so that he would have more loyalty to me. I can say that after kindergarten, in comparison to my age. You’re the only little girl I am afraid off. Also I stan you for supporting Riley in the instant tribal that way you did and for your Kind heart. Queen Move.

Babs: Miss Country Costco, our vibes aligned from the moment we started to talk! You were a target from the jump, and rightfully so. You're a tough cookie, who still manages to smile and get a laugh out of the rest of us. Never change, except for the boiled peanut thing. Ew, you weirdo. LMAO ❤

Dennis: You’re an icon and my favorite person to have met. It has been fun to enable each other’s chaos and play this game messy. Super fun to strategize with you and our long talks were also a blast. Sorry that it ended the way that it did, but we will be friends after dis I know it :)

Keith: My fellow timezone challenged brother. Words are not enough to describe what an amazing human being you are. I am so grateful to have met you and can’t wait for the game to end so I get to talk to you. My connection with you may have taken more time to develop than with Dennis, But it was a true connection throughout. And no matter what people say, you played an amazing game and I really thought you could win in the end. Officially a lifetime member of the Kenneth Fan Club.Miss Country Costco, our vibes aligned from the moment we started to talk! You were a target from the jump, and rightfully so. You're a tough cookie, who still manages to smile and get a laugh out of the rest of us. Never change, except for the boiled peanut thing. Ew, you weirdo. LMAO ❤

Babs: My dear cousin in colonization, there should've been a final 4, and that's the truth. But, as most things go, that's just not the fantasy that played out irl. Your vibes are fantastic, and I love a gay who laughs at every thing I do. It boosts my ego. Really, it does. Keep in touch!

Dennis: I truly felt like sometimes we were the same person. I’ve appreciated and admired your ability to strategize and critically think. You’re one hell of a game player and I wish you had won an immunity or two because I know how bad you wanted it. I know you’re gonna shine in every org that you play because you are a king. You are a kitty cat. You are zaddy.

[intothestarkerverse]

I loved Paper Hearts. Can I request a Starker version of The Good Place?

Ohhh! I hadn’t thought of his particular Starkerization, but this was loads of fun and I hope that I did it justice!

I hope you like it Nonnie and if anyone else has any requests, feel free to toss them my way!

The Good Place 

(https://archiveofourown.org/works/23048128)

When Peter Parker dies, he doesn’t expect to go to Heaven. Oh, sure, he’s tried very hard to live his life in the best way he’s known how, but he is also totally responsible for his uncle’s death and that alone had to get him a one way ticket down south. So, the last thing he expects after his untimely demise is to wake up sitting on a nondescript couch in front of a very handsome man who calls himself ‘Tony’, the ‘architect’ in charge of Peter’s ‘neighborhood’ in ‘The Good Place’. 

 While Peter thinks Friday the heavenly computer is amazing, he’s a little trepidatious about spending eternity with his ‘soul mate’. He’d been so unlucky in love on earth, he couldn’t imagine that his track record would improve just because he is now dead.

Quentin Beck is handsome, and at first he seems pretty cool...until he doesn’t. In fact, he’s a little bit of a jerk. Peter is completely unimpressed by his soulmate and tries to spend every moment he can away from home. Really, he doesn’t understand how anyone in charge of the Good Place could think that he was into egomaniacal, self-serving, not-as-smart-as-they-think-they-are jackasses. Cause he’s not. So not.

His neighbor is worse. So much worse. Peter begins to question the nature of the Good Place based entirely off of Flash’s presence there and continued insistence in referring to Peter as Penis Parker. Surely in Heaven you are spared from your High School bully...and why when the word sh*t is censored is Penis still a totally okay thing to bellow at the top of your lungs during a fancy ‘Welcome to the Afterlife’ party, anyway? Perhaps Peter’s first inclination that something is not right comes when he catches sight of Flash in the crowd at said party and his attempts to dodge him are thwarted with a shout of, “Yo! Hey, Penis is here! Penis Parker! Penis, it’s me! Ya boi! I can’t believe you made it here, dude, you were such a loser....”

Then there’s the case of Bucky and Steve. They aren’t soulmates. At least...not according to Tony and Friday, but Peter has to be blind not to notice the looks they give each other across the room and behind the backs of their respective mates. While he tries not to be superficial, Peter cannot even begin to imagine what it’s like to go to bed with Arnim Zola every night. Brock Rumlow is a lot hotter, but also a lot scarier...

No, something is definitely wrong.

To discover exactly what it is, Peter decides to get close to the only one who seems to have any clue about what’s going on. Tony. It helps that Tony is super hot and while also egomaniacal and self-serving, he is every bit as smart as he thinks he is...and Peter digs it.

~ ~ ~

This is his last chance.

As far as last chances go, it could be worse, really.

Tony knew going in that he was probably going to fail, but this was the Bad Place and things never go quite the way you want them to here. Still, the idea of eternal torment or ceasing to exist are not things he really wants to look forward to, so he is determined to do his damnedest to make this thing work....even if he knows it’s doomed to fail.

Peter Parker is a problem.

He becomes a problem on the first night when that Flash kid makes such a spectacle. Really? How is Tony supposed to sell this Good Place Schtick with some annoying Gen-Z’er publicly humiliating the most innocent, Bambi-looking soul in the bunch? Also, it made him look bad because he hadn’t done that on purpose...though if anyone asked...

He doesn’t know how he ends up with the kid tagging along with him like some intern from hell. (Ha!) In the beginning, it seems like Tony despises having Peter around. He tries to ditch him, tries to distract him, tries any number of methods of ridding himself of Peter...but Peter is like the gum in his hair that won’t leave until it’s cut out...and unbeknownst to Peter, Tony isn’t able to cut Peter free no matter how badly he wants to. So, he begrudgingly begins to accept Peter as an assistant of sorts. He tries to assign him meaningless, boring tasks, but Peter seems to thrive under the attention.

He keeps coming back form more.

Every embarrassment Tony imagines to demean him, Peter shrugs off and pushes through. Every injustice he faces, Peter shoulders and works his way around. Every torture Tony can dream up, Peter endures with grace and humility and begs for more. He’s amazing. He’s fucking good, and Tony has never met a good one before.

Not a really good one.

Not.

Ever.

He doesn’t know when he begins looking forward to the kid being around; when he finds himself spending a little too long admiring the boy’s chestnut curls and warm brown eyes; when his eyes begin a downward adventure, enjoying every chiseled edge and soft curve on the boy’s form.

Oh lust isn’t a problem. It is one of the Big Seven. They are encouraged to feed on it, trouble is...Tony isn’t dreaming of Peter screaming in pain or begging for mercy from the dark and twisted sexual acts encouraged by those in the Bad Place. No. No, if he was, well, everything would be fine, wouldn’t it? No. Tony is thinking about the whimpers of mercy from the gentle caresses and tender worshipping a boy like that deserves. He wants to take him apart in the best possible way. Not to torture him, but to revere him. Peter Parker is everything about humanity that Tony thought could never really exist and he wants him...wants to taste him, to have him, to know what it’s like to become so close to something that isn’t festering and rotting and putrid like everything else in the Bad Place.

So clearly it’s all his fault when Peter Parker shows up at his office one day with a look of determination and declares.

“I know this is the Bad Place, Tony.”

Well, that’s it. The jig is up. If he’s going to cease to exist or spend eternity in a fiery pit of excruciating agony, he might as well have one moment of joy. So, he silences the boy with a kiss. Peter seems surprised, until he isn’t. One moment he is frozen in shock, and the next moment he has his arms around Tony, fingers caught in his thick dark hair and the boy is kissing back with everything he has.

It’s is everything Tony ever thought it could be. It is warm and tender and gentle and soft and good and passionate and fills him with something he cannot even begin to describe but really, genuinely fears might be love. He never wants the moment to end and every time Peter tries to pull away, Tony pulls him back, pawing at his clothing and throwing everything on his desk into disarray in his harried attempt to make room for everything he wants, everything he needs. If a demon can die happy, than he will die happy, just give him a night of this, a night of Peter.

Tony commits every moment to memory, tracing his hands over the soft ivory skin, exploring every edge and curve, ever ridge and furrow. He tastes everything, spends what could be hours (time is such a Jeremy Bearimy) turning every sordid sexual torture from the Bad Place into the most worshipful offering he can. Peter screams his name a dozen times, sometimes muted against the desk and others freely into the room. Tony relishes every sensation, pauses in certain moments to remember what it feels like to have his body so close to something so good. He isn’t worthy, he never will be, but Peter is giving it all willingly and enjoying every minute of it. That does have to stand for something doesn’t it?

It has to end, everything does, and in the morning even though they’re both spent, Peter is still determined to have his answers. So, Tony tells him everything. Who he is. What he is. That this is the Bad Place and they’re all being tortured for eternity. Peter begs him to show mercy to people like Steve and Bucky and even, surprisingly, Flash, but Tony isn’t really in charge of anything. He’s just as doomed as the rest of them.

“So, that’s it, we’re all just...we’re all just going to be here forever like this?”

Tony looks away, scrubbing a hand over his carefully groomed facial hair and cocking his head slightly as he winces. “Not really, Baby. You know. My bosses are going to call this a failure. I’m dead, or good as...and, uh, you and the others are going to go to the Bad Place for real this time. It’s....pretty terrible. Lot worse than this. Eternal torment. Worst fears. You know the deal, I’m sure.”

“You can’t let that happen.”

“What part of I’m not in charge did you not get? Do I look like I run the place? Cloven hooves, pitchfork, horns? Huh? I can’t save any of them. I can’t even save you, and if I was going to save anyone...for the record, it would be you.”

Peter is reaching for his hands with an indistinguishable look in his eyes that Tony soon learns must be what humans call ‘hope’ because what he is suggesting is insane. “Maybe, they don’t have to know. That I know, I mean. I could pretend that I don’t. We could go back to things, the way they were. We could pretend and we could all just stay here because if here is better than there...than here is all we’ve got.”

Tony knows its a ridiculous plan, but he can’t look into those eyes and say no. He hears himself agreeing before he even realizes that he has, and the next thing he knows...he and Peter have returned to their normal lives...only with a lot more sex. A lot of sex. And sharing, Peter is big on the sharing. Tony pretends to mind, but really...he’s never actually been to earth and it’s interesting to learn about what it’s like to live there, to be human. He can even find himself fantasizing about what that might have been like. To be one of them. To be free to live a real life with Peter instead of...whatever this is.

~ ~ ~

Peter isn’t giving up.

It’s not in his nature.

There has to be a way out of this, not just for himself but for everyone and for Tony. He refuses to believe that any of them belong in this place, not really, and he’s determined to find a way to get them all out.

Tony is so gentle, so starved for affection, so eager to drink up every drop of the human condition. He’s no demon. In bed maybe, sure, but not....not in the torture people and take pleasure in their pain kind of way. And Steve and Bucky, they haven’t done anything worthy of being in the Bad Place. Even Flash wasn’t that terrible.

Something is wrong and Peter is going to figure it out. He has to, but also has to do it without Tony knowing because that would ruin everything, wouldn’t it?

It happens in small doses, when Peter is alone with Friday he asks her all kinds of innocent questions about how The Good Place operates. How do people end up there? What do they do to earn the way there? What happens if they’re bad? A thousand questions that he asks and records carefully and innocently in such a way as to avoid alerting anyone to his true intentions.

Slowly things begin to make sense and his also carefully considered questions to Tony about how the Afterlife works and the hierarchy of upper management is laid out provides Peter with the solution.

“I can’t call the Judge for you, Peter.”

Peter purses his lips in an almost petulant frown as he looks the human-like computer over unhappily. “Why not?”

“I am almost certain that Boss wouldn’t like it very much.”

“Almost isn’t certain. C’mon, Fri, did Tony tell you that I’m not allowed to speak to the Judge?”

The computer pauses, considering this for a moment before she gives a curt shake of her head. “No, he hasn’t.”

“Has he told you that he would be angry if I did?”

“No.”

“Than you can’t be certain at all that he’ll be made if you call them now. So. The Judge. I need to talk to them and I need you to call them for me because I know you know how.”

“Peter...”

It is a round about argument that goes on for an indeterminate amount of time before Peter finds himself standing in front of an imposing dark man with an eye patch and a penchant for leather who is looking at him like a bug he would like to crush beneath his steel-toed boot.

“Who the fuck are you?”

Peter clears his throat and plunges into his carefully pre-written speech. He can tell that this man is not the sort to be swayed by emotion, so he skips some of his more eloquently penned descriptions of the situations to stick with cold hard facts.

Something is wrong in the Bad Place.

There are souls there that shouldn’t be and he can prove it.

To his credit, the Judge listens with only a few derisive snorts and muttered curses, but it is a mention of Tony that finally draws an interruption.

“Wait a minute, wait a minute. Slow you’re roll there, kid. Go back to this Tony guy. He’s a demon right? Bad guy? Tortured and all that. So why did your voice get soft when you talked about him? Don’t lie to me. I’ll know and we’ll end this little chat of ours in ten seconds flat.”

Peter didn’t know what to do besides simply tell the Judge the truth. So, he did. Everything that had occurred between himself and the ‘architect’ and everything that he felt for the man.

“You love him? A demon.” Another snort. “I mean, I know humans can have some pretty self destructive tendencies but...”

“He loves me, too.”

“Yeah, no he doesn’t. Demons can’t fall in love. Can’t feel it. Don’t even know what it is.”

“Tony can.”

“If that’s true, there’s more wrong in the Bad Place than even you realize.”

Peter crosses his arms and stares the bigger man down victoriously. “I told you.”

The Judge lets out a long sigh, “I’ll have my best people look into it and if you’re correct...I’ll make it right, because that’s my job.”

Peter is returned to his every day existence and does his best to hide his deceit from Tony. Though, he does not seemingly have long to wait to learn to the fate of himself or his friends.

Just as the upper management arrive to take them all to eternal torment, the Judge returns with his findings.

Something is indeed wrong in the Afterlife. There are souls in the Bad Place that were never meant to be there. Clerical errors that may be (but probably are not) a mistake resulted in the damnation of an undisclosed number of human souls. These souls would be immediately relocated to their correct resting place. Peter included.

“What about Tony?” Peter cannot just let that go.

The Judge rolls his one good eye as he looks down at the kid again. “You won, Kid, enjoy your victory.”

“I can’t. Not if Tony is going to stay here. He doesn’t deserve to be here....”

“Look, you were right. He can feel love. He does, in fact, feel love. But he’s a demon and there’s not a damn thing I can do about where he is. If he were human maybe...”

“Than make him human. Let him live. If he sucks he can suffer here like he’s going to anyway and if he doesn’t than he can be with me there...in the Good Place.”

The Judge narrows his one good eye at Peter. “It’s a reasonable compromise, but I’ll only consider it on one condition.”

“What’s that?”

“You go back with him. Tony can be human but he’ll have no memory of any of this. Not until he dies and comes back here. I will erase the moment of your death, return you to your life as if you have always been there. If you really want, you can retain some memory of all of this as a near death experience because I have a soft spot for wise ass kids. I’ll even make sure you cross paths with Tony while you’re there. But you live your life and you take whatever Afterlife you earn. If Tony leads you down a dark path, you’re back here. If you manage to reform a demon, you can both shine your halos into perpetuity. Sound fair?”

Peter is sure this is a trap, but he cannot see how he can refuse. Despite the protestations he can hear coming from Tony where is he is being restrained by demons several yards away, Peter nods his agreement and the world goes dark.

~ ~ ~

It isn’t nearly as hard to get used to being alive again as Peter thought it would be. Details are a bit fuzzy when it comes to the Bad Place. He remembers some things better than others and wonders about the Jeremy Bearimy of it all because Flash is still very much alive when Peter is given his newfound lease on life. He’s literally never going to get away from that guy.

Peter has no idea when or where he will encounter Tony again, but he waits eagerly for the chance. He is still daydreaming about the demon when he’s being led into the office of his new boss on the first day of his internship exactly a month after his resurrection.

“Peter, this is Tony Stark...”

Anything else Ms. Potts has to say to Peter is completely lost to him as he takes in the roguish form of his devilish lover. Peter cannot hide the smile from forming on his lips as Tony holds out a hand to shake.

“Wish I could say it was nice to meet you, Kid, but being my intern is probably going to be Hell.”

“I don’t doubt it, Mr. Stark, but I can’t think of any place I’d rather be.”

[chronicowboy]

Carol Danvers did not expect to get attached to another snarky on the outside but soft on the inside man when she returned to earth. She was simply told that a person, immeasurable in his importance and loved more than he knew, was stranded in space. There was no hesitation in her actions, she marched outside and launched herself into the atmosphere; something she'd done a thousand times but this one felt different. It didn't take all that long for her to find the ship, a man wasting away in the cockpit. For a terrible, agonising moment she thought she was too late, but his eyes — they didn't flutter, no, that's far too delicate a word for what they did — opened with immense force and she breathed a sigh of relief before pushing the ship back home. It was a strange feeling that hung in the air when she laid the ship down. Anxiety, love, curiosity, anger, sadness, regret and comfort combined in a concoction of suffocating agony. The man, Tony Stark, exited the ship and immediately everyone rushed to his aid.

It was hours before Carol felt it appropriate to check on him. What she didn't know was with one simple step into the room and question of his state she'd find a new friend. Pepper, his wife she'd found out, and James, his best friend, had dozed off after he'd finally woken up. A telling off of her fellow captain even without knowing the history behind it was very satisfying, but exhausting for the man who was dying just moments before. He had woken up a while ago and sent his closest loved ones to slumber safe in the knowledge that their Tony was back home, tiring jokes and all. She poked her head in, waving a hand.

"Hey, Carol, is it?" He asked in a stage whisper. She nodded, closing the door softly behind her. "Thanks for saving me and all. Big fan of that whole photon glow thing you have going on-"

"You don't have to do that." She muttered, knowing exactly what he was trying to; she knew it like the back of her hand. "Look, I'm not gonna ask how you are because I know you'll just say you're fine in the form of some snarky comment-"

"So you're me, if I was blonde, female and an alien?" The sincerity in her tone made him uneasy just as all captains did.

"I'm of the human disposition, unfortunately. Survived a blast from the tesseract, absorbed its energy and here we are." An odd sense of pride settled in her heart when he smirked. "I don't know what went on with you guys," she gestured to the captain pacing outside with Natasha, "but I want you to know that I don't give a shit. That rant, that was fucking satisfying as anything. And I know he deserved it." She settled into the empty seat beside Pepper as he chuckled. "I've seen the tapes. Of you fighting," and Tony was struck with the terrible feeling that he was going to be made to question his morals. "You're a good man. You fight for what's right, anyway you can, but you still take more precautions than the rest of them to preserve civilian lives. I think we'll get along just fine." They sat there until the morning, getting to know each other. Carol heard countless stories of Peter Parker, the brave kid from Queens, and his far too loyal for her own good wife whilst Tony heard about the ever-aging family she can never manage to say goodbye to when she leaves and tales about a young, two-eyed Nick Fury. When she left in the morning, a bond had already been formed.

Over the course of a very long half-decade where the skies were embedded with a thick pall of ash that was formerly living loving things, Carol dropped by every now and then. Her holographic meetings with Natasha, a woman she'd grown quite fond of, were nice but that was the only contact she had with earth. Her days spent on the planet were reserved for one small, broken family. Catch ups with the Starks. Baby Morgan, who got older each time and Carol didn't like it, staring in awe at the glowing lady. Pepper, who's smile lit up the room, slinging an arm around her shoulders. Tony, who still mourned the loss of his mentee, bringing her into bone crushing hugs that got ever so slightly weaker each time.

When he died, Carol was lost. She had Maria and Monica and Nick back, but at the cost of Tony's life. It was all tainted, but she couldn't bring herself to be angry with the man. She didn't get to see Peter Parker at the funeral, only met him once in the midst of their war. He was a kind boy with a strength almost equal to her own. She instantly found herself vowing to protect him at all costs and she knew that'd mean mentoring him when he was ready to be a hero once more.

☆☆☆

It's a year later when Peter finally finds the strength to go back to the compound. May had called up Rhodey a while ago and asked for his opinion on the subject.

"When he's ready, we'll be waiting. He's an avenger, but we still need time after something like this." James regretted that last part when the kind woman's inquiries into his wellbeing brought tears to his eyes and a lump to his throat.

Peter said he needed a little more time. He thought he should be a normal teenager for a while because,

"It's what Tony would have wanted."

When the day came, May was beyond apprehensive. Peter had been more fidgety than usual, somehow, so much so that she could practically feel the sickening vibrations of excitement and anxiety. She drove him to the compound with tensed shoulders and nervous glances at the passenger seat. Peter smiled at her each time, it hurt to go there with the guarantee of no Tony but he was ready to be back to his normal as can be superhero career. May had to resist the urge to walk him to the door with two strong hands on his shoulders. He could practically see her thoughts and took her hands in his when he was out of the car. She walked him in, greeting Happy with a smile as Rhodey pulled Peter towards the meeting room. They didn't say goodbye. Didn't have to.

"Alright, kid. Now, we're gonna ease you back in. Most of us are away on business, but there's somebody who's looking forward to meeting you. Properly, anyway." He held the door open for him and the blonde lady, Captain Marvel he vaguely remembered her being called in the letters Tony had written for him, turned around.

"Hey, Peter Parker." She smiled. He ignored the way his heart skipped a beat at the small flashback of the battle and let the grin tug the corner of his lips up.

"Captain Marvel?" His words dripped with adoration.

"Please, call me Carol. Captain Marvel is my mother." She joked before backtracking at the incredulous look on his face. "No. Um, not really. I was just joking. All human, you see. Just absorbed the energy of the tesseract so now I can do this," she points a clenched fist at the wall and a photon blast leaves a scorch mark.

"Come on, man. I thought we stayed in contact because we're both the only no nonsense avengers." Rhodey groaned.

"We are, but, James, there's a child in the room. Unlike you, I'm great with kids." She replied coolly, bumping shoulders with Peter.

"Okay, one, I'm nearly eighteen-"

"So still a kid." She interrupted, but was swiftly ignored by the boy.

"And, two, your name is James?" He laughed as Rhodey grumbled something about a headache and walked out.

"Carol Danvers at your mentoring service." She bowed, grinning.

"You're going to be my new mentor?" He asked, shaking off the waver in his voice.

"I mean, I know I'm off world a lot but yeah. I don't see why not. I'm the best influence here. You're basically as strong as me and your webs mean you can fly. Kind of. You get what I mean. The only difference is, I can shoot the power of an infinity stone out of my fists." Peter's eyes widened in awe. The beam on his face ached and he thought it was physically impossible for it to grow anymore. He couldn't remember the last time he'd smiled like this so genuinely. However, the lightness of the air quickly evolved into a serious atmosphere as she sat down and motioned for him to take a seat. He complied immediately, heart freezing in fear of what was to come. "Tony told me a lot about you," and there it was. He sucked in a deep breath and knew his new, out of this world, insanely cool mentor was watching him deteriorate. "Hey, hey. Take a deep breath. Heroes are allowed to be scared. The best ones usually are." She smiled kindly yet sadly. "Do you want me to carry on?" Peter nodded, steeling himself with the necessity of hearing what was to be said.

"I do." He confirmed.

"He told me how brave you are, how strong and kind and respectful. How you'd do anything to please him, but you weren't afraid to stand up to him when he was being stubborn. He admired you more than he'd ever get to admit. Said his biggest regret was not telling you how much you meant to him when you were alive. He loved you, Pete. And, not to make this about me or anything, I knew I would to when you were polite enough to introduce yourself to me whilst holding the doom of the universe in your tired arms." She stood abruptly as her — was that a pager? — pager beeped. "I have to go. Rhodey has your way of contacting me whenever you need me. Whether it's life threatening stuff or you just need to talk, please get in touch." She pulled him into a newly comforting embrace before ushering him out of the door. "I want to meet this 'hot aunt' of yours." He found yet another smile forming on his face.

Happy stopped mid-sentence and looked over May's shoulder. She turned around, fearing the dejected look she was sure to see on Peter's face and the furrowed brow on Rhodey's. Instead, she found her grinning nephew next to a woman who seemed to be glowing. An expression of pure amazement tugging at his face.

"Hello?" May offered her hand. Carol took it, pulling a face of approval.

"You must be the wonder aunt, May Parker. You raised a wonderful boy and the world's safer for it. Thank you." Carol noticed they were still holding hands and blushed slightly as she coughed, retracting her gloved hand.

"Um, thanks?" May asked uncertainly as an inexplicable smile spread across her face.

"No problem. Sorry this has to be an abrupt meeting, but too many planets to save and too little time to save them. Bye, Peter, May." She nodded before retreating to the doors.

"Who's that?" May asked as they watched her shoot off into the sky.

"Carol Danvers. My new mentor." Peter looped his arm through May's and began recounting the wonderfully bizarre encounter he'd just had.

[chicago-reeed]

PHCK ME - Reed900 Fic Rec List

Hello!!! You might not remember, but awhile back I mentioned I had the start of a fic rec list that I planned to post (which I never did). To celebrate all 1K+ of you, I thought I would finish the list for you! It is my duty as a loyal reed900 servant.

DISCLAIMER: This list of reccomendations was made purely out of personal opinion. I by no means want to discredit any other fics/authors. Some may not agree with my choices, and that’s totally understandable. I just wanted to share these fics because I personally enjoyed them <3

I didn’t include some fics because they haven’t been updated in a long time, or I didn’t remember them enough to give them accurate reviews. Also, I’m sure there are many more fics that I forgot to put on here (these are from my ao3 bookmarks). I might include them in a future update.

Anyways, all of my recs are under the cut! There are a lot!! I had eight pages worth of them in my documents haha

Mint Condition - by itsdefinitive - Mature - Content warnings - Chapters 18/? - Reed could see what they were going for there -- the whole infallible super-soldier thing.  A monument to testosterone made perfect, cast in steel within plastic.  It was actually really creepy.  Maybe that was on purpose.

The first reed900 fic I read, and it’s honestly what got me into the pairing itself.

Charon - by Vapewraith - Explicit: only suitable for adults - Author chose not to warn for content - Chapters 20/20 - Gavin Reed, a mess of a human being, just wants to be left to his self destructive tendencies. RK900, an android designed by the most brilliant minds in the world to be the perfect machine, is desperate to grasp the full range of emotional freedom now afforded to him. The two will need to find an equilibrium before their incompatible personalities—and an eccentric serial killer with a dangerous piece of tech—swallow them whole.

I can’t even describe how much I love this fic. I’m a slut for horror, and there’s plenty of that in here. It might just be my favorite. Definitely recommend.

Two Sides of a Vaguely Similar Coin - by ZombiBird - Mature - Author chose not to warn for content - Chapters 13/? - RK900 is lost.

It’s been months since the Revolution and he’s still no closer to figuring out what the hell he’s supposed to be doing with himself. He feels like an outsider in his own body. Completely detached, nothing more than a quiet observer; like he’s looking down at the world through a layer of glass instead of fully living in it.

Gavin Reed is a temperamental asshole.

This isn’t news, okay? Gavin’s fully aware of what he is. He burns bridges instead of building them. Bites hands instead of shaking them. Would rather drown in a sea comprised of the consequences of his faults and misdeeds than try to change the way he is. Because people like him? Maybe they deserve to drown.

[Alternatively: Both lost in different ways, Gavin and RK900 try to figure their shit out and end up learning that, sometimes, it takes two people who have absolutely no idea what the hell they’re doing to get a goddamn clue.]

I don’t remember much about this fic, if I’m honest. Not that the story is forgettable, it’s just been awhile since I read it. However, the title definitely stood out to me so I know it was very good :P

Captcha Encryption - by Cerulaine - Explicit: only suitable for adults - Content warnings - Chapters 18/? - It's a little over a year after the android uprising and it's still the end of the fucking world.

Back in the day when things became shit he used to enjoy a drink or two. Or Five. It all depended on how long the shift ran. After 'The Accident' he can't even cough without Nines breathing down his neck anymore.

He just wishes everything would go back to normal, but if there's anything Gavin has learned it's that you can't unring a bell once it's been rung.

Or whatever. Fuck if he knows.

Similar situation to the last fic: I don’t remember much about it (my memory SUCKS), but I do remember thoroughly enjoying this one.

Daydreamer - by Pence - Mature - Content warnings - Chapters 21/24 - Large purple bruises twined prettily around the corpse’s throat, every finger defined in perfect cruelty. His eyes tore away from the handprints as a cold finger traced the lightning strike scar across the center of his face—drawing his attention to a small, blue lipped smile.

“Do you think you’ll ever leave this town, Gavin?”

________

When a series of Detroit murders are linked as originating in his hometown, Gavin Reed is unwillingly assigned the case. Fowler insists that his history with the place and people will hugely benefit such an investigation.

He was fucking wrong. 

This fic is one big holy shit moment tbh. Really fantastic. Really makes you wonder why these authors aren’t paid to do this.

All Aboard the Underground Railroad - by Senjihae - No Rating - Author chose not to warn for content - Chapters 11/? - What starts as sticking it towards his half brother evolves into something with the potential to rewrite android history as he knows it. Gavin doesn't realize what he gets himself into until he is mistaken as the 'Android Messiah' of all things. It's not like he goes out of his way to help them, but his life gets a lot harder once Hank is assigned a shiny new boy toy ('sent by CyberLife').

Things only get worse when he's gifted a heap of metal of his own ('sent by Elijah Kamski').

(Yeah, fuck off Elijah)

Very interesting fic. Gavin is RA9 so that’s a thing. A nice slow burn!

Dragon Become Age - by errantwheat - Explicit: only suitable for adults - Content Warnings - Chapters 11/? - Y’all wanted me to write dragon age!au so I did :)

YES! YES! YES! DRAGON AGE AU! YES! YES! YES! (it’s really gud)

Warmth - by TheRedPaladin101 - Teen and Up Audiences - No Warnings - Chapters 1/1 - Gavin frowned, the aching in his shoulder fading from his mind for a moment. “Then give me my jacket.”

“Your jacket is in no condition to keep you warm,” he stated. “For now, use mine and stay warm while we wait to head back to the station.”

----

Five times RK900 gave Gavin Reed his jacket, and one time Gavin gave his in return.

Very wholesome. Lives up to its title. Some good ole hurt/comfort!

Letifer - Terminallydepraved - Explicit: only suitable for adults - Author chose not to warn for content - Chapters 19/19 - Gavin Reed is a DPD beat cop determined to make detective by any means possible, and putting an end to a string of murders looks like the quickest way to accomplishing that goal. Unfortunately for him, he fails to account for the real culprit— or the thought that perhaps he isn't the only one on the hunt for a killer.

(Now with cover art by Leetmorry!)

I love beat cop!gavin. It humbles him. And vampire!nines is scary and amazing. Love how the author wrote both of these characters (and the others too!). I definitely recommend this one!

A Strange and Beautiful Creature -  by LittleLalaith - General audiences - No warnings - Chapters 7/7 - Scientist Nines is called in to Amanda's lab to assist with a new discovery - a genuine Mermaid.

While Amanda is indifferent to the creature's circumstances, Nines builds an unlikely connection to the specimen and they grow a little closer than either of them expected.

(AKA Gavin is a sassy sea slug and Nines thrills in breaking the safety protocols)

Mermaid au! Nines wants to save mermaid Gavin, and it’s all very wholesome.

I Think You Do - by spotlightonmringenue - Teen and Up Audiences - Author chose not to warn for content - Chapters 16/? - “Son of a bitch, there’s another one. What the fuck is it doing,” Gavin says, grip going white on the gun as the android continues to stare at him without acknowledging Connor.

“RK900, my name is Connor. I’m part of a group called Jericho that recovered you from Cyberlife’s Production Center late yesterday. We are currently in the Detroit Police Department Central Station. Are you feeling okay?”

“It doesn’t feel shit,” Gavin mumbles, resisting the urge to step back as the RK900 takes a step closer. It holds out the cup, and Gavin’s eyes dart to it for only a second before flipping between Connor and his doppelganger.

“You requested coffee,” it says, and Hank sighs, leaning back against his desk while rubbing a hand over his forehead.

Quality ‘enemies to friends’ content. Nines is intimidating. Gavin is confused. Good times.

Flying with Crooked Wings - by UnCon - Mature - No warnings - Chapters 20/? - “Listen, kid,” Gavin started, cutting off the desolate child. Sure it was sad his dog had died but it wasn’t Gavin’s fault no one taught the little twerp chocolate was a dog’s kryptonite, “he’s in a better place, alright, so if you’d just stop asking for him to come back—it’d be much appreciated.”

“You promise?” the eight-year-old asked, his big brown eyes looking like glass—fragile and sparkly.

“Yeah,” Gavin lied, looking away as he did it—his halo going a bit crooked. To be honest, he wasn’t sure where dogs went after they died, only that he was tasked with calming the little boys and girls who despaired after them—at least until his punishment was up. “So just, you know, go to sleep and all that.”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In a world where angels and demons inhabit the same earth, both searching for a way to overthrow the other, both failing--Gavin sits right in the middle, with a crooked halo and a pair of wings to match. It's not enough to be a bit mischievous, however, he also has to get caught up in the demon brothers' scheme to take over heaven. Perfect.

Really good! This fic has the interesting dynamic of Gavin as an angel and Nines as a demon. Check it out!

The Red String Will Still Connect Us Ten Thousand Miles Apart (and to the moon and back) - by Jillflur - Teen and Up - Content warnings - Chapters 5/5 - Gavin, an ‘unlovable’ man without a Soulmate. He was used to it, never had one since he could remember. However, that little fact changes when he wakes up one day and realizes that he suddenly has a Red String connected to his ring finger. It only gets worse when months later, an android walks into the precinct who apparently is his new Soulmate!

Can androids even have Soulmates?!

To make everything even more complicated, a sudden new killer is on the Streets, and he murders people by cutting their Red Strings!

A soulmate fic by our very own jillflur! So good. Amazin. I love the red string trope so much. Yall should big read.

the prince & the reed - by Pence - Mature - Content warnings - Chapters 2/? - "I wanted to marry you," the prince murmured, polished armor gleaming as he stared down at the injured man--icy eyes tinged with sadness. Regret.

A guttural scream ripped from the soldier's throat as a heel dug into his wound, arm coated crimson from his weeping shoulder.

The soldier's teeth were stained pink as he jerked his chin up to grin toothily at the other man, bloody fingers scrambling down his thigh in search of the dagger tucked into his boot.

"Then drop to your knees and ask me properly, Nines."

Okay this fic is only two chapters and hasn’t been updated in awhile but GOT DAMN do I love how the author set this medieval fic up. I’m a slut for the medieval au’s, so that’s just extra points.

Not a teacher but I can teach you a thing or two - by Adishailan - Teens and Up - No warnings - Chapters 20/20 - Gavin owed the walking hunk of plastic. He owed him. Ugh, Gavin hated owing people stuff. It gave him a horrible feeling in his stomach, like indigestion, except worse because it involved emotionsTM. This, coupled with the fact he was pumped up with drugs and suffering a concussion, was why he was about to make a terrible, terrible mistake.

“‘Kay. Fine. Thanks or whatever. Lemme know if you ever need anythin' prick.”

RK900’s LED went yellow at this, and this time Gavin was pretty sure he was doing the processing thing. It was still yellow even when he nodded in a serious way and said:

“That would be useful.”

Oh man this one is BIG CUTE! It’s so soft, and is a fantastic slow burn. I totally recommend this fic.

O May I Join the Choir Invisible - by BanishedOne - Mature - No warnings - Chapters 13/? - Gavin Reed was a new inmate at a prison where the infamous killer, R. Nathan Kearney, was on death row. Circumstances led to an unfortunate encounter.

Okay don’t quote me on this but I think you can find the rest of this fic on Twitter. It was posted in a bunch of seperate posts and it was really confusing but there was definitely extra chapters. You can find the post here (or at BanishedOne on twitter). Other than that, this is a really good fic! The boys get into a lot of trouble!

Neon Maps - by caffienefueledfeels - Explicit: only suitable for adults - Content warnings - Chapters 11/11 - Everyone has their limits. Gavin is about to discover several of his own.

He's broke, barely scraping along, and struggling to keep an aggressive black-mailer off his back. On top of that, the grey-eyed distraction in his bed is about to test his heart in more ways than one.

Cyberpunk fic!! Super interesting! Go check it out!

Computers Are Elaborate Cat Beds, Actually - by errantwheat - No Rating - Author chose not to warn for content - Chapters 6/? - “Marvelous find, Gavin. They’ll promote you for this, surely.”

Gavin pulled an exaggerated frown. He was awfully animated for a robot. “Jesus, What kind of human are you? I’m waving a fucking kitten in your face and you’re still a bitch.”

Really cute. I’m pretty sure there’s some art to go with this fic. Super duper cute reverse au!

More Than a Woman, More Than a Bride - by AvixiLynn91 - Explicit: only suitable for adults - Content warnings - Chapters 38/? - When Gavin’s life is threatened for the last time by a violent gang expanding the production of a new drug in Detroit, Captain Fowler must come up with a plan for his safety. Perhaps forcing a marriage between Nines and Gavin wasn’t the best solution he could come up with...

Oh man. This fic. Let me tell you. I’ve been with this fic since the beginning and it is one hell of a roller coaster XD. The author updates constantly, it’s really impressive.

More Like You - by Mooneye - Teen and Up - No warnings - Chapters 1/1 - “This next bit’s going to get awkward. I’m going to interface with you.”

At that he could feel the collective confusion in the room. His eyes darted up to look at Hank and then Nines. They both seemed eerily still and were possibly thinking that Gavin had surely lost his mind.

Gavin has kept his prosthetic arm, with good reason, a secret from humans and androids alike for as long as he’s had it. The prospect of losing Nines threatens to unravel everything, but perhaps it’s worth the cost.

The idea of Gavin (an android hater in-game) having a prosthetic-android arm is definitely interesting!

An Unforeseen Union - by AvixiLynn91 - Explicit: only suitable for adults - Author chose not to warn for content - Chapters 16/16 - Gavin and Nines are sent undercover to investigate a slew of brutal murders at a gay counselling and therapy resort for androids and humans. They're forced to pose as a couple, but soon feel their relationship becoming more than an act as real feelings develop.

I loved the dramatic whodunnit vibes in this fic! It gets crazy :P

The Great DPD Kink-Off - by connorssock, LittleLalaith, Skye_Willows, Stujet9rainshine - Explicit: only suitable for adults - Author chose not to warn for content - Chapters 24/24 - It started out as a bit of rivalry and turned into a competition. Who was the kinkiest android in town?

If you like smut, then read this. That is all I will say.

The Black Nights, The Long Dark - by bvssbot - Explicit - Content warnings - Chapters 8/12 - translation of an amazing russian fic тёмные ночи, долгая тьма (the dark nights, the long darkness) into english

An unknown catastrophe was the reason Gavin ended up stranded alone on a godforsaken Canadian island. Having almost made peace with the thought of living in solitude for the rest of his days, he saves the life of a pilot named Richard, whose airplane crashed in the middle of his humanitarian mission.

Shit, I loved ‘The Long Dark’ and I love this fic. I don’t speak russian, unfortunately, so I must wait to read the end. But this is still amazing and you all should read it.

Detroit: Outlast - by Cardboardghost - Mature - Content warnings - Chapters 1/? - Connor Upshur is a down on his luck reporter, who spends his nights getting drunk and passing out at home. A mysterious email calls him to Mount Massive Asylum, owned by the Cyberlife corporation. Armed with nothing but a camera and his wits, Connor must brave the asylum's horrors and find way to save the people Cyberlife stole from him.

Gavin Park is a beat cop looking for a more well paying job. So when an offer to work private security at the Cyberlife corporation all but falls into his lap, how could he refuse? Gavin quickly realizes things are not what they seem, and in an attempt to expose Cyberlife, he ends up further in their clutches. Now he and Connor must work together to claw their way out of the asylum's depths, and the familiar faces that wait inside those walls.

This fic only has onw chapter, but go check out Cardboardghost’s art if you finish reading this!! They have provided so much quality content for the Outlast/DBH crossover I didn’t know I needed.

Gin & Tonic - by limchi - Explicit - No warnings - Chapters 8/? - People didn’t like Gavin Reed. Gavin Reed didn’t like people. It went together like gin and tonic, you can’t have one without the other. Nines hated him and he hated Nines. Those were the rules they played by, the rules that couldn't be changed - until fate decided they could.

It turned Gavin into pretending to dislike and Nines into a dense idiot with a crush, unable to grasp the concept of love. Both in utter denial. The catch: gravity worked against them, pulled them together at a frightening pace. Push against and defy the rules of nature or go along the prevailing forces?

Your friendly neighborhood reed900 fic. Very epic slow burn and fluff (and a hint of angst tbh). I definitely recommend!

Bitter Half - by turnabout - Mature - Author chose not to warn for content - Chapters 5/5 - Gavin Reed was born unmarked, and had spent his entire life expecting to die like he lived - alone. It isn't until Tina points out the new serial number on his chest that he realizes everything is about to change. Whether that's for better or for worse is up to him.

I’m a sucker for soulmate fics and this one does not disappoint!

K-900 - by Serazimei - Teen and Up - No warnings - Chapters 3/3 - Gavin and Nines were a great team. Unfortunately they were both huge workaholics. That's why when Nines' body gets busted on a job and the needed parts aren't available yet chaos is inevitable. Needing to choose between waiting and potentially being of no use at work or participate in one of Kamskis experiments and transfer his mind into an Android dog the decision is easy to make.

Who knew being in a dog body could become such a hassle? Not Nines, that's for sure.

Nines is a pup!!! I don’t believe I’ve seen a fic like this yet, so it’s really cool!

Thanks I'm Hating It - by Lupo (LupoLight) - Explicit: only suitable for adults - No warnings - Chapters 4/4 - Gavin goes to a fast food burger joint and Nines judges him. Then he realizes that Gavin isn't as much of a dick as he used to be, except he is, but in a different way. He isn't sure how to react to this knowledge.

QUALITY reed900 content

Bloodstains - by DeviantAlicee - Mature - Content warnings - Chapters 12/? - Nines is an interrogator & detective for the DPD with a dark past. His thick skin & smarts helping him to be one of the most valuable members of the department. He's cold & daunting.

GV200 is one of the first police android models who's partnered with a cruel beat cop who not only hates that his partner is an android but doesn't think GV can feel any of the cruel things he does or says to him. The android doesn't speak up due to the fear of being shut down.

Nines has no clue that the android he bumped into at a bar is in fact a police android. He just thinks that he might be somebody in need of some help. But, as time passes by & a new drug that can be used by androids begins to circulate, Nines begins to realise the situation is a whole lot more convoluted than he originally thought.

This is a really interesting reverse au! Check it out!

Team spirit - by ilse_writes - Mature - No warnings - Chapters 4/4 - Someone had the unholy idea to go camping with the department, all in the name of 'team building'. Gavin is not liking it very much. That tall instructor with his haughty manners and cool eyes... that one he likes very much.

I don’t think I’ve seen another au quite like this one. Very epic content, can we hit Gavin Reed?

Wake Up - by SkySquid22 - Mature - Content warnings - Chapters 6/? - “Gavin!”

GV200 slipped out of his stasis. He didn’t get a chance to open his eyes before a file came down on his face, smacking him.

“And here I thought tin cans didn’t sleep.”

Something was wrong.

Something was very very wrong.

DIS GOT ME  F U C K E D  U P!!! Bruh @skysquid200 really out here shaking my world with this fic. I was hollering while reading this like I got HYPED

Natural - by Erik_Heinrich - Teen and Up - Author chose not to warn for content - Chapters 1/? - They are all wing people.

Gavin gets partnered with Nines. As expected hes not too happy about it, but their partnership seems to be going well. That is until spring comes along. Nines wings seem a bit fidgety and Gavin is nesting. Nines doesn't realize he's been trying to court Gavin, and Gavin is just as oblivious.

or. They are both complete idiots the whole time

WING FIC WING FIC WING FIC!!!! Yall dont know how long I’ve looked for a reed900 wing fic. My homie @phckingusername out here doin God’s work <333

Thank you all so much for 1K!!! Being able to hop on Tumblr everyday and talk to you guys makes me so happy!! I really hope I didn't f up this rec list anywhere lol. Hope u guys like it!!

[sleepbeeboys]

one hundred reasons not to kill yourself

1. people love you

2. everything will be okay one day. i promise

3. what about all your dreams and goals? how can you accomplish them if you’re dead?

4. we’re all going to die eventually anyways, so make your life the best it can be while you still can!

5. the world sucks without a beautiful person like you

6. lesbians are going to take over the world soon, don’t you want to be around to see that?

7. you’ve probably been told this so many times, but i’ll say it again. suicide is permanent. please, stay alive.

8. you’re such a wonderful and amazing person. you don’t deserve to die, you don’t deserve any of the harm you’re doing to yourself.

9. people you’ve never even met care about you because you’re just that awesome

10. you’ve fallen down, okay? just get back up again. we’ll help you.

11. it’s going to be okay soon. just wait

12. help is out there.

13. i don’t care that you think you deserve to die. it’s not true.

14. one day you’ll smile for real. you’ll be happy, genuinely happy. and it will feel like the best thing in the world, and you’ll feel so glad that you’re still alive to feel that way.

15. you still haven’t finished that bottle of conditioner. what, is it supposed to sit there? go on, use it. and then buy some more, because you can’t die until there is no more conditioner. i strictly forbid it.

16. that feeling of listening to a song that’s been stuck in your head all day

17. being able to talk about something you feel strongly about for as long as you want

18. finally starting a show you’ve been wanting to watch for a while

19. finishing that show you finally started watching

20. seeing someone do something stupid and being able to laugh at them

21. hearing a great song and falling in love with it

22. crying over something so beautiful that you cant handle it and who did what to deserve something like that

23. seeing someone’s absolutely perfect art on your dash

24. being in that confusing state of emotions somewhere between happy and nostalgic and just being able to cry, but it’s some weird form of good crying

25. making fun of/laughing at your past self

26. hearing something so great that it just,, shocks you and you forget how to move

27. shower thoughts

28. sighing at @dennys

29. stranger things season three

30. finally meeting a goal you’ve had for a really long time

31. your favorite song finally being released on itunes/spotify/whatever

32. hearing your favorite song for the first time

33. hearing your favorite song for the fifth time

34. hearing your favorite song for the hundredth time

35. hearing your favorite song for the first time in a while and it still being just as amazing

36. screaming internally because you just love something so mUCH

37. sitting alone on an afternoon in summer and enjoying the warm breeze

38. baby animals !!!

39. sleeping under the stars

40. watching a new movie and absolutely loving it

41. memorizing the soundtrack from said movie

42. hugging someone you haven’t seen in a really long time

43. taking some time for yourself

44. doing something and being proud of it because it actually looks good

45. gazing at the clouds and making funny shapes out of them

46. people who can play multiple instruments exist

47. constellations!!!!!!!!!

48. i mean yeah cuddling with your s/o is nice but,,, cuddling with your best friend???? is so great??????

49. iconic vines

50. fluffy pajama pants

51. my sixth period teacher loves you. she said so herself. i heard it.

52. you have a place in life

53. i love you

54. you MATTER

55. you’re absolutely wonderful

56. don’t turn back now

57. you deserve to stay alive here

58. i’m making suicide illegal, you can’t kill yourself its. illegal

59. tom holland

60. you’re beautiful

61. tom holland is a fucking trained ballet dancer

62. so is robert downey jr.

63. thats a nice thought to have

64. stupid jokes

65. so many other AMAZING people are going to be born, and you could meet them

66. chris pine singing spidey bells

67. just. chris pine

68. bagels

69. don’t die. eat cereal.

70. i took the time to come up with one hundred reasons. one hundred. thats. a lot. and i did it for you.

71. holding hands

72. platonically holding hands

73. people will be sad

74. they’ll cry

75. because they miss you

76. green day is still around

77. so is panic! at the disco

78. and fall out boy!

79. and most likely your favorite artist

80. i still have twenty more reasons why you shouldn’t kill yourself

81. self harm hurts

82. emotionally and mentally, probably not too much physically

83. you’re amazing

84. and very beautiful

85. thomas sanders (@thatsthat24)

86. whipping out an uno reverse card when someone’s an asshole

87. we still don’t know what happened in budapest

88. cards against humanity might buy tumblr

89. america sucks let’s all watch it burn

90. canada

91. we love you canada

92. phil lester (@amazingphil) is alive on this planet with us and that’s all that matters

93. let’s not forget dan howell (@danielhowell) is ALSO alive on this planet with us

94. do we deserve any of the wonderful people on this earth? no

95. but are they here anyways? yes

96. if you try to kill yourself i’ll break into your house and stop you

97. maybe not physically but i’ll be there in spirit

98. you know why? because i care

99. so many people care

100. and you’ve made it this far

[dukeofriven]

I feel you on criticisms on John. Dude certainly has his flaws and his relationship with other people, particularly Roxy, have clearly been unhealthy. But the guy have apparently been depressed for years, and he haven't actually ever had much experience with real life on person relationships. He got issues he needs to work on, but he is not a bad person.

It’s the rampant hypocrisy that’s eating at me. “Let they who are without sin cast the first stone” y’know? Roxy and John are the only survivors of Game Over - even given the trauma that everyone went through those two went through more. Even Rose, with her vague sense of her alt-self in a doomed timeline, experienced what it was like to fail on such a profound scale: and to know that your failure is the one which the alpha timeline was aiming for all along. Your utter failure was not only pre-ordained, it was requirement for existence to go as planned.Both Roxy and John experienced this, but Roxy got to move to a universe where her friends were still alive, and their formative experiences were identical: Roxy lived through, what, 24 hours that Dirk and Jake and John’s Hot Mom didn’t? Less? Dirk is still hurtling through space when John and Roxy arrive in Post-Retcon world, just as he was before Game Over broke bad. Roxy has to live with the horror of seeing her friends die - but her ‘replacement’ friends are functionally indistinguishable from the old ones. Which I’m not saying to be callous, but to contrast her with John. John moves to a universe where his sister shares almost none of his memories of years spent together on a golden ship, growing up together, bonding as closer friends, as siblings.We don’t talk about that enough, I think. Jade gets shafted in several ways in the final hours of Homestuck: she gets no chance to speak to John and say “you were dead” - to come to some kind of understanding, some beginning of healing. What must that be like, to meet someone - your own brother - who mostly knows a you you never were? John has all these memories of Jade and Jade has only a fraction of the memories of John.And for John there are those issues that he would have encountered anyway in the OG timeline had things gone well. His other close friends (heck, I’d argue he was closer to Dave and Rose pre-Sburb than he was to Jade; he calls Dave, at least, his best friend) had all spent years forming closer bonds with one-another and new people. In the OG timeline, had Game Over not happened and they’d won, John would still have had to bridge that gap of space and time: but he would have had his sister there for support, and companionship, and close bonds. The Jade he instead ends-up with is practically a stranger who spent three years mourning him (AND HER BOYFRIEND BIRDFRIEND WHO IS PART BOY (thanks @technicallynotanon for the reminder that retcon Jade didn’t date)) alone save for a bunch of none-too-bright animals and her ghost clown grandmother.It’s tragic - and to make it so much worse things seem to have been easy for everyone other than John. They all fell in to new things. Relationships, mostly: Dave and Karkat made room for Jade, Rose got married. Relationships tend to tax friendships: the singular I struggles to compete with the plural we. Only Terezi - with her endless capacity to understand the paths of mind - might have understood him: but she left, taking the blackrom crush with her as she did so.John was isolated. John was more isolated, more alone than any other person: even Callie, who had an intermission of eternity being dead, returned to a world full of friends who remembered her well, and she snagged a don’t-yet-have-the-label-for-it-partner in the process. She too had someone to turn to, and that someone was the only other person John shared his trauma with.Sometimes its hard to talk to people. Sometimes it is harder still when the shadow of a life-partner looms over everything.So John didn’t talk to Roxy. Why does that shock us? Why are we the least surprised? Why are we acting like his actions are so unconscionable? For all that they were so darn cute together that cuteness comprised a relation of several hours over which one of the top two greatest traumas of John Egbert’s life occurred.The other was the death of his father, who was murdered, and whose brutalized corpse John had to witness. A murder - as far as we know - that never had any closure. A murder - as he may have come to realize with some reflection - that occurred largely through the manipulations of the same troll girl his only other crush fucked-off to go find and be with.We keep minimizing John’s trauma. We keep not putting it into perspective. We do him such a disservice.We say, instead, that his not talking to Roxy - that brief surge of anger and shame that threatened to break through his crushing anhedonia, his envy of one person who found another when he did not - we say it is some appalling moral failure. I’m a depression sufferer with a life of regrets and an embarrassing number of long years full of singledom and opportunities that were missed accidentally, but just as often avoided on purpose because self-sabotage is a way of life for people like me.Self harm can be as simple a matter as seeing something you want and letting it slip away, watch it slip away, watch yourself watch it slip away knowing you could do something and then… just… not. And afterwards struggling to explain your actions to other people, and even to yourself: if only I’d… if I had just…why didn’t…?You let it happen because, deep-down, you know you don’t deserve it. The paths not taken, the paths heavy with bitterness, shame, self castigation - paths such as these I have in spades, and hearts, and clubs, and even diamonds.But I, of course, could NEVER see myself acting like John does, and I am sure that no one on Tumblr calling John a creeper has ever done something like it either. I am sure their reaction is born of pure and moral rectitude, and not fear and revulsion at seeing themselves reflected so completely in so unflattering a manner.Surely not they. Surely not I.John Egbert doesn’t need a reason to be depressed. Nobody does. But his depression is not solely an accident of brain chemistry: it is rooted in his sense of self, and his sense of self is a failure. He couldn’t save his dad. he couldn’t save his friends. He couldn’t win Sburb and he couldn’t build the universe he was allegedly destined to build. All of that happened only because Terezi knew how to use him: left to his own devices, nothing would ever have gone right. John couldn’t save anyone.Or so it must seem in the haunting privacy of his thoughts.John has lived with that failure circling around and around in his head since… oh, I’d say about thirty minutes after everything settled down on Earth-C, about an hour after the party ended and his friends went to their new homes and their new lives and he was alone for the first time with the things he had done and the things he failed to do. It probably started the moment he first noticed the silence of his house, the house that was essentially an exact replica of the house he had lived in on the very day his father was murdered and his litany of failures began. It probably began when he sat on the couch in that big empty house and stared at the door that his father was never, ever going to walk through and listened to deafening roar of being the only person there.That was when it started: with a hollow emptiness in the stomach. With a skull that every-so-slightly seemed to be pressing in on his brain, a feeling he’d never felt before. The sudden, sharp, jarring flashes of memory: his father’s body ripped eight ways to Sunday, Rose breathing her last in the dust of LOPAN, that awesome expanse of Skaia local alight with burning worlds and desecration. It began when the Heir of Breath found himself short of his own element for no reason at all, save that he simply found it hard to breathe, hard to make his body continue to breathe.He didn’t say anything at first.He made excuses.He didn’t want to bother people - told himself he was actually enjoying the alone time, enjoying having nothing to do after what felt like a lifetime of doing: although, really, the events of his life comprised little more than two sets of 24 hours spaced three years apart. And that bothered him too - “all things considered it’s not like you went off to war, John, and spent years away” he told himself. Retirement after two days of solid work? Most would kill for that. These and other good reasons not to say anything came and went: there was always a good reason not to say anything, and even those times when some semblance of human feeling  burned hot enough to produce genuine emotion he quickly suppressed it. It’s amazing how quickly depression is something you normalize, how quickly you find reason not to disturb it, to upset the status quo.By the time he realized even dimly that he should have said something to someone, anyone - about Roxy, or about that hollow feeling that now comprised his insides, about how nothing caused him joy or distress, that he could feel his youth rushing away from him in a torrent of time that he could do nothing to stop - it was too late. Perhaps it was always too late. This too, perhaps, was something that always had to happen.Perhaps.There is a moment at the end of Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead where Guildenstern, standing on the gallows, faced with his impending doom and the absurdity of his existence muses “There must have been a moment, at the beginning, where we could have said ‘no.’ But somehow we missed it.”Then he dies.That line echos with me. I suspect it echos with many people like me. That’s the worst part of depression: the sense that no matter how much your condition explains your past you are never free of the feeling that there was a moment you could have done something about it all - but you missed it. The moment was lost, and everything since has been one long, unending chain of payment for that mistake.John Egbert doesn’t need our pity, and nor do I mean to say that he is free of criticism. Our depression contextualizes our actions, but it does not excuse our frailties. John Egbert, however, deserves better than the disapprobation of sinners throwing stones.

[llzehs]

As a fan of these three, but most importantly as a fan of Dean Ambrose, this video is everything to me. To know the company Dean almost killed his body for doesn’t appreciate him, but his peers and brothers make sure Dean knows how much he’s loved and admired and respected for everything he has done for the locker room and the business just warms my heart so much. Seth and Roman’s love for Dean is out there. 

I firmly believe WWE had nothing to do with this. It was all Seth (& Roman). Two locker room leaders who realize they are losing the backbone of the company they have worked so hard to built their legacies around. I am so grateful for them always having Dean’s back.

The contrast between Roman and Seth’s relationship with Dean is beautiful. Roman’s clearly Dean’s best friend in real life, but Seth’s someone who loves and respects Dean SO MUCH for what they have shared in this business. The way he loves Roman and Dean both, you can easily see how genuine and sincere and grateful he is for their presence in his working place.

The absolute cuteness that is Roman and Dean’s friendship/bond 😭 You watch them, and you can easily tell how close they are. Dean’s an utter goofball. Watch at 4:36 mark, while Seth’s showering him with praises and saying how much he’s learned from Dean and how much he loves him Dean leans into Roman and Roman so attentively turns to him but then break into a hilarious set of laughter at whatever Dean said. Its like when it comes to Dean, Roman’s always like ‘omg why you gotta be like this, you are such a fool and I love your ridiculous ass so much’ 😂

Dean being the source of Roman’s constant smile, the way his eyes crinkle and the way he shakes his head in amusement and adoration...My heart just can’t take it. He loves Dean so much.

This video also soothes the ache and worry for Dean cuz Dean genuinely looks at peace with his decision. He seems so happy that he was able to work one last time with his brothers, and for someone who’s not big on using words, him being so expressive when it comes to how much he loves Roman and Seth is just beautiful and tells you what a sweet soul he really is.

Roman’s body language was depressing to be honest, but at the same time it looked like he chose to focus on celebrating his boy rather than dwelling on losing him. He knows Dean is happy, and that matters the most. You can tell through the whole video that was the vibe between Dean and Roman. 

This also showed to me that Dean’s extremely shy when it comes to expressing emotions in front of the world. Like, you can tell its not his thing to listen to someone tell him how amazing he is. He tries to turn focus back on Roman and Seth even when the moment was about him and its just so sweet and admirable cuz it just shows how down to earth he really is and how much he values the relationships and bonds he formed. 

The most important and admirable thing about Dean is that he’s such a positive human. He has so many things to be bitter about, but he’s simply grateful for fans and moving onto the next chapter of his life. He doesn’t hold grudges, he doesn’t complain, he never focuses on negativity even though he has ton of reasons to do so. This man is just a professional on a complete different level.

Seth’s ‘we gotta give my boy the send off he deserves’ and ‘I love you please would you come out here so I can tell you that to your face’ had me like 😭 😭 😭 And the way he smiled like ‘yes’ when Dean’s music hit like he half expected him not to come...I just can’t.

Dean looking an absolute piece of art in his new leather jacket, neat jeans and fancy watch and earing 🤤 Boy is leaving but he is glowed up to the fullest.

At 3:44 mark just before entering the ring when Dean’s perched up on the ropes, he points at both Roman and Seth and yells something. Which to me seemed like he was proudly claiming they were his boys/brothers which is cute as fuck if that was the case.

Dean being an utter cutie when he comes into the ring and after hugging Seth is raising his arm, once again trying to turn HIS moment into THEIRS. The smile on Seth’s face is so cute, and then he’s shaking his head and shrugging it off as like he’s implying ‘nah its bout you tonight’ which just makes me 😭

WWE never treated Dean as Seth or Roman’s equal, but here you have Seth giving all credit to Dean for his success. Roman has also talked about Dean in interviews like Dean’s the most important thing. Which is just like a slap in the face for WWE, cuz there’s your top guys, the faces of your company telling you even though you paid Dean dust, they see him as someone without whom they wouldn’t have happened anyways.

‘Please don’t go’ chant and Seth heartbreakingly saying he has already tried that and it didn’t work 😔 Also his voice broke when he started saying ‘that title wouldn’t be around my waist if it wasn’t for Dean Ambrose’.

Dean still avoiding addressing the exact subject of his departure. He’s a closed book, and only future will tell what’s really going on with him. But I get the vibe he’ll eventually be back in WWE.

For Dean nothing matters more than the bonds he formed with the Shield, his brothers being the best thing that ever happened to him. He gets the mic and that’s all he wants to talk about. Not him. Not his future. But his brothers and what they mean to him. He’s so unselfish and loyal, and you can tell he NEEDED this after WWE put him through emotional hell by making him use his best friend’s real life situation for storyline purposes. Dean loves wrestling, but money, titles, top spots, he was never here for that. So its fitting how he values the thing which gave him the most in this business, and that’s the bonds/relationships he got cuz of The Shield.

These three are super proud of being the work horses of WWE for these last 7 years. That’s what brings them even closer to each other. Same passion, same goals, and in the end what matters the most is how much they love each other outside of this business.

Dean’s so pure. Even if WWE never let him reach his true potential, he’s so damn proud of his brothers for getting there. No jealously. No bitterness. He’s just so proud like ‘yeah that’s my brothers you fuckers’ which is just beautiful.

Also Dean’s the goofy child of the group, cracking jokes and all. Seth and Ro are always shaking their heads, laughing and looking at him with hearteyes. It makes me so happy cuz after the life Dean lived, its so comforting to know he has people who love and admire him so much. And values him to the moon.

Dean’s ‘woofs’ omg how cute is he 😂

Seth and Dean being able to have their happy ending after the hell hole WWE put them both through. They deserve it after they were forced into doing something neither one of them wanted to do after losing their cornerstone in Roman. I am so happy they are here proclaiming their respect and love for each other and going out the way they deserved.

At 7:16 mark when Dean’s talking about fans making a building matter, you can see Seth’s face in the background and it looks like he’s crying 😔

Thank you Dean chants 😭 Finally some acknowledgment and respect from fans that he deserves so much. Roman and Seth making sure their boy got it. I love them so much for this.

At 8:00 mark when Dean’s done, Seth is raising his fist and his lips are trembling as he looks at Dean with this smile, then when Dean beckons them in the middle to do their fist bump, Roman just looks at him, trying to keep his composure but its pretty evident he’s crying too. That just broke my heart, cuz Seth and Roman are so damn sad and heartbroken, and even if they are trying to be supportive and celebrate their boy and wish him the best in future, they cannot help but be emotional cuz they won’t have him anymore which is fucking hard to deal with. Its bittersweet really. It makes me wish Dean would one day come back in the arms of two guys who loves and admire him the most. He belongs with them, and its so sad cuz of WWE’s constantly fuckery these three have to loose something so precious and special.

Right before the video ends Dean and Roman are leaning on the ropes side by side and Dean is laughing this full laugh at something Roman says and its so good to see him happy again specially with his best friend 😭

All in all, The Shield will live forever. I wish Dean the best in future. I am grateful he has people like Roman and Seth in his life. Specially Roman who’ll still remain being a very big part of his life.

[fanficimagery]

Imagine Enzo always being there to listen to anything you have to say, whenever you need him (Part 1 of 2).

Prompt courtesy of @obscure-imagines 

Enzo X Reader

Sitting at a park bench and staring up at the clock tower in town square, you can't help but contemplate life. Your left knee bounces rather rapidly for no apparent reason and you find yourself feeling rather downhearted.

"Well hello, Gorgeous." Glancing to your right, you see Enzo sauntering up. You smile and stand to briefly hug him, the both of you then sitting back on the bench as you shove your hands back into the pockets of your jacket. "Penny for your thoughts?"

"I'm not sure a vampire such as yourself is equipped for my lowly human problems, Handsome."

"I do love the pet name, darling." Enzo smirks and you chuckle. "But what are you doing out here all alone? Shouldn't you be with the scooby gang?"

You shrug. "I'm having a bit of an existential crisis."

"Really?" He drawls.

"Yeah." Heaving a sigh, you ask, "Do you really want to hear this? Or am I keeping you from scouring for dinner?"

"For you, Y/N, I've got all the time in the world."

"You really are trouble, Enzo St. John. I don't know how the ladies handle all that," you say while gesturing to his entire being. He merely laughs in return and settles in for the impending conversation. "So a while back, when we were at war with the Mikaelsons, I got trapped in a room with Caroline and Klaus. Skipping passed all the threats and violence, I ended up having a unique heart to heart with the Original Big Bad."

Enzo's right eyebrow quirks. "Truly?"

"Yep. We talked about my human status in a group of supernaturals. In a moment of weakness, I confessed how unhappy I was with my friends at the time." You pause to take a deep breath and then let it out in one harsh exhale. "Them being supernatural didn't bother me, but what did was how easily they could push aside people- pushed around Bonnie- when they needed their needs met. They didn't care who got hurt and in the long run, it was always me, Bonnie, Jeremy, or Matt."

"And what did the scary Original have to say about that?"

"He told me if I couldn't keep up, then maybe I needed an upgrade. He offered to turn me that night."

"You obviously refused."

"Barely," you quietly admit. "But that was a long time ago, so.."

Enzo shifts in his seat, turning towards you and you turn to face him. "So what brought this on tonight of all nights?"

Rolling your eyes, you glance back up the clock tower that's about to read 8:24P in just a few seconds. "I'm about to turn twenty right.. about.. now."

And without missing a beat, Enzo says, "Happy birthday, love."

You huff a brief laugh. "Thank you. But anyway, I got a package this morning from none other than Klaus Mikaelson himself. Apparently our heart-to-heart stuck with him after all these years."

"Oh? And what did the most dangerous man on Earth get you?" Pulling out one of your hands from your jacket pocket's warmth, you open your fist to show him what's sitting in the palm of your hand. "Is that a vial of blood?"

"Yep. Original blood. In a note, Klaus told me that should I ever change my mind he'd be proud to sire me even if he's not present for it." Enzo remains quiet and you quickly put the vial back in your pocket as you seek out his gaze. "Am I stupid for wanting this? For wanting to leave my meek human existence behind in favor of near immortality?"

Enzo takes a moment to ponder, his lips briefly pursing as he reaches in to move your hair behind your ear. "Y/N, this town is toxic. There is nothing wrong with wanting to become a little bit more sturdier, so if that means becoming a vampire then I am behind you one hundred percent."

"Really? You're not going to attempt to dissuade me? Especially since it's Original blood."

"It's your life, sweetheart. If it means using Original blood to reach your goal, then do it. Or if you want mine, I'll tap a vein for you right now." You snort and Enzo grins at you. "And once you become a creature of the night, we'll flee this ridiculous little town and the petty drama the Salvatore's keep finding. And that Gilbert girl. Ugh."

"Hey," you laugh. "Don't be harsh on Elena. She's a good person, she's just- she's.. Elena."

"And I'm just Enzo. So whatever you decide, I'm on your side. Lead a normal human life in Mystic Falls or join me on the dark side and travel the world?"

"Can you please not encourage her to go dark?" Someone suddenly muses. Glancing up, you bark a laugh when you see Bonnie standing there with a lone cupcake in hand and a single lit candle stuck in it. "Being a normal vampire is fine, just don't let her go out of control." Enzo huffs and Bonnie smirks at you. "Happy birthday, by the way."

"Thank you." You accept the cupcake, licking a bit of the frosting from the side. "How'd you know where to find me?"

"I might have performed a locator spell." Bonnie shrugs as if it were no big deal. "And I also got the most surprising phone call this afternoon from Klaus. He.. spilled the tea on a lot of things."

"Spilled the tea?"

Enzo's confused expression has you and Bonnie grinning. But instead of explaining, your friend goes on. "He told me what you thought about a long time ago and what you might have been contemplating tonight after he explained what he sent as a gift."

You groan. "He didn't."

"He did. He also asked me for a favor- a favor which I found myself accepting given it was for you."

"For me?" At Bonnie's nod, you then glance down when she reaches into her pocket and opens her fist to produce a very pretty lapis lazuli ring. Your eyes immediately tear up and your gaze darts up to your friend's face. "But you.. dislike vampires. After all they've put you and your family through-"

Bonnie gulps. "You are not them, Y/N. You won't be. At least you won't be with Enzo's guidance. Hopefully."

You shakily accept the ring from Bonnie before jumping up and hugging her, all without the lit candle going out on your cupcake. "I don't know how to thank you."

"You can thank me by never shutting off your emotions. No matter how much you're hurting, you feel it. You feel everything. Don't take the easy way out without having a fail safe in place that will bring your shining personality back."

"I'll do my best."

Enzo clears his throat. "We'll do our best, sweetheart. I'll be with you every step of the way."

As you and Bonnie pull apart, Bonnie grins at him. "I was hoping to hear you say that." She reaches back into her pocket, this time producing a masculine looking lapis lazuli ring. "Please don't make me regret this. If you're going to show a daywalker the ropes of being a vampire, then it only makes sense you're a daywalker too. And I totally give you permission to steal her ring if you think she's going off the deep end."

"Hey!"

Enzo blinks in surprise, he taking the ring as if it were something precious and delicate. "You're serious?"

"Yep."

A full smile blooms. "Bonnie Bennett, have I ever told you what a wonderful witch you are?"

"Sure, Enzo." Bonnie rolls her eyes, still smiling herself as she looks to you. "Whatever you decide, I am still your friend. But if you decide to turn, I suggest you leave Mystic Falls behind."

Your brow furrows. "What? But you just said-"

"I know what I said. But I also know our friends, Y/N. You're only still alive because you're human, but the second you become a vampire and more durable.. you become a capable fighter and expendable if it means protecting Elena."

You gape and Enzo sighs. "Well she's not wrong."

Taking a moment to collect your thoughts, you remember your cupcake in hand quickly blow out the candle before any more wax melts on your treat. Then, you ask, "What about you? I don't feel comfortable leaving you with all of them."

"I'm capable of looking after myself."

"I know you are, but still.."

"Go," Bonnie urges. "Live the life you truly want and send me a postcard at every new destination."

Your eyes tear up again as you throw yourself at Bonnie, she laughing as you squeeze her as tightly as you can. "You are the most amazing friend anyone can have, Bon. I won't forget this."

"Yeah, yeah. Now go with your vampire boy toy before everyone else finds you and makes you attend an impromptu birthday party." You pull back, eyes wide. "What?" She laughs.

"Vampire boy toy?"

"You and Enzo. You're totally a thing."

"We totally are not."

"You totally are. See? Not even Enzo is denying it."

You glance at Enzo and he shrugs before grinning. "She's not wro-"

"Just shut up." Letting go of Bonnie, you pocket your new ring before working on halving your birthday cupcake. Then offering her one piece, you jokingly cheers with them. "To a new beginning."

"To a happier life," she replies.

Once the cupcake is eaten you then reach into your pocket for the vial of blood. Uncorking it, you down it without second guessing yourself and walk back towards Enzo to loop your arm through his. "Ready to help me start this new life of mine?"

He grins. "Are you telling me I get the honor of snapping your neck?"

"Duh. Who else would I ask?"

Bonnie snorts, but her words, "You guys are weird. You deserve each other," go unheard.

"Sweetheart, it would be my genuine pleasure."

Glancing around to make sure no one is looking, Enzo only moves into action once Bonnie gives him the go ahead. Then between one blink and what was supposed to be the next, Enzo's hands grasp you around your chin and the back of your head. With a quick jerk of his hands, your world goes black.

[grass-skirt]

thanks for answering my fisk ask! i appreciate it. can you think of characters that are good examples for a well done sympathetic villain? aside from fma's scar

Your welcome! (And sorry to other folks who’ve sent asks that I haven’t answered yet, but sometimes it’s easier for me to think of how to answer some questions than others and again time and energy are very limited resources for me these days) (And here’s the link to the preceding ask on my thought for what constitutes a sympathetic villain, how Scar is one, and how Wilson Fisk is not) 

And let’s see here. If I had to think of some more well-done examples of sympathetic villains… 

Meruem from HxH: amazing example. As someone not human, born not just socially, but biologically, to be king with the massive power to back it up and no reference point for what it meant to care or have feelings for others. And yet, he met someone who could best him in one thing, one simple thing, and slowly fell in love with her and through her uncovered the humanity no one thought he had. (Not to mention, he was manipulated by Pouf who tried to stamp out the love he had learned to feel and set him back on the path of a heartless conqueror, so we can also feel sympathy for his character on that front as well) 

Tetsuo Shima from Akira: this is possibly a more (lowkey) controversial choice. Because yeah, he’s a 15-year old asshole who got psychic powers and became an even bigger asshole. But I feel like he’s an incredibly understandable character precisely because of that. To me, he’s an exploration of the effects that insecurity, powerlessness, poverty, and environmental instability can have on kids. Take a kid who feels miserable and doubts himself and isn’t supported by the society around him who wants desperately to be respected and in control and give him power… He couldn’t control his powers well, they caused him massive pain and made him fear what they would do to his mind and body. He could control through fear but he couldn’t control himself and that pain and uncertainty and fear never left him. One of the elements of a good sympathetic villain to me is that their choices make sense. And Tetsuo is a character whose choices were almost all bad, but IMO make sense from the sad, angry perspective of the view he had and the world around him. (Long ago I made a cool graphic about him) 

Jasper from SU: now here’s an actual potentially controversial choice. Steering clear of the whole Malachite discourse and just focusing more broadly on her character, she was a huge jerk who beat the snot out of people and seemed to relish in it. She was the biggest villain in SU for a good long while, and there was little reason to think of her as sympathetic. That is, until we found out that the reason she hated the Earth and the Crystal Gems and was so fixated on strength is because thousands of years ago the Crystal Gems murdered the person she most loved and adored and the person she was literally created to serve. Then we start being able to see how her villainous beliefs and actions were shaped by the culture and society of the Diamond Authority that doesn’t give it’s members much in the way of choice or freedom. And then we also find out that the person who Jasper’s very existence was for had faked her own death and everything Jasper believed for the past 5000 years was a lie. Again, she’s a villain whose horribleness can be seen as a result of the circumstances around her, and we can see that if she had been told the truth and given different opportunities she perhaps could have been someone good instead of eventually devolving into a literal monster. 

Eric Killmonger from Black Panther: he was someone who fought for a cause he believed him, and that was righteous and justified in his eyes. He grew up in poverty, his father was murdered, and he lived his life on the outside of a great society of wealth and equality, always aware of what they had but wouldn’t share with him or others who were also suffering. He looked at the imperialist, racist, oppressive actions of the world and thought, “Wakanda’s neutrality is acceptance of injustice. If the nation of my birth has the ability to reshape the world, punish the injustice of nations and societies, and give power to our oppressed people, we should do it.” T'challa’s view was that you can’t hurt and kill innocent people in the name of justice. Killmonger’s view was that harm, death, and suffering were constantly happening anyway, and that T’challa’s stance was accepting and tacitly endorsing this injustice. Again, his villainy came from a place of understandable suffering and genuine belief that fighting fire with fire was better than standing on the sidelines and simply watching the fire burn. 

And two final characters: 

Donquixote Doflamingo from One Piece gets an honorable mention. He could have been an amazing sympathetic villain, but for some reason Oda took a character who was born into a culture of ignorance, corruption, and greed, who lost everything and was tortured by angry mobs who blamed him for sins he hadn’t committed, who was then raised by a group of older boys and men who again groomed him and lead him down a road of villainy…. and then said, “Hey, this guy? Doflamingo? He was just born evil. Yeah, that’s it. He was born evil. So don’t worry so much about all the environmental stuff, because he was born evil anyway. Even his brother said so.” (Again, here’s a graphic and analysis I did on the subject for those who have forgotten) 

Lady Eboshi from Princess Mononoke. (I also wrote a big post about her and the overall movie and how great it is.) She isn’t a sympathetic villain. Not really. She is both ends of the moral spectrum simultaneously in every move she makes. She was a monster, a destroyer of gods, an environmentalist’s nightmare who burned nature in the name of industry. She was also a savior, a humanitarian, a veritable saint who took in the sick and the downtrodden of society and gave them respect, empowerment, and a home they were happy in. And all the while… we never actually know what she’s thinking. One could argue that she’s still a villain (rather than simply an antagonist), but the key point here is that she is not sympathetic. Does she help others because she cares, or because through helping them she ultimately benefits herself? We don’t know for sure. The story does not invite us into her internal world. She’s not a sympathetic villain because we’re never asked to sympathize with her. Instead, we’re asked to think of bigger ideas. We’re asked to take a look at the ways human society can benefit itself, advance equality, and lift up the powerless by using and destroying the natural world around us. Is it worth it? What are the unintended consequences of these actions? Can humans harm nature without inevitably also hurting ourselves? Lady Eboshi’s thoughts and feelings and true motivations don’t matter. We don’t know, and we can’t know, and at the end of the day does it matter either way? Even if she was calculated and selfish it wouldn’t change that she’s helping people, and even if she was motivated by love and compassion it also wouldn’t change the harm she’s done. She’s a representation of ideas, forces, and choices larger than herself. Those ideas are what’s important to the film, and they are explored without ever diving into the mind of Lady Eboshi herself because what the thinks and feels has no bearing on the consequences of her actions. 

A villain is someone who hurts others who do not deserve to be hurt. A person is sympathetic when we feel for them. Villainy is external. That person harms others, so we hate them. Sympathy is internal. We feel another’s pain, and understand the reasons for their choices, which includes the possibility that they never even had a choice at all. Lady Eboshi is so interesting to me because she is completely external. We are tasked with viewing and judging her based entirely on the consequences of her actions without factoring in what she thinks, what she feels, and why she’s doing it. We don’t have sympathy for her, rather we have sympathy for the people she helps regardless of whether Lady Eboshi is doing it out of kindness or doing it to benefit herself. 

It’s odd that I spent the most time in this ask about sympathetic villains talking about someone who I think isn’t one, but I think that it’s both helpful and interesting to dive into how a character can completely subvert and dodge the label of a sympathetic villain while still fully capturing their contradictory essence. We hate and condemn the actions of sympathetic villains while also understanding them, respecting the “why” behind what they do, and potentially even loving them. With Lady Eboshi, we’re not supposed to care about the why. We’re not supposed to care about her. While I do love her, that’s not the part that matters. Instead, that same contradictory dynamic takes the form of the audience loving who she she helps while also loving who/what she hurts in the process. The thing’s we’re supposed to care about are entirely outside her. 

I think that sympathetic villains are so interesting because they prompt us to think about why a person hurts others and see that something more than just innate evil is often there–that there are reasons why evil exists in villains’ hearts and that there are things that we can and should do about that. Whether it’s a character like Meruem who was “born” evil but learned to love and ultimately chose to embrace it, or a character like Scar who started out a decent young man who became a serial killer because of the genocide his people suffered. Either way,  through them we are given an exploration of evil that emphasizes heartfelt understanding–understanding the “why” of evil so that we can either heal it or address the circumstances of its creation in the first place. If a sympathetic villain is well written and well handled in their story, the audience should be able to learn about the sources of evil in the world and how it could be made a little better. 

[naizamayg]

forty-eight letters to the moon

Some say if you live in outer space you don’t grow old as fast as people do on earth. That’s why I want to send these letters to the moon, so these words, these feelings and these memories would hopefully last longer than our time on earth. Dear Joshua, thank you for being the most responsible/most concerned student in our class. We sometimes tease you about it but we actually really admire that about you. Not everyone can speak up for what’s right, not everyone is as brave as you. Dear Cj, you’ve changed a lot but I’m not saying it in a negative way. We all change and that’s just normal. You changed in some negative ways but in positive ways also. You still get mad easily (to others) but atleast you don’t get mad at me that easily now hahaha, but that’s who you are. That made you the CJ in our room. Hope to see that scowl on your face gone the next time we see each other in years time. I hope you find your peace within. Dear Kenneth, You’re probably one of the most creative person i’ve met. You can make anything from scrap into art. You make wonderful stories and films that is not just a classroom pride but a school wide pride. You make a lot of us laugh in a daily basis, though sometimes you go overboard but I’m cool with it since I’m not easily offended but remember, it might affect others. I don’t know anything about you besides this joke-generating-out-of-the-box-minded person you are. Someday I wish to know about who you really are because ik everyone is more than what they show in class. Dear Ronnie, The ever late secretary hahaha just kidding. You have an incredible way to express words you read and I was amazed by our readers’ theatre performance on how you stole the spotlight. You should try and apply as a radio broadcaster in your school next year and join orations or declamations. Don’t be afraid of the thought of losing or no one supporting you. I would always be there somewhere in the crowd cheering for you. Dear Laurence, You have a reputation of having cold heart in our room. IDK if this is just a front or this is just really you but sometimes in rare occasions I can feel that your heart warms up. That sometimes you laugh too hard, smile too wide and give too much and I notice it and I think that’s the better version of Laurence that everyone might not see but I see it and I hope you try and show that to other people more often. Dear Aaron, I’m not gonna live happily if I dont get this out of my chest, Aaron sorry. Talking about you behind your back, not believing some words you say and just being rude to you. You probably noticed by now, you’re a smart observer anyway but I also want to say that some of us think you’re sometimes too arrogant they’re not wrong tho but sometimes you are someone who is nice to talk to especially relating to anime we have some bad sides in us and you can’t help that people would think and talk about your bad sides and ik it sounds ugly but it’s the truth again I’m sorry if I ever hurt you in some way bc ik you have never hurt me. Dear Freidrich, The only thing that pops up in my head is LASHES. I lowkey wanna steal them lol. Anyway, you’re a really good and smart person I still can’t believe you perfected the individual quiz bee during high school day. Isa kang tunay na #nofear. Dear Karlos, I remember you as the quiet smart boy in the class back in elementary and you still are. I hope you speak up sometimes bc ik you have a lot of ideas and stories to tell but maybe I’m just not there in times you do tell them. You’re sometimes made fun of in your group of friends and not gonna lie, I sometimes laugh with them but idk if you get hurt when they do or not but if you do I’m sorry and I hope you tell them when they say too much and that you feel suffocated if they do that. Dear Daryll, You are such a comfortable person to be with that’s probably bc you’re a Sagittarius. You always smile when people get mad at you and I find that very funny yet admirable how can you be so strong to not even lose your smile when people downgrade you. I hope to see that smile again it’s such a refreshing image and I hope you never let anyone make you falter that smile. Dear Harvey, I wrote this after the mapeh periodic test and after knowing my results in research and idk why in those moments you were there??? Idk but yeah I didn’t review anything about mapeh but you helped me and when I was upset (even tho i was smiling shonga ko) bc of my grade in research you were brave enough to tell me you have a lower grade than me idk if it was to comfort me but thank you. Dear Emil, you are probably the most “friendly” person I have met but I’m not bothered of how touchy you get bc I honestly don’t care hahahaha. But it just shows that you’re a comfortable, nice companion. Dear Ryan, I honestly don’t know what to write to feel or to say or what kind of friendship we have. We fight about the most nonsensical things but also don’t hate each other. Sorry if sometimes I joke too much to the point (if ever) that i hurt you. It’s not intentional I promise. It’s just probably bc we have a clashing immature personalities. Dear Jonard, I only knew you for a year but I felt really close to you we both like haikyuu and volleyball so ig it wasn’t hard to approach you and you being my table mate was a plus. I miss being your table mate btw but it’s your decision to sit wherever you want hahaha. Dear johnroe, keep writing and writing you’re amazing really you’ve proven that writing is a form of art and I admire that just do what you love and surround yourself with positivity. Dear felmar, you are so talented, smart and kind you have a big heart and an open mind and thank you for being you. We need more people like you in the class to avoid fights and misunderstandings you’re really the Mr. President of the anti-bullying club Dear Whesley, you have a short temper probably shorter than me (get it?) And a selfish attitude (sometimes) but even tho you’re not the kindest person, I don’t think you deserve to be disrespected to the point of not cheking your papers on tests but I hope you don’t plot revenges. It would only grow hatred on you. Try to be nicer and thank you for teaching me how to play chess hahaha. Dear Timi, sometimes you’re too impractical and it ruins you but you have a good heart who desires to help others and I think that’s enough thank you for taking care of us Mr. President. Dear Yran, I was once a crybaby (still think I am even tho I rarely cry) but I know how wonderful it feels after crying after letting it all out and I just want to say just be a cry baby all you want. Don’t listen to what other people tell you or to what they will think about you. Let yourself cry let yourself feel, let yourself be human. Dear Darylle, you are 1/3 of a whole I admire your friendship with Precious and Karen and I seriously hope you guys won’t drift apart because in my perspective you guys are genuinely happy together. Dear Kryssha, I hope to be with you in a BTS concert someday hahaha. You’ll met them soon and you’re a really good dancer. You should try and show it more and don’t be shy. Dear Judee, you’re quite confusing but I like being confused anyway. Hehe idk you have this feel of weirdness that I actually think it’s normal bc you’re Judee. Though you’re sometimes shallow, I know you have a very deep mind and have great ideas. Dear Janae, I dont know how it ended and how we pretend it never happened but all I know is that thank you and sorry because I couldn’t be there when I know you would’ve been for me. Dear Buena, I’m still thankful for your blog and will always am it’s nice to know how other people see me hahaha. I want to hear you sing more and have more confidence. You’re unique in your own way. I just realized (bc of laurence’s blog) that you really have the same expression to everything hahaha. Dear Angelica, You’re so modest and nice i don’t know a lot about you but i hope you keep your smile always and penge naman height:(( Dear Karen, you are a 1/3 of a whole and a beautiful morena. Embrace your beauty and always keep your head up. Stay as a happy person with precious and darylle. Dear Julia, thank you for teaching me how to dance bboom bboom hahaha. You’re also a great dancer and have confidence also keep smiling with your cute pangil. Dear angelica, an innocent soul with a contagious laugh I don’t know your story. I don’t know your deepest secrets but i know you have them bc I was once you I still am someone waiting for life’s trick to break me down to pieces. Dear salve, look at the stars tonight, breathe in, breathe out. Watch some kdramas. Dream about something, anything. Imagine a life where happiness is limitless. You are so strong for holding on for this long and I want you to be stronger. I need you to be stronger, because one day you’ll look at the stars again, you’ll breathe in and breathe out again, you’ll watch some kdramas again and dream about something, anything again, but you won’t imagine a life where happiness is limitless because you will live it. Dear christelle, i still remember when we used to be bffs and I was really happy being your friend back then but idk what happened we just ended things but ik we ended it in a good terms sometimes being with someone for too long is tiring and I’m sorry if I didn’t hold your hand longer. I’ll always remember you and Kim as my first bffs B! F! F! Hahaha I hope you still remember this chant we had. Dear Kristel, sorry if sometimes I’m too rude or if you feel I neglect you. I don’t hate you , I actually like you but whenever you approach me, I would either be in a bad mood or hungry hahahaha, so I kinda get annoyed at times but you still smile at me whenever I do and I feel really bad. I hope you reach your dreams of being a fashion designer and your love life would be prosperous (oyiiiiiii~~~) Dear jeanelle, you are probably the nicest person i’ve met. I know you have struggles and problems of your own but you always kept quiet about it so you won’t worry anyone but I hope you do tell about them because it’s bad to bottle it all inside. Thank you for being my seat (cheat) mate hahaha and sorry if I ever gave you a wrong answer in a test hahaha. Dear editha, a kind and strong heart you have. I like how you stand up for yourself and how you stand up for others thank you for being a reason for me to be stronger. I really want to have a heart like yours. Micah, I think you’re more chill than me. You go to school just when you feel like it but still have high grades isa kang #nofear pt.2 hahaha I hope you hold on salve’s hand a little bit longer she needs you and if you ever need someone i’ll always offer my hand. Nina, i know how it feels when you think you’re worth less than someone just because of your weight but I never thought that you were any less than anyone then and now. I admire your determination to lose weight but you’re beautiful in any form though your words come of harsh ik you just want the best for them but please keep in mind that karissa may have this reputation of being a strong kalog girl she’s also so fragile. Karissa, hey little sunshine. Hold up, okay? I know no one knows and that no one blinks an eye just because you aren’t showing it or you aren’t suffering as much to the pint of falling to this endless pit but it’s not like that you don’t have to be collapsing for people to notice and to give a hand. They should’ve come closer to hear what you’re saying not for you to repeat and change what you said. Kath, I want you to be kath. I want you to not be compared to your brother. I know how hard it is to have a big brother. Parents will always think of them first and tbh who cares about what they think do things for yourself okay and loosen up a bit and smile more. Shany, you’re so hung up with this guy which I always tell you, he’s not good for you but maybe it’s your happiness waiting for him for so long to chat you back. That maybe he is your happiness so I’m sorry for being insensitive that time I just want to say to think of yourself first and to choose what would make you happier we’re still young there’s still so many faces to meet, hearts to connect and smiles to smile with. Kezia, i know how you want to change the way you look but I honestly think you look fine. I respect how you think about yourself but I just want you to know that whatever you look like it’s the best version of you. Ayra, you have this aura around you that makes me feel at ease. I just know that whatever I say you wouldn’t judge me and you know my kind of humor so I’m happy joking around with you. Thank you for everything. Precious, you are a 1/3 of a whole I find it so funny how you darylle and karen bicker hahaha. I hope you guys always stay together and I hope you will always have that smile in your face. Jemarie, I really like how you draw. You’re an amazing artist tho I’m sad that you wouldn’t pursue it in the future, being a doctor who saves lives is good too. Thank you for all the answers you shared hahaha Katreena, you are such a kind innocent soul that whenever I see you down or upset it makes me sad too. Thank you for opening up to me and telling me your problems that time. Thank you for trusting me enough to ask me what decision you would make and that is to be happy. I hope you’re finally happy and will always be. Joanna, thank you for making me look tall hahaha. Just kidding you’re so cute whenever you dress up and i find your fashion sense really good. Andrew, I have been your classmate for so long to know your capabilities. It is very clear that you are smart person and you never smile at pictures to make it seem like you’re not emotional at all. You’re the one who is most affected about our moving up and I know you are concerned about your weight too and it’s completely okay to feel these things. No one will judge you, but remember to still take care of yourself. Saka wag mo nang i-break si ABCD, kawawa naman. Dear sam, thank you really I’m so thankful for you. You were such a huge twist of fate for me. When I first sat beside you I thought you hated me because i got promoted. But then when you talked to me we just suddenly clicked and was transported to a world where only the two of us exist. You once told me I was a person who doesn’t stay and I know that because i never had a strong grip on anything and I’m a very clueless, insensitive, shallow-hearted person yet you’re the only one who saw it (and maybe abcd too) and thank you for knowing who the real me is. Sorry because i won’t stay and that it might look like i’ll just forget about it but I won’t, I promise so don’t be surprised when one day at 3 am I text/chat you about random things or about my dream last night. Dear grace, I’m sorry at times that I “bully” you just for a laugh, it seems as though you are unaffected which sometimes makes me have the urge to make fun of you sometimes. But you are probably one of the most self-conscious people I know, and whenever you are told that what you’re doing is negative, you stop doing the thing entirely. But thank you for still understanding me and supporting me and accompanying me when the Hi-Y club advisers asks me to go to the library. Sorry if you always do or give things to me but I would sometimes not reciprocate it. Sorry for being the receiving end. I’m so thankful to you. You’re a part of who I am right now and who I will be. I hope someday we’ll be both able to sleep with peace, knowing our moms are sleeping and will wake up tomorrow and if things wont go in our way, I’ll always be there okay? and I hope you are too because I would really need you if it does happen. ps. One day, i’ll pay you back for all my utangs, kahit nasa ULST na ako at may chance akong tumakas. Dear Abcd, Thank you for everything. You will always be the first one i’ll talk to whenever I find something funny. You’ve influenced me so much. I became matured, more responsible and idk if you know this but I stopped crying because of you. I’m not saying it in a negative way hahaha what I mean is you made me stronger and unconsciously gave me a rope to help me climb. You didn’t gave me your hand because you wanted me to do it myself, because that’s the most important thing in everything. Always do things yourself for yourself. You taught me this so now that you’re the one who is drowning I honestly don’t know what to do. I’m always this clueless whenever it’s not about me. But please promise me, please promise yourself that you’ll swim as hard as the currents hit you and you’ll someday meet me in the shore. We all don’t know what we want or what to do don’t pressure yourself. We’re all as confused as you. Let’s all be lost while we are young. ps. Be happy :) Dear Naiza, I hope you would stop being so difficult and stop being so half hearted to everything. To studies, to your friends, to your family and to yourself. You don’t like to admit it but you’re so selfish and sometimes insensitive. You only show this version of you that would look great. The version of you who is always happy, who doesn’t have any problems. You even cover up your problems by saying positive things about your life. You’re the biggest liar I know. I wish you would also stop getting annoyed easily and being too dependent. Stop acting like you care when you honestly don’t, but you know you have to care because you have to be a good person right? but you’re not. It’s really scary how different you are from school, at home, at the internet or at your bed during 3 am. At school you’re this out going person, at home you’re this ignorant person who doesn’t know what her family feels, at the internet you’re so bitchy and rude, at 3 am you’re the most vulnerable person anyone can be. Someday I hope you find who you really are because i’m done with you lying.

[stunudo]

Deliverance

A Criminal Minds Fan-fiction

Featuring: Luke Alvez x Spencer Reid                 Setting: After Season 12

Requested by: Anonymous

“Omg I am going to request a ralvez one shot because there is not (and never will be) enough ralvez in this world. So could you do one where they finally admit their feelings for each other (post-reid jail time) and Luke admits that he's never been with a guy before and he is nervous??? Please and thank you!! <3″ 

A/N: Thank you for your request! I am tagging it for @reidbyers Ralvez week. I am sorry it took so long, but I, huh, really need to watch season 12. (Because I spend too much time online and can only watch the show when my kids are asleep.) I love this ship so much! I hope you like it. xoxo Stu    

Warnings: Grief, angst, talk of sex acts

Spencer felt like he had been asleep for months. In truth it was twenty seven hours and fourteen minutes since he last glanced at the bedside clock in the safe-house Emily had placed he and his mother in. The thought of his mother and her safety sent that familiar panic through his lean frame. He found her seated at the kitchen table, reading contently. The relief flooded through him and he sighed when the nurse caught his eye, smiling in her quiet understanding.

It was as if the past months locked away were just a nightmare he had to overcome; wakefulness had found him with his freedom. He had missed much more than just his mother and her abduction. He had missed cases and setbacks, profiles and small victories. He had missed his team. Although his thoughts had been on one team member more than the others. Something that he hadn’t expected especially when Luke first began aiding the BAU.

Luke hated this part of the job the most. The delivery of earth-shattering news to the family members of his fallen brothers. Emily had insisted on meeting the Walkers at the hospital instead of going home. Luke wouldn’t let her do that on her own. Every one of them were exhausted to the point of numbness. In this storm of emotions his years of training kicked in and he persevered.

The natural smile far from his lips as he stood alongside his chief as the truth destroyed Stephen’s family. How much more loss was he going to have to bring to loved ones? Was catching the unsubs and fugitives making any difference? It didn’t feel like it on nights like these.

The day of the funeral was the next time Spencer saw any of his teammates, besides JJ. She had come over with the boys to visit once Spencer and Diana were resettled at home. Diana loved those boys. Spencer was amazed at how much they had grown since, well, everything. Henry was calculated with his questions for Uncle Spencer, JJ was on guard about any topic too personal. Spencer appreciated his godson’s curiosity and insight. He answered him honestly, because Spencer valued Henry’s trust.

Diana didn’t notice Spencer getting dressed in a full suit. She didn’t notice him shaving or saying goodbye. Spencer took the train into the city and found his way to the cemetery alone. Garcia saw him first and she maneuvered mechanically around the chairs and rows of strangers. She scooped the tall genius into a tight hug.

“You cleaned up nice,” She whispered breathy.

Spencer’s mouth grimaced and he nodded his head to the side. “Thanks, uh, you too.”

“Oh pish,” She waved off the compliment with her clutch in hand. “Come on, our family is all over here.”

Spencer followed Penelope to the two rows the BAU team was occupying. JJ and Emily both hugged him as Rossi patted him on the back. Luke and Tara held back sharing concerned welcome. Spencer didn’t know what to say to Walker’s family, so he sat down and kept quiet. Something he had become used to doing over the past months in prison. The service reflected a talented and dedicated father; a man who deserved more years than he was given. Spencer grieved for the family, a family who wouldn’t be in this situation if he hadn’t been incredibly reckless all those months ago.

Luke had been going over the words and sentences in his head for months. He had guessed every possible reaction that Spencer would have, except this. Spencer sat beside him in the passenger seat in complete and utter silence. Luke wasn’t sure if he had spoken aloud. Had he? Had he meant to? It was not the best timing. But after months apart, the twenty minutes in the car together was the most genuine comfort he could have dreamed of, especially after the funeral.

Luke cleared his throat and tried to look Spencer in the eyes. “Reid? Did you hear me?”

Spencer’s hands were placed flat on to his thighs, they began to sweat so he brushed them on his suit pants absentmindedly.

“Do you mean it?” Spencer’s voice was barely audible. He let the words sink in and then he met Luke’s dark eyes in earnest. Luke’s throat had gone dry, he swallowed.

“I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t.” Luke leaned toward the taller man, not sure of what to do. Hands itching to comfort him, to solidify his confession. “I’m in love with you.”

Spencer’s brown eyes were on the cusp of tears, his lips pursed and scrunched in concentration. He inhaled, “I’ve wanted this for so long, Luke.” A shy smile curling his pink lips. “But I’m not the man you knew. I have done things and hurt people. People that didn’t deserve it.”

Luke gave up the internal debate and placed his strong left hand on Spencer’s forearm. He raised his right thumb and brushed a streak of saline from Spencer’s pristine cheekbone. “We have all been through a lot since you’ve been gone. I just want the chance to get to know each other again. As more than teammates.”

Spencer bent his face into Luke’s soothing palm, closing his eyes to revel in the skin to skin contact. Affection that had been missing from his life for too long. “Even if I am still navigating towards the new me?” His voice cracked.

Luke didn’t answer, instead he crossed the distance to Spencer, sealing all of their hope and longing in a whisper of a kiss. He touched his forehead to Spencer’s, staring into his very being, “Even then.”

One month later

“What are your plans for the weekend?” Lewis kicked her long legs on the seat facing her and Luke. The case was over, unfortunately the unsub killed himself before they could arrest him.

“Well, there’s this film festival I read about...” Luke checked to see where Spencer was sleeping on the jet, to ensure the conversation was private. “I know he likes foreign films, but I kind of want to surprise him.”

Tara shook her head and patted Luke’s knee.

“What?!”

“You’re trying to surprise a profiler who has a photographic memory?” Lewis chuckled softly. “I’m sure you’ll have fun, but don’t bank on the surprise part.”

The next afternoon Luke and Roxie returned after their run through the park. They were both panting from the exercise, though still excitable. When they got home, Roxie made a weird noise and started pawing at the door.

“What is it, girl? That thirsty?” Luke teased and unlocked the door to his home. Roxie bolted in and jumped up on Spencer who was waiting patiently inside. Spencer and Roxie had formed a surprising relationship since Spencer and Luke started dating. The skittish genius had warmed up to Luke’s dog, he assumed it was because he was able to trust her and hoped she understood they both cared about her human. She tolerated him because he smelled nice and made her human relax.

Luke’s face was alight, “What are you doing here?” Luke walked up to Spencer and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. “Wait, how did you even get in here?” Luke’s eye brows raised. Spencer shrugged, smirking while scratching Roxie’s ears.

“Mrs. Hermann likes me.”

Luke rolled his eyes, “That’s because you flirt with her. Any others of my elderly neighbors I have to worry about?”

Spencer liked when Luke was jealous, but he didn’t want it to be drawn out. Roxie left them alone to find her water dish, Spencer slid his arms around Luke’s waist. “So? Have any plans tonight?” His light brown eyes rich with mischief.

“Not anymore.” Luke gave Spencer another quick kiss. “But, let me shower? I am all sweaty.”

“Yes, I can see that.” Spencer appraised Luke’s form fitting tee shirt and basketball shorts.

“Stop, I’m gross.” Luke teased, squeezing Spencer’s side playfully. “Just give me ten minutes.”

After a deeper kiss and a sigh, Spencer released his boyfriend. “No rush, the first showing isn’t until eight anyway.” He called as Luke headed to the bathroom. Luke shook his head, of course Spencer had figured it out on his own.

There was a gay couple in one of the films! It was annoying how pleasantly surprised Luke felt when he saw them. It was something he wouldn’t have noticed until a talkative genius captured his attention. Luke had never been with a man before, in fact he had never thought he would be in a relationship with one at all. Perhaps it was his overly strict Catholic family or his own insecurities regarding his sexuality. He had “passed” as straight for so long he didn’t think he needed to explore that part of himself.

Until he fell in love with his old partner, he wasn’t even sure he was queer. The despair and uncertainty that came with his death had pushed Luke’s heart back inside his internal closet. And then he teamed up with the BAU. Spencer’s intense mind and deep soul encompassed Luke’s heart faster than anyone had before. Being a bisexual in hiding meant Luke was not versed in determining that the twinkle in Spencer’s eyes was only for him.

Spencer, meanwhile, had become overly comfortable with his solitary lifestyle. After losing Maeve he didn’t think he would ever want or find romantic love again. As a man of science, he never had any concern over the physical of those he became emotionally attached to. Certainly not concerning anything as arbitrary as genitalia or societal expectations. Spencer Reid valued people as a whole, not a collection of body parts. Luke Alvez was wholly beautiful, internally and externally.

There the budding couple sat in the dark in the center aisle of the half-crowded movie house. The subtitles giving Luke the hints to Spencer’s engagement with the confrontation upon the screen. Suddenly the tension froze as one of the men fiercely kissed the other actor. The scenes flashed forward with brief glimpses of the passion unfolding, kisses and hands, one man performing oral sex on the other. Then the following morning and the men snuggling in the easy morning light. It was breathtaking. The rush Luke felt throughout his body twisted in his stomach. Emotion rolling within; desire, embarrassment, awe, hope and insecurity. He was going to have to tell Spencer his secret. But how?

Spencer’s aversion to physical contact was only for those he didn’t trust and strangers. He was not into public displays of affection because he hated to be seen as a target for bullies. Luke was not ready for anyone but the team knowing about their relationship so he was also content with walking with his hands to himself back to his truck.

“That was not the first film by Bisogni that I have seen, but his style has evolved since the last one.” Spencer had one hand in his pocket and the other aiding in his descriptions. Luke listening intently, unlocking the passenger door and holding it open for Spencer to duck inside the truck. Spencer smiled to himself at the sweetness of the gesture, he watched Luke walk around the front and into the driver’s seat.

His smile came easily, but the words were a rush. “Did you know that the glans of the penis has roughly four thousand nerve endings?”

Luke was used to his boyfriend being full of facts, but he wasn’t used to sex facts out of context. Spencer continued, “And by the age of fifteen nearly 100% of males have masturbated to the point of orgasm.”

“Okay, Spencer, where is this going?” Luke started the engine, not looking at his boyfriend.

“Physically pleasing oneself is beneficial for being able to communicate how a lover may best please you. Statistically, you know how to bring yourself to orgasm, Luke.” Spencer’s voice softened. “Being intimate with a man is a lot easier than society wants us to believe. Anatomically, we already know what pleases us, so we have a basis for our journey together.”

Luke slammed the gear shift back into Park. Spencer had profiled his inexperience and hesitation from that two minute love scene in the show. He dropped his head to the steering wheel and exhaled a groan of embarrassment. Spencer leaned over to stroke Luke’s curls, “Please don’t hide from me. Tell me what’s going on in that mind of yours.”

Luke smiled, it was usually him wondering what Spencer’s brain was processing. “I, um, have never been with a man, Spencer. Which, I take you know?” Spencer nodded and pursed his lips. Luke continued, “Are you going to leave me if I, can’t, if I’m not ready? Spencer, I don’t want to be bad at this.”

Spencer understood, completely. He always had the facts and research to back up his endeavors, but with Luke, things came easier, born of instinct. The idea that he wouldn’t be adequate hadn’t even crossed Spencer’s mind, because it was something they would be figuring out together. “You won’t be bad, baby. You’ll be new at it. This isn’t a test, its a way for us to become closer in every sense of the phrase.” Spencer’s mouth quirked mischievously. “We don’t have to figure anything out tonight. Just know that I would love to wake up next to you, if you want to spend the night.”

Luke nodded, sighing as his body released the tension that had been building. He wasn’t ready for all night love making, but perhaps spending the night would be a good starting point for their intimacy. Luke drove home to check on Roxie and grab some essentials.

“Are you sure about this?” Spencer asked quietly.

Luke nodded. “I’ve wanted you for so long, Spence. Are you? I don’t want to confuse your mom.” He entwined his hand in his boyfriend’s, gently kissing it.

Spencer shook his head and stroked Luke’s hand with his thumb. “Mom will be fine. Let’s get to bed already.” They kissed softly in the late night air as the vehicle’s engine roared to life. They had found each other in the hopelessness; together saving themselves.

@imagicana @gubl-oser

[squillynerdsout]

Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut (Review)

Spoiler alert I guess, but this cut has been out for a while and it’s not too hard to find.

This movie really left me conflicted. The first half is incredible, up to that point I was thinking this was one of the best superhero movies I had ever seen. The acting was great, the dialogue was witty and genuinely funny when it wanted to be, and the villains were threatening (the scene where Zod makes the president kneel to him really sticks out as a powerful moment). The second half, however, does not measure up.

Starting with the really good parts, a surprise to me was how great of a character Lois Lane was, she’s not just the damsel in distress like I expected from a superhero movie of the time. She was confident, capable, and even manages to outsmart Superman as she tries to prove that he and Clark Kent are the same person. Not to mention the amazing performance from Margot Kidder, who makes Lois such an instantly likable part of the film, and easily my favorite character. For all the shortcomings this movie has, she was consistently great in every scene she was in.

Now onto the plot. I’ll cover the first half quickly since I just really enjoyed it and have very few problems with it. The rest of the movie is gonna take a while, though.

The movie starts back on Krypton as General Zod, Non, and Ursa are unanimously convicted by Jor-El and several judge faces on TV screens that I guess were too good to show up in person. Fast forward to many years later, and a redirected missile frees the intergalactic prisoners and they land on the moon, where they kill some astronauts before making their way to Earth. Meanwhile, Lex Luthor breaks out of prison in the most comedic sequence in the movie, and one of my favorite parts. As the Kryptonians quickly rise to power, Lex tracks them down and offers information about Jor-El’s son in exchange for increasing amounts of land as he helps them more.

While all of that is unfolding, Lois Lane starts to suspect that her cowardly loser of a coworker is also the most powerful man on the planet. After testing her theory in another one of the movie’s funniest scenes, Lois and Clark are put on an assignment in Niagara Falls, posing as a newlywed couple while writing an article. Lois is a huge motivator for Superman throughout the movie, as he falls in love with her while trying to keep his secret identity and wanting her to feel the same way about Clark Kent as she does about Superman. Eventually, feelings are reciprocated, Lois tricks Clark into revealing his double identity to her, and then...

The second half happens.

Clark explains to Holo-Dad that he’s in love with Lois and feels that he deserves some happiness after saving the world from Lex Luthor in the first movie. Jor-El basically tells him he’s a selfish little bitch and that if he wants to be with a human so badly, he’ll have to give up all of his power and become one. He goes ahead and does it, and immediately gets the shit beaten out of him by the local hot dog restaurant bully. Right after that, he sees Zod on TV, saying he wants to kill Superman. He then reveals to Lois that he heard the Kryptonians’ reign of terror developing before he decided to give up his power, but he chose to ignore it so he could be with her.

I get the power of love and whatever, but there’s no way Superman would be aware that three supervillains with all of his powers have come to Earth and obviously plan to destroy it, and then decide to ignore it. He should know better than anyone that no military on the planet is capable of killing 3 Supermen, and the only person smart enough to stand a chance is on their side. Could he really not wait, like, 2 days to make his big commitment to Lois and retire?

Anyway, Superman pleads with Holo-Dad until he gets his powers back and eventually meets up with the villains, and there’s a big explosion-filled battle in Times Square because someone forgot to spread the product placement throughout the movie (the Coca-Cola plugs I didn’t mind too much, but the Marlboro ads just left a bad taste in my mouth, no pun intended. It’s a family-friendly movie about Superman and they’re promoting cigarettes? Really?).

I won’t go on too much about the special effects because it’s a 38 year old movie so of course it hasn’t aged perfectly. Some of the effects actually hold up pretty well, but there are some real stinkers in the Times Square scene especially; the green screening for the villains is particularly laughable. When Superman flies, it still looks believable enough that he’s flying, but Zod and the others just flail around like Pumaman and it looks really bad.

After the Times Square fight, the major characters all have a final confrontation at the Fortress of Solitude, and Superman uses a pretty clever plan to beat them, inverting the machine that took his powers away to instead remove the powers of the Kryptonians outside the chamber and shielding himself inside. It’s a cool idea but then the movie just completely falls apart for me. No, the way he beats them is not as dumb as throwing a big cellophane “S” like he does in the theatrical cut, but it’s still very anticlimactic.

Believing that Superman has once again stripped himself of his abilities, Zod commands him to kneel, take his hand, and swear an oath of surrender. In admittedly a pretty cool moment, Superman crushes his hand when he takes it and throws him into the conveniently placed bottomless pit. In attempt to avenge Zod, Non tries to fly at Superman and kill him, but hasn’t seemed to realize why Zod was so easily defeated. He lunges forward, but since he can’t fly, he just falls to his death in the same pit and it’s a really goofy way for his character to go out. Ursa finally realizes what happened, and then Lois kills her by, well, take a wild guess.

And so, with the Kryptonians defeated and Lex Luthor...somewhere (not still inside the Fortress of Solitude, I hope, since Superman destroys the place with his heat vision. He does weirdly disappear after the Kryptonians die in the Donner cut with no explanation though), Lois and Clark have a heartfelt moment as Superman chooses to sacrifice his relationship to continue being the protector Earth needs. It’s a bit of a downer ending, but I liked how the movie shows Superman accepting the responsibilities of his role and moving forward.

So yeah, the third act kind of lost me at points, but at least it redeemed itself in the end-- OH GOD NO WAIT

Yep, in its last moments, Superman once again turns back the clock to prevent the entire movie from happening. It reminded me of the end of Deadpool 2 when Wade is given the time travel device, and instead of doing anything meaningful with it, he goes back in time to kill Ryan Reynolds twice and save only a single member of his X-Force, although I guess in this movie it’s a little more meaningful, and not fourth wall breaking.

Superman’s plan is to go back to right before Lois became suspicious of Clark being the big blue boy scout and makes a foolish pushover of himself. Then he goes back to the hot dog bully, this time with superpowers, and beats him up. I guess he also prevents Zod, Non, and Ursa from escaping the Phantom Zone, but I just watched the movie and I can’t recall them making as big of a deal out of that as they did with beating up the hot dog bully.

These last few minutes are almost enough to destroy the entire experience of the movie, with an ending no better than if Clark woke up in a cold sweat and realized it was only a dream.

I’ve never actually seen the original cut, but now I’m even more interested in seeing what changes it made to the movie and if its ending was any better. Sorry this was such a long post, this is an interesting movie and I really wanted to talk about it.