#anyway the American Dream sucks

[theplaceyoustillrememberdreaming]

.

[imsodishy]

I have such a scene in my head and nothing to do with it so...

Post Starcourt Billy is a mess, and one night when he’s drunk Max's is like, "He absolutely cannot come home like this. It will go very very badly." and she’s really done with letting bad things happen to Billy.

And the only person available for her to turn to for help at that particular moment is Nancy.

And Nancy doesn't really want a drunk Billy Hargrove in her house, but he did basically fucking die for them, and Max is not above banging that drum very loudly. So yes, fine, he can sleep it off on their couch.

But they're not that quiet sneaking him in and they wake her mom up. Karen is, of course, shitting a fucking brick. Because there's her dirty little secret standing (swaying) in the middle of her perfect suburban life, picking through their music collection.

Nancy tries to smooth it over (she is also not above leaning on the 'almost died' angle, though Karen of course thinks it was in the mall fire). Karen says, "I just don't think it's a good idea."

Billy snorts, asks, "Why, is your husband home?" and drops the needle on Does Your Mother Know by ABBA.

[gorillaxyz]

i havent frawn in ages and school is stressing me out 😞 i open cas for an hour anf close thr sims without even playing...

[atopvisenyashill]

how goes ADWD?

bad aldsjflkdsj

idk if i'm like, burned out on asoiaf (i can't be, i talk about it all the fucking time i still get excited lol) or if it's like "oh god i'm so close to the ending and then that's it and we're never getting twow" or if i really am anxious about some of the later plot points - because like, i wasn't as nervous to read theon's chapters where he lets his men rape the women on the shoreline, or rapes kya, and i think part of that is it's a lot more vague? because theon is trying really hard to not think about what it is he's doing. whereas that block i had with the red wedding, and now i think with the tyrion chapter where he rapes the sunset girl, tyrion is Very Aware of what's happening because he's purposefully and actively taking steps Down The Wrong Path because he's testing himself, trying to see if he has the stomach to be a villain, to really accept that he is ~the monster they think he is~ so he's very aware that what he is doing is rape, and it's right there in your face. but i'm unsure if this is the block, it just seems like the most likely culprit? - but anyways i've been reading stuff just not a dance with dragons.

i did read a few jon snow chapters so i'm moving along a little bit? but i devoured this non fiction book called "no beast so fierce" which was about man eating tigers, i've been getting pretty consistently through "iron, fire and blood" as well as "madhouse at the end of the earth" which is another non fiction book (about a journey through the northern passage that went bad, as most did, and as someone with a phobia of dying at sea/drowning, i have an equal fascination with stories about people dying at sea because idk i'm a masochist and i've read/watched a lot about sea voyages gone terribly wrong, but i hadn't read about this one! i'm excited!) (i'm not being overdramatic about the phobia either, i had a panic attack while watching life of pi and the terror but good god was it so worth it!! humans vs extreme elements stories are fascinating to me as someone who would die instantly because of my disabilities!!!) and i speed-reread the queen of the damned and the vampire armand and the daniel molloy bits of...i think it was prince lestat, is the one where he's still with marius and trying to get marius to let him go out and flirt with armand lol, so i am reading a bit more (not as much as before) I'm just not reading adwd!

sucks because everytime i pick it up, i'm having a great time!! i love jon's story at the wall as lord commander, i love the horror fantasy of bran's chapters, i fucking love the meereenese knot, and i'm excited to get to all the aegon vi stuff to more solidly solidify my opinion there on whether he's a blackfyre or not and how that theory would even work (because every time someone is like "well they got sold into slavery" i'm like please be serious alsdjf), and i know basically everyone i follow/am moots with hate barristan but i love that useless old man so much!!!! but everytime i try to read my brain goes bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZzzzzzz like a bug getting zapped by a light.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

UPDATE What's up, it's the proposal guy. You said you wanted to know how this turned out, so I figured I'd tell you. First some context though, because I'm mean and I wanna keep you in suspense longer.

1- I don't wanna doxx us so I'm not telling you where we live, but suffice to say, neither of us are American, and gay marriage has been legal here for less than five years. For both of us, this is the first relationship we've had where marriage was even an OPTION, and I think that's where we've been getting some of that whole 'this has to be a REAL proposal with EVERYTHING' idea.

2- I gotta figure out how to explain this properly. So, I'm pretty used to being the GUY guy in relationships? I was always the one who did the nice gestures, not the one they got done for. Before I met my dream guy, I didn't really notice or care that it was such a thing, I just assumed that's how shit worked. Also, I promised I wouldn't talk a lot about his stuff here, but his last boyfriend before me SUCKED. Anyway point here is, it turns out we both REALLY like feeling swept off our feet sometimes, and a big part of finding each other has been getting to feel special for once? That's a stupid sappy way of putting it the point here is I think all that's what morphed into "I need to be the one getting proposed to, also it has to be completely perfect", and then our Petty & Extra genes got involved.

So I'm sitting in bed thinking about all that up there, and watching all the comments coming in basically being like "Dude, you are BLOWING this" on repeat, and telling me to compromise, and I look up and see him flossing in the bathroom and making all these doofy faces at the mirror, and it's like a switch just flips in my brain, and I'm like "Oh, I'd rather he gets to have his perfect proposal than we both have an okay one". I'm gonna do it.

Morning rolls around, and while I'm 'out for my jog like normal' I hit up a pawn shop for a temp ring (the ring pop thing is cute but NOT HIM). I found one I was at least confident wouldn't get ruined the first time he got his hands greasy (he fixes old machines as a hobby it's hot as hell), got back home, and hid the box in the toe of my nasty ass workout shoes in the bedroom closet, since I figured he'd check there last.

He was still asleep, because he stays up late no matter what and then is SHOCKED he's tired the next day, so I called and booked a table at our usual anniversary spot. (Side note about the 'he picks bad restaurants' thing. This isn't an 'I like Greek, you like Chinese' situation, dude's just BAD at finding places. He either assumes pricey is tasty and I get to eat some overrated gourmet bullshit, or he'll try and find something hip and underground and risk giving us food poisoning again, and he REFUSES to give up and pick somewhere we've been before when it's his turn to plan date night. I'm obsessed with him <3.) Date was set, I'd propose on the 21st.

Some of you might have noticed this, but fun fact! It's currently the 16th.

Last night I'm doing dishes and he's been sent to our room for mug collection duty, and he's taking FOREVER, so I go check just in case he found the ring, because the man's a gift tracking BLOODHOUND. Turns out he hasn't, he's found my Angry Box.

I assume other people have an Angry Box? Basically, we had this huge messy fight right when we first moved in together, and I never wanna let it get that bad again, so I have this shoebox where I keep a bunch of our stuff I can look at if we're fighting and hopefully cool off. There's one of those photo booth roll things, letters we wrote when he moved back with his parents for COVID, the wine cork from our first date, shit like that. Anyway, he's just sitting on the floor staring at it, and I explain about the Angry Box, and then he! Proposes!!! Kind of.

He definitely didn't have anything prepared, because by 'propose' I mean 'ugly cried & rambled at me for several minutes before I figured out it WAS a proposal', but once I got on the same page it was amazing. I said yes, and he had to admit he didn't have a ring for me because he was CONVINCED he'd win and I'd do it, so I grabbed mine because, yeah, he was right. He was like "this is the ugliest ring I've ever seen" and I was like yeah well the plan is to replace it later and he went "No. You can pry this off my cold dead fingers. After I'm buried with it." So I guess it's not a temporary ring anymore.

I'm just gonna go ahead and skip to this morning. I pointed out we still have the reservation, and he said I should propose there anyway because "We can get a free dessert. They have those creme brulee shot glasses you like. And for love, or something" and I said ok deal, but that means you gotta get me a ring to keep it fair, and his eyes LIT UP. When I swung by his work for lunch he was still on the phone with a jeweler and he had a whole page of notes on three other ones. Pray for me.

OH PS: I was RIGHT that he'd been the one behind the cat biting me, but it wasn't about the proposal stuff, it's because I paid my baby sister three dollars to shout 'fuck you' every single time he enters a room she's in for (if you ask me, he should be madder at my sister for charging so little), and he did it by giving her a bunch of treats for biting his hands too, so now neither of us can pet our baby girl without oven mitts on. HOLY SHIT I love this man.

Oh my goddddddd I love everything about this <333 I awwww'd out loud on a voice call, like, six times while reading. You two are friggin perfect for each other and so obviously smitten with each other and I wish y'all all the happiness in the world

PS Are y'all planning to have a big wedding? If so oh boy I can't WAIT to get that one in the inbox

Original post

[ruthytwoshakes]

EYEBALL WOOOOO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love when characters have a weird relationship with their identity as an immigrant (psychoanalysing silly tf2 men) (demo n heavy)

[wttcsms]

🏐 wttcsms written works, haikyuu ;

last updated feb 23, 2024

( 🏐 )  ⸺ 𝐀𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐔 𝐌𝐈𝐘𝐀  ✩ ✭

one shots & drabbles and i can't make you stay (in this broken place) — ( nsfw )  i sin too much to pray for you — no one can believe that one of the most powerful crime lords in the underground world of japan, atsumu miya, is wrapped around the finger of a naive girl like you, but love doesn’t really care about boundaries anyway. take care of you — ( nsfw ) atsumu just wants to give you everything he can offer: an easy job, a brand new car, a baby… wanting was enough (for me, it was enough) — ( sfw ) "He carries your confession home in the to-go box from the diner. It’s heavy, matching the American theme of burgers containing his weight in meat and fries slick with oil and grease. The two of you are walking together, and he wants to ask you, specifically, what did you mean when you told the team you liked me?" paper rings — ( sfw ) the tiffany blue ring box currently resides in the second drawer of his night stand, unceremoniously buried underneath several pairs of calvin klein briefs. when you know, you know — ( sfw ) atsumu considers marriage to be a trap, until he realizes that even a lifetime commitment to you isn’t long enough

headcanons & concepts ✩✮   : domesticity with atsumu — ( sfw ) ✩✮   : ex!atsumu seeing you're engaged to oikawa — ( sfw ) ✩✮   : how atsumu says i love you — ( sfw ) ✩✮   : atsumu and you having "non-dates" — ( sfw ) ✩✮   : atsumu's green flags — ( sfw ) ✩✮   : dating atsumu — ( sfw ) ✩✮   : dad!atsumu — ( sfw ) ✩✮   : mastermind inspired — ( sfw ) ✩✮   : atsumu randomly showing you his camera roll — ( sfw ) ✩✮   : in a world of boys, he's a gentleman — ( sfw ) ✩✮   : atsumu as a college interviewer tiktoker — ( sfw ) ✩✮   : husband atsumu using ur purse — ( sfw ) ✩✮   : you're the first person atsumu wants to tell anything to — ( sfw ) ✩✮   : the miya divide — ( sfw ) ✩✮   : girl dad atsumu — ( sfw )

multipart afterglow — ( nsfw ) finding out that his hot supermodel girlfriend is dumping him for some baseball player? that sucks. finding out via her red carpet debut with her new man as her plus one? sucks a bit more. having this happen to him the same day he just lost the last game of the season? yeah, it’s starting to feel like the universe has it out for him at this point, right? but atsumu miya is nothing if not petty, childish, and immature. he’ll get back at her. after all, there’s a secret dating app created by publicists and agents that pair up perfect matches for brightening up any celebrity’s public image. all atsumu has to do is pay a pretty sum of money to convince the media (and mainly his ex) that atsumu miya is still on top of the world and living his best life with the best (albeit, fake) girlfriend ever. unfortunately for him, his perfect match just so happens to be you — his first girlfriend, his highschool sweetheart turned sour, and the first girl who ever broke his heart. you know what they say: when it rains, it pours.

( 🏐 )  ⸺ 𝐓𝐎𝐎𝐑𝐔 𝐎𝐈𝐊𝐀𝐖𝐀  ✩ ✭

one shots & drabbles customer satisfaction — ( nsfw ) you go above and beyond for your customers...

headcanons & concepts ✩✮   : engaged to oikawa when atsumu's your ex (yikes) — ( sfw ) ✩✮   : ex husband!oikawa still in love with you — ( sfw ) ✩✮   : ice skating au — ( sfw ) ✩✮   : royal au — ( sfw ) ✩✮   : learning about the tradition of giving the first slice of cake to who you love the most — ( sfw )

multipart forever golden — ( nsfw ) everything is going fine: you just graduated with your first degree, you get to work alongside your older brother for the 2021 olympics, and you think now might be the perfect time to finally jumpstart your dating life (atsumu miya certainly seems cute...). there's no time for you to think about torn acls, shattered dreams, and the fact that this was never your original goal in life. and there's certainly no time for you to worry about tooru oikawa, the boy who practically grew up in your house now turned into the man who poses as your team's fiercest competitor. you definitely don't have the free time to remember how he's the first boy who ever had (and subsequently broke) your heart. or that the two of you went from practically joined at the hip to total strangers for the past four years. you don't even bother wondering why he suddenly wants to repair the broken bond between you two, and you totally don't give in to him (except for the times that you do... which is almost all the time).  yeah. everything is going fine.

( 🏐 )  ⸺ 𝐊𝐈𝐘𝐎𝐎𝐌𝐈 𝐒𝐀𝐊𝐔𝐒𝐀  ✩ ✭

one shots & drabbles rapture — ( nsfw ) his tenacity and stamina prove to be a deadly combination indeed. you know you make my cold heart warm with a touch — ( nsfw ) how else can kiyoomi show you how close to his heart he keeps you than by fucking into you so deep, you’re pretty sure you can feel him reaching for yours?

headcanons & concepts ✩✮   : how kiyoomi says i love you — ( sfw )

( 🏐 )  ⸺ 𝐓𝐎𝐁𝐈𝐎 𝐊𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐘𝐀𝐌𝐀  ✩ ✭

one shots & drabbles as the world caves in — ( sfw ) they say your life flashes before your eyes when you die. if that’s the case, then that explains why kageyama only sees you.

headcanons & concepts ✩✮   :  kags' act of service — ( sfw ) ✩✮   : tobio craves your attention — ( sfw ) ✩✮   : vampire hunter!reader x vampire!kags — ( sfw ) ✩✮   : he responds to all your texts individually — ( sfw )

( 🏐 )  ⸺ 𝐇𝐀𝐉𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐈𝐖𝐀𝐈𝐙𝐔𝐌𝐈  ✩ ✭

headcanons & concepts ✩✮   : domesticity with iwaizumi — ( sfw ) ✩✮   : shoujo concept with iwaizumi — ( sfw )

( 🏐 )  ⸺ 𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐎𝐔 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐀  ✩ ✭

one shots & drabbles it's the same damn thing that made my heart surrender — ( sfw ) you never do get over your first love. / you fell first, he fell harder.

headcanons & concepts ✩✮   : domesticity with suna — ( sfw )

( 🏐 )  ⸺ 𝐖𝐀𝐊𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐒𝐇𝐈 𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐉𝐈𝐌𝐀  ✩ ✭

headcanons & concepts ✩✮   : marriage of convenience with ushi — ( sfw ) ✩✮   : underground fighter ushi — ( sfw )

( 🏐 )  ⸺ 𝐓𝐄𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐎𝐔 𝐊𝐔𝐑𝐎𝐎  ✩ ✭

one shots & drabbles in every universe, it's still you — ( sfw ) in all the universes, in all the different versions of you and kuroo, you’re certain of two things: that he’s always a good person, and that you love him.

headcanons & concepts ✩✮   : fake dating au — ( sfw ) ✩✮   : business school academic rivals to lovers — ( sfw ) ✩✮   : kuroo tweet — ( sfw ) ✩✮   : dad!kuroo is the best — ( sfw ) ✩✮   : single!mom reader x kuroo office romance — ( sfw )

multipart get him back! — ( nsfw ) so, in an attempt to get back at your ex - who posted a sex tape of himself cheating on you with your best friend - you decide that you’re going to upload your own film, and it’s going to be even hotter than theirs. you don’t anticipate your class’s teaching assistant being your co-star, especially considering that he’s the one who took your virginity, and after all was said and done, you ran out on him. but there’s no running from him now, especially whenever your tape does better than expected. now, you’re one of the hottest up and coming content creators on the platform, and the cash is too good to let this opportunity go to waste. what starts as a petty revenge scheme results in a lucrative business partnership with three simple rules: profits are split 50/50, all videos remain faceless, and this newfound partnership means absolutely nothing. just because you two fuck on a daily basis does not mean you’re friends, and you’re certainly not lovers. then again, things hardly ever are that simple.

( 🏐 )  ⸺ 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐄 𝐊𝐈𝐓𝐀  ✩ ✭

one shots & drabbles paper rings — ( sfw ) shinsuke kita is a creature of habit.

headcanons & concepts ✩✮   : influencer!reader x kita — ( sfw )

( 🏐 )  ⸺ 𝐎𝐒𝐀𝐌𝐔 𝐌𝐈𝐘𝐀  ✩ ✭

one shots & drabbles xoxo — ( nsfw ) just thinking about recreating the infamous maison margiela kiss button-down shirt for your boyfriend osamu

headcanons & concepts ✩✮   : the miya divide — ( sfw )

( 🏐 )  ⸺ 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐉𝐈 𝐅𝐔𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐔𝐂𝐇𝐈  ✩ ✭

one shots & drabbles everything's blurry but you — ( sfw ) barely in your baby twenties, and you think life is so over for you. then, while at rock bottom, you run into futakuchi, and realize that 1) he’s kinda pathetic, and 2) someone else’s pathetic-ness totally distracts you from your own. so, guess you two are in it together.

[johnnycrass]

okay well, i'm gonna move to the pnw or germany lol. i can't afford LA or probably any other california city and i honestly do not care for the rest of america. im gonna visit chicago JUST IN CASE bc i'm interested, but i really dont give a shit about the American Lifestyle in general so maybe thats pointless. i want to live in a cyclist city and never own a car or visit a gas station ever again.... car camping across america has confirmed to me that i hate big box stores, driving to literally everywhere, golf courses, brushcuts, the massive constant military dick sucking, elvis, and so on and so forth. i've thought about nyc but i don't think it will be for me, i guess i'll visit just in case... my dream location involves mountains, pine forests, a car free lifestyle, possibly a beach and legal weed. so the PNW probably. i have a friend in washington who moved from houston and he loves it .... i could be employed easy in the pnw but germany would be more difficult tbh. anyways

[pigeocore]

Are we fucking with Dethklok mom headcannons? Idk I have some very specific thoughts about Murderface and Toki's moms. More very long but fun info under the cut

Tammy was born and grew up in the same trailer park that her son would ultimatly inhabit. She was a louzy student, didn't care about grades, loved skipping school and there wasn't a single class she didn't spend chatting with the other girls. No suprise that she ultimatly dropped out of high school. For a while she worked odd jobs to justify Stella not kicking her out of the trailer up until she was a young adult. That's when she found her new purpouse: to become a star. She moved to the big city with big hopes and dreams, sighned up to every audition possible for pretty much everything, ready to take the hearts of Americans by storm. Anyway she quit that two months in because it was too much work and got hired as a waitress instead.

Murderface's dad, who I don't feel like giving a name to, was a regular at a diner that Tammy woked at. He was a middle class guy, a few years older than her with a relativly good job and a wife. He saw something in her and soon enough, Tammy became the other woman in his relationship. Although their affair wasn't strictly limited to intercourse, anything other than that was rather messy and the two were constaly on again and off again. That is until Tammy got pregnant and in a suprising decision, Murderface's dad decided to step up. He divorced his previous wife and married her instead, turning her from a poor waitress to a full-on picket fence housewife, something that he'd come to quickly regret. Their relationship started falling apart pretty much immidietly. When they weren't having screaming maches or mediocre sex, they didn't talk at all. He'd spend the whole day working or sitting in front of the TV drinking and she'd tend to the house. This tension was what would ultimatly lead him to commit the infamous murder-suicide.

Now, Tammy was not good at her job. In fact, she kinda sucked. Her cooking was terrible, she'd constantly half-ass any task she was given and would not take any criticism. Still, it was at least good enough to not make the house explode. Her not being nor striving to be the picture-perfect housewife was what ended up alienating her from a lot of other women around her. Still, she didn't care about fitting in with those girls, she saw the as "pompous bitches" and continued doing her thing

A lot of that attitude also carried over to her parenting. She was very irresponsible, although most of her behaviour stemed from lack of knowlage rather than anything purpouseful. Tammy was totally the kind of mom to leave her baby alone in the car while she went shopping or let it crawl around the house unsupervised. Once again, she would not take ANY criticism about her parenting techniques. Still, she did geniuanly love Willy a lot for what it was worth. Her son ment the world to her and god forbid anyone call him ugly. Whenever her husband, who unlike her had a lot of distaste for their baby, tried to say anything on the matter she'd fight him until the neighbours were calling the cops due to noise complains

She also had a bit of a morbid side to her. She loved violent movies and would sneak into grindhouse theaters on occassions, especially when she was younger. Truly a shame she died before Texas Chainsaw Massacre came out. She would've been ecstatic to hear her son joined a death metal band, although I don't think she would've supported all of his shenanigans.

Also she looks like Murderface because I think it would be really funny if he just looked like every woman in his family lol

Anna, nicknamed Andzia by her family was born in the polish region of lubelszczyzna in a fictional village of Jagiellonki Książęce Kościelne trzecie A-Kolonia. It was the kind of village where there was nothing except a church, roadside shrine and a few homes. Her family were farmers, she spend a good chunk of her childhood picking fruits and tending to farm animals.

In school, she was considered an excellent student, both due to her behaviour and preformance. She was very quiet and well behaved, always stuck in her own little world and never getting in any trouble. She also had really good grades. Andzia especially excelled at language learning, something that'd come to be very useful for her in the future. She wasn't very interested in persuing an academic career though and cared more about other stuff, including helping her parents around the farm

Another thing she cared about very deeply was her religion. She went to mass every sunday, pray every day before going to bed, took part in every possible church activity and even sung in the church choir. She was proud of being a christian, always looking for ways to become even more devoted. However, she wasn't always the nicest about her belifs and tended to secretly judge other christians who did less than her

Andzia met her future husband through complete coincidence. They both happend to be on seprate pilgrimages to the same holy site, it was tradition in Aslaug's cult that before taking the role of the reverend the man must go on a spiritual journey for one last time. The two just kinda bumped into eachoter and ended up clicking. Andzia saw Aslung's belifs as a way for her to become an even better christian and Aslaug saw her as a good fit for a wife. She stayed with him after her group departed from the site and within a month, the two were engaged and organizing a way for her to leave Poland. Andzia came to Norway and officially joined the cult through marrige a few months later, something that would've probably happend sooner if leaving Poland through less legal means at the time was a bit easier. She took the name Anja Wartooth in order to assimilate better into her new Norwegian family. Toki was born a year later

I know a lot of people like to headcannon Anja as a victim of abuse in the same way that Toki was, but I personally see her as someone who was very much complicit in her son's treatment. Although I don't think Aslaug was the best husband to her, she still treated Toki just as badly as he did and though she now thinks she may have sometimes went bit too far, she doesn't really see herself as in the wrong

Overall her and Toki's relationship is not good. TLDR: She always saw him as a dissapointment and if she could, she would've had other kids to replace him with (Unfortunatly she and her husband didn't have any luck conceving again, which they blamed on Toki too for some reason). He on the other hand really wants to love her but can't help but rightfully feel resentful and hate her for all she did to him

Despite that, Anja cared enough for her son to teach him a bit of polish and some facts about their culture. Toki then continued learning from the polish books she brought with her from back home (He didn't have much to do inbetween work, praying and punishments) and actually ended up being almost fluent in it at some point. Currently he has gone rusty but still knows enough to read some signs and order some beer at the bar, which was enough to impress the band at their first international tour

One last fun fact: As you can guess, Aslaug's cult dennounced the pope which was really hard on Anja because like every polish person at the time she fucking loved John Paul II. He was her secret true love/celebrity crush, despite everything she secretly kept a picture of him in her room. When she discovered he died somewhere during the events of Dethfam she was DEVISTATED. Toki on the other hand is a rzułta morda meme connosiour.

[504py]

ahh requests open !!! can i request yan!america headcanons or a short drabble ? your choice 🌼 thank you~

thank you for requesting anon!!! and so sorry for this being late omg this was supposed to come out earlier but i got sidetracked cuz i got sucked into stardew valley LMFAO 😭😭😭. but anyways, here it is!

Yandere America Relationship Headcanons

Gender neutral, manipulation, breaking and entering, stalking, long post ahead!

┊͙✧˖*°࿐

How the relationship started...

A total cliché, but Alfred would go for a damsel in distress. He met you on the stairs passing each other, you tripped, and he caught you in his arms in the nick of time. You quickly apologize and thank him with an embarrassed smile, and you continue on your way. Alfred tries to, but he can't seem to stop thinking about that flustered expression on your face, the sound of your voice, and the way you felt under your clothes...

He tries to shake the feeling off, but he just had to bump into you again.

Alfred's second encounter with you was when you two were at the counter at the convenience store, and you were a dollar short. Him, being the hero he is, leans over from behind you and puts a dollar down on the counter.

You look at him, recognizing him as the dude who prevented you from eating shit at that staircase. You blush at the embarrassing memory.

"Don't worry about it." Alfred smiles boyishly, noticing that same flustered expression. He relishes in the feeling of your warmth against his chest when he leans forward, and immediately misses it when he pulls away.

"Th.. Thanks."

You take your things and go, and Alfred is up next to pay for his things. His eyes linger on you as you exit.

Alfred can't wait for the next time you two have a chance encounter, so he catches up to you.

"Hey, dude!" He calls out, approaching you from behind. His heart races a little.

"Oh-" You are a little startled, he feels kinda bad. "What's up?"

"Cause of that dollar I gave you, I had to give up my potato chips!" Alfred cries.

He's lying. He's hoping to god they don't make a crinkle sound under his jacket.

"Oh, shoot, I'm sorry. Can.. Uh, can I pay you back some other day? I don't have any cash on me at the moment."

Alfred smiles. "I can give you my number, and we'll make out the details then?"

"Y-Yeah, of course."

His smile grows wider.

Expectations...

Because Alfred is just oh-so sociable and has such a friendly, extroverted disposition, it isn't very hard for him at all to quickly become one of your closest friends, and, one day, when you two were stuck in the rain after a late night fast-food dash gone wrong, he confesses his feelings for you. You accept, and he kisses you so hard your lips bled a bit from the impact. Of course, he apologized like crazy. You two look back at it now and laugh.

Alfred does his best to appear like a normal boyfriend. He is one who cares a lot about keeping up appearances, so he'd hate it if his weird tendencies slipped through and made itself apparent to you.

Yet another cliché, Alfred is one who yearns for the perfect American dream sort of image. Alfred really likes clichés, they're easy to predict and he can control them. He likes kissing in the rain, he likes calling you cheesy nicknames, and he wants to get married and have a kid and a pet dog with you. And he expects you to completely adhere to that fantasy of his.

Luckily for you, he won't get too violent if you're not the best at keeping up that appearance, since he has other methods of keeping you in line.

Punishments...

Since Alfred highly values appearing like a run-of-the-mill happy couple, he finds it essential that you don't suspect him at all or see him in any negative light.

So he takes to some really dirty manipulation tactics. He'd start with scolding you lightly and emphasizing every time you slip up or make a clumsy mistake.

"Oh-! Woah, babe, you almost tripped again. Thank God I caught you.. You really can't go anywhere without me."

"Did you mix up the laundry again? Damn, that's the third time this month."

He mixed up your laundry on purpose.

"Shoot! The food's burning... Ah, don't worry! I'll just order some takeout, it's alright, honey."

He totally left the burner on high while you went to the bathroom for a second.

Alfred just wants to plant a seed in your head that you're rather helpless, and need his assistance for many, if not all things. And assuming this works, you'll start clinging to him much more than you usually do.

He wants more, though. He wants you to fear the outside world so much that you have no choice but to stay in his house forever and see him as the one thing that could protect you.

He would very likely stage a break-in to get you to that point. During a moment where you're staying in your own home instead of his, he'll don a ski mask and clothing that would make him unrecognizable to you, and late at night, when you're getting comfortable, he breaks in.

Alfred doesn't mind destruction, and that's including towards other people. Like Matthew, violence would be a last resort to him, however, Alfred is much more unforgiving.

..He won't be pretty about breaking into your home. Glass will be everywhere, he'll set off alarms, and he won't be shy about getting caught on your home cameras.

Although destruction isn't his main intent, he just wants you to know someone was here. He'll move your furniture around, knock frames off of the walls, and take a few valuables, like jewelry. Nothing you should miss too much.

Then he sees you.

He never really intended for you to see him, but, now he was facing you, and to your eyes, you were face to face with a stranger who just broke into your home.

Alfred sees the panic and fear boil over in your eyes, and right before you run or scream or are able to do anything— He rushes forward and grabs you. His heart is racing

Instead of saying anything, in fear you recognize his voice, he raises a gloved finger to his lips, telling you to stay quiet.

You nod, and you're crying.

(Alfred hates to admit a part of him finds this exhilarating, but the way you're crying because of him makes him feel so horrible).

He nods his masked face at you, and goes to your bedroom to collect a few more valuables (your underwear).

As he's leaving your home, he turns his head to see you on your phone, and he panics, thinking you've dialed 911. He hurries up and runs off to a secluded area so he could take off the outer layer of clothes he was wearing.

As he takes off his jacket, the phone in his pocket rings.

And it's you.

He's frozen for a second, wondering why you were calling him. Did you know it was him? What did he do that set you off?

He picks up.

"Babe?" He cringes at how his voice shakes. "What's up?"

Then you're crying his name like it was a prayer, telling him what just happened and begging for him to come over and pick you up.

And his heart swells. You came to him first for protection? You trusted him the most with your safety?

He grins, and he can't help the way his smile could be heard in his voice when he tells you he'll be there as quickly as he can. He's so happy he's trembling. Luckily, you're still too shaken up to notice his strangely cheery tone of voice.

Then now you're clinging to him, much more than ever before, trusting him with your life, and the only thing you fear is being without him. Just like he wanted.

Rewards...

Alfred REALLY likes physical affection. He does show his love in many ways, but he's so physical that it may come off as creepy. He likes licking your face, biting lightly on your shoulder, and sniffing whatever he can, even if it's some embarrassing area... He's like a dog, really. He also likes taking you out on cheesy dates, like going to Disneyland or going to a haunted house, and taking lots of pictures to flaunt the two of you's oh-so-perfect relationship.

He has this habit of resting his hand around your neck and sorta rubbing it. I'm not sure if he'd be into asphyxiation, but he finds the action rather intimate. The throat is a vulnerable spot, and him having it in his hand so casually makes him feel good. He also has this other habit where he likes to sorta tickle your palm with his fingertips. When he hears your laugh when he does this, he gets an uncharacteristically demure expression on his face, and looks at you with hearts in his eyes.

Silence is his love language, I think.

He spends a lot of time being loud and untamed, and maybe it's a defense mechanism, who knows? So these little moments where he allows himself to be quiet, to be quiet around you, are his favorite ones.

He wakes up really early, at least earlier than you do. Maybe contrary to popular belief, I feel like Alfred is somewhat of a workaholic, so he naturally tries to get a head-start on the day.

He used to hate waking up so early, but with you, it's now his favorite part of the day. The only thing he hates is getting up to leave you for work. But he thinks it's all worth it, because it's all for you.

It's so quiet. And you're here. And no one else is around. It's just the two of you.

It feels like he's not real, during these early mornings. He knows you are, though. You're everything that's real to him. He reminds himself that this isn't a dream by touching and admiring your face while you slept. He can feel your soft breathing on his skin.

Alfred rests his forehead against yours, and he doesn't say this out loud, since he doesn't wanna wake you up, but it's also because.. He feels like you just get him. He believes you two are soulmates, and that you'll just feel whatever he's thinking, even while asleep.

"I love you." He says, in silence.

┊͙✧˖*°࿐

whew!! so sorry this got out so late, but here's the final request i'm doing for the 200 followers celebration! funnily, as i'm posting this, i've just hit 300 followers, so triple all my thank yous!! you guys are great! unfortunately, the requests got me feeling a bit burned out, so i'll probably do something different for this milestone.. i'm thinking i'll either do a "meet the artist", or do a whiteboardfox with you guys? i also have a whole bunch of ocs which were initially meant to be the main focus of my account, but not sure if that y'all would find that very interesting. please lmk what you think! thank you all again!!

[octuscle]

I went to the Nations of the World party and I drew the UAE. Could you help me get into that culture and be big and sexy for the party?

Everything Arabic is currently incredibly in demand… I don't have much choice anymore… But I think I have just the thing here. Just activate. Activation takes three days, transformation will end automatically on 03 November at 08:00. You should still be able to have some fun after the party.

Monday night… A bit early to activate the costume… The party is more than two weeks away… But you can't wait. Every nine hours now, one of your ancestors from your great-grandparents' generation will become of Arab descent. At first you don't feel anything… You spend the evening as usual in front of the television. Everything is normal… You go to bed earlier than usual. At 22:00 sharp. And at 05:00 the alarm clock rings. Your new routine. Breakfast, jogging to the gym, an hour at the weights, jogging home and then second breakfast, shower and off to the office. You're at your desk even earlier than usual. And fit as seldom. You get plenty of compliments. Colleagues ask you if you were on vacation. Fuck, the costume seems to pay off. At lunchtime you go out for falafel. Your mother grew up bilingual. What the fellows behind the counter speak is everything, but not customer-friendly. You've already learned that much Arabic from your mother… You say goodbye with "'ayuha al'iikhwatu, lays hunak nasihat lihadha alealaji." The two fellows stare at you with open eyes. That was better than tipping them.

In the evening you cook your dinner, prepare your breakfast, eat, read a little bit and go to bed at 22:00. You dream wildly and wake up at 5:00 a.m. drenched in sweat. Hair grows on your chest. On a well-built chest. When you finish your training, you are the son of a Syrian mother and an American father. You grew up bilingual. Fluent in Arabic. And still a Christian. Your father prevailed. Sure, your mother told you a lot about the Koran, but religion doesn't interest you much anyway. Your church is the gym, your communion is the protein shake. In the office, all your colleagues ask you about the situation in the Middle East. How you see it. You were once on vacation in Tunisia. These are your experiences with the Middle East. What do you know about that?

At the end of work at 5:00 p.m. your genetics change. You have more Arabic than European roots. You can see it in your body hair. In your eyes. You notice it because you want to smoke a shisha at the end of the day. Everyone knows you in the café. You all speak Arabic to each other. You are still the infidel Christian. But all those who have not yet sucked your uncut dick don't know that. Ahmad, whom you just fucked in the toilet, for example, knows.

Wednesday morning. Prayer times are always good in the winter. You're done with your workout before you go to sunrise prayer. Training and prayer set the rhythm of your day. It is good that you are your own boss. Importing and exporting various things. Exporting cars to the Middle East. Importing… Well, whatever comes along… All kinds of things… By noon prayer, you've lost your American passport. You are a proud citizen of the UAE. There was once a Swedish great-grandmother. But it doesn't show on your face. And you don't notice it yourself.

After the sunset prayer, the transformation is complete. Purebred Arabian. A true Arabian hot-blooded stallion. You have been in the States for five years now. A good and permissive life here. Your mother should not know about this. But this is sex, drugs and rock'n'roll. You're looking forward to the Halloween party in two weeks. Costume? You don't need a costume. You just show up…

Inspiration found @fitbearcatcher

[srirachacatarchieves]

Seventeen Virgins and Not Virgins : MY TAKE

Seungcheol:

People might flame me for this but I think this man is definitely a virgin. He’s had his dick sucked, most definitely. But I don’t think he’s stuck it in yet. Not that he couldn’t lose it if he wanted to, he just doesn’t care for it, and he doesn’t have the time.

Jeonghan:

Not a virgin. I mean that is just so obvious. His demeanor, everything. He’s incredibly mature, even more mature than you’d expect a 27 year old to be. Plus, he just has that effortless sex appeal. He definitely gets some pussy and/or some ass in the DL. Often too, cuz he always chill. He probably fucked Hyungwon too.

Joshua:

Not a virgin. I don’t even have to elaborate, do I?

Jun:

Not a virgin. Even though he’s a good actor, I think him and Yi Zhang fucked, definitely. The chemistry was too real and you could just feel it between them. Also with his hip flexibility, I know he be hitting it weekly at least.

Hoshi:

Not a virgin. He’s definitely had sex before, yeah definitely. He probably gets some at least a couple times a month, and I’m around 99% convinced it’s with either a red velvet member or a fellow dancer. Call it a gut feeling, that’s definitely right.

Wonwoo:

Not a virgin, but I don’t think he gets it often. His last hookup was probably like a year or so ago, and he’s not really big on sex anyways.

Woozi:

If you had asked me three months ago, I would have said virgin. But these days, have yall seen this man? He is glowing, I mean literally glowing like never before. I don’t know what to call it but a sex afterglow, lol. Check on Seventeen’s TT, every dance challenge he does he is so just cheery, and I’ve never seen him like that before. In conclusion, he’s getting pussy and/or ass really often these days. Or dick idk.

DK:

This man is not a fuckin virgin. Those muscles, that voice, that face? THOSE thighs? He has sex, and he’s good at it. He acts silly on the outside, and goofy and shit, but he’s serious in the bedroom. He’s probably sweet but also mean, and I stand by this.

Mingyu:

A dick virgin by choice. Not to say that he hasn’t had MULTIPLE opportunities, but I think he’s too shy. That being said, I think he’s been fucked before. He’s just a submissive person in general, lololol.

The8:

NOT a virgin. This man, gets bitches. Chinese, Korean, American, all of em. He probably got girls lined up in his phone, listed by numbers. I’m half joking, but either way, he’s a total dom in the bedroom, and he probably fucks often.

Seungkwan:

Not a virgin. He’s really popular with korean media especially, and in variety shows, etc. Especially in the new netflix show that came out, he probably had some people come to his room. My point being, he has an unspoken rizz. Watch any of his were lives and you’ll see that. I’m not talking about entertainment king Boo Seungkwan, I’m talking about actual Seungkwan. I say this again, watch one of his live videos, and watch him be effortlessly cool, sexy, and rizzzzzyyy.

Vernon:

Not a virgin, he chill and he get some on the down low as well.

DINO:

Not a MOTHERFUCKIN virgin! He fucks bitches, a lot. I just know it. He can get anyone, anytime. He packing too…. His body is literally..perfect, he has broad shoulders, thick thighs. He’s every girl and guys dream.

THATS IT

[olath124]

OC Interview

For this sucker fascinating person.

Name?

Don’t you already know me? Elroy Vincennes. I’m quite notorious, you know?

Nickname?

I’d rather keep it as Mr. Vincennes, usually. My close friends call me Elroy. My CLOSEST friends call me Roy. If you have to ask, stick with Mr. Vincennes, please.

Gender?

Male, cis.

Star sign?

I’m a Scorpio. 

Height?

1.78 cm/5'10". Usually not the tallest person in the room. But I'm taller than a certain someone and that's enough.

Orientation?

Do people still care about this kind of stuff? I’m pansexual. I don’t really care about what people have in their pants, I’m more interested in what happens in their heads.

Nationality/Ethnicity

I consider myself American. But my family has French origins, as you can probably tell from my surname. But yeah, I was born here. Went back to France often, though, as a kid.

Favorite fruit?

Peaches. Had the luck to taste a few right from the tree.

Favorite season?

My favorite is summer. I like the summer in Provence, that’s where I go whenever possible.

Favorite flower?

Jasmine. They look innocent and sweet but have an alluring scent. Like someone who’s keeping a secret.

Favorite scent?

As before, probably jasmine.

Coffee or tea?

Coffee, always. Black preferably and preferably not the shit they sell in NC.

Average hours of sleep?

Very little. Around 3 hours, I usually go to bet from 6 to 9. I’ve never needed too much sleep, and the night hours are when I work best.

Dog or cat person?

Stupid dogs surround me, but I’d say I’m more of a cat person. It’s more interesting when it feels like there’s something to conquer.

Dream trip?

Well, it’s not a dream trip because I go there whenever I can. But I like France. My family is from there and I still have an estate in Provence. I like going there, now that they are out of the picture.

Favorite fictional character?

I don't care about fictional characters. I like historical ones. My favorite is Vincent van Gogh. You know… the blend of art and madness. He’s someone I feel close to.

Number of blankets you sleep with?

One. Silk preferably. And with a decent threads count. Yes, I’ve developed some fancy tastes in my life.

Random shit?

I've left my family for a long period. Since I was fourteen until I was twenty-two. Joined a gang, pretended I was like any other hopeless street-kid there. It was fun. I ended going back to my family because, you know, money don't suck.

But it gave me perspective. And the edge to succed in what I make. My family money helped me, too, of course. But that period was an important part of who I am now, anyway. I've also made my closest friends in that time.

[barbiegirldream]

Yeah I think that from the angle of she was young and her experience sexually was incredibly low comparably, so what is tame for him would be extreme for her is the only real way I can take the power imbalance seriously. Like I'm sorry I do not think being a Minecraft Youtuber as some sort of huge imbalance, especially since she wasn't even a stan (or even a fan really?).

Like I'm uncomfortable with the amount of people turning it into her being evil but like it feels like it was her first time regretting an experience and conflating that into assault after the fact. Which I'm sorry for her, that sucks, but being uncomfortable after the fact, and never communicating that you were uncomfortable to begin with doesn't make it assault

it's the only type of power imbalance I'll accept too. Like this was not a situation where they ended up in the same place as Dream and George. These women texted Dream asking him to hang out. They don't know him that well. They asked to see him because he's famous no other way around it. Dream was by and large the most famous person at vidcon. They know who George is too they knew they were walking into a situation as less popular streamers both times.

Anyways I have seen a lot of crazy takes from people who've never been to parties. So let me give you some advice ladies. Do not go with friends who would watch something happen to you and keep their mouth shut for any reason. Do not get drunk in unfamiliar places without an exit strategy. Do not ever worry about someone else's ego. If you even think your time at a party is dependent on the friend of the hosts ego you're already in a wrong place you're going to ruin your night go home. Watch out for your friends even if you're not sure they'd watch out for you if you've walked into that situation you should be doing it. And if you're not close friends with the hosts of the party when your friends are leaving time's up you're going too. And if you are an American under 21 don't make a bunch of adults trying to have a good time responsible for you legally. Keep it neat and tidy. If your friends are dumb enough to supply you with drinks well that's on them but remember when you walk into someone else's house what you're up to

[lalac3nty]

𝐁𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐞<𝟑

____________________________________________

(My bestie in my new life, better cr, dr, dream life whatever u wanna call it🩷 + If I use any cringy emojis it is as a joke pls don’t take me seriously)

And also this post is messy but it’s mostly for myself bc I don’t like scripting on notion anymore

Also English is NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE (and being fr)

This is her?!! ⇩⇩⇩ (she’s so 😍😋🤭)

It’s the only face claim I have for her😔

Name: Milla ——————

Age: same as me + goes in my class

Birthday: idk but her astro signs are 🤝 with mine

She’s half Asian and half Swedish since I’m Swedish and we live in Sweden and I can’t figure why tf a person would want to move her if they aren’t Scandinavian bc it fucking sucks here…😀

Anyway, her dad met her mom on vacation and then 💥 sooo they moved here??

• Her mom makes delicious food 😋😋😋

• We can be big backs together

She has a little brother that is 1 year younger than us and his name is Alvin?🐿️

This is her house⇩ it’s a little like a farm house bc I already like in the middle of nowhere and I’m gonna make her suffer to so, but we are like 10 minutes away from each other

The pool is a little American style?

Okey so she and I are like this🤞🤞🤞

I’m gonna cry when I met her bc i had like had friends in this reality but I’ve never felt a “deep” “trusting” friendship with anyone

She and I can tell each other anything, she knows about loa, shifting, blabla. We have the same humor and “mindset” idk how to explain it but she and I are perfect for each other and

She also shifted/manifested her way there

Her dog ⇩

My dog here is a grand danios too but I changed my pet for this place so- her names freya

I did make a voting post for her hair bc idk if I would script her to have this her or just leave her hair alone…But it does match the dog tho so it’s cute

I don’t know what to write anymore bc I have nothing figured out??

I’ll make an update maybe..

[niuniente]

Regarding fandoms and comments, I've recently had negative comments that tell me I'm not good and should just quit writing. Well, it worked. I no longer am able to write without it affecting my mental state. People who do the bullying do it to get rid of authors they don't like that doesn't fit their mindset. When does it end? I didn't want it to hurt my mental health and get me to quit, but it did.

People treating each other badly whenever they can never ceases to make me sad.

I try to think the quote "hurt people hurt people" when dealing with negative people. Happy, balanced people, who view others as their equals, have no need to leave negative comments, send hate messages etc. to others just because they can.

Take a little break but don't let anyone stop you from doing what you love! I try to keep this mentality and I always think about how Billy Idol (80's famous singer) just kept pushing forward whenever someone or something said no to him:

When he was a child, he wanted to play a guitar. Parents said "No, you can only play a violin" -> Billy secretly got himself a guitar with 5£ at the age of 9 and learned to play it by himself.

His teenage girlfriend dyed his hair white. Everyone said it looked horrible on him -> Billy kept the white hair and made it his trademark.

He discovered punk and FINALLY managed to put a band together in his late teens. Too bad that London, where he lived, had closed all bars and pubs from punk bands. They weren't legally allowed to play anywhere. -> Billy and a few other guys established their own place for all punk bands, where all where welcome to play.

He went to university to study music. He was bullied and ostracized by other students as he was too weird, too freaky looking and listened to punk instead of jazz -> He was lonely but staid in the school and kept his looks and music taste.

He started to dislike being a band member and wanted to have a solo career. Everyone said you can't make it, you suck, you can't make compose a shit -> Billy decided to start a solo career as Billy Idol anyway.

When he started to get a little footing in the Europe, he decided that he wants to go to USA. It would give him better markets and more chances to succeed. Too bad that Europe's most famous punk band, Sex Pistols, has just epically failed in their attempts to make it in the USA. America hated punk and Billy Idol was nobody compared to Sex Pistols. Everyone called him delusional for having such stupid dreams. -> Billy went to USA anyway

In America, all record labels he went to said the same thing; you will never make it here. You sing punk and we hate it. You sing with British English and we hate it. You look so fucking ugly that no one will come to see you. If you want to succeed here, you need to change your music style for radio friendly stuff, change your accent and change your looks. -> Billy thought that if singing with American accents helps, he does it. Otherwise, fuck you. This is the music he wants to do and this is his style and how he wants to look. -> This decision led him to become super famous. Everyone loved his music and the fucking ugly guy became one of the 80's sex symbols, and his music videos were literally directed to sell with sex to the female audience.

Also, it was told him with dead certainty by many people that your music will never play in radios. EVER. Well, what do you know, his music still plays in the radios, 40 years later :3

So, keep going! Keep writing! There's audience for every single style out there and just because some asshat wasn't impressed, it doesn't mean others wouldn't like your stuff.

I mean, how much emphasis do we want to put into asshats words anyway? Which matters more; some random asshat's feelings or our own joy and inspiration when we do something creative?