#anyway tell me about your own stories!!
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Since so many of us are on a nostalgic trip I want to keep this party going and get to know others a bit better too so tell me in the tags/reblogs/comments: How did you first get into Dan and Phil?
#i saw people posting about them on g+ and wanted to be a part of that those people were always lovely#so i ended up watching everything in chronological order starting with phil's stuff and it was so surreal but also sweet?#quickly became a comfort watch#anyway tell me about your own stories!!#dnpgames#dan and phil#dnp#dan and phil games#dan howell#phil lester#amazingphil#danisnotonfire#phan
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#a doodley#i had to make this blue so tumblr would stop hiding it from the dash#anyway no caption this happened 2 hrs ago#im happy abt my surgery but it and other things this year keep beinging conversations like these up#and i cant handle it at all.#everything my dad tells me just makes me feel worse and not bc its anything bad but bc I Feel Bad#like the conversation then continued to him being like no dont cry im just saying i wpuld have wanted to#quit my job decades ago and set aside money so I wouldnt be struggling as much now but that didnt happen#and i just dont want that to happen to you guys :)#so we have to support u so that your life is what u want it to be#and i cried even more bc what do u mean. thats so sad. ur a person and u were a child and baby once and ur gonna die#and you always almost cry when u talk about your mom who passed away decades ago#and your brothers that passed away#recently and im going to be your age and still sobbing bc i miss my dad. just like i have been prematurely crying about since i was 7#the other day my dad asked my mom if i cried a lot when i was a baby/kid and my mom said no and then my dad#said that when i Did cry it was so severe he thought i would ''drown in my own tears''#bc i could never stop. like. thats still true today. ive been crying on and off since then#i think i mentioned he's just been telling me stories about his life lately and it further fuels this. i get so sad. im sorry your life was#like this. i dont want to die i dont want you to die im sad im sorry im sorry#im scared. im never going to see you again. how horrible. how horrible#i cant enjoy my day today bc every day is a day closer and i get sad
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I can't find it now but there's a post about suspension of disbelief and how it's broken when the story starts trying to excuse it. "character gets knocked unconscious for hours but there's no further issues from this" okay 👍 "and actually this makes perfect sense because of this and that" um no it doesn't why are you lying to me. like i am willing to ignore the holes and the discrepancies!! all you need to do is let me and not bring unnecessary attention to it!!!
and all that is my issue with the whole robin child soldier argument. like i am willing to ignore it i am willing to engage with the fantasy literally all you need to do is NOT try to convince me that Actually It's Fine Because They Want To Do It or whatever. like literally just shut up about it and i can engage with the fantasy!!
#my dc posting#dc#robin#batman#like. if you want to tell a story and not worry abt the child endangerement thing just DONT BRING IT UP ???#all you're doing when you bring it up is telling me this is something i'm allowed to think abt when it comes to the story#and then you tell me Um Actually It's Fine ?? no! what the fuck are you talking about!!#i am tryinggggg to just have fun n read fics your lil “isnt that child endangerement and kinda fucked up?” “no actually they wouldve done i#anyways bla bla bla batman couldnt have stopped them bla bla bla''#is COUNTERPRODUCTIVEEE#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#damian wayne#<- tagging the robins sorry#sorry this just. this topic annoys me so much#...also ''batman couldnt have stopped them/they wouldve done it with or without him'' are literally#just factually incorrect in jason's case. he did not in fact start on his own and the only thing batman wouldve#needed to do to stop him is literally just NOT make him robin BUT- at this point im just beating a dead horse on that topic#w how many times i bring it up lmao#like. in real life you cant just knock a person unconscious for hours with no consequences on them.#but i dont care when it happens in fiction despite being not realistic!! bc its fiction!!!#unless of course the characters out of nowhere do a lil sidequest PSA abt how actually doing that is fine#and completely safe with no risks#yknow??#like if that happened id be annoyed and like no its fucking not fine why are you trying to convince me. just move on and dont bring it up#and I wont bring it up#anyway. yeah these are just some thoughts im having rn sorry its not more coherent and put-together i cant be assed rn lmao
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hot in the day, hot in the night, hot as the coal coming to tread, light on your bed, here we go oh, listen whistle roll (baby the, the sun is getting low)
the bucktommy cowboy au nobody asked for part two (part one) (part three)
(song insp.)
#these two have me in a chokehold FR#look i just love the idea of them lying on the hood of their truck in the middle of the night sharing a beer and looking at the open sky#buck has one hand in the air tracing the constellations while the other is tangled loosely with tommys at his side#he's talking about how cool it is that different cultures will look at the same stars and draw different pictures#and isn't that a wonderful thing about humans? that we can look at the same set of dots in the sky and through them tell different stories#about what is SO important to us that it must be literally written in the sky? isnt that just amazing?#and tommy isnt looking at the constellations - how can he when theres a star of his own right next to him?#so its evan he's looking at when he softly lets out a quiet “...amazing”#...whoops my fingers slipped#ANYWAYS#stay tuned for more in this moodboard series because it WILL happen#the bucktommy cowboy au nobody asked for agenda is REAL#bucktommy cowboy au#otp: better ways to get your attention#bucktommy#kinkley#tevan#firepilot#fireflight#evan buckley#tommy kinard#911 abc#911 on abc#911 moodboard#em's moodboards#mine#im back on my cowboy bullshit
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continually annoyed by how every single post i've seen supporting the notion that "the journal pages in BoB were fakes" just feels like thinly veiled anti material
#i didn't spend this long being constantly shamed for enjoying the messed up fictional possibilities of billford#just for people to turn around and tell me that every single scrap of everything even potentially supporting my fannish interests is Fake#anyways this post Cannot be reblogged i am not interested in this breaching containment nor am i interested in debating#i just wanted to vent out my feelings#if you disagree that's your business#feel free to scroll onwards in peace#nova rambles#but g o d. i've had to unfollow or blacklist or block SO many people because of this.#it's so disheartening.#it just seems like people are Once Again treating characters as real people instead of fictional tools.#like yeah sure project your personal story onto a character as a means to try and heal#but i PROMISE you that someone in the corner shipping billford isn't a threat to that. stanford pines the character does not care#because stanford pines the character has no feelings.#there is No Need to 'debunk' everyone else's fun time like god#which is what this feels like. it feels like some people are trying to go 'HAH told you' and prove that the pages are fake#and i do not like that energy#like i don't care if people have these opinions in the comfort of their own brains#but it feels Weird to be constantly CONSTANTLY posting about it and trying to 'prove' it
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Things that happened in Martyn & Cleo Double Life canon:
Cleo hoping to find her soulmate and start a life with them
Cleo dumping Martyn without giving him a chance to explain his side of the story, but hearing him out when he comes to her later
Martyn watching Cleo through his spyglass and telling the audience she seems safe and happy even though he thinks it's weird she's outside at night
Martyn, after he's had time to consider how he wants to play this, spinning a story about trying to be a provider for her and Cleo explaining that she wanted him, not things
Cleo not being remotely impressed by the "I was providing" sob story, lol
Martyn calling Cleo selfish for choosing to be with Scott because she's supposed to be HIS soulmate and he wants a partner
Cleo willing to forgive Martyn if he meets them halfway
Martyn refusing to meet them halfway because he doesn't think he did anything wrong
Martyn screaming about how Cleo's building bridges with Scott but "When will she think about mending our bridges???"
Martyn explaining to Cleo that he doesn't understand why his Session 1 actions bothered them
Martyn centering his character arc and roleplay on trying to win Cleo back without actually apologizing
Cleo giving Martyn a flower and stating that if he loses it, she'll be real cross with him
Cleo chasing Martyn out of her yard because he tried to put an HOA sign on her base and she wanted to make it clear that she wasn't associated with them and their hate for his base (even though she does think his heart base is strange)
Martyn attacking Cleo after she said attacking is a form of affection to her
Cleo setting boundaries with Martyn and explaining what he can do to get her back
Cleo sighing when Scar set her up on a date with Martyn, but taking the chance to talk to him instead of walking out
Cleo genuinely wanting Martyn in her alliance
Martyn and Cleo giggling constantly when they chat
Scar asking if Martyn wanted him to play a romantic music disc for him and Cleo (and Martyn getting excited and saying yes)
Martyn offering to take Cleo's armor and weapons to the deep dark so he can enchant them and bring them back while she stays safe
Cleo gifting Martyn diamonds, expecting nothing in return but not wanting him to die from lack of a good sword
Martyn and Cleo forming a secret alliance that allows Cleo to live with Scott while being on good terms with Martyn
Martyn expressing frustration that Cleo wants to keep this alliance secret because he wants them to be public allies; Cleo softly shushes him when people approach and might overhear
Martyn telling Cleo that she's putting out a lot of mixed signals because she keeps reeling him in and then pushing him away, claiming he is very confused about where he stands with her
Martyn teasing Cleo by punching her off a cliff and accidentally killing her and feeling so bad about it that he apologizes profusely despite roleplaying as someone who refused to apologize for Session 1
Martyn and Cleo immediately threatening Bdubs together when he said hi to them while they were hanging out, sdkfj
Martyn genuinely apologizing to Pearl for dumping her after Session 1
Martyn hiding under Cleo's bed while she defends him from an enderman attack
Cleo offering to let Martyn move into her house after Etho and Joel grief his base; Martyn saying he might take her up on that
Cleo and Martyn agreeing to move out and base together at Box
Cleo trusting Martyn with the location and resources of her red life base
Martyn rushing to Cleo's aid in the deep dark and trying to turn everyone against him instead
Cleo responding to Martyn's panicked shouts for her to eat by opening her inventory to get food (and drowning because she forgot she was in water)
Cleo hanging back and letting Martyn attack Scott while she does nothing to stop him from doing so, implying as much as she likes Scott, she won't kill Martyn (and herself) for him (and/or she trusted Scott to handle himself even though he ran away while Martyn was shooting at him)
Things that did not happen:
Cleo unwilling to forgive Martyn or consider being his friend and partner
Martyn and Cleo hating each other
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk
#Listen. listen. I understand. but consider... them#Zombiewood#ZombieCleo#Martyn InTheLittleWood#Limited Life canon: Cleo making Martyn godfather to her kids#I 100% support everyone taking their own interpretations from the episodes-#but I often see ''Martyn and Cleo hate each other'' and I wonder ''Did we even watch the same thing?''#and with so many POVs that only see them from the outside perhaps we did not!! So consider... them. Let's rotate them <3#This post is about the sheer amount of 'Martyn dumps Cleo for Ren' fics tagged Martyn/Cleo vs. minimal affectionate fics. help??#also fics where Martyn/Mumbo was canon but Martyn claims he was never attracted to him- only Ren?? Fascinating.#sir can the whole plot be about that because hold up I feel like we should unpack your loveless marriage before you date Ren#I will 100% read a story about you charging into marriage with Mumbo and then going ''Uh I just made a big mistake.'' hilarious#I mean I'm not Ren but if my crush confessed he never loved his husband in the first place I feel like I'd have Questions#To each their own! And I for one greatly enjoy how much Martyn will chase Cleo without humbling himself. lol. idiot. get wrecked.#but just to be clear I am a huge fan of break-up 'fics and choosing to be with someone you want. ergo my interest in Grian/BigB#This post is about Martyn/Cleo and Grian/BigB being fandom rarepairs despite having canon interest in each other#which is 100% fine because everyone should write what they want but!! Come rotate them with me because they are so fun and silly#Grian the man who deliberately cuts comments about Grian/Scar and Martyn/Mumbo from his vids but pursues BigB?? hilarious#In-universe this man went from ''Romance? I do not see it'' to ''Actually I want the cute cookie man'' and took the leap??#Yes king tell me more about this journey of self-discovery. I am aspec-beam'ing you.#Anyway. Need more Martyn/Cleo in my life which is why I'm writing fics of that and other people write fics about what they like <3#but sometimes people don't like it when I pair Martyn and Cleo because ''They hate each other'' and I laugh sfdlkj
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in MDZS the novel, the innkeeper in Yunping mentions that people are too scared to go petition Yunmeng Jiang for help because someone once walked in on Sect Leader Jiang whipping a guy in the main hall, supposedly because the guy was a demonic cultivator.
#mdzs#jiang cheng#wei wuxian#jc apologism#anyways as you can hopefully tell by now this is a jc stan blog.#so as a stan i will do my rightful stan duty and insist that my fave did nothing wrong#so. onwards. the “jiang cheng tortures demonic cultivators” claim is interesting on several levels#because we don't see it happen onscreen. and because thematically mdzs is a book about the unreliability of rumors#especially when said rumors conform to your preexisting understanding of someone. or what you want to hear about someone#it would have been so easy for mxtx to include a scene where jc tortures a demonic cultivator onscreen. i would love to read it too#but that doesnt happen. when jc actually corners wwx he just shoves a dog in his face and bullies him emotionally#smh jc get your shit together!! what is this lame ass display?? not living up to your reputation here loser#anyways. tbh i consider two things separately: 1. mxtx's intentions. and 2. what the text itself implies#for 1. i am legitimately unsure of what to think. mxtx relies on rumors/empathy/etc to give us info about side characters#in part because she's constrained herself to writing from wwx's perspective and has no other easy way of getting the info to us#does she intend for us to question the rumors? or are we supposed to take them as fact because of the narration limits described?#2. what the text itself implies is not necessarily the same as what mxtx intends.#for me mdzs is in part a story about the unreliability of rumors and reputation etc etc. other meta writers than i have explained it better#so for the work to go “all the rumors about wwx were exaggerated/manipulated/not 100% correct.”#“but the rumors about everyone else are 100% true!!!!!”#is peak stupidity. and shit-tier writing#and i actually like mdzs so i would like to believe the writer is more intelligent than that#thus. i conclude in part due to this emotional necessity of mine that there must have been something more going on#anyways. i have similar opinions about the “did jiggy kill rusong” business but that's a post for later#ill probably put my jc torture opinions in their own post some day#yanyan polls
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no actually I’d like to hear your thoughts on the isat ending
Like i said it felt really tropey and by that i meant that it’s just Everything Good Happens forever and…..that’s it ? like idk we were building up to this huge catharsis sort of thing and then we got to it and it was so sudden and not a good payoff and just kind of nothingburger of an ending . the fact that everyone just forgives siffrin bothers me, or at least the fact that they don’t confront them about the shit they’ve said and done. call me a mental illness villainizer but i think if you’re a fucking asshole and doing the most insensitive things to the people you care about then hey, i think those ppl have a right to fucking tell you off for it. likeeee idk being at your lowest point …… not an excuse …. not feeling it chief ……. like sure the message is to move past your mistakes or whatever but ? that doesn’t mean just getting away with it ??? and i just really don’t understand Why everyone forgives him. honestly at the end of the day the ending is just one problem, the root of which are the characters. everyone feels like trope cardboard cutouts. oh, this is the smart one. this is the smol bean. this is the himbo. and they all care for each other btw. Did u hear that? they all care for each other. we’re not really going to explain to you why these people are so close or what they went through together but just trust me man they’re sooo found famy. like …. okay. i’ve played 30 hours of this game and not once did i buy that any of the characters really cared about each other. like??? why???? You’re telling me everyone super cares about siffrin even though they barely know them?? you’re telling me siffrin cares about everyone sooo much even though he never even bothered to find out their problems before ? Wat ? and this just breaks the ending more because literally whyyy do these people care about him so bad. and then it’s just whyyy does siffrin Have to tell them anything he doesn’t even seem to know them that well. everyone feels like colleagues and Just Friends at best. and so the ending just seems really forced. like it was written by that type of tumblr user who’s always talking about aww why does the found family have to break up after the end of the journey :( which is like fiiiiine. i guess. but u guys know that u have to build up to it right?? you can’t just tell me they’re Family Members(tm) 102829 times and that they super care about each other source: trust. you can’t just do that and then expect me to believe it ….. It feels unearned. the ending feels unearned and i don’ttttt understand what i’m supposed to take away from it . that it’s ok to fuck people up because you’re traumatized and insecure?? that you have to talk about your deepest problems with people you barely know??? i just dont know. Like i said if im being honest the problems with this game’s writing are more than just the ending, it just stands out so much because there’s a lot of build up and then just …… That
#honest to god if you want a Good Example of a story like this just look at dungeon meshi#we start the story from the end of the characters’ journey. they all don’t know each other very well and they’re just working together#hell they don’t even like each other that much. And then as the story develops and they go through their journey we get to see them bond and#get closer and fight and make up and admit they care about each other and still be mad at each other#nobody even gives a fuck about laios at the beginning of the story but by the end of it they’re all willing to die for him. THAT feels#earned. when marcille super fucks up and everyone tells her off for it but still wants to just make sure she’s ok That feels earned#like honest to god i’d take marcille’s arc any day than whatever’s siffrin going on#i just feel like this game suffers from a chronic Tell Dont Show syndrome. we get old over and over again that these characters are close#told*#and that they care about each other. And that’s just ….. not a way to write a story ………#when all the characters exist just to comfort the Whump Main it’s like how am i supposed to get invested. in any of this#u know when the dev replied to someone who was asking them how to write a story and they just said ‘glue your fav tropes together until it#becomes a story’? Well i think that is isat’s main problem. it’s not really a story. it doesn’t really have characters#it’s just a bunch of tropes in a trench coat. And let me tell u that is notttt how you make a story. at all. at all#anyways this was supposed to be about the ending but this story just has so many inherent problems i could critique it forever🤷♂️ my badddd#it’s fun as a game and it’s Fine as a story but at the end of the day it just reads like fix-it fanfiction to me#which is not Bad on its own but i wish people would at least recognize how the story is kind of built on sticks#cramswering
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if you call himmel pathetic i'm throwing hands at you. himmel showed the purest form of love for frieren and you guys think that's pathetic? what's pathetic is not respect other people's feelings or boundaries and acting like people owe you anything just because you like them. himmel was happy to have a friendship with frieren within her own conditions just because he genuinely enjoyed her as part of his life. he was happy to wait for her for his entire life is he had to but he also never stopped living for himself. that's fucking beautiful. loving someone so much you are able to let them go, not wanting to change who they are or impose anything on them? unconditionally, nonetheless? that's the point of life.
#either platonically or romantically having people genuinely appreciate you and having genuine connections with people is what makes life#worth living#frieren is a beautiful show about loss grief and how people change you just by being present in your life how they add to your life how#your true friends inspire you and how we keep each other's memories alive how love is timeless despite the finality of our human condition#and you tell me himmel is pathetic?#what a joke#i'm biting himmel haters like an enraged chihuahua#infection you with the power of love so you understand that loving makes the world more beautiful#besides frieren not understanding her own feelings at the time she always cared for himmel and the others as well#she just took more time to learn how to reciprocate and demonstrate the importance they had for her#because she isn't humans which is normal#a big part of life for everyone is having regrets and wishing it wasn't too late#frieren explores that perfectly#the friendships in that story are so pure and well nurtured#it's a shame internet culture rotted your brains so much that you think there's something inherently wrong with having unrequited feelings#and being okay with it#it's a shame you reduce such a genuinely good character who proved his will was above anything mystical to a 'simp'#anyways. himmel stays winning.#he put a ring on it too like imagine thinking he's losing when frieren is having dead wife flashbacks of him the entire show
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Ep 5!!!
#Episodes that make me go “The author has never talked with a woman ever” 😓😓😓#I don't like how Lucy's character is handled at all. And I feel like I can't talk about it because I'm just going to sound like a bitter–#ss/kk shipper... But I really don't like it. And if it can help my case I'm a multishipper so I really don't take any–#issues with atsu/lucy I like the ship quite a lot actually.#So you're telling me there's this girl... Who meets this boy who pretty much ruined her life by directly causing her to lose her job...#And the next time she sees him she's going to sacrifice her own freedom for him as well as tell him ���when you're done doing your things–#come and save me” (longest ewwww ever)... And when she regains freedom (author didn't bother to explain how because they don't care)–#she goes to work... As a waitress at the café beneath his workplace. So he can keep doing his Cool Superpowers Job while she literally–#must serve him every time he visits the place. It's just ?????????????????????????????????#Look‚ I don't dislike Lucy and I feel general affection towards her. It's just that they make her act like no one ever would#Just for the sake of the plot I guess#And like I knoww it's (probably just a little) more nuanced than that. I know Lucy is living her own fairy tale fantasy.#It's just that what I've said about her story is still true‚ you know?#I'm sorry but as sweet as atsu/lucy can be. I really hate the author for making Lucy a waitress. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.#It's so weird. This anime has women writing standards that feel like dating back to the 20s#Same with Katai and the ideal woman tbh. Like why are women to be seen as this abstract impersonal entities? Why can't they just be people?#Ideal for WHO. It's like super screwed up of a concept. What even is an ideal woman? What does it mean to be a woman anyways?#They just want to say “ideal wife”. But women aren't made to be wives their existence isn't functional to another person.#Sorry. I derail. Next episode is going to be even worse on this front ughhhh#Back to the episode: once again it really shows they were running out of budget with this season‚‚‚ the animation looks very suffered#Too many flashback also... I feel bad for the animators tbh#I don't really like the shift in art style :( Not even Atsushi I found particularly pretty this episode my heart cries#The nail pulling thing made me feel like throwing up afhsjyabfsbfwasfvb I feel like I can bear worse gore but there's a couple of little–#specific things I can't stand and this seems to be one of them pffftttt#I like Higuchi I think she's both very funny and cool. I really wish she was explored more (but then again looking at Teruko... )#The relationship between Kunikida and Katai looks so interesting even though we only get glimpses of it. Kunikida regrets Katai leaving–#the ada but is also happy for him but also worries for him. He comes to his house seemingly to check on him and starts cleaning around.#The way he loves him and cherishes their friendship and shared history is really evident and it makes for a compelling dynamic.#Perhaps I should read their short story... In any case. Going to someone's house and compulsively start doing the dishes half out of will–#to help out half because he can't bear the mess sounds a lot like something I'd do lol
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hiii! i just wanted to reach out n let you know that i just spent the last few days speed reading all your ao3 work bc i literally couldn't put it down. the way you write dick really just scratches my brain in the best way possible. he's a little (read: very) neurotic and it just. his motivations are so clear in your work, not in the sense that there isn't tension and anxiety but in that his core personality, his drive to help and the anger and trauma that has built him, his need to always be performing and catering to those around him, it comes across sososososos SO well. he was the first character that got me into comics and since then i've kinda stopped reading him bc i have lots of issues w tom taylors run (not the point so i digress) but you have really inspired me to go back and read more of his old stuff so thank you! you have such a clear grasp on his character and its something i admire very much! ur very very talented! and i really appreciate you sharing ur art! hope ur doin well :)
HI THIS IS SUCH A NICE COMPLIMENT???? <3333 This is so nice & sweet & it made my whole day!!! THANK YOU I AM HUGGING YOU ACROSS THE INTERNET AHHHHHH
he's a little (read: very) neurotic and it just. his motivations are so clear in your work, not in the sense that there isn't tension and anxiety but in that his core personality, his drive to help and the anger and trauma that has built him, his need to always be performing and catering to those around him
YEAH IT's HIMMMM i love this description <333
THANK YOU YOU ARE LOVELY & KIND PLS ACCEPT THIS DOG PICTURE AS TOKEN OF MY GRATITUDE
#YEAH he's fascinating to me because he can do casual cheeriness sometimes and mmm like. it's not like it's FAKE#it's real!! when he's relaxed & joking around he is relaxed. he's not deliberately disingenuous#and he gets a huge kick out of performing a lot of the time!! like. nobody is holding a gun to his head making him tell stupid puns#tim takes every opportunity to put his version of robin in the shadows whereas dick's impulse is to be center stage#AND YET!! AND YET!!! also he is also so so so sooooo neurotic#and he's SO PRIVATE and every time he's upset he compulsively keeps other people at a distance#and yeahhhh the performing!!!#it's interesting to me mmm okay look obviously all these characters are Very Very Different From Me in a lot of ways#but with performance specifically i have done things where performance is a major part of the job#and it's something i enjoy a lot! but it's something i enjoy paradoxically because i am myself pretty private#and part of what's fun about performing at least for me is that it's so mediated & so there's an escapist element#nobody is expecting your true self. like. it's not like lying exactly so much as being someone else for a while#and it can be a real relief to be someone else for a while & to help people when your own life is going badly#...but also the habit of instinctively keeping other people at a distance can be like. bad for you if you let it get out of control#and the way that both dick & tim relate to performance-as-escape is a big part of why those two characters click for me so hard#it's part of why i like superhero stories in basically all their forms?? that metaphor of the masks you wear etc etc etc#anyway he is delightful i am glad you like him too and i am very glad you like the stories <333#click this tag in case of sadness
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Something seriously lacking in my art is the ability to tell a story in a single illustration.
I've gotten so used to drawing my characters standing around doing random things that I've never practiced telling a full tale/putting implications into my pieces that require more thinking/looking.
It also comes from a lower amount of details in my works by default [since I like to get pieces done fast], but I'm tired of using that as an excuse.
#vent#kinda#sorry I'm just having a rough one tonight but I'll recover lmao#I think the AI art thing is really getting to me cuz like.#Anyone can make pretty images if they study and practice hard enough#[not to detract from people who don't tell stories with their images!]#but something in my brain wants to fight back because AI will never be able to Tell a Story through its images.#It can't make narrative choices through its regurgitation of random elements. It will never tell a cohesive and interesting tale through#detail choice#the worst it can do is create surface-level 'pretty' images by smashing together a bunch of mushed up information#but storytelling? that's human touch#that's intention. Thought. Choices.#and idk it's really bothering me lately that my images almost never... 'say' anything about a character.#this does not apply to anyone else's art I look at#it's just a standard I'm starting to feel my head apply to my own work and nobody else's.#which I'm taking as a sign that this is something I'm unsatisfied with#but the thought of starting to develop a completely new skill like that? terrifyingly daunting.#Sorry for the wall of tags I'm havin' some hella moodswings tonight#happens a lot when I get inspired by art I see#which I'm trying to work on but yaknow#it's a long process#anyways how's your night goin#I'm gonna cheer myself up by eating some amazing asparagus casserole
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Her. An Essay.
The spring air lies heavy in your lungs as you breathe in deeply, the bright smells assault your nose and waves of nostalgia roll off the hills. You know this is her favorite season so you’ve dressed prepared for the chill in the air.
It's a long walk to the meadow with a shovel in hand and wheelbarrow pushed in front of you, but you do it. When you get there, a girl smiles up at you from where she is playing in the grass.
You know her age, but do not say it. You know her name, but do not say it. You know her, but do not say it.
She says hello in that sweet mellow tone that sounds so foreign yet so similar and tastes like syrup on your tongue. Her eyes are wide and shining, but blissfully not tear stained- like your own- and her cheeks are round with a warm flush as her smile softens.
You do not meet her eyes, those same beautifully colored eyes that match yours, searching for a hint as to what you’re doing here. You gaze across the meadow instead but still catch a glimpse of her blue denim overalls and green shirt.
They match your own in a way.
You finally say hi back and take the shovel to the dirt under a beautifully perfect sycamore tree that arches into the sky; it rises before the two of you, right in the middle of the meadow. The dirt stains your clothes as you drop to your knees, using your hands more than the shovel to dig at the layered earth.
You hear soft footsteps behind you but don’t look up from your work. To your side you see the girl walk up to you again and she places a small flower behind your ear before grinning and moving to lay in the sun near you.
You pluck the flower out from behind your ear to examine it. A white petunia. A wistful familiarity to the flower washes over you and you tuck it back behind your ear before moving back to the freshly unearthed dirt.
You can feel her watching as you dig this pit, you hate the feeling of dirt under your fingernails. The mud cakes on your hands and crackles with every movement; it makes your skin crawl but you don’t give up now. After a small hole is dug, you grab the large stone and tools brought in the wheelbarrow and begin to carve. She sits next to you now, her smaller hands grip a rock in her own palms and she plays with it gently.
You carve a name you didn’t think you’d ever write again into the rock and place it at the top of the pit. She recognizes the name, tips her head smiling gently, and in an understanding manner she stands up.
And walks away. Around the back of the sycamore tree she disappears and then reappears.
She plucks a sycamore leaf off the ground when she´s visible again and looks up as you smile at her. She drops the leaf into the hole you've dug, then helps you repack the layers of sediment that you both know you’ll unearth again, in the future, to be intertwined together in the end.
But not now. Now, the earth is resealed and she smiles sweetly, laying a makeshift bouquet of petunias and poppies with a gentle hand.
You get up and hold a hand out for her, she doesn't look away from the earth you've both just moved and instead runs her hands over the top of the rocks again before sighing with a big smile. She gets up and grabs your hand, it's so much smaller and softer than yours yet you can still feel the dirt on both of your hands.
She grips your hand a little tighter, following your lead as you walk towards home, flower still tucked behind your ear you notice a matching flower behind her own. And you smile.
When you get closer to the house, her eyes are wide with soft recognition, a place so familiar to the both of you yet it feels cold and empty at the same time. You invite her inside again, it's been so long for you both, still the house is like an old friend, in a way. You hold open the door and she steps through.
She walks over to the dinner table and sits down at the far side, gesturing for you to sit on the other but you shake your head politely.
You aren't ready yet.
You ask if she’d like a drink, and she nods. You already know what she would like so you don’t have to wait for her to tell you. Passing over the tall glass with ice clinking in it feels like a ritual. You don't want to let go. You do. You sit down across from her.
You know what's coming next and it's hard. You know you have to accept it. Losing her again won't be easy but you know it's not permanent this time.
She takes small sips of her drink, smiling over to you but neither of you attempt to make small talk anymore, you both know how the interaction will end.
And it's not bittersweet. Neither of you are upset. She is content in a way you don’t think you quite understand yet. But you think you feel complete, whole and peaceful for possibly the first time in your life.
It's enjoyable to watch her glowing eyes look at you with respect and admiration, to be able to grow into what you did makes her heart beat with something adjacent to love.
And as you leave the house, knowing you will be reunited in the end, to be buried in love & hate, happiness & anger, and warmth & heartache. You know it's love. It's always been love.
For her.
-Her. An Essay. (By me)
Happy trans visibility day. This is an ode to the girl I was. We will be buried together in the end. I love you, take care.
#scamera writes#scamera poems#original poem#trans day of visibility#transgender#lgbtq#tdov#wanted to post this one eventually and figured today wasnt a terrible day to do it#anyways. idk if it comes across properly but this is about being and not being the girl i was#and how she was herself and in order to be me i had to dig her grave and by god she helped#but we will be intertwined again in the end#(idk if That makes sense ! guys my brain works weird)#also yeah. this one is a long one <3 i do call it an essay dont i#and idk how happy i am with this (i cant tell if it Seems positive but its supposed to be kinda)#it still feels much too story based for what i want but im okay enough with it that i will post it (im not Overly happy with it)#i dont think it needs any tags? just in case though#ask to tag#okay#i love you all & happy tdov#your body is your own and you are lovely
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It dawns on me that the journey to the west took 5,040 days exactly, right, and while the book goes from tribulation to tribulation, there were still only 81 of those. And they were missing one when they got there. And some of the tribulations Tripitaka went through happened before the journey even started.
So, even being generous and saying that most of the tribulations that occurred during the actual journey could be said to have taken a few days to handle each, that's still only about 10% of the journey. A tribulation was anything that happened that put Tripitaka in danger or presented any sort of obstacle to him. Anything even remotely exciting would have fallen into that ~10%, and nothing else could have happened, because otherwise they wouldn't have gotten west one moderate inconvenience and/or major trauma short of the prize. (I mean, unless the thing that happened managed to not involve Tripitaka at all in any way, but that's very hard to do when you are all attached at the hip.)
Holy cow they really were just walking. ALL THAT TIME. No wonder Zhu Bajie was stirring the pot at any given opportunity. It was literally the only thing to do.
#jttw personal#how did they not kill each other#I was thinking about this while still picking at chapter 27#tripitaka was super gullible in that chapter in a sort of inexcusable way but also#it sooooort of makes sense when you think like#statistically#across the whole journey they could have gone moooonths between demons#years even#and suddenly sun wukong's claiming to have killed 3 (they didn't know it was the same demon) in a row in one morning?#even if tripitaka HAD believed him (or just harbored doubts) after the first one how likely was it the second was the case? or the THIRD?#obviously the evidence was in his face but couple the idea that their encounters with demons were actually SUPER rare#with the fact that tripitaka still had major trust issues with sun wukong from the fact he HAD trusted sun wukong previously#only to have that trust pretty solidly broken#and tripitaka's probably operating on a level of 'fool me once' hyper-vigilance against him that actually makes zhu bajie seem reasonable#I mean who are you going to trust? you and your own shitty judgement when you've already been wrong about the guy once before?#or the DEMON who probably knows more about DEMON MAGIC than you?#tripitaka's got TWO expert consults telling him two wildly opposing things but only ONE of them's seriously burned him in the past#(while the third expert consult and tie-breaker is notably abstaining. gdit sha wujing.)#anyway the characterization here is actually really good#tripitaka doesn't know the story framing - WE know something's up because otherwise we wouldn't have a story about it -#but tripitaka doesn't realize he's in a book#and I'm just saying tripitaka is being less foolish than the meta knowledge of being The Reader makes him seem#still a total brat though#he's definitely letting his own pride and hurt (and like...trauma) bias him against sun wukong unfairly#which is something he needs to work on and IS something that he pays for#(even with the bandits: expecting sun wukong to behave to tripitaka's standards of morality prior to TEACHING him those standards)#(wasn't fair. but also when he *tried* to address it sun wukong got angry and took off. and then tried to kill him. so.)#it's just interesting and whoever told this story originally was clearly putting a lot of thought into what it would be like#to actually be in these guys' shoes. Like ugh. HOW is this book so good?
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hey uh hot take here but if your hc is that a canonically pansexual/bisexual character is actually gay, even when the creator explicitly says otherwise, your opinion is wrong. sorry i don't make the rules
#i have HAD IT let me tell you#yes this is about blitzø#“oh but we only see him have romantic feelings for men”#1. well we only saw two of his relationships on screen so yeah there's an approximately 25% chance of that happening#2. his female ex is a recurring character and just bc they hate each other now doesn't mean they didn't have a connection when they dated#3. being bi/pan is not 'less queer' than being gay/lesbian and does not take away from your precious little m/m ship at all#4. it costs you NOTHING to just. not rewrite pansexuality out of the story for your own comfort#5. why does it bother you that a character is bi/pan? ask yourself that please#funnily enough i've never seen anyone try to argue that moxxie isn't bi but he's married to a woman#apparently when it's a hetero-presenting relationship being bi is fine bc it's like. a character trait#but when it's a queer-presenting relationship it can't possibly be true#don't mind me i'm just steamed atm#fr though having your headcanons is totally cool but i hate how much i see this one argued SO PASSIONATELY#like. just let bi/pan people have something. pls. it costs you nothing#anyway back to bed#bagelthoughts
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https://www.tumblr.com/tobi-smp/765541010649530368/tobi-ctommy-lore-in-2024?source=share
I can't decide what you want me to say... I mean I think I covered all the points of why this doesn't work already... in fact I’d say half of that roleplay seems like there like literal feelings as ccJack expresses when he first logs on, and the other half seems to be ccTommy trying to retcon stuff to please his fans in with ccJack actually outright disagreeing with him. Mind you I planned on watching it but honestly Tommy’s comment about op pissed me off to the point that I didn’t care, however given that comment and Jack logging on as a joke to begin with that sets the tone for this to take place and that context is important. Also, Jack literally spawns in the prison so let’s say we are retconning shit, what are we retconning? Because the bench was in prison, Jack was in prison with his first statement being basically ‘bet you didn’t expect to see me be here again’ framing things as we’d expect taking place right after the finale for Jack. And if he’s in the prison then that lore took place, meaning Jack set off the nukes like he says so in the messages. So, we can’t retcon the finale it happened and that’s why Jack is where he is, what you are changing is the potential aftermath. However that still doesn’t make sense to me. If the Incident stopped the nukes and the Egg, then if they have their memories and are wandering around as if things never restarted then presumably the Incident didn’t happen, but if that didn’t happen, then the nuke and Egg wouldn’t have been stopped so they’d be dead… right?… unless we gotta recon allll that lore — oops but wait we can’t because Jack literally spawned next to the bench Tubbo placed in the prison so that lore has to be canon to make sense… so then we are back to the Incident Had to happen to stop the nuke and if it did happen then we do some speculation and such and say everyone left and Tommy and Jack stayed, which again more work than accepting the actual lore.
Also - who is Tubbo selling honey to if everyone is gone? - and if people could leave this whole time why didn’t they before? (Unless we just mean leave the area aka the start at their Incident houses?)… which in that case everyone didn’t leave, Tommy left and went back to the dsmp area and presumably not many followed… like I just it doesn’t make sense, I want to be on your side innitors I really do, I want to understand you, in the same way I want to understand why retconning the staged finale makes sense to people, but this finale just doesn’t work. It’s closer to George’s whole stream that turned out to be a dream… like it’s this same thing like staged finale, where people take the part of the lore that aligns with their narrative, not taking all the truth just the bits they like. And that’s just a headcanon/fanfiction at that point. Just because you took lore doesn’t make it true, you took some of the facts but not all of them to use it to fit your idea but that doesn’t mean it actuality fits your idea. And spreading posts with screenshots with no links to videos or clips or full context just - OMG Jack and Tommy did lore and retconned the finale - which is not what happened. Context is important, in the same way reading someone’s posts without the connecting ones or months later can become harmful to people. It’s taking things out of context and then cutting off the edges to make it say what you want. Like it’s a huge part of the political problems right now because people can’t even agree on the damn facts.
Why? Because this right here. This grabbing things that align with your beliefs and ignoring the other facts and logic that contradicts it. It’s the picking and choosing - oh I like this lore so that’s canon but I don’t like this so that’s not canon - It’s shaping the truth to fit your narrative and claiming it’s still truth even when it no longer fits. Tommy burning down Tubbo’s house doesn’t align with how you view Tommy as this golden boy -> oh it’s not canon. Dream pretending to be evil to get put in prison -> yea that’s not canon. The finale where Tommy and Dream see eye to eye for the first time -> yeah that’s not canon. But this short convo a year later after the dsmp has officially ended, where Jack is literally disagreeing with him -> yea of course that’s the real canon.
It’s like taking a book and ripping out pages you don’t like and then glueing pages over the other ones in the end and trying to sell it as an original copy...
#and honestly I try to understand your scrape book copy of the dsmp but it doesn’t work… you aren’t telling a more coherent story…#dsmp#hello there#dream smp#discourse?#it’s like the people doing the Witcher tv and changing the all the like it’s just fanfiction at that point which is fine but call it like it#is it becomes no longer canon the moment you start picking and choosing what to keep and what to not keep… and honestly it sad to me because#I see this complex and fascinating and beautiful story contorted into a narrative strictly about healing from abuse and while that is a#theme - for Tommy- it isnt The Theme for the dsmp as other characters faced their own challenges and story arcs and such#just because you watching everything through his pov and streams doesn’t make him the main character… just because he himself believes the#world revolves around him doesnt make it reality…#anyways I should stop… I’m gonna answer one more ask in my inbox and then let’s talk about something else… let the people who hate the#finale believe what they want to believe… we know it’s bs just like we know the staged finale is canon
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