#world revolves around him doesnt make it reality…

[bleue-flora]

https://www.tumblr.com/tobi-smp/765541010649530368/tobi-ctommy-lore-in-2024?source=share

I can't decide what you want me to say... I mean I think I covered all the points of why this doesn't work already... in fact I’d say half of that roleplay seems like there like literal feelings as ccJack expresses when he first logs on, and the other half seems to be ccTommy trying to retcon stuff to please his fans in with ccJack actually outright disagreeing with him. Mind you I planned on watching it but honestly Tommy’s comment about op pissed me off to the point that I didn’t care, however given that comment and Jack logging on as a joke to begin with that sets the tone for this to take place and that context is important. Also, Jack literally spawns in the prison so let’s say we are retconning shit, what are we retconning? Because the bench was in prison, Jack was in prison with his first statement being basically ‘bet you didn’t expect to see me be here again’ framing things as we’d expect taking place right after the finale for Jack. And if he’s in the prison then that lore took place, meaning Jack set off the nukes like he says so in the messages. So, we can’t retcon the finale it happened and that’s why Jack is where he is, what you are changing is the potential aftermath. However that still doesn’t make sense to me. If the Incident stopped the nukes and the Egg, then if they have their memories and are wandering around as if things never restarted then presumably the Incident didn’t happen, but if that didn’t happen, then the nuke and Egg wouldn’t have been stopped so they’d be dead… right?… unless we gotta recon allll that lore — oops but wait we can’t because Jack literally spawned next to the bench Tubbo placed in the prison so that lore has to be canon to make sense… so then we are back to the Incident Had to happen to stop the nuke and if it did happen then we do some speculation and such and say everyone left and Tommy and Jack stayed, which again more work than accepting the actual lore.

Also - who is Tubbo selling honey to if everyone is gone? - and if people could leave this whole time why didn’t they before? (Unless we just mean leave the area aka the start at their Incident houses?)… which in that case everyone didn’t leave, Tommy left and went back to the dsmp area and presumably not many followed… like I just it doesn’t make sense, I want to be on your side innitors I really do, I want to understand you, in the same way I want to understand why retconning the staged finale makes sense to people, but this finale just doesn’t work. It’s closer to George’s whole stream that turned out to be a dream… like it’s this same thing like staged finale, where people take the part of the lore that aligns with their narrative, not taking all the truth just the bits they like. And that’s just a headcanon/fanfiction at that point. Just because you took lore doesn’t make it true, you took some of the facts but not all of them to use it to fit your idea but that doesn’t mean it actuality fits your idea. And spreading posts with screenshots with no links to videos or clips or full context just - OMG Jack and Tommy did lore and retconned the finale - which is not what happened. Context is important, in the same way reading someone’s posts without the connecting ones or months later can become harmful to people. It’s taking things out of context and then cutting off the edges to make it say what you want. Like it’s a huge part of the political problems right now because people can’t even agree on the damn facts.

Why? Because this right here. This grabbing things that align with your beliefs and ignoring the other facts and logic that contradicts it. It’s the picking and choosing - oh I like this lore so that’s canon but I don’t like this so that’s not canon - It’s shaping the truth to fit your narrative and claiming it’s still truth even when it no longer fits. Tommy burning down Tubbo’s house doesn’t align with how you view Tommy as this golden boy -> oh it’s not canon. Dream pretending to be evil to get put in prison -> yea that’s not canon. The finale where Tommy and Dream see eye to eye for the first time -> yeah that’s not canon. But this short convo a year later after the dsmp has officially ended, where Jack is literally disagreeing with him -> yea of course that’s the real canon.

It’s like taking a book and ripping out pages you don’t like and then glueing pages over the other ones in the end and trying to sell it as an original copy...

[littlelamy]

hiiii i love your writing!!! so ive been thinking about kook!reader who wasnt as close with the pogues but since they got stuck on the island together it changed but now that they are in obx reader cant help but run back to rafe but she doesnt want to hurt the pogues but they end up finding out when jj or pope and cleo see her on the boat with rafe🐬 sorry its long

a/n: it's not long! i love this idea but i'm wondering if i should do a part two! thank you for sending a request🐳

you had never really thought of yourself as one of them. the pogues—jj, pope, kiara, and cleo—were the island’s outcasts, while you had grown up in the world of the kooks. your life revolved around yacht parties and designer clothes, and you were always aware of the invisible line that separated your world from theirs.

but everything changed when you found yourself stranded on that deserted island with them. a sudden storm had swept through, forcing your boat to capsize, and the only ones who could help were the pogues. at first, it felt awkward. you remembered their initial glances and snickers, feeling the weight of their judgment hanging in the air. but as the days turned into weeks, something shifted.

one evening, as the sun dipped below the horizon, painting the sky with hues of orange and pink, you and jj sat around a small fire you had managed to start. the warmth enveloped you, but the real comfort came from the easy conversation that flowed between you. jj had always been the wild one, the joker, but in this moment, he was something more—a friend.

“you know, y/n,” he said, poking the fire with a stick, “if you ever want to ditch the kooks, you’ve got a place with us. we could go full kook just to hang out with you.”

you laughed, surprised at the thought. “you’d go full kook? really?”

“absolutely,” jj grinned, his blue eyes sparkling with mischief. “i’ll make sure all of us go full kook. we’ll get some designer clothes and start hosting yacht parties in no time!”

“you’d look ridiculous in those clothes,” you teased, nudging him playfully.

“i can pull it off!” he shot back, pretending to strike a pose. the laughter that erupted felt so liberating, and you found yourself savoring this moment, this connection with someone who had once seemed so different from you.

but once the storm passed and the rescue came, you were thrust back into your old life. the glittering parties, the luxury cars, and the kook lifestyle beckoned you back like a siren song. and yet, in the back of your mind, the memories of those days on the island lingered, especially your growing feelings for rafe.

rafe cameron was a part of your past—complicated, messy, and often toxic. you had known him for years, and despite his flaws, there was an undeniable chemistry between you. when you found yourself back in the OBX, it was like you were magnetically pulled toward him, even if it meant crossing paths with the pogues again.

you knew the risks. rafe was not the type of guy who came with a warning label, but the thrill of being near him was intoxicating. when you finally met up with him at a party, the old sparks reignited. he swept you off your feet, and for a moment, everything felt right.

but the tension hung heavy in the air. the pogues had watched you transform during your time on the island, and you knew that they wouldn't take kindly to your rekindling things with rafe. still, you couldn’t help yourself. late-night rendezvous turned into boat rides and stolen kisses, and every time rafe pulled you closer, you felt more alive.

one evening, you and rafe were out on his boat, the waves gently rocking beneath you. you felt free, escaping the pressures of your reality. it was bliss—until it wasn’t. from the corner of your eye, you spotted a familiar figure on the shore. it was jj, followed closely by pope and cleo. your heart dropped.

“oh no,” you whispered, panic creeping in. “they can’t see us.”

“don’t worry about them,” rafe said, his tone casual. “just enjoy the moment.”

but it was too late. jj’s eyes widened in realization, and you could see him start to shout your name. you tried to duck down, but it was no use. cleo’s shocked expression said it all.

the moment was shattered. you quickly pulled away from rafe, your mind racing. “we have to go back.”

“why? let them think what they want,” rafe replied, a mix of annoyance and confusion crossing his face.

“because they don’t understand! they don’t know what it was like on that island. they think i’m just another kook!” you exclaimed, your heart racing. “they’ll never forgive me for this.”

you turned the boat back toward the shore, the laughter and music from the party fading into the background as you faced the reality of your choices. you had hurt your friends, and now you had to confront them.

as you pulled the boat up to the dock, jj, pope, and cleo stood waiting, their expressions a mix of anger and disappointment. you could feel your stomach knotting at the sight of them.

“what the hell, y/n?” jj shouted, stepping forward. “we thought you were different. we thought you were one of us.”

“you know it’s not like that,” you protested, stepping onto the dock. “you don’t understand what it’s like to be pulled back into that world. rafe... he’s complicated, but he makes me feel something.”

“and what about us?” pope interjected, his voice strained. “we were there for you when you needed us. and now you just run back to rafe?”

“no, no, that’s not what i meant. i just—” you struggled to find the right words, but the more you spoke, the worse it felt.

“it’s fine,” jj cut you off, shaking his head. “go. if you want to be a kook, be a kook. but don’t expect us to be here when you decide you want us back.”

the hurt in his voice struck you harder than you anticipated. you opened your mouth to say something, but the words caught in your throat. instead, you turned back toward the boat, tears stinging your eyes. you felt like you were losing everything—your past, your friends, and maybe even a part of yourself.

rafe was waiting, but as you looked back, the sight of the pogues’ disappointed faces made your heart ache. maybe the island had brought you all closer together, but now, it felt like the distance was too great to bridge. you didn’t know how to reconcile those two worlds, and as rafe started the engine, you realized you had to face the reality of your choices.

the waves lapped at the side of the boat as you sailed away, feeling more lost than ever. the thrill of being with rafe faded, and the memory of the pogues’ laughter echoed in your mind, leaving you questioning everything. was it worth it? or had you really lost them for good?

taglist (comment below if you want to be added): @namelesslosers @princessslutt @averyoceanblvd @iknowdatsrightbih @starkeysprincess @sixrosberg @anamiad00msday @ivysprophecy @wearemadeofstardust0

[therenobee]

what are the coolest dragons?

GUILD WARS 2 SPOILERS!!!!

Outside of D&D I think Guild Wars 2 has the best Dragons and uses them incredibly well, with each expac / living world season being dedicated to one of them at a time (with one exception)

Each Dragon in GW2 represents a kind of Metaphysical force on top of their respective flavour of magic, with each expac story revolving around how to destroy an Elder Dragon in a way that doesnt end up destroying the world by unleashing that concentrated primal energy that makes up the universe.

my two favorite of the group are Kralkatorrik and Mordremoth.

With Kralkatorrik, his whole deal is they represent Crystal and Fury- They have the power to pop in and out of the psudo-afterlife-time dimension called the Mysts and their Crystal breath turns you into a glass pincushion demon bound to their will.

One of the consequences of them being able to use the afterlife as a napping nook is the human gods nope the fuck out of reality leaving the human race AND THE HUMAN AFTERLIFE to fend for themselves leaving The Mummy from The Mummy (Played by Nolan North) to take free reign over godhood.

Oh btw they are fucking huge...

The sheer size of Kralkatorrik is insane- one quest has you flying inside of its maw, and its expac postgame zone is its entire body

And Kralkatorrik is not even the BIGGEST Elder Dragon (that tiny spec on the platform is a big metal golem)

So yeah, one expacs deal is trying to find a way to kill Titanus Doug in a way that doesnt end up breaking the firmament, plunging the whole of the physical realm into a primordial soup

(BTW not once... but TWICE can you have to fly into the maw of an Elder Dragon)

Now lets talk about Mordremoth, the Elder Dragon of Plants and Minds.

"Hey man, got any games in your brain?"

Now hold on, hear me out. Mordremoth is fucking sick as hell.

So after the main game, the first expac starts off with the main races starting a zeppelin crusade against Mordremoth, flying into their domain and blowing up every fiscus that even looks at you funny.

Which immediately goes to shit after 1/4 of the crusade goes insane.

One of the main races- One of the PLAYER RACES has their brains scrambled by Mordremoth because hey, they are plant people and Mordremoth's whole deal (who we know very little about at this point) is messing with plants and brain (Including plant King Arthur who is leading the crusade with LITERAL EXCALIBRE)

So his expac has you lead a nearly annihilated party of scouts across Uncle Fern's Naked Puzzle Greenhouse to his lair in the hopes of killing him and BREAKING HIS HOLD ON 1/4 OF THE GAMES POPULATION. The last stretch of which requires you to play a MOBA game against his Generals before reaching his true lair.

Now hold on, hear me out. It is a MOBA-like game... but you arent the heroes. You and 50 other players are the creep, the little things that get fucking gutted by try hards in League.

That picture above is just his psyche you have to fight inside plant King Arthur's mind, his physical form actually looks like this.

Also Lena Raine did their theme

[ultimateloserboy]

SONIC PRIME RAMBLES!!!!

SPOILERS FOR SEASON TWO AHEAD!!!

(sorry if the screenshots are a bit mushy i was taking them quick)

firstly of course id like to mention these two. i love how when sonic is playing around and talking to himself, shadow just nods along. he didnt tell sonic to shut the fuck up, he just waited until he got his zoomies out. he even slightly participated! i just love how when shadow is cooled down a bit he’s actually pretty used to sonic and doesnt mind his silliness, it only makes him genuinely upset when it’s not the right time or place. and sure this also isnt the right time or place, but seeing as hes been blessed with literal gay magic i think shadow mightve given him a pass. that or shadow is never actually as pissed as he tries to be. which i also believe, because he plays around during fights. i think hes having fun too. hes just trying to ignore it in favor of the overall mission, which is completely fair and is kinda needed. without shadow sonic would have no fucking clue what to do hed just be running around spitting off cheesy one liners like an idiot, but without sonic shadow would be all alone with nobody but space rocks and his pissy attitude. sonic does provide shadow with fun, and everyone needs a little fun and positivity. sonic makes him happy and keeps him entertained but he’d never admit that. they balance each other out in such a nice way. they need each other in more ways than one in my opinion.

this leads me into my favorite thing about this show: sonic is not simply the hero. he’s not just saving the day and that’s that like he thinks. it’s much more complicated. lots of people he’s met seem to have clashing opinions or views of the world, and that’s not a bad thing! most of rouges variants want to just hand over the shard and get it over with, which wouldnt help in the long run but is A REASONABLE THING TO THINK!!! shadow was never malicious he was just pissed off and he’s RIGHT! hell, i dont even think nine is wrong either!!! hes never even seen the reality that sonic is wishing for! all of these people simply want to be happy but theyre from completely different worlds in a very VERY dangerous situation, of course theres going to be conflict amongst people who ARENT the villains! because the world doesn’t revolve around sonic and in situations like these its hard to find a middle ground between COUNTLESS AMOUNTS OF PEOPLE FROM ALL AROUND THE MULTIVERSE!! i think it perfectly demonstrates how all of these people arent bad people, they simply dont view things the way sonic does and thats ok. theyre all just scared and confused and in a life or death situation. well, except for dread. that motherfuckers just crazy.

i do think nine should. maybe chill 😭😭. but i think sonic shouldve at least talked with the kid a bit more about the overall goal cuz damn. i like the parallel between shadow saying “theyre not your real friends.” and nine saying hes real. because shadow was right in a sense. nine is NOT tails. he’s REAL, sure, but hes not the real TAILS. he isnt the real tails and hes not sonics friend just because sonic knows a version of him. that doesnt mean they cant BE friends but sonic being quick to assume that nine will end up like tails was just wrong on his part. sonic was quick to assume so many things about nine because of his relation to tails, and he shouldn’t have done that. he should’ve listened to shadow. it’s all “ooo shadows such a fuckin debby downer party pooping asshole” until the universe still isnt put together and THEN people consider that yeah maybe he was a little right. harsh, but right. literally if shadow was able to go into those portals i promise you this shit wouldve been over before we even got a season two. like genuinely i feel like they keep shadow in the void simply because they need to prolong the season. and i love the content dont get me wrong but please just let him go with sonic that motherfucker really does need a babysitter. i think we need BOTH of them in the actual shatterspaces. like i said, they balance each other out. if shadow was to go on his own i honestly think he wouldnt do too good either. hed just ignore everyone else and try to get things done quickly without needing help and sure he might get a little far but eventually hed need the help and he wouldnt have it. so i think sonic and shadow together should finally be allowed to do this shit fully together so that shadow can do what he has to do and sonic can go around making friends with multiverse people and saving them from robots on the side. its a win-win people!!!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!

i do like the fact that shadows speed is artificial so it isnt the same as sonics, or at least thats what i like to think. i know hes stuck in the void because of the chaos control he did (i think) and sonics speed might not be the only factor but i do think its interesting how they cant do the same things

but truly i think the only reason the writers are keeping them seperate is because they know damn well if they teamed up full time theyd start kissing eventually

[spatio-rift]

mar i want to keep up w ur loreposting but idk there are aliens? is the alien story like new unrelated to kidou and friends or is it like related and how

IM SO SORRY LAB THIS SHOW IS CRAZY. are there aliens: kinda... but not really... but then yes. for the ones i talk about though then yes its related to kidou and friends :) putting the whole explanation under a read more cuz its... super long somehow

aliea are the antagonists of the second season/second game. its an organization that claims to come from a planet of the same name, and they suddenly launch an attack against japan as their first target in the destruction of earth. since theyre using soccer to invade earth, kidou & friends (and some more friends gained later on the way) are entrusted w the task of defeating the aliens, since theyre the new champions of this one national tournament and as such the best soccer team in the country (dont mind that theyre in middle school the inazuma world revolves around that age period. im gonna have to ask you to suspend your disbelief)...

...in reality though these "aliens" are human children all from the same orphanage owned by kira seijirou, head of the kira zaibatsu, who is mostly known for arms dealings, weapon manufacturing and such. kira lost his beloved son years ago when he went overseas for a soccer training camp and died there, which kira knew to be a murder, but since the perpetrator was a politicians son the whole affair was kept quiet and made out to be an unfortunate accident. despite the pressure kira put on them the government never investigated the case any further and the killer never paid for his act. drowning in his grief and anger kira started to resent the world.

(*) things were not moving much however until 5 years prior to the story (present time), when a meteorite with mysterious power crashed near mt fuji. to be honest im not sure about the extent of the governments involvement at the beginning of the project so ill just move on but the point is kira decides to use the meteorite for military ends, the prime minister doesnt approve of it going that far and cuts all ties w the kira zaibatsu (who was financially (? and more?) supporting them before). i think part of it is that kira was using it to force the government to reopen his dead sons case but im really not sure so dont take my word for it. anyway thats the last straw for kira so hes continuing his little project without the governments involvement, for the explicit purpose of using it against them (and also making profit off it on the side).

to come back to the aliens. basically the meteorite if used on humans greatly enhances their strength, speed etc(**) to a level that seems inhuman which is how the kids successfully fooled everyone into believing they were aliens. (and the kira technology that made it look like they were teleporting etc... all for the sake of making that illusion believable). and the kids are doing all this because theyre all orphans living at that orphanage that kira owns. its kind of unclear for the lower ranked teams (because theyre introduced and beaten before the truth comes to light, and they arent shown in orphanage flashbacks cuz the teams possibly were kept separate (?)), but the higher ones see kira as a father and savior which is why they willingly became his soldiers in his quest for revenge, and are devoted to him to the end despite knowing that what theyre doing is wrong. the way kira uses these childrens desperate love for him to turn them into weapons and doesnt thing of them as anything but tools for his personal revenge on the world is chilling honestly. the games better about this btw the anime has him change his mind way too fast. just saying.

errmm i dont really have anything more to say i think. i realize now that you maybe werent asking about the whole aliea lore so sorry (i like talking about it) but basically this is how the alien thing came to be and its related to kidou n everyone because theyre the bad guys raimon have to repeatedly fight against... oh i wanted to add aliea choosing to use soccer to destroy the world is really silly but kiras whole story (TO ME) recontextualizes it as something like. kira choosing to use the very thing that got his son killed to take revenge on the world that failed him... i think... well its very goofy but its fine if you dont think about it too much. HOPE THIS CLEARS IT UP A LITTLE FOR U...

also (*) sometime after his sons death and before the aliea meteorite crashes on earth kira started training the kids whod later become the team named genesis to be like... essentially his perfect child supersoldiers, probably as part of his revenge against the government? kind of unclear but also this is game only stuff so its fine to ignore it if you want. but i like it it makes me want to kms so i wanted to mention it

and (**) the meteorite also messes w peoples heads so it can be used to literally brainwash them :) this is why i mention brainwashing so much in my posts its a major plot point in at least 2 chapters of the story (one of which directly involves kidou since its his besties being brainwashed into hating his guts lol). shit is going down in the middle school soccer world

[rosykims]

💯 🧐 🤍 for elspeth!

💯 HUNDRED POINTS SYMBOL — share three random facts about your oc that others may not know.

elspeth grew up on the coast and is very enamored with the sea, so its a point of great disappointment to her that she actually doesnt like sailing that much lol, solely bc she gets super seasick!!! her family used to tease her relentlessly bc they KNOW its a weak spot in her usually infallible sense of cousland pride, but alas. she makes up for it by being an avid swimmer and spending a lot of her nights drinking with ferelden/marcher sailors lmao (prior to howe's attack)

she excels at sword combat more than anything (she's wielded dual long swords in dao since i first designed her character, but for consistency's sake i recently changed her to a great sword girly since warriors cant dual wield in later titles) . that being said fun fact she's also very adept with a crossbow. varric would be proud tbh. this came about naturally as a result of years and years of hunting expeditions with her father and loghain, usually on horseback. she's not a rapid fire archer and her skills with a bow are pretty abysmal so she wouldnt last long against multiple enemies, but against single targets she can do a LOT of precision damage with a little time, half decent aim, and a few very large bolts lol

prior to dao, elspeth had never traveled anywhere outside of ferelden except for ostwick once when she was about 7 or 8 for the famous free marches grand tourney - which of course inspired her love for the tradition/sport of it. since they take place once every 3 years and move locations each time, she never had an opportunity to revist the event (which sort of suited her well because A. seasickness lol, and B. she's a homebody and feels pretty content to live and die in ferelden) but she HAD planned to fight in the tourney until the highever massacre soured the idea of it forever. now she tries to attend the event in between her grey warden travels and off-duty brooding, but she's more content to watch and appreciate the spectacle of it.

🤍 WHITE HEART — what are three of your oc's neutral/questionable traits?

i think she does kind of outgrow this but at the start of dao she is. ridiculously, comically naive. she had such a strong sense of good and evil, right and wrong, law and chaos, etc. and honestly also a bit of a superiority complex bc she truly believed she would turn out to be an unshakeable, unquestionably heroic figure that nobody could ever speak a bad word abt lol. then the blight happened and she joined the wardens and hey, turns out being a "hero" actually means making a LOT of shitty choices which usually end up hurting people, and youre rarely ever going to get recognition or thanks or appreciation for the pain youve endured (or inflicted). its a really hard reality check for her, but a necessary one i think.

she's a monarchist through and through, and she places a LOT of unnecessary value on bloodlines and lineage. it stems from just being a noble and having her whole world revolve around family names and heritage and land and titles and entitlement lol. also growing up with romanticized stories of her family and the other ferelden nobility fighting to end the occupation. so for that reason she DEEPLY believes a theirin needs to sit on the denerim throne (i mean, people in her family straight up DIED to get moira and later maric on the throne a few decades prior) and inevitably pushes alistair to become king at the end of dao. she also moves to make baelen king in orzammar despite disliking him SO much and finding him SO repellent lol, because her conviction and belief in monarchical systems outweighs her own doubts when push comes to shove

also her martyr complex :/ elspeth wants to be a hero. she wants to be good, and dutiful and honorable and strong. and i think the trauma and grief she's carried since the blight has caused her to always fall just short of those feelings, and so she uses self sacrifice as a crutch in a way to cope with that. she honestly views suffering as a sort of catharsis during and after the blight, as if it atones for all the difficult choices shes made and the horrible things she couldnt prevent. she deliberately self sabotages good things in her life because she believes she doesnt deserve them, or usually because she thinks shes doing the "honorable" thing in one way or another. again as an example, making alistair king. outside of the monarchist viewpoint, she also does it because she truly believes she's protecting him from dying in the grey wardens. even though thats not her choice to make, she throws away a happy normal life with him because even the possibility of losing him scares her so much

🧐 FACE WITH MONOCLE — is your oc more logical or emotional?

this is a hard one! honestly, i think both sides of the coin have their pros and cons and i think its better to be strictly on one side or the other bc at least then your motives are consistent. the problem with elspeth is that shes too emotional to be considered logical, and too logical to be considered emotional. which leads her to making a lot of hypocritical choices and then developing a boatload of insecurity about her own flawed belief systems. eg: she's wary of magic and mages in general, and although she advocates for their rights and is firmly pro mage during the da2/dai conflict, she dislikes apostasy and detests blood magic. or at least WHEN OTHER PEOPLE DO IT lol. she allowed connor to die in redcliffe bc she didnt trust jowan to perform the ritual, which has obviously weighed on her conscience ever since. especially because, only a few months later, she allowed morrigan to perform god-knows-what kind of taboo, blood magic-esque ritual to save alistair from potentially dying via archdemon.

shes a very complicated person. shes someone who really wants to be good, but also really wants to be right. and as she's gotten older those words have lost their meaning but not their value, and so it usually just ends up with her making impossible calls based on outdated beliefs she stubbornly clings to, and then torturing herself about it forever. yay !!!

[yuniuniyuni]

idk why he would want to be free of his shadows- it doesnt make sense to me. like not only are the shadows his first friends, theyre also part of HIM. he would have to change himself in order to fit in her reality/world or vice versa. and i would agree on him changing himself if he was a horrible human being but he’s not. he doesnt need a redemption story or anything like tht- his story needs to be revolve around him accepting and loving himself first before he can receive the love he truly deserves.

Azriel’s Shadows

If the fandom thought of Azriel’s Shadows like they are a persons pet dog and they saw their dog shy away and hide from the person they think they like I think the populace would tell you that’s a red flag and to not go further in the relationship with your partner. But if you see the “shadows” come out and play and introduce themselves to a person you just met but also like they would tell you that’s a good sign.

So Azriel’s shadows are afraid or cautious around Elain. They hide from her. Yet with Gwyn they come out and show curiosity, they reach out to play with the mist her breath gives off. They like her.

I just cannot read the Azriel Bonus Chapter and IGNORE the reaction and the actions of Azriel’s most important part of himself. His shadows are a part of his soul. They are sentient form of his soul. They are his first family, his true sibling, that kept him company in that dungeon. And his soul, his sibling is not comfortable around Elain. They are subconsciously telling the reader that this is not the person for Azriel to us readers.

Azriel is not looking to disconnect from his Shadows like the major Theory Suggests (that Elain’s light give Azriel a freedom from his shadows) he shows no desire to be free from them. I think if they did disappear he would be lost. He would be devastated. He would mourn them. He needs someone who is not afraid of them and who his shadows are not afraid of in return.

[thoughts-and-all-that]

my brother is such an entitled manbaby.

he constantly talks over everyone in any interaction and has to be right about everything because god forbid he be anything but an alpha.

i am literally afab and queer and this man has, on multiple occasions, tried to mansplain feminism and queer issues to me. i have dedicated many hours, days, weeks, months, years of my life to not only studying these two things but participating in that kind of life. im a feminist. im literally queer. i change my actions and wording to best fit because i know how important words can be. he talks just to talk.

ive barely seen him in months because hes always with his drama loving girlfriend, i mean, she literally defended the kardashians when i said they were garbage. she loves reality tv. she cant help but fight with another person whos usually in this house which is its own can of dumbass worms. shes nice to me but i barely know anything about her and i fear if i learn more ill probably hate her. i dont care that hes spending all that time with her, if it makes him happy, whatever. its just weird that ive basically said all of less than 100 words to him in months.

but honestly, even if we did hang out again, itll be the same song and dance as before. we only play what he plays. its only when he wants to cause god forbid he stop what hes doing for anyone else.

he says 'oh just come and hang out whenever!' but if i go down there he will just ignore me for his games and shit. god forbid he sacrifice a little of himself for me. ive been wanting to play the last chapter of a game with someone for months and hes the only person who ever played it with me and it takes ages in singleplayer. in another game he wont dare help me with a mission ive been needing done that i cant do on my own, cause it doesnt benefit him.

i dont think he even knows how to make more than a few dishes and he basically refuses to learn more, and i think ill probably see him dead before he dares make something that isnt ramen at home. he either eats out or insists our dad makes food and he throws a hissy fit if our dad doesnt make food or get food out.

man speaking of hissy fits, this man gets beyond pissed at every inconvenience. this is why hes a manbaby most of all. yelling, screaming, punching inanimate objects. he doesnt hurt other people directly but it ruins a mood pretty quick when someone throws a yelling tantrum over a game not working for 0.2 seconds.

he thinks the world revolves around him and refuses to entertain that maybe it doesnt. granted, our parents spoiled him when he was young, but i cant blame them. they went through something horrible around that time and simply didnt want him to suffer even though they were, and he still was cause it affected him too, but they didnt want that to ruin him. they were just trying their hardest to make sure he was happy.

its on him that hes an overgrown 12 year old. its on him that he doesnt dare take a look at himself and wonder if maybe he should tweak his personality just a little.

i say all of this over a seemingly petty recent happening, honestly.

i am miserable in my house. its a disgusting mess constantly and im always the one cleaning the worst parts aside from my dad and sometimes my other brother, though my other brother usually has to clean up after his kids, which is another point of frustration. i love those kids but its infuriating to deal with people who dont, and in this case, cant listen to you. theyre so young that english is mostly just sounds to them, theyre only just starting to learn how to speak. they cry over stupid shit, take off their diapers at every chance, and tear shit up. theyre the cause of most messes that arent in the kitchen, and even in the kitchen. outside of that stuff we are broke because of bullshit outside of our control, and i cant drive and dont have a job because im terrified that ill crash a car because its so overwhelming, or that getting a job will make me feel a way that i dont want to feel if i can help it, and i dont have any fucking real life friends, and barely any online ones anymore

all that to mean, i get no peace in my life. at every turn i run into something that makes me want to cry my eyes out and run away but theres no where i can run to. i hold tightly onto the smallest things that bring me relief, like my art, or the things i like to consume like shows and books and youtube videos about who knows what, and just. things i can control even a little. my room is the cleanest in the house in pretty much every aspect and i keep it that way with an iron fist.

and, to be gross, its nice to sit on the toilet and stare at my phone in the morning for a few minutes in a usually warm room that has very little going on (the most happening is trash on the floor.) and no ones gonna barge in and make me do who knows what instead of what i want. i know i sit in there a bit long but i mean, we literally have 2 bathrooms in this house, idc that you dont want to go into my dads room in the morning, just look the other way from him! hes asleep hes not gonna care!

and this guy who i have seen and talked to so few times in months, who i honestly at this point have wished would move out of this house for years for so many reasons, who made both times we went to six flags so obnoxious, one of them because he brought a fucking 2 year old to an amusement park in mid winter i mean seriously what the fuck did you think would happen,

he fucking tried to tell me how to use the bathroom? 'oh, stop being in there so long youre making people wait when they shouldnt have to' first off, theres two bathrooms, second off, i aint ever heard yalls asses fucking knock on that door to even tell me that someone was fucking waiting, and third off

shut the fuck up!!!!!!!!! im so tired of your entitled spoiled brat wannabe hillbilly ex military wannabe alpha ass. just shut up and move out already, jesus fucking christ.

asshole making me insecure about using the fucking toilet in my own home. ill fucking shit on your bed see how you feel about that.

theres an advantage to no one reading these posts on this blog that no one looks at. i really can say the stupidest shit.

plus, my family will never find this blog. none of them use tumblr, they would never look at the tags i use on this blog, and even if they saw this blog theyd never click on it. no one clicks on it, its a vent blog.

fuck you, brother. im sick of sacrificing myself for people who wouldnt fucking do the same for me. i got this mad over a petty thing but honestly it really is about the bigger picture. the picture paints someone id never associate with if i wasnt stuck with you by blood and household.

ill probably feel different later. i get so easily swayed by talking to people even though when im alone i always come to the same conclusion.

im fucking miserable here.

[constellaj]

top ten danny phantom episodes based solely on how gay dash is in them

i will not be ranking these based on plot, animation, or literally any other criteria ok here we go

10: Public Enemies

dash himself is not very gay in this one but danny does beat him up and he gets the angst of being possessed and not remembering what happens. also this screenshot is literally so gay

4/10 for wasted potential in proving dash is gay. this couldve gone so much harder. but bonus points for for passed out dash

9: Doctor’s Disorders

fellas is it gay to lock yourself in a bathroom stall so fenturd doesnt see the horrible monster youve become, tell him to ‘get away,’ and then pass out before being able to fight him despite being a school jock who could probably deal some damage and has a better immune system than the other kids? is it also gay to then when your entire life revolves around ghosts and having ghost powers to watch a sappy romcom while waiting for phantom to come save you? the answer is yes. 6/10 again it couldve gone harder

8: Frightmare

again dash himself isnt explicitly gay in this episode. but danny why is your ultimate dream scenario being best friends with dash and having him know your secret. it gets a higher rating than the other two bc its literally a wish fulfillment scenario aka 174% more gay. but mathematically speaking 2/10 for baiting me with dash in the first two minutes and then never bringing him back

7: Forever Phantom

“watch it, fentertainment tonight! i’m chasin’ a real somebody!” 10/10

also spending the entire episode devoted to hanging with phantom + another reference to the romance channel. not very nuanced but still very gay

6: Reality Trip

what do you think it means when the school jock finds out your secret, wastes exactly 0 time in helping you, and finds a way to shoehorn in giving you his clothes to wear while doing it. dash was only in this entire movie for like 4 minutes but damn if he wasnt homosexual for all of them 7/10

5: Ultimate Enemy

”but dash wasn’t even IN the ultimate enemy!!11!1!” EXACTLY. if older dash had been in the future with dark dan he simply would have smooched him and then there would have been no conflict. if younger dash had shown up to the big fight then dark dan wouldve broke down sobbing at what couldve been. they had to restrain dash from this entire episode bc of his power. 9/10 i know the truth.

4: Splitting Images

it is important to remember that dash has no goddamn idea that’s sidney. danny literally does 1 (one) nice thing for him and dash decides “ok well i will be his best friend and play football with him and be impressed by his skills and then throw a party and also put my hands on his shoulders several times.” this proves my point that if danny werent a little shit he and dash would already have been dating by the time the show starts. 8/10 for letting dash be mundanely gay instead of knowing anything about ghosts. it doesnt happen very often

3: Attack of the Killer Garage Sale

do you ever just get a tutor who happens to be the exact sister of that nerd you pick on and also call him a twink and then invite him to your party even though you do not have to and specifically tell him the dress code and get him at the popular kids table and then realize he might not have the money for the dress code so you intentionally seek him out to give him money for some computery thing you dont know about but you also also realize that probably isnt enough so last minute you change the entire dress code to something you know he has and wear his exact outfit to make him seem cool by comparison. do you ever do that.

also these two shots are back to back 10/10

2: Micro Management

the pièce de résistance of all dash content. im talking 20 minutes of nonstop dash. im talking taking every opportunity to talk about how cool phantom is. im talking abt getting grabbed by phantom to be saved by him. im talking abt having a mental breakdown cause you think youre not good enough. im talking about casually flirting via jokes. im talking being unable to stop thinking abt fenton even when youre face to face with your biggest hero. im talking about saying “we did it!!! :D” to cheer on said hero. im talking taking his hand. holding his hand. being lifted or pulled. im talking abt flipping the switch to save the day! im talking abt micro fucking management baybey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 12/10

but what in the goddamn world could have more gay dash than micro management??? well ill tell you

1: Pirate Radio

he SAVES him. he calls him a hero. they are on EQUAL FOOTING and they KNOW IT. they have MATCHING GODDAMN OUTFITS!!!!!!!!!!! dashs personality doesnt have to be absolutely scrapped for him to be gay (”but i will be wailing on you”) but he clearly DOES get better (”sorry, old habits.”) he puts his heart and soul into fighting side by side w danny and we dont even SEE dashs parents which means that is Not Exactly The Reason he Is Here. he also believes with 0 hesitation that fenton is capable of throwing a total rager. NO there is not as much dash here as in micro management but. i mean look at these screenshots. THIS is gay representation. THESE are some genuine fucking boyfriends. 18/10

[homicidal-rage]

no light no light / ORV interpretation

bc @boo-womp asked for my interpretation of the song- and like i know u didnt ask for a word wall but i got too passionate. lmao feel free to skim over. ill put a little tl;dr at the end. mega word jumble not going back to edit

i wont bother to explain all the events of the epilogue because theres just TOO much to cover but. in one way, you could have those lyrics being sung from joonghyuk to dokja with their sheer platonic love and mgfhsdmjfksn

like, the chorus. hits hard. "no light no light in your bright blue eyes i never knew daylight could be so violent".

there is something that joonghyuk says to dokja's 15 yo self, that he was the "most omniscient, yet powerless god", because through all of his childhood trauma his means of cope was escaping reality and absorbing himself so deep into fiction that his imagination made it real. and the 'i never knew daylight could be so violent' but is like, joonghyuk slowly discovers how much existing was harmful to this kid, to the point where he became the oldest dream.

and then like, the next lyrics, 'revalation int he night of day, you cant choose what stays and what fades away.' when dokja has to split his memories into two bodies so one could keep watching over the world, so everyone existing could continue living, eventually his memories start to fade to the point where he regresses back to his traumatised child self. AND. i sob so hard at this. 'and ill do anything to make you stay', from joonghyuk to dokja. this man. this man risks his bloody life so many times after chap 500 to bring his soul back to life. he drifts through space. for THREE YEARS. just so he can deliver a novel to kim dokjas reincarnated self in hopes he remembers his life, and through some wacky disconnected theory, comes back to them. he goes all in on trying to bring him back. hell do ANYTHING TO MAKE HIM STAY ARHUGHG.

and if i also talk about the author of the novel that he read for 13 years straight, han sooyoung, she created this novel despite knowing that it would cause an apocolypse and the end of the world. but she writes away anyway just so he doesnt die young. because that novel kept him alive. and in the process she created yoo joonghyuk, which began his regressions, and the chorus just reminds me of her devotion to keeping him alive for so long.

in a way that chorus is sung by all three of them- the reader (dokja), the protagonist (joonghuyk) and the writer (han sooyoung) because their love for each other all resolves around sacrifice. 'ill do anything to make you stay' SOBBING.

'han sooyoung wrote WOS just so kim dokja could read it.

and because dokja read WOS, joonghyuk began his regression.

because joonghyuk began his regression, han sooyoung was able to write WOS.'

its a cycle of sacrifice and this song just AAGHHHHH the emotion of desparation yet hopelessness in that song resides with me so hard. and then when you blast it loudly you just sob because none of them had a choice in this except for the means of sacrifice for each other.

and thats just the chorus <3

word wall over UwU

tl;dr the life of the three main protags of orv revolve around sacrifice and the chorus reminds me of it so much that i sobbed

[faelapis]

the handmaids tale, steven universe, and limited perspectives:

so i was rewatching the handmaids tale tv show with my gf, and i could write SO MANY essays about how turning offred into this badass resistance fighter misses the point of the original novel.

in the book, offred was robbed of her agency, but her life and perspective still matters. she matters even if she had no place in "great man history", was never a hero who saved anyone or changed the world. she was just an ordinary, powerless person caught up in a cruel society. she was never much of an activist beforehand either, and is now forced into a passive role - but even so, found little reasons to live, ways to cope and tell her story.

the shows use of flashbacks and multiple perspectives, while showing an interesting history, also frustrate me when they deviate from offreds sphere of knowledge. the book is told from the perspective of someone who doesnt know everything, who frustrates historians because she focuses on her own limited reality. she can't tell the full story of The regime and its Important Rulers. she can only tell her own, little life, because its the story of someone's powerlessness, who wants to believe her life can still matter.

and it does. her feelings and little moments of humanity do matter, even if she isn't able to change the world. we don't even get to know her fate, but that is the nature of powerlessness.

i feel comfortable posting this here because i can also connect it to SU pretty easily - yes, i understand the appeal of seeing a full chronicle of events told from every character's perspective, where no stone is unturned. where you can always "trust" a narrator to cover everything (and implicitly, cover it with the "right" moral perspective and be able to "objectively" tell you which facts are important enough to share) - but some stories have a point in not doing that.

there is value in having a singular perspective and commentating on those limitations. steven isn't perfect, and he can't be everything for everyone. he cares about the things that concern him. he is, in this way, as flawed and subjective as everyone else, neither above nor below them.

this is a big theme in a show whose climax revolves around a "perfect" person, believing themselves to fully understand others and know whats best for them, being brutally confronted with their own imperfections and the assumptions they make when trying to "make everything better". they cant know everything, be perfect or truly selfless, and so, they cannot justify revolving their life around "fixing" others... but that doesn't make you a monster. it just makes you flawed. no one else has true objectivity either, and so, we must forgive each other and ourselves.

am i talking about the finale of SU or SU future? you tell me.

first person stories and limited perspectives matter to me, as they often highlight the value AND limitations of individuals. we, the audience, are confronted with our own limitations and biases as we are denied being made 'objective' in our understanding. in the handmaids tale, it tells us about the importance of those who are small and powerless. in SU, it talks about how there is no singular objective or "perfect" perspective, just as there are no perfect characters... just the eyes we can and cannot see through.

[generalexcuse]

Alright. I am beating a dead horse here but taking time off of this show and fandom did not work. This will be the last time I ever say something about it but it’s upsetting to me so I need to vent. And to everyone saying “You are an adult man and this is fiction, why are you so obsessed? Weirdo. Learn to differentiate between fiction and reality.” I am going to address these notions as well as other problems I am having here. But really, Inuyasha was one of my first Anime, I have many dear memories and especially Rin was one of my all time favourite characters. Seeing her being mistreated like this upsets me. Ofc it does because if you watch something in formative years it’s not just fiction like a boring sitcom you watch now. Shows and characters are important to people and to simply dismiss it like that even if they would have been equally upset if it wouldnt have become canon, is infuriating. Really this is just therapeutic for me because even after weeks it’s still so baffling to me. Also please excuse the grammar and spelling mistakes. I am not a native speaker.

So the problem is obviously Sessrin and how it’s done because while I absolutely dont agree with this pairing, it would have been fine if it wasnt like it is. 

In the original show, Rin is an 8 yo child and her entire character reflects just that. She behaves like a child and depends on others. She has also been traumatized, doesnt speak at the beginning of the show and dies twice. Both times she is saved by or because of Sesshomaru. In many ways, while she has survival skills on her own, she depends on his presence alone to keep danger away. He also leaves her with trustworthy humans at the end but stays in her life as a protector. Now I like the original dynamic. It’s sweet, innocent and both characters grow because of it. Rin can work through her traumatic experiences, learns to trust others and Sesshomaru becomes a better person.  What happens afterwards only happens offscreen right until Rin gives birth to his children at the crippling old age of 15. 15. My lil sis is 16 now and couldnt consent to something like that. And she is mature af. It’s ridiculous. My blood boils just typing that shit out. And if you give me the ‘it’s legal in Japan’ excuse. In Germany a 14 yo can be with a 20 yo sexually. Still not okay in societies eyes and on tv it’s never shown as something positive. It’s even explicitly forbidden for authority figures like teachers or protectors to be with their protégé before the age of 18 because the chances of even unintentional grooming are too high. 

Now lets take a quick break and discuss how this kind of relationship usually plays out in other fictional pieces. A minor with an adult is something that is being portrayed at times and I dont have a problem with that. The problem is how it’s being done in Yashahime. And I dont mean the nonexisting character development but the fact that even in adult fiction this type of relationship isnt depicted positively. And this show is for young adults and teens that will exist way after all the discourse as the official sequel to Inuyasha. A cult anime. Meaning that in the future young people will watch it. Just like many still watch Inuyasha to this day. It’s on Netflix for fucks sake. Just to preface what comes next.   Some people say, “But cant you differentiate between reality and fiction?!?!?!” Adults can but younger people havent developed this ability to the same extent.   What happened to Rin was statutory r*pe in the USA, illegal even in Germany and should have been depicted as such unless the showrunners and fandom are okay with watching it without criticism or deconstruction. At best it was done with the intention to please the fanbase but really it’s neglectful to anyother part of the present and future audience. Not even most Animes do that. And I get that Sessriners arent into that shit in real life and an adult show could have gone this route because the viewers understand and add the criticism in their heads. Not ideal but whatever to me. But a YA show to go this route is so wrong on so many levels. The younger viewer who will watch this show in the following years might subconsciously internalize that this is acceptable under certain conditions when it’s not criticized properly on the show. That lowers their alertness when an adult actually starts to groom them. How dense do you have to be to assume that the lack of criticism on this YA show is a good thing?? Not everyone who will ever watch this show is an adult or capable of the same reasoning.

But another thing: for the same reason r*pe isnt depicted in a positive light, these types of relationships arent either. Because it’s not a positive thing and most people and showrunners dont want to see or create it as positive. Even in adult fiction, even in other anime, the media critizes and deconstructs what it’s showing because normally the showmakers dont approve but show it for realisitc or dramatic reasons. the same sessrin storyline would fit a fucking horror or thriller series. Just change the music and show it all. No showmakers in their right mind would go “Aye we got a r*pe scene coming up, lets put romantic music and have a pink filter over it.” “But it’s a different time and culture!” People will say and I agree but to have the audacity to assume that back then it was okay or that in todays Japan it’s okay, is fucked up. Think about it for a second. That’s so fucked up to think. Even if the society back then or in Japan thinks it’s okay, does it make it okay? 15 yo girls werent able to consent to adults and bear their children back then. They had to. They were raised with the expectations and they simply grew up thinking that it was the normal thing. But that doesnt make it right. That’s just societal grooming which did not prepare them in any way or allowed them the human dignity that they would have deserved. To now act like it’s all cool to just show the “positive” aspects or to twist it into something positive is so fucked up. Child Brides are a fucked up concept and to portray it as anything else is fucked up and also undermines the experience many girls still have to make. period.

I heard people say that it’s okay to portray it in this way because “Sesshomaru is not human!!!1″ and that’s correct. He is not. BUT, it’s not about being human but about maturity, consens, and independency. Him being a yokai makes it worse imo because there is an obvious power discrepancy. But in this particular fiction a good relationship could have been established (Kagome and Inuyasha for example) on those foundations but they did not because I can only assume they wanted Sesshomaru to smash and the show to pick up at a point where the other characters arent too old to be cool.

“What’s with Sango and Miroku, Kagome and Inuyasha?? It’s the same!” No it’s not. Rin was 8 at the beginning of the show. Kagome was 15 and Sango was 16-17 when they met their significant others. If you now tell me that you think 8 to be comparable to 15-17, I must ask you to get a reality check. Kagome’s and Sango’s relationships were slowburns starting when they already were able to have sexual and romantical feelings. Rin was a child. And Kagome did not kiss Inuyasha until they knew each other for a long ass period of time and bonded as friends and maybe more. Sesshomaru and Rin never were friends in the same way that Kagome and Inuyasha were because the maturity levels are way off. No adult is friends with a little child in the same way they are friends with their adult friends. And normally you dont grow into such a friendship but in the rare case you do, it’s not when she is 15 but maybe 20 or 25. 

Last but not least, Rin is not a character to the audience the same way Kagome or Sango are. Why? Because she was never shown as an adult or 3 Dimensional character to the audience. We know her as a child who wants to be with her trusted group. She is naive, but tough and doesnt have any motivation or drive on her own outside her group. Like every child she clung to the adults around her and her world outside of this group was nonexisting. Kagome wanted to be successful in school, Sango was a demon hunter and wanted to find her brother. Those are motivations and traits that dont circle around the love interest. Rin never had those because she was not developed to that point. Because she was a child and her entire existence was to develop Sesshomaru and to perhaps give the viewer a character to simply adore. What we see is of her: Mistreated child, -> Dead child -> Child being looked after and healing, -> Child not being homeless anymore -> ????? -> Teenager getting knocked up, pumping out main characters and then getting yeeted into a tree. 

This is not the way you treat a beloved character. There is no dignity to her character. “But she is fictional!!1″ Yes she is. But please show me a show that treats its child characters like this without criticizing it. 

I would have loved to see her grow as her own person. Go on her own adventures or learning a craft or developing meaningful bonds with other characters her age. Forming ideas that dont revolve around Sesshomaru alone. You know her being 3 Dimentional and not just there to pump out main characters. And if she then with 20 or 25 met Sesshomaru again and thought he was the hottest shit, I would have been fine with it. Not happy but fine. But in the little time we saw her as ‘not a child’, she still behaved the way she did before. 

[smugraccoon137]

Supergirl Season 2 episode 8 Medusa review part 2

If your curious part 1 was just my breakdown of Kara and Mon-els relationship that got way too long. But as always SPOILERS AND GAY THOUGHTS AHEAD

Me and kel get so excited when Lenas in an episode. Like practically giddy. I can’t help smiling when shes on screen honestly. And yes Katie McGrath is beautiful, but beyond that such a pretty smile and lovely voice. I’m sure ratings started to spike when she joined the cast. Okay enough about pretty girls on to the review 

Tipsy fucking Alex though guys I can’t get over this mess of a person. 

Alex: if I have to come out to my mom then I choose to do it drunk

Kara: no your not *yoinks beer*

Alex: wait no my coming out juice

Kara Danvers sneaky sneaker extraordinaire can totally interview Lena and find out Cadmus things without anyone knowing. The confidence this goofball has is top tier

Underrated relationship: Alex and Winn though. I really really love Winn and honestly Alex is such big sister energy to both him and Kara. 

wow Lenas pretty in the interview scene. A touch of auburn hair from the sunlight really makes this shot and we never get to see her with her hair down. Fan service honestly, or maybe she heard a certain beef cake reporter was gonna come by and wanted to dazzel her.

Lena: hair up is for business. Hair down is for flirting friendship time with Kara

Poor baby thinks she falls short nooooo. Your doing your best godamn your only like 25 jesus. Kara give her a hug she needs love and affection

Kara thinks shes being so sneaky in this interview. Such a golden retriever, bad at sneakin. As soon as she toes the line Lena catches on and kicks her out. Really good acting in the scene, the subtle change in expression to show Lenas guard raising. Good job Katie.

Real quick Lena why is your office so ugly? How do you keep it clean? You spend 99% of your days in this place and its whiter than a hospital room. I hate it. Why is your desk an oval? and why does it have a hole in it? Kara cant eat you out in secret anymore damn. 

OOHHHhhhh noooo the fucking gas bomb in the bar what the fuck. EVERYBODIES DEAD JESUS WHAT WAS THAT

Poor Mon-el. What happened at the bar was fucked up, and he feels like its fault when its obviously not.

Love that he and Kara are having bro time playing some Monopoly. Oh no not Kara asking if he likes her. Honestly thought these two had good chemistry in this scene. Im a sucker for dumbass not understanding certain words and phrases. So Kara having to reiterate her questions and finally being like “You don’t want to mate with me do you?” was super fun. Omegaverse vibes mfs. Although I am confused by mon-els reaction “I mean have you seen the kind of women I’ve been attracting?” I honestly don’t know what this means.

Kara internal reaction though: Oh thank god

Wow Kara really just has no regard for her own life, huh? she just opens the door and possibly contaminates herself. It’s good to want to help people, but love you gotta care about yourself too

Good reveal with the fortress of solitude. Oof Kara gonna feel like its her fault all those aliens died and mon-els sick. They do a really good job of showing Karas relationship with her parents through their holograms. She wants so badly to see them again, to talk to them. And she can, but not really. They just aren’t real.

Lena cattily to her mother: im used to celebrating holiday weekends alone at my desk

me to Kara: please invite her to thanksgiving

Okay so Lena being adopted is another interesting parallel to Kara. Also the fact that both Kara and Lena fall into there families shadows, and are left behhind or forgotten. Really interesting how Lena and Karas relationship is so similar to Clark and Lex’s for obvious purposes. Though the CW queer coding the fuck out of their relationship in Smallville really only adds to Supercorp fever. Its always been Homoerotic subtext Harold!

Me watching Lena and Lillian trade verbal blows: Wow ya’lls relationship is fucked up. Lex and Lionelle would spar and fence but you two are on another level jesus

oooooof that last line. 

Lena: I know your lying

Lillian: and how could you possibly know that?

Lena: because you told me you loved me. And we both know thats not true

Who wrote this jesus fuck my heart. The PAIN.

Bonus thought Lena thinks Karas smart. Goofball beefcake sneaky sneakster who doesnt know the difference between flirting and friendship is smart she thinks. I love these idiots

Wow Kara just doesn’t wait huh? Oh cadmus is going to be at LCorp? Not on my watch. Lena’s there. I know this because I tune into her heart beat just to check on her cus she likes to work late. Don’t worry Alex it’s for friendship reasons.

That LCorp security guard got princess carried for .2 seconds. Best moment of his life.

God its like dark out. Lenas working on a holiday weekend into the night. I hate this, give her friends.

Lena looks so scared when Kara gets thrown into the giant LCorp sign

And then hurt Kara looking up at her with dread.

Kara internal: fuck don’t come out now. I came here to save you

God I love the protectiveness. Its *chefs kiss*. Hank throwing the beam at Lena and Kara even in her hurt state throwing herself in front of it. Sometimes self sacrifice is gay. But how Lena looks at her after wards like “I can’t believe I’m alive. I can’t believe she chose to save me”. Met with a gruff “Get out of here!”. mm yes this is my kind of content. Fight for me.

I was robbed an aftercare scene but I doubt it will be the last time. (*COUGHS* the “im leaving” phone call *COUGHS*)

Talking about the virus Eliza: what about Lena Luthor?

Kara: What about her?! (super defensive is also a super power maam)

Winn: Luthors can be pretty good actors

Kara: No, I looked into LENAS EYES. She doesn’t know anything about cadmus or her mother

J’onzz: Would you stake Mon-els life on that?

well I guess that really puts Lena and Mon-el right next to each other in priorities huh? Which one is more important? 

Wow Lena totally has a crush on Supergirl after that. Flustered dork. 

Lena: *laughs nervously* you know that doors not really an entrance

Kara: *upsettit stone face pupper*

Lena: :,) 

Okay but the way Lena just says “Anything” all breathless and helpful when Kara says she needs her help. Shes crushin hard

Kara tells Lena her mother is in charge of Cadmus. 

Lena: >:(

Annnd the crush is dead. That did not last long. Really love that Lena has such a different relationship with Kara vs Supergirl though, good dynamic having her reactions so different. Which I believe actually relates as a Clark and Lois parallel? Seeing as how Lois has two separate relationships with Clark and Superman. 

OOf the way Lenas throat bobs with genuine sadness because who she thought Supergirl was is wrong. Shes just like the rest of them. Thinks Lena is just another crazy Luthor. It hurts

Kara: I know what its like to be disillusioned by our parents, but Im a pretty good judge of character, and you are not like your mother. She is cold and dangerous. And you are too good and too smart to follow in her path. Be your own Hero.

Wow just what a good line. They are capable of some things here and there arent they? Melissa's delivery on this is excellent. And the way Katie McGrath is able to show such depth of sadness and bitterness even from a shot of her BACK is really cool. Great acting in this scene in particular. And I can see why the “desperation to be good” is such a highlighted part of these two relationship. Its the one thing in common between Lena and Supergirl, the place where they can meet in the middle. And the way Lena looks after her as she leaves! AHHH thats the good shit, the pining

Okay big Mon-el scene in coming so if you dont want to hear my ranting skip over this part. 

Funny how as soon as Kara has this big impactful scene with Lena full of tension and emotion the writers were like: shit we almost forgot Mon-els dying. 

Kara: *staring sadly back into Lenas office kind of wanting to go back in*

Writers: *cough cough* KARA He’s DYINGGGG

Kara: Oh shit right. Mon-el Oh no. My *looks at poorly written handwriting on her palm* romantic interest?

Wow Mon-el looks like shit, poor guy. Someone swaddle this pillow princess and get him some soup.

Heres a question. Kara is visibly upset that Mon-el is dying. Is it because she’s sad that the guy shes likes is dying. Because her friend is dying? Because her father created the virus thats killing him (what the writers want us to think)? Or because no matter what Kara does the people she loves keep falling through the cracks and shes helpless to stop it?

Her parents. Clark. Her adoptive father. Now Lena. Now Mon-el. Why can’t she ever do anything? Why is it always her fault? This poor kid has some deep seeded abandonment issues

Mon-el: you know you look beautiful with the weight of all these worlds on your shoulders.

I do remember my reaction here, cus I thought this was a weird line. A line that was obviously meant to be romantic and complimentary, but it felt unsettled in my stomach. Coming back and watching the scene it sits even more uncomfortably there. He obviously means well, but this line is kind of just shitty. Its a very selfish and unthoughtful thing to say to someone. 

Kara’s entire fucking life has revolved around other people and making sure they are happy and taken care of. But having “failed” at such a young age to do the impossible things asked of her (carrying on Kryptons legacy, raising Clark) she overcompensates. Any normal person would just make their life revolve around their family and friends, not healthy but it works. But Kara feels responsibility over an entire world of lost people and lives. So the amount she overcompensates is ungodly. She does have the weight of worlds on her shoulders. This is not a joke or hyperbole. Its just her life. And thats so fucking shitty. And to have someone actually see that and acknowledge it. To make it a reality so to speak. Then to have them say “yeah you look good like this” while you’re a shaking Atlas being crushed. It is just a little too much isn’t it? That pain to have someone see you finally, and then completely miss the point. For them to go “oh wow your so strong. your so brave” instead of “let me help you. you shouldn’t have to do this at all, forget by yourself. But now I am here”. 

I imagine this was the scene that crowned my darling himbo boy Mon-Hell? Which is so unfortunate. I hope Im wrong, but I feel that his character might just end up a big missed opportunity

I want everyone to know that me and Kel screamed through the entire enxt few seconds of the scene. We knew the kiss was coming from how they were building it up. But god was it painful, especially for it to be delivered after a line like THAT. But yeah very loud angry screaming

Also not to be that bitch but Kara and Mon-els scene was a total of 1:53 RT, and Kara and Lenas ran at a 1:57 RT. Just sayin...

No Lena don’t be evil thats too sexy...

Okay but the way that Lena just tricks Lillian is so good. Shes so clever. And added bonus she makes her ask for her help, which is nice actually. Lillian's obvious vice is weakness and that is often shown in embarrassment. A woman like this asking for help borders that line of weakness and its nice to see on such a dislikable character. Lena didn’t just get what she wanted she got a point over her mother.

Lena looks good in the purple coat. Repeat she is pretty

Love the mental chess game between Lena and Lillian. Lena offering help right off the bat and giving her the isotope free of charge. And then Lillian making Lena launch the virus to prove herself. Good stuff.

Kara appears: don’t do it Lena!

Lena: why not? im a luthor

Okay so obviously Lena switched the Isotope and the Virus won’t work. But thats what makes this line so perfect. Throwing it back in Supergirls face. Like “Yeah, Im a luthor. And Ill show you what im capable of.” But instead of mass death and destruction Lena saves the day. She saved thousands of lives, and its because shes a Luthor that she was able to do that. Really nice way to full circle that 

Wow Lillian really just starts booking it without Lena, huh? bitch

I really love the scene of the virus falling all around National City. The choice of an orangish snow falling was a really really good one. Paired with some excellent music for the mid season finale.

Its sad but I do love Hank just being ready and at peace with death. Im sure he misses his wife and daughters. 

Okay but Lena calling the cops is tea. Send your mom to jail honey. 

So we’re really not gonna talk about how Lena saved everyones asses? Like don’t you think Supergirl would want to talk to the woman that A) kind of tricked her, and B) saved National City. Thats just what makes sense??? But no we’re going to ignore that the DEO is a kind of shit at their job sometimes. And that the woman that they were accusing of having a part to play in all the xenophobic shit is the one who did their job. BY HER SELF. 

Okay rant over. This was a long one review dear god. Really really good episode though. I enjoyed rewatching all the scenes even if it was a mixed bag of feelings. Thanks for reading hope you enjoyed all the screaming!

[fleshblueberry]

Babe wake up im going to rant about my ocs lore because im bored

Tw/cw depression, suicide, kidnapping, addiction, unreality

I write angsty stuff for my ocs oops-

When i first started making my characters they were very different in alot of ways and they were very different from what they are now. But i some how managed to glue all the chaos of my ocs together into a semi-coherent story. I went through an insane amount of world building with myself and i honestly dont think ive ever writen or typed any of it out before! its all just up in my head (and you know my memory is trash so ive probably forgotten of alot of things i made before lol). Anyways- i have two main story lines for my characters. Ethan's story, and Vevlet's story. Although i must admit Ethan's story is less complex than velvets simply beacsue it acts as a story of prequeal to Velvets story line. (Alternate realities that happen to have effect on each other basically- we love space time junk)

Ethan's world is very similar to ours, the most similar out of any of my fantasy worlds lol. Ethan's story revolves around self-discovery. I mean for it to be a wholesome/lighthearted thing that quickly leads up to dark undertones (spoilers lol). Ethan's story begins with Eef pre-transition (AFAB to NB). We get to see Ethan learn about themself and have fun exploring emotions and what it means to be alive. Ethan comes from a run-down family (mom khs, dad mia). So he lives with his adoptive parents (who i have yet to design and think about- theyre lesbians 100% though). A major moment for Eef is meeting his partner Seth. As you already know Ethan and Seth are cute ass boyfriends and stuff but guess what! im jammed their story full of angst and edgy shit bc i "wrote" most of this when i was hella depressed! Anyways Seth's family is like moderally welathy, wealthier than most i would say. Seth catches feelings for the emo chick ofc (forgot to metion Eef was definately a hot goth girl before he transitions).... uh yea anyways seth ends up flirting and crushing on eef and eef is like yea sure im bored and sad why not. and they end up dating after a while. Theres an important moment in their relationship when Ethan take Seth to this dead tree. THis dead tree is very important also bc it is where his mother hanged herself, and Ethan doesnt quite remember that bc he was very young when it happened, but he knows it as a place of comfort and he goes there alot when he feels sad or alone. this tree could be taken as symbolizim but heheh ill never tell. anyways Ethan is like yo my fevorite tree and Seth is like wtf okay bro ily and all but why a dead tree with an unstable tire swing?? ANd ethans like idk but i like it here reminds me of my childhood (op my guy) and they spend the night there. Also when ethan comes out to seth as nonbinary seth is just like ok,,, because hes bisexual lol. anyways time skip and Seth has some addiction problems once he graduates, long story short- Ethan doesnt like it bc his dad was a druggie so he trys to help Seth and Seth raises his voice and ethan is tiny compared to his bf so hes naturally like terrified of being hit and he suddenly feels his world of happy and peace he build back up bieng destroyed once again so he heads to his mothers dead tree and decides life isnt worth it anymore, and he hangs himself in the exact spot his mother did.... once seth comes off one of his highs or whatever hes like- oh fuck i yelled and acted agro to my traumatized partner. and he immedatly goes to the tree bc its Ethans favortie spot but its to late. regret is the only emootion anymore... its over for them.

now youre probably wondering how the absolute hell does that tie into velvets lore?? well do i have a tale for you. Velvets sotry begins on her 21st birthday, she is out for drinks with her douchebag bf and her bestfriend. several drinks later she yells over blaring club music shes going to the restroom, and as shes walking back she sees her bf and her bestie making out and she doesnt even say anyhting and walks out alone. She is making her way back to her apartment very tipsy. She then hears a vechile driving beside her, she cant make out anyhting theyre saying and the people in the car get out and before she even relises whats going on shes thrown into the vechile and is being beaten and yelled at. She passes out as theyre driivng to somewhere. When she next awakes she is in a barn-looking place. Concreate walls painted red and straw all over the floor. she cant stand, her legs stung and so did her entire body. for several days- she doesnt know how long she stayed in this place unable to move or do anything. Weak and starving, she gathered up her last bit of strength and hung herself on a low board (havent really worked out the details on that scence bc i keep changing my mind but she does hang herself). Cut to a space of nothingness- legit nothing- exactly its impossible to imagine nothing. In the nothing sits velvet all skin and bone, and then an entity, a hooded figure with long hair, sits next to her. No words are spoke, but the entity looks at velvet longingly. Then it tears out its eye- just full on plunges its hand into its socket and rips it out. bloody mess honestly. the entity hands its eye to velvet, and she takes it. there is no thoughts here, no sound, only actions. Cut once more to a coriners room place? ya know the place with dead bodies and tables and shit- anyways a bright light emerges from dead!vevlets chest and surrounds her entire body. *cue stunned doctor mans* Velvet arises from her death with her scars healed over and... wings. Yup shes an angel now. I mean her world already had monsters and things of suppernatural belonging but- angels are rare. She makes 1 of 2 angels in their relam as of current. Angels are "made" from regrets. Regret overflowing from two sources- one long dead and the other recent. This is where ethan comes in. Ethan's regret from how he died was powerful and sad, powerful enough for his spirt- an entity- to reach Velvets. Velvet too, had much regret in her death. So young and so many things that could have been avoided. In the days following up to her death in the barn/cellar she only felt regret. Regret for all she did and all she didnt do. So much pain summoned the entity. Their powerful forces of regret pulled them together and allowed Velvet to return- but at a price for the both of them. the entity lost its eye- symbolizing a loss of humanity and conscientiousness. While Velvet lost herself, she no longer can view her world in the same way. She has severe ptsd- like episodes and halucinations. She cant go back, she has to live through he own grief. Velvets appearnace also changes quite a bit. Her hair got longer, she has two sleek gray wings on her back, and- one of her eyes are purple now. why does it hrut her to see that eye? why is it all so familiar yet far away. Her human brain can hardly understand all the changes. But she was gifted this- she knows she must try. And luckily for her society sees angels as higher beings. They are given the umost respect but they are also greatly feared because of how misterious their origins are. The only other known angel meets with velvet quite alot through her story, he will act as a sort of guide/plot device to make things a bit easier for myself (havent worked out his lore tho or even a design for him hjbfkjsdb). Anyways im tired and its 1:35 am so thats all the lore you get for now, plus its the stuff ive thought about the most so- i dont really want to think any furtherb ahead yet lol. to many little things to work out...... i love creating but oml typing hurts after an hour or so-

Jam out!

... I don't even know what to say to this

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

The Supergirl Team calls you in despair. You’ve 2/3 episodes to save this season and leave a cliffhanger to the next season. You can do any ship, cut any actor, unlimited budget. What do you do?

My first call is to Brenda Strong, clearly. Lillian caustically provides Lena a reality check by not so subtly reminding her how Lex is an asshole and can't be trusted. She reveals she retained her pre-crisis memories, and remembers more than Lex deigned to tell her.

Lena is unimpressed, and dryly remarks, "And now you finally get to see everything Lex should have been. You must be thrilled."

"Yes, I do," Lillian affirms. "But a victory without sacrifice isn't victory. It's a handout."

Luthors don't accept handouts.

Lena stares at her mother, confused and wary. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying Lex didn't earn it."

None of this was earned through toil. Lex chanced onto an opportunity and manipulated it to his utmost ability. Once upon a time, she might have been proud of his aptitude for machinations, Lillian admits, but she finds herself disillusioned with him.

"Not only does intended matricide sour the relationship somewhat," Lillian elaborates, "but more and more lately I've come to realize that while Lex indeed had incredible potential, I allowed that potential to blind me to yours."

Lex didn't earn his success, but Lena did. In just a few short years, Lena embodied the Luthor spirit unlike any Luthor had since the first generation-- since the generation that worked for their first million, their first merger, the first everything. She battled prejudice and attacks and failures, and though there may have been times she may have wavered, she always persisted.

"So why," her mother asks, "are you giving up now?"

Finally, Lena gives voice to her helplessness. How her friends have forsaken her and how in this world, she feels nineteen again, like she can do nothing without Lex.

"How can I," Lena asks, "when he crafted this very reality?"

"He has always crafted your reality, Lena. Your entire life has revolved around him, been shaped and warped by him. But what I've come to realize is that this world isn't his. It never was. All along, it was yours."

And so begins the tentative yet deepening relationship between Lena and her mother, as they conspire against Lex. They know he's up to something, but don't know what. In the end, they decide it doesn't matter what it was-- they would simply need to neutralize him.

Permanently.

----

On the other side of things, the superfriends start to realize that their goal of taking down Lex from the outside isn't working. They learn Brainy is compromised, and find themselves without a significant resource they had counted on. So they focus on mitigating the fallout of his use of the DEO.

Alex and Jonn find their way to helping aliens recover after DEO raids. Sometimes its just property damage, sometimes its arrests. They commiserate with the victims, promising that Lex won't be in power for much longer.

"It doesn't matter who is in power," the victims reply. It will only be someone just as cruel, or even indifferent. The DEO has always been this way, and it will always be this way.

When one alien mentions a specific raid, Alex realizes it was one that occurred under her tenure as Director. That as an agent and director she contributed to the abuse of aliens rights, liberties, and persons.

Later, she confesses to Kara that she always thought she was doing good at the DEO. But all along she'd really only been doing good for Kara.

"I will always be there for you, you know that right?" she asks, and Kara nods. "But I think, for the next little while, I need to focus on doing good for everyone else."

----

Meanwhile, at CatCo, Nia finds herself in a quandary. One day, Will asks her to grab him a coffee. Taken aback, Nia doesnt have time to respond before Will is off on his way. Unsure of what else to do, she uncomfortably obliges, choosing to believe it was a one off.

It isn't.

Again and again with increasing frequency, Will asks her to do things like grab coffee, make copies, etc. Soon she finds herself stuck in a cycle of doing what she's told and is too nervous to call him out after so long.

It takes Kara noticing and offering to speak to William about it before Nia bucks up the courage to do it herself.

"No," she says, the next time Will opens his mouth in her direction. "I will not get your coffee, or make your copies, or pull your copy edits. I am a reporter, just like you. Maybe a little less experienced, sure, but the only way I'm going to get experienced is by doing my own work and not the work of your assistant."

Will stares at her, and then flushes. "Nia, I am so sorry, I thought you were the office assistant. I had no idea."

This time it's Nia's turn to stare. "What? But-- I have over a dozen by-lines."

"Really?"

"I've been at every pitch meeting!"

Grimacing, Will meets her gaze. "I thought you were there to take notes. Honestly, I thought you and Kara were tight because she came from the assistant pool."

Nia scowls. "You also could have just asked me."

"And I should have. I truly am sorry, I've just been so wrapped up in--" He catches himself abruptly, then swiftly changes the subject. "Let me make it up to you. I have an interview with Lenny Maddow in twenty minutes. Would you like to sit in?"

Sit in with a Nobel-winner who isn't Lex Luthor?

"Uh, YEAH."

Nia recoups more of her pride when she asks some insightful questions that gets their guest to open up to an insane degree, and Will recognizes her talent as a reporter. He even tells her as much.

"I don't know how I ever mistook you for anything else."

He starts lending her more advice and opportunity-- before long he's the kind of mentor Kara used to be, but lost the time for. And after Will decides he can trust her he brings her in on his secret project investigating the Luthors.

Namely, Lena.

"She's the weak link. If she goes down, the rest will follow like dominos."

---

"I know we're kind of not on Team Lena right now," Nia remarks to the others at the tower later, "but the kind of things he thinks she's responsible for doesn't sound like Lena. In any reality."

J'onn and Alex both look at Kara. "It might be time to set aside our wounds for a moment," J'onn observes. "I don't need to be a fifth dimensional imp to deduce that a downfall for Lena would not be a good thing."

"Lex would be left unchecked," Alex chimes in.

Kara doesn't need convincing. She goes to Lena immediately, and squares off against Lena's chill reception with concern.

"I came to warn you."

"Let me guess... Lex can't be trusted."

With a grimace, Kara equivocates. "Yes, but I'm not the only one who thinks so. William Dey is digging into the Luthors, and for whatever reason, he's decided your the fulcrum to the entire operation."

"The reporter, William Dey?"

Kara shares what she knows of William's vendetta-- the best friend who died, the suspicions that Lex was involved. To her surprise, Lena huffs a mirthless laugh.

"He said he was going to be better."

"You... say that like you don't believe him."

"Of course I don't believe him. But I wanted to."

Lena knows better than to leave LuthorCorp. But she does pledge her help.

"This doesn't make us friends," Lena clarifies. "But whatever Lex is planning, he'll burn the world to the ground to get it."

Kara nods solemnly. "I understand."

---

The Superfriends now have their in. It's Lena who finally pieces together that Lex is after Leviathan. It's Lillian who pales at the mention, and after much toothpulling reveals that what no one ever told Lena is that her mother didn't just die-- she was murdered.

"Your home was broken into shortly after you were removed. The investigators only found one item of interest, hidden behind a piece of loosened baseboard. A cipher, on a folded piece of paper. Even Lionel only managed to translate two words. One was Leviathan."

The other, Lena soon discovers, was Acrata.

---

Altogether, the superfriends and Will and Lena all manage to erode Lex's stranglehold on the new reality. Lex doesn't make it easy, but a combination of J'onn and Alex earning more of the public trust, Supergirl resisting Lex at every turn, Will and Nia tag-teaming Andrea's connection to Leviathan, Lena beats Lex to the Leviathan sanctum.

By a matter of minutes, sure, but the fact she finds her way there on her own when Lex has to be led by Gamemnae is a true victory, and a practical embodiment of Lillian's earlier words.

Lena's victory is compounded when Lex's eyes flash with irritation: he doesn't expect to see her there.

"Heya, sis. I didn't realize we had a meeting."

"We don't," Lena tells her brother, even her eyes lock on the woman beside him.

The woman steps towards Lena, her lips curling into a pleased smile.

"We do," the woman confirms. It's clear she doesn't include Lex.

Before he can do more than sputter, she continues. "I was wondering how long it would take you to find us."

Lena holds her gaze. "The medallion."

Gamemnae nods. "Ever since it was found, we knew it would only be a matter of time."

There's only one question Lena intends to ask.

"Who was my mother?"

And so she learns that her mother was part of Leviathan-- that she had grown lonely, and sought comfort in the arms of mortals. It had only meant to be temporary, but when the unthinkable happened, and she found herself pregnant, she chose to remain in the mortal world with her daughter.

What Gamemnae doesn't explain, but Lena senses instinctively, is that her mother had sought to protect Lena from Leviathan. To keep her human, keep her alive. That somehow, despite being an agent of destruction, Lena's birth had prompted her mother to leave Leviathan behind, and to be better than she was.

Gamemnae's pitch is enticing-- the ability to bring humanity together through disaster, to call upon their communal instincts by reducing their numbers, reset the world so that the planet and its population have a chance to survive for eons to come.

She offers power and influence, and a long life-- millenia to engage with and observe the discoveries still far in the future.

It's almost enough for Lena to say yes.

Almost.

It is enough for Lena to accept the medallion, the only true memory Lena has of her mother. Gamemnae summons it from the ether, and Lena takes it in her fingers, cradling it like the precious artifact it is.

When she closes her hand around it, Lena blinks and finds herself in a place of utter darkness. But despite the emptiness, she isn't afraid.

"Lena."

"Mom."

The woman who appears before her is familiar in a way that touches deep in Lena's soul. Tears fill Lena's eyes as she drinks in the sight of her mother, committing her to memory.

"I forgot what you looked like," Lena confesses with a breathless laugh. "When I generated an avatar of you, I had to base it on my own image."

The embrace her mother wraps her in is unbidden and unexpected. It steals Lena's breath and floods her with warm. Her tears spill over as she clutches her mother tight.

"I've missed you."

"And I you, my darling," her mother murmurs. "You have grown to be everything I ever wanted for you."

A bolt of shame travels down Lena's spine, and she pulls away.

"You mean embroiled in the most hated family in history?"

"I mean that you are strong, and powerful, and brilliant. Your compassion and empathy are a force powerful than you know."

Lena looks away. How can she explain how close she had come to lose the soul her mother had loved so dearly. Non Nocere burns like a hot poker of shame, digging deep in her belly and twisting sharply.

But her mother cups her cheeks, tilting her gaze up to meet hers once more.

"We all make mistakes, my love. What matters most is what you do to correct them."

Before Lena can say anything more, her mother kisses her on the head, and offers a smile as warm as the sun.

"Everyone you have ever loved is carried inside you. They speak to you every day. When times are uncertain, listen to your heart. They will never lead you astray."

Lena blinks back to the Leviathan sanctum to find Lex pelting Gamemnae with outrage and accusations.

"We had an agreement! You and I had a partnership!"

"And now that it has brought me your sister, I am no longer in need of it."

"You forget that I watched Rama Khan in our previous reality-- I know Leviathan's style. My baby sister isn't the type you would want to recruit."

"You don't comprehend what Leviathan is," Gamemnae only smiles sweetly, unfazed by Lex's posturing. "We are born and chosen both. That is what Lena is. And you, Alexander Luthor, are neither."

"Buh--"

With a wave of Gamemnae's hand, Lex disappears, transported.... somewhere. Lena can barely think to consider his welfare before Gamemnae turns her powerful gaze towards her once more.

"Welcome home, Lena."

---

In the end, Lena doesn't accept. The power offered her is tempting, but she's wise enough to know that a deal so sweet could never come without strings. Whether it be her humanity, her soul, or something else entirely, she would lose something dear. Something precious.

"Come now, Lena," Gamemnae cautions. "I know how ingelligent you are. You know that you won't be allowed to leave alive should you decline."

Her mother's voice echoes in Lena's ears: listen to your heart. She does, and she hears them all-- her people. Her loved. Her lost.

Her mother.

Jack.

Even Kara.

It's Kara that makes her pause, nearly has her agreeing. She knows the prospect of Kara's future, a life of longevity that would see her watching all her family die, for generations to come. If Lena could share those centuries with her, surely they could eventually find forgiveness and trust once more.

But Kara wouldn't want her to. Not like this.

So instead of taking Gamemnae's hand, Lena snatches her by the wrist and closes her hand around the medallion. This time Gamemnae appears in the void with her, where Lena's mother waits again.

"I need your help," Lena says. "All of you."

One by one, they materialize. All of the voices who have guided her appear from the shadows, their features kind and ready. Lena pushes Gamemnae towards them.

"Make our guest comfortable. She'll be staying with you for the foreseeable future."

Jack is the one who steadies Gamemnae. When he blinks, his eyes open to pitch darkness. So do the eyes of those around him, wraiths all. Even Lena's mother.

Lena hesitates only long enough to give her mother one last look.

"I love you."

Her mother nods. "I never doubted for a second. Go," she urges, "and live."

Lena returns to the Leviathan sanctum alone. She shatters the medallion to ensure no one else would use it, and sweeps the pieces up to liquidate against any attempts to reconstruct it.

Leviathan is done, without a single drop of blood shed.

Back at LuthorCorp, Lex is nowhere to be found. After a perfunctory search, control falls to Lena. Though she'll have to wait a mandated period of time before she can rebrand back to L-Corp, things are already feeling normal.

At least, right up until the moment Lena finally visits the Tower for the first time.

"Lena!" Kara calls in delight. During their time working together, things between them have repaired enough for her to wrap Lena in a brief hug and usher her further into the space.

"Come to beg us to back to the DEO?" Alex taunts. "I gotta warn you, I've gotten used to being my own boss."

"Actually," Lena says, "I'm disbanding the DEO."

There's a beat of silence, and then the entire room erupts into chaos. Questions fly at her from every direction, and she endures them quietly until she finally lifts a hand for quiet.

"It's time. The DEO has never been entirely above board, and if we're going to make strides in accepting aliens into Earth society, we have to start with nixing the extrajudicial arrests and imprisonment."

Lena looks at Kara, who has been suspiciously silent. Kara meets her gaze in apprehension.

"What does that mean for Supergirl?'

Lena offers her a smile that refreshes her soul.

"Well, it would be foolish to claim she isn't still needed, and that heroes don't do a lot of good. So I've already talked with the mayor about implementing a municipal licensing program for vigilante heroes. If successful, you'd basically be doing the exact same thing, with just a little more oversight, and a little less smash and grab."

Nia beams. "That sounds so cool!"

"And," Lena adds, sliding her gaze towards Alex and J'onn, "the program is going to need leadership that's familiar with both heroes and bureaucracy."

J'onn nods his readiness and agreement, but to everyone's surprise, Alex hesitates.

"It sounds like a great idea, Lena, really," Alex obfuscates, "but I think I still have more work to do on this side of things. As you say, the DEO has a lot to make up for."

Kara hugs her sister tight. "I'm so proud of you," she whispers.

"Wait, wait, wait..." Nia says, pumping the brakes ever so slightly. "Does this mean we don't get to be the Superfriends anymore?"

But Lena has an answer for that too.

"As the pilot heroes of this new program, I'm sure all of you will continue to work closely together, and I'm sure the legislation will include provisions for teams as well as individual. Which means that as National City's first and premier superhero league, the only thing you're missing is a sponsor." Which is to say, Lena intends to sponsor them.

"From my personal accounts," Lena is sure to specify, "and with tech either commercially available or engineered in my personal lab. LuthorCorp will won't be anywhere near it, and I will be operating as anonymously as possible... though given our history, I'm sure it wouldn't be too hard a guess for people to figure out."

When the team leaves for celebratory drinks, Kara and Lena linger. The air hangs thick and heavy between them, until Lena finally speaks.

"You once asked for bygones--"

"I did," Kara confirms. "And as much as I would love to return the favor--"

"We have a lot to talk about."

Kara nods, and Lena takes a deep breath. "All I ask," she continues, "is that you accept the good with the flaws. And that I only ever wanted to do good."

That much, Kara agrees without hesitation.

"I never thought anything else."

She loops her arm through Lena's, and together they walk towards the lift. As it rises to collect them, Kara rocks back on her heels.

"A lot of changes are coming our way," she remarks.

Lena hums an agreement, but misses the glance Kara gives her as they step into the lift before issuing one last pardon.

"There's no one else I'd rather face them with."

The elevator gate closes on the image of them gazing at each other, eyes locked and smiles brimming with the possibility of something new.

[forevercloudnine]

new 52 scarebat ship meme

(I had @heroes-etc​ give me more questions, but for scarebat this time, since we talk about it 24/7 but I never post about it. These are from this ship meme.)

4. Their favorite physical feature on each other?

There’s only one feature of Bruce’s appearance that’s scarier when he’s not wearing the batsuit, and that’s his creepy blue eyes. Especially the way Greg Capullo draws them where they’re sickly pale and have ridiculously constricted pupils.

So his eyes would definitely be in the running for Jonathan’s favorite feature, even if seeing them would require Bruce’s mask to be off, which is something New 52 Scarecrow explicitly avoids. Yes, that character trait only exists to justify why Batman’s identity is still secret after Scarecrow mind controls and subsequently institutionalizes him in “Gothtopia,” but I think it’s interesting so I’m going to pretend it’s not shoe-horned in there for meta reasons.

Actually having to see Bruce without the cowl on would definitely permanently break the illusion of Batman as a nightmarish inhuman bat demon, which I’m sure is a large part of the appeal for anyone as obsessed with fear as Jonathan Crane. But Bruce’s creepy eyes would be a serious consolation prize. 

Bruce’s favorite of Jonathan’s physical features is rough, because Jonathan is famously not great re: physical features. I’m going to say his mouth, because a) that’s where the snark comes from, and b) the New 52 establishes that in one of their earlier encounters, Jonathan had sewn his own mouth shut, so it’s one of those things where a bad first impression turned positive later on leads to more fondness than if you’d made a good impression in the first place.

I just looked up the panel where he does it and I DID forget how incredibly gross his lips look here, which makes the fact that I have chosen it as Bruce’s feature seem really funny in retrospect. But I do think that seeing Jonathan’s mouth healed and unmutilated would be a reassuring reminder of how he’s stabilized since their first encounter, at least to the point that he isn’t hurting himself anymore. Also, Bruce buys him a lot of chapstick.

Bonus alternate answer that did not make it into the Google Doc:

9. How open are they with their feelings?

Bruce and Jonathan are both pretty competent deceivers in the New 52; Bruce always, Jonathan depending on how the writer is feeling (though you could argue that Bruce just has a stronger grip on reality, while Jonathan’s skill at obfuscation varies with how lucid he is).

...I was going to use Detective Comics #23.3 as an example of Jonathan being a good liar, but actually upon re-reading I’m realizing that only 1/4 rogues buy his attempt at manipulation. So maybe he’s considerably worse at hiding his intentions than he thinks he is. Regardless, he doesn’t ever attempt to disguise his obsession with Batman.

Whether or not he’d express romantic feelings or try to hide them is debatable. There’s no Masters of Fear equivalent in the New 52 establishing that he was ever mocked or punished for expressing romantic feelings for someone, though there is a flashback panel in his origin emphasizing that he was always lonely in this regard (and coincidentally doesn’t specify that his interest is in women, which is fun).

In Green Lanterns #17 he has some internal monologue about how fear is his romance and he needs Batman to feel it, but it is an INTERNAL monologue, so it’s not clear if this is something he would express to Bruce or keep to himself. Or if he’s even fully processed it himself, given how incredibly out of it he is in this comic. Most of his spoken lines are just kind of screaming incoherently. Bruce gets pretty snippy with a Green Lantern at the end of the issue for suggesting that Jonathan should be punished for his crimes as if he were in control of his actions. 

Bruce is a similarly complicated answer, since for all his deceptions and shadowy mystery he pretty much wears his heart on his sleeve when it comes to romance. It’s just that his heart doesn’t express or process emotions the same way as anyone around him, which can create conflict. His (seriously underrated) love interest during Scarecrow’s origin arc, Natalya, spent most of her time dating him thinking that he didn’t care about her for this reason. He was trying to express that he loved her, but he mostly did so through complimenting her skills, which she never took as serious declarations of affection because he wasn’t being straightforward and she was insecure.

Jonathan does not himself seem like someone who would be especially secure in the idea of another person having romantic feelings towards him, so I assume that while Bruce might THINK he’s being open with any romantic feelings he develops, he would in reality just be really confusing.

13. How do they react to being away from each other?

I actually think that in general, Jonathan is one of the few people who would have no issue dealing with Bruce’s tendency to unexpectedly go AWOL for long periods of time, given that he himself has a tendency to fixate on his work to the exclusion of everything else.

But New 52 Jonathan specifically probably has pretty serious abandonment issues due to his father putting him in “the pit” and dying before he could take him out, meaning that Jonathan was waiting for his dad to come back for him for God knows how long, until Jonathan Sr.’s employers finally sent the police to investigate. 

So while in general I think he wouldn’t be very clingy, any impression that Bruce had died or otherwise wasn’t coming back for him would probably be incredibly triggering. If Bruce could assuage this reaction by occasionally sending updates that at least indicated he was still alive, then I doubt Jonathan would have any problems with his absence.

(@heroes-etc​: bruce sending like a checkmark emoji once a day. jonathan hears his phone ping, looks at the screen, and goes hm. good. and doesnt respond.)

Bruce meanwhile has no problem ditching literally any love interest at any time if something crime-related comes up, unless he’s considering quitting the cowl for them (as Joker probably accurately fears will happen with Catwoman in Prelude to the Wedding). But I don’t think he’d stop being Batman for Scarecrow, nor would Jonathan ever want him to — he’s interested in Batman, not necessarily Bruce Wayne.

But even though Bruce wouldn’t have an emotional problem with distance, I think he would get similarly paranoid if they went too long without contact, though for different reasons than Jonathan. Unlike some other villains (*cough* Joker and Riddler), Scarecrow has machinations that don’t require getting Batman’s attention, so if he decided to continue with his less legal experiments, he would not feel compelled to get Bruce involved. While the “World’s Greatest Detective” would probably not have an issue keeping an eye on Jonathan while he’s in Gotham, he’s considerably less capable of that in space. And Jonathan is definitely a rogue he would be obsessed with keeping an eye on, even if he reformed. 

Batman & Robin Eternal established that Dick’s first supervillain conflict AND first mission leaving the country was chasing Scarecrow across the world for an entire summer, which is kind of insane considering how early it was in Batman’s career. Like, he did not have an army of children to watch Gotham for him while he was gone. He had one child, and he took that child WITH him. He left Gotham undefended for months, JUST to catch Scarecrow. Sooo that in of itself implies he wouldn’t be great at keeping his distance.

15. Does their view of themselves differ from their partner’s view?

Well, Jonathan occasionally sees Bruce as a giant bat demon, so yes.

Outside of that very obvious differing view, Jonathan in general sees himself and the rest of the rogue gallery as more vital to Batman’s identity than Bruce considers them; the extent to which he’s right varies depending on your interpretation of Bruce’s character, but it’s definitely not something Bruce would ever consciously think or say. 

This is related to something that’s definitely a misconception of his, though, which is that the majority of Batman’s job revolves around supervillains like him. In Kings of Fear, when Jonathan blackmails Bruce into letting him come on patrol with him (which is a whole thing in of itself), he’s shocked at how boring most of Batman’s work is. Which probably goes along hand in hand with sometimes seeing Bruce as an almost mythologically inhuman figure. 

In his defense, it’s not like he has a lot of context for what the minutiae of Batman’s job is like. He’s either fighting Batman, hiding from Batman, or imprisoned by Batman in Arkham, a place where everyone else also spends all their time fighting or hiding from Batman. Which would really skew your perspective.

Interestingly, Bruce and Jonathan are both people who pride themselves on being extremely self-aware. Both of them probably inaccurately. You can rant about how you have a perfect understanding of your troubled mental state all day long, but if you’re still dressing up like a monster at night to indulge the power fantasies you created as a traumatized child by scaring the hell out of people, there’s probably a level of self-realization you haven’t gotten to yet.

Bruce however is at least self-aware enough to regularly be able to analyze his way out of fear toxin induced hallucinations, which Jonathan is unable to do — when he’s not depicted as having become immune to his fear toxin due to overexposure (as he is in Green Lanterns #17), he can be defeated with the same formulas that Batman regularly manages to resist (like his honestly embarrassing breakdown in Nightwing #50). 

Which ties into the difference between how he sees himself and how Bruce sees him: Jonathan obviously visualizes himself as a “master” of fear. He actually has the same internal monologue about fear and trauma that Bruce does in Batman: The Dark Knight #13: “Make it your own... run to what you fear... stare it in the eye... until it whimpers and backs down.” But Bruce doesn’t see Scarecrow as conquering his fear; he sees him as addicted to it, to the point of his own detriment.

Which is interesting, because Jonathan clearly sees his Scarecrow persona as a way to regain control after being victimized by his father’s fear experiments throughout his childhood. I guess Bruce’s perspective would be that Jonathan’s father instead got him addicted to fear as a child, so his attempts at agency as Scarecrow are just a) reliving his trauma over and over and b) compulsively inflicting his own trauma on others. There’s probably some truth to that, even if overall it’s probably an oversimplification (and coincidentally pretty much EXACTLY what Riddler argues Bruce is doing by “funding” Batman in Batman Annual #4, so there’s that).

20. Did either person change at all, to be with their partner?

The obvious answer here is yes, because Jonathan is a supervillain with no regard for human life while Bruce is a superhero who has dedicated his life to protecting people. So presumably one or both of them would have to make serious compromises to be together. HOWEVER. Scarecrow’s primary motivation is to research, understand and inflict fear, while Batman’s modus operandi is making his enemies afraid of him. So despite their contradiction in morals, they’re uniquely positioned to advance each other’s goals, were they to ever join forces.

Bruce never has a problem using fear toxin on Scarecrow, presumably partially out of an “eye for an eye” sense of poetic justice, but also because Batman is practical and it’s a nonlethal weapon that’s always available to him while fighting Scarecrow. If he could have fear toxin customized for his own use, it’s hard to imagine him being unwilling to use it. In Gothtopia he actually advocates for using what’s leftover from Crane’s new formula on all the inmates at Arkham, which seems about as insanely morally ambiguous as it gets. Arguably, putting fear toxin in his smoke bombs would be considerably less wrong than drugging mental patients out of their mind when they’re supposed to be receiving therapy (this is also the issue where he illegally releases Poison Ivy because she did him a favor, which is both morally questionable and relevant to the current topic).

Jonathan obviously already thinks Batman is the most interesting possible case study in fear; it’s why he keeps coming back to Bruce and Gotham despite being one of the more independent villains in Batman’s rogue gallery in the New 52. So though he would have to give up actively kidnapping people (which would be a huge sacrifice, I’m sure), teaming up with Bruce would give him unrestricted access to his favorite test subject. Unfortunately, it seems very possible that he would fall back to old tricks if he ever felt that he’d gotten everything he could out of a partnership with Bruce. Fortunately, that would probably take a VERY long time.