#anyway should I or should I not dare to do this thing XD

[blackbutler-readerinsertsandjunk]

sometimes self care is watching The Last of Us with your mom and slowly but surely wanting to make up an AU for every other blessed fandom you’re in

UGH IT’S SO GOOD

it hits all my ‘dark shit and medical shit interspersed with small bits of fluff and hope’ cravings ahahaha

do I dare to make a TLOU for the Kuro characters here............. DO I DARE.

[torgawl]

the arguments homophobic people make against same sex couples raising kids makes literally zero sense considering they raise no problem to single parent families. the problem really isn't that there's an absent gender, because if it was they would chase and/or blame single parents and they don't.

[anyarose011]

Agape

Pairing: Lucius x Reader

Summary: After the Roman Empire had fallen, birthing the Republic, you and Lucius had finally found a moment to breathe in each other's presence. Over a few years' journey of healing, you find that is both exhausting, yet all the more fulfilling at the same time.

Part 2 of 2 (Masterlist)

Warning(s): Past SA, Depictions of Grief, Violence, Angst, Miscommunication, Historical Inaccuracies [I tried my best to make it kind of accurate], Nudity (sexual and non-sexual), Mutual Masturbation, Oral Sex (f receiving), P in V Sex

Paul Mescal's facial hair in All of Us Strangers, if you can hear us, please save us. Nobody ask me how I went from "’Oh, I’m just gonna write some scenes about healing from trauma, and the rest is smut! Easy!" to then making it just a little longer than the first part. I'm a yapper, but holy shit XD. Anyway, this is just shameless pRopAgAnDa at what I personally view a husband to act like (even in modern times). So, without further ado, thousands of words of hurt/comfort and smut.

Word Count: 16.4k

You were a lucky child. When you were twelve and your friend was married off to a man who was forty-two, you asked your father when you would be married.

He tucked you in that night, saying that he wasn’t certain, and that you had nothing to fear; for he wouldn’t promise you to a man who was in a war the same year you were born. He would have to know him personally as well, saying.

“It’s easier to like a man than have to plan his assassination if he dared lay a hand on you.”

You like to think he would have approved of Lucius; he was the once heir to the Roman Empire.

You don’t think he would have approved of your…informal marriage.

“A year.” Lucius stated as the two of you sat together in one of the piazzas. “As long as we are not separated from each other for more than three days, Rome will view us as married if we live in the same household for a year.”

You hummed. “And why should we care what Rome views?”

“Men won’t stop their advances on you if they saw you as my sister.” he explained. “Even as a wife, that doesn’t stir them.”

“It’s a very Christian belief of you to have.”

“But it makes them think thoroughly on if they want to risk tainting you.” Lucius finally looked at you. “Knowing that I would break every finger they touched you with.”

Even with his proclamation, you merely shrugged. “Being the emperor’s favorite whore, I doubt they would care.”

He sighed. “Do you want to know what my mother wrote? Her final words that will forever be with me because they are in ink? ‘Take her as your wife.’”

It had only been one day since Lucilla’s death, since Rome had become a Republic, and no one knew exactly what to do.

Yet…even at the mention of her presence, you felt tears spring to your eyes.

How you hated crying; and crying and crying.

“It is wise.” You finally settled on. “The people here too must see me as a traitor.”

“You would be dead if they did.”

“It’s still early.” You smiled sadly. “I desired to be free of the emperors, but all they must have saw was lust for power.”

Lucius sighed. “If it is a concern, then I believe it is best to leave Rome.”

Suddenly, you were no longer afraid for your life. You scowled. “Leave the city you risked your life to liberate?”

“It is not just my own life I need to think of now, is it?”

“Then think of mine.” you began. “I don’t wish to leave. Where would we even go? I know nothing outside of Rome.”

This would have been solved if you somehow still had the house you grew up in. The moment Geta claimed you, it was gone. Even with the fall of the Empire, and the birth of the Republic, you could not take it back.

Among many other things, you could not take it back.

“We’ll live just outside the walls.” Lucius suggested. “A farm perhaps a few miles from here-.”

“-A farm?” You questioned. “You know how to farm? Because I sure don’t.”

“I’ve lived longer on a farm than I have in a palace.”

It shouldn’t have surprised you, but it did. You also weren’t in the position to bargain. Even though it wasn’t going to be what most would deem an ‘official’ marriage, he still owned you. That was how it always was, whether living outside of the Roman walls or not. Still, you had to try.

“I will learn as much as I need to,” You shook your head. “but I will find a job in the city. You cannot believe I will be shut out-.”

“-Do you want to share a room, or would you like your own?”

You furrowed your brow. “What?”

Lucius restated. “We don’t have any money to buy a farm, so I’ll build us one. Do you want your own room?”

You had only known him for a grand total of a day and a half (if you were to add up all the previous times you had spoken to him before Macrinus’ death), so needless to say, his offer shocked you; more so, it impressed you.

“Isn’t it odd for a man and wife to not share a bed?” You asked.

“So, you want to share a room?”

“No.” was your immediate response. “I just…”

Am not used to compromising with men without them threatening my life.

“Won’t it cost money to build a house?” You asked instead. “None the less, more for another room?”

“I only want you to be happy, if we’re to be married.”

There you were, asking every question and not being satisfied with his answers, yet he was remaining patient.

“Thank you.” You bowed your head in thanks for just a second before questioning. “I am still allowed to have a job in the city? It will help with the cost, of course.”

 “Where exactly do you intend to work?”

He said your name; not ‘Julia’, the name you had whispered to him in his cell. Lucius was the only one who had said it to you, for you did not even tell Lucilla or Marcus. It still felt strange hearing it on your lips, nonetheless, his.

Still, shaking your discomfort away, you hummed humorlessly. “I know two women who run their own businesses; hairdressing and tailoring. I’m better at hair than clothes, but not so much. And you?”

He sighed. “I’ll see if there’s any other farmers needing a hand.”

“You’re going to work for a farmer to build a farm?”

“It sounded more bizarre in your head than when you said it aloud, did it not?”

That was the first thing you found out about Lucius after all the bloodshed and heartbreak of the last week:

He spoke with such a straight tone, you did not know he was joking until he would smile just a hint; you couldn’t really call it a true smile.

You managed to grin. “I suppose it makes sense. You should find one that will let us sleep there.”

And he did. A farm just a few miles outside of Rome took both you and Lucius in. It was substantial, housing five chickens, two cows, three pigs, four horses, and seven human children. Albeit the children helped with the chores, but the eldest was only ten and could not manage any of the heavy lifting whatsoever, which was where Lucius came in.

From sun up to sun down, he’d work on the farm. The farmers, Atticus and Diana, let you sleep in the barn of all places. The hayloft was nice for the both of you; enough space to spread out but not be right next to each other. There was also somewhat of a wall between the two of you, giving the illusion of separate rooms.

It was certainly an adjustment for you; had been sleeping on the softest of beds for months, but even so, you just missed the bed from your old house.

Lucius fell asleep the second he laid on the hay.

Dreams and nightmares were always a peculiar thing. Some days, you would dream of your mother and father, some days, they would be of Lucilla and Marcus.

You had nightmares of what befell you before coming to the farm; Macrinus and his manipulation, Caracalla’s temper, Geta…

Yet, the worst that would happen would be you waking up more tired than the night prior. You knew Lucius was having nightmares too, but every time you approached him, he would lie and say he was fine, or simply not want to speak of it.

You stopped asking.

For the first few days on the farm, you were put to work by watching over the younger children when their mother was busy. Somehow, it was the older ones you didn’t mind, it was the youngest baby who was a handful.

It’s morbid to say, but you always wondered how any of them survived infancy.

Luckily, you managed to get back to Rome after perhaps a week of being stranded on the farm. It was almost an hour walk, and you had gotten up even before Lucius had, but it was worth it.

It wasn’t that you felt dead as you were on the farm per say, but walking through the streets brought a certain kind of life back into your steps.

You spent a good portion of the day trying to find the hairdressers you talk to Lucius about. Just as you were about to give up and try again tomorrow, something caught your ear.

Hebrew.

You turned over your shoulder and saw a man speaking in Latin to another man and a pregnant woman. The father had spoken in broken Latin before turning to his wife, speaking quickly in Hebrew as if to ask her what to say.

One of the men began to yell, and you rushed over, speaking to the patriarch of the family.

“What’s going on?” You asked quickly.

His eyes grew as if you were the first person in Rome to understand him (you probably were). “I paid for a bag of peaches fairly; two bronze, yet they’re saying it wasn’t enough.”

You turned to the men behind you. “He says he gave you two bronze for the peaches.”

“It was three.” The Roman man gritted his teeth.

Tilting your head, you tried. “Show me your stand so we may see.”

It was perhaps stupid of you to challenge him; yet, he controlled his tempter and led you to his fruit stand. The sign by the peaches indeed said ‘2’, but there was also a good amount of peaches blocking the bottom half of the sign.

When you moved a few, it read ‘3’.

You smiled, looking at the man who spoke Hebrew. “It is three, but it’s not your fault this brute didn’t notice either.”

He nodded, returning your grin before handing the men another copper. With an few mumbled exchanges, the man and his wife were on their way.

“You have Judeans in your family?” The man crudely asked.

Still, you decided to reciprocate his crassness with kindness. “I actually speak five languages.”

He rose his brows. “Is that a fact?”

“Yes, yes it is.”

He hummed, holding his hand out. “Isidorus.”

“Julia.” Was your immediate response as he took your hand and kissed your knuckles. It wasn’t even your own choice to say that name; it was what you lived by. Retracting your hand, you shake your head and said your own name. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-.”

“-All of Rome knows who you are.” He interrupted. “Do not be afraid of your own people. Most of them were there simply a week ago when you tried to slay Macrinus but was there to comfort lady Lucilla in her final moments.”

You only nodded, not wanting to be praised. “I thank you for your kindness.”

“With certain.” He nodded. “You are with child; only a monster would harm a woman carrying.”

The events of the past weeks had made you forgotten about the false babe. Luckily, the fear upon your face could be used to your advantage.

“Are you not well?” Isidorus questioned.

You dropped your gaze, stammering your tone. “The…I lost the child.”

He looked down as well. “Oh…I’m so sorry.”

“No,” you shook your head. “it’s…it feels odd. His father was terrible but…”

“Why are you perusing Rome unchaperoned?” He changed the subject.

 “My betrothed is being put to work,” you immediately answered. “and I am scouring the streets to find my own.”

“What has your luck been?”

“Nothing.”

Isidorus hummed. “I could change that.”

Even at the thought of what he was alluding to, you smiled. “Good sir, I am not in the position to sell my body-.”

“-None of that.” he waved his hand. “My brother works down at the entrance of the city gates. They’re always in need of translators.”

You nodded, considering. “When may I meet with him?”

“Tomorrow?” He asked. “Midday at the gates with many people watching so you do not feel threatened?”

The two of you laughed, and you agreed. “I shall be there. Thank you.”

“Anything to help a woman of the people.”

You walked all the way back to the farm with a skip in your step. Even at dinner, you were more talkative with the rest of the family. Lucius certainly took notice as the two of you were settling down for the night.

“You seemed better today.” He complimented, laying onto his bed of hay.

“So, I’ve been absolutely horrible the rest?” You teased, peeking around the wall of the hayloft.

 “No, just what I think you were like before everything; more yourself.” He explained. “Did the hairdressers go well?”

Leaning against the wall, you crossed your arms. “I’m actually working as a translator down by the city entrance.”

He gave you a look. “How’d this come about?”

“Well,” you began. “I overheard two men arguing, one was speaking Hebrew, and I asked him what was wrong. There was a misunderstanding over peaches of all things, I helped them talk it out, and it was solved with no bloodshed. The vendor said his brother works at the gates and is always in need of translators and offered to meet with him tomorrow. It will be midday and so many people around; do not worry.”

Lucius nodded. “I’ll accompany you.”

“Did you not hear what I just said? I shall be fine.”

“I have no doubt you would.” You knew that was a lie. “One of the scythes broke today, I’ll need to buy another one in the city.”

You didn’t know if that was a lie or not, but it wouldn’t surprise you if Lucius would sneak out in the night and break equipment simply to go with you.

Sighing, you went behind the wall to your side of the hayloft. “Fine.”

To no one but Lucius’ surprise, Isidorus had not lied about his brother, nor the job offer. Of course, the brother had been off put at a woman being the translator (because everyone knows that they are the lesser sex). Still, after some convincing (you talked to a Greek family, a man from Anatolia, and two brothers from Persia), he said you could be put to work.

Lucius stood there the whole hour you had proved yourself.

“You couldn’t have gotten the scythe while I worked?” You questioned him while walking home.

He kept his gaze on the road before him, carrying the farm equipment. “It was engaging to watch.”

You hummed. “I could see how engaged you were while you stood like this.” You crossed your arms and scowled.

“I did not look like that.” He scoffed.

“You did so!” You refuted, lowering your voice. “My name is Lucius Verus Aurelius, the Last Gladiator, son of Lucilla and Maximus, grandson of Marcus Aurelius.”

He looked down, mouth upturning a little. “I do not sound like that.”

“Is that a smile?!” you gasped. “Gods above, I never thought you could unless you were attempting humor!

“Away with you, woman.”

You only laughed as the sun was starting to set.

There was something called a “Fullmoon” period in a marriage. Most now would say it’s “Honeymoon”, but the period in time where a man and woman were in a complete state of euphoria together was called “Fullmoon” because it only lasted for a month.

You and Lucius (even with your strange circumstance) were not immune to this.

A month later, when you had fully settled into a mundane life of working in different areas for hours upon hours, the only times you saw Lucius was when you ate dinner with the farmer’s family, and before going to bed.

It didn’t’ effect you that much for the first three months, as you both were still on good terms and were fine simply cohabitating without affection. This marriage was purely for protection and to honor Lucilla’s wishes.

Then…Lucius came to you one day, saying that together, you both had enough money to build a farm. He already had a patch of land picked out from the help of the famer who employed him. It was five miles away from the farm you stayed at. Five miles more of a journey to the city.

You would move in once the walls were built, which he said would only take a week or two.

It was too fast for you.

Still, you had to go along with it, because you were to be his wife; nothing more. Even so, nothing out of the ordinary besides your hidden, simmering annoyance happened between you two.

The first day construction was to be done was when light was shed upon it.

“Lucius!” You called his name as you approached him and a few other men hauling the wood and stone that would be used. It was mid-twilight when you ran to them.

He furrowed his brow, walking towards you. “Aren’t you meant to be in the city?”

Grinning from ear to ear, you shook your head. “I asked for the day off because of the house. He said I-.”

“-You need to go back and tell him you’ll work.”

Your smile fell from his usual, monotone demeanor. “He doesn’t expect me to come in today-.”

“-Then he’ll be happy to see you.”

“May I just talk for a moment?!” You yelled.

His said nothing.

Sighing, you began. “I will be useful in any capacity. If you need me to help dig for water, measure supports, lift anything-.”

“-Your shoulder cannot carry-.”

You retorted. “-It might be the shoulder you shot, but it’s the shoulder I have to live with, and I will tell you if something is too heavy to carry.”

It hadn’t been the first time you brought up your shoulder after Rome was free. Yet, in the past, it was always out of good fun; something to say to him when you didn’t want to carry as little as an egg from the chicken coop. You told the children the story too why you had to set one of them down after carrying her for so long.

You expected them to cower away from Lucius when he returned for supper, but instead, they all tackled him to the ground to defend your honor.

They didn’t hurt him of course, and you laughed until you couldn’t breathe.

Yet, at that moment, you said it with nothing but disdain; and he heard it in every word. You thought it would have been enough to guilt him into letting you help, you made sure of it.

Lucius titled his head back toward the main road. “Go on, now. The sun will be up soon, it’ll be better to walk without daylight beating down on you.”

The audacity he had. Usually, on the times you’d have disagreements of sorts, you’d try to leave with dignity; perhaps a word of sarcasm or two.

No, you simply turned on your heel and marched away in a huff.

You were harsher that day when translating, and you were still angry by the time the day ended. You ate dinner outside by yourself (until three of the seven children came outside to eat with you), and did not utter a ‘goodnight’ to Lucius before laying down to sleep.

Neither of you spoke to the other for days after that.

It was one morning, not even when the sun was out, as you tried to tiptoe around him, did he ask from his makeshift bed.

“Do you remember where the house is?”

You nearly fell off the ledge of the hayloft. “What is wrong with you?!”

“Do you remember?”

“Yes!” you whispered, afraid to wake the whole farm. “Why?”

“We made the water pump, and the walls and floors are finished. We’ll be able to sleep there now.”

“I don’t see the appeal in sleeping in a house with no roof.”

“I’ll put half of it on today. Tell your foreman too that you won’t be able to work for the next week.”

You furrowed your brow. “Why?”

“I’m teaching you how to tend to a farm.” He wrapped his blankets tighter around him and turned his back to you.

And you continued on your way; making the long trek to the city, which would only be longer when you moved to the house.

When your work was over, you walked and walked. You took a short break at the farmer’s house, making your final goodbyes to the children, and gathering what little belongings you owned.

As you tried to leave, Diana stopped you. She was leading one of the horses, a berber, behind her.

“Take her,” she handed you the reins. “you shouldn’t have to walk so far.”

You shook your head. “I simply cannot-.”

“-I insist.” She smiled. “She’s yours now. Think of it as payment for helping me with the little beasts that are my children.”

Smiling politely, it soon faded. She took notice. “What is it?”

“…I’ve only ever ridden once, and I was a child.”

She sighed yet was still kind. “Come on, my husband’s horse is at your farm. I’ll ride back with him.”

Despite your inexperience, it was actually nice riding a horse. It was perhaps the closest you could ever come to flying in your lifetime; maybe that’s why you enjoyed it. As you were nearing your soon-to-be home, you saw a familiar silhouette along with some others.

Atop the house, against the setting sun, you watched as Lucius continued to add tiles to the unfinished roof. His shirt was off, and even with night beginning to set in with the cold air, he was still breaking a sweat from the rigorous work. You would be a liar if you say that you didn’t catch yourself staring, and it was Diana who had to take the reins.

“What a fine home!” She broke you out of your trance, and when Lucius looked in your direction, you snapped your gaze away.

Lucius nodded. “All that needs to be done is the roof.” He jumped onto the ground just as you were sliding off the horse. He gave you his hand as you were, and you took it.

“Thank you.”

Atticus and the other workers went to a lone tree where their horses were tied. Atticus then approached both you and Lucius.

“Well,” he smiled. “it was lovely hosting the both of you. Please come back as often as you can; I’m sure the children will miss you.”

You all exchanged your final goodbyes, and it when everyone rode off away from you, did you realize something. This was the first time in a while you were alone with Lucius that wasn’t when going to sleep or waking up.

“Do you have a name for the horse?” Lucius asked.

Turning over your shoulder, you led the steed to the tree, petting her as you began to tie her up. “Not at the moment. She’s yours too, do you have any?”

“You’ll be with her more; you should name her.”

Humming you looked at him when you finished securing the horse. “You asked them to give her to me, didn’t you?”

He shrugged. “They asked how they could repay you for taking care of their children, I mentioned how it would be a longer journey to the city once we moved here. That’s all I did.”

…He was better at asking for forgiveness than for permission; that was another thing you learned about him. Still, you nodded your appreciation, inspecting the area around you. It was quite beautiful even with its plainness. The fields stretched on for miles, and there were no tall buildings to cover the night sky. Even the unfinished house brought a sense of happiness to you.

Something that was, at least partially, your own.

“Where will the barn and chicken coop go?” You questioned.

A hint of a smile played on his mouth, but in Lucius fashion, did his best to hide it. “You were complaining about not having a roof, and now you wonder about things for the animals?”

“Perhaps I’m more interested in farming that you are.”

“I’ll teach you.” he led you into the house. “Come on.”

 The front living space was large, and in the corner of it had an oven, so that was where the kitchen would be. Lucius showed you the two rooms as well; each having a single pillow and a blanket.

“We’ll begin planting tomorrow.” he announced. “I don’t think I’ll have to wake you up.”

“You won’t.” You nodded. “Goodnight, Lucius.”

“Goodnight.” He said your name.

You didn’t think you’d ever get over the sound of your own name from his lips.

You named the horse after your mother. Well…not the exact same name, but a similar one. It was quite a scene too when confessing to Lucius you could exactly remember how to ride a horse by yourself.

He didn’t laugh at you, that was what greatly surprised you. He spent an hour teaching you, and you were able to ride her on your own.

Farming was more difficult than you thought it would be, but not so horrible either. Yes, where Lucius was patient with you for the first few days, he made a few snide comments as time passed. Nothing outright mean, but still enough to get under your skin.

Still, you managed to pick it up within the few weeks after that.

He had even let you help him finish the roof of the house; something you didn’t expect him to do. After living in the house for a month, both of you managed to buy actual beds for your rooms, among other luxuries like a few tables and chairs for the main living area, and utensils both for cooking and for eating.

The bathroom was completely bare. Having spent all the money on everything else, it would take time for the both of you to buy a bathtub. Bathing wasn’t a problem back on Atticus and Diana’s farm, but now being away from them, you would be forced to rely on the public baths in the city…

Even with some bathhouses having baths only for women, that did not stop men from forcing their way into them.

You didn’t mind being dirty for weeks on end.

The two of you fell into another pattern of life; you going into the city and spending hours translating foreign dialogue, and Lucius working on the farm for most days, sometimes accompanying you.

There was…something else strange as well.

It was always a coin toss on what weeks Lucius would speak to you or not.

Yes, he was always a man of few words, but this was different. There were some days when you asked him about his day, he would tell you what boring tasks he did. Than, on others, it was just one word: “Good.”

Never “Bad”, never “Just okay”; only “Good”. Even when you knew it wasn’t, that’s all he would say.

And you could endure it.

It had already been a little over half a year since the two of you started living together. In the eyes of Rome (as mere Plebians), you would be married once a year passed.

This was perhaps the best marriage you could as for as a Roman woman. Still…every day that Lucius would not speak to you only brought more dread upon your shoulders.

When he stopped even looking at you, that was when you went to Diana one day.

“It’s so lovely to see you.” She smiled, setting down two cups of wine and sitting. “It’s felt like ages!”

With her youngest baby on your lap, you chuckled, taking a sip of your drink. “You honestly didn’t need to get the wine out.”

“Nonsense!” She waved her hand. “It’s a celebration just to be in your presence. I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you as well.”

“How’s the farm? Lucius?”

“Well,” you took another sip, setting your cup down. “the farm has been alright. I know at least how to properly water crops and know when they’re ready to harvest or not. I help Lucius sometimes, but…he likes things his own way. He was a farmer too, I understand.”

She hummed. “And as a betrothed? I hope having your own home would help; to me, you two treated each other more like acquaintances than anything else.”

All you could do was avoid eye contact and bounce the giggling baby on your knee.

“Ah.” She sighed. “So not much has changed?”

“We both talk more than we had at your far, but somehow, less at the same time.” You explained.

Diana reached over and held your hand, asking softly. “When was the last time you were intimate?”

As if she were a man, you tore your hand from hers. “What?”

“I do not wish anything to be forced upon you,” she stated first. “especially with what has happened to you. But…it is still important, especially to your future marriage.”

“We…we haven’t done anything in…months.” You were not going to tell her you hadn’t even seen him naked. You were not going to tell her you hadn’t done you “duty” as a woman.

She nodded. “There must be something plaguing his mind terribly.”

“I know that!” You cried. “He just won’t tell me.”

“Men do not like talking,” Diana sighed. “I have been married to Atticus for fifteen years, and even after ten children, there are parts of his past I still do not know of. What Lucius frets over is important though. You must dig your heels into the ground and let him know you are not doing anything until he tells you what he has issue with.”

The baby on your lap cooed as you held her, reaching for parts of your clothing. Diana took her from you once the baby started fussing, and you offered her a grateful smile.

“I’ll try my best with him.”

She squeezed your shoulder. “He will come to his senses. If not, then he truly hit his head too hard in the Colosseum.”

Except, you couldn’t confront him when you got home. Even though the sun was only beginning to set, when you arrived, the house was silent. You peeked into his bedroom and saw that he was already fast asleep.

With a sigh, you finished your nightly activities, and when the sun went down, you were in your own bed.

The nightmare was unlike any you had before.

Hands from all around you reached out to you. Some grabbed clumps of your hair, stuck their fingers into your mouth, caressed the most intimate parts of your body, or even tear your skin off.

You blinked and then you were in the palace, surrounded by cloaked figures. Someone forced you onto your back, and you looked up and saw Geta, raising a knife high above his head before diving it into your stomach. He carved it out before digging his hands into the opening he made and pulled out your womb.

After sitting up in bed, you had thought you awoken. When you opened your bedroom door, you were welcomed to a field of reeds, seeing nothing for miles. All but a silhouette in the distance. You could not make out it to be a man or a woman; all you knew was that you needed to run to them.

Yet, even as you dashed through the fields, calling out a name you do not even remember, your feet sank into the ground with each step.

The earth swallowed you whole before you could even reach them.

You didn’t awake with a scream; you didn’t even awake with a cry. You did awake in a sweat. Sitting up, you slowly pulled the blanket away from your body. Your stomach was unwounded, and nothing had happened.

Without knowing why, you rose from your bed and slipped on your sandals. Not even putting on a robe, you walked out of the house into the cold, night air. Numbly, you treaded through the tall grass away from the house and stopped.

The stars above you watched as you fell to your knees, and the past finally had the last laugh.

You wept for your mother (whose touch you never felt).

You wept for your father (who you had to take care of the same way he took care of you).

You wept for Marcus (the first man outside of your father to ever see you as a person).

You wept for Lucilla (the woman who saved you in more ways than one).

You wept for the innocence you lost to the twin emperors (and how you mercilessly killed them).

You wept and wept, until you felt bile claw its way up your throat and out of your mouth.

The tears did not stop even after you were finished.

Two hands grabbed your shoulders from behind, and you tried to tear yourself away with a sharp cry. You were turned around, and even though your tears blinded you, you could see that it was Lucius.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, his eyes grown.

You couldn’t speak clearly, only shaking your head and saying ‘No’ over and over. Lucius led you to the water pump and sat you down by it. Cranking the handle until the water flowed freely, he cupped his hand to catch some of it before gently washing your face.

The cool water grounded you, and your sobs began to slow. Once you were only left with shallow breathing and a stuffed nose, Lucius finally sat beside you.

“What happened?” He asked again, although, returning to his normal, straight-toned self.

“Bad dream.” Was all you said.

He said nothing at first. Then, looking down at the grass beneath him, he said. “Would talking about it help you?”

It was meant to be a helpful question, but it only angered you. “You ask that now? After I run out into the night screaming?”

Lucius squinted his eyes. “Why does that bother you?”

“I know you have nightmares too.” You scoffed. “I have asked you dozens of times if you wish to talk to me about them, and you have always said no. You’ve never once asked me about mine, so how dare you expect me to tell you about it now when you cannot even share yours with me!”

“That’s not fair.” He shook his head.

You stood up, walking back to the house. “You’re right, it isn’t fair.”

He jumped to his feet. “You can’t walk away without telling me why this is troubling you.”

“You first.”

“What?”

You turned to face him. “We are to be married in less than a year, at least ‘In the eyes of Rome’ as you say, yet you do not even look at me anymore!”

His shoulders fell, and he shook his head. “I am looking at you-.”

“-I ask you how you are these days, and you lie to me every time.” You interrupted. “The few instances you allow me to work beside you, you criticize every little thing I do. I understand that I am the farthest thing you wanted for as a wife-.”

 It was that word that struck a chord. Despite saying it every so often those past few months…it was only then it occurred to you that where Lucius was your first husband…you were not his first wife.

He tore his gaze away from yours, as if he knew you had figured it out. You sighed. “Gods above…I’m sorry for what has happened to her, and I will never know the loss of a love like that…but I cannot be viewed as her replacement-.”

“-Who told you that you were?” He sharpened his tone.

You swallowed, knowing that this would all end in tears no matter what you said. “You do not tell me anything. I will never ask you to care for me the way you cared for her, but she is gone-.”

“-I couldn’t do anything after she died but weep and watch her body float into the ocean.” He hissed. “I vowed to kill the man that slaughtered her, and I didn’t. It had been perhaps just a month since her death, did I promise myself to another woman. I have dishonored her memory three times.”

“I do not know how long you need me to apologize for something I could not control, but I will if that means you will stop hating me.”

“I don’t hate you.”

“You hate that I will be your wife!” Your voice was growing hoarse. “I don’t understand it at all. I will be whatever it is you wish me to be in few months’ time, because you will own me. Even if you wish me to be dead, it shall be done because what I want will not matter-.”

“-Must you make everything about yourself?!” He finally yelled. “Would it soothe you if I said I despised every part of you? That if Jupiter himself came down and offered me my old life in exchange for you, I would give you up to him?! Would it give you any peace of mind if I told you I would have rather died in the arena than live a thousand years with you?”

You had expected him to at least pause after he made his confession. To at least have the courage to look you in the eye and watch as the words sunk into your being. Yet, as soon as he finished, he stomped back to the house; and you were alone outside again.

The tears upon your face glimmered from the light in the sky above you, for all you could do was stare at the little farmhouse Lucius had built for you.

How strange that something you once saw as a sign of devotion, was now revealed to be one of complicity.

He had admitted his disdain for your future marriage. You knew that it would be loveless (you would never escape that), but you wished at least for respect. Seeing as how you were not even going to have that, you dragged your feet over to the tree where your horse was tied up.  Mounting her with nothing but the clothes on your back, you raced down the pathway.

For the first day, you had stayed at Diana and Atticus’ farm. You said nothing about Lucius, and tried to spend the most time with the children to avoid any questions.

On the second day, you finally went back to the city. Even though the man in charge of you yelled louder than Lucius had at you, it did not phase you. You merely nodded and returned to work. With what money they paid you for the day, you spent it on a room at the safest inn you could find. You had another nightmare that night. Not as horrible as the one two days prior, but awful enough for you to lay awake until the sun rose.

The third day seemed to be ordinary, until you finished your job, and you were promenading along the market. As you eyed the fruit at Isidorus’ stand, a man came to stand beside you.

“Good sir,” you heard Lucius’ voice. “do you have a wife?”

Isidorus nodded. “I do.”

“What from your stand would you give her if she was angry at you?”

He eyed you before smiling at Lucius. “My ears to listen.”

You turned, promptly walking away. Of course, Lucius followed.

“I didn’t know you confided into strangers about our qualms.”

“He’s not a stranger.” you kept trying to lose him. “And gifts will not suffice for an apology this time.”

He got in front of you, uttering your name. You stopped, sighing. “What else have you come to say to me?”

“That I am a fool.”

Although you weren’t necessarily expecting him to admit it, you only nodded. “You very much are.”

He began. “For my entire life, I was not allowed to be entirely truthful with others. Whether it was how I felt in the moment, or even my own name. I’m not used to the freedom of being candid with one another. And I have been mistreating you; I have provided a home, but I haven’t provided your wellbeing. Ari-.” Lucius paused, breathing through his nose. “Arishat and I lived on a farm, that was all I knew while being a husband. I will love her until the end of my days, but that does not give me the right to neglect you. I will…I will try with all my being to share my thoughts with you.”

You stared at him, feeling as if you would blink, and you would awaken from another dream. Yet once you did and saw that he was still in front of you, you said.

“I didn’t mean to insult your memory of her.”

He shook his head. “I believe she would hit me if she were here and saw how I treated you.”

“Thank you.” You nodded. “Truly, for everything. I…it’s not only you, I don’t know if I will ever feel like myself after…everything.”

Lucius already knew. Still, looking around himself, he then said. “Where is your horse?”

“The inn I’ve been staying at has a stable. You walked the whole way here?”

“It’s what I deserved.”

“You smell horrible.” You mustered a shy grin.

He mirrored you, looking away. “I have for a while.”

“I do as well. I was…I was going to brave the baths; would you like to join me?”

Your offer took him by surprise. Usually, a question like that would be an invitation to more salacious activities to take place. Still, what took him aback more was how you were initially so afraid of the public baths, yet there you were.

“I shall.” He agreed.

Thus, the two of you walked beside one another. There were many baths in Rome, yet it would be challenging to find one that had a separate bath for women and one for men. By the time you reached the third bathhouse, you sighed.

“This will do.”

Lucius shook his head. “I’ll ask the workers at this one if they know-.”

“-No.” You stopped him. “It’s fine. I wish to speak more with you.”

He was still hesitant, but gave in. The two of you entered and drifted off to the separate changing rooms. It was strange that the bathhouse had rooms for the different sex to disrobe, but not baths itself.

After locking your clothes away, you ventured out into the main pool. You were welcomed to an array of naked bodies. You weren’t entirely innocent of course, even before everything. You were never to see any of these people again; it was Lucius you would live with.

Quickly, you disappeared half of your body under the surface of the water and clung to the wall of the large bath. Other people around you laughed and socialized, only putting you more in the eyes of men who only came to the baths for one thing.

Yet, before you could take a moment to worry, your eyes fell to Lucius who entered. You soon averted them and felt the water shift beside you as he entered. You turned to look at him, leveling yourself with the side of the pool, essentially shoulder to shoulder with him. The hear radiating off of his body onto yours reminded you too much of that night months ago; the one where you whispered your name into his ear.

“What were you like as a boy?” You questioned in an attempt to hide how flustered you were.

He hummed. “Why do you ask?”

“If you wish to be more honest with me, than I think it should be best to stary with something minor.”

“I understand. I was spoiled growing up in the palace. Still, I wished nothing more than for adventure. All my life, the mere thought of war and battles were taught as a way to bring glory to the empire; pride for one’s family. I had gotten my foolish wish when Maximus died, and my mother sent me away from Rome.” He paused momentarily, before continuing. “I ran all across the land until I was thirteen, where I finally settled in Numidia. I had changed my named too many times to count and settled upon Hanno.”

Your attention did not waver for a moment. When he was finished you asked. “How old were you when you left?”

“Eight…” There was a sad silence between the two of you. A silence held in almost reverence for all the troubles he had been through. “What about you?”

Even with your uneasiness to answer your starkly different childhood, you did so; also have been promising to be honest with him. You spoke of your father, your past friends, the house you grew up in. He never once looked upon you with envy or hatred.

“Your father sounded like a good man.” He said.

“He was.” You nodded, feeling a weight settle in your chest. "I think he would have liked you.”

“I can only hope.”

The conversation halted after that, unknown if you should wait for him to ask a question, or for you to ask another. Both of your eyes drifted around the bath house as people filtered in and out. When your gaze fell back onto Lucius’ you watched his eyes flicker to something behind you. Before you could utter a word, he placed his hand upon your bare back, bringing his lips to the space between your ear and your jaw.

It all happened so fast you had no time to react, and your body shivered upon the feel of him being so close to you.

“There’s a man eyeing you from behind.” He whispered into your skin. “Don’t look at him, just keep looking at me. I’m sorry.”

You pulled away slightly, doing as he told. He traced circles on your back with his thumb, staring intently at you. Even as you shrunk under his eyes, they did not frighten you.

Deciding to play along, you trailed your hand up his bare arm until resting on his shoulder. You felt his skin erupt into goosebumps and he took a sharp intake of breath.

“Okay?” You asked.

He nodded. “Yes, it’s just…it’s been a while.”

Anyone with any sense knew that meant more than one thing. It had been a while since he felt anyone’s touch; nonetheless, a naked woman’s.

From behind him, you saw a small group of girls all looking at you. They all looked a little younger than you, and acted like so, giggling loudly and talking without a care in the world. It was only then that you noticed they were looking at Lucius.

“Is there someone eyeing me now?” He attempted to tease you when he noticed your gaze.

You nodded, no hint of humor behind your voice. “A good few of them.”

“Is that so?”

You removed your hand. “I wouldn’t mind, you know.”

“Wouldn’t mind what?” He pinched his eyebrows together.

“…Getting your release from a woman that isn’t me.” You were puzzled by his seeming ignorance. “You’re a man, I understand-.”

He said your name with somewhat of gasp. You didn’t listen one bit.

“No, I mean it. I will not be more selfish than I already have been, expecting you to remain celibate because I don’t think I will-.”

Lucius said your name again and you stopped. Even when you did, he said it a third time as if to know he had your attention. He continued to run his fingers up and down your back.

“I will not dishonor you-.”

“-I have been dishonored several times before, it does not matter-.”

“-Listen to me.” He said softly yet firmly. “Even if I desired someone carnally, it is not selfish of you to want my loyalty. I’m not a boy who wishes to bed anything that breathes. I don’t think I can do so with someone I do not have any deep feelings for. You are my wife, and I will not treat you less.”

He didn’t call you his ‘betrothed’. As if, the moment you accepted his apology, you were already his other half. To hear him speak with so much certainty after neither of you knowing what any day would bring…it brought an astonishing comfort you never knew you needed.

“Thank you.” You felt like your heart could beat again.

“You don’t-.”

“-No but I do. I don’t…I don’t think I could give you anything of myself if you wanted it. It’s still…I remember a lot of what Geta did to me, and I forgot it at the same time. It doesn’t happen a lot in my nightmares, but it still does. That one night you found me he…he cut out my womb and held it in his hands. I thought I woke up, but I didn’t, and I think I was in Elysian Fields, but I only saw a shadow. I don’t know what any of that means.”

Lucius let you finish all of the anxiety you had thrown onto him. Still, releasing a shallow breath, he said.

“You die in most of my dreams.” He clarified. “The bad ones, I mean. A lot of people do, but you’ve been in them the most. There are times I see both you and Arishat, or my mother, or all three of you and…those are the worst. The night I found you outside, I couldn’t…I had a horrible dream that I couldn’t even see your face, but I knew it was you when I found you hanging in the Colosseum.”

If the both of you weren’t naked and, in the bathhouse, you would have embraced him. Yet, with the most understanding look in your eyes, you brought your hand to the base of his neck, his loose curls between your fingers. You swore you felt him relax into your touch for just a moment.

“I’ve known everyone to have their own beliefs of dreams.” You whispered. “They’re meant to predict the future, they reflect the past, they are punishments, they are blessings, and they mean nothing. I wonder if it’s possible they are all of them.”

He nodded. “I don’t know what I believe in anymore.”

“I do.” Lucius unknowingly leaned into you just ever so slightly. You grinned from ear to ear, pulling your hand away from him. “I believe you need to cut your hair.”

He chortled. “I’m not spending anything on cutting it. It’s fine.”

“I’ll cut it then.”

“I would rather be stabbed.”

“Oh, quit being dramatic.” you playfully swatted him. “There’s a reason I would’ve been a better hairdresser than tailor.”

The two of you teased one another for a minute longer after that. Than, even though the conversation died, it was not in vain. There was a quiet gentleness and protectiveness as you both shared a short distance between each other while bathing. Lucius kept his eye on you more than you did him, knowing that it was always possible a man could try to take advantage of you.

When all was said and done, you got your horse from the stable at the inn, and the two of you rode back to the farm with a newfound understanding of each other.

More than a year and a half have passed since the fall of the Roman Empire and its subsequent birth of the Republic. Your strange marriage with Lucius grew into a friendship of respect and understanding. You both talked more than you had when you were first betrothed, even if your busy schedules remained the same.

The farm had improved after its first harvest, even raising enough money to build a chicken coop and house a few chickens. The house itself was more furnished, and the two of you managed to purchase a bathtub, no longer needing to use the public ones in the city.

Both of you had changed as well. Even with what minimal farm work you did, it built both your strength and stamina. Lucius had begun to grow out his facial hair; not much for it to be an actual beard, but more so just under his nose. You’d joke about it looking like a caterpillar, to which he would lightly shove you away.

After the intimate discussion the two of you shared, it was only then you both realized you still didn’t know much about each other. Most importantly, the little things that made each of you a person.

So, you’d take time to get to know one another.

You were helping Lucius pull weeds around the crops when you found out he had ripped a monkey’s throat out with his teeth during his very first gladiator fight.

You were reading a collection of poetry one night when Lucius told you that you mouth the words of whatever you’re reading if you find it most interesting.

During supper one night, Lucius ate the entirety of the plate only to then eat whatever else you hadn’t. That was when your theory was proven right; he does forget to eat sometimes.

Both of you had tried to keep the housework to an equal amount; if he cooked one night, you’d clean the kitchen and vice versa. Yet, some remained stagnant; you always cut his hair, yet he always changed the horses’ shoes.

Cutting his hair was perhaps your favorite way to speak with him.

“Remember to clean your sandals before coming in next time.” He reminded you as he sat on a tree trunk outside. “You tracked in mud.”

Standing behind him while trimming small hairs, you shook your head. “My apologies, master of the house; it was downpouring and I was freezing.”

“Serves you right, I’d say.”

You placed the tip of the shears against his neck. “What else do you have to say?”

He snickered. “That you’re an astonishing woman who I am blessed to have.”

“Wrong answer, all lies.” You pretended to stab him, only to bring the shears back to his hair.

“I’m not lying!” Lucius laughed.

You only gave him a ‘tsk’ before continuing. “Are you sleeping any better?”

He said nothing at first. Your eyes drifted down to his hands and saw him pull on his tunic; another telltale sign of his nervousness.

“I keep seeing my mother’s face.” He admitted. “Only her face, nothing else.”

“It was the third night last night, right?”

“Yes.”

You sighed. “Would you want to hear a dream I had a few days ago to make you feel better?”

“Better because it was happy, or because you think I’ll feel happy I wasn’t you?”

“The latter.”

“Tell me.”

You turned his head to the side gently, continuing your work. “I stood in front of the entire senate of Rome, and they were all laughing at me. I don’t even know what I said, they only laughed and laughed.”

“Is that not what happened to you in the waking day?”

“No, they listened…I think.” You shook our head. “It more so angers me that, in the waking life, I presented logic to them, and they still chose Macrinus who showed nothing of the sort.”

“Some men like to speak of only desiring logic yet run away with their emotions once it is presented.” Lucius stated. “What had you told them?”

“That all of Rome would continue to riot if they killed Lucilla.” You said grimly. “I still don’t understand; they had their proof of the rage Rome’s children could feel when their general was killed, the only reason the city did not fall was because Macrinus was slain. I’m done.”

You set your shears down and Lucius stood, shaking the fallen hair off his clothes. He turned to you.

“If it matters at all, I think the only reason this house hasn’t fallen is because of you.”

Grinning from ear to ear, you shoved him playfully. “Away with you, you’re just as much of the reason as I am.”

“I do all that I can.”

There were moments like this where you would not speak of childhood memories or events of your day. These moments were reserved for the days where it felt like time slowed down just to give you two the grace to speak about them in more detail.

With only a single candle between the two of you one quiet night, you told him how you have to walk a different path in the city sometimes simply to avoid brothels; hating the sounds you would hear from inside, the stench of cheap perfume and sweating bodies burning your nose, the men who would brag to their friends about the women they had.

At breakfast one day, before the sun had even rose, Lucius told you about a time when he was ten, still on the run. He had gone into a man’s house with the promise of food, only to then be hit the head with something so heavy, he was knocked out. He had awoken in a dark room, but managed to find a curtained window, and escaped. He never knew what would have happened to him if he had woken up just a minute later.

There was tenderness you shared with him that you had never shared with anyone in your life.You sht

That was only more apparent on one fateful day.

The first bad omen for the day that morning was when you had run out of sugar for breakfast that morning. The second was when your horse was extra stubborn as you rode her into the city; it was so out of the ordinary, you wondered if you did something to make her hate you.

Still, everything was fine once you went to work. At least it was for the first half of the day.

There were aggressive people from across the land coming into the city you certainly had to deal with, but the worst was when a man twice your size bluffed you with a slap. Even so, the other men you worked with had yelled and sent her away.

That day though…there was a woman with a look in her eyes.

You thought you had seen pure rage when you had been with Geta. Yet, that day was a lesson to you; wrath had many faces.

She mumbled in Greek, but you did not know what she said at first. Then, she attempted to speak Latin. You politely told her you could speak Greek, and so with exhaustion, she told you that she was going to visit her mother.

When asked for her mother’s name, she didn’t say it. After asking again, she became enraged, yelling at you that she should just be able to be let in. When you resisted, she grabbed your bad arm, yanking it to pull you closer to her.

The pain shot through your shoulder like a bolt of lightning, and you cried out. She tugged on your hair as the men beside you tried to pry her away from you. Luckily, she didn’t manage to yank any of it out once the men forced her away from you. Tears fell freely over your face as you cradled yourself, unable to stop the sobs from leaving your lips.

They let you leave early yet paid you as if you were there the whole day.

The ride back to the farm wasn’t any better, but at least your steed took notice of your heartache and was more merciful to you. When you made it home, you slowed her down when you saw Lucius limping towards the house.

You both stopped where you were, staring at one another as if you weren’t supposed to be seeing the other.

“Why are you back so early?” He asked first.

“Why are you dragging your foot?” You asked second.

Lucius took a deep breath, and you saw tears in his eyes. “I fell.”

The only time you had seen him cry was when burying Lucilla; it wouldn’t be from simply falling. You slowly pulled yourself off your horse but did so quick enough before he could rush to help you. You wished nothing more than to pull him into the warmth of the house, to sit him down and tend to his wound to distract you from your own.

Yet, the moment you took his hand, he began to weep.

“Oh Lucius.” You whispered, bringing your hand up to cradle his face. He wrapped both of his arms around you, bringing you onto the ground with him. You yelped a little when he squeezed your bad shoulder too tight, and he pulled away.

“What happened?” He asked.

You shook your head. “You need-.”

“-What happened?!”

Knowing he wouldn’t stop asking, you told him. “Someone at the gate attacked me. Pulled on my bad arm, my hair…it wasn’t as bad as you’d think-.”

“-Where is he?” He lowered his tone and his demeanor.

Your jaw dropped into a surprised huff. “She is long gone by now, and even if she wasn’t then as my husband, you should stay with me instead of wandering the streets of Rome hoping to find someone to be your anger’s victim!”

Though he still wore that rage upon his face, it soon fell once he saw your own tears fall from your eyes like dewdrops on flowers. Lucius laid himself flat on the dirt, and you sat above him.

“I have been married to you longer than I had been to Arishat.” He confessed. “I knew her for longer, but-but not as deeply; no, I-I knew her more than…I don’t…It’s been long since her death, yet there are moments I think of her, and I cannot stop crying.”

You never knew this was in his heart. You knew to never speak of Arishat, only listen whenever he would bring her up (even so, it was once in a blue moon).

“I’m sorry.” He sniffled, trying to pull himself together. “I know she is gone, and I shouldn’t be-.”

“-You shouldn’t what?” You interrupted. “Remember her? You think I wish for you to forget the woman you so loved?”

He shook his head. “No, but it’s selfish of me to-.”

You were the one to make him lose his words this time. With both hesitation certainty, you placed his head into your lap. It was too late for you to stop once you did, and you felt your own body tense. Then, upon taking a look at his body battered from rigorous work, and another at his face, which relaxed with his eyes fully shut, you ran your fingers through his hair.

“Lucius,” you sighed. “never will I think you are a horrible man for mourning her. You missing her shows just how much you adored her, and how she was a treasure to you. In another life, above all, I wish I could have met her. You are not in the wrong for wanting to see her again. I know you do not love me-.”

“-I do love you.” He opened his eyes upon saying it.

Your heart felt as if it was going to beat itself out of your chest and run away when he said those four words. To preserve your sanity, you took it a different way and smiled sadly.

“Not in the way you loved her.” You said softly. “But what else more can I ask for in a husband than one who treats me with a gentleness I did not know was possible? One who has been there to protect me even before we were married?”

Lucius took a deep breath, rubbing his face to clear away his tears. “You’re too good to me.”

“Gods above,” you groaned tiredly. “we can go back and forth on who deserves each other. Let us just go back into the house, have supper, and sleep.”

“I would like that.” He hissed as he went to stand.

Helping him, once he was on his best foot, you said. “You never told me what you did to your leg.”

He looked behind him at the field. “There was a snake and a rock.”

You gave him a look. “And what happened with them?”

“I don’t wish to speak of it.” He said grimly.

In any other instance, you would have laughed. Yet, as his eyes were still heavy from crying, you just nodded. The both of you helped each other into the house, and you sat him down on one of the several cushions in the living area.

“Your arm,” he asked. “how bad is it?”

You shook your head. “Just really sore. I think she might have left a nasty bruise or two somewhere, but I won’t know yet.”

“Put one of the cloths in the pot with water and put it over the fire.” He told. “Take it out after a few minutes, let it rest for another, then put it on your shoulder. It should help.”

“Thank you.” You stood, doing so, saying. “I swore we had bandages somewhere. I’ll make something for you to drink too; I bought some herbs just last week.”

He nodded, not taking his eyes off of you as you worked. If it were any other man, you would have felt unsafe; yet, it was only Lucius.

Little by little that night, both of you helped heal one another.

Half a year passed since that night, and you and Lucius had only grown closer. Perhaps as close as you could be with a man who was not your husband by choice.

Not much on the farm had changed; you two were living comfortably, and happily, almost making all the turmoil from the first year worth it. The both of you decided to make more visits to Atticus and Diana’s home, realizing just how much you both missed having someone to talk to outside of each other; but that did not mean you had to keep things hidden of course.

If anything, you shared everything with each other.

So much so, that when Lucius asked you why you held onto him longer when he embraced you on your birthday, you told him the truth.

“I don’t want every time we touch to be when it is in turmoil.” You explained, growing meeker. “And I…I’ve missed the feeling of it when it has not been forced upon me.”

Lucius stared at you with a look you had never seen from him. He had been gentle with you many a times, but they way his eyes fell into yours…

He took a step closer to you, and when you showed no sign of discomfort, he took your face into his hands. Your eyes shut at the feeling of him, and he pressed his head against yours. Never in your life had someone’s breath upon your skin feel so immaculate.

From there on out, it always seemed like you had to have a hand on each other one way or another.

It started with holding hands whenever walking through the city together. He used to ‘lead’ you through the crowds in the past, but more so with a hand hovering over your back. No, him holding your hand meant he would have to go where you would go if anything were to happen.

Alongside this, he’d reach over and hold it at Atticus and Diana’s house; whether it was during dinner, or simply just talking. The eldest child had said what the rest of the household had been thinking.

“They’re finally acting like they’re married!”

Because even when there were no other eyes besides yours, he would still hold your hand. You wonder if it ever became a way for Lucius to ground himself; because it certainly did for you.

You hugged him more often as well. Those used to be for ‘substantial’ occasions; those being celebrations or heartbreaks. Now, they were incorporated into greetings and goodbyes. Of course, it only took a few weeks before they were than made into simple desires.

He would be cooking dinner, and you would come beside him to embrace him. You would be gathering eggs from the chickens, and he would wait for you to set the basket down before tossing his arms around you.

At night, it was normal for you both to trade spots as one of you would read a story, and the other would have their head in the other’s lap.

This happened on so many occasions, it shouldn’t have come as a surprise for what Lucius proposed next, but it did.

“If you don’t favor the question I’m about to ask you, then you are allowed to never speak to me again.” He said, his feet hanging off the arm of the lecti couch you both bought that year.

“Well,” you scoffed, sitting on the end of it. “I will have to speak to you again because we live together.”

“Would you want to sleep in my room tonight?” Never in your life had you thought that would have been his question. When you didn’t speak right away, he backtracked. “I don’t expect you to. I understand if-.”

“-The nights are growing colder.” You stated, no visible uneasiness. “I’ve noticed it, and I don’t think any number of blankets could warm me.”

He swallowed thickly, and this was perhaps one of the first times you’d ever seen him like this. “Yes…it’s cold.”

You nodded, and another beat of silence fell between you two. Standing up, you tugged at the seams of your dress. “I-I’ll go change.”

“Yes,” he sat up. “I shall as well.”

Disappearing into your room, you tossed your day clothes off then slipped on a nightdress. After pacing around the floor for a few moments, you gathered the courage to go out into the hall and knock on Lucius’ door.

It was opened as if he was standing right behind it.

He wore just a plain, tattered tunic, and said nothing; yet, you caught his eyes run down you before immediately bringing them back to your face. You were not even in his room yet, and already your body grew warmer.

“May I come in?” You asked.

“Yes, of course.” He stepped aside and you entered.

Somehow, you were no longer man and wife; you were two people who had just discovered a strange, yet burning, feeling that you both held for one another. A feeling that you were both afraid to say aloud…because then it would be real.

The only light in his room was from the moon just peeking through the curtain of his one window. Looking around, you saw that it was still just the bare minimum; a bed, a small table beside it with a lamp, and a dresser. The only others things of note were his sword leaning against the wall, and just a few dirty clothes on the floor.

“I-I tried to clean before you came.” He mentioned.

“Is the rest under the bed?” You asked.

He chuckled. “Yes.”

Before you could change your mind, you pulled the covers off one side of the bed and slid under them. Glancing behind at Lucius, you saw him wear a look where you knew he wanted to say something.

“What is it?” You asked.

“That’s usually the side I sleep on but-.”

You rolled over to the other side. “Are you content now?”

He wheezed, moving to his designated side, slipping under the covers. “Very.”

“Good.” You smiled up at him.

His own mouth lowered as you could see him thinking. He then said. “I don’t expect us to do anything.”

You watched as his eyes dropped from you, as if it was too invasive just to merely look. Thinking from only your heart, you scooted closer, resting your hand on his arm. You ran your fingers up and down his muscles, but then guided his arm to wrap around your waist.

“Okay?”

He hummed, pulling you just a little closer. “Yes.”

“And we’ll just lay together?” You whispered. “Nothing else?”

“Nothing else.”

And that’s what you did. The compete truth was that you would caress him only to remind yourself that it was Lucius and not Geta. His arms, his back, his face…he was nothing like him.

After a few more nights, you told him that as you both lay awake, unable to sleep. He had pulled you on top of him that night, saying that you could see his face better in the moonlight. You only giggled, hiding your face in his chest; even that was too much for you.

It was easier to tell each other things in the darkness. You always knew that, but with being in the same bed (you had not gone back to your room for a week), the words flowed out of both your mouths.

“After my father died,” you said one night as you laid on your side facing him. “I would stroke my own hair or even my arms and pretend they were someone else’s. Even when I was with Geta.”

Lucius stared at you, then immediately began to caress your cheek. You shut your eyes, sighing at the feeling.

“I never thought I’d be able to sleep next to another woman again.” He whispered.

“And now?” You looked into his eyes.

He stopped his movements, but did not remove his hand. You watched every part of him. How his chest heaved shallowly, his arms tensing ever so slightly, but his eyes…gods his eyes. They were heavy as they looked at you; a look that made your heart flutter and not shutter.

Swallowing your fear, you sat up and inched closer to him. Your face hovered above his, and your breath heated his skin. His hand continued to trace shapes about your cheek, and shutting your eyes, you placed your lips upon his.

It was the gentlest kiss you ever shared with a man.

You had pulled away, dreading to see how he felt. When your eyes befell his gentle smile, and his other hand came up to cup your face, you kissed him again.

And again, and again, and again.

You climbed upon his lap without pulling your lips away from him, wrapping your arms around his neck. He sat up, his own arm encircling your waist and drawing you impossibly closer.

Lucius parted from you, and as you whined at the loss of his lips, they soon settled upon your cheek, and then your jaw, and then your chin. Your heavy pants turned to soft grunts as he kissed down your neck, his mustache scratching your skin in just the right way.

Your hands settled into his hair the lower he traveled, moving your night gown off your shoulder to kiss your collarbone. You felt yourself becoming intoxicated from him, and only then noticed you had been for a while.

Oh, how you wished you could bottle up his laugh, his strength, his stubbornness, and get drunk every night. His kisses only added fuel to the fire that was your desire for him.

He sunk his teeth into your skin, and your body, once enflamed, ran cold.

“No!” You tore yourself from his lap, nearly falling off the bed.

Lucius said your name, leaning forward on instinct but soon stopped once he saw you crawl away. “I’m sorry.”

You opened your mouth, but nothing came out. All you knew was that you needed to go, so you did. Cradling yourself in your arms, you got up from his bed, rushing out of his room and into yours.

You half expected him to knock on the door, then, when you wouldn’t answer, him yell and curse you before breaking it down. Yet nothing of the sort happened. You heard his own door open, and you saw his shadow on the other side, but he did not touch your door. He left after a moment of waiting.

When his own door shut, did you finally cry.

You told yourself that night, you would wake up far earlier than Lucius would so you simply wouldn’t have to see him.

When you awoke, you did the exact opposite. You laid in your bed, trying to return to sleep, only to be forced to lie in the dark. The sun rose into your room, and you heard Lucius’ door open. Still, you did not get up.

It was quite comedic, actually. With your door still shut, he knew you were still home. How he tried his best to keep quiet for you, yet his footsteps had always been heavy, the front door had always creaked, and you could always hear him cursing under his breath every time.

When you knew he had left the house, that was when you stood from your bed, slipping on your sandals. You didn’t bother changing out of your nightdress, leaving your room, and then the house.

Lucius was amongst the chickens when he saw you. He didn’t bother hiding the surprise upon his face at the sight of you. You walked to him until there was little space between you.

“Last night-.”

You took his hand from his side, placing it upon your face. He rubbed your cheek with his thumb as if it was natural. Kissing the palm of his hand, you trailed it down to your clothed breast. He breathed your name with hesitance, but you shushed him. You held his hand there, not taking your eyes off him.

“I will show you, one day.” You told him. “I will show you the mark Geta had made. The one where I myself can scarcely see it, yet I know that it haunts me. But now…” You brought your other hand up to his face, tracing your thumb over his lip. “I just want you to understand.”

He kissed the pad of your thumb, nodding. You embraced him, and he held you with both gentleness and ferocity. The rest of the day carried on as normal, yet you aided him with the chores on the farm.

You went to bed with him that night, but it was the first time he did not entrap you in his arms. You knew he was still afraid of hurting you, but you would be a liar if you said you weren’t thankful for the space.

Still, he would feel your touch every day; whether it was something as small as brushing his hand, or as substantial as kissing his cheek.

As the both of you lay awake one night, you played with the sleeve of his tunic.

“Could I lie on top of you?” You asked.

Lucius looked over at you, nodding. “You never need to ask.”

“I want to.” You climbed on top of him, straddling his lap. “I never want to force you to do anything.”

His eyes fell to your hips before returning them to your face. “I’ll tell you if I wish to not do something. I hope you know you can as well.”

“I do. Would you like to touch me?”

“Where do you want me to touch you?”

You moved his hands to your hips, which he held firmly, yet not enough to hurt you. You leaned down so your lips touched his.

“No teeth.” You said.

“No teeth.” He repeated.

Lucius sighed into your mouth as you kissed. Despite how you were on top of him, the kiss was sweet, shy even. When you pulled away, you trailed your lips from his cheek to his ear.

“Do you dream about me?” You rasped.

He said nothing, and you continued to kiss every part of his face besides his lips.

“It’s okay.” You kissed his Adam’s Apple. “I want you too.”

“Yes.” His breath hitched.

“What was I doing in your favorite one?” You kissed his pulse point.

“You,” he breathed sharply through his nose. “you’re touching yourself.”

“Would that please you?” You sat up in somewhat surprise, resting your hands on his chest. “To watch me do so?”

He shook his head. “I want to do what pleases you.”

It felt foreign to hear someone say they want you to feel good. Instead of cowering from it, you faced it head on. You kneeled for a moment, hiking your gown up to your hips before sitting back on your ankles,  exposing yourself to him. Lucius’ jaw clenched at the sight of your naked center, and he drew his hands away from your hips, falling them into fists upon the mattress.

“I wish to watch you as you watch me.”

Without looking away from you, he drew his hand down to his cock, pulling it out from under his tunic. Your eyes grew just a hint. There was no doubt upon him being more well-endowed than others, but it was still different from how you imagined.

Shutting your eyes, you trailed your fingers over your cunt, your thumb playing with your clit. The sounds of Lucius’ smothered grunts, and the skin of his cock on his fingers only added to your pleasure. Digging deeper and moving faster, you felt a coil within your stomach tighten when you opened your eyes and saw as Lucius’ gaze bore into yours.

Light moans escaped your lips as your hips moved with a mind of their own, watching the man beneath you take pleasure from his own hand. It was him chanting your name like a prayer that sent you over the edge. With your eyes shut, the coil within you snapped, and pleasure filled your veins.

Not long after, you felt a warmth coat your nightdress. Opening your eyes, you looked down and saw the white-hot residue of Lucius’ release. Your gaze drew to his cock, still clutched in his hand, yet red with droplets of white running over his knuckles.

You don’t know what possessed you to, but you lowered your mouth down to clean him with your tongue.

“Gods be good!” He huffed, laughing your name.

“What?” You wiped your mouth.

 “You’re going to be the death of me.”

Grinning like the devil, you slid off the bed, walking towards the door. “I hope it’s a pleasant one then.”

He sat up. “Where are you going?”

“To change. You dirtied me as well.” You teased.

“Take one of my tunics from the dresser.”

It almost made you laugh that he didn’t want you to leave for even a second. You opened the top drawer, grabbing the longest tunic you could find before facing him. “Close your eyes.”

He laid on his side, putting a pillow over his head. Many would find it strange how the both of you would see the most intimate parts of yourself while doing one of the most intimate acts together, yet you didn’t want him to see you naked.

But Lucius never thought of it as strange. He knew what you had been through, and never once judged you.

When you were clothed, you slid into bed, wrapping your arms around his body and pressing a quick kiss to the back of his neck.

“You’re a good man, Lucius Verus Aurelius.” You whispered. “I will tell you that until the day you die, or when you finally believe me.”

He squeezed your hand, relaxing into your touch. You never slept so peacefully until that night.

You always had to see him whenever he would touch you so intimately. There would be nights where there was only a single candle in the room either while he caressed the swell of our breasts, or the inside of your thigh as you sat on his lap.

His fingers were too much for you at first, but he never ridiculed you. When you whimpered at the feeling, he retracted them, kissing your eyes. You asked him again to try, and he whispered praises into your hair as the pain from a dry spell soon turned into pleasure.

It was usually at night did these moments of exploration occurred. In the day, the most you would ever do was kiss. That is, until the first time you cut his hair since the discovery of feelings.

“I don’t want to get hair on your floor.” Lucius said as he sat on the floor, leaning his back against the foot of your bed. It was hotter than sin that day. He wore nothing but a loincloth, but that barely did anything to help him from the heat. You wore essentially a thin shift that would usually be under your dress; yet again, because of the heat, that was all you wore.

You sat on the bed, legs draped over his shoulders as you cut his hair. “It’s your floor too. You built the house.”

“You know what I mean.”

“I haven’t slept here for a while now. Besides, I will clean up.”

“I had no idea you favored doing domestic work now.” He turned and pressed a kiss to your knee.

You slapped the back of his head. “Don’t move! I’ll give you a bald spot if you do so again.”

“Yes, my mistress of the house.” He joked.

“You’re horrible.”

“You just told me I was a good man not so long ago.”

“And I can just as easily revoke that title.”

He stayed silent the rest of the time, but not from any underlining anger. Simply from his at ease posture, you knew he was smiling.

He smiled more those days.

When you were finished, you tossed your scissors aside, but Lucius’ hands settled upon your thighs, not allowing you to get up. You scoffed.

“What is it?”

He turned to face you, kneeling up to meet you. “I wish to try something, but only if you wish it as well.”

You rose your brow, but smiled, kissing his nose. “It will be difficult if I do not know what it is.”

Without drawing his eyes away from yours, he slid his hands up your thighs, bringing the bottom of your shift with it. It seemed normal at first, but once he lowered his mouth, your chest tightened.

“What are you doing?” You asked.

“I want to kiss you there.” His breath caressed your cunt and you mewled at the feeling. “I think you’ll enjoy it, but we don’t have to.”

Your heart changed from beating in fear, to then in anticipation. You loved how he kissed your lips, and every inch of your skin that was not covered, what would it feel like to have his lips there?

Kissing the top of his head, you laid on your elbows, nodding.

“Let me hear you say it.” He nosed the inside of your thigh.

“Yes.” You sighed. “Please.”

He lowered his mouth back down, pressing the lightest of kissed onto your center. You groaned through shut lips, only for them to part open as the hairs of his mustache tickled you whilst he began to lap at your wetness.

Tossing your head back, you sat up, running your hands through his hair, unconsciously rolling your hips to meet his mouth. His groan reverberated through your body, only adding to the pleasure you were feeling.

“Lucius, Lucius,” you babbled his name until it didn’t sound like a word.

His nose bumped against your aching clit the same time his tongue penetrated your cunt. You yelped as that familiar, tightening feeling swept over you. His half-lidded eyes would stare up at you every once in a while, as he would continue to drink from you as if he had been stranded in the desert. Just as you were on the brink of release, you drew him away from you.

“What-what is it?” He huffed. “What’s wrong?”

You shook your head, pressing your lips to his before scooting further up the bed. With one last breath, you pulled your shift over your head, revealing your bare body to him. His gaze ran over your figure unashamedly.

“Come here.” You beckoned.

He crawled onto the bed and over your body, yet still looked at your face. You took his hand and laid it over your breast. His body ran cold at what was on the side of it. A bite mark.

“He branded me all those years ago.” You confessed. “And it has not left since.”

Geta…

You ran your hand up his chest. “I love you, and I trust you with every part of my body. I need you to know that.”

“I love you.” He echoed, pressing the tenderest of kisses to the mark and you gasped lightly. “I have for so long now; I…I need you.”

“Then have me.”

He sat back on his knees, unwrapping his loin cloth and tossing it to the floor. Precum leaked from his sweltering cock as it stood upright like a pillar. You crawled over, kissing every inch of his face and climbing into his lap. He drew his arms around your waist, his finger tracing circles into the small of your back.

“I don’t know how long I will last.” He puffed heavily. “It’s been so long.”

“I just want you inside of me.” You kissed his jaw, taking his cock into your hand and sinking down onto it. It had been a while for you too, and while you were soaked, it was not enough to completely subside the tightness. “Just…wait.”

“I could die happy if all you wanted was for me to remain still as you’re above me.” He said into your ear.

You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, sinking your nails into his skin because that was the only way to remind you that he was still there. The further you sunk down on him, the easier and more pleasureful you felt.

“I’m going to move now.” You said into his shoulder, and you did.

Slowly, at first you relished in the quiet slapping of skin and the breath moans leaving both you and Lucius’ lips. He trailed a syrupy line of kisses down your throat until he bowed his head to place them upon your chest.

“Your name,” Lucius said into your skin. “tell me your name.”

You gave him a look as you rolled your hips into his, yet sighed your name.

“Again.” He breathed, latching his lips around the tip of your breast.

You did.

“Again.” He kissed the hollow of your throat.

You leaned into his touch, saying your name a third time.

He repeated your given name, than following it with ‘Aurelias’. Your movements stilled, yet he did not care.

“You are the most cunning woman I have met, and you are my wife.” He stated, never looking away from you. Tears sprang to your eyes when you saw the same for him, and you gave him a messy kiss before resuming faster this time.

After months of being called a name that did not belong to you, especially whenever in the bedroom, Lucius was doing everything to remind you that you were yourself again as you felt pleasure.

It felt as if, after two years, ‘Julia’ was finally gone.

You chanted his name as if it was your favorite prayer, burying your hands in his hair and kissing his lips.

“Lucius, Lucius, Lucius…”

Because, just like you, how long had it been since his true name was uttered whilst in the throes of pleasure?

He moaned into your mouth, holding onto you tighter. You squealed when he rose up onto his knees, latching your legs around his waist and only crying out sharply when your throbbing clit ran across his pubic hair.

“Come on, come on,” he urged into your ear. “I know you can give it to me.”

“Lu-Lu-!” You moaned, running your nails over the thick field of muscles that was his back.

He said your name over and over again, until it was one word that was the end of you.

“Please.”

You came with your vision blinded from the state of euphoria you had reached. Lucius still held you above him even as his legs began to quake, bouncing you on his cock. You felt as though you were suspended in air when his groans stammered, and you felt strings of his cum paint the walls of your cunt.

Slowly, he lowered the two of you onto the mattress, laying you on your back like you were the most precious treasure in the world. You kept your legs around his waist, breathing with him with your chests glued together from your sweat.

“Lucius-.” You began, trying to shift under him.

“-Just,” he grunted. “just another moment. Please.”

How could you deny him? Every kiss he gave was loving as he laid upon you. His cock had grown soft, and even you were aware that you could’ve fallen asleep if you weren’t careful.

When he pulled away from you, you let out an involuntary whine.

“I thought you wanted me to get off you?” He kissed your stomach when he stood up.

You shoved him playfully. “Just clean me up and come back.”

“So controlling.”

Still, he did what you asked, bringing a soaked washcloth from the bathroom and cleaning you. You groaned out of both the cold water hitting your hot skin, and the heat from the air itself.

“We should’ve waited until night.” You whined.

“Why?”

“I’m suffocating from the air outside!”

Lucius hummed, tossing the washcloth aside and looming over you. “Then that forces us to wear nothing today, so that we might cool down.”

You nodded. “Perhaps you aren’t as feeble minded as I thought.”

He settled behind you, tossing an arm over your waist and pulling your back to his chest. Even though his cock pressed against you, the two of you were completely exhausted from the heat of the day’s work, and the heat of what took place only moments before.

The only sound was that of the cicadas singing in the summertime. Sometimes, a breeze or two of wind would bounce the curtain off the window, but for the most part, just the even breathing you shared with Lucius was all you could hear.

Lucius’ mustache rubbed your skin when he placed a kiss to your neck. “What’s going on inside of your mind right now?”

You grinned. “A proper wife would say that I was thinking of you.”

“But that’s not what it is.”

“It’s something that has nothing to do with anything of note.”

He squeezed you. “Spit it out, woman.”

Sighing, you felt a sense of dread in your heart; both for your thoughts, and also how your husband would react. So, you tried your best to explain it.

“Do you even wonder how you will be remembered?” You began. “Spoken from mouths? Written in books? Painted on walls? They’ll remember Lucius, the Lost Son, the Last Gladiator…What will they remember of me, if anything? Rome’s Cleopatra? Her Delight? A whore to the twin emperors? I like to fantasize that they will name me the first woman who sat upon the emperor’s throne, even if it was as the last of its consul. Yet, even if they name me…I will be Julia. The name of a slave, the name I only accepted when he would press me into the bed so roughly. I only survived because I would need to tell myself that he was doing all of it to Julia, not to me.”

It felt quieter in that room, even though the sounds outside did not cease. Lucius gently turned your body towards him, and he stroked your face with the back of his hand.

“You’re crying,” he uttered your name, frowning.

You wiped your eyes, wanting to hide from him. Yet, he did not allow it, pulling your hands away from you and wrapping them around his shoulders.

“Would you wish I remain silent, or share with you what is in my head?” He asked.

“Talk to me.” You answered.

“I never cared of what history would see of me.” He stated. “Even as a boy. I know that we are different in most aspects of life, but I believe it serves no one to wonder away how we will be viewed long after we are dead. I do not care if or what a stranger thinks of me in a lifetime later. I care how Atticus and Diana see me. I care what their children think. Above all, I care of what you see me to be.”

You pressed your head against his. “You’re pigheaded and quite foolish sometimes.”

“And it matters you say that.” He pulled you closer. “Because that is what you will tell others when I pass on.”

“You know I don’t think that is all you are.” You remined him.

“I do.” He nodded. “I will know you for your wit, and your protective nature, and your kindness.”

“I never truly thought of myself as kind.” You gave a pained smile.

“That is how I see you.” He kissed your brow. “And what I will say with my last dying breath.”

You wondered how such a man as himself could exist at the same time you did. A man who hated you prior to everything yet laid with you in bed. A man who treated you with a tenderness you never thought possible.

A man who could be the last person on earth with you, and you would only feel at peace.

You did not need to say anything to him. Simply by the innocent smile that spread across your lips, did he know. You fell into the most comfortable of silences together as you laid naked in the summer heat.

The both of you were lost to time as we all shall be one day.

Perhaps you lived on that farm for the rest of your days, or perhaps you moved to a different land.

Perhaps you had ten children, perhaps you had only one, or perhaps you had none and were content with each other’s company.

Perhaps you died before him, perhaps he died before you, or perhaps you both passed onto the Elysian fields together.

All that truly matters, at the end of all things, is the life the two of you led together, and what you and loved ones remembered the most of it.

[fandom-hyperfixation]

𝗗 𝗥 𝗘 𝗔 𝗠 𝗜 𝗡 𝗚

Summary: You had a dream but unfortunately there was a misunderstanding.

Characters: Valtor x Reader (she/her) / Bloom

Words: 1091

Warnings: Implied smut/Nsfw, some spice but nothing detailed. Cuddling with a friend. Secret relationship. Enemy to lovers. Kind of betrayal. (Please let me know if I should add anything)

A/n: Hey Ho. Well, this is only the second fandom for which I post fanfiction and I haven’t written for a while. And my native language is not English, so please forgive me for any mistakes and it was more of a spontaneous idea I had. Please just don’t expect a Jane Austen novel. (I'm not nervous, you are xD) Okay, I’ll stop talking now and just hope that at least one person will kind of enjoy this here. Have a great day/evening/night.

"Y/N! Hey, Y/N, wake up. You’re having a nightmare." The voice of bloom breaks through the wonderful dream you just had.

"Y/N, come on, please, you have to wake up, it’s all right, I’m here, it’s just a bad dream."

Confused, you slowely open your eyes but the second after you closed them again, blinded by the bright light of the lid lamp.

"Ugh," escapes your mouth while you press your face into the pillow.

"Y/N, finally! Everything is fine." Bloom’s deliberate calming words only add to your confusion. More carefully this time you turn your head to look at her.

The brightness lets small tears shimmer in your eyes, quickly you try to blink them away.

"What’s the matter?" you ask without really opening your mouth but Bloom understood you anyway.

She carefully puts a hand on your cheek, stroking a tear from your skin with her thumb. "Hey, don’t cry. Everything's okay, it was just a nightmare, don’t worry, Valtor’s not here."

Suddenly your eyes widen, "What? Valtor?" Your voice sounds nervous as you're pushing yourself up to sit, capturing her gaze with your own.

"Hey, I told you everything was okay. It was just a bad dream. You called Valtor’s name in your sleep, I can understand it, I often dream about him. But we’re with you, we protect each other, don’t worry."

The Guardian of the Dragon Flame moved closer to hug you. Still overwhelmed you let it happen, placing your head on her shoulder.

You can’t find the right words to get yourself out of this uncomfortable situation. And the only option you have is to play along and just agree.

You close your eyes, still not accustomed to the brightness and two more small tears roll over your cheeks, your chin and finally land on Bloom’s arm.

Your friend sighs, "Back a little, I can sleep next to you, maybe we’ll both dream better."

In your head you hear the laughing of the lord of evil. He's laughing at you for this situation. Gloatingly, teasingly.

You nod indecisively but at the same time shake your head to banish the magician from your thoughts, which rather ends in a strange circular movement.

The fairy lets you go and crawls behind you on the bed, patting on the mattress next to her and slowly you lie down.

With a snap, the light goes out. Bloom approaches you, wraps an arm around you before snuggling up to you.

You grab her hand to cross your fingers with hers.

"Try to sleep a bit more, I’m here now," she whispered.

Your heart is racing incessantly as you can do nothing but nod again, it has absolutely taken your breath away.

For the next few minutes it is quiet, you do not dare to move. Not until you are aware of the regular breath of the fairy. She fell asleep.

You sigh and are sure that your cheek must be red like a tomato from shame.

Your mind worked at full speed to realize and process the things that have just happened. You must summon all self-control to avoid giggling. At the same time, however, you feel your guilty conscience eating through your body, burying cell by cell.

Your friends were always there for you, they helped you every second without asking questions, they trusted you blindly, just like you trusted them. They made every effort to protect and support you.

You all had nightmares about all the things you had to go through and survive. But since Valtor came into your lives, everything has gotten worse. Hardly anyone can sleep for a whole night. Hardly anyone can dream of anything beautiful.

Hardly anyone can feel something like true joy.

But while all your friends were plagued with nightmares and are not allowed to have a careless second because of the dark wizard, he is the reason that you can sleep well. That you still feel something like satisfaction or happiness and can forget all that terrible things for a moment.

It was pure irony.

While they all suffered because of the wizard, every night you dream of his hands gliding over your entire body when you sneaked out of Alfea to meet him in the cloud tower again. How his lips invade every spot of your body, leading you into another dimension. How his rough voice sounds musically in your ears when he groans your name or tells you how perfect you are for him. How his hot breath flits over your skin when you lie in front of him on the desk. How he makes you feel as good as no other has done before.

What was your dream, was their nightmare.

What became your joy, became their sadness.

What deprived them of all their powers was what made you feel more alive than ever.

Valtor was their curse, but he was your blessing.

The more you thought about it, the more your mind became weary. And as soon as your eyes closed, you were back at the sport you were before Bloom woke you up.

In a storeroom in the cloud tower, without clothes, while the magician knelt in front of you, throwing your head back in pleasure.

***

In the cloud tower, Valtor laughed deeply as he turned his gaze away from the sphere through which he had observed you and your friend.

He could hardly wait to make you blush with the events of today and evoke your shy side the next time you would come to him, your enemy, to wind under him in passion.

He had taken off his coat and pulled the sleeves of his shirt up to his elbows. Sitting in the big desk chair he turned in a semicircle. He looked through the large windows of Miss Griffin’s office into the dark night. Then he leaned back, closing his eyes as well before mentally diving into the same memories you are exploring.

This little fairy had fallen for him, just like he had fallen for her.

Thanks for reading. 💚

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Lute sees Vaggie's wings have grown back and tries take them again. She grabs them to pull them off, but her hands burn right through her gloves. Sp, Lute tries to cut them off with her sword, but the blade shatters the second it hits the feathers. That's the power of love, bitch!

this could be either so dramatic or so fucking funny so i'd love to imagine it being Both

(fuck this turned out looooooong XD)

Emily: "Good news!”

Charlie: "YAY!"

Vaggie: "How good can it be, if we had to come all the way to stupid heaven to hear it?

Charlie: "Vaggie, c'mon- We could REALLY use some good news!"

Emily: "Then you'll love this. I looked into it and, Vaggie, you being abandoned in hell was wrong, not to mention Adam never cleared it with anyone else anyway- so you can come back here to heaven! Isn't that great!"

Charlie: "Oh... thanks Emily, that's..."

Vaggie: "Not happening."

Charlie: "Maybe she could have some time to think about-"

Lute: "No.”

Vaggie: "No."

Lute: “An angel's place is in heaven. Hell is a prison for sinners, demons, and the fallen who reject the very order of creation. If you choose to stay down there, then what does that make you?"

Vaggie: "It's making me fucking happy, for one thing."

Charlie: (whispers) "... a happy day in hell?"

Vaggie: (whispering back) "Every single one."

Charlie: (BEAMS)

Lute: "Then you've made your choice. You're not an angel. You’re not one of us. You're a traitor."

Vaggie: "And it's been better company than I had up here."

Lute: "Think so?” (grins) “Sera, respectfully, hell is rebelling-"

Charlie: "We were PROTECTING ourselves!"

Lute: "-they killed Adam and one of their people is up here acting like he doesn’t still sympathize with murderers and filthy sinners. We can’t risk anyone else getting past heaven’s gates.”

Vaggie: “Like I’d ever want to!”

Lute: “So you wouldn’t lead the charge if your demon bitch said the word and pointed at us?”

Emily: “Lute!”

Charlie: “Vaggie wouldn’t-”

Vaggie: “Charlie never would! That’s what makes her different from assholes like YOU.”

Lute: “You think everyone’s as weak as you are, don’t you? She’s a hellborn princess. She just called violently resisting a sanctioned extermination ‘self defense.’”

Charlie: “YOU WERE KILLING PEOPLE!”

Lute: “Sinners are not people. They had their chance and burned it. And they’re not the only ones.”

Emily: “But they can be redeemed! We’ve seen it happen!”

Lute: “Once.”

Emily: “It doesn’t matter that it was only ‘once’- it matters that it happened and we still don’t understand why. We have a duty to the people of heaven, but if sinners can find their way here then that duty includes them too! And the exterminations were just wrong from the start!”

Lute: “Careful Emily, you’re starting to sound like a traitor too.”

Emily: “If the other choice is sounding like YOU, then-”

Sera: “Enough! Both of you! Emily is not the one on trial here, Lute.”

Lute: “Then listen to the ones that ARE! Sera, listen to them, listen to HER- she’s made her choice. She’s fallen even more than Lucifer Morningstar did-”

Charlie: “Don’t you DARE bring my dad into this!”

Lute: “-and there should be a PRICE for that. We need to take precautions.”

Emily: “Precautions? What does that even mean? She’s locked in hell with everyone else, like Lucifer is, what more can you even do to her?”

Lute: “Same thing I did before. Only this time.” (draws sword) “I know how to make it stick.”

Charlie: “What?”

Vaggie: “….you… bitch.”

Lute: "Traitor's don't need an angel's wings, do they? Traitors don't deserve them."

Charlie: "Well she has them again now anyway so CLEARLY having angel wings doesn’t mean what you think it does!”

Lute: “It means I didn’t use heavenly steel the first time.”

Emily: “You-”

Charlie: “Don’t. Come any closer.”

Emily: “Lute stop! Sera stop her! This isn’t helping anyone!”                        

Sera: “I have only one question.”

Lute: “Ask and get it over with, we all know what the answer is already.”

Sera: “Hush.”

Sera: “Vaggie. Do you reject our offer of a pardon, and the orders of and service to heaven, in favor of remaining hell?”

Vaggie: “…I do.”

Sera: "Understanding that no other angel has ever done so before?”

Vaggie: “They would’ve, if they’d met Charlie.”

Sera: “Then you are guilty of treason.”

Vaggie: “…”

Sera: “Lute. Make it quick.”

Lute: (grinning) “As the seraphim commands.”

Emily: “Wait-”

Charlie: “BACK. OFF.”

Sera: “You are not in hell, miss Morningstar, this is not your domain and you have no power to draw on here. I will honor our former treaty not to spill hell’s royal blood but do NOT test my patience with it. Emily, restrain her.”

Charlie: “NO-”

Emily: “Sera you can’t! This is-!”

Sera: “Fine. Exorcists, hold the hell princess. And Emily, if you cannot obey a command or bear witness to my rulings then leave before I remove you myself.”

Emily: “I… you…”

Lute: “Kneel. Traitor.”

Charlie: “TOUCH HER AND I’LL MOTHERFUCKING KILL YOU”

Vaggie: “Charlie don’t struggle don’t fight them- get those fucking spears out of her face- Emily!”

Emily: “…what…?”

Lute: “I said. KNEEL.”

Charlie: “VAGGIE!”

Vaggie: “Please! Don’t let- AGH- don’t let them hurt her!”

Emily: “I won’t… I.” (grabs Charlie and holds on tight) “I- I have her. Spears down. I, have her restrained.”

Charlie: "FUCK YOU LET GO! LET GO-"

Sera: (relieved) “Thank you.”

Lute: "Let's make you look the part first shall we? Trim this hair out of the way?"

Vaggie: "You're pathetic."

Lute: "I'm not the one chained up and crying on my knees."

Charlie: "PLEASE I can make a deal I can make a new agreement with heaven- Whatever you want! What do you WANT from us!?"

Lute: "I want her to hold still. If she flinches, I might nick that left over eye of hers."

Vaggie: "Fuck. You- Ah!"

Lute: "Whoops. Hope that won't scar."

Sera: "Lute I said to make it quick-"

Lute: "We want to it be clean too don't we. I'm just cut cutting off some loose ends- wouldn't want to miss her wings and MANGLE this, would I."

Emily: “Charlie-”

Charlie: “YOU!”

Lute: "There. Now you look just as pathetic as you did three years ago."

Emily: “Charlie just close your eyes, she’ll be okay-”

Lute: “No she won’t.”

Charlie: “VAGGIE-”

(Slash)

(THUNDR CRACK)

(shatter)

Lute: “AARGH!”

Sera: “…….” (horrified)

Lute: “My hand! My sword-” (rounds on Charlie) “Demon BITCH! WHAT DID YOU DO!?”

Charlie: “Vaggie? Are you..?”

Vaggie: “….fine. I’m. I don’t think it’ll even bruise?”

Emily: (awed) “Your wings broke her sword. They shattered heavenly steel-”

Lute: “DEMON MAGIC!”

Emily: “A miracle.” (releases Charlie)

Charlie: "Vaggie-" (snaps the chains off vaggie and pulls her close)

Sera: “Traitor. How did you regain those wings.”

Vaggie: (huddled in Charlie’s fierce hug) “C- someone told me I had to fight with love, and I thought about Charlie, and they just…”

Lute: “SEE!? They were made in HELL they’re as profane as the love that spawned them-”

Emily: “Then they’re not under heaven’s jurisdiction to take away, are they? They belong to Vaggie. Not to us.”

Lute: “Belong to- she doesn’t DESERVE-”

Emily: “And you don’t deserve to cut them off her apparently.”

Lute: “I-”

Sera: “Lute. QUIET.”

Lute: (seething and bleeding from sword shrapnel) “…”

Sera: “You, fallen. If I bent my power on you, I could very likely burn those wings from existence.”

Charlie: “If you want to start a war with hell that’s a VERY good way of doing it. Sera.”

Sera: "...."

Sera: “…you will no longer be allowed past the gates of heaven. You are here on and forever more bound to the regions of hell, regardless of your wings-”

Vaggie: “Fine by f-fucking me.”

Sera: “-and in time you will lose all your divinity. You will bleed a demon’s blood one day.”

Vaggie: “Good.”

Lute: “If you live that long.”

Charlie: (Unholy SNARL)

Emily: (getting between them) “Can I send them home now? Or are we going to do something else to shame all of heaven in front of our guests?”

Vaggie: (sighing) “I’d love to be home right now…”

Charlie: “We’ll be there in a second.” (hugs her tighter) “I promise.” (kiss her hair) “Want to stretch your wings?”

Vaggie: “…yeah.”

Sera: “No, Emily. I will banish them.”

Charlie: “Okay.” (suddenly glaring) “Ha ha thank you Sera but don’t bother. It’s straight down from here and the prison wards don’t stop anyone from coming IN do they?”

Emily: “Are you sure your wings are okay for flying with, Vaggie?”

Vaggie: “That’s what I wanna find out.”

Charlie: “We’ll be fine. And we won’t be coming back.”

Emily: “I’m sorry.”

Lute: “Like you’d have the chance.”

Sera: “Go. Heaven is no place for either of you.”

Charlie: “Wow really I hadn’t noticed! I mean no one in HELL ever tried mutilating my girlfriend in front of me, but whatever I guess!” (muttering) “Sadistic homophobic pricks.”

Vaggie: “Told you.”

Charlie: “You did. You did tell me. I’m sorry I didn’t-”

Vaggie: “I love that you didn’t listen.”

Charlie: “…okay.” (deep breath) “Okay.”

Vaggie: “Besides, there’s Sir Pentious up here now.”

Charlie: “True. They don’t deserve him.”

Vaggie: “And Emily.”

Charlie: “Hm.” (burns a hole in the clouds beneath them) “Ready to fuck off together for all eternity?”

Vaggie: (weak chuckle) “Yeah, sweetie. Let’s go home.”

- they go home-

Sera: “Emily.”

Emily: "..."

Sera: “I hope you will think hard on what you’ve done and very nearly did today. Please.” (touches Emily’s shoulder) “For your own sake. Please.” (leaves)

Emily: “…she’s never going to forgive me, is she.”

Lute: “Oh shut UP. Sera will forgive you for ANYTHING.”

Emily: “I meant Charlie.”

Lute: (disgusted noise) (throws her broken sword down after them) (stalks off)

Emily: (sits down on the edge of the clouds) (finds one of Vaggie’s loose feathers floating by) (picks it up and twirls it sadly as she stares down at the distant warm glow of hell)

-down in hell-

Angel Dust: "Unholy fuck, Vaggie Tales, what the hell happened to your hair?"

Charlie: "Lute."

Vaggie: "Heaven."

Angel Dust: "Huh. Shit that's a bad enough cut to make a guy rethink the whole redeemin' himself stuff to get up there, y'know?"

Charlie: "I know. Trust me Angel Dust- NOW, I know."

[bluepopofanarts]

I don't give clear spoilers from the S2 but read the next with precautions (I imply things but I prefer giving the warning. I hate spoilers so I try to avoid it to others even if with the S2 my brain was impatient XD).

------

Little AU (another after the swap comic XD) where they have met in childhood. They both share the same origin story but one day they just met randomly when Viktor played with his boat (probably just after meeting Singed because I drew an healthy Rio).

The timeline changed her direction to a long-time friendship where they shared every steps of their life. I drew Rio with them but infortunately she had the same fate (I swear I keep the main scenario because I didn't find how to save her. If I find something I'd change the description ! XD Maybe bringing her back with some Hextech magic, even if that implies she is white/gold if you know what I mean lol).

They did their studies together and created te Hexgems. The main difference : they've never created the unstable ones that destroyed the appartment (because Viktor was already here "to crank it") but they also never dared to talk about them. So when the group stole them they both ended up in trial for creating the Hexgems. But Mel saved them both and their part of the story is the same (except the fact that Viktor being put under the spotlight gave him a Councilor place too. He enjoyed that like an introvert in front of a full theatre xD).

For the Zaunist side, and because the Hexgems are stable, they didn't create the deadly huge explosion. Milo finished to free Vander, Claggor created the wall hole and everybody escaped. Even Powder who were already outside, she didn't fly with the explosion like in the original.

BUT

Silco took the Hexgems and started to create weapon with them + the Shimmer.

So yes, Jayce and Viktor are in trouble because they have to create the Hexgates and trying to keep peace. Luckily Victor is the one trying to find peace with Silco. And Vander helped a lot with a certain heartbreaking piece of paper (I'm still crying all the water I drunk in a week everytime I read it ! And !spoiler for the artbook! having the artbook with that letter in it is not helping ! XD)

And because I really love (in a painful, tearful, brain-eating, obsessive, and highly passionate way) what happened to my precious Vitya in the next season, I guess they found peace and gave independance to Zaun but a certain someone set the Council room in fire to start again the hatred (probably a dangerous woman in red who already prouved that she can plot horrible plans !). So Silco is alive but we still have the S2 (yes even the absolute horrific end of the episode 6. Seriously, even after knowing what/why/all the things and reasons, fuck you still, Jayce).

So this is how I fixed the utopic timeline of the episode 7 (not gonna lie guys but I was absolutly not a fan of this moment when I saw it for the first time. For me Arcane was "impossible to give me joy" "this is probably some kind of Arcane bad trip and they are in reality in some kind of deadly nightmare" "everything is fake", I was super suspicious so I did'nt enjoy it like I should have do xD But now I'm fine with that even if a lot of things are illogic, but it's still beautiful to enjoyer peace and love).

Anyway, more Jayvik incoming because they are the biggest brainroat I've ever had in my damn life. Viktor really set my mind in pieces and I don't recover from it. But I forgive him because it's Viktor <3

Merry Christmas even if it's the end of the day ! (almost 10pm here xD)

[some-thrilling-heroics]

the purpose of this post is for me to figure some stuff out so i'm open to feedback and discussion

disclaimer: i love Halsin, he's my precious bear man

but damn i am pissed

i started to really dig into the epilogue, specifically that last morning after the brain goodbye scene in the room at the inn where he says he has nine wagons of kids and he will aid the people in Thaniel's realm

sadly i can't find any footage of what he says when Tav goes "oh a community built with your own hands, i'd love to see that" (or something to that extent) bc i think that is the one option that nullifies the goodbye and i think? he just asks if Tav is sure and then happy end bells

but even so

the interaction practically starts with "why does this sound like you're saying goodbye?" - oh that's because he is. at least for now. but Tav can visit, he's very eager for them to visit - and then narrator is like a tenday later Tav went to the commune and then the party invite stuff, not important

and I'm like....

it just hit me how - yes, Halsin has abandonment issues and he wants to help those orphans and all the homeless refugees and all the great stuff but like…… HOW DARE YOU DECIDE FOR ME THAT I DON'T WANNA GO WITH YOU????

watching that on a loop three times seriously hit me hard and i don't like it (as in me, personally, not in the sense that it's bad writing or it makes no sense for him to do that, maybe it does - if somebody can help me wrap my head around that, I would be super grateful bc atm I'm stuck in my own emotional reaction to Halsin making decisions for me)

in my head Tav's response to that should be: fuck you, i don't want to visit - fuck that! i wanna go with you and move in with you bc I love you but i guess you don't really want that huh? oh you do? then I guess we are at an impasse, huh?

bottom line is - what do I want to do with it in my fic?

i could ignore it bc i kinda wanna, i don't want them fighting like that

on the other hand it would be great to have this devolve into a conflict, bc i already sprinkled a few tiny bits of them saying not the best things but then the other kinda steps past it or around it and they are fine, but it would add some realism for them to have a serious disagreement about their (joint) future and about communicating and making decisions and could be something to be revisited as a work in progress for them to grow into as their relationship keeps going

i don't mind exploring difficult shit in my fics, i already decided to commit and give Tav my trauma and it was very cathartic just drafting that bit, and this turning into a conflict could play into that I suppose, could work really well

I guess my problem is the dissonance between Halsin doing that unintentionally bc of his own issues and him generally being very considerate and respectful of others, especially Tav imo, he was perfectly happy to follow their decisions as a leader but now I guess they are no longer the leader and this is his thing, his commune, his new purpose in life and ofc he could never be selfishly happy when he could be doing good things for strangers but like.... i can't grasp that step how from that he goes into "therefore I shall not offer this as a choice for them but instead make that a foregone conclusion that this is goodbye, at least for now" - is it bc asking means risk of rejection and he'd rather reject himself to spare them both the interaction?

sorry this got rambly XD but anyway - thoughts?

[matan4il]

911 ep 705 first watch reactions

Of course 911 would "punish" the "You are the boss of you!" guy with an alien hand that attacks him, and does what it wants. Pooor Buck and Eddie paying the price for that...

Okay, love the storyline with Hen and Karen possibly eventually adopting an older girl. Too many shows just find easy, unrealistic ways to give their same sex couples kids, and I am really glad that 911 shows the reality of it, and that it is a more complex struggle for many, that it's an act of continuously choosing to be parents. That's actually an amazing, difficult thing, and it should be faithfully depicted and respected, for all of its heartache, and the little moments of triumph.

Buck and Tommy on a date, and Eddie comes along with Marisol? Love how Buck's bisexual awakening and coming out continues to involve Eddie so much. Tell me they're end game, even if they're not gonna get together right now, without telling me they're...

I did not need to learn Marisol is moving in with Eddie like this, with any build up, or even any sort of insight into the relationship, and nope, that does not bode well for them. IDK how 911 managed to do it, but they have somehow managed to give Eddie a love interest the show is even less invested in than Ana.

And the funniest bit, is that Marisol and Eddie's big development is only there to further Buck's journey anyway.

"You can never have too much closet space" LMAO the way 911 both made me laugh, and feel sorry for poor, baby bi Buck. XD

Hmmm. Were parts of this scene cut out? We don't get to see Eddie on his own date with Marisol, but constantly looking over at Tommy and Buck? Boo. I'm glad we at least got the BTS photos, then. But seriously, why!? That was gonna be so delicious.

Oh, Tommy's breaking up with Buck. I mean, good for him, and he ain't wrong after Buck's "after this, we're gonna go out looking for chicks" reaction, but man do I feel sorry for Buck. Him and Tommy might not be my end game (Buddie forever will be), but I do think this relationship could be good for our baby bi. Tommy being in the same profession, knowing what it's like to have this gap between who you are and the image of guys in your line of work, plus he's got more experience than Buck, is sure of himself, can help our boy figure himself out, and also Buck obviously does like his vibe. He deserves to be with someone he actually likes, not just the first woman willing to be with him that the plot pushed in his way.

Oh, baby Buck. :( You didn't even tell Maddie about Tommy. You really aren't ready it. But also (and as a Buddie shipper, more importantly), Tommy broke things off with Buck, but what is eating him up, is that he lied to Eddie. XD Yeah, this gonna end with wedding bells, sooner or later. On screen, off screen after the show ends with canon Buddie, or only in my head if 911 never dares make Buddie canon, I don't care. That kind of emotional devotion is not something that my hopelessly romantic heart can ignore.

OMG, this is how Buck comes out to Maddie? XD Via random pronoun mention, and as a by product of trying to figure out how to tell Eddie the truth? This is hilarious. lol It really makes it clear that, after all, the issue for Buck really isn't people knowing he is also dating guys (or checking their asses), even when it's the other closest person in the world for him, it's Eddie. Specifically. Buck's ready, even if he doesn't have the exact clear words yet, he's just not ready to tell Eddie. Can't imagine why. XDDD

What was that awkward post-sex scene with Eddie and Marisol? And the issues with her moving in are popping up a second after she has. But yeah, we have no idea who this woman is as a person, she's been a cardboard cut out so far, and then one of the first things we do learn about her, is that she would call her stuff better than Eddie's? Once again, this is not the stuff great romance is made of. Or... even just the stuff any kind of romance is made of.

Wait, Marisol was a nun, and Eddie didn't even know!? This whole ep is telegraphing in the news of how weird and awkward and underdeveloped this r/s is, not just for us as viewers who know nothing about Marisol, but apparently for Eddie as well.

And of course his Catholic guilt is gonna kick in now. I'd care, except 911 has given me absolutely no reason to. Seriously, I care more about Buck and Tommy after just 2 eps, than Eddie and Marisol, even though this is technically her 2nd season on the show.

Of course Buck went to find Eddie, and spotted him at the gym. Forever 201 vibes, with Eddie being the focus of Buck's attention. ^u^

I couldn't care less about Eddie's Catholic guilt crisis, and how it's actually a projection of what his real issues are with Marisol, but it's nice to see that as always, Buck's the one who can tell when something's off, and offer Eddie exactly what he needs (even when that's to talk to someone else, but Buck figures out immediately who the right person to address is), and then they just very naturally switch, because Eddie can also tell when something's off with Buck, and he wants to tell him something. Soulmates. THAT is the stuff that great romance IS made of.

:/ The imagery of Catholic nuns has not been around for over 2,000 years, please stop being ignorant about your own religion, and the very different way it looked in its early days.

Bobby is forgiven, he does give good advice, and his "her ex, the Lord" bit, which prompted that reaction from Eddie, is hilarious. XD

So... when Eddie is having issues with Marisol, he already knows he has to figure out how he feels about her, but instead of doing so, he goes to his safe place... Buck's loft.

Man, Eddie being into Tommy's choice of avoidning relationships with women, and hanging out with boys, after in the past, Eddie had dealt with his Shannon issues by running away from her, and re-enlisting in the army, where he gets to hang out with boys, when we all (Buck included) know why Tommy's "hanging out with boys"... I do like that if they want to (and hopefully they do), this further lays the groundwork for Eddie's own queer realization.

Buck and Eddie helping each other with their respective romantic problems, without realizing they are each other's respective romantic solution is gonna make me chew on my own fists. Again. But I'm not even a little bit surprised that Eddie was totally fine and accepting of Buck being bi, or that the first thing he thought of is how this reflects on them. Because their friendship IS way deeper and closer than normal for platonic friends, and Eddie's little reassurance is also an admission of that.

Man, for a second I was worried they also cut out Eddie in the loft, once more putting his thumb on Buck's pulse point possessively, in a perfect parallel to 303. I would have sued for emotional damages. But yeah, it says so much that the peak of emotional meaningfulness for Buck when coming out is in relation to Eddie, and that the scene itself peaks with Eddie, instead of finishing rushing out to take care of his own romantic business, hurries back to Buck first, to hug him, place his hand on Buck and give him orders. "Sure, you're gonna be dating this guy, but I'm still your real husband."

Well, at least Eddie amitted to himself and Marisol that he doesn't actually know her. But... I have never seen two people being both being so happy about not moving in together, and I'm supposed to think this r/s has a chance? Okay. Suuuure.

The scene with Buck going to Tommy to set things straight ready for something was lovely, it was nice seeing him excited, and get to choose, and hear he's wanted. But since the note Tommy and Buck's storyline in this ep should have ended on, is Buck showing Tommy he's ready enough to let others know he's dating a guy by inviting Tommy to come with Buck to Madney's wedding, then why is the very next scene playing the romantic switch again, making us think Buck's car just arrived at the wedding with him and Tommy, only for Buck and Eddie to walk in together? I see what you did there, 911.

Thank you for reading! If you're looking for more, you can find my s7 reactions tag here, and more of my Buddie meta and content in my pinned post. xoxox

[bhaal-battle-beer-bard]

✨Let's talk about OCs!✨How would you describe your OC's personality/aesthetic? What's your favourite thing about them? Tell us a fun fact(s) about your OC or their creation!

❤️Send this to at least 3 people to spread some OC appreciation!❤️

Thank you 😃😘 OC appreciation is really important. Well, in the BG3 community it's massive anyway. Maybe it will spill over into other fandoms too, so more and more of it 😉 (I wouldn't dare talk about my OCs from other fandoms to be honest 😅🫣)

To not always only do it for Saulus, I will do it for all my three Tavs😁

Saulus' aesthetic is a classy romantic bard one: you have flowers, nature, birds and wooden instruments playing with the colours of the wind. You should know her bard book by now 😉 That is it!

Have real bhaal babe Saulus then it will change to grotesque blood, gore, skulls and madness. So let's better stay with the butterflies and flowers Saulus 😅

In clothes her aesthetic started from a battle bard always in her medium armour.

In the camp she only ever wore decent high-necked clothing. Swapping clothes with Shadowheart's strict Sharite wardrobe was the order of the day because she also likes dark leather, dark purple and silver.

Simply anything to cover as much of her skin as possible, which she does not find desirable like Astarion's flawless porcelain skin.

But thanks to Astarion and other Tav friends and the great @aristenfromwarsaw , who showed her the beauty of her body, Saulus has stopped looking at her body the wrong way and has started loving it.

Now she dares to show more and more skin; yes, she even likes to show her thighs and occasionally her stomach 😉 And sees that she also deserves beautiful dresses, which she loves to wear. Or some crazy black leather clothes are also still her style 😉 (The full bhaal mode is something😂) She no longer hides and now enjoys being sexy and trying new things. She is either an elegant lady or a degenerate Bhaal Leather Warrior, those are her styles xDDD

And that is the fun fact and what I love most about her: She was created for an evil run and just ended up to be and become more and more the silliest good time girl ever! 😄 That is her and I can't deny it. She loves love. She can have a sense of humor like a twelve-year-old boy. She is infinitely stupid and naive when it comes to the people she loves. She doesn't mince her words and is incredibly wisecracking, but she only means it in a funny way.

Oh and her whole character is based on the song Perception check from Tom Cardy 😄 (She hit harder than every warrior)

✨Devorah's aesthetic is dress up doll all the way. She is a drow. She is magnificent. She is beautiful. ✨

Her colors were pink and green at first. Then I saw that blue, black, red and white suit her just as well 😂 So she always matched all her make up and body painting to her clothes. She always wore the finest robes. Better to be well dressed than to be too good. And she had no problem walking around in underwear or even completely naked. 😏😉

So beauty, fine fabrics, beautiful colors, luminous under dark mushrooms are her aesthetic.

Fun fact+most likey: I always liked the name Devorah and thought I would use it in the next fantasy game. I didn't know that Lae'zel's voice actress was called that xD She can give the meanest evil eye "thanks" to Volo 😆

She is playing the flute because Tom Cardy the human bard does ;)The gnome kink came from Barcus' "I would kiss you, but neither of us deserves that" which I didn't have in the first two runs and it stuck in my mind so funny as her mission to kiss him xD Being a drow is just fabulous 😏 All the little goblin men love her 💁‍♀️ It just stayed and...yes I have stupid sense of humor and I love it 😆😆 This bard side of BG3 is kinky, ok? 😄

Jeleyah's aesthetic was based on the fact that blue is her color and she has a slightly Nordic touch. ✨

She is always at the forefront with her golden heavy armor. The shield of her comrades. In camp, however, she likes to take off the armor to show the woman underneath. The loving, attentive and tender woman that she is. Then she likes to wear very feminine and figure-hugging clothes.

Fun fact+most likey: I created her in almost every race because I couldn't decide 😂 And in the end I decided on half-elf. And I still think she looks beautiful. I just love her eyes and her gentle face. Really. Her sweet, beautiful face brings me joy. Especially because I know that she always wanted to do the right thing for everyone and always put the needs of her friends first.

[redfountainpostin]

I headcanon Riven as a rocker type guy, but I don't think he wears a lot of black. He's not against the color, it's just a bit boring for him plus he associates it with funerals so it's meh to him most of the time. His wardrobe, in my head, is Maneskin inspired but with more pinks and cherries, and a few reds (like the combo on the strawberry shirt) and of course most of his clothes cover up more (but I'll defend the 70's boy crop top look until I die- I actually hc that it is quite fashionable for boys and girls alike in Magix, Riven is actually most fashion forward of the group- Timmy does have his very flattering Sheldon style (yes I said it XD) and Helia is doing his own thing, while Sky doesn't know what his style would even be and Brandon wears the clothes that his dresser sends over). Riven's style is mostly inspired by the music scene and his favorite color, which is pink. He doesn't put a lot of thought into his clothes, but it's there. And yes, that sometimes makes him the only pink thing in the crowd of black, but when you have that dog in you that's no issue. Riven doesn't see an issue with wearing a lot of pink because his HAIR is pink, it's already a done deal, why fight it? @daydreamsia ohhh I know you mentioned black nailpolish, but what about black cherry? And I do think all this is a bit confusing to Bloom, who is used to aggressive, biting guys like Riven dressing extremely masculine- so being barked at by a tall, muscular guy dressed in the strawberry shirt is very odd. The overall pink look is broken up by the fact that he usually wears parts of his uniform out, so the pink/red/cherry is usually balanced with cream, blue, and sometimes black and/or camouflage. When I was a kid I didn't think the blue and cream uniforms were badass enough so I hced them as black, but then Fate did and we hate fate plus it showed me it's kinda really boring. So while I do think they'd have like, one black think, it's not so much a uniform as something they wear for a very particular training/mission, they don't have that many of those issued to them anyways; they have a few cami gears, which is what they'd wear when going to Black Mud Swamp (not contradicting Episode Black Mud Swamp because they weren't meant to be there anyways) and the rest is blue/cream, with maybe a fancier version of their canon ones being ceremonial ones. Also, yes, red fountain basically supplies a near damn whole wardrobe because teenage boys are shit at keeping up with their laundry (they do it themselves- in Alphea housekeeping does it) and the boys won't mind rewearing dirty clothes mostly but the STAFF most certainly does. DID, actually, and that's why they started issuing more clothes to the boys instead of like just 2 pairs. Has anyone noticed that I want the strawberry shirt? Bc I want the strawberry shit god DAMN it I don't even dare to look up the price. Should I do it? Do I deserve a little something something?? (is it even still in the rotation???) (so many questions) I also saw a kick ass lounge chair I want. I don't have a lounge. Honestly the day I don't wake up and want something ridiculously expensive is the day hell freezes over lmfao.

[piracytheorist]

Spy x Family Code: White thoughts!

Alright, time to write down my thoughts about the film! I liked it a lot, and for this anime only it was a HUGE satisfactory dose after not having had anything new since December 🥲 there were a few parts that I found meh, and I will mention them here too, but overall I got a very positive view of it!

Related to this, my mom was in the next room where I was sitting watching the film, and when I finished and passed by to get some water, she asked me what film I watched that made me laugh so much. So I think that speaks for itself 😂

Anyway, on to the film!

Having seen the trailer where Twilight rips off the disguise of a woman with long, curly blonde hair, as soon as I saw her here I was like is that her? But then that guy appeared and I recognized his voice and, dare I say I was confused XD

Damn, isn't that past their rating? XD

And then the music started! STRIX theme with a new twist for the film!

I think by this point we've already shrugged away Twilight's ability to make disguises. It gets even crazier near the end, so it should be of no surprise that he just disguised himself as that woman. Lucky she happened to wear a choker, too, good cover for his Adam's apple.

The way they showed the woman wrapped in a blanket underneath the desk, though 😳 that's the kind of visual you'd use to show a character died. What am I supposed to infer from this, guys?!

Then we cut to Yor!

There's a review on letterboxd saying how easy the film is to watch and follow for someone who hasn't watched the original, and I'm happy to hear that because as someone who already knows these characters and their dynamics, it didn't feel like it dragged on too much on that.

Yor, ever being the sweetheart, will call a guy a traitorous scumbag yes but she will be kind as ever when she kills him 🥰

The way she dodged the bullets! Queen! And also a set up to later show her dodge all the ammunition thrown from the shooters and Type F!

This. Was. Amazing. I actually gasped out loud. The animators understood the assignment, 10/10.

Right after that, we see Loid reach his door, and for the first time we see him go to use keys. A few other times I remember anyone opening the door they just... opened it. You'd think an apartment where a spy and an assassin live would have better security! XD

I love how they kinda showed it like Yor was going to attack Loid, and then Loid just turned and went like "Oh hey beautiful wife, welcome home! :D" It must have looked funny for anyone who hasn't seen the anime/manga before XD

Yor wants to cook! Everybody hide!

That... is a horror of an omelet. Yor's cooking is always for the "congrats lil buddy that’s the worst anyone’s ever done it" meme. She does try, though, bless her heart.

Anya evades the horror. And Loid wants to make... peanut butter pizza???? Is that even a thing??? WITH MEAT ON TOP???

What does it say about this film that this isn't the weirdest thing to happen in it

TITLE CARD WITH THE THEME ENDING AND THE ORCHESTRA GOING WILD <3333

Damian, shut the fuck up

... I mean, with a mother like that... I'll give this to him XD

Did Anya call him an asshole? Serves him right, tbh XD

Knowing that the story can't veer a lot far from the anime/manga canon, I already knew Anya wouldn't earn a Stella in that competition. But it was a good set-up for the rest of the film to move on from.

Twilight read Henderson's lips through a window and through the latter's thick moustache, and lip reading is already hard to do accurately, if not nearly impossible. Boy's nuts. But I think it only prepared us for a fucking falcon to fly above him and throw him the message from WISE. Show-offs XD

A rare view of Berlint!

DAAAAMN the higher animation budget is really doing those characters such good favour 🥰

Bro actually read a book by flipping through it. Get outta town.

The idea of having another guy take over Operation Strix from Twilight feels a little shallow. It's already a very delicate and long-term operation, it feels that it wouldn't make sense to replace their best agent with just a dude just because said dude has connections.

Twilight meets with Nightfall outside, and Yor sees them across all those streets (I mean, she is an assassin with a deadly aim) and... she doesn't recognize Nightfall? Is this supposed to take place before Nightfall visits the Forger household?

I mean, at the current time in the anime, Yor is supposed to be over her fear of getting replaced, but I get why they retreated back a little, so they could explain the later scene of Loid taking her hand and reminding her of his vows.

Very conveniently, Yor's coworkers are chatting about cheating men, and Yor, being inexperienced with relationships, immediately believes everything, her suspicions even taking root with what she just saw.

Back home, Twilight thinks about how, since he's dismissed from Operation Strix, he'll have to move out, and the camera shows their happy family picture 🥺 he's not ready to admit his feelings to himself but the narrative is.

Making the dessert that's the favourite of the judge and in particular the one he grew up with feels kinda cheating, no? XD

Come on, Loid. A child filling her bag with toys does not deserve that murder glare 😂

That train looked a little too modern for the supposed 60s/70s aesthetic. I know Germany has some top trains (as does Japan) but like, still XD it's very different from the train we see on the very first episode when Twilight boards one for Berlint.

Lovely visuals, though!

I wonder if there's any system as to how Bond's powers work. He has the vision of Anya finding the suitcase and opening it... but that's creating a sort of paradox because without the vision coming to him and without Anya seeing it, it wouldn't have been made true. I mean, I get why it was put there, but still.

Again, the story needed a little backtracking in order for Yor's doubts to make sense. I'm not sure how much they contributed to the whole story, but at least there it was funny. The small awkward laugh she throws at the end before she exits their booth to go look for Anya was hilarious XD

Gremlin Anya is best Anya <3

LMAO at least she enjoyed the chocolate XD

The following part was intense! I found myself saying "Run Anya run!" even though I knew from trailers that they'd eventually catch her anyway.

So the microfilm hides intelligence about a research lab in Westalis. Hmm.

I think it was at this point I noticed that they had Anya react to people's thoughts way too little. I get that it can get repetitive but with her curiosity she would have tried to look for more information through the guys' thoughts.

"Chocolate thieves" is actually perfect to describe those two. They were conveniently - and hilariously - incompetent.

But it did get intense. It's always like that when a bad guy threatens to hurt, let alone kill, a child.

I love how Yor asked Anya to close her eyes while she was beating up the guys but then told her she can open them when they were down and fully expected her to believe her lie that they just passed out XD

Also, her snowman jgvllublftlulbj

Chekhov's military airplane! I didn't expect it would actually work by the end, though XD

I love the music in the restaurant. Poor Bond being left alone outside where it's snowing, though 🥲 at least they brought him food!

Yor notices that it's rare for Loid to wear turtlenecks, and that's actually true. Too bad, though, they fit him so nicely :)

I actually laughed out loud at the guys jumping on Yuri to stop him. They were prepared. They knew who they were dealing with XD

"Rubble and Bonds"... the chef is very wholesome but he literally named his restaurant after his trauma and like... dude. Therapy exists. And then he starts laying out his trauma thick while Twilight is sitting there like yup this doesn't affect me at all

I don't think he was prepared for that when he asked about the restaurant's name. I was kinda disappointed they showed the exact same footage of him as a kid from the first episode. I think they could have afforded making a few seconds of new footage of the same imagery. But maybe that's just my anime-only ass who has been waiting for a certain manga arc to be animated for nearly two years now 😶

Snidel appears! And he has the absolute nerve to just... steal the meremere plate from someone else's table. Perfect way to make us hate him.

And... I'm sorry. I have to say it. When Snidel challenges Loid to a game and the camera focuses on Loid... that zoom-in and fade to black was SO CRINGEY. Sorry XD

The music there was nice, though. I think I notice a tiny bit of James Bond music influence.

Fucking Snidel shifting the goalposts with the amounts of sugar. That's not being detailed, that's not explaining the rules of the game properly. They really wanted us to hate the guy.

Twilight looks really stricken by the fact that he lost. And we know it's not because of despair - since he immediately says they can have meremere the next day - and it's not because his pride was hurt... so you can't take it out of my mind that it was because he was disgusted by how a grown-ass man practically stole a piece of cake from a little child, and Twilight was unable to stop him.

But then XD Loid has the absolute gall to ask a chef for his recipe, and then reprimand Anya for calling him stingy. Like mah dude it was already a far-fetched request to have the guy give you the recipe XD

Twilight being totally not suspicious and bolting through the market to buy all the ingredients. Cause that's what normal people do.

The way Twilight tries to cheer Yor up and he only manages to make her feel worse never disappoints XD

Right, I forgot this film was released in December in Japan. It feels weird for it to have a winter-y, almost Christmas-y feeling while I have my A/C on XD

I like how Twilight actually cared enough to expose the guy at the shooting gallery, and advise him to run an honest business. You'd think this would be low on his priorities... but having a child will expand your sensitivities. It feels similar to how he encouraged Carroll Campbell into playing tennis more fairly and to depend on his own strengths.

And then he wonders why a little child has fun on a train ride XD

I... am not sure how I feel about Yor's outburst there. It feels directly inspired by the Disastrous Date, if not a copy of it, and I'm not sure it helps Yor's character develop in any way. I mean, again, I get that the film can't allow the characters to develop a lot since it can't veer from canon, but still, it felt a little forced just to give Yor more screentime and to have a very subtle twiyor tease.

Anya finding out about divorce through Becky's soap-opera filter, though XD

They feel too confident leaving Anya all alone (even if she's with Bond) in a strange town. I know they can keep an eye on her from the ferris wheel cabin, but still.

Now that's a character development moment you can have without veering from canon: having Yor feel guilty for allowing Anya to notice her dark mood, and then feeling happy that Anya pushed her and Loid to having a moment together to talk things out.

Also, beautiful visuals!

Twilight, best™ spy™ of Westalis™, being unable to read the room whenever his wife is involved.

MAH DUDE. THERE'S ONE THING TO DESCRIBE WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND THAT'S BEING TOO DIRECT

That's a phrase you don't wanna hear from your little kid, especially when you're fake married XD

Handler: Go and help Twilight. Nightfall: Yes ma'am! Handler: Not you. Nightfall: SENPAI WILL NOTICE ME SENPAI WILL NOTICE ME Handler: jfc

It was really sweet seeing Anya and Bond play, and then Yor joining in. That makes it more plausible that the film is set earlier on in the story, since it looks like Yor isn't used to playing with Anya.

No, really, what did that woman who was at Franky's kiosk want to ask him when she would come by with her friend??? 😳

One day the way Twilight abuses Franky's services will come bite him in the ass, I'm calling it now.

Yet another scene where character/relationship dynamic can happen without veering from canon: Loid comes back to the hotel and says he'll go out again, Anya says she wants to come too, and Loid tells her she has to stay in the hotel. Anya goes back to the bedroom dejected, but Yor reminds him it's a family trip and they're supposed to spend this time together, connecting that to her memories of Yuri being happy whenever he spent time with her.

And I think that speaks to another level of distance Twilight has kept from his emotions; he denies himself that he loves his family, but that also leads him to forget that his family won't like missing out on quality time with him.

I especially noticed his surprised reaction at Yor saying that being away from loved ones can make one feel lonely. I don't think Twilight has allowed himself to grasp just how lonely he's felt all these years, it was just the norm for him to have no-one. He's forgotten what it's like to have loved ones and to miss them when you don't get to spend enough time with them, and he's also forgotten that for most people, this is how everyday life is like. We love people, we like spending time with them, we miss them when we haven't seen them in a while. A master of disguises he may be, but this role forces him to face the thing he understands the least: human relationships.

And so, he realizes that Anya's motivation here wasn't petulance or restlessness. It was her need to have fun with him. He considered it easier to sneak around to find the liqueur if they weren't with him, but he failed to consider that casting them aside would actually impact them. Give yourself some credit, dude 🥺

Nightfall: I will surprise Twilight with my effectiveness!

Twilight when he sees her unexpectedly:

I did love however how he looked so sternly at her when they were outside. Like lady, first, bad timing, second, this is why Handler didn't want you to be the one to help Twilight XD

Once again, Bond's power works in a form of paradox. He saw the shop where the liqueur was, and Anya went there because she saw it. If she hadn't seen it, she wouldn't have gone, and Bond wouldn't have had the vision.

I love how the military guys get a rough sketch of Anya and go like "Nah no-one can actually look like this" XD

Anya must have swiped some dalcs as she ran off. That liqueur wasn't gonna be cheap!

Poor Bond!

Endo has surrounded Anya with two physically exceptional parents and a big strong dog to protect her, so it's hard to make a case of her getting kidnapped believable. Realistically, I think Bond would have fought harder to keep her safe, but to achieve the kidnapping the bad guys would have had to get more violent with him. That would make for a sadder scene and also take away from the humor of those guys' incompetence, so the most violence against an animal they could resort to was a conveniently falling beer can.

And thus, the "Anya Has to Poop" side plot starts! With the amount of fear she went through in those scenes, I'm surprised she didn't just... accidentally let go 😶

I just realized when Loid was checking the plane's radio they were also refuelling it. Again, kind of a surprise the whole system worked XD They were a little too chill about the fact that Anya was with the military, though? Maybe I got the wrong vibe off of their acting, lol.

The way that Yor decides at the last moment to join Loid and just... runs and jumps into a plane that's right on takeoff. Madwoman. I love her.

Meanwhile, at least Nightfall is funny XD

They really went on and made an entire sequence in a different animation style for a poop joke. Respect where it's due 👏

Someone: So how did you save world peace this time? Anya: I refused to take a shit.

The incompetent duo have a bedpan that's shaped like a duck and, funny thing... in Greek the word for "bedpan" can also be called, colloquially, with the same word that we use for "duck". So. There's that random connection I found funny XD

Twilight tries to ask for permission to land on the airship and they immediately turn their guns on him and damn, that must be terrifying.

And damn, again, that's a huge risk he took just to get Anya back. My man was prepared to do anything. And he walked out of the plane crashing into the airship without a single scratch like GET OUT OF HERE. I wanted my whump and I only got a single drip of blood near the end 😞 when will I have my whump.

And then Yor just... ran on the top of the airship, fully exposed to the freezing weather of not only outside but also a few hundred (thousand?) feet off the ground. My girl runs on hot steam. AND THEN SHE ALSO FUCKING TOOK HER COAT OFF.

Meanwhile, Anya finally finds a private moment to take a shit. And that marks the end of the wackiest plotline in this movie XD

Okay now, look. I can maybe imagine Twilight quickly making up a mask of Snidel's face from earlier in the day (though he wasn't shown to have any time to do that), and he somehow had it ready when the time came for their duel. But making a mask of that random military guy? Yeah, my suspension of disbelief is stronger for that than for freaking time travel XD

Yor also has her moment of going like "Excuse me, may I ask a question" and immediately getting guns aimed at her.

Damn. What the actual fuck is Type F even. At first I thought it was a full-on robot, but apparently it's a modified human? The fuck. Also. Just how many fucking bullets does he have???!

For real, though, Snidel isn't fucking around. He not only is fine with murdering a kid in cold blood, he also finds it entertaining to make her terrified as well. Like, even that guy from the Doggy Crisis arc said "Nothing personal, kid," when Keith commanded him to kill her.

And then Twilight overhears the incompetent dudes mention Anya... and mighty spy Twilight's emotions get the best of him and he beats up those guys for no other reason than getting back at them? More likely than you think.

Fuck, that scared me. That bullet was literally millimeters from piercing his brain. Cool visual, though, with his real hair popping from beneath the mask.

Anya worrying about her papa :(

Okay, I don't care about the logistics. This was fucking awesome.

AND THEN THIS???

10/10. They understood the assignment.

AND THEN THE OTHER THING???

QUEEN SHIT.

No, but really, their fight was going in circles because Type F has a shit ton of bullets and Yor has great stamina and ability to dodge bullets. She can't win with her strength, so she has to use her brain and her environment. AND SHE SLAYS 👏👏👏

My dude why are you still surprised 😭😭 what did you expect your kidnapped daughter to do once she saw you came to her rescue 😭 HUG YOUR DAUGHTER BACK I BEG 😭

Nah, I know he can't yet, this guy's got the emotional type of constipation. He'll get there.

So we'll never know what he thought about her sneaking out to get him the liqueur, and why that made her smile, eh? Okay 🥲

I love how Yor and Loid just both buy each other's lies. Oh yeah I just decided to jump on your plane while you were taking off, no biggie! Yeah this military ship was totally run by chocolate thieves! And also, I was flying part-time as a student :D

(I also love how high his voice went there. It's full-on "nice sweet Dr. Forger" voice XD)

And then :)

My crops are watered :)

With the action part over, I gotta say that they handled it all of it awesomely! I felt that the whole film was a little slow at first, but I didn't really mind. The climax was great, I got my whump, I got my fake family working together with all of them pretending that oh it was just chocolate thieves and not an actual threat of war breaking out.

My question is... didn't Anya just gulp the chocolate down?

... how did the microfilm get stuck in her teeth?

... you know what, never mind XD

Aw, Twilight got Handler a bottle of wine! And she actually looked thankful for it!

... was she the one who went in disguise to trap Depple into cheating on his wife??

*squealing*

Yor offering to help with the dessert and everyone going "Naaaaah you don't have to 😁"

Damian, shut the fuck up.

It is funny, however, how Anya can say one (1) thing and unintentionally leave him a blubbering mess. Girl is not even trying for that, lmao.

And then, another trip! Buddy who has the time and money--

Oh, wait. Yeah they're going on vacation on WISE budget lmao XD

It's kinda funny to see this with me having the Cruise arc as the "last" I saw of them, as an anime only, cause it was "trip to the ocean!" then "trip to the north!" and now it's "trip to the beach!"

Aw!

Meanwhile, after the credits...

Hang in there buddy. Your time will come to get Twilight back XD

Overall, definitely recommended, it did have its weak parts and its parts that you had to happily kick your logic out the window, but it was great fun, with awesome action, character depth, and even angsty parts that I adored. This will keep my anime-only ass satisfied for a little while, hopefully we also get news about Season 3 soon!

[nilboxes]

I loved the way you characterise Aventurine! So I wanted to know your opinion if you think he’s able to have a fulfilling relationship, like life long sort of thing and what makes him hold on to that in spite of him always gambling on his life. Because I can’t really imagine an old Aven.

Hello Anon! Thanks, that's a first xD mostly people like my takes on Ratio more, but I do admit I find Aventurine harder to wrangle. There's just a lot to him but at the same time I keep coming back to feeling like "this guy's got noooothing"

So then, when you ask this, I don't even have like a good answer that isn't going to be a long essay.

Would he be able to hold a fulfilling relationship? In a way, yeah?

For me, I think Aventurine would love to be a family man. He'd be such a good dad! I just don't think his mental state would allow him to really be happy about it when he does get that because:

a) I don't think he will ever be free of being a Stoneheart and live a normal life b) because as he is his entire deal is that he is a man who got (nearly) everything (money + power) because he has nothing to lose.

So the nothing to lose bit is like, key to his character. If he becomes a family man the edge he has, the daring to bet his life vs what he wants to get will really start to have weight, he would start weighing that kind of wager more, and I think he thinks he can't risk that, because while we don't know what his new motivations are, I do think he would still want to accomplish a lot of huge things therefore...

The only way I see him gaining some balance in his desire to win against all cost but having like, a bit of attachment to life enough that there will be some stakes to make his mental state less bleak. He would probably permit himself only the ONE desire/one irreplaceable someone/one weakness, and that is all concentrated in Dr Ratio.

I feel like, idk, he's got to have something to live for, but not too much, enough to keep going. It might as well be 1 single person who he just wants to have a few pockets of peace with, not necessarily a white picket fence life, but just enough to get by in companionship etc. (I also don't think Ratio is the settling down kind tbh)

I really do see him winning until the very end though, at least he'd never lose a gamble where it counts. That said, I also don't think he'd get old, he'd probably die due to some recklessness or something. I do see him kinda sticking to the IPC though, but not because of Diamond's grander ambitions idk too early to tell.

I still really wonder what the deal was in the Myriad Celestia when he looked unhappy to receive his stone back. I don't think he was going to walk out of it alive, so did he want to die instead of come back to being a Stoneheart? It doesn't align with what should have been his character development at the end of the 2.1 quest and the title of his boss theme (Hell is Preferable to Nihility) suggests he is glad to face hell (continuing on his life) rather than be gone so anyway let's assume, he isn't exactly happy to be in the IPC but that is his the "state" that serves him best soooo

Thanks for the ask, anon! I hope that was sufficient answer enough and made sense. He's kinda hard to wrangle....

[tetsunabouquet]

Pertinent to the request I sent earlier; Could you write a scenario where Akashi tells his S/O about his DID and how it came about? And maybe also about the associated negative feelings? I'm sorry that's a bit too specific. xd I'd really like some Akashi angst right now. :'D

It was a calm day and his father had allowed him a free day; that he was using to be with you. He was laying in the garden, his head on your lap as you read his favorite novel out loud to him. He relaxed at hearing your voice. It had became a favorite pasttime of his, to lay back and enjoy you reading to him. He tried to relax, but something was nagging at the back of his mind. His other self. The Emperor inside of him, had a tendency to get restless when he was relaxing. Because the Emperor inside of him hated his free days. It was the antithesis to his existence, to have peace and to have no pressure to do anything. He could relax, most of the time, but sometimes, an irritated grumble from his other self would bubble through his mind and he'd tense up for a moment. Something you noticed. "What's wrong Sei?" You asked softly, closing the book and laid it at the other side of your lap. Knowing better then to lie to you, Akashi sighed. "I don't really know the best way to start." "Take a deep breath, I'll wait for however it takes for you to formulate that answer." You instructed playfully. This, was one of the things he loved best about you. How you could support him and bring a smile to his face with the most beautifully soft expression on your face that showed just how much you loved him. "You remember, my other personality, right?" He asked cautiously. You nodded, stroking his hair. "Is he bothering you?" "Not really, it's just that I feel there's this restless piece in the back of my mind that I'm sure is him. He cannot stand it when I relax." Akashi explained, glad he could talk about it with you. His father was a way different story, but you always listened and would confide any stories of your own regarding the subject in an attempt to make him feel less alone. And you were listening, biting your lip. "I suppose this is the part where I say, why do you think that is?" He took another deep breath, it felt like he had to gather all the energy in his body to answer your question, "It's because of how he was born." "You mean, the reason why you got sick?" You asked, wanting to be absolutely clear. You didn't wanted to be confused by a topic this important. Akashi's feelings mattered deeply to you, and so did his health; in every form. Akashi closed his eyes, not being able to bear the world as he dared to open up for the first time, "It was just after my mother died, you know? My father put me under so much pressure and it was as if I could feel my mind beginning to crack, and split. The Captain duties at Teiko took so much of me too, that when I nearly lost to Murasakibara, he emerged. My mind has created him to protect me against failure, and to always succeed. But he's an Emperor, who always feels like he has to do something. Relaxing like this is something he'd seldomly allow himself to participate in. He cannot handle us just laying about like this." He confessed everything, and it truly felt like a weight was lifted from his shoulders. "But Sei, that makes total sense. You were pushed to your absolute limit with no remorse, anyone's mind would shatter! Especially someone as vulnerable as a kid. I'm so sorry your dad's such a dick." You said, sincerely angry on his behalf. Akashi let out a small chuckle, feeling grateful he had a wonderful girlfriend who was as understanding as you. "But can I please tell Emperor-tan to let us enjoy our time? If he continues to bother me on our dates, he should better come out right now. I still need to kick his ass for threatening Nana-Chan anyway." You challenged and he grinned weakly in response. "Well, you should know he's not scared of you." "I don't care! He should better bring his A game, because I won't surrender easily! I will not stop until he cowers at my feet and leaves us be." You declared and he laughed softly. Going through grief, trauma and mental illness was a difficult journey and for sure a rollercoaster of emotions but with you that rollercoaster always ended at a positive note. He would thank you for being his rock, until his dying day.

[self-indulgent-paw-patrol]

If you are still taking submissions for the character ask thing perhaps Sweetie?

My first impression - She's so spoiled??

My impression now - She's SO spoiled?? Also not a villain, just obsessed with being in the spotlights, ok. They do treat her lowly though... I'd be annoyed too.

Favorite thing about that character - She may scheme all she wants and even capture the Princess, but the moment the Princess turns out to be in danger, she's always like HELL NO NOT ON MY WATCH

Least favorite thing - For such a smart pup, she fails a lot to understand most things she tries to get for herself to become the Queen won't actually make her the Queen just for being in her possession XD Come on Sweetie, you're more intelligent than this...

Favorite line/scene - See the next answer for favorite interaction, it's also my favorite scene

Favorite interaction that character has with another - She just wanted the attention and applauses... Busby played applause sounds for her... She hugged him... There goes my heart, I didn't need it anyway--

A character that I wish that character would interact with more - Chase. NO, SERIOUSLY, HEAR ME OUT-- Remember how she hated him because he's the Princess' favorite rescue pup? Imagine if the show would keep going back to this, at least sometimes. There would be space for so many shenanigans and side glaring/growling and arguing between these two. Every time they go to Barkingburg, Chase's like "What did Sweetie do this time" and Sweetie's like "HOW DARE YOU INSULT ME LIKE THAT I'LL MAKE YOU PAY FOR YOUR INSOLENCE" and everyone else's like "Omg just kiss already" "Welp here we go again"

Another character from another fandom that reminds me of that character - THOSE TWO GIRLS FROM THE HORSELAND SHOW, CHLOE AND ZOEY and tbh their horses too

A headcanon about that character - She secretly likes Rock music.

A song that reminds of that character - I NEVER THOUGHT I'D ASSOCIATE A SONG FROM "SIX" TO ANY PAW PATROL CHARACTER EVER and look at me now. "No Way". Just-- Just take away the whole part of how this song is about a Queen who was betrayed and gaslighted by her husband. Instead, change it into how Sweetie has always been treated poorly, promised big things but in the end she's just being played, she wants the attention she was made to believe she deserves, she wants to be important, and they just find it adorable and silly from her and keep pushing her down all the time. She's been loyal, she's been there for the princess all this time, what she gets in return? Mockery, laughter, they treat her as an adorable joke, most times they're just annoyed when she demands attention, she causes a mischief and they send her to her pup house jail thing and move on.

An unpopular opinion about that character - If there's a pup in this show who has an awful owner, that's not Arrby, that's Sweetie. She's not a villain, she's literally led to believe she'll have greatness and then they pull her down all the time. I really think the Princess should be a better friend and owner.

Favorite picture - Not exactly any particular picture but I just really like to see her happy

[destinygoldenstar]

🍀Justice For Lake!🍀 - Total Drama Viewer Reacts to Disventure Camp Season 2 Episode 6 “Broke & Back Mountain”

BOW DOWN TO YOUR SAVIOR.

HE SLAYED RIGHTFULLY.

Anyway, we're back. I know it's been awhile. I've been busy doing other things.

But don't worry. We're back now. We're cool. I didn't die.

At least I can watch this show more peacefully, so I'm not bombarded with bigotry every minute! I can hear my conscience again!

Because yeah, last episode's elimination, subverted my expectations in a way that pleased me.

I'm very interested in what's gonna happen next, considering Yul is out now. I mean, slayed or not, James is still an antagonistic character, so I'm ASSUMING he's taking the mantle as villain.

That and we have Krystal as a villain already.

So let's get into this episode:

Oh, no recap this time? We're just gonna...

Aw, I wanted to watch Yul die again :(

Awwwwww, Aiden and his bear, that's so cute ❤️

Why you sleeping with earrings?

Uuuuuuhhhh... why are you two sleeping together? What is going on here?

I guess you guys figured things out.

...

AND NOW I'M EVEN MORE CONFUSED AS TO WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE?

ARE THEY IN A POLYCULE? IS THAT WHAT IT IS?

😂

Riya has my exact reaction XD

"What in Bollywood's name did I witness last night?!"

"I told them not to bring it up until the game was over."

Wait, so why were y'all in the same bed?

That's not a 'friends' thing to do.

So Hunter still hasn't come out yet.

"Fortunately, Yul had to leave the game due to a medical emergency."

Yeah, FORTUNATELY XD

I love that nobody misses him at all.

"Eh, you know, we don't know if he made it or not, but he was kind of a douche, so I should be worried, but I'm just not, you know...?"

"Well, I hope he doesn't get well soon."

XD

YEAH SEE?! XD

DON'T WE ALL?

Idk how many Yul stans there are. All the Yul stans probably blocked me.

"I never liked Yul. His personality and way of expressing himself were horrible."

Why didn't you vote him out then? When you had the chance.

You could've allied with Kai or Connor, and not much about your gameplay changes.

"But all the hate he caused kept me and the girls safe. It was good strategy."

THAT'S your justification?

You and your girls weren't in ANY danger. And Kai would be easy to persuade for a fourth vote. You have majority.

OH. MERGE ALREADY?!

We're only at Episode 6. GODDAMN.

Total Drama 2024 was out for BLOOD trying to beat this.

"PreMerge speedrun! How quickly can we merge our characters?"

"As you may have noticed, we are in the middle of nowhere."

XD

"WELCOME TO THE VOID!!!"

"Excuse me?!"

What's wrong with supplies?

"HOW DARE YOU ENSURE THE PEOPLE'S SAFETY!!"

"Aiden and James are going together."

Oh goddammit. AGAIN?!

I mean yeah James didn't kill Aiden, but THAT'S THE BAR.

I would've loved to see Aiden and Lake pair up tbh.

As friends, obviously.

"Is there a problem with the signal here?"

I'm glad I have subtitles on so I know he said signal.

I heard 'SIGH-NAL'

'SINAL'

Idk, I'm not gonna question it in case this is an accent thing.

"You are in the middle of forest. There is no Internet here."

I thought that'd be obvious. XD

Oh he's gonna LOSE IT

"What?! What year are we in?!"

The year of HELL.

Except I'm in the future. So...

Still hell.

"You seem to know a lot about survival."

"No big deal, I just read it in a book."

Sounds like everyone.

"Sources?"

"Uh... I read a book once. Ten years ago. So yeah, I'm an expert. I know everything there is to know about surviving-OH, HEALTHY BERRIES-*GAGS*"

"Nope. Not another one. Please no."

XD

"NO! NO MORE GIRLS! PLEASE! I DON'T WANT LOVE, PLEASE!!!"

"Can you believe it?! What kind of low budget show leaves its participants without Internet access?!"

BUDDY. IT'S THE WOODS.

I'm surprised you even HAVE wifi at camp.

James is just gonna be complaining the whole time.

"We're in the middle of the woods, James. What did you expect?"

Yeah, exactly. Even the other characters are calling this out.

"Look, the faster we get to camp, the faster you can get back online."

Aiden's like, "So PLEASE, shut your mouth and stop staring at me with predatory eyes. Then maybe I'll get you your precious wifi back. If I don't smash the phone first-"

"I had some differences with James, but what he did for me in the previous ceremony makes me believe that, deep down inside, he's not that bad."

"I mean, HE KILLED YUL FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. How can I NOT respect the hell out of him?!"

"Now that the teams are dissolved, I guess you'll go back to your alliance with Lake and I'll be alone again."

Awww, Riya, honey, no...

"If I make an alliance with Lake, you will be also part of it."

ABSOLUTELY.

BEST GIRLS ALLIANCE? HELLO?

Alliance of all the best girls?

"We can dominate the game together and you can beat the shit out of us in the semi-final."

Oh so you WANT to lose to Riya?

Heyo, don't tempt her to slay, Rosa. SHE'LL DO IT.

"Huh, now that you're encouraging me to slay, I think maybe I should slay, you know? Helps with my broke-ass career. People LOVE IT when people SLAY."

Awwwwww

Why is Rosa so good with everyone?

"Maybe I should go higher."

"Don't do it. You could fall and hurt yourself."

LOOK AT YOU SITTING ON THAT THIN-ASS TREE BRANCH. YOU'RE ONE TO TALK.

"Do you care about me?"

Oh... oh that's deep actually... shit...

"Well sure. You are my friend."

"Even though you threaten my senpai's attention away from me."

"Who's your senpai?"

"Good question..."

*Bi Crisis*

"I thought you were just pretending to be nice to me."

Oof. OOF. Girl, I'VE BEEN THERE.

"What? Of course not! I really like you!"

"Don't take that in wrong context! Please, no! I'm not bi! I'm just making a point!"😳

"I admit, at first I pretended to be Tess's friend a bit so Hunter wouldn't feel bad."

Oh, so...

This and the children rage thing. I question your morality a bit Allyson.

Poor Tess.

"This is the last time you take part in a challenge!"

What are you mad at him for?! Ensuring your camper's safety?

...actually that checks out.

"People want to see people suffer and fight for their lives, to see them get hurt and go through the worst of embarrassments! This is what the show is about!"

You sound like a Chris McLean child.

You sound like Chris McLean right now XD

God that's a good line though.

Has someone working at OddNations seen my Total Drama posts where I discussed this exact topic, and said "We should make THAT a major theming of our show!"

"That's why this show went so many years without being broadcast!"

HUH?

HANG ON. BIG QUESTION MARK.

What is the time gap between Season 1 and 2? Exactly?

I THOUGHT it was just one year, but apparently not. It's been several years?

I mean I know the past hosts were criminals, but the show was still aired, right? Or was it not??

I'm confused now.

"I'm saying Lake was right. You ARE worse than Mr McLean!"

*CHOKES*

WAIT WHOA WHAT THE FUCK-?!

I SAID THAT AS A JOKE.

I SAID THAT AS A JOKE, I THOUGHT SHE WAS JUST SOME EXECUTIVE'S CHILD-

SHE'S ACTUALLY CHRIS MCLEAN'S DAUGHTER?!

SINCE WHEN DID THAT MAN GET A KID?!

Oh wait cause her name is CHRIS-tal-

I'm an idiot.

I am a fucking idiot.

I bet y'all are laughing so hard at my mental breakdown right now cause you figured this out on day one.

I AM A FUCKING DUMBASS...

Alright I'm calming down. I'm calming down.

So uh... SO MUCH MAKES SENSE NOW.

So... let me get this straight, if I am TRYING to understand the lore here:

Total Drama is CANON to this universe. That's what they're implying. Unless this is an AU.

I THINK when Oliver said "This Show" he meant that SURVIVOR, the show Total Drama is based on, doesn't exist in THEIR universe, and Total Drama IS the equivalent of Survivor in THEIR universe.

Total Drama took place in the years they were airing in real life. So TDI took place in 2007 for example. And the last season, before the reboot anyway, was Pahketiew Island. AKA, the worst TD Season EVER. That aired in...

*looks it up*

2014.

So if this same logic applies here, then this show takes place in...

2022.

So it's an EIGHT YEAR TIME GAP.

So after Total Drama got cancelled for Chris McLean's island scheme, before the show was revived in 2023, Disventure Camp Season 1 would take place in 2021.

And the original Disventure Camp, the season ran by Derek and Trevor, was aired as a shady site due to their crimes. Which is why they got people messed up in the head and/or desperate for money, to do the show. THEN when they got caught, a year later, the rights of the show went to Krystal, someone of much higher power and Chris McLean's daughter, and she kept the show alive and aired this season.

So it's basically:

TDI-TDA - 2007

TDWT - 2008

TDROTI - 2012

TDAS - TDPI - 2014

DC1 - 2021

DC2 - 2022

TD2023 - 2023

TD2024 - 2024

And if we're sticking with the year gaps, then DC3 is in 2023 in their time.

Idk, I feel like this could be wrong. I'm trying to understand the lore here.

I know, THERE'S ACTUAL LORE IN TOTAL DRAMA NOW.

"I'd rather sleep on the street than keep working on this damn show!"

DAMN.

That's every Gen Z employee now.

Y'all have no idea of the mistreatment we suffer...

Like, old folks, we will be overworking our asses off just to get impossible standards to even get HIRED in the first place. No matter the degree. No matter the experience.

And we will STILL not be able to afford rent.

And WE'RE the problem?!

Ummmmm... hi?

"Lake, get in the helicopter."

What? NO. WHY?

"You're out of the game."

WHAT?!

WHAT WAIT WHAT THE FUCK?!

HANG ON!!!!

Is this because she read you for filth?!

Are you eliminating Lake out of SPITE?

NO. I WON'T ACCEPT THIS. NO SHOT SHE ACTUALLY GETS ELIMINATED HERE.

SHE HASN'T EVEN GOTTEN A CHANCE TO PLEAD HER CASE OR GET VOTED OFF!

"Your father called. He wants you to come home immediately."

Oh so that's why?!

Lake, you don't have to go sweetie! STAND YOUR GROUND AND SAY NO.

"NO, Krystal. I am NOT going anywhere!"

"Unless I get voted off. THEN I'll leave. But not because of my shit father!"

"I could, but your father offered me a generous payment for him to skip certain deals."

Uh, yeah, no.

Lake, you don't have to do this.

"Also, if I remember correctly, you said some nasty things about me in the last challenge."

YEAH I FIGURED THAT HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT.

LAKE, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO GO.

"I AM NOT GOING. I HAVE TO GET VOTED OFF FIRST."

NOOOOO

NOOOOOOOOO

NOO COME ON

HUNTER!!! YOU'RE WATCHING THIS. DO SOMETHING!!

YOU CAN'T JUST DO LAKE LIKE THAT!

WHAT WAS THE POINT OF HER DEVELOPMENT IF IT WAS GONNA AMOUNT TO NOTHING AND SHE WAS JUST GONNA GO BACK?

WHAT WAS THE POINT?!

"I don't agree with Lake's situation but I admit I feel a little relieved now that I'm on my own."

WOW. YOU SUCK HUNTER.

BRING LAKE BACK! I WANT LAKE BACK RIGHT NOW!! GIVE HER A PROPER ELIMINATION! THAT'S BULLSHIT!!!

I'm so mad...

"Do you have any idea how much content you could be uploading to TikTok right now?"

And Tumblr.

*UNRELATED IMAGE*

"Don't tell me, thunder scares you."

Awwww.

It's actually worse cause they're in a tent.

"And to think I could upload how cute you are when you're terrified! Look at my BABY everyone! Hashtag LOVE!!"

UMMM... SIR. NO.

HE DID NOT SAY THIS WAS OKAY.

THERE IS NO CONSENT HERE.

HOW HARD IS IT TO ASK: "Hey, do you want me to cuddle you? It might help your fears."

"I can't replace your teddy bear. But I can try it."

...I mean it's a sweet gesture at least...

Half the time I can't tell if Aiden is blushing out of crush or DISCOMFORT.

James, I appreciate the effort, but you're still a creep.

Oh god it's HELL...

How is there a fire in the rain?

"It's the boys! Great! Now that I'm an intern, we can be friends again!"

What boys?

Trevor and Derek? They escaped?

WHAAAAAAATTTT IN HELL'S NAME...

WHAT ARE THEY DOING OUT HERE? HELLO?!?

"Kai and I have been living in the forest."

You're completely okay with this? WHY?

"A dance to bring rain!"

WAIT YOU'RE GODS?!

These two have been trying to become the GODS and take over the universe. Holy shit...

Why is Kai jacked? I just noticed that...

Why am I asking this when I have A MILLION other questions.

"Look for the wise man who drinks from the turtle's neck."

WHAT?

"I'm going to find some wood to make a fire."

Girl, IT'S RAINING. It won't work.

...what's wrong with Tess? You're fine.

"I need... I want all this to go away..."

OH...

Wait what she's going through? Is she panicking?

"I do not want to be here."

Does she have some trauma with the cave space?

"No! You do not understand anything! Nobody understands why I came to this place!"

Oh...

Okay, explain then. I want answers.

Honey's going through it right now.

"I told you not to worry, I don't need you."

Tess, come on...

NO DON'T CUT AWAY.

I WANT TO UNDERSTAND TESS BETTER.

WHAT WAS TRIGGERING HER THERE? I DON'T GET IT.

YOU CAN'T JUST CUT AWAY BEFORE I, THE AUDIENCE, UNDERSTAND SOMETHING!

OH LAKE'S STILL HERE. YES!

"Is there a reason father wants me to come back?"

I WONDER WHY.

"It's because of the kisses, right?"

"I haven't exactly come out of the closet, you know?"

"Because of that and because you burned your books, didn't turn in your essays, they found out you hid photos of them and now everyone knows you're bald for being stressed."

Oh. We FINALLY get an answer for that.

I heard that was a real thing that could happen. When people lose their hair out of intense stress. And... yeah.

That says a lot about Lake's character and what she goes through.

Also Krystal FORCED her to do all these things, so why isn't her dad taking it out on Krystal?

"I'm done. I'm sure he'll send me straight to boarding school and I'll have to spend my youth surrounded by cranky nuns."

You're just giving up? GIRL.

"Your parents seem tough, huh?"

"They're the worst."

Yeah. Took you awhile to realize that.

"Since I was born, they have controlled every aspect of my life. From the clothes I should wear, to the tone my skin should have..."

DAMN.

"Well, at least your parents were with you."

Oh, is Chris...

Why am I asking? OF COURSE. OF COURSE CHRIS WAS A SHIT NEGLECTFUL FATHER. I SHOULDN'T BE SURPRISED AT ALL.

"When I was a child, I could only see my dad on television."

"And he was torturing teenagers. Now you know where I get it from?"

"What abut your mother?"

"I don't know. Dad never talks about her."

I'm confused on if it was a fling situation or if Chris is married... idk, I don't remember if Chris mentioned having a wife or not.

This could just be a fling he had and whoops, the woman got pregnant.

OH THIS LOOKS LIKE A NIGHTMARE.

I'M SO SORRY GIRLS YOU DON'T DESERVE THAT.

OH NO HUNTER.

WHAT HAPPENED MAN?

"GOLDEN SAID I SUCKED..."

I'M SORRY!! I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO SUFFER FOR IT.

"James and Aiden found a bike that Oliver hid, Rosa and Riya put together a raft and are about to arrive as well."

Oh cool. Glad we saw that on screen. /s

"Third place? But Lake is here."

"Where's Hunter?"

"Oh, he died."

"Is that true, Lake? Are you going home?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

I hate this so much.

This sucks.

This is a SHIT elimination for Lake.

"But there was a change of plans. She stays here and she'll just leave this camp, voted out or with a million bucks."

OH WAIT, WAIT A MINUTE.

HAVE MY PRAYERS BEEN ANSWERED?!

Also the dad sounds like he's been kidnapped and gagged.

LAKE STAYS!!!!🎉

I wish Lake was the one who stood up to him. But SHE STAYS!!!

"That's right, father, mother, I'm not going anywhere. I will eat as many calories as I want, I will not marry anyone for your selfish interests, and I will not go to that boarding school! Whether I win the million or not, I will never let them control my life again!"

OKAY I'LL TAKE IT!!! I WILL TAKE THAT!!!

👏👏

GET EM QUEEN!!!!

Okay, NOW I get why y'all like her so much.

"There will be no eliminations today!"

Oh cool!

"Don't you want to catch up with your followers?"

"Nah. I'll do it later."

James development too? Hello?

AWWW LOOK AT THEM. THIS IS SO SWEET.

They didn't invite Tess, Allyson, and Hunter?

Oh there they are.

"Hey Ally, what I told you... what I said about pretending to be my friend, well I..."

"Tess. It's okay."

NO STOP INERRUPTING HER.

LET TESS OPEN UP GODDAMMIT.

I WANT A TRAUMA DUMP.

Allyson has a tattoo?

That actually looks kinda sick.

"Will Tess open up her heart to Ally?"

I feel like they can hear me teasing them.

Thing is I can't tell if they have better chemistry with each other than they do with Hunter, cause they'd had good Hunter interactions too...

But I think Hunter is aromantic, so...

And that was Episode 6.

No eliminations today. But I'm fine with it.

This was a pretty good character episode.

It's almost like now that a certain someone is out of the picture, I FEEL LIKE I CAN BREATHE. I CAN ENJOY THINGS AGAIN. I CAN BE INVESTED IN CHARACTER BITS MORE.

Instead of bitching about this one guy.

JUSTICE FOR LAKE.

Like, NOW I see why y'all like her.

I liked her at the start too, but not to the point where I was like "LOVE YA GIRLIEPOP, MUST PROTECT."

And now I am "LOVE YA GIRLIEPOP, MUST PROTECT."

I am SO GLAD that was a fakeout elimination. Because if that was real, I WOULD'VE BEEN PISSED. Because that would've butchered all her character development, made it all pointless, and plus that's just such a cheap and rigged way to eliminate a character.

That's why Leshawna's TDI Elimination is THE worst elimination of all of these shows. AND I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS.

THANK GOD THAT WASN'T REPLICATED HERE.

Do I think she's winning? Eh...? Idk. I don't know if a million dollars really suits her character and what they're doing with her, ya know?

If you're asking me who I think is winning: Rosa or Aiden.

Aiden has just been "The Innocent Boy" The entire time, and his association with the SNAKE of the cast is building up to something for sure.

I LOVE that James killed Yul. But in terms of being around Aiden, I'm not won over YET.

I still can't ignore the uh... CONSENTUAL ISSUES between them.

Like, come on, how hard is it to ASK before you snuggle up to someone? Especially if they're NOT your significant other.

And I just love Rosa. And I honestly see no scenario where she could be eliminated.

She's a lot like Owen and Wayne in that sense. Where her whole strategy is just being the nicest person around, and thus nobody wants to vote her off or hurt her.

Plus she actually DOES have some strategic moments with her girls alliance, and she knows morals and stands for them. So, yeah, I'm routing for Rosa.

She can use the money to raise her child. It would be so sweet!

She's a Paddington. That's all I'll say. She is a Paddington and a beacon of light in such a CRUEL, MISERABLE environment where there's so much deception and hate going around. And not only does she refuse to get pushed, but she also says that sweetheart. I SALUTE HER.

I also hope we get to know more about Tess. Idk. MAYBE I was stupid and didn't understand what was going on in that scene. Mostly because they don't explain it.

Like, I get that maybe you don't want an info dump. But I, the audience, needs to understand what's going on. I'm not in the writer's head! I don't know this character! I need to be explained what's going on!

I know she's an orphan. I know she's depressed. I THINK that scene was hinting towards a trauma trigger from either caves or the dark? But I don't know??? I don't know what they were saying there.

Maybe I'm stupid. If someone can explain that scene better, PLEASE. I want to understand this.

But, uh, here's a criticism for Disventure Camp:

There's several times in these episodes where they cut away before things can be explained. And several times it cuts away before I feel like the scene is properly done. It's weird pacing, and it's also depriving the audience of information we SHOULD have.

Like, Hunter says he'll talk to them about the love triangle situation. THEN IT CUTS AWAY. And next time we see them they're in the same bed and a confessional tells us what they talked about.

Like, you don't need a confessional there. You could've just, idk, SHOWN ME the scene where he talks about this to them. Then when we start this episode and they're all in the same bed, I wouldn't be scratching my head, I would be flattered because then I'd know what the conversation was and why they were doing that.

That's just an example. There's multiple others I could use.

Even in Season 1, even if it's not AS bad there, it's still there. Like when it cut away before Jake could tell Ellie his situation. Though, I can excuse THAT, because we the audience already knew of the situation and those aspects of Jake's backstory, so we didn't need to hear it again.

But everything else, idk, I feel like I should know more than I know.

This is like... just an example, The Amazing Digital Circus, only when they're in hell, we DON'T get Pomni breaking down and crying or Kinger's speech about love and memory. After Pomni gets saved from possession, we just go straight to them figuring out how to get past the damned soul corridor.

No, there's not a lot of action of them sitting there, so it's not the most fun scene to make, but it's NECESSARY, and helps you FEEL the characters and understand in full what's going through their heads.

You NEEDED that heart to heart. You NEEDED Pomni to cry. You NEEDED Kinger to explain his dementia. Otherwise you'd just be scratching your head on what the character's context is, because it's context you don't have.

This isn't a mystery show. So I think this criticism is valid.

It's a pacing issue. It's not a criticism I give out of spite. I'm just saying a flaw I have picked up on.

And I do hope they do better with this going forward and we get some really good character moments in the future.

And before you say "Runtime". This isn't Total Drama. This is an indie show that can do whatever they want and run these episodes as long as they want. So they ABSOLUTELY can make episodes 5-10 minutes longer to accompany some backstory and character building.

I know they can't do flashbacks or anything like that in this format, but idk, you could do some visual stuff with the setting to tell the story or something.

(I'm, at this point, asking to be hired as a writer.)

Good episode.

[featheredmoonwings]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers (except me because obvs I have done it). Spread the self-love ❤

This is a lovely ask thank you!

Now let's see. 5 of my favorite fics I've written, hmmm.

I know no one asked for explanations but I'll give them anyway XD Here they are (these probably change depending on my mood), in no particular order even though they're numbered:

Lonely Stars Drifting In The Black (gen) Why is it fav? I of course CANNNOT go without mentioning this fic. My first, properly long fic that I finished. I remain so proud of what I achieved here and my commitment to writing it all out and FINISHING it. That used to be something so hard for me to do and I'm so proud of how I managed to write these complex relationships without sacrificing the character's morals. I-m still working on the series that sprouted out of it and I'm STILL so happy about the stories coming out of it. Fandom: Star Wars: Prequels Characters: Jango Fett & Obi-wan Kenobi Summary: It's an easy job, go in, get some information, and then Jango Fett can be on his merry way out of the disgusting Death Watch camp which he has nothing but contempt for. It WOULD be an easy job, that is if it weren't for the chained kid they've got, tied up like an animal… Jango sees red and nothing more. He'll make them regret the day they dared to lay hands on a child.

Of The Old Things Hidden In The World (gen) Why is it fav? I consider this one of my most self indulgent projects and I love it for this XD. It's a crossover but I take myself very seriously with it and that's one of the things I like so much about it. Could be silly but I don't let it be. I took a concept that I really liked (Merlin turning Aithusa human) and then I just REALLY ran with that idea. When I would usually hate miscommunication, this story is filled with it but it's purposeful and no one is being stupid about it. Fandom: Merlin BBC x Avengers MCU Characters: Aithusa, Merlin, Tony Stark, Natasha Romanoff & Clint Barton Summary: Merlin and Aithusa have weathered this world together since the long gone age of Camelot. But now Merlin is in grave trouble and there's nothing Aithusa can do to help him. Merlin has commanded him not to follow, not to help. If Aithusa keeps doing nothing at all, it'll soon break his heart, surely. But… this new age has heroes, perhaps they might help. After all, Hydra IS their problem, isn't it? The should be the ones to deal with it.

A Crime Of Passion (gen, but can definitely be read as shippy) Why is it fav? This story gave me SO much grief but since the MOMENT I conceived this story I've loved the idea and at the end (despite all the problems) I keep loving the result I got from it. I got some good narrative out of it and TENSION. Characters being forced to do something they don't want to my beloved. Fandom: Twilight Characters: Carlisle Cullen & Aro Summary: For the life of Edward, Carlisle Cullen must make a bargain with the devil of Volterra himself, the bargain though, is not at all what the Doctor thought it would be. (Canon Divergence from the end of New Moon)

After The Mist (pre-ship but SUPER gen vibes) Why is it fav? This ones OLD and you can see a lot of mistakes in the writing but I LOVE the interactions that I wrote and the relationship I was crafting. I like it so much, love the idea of the story, that I STILL want to finish it and give it the love it deserves. Fandom: Frozen ll Characters: Agnarr & Iduna Summary: After young Agnarr returns to Arendell that faithful day in the forest, there's a grief too deep inside his chest he cannot begin to comprehend it. But there's no time to dwell on it, he's a king now and he must act as such. Still, he is drowning, he's drowning all the time. But there's someone out there who might just understand what this profound pain is doing to him. "My name's Iduna."

Drizzle By The Sea (Gen) Why is it fav? Another VERY old work which I'm still very fond off. It captures one of the things I love writing the most and it's this little pleasures like walking in the woods or getting soaked by the rain. I find the feeling it produced beautiful and it makes me happy so, yeah. The execution is maybe a bit clumsy but I know what old me wanted to transmit. I keep coming back to this sort of writing and I hope I never stop cause it makes me feel alive and like the world is magic. Fandom: Teen Titans (cartoon) Characters: Robin & Jericho Summary: Jericho is a bit... weird. Robin can see in the way the sea captures his attention that there's a natural feeling and a sense of delight that he carries with him. It's contagious.

Thank you so much for the ask @cilil it made me very happy and I did want to answer something like this today. I'm glad for that emotional boost, so thanks again <3