#anyway josie is really getting on my nerves

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

I've had a terrible day full of significantly elevated anxiety for no discernible reason (aside from, it's too fucking hot and this always happens when it's too fucking hot, also a number of other things but the level of anxiety is disproportionate to any of those real situations, probably because it's too fucking hot). I looked around my room to see some things I like to cheer myself up. I have don't quite a good job of making my bedroom into an over-decorated museum of things I like, which is convenient on a day when I want to just look around and quickly see something nice. Anyway, here are some pictures of my comedy-related collections.

On the wall - the old Josie Long poster that I got her to sign when I saw her in Montreal, and then I got Grace Petrie to sign it when I saw her live a couple of months later, even though I was so anxious about approaching either of them at all, much less giving Josie Long the weird request to have her sign a poster from ten years ago, or giving Grace Petrie the much weirder request to have sign Josie Long's poster from ten years ago, but I explained to her how it's because I already have Josie's signature and I'd love the idea of both their autographs on one thing, and I did also buy Grace Petrie's CD and have her sign that too, even though I already owned that album off Bandcamp, I just felt obligated to buy it rather than only say "Hi could you sign something that isn't even yours?", and to pay her money for the CD as a bribe to briefly talk to me. Anyway, as nerve-wracking as it was to get, I love that I get to look at it every day now. I have it on my wall next to the lovely quote from The Bugle episode 66 that @nyomkitten made in fancy fonts, and that I jokingly said I want on my wall, and then realized I actually do so I went and had it printed on cardstock.

Books on my shelf. Most of my Britcom books are in ebook or audiobook form, but some are on a shelf.

CDs and DVDs. The top one is Grace Petrie's Connectivity, which I bought to bribe her to talk to me long enough so I could get her to sign Josie Long's poster. There's also Kitson's Shenaniganagain CD, and the Lucksmiths CD that I bought on eBay because Kitson wrote the liner notes on it. Then we have John Oliver's stand-up special, Flight of the Conchords, Thick of It and In the Loop DVDs that I picked up at a Celtic music festival once, couple of Monty Python movies, a hard move away from comedy in the BBC House of Cards, some DVDs purchased back when Joss Whedon was still cool, and I did used to be a big hockey fan and follow the Edmonton Oilers really closely. Haven't cared in years; they made the Stanley Cup finals this year and I didn't give a fuck. But I used to.

Stickers on the side of my book shelf. The Taskmaster seal and Nish Kumar with a coconut on his head, both gifts from my then-girlfriend, attached to a Christmas card she gave me a couple of years ago. Now a somewhat painfully tainted memory, but I still like the stickers. A couple of other stickers that I took off the packaging from Daniel Kitson's CD, the official seal of Higgldy Piggldy Enterprises, which is how he incorporated himself. And a couple of playing cards that Ed Gamble threw into the crowd last year during the Max & Ivan pretend wrestling event, as his thing was "Ed The Gambler Gamble" so he had a bunch of cards. Cards that audience members could just pick up if they wanted to, and one of the people who did that happens to be a friend of mine who sent a few of them to me, which is fucking cool.

And finally, this weekend I moved some stuff around from my old hard drives to have more things in one place, on the big comedy folder that's on my 5TB hard drive. I've actually bought two 5TB hard drives this year, which might not be the best use of my limited funds, but I don't want to risk losing all that. So I have the one hard drive that lives in a pocket on the back of my laptop and is always connected to it as a working drive with this massive comedy folder on it, and another with a second copy of that folder. Part of why I bought the second one was I think I'm going to take the first one with me when I got to the UK so I can put stuff on it there, but if I don't have a backup at home, I'll be too worried about losing it.

(Note: I do not endorse the views or work of every comedian who has a folder on my hard drive. Most of it is there because I like them, but please do not assume I am a fan of all things expressed by, to pick 2 examples just in the As, Alfie Brown or post-2019 Alun Cochrane. Technically there are three people in the As whose views I do not share, because Alan Partridge has some ideas about immigration policy that just wouldn't be feasible. Oh and I don't like how Adam Hills got an MBE a couple of years ago and suddenly started expressing monarchist sentiments a lot. Only one letter in and I'm already disagreeing with plenty. On the other hand, I'm almost sure that Alice Fraser has never said anything wrong in her entire life.)

Of course, the hard drive lives on the back of my laptop next to my other Nish Kumar sticker, which I got because of the laptop that Nish had in season 4 of The Mash Report, which got filmed in his home due to lockdown:

I've definitely posted all of this before, but collecting those things again put me in a slightly better mood, which was the goal. Hope everyone's having a nice week and they solve climate change soon.

[poetzproblem]

for most memorable moments - the db proposal has been living rent free in my mind for at least half a decade. the imagery is just so clear, and it's obviously such a joy to remember rachel's nerves and quinn slowly putting together what's happening

also the one where the girls all go out drinking after santana loses a patient (and the rachel-playing-matchmaker-for-santaresa seed was planted) just them all being cute and drunk and ridiculous

oooh and also the one where they go on a picnic and faberry is all cute and in love, santana is full "what's new pussycat," josie is exasperated and loving love, kurt and harry are all new, and they're just. being friends! at a picnic!!! ughhh i love

sorry i got kinda excited lol anyway db slaps

Half a decade. I've been at this too long.

You know, I'm very sad to say that the 21 Club, the restaurant where Rachel took Quinn before proposing, closed permanently in March 2021. The pandemic really did a number on my timeline planning, but since Covid doesn't exist in DB canon, I can pretend that restaurant was open and operating as usual in 2020, when the proposal happened.

Drunk!Santana was fun to write - and a necessary step on the road to re-introducing Teresa. It was also born out of a conversation I had at a FeberryCon. So many ideas for great scenes in DB came from other people, and I'm very grateful for all of them.

The picnic was all mine though - the expansion of an otherwise throwaway line in Every Hour Has Come To This about how one of Quinn's favorite photos of her and Rachel came to be. Although, I think even that throwaway line came from a discussion here about how Santana would have been trying to get into Josie's pants every time she visited Quinn. But that fic was fun to write with all the teasing.

Thanks for sharing.

[hopemikaelsvns-moved]

honestly, josie is starting to pissing me off so much?? like she blames lizzie for her behavior/not knowing what she wanted when josie never talked about it (except lately) so how the hell lizzie should know what josie truly wanted?? like sure let’s blame my twin sister who i never talked deeply about how i felt because her behavior doesn’t change??

truth is that josie is responsible for her own relationship with her sister and hasn’t been honest to her (like with the penelope situation or ball situation)

[mackenzielovee]

This in a blurb

okay nothing but smut really under the cut so enter at your own risk also this is pre-Josie so that's not super important just to clarify. also this turned out smuttier than i meant it so oops

The annual Cameron Development dinner gets you every time. Every year, you think it might be different, and every year, Rafe riles you up with his sexy suit and the little things he does to tease you.

Ever since the first year you'd been in attendance, Rafe always made it his mission to try and get to you during his father's lengthy speech. And although you'd chosen a dress with a slit coming up almost all the way to your waistline, you swatted Rafe's hand away every time it traveled too far.

"Stop it," he mutters.

"No."

"I want to feel you. I know how you get when people talk about how good I am at my job," he says, a smirk gracing his features.

"I'm perfectly in control," you lie through your teeth, keeping your gaze on Ward as he speaks.

Rafe turns so his knees face you, setting one arm around the back of your chair and the other on your thigh as he whispers in your ear.

"Baby," he breathes, "I'd bet my life you're soaking wet right now."

"Rafe," you hiss, "Behave."

"No. You look too hot for that."

The remainder of the dinner consist of this. You can feel how close you are to losing control and just demanding a trip to the bathroom, but you're parents now, and not just horny teenagers. No matter how handsome Rafe looks.

You have a glass of wine to calm your nerves, then eventually separate from Rafe to talk to Rose for a while. You can feel his eyes on you as he converses with his co-workers, and after another hour, he nods his head toward the exit.

Rafe tells Ward you two have to be going, because you have to get Connor from your parents house at a reasonable hour. Your hand tangles itself in Rafe's as you both walk toward the parking lot. Just before you reach the doors, Rafe stops and looks around the deserted Club, then turns to you.

"Come here," he says, setting his hands on your hips and guiding you against the wall.

"Rafe," you groan.

"Just for a second, baby," he pleads.

"This is inappropriate," you say, but he can tell by the smirk teasing your lips that you don't really mind.

"We've done far worse in this building than kiss," he reminds you.

You giggle and tug him down to you by his tie, smiling when he groans at your taste. He acts as if it's been forever since he kissed you; his hands roam and his mouth attacks yours with urgency.

When he cups your jaw in his palm and shifts your head to the side to give him better access to your neck, your breathing grows uneven. When you whimper, quiet enough that you hope he didn't hear it, he smirks against your skin.

"Love that sound," he murmurs, "I'm gonna need to take you home, please."

You nod, giggling when he pulls back from you and adjusts himself before he takes your hand and tugs you toward the parking lot. You make it the passenger side of the truck before he's on you again; pressed up against you entirely and kissing you like his life depends on it.

"Rafe," you whisper when he continues his pursuit of your neck, "You were right."

"Hmm?" he hums into your skin.

"At the table. You were right."

He grins and pulls back, "I know."

You swat at him teasingly and roll your eyes, but tug him down for another kiss anyway.

"You deserve all the recognition they can give you," you tell him.

You take him in; now messy hair, tie tugged loose (probably by you), jaw slacked and lips puffy.

"Baby," he practically pants, "I'm so hard right now, I can't even think. I need you to get in the truck."

You laugh and do as instructed, reaching for his hand as you step up. He closes the door behind you, then sprints to his side and climbs in. His lips are on yours before his door is even closed, but he pulls back after a minute and groans.

"Fuck," he mutters under his breath, "Can I just take you here?"

You grab his wrist and check his watch, chewing on your bottom lip when you see the time.

"We told my parents we'd get Connor at ten," you say, "It's ten, now."

He groans louder, "Fuck. Fine. But you have to go in and get him. I can't - not like this."

You laugh, "Okay."

He starts the truck up and pulls out of his spot, squirming in his seat as he adjusts himself. You take your bottom lip into your mouth once more when the idea comes to you, and suddenly, you're thankful for the wine you consumed. It gives you just enough confidence to put your plan into action.

"I'm gonna try something," you announce.

Rafe's brows furrow, "What, like painting? Or reading books without looking at the last page first?"

"No," you reply with a glare, "Something else."

"What would that be?"

You shift in your seat, then lean over the console and gently rub him through his pants. His eyes go wide and he clenches his jaw, but his eyes remain on the road.

"You'll have to be quick," you tell him.

He laughs lowly, "That's not gonna be an issue here."

You grin and unbutton his pants, pulling the zipper all the way down, then his underwear, just enough to pull him out. He sucks in an uneven breath when you wrap your hand around him, already hard.

"Baby, you don't have to," he tells you, but you just shake your head and manipulate your body, "You really- oh, shit."

You smile around him, knowing this really won't take long at all. He's already halfway there, combined with the way you know his body so well, you're sure he'll be through before you even come close to your parents house.

You take more of him in, pumping what you can't handle, and listen as he groans. His hips buck up, but you're not sure if he even notices.

"Fuck, sweetheart, that's so good," he tells you, "This is so unbelievably sexy. You're so unbelievably sexy. Shit."

You pull off of him, only for a second, then take the tip back into your mouth. The second you hollow your cheeks, he's done for.

"Stay right there. I want it in your mouth," he demands.

You nod around him and let him fill your mouth, pulling back only when you're sure he's through. You give him a peck on the lips and then swallow, letting him watch.

"Oh, that's the sexiest thing I've ever seen," he practically whines.

"That was fun," you grin.

He shakes his head as you sit back in your seat and click your seatbelt back in place, wiping the corners of your mouth with your finger. Rafe sees this out of the corner of his eye and squeezes them shut, only for a second, as he feels himself getting worked up again.

"I am so in love with you," he says, reaching for your hand, "You're the most incredible woman I have ever known."

"Yeah, yeah, all I'm hearing is I give good head," you tease.

He laughs, "You do. Can you put me back in, baby? I don't want to pull up to your parents with my dick out."

You giggle and do as he says, carefully zipping him back up and buttoning his pants. He takes your hand and kisses it as a thank you. The rest of the ride is quiet, giving Rafe five minutes to recover and you five minutes to daydream about what will happen when you get home tonight.

He pulls into the driveway and shuts off the headlights, but turns to you and makes no effort to get out.

"You," kiss, "Are so," kiss, "Fucking," kiss, "Hot." Kiss.

"Says the guy who had me hot and bothered since he came out in this suit," you reply with a smirk.

"Oh, trust me, baby. I'll be returning the favor. Let's go get the rugrat."

[pagesfromthevoid]

Wish I Loved You in the 90s | m.m.

Matt Murdock x fem!reader

Requested: @dark-night-sky-99

Word Count: 1.0k

Warnings: language. Age gap (Matt is 30 something; reader is in her 20s)

Author’s Note: This ended up kinda angsty. I’m sorry if it’s not why you expected it to be 😅

Talk to Me!

Said you’d never lie

But you did it anyway

“Since when does Josie’s have an open mic night?” Foggy asked, leaning on his pool cue as he watched a young woman with a guitar set up on the makeshift stage of the bar. “She’s cute though. Didn’t you date a singer a while ago?”

Matt simply shrugged, lining up his shot. “She’s probably trying to get some extra cash; she always is.” He paused, thinking about her for a moment. “And it wasn’t…kind of but no.”

But something had changed in the air, and Matt missed his shot as he took a deep breath. Apple, honey, champagne. That perfume that he had been drunk off of for the last few weeks flooded his senses, muddying his thoughts for a moment. A sweet voice, a pretty laugh —but too young for him to ruin just because he wanted to. Just because he was tempted.

His attention turned to the stage as he listened closely, focusing on her heartbeat. She was nervous, but unaware that he was there in the room. Though he was sure she’d figured it out soon; it wasn’t a big place. Hearing her whisper to Josie about what she was doing broke his heart suddenly as he remembered what he did to her.

“I can’t do this to you,” he whispered, pressing his forehead against her. “It’s not anything you’ve done. It’s…you’re young. You’re deserve so much more than this.” He pulled away from her, running a hand over his face.

It wasn’t a lie. She did deserve more than him. For more than one reason. She deserved someone who gave her the attention she needed. She deserves someone who didn’t sneak off in the middle of the night, or ignored her calls. Someone who didn’t lie to her.

But she deserved someone her age, without the baggage. Without the trauma. She had such a life ahead of her, between the music and school. He didn’t need to be there to drag her down; because at the end of the day, he knew that’s what would happen.

“But I want you,” she argued, hurt lacing her voice.

“You shouldn’t.”

“You’re the one who said this was so real, I don’t understand —“

“You just…you have to trust me. Please. You’re too young to understand.”

“Matt —“

“You need to leave.”

She pulled her guitar out, sitting up on the bar stool in front of the mic. Foggy was talking to him; telling him what she wore but Matt didn’t need to have her described to him. He knew her voice, and could remember how she felt under his touch. He remembered everything vividly as she tested the mic and took a deep breath.

“Hi,” she announced, voice shaking from nerves. “I’m uh, I’m here to kick off Josie’s first open mic night.” There was an awkward set of clapping, uneven and disinterested really. She shifted uncomfortably. Matt leaned against the pool table. “I wrote this song like two months ago, about a guy who…I think if I was older, he wouldn’t have been such an ass.”

Fuck.

Her guitar strummed gently and the voice he’d grown to love hearing sing to him started, soft and sweet. But the song was anything but.

You said you’d never lie,

But you did it anyway.

How am I supposed to feel

When you said, “It’s so real” to my face?

Taking the words he’d said to her, and throwing them back in his face, Matt felt he deserved it. She was right, and as he listened longer, everything she was saying was true.

I wish I loved you in the nineties,

Cause I know that we would work.

Say wrong place, wrong time, should’ve been alive.

Bet it wouldn’t hurt.

“I don’t know who hurt this girl but damn,” Foggy said, taking a sip of his beer.

Matt didn’t acknowledge the comment, taking a shaky breath as he started to walk towards the stage. Her eyes landed on him, causing both her voice to waver and her heart to pick up. But she kept on, her frustration with him growing as she stared him down. He didn’t need to see her; he could hear it in the scratch in her voice. Feel it in the air as she sang directly to him now.

Wish I loved you in the nineties.

Cause I know that we would work

Say wrong place, wrong time

Bet it wouldn’t hurt.

As the last chords of the song faded into the air, the people of the bar returned their half-assed applause. She stood with her guitar, walking off the stage without a word. Matt followed after her, though he wasn’t sure what he would say. What he would do. He had made it very clear what he claimed he wanted when he left her. She had every right to throw those words back in his face.

“What do you want, Matt?” She asked, looking to him as she placed her guitar back into the case gently.

“I…I liked your song.”

She scoffed, shaking her head. “Yeah, well, I had a hell of a guy to inspire it.”

He looked down, frowning to himself now. “I’m sorry. Truly. I…I wish I could explain why it’s for the best.”

“There’s no need, Matt.”

[newtonsheffield]

Molly, I have so many questions about thank u, next!! Can we see antony doing breakfast with Mary? And patiently answering all her questions. Also also also, can we see kate being introduced to the bridgertons!!

okay thank u next has been a much more popular AU than I anticipated and I have no idea why? Can someone fill me in?

But anyway: Here's Anthony facing the Mary inquisition, and Kate meeting her first Bridgerton.

Anthony was nervous. He'd been nervous the whole time he'd sat in the back of the car, Kate's legs slung casually over his, Daphne's jeans a good two inches short on her legs, her hands in his hair, panic rising in his chest.

"Won't your Mum be a little startled to see you definitely didn't sleep at yours last night?!" Gesturing a little panickedly at the hickeys visible on her neck, trailing down to her chest covered by a shirt clearly not her own.

Kate had hummed, kissing his cheek, "Don't worry, she's not going to ask for compensation for my virginity, she's aware that ship has sailed."

"You are a very unhelpful person, has anyone ever told you that?" Anthony hums sadly, leaning into her touch anyway.

"They have, yes."

And his nerves definitely didn't abate when Mary Sharma whispered, "I have lost of questions for you."

He'd taken the opportunity, while the Sharma's had been arguing in rapid Tamil about something in the kitchen, whether some Auntie or another should be invited to Mary's birthday party he thought. Anthony was sat next to Edwina's girlfriend, a kindly looking woman with twist braids cascading down her shoulders who was looking on a little amused.

"You get used to it." Josie said smiling, a broad welsh accent, "Kate's really great."

"She is, I really really like her." He couldn't even stop himself. "Mrs Sharma, um- Mary she said she has some questions for me. Should I be worried?"

Josie hummed, "That depends... are you a serial killer? Have you ever killed a woman you've dated?"

Anthony's mouth fell open, "What?! No! Of course not!"

"I'm fucking with you, Anthony." Josie chuckled, nudging his arm gently, "Mary Sharma, is the kindest woman I've ever met. I was kind of worried that she might be one of those mum's that says they support you until you actually bring home your girlfriend, but like two weeks later she's got me at her book club, introducing me as Edwina's girlfriend. Happy as anything."

"It's a genuine miracle Josie puts up with you, Edwina." Mary hissed helpfully at that moment, swatting her daughter's hand away from the frying pan with a spatula, "Go and sit down!"

Edwina skulked back to the table with a smirk, "As you can see, Anthony, Kate's the favourite daughter."

"Well with an attitude like that you can see why." Kate hummed, sitting on Anthony's other side, pressing a kiss against his cheek.

"Please, I love you both equally." Mary hummed, kissing both the tops of their heads in such a motherly way, that it caught in Anthony's thought, especially because biologically he knew Kate wasn't her daughter, but he could tell she loved her so desperately.

"If Kate's not your favourite why is there only chocolate milk today?"

Mary rolled her eyes, marching back to the refrigerator, "Because your strawberry milk is on a different shelf! And you never bother to look!' She said brandishing it wildly.

"Love you Mum." Edwina grinned cheekily at her as the entire bottle got dropped unceremoniously on the table in front of her.

Mary hummed, "I'm sorry about the girls Anthony, wild little hellions, this is actually quite tame for them. I did try my best."

And he couldn't stop the smile that came to his face, "It's great, Mrs Sharma."

an hour later, anthony wasn't feeling so great when Mary looked shrewdly at him and then turned to Kate.

"Katie, sweetheart, I wondered if you could go up to the attic for me, It's hard for me to get up there in my old age."

Kate blinked, "You're 48."

"Please, there's a box of Papa's books up there I need."

Kate twitched, "Mary if you want to to talk to Anthony why don't you just say Everyone clear out so I can interrogate Anthony?"

Mary barely blinked, "Right everyone clear out so I can interrogate Anthony."

Kate rolled her eyes, before letting them dart to him, questioning Is this-

"It's fine, I'll see you in a second, go dig out some embarrassing pictures for me to look at."

"On it!" Edwina chirped, darting from the room, tugging Josie and kate with her, and he was alone with the woman she called her mother, but never to her face it seemed.

Mary was giving him a very curious expression, her head tilted, her eyes flicking over his sweater, her head tilted. "You're not what I imagined, when Kate told me she'd met someone."

Anthony's heart stuttered, "Is that a good thing?"

Mary just shrugged, "They were all rather... creative types. You seem a bit more..." Uptight, prim, a grumpy arsehole "polished. And it didn't work out with any of them."

Something settled in Anthony's chest. "I really like your daughter, Mrs. Sharma."

Mary chuckled, "Oh I can see that, I'm not worried about that. And she wouldn't have brought you here if she didn't feel the same."

Anthony's eyebrows shot up, "You've never met any of her exes?"

"No, I have. It's just... this, Sunday mornings, this is family time."

His stomach jolted, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to intrude- she asked me and I-"

Mary waved him off, "I'm glad you're here, if she wants you to be, it's just, different."

Silence settled between them before Mary hummed, narrowing her eyes.

"How old are you Anthony?"

"Twenty nine, Ma'am. I'll be 30 next september."

She nodded, "And you do what for work?"

"My family owns a publishing... conglomerate, I suppose. Aubrey Hall."

Mary's eyes widened, "I see. And you manage it?"

He nodded, "I'm responsible I promise."

"What kind of car do you drive?"

"It's I- have a range Rover, but I haven't driven it in a while, I don't usually, It's difficult to find parking, It's only for when I go to the country."

She smiled, "So not a heinous sports car then."

He flushed, "No, ma'am."

"And your parents are in London?"

"My Mum is yes, my father passed away about a decade ago." It still stung at him.

Mrs Sharma softened, her eyes filled with grief, "I'm very sorry, Anthony. We lost the girls father a few years ago, it's very difficult."

He nodded, "I try my best to look after my siblings and my Mum like he would've done."

"That's very admirable." She smiled gently, "How many siblings do you have?"

"Seven. four sisters, Three brothers."

"Goodness your mother must be a saint, not a day goes by I'm not surprised Kate and Edwina made it to adulthood." She smiled gently, motherly, and Anthony couldn't stop himself from asking.

"Kate was very young when you met Mr Sharma?"

She looked surprised by the question, surprised he knew maybe, he couldn't tell, but the softest smile crossed her face. "I worked in my parents bookstore, and one day the most beautiful little girl marched up to me, with a book tucked under her arm and said You're very pretty, would you like to marry my Papa? And I don't know, I fell in love with them both. She was so easy to love."

Anthony felt it echo in his own chest, "She is definitely that." He cleared his throat, "I know how I must seem to you: A privileged white man, with family money, and people like that, christ some of the people I went to school with even, are exactly what's wrong with this country but I'm a good man, Mrs. Sharma. I look after my family, and I try to make them happy, and I can't even believe she gave me a chance because she's amazing and incredible and I am falling in love with your daughter."

Mrs Sharma blinked back at him for a very long moment with the oddest look on her face before she smiled and said, "You had better call me Mary then, sweetheart."

_____________________

It was risky, Daphne knew, to show up at Anthony's house unannounced on a Friday morning before breakfast even, but she really did need those jeans she'd left there.

She waved to John the doorman, who swiped his keycard and pressed the button, an inconvenient security measure but given the lift opened right into his living room she supposed it was necessary. She let her mind wander, running through the list of things she had to do today, Take simon's tux to the drycleaners, confirm the catering for the party next week, on and on, the lift dart upwards through the building, her fingers drumming on her handbag, sighing to herself as The doors slid open.

She didn't hear it at first, though maybe she should have, the feminine giggle, the masculine chuckle, but it's probably just as well, that'd send her right to therapy.

"Ant! It's just me!" She called out, scooting further into the living room, making her way through to the guest room where she knew she'd left her jeans when she and Simon had stayed the night, their own flat having a burst pipe.

Woof!

Daphne let out a sharp squeak of surprise as a dog scrambled off the sofa, darting to sit in front of her, looking up at her with a curious expression.

"Daff?!" Anthony's voice sounded a little panicked, but she didn't notice, she was too busy trying to process when the fuck Anthony had gotten a corgi.

"Ant! When did you get a-?"

Anthony scrambled through his bedroom door, looking absolutely disheveled his hair standing up in a million different directions, boxer shorts thrown in haphazardly, his cheeks flushed, his neck and chest littered with red marks and bruises and-

"Daff, hey, Daphne, Daphne hi, my sister Daphne is here!"

Daphne's brow furrowed, "why are you being so weird?"

"I'm not being weird. you're being weird." Anthony huffed, his arms crossed over his chest.

"If you're not being weird, who's the dog?"

"That's... not a real dog." Anthony said quickly, as the dog put his paws on her legs, tongue lolling happily an odd noise echoing from the bedroom. Anthony sighing, "Damnit, Newton."

"Daphne frowned, confusion welling in her chest. "Okay, well I just came to get my jeans."

Anthony paled, "You- you can't have them! You left them here they're mine!"

Daphne scoffed, stepping round him, "Yeah okay, Anthony."

"I sold them!" His voice was high, squeaky, just like the time he'd told their mother that he hadn't seen Colin and Ben melting her Barbie doll.

Daphne whipped around, her eyes narrowed, realisation dawning on her with a gasp! "Anthony! You gave them to one of your hook ups didn't you?!"

"She wasn't a hook up!"

Daphne rolled her eyes, "Conquest then. Fucking hell! You've given them to some tart and Now I'll never get them back! And Gucci's stopped making that-"

"Sorry!" A female voice rang out interrupting Daphne, nearly sending her reeling backwards.

A woman had appeared a little behind Anthony, in the doorway of his bedroom, one of his business shirts buttoned over her self, her dark hair in curly disarray, her face striking, even in it's sheepish expression, a gold ring catching the light in her nose, a bright flash of colour against her sternum, as Anthony's hand settled on her waist.

"Sorry, that was my fault. And I think your brother's very gently trying to save my dignity by making it seem like I didn't come to his house and need a new set of clothes to leave in a few days later." She shot Anthony a slightly exasperated expression, before she kissed his cheek, and Daphne watched as Anthony, Anthony who grumbled like a bear woken early from hibernation smiled a little adoringly, tucking the woman closer into his side.

"He's a sweet little cutie."

A cutie?! Daphne was a little horrified.

"Anyway, I put your jeans in to get dry cleaned, they should be done by tonight."

"Sorry, you are?" Daphne couldn't help but wonder who this mystery woman was, that had Anthony wound tightly around her finger.

The woman's eyes widened in surprise, "Oh shit, sorry, I didn't introduce myself. I'm Kate."

Kate? Who was-?

"Kate's my girlfriend, Daff."

Daphne's mouth dropped open in surprise, "Right, well I- Of course, Kate, yes, I've heard so many great things-"

Kate laughed, darting forward to take her offered hand, "No, you haven't. That's alright: I'm 27, I illustrate children's books, I grew up in London, and the dog's name is Newton, and we wear the same size jeans though yours were a bit short."

"I'm really sorry I called you a tart." Daphne said quickly.

Kate laughed again, her head thrown back, but Daphne was barely paying attention, too stuck on the way Anthony was smiling at Kate as though she hung the sun in the sky. "No, it's fine." she poked Anthony's ribs, "and it's not exactly wrong, but I like this one."

Anthony darted down, kissing her forehead, before he cleared his throat, turning towards her, "Do you want breakfast, Daff? Kate'll bring your jeans back tonight."

And when she left Anthony's house 45 minutes later, with new lunch plans for next week there was only one thing to do:

The second the phone connected she was blurting it out. "Mum, did you know Anthony has a girlfriend?!"

"You've met Kate?! She's comign to family dinner tonight apparently."

"Yes, I just went to his place to pick something up and she was there."

her mother scoffed impatiently, "Well, what was she like, what does she look like?"

"She's stunning I wanted to curl in on myself." It was a little true, though Daphne knew she wasn't unattractive, there had just been something about Kate's quiet confidence. " She was witty and funny and kind And she hasn't figured out that she's way too good for him yet, we need to get this girl locked down."

"Daphne your brother is very charming when he-"

"Mum, she called him a cutie."

There was silence on the other end of the phone for a long moment before Violet let out a shuddering gasp, "Right, get round here, we need to plan."

[stonedregulus]

ollie can i have your honest opinion? i’m like 63% sure you know who this is but it seems a lot less scary to ask on anon and less scary than a message (i’m not saying you’re scary. you’re not. you’re really sweet). my brain is just freaking out over it so yeah.

would you recommend uploading stories on anon or with your user on ao3?

none of the things that i’m working on are good enough to go up yet. the perfectionist in me is like nope not ready. so i don’t have to worry about it yet but still. like part of me wants to upload it anonymously because it’ll probably be shit then no one will be able to trace it back to me. but what if it’s just my brain telling me that and it’s actually good. but the other part of me is like if it’s good then maybe i’ll want to be associated with them.

i’m writing this as it’s coming to my brain (kinda feels like a panic attack ngl) so if this sounds jumbled i’m really sorry.

- 💛 sorry for dumping this rambling on you

so the good thing is, you can take your work off anonymous whenever you want. i’ve uploaded both ways. i think there’s pros and cons to each.

if it’s something you’re worried you’re gonna get hate for because people don’t know how to read tags and not read shit that won’t upset them then maybe you wanna start on anon until you see what the reaction is. personally when i started posting fics i just went on my name. then people could find me here and interact with me, and i could share it with my friends on here and it kind of spread that way.

i get what you’re saying about the whole “what if it’s not good and I don’t want it associated with me” but you have to remember like… this is still just a pen name, right? you could sign up with a new pen name tomorrow and no one would have to know it was you. you’re still technically anonymous on the internet as long as you keep personal information to yourself. so it’s not like someone’s gonna come back and say “wow. josie is a real dumb ass for posting that fic let’s never talk to them again” you know what i mean? i’m not saying it’s not nerve wracking. even now on chapter release days i freak out worried everyone is going to hate me, but at the end of the day this is just a pen name and i can walk away and start over as something new if i really want to.

anyways all this to say, if you’re super nervous then start on anonymous and whenever you feel ready you can take it off and reveal yourself 🫶🏻

[stevenbasic]

“Call the police!!” I blurted, finally bursting through Melissa’s door after possibly the most humiliating episode yet in my office…well, uh, top five, for sure. I had just rushed out of my apartment, down the stairs (barely registering the fact that the front doors into the atrium, from the parking lot, had been boarded up) and into the office. I’d stumbled into the waiting room and felt the shocked scrutiny of several of my long-time patients before I realized I was still naked, covered awkwardly only by the thin comforter I’d wrapped myself in earlier when bolting out of bed for Josie. I froze for a second in panic, feeling like this must be a dream, but soon found myself running again, past the front desk and Brittni’s giggles, towards...

“Oh my god sweetie what’s wrong!!” Melissa exclaimed, her eyes going wide with her own alarm as she stood abruptly from her desk, and stepped immediately around it towards me. I saw her eyes take me in, head-to-toe, trying to figure out what was happening, concerned but not nearly as confused as I.

“My CA-r’s gone!!” I cried, voice cracking again in my distress. Standing there barefoot, I had just staggered down several hallways teeming with my employees, new and old, while looking like a crazy man and not saying a word to them, obviously rushing towards Melissa. They had all been goggling at me wide-eyed, and if they’d said anything to me I hadn’t registered it; I was, inexplicably, being pulled by my own acute anxiety to the only person who I felt could help me, figure this out and fix things. My car was gone!!!

“Shh shh shh sweetie I know,” she said, relief having already washed over her face as she reached out her arms for me, still rushing to me where I stood, frozen, office door open behind me and several pairs of curious eyes gazing in at the scene. In a flash she had her arms around my head, and had pulled me in to a bosomy embrace. As my face mashed into her, unceremoniously sandwiched into her cleavage, I heard her whisper above me to someone standing now in the doorway behind me: “Go get a nurse,” Melissa instructed them, “and close the door.”

She was wearing a thinly-ribbed, high-necked sweater of soft, baby-blue. Short sleeves to expose her fit arms but her chest was thankfully covered modestly; still, though; I was immediately consumed by her softness and warmth. One hand was behind my head, the other snaked around my back, holding me fast to her. Once more I’d found myself in an absolutely inappropriate situation, too immediately intimate with my new Office Manager, my employee. But at that moment, in my acutely agitated state, I didn’t care. There was concern, sympathy and strength in her comforting hug, and I needed it. I hadn’t known at the time but I was still recovering from the effects of the treatment. I was a mess!! But…not too far out of it - even as I took my first big breath of her perfume - to realize what I’d just heard Melissa say:

“Wh-what do you mean, ‘you know’??” I asked, voice muffled into the softness of her chest. If she could see my face, she’d see my now-knitted brow.

“It’s been gone since Monday morning,” she explained, tenderly stroking the back of my head, “Sheryl had it taken away.”

My voice cracked a-goddamn-gain “Wh-wh-whATT!!?!!” I cried out, now trying to find the strength to pull away from her - but Melissa was too strong. She held me fast, tighter now, keeping me in place at her big bosom through my struggles.

Sheryl?!?? Sheryl my wife the woman who - aghhh!!! Sheryl had taken my car!?!

“Why?!?” I blurted, into her smothering chest, still struggling, now just half-heartedly, to pull away.

Melissa was intent on holding me until I calmed, and began to try to soothe me. “Shhhhh…shhhh…relax,” she cooed, holding me as I indeed started to quieten, “it’s okay. Take a deep breath…”

“o-okay but…” I was still agitated but I drew it in, a big inhale.

Mmmm ahhhhhh…

…that worked, hhhhmmm….a lungful of the warmth and perfume coming from Melissa’s chest did indeed soothe me, help me start to pull myself together. I took another, and felt my heartbeat start to slow. Another, more even breath, and my eyes fluttered.

“There you go...good boy,” she purred, petting my head in meed, “that’s better. Now, why don’t we go over and sit on the couch, so I can explain…”

Before I knew it - in fact, did I black out for a moment? - I was not only on the couch with her but sitting on her lap. Still wrapped in my comforter, swaddled up, half-reclined across her thighs but supported by her strong arms and looking up at her smiling face. My clenched hands held the blanket closed at my chest, and I’d begun to shudder in the ignominy.

What was wrong with me?? Was I still feeling the effects of my treatment, even into this next morning?? Why was I allowing this to happen?!? And…how did I fit this easy on her lap?!? But, another breath of her perfume - her right breast was just below my nose - and I settled back into passivity. If I allowed myself to forget what was happening, forget that I was still married, forget that Melissa was my employee and more than ten years younger than me, and forget that I was somehow sick with something that had shrunk me to the state where a woman could do this - hold me like a child on her lap…if I allowed myself peace with those things, I’d have been like a pig in shit, held in the comforting embrace of possibly the hottest, most well-built woman alive.

And, despite my consternations, I was partly there.

“Now,” she began, hoisting me up just a bit, settling me more comfortably on her lap, “your car was a company car, right?”

I looked up at her in blurry confusion. Were we still talking about that? I blinked at her, and maybe said something in reply.

“Well, Sheryl decided that - since you’re not an executive anymore, really, with the practice,” she explained, smoothing the blanket around my knees as I reflexively clenched it tighter to my chest, “well, that now you don’t need a company car. You don’t take it on company business, you’re employed just at the office…”

The look of tenderness and pity that washed over Melissa’s face told me everything I needed to know: I had just visibly melted in front of her eyes, there in her arms. It was like she was able to watch my ego shrinking up and collapsing in further upon itself, wrinkling up like an old shoe.

“Oh, shhhh, honey, shhhh…” she consoled me, now stroking my face with tender fingers, “that’s hard to hear, I know…”

‘Hard to hear’?? Oh, god. It was like I was, pants down, being emasculated right in front of her.

“And th-this happened on Monday?” I managed. It was Wednesday, currently. And no one said anything to me?? No one here, not Sheryl…not even a text?

“I guess you hadn’t noticed, huh?” Melissa asked, “You’ve got everything you need right here.”

“no I, uh…” I hadn’t driven, hadn’t had to, since…uhhh…last week sometime? For, oh yeah-!

“Rounds,” I offered, the petulant indignance plain in my voice as my ire rose. The nerve! Sheryl can’t do this! “What about rounds? At the hospital? I have to get there tomorrow morn-”

“We’ve already decided,” Melissa proffered, “one of the front desk girls will take you.”

“But-“

“Shhhh…” she hushed me, finger coming to my lips as she gazed down at me, sternly for a moment before - seeing I’d listened - her smile eased. “We can drive you anywhere you want, me and the other girls,” she volunteered, “we all have cars, we don’t mind, anywhere you need to go.” Her finger, still at my lips, was a temptation; even in my altered state though I knew I should not kiss it.

She booped my nose.

“Shopping, errands, just out for a drive,” she continued, running her finger now down over my lips, over my chin, onto my chest, “We’re all so happy to do it.”

What she was describing was just how dependent I was going to be on these girls. She knew I hadn’t the money for a new car - or even an old one. I couldn’t afford the insurance, the gas. I couldn’t afford taxis. I’d be totally dependent on others for rides.

“And, anyway,” she went on, eyes sparkling in good humor, drumming her fingers on my exposed collarbone, “Why do you need to go anywhere else? You have everything you need right here, we can bring it right to you. It might be nice.” She smiled down at me, enjoying how I was gazing up into her face as I floated in the feminine cloud of her perfume, luxuriated in the strength of her arms. “Did you get your groceries?”

“y-yes, thank you,” I said, meekly. Another thing I likely couldn’t have afforded - food - and she’d provided it for me. In sheepishness my gaze had slipped from hers, and had settled on her tits; her perfume invited it to stay.

“There’s lots of us now,” she reminded me, hand lazily rubbing my thin chest, drifting up to caress my wasted shoulders, “We’ll take care of you. If you really need to go somewhere, we can get you anywhere you need to be.”  Her arm looked so strong, well-muscled and healthy, as she felt my paltry, bony shoulder. Why did she look bigger? Or did I just, in my ignominious position, just feel smaller? “In fact,” she continued, “I think somebody has to take your clothes shopping soon. You’ve lost weight, you’re swimming in your clothes recently.” Her hand came to mine, made to start to pull them and my blanket away from . “In fact, what’s under th-“”

“N-no!” I yelped, clutching the comforter tighter to my chest. I was naked!! I had tried, earlier - when I’d heard the news about my car from Josie - to shoo the girl away, but she insisted on staying to put away my groceries. In my haste and panic, not knowing what to do but feeling I had to get to Melissa, fast, I’d forgone clothes.

“Haha no clothes under there?” she giggled, “And this is so thin, you must be chilly.” She took the edge of the blanket, began to pull it up higher. “Here, get your arms in there…” Dutifully, she helped re-wrap me, slipping my arms under the covers, easing them down my sides until my hands rested on my own hips. She tightened the blanket around me, pinning me in, effectively swaddling me on her lap.

“There you go,” she cooed, her voice taking on a teasing, maternal lilt that made my cock surge, “all snug as a bug in a rug!” Slipping her left arm under my legs, her right still behind my upper back in support, she re-hoisted me, hugging me into her curvy body again, cradling me easily. She smiled proudly down onto me and I remained quiet, any complaints having died on my lips already.

“Now, sweetie, let me tell you a few things about the construction, what’s happening today,” she said, as I enjoyed the soft rise and fall of her chest pressing into my side. When I’d rushed down the stairs earlier I had seen, I remembered now, how the front door to the building had been sealed off in the night. How had I not woken up, with the noise? Yesterday’s treatment - and Shanette - must have really zonked me out. “They’re taking out the front entrance, the whole atrium, knocking it all down, taking out a lot of the upper floor,” she continued, “patients will have to come in our side door near the breakroom. It’s just temporary. A big new entryway will be done within a couple weeks…”

Wait what? The front entrance gone? Taking out parts of the upper floor? What about-

“M-my apartment?” I asked, speaking for the first time in a while, “Is it-“

“Oh, no worries,” she assured me, “Your place will still be there, though they’re sealing off the hallways, taking them down soon too. The stairway will be gone by tonight, so you’ll have to use this…”

At that, Melissa turned at the hip just enough to redirect my gaze to the back corner of her huge office, where - something I somehow hadn’t noticed when I burst in earlier, in my panic - a new, small, spiral staircase of white metal lead up into the ceiling.

“Your place is basically right above this office, and that stair will show right up outside your door. So cool, huh?!” she beamed, obviously proud of this new development, “Now I can really keep a good eye on you!” With that she giggled, and with a jovial shake of my body in her arms, snuggled me closer.

My mouth had already gaped open in shock, and as I began to realize the implications of all this, I found my voice again. “S-s-so…to get to my apartment,” I began, hearing my voice quaver in my building distress, “I have to…to…to come through your office??” I had actually found the strength to make my voice rise, and kept it from cracking. “This is ridiculous!” The effort, though, brought stars to my eyes, and my head swam.

“Oh, shhhh, relax,” Melissa purred, trying to mollify me with another hug, resting her chin on my head, “you’re just feeling cranky, tired after last night. Didn’t Shanette take good care of you?” As my vision cleared, my eyes went back to Melissa’s bosom; I could see her bra through her sweater, and remembered her friend’s attentions yesterday evening. As big and soft as Shanette was, Melissa was that much bigger. “I know, this is all a lot,” she continued, “But, did you see my Insta post? With my kitty? All the comments?”

“y-yes…” I peeped, cowed. She was reminding me of a picture she’d posted a few nights ago, her cat nestled into her hair…and the reaction it had gotten.

“Most men these days would love to be cared for by women like this, given some place to be, safe and warm,” she said, “and that’s the way it’s going to be. Someday I’ll make a whole new nest for you, but for now you can sleep tight knowing we’re all down here, taking care of things. Keeping you upstairs, where we know you're safe.” Her voice had taken on a maternal, gentle tone, become a cradle song, and like a lullaby it was making my eyes heavy. But, the world had begun again to swim around me, and even in her supportive embrace I felt like I was falling. What was happening??

“Are you okay, sweetie?” Melissa asked, concern knitting her brow again, “You look pale.”

“I…I don’t feel very good,“ I managed, becoming more and more woozy. The room, it felt, was falling away from under me, but just then I heard the door open behind me, someone enter.

“Oh, good, Morgan. You’re just in time,” I heard Melissa say, as if from high above me, “Sweetie, Nurse Morgan is here. She’s going to take you to an exam room, check your vitals.”

The thing I recall is Melissa shifting, and then standing, easily, with me in her arms. As I began to pass out, my head lolled towards the other woman, Morgan, who looked even huger than I remembered. She had her arms outstretched, a big smile on her face, and was stepping towards us…

[mister-supernova]

Missed Connection

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4

Pairing: Hope Mikaelson x Reader 

It’s almost been a month since your encounter with the stranger you believed to be from your dreams. Without any luck of seeing her again, you were beginning to think that maybe that’s all she was; just some mere figment of your imagination that you so desperately wanted to have all the answers you needed. 

As insufferably difficult this summer was for you, you still managed to get through it. You thought it was because school wasn’t in session and that you’d be back in your element in no time once classes begin again. 

That was what you had hoped for anyways, but alas even when the halls were filled with your peers and your routine was back in place, nothing seemed to change. The mysterious void in your chest didn’t ease like you wished it would.

You couldn’t help but wonder if your friends had been feeling the same way, too. Surely there’s no chance that you could be alone in this situation, right? 

“You can’t tell me that things haven’t felt a little weird since Landon destroyed Malivore. He doesn’t even know how it happened, Lizzie.” 

The blonde Saltzman nearly whips you in the face with her hair as she abruptly turns to face you in the crowded hallway. “Y/n, we live in a world where witches, werewolves, and vampires exist. Everything in our lives is bound to have a tiny amount of weirdness.”

She made a good point and you knew that, but you also knew that this feeling was different. It had to be. 

Lizzie frowns at the disappointed look on your face and rests a comforting hand on your shoulder, “Look, the most important thing is that Malivore is gone. No more bizarre monsters coming to kill us every week. Now try to stop overthinking things and let’s get through this school year in peace.”  

Before you knew it, your conversation ended just as quickly as it started and Lizzie was on her way back to class. You hang your head with a defeated sigh, desperately searching the hallway for someone who may be just as lost as you were. Instead, you see everyone going about their first day back like normal. 

Students who were away with their families are now smiling brightly as they reunite with friends. Other groups of friends laugh at a joke another says as they pass you by and you wonder if there was someone you should be doing that with.

The clarity that you sought out today only made you more confused than ever. At this point you wished that it was still summer vacation because seeing your classmates having a great first day back had you thinking that you really were alone with your feelings.  

Maybe you just needed a day to hang out with your friends after class today. They may not share your thoughts on how odd things have felt recently, but being around them definitely helps clear your head. 

“I’m sorry, Y/n. You know Landon and I would be down to watch a movie or something, but we’re going on our official first date today.” Josie tells you, disheartened. 

After the multitude of movie dates the two of them shared throughout the summer, you’re surprised that none of those had been labeled as dates, but you weren’t going to tell her that outloud. The two of them seem to be really happy to be spending so much time together and you weren’t going to get in the middle and be the third wheel no one wants, especially on a first date. 

“No worries, Jo. I’ll ask Lizzie and MG if they’re free.” She gives you a gentle squeeze on your arm with a sympathetic smile before you go off to find her sister. 

Things didn’t seem to be going to plan here either.

“If I hadn’t already agreed to this stupid- I mean,” she grits her teeth with a forced smile, “very cool study date with MG I’d totally hang out with you. God knows I’d rather do anything else.” You knew you weren’t supposed to hear that last part, but Lizzie was always awful at lowering her voice. 

If you weren’t already feeling distraught, this definitely was the cherry on top of your depressing cake of sadness. 

Instead of showing Lizzie that, you plastered the fakest smile you could and responded with, “Don’t worry about it. I’ll just… hang out downtown and get myself a milkshake at the Grill or something.” 

Plan “get your friends to distract you from the abrasive thoughts penetrating your brain” had failed, but you weren’t going to let it stop you from at least getting out of the school for a couple of hours. With everyone so busy while classes are back in session, it made you wonder what in the world you did after school before this year. 

As much as you tried hyping up how fun it was going to be hanging out downtown by yourself, it only made you feel even more bummed out. Like everything else you’ve been doing since the night Malivore was destroyed, something felt off and nothing seemed to be your remedy.

Minutes turned to hours and you ended up drinking four full glasses of cookies and cream milkshakes at the Grill, literally falling into a sugar coma at your table outside. The sun was barely setting when you got here, but then it was fully dark out when you were woken up from your sugar rush nap. 

“Jesus, Y/n. I thought you were dead or something.” You lean your head upwards to see that it was Landon who woke you from your slumber. 

“One could not be so lucky, phoenix boy.” You groggily respond, stretching out your muscles and wiping any drool from your cheeks.

Looking at your surroundings, you notice that Josie isn’t around. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be on a date?” 

There’s a pained look on Landon’s face at your question, “Yeah, about that… she, uh, she said she wasn’t feeling too good and decided to go back to the school.” 

You raise an eyebrow at him, “What, did you take her to eat sushi or something?” 

That was meant to be a joke, but the look of realization on the curly-haired boy’s face told you all you needed to know. 

“You went to a sushi place.” 

Landon quickly slides into the seat across from yours, “It’s what I suggested. W-Was I not supposed to?”  

“Jo can’t digest any sort of raw food without wanting to convulse. I learned that the hard way when I first started going to the Salvatore school,” you shiver at the memory, “Never again.” 

The phoenix begins falling into a full state of panic, “Oh my God. I didn’t know that! Wh-What am I supposed to do? What if I completely ruined everything? What if she never wants to go on another date with me again? What if-” 

Your patience was thinning very quickly, “Landon, just relax. Take a breather for a second,” you inhale, watching him do the same, and breathe out at the same time, “Go back to the school, check up on her, have a convo about getting some better communication skills and I’m sure everything will be fine.” 

Landon nods, “Okay, okay yeah. That’s good. I’ll, uh, I’ll do that,” he continues to sit across from you until you look at him expectantly, “Do I do that now?”

“For your sake, Josie’s, and especially mine, yes. Now would be great, buddy.” 

“Right, okay. Thanks, Y/n!” He scrambles out of his seat and begins to shuffle away from the Grill. 

“Go get ‘em, Tiger!” You shout with as much enthusiasm you could muster before slumping back into your chair. 

Still dazed from the sugar rush nap and exhausted from that conversation, you lean forward with your elbows on the table and begin wiping the sleep from your eyes using the palms of your hands.

“This is gonna be one hell of a year.”  

“Long day, huh?” You recognize that it’s a girl’s voice you’re hearing, but not one that was familiar to you. 

Moving your hands away from blocking your view, you look up to see the person you convinced yourself was just a figment of your imagination. The long auburn colored hair, fair-skinned, blue eyed girl from your dreams was standing right before you. For a moment, you thought that maybe you really had lost it. 

“Sorry. I just, I saw you sitting here earlier and thought you might want company.”

You’re almost positive that you were staring at her with your mouth hanging open like an absolute idiot. Just say something, dumbass!

“Mind if I join you?” She asks, gesturing towards the now empty chair that Landon left behind. 

“Yes!” 

Idiot! 

“I mean no! No, I uh, I don’t mind.” You chuckle nervously, adjusting yourself in every way possible to hide the fact that you were internally freaking out.

The girl gives you a patient smile before taking the seat in front of you, “So, party of one tonight, huh? I mean, I saw you finish talking to someone right now, but it didn’t seem you two were here together.” 

“Yeah, no. Not together at all or with anyone really,” for some reason you had to make this very clear to her, “That was just a friend of mine who’s having some lady troubles, so I decided to be a good samaritan and give him some positive advice.”

“How chivalrous of you.” Right away you could tell that she was teasing and the nerves you had seconds ago simply began to vanish. 

“Why thank you,” you smile, feeling a wave of warmth when she returns one back, “But yeah, it’s just been me, myself, and I for the night… and day… and probably for the rest of the school year if I’m honest.”

Her smile fades and she tilts her head inquisitively, “What makes you say that?” 

Oh, where to begin. 

“I’ve been asking myself that for a while now actually. Everything should feel perfect given the fact that I have these amazing friends, I go to this incredible school, I’m 100% healthy and not dying of anything that I know of,” you shrug at yourself, “I should be happy with that, but I’m not. It feels so selfish of me to say and I wish I could fix it, but I can’t. How can everything be so close to perfect, but yet there’s still something wrong?” 

The girl stares at you with such empathy and sadness in her eyes that you could swear she was holding something back. 

You continue, “Things also haven’t felt normal lately. My definition of normal anyways. For some reason everything has felt completely off, like I’m missing something. You know when you forget that there’s somewhere you’re supposed to be? Like an event and you don’t realize you’ve forgotten about it until the day of and you say to yourself, ‘oh shit, I can’t believe I forgot about this really important thing’. That’s how I’ve felt ever since summer started,” you notice her tense up slightly, but you continue, “but I can’t remember what I’m forgetting.”

At this point, you were surprised this girl didn’t think you were crazy and start running for the hills. If this were any normal stranger, you wouldn’t feel comfortable enough to overshare the thoughts you’ve been keeping secret from your close friends. For some reason, she made you feel the complete opposite. Strangely enough--given the world you live in--you felt safe with her.

“Everyone at school is making me feel like I’m the only person who feels this way. Everyone else can go back to normal. Everyone else can move on and go on dates and study dates and hang out with their friends and go to class without feeling lost and overall just be… normal.” You finally let go of the breath you had been holding in for what feels like months.

Then you start to laugh at the ridiculousness that just spewed out of your mouth, “Jesus Christ. I’m so sorry. You probably thought you were going to have an innocent ‘nice weather we’re having’ type of conversation, but instead you got a stranger dumping their whole life crisis onto you.” 

“You really don’t have to apologize. Trust me, I understand how insanely messed up life can get and how relieving it is to just vent it all out,” she gives you a reassuring nod with a genuine look of understanding that you’ve been wanting to see for months, “Even if it’s to someone who can potentially be a serial killer.” 

The both of you burst out into a fit of laughs and you swear that you’ve never felt so connected to a person you just met. It was as if your souls had met in another life and were catching up for the first time in a while. Neither of you had a name to place with your faces, but that didn’t seem matter because you already felt like you’ve known this girl for years. 

“I’ve had quite a rough couple of months myself. Not sure if I’d binge drink four cookies and cream milkshakes to numb the pain though.” 

You shrug, “Well, it’s better than the latter option that I can’t even legally purchase because I’m underage. Plus, it helps that these are the best milkshakes in town--even if they are 4 dollars a glass.” 

Now you’re hoping that your old co-worker can cover your bill since you only brought ten dollars with you tonight. Before you could reach for your wallet just to be sure, another thought crossed your mind. 

“Wait. How did you know they were cookies and cream? I know it’s a lot of milk to force inside by body, but I normally leave no trace of evidence behind. Are you a witch or something?” That last part was obviously a joke otherwise she’d be at your school by now.

The girl opens her mouth to speak, but it takes her a moment to come up with an explanation, “It was my best friend’s favorite. Yeah, we used to go out for milkshakes all the time and I guess something about you reminds me of them.” 

You smile, flattered, “Well, might I say, your best friend has amazing taste,” she purses her lips into a tightened smile and lowers her gaze, almost as is the memories of this said ‘best friend’ pained her to think about, “I’m assuming things aren’t so great with them right now?”

She sighs at the thought, “We were close for a long time. I’m actually surprised that they stayed as long as they did. I probably gave them a million reasons to bail, but they were annoyingly persistent,” she chuckles, “I’ll admit, it took me a while to settle into our friendship, but the moment I did was something I would never regret. From that point on the only thing that could separate us was death.” 

Judging by her heavy use of past tense words, you could only think the worst happened, “Did they, you know, um…?” You didn’t want to ask the full question seeing that she was clearly still hurt by the absence of this person. 

She shakes her head, “No. No, it turned out death wasn’t the only factor that was able to keep us apart. We meant a lot to each other and later realized that there was more to us than just friendship. Eventually, things started becoming serious but me being the person I am, I pushed them away and left.”

“Have you tried reaching out to them again?” You thought that there was no way two people who felt those intense feelings could completely forget about each other.

“Once, but things changed. They took one look at me and acted as if I never existed.” Maybe it was the empath in you, but it broke your heart seeing a small pool of tears building up in her eyes. You wished that you could say something to make her feel better and tell her that everything will be okay, but how could you when you don’t know her?

She quickly wipes the tears before they could fall and takes in a deep breath that you instinctively mirrored to compose yourselves. 

“I guess it’s my turn to say sorry, huh? I feel like my baggage was a little heavier than yours there,” she sniffs, huffing out a light chuckle. 

“Well, if we’re giving out medals here, you’ve got the gold. That’s for sure,” you grin, hoping to lighten up the mood.

Her laugh--that you could tell was genuine--gave you the assurance you needed. 

“I feel like I should give you a hug. I mean, if you’re cool with that,” you suggest, ready to push yourself out of your seat, “Because I could kind of use one and I’m just assuming--” 

“That would be great, yeah,” the girl nods with a relieved smile. 

“Alright, great.”

The two of you stand, moving around the table to meet each other in the middle. Her head seemed to fit perfectly against your chest as her arms pressed behind your back. All of the weight that had been piling up on your shoulders began to fall at your feet and the tension from stress that built up inside your chest began fading away. How this could happen from an interaction with a complete stranger, you had absolutely no idea. 

“Is it weird if I say this doesn’t feel weird?” You ask with the side of your head leaned against hers. 

“Well, I think things are only weird when someone makes it weird.” 

You pause for a moment, “Do you think this feels weird?”

She laughs and you know for a fact that she could hear your heart skip a beat, “No. I don’t.”

You fight the goofy grin from appearing on your face, but fail miserably, “Okay, good.” 

Part of you was afraid of what’ll happen the moment you separate. You had no idea when would be the next time you see this girl or if there was going to be a next time. This was the first day in a while when you didn’t feel lost, instead you felt that this was exactly where you needed to be. You felt normal.

Before you could actually start making things weird, you begin to pull away from her embrace, “Well, tonight I learned that I can click with a stranger within a span of ten minutes give or take, so thank you for that.”

She smiles, “Thank you, too.”

“I think it’s safe to say that we’re at the point of learning each other’s names now.” 

“Yes, because why start with those when we could just tell our whole life stories and share an intimate hug first?”

“Exactly! Actually, you know what? I think we should get married in Vegas really quick and we’ll just figure out our names during the vows section of the wedding ceremony. Whatever we come up with in the moment will just be how we refer to each other for the rest of our lives,” you joke. 

“You’re absolutely right.” Wow, a girl who can keep up with your sarcasm without thinking you’re a complete--huge emphasis on complete--idiot? She is the girl of your dreams--literally and metaphorically. 

You stared down at her in wonder, hoping to God that you’re not dreaming and that this interaction has been real, “It’s, uh, it’s Y/n by the way. My name. Y/n L/n.” 

“Hope. Hope Marshall,” she reveals and a victorious smile appears on your lips when you finally have a name to match a face. 

Your smile quickly drops when the clock tower starts going off and you realize that it’s nearly midnight, “Well, it’s been a pleasure meeting you tonight, Hope. I'm sorry to cut the rest of the evening short, but my school just got a new headmaster and unfortunately he’s a lot more strict on our curfew than our previous one. Don’t want to turn into a pumpkin, you know?” 

She chuckles, “No worries at all. It was nice meeting you, too, Y/n,” Hope smiles and you can tell that she didn’t want to leave. If you were being honest, you really didn’t want to either. 

Neither of you could find the energy to be the first person to walk away. To do that would be like trying to separate two annoyingly strong and stubborn magnets apart.

As much as you wanted to spend the whole night learning more about each other, you also didn’t want to be put in detention on the first day back at school. 

Unwillingly, you take the first step backwards without wanting to fully turn away from your newfound acquaintance, “Thanks again for the chat. I hope to see you again very soon, Marshall.”  

Hope rolls her eyes, but can’t contain a smile, “Only if you’re lucky.”

“I think I like my chances,” you wink playfully before turning your heel to make your way back to the school feeling the most energized you’ve felt in a long time.

~

apologies for the later update than usual with this series and I apologize in advance if it takes a while for part 6 to be posted. I’m in a bit of a writing funk right now and my mind is currently locked onto the Wilds soooo there may or may not be imagines for that fandom coming from me soon. anyways, happy late 2021 and here’s to hoping this year isn’t complete shit! much love y’all

taglist: @chicken-wang09​ @trikruismybitch​ @sodangtired​

[jord-w-bush]

Turn off the Dark: Chapter 5

I am so sorry. I have had serious writer's block. This chapter has been done for a while, but I don't want to post a chapter if the next one isn't finished. Anyway, here's chapter 5. As always, message me if you want to be added to the tag list. You guys are amazing.

*Boring disclaimer here*

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Peter wasn’t sure what he wanted to say. After he had finished telling his Aunt May what had happened between he and Josie all those years ago, she had encouraged him to try and make amends.

“Sweetheart, this isn’t something that can’t be fixed. You were kids. As kids we do stupid things that we regret. I know you and I know Josie. She wouldn’t just throw you out into the street. If this is something you want to make right, you can. And I know that she will hear you. Go over there now, before you lose the drive.” She had lightly shoved him toward the front door, and before he lost his nerve, he made the short walk back over to the Butler house.

And that’s how he had found himself, speechless and snuggled up under a blanket with his ex-best friend. She was looking at him expectantly, and he shrugged his shoulder.

“I have a lot to say, and at the same time, I have no words,” Peter started carefully. He had been trying since the moment Josie had walked away from him all those years ago to figure out a way to explain his behavior, without revealing he was Spider-Man.

“I’m sorry. That should come first. I know that I’ve said it to you a million times, but I am. I am so sorry for the way that I let our friendship, the way that I let you, slip through my fingers. It’s not an excuse for why I said what I said, or what I did what I did, but I was overwhelmed. I had still not really processed Uncle Ben dying, and then Captain Stacy. Gwen and I were getting kind of serious, and it was hard for me to balance a healthy relationship, high school, and still be the best friend I had always been for you.”

Peter remembered how he had felt after their “break-up” for a lack of a better term. Any time he saw Josie at school, he felt waves of guilt and sadness. He had done what he thought was best to protect her, but in doing so, he had just hurt her. He knew her well enough to know that even though she was smiling and chatting with people in the halls or in their classes, she wasn’t the same. She was absolutely heartbroken. Their bedroom windows had faced each other, which had made for some mischievous plans when they were growing up, and with his “spidey senses” he had been able to hear her crying for a few weeks after he had said what he did to her. It tore him up inside.

“I didn’t know how to handle myself. I was scared of losing you to all your fancy dreams, and that eventually you’d get tired of me trying to figure out the balance on my own, and that you’d get rid of me. So I guess I did it proactively? Which was wrong of me, and I know that now. I knew the minute those words left my mouth. But I was embarrassed and confused and young and stupid. So so stupid, Josie.” He grabbed her hand from where it was resting in her lap and held it between both of his. “If you still have it in your heart to forgive me, I promise to spend as long as I need to to prove to you that I am sorry. You’re my best friend, and I can’t keep doing life without you. And I can’t bare the thought of not sharing in your success and cheering you on in the front row anymore.”

Josie was stunned, to say the least. She hadn’t expected him to say what he had. And with such conviction and sincerity no less. She had been trying to convince herself for a while that she was over the hurt he had caused her, and that she had moved on. But she knew that those wounds had never truly healed. She missed him too. She hadn’t really put much effort into making new true friends that she trusted, since she knew none of them would compare to Peter. But she was still hesitant. He had hurt her. And he knew it. There was a part of her that was scared he’d do it again. So that’s what she told him.

“Peter, how can I trust you? How do I know you’re not just feeling guilty now, and that you won’t just drop off the face of the earth again in like a week?” She asked him, pulling her hand from his grasp.

He shook his head quickly. So quickly Josie was worried he’d give himself whiplash. “Josie, I swear, I mean it. From the bottom of my silly, sorry, desperate heart.”

Josie looked deep into his eyes and knew he meant what he said. She was hit with a feeling she had never really felt when regarding Peter Parker. She pushed it to the back of her mind quicker than it appeared. That’s something to sort out another time, she thought to herself. He smiled softly at her, and after a moment, a grin grew on her face.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” He asked, to be sure that he had heard her right.

“Okay. But, we have to reinstate Pizza Friday. This is non-negotiable.” Josie laughed lightly. Once the pair had been allowed to walk to school on their own, they would always stop at a little pizza parlor on their way home every Friday. They’d split a large pepperoni pizza and a soda, and work on homework and talk about everything and nothing. It was a tradition that had continued almost every week from sixth grade until their senior year.

“Yeah, yeah! I can do Pizza Fridays. That’s something I could definitely do!” Peter laughed happily and slung his arm around Josie’s shoulder’s lightly. “Although, now that you live in the Bronx, we’ll have to find a new pizza place. I’ve been to that place down the street from your apartment, and it’s garbage.”

Josie chuckled, but then quickly realized what he had said, “Wait a minute, how do you know I have a pizza place by my apartment? You’ve never been there.”

Peter froze. He had never been there as Peter Parker sure. But he probably trailed Josie there as Spider-Man a dozen times since she had moved in, and had even stopped in to the family owned pizza shop during his nightly rounds. Hey, superheroes got hungry too!

“Uh, no yeah I know, I uh… I think your dad mentioned it once. I went there while I was out in the field taking pictures, and he told me that it was near your place. Yeah, that’s it I think.” Peter floundered for some kind of response that didn’t make him seem creepy or crazy. Josie narrowed her eyes at his response and said nothing. There was no point in going too deep too fast.

“Oh, yeah that makes sense,” she said instead, but it was clear between the pair that that topic was not dealt with honestly.

The two sat in a slightly awkward silence for a few minutes, simply stewing in the conversation that had just transpired. After a few minutes, Peter cleared his throat and looked down at his watch.

“Oh gosh, it’s getting pretty late, huh? I don’t want to keep you up, I’m sure you’ve had a long day. Besides, your mom has been watching us from inside this whole time, and I’m sure she won’t let you go to bed until you’ve told her everything.” The pair laughed loudly at that. Josie smiled at Peter. It was like a heavy weight was already lifted off her shoulders. Everything had always been easy with Peter. Maybe it could be like that again.

Josie turned around slightly, and sure enough, she caught her mother ducking away from the back window. She chuckled to herself, “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea. She’s gonna ask me a million and one questions about all this, and that’s going to take a solid hour.”

The two stood up from the swing and Peter immediately wrapped Josie into a tight hug. She reciprocated with equal energy. He pulled away slightly and looked down at her. “Can I walk you home tomorrow? It’s totally okay if not. I’d just like to catch up on the past three years of your life. I’m sure there is a lot I missed.” She nodded at him enthusiastically before pulling away completely.

“Sure! I’d like that. I was planning on leaving here around 11 and going over to your place anyway to talk to your Aunt about my show…as you know” Josie tucked a piece of hair behind her ear in embarrassment, remembering her dramatic outburst at dinner. “We could leave from there?”

Peter nodded and headed toward the Butler’s small backyard. When they were kids, the pair had constructed a small staircase on both sides of the fence, so it was easier for them to access each other’s backyards. He planned on going back to his house that way, so he could easily disappear from Josie’s view and start his evening rounds. Before he got very far, Josie wrapped her fingers around his wrist, effectively stopping him in his tracks.

“Peter,” Josie began, hesitating slightly at the familiar sensation running through her body at the gesture. She chalked it up to nothing and shook it off, “I missed you.” She said simply before allowing him the freedom to continue down the stairs.

He smiled widely at her, and was gone.

Josie took a moment to recenter herself, before turning back toward her house. She smiled at her mom, who guilty avoided eye contact with her. Hopefully she caught most of that through her eavesdropping, Josie thought, I’d really like to go to bed.

Taglist: @judoon-on-da-moon @amazingspiderfield @onewithtoast @queenc-x @akilee @saroo-hawks

[druidgroves]

the night before jo leaves for california

campaign: ihunt notes: the first in a series of things i’ve written about my pc from the ihunt game im in! pre-game, she was living with her shitty, emotionally abusive boyfriend. this is right before she left to move in with him before he showed his true colors.

* this is a repost from my old blog *

Standing in the middle of packed suitcases and boxes her parents will ship after they drop her off at the airport tomorrow, there’s a knock on eighteen year old Jo’s door.

It’s the soft, hesitant knock of Sam, her little brother who had been a bundle of nerves since the moment he was born.

“You can come in, Sammy,” she says, folding another pair of jeans and placing them in a suitcase.

The door cracks open, Sam’s dark head of hair peeking through the gap before he enters fully. He’s got on spider-man pajama pants and an old school t-shirt—given the time, he should be in bed already, but summer vacation wasn’t technically over yet. Still, school would be starting for him in about two weeks time and he really should have been trying to fix his sleep schedule.

He walks in and finds a place to sit on his sister’s bed that isn’t blocked by her boxes of stuff labeled Take, Donate, Trash. He looks like something’s weighing on him, so Jo closes the suitcase she’s in front of and moves some stuff off the bed to sit next to him.

“Somethin’ on your mind, bud?” she asks, putting an arm around his shoulders and pulling him close for a second. He leans into the one-armed hug, wrapping his arms around her waist and squeezing her tight.

“Do you have to move to California?” he mumbles into her shoulder.

A little laugh escapes her as she starts running her fingers through his hair. Eleven years old and she had been his closest companion since he could crawl. He was going to miss her.

“Kinda, yeah,” she says, “Zach’s already paid for my ticket and my online classes for UCSJ will start soon. The ball’s already rolling.”

Sam sighs, taking his arms away and flopping backwards onto her bed. He wiggles for a moment, pulling something out from under him; an old stuffed bear, well-loved from years of playing and napping. He places it on his chest and hugs it.

“I don’t want you to go,” he says quietly, running the bear’s matted fur between his fingers.

Jo looks back at him, biting the inside of her cheek and hating how sad he sounds. It breaks her heart a little, if she’s being honest.

“I know you don’t want me to. But how about this,” she says finally, “I’ll come back for Christmas and New Years, for Spring Break, your birthday. Zach can come, too.”

“He doesn’t have to come,” he says under his breath and Jo gently pushes his knee.

“Be nice. Why don’t you like him, anyways? He’s been nothing but polite in the times you met him,” she says.

“I heard Mom and Dad say they didn’t want you to go either, but they know they can’t stop you. They don’t seem to like him either.”

Jo rolls her eyes, “I know Mama’s got her worries and Dad wasn’t too impressed with him, but I asked why you don’t like him.”

Sam’s gaze falls away from her’s, saying, “I don’t know how to explain it…He just…Doesn’t feel right.”

“‘Doesn’t feel right’? What does that even mean?” she asks, amused.

“Dunno. He just doesn’t feel right,” he repeats with a shrug. He pulls the bear tighter to his chest.

“Well, until you can figure out exactly what that means, unfortunately I still have to get on a plane tomorrow,” she tells him.

“You could just miss it. Tell him the airport exploded or somethin’.”

Jo laughs, “I’m sure he’d find that hilarious—“

From inside her pocket, her phone chimes. She pulls it out, a text from Zach on the screen.

hey josie cant make it 2 the airport tmrw 2 pick u up but I can pay for ur uber or smth sry

She frowns, fingers hovering to reply but deciding against it.

“See what I mean?” Sam’s voice says from her shoulder, suddenly sitting up again and looking down at her phone.

“Alright, snoop,” she says while sticking out her tongue, “It’s rude to read other people’s messages, you know. He probably got called into work or somethin’.”

“Yeah, probably,” Sam replies dismissively, squeezing one of the bear’s arms.

She frowns again. Was leaving to the other side of the country really such a bad idea? She’d be leaving behind everything she’d ever known—trading chicken houses and wheat fields for desert landscapes and concrete jungles. A culture shock for sure, but how else would she ever be able to leave if not take this chance?

Jo turns to face him fully, crossing her legs on the bed and motioning for Sam to do the same. He puts the bear in his lap as she takes his hands in her’s and squeezes.

“I’m not leaving forever, bud. Like I said, I’ll visit, I’ll call, I’ll video chat,” she tells him seriously, “Maybe you can come visit, too.”

“You promise you won’t be gone forever?” he asks just as seriously.

She nods, looping her pinky finger with his, “Pinky promise.”

Sam takes a breath, then nods, “Pinky promise.”

She lets go of his hands and musses up his hair, “You can keep that bear if you want. Something to remind you of me while I’m gone.”

“What’s its name?”

“I dunno. It’s yours now, you get to name it.”

Sam’s face scrunches up as he thinks for a second, before he says, “I’ll have to get back to you on that one.”

Jo can’t help but laugh and Sam can’t help but laugh along with her.

“C’mon,” she says,” You can help me finish packing.”

[cakesunflower]

Who’s Gonna Love You Like Me? [Brother’s Best Friend!Calum AU] Part 1

A/N: the title is STUPID long. like a whole ass mouthful. but it is what it is. before y’all dive in, i just wanna say that this fic would NOT be possible without @bigheadbabybitch (it’s not letting me tag her bc tumblr is a whore) but god DAMN without her, this fic would not be what it is. every scene is planned with her and made better with her. i’m very lucky to be working with this on her.

Josie’s Face Claim here!

so, without further ado, here’s part 1 of my new brother’s best friend!Cal fic!!

She never experienced feeling the weight of someone’s eyes on her until this moment.

It wasn’t like Josie didn’t want to return his gaze—she just couldn’t, not if she wanted to freeze where she stood. She could feel his intense gaze on her the moment he had walked into her older brother’s house. What she had expected to be a celebration turned into an internal prison as she found herself contemplating what exactly he was thinking about. The way he had been looking at her. . . She didn’t think either of them knew just how much power he held over her. So Josie pretended to be oblivious, acted as though his stare wasn’t burning right through her skin as she talked to friends of her brother’s she was only vaguely familiar with. She had a good excuse, too; after all, Luke had thrown this party to welcome her to California, had been a good older—by three years—brother and opened his home to her so she had a place to stay right after graduating college while looking for one of her own. And nothing said welcome like a good house party. At least, according to Luke Hemmings, anyway.

A soft smile played on her lips as she nursed her drink, thinking of her brother’s welcoming arms. The warm welcome she received was one that calmed her nerves, at first feeling like she was intruding when she moved into Luke’s home, despite his encouragement. Her brother wanted her to move in with him, and yet there was still a small part of Josie that had felt as though she was encroaching on his space. But it came with the territory of being labeled as the little sister among the inseparable group of her brother and his best friends, always feeling as though she was pushing herself into their friend group, even if her company was welcomed.

Eventually, she finished her drink and was in need of more, excusing herself from the group she was chatting with before making her way to the kitchen. Luke’s house was one she loved, proud of her brother for doing so well for himself, starting off as an accountant by using the math skills their mom instilled in them before rising to the top. High ceilings and lots of windows with a view of the trees and hills of the Valley, and an open space that was so much better than the cramped dorm room she’d been living in for too long. Her brother’s spacious home was definitely an upgrade. Josie knew she’d enjoy living in a space where she wouldn’t have to stack her belongings on top of one another, now having room to spread out comfortably.

Too busy admiring her new—albeit temporary—home and pouring herself another drink, Josie had become unaware of who she’d moved towards until the familiar voice spoke up nonchalantly, “You look like you’re fittin’ right in.”

Josie put down the bottle of Coke, biting the inside of her lower lip as she raised her head to finally meet the gaze she had been avoiding. His voice was unmistakable, eyes sharp as always as she schooled her expression into one of ease right when she looked at him. She went from chewing on her lower lip to biting the tip of her tongue to focus on the sting rather than the quickening of her heart. Her skin felt warm, frustration flushing her for not being able to slow her heart rate. Still, Josie offered a smile, the perfect combination of friendly and smug even if the latter felt incredibly made up. “’Course—it helps that I’m really likable.”

Calum sucked in his teeth, giving a brief, semi-accepting tilt of his head. One hand shoved into the pocket of his leather jacket, he was gave her a once over before responding, “Depends on who you ask.” His words were followed by a sip of his beer, but Josie could make out the smirking curl of his lips from around the mouth of the bottle.

Despite the bass of the music thrumming deep in her chest, and the nerves she wished would subside because it was ridiculous to even feel so, Josie offered a smile and rested her hip against the counter she was near. She faced him as he stood a few feet away, left arm braced on the counter as the chain bracelet glimmered against the hanging light above the center counter. He looked good, Josie wasn’t afraid to admit that. To herself, anyway.

With a single shouldered shrug, Josie smiled knowingly and raised an eyebrow at Calum. “I’m asking you.” A risk, those words falling past her lips, but she couldn’t take them back. Nor the implication behind them. But Josie was trying to learn not to be regretful of things, standing by decisions she made. 

There was a subtle shift in his features, lips parting to lick his lower lip. Calum looked almost impressed, if not a bit startled, at Josie’s words, and she didn’t quite blame him. She watched something flash in his dark eyes, eyebrows lowering as a bit of a warning, silently telling her she was wandering into territory she shouldn’t be. Not that she had to be told that. The hitch in her throat was a sign enough.

Before Calum could respond, however, a sudden weight of an arm settled around Josie’s shoulders, a soft yet startled gasp escaping her as her six-foot-four brother playfully hung off her shorter frame. “Do you love your party or what?”

Josie tore her gaze away from the dark haired man across from her to grin up at her brother, whom she could tell was already well on his way to getting drunk. His cheeks were flushed, pushed up to show off his dimpled grin, eyes glazing over. A chuckle equal parts forced and amused escaped Josie, his presence tightening the knots in her stomach, as she wrapped her free arm around his waist. “Of course,” she answered. “I’m feeling all the love.”

Luke grinned, clearly satisfied with her answer. “Good,” he declared, wrapping his other arm around her as well, keeping her close. Josie could feel Calum’s eyes on them but she didn’t look back at him, letting her brother hug her as he continued, “You were too far away at Davis. ’m glad you’re here now.”

His words widened Josie’s smile, a happy warmth flushing her skin. Despite sometimes inserting herself in Luke’s friend group when they were kids, her brother never made her feel as though she was just tagging along or that she wasn’t welcomed to join. Being so close in age, Luke was Josie’s first best friend—honestly, he had a higher friendship role than any best friend she’s had—and she was easily closer to him than she was to her other two older brothers, Jack and Ben. Don’t get it wrong, Josie loved all of her brothers. But if she had to pick a favorite, it would be Luke.

Which was why Calum’s gaze on them felt so heavy, like it was weighing her down, slowly squeezing the air out of her lungs. Luke’s hug felt warm for all of the wrong reasons as Calum watched them, and Josie forced herself to look up, for her blue eyed gaze to meet his brown. His stare was intense as ever, looking right through her, and despite the neutrality of his features, Josie picked up on the look in his eye. She saw the reluctance that swam in them, a hint of panic he was doing a good job in hiding from those who wouldn’t expect to see it there. But Josie knew; she knew to look for it, knew it was probably present because she could feel it knotting her insides, too.

It was a kind of emptiness in her chest that allowed for the bass of the music playing in the house to settle too deeply, wondering if Calum felt it too as he tore his gaze away from them and took a long sip of his drink. Did he feel guilt, too? 

She hoped he didn’t regret it because she sure as hell didn’t. But that didn’t mean there wasn’t any room for the guilt to take up residence. Not when her brother was holding her so tightly, so happily, rambling on about how excited he was for her to be living with him. Oblivious to the tension his presence only intensified between his best friend and sister.

“It’ll be just like old times, right, Cal?” Luke’s voice pulled Josie out of her thoughts, swallowing the lump in her throat as Calum looked at them once more. The song playing through the speakers changed to an unfamiliar R&B type that Josie thought was more Calum’s style than her brother’s. 

A wry expression briefly twisted Calum’s features, a subtle quirk of his eyebrows and purse of his lips as his eyes met hers quickly. A silent scoff of yeah, right being spoken by him just through his features to her as Josie bit the inside of her cheek, her smile disappearing.

“Yeah,” Calum responded, his voice sounding too deep, heavy with the thoughts swirling in his head. Josie figured she had an idea what was running through his mind. He took another sip of his drink, brown eyes on blue, her own gaze following the way his tongue swiped across his lower lip, hating that she couldn’t pull her gaze away. All too aware that he was watching her track his movements, a hardship she would have to learn to get past. His eyes never left hers as he raised his cup, a silent cheers, as he repeated, “Just like old times.”

*****

The sun was bright. Then again, this was California, and the sun was always bright. Especially as June began and the sun remained high and relentless. It felt warm against Calum’s skin, which he’d eventually cool down by taking advantage of the tempting pool in front of him. And he wanted to jump in already, except he remained planted on the poolside chair, refusing to submerge himself in the cold water because of the woman already enjoying it. So he stayed put, feeling the heat burn his legs and the thin layer of sweat that clung to his skin, depriving himself of the welcoming water because he needed to keep his distance.

Music was playing through Luke’s backyard, but Calum couldn’t tell what song was playing, attention muffled by his focus being on Josie. Or, specifically, it was on trying not to be on the woman. Sipping his beer, Calum blinked behind his sunglasses, trying to anchor himself to the conversation happening around him by trying to get a grasp on reality. It was just him, the boys, and Josie—how it used to be at times when they were younger. Except there was nothing adolescent in the way his gaze lingered on Josie from behind the shades of his glasses. Yet he tried to listen to the song, foot tapping as his mind slowly picked up on the beat. Anything to try and get a solid grasp on his surroundings to pull out of his jumbled thoughts.

“The salon’s nice, then?” Ashton questioned, popped up from the middle of a hideous duck float, arms crossed on top as he looked at Josie.

She was laying on her stomach on a pool float, legs kicked up and ankles crossed. “So nice,” she answered with an appreciative groan. Calum took a breath, sipping his beer again as the sound rang in his ears. “Really fucking fancy, and everyone’s so nice. And the same company owns the nail salon next door so we get discounts.” With a wide grin, she added, “Pretty nails twenty-four-seven.”

She emphasized this point by lifting one hand and wiggling her fingers to show off already painted and long nails. Calum’s eyes followed the movement from where he sat, and the sun burned his skin. He straightened his posture, trying to rid of the all too familiar stinging sensation that dragged down his back. His muscles twitched, taking a breath as he tried to rid of the feeling, the reminder of a memory that was still fresh in his mind despite the months that passed.

Calum smacked his lips after forcing down the sip of beer, looking down at the bottle he held in mild distaste. Suddenly, he felt as though he needed a drink far stronger than this. Something to wipe the images lighting up his mind. 

Michael walked out from the house, flip flops echoing on the concrete, signaling his presence as he walked down the few steps from the back door to the pool area. He settled down on the chair next to Calum. “A friend of Crystal’s booked a couple of tables for tomorrow night at the new club that opened up in West Hollywood.” His green eyes looked at the four people he was with. “You guys down to go?”

Luke waded into the water behind Josie, and Calum watched with a quirk of his eyebrows, noting the way his best friend was making it a point to be particularly quiet in his silent approach towards Josie as Ashton answered, “Yeah; I’ve got a business dinner so I’ll meet you guys there.” He munched on some chips. “Just send me the details.”

Michael nodded, looking between Calum at his right and Josie in the pool in front of them. “What about you guys?”

“Sure,” came both of their responses, Josie’s excited while Calum’s more subdued. His gaze wandered back to Josie and he didn’t miss the way her smile kind of froze on her face, rolling her lower lip into her mouth before breaking their gaze. She couldn’t seem to hold their gaze for too long, as opposed to him, who couldn’t stop looking at her, enough to notice the way her eyes dulled when she heard his hesitated answer. Look at me. The words echoed in his mind, wanting her to hear them. Look. At. Me. Why he wanted her to look at him, he had no idea. All he could think about when their eyes connected, even for a few seconds, were the overwhelming memories he had shoved into a box in his mind. But the more he looked at her, the more prominent the images in his mind became.

Calum hadn’t been paying attention to the conversation that followed, looking out to the five foot brick wall that surrounded the perimeter of Luke’s yard. The sky was clear of clouds that made the heat of the sun all the more relentless, only adding heat to the tightness of his muscles. His attention was drawn back to the scene in front of him by the sound of Josie’s scream, eyebrows raising as he watched Luke, from underwater, pushed the float Josie was on to flip it, sending his sister splashing into the water as the sight of her flailing limbs erupted laughter from everyone else.

An amused grin tilted at Calum’s lips, his own laughter mixing in with those of the boys as Josie finally surfaced with a gasp. And suddenly the laughter from Calum ceased, watching as she rose up with her head tilted back, her slender neck drawing his gaze. For a moment, he could picture it. All of it. The droplets of water covering her skin glimmered under the sun, the blue bikini she wore attracting Calum’s attention more than he’d admit, biting his tongue as Josie turned her back to him to splash at Luke in retaliation.

Calum excused himself then, muttering something about needing to use the bathroom as he headed inside the house, the sliding door at the back of the house opening right into the kitchen as he walked through to get to the downstairs bathroom in the hall. Calum found himself staring at his reflection in the mirror, cheeks flushed, hoping it was from the sun. His eyebrows lowered into a frown as he looked at his reflection, annoyance with himself spiking.

Get it together. It was all that he could say to himself as he exhaled slowly. He felt like a teenage boy, the sight of Josie in the pool stirring something in the pit of his stomach that had him sucking in a breath. What could he do? The sight had been all too familiar. 

Calum gave a shake of his head. Nope. He couldn’t do this.

He exited the bathroom, shaking his hands as if he was trying to get rid of the thoughts that clung to him, walking towards the kitchen. The sound of someone messing around in there caught his attention, distinct in the rattling of bottles, and Calum stopped when he caught sight of Josie shutting the fridge. A Mike’s Hard Lemonade was in her hand as her eyes locked on his, the fall of her sun-flushed face an obvious tell of her discomfort of being caught alone with him.

Calum could vaguely hear the boys still outside, but he was all too focused on Josie; her wet blonde hair hung around her shoulders, and he fought to keep his eyes from wandering any lower than her eyes. He didn’t want to observe the blue bikini top that complimented her eyes, grateful for the little reprieve he had with her tying a towel around her hips. Just a little reprieve. He bit the tip of his tongue, scolding himself for so easily losing his train of thought in her presence, knowing now was not the time to allow himself to fall into a silent stupor.

Licking his lips, Calum looked towards the glass door that led out back, briefly watching his friends talk amongst themselves. Their conversation was drowned out by the music playing, and Calum exhaled, not looking back at Josie as he said, “You could’ve given me a warning, you know.”

He heard the bewilderment in her voice. “A warning?” she repeated. “For what?”

“That you were movin’ here.” Calum turned his head to look at her, taking in the frown furrowing her eyebrows and tilting her lips downwards. His throat worked, keeping his eyes on her as an attempt to keep himself from watching a lone bead of water run down the column of her throat and race towards the valley of her breasts. Conjuring up the nostalgic image of her in the flannels she used to wear was proving to be difficult, his attempt of distracting himself failing. “Would’ve liked a heads up.”

Josie gaped at him, and maybe Calum wasn’t being fair to her. She didn’t really owe him anything, he knew that. But from the moment Luke had dropped the bombshell that Josie was moving in with him—the day she was driving down from Davis—Calum had found himself in a state of panic he wasn’t familiar with. One that made his stomach feel hollow and chest tighten when he thought about seeing her practically every day. 

“A heads up?” Josie scoffed, clearly finding Calum’s words as ridiculous as he felt saying them. With a tilt of her head, she raised an eyebrow and challenged, “Even if I did, what would you have done? High tailed it out of L.A.?”

Calum huffed, arms crossing over his chest, picking up on her gaze drifting to his arms briefly. He would’ve smirked if he wasn’t for the conversation at hand. His lips twisted to the side before he responded, “I would’ve at least been a bit prepared.”

“You think I was prepared?” Josie retorted, eyebrows shooting up as she stared him down. She took a step towards him, her own gaze drifting towards the back door before looking back at him. “Moving to L.A. was a last minute decision. You’re not the only one who can’t look Luke in the eye.”

He licked his lower lip, finger tapping against his bicep as he shook his head, anxiety ridden thoughts running rampant in his head. He wasn’t used to feeling so. . . Frustrated. Panicked. He didn’t like it. He didn’t like feeling as if he was trapped in a corner with no way out. “Pretty sure I have more to lose than you.”

That had been the wrong thing to say; Calum knew it as soon as the words escaped his mouth. He watched the way Josie’s eyebrows shot up and lips parted. She stared at him in disbelief, incredulous that he would try to knock down what was at stake for her in this situation by trying to emphasize his own. It was a dick move, he knew, and he was sorry for it. “Fuck you, Calum,” she frowned, her voice resigned. He hated that he could see her disappointment and hurt more than the anger. He swallowed inaudibly at the thought of bringing that look on her face; one that settled a solemnity in her features against him. “We both screwed Luke over,” she added, making her way around the center counter, taking the longer way around to avoid walking past him as she headed towards the door.

Calum’s jaw set, wanting to apologize as he watched her go, feeling badly for making it seem like his guilt was stronger than hers. Josie stopped then, right before reaching the door, and looked at him over her shoulder. The hurt was still in her eyes, and she spoke with an edge creeping into her voice. “But if you take into consideration who’s more likely to get punched if Luke were to ever find out. . .” Her blue eyes gave him a once over, expression looking almost too empty for Calum’s liking until her gaze met hers. She smiled humorlessly then, wanting to fire back to mask the hurt his words had caused her by being spiteful in hers as she finished off, “Then yeah; you’ve got more to lose.”

And then with a roll of her eyes, she turned back and slid the door open, the music clear for the brief moment the door was open until she slid it shut. Calum rolled his eyes towards the ceiling, shaking his head as he released yet another slow, long breath, finally in tune with the racing of his heart he had failed to notice earlier. So fucking screwed.

--

tags: @irwinkitten​ @loveroflrh​ @sweetcherrymike​ @astroashtonio​ @softforcal​ @highfivecalum​ @novacanecalum​ @captain-what-is-going-on​ @angelbbycal​ @singt0mecalum​ @hopelessxcynic​ @lfwallscouldtalk​ @bodhi-black​ @findingliam-o​ @softlrh​ @calumsmermaid​ @erikamarie41​ @quintodosuniversos​ @longlastingdaydream​ @babylon-corgis​ @lukehemmingsunflower​ @imfuckin10plybud​ @pastelpapermoons​ @conquerwhatliesahead92​ @rotten-kandy​ @metangi​ @neigcthood​ @ohhmuke​ @old-zeppelin-shirt​ @5sos-and-hessa​ @trustmeimawhalebiologist​ @vxlentinecal​ @pettybassists​ @vaporshawn​ @lu-my-golden-boi​ @visualm3nte​ @isabella-mae13​ @dontjinx-it​ @lifeakaharry​ @neonweeknds​ @antisocialbandmate​ @ixcantxdecidexwhosxmyxfave​ @calpalbby​ @grreatgooglymoogly​ @sunnysidesblog​ @miahelizaaabeth​ @madelynerin​ @dramallamawithsparkles​ @theagenderwhocriedwolf @kaytiebug14​ @hoodskillerqueen​ @bitchinbabylon​ @empathycth​ @xhaileyreneex​ @inlovehoodx​ @calistheloml @aestheticrelated​ @bloodlinecal​ @sublimehood​ @madbomb​ @raabiac​ @britnicole11​ @outofmylimitcal​ @wildflower-cth​ @bloodmoonashton​ @vxidhood​ @wildflowergrae​

[goddamnitkastle]

Tell Me Where Your Heart Is

Hello Brooke! (@the-restless-brook)! Yes, I am your Kastle Secret Santa. Ta da! 

You prompted me with “anything cozy, domestic, or angsty (as long as there’s a happy ending).” 

So full disclosure I really had no idea what I was gonna come up with for your gift. I thought about doing some sort of AU for you (because you really are the the Queen of the Kastle AUs) but that ended up being a red herring cause Season 2 of Virgin River came out and OH BOY did I get inspired lol

And so I ultimately decided to go full on angst, which I hope you will like. There is a happy ending, I promise. And there’s also a couple Marvel/Netflix Universe nuggets I threw in, I hope you’ll catch them :)

But to keep it simple, here’s a post The Punisher Season 2 fic in which Frank and Karen meet up at Josie’s. Will they make their way back to each other? (well, yeah, duh but it will be an angsty ride).

Enjoy! And Happy Holidays, Kastle Fam! <3

Josie’s on a Monday is pretty dead, even in December. Honestly a graveyard is more lively on this weekday than the bar in Hell’s Kitchen, despite the homely effort of the Christmas decorations put up by Josie herself. So when Karen comes strolling in, just dodging the light rain, and takes a seat, she’s not surprised by the look on the bar owner’s face.

“Wow. Must’ve been a hell of a day. Starting early for the week, huh?”

“I guess you can say that. Can I get a bourbon?” Karen asks as she places a twenty down on the bar top.

“You got it.”

Josie turns around and grabs the Four Roses bottle off the shelf. Karen takes a quick survey of the scene, clocks everyone here. Rob and Mira Donohue are having drinks at the table by the pinball machine and Tom Belkin is at the pool table with a friend.

“Here ya go, love.” Josie places the glass in front of her and takes the twenty. Karen takes a sizeable sip, tries to focus on the burn going down her throat rather than her rattling nerves. She doesn’t miss Josie’s eyes go wide though when she gives her her change. 

“Hey should I be worried tonight, Page? This isn’t your usual night and look, I don’t mind... usually…”

“It’s fine, Josie. I’m just... meeting someone. And I need this place to be quiet. I think they need... quiet.”

Josie shakes her head, walks over to the end of the bar. She pulls back a small curtain, revealing a safe hidden under the register. She turns the combination lock, opens it, and pulls out a 9mm.

“Josie come on, that’s not…”

“It’s a precaution. I do trust you... usually... but I got an establishment to protect.” Josie says as she ejects and checks the mag.

She clips it back in and clicks the safety off when the bell rings by the entrance door. Karen resists turning around, even though she is dying to see him.

God how long has it been since the hospital she thinks.

She goes for another sip of bourbon, tries to feign casualness even though his very presence has changed the mood of this dull Monday night. The Donohues have stopped talking and Tom and his friend have stopped playing. Heavy boots pad their way to the bar. Out of the corner of her eye, Frank Castle comes into her line of sight. He’s in all black, sporting a full beard, and scowling, but it doesn’t feel lethal to her. Josie though is gripping her gun like a lifeline.

“What can I do for you... scary hipster?” Josie asks.

Karen has to choke down her laughter. She covers her mouth with her hand and squeezes her eyes shut.

“I’ll just take a beer.”

Frank sits down a seat away from Karen and the tension lifts once Josie clicks the safety back on. The bar patrons resume their activities as she quickly serves Frank a beer, gun still in hand. Josie walks toward the end of the bar toward the safe but not before giving Karen a quick I will never let you in here again if there’s trouble tonight look. She just shrugs in response.

Neither of them say anything for a good while. Karen just focuses on her bourbon. Frank was the one who called her, he can start this. Not like she has anywhere to be...

Although drinking at Josie’s on a Monday night isn’t exactly at the top of her list.

“Hell of a place you picked.”

“Didn’t know what I was getting into. Knew it wouldn’t be crowded here... and I needed a drink.”

“What about your place? Don’t tell me you had to move again…” Frank cracks as he takes a swig of his beer.

“Nope, I’m still there.”

Frank takes a step closer to her. Karen can’t help it, she turns to face him and take him in. No bruises and his hair is growing out again. He looks the way he did when he first came back into her life, just without a blanket and not asking for change.

“Wasn’t sure you were gonna say yes to meeting me.”

“I wasn’t either. Still debating on leaving, actually…”

“Do you want to?”

“Honestly? Yes.”

“Okay. You can go.”

“Right.”

Karen starts to get up and she wishes she missed Frank’s face. Looking like a puppy who got kicked for chewing on someone’s flip flop.

“Hey.” Frank says intensely as he grips her arm. “Come on. Don’t…”

“Don’t what, Frank?”

“Don’t... go.”

“You literally told me I could go. Look, what do you want Frank? Can you just tell me why you called…”

“I will when you stop this.”

“Stop what?”

“Being pissed at me.”

“Being pissed... oh boy.”

She bites down on her bottom lip; a suppression to not straight up scream at him.

“I want to talk, Karen. But if you need to say something to me just say it. Just get it out in the open so that we can move forward.”

His eyes bore into hers. Karen hopes Frank isn’t looking into her soul, he doesn’t get to do that anymore. She knows she needs to break this, needs to move on. He chose the war. He chose to continue being The Punisher. The people that care about him, the peace he could have found... he pushed it all away. And he can’t just decide to want it now after almost a year of silence.

“Fine. I do have some things to say. But first, you’re gonna buy me a drink. Okay?”

“Okay.”

She walks back over to the bar and sets her bag and coat down again on the chair. Frank follows. Josie saunters over.

“Another bourbon, Page?”

“No I’d like two shots of whiskey please. He’s buying.”

Karen jerks her head toward Frank who immediately pulls out a wad of cash from his coat pocket.

“You got it.”

Josie walks away to get the shots. Karen takes a seat and Frank takes the one next to her.

“Didn’t take you for a hard liquor kind of girl.”

Karen opens her mouth, then closes it. How exactly is she supposed to respond to that? People have been making assumptions about her all her life and she’s in no mood to tell Frank that he’s wrong.

“But I guess I don’t know that much about you, do I? You always... surprise me.”

The genuineness throws Karen off. She wonders if she should cut him some slack. It’s not like they owe each other anything. The connection that Madani had told her they had will probably always be there but as it stands she doesn’t fit into his life and vice versa. What’s the point in trying to make it work?

“No. You don’t know anything about me.” She says after a prolonged pause.

Josie comes back with the shots and makes herself scarce again. Karen takes the shot and gestures to other one.

“Come on.”

“Jesus…” Frank mutters.

“Not into hard liquor like me? Wait. Let me guess. You actually love wine.”

“I do actually.”

He stares at the shot glass then back at her. He sighs and downs it. The grimace he makes is brief, but then he turns back to her and she knows what has to come next.

“It’s been a year since the hospital Frank. ” Karen starts as she rotates her empty shot glass with her fingertips.

“I think. I’m honestly not sure… anyway. I thought we were done. I thought you were finally out of my life and then those pot of white roses landed on my desk last week and… I really don’t understand what you want for me at this point. If it’s to get information I am not going to do that for you. If you are looking to reconnect I don’t want that either. Not while you continue to wage this war of yours that you chose. Over life. Over love. Over… me.”

She places the shot glass down, the clink on the wooden bar top being the loudest noise in her ears.

“I’m sorry. About that day. And I’m sorry I never called you after that. But I thought you understood.”

“Understood?”

“Why I am doing this. Why I couldn’t accept what you were offering me that day in the hospital. I lost my entire family, Karen. I had to watch them die and then bury them. You can’t even begin to imagine…”

“I’ve buried people that I loved. I absolutely know what you are going through. I know hurt. I know guilt. I know how it feels to want to drive a knife into this world just to feel like I had some kind of control over it. So don’t you dare try to tell me how I feel. I just…”

Karen huffs as she runs her fingers through her hair. Frank scratches at his beard, clearly processing.

“Do you think I like feeling like this? I am never going to see Maria again. I am never going to hold Lisa or Frankie Jr. in my arms. They are gone, Karen. And it is my fault that they are gone. If I let myself love you…”

“Frank…”

“It’s just a risk I can’t take. If anything happened to you… I wouldn’t be able to survive it.”

Frank’s trigger finger taps away on the bar top.

“So is that it? Is that why you called me? To tell me that you will forever be stuck in this black hole of a life? Stuck in a war that can never be won and you think it’s what you deserve?”

“It is what I deserve.”

“No it’s not Frank. The loss of your family… that is something that you will carry with you with the rest of your life. And the grief will always come straight at you, unexpectedly. But you deserve an after…”

“Karen, no…”

“You do. I know you can’t see it but you will come to a day where you’ll be able to think about them but still go on with your life. And that won’t feel like a betrayal...”

“I can’t do this. I’m sorry. I should’ve never called you.”

He practically bounds out of the bar stool and heads for the door.

“Frank!” Karen shouts.

The door swings and he’s gone.

This is a crossroads moment. Karen can feel it. She could let him go, never see him again. Maybe at last find peace with this pain. Find someone else to build a life with.

“You love him don’t you?”

Karen turns around to find Josie looking at her. She’s cleared their shot glasses away and is washing them in the sink.

“Josie…”

“Don’t try to deny it. And he loves you too.”

“Yeah, sure he does.” Karen replies sarcastically.

“He does. I remember that news story a while about that crazy asshole who shot up that hotel trying to kill ya and that senator or whatever. I read that he took a few bullets for you. That’s love.”

“How did you... nevermind. Yes, that is true, but then when I offered the option to love someone else, he said he didn’t want to.”

‘Yeah but then he asked to see you again. Timing is a bitch, that much I know. Come on, at least go out there and give the man a hug. Man looks like he could use one.”

Karen turns back to the front door. Before she can process it she is heading out the door, barely catching Josie‘s laugh.

The sharp, winter air hits her and the light rain Is back. Karen looks down both sides of the street, knowing that he is probably long gone by now. The man knows how to disappear, and will only be found if he wants to.

She goes to her left to head home. As she turns the corner, he’s there. Against the wall of Josie‘s, barely standing.

“Frank?”

She walks toward him but he doesn’t acknowledge her. He looks so broken, looking up at the sky.

“You belong with someone else, Karen. Not with me.”

“Don’t.”

“You do.”

“Well I don’t want someone else, Frank. I want you.”

He turns away from the sky and stares at her, wide eyed.

“Yeah. It’s still on the table. But if you’re not even going to open yourself up to the possibility of an after… And I’m not saying an after with me. I mean for yourself. If you won’t even allow yourself to try to find it then it’s not going to work. I need hope, Frank. I need to believe that there is a better world to make and to be had. Even if that means I am not going to be around for it. I am still going to try to leave it better than I found it.”

“Who was it?” Frank asks after a few moments.

“What?”

“Who did you bury?”

“My mom. My brother, Kevin.”

“Tell me about them?”

“Okay. Walk me to my car?”

She thought it would be a lot harder to tell him about what happened to her mom and Kevin, about who she was before she came to New York City. But it fell out of her, everything. He doesn’t interject nor interrupt her. They’re still a block away when she’s done talking.

They reach her car as Karen fishes for her keys. They are stuck at the bottom of her bag and she groans in frustration. She had almost forgotten that Frank is still with her but then she feels a hand lightly touch her shoulder.

“Karen.”

She looks up. He is looking better but there is still that same lingering, soul crushing sadness in his eyes.

“I’m sorry.”

The sincerity of his apology stuns Karen. Then it comes back. The memory of when she told Matt about what happened to Kevin.

“Jesus Karen.”

Matt was wrapped up in trying to take down Fisk at the time. Karen was trying to pull Matt back, she knew it wasn’t the right time to tell him. She knows he would’ve probably have had a different reaction under different circumstances. Karen knows this. But Karen would be lying if his response didn’t haunt her dreams every now and then.

“Well I should get home. If you ever wanna talk… well I’m sure you’ll reach me somehow. I’ll keep an eye out for another pot of roses.”

She gets her car door open and climbs into the seat. She turns the key in the ignition but the engine stalls.

“Come on.”

Karen keeps turning the key but the engine continues to stall.

Frank knocks on her windshield window.

“Hey, let me check. I can probably jumpstart your car.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Jesus Karen.”

“I don’t want you here, Karen.”

Karen smacks the steering wheel repeatedly and then screams. And screams. And screams.

“Karen! Karen!”

Frank’s voice is muffled and Karen barely registers that he’s opened her door and is pulling her out of the car.

“Karen it’s okay. It’s okay. I’m here.”

The screams turn into sobs and Karen stops trying to pull away from Frank.

She doesn’t know how long they stand there in the light rain while he holds her. Her crying does subside in time and all Karen feels is his heartbeat and his hand running up and down her back.

“I know. I know.” He keeps repeating into her ear.

Frank asks if Karen wants a ride home. Karen just simply nods, now realizing that her legs are numb.

“Okay. Let me make a quick phone call.”

Frank gets on the phone and says hi to Micro. Karen manages a small smile. Good to know that he’s not dead.

“Okay so Micro is calling in some favors. Your car is gonna get towed to a lot nearby. I will take care of it tomorrow.”

“Thank you, Frank.”

“Let’s get you home.”

Frank holds his hand out and Karen takes it. 

...

It takes an hour but they arrive in Karen’s neighborhood. Frank has to park ten minutes away from her apartment, which has him apologizing and cursing alternate side parking in one breath.

Karen feels simultaneously exhausted and wired. Frank hasn’t taken her hand in his since they got out of his van but they keep drifting and bumping into each other as they walk.

“Thanks for driving me back.”

“You’re welcome. You okay?”

“Yeah I just… I told Matt. About Kevin. And it... wasn’t the best timing and I had never told anyone before that moment and…”

“Yeah well I don’t think altar boy has the best bedside manner. Even on a good day.”

Karen can’t help but laugh. They walk up the front steps of her apartment building.

“Don’t worry about your car. It’ll be safe. I’ll pick it up tomorrow and take it to the shop. It’s probably the alternator.”

They reach her door.

“Okay so I have your car keys but you probably need these back.”

He hands her the rest of her key ring. He turns to go down the steps, their fingers interlocking around each other.

“So hold onto it. You have everything. Use two hands and never let go.”

Never let go.

Never let...

She grips on his fingers and he turns around. She doesn’t say or do anything but hold on to the key ring and his fingers. They just stare at each other but something changes, something shifts.

He walks back up the two steps, and they’re now face to face.

Karen can’t explain it but she’s filled with such a longing that she thought she had buried a long time ago.

They are still holding on to her key ring, the metal becoming warm from the heat of their hands. She inches closer and closer to his face, eventually ghosting her lips over his.

Karen places a small kiss on his mouth. He doesn’t react, which isn’t surprising, so she tries again. She can feel how taken aback he is but he starts to reciprocate soon enough. He angles his mouth as she pushes her tongue past his teeth, his hands cup her face as she wraps her arms around his neck.

The flurry and fury of their movements push them up the stairs. Karen has never been more grateful for her one floor walk up. He gets the door open as she gets to work on getting his jacket off. He helps her out of hers with ease, his mouth never leaving hers.

Karen is trying to take it all in but it’s too much. The ridges of the scars on his skin that have stories and how she wants to know all of them. How strong he is, taking her shirt off with a gentle force she has never felt. How soft his hair is, how his beard feels so fucking good on her neck.

They fall into her bed, still partially clothed but Karen doesn’t mind, she’s content to just kiss him and hold him close to her.

His mouth leaves hers and Karen tries to reach for it but stops. It’s that stare of his again. But it’s different this time. She’s seen him vulnerable but never this vulnerable. He honestly looks terrified.

“Frank what is it? We can stop…”

“No. I want to. I want this... I just... when we’re not together... when I don’t see you... it scares me. And I tried to hide from that feeling all year. Karen don’t…”

She runs her hands through his hair and he frames her head with his.

“It’s okay. It’s okay Frank.”

Instinctually, her hand slides down to his chest. Over his fast beating heart.

“It’s safe. You’re safe.”

She reaches for his face, her finger tips brushing against his lips. He kisses her palm and she pulls him back in.

...

Frank is warm. A comfortable warm, not the searing kind that comes from his nightmares. Hands are wrapped around his head and his face is pressed against soft skin. Karen’s skin. This stillness, after all that transpired last night between them, is strangely comforting. As is her slow, deep breathing. And when she wakes up, a smile forming at the sight of him, he still wonders if this is all a dream. 

“Morning.”

“Morning.”

“How do you feel?” Karen asks as she pushes away a strand of hair from his forehead.

“Happy.” Franks answers honestly. 

“That’s good.”

“And safe.” Frank admits quietly.

“That’s exactly how I want you to feel.”

“I do. With you.”

“So do I.”

He reaches for her face, brushes the pad of his thumb on her cheek. For a brief, sudden moment he sees smoke and a bloody cut on Karen’s forehead. How close he came to losing her that day…

“I will come for you.”

Frank shakes away the memory and tries to focus on this one. He wants these kind of memories with Karen, not the ones filled with violence and open ended goodbyes.

“Is everything okay, Frank?”

“Look Karen… I want to be honest. I don’t want to lie to you anymore and… you should know why I called you.”

Frank pulls away from her and sits up against her headboard. Karen follows suit, pulling her comforter up.

“Okay.” 

“I... want to be done. The Punisher… I want it to be over.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I won’t, uh, bore you with the details but… I was near death. About a month ago. I really don’t remember much but I wasn’t… planning to come back from this job. But I guess Curtis and Madani weren’t on board. They got me out and… I just remember cracks of light. From the car windows. And each time, I saw you. I honestly thought you had come with them. I kept wanting to let go though, finally be with… but you were there. Telling me to hold on. Cause there was another side to this. An… after. And I did. When I finally came to, I asked where you were. And yeah, I found out you weren’t really there but… it was real. And it got me through. And that was why I called. I want you there. But then you were ruthless... stomped on my heart... which I deserved... and I got scared. I’m still scared, Karen. But I don’t want to live without you anymore. And I don’t expect…”

Karen takes his hand, puts it in her lap. Whatever he was going to say next dies on his tongue.

“This is real, Frank. You know that, right?”

“I do.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

He leans in to kiss her and it is the sweetest touch he can muster. He hopes it is enough.

It was a hell of a journey for them to get to this point. And they still have a long way to go. But her heart is safe with him. And now his heart can be safe with her.

[riverdale-retread]

Riverdale S2 E17

- My favorite person on this show right now is Sweet Pea.  I want a Sweet Pea spin-off so bad.  He’s the best looking boy on the show, bar none (though Reggie comes close second), and also did I mention, tall?  On my to-do list is to find Sweet Pea fanfic that goes into Serpent politics, and his seething about Jughead while falling for Josie.  This exists, right?  Anyway, he does all the great things: Speaking up at the debate session, and pointing out that Betty  has no right to be claiming Serpent Queen identity for herself.  Tells Jughead he’s looking like Buddy Holly, Sucking Up to the Northside.  Calling Alice Cooper turncoat, and Betty, turncoat’s daughter, and Bughead, running with the turncoat’s daughter.  And he speaks for all the Serpents, to deny Jughead the vote.

- Protagonist Privilege Betty is getting on my nerves.  Why do people keep insisting that Bughead are supportive of each other when scenes like this exist? 

Exh 1. The car that Bughead shoved into the swamp has been found, everyone is panicking, and Jughead says: “We should have known better” which is true, but Betty gives him a look, and he amends it to “I should have known better.”  Uh. Betty you need to say or do something!  But nothing! She only touches him when she says something about herself -  “We 100% were wearing the gloves” i.e. precious Betty’s fingerprints are not in the car.

The Cooper women going at it and the Jones men looking at each other like OMFG was pretty funny, though.

Exh 2: “Living in sin in the trailer” v FP “sleeping on the pull out sofa with his son” so Betty can be in the bedroom. So did Jughead always sleep on the pull out sofa throughout his childhood?  Is that why he has such horrendous posture? 

Exh 3:  Betty claiming to have “helped the Serpents on numerous occasions.” Well maybe. Except you didn’t really give a shit about Jughead trying to save Southside High or whatever. 

Exh 4:  Betty calls in the Serpents and ... they come when summoned and I find this very, very annoying.  And this is, after the uncomfortable breakfast that Jughead had at the Cooper’s back in S1, the first time that Alice says anything to Jughead in absolutely ages (which is to say Thank You and it comes ONLY AFTER Jughead apologizes for breaking down her door, for effect, to save her life after the strange Darla & man that Chic bring to her life)

- You know how I said Jughead was the spiritual son of Fred and replacing Archie, because Archie defected to Camp Hiram?  I’d forgotten this bit, that Jughead has a breakfast conversation with Fred, working on his speech, and neither of them told Archie.  And Archie flakes on attending Fred’s speech to announce his candidacy for mayor. 

- Nana Rose is not always in a wheelchair. Sometimes she’s just seated on a chair. Does this mean Penelope has the upper body strength to bodily haul Nana Rose around?  Nana Rose making the call was terrific, and I enjoyed the fact that Nana Rose had obviously forgotten that Claudius Blossom existed at all.

- The Gay Conversion Therapy plot, it hurts me how badly done this was, because I love my Cheryl.  Kevin says that boys used to sneak out to meet him at the forest to hook up, but for some reason Cheryl has an all -points alert and nuns hunting her down. They establish the tunnel of escape from the Sisters of Quiet Mercy building, which they reuse (or attempt to) during the Farm storylines. Josie dropping out of the search for Cheryl was perfunctory, designed to wrap up the underdeveloped and badly done strange crush that Cheryl used to have on Josie.  Veronica wearing a very strange look-at-the-skin-on-my-sternum catsuit and heels for the rescue was one of the rare costume fails at Riverdale. 

- We’re supposed to find it terrible and embarrassing whenever Alice Cooper breaks out snakeprints and dark eyeliner for those times when she dips into her Serpent past, right? It’s supposed to be mawkish, yes?  Also the compulsion she has - if she’s a Serpent then she must fuck FP, and FP agreeing to this rule, is really, really weird. 

- Similarly, the whole bit with coded Italian gangsters visiting the Spanish speaking Hiram Lodge to do something about the prison whatever was so very dull, and I am going to keep an eye out for when they dispense with the Hiram Is a Gangster storyline altogether and just make him a real estate developer.

[twoidiotwriters1]

Déjà Vu (Or are we losing our minds?) -Modern!Shirbert

A/N: That’s right! I’m starting a new (old if you ask the fellas in Ao3 lmao) AWAE series!! I was waiting to have enough chapters and now that day is finally here! I hope you like it -Danny

Words: 3,961

Next Chapter

Chapter One: Make Your Own Decision.

'Two souls don't find each other

                                      by simple accident.'

Gilbert wasn't a morning person.

Medical school was a pain in the ass, he didn't need to say that to anyone– He didn't like to complain at all if he was honest, after all, it was thanks to school that he was going to become a doctor. Still, he missed the lazy mornings on his bed, no worries in the world apart from what his father would make for breakfast.

That was years ago, though. Now he was an adult (or the closest thing to it, anyway) and he had bills to pay, he didn't have to pay rent and that was certainly a good thing, Bash and Mary were a gift sent from heaven after his dad had died, but he still helped around their house, along with the schoolwork he worked on relentlessly while trying to ignore the uncertain future knocking on his door almost every day.

After all the sleepless nights pacing around the kitchen, lights on and coffee maker ready to go, memorizing things and finishing research papers, he's pretty sure this isn't exactly healthy, but if he's bound to have similar routines for the rest of his life, he might as well get used to it.

He tries not to think a lot about that, his future, that is. All around him friends start to settle down, move out to their own places, find love, travel, having adventures while he spends all his weekends locked in his room learning about a new subject that is just as thrilling as any date he could possibly have.

That's a lie, of course. He longs for a break, an excuse to run wild and free just one night.

Luckily for him, that opportunity comes this Friday.

___________________

Anne's in love with the early sunlight, that warm, clear light that slips through her window every morning to announce a new day with no mistakes in it yet was about to start.

She loves the quiet, how time slows down for her while she pours a second cup of tea for her morning readings before heading to school. She loves the muffled noises Diana and Cole make while getting up, letting her know she has to hurry if she wants to start her routine on time.

She's a simple young woman (a very new one at that, if she was honest) and the little things still manage to give her a thrill that parties or any kind of social interaction simply can't.

That's half a truth, of course. She misses the weekly reunions with her Highschool friends, the bike rides with Jerry, her old neighbor, whenever they needed someone to rant about stupid things and none of their friends was around to do so.

Despite all this, she is fine. Anne follows the path to her dream: to become a successful writer for all kinds of people, to tell the stories that people need most at the moments when all hope seems lost and love is scarce.

However, when her Highschool friends text her and Diana about a much-needed reunion, she didn't have to think twice before replying with 'Oh god, YES.'

___________________

The Orchard was fairly known for its homely 'aesthetic' as some would call it, which attracted the younger people that needed a break from their crazy student lives. The diner had originally belonged to Gilbert's dad, but when he passed away, it fell onto Gilbert's hands and him, not wanting to close the place that had so many memories of his childhood, decided to add Bash's name into the papers.

Their dads had been good friends most of their lives, and although Gilbert and Bash aren't the same age, he thinks of him as some kind of older brother who always helped him get through the hard times, especially right after his father was gone. It was only natural that Bash owned half of the diner, after all, he loved the place as much as Gilbert, for his father had worked there in the bar while Mr. Blythe served the costumers.

The two lousy boys had dedicated most of their free, youthful time, to run around the place like they owned it. Now that they did, it was pretty much the same, only that this time they run around placing food on the tables and scribbling people's orders.

After a few months of hectic confusion, Bash's mother practically forced them to hire more staff, since they had their hands full and Gilbert was breaking under the pressure that it was to keep the business going the same as his career.

They hired one of Gilbert's old friends and a few students that lived near the diner. Moody Spurgeon, Prissy Andrews, Charlie Sloane, and the Pauls (They weren't related, they just happened to be named Paul).

That Friday was the last before their winter break, so it was packed with tons of eager students wanting to eat their money away now that most of them were returning home for the holidays. This meant two wonderful things to Gilbert:

One, the diner was going great.

Two, he was getting the well-deserved sleep he'd been lacking for months.

Excluding that night, because that night he was going to get utterly shitfaced with Moody and company after their evening shift.

___________________

"I've never heard of that place before," Anne replied distractedly as she kept grabbing things from the table and putting them inside her bag.

"Students love that place, Ruby says they serve the best food and she's always there, but Jane says she's actually crushing on one of the waiters, though Ruby refuses to either confirm or deny..."

"Ruby's always crushing on someone, though," Cole replied. "If she's still going after all this time, the food must be worth it as much as any cute boy."

"I honestly don't care as long as there's enough room to sit and have a long, long chat with all of you," Anne smiled dreamily. "I've missed them so much! Even Josie– And you know how often she tends to get on my nerves!"

"You wouldn't be missing them so much if you could put the books down every once in a while to hang with us," Diana rolled her eyes. "Honestly Anne, it's a miracle you're not blind or wear glasses at all after all the hours you stay with your face glued to the pages."

"I'd look awful with glasses!" Anne grimaced. "I hope my eyesight stays the same for the rest of my life."

"Well then, take care of your eyes and take a break from those books. Leave your bag here, you won't need it," Cole grinned.

Anne's eyes landed on the bag laying on top of their table. That bag was used for one thing only: To carry as many books as possible in case she got bored, so she could read at any time, any place. Also to carry her keys and pads, but those weren't as important.

"But... what if the girls arrive late?"

"You can talk to us, or are we too boring for you now, Miss Literate?" Diana teased.

"You know that's not it," She rolled her eyes. "Okay, if you want I'll leave the books."

"Perfect," Cole clapped once and got up excitedly. "Let's go!"

___________________

"Gilbert, come back to earth and take this to table three, will you?" Charlie hissed, putting the plate in front of his nose and waking the boy abruptly.

"Sorry!" He jumped, walking hurriedly to said table.

When he got back, Charlie was still there, examining his face.

"Are you sure you want to go out, man? I can tell you're worn out, maybe you should take a–"

"No!" Gilbert growled. He cleared his throat and continued on a much lighter voice after noticing this. "I- Uh, I'll be fine. I'll sleep all I want tomorrow, but today I really want to go out, before you and the boys go back to your homes for Christmas."

Charlie nodded with uncertainty.

"Maybe you should change places with Bash? The kitchen might keep you alert instead of sitting here and wait for people to call you over."

"Yeah..."

"I'll get him," His friend decided, walking back to the kitchen.

Gilbert heard the entrance's bell ring and turned to see Ruby Gillis and a few other girls enter.

Ruby was a good and constant client. He was glad about Bash taking his place because he believed that Ruby had a crush on Moody, and the waiter always took her orders no matter the table she was in, he didn't have enough energy to watch them ogle at each other.

"You okay, Blythe?" Bash patted his back once he and Charlie reappeared behind him. "You're sure you want to go out? With that look, you're likely to scare all the ladies away instead of getting a date for our Christmas party."

"Very funny," Gilbert scoffed. "I'm fine, I just need to stay active."

Before either Bash or Charlie could reply, he rushed into the kitchen, missing the exact moment when three new costumers arrived at the place.

***

"I see why people love it here," Anne said. "I feel cozy just by looking at it!"

"Yeah," Cole agreed, frowning slightly. "We are going to a bar after this, aren't we?"

"Cole!" They replied.

"I'm just asking!" He exclaimed. "It's lovely and all, but I'm not spending my last weekend away from my maniac siblings eating a freaking burger."

"It's likely," Diana retorted. When she noticed Anne's eyes widening, she quickly added. "No one will force you to get drunk, I know you hate how... uhm– Well, how crazy you get."

"I love drunk Anne!" Cole laughed. "Last time I saw her we were playing truth or dare and she was dared to kiss one of my friends, but then I convinced Josie to change the dare and after that Anne grabbed me by the collar and whispered very loudly. 'Thank you Cole. I actually want to kiss you now' and when I reminded her I was gay, she retorted 'Oh, sorry Gay, I thought you were Cole' "

Diana and Cole chortled, Anne shook her head in horror.

"Drunk me is terrible!"

"No! Only her puns are."

"Can we just get a table, please?"

"Oh!" Diana grabbed her arm, pulling her to a distant corner. "They're here already!"

The next few hours passed way too fast. Anne, finally reunited with her best friends, felt as if she was finally coming back to life.

As Diana had predicted, they decided to go to a bar a few streets down the road from The Orchard. A place their waiter, a young man named Moody and who Anne suspected was the waiter Ruby had feelings for, had recommended to them, casually letting them know that he was going to be there after work with a few of his friends. Ruby practically dragged them to the bar as soon as they paid the bill.

"Bet Ruby ends up declaring her love to that waiter in less than an hour, and ends up spending the rest of the Holidays mourning because she scared him away," Josie whispered audibly to Jane and Anne. The former sniggered and nudged Josie's arm. Anne frowned worryingly towards her friend, really hoping that wasn't the case.

___________________

"Who's ready to lose all memories from whatever happens tonight?" Paul asked loudly over the music, placing a bunch of drinks in front of the group.

The boys answered by chugging down drink after drink, getting clumsier as time went by.

Gilbert was having a blast, most of his days he wishes he could go back to being a teenager, slightly more different than the one he was. One that wasn't all that quiet and reserved and bitter about his dad's fate.

He longed for his lost youth, where he would attend parties and go to prom looking sharp, accompanied by a pretty girl beside him. All those teams and clubs he had to leave to stay home and spend the last days of his father's life next to his bed, all those gatherings he missed with people from other places because he had to get the best grades so one day he could be a doctor, so he could save the people he loved... so he didn't have to live through the uncertainty and the uselessness again.

Tonight he was finally getting that, he could pretend he was still just a boy, a stupid boy who didn't know how to drink and most certainly would end up throwing up half his stomach out of his body, but a happy boy at least.

"You know," He yelled to no one in particular. "Did you know, that you guys are my best friends?"

The boys replied with words of appreciation, patting his back harshly. Charlie even hugged him.

"I mean it!" He continued. "These last few months have been shit. There, I said it. Shit."

"What you need," One of the Pauls said, he wasn't as drunk as Gilbert, but he was definitely almost there. "What you need is to get laid."

The boys erupted into mayhem, agreeing with Paul. All of them except for Gilbert.

He frowned, not understanding what they meant.

"I said I'm not tired," Gilbert shook his head, his whole body losing stability and crashing against Moody, who held him in place as if it was normal to lose your ground while sitting on a chair. "I don't need to lay in bed just yet."

"I meant sex," Paul retorted, chugging down half of what he had in his glass.

"Oh," Gilbert sat back, eyebrows raising as if he'd never thought about it before. "Well, that's different."

"You need a break," Charlie slurred. "Or is the good doctor too much of a saint to touch a strange girl?"

"I'm not," Gilbert huffed, drinking what was left of his drink. "I can have sex. I like sex!"

"But Gilbert, you've never had–" Moody started, but was soon cut off by Gilbert's sudden movement.

The young man stood up, leaning on the table and losing all the color on his face. The rest of the group moved away as Moody grabbed Gilbert by the shoulders and straightened him up.

"Gilbert?" He asked, slightly coming back to his senses.

"Bathroom," He said quietly.

"Alright," Moody gulped. "Be right back, guys. Gilbert needs a moment."

___________________

Anne spent the majority of the night talking with everyone, and the problem with that is that she gets thirsty when that happens. Which is a dangerous thing to be at a bar.

Still, Cole -what a great friend he was- made sure to always keep her glass full so she could take sip after sip without having to wait.

She knew she was far from sober when she found herself in the middle of an argument with Josie and Tillie about zodiac signs. Anne was talkative on the daily, but after a few drinks she was simply unstoppable- There was no soul on earth or heaven that could follow her train of thoughts, and right now she wasn't even sure she was following them herself.

"I have to pee," She said, interrupting her own story and sliding out of their booth to stand up.

"I'll go with you," Ruby said, impatient to have an excuse to stand up and look around for Moody, she'd barely touched her drink all night.

"Okay, but it's not like I need help or anything," Anne rolled her eyes, accidentally stepping on Tillie's foot. "Woops! Sorry, Tillie!"

Cole watched her along with Diana, both raising their glasses and making a silent toast for their friend. Anne was finally having fun after such a dull term and it was simply amusing watching her act so recklessly during her drunken state.

"Don't stay for too long Anne," Ruby warned her. "Last time you fell asleep inside the stall and Diana had to crawl underneath to get you out!"

"It wasn't my fault!" She replied loudly. "I hadn't slept at all that week, and the alcohol makes wonders to my insomnia."

"I think you've had enough for tonight as well," Ruby grinned. "I'll get you a cold glass of water once where back in our table, okay?"

Anne nodded, silently making her way into the girl's toilet. Since it was just one bathroom, Ruby had to stand outside, leaning on the sink and examining her reflection on the mirror. Two men, one dragging the other, walk past her in a rush and opened the boy's bathroom harshly, the one who'd been dragged quickly fell to his knees and started vomiting his guts out.

"Oh my god!" Ruby gasped, covering her mouth in horror. "Is he okay?"

"He's fine," The guy said without turning to see her. "He doesn't drink this much often, that's all."

The young man stood up once he made sure Gilbert was doing fine on his own, not choking or anything, and turn to meet the blonde's eyes.

"Oh," His cheeks reddened. "Hi!"

"Moody!" She exclaimed happily. "You weren't lying, you came here after all!"

"Yeah," He smiled. "We wanted to give our buddy Gilbert a good night before we return home. Now I'm not so sure about it..." He grimaced at hearing his friend's grunts and gags.

"I'm with my friends as well, but I..." Ruby blushed lightly, even that she managed to make enchanting. "If you have time, we could seat together for a moment? Just the two of us?"

"Right now?" Moody asked in surprise.

"Well, no," Ruby peered over his shoulder at the boy's bathroom. "Not if you can't, I see your friend is feeling terrible..."

"He'll recover," Moody brushed it off. "He's studying to become a doctor, you know? I bet he'll see his way out now that the alcohol's out of his system"

"You're sure?" The girl inquired.

"Are you able right now?" Moody looked behind her to see the girl's door. "Were you waiting in line or is one of your friends there?"

"A friend, she's also wasted," Ruby said, pondering her options. "But... I guess if she managed to walk all the way here on her own... she can walk back just fine?"

Moody's smile widened.

"We better go get those drinks, then?"

"Sure!" Ruby exclaimed, holding Moody's wrist and dragging him back to the bar.

A minute after her friend had left, Anne walked out of the toilet, mid-conversation with a Ruby she didn't know was no longer there.

"... and the toilets here are so comfortable, I almost felt tempted to have a nap right there, but a promise is a promise– See, Ruby? I didn't stay for too long!" She looked up to find the spot empty, her confidence falling. "Or perhaps I did..?"

Lightly stumbling her way over to the sink, she focused on washing her hands before going back. Her reflection looked back at her and smiled happily, putting some strands of loose hair behind her ear and failing to notice the boy's door opening.

There was a small slate on her right with the words 'Wash your hands before you leave! :)' written with purple chalk that she found adorable. She picked it up to examine it further when a body clumsily crashed against her side.

"Woops!" The man said, not looking up. "Sorry."

Anne raised her brow for a second before turning her attention back to the slate.

Gilbert washed his face and hands, the world less blurry than before but still awfully intoxicated. Paul's comment came back to him and feeling the girl's presence behind his back he decided it was rather convenient.

"Excuse me," He asked, looking up and facing the girl's reflection. "Can I ask you something?"

It took her a moment to realize he was talking to her, the man kept staring at the mirror instead of turning to face her, but she could sort of see his face under the dim lights looking back at her though, and since she was feeling rather chatty, she obliged.

"Sure, what's up?"

"Do I look like I need sex?"

Anne laughed.

"Dunno, why're you asking?"

"My life sucks," Gilbert shook his head casually. "And I'm about to have the worst hangover ever."

"That makes two of us, dude."

Gilbert tilted his head, turning to see her now, taking in her appearance.

"You would have sex with me?"

"Excuse me," Anne frowned. "I barely know you!"

"Yeah, but am I attractive?"

"It doesn't matter, I wouldn't have sex with a stranger."

"Very well, then imagine that I'm not a stranger," Gilbert rolled his eyes, having to hold on to the corner of the sink so as not to lose his balance. "Would you do it?"

Anne started to imagine, she imagined a great deal so she could give a precise answer.

"Well, I'd have to know your medical records cause I don't wanna get any diseases, and then I'd have to find you likable because looks aren't everything– and if I'm having sex with you I probably want something that lasts–"

"Nevermind," Gilbert snorted. "I think we're both better if we don't have anything at all."

"Why's that?" Anne asked irritatedly, this guy was making no sense to her.

"You overthink a lot and I already do that way too much for my own good," Gilbert explained.

"Oh, so you'd rather take advantage of a dumb girl, is that what you're saying?"

"That's what you're saying," He scoffed. "I only asked if you'd have sex with me in a hypothetical scenario but you rambled on with the rest, Carrots."

"I was giving an honest reply," She stated. "And don't call me, Carrots. You sound like a child."

Gilbert laughed loudly at that.

"Better a child than a grumpy librarian," He walked up to her, grabbed a strand of her hair and pulled lightly, with a taunting voice, he added. "Carrots."

Anne's fingers gripped the slate harder than ever as she flung it to the man's head. It was small and thin, so it didn't cause severe damage, but the slate broke in half with a nasty 'crack' that pleased her a bit too much.

"How dare you!" She yelled in drunk anger. "I don't know who the hell you are, but I'm certain no one would have sex with a jerk!"

She stormed off, giving Gilbert no opportunity to apologize. Although he didn't seem to mind that much at the moment, the things around him spun once more and he had to return to the toilet to vomit what was left of his evening drinks, dreading the following morning.

___________________

Anne, Cole, and Diana returned home with rosy cheeks and loud laughter surrounding them. The trio intoxicated in happiness and many, many margaritas and shots.

"Best night ever!" Anne yelled as she let herself fall on the couch, kicking off her shoes.

"Told you it was going to be fun!" Diana grinned, laying beside her.

"My favorite part was to find Ruby making out with the waiter when I went to ask for the check," Cole cackled. "No wonder why she abandoned you in the bathroom!"

"Don't even tell me about it, I had the most unpleasant encounter–"

"Oh my god!" Diana sat up, looking at her phone with wide eyes. "It's four in the morning! We have to be back in Avonlea in less than eight hours!"

Cole and Anne groaned.

"Can't we have a nap first? We packed all of our things already!" Anne whined.

"Please?" Cole fell on the couch opposite to them. "I'm exhausted!"

"Fine..." Diana sighed. "But I'm certain my mom's gonna kill me for arriving late."

"What can she do? Forbid you to go to their Christmas dinner?" Cole chuckled. "Just sleep, Diana."

"Goodnight, guys."

"Goodnight!"

"Sweet dreams," Anne mumbled, half-asleep.

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[hopelikethemoon]

a night out (Javier x Reader) [smut]

Title: a night out  Rating: explicit  Warnings: mild angst, smut (oral sex f receiving, non-explicit sex), fluff, Daddy!Javi Summary: A year later, Reader and Javier go out to dinner with the Murphys and their friends.  Notes: Set in 1994. Part six of maybe today, maybe forever. If you don’t like this, don’t let me know. I didn’t really feel that secure with this little ficlet, but I’m posting it anyways. 

“So how did you guys meet?” Tracy asked as she held onto the straw in her fruity cocktail and sucked at it, looking between you and Javier. To her left, her husband Jeff was wedged into the booth beside her, peering over his thick-rimmed glasses. 

They were friends with Steve and Connie — mostly Connie, since Tracy and her worked the same shifts at the hospital. But so far Steve and Connie were running late for dinner, which meant painfully tense conversation with a couple that were a little too “Florida” for you and Javi. 

“Work.” Javier answered shortly, lifting his bottle of beer and taking a sip. You glanced at him, smirking when you saw the way his eyes were scanning the front of the restaurant — glorified Tiki Bar — for any signs of the Murphys. 

 Jeff snapped his fingers, “That’s right you worked with Steve in Columbia.” He turned to his wife, “Sweetie, Javier and Steve took down Pablo Escobar.” The way he said ‘Javier’ was really starting to grate on your nerves. 

Javier’s beer bottle clinked against the top of the table with a little more effort, brows furrowed. “It wasn’t just Steve and me—”

“I was there too.” You asserted, giving Javier’s thigh a squeeze beneath the table. “I think we’re both glad to be out though.”

Javier nodded, reaching beneath the table to give your hand a squeeze. “It feels good to be back in the states.”

You curled your fingers around your beer bottle and took a swig, rolling your wrist to slosh the beer around inside the bottle. “I think Florida’s heat could almost rival Bogotá.” 

Javi nodded, glancing towards the door again. “So what do you do, Jeff?”

Jeff sat up straighter, adjusting his glasses. “I work at NASA. Been there for about a decade now. It’s an absolute honor.” 

“Cool shit,” Javi hummed. “We took Josie to watch the Columbia launch back in March. I’ve never been bitten by so many goddamn mosqu-“ He shifted, leaning out of the booth to wave at Steve as he and Connie entered the bar.

Finally. 

The six of you settled into the round booth, ordering another round of drinks and — at Jeff’s insisting — a basket of gator bites for the table. 

“So what did you do at the DEA?” Jeff questioned you, wagging a finger in your direction. “Secretary? Typist?”

Connie leaned close to you and whispered, “Sexist.” She masked it well, coughing politely. 

“I worked with Javi and Steve.” You corrected, “Field agent.”

“Oh wow!” Tracy gawked. “That must’ve been so dangerous.”

“I got shot twice.” You said flatly, leaning into Javi as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders. “I lived it though.”

Steve took a drink of his beer before he added, “She was a damn good agent. Kept us in line, well mostly kept Javi in line. I never got into trouble.”

You rolled your eyes, “That’s because you’re not a dumbass like Javier.”

“Baby.” Javier drawled out with a laugh, squeezing your shoulder. 

“How old is your daughter?” Tracy questioned. 

“She turned one last month.” Javier answered, reaching into his back pocket to pull out his wallet. Inside he had a whole fold out plastic sleeve of pictures of her. “That one,” He pointed at the most recent photo. “My pops came over from Texas to celebrate.” It was a picture of the two men holding her hands as they helped her up over a curb. “Never did crawl, rolled right over and started running.”

“That’s because every chance you got, you were trying to teach her how to walk.” You nudged him the ribs. “She’s got him wrapped around her finger.” 

“Wasn’t her first word daddy?” Steve questioned. 

“How could it be anything else?” You laughed, pressing a kiss to Javi’s cheek. “She’s your biggest fan.”

Steve gestured at you with his beer bottle, “Have you decided if we get to be her godparents? Seeing as I’m basically the reason she even exists.”

“Fuck off, Murphy.” Javi quipped as he took a drink. 

“Steve.” Connie chastised. 

“What? It’s the truth.” He shrugged. 

“This sounds like a story.” Jeff said with a jovial laugh. 

Javi flipped Steve off, “It’s not much of a story.” He ran his hand over your back, flashing you a charming grin. “Steve leaving was the kick in the ass I needed to realize how I felt.” 

“Oh, is that the story you’re sticking with?” Steve teased and you quickly interrupted before Javi had the chance to ring his neck. 

“These gator bites were better than I expected,” You remarked, gesturing to the half-eaten basket of food. “They taste like chicken.” 

Javi squeezed your shoulder. “The sauce was good.” He finished off his beer and sat it down, looking around for the waitress. She was very attentive every time Javier called her to the table, which you weren’t the least bit surprised by. 

“So,” Jeff started, trying to keep the conversation alive while the table waited for the entrees. “What are you doing now that you’re out of the DEA?”

“I’ve been working at the local PD off and on.” You answered with a shrug, popping another gator bite into your mouth, wiping your fingers off on the napkin your beer had been sat on. “Consulting, mostly. There’s a pretty big drug scene in Miami, so I’m lending my knowledge.” 

Javier’s hand found yours beneath the table, his fingers curling around yours. He took another swig of beer before answering, “I’m in talks with the DEA. They’ve got an office down the road from our condos, but I haven’t made my mind up.” 

Steve clicked his tongue against his teeth, “I’m sure they’re ready to welcome you back with open arms.” 

He clenched his jaw, which prompted you to squeeze his hand under the table. “I’m sure they’re chomping at the bit.” 

The conversation didn’t make it much further than that, with the waitress bringing the food over. 

“And I brought you some more of the sriracha sauce,” The waitress told Javi with a grin and a too-obvious flutter of her lashes. “I heard you say that you liked it.” 

Javier seemed absolutely oblivious, however. “Uh, thanks.” He looked at the little container of sauce, giving you a sideways look. “What the hell am I supposed to do with this? Put it on my burger?” He questioned you.

You couldn’t help but laugh, nudging him in the ribs. “She was flirting with you.” You plucked the sauce off his plate, sitting in your basket of fried shrimp. “But I can use it.” 

His brows furrowed together as he looked at you, head cocked to the side. “That would explain the prompt service.” 

“The only reason I got a refill was because you waved her down,” Connie remarked with a laugh. 

“I’ve got to say it,” Steve started, shoving a fry into his mouth before using another to gesture between you and Javier. “I didn’t think I’d live to see the day that Javier wouldn’t catch on that some chick was hitting on him.” 

Javier flipped Steve off as he bit into his burger. 

Jeff cleared his throat, “So what was Columbia like? We considered going there for our honeymoon, but went to Paris instead.” 

Your brows shot upwards and you tried hard to resist the urge to laugh. That, right there, summed up the two WASPS that the Murphys had invited to dinner. There was no chance in hell that they’d considered Columbia for their honeymoon.

Steve shoved another fry into his mouth, “Hot as shit.” 

You nodded in agreement, “Almost as hot as Florida. Not quite as sticky.” 

“We had fun though, didn’t we Javi?” Steve peered around you and Connie to look at Javi. “Looking forward to getting back at it.”

“Yeah.” Javier seemed tense beside you and you arched a curious brow at him. He’d only finished half of his burger and didn’t seem particularly keen to finish it. 

“You good?” You whispered, giving his knee a squeeze beneath the table.

He gave a short nod of his head, sighing heavily. “Anyone got a light?” 

Jeff, of course, produced one — passing it across the table. Javier snatched it from him and slid out of the booth promptly. 

“I thought he stopp—” Connie started.

“He did.” You slid out after him. In fact, you knew he didn’t even have a cigarette on him.

“Gotta make sure that waitress doesn’t follow after him. Right?” Jeff remarked to the table and only Tracy laughed as you left. 

You followed Javier out the backdoor of the bar to a patio area that was used for shitty outdoor seating during the summer. They’d gone a little heavy-handed with the tiki theme, but that was over half of the bars in Florida. 

“Don’t worry,” Javier remarked as he turned around to face you, hands on his hips. “I’m not smoking. I just needed some goddamn air.” 

“Columbia?” You questioned, folding your arms across your chest as you approached him.

“I fucking hate talking about it.” He flexed his jaw, staring down at the ground.  

“I know.” You stopped in front of him, reaching up to brush your fingers over his jaw. “Steve means well.”

Javier sighed, turning his face so he could kiss your palm. “Yeah, he does. I don’t know how to tell him that I don’t want back in.”

“You just tell him that.”

“It’s not that easy, baby.” He reached out and rested a hand on your waist, squeezing gently. “I know he wants us to be partners again. Just like old times.” Javi shook his head. “So much shit happened in Columbia that I’m not proud of.”

You nodded your head understandingly. “You’re going to have to tell him.”

“I know.” Javier dragged his fingers through his hair, shaking his head slowly. “Shit.” 

“It doesn’t have to be a hard no.” You suggested gently. “Maybe in a couple of months you’ll decide you do want back in.” You traced your fingertips along his jaw, scratching lightly at the scruff that had started to grow in there. “He knows how much you enjoy staying home with Josie.” 

“I’m in a good place, you know?” Javier questioned you, his teeth digging into his bottom lip as he glanced away. “The DEA expects so much out of a person.” He let out an incredulous chuckle. “Went down there for that meeting and they were going on and on about my record. How I’d do anything for the case down there.” He looked back at you then. “I’ve got you and Josie to worry about now. I don’t want to sell my soul just to bag another drug lord.” 

You reached out and took his hand into yours as you stepped closer to him. “It’s a shame the sitter just paged us.” You suggested with a faint smirk on your lips. 

Javier glanced down at the pager on his hip before his eyes slowly lifted to meet yours again, a brow arching upwards curiously. “We’ve still got to pay Melissa if we go back early.” 

“I didn’t say we were going home.” 

He brushed a lock of hair behind your ear, grinning down at you. “Goddamn, I love you.” 

You leaned up and kissed him, your fingers curling around the back of his neck as you let it linger longer than necessary. 

“Everything alright out here?”

It was the waitress. Of course it was the waitress. 

“We’re good,” You answered, looping your arm around Javier’s waist. 

“Smoke break.” Javier added, flicking the zippo on for show. “Ready to go back in?” He glanced down at you.

“Yep.” You kept his hand in yours as you made your way back to the table. Steve looked a little paler than he had when you left, giving you and Javi a wary look like maybe Connie had told him off for pushing at the DEA thing. You’d already mentioned to Connie that you didn’t think Javier was ready to get back into the DEA — which you had hoped she’d relay back to Steve in that way wives (or partners) did to get the point across. 

“Unfortunately,” Javier started as he pulled his wallet out of his back pocket. “Melissa’s having a hell of a time putting Miss Josie back to sleep after a nightmare.”

“Oh no!” Tracy said — like she actually cared. “That’s so terrible.” 

“So, we’re going to head out.” You explained as Javier threw down money to cover your meals and the tip. 

“Don’t forget your share of the gator bites.” Jeff reminded Javier and he glowered as he tossed another couple bucks down on the table.

Connie slid out of the booth and hugged you goodbye. “Are we good?”

You nodded as you pulled back. “It’ll be fine.” 

She let out a breath of relief. “Thank God.” 

“You know, Javi.” You shrugged. 

Jeff dug around in his wallet for a business card, passing it to Javi with an offer to hang out and play golf someday soon. The business card ended up in the first trashcan you passed on the way back to the car. 

“How the hell do the Murphys put up with them?” He lamented as he settled into the driver’s seat, shutting off the music just as some country singer started to croon. 

You laughed, “I have no idea. Maybe Tracy’s cooler away from her husband.” 

“Are you cooler away from me?” He questioned, one hand on the steering wheel on the other on your thigh. It still annoyed the shit out of you when he traced those little circles against your leg, but you never brought it up. 

You considered the question for a moment, humming thoughtfully. “I don’t know. You’re not a pocket protector, so I don’t think your presence affects my coolness.” 

Javier chuckled, glancing at you as he rolled up to the stop sign. “So, we’ve got about an hour to kill… What’d you have planned?”

Pushing your fingers through your hair, you looked out the window. “Think the ice cream place on the boardwalk is still open?”

Javier glanced at his wristwatch, “If we head over there now I think you’re in luck, baby.” He squeezed your leg and started in that direction. 

“Needless to say,” You started, settling down onto the bench beside Javi, licking a drop of ice cream off your fingers as they curled around your cone. “I think we narrowly dodged a lifetime of Bunko weekends.”

“Bunko and golf.” He dramatically shuddered, nudging your leg with his. “Can you imagine me golfing?” He snorted. 

You made a face, “I’d have to check to see if you were an alien.” 

Javier clicked his tongue against his teeth, before sweeping his tongue over his ice cream. Which you watched, with rapt attention. “Was that waitress really flirting with me?”

You tilted your head back and laughed. “It was obnoxious.” You licked at your ice cream before adding, “After she seated us, her shirt got about four inches lower.” 

“It didn’t even phase me.” He admitted with a shrug of his shoulders.

“Awww,” You said teasingly. “Javi, do you love me?”

“Shut up,” He rolled his eyes and slapped your leg playfully. 

“If you make me drop my ice cream—“

“You’ll what?” He leaned over and licked your ice cream. 

“Son of a bitch!”

Javier chuckled. “Such loving words.”

You started to offer him a bit of turn about, but he got you in the nose with his ice cream instead. “Jackass.” You groused, wiping your nose off. 

He shrugged and laughed. “If the shoe fits.”

“You’re lucky you're handsome.” You said dryly. “Even though everyone makes it obvious.” 

“As long as you think I’m handsome, I think I’m good.” Javier remarked, patting your leg. “This was nice.”

You nodded, “Much better than tiki bar chic.” Your eyes flickered towards his face, lingering on his lips. “I really hope Josie stays asleep when we get home.”

“Me too.” Javier’s fingers danced along your inner thigh through your jeans. He leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to your lips. “We’ve got to get the sitter more often.”

“For more than just nights out with Steve and Connie.” You scooted closer to him, resting your cheek on his shoulder. The sun had dipped below the horizon hours ago, but the constant ebb and flow of the ocean as it met the coast line could be heard through darkness. 

Javier draped his arm over your shoulders, fingers curling around your shoulder and giving it three little squeezes. “Florida’s not so bad.” He remarked, scratching at his jaw as he stared out into the darkness beyond the boardwalk. 

“It feels like home.” You mused. 

“Anywhere with you and Josie feels like home, baby.” He kissed the top of your head. 

 ——

You tiptoed down the hallway from Josie’s nursery, giving Javier a thumbs up as he stood outside of the bedroom. “Out cold, with her thumb still in her mouth.” You whispered, stopping in front of him, you breath a little shaky as you looked up at him.

“Good.” He brushed his fingertips over your forehead, pushing hair back behind your ears. Javier hooked his fingers into your belt loops, pulling you close as he leaned down to catch your lips. 

You curled a hand around the back of his neck, your other hand working at the buttons of his shirt. 

Javi groaned against your lips, walking backwards further into the bedroom. You managed to get the shirt unbuttoned, shoving it down his arms and abandoning it on the floor. 

You nipped lightly on his bottom lip, moving forward until the backs of his legs hit the edge of the bed. 

He reluctantly stopped kissing you, sitting back onto the bed as his eyes raked over you in the dim light of your bedroom, illuminated only by the bedside lamp. 

You peeled off your shirt, tossing it aside as you stood between his legs. 

“You are fucking gorgeous,” Javier drawled out as he leaned in to press a kiss a path down your stomach, his hands smoothing over your sides. He bit at the soft flesh of your stomach, his teeth scraping lightly before his tongue soothed over it. Heat pooled between your thighs and a moan escaped you as he slid one hand up to roughly palm at your breast through your bra. 

Javier pulled you close, dragging down you onto the bed with him and you couldn’t help but giggle as he rolled you over, caging you beneath him. He covered your mouth, shushing you with a wry grin and you stuck your tongue out and licked his palm. You reached down to work at getting his pants off, but he caught your hand and pinned it to the bed above your head. “Javi.” 

“I have plans.” He told you, dipping down to kiss you. “Keep your hands right there.” Javier started kissing down your throat as he unclasped the front of your bra, cupping your breasts.

You drew in a ragged breath as you kept your hands above your head, fingers grabbing at the blanket beneath you as he kept kissing lower and lower. He peeled off your jeans and underwear off — tossing them over the side of the bed. 

His mouth descended upon your slick cunt, his tongue delving between your folds. It killed you to not be able to thread your fingers through his hair as he ate you out. You bit down on your bottom lip, trying not to cry out as he sucked lightly at your clit. The last thing you wanted was to accidentally wake Josie up — not when you were so close. 

“Fuck.” You breathed out, ignoring his request as you reached down to grab at his hair. Your inner walls were already starting to pulse around nothing as he lavished you sensitive little bud with attention. You rolled your hips, desperate for more. He stopped abruptly. 

Javier pulled back, his lips glistening with your arousal. “Didn’t I tell you to keep your hands above your head?”

“Javier.” You said sharply, tugging at his hair. “Don’t tease.” 

He dipped down and pressed a kiss to each of your thighs, before he sat back on his knees. You leaned up on your elbows, chewing on your bottom lip as you watched him get off the bed to take off his jeans and boxers. You still had to marvel at the fact that Javier Peña was yours.

If someone had told you five years ago when you started in Columbia that you would end up the mother of Javier Peña’s daughter and become the woman who went to sleep beside him every night… you would have laughed your ass off. The very fact that he now seemed oblivious to the women flirting with him was even more hilarious. You had seen him in action at bars before, you knew exactly how he operated. But now he was all yours and he’d changed — on his own — for the better. Who knew fatherhood was what he’d needed to get his act together. 

Javier kissed his way back up your body, hands gripping at your hips as he settled between your thighs. Your back arched as he slid into you — clenching around his cock. He grunted out something that sounded like your name, his face pressed into the crook of your neck. “So good, baby.”

You wrapped one leg around him, rolling your hips to urge him on. There was no real urgency in the way you moved or the languid way he thrust into you. It was the perfect way to close out the day. 

—— 

Javier was already out of bed by the time you woke up — later than you usually did, but you were thankful for the few extra minutes of sleep. You grabbed your housecoat off the back of the door, heading into the kitchen to find him.

He was at the stove flipping pancakes as he hummed along to Fields of Gold as it played over the radio above the sink. Josie was contentedly sitting in her high chair, playing with the small pancake he’d already made for her, pretending to flip it with her plastic spatula. Always trying to be like daddy.

“Morning.” You said warmly as you wrapped your arms around his waist, pressing her cheek against the flat of his shoulder.

He squeezed your hand, “Morning, baby.” Javier turned in your arms, wrapping his own around you. “You sleep well?”

You nodded and grinned. “Did you?”

“Like a rock.” He kissed your forehead before turning his attention back to the pancakes. “Hungry?”

“Starving.” You answered, going over to scoop Josie out of her high chair. She giggled and babbled, mostly making sense in her attempt to tell you that daddy was making pancakes.

“You’re going to need a bath,” You told her, kissing her little palm. “You’re gonna be so sticky.”

“What can she say? She enjoys her food.” He remarked, popping his head over your shoulder — much to Josie’s amusement. “Someone was trying to escape her crib this morning.”

“Oh, Lord.” You made a face at your daughter. “Every day you’re just a new surprise, aren’t you? 

“Da-da-daddy.” She clenched her hands in his direction 

“Here.” You passed her off to him, “I’ll finish the pancakes.” You kissed his cheek as you stepped around him. 

Javier showed Josie in kisses, before he carried her over to the table to sit on his lap while he drank his coffee. “I think I’m gonna call Steve today.”

“Yeah?” You glanced back at him with an arched brow.

“I’m just gonna tell him I’m not ready.” He answered, bouncing Josie on his knee. “Like you said. Maybe in a couple months I’ll want to get back in.” He rubbed at the side of his neck, shrugging. “Might take him out for drinks. Smooth things over.”

“Probably a good idea.” You agreed. 

“No. That’s not for you.” Javier chuckled as he sat his coffee cup further out of Josie’s reach. “I know I was an a-s-s last night.” He told you, spelling out since Josie was there. 

“I mean,” You shrugged a shoulder. “Steve was too. He was definitely baiting to get a rise out of you.” 

Josie crawled her way back up Javi’s lap, nestling against his stomach with her cheek on his chest. He rubbed her back gently, playing with the soft dark curls at the nape of her neck. She had a head of hair not dissimilar from her father’s. 

You shut off the stovetop, before carrying the plates of pancakes over to the table. “Just talk to him, I’m sure he’ll understand.” 

“Talk?” Javier chuckled. “Now, you know we can’t do that.”

“Oh, right.” You laughed as you took Josie out of his arms, putting her back in her highchair. “You’ll just sit at a bar and grunt occasionally. It’ll solve everything.”

“Hey,” He started, gesturing towards Josie. “A lot can come out of a bar. 

You rolled your eyes. “We did make it back to your apartment.” 

Javier grinned at you, “I’m just saying.” 

“You’re ridiculous.” You quipped, looking towards Josie as you cut a piece of pancake for her. “Daddy’s ridiculous, isn’t he? Can you say ridiculous?” 

Josie beamed at you, “Redick-dick.” 

You cringed. “Nope. We’re not going to say that. 

Javier couldn’t help but laugh, “I mean, that’s pretty fuc-... freaking cute.” 

You flipped him off behind Josie’s highchair. “You’re lucky I love you.” 

He grinned at you.