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#anyway im going to bed that was all i had to say
paradiseprincesss · 3 days
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˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗ Tornado Warnings | Jonathan Crane
hi im back! sorry for being so inactive. i'm trying to write whenever i have like a min to breathe from uni...anyways i wanted to write something that feels like fall? does that make sense? probably not LOL
summary — the best thing to do to pass time in a power outage is sex, obviously.
warnings — smut, p in v, unprotected sex, creampie, oral (f!receiving), super soft lover boy jonathan, fluff
word count — 1.8k
masterlist
MDNI 18+ ONLY
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“Oh.”
Your voice cut through the silence in Jonathan and yours’ shared, cozy bedroom as the previously dimly lit room was now consumed in total darkness. “I don’t like this,” you said to your boyfriend who was beside you in bed as you tossed your book down, “I was trying to read.” 
A tornado warning for Gotham was issued earlier, but they said that’s all it was — just a warning. However, the turbulent wind clearly had some effect on your home, as the power was now out. Like you said to Jonathan; you were just trying to read, but it seemed like Mother Nature had other plans. 
Plus, you weren’t a big fan of the dark. Couldn’t the power have gone off at any other time besides nearly midnight? 
“You’re funny, you know that?” Jonathan said with a chuckle, and if you could’ve seen him right now, you knew you’d see him smiling. You heard some shuffling as Jonathan reached over, presumably to grab his phone, and turning on the flashlight. “Stay here, I’m going to grab some candles to light.” 
“I’m scared,” you whined. “I hate the dark.”
“You’ll live,” he teased, getting up before leaving the room for a few minutes until he returned, candles in hand. “Good thing you insisted we go to Target and get all these candles for fall.” 
For someone as malicious and unhinged as he was, his tough exterior would crack (more like completely shatter) when he was around you. Since Jonathan is constantly consumed by his work, he likes to spend time with you as much as he can when he isn’t at Arkham (and poisoning Gotham) working late. So, that means if you want to get Starbucks and go shopping for fall candles at Target — he’s there. 
No questions asked.
Sure, he may have been a corrupt psychiatrist as well as a hardened criminal and one of Gotham’s many rogues, but that didn’t mean he didn’t want to do domestic things with his girlfriend. On Saturday nights, he would be working till the early hours of the morning with his patients and his toxin — only to spend the following Sunday wrapped up in bed with you watching silly Netflix shows.
The best of both worlds is how Jonathan would put it. 
“You always say I have too many,” you huffed, to which he laughed softly, lighting the 3-wick candles.
“That’s because you have like, what, fifty? Our entire house smells like maple pecan waffles all the time, twenty-four-seven — but you get so excited over them. It’s cute. I love watching you get all excited over this kind of stuff.” 
You blushed at his words, looking over at his handsome face, now illuminated by the dim light of multiple lit candles placed throughout your bedroom. “Shut up,” you mumble, watching him get back into bed with you. “Just come here and love me.”
He looked at you with those heart-stopping blue eyes of his, pulling you in for a soft kiss. Instinctively, you wrapped your around his shoulders, deepening the kiss. “I’ve missed you,” he said between kisses, dragging them down your neck and nipping gently at the delicate skin. “Hate when work keeps me away from you, my dear.”
“I know,” you said quietly, eyes fluttering shut from the feeling of his lips against your skin. “I hate it, too. I…” You felt yourself losing your train of thought as his hands roamed your body, settling on your waist as you two lay cozied up in the bed. 
“Let me show you how much I’ve missed you, my darling,” he whispered, squeezing your waist gently as you rested your head comfortably against the pillows, lying back. “All I could think about at work was you. All alone at home…waitin’ for me.” 
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
He left a trail of kisses all down your body, slowly building up to where you wanted him to go. Luckily for Jonathan, tonight — even amid a tornado warning — you decided to wear your favourite lace slip to bed with nothing underneath, making it all the more easy for him to access every part of you. 
Within minutes, he had you slipping out of your lace as you tossed the delicate garment somewhere onto the bedroom floor with only one thing on your mind right now. The rather intimate and romantic lighting from the collection of candles dimly lighting up the room wasn’t helping your case either. 
Jonathan’s intoxicating touch brought you back to reality, and you weren’t sure how it happened (not that you care how it came to be), but his hands were gently resting on your thighs as he lay between your legs, his crystalline blue eyes filled with hunger. 
At this very moment, you sent a silent thank you to Mother Nature for causing this to happen during ovulation week because yes, you were so horny that your glistening cunt was dripping onto the bedsheets underneath you and he hadn’t even touched you there yet. All you knew was that you needed to be touched, to be fucked, to be loved right now and thank god Jonathan was here to satisfy that primal need in you. 
“Please, Jon — we haven’t had sex in like two days,” you whined, causing him to let out a breathless laugh as he smiled sweetly at you. He may have found it funny that you were this desperate (after only 48 hours…) but you didn’t find a thing about this situation humorous. With your hormones clouding your judgment, you started to beg your loving boyfriend. “Come on Jonathan, I–”
Before you could muster up any more whines and pleas, he licked a fat stripe up your already soaking cunt, swiping his tongue through your folds as you arched your back and let out a guttural moan.
“O-oh—“ 
He lapped up your cunt skillfully as his hands kept a firm grip on your thighs, making sure that he was eating you out until you couldn’t take it anymore. “Delicious,” he mumbled against your cunt, continuing to lick, nip, and eat your pussy out as if it was the last thing he’d ever get to do in this lifetime. 
Mere minutes in and you were already arching your back, breathlessly saying his name over and over again — he could never get tired of hearing you like this. The way you’d feverishly moan “Oh, Jonathan,” and occasionally if you were exceptionally into it, you’d sometimes call him “baby,” and that always wound him up. Jonathan could spend ages with his face buried between your thighs, but it seemed that you were already close to coming pretty quickly. 
“Yes! Please–” you frantically moaned, feeling the waves of your release starting to wash over you with his tongue deep inside your soaking hole, lapping up all your juices. “Jon, baby, I’m gonna…”
Jonathan continued to eat you out as if he were a starved man through your orgasm, letting you ride it out and rut against his face until you were pushing his head away softly from the slight overstimulation. After getting up from between your legs, he wiped your arousal off of his chin, looking at you as if you were the answer to his every prayer. 
“God, you’re like a dream,” he said softly, causing your cheeks to heat up. 
Before any more romantic words could roll off the tip of his tongue, you were helping him out of his black pyjama shirt and his checkered pyjama pants (and yes, you found his love of checkered pyjama pants adorable). As soon as you tugged his pyjama pants down, his cock sprung out, slapping his stomach lightly.
“Fuck, look how hard you get me, darling,” he praised, stroking himself a few times before lining himself up with your drooling hole. He smirked as he teased the tip of his cock against your folds, watching you make a mess of the sheets underneath you just from how wet you were alone once again. “Looks like you’ve been missing me too, hm darling?” 
“So bad,” you agreed with a whimper, which turned straight into a moan as he started to push the head of his cock in. He let you get adjusted to him as you slowly took him inch by inch until you were full with his thick cock, walls stretching to accommodate his size.
“F-fuck, so f..full,” you choked out as he started to move slowly, warm hands coming to hold your hips as he gently started fucking you in the candlelight. 
“But you take it so well, darling,” he cooed softly, fucking you with a bit more force now. “Such a good girl, fuck. Look at you, taking my cock so deep.” 
“Mmm,” you mindlessly babbled, his fat cock causing you to lose all inhibitions as he (literally) fucked you stupid. “Oh, b-big–” 
As you squeaked out whatever words you could form, he let out a low groan himself, starting to really pound your warm, tight hole. You could feel his tip brushing up against that spongy spot inside of you, which in return caused you to start moaning almost helplessly.
“Right there?” He teased, watching your face contort in pure bliss and pleasure. “That feel good, darling? Jesus, you’re so pretty…”
He choked out a few incohesive curses as he felt you tighten up around him while he talked you through it, clearly already close from him plowing your cunt for just a few minutes. This was usually the best type of sex between you and Jonathan — whenever you two would just ravish each other in bed all…lovingly. Extra points if it was romantic like this; under the candlelight in a power outage. 
“Yes! Fuck, keep going, Jon,” you hoarsely screamed out as he fucked you raw, slamming his cock into your tight little cunt as you got close to your second orgasm and he was following right behind you.
“So tight,” he mumbled. “Perfect fucking pussy, so fucking good—” 
“Gon’ cum..I’m gonna–!” You whined before your vision went white, cunt clenching down around his length as you drenched him and the sheets. 
Jonathan looked down in awe as a clear liquid poured out of you, spilling all over him, his cock, and the sheets. The sight of you squirting that much sent his brain into overdrive as he gave a few more sloppy thrusts before spurting his warm, sticky cum onto your plush walls. As he filled your cunt, he let out a rather loud groan, gripping your hips so tight it almost hurt. 
For a moment, all was still and silent as the two of you caught your breaths in the now slightly stuffy bedroom that smelt like a mix of sex and whatever pumpkin-spiced and cinnamon-scented candles you had going. Jonathan was the first to speak as he finally pulled out of you, careful not to hurt you, and pulled you close into his arms the second he laid back down beside you. 
“I’m never going to stop you from getting your candles ever again,” he decided jokingly, kissing the top of your head. 
“See,” you said proudly, “they set the mood and they smell good.” 
“True,” he said, pausing for a moment before looking down at the soaked bedding then back at you with a smile. “So, we should probably clean the sheets…”
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@hfidnnf
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literaila · 18 hours
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Need more gojo reader smoochfest
“remember this one?”
you’re a little bit dizzy, by now. you can’t remember how long, or when all of this started—but the end result isn’t necessarily unpleasant.
you hadn’t wanted to join nanami and shoko (and gojo whoever that is) for a drink—after a long day, three too many outfit changes, and a bed that you missed like an old childhood friend.
but your complaints are only partially heard, and satoru tends to drag you along wherever he goes, like a doll.
currently, though, you don’t really mind that.
gojo is not drunk, but you definitely are.
that’s why, mind you, when satoru spins you around again on the sticky linoleum floor, in this shitty bar that is definitely too small for dancing—you stumble a little.
but satoru’s hand is right there on your waist, keeping you steady and making sure that you don’t run into anyone that could be passing by.
usually he would let you trip and fall and spill someone’s drink down their shirt—because that would be hilarious—but you’re drunk, and he’s not and…
he enjoys taking care of you, when he gets the chance.
“no,” you say, giggling, when you’re spun back to him. “but i don’t think you should do it again.”
he’s grinning down at you. “why not?”
“because i might puke.”
satoru snorts, slowing his dancing down a little bit—because you really are swaying. “cute.”
“i know. aren’t you glad you married me?”
his eyes are covered but they’re sparkling (or you’re hallucinating). “very glad,” he says, with all the swagger that his seventeen year old self had.
that is to say, absolutely none.
but you lean in anyway, drunk and giddy and sweet, and brush your nose against his.
and satoru complies, like he always does, so his breath tickles your mouth and one of his hand finds its way to your jaw.
you kiss him once, just a slight peck, and pull back. you’ve always been a tease, but you usually reserve it for at home.
not now, though, when he’s so focused on only you, and so close that he could swallow you whole.
dancing always reminds you of satoru proposing, of letting him guide you wherever he wants to go in some sick metaphor about love and torture, the cure and the curse.
and, goddamnit, you’ve always been a sappy drunk. you’re going to regret this in the morning—especially because satoru has the upper hand here.
you told him you loved him for the first time because you were drunk.
and so, “i think im in love you,” you say now, again, just to get him to smile.
“then don’t tease me,” his tone is stern, a bit whiny, but you can see his dimples now.
“it’s so fun, though.”
“everything’s fun when you’re drunk.”
“tipsy.”
“okay, baby.”
“and everything’s fun with you.”
satoru’s mouth opens, his canines glittering in the dim light of the bar, and then he scoffs, “you—“ but he never finishes the sentence because his hand moves to the back of your head and he’s kissing you again.
you settle on your tip toes to reach him, sighing as he pulls you closer.
and you’re not moving now, nonetheless dancing, but who the hell cares?
satoru bites at your bottom lip, as punishment for being in love with him, and allows you to wrap your hands around his neck, drawing circles with your fingertips.
your body is so heavy and uneven, but it’s easy to kiss him like this. you’re not self conscious about the other people because satoru will keep them away from you both, and you’re not worried about breathing because why would you need to breathe when you could be kissing him?
still, eventually he pushes you back, setting his hands on your shoulders so you don’t fall. and he grins at you again, cheeky. “i think i love you, too.”
“oh, good. or this would be awkward.”
he kisses you again, a bit softer, but it’s not even a kiss, really.
because you’re both just laughing into each other, and everything seems so funny for a moment that you just let it happen. if you could rank the moments in time, kissing satoru like this would be very close to the top.
and someone probably shouts at you to get a room—but who cares anyway?
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matchagirliris · 3 days
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“my darling” kuroo X Reader oneshot
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Summary: you dated back in highschool and never took him seriously and essentially now it’s timeskip of you two meeting again on unexpected terms
[based on yet again another song, This time it’s “love is a laserquest” by Arctic monkeys (my fav band ^~^) anyways hope you enjoy: happy ending? idk anywho, matcha girl out :p]
Coming back from being in the states for work to japan was exciting you missed kenma and all your friends back home It had been a few years since you left for America to go to college and work. Unfortunately you did dread of seeing a past lovers. More specifically Kuroo you never took the poor boy seriously back in highschool you had no reason too you were gonna leave anyways. He knew that but he couldn’t help the fact that he fell so hard. The day you left he didn’t really know what to do with himself he knew it was coming he knew that you didn’t take him seriously. He understood the circumstances that came with being with you in highschool so you couldn’t really say it was completely on you.
As your best friend kenma comes and picks you up from the airport to take you to the house you had bought in japan before you left and asked him to keep maintenance for you while you were gone. As you guys are on the ride home you ask “how’s the house?” you turn to look at him “uhm to be honest i don’t really know” he looks a bit terrified while driving.“YOU HAVENT BEEN KEEPING UP WITH IT?!” you sorta yell at him worried that your house is in shambles. “Well no, i wasn’t supposed to tell you but i asked kuroo to keep up with it for me…” he says sorta worried about how’d you feel about the guy you played in highschool taking care of your place much less making sure it was prepared for you when you came back. “oh. he’s doing it for me?” you say sorta feeling bad about how you treated him, it’s not that he didn’t know it was going to be like that you were just sad that he still tried for you like he always had always trying to make you understand how serious he was about you. As kenma drops you off at your house handing you your keys and hugging you goodbye you slowly make your way into the house, looking at how nice and clean it was you smiled softly but you felt sad. The guy you hurt the most in highschool because you never took anything seriously but your career still cared for you like he did before even though his life is probably just as busy as yours, He always made time for you. As you get ready for bed falling asleep soundly in your room you can help but dream about him and you and the memories you had in highschool.
You wake up hearing a faint noise outside “who the fuck is cutting grass this early in the morning?” you get up groggy in your pjs and walk outside seeing who it is, it was none other than kuroo cutting your grass assuming you weren’t here yet and was just here for weekly maintenance “y/n?” he says startled to see you here at all wondering why kenma didn’t tell him. You immediately freeze in your tracks as your stomach drops not knowing what to say you run back inside not wanting to face him after all these years looking like this. Why did you care how we saw you all of a sudden? anyways you run into the shower and try to look decent but in your head your hoping he’d be done before you got out so you wouldn’t have to face him once more. As you peek out your window he’s still there doing yard work, looking good while doing it at that. You snap out of your stupid delusional and decided to fix him up something since you feel sort of bad about all of this and decided makes it’s time to talk you walk outside facing kuroo one more time “Hey kuroo i fixed you something, im sorry for scaring you earlier i was just shocked to see you” you nervously say with a half smile “no worries y/n it’s all fine to be honest i wouldn’t have showed up and did this if kenma told me you were already here i just came to do the weekly check up you know?” he says walking up to you “Thank you for keeping up with the house even though it wasn’t your job ill reimburse you for everything if you’d like” you say and he laughs “no it’s all good i did this just to keep me busy i guess” he half smiles with a bit of sadness in his face. You both take a sit outside on the little table you had out there as his eating the snack you fixed up for him with grass stains on his face and sweat beads on his forehead you can’t help but notice how handsome he’s gotten. He looks up at you and says “Do you still feel younger than you thought you did by now? or darling have you started feeling old yet?” he laughs a bit “don’t worry i’m sure that you’re still breaking hearts with the efficiency that only youth can harness” he says has his smile slowly dims, you respond “and do you still think love is a laserquest?”
“what about you y/n do you take it all more seriously now? You know i’ve tried to ask you this in someday dream that i had, but you’re always busy being make believe.” he says taken you back, you look at him sideways with even more sadness than you did before in the morning “and do you look in the mirror to remind yourself your there or does somebody’s goodnight kisses got that covered?” you respond.
“when im not being honest i pretend that you were just some lover, now i can’t think of [your fav thing or place] without thinking of you i doubt that comes as a surprise.” he says “and i can’t think of anything to dream about, i can’t find anywhere to hide” you responded with your head rested in your hands feeling overwhelmed. You both sit there for a moment in time which felt like years but truly only lasted a minute “i’m sorry kuroo. I’m sorry for everything and the way i treated you back in highschool i was so dumb and focused on something in the future and taking the then for granted.” you say lightly crying “you didn’t deserve any of that you treated me so well and still do i didn’t realize how much love i had for you till i left but i thought it was too late” you say breaking down fully at that point kuroo sat there in shocked seeing how much you changed how you weren’t that girl that didn’t care about guys and only wanted a simply good time, how now you were a girl that had everything she wanted expect genuine love his eyes softened at her he got up and hugged her tightly “it’s okay y/n you were young and had goals and didn’t want anyone to get in the way of that even if you wanted simply pleasure at the time i still knew you were a good person, to tell the truth i always hope you’d come back and we’d be able to have this conversation that you’d come back for me and im happy it was later than never.” he says hugging you. You stare up at him with teary eyes….
“i love you kuroo, can we start again?” you say softly “id love too my darling more than anything.” he says happy to have you back and this time fully and for real.
(rushed ending im sorry LOL)
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i wish mythic quest wasnt on apple tv
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faaun · 2 months
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we sang in the aeroplane over the sea tgth ☆
#27% circle line with a lovely friend of mine rail tracks screeching etc etc u know the usual. im just gonna write down memories#a few weeks ago my friend read thus spoke zarathustra by the fire to the music she was dancing it was her silhouette#against the flashlight lit up gold and royal blues and tiger's silk i tried not to fall in love with her. in bordeaux we searched#for pomegranates he sent her 300 quid by the beach she cut it open with a knife her hand covered in red we each had a taste of her work#sweet red wet the sweetest grit. too barely clothed to go into the cliffside church they painted my eyes we painted hers#8 shots of gin she screamed joyfully IT'S ALIVE! at the book she said become the child i said i feel like a monster she said i was insane#i tried to believe her. fortified wine and later a red pen crossword defiled by humidity her hair in my hands two king sized beds#pushed next to each other she took her top off she told us to watch her arms raised up the musculature on her back was precise cut from#marble we saw oceans we saw the birds take cold baths the midnight sun over a wasp-infested pool our chemicals in their bodies#gold flakes dark skin gold cross shoulders against mine drawing some form of each other on the train i didn't hesitate#to say her eyes were beautiful over and over monks at the soapshop with titanium credit cards i loved you like i loved no other#he tied his hair up and walked us into the river he held a bullet between his lips i never held his hand he said what an honour#you own too much capital your mother thinks i'm a natural i realised i haven't told my mother i loved her in years she's always been mother#never mom i'll watch you watch seaweeds this is terminal akrasia i'll feel your fingers smear perfume on my lips your girlfriend grins#bite into the straw take the shot hold my hand get it all wrong draw in the sand kiss him right stab through leather shower in chlorine#you're the determinable vicissitude is all yours we won the Game AND the Battle AND the War i'm proud of you like crazy we feed each other#saffron cliffside lovers well-fallen brothers fat cats blue windows southwest sun ALife SynBio design aXAA grow us a city in silico#we've grown to the ends of glee fire-jumper ocean-eater sure-footed lists on lists hands on eyelids не устану искать тебя#...anyway ive put my face on this blog b4 but hiii again#feel free to rb btw the rants r not personal
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dipplinduo · 5 months
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Fun fact about me: April 18th is my birthday! :)
And part of what I wanted to do to celebrate this year was to give back. Introducing * ~ a dipplinshipping birthday oneshot ~ * :
Rating: T
Summary:
Today was Kieran's birthday, but it was the last thing that mattered to him. In fact, he vowed it would never matter to him again. Instead, he would focus on things that would keep him strong: his battling, his strategizing, and his crown as the Blueberry Champion. His sister and the Elite Four won't stop asking him random questions, though, and if anyone brings up Juliana any more than they already have since she arrived as an exchange student, he's seriously going to lose it. But...why can't he stop thinking about her? And why is everyone acting so suspicious?!
A bittersweet birthday celebration fic for anyone who's had complicated feelings about their birthday. <3
Take this as a thank you to all of those who have followed my work and/or my Tumblr blog. I wouldn't have imagined having the support of this wonderful community on my last birthday, and I can't even begin to describe how encouraged and inspired I have felt to write since finding you guys. I have never written this much for this long, consistently, and your constant feedback and comments seriously brighten my day more than Juliana brightens up Kieran, LOL. Hope you enjoy this! <333
(And yeah, this fic is the "event based idea" that this poll was about. I thought it was so funny that some of you thought it was gonna be some devastating angst LMAOOOO. That's for after TTPD releases, tysm for the bday gift Taylor.)
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angelpuns · 4 months
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Raughhh I'm fine rn but frustrating to think that I haven't been able to like - just relax and enjoy things lately cause I'm too busy overthinking and having a constant anxiety attack ( exaggeration ) about nothing
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dawnthefluffyduck · 2 months
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Sunday doodles
#you ever just *puts feet on the wall*#or sit upside down off the side of your bed#i saw a post earlier this week I've been trying to find about fearing god#i read it but didn't have time to share my thoughts and i forgot to save it to my drafts so i lost it#anyway they talked about fearing god in service today#the overlap of related events like this scares me all the time#like... i know this stuff just happens and they had this sermon planned for months and it's coincidental#''but what if god is actually real and this is him trying to talk to me? what if he's trying to move me back on track?''#that's something i can't help but think#i'm starting to think I'll never know what is real and whether there's a god and if i really am setting myself up to burn in hell#i have to make a choice whether to leave my friends and hide who I am and go back to the church#or be myself and enjoy my time alive knowing what could be waiting for me when I go#I know that sounds extremely dramatic but it's something I think about a lot#it's one thing for someone to have never gotten to known God#but some say that the one unforgivable sin - the only thing that can keep you out of heaven forever...#...is knowing god and accepting him in your heart but then turning your back on him#I've done those rituals; been baptized and taken communion and said the famous prayer#if that unforgivable sin is true then I guess i've already made my choice; there really is no going back for me haha#damn right that god is scary lol#not tagging the game because I monolouged too much lmao#doodles#sunday doodles#depressing sunday doodle posts have arrived once again#dw im chilling today just lost in thought#was able to put in pto so i get the day to reflect on the very important things 21 year olds think about#things like ''what could've been'' and ''how do i want to draw my next fluffy boy''
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britneyshakespeare · 4 months
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screw whatever else i've said; the most important thing you can do in this lifetime is watch tv
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jorvikzelda · 6 months
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today i had this Vivid memory flash through my mind of kissing my ex boyfriend (this was like 2018) and i felt so viscerally fucking revolted and I gotta say. it is truly impressive that I didn’t realise I’m a lesbian sooner than fucking half a year ago
#z talks#like the misidentifying as ace was Inevitable i think. that was due to repression that realising i didnt like men would not have fixed#(context: id’d as bi ace like. i wanna say 2016/17-2021/22 sometime and then went into ace and Questioning)#remember the time i really solidly settled on being aro because ‘romance has never not felt like a chore and putting on a facade’#babe no thats because your most recent and also singular long term relationship was with a Man#and thats the only one youre looking back on#its so funny how i dated a guy and it was so thoroughly Meh that i just didnt feel like pursuing anything romantic for a very long time#(A REACTION I HAD NOT HAD AFTER MY PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS WITH GIRLS)#And DIDN’T somehow consider that maybe I just Didn’t Like Guys#its nothing i grieve or feel sad about dw its honestly mostly funny to look back on#no wrongs were committed and i dont hold a grudge against the guy it was just me being confused and compheted#(…which is also a weird word to apply because at the time i identified and was out to my friends as a trans guy Binary.#This Was Also Wrong.)#was a weird time man. a truly weird time#anyway. all is well i have now been on 2 dates with a really cute girl and she gave me tulips <3#as part of a Care Delivery bc i had a Migraine and No Painkillers Or Snacks#get well flowers <333333#and now i dream of kissing her under the moonlight#With the uh. Hornetposting lately it May seem unlikely but yes I DO interact with real women! Romantically!#They coexist Wonderfully <3#Anyway. I’m gonna go to bed#Realising that im a lesbian solved all my identity problems including my fucking gender which is just fantastic#I am very happy and whenever I think of being a lesbian it grounds me to reality a little bit stronger and i go yeah. Yeah.
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milf-harrington · 1 year
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where im at mentally these days: my mum hugged me and said im doing a good job and i burst into tears <3
#i mean it was a little more fleshed out than that#i asked for a hug and she asked if i was okay and i didnt say anything so she said something about me feeling like#untethered. just kind of floating through life. and i said yeah. and she told me im doing a good job like. getting through the day basically#and i cried about it because i dont even know why its so hard#and i feel so shitty all the time because i just feel like a shit person like i dont try hard enough with my nephew#and hes so little and so smart and im so awful and every day im worried hes going to stop liking me bc im still learning how to be. gentle.#because i grew up with yelling and a locked pantry and an older sister who had to raise me#so i dont know how to not yell and not escape into my own world when i cant be bothered#and i have really good days and really terrible days and hes not a Job hes my nephew and i want to treat him like my nephew#and it feels so selfish to say im tired and that its hard and stressful and i dont know what im doing#bc my sister has to do it too and she doesnt get breaks like i do#she doesnt get to just decide to leave for the night - and i mean i dont do that but i have the option#and everyone keeps. like. telling me im doing good and im helpful and my sister especially tells me often shes grateful for me#and it makes me feel Awful bc i feel like i dont do enough and that the stuff i DO isnt good enough and just argh#anyway#vent over i need to go to bed its 1am and i have to get up in 5 hours#captain speaks
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faaun · 6 months
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pls i need to provide updates
#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year#and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire#and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f#friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl#acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what#are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and#friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me!#LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after#everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to#invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me#i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother#and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids#so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo#any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷‍♀️#but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd#and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk#THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date#w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a#few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay#scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK#like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl#like is that even doable#but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much#.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us#god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x#but it would be soooo funny#I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed#popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x#i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like#its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe
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newtness532 · 25 days
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i think i did enough today, if i keep working like that l could be done by the end of next week. i mean tomorrow my mom and my sister will come but they'll leave in the afternoon so i can still study at night and then on Monday i have to go to the hospital again for some paperwork but other than that i have nothing else to do but study
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toytulini · 1 month
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its clean its fucking clean i cleaned it
#toy pic post#undescribed#40gal#then dad dismissed how much fucking effort it took whether intentionally or not and i got so angry cos i already was having to#outsource reward chemicals or whatever the fuck to chocolate covered pretzels and a soda#and i was so overwhelmed from exhaustion and overstimulated to be fucking graciously regulating my emotional responses to him saying#Stupid Shit that i just got so angry i had to sleep#but i was. really determined. to manuafacture some kinda fucking reward. so i played viddygame until i fell asleep#bc that seemed like it would be better for my brain than straight up rage napping#anyway. i will. attempt the 90gal tomorrow. todayrrow. im going to. get up and get a snack and then brush my teeth and go to bed for real#bc i just cant stop fucking Horse Sleeping. i guess#so close#still much to do. i have to do the 90 and put the plants back on top of the 40 but its already so much quieter in here#which is good for me not being driven insane by. the sound of my failure to do a task.#shit i still need to dose fertilizer as well. i will try to do that before i go back to sleep#but i was too fucking angry to be thinking about Ratios of Liquid without exploding so its good i didnt attempt it earlier probably#anyway.POSTIVES: ITS CLEAN. I CAN SEE IN THE TANK AGAIN. THE PLANTS I SHOVED IN THE TOP ARE GROWING CRAZY#EVEN IF THEYRE A BIT UGLY AND LEGGY. I DIDNT FIND ANY DEAD FISH. THE KUHLIS CONSTANTLY SWIMMING UNDER THE ALGAE SCRUBBER#WAS A LITTLE ANNOYING AND INCONVENIENT BUT ALSO. CUTE AND ENDEARING. I LOVE THE STUPID NOODLE ANIMALS#i got a lot done today even if it wasnt all i wanted and many of the tasks were tiny. it got the big fucking task done that was hanging ove#over my head for weeks and making me feel intensely guilty. and now its so QUIET. like the 90 is still loud sure! but its just One of them#now!#the fucking palpable relief
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skyeateyourdonuts · 1 year
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weeoo
#this is gonna be me talking in tags today#ive been rather sleep deprived lately trying to keep up with everything around me#and its been taking a toll on my health like#if i go too long like this i tend to feel more lethargic and my allergies kick in#i got a sore throat bc my room has been Freezing and then i get headaches way way easier#often times my face will flush but its just my nose and idk why#well anyways lmao i just aint feelin great due to lack of sleep#so i emailed my teachers and stayed home and others might say this wasnt it#but i can barely get to sleep at all these days and just bed ridding myself#seemed like the only way for my body to be like#'fine 🙄 u can sleep' lmao#thats actually one of the worst symptoms is im restless i just Cant grt to sleep no matter how hard i try#ive had a couple days where i was running on 2-3 hours bc i spent even longer Laying there#anyways i hope this makes a difference im tired of feeling tired and shitty#luckily my mood has weirdly been high#its just my sleep and health that are low#i think when the sleepiest soldiers are unable to get sleep thats when u know smths wrong#i think also so much is happening and me trying to keep up is taking more outta me than i expected#im a gal who gets overwhelmed easily even if im happy w whats happening lmao#tho im not Happy im more In a Good Mood lmao#side tangent but i HATE being an adult who doesnt have like idk Help lmao#like my dad was so nice to me sometimes and helped me sometimes#i could go a whole day sleeping bc id be fucking exhausted#and hed qake me up and ask me when i last ate and if i couldnt decide but itd been too long#hed make smth for the both pf us or hed make it For me and id just be able to like recover lmao#ah adulthood is hard lmao#alright im done#gata#no need to read <3 yall
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floral-hex · 3 months
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I’m so tired. I’m always tired. This suuuucks. and I’m sad and shitty. I know it’s only been a couple of weeks, but I don’t think remeron is a workin for me. Accidentally typed “wormin for me” at first. I wish it was wormin for me. Why won’t you worm for me?😔
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